not to be that person but IS THIS PATIAS ORB?????
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getting a scan today but i forgot why o_O
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Final Head (No. 31) // Mirroreyes
Cold, and you
Pull all the sin away
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i used to be so good at writing strong, thoroughly-researched, thoroughly-edited essays.
as a kid in hs, my teacher literally came up to me, holding my 40 page essay on the intersection of the European witch hunts and capitalism/exploitation/gender roles (it was supposed to be 7 pages...whoops) and went like "this is literally a master's-degree level thesis. what are you doing?? you could literally use this as your final dissertation in a master's program, what the fuck."
NOW??? NOW?? you'd think I'd be oh so skilled. but alas. i can barely piece together two ideas. adhd skill-regression is so so real. im SOBBING
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I don't think I'm meant to be employed. It really cuts into my goofy silly haha time. and it makes it nearly impossible to have any wow life is beautiful let me take it in time.
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Lately I did wonder
if you did it all to make you feel desired,
for love to replace your shame.
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me: why are the second to last pokemon harder to beat than the gym leaders final mons?
remembers i gave everyone an extra pokemon: is that why???
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do you think theyll ever be able to escape that cycle of sadness ? or will they be forever stuck in the madness, together ?
they really are bound to that sadness madness
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So it is potentially logical to say that the need to physically overcompensate in any sports like setting to keep up with more experienced members, in spite of the fact that you have significantly less experience and practice in those sports than them, could stem from the underlying feeling of constantly being behind and worse than others in the academic fields growing up, due to your undiagnosed mental illness, causing you to internalize any and all criticism of you being behind the others in any way as proof that you aren't as good as them, which then makes you put your body into overdrive once you realize that issues with your mental state do not hinder your body's performance to nearly the same degree, and you can finally keep up with other people of your general age and body type generally unhindered. Is that correct?
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