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phantaloon · 5 months

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okay okay im finally finished with both eps and here's my genuine opinion

the cast is 10/10, every single one of these kids knows exactly what they're doing and WHO they are, i can't imagine anyone playing each character better than them

the slight change in Sally and gabe's dynamic gave me a bit of whiplash at first, but the second time watching it, i kinda really dig it better than the books

the way they're portraying percy's feelings of inadequacy and the whole "i know I'm broken, i don't need you to make up stories for me"? fucking devastating, but it fits so fucking well (i can't remember if this is shown as deeply as it's shown here)

sally jackson is the most badass mfer and i fucking love her she is the godly parent fuck poseidon

it's been said before but sally calling percy perseus when she wants him to listen >>>

LOVED how they gave us the impression of percy having riptide while facing the minotaur, only for them to take it away (not really but percy didn't know that) and having percy face the minotaur book style rather than movie style

ANNABETH SAYING PERCY MUST BE THE ONE I SCREAMED

i am fucking loving the way they're doing percy's rage, like maybe it's bc i don't remember it as clearly in the books, but it's so raw, and walker does an amazing job portraying it, but the whole part where he offers food (a thing meant to be for gods) to SALLY, king behavior fr, and that monolog about making his father see them?? actual goosebumps

leah does such an amazing job portraying annabeth's indifference and apparent arrogance, i can't explain how much i love her, like she does it so subtly, it's just little gestures, but she IS annabeth chase (this felt especially cooler after seeing her in interviews, where she's actually really shy irl)

im not going to lie here, and like im sure it was done on purpose anyway, but i am feeling it kinda rushed, and I get it really! they won't waste time in the many chapters spent during camp introducing the world to us, when they've got few episodes, and the whole quest to showcase instead, but like, i would have loved to see percy training with luke (and besting him) and annabeth showing percy around camp (second time we've missed that) and idk just some fun little details, but like i said, i understand why they HAD to rush the intro, so I'm not upset about it or disappointed, just smth to notice

having said that, i really did love the bit of luke guiding percy through several activities trying to figure out his "calling", the callback to percy's horrible archery skills is 10/10

annabeth's yankees cap is fr a yankees cap and im crying

i nearly forgot, but im loving the nightmare sequences, i love how they're keeping the "voice" so faceless and shapeless, but just a light in the darkness of a nightmare, and really it's a great figure, bc a light in a nightmare is usually a good thing, it's the thing you run towards, and it's usually smth that helps you, but here, the light in the darkness is anything but good (quite literally) and he literally taunts percy, and fuels his fear and bitterness, and ugh I love it

the whole capture the flag sequence is 10/10 as well, i can't explain how much this healed me, just like annabeth leaving percy to be bored to death on his own, when she was right there, the transition between luke's "percy's got this" and percy doing the fucking floss dance? cinematic masterpiece, and like the fight sequence was really well done and crafted much much better than many others that rely on slow mo or weird angles, like the fight with clarisse and her spear was gold

dior's scream as percy breaks clarisse's spear alone deserves an emmy

leah portrays annabeth so effortlessly and naturally, I've said it before but i love her

i got like 10 seconds of annabeth interacting with percy and i can already see them together forever ahdjdj

overall 10/10 will rewatch again and again and again bc I'm in fucking love even if it does feel a bit rushed at times and there was the same lack of the hellhound as the movie

#pjo #pjo show #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #pjo tv show #pjo tv series

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zeephyre · 6 months

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CR3 EPISODE 78 SPOILERS

god. i love this fucking campaign. this one's gonna be long as shit.

despite how genuinely depressing this episode was, it also made me really giddy because i love hurt/comfort and there's no point of that if there's no hurt or angst.

im probably gonna go down the line with each member of bells hells, discussing what i can remember off the top of my head, i hope i don't forget anything in my rambles cause this was one of my FAVORITE episodes of the whole campaign and that's saying something.

i love ashton. i have loved ashton the most since the very beginning and for a lot of it i was really worried that ashton was deliberating running from opening up with bells hells while also going out of their way to have one-to-one convos with different members that were deep and insightful but never went as far as they needed to.

i am projecting a bit with analysis of ashton but taliesin does it best when rp'ing for ash and generally talking abt him in interviews. ashton reminds me of myself, which is not a compliment and is actually really terrible. ironically enough, ashton said the same thing abt fcg. i have spent a lot of time hurting myself by sabotaging the things i love, or embracing the worse parts of myself simply because it's become habit. there's always going to be a piece of you that finds the sadness, anger, guilt, emptiness, whatever -- comforting because it's all you've known.

ashton mourns a life that he never lived. i find myself mourning versions of myself that i would hate but still...yearn for them like an itch or an ache that comes from hurt. ashton wanted their family back, in whatever desperate, corrupted way he felt he should have done it, and hearing how he described feeling like he looked past the cautionary tale simply because he thought the pain they caused him should have meant something else made me think of imogen.

beautiful, sweet, powerful, dangerous, sad imogen temult. i won't comment on how everyone berated ashton because that's not really surprising nor was anything imogen said or did pertaining to ash shocking whatsoever. but... there's smth abt the destruction that ashton did to feel close to the idea of a family that doesn't really exist that just parallels so well with the fight that imogen has been undergoing since childhood. against the red storm, now against the call of ruidus, and the temptation and attachment she felt and still feels to her mother, despite everything liliana has done that jeopardizes everything imogen is fighting for.

abandoned by her mother, shunned by her own town, ignored and feared by her father.

going back to ashton again, there's smth to be said abt the guilt and shame that comes from making horrible choices that put yourself and the ppl you love in danger that forever changes the way they perceive you. I've done it. i had to fight to make things better. it can't be enough to love someone enough that would die for them, you have to fight to stay alive. if not even for yourself, for THEM.

i know it can be unhealthy to rely on others so much, but it's certainly not easy to fight for yourself when the foundation isn't there. learning how to love without throwing yourself on a blade is more important than self sufficiency. that comes afterwards.

i...don't like laudna's reliance on delilah briarwood this episode. i... there's smth very ironic about laudna being worried abt ashton's betrayal and the way he hurt her and the others with his deception and selfishness, coupled with my understanding of the absolute fucking insane, borderline stupid danger of even SPEAKING to delilah briarwood, let alone working WITH her.

i think it's hypocritical, but i don't feel any animosity towards laudna. just..sadness. delilah is a parasite. a disgusting, cruel, evil bitch who wants laudna to be... that weak little girl easily crushed under her thumb. she may preach abt laudna's latent power and potential, but laudna won't serve her purpose if she TRULY gains the strength to cast delilah aside forever. i don't think delilah was telling the truth abt their fates last episode, and that's why i so deeply want laudna to toss aside that defeatist mindset that has only gotten worse since episode one. maybe im wrong, maybe delilah was actually being genuine.

i kept watching imogens/laura's face during laudna's moments speaking with delilah alone, and it just made me sad because she didn't need to be alone. she had imogen, but she still felt the need to run and hide away. god i just want her to be happy.

i really liked the doll she made for ashton, even though delilah made it really creepy for no reason, the dramatic cunt she is. her assessment of ashton as being a child may seem rude or even a projection but to me it's the truth. ashton has not grown past his childhood. past abandonment and pain and mistrust and love that never lasts and always hurts. that shit followed them to adulthood and anyone who has any number of mental illnesses and childhood trauma will tell you that it's so easy to feel yourself stuck as a reactive, stubborn, bitter little kid trapped in a shitty cycle of pain. both ashton and laudna this episode felt like they were both broken, sad children interacting. laudna clinging to comfort from delilah, hiding away, mentally reverting to the person she was the last time she was in whitestone. ashton, clinging to his lost childhood and the acceptance of laudna's doll, the admittance that they'd never had a doll before. god... they're so sad, im gonna scream.

fcg apologizing for forcing faith down ashtons throat was sweet and so was ashton apologizing for being so bitter abt fcg's faith. now i just need fcg to apologize for the multiple instances where he put laudna in danger by casting turn undead with no acknowledgement of laudna afterwards.

fcg saying that ashton didn't love anyone or care about anyone hurt me a bit, because while i understood why they were saying those things, it was so... obviously untrue. before all of this, ashton has shown again and again and again how much he loves bells hells, and especially fcg. i know that ashton almost dying over smth so arrogant, desperate and foolish would make anyone question what someone's idea of "love" is, but still. it stung. maybe because i have been there. i know what it's like to be doubted and mistrusted because you ruined smth good callously and carelessly.

chetney... chetney really loves fearne. i don't care if y'all don't get it or if y'all still think chet is some joke character with no substance, I never understood that shit and i simply never will. chet and fearne probably have the best relationship in all of bells' hells -- and yes, that includes imogen and laudna because god knows those two have shit brewing under the surface that needs to be HANDLED, i.e: laudna being defeatist abt their relationship even tho it's barely begun.

chetney's a good man. him going after fearne was the best choice and im glad he gave her a couple laughs before she went off to wander. he cares about her so much, and he BELIEVES in her so much, and i love them. i LOVED the way he went in on ashton. hurting fearne by making a shitty decision and letting her bear the burden of watching ashton die right in front of her was... bad. it is very complicated but, that's pretty cut and dry.

i like him testing ashton again and again. telling him to leave but also being glad they chose to be brave and stay, and face the consequences of their actions. attacking ashton to see what all of any of that shit was even for. (im a little bummed that the shard didn't fully wake up yet but...i love the suspense im just impatient).

FEARNE. CALLOWAY. i love fearne, and i love the breakdown during the first part of the episode. it was such a raw moment and it established the tone of the episode so quickly. im glad that fearne knows that while ashton fucked up royally, her rejecting of the shard and complacence in ashton's plans was also royally stupid. i don't think her being terrified of taking the shard is bad or stupid, it's actually one of my favorite fearne character choices. no one ever actually asked her WHY she didn't want it, and when she said she didn't want it, it was still decided by the hells that the shard would go to fearne. (they're very shit at communication, poor babies). im happy that she specifically clarified that ashton did not threaten or manipulate her (plus he gave her many opportunities to not be involved with his bullshit if it made her uncomfy so im hoping the insane critters who keep treating ashton like some evil, predatory person finally stfu).

fearne being so scared of a version of herself that was sad, lonely, and "evil" to the point that she chose to believe that it was ashton's destiny to take in both shards is so... so rich. i hope she talks about that more in the next episode because i don't think she's EVER brought it up since exu. i don't think the shard would change fearne's personality but god the fact that SHE is so afraid of herself and what she's capable of.... AHHHH. love this damn party.

i hope liam knows that expect really painful roleplaying from him when he comes back cause i really do need ashton and orym interactions like i need air.

the choice to go to the fey realm was brilliant and i missed nana morri so it's a win for me. bells hells COULD have done what they've been doing for a while now, which is ignoring the pain they're all feeling and pushing forward, but ashton doing what they did was the straw that broke the camel's back and im GLAD because i have been begging them all to have real conversations with each other that don't get cut short prematurely for whatever reason.

i do hope that they do really lean into the self care aspect involving therapy and talking through their issues with ALL of the members present or even in groups, and it isn't just fun and games. they're prone to distraction. i love my little guys.

:( two weeks without bells hells. is it thursday, yet???

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eldritch-spouse · 3 months

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im taking the 50/50 gamble asking this cause yolo i guess (its ok i can wait centuries for my ask to be answered anyways.)

so uh— what if darling is insistent on leaving vesper, like— REALLY insistent. bringing it up casually saying “It’s going to turn me on even more when i leave you and go back to earth,” or “So where’s the going back home ritual?”

and this is kinda because darling doesn’t feel deserving of vesper. sure, she loves him— but like that one post, she just can’t stand seeing vesper having sex with others while she’s just a human who can’t take him. (forever a virgin) and also cause darling sees sex as a romantic while vesper sees it as….idk the word but you get it.

(maybes it even worse when darling has to dissociate and leave the room everytime she caught vesper with someone else. and she will get extremely depressed for days on end everytime she hears the moans and all— putting her in a constant cycle. sorry im projecting my bpd on darling.)

and i saw the post of vesper explaining it too, and while darling understands, she’s still sad regardless, and extremely hurt if vesper calls her cruel when she also tries to explain.

so darling went quiet, nods and casually walked away. and that’s when all the comments about wanting to go home started.

then weeks passed and no one ever saw darling ever again. because darling sees there’s no point to be with vesper anymore even if she loves him, but now she’s mostly inside her separate room 24/7 bedrotting (aka back to her old lifestyle before being taken into Hell.)

or you know, just gets up and leaves Hell altogether. find some way to remove the mark, asked a couple of concerned imps for the way home, or call upon an angel on the icon of hell phone to take them back to earth. and darling SUCCEEDED in returning home.

i know vesper um…is vespering but maybe this is a rare, once in a lifetime moment where vesper snaps, goes feral, actually blue balling himself for so long until he finds darling again on earth. and during that time hell is in constant chaos idk im just blabbering and rambling at this point.

but yeah, ending can be vesper finding darling again and turning her to a succubus, or darling just lives her life peacefully while hell is going down from the domino effect.

(and um, i too feel bad because i know and read your posts about vesper and he’s unfortunately my fav. it might seem strange genuinely disliking my fav but i too just wanted to try and forget about vesper after this.)

(um, if ur planning to write, please don’t get darling cucked in the ending. again, i know this is vesper we’re talking about. u can ignore and delete this ask if u don’t like me requesting darling doesn’t get cucked for the ending.)

(anyways, take ur time getting to my ask. i can wait a long while to the point i might forget sending this ask.)

I'm not going to write anything, you made a scenario on your own, the skeleton for the entire story is already there.

Though this does seem a bit weird. Are you actually genuinely upset with the character? I'm not going to upset you further by telling you how realistic or unrealistic some of his actions here are.

I don't even quite understand what you meant with reader getting cucked. Cucking doesn't really exist in Lust because having sex with others is simply natural and expected and partners don't see it as a betrayal, it'd just be another culture barrier in the relationship. Out of many other culture barriers that you have to adapt to whether you like it or not. You would continue to get "cucked", because the King of Lust cannot subsist on you alone, and he's not about to weaken himself because you find him having sex with others repulsive.

If you are genuinely upset with all this, for some reason, consider finding a character that won't cause that effect in you. I didn't really make any of this with the intent of causing people to get depressed.

#Vesper oc

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elviraaxen · 5 months

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im new here, so im sorry if this is a question youve answered before but tumblr's search bar failed me in finding this to be previous answered but.. uhmmm

c... can we make ocs/personas for Felt World? or would you rather we not or we hold off until further in?? bc i would love to make a puppet give our cowboy a smooch before he is, i assume bc he is a fucking catch and a half, taken off the market in canon lol i assume he wont still be single by the end. im a tad bit too embarrassed to ever post such drawings, but i wanted to know in case i ever did become brave enough to make them public if such you would be welcome to be tagged in or if that would make you feel uncomfortable

and also, for that purpose: as someone with disabilities, im really curious how disabilities are translated into Felt World? obviously not all of them, that'd take forever. but i was curious if they use mobility aids just like ours or if they use ones we could not have (an example of what i mean could be like "seal-chairs" in "Witch Hat Atelier"? they are chairs with hooves that run and jump, as opposed to wheels). and i know you said music is really powerful in this world, in both singing and instruments, but i wanted to also ask how in a world with so much focus on sound are the deaf/hard of hearing accomadated? deaf/HoH people can still play instruments, obviously (the most famous example being Beethoven), but i meant other than that

(also, if i recall accurately you once said that "the puppets have to speak to be considered sentient beings"? i was wondering if in the future could that be amended to "have to be able to communicate"? because i assume nonverbal puppets would still exist, as well as puppets who just dont speak much (whether thats a facet of deafness or nonspeaking shutdown or just a quiet personality). or would that break Felt World's world-building's logic in some way? that's a genuine question. i wasnt sure how to word it in a way that would minimize the risk of one being put on their back-foot, but i tried my best, it really is a genuine question)

(also, because i never like to assume fluency in disability-knowledge: if you need a resource on media portrayals of disability at any point, i highly recommend the youtuber, Oakwyrm. they do a lot of really cool analysis videos on disability. i do apologize if i am overstepping, and you are already largely fluent in disabled portrayals in media and/or already aware of Oakwyrm's existence. i just like to shout at least one resource out because i know many people have no idea where to look to learn more about general disability representation advice and whatnot. you do not have to watch their videos if you do not want to ♡)

also a bit of a tangent, idk if this is just a "for now" aspect of Donna due to her adjusting or if this is a core pillar of her personality but... just, thank you for making a feminine character who cries a lot and is emotional with Big Feelings. ive always felt more connected to the Dorthy Gales, Cinderellas, Clarisse de Cagliostros kind of heroines who are a bit of a "damsel in distress" (tho i do think that term reduces a lot of their agency and bravery) and i feel a bit lonely that we dont see many emotional-vitality-driven heroines who need some help as much as badass heroines or sassy heroines, both of whom are fully capable of getting shit sone alone. makes my cry-baby disabled ass feel a little pathetic (im very physically weak because of my chronic health issues, and am the type of Autistic ADHDer who is very sensitive to getting big feelings), even tho i know those types of heroines are valid and needed. i resonate a lot with AJR's lyric about "But I'm weak. And what's wrong with that?" even though i know im taking it out of context

and im sure Donna will prove herself capable of being on her own and having her own agency, same as all the heroines ive listed, i dont assume she will be stagnant, but i just wanted to really thank you for making a character that i relate to. i dont get that often. it makes me feel a bit abnormal and strange, and i mean moreso than the "well youre neurodivergent and sickly" kind of abnormal that would be implied. like. Weird Kid sitting alone at lunch kind of strange. so its really cool to see Donna and feel less lonely, is what im saying. i wish there were more heroines like her for people like me nowadays, rather than the archetype being reduced to "archiac stereotypes" (which i both do and dont understand the logic of. it depends on context and the example given) and therefore shelving a type of heroine we dont see in a lot of contemporary media (in exchange for a heroine we didnt get to see often (if at all) in past media, the sassy and badass ones, i do get it, and im glad theyre being used more as they should have always been. there are a select few of both camps that feel like "women have to be as stereotypically masculine as possible to be worthy of being called 'a strong character'" when i think strong characters have less to do with personality and more to do with "do they direct the narrative's plot? do they have agency?". but i could be wrong about that and i am getting off-topic)

but yeah. just. overall: thank you for introducing Donna to be like she is. it means a lot to me to see a heroine like her in contemporary media. im really excited to see what youll do next ♡ but yeah, i know im babbling a lot here and you dont need to reply to this half, i just really wanted to stress my thanks and WHY you have my thanks ♡♡♡ i really appreciate having Donna sit at my metaphorical lunch-table with me, even if she has to go sit somewhere else later. its been really nice to be beside her

thank you ♡

ps. i wasnt sure how to format this Ask because i know some people like to have each section have their own Ask for compartmentalizing/tag-organization reasons, but others like it all to be together so they know its all from one person as opposed to the anxiety of "ahh why did i get so many Asks all at once, did i do something wrong, do people hate me-- oh. its fine. i went through that rollercoaster for nothing. dear lord, am i drained now". so i tend to rather assume the latter, just in case; but do feel free to screenshot and section these out into their own posts if you are the former, i wont mind if youd rather do that ♡ have a nice day!!

Oh my goodness what a long message!!! 0.0!!

I had to take a few hours to think about everything to make sure I answered everything. But I should start off by showing my gratitude for the amount of time and effort you put into formulating this! So thank you, this was a really cool ask to receive <3

As for OCs, absolutely you can! I've already had a few who've made theirs, and I have no rules at all when it comes to shipping or self inserts or anything, as long as everyone is being respectful towards each other ^^

As for the disability aspect, I have a few key points that I want to explore in regards to especially deafness and muteness (is it called that? muteness?), but that's further along the story and will be introduced later! Also how song vs instruments work in this world is a part of the lore itself that'll be explained further down the line too, so no need to worry about our fellow mute or deaf/hoh peeps!

I have of course thought about mobility aids and other disability accommodations (because they can be born with defect, illnesses, and be injured pretty much like us, their bodies are a bit more fantastical but there are still rules) but i must admit didn't think further other than to give them similar mobility aids that we use. But clearly it would make more sense to make something more fantastical! I'll give it a thought! That's probably gonna be a fun design exercise ^^

I'm not sure if I can answer the entire ask in a way that does it justice, it's quite frankly the coolest message I've gotten, I'm gonna try and not let it get to my head (lol),

but i'm so glad you and seemingly many others seem to like Donna and appreciate her specifically for being sensitive and reacting strongly. It shouldn't be but it's really daunting to write female leads because as we know people just don't like women in media generally, but I eventually just got over it because I realized I was starting to write a character that demanded the audience cared and respected, rather than showing a story that I had fun telling, in a world worth exploring.

And not to spoil but I've already decided I do not want Donna to go through an arc where she's forced to abandon her emotions or go through something physically traumatic in order to "become tough" to be respected, that's not only overdone but lame and harmful wish fulfillment. So no worries in that department!

But anyways, I don't think I can properly say how appreciative I am of this ask!!! It really warms my heart that you and other people are going out of your way to send me asks about my little story that I came up with on a whim!!! It's truly the best compliment as a creator.

#long post #asks

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carsonian · 10 months

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Cap-IM Rec Week: Absolute Faves Monday

@cap-ironman, in no particular order:

"One-Man Army" by Captain_Panda

Takes place immediately after the Chitauri attack in Avengers 1. Steve is running himself into the ground. Tony notices. Then Steve gets knocked down hard. And Tony intervenes.

Mt. Everest. The fic that I've made 20+ fanarts for, the one that's been ricocheting around my noggin since I first read it. Ahh, OMA. You big, bombastic beauty.

"Role of a Lifetime" by Annie D (scaramouche) (@no-gorms)

It’s been almost a year since Tony was rescued from the Ten Rings by SHIELD. In this time, Tony has forged a new path for Stark Industries and taken on a new under-the-radar role as a consultant for SHIELD. Tony’s SHIELD job eventually brings him into contact with the newest Captain America, who’s a pretty cool guy, though for security reasons Tony can’t know his real name or see his face without the Captain America mask. This is also about the time that Tony notices a certain Mr. Stevens, a new hire in SI’s corporate office...

This AU….this AU… I tell ya, THIS AU….this is some high-quality, top-grade, cutting-edge, organically grown, grass-fed, imdb ten of ten, five-star michelin, test-tube perfection, new york bestseller, billboard luster, knockout buster shiz.

"Meso Park" by Captain_Panda

As the head theropod keeper for A.I.M.'s extraordinary new project, Steve Rogers wants a smooth summer opening. Then the unthinkable happens, on the same day the investor of a lifetime arrives, ready to throw his support behind the world's most ambitious theme park. Can Meso Park survive the upheaval? Can Steve? Tune in to this dinosaur-themed adventure inspired by Michael Crichton's classic, Jurassic Park.

I've said it many times before, I'll say it again: if Meso Park has 100 fans, I'm one of em. If Meso Park has 10 fans, I'm one of em. If Meso Park has 1 fan, that fan is me. If Meso Park has 0 fans, I am no longer alive. It's not yet finished and I'm already sure it's the fic of the decade. That's just Meso Park for you.

"Gather Ye Rosebuds" by lazywriter7

It isn’t like that, for many people. For them, love is the point: the axis around which everything else revolves, the destination at the end of a long, tumultuous journey. Realisation, confession, resolution. Happy ending. That’s how it goes. And love was a point in Tony Stark’s journey, except it came towards the beginning, rather than the end. The issue, instead of the solution. He hasn’t been alone on the trip, of course. Steve’s been there: sometimes three steps behind, sometimes waiting up ahead by the turn of the road. They’ve sprinted and stumbled, sometimes stood still and refused to move on ahead, sometimes thought of turning away altogether. Steve and Tony’s story began after they fell in love, and this is about how they fell in everything else.

I read this Way Back When, and I remember thinking I'd never seen such a convincing portrayal of MCU SteveTony and how a genuine relationship between the two of them could emerge while still accounting for (hold your puke) canon. Still rock-solid all the way through; knock against the fic at any point, and it will answer back with a fun two-part joke. Lush stuff.

"The First Time I Went Dancing Sober" by schemingreader

Steve Rogers is a great physical therapist who works with sick kids. Tony Stark is a damaged biotech engineering genius who really wants to be one of the good guys.

I've recc'd this before so I won't blabber on but rest assured it is heartwrenchingly good.

"But Your Spirit is Untainted; I Can Dedicate You Still" by BlossomsintheMist (@blossomsinthemist)

The incursions crisis is over, and Steve and Tony have gotten back together, but nothing is the same as it was. Fearing that things are broken between them forever, Steve asks Tony something unexpected to try to make things right. Or, Steve asks if Tony really meant what he said when he asked Steve to hurt him. Sequel to Might Have Cherished You More Wisely.

I couldn't give less of a FUCK that this isn't technically finished. It is finished, to ME. The character-building in this story is just rich and fleshy and the stuff of true finesse. I read this every once in a while just to have the taste of masterful storytelling on my tongue. You should, too ;)

"Sins of Omission" by Kiyaar (@kiyaar)

A Post-Civil War, Pre-Secret Invasion AU where Steve is dead, Tony's a mess, and everything sucks. In which Tony deals poorly with Steve's death, falls off the wagon, sees ghosts, and misses a lot. Oh, and the Skrulls are about to invade.

When I first came across this fic, I devoured it in about 2 days and proceeded to be devoured by it for the next 2 months. :) Lovely stuff!

"Catechism" by manic_intent (@manic-intent)

Inspired by fanart seen on tumblr, this is an End of Days story, with all the Avengers as Archangels. Tony had always known that he was a special snowflake. He just hadn't realized exactly how special.

Listen. I'm a simple gal. This ticks off all the boxes, uh-hello!

"not gruesome, just human" by isozyme (@isozyme)

“I need to crash on someone’s couch for a while. Your couch. I need to crash on your couch,” Tony says. Steve’s mouth opens. If he asks why Tony’s going to bolt, he can feel the certainty of it under his sternum. He doesn’t have a sternum anymore, just a tangle of metal under his skin. Too many things have punched through it to get to his heart. There hasn’t been enough bone left to reconstruct anything made of flesh in a long time. “There’s borscht on the stove,” Steve says.

Raw. Punchy. Kind of makes me want to weep. Kind of makes me smile. Lotsa stuff that you can only write about when you've been down and which after reading will lift you right back up.

And I'll stop myself there because I could definitely just go on and on and on.

Go forth: SteveTony lovers, fuckers, ambassadors, champions, perverts, freaks, losers, dreamers, legends! Read, re-read, kudo, comment, spread legs and spread love.

#do u know how hard it was to not just fill this up with annie d and captain_panda?? do u??#capimrecweek #absolute faves monday #fic recs #stevetony #captain_panda

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tadpolesonalgae · 1 month

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okay, so this isn't a recommendation or like an attempt to sway what ur planning for the plot of cbmthy... more like, ik this will be very unlikely to happen but i like to ✨️imagine✨️ so treat it more like a silly au thought 🫢🫢

but anyways, i think it would be soooooooooo 🤌 delicious in terms of angst if, in cbmthy, az starts falling in love with reader and he realizes that. but before he can express his feelings or do anything about it, the mating bond snaps between them. bc you Know our insecure & high key depressed girlie is Not gonna ever believe he actually loves her. like i headcanon cbmthy azriel as someone who desperately strives for a romantic partner but he also doesn't think he's deserving of it for his own self esteem issues (and thus probably why he keeps going after "unavailable" females knowing that it will be unlikely to work out). and finally, FINALLY he gets the literal Sign From God™️ that he is meant to love and be loved by someone. and even though there was some.. not so great moments between them he'll still want to Try and make it work bc he's in love with her and they're literally mates.

but in reader's perspective it'll just look like he suddenly has an interest in her bc of the bond and she'll constantly question if he truly loves her (bc even tho i did perceive it as a heat of the moment slip up from him, the "if you were half the female [your sister] is" and "you think you're deserving of me?" comment would haunt me forever if someone said that to me, let alone someone i have a Crush on 😭). like az would do all these romantic gestures in attempting to convince her of his affections and it'll just upset her more. bc to her, the only logical reason he's acting like this is because of the bond, and she's convinced that if his mate was literally anyone else, he wouldn't bat an eye towards her. like.. combined with her insecurity about beauty (comparing herself to mor or elain) that we've alr seen, anything he does will just solidify her disbelief of his love.

can u imagine the devestation of hoping for a lover ur whole life and it turns out the person who was destined to be Exactly That will never believe ur love bc u (whether intended or not) fucked it up.... the mistrust. the miscommunication. the angstttttttt omg.

sorry im literally writing fanfic of ur fanfic at this point lmao 😭😭 anyways ty for listening to my rambling 😔

‘ik this will be very unlikely to happen but i like to ✨️imagine✨️ so treat it more like a silly au thought 🫢🫢’

Girl I’m going to be honest there have been quite a few points where the paths for cbmthy have severely diverged from my original plan and I’ve considered writing aus that explore them just to commemorate them (once cbmthy is entirely finished up, of course 🫣) so I’m delighted getting to hear your ideas on it!!

‘but before he can express his feelings or do anything about it, the mating bond snaps between them.’

Okayyy, so as the actual reader we would know Az’s feelings were true and were already present before the bond snapped into place, but because he hadn’t voiced them beforehand reader/‘you’ would doubt the sincerity of his feelings upon deciding to voice them? Poor reader 😭

‘like i headcanon cbmthy azriel as someone who desperately strives for a romantic partner but he also doesn't think he's deserving of it for his own self esteem issues’

I strongly agree with you there! I’m really hoping sjm treats his mentality well because I think it would also be a good chance not just to address mental health and self esteem issues on their own but also men’s mental health? Chaol’s arc in ToG (ToD) is probably one of my favourite because it felt so genuine to me, so I hope Az gets one like his, or Feyre’s, or Nesta’s 🧡💛

‘but in reader's perspective it'll just look like he suddenly has an interest in her bc of the bond and she'll constantly question if he truly loves her’

Nooo so she’d be living with this constant doubt and on top of all her own problems and she’d have be locked in a perpetual battle with her own mind on how genuine his emotions are? 😭😭

‘bc even tho i did perceive it as a heat of the moment slip up from him, the "if you were half the female [your sister] is" and "you think you're deserving of me?" comment would haunt me forever if someone said that to me, let alone someone i have a Crush on 😭’

He did kind of—intentionally or not—cut right to her bones with those comments huh? 🫢

‘can u imagine the devestation of hoping for a lover ur whole life and it turns out the person who was destined to be Exactly That will never believe ur love bc u (whether intended or not) fucked it up....’

Stop I hadn’t considered the angst from Azriel’s side!! I suppose I write from reader’s perspective so frequently and her and Az have been (in a way) quite cold to one another (maybe awkward is a better word?) that I hadn’t thought what would happen if a mating bond happened and what that would mean for Az 😭

‘sorry im literally writing fanfic of ur fanfic at this point lmao 😭😭 anyways ty for listening to my rambling 😔’

No it’s so fun to hear!! Really it’s such a heartwarming experience that you enjoy cbmthy enough to be so involved with it, it means so much to me so thank you ☹️🫂

Okay, so my thoughts on this—if I’m honest, I think I’m familiar for the most part with how cbmthy is going to conclude? There are still many things I need to fine-tune since there’s a large chunk of story still to tell, but for the most part the different paths I’ve taken up to this point I’ve chosen due to my own writing capabilities (or what I think they are)? Like you said, I think this would be great for a one shot, and it was a path I’d actually considered to some extent, but personally I don’t think I’d be able to successfully write reader recovering if a mating bond snapped before Azriel got a chance to tell her about his feelings which is why that won’t be happening in the main story :)

That being said, I would like to explore those sides of things on a smaller, more controlled level? For example instead of it being a mating bond, now that reader’s magic has come out so obviously I think that’s something reader will struggle with, plus one other subplot that’ll finally come to light at the end of Ch. 15 which reader might speculate is affecting how Az acts around her in future parts!

Either way I’m looking forward to when the next part is finally complete since it’s taking me ages 😭🧡💛 I’m also excited to see how you’ll react to it and what you’ll make of different character’s choices!

#anons <3 #cbmthy #cbmthy chapter 15

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7cakerolls · 1 year

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ctto 4 the gif !

i want to know you. human! neteyam x reader (highschool AU)

the eyes that could look only at you. (chapter five- finale)

aah thank u all for ur love and support on the series!! please leave ideas on what to write next :-)))

previous chapter…

you shut the door in his face, knowing the last thing you needed was to see the face of the guy you had once admired more than anyone in the world, and the one who single-handedly shattered your expectations for love with one action. you pressed your back to the door, hoping he would just leave it alone and you could forget about this whole thing.

“(yn), i know you are in there. you cannot ignore me forever! it was a misunderstanding, she pushed herself on me. i do not want her, i could only want you. you have to believe me…” he sounded genuine about it, but your trust in him had been slaughtered. how could you even look at him, when that face you once loved had been all over the face of another?

“i…i ran after you immediately. she means nothing to me. do you not know how much i adore you? please… speak with me eventually. i’ll wait for you.” he said sadly. you could hear the pain and grief in his voice. as he just began to walk away, you meekly opened the door. “do you mean it?” you asked. he turned around and looked you directly in your eyes, his vision focusing solely on you.

“i only have eyes for you, i promise.” he walked up to your doorstep, looking at you with love and affection. he reached out to hold your hand, gently, and you accepted, even if you were scared. somehow being im his embrace meant you felt no longer fearful of what the future held in love. holding his hand made you realize that you were safe, and that everything would be alright. you felt at peace for once, being with the boy you had grown to adore more as the days went on.

——timeskip to a couple years forward——

you all had grown up so well, with you and neteyam becoming inseparable. you had become the best of friends and best of lovers, as you knew everything about him from his favorite color, to the birthmark on his left calf. as did he for you. you all had shared so many moments and so many memories, from dearly intimate ones to loss and grief together.

but today was the day you would part for a while, until the day you would come to reunite. neteyam was graduating, and you were a year behind. this hurt you, to see him walking across that stage without him, as he progressed on to his next stage of life. but you knew everything would be alright. you would come join him at college in the spring, bringing back the dynamic duo.

“my love, i have accomplished many things during my time with you.” he spoke softly as he gently held your hand and looked in your eyes. “me too, ‘teyam… i’ll miss you a lot.” you were tearing up, and he hated when you were sad, so he went to wipe them from your eyes that were growing red and puffy. “but do you know what my greatest accomplishment is?” he asked you sweetly, staring into your eyes with nothing but love.

“it was getting to know you.” he said, and this time, you knew that everything would be okay in this moment, and for the ones that would follow.

this wasn’t goodbye, and you were sure of that. no more maybe.

**end**

thank you for reading!!

#Spotify #atwow neteyam #neteyam #neteyam x reader #neteyam x y/n #atwow fluff #neteyam sully #atwow tsireya #neteyam te suli tsyeyk'itan #atwow kiri #tsireya #kiri

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yoonyia · 25 days

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reading enders game again is messing with me again

STOP JUST WRITING ME ORSON SCOTT CARD

GET ME OUT OF YOUR BOOK

LEAVE ME ALONE

STOP SHOWING ME THE EXACT TRAITS THAT I HAD IN THE EXACT TIME FRAMES AS THE CHARACTER

STOP IT

PLEASE

ITS NOT FUNNY

I NEED YOU TO STOP DOING THIS

I SHOULD NOT BE READING THIS BOOK ABOUT CHILD SOILDERS BEING BEATEN UP AND BE LIKE "oh yea I did the exact same thing" NO THIS IS NOT WHAT SHOULD FUCKING HAPPEN

STOP SHOWING ME THE EXACT THOUGHT PATTERNS I FOLLOWED AS A PRETENTIOUS LITTLE BITCH

STOP SHOWING ME THE SAME COPING MECHANISMS AND FEARS AND IMPULSES AND SPIRALS I ALWAYS FELT

STOP IT

the sheer amount of times I had to put the book down because my brain was like "hey you do that too" is going to kill me.

DONT MAKE ME INTO A BOOK CHARACTER MY GOD LET ME BE A PERSON

the scene near the beginning where ender goes like "I was smiling because I found it funny they thought me of all people should represent all these launchies while I'm barely capable of holding myself is so funny, but others will think im smiling with them at their joke" is genuinely something I have constantly thought is pissing me off

and the entire enders thing of seeing peoples faces on things that he's afraid of???? excuse me sir did you just steal one of my most common hallucinations?????? and also the entire peter thing of thinking I'm a horrible violent person that finds joy in killing?????? because no matter what I do I always end up hurting people to the most they can be hurt and I know I meant it, and I hate and am horrified of that side of me that can kill people???? the feeling of wanting to kill someone then later being absolutely terrified of yourself and who you are and having to constantly remind your self that you're not that person and then failing because no you are that person, the world never proves you wrong. THIS GETS PERSONAL

the weird ways of insulting people people for their incompetence then immediately acknowledging their worth and skill????

I'm a dipshit I'm so sorry

the hatred of respect???? THE LEARNING HOW TO CRY QUIETLY BECAUSE IF YOU CRIED TOO LOUDLY YOU WOULD BRING ATTENTION TO YOURSELF????

THE LEARNING HOW TO SAY THINGS WITH NO SARCASAM AND MAKING IT SOUND GENUINE?

I could just go listing forever and it bothers me

I am such a boring horrible person

I can be diluted down to a book

I am so pretentious

I'm calling myself the main character of a book

it's so ridiculous and stupid

I want to cry

I wish I had a sister

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late-tothe-party-07 · 9 months

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Nerding out about Rise Movie

(Yes I am aware Im late. That's my whole brand. Shut.)

Anyway. This is specifically about the last bits cause of course it is.

*ahem *

Cant find a GIF but yknow that bit, when Leo tells Casey to basically pull the plug, to let him die, and the kid grabs the key to do so. But he doesnt do it right away and you can see the struggle so clearly its amazing.

Theres Casey knowing he will be the cause of losing Leo again, in such a short time. He doesnt want to. This is his father figure/uncle. This is one of the only comforts he knew and he has to be the one to kill it. And then there's resolve that its the right thing to do.

Its almost like Casey was trying to impersonate Future Leo, a person he looked up to, who made hard choices for the good of everyone.

But then the bravery is gone, crumbling at his feet and Casey doesnt want to make the hard choice. This is still a kid. This is still someone who a few hours earlier had watched his world die. Every last bit of it.

He doesn't even look when he finally does it. And he doesn't stay put and pull, he runs away.

The moment the portal shuts Leo stops fighting.

The moment his brothers are safe he just stops.

There is no brave front, no stoic decree that he will make the Kraang's life hell or take revenge somehow more than he has. He's done.

However almost everyone I see writing this bit in fanfics always makes it sound like he didn't care about dying and that isn't true. He wants to live. He's crying, wanting his family to hold him and be in the good times again so he holds onto the picture. But he's genuinely too tired to do much and he knows there's nothing he can do anyway. Doesn't mean he doesn't still want there to be.

Who says sacrifices arent scared of dying?

The fact the boys gave it everything they got and all the Kraang had to do was flick a finger. That is terrifying and such an awesome way to display the villain's power. They have no hope of defeating it, and its not hard to see how the Kraang took over the world in a different timeline. To have the turtles do all that and it to be brushed away as a little less than an inconvenience. Horrifying. Good job.

Call it talking about something obvious, but I love the scenes we see that we thought was the end, with Leo gone forever. Cause at that point the world was saved, people were probably celebrating if they could see it happening, but to our heroes there was no victory. To them the end is as devastating as if they had lost. The background behind Casey as he clutches Leo's sword is the same red he grew up with, where death and loss and fear was as common as air.

Donnie is crying, and he shakes his head as he realizes cause no, this cant be reality. This wasn't in his plans. He denies the tears because that means its hurting. And if it's hurting that means that it happened.

Raph is on the ground cause he is the big brother, meant to protect them, and he failed. The grief is piled on by guilt and anger and sorrow and the need to do something but he can't and its too heavy. Even he can't carry all of it.

Fun little tidbit to finish but I love how when Mikey opens a portal to get Leo back, Raph and Donnie also take some of the backlash to that power. Its also a little funny that its the two turtles who were dead when he opened the time gateway, especially since Ninpo is stronger when they are united as a family and he opened that portal alone.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk

#what is a TED talk #idk #but its for the memes #save rise of the tmnt #save rottmnt #rottmnt raph #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt donatello #rottmnt casey jr #rottmnt leo #rottmnt mikey #rottmnt movie #rise movie #rise of the tmnt #Late rants

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littleonekitten · 10 months

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Is anyone else scared of being intimate with another person who wasn’t their first? My first intimate experiences with my ex partner was a very big deal, and the only reason I was intimate with him is because I genuinely thought he was the one. He would be my forever dominant, and that would be it, he would be my forever and my happily ever after so I gave him everything. And now that he’s gone, ( which I’m not sad about that,Im just absolutely terrified of being intimate ever again) and now I feel like I betrayed my future person. I’m terrified of having to have the “ I have sex trauma” talk again, it physically makes me queasy thinking that I’ll have to be intimate with someone again, and then they could leave, just like what happened every time I’ve been intimate in any capacity. Now I feel an overwhelming pressure to have to find another dominant so I don’t have to feel lost, but more then that I feel like if I ever do truly find my forever dominant that I betrayed them by not saving myself. It seriously meant the whole world to me to save myself for that person so I could just be completely theirs, and only theirs. And now I’m always going to have to say, yes, I have been intimate and I’m not pure anymore and that just really breaks me, and makes me feel very insecure and unwanted. Maybe I’m overthinking this and yes I do feel like I can have a unhealthy and extreme mindset when it comes to the “fantasy” of being a submissive and having a true dominant. I hate myself for trusting my gut when I always knew I was going to be alone and I always knew it wouldn’t work out so I wouldn’t get more heartbroken or get my hopes up. I think big me is okay with that, but my little side and especially my submissive side is taking it very hard. I don’t think I’m going to be desirable now that I’ve been used and “claimed” I’m scared that I’m always going to be feel like I “belong” to someone else who isn’t my forever partner. The innocence is what truly helps fuel my little space and my subspace, that’s what made it such a big part of me while also really protecting myself as well. It was a very protective coping mechanism, and now that the thing I was protecting is gone I don’t know what to do. Am I ever going to be seen/ treated as submissive/ little me dreams of despite me not being “clean”. It makes me feel like I’m lying to myself. While I’m not trying to slut shame myself ( I’ve only been intimate with one person) i can’t help but feel so dirty on the inside and so scared to how my future dominate will see that or feel about it. Maybe it could just be a deep fantasy I have about being an innocent little one and have my forever dominant make me theirs and only theirs and training me how they want me, like a corruption thing, or maybe it’s just what I want in my heart because I fantasied so heavily about loosing my virginity and what I wanted it to be like and where and every single specific detail. ( when I lost it, it was nothing like what I wanted or fantasied about, and I remember beating myself up for it for days.) maybe I want someone to help heal that inner fantasy. I don’t know- is that weird though? To feel so scared to be physically vulnerable with someone else ever again because they might leave too, and use me and then I’ll be 2 people used and not just one? Am I an awful submissive/ little for caring what my dominant thinks about experience or body count? I feel very sad and scared that I can never be in that innocence little space place ever again. I feel scared that I’ll be judged if I tell my dominant that- or what if they don’t find that attractive. My ex recently told me something, In the beginning of our relationship we both had high libido,since it was the beginning I was in little space almost every time we were spicy because of how nervous and scary it was, and I remember 2 times after we finished I felt so safe and connected that I opened up on how scared I was that I cried into his chest on how I thought he was gonna leave me. It gave him the ick so he had no more libido… and that hurt.

#angel speaks

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creativebrainrot · 9 months

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open journal entry

just writing about Brain Garbage i had to deal with today.

descriptions of abuse at the hands of my dickhead father. (not to be confused with My Dad who is a sweetheart that I would fight god for.)

TLDR: I am incapable of assuming that anyone who acts like they care about me or enjoys my company Actually Means It because I had Basic Human Social Ques weaponized against me for my first 16 years alive. I am currently incapable of believing that anyone genuinely cares when they're nice to me: They're ACTUALLY doing it out of pity/civility/jsut because they're a nice person/etc and Not because I am a friend that they care about. I am also incapable of assuming that anyone that enjoys my company considers me special in any regard.

like I still have to fight off dumb ass thoughts that if I disappeared tomorrow, no one would care. There's also the stupid little loopholes my brain will find like "even if they DID care, its because youre their friend and they "Should Care" and not because they, on their own, considered you, individually, special." because minds are, infact, Stupid, and Overrated. :)

im working on it.

i have literally no self perception what so ever. that's only slightly hyperbolic. If someone doesn't tell me what they think of me, my default is to assume that they like me in that moment. The second anyone stops talking to me for awhile, I assume it's because they're bored of me. That it's because they no longer like me. They'll be back in a week or two, or they'll be gone forever.

I know why this is my default of course. i've been isolated, for 21 years, in the middle of no where, with no friends- let alone real friends who care, until last December. my abuser. who would, when I was 13 and younger- actually he never stopped being like this. I stopped playing the game instead. He'd act "normal" (loving, listening to me, joking with me, caring about me, being a father,) for a week. then he'd reset. he'd be right back to acting cold, distant, like I was an annoyance, a nuisance. Unwanted. I would have no indication of this beforehand (thats how this bullshit worked, if id known, it wouldnt have been abuse.) He ambushed me with being fed up of me, wanting to play and talk with my father, like a child WOULD want, all the time. it was always either very insidious words he could pass off as an "accident" or him "misspeaking" or legitimately, straight up, brushing me off. his autistic, loving child, who took that shit VERY personally, every time. I wanted, and i needed, routine. I still need routine to be happy. I know for a fact he used that against me when he lived with us. There was another thing he'd do to me. I'd read all the social ques he set up, and understand all the things he said, but when I later assumed I'd known right, he would flip around and say he never said that. he never meant that. and always imply that I was stupid for thinking I'd understood his Exact Words correctly. obviously, this was more abuse, and he was just lying. because he could. to trip me up. to make me doubt myself. it resulted in me never listening to a fucking word he said. Aswell as the lingering issues of me, still assuming, that I cannot read people. That people who act like they enjoy my company are simply being civil. Or that they do enjoy my company, but it wont last. They'll get bored of me eventually and then I'll never hear from them again. Or i'll hear from them again a week or two later. I know it's all nonsense- That it's all just, residual effects from my abusive childhood. That I'll unlearn it eventually.

But I cannot put into words how frustrating it is to be having an okay or fine time and then be blindsided by how desperate and lonely I was trained to be by a manipulative piece of shit who never loved me. Lied to my fucking face- his goddamn child, every day of my life while he was in it.

To be blindsided by how insecure I was made to be. The self-hatred I feel for things that are not my fault is so goddamn, suffocating. It's not my fault I'm desperate for attention; I was deprived of genuine love and attention for 20 fucking years. Sure I had my dad that whole time but one parent cant, and shouldnt be expected, to make up for an abusive parent. My dad is the reason I'm even alive right now. He's the only reason I never acted on any of my suicidal thoughts. But he couldn't fix the abuse that piece of shit inflicted on us both. It's not my fault I feel worthless and unwanted; I spent the first two decade of my life being told through implications that I WAS a nuisance and unwanted and worthless. It's not my fault I'm so fucking lonely when he chose somewhere in the middle of nowhere with no my age around, with no school nearby I could walk to- somewhere with only military families that would leave in a few months or retired people who dont fucking want to talk to anyone else and sure as hell dont make for good friends for my queer gen z ass. Let alone that we're in the south, and I am nonbinary.

None of it is my fault. I want to unlearn it.

I just want to believe that i am special to someone. You don't know how tired I am of the voices in my mind telling me that I will never be wanted, or loved, or needed, or missed when I'm not around.

How tired I am of being genuinely incapable of believing that I have any value to anyone alive, unable to believe that anyone would care if I was gone tomorrow.

I am exhausted. I am so tired, of believing that I am unwanted, that I am pathetic, that I am worthless, that I will never be remembered when I'm not in the room or around.

I just want to unlearn it all and move on with my life.

Very slowly, I am.

There's brighter days ahead. I've held onto hope for so long it's starting to hurt. I want it to be over and done with already- all of it. The move out of this wretched house that always felt like a prison, unlearning these nasty lies that were implanted in my mind to make me vulnerable to more abuse, the poverty, which is also the result of residual abusive actions. I can't tell you how many times my dad saved that idiot from making us homeless.

I know that these nasty lies are just that; lies. I know that I'll get a chance to truly feel like my friends and loved ones care. I know that I'll be able to put all this behind me someday soon and never look back.

in the meantime I am so sick of the thoughts in my mind rendering me incapable of believing that my friends genuinely like me. So tired of it actually hurting, to even think of letting myself believe that they care. Every single last time I let myself believe that someone cared, I got hurt. But that "someone" was the same person, every time. The people in my life now, are not that man. Infact they've been kinder to me and shown more care for me than he ever genuinely did in the 21 years I had with him in my life. That's not even remotely hyperbolic.

idk man, brain shit is annoying and bullshit and BOY do I want my mind to shut the fuck up again and let me live.

#parental abuse #abuse #suicide mention #rotthoughts

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