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risetherivermoon · 3 days

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the oak-swallows-garcia's at the time of the epilogue!! this is also me working on revamping some designs..stay tuned, im planning on doing this with all of the families! tho idk if ill get to it...we'll see

i feel like hero looks a lot like the twins where norm looks a lot like rebecca, especially as she got older, i need to revamp my design for her or at least make a proper one lol, as well as one for s2 hero

started with these guys because i have not stopped thinking abt them since the finale, like oh my god...this family man.

(HUGE descs of post-canon/epilogue hcs below cut, as well as closeups!)

first off: Hero! (i posted a wip/close up of her a bit ago but that was before i realized i got the ages wrong,) she's 40, working for NASA after going to college, she's currently single, living with her two best friends she met in college and their cat, Momo. She's living her best life, still in therapy, and is finding it to be very helpful. She hasn't spoken to the Twins and Rebecca in about six or seven years, but keeps in contact with Normal regularly, after everything that happened while she was a child and years of therapy she decided it was best to go no contact with them, they respect her decision. Her and Normal call every few weeks just to catch up.

Normal! not too different from what was already described in canon, he's 38, living alone outside of California, he attempted to go to college after graduation and ended up dropping out in his Sophomore year, after a mental health crisis got him way off track. Now he's working a retail job in Boston, while attempting to go back to school and graduate. He hasn't exactly put in the effort to keep in contact with the rest of the teens, though Scary and Linc call or text him every now and then. Normal was at there wedding, and attends every one of Gerry's birthday parties. He's in contact with his parents, though mostly only Rebecca. He's in therapy, but he's still struggling. He is also still talking to Henry, and he visits Oakvale every now and then, just to say hi to him and his Aunt Birdie. (screw yall shes real to ME)

Rebecca! At 60, She and the twins are still living in San Dimas, she's only just now retired officially, though living comfortably with the money from Swallow's ice cream. Her marriage with Sparrow has always been rocky, but they're at a point where it's easier to live together and stay married. Though they more so are living as friends other than a married couple. Her relationship with Lark has always been weird, though she'd consider them good friends as well. She texts with Normal practically daily, because she worries about him a lot. After she died for a brief amount of time, she started to rethink a lot of things in her life, one of those things being the amount of time she spends focusing on her kids and making sure they're alright. If Normal was anyone else he'd probably say she was being too clingy. Shed attempted to revive her dying relationship with her daughter as well, but inevitably respected her decision once Hero decided to go no-contact. She still asks Norm about her though.

Sparrow!! this one is interesting! At 31 (pre-s2), he hits a specific point as a druid where he gains the Timeless Body ability, where his aging slows as he gets older, Sparrow wasn't aware thats what was happening until he realized around his mid forties that he wasn't looking any different. After a long conversation with Henry, he figures out that's what's happening. He doesn't tell anyone besides Lark for a while until it's too noticeable to hide. at 59, he's living at home with Rebecca and Lark still, and is spending most of his time gardening and painting, or attempting to keep his mind off of...everything. Sparrow isn't living happy or comfortably, though it seems that way from an outside point of view. He finds himself trying to ignore everything going on around him, the fact his life is in shambles, and the inevitable of his loved ones dying before him. He throws himself into his art, to the point where Rebecca has to drag him out of their art studio (their garage) to eat and sleep. He barely leaves the house, because people around town had already started to notice how young he looks.

Lark!! agghgh if you thought my sparrow description was a bummer get buckled. Lark never really recovered from the aftermath of The Doodler and Code Purple, he had really been solely living off of his dedication to fixing everything. So once everything was fixed, he crashed. Badly. For about seven months no one knew where he was, he ran off to the other side of the country and basically went on a self destructive spree, driving around aimlessly. Once he came back home, Sparrow and him had their first heated argument. Sparrow wouldn't let Lark out of his sight, and pushed him to do something other than wallow in self hatred. So Lark started working at a mechanic shop down the road, and without his usual purpose, he threw himself into the work.He worked there for 12 years before an accident involving his right knee happened, leaving him immobilized (hence the mobility aid/cane). Sparrow forced him to leave the job behind after that, at 59, Lark's basically been in a weird stasis, waiting to die.

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askbensolo · 7 days

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Hey Ben!

I first found your blog when i was 13 years old and i just turned 18! I’ve been watching (or rather reading) as you’ve grown, and I’d like to say that you seem to have turned out to be a pretty great person. Even though I hadn’t faced the same challenges as you, it was really comforting to know that i was not alone with personal struggles, and just how hard growing up is. Thank you for being you and sharing that with so many people! I head off to university when my planet transitions to fall, and since you’re out of school now do you have and recommendations for college/university? It seems like such a daunting change, but you seemed to have handled it well. (I mean you did graduate so that’s a pretty big success!) Again I’m super proud of you!

-P.S.

Im glad that you’re getting back in contact with Fannie! You should totally invite her on a day out (go to a park, hang out in a market, etc.) I think those are great ways to better connect with someone if they feel a little distant. (plus that could be a perfect opportunity to ask her if she would like to move in with you)!

Thanks! Stay Awesome Ben!

Hey anon! Congrats on becoming an adult! It’s okay if you don’t feel like one yet, haha—Force knows I didn’t when I was eighteen. I’m glad I could share my growing-up experiences with you and everyone! And I'm glad you think I'm a decent guy. I try. Well, usually.

Congrats on getting into university! Oh, what? You're asking me for advice? Well, yeah, I guess I did graduate, heh. Sure, I'll give it a go.

Don’t freak out about not knowing how to do stuff—like not knowing how to buy groceries, or sign a lease, or navigate local speeder lanes, or apply for a job, or any of that. I used to not know how to do any of that. I was freaked out. But somehow, I learned. And now it’s no big deal. Older students and the holonet are your friends when it comes to figuring that stuff out!

For the love of the Force: take care of yourself. Whoever was taking care of you when you were a kid isn’t there anymore. The seven-year-old in you is gonna think that means you can eat ice cream for dinner and stay up till 2am every night. Don’t. Do. That. You’re gonna need to be your own mom now. Or, you can pretend my mom, the OG Space Mom™, lives in your head and lovingly judges your life choices.

Question the things you’ve been taught. And when professors tell you to question the things you’ve been taught, question their questioning too. But don't question things forever. You need to decide what you believe about things, 'cause otherwise someone else is gonna decide for you.

You don't have to choose certain classes (or even an entire major!) just because they line up with your interests. For example—I tried taking a poetry class. Hated it. I didn't like having my creativity cramped by assignments, and I didn't learn anything I didn't already know or couldn't learn on my own.

Don’t feel pressured to date in college. I didn't date anyone (yeah, I know, you're so surprised). Sometimes I felt like I was being left behind, 'cause I saw so many of my friends get into relationships...but, I saw some nasty breakups, too. Things happen when (and if!) they're meant to happen, so there's no need to stress about it. You know?

Try new stuff! Yeah, it sounds cliche. But I let my roommate drag me to the gym when I was a squishy noodly boi, and now lifting's my thing. You never know what you might be into!

Always keep the big picture in mind. Sure, it may feel like the end of the galaxy when you flunk an exam or fail a class. But do you really think you’re gonna care about that when you’re like, fifty? Nah bro. Keep it chill. And sometimes that even means dropping out of a minor or an honors program, if you look into the future and realize it won't really make a difference.

Don't do deathsticks. If anyone offers you deathsticks tell them to go home and rethink their life.

That's all the advice I can currently think of, though I'm always happy to share more from my infinite (not really) stores of wisdom! And thanks for your advice, too—those totally sound like things Fannie would be into.

Thanks for reaching out! You're gonna do great at college, little buddy!

#askbensolo #written #:') hiii #thank you for saying hi! i'm glad you've enjoyed this blog!

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ask-cinnavanillamelody · 3 months

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So I wanna vent, about something really quick, and then we'll go back to our regularly scheduled programming.

I like, hate. College. I hate it, I hate the premise, I hate that they're bleeding me for money, but most of all I hate the people. If I could do college with 5 other people and we all had our own rooms I think I'd like it more. It started snowing today, and the campus is covered in snow. And if you know anything about me, I hate the cold. I hate being cold, I hate being outside in the cold. Because when it's cold, it's guaranteed I'll probably get sick. I'll get chills, the flu, a cold, something.

I wanted to go to a college in North Carolina, but they didn't accept me for an art program, so I ended up at my current college in small-town Pennsylvania. It's cold here, in the winter. it's so goddamn cold I don't want to go outside. I shouldn't go outside. And lucky for me I don't have to go outside because I have everything I need, inside, where it's warm, and I won't die by slipping on ice.

But apparently, my roommate thinks I'm STUPID for calling one of my co-workers to see if my job on campus would still be open. When I could've just "Walked outside to see if they're open" and "It's not that cold". FIRST OF ALL the air outside has to be a certain degree to even freeze the water in the sky and make it dense enough to fall out of the sky in the form of snow. in other words, IT HAS TO BE COLD, TO MAKE COLD WEATHER, AKA SNOW. And I left my warmest coat back home by accident, so I'm even less guarded against the cold weather. And I'm also anemic, it doesn't matter how many fucking layers I put on, I can still be, (and usually am) cold. She wouldn't let me explain why I don't find it necessary to go outside in the cold when I can just as easily find out the information I need by CALLING SOMEONE ON THE PHONE. Yeah sure she may not be here on campus, however, this probably isn't the first time the school's shut down because of weather, she would probably know if the school job that we both work would still be open. Which she did, and now I know whenever the school is shut down, my job is too.

I started to raise my voice because when someone insults me, the natural reaction is to defend myself. And when someone repeatedly interrupts you in conversation, wrongly assuming you're done and continuing to invalidate your feelings and emotions because THEY think it's STUPID and you're being DUMB AND IRRATIONAL about weather you aren't used to, their argument being "You have to get used to it at some point since you live here now"

Technically, I don't actually live here. I don't have a permanent residency here. I can't vote in this state. I live in a warmer southern state. My home is in another state. I am "living" on a college campus. But in the next 3 years? I'm not going to be able to live here. I don't stay here during the winter and summer. I go HOME. I FLY TO ANOTHER STATE. Technically I don't HAVE to get used to shit. I can get my degree, and move to fucking California where it doesn't ever snow. And I can hate the cold all the same. Because it's my right to not like cold weather, yeah I complain about it, but I know it's something I have to deal with. That doesn't mean I have to "learn to get used to it" right now just because you fucking say so. And you don't have to fucking call me stupid and illogical every time I don't want to go outside. That's rude. You can think it, but you don't have to say it. I'm seriously starting to rethink my friendship with this person because we can be fine and friendly, and instantly jump into an argument fucking 5 SECONDS later. I don't want to even live with this person anymore, I'm just dealing with it because the alternative is living with someone I don't know.

UGH IM SO PISSED OFF

anyway, rant over. Now we return to the regularly scheduled programming. 🍫

#rant post #vent post #anger #roommate trouble #rethinking friendships

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lume-nescence · 2 years

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A Dream Never Meant to Transpire

Jean x Gn!Reader

summary: jean, a woman drowned in her work. watching over the city, running errands, all of that. she seems to be a diligent woman, taking great care of the citizens of mondstadt. all of this, but she forgot one important thing

an: okay, i shouldn’t be consuming sad songs so much because they somehow shove a brainrot down my throat. i was listening to a mashup between glimpse of us and pluto projector and i haven’t recovered ever since. i love you jean but this brainrot is holding me hostage,, this has been benched for quite some time because, again, angst fics hurt. but i know in the future i may write more angst fics so i should be strong for that jshjahiahi (took some time to look at her lore for a bit and it fits even more with this concept im going to cry)

pronouns: you/your

song inspo: glimpse of us (joji) x pluto projector (rex orange county)

genre: angst, oneshot

cw: not proofread, mild spoilers of jean’s story??, argument leading to breakup :( (apologies for any inaccuracy in regards to her lore!! and for future uploads this aligns with those as well!!)

You crept down the streets of Mondstadt, slowly making your way to an area where nobody could hear or see you. You looked around to double check if nobody’s where you are and once you’re set, you sighed to yourself.

“So much for the city of freedom.” You looked down at your left hand, opening it to a palm only to close it into a fist. With gritted teeth, you slumped yourself down onto the grass; tears threatening to spill. You feel your throat burning.

“Why did it have to end this way? Why’d you have to..” You didn’t have the heart to finish your sentence. You know Jean; she’s a busy woman. Having to devote herself to Mondstadt is a big responsibility. Even as far as helping people in need despite it wearying her out. Well, the people are in her hands now. And they all rely on her.

She’s the Acting Grand Master, the Dandelion Knight. Dandelion Knight; a title to symbolize Venessa’s legacy. A title passed down from generation to generation. And Acting Grand Master, an important job given to her by the previous title holder Varka due to an expedition. Though, it was a big responsibility given too easily. But even so, Jean longs to be an honorable swordswoman, to be able to fight for her people with bravery. So she holds these titles close to her heart. But why not you?

Why didn’t she hold you close to her heart? This question spirals in your head. You rethink the events that happened before you chose to walk out and isolate yourself from the world for a while.

Finding yourself in front of Jean’s office you’re excited to see her again. You’ve missed her so much and you were just told the news that she’s back from a commission from afar and is currently residing in her office.

You being too excited to see your girlfriend you opened the door to be greeted with a Jean with her head down in tons of paperwork. Her not expecting any visitors shot her head up to see you.

“Y/n..? What are you doing here?” She groggily asked.

You closed the door behind you and walked towards her desk. “To come visit you of course. You look exhausted again.. What did I tell you to not overwork yourself to the point you’re about to fall asleep on the spot?”

You see Jean look to her side. “Well, it has been very busy lately. And I have told you that I have bigger responsibilities to be dealt with didn’t I? Nobody can do these besides me.” She responded, with a hint of apathy laced within it. Had you not listen carefully you would’ve never noticed it.

Your eyes widened. Not once had your girlfriend respond to you like that. She’s usually kind, her words as soft as a cloud. But now it’s different. Words classifying as a lightning bolt that they’re able to strike down countless fluffy cumulus clouds.

“Huh? What’s up with you today? I didn’t mean to sound insensitive at all I was just trying to help you.”

“There’s nothing wrong with me.” She sighs. “You have nothing to worry about, dear.”

Now you start to feel taken aback. You do have something to worry about. It’s her and her overworking self!

“Oh I do have something to worry about.” You slammed your hand onto her desk, startling her awake to face you with widened eyes. “It’s you! Do you not have the time to be with me anymore? Because you’re so latched up with your duties you start to forget about me?”

Jean rises up to directly look at you. “Y/n, I have a city to look after! Don’t you see? This isn’t some ordinary errand. This is a duty I have to strive for to my fullest extent! If I do this carelessly, who knows what’ll happen to the citizens.” She replied, raising her voice.

“So you mean you don’t care about me anymore?” Jean froze. “You have your priorities mixed up you know. Need I remind you that we’re. in. a. relationship. I spare time to be with you, but you haven’t done the same for me. I have the effort to come down here to see you and no matter how many times I’ve tried to get you to take a break you don’t. I was happy to see you. Every time.” Your voice started to crack and you looked down on her desk with all of her papers scattered around.

“I know you’re trying to ensure the safety of this city but,” You looked back up to see her with an agitated expression. “You seem to forget your end to ensure our bond to be in good shape.”

You turned away, walking away without saying another word. As much as you hate to admit it you don’t think you can continue to stabilize the relationship by yourself. Besides, Jean pretty much has the whole city on her back. So this was a good decision, right?

“Y/n! Please wait!” She reached her hand out to you but to no avail you didn’t look back. All you did was say the following words:

“I’m sorry, but I think we should stop right here. You can continue to muse yourself in your paperwork or whatever. I’ll not disturb you anymore.” And with that, you walked out the door and closed it behind you. Leaving Jean in her thoughts.

She didn’t know how to feel. She could feel an unnerving amount of desolation thrown upon her after she saw you leave.

Jean slowly sat down on her chair until bringing her hands to massage her temples. Closing her eyes, and visualizing what your relationship with her would look like without any worries in the world.

She could see a glimpse of you both sitting underneath the tree in Windrise; feeling the winds flow through. Happily chatting away to pass the time. With no work to be done.

Jean would do anything to make that happen in real life. But unfortunately fate isn’t on her side. Not today, not now.

She opened her eyes and looked at her shelf of romance novels. Her eyes widened and she got up to take one out of her shelf; ignoring the paperwork. She looked at the book with tears in her eyes and held it close to her chest, hugging it.

She dreamed of finding a partner she could call hers, to be at peace with one another. To be in eye contact with her partner as flowers dance around them. To be holding their hands and be safe just by the intimate action.

This could’ve happened if Jean took atleast one day off. If she weren’t this busy, you wouldn’t have left. If she made time to be with you, you would’ve been delighted. If she wasn’t a hardcore workaholic, she would’ve spent more time with you.

But the sad reality is that there’s nothing she can do to change the past. And after your departure, the damage’s been done. The cherry on top.

All good stories have to end somehow, be it good or bad. But alas, Jean got a bad ending to her own romance story. An ending she never wanted in the first place.

#✏️ lume writes #genshin #genshin impact #genshin angst #genshin impact angst #jean gunnhildr #jean x reader #jean gunnhildr x reader #jean gunhildr x reader #genshin imagines #genshin impact imagines #genshin fanfic #genshin impact fanfic

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aita-blorbos · 9 months

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AITA for replacing a coworker who hasn't even been fired yet? I will preface this by admitting that I won't be upset if I am dubbed the asshole, as admittedly, I myself am starting to rethink my current career choices. So for context, my coworkers and I were selected for a special project. I don't think I'm at liberty to publicly disclose anything about the company we work for, or said project, so dear viewers, I apologize if I sound vague. Anyway, me (Adult, NB), and my two coworkers, who I will call Mr. K (Adult, M) and Mr. W (Adult, ???), were selected by a company that specializes in harvesting resources, such as oil and lumber, but it also branches out into all sorts of other fields, and we were told upfront that we would be the front line of defense against some strange animals that had been attacking us (that's another very long story- the short of it is that these animals are ridiculous, and have set out to destroy us all because our society can't take a joke. Or something along those lines.) I knew from the start that we'd serve as replacements for our coworkers, but I had assumed that they'd already been fired. I should also note that per the contract, we had to have our shells modified to resemble our predecessors and provide us with new means to defend ourselves against these animals. Which I know sounds odd, but I didn't think much of it at the time.

However, here's where things start to get a bit... difficult. The co-workers that we're set to replace, at least for Mr. K and Mr. W, are still employed under the company (I'll call them Mr. C and Mr. B). And they've made it very clear that they know that they're set to be replaced, and understandably resent us for it. They've encountered each other multiple times, on and off the clock, and while Mr. K and Mr. W insist they have things under control, I think they're handling it very poorly. In the sense that it almost always devolves into a fight, and frankly, I'd like to avoid that kind of workplace drama. As for me, I think the co-worker I was set to replace has already been fired... although I have heard rumors that he's been kidnapped by those animals and held captive in some kind of medieval dungeon??? Which is... I can take replacing someone who's already been fired, but someone who's absent because he's imprisoned? I don't exactly think my conscious can handle that.

So AITA here? Or well, is my team the asshole? Mr. K seems to be focused on impressing Mr. B, and Mr. W is as much of a brash jerk as ever, and gets into fights with Mr. C to prove that he's "better than 'im." But as for me, I'm starting to have my regrets. I'd quit if I could, after all, I could always fall back on my old hosting job, but given that the Chairman frequently threatens us (he says if we mess up, he'll demote us down to screws, which... if that means that I think it means, we... might also be in mortal danger.), quitting is easier said than done.

#aita #am i the asshole #unreality

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saralutra · 1 year

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Ich habe 22 Mal im Jahr 2022 etwas gepostet

Das sind 22 more posts als 2021!

18 Einträge erstellt (82%)

4 Einträge gerebloggt (18%)

Blogs, die ich am häufigsten gerebloggt habe:

@saralutra

Ich habe 21 meiner Einträge im Jahr 2022 getaggt

Nur 5% meiner Einträge hatten keine Tags

#our flag means death – 21 Einträge

#ofmd fanart – 21 Einträge

#ofmd – 21 Einträge

#ofmd edward teach – 21 Einträge

#ofmd stede bonnet – 21 Einträge

#our flag means fanart – 20 Einträge

#ofmd ed x stede – 20 Einträge

#gentlebeard – 20 Einträge

#ed ofmd – 20 Einträge

#ofmd art – 20 Einträge

Längstes Tag: 27 characters

#our flag means death fanart

Meine Top-Einträge im Jahr 2022:

#5

Currently I don't have much time for more canon Our Flag Means Death Fanart. But an idea on Twitter kept my mind jogging the "Our Flag Means Death Otterverse", where the cast are otters or other forest critters. It's silly little fun in between jobs.

Vollständigen Eintrag ansehen

63 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 17. November 2022

#4

Hi again Tumblr. I heard, that you did some rethinking about policies that killed you in the End. And I will see if it is worth to revive my account on, respectively start anew with one dedicated to all kind of art fuckery.

Speaking of fuckery, here is a Fanart of Ed & Stede from the show "Our Flag Means Death"

71 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 3. November 2022

#3

Okay, the question is, how sexual is sexual that it requires a label? I find this drawing of Ed and Stede intimate, yeah. They are nude, yeah. They certainly had some fun together, yeah. Still have fun reading and chatting away. So it's suggestive, but nothing I would hide away from children? But I am a bad role model, as I flipped through my father's Playboy's as a child.... Did it harm me?! Uuuuh....

143 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 15. November 2022

#2

Pirate Otters on the run. Originally, it was just an announcement for followers where else to find me, when the Bird-app goes completely tits up. But the drawing of Stede and Ed galloping through the snow on their little otter paws turned out to be so cute that I share it separately.

153 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 11. Dezember 2022

Meine #1 des Jahres 2022

Two pirates simply cuddling. I am a sucker for all things soft around these two.

159 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 12. November 2022

Hol dir deinen Tumblr-Jahresrückblick 2022 →

#tumblr2022 #Jahresrückblick #Mein Tumblr-Jahresrückblick 2022 #Dein Tumblr-Jahresrückblick #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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nezoriy · 2 years

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hey guys

first of all, i've got some new followers, glad to se y'all, whether you're here for ukrainian or for valvert stuff, you are most welcome, don't hesitate to pop up in asks or messages or idk

пропіарюсь відразу квір українцям: я мрію про славу українського філософітьюб (ну або контри...), тому для початку я завів тікток де розповідаю українською про всілякі релевантні штуки (поки що здебільшого квірну історію і історію мистецтва але власні хоттейки теж будуть, так що якщо це ваша тема то чекніть seymour.zorya)

next, i wanted to give a quick life update

i'm 3 weeks on testosterone, yay! i've actually gone rogue and neither have the appropriate healthcare support nor i came out to my parents yet lmao but honestly living in a war puts the things into perspective. i just can't wait anymore. and honestly although there're no visible changes so far (except for me being horny, especially for a person on an aroace spectrum, and constantly rethinking my orientation lmao) i'm really really happy i'm finally doing it. i'll face a lot (and i mean a lot, our current system for medical and legal transitioning isn't very fun, although it's mostly up to money and waiting times) of shit down the line, sure, but yeah. i'm ready to do it. i finally feel like i'm doing something with my life. like i have the second chance to make everything right. that's an important feeling when you can randomly die whenever

also for the last couple of weeks in kyiv and most other parts in ukraine we have these fun times when we have electricity (and pretty much any kind of internet connection) for 5-12 hours a day, which is... going as well as it can. on the one hand i'm honestly kinda already used to it? on the other between my natural procrastination and executive disfunction and not having the electricity in the hours during which im most productive it's really hard to get any work done. sometimes i honestly just lie on the sofa with my eyes closed. so i shifted to mostly nocturnal lifestyle (like, even more than usual. electricity and internet are more often than not on after the midnight) and also if i'm honest i'm going slightly mad (tm) and coping with it in unhealthy ways but like.. whatever i'm alive i have some friends and a job and manage to draw sometimes and considering we have like up to 80 rockets fired at us a day i definitely count this as a win

#stas in kyiv #укртумбочка #укртамблер #український блог #українцівтамблері #квір #queer #trans #trans man #transmasc #ukraine

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luxurybrownbarbie · 2 years

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Hi Barbie,

Asking for some professional advice: My manager is currently what you would call a level 10 micromanager. I mean highlighting and red marking kind of manager on everything I do. When my reports are giving to the director, I rarely receive extensive corrections. And she reports to him! This is kind of my first professional job and I said I’d give it a year, however 7 months in and I’m rethinking the whole endeavor.

Good news is my team is dismantling due to client off boarding before the new year. Hoping to switch to a new role under a reasonable manager in a role Im more passionate about. I just don’t know how much more of the persistent micromanaging I can take until then. I don’t want to take it personal but at this point it’s hard not to. For background an internal transfer at my company is more ideal than leaving entirely but I’m afraid her report of me will be less than stellar so I’m kind of in a dead lock. Any advice would help!

Hi babes. 👋🏽

It is difficult not to take it personally, but micromanaging is not about you or your work, it’s about her. She might have had a boss in the past who was obsessed with little details and drove her crazy, and now that’s the management style she uses because she doesn’t know much better. You shouldn’t take it personally unless you’re the only one she micromanages this way.

What is your relationship like with her outside of the micromanaging? Is she a kind boss? Do you have regular catch ups with her, is she someone who is invested in your development? If your professional relationship is solid, it’s hard for me to argue she’s doing this maliciously.

You mentioned this is your first professional job, this might be another factor in her micromanaging. It’s likely she’s just trying to make sure you understand and are focused on all the details. The director also might not have as many corrections because he’s not expecting to need to correct small things when they reach his desk. Directors are looking for big issues, things that might cause risk and liability in reports and things that pass their desks.

Have a chat with her and express how you feel. Say you’re happy she’s so focused on your output and development, and you’re grateful, but you’re starting to feel a bit demoralized by always getting things back from her and they’re all marked up. Ask her if there’s a system you guys can have with regular check-ins so you can work and present/discuss the outputs in a controlled and consistent manner. As a manager, she should be receptive to the discussion and be willing to adjust her management style. If not, make sure you have it documented and find a way to stick it out for a few more months. Put feelers out for new teams and managers who have a style more compatible with your work style. Good luck!

#answered #corporate Barbie™

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sortagaysortahigh · 2 years

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Yall im finna keep it a stack w you, i use tumblr as an outlet to get away from the bullshit around me, i will definitely be here reblogging things ab the current state of america and youre welcome to come talk to me and vent but if you see my shitposts and think omg lex doesnt give a fuck ab whats rlly going on, literally just rethink that statement. Im a political and social activist and have done this shit since i was 15, when i wake up everyday i have to face the reality of being a black and hispanic woman in america, i have to constsntly check in w my friends and family to make sure theyre okay and theyre alive. Ive been to marches, protests, ive gone to DC ive spoken to legislators and lobbyists, ive worked with multiple nonprofits and quite frankly i dont want to sit on tumblr where i post 20k fanfics ab fictional characters and feel like i need to educate yall on what’s happening around us.

i simply do not want to dedicate every second of my life on tumblr arguing w right wingers and crying about the stress im in bc of whats happening in the US. I’ve received an anon that literally asked me to post something ab whats going on and truthfully what the fuck do yall want me to say? Like im not tryng to sound like a cunt but nothing i say on my multifandom blog is going to change whats happening in America. It is not my job to educate anyone who is ignorant to the issues at hand. If we are friends then ofc ill answer any of your questions, but im not gonna sit here and pause my entire blog and make twenty five long posts to educate yall because you dont want to educate your fucking selves. It is not my job to educate anyone who has access to the internet, its simply not. You can do research and look into people, you can have a biased or unbiased perspective, you can look at legitimate sources or f*x news for all i care, but do not expect any of your black and brown and/or afab blogs to spend every dying moment of our lives talking sb what’s happening. Its fucking exhausting.

#long post

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priestichor · 10 days

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im just having a moment of appreciating my life but like it is genuinely getting better. i do legitimately like my new job, i am going to be frustrated and overwhelmed at points and rethink it but it is an entirely new process to me. i really enjoy it at my core. i'm going to start going to the gym with some of my best friends and finally work my body strength. i'm very confident under the labels i use for myself. i might experiment more with pronouns and other names, but i AM lilith. my current dream is to work myself up to where i can function even better and properly take care of myself (at least the best that i can as a disabled person), and if i do that, i'm going to get a tarantula and name her helena... i would LOVE to keep one. i know that they don't bond much with humans, but i want to make her so comfortable and live a happy little life with me and all of my quirks

#text

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sigmavan · 1 month

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haven't been here in a while. my life's been a little up and down? i guess that's how you'd class it anyway.

last time i was here, my parents nearly broke up. that was, terrifying. they're fine now, but, the whole situation has just really made me rethink a lot about my home life. about how i view my father, my mother, my sister, if i even feel safe in my own home, everything. it's dug up a lot of trauma reactions and thoughts that i didn't even think i had. it's a lot.

the reason of why i don't trust my parents enough to tell them anything. why i can't do anything in the house while anyone else is home. why im so reluctant to share things, to do things, to exist. guess it all boils down to them.

but, i've been becoming more independent, so that's a bonus. buying my own things, looking for work out of my own time rather than being forced to, saving my money, existing in my own right.

i guess it's a little sad that i can't rely on my parents to help me with anything, but that's fine by me. at least if anything does happen i can get out with not much issue.

also, i've got such an incredible loving partner, & some amazing friends that have been such a great support group for me. if i need anything, i know where to go. i know who to trust.

anyway, currently feeling bad because my dad walked into the house while i was working out in the living room. i couldve kept going, but the sheer anxiety and embarrassment led me to just hole in my room. i had washing to do. can't do it now, i guess.

got work tomorrow. need to find another job. need to sell some clothes & get money. need to go see my partner next weekend.

song of the day: dirge- statues https://open.spotify.com/track/7AId793d23i2DedStawuOY?si=1bac657a04fa4feb

#e diary #digital diary #vent

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what-youd-expect · 2 years

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*falls in and slams on the floor*

I NEED TO KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS ON THE SKELETON GUY FROM THE CHRISTMAS MOVIE

anyway uh jack skellington for c, e, f, q, t, and y?

Alright here is yo food fellow

Jack fan!!

(For a little context Jack is DEFINITELY a borderline switch)

C for Chase!:

As a Lee Jack would definitely start by slowly backing away while most likely bable and plead before you go in for the attack. Almost always something along the lines of "w..wait y/n! pl..please rethink this!" Now with jacks spindly legs he is pretty fast. Put if you can somehow manage to do it you can topple him over with just a squeeze to the ribs causin easy pickins! He may have a 50/50 chance of getting away but if you dont wanna let him go just yet, then the cycle just repeats itself.

But as a Ler, OHOHOHOHO Is it a different story when you're the Lee. Again referencing the top text, Jack has long legs and can run pretty fast. If your running you most likely will be caught 100% of the time. You'll be l scooped up into his arms or on his lap and he'll just go to town on ya! But if you're hiding than that's a different story. He may be the king of all scares but he has a hard time if you hide really well. Just make sure the hiding spot isn't a dead giveaway, or you'll wish you'll be dead all over again. All and all Jack is pretty ruthless when it comes to being the chaser.

E for Expression!:

Jack hasn't been tickled alot ever since he was a just a kid. So he doesn't really know how to express when he's in a Lee mood only Sally can understand when he wants it. Especially when he's overworked by his job as king. When he's a ler he actually make it so that he perilously makes sure to annoy you throughout the day. Squeezing your sides as you walk past him, blowing on you neck and ears while your looking down or just straight up attacking you unexpectedly you honestly never know what his next trick is. He's one crafty king!

F for Fight!:

You DEFINITELY do not want to get into a tickle fight with this skeleton. He'll definitely give you a run for your money: those long boney fingers can do so much damage not to mention the endless onslaught of teases and jerks towards you. But if you switch places he immediately starts to sing another tune trying to get away in anyway possible! He babbles like a child and begs for mercy all the while cackling his signature pumpkin king laugh. He'll definitely try and win the battle but usually he gets tired almost immediately causing a draw.

Q for Question!:

When Jack is asked the mighty question "Are you ticklish?" He will immediately shut his mouth and become flustered with a deep orange shade (I know he's a skeleton don't fuckin judge me) He'll obviously lie poorly through his teeth...lie poorly and then immediately regret doing so as soon as you start to skitter your fingers onto him. He hates being caught in a lie when it's about how ticklish he is. Because he knows in the long run he's going to regret ever saying anything.

T for Teasing!:

Jacks favorite way of teasing his Lee's is that he likes to start hovering his fingers over the area he wants to tickle and start verbally teasing. "Im gonna tickle yooooou~" And stuff like that. But when he desires to be the Lee in the situation he doesn't really have a discrete way of showing he wants it. All I can say for certain is that only Sally really knows when he's in a mood.

And finally

Y for YOU!:

Honestly yes I do have my fantasies about both Ler and Lee scenarios, (as one does) but I'm currently in the process of writing a fanfic about one of my old tickle monster ocs (that I revamped a while ago now) catching Jack and tickling him. I won't spoil much but it may be a little long and wordy but it's still in the editing faze. I won't spoil alot but I'll say that I'm currently happy with it and how it's being processed!.

So stay tuned for that!

So thank you for reading this long winded reply. Once I do more of these I'll gladly make them shorter.

Thank you for the ask! @skeleton-of-a-lesbian

#wye discusses!#wye rambles onward!

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willowisbunger · 3 years

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God Im Sorry (A tapeworm clef fanfic)

Before we begin. This is all for jokes. I am so sorry for anyone who has to read this. Its also just a draft and will be complete at some point. For now enjoy what little I give you.

You find yourself resting on the couch of your dearly beloveds bed quarters. You scroll through your phone looking fondly at old text messages of when you and your husband to be's first text messages. All the ridiculous nicknames you two exchanged, all the flirting, photos, and various other things you two have sent to each other over the years. You couldn't help but giggle. You find it hard to believe this all started cause you decided to help some weird blonde guy with a ukulele out with his broken leg.

You two have been dating for almost 8 years and two months ago, the man, Dr. Alto Clef. He took you on a date. Just a nice simple stroll around the woods, which ended in a nice picnic by a river. In which you saw the man you have fallen head over heels for, get down on one knee and began plucking at the strings of his ukulele. Singing a sweet melody like a song bird in the spring, before pulling out a wedding ring and asking those simple words of "will you marry me". Your heart flutters with glee as you chuckle. You feel giddy and so over joyed with happiness. Right as your giggle fit calmed down you heard the front door open, and there stood your beloved. With a wide grin on his face as he held some folders in his hands. He had a doctors appointment that day since he had been feeling strange. With his face showing his usual bright beaming smile and his three beautiful eyes showing their usual mischievous gleam, it was clear that he was in more than perfect shape.

"Heya there pumpkin. I'm home. And I've got some great news." He spoke in a raspy slightly southern voice. At first it was grating on ya, but now its like all your favorite songs combine into one incredible tune. "Welcome home sweetheart!" You chirped as you ran up to your beloved teddy bear to give him a quick peck to the lips as you hugged him close, "What's the good news teddy? I can tell from that big dumb grin of yours ya got somethin real good to tell me. What did the doctor say?" You said as you affectionately pinched his cheeks causing him to laugh as he took both your hands to hold. "Well besides me being fit as a bull. Looks like I'm gonna be eating for two from now on."

You blinked and tilted your head in confusion, slowly processing the information as you stepped back a lil. "How? Babe I never top and we always use protection. Who-" "Oh no pumpkin. I ain't pregnant" He interrupted, chuckling as he ruffled your hair. "I got a tape worm. The doc took some sonograms of my stomach to see if there were any issues and yeah, there's a lil fella in there. Look." The blonde handed you the folder, which you opened and began reading through and your face turned pale at the sight of the tape worm in the photo of an ultra sound. You gagged a lil as you shoved the folder back into clefs arm. "Babe that's not okay!!!! That's a parasite!!!! Its gonna just keep reproducing and shit and its gonna fuck up your insides." You said quite loudly, usually you were quiet but this, this was making you quite distressed. Your fiancés face turned from a smile to a disappointed frown "I thought you would've liked clef junior....".

You stood baffled at the situation before you. Your dearly beloved, just, accepting and seeming to be happy about the fact he has a god damn TAPE WORM living inside of him. You've seen some shit in your days working for the foundation. A sheet of music that makes people go bonkers and try to bleed, Kondraki -clefs ex- ridding on god damn 682, and other shit that would boggle anyone's mind. But this. THIS RIGHT HERE. Just.... Leaves you speechless. "Pumpkin?" the third eyed man spoke in a concerned tone, which rarely came from him. "Are you okay?" You held your head in your hands as you sat back down on the plush couch and just took a deep breathe, and just as quickly as you sat down you sprung back up, grabbing your jacket and zipping it up. "Babe.... I just.... I need a moment.... I'll be out for awhile.... This is just, strange even for you and I need a moment to think about this." You sped walk past your -potentially ex- husband to be to the door. You shut the door, seeing Clef's face look uncharacteristically sad at you. It hurt you a little to leave your teddy bear like that, but you still needed time to just, think and process this whole situation.

You leave the housing area for researchers and quickly the site as well. You hail a cab and as soon as you enter the bright yellow vehicle you tell the faceless driver to "Take me to the nearest motel." Which he happily complied especially with the hefty tip you gave him. You just, Needed awhile to think and god knows how long that could be so you may as well rent out a room away from that hell site foundation to have a clear mind. After all who knows what might happen. Fucking Dr. Bright could tell you to give it a chance and raise the worm together with your teddy bear or some shit. You never know with this job and the people you worked with. While in your thoughts you rented out a room, room 105. Great another reminder of your hell job, even though it was just the simple numbers of 0 and 5 you can't help but be reminded of your faceless higher ups and the fact you work for them.

You found your room and quickly made your way inside to flop down on the bed, beforehand making sure to put up the "Do not disturb" sign and locking it. You burried your face into the hard cheap pillows of this motel, missing the one you had back at your place with its soft textures and the scent of your beloved.... Which once again brought you back to the worm. That fucking worm. Why the hell was your husband so keen on keeping it? He's at least some form of scientist he should know that tape worms are a dangerous parasite that affect your health. You stare up at the popcorn ceiling just, trying to wrap your head around WHY. Why would your partner; your future husband; the one who knows everything about you and you know everything about them.... just why are they keeping the tape worm?

You of course knew the stuff your teddy was known for, sleeping with that statue after a date, killing a dangerous reality bending child, father to 166 (who you were honestly happy to take in as your new step daughter). Out of everything. The tape worm makes you break. Makes you rethink your relationship with the man you've been dating for years at this point. All you can do at this moment is sigh, hearing the phone in your coat pocket buzz. You pull it out and set it to "do not disturb" as you set the device aside on a night stand. "Maybe I should sleep it off. Maybe I'll have a clearer mind then...." You say to yourself as you threw your coat off and roll onto your side. Feeling uncomfortable in your current clothes but you didn't pack a bag so, you just ignore the discomfort until eventually.... You drift off to sleep. The shallow hum of power surging through the building and the busy city outside envelop you as you feel unconsciousness take over.

While in your state of unconsciousness you hear a silky smooth, deep yet gentle voice speak to you. "Y/N... Y/N its time to wake up Y/N". You slowly awoke, opening your groggy eyes, what laid before you, you didn't know. They had a handsome chiseled face, comparable to the statues found in ancient Greece with even a similar tone of white marble. They had thick luxurious hair that went down to their waste, rippling muscles that went down both torso and back.... They were ungodly white though. And didn't have legs. You stared at the bottom half and slowly processed what you were looking at..... A fucking tapeworm man. A fucking humanoid tape worm what the fuck. "Im going back to bed" You said as you laid on your side, and tried to ignore the hallucination.

The tapeworm creature, slid over you just to get to the side you were facing. You shivered feeling it’s disgusting body wiggle about. You close your eyes tightly as you did your best to ignore it. You could feel yourself holding back even more shivers as you felt their cold hands touch your face. “Y/n…. Look at me…. I just want to talk.” “And I just want to be left alone and not think about tapeworm men trying to seduce me while I’m contemplating breaking up my engagement.”

#alto clef #tw parasites #scp foundation #joke fic #shitpost #please end my suffering #crack fic

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ceruleanskies · 3 years

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I'm not hatin on you or anything, im all for it but why do you keep hating on white people? You are being quite offensive ngl

deep breaths, kai. deep breaths. i’m prepared to lose more followers for this. so let’s discuss this ask, shall we?

i could go on and on and on about the different microaggressions or racist stereotyping I have experienced as an Indian (common culprits are ‘where are you REALLY from?’, ‘you’re so pretty for an indian girl’ or, in terms of stereotypes, the ‘indians all run pharmacies and smell bad’ and ‘all indians have poor english’ [i speak gujarati at home fluently and am learning both spanish, hindi, mandarin and korean, excuse me if my english is not perfect] which probably require another post altogeher) but I’ll keep this focused on what you were probably referencing; my post about white mh activists not uplifting POCs.

there is a distinct difference between being offensive to white people (not racist, offensive. you cannot be racist to white people as white people have never historically been marginalised, nor has your race ever limited any opportunities for you. the dictionary defines racism as: prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism by an individual, community, or institution against a person or people on the basis of their membership of a particular racial or ethnic group, typically one that is a minority or marginalised.) and pointing out the faults in a system built specifically for white people, by white people; a system that still refuses to give POCs the same privileges as white people. were you offended by me saying that white mental health activists should uplift and give platforms to POCs who suffer from mental illnesses instead of talking over them?

Generations of systemic and institutionalised oppression and racism by a system built for white people by white people to benefit white people warrants some kind of frustration, doesn’t it? if you’re offended by someone pointing out the flaws of almost each and every system in society, (I’m quoting Hank Green here), ‘that’s probably because it’s messing with a power structure that benefits YOU’.

this got long, so read under the cut.

time and time again POCs are systemically oppressed in every walk of life. be it in the justice system, the medical sector, hell, even in the job market... speaking of the job market, i bet you didn’t know that the University of Oxford conducted a study that sent out around 3,000 false job applications for all kids of jobs; their study found that if you’re BAME (black, asian or minority ethnic) you have to send out 60% more job applications than your white counterparts. if you would like to read the study, you can find it linked above.

as @fruityutas said, black women are twice as likely to die in childbirth than their white counterparts in the US (in the uk, it’s a fivefold higher mortality). seeing as it’s current, let’s discuss covid-19, shall we? if you’re a POC in britain, you’re more likely to die from covid-19 than a white person.

think i’m making this up? have a look at what Public Health England have to say about it.

“An analysis of survival among confirmed COVID-19 cases shows that, after accounting for the effect of sex, age, deprivation and region, people of Bangladeshi ethnicity had around twice the risk of death when compared to people of White British ethnicity. People of Chinese, Indian, Pakistani, Other Asian, Black Caribbean and Other Black ethnicity had between 10 and 50% higher risk of death when compared to White British...”

“...The relationship between ethnicity and health is complex and likely to be the result of a combination of factors. Firstly, people of BAME communities are likely to be at increased risk of acquiring the infection. This is because BAME people are more likely to live in urban areas, in overcrowded households, in deprived areas, and have jobs that expose them to higher risk. People of BAME groups are also more likely than people of White British ethnicity to be born abroad, which means they may face additional barriers in accessing services that are created by, for example, cultural and language differences.” (2020) Assets.publishing.service.gov.uk. Available at: https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/908434/Disparities_in_the_risk_and_outcomes_of_COVID_August_2020_update.pdf (Accessed: 18 January 2021).

or, alternatively, if you’re sick of hearing about covid, how about the fact that the NHS is slow to respond to health problems that disproportionately affect certain ethnic minority groups? POC patients that require treatment for hepatitis B, myocardial infarction (heart attacks), hypertension and diabetes have to wait longer despite having similar symptoms to white patients.

sick of the science? how about we talk about the fact that doctors from BAME backgrounds are less likely to be promoted to consultant posts in the NHS than white doctors? BAME doctors are also more likely to experience bullying and harassment as well as face more complaints and disciplinary actions.

Now, let’s discuss what i’m guessing prompted this accusatory ask; the disparities in incidence of mental illness in BAME communities versus white communities. Compared to white people, black women are more likely to experience anxiety disorders or depression, south Asian women are at a higher risk of suicide and black individuals are more likely to be sectioned under the mental health act in the United Kingdom.

From ‘rethink mental illness’:

“…People from BAME backgrounds told us that some of the barriers they face when accessing mental health care are:

cultural barriers where mental health issues aren’t recognised or aren’t seen as important,

language barriers

professionals having a lack of knowledge about things that are important to a person of colour or their experiences,

white professionals not being able to fully understand what racism or discrimination is like,

lack of publicity of mental health support and services in some communities,

stereotyping. For example, some white people think that black people with mental health issues will get angry or aggressive, conscious and unconscious bias, and

stigma about mental illness in some communities stops some people of colour seeking help. They can feel ashamed.”

White people will never be able to understand what it is like to be a POC, just like how a cishet person will never know what it’s like to be LGBTQ+ . Comparing the experiences of a white person with that of a POC is like comparing apples and oranges (I group POCs together for the sake of argument; of course I, as an Indian experience privileges that a black person does not experience).

In spite of the greater incidence of mental illnesses in BAME communities, white people have an easier time accessing mental health care than us POCs. coming back to the argument that white people will never be able to understand racism and cultural issues that can lead to mental illness, which, as i’ve said before, is looked down upon in POC communities coupled with the notable lack of BAME therapists and psychiatrists means POCs who have the luxury of accessing therapy will more often than not have to discuss their issues with someone who will never be able to relate to them.

but i was offensive to white people because i said white mental health activists talk over the already-suppressed voices of POC activists. okay.

#ask #anon #tw racism #ok to reblog #1k words is nowhere near enough to even scratch the surface of racist issues in western society #and this is only from the pov of a south asian

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eirian · 2 years

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yknow what while im here and my thoughts are a-flowin im gonna ramble abt life for a minute, i’ll put it under a cut for ur convenience

so some of u who follow(ed) my twitter may have known that ive called with my biggest art inspo (and honestly mentor at this point) stephen silver on multiple occasions! i try to do it every few months or whenever smth big happens irt my career path and art

well over the past few calls hes helped me come to the conclusion that perhaps breaking into the animation industry as a character designer isnt quite for me, at least not right now. this was after i had taken his advice and become a live caricature artist a couple times, one of which being at six flags, and that job took the life out of me after Two Days because of the amount of moving parts i had to keep up with (including time cards which was a lot of math) and i guess my ~autistic ass~ couldnt quite handle it. so having that in mind he suggested that maybe i should rethink the animation industry bc its also a lot of work like that that i have to keep up with, yknow?

so having said all this, where im at currently is trying to make a career out of just being a commission artist online! so far its worked out pretty well ^^ ive made rent every month since starting (thank you!) and while it can be stressful and draining especially near the time rent is due its also very fun and fulfilling and definitely way less stressful than an industry job would be. so im pretty happy with where i am currently

the only issue is that the stress of making rent every month comes from how i kind of Barely make rent usually. like, i’ll make enough to have about $30 over rent each month, give or take. and that doesnt really feel good :( id like to treat myself every now and then and like..buy items.....and treat my fiance to dinner and gifts and such. yknow, luxuries (and even fuckin essentials sometimes, thank god we’re on food stamps at least). but thats really really hard to do u_u so im gonna try to do more this year to help with that, be it raising prices more or figuring out how to get my commission info to reach more people

anyway stephen also looked at villain + school and said he loved the character designs and could see it being a netflix cartoon bye im dead

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bonvoyagenoona · 2 years

Note

“Hobi’s eyes set into thin lines. “Then I guess I’ll stick with this hot chocolate.”

Yeong-ja looks apoplectic.

“Relax, I’m going with you,” Hobi replies begrudgingly.”

you know what i think

i came across this tweet the other day that said something along the lines of

“growing up i realized that most people don’t marry for love—they marry someone they at best tolerate for comfort or financial stability and shit which is why you see so many heterosexual married couples hate each other looking so miserable, what with their weird relationship memes like ‘hApPy stuck in prison aNniVeRsArY’ or weird jokes about hating their own spouses/kids… also the reason why the depiction of lovey-dovey couples in the romance genre is seen as unrealistic and a fairy tale”

and you know what… i agree with that tweet.

hoseok and yeong-ja’s relationship is one of the many examples of what most heterosexual couples are like in real life.

not to say that there ARENT straight couples who marry for love—but they’re rare. this is why non-hetero couples always get weirded out by the weird memes made by straight people about hating their own spouses/being ‘trapped’ for life once they get married.

you’d think in the big year of 2022, marrying for love is the norm… but no.

this is why i just don’t think i’ll ever get married. i refuse to settle and let myself be miserable. if im to marry, i will marry because im head over heels in love with that person.

“but… that would be unrealistic”

EXACTLY. PLEASE REFER TO THE TWEET I WAS TALKING ABOUT.

Oooh, I FEEL YOU! Absolutely!! I have some thoughts after the jump if anybody is interested, but 🎄 PDG Anon, just wanna say thank you for sharing this. It means a lot.

You've said it all already, but I want to share more context around what that looks like in my life because it so directly influenced the fic!

If you know me, you know that everything I write about is extremely personal. Whatever Y/N is processing, I am also processing. Whatever the boys are experiencing, or however they're reacting, I am experiencing and reacting that way, too.

So, in 2020, when my job announced that they would be allowing remote work, I jumped at the chance to get to move back home and be with family, especially my aging parents. I had moved away for the job because the opportunity was too good to pass up, so this adjustment in our working environment means that I finally get to have the best of both worlds. I no longer have to sacrifice my personal life for my work like I had to do the entire time I was in grad school, and when I began my career in industry. I now get to shape my time how I want. I now get to live where, literally anywhere, I want. I get to move forward in the direction I choose.

I'm not gonna give that up for a smile and some, most likely, weak dick.

This general opportunity to rethink my approach to life has extended into my approach to relationships. I have a group of girlfriends who are moving back or have recently moved back home as well, and we're reconnecting. In our conversations, though, come all those same questions that many heterosexual women have to face: When Are You Going to Move Out? When Are You Going to Settle Down? When Are You Getting Married? When Are You Going to Have a Baby? They ask like it's such a dire situation. And I've always thought it interesting that the questions come from not my parents, but from my friends.

Out of a group of seven (huh would'ja look at that), I am the only one who is pretty set in my nontraditional(?) ways. I like to leave room for the future, but right now, I am very happy living at home, I am not currently dating, I am not seeking a partner, and I do not want kids.

The questions that I get in that group sound, to me, like means to ends. My friends even say so; some of them have chosen relationships because they want to have babies NOW. And some of them do. Some of them have chosen relationships because they want to be partnered rather than single. Maybe they just cannot stand living at home with their immediate family. And I get that. But they seem to have trouble grasping that I actually feel quite fulfilled in my life and do not tend toward the same choices.

I like my space and independence. I'd rather be alone than be with someone I feel lukewarm about. If I get married, I'm going to marry someone I love. Someone I want. Someone who (borrowing this from a fantastic conversation I had with The Shenee!) "exists alongside" me. Not a spouse. Not even really a "partner"? But a fellow traveler. I wrote about this in The Road to You through my characterization of Yoongi. And I'm writing more about it here in PDG. This is why the galaxy imagery is so important to me and so scattered throughout the fic.

There is one friend in my hometown group who seems to have a similar outlook --- marriage, for her, would have to be a significant value add, in ways that are not traditional or means to ends. At every hangout so far, I've kept relatively quiet, but she's shared things like, "Look, it all boils down to: I really, really, really, really, REALLY have to like the person! And I haven’t met someone I really, really, really, really, REALLY like!" She still seems to want companionship, so she dates. But I seem to present some sort of threatening challenge: Can't a person be whole by themselves? Can't a person, or a couple, be happy without kids? Do relationships have to be so strained and torturous all the damn time?! Where are the questions really coming from?

And where am I going with this? I don’t know. But I guess I wanna say that I hear you, 🎄 PDG Anon. It’s so refreshing to talk to someone who feels the same way. It seems like we're cut from the same cloth. I wanna echo things you’ve said. It's only unrealistic to marry for love because we make our own realities, and we as a global society still just happen not to do it the majority of the time. Don't get me wrong -- I have met many, many couples who are in healthy, loving relationships borne out of this starry-eyed kind of love. But for the majority, marriage is still very much a remnant of a means to an end. A way to get out of the house, to start a life, to have children, to have something of your own. There are laws in some places that still forbid many people from marrying for love just because their love is deemed inappropriate for whatever reason. And it is your comparison to non-hetero couples that hits home the most. The love between full-grown adults who have had to fight the world -- that is some of the purest, most active, most lovey-dovey love I've ever seen. I will only link my life to someone if there's an inkling of a feeling that I'll get close to that, and even if I never feel that, well... I already feel so lucky and happy with my life that everything that comes after this is equivalent to the peppermint shavings, graham cracker dust, marshmallows, and whipped cream in a mug of hot chocolate.

Phew!! And that's not even half of what's in the fic! I didn't even get to tell you about the guy from high school I reconnected with and inspired some of the thoughts about how we are perceived, and how you never know how someone might see you, or feel about you. 😉

Always, always so grateful when anyone reads with me. Because, when you read with me, whether you know it or not, you really are getting to know me.

And 🎄 PDG Anon, thanks for commenting back! I feel like I've gotten to know a little bit about you too, and it's so comforting to know that we're all out here, traveling and experiencing it all together. 💜

#asks #your asks #project dream girl #🎄 Project Dream Girl Anon #AMAZING.#you write stuff and you put it out there and you wonder if someone hears you #feeling incredible. thank you.#bts fanfiction

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