#im crying all day and its not a joke

[brainworm61]

oh. this symbolism in their backgrounds..

and shot's change

armin is a blue sky that symbolizes hope. just as eren said. armin is the only hope for humanity, "the one who will save it"

so, like the sky and the bird, they will truly be together forever 💙💚

#armin and sky in the background even in manga 84 chapter #soulmates 🥂 #eremin poetic cinema #im crying all day and its not a joke #eremin #aot #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #snk #armin arlert #eren yaeger #aot s4 #snk s4

[livsmessydoodles]

shenanigans

#all of these are inspired by stuff i put on my bingo slots #especifically big ben jokes/benji bestfriendism #yaz still drawing #BOYS!!! DAY!!! OUT!!!! #aaaand someone crying (other than me) #maybe if i draw them hard enough ill manifest them happening in the show #ITS HAPPENED BEFORE OK!!! IM TAKING MY CHANCES HERE #i have some more i plan to draw soon so. be on the lookout for that lol #jwcc #jwct #jurassic world #jurassic world camp cretaceous #jurassic world chaos theory #camp cretaceous #chaos theory #jurassic world: camp cretaceous #jurassic world: chaos theory #darius bowman #ben pincus #kenji kon #yasmina fadoula #yaz fadoula #sammy gutierrez #yasammy #benji jwcc #brooklynn jwcc #(implied) (kind of) #my art #livsmessydoodles #livsmessydoodlez

[skitskatdacat63]

Fernando Alonso & His Relationship With Cards

I'm sure we're all familar with the cards on the back of Fernando's Vegas GP helmet by now, but did you know his relationship with cards goes a lot deeper?

I. Magic Tricks

You've probably seen or heard someone at least mention Fernando's propensity for card tricks. As far as I can tell he was doing them(publically) as far back as 2003 all the way to as recently as 2018. Even once performing a card trick, with a condom and a teddy bear(!??!?!??!!), in front of Valentino Rossi who said "How was that possible?"(x)

But how did this start? According to James Allen, "Fernando admits to having been heavily influenced by his grandfather, a mercurial figure, who taught him magic and card tricks, still one of his passions away from the race track."(x) And I'm not sure the validity of this one, because I couldn't find an actual source, but apparently he once said: "My parents are responsible for the two things I like doing most - driving and magic tricks. They bought me my first go-kart and a magician's kit."

In several interviews he described it as his hobby off track, and that he loved learning new tricks and surprising others in the garage with them! So clearly cards are pretty important to him both as a hobby but also to who he is as a person since they've been with him just as long as racing has.

II. Card Symbolism in His Helmets

This is the reason I originally made this post, but I thought I should also explain the origins of his card fascination first. As I said, we probably all remember the cards on the back of his helmet in Vegas, but did you know that wasn't the first time he had cards on the back of his helmet?

From 2008-2013, he used to have a pair of cards on the back of his helmets. The symbolisms of the cards themselves as well as the evolution of their design is really fascinating to me! Even more so with the recent development of the card choice in 2023.

Fernando said he wanted to reference his two titles in some way on the back of his helmet and after his friend sent him several ideas, he decided on having two cards(an ace of clubs and an ace of hearts, sometimes pictured with 05 and 06 on them as well), saying: "I picked the cloverleaf [the ace of clubs - Ed] to give me luck, but the only pity is that it doesn't have four leaves!"(X)

2008.

Here's the very first appearance of the cards! They're displayed flat, with the 05 and 06 clearly visible

2009.

Very similar to 2008, but with a slightly different design, and they're maybe a bit more straight with less shadow?

2010.

This is the first major change! I was sad they didn't have the years on them anymore, but then I realized they're sparkly to match with his signature lightning bolts on the top of the helmet!!

2011.

Honestly I'm still somewhat unsure if this is the actual 2011 helmet? It's pretty difficult to find clear photos of the back of helmets from older seasons. It's easiest to find them on replica sites or auction sites so I'm not 100%? But anyways, I like that this has the championship years on the underside of the cards

2012.

This is when I started getting weirdly emotional about the helmets. Do you see how they've progressed from being a centerpoint to being curled up and sad at the bottom of the helmet? Not listing the year anymore??

2013.

Same thoughts as 2012. And after this season, they cease to exist (just like his ferrari chair in the garage, WOAH CALLBACK), until cards make a reeappearance in his Vegas helmet, albeit in a different form

2013 Monaco(Honorable Mention):

For some reason 2013 helmets were easier to find proper pictures of, so I happened to witness this absolute beauty. The creativity of this helmet genuinely blows me away??? Wanting to keep the card motif, but making sure to incorporate it into the rest of the puzzle piece design?? Mwah! There was another special 2013 helmet but they didn't change the cards at all so I really applaud this one

2023 Las Vegas(The Return of The King):

The magnificent return! But look! The cards are different cards! Instead of being two aces, it's now an ace of hearts, a four of hearts(his driver number of course!) and, the, now iconic, representation of himself as a Joker. I literally could not believe my eyes when this helmet was released and I saw the Joker card, what a fucking silly old man....I really wonder if he felt nostalgic having cards on his helmet again or if he didn't think about it all and was just like, "ah cards because Vegas!!!"

III. Why Does This Matter?

*The rest of the post was factual, this is moreso my personal thoughts on the symbolism of the cards/designs

This post spawned from me recently watching the 2010 Bahrain gp and noticing "hey wait a minute...are those CARDS ON THE BACK OF HIS HELMET!?" It's a really tiny detail that's unfortunately covered up by the HANS device pretty much whenever he's wearing the helmet, so it's really difficult to spot! But I became fascinated with the fact that he had cards on his helmet before that recent helmet, and now here we are!

There's something to me about how the design of the cards evolves over the course of six seasons from the cards being front and center to being smaller, more folded up and closer to the bottom of the helmet. As I said, the 2012-2013 ones genuinely made me depressed because it feels, symbolically, like his hopes for getting another Ace are becoming more and more unlikely and falling away until they eventually fall falt and fade away entirely after 2013 and disappear for basically a decade.

But when they return? They're not the same cards! Instead of representing Fernando's championships, they now represent him as a person, displaying his driver number and his persona of being a Joker!! Though I do think it's interesting he happened to keep the Ace of Hearts, even though he talked more about the Ace of Clubs before. I'm not sure it's actually this deep in reality, but I like to think that it's him not letting his championships(and the lack thereof) define him, but rather letting who he is as a person shine and be the centerpoint instead! But on a sadder note, as @suzuki-ecstar said to me, maybe the Aces aren't there anymore because he's lost all hope for a chance at a third Ace entirely :(

#yes its finals week and im up to my eyes in coursework but instead decided to spend like 5 hours researching and writing this post #nah bcs i actually genuinely put more work into this then I think I have all semester dsfjdskjg #that thing about him using a condom and teddy bear in a magic trick genuinely had me crying with laugher. actual tears rolling down my face #<- HOW!?!? WHAT WAS THE TRICK?? its literally inconceivable to me what he did. oh if only there were pics UGH #anyways!! this post was a lot of fun to make!! i really really love the symbolism and design of helmets so this was a rly fun project #and i also went down a lot of rabbitholes while make this and saw many very weird articles from yore #i feel like i make an equal amnt of deranged posts abt seb and nando but i dont know why nando is gifted w all my well researched projects #<- i.e. chair post. that was the same level of research as this one but at least this one i could find actual sources about.... #idk theres smth about the extremely long history of nando's history that evokes research posts like this KLAJSLSKDJ #theres just so much that i dont think I ever really see people discussing! so i must create. #haha what was that joke tag i wanted to make abt my researched posts? I think: #normal posts that catie normally makes in a normal fashion #<- one day ill go back and actually tag posts w that. bcs the amtn of research compared to my actual schoolwork is so unwell #fernando alonso #fa14 #f1 #formula 1 #catie.rambling.txt #we do a little bit of f1

[heartslobbf]

the thing about rgu episodes 35&6 is its just like...... everything is veering towards a car crash but more than usual. and everyone is more aware of how car-crashy things are going to get than usual, but its like. no one is like ‘hey what if we didn’t get into a car crash though’, or if they are, they’re expressing that sentiment in the worst way possible (shoutout anthy and touga). you have so many tiny and horrendously fucked up moments in those episodes like juri saying utena ‘looks like a girl now’ and making miki consider whether or not that’s a ‘good’ thing, or utena falling asleep at the table with her earrings as anthy just Watches, or the scene where touga holds a carrot in various initially amusing and then promptly emotionally devastating ways as both he and the audience make a series of crushing realisations neither of us are totally comfortable accepting

its like. throughout all of this acknowledgement of ‘hm. this is bad’ everyone is filled with inaction. we are all trapped in our coffins!!! people are prosing but that’s about it. all of the student council know who end of the world is, and they don’t tell utena. im not blaming them for this because its masterful, compelling writing that serves to elevate the show and its themes, but i am pointing it out because what’s endlessly relevant in utena analysis is recognising when characters make choices that ohtori frames as a natural progression or event that is immutable. anthy and touga voice wow i cant believe at least one person has to die at the end of this duelling game, which we like have to do btw. yeah. what do you mean this is all constructed and therefore can be dismantled. oh my god im going to kill you what the fuck. i dont want to kill you. i dont know how else to get you out of this situation. guess ill try and remove you from the system, thereby proving it is a structure that can be left behind and undermining my fragile worldview ive believed to have kept me ‘safe’ all this time. why are you guys talking about coffins so much omgggggggg shut up shut up shut up

#one day ill write my essay about anthy and touga and their dynamics w nanami and utena. bc it makes me BONKERS #i mean generally one day ill write my anthy and touga essay bc its like. god im so autistic #theres a reason my pinned post is anthy's 'betrayal' theres a reason i have probably watched eps 35&6 the most #theres a reason im obsessed w aou's symbolism ESPECIALLY in the movie manga actually #anyway normal normal normal (lie) (am thinking about birdcages and eggs) #remember in episode 11 when touga was like hey anthy one day im going to own the key to this birdcage that youre in. and its like #touga. touga youre in the birdcage too rn #touga kiryuu will be like if a chick cannot hatch from its egg's shell it will die without being born 10 minutes later me and the coffin <3 #and then u have anthy loml anthy the character of all time..... cannae even make little jokes about her arc bc its like. Oh #have u ever killed something good for u just to be certain ure the reason u can no longer have it.......... #have you ever died and been dying over and over again have you ever been so numb and yet so angry. so bitter. so resenting. #everything the same over and over and over again. and then something changes a bit. wahhhhhhhhhhhh #i PROMMY i am normal about anthy himemiya (i cant think about her without crying) #revolutionary girl utena #rgu #shut up daisy

[iftitah]

.

#the more i stay around people the more i want to become like them out of spite #because i was so surprised these people are at least 24-26 years age some even did a minor bachelor's before coming here #some have completed post grad and then joined #like aren't you all too fucking old to act that immature #i grew so resentful of everyone how they keep on doing the worst low man shit and then victimize themselves #hypocrites full of shit they don't want to hear the truth #i know no one has the audacity to take a fight with me on here because they know im the youngest here #not because im the youngest but because im better #the girls frown upon me because i don't hear their low mindset humorless jokes and pointo out where they fall short #oh [my irl name] youre so stiff hamesha kami kyun nikalti rahti ho hamesha baat kaatne ki aadat hai learn to take a joke #mazaak hi to kar rahe hain kya yaar #ive cried so many times because i feel suffocated here and out of hate i want to act immature selfish hypocrite too so i do #i become self centered and look into my needs #but everyday bcg shows me how one stays firm in mindset even amidst surrounding of shit people #he points out to me all the time when i start acting like them he says why aren't you trying to rise above #i say ham bhi karte hai na unn chutiyon jaisa behave kyunki unhe unhi ki language mei samajh aata hai #achha ban kar honest banne se kuch nahi milta yaha #but he knows his stuff #he never does these things #however much i let evil thoughts take upon i get astounded everyday how he's practicing his rightful his honesty even tho no one's looking #it makes me want to cry #i hope he gets so ahead in life i hope he stands at the podium one day on a stage and deliver speeches where people actually can see him #like he sees the orator that come to attend our unis gatherings and says everytime kuch to baat hoti hai inn logon mei #i hope he achieves whatever he wants i hope he gets ahead of everyone all this fucking corruption #its not that he's done anything that im applauding he tries his best #and maybe teachers see that too all in class they're only looking at him and teaching they know #do you know how fucking hard it is not get corrupted in this uni and become one of those assholes that have done things unimaginable #im inspired everyday ill try my best to be like him #i do not just want to praise him i want to become someone he doesn't have to say fir tum bhi vahi karogi to kya farq reh jaayega #kuch bada nahi hota logon ki roz roz ki choti choti aadaton se pata chal jaata hai vo kaise hain

[leadersguilt]

CAN WE JUST? CAN WE JUST?

#out of. #not to go insane but. first picture (sans connie) is picture of my brain every day. jean and reiner have been my main boys since 2018 and #honestly? seeing it all animated. seeing whats happened im so (woman who knew what was coming still finds herself crying #i literally watched the last 45 mins of tht with tears in my eyes so migght have to rewatch it #anyway much love to jean the man with the LOOKS #the fact that reiner is now smiling despite everything hes been through #them all managing to joke despite their lives on the line #the ending seeing it again rlly hasnt hit me rn but all i can do is just (weeps) #theres a lot to discuss but lord am i still processing it #jean looks so good. he even looked good as a titan ITS NOT FAIR #spoilers /

[saeshiraw]

tired girl hours i’m just ranting bcos i don’t have enough time to cry

#tw rant #studying med is no joke. ik it was gonna be a commitment n that it wasnt gonna be easy n i thought i was prepared but im not #its my passion. i love what im studying and ive dedicated myself to this path but i just. its so hard n i just want to cry. everyday feels #so tiring. morning to night classes. when i get home i have to read 4 chapters MINIMUM n the books are so thick + exams almost everyday #i feel worse knowing there’s this 1 girl in my friend group that cant decide whether she likes me or not. one moment shes complimenting me #n asking where i get my outfits or my nails done or my earrings or whatever then praising me that i probably study the least out of everyone #yet still reach high student rankings but its not that im lazy im just so exhausted n its hard to have motivation... lowkey envy how my #friends study minimum 4 hours a day. we’re all tired n sleep deprived. even taking 30mins to eat makes me feel guilty. cant even watch 1 ep #of an anime bcos ill be thinking about the amount of work to do. and i have sm plans. i wanna be more active and have a healthier lifestyle #but i cant find it in me to wake up every 5am to go to the gym when i just wanna get as much sleep when im lucky to finish my studies today #i also dont see my bestest friends everyday anymore. some of us move to diff unis or some in diff majors. i just miss them so bad it hurts #and i miss the girl i used to be when i still had time and energy to indulge in my hobbies. i miss playing genshin and writing fics #just when i got back to writing and enjoyed it LOVED IT i had to go back to uni. i feel terribly lonely even when im always with people #im afraid ill completely lose grasp of the little things that make me happy bcos the weight of my responsibilities are heavier #im afraid ill be too focused on success again like i was when i was 17 and forget that its okay to relax too but idk #and i wanna meet more people make more friends have new experiences. i wanna feel alive again. and theres sm i wanna talk to or get to know #but im so afraid of people hurting me or disappointing me or people getting to know me only for the friendships to fail or we’ll dislike eac #h other. i wanna date and fall in love again and experience the romance my peers have. i wanna have someone to call my own person but the fe #ar of having someone only to lose them someday scares the hell outta me. im not ready for another heartbreak so i isolate myself and watch #people from afar. uni gives me sm freedom to do everything else and form my own identity but i dont wanna be Perceived. I wanna be heard and #seen n connect with people. but w my curreny state idt i can handle being vulnerable with others. it feels so lonely that the things i want #are out of my rrach but idt i can manage my time to meet new people and make new memories. i console myself by shopping a lot and going to #spas to relax yet i still find it hard to sleep. im afraid im wasting my time. im not as brave as i used to be. im not as efficient as i was #i get older and more tired and while i never questioned if studying med was the path i want i do question what will happen next #“is this all im ever going to be?” im good at what i do but day by day i lose sight of tje girl who knew how to laugh n smile. ik what makes #me happy but i rarely smile genuinely anymore. im so tired and want to sleep for a long time but i dont wanna fail. i dont wanna be NOT good #but it makes me cry when i know i can do many great things but i dont feel loved. people compliment me but dont approach me bcos they say im #intimidating or that im too quiet in class. i wish i could tell them i wanna join their parties too or i wanna meet their friends n hangout #but what if it doesnt work out? what if i wasted my time getting to know someone id eventually regret? what if im the disappointing one? #the days are getting shorter but it always feels like a long day. im ashamed to admit i want someone to hold me yet refuse to have anyone

[caffeinatedopossum]

POV: an inconvenience happened to me but I'm depressed

#based on a true story #im not suicidal but the ideation is there #my depression is getting worse again because of course and i cant sign in to my minecraft account #so like i may as well die really #/hj i wish i was fully joking here but I'm not kidding there are very few things keeping from laying in bed and crying all day #and if i only lay in bed and cry for long enough i know what comes next #its less that my life is sporadically falling apart and im dramatically spiraling #and more just that little things are incrementally become slightly harder and more inconvenient #until nothing is worth it and i stop #im very tired i cannot do anymore #i am losing my patience with life

[garlique]

i don't know if my parents are actually nicer to me now or if i just have built up enough skin to not be as afraid of them anymore but like. why couldn't they be nice to me like this when i LIVED with them!!

#honestly its a big part of why i try to see them as little as possible because i KNOW #the less they see me the nicer they are to me #and like i kind of get it bc i moved so far away Every time my parents and i see each other its a vacation #and they dont have to put up w me every day anymore #but it just makes me feel so goddamn. hateable. you know ?? #my dad used to yell at me all the time for playing music in the kitchen while he was working #and like Not ask me kindly to lower the volume or anything it would just be Hey Kid Shut The Music Off yelled across th house #but now in our airbnb im playing music while hes working and i keep turning it down bc im Scared #but i can hesr him on calls and he hasn't said anything #like i GET IT !!!! I GET IT!!!! #its a lot different to put up with a kid for 10 days a year than it is 365 days a year #but do they really love me more now ?? why ?? and why the hell couldn't they love me like this at home #i just feel so goddamn annoying and hateable and stupid if my own PARENTS only like hanging out one week a year #and will the fear ever go away ?? ever?? #the last time i saw my mom in person she joked about how i used to be so scared of getting in trouble #i dont know why i was scared of her but i sure was !! terrifying !! #ugh okay i have to stop crying and be normal #rant over i love my parents and im so normal

[ghoul-haunted]

life really is like, wow! i am held together by a very worn out piece of tape. i will now overhaul my job resume. still gonna write this comic tho, bc it's taken up residence in my brain.

#i was not joking about wanting to quit freelancing lmao. im tired and sad!!!! im very upset!!!! its upsetting that my financial stability #can be fucked over by something as stupid as an out of date phone number with no alternatives other than to DM them on twitter #and hope they reply!!!!! i have done nothing but cry for two days over the awareness that everything is fragile #and ive picked a dying industry to work in #im even MORE sad that i want to stop doing all of this tho bc theres nothing i love more than making comics and art and even commissions #just just Feeling Sad and Feeling Bad compounded

[frosnpls]

MY FRIEND/BOSS IS QUITTING IM GOING TO FUCKING. COMMIT VIOLENCE

#HE WAS THE PERSON I HUNG OUT WITH AT LUNCH. WHO WILL I HANG OUT WITH NOW #HE LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY AT MY JOKES WHO ELSE IS GONNA GIVE ME THAT EGO BOOST #im killing. im attacking. he announced it in the afternoon meeting and he sounded like he was THIS 👌 close to crying #then he paused and then said 'its going to feel weird not coming here every day' SHUT UPPPPPP IM GOING TO EXPLODE THE MOON #fellas is it weird to ask for your boss's discord on the last day of work before the summer holidays. #going home for an hour. GOING to cry. then i have to go to a restaurant with him and all my other coworkers and pretend to be normal #for several hours #he is going to be drinking. he WILL cry #words.jpg

[todayisafridaynight]

Nooo the trans allegory is also a Big one for me in that song, but I know not everybody is about Trans Aoki so I figured it went well with his disabilities regardless. And like yeah blah blah basic whatever, idc y'know, I'm here to enjoy life so imma listen to music people don't like 😂🤣

But you're so real for the trans Aoki thoughts okay.... I love both cis and trans interpretations of the Boy bc he's fits very well in both categories. It's all just spice y'know!! You sprinkle some of this... Some of that... And tomorrow you make a new dish! Love moving head canons around for funsies

Anyway ty for validating my music choices 🫡 good luck charging your phone

i dont really hc charas any particular sexuality or gender since i always feel weird about it its called being BORING its what I AM but its the way i was playin y7 and just kept jokin bout it every time the game gave me a chance until the very last scene then i was just like.. hm... feels less like a joke to me now... its just what my eyes perceive at this point.. sorry...

but i got you covered with music choices man !!!! i like most music even if it can be considered 'overplayed' or 'generic' like idk man... if it makea me feel ima listen to it..

#snap chats #love how i forgot the Eyes lyrics to Body when it's deadass the first line.. STUPID ASS !!!!!!! #but anyways. yeah it been a hot year since i talked bout trans aoki LMAO #honestly if it wasnt for the fact i saw korean artists draw aoki with top scars (and specifying they were TS scars) then id prob just like #be quiet about it. cause most of the time i was just jokin like the whole injections bit and his voice being hoarse in eng #and nasally in jp... lol.... the jokes were being lined up for me... and then he went and changed his name #and got surgery that made him feel more at home in his body... LIKE THEY PROVIDE NON-TRANS REASONS WHY HE DOES THIS #I KNOW but thats why i just kept /jokin/ bout it cause i was like 'lmao' yk. Lmao congrats your accidental trans rep is republican #AND THAT'S WHY IT'S FUNNY TO HC HIM AS TRANS CAUSE HE SUCKS !!!!! i want more shitty people as trans rep #im p sure im the only one who 'openly' hcs him trans but not even. like i remember twitter was Allegedly mad at me for drawing aoki a lot #and they made a point bout me makin him trans but like... i never even 'publicly' made him trans.. #when i'd draw aoki without a shirt i'd give him scars but those were from his lung surgery.. lmao... #not my fault the scars look Like That... cause i like drawing scars leave me alone... #my DB followers know i was obsessed with drawing yamcha's leg scar from when his leg was broken #Truly just a coincidence but also not cause it Was lowkey intentional but anyways.. lol... #i remember the period where people were askin me bout the hc.. hehe... #My Apologies for going on the Trans Aoki rant i still do very much like to joke bout it with myself.... it was too real to me... #every time i think of The Specifics i start to get like 👁️👁️ because then it gets too real so i gotta stop before i start crying.... #it's not that the HC is personal or deep to me or anything it's just funny <- in denial for the bit #anyway.. i havent been able to be productive all day so !! time to start i have a really hectic week and its only getting worse (╯▽╰ ) #thanks for letting me ramble... and feel validated for being delulu... #lowkey funny that While True you said not everyone's about the HC Which Is True it's why i dont talk about it a lot #but like... Not To Be Presumptuous And Self-Important but i do remember being one o the first people to bring it up with other aoki fans.. #imagine me not being abot my own hc.. or at least one i stand heavily by... lmao..

[blueside-hobi]

.

#ive never called off of work the day of and its giving me so much anxiety #everyone always talks about how rude management is about it and how they try talking you into coming in anyway because we dont #have sick time and cant really call off #i dont know if theyre just being nice because ive never called off before so they know im not joking or if they feel bad bc my uncle #but one of the managers just texted back and said 'ok feel better.' #like i was fully prepared for them to call me and tell me i have to come in for at least one appointment and try to get me for more #like i am legit sick and disgusting but i was already mentally prepared for them to tell me im not allowed to call off #i feel a little bad that this means i might have to call off twice this week bc we still dont know when my uncles funeral will be #but like #i deserve some fucking time off #i went to work like 6 hours after seeing my dead uncle and just spent the day crying all over my clients #so i dont want to spend today coughing all over them #i want to go back to sleep but im also still nervous one of the managers will call me to tell me i have to come in or something #personal

[spacedlexi]

trying not to get my hopes up about andromeda being incorporated into the new mass effect but also 👁👁

#went back and rewatched the 2020 trailer with cc on this time and.................... #i shouldve done that 2 years ago........... #a 6TH ARK??? #like the initiative arks?? but there were only 5??? so wtf??? #the deliberate showing of both andromeda and the milky way in the first shot............. #i thought it was just a mean joke...like haha bye andromeda we're going back to the milky way now #andromeda has so much potential i am hoping so hard that they dont abandon it #but i dont want to get my hopes up #but also like a 6th ark.....theres no way they wont connect to andromeda somehow right.... #do you think theyll do anything with the 5th ark.... i dont remember much about the book except for the virus stuff #but since it shipped after the first 4...and those got out Just before the reapers hit...the 5th ark shouldve gotten caught up in it #the 6th DEFINITELY DID #ohhh man what if its the milky way learning about the existence of the andromeda initiative.... #bc the 6th ark got downed.... #but who tf wouldve been on the 6th ark i thought 'the rest' were all on the 5th #sorry to my followers that dont know anything about mass effect lol but im getting excited about n7 day #and every time i think about mass effect i cry about how much potential andromeda had #the theories i have.......shit couldve been sooooo fuckin cool #it speaks #mass effect

[unlimitedhorsepower]

i made preliminary plans to put my horse down in january today:( idk why im making this post i just want everyone to know about hippu and that she exists.

im so tortured whether its the right decision or not and whatever i mightve done wrong or not good enoug or if i should try something else and if the only person (the stable owner) i can discuss it with is right or not and its just way too much to explain lol

i feel bad about january too, because hippu was born during the summer, so to make plans to say goodbye to her during the coldest time of the year in the middle of the winter makes me feel sad. i wouldve at least wanted for her to go during the summer. but i suppose that only matters to me

heres some pictures i took of her today when i was keeping her company while she worried whether her buddy will also come in to the stable or not.

she looks so scruffy because shes changing into her winter coat. i called over to her and she looked directly at me and looked goofy.

shes my first horse and she will be my last horse too. someone laughed today when i said that (”thats what they all say, you always get a new horse”) but i know its true: its just too much money and time i dont have because im always so sick for no reason, its not even that i dont like horses or cant see myself loving a different horse as much, just the bleak reality im afraid.

once i wanted to be a pro equestrian, now were here, feels funny to think about.

#animal death cw - i guess. i dont know how content warning tagging works on tumblr anymore lol #for some reason my 2nd PC screen is on its last legs too and flickering etc lol #actually my life is going so much downhill. i dont even know what to say about hippu because i dont have anyone to talk to about her. #i dont know a lot of horse people and none i could talk about this and idk..ask for a different opinion or something. oh well. #im trying to make jokes right now but i barely even have the energy for that. im just really sad. #i genuinely feel like all ive done for the past month or something is cry and lately ive cried for hours every day. TMI lore about me lol #its just exhausting and theres nothing i can do about any of it. ahh... having issues with brain and money sucks so much what else can i say

[transfemlogan]

IDK yes ppl hate him 4 lame rzns & it should b talked abt but also i guys should. Spend time outside of the fandom. Maybe. Just bcuz someone calls thomas lame doesnt mean u should cry & piss ur pants over it

#exaggeration. emotions r fine its ok 2 b upset but if ur whole day is ruined bcuz someone hates on ur guy..... #u should. work on that! #& thats coming from a schizo who thinks hes 4 real dating logan & anytime someone makes a joke abt kissing him #he starts shaking & crying & freaks out . #all im saying is 2 take care of urself. ur gonna have emotions. make sure u know how 2 cope w/ them #revy.txt