#ill think of more later its fine.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

I Am Being Held Hostage. Send Help.

w/o text:

#in honor of pride month ending: these fruity mfs <3 #they won't leave me alone. i have not thought of anything or anyone else in days #i will be driving later and i expect to get so caught up in Them #that in going 80 down the freeway ill hit a pebble and my car will flip and explode in a brilliant flash of light. killing me instantly. #Joking. driving stresses me out too much to get even mildly distracted #scribble garnish #welcome home #welcome home puppet show #laughingstock #yk a week or so ago i was shipping them somewhat ironically #Not Anymore!!!! Yeehaw!!! #are they considered a rarepair??? im honestly unsure #i think so... ive seen more unprompted julie/wally or poly frank/eddie/howdy #ive seen No unprompted laughingstock #i have seen it featured in One fic #yeah its a rarepair. me and like. three other people will carry it tho its fine #ive got a strong back. allegedly. #Ohhhhh Shit #mr loverman by ricky montgomery just came on and its laughingstock. To Me. #I LOVE THEMMMMMMM

[stupidrant]

looking at this dlc and the content it has makes me re-think everything now LOL i think whats gonna happen soon (im not sure maybe summer-winter 2024 or sometime in 2025-26?) is that theres gonna be a full atreus game announced (or possibly released???) and im here for it!

I was thinking it might be a POV switch majority of the game like ragnarok but now im feeling like this dlc was released in regards to making that atreus only game 👀 Im ngl im a little nervous about it due to “those” ppl, plus idk how sms is gonna handle him, angrboda, etc but we wouldnt truly know until they tried right? This doesnt mean kratos wouldnt be in it or never playable again (i dont think thats smart anyways tbh) i just think atreus might actually have his own game mostly with him playable and i wouldnt mind at all. Im sure his gameplay will be more flexible since hes traveling and his experience is building up and will show as well

#Idk what do you guys think? #everybody is pretty scared abt gameplay whereas im more concerned abt story and characterization tbh #i have to put more trust in sms as time goes on im just anxious af 😭😭 #i also have character theories i might post later but for right now ill sit on it until i feel its right #i rlly hope for summer-winter 2024/early 2026 since gtasix will come out 2025 & i dont think its smart to release anything that year lol #but if it is 2025 thats fine too #Atreus #loki #Gow #gowr #gow ragnarok #god of war #God of war ragnarok

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#tis i! tragic daughter one of three! #motherless at age 26 #the last wake was today and this was more fun than the 1st. more casual. my moms childhood friends were there #ans it was fun to catch up with my uncle and his side of the family #i feel so weird tho. bc ppl r asking how we r and like genuinely i feel fine most of the time #like my sister is like: i sacrificed so much for my mom and i saw her downslide into death #and im like yea i fucked off to [redacted state] and showed uo after the horrible part was over #and bc im finally on medication i really feel better than i have possibly ever. so its just weird #weird to br at my mother's wake and think: god ive wasted so much fucking time being miserable. i dont want to do that anymore #and i feel like thats an option now. i mean ill always be frustrated by the same things. the difficulty reading and focusing #and the lack of social ease. but it feels like less of a big deal now #i say that now before im entrenched in school again. but idk. its just weird #but idk i love my mom but there was distance there and i have weird insect brain which i think makes it hurt less #i dunno. maybr ill feel it more later. when im on my own again #its just that i never reached out to her. i didnt realy on her and she didnt reach out to me so now things won't change much #i dunno. well see #unrelated

[fencecollapsed]

[whacking myself with a newspaper] stop being wishy washy about having a hatchetfield oc in public, stop cringing at yourself be free

#i was thinking about this last night mfjskdn i think i have two versions of him partly cuz im. embarrassed dksmfn #like if hes not Just a hatchetfield oc its more acceptable for me to post about him?? if i post about the non-hatchetfield version #i dunno #i need to stop doing that #i think im gonna drop the Original Version for a while #i wanna do things with it later on i have a lot of ideas ill come back to it later #but for now i should just let him be what he is hes my hatchetfield oc he doesnt need to be Two Things #its not embarrassing for him to be an insert oc its fine im just not used to it dkdksmfn #dont mind me im psychoanalyzing myself #cj says stuff

[dare-g]

We've been watching JoJo for the first time 8 episodes in and idk I feel pretty indifferent about it?

#i know the series are supposed to vary quite a bit from the first so maybe the popularity is more for the later stuff #like just watching the anime alone it seems hard to imagine that this alone could be so big #but in reality i know theres the manga readers to account for #its not even like i hate it i just mostly dont feel much at all atm #i do laugh occasionally less cause actual comedy more so at the nonsense fighting moves coming from nowhere #and ill admit it does have more gore than i thought it would which was a surprise #but like i just think for a fighting anime it lacks in comparison to others #like some fighting anime drag sure but this is like way too fast like theres not enough stuggle jojo just defeats guy after guy so easy #also i think its weaker on establishing character than other animes even fighting ones #like they hammer in dio is evil jojo good but thats like it #but again only 8 episodes in and idk what im in for #its fine enough to put on fir now and maybe itll grow on me im curious enough to keep at it at least

[gifti3]

happy bday to me! 🎂🥳🎉

for this very special day i wanted to list and compare the presents and interactions i got in the mobile games ive been playing consistently lmao

under cut cause the pics are big

Time Princess A letter with 10 golden tickets, 100 stamina, and 10000 coins

Obey Me! Nightbringer 1 UR+, UR, and SSR Joker each 3 Demon Vouchers 30 Karma Points 200 AP 30000 Grim 50 Devil Points Along with a bday video, birthday calls from the characters throughout the day and a UR guarantee for a 10 pull There's half-off on Devil Tree unlocks There's also special birthday dialogue in the Surprise Guests: -- the first Surprise Guest I did gave me 30 more Devil Points -- and you can press anywhere on the boys and get max hearts :]

What in HELL is Bad They haven't implemented bday stuff yet so nothing (´。＿。｀)

Twisted Wonderland A Happy Birthday from the character you have set as your favorite card and a Tenfold Key Set (for rolls)

and last but not least.....*drum roll* 🥁🥁🥁 Love and Deepsace! Special Happy Birthdays from each guy which include them singing happy birthday to you :3 Birthday Dialogue on the home screen Presents from each one (items you can use to decorate their desks) 500 Diamonds 5 Empyrean Wishes 1 Bottle of Wishes: SSR 1 Energy Capsule: Powerful And 2 birthday stickers

#so whb is technically in last place but since its a newer game ill let it pass this year #so time princess is next in line for last place #its a fine gift but since they dont have any characters saying happy birthday it doesnt do much for me #nightbringer kinda surprised me! #i was expecting a call and some devil points #but this is a lot more then i expected :3c #also i go crazy for free UR+ Jokers #i was thinking of adding regular obey me but decided to skip it since i only really just log in for dailies for the most part #(and i dont even do that everyday if im not feeling it) #also theyre practically the same minus the calls (but i have the old ones that i havent listened to yet still) #twst was cute nothing too crazy #(thank you for ur presence lilia) #i liked love and deepspaces happy bdays from the characters a lot because they sang lmao 😭 #also i feel very special from them saying all this nice stuff about hoping that i get what i want and that i stay healthy and stuff dwsiiws #it feels like obey me has more in character interactions BUT when i think it about it more #deepspace has the models actually hand you gifts #also the moment you have with the characters feels more personal #but tbf theres more obey me characters and you do get those calls throughout the whole day! (also they give more stuff imo) #so i cant really pick which one i liked more :d #dutp #obey me nightbringer #twisted wonderland #love and deepspace #im now 26.... #oh jeez #long post #still doing the same shit i was doing in middle school uashusha (i mean playing dating games) #my personality has refined over the years tho #anyways im gonna celebrate tomorrow with my family :] #this is the end of my post tho ill probably post about the asmo phone call later

[mizzical]

practiced with shapes + drawing bodies

#danganronpa despair time #drdt #arei nageishi #teruko tawaki #hu jing #(not sure if i should color and/or do lineart???? if anyone wants me to then ill be fine with doing that later) #i do like implying visible shapes into my art. even though a lot of times its subtle (i think. though it depends on who im drawing) #i dont do shapes (and shape language) to an extreme like some of my favorite artists. i dont think id be able to pull that off #esp shape language because idk its kind of limiting to me #i decided to draw the girls in bikinis so then itll be more easy to see what their body looks like (ESP hu) #of course teruko's looking all cute and stuff bc she likes cute stuff <3. it was a perfect time to draw her lookin cute #its the worse time of the year to draw characters in bikinis like its literally fall now /j anyways #reason for me drawing them for practice: hu because she's plus size. arei bc shes skinny with more ROUNDED shapes. #and teruko because shes skinny (more closer to average-size?) but with SHARPER shapes. #the whole point was me practicing with round and sharper shapes so since i had been planned what shapes i wanted to use in their designs #these three were perfect for practicing!!! #im still kinda shock that arei is about 5'7...

[steampoweredskeleton]

.

Ignore

#delete later #i have three medical appointments in the work day in the next three weeks #one on Thursday then two mid/late January and i know that its good bc i need these appointments but i get so #anxious that ppl ay work are mad at me for having so many #im also scared about thirsdays one bc its for my ankle and hand pain and ironically the hand is way better and the ankle is also #more stable. something clicked again a couple days ago and fixed the pain in half of ky foot. no idea what happened there but #the click itself hirt like a bitch which is new. most of my pain doesnt start with a click and most clicks are painless #so fun #im just in a permanent state of being afraid i wont be taken seriously. my physio wanted a scan on my foot so om gonna #relay that but like idk what theyre gonna say. also if they do want to swnd me for a scan that's gpnna be ANOTHER appointment #so fuck me i guess. at the very leasy its not like severe psin any more so they wont send me to a and e for an x ray like they did #with my hip that one time. that would fucking suck to explain tp my manager #hey julia im fine but ive been sent ro rhe hospital for a scan so i guess ill be back when im back? #fuck me im anxious. and i hace so much apprenticeship work tp do i want to scream #also was distracted by my aching hands bc often they just ache abd successfully triggered myself so bow time to play what #is actual acge and what is remembered ache oh joy #one of the other appointments is gender clinic appointment abd im hoping to get referred for top surgery now ive been on t #for 9 months. waiting list gonna be like four fucking years but debating saving like mad abd going private bc jesus Christ #i cant bind bc of sensory problems and constantly aching ribs and last time i taped i ripped chunks of skin off so kinda #think i shouldn't do that again but like it sucks. not as bad now that my voice is dropping abd shit but still not fun #we'll see!

[skitskatdacat63]

Okay finally posting my pics from when I went to Hanger-7 on Saturday July 1st !!

RB9 🥹

STR3 !!!

RB16B

RB7

Various Red Bull-Saubers(including Kimi's first F1 car!!!)

Tbh I think seeing these cars was more surreal and insane to me than going to the actual race the very next day. I think it's because I'm more deranged about the 2010s than nowadays(for the most part), so seeing all these incredibly iconic cars in the flesh(especially ones like the STR3 and Hungry Heidi) was just unbelievable to me. And the fact that it's free entry as well??? Yeah yeah, feel free to waltz into our aircraft hanger, free of charge, and witness these spectacles of engineering 🥱

#as i said it was just super surreal to be standing next to those cars after seeing so many pics and watching so many vids of them #like ??? im standing next to seb's first gp winning car ???? #im standing next to seb's 2nd wdc winning car rn????? #(ALSO OMG SEEING BOTH MARK AND SEB'S NAMES ON THE RB7 HEHEHEHE FOREVER IMMORTALIZED TOGETHER) #im standing next to *the* 13x race winner 4th wdc winning Hungry Heidi rn?????????????????? #like the fact that they had (i think) 4 championship cars just there is insane to me #(also shhhhh i dont know which chassis they have obv so dont be like 'well actually!' to me) #no rb6 tho :( which is a shame bcs thats my fav rb car but god so many other favs so its okay #actually i think they had rb6 but in a different livery so i only have like one pic of it #but anyways i guess its also just more surreal than the gp bcs i was standing so close and getting to appreciate it all #whereas the gp was more of an experience and a really really insane thing to go to and experience rather than appreciate more finely ig? #but yeah do you guys like when i say ill post pics soon and then dont do so until 10 days later? #tbf i just didnt want to post them on the race wknd...but now its almost the race wknd again #btw they had some more cars. i think the rb10 and rb13? but the ones i posted are all my babies yknow #hahaha wait for my course we're supposed to write reflections(in german my god) abt some places we visited right? #and ill do them i swear i swear but like my brain was pretty useless at trying to write that much german while doing so much else #so the only one ive ended up writing was abt going to hanger 7 and how unglaublich it was and it was basically just a rant #omg also!! i have a pic w hungry heidi !!!! (and rb16b boycar ofc) #its so funny bcs basically until the day of i was unsure if i was going to see this alone bcs the guy who ended up going w me was unsure #so id just constantly daydream abt what it would be like to have to ask a stranger to take a pic of me with rb9 #but luckily my friend did! but god no way was i leaving that hanger without taking a pic with at least one beloved #red bull racing #f1 #formula 1 #formula one #rb9 #catie.rambling.txt #rb7 #str3 #rb16b

[lord-shitbox]

sigh

doing that thing again where i get miserable over the attention that i feel my art gets & I know the internet numbers are mostly "does this art align with a fandom i am interested in" and not 'is this Good Art' but also like. hardly anyone FUCKING talks or acknowledges my art in the one art server i'm active in & that's really discouraging + I put art I was really proud of in a really small art show/competition thing and didn't even remotely win, again. something about knowing the people im competing against makes it worse. there were only like 8 of us & I didn't win which sucks but I didn't even get an honorable mention either and that's WORSE. three out of fucking EIGHT won something. at absolute best that means im fourth out of 8 and i may as well kill myself at that point. (i acknowledge that this is unhealthy and abnormal thinking). what have i spent the last several years of my life doing? my self esteem is chronic dogshit so I pour everything i have into being good at a select few things so im worth fucking SOMETHING at least & theres absolutely nothing worse than not being good at those things. fucking dark night of the soul or whatever i dual-skill art & math so I have that at least but rn all the math ive got is really hard exam prep shit because the sink-or-swim everything-i've-done-in-the-past-two-years-comes-down-to-this exams are in a week. it IS rewarding to spend all my time on that but it's also pretty difficult & even less people are interested in hearing me talk about differential equations than about my art. FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! at least people think kabrugatory is funny jesus fucking christ.

gave myself a break day yesterday because I got the news about the art show results & i knew i would not be functional. and i wasn't but I at least managed to have a good day despite it which is good. fuckingggggg. hhrhghghdhghhdhgghg FUCK god damnit i cannot tell if I think my own art is good because there are objective good qualities to it or because im just fucking egotistical and insane and a massive idiot. i experience one rejection & start second guessing every good thing anyone's ever said to me huh.

#shitboxposting #i suffer from enneagram 5 disorder. this is fine my minecraft build project is going well so its fine. #ill post the pieces that did not win anything to this website later today probably. IG is really annoyng bc you have to maintain it to get #consistent 'reach' aka more than 10 likes. too mcuh fucking work and i need to not spend 90 minutes secondguessing an image caption #i am no longer miserable for the time being. will set out a task list for myself and go back to kabrugatory later #thank you guys for thinking kabrugatory is funny its motivating to maintain it. should also play ddr its been a long time

[irenic-raccoon]

If I made an IASIP self insert would you still think I'm somewhat sane

#plot twist i was never sane #yes id only make it to ship myself with a particular character I enjoy #Me and Mac r sharing idcccc #and what if i made said self insert idk a step sister of Mac bc Ive been told I kinda look like him #and bc i think it'd be fitting for the show if Mac later in his life met a step sister he didnt know he had bc his dad had an affair #aaand bc i think itd be rlly funny #like being a dennis/reynolds simp is just a mcdonald thing 💀💀💀💀 #<- I inserted the “/Reynolds” because i think itd be even more funny if like the mcdonalds fell for a reynolds at least once #im taking this way too seriously oops 💀 #do I even tag this #fine #iasip #its always sunny in philadelphia #dennis reynolds #mental illness

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#head instructor to the TAs in the lab section i TA for: how r u guys feeling abt the workload? #me who hasnt graded anything since week 1 and spent an hr that morning filling out a patient safety plan: 🙃 #listen. we r experiencing symptoms that make us shitty at our job. which is not helpful for a positive outlook #i was also experiencing horrible cramps at the time bc i lost my ibuprofen and 2 days ago i stopped the birth control in a desperate effort #to stop feeling terrible. but in this moment i feel alright. its wild to go from drastically unhappy to like lol wtf was that? anyway stop #being a bby loser. for no obvious reason. im gonna start the birth control again to see if i get depressed again or if that was just me lol #i dont think my therapist understands the depth of my executive functioning issues tho. bc im a grad student and can meet deadlines. like #let me tell u im a fucking disaster abt starting things. i will go back and forth and get nothing done forever. or i do things halfway and #make everything 30 times more difficult later bc no one else understands how my brain works #ah well. itll b fine. sometimes i just get freaked out that i wanna b better and i dont kno how to do that. so i spiral in despair a lil #ill b fine. im good at catching myself before i get too out of control. annoyingly tho i am not currently beating the bip0lar allagations #bc whatever tf is wrong with me i do probably fit the diagnostic criteria for bip0lar 2. i dont kno y that freaks me out so much. i guess #its bc it feels like something i cant just make better thru force of will and i grew up in a home that was very obsessively #health conscious to the point my dad gets anxious abt taking a single ibuprofen. so like ive been conditioned to get freaked out by #medication. literally my grandma will call me and tell me to b suspicious of doctors and to not take medicine unless absolutely necessary. #like lady u r the genetic reason i have 0cd shut the fuck up. also it feels like something that would more negatively affect how ppl think #of u than saying oh yea i get depressed or i have anxiety. like the connotation feels worse im used to just telling ppl whatever tf #my problem is. so the idea of holding something back feels weird. which annoys me bc i dont think there should b so much of a stigma. its #bullshit. anyway idk. im tired. i was trying to think of a comfort tv show with my therapist and all i could think was the terror #when im depressed i wanna watch those English mother fuckers suffer and die. i just lov that show so much. harry g00dsir my beloved. the #most me coded character to ever exist #unrelated

[redpiperfox]

But mainly, and really:

#red's week in music #STORYTIME WITH RED GATHER ROUND KIDDOS! #was at kids club tonight and went in knowing little 8 year olds mom had her baby this morning and lil girl was now big sis if two #and knew she hadnt come from home bc her hair was a mess of someone who didnt know curls trying to do it lol #shes generally emotional and dramatic but we can all see that shes a lil more so tonight. understandably. lotsa change #well she kinda hinges on this one thing of not getting the verses said to earn a jewel bc she wasnt able to say them-- totally fine! we'll #practice and get them later! but shes distraught bc she worked on them with mum and wont get jewel so i keep telling her when we'll work on #them together and when ill listen to her and we can get it done. cool. then lesson time shes up and down sniffly and the lesson says smth #about childbirth-- bursts into disarray. i ask her if she wants to step out and we blow her nose and she keeps talking about the verse so i #tell her solutions for that and then shes working herself up so i work thru calming down and she goes from #“i think im mad” to “mom would let me do what i want!” and i know the real issue isnt the verse but thats what shes telling me so... #adult shes staying with cautiously steps in and she calms down to tell me “its not the verse... i think i miss my mom” #oh my heart i know honey i give her a hug and we talk about the sleeover shes going to have and when shes going to see mom #and shes sleeping next to lil sis so shes going to give sis a big hug and tell her theyre going to see mom in the morning #and then i ask her if she wants to go back and she does and i just hold her and hug her the whole time #i give her another squeeze when she leaves and tell her to enjoy her sleepover #her friend shes staying with i should not did a very sweet of coming over and saying “hey lookit this new book i got do you wanna color it #with me maybe?“ which was such an emotionally mature thing for her and to see lil kiddo cheer up warmed me #teachers we debriefed and talked about kids going thru stuff at home and not being able to tell and process their emotions and stuff #and then i shared with mum on the ride back and she goes “yup. lil toddler will just miss mom-- its trauma at this age. this is why i #panicked and called my mother to come for your sis's birth bc dad said he could handle you but my heart couldnt for what you would go thru.“ #i was six when my sister was born. my grandma being there before consistently made me giddly excited in that time waiting for dad to bring #us to the hospital. #anyway my heart was full and im praying extra hard for two lil girls in a sleepover missing their mom tonight. #red's personal sitcom #Spotify

[skin-slave]

I know this is prob a dumbass thing to be happy about kinda, but I had a long debate over gender yesterday with a conservative Christian bro, and at the end he said I made good points and he disagrees, but will consider what I said. Like 🥹 did I just throw a starfish closer to the water

#idk i dont need a butter cookie or anything #just its so rare to have a person actually hear what youre saying #more and more ive gotten into the habit of asking questions instead of arguing points #i gave my hair category analogy and he was like #thats nothing like gender and you know it #and i was like #ok how are they different #and he didnt have a response but its not like a gotcha its like #thats something to think about later my dude good luck #if you come up with a response and you wanna discuss it im here #hes engaged some ppl with horrible bigotry and was like #nobody will let me discuss it #and i was like you can discuss it #if you cant do it without breaking hate speech tos thats not the subject matters fault #and he was like fine ill prove it #and idk im just #everything went better than expected

[surreal-duck]

messing around a bit

#delete later #man i havent rly drawn for myself in a while it feels weird #trying to play around w my style lately but i dont think its getting anywhere whwhkjsdghjdg #shoutout to yuzuru if nobody's got me after burning out all of my creative juices ik hes got me #should probably go to sleep early tonight got assigned another project to work on through next week at my internship 😔 #still going through a very mixed feelings stage regarding on how i see my art but ill live i guess #just. nothing is good enough. im never gonna be satisfied. i think this looks fine. this is the worst thing ive ever seen and made. #im gonna fall behind. it isnt a race. everyones already far ahead. maybe this is okay. why are you satisfied with this much its not enough. #aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa being an artist am i right ! agony #well i guess lately its not that i just havent been drawing things for me but more like i cant for some reason. burnouts an asshole #even though i really really did want to make things it honestly sucked ass not being able to i rly dont know what id do if i cant draw #actually took some time for myself yesterday and walked around town a bit it was nice. pierced my ears again and treated myself #but as consequence of course i am now broke </3 unfortunate #hmmmmm idk what im saying kdjsjgdhhskgjdhsdg hope things r going well for everyone else if you're even reading this! may u have a good week #man i wish i just knew if things are gonna be okay #hngggg baru aja tiga bulan masuk balik sekolah sama udah secapek ini wkwkwkwkkwkwk payah gk sih gw ini #masih setahun lebih sampe lulus juga head in hands kenapa gk bisa tidur buat seminggu aja aaagh #ya yang penting juga gw masih hidup sih gk mau kemana-mana kyk gini #aaaaaaaaa gk mau masuk studio besokkkk mau tidurrrr #me when i have to do my job at work #i wonder what i should make for lunch and dinner tomorrow. knowing me though ill end up falling asleep as soon as i get out of the shower #sorry this is. all over the place props if you're even reading this far LOL apologies you have to see me rant a bit

[theyhitthepentagon]

YOU LIKE RAINWORLD⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️

YEEEEEEEEES i started playing it in like november and then stopped playing for a while because i got stuck trying to get to five pebbles. someone mentioned it to me again like 4 days ago so i decided to power through it yesterday and today LOL

#asks #rainworld rules #i dont know anything thats going on yet though #ill have to look into the story more later. i think i kind of get it but not really LOL its very vague #which is fine i like vague