Tumgik
#ig im really regretting all of this
regret-breathing · 9 hours
Text
i am so scared :) and so tired :)) i just want to live and to be loved and to cry and write and yearn for fulfillment rather than simple subsistence.
2 notes · View notes
thebuttsmcgee · 2 years
Text
THE SAME PLUSH CREATOR FOR THE LUMITY PLUSHES HAS PLANS FOR A WILLOW AND HUNTER PLUSH SET LETS GOOOOO
Tumblr media
#butts talks nonsense#well technically its also owl house related but I dont wanna main tag that#tho it might end up there anyways? ehhhh#aaanyways. apparently they said so nearly a month ago lmao I guess I missed it tho ldjqhbdw#really cool tho!!!!!!!!! Dude I have seen like NO Willow plushes at all and only 1 Hunter plush. Ive seen a custom made Gus one as well but#only by 1 person tho it was still p cool#Im p excited tho!!!!! Their Luz and Ams plushes have always been really well made as well as their SPoP ones so woot!#Granted I jUST got the Luz one a little ago but to be fair Im. hm. picky? when it comes to detail and Ive always seen her hoodie as purbl#so thats why I ordered right away when they started manufacturing Luz in purbl instead of the blue. I also just never got the hexside#uniformed ones cuz. uh. money? Ig. lmao I dont really remember since its actually been a while. Kinda regret it but who knows!#Maybe theyll restock it or someone could sell their own one day. I did just see a S1 Ams plush go for sale. so. ehhuh.#hg. times like these I wish they made a Gus and Matty plush set ghhehgvvvv. IMAGINE A GUS PLUSH IF YOU WOULD!!!!#Granted I dont think we've seen Matty in an actual casual fit so he'd either hafta be in Hexside uniform or the fit he wore in TTLGR.#Which. Mighta? been his casual? outfit? uh. hm. In my mind I kept thinking that was his previous Glandus uni but Im not sure now LMAO#anyways w for huntlow. even if ya dont like it then hey an actually well made (and actually made) Willow and Hunter plush!#THO. HEADS UP. LMAO ITLL BE 120 FOR THE SET FHSBABSBW#yea I paid about 67 for my Luz plush and the Lumity set was like. 120 without shipping fees dfjwbsb#all cool tho. after all it is commission work!#dude I just love plushies. My sonic one is on the way argh argh argh.#I need to hold myself back from stimming cause more cool stuff like plushes for toh gets me really happy and excited djahb#but yea!!!!! hell yea!!!!!!! HELL YES DUDE!!!! FINALLY WILLOW MERCH!!!! also merch for gringito 👌#OH LMAO I bet Mr. Zeno Robinson is gunna somehow get 1. He deserves it#uh oh. lookin at these tags. I may have. whats the word. uh. infodumped? I dunno but I rambled a lot about this cuz Im actually excited#for this. BUT THEYRE SUCH A GREAT PLUSH maker ofc I would!!!! I wonder what designs they'd use tho. okay I should stop. bef. brgore I#before I ramble again too much rjaqnnqwn
57 notes · View notes
bloggirl8842 · 7 months
Text
I’ve been reflecting a lot lately on my high school crush. It was this hugeee devastating thing to me bc I’d grown up w the guy and it was this torch I carried for three years so publicly and for no reason other than to have a hobby, though it started with what I still think was genuine chemistry (or the potential for it), and coming out of it made me shut off that part of myself almost entirely bc I thought I just became an issue when I felt that sort of affection but it’s all so crazy! I was mentioning this to my therapist as like blah blah blah I didn’t date growing up, I got a huge crush on my friend and I knew I didn’t have a chance so I pushed him away and he got a girlfriend and we didn’t really talk after that but I kept the crush isn’t that so weird, and she was like “wait no you did have a chance. You were friends and you pushed him away to retreat into fantasy but you could’ve tried to actually go after him or even just maintained the friendship after his relationship began.” And that’s been ringing in my head for a MONTH because it’s true and he and I weren’t even fully friends but we had the potential to be like we had inside jokes we admired each other’s work and I just cut any chance of that off because I was so freaked! I can distinctly recall myself avoiding chances at connecting! I wish I’d pursued that friendship I don’t think it would’ve been a big important thing or that we would’ve been close but I think it would’ve at least been nice
2 notes · View notes
snekdood · 1 year
Text
Bitches on here be like "haha! I read this callout about you and i told everyone around me to ostracize you and ignore you and the reason you're alone is divinely orchestrated karma, of course, surely not me and my hand in manipulating people to hate you, surely this is some sort of divine intervention and not a smear campaign that i try to justify my actions with "its gods will" with"
2 notes · View notes
munamania · 1 year
Text
is it really really stupid to give her the gift. i know she’s not worth it and im making myself feel like shit over and over and i need to stop and it doesnt matter how sad or angry i am about it she’s not just gonna dump him and even if she did i wouldn’t like. want to be the second choice (not that i inherently would be. weirdo dream scenario) and it’s just not gonna affect her much to not see me anymore and i have to be okay with that. and im truthfully not rn but i have to be cause that’s the reality. anyway lost my point there
#like. i just cant imagine class being over monday and just being like. ok bye forever ig. or not rlly saying anything#idk guys im sorry i know ive gone on and on and on nonstop for months#it just sucks#even if i think back to monday like. it's classic baby steps of leading me on and i fortunately for once didnt nip at the bit right away#but just the little ways she looked at me and smiled or joked around. kinda flirty. just for her to yk#post the bereal today and hes in it and its like 'wait let me get a shirt on' so just blatantly fucking yk. didnt even have to do my sleuth#work. and like. i know maybe ive overreacted to a lot of it and over thought it and she really didn't intentionally do a lot of it#and wasn't ever confused or anything and i just told myself that to justify being sooooo bonkers over it. idk#so it's like. with all that in mind. no i should not give it to her i should just walk out of class and not talk to her again#but the wounded part of me the 17 yr old in me is desperately asking why it's so easy for someone to get over me#but she was never into me! or at least not enough yk. she has a boyfriend. and that yk. shouldve been enough#but i got so lost in all these little signs and feelings of tension and#i guess. lol look at me abt to say this. doesnt help to dwell (lol!) but who knows if it was mutual some of those times when it just Felt#tense. yk. or if she just has problems and really liked the ego boost#cause boy did i make it fucking easy to enjoy my attention! and i never ever ever shouldve done all that bc she wasnt mutually engaging#at least not till like. october. and only briefly. and i just. ugh#anyway :( whatever. i know the answer is no. i know it's no i know i shouldnt#but as i was saying. the wounded part of me wishes i could make her feel even a fraction of the hurt or even just fucking regret#but not pity. but regret for being an asshole. if i could just say something as my final word or something and still be dignified#but i just dk how that would happen. so. yeah#hopefully this is one of my runner up last posts about her#film girl saga
6 notes · View notes
lonelyghostpirate · 2 years
Text
Man, having younger siblings who are similar to you really just never fails to prove that every single thing you thought you were unique for is… really not that special, or was just a product of being online in specific circles.
I remember relating to tumblr posts talking about wanting to eat glitter and rocks and being into gremlincore when I was 14 (before it was a popularized thing), and thinking I was like, idk some kind of fun weird minority that experiences this— but no. I’m now 19 and my 13 year old brother just talked about how much he wants to eat the mica powder my mom bought and how tasty it looks. And this is just one out of many, MANY times something like that has happened.
#like wow. i really wasn’t as quirky as i thought i was just chronically online or something lmfao#i remember the whole like ChAoTic gay vibe (idk how to describe it) that i got from tumblr and felt so different for at 13… welp#and yup sure enough my brothers new personality is just that with a 2022 spin#they say tiktok is the new tumblr and sometimes I get whiplash from how true it is- but more than that- from how they all think theyre#doing original things that nobody’s done before…. like damn. what was tumblr the new version of cuz im suddenly doubting everything lmfao#the amount of discourse these 11-16 y/os are talking abt kills me cuz its the same shit we went thru & resolved on the hellsite 5+ yrs ago#like damn. i really thought cringe culture and pronoun discourse and truscum/transmed discourse were all dead cuz we reached a consensus—#that its bs and we should just accept people. nope. turns out i just lived in the bubble that is tumblr ig.#who knew everyone else still gave a shit. cuz i sure didnt. i left that shit in the dust in like 2016 w the rest of tumblr and have lived—#happily discourse free ever since.#i strongly regret ever downloading twitter for this reason. i got it to follow the artists that left tumblr but man… if tumblr is a hellsite#twitter is satans actual asshole.#tiktok is pretty bad in its own right tho tbf. i never realized that till i took a break from it and then came back to most live videos#on my fyp being about if women should be in the kitchen…….. like girllll. tiktok gives certain endangered species wayyyy too much spotlight#*ghost box radio noises*#ignore this im just thinking out loud im sure people have said all this already
4 notes · View notes
skeleton-headass · 9 months
Text
oh it's getting worse
#this shit has always been more about control and willpower than anything else for me#(i know. im this self aware and still keep falling into the same fucking pit 🥴)#and today yeah i was shaky with just two coffees and water and walking around the city for a uni thing#so i decided to eat a protein bar just that i wont faint before i get on my 4h train back#and after it i just felt. regret. like im clearly under my cal amount today i literally walked twice the amount that bar had#but all i could hear in my head was “i didn't need that”#like part of it has always been “i'm in control#in what i eat how much i eat like if i wanted to stop i could“ and its so cliche bUT I'VE ALWAYS BEEN ABLE TO#THAT WAS THE WHOLE POINT#but now i have a sandwich in my bag and my head hurts but im not hungry and i just don't want to eat it even tho i know i should#like yeah i don't feel hungry but i really should eat it now i should be able to eat it#but my head says “why? why should i?” BECAUSE IM IN SEVERE CALORIE DEFECIT DUMBASS#and this is so weird and stupid and embarrassing#but ive been to this pit like four times in the past 5 years in episodes and its never felt this consuming it#the episodes i would restrict were sometimes longer and sometimes shorter but I was always in control#ig i thought i was the fucking exception to a fucking rule#i needed this control to make it thru being at my dad's and all my pre-semester uni stress#it should be getting easier#and its fucking not#i know i have no one to blame except myself jesus fucking Christ
0 notes
u-know-too-much · 1 year
Text
Just an opinion. Although our school is famous for being a powerhouse for really smart and talented kids, I feel like it relies on the raw talent of the student rather than genuinely nurturing them or at least it's very selective with those it wants to nurture (which are usually the already exceptional kids). Which in turn is what makes it famous and gives it its reputation, and gets parents to enroll their talented kids in. It's not apparent bc well, sometimes, the only thing we qanna do is get the tf outta here lmao.
Rarely does it have qualified teachers that specialise in that particular subject, they just get who they can and teach to get it over with, training for comps are rarely formal, we have to sustain and improve ourselves on our own for said comps, then they get to claim all the credit "school that houses great future writers" or some shit. And then they give us the obviojs excuse of letting us be "independent" bc it "prepares us for college", how about let's do simulations first before the actual thing.
I also got one failed grade and one low grade bc of minor subjects. Now they're going to ruin my average. How am I supposed to compete to bigger, smarter students.
It's so tiring, I'm wasting so much time, I'm slowly burning out.
Our school can go burn down, with all my horrid classmates in it. Whatever prowess and prestige it had when I first enrolled here is nothing but rubble now that I'm almost leaving. Now go and watch them improve this trainwreck of a place after we leave :)
#the treatment of us and tvl vs abm and stem is just wow#the knowledge and teachings we get...i can get this from a google search i dont see what's so specialised ab it#and our section is mixed in with those who are lagging behind in hopes of us helping them are we babysitters??#i regret choosing humss or my school#it's such a pain to endure here#i get good grades but haha it could be better#im not really learning anything#i just know instead of these two years of k-12 helping me it's going to stump me when i get to college#haha how am i supposed to catch up to everybody else#i know neither the school or our adviser or half of our teachers give a shit#but lol this is the only chance i'll get to end my suffering pls give me better education...#also holy fuck our room is a literal sandstorm#stem gets the avr??#abm gets to keep their pristine room??#and when i vent ab it. everyone just talks ab how better they've got it sure?? is that supposed to make me feel better??#thanks for invalidating me ig there is no upside to this#ive been trying my hardest to endure and pretend like any of these minor inconveniences compounding together is okay to me.#when i complain ab grades like i just wanna get the highest like i think i dsserve from the effort i gave#im not undermining the one i got no way is it something to frown on but dont you think they can still give and compensate us thru this#from all the stupid shit we had to sit with#studying here is painful#i had to do this now every day#im honestlh considering if i should start skipping classes
1 note · View note
noxtivagus · 1 year
Text
dump in tags oh man
#🌙.vent#IM TRYING TO DO MY BEST AAAA#no energy n everytime i think of the past or the future n the things i have to do in the present#i get so overwhelmed.... regrets regrets regrets#i wld be happy if i cld just have my family n friends n jsut do wtvr i love but#the. pressure of academics haha#growing up i really was an achiever so. hs my study habits have gotten worse. i used to never submit anything late yk#this year i'm still doing well enough ig but. fuck i'm disappointed i don't think it's good enough#esp if i wna go to the top unis in my country n maybe even overseas#it's so overwhelming i haven't been doing well lately#i need to fix myself n my life but at the same time#thinking if regrets always just weighs me down i really want to get rid of them but they persist n it hurts#it just.... doesn't seem to end#i feel like i'm falling behind.#i used to be. ahead so. this hurts#i'm hollow compared to the person i used to be lmfao#thinking abt it all burdens me so much that i'm tempted to just give up someway somehow#i won't though. i can't do that.. but it weighs so heavy on me ahh it hurts a lot but i have to be strong enough to do better#it's all so overwhelming n i'm falling to stress i need some sort of rest of comfort but i'm afraid it'll stress me out more as well#i'll just do my best n try to take my mind off it ;;;;#torn between reality and fiction and hope and despair n wtvr the fuck else is there n oh my god it hurts but i'm fine#i genuinely have regrets in all aspects of my life from school to games to social to. everything n it's just weighing down all at once sob#maybe this is a bit bad but surely it's not like i'll affect others if i be quiet or isolate myself for a while yhyh#idk fuck loneliness that's irrational i'll focus on whatever the heck i can w myself#maybe part of me is underesting again how i'm a part of the world around me but i'm just too overwhelmed to really think abt livingg proper#ly like that nymore so ill just be productive. succeed. i'll be fine surely certainly definitely
1 note · View note
gommyworm · 1 year
Text
:^/
#im gonna shout into the void since i have no friends to talk to and tumblr is my comfort place in a way ?#jonah dont read this#tbh idc if u do bc id say it to ur face but i dont want to make everything about feelings all the time and this place is basically my diary#so like its ur own fault for following me here !#man i really should just book a meeting w my therapist so i can talk to someone without broadcasting it on te internet lol#anyways#hard to watch someone become less and less interested in u#even when u know u deserve it and like its logical ?#really regret that stupid litke outburst had but also i know it came from a place of fear#i want the people i like to be happy but it sucks to know that nobody can be happy w me ig#and not through any fault of theirs lol im always the issue#life sucks#i think im gonna start just deleting social medias#i dont want to be accessible#already deleted twit so i basically cut off all my past kpop friends#not that they care lol its been a while since ive spoken to any of them#gonna leave the starbucks gc bc the vibes are terrible#i think im statting to hate everyone ive been close w these past few years#i take comfort in the concept of killkng the person that u are in the moment rather than full on killing urself#bc i dont reaaaally want to kms but like god the thought is tempting huh#but its like i cant see an escape rn#im so bored and tired and sad and alone lol like what am i supposed to do with this#theres no groundwork accomplished im just gonna wither away or something#like id try and go on some dates or something but i dont even have the energy to try and move on from my previous relationship lol#idk maybe he has the right idea i shoukd just get laid by someone random huh#idk how to even accomplish that lmao likeim moderately attractive but like idk what to do w all this#also i really dont want to talk to strangers 😔😔😔#its really bs that i have 1 friend and hes a silly guy who i cant really talk to abojt this kinda stuff#and the only oter person i talk to is my ex who i made things really awkward w and prolly doesnt even wanna talk to me anymore#gommywords
0 notes
a-soft-hornytiny · 1 year
Text
Lecture.
Summary: Your roommate Mingi decides to tease you and you take your revenge.
Word count: 2.8k+
Genre: Smut
Pairing: Mingi x female!reader
Warnings: blow job, hand job, teasing, cum, cum swallowing, oral, dirty talk, bit of voyeurism ig (Let me know if I missed something) be careful while reading.
Notes: this has been chilling in my ideas for a looooong time. I think one of my moots made me write this down, sadly don’t remember who. And hello~ im kinda back?
Taglist: after the cut (let me know if you wanna be added)
------------------------------------------------------
Unfortunately you had started studying right when covid hit and now you were stuck in this university dorm with your hot but annoying roommate Mingi 24/7. You shouldn’t really be complaining, you knew that. He took care of his stuff, did his chores and cleaned after himself. Yes he was a bit loud sometimes when he was recording some of his rap tracks in his room but that was not why you were annoyed.
You were annoyed because you didn’t know if he knew what he was doing when he walked out of the bathroom. Just a towel around his waist. Little water drops running down his chest.
And he decided to always shower right when you had an online lecture.
You couldn’t escape it either since the living room table was the only place in the dorm where the internet was good enough to survive a whole hour and a half lecture. And the bathroom door led to the living room, which led to his room.
Of course he didn’t do anything wrong in particular but how were you supposed to concentrate on “The basics of marine anatomy” when you had “The basics of human anatomy” walking right in front of you.
But you couldn’t say anything until you figured out if he was doing it on purpose or if his extremely innocent image was real. But you weren’t sure how.
Your first attempt was lying about when your lectures were. You told him they were earlier than usual and waited for him to come out of his room, but he didn’t. He went to shower at the same time as usual, which meant it still collided with your schedule. You couldn’t actually skip a lecture just to prove that your roommate wanted to make you horny.
And just as you were nearly convinced that he just had a weird daily schedule of showering at exactly 9:15am, your schedule changed and your lecture was delayed from 9am to 11am. And suddenly he started going to the bathroom at 11:15am.
There was no way that was a coincidence.
And with that little theory you decided to jump into the cold water and the next time he came out of the bathroom, hot as always, you bluntly stared him down.
“Like what you see?” He raised one eyebrow while walking into the kitchen, not even sparing you a glance. But you could swear that you saw him smirk.
You didn’t answer. You let your eyes wander from his short pink hair, which he was sloppily drying off with a towel, to his defined shoulders over his long torso and his slightly visible abs.
“I think you should get back to your lecture or your professor will wonder what makes you drool.” He said while picking up an apple from the counter and walking over to his room. Before he closed his door he gave you a quick wink. And that was all the proof you needed. He was doing it on purpose.
And you were gonna get back at him.
Shortly after your first lesson ended you started creating your masterplan. Fight fire with fire they say.
Not only did he know about your schedule but you also knew about his. So right before his evening lecture you decided to take your best underwear and run to the bathroom. You waited a few minutes until you heard him settle down at the living room table before you started your shower.
oh he will regret this you thought while stepping out of the shower and putting on a very revealing bra and fitting panties. You dried yourself off just enough to not make a mess and took a step towards the door. While grabbing the handle you realized how nervous you were. But you wanted him to feel the consequences of his actions and opened the door.
Mingi had just finished a sentence when the bathroom door opened. He thought nothing of it at first but when he saw skin in the corner of his eye he couldn’t help but look up. And there you were.
You tried not to look at him directly while walking to the kitchen sink to get a glass of water but you could feel him staring. The feeling of being scanned from top to bottom gave you goosebumps. Was that how he felt when you stared at him?
Just as you finished your glass of water, you turned around. You had expected him to be subtle. To glance at you from time to time. But you were wrong. So wrong. He had turned towards you on his chair, his legs were spread and his eyes were completely fixated on you.
“Like what you see?” You imitated him while walking to the living room. “I think you should get back to your lecture before your prof-“
“My camera is off and I’m muted.” He interrupted you with a huge smile on his face. But it wasn’t a happy smile, it was a dirty one.
You felt shivers run down your spine. Fuck. It felt like he was a predator and you were his prey. Suddenly you could feel every single centimeter of your exposed skin. And it was burning. His hands were resting on the inside of his thighs. You couldn’t do anything against it when your eyes decided to lock on his crotch. An all too familiar tickling feeling appeared in your stomach as you imagined what may be lying underneath his pants. But he noticed.
“Well you must be down bad for me if you put so much effort in just to get my attention.” You answered while leaning on the table right across from him, giving him a good view of your cleavage. He gulped. Success.
“You could’ve told me instead Mingi, honey. Now we’ve wasted so much precious time.” You grinned at him before turning around and slowly, really slowly walking towards your room. You could feel his eyes on your curves as they moved from side to side.
But before you even realized it, you heard the sound of a chair and felt arms wrap around your waist. You inhaled sharply as he pressed his body against yours. You couldn’t see him but he rested his head on your shoulder and whispered against your neck.
“Oh Y/n, please stay with me a little longer… My lecture is getting boring.” He exhaled against your ear and hugged you even closer. You could feel his desire for you… and you could feel his.. oh my god.
You didn’t even realize that you had held your breath until he let go of you and walked back to the living room table. He was giving you a choice. You could either go to your room, get dressed and forget what happened or you could turn around, possibly risking your perfectly platonic relationship and see what happens next. And both sides had their perks. On one hand you were still burning in embarrassment and wanted to hide in your room for the next week or so. But on the other hand you could feel the little puddle in your panties and the excitement in your bones.
You decided to turn around.
He didn’t say anything while you walked towards him, only giving you a small smile. But it seemed genuine. He seemed genuinely relieved that you decided to turn around. You wanted to sit on his lap but he stopped you.
“Wait a bit, I have to present some of my assignments results soon and I have to turn my camera on for that.” He scratched the back of his head, sorry on one side and upset on the other. He pointed to the chair next to him instead.
It was good that it was midsummer, otherwise you would’ve been cold. But this way it was fine. You sat down next to him, still feeling his eyes on you.
“Mister Song, please present your results now.” You heard the voice of his professor through his laptop. Mingi then unmuted and turned his camera on. While he started talking you tried to take in every detail of his flawless face. He had really sharp features which were a big contrast to his soft image. Your eyes scanned his body as he seemed to be uncomfortable with something. And then your eyes landed on his crotch again.
There was not much left to imagination anymore. You could clearly see the outline of his hard dick in his pants. And he was squirming, obviously bothered by the tightness of his pants. A quick picture rushed through your mind. No, you can’t do that. Or maybe you could? You felt your cheeks heat up as the image got clear in your head. Fuck it. You had nothing to lose.
Without much hesitation you slipped off your chair and kneeled down under the table. Right in front of him. You could see his eyes widen as your hands fiddled with his belt. He started stuttering and his ears turned red.
“And that's when I found a study proclaiming th-that-“ he cleared his throat and sat up straight. You couldn’t help but chuckle slightly as you finally managed to open his pants and pull out the massive tent in his underwear. Mingi cleared his throat again before he continued talking. There was already a wet patch at the top of his dick showing how aroused he actually was and you couldn’t help but touch it softly.
He sharply inhaled, interrupting himself mid sentence. “Is everything alright Mister Song?” His professor asked, making him blush profusely. “Yes sir, I’m good” he answered, his voice still shaking. The vibrations of his deep voice sent shivers down your spine as he continued to elaborate on his studies.
You loved the power you had in this moment. His whole body reacted to everything you did, even if it was just a nervous rush of his eyes. Time to make it worse.
You grabbed his underwear and slowly pulled it down until his cock sprung free. You watched it move as your mouth filled with saliva. Fuck he was huge. The tip of his dick was slightly wet and it stood tall. You wanted to suck him off so bad. And as you were kneeling in front of him you realized that you wanted to do this for a long time.
But as he did for you, you wanted to give him a choice. When he had a short break in talking you looked at him with big question marks in your eyes, your mouth hovering over his dick by just an inch. His eyes were big and a bit puffy as he looked down but he didn’t answer. All that he did was softly taking the back of your head in his right hand and pushing you closer.
That was a yes.
Without any hesitation you opened your mouth widely, allowing him to guide his dick into your mouth. Then he let go.
He tasted amazing. You closed your mouth around his tip and let your tongue run over it a few times. Goosebumps formed on his whole body but you decided not to move. Until he started talking again.
Right when he opened his mouth to start another sentence you wrapped one hand around the shaft of his dick and let your head slide down. You could take about half of him without having to deepthoat, the other half was in your hand. He let out a quiet but pathetic moan before collecting himself and starting anew.
You looked up at him with a mischievous light in your eyes as you started to move your head up and down in a steady rhythm. You hum slightly, the vibration intensifying his pleasure. His breath was heavy but he managed to stay still and keep talking. You moved your hand with your mouth to feel his whole length.
In the corner of your eyes you could see that his thighs were slightly shaking as you stopped and gently licked his tip again. You felt how much he held himself back. He wanted to buckle up his hips, he wanted to moan your name and grab your head to push you deeper. But that had to wait.
“To conclude, my research successfully proved the given statement.” His voice was getting lower and lower and his eyes darkened as his professor thanked him and called on the next in line. You never had someone shut his laptop so fast. You stopped.
“But Mingi, your lecture still goes on for half an hour..” you wanted to protest but he had already pushed the table back to get a better sight of you.
“Who fucking cares.” He said before grabbing your head and pushing you closer. You immediately opened your mouth, willing to take him as deep as he wanted. You felt his dick enter your mouth and touch the back of your throat. You took a deep breath through your nose before you pushed your head down further, taking him completely.
Mingi let out a deep growly moan and looked at you in disbelief. “One one ever took me completely..” he groaned before throwing his head back. “Fuck.”
You felt high. The adrenaline rushed through your veins as you felt his pre-cum leak down your throat. You were good at this. You knew that. His hand was buried in your hair but he didn’t put any pressure on it, he let you do your thing. And you did your thing.
After giving yourself a few seconds to adjust, you started to move your tongue around his base while slowly picking up speed. His moans were angelic. He clearly wasn’t afraid of being loud and it was obvious that he didn’t care what people think. The walls were thin.
“God Y/n why did you never tell me how good you are at this?” He asked, completely out of breath. You couldn’t answer, still having his pulsating cock inside of your mouth. But he didn’t need an answer. All he needed was your wet mouth around his dick.
“This is the exact outcome I had hoped for.” He chuckled, taking a deep breath after. “Fuck I’m already close.” He whispered as his grip in your hands got stronger. A feeling of superiority overcame you as you felt his dick twitch. Then you slid back, continuing your movements with your hands but giving him a dirty smirk.
“If I had known you wanted me to do this, I would’ve done it way earlier..” you grinned, making him moan. “Such a big dick but not brave enough to make a proper move on me.” You were teasing him. You wanted him to feel what you felt. Even though you knew there may be consequences for that.
He let out a small whine. “I’ll return the favor I swear but please don’t let me wait much longer.”
You chuckled and let some salvia drop on his tip before taking him again. You could taste the salt on your tongue. A clear indicator that he wouldn’t last much longer.
“Cum for me handsome..” you whispered under your breath before picking up speed again. His moans got louder, more frequent as his hips began to shake. His right hand was still caught up in your hair but his left hand was grabbing the chair. And he was squeezing the wood so hard that if you didn’t know any better you would think it was about to burst.
“Please Y/n, let me fill you up..” he groaned, getting closer to his high with every little movement of your tongue. _With pleasure_ you thought carefully sucking on his tip.
He started shaking uncontrollably, his head thrown back. “Fuck fuck fuck!” He moaned as his cum started filling your mouth. It tasted amazing and you gladly gulped down every drop of it, still moving slowly to help him ride out his orgasm. His whole body was in high tension as you swallowed the last drop of his cum and let go of him.
His body immediately collapsed on the chair and his breathing started to get more and more regular. You didn’t move. Still kneeling in front of him.
When he finally opened his eyes he gave you a dark smile.
“I think we should move this into your bedroom”
--------------------------------
Tags: @jonghoisbabie @multidreams-and-desires @little-precious-baby @yunhofingers-writes @serialee @crimsonbubble @cometoceantrenches @em--ilysm @deja-vux @kawaiiloli00 @ddeonghwva @aaaaajonghooooo @sansbun @cookies-n-joong @plonys @hijirikaww @nari-nim @yunkiwii @mingi-ivity @racheloveyunho @seongsangsgf @jhmylove @lizsvcks @yunhobabygurl @leoninadecorazones @kerra-that-one-random-fangirl @star1117-archives
1K notes · View notes
euaphoric · 9 months
Text
lust.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
✩‧₊˚ pairing — jungkook x f!reader, strangers to ??? (wtv they got going on in this dynamic)
✩‧₊˚ warnings — i was planning to make this way happier but i was in a sad mood so im sorry if it’s a little angsty? some fluff ig, sm*t, mentions of alcohol & smoking (cigs), dom!jk & sub!reader, hookup culture, slight corruption? oc cries a lot, spanking, ch*king, just a lot of freeky stuff, koo is a little mean in this oops
words: 3.2k // literally the longest thing i’ve wrote so far. also irdk what this is but i just kept going and couldn’t stop, kinda feels rushed toward the end cause i just wanted to get to the freaky parts sfsfjgs i’m sawry y’all
Tumblr media
it happened 2 years ago, yet the memories of that fateful day still carry on with you as if it were yesterday. vibrant recollections of those slender, jewelled hands clasped around your neck as you cry out for him, body subconsciously submitting to all of him - breaking every barrier you’ve built up within. of all your years of existence, that night was the only time you’ve felt truly alive, shedding every ounce of innocence away in one night for a man whose name you didn’t even know.
do you regret losing your virginity to someone who only saw you as a temporary plaything? partly yes and partly no. you were conflicted on the fact you never exchanged info after he left but other than that, nothing regrettable came out of it. the only issue was that he’s set your standards far into oblivion, you’ve yet to find a lay as memorable as he was. it’s not as though you haven’t tried getting over it in the past - you’ve been desperately wishing to forget. suppressing your inner desires with all kinds of self pleasure methods; even going so far as to banging other hot strangers you meet from the bars/club - but even then, you couldn’t replicate how you felt with him and you still couldn’t reach your climax without thinking of your first time.
you catch yourself daydreaming of him daily. the raspy tone of his voice, the intoxicating scent of expensive cologne, the fluorescent, animated ink that adorned his arm along with a silver pierced lip and eyebrow, his sublime sense of style. everything you could’ve ever wanted, slipped away from your grasp forever. that was, until you were met face to face with him again - a total of 882 days later (yes you did the math). you went bar hopping downtown with all your girl friends, looking for an eventful weekend. little did you know you’d be running into him again, the nameless man that gave you a night to remember. you were definitely the first to notice him, it felt quite peculiar but as soon as you walked in you got struck with a weird deja vu moment. it all felt so familiar to you, even down to the symphonic melodies of jazz music playing in the distance, everything brought you back to that gloomy autumn night.
you’d try your dearest not to stare but your mind was not complying with any rationality, one look at his broad physique and it was endgame for all your sanity. it didn’t help that your body went inert, lost in a trance of him indefinitely, wanting nothing more than to worship him and give in to his every need. you reminisce about him telling you how much of a good girl you were for taking all of it, sucking on his fingers as you completely come undone underneath him. he left you begging for more that night, crying and pleading for at least a goodbye kiss - which you never got the pleasure of getting. “i told you this was a one time thing only.. besides, i’m leaving the city tomorrow for good so you’ll probably never see me again. it’s for the best anyway.”
his cold last words left more than a lasting impression on you. it sent you into an endless spiral of overthinking, analyzing any and everything you could’ve done wrong. did that night really mean absolutely nothing to him at all? all the countless times you’d touch yourself to vivid recounts of his face pressed into your thigh, plastering wet kisses all over them and sucking on your bruised skin. he’d spank each thigh one by one as a punishment, proudly smirking at the way you’d wince out in pain mixed with so much pleasure. he thrived off the idea that he was the first to corrupt you like this, a girl he hasn’t even known for a span of 24 hours willing to give up just about anything she had to offer. had you shamelessly wrapped around his finger like an brainless puppet.
you still don’t understand how someone can look so divine, even when doing nothing but just standing. you watch as he sips Viognier out of an oversized wine glass, gazing at the crowd, ruffling his fingers through his hair from time to time. then it became unreal when you locked eyes with him, catching him stealing a glance when he realizes who you were. you look almost exactly the same as you did a few years ago, the only part that’s different about you now is the recent butterfly tattoo you got on your lower back. that’ll be a pleasant surprise for him to find out. his eyes never drifted once they landed on you, he was in just as much shock as you were - maybe more. he’d made an internal promise to himself to keep you as a forever one time fling - nothing more just that, but if fate wasn’t real then why would the universe send you back into each other’s lives?
no, not a romantic kind of fate. the fate you get when someone you’ve mindlessly lusted over for ages has finally found its way to you again. a fate that doesn’t occur by chance, or coincidence, it was pure destiny awaiting to happen.
✦•┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈•✦
“wow, you haven’t changed at all have you?” he says nonchalantly, acting as if you were an old friend he was catching up with. you weren’t sure how to respond, the surrealism of the moment brought you everywhere but reality. all you really could do was blink, fluttering your lashes at his towering figure over you. though there was a sea of people in this packed, lively bar, it felt like only you two existed in this confined space. he tried striking up the usual basic conversation with the typical, how’re your studies going? work’s been treating you well? anything exciting happen in your life recently? you gave as much of a vague answer as you could, barely putting any thought or effort, you were only giving him the same treatment that he gave back then. he would often come off as bored or condescending at times, it felt good to take back just the little bit of power you upheld.
you quietly observe as he orders another drink, two actually, not even bothering to ask what you wanted. he hands you a glass with a salted rim, the clear liquid made you believe it was either vodka or tequila, either way you gulped it down in no time and squeeze the lime on the side as chaser. you didn’t have much to drink but his presence alone was already enough to make you feel tipsy. “i thought you said you were never coming back to the city?” you blurt out, instantly scolding yourself for bringing up the past this quickly. it was just the undying curiosity of wanting to know the inner depths of him, not the stonewall of a persona he portrays to be. “i don’t know, guess i just felt like visiting. also had some unfinished business to attend to.” there he goes again with those subtle answers, toying with you so easily. his responses have always annoyed you to a certain extent but this feels even more strange for some reason. what’s the “unfinished business” he’s referring to?
“so” he pauses, never actually finishing his thought. “so..” you awkwardly mimic, hoping he’ll spit out whatever the hell he has to say. it took some time before he clears his throat and takes a sip of what seemed like his fiftieth drink tonight. “soo, do you…maybe wanna get out of here?” you’re not sure what’s with the shy act suddenly, he wasn’t this timid when you first met him. it’s like you’re meeting a whole new person. “uhm, sure i guess” you spoke hesitantly, taking his hand as he reaches out for yours. bumping into loads of drunk people while he weaved you through the crowd, it felt like multiple eternities before you’ve found the exit. he lights a cigarette before heading down the vintage spiral staircase, still hand in hand with you. “goddamn… look at your fine ass. still just as sexy as i remember you last time mamas.” he gracefully compliments, walking slightly behind in attempts of getting better sight at the back view of the form fitting dress you wore. his hand left yours in favor of wrapping around your waist. “t-thanks.” you reply sheepishly, hoping that he doesn’t notice how flushed your cheeks are.
before getting in his car, there was one more thing you needed closure with, the one thing that constantly kept you up at night. “i don’t mean to be this straightforward but, i want to know your name. i know this probably sounds really lame and pathetic but it’s been eating me up inside since the day we met and… i just- i think i deserve the right to know is all.” you wanted to scream at your poor delivery, sounding nowhere near as confident as you did in your head. the cigarette was still tucked between his lips, taking another long drag before answering you. “damn, even after all this time i still occupy your mind sweetheart? that’s adorable,” he teases, reveling in on your confession. “but i suppose i can agree with you since i did keep you guessing for so long. it’s only fair you should know, right?” that sly little smirk never left his face, he knows exactly how to mess with you. “it’s jungkook. and you are?” ah, so he really does have a name. “y/n.” you mutter, looking down at the pavement. “that’s pretty, i like it. suits you well.” his hand raises yours to his lips, kissing it gently, “nice to formally meet you y/n.” your eyes dart at him reluctantly, hoping your palms weren’t too clammy. “you too, jungkook.” none of this still felt real to you, you wanted to pinch yourself and wake up immediately. “it’s kinda hot the way you say my name.” he casually admits, the grin on his face deepens, “that won’t be the only thing you’ll be screaming at the top of your lungs tonight though.”
✦•┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈•✦
this certainly wasn’t the first (or last) time you found yourself like this. getting severe brush burn from the carpet by being obediently on your knees, swiftly bobbing your head as tears stream down your face, ruining your precious mascara. the only audible sounds were his groans echoing in the room of this giant suite at the four seasons. it gave a sense of familiarity, and oddly enough you found comfort in being in such a compromised situation. especially with him again. “fuck, you’re so pretty,” he grunts, grabbing a fistful of hair, never taking his eyes off you. “look even prettier with my cock stuffed deep in your mouth.” his words sent chills, all you wanted to do was keep pleasing him. your mind goes hazy from the end of his shaft hitting the back of your throat, other than the tears, you showed no outright emotion—you had to endure this, you’ve been praying for this moment since your first ever encounter. big doe eyes look up at him innocently as you suck the soul out of him, all the shiny gloss you wore on your lips now completely transferred onto him - in this perspective, you were utterly perfect.
“shit- you’re so good at this..” he hisses, watching as you kneel beneath him, saliva glistening on your chin as you gag all over his cock. you do the best you can to fit all of him, you did learn from the best after all. you hum against him in response, feeling his cock twitch from the sudden vibrations. if you keep going like this he’s bound to cum for sure, but he doesn’t want to give you that satisfaction - he wants to have all the power and control. “get up.” he spat harshly, if you swirl your tongue around him like that one more time he feels as tho he’s about to combust. the choice of only taking him further in made him even angrier. “did you not fucking hear me? i said get. the. fuck. up.” he pulls your hair tighter to yank your head back, forcing a semi-loud *pop* with your lips as you detach from his cock, swallowing the string of drool from the corner of your mouth. silly you for keep going, you should’ve listened the first time. now your forever fantasy of getting to suck him dry and drink his cum has sadly been cut short... “since you’re so damn greedy for this cock why don’t you go stand up against that window while i fuck you, hm?” your face becomes mortified when you haven’t realized just how big those windows truly were. it took up a quarter of the living room and the curtains were never closed which you also failed to notice. you were at the top floor of this 52 story building but still, you were rightfully nervous out of your mind.
the next thing you knew, your body’s pressed up to the cold glass, his big hands caressing both sides of your waist and trailing kisses to the exposed skin on your back. you watch the faint reflection of him toying with the hem of your mini dress, slowly pulling it up then stopping when he gets to a certain point. “oh.. what’s this here?” he asks, glancing down at your butterfly tattoo, his fingertips lightly brushing over the fresh ink. “guess you aren’t so innocent as i thought you were.” you shook your head, biting your lip when he gropes your ass, “n-never was i-innocent.” you quietly mewl. “oh yeah?” he breaths warmly against your neck, hiking the dress up further. “then be a good little slut for me and don’t speak unless i tell you to.” the palm of his hand slaps your cheek hard enough to leave a visible print, pushing you up against the window more. you were enjoying every single minute of this, you were so elated that you could cry again. you feel his touch down lower, grazing over your folds to feel how wet you are. “shit, you’re already dripping like this just from sucking me off? always knew you were such a filthy whore.” two fingers slid into your heat with ease, pumping them in and out. “nngh~” you moan lowly, “shh, quiet for me doll. wait ‘til i fill you with my cock then you can scream all you want.” when he pulls them out his chest collides with your back, rubbing himself between your folds and bringing his drenched fingers up to your mouth. of course, you open eagerly to suck on his sleek digits, you remember doing this exact thing last time. history truly does repeat itself.
once he fully settles in, the clench of you around him makes his brain all fuzzy, you feel so warm and inviting, could stay like this forever. “fuck.. so fucking tight” he husks, firmly gripping at your waist before he begins moving. first he goes at a normal pace, stuffing you nice and slow with delicate kisses to your shoulders. he soon built up more momentum, thrusting in and out of your soaking cunt as bodies clash together. you arch your back more as he his cock hits your walls deeper, mumbling a bunch of gibberish as he fucks you completely dumb. “what’s that doll? i can’t hear you, speak the fuck up.” he orders sternly, producing another harsh, loud slap to your ass - never letting up on his stamina. “ughh f-fuck! you’re so b-big, feels sso goood.” you whine, feeling nothing but cockdumb at this point. “yeah? you like the way i stretch this pussy out? gonna cream all over my cock just like you did for me last time baby?” his strokes get rougher with each question. “yes…yes.. oh fuck- jungkook! jungkookk!” you chant over and over like you’re casting a spell, the ring of his name slips on your tongue smoother than the pungent liquor you drank earlier. “only i can fuck you as good as this right? have you acting this obedient and submissive? bet you were manifesting this shit all long, just can’t enough of my cock can you?” the questions just won’t stop, and the waterworks soon start up again, you’re not sure how much more you can endure.
“don’t even fucking answer, i already know anyway.” his cockiness really pissed you off but at least he had the evidence to back his arrogance up. his pace grew relentless as he watches himself disappear in you, still gawking over the pretty design of the butterfly. you felt so close - that same knot tied in your stomach like you felt before; you haven’t had this feeling since the very first time, as if only he was the one to unlock this level of passion out of you. “g-gonna cum s-soonn.” you alert him, tasting the faint bitter saltiness from your tears pooling down. a pair of strong hands connect around your neck, wrapping tightly as he rams in harder, making your whole body tremble and shake. “go ahead, do it.” jungkook encourages supportively, “cum with me doll face.” those words were all you needed to hear to let go, screaming out his name and a slew of more curses. you feel your release drip down your leg, mind completely blank from the buzz taking over you. he quickly pulls out, dumping all his white seed onto your back as you whine from being empty again. you could honestly go for another round if he asked you to right now. it was fun while it lasted though, looking over at the skyline view while getting your back blown out - seemed like a literal dream come true.
the aftermath was quiet, you didn’t say much and neither did he, you reverted right back to your shy demeanor. when you cleaned up yourself in the bathroom you grabbed your purse to rummage for your house keys but he stops you mid action. “where’re you going?” that only confuses you more, where else would you be going? “uh, home?” you meekly respond, unsure of his real intentions. “don’t be like that, you can stay the night here.” he suggests, “my plane leaves in the morning though but you can sleep here for as long as you’d like, i’ll book this room for an extra day.” it was sweet of him to do that for you, it was the least he could do to mellow your sorrows. you were hoping to be with him for a bit longer but what were you expecting really? he’s just someone who comes and goes, taking everything you had to give, just to leave you high and dry all over again. “come here.” jungkook directs assertively, patting his thigh for you to sit on his lap, you waste no time in propping yourself onto him. “don’t be sad doll, cheer up. we’ll meet again sometime yeah?” you nod, feeling so hopeless and broken inside, he’s only saying this because he probably just wants to fuck again. that’s all you are to him, a fucktoy and nothing more. even though he sees you in that light, it still makes you feel validated in some twisted kind of way. at least right now you have all of his attention, it may just be momentarily but it felt so good. one thing was definitely made clear by him though - he was deeply, undeniably, in pure lust with you.
483 notes · View notes
adventuringblind · 10 months
Text
Nerospicy has never been so cute
Oscar Piastri x Nerodivergent!reader
Genre: fluff... angst if you squint.
Request: nope but they are open! Max, Charles, Oscar, Lando, George, Daniel and Pierre are on the list. Also open for poly fics if anyone is interested.
Summary: just cute fluff between Oscar and his autistic coded partner
Warnings: idk people who can't mind their own business IG
Notes: This is self-indulgent, and I do not care. I just wanna feel supported, okay? T_T
Also, I've sent up my account to let tips be enabled. I was debating whether or not to say this because i dont want to sound like im begging, but frankly, people opinions do not matter me me. If you like my writing and want to support me, please consider tipping my posts or my blog. I put a lot of effort into my writing, and it would mean the world to me. Obviously, I won't have my feeling hurt if you ignor this but I wanted to put it out there.
Masterlist
Tumblr media
You weren't sure if you'd ever fit in with people. Something about you always felt different from others.
Maybe it was that you didn't understand their antics. Their jokes weren't funny to you, or you didn't understand them. They seemed you as sensitive, but you're really just incredibly empathic.
You were interested in things that they weren't. You hated certain foods, textures, and feeling in general.
Then somtimes it all became too much. Alone in a dark room with headphones in. Attempting to soothe yourself from the overwhelming feelings running through your mind and body.
Your friends wanted to go out of a Friday night. Previously, you were feeling alright and decided to go with. Instantly regretting your decision as soon as you walked into the door of the club.
It was here that you met Oscar.
He didn't really want to be here. He'd given into the pleas of his friends who didn't want to go without him. He liked people and going out to have fun, but he wasn't in the mood right now.
He noticed you sitting at the bar nursing a drink. You looked like you wouldn't bother him, and the bar was already crowded, so he sat down on the stool next to yours.
You briefly looked over at him. Finding your drink to be more entertaining than the male next to you.
You were getting more overwhelmed by the second. The discreetly hidden earbuds only help so much. The vibration of the bass and the lights combined made you want to puke. You wanted to get out of there, but your body was ever so slowly shutting down.
Oscar noticed how your body was shrinking into itself. He didn't want to stare, but it was obvious you were in distress.
"Are you alright?" Asked the Australian.
You didn't look up at him, and words became too difficult, so you settled for shaking your head no.
Oscar thought about it for a minute. "Do you want to get out of here? I'm not in the mood to party, and you don't seem like you are either." He grimaced at how awkward he felt like he sounded. "I promise I'm not a serial killer or something." He laughed but it was more at himself then anything.
Eager to leave, regardless of who the man was, you stood up and made your way towards the door. You didn't have a tab, just water in your glass to make you feel like you belonged.
Once outside the door, you breathe a sigh of relief. Less people, less vibration, and less light.
You wanted to cry, though. Your body still feeling everything.
"Do you need anything? A ride home even? I probably seem like suck a creep right now." Oscar rubs his temples.
For the first time, you fully examine the male. Shocked to see kind features and gentle eyes. He was wearing a plain t-shirt and jeans.
"Thank you." You managed. Not wanting him to feel like a weirdo any longer.
He paused and looked up at you. Wanting to find your eyes but noticing your eyes did not want to find his. "I'm Oscar, by the way." He reached out his hand for you to shake.
Which you did hesitantly. "I'm Y/N."
~
You had explained to Oscar that you didn't live close to here. Over an hour away at best. You'd been exploring the town with friends earlier in the day when they decided to end the night at the club.
He offered you a stay at his apartment for the night and then he could take you home in the morning.
"Actually, can I take you on a date first?" He'd found you intriguing and beautiful, and he didn't want this to be for one night.
You were nervous, to say the least, but when he offered to take you anywhere you wanted to go, the deal seemed appealing. Furthermore, there was a music store you wanted to look at that your friends had passed by. So when he offered, you pointed him in the direction.
"Can I ask you something?" His eyes never left the rode, and you were grateful for it. It helped the conversation flow easier for you.
"Sure." You shrugged.
"Why are you wearing earbuds?"
Oh. You dreaded this. Talking about the way your body and mind work had yet to end well.
Your hesitancy did not do unnoticed, so Oscar quickly followed up with "you don't have to answer if it's uncomfortable."
"Well, it's just that- loud noise makes me overwhelmed, and things like headphones help drown it out." You fumbled.
"Oh I use those at work too sometimes cause it can get loud."
He seemed so natural saying it. His calm demeanor helping you to read him a bit better.
He then proceeded to tell you about his job and ask questions about you. He was very clear when he spoke. Eventually helping you to wind down.
This guy you just met was taking you on a date. Was it a good idea to out yourself? Probably not, but if you didn't care for people opinions much. "I'm autistic."
"I was wondering that but didn't want to ask. I had a friend in school that was, and in some ways, you seem similar to him." He hit his head on the steering wheel. "I'm not trying to stereotype. I'm sorry that probably sounded rude."
You laughed at him. His response was one of the best you'd been given. "It's alright, it's actually kind of cool that you picked up on it."
When you arrived it the music store it was ten minutes to close. The records lined the walls, and boxes of CDs were packed to the brim. Not many people use them nowadays, but it felt comfortable in the little store.
You and Oscar browsed the music and talked about the different kinds of music you like. It felt natural. Even when you knew you were info-dumping, he just listened intently and asked questions about your interest.
Soon enough, the shopkeeper asked you both to leave. You waved a thank you and slid back into Oscar's car.
"Thank you for indulging me. I really enjoyed this." You were shocked to hear that come from him. Mainly because you felt like you talked his ear off.
The drive to his apartment was quiet, but not the awkward kind.
He opened the door for you when you arrived. His apartment was comfortable. It's not super empty or overly decorated. It's just comfortable.
"Right, so you can borrow some of my clothes for tonight and take the room, and I'll take the couch." He didn't even give you a chance to protest as he sped off to gether the essentials.
You two didn't do much sleeping that night. Wasting away the time. The clock moving two fast for your liking. You two spent hours conversing and laughing with each other.
Somewhere along the line, Oscar passed out on the couch, and you had made your way to his room like he said to.
You two exchanged numbers when it was finally time for you to leave his car. He promised to stay in contact with you.
A promise he followed through on. It didn't take long til you were following him around to races.
You were mostly watched from the quiet places in the McLaren paddock. Sometimes, it even curled up in Oscar's driver room. He didn't mind, though, making it a small game you played between the two of you.
You and Lando got along nicely as well. Oscar only getting frustrated when it comes to both of you and your eating habits.
You were manageable, but Lando was just ridiculous in his eyes.
You didn't actively say your autistic but definitely explained why you are the way you are. Eventually, people came to their own conclusions. The gossip pages included.
You didn't really understand the criticism at first. People had always misjudged and misunderstood. But when they started nitpicking your every move, it became annoying.
The names didn't bother you. It was them saying Oscar deserved someone who wasn't as weird.
It followed you everywhere. These labels that the media had given you.
You were happy with Oscar. He treated you so well, and you were doing your best to support him. You two created your own small routines that you enjoyed.
You couldn't even walk through the paddock without journalists trying to question you. The physical souch of their bodies and shouting so they could be heard sending your body into overdrive. You liked the environment of racing, but this was over your limit.
You were so glad you texted Oscar you had arrived. Him responding that he was already on his way to you.
He noticed the journalists first, then you at the center of attention. Your hands in your hair and your breathing rapid. You looked like you might scream.
His legs moved faster than his mind as he put himself in between you and anyone else. Very gently, placing a hand on your shoulder to try and guide you away.
You did end up screaming. Your body needing to release all the pent-up emotions you'd been wanting to release earlier. Thankfully, it was somewhere private and muffled by Oscar's jacket.
You didn't want the so close like that. They were too much. They questions they asked were incredibly invasive. Some even going as far as to ask about intimate things.
You managed to explain to Oscar what happened. His listening intently, watching you play with his fingers in the pattern your head had come up with.
"I'm sorry. I'm not trying to make things hard for you."
Oscar smiled and simply shook his head. "You aren't making things difficult, and on the contrary, you and your nerodivergent brain have never looked so cute."
"I just got done screaming and trying to self-soothe."
"It doesn't matter. You still look absolutely adorable." He kissed the top of your head, hoping to convey what he was feeling without words.
Am hour later, Oscar had posted to his socials about you. A letter to anyone who wants to form an opinion.
"Leave my girlfriend be. Neither of us likes having our personal lives invaded. You like to assume things but don't have all the facts. I love her very much, and that should be all that matters."
As you read it and looked at Oscar, who was giving you a goofy smile for being proud of what he'd just done. You realized just how much he loved you. Despite your labels, he saw past them and loved you for you.
573 notes · View notes
Note
wibta for getting a man kicked out of a rp discord server?
ok so like. im a minor. im barely a teen. under 16 kind of minor. this comes into play, so remember that.
there's been problems in the server with me before (MAINLY not my fault but i didnt make them better) so people dont rlly trust me.
so anyway, new guy in the server. giving me and my friends a weird vibe and he's certainly doing weird things. (such AS! bomb jokes, not spoiling what you need to spoil, and just lording it over us that HE'S AN ADULT WITH A MAJOR IN COLLEGE!!!!) didnt know what to do so we let it slide. he continued being weird like that but nothing big. kept mentioning how we all gave off minor vibes, even the adults (he was an adult btw)
i wanted to show a silly little outfit! (Nothing sexual, not even showing my face. Just neck down. Hawaiin t-shirt, tanktop, and jeans.) For some reason he compliments my collarbones??? he KNOWS im a minor (they werent even prominent in the pic. neck muscles ig?) Adults and kids scold him, yknow. He INSISTS he didnt know it was weird, but cmon, how do you make constant fetish jokes and NOT know?? youre an adult.
stuff happens, my sister hears ab it and messes with his rp character. she was mad and decided to yknow. bully the character. he blames someone in the server and it all blows up. so i have to dm this guy.
i explain it all and apologize, and he apologizes too (and trauma dumps, bit whatever) , but for the wrong thing? so i correct him and say "ermm...NO. its bc you made comments on my body?" long convo ensues, of him trying to explain he really doesnt know that its sexual and trying to change the topic.
Finally, he says something like "your collarbones just reminded me of a roman sculpture" ...💀 sorry bro what. huh. ermm. so i tell him "Hey 😁 dont." and he says "I just meant they're like a beacon of pleasing aesthetic" or something. UHH... so i tell the server mod and the mod says theyll kick him out bc they fear for my safety ig?
i got.someone else kicked oit and i regret it. im worried people will say that i shouldve been more mature and explajned why it was bad, bc he didnt know! im more worried that theyd be right.
SO! WIBTA for getting a man kicked out!?
What are these acronyms?
131 notes · View notes
pixiecaps · 1 month
Note
hi. im sorry if this is a weird question but. what makes you keep watching smps?? just, what motivates you if everytime things and characters and plotlines captivate you and they almost never end in a satisfactory way. it might be because im a newbie in myct but every server i learned about seems to just last very little or burn in a horible death. what makes you want to go again and again to new servers.
okay to start off here there’s two layers and one is more of a personal thing and another basically advice.
first i dont talk about this much but my brain just latches onto things and one of my longest lasting interests is on minecraft. probably since the game was released. i think ive probably watched more minecraft content than tv shows & movies in my entire life. because my brain just works that way
now second. i need to this to be clarified everyone has a different reason for sticking along and i think this is a wonderful question that so many mcyt bloggers would have different answers to that would provide a lot of cool insight and perspective. dont think the question is weird at all.
BUT for me i think it was around smplive which was 2019 that was rough that was really the first and only time that i wanted to stop watching minecraft completely. for a lot for a reasons rlly. and yet i didnt!!! and thats because i realized that i didnt want to let something i cherished and enjoyed be tarnished by the bad. its so important to allow yourself grace whenever something bad happens with mcyt content or creators themselves because you arent the one to blame for something turning sour. too much good and incredible content and communities come from these unfortunately ended smps and whatnot to just to be seen as that one thing. i think sometimes, out of spite even, i feel like I NEED TO NOT LET THESE THINGS BE OVERSHADOWED BY THE BAD. because so many smps are fucking wonderful experiences with amazing creators who dedicate so much time to them and who are so funny and talented and for them to not be recognized for that at all is a shame. i loved every smp ive watched and i dont regret watching any of them. theyve all given me so much joy and laughter and its important to remember that. so ig another part of it all is allowing yourself to appreciate the good and not let the bad stop you from experiencing all the future content thats made from mcyt that will be incredible. because there will be more smps and there will so many mcyt creators and the ball isnt gonna stop rolling. sometimes it just boils down to something as simple as not letting the bad experiences stop you from seeing the good the community has to offer. as well as for me outside of the content itself with smps the fanbases have singlehandedly taken a part of my heart. theres just so many wonderful people in these communities who have put out so much positivity that i cant possibly find myself regretting it or not going back in whenever the next smp drops.
much love anon hope that makes a little bit of sense
72 notes · View notes
f1oricide · 7 months
Text
We all have cravings
Yan! Mikey x reader
This is kinda like a part two for the Yan Mikey hc I made. Also just know this is strictly fiction, I do NOT support this Irl if you do please seek help. This is my contribution to horrortober ig. I did not proof read this at all so I hope u enjoy my brain rot.
Tw: build up, poor writing, blood, kidnapping, yandere themes, cannibalistic themes, anxiety, panic attacks, nonconsensual touching (nonsexual), overall bad time for y/n
I hate my job. Customer service is bitch in a half, I swear to god customer service employees are doing gods work. I can’t even wipe tables in piece without some lady yelling at me about how her frappe has too much ice like it’s a global issue. What’s worse is how I spend 8 hours of my life for this, I need a better job.
Walking down the slightly empty streets of New York, my body aching for my beloved bed. I look at the shops as I walk by, absorbing all the trinkets and doodads inside. One place though, stopped me in my tracks, a quaint little bakery near by an alleyway. the inside had a golden glow to it, it was almost unreal, beautiful, and the smell was amazing.
so as any normal young adult would do, I walk in, not knowing what I want to buy. I instantly feel regret setting inside my stomach, why did I walk in? Oh god I can’t just leave without buying anything, maybe they didn’t noticed I walked in? Looking around right as that thought sped through my mind, I made eye contact with the baker, they greeted me, but god of course they saw me.
Well due to social obligation, I HAVE to buy something. Panic started to rise as I still have no idea what to buy, knowing the baker isn’t even rushing me, the panic is still there. Just as I thought all hope was lost, I felt another pair of eyes on me. Turning I see a man in a trench coat and fedora, staring at me through the glass like I’m one of the wonders of the world. Weirdo. We make eye context for a second before he snaps out of it, and stumbles inside.
Thank god, an out I thought as the man walked closer to the counter. “You can order first if you’d like, Im still deciding.” We made eye contact again, despite the added difficulty the fedora he was wearing made. “Wow, thanks stranger! You know this place has some delicious raspberry sweet rolls! I totally recommend them if you haven’t tried any!” Sweet rolls? As a recommendation? This dude just keeps getting weirder and weirder, but considering I don’t know what else to get, I might as well try it, what’s the harm? “Hmm that does sound tempting, maybe I will” making sure to add a smile after, the man seems to beam at my remark. “Trust me, they are AMAZING especially with some chamomile tea and vanilla scones”
Pfft- What are you? A rich old white British lady? “Pfft hahahah! Good one, it really does sound like I am huh?” He continues to laugh even harder as the “joke” sets in as I stare in shock and horror. Did I really just say that out loud? “My names Mikey, what’s yours stranger?” He says while wiping a tear from his eye. “Oh uhm- y/n” were doing introductions now I guess. “Well y/n it’s nice to meet you” holding his hand out, I didn’t fail to notice the green skin and the three fingers outstretched towards me.
Oh my god, what the hell?! An excuse, think of an excuse. “We should probably order, don’t wanna hold up the line” good one me. He looks behind us and I follow suit; low and behold, no one else of course. He chuckles before turning back to me and says, “I guess you have a point”. Retracting his hand he turns to the cashier and places his order. The cashier told him that he’s gonna have to wait for 20 minutes for it to be ready, Mikey nods and turns to me before asking the cashier for those raspberry sweet rolls. Oh god-
“Oh can you make those separate?” I sputter before Mikey quickly answers, “I insist, I don’t want you to waste your money if you don’t like it!” Convincing argument plus free food? You win this round “Mikey”.
After paying Mikey and I go to sit down at a nearby booth. Maybe I have him pegged wrong my mind started rationalizing. Maybe it’s a medical condition? We sat for a good minute in silence as I’m overthinking per usual. “So, what do plan to do with a whole loaf of zope bread?” I say to avoid the loud thoughts buzzing through my head. “Oh! Well I was planning on making it myself but I might as well try this places zone, I’m planning on pairing it with some-“ before he can continue, the cashier called out the raspberry sweet rolls to catch out attention.
I got the rolls and walked back to the booth. “Well, here’s my order”
“So…see ya…”
Before I could even take a step though, Mikey shot up “whaaat?! B-but you didn’t even try it! I want to see if you like it or not!” He stared at me with pleading eyes, like a dog begging it’s human for a treat. Why is he so invested in this? “I didn’t think you’d want to know my feedback..” “well duhhh, I recommend it to you, I just have to know i hit the nail on the head!” Oh… well whatever it takes to leave faster. I grabbed a roll and popped it in my mouth, it was EXPLODING with flavor. I think Mikey could tell with the knowing smirk that spread across his face.
After that we started talking more in the restaurant, I got to know him more. Apparently he has three more brothers, when he made me guess which one he was, it wasn’t hard to tell he’s the youngest. Eventually his order was done, disappointment sent in me because, well, this was actually a pleasant interaction with a not so total stranger. Acquaintance if you will. By the time his order was ready, I already ate all the rolls, so I guess this is it.
“It was nice meeting you, I didn’t really plan staying out this late.” I said as we walked out, the sky nearly dark. “It was reallyyy nice meeting you too, you know…” he stated reaching in his pocket. “If you need any more expert cooking advice, give me a call!”
.
.
.
That should’ve been it, but noooo, I just HAD to call back, we just HAD to get to know each other more, he just HAD to show me his “secret” identity…I just HAD to fall in love…no..for his tricks
It all started with food, a fucking roll no less. He fed me and like a wild animal I kept coming back. I ignored all the red flags, all my friends concerns, not noticing how they quickly left my life after venting to Mikey about them. I kept coming back for more like a dumb dumb animal.
But now here I am, a small closet with one twin bed and barren walls, no fan or vent. What did I do to deserve this? What avengers level threat did I cause to end up here? There’s barely anything to do besides relive old mistakes and sweat. Dare I say it, I even miss my job and being a useful member of society.
The door finally opened the reveal the devil himself, Mikey. But somethings off…I’ve been here long enough to read Mikey’s face like a book. He looks nervous, like he wants something nervous… fear started to creep within me, what did he want now?
Usually he brings stuff in like crafts or food and water, but this time, it’s just him. Closing the door behind him, he speaks. “Hi my Angel…” a grimace grew on my face. That nickname used to make me swoon, but now it makes me want to throw up. “I have a very important question to ask you”
This was the question that ruined my life…and I thought it couldn’t get any worse… he wanted me…ME. To… just the thought is making me gag- EAT HIM. LITERALLY. The thoughts in my head started swarming me, his justifications and explanations fall on deaf ears as the room swirls around me. He gently grabs my forearms snapping me back, since when did I start crying? I can’t even breath right, I feel like I’m drowning.
“Listen, I know it sounds really really REALLY crazy, but I need you to trust me… you’ll be okay. This will be good for us! We’ll be together all the time isn’t that great?” No, it’s not great, far from it actually. “I won’t force you to do it now of course, take your time, I’ll wait, I’ll always wait for you”
Ever since then, no matter how much I stalled, it was only putting off the inevitable. No matter what I did, it never swayed him. Actually, it did, but not how I would’ve wanted. He started giving me less and less to eat. It started off small with a few less portions, but I never noticed the twitch in his smile whenever I put down his encouragement to chomp on his arm. He started giving less portions and no breakfast anymore, id be lucky if he gave me dinner.
Im hungry, starving even. It hurts, it hurts so so much. He would always come in more often, lifting his arm and encouraging me to bite. “Come on, you can do it baby”. It pisses me off. How dare you kidnap me after I gave you my trust. How dare you put me in a cramped tiny room, having to solely rely on you for everything. HOW DARE YOU force me to break EVERYTHING I thought was RIGHT all while you look at me and TELL ME YOU LOVE ME.
.
.
.
I hate you. I failed to notice hot tears running down my face. I hate you. I also failed to notice how hard I shook, how my teeth grinding against each other until it hurt. FUCKING I HATE YOU
Red, it’s all I can see. I used laughing when any character in media say they saw red, can you blame me? It sounds so…dumb, but I get it now. I understand, how ironic. Apparently, I could..taste red too…
Snapping back to reality a brick of drowsiness crashes down onto me, I must’ve had some high adrenaline because my jaw started hurting like a bitch. Liquid runs down my jaw, it’s warm..fresh. Why do I feel something on my tongue-
Shock slaps me in the face, my eyes go as wide as saucers, what have I done?? Looking up at Mikey I see the sheer amount of euphoria in his face, his eyes holding so much love, it might spill out. I need this thing out of me, I need HIM out. I gag trying to spit it out but he quickly puts his hand on my mouth. “you can do it, swallow quickly, it’ll all be over, your doing amazing” I don’t even think before swallow the lump down. The worst part about this whole experience was feeling the lump of meat slide down my throat and plop into my stomach. My mouth instantly starts salivating, and I’m forced to question if it’s because of the hunger still in me or the sheer amount of disgust and horror in me trying to throw it up while Mikey whispers sweet nothings in my ear.
Everything is too much. The air is too hot, too heavy, too wet. It feels horrible on my skin. It’s too noisy, to crowded, too much. Mikey only hugs me tight to his chest, his arm still bleeding , all while I lean in considering how it’s the only comfort I’ll get out of this hell hole. “I knew you’d trust me…I love you.. so so sooo much. I’ll never leave your side. We’re bound together as one, isn’t that great?”
All I could do was sob violently, slowly passing out, everything slowly fading to black.
142 notes · View notes