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gaetoeinhaler · 3 years

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𝑫𝑬𝑪𝑰𝑺𝑰𝑶𝑵𝑺 || among us x gender neutral reader

chapter 1

interactive story

masterlist

_________________

smoke blasted against your helmet, making your eyes shut close on reflex of seeing it. you were being sent from headquarters to a group. all the training you had gone through was meant to pay up, and if it didn't then you knew the consequences. you had seen it happen many times. from being shot in the head as the person's brains and blood splattered everywhere, to gassing them and suffocating the person. it was all brutal but necessary.

you knew what you needed to do, and why you were being sent to this place. from doing tasks to figuring out who killed who. you were being sent there to help the rest of the people with getting the spaceship up and running once more, and continue the mission.

your eyes scanned the profiles of the people you'd be working with.

shiro, a white colored crewmate who'd lost an eye. it doesnt list how, but only shows a little information about them. they were known for their quiet but strict behavior, mainly having tasks with cleaning and reactor.

after them was nikko, who had a black suit on with midnight hair and purple eyes. he seemed an interesting person, noting that he had cat ears. he was known to play around in o2, though you sort of saw it as something cute.

from the bottom to top, you recognized everyone on the list. shiro, hito, nikko, noah, aiko, olivia, lily, ian, hibiki, sky, and amber. then, there was you. (y/n) is what your mentor had named you.

the engine had started to slow down, signaling a landing. your head perked up, looking around your surroundings. the area around was black, with small lights that resembled stars. and down below was grey. most likely the ground of the planet you were about to land on.

it was a bumpy landing, but it didn't bother you much. "are you ready?" one of the staff, who had been with you the whole ride here, as well as a few others, asked. you nodded your head, understanding what your duty was here.

another staff laid their hand on your shoulder, looking into your helmet. "are you sure? we could transfer you to a new group." you shook your head, not wanting to be much of a burden to them anymore. "no thank you," you had replied,"but i can do this." confidence lingered in your voice.

they nodded and opened the door. you walked down the steps and through the tunnel, only to be blasted with smoke like air once more. the door opened, revealing another tunnel to which you walked through. looking out the windows, you looked at the stars and planets around. they were small and big, lumpy and smooth. the different shapes of the planets had always made you fascinated with them. but, they were unknown, which is why groups were being sent out to search them.

halting, you came upon another door. it opened, revealing a group of crewmates. though, they didn't seem like the average group of crewmates. where they'd look almost exactly the same, yet this one was more unique.

you recognized the white crewmate, having read their profile. they were shiro. they looked almost exactly like the profile, except their expression looked more aggressive then emotionless. like they didn't want you here. they had the same white fading into grey/black hair, the eyepatch covering their left eye, and the candy purplish pink right eye as in the profile. they wore a white suit, yet it was more white then you'd see on the usual white crewmate. they were always filthy and had some sort of dirt on it. their's didn't seem to have even the smallest speck of dirt.

next to them, was a cyan crewmate. you had read his profile, knowing that he was transgender. his past name was nia, but now is noah. he had short, but extremely curly pastel purple hair with dark skin. he wore a happy expression, with a small smile but eyes screaming in exitement. he seemed like a good person to get to know.

next to him was a black crewmate, names nikko. you read his profile as well. though, he was more unusual yet unique then the rest. he had a pair of cat ears and a tail. his eyes were different colors, his right green and the left is purple. he had dark grey hair, and wore a black suit. he had a little fang hanging from his smile. you had remembered reading the notes that he plays more in o2 then helps with tasks.

beside him, yet taller them him, was a like crewmate. she was way taller, almost able to hover over him. she had hip-length, maybe past that, bright red hair with snow white skin. her eyes were a shade of green. she seemed friendly, from how she looked. her name was amber, as the profile had said.

then near her was a brown crewmate. his name was hibiki. he was short, but looked ready to rush around the table. he looked as if he was holding himself back, making only little jumpy movements as his hands were in tight fists. he had tan skin, with what looked to be blue eyes. he had longer hair, that was very dark in color. maybe a really dark brown or probably a full on black color. his hair went past his shoulders, possibly stopping at his mid back.

next to him, standing behind him more like, was a purple crewmate. and from her looks, similar to shiro's expression, she definitely was not happy. she had short but bone straight, brownish black hair. she had a palish tan skin. her eyes were a shade of light blue. her name was lily.

and beside her was a red crewmate. you had read on their profiles that they were brother and sister, possibly twins. you didnt know, but you knew they looked similar. his name was hito, yet he was just a bit taller then lily. he had a lighter shade of brown hair, that was messy and covered some of his eyes. he had more of a tan skin, with brown freckles over his cheeks. his eyes were dark green instead of a light blue like his sister's. he also seemed nicer then his sister.

near him, next to a yellow crewmate, was a small pink crewmate. she had shoulder length hair, that was a shade of soft green. they had a few pale blue hair pine clipping aside some of her hair. they had soft green eyes to go with their hair, yet she had a frightful expression that mixed with what seemed to be happiness. they seemed shy, yet she also seemed to look innocent and sweet. her name was aiko.

the yellow crewmate beside them, was smaller then her. she had curly, blonde-yellow hair with brown eyes. she looked even more innocent and sweet then aiko. you also took notice that the small crewmate was holding the pink crewmate's hand. her name was sky.

near them was a blue crewmate, just a few inches taller then aiko. his name was ian, from reading his profile. they had dark skin, like noah did, yet it was slightly paler. he had a set of bangs, with black hair that was mostly neat and in place with only some strands sticking up in a few places. they had dark brown eyes, to go with their look, as well as a few freckles plattered amongst his nose.

beside ian was olivia, who was standing right next to ian. you remembered that olivia was also transgender, from her previous name being olive and her newest is olivia. she seemed to tower over ian, much like amber did with nikko. she had brown hair, with white highlights. she wore a dark green suit, her arms crossed as she eyed you. she seemed more angry, then emotionless, sort of like lily.

shiro was the first among them all to speak. "welcome, (y/n). we have been waiting for quite a while." they said, a sigh leaving their lips. "im sure you read our profiles, as we did with yours."

you nodded, stepping forward a little more. shiro pointed to your suit,"you can take your helmet off. the oxygen tank has been repaired." they said. you nodded and took your helmet off, holding it in your arms.

you could feel a pair of eyes on you, taking note that aiko was staring at you. they turned to ian, tugging at his suit. ian turned to the crewmate, raising a brow. aiko asked their question, or well, whispered it to them. ian shrugged and looked back to you, before asking a question, probably what aiko had asked them.

"why is your suit multicolored- er, rainbow?" they asked. you then remembered that your suit wasn't a solid color like theirs, it had almost all the colors, except for white, brown, and black. it was rainbow. you shrugged, only knowing that you seemed to be the only person with this sort of suit color. you didnt know why you had this suit color, just that this was the one you were given. you did wonder that, out of every crewmate youve met, you were the only with this suit color. it didn't make sense, but you never questioned it.

"im not sure," you replied. the others whispered amongst themselves. shiro coughed, which caused them all to stop. they already looked displeased.

"one of you, show (y/n) around. before i lose my mind." they grumbled and walked away. "i dont care who it is, just dont drive them insane. and don't make a mess."

as soon as they left the room, to continue tasks probably, two crewmates raised their hands. nikko, the cat boy who looked ready to run off or play. and aiko, who seemed to be interested in you.

[[ this is where you will make the decision. you can only choose one, and each one will differ depending on which you choose. just remember, each choice you make can NOT be changed, nor can you go back and choose another. comment on which choice you choose, and the choice with the most results/votes will be how the next part of the story will be]]

> choose nikko to show you around

> choose aiko to show you around

#amongus #among us #among us x reader #among us x gender neutral reader #x reader #x gender neutral reader #reader insert #gender neutral reader insert #sunburntcorndog

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munsooon · 4 years

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for once the ice cream machine isnt broken

someone asked for a part two to McAngst with a side of Fries and so i ran with it since the event happend like two years ago and ive gone through some character development

its amazing the things distance can do. It had been approximately 3 months since you’d last seen the Doctor. the first month was hard however, getting settled in Earth was already a struggle in itself but the constant nagging thoughts of the Doctor at the back of your head didn't help. you cried yourself to sleep most times, you mostly stayed indoors, curled up in a ball on your couch, old show reruns playing on your television. you indulged in the sadness, knowing if you bottled it all up you’d be a ticking bomb of despair. so thats how you stayed for the first month. sad and miserable. you’re sure you’d cried more in that month than you ever will in your lifetime.

after the sadness came indifference. what happened happened, and as unfortunate and messy the whole ordeal was, you had to move on. there were days were you did great! you went out, hung out with friends, went to your favorite shops and treated yourself to some cute shoes. other days were a little harder, you’d lie if you said that second month your feelings for the Doctor had completely gone. you saw him in everything you did, everywhere you went, the constant though of him was with you. if you saw a squirrel or a cat, you thought about him and the things he’d say. he’d more than likely start communicating with them and then translate the conversation to you. or when you passed by a bakery, you knew if he was there the smell would intrigue him and he’d pull you towards the scent and demand you buy him one. sometimes when you sat at the roof of your apartment, and gazed at the moon and stars, you wondered if he looked at those same stars, and missed you as much as you did him. getting over someone as amazing as the Doctor seemed almost impossible.

almost.

by the third month, the thought of him barely crossed your mind. you were able to really focus on yourself, no nagging at the back of your head. you could really go out an enjoy yourself 100%. it was only then, your heart no longer heavy, mind cleared, that you start missing the universe. you missed the thrill, the chaos, the beauty of it, but you werent going to call and ask if you could go back, your pride wouldnt let you. if it happened it happened, if it didnt you’d just have to find adventure yourself.

but after all that bad shit that has happened to you, you deserved to have some good karma. and so it happened.

it was the holiday season, and the Ponds decided to spend said holidays here on Earth, with you. You were happy of course! they were you best friends and you missed them just as much as the universe. Seeing the Doctor felt surreal, having him flash that smile at you was nice. but thats all it was. nice, there was no flutter of your heart, no butterflies, no shortness of breath, just, nice,

but you shouldve known better, because having the gang altogether called for trouble, and thats exactly what you got. and so off you were, another adventure at your feet. you missed this, them, him. River wasnt here, your dinner didnt last long enough for you to be able to catch up on everything that had happed the last three months. so when the group split, it was just you and Him. if you hadnt taken the time to heal, this- being alone with him- would've been a lot harder. for now you were just trying to catch your breath, gather your thoughts, come up with a plan to save the day.

as you gathered yourself, you could feel his eyes on you, and so you looked up at him. when your eyes met, he gave you a smile, let out a chuckle. “I missed this,” he said, and you raised a brow.”What do you mean, you're constantly running from shit, how could you miss it?” you asked, confused.

He let out a sigh, and let his head fall, his hair falling around his face, covering his eyes. “that’s not-” he took a big breath, “-thats not what i meant.” he still wasnt looking you in the eyes.

“Oh?”

“what i meant was this, running from trouble with you,”

oh fuck

“Doctor..”

“These past months have felt like forever without you,” he finally looked up again, his expression... sad.

you have an idea of where this conversation might be headed, and you wanted him to stop.

“River told me everything,” he said, voice solemn.

you jaw locked, eyebrows furrowed, body tense. you dont care, about him or River or wherever this dumb conversation was going. you were doing good, youve healed, if he truly knew about the situation he should see how good youre doing despite the absolute heartbreak you went through a few months ago, you dont understand why hes saying this.

“Dont,” was all you could say, the fear of the dam breaking too overpowering to let you say anything more.

“When i was with her i thought thats what i wanted, but after a while, without having you there, it just didnt feel right. i figured out it was you, who i wanted. and im an idiot because i’d already known that but i pushed those feelings away- i didnt think you’d like me back. and i felt lost and sad and then something was happening with River and i just let myself get swept away, and it was irrational and in the end i ended up hurting both of you..”

“Doctor, stop.”

“and i think the guilt of how everything happened and not giving you an explanation was too much for her so she told me everything and then everything made sense!” he was pacing, running his hands through his hair, eyes watery.

“Doctor thats enough,” your voice was barely above a whisper, but with those satellite for ears he had you knew he’s heard you.

“we ended things, on good terms, doesnt matter anymore shes not- with us anymore... but we ended it befire that so dont think im only saying this casue im a widow but i just wanted you to kno-”

“well i dont care! okay? whatever happened is a thing of the past and these three months ive taken the time to heal and, and get over you-” your voice was cracking, your cheeks were wet, “and i dont care anymore. those feelings aren't a part of me anymore. and id rather they stay like that."

he was quiet, eyes glossy. you probably looked worse.

"look me in the eyes and tell me you don't feel anything for me anymore," he said, slowly stepping close to you. once he was in front of you he gently cupped your face in his hands.

his big, soft, warm hands. they felt so right holding you.

you didn't look him in the eyes, you couldn't, they were so sincere, and big enough to fit the whole universe in them.

tears silently spilled from your eyes, everytime he caught them and wiped them away.

you looked into his eyes, and before you could lie and tell him you felt nothing for him, he gently kissed you.

it felt so right, to be held and kissed by the Doctor. you fear nothing in your life will ever feel as right as this.

#eleventh doctor x reader #doctor who x reader #11th doctor imagines #11th doctor x reader #doctor who imagines #doctor who

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banditthewriter · 5 years

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The Woman Without Fear - Matt Murdock

This idea was sent to me by an anon for Valentine’s Day. I don’t actually work Valentine’s day into it, haha, but hopefully you still like it darling!

Warnings: Descriptions of violence, torture, talk of needles. Take care of yourselves dears!

Tags are at the bottom. Let me know if you would like to be added to one of my tag lists!

*gif not mine*

Enjoy!

*****

It sounded like someone was crying in the distance. It was a daily instance, but this sounded different. This sounded more like someone was scared.

The sound of a slap made you jerk your head to the side. Down on the ground you saw the form of a man raising his hand to strike the crying woman again.

Not on your watch.

You dropped off of the fire escape you were crouched on as you tuned your eavesdropping device. It left you on the far end of the alley, away from the couple, and you quietly made your way forward.

He might have a weapon and you didn't want the girl to get hurt. Or you.

Close enough to be able to see him but not for him to see you just yet, you grabbed the little cylinder off your belt. With one brief squeeze, a metal shaft shot out of either end.

Bo staff in hand, you gave it a quick twirl before you stepped into the light of the streetlight.

“I think you're going to want to step away,” you said as you shifted your weight, preparing.

The guy had a strong grip on the arm of a smaller woman, his fingers turning her skin pale from the hold. She looked petrified and you were a little disheartened to see that at least some of that was directed at you.

The hood and mask you wore were to protect your identity, not to strike fear into the hearts of the people you interacted with.

That was just a nice bonus.

“Release her,” you demanded in a firm tone as you spun the bo staff around menacingly.

The guy stared you down. If he was perturbed by staring at a masked person with a metal staff, he didn't show it. Instead he started to smile, teeth showing like a snarl more than anything else.

He didn't say a word. He just pulled a gun out of his pocket with his free hand and aimed it directly at you.

“What's that shiny stick gonna do for you against this?”

You were ready, knees bent and staff held level. Time seemed to slow down as he pulled the trigger at the exact instant a body dropped down on top of him.

The bullet shot wide of its mark but you still felt the pain as it grazed you. You grit your teeth and spun around, your staff knocking the attacker down as your quote-unquote savior stood up.

Daredevil. You should have known.

While he made sure the assailant was down for the count, you turned to the girl that was cowering against the wall.

“You're safe,” you said as you twirled the staff away from her. “Are you hurt?”

Her eyes darted past you and you watched them widen with fear before she crumpled onto the ground. You shot to her side, tearing off your gloves to check her for a pulse or any injuries.

“She fainted,” Daredevil said in a gruff voice. “She's not the one bleeding from a gunshot.”

“It was a graze,” you shot back as you continued to look the girl over. “I had it under control.”

“He had a gun,” he replied as he stalked forward.

You stood up and looked him over. The costume looked like it probably kept him mostly safe. The mask was a little terrifying, you had to admit, but only when he was frowning at you like that.

And why didn't it have eye holes? What kind of material was it that he could see through it?

“You aren't the only one that can protect this city, Daredevil. And I can take care of myself.”

His head tilted towards your arm. Whether or not he could see through the mask, you knew he couldn't make out your wound in the dark and through the layers you wore.

You twirled the staff around until your fingers found the slight depression. With a quick squeeze, the sides retracted back in and you replaced the cylinder to your hip.

“You shouldn't be out here trying to take down the criminal element,” Daredevil said with another frown.

It was almost word for word what he said the first time you ran into him.

“I'm not asking your permission.” And then, as you brushed past him back to the fire escape you had been staked out on, you gave him one last look. “You aren't the only one willing to bleed for this city. But at least with me it's not permanent.”

Let him ponder on that, you thought as you took off at a run, climbing up onto the fire escape and back to where you had left your hearing devices.

The night was still young.

------

The first time that you met Daredevil, you had been following what looked to be a gang. You couldn't be certain but you were pretty sure that they were about to commit a crime so you followed them.

It wasn't hard to do. They were on foot and not trying to be stealth or evasive. But they had guns and knives and you weren't about to let anyone come to harm that night.

On one rooftop overlooking the run down apartment building they entered, you were poised to head in if you heard any sound or commotion.

One second you're bracing yourself on the edge of the roof, ready to run to the roof access door if needed. The next you were spun around to face Daredevil himself.

Quickly you went into defense mode, knocking his hand free and ducking away when he tried to grab you again. He was quick and apparently skilled but you weren't some slouch. You didn't just wake up one morning and decide this sounded fun.

“Stop trying to hit me,” he complained through clenched teeth.

“Well stop trying to grab me. Didn't anyone ever teach you not to grab a woman without her consent?”

His mouth ticked upwards and you weren't sure why you felt so proud for having made the devil smile.

“I make exceptions for when innocent people are stalking cartel members.”

A cartel? You thought they were some local gang members. You turned towards the street but he pulled you back a bit.

“Their lookout scours the rooftops. You might want to stay out of sight unless you want a bullet to the skull.”

You smirked but didn't say anything. Instead you pulled out of his grasp and headed over to the roof access door.

“If there is a cartel in my city, I'm not going to just let it happen.”

He followed you and kicked a foot out to keep you from being able to open the door.

“Someone like you shouldn't be out here trying to take on the criminal element of the city.”

That made you pause from wondering if you could trip him up.

“The devil is sexist? Good to know,” you said as you yanked on the door as hard as you could.

“It's not that. It's that you don't know what you're getting into. No one should try to take on the dark underbelly of this city.”

That was interesting. You pulled away from him and the door, eyes canvassing the rooftop for another way down.

“You take it on. You go through every inch of Hell's Kitchen and bloody up anyone that dares to cross your path. You do it every night. You think you own the rights to this city? You think you’re the only one that feels it’s their duty?” You scoffed and shook your head, taking a few steps backwards. “You’ve never been more wrong.”

You turned and took off at a run, the gravel on the roof crunching under your boots. You heard Daredevil call something out but you pushed that to the back of your mind as you launched yourself up and over the lip of the roof, sailing through the air before you landed on a nearby roof with a quiet thud.

The impact jostled you a bit, but you’d had worse. You stood up and looked across the opening to where Daredevil was still standing on the other roof. With a sarcastic salute, you turned and darted across that roof as well.

Let him handle the cartel for the night. You weren’t done just yet.

------

The actual first time you had met Daredevil had been before the red suit. It was before the nickname, before word of a man running around in a black mask had begun to circulate. You had watched him come from seemingly nowhere before he dragged your would be attacker away from you.

A right hook. A jab with the left. He spun around and kicked the man in the face, effectively knocking him out.

When he turned back to you, you could see his chest rising and falling. It didn’t look like it was with exertion because surely that hadn’t taken much energy. No, you had a feeling it was something else.

“Are you okay?”

You didn’t do more than nod, unable to find your words. He had asked again, probably wanting to hear you verbalize it. Instead you stood up and ran out of the alley you had been pulled into.

That night you had sat on your bed and looked at the scars that circled your wrists from the way you had been strapped down during the experiments. They were the only scars that never seemed to heal.

With the memory of that man saving your life and the rush he seemed to get from it, you started to plan.

A few years later and you were the person that was rushing in to save people’s lives. You wore an outfit that was inspired by what you had seen on the not-yet-Daredevil; black pants that gave you didn’t hinder your movement but that wouldn’t weigh you down, a long sleeve black shirt, and a black jacket with attached hood that helped obscure your identity.

The mask was for that purpose too. It covered your face and it masked your voice to a point. On the off chance that you encountered someone you knew, you didn’t want them to figure out your secret.

Well, any of your secrets.

You placed the utility belt that you had made on the table and sighed. Next you shed your boots and jacket, your mask having been removed the moment you landed on the fire escape outside your apartment.

The wound from the bullet had already healed even though the blood on your shirt was still wet. You dropped the shirt onto the coffee table and moved over to where you kept a sewing kit. You’d patch the shirt and the jacket; at least this wound was small enough you didn’t need to pull out one of the others that you had stock piled when you started this.

Becoming a vigilante hadn’t been your plan. As a kid you had dreamed about becoming a doctor or a vet or something of the sort. You had it all figured out but it didn’t matter.

The experiments had been something your foster parents had signed you up for. They had told you that it was to help you but you weren’t so sure that that was the truth. It didn’t seem to matter. After days and weeks of boring medical tests, you were strapped to a bed and injected with multiple needles.

The lacerations on your wrists from where you tugged and tugged, desperate to run away, had never fully healed. Sometimes they still hurt, sometimes they burned.

You’d been awake for every second of the experiments. Some of the injections burned, some of them felt like you had ice being poured in your veins.

It was something you learned much later, but some of the kids that were forced into the experiments didn’t make it. You were one of the lucky ones.

The side effects included blinding headaches, fatigue, speedy healing, and extreme agility. It made running across rooftops and jumping from one building to another easier; you didn’t have to worry about not making the landing.

Granted you weren’t sure what it would take to kill you. Maybe a fall from a ten story building would leave a mark. Maybe a bullet to the brain or a knife to the heart.

So far you hadn’t found anything that kept you down for long.

That’s why you were going to keep doing what you could. That was why Daredevil wasn’t going to stop you.

------

Rain was falling pretty steadily and you frowned as you sat on a part of a roof that was covered. The device that you usually used to find trouble wasn’t working very well in this weather. It was partly a surveillance tap, using a mild transmitter that could pick up sounds up to a few blocks away. It also had the addition of being a police radio scanner but that didn’t help you stop crimes from happening.

The sound of boots on the roof made you grow rigid. You had been there for a while so surely no one had seen you. You took a deep breath and reached for the cylinder, but a voice made you freeze.

“This isn’t exactly the best weather for looking for trouble,” Daredevil said as he came around the wall of the little enclosure you had holed yourself up in.

“Who said I’m looking for trouble? I’m just minding my own business.”

He tilted his head for a moment before he smirked. His hand shot out and grabbed the cylinder on your hip, pressing the mechanism that made your staff stood out. He spun it around before he hit the mechanism that made it retract.

“I think that speaks for itself,” he reasoned as he held it out to you.

You snatched it from his hand and tucked it back onto your hip. The suit was wet but it didn’t look soaked through. Either he had been nearby or it was waterproof.

The heavy feeling of your soaked clothes made you a little envious of that. If you got into a fight right now, you had a feeling there’d be a lot of chafing.

At least it’d heal fast.

“There’s not going to be anything to do tonight,” Daredevil stated as he tilted his face towards the opening. It was eerie with the lack of eye holes, but you didn’t say anything. “You might as well go home.”

You rolled your eyes and reached up to wipe away the rain water that had started to drip under your mask.

“Yeah, and I bet you’ll just head back to whatever cave you crawl out of once the sun goes down, huh?”

He inclined his head as if conceding to you. While he was quiet, you lifted out the tiny device that had a wire in your hood, protected by a layer of plastic to keep it from shorting in the rain. The audio tuner wasn’t picking up anything but raining nearby so you flipped over to the police scanner.

“Is that how you find who needs help? A police scanner?”

You shot a look at him before you leaned back against the brick wall once more.

“Sometimes, yeah. Can’t always just walk past someone when they are in trouble.”

Did you detect a smirk on his lips? You tucked the device back into your pocket with the volume low enough that it barely registered to you. While you weren’t sure if you were on friendly terms with Daredevil or not, you couldn’t stop the thought that he had a nice smile.

The rain wasn’t pouring as hard as it had been. You stuck a hand out and then wiped it on your pants leg.

“You should be wearing gloves,” he said as he turned to face you, a frown covering that nice smile you had just been enjoying.

“I have them,” you said as you pulled them out of your jacket pocket. “I can’t tune the scanner with them on in the rain. You don’t have to worry about me getting frostbite.”

“Wasn’t worried about that. I was thinking about fingerprints.” He gestured to his mask and then to yours. “Figured the reason you wear that is because you have a life that takes place off of rooftops and you don’t want people to know that this is how you spend your free time.”

He had a point. You tugged on the gloves and crossed your arms over your chest. It didn’t feel like conceding to his demands. In fact…

“Are you giving me vigilante tips right now?”

The laugh that that brought out of him seemed to be a surprise even to him. He shook his head a bit.

“I haven’t been able to talk you out of this. I can at least make sure you’re doing it right.” And then with a smirk, “I’m not a vigilante, by the way.”

That made you laugh in return.

“You got a devil kink? And a rooftop kink?”

He started to reply but he froze, his head tilting to the side. You listened as well but there didn’t seem to be anything there. You fumbled with your radio before you could skip it over to the other channel. It didn’t pick up anything nearby.

“What is it?”

Did he have some sort of radio in his cowl? That would be cool… and really extra, which fit his whole aesthetic.

“Trouble,” he said with a wicked grin before he started to head out from the awning. Then, with a look over his shoulder, “You coming?”

You grinned wide under your mask and took off after him.

------

The pain was a dull reminder that you weren’t immune to dumb ideas. It also wasn’t going to stop you from other dumb ideas. Pain was funny like that.

The building that you and Daredevil had cleared during the fire hadn’t been very safe. He had told you to get out but you wanted to do one last pass. And good thing you did because there was a kid on the third floor that would have died.

You got him onto the fire escape and made him go first while you made sure there wasn’t anyone else up there. The sound of the crackling inside the building made you realize that there was about to be an explosion.

There was a window at the far end of the hallway that you were fairly certain led to a parking lot. It was the third floor so it wouldn’t hurt too bad. With that in mind you had taken off at a run and burst through the window right as the gas line blew.

The force of the explosion threw you further and you slammed into the ground harder than you had planned. The number of injuries was higher than you wanted to count. At that point you were breathing in concrete and praying that the building didn’t collapse on you.

Hands were on you, a frantic voice asking if you were okay. You groaned as you were rolled over, the thick taste of copper in your mouth.

“Fuck,” Daredevil swore as he pulled you a little further out of sight. Then he yanked off one of his gloves and started to pass it over your body. “Jesus, what were you thinking? I have to get you to a hospital.”

“No,” you said as your vision swam a little, seeing four horns instead of just two. “No hospitals. I mean it devil boy. No hospitals. I’ll be–”

You didn’t get much more out than that before you coughed up some more blood, feeling it trickle out from under your mask. Oh yeah. That was going to hurt for a bit.

And then it was dark.

------

There was a very obvious lack of a mask on your face. You reached up to check just in case and you saw that you weren’t wearing gloves anymore. Or your jacket or belt.

As you started to sit up, you felt a hand press against your shoulder and push you back down on the bed you were in.

“You had a rough night,” a somewhat familiar voice said. “Although by time my nurse friend got here, you were mostly healed. Neat little trick. Not something you can teach me is it?”

You tilted your face up a bit in the direction of Daredevil’s voice. Instead of seeing red leather and horns, you saw a very attractive man that looked like he hadn’t slept in a while. His hair was a mess, his eyes glassy.

Actually…

“Are you blind?”

A little color went to his cheeks and he leaned over to the bedside table where he grabbed a pair of red tinted glasses. He put them on and you watched him shift a little where he was sitting on the side of the bed next to you.

“I don’t know why you’re so surprised. You jumped out of a third story window of a building that exploded and you look good as new.”

You sat up with a groan, ignoring his insistence that you lie back down.

“Might look good, but I feel like shit. And how do you know what I look like anyways?”

He cleared his throat and then gave a quick nod.

“I’m technically blind but I have enhanced senses. It’s a long story,” he said when you opened your mouth to ask, “and I think your story is more important right now. I had a nurse friend come over but you were healed by time she arrived. She looked you over anyways and gave you a clean bill of health. Does it still hurt?”

Your eyes went to your wrists and shook your head.

“I’ve had worse,” you promised as you started to move to the edge of the bed. Then you realized you had no idea where you are. “Did you kidnap me?”

“You’re in my apartment,” he said with a laugh.

“Yeah, that doesn’t answer my question. Seriously Daredevil-slash-blind-man, where am I and where are my clothes?”

He gestured over to a pile of dark clothes on the dresser nearby. You stood up with a groan, wavering a bit before you limped over to it. It wasn’t so much that you didn’t trust him, but you didn’t know him. You checked to make sure that everything was where you had left it, fingers rubbing at a char mark on the edge of the mask.

“How’d you survive that?”

His voice was soft, gently inquiring. You glanced over your shoulder at him and then back at your mask. The ache in your wrists drew away from the ache in your body.

“I’m technically hard to kill,” you said sarcastically, playing off what he had said about his blindness.

He noticed and you watched him curiously as he seemed to ponder his next step. With a short nod to himself, he stepped over to you and held his hand out.

“I’m Matt Murdock. During the day I’m a lawyer at a firm with my best friend. At night I’m Daredevil. I’ll tell you my story if you tell me yours.”

You looked between his hand and his face, those eyes that were hard to see through the tinted glasses. At least now you know why his mask didn’t have eye slots.

With a sigh you reached out and grabbed his hand for a shake.

“Y/N Y/L/N. You got any alcohol in this bachelor pad? I think I’m going to need a drink before we get into this.”

His laugh made you smile.

------

It was the first time you had ever told the whole story. And while it didn't seem to be the first time for Matt, he also seemed almost relieved to get the words out.

There was a certain freedom in having someone know it all. And he didn't seem to regard you any differently than he had before.

There was also the shared trauma of being in an orphanage. You joked that you would have picked nuns over becoming a lab rat, but you knew you both had a troubled childhood.

“So what made you decide to do this? You've been like this since a kid. How long have you been running around in a mask?”

You shifted on the couch, tucking your legs under you as you stared at the glass of bourbon he had poured for you.

The cheap stuff. Not that you cared.

“Actually I was saved by some guy in black pajamas and a mask. He didn't know what I was capable of,” you added with a grin.

Matt's mouth dropped open in surprise and you could see him racking his brain for a memory of you. He had taken off his glasses at some point during the conversation so you watched his apparently sightless eyes dart back and forth.

“I don't remember you.”

You knocked the back of your hand against his arm gently, fully aware that he could avoid the touch if he wanted to.

“I'm not offended if that's what you're worried about. Just means you save so many people that you can't keep us straight.” You paused for a moment before you continued. “I want to thank you for that. Not just for saving me, although that's pretty awesome. But because you're the reason I do what I do.”

It wasn't that you thought that he would be blown away by the sentiment but you did notice that he looked relatively crestfallen once you'd spoken.

“I don't take that as a compliment,” he said as he rubbed the bridge of his nose. “I do this so that other people won't have to.”

You turned to place your feet flat on the floor, straightening your spine as you did.

“I don't do this because I have to. I do this because I can and someone should. I'm like this for a reason.”

“But your reason doesn't have to be this,” he explained as he gestured to your wrists.

“You think those people that performed the experiments on me as a kid did it because it was going to help me? They preyed on foster kids because no one would care if we didn't make it out.”

You stood up and paced, unable to take the lack of movement any longer.

“The people that did this to me were criminals. Whatever they wanted me for was probably not good. I was created for the wrong reasons. So if I want to use my new abilities for good, who are you to tell me that's wrong?”

You turned to face Matt who had followed your trek. He had listened intently to your rant. At that point he nodded and stood up, taking a step towards you as he did.

“I always told myself that God made me this way for a reason,” he said simply as he gestured to his eyes. “The way I am now and what I'm capable of? It gives me the opportunity to help those in need. I shouldn't judge you for feeling the exact same way.”

He seemed so sincere. You turned away from him and looked out of the wide windows, biting your bottom lip.

The hours had stretched on since you had met him on the roof the night before. Now the sun was starting to make its presence known through the buildings.

The illuminated sign seemed duller in the growing light. You'd noticed it when you first came to in his apartment but you hadn't gotten a good look until now.

You knew around where you must have been located at least.

“I'm not asking your permission to do this. I know what the danger is and I know what I'm capable of. I jumped out of that window knowing that I might not make it.”

“But you did,” he said as he moved up to stand beside you. “You made it and you saved a lot of people in the process.”

You rubbed a hand over your wrist, the feeling of the scars a grounding reminder of how you survived that fall.

“We saved them,” you said instead.

------

You hadn't seen the gun. You had just taken out three men who were suspected of human trafficking, using your staff to knock them unconscious. As you tugged out the zip tie cuffs you usually used to restrain the people you caught, you heard a noise behind you.

It'd been almost a month since you found out who Daredevil was. Almost a month and in that time you had seen him almost every night that you put on the mask. It made sense that you thought it was him.

With your guard down, you spun around to face Matt. Only instead you found a man dressed like his unconscious buddies.

Your first instinct was to take him down too. You spun the staff, ready to fight, but you never made it that far because you hadn't seen the gun.

The shot sounded like an explosion, the noise bouncing off the metal walls of the warehouse you were in.

First there was nothing, just the noise. And then there was pain.

The man seemed surprised when you didn't immediately fall over. You gasped through the pain as you tried to stay upward.

The next shot shouldn't have surprised you. It did knock you over.

One hole in your chest, one in your stomach. The one in your chest was already starting to heal, but that didn't stop the pain you felt.

The shooter walked up and peered down at you. He tilted his head as he looked you over, probably not sure what he was looking at. You watched through blurry eyes as he aimed the gun at your head.

With another ringing gunshot, everything went dark.

------

The thought of showing up unannounced made you feel a little vulnerable, but right then you didn't mind. You wiped at your face and prayed that there wasn't any left over blood, but you hadn't exactly stopped to check a mirror.

It'd only been a few moments since you had knocked but you raised your fist to do it again. Instead the door swung open and you were faced with a panicked looking Matt.

“Get in here,” he said as he dragged you in by your arm. “I could smell the blood through the door. What the hell happened?”

He was wearing sweats so obviously he hadn't been out tonight. Or he had already come back home.

You let him guide you to his couch. Then he felt around to check that you were in one piece. His hands were warm as they brushed your face and then your chest.

You grabbed his hands before they went to your stomach, your fingers linking with his almost immediately.

“I think you may have had a point when you said that I shouldn't do this alone,” you said as you squeezed his hands.

“What happened?”

With his hands in yours, you explained that you'd been taking down some traffickers when you realized there was a fourth one. You relived the moment of being shot three times, the aches making it hard to catch your breath.

“I knew I'd heal from the one to my chest and my stomach because I've done it before,” you explained quietly, eyes locked on your clasped hands. “But I didn't know if I'd survive a shot to the head point blank.”

“Y/N,” he said as he reached you to cup your cheek.

“In that instant before he pulled the trigger, I couldn't help but think that was it and I was about to die. And the last thing I thought was that I didn't want to go without telling you…”

You hesitated then, unsure how to word it without making a fool of yourself. But the look on his face made you feel calmer than you had any right to be.

He felt it too.

Instead of finishing your sentence, you simply leaned in and pressed your mouth against his. It was a kiss full of desperation and longing, but it filled you with such joy.

You'd never thought you'd have something like this. Because of who you were, you always thought you would end up having to hide a part of yourself. You never dreamed you could find someone who would know all about you and not pull away.

And Matt was definitely not pulling away. In fact he was tugging you closer, his mouth moving against yours eagerly.

Having another mask ruined was worth it for this moment.

------

There were too many for you to take on by yourself. You spun your staff around as you looked at the people surrounding you.

Way too many for you to take on alone. Good thing you weren't alone.

In the instant that Daredevil appeared, you struck out and attacked. The two of you worked together flawlessly, dropping armed thug after armed thug.

The two of you had developed quite the reputation on the streets for being capable and even ruthless at times. It was also well known that where one of you were, the other was soon to follow.

Apart you were both fearsome opponents. Together you were a force to be reckoned with.

No criminal stood a chance against Daredevil and the Woman Without Fear.

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abundantchewtoys · 5 years

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HS Epi Meat, page 4 reaction

So, is John going to zap to the next plot point now, or will it switch back to Earth C?

I wonder, if it's the latter, whether we might see something from an antagonist, or a less important character, like Jack Noir or GCATavrosprite. And if the former, I wonder if John will venture further into (a retconned version of) the Game Over timeline, or not?

---

"You arrive in the Land of Heat and Clockwork in a flash of white." OOOoooh, LOHAC! Will he visit Dave - well, presumably yes. But will he revisit the moment he zapped back to, when he came to ask for help regarding his retcon powers?

... I kind of like Blaperile's idea better, that he revisits the point in time he disrupted before, the conversation between Dave & Jade, but which he afterwards retconned again, sending himself to go find Roxy? ... Wait, it was never really explained where that John that bapped himself on the head came from, I swear, if this is (out-of-comic) retconned as having been this 23-year-old John... Okay, I might have forgotten if Rx John had already gone back. ... Okay yeah, it already happened. Page 8333 vs 9047 of Homestuck. Anyway...

Hmm, GO Dave never used the eggsword much in the end (Caledfwlch), as he went after Jade's body and tied to a critical devilbeast combo. But I don't think John'll take it?

"Through the condensation you can make out the shapes of Dave and Jade below, as well as two more of you hovering in the air above. Both Johns turn to look at you." PFfffffff, of course he draws his other selves attention. Why would it resolve so cleanly as they zapping away in the background. Dave had a fit before when he saw one, but now, if he'll acknowledge all three...

"On the ground, Dave is talking in a particular cadence, one that is familiar to you, his longtime best buddy. Casual, wandering, verging on droning. It’s a good indication he’ll be monologuing for a while, and probably already has been." Yeah, GO Dave was summing up all the reasons he didn't particularly want to do anything about LE. Retconned Dave just thought he should fulfill the prophecy to get it over with, but that's about the end of his commitment in the matter too. Only Davepetasprite^2 really felt like going up against LE. Will Caledfwlch make it into their hands?

"DAVE: thats what...DAVE: you do...DAVE: with..." Awesome, he even gets trailed off at exactly the same moment in his monologue. :D

"DAVE: karate. john what the fuck are you doing hereDAVE: or... waitDAVE: actually three johnsDAVE: hey three johns what the fuck are three johns doing here" Dave is so whatever about this, it's hilarious. Then again, he's been all around LOHACSE thrice in a single day, he's got some experience in the matter of walking around alt time selves.

Also, I wonder if Dave (and Jade) will notice he's an older version of John. If not, his god tier powers probably keep him youthful, like Superman.

"It’s a fair question, which logically should have been directed to the oldest and most knowledgeable John. Nevertheless, one of the younger Johns replies first." Pfff, the second oldest one then? The one that came back here with a semblance of purpose, not randomly zapping through canon? Plus, if Dave wouldn't notice a difference between the Johns, neither would the younger ones.

"(JOHN 1): er.(JOHN 1): i don’t know." Ooooh! Cool, not just are they parenthesed, the Johns are now also numbered! Yeah, we wouldn't want them to just all be named John, that'd be insane and probably what Jade went through with PCG & FCG from her end (aka two ?CG's).

"JOHN 3: john, don’t worry about it. i’ll take things from here.DAVE: johns dont get me wrong its cool that you all randomly dropped by again but this wasnt really the best time" Hah, yeah John, try and get that semblance of knowing what you're doing back, like you acted out on LOPAN against your past selves. I'm actually interested to see whether he will be as dismissive towards his other selves as back then. Right, this is the second time Dave saw John, after the time he dropped in when Dave was looking at his old photographs.

"DAVE: we were kind of in the middle of a thing here(JOHN 1): whoops. sorry.(JOHN 2): uh... actually, i only came here to swoop in and zap this john away without being seen, to retcon away the mess i made earlier.(JOHN 2): i didn’t expect to see another john here.

JOHN 3: hey, other john, i said i’ll handle it!

JOHN 3: i’m the only one who actually knows what’s going on here.DAVE: god damn it johns what the fuck did you do" John 1 fucked it up, John 2 would've fixed things but then John 3 came back and fucked up some more. It's like the goddamned Primer movie all over again.

"JOHN 3: young dave, please.

JOHN 3: let me deal with the johns first, then i’ll explain.DAVE: young dave???" Why did that make me think of WV's polite commands. "Sir John" and all that. :P I think the other Johns will be able to get resolved easily enough, one zapping the other away to bop him in the head, both confused over the mess they left behind.

"DAVE: ohDAVE: yeah why are you a fucking adult now" OOOOOOh, nice! Okay, even though it'll be all shades of awkward, I really like the age difference isn't getting skimmed over.

"DAVE: did you grow up and start time traveling dude" Take that, reverse it.

"JADE: will someone tell me what the fuck is happening???????" Oh right, Grimbark Jade's text colour thingy!

"JOHN 3: johns, there’s no reason for you to hang around anymore.

JOHN 3: not to sound like a wet blanket, but the things you’re trying to accomplish are now useless, so you can just zap away and do whatever you want.(JOHN 1): ummm...(JOHN 2): useless?? wait." Harsh much, John. Also, just cause they won't/aren't you, they can just go become you, or whatever how you want to put it.

"JOHN 3: ok, maybe i shouldn’t have said that.

JOHN 3: i’m sure you can still go and do what i did when i originally did what you’re currently trying to do...DAVE: jesus john" Dave's inner time logistician is crying. John's retcon powers are so OP, he doesn't have to take any care in keeping time loops going if he doesn't want to. But that'd just result in copies of him flying around, so he'd best to just send them on their way, hopefully never to run into them again.

JOHN 3: in fact, it will still probably be a very rewarding experience!

JOHN 3: some of my best memories happened right after you do what you’re about to do next." I was thinking of the meet-up with his friends in general, but yeah, it's probably mostly about meeting Roxy, which is the closest thing to happen to (John 1)'s point in time.

"JOHN 3: the point is, you should just go do it, so that you aren’t here anymore." Savage.

"JOHN 3: i’m here to make sure some new and different important things happen, and those things don’t include you.

JADE: :|(JOHN 1): oh...(JOHN 2): ...ok.

The useless Johns zap away. You sincerely hope that they have a beautiful and fulfilling youth." ... That's not what your mouth ended up conveying there, John. Nor your thoughts, I mean, "useless", dear god man, have some alt self respect. :P

"DAVE: adult john what the fuck have you doneDAVE: is this some time travel shitDAVE: please dont tell me youve been spending the next however many years bungling through time like this because tbh if what i just witnessed was even remotely indicative of shit you get up to on a recurring basis then your future is almost too embarrassing to even think aboutDAVE: and this is coming from a teenager who was just in the middle of an angsty episode" Self aware Dave tirades are still the best. :D

"JOHN: i used my retcon abilities to travel here from the future, in a manner of speaking.DAVE: sounds fuckin stupidJOHN: it is stupid. but that’s just how things are." Glad they can agree to agree on that very valid assessment. :P

"JADE: im a little confused

JADE: im supposed to be hunting you down and capturing you... but im not sure if the adult version of you counts?

JADE: i think the condesce might just be... confused if i brought her an adult john?" Oooh, is this conflicting with her "programming" some how? Doggy Jade is confused, that's actually intruiging that she's given pause.

"JOHN: no, you don’t need to capture me, and you wouldn’t be able to even if you wanted to, since my existence literally transcends the confines of canon.

JADE: well...

JADE: i guess that simplifies things then?" John bullshitting his way to victory over people smarter than him, it remains a sight to behold.

JADE: in that case, would you mind giving me and dave a few minutes to wrap up our conversation?" XD Lol, wut????? Hahahah, Paradox Space really can only handle so much derailment to a timeline. At some point it just throws up it's arms and goes "leave me be, for five minutes, I was busy here!"

"JADE: we were sort of in the middle of something important... i thinkJOHN: no, you really weren’t.JOHN: sorry to be the bearer of lame news, like i just was to the other johns.JOHN: but whatever you were doing doesn’t matter anymore.JOHN: nothing that’s happening here matters at all.JOHN: this session, this whole takeover by the condesce... this isn’t how a universe gets made.

JADE: its not?JOHN: no." Sorry to break it to ya, but you're in a doomed timeline.

"DAVE: so what nowDAVE: if its all a done deal like preemptively speakingDAVE: can we all just relax or whatJOHN: actually...JOHN: no." Okay... So, what, can he just recruit these guys off and zap off with them to the next plot point? Won't something have to be done about the grimbarkness first? Also, if the next plot point is in the same timeline... Game Over really gets derailed. No Jade, no swapping Derse for LOFAF.

"DAVE: fuckJOHN: ah! i just realized why she sent me to this point in time to start recruiting you all.DAVE: whatDAVE: who" Rose, but not your Rose, although perhaps with the memories of that Rose, so kinda your Rose. :P Okay, so it's not that Rose's letter gave more detailed instructions than to zap there & recruit. So John'll have to figure out what to bring besides the people, in some cases at least. Like, here that would be Caledfwlch.

"JOHN: this is the moment just after you made your legendary cue ball sword.JOHN: you’re going to need it.DAVE: for whatJOHN: to come fight lord english with me.

Dave’s eyebrows descend beneath his sunglasses. You feel pretty bad because you’re about to completely circumvent the life-changing epiphany he’s just had that you know for a fact will make him a happier, chiller, and altogether more well-balanced human being." :/ Yeah, Dave really was happier cheating his way out of the prophecy. But then, he could only become so happy if someone else took care of the REAL Lord English for him. Guess another Dave'll have to bite the dust for "alpha" Dave again. Then again, epiphany or not, GO Dave might have ended up happy... but then he'd have been a happy ghost, for just as long until LE or the black hole got to him.

Still, man, I'm feeling for the guy. It's one thing to reject the call when it's an abstract prophecy or artefact thrust on you. But now it's his best friend asking him to join him in a crazy last stand. That's... actually one of the toughest challenges any Dave has had.

"DAVE: oh shit" ... Best underwhelming response he could have. :D

"JADE: what??

JADE: john. he is NOT going to fight lord english just yet

JADE: he is staying right here

JADE: old ladys orders :PJOHN: actually, yes he is." I'm sensing a showdown coming, but I wonder how swift John will take care of her, can his mangrist trump First Guardian swiftness? Oh, yeah, and he could turn into the Breeze too, I recall. Yeah, Jade's gonna bite the dust.

"JOHN: and so are you. we all are." Oooooh, okay, he wants everyone from the GO timeline to take a swing. Cool that he's getting his gang back together. Still, the age difference! :P Everyone but Roxy might be a little wary of it. (I'm saying that because at one point Roxy crushed on Jane's Dad.

"JADE: omg

JADE: how dare you?????JOHN: jade, you’re brainwashed.JOHN: sorry. but nothing you’re saying now means anything." Like, I understand where he's coming from, but dang John, still so brutal.

"JOHN: it’s fine though, you’ll stop being brainwashed once i zap you outside the influence of the condesce." Oooh, round trips to blankspace it is? I don't think it'll be to LOWAS, just to "a" point in blankspace they can be "stored" until the gang is assembled.

"JADE: youre not zapping me anywhere!!!!!JOHN: ha ha, yes i am.JOHN: watch this...

> Zap Grimbark Jade outta there." Has he learned to do a snap to zap her away while staying behind himself? Like how Jade zapped everyone to LOMAX.

It would be anticlimactic for John's retcon powers to suddenly cease working here. It would also be very Hussie for that to happen spontaneously. :P But then again, not likely as he'll use the same power to go to LOCAM (Caliborn's planet).

"You set a hand on Jade’s shoulder and zap her off to a better place. Then you touch down on the concrete surface where the whole pointless confrontation was taking place so that you can talk Dave around whatever it is he’s going through right now. Dave, like his ecto-sister, really needs to get in an absurd amount of extraneous words before he can fully process a situation.

The Mayor tips his head at you and fiddles with his sash. God damn, you missed the Mayor." Ah, okay, that particular conversation we might not see in its entirety? Or maybe we will. In any case, right, WV was there! Aww, yes we missed him. But hey, seems like John at least took a little time before they travelled into the future, to get to know WV? I wonder if he ever found out he was his exile, probably not.

"DAVE: so what do we do nextJOHN: well, i’ll leave you to hang out with jade for a bit, while i go round up the others." Hey, it occurred to me, Dave & Jade could have a chat while they wait, work some things out. A similar conversation as that GO Dave & Jade presumably had right after their deaths, when they woke up next to each other in the dreambubbles!

"DAVE: what others... likeDAVE: everyoneJOHN: yes. rose, and the other four." Yeah, this is speeding things up rapidly as far as the meetup between the kids is concerned. Dave & Dirk might benefit from some alone time out in blankspace together, mirroring their LOTAK conversation. Also, this means John will be zapping into the outer reaches of the session to retrieve Dirk, hahah. ... I wonder if the glitches from the stardust will be causing any disturbance, probably not anymore since the stardust was blown out of the cartridge, admittedly at a "later" point in the timeline.

Blaperile has a good point, what about Roxy? I'm going to assume that, by the time gets around to breaking her out of jail, John 1 or an equivalent John has already visited her. But I don't remember if they talked about the ring already back then. I do still think John will be giving her the ring to go revive Calliope, but the exact feelings around the moment will remain to be seen.

"DAVE: i seeDAVE: so...DAVE: sorry if i seem a little slow here im just trying to figure this outDAVE: youre telling me that i made this sword because im destined to defeat lord english and weve all been training for that day our whole lives to some extent more or lessDAVE: and we are actually successful here like we overthrow the condesce and make a universe and everythingDAVE: and thenDAVE: we..." ... Yeah, this timeline won't spawn a universe, it's already been done, it exists, no point in repeating the whole process. This session is now void again. Dave tries to build a timeline in his head that makes sense, but the sad thing is, his future is uncertain. Though, he might not be sad at all? I mean, not if the future is his to be written, right?

"DAVE: sit on our asses for several years in the new universe and become adults and lead mostly boring lives instead of going off to fight him?" ... Or, does Dave really DO understand what has happened, that he's picking up left over plot behind some other version of him.

"JOHN: yes.DAVE: guess that makes senseDAVE: now that i think about it thats probably what i would want to do by the time we finally wrap up this whole hot messJOHN: yep, it is what you wanted to do.JOHN: and pretty much everyone else agreed, including me. so that’s what we did." Not sure how conscious the decision was for them at the time, but sure.

"DAVE: which uhDAVE: i guess begs the questionDAVE: if it seemed pointless at the time and nobody could be assed to go fight him when we all had our shit togetherDAVE: why does it suddenly become important to go back and beat him years later after we become a bunch of lazy adults with boring lives" You'd have to ask Rose but she wouldn't remember in this timeline so the point is kind of mute. :P

"JOHN: i pretty much had the same questions, dave.JOHN: there are probably some pretty good answers to that. definitely some complicated answers.JOHN: but to be honest... i kind of forget what they actually were?DAVE: god damn it john" Pfffffff. John "it seemed important at the time so here i am" Egbert, everyone.

"JOHN: it has something to do with canon unraveling, and such.JOHN: we all live outside canon in the future, and if we don’t do go do this, everything will stop meaning anything.DAVE: does...DAVE: anything you just said actually mean anything in the first place" There's a song that comes to mind from Volume 9, "Everything means Something to Somebody". To Dave, it must be sound like the same level of fortune cookie wisdom.

"JOHN: that’s a great question, dave.JOHN: one that i can’t say i’m qualified to answer!JOHN: i think the bottom line here is, this is what rose said we had to do.JOHN: so, that’s why we’re doing it.DAVE: sounds like a bullshit reason if i ever heard oneJOHN: you might be right.JOHN: but is it less of a bullshit reason than any other reason we currently have to go fight him?DAVE: ...DAVE: damnDAVE: youre rightDAVE: i dont know how you did it but you somehow instantly sold me completelyDAVE: fuck you adult egbert" At some point, the scales will buckle just from the shear heap of bullshit piled on.

"You zap Dave off to where he needs to go. The Mayor is still staring at you, blinking his buggy little eyes. You shoot him a warm smile and a thumbs-up before bouncing off into the ether of infinity." Awww, actually, leaving WV behind can't be all bad for him. He can find Serenity in here, PM too. Condesce might very well leave for the Furthest Ring, and then this session is up for sale to anyone. And with the royalty down for the count, WV can take over. Well, okay, WQ... probably blew up when Union Jack broke Prospit. Yeah, WV, PM & the still alive Derse agents are the top bill around, and if PM can trump Jack again (the three of him, Spades Slick & Union Jack included), then the remaining Derse agents would follow.

That marks the end of Meat, page 4 for us!

#homestuck #homestuck epilogues #homestuck meat #upd8 #reaction #spoiler alert #john egbert #dave strider #grimbark jade #wv #the mayor #LOHAC #retjohn

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bronzeflower · 6 years

Text

Who The Fuck Writes A Ten-Page Rant?????

Chapter 12: Two Future Visits???

Also on ao3

-- apocalypseArisen [AA] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

AA: dave!!! AA: youll never guess what just happened!!!

TG: yo ara lay it on me TG: if you say ill never guess then i guess ill never guess but youve piqued my curiosity here and ive absolutely got to know what you want to tell me TG: although presumably youre going to tell me regardless of whether or not i actually guess

AA: you would be correct

TG: ara im dying TG: i need to know this sweet ass thing that just happened TG: i might die if i dont find out soon TG: there i go TG: on my deathbed TG: struggling for breath and doing my goddamn best to make words come out of my mouth TG: and you of all people know exactly how much i talk TG: holy shit that last moment at my death i can barely speak TG: but i manage it just enough to say my last words TG: put a whoopie cushion on dirks seat at my funeral TG: everyones in tears TG: the most perfect last words

AA: alright! ill tell you!!! AA: sollux proposed to me!!!

TG: holy shit!!! TG: thats fantastic!!!! TG: what do people do when someone proposes TG: do we celebrate TG: should we celebrate TG: that certainly seems like something worth celebrating TG: should we have a party TG: just TG: holy fuck TG: when did he propose how did he propose TG: lay all the deets on me

AA: so remember when i told you he had something he was working on that he couldnt show me because it was a surprise for me AA: it turns out that it was a video game AA: it was really cute and sweet and it was a game about finding fossils AA: it was at the very end when the fossils spelled out will you marry me AA: and thats how sollux proposed to me!

TG: thats absolutely adorable oh my god TG: i dont think i can handle this cuteness TG: satisfaction may have brought me back the the cuteness killed me again

AA: dave! AA: you cant die yet!

TG: well i wasnt planning on dying quite yet because i still have shit to do TG: and if i died i would start wandering the world as a ghost because i had unfinished business TG: youll have to burn my body TG: or put it in a museum TG: that would be kick ass TG: thats where i want my bones to be when i die TG: ill make a museum and then all the little kids will be able to see the creators bones scattered about in a glass case TG: it will even have my shades on my skull TG: and the kids will go TG: woah thats one sick ass skull what a cool dude

AA: the coolest AA: but i wanted to tell you that im coming into town for the wedding! AA: im going to take some time off of work so that i can have a proper wedding with all my friends and stuff

TG: !!!! TG: holy shit!!!!! TG: what are we going to die i have no idea TG: i just i havent seen you in person in so fucking long TG: oh my god TG: aradia im so excited holy shit!!!!

AA: im also very excited!!! AA: however the wedding is going to take a while to plan and i will still be working during that time so im not coming for a few months AA: i just wanted to tell you that i will be there eventually

TG: i honestly cant wait

AA: i cant wait either AA: i do have to go now AA: afterall my work is never done AA: i will troll you when i have some free time <>

TG: sounds great <>

-- apocalypseArisen [AA] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

You wonder who you gush to first about the news.

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] --

TG: rose rose rose rose rose rose rose TG: guess what

TT: Did you perhaps learn how to use punctuation?

TG: no and your girlfriend didnt either

TT: That’s cold, Dave. That’s really cold. TT: But, please, do tell this secret that you have been withholding from me for so long.

TG: aras gettin married to sollux!!!! TG: isnt that fucking some fucking fantastic shit TG: like holy shit my moirail is getting married

TT: Your moirail?

TG: its a recent development TG: anyway shes getting married and shes coming to town in a few months and rose TG: rose TG: im so fucking excited rose like holy shit TG: i havent seen ara in ages and now shes getting married TG: im just so fucking happy for her

TT: I’m happy for her as well. TT: Please, tell her congratulations for me. TT: Who’s she getting married to?

TG: shes getting married to her boyfriend of like five years i think TG: i know theyve been dating for a while but i dont really know exactly how long who knows TG: but his name is sollux and i dont really know much about him outside what aras told me but he seems like a pretty cool dude TG: and i trust her judgement anyways

TT: Be sure to give her my congratulations.

TG: ill be sure to do that TG: now if youll excuse me im gonna tell literally everyone about this

-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] --

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG] --

TG: jade youll never guess

GG: im going to take a wild guess and say that someones getting married!

TG: holy shit i guess you did guess TG: never mind then

GG: no! GG: dont go! GG: i dont know the details yet!

TG: well if you insist TG: shes getting married to sollux who ive never actually met but he seems like a pretty cool dude from what ive heard from him TG: and shes coming to town in the next few months after planning the wedding and finishing up the job she has right now TG: and so well get to see her!!!! TG: jade ill get to see aradia!!! TG: holy shit you might actually become friends!!!

GG: !!!! GG: i cant wait!!!!!!

TG: anyway ive got to relay the news to john now TG: hes the last to know

GG: i wont spoil the surprise for him GG: but if you wait to too long rose might!

TG: oh shit youre absolutely right TG: i gots to go TG: be sure to tell me about those cars youre working on later k cause they seem cool as shit

GG: will do!

-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG] --

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] --

TG: john TG: john TG: john TG: hey there johnny boy

EB: i’ll listen to whatever you have to say, dave, but you have to promise to never call me “johnny boy” ever again.

TG: alright alright i promise TG: but i also promise that what im going to tell you is going to blow your fucking mind

EB: try me.

TG: aras getting married!!!

EB: what! EB: holy shit, dude! EB: god, i haven’t even talked to her in such a long time. EB: and now i’m hearing that she’s getting married? EB: just, wow.

TG: yeah i know right TG: shits groovy

EB: did you really just use the word “groovy” in a completely unironic context, dave?

TG: yes TG: ive moved passed liking things ironically egbert TG: you got to enjoy things as they come and let no one shame you for liking them

EB: that’s some solid advice, my dude

TG: anytime

-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] --

Welp, you’ve messaged your main best friends about the wedding, and you’ve mostly got the excitement out of your system, at least until Aradia gives you more details about the planning of her wedding, and you're also going to assume that Aradia is going to message her other friends about the wedding.

Might as well do some work, and, by that, you mean it’s time to review some stuff that you may or may not have been procrastinating reviewing. But it’s time to take action! Make yourself a better person and stuff like that. One destruction of the thing you’re supposed to be doing at a time.

“Now, everyone wants to know how well these nail polishes work, and I am clearly the person to go to if you want to know about nail polishes because I paint my nails all the time, which you would see if you’ve watched my other videos.”

You make a mental note to put photos of your clearly not painted nails over the screen during the editing process.

You first start out doing what you always do in your videos, which is describe the object you’re reviewing in great detail.

“Okay, so this nail polish is kind of liquidy, like all nail polishes I’ve seen are, and this one that I’m holding is a blue one. Like, a blue that’s one of the prettiest blues you’ve ever seen, like the feeling when it’s slightly rainy outside, and you’ve got all your work done, so you’re just sitting there, listening to the soft rain, holding your favorite warm beverage and a feeling of calm washes over you, and everything is okay. You know. Like that.”

You turn the nail polish bottle around to see what else you could describe.

“There also seems to be bits of glitter hanging around in there. They look silvery like the sound of rain. Or the sound of a coin clanking against the ground. Mmmm, no, that would be a gold color, so let’s stick with the sound of rain.”

You then describe the bottle the nail polish is in, including what the font looks like and the color of the lid (white).

“I do have these other colors that came in the set, so I have a total of five. One for each finger. All of them have the same silver glitter as the blue one so that you know that they are from the same set or brand or whatever.

“The other colors are green, red, pink, and orange. Honestly, they could have gone for the complete rainbow, but they didn’t because they’re cowards. Where’s my yellow? My purple? With the colors they gave me, I can’t do the full gay rainbow. How are people supposed to know how bi I am without purple?

“Anyway, let’s get to describing each of these colors. This green- like a grassy meadow. It’s the smell of flowers, but then you sneeze because you’re allergic to pollen.” You pick up the green polish and hold it up so the viewers could see it. Then you put down the green polish to pick up the red one.

“The red is firey, and it’s probably my favorite out of these colors. It looks like someone shouting encouraging words at you but in an aggressive way, so you’re not really sure if they’re insulting you or not. Spoilers, they’re insulting you while telling you how much they love you because they can’t let anybody know they’re emotionally vulnerable.”

You then pick up the pink nail polish.

“And the pink- prettiest fucking pink you’ll ever see. Like a song that makes your heart thump and burn from thinking about the one you love, you know? Kind of also makes me think of cookies. Like, sugar cookies, especially the ones shaped like hearts. It’s a very lovey-dovey sort of color.”

And then, at long last, you pick up the orange polish and gazed at it.

“And, finally, we have this orange polish. Now, it looks exactly like an orange smells like. Or like salty orange juice. Why would you put salt in your orange juice? A prank? That’s the only conceivable reason I can think of, but I’m not here to judge people for their eating or drinking habits. But, now that we’ve looked carefully at all these polishes, it’s time to actually get to the painting part.”

You open the orange polish because you were already holding it, and you examine the consistency of the nail polish.

“Yep, that’s nail polish alright. Let’s put that shit on our nails and see what happens.”

You proceed to messily paint your nails. There’s nail polish everywhere. You somehow get nail polish on your face. You have no idea what happened. You look later- there’s nail polish on your foot. You don’t know how it got there.

You do, in fact, manage to paint all your nails, however messy the end result ended up being, so you are proud of yourself for managing to do that much.

After recording the video and making sure you actually recorded all that, you uploaded the footage and decided to edit it later.

After an hour or so of scrolling through mindless memes, you get a message on pesterchum.

-- tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

TG: guess who the FUCK is comign to town next week TG: *coming TG: that’s right TG: me TG: ur fav sis

TG: oh shit this is fantastic TG: dont tell rose that youre my favorite sister though TG: i would never hear the end of it

TG: ur secret is safe with me TG: *wonk* TG: anyway TG: i was just here to tell you that. TG: dont be a stranger

-- tipsyGnostalgic [TG] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

Holy fucking shit. You can’t believe you got news of some of your favorite people coming to visit in the same day. Granted, they weren’t arriving in the same time period, but still.

You can’t believe Roxy is coming next week!! You are so ready to spend time with Roxy. It’s going to be a blast.

#davekat #dave strider #aradave #arasol #aradia megido #john egbert #rose lalonde #jade harley #roxy lalonde #homestuck #hs #pesterlogs

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the-av-losers-club-1884 · 6 years

Text

Beauty

To begin this long journey into the very interesting mind, I'll touch on a topic that todays society struggles with.

Today’s society, or people in general are filled with this idea that you have to look absolutely perfect. And though this might not apply to everyone, this idea of perfection influences people that they have to be perfect or theyll never be loved. Which definitely isnt true. Though that's not always a bad thing, concerning beauty, there are mostly two types of people. Those people are the people who believe everyone is beautiful, and the person who believe only they are beautiful. Now as to who is right is not something I’m here to decide, but as suicide rates go up in the country... and myself feeling unhappy with my own appearance time to time, I feel the need to at least touch on the topic of beauty.

So to clearify, there are two types of beauty I'll speak of, inner beauty and outward beauty. Inner beauty is the personality of someone who is beautiful on the inside, no I dont mean they have a gorgeous rib cage but that they themself have a great personality wheather you have to really get to know them or if they show that inner beauty towards everyone. But if you decide someone does not have inner beauty to you, you must remember that because you dont like someones personality that will never give you the right to talk trash about them or to insult them. Everyone has inner beauty, wheather its tucked away deep within the thoughts and emotions of someone or front and foward, and there will always be someone who loves that inner beauty. Outward beauty however is someone who has a beautiful appearance. Yes, I'm talking about the gorgeous girls or guys of whatever school youve attended. And though outward beauty is EXTREMELY common (as in everyone has beauty) its not often seen. This kind of beauty is something that is naturally found on everyone. Wheather you believe that or not, is up to you. However most people perfer to add to their natural beauty with make up and though theres nothing wrong with that its often that they overdose in make up. And my question to everyone who over does make up is,

Whats wrong with your natural face?

"Its ugly" was the comment replyed by a friend of mine. And thats what ill be mainly speaking on.

Almost everyone can honestly say theyve had or have heavy depression. And most of the time its about their face, as to whats wrong with you and your face I can anwser right now,

Nothing.

So what if Becky with the nice hair said your ugly and all her friends laughed? Though words hurt, at some point you have to understand

That that bully's words are meaningless. And though at certain times in the pasts centuries it was appropriate to say

"well theyre probably going through some hard times."

Its not today. Something a lot of people cant accept is the fact that thats just not true in todays society, yes its possible but pretty unlikely. Bullies today bully for the fun of it,

Just another laugh from their friends, they want you to shed just another tear. And when Becky with her nice hair comes around saying something along the lines of "oh look heres *whatever worthless names they came up with*"

Dont cry, dont scream, dont yell, simply look up and say "Okay." And continue doing whatever you were doing.

Stupid right?

But it worked for myself and many others.

Because who cares what everyone else thinks of the way you look? Your you, and if they cant except that then whats the point of trying to make others except you for you? Them not liking you for you only tells others how much of a idiotic and horrible person they are.

And maybe its not because of what others think, maybe your the bully to yourself.

The mind is the bully that seems like you just cant run away from and though you might feel that way, there is always a way out. Walk infront of a mirror really quick, see that person staring back at you? That person who seems to be able to follow your eyes every second they move? Thats you. Stare at your body and find something good to say about it,

Cant find anything?

Too bad, your gorgeous.

Now find the point of your body that you hate the most the part that you just absolutely can not stand,

Yeah thats perfect.

Now complement it. It doesnt matter what you say, complement it.

Feel better?

No?

Too bad, your gorgeous.

If you didnt feel better after complenting yourself its because you have yet to actually convince your mind its true.

Because if you havent noticed the mind is the most powerful part of the body. Take everything you hate about yourself and everyday complent it. Even if you dont believe it just go to the mirror stare at yourself for a moment then say something along the lines of

"Nice." Or "Lookin' Good"

Then smile

Yeah you might laugh at yourself at first but do it then walk off and continue your day.

And though your head might see those complements as lies you just have to tell yourself those "lies" until your head accepts the fact that your beautiful. Trust me if you try slowly but surely youll begin to see the good in your body.

Its actually the same with inner beauty as well, for example if your trying to be nicer towards people, walk infront of the mirror and stare into your eyes and say with as much confidence as you get and say

"Im the nicest person youll ever meet"

And if youve "tried" this and it didnt work its because you didnt believe itll work. Just try to remind yourself that it works then remind yourself how beautiful you are and youll see the good in you and your body.

A few thoughts from

G.T.

Reminding you to stay salty but sweet.

What are your opinons on GT's philosophy?

We're not here to judge, just to attempt to help anyone who wants it...

And disagreeing is perfectly fine.

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adambstingus · 6 years

Text

Every Halloween, I Have A Story I Like To Tell

I liked Ben, I really did. I mean, he was a nice guy. We had some fun times together in college, messing around the dorm, going to parties, all the dumb shit that college guys do. He was cool and all, but he was a little pretentious. Well, I guess the word he used was artistic. He thought he was real smart, spent a lot of time trying to prove it to everyone. He had his own blog developed to film critiques not the big ones, though. Just little indie productions because nothing else was worth his time. When he got like that, he could be pretty insufferable.

Perhaps the most annoying thing that he did was performance art.

Now, I dont wanna be the guy who says that all performance art is dumb. But yeah, no, all performance art is dumb. Oh, look, youre on display painting a picture of Jesus from your own urine, how original and edgy! Maybe Im a little jaded, but it always seemed so contrived to me. Unfortunately, Ben really loved it. He thought there was something beautiful in art that was physically living and he devoted an embarrassing amount of time to it.

Anyway, I hung out with Ben a few times after college, but we mostly just met up to do some heavy drinking and maybe hit a strip club or two. He considered THAT performance art as well, which was just fine with me, it gave me an excuse to waste some ones. Since we didnt hang out very often, I had a bad feeling when he contacted me about a month before last Halloween.

He called me up at about seven in the morning on a Saturday, which is too early to even consider waking up, in my opinion. I answered in a daze and he started running his mouth like crazy, as though afraid that, if he didnt get it all out at once, he never would.

Mike, hey, Mikey, listen, buddy, I need your help, okay? Okay, okay, Ive got this idea for a performance and, well, its going to be , you know? So good! Its going down on Halloween. Can you come help? Look, Ill even pay you, man. Fifty dollars. So how bout it?

Now, Ive never cared much about Halloween one way or the other, and Im a pretty easy guy. Fifty dollars to probably just sit there and run a fog machine or some bullshit? For the right price, I could even pretend that I wanted to be there. Besides, what else are friends for?

A few days later, he gave me the details. To be honest, I was a little shocked when he sent the email. I know that performance art is intended to be edgy and can sometimes get a little dangerous, but this seemed downright negligent.

Mike:

Thanks for agreeing to do this for me! Ive talked to a few other people, but they werent really comfortable with it, for reasons youll probably be able to figure out. Of course, I understand if you want to back out, but I think you are probably the most reliable person I know. Its really not that big of a deal, Im sure youll agree.

As Im sure youve noticed, vampires have become very prominent in the media as of late. I say vampires because they are beginning to deviate so wildly from the traditional myths that they resemble forest fairies more than anything else. Altruistic? Sparkly? Whiny? Give me a break. We need more Dracula! We need more Carmilla! We need more death, destruction, and blood!

My performance will center on the theme of rebirthing the vampire. For the vampire to be reborn, he must first be buried. To turn peoples attentions back to the myths of old, I will be doing just that: I will be burying the vampire.

I have a group of viewers signed up already to participate in the performance, so you dont need to worry about that. Im going to plant a series of vampire-themed clues around town for them to follow. The clues should be pretty simple, and it will probably take no more than an hour to an hour-and-a-half for them to find me.

Here comes the somewhat controversial part. Essentially, for this performance to have any semblance of meaning, I need to be buried alive. Dont worry, its perfectly safe: I have a buddy from back home who is building me a coffin with a hole in the top. Ill be fixing it with a pipe that will stick an inch or two above the ground. That way, I wont run out of air. Ill also have a few necessities in the coffin in case something happens: food, water, and a flashlight.

Once they arrive at my grave which will be completely vampirized they will be provided with an array of shovels and will bring me back to life, a reincarnation of the true mythological history of vampires.

Here is where you come in. I need you to bury me. In addition, I need you to be my safety net: if they cant find me, if something goes wrong, if I become sick, I need you to be the one to get me out or call the police, if necessary. Ill also need you to decorate my grave, make it really creepy dont worry, Ill send you some blueprints.

I know this is a little stressful and it may take some time for you to decide, but, rest assured, this is a completely safe project. Theres no danger of suffocation and the coffin is sturdy, so its very unlikely that it will collapse. I really just need you there for support and the actual hard work of burying me.

What do you say? Id even be willing to up your pay to a hundred dollars, if thats what you need.

Let me know!

RIP,

Ben

I stared at my screen for a few minutes, completely dumbfounded.

Once I cut through all the bullshit about art and vampires and rebirth, what it came down to was death.

This guy actually wanted me to almost kill him.

I mean, sure, it probably WAS safe. But my mind went over the plan slowly. What if I couldnt get him out in time? One shovel and a pit of dirt wouldnt be a fast job. Furthermore, what if something happened to me?

Before making a decision, I sent him another email asking if he was really sure he was up for this. Of course he knew, he said. And then he said something that would always stick with me.

Art must be a little dangerous, my friend, for it to be real.

A month later, I found myself standing at the foot of a grave. It was six feet deep and perfectly rectangular. Sitting at the bottom was a tapered coffin covered with black lacquer, a white skull painted on the top. In the eye of the skull was a hole just big enough for the PVC pipe. Stenciled underneath was a line from Dracula: Denn die Todten reiten schnell.

I stood there like an idiot, waiting for Ben to show up.

In the end, Id decided to go along with his stupid gig. Ben was a stubborn bastard, and if I didnt help him, someone else would. At least, thats the justification I gave myself. But the real reason was that, deep inside my heart, his words were still echoing.

Id ended up doing a little more work than I had intended. For one, I had to place his stupid clues around the city. It wasnt hard work, but it took some time to get them all in the proper places. Luckily for Ben, they were pretty obvious clues. There was no need to worry that his participants would be unable to find him.

Ben had set up the grave and the coffin a few days prior to Halloween. It was out in the woods just on the outskirts of town, no chance of it being disturbed. Id tried to talk him out of burying it the whole six feet down.

If something happens and I need to get you out fast, what will I do? Cant you put it closer to the surface?

Ben had just shaken his head in exasperation. You just dont get it, do you? It has to be done right. Remember what I told you.

So I shrugged and let him mess around with whatever dumbassery would get him off.

I was just beginning to wonder if I should have brought more beer this promised to be a long night when Ben showed up.

I had to restrain my laughter when I saw his getup. A cheap Dracula costume from Wal-mart had never looked so pathetic, especially when topped off with those cheap plastic fangs. Hed greased his hair back and painted on a widows peak.

I couldnt resist. Wow, seriously, dude?

He gave me a stern look. Its a comment on the commercialization of vampires and horror as we know it today. He fished around in his pocket and pulled out a walkie talkie. Here, take one. The range isnt very far, but my cell phone wont work that far underground. Youll have to stay nearby. Let me know if youre going out of range.

I shrugged and took it. Okay, but you brought your cell just in case, right?

Nah, what good will it do if it doesnt work?

This guys batshit insane, I thought. But he handed me the hundred dollars and, suddenly, it didnt seem to matter anymore.

I helped him into the coffin and shut the lid. He seemed pretty calm if it were me, I knew Id be having a panic attack. I fit the PVC pipe into the hole. It slid in perfectly snug. I climbed out of the coffin and grabbed my shovel, taking one last look at the shiny black peeking out from the dirt.

With a resigned shrug, I started to shovel in the dirt. Okay, well, he asked for this, I thought.

It took almost a full hour to get all the dirt piled in. The PVC pipe was just barely visible over the grave. I piled the earth around it to hide it as well as I could. Then, I set up the rest of the grave: a hideously gothic headstone made of Styrofoam, and cheap Wal-mart flowers. Once it was finally finished, I sat back against a tree and waited.

There was an awful lot of waiting to be done.

Three hours later, his participants still hadnt come.

Hed buzzed in on the walkie talkie a few times, asking if theyd shown up. I continually answered in the negative, wondering how long hed be willing to keep up this charade. He must be getting worried, I thought, staring at my watch. It was already 10 pm and not a soul to be seen.

Hey, Mike? Something must have happened, I dont think theyre coming. Can you get me out of here? Bens voice crackled and faded in and out of the static fuzz. I took another swig of my beer and heaved a sigh.

Of course they werent coming. They were frantically searching for the last clue. My hand crept into my pocket as I felt it folded there, the creases poking at the soft flesh of my palm.

Mike? Are you there? Did you go out of range?

I turned the walkie talkie off. I didnt need it anymore, anyway. Carefully, I picked up a handful of disturbed earth from the top of the makeshift grave. I poured it down the pipe and listened.

I heard the muffled exclamation, the series of expletives. I thought I could hear a thumping sound he must be hitting the top of the coffin. I smiled a little to myself as I poured some more dirt in through the pipe.

Bens struggles got louder and I felt a certain heat rising up in me. Oh, I knew it could be good, but I didnt know it could be good. This was incredible. This was perfect. This was .

Eventually, I grew bored of shoving the earth down into the coffin. I could hear Bens screaming and sobbing reverberating up the pipe. I yanked a handkerchief out of my back pocket and stuffed it inside. I made sure to plug it up good and tight.

It would only be a matter of time, now. Assuming he could regulate his breathing, he could possibly have a few hours. But I knew he was panicking. And that would simply serve to shorten his time.

The pounding grew weaker as I finished my beer. Once I was certain there was no saving him, I went to finish my work.

Ben was right everything really did go off without a hitch. I dont know what I was so worried about.

Id gone to find his lost sheep, the wayward participants who were scrambling in frustration for the last clue. I scolded them for making us wait so long, acted the part of the reluctant friend indulging his lunatic companion. I took them out to the grave. It was now past midnight.

They sat hushed as I gave the stupid speech that Ben had prepared for me. Everything seemed normal Id made sure to stow the rag before anyone could see it.

Friends, foes, and everyone in between. Tonight we gather to resurrect the ancient horror that has plagued mankind for centuries. Its tale, once a gruesome epic of blood and seduction, has become nothing more than commercialized fodder as society has aged. Now, the time has come for the phoenix to burn and rise again. So, too, shall the blood-soaked visage of the vampire! My voice resonated throughout the woods, and the morons in attendance clapped as they all reached for their shovels.

We dug him up in about half an hour. It was much faster work with his host of suckers. It was good that we reached the coffin quickly, because I could barely contain my excitement.

Two of the men opened the coffin and screamed. The women leaned in over the grave to peek as well, full of expectancy. There was something dreadful about the scene, to be sure.

Bens face had gone gray, sprayed over with a few specs of dirt. His hands were bloody, his fingernails pried off. Deep scratches decorated the top of the lid. The men who had opened his tomb dragged him out in a panic, unsure if this was part of the performance or not. A few moments of silent listening at his chest produced no heartbeat. The proclamation was definitive: he was dead.

They screamed. They called the police. They alternatively looked at his body and shielded themselves from its horror, enraptured yet struggling.

They ignored me.

But that was fine. It was fine because they were admiring my work, the work of the artist. Finally, I had been given this opportunity to prove my worth. Finally, I had found my sacrificial lamb. And it had been a rousing success. The heat raging in my body affirmed that much. I didnt even care if I was caught, so long as I could have this moment to hold for the rest of my life.

Ben was right. I should have known a man of principle never lies. And I owe him a debt of gratitude, for realizing the artist within me.

Art must be a little dangerous for it to be real.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/every-halloween-i-have-a-story-i-like-to-tell/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/172357360662

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samanthasroberts · 6 years