#if you're gonna go out

[inkskinned]

you have to go to work so you can pay for your doctor, who is not taking your insurance right now, and if you say i can't afford the doctor's you are told - get a better job. it is very sad that you are unwell, yes, but maybe you should have thought about that before not having a better job.

(where is the better job? who is giving out these better jobs? you are sick, you are hurting - how the hell are you supposed to be well enough for this better job?)

but you go to the doctor because you had the nerve to be hurt or sick or whatever else. and they tell you that it is because you have anxiety. you try your best. you are a self-advocate. you've done the reading (which sometimes pisses them off worse, honestly). you say it is actually adding to my anxiety, it is effecting my quality of life. so they say that you are fat. they say that all young people have this happen to them, isn't it a medical marvel! they say that you should eat more vegetables. they say that you probably just need to lose a little more weight, and that you are faking it for attention.

(what attention could this doctor possibly give? what validation? that's their fucking job, isn't it?)

there is always a hypochondriac, right. someone always tells you about a hypochondriac. or someone who is unnecessarily aggressive during the worst days of their life. or someone looking "for a quick fix". or some idiot who wasn't educated about how to properly care for themselves who just abandons their treatment. and again, the hypochondriac, the overly-cautious hysteric. these people don't deserve to be treated like humans (right), and since you might be one of these people, you also don't get treated like a human. because those people can really fuck with the system, you now have to pay for it. and besides. you're actually probably faking it.

(more often than not, you find a 2:1 ratio of these stories. for every "hypochondriac", there are 2 people who knew something was wrong, and yet nobody could fucking find it. the story often ends with pointless suffering. the story often ends with and now it's too late, and it's going to kill me.)

you are actually just making excuses. someone else got that procedure or that diagnosis and he's fine, you should be fine too. someone else said they watched a documentary about other inspirational people with your exact same condition, maybe you should be inspirational, too. you're just too morbid. your pain and your experience is probably just not statistically concerning. it is all self-reported anyway, and you're just being a baby.

(once, while sitting down in the middle of making coffee, you had the sudden, horrible thought - i could kill myself to make the pain stop. you had to call your best friend after that. had to pet your dog. had to cry about it in the shower. you won't, but that moment - god, fuck. the pain just goes on and on.)

you know someone who went in for routine surgery and said i still feel everything. they told her to just relax. it took her kicking and screaming before they figured out she wasn't lying - the anesthetic drip hadn't been working. you know someone who went in for severe migraines who was told drink water and lose weight. you know someone who was actively bleeding out and throwing up in the ER and was told you're just having a bad period.

in the ER there are always these little posters saying things like "don't wait! get checked today!" and you think about how often you do wait. how often the days spool out. you once waited a full week before seeing the doctor for what you thought was a sprained wrist. it had actually been broken - they had to rebreak it to set it.

but you go into the doctor. the problem you're having is immediate. the person behind the counter frowns and says we're not taking your insurance. you will be paying for this out-of-pocket.

they send you home with tylenol and a little health packet about weight loss or anxiety or attention deficit. on the front it has your birthday and diagnosis. you think about crying, and the words swim. it might as well say go fuck yourself. it might as well say you're a fucking idiot. it might as well say light your money on fire and lie down in it. and the entire fucking time - the problem persists.

it's okay. it's okay, it's just another thing, you think. it's just another thing i have to learn to live with.

#spilled ink #warm up #can you tell what i'm mad about today specifically #i will say that there are a LOT of things that go into this. like a lot. this is ungendered and unspecific for a reason #it isn't just sexism. it's also racism. and ableism. and honestly classism. #and before a healthcare professional reads this as a personal attack: i understand ur burnt out #we are ALSO burnt out. your situation is also dire. this is not an attack on you. #this is a commentary on the incredible amounts of bigotry that lie at the heart of capitalism #where people have to pay money out of pocket to be told to fuck off. #your job is important. so is our humanity. and if you cannot accept that people are fucking mad as hell #at the industry - you are probably not listening . #anyway at some point im gonna write a piece about sexism specifically in medical shit #but i don't want terfs clowning in it bc they can't understand nuance #> it is true that ppl w/a uterus are more likely to experience medical malpractice & dismissal globally #> it is also true that trans people experience an equally fucked up and bad time in the medical field #> great news! the medical industrial complex is an equal opportunity life ruiner :) #(if you find it necessary to go into a debate about biology while discussing medical malpractice #i want to warn you that you're misunderstanding the issue. because guess what. #cis MEN might experience this. particularly black men. particularly disabled men. #so YES having a uterus can lead to more trouble for you. but this happens a LOT. #instead of fighting those ALSO experiencing your pain.... try working WITH them. #which btw. is like. actual feminism.)

[murderandcoffee]

SAMAMA KHALID YOU ARE NOT IN THE RIGHT GENRE TO BE FUCKING AROUND AND FINDING OUT!!!!!

#GONNA FILL IT OUT ANYWAY AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS?? BOY YOU'RE GONNA REGRET THAT #AND GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE IT ALL UNFOLD #MAKE THOSE BAD DECISIONS HELL YEAH LET'S GO #HORROR PROTAG SILLINESS #tmagp #tmagp 5 #tmagp spoilers #the magnus protocol #sam khalid #samama khalid #josie listens to podcasts #bs.txt

[gatoiberico]

parfait pals

#GAH my hands are tied with so much work right now so all I have is scribbles and doodles #so I'm gonna be posting sketches!!! either until I am free once more or forever and ditch the idea that I can only post polished pieces #what do u mean I'm a perfectionist ahah HAH #but I'm literally going to explode if I don't just #throw something out of my system #like this random thing #especially with the next arc that's coming up I am losing my marbles for tomorrow's episode already #if you're scared about how you're gonna survive mp100 in december you're not alone I am fearing for my sanity #jk but also (screams internally) #mp100 #mob psycho 100 #reigen #mob #elgatoiberico

[drawsmaddy]

[ID: A digital line drawing of Caleb Widogast and Vax'ildan from Critical Role. Caleb is drawn with wrinkles and he's saying "Okay babe I'm getting old, time for you to move on." Text underneath what Caleb says reads (Essek does not want to move on while Caleb is still ALIVE). Vax'ildan is drawn with the raven skull mask he wears as the Champion of the Matron of Ravens and he is holding his left hand up in a peace sign. Text above him reads "been dead for 30 years and still sending ravens" and below that (Keyleth can't move on) is written. End description.]

They both suck at this (affectionate)

#caleb widogast #vax'ildan #my art #critical role #critical role fanart #what end of the 'i'm gonna die before my partner' scale are you? are you trying to make them let go before you're even gone #or are you holding onto them long after you're dead? #shout out to will for crushing the dead husband game

[optigami]

ALSO ANOTHER THOUGHT. if there is evil marinette and good guy gabriel...then that means that there's a nice chloe out there...right??

#now mari is the bully instead of chloe LMAO #like if you're gonna go the whole opposite dimension route you gotta commit to it 100% #i'll make a polished drawing later HHUGHFD i just wanted to put the thought out there #anyway this chloe has a healthy family life and gets along with zoe #miraculous ladybug #miraculous au #miraculous world #ml paris special #chloe bourgeois #miraculous reverse #my art

[sensiblegh0st]

are the characters in proseka ever going to find out that they all are personal friends with the hit vocaloid hatsune miku (and others)

#project sekai #proseka #prsk #this is the funniest aspect of the game to me #imagine you think you're going through the most absurd unique experience only to find out that several of your classmates/friends have the #exact same thing going on. you all know hatsune miku. #im sure theyll all discover it eventually and its gonna be so funny when it happens

[superrpowerlesshuman]

#kastle #kastlenetwork #let's make fall 2023 the kastle comeback era #i got slapped with such a kastle mood out of nowhere so i'm gonna go and read me some high quality fics #and if you're reading this this is your sign to do the same

[petraforgedyke]

i’m seeing a lot of fear today about Tumblr Shutting Down (Real) (Actually True) today and let peepaw seg tell you a story

i’ve been on this webbed site for fifteen years, believe it or not, since way back in the days of Tumblarity. now i was but a wee lad at the time, so i don’t remember the fine details, but rest assured, it doesn’t matter much for the story i’m about to tell you.

you see, i remember when tumblr was owned by tumblr. folk called its ceo (david karp) “daddy”, and were enthusiastic about his communications, even if on our own blogs, we’d bitch and moan about tumblr making changes to things we were used to. i remember the hubbub when tumblr removed tumblarity, and how this was surely going to be the end of tumblr.

all those fifteen (though it might be sixteen) years ago.

layouts changed, and we’d bitch and moan, and tumblr’d get sold, and we’d know for sure that This Was The End Of Tumblr, For Real This Time. this happened again and again and again, because this webbed site, you see, it makes no money, and companies, greedy things as they are, like money.

the porn ban, under the reign of YaHoo that was, was seen as another death knell. tumblr was going to die, for real, for sure, and i’m not proud to say that i was one of the ones who fell for it. peepaw seg needed to sow hir wild oats on other platforms.

now, i say this happened under yahoo, but it’s important to remember that this ban came in the wake of both the apple app store banning the tumblr app on account of real life csem being hosted on tumblr, and the new usamerican law SESTA-FOSTA being implemented, which made it so that companies such as tumblr would have to moderate the explicit content on them to make sure none of it breached sesta-fosta. tumblr, being a small fish in the grand scheme of thing, didn’t warrant that amount of financial effort on yahoo’s part, as the site was still not making any money, and it’s easier and cheaper to blanket ban than it is to moderate. all this to say, it’s important to vote, because if you don’t, your internet freedom will be curtailed.

and now we’re here, some sixteen years on, and i’ll say automattic has been not all good, but definitely not all bad for the site. they changed stuff we liked to our discontent (layouts), and added stuff we hated (live), but they also gave us stuff we like (polls) and an amount of open communication about tumblr’s inner workings not seen since the days of david “daddy” karp. and now they’re putting just a skeleton crew on the tumblr project.

and that’s going to be The End Of Tumblr For Sure For Real Actually This Time. Really. Promise. Abandon Ship.

and we come to the crux of this story.

which is that this has happened before, and it will happen again, because tumblr is surprisingly immune to making any money.

what we’re likely to see in the coming time is no new features (that’s reserved for projects that make money), and an increase in ads, until one day, and this might be in a few months, and maybe in a few years, there’ll be an announcement that tumblr’s been sold to one direction to a new company.

and we’ll start the whole rigmarole again. and this company might be good for tumblr’s userbase, or it might go against everything the tumblr community holds dear. no way of knowing which way it’ll go.

until one day, some parent company will have had enough, and will pull the plug.

but for now… well, i’m gonna sit here on my porch (blog), and we’ll see what happens. i'm not worried, tumblr’s survived worse things.

#tumblr #but also legit #i've seen some 'oh if you give tumblr money you're a bad leftist' takes before #and like bestie how do you think this website is gonna keep running? #investors aren't going to be interested in a cow that's run out of milk #which leaves ads and data selling and yes user driven income #as far as parent companies go automattic's been decent enough to the userbase #it could be so much worse #automattic #seg.misc

[originalartblog]

oh whoops sorry I'll come back later 🫣

(and thank you @sensitiveheartless for being responsible for this 💖)

#yes that's chuuya's choker #alternative caption: pov you're chuuya and dazai has ideas #and then because of how i visualize dazai's hair i couldn't not think of the dogs ears so you get a smug flirty chibi as a bonus #which out of this context because i said it in the tags is gonna mean whatever you want #enjoy :) #bsd #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #bsd fanart #bsd dazai #bsd dazai osamu #skk #soukoku #<- implied #nawy's art #i'll go back to screaming about today's chapter now

[moonpaw]

#huehghhhuheugh i was hesitant to post this one #dont think im gonna tag it though #but man. im getting kinda tired of seeing the same argument over and over in the tag #and its like! ok! thats a valid reason! you're fine not to watch it! no one is forcing you!! #please stop putting it in the tag and on my posts!! ive seen it 1000 times!! #honestly this goes for nearly any series btw #dont put your anti-series post in the MAIN TAG #people go into the tag to look for content not to see people going ohhh im never gonna watch this because of XYZ #whats the point of it? who wins out of this? #of course its your blog and your tagging system but i am asking nicely not to flood tags unwanted #ok ok ok rant over sorry i just needed to get it out of my system for a bit

[systememergency]

Every time I find myself wanting to tell someone close to me I have DID I always get caught up on the fact that the majority of people don't experience this and wouldn't understand it intrinsically. It makes me feel like there's a huge communication barrier that I can't truly encapsulate, because the concept that people don't have alters is hard for me to understand. The fact people don't function in life like this and wouldn't get it how I get it makes me so hesitant to tell people what's going on. It feels so natural for me that it's actively difficult to explain. It would be like trying to explain breathing to someone who doesn't breathe

#My sense of identity has always been *massively* fractured #As a kid I would cry in frustration bc I couldn't act like a consistent person and was convinced I was possessed #The fact most other people just... don't go through that? Strange & unusual #I also get hung up on the fact that ik the vast majority of ppl do not give a shit and do not go out of their way to research stuff #So the burden would definitely be on me and what do I look like? Someone good at explaining things? Lol no #Tempted to just say Hey I have DID and if you wanna know what that means you're gonna have to research it yourself lol #actually did #did #osddid #did system #complex dissociative disorder #did osdd #dissociative identity disorder #system things

[secondbeatsongs]

"You're Gonna Go Far Kid" with every first beat removed

#you're gonna go far kid #second beat song #music #every other beat #every second beat #song #the offspring #also if you're thinking I'm not making a particular video out of this you'd be wrong #stay tuned #with apologies to crispy crungy ofc

[beif0ngs]

at this point, i'm just in awe at how they f*cked up a live action adaptation of ATLA twice... TWICE 🤦

#atla #Avatar the Last Airbender #huge red flag from the get go when Mike and Bryan decided to leave due to 'creative differences' #the characterization in the live action series was HORRIBLE #it's like they took every aspect that we love about the original characters in the animated series and just chucked it out the window #like what tf did they do with Bumi and Azula?!! #don't even get me started on Katara... #ugh i cannot even #and no amount of little references to the original animated series is gonna do sh*t #especially not if you're gonna ruin everything we love about these characters in the first place #just to clarify my gripe isn't with any of the actors it's with the WRITING #seriously just stop... #STOP MAKING LIVE ACTION ADAPTATIONS OF A PERFECTLY GOOD ANIMATED SERIES AND LEAVE THEM ALONE

[eddiezpaghetti]

Okay, so my experience with Stranger Things is a weird one.

I didn't care when it first came out, started to watch it out of "might as well" in 2020, wasn't interested in it enough to make it past S2, forgot about it outside of going "oh, hey, cool, there's a lesbian in it now, I guess," in S3, got really annoyed when "Running Up That Hill" got popular from it because it was a song I listened to on fucking loop after one of my best friends died in high school and I fully expected its appearance in the show to ignore the whole survivor's guilt theme of the song (and was very happy to learn later that it did the exact opposite of ignoring the lyrics), saw people drawing Eddie, suddenly got a lot more interested, watched just the fourth season like a fucking psychopath because I was seriously only there for Eddie, then got interested enough to start the show over properly, having mostly forgotten what I did watch of the show before.

And let me tell you something from the perspective of someone who started with the complete fourth season, who wasn't there from the start, who wasn't tainted by ship goggles or this internal battle of hope and despair, who wasn't theorizing about what the painting could be or expecting Mike and Will to kiss when Volume 2 happened or rooting for Mike and Eleven's relationship to go down in flames or whatever the fuck. Just someone who went blind into Season 4.

It's really fucking obvious that Will and Mike are gonna be endgame.

Like holy fuck. It's so fucking blatant I don't even know why people are nervous.

No sane fucking person would shoot this scene this way if they wanted the audience to care about El and Mike as a couple. Despite being all blurry in the background, Will's reaction to what's happening here is smackdab in the fucking middle, clearly showing that the important part is what's going through his head here. What he's feeling. It's like the opposite of that scene from Kingdom Hearts II where Sora and Riku reunite and Kairi just fucking vanishes into the aether while it's happening because, despite the fact that she was standing between them when the scene began, she doesn't matter to the scene, so she's just kind of gone when the camera angle changes. Will could have been behind one of their heads, or so far in the distance he blends in with the background, but he's not. He's so obvious that despite being massively blurred out, he's still the first goddamn thing you look at. What, you think that's an accident? You think he's in the middle of this dramatic fucking scene because of a mistake? He basically has a big flashing neon arrow pointing at him with "THIS IS THE POINT" being screamed through a megaphone.

And then this?

They're paired up like they're taking fucking prom pictures. Each one of these pairs is so fucking close to one another and so fucking far from everyone else. It's not, "Oh, they're standing vaguely near each other in a group shot," it's fucking Noah's Ark out here. Again, there's no way to take this as an accident. It's not just a framing issue. If they wanted to make the shot look balanced while still not hiding anyone else behind El, they would have scattered people around much more naturally. Even if they wanted to keep Nancy with Jonathan and Hopper with Joyce, there's so much room on that hill for three people to stand on El's left and three on her right. But they didn't do that. They put Mike and Will together on purpose in the most obvious way possible.

Like I get that coming up with crackpot theories is fun in and of itself and I'm not blaming anyone for having fun. I totally get the appeal of arguing a point and reaching for every stupid little thing to pull into it because it's like a game, okay? I've done that. But if you're trying to actually convince someone (whether it's someone who wants to believe or someone who's pissed at the very idea that Mike and Will could be in love), stay away from blue and yellow lights, stay away from costume design, stay away from the existence of closets in backgrounds. And don't worry about whether Mike's gay or bi when he's in love with Will either way. I'll give you a little tip about persuasion: You're only as strong as your weakest argument. Even if you've got strong stuff in there, too, the person you're trying to convince is going to dismiss anything you say as complete insanity the second you start going on an entire tangent about the shape of a character's fucking pocket.

Sometimes, clothes are just clothes. Sometimes, there's a closet in the background because it helps establish that a character is in a bedroom. Sometimes, blue and yellow are just a couple of colors that look nice together. And sure, it might be set designers and costume designers and cinematographers smirking and winking at the audience from behind the camera. But if the show was just those things, instead of those things in the context of everything else, they wouldn't be saying anything of note.

But this?

This tells a story all on its own. Someone with no context can look at this and automatically assume that each paired person is standing with someone they care about deeply, seeking comfort as they watch some sort of disaster unfold. And yeah, romantic couples usually come in twos, and we live in an amatonormative society, so that's going to be the first association anyone makes seeing a bunch of people paired off.

It's the same reason you look at this

And go, "Oh..."

"Those two are probably a couple."

And I genuinely don't understand how people could have watched S4 Vol. 2 and gotten scared. Because as someone who went in with no investment whatsoever, I just looked at these two--

--and went, "Oh, those two are a couple. Good for them." And I moved on. Shut up about the trees for five seconds and just see the forest for what it is.

Oh, and if you're still nervous? Little thing from a storyteller here: You don't leave a hanging thread like "Will confessed his romantic feelings for Mike by projecting them onto El, but Mike either didn't understand or at least didn't say he understood," without coming back to that later. That's Chekov's gun hanging on the wall, babes. It's gonna fire at some point. If Mike was going to reject Will's feelings, if they weren't relevant, they would have had that discussion in Argyle's van. There'd be no reason to leave you in suspense.

#byler #meta #stranger things #theory #I mean I fucking guess #in the same way gravity is a fuckin' theory. #It feels silly that I even have to say this honestly. #Watching people freak out over these two feels like I'm being pranked. #Like you guys aren't pulling a Goncharov are you? Just making believe there's any chance these two aren't gonna be endgame? #Like completely ironically? And I'm too autistic to catch it? #It genuinely feels like I'm explaining that red and blue make purple here. As if you guys should have learned this in kindergarten. #Or like watching whole-ass adults watch Cinderella for the first time and being on the edge of their seat #wondering if she's going to live happily ever after with the prince or not. #It feels like I'm talking DOWN to people and I don't WANT it to feel like that but it's so obvious and I don't want people to be like #anxious for no reason you know? #Like I get that we're all scarred from queerbaiting and I know you guys are biased from years of shipping these kids. #But like. These guys? The most obvious 'there's only one way this could go' couple I've ever seen? You're scared about THEM?

[nattikay]

friendly reminder that Neteyam is a well-adjusted kid who has a good relationship with his parents, that he tries his darnedest to be a good warrior because he genuinely looks up to his dad and wants to be like him, and that the idea that Jake and Neytiri are "forcing" him to be perfect, that they "stole his childhood" or that he's "not allowed" to be a kid, etc. are all pure fanfiction with little to no evidence in canon thanks bye

#avatar #avatar 2 #neteyam #given how hesitant Jake is to let Neteyam fight I can absolutely GUARANTEE you that there was almost certainly NEVER an interaction... #...in which Neteyam said ''hey Mom and Dad I'm gonna go hang out with Lo'ak and Kiri now'' #and Jake and Neytiri reply ''no son you're too old for such childish things you must come do Adult Tasks that you secretly hate instead #so you can be the Perfect Future Olo'eyktan™" #THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN #AND IT'S NOT “IMPLIED” TO HAVE HAPPENED EITHER #Y'ALL MADE THAT UP IN YOUR HEADS #along with the idea that Neteyam secretly hates his lot in life and is internally yearning to be A Normal Kid™ #guys Neteyam WANTS to be a warrior he WANTS follow in Jake's footsteps he strives so hard because HE *WANTS* TO OF HIS OWN ACCORD #there is absolutely d i d d l y s q u a t that suggests this path is being “forced” on him #or that he is being secretly ~crushed under the pressure~ and Just Wants to Be Free or w/e #you. made. that. up. #it's not a canon aspect of his character #and. look. if you wanna explore the idea of him being ''crushed under pressure'' in a fanfic #because you find it interesting or it helps you work through your own stuff then hey be my guest #but once you start saying stuff like #''oh i feel so bad for [canon] Neteyam because he died before he could break free of his parents' toxic influence'' #Shut Up™ #neteyam's parents were not a toxic influence; he was never forced into being something he didn't want to be; his childhood was not “stolen” #he did not have anything to “break free” of. you are injecting extra layers of tragedy that aren't actually there #you are giving yourself extra grief for things that were never canon #stahp #feel free to write whatever you want in fanfiction but please i am begging you #to be aware of which ideas are actually present in the movie vs. which ones are just fanfiction

[hypewinter]

When Clockwork told Danny to round up all the speeders, he thought it would be a quick errand. But then he stuck around. He couldn't help it ok? He had never been a witness to one of CW's tongue lashings. Only the receiver. That's why he wanted to listen to Clockwork chew these speeders out for their misuse of the speed force.

It's also why he was still around when Clockwork said "In order to help you manage your speed more, King Phantom will be teaching you."

Wait.....WHAT!?

#dp x dc #dc x dp #dpxdc #dcxdp #danny did not sign up for this #neither did the speeders #that's too bad huh #poor barry #having to leave league meetings early #when asked about it he replies #'i have to go train' #danny is not happy and he's taking it out on the speeders #if you're late by even a millisecond your gonna wish you were never blessed with the speed force #*you're #hyper prompts