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#if you read ALL of this: ily and im so sorry i hope it made sense
oceanic-sunsets · 2 years
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an analysis on Mike's feelings progression, and the Love Confession Epiphany trope
i've read many, many analyses about mike, his feelings [for will, and in general] and whether he's aware of them or not, and one very common, popular interpretation is that he's always had feelings for will, making byler fall into the "it's always been you" trope. and while i LOVE this interpretation, i want to offer my own perspective.
s1-s2 mike
i think at the beginning of the show, mike is truthful when he says they're all his best friends. they're all unique, and different from each other. mike has different dynamics with all of them, but they're all his best friends.
then, with will's disappearance and his later possession, mike realizes something: Will is special, and he IS different from the rest of his friends. we can see how he's aware of it by his shed monologue when he tells possessed will that asking to be his friend was the best thing he's done.
and, honestly? i STILL think that up to this point, all mike feels towards will is a VERY strong friendship, but, of course, people grow up and nothing ever stays the same.
s3 mike
oh, this is a complex one. we know mike spends most of his time with el, and we can interpret his behavior in a lot of different ways. there's ONE thing i know for sure: he's not doing it for "romance" or because he's so in love. We have to look at the events that took place in the previous seasons: in s1, el "died" saving everyone, and in s2 mike felt so, so guilty, so he spent so much time thinking about her and calling her. he wanted her to be safe, he began considering her one of his friends (a friend is someone you'd do anything for), and also, the fact that he was a 12 year old boy who just saw a girl sacrifice herself and vanish.
s3 mike, now going through puberty and entering his teenage years, is glued to el's side and he's doing it for two reasons:
he's scared to lose her again. as simple as that. she is his friend, who he thought he lost before, and he wants to make sure she is safe (sounds familiar?). one of mike's character traits is that he feels the need to protect other people, and this, of course, includes el.
it's what he's supposed to do: isn't it the natural progression of the story? el is the first girl mike has befriended. everyone around him started assuming he liked her simply because he was nice to her and cared. they started teasing him. and mike thought "yeah, it makes sense", because why wouldn't it?? it's what they see in the movies, tv, and comics all the time. However, i dont think by this point he's aware he's following societal's expectations. Mike genuinely enjoys spending time with el. they have fun together, find comfort in each other (mike gets a reminder that el is there, safe, not in danger anymore, and el has the company of one of the first people that showed her kindness and friendship) this is really undeniable. he doesn't particularly like kissing, but he doesn't dislike it either: he's a teenager, kissing is fun, makes you seem cool, and hey, if you run out of conversation topics you can just kiss and problem solved! i dont think he spends time with her out of pity, as a cover, or anything like that. he's just unaware he's hurting and sidelining his friends in the process, too. the context here matters, of course, because this isnt the modern world. this is the 80's, a time where being gay in a smalltown could be extremely dangerous, and the media spread misinformation about the aid's epidemic. so i dont think mike is aware of anything, but i can see this easily being one of his fears*: he and his friends (specially will) have been bullied by homophobic kids, the people in household doesnt seem particularly accepting, and it's a common experience for lgbt+ kids to feel this feeling of guilt, wrongness, not 'normal' from a young age and not understanding why.
...but then, of course, stuff happened, and said stuff involved one of the most important (see: s1-s2 mike) people in his life: will.
Will, hurt because it seems like his friends don't want to spend time together like they used to, tells mike he's ruining the party. so mike projects his fears* onto will:
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and mike immediately regrets it, realizing he's wrong. he gets, again, this feeling of guilt he's felt before, but a thousand times worse because it's his best friend he's talking to. and it's unfair, that's why he rushes to try to fix things.
next thing we know, mike is telling the entire room he loves el and that he can't lose her again. Sounds familiar? yeah, we went through this before, which is why i dont think it was a lie: of course he loves el and doesnt want to lose her. she's his friend and he has lost her before. this interaction here is what leads me to believe mike is STILL unaware, still fully believing that what he feels for el is romantic love..
up until the famous s3 finale, at least.
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this, this is when confusion starts to kick in. when he starts questioning things. El, his girlfriend, just told him she loved him and kissed him. But he's confused, as we can confirm by the script. because isn't he supposed to feel.... happier? more excited?? by his girlfriend telling him i love you? is this really how being in love feels?
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and this right here is where the path towards his character grow REALLY begins. mike is sad, and confused because nothing is turning out how it's supposed to. his best friend, who he spent so little time with thanks to his desire to grow up and trying to be who he was supposed to, is moving away. his girlfriend, who just told him 'i love you' (and isn't he supposed to be happier?) is moving away too, and he has no opportunity to try to discover what all of this means because they're moving away.
so he enters this phase of repression, bottling up his feelings and isolation. and mike ends s3 AWARE that things arent as it seem, that there's something that hasn't clicked yet, because despite his awareness, he doesnt understand why. after all, he did everything he was supposed to, didnt he??
enter: mike and s4. by this point, i'm convinced mike is starting to realize a couple of things: he can't say i love you to el, and will DEFINITELY falls into a different category than the rest of his friends. his absence wights on him more than ever: hawkins isn't the same without will.
he's also hyper-aware of this difference and doesnt even want to THINK about it, so he falls into his perfect boyfriend persona again (failing). This is what gives us the awkward airport hug and the rink-o-mania fight: mike is trying really hard to ignore his feelings, but by ignoring them, they start becoming more and more obvious.
he tried to reach out to will but it didnt work. will didnt reach out. He's hurt, because will, who is special to him is apparently ignoring him, and suddenly will is in front of him asking "what about us?" and mike panics, because that is too close to his fears* and the list of things he doesn't understand and are better left alone, untouched.
and this is also one of the reasons he feels so self-deprecating and insecure: despite trying so hard, he can't be the person who he wished he was: a better, more loving boyfriend who can say i love you and truly mean it. a better friend, who doesn't get confusing feelings and cares maybe a bit too much, someone who doesn't overcompensate and ends up coming across as emotionally detached.
but hey, apparently there's a light at the end of the tunnel, because suddenly will is delivering his endearing, loving speech about all these feelings El has for him and it's exactly what he needed to hear, and for the first time in a long time, he feels loved, special, wanted.
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and isnt it amazing?? he's finally hit by such intense emotions: this is how you're supposed to feel about your girlfriend!
but, hey, wait a second. why is el ignoring him after his big love confession? why does it not feel right, despite how he felt back in the van?
these are thoughts he can revisit later, tho, as there are more important matters at hand: the end of the world is about to begin.
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so mike ends s4: A) aware he cares too much about will, thinking that maybe more than will cares about him (because he didnt reach out), so he should pretend he cares less...? but wait, no, he still wants his best friend back, despite everything. B) even more confused. why did he felt so loved by el back in the van? but why is she ignoring him now? shouldn't his speech bring them closer??
i believe mike has all the puzzle pieces right in front of him, he just hasnt put them together yet. But. But. That's why Will's lie, his painting, exists. It's the key, it's finding out the truth about the painting what mike needs to understand himself and what those around him have been feeling.
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when mike started developing feelings for will is up to interpretation. Personally, i believe there were hints that there might be something else by the end of s3, but they didn't fully develop until s4, because a glimpse of a feeling is easier to ignore when the person involved is across the country. And despite projecting his fears* onto will in s3, it's only in s4 that he starts acting different towards Will, behaving awkwardly. it's s4 when he feels undeniably loved by someone. it's s4 when he admits Will is different from the rest of his friends, to the point of not considering Hawkins home because Will is not there. It's s4 when we REALLY start seeing their friendship change into a more intimate, yet tense dynamic.
So, yeah, Will has always been it for Mike, but his feelings weren't always romantic, and that's the beautiful thing about it. We watched him develop feelings for will on screen. we watched their friendship change, evolve, and slowly grow into something else.
One of the reasons why i think mike is not fully aware yet, despite NOW HAVING romantic feelings for will, is the simple fact that he has NEVER considered it. Finn wolfhard himself said mike is clueless. he's unaware. He doesn't even see it as an option, but once he learns the truth, it'll become one.
This is where the Love Revelation Epiphany trope comes in:
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The Truth about the painting is Mike's Love Revelation Epiphany. He already had feelings for will, he has had them for a while, but for Mike, it was something confusing, something he couldn't understand. It's only the truth about the painting and the meaning behind it that makes him realize them. It'll be his clarity, the moment where it starts making sense.
When, where, and how is something i don't know and i wont try to predict. But Will's painting isnt only about him. It doesn't only portray his truth, it's also a representation of Mike's truth, the culmination of his character arc, the progression of his feelings throughout the show, and the key piece we need to understand both of them and their actions.
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slimeylee · 3 months
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why have these last years fucking sucked ass
#slimey-vents#trigger warning below hi did you drink water today and eat something i hope u did ur so cool and amazing pls get some rest gives u a cookie#please scroll past if uninterested i also dont want u to feel obligated like u have to read n listen to me vent and ramble on abt dumb shit#like 2020 - 2024 . have just been ass .#we're not even halfway into 2024 and it already is just#garbage . like its fucking horrible#i dont see how this year could get . any worse ?? but i wouldnt want to get my hopes up on that itll get better ?#like god what has been happening .#covid came up technoblade got cancer and passed away israel's continuing their mass genocide#and a lot of things have happened in my personal life . such as my mother passing away .#and . its just been so fucking hard ??#i wish i had lasting hope in humanity . but tbh i dont think its ever gonna get any better and that really fucks w me#ive been having suicidal thoughts and ive just been in a very shitty mental state recently#like social media#is honestly the only thing i have to live on#i have honestly boring friends n all my friends dont go to my school . my gf doesnt even go to my school#ive had to switch schools after having a fun time and doing a lot better . the only thing that im holding on by a thread to is social media#all my friends . my fandoms . etc . i talk to through my phone and through here#im so glad to have met everybody that i have on here#im sorry this is getting really long ive started going on a ramble but i just want everyone to know that i love yall /p#i appreciate everybody so much . all my moots and my close friends that ive made not only here but irl as well#and everybody that ive talked to throughout the time we've known each other . i really just want to think that everything will get better#everybody that ive met through my years of social media and school have really changed my life . and idk what i wouldve done#having never met any of them . especially my moots on here that ive grown close to#its just been stressful . but ive strived to get through it all . despite how hard it is#and how desperately i just want to let go from everything#but ending one thing doesnt end any pain it just gives it on to someone else#and i know that im way too pussy to end anything anyways .#but on another note .#please remember that you are amazing . talented . strong . and i appreciate and ily so much . /p
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taintedcigs · 6 months
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˚     . ✧ 𝐒𝐔𝐂𝐊 𝐈𝐓 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐒𝐄𝐄
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vol 2; summer breeze — king!steve harrington x fgirl!reader x eddie munson
summary: in which some chaos ensues between the boys and billy, and one of the boys finally get what they want; you. (wc: 6.5k+)
warnings: smut smut smut, minors DNI, p in v, creampie, unprotected (wrap it up irl im so serious) kinda fist fight? billy gets punched, im sorry but billy gets punched a lot in my fics, protective steddie hehe, drgs, weed basically, no use of ‘y/n’, degrading, praises, LOTS OF PRAISES, nicknames! reader is kinda heartless basically a maneater and kinda of a mastermind, eddie is a cutiepie.
authors note: not proof-read ignore mistakes ! thank u @andvys for giving me the best ideas always and thank u for helping me! ily and hope u enjoy this mwah!!! also yall know mastermind by ts? and how its kinda supposed to be sarcastic? well i took that song too seriously and literally. listened to a lot of metal and this fic is their love child! enjoy !!
and please like + reblog + interact to support me ! thank u ily
read vol. 1 here
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Fuzzy.
Exactly how your mind and body felt.
You didn’t expect to do that with Steve.
King Steve. You were just supposed to play with him.
He wasn’t supposed to make you feel like this.
And it wasn’t anything, it was purely physical. Or at least that’s what your mind forced you to think.
Because no one had ever made you cum like that before, no one ever attended to you like that before.
Pathetic. Really pathetic. You’ve fucked half the guys in Hawkins, yet one night with Steve, and he didn’t even fuck you, yet that’s all you could think about.
You sucked on the cigarette sitting between your lips, the feeling giving you a lewd reminder of earlier when you remembered how good he felt between your lips, sliding down your throat.
Shit shit shit. Shut the fuck up. What the fuck was wrong with you?
“Want something stronger than that?” The voice belonged to the curly-haired boy you were looking everywhere for.
It felt like a fucked up horny deja vu. 
Turning around swiftly, the smoke formed around the air between you when you blew it in his face, making him grin. “Eddie!” Your tone gleeful, “Been looking everywhere for you!” Sweet. Sweet but so fucking dangerous. Eddie knew that about you.
He knew about the effect you had on everyone. I mean, he wasn’t complaining, he was right there in line with them. Just to have a glimpse of you.
He and Steve shared one thing in common; you.
Maybe that’s eventually what drew them closer, both boys begging for your attention in every way possible. Pathetic, but you were so tempting.
They teased each other about you, Eddie bragged about the countless times you batted your lashes at him, the countless times you twirled and giggled at him.
and Steve bragged about how you looked at him with your alluring eyes, or how you called him ‘baby’ that one time. 
Eddie was sure he had never seen Steve the way he did with you, because Steve usually never got hung up on one girl, it was simple for him, he’d fuck one and then move to another. But you always kept him on his toes. Something no one ever did before. So he always tried and tried, failing regardless. 
He didn’t blame him, he’d burn the world down if you asked him to, even though the only interactions he had with you were when you bought something from him, or the countless times you winked at him whenever he saw you around. God, that had him on his knees. 
So it was no surprise he almost melted when you said those magical words. You? Looking for him? 
“Me?” A rush of bubblegum pink is quick to rise to his cheeks. He can’t help himself, Steve was going to freak out when he found out how you were looking for Eddie. God, he was going to have fun with this. 
“Where’s Billy?” He added, trying to sound cool when he lit the freshly rolled joint sitting on his wetted lips. 
He was cute. Didn’t even know the rumors, and the blush on his cheeks weirdly had you need him. 
“We broke up,” you hummed, and a boyish grin sat on his lips immediately while he noted how you didn’t have a sad bone in your body, that jerk didn’t deserve you. “I’m just having fun now, you know?” You added with a smirk. 
You were going to be the death of him. He could be fun, he could be so fucking fun, he could make you feel fun you’ve never felt before. 
“Oh, yeah? With who, now?” Shit, shit, shit. That is not what he meant to say, he was an absolute fucking idiot. A grade one asshole.  
Your eyes widened when you tilted your head, “are you calling me a slut, Munson?” You snatched the joint from his lips, earning a whine from him as you kept your piercing eye contact. 
The pinkish color on his cheeks turned blood red, and you could see him almost fidgeting. Why did you find it so endearing? 
“N-no! No that’s not what I meant at all! You’re not a slut! I mean if you want to be you could be— I mean you’re not but—” His words tangled with each other adorably, and you couldn’t help but let out a deep chuckle. 
“I’m just playing with you!” You playfully nudged his shoulder, adoring the way his grin came back instantly, you took a long drag from the joint before passing it back to him. “Don’t worry, baby.” 
Eddie almost lost it at that.
Suck it, Steve. She called him baby, too, and now they were fucking even. 
“I’m having fun with everyone that douchebag hates.” You muttered with a smirk. 
Eddie desperately needed to make Billy hate him, maybe he could rip him off the next time he brought from him, or maybe he could just… sucker punch him? 
“Steve was fun.” You giggled, remembering the way he was so pathetically begging for you to stay. And you had to admit he was good, the best you had in this messed up town. 
Eddie blinked quickly, struggling to process what you just said… You.. and.. Steve?
“Steve?” He almost stammered, face growing hot at what you were implying, did that little asshole actually manage to be with you? You?!? 
“Steve Harrington?” He repeated.
“Yeah,” you hummed, brows scrunching at his dumbfounded expression… What was going on? Was he… jealous?
 “You jealous, Munson?” You giggled with a smirk, brow raised and all bold. So upfront that it has Eddie stammering and blushing all over again. 
“N-no, uh— Steve is my friend is all.” He adds, taking a long drag from the joint to keep himself together, he has to look all confident because he wants to impress you. 
He just doesn’t know that you being all flustered is what draws your attention. Confident but still cute. The exact mix you need for Steve’s arrogance. And they’re friends? Fuck, just the thought of them together has you rubbing your thighs. 
“Oh!” You hum, “That’s funny because I was actually going to go for you, but Steve found me first.” You know the effect that will have on Eddie, you see it in the way he coughs while exhaling the smoke, wetting his lips while he tries to play it cool. 
Sadly, it’s all interrupted by the one and only. Billy fucking Hargrove. 
His hand roughly makes you turn to him before you can comprehend what’s happening, “Fucking Harrington, really?” He spat in your face, nostrils flaring with how angry he was, but all it did was make you want to laugh in his face—the audacity of this little boy. 
Eddie’s quicker than you to react, trying to push him away from you but Billy shakes off his hold. “Get away from her.” Eddie spits. Billy ignores him with a scoff, attention all on you. 
You hate the way your stomach flutters at Eddie being protective, what the fuck are these boys doing to you?
“You kiss Tina in front of everyone, and me fucking Harrington is the problem?”
“You fucked him?” Billy lets out through gritted teeth, technically, you didn’t but it seemed like Billy only thought the two of you kissed. 
Before you could answer he clenched his fists, “I’m gonna fuckin’ kill him.” 
Shit. You really didn’t think this through, did you? 
A guilty feeling settled into your stomach, Steve didn’t deserve that. And he definitely didn’t deserve to get beaten up because of you. You swallowed the lump in your throat and grabbed Billy by the arm to stop him from searching for Steve.
“D-don’t!” 
“Excuse me?” Billy said, pinching his brows together.
“Please don’t do anything to him.” Eddie watches everything unravel, taken aback by how willing you are to throw yourself under the bus for Steve. It makes his brows furrow and makes him almost get a glimpse of you, behind that cool facade, behind that whole act. It entices him more and more.
“Jesus fucking Christ.” Billy scoffs, “You fuck him one time, and look how pathetic you get. No wonder everyone keeps calling you a slut—”
A loud thud resounds in your ears, you barely register what happened before you turn to see Steve shaking off his fist with a smirk on his face. “Don’t fucking call her that again.” 
Billy chuckles loudly at the impact, blood quickly dripping down his nose and an obvious red mark bruising his cheek. “My my, Harrington coming to defend his new little slut, huh?” 
And this time, another thud of a punch resonated from your side, and you audibly gasp. 
Eddie. 
These boys were going to be the death of you, appearing out of nowhere and then doing shit like this. 
They stood in front of you, arms crossed against their chest as they eyed Billy groaning on the ground, it wasn’t long before Tina came with her annoying shriek and a crowd formed around the four of you, the two boys were quick to drag you out of the party. 
“Couldn’t stay away from me, could you, sweetheart?” Steve muttered in your ear with his lips twitched into a smirk. 
Cocky bastard. 
You gave him a slight smile. “Actually… I was looking for this one,” you hummed sweetly, hand gently nudging Eddie’s shoulder. A grin sat on his lips, he itched to elbow Steve, who just gave him a roll of his eyes. 
“But, thank you, both.” You give them a shy smile, it’s meaningful, and you’re grateful to have them protect you. 
“Anything for our special girl,” Steve winks.
“Want us to take you home?” Eddie interrupts, eyeing you, he can see that you’re a bit shaken up, even though you try to hide it. 
“No need, boys. Can walk home!” You giggle with a wink. 
“We insist.” Steve steps up, leaning into the car, hips jutted out. All slutty, and it’s tempting. But, no. 
You had fucked up enough today and gotten your feelings too involved. You couldn’t do it. 
You gave both of them a sloppy kiss on their cheek before you got on your feet, “My house is just around the corner.” 
“See you around, boys.” You winked one last time, turning back before they could say anything, walking away with a strut as you could almost feel their gaze burn your back. 
Both boys watched you with their jaws almost open, teeth biting onto their bottom lips with hope. They wanted—needed you. 
。°。°。°。°。°
“I’m tellin’ you dude, it was fuckin’ unreal. She was just so good,” Steve hummed into the ice cream he took a stripe of lick from.
Eddie grunted. “Jesus, fuck. Still can’t believe she let you even near her.” He glared daggers into him.
Steve grumbled a chuckle, nudging him. “Jealous much, Munson?” His lips curled into a boyish grin, face inches away from Eddie who was now stammering.
“C’mon, we can share, can’t we big boy?” Steve winked, enjoying the crimson red coloring the curly boy’s puffy cheeks.
“Nothing we haven’t done before,” He hummed, sucking his cheeks with a ‘mmhmm’ sound as the flavors of the strawberry goodness flooded his senses.
They did have threesomes before, but this was different, this was you. It meant so much more to Eddie, and selfishly, he wanted you to himself first, too. 
“If you can even get her,” Steve smirked, knowing if it took him this long, Eddie would have to try for years.
“Oh, don’t worry about that.” Eddie winked with a new-found confidence
“I’ll turn on the Munson charm.” He snapped his fingers together with a wicked grin, “and she’ll be beggin’ for me in no time.” 
Steve couldn’t even keep the throaty chuckle for a second before he patted Eddie on the back. “Good fuckin’ luck with that.” 
You shouldn’t have been eavesdropping, but how could you not when they were right fucking in front of you?!
And after Steve said, they had done threesomes before, your mouth watered just at the thought of both boys towering over you, attending to your every need, trying to dominate you but also pathetically begging for more. 
And if you framed everything correctly, they’d want to fuck you and would think they were the ones in charge, not knowing you were the mastermind behind all of it.
“Hi, boys!” You waved with a giggle, rushing to their side as your skirt rode up your thigh, both boys turning their bodies fully to meet you. 
Both of their Adam’s apple bobbing at the sight of you—a graphic baby tee showing just enough of your skin, paired with the most perfect skirt Steve has ever seen, and Eddie’s eyes were almost glued to your chest, enjoying the way your breasts jiggled as you walked. 
You couldn’t hide your smirk at their widened eyes, men were so easy. 
They both stammered, and you wished you weren’t enjoying this so fucking much. But, you were. You had to have both of them. 
Letting your tongue swirl around the cone in your hand, you looked up at Eddie. “What flavor is that?” 
“Chocolate,” He replied quickly, “I love chocolate!” You exclaimed, and Eddie grew weak in his knees, gulping and letting his cock strain himself against his zipper. God, he felt like a fucking pervert. 
“Do you wanna try some?” He barely managed to speak clearly and you nodded quickly with a grin, Steve watching it all with a huff. 
Without giving him a chance to do anything, you wrapped your palm around his, giggling while you let the cold silkiness coat your tongue, lapping at it while your focus remained on Eddie’s dark eyes. 
He almost groaned at the sight; you knew that was your cue. “Tastes so delicious, Eds.” You hummed with an exaggerated sound, reveling in the way Eddie blinked quickly to register all of it. 
“Wanna try mine?” Steve’s silky, cocky voice had your attention shifting, you raised a single brow, shrugging. 
“Already tried that, thanks,” Your voice carries a bit of coldness but is still alluring enough to have Steve crave more from you. 
“I don’t think you tried all of it, sweetheart,” His voice still held that cool tone, tongue sticking out to lick a stripe from the cone wrapped around his palm, almost giving you a flashback as rosy lips framed the words so lewd that you had to do something. 
You were quick to tilt your head sideways, leaning in just enough to have your velvety lips against his, Eddie watched in awe, enjoying the way you sucked on Steve’s tongue, letting the sweet strawberry flavor explode your taste buds as exaggerated sounds left your lips as you pulled away, leaving Steve with nothing. 
“Mhmm, you’re right, Stevie,” You hummed, Steve’s face wearing a shock you hadn’t seen before. “But I think mine, tastes so much better…” You cooed facing Eddie, “Wouldn’t you agree, pretty boy?” You directed it at Steve, relishing the dumbfounded look on his face, while Eddie watched all of it with a contented sigh. 
He needed both of you. 
You needed both of them. 
And Steve would do anything for you, and for Eddie, even if he never would explicitly show it. 
“Y-yeah,” he stammered, bringing a wicked smirk to your face. Easy. 
Before you turned to leave, you faced Eddie, “Oh!” 
“Do you have any free time this afternoon?” If you gave him those eyes and that sweet tone, he’d give you all of his time in the world. 
“Uh-huh, of course.” He's sure his voice sounds so squeaky but you smile at him so sweetly that it melts away all his worries.
“Okay, do you mind if I drop by? I need something to relax, and to let a little bit of my steam off…” You winked at him, you couldn’t be more obvious, and Eddie almost went limp at your words, no need for the Munson charm after all. 
“S-sure!” He exclaimed, mouth curling into a wide grin. 
“See you later, boys.”
。°。°。°。°。°
“Really?” Eddie eyed you with a raise of his brows, getting more and more comfortable the further both of you inhaled from the rolled joint, your knee brushed against his, and his worries ghosted away with it. 
“You think Michael Myers is hot?”
“Yeah!” You nodded, “Too weird for you, Munson?” you nudged him playfully.
“No, no! It’s just… how? He has a mask on,”
With a shrug, “The mask is the appeal,” you giggle. 
He scrunches his brows, confused. “The mystery of the mask is what makes him sexy.” You shrug, and a soft ‘oh!’ escapes his lips. 
He’s quick to ash the joint to the skull resin ashtray, getting up in a rush, causing you to furrow your brows, “what the hell are you doing?”
He turns with a grin, “getting a mask.” 
You giggle at that, “Oh, trust me, you don’t need a mask pretty boy.”
“W-what?” He blinks quickly to process all of it, bringing a wide smile to your lips as you almost drag him by the collar of his shirt. 
Eddie’s almost frozen, his mind explodes at how forward you’re being, pants getting tighter when he realizes how close you are to him. 
It’s finally happening and he can feel himself melt into you, he lets you stripe him of his control and his lips part slightly in surprise. 
Mind struggling to process if this is all real. With a giggle you take him by surprise when you tug your fingertips at his messy curls, twisting his head to the side as you crash your lips down to his. 
Dangerously sweet, addicting, and bold. And Eddie is putty in your hands.
“The prettiest lips,” you hum into his mouth. 
“Yeah?” He almost blushes a rosy color, and you can’t help but relish that feeling, letting it sink to your chest at how beautiful he looks when he’s so flushed, and you realize you need both of them. 
You need Steve’s cockiness, you need Eddie’s tentativeness at the same fucking time. 
And both of their dominance. 
You whimper needily, the feel and taste of his soft lips flood all over your body, making you ache. Holy shit, he’s fucking good. 
“F-fuck,” He whimpers as he pulls back, mind trying to register everything, but he’s quick to dive back in once he realizes he just stopped kissing you. 
A passionate, needy kiss, his tongue exploring your mouth, teeth nibbling on your bottom lip, as his hand roughly grabs your waist, pulling you further. You feel hot, skin buzzing at how demanding he is. 
Then he slowly moves from your lips to your jaw, down to your neck, leaving sloppy kisses all over, and you can’t help but feel that warm slickness coating your thighs at how fucking needy he is for you. 
And you know exactly what you need to do to lure him in, entirely. 
“N-need you, Eds,” you whine into his lips, brows pinched together and Eddie’s already about to explode in his pants, you’re fucking perfect. 
“Where do you need me, angel?” He asks, all obedient and it has your core throbbing with need. 
Your thighs part slowly, skirt riding up more and more as you expose yourself to him, and Eddie’s teeth drag on his bottom lip at the sight. “Here,” nails rake on the surface of the couch beneath your legs, pussy fully on display. 
He almost groans at the sight, but no, he has to take control back again, he has to impress you. 
And he wants to savor this moment, enjoy you, fully. 
It gives him all the confidence he needs, with a slight push he has you on your back, sprawled on the couch, you’re surprised by the sudden change of control, but anticipation jumps in your insides, not knowing his next move is exciting and you let him enjoy it. 
His hands start to idly run everywhere on your body, all grabby and rough. You don’t know what to expect from him, and it certainly isn’t this, his hold on your hips, breasts, and thighs, enough to leave a mark, still gentle, still attentive but equally rough and it has you almost whining out. 
He’s perfect. 
“Needy baby,” He hums, planting a sloppy kiss on your neck. “What do you need… my fingers or my tongue?” 
You shamelessly spread your legs further, enjoying his weight on top of you, hard bulge pressing against your thigh, but you need more. “Both.” 
And your whiny answer is all he needs, his rough hands travel down to your inner thighs, almost toying as he drags his mouth all over you. Nibbling and biting all over your neck, shoulder, breasts, everywhere. 
He’s quick to drop down between your legs, and he groans at the sight of your puffy lips and dampened thighs, “Jesus Christ…” His teeth draw on his bottom lip.
“No panties?” 
“Nuh-uh,” you giggle shamelessly, and he’s almost fucking gone. The fabric of his pants so painfully harsh against his erected cock that he hisses. 
Your legs quiver when he traces a finger around your opening teasingly and his mouth is pressing kisses down your inner thigh, sloppy and filthy. 
“So fuckin’ beautiful,” he hums into you. 
Your little whimpers and the sight of you so relaxed make Eddie a madman, he understands Steve’s non-stop blabbing about you the last few days, granted, he always knew you were perfect. 
But once he gets a taste of this, and a sight of you like this, he knows he can’t fucking quit, ever. 
“More.” You hiss out a breath as his fingertips gently circle your clit. It’s demanding, and Eddie’s amber gaze is dark as it meets yours. “Behave,” He warns, it’s electrifying, making you want to disobey more than anything, everything about him draws you in. 
With a smirk, you run your hand down his arms, meeting his fingertips with a gaze so dangerously lewd that Eddie’s eyes almost roll to the back of his head. “But I’m aching… I need so much more.” 
He groans, loudly. “So fucking needy, aren’t you? Only for me, huh?” 
He wants reassurance, he wants you to tell him he’s better than Steve. And you don’t, because you need both of them, so you just tease him enough, just so both of them could get the idea of proving themselves to you. 
You could just imagine them both taking turns, trying to prove to you which one would make you cum more, complementing each other, striping you out of your control, just for that one second, not knowing that you planned all of it.
It’s sick, a bit deranged, and stupid. But exactly what you need.
“Mhmm, only for you, baby.” 
Endearing words have him quick to push two fingers inside of you, still agonizingly slow, withdrawing a breath when he feels your slick walls. 
His fingers slowly go in and out of you, the suspenseful score from the movie almost mirrors your heartbeat, rising each time he gives you a grin, basking in your whines. 
“Look so pretty like this, sweetheart,” he praises, enjoying how your lips part slightly, pretty whines coming out of it. He circles your clit at a slow pace, still. Relishing in the way his name slips past your mouth so desperately, almost begging. 
He presses a light kiss to your clit, and you shudder at the impact, gazing down at him, “You like the way I look between your pretty thighs?” He hums into your walls. 
“Yes,” You coo, and he doesn’t hesitate to dive in, parting your cunt with his thumb before his tongue is teasingly lapping up at you. 
It’s all so filthy and intimate that you immediately squeeze your eyes shut, his fingers, his tongue, it’s all too much but at the same time not enough. 
You need him, you need more from him. It’s just not enough. 
“Makin’ prettiest noises for me, such a good girl, aren’t ya?” You hum excitedly, all fucked out as you grind yourself on his mouth, you don’t know what it is, but you can’t help yourself, fingertips latched onto his curls, head thrown back, you feel like screaming. 
And he’s torturously slow, giving you everything you need but not fully everything, withdrawing just a little to have you go crazy. And it’s fucking working, his tongue works wonders inside of your walls, his name falling like a prayer from your lips. 
Not fucking enough. And it’s frustrating, to feel so on edge. 
You shouldn’t do this, you shouldn’t beg for more, but you can’t help it, it’s all hazy and you want more, it’s like you’ve been deprived, and he feels so fucking good. 
And maybe, you letting Eddie fuck you could drive Steve further, you could just imagine the scorched face on Steve’s look when he found out, and you want that mean side of him. You want him to compete for your attention, you want him to stripe you out of your control, for once in your fucking life.
You try to drag at his curls to feel his tongue more and more, flicking at your clit agonizingly slow but he slaps your hand away, warning you with his dark gaze. 
“I need more,” you pout, looking down at him all doe-eyed. 
“Need you to fuck me,” you whine with a hidden smirk, Eddie’s eyes flashing a hunger that has you all excited in your tummy.  
“Needy little slut,” he murmurs in your ear. “Steve wasn’t enough for you?” You love the newfound confidence in him, the sudden change in his tone, the darker his eyes get, the way he cooes has you dripping with need. 
You shake your head with a giggle, “Steve didn’t fuck me.” 
“What?” That brings an unintentional grin to his lips. You didn’t let Steve fuck you but you were going to let Eddie fuck you? Oh, he could just cum in his pants right then and there. 
You? Begging to be fucked by him? He was in heaven, and you were the prettiest angel. 
“No wonder, he can’t fucking shut up about you,” 
So your plan was working. 
“I don’t blame him, angel. I wouldn’t be able to quit you right after I tasted you either, so fucking perfect, hmm?” He gives you a dazzlingly addicting kiss, lips tasting like you and you hum into it. 
You try to pull him closer by his shirt, but he doesn’t let you, making you pout innocently at him. “I need you.” You don’t know how he has you like this, and you try to make your brain believe that this was your plan, but you wholeheartedly want this, you want him to fuck your brains out. You want him to make you cum until you physically can’t anymore. 
A possessive look sits on his face, gaze all dangerous and it has you wanting more, “You have me.” A wicked grin overturns on his lips, he’s quick to get rid of his clothes, almost ripping open your blouse. Fingertips brush over your skin with such passion that it almost burns.
He groans at the sight of your breasts, hands itching to grab them, mouth watering at the sight. “So.” A kiss on your breasts, “fucking”, a nibble, “perfect.” His hands grabbed everywhere, mind reveling in everything.
Still struggling to realize if this was all real or not. He was hooked, so fucking hooked. 
He couldn’t blame Steve for not shutting up about you, you were addicting. He was right, maybe the two of you could share. He wouldn’t be opposed to it at all, if there was one thing the three of you were good at, it was this. 
“That stays on.” He hums against your chest, fingers sliding over the tight little skirt you were wearing, flipping it over to your stomach but not taking it off.  
You were whining like a bitch in heat now, eagerly watching him take off his cock from his already wet boxers, patches of pre-cum had formed on it and you couldn’t help the delicious smirk on your face. 
With a painful groan, his cock slipped past his boxers, and your eyes widened at the sight. 
Salmon pink tip pearled with his pre-cum, looking so delicious that your mouth involuntarily opened at it, he was almost as big as Steve, only thicker, and slightly more curved to the left, perfect, just fucking perfect. 
You understood his cockiness when it came to this, he was absolutely packing and by the way he had been acting, you could tell he knew how to fucking use it. 
He leaned back slightly, still positioned between your thighs before he took his cock in his hand, with a dangerous gaze, he jerked at it, letting out a small groan with a sly smirk. 
You could feel your thighs dampening when he circled the angry tip over your clit. “That feels good, doesn’t it, angel?” Mocking, cruel, teasing. And you loved every fucking second of it. 
“Y-yeah,” You murmur, eyes squeezed shut, your thighs are almost shaking and he’s watching you with a smirk, it’s all too sensitive and everything he does gives you an electrifying pleasure that you haven’t felt before. 
Shutting up all the avoidant voices in your head that tell you you shouldn’t be doing this. Your thoughts and your body is consumed by pleasure as you hazily look down, his hand still on his cock while he drags it down through your folds. The tip of his pink slit parts you slightly, enjoying the way you’re gushing for him. 
“Jesus fucking Christ… look at this cunt… just soaked for me,” he growls and lines his throbbing cock at your entrance, a loud needy moan escapes your lips, making him gloat.
“Look at how greedy your pussy is, angel… practically pulling me in.” He teases, cock still dragging along your folds, and you are about to embarrassingly beg, before he finally drives his cock the rest of the way into your aching cunt, “Fuck, fuck, fuuuck!” He groans loudly, his moans deliciously lewd. And your whines are mixed with his. 
His hands are everywhere, rough, and grabby, almost like they are marking you. His hips thrust further into you fucking all of your worries away. 
“Look how well you’re takin’ me, doll.” He hums, eagerly watching the way his cock disappears in and out of your soppy walls, mouth hanging open as curses slip past it at each of his movements. 
“Eddie…” You whimper, you can’t focus, you can’t even fucking think. Your brain is short-circuiting by how good everything he feels, how he is hitting that one spot and is stretching you wider and wider, and you are doing everything you can to adjust to his size. 
“What d’ya need, baby?” He coos mockingly.
He’s so much more cocky now, and he has earned it because he’s that good and you’re awfully pathetic for him. 
You want to speak, but it’s almost as if you’re unable to, it’s frustrating, and Eddie is loving every second of it. 
“Awww, so cock drunk that you can’t even speak, princess?” Another harsh thrust has you whining and squirming. 
“You need more, baby? Need me deeper inside of this tight little cunt?” He hums, cock slamming inside of you so agonizingly slow that it has you moaning for more, you’re simply fucked out and he’s too far gone. 
“Need me to stretch it out with my big cock?” You nod so quickly that your head almost falls off, and Eddie’s chuckle reverberates loudly, echoing in the room with your whimpers. 
“Greedy little slut.” He picks up his pace, and you’re fully lost in desire now, clinging to him as each of his thrusts pushes you closer and closer, he’s filling you to the brim and it nearly has you sobbing beneath him. 
“You feel so good, sweetheart. Fuckin’ soaked for me and this tight cunt was just made for my cock, wasn’t it?” He growls against your neck, licking a path from your collarbone to the shell of your ear, grinning like a Cheshire cat. 
Your eyes are squeezed shut, head thrown back in full euphoria while he thrusts in and out of you, setting a hard, brutal pace. Teeth sucking into your shoulder to slow himself down, to stop the release he can feel building.
Incoherent babbles are all that leave your lips, you can feel that familiar knot forming in your stomach, “Y-yes, yes!” You whine, “I’m close, baby.” You lift your hips, trying to grind it against his cock to get more friction. 
It’s all filthy and desperate and it has Eddie’s eyes rolling to the back of his head. You’re so fucking perfect for him and you stick to his mind. 
This image of you, begging, his name falling from your swollen lips, all fucked out and spread for him. It’s doing the best fucking damage to his mind and he can’t get enough of you. 
“You gonna cum for me, honey? Wanna soak my cock?” His words are so lewd and it has you nodding like an idiot, you want him to cum with you, you need to feel him inside of you. Filling every fucking inch of you. 
He can feel your pussy clamping around him, it’s all glorious and he wants nothing more than to engrave this image of you to his brain. He wants Steve to know, how you were mewling for him. “Cum for me, angel.” He praises, slamming inside of you deeper than before, thrusts getting sloppier the more he sees how close you are. 
He wants nothing more than to last, but your whimpers, the way you take him in, your mouth hanging open, it’s all fucking too much, and he knows if you give him one more whine or one more filthy talk he’s going to explode. 
You writhe under him, so painfully good, but fucking impossible to hold yourself back once his thumb circles around your clit.
“W-want you to cum, too. Need to feel you i-inside.” You encourage him, and he groans at the idea of cumming together with you, balls drawing up and ready to fill your insides. 
“Fuck, fuck, fuuuck, baby,” He growls, slamming into you once, twice, thrice. “If you say shit like that I’m gonna—fuck, fuck, fuck, baby!” He can feel his cock filling you to the brim, hitting that sensitive spot one last fucking time and you know it’s over.
“Cum for me, pretty boy.” You cry out as you orgasm, pleasure shooting through your already hazy mind, and that’s all the encouragement Eddie needs before he chases his own release. 
He pounds into you one final time, deeper and harder, in a frenzy with how badly he needs to cum inside of you. With a few ‘fuck’s and ‘shit’s, and ‘so f-fucking perfect’s he growls your name as he fills you up. Not slipping out until he’s sure you’re filled full of him. 
He collapses next to you with a sigh of breath, a sloppy kiss on your shoulder as he’s trying to register what the fuck just happened. 
You don’t give him a minute to breathe when you quickly get up, collecting your blouse as you ignore the confused look on his face. 
“What are you doing?” 
“Getting ready?” You answer with a giggle. 
“What for?” 
“To leave, pretty boy.”
“B-but we just-” 
He sounded so adorable, but you couldn’t. You couldn’t allow yourself to fall into a mess of feelings, and yet without knowing, you were already walking right into it. 
“I’m going to this thing at The Hideout today.” You murmured while fixing your skirt and hair in the mirror. Skirt creased and hair all chaotic. You thought you looked a fucking mess, but Eddie would argue that's the prettiest you looked.
Ruined by him.
“There’s this band—”
“Corroded Coffin?” Eddie replied quickly. 
“How did you know?” You turned with a raised brow, intrigued. 
“You’re looking at their lead singer, sweetheart.” He replied smugly, a grin sitting on his plump lips. 
“Oh my god!” You said in a mock screeching voice, “Can I please get your autograph, Mr. Rockstar?” You batted your eyelashes with a twirl of your hair, giggling when he narrowed his gaze at you. 
“You’re lucky, you’re so pretty, huh?” You shouldn’t have felt your cheeks heat at the comment because he just fucked your brains out, but shit was he smooth. Making you blush with one fucking compliment. You were way too deep into this, weren’t you?
“So you listened to our stuff?” He asked, with a beaming smile on his face, too cocky. And it killed you to tell him you didn’t when he had the most adorable look on his face. 
“No, but, this might be a great first listening experience.” You hummed, “So make sure you don’t suck, Mr. Rockstar.” Your hand turned the doorknob when you threw him a wink. 
“Don’t worry, sweetheart. I will rock your fuckin’ world," He returned the wink. “Again.” He said with a smug smile and a cool tone. 
You rolled your eyes playfully at him, “Oh, and make sure to invite Steve too.” You hummed nonchalantly as Eddie nodded, almost obediently.
He would do anything you asked him to. 
Maybe you shouldn’t have accepted to go, because it was never any good to fuck the same guy twice, especially with someone like Steve who just slept around, or someone like Eddie who wore his heart on his sleeve. It would either end with your heart broken or theirs. Things always got too messy.
But both of them were just so… good. And you had this opportunity to have both of them.
How were you supposed to hold yourself back? 
。°。°。°。°。°
“No fucking way.” Steve said exasperatedly, shaking his head and denying what Eddie told him for the hundredth time. 
Eddie groaned, growing frustrated, “Yes fucking way, dude, ask her!” 
“Ask her what, whether you fucked her or not?” Steve narrowed his gaze when he turned to him, words laced with bitterness, if Eddie didn't know him better he'd say Steve was jealous. 
And he was.
“Yeah, because I did, and she fucking loved it.” 
“Bullshit.” Steve spat, his face still wearing a shocked look that had Eddie grinning. 
His mind was almost spiraling, that insecurity he felt years ago almost returning and the image was quick to shatter. Why didn’t you want him? Why did you want Eddie? 
“C’mon, Stevie,” He elbowed Steve playfully, enjoying this. Steve gloated for days about you, for days. And now he had something bigger to tease him with.
Because you, who rejected every idiotic boy in this town, who even rejected 'King Steve' begged for Eddie. And he couldn't help but bask in that, especially to annoy Steve further. “Don’t be jealous, I thought you said we could share.” Eddie grinned like an idiot, brushing his shoulder against his teasingly.
And it was getting to Steve, the idea that you didn’t want him. Like you could see right through his King Steve bullshit. “Fuck you, man.” 
“So, what? You can have her, but I can’t?” He said with a little bitterness spilling out, eyeing Steve. 
“No, dude, just—” Steve sighed, “I can’t fucking get my mind off of her.” He mumbled, almost embarrassed.
“Neither can I!”
“So what the fuck are we supposed to do now?” Desperate, pathetic, and horny. Ironically, that’s how you were feeling too, without knowing that’s exactly what the boys were feeling too. 
“Don’t worry, I’ve got that covered.” Steve looked at Eddie with a narrowed gaze.
“She’s coming to the show tonight,” Eddie hummed excitedly, “and she asked me to invite you too.”
Holy shit. That brought a saccharine smile on Steve’s face, it was stupid, to be so excited over something like this. But that meant you did want him. Stirring his stomach in the best and worst way possible, he wanted to shake it off, but he fucking couldn’t.
Jesus fucking Christ. What were you doing to him?
“Dude, do you realize what that means?” 
“What?” Eddie inquired. 
“Oh my sweet, sweet, Munson…” Steve tssked, “She wants both of us.”
“Oh, shit.” The realization was slow to hit Eddie, his mind still replaying what happened with you over and over again. “Wait you— uh, you’re okay with that?” Eddie asked, almost nervous. 
“Yeah, dude, why wouldn’t I be?” Steve shrugged carelessly, it wasn’t anything they hadn’t done before, but Eddie still felt nervous, because this time it did feel different, with both of you. 
“Besides we can’t keep our girl depraved now, can we?” 
2K notes · View notes
balletfilmss · 2 months
Note
hiii can i get a smau percy x daughter of persephone who loves flowers and lives on a farm
FLOWER POWER!
✸ pairing: percy jackson x daughter of persephone!reader smau
✸ notes: tysm for requesting & im sorry this took a hot minute, but i hope you like it!! 🤍
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…now playing: love grows (where my rosemary goes) — edison lighthouse
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persea_: i’ve officially made friends with the ferns 🫡(thank you yn for not letting them eat me)
tagged: @flowersforyn
view all comments
g_man: are you…are you AWARE of how ferns work?
╰┈➤ persea_: yeah i am. 2 words: chomp chomp
chqsingannabeth: who’s…who’s truck did you steal?
╰┈➤ persea_: what’re you a cop?
flowersforyn: guys don’t be fooled by the second pic, this was the aftermath of him DROPPING me
╰┈➤ persea_: one, didn’t have to expose me like that & two, I SAID I WAS SORRY
╰┈➤ flowersforyn: SORRY ISNT ENOUGH, MY ASS STILL HURTS
╰┈➤ persea_: i bet it does 😗😉
╰┈➤ g_man: reminder that this is a PUBLIC app
ghostking: pls don’t break her
╰┈➤ persea_: did…did u just say PLEASE?
╰┈➤ ghostking: i take it back. break her and i break your neck.
team.leo: why she violating a tree like that
╰┈➤ flowersforyn: leo just bc you didn’t get hugged as a kid doesn’t mean nobody else did 😒
╰┈➤ notpipermclean: OH SHE ATE YOU TF UP WITH THAT ONE. GAGGED
tysonn: ask yn if ferns will be my friend too
╰┈➤ flowersforyn: they absolutely will tyson, we’ll have to bring you out to the farm next weekend <3
╰┈➤ tysonn: yay!
╰┈➤ persea_: me too, right?
╰┈➤ flowersforyn: …
╰┈➤ persea_: RIGHT??
notpipermclean: yn get this loser off our farm, the kids are asking questions
╰┈➤ persea_: PIPER STOP HITTING ON MY GF AND SPREADING FALSE INFORMATION
╰┈➤ notpipermclean: NO🤗 im gonna report you for hate speech
╰┈➤ persea_: mf YOU’RE hate speeching ME
╰┈➤ sp4rky: @ team.leo the girls are fighting 👀
╰┈➤ team.leo: 🍿🫢
…now playing: strawberries & cigarettes — troye sivan
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flowersforyn: fav boy on the farm!! 🍓
tagged: persea_
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chqsingannabeth: your face being cut off of that first pic is CRIMINAL 😩 not percy’s tho, that was a gift from the gods
╰┈➤ flowersforyn: im srry babe, i looked goofy 😔
╰┈➤ chqsingannabeth: oh no ma’am, you could NEVER
╰┈➤ persea_: WE GONNA IFNORE THE COMMENT SBT ME HELLO?!
persea_: the best day with my absolute best girl 🩵
╰┈➤ flowersforyn: kicking my feet & giggling, ILY SEAWEED BRAIN 🤍
╰┈➤ persea_: ILY TOO FLOWER POWER
g_man: WHAT did you do to make those strawberries look so scrumdidliuptious?
╰┈➤ persea_: dyslexia just took me OUT with this one dude 😭
╰┈➤ g_man: nobody was talking to you brotha 🙏
╰┈➤ flowersforyn: grover bud i use my mommy’s magic, hope this helps 🫶
persea_: don’t let her lie to you, people. i thought my first fit was BOMB & then she made me put on that sweater cuz it was cold as hell outside
╰┈➤ flowersforyn: i want you to read that again…slowly
notpipermclean: save me yn the garden princess …save me
╰┈➤ flowersforyn: have no fear bae, im here 🫂
╰┈➤ persea_: yn, babydoll, i beg of you, PLEASE stop hitting on people that aren’t me
╰┈➤ flowersforyn: there’s enough of me to go around perce 😒
╰┈➤ notpipermclean: YEAH PERCY SHARE
sp4rky: why is bro carryin a whole bakery on that swing
╰┈➤ persea_: jason…🤭
╰┈➤ flowersforyn: NAW IF I CANT DO IT YOU CANT DO IT, JASON GET TF OUTTA MY COMMENT SECTION OR ELSE
╰┈➤ sp4rky: I PLEAD THE FIFTH
flowersforyn uploaded a story!
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@ g_man replied:
why is bro so silly 😭
idk but he’s the silliest
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@ sp4rky replied:
tell him to leave the flying to me
i’m not telling him SHIT from you
RAHH
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@ persea_ replied:
idk what ur on about, i look terrifying here
oh yeah, i’m shaking in my boots
great, now can you pls come help me get down?
idk…
YN PLEASE
yknow, i can’t kiss you from up here
i’m otw 🏃‍♀️ 💨
369 notes · View notes
formulafics · 8 months
Text
★ ALL THE RUMORS ARE TRUE | DR3
Scenario: in which ferrari’s favorite girl has thing for redbull’s favorite aussie, and has no shame in it. — a social media au
Pairing: daniel ricciardo x reader
A/N: Here is the second and last part to this fic! I hope you enjoy, and i’m sorry that I had to split the posts but i’ve tried tumblr on a computer and I just can’t get used to it. Also, this is my first time making the fake tweets so please ignore the little mistakes 😭
PART ONE | PART TWO -> Keep Reading
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yn_ferrari
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liked by danielricciardo, charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1, redbullracing, georgerussel63, and 457,389 others
yn_ferrari While I don’t normally post about other drivers victories, I wanted to congratulate @/danielricciardo today! An absolutely epic win, and most definitely deserved one. So proud of you. Ily ❤️
danielricciardo Thank you so much, yn. It’s an honor to be on the same track as you. Ily more!
norrisnation what does this mean? daniel-yn confirmed?
⤷ f1obssessed i mean…between her tweet, this post, and daniel’s response, i’d say it’s obvious
liked by yn_ferrari
⤷ mv1defender i need y’all to be fr. she’s literally just congratulating him on a win and y’all have your panties in a twist
⤷ levelupleclerc the only other person she’s congratulated like this was charles, and we know they’re close so i’d say, based off of the other stuff, this is just another sign that she and daniel are more than friends
charles_leclerc sad to see that i’m not the only driver you congratulated anymore
⤷ yn_ferrari you may not be the only one, but you were the first one 😌
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yn_ferrari
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liked by danielricciardo, lando.jpg, charles_leclerc, georgerussel63, logansargeant, and 657,351 more
yn_ferrari Happy one year to my most favorite human! I love you more than anything. I cant believe I managed to keep my mouth shut this whole time, but i’m so glad that I get to make posts like these now. Many more to come, and many more years with you, honey.
danielricciardo Who’s cutting onions in the redbull meeting room? I love you so much, baby.
⤷ dannyricworld IM GONNA SOB this is so sweet
landonorris A year of being a third wheel. Can’t believe I made it. Congratulations to you both ❤️
liked by charles_leclerc and maxverstappen1
formulaoneacc idk about you guys, but they are my parents
ynswife A YEAR? A YEAR? AND WE ONLY GENUINELY STARTED THINK YOU GUYS WERE TOGETHER A FEW WEEKS AGO?
⤷ gpierre10 idk who “we” is, but i’ve been calling this since october last year
⤷ levelupleclerc LITERALLY. i’ve been rooting for them since the beginning
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1K notes · View notes
fairysluna · 11 months
Note
May i please request prompt 46 for jace? After their first time maybe and she'd want to do it again :)
hi, love!! im so sorry it took me so long to fulfill your request but it's finally heeere. I did it sliiighty different, but i still hope it is to your liking. thank you for your request and pls enjoy!! ily🤍✨
NON PROOF READ
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The eye contact was killing you, your thighs laying on top of his as he brushed his fingertips in your soft skin. Nothing but your thin nightgown was covering your nudity as he hungrily stared at your body. You were nervous; hands shaking, sighing breathlessly as your heart beated faster with anticipation. His brown eyes were digging holes in your skin with that longing they reflected, yearning to finally have a taste of you, and begging for you to nod and give him the green light he so desperately wanted.
Your hands were on top of your mound, holding the piece of fabric in its place so you can be covered and feel less exposed. You knew this was going to be embarrassing for you, having him kiss such a private part of you felt wrong and sinful… and some part of your mind was scolding you for merely considering it.
As his touches reached your hips under the gown, your cheeks felt warm and your mouth agape. Jacaerys smiled softly at you, giving you that feeling of comfort that you needed at that moment.
"I will stop if you don't want it," he whispered, tracing invisible circles on your skin. "Do you want it?"
You bit your lip thinking in your answer as you slowly released the pressure you were putting on the part of the gown that was covering that intimate part of you. Jace smiled softly, expectantly looking for an answer behind your pretty eyes. You wanted to please him, be a good maiden and please your prince; and, as Jace said, you may as well enjoy it as much as him; the only thing you needed to do was to open your legs to him.
So without saying a word, that is what you did. The gown was lifted by innerce, leaving your core exposed to the hungry eyes of the man that was ready to devour you. You closed your eyes as an instinct, not liking the feeling of vulnerability you were experiencing with this. However, you heard a soft moan leaving your lover's lips and that was enough to make you feel a bit more comfortable in your position.
Your body yelped when you felt the pad of his thumb softly rubbing your pearl, it was a teasing touch that almost made your legs shake. It was merely nothing but a taste of what was about to come for you. It felt weird to be touched like this, but it did not feel bad at all either.
Your eyes opened at the exact same moment that he took his thumb inside his mouth and licked it as he groaned. His eyes closed for longer than a second before he decided he could not wait any longer. Jace shifted his position on the bed, now with his head right on top of your heated core. You looked at him as he looked up at you with a grin that made you sigh; so devilishly handsome he was.
He started to kiss your inner thighs, leaving gentle bites and licking the spot afterwards. His fingers started to brush against your folds with the cruel intention to tease you. You forced yourself to bite back a moan that threatened to escape, already getting soaked over small touches.
"You need to promise me," he started, speaking between kisses, "that if you feel uncomfortable, you will make me stop."
You nodded, but that was not enough of an answer for him. He wanted to hear you.
"Say it," he commanded.
"I promise," you breathlessly reply, for he never stopped moving his fingers on you.
Next thing you knew, Jace's nose started to rub against your swollen lips, breathing you in as if he was torturing himself before having the taste of you he craved. You started to get inpatient too, but you were too shy at that moment to even dare to say a word. The only thing you did was to put your right hand on his thick, brown curls, and wait.
"You're so perfect, my love," he whined, almost muttering on the low as he kept teasing you shamelessly. "Thank you for letting me do this. Thank you, thank you, thank you-"
His words were interrupted by his own whimper as he sank himself in you. His tongue did not waste any time and soon was lapping your folds and sloppily moving all over your warmth. Your back immediately arched at the same time your thighs closed around his head and moans left your mouth. Your eyes widened, experiencing this new and pleasuring sensation that was way better that you expected.
Suddenly all the nervousness in your chest was replaced by the lust inside your lower belly which made your mind go blank and only think about him and the immense pleasure he was making you feel. You could feel his tongue wondering all over you, making obscene sounds that only made the heat between your legs grow with each passing second.
It seemed that not only you felt pleasure in these actions, for Jace was desperately gasping and whining as he devoured you like a starving man. He would flick his tongue on your nub to then lick the whole way down until finding your entrance and tease it with it as his nose rubs against your pearl. It was mind-blowing, almost making you desperate for more.
Whenever you would lift your hips as an involuntary movement, he would press them back against the mattress in order to keep you in your place. It still, however, managed to be messy enough thanks to his own despair to taste your release. The man was aching for it, hard and leaking already; the only solution to this, was to start humping the mattress beneath his body as he attended to your necessities first.
Soon you turned into a moaning mess, throwing curses and praises at the air while your hands would pull his hair unconsciously; an action that seemed to have caused something in him, since his moans became slightly louder each time you would tangle your fingers with his dark brown locks, sending vibrations to your core that only multiplied the pleasure you were feeling.
His name was all your lips would say, begging to not stop as you were now close to reach your peak. His slurping noises echoing in the room as his hot breath reached your heated folds and made you shiver, leading you to that sweet moment you both were expecting for so long.
A wave of warmth hit your body as you whined loud enough for the hallway to hear. Your back arched as your eyes clenched closed and your hands tried to push him away from you. Jacaerys, however, kept licking your slick, now collecting your release in his tongue and drinking from it as he let out a loud groan. Your legs were shaking at each side of his head, your breathing trembling as some tears of pleasure fell down the side of your eyes.
Once he felt satisfied, he sat back, staring down at the mess he made out of you and tracing a path with his eyes down to your cunt; his thumb reached for a small touch before he leaned towards you and kissed you slowly but passionately. You were in awe with what had just happened, still feeling numb to think about anything else.
"You taste so delicious, my love," he praised as he started kissing your cheeks, your chin, your neck. "Thank you for letting me do this," he repeated again.
"It- it felt good," you confessed, your voice being unsteady and shivering.
"Did it?" Jace teased, smiling as his lips reached for your ear.
"Yes," you sighed. There was a small pause, where he leaned back a few inches just to see your face with your glistening eyes. He had this infatuated look on his face that made you feel butterflies each time you looked at him. A small smile from him was all you needed to ask, "would you- would you like to do it again?"
Jacaerys smile widened, showing a rose color on his pale cheeks as he softly laughed. He pecked your lips and then he nodded.
"Yes, please…" he replied, excitedly.
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BOLD MEANS I COULDN'T TAG YOU
GENERAL TAG LIST — @borikenlove @jvpit3rs @watercolorskyy @kravitzwhore @valeskafics @clairacassidy @aemondx @randomdragonfires @theminesofmoria @gothtargaryen @melsunshine @urmomsgirlfriend1 @jamespotterismydaddy @padfooteyes
JACE TAG LIST — @ganymede-princess
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THE LOVE LASTS SO LONG (9)
In which Aubrey gets interviewed...
series masterlist
ellemagazine posted
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ellemagazine Our June edition features Aubrey Yang on her directing debut, the trajectory of her career and new friends in Formula One. Full article linked in bio.
tagged: aubreyyang
liked by formula1, olliebearman, mckennagraceful and 80,944 others
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user1 ON MY HANDS AND KNEES BARK BARK SHES SO FINE
aubreyyang thank you for having me Elle! always a blast 💋
-- aubberieloverss MOTHERRR
dior.n.goodjohn ILY UR SO BEAUTIFUL AND ETHERAL
-- aubreyyang stawpp ur making me blush
formula1 thank you for the shout out! hope to see you in the Ferrari paddocks soon 🏎️
liked by aubreyyang
-- f1wagsupdates BAHAHA f1 admin ur brave for that one
lilymhe prettiest girl
-- aubreyyang me and dior miss u tons! can't wait to see u soon
mvertsppdudu can ollie fight ill catch him in the paddocks
ELLE MAGAZINE
NEW ISSUE
INTERVIEW WITH AUBREY YANG
Aubrey Yang, the multi-faceted actress debuts her talent and grit for directing and screenwriting in her short film Pelt, winning the Best Screenplay and a notable nominee for the Best Film during London Film week. Since we've last seen her at Elle New York, she has turned 18, nearing 19 now, and made some drastic changes to her life.
Since her film, Yang has not been in any other production as talent, but teases us with a new project "that's coming soon, don't worry". She adores her new found love for being a creative, and is scouting to get her hands on more projects in Hollywood on that side of the camera.
Her studies continue at New York University and she is set to graduate early, next year. When asked about her ability to balance school and work, she smiles knowingly and tells us that "it's important to take breaks, but more importantly, I've chosen things I love to do".
During these breaks, Yang is often seen with fellow young actress Dior Goodjohn and international pop sensation Olivia Rodrigo. But 18 has brought a new hobby: Formula One.
"I met Lily [Muni He] and Alex [Albon] at a gala, and we hit it off. They're like my parents" she answers adoringly. She has been seen multiple times in both the Williams and Ferrari garages visiting with fans and learning about the mechanics of racing.
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"I've met some wonderful people; I never really got to be a regular teenager because I was working and going to university early. They've really helped teach me about having fun and letting loose."
Next year when we inevitably feature her lovely face again, we'll see the new changes to her life.
MESSAGES
ollie
I read ur article it was great
sad I didn't get a shout out tho :(
aubrey
sorry boo
PROMISE TO GIVE YOU ONE NEXT YEARR
ollie
okay :)
anyways r we still on for the trip?
aubrey
yes mr. bearman
ollie
I was thinking Charles and Alex might want to go w us
aubrey
YESSS MY FAV MONAGESQUES
ollie
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gotta go but talk later? ☺️
aubrey
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kk cya bearman
ollie
bye yang :)
MESSAGES
alex 🖼️
cou cou chérie!
(hey dear)
aubrey 🎬
AHH ALEX J'avais l'intention de t'envoyer un texto ! On part en voyage en Europe ?
(I was meaning to text you, are we on for the Europe trip?)
alex 🖼️
yes but I have smth to ask
aubrey 🎬
um not the English what's wrong
alex 🖼️
DO U LIKE OLLIE
aubrey 🎬
UM BYE WHY
alex 🖼️
bc I have to watch him text u and its dégoûtant
(disgusting)
aubrey 🎬
bro idk
dior thinks we like each other
its just hes becoming such a good friend
he makes me smile
and hes so sweet and kind and gentle
hes not like any other guy ik
alex 🖼️
its going to be such a long trip 😔
aubreyyang posted on their story
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olliebearman replied to your story
cute 😊
aubreyyang
ikr shes my cousins baby
olliebearman
oh
very cute
wanna play 9 ball on message
aubreyyang
YOURE ON
bearyfast_04 posted
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bearyfast_04 I think im ready to be a father
liked by alexandrasaintmleux, leosdad and 10 others
leosdad fatherhood is hard
-- landoakabob u have a dog
-- leosdad u take that back hes my son
pastryboy SIR U ARE 21 WDYM CHILDREN
-- bearyfast_04 but look at her 🥰
-- arthuranddw another fallen soldier
______________________________________________________________
Taglist: @callsignwidow @iloveyou3000morgan @honethatty12 @taygrls
© sweetteainthesummerx.tumblr. all rights reserved. unauthorized copying, translation, or claiming of my writing or any works as your own is strictly prohibited.
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You are quickly becoming my favorite person on this app!! 💖💖 your text posts are so good and filling my delusions lol
I was wondering if you could write something with innie and a Nonna reader? One of them could actually confess and be insecure about them being different ages ( her too old for him/ him to young) but happy ending with reassurance??? Thank you in advance ily 🫶🏻
tysm 😭 i wonder if im still one of your favorites, considering how long you waited for this post. i’m so sorry. i hope you like it. i find it harder to write jeongin but i tried my best.
thank you for being so kind in your ask, it made me happy. 🩷
masterlist
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🚨reminder: even though this post is PG, this blog is 18+ only. i’ve been getting a lot of new followers (which i greatly appreciate) but if there’s no age identifier on your blog, i’m blocking you no questions asked. (for my own sanity and peace of mind.) ik some people don’t actually go to my page to read the warnings, so im going to start attaching a warning at the bottom of all my posts. thanks for understanding. 💕
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goldenbuckyyy · 2 years
Text
HOLD ON
Summary: The aftermath of Harry finding you.
Pairings: Harry Styles x fem!Reader (cheating together) Main characters x original characters.
Word Count: 4.1kish
Warnings: Cheating (Harry and Reader together), mentions of DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AGAINST PARTNER, mentions of blood, bruising, and cuts.
A/N: IM BACK!! I am so so sorry it’s take me over a month to post this part! I can’t even believe it’s been that long. I got into a bad writing funk after my last post and spend the last two weeks just reading and not even writing truthfully. But, thank you everyone for your patience. I hope you all enjoy. REMEMBER TO READ THE FIRST TWO PARTS!! Song inspo: “Hold On” by Chord Overstreet. 
Um, I’ve also reached 1.2k of you lovely people following me. 🥹 ily all. Thank you!!
All my mistakes are my own. Please do not repost or translate my fics on any other site nor this one.
I appreciate any likes, reblogs, messages, and interactions. Please message me your thoughts!!! It fuels me!
Series Masterlist || Masterlist
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Harry doesn’t think he’s ever felt more afraid. 
He’s been afraid plenty of times in his life. More than he can count. He’s not ashamed to admit it. 
He’s not ashamed to admit he’s felt fear before. 
Off the top of his head, he was afraid for his judges response on the x factor stage, he was afraid for what was going to happen after they had lost, he was afraid when they went on hiatus, he was afraid when he went solo, he was afraid before he put out his first album, his second album, and most recently his third. He was afraid of many things. 
But you were there for every single one. 
And you calmed him down. You were his rock. His grounding statue when he most needed it. 
Every single time he had been afraid in the past, you were his voice of reason, and it didn’t matter who was his partner at the time. 
He knew you were going to be his wife one day. 
He just knew it. 
He was just too stupid to think you guys could ever be with anybody else. But you were happy with Asher and he was happy with Vivian. 
Or he let himself believe he was happy with her. 
Because you were happy. 
But at the end of the day, when he laid in bed and held her. Smelling her expensive shampoo in her hair when they cuddled…
It always reminded him she wasn’t you. 
But he toughed it out. Because you were happy. He loved seeing you happy. He could handle settling for second best if he still had you in his life and thankfully that was never an issue between you two. 
Now, Harry feels like a complete fucking idiot. 
Because if he had only made you his wife like he had wanted too, you wouldn’t be in this situation right now. 
He wouldn’t be going over the speed limit in the London streets if he had. He wouldn’t be holding back his tears as he thinks of what you had just told him on the phone. 
But who’s he kidding? 
His eyes were full of tears, threatening to fall down his cheeks, swerving through cars, not caring if he got stopped right now, knowing he wouldn’t pull over, and his entire body was shaking. 
His hands were gripping onto the steering wheel. So hard that it was almost painful, one hand was maneuvering the steering wheel, while his other hand was gripping onto his cross necklace on his chest. The same necklace that you had gifted him years ago. 
You had told him you saw it at a jewelers shop one day and decided to get a matching pair. He’s worn it ever since. 
His eyes dash to his cell phone that’s on the console, your name taunting him on the screen, and he keeps the call connected. Just in case you woke up. 
Once Harry turned into your secluded street, his tires screeching at his fast movement, but he stepped on the gas pedal to go faster. 
His heart was racing as he pulled into your stone driveway. He quickly parked his SUV, taking notice that only your car was in the driveway, and he felt his body fill with nerves as to what was going to await him inside. 
With shaky hands and stumbling feet, he ran towards your front door. He instantly stilled at the front door, gulping down the lump in his throat as he reached for the handle, and pushed the door wide open. It was unlocked. 
The house was earily quiet and it made his skin break out into goosebumps. Harry’s body was shaking in fear of seeing you, he quickened his pace, running down your long entrance hallway, and not knowing entirely where you were, he shouted your name. 
Peering into the open rooms, trying to see if you were in the first opening of the living room, and he was getting anxious when he didn’t see you. 
He ran down towards the second opening of the hallway which was your kitchen and instantly his feet skidded to a halt. His feet screeching against your marbled floor. 
Harry gasped loudly at the scene in front of him, a wrenching surprising sob wrecked through his body as his eyes scanned the kitchen layout, and he felt pale. 
It looked like a bloody crime scene here. 
Bright red liquid splattered over the white marble floors and cabinets. He could see it all over on the countertops, against the wall, and on the kitchen stove. Glass was everywhere that his eyes could see. 
And then he saw you. 
Another loud uncontrollable sob wrecked through his body as he ran towards you, falling down to the floor next to your unconscious body, not caring about the glass breaking his skin, his hands immediately reaching for you, pulling you into his body, and he tried to shake you awake. 
Rapid tears fall down his cheeks immediately, his entire body is shaking with his sobs, his vision is cloudy, and he pulls you into his lap. He wraps one of his arms around your body and uses his free hand to move your hair away from your face. 
He keeps repeating sun and baby over and over again. Hoping you’d hear him somehow. Hoping you’d open your pretty eyes for him. 
His eyes take in your bloody nose, busted lip, your favorite lavender sweater is coated with blood in different spots, and same as your apron. He notices your limp hands have glass in different places, your leggings are black but he can see different areas with small shards of glass on them. And your feet. Your poor blue fuzzy socks are drenched in red. He’s not sure if it’s wine or blood. 
His eyes move back to your face and he stills when he sees the hand marks on your neck. The fresh ugly bruises that are showing up. He looks up into the air, releasing a shaky breath, gritting his teeth as tears flow down his face, and he curses underneath his breath. 
Harry is physically shaking with anger and guilt. He’s so upset at what Asher did to you. He feels like he can kill him, but he shoves that feeling away and focuses on you. 
He doesn’t care that he’s getting himself covered in wine and blood right now. His free hand has specs of your blood on it now, but he keeps wiping away the hair and blood from your face. 
Repeating “baby” to your face and kissing your face to wake you up. The metallic taste on his tongue makes him whimper. 
“Hold on, baby. Just hold on.”
His voice is shaky, weak, and desperate.
So fucking desperate. 
He doesn’t know what to do. You’re not reacting to anything he does, but thankfully you’re breathing. He has no idea what Asher did to you, but whatever he did. He’s going to pay for what he did. 
Harry notices your phone next to you. He takes a shaky breath in and wraps his arms around you to pick you up. He reaches for your phone as he lifts you, tucks your limp body into his arms, sniffs hard to try and hold in the rest of his tears, and hastily makes his way towards his SUV. 
He manages to open his back door and gently sets you down on the seats. He kisses your forehead with shaky lips and whispers, “It’s going to be okay. I-I’m here, sun.” 
He drives towards the nearest hospital and prays to god that he hasn’t been followed by paps. 
The entire drive to the hospital is rapid with his eyes constantly moving to the rear view mirror to look at you. To make sure you’re still there. To make sure you’re breathing. 
Harry doesn’t hesitate to park in the “no parking” zone at the emergency entrance, he immediately starts honking to try and catch someone’s attention from inside. He sees a security guard immediately come toward him and Harry knows he must look crazy. 
He jumps out of his driver seat, reaching for the back door to pull it open. 
“I need you to get me some help!” The security officer is trying to flag someone from the inside to come and help him. 
The officer looks at him in confusion, “Are you hurt, sir?” The office raises his eyebrows at his appearance. 
Harry shakes his head, quickly pulling you into him once more, he hitches you up in his arms, and starts walking towards the entrance. 
“It’s for her,” he says as he continues to walk into the ER entrance and immediately he can feel all eyes on him. 
He ignores the stares, yells at the officer to help him, and starts feeling anxious. And he follows the officer when he opens a back door that leads him to where he assumes all the nurses and doctors are. 
He can see different people running around, helping patients, and it’s incredibly loud. Loud beeping noises and chatter fills his ears. His mouth feels dry and he feels sick. 
He looks at you in his arms, a soft whimper escapes his lips, and the officer brings him towards a ground of huddles nurses that are chatting about something. 
One of them is smiling at another nurse and when her blue eyes met Harry’s, she instantly stops, mouth drops, and Harry can see her lips whisper his name in shock. 
But then she suddenly reacts and rushes towards him. 
“Are you okay? What happened?” She asks, her hands immediately reaching out to touch you, and Harry’s reflex is to curl you into his arms. Away from her touch. He’s terrified to let anybody touch you, but he knows you need it. 
“I…” Harry starts, throat raspy, and he holds eye contact with the nurse, “I need your utmost discretion,” he states in a plea, but tries to keep his voice steady. 
Harry sees from the corner of his eyes more nurses rushing towards him and one of them is holding a stretcher. 
A male nurse tries to reach for you as well, but the nurse in front of you- Harry quickly reads her name tag- Lily. 
Lily holds her hand up to stop the male nurse and she then sets her hand on Harry’s forearm, giving him a squeeze, her eyes not leaving his, and she says, “I promise you. We will be discreet.” 
Harry nods, tears welling up in his eyes, and his hands are gripping onto your skin. 
“But… you need to put her down on the stretcher.. so we can help her. Okay? Can you do that, sir?“ 
Lily moves her body to angle the stretcher and Harry quickly nods. He walks towards the stretcher, he gently sets you down, and squeezes your hands in his quickly. His shaking fingers move the sticky hair out of your face as you fall limp into the stretcher. He steps back. 
Harry stands there, frozen in his spot, and watches them rush you away to an empty room. 
“I’ll take you to a private room where you can wait for the doctor. Or myself for an update, okay?” 
Harry nods as he follows her down a hallway, he starts messing with the skin around his fingernails, and Lily opens the door to a private room. 
“You can wait here. Somebody will come speak to you soon about what happened, okay? Do you need any medical attention yourself?” Her voice is steady and calm. It’s what Harry needs right now. Her eyes look him up and down for any injuries. 
“I’m okay, maybe… maybe just a wet rag, please.” Harry says, dry tears on his cheeks making his face feel stiff, and he keeps eye contact with Lily. 
“Okay,” she says. She’s standing by the door, gives him a small smile, and then reaches out for Harry’s arm. She squeezes him.
“It's going to be okay, Mr. Styles. We got her now.” Her eyes are sincere and Harry’s face crumbles in anguish. 
“Thank you,” he croaks out, covering his face, and turning away from her view. 
He hears the door shut behind him and the only thing he can hear in the room is his soft cries. 
•••
Harry must have fallen asleep after he had gotten himself cleaned up because he almost jumps out of the chair he was slumped into when he feels someone touch his shoulder. 
“Sir! I’m so sorry!” He hears someone exclaim above him. He adjusts himself into the chair, uncrossing his arms, and is confused about his surroundings for just a second before he sees your face in his mind. 
He stands quickly, “How is she?” He quickly runs his hands over his eyes to wake himself up. 
He recognizes the same nurse as earlier, Lily, and she gives him an easy smile. 
“She’s okay right now. A slight brain bleed, but nothing major. Don’t panic. It’ll heal on its own, but we’re going to keep her overnight to monitor it. Thankfully no broken bones. She does have a couple fractured ribs, but…” she trails off, her eyes looking to the side, and she looks nervous. 
“What’s going on?” His body fills with worry instantly. 
“She woke up, Mr. Styles.” 
Relief washes throughout his body and he silently says a thank you. 
“Oh, thank god. That’s good… that’s good, right?” Eyebrows furr when Lily nods, but doesn’t follow Harry’s breath of happiness. For a split second, he feels happy that she's awake and okay. But then Lily is rolling her lips in and biting the bottom one. 
“What’s going on?” Harry asks. His voice shakes. The anticipation of what she’s about to say fills him with dread once more. 
“Mr. Styles, we asked her what happened and she doesn’t remember. She might have a concussion or she might be blocking out the memory because of the trauma. She simply might not want to remember. It’s a way trauma victims protect themselves in these types of scenarios. It’s not uncommon.” 
“O-okay?” 
Lily puts her hand on Harry’s shoulder as if to comfort him for what she’s about to say. Harry feels confused as the comforting touch. He fumbles with the skin around his fingers in anticipation. 
“She states that her boyfriend would never have done this.” 
“W-what? She— wait— she said that?” Harry feels even more confused. He wasn’t imagining the phone call. He distinctly remembers what you had said. 
Lily nods as he continues, “S-she told me. She told me that he hit her. That he—-“ he stops himself from continuing. Gulping down the forming lump in his throat. He bites his tongue because he doesn’t need anybody knowing about his personal business. 
Harry slightly looks up to keep his tears at bay, sniffling slightly, and his eyes start to burn. He looks back down at Lily. 
“He found out about something… something she didn’t want him knowing and that’s when he did that to her. I-I swear.” 
“Mr. Styles, I’m sorry. But… If the patient says that’s not what happened.. then we have to believe the patient.” She almost looks guilty. 
“Even if she doesn’t remember it happening?” Harry asks in desperation, not believing what she’s saying. 
Lily nods with a small frown on her lips. 
“I can take you to see her, if you’d like.” 
Harry immediately nods and follows her down to your room. Lily knocks when they stand in front of the room and when Harry walks in, his lips quiver and his heart feels heavy. 
“Oh, baby.” He whimpers out as he takes in your appearance. He manages to grasp onto the door to ground himself from the way his knees buckle at the sight of you. They’ve cleaned you up, but all the bruising from your face and neck makes him wish it was him in the bed instead of you. 
You're laying down against the hospital bed, covered in a white blanket, with your head tilted back, but it only showcased the ugly, raw, and red marks on your neck. It made Harry internally weep at the sight. You have a machine on your right side connected to your IV and Harry can only imagine its fluids. Or maybe pain medication. He doesn’t dwell on it too long. 
Your arms are laying over the blankets and resting on your stomach. Your hands are delicately covered in white gauze, but only your palms. And he knows it’s because of all the tiny glass cuts you had. 
When his eyes land in your face, he wishes he could erase this picture from his brain. He pleads to the gods above that this is the last time he will ever see you hurt. He doesn’t think he can survive seeing you like this again. 
Your bottom lip has a big cut on it which is making your lip a little swollen. Your entire right cheek is bright red with undertones of purples and you have one big bruise forming on your left cheekbone. Your nose has a small splint on it, but he can see the swelling underneath and the bruising on the sides. 
Harry doesn’t even want to think about what you went through. 
It’s almost as if you felt his presence because you slowly tilt your head down and your eyes search the room. When you meet his gaze, your entire body relaxes with relief and his name falls out of your lips like butter. 
Harry is immediately at your side, wanting to hold you and touch you, but he stops himself.  He hesitates in front of you and your covered hand reaches for him. His hand immediately covers yours, warm with gauze but cold fingers, and he starts crying. 
“I-I,” Harry tries to form words, but his voice is muffled because of his sobs. He falls into the chair next to you and covers his face with his arms on top of the bed. 
Your hand is immediately intertwined with his curls and you're rubbing his scalp to try to calm him down. 
“They told me you found me?” You question and he cries harder at your voice. It’s raspy and hoarse. You don’t sound like yourself, you sound like you’re in pain, and he knows you are. It makes him cry even harder. 
Harry can only nod at your question. He lifts his head to look at you and you try to give him a small smile. He’s looking into your eyes, your beautiful eyes, and he sniffles. 
He ghosts one of his hands over your face and you almost want to melt into it, but you don’t. Because you know how bad you look and how every single part of your body hurts right now. 
Instead, you grab his hand in yours once again. 
“I’m okay,” you whisper with tears in your own eyes as you watch his red eyes. His green eyes are bright against the red, his nose is red too, cheeks are flushed, lips bright pink, and he looks beautiful. 
“Do you remember anything?” Harry asks between his sniffles. 
You roll your lips inside your mouth for a second and bite down on your unaffected side, eyebrows furred down, and you shake your head. 
“I… I don’t. I’m… I’m assuming someone broke in? Maybe someone tried to steal from me and did this?” Your voice sounds as if you’re trying to convince yourself this is what happened. Instead of the reality that Harry knows about. 
“Baby,” Harry whimpers out. “You called me… and told me Asher had found out about us.” 
“Asher?” You question in a low tone, feeling confused once again. 
“You… you said he hit you.” Harry gulps down the lump in his throat after he speaks those words and takes in your reaction. 
Your eyes almost bulge out of your head. Frowning, you exclaim, “Hit me?! Asher would never, Harry.” 
Suddenly, you’re pulling your hand out of his hold and Harry feels like you’re retracting from him. 
“Baby, I wouldn’t lie—-“ 
“Stop it!” You cut him off, crossing your arms over your chest, ignoring the sharp pain that runs through your body as you touch your aching ribs. 
His eyes dart to your stomach and back to you. 
“Are you—“ 
“Stop.” You spat at him, feeling furious at him for even suggesting that Asher would do this to you. Asher would never do this. Never. 
“Asher would never do this to me, Harry. Are you—- what are you— are you lying to me? Is this a joke? Is this some sick fucking joke? Maybe I did this to myself!! I’m fucking clumsy. I’m sure I just fell on my own. Maybe I dropped the wine bottle myself and tripped and hurt myself!” You cry out to him as fast tears start running down your cheeks. Your mouth speaks faster than your own brain. Spilling anything that would make more sense than what Harry is telling you. 
“Baby. Baby. Baby.. what are you.. what are you saying? Baby, stop. He caused your head to bleed. He caused you a brain bleed, baby. You.. you didn’t do this to yourself. How could.. how could you have done this to yourself?” Harry cries as he stumbles over his words quickly at you. 
“Asher didn’t do this to me,” you state confidently even though you feel confused about the whole thing. “Why would he do this to me, H?” More tears filling your eyes at Harry’s accusations. 
Asher didn’t do this to you. He couldn’t have. Could he? 
“He did this to you! He hit you!” His voice goes higher as his frustrations rise, his lips in a frown. 
“You’re lying!! Stop lying to me. Why would Asher do this to me, Harry?! He loves me. And I know you love me. You’re my best fucking friend, but you’re crossing a line. He would never do this to me. You need to leave. You’re lying to me. I don’t want you here.” 
“W-what?” Harry’s gaping at you, mouth dropped in shock, and a sob escapes his lips once more. 
“Go. Now! I don’t want to look at you!” You turn away from him, sniffling, and wiping your tears away. 
“You can’t be serious, Y/N. Listen to yourself,” he tries to plead with you as he tries to reach for your hand, but you turn your body to move. Ignoring the pain it causes you. You don’t look at him. 
“Leave,” you demand once more. Ignoring his cries and his words. 
“O-okay, baby. I’m going to leave. But… but… please. Please try to remember my love. Please,” he begs you. 
You don’t say anything. You just stare out the window until you hear him get up and leave. You sit in silence for a couple minutes. Trying to think about everything he said. You wipe away your tears and reach for the call light to call for your nurse. 
You press the red button and adjust yourself to relax against the mattress, trying to inhale a deep breath, and Lily comes into the room. 
“Hi, love. Did you call? Need some help?” 
“Yes, Lily. I did. Harry gave you my phone, right?” 
“He did.”
“Okay,” you make eye contact with her. “Can you please call the person under the name of Asher? Can you let him know what’s happened and where I am? The code is 0509.”
A look of uncertainty flashes over Lily’s face, but she quickly controls her reaction. You don’t question it because she nods quickly right after. 
“Of course, Mrs. Y/L/N.” She smiles at you, “I’ll be right back.” 
Lily leaves the room and you close your eyes for a second. 
You try to unclear your mind, trying to remember what happened, and flashes of what happened play out. 
You see the wine bottle falling down onto the floor loudly.
You see yourself crawling into the corner and the feeling of true terror fills your body at the memory. 
You can see yourself begging the person to stop, but you can’t see their face. 
Your face crumbles in frustration at not being able to remember the one most important detail. 
You sigh, opening your eyes, and you decide to wait for Asher to walk through the door. 
Maybe he can help you remember. Maybe he’s spoken to the police and maybe they’ve already found the person who did this. 
But there’s also a part of you wondering why he isn’t here right now. Wouldn’t he have found you after coming home from work? Maybe he had to work late. 
You shake your head at the intrusive thoughts. 
You try to relax once again, trying not to feel bad for kicking Harry out, but you know Asher would have never done this to you. 
He would have never. 
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devourers-of-god · 3 months
Note
Hii :D
for first i wanted to say that i love your blog and the way you describe the characters!
can i request HC of the characters on valentine's day? if you don't want to do it to everyone, it could be just Travis and Sal. i'll let you decide there, take as much time as you want and if you don't want to do it, everything is fine. (i hope i wrote it well, it's a bit difficult for me to write in english)
HIII! thank you so much for the compliments it is very heart warming :( SOrry im late about your request HAHAH I will indeed do Sal and Travis only,,, you know me so well anon ,,, You wrote everything perfectly !! I couldn't have guessed if you didn't tell me :) ILY REQUESTS ARE OPEN PEOPLE! LOOK ALIVE! /ref but plz everyone, read my carrd In my bio before submitting.. its upsetting to see asks that doesn't meet my rules...
SAL AND TRAVIS ON VALENTINES DAY
Type : Headcanons
Warnings: None! Mostly Fluff sorry y'all I don't write nsfw
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SAL
= Sal prepared some things for you by the gentle help of Ashley, because sal didn't know how to please you and Ash is your best friend.
= I think Sal would make you a valentines boo basket like the ones you see on TikTok. Filled with your favourite chocolates and CDS, cute slippers, horror movie blanket, jewelry and some surprises connected to your interests.
= He would come by your apartment/house and wear ''clean clothes'' ( Jeans he washed the night before and his favourite shirt lol), with his nails freshly painted of a beautiful black colour.
= He also brought movies to watch, romantic ones you say? Hell nah this Sal Fisher, he brought horror movies that you would enjoy.
= You were so happy by his gifts that you jumped right into his arms and dragged him into your room, he cuddled and kissed you A BUNCH because boy was he happy his partner liked what he bought them. He filled your entire face with kisses, when Sal started he couldn't stop.
= After all the affection was received, you two were stuck on the couch, under your new blanket, cuddling and watching movies. For the occasion Sal took off his mask, only if no one was there that day, which made you very happy and flustered to see your lover's face after a long day.
TRAVIS (ARGHBHHH EEEK ^0^DNWAODNSNF)
= Travis already struggles with showing affection, it was very hard to warp his mind around celebrating for the first time in his life Valentines day with his boyfriend.
= He also had to ask Ashley because she's your best friend after all, she recommended following his heart and doing something classic to not stress him too much. And that he did!
= My sweet boy put on a suit for you and bought flowers, not just any flowers tho, Travis believe in flower language. Which is that every single flower has a different meaning when given. He carefully chose Daisies (I truly love you), Red Carnation (My heart aches for you), Honey Suckles (Devoted affection) and lastly, Salvia Red (forever mine). Yes he could've chosen classic roses but he felt like you might think that he didn't put in any effort.
= This boy is an hopeless romantic and decided to write you a letter about his true feelings since he was so bad at expressing them in front of you, words couldn't leave his mouth but they were flowing with the help of his fountain pen.
= He then picked up gourmet chocolates, a bit expensive but he thought it would make you happy. Ashley suggested that he makes a mixtape of your favourite songs on a cassette since you had a walkman. He made 2 mixtapes, one of your favourites and the other one is songs that reminds him of you.
= He showed up to your door in the evening and your jaw dropped, seeing your boyfriend in a suit made you feel things you've never felt before. He felt super happy by your reaction and the letter was so profound it made you cry. You also knew flower language and you were basically bawling because of the effort (and money) he spent on you.
OKAY DONE ! you guys can see that I prefer travis over sal oops,,, I hope everyone still loved it! plz plz plz send me things because im desperate.... I love you all guys.......
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justcallmenikki7 · 4 months
Text
Hi, it’s Nikki.
I’m writing this to give you all, the ones who are still here even tho I’ve been basically hiatus for a while now, with some posts here and there. You probably all, also, saw this coming, but I’m sadly done writing.
God, im crying lmao.
Anyways, I realized after constantly trying to write something, outline, everything, I couldn’t write anymore. Maybe it’s because I went through a severe abusive relationship at the beginning of April 2022 to the end of November of 2022, and it completely changed me as a person. I lost a lot of love, likes, whatever you may call it, from that relationship. It changed me, and one of the things it changed in me was my love for writing. My spark isn’t here anymore, and I’ve been trying to hold on for the last possible year and a half for you guys, but it hasn’t happened. I’m afraid of change, I’m afraid of letting go, and have a bad time of accepting the fact that i mayve grown out of a phase, you know? My love for the boys will always be there, always.
What has also caused me lots of stress, and is a sign of losing my spark, has been trying to write and come up with ideas, and creat stories for those who have messaged me privately, and I feel terrible for not being able to do that, and I hate breaking promises/not keeping my word because I wanted to make you guys happy, and I’ve failed those individuals. I’m sorry for not finishing those requests, and I’m sorry that I never actually started them because I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to make you happy, but I couldn’t get anything out and so I sat for the longest time, trying to get a good paragraph, or in a general a sentence out, but i couldn’t and I didn’t.
And I’ve sadly relapsed the other night after almost 2 years of being clean from s/h. My depression has been in the dumps, and even tho I have so many positives going on in my life and such amazing people, and an amazing partner, my mental health is deteriorating and I need to focus on myself.
I know I’ve once done a short hiatus before and came back because sometimes a small break is good to have, but sometimes all things must come to an end, and I’m officially closing my chapter with tumblr and writing for good.
I’ve made a couple of friends on here, and those friends I want to address real quickly and say my peace.
@wickizer , girl you know everything and ily
@minniepetals . My gosh, I remember reading your story String of Fate when it first came out, and I swore up and down, still today I do, that it’ll be published in the hall of fame. Despite it being on its hiatus, it’s still the best story so far. You deserve an award for your writing, and your story Cry Me A River is such an amazing masterpiece. I’ve been meaning to read it all, but life has gotten in the way and I’m so proud of you. Even tho we haven’t talked in the longest time, I’m still cheering you on, on here and outside of tumblr.
@aft3rhrs . Love, you’re amazing and I hope you take care of yourself and take time for yourself. Self love and self kindness is a priority and make yourself a priority. Your writing is beautiful and I’m glad we befriended each other. I’m cheering you on, and always will. Thank you for being a kind person.
And every other writer that I bonded with on here, I love you and will be a huge cheerleader for you. To those who I reached out to when I was still new for advice, or for me to fangirl to, thank you for being kind and helpful.
And to my followers, the ones who cheered me on to keep writing when I first joined tumblr, thank you for being kind and supportive. I love each and every single one of you. You made this place a safe place for the longest time, and I’m thankful for all of you.
I’m sorry for the longest apology and me basically dumping my issues on here, I just needed to be honest with you all. I didn’t want this to sound like a ‘poor me’ ‘feel sorry for me’ but I needed to, like I said before, be honest with you.
This is scary for me, but this is me saying goodbye.
Love forever and always, justcallmenikki7.
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devilscastle69 · 5 months
Text
panic! at the drugstore (j/jk, nanami)
hiiiii @ezynse merry xmas, happy new year, happy day. <3
im ur secret santa. <33 i hope u like this fic. ily. i want u to know the j key on my keyboard is challenged so i wrote "Goo" by accident sm ToT
(sorry for the title i dont even rlly listen to them i- )
please keep this to sneeze kink blogs only! 18+ only!
Summary stuff:
Fandom: J/JK
Characters: Nan//ami, Go/jo, Ijic/hi, Yu/ji,
Pairings: slight nana/go. in the way la croix has flavor
Good future AU (no bad stuff, everyones an adult. set in 2023)
As soon as Nanami detected Gojo’s presence, he should have turned on his heel and left. Instead, he’d gone into the drugstore, reasoning that the necessity of his trip outweighed the aggravation it’d cause. He wasn’t naive enough to hope he’d get out of here without any additional psychic damage but maybe he’d luck out and Gojo would— 
“Nanami!” Gojo sang from a few aisles over. This was starting to play out like one of his nightmares. Verbatim. “Wow, you shop here too?!” 
“Not anymore.” 
Gojo laughed easily and brushed off the obvious rejection with a wave of his hand. “Oh, don’t act like you’re not happy to see your best buddy!”
“I have no such thing.” Nanami sighed and drew out a cough in the process which he managed to muffle into the sleeve of his jacket. Anyone else would have read the room and left him alone, but Gojo continued to chatter on at a volume unfit for the public space they were in. If only he’d move back a few centimeters so Nanami could escape without having to push past him and potentially causing a bigger scene than they’re already causing. He’d already used up his energy—both cursed and otherwise—at work today and he was quickly fading. 
 For the first time, he wished he could focus on the bubblegum pop blasting through the speakers with its sentiments of Sakura blossoms and old times; it would beat trying to follow the embellished story Gojo was telling. He pinched the bridge of his nose. To make matters worse, the temperature change had caused the congestion that had mostly settled by the end of the train ride over here to return with a vengeance. His nose threatened to drip and he risked a small sniffle. Immediately, he recognized it as a mistake when the lingering prickle sharpened and traveled deeper into his nose.
As if he hadn’t sneezed enough today. 
“And after all that I got some wagashi at this great place near the hospital, Great Luck right? And haha it was! Anyway, the point is… I got some stuff for Yuji, but then I got hungry waiting for the car so I figured I’d better make up for it.”
Nanami made a point of checking his watch as a last ditch effort for a polite departure, less for Gojo’s sake and more for the sake of everyone else in this godforsaken store. But most of all for his own sake, considering he’s quickly losing the battle against the pertinent tickle up his right nostril. “I don’t have time to talk,” he said evenly, breath only wavering once he’s gotten the last word out. 
Unfortunately, Gojo clasped his shoulder, refusing to let him leave. “Did you take the train here? We could carpool instead, Ijichi is—”
“ht’KKxt!” Nanami interrupted with a poorly restrained sneeze directed into the sleeve of his jacket. 
“Bless you!” Gojo’s head lolled to the side; he had the decency to release him, but otherwise didn’t move out of his personal space. Nanami nodded and turned away. “Wow, that sounded painful. You okay?”
It was. “hGNXt’ch! h’kKt…chh.” Damnit. “Hh- kmpht’Chhh!” He might not have been able to see Gojo’s eyes, but he sure could feel them on him. This tickle just wasn’t going to quit until he let it out, and he’d rather end this as soon as possible. “h’eSCHh!” 
“Oh bless you.” Gojo, ever uncaring of displaying any decorum, took zero steps away from him. He examined him from a few different angles, tapping his chin as he hovered. “Bet I can guess why you’re here today!”
“Excuse me.” He pinched the bridge of his nose and rubbed small circles all the way into the inner corners of his eyes and tried to ignore the heat that had risen to his ears. His head pounded even harder than it had before. 
“Always so formal, huh?”
Always so inappropriately casual, huh? Nanami glanced at Gojo’s basket and its contents: strawberry shampoo, bags of candy, winter apple body wash, face masks, moisturizer, cotton candy flavored lip gloss, and more items he couldn’t quite make out, but surely none of them were essential enough to inconvenience Ijichi in the way Gojo was. Everything he’s learned about Satoru Gojo has been against his will, and now he’s horrified that his brain was wasting the time wondering if he’s one of those people who can’t go to the store and truly buy one item.
“So, how was your—”
“I don’t have time to talk. Excuse me.” Risking a shoulder check, Nanami walked towards the aisles. He tried not to sniffle more than strictly necessary and tried to ignore the extra set of footsteps behind him. Key word was tried.
“Oh wow, you really sound terrible.” Gojo said sympathetically, continuing to haunt Nanami all the way to the cold and flu aisle. “How long have you had that cold?”
Why did it have to be Gojo?
“Stop following me.”
“You forgot your basket, though.” 
So he did. “I don’dt need that much.” It was true, but Nanami accepted the basket anyway from the pouting man. 
“Mm, really? You kinda sound like you’re dying, y’know.” Gojo wandered around the aisle and picked up a box of medicine that he held up to his blindfolded eyes. “No offense.” A man started walking in their direction, took one look at Gojo, and immediately turned around. Nanami released a small forlorn sigh through gritted teeth.
“I’ll be finde.” he said, clearing his throat. He could curb the hoarse quality his voice had taken on, but the congestion was something he’d have to live with for now. “You mentionded Ijichi is waiting?”
“Yeah, so hurry up, Nanami!”
“I will n’dot be ri-ridi’hhgg wih—” He’d gotten distracted and hadn’t noticed that the itch from before had been slowly respawning. Gojo gave a questioning hum as Nanami his knuckle to his nose, sniffled sharply, and cleared his throat again. “I will not be riding with you.”
 “Aw, not with me?” 
Nanami shot him a glare. All of his efforts were in vain because the urge to sneeze returned with a vengeance and demanded his attention in a way that put Gojo’s efforts to shame. The prickle spread like wildfire through his sinuses, and in spite of his efforts in snuffing it out, he’d allowed himself to get distracted enough to give the enemy the advantage. “Hh-!” He inhaled sharply before shoving the back of his wrist up to his nose. “nGhthsCH! hh’NGXTCHh’ueh!” That last one had been particularly loud but had been just as unrelieving as its predecessors. “hehH’TSChhiuh!”
 Gojo patted his back. There was a warmth to his palm that Nanami could feel even through the layers of fabric acting as a buffer between them. “Bless you.” Using only his free hand, he easily broke the seal of a travel pack of tissues on the shelf and nudged a few tissues into Nanami’s palm.
“You’re supposed to pay first.” In spite of the protest, he fixed his glasses that were in danger of falling off his face and accepted the tissues; by noon, his handkerchief had become unusable and he’d already gone through the tissues he’d accepted at the train station this morning, so his options were limited. He turned away for a moment to blow his nose. While his efforts were productive, they did little to kill the taunting buzzing in the back of his nose. He pinched his nostrils shut from behind the tissue and willed the tickle to recede.
“Not yet! Hey if I buy your stuff will you ride with me? Wouldn’t you get back sooner that way? Oh, bless—”
“hh’MPHtchh!”
“—you again!”
He took a moment to massage the bridge of his nose in a silent apology to himself for the poor attempt at stifling before clearing his throat and bringing up sodden tissue to wipe the lingering moisture from the red rims of his nostrils. 
No amount of free cold medicine would make spending his free time with this absolute menace in a small enclosed space worth it, but at the same time it’d be less aggravating for him to just go along with it in the long run. Gojo’s already made it clear he has no intention of leaving him alone. He gave half a nod and picked up the first bottle of cold medicine that he saw and a bag of face masks and took a few steps in the direction of the check out. 
“That’s all you’re buying?” Gojo asked. His lips formed an exaggerated frown and his forehead wrinkled as if he was bewildered by Nanami’s shopping habits.
Nanami was too busy fighting a losing battle against the threat of another sneeze to tell Gojo to stop adding more items to the basket, but he managed to shoot him a pointed glare before his expression crumpled. “Hh- hehhH- …mPHTtshhiuh! Pardon,” he said more out of habit than anything and wiped his nose again, “I have more than enough now.” 
“So frugal.”
He supposed the cough drops, vicks, lotion tissues, vitamins, and nasal spray wouldn’t hurt, especially if accepting them will get Nanami out of here faster. Since he’d already opened the tissues, he figured he might as well put on one of the masks in the pack. His glasses immediately fogged and he tucked them into his inner coat pocket.
After they’d approached the register Gojo told the cashier they would be paying together and nuzzled his cheek against Nanami’s shoulder in an intimate way. He’d smack him later. 
The cold pierced through Nanami’s coat as soon as they opened the door. As annoying as this situation is, he can’t say he’s upset that he won’t have to walk back to the train station. They turned a corner and Gojo pointed out the car. 
“I know, I know.” Gojo opened the door to the passenger side and abruptly wrapped an arm around Nanami’s shoulder, yanking him into the field of vision as if he’d run away. “That took a little longer than I said, but look who I ran into!”
“Nanamin!” Itadori called out from the back seat with a cheery wave. Nanami is just as surprised to see him, though he’d mostly tuned out Gojo’s story. “No way, what a coincidence!”
Nanami shot Gojo a withering look and gave a slight bow to Itadori. “Itadori-kun…” 
“Think fast!” Gojo called out and threw a bag of candy at Itadori. 
He caught it easily. “Wow, thank you, Gojo-sensei!” 
“Gojo-san, we were meant to be back over a half hour ago—“
“Ijichiiii, you need to relax. Seriously, you’re already getting frown lines, that’s no good. Look, I even got something for you. Tadaaa~” He dropped a pack of instant udon into his lap and a face mask and made himself comfortable in the passenger seat. “Can you drop Nanami Kento-kun off first?”
“Don’t call me that.”
Ijichi sighed and took a moment before he half-heartedly thanked Gojo for the gifts. Then he turns to look at the backseat. “Of course, Nanami-san.” He and Nanami shared a quick glance as the cause of their stress tore into his own pack of candy and ate it noisily. 
“Oh, why are you wearing a mask, Nanamin?” Itadori asked as Nanami sat next to him and put on his seatbelt. “Do you have a cold?”
“It’s alright,” Nanami assured him and cleared his throat, “just a mild one.”
“I dunno if mild is the right word there, Nanamin.” Gojo interjected as Ijichi finally started driving.  
Itadori’s face fell and Nanami sincerely considered kicking the back of Gojo’s chair, though he was too busy pinching his nose shut over the fabric of the mask to stifle a sneeze that had nearly escaped his detection. “hGXxt’chshh!- excuse me.”
“Bless you. I hope you feel better soon.” Itadori frowned and offered him a piece of candy. Nanami shook his head and Itadori shrugged and ate it himself. 
“You’re gonna pop an eardrum like that,” Gojo chastised, clicking his tongue.
All of this was past the point of the nightmare he’d thought he was having earlier and was starting to veer into the fever dream category. Perhaps in more ways than one. Gojo flicked through the radio stations until he found what he was looking for and started singing along with a pop song. Itadori joined him and they pointed at each other while Nanami reflected on his life choices and folded his arms more tightly over his chest.  
Nanami glanced at Ijichi’s GPS. Twenty minutes of this felt like a death sentence. His limbs had started aching a few hours ago and now that the adrenaline was long dead and he was sitting again, he felt it in full force. The sudden urge to lean his temple against the foggy window arose and he indulged in it, ever so slowly pressing his forehead to the window. 
While Gojo was especially pitchy, the noise at least took the focus off of Nanami as he muffled a series of throat-tearing coughs against the crook of his arm. His lungs gave a slight whine as he regained his breath and he could feel the silent attention the other three men were giving him. 
“Can you breathe okay, Nanamin?” Itadori asked, patting his shoulder. If it were anyone else, Nanami would have batted the hand away, but doing that to Itadori would feel like kicking a puppy and it's not like he was heartless. While most people become hardened and jaded after living the life of a jujutsu sorcerer, Itadori remained as kind and genuine as ever over the years. 
Instead he nodded. “Yes. Don’t worry.” 
Itadori gave him a thumbs up. The singing continued and he pitied Ijichi for how long he’s had to put up with Satoru Gojo today. 
To Gojo’s credit, he toned down the singing, but Nanami almost wished he’d go back to his caterwauling, because his nose had chosen that moment to betray him yet again. It itched like mad and putting pressure on the tip of his nose did nothing to chase the feeling away. He did his best to muffle it into his sleeve anyway, hoping the extra layers would do anything to make it less intrusive than he knew it would be. “Hh- hgzt’SChhiuh! heHMPHhshh’ieuh!- pardon me.”
“Aw, bless you,” Gojo chimed in, stretching out his seatbelt as he turned his body around to face him. “Do you want my jacket, Nanamin?” He puckered his lips.
This time he let his shoe dig into the bag of Gojo’s chair. “No.”
Ijichi quietly turned up the heat. “Give him a break, Gojo-san,” he said tiredly. 
The rest of the ride quite literally blurred together as Nanami fought to keep his eyes open. With the heat on, his chills were kept at bay, and it was easy to drift off to sleep. He jolted and shook himself awake at least three times before the familiar building came into view, and the third time, it’d been because Itadori was saying his name to get his attention. Ijichi pulled up closer and stopped the car. Nanami thanked him for the ride and held up a hand to stop Itadori from offering a side hug. 
“Get well soon, Nana—”
Nanami shut the car door and ignored the rest of Gojo’s sentence. Getting into the apartment was a blur, but it wouldn’t be the first time he’d come home in rough shape, relying on autopilot. He immediately hung his jacket and loosened his tie, and then he removed his face mask, cringing as he pinched away the lingering moisture from his nostrils. He’d done his best to avoid rubbing his nose all day, but his efforts seemed to be in vain considering how sore it still was. 
As much as he wanted to just collapse into the couch, his discipline won out and he managed to undress. Though, not without challenge. “huhh…HGSCHh’uh!” He sneezed all over his chest, too slow to cover in his exhausted state. Undeniably, it was a relief to be able to sneeze freely in the privacy of his bedroom. “hh-...hDJtSchh’euh! hhaH’DTzSHhh’ih!” 
He found the tissues from the bag and blew his nose, letting out a slight hum of relief as some of the congestion came free. His eyes still ached and with a quick dose of medicine, he was ready to close them. He laid in bed with the extra throw blanket atop the comforter and waited for the chills to die down so he could sleep.
It  was restful for the first few hours. As he’d anticipated, he woke up in the early hours of the morning coughing, hair clinging to his forehead with sweat, and his mouth bone dry. 
3 AM. 
It was too early for this. He forces himself into the kitchen to fill a tall glass with water and to find a few more items from the bag. He took the cough drops out and put one in his mouth and placed the rest of the bag on the bedside table. 
Somehow knowing that he needed as much sleep as possible hindered him from doing so. He drifted in and out of sleeping for the entire morning, occasionally walking up mumbling something incomprehensible. 
He was finally asleep until his phone went off a few minutes past 6 AM. It wasn’t his alarm, but an obnoxious ding.
Gojo: 
heyyy nanamin~ 
… Nanami clenched his jaw as he watched the animated ellipses bubble and waited to see what could possibly be so important to disturb him.
Gojo:
good morning! 🌞hope u get some rest today hahaha :D you sounded awful 🤒dont go dying </3
Typically jujutsu sorcerers have about as much paid sick leave as he would’ve had at his former company: basically none. What kind of fucked up—
Nanami frowned, realizing he’d missed some other notifications, including the ones canceling his mission for the day. It’s easy to put the pieces together. He had to put the phone down to sneeze a few times, and it continued to ding throughout his fit.
Gojo:
we’ll have to go out when youre better!! next friday?? theres a new barcade i wanna try and then KARAOKE!!!!!! :DDD
Gojo:
Nanamiiiiii D: 
Gojo:
don’t leave me on read
Gojo:
bless youuuuu :3
Gojo:
no i cant hear u im just guessing
Gojo:
was i right?? o.O 
Nanami silenced his phone and went back to sleep, deciding to address the new situation, along with the strange feelings that’d started coming up, later. For now, at least he could relax. 
Nanami:
Thank you.
94 notes · View notes
taintedcigs · 7 months
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GETAWAY CAR — rockstar!e.m. x f!reader
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CHAPTER SIX: ALL TOMORROW'S PARTIES
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✦ summary: in which the truth about steve's party is revealed and eddie leaves reader another note (wc: 8.6k+)
✦ warnings — angst, ANGST, arguments, FIST FIGHT?!?, HUGE WARNING FOR BRUISES AND AN ABSIVE RELATIONSHIP!!!, mention of bruises, mention of shoving someone, BILLY IS ABSIVE, if this content makes you uncomfortable lmk so i can make a summary of it, or just skip the flash back (but its like half of the chapter>:() chrissy is horrible, BILLY is even more horrible, chrissy says some classist shit!!, eddie and p are an old married couple, drinking, smoking/weed
✦ pairings — rockstar!eddie munson x fem!reader, past billy hargrove x fem!reader
✦ authors note — @andvys ily thank u for always being so helpful w everything i hope u like this chapter bb!! not proof-read srry ignore mistakes !! and as i said this is a heavy chapter so lmk if any of u need a summary on the flashback. and im so sorry for making chrissy such a villain i actually rlly love her characterr >:(
anyway ily all pls interact + like + reblog to support me! i'd also LOVE LOVE to chat about anything abt this series it literally is my baby!! pls dont hesitate to send me an ask about anything mwah thank you for reading💗
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FIVE YEARS AGO.STEVE’S PARTY.
Twenty minutes.  You’ve been waiting in line for the bathroom at Steve’s stupid party for the last twenty minutes. Even plenty of people ahead of you had frustratedly groaned and left by now. But you weren’t going to give up that easy. 
A muffled string of curses filtered through the door before she turned the lock. The door creaked open slightly, revealing a glimpse of Chrissy's face.  She gave you a slight smile, and cluelessly, your face lit up. “Oh, thank god! Can you please let me in, I left my jacket in there.” You giggled, words tangled to each other as you made a clumsy attempt to slip past her, but she closed the door further.
With furrowed brows, you looked up at her. “Uh, I’m busy in here,” She giggled nervously, head tilting towards the side. “Oh,” You murmured.
“OH!” The realization was slow to hit you. She was with someone. You started grinning childishly. “Who’s the lucky guy?” You quipped your brows excitedly, causing Chrissy to stammer. 
You tried to pry open the door, brows still wiggling but Chrissy didn’t let you, mumbling something about being embarrassed. “Oh, come on, Chrissy…” You murmured, still grappling with her to open the door. 
“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about—” you began with a childlike giggle, attempting to open the door even wider. 
Your giggles were quick to die down when the door fell open, no words dared to come out of your lips as you finally saw who Chrissy was with.  Billy.  Soberness overcame you just at the sight of Billy’s disheveled hair, and Chrissy’s swollen plump lips. 
Your best friend and your boyfriend. 
Your eyes blinked rapidly, desperately wishing it was all a hallucination. The reality of the situation was slow to hit you, your vision blurred uncontrollably, throat tightening, and causing you to feel stuck, almost paralyzed. 
With a gulp, you were quick to take a step back, ignoring them calling your name as you turned back, forgetting all about the jacket you were supposed to get back when your legs felt so wobbly. You could hear the chatter outside the door get louder, everyone else taking a peak at what just happened. The whispers and gasps of everyone around you felt like mocking echoes.
You didn’t even know what to feel first. Anger? Jealousy? Sadness? Embarrassment?
It was a mix of all four and your chest hurts, tears welled up in your eyes, burning down your cheeks as your breaths came in shallow gasps, you couldn’t make any sense of it, and you couldn’t fucking understand it. 
You felt it, felt betrayal like a physical sensation, like there was a void in your chest. And you could sense that Billy was running after you, trying to catch up to you, but you resisted the temptation to slow down, your anger acting as a protective shield. 
“Baby, I swear nothing happened.” He exclaimed, desperation lacing his voice. Your eyes rolled instinctively, head tuning out the words that were too little, too late.
“Please, just listen to me she kissed me I didn’t! I tried to push her off—” You shouldn’t turn around, you definitely shouldn’t turn around and give him that satisfaction. 
But you do.
“For twenty minutes?!? You tried to push her off for twenty fucking minutes?” You yell back bitterly.
“It isn’t what you think, please just let me explain!” 
“Twenty fucking minutes, Billy!” You spat, pain quick to turn into anger. “Do you really think I’m that dumb?” Your fingers discarded your hair in anger, everything you knew to be true wasn’t anymore. 
You knew what you had with Billy was fucked up, it wasn’t a normal nor a healthy relationship, but it was familiar and you were used to it, used to him. A relationship with this many ups and downs became your version of normalcy, even though it shouldn’t have. 
No matter what happened, you thought he loved you, all those promises he whispered into your ear while you slept comfortably on his chest, all the times he murmured that he loved you, that he could never imagine being with anyone else, a whole fucking lie. 
And it hurt. 
Because you knew how hard it would be to walk away from this. You knew you couldn’t break away from him. You needed something to desperately pull you away. Show you that you deserved better than this.
No one would love you more than he did. He told you that a thousand times because it was true. He would do anything and everything for you. And you didn’t know why that enticed you, why being in such a fucked up situation hurt you in the best way possible, like an intoxicating yet destructive obsession.
And anyway, why would anyone even love you? You were a mess, a fuck up, nothing you did ever amounted to anything, and you knew that, you knew you were destined to be this way, to be with someone who constantly hurt you. Nothing you could do would be enough to get you out of the mess that was your mind.  
“I would never do that to you, never.” His eyes were glossy, mirroring yours, you could tell when he lied to you, and this wasn’t one of those times. And you hated that your gaze softened with that because you wanted to believe him. 
You knew he was flirty, you knew that the second you started dating Billy; from the countless times he flirted with the waitress when he took you to dinner, how he always got a little too close with the female lifeguards, how he charmed all the moms in Hawkins with a slight wink, it was a script you knew all too well. And you kept your mouth shut, tolerated it, only because he always brushed it off as nothing. 
You didn’t mind it because he loved you, he told you he did, and you believed him. The countless arguments, the accidental bruises, name-callings, punches in the wall, you forgave it all. Because he loved you, he told you that love made him this way, it made him this insane and angry. And you let him make you believe that his erratic behavior was love, until today. 
Because this was different, this was Chrissy. Your supposed best friend. Yes, Billy probably didn’t start making out with her, but he surely wasn’t eager to finish it either. 
The betrayal cut deeper than any argument or bruise; it was a wound inflicted by the two people you believed loved you unconditionally.
You let out a sarcastic chuckle, arms crossing against your chest as you could feel your face burn up with anger, tears drying out. “You are something else,” you uttered, disappointment and resentment flavoring your words.
“I don’t want to ever see you again, Billy, and I fucking mean it.” 
“Calm down,” he whispered, a feeble attempt to pacify you. 
“No! I am not going to fucking ‘calm down’. You—you fucking cheated on me w-with Chrissy!” Your voice wavered, and you hated it, your anger wasn’t powerful enough to wash away the pain you felt, and tears were stinging your eyes again. 
“Jesus how many times do I have to tell you she fucking kissed me! I-I didn’t fuckin’ cheat!” He defended but you shook your head.  “And, anyway, didn’t you fucking kiss that freak?” 
A lump formed in your throat, a bitter taste accompanying the memory. Yes, you did. But it was after one of your infamous breaks with Billy, the two of you were broken up. Eddie and you promised each other that it was nothing, that it would just complicate things between the two of you. And you knew, if Billy ever found out about it, he would not leave it alone, he wouldn’t let you hang out with him. He would mess with him till no end. And you didn’t want Eddie involved in it. Ever.
“I told you we didn’t!” You lied through your teeth, it didn’t matter now. What you did could never compare to what he fucking did. Ever. But you were starting to realize that maybe, just maybe, Chrissy spreading that rumor was not an accident, at all. 
Anger simmered, building like a storm inside you. “Don’t try to shift the blame on me, you fucking kissed her!” 
“I didn’t—”
“Did you not fucking kiss her back you asshole?” You interrupted, the surge of anger propelling you forward. Your hands found his shoulders, pushing him roughly.  Billy stammered, opening his mouth to speak. “I-I only for like a minute, then I fuckin’ pulled away, I swear!” He defended himself, making you huff angrily.
“It’s over, Billy.” You muttered, gaze meeting his. 
“I mean it.” You added, his sympathetic gaze was quick to turn cold, and it made you feel uneasy, how comfortable he was going from gentle to rough so quickly. 
His lips twisted into a cynical skepticism, “for how long this time? Eight hours? Two fucking days? A week?” There was that lump in your throat again. Billy didn’t believe that you could leave him, and you felt that tight, unexplainable feeling sink into your chest, he thought you’d stay with him no matter what, like a fucking object that he could do whatever he wants to. It’s sickeningly insulting, your hand raises to slap him, but he’s faster. 
“I don’t think so, sweetheart.” His harsh grip on your wrist hurts, but what hurts more is the fresh bruise he left on your forearm two days ago, another fight that got too grabby. 
“L-let me go,” you embarrassingly begged, wincing at his relentless grip. Your face scrunched with pain, eyes squeezing shut. The tenderness of the bruise made the slightest touch unbearable.
His hand twisted your wrist further, harsh hold squeezing more tears out of you than you realized. “B-billy,” you begged, again. Only then, Billy noticed your discomfort, swallowing hard before reluctantly releasing your arm. An emptiness replaced his hold, and your vision blurred as you tried to reassure yourself, fingertips gently tracing the purplish bruise.
“D-does forever work?” It comes out as a whisper, words tangling to each other when you recollect yourself from him, still trying to find the broken pieces he scattered, leaving without another word. 
And he didn’t bother to run after you, watching your figure leave while guilt set in, the sight of that purple blotch on your arm, how you flinched at any contact, the way you closed up during arguments, it was all because of him. All because he couldn’t fucking help himself; his anger or his need for control. 
He doesn’t escape the cycle. 
A sigh of relief escaped your lips as you walked away, tears streaming down your face. Your hands shook as you wiped them away, the weight of everything breaking free in a flood of sobs.
You immediately make your way to the drink stand, praying to whatever god there is that no one else can perceive you for the rest of the night so that you can drown in your sorrows and drink all of it away. 
You barely registered Chrissy approaching you between sobs and the harsh scoop of the 'pure fire,' as Steve called it, into the red cup clutched in your fists. “Can I talk to you?” Her voice, when it finally reached your ears, felt mocking, and carried a giddy undertone that enraged you more and more. 
“No,” you scoffed, refusing to entertain the idea, turning your attention back to the sorrowful task of filling your cup.
“Come on, take a chill pill,” she attempted to joke, her usual signature line falling flat. Your glare, sharp as the knives you felt in your back, met her with anger. She huffed a sigh of breath. 
“Please I’m sorry, just let me talk—”
“What the fuck do you want to talk about, huh?” You set the cup down harshly, the impact of it had the drink sloshing all over the surface, “the fact that you tried to kiss my boyfriend?” you interrupted with a spiteful look.
Her wavering sympathy dissipated at your accusation, eyes turning cold as she furrowed her brows. “What?” she hissed. “Tried? Is that what he told you?” She scoffed.
Your face scrunched. “I wouldn’t put it past you.” You spat back, you didn’t care if your words hurt her in the slightest, your thoughts were purely consumed by her betrayal. 
 “Excuse me?” Chrissy’s eyes narrowed.
“Jesus, Pinky are you really that fucking gullible?” She asked tilting her head almost mockingly. 
“Or do you really think that highly of yourself?” Your mouth struggled to open, heart dropped to your stomach when you realized she didn’t even care.
“We were in that bathroom for twenty minutes, use your imagination.” That goddamn smirk curved on her lips, and you knew you have never felt this amount of pain before, it was insulting, to ever think you called her your friend. 
“Oh, you are such a fucking-” You could feel your blood boiling, almost ready to attack her, your drunken haze giving you enough courage. 
But her annoying tone interrupted you, “Did you really think you were perfect? That you were enough for Billy?” 
“What did you think? That he would want a fucking charity case like you?” The tears pooled your eyes again, but you weren’t going to let her see it, so you held them in, clenching your fists as your breath caught in your throat. All of her insults became a deafening background noise to your ears. “Newsflash, Pinky you have junkies for parents. You’re too messed up. Even for Billy.” 
The heat rushed to your cheeks at the last insult, earning a visceral reaction because of how cruel she was. Disgust and anger overtook your senses quicker than you intended them to, you felt small, and so fucking stupid. 
Regret gnawed at you – You should’ve never let her in. You should’ve never let her comfort you. You should’ve never told her anything. It was all your fucking fault. For trusting anyone that came in your way. 
Just because you wanted to feel loved, just because you wanted to fill that void that your parents left. And it was so ironic, considering they couldn’t give two shits about you, yet your deepest wound would always be them. 
“You’re so fucking pathetic, Chrissy.” You spat, masking all of your emotions. You had mastered it at this point. You didn’t care what she said about you, she could keep her mouth running, because she was dead to you. Maybe you could’ve forgiven her for the whole Billy thing because fuck him too, he was no saint, right? 
But making fun of your parents was one line she couldn’t cross. 
“You’re more fit for that trailer trash freak.” Scratch that. Making fun of Eddie was one line she couldn’t fucking cross. Eddie. She couldn’t breathe near him if she wanted to, she didn’t deserve it. 
Your teeth grounded together, and fury fueled your rise to your feet. “Don’t ever call him that again.” The words slipped between gritted teeth, the realization of how close you had walked to her only dawned as you unintentionally cornered her.
She looked taken aback, brows pinched together. “What are you gonna do? Go all trailer trash on me too?” She chuckled, annoyingly loud.
You shouldn’t. You fucking shouldn’t. 
But she also shouldn’t have insulted Eddie. 
You are ready to lunge at her, feet planted closer as your hands are formed as fists at your side, and just as you’re about to take another step, a harsh arm yanked you away. Seconds away from getting that satisfaction, and just like that, you’re ripped away from it.
“What the—” You turned swiftly to see the culprit, as you harshly shook off the hold on you, your bruises still hurt, causing loud whines to part from your lips. Steve. Chrissy was back in your face, mocking laughter dancing in her eyes. “God, you’re predictable.” The laughter stung, and the pressure of your anger almost built up in your jaw. “Fuck you, you stupid—” You try again. No luck. Of course, Steve, with an unyielding grip, dragged you away.
Chrissy walked past, reveling in the scorned look etched on your face. She paused, turning with a smirk. “Oh, and next time you get a ‘freak accident’, make sure you don’t forget your jacket.” She pointed toward the fresh bruise on your forearm, courtesy to Billy who grabbed you a little too hard during another heated argument. Then she threw the jacket right next to you, on the floor landing with a mocking thud as she left with an irritating cackle. 
Impressively, Steve picked it up while maintaining his hold on you. “Let me go!” Your almost-scream echoed, his hands were unintentionally grazing the tender bruise, and it fucking hurt.
Only when he knew Chrissy was out of sight did he release his grip, and you shook him off with an exasperated huff. “What the fuck?!?” You questioned, gaze burning with fury. “Right back at you, what the fuck was that, Pinky?” He asked, tone more concerned than angry.  “Nothing,” you muttered. It was such an obvious lie that Steve rolled his eyes. “That won’t work with me.”
In a defiant move, you grabbed the drink, aiming to drown the tension, but Steve intercepted, harshly putting it back down. A glare shot his way. “Will you leave me alone?” “No.” He protested with a pinch of his brows. “So, tell me.”  “Steve,” you whined. You didn’t want to be interrogated by him, you knew he cared. But you just couldn’t handle it.  “I’m serious, you do realize this is my house, right?” His tone carried a veiled threat and you rolled your eyes at him. “I could kick you out any time I wanted to.” Your gaze narrowed, disbelief etched across your face. "You wouldn’t do shit." With a raise of his brows, Steve swiftly picked you up, slinging you over his shoulders. It all happened so fast that you weren’t quick to start softly punching his back and screaming.  God, he really was good at distracting you, so good that his little act almost coaxed a reluctant smile from your lips.  “Put me down!” You yelled behind him, your fists landed on his back with a not-so-impactful force. 
“Are you gonna tell me?” Steve asked, relishing the way you continued to thrash over his shoulder. Your face grew hotter every second, and with an annoyed huff, you finally nodded. “Yes, Jesus Christ!”
He gently lowered you to the ground, and a teasing glint danced in Steve's eyes as he quipped, "Atta girl." You responded with a scoff and a mock annoyed chuckle.
“So?” He questioned, arms crossing against his chest, his demeanor shifted,  the playful atmosphere dissipating as his expression turned serious.  “I caught Chrissy and Billy in the bathroom.”  “What?” Genuine shock washed over Steve's features, his eyes widening in disbelief. “Yeah I—” “And she still had the nerve to say all those fucking things?” Embarrassment surged, fluttering your cheeks hot. “You, uh, you heard those?” Steve responded with a quick nod.
“Don’t be embarrassed, Pinky, not with me.” He reassured you, his hand finding a comforting place on your waist, “she's the one who should be fuckin’ embarrassed. Jesus.”
“Thought she was supposed to be your friend,” Steve said, his gaze softening with empathy.
“Me too.” A sad chuckle escaped your lips.
His gaze lingered on the gnarly bruises decorating your arm, a visible wince reflecting in his expression. "And what about those?" he gulped, concern etching lines on his face.
You were quick to dismiss it with a wave, too quickly that of fucking course Steve knew something was wrong, you didn’t even dare to look at the bruises, or him in the eyes. 
“Bike accident,” you muttered, lying through your teeth.
"Since when do you have a bike?" Steve questioned and gauged your reaction, he knew you were lying, you were avoiding his gaze, and you looked visibly nervous, but he didn’t want to push this. It was too personal, and this wasn’t the place for it.  So, he understood, of course, he did. He or Nancy should’ve been the one you confided in. But you didn’t want to burden them with your problems.
“If—” Steve took a deep breath, choosing his words carefully. “If you ever need to talk about anything—and I mean anything—you can always talk to me. Hell, us! You can always talk to us, you know that, right?” His hand was quick to caress your back, gently, letting you know that he would always be there.
You nodded, but you wanted this pity party to be over, you wanted—needed Eddie. Just one hug from him. And maybe a joint.
“I-I know, thank you.” You hesitantly replied, stumbling over your words.
“You need anything?” He asked sincerely.
You shook your head softly. “No… but have you seen Eddie?” 
“He was selling to some idiots on the porch, might still be there.” He shrugged.
You were quick to nod, you had to leave, immediately. You didn’t want to worry Steve. “Thanks, Stevie, see you around?” You hummed, managing a smile that he mirrored.
And with that you were quick to grab your drink, downing it with a hiss before you almost ran to the porch, you didn’t want to see Billy or Chrissy again. You needed to find Eddie. And god, was it hot, you didn’t know if it was because of everything that transpired in the last twenty minutes, or it was because of the alcohol flowing in your system but you were burning up. And you didn’t want to wear your jacket. You should have.
A harsh breeze of air hit you once you finally stepped on the porch, fresh yet biting, serving as a slap of reality that had your eyes watering, you didn’t know why, you didn’t know how, but the tears came immediately.  It was pathetic, really. You with the bruises, half-drunk, discovering your friend with your boyfriend, breaking up with your boyfriend, and then earning insults from the said friend who was hooking up with your boyfriend.  A rollercoaster of a fucking night, but it was just getting started.  Slouching on the porch stairs, your head hung low to your knees as you covered your face with shame, almost. Mind reeling in the worst way possible. 
The insults stuck to it, Chrissy’s plump lips, Billy’s disheveled hair. His harsh grip on your arm. The way he mocked you. The insults Chrissy uttered. It was all a fucking mess. And you couldn’t handle any more of it. 
All the emotions you pent up over the years wanted to flow through your eyes, ruining you, completely breaking you apart. 
The red cup in your hand was crumpled roughly, each attempt to stifle your cries only intensified the shaking of the cup, spilling over to the stairs. 
Where was he? 
Where was Eddie? 
Your mind was spinning and the only thing you could think of was him. 
“Pinky?” The soft tone of his voice sliced through the tumult in your mind, and your head snapped up, eyes immediately watered at the sight.
There he stood, a boyish grin adorning his face, shaggy bangs falling over his amber eyes, a stupid leather jacket, and those stupid black jeans with chains attached to the hip. Him.
“Finally! Been lookin’ everywhere for you, sweetheart,” His voice wrapped around you like a reassuring embrace, but your foggy mind took a while for everything to register. When it did, you shot up, the world spinning dizzily, as you threw yourself into his arms. Sobs escaped freely, muffled against his jacket. 
His voice immediately softened, gentle hands running through your hair as he cooed. “Hey.. hey… what happened?” His tone so sweetly sick that you couldn’t help but melt into him, letting his warmth take over. 
Your breath caught up in your throat, and Eddie gently pulled away from the hug. Soft hands cupped your tear-streaked cheeks, grounding you with a simple touch. You gave into him, succumbing to his tenderness. 
This was what you needed. And it was almost as clear as day. It should’ve always been him. 
"I-I-" Your words stumbled over your sobs, the weight on your chest making it hard to breathe. Eddie's concerned eyes met yours, wiping away the tears on your cheek gently. 
“Honey, hey, hey…” He caught your attention, his soothing voice breaking through the haze. His brows furrowed with worry, and you blinked open your eyes, focusing on him. "Breathe, can you do that for me, sweetheart?" Like a lifeline, his words pulled you back from the edge. Concern etched on his face, apparent from his brows creasing.
What the fuck happened? And who fucking did this to you?
Eddie had a good idea who did it: Billy. The very thought of that name sent a surge of anger through his veins. Hadn't this asshole put you through enough already? What could he have fucking done now?
You drew in a shuddering breath, and Eddie, recognizing your struggle, encouraged you while soothingly caressing your hair, calming you down further and further.
"Deep breaths, just like that. Breathe for me," he coaxed, and you obediently followed, shallow breaths gradually returning to normal as you focused on him.
His touch was gentle, hands still caressing your cheeks as he asked with genuine concern, "Are you doing okay now?" He asked, gaze mellow and lips overturned with worry
You nodded, but it wasn't convincing enough for him. As your hiccups persisted, you finally managed to articulate through the tears, "Chrissy."
Eddie's heart tightened, a quizzical look on his face. Chrissy? What did she have to do with this?
"Billy hooked up with Chrissy," you revealed, it was the most clear you had spoken to him and he still had a hard time understanding it.  
His brows pinched together both in anger and confusion, his hold on you faltering once he registered your words.
So, Billy cheated on you? 
Oh, now he was going to kill that bastard. Once he made sure you were okay, he was going to beat the shit out of him. 
"What?" he exclaimed a little too loudly, his hold on you momentarily faltering in sheer shock.
"They—what?" he stammered.
"I caught them in the bathroom, Eddie, I—" Your tears blurred your vision again, and in frustration, you ran your hand through your hair. 
That's when Eddie's eyes widened, and he pointed to something, asking, "What's that?"
You froze, desperately attempting to dismiss it, but Eddie wasn't having it. His hands gently flew to your forearm, and you flinched just in time, hastily trying to put on the jacket you should've already been wearing. Stupid, stupid, stupid. 
Now he was going to ask so many questions, and you knew he wouldn’t let go like Steve did, and he would know if you lied, in a heartbeat. 
He huffed quickly, ignoring your protests as he softly held onto your arm, just around the bruise, being careful not to cause any more pain. Your lip trembled in the process. Shit, shit, shit. 
“Pinky…” he murmured, worry creasing his brows at the royal purple mark.
If Eddie knew, there was no turning back, there was no way he wouldn’t make a big deal out of it. A part of you was happy about it—maybe he could pull you away, maybe everything would be okay. 
But the other part of you was terrified. Because you know he wouldn’t think of your bruises as nothing like you did and like Billy kept assuring you, he wouldn’t just let this go like you would. He would stand up for you, and while you were grateful, you were equally scared. 
“N-nothing,” you muttered, avoiding his intense gaze. 
“That’s not nothing,” his hand extended, slowly but surely making you reveal the full extent of the huge, gnarly bruise on your arm, with another one freshly forming from the hold Billy had on you earlier. Fuck.
“Holy shit,” he muttered, trying to avoid the genuine gasp waiting to escape his lips, “What happened?” His gaze found yours. 
“Bike accident,” you lied through your teeth, a stupid fucking lie. He would never buy it.
“You don’t have a bike.” He heaved a sigh of breath, the thought of these bruises forming because of Billy didn’t even form his mind, sure he was awful and an asshole, but Eddie never thought he would be that awful. 
“I used Mike’s.” Another lie. 
“Did something bad happen?”
“No!”
“Pinky,” he said it so seriously that you felt bad.  “Tell me, please.” His tone was awfully worrying. 
How the fuck were you going to tell him?
“We were arguing—”
“What?” He quickly snapped back, not at you, but at what you were implying. He could almost feel the color draining from his cheeks. You surely didn’t mean…
“It-it was nothing!” You defended with a dismissive wave, but it didn’t stop his eyes widening. “We just- we were just arguing, and-and then he tried to hold me but i-it was just a little tight!” 
“H-he did this to you?” Eddie’s jaw clenched in an instant, and he tried his best not to react, trying not to show you how he could feel his blood practically boiling, you’d been through enough, you didn’t need to deal with calming him down now, too. 
“No, no, it was just a little accident. It doesn’t matter!” 
“Yes, it fucking does!”
“No, it doesn’t!” Frustrated, you spat back, a bit of your pent-up anger lashing out at Eddie.
“I’m going to kill that asshole,” He scowled, rising to his feet, eyes spitting fire and you were quick to have a strong hold on his arm. “N-no! Please.” You whispered, the desperation in your voice slicing through the tension. Your touch brings him back to the present, reminding him that you matter more than his impulsive reactions.
Eddie stopped with a sigh of breath, gaze returning to you, and you nervously licked your lips fingers combing through your hair to gather your thoughts. “Look, Eddie, I-I just needed to see you, I just needed to feel normal for a moment, please, not now.” Your gaze was sympathetic, you looked so hurt that Eddie’s brows scrunched in pain.
He opened his mouth, about to speak, about to tell you that he could protect you, but your brows furrowed, and that teary-eyed look returned on your face. “Please,” Desperate, tugging on his arm, and he had no choice but to nod. He could deal with this later. 
“O-okay,” he muttered, meekly, swallowing the lump in his throat. His stomach churned in pain and anger when he realized that bastard actually fucking hurt you. And you really thought it was all okay…
“What do you need, honey?” Sickeningly sweet tone was back again, and it warmed you up, removing the coldness that sat on your chest. 
“A hug…” You muttered, “and maybe a joint.” 
That brought an unintentional grin to both of your faces. “C’mere.” He whispered, arms quick to wrap around you, holding you close. The subtle sway of his body rocked you in the promise that you were not alone, his gaze filled with concern and you couldn’t help but melt into him when he pressed a kiss onto your hair. 
Too engulfed, too distracted to realize someone almost sprinting toward the two of you. Before you could process the approaching figure, a voice cut through the air, sharp and accusatory. “You didn’t kiss him? Bullshit!”
Confusion etched across your face as Eddie's protective arms tightened around you. “What the hell are you—” 
Billy, possibly fueled by alcohol, swaggered toward you both with an air of aggression.  “Stay the fuck away from my girlfriend.”
The scent of alcohol wafted from Billy, and Eddie’s unbridled rage was now on the surface, he wore a scowl, eyes daggering through Billy. His hand protectively remained on your hips, gently pulling you aside. You tried to look at him, silently pleaded that you didn’t want this, that you didn’t need him to do this. But it was no fucking use. 
“She’s not your fucking girlfriend, dipshit.” 
“Stay the fuck out of this, freak.” He ignored Eddie, rage now full on display as he fully turned toward you.
“What, you gonna deny it, or no?” Caught in a crossfire, you felt a surge of panic, and just as you were about to speak, Eddie did it for you. 
“No, she’s not gonna fuckin’ deny it.” Your eyes widened, blinking rapidly to process what Eddie just confessed to.
“Eddie—” You tried but again, no use, Eddie took a step closer to him.
“We did kiss.” A smirk played on his lips, he was doing it on purpose, he wanted to get Billy to punch him. 
“I fucking kissed her, asshole.” Shit, you internally cursed at him.
The tension thickened, you could see it in the ticking jaw and bulging vein on Billy's neck. He moved forward, poised to strike at Eddie. “You have the nerve you fuckin’ freak!” He stepped forward, attempting to get at him. 
You acted quick, acting as a shield to Eddie, you didn’t care, you couldn’t let him get hurt because of you. You couldn’t handle that. 
“Billy, don’t!” Your desperate plea was drowned out by the pounding music and the escalating chaos. Despite your efforts, Billy's aggression only intensified. A forceful push sent you sprawling to the unforgiving ground. Tiny rocks bit into your palms, and your knees scraped against the abrasive cement.
The impact on the ground sent a shockwave of pain through your body, a groan escaping your lips at the pain. Your world spun harder, you didn’t even know what to focus on first; the throbbing bruise on your cheek, Billy's kiss with Chrissy, the haze of your drunkenness, or the startling fact that Billy had pushed you to the ground. All of it made you dizzy.
You could barely blink when Eddie knocked Billy out cold, with three well-aimed punches, lunging at him the moment he laid hands on you, your gaze narrowed to make sure you saw it correctly. 
Eddie was fine. Eddie was okay. 
“Sweetheart, oh my god.” Eddie's voice cut through the haze, his worried tone a soothing balm. With a gentle scoop, he lifted you to your feet. 
You didn’t want to be there when Billy woke up, some drunk idiot could help him. Or Chrissy would, for all you cared. And as if Eddie understood you, he quickly helped you move away from the scene, guiding you towards the row of parked cars, away from everything.
Once you were at a safer distance, Eddie tried to hold you, face etched in concern, as he ventured to ask, “You doing okay?”
The scowl you wore was anything but, “Why did you do that?!?” The words spat from your lips surprised him.
“Excuse me?” Eddie responded, his brow furrowing in confusion.
“Yo-you shouldn’t have told him!” Worry was etched all over your face, Eddie didn’t realize the consequences of what he did would have, but you did, oh, you did. 
“D-do you realize what you just fucking did?” You wanted to cry, or you were already crying, you couldn’t tell when your cheeks were wet already. 
“I—”
You interrupted him. “I-I don’t need this, I don’t need you to protect me.”
“I didn’t mean to make you upset—”
“I’m not upset!” Your scowl deepened, face flushed with frustration. 
He tried to reach closer, tried to help you but you refused. “Don’t- just don’t!” 
“I-I don’t need to be saved or protected, okay?” Your lips wobbled, “just l-leave me alone, Eddie.” 
“What?” His face fell, lips downturned, as he struggled to comprehend your sudden detachment.
“Leave me alone, I-I can take care of myself!” You begged, but that anger sank on your chest, it made you bitter, made you want to close up entirely.
“How the fuck am I supposed to do that?” He spat, hands ruffling through his hair in anger. He took a step closer to you, stomach churning with the need to hold you.
“Pinky don’t you fucking see it? I care about you, you’re the only thing I care about in this goddamn world! How the fuck do you expect me to leave when you’re hurt?” His voice cracked, and your gaze softened with it.
“How do you expect me to not beat the shit out of that fucking asshole for doing that to you?” The raw emotion in his voice was enough to pierce through your defenses, making your heartache.
“I get it, I get that you’re tough, but shit—”
“I can’t just sit and watch you get hurt… I can’t.” The truth in his words hung heavy in the air, it was almost like a shift between the two of you, like the barrier finally dissipating, so that the true feelings would prevail. 
Yet, despite that you pushed back, your own stubbornness overtaking you. “But I want you to leave me alone!” 
You knew your words were nothing but a lie, you needed someone, him specifically. Sure, you had always been tough, but this? This was too much. And you knew he was the only one who could make you feel better, yet like an idiot, you pushed him away. That’s all you were good at, wasn’t it?
Your tears came back when you saw his face, defeated, all because of you. He didn’t deserve this. He didn’t deserve you. He deserved better, he shouldn’t be roped up in this mess. You had to push him away, you fucking had to. 
He didn’t do anything but look at you. Really, really looked at you. 
And you looked a mess, hair disheveled, mascara running down your cheeks, bruises on your arm, knees scrapped, lip wobbling, and you could barely stand. The worst possible condition he saw you in. 
He knew what you were doing, you were pushing him away because you were afraid. A move, he always pulled, a move he was good at until he met you. He understood you, possibly in a way no one ever could. 
Eddie, undeterred, stepped closer to you with a calm determination. Your head snapped up at the movement, eyebrows furrowed in confusion and frustration. 
“No.” He muttered. 
“What?” 
“I’m not gonna leave.”
“But—”
“No but’s, wear your jacket, I’m taking you home.” His tone was clear, not harsh, not soft either. Just letting you know that he was here, he was always going to be here and he was not leaving, even if you tried so hard to make him. 
“I-I don’t think I wanna go home.” You muttered.
“My place?” You nod softly. 
You don’t know why it caused you to break down again, but it did, tears were your friend and they were overspilling faster than you intended them to. His arms opened up instinctively and you didn’t hesitate to let him engulf you. 
“I’m sorry,” you murmured between sobs, the words catching in your throat. “‘M sorry, didn’t mean it, ‘m so sorry, sorry, so—” Hiccups interrupted your apologies, but Eddie hushed you gently, his presence making you feel at ease.
“I know, I know…” he cooed, hand ghosting over your back, the hold he had on you tight enough to let you know that you were safe. “It’s okay, honey.” He reassured. The sweet name had your heart beat faster once you looked up at him. 
“I-I didn’t mean it.” You stammered all teary-eyed, and Eddie couldn’t help the way his chest tightened, you didn’t deserve this, you didn’t deserve to cry. He was going to make sure you were okay.
“Hey, hey, I know.” He cooed softly, gently caressing your face.
“P-please, don’t leave.” Your tone framed the words so gut-wrenchingly painful that Eddie ached, his heart broke a million times, over and over, pieces to pieces. 
“Never.” 
“I’d never leave you.” 
NOW STEVE'S BRUNCH.
With the missing pieces of the puzzle finally being revealed to Eddie, that memory was what he replayed in his head, over and over, until he finally couldn’t handle the way Steve reassured you, hand on your waist as he told you idiotic jokes. 
He couldn’t shake off it, he shouldn’t just leave it like this. He should fight for you, he should do something. His hand was quick to fish out the notebook, his eyes scanned through it to find the perfect note, maybe, this would help you realize that he had always been there for you. A feeble attempt, but he didn’t have any other choice, you didn’t want to talk to him, so he just slipped the note to Jonathan and left. 
You watched him leave, a scowl on your face, heart aching when he didn’t even utter a goodbye to you. It was hypocritical, considering that you had asked him not to acknowledge you, but you couldn’t help it. You couldn’t help yourself when it came to him.
Hours had passed since that moment and you had apologized to Jonathan and Nancy a hundred times by now, but they shrugged it off without a care. God, you really didn’t deserve them, did you? 
And everything was going finally back to normal. Sipping the cocktails and munching on the amazing pancakes Steve had made everyone, and dabbling your feet in the water as laughter was all that surrounded the group. 
This was what it should’ve been, all of you, and Eddie. If he hadn’t brought her. 
But of course, all the bliss disappeared once Steve decided to bring it up again. 
“So… how do you feel?” You threw him a glare, splashing some of the chlorine-filled water directly at his hair. 
“Jesus, not the fucking hair!” He groaned, ruffling it with his daggering glare thrown at you. “Now you have to tell me!” He insisted, shoulder nudging yours. 
“I don’t really wanna talk about it,” you muttered, facing away from him as you felt everyone eyeing you. 
“Maybe, we should.” Jonathan chimed in, making you furrow your brows. 
“What does that mean?” Steve replied before you did. 
With a sigh, Jonathan extended a rustled paper, and you immediately recognized what it was, “He said he wanted me to give this to you.” 
“A note? So brave of him,” Steve mocked with a roll of his eyes, groaning when Nancy elbowed him. 
Robin hid her giggle with her hand, and Nancy threw her an icy glare, shutting both of them up. 
Your brows furrowed in disbelief, lips kissing your teeth as you snatched it out of his hand. “Oh, he did?” You didn’t mean to sound sarcastic, but it was pissing you off at this point. 
He didn’t utter a single word to you. And now he didn’t even have the decency to give you this? 
Steve was right. 
Why was he being a fucking coward? 
You were quick to get up from the side of the pool, plopping onto the nearest chair to read the contents. 
You could feel their eyes on you but they were quick to hide it, going back to their chatter. 
“When she gave me this, I never thought I’d actually end up writing in it for anything other than lyrics. Some ideas. But ever since we kissed, I can’t stop or control my thoughts, it’s been nonstop flowing and this is the only way I can express it. The only thing to make me feel sane, to make it seem like it really was real. My mouth hasn’t shut up about her since she kissed it, my thoughts haven’t been okay ever since I saw the curl of her lips right after she kissed me. I know how hard it is for her, I know how much she struggles with that dipshit who doesn't deserve her. But it doesn’t matter, now. I’ll wait. I’ll wait forever if she asks me to. I’ll do anything if she asks me to.”  
You turned the note over, nothing else was written, with your brows pinched together angrily, you smushed it into your pocket, ignoring the protests of everyone while you jumped into your car in a hurry. 
What the fuck was he thinking giving you this? 
What the fuck was his problem? 
If he wanted you, why couldn’t he just tell you? 
And if so, why did he even bring Chrissy? 
It wasn’t long till you made it to Eddie’s trailer, and with your harsh knocks, it wasn’t long till Eddie opened it. 
“Jesus Christ—” His words fell in the air at the sight of you, eyes widening. 
“What the fuck is your problem?” You yelled, lines on your forehead deepening into a frown as you held up the note in his face. 
“You didn’t utter a single word to me, and you’re just giving this note to Jonathan?” He stammered, mouth unable to find the words to speak, not really expecting you to confront him like this. 
“Why don’t you just say it to my fucking face?”
“I would, if you weren’t so busy.”
Your brows pinched together, “excuse me?” 
“Is this some kind of a joke?” He asked.
“Y-you tell me not to speak with you! You tell me that we shouldn’t ever see each other again, then you leave with Steve and somehow I’m the problem?” He said, exasperated.
Was he… jealous? Of Steve?
“No, the problem is you being a coward!” You raised your voice, hand pressing the note to his chest dramatically. 
“You think I’m a coward? I’m the furthest fucking thing from it, and you know that.”
“You think a coward would put everything aside for you? You think a coward would run away with you?” 
“O-okay, okay!” You want him to stop speaking, because you know he’s right, he wasn’t a coward, at least when it came to that. But he was a coward when it came to his feelings, and maybe it wouldn’t have pissed you off this much if you weren’t one too. 
The two of you were dancing around what you actually needed to talk about, feelings, and it was getting ridiculous at this point, because neither of you could pull away, no matter how many times you said you would. He pulled you in, and you pulled him in. 
“I fucked up, I did. But don’t ever act like I’m the one who ran away when things got too hard, okay?” He leaned further on the door frame, face inches away from yours, it made your breath hitch, heart thumping inside of your ribcage. 
Your words meshed together when your gaze stooped on his lips. He was close, so close, and he occupied your mind. “H-How did we even go back to this? It’s like we’re moving around in a stupid fucking circle and—” You took a deep breath to gather your thoughts. 
“I told you I didn’t want to do this back and forth with you and here we are again!” It was frustrating, everything with him was frustrating, but you couldn’t stay away from him, how could you?
Those five years had been hell. 
“Are you kidding?” His words were dripping with irritation, “You came to my door! Started screaming in my face and waving notes!”
“I only did it because you were too much of a fucking coward to give me the note!” Now it was fully getting ridiculous, arguments turning into a bickering old couple. 
“I told you I’m not a coward—” He defended.
You interrupted with, “Fine, fine! You are not a coward whatever!” 
“What you are is fucking infuriating!” You spat, taking a step closer to him. 
“Infuriating? You started this!” He fueled it, mirroring your steps, one more step from either of you, and his lips would be pressed onto yours. 
“Oh, so I kissed Chrissy?” You scoffed, arms crossed against your chest.
“Jesus, that’s not what I meant!” He almost groaned, frustrated. 
“You want me to prove it to you? You want me to tell you how much I messed up? I’ll fucking do it.” 
There was that tension between the two of you again, it wasn’t filled with hatred in the slightest, but there was so much unresolved shit that it might as well suffocate you if Eddie stepped any closer, it ached, making a way to your heart. 
Three hours ago you wanted him out of your life, for good. Now, all you wanted to do was see him prove himself to you, it was stupid, psychotic, and maybe a little selfish. But you couldn’t help yourself when it’s him. 
“You will?” You stammered, you didn’t fully know what that meant, but it was somehow making your heart jump knowing that maybe the notes still meant something. Maybe, just maybe he wanted you, still. Your forehead relaxed, and lips itched to curl into a smile. 
And of fucking course, Eddie caught it. “Yes.” He said, all smugly, making you want to roll your eyes. 
“G-good, uh, until then, I-I mean it, I don’t want to see you.” You shifted uncomfortably in your place, fully realizing how close he was to you, and it somehow brought confidence to Eddie.
He tssked, “Then you probably shouldn’t come to my door, then.” His nose scrunched sarcastically, eliciting an eye roll from you. 
“Munson.” You warned. 
“Pinky?”
“You really are infuriating.”
“Am I?” He tilted his head all adorably. 
“Yes.”
“See you tonight, sweetheart.” He winked. 
And you groaned with that, flipping him off while you hurried back to your car. 
He closed the door with an amused smile, his nose scrunching as he replayed the conversation in his head. 
“So you two good now?” Wayne’s grouchy tone almost had Eddie jump in place.
“Jesus Christ, Wayne! Were you just eavesdropping on our conversation?”
“What? You said y’all had the worst fight of your lives, that don’t seem like it to me.” He shrugged.
“We did— but uh, I don’t know, I just don’t know what the actual fuck is going with us, I thought I was dead to her but then she just barges in—”
“She cares about you, Eddie.” Wayne sighed. 
“I know that girl like the palm of my hand, if you were dead to her, she wouldn’t even acknowledge you, just her bein’ a big fireball shows she still cares.” 
Eddie sighed, “But she said—” 
“Hell to what she said! Both of y’all are idiots when it comes to this, you go prove to her that you’re sorry, tell her how you feel and then you can thank me.” He exclaimed.
“But—”
“Boy, do what I told you, apologize to that sweet girl, and make sure you do it until she forgives you.” Eddie threw a look at Wayne. 
And Wayne dismissed it with his finger pointing at him, “I mean it, Eddie, after all the shit you told me about what that little blondie did to my Pinky, you should be on your knees beggin’!” 
“Okay, okay!” Eddie admitted the defeat.
“Jesus, old man, it wouldn’t hurt for you to just take your nephew’s side once in a while, would it?” He mocked dramatically. 
He threw a daggering look at Eddie, “Fine, fine, I’ll apologize.” Wayne narrowed his gaze. “A proper apology.” Eddie muttered, almost embarrased. “And?” Wayne raised his brows. Eddie groaned loudly, “and I’ll tell her how I feel.”
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✦ final authors note — okay i promise the next two chapters are going to be less angst-filled (like gonna be worth the wait i promiseee) 🤭 and yes the note was inspired by alex turner's letter to alexa chung okay!! reading that at like 13 altered my brain chemistry a LOT. anyway like i said pls leave some feedback i swear it motivates me a LOTTT. thank u for reading ilyy💗
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halucynator · 5 months
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END OF 2023
sorry to anyone who didn't want to be tagged xx
hi! most of you will know me as lucy (unless you're @m3ntallyunstable34 and know my real name lol)
so yes, i am lucy. and this is me reflecting on 2023 on tumblr because it seems like a logical thing to do considering this year sucked like 20% less (one of us is lying reference) because of all my amazing online friends. so yes i guess in a way this is a mutual appreciation post 🫶
@berryzxx you wouldn't believe me when i tell you you were the first mutual i didn't have to be all professional and got to be a crazy bitch with lmao so thank you for not judging me and talking to me like we're besties (we totally are btw bc i said so) mwahh
@longlivestv the loml literally owe my life to you bee 🫶🫶 you are one of the main reasons i'm friends with all of the people i will mention after, so tysm and thank you for being so sweet to me and i love flirting with you /hj ilysm 💗 also if im too young to fall in love why do you keep running through my brain? 😍😍
@loserdiaz one of the very few people i get to openly talk to and not feel weird doing it akshdasjhd ilysm april <33 and youre one of the only people i will ever admit has better pick up lines than me (thats a huge honour btw) so thank you for keeping up with me and flirting with me it makes me feel very special mwahhh and ily and we should totally snuggle by the fireplace you know i made those cookies you like (sab reference) 😍🫶
@weeping-in-the-willows thank you for being the absolute SWEETEST person to me <3 ilysm and btw you were my first discord friend and i'm so honoured about that ajshdnjfe you're so nice and ily and i hope you get everything you want
@theladyinwhite13 thank you for appreciating my unhinged comments and you're one of the few people who deserve to be told that they are funnier than me (i rarely ever give anyone this honour btw so its very special) and i think you might appreciate this reference 'so what if i just wanna be a little out of my mind'
@bodybetters and @its-tortle karo and tortle my beloved <3 ilysm you're like two of the BEST mutuals ever and i was so honoured happy excited (any other positive adjective) when i realised you followed ME back?!? i was literally so ajshdnjfe i can't even put it in words you're like my favourite people on this hellsite (affectionate)
@suugarbabe ajdhhgajsgf my pookie <33 you always stand up for me and ilysm for it youre the nicest to me what did i ever do to deserve you 😭❤️
@patrophthia omg the absolute sweetestt!! youre an angel and ilysm and i hope you have the best life every <33 ilysm thank you for being so nice to me and making me feel valued asjdhajksd i love youu
@theautistmwitch omg idk how youre still sane after hearing to my traumatising jokes 😭 ilysm mwahh❤️thank you for being so sweet to meee it makes me so happy <333 can't wait to traumatise- uh i mean make you laugh even more next year!
@kurtcobainsgreencardigan ajkshdad i had the time of my life 'bullying' [insert their name] (i dont wanna get cancelled yk just in case people actually like them) with you <33 [i mean you technically didn't 'bully' them but we bonded over that] you're so funny and sweet and ily<3
@catastrxblues nadine the loml <33 i LOVED chatting with you and ranting to you and reading your answers to my asks akgdskg im so glad to have you as a mutual and i would love to have some more ranting convos with you in the future haha asdhjhajsh ilysm mwahh <3
@nyctophile-me omg you're so sweet to meee 😭😭😭 ily you're like one of my favourite wives too you're one of the only people i will ever share sab with mwah ❤️❤️ id love to talk to you more next year <3
@magicandmaybe @andi-is-bored @alltheliars and @animallover4000 omg you're all so sweet and ily and we didn't really interact a lot this year but i loved chatting with you on discord 💕
@imperpetuallylost omg ilyy you're so unintentionally (or intentionally?) funny ahsjdnfne and i guess it's inevitable sorry sky but it looks like you (lea not sky) deserve to [redacted] goosebot and it's well deserved ajsjdjdne ily and id love to interact more with you next year <33
@london-affairs literally started talking to you like 5 days ago and we were flirting non stop that's CRAZYYYY ily btw pookie 😍
@m3ntallyunstable34 my literal best friend!! i absolutely love you mwah mwah mwah thank you for being my best friend and dealing with me for 12 years llama im shocked you're not insane yet ahsjsj ilyyyy ❤️
these are the mutuals that made me throw my phone across the room and scream in excitement when i realised THEY followed ME
also i will take this moment to thank all of you for making my year amazing and i love you all so much and i hope you have THE BEST 2024. thank you so much for being a part of my crazy blog i would never have imagined 438 people would find this silly little blog 🫶
@cassiopeiasdaughter @faultsline @underthenightskydreamsneverdie @theostrophywife @slytherinslut0 @imperpetuallylost @themidnightarcher @stvrlighhttt @psychedeliccc @prettybaby-grande @nqds @themidnightarcher @i-miss-you-im-sorry @cottoncandywhispers @svnflowermoon @finalgirllx @fallingforfictionalcharacterss @ashisgreedy @moonffe @suugarbabe @wordsarelife and @xobridgertonblues (i might've tagged some people twice sorryyyy)
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thecapricunt1616 · 2 months
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Blue Lotus - SxC Fic - Chapter 2
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♡ Summary: Carmy & Syd go horseback riding!!! Carmy's therapy friends push him to go for what he wants, his 'light at the end of the tunnel'
♡ W/C: 6,534
♡ Posted Date: 04/07/2024
♡ A/N: Hayoooo!!! I am too inspired... this has become a multi-chap fic hahaha I am havin' so much fun here!! Thank you @gingergofastboatsmojito for inspiring me to keep going!!! ILY! As per usual please know - this fic was inspired by THIS FIC here - Tucson by the GLORIOUS GINGER!!!! Go read that before you even THINK about reading this fic ok?! I love how I hate storer for the same reasons but im a sucker for writing a slowburn - I find myself screaming at MYSELF internally "make them kiss already!!!!" but they will KISSSS SHORTLY SO SHORTLY MY DEARSSSS !!! It will be a JUICY TAYLOR SWIFT DAYLIGHT ASS KISS OK!!!! THEY WILL ONLY SEE EACHOTHER FROM THEN ON!!!! Its gonna be a 'and I can still see it all in my mind all of you all of me intertwined I USED TO THINK LOVE WOULD BE BLACK AND WHITE BUT ITS GOLDENNNNNNN. We need Carmy to realize a few more things but then - he will be hozier level devoted to this woman even more then he already is, I hope you enjoy!!
♡ Warnings for BTC: Not really any? Like? LOL - Swearing?! Smoking cigarettes?! They just went horseback riding & carmy went to therapy- oh Ig talks of carmy getting hard LMAO but thats as crazy as we get this chapter. ➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡ ➵ 𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐮𝐩 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡
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Stardust nudges his shoulder so hard he almost falls over, and he turns to look at her. His heart jumped into his throat, his mouth suddenly feeling dry. She was there, she was really there. 
“Uh-” he blinked a few times, to be sure that she wouldn’t disappear. “Syd? Hey..uh-” he felt his entire body buzzing with excitement. He couldn’t help the smile that took over his features. She looked… gorgeous. Carmen wasn’t sure there actually was a word in any human language ever to exist that could describe just how wonderful she looked. 
Her hair was in its natural state, she was wearing an adorable corduroy jacket, black jeans, and white sneakers. “You came to a farm…in those?” he motions to her shoes. 
She laughs a bit “Wow- it’s great to see you too, Carm. Didn’t realize you were…actually like living on a farm” she approached him carefully. 
“Shit- yes- fuck- It’s its so good to see you, Syd, C’mere” he pulls her into a tight, long hug. The smell of her lavender vanilla perfume nearly made him melt. 
“You’re like…tan- and…muscley now” She laughs a bit, squeezing his arm lightly. 
“Uh..” he pulled away, cheeks bright red. “Yeah uh.. It's like- fuckin hard t’ride a horse. And the um…” he rubbed his neck nervously “The uh cows.. They eat hay? Most the time, and so we need to move the bales during the morning for em, they’re like…. 75? 80 pounds? So moving like 10 back and forth every day helps. And I dont really.. Go inside? Here? Its like… uh.. Thats the therapy mostly, the animals- at least f’me” he said sheepishly. 
She nodded, looking around the stable. “That one behind you is yours? Shes been side-eying me creepily since I started talking” she pointed to Stardust. 
“Oh! Fuck sorry yea, well- no…not- not mine- I got ‘er t’trust me. But uh, yeah this is Stardust. She’s a super sweet girl” He explained. Stardust leaned in, sniffing Syds hair carefully. 
“Cute- All you’re missing is a hat” She teased.
He chuckled a bit,  “Ok, c’mon - why are you here, Syd” He said with a small smile, crossing his arms over his chest.
She shrugged, looking at the ground and kicking a rock out of the way with her shoe. “Cause…I was worried- I dunno…” She definitely wasn't going to get bold and tell him that she’d missed him, terribly.
“Ok…well now that y’here, and y’see i’m okay…wanna have some fun?” He asked, a small smile on his lips.
Syd looked back up at him, as if he had 3 heads. “Okay- Where is Carmen Berzatto- Not his… Weird alien clone- Camren Brazota” she said, laughing a bit “what do you mean fun?” She asked, and Carmy laughed, real, and genuine. 
“Well- If I didn’t change my view a little I’d never leave. So, yes, Syd, ‘a little fun never hurt noone’ - per my therapist. Shes fuckin annoying. I much prefer the horses.” He pet Star’s mane and she leaned into his touch.
“Holy shit” Syd laughed a bit. “Wow- alright. I feel like you’re a whole new man already, what kind of fun?” she mused. 
“Ever ridden a horse?” he walked over to the saddle rack, pulling off a double seated one and hanging it over the back of the stall door. 
“No- Actually, Don’t I need um…like - stuff for it?” she asked. 
“Oh don’t think I wont give you the full experience” he opened the riding closet, “Whats your shoe size?” he asked, crouching down and looking through the pairs of extras. 
“8? Er- 9 probably 9” she said. He dug through them until he found a matching pair.
“These should do, y’stuff is cool here we can just leave it in her stall” he told her, holding out his arm for her to hold while she switched her shoes.
“You seem like…” she said as she slipped off her sneaker and put on the boot. “I dunno…chill- well- i wont go that far- but chill-er then before.” Carm snorted a laugh, holding on to her arm to steady her. 
“Thanks? I guess..that’s good right?” He asked. 
“Yeah! Yeah of course…I mean, it’s nice. To see you not so…anxious.” She said, slipping the other boot on. 
“Yeah I um…” he cleared his throat, opening the stall door. “I uh..I’m takin meds- Now? Uh..all this shit. Y’know they have me like tranquilized more then these guys” he said and she laughs, Carmen smiled proudly at the fact, relishing in the wonderful sound. 
“But yeah like Like 3 er..er 4. they say I had all this uh..mental shit. Goin’ on w’me and that’s why I was all…wound up I guess” he explained, calling Star out and getting her harness situated. 
Syd caught herself staring at his arms as he worked, how the toned muscle moved beneath the fabric of the shirt. 
“Aren’t you freezing?” She asked, noticing he wasn’t wearing a jacket like she was. 
“Used to it now, well- I mean the moving around. It gets hot this shit is heavy. Wanna try to hold the saddle?” He asked, unhooking the saddle from the stall door where he’d left it momentarily. 
“It can’t be that bad” she countered. 
“I think this thing weighs probably as much as you do.” He said “hold out your arms” he smiled a bit. 
She lifted her arms out in front of her and he plops the saddle down, she had to plant one of her feet forward so she didn’t fall face first due to the sudden weight and he laughed, catching the saddle quickly and baring most the weight. 
“Told you” he teased. 
She rolled her eyes “yeah whatever. Saddle up the horse, cowboy” she dropped the saddle back in his arms. He hurled the saddle over Stars back with a grunt. 
“Fuckin hell” he huffed, realizing since the saddle was nearly double the weight as his usual, and being on the shorter end- he couldn’t just get it on her when she was standing straight. “Bow” he told the horse and she just stared at Sydney. 
“Don’t embarrass me, Star. Bow” he told her and she looked the other way. 
“So uhhh…this one’s trained, huh?” Sydney teased. 
Carmen looked back at her “mmhmm maybe she doesn’t like strangers” he said, walking over to the other side. 
“Since she’s bein difficult y’gonna have T’help. C’mere” he waved her over and she followed. “So when I push it up, just grab the saddle pad and make sure it doesn’t move, yea?” He asked. 
“The fuck is a saddle pad, dude- I know my way around a kitchen not a fuckin horse stable.” She looked at the many different layers the horse was already wearing. 
“Alright. So this,” he lifted the cloth, “is her blanket. Keeps her core warm. And beneath it” he pats the pad “this is her saddle pad, it makes it more comfortable. So our bones aren’t like..diggin in her back and shit. Also shock, when she jumps the foam of it helps our weight disperse. The saddle is so big and heavy I can’t keep the pad still at the same time, so just hold it f’me,” he took her hand, guiding it to where he wanted her to hold. 
She felt her heartbeat quicken, his hands were so large and calloused on top of her own. She nodded wordlessly, keeping her eyes trained on where she was meant to be holding and focusing on keeping it steady as he went back around and carefully lifted up the heavy saddle with a grunt, laying it over the horses back. 
“Jesus- how much can this thing carry” Syd asked. 
“Well she is a mare, she weighs about…mmm- 1900? She can comfortably hold about 400 pounds for a decent distance but she can’t do that for hours and hours at a time. We together can’t be more then 300, and her gear is less then 100 pounds. Were just goin f’r a quick ride, I gotta get to therapy at 3” he explained as he buckled on her saddle. 
“Ah. So you’ve been memorizing horse information instead of creating recipes? I figured when I got here you’d have gone nuts by now without being in a kitchen so long” she gently touched the horses mane as she spoke. 
“Maybe. Well…I am kinda goin crazy? But I can’t…let it out?” He chuckled a bit “does that make sense? Nights are a little hard before my sleep meds kick in but that just says I haven’t done enough that day” he got up. “So y’gettin up first since I’m sittin in back” he explained. 
“Oh…uh- ok how do I?” She asked looking up at the at least 7 foot tall animal. 
“Y’not gonna be able to do it alone. C’mere” he told her. She comes over and looks at him. 
“How the fuck do you do this?” She looked up at the saddle that was at the top of her head before looking back at him. 
“So-“ he snorts a laugh at her wide confused expression. “She’s not gonna like you trying to roll up on her back, and I don’t want you t’get thrown off, she can be moody with new people. I almost broke my shoulder my first time trying to ride her” he said and she crossed her arms slightly. 
“So how. How do I get up there?” She asked. He pulled out a step stool, setting it next to the horse and getting up on the third step. 
“I’m giving you a lift. Arms up” he said with a playful smirk. 
“No- no way- Carmen that’s too high. You’ll drop me!!” She took a step back, feeling slightly nervous. 
“I won’t because I’ll bribe her Syd. C’mere” he pulled a pack of peep marshmallows out of his pocket and the horse nearly starts dancing. 
“Carm- what the fuck is happening?” She asked and Carmy chuckled. 
“Bow. Cmon Syd wants t’ride. Bow and you’ll get y’treat star.” He told the horse. 
It obediently bowed down and before Syd could process what was happening, Carm was scooping her up beneath her arms Syd squealed in surprise. “Oh my GOD WHY ARE YOU PICKING ME UP!” She shrieked, wiggling in his arms. 
“open y’legs! Cmon! she’s gonna get up!!!” Carmen laughed holding her up higher. Syd finally obeyed and he gently plopped her on the first saddle. “Good girl” he told the horse, feeding her the marshmallow and putting the packet in his pocket again before swiftly getting on behind Syd. 
“Alright. Hard part done.” He reached around her waist, and she lifted her arms slightly. 
“What- can you tell me what’s going on? I’m a horse virgin!” She said, and they both went quiet for a moment, before cracking up laughing. Syd leaned to her left slightly as she tried catching her breath, grabbing the rein for stability and tugging. 
Star took off sprinting, Syd screamed in surprise, her body going tight with fear. Carmen quickly wrapped his arms around Syds waist protectively, tugging on the reigns “WOOOOAH!” He called to Star and she quickly came to a stop. 
“Stand.” He told the horse firmly. 
“What the fuck Carm I thought she was trained!” Syd exclaimed, gripping onto his forearms for dear life. 
“I gotchu, you think I’d let her kick you off?” He tightened his arms around her. Carmen swore his heart was thumping so hard that she felt it on her shoulder blade. 
“Also when she moves it’s hard to keep still.” She said nervously. 
“Don’t worry, I gotchu, Syd. Lean into me, if our weight is centered then it’ll be easier for all 3 of us” he gently pushed at her stomach. 
She leaned back into his broad chest, “see” he said softly. He was lucky the angle didn’t allow for her to see him, because his face was bright red, And having her body pressed against his…was making him flush somewhere else too. 
He clicked his tongue and Stardust started walking again, at an easy comfortable trot. “This…is ok.” She said, much more comfortable now. 
“I’m gonna take you t’one of my favorite spots.” He said, pulling on the reins to the left lightly so she would follow the left trail. 
“Wow, already sharing secret spots huh? I think this therapist may just be Doctor of the year I don’t even think I’ve seen your favorite Chicago spots” she teased. 
Carm laughed a bit, he felt so much lighter with Syd around. And life had been lighter ever since he got here. 
“How is…uh- how is it back home?” He cleared his throat lightly. It was something that had being weighing on him. Yes, he was here, he was doing the thing. He was making Sugar happy. He was making Syd happy…but he would go back, at some point. 
And his biggest fear was things will just go right back. He won’t have this outlet, he won’t have sunset rides with Stardust to ease his mind. He won’t have the cows happily running up to him and greeting him when he was the first one to bring out a bale of hay. He felt like if he was here, he may have the confidence to tell Syd how he feels. But back home? It was another life. 
“Fine..things are..y’know. The usual shit. But nothing bad, no one’s getting locked in any freezers if that’s what you mean” she said playfully. 
Carm rolled his eyes with a light smile. “Mmhmm. So the restaurant is-“ 
“Is fine.” She said. “I’d have told you. You know that.” She said and he nodded a bit. 
“I know she scared you back there…but it’s pretty fun to go fast. You wanna try?” He asked. 
She shifted a bit uncomfortably, her hands tightening around his arms that were holding the reins around her waist. “Uhh…maybe? Are you sure we won’t fall off?” She questioned. 
“I’m sure. Here you can be the one to control it. Start light ok? With your legs.” He gently ran his hands down her thighs to right below her knees “here” he said softly, squeezing the flesh gently so she wouldn’t have to lean and look. “With that part of your legs, give her a little squeeze. But really light, or we’ll take out of here like a bat out of hell” he held around her waist again, securely holding the reins. 
“Mmhmm” she said, she was beginning to feel hot- and not because she’d done any hard work in regards to getting the horse ready. 
“Alright. Whenever you’re ready, you’re the boss” he said the last part softly in her ear. If it wasn’t for her jacket, he would see the goosebumps that had risen on her arms. She nodded quickly, staring straight ahead and trying to maintain her composure. 
“So I just?” She squeezed gently and the horse picks up her speed slightly. “Oh…ok” she said. 
“Told y’she was trained” Carmy teased and she rolls her eyes. 
“Mmm you’ve done a very good job, bribing this horse with peeps. The staff know you do this?” She asked. Carmy snorted a laugh
“No. But she’s healthy. Made sure. She only gets one or 2 if she doesn’t listen.” He admitted. 
She shook her head with a smile. “And how’d you find this out, Carm?” She leaned into him once more. 
“I…” he laughed a bit, his chest vibrating with the movement and it made her heart warm. 
“I uh…spent a few days in the library here. Reading up. After she threw me off. It’s all about trust with em. So I never lied to ‘er and I’ve never done something she didn’t expect because I always try to warn her.” He said, pulling her reigns a bit tighter. 
“This is like a joyride Syd cmon, I said fast not an evening stroll.” He teased. 
“Fine. Mister horse master- show me what Miss Stardust can do.” She said. 
With 2 kisses and a quick tap of his heel, they were off like a rocket. He held Syd steady, being sure she wouldn’t have to do most the work of holding herself center as he gripped each reign with the opposite hand, holding them taught so Star knew to keep going. 
Syd laughed, the wind flicking her dark curls all around. He wished she could see her amused expression. “Holy shit this is the best!” She shouted over the loud thuds of Stars hoofbeats. 
“I know right! Can you believe she can go faster?” He said, holding his knees taut around her hips to keep her from sliding. 
“Okay we are not! This is fine!” She said and sat up a bit “are we going into the-” She asks as Star begins to barrel through a creek, the freezing water spraying up and around them getting them slightly wet, the freezing water splashing from their calves up to their cheeks.. “CARMY!” She screams through laughter. 
He could barely catch his breath as he laughed so hard his stomach and ribs ached. “I’m sorry!! Syd! Oh god-“ he chuckled “woah girl- woah” he called to the course and she slowed down once again to a stop. 
“Fuck-“ Carmen chuckled “you okay?” He asked, picking a wet leaf from her jacket and throwing it to the forest floor. 
“Yeah- I’m.. I’m fine. That was really fun actually. C’mon I wanna see the spot” she said and took it upon herself to tug the reins so Star would take off again
“Shi-it!” He quickly finds his balance, “warn me!! Oh god I almost flew off!!” He told her. 
“You think I’d let her throw you off?” She mimics him from earlier and he takes the chance to playfully pinch her waist 
“Yes because who’s in back and who’s in front?” He wrapped his arms around her again, taking the reins from her grasp. “Your reign privileges have been revoked for this riding lesson, Ms.Adamu”  
She laughed a bit “I’ll earn them back. Don’t worry” she mused. 
“Mmm we need to talk about more shit before I just literally hand the reins over. Coulda spooked her and we’d be fuckin dead.” he angled the outside reigns so she’d slow down as they came to the clearing. 
“Here we are” he hopped off, raising his arms to help her down. 
She carefully reached out for him and he lifted her off, gently setting her down. “Holy fuck Carmy” she turned around, watching the waterfall cascade down over the rocks. 
“Right! Told you. It’s a fire spot” he went over to one of the rocks he usually sat at, plopping down and taking out a cigarette. “Oh- shit- can’t have y’running off” he told Stardust and chuckled, leaving the cigarette between his lips as he walked over to her, guiding her over to the tree, and hooking her right rein around a branch before sitting back down. 
“Yeah…I can’t remember the last time I went somewhere so…” she trailed off, looking at all the trees and running water. 
“Green?” Carmy lit his cigarette, taking a drag. “Not packed with smog? Somewhere that doesn’t smell like shit.” He said as he exhaled. 
“…yeah” she said and laughed a bit. “Yeah. Guess that’s it.” She came and sat next to him. “What did you mean about her getting scared?” She asked curiously. 
“Oh- a scared horse will fucking kill you. Not on purpose, but they’re big and pure muscle, and will do anything to get away from danger. I scared the shit out of her one time, that was it. Dislocated my shoulder 8th day here. Doing that hurts like a bitch by the way.” He rolled his shoulder gently. 
“How’d you manage that? God I knew you were shit at chatting up girls but she dislocated your shoulder?” She teased. 
He rolled his eyes with a playful smile, taking another drag. “Yes, I was fuckin around on the trail, dunno why- but there was this branch sticking out so I grabbed it, it snapped, she fuckin reeeared dude. I flew back so hard. My back might still be bruised I’m not sure. Still hurts a little to laugh” he said. 
“You better have seen a doctor” she said. 
“Ohhh silly Syd.” He sighed, a puff of smoke filling the air in front of him. “We aren’t allowed to refuse treatment here. If you get hurt, and you refuse to get help, it’s considered self harm, which leads to them believing you have suicidal ideation, which leads to you being locked in the actual nuthouse. So yes. I willingly went to the doctor daily for a week. And now, I’m being checked on once a week. So yeah. Oh and therapy daily. And every day I’m given my meds and someone checks over ‘pre-existing injuries’ which that is now considered. So yeah. I’m good. I’m fuckin fine as fine can be.” He said. 
“Awww poor little chef, being taken care of so well that’s so hard isn’t it?” She teased and he gives her a playful glare, but couldn’t help but crack a smile when he realized she was smiling too. 
“I was being taken care of fine at home by myself but you and my sister just had to ship me off after one tiny accident” he leaned back on his hand, taking another drag of his cigarette. 
“It stops becoming an accident when you didn’t care, Carm. You didn’t care. It didn’t phase you. You weren’t even…you weren’t even scared. Just because you didn’t do it on purpose doesn’t mean you did the sane thing which would have been doing everything you could to not let something like that happen.” She said, her tone suddenly serious. 
He looked down at his lap, swallowing thickly. He suddenly felt all of the armor he’d spent the last 31 days chipping at, slowly start to meld back together and shell him back in at the shame the whole situation was making him feel. 
“I have nightmares…you know. About it. What happened” she said quietly, and he could physically feel his heart ripping open. 
The only sound between them was the bubbling stream, and the sounds of their even breaths. 
“I’m sorry.” He said quietly, gaze fixed on his lap knowing he would burst into tears at the admission she’d been so deeply plagued by something he’d done, if he had looked at her.
“I know” was all she said, gently resting her hand on top of his. He felt the same fireworks exploding in his chest that he only ever felt when she was around. 
“Do you um…” he clears his throat and shook his head, embarrassed by the question plaguing his mind. “Never mind it’s..it’s stupid.” He removed his hand, putting his cigarette in it and resting the hand opposite of her on the rock. 
“That usually means it’s not stupid. What?” She coaxed, bumping his knee with hers gently. 
“It’s stupid” he said again, shrugging his shoulders. 
“It can’t be stupider then asking me what UPS means” She said playfully. He rolled his eyes, smiling and looking over at her. 
“And what if it is?” He questioned. 
“I would be..worried they’re giving you a bad concoction of meds that’s turning your glorious chef brain in to Swiss cheese” she teased 
He snorts a laugh. “I was gonna ask..if you wanted to cook..t’night. My cabin…it uh- has a kitchen? I haven’t cooked in a month. They give us food so I haven’t really bothered but…seeing you makes me miss it more, I guess” he blushed, looking back down at his lap. 
“Well obviously. Not gonna let you eat whatever bullshit they’ve been giving you while I’m around.” She said and he shook his head, meeting her gaze once more with a playful smirk. 
“Maybe you should check in. My therapist says it’s bad apparently to feel ‘responsible for others’ - says it’s a ‘subconscious self harming behavior’ “ he teased. 
She smiled a bit. “Okay- say I do. How about, I check in now, we shoot the shit for what- eleven more days- then, you go back home- and see how stressful it is in that restaurant when one of your hands is basically missing” she plucked the cigarette bud he’d forgotten about from between his fingers before it burnt him, flicking it into the creek. 
“You know that’s the first time I’ve seen you smoke- other then…me like checking on you when you were about to explode at work. But you’ve never…pulled one out and smoked it I guess” she said, pulling her knees to her chest and resting her cheek on her forearm as she looked at him. 
“Oh…” he said, pulling one of his legs up and resting his arm on it. “Didn’t realize you noticed” he said, brushing some dirt off his jeans. 
“I notice a lot of stupid shit about you, it’s kinda annoying honestly.” She said without thinking, her eyes widening when she realized and she looked the other way, resting her other cheek on her knee and squeezing her eyes shut. 
Why would you ever say that?! She asked herself internally. 
“Oh?” He said again, smiling a bit. “You do?” He questions, but that was as far as he’d push. 
“Mhm” was all she responded. Carmys phone started buzzing in his pocket and he pulled it out in case it was one of the ‘base keepers’ they called them. Carmy rather call them babysitters. He knew what they were for, being sure if they were out of sight too long they were making sure they could still get ahold of them. 
He sighed in relief when he saw it was just his 2:40 alarm. “Gotta go” he stood up, offering his hand to Syd. “Like- now. Or my ass is getting chewed out.” 
The ride back to the cabins was mostly silent. He had no stool this time, so he had to pick up Syd essentially by the ass and gently place her on Stars back so she didn’t get spooked. 
He was embarassed as fuck that the tiny action had the crotch region of his jeans tightening more then was casually explainable. Thank god no one was around to see him awkwardly hop in the way of his semi hard third leg down his left pant leg, grunting but covering it with a dry cough when she settled her ass back into him to ‘center their gravity’ 
Syd absolutely felt the firmness pressing into her ass. She thought it was a bit funny, but also brushed it off to the strange friction that came with riding a horse. She couldn’t allow herself to fully believe his teenage like excitement was due to her, or she’d go insane. 
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Carmy dropped Syd off at his cabin, giving her the key and telling her he’d put up Stardust and be back by 5, she would be blushing if it weren’t for her mahogany complexion at the domesticity of it all - er what she could imagine domesticity with Carmy would feel like. 
Her panties were also soaked through from the feeling of his enormous length pressed into the curve of her ass - the entire way back - but she just chalked that up to not getting laid for a few months, and misreading his natural arousal for him being horny- she quickly pushed the thought down and just chalked it up to the horse. Because guys get hard when they ride horses…right? Right?!
Carmen arrived to therapy extremely frustrated, and extremely ready to talk. He sat down in his regular spot in the back, tapping his knee nervously and covering his crotch with his hands. Luckily, thinking about his mother was enough to make him soft nearly instantly so he had that to thank her for at least. 
“Alright guys!” Julienne, the usual Friday therapist came in, sitting in her spot in the circle. “Who is up today! We are-“ she looks at her iPad “oh! Yes this is another OP class, so- no pressure but, I wanna hear what’s goin on!” She crossed her legs. 
Julie was far from his favorite therapist, at Blue Lotus. But he wasn’t his least favorite. So he would still talk. He cleared his throat, raising his hand slightly. 
“Carmy?! What a treat! Okay what’s up” she grabbed her little stylus pencil. He bit the inside of his lip nervously. He despised how casual she tried to make this all feel. 
“Uh…so- my um…business partner, she came to see me. I guess I haven’t been…keeping touch? Enough? She just said she was worried…” he cleared his throat again, gaze fixed on his lap. “And uh…I’m startin’ t’-t’realize stuff?” He sniffled nervously, rubbing his mouth with slightly clammy, nervous hands. 
“She uh..” he chuckled a bit. “She…she just…showed up. Didn’t hear shit from ‘er. She probably knew that I’d uh…I’d tell ‘er no?” He finally meets the gaze of Julie. 
“Okay. You know guests are allowed right? Like- during the visiting hours, 6am to 11pm, no fraternizing between patients but-“ Carmen cuts her off
“We aren’t - no. Not fraternizing” He shook his head. “But uh…today? We were- we were sitting. This spot, near uh, Jupiter point? On the north side. And I had this- this urge T-to tell her…everything.” He shook his head, looking at the floor again. 
“So…you wanted to tell her you love her?” Jesse, one of the guys he’d had lunch with a few times piped up. 
“T’be honest, I don’t know.” Carmen said honestly, looking at him. 
“Well what does it feel like?” Jesse asked, sitting up a bit. 
“What? Like- what does what feel like?” Carmen asked curiously. 
“Her. Being with her. Talking to her? Inside. Like. Your chest. Your skin?” He questioned. 
“Uh…” Carmen sat back, swallowing thickly and crossing his arms over his chest. He thought for a moment. 
“Hot. I get hot. All over. My chest feels tight but - but good? Like- a hug almost. And then…when she…” he blushed, looking down with a shy smile. “When she touches me” he shook his head slightly. “When she touches me it’s like um.. fireworks? Like fireworks beneath my skin.” He chuckled a bit at how cheesy it sounded. 
“And you haven’t fucking nailed her?” Jessie asked plainly. 
Carmen furrowed his brows, glaring at him. “No” he clenched his jaw “I haven’t.” He snips. 
“Dude- you are- pussy whipped with no pussy?! You- you love her, Carmen. You love this chick. I feel like I’m looking in a weird straight mirror - the first time-“ he laughed a bit “the first time I kissed a guy- god. He was so hot. But I had no idea! I had no idea. I really thought that I was just-“ he shook his head “that I was just wanting to befriend him? Or something? But like- I wanted to fuck him. And when I did kiss him? Something unlocked in my brain dude. It was like…like a whole new world. I felt like I knew - I knew what love could feel like? Just ‘cause of that one kiss “ he shrugged. 
Carmen looked at him, arms crossed, trying to absorb everything he was saying even though every fiber of his former self was screaming to take it with nothing more than a grain of salt. 
“Kiss her dude. Kiss her.” Jesse said and sat back in his chair. 
“Well. Although, consensual sexual instances are against the code of conduct to discuss - I am very proud to see you two coming out of your shells. Has anyone else felt… confused in their romantic endeavors and would like to share?” Julie asked. 
Carmen crossed his arms tighter, looking down at his lap. This was quite unusual for him, he was one of the patients to only add what he had to to be credited during inpatient, and during outpatient - only spoke when he really and honestly had to. 
“Uh-“ the super tall girl, Shayna sits up. Carmen was never really sure why she was here. She looked…perfect by all means. Perfect skin, perfect nails, pretty face, long blonde hair, a perfect body by girl standards. Or at least what Carmen had understood of them.
 “Not really the same.. but before I came out? I like…I would uh buy…girl clothes. That I liked. For my girlfriends at the time…” she blushed “and um.. I realized after a while that I liked them. And I wasn’t just..wanting to see my girlfriend in them. And like- it’s not the exact same, but when he said… about how Jesse realized he wanted the guy. That’s how I felt when I finally tried the clothes on” she shrugged. 
Carmen was…aghast. He just simply stared at her. He’d never met- or thought-  he’d ever met a trans person before today. But…Shayna? 
Well- he was wrong because he had met her, they actually knew each other fairly well as far as patients go, she joined the program when he did. When they first met, she’d made a joke about how they were the tallest girl and shortest guy in the class, so that meant they were bound to be friends, since opposites attract - and that earned a chuckle out of him before his meds had even fully evened out. 
“I love the cis-and-confused look- it’s cute” she said and laughed a bit. Carmen blushed, smiling a bit. 
“Not confused- well, maybe. Maybe a little. Y’Just so…dainty? I dunno..” he shrugged. 
“In case you haven’t noticed- mr.little man syndrome- you’re only one out with the cows doing the hay on time in the morning. Ninty percent of the group is your version of dainty ” Jesse teased. 
“Jesse” Julie gives him the look. “I’d assume that means- the rest of you that aren’t out helping with the bales- are scraping out the cow pens? Since Carmen is doing all the hard work according to you.” 
“I’m not girl- fuck no! The second I got out of inpatient house arrest? I walked my happy ass down to Walmart and bought me some blackout curtains. I recommend those to all of you! Oh my god and some ear plugs!! The stupid fucking roosters! Worst 15 days of my lifeee! I’m never coming back here peace and love to you all though. Truly. Can’t stand this cow shit stank ass place.”  Shayna said dramatically, causing Carmen to chuckle a bit.
 He had loved her boldness since they’d met. If Shayna didn’t want to do something- she wasn’t doing it. He learned that the day the staff tried to force her on anti-depressants. One of the main therapists got a Wellbutrin straight to the eye, they never attempted that battle the same way again. 
“We know Shayna you aren’t shoveling scat, princesses don’t do that” Jesse mocked her valley girl tone. 
“Okay! Okay. Alriiiight! Back on track- done with the bickering!” Julie said. “Now that open call is over let’s move on to breakthroughs. This issss-“ she looks at her iPad “ah- yes! D group. So. That makes it-“ he checks her watch “ah- right. 11 days! How are your light tunnel projects going?” She questioned. 
Carmen’s chest tightened, but not in the Syd is smiling or he made Syd laugh way- in the - I haven't done something I was meant to do way. 
The Light Tunnel project wasn’t hard. It was simply one thing you have done that you had wanted to do when you came into the program. And Carmy knew what his answer was, 
Admit how he felt to Sydney. 
Or, as his Therapist- Mandy told him ‘become more truthful with yourself and those you know about how you feel’ because “counting on someone to like him back would put him at square one” he had pretended to understand, but knew that he had to tell her and soon - or he was going to really go insane. 
“ my light tunnel was to talk to my asshole father- but lucky for me I just caught wind the motherfucker finally died thank god. So by default I win and don’t have to be here anymore cause his abandonment was what fucked me up anyhow“ Shayna said jokingly, causing Carm to snort a laugh. He knew she was only joking about the leaving early part, not the father part. Her father was an even bigger piece of shit then Carmen’s was, he had come to learn.
“Mmm that isn’t how it works we know that Shayna. We’ll talk more about this in one to one “ Julie told her and Shayna crossed her long legs, looking out the window. 
The last 20 minutes of the session Carmen sat silently, looking out the opposite window to Shayna, watching the horses running around in the field before they got called in for dinner and just spacing out, thinking about what he may say to Syd. 
“Yo - Carm space cadet” Shayna said before kicking his boot he jumped a bit, looking up at them both and had realized the room since had cleared and Julie was preparing for her next session. 
“Shit.” He said “how long have I been like…like that?” He asked, his cheeks feeling hot. 
“It’s the OCD meds. They get you stuck in a happy thought loop sometimes. Are you just gonna sit here? You wanna do another hour of this with sniveling group a? They got here three days ago.” Jesse said. Carm shook his head, getting up. 
“No- no sorry” he said starting with them outside. Shayna laughed a bit 
“You were thinking of screwing that business partner aren’t you. “ she said, causing Carmys cheeks to go pinker. 
“Shayna shut up!” Jesse scolded, pushing her shoulder lightly. 
“Awwww carmyyy are your feelings hurt little buddy? Do you need a hug? Jesus men are such pussys” she pushed open the doors of the therapy cabin for them. 
“Let me see pictures of this hot chick. If you don’t fuck her I will and I bet I’d do a better job” Shayna teased as they started heading back towards the cabins. 
Carmen couldn’t even process what she said as he felt his breath get caught in his chest, he saw her. She was sitting on the porch of his cabin, criss-cross in one of the rocking chairs as she writes in her notebook. He couldn’t help but stop and stare at the way the setting sun hit her bronze skin, her curls casting intricate patterned shadows on the wood. He felt his heart pick up, his chest squeezing in that way, the way that only happened when he saw her. 
Shayna and Jesse stopped after a few moments when they realized Carm had gotten stuck behind. They both follow his gaze carefully to see what he was so fixed on, like a trance. 
“Holy fuuuck!!! Holy fuck how did I get this lucky!! She’s here? She’s here still?!” Shana asked excitedly, “oh my god- you’re getting laid- tonight” she excitedly skips up to the cabin and Syd looks up, locking eyes with her before seeing Carmen just a few paces behind.  “I’m Shayna! Do you and Carm wanna hang out with us tonight?”
➵ 𝐍𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡♡♡
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saw444kowo · 11 months
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OMG! I love that you included the age regression part in the Hobie and neurodivergent reader thing! It's really cool to see people write for it especially with Hobie! It would be really cool if you could write more for it! No pressure tho! (Your writing is really really cool! /srs)
OMG TYSM ILY I- <3 <3 <3 /p
ofc!! if you want i can try writing it for all characters ? but im scared it'd be repetitive 🥲
BUT OMG I'M SO HAPPY PPL LIKE MY WRITING AAAAAA /pos
so here have a lil fic :3 tysm once again ily this made my day /g /p
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sharing a non verbal moment in little space with hobie !
author's note: omg anon you made me so happy you fr got me giggling and kicking my feet in the air /pos
author's note 2: age regression is a coping mechanism often used by trauma/abuse victims in which one puts themself at the age they were when the trauma occurred - find more about it here!
synopsis/content: just a whole bunch of fluff for my new favorite anon <33 reader is a non verbal age regressor and gender neutral 🦅 this won't be proofread 🕺🏻also hobie is the reader's boyfriend <3 aaaand small mention of trauma
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you heard some gentle knocking on the door of your room.
"doll? can i come in?" hobie asked, waiting for your response.
seeing you didn't say anything, he gently invited himself in.
as he noticed you playing with your stuffed animals on the floor, he instantly knew you were age regressing.
though you never talked to him about your trauma, he knew what were the signs of you being in your little space, so he tried his best to support you as he knew it was a trauma induced coping mechanism.
"i'm sorry i arrived late at the tea party" he says, joining you on the floor.
you chuckle at the sight of your boyfriend - the punk, careless boy - taking parts in such activities.
you took a small piece of paper and a colorful, shiny pencil next to you and started to write something.
"me.. can't talk.. me is nonverbal.." read hobie. "no problem!" he says with a frank smile. "you don't have to talk if you don't want to, there's really no pressure. do you want to watch some cartoons while i prepare you your favorite food? we can cuddle and fill in some coulouring books if you'd like to?"
you nod and flap your hands in excitement.
a few moments later, your boyfriend got in the living room with two plates of dino nuggets and a glass of vanilla milk and sat next to you.
while the two of you were eating, you excitedly pointed to the tv.
"bluey? is this who you are trying to show me?" he asked.
you nod as excitedly as you pointed out your favorite character again.
"you're right, star." hobie nods. "bluey is also my favorite character. you know why? because she reminds me a lot of you - being so cute and when she's all excited."
you and your boyfriend kept on watching bluey and filling out coloring books for so much time you started to get tired.
"say, isn't my little star getting tired?" he asked as he noticed you started yawning.
you tried to shake your head as a way to say no, but soon after that you started falling asleep on your colorings.
"come on, little one, i think it's time we go to sleep" hobie said softly. "don't worry, tomorrow we will have plenty of time to finish those coloring pages."
you headed to the bathroom, holding hands while he helped you brush your teeth and fix your hair.
he then helped you getting in bed, making sure that you didn't leave out any plushies on the floor (that made you sad) and joined you for some pre-sleep cuddles.
"have a good night star" he says as he softly kisses your cheek. "i love you."
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THIS WAS SO FUN TO WRITE ILY FOR THAT ANON <333 I HOPE YOU'LL ENJOY <333
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