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#if they're really bothered by the way i dress do they really like me for me
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Enough Is Enough - LN
Request from @littlemissfran - Hey, could you write something about Lando being in a super private nearly secret relationship. So people kinda only know he is in a relationship but not who she is and then being spotted with one female friend which starts dating rumours (like the whole magui situation) And lando having to kinda post something about him being in a relationship bc they get frustrated with those rumours
No part 2 requests please
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The only evidence of Lando's relationship was verbal conversation and two pictures on his Lando.jpg. One of her nails done with LN4 logo with a papaya colour and the other one being of her almost entirely hidden under a hotel duvet.
Fans have even actively been looking through his instagram to see if he follows her and for her own sake her doesn't. They also make attempts to inspect every possible person spotted around McLaren. Which is really a fool's game.
But his burner account does follow her, thankfully that's on private.
Y/n also still lives and spends a large portion of her time in England.
But Lando does everything to see her and on occasion she'll come over to Monaco. Thankfully incognito and with them exclusively spending time together in his apartment, there's no chance of the camera capturing them on a night out in Monaco.
"You should come." P tries as y/n sits on Lando's sofa. The plan to go out with Max, P and a few other friends being on the agenda for Lando's short stint home before he's back out for the China GP.
"No...you know the rules." Y/n smiles while P pouts looking at Max who doesn't even bother to give her the time of day in helping to convince y/n to join them.
"You are always left out it's not fair."
"If I can get over it. I'm sure you can, P." Y/n assures her while Lando appears freshly showered and dressed immediately being harassed by P about the fact he's not dragging y/n out with them.
"You think I haven't tried. I've love to have her with us." Lando states while sighing as he looks at y/n who smiles. "Are you sure?"
"And miss the opportunity to swap the order of your helmets around on the shelves to see if you could put them back to the way you have them? Not a chance." Y/n teases earning a grin before he leans down and kisses her. "I have to do some work anyway, my boss has me on the grind even when I'm out the country."
Lando grumbles at that, hating the idea of his girlfriend being overworked. But he knows she wants to work, in fact work is one of the bigger players in keeping them so private over any other reason.
"I don't know anyone who would choose to be a rich man's personal assistant." Max comments making y/n look at him in amusement and Lando look at him in annoyance. He always gets defensive over any negative comment about y/n even if it's a joke from his childhood best friend.
"Well long term plan is to seduce and marry, Lando's just a place holder." Y/n smirks earning a warning swat on her knee since it's a running joke.
"We'll be back quite late, text me if you need anything or just want me home early. I'll ditch them." Lando states earring a laugh.
"Charming, you know they're your guests."
"Not my girlfriend though. Don't work too hard."
"No point, it's past April I've already got my bonus for the year." Y/n giggles as he leans over for another kiss.
"Smarter not harder." Lando hums recalling her life rule when it comes to quite literally anything.
-
Lando being sober because he's driving meant that he had to deal with the jolly tipsiness of all those who were around him. Though he'd realised how much it sucked not having her there.
So when he got home and found y/n asleep, her laptop on the bed, her bosses schedule with tabs of confirmation for flights, hotels, contacts, emails, all the things she handles for the man. Even shopping lists and god knows how manage messages between them. He's not even sure how she manages to look through all this stuff.
"Ok, baby." Lando sighs closing the laptop and kissing the side of her face which stirs her from the depth of sleep.
"Lando?"
"Yeah, that's me." Lando smiles making her roll over and looking at him as he places her laptop on her side.
"Did you come back early?" Y/n mumbles as he moves back helping her in a bit of a pathetic attempt to try and shift so she's actually under the blankets.
"No. You fell asleep working. Even-"
"Don't lecture me like a bore." Y/n smiles cheekily making him huff and sigh at her. "I had to book some last minute flights for him to go see his wife's fashion show in Milan. Be happy he's not demanding I go with him. He's taking assistant B with him."
"Ok, enough about work."
"Yeah, tell me about the night." Y/n hums and smiles when he does as requested. Listening to Lando talk about the night while he undresses before lying down with her. "Sounds like you spent the night surrounded by girls. Should I be jealous?"
"As if."
"I meant of you. Surrounded by girls sounds like a fun position to be in." Y/n giggles before rolling over so she's lying half on top of him while he rolls his eyes at her. "Can we sleep now? I'm really tired."
"Yes."
-
Morning rolls around, leaving Lando and y/n as the last people to wake up. But when they door Max looks annoyed and P looks a little upset.
"Oh god, have you two been arguing while we've been asleep?" Lando questions checking his meal prep from Jon.
"Don't go online mate." Max states making y/n immediately pull out her phone to check only for Lando to snatch it and quite literally shove it down his shorts as he sits.
"I don't know why you think that's effective. My hands have been there before." Y/n laughs earning groans from the other couple. "So is someone going to explain?"
"The world thinks Lando is dating Magui again." Max states making Lando curse and huff from his seat while y/n shrugs. "We did go to the Masters with her."
"I-She's a friend. I sat next to you-"
"They don't care about me when it comes to your relationship, mate." Max sighs before y/n dives her hand down and grabs her phone before running.
Lando hates-really hates when y/n sees the posts about any relationship he's supposedly in with any one of the women he's spotted with. Y/n always wants to see it so she knows exactly what she's getting herself involved with.
It's actually the one thing that is hard about their relationship. Y/n sometimes tries to use humour to cope.
"Y/n!" Lando exclaims rushing after her but she locks herself in the bathroom.
Y/n scrolls through the clips from the Masters, the videos from last night, pictures with fans. Oh he was seen by everyone.
"Wow." Y/n whispers since if she wasn't his girlfriend, she'd certainly believe it too.
"Y/n! Open the door." Lando groans making her sigh and unlock the door. She hates that she feels like shit over false rumours and lies made up by assumptions and people who don't even know her or even really know Lando. "Baby?"
Her expression and mood reads easily, Lando can see the hurt she's trying to hide and as if it isn't already bad enough they both know she's got a couple hours before she needs to fly back to London.
"I'm just sort of sick of this." Y/n sighs rubbing her hands over her face. "I'm sorry."
There's a moment that Lando feels his heart still, looking at her.
Even Max and P eavesdropping from the other room exchange a wide eyed look in a panic and P even goes to stand and intervene only for Max to shake his head since this is something for Lando and y/n to handle.
"Sorry? Sorry for what?" Lando questions while she swallows thickly.
"Sorry for being upset about...something that's out you're control." Y/n frowns making him deflate and relax a little since he really thought she might be breaking up with him.
"I'm sorry baby." Lando whispers making her head her head. "I'm sorry that they-they think who I date is any of their business. But I'm putting an end to this."
"Lando..." Y/n mumbles but he only kisses her softly and smiles lightly at her.
"I'm going to tell them to shut the fuck up." Lando states earning a small laugh.
"What does that even mean?" Y/n laughs making him grin.
"Do you trust me?"
"If I didn't then I'd be believing them assuming that you're dating all those other women."
"Mmm...I'll write a statement, I'll let them know that they are never going to be privileged enough to know my girlfriend and if they catch me with someone then they should know it's not you because you're just too good for them to really think it'd be that easy."
"Wow. You're going to tell them that?"
"Yeah, and I'm going to make a helmet designed by you-and you can put your choice of words on there for them too." Lando grins making her laugh.
"Are you allowed swear words on your helmet?"
"Mmm...that angry?"
"I'm not exactly impressed. It's getting a bit repetitive." Y/n sighs earning a small nod of understanding.
"Can I ask you something?" Lando whispers knowing P and Max would freak out if they overheard this part.
"Yes."
"It doesn't have to be a promise of soon, or even ever really. But if you say yes when I propose...can we maybe start being less private?"
"When?" Y/n smirks making him roll his eyes. "Not if but when?"
She has to tease him, poke at him about something. She can't help it but it does improve the mood a lot.
"Yes. We can start being less private. When that happens."
"Ok, that's a plan. I love you."
"I love you too, lots and lots."
"I don't deserve you...any other woman would've left." Lando sighs making her smile sadly.
"Then it's good I'm not any other woman."
"No. You're definitely not. Especially not like any of my friends. That's why you're stuck with me for life." Lando grins earning a hum. "In private, in public and anywhere you want and choose."
"Good. Now go make that statement. I want those fucking assholes to shut the fuck up thinking Magui is your girlfriend. Nothing against her obviously, but I'm not standing for the world thinking you're up for someone else to take."
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"I can't hear you over the sound of the eight billion glasses and plates clinking, and the very high possibility that I'm going to lose my job, and the fact that everyone at this charity dinner hates me but we have to act nice to each other, and the weird lighting in this room, and these fucking Spanx!" - Katherine Hastings, probably
#she's autistic because i said so#the lighting in the charity dinner is so weird#it's not bad lighting but the spotlights make me think of searchlights#i remember trying on these really firm leggings that my mum has#and my mum was like “remember when you were asking about shapewear because of that show? that's what Spanx feel like.”#and i'm thinking “well that's bullshit; i can see why they made an entire cold open about them; this material is awful.”#also there's a continuity error in that cold open with katherine's sleeves#and it bothers me because when ana posted the scene on her insta; there was no continuity error#but the clips were in a different order in the actual episode#which just goes to show how many times i've watched that cold open#like i love it and i hate it#also wtf were the tight sleeve things for#do people really pay that much attention to women's arms when they're wearing tight dresses?#katherine and ana don't need spanx#and the former shouldn't feel like she needs them#i will die on this very specific hill#that scene in the commercial ep where sadie says something like “women should wear what they're comfortable in”#TELL THAT TO YOUR GIRLFRIEND#on x's insta she said that they were all wearing spanx and could barely breathe#and i'm just thinking about katherine really awkwardly asking dori for help#and dori sending a text to sadie#being like “we will all support katherine. we will all be concerned about her job and be physically uncomfortable together.”#women loving women in a non-gay way#but also in a gay way#sad that i can't tag people in hashtags#because i would love for @harrietdyker to write a fic#american auto#katherine hastings#sadie ryan#dori otis
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multifandomhoodies · 1 year
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i think instead of thinking about gender i’m gonna go dig a hole and lay in the ground.
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hairmetal666 · 2 months
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Steve doesn't date, not anymore. He goes to bars, clubs, picks people up and makes it clear it's just for the night; that it can't, won't, be for anything more.
He falls too fast and too hard; wants so badly to be loved that he loses himself to it. So, he doesn't date and he's fine. More than fine, actually. Not worrying about finding someone, about falling in love, lets him truly enjoy his life; maybe for the first time since childhood.
He goes with Robin to visit her parents in Hawkins, wakes up at the ass crack of dawn to go for a run. With the sun barely up, he doesn't expect to come face-to-face with Eddie Munson, smoking on a park bench.
They startle each other in the early Hawkins quiet, Eddie jumping hard enough that he drops his cigarette into the dirt at his feet.
"Christ, Harrington!" He snarls a little.
"Fuck, Eddie." Steve fights to catch his breath. "What are you doing out this early?"
He glances up, finds Eddie's eyes raking over this body in a way that makes him go hot all over.
"Haven't been home yet." Eddie smirks. And he can see that's true, Eddie is fully dressed, faint lines of mascara trail across his cheeks.
"Had a show?"
"Something like that." Eddie's cheeks pink, and he pulls a chunk of hair over his face.
Understanding dawns, and Steve points at him, delighted laugh bubbling in his throat.
"Don't--"
"You had an all night Hellfire meeting?" Steve cackles.
"Shut--Harrington, shut-up." But he's smiling too. "I'm in town this weekend. Dustin insisted!"
"You can tell him no, you know?" Steve giggles.
"Like you ever could."
Eddie stands then, and they hug, quick and tight. He practically crumbles into his friend's body, but then, that's nothing new. Steve breathes him in, immediately comforted by the familiarity of tobacco and leather and sweat and weed.
"I'm at Rob's. Come say hi?"
Eddie nods and they trek back together. They kept in touch, after Vecna, and their chatting is easy, like it's not been six months since the last time.
Eddie stays for breakfast tells them with a smile, "I was gonna call but--I'm moving to Chicago. That's why I'm crashing at Wayne's for now, stopped on the way--"
The rest of his words are smothered by the force of Steve and Robin's hug, Steve's heart beating an elated rhythm he doesn't bother investigating.
--
When Eddie makes it to town, they hang out as constantly as an adult with a day job and a touring musician can. It's nice, good, to see Eddie sitting on their couch. To watch him smoke a joint on the balcony. To hangout in his bed as he works on new music. It's just like the summer of '86, before they all went off to find their futures.
They're closer than they've ever been. Crashing at each other's apartments, sharing clothes, meeting for coffee and drinks and meals. There's not a day or night when they're free that they don't spend together.
Steve knows he's falling for Eddie; was halfway there already, and now--well, Eddie's beautiful and funny and smart and talented. He doesn't make a move, though. Because Eddie'll leave, like they all do, and losing Eddie will crush him more than anyone else ever has.
--
In June, Eddie's gone for a month, touring across the midwest. The day he's expected back, Steve's in the kitchen, rolling up fresh pasta, simmering sauce on the stove.
Robin stomps in, eyes flashing. "What are you doing?"
"Making dinner?" Steve raises an eyebrow.
"Steve."
"Robin."
They glare at each other across the kitchen. Steve breaks first. "What's wrong with making our friend dinner?"
"I don't want either of you to get hurt."
Steve freezes, swallows. "I'm not--I'm--I wouldn't."
"Just. Promise you'll be careful?"
He nods, squeezes his hands into fists. "Course, Rob."
And he means it, he really does, but when Eddie lets himself in, Steve runs to the doorway to pull his friend into a tight hug.
Eddie huffs out a burst of air on impact, laughing lightly. "Miss me, sweetheart?"
"So much," Steve whispers. He presses his nose into Eddie's neck, breathing him in, and he doesn't miss the way a kiss is pressed into his hair, the way Eddie's breathing him in too.
They fall into their natural rhythm immediately, Eddie following him to the kitchen, cooing and posturing that Steve made him dinner.
As Steve serves up the food, Eddie wraps his arms around his waist, leaning against his back. God help him, but Steve can't help relax into the hold, turning his head until their eyes meet.
Desire bleeds from Eddie's gaze, and Steve's breath hitches. He wants this so badly, knows he shouldn't, but he lets himself lean in until they share air.
But--he can't lose Eddie. He can't.
He turns away, lets the moment die. Eddie doesn't stay over that night, and Steve pretends like it doesn't make his stomach hurt.
--
They aren't as close after that.
Steve keeps telling himself it's because they're busy. The school year's starting up, Steve's got lesson plans to write; Eddie made an EP, it got interest, he's taking meetings in New York and LA. It's okay that they're spending less time together.
Until Eddie stops returning his calls.
He tries not to worry. But one call becomes two, becomes three, and he can't help it. He goes over, dread a knot in his stomach. Eddie opens the door, and he's shirtless with sweatpants slung low on his hips, hair loose and streaming around his shoulders. He looks happy.
"Steve? What are you--"
"You weren't answering my calls, and--can I come in?"
Eddie winces. "It's not a good time, Harrington."
He stands there for a second, stung, not sure what to say.
"Eddie, I--"
"Babe?" A voice calls from inside the apartment. "Who's at the door?"
Steve freezes. Can't think, can't move. He hopes it isn't obvious that his heart is shattering, but Eddie's blinking at him, panic written in the lines gathering on his forehead.
"Steve, Stevie, please," Eddie is saying, but he can't do this. He can't do this.
He walks away, all the way home, numb to everything around him.
The phone's ringing when he gets to the apartment. He ignores it. Goes to his room, locks himself in, crawls into bed.
The phone keeps ringing. He keeps ignoring it.
It isn't supposed to be like this. They weren't dating, weren't trying for a relationship; Eddie's supposed to be his. He curls into himself, sobs until his ribs hurt, until his eyes are as heavy as his heart, and he falls asleep.
--
Steve startles awake, disoriented, to someone knocking on his bedroom door. He has no idea what time it is, how long he slept, but he expects Robin to be waiting in the hall.
It's Eddie. Hair in a messy bun, face flushed, eyes too bright.
"I'm sorry," falls out of Steve's mouth before he can think of anything else.
"Steve, I--I don't--" Eddie shakes his head. "Do you want to be in a relationship with me?"
"Yes," Steve whispers. "But I can't lose you, Eddie."
Eddie reaches out, slender hand, cupping Steve's jaw. "I need you to really listen when I say this, sweetheart. You will never, ever lose me. Not a chance."
"You can't know that," Steve says. Tears break free, cascade down his cheeks. "I used to think who could ever leave me? You know, back before Nancy. But I realized that actually no one would stay. And I can't--with you I can't--"
"Sweetheart," Eddie chokes on a sob. "I'm yours. Have been for years. I will never, ever leave you, no matter what we are to each other. But I can't be in some of a relationship with you. You have me wrapped around your finger, and I--I need it all, Steve."
"I want you to have it, Eddie." He presses his hand to his heart. "This belongs to you, but I--I couldn't survive you leaving."
"I would stay, Steve. I will. I promise on everything I have, everything I am, that you would never, ever lose me."
Steve stumbles into Eddie's arms, totally gone, and their mouths meet in a clumsy kiss. It wrecks Steve, tears him apart, renders him down to his smallest parts only to build him back together. He knows now for certain that there is no one else in the world for him.
They break apart, but don't move out of each other's orbit. "I love you," Steve whispers.
"Stevie, sweetheart, I love you more than anything." His fingers wind their way into Steve's hair, gentle, holding him. "I promise you'll have me for forever--fuck, longer than forever. My soul will find yours wherever we end up. I swear it."
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borathae · 4 months
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"Jungkook is always plagued with guilt when he has to leave you for a business trip. His anxiety that you might be angry at him for not being present is especially high this time around and only your safe embrace can help him calm down."
Pairing: CEO!Jungkook x f.Reader
Genre: married life!AU, mild Hurt & Comfort, Smut
Warnings: Jungkook is anxious, stressed & guilty, he cries, she is so comforting, hugs and kisses, needy sex, sloppy mutual masturbation, handjob, pussy fingering, penetrative sex facing each other, until he pushes her to her back and fucks her missionary, strength & muscle kink, he is so passionate and rough in missionary, I don't think that there are distinctive roles in this, I guess you can call it Top!Jungkook with a Mommy kink, she calls him Bunny at first before he fucks her to the state where she can only call him by his name, dirty talk, sensory deprivation in the sense that they fuck in complete darkness, they're so so desperate for each other, tears because it's so good, multiple orgasms for her, creampies, cockwarming as aftercare, with cuddles and kisses <3, they're fucking soulmates
Wordcount: 5.3k
a/n: i wrote this after kook's solo concert because he did it to me. i also reread THE angst chapter of aaol and i think this influenced me as well. i really want my kookie back
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The plane wasn’t supposed to land this late. The plans were all ruined. 
Jungkook scans his eyes over the kitchen. Empty. Clean. He abandons his suitcase by the stairs leading up and walks to the fridge. He opens it. His heart stings. The plans were all ruined. He wasn’t supposed to come home this late. You made dinner for him. The prettily plated food is still on its original plate for him. You put a glass bowl over it to keep it fresh. 
“Fuck”, Jungkook presses out and closes the fridge. He feels so fucking guilty that he wants to throw up. He should have been there. He should have eaten your food and talked to you during dinner. He should have fucking been there.
You knew that he wouldn’t come home. He was aware that his text came way too late, but he still had hoped that you hadn’t started cooking yet. Of course you had. 
It has been longer than a month since he last was in Seoul and you always cook the grandest things as a welcome home surprise. Jungkook doesn’t expect you to cook, you do it because you want to. Which makes him feel all the shittier right now. He wasn’t there to appreciate it. He had one job - the most important job of all - and he fucking failed you.
Jungkook walks back to his suitcase and lifts it. He will carry it upstairs and then do the laundry tomorrow. He can’t be bothered tonight. It’s already too late. He already wasted too much time being his shitty CEO self.
The dressing room is empty and clean. It faintly smells like lavender in here. He knows it’s because you cleaned this room recently. Jungkook discards the suitcase by the dresser and leaves the room.
He takes a shower in the upstairs bathroom. He didn’t want to go downstairs yet. He is a little scared to do so. He shouldn’t have arrived so late. He is scared of your reaction. He gets so sad when you are disappointed in him. He hasn’t decided yet whether it’s his anxiety disorder talking or the truth, but he thinks that you will be angry at him.
He is angry at himself. He’s a fucking shithead of a husband. That’s what he fucking is. 
Jungkook manages not to cry in the shower even if he really wanted to. His feelings are eating him up alive. He feels so stressed. So tired. So exhausted. Work has been hell. And the fact that it was in a country he barely knew the language of and he had to be without you made it even worse. He feels so drained. 
The shower doesn’t help. It cleans him, nothing more. Jungkook doesn’t put on clothes and leaves for downstairs. He uses the never ending city lights as his guidance. The wind carries the distant purring of the traffic to the windows. The slightly higher pitched pitter patter of his naked feet on marble floor is loud in comparison. The sound stops in sync with Jungkook stopping in front of the bedroom door. 
His hand is shaking. He has to hold it to calm down. He is so scared. You will be so disappointed with him. He wouldn’t even be surprised if you told him to sleep on the couch tonight. You never did so before, but things can change. One month is awfully long and he left you hanging today. He wouldn’t blame you if you sent him away. 
Jungkook takes a shaky breath for courage and steps inside. The room smells like home. Jungkook feels his throat tighten in emotion. This is what home smells like. And he was too late for it. He swallows down his tears and tries to walk it off.
The electric blinds are closed all the way, putting the room into complete darkness. Jungkook uses the light of his phone screen to tiptoe to the bathroom. He still needs to brush his teeth. He does so using his phone’s flashlight as the only light source. He didn’t want to turn on the big lights and risk waking you. Or maybe he didn’t want to look into his own eyes. He can’t bear to face himself tonight.
Jungkook leaves the bathroom door open and tiptoes to the bed. His phone screen gives off enough light that he can see you once he arrives by the bedside. 
You are turned to his side, resting your hand on his blanket. Your cheek is squished as you are sleeping halfway on your stomach. Your lips are parted as soft breaths leave you. Jungkook looks back at your hand resting on his side and gulps down the painful lump in his throat. You shouldn’t have had to fall asleep alone tonight. You shouldn’t have had only his memory to hold.
Jungkook picks up your hand so he could slip under the covers. You react to the gentle nudge with a hum.
“Mhm”, you let out and roll over, now showing off your back.
Jungkook is aware that you didn’t do it on purpose, but it feels like it. You turned your back to him and it’s his own fault. 
Jungkook tugs the blanket under his arm and touches your back. Up and down. Up and down. He feels you breathe. Your warmth is so familiar to him. He missed it so much. 
He missed you so much.
His eyes start burning.
“I’m sorry”, he whispers shakily and turns his back to you. He can’t face you anymore. It hurts so much. He squeezes his eyes shut and tries not to cry. 
The sheets ruffle as you move around again. Jungkook doesn’t feel the movement because you and he have separate mattresses and separate blankets to get the best sleep ever. You shared a mattress and blanket at first, but decided to upgrade your bed a year ago. Jungkook likes his mattress firm and his blanket thin, while you love to have a softer mattress and your blanket to be thick. And the little mattress movements as one of you rolled around or the blanket wars which once managed to wake you are gone as well. Changing one mattress and blanket for two was the best decision ever. You and he sleep like royalty these days.
Jungkook hears the sheets ruffle as you move around and then the sound of a hand sliding over soft sheets. Warmth touches his back. He tenses up, stays silent. You draw paths along his back, feeling him up. Seeing him. Just like he did all those years ago when you were still masked soulmates aching to be together. It became a little thing between you and him to trace the other in darkness as to make out if it was your other half. You became so good at it these days.
Your touch dances up to the nape of his neck after exploring his upper back. Jungkook shivers and aches to lean into your touch. He is scared to do so now. He already waited for too long to speak up. You’ll know that he is intentionally acting asleep to avoid talking to you.
You close the distance, taking him into your arms to pull him against your chest. You are propped up on your elbow, using the position to nuzzle your face into the crook of his neck so you could kiss him.  
Jungkook exhales shakily, releasing all of his tension with a tremble. This just broke him. To be cradled and kissed. It broke him.
“Are you awake?” you whisper softly. The words swirl against his neck.
He nods his head.
“Sorry, did I wake you?”
He hesitates. Should he be truthful? Will you be hurt if he was? 
He shakes his head. He can’t lie to you. Not like this. Not when you hold him so safely. Not when you have broken him with your embrace. 
“Why didn’t you say something?”
“I’m sorry”, he presses out and sobs softly.
“Hey”, you gasp, straightening up, “hey, are you crying? What’s wrong?” you babble and roll him to his back so you could cradle his cheeks. You wipe his tears away, keeping close by resting your chest against his’, “what’s wrong, Bunny?” 
“I’m sorry for tonight. I’m so sorry for being late and, and not showing up. I’m so fucking sorry.”
“It’s okay, hey it’s okay. It wasn’t your fault. The flight was delayed. You couldn’t have known.”
“I saw the food”, he confesses and squeaks sadly, “I didn’t show up, I’m so sorry. I should have texted sooner, I should have-”
“How could you have texted me sooner if you didn’t even know that the flight would be delayed?” 
Jungkook falters. He sniffles repeatedly, taking sharp gasps for air to regulate his breathing. What you say makes sense to him. He didn’t even think of it yet, despite it being the most logical explanation. So it was his anxiety disorder kicking in. 
You caress his left cheek while your right hand guides your pointer finger up and down along the bridge of his nose. You call this touch your magic touch because there is some sort of magic in it to calm down any sort of anxiety Jungkook experiences. Jungkook flutters his eyes closed and sighs as comfort overtakes him.
“Now tell me how you should have texted me sooner, mhm?” you ask in a soft, comforting voice.
“I don’t know”, Jungkook whispers.
“Of course you don’t, it’s impossible. The flight was delayed. It was an unfortunate series of events and not your fault”, you assure him, “unless you intentionally stayed away. Mhm is that it? Did you not wanna see me already, you sneaky Bunny?” you add in a joking tone, making Jungkook giggle.
He shakes his head, “no Mommy, I wanted to see you.”
“Good”, you say in a fond voice and claim his lips in a smooch. 
Jungkook gasps because he hadn’t expected it. The feeling finally seeps into his consciousness. He is kissing you. After thirty three days without you, he is finally kissing you again. Jungkook whimpers and hooks his fingers behind your head, deepening the kiss with trembling lips. He is kissing you again. He is finally realizing that this is happening, that he is back with you. He hooks his arms behind your head and pulls you closer, asking for your taste. You part your lips and meet his begging tongue, while your fingers explore the softness of his hair.
You feel a little dizzy from sleep. You didn’t have the deepest sleep tonight because you knew that Jungkook would come home and you subconsciously refused to find deep sleep. So when Jungkook got into bed, the rustling of his blanket woke you. The pull was instant. You needed to feel him, make sure that he was finally with you again. Your body didn’t expect to be in the current position for such a long time. Your arms are weak and your head is dizzy.
You break the kiss because exhaustion makes you do it.
Jungkook chases you, rolling you and him over so he was the one on top. His right arm rests around you just a little under your breasts, his left hand is cradling your cheek while his right hand is deepening in your hair as best as your texture allows it. He claims your lips in a kiss again, whimpering into it as his body seeks your closeness. Two layers of blanket are keeping you apart. Jungkook doesn’t think, he merely acts and pulls his blanket off of him. Next your blanket. He opens it and slides his arm under it. He takes you softly in his hand and presses you against him at the same time as his body sinks under your blanket. He trembles. It is so warm under your covers and from what he can feel, you are wearing one of his sleep shirts. He grabs a bundle of it and twists, needing you to be so much closer than you already are. 
“Please”, he begs in a shaky voice, tugging at your shirt.
You sit up far enough that you can take off your shirt. You throw it to the side and fall back down.
“Thank you”, Jungkook whimpers and cradles you against his chest. He buries his face in the crook of your neck and places his right hand on the back of your head to support it for you.
You wrap your arms around him, letting out a sigh you didn’t even know you were holding in. You have him back. This is how your Jungkook hugs. Thirty three days without him are unbearably long. So long in fact that your skin started to unwillingly forget the warmth and softness of him. It comes rushing back again now that you are hugging without barriers.
“___”, Jungkook croaks and presses you closer, “oh god.” 
“I missed you too”, you whisper, burying your hand deep in his hair. You pull him closer. Your breasts squish against his chest, the pressure feels like heaven. It gets easier to breathe and releases you of tension you didn’t even know you possessed. You have your Jungkook back. 
Jungkook feels overwhelmed. He ached for your hug ever since he left. Thirty three days without you were hell. You are his constant in his life. When he comes home from work, you are there, hugging him and talking to him and falling asleep with him. When he leaves for work, you are right by his side, talking to him and kissing his cheek as he drops you off at university. When he has free time, he knows he can spend it with you. You are always there. You are his constant. The person who will always be by his side. The warmth he can always return to. So to go without you for more than a month was hell. 
“I missed you so much”, he confesses. 
“Me too, Bunny. Me too.”
You felt just as lonely without him. Years ago, you wouldn’t have batted an eye at the thought of being along for a month, but Jungkook changed you in the most wonderful of ways. He is your person, the comfort you most look forward to, the home you never want to leave. You have him by your side in the morning and have him back again by the evening. You share the last second of consciousness with him before sleep and share the first right after. And for the last month, you didn’t. You had to live without him and it was agony. 
“Closer”, Jungkook begs, “I wanna be closer.”
“Closer?” 
“Closer please.”
“Lie down on your side.” 
Jungkook obeys, keeping his arms around you. You seek him and slide your hand to his length. You brush your fingers over his tip, eliciting a trembling gasp from him. A small whimper follows. 
“This kind of closer?”
“Yes”, he squeaks and grabs whatever he can of your upper back. 
“I missed this feeling. You’re so soft.”
“I missed you too. Ah please.”
“Kook…”
“Can I-”
“Yes.”
His left hand naturally dances down your body, trying to locate your clit. You drape your leg around him, giving him access. He connects his fingers with your heat, sending electricity through you.
“Holy fuck, I’m sensitive”, you get out and moan. You take his cock and begin jerking it. He grows hard rapidly. Just as you soak his fingers at a rapid speed. You want him. He wants you. Too long you had to go without each other.
“Me too. Ah mhm”, he gets out and buries two of his fingers inside you. 
“Bunny….”
“Mommy…”
You cradle his cheek, rub your thumb over his face and stub his nose with your own. Your hands work desperately between your bodies, the tension is growing embarrassingly fast. 
“Bunny, I missed you so much”, you keen and squeeze your eyes shut. It feels so good. His long fingers are filling you up while his thumb is rubbing circles on your clit. He is so sloppy and needy in his touch, which makes it all the better.
“Me too, Mommy”, Jungkook gets out and whimpers, “oh god.” 
Your hand is fast around his cock. You are calculated on normal days, but not tonight. There is no coordination in how you touch him, just pure and honest desperation. 
“I don’t wanna cum like this”, you croak.
“Close?”
“Yeah, it’s fucking stupid. Fuck”, you slide your hand to his hair so you could twist.
Jungkook moans, tilting his head back all on his own while his pouty lips brush against yours. You kiss without really kissing. Just featherlight touches, tickling moans and traces of your tongues. The tension between you and him becomes unbearable. You clench down on his fingers, feeling his cock throb in your hold.
“Bunny, I need your cock.”
“I need your pussy too, Mommy.”
“Good. Take out your fingers.”
Jungkook obeys, touching your hip instead. Neither of you care about the wet mess he leaves on your skin. It’s just another proof that you and he are finally reconnected again.
“Good boy”, you praise and shimmy down just a little so you can take his cock inside. There is no friction, no struggle, no pain. Just warmth and overwhelming pleasure.
“Holy fuck”, you whisper and push him in deeper. Past your entrance. Your warm walls engulf him.
Jungkook grabs you and accidentally scratches you. He couldn’t help it. He is with you again. No one feels like you. No one does.
“Ah!” the sound bounces off the walls. He trembles and pulls you closer, “Mommy.”
“Bunny.”
“Oh god, I’m home”, he whimpers and starts chasing you. 
Your leg is still around him, his thrusts go so deep like this. You are so filled up with him, so stuffed. You are eye to eye even if the complete darkness prevents you from seeing each other. But you don’t need light to see each other. Not you and not Jungkook. You have your hands and fingertips to see. You started it back in the stuffy sex club room you met in and perfected it over the years in your loving home. You know exactly how he looks right now and in return he knows as well.
“Bunny, oh god, my Jungkookie”, you get out and shake, pulling him closer by his hair. The darkness makes it feel all the more intense as you claim his lips in a passionate tongue kiss. The sounds of it mix with the desperate rutting your hips are doing. The rustling of the sheets is audible as well, as are the needy moans both of you choke out constantly. 
You are hot under the covers. Sweat has formed on the parts where you are pressed together. You pull each other closer regardless, basking in the heat because you had to live without it for far too long. This is the only way to melt with each other.
“I love you”, Jungkook gets out and kisses you again.
“-love- too”, is all you get out between your hungry kisses, but Jungkook knows regardless. Even without words he would know. From your kisses, your embrace and the way your pussy is convulsing around him. Jungkook knows every ridge, every bump, every inch of how you feel inside and being allowed to experience it right now is the only proof of love he needs. He is the man who you allowed to go in raw, even back when you pretended not to care. You claimed him and sealed his sweetest fate. You loved him enough that you wanted to be without barriers and you love him enough that you welcome him home right now.
“You feel so good”, you moan and rut against him before your lips suck on his lower lip needily.
Jungkook whimpers, spilling tears of ecstasy. He fucks into you, feeling his legs shake. He is so high on you.
This is fucking for the sake of reconnecting. This is emotional. Deeply, soul-consumingly emotional. Is it kinky? No. Will either of you last long? No. Will it stay in your minds as one of the most intense nights ever? Yes. Yes it fucking will. This is the kind of desperate, needy, passionate sex you can only have after you have been without each other for a long time. It is dumb. It is raw. It is carnal and it is the only good thing which comes out of having to be without the other. Because no amount of foreplay, kink or fetish will ever get you to the level of starvation than forced distance does.
And you are starving. Oh, you are parched and aching for each other. Jungkook fucks you as hard as he can, while you rut against him as roughly as you can. It results in these deep, fiery thrusts, which fills you with all his cock and in return makes him experience every inch of your pussy. 
You are burning up today. You are hot around him, as if you had a fever. Jungkook can barely breathe because of it, gasping for air between his desperate moaning. And you are soaking wet. Soft too. So soft. Jungkook scratches down your back and pulls you closer. His left hand cups your buttock and stills your hips this way. He pushes. The kiss breaks with your needy moan. You roll to your back just enough that Jungkook can prop himself up on his right elbow and use the angle to finally bottom out. Truly bottom out because the position finally gives him a chance to do so. Your leg is still around him, while the other is under his weight. You can feel his sculpted thigh shift and tense as he fucks you. His thrusts are sloppy and so perfectly uncoordinated that they seem coordinated. The mattress shakes because of it. 
You barely feel it because he is currently fucking the senses out of you. This is the kind of fuck which reminds you why he managed to steal your heart and the proof of why you could never want to leave him. It genuinely fucks every sense of control out of you and turns you into the neediest, wettest pillow princess in existence. Tonight it impacts you especially deeply, leaving you to arch your back and curl your toes.
“Bunny”, you moan embarrassingly high pitched, throwing your head back as best as possible while Jungkook shows off the strength of his hips, “Bunny, oh god. Ah Bunny.” 
“Mommy. So good, ah Mommy”, Jungkook moans and drops his head into the crook of your neck. He pulls you closer until your head rests on his right lower arm and you have his biceps brushing against your nose. The gentle headlock he has you in heals you from aches you didn’t even possess before. You are so safe like this. He smells hot. As if he is burning up.
“Bunny…”
You are burning up yourself, grasping his broad, muscular back as your only connection to sanity. He is making you cum and it’s happening soon.
“Don’t stop, please”, you beg.
“Mommy”, he moans and continues because he won’t ever ignore one of your begs. You don’t beg often, so when you do, Jungkook is overtaken with the need to fulfill your every wish. Which means a lot because he always wants to fulfill your every wish.
“You’re making me cum”, you choke out and sob softly as you hug him against you.
“Holy fuck”, Jungkook gets out and squeezes you strongly as your body falls into the high. You are so tight around him, burning up and throbbing. No wonder you are sobbing. Jungkook has to grit his teeth from how intense your orgasm feels to him and he isn’t even the one experiencing it. And there is one problem right now. He still needs it longer. He doesn’t know if he is holding back because he is greedy for more or if his body is just working this way right now, but he isn’t done even when you are already coming down. He needs more. He wants you longer.
You are soaking his cock, pulsating around him as you slowly recover and it’s fucking messing with him. He needs you. He needs you so bad.
Jungkook uses his strength and rolls you onto your back completely. His cock leaves you for a second, but you barely feel the disconnection as the darkness and your passed high leave you disoriented. Your legs are spread open, giving Jungkook a chance to take his cock and push it inside again.
Now you feel it. Now you’re whole again. You whimper, tensing up around him.
“Not done yet”, he rasps with his hand twisting the pillow next to your head. He bottoms out and chases you instantly. Fast and hard. He fucks the juices out of you, filling the air with the sounds of it just as he fills it with the sinful sounds of his naked body impacting with yours. The bed is sturdy and yet still croaks. His throaty grunts and guttural growls fill your ears as well. You know for a fact that he is frowning right now, gritting his teeth because he always does so when he fucks hard.
“Ju-Ju-Jungkook”, he fucks his name out of you. He is fucking his cock right against the spots which steal your sanity. You can’t stop getting wetter because of it. Every second with him feels fucking orgasmic, “Jungkook! Ah! Jungkook!”
You grip his arm. His muscles are so tense, bulging under your fingers as he drills you like an animal.
“Jun-Ju-Jungkoo-ook.” 
“Yeah, keep moaning my name Mommy”, he growls deeply and curses, “fuck, this is…fuck.”
“Jungkook, ah god Jungkook.”
“That’s it, Mommy. That’s it, keep moaning my name”, he encourages you and rewards you with harsher thrusts. Of course this wasn’t his final form yet. Not Jungkook. Not your husband. He will make you believe that the sex couldn’t get any better before showing you not to underestimate him. He fucks you deep into the mattress just as he fucks you deep into a blurred state of ecstasy.
You are utterly and entirely his right now. And you fucking like it, moaning his name as he rewrites your definition of pleasure one harsh thrust at a time. 
“I missed you”, he is using his deep voice to talk, “I thought of you, urgh, of you being mhm being cockstuffed with me, ah mhm I’m going crazy, Mommy. Fuck.” 
He could tell you everything right now and you would barely take it in. Your brain doesn’t work. You are so dumb right now. So utterly stupid. If you weren’t on your back, you would have drooled. Instead you sob his name and writhe desperately.
“Fuck”, Jungkook spits and growls. His hips stutter for only a second. This is how long he needs to find his composure again and then he is already drilling you again, pushing your body closer and closer to your orgasms, “have to go again?”
“Ye-yeah”, you keen, arching your back.
“Let go Mommy, I’m right here”, he tells you and cradles your cheek.
The touch is all that was missing. You break apart with a loud moan of his name and your fingers desperately twisting his hair. He fucked it out of you from the deepest parts of you, which makes it all the more intense. You can’t even moan as it happens. His name was all you managed to produce before your voice gave up on you. You can’t breathe either, lying there with your lips parted and your back arched as Jungkook drags heaven out of you.
Your second high gives him a hard time. The needy fucking he did brought him to the point where he has to let go even if he wanted to hold back longer. His cock aches, his balls feel tight and the tension in his stomach has reached a painful level. While your lungs aren’t working right now, his’ are working overtime, producing the neediest, quickest pants for air. He takes a deep breath and exhales it through his mouth, dropping his head into the crook of your neck.
“I’m gonna cum inside”, he moans in a pitched voice. His hips stutter, but don’t lose speed, “gonna creampie your pussy so hard. Holy fuck, Mommy.”
You wrap your legs around him, closing your arms around him as well while your left hand buries itself deep in his hair and your right grabs his tense ass. You are barely present yet, but the need to feel him paint your walls gives you enough strength to pull him close.
“I love you”, he chokes out and lets go. He isn’t silent like you were. He is loud. Oh so loud that after a few seconds he needs to muffle himself by sucking on your neck.
“I love you too”, you whimper, “my loving counterpart.”
“Oh”, he sobs and pulls you closer, “my soulmate”, he squeaks and tenses up again, “no-not done. Ah!”
“Let it all out, fill me up Bunny. Please don’t hold back.”
Jungkook paints you white until it drips out of you and his body’s strength forsakes him. The comedown is intense. Because Jungkook never stopped fucking you even after your high stopped, you never got to calm down and because Jungkook fucked himself to the point of ruin he feels just as needing for your embrace.
“Are you okay?” he whimpers.
“Yeah. You?” you get out.
“Yeah.”
He shivers and twitches on top of you, blanketing you in under his body weight and the real covers. They slipped off his back in the rough fucking so that now, they are only covering your lower bodies. You don’t feel cold because you have him keeping you warm.
Neither you nor him can talk for the first few minutes, sharing forced silence as your brains try to relearn how to speak. His ears are ringing, you can feel your pulse in your head. You are both sweaty, the heat grows in your bodies now that you are so melted together. His cock softens slowly, still filling you up and keeping most of his seed inside. Good. You don’t want him to leave yet.
You finally have him back after more than a month and you would be a fool to break the connection sooner than necessary. You know that sooner or later you will have to stop this. Not only because of your important post-sex pee, but also because Jungkook can’t fall asleep like this.
At least this is what you believe. Jungkook is in the midst of drifting off to sleep. Jetlag, stress and exhaustion are finally catching up with him. Now that his mind is cleared of that initial dulling desire for you, it is finally truly sinking in that he is back home. And being back home means comfort and sleep. Still being inside and having you cockwarm him while your fingers are drawing hearts on his back forces even more sleepiness to the surface. He is home. Sleep can finally come.
“Bunny?” you whisper, scratching up his back gently. Goosebumps follow your touch. He shudders as you drag shivers out of him.
“Hm”, the sound barely wants to leave him. It tickles your neck.
“Are you falling asleep?”
He nods his head slowly.
“Don’t”, you chuckle softly, shaking him by his back gently, “the post sex pee.”
“I’m tired”, he breathes and sighs, “so tired. Work…hell.”
“I know, Bunnybaby I know. But spending your break from it having an UTI is gonna suck.”
“Not yet. Please.”
You give up fighting him, exhaling deeply through your nose. He sounds so needing of what you currently have. You need it as well. 
“Fine”, you say and fish for the blanket to pull it over your bodies, “a few more minutes.”
You hug him against you, cradling the back of his head. Jungkook sighs and relaxes on top of you.
“I fucking missed you, Kook.”
“I missed you too.”
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naughtyjjk · 6 months
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jjk men when they're turned on in public
characters: gojo, geto, nanami, toji | fem reader warnings: smut, dry humping, teasing, dirty talk, blowjob they just can't help themselves sometimes... and it doesn't matter that they're in public
GOJO... the first sign is that he gets really clingy. it happens slowly throughout the day until he’s basically leaning onto you and whining nonstop about how much he wants you, how badly he needs it. if you try to ignore him, he moves to stand close to you and starts humping you over his clothes, doing anything to relieve himself­ even a little bit. “come on, baby,” he practically begs. “let me fuck you… i’m so hard for you already. you know i can make you feel good.” and of course you know; he’s good at sex, just like he’s good at everything else. still, you try to tell him not here, not in public, but he’s relentless and it’s so tempting. he kisses your neck, licks your ear, fondles your chest, and—eventually, you can't help but give in. it’s so fucking hard to resist when you can feel his cock twitching in his pants, rubbing against you. the two of you find a nearby hotel and he doesn’t waste any time in taking off your clothes and pinning you down on the bed. “mm, finally… i've wanted this all day…”
GETO… it’s obvious when he’s turned on because he starts touching you everywhere, hands roaming all over your body and getting more daring as time passes. he hugs you from behind. he "accidently" brushes against your breasts. he grabs your ass as he walks next to you. whenever this happens, you want to tell him to stop, but his touches are always so warm, and they feel so good. he knows every one of your most sensitive spots and he’s not afraid to put this knowledge to use. secretly, you love when he gets all touchy, like he can’t get enough of your body. eventually, when he can’t take it anymore, he leads the two of you into an empty alleyway and makes you bend over, pulling his pants down and thrusting his cock into you. one hand cups your breasts, pinching the nipple, and the other hand covers your mouth. “shh,” he says when your moaning becomes too loud. “i know, baby. it feels good, but you have to be quiet, otherwise people will hear. or do you want everyone to know how well you take my cock?”
NANAMI… he’s usually a private person and keeps these things in the bedroom, but when he does get all hot and bothered in public, it’s because of you. while the two of you spend a day out together, you keep teasing him and pushing his limits simply because you love watching him try to hold himself back—it’s fucking hot. so you dress in revealing clothing, you hint at the dirty things you want to do with him. he maintains a pretty good poker face most of the time, but you can tell that he’s not immune to your seductive tactics by the way he looks at you, gaze darkening with desire over time. it’s not long before he gives in. when the two of you move to sit down, he pulls you onto his lap and grinds against your ass, letting you feel how hard he’s become. he whispers in your ear, “you’re such a naughty girl, aren’t you? it’s like you’re just asking to be punished…” and you know that he’s going to get his revenge by the time you get home.
TOJI… oh boy, he’s completely shameless. he won’t be subtle about it at all, and he wants you to know exactly how horny he is. it doesn’t matter where you are—in line to get food, at the movie theatre, walking around. he won’t hesitate to take your hand and guide it down his body to feel his hard dick over his pants, smirking at you. he makes a point to moan and whisper dirty fantasies to you any chance he gets, watching you get more and more riled up. his goal is to make you turned on too, so aroused that you forget where you are and make the first move. at a restaurant, you’re supposed to be sharing a nice meal together, but you somehow find yourself crawling under the table and unzipping his pants, pulling out his cock to suck him off. you can hear him talking to the waitress as if nothing’s wrong, far too composed. but when he finally stutters, breath hitching and holding back a moan, satisfaction settles in you. he pushes you away before it gets too dangerous and you return to your seat. he tells you, “as much as i would love to spill into your mouth, i want to come inside you today. how about you meet me in the bathroom?” he doesn’t wait for you to answer, getting up and heading toward the back of the restaurant. you follow him, of course. in the end, he returns the favour and fucks you hard in one of the stalls.
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babyleostuff · 5 months
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COSMOPOLITAN | KIM MINGYU
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18+ minors dni
word count | 2k
warnings | not proofread, subby and very needy reader, dom gyu, degradation (whore/slut), slight daddy kink, pet names (baby/princess), minor dacryphilia
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“what are you smirking at?” mingyu asked from behind the counter, busy with preparing dinner. he was dressed in a black tank top, grey sweatpants, and an apron you got for him for his birthday - nothing out of the ordinary. 
normally you’d drool over how gorgeous he was, how his strong arms flexed under the weight of the pans and pots, how his melanin skin was glowing in the afternoon sun, and how his short hair made him ten times hotter, but the recent pictures from the cosmopolitan photoshoot took all of your attention away from him. 
mingyu looked over your phone, and laughed. “you know i’m right here, right?” you nodded your head and bit your lip, not really listening to the man before you, busy scrolling through twitter and saving every picture you came upon. 
“how are you even real?” you whispered, staring at the photo where you could see part of his back. "wait, is that why you told me to keep my hands to myself that night? so i wouldn't scratch you?" you looked up at mingyu in confusion, just to find him already staring back at you.
“we both know how my back looks like after i fuck you, baby,” he smiled innocently and leaned over the kitchen counter to press a kiss to your lips. 
you shifted in your seat, immediately feeling the wetness between your legs. his nonchalance and confidence, the fact that he knew exactly how he affected you, made you want to throw everything off the counter to show him how much you loved and hated him for how beautiful he was. 
scrolling to the next photo where you could see his exposed chest, his skin smooth and silky, you smiled to yourself because you knew it was usually covered in your hickeys. that's right, only you knew what it felt like to run your lips over mingyu’s body, how sensitive his nipples were, and what beautiful sounds he made when you got close to his big cock.
“let me know when you’re done drooling over the pictures so we can have dinner,” your man suddenly pulled you out of your thoughts. you looked at him like he was crazy, your eyes unconsciously landing on his perfect ass.
"i don't know if you've noticed, but dinner is the last thing i want to eat right now."
mingyu turned around and laughed at your pouting face. "baby, they're just photos. i literally look the same right now as i do in them," he walked around the counter and cupped your face in his large and warm hands, tilting your head up so you could look at him. “would you stop sulking and eat dinner with me?” you sighed, taking in his puppy eyes that he knew you couldn’t resist. 
you nodded your head and pecked his cheek, as he helped you down from the stool you were sitting on. “go and wash your hands, and i’ll get everything ready,’ you patted his chest. 
mingyu disappeared into the bathroom for a moment, leaving you alone in the kitchen with the ramen he made and thoughts swarming your mind. 
"what are you thinking about?" you suddenly felt familiar arms tighten around your waist, his hard chest pressed against your back, trapping you between his body and the counter. “what do you think?” you huffed, but it quickly turned into a sigh as mingyu trailed his lips along the sensitive part of your neck.
“did my baby get wet just because of a couple of photos?” he murmured and you nodded, not bothered by the fact that you should feel embarrassed about getting turned on so easily. you knew it was better to be obedient with mingyu. 
“and what should i do about it, hm?” he whispered into your ear, as he lazily rubbed his thumb over your lower tummy. “gyu, please,” you sighed and threw your head back, so it rested on his shoulder.
you felt his chest move as he laughed, and you were sure that if you tilted your head just a little you would see that your boyfriend’s puppy eyes were gone, but you were way too focused on his hand to move. 
"my little stupid baby wants my cock because I showed a bit of skin in a photoshoot," mingyu cooed, as his other hand slowly lifted your top up, revealing your breasts and nipples, which were already waiting for his warm mouth to wrap around them.
but he didn't do anything further, you could only feel his hot breath on your neck.
"use," kiss. "your," kiss. "words," his lips bruised over the nape of your neck with each word, making your toes curl. "or i'll leave you like this, desperate to be fucked, with wet panties, and empty holes.”
you whined at his words and unconsciously rubbed your butt against his hips and you felt that you weren't the only one who was horny. “you won't get my mouth on your pussy, and you definitely won't get my cock if you act like this," your chest quickly rose and fell with each breath, as you struggled to produce any coherent words.
your mind was mush and you had problems thinking straight, but you knew you wouldn’t survive if mingyu left you like that. 
“i want… i n-need your hand," you moaned. "where? show me baby," you grabbed mingyu's free hand and guided him to your breast and squeezed tightly. normally it would hurt you, but now the pain felt like salvation. "your m-mouth," you then grabbed the back of his head and tried to guide him to your nipple that was practically begging for his mouth.
mingyu, as if he knew exactly what you were asking for, squeezed your breast even tighter and began to circle your other nipple with his tongue. "and your o-other hand," you sighed, grabbing his hand that was still resting on your stomach, lowering it to your pussy. 
“now fuck me,” you thought.
"you know what, i think i'm bored of this,” he said, as if his hand wasn't just circling your clit in torturously slow circles. “let's eat dinner," the moment mingyu said it all the air left your lungs, and you wanted nothing more but to fall on your knees in front of him and beg him to fuck you, but all you could manage was a begging moan.
you gripped the back of mingyu’s head tighter as he continued to lick your nipple like a lollipop, but you knew that no matter how much force you used, you had no chance against him. 
you were like a rag doll to him, like a toy he could push around.
“please m-mingyu,” you pushed your hips harder against his hand for more friction and almost cried out when you felt him pinch your clit. "you're just a slut who just wants to get fucked, right?" he chuckled, going back to rubbing slow circles around your clit. “y-yes g-gyu, i am. i'm your slut,” you moaned as you felt his fingers at your entrance. you grabbed his wrist to hurry him up, but he didn't move even an inch. "great, then you need to be fucked hard, whore."
you let out a tearful moan as you suddenly felt him remove his fingers from your cunt, but not before he collected your wetness. “open your mouth, princess,” you immediately did as mingyu told you and a second later you were politely sucking on his two thick fingers like an obedient girl. 
“good girl,” he murmured, looking you straight in the eyes.
he pulled them out after a while with a loud "pop" and your lips continued to follow them for a moment as if you wanted to continue sucking them. "another time, baby. remember, i have to fuck you now,” mingyu caressed your cheek gently, as you pouted at him, and started pulling his black tank top over his head.
“tell me honestly, baby,” he said and you continued undressing him. your fingers quickly found the bow of the apron behind his back and you had no trouble untying it. 
"if i wasn't at home, would you touch yourself tonight because of these photos? would you imagine my tongue in your pussy? would you ride your pillow, imagining it was my cock? would you have to bite your lip, imaging it was my shoulder, like you do when you don't want the neighbors to know how well i fuck you?"
a soft sigh left your lips and you had to put your hand on mingyu's chest to keep from falling. “my poor princess,” he muttered, brushing your hair away from your face. one of his hands rested on your waist and the other moved down to your ass, pulling you closer to his body.
his hard cock was pressing into your stomach and you knew he needed you as much as you needed him, only he was better at hiding it. you whined like a child and grabbed the waistband of his pants, pulling them off of him in one move. 
"good job, baby. now i can finally fuck your greedy pussy," he smiled like it was some kind of game. honestly, for him it probably was. without any warning, he suddenly leaned you forward so that your chest was lying on the counter, your cheek and tits against the cold granite, contrasting with the warmth of the hand mingyu had on your ass. 
"look at you. you're leaking," he ran his hand down your back. "so what, you expect me to clean up after you afterwards, right?" suddenly you felt him pulling your hair, hard enough to lift your head off the counter. "answer me slut."
“n-no, daddy, i'll clean it up myself later,” he laughed, tugging at your hair again as if he was enjoying your discomfort. "good slut." 
as if you were nothing more than his toy, mingyu grabbed your hips roughly and lifted you up so that his cock was touching your ass and you had no choice but to stand on your tiptoes. "this hole probably wants me to fill it with my cum too, but that's for another day, yeah baby?” he asked, running his cock over your puckered hole.
“now your tight pussy needs to get what it deserves," and without any warning, in one quick move his thick cock entered your cunt.
you moaned loudly, closing your eyes from the mind-blowing feeling, mixed with pain, but you didn't care - nothing could compare to the feeling of mingyu's cock stretching your pussy. “f-fuck, baby,” he groaned, pressing his hips harder against yours. "i love your little pussy."
"daddy, p-please move!" you cried, turning your head to look at him, as your cunt sucked him in deeper. 
as if he hadn't fucked you in months, mingyu grabbed your hips and started thrusting in and out of you hard and fast, so that your tits were sliding against the counter with every movement and you had no choice but to let your boyfriend fuck you. you couldn't see his face, but you were sure he was biting his lip and his eyebrows were furrowed in concentration.
the sound of his balls slapping against your pussy and the squelching sound of your cunt, mixed with your moans and cries filled your kitchen, and there was no point in trying to muffle the noise anymore. 
"my pussy." "i love when my little princess lets me fuck her like that." "tight and warm, a perfect fuck for my cock."
mingyu was starting to babble and you knew he was close too. his movements were getting sloppier, but you were sure you’d be left with bruises from how tightly he was holding you, his finger digging into your flesh. tears were rolling down your cheeks, and you could feel your wetness making a mess between your bodies and surely on the floor too, but you couldn’t care less. 
holding you with one hand so you wouldn't fall, his other slipped between your bodies and he quickly found your clit. “mingyu,” you moaned for the hundredth time that afternoon, grabbing his hand to make him rub your clit faster.
"come on. cum on my cock, my princess," with one last stroke and a light pinch to your clit, you felt a wave of warmth wash over you, as your pussy clenched mercilessly on his cock. mingyu moaned loudly and came a second later.
after a moment, he gently grabbed your bruised hips, turning you to face him. he ran his hands up your thighs and brushed your hair away from your face. "but really, honey? it's all because of a few photos?" he smiled as if he hadn't just fucked you until you couldn't sit up straight.
“what can I do about it,” you shrugged, nuzzling into his bare chest. "I simply have the most handsome boyfriend in the world."
mingyu chuckled, his arms wrapping around you in a warm hug. "do you know what your most handsome boyfriend in the world wants now?" you shook your head in amusement, looking at him. 
"eat dinner, watch a movie and fall asleep in the arms of the most beautiful girl in the world."
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thatfreshi · 8 months
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Can I request an Astarion x reader fic where the reader keeps getting hit on/cat called by random people, and she brushes it off at first but it slowly becomes evident that it really bothers her, and needs someone to intervene or comfort her?
TW - Sexual harassment, threat of kidnapping
Recommended Song: Used - SZA FT. Don Toliver
Ah taverns, such wondrous places of inebriation and sloppy people of all creeds. You and Astarion are party people, despite his introverted nature. It's more about being two people thriving in chaos, playing the other patrons like pawns to make the night exciting, flirting with a stranger to snatch their drink from the bar, and all of those morally grey things. Sure, maybe it's not ethical to steal, but it sure is fun.
It's not a secret that you are two of the most good-looking regulars, but it's also well-known that you're severely monogamous. In fact, it's gotten very close to voyeurism multiple times, which has gotten you kicked out of a couple places. You don't mind public displays of affection, even if they're a little far gone at times. All of that to say, it's hard not to notice when you arrive.
Ever since the death of Cazador, you've been living in luxury. Despite rejecting ascension, Astarion didn't mind getting his hands all over the stockpile of gold and jewels the Szarrs had at their estate. After all, you'd say he deserves it. It's almost like being nobility, adorned in gorgeous clothing amongst the common people, and yet you fit in quite well. This rich adornment came with tight-fitting gowns, gorgeous lace pieces, corsets of the highest quality. Those also didn't go unnoticed, but this night in particular some people crossed the line.
You and Astarion brought your own bottle of wine to start the evening, something to get you loose enough to put up with whatever was on tap. Occasionally you'd befriend some strangers, just for the evening. Astarion had a bad habit of making jokes about his vampirism, so you often avoided speaking to the same people again in case they'd look past his sarcasm.
This night in particular you'd come across quite the fun group, and you'd kindly shared some of your wine with them, which was a most rare occurrence. Soon enough you ran out, and Astarion offered to grab something else for the table.
"I'll be right back darling."
He has a habit of disappearing in most circles, but he's always nearby when it comes to you, especially in a place like this. Of course he's protective of you, all you truly have is each other. He'll walk to the bar and purchase a new bottle, keeping eyes, or at least ears on you the entire time he's away. Perks of loving an elf, as his heightened senses have come in handy multiple times.
"Well, that man of yours certainly is something."
A human man comments from across the table, taking a sip of your fancy wine.
"I know."
You smirk, taking a sip of your drink.
"I can't imagine he's all that in the bedroom though."
You almost spit out your wine, surprised by the audacity of this complete stranger.
"I'm sorry, but who are you?"
"Just someone who thinks you could do better."
"And what makes you say that?"
"Well, I could bed you for a change."
You almost want to throw up at how bold this man is being. Instead of dragging the conversation on any further, you grab your drink and go to stand up, trying to eye Astarion from across the room. The tavern was awfully busy, far more than usual. After realizing he was nowhere in sight, you move to make your way to the bar. Suddenly, there's a hand in your hair, yanking you back.
"Well that's no way to treat a nice young man, now is it?"
This human snarls in your ear. No one seems to notice the situation, as the crowd is bustling. It's not often you get scared of random tavern goers, but this man is far more handsy than others.
"Unhand me."
You go to grab for the knife hidden under the slit of your dress, realizing you forgot to grab it on the way out. Of course, tonight of all nights. Realizing you were trying to grab for a weapon, the human twists your wrist behind your back, making you yelp in pain.
Astarion had a hard time hearing that night because of all the overlapping conversation, but that sound was all he needed for his ears to perk up and for him to abandon his drink mission. He has a keen sense for knowing when you're in danger.
"Adorable, you think you're that strong huh?"
He goes to feel where you reached for your knife, lingering on your leg a little too long. Then, he freezes.
"Excuse me sir, could you show me where your pulse is in your neck? Make sure your blood's still pumping?"
Astarion has his dagger in hand behind your attacker. The human starts shaking, and slowly creeps his hand off of your leg and onto his neck.
"Very good. Now, if you'd like to keep that precious sustenance pumping through your veins and don't want me to pop your jaw out of it's socket, you'll unhand my wife."
He points the tip of his dagger right where the neck meets the jawline, almost drawing blood. Soon after the human unhands your hair, and scrambles away, not before Astarion leaves the tiniest knick in his neck: a reminder. You turn around and embrace the vampire, finally catching your breath. He lets you stay wrapped around his side as he guides you out of the tavern.
"Are you alright my love? Did he hurt you?"
"Just my scalp a little. I forgot my knife before we left, stupid mistake."
He lifts your chin up to make eye contact with him.
"You shouldn't have to be armed so some man won't harass you. Would I prefer you to have a weapon on you? Of course, but if you ever can't protect yourself, I will."
You start to tear up a little. It's been a while since you've been that scared, and no one seemed to notice. What would've happened if Astarion was too late?
"Look at me."
He wakes you from your thoughts.
"Let's go home. Perhaps this isn't the right place for us."
You wrap your arm around his, holding onto his sleeve. Darkvision is nice at times like this, since he can see much further than you. The walk home is quiet, and he doesn't mind. However, he is constantly eyeing nearby alleyways in case that man decides to get smart with him. When you get home you ball up on the sofa, and he makes sure the door is double-locked, something he doesn't often do considering he made the locks himself. He makes his way to the sofa, the plush velvet making a nice contrast to rickety wooden chairs of the tavern.
"Come here darling."
He pulls you back to lay on him, and he unclasps your necklace, placing it gently on the nearby table.
"Astarion?"
You look up at him.
"Yes my love?"
Tears prick at your eyes again. You have a hard time getting the words out, as if it's an embarrassing question.
"Will... will you always keep me safe?"
Your voice wavers. He starts massaging your shoulders.
"Of course my sweet Tav, I'll keep you safe as long as you live."
His voice lowered, a certain serious tone taking hold. Part of him felt guilty things even went as far as they did tonight, but he promised himself he'd never let it happen again.
"I love you."
He smiles. It's not often you just say 'I love you' to one another, it's usually said in many different ways, in actions, in pet names. You save it for serious moments, when it feels important to remind each other of your love, how it binds you.
"I love you too darling."
Nothing else is said. Soon enough you fall asleep as he rubs your back, peaceful and safe.
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elucubrare · 10 months
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What are your biggest turn-offs when reading/watching historical fiction or retellings of myths?
this is really complicated - i can put it in two boxes, both of which are packed very full.
disconnection from the material reality of the past
when characters display a very specifically modern mindset (about social issues especially, but other stuff too)
(I also get bothered by some kinds of modern language - I don't mind it when, idk, an author uses "sensible" with the modern connotation of "practical" and not the 18th century "emotional" or "empathetic", but "yeah" or "okay," or even, as i found out when someone used it in medieval fantasy, "holy shit" will get on my nerves.)
there are modern things where (made up example!) a character who's supposed to be a cook will talk about making caprese salad for a fancy restaurant in December, and someone snarking on the book will say "yeah, right, they should know better than to make something that depends on a fresh summer vegetable!" and even with greenhouses, that's pretty fair. and that's even more extreme in the past. it's 1650 in Verona, it's December, you cannot obtain fresh tomatoes. i don't think this means that people in the past were, necessarily, more emotionally or spiritually in tune with the cycle of the year, or the labor it took to get clothes, or furniture, or any other material item, and of course wealth can insulate people from some of that difficulty, but it does mean that the seasons had more direct impact on people's lives. It's possible to, for example, buy clothes ready-made, but for anything fancy, it's more likely that it'll be made to fit if it's new, or altered extensively and painstakingly if it's not. that means that tearing or staining a fancy dress isn't just an issue of looking bad - you can't just replace it, and you probably won't throw it out - you figure out how to reuse it. those concerns of access to material goods are just a lot closer to the surface of the world than they often are now.
my objections to modern attitudes about the world are not that people in the past 100% accepted the views of their contemporaries - there were always people who didn't, and it makes sense that a protagonist would be one of them. but people wouldn't phrase those objections in the same way that modern people would - say your main character doesn't want a woman accused of being a witch burned. "God's power is such that the Devil cannot give this woman the ability to sour milk" is most likely going to be more persuasive to the crowd than "witches aren't real." and sometimes that's rough - it's not super fun to read about a Roman with Roman attitudes about provincial wars, or slavery in the city, but I put something down because a Roman character said (in internal dialogue) that he was disgusted to see that a man had been tortured because "Romans simply didn't do that." Historical Romans did do that, routinely - a slave could not testify in a law court unless they had been tortured. Even with distasteful things like that, I'd much rather it just be glossed over than to have them say the "correct" modern thing. It just makes it feel too much like the theme park version of the culture.
Both of these are because of specific things I come to historical fiction for - I want that sense of alienation, the gulf of experience. I hate that most historical fiction (and fantasy set in semi-recognizable periods) characters don't really care about Honor, except as a joke, because I love when characters organize their lives around arcane rules and systems that cause tiny things to escalate into blood feud. I just think they're neat! I like it when people's worldviews are shaped by their lack of scientific certainty about what causes crops to fail! If I wanted to read about people who thought and acted like me, and had lives that were mostly similar to mine, only cooler, I'd just read contemporary fiction.
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luveline · 8 months
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Omg ok Jade my love can I request a princess soulmate au with Steve? Where reader is Prince Steve’s soulmate but maybe she’s not royal herself and is struggling a bit with being the future princess?
Almost like similar vibes to some of the loser gf with rockstar Sirius things you’ve done
thank you sm for your request! (sci-fi fairytale au) prince!steve
cw talk of losing weight to fit into a dress 
Prince Steven sits across from you with a bowl of grapes and a pair of embroidery scissors. He's going to stab me, you think morosely. I'm wretched and boring and he's going to stab me and then the stars will give him another soulmate and he'll forget this whole misfortune.
He seems lost for words as you are, or uninterested. You think he's going to talk and he eats another grape instead, hair fluttering in the breeze that filters in from the balcony, his eyes trained on the holoscreen. He's pretty —soft face, softer hair, almond shaped eyes that seem perpetually amused— but more alarmingly, he's fit. Physically fit from years of sports. Royals do all manner of olympiad competition, evident in his toned shoulders and his sun-kissed skin. 
"How's your embroidery?" he asks suddenly. 
You startle, pretending you'd been attending to that rather than staring at him uselessly. "It's going well, Prince Steven," you lie. You've never embroidered before —you have practical sewing skills for darning scuffed trousers and patching elbows, but embroidery is a labour of time. Time is a luxury you haven't had. 
"Steve," he corrects. 
"Do I… Is it really okay for me to call you that? Won't people think I'm presumptuous?" 
"Ten dollar word." He slides the bowl toward you, a beautifully glazed ceramic piece that likely cost more than your month's rent. "Well, they usually let me have whatever I want, and I want you to call me Steve. And to relax. And eat more." 
"I can't. They said I need to fit into my wedding dress." 
"The wedding dress needs to fit you," Steve says, the simple cut of his button down pulled snug to his chest as he leans back in his chair. "Not the other way around. Is that why you didn't eat much at breakfast? Or was it just gross?" 
"It wasn't gross," you say softly. 
"You don't have to do any of that stuff, either, if it's boring." 
You run your finger down the creamy linen stretched between your bamboo hoops. "I don't know if it's boring. I can barely do it." 
"You're too mean to yourself," he says. 
Steve stands and puts his arm behind his head, pushing his elbow until something clicks. Embarrassed by his dismissal, you stare at your hands and fume at yourself when they begin to tremble. 
It's too much. All of it. The cruel Palace attendants who know you're not good enough. Steve and his good nature. The wedding dress, the fine China, your wonky stitches. 
Steve steps to your side. He holds out his hand, and you pass him your embroidery without meeting his eyes. Your mood worsens at the sharp slink of snipping, sure that Steve will cut your pattern from the sketch and tell you to start again. 
"Sorry, your white knot at the back was bothering me. Pass me a slimmer needle? I'll tuck it behind your stitches." 
Astonished, you pass Steve a smaller needle from the pin cushion. His brows creases gently as he works, rewiring the white thread with patience and efficiency. 
"There. It looks really nice, honey. You're a fast learner." He passes you the hoop. You take it a beat too slow and he either doesn't notice or doesn't make a fuss, chucking you under the chin softly. "Don't worry so much. I'll talk to Cordelia about your wedding dress, the idea that you need to fit into it like it's one size fits all is dumb. It's made for you. Like, what are they expecting?" 
"They're probably hoping this is all a big mistake." 
"Did someone say that to you?" 
"Nobody had to say it to me, I can tell from the way they look at…" Steve takes your face into his hand, effectively killing anything you'd been trying to say.  
He seems royal, then. Used to getting his way, maybe, the disapproving lining of his otherwise sweet eyes. You get a flash of a memory, the morning you'd been presented, Steve in his finery with his platinum crown like a beacon in brown hair, you in your best dress, embarrassingly drab in comparison, your hand offered. He'd been meeting with eligible women all week. 
You were there as a formality. Never for a second did you think your soul mark would react to his, lines of light around your opposite wrists. 
To think you'd worried about touching him. You could never imagine how beautifully careful he is, how tender. You didn't know men were like this until Steve showed you, his niceness apparently bone deep and in everything he does. 
"If people are being jerks, you have to tell me." You never imagined how casual and vulgar he'd be either. "What's the point in being a princess if people don't respect you?" 
"I'm not a princess," you say. Your heart is a hummingbird as he turns his hand and strokes your cheeks with the backs of his fingers. 
"You will be. Nothing can change that. You're going to be a princess, and you can do as much or as little as you want, because those dorks left me in charge and I say so. I can decree it, if that makes you feel better," he says, dropping his hand, the phantom of it lingering like static shock. 
"What if I'm not meant for this?" you ask quietly, shy but terrified enough to ask. 
"I was meant for you," he says, tone matching yours in timidity. His sleeves rolled up as they are, you can see the soft light of his soul mark taking a pink hue. "Right?" 
Your soul mark glows a gentle pink to match his. Because you and Steve don't know one another well, not yet, but the feeling is there, thrumming under the skin like a pulse. Not love, not not love, a glowing desire. A want to know him.
There have been moments where you wished he wasn't a Prince, but then there's no guarantee you ever would have met. 
"Right," you mouth, offering him a small smile. 
"We were meant to be together…" Steve bends at the waist, meeting your eyes. He's yet to kiss you in the week since you met, but his touches come braver everyday, the unfamiliarity between you melding into butterflies. His smirk shakes them awake. "So let's be together the way we want to. Think of princess-ing as optional." 
"And you as mandatory?"
"I'm also optional," he says with a warm laugh. "But dinner is not. I need to know what you like, if we're going to get married."
You practically gulp. Right. You're going to be his soulmate, his princess, and his wife. 
"Don't be scared. I'm not cooking it, chef Joyce is." Steve brushes hair from his eyes like a model from the giant holo screens, unaware of his own attractiveness. "I'm a shitty cook. My talents lie in other things," he drawls grandly, "like lacrosse, and neck massages." 
He winks. You laugh genuinely for the first time since you met him, and his face splits with glee.  
if you want to request anything for this AU please do! steampunk princess soulmate and her smitten prince is my new fave thing
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winterzsurprise · 11 months
Text
Thirty Minutes || Miguel O'hara
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Pairing: Miguel O'hara x F!reader
Summary: After convincing Miguel to take a break from working, he generously granted you thirty minutes with him and you know how you'd spend it.
Words: 1.7k
Tags: NOT BETA READ, smut, rough sex, vaginal fingering, overstimulation, multiple orgasm, squirting, big dick Miguel, standing sex, deep penetration, fang play, office sex (i guess?)
This is so rushed but he just do things to me. He breathes and I start giggling and twirling my hair. I am so feral for him I'm sorry (not sorry). I swear I'll bring more flavor next time :''DD
forgor to note that the glasses part is heavily inspired by that one scene from a kdrama named "Business Proposal".
hermosa - beautiful || cariño - honey || mi vida - my life || mi amor - my love
Being the leader of the inter-dimensional spider hub, it's expected for Miguel to be drowning with tasks and reports to analyze at any time of day. You accepted that fact when you started dating him on the down low.
You didn't care that he's busy since your time is also taken by fighting crimes and eventual missions. Plus, at the end of the day, the make up sex is godly.
But you find it hard to tolerate it when days and nights blurs without him leaving his office unless he needs to eat and use the bathroom.
Apparently, Jessica has held a few interventions for him with Peter B. and it failed every time. Miguel threw them out and threatened to shut Layla down if she didn't block their access to his office.
Passing by you in the lobby after another mission, Peter B. asked you with a stern look while Mayday babbled, mirroring the seriousness of her dad.
"Please do anything to get him to leave his office. I beg of you."
So after dinner where there's less activities and presence in the hub, you head straight to his office with barely a plan in mind. Clearly confident you'd make the man rest, even for fifteen minutes.
The hatch parts open and you are met by the image of him reading out a report in formal clothing and square glasses, sitting at the edge of the platform. He briefly looked up from the report before returning back to his task.
"Let me guess, Peter sent you here?"
"I heard they've already hosted a couple of interventions and rallies."
Miguel huffed, pitching the bridge of his nose. "Such a waste of time, they could have been in their home world watching over their cities."
"Come on, you know that they're just concerned about you."
"And you're here because you're also concerned?"
You laughed, webbing onto the ceiling and pulling yourself up to land beside him. “Are you really going to act this way, Miguel?”
Miguel didn’t respond, focusing on reading on the report about the paper Doc Ock variant found in Earth 2199 written by the Victorian Spider-Man. You settled on sitting next to him in silence after retracting your suit back.
His subtle glances on your skin tight shorts didn't go unnoticed but you ignored it in favor of 
You took the time to observe the man whose bulky body is covered in a simple  dress shirt with three buttons down and black pants that complemented the thickness of his thighs. The square glasses sitting on the bridge of his nose only added more flavor to his attire.
He's criminally dashing.
After being away for days to catch an anomaly and crime fighting in your own world, you couldn't ignore the simmering desire bubbling in your abdomen.
How could you not be when your darling looks like a five star Michelin meal in front of you?
Your attention seemed to bother Miguel, who let out a defeated sigh. “Alright, what do you want?”
“I just want to spend time with you, is that so bad?”
Miguel deadpanned at you, seemingly disturbed by the thought before putting the reports down and turning to face you fully with his arms crossed. His eyes scanned your form up and down, letting his head fall back before groaning.
“Alright, I’ll bite. You got thirty minutes.”
You grinned. "That's all I need."
He raised an eyebrow at that but before he could question it, you captured his lips with yours. As if the kiss was a droplet on the water, the ripples caused by the taste of his lips awakened the lust simmering in the pit of your stomach.
His hands found your hips and pulled you close until you rediscovered your rightful seat on his thighs. Rough and calloused touch sneaked past your top and crawled up to the swell of your breast.
Miguel pulled away, removing his glasses—quite erotically—before diving back to lose himself in your lips.
"Is this what you plan on using your thirty minutes for?"
"You know it'll last longer than thirty."
"I doubt that."
His words sent jolts of pleasure down your spine, igniting your nerve endings alight.
"Are you really going to fuck me in your office, boss?"
"Don't 'boss' me, hermosa and you know I'd spread you open no matter the location."
His hands unclasped the front of your bras and spared no time in covering your flesh with his. The rough texture of his palm rubbing against your firm nipples got you moaning, hips twisting in his thighs desperate for stimulation.
Pulling away, Miguel's lips fell to your throat, his tongue roamed the skin above your heartbeat that rose when his razor sharp teeth grazed your flesh, threatening to pierce. With the soft suckles on your neck and the rough massage on your mounds, you were a moaning mess, tugging helplessly on his hair and grinding pathetically on him.
"You're so desperate for me, mi amor. Did you miss me that much?"
"Shut up and just touch me, please."
He groaned, deep. "You sound so adorable when you beg, baby."
He quickly made work of your shirt, tossing it along with your bra before moving to tugging your shorts off. Your hands busies itself with his dress pants, desperate to feel the heat of his skin against your own and to feel the curve of his girth once more.
It didn't take long before you're both naked and bare to anyone who dares enter his chambers. A shrill excitement electrifies your skin at the thought of being caught, the riskiness of being discovered and seen being devoured by the man you love oddly arouses you further.
Though you're sure with how possessive he is, Miguel has already shut the gates to anyone till he's done with you.
But it was an interesting thought to have while his three of his fingers savagely thrusts in and out of your hole, the other hand grounding your hips made it impossible to escape the onslaught of pleasure after pleasure striking your nerves down, you screamed, clawing at his broad back as he fingered you open.
Miguel grunts. "Scream louder for me, mi vida. I want to hear how good I make you feel."
His thumb found your clit and started drawing figures of eight on them, the knot in your abdomen twists tighter as you climb towards your orgasm. There's a wet squelch building up to bounce in the chamber and you flush red yet Miguel took it as a compliment, increasing his speed and curling three fingers upwards more.
Your legs shook violently from where they stood beside his wide thighs before the knot unfurled and you came with a shout, trembling pathetically in his hold. The sudden onslaught of serene euphoria makes you light-headed and you rest your forehead on his shoulder.
He pulled away, choosing to be merciful and let your shaking figure settle down before continuing.
"You didn't squirt? What a shame."
"F-fuck you."
"Don't lie, cariño." There's a grin in his voice as he pulls you flush to him. "I know you like it when I leave you writhing pathetically."
Not sparing any second, he stands up and you wrap your arms around his neck, already sensing his plan as he reaches down to line the tip of dick with your sopping heat. The sensation of his girth so near your entrance re-igniting the suffocating arousal and desire in your body.
"And god, do I miss seeing you cock-drunk and shaking."
Plunging in deep, your mouth falls and you scream. The hilt of his girth grazing your uterus along with the burn of the stretch sparking every nerve endings alight. The familiar feeling of his cock reminding your hole who it belongs to made you feel dizzy, it was too much but it feels so good.
His thrusts are unforgiving, rattling your soul every time his hips collide with yours, leaving you breathless and moaning unintelligible words. His fangs digs into the crook of your neck as he pants and groans into your skin.
The sensation of your pebbled nipples rubbing against his chest sends electric shocks down your spine, adding onto your quick climb to your high.
You could barely make out the Spanish words he's whispering like a prayer, mind fogged with nothing but the pure nirvana he was handing to you. 
"Fuck, you feel so good for me. Always so sweet and tight for me, yeah?"
"Yes yes yes…!"
One of his hands grabbed hold of your jaw, forcing you to meet his dark red eyes. "You're not leaving this fucking room until I'm done with you, understand?"
You nod vigorously, wanting nothing but to please him enough to reward you with another orgasm. His lips found your neck once more, nibbling on your skin and teasingly dragging his fangs in his conquest to mark you, which shook you from your stupor, pushing his head away.
"No-not too much. It'll show."
Miguel's eyebrow raised, unfazed. "And?"
"T-they'll find out."
He scoffed. "I don't fucking care. Let them know who fuck you well and bare."
Angling his hips, he grazes a spot and you cry before the next plunge hits it, your legs began to shake around him with every thrust. Tears blurred your vision as pleasure invaded your very being, it didn't take long before you burst in his arms, your arousal painting his clenched stomach.
"That's it. Give it to me."
Ramping his speed, you howled. Pain started to mix with euphoria but you couldn't stop, it's not enough to satiate your famished soul. 
"F-fuck…! I-I don't think I can a-anymore."
You squealed at the sharp stinging pain left by his hand on your clit. "You will and I'll make sure of it."
Palming your bead more gently than his savage thrusts, he tightened the coil in your stomach tighter and tighter until it exploded and splattered once more unto his glistening abs, legs writhing helplessly in the air.
With the unbearable tightness of your velvet walls around his dick, Miguel soon followed. Hot liquid arousal painting your insides white with every pulse of his dick. You groaned at the familiar feeling of fullness before wincing at the pain of overstimulation.
Slapping his back, you whined. "I'm so fucking sore and you'll make me walk out by myself. How fucking cruel of you."
Miguel grumbled, catching his breath as he sat you both down on the floor.
"Who said you're leaving, cariño?"
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olderthannetfic · 3 months
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Genuine question: what's the point of writing fanfic? As in, what's the purpose? No one in the fandom I'm in comments on fics and I even got told off by one person for doing so, as it "encourages bad writers and makes them think they're good". So it seems that it's a lot like book writing, where people work hard and are creative, but instead of getting paid and getting comments on the work, you just sit there silently hoping someone will press the kudos button and make a number go up. I feel like that time and work could be better spent on making something you might get some kind of profit off of. Don't get me wrong, I love doodling fanart, but I don't post it, as I'm aware that there's no point to doing so, and while it's a nice way to fill the time on a commute, it's not something that takes me as much time and effort as fanfic does. So... why do people bother? Sometimes I describe ideas I have and people I know in my fandom will tell me I should write it, but I don't see why. I get more interaction from just saying "imagine if [thing here]" than I would by sitting down, writing for hours, editing and posting [thing here], so what would the point be? I'm not punching down or going "haha women and their fanfic lol!", I genuinely do not get what the point is and this blog feels like it might have someone reading who knows the answer.
--
Do you make art for profit? Genuine question.
There's nothing inherently wrong with being motivated primarily by external factors, but it's not actually why a lot of people create things, whether it's books or recipes or doodles in a notepad.
I enjoy the actual process of writing.
I think many people lose sight of that aspect in an era where tons of <500-word fics that are mostly outlines and "Imagine if..." posts get disproportionate attention for being easy to consume. But the satisfaction of doing a bigger art piece and doing it right is real and motivates a hell of a lot of creation.
I suppose you might be thinking "Okay, but why not just write it alone and never post?", but I like sharing. Showing off my finished creation is part of the joy, and sharing with other people like me is too. But those aren't quite the same thing as worrying about kudos. It's like dressing nicely when you leave the house because you feel great when you know you look good vs. needing another person to tell you you look good.
To be honest, though, this type of feeling has grown in me the better I've gotten at a craft. The closer my finished projects get to the vision in my head, the easier it is to find them fulfilling and to be excited to share them. When I fall short of my own ambitions, it's discouraging no matter how much attention I might get from others.
I feel like it's time for my regular reblog of Adam Westbrook's video essay series The Long Game.
vimeo
vimeo
youtube
The third and least known in the series is all about this idea of who you're making art for if you're not getting material rewards in the short term. It talks a lot about autotelicity—being internally driven instead of externally.
--
But if you really just want clicks, anon, start a blog that accepts anon asks and posts about wanky stuff. Actually tag things, unlike me, so people can find you.
No, writing for attention isn't worth it.
The time investment is too great and your brain will always fixate on the times people didn't respond instead of the times they did.
But that's not actually why most people write.
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homunculus-argument · 8 months
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There's a stereotype about children of strict parents having their Teenage Rebellion Phase in grown adulthood, doing all the things that were strictly prohibited at home. My family didn't have any kind of clear or consistent rules or discipline, but I've been noticing the things that I now feel allowed to do.
One major one is fussing over my appearance. While it's good to teach your children that the way someone looks shouldn't matter, we were also quite clearly taught that how you look shouldn't matter to you, either. We were scolded for judging people, but were definitely taught that people who care about their appearance beyond making sure that they're clean and dressed appropriately for the occasion are pathetic, pitiable creatures. "Nobody cares how you look" wasn't just something that insidiously seeped through in unintended implications, it was repeated out loud every time.
My mother was never pretty. We were strictly taught that looks don't matter and being bothered by something like that is something you should be ashamed of, but she was in the habit of standing in front of the mirror and complaining to her children about all the ugly things in her appearance. Often enough that I don't balk to say that my mother is ugly. And I grew up to look just like her. I got her bad skin and bulldog jowls, every feature in my face that's ugly is one that I got from her.
I got three face piercings, changed my whole wardrobe, and dyed my hair bright pink the year I cut my family out of my life. I didn't go out of my way to choose some specific style they would disapprove of, just one that made me happy. The part that they'd disapprove of was spending time, money and effort on it. Professional, good quality piercings cost money, I had to travel to another city to get them and spend months meticulously cleaning them just to have stupid shiny things on my face that make me happy. I spent time and effort finding clothes that I really liked, and take the time to put my jewellery on when I leave the house, because I like the way they look and it makes me happy. I spend money on skin treatments and a twice-per-day hair care routine because I have the time and money and that's what I want to spend them on.
My family wasn't religious but I sure was taught that vanity is a sin. My mother was an ugly woman and I grew up to look like her. But I'll be ugly in my own terms.
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russellsppttemplates · 3 months
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Hi Inês hope you’re doing good. Just thought about Lando being absolutely the sweetest with his pregnant girl. Maybe she’d be insecure but he’d do everything in his power to make her feel good and comfortable in her changing body and he’d be so proud he’s going to be a dad and always mention it in interview, to his friends and everywhere really
Cw: reader's insecurity about her pregnant body
It started as something small and barely noticeable. You started showing when the weather got colder, so it was natural to have more layers on, making your outfits lose the tight fitted shape, and Lando wanted you to be warm and comfy, so he didn't think of it at first. When you started getting ready and dressed in the bathroom, however, that tipped the scales in your husband's head that there was something going on.
"I want to have some cuddles with my two favourite people", Lando said as he laid in bed, ready to unwind from the day, "sure, I'll just put my pyjamas on, I'll be right back", you mumbled, the uneasiness clear in your voice as you made your way to the ensuite.
"Actually, baby, I wanted to talk to you about that", he began, catching your attention as you sat down on the bed where he patted his hand, "you've been very kept to yourself, and you never undress here in the room if I'm here. Is there something wrong?", he asked.
You knew better than to lie through your teeth, so you let it out, "my body has changed a lot recently, and I didn't even think I'd be this bothered by it. I never fit into the patterns that society defined so I thought I would be fine. It's just stretch marks and me getting bigger, it's not like it hasn't happened before", you scoffed as tears gathered in your waterline, "bu- but, It's a lot to take in. Every day there's something new I notice", you bit your bottom lip.
"Every single day there's something new and gorgeous about you, you're right, baby", Lando smiled, wiping the stray tear that fell on your cheek, "May I?", he asked as he lifted your shirt once you gave him consent, "your body is growing our babygirl, Y/N, and you look so gorgeous while doing it", he complimented.
"There's that old wives tale that says that if you're having a baby girl, it means the mother doesn't have that glow or beauty because the daughter is stealing them from her, but that's not true. Everyday you get more beautiful to me. Your tummy is making sure she's safe inside and nothing bad happens to her, your boobs will make sure she's fed and growing as she should", he smiled, tracing patterns in the skin before he unbuttoned the skirt you were wearing, glad the fabric was kept together by the buttons on the side of your thigh so you wouldn't have to move to be left in your underwear.
"All of you is beautiful, and I'm going to show you just that", he moved to hold your ankle, "these are making sure you're moving throughout the pregnancy, and they're so soft an-", he was interrupted, "Lando, they're swollen, Mila even compared them to one of her balloons the oth-".
"Shhhh, I'm not finished...! And your strong, thick thighs, I've always loved them, making sure you'll be ready for when the time comes to bring her earthside. These hips, I always get lost in them, and they're so gorgeous and perfect for me to hold you against my body, your tummy protecting our daughter, all of you", he kissed as he went along, bringing a smile to your face at his sillyness despite the serious tone, "I meant every word, Y/N, I love you, I'm in awe of you everyday, I'm proud of you for telling me how you feel and I'll remind you everyday of that", he kissed your lips, "you're the most beautiful woman in the world, baby".
.
"Does this look nice?", you looked at your husband through the mirror, not knowing if the dress was flaterring. Ever the funny one, Lando mimicked something going through his heart, falling dramatically on the bed, "woman, you're going to kill me with all of your beauty!", he exaggerated.
Giggling at his antics, you pulled him up to his feet, "you look gorgeous, baby, absolutely gorgeous", he complimented, making you twirl before he kissed your lips.
Already in the paddock, Natalie wa she first to talk about you, "I saw you arrive to the track today with a very special guest. How is everything going?", she questioned.
"Fantastic! It's great having my wife here this weekend, it's my home race so it wasn't hard for her to travel here, which is getting a little trickier now that she's pregnant, but yes, very good", Lando beamed at the mention of you.
"It's always good to have support around and you've been together for a while, too!", she noted.
"Yes! And we're having a baby, so it's been extra special making these memories together. She's sitting in the front here actually, I'm not sure you can see her", Lando pointed to the side of the stage he was facing, "you can't see how gorgeous she looks today, and she's very pregnant so I won't make her get up, but that just means you'll have to go online and see my very own beautiful superwoman", he gushed, the praise directed towards always coming to him so effortlessly.
"She does indeed look amazing! Hi, Y/N!", Natalie waved, "what a great Silverstone Grand Prix we're going to have, I'm sure!".
"Did you know that he told everyone in the driver's debrief that you were joining us today?", Oscar pointed out while you had lunch, his son Lucas drawing with you on his colouring book, "Lando!", you scolded softly, blushing at the thought of your husband pestering the rest of the grid, "what? They all know we're having a little Norris and they always ask about you, so I told them you were here this weekend!".
(Thank you for your submission ✨️)
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narryffdreaming · 6 days
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A TOAST TO THE FUTURE — TWO
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Summary: Aurora and Harry used to be friends, but life happened and they grew apart. Now, 6 years later, they meet again.
Rating: +18
WARNINGS: The story contains explicit language and mentions a past abusive relationship (mostly the consequences of psychological/emotional abuse). Some chapters also contain explicit sexual content.
PART TWO: 14,9k words Please read: Part two explores a lot of Aurora's irrational thoughts and it shows how much she struggles to be herself after being married to someone who was emotionally abusive to her. From my perspective, it's a really important chapter to develop the relationship between Aurora and Harry, but I want people to be mindful of its content in case they don't feel comfortable reading about this, or in case it hits too close to them. Feel free to reach out if you want to skip something and you'd like me to fill you in. <3
PART ONE
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Despite the line, getting through security would've taken Aurora hardly three minutes. That is, of course, if she hadn't had to wait for Harry for another ten. 
He doesn't look the least apologetic for the held back, though. Nor bothered in the slightest by the extra time he seemingly needed. Smiling at her and holding their shared tray as he tilts his chin to an empty table and leads the way towards it. 
Aurora follows him quietly, checking her watch just to make sure they won't run out of time. And she does it unconsciously, regretting every time she catches herself looking at her wrist. Because she knows they're early. She swears she knows. And she wishes she could relax and just enjoy things without that awful feeling rushing through her body. That feeling that turns into a voice and yells at her that she's constantly behind. 
Behind what, one could ask, and Aurora wouldn't be able to answer.
She's just… Behind. 
Behind, and watching her life go by.
All the damn time.
Harry stops by the table, and Aurora mimics him. She drops her bag and falls on one knee, pulling up the hem of her dress and uncovering her foot. The Nike sneakers she's wearing used to be white once, but now they are just old and dirty, and she loves them even more like this. She nibbles the flesh inside of her bottom lip while tying the shoelaces up, then changes to her other knee, and repeats the process. 
Once she's done, she stands up and pats her legs, getting rid of any airport floor dirt from her clothes. 
"You're fast," Harry says, putting his foot down from the edge of the table. 
Aurora pulls the fabric of her dress up her chest and furrows her brows. "I am?"
"Hm, yeah." He frowns with amusement and chuckles. "You sure are."
"Huh." She wiggles her eyebrows up and down, then quirks the corner of her mouth up. 
Maybe, she should point out that perhaps she isn't fast, but he is too slow. Or that, unlike him, she'd organized everything beforehand so she wouldn't waste any second longer than she absolutely needed to. But what good would that do? Besides, those thoughts don't even feel like hers. They don't sound like hers. 
So she says nothing, instead, and steps closer to where he stands. 
Harry gives the tray they're sharing a gentle push to her side, and puts his other foot up. 
Aurora promptly slides the tray closer to her and places it in front of her belly, next to her bag. 
Great. 
Saying nothing was a bad idea, because silence is awkward now. 
She licks her lips and keeps her attention on their belongings, not knowing exactly what to say. 
Time goes by, though, and the longer she waits, the more awkward it gets. 
So she decides to just say whatever, just to get them talking again. 
"Perks of being a mom, I guess." She blurts out, then grabs their passports and shrugs. "Being fast, I mean." 
Harry leans on his bent knee and looks at her over his shoulder, blindly tying up his own shoes. 
"Yeah? Why's that? You get any super speed powers when you're pregnant or something?"
Aurora freezes for a second, passports still in hand. She turns her head to the side, and narrows her eyes at him.
Harry's soft lips are pursed, his green eyes are twinkling with playfulness, and his cheeks are tinted with a boyish flush under his facial hair. He's clearly having fun with his own silly comment, and it causes Aurora to break into a short laugh — not because it's funny, but because she simply can't help it. 
She shakes her head, and looks back at the tray. 
"I rush to get ready so I can pay attention to Noah, okay?" she explains, grabbing the boarding passes and checking the names on them. She puts hers inside of her passport, and the other inside of Harry's. "It's not a big deal."
She'd never thought about it, but it's the truth — she is usually busy keeping an eye on Noah, even from a distance. The little monster can't stay still for too long, and no matter how much she adores how energetic he is or that she tries her best to let him explore things by himself, the truth is that he's still only four, and she can't leave him wandering around unattended.
Which is why she fought so hard to sign him up for preschool — it gave her time to slow down and do other things, too.
Okay. See? That — that right there — is Aurora's truth. That's a thought that feels and sounds like hers. A thought that she came up with on her own, based on her own experiences and her own mistakes. A thought that reveals how she's learned that taking care of Noah is her responsibility, and that if she doesn't pay attention to her son, nobody does. 
No matter how much she dreamed it would be different.
No matter how much she believed it should be different. 
"Ohhh," Harry says. "Ok, then."
She sticks her passport and boarding pass into the front pocket of her bag, maybe a little bit more forcefully than she needs to.
"Exactly. So don't judge me."
"What?!" Harry laughs, putting his foot down from the table. "I wasn't—" 
"I can't leave my son unattended, can I?"
"I—I know, yeah." His face falls, and he nods. "I get it. That's… It makes sense. Yes." 
"Right. Great." 
A second goes by, and then another one, and another one.
Silence settles again, but this time Aurora isn't worried about it being awkward or not. 
There's just… So much going on. 
Her heart is thumping loudly inside her chest, and her ears are buzzing. 
She shouldn't have snapped at him. 
She shouldn't have snapped at him.
It wasn't about him. 
It wasn't his fault. 
She pinches the tip of her nose and breathes in. Slowly, and steadily. 
One more time. 
Slowly.
And steadily.
And then, she moves again.
She holds Harry's things in her hand and leans on the table, reaching for his bag. Before she touches it, she looks at him over her shoulder and asks, "Do you mind if I open your bag?"
Harry doesn't answer, though. He's tilting his chin down and shaking his leg, making sure his pants are properly covering his ankles. 
Aurora purses her lips and straightens her back, then slides his bag across the table and pulls it closer to her body. 
Now everything's in front of her, the tray caged in between both duffel bags. 
She bites her bottom lip, but it's hard to stop her mouth from turning into a smile. 
Maybe the speed in which she moves isn't an inconvenience, after all. In fact, maybe it even comes in handy, because apparently if she doesn't move for both of them, someone will sooner or later shove them away. 
"Harry," she insists.
"Hm?" He looks up. A frown crinkles his face — his eyebrows are pulled together, his forehead is puckered, and his lips are curled downwards. As soon as he meets her eyes, though, his shoulders drop, and he shakes his head. "Sorry."
He scratches his jaw, dragging his nails over his stubble. 
Aurora stretches her arm, and pats her hand on the edge of the table, where his feet were a minute ago. "It's fine. I was just asking if it's okay to put your passport inside your bag."
"Oh! Yeah yeah, sure. Go ahead. Thanks."
"'Kay," she says, already unzipping the front pocket and putting things away. 
Aurora rolls her shoulders at the same time Harry moves closer, and she unthinkingly snatches his belt from the tray and hands it to him. 
"Here."
"Oh," he murmurs, grabbing it from her fingers. "Thanks."
He steps away, but there's something in his voice that somehow catches her attention, and Aurora turns her head. 
She glances over her shoulder, and peeks at his face. 
Harry is looking down again, chin pressed against his chest while he takes the end of his belt and puts it into the first front loop of his beige pants. His movements are casual, but he's holding back a smile, and Aurora can tell his mind is working on something.
Something silly, to be more specific. 
She curls her mouth up, then raises her left eyebrow. "What?"
Harry tugs his belt, threading it through the second loop. 
"What?" he repeats, and his mouth finally turns into a grin. 
She turns her body towards him, then places one hand on her waist and the other spread open on the table, holding up her weight. "C'mon, out with it."
Harry laughs, slightly bending his knees and throwing his head back. "I didn't even say a word!"
"Well, you didn't have to!" She rolls her eyes and chuckles, backing away from the table to put both hands on her hips. "I can see you're thinking something."
He shakes his head, looking down and threading his belt through the next loop. 
"Harry…"
He peeks at her through the corner of his eyes, then focuses back on his belt. 
"You're aware you can leave me unattended, right?" he asks, keeping a bright smile on his face and the light tone on his voice.
"What?"
"I mean I don't mind." He shrugs, eyes still on his current task. "Gotta admit it's kinda cute to see you like this." 
"I don't—"
"My favorite part was probably when you cleaned up the table."
"I—" Aurora closes her mouth, and exhales through her nose. "You put your feet there, Harry."
"I did, yeah. And you cleaned it up."
"Well, someone has to clean up your mess, don't you think?"
Harry glances at her, and smirks as mischievous and suggestive as he can be. "Oh, I always clean up my mess, love, don't worry about it."
He winks, and Aurora gasps. 
"Oh my God!"
She turns to face the table, feelings her cheeks getting warm. 
Harry laughs, though, so she steps closer to his side and nudges him with her elbow. 
"Shut up."
"'Kay mum."
"Ughhh." She rolls her eyes, then shuts them tightly and takes a deep breath in. "You're so annoying." 
Harry's laughter only grows louder, and Aurora shakes her head, blinking her eyes open again. 
It only takes him a moment to calm down, but the smile is still obvious in his voice when he speaks again. 
"I know. I'm just teasing you, tho. I'll stop now. I promise."
Aurora snorts. "Yeah, right." 
She believes his words as much as she believes Noah when he promises he will eat his entire dinner if he gets to eat dessert first. 
The thought brings a smile to her face, and she bites her lip to hold it back. 
Peeking inside the tray one more time, she finds several rings, a bracelet, a watch, and three necklaces. Her mouth twitches, and her chest trembles with amusement — no wonder why Harry took so much longer than her to get through security.
She pulls the string of her necklace from the tray, takes each side to the back of her neck and quickly clasps it back to its everyday place. Next, she grabs her watch, and puts it on just as fast around her wrist. 
"Well,"  she starts, then looks at him. 
Harry is, once again, deeply focused on his task — his chin touches his chest, his eyebrows are pulled together, and he's biting his bottom lip. 
"All yours now," she adds. 
Harry peeps at her through the corner of his eyes, his hands still attached to his belt as he finally reaches the last loop. He darts his vision to the tray, then back at her, scanning her chest, her wrist, and her hands. "You sure? All of it?"
"Mhmm."
A group of people walks to their table, and Aurora takes a step aside to give them more room.
"Ok." He buckles his belt, then fixes his shirt. "We can go, then."
"Oh. I didn't mean to rush you."
He smiles, putting one hand inside the tray and carelessly collecting everything that's left inside. 
"You didn't." He closes his hand into a fist, then shoves everything inside of his pocket. "It's just getting crowded here. C'mon."
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"Hey, was my joke inappropriate?"
Past security and turning right, the hallway is significantly less hectic than any other area Aurora has walked through in the last hour or so. 
It is probably one of the brightest, too. 
"Hm?" she asks, tilting her head to give Harry her full attention. "Sorry, what joke?"
"About… Y'know, cleaning up my mess."
"Ohhh." Aurora laughs, then waves him off. "Please, it's nothing any of you guys haven't joked about before." 
"I know, but… Things are different now, aren't they? Don't want to make you uncomfortable, or, well, don't want to be disrespectful to your hus—"
"You're fine," she says, cutting him off before she'll be forced to either correct him or say nothing, implicitly letting him believe there's still a husband in her life. "Don't worry about it. Let's stop here so you can put your rings back on, yeah?"
She points to one side of the hallway, and walks in front of him to guide the way. It only takes her a few steps, then she places her bag by her feet and turns around. 
When she looks at him, she finds him frowning. 
Frowning and frozen on the spot. 
"Harry, hey!" She raises one hand and wiggles her fingers. "C'mon. I'll help you."
Harry's face softens. He shakes his head, then walks towards her while putting his hand inside of his pocket. 
Leaning against the white wall, Aurora watches him come to a stop right in front of her, then drop all of his jewelry on top of her spread open palm.
"Thank you," he murmurs. 
She finds his sight again, and a smile blooms across her face. "Sure, no problem."
His lips curve into a smile, too, and he looks down. He shakes his head and pulls his hair back, then turns his attention back to the items on Aurora's palms. He seems meticulous about which ring goes where, fiddling with them and hunting for specific ones. Eventually, he grabs three at once, and puts them on his pinky, middle and index left fingers. 
Aurora raises her chin and rests the back of her head against the wall, comfortably watching his relaxed face as he towers over her. 
From what she remembers, jewelry was never Harry's thing. Long hair and skinny jeans? One hundred percent. But the necklaces, the rings, and the bracelets? Those were things she'd no idea he'd be into. Or maybe not to the point of making them part of his casual look to the airport.  
"So," she teases, easing her dry lips with her tongue then forcing her voice to sound exactly like she imagines a reporter would sound like, "Harry, would you say you enjoy wearing rings?" 
Harry darts his eyes to her, and the expression on his face never falters, holding a serious and unamused demeanor as he moves his lips to say, "Bloody hate them."
She presses her lips together, but then she snorts, taking her free hand to cover her mouth. 
Harry shakes his head and grins, changing hands and catching two more rings to put on his right fingers. 
"Why? What's wrong with my rings?" 
She sighs and shrugs, calming down from her brief moment of foolish, silly laughter. 
"Nothing. 'M just teasing you."
He places the last two, and pulls the two golden strings from her palm. 
"Hmm…" Harry nods. He fixes his eyes on the jewelry and frowns, eying the many tiny knots that had formed along the necklaces. "Great, then. Glad you're having fun at my expense."
Aurora drops her jaw.
"You were making fun of me two minutes ago!"
Harry chuckles, although he's distracted by his attempt to untangle his necklaces. "Guess I was, huh."
He shakes his head, and Aurora steps away from the wall, getting closer to him.
"Which wrist do you wear this one?" she asks, lifting her hand and his bracelet.
"Left—I mean, right," he answers, and although they don't look at each other's faces, they both smile at the same time. 
Harry remains focused on the knotted strings between his fingers, but stops moving when Aurora curls one hand around his right wrist and pulls it closer to her face. In one quick movement, she clasps the item around it, then taps his hand twice. 
"All done. Now gimme that." 
She snatches the necklaces from him, and observes carefully before undoing the mess. One of the golden strings is longer than hers, but they're both just as delicate, and instead of a disk, one holds a cross pendant, and the other a tiny, thin tag. She bites her lip and patiently fiddles with the pieces of jewelry, taking her time to unwrap the tiny knots.
Things are quiet. Time ticks without a hurry. And after a minute, or maybe two, or three, she grins proudly, and lifts her chin to look at him.
"Look!" she says, even though she doesn't have to — Harry's already looking at her, already watching her. "I've done it!"
He blinks a couple of times, then nods, slowly mimicking her smile and her excitement. "Y—You did, yeah! Thanks."
"You're welcome." She grabs the longest string, picking each side with one hand, and takes a step closer to him. "I find untangling necklaces weirdly therapeutic." 
Harry widens his eyes. "What are you doing?!" 
Aurora rolls her eyes, and chuckles. "Calm down. I'm not gonna kiss you, don't worry."
"Right. No, yeah, I know that." He chuckles, too. "Of course." 
She stops moving and tilts her head, then raises her hands. "I mean, can I?"
"Wha—" Harry takes a step back. "Kiss me?!"
"Harry!" Aurora shrieks, also taking a step back and away from him. "Oh my God, no!"
She looks at him for a moment, taking in his bulged eyes and raised eyebrows. He looks mortified, and there's so much going on at once that she can't help but burst into laughter — at the misunderstanding, at the look of his face, but also at the terror in his voice. 
She turns away from him, throwing her head back as laughter breaches from her chest. 
"This is… I can't…"
"Sorry," Harry says, "I just—"
Aurora shakes her head, feeling warmth radiating from her chest throughout her entire body. 
"Oh my… Oh my God." She places one hand on her stomach and brings the other to her face, fanning herself while taking a deep breath in through her nose. "You should've… You should've seen your face… Oh God… Harry… You panicked so hard, I just…"
She wipes a tear from under her eye, and takes another deep breath in, working to calm herself down.
"I never… I never thought the idea of kissing me could… Could be that terrifying for someone. Oh God."
Harry sighs. "Auri…"
She turns around, and looks at him with the biggest smile on her face, her body still shaking from laughing. 
Harry isn't happy, though. Or at least he doesn't seem to be. He's narrowing his eyes, and furrowing his brows. His lips are pressed into a hard line, and his forehead is puckered. 
And just like that, Aurora's laughter fades away. 
Shit. 
She's too familiar with that dynamic, so she clears her throat and shakes her head. 
"I'm sorry. I—I know it wasn't funny. I just… I think I haven't laughed this hard in a really long time, so I just… I got carried away, I guess. I'm sorry. But I shouldn't—Sorry." 
"Listen, I didn't—"
"Yeah, yeah. I know." 
Actually, Aurora doesn't know. Of course she doesn't know. She has absolutely no idea what he was about to say, but she doesn't want to talk about it. She's been there before. And she's been there before so many times that her mind and body don't even know how to react any other way. How not to anticipate the humiliation and shame that is about to follow. How not to completely shut off. 
Thankfully, Harry seems to get it, because he nods, grabbing his necklaces from her hand and putting them back inside of his pocket. 
And this time, Aurora doesn't say anything about it, grabbing her bag from the floor and feeling ready to move on.
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"Do you mind if we take a look around some of the shops?" Aurora asks, pointing around the World Duty Free and breaking the silence that settled between them for the past few minutes. 
Harry moves slowly next to her, keeping his hands inside of his pockets. "'Course not."
"Thanks." She makes sure to curve her mouth into a smile, then stops at the first shop to take a look at the makeup. 
Things are quiet, but Harry stands right behind her all the time, keeping her company while she brings a lipstick closer to her face to check the color shade, and then following her steps when she moves to a different shelf. 
"Hey," Aurora says, looking over her shoulder, "what's your cologne?"
"Hm..." He scratches his jaw and shrugs. "Depends on the day, I guess."
She nods, then turns to face some nail polish, aiming for the brightest options. 
It's been a while since she's done her nails. She used to love looking at her hands and seeing them colorful and filled with rings, it used to make her feel beautiful and delicate. Feminine. 
Zack used to love it as well, though, and to be honest at some point she stopped doing a lot of things Zack liked. Just because.
"Which one are you wearing today, then?"
"Why?" 
She shrugs. His voice is right behind her, but Aurora doesn't turn around to look at him. 
"'Cause you smell really nice." 
Maybe she could do her nails in Italy… Maybe one of the girls brought something with them. 
Or maybe she could get something herself…
The orange shades look nice…
She sighs, and steps away from the shelf. 
She can't. She shouldn't spend her money like that. She needs to be more careful now, especially since she spent a lot of unplanned money on that trip to Italy. 
She turns her head, wiggling her eyebrows at him. "So…?" 
Harry clears his throat. "Uh… Well… It's Guerlain."
Aurora twirls, holding her bag close to her body as her hair and dress follow her brisk movement.
"Cool! Let's find it, then." 
She walks away, and Harry's low chuckle echoes behind her. 
Although she can't see him, she feels his presence all the time, following her pace.
"What for?" he asks. 
"I don't know." She shrugs, looking from one side to the other. Scanning all the tiny duty-free shops. "I'm bored, I'm tired… Oh! There it is!" 
Her pace quickens, and so does Harry's.
Aurora only stops when she's in front of the Guerlain shelves, and then she turns around, staring at him with a smile on her face and pointing her arm to the many colognes displayed behind her. 
"Which one is yours?"
He clears his throat, and— 
Wait, is he blushing? 
Aurora purses her lips, holding herself back from laughing.
"It's L'Homme Idéal Extrême."
"Hmmm." She wiggles her eyebrows, and pulls one corner of her mouth up in a smirk. "Sounds sexy…" 
"Jesus Christ," Harry grunts, hiding his face behind both of his hands and shaking his head. 
Aurora laughs at his reaction, tapping his shoulder twice before turning on her feet and looking for his cologne. 
"What happened to you in the States, huh?" She leans down, squinting to read the names. "Never thought I would see Harry Styles getting all shy in front of me."
It takes him a moment to answer, but eventually he mumbles, "I've always been shy in front of you."
Aurora pauses for a moment, replaying his words in her mind. Images of them hanging out together pop up immediately — at the pub, at someone's apartment, after class, over the weekend. His cheeky glances, touchy hands and bold comments are always present, one way or another. He always craved attention, and people had no problem granting his wishes. 
It never bothered her, because he was young and had just joined university, but it certainly didn't paint him as a shy and reserved person. 
A snort leaves her mouth. "Yeah, right." 
She stands, and puts her hands on her waist. "What was the sexy name again?"
"L'Homme—" He sighs. "It's this one."
Aurora turns around, only to find Harry standing in the same place they were a minute ago. The shelf next to him is filled with bottles of the same cologne. Apparently, his cologne.
She gasps. 
"Harry!" She walks towards him, and Harry shakes his head in soft laughter, scratching the back of his neck. "I was standing right next to it and you didn't tell me!"
"It's just a very common cologne, Auri." He laughs, again. It sounds kind of shaky, though, and she frowns, stopping on her track. "I don't… Why are we looking for it?"
Uh… 
Well… To be honest… She doesn't have an answer for that. 
She doesn't know why they're looking for it. She is just joking. She just wanted to pass the time because she is exhausted, and because the longer she spends around people, the more afraid she is of falling apart at any moment. She thought maybe she could try it on, see if his cologne would smell as well on her skin as it smelled on his… Who knows… She was just… She wasn't thinking, okay? She was just being her stupid self.
Harry, on the other hand, isn't just messing around. Harry looks actually nervous. 
Her jokes are making him nervous. 
She is making him uncomfortable. 
In the middle of an airport, filled with people. 
Shit.
And she's done it twice now. 
First with the necklace… Now with the cologne… 
Fuck.
How many more times till he reaches his breaking point? 
How many more times till she finally pushes him through the edge? 
How many more times till she puts him in a position where he won't be able to stop himself from snapping at her?
Her hands shake, and her stomach quivers. 
"Yeah, no, I mean…" She shakes her head and smiles at him, closing her hands into fists and placing them behind her back. "You're right. Sorry. I—I'm really sorry. Hm… I think I… I should get a coffee."
Harry flinches his head back. "Wait  what?"
"Coffee. It'll keep me awake." She walks around him, and Harry follows her movements. 
"Auri, but what… Hey! What about my cologne?"
She waves it off. "Yeah, I know. I was just being annoying." 
She moves towards the exit of the duty-free, where all the departure gates are, and another yawn breaks through her lips. 
"Yep." She chuckles. "Definitely need some coffee."
"Auri," Harry calls, catching up with her. "Hey, stop. C'mon. Something just happened."
"What do you mean?" Aurora laughs. 
She flexes her fingers, curling and uncurling them. Her eyes wander around the airport, looking for a coffee shop. 
A coffee shop. 
A coffee shop. 
She needs a coffee shop. She needs to get herself together. She needs to busy herself with something before she does something silly and stupid again. 
"I… I don't know. Why did you change your mind?"
Harry walks next to her, and she offers him a smile. 
"About what?"
"What do you mean about what? About my cologne, Auri!"
Aurora flinches.
"Sorry. Yeah, no, right. The cologne. Yeah. I just… I made you uncomfortable and I was being childish. Sorry."
"I wasn't uncomfortable, Auri, I just—"
"I know."
"Auri, no, listen—" 
"Harry." She turns around and smiles, then places one hand on his elbow. "It's fine. You don't need to explain yourself. I just… I really, really need a coffee right now. I haven't slept all night, so… Yeah. I'd just like to get a coffee. If you don't mind."
She lets go of his elbow, and Harry sighs. 
"Ok, yeah. Let's get you some coffee, then."
They walk forward, side to side, and Harry speaks again. 
"Do you still drink caramel coffee?"
Aurora widens her eyes. 
"Wow… That's back from… Well, a long time ago."
It's small, and kind of timid, but Harry smiles, and then shrugs. "Used to get you one at least once a week, didn't I?"
"You did, yeah." She smiles back at him and nods, then faces forward again. There's a coffee shop only three stores ahead, and it seems to be already open. Thank God. "To be honest I can't remember the last time I had one. I drink plain black coffee now."
Harry nods, and they both walk in silence, side by side — always side by side.
It shouldn't be uncomfortable, but Aurora's chest is heavy, and her mind seems foggy. 
Truth be told, she thought she would have more time before she started disappointing her friends, before letting them know how much she's changed and how uninteresting she's become.
Meeting Harry at the airport got in between her plans, though. And she could feel herself breaking little by little each second. Having to face the memories of someone she used to be, someone she liked to be, but also someone she isn't anymore. And someone she can't be anymore. 
Looking at her feet, she bites the inside of her lip. She was acting like a child at the duty-free, wasn't she? Jumping around, excited about his cologne… 
God. She hasn't even left the country yet, and she's already ruining things. 
She needs to control herself. 
She isn't a teenager anymore. She can't embarrass him. She doesn't want to embarrass him. 
"Do you want something to eat?" Harry asks, and she stops walking.
They're in front of the coffee shop, but Aurora wouldn't have realized if it weren't for him.
She shakes her head. "No, I'll just get myself a coffee."
"Let me get it for you."
What?
She takes a step back. "Absolutely not."
Harry's smile falters, but he doesn't give up. "C'mon… Like the old times! Yeah?"
"No, Harry. I mean, thanks, but no. I can pay for mine."
"I know you can pay for yours, I don't—"
"Please." She shakes her head and looks down to the floor. "It's just a silly coffee. I can get it for me. Okay?"
Harry frowns. 
"Ok? Yeah." 
Aurora nods, looks at the shop, then back to the floor. "Are you getting anything?"
"No, I'll just wait here."
"Okay," she whispers, forcing a smile before turning around and walking away.
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It's crazy to see how much Harry has changed.
That's all Aurora can think about while she stands in line and watches him type on his phone. 
He's still outside, waiting for her, and seems deeply engaged with his conversation, frowning while his fingers move rapidly. 
No more black skinny jeans, no more vintage t-shirts or Chelsea boots. No more curls that are longer than her own hair. No more thin shoulders nor skinny arms. 
His baggy pants — wide legged, high-waisted — are beige, his cute shoes are yellow, and she still can't get over the flamingo shirt he's wearing.
He looks older, too. Brooding features, chiseled cheekbones, growing stubble. His face is perfectly carved, his traces have hardened, and there is something very manly about the way he stands there, focusing on typing on his phone. 
It isn't just his physical appearance, though. He acts like a grown-up, too. There's something about the way he simply exists that screams how much he's changed. You would never tell the man standing outside is the same boy who used to make stupid bets with his roommates from uni. But it's clear that Harry isn't a boy anymore, and that he's turned into a man.
And Aurora wasn't prepared to deal with that. 
Aurora lowers her chin and rubs her eyes.
She is being ridiculous. 
Why would she need to be prepared for that? 
Of course Harry grew up! How old is he now, anyway? 29? 30? Of course he isn't the same anymore. 
She should focus on how nice it is to see him again, not about stupid things. 
Who would've thought she would actually meet him at the airport? Who would've thought they'd end up sharing the flight? Standing in line with him, hopefully getting some seats next to each other… She should appreciate having a friend by her side. That's all. 
Aurora can't remember why he stopped hanging out with the group, though, and now she can't stop thinking about it. She has absolutely no idea about anything that could be going on with his life. It was as if Harry had grown more and more distant with time, until he wasn't there at all.
She's still pretty sure the last time she saw him was at her and Zack's wedding. She remembers someone telling her he'd moved to the United States, but why wasn't she at his graduation? It didn't make sense. Especially considering how, around a year later, he was kind enough to send them a basket when Noah was born.
They weren't the closest friends, and they were in very different stages of their lives when they met, sure, but they were part of the same group, and she used to have a soft spot for him. Just like she used to have a soft spot for Niall. 
Usually, when they were all at the pub, everyone would leave and the three of them would stay behind, chatting and laughing until Aurora felt her lids closing by themselves and they would walk her home. They both used to make her laugh all the time, and she actually loved spending those moments with them. 
Until she met Zack, of course, and then she started spending her nights with him. 
Maybe that was it. Maybe it wasn't about him. Maybe she had grown more and more distant, until she wasn't around anymore. At all.
She knows it's something she's done with everyone else, at least. The girls would knock on her door from time to time, though, and she couldn't run from everyone whilst living in the same city, but Harry flying overseas was a different situation. So it makes sense they didn't keep up with their friendship. 
It makes sense, but it still bothers her. 
It bothers her because she forgot how easy, and fun, and electrifying it was to be around him. She forgot how affectionate, attentive, kind, and friendly he was. She forgot how spontaneous and cheerful she used to be with him. She forgot how much she enjoyed his carefree and easygoing way of looking at life. She forgot… 
Well, to be honest, it's like she just forgot about him. 
And how could she forget about him?
Harry used to be such a great friend. 
Just like Niall. 
But somehow different. 
Because there's something about the way Harry looks at her that she never found in Niall's eyes. It has something to do with Harry's curiosity, probably. How much he cares about details. How he likes to know more about people, about things, about everything. 
"Next?" the lady behind the counter shouts.
Aurora shakes her head, and darts her eyes away from Harry. 
She has no idea how much time she just spent staring at him. She didn't even notice she was doing it, to be honest. And she can only hope he didn't notice, as well.
The woman behind her taps her shoulder.
"That's you, miss," she says. 
Aurora widens her eyes and steps forward.  "Oh, yes, sorry… Hi!" 
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Their flight is delayed. 
Aurora laughs, and rubs her fingers on her forehead. 
"And I was worried I'd be late," she murmurs.
They've been hanging out by their gate for at least half an hour now. Harry sits next to her, their bags placed together on his opposite side. He's leaning back comfortably, arms crossed on top of his abdomen and legs spread open in front of him. 
He nudges her arm with his elbow, then asks, "What was that?"
She shakes her head and waves him off with one hand, then double taps her phone with the other, lighting up the screen. 
It's 6:30. 
Noah should be waking up by now. Or at least Zack should be trying to wake him up. 
She unlocks her phone and opens up the app to text him. She takes a deep breath in, and her fingers hover the screen. She needs to be careful with her words, because she doesn't want him to think she doesn't trust him with Noah. That would be unfair with him. And it's not even about that. Of course it's not! She knows Noah's safe with his dad. She swears she never questioned him as a father. Whatever happened between them as a couple would never change the fact that Zack loves Noah to death. 
Aurora knows that. Really! The only reason why she wants to know how they're doing is because Noah has never woken up at his dad's new place, and because she knows what a long and emotional process it can be to wake him up. That's all. 
She bites her bottom lip, and types the same questions again and again, until she's happy with the way she's phrased them.
Hii! 
How are you guys doing?
How was Noah's first night over there? Did you guys have fun?
She sends the messages, and reads them over. And over, and over. 
That was good, wasn't it? She sounded friendly, right? She wasn't attacking him, right? He wouldn't be mad at her, right?
"I'll be right back," Harry says, getting up from his seat. He moves past her quickly, looking at his own hand and sliding his finger through the screen of his phone before taking it to his ear. "Hey… Yeah, I know… No, you listen to me…"
Harry doesn't sound happy — at all — and Aurora frowns. She watches him walk away, blending between people, then glances back to her phone.
No signs of Zack yet. Which is fine. Of course. It's not even been a minute. Actually, Aurora is usually so absorbed by Noah in the mornings that she doesn't check her phone until she drops him off at preschool. So it's fine. Really.
Hopefully he'll be able to make him have breakfast by 7:15, though. Otherwise they won't get there on time. Should she remind him of that? No, that's stupid. Zack is not stupid, and she always drives him insane for reminding him of the obvious little details. 
Maybe he won't even take him to preschool. Maybe he'll drive him over to his parents, instead. 
Or maybe she should just trust him. Maybe this would be the time he'd follow through with a promise he'd made.
Another yawn sneaks up on her. She slides down on her seat and rubs her eyes with the palms of her hands. 
Maybe she should accept Harry's offer and take a quick nap on his shoulder. She brushed the idea off minutes ago, but now she can't deny it sounds really tempting. 
God… How is she supposed to spend two days on a yacht? She's never been on one before. She also hasn't been around all her friends in a very long time… 
Is she going to be able to interact with them? Because if they're expecting her to act the same way she used to before getting married… Well, they'll be extremely disappointed.
The only thing about Aurora that'll resemble those old days are the clothes Maddie packed for her. 
Shit. Oh shit. Oh… Fuck! Her clothes. No, no, no. Shit! She is going to kill Madison. 
She can't wear all those clothes in front of Harry! There is no fucking way she'll walk in front of him in a bikini, or wearing those silk and backless dresses. There is absolutely no fucking way she's going to wear those tops that almost don't cover her breasts in front of him. 
Well, not just in front of him, of course…
She's thinking about Harry because he's the one with her right now, but she doesn't want to wear those clothes in front of anyone. Not just him. 
It isn't even about the people, really. It's about her body. A body that has changed a lot through the years. 
Oh, boy… She needs to sleep. She can't start spiraling about how unsexy she's been feeling for years. It's not the moment for that. It's not what the weekend is about. 
"Are you sleeping with your eyes open?" Harry's low and deep voice sounds right next to her ear, and Aurora jumps on her seat. 
Harry chuckles behind her, then makes his way around her seat. 
"Shit," she murmurs, taking her hand to her chest, but a shaky laugh still leaves her mouth. "You scared me."
He stops in front of her and furrows his brows, then tilts his head to the side and curves his mouth into a cheeky smile, narrowing his eyes to look at her. 
"What?" she asks. 
He doesn't move, though. 
And he also doesn't stop staring at her. 
Aurora shifts on her seat. 
But the staring still doesn't stop.
"Harry!" She chuckles, and looks away. 
And he still doesn't even flinch.
Oh, c'mon! That's ridiculous. 
It's like going back to university, honestly. He used to do the same when they were younger, usually at a pub or a club. He would stare at her like that until she stumbled over her own words, or until she forgot what she was about to do. He thought it was hilarious, but she never understood the point of it. 
"Knock it off, will ya?" She crosses her arms on top of her chest and rolls her eyes. "I was just thinking."
Harry (finally) laughs, face lighting up again — with dimples and wrinkles and almost fully-closed eyes.
He moves his arm, and puts a paper cup in front of her face. 
Aurora snaps her brows together.
"Sorry, love, I was just testing my skills," he says.
Aurora flinches her head back.
Why is he shoving that cup in her eyes? 
And also… "What skills?"
He shrugs. "Y'know, to rile you up just by looking at you." 
Harry presses his lips together, as if he can't wait to burst out laughing.
And Aurora knows that face, because Noah does the exact same thing. The cheeky little monster loves to surprise her, but he can never hold up a lie. He gives out the entire thing just by looking at her with the same excitement on his face. 
They honestly look the same. Except Noah is only four, and Harry a thirty-year-old man.
"Ha ha," she mocks him, looking away from his silly face. "You and my four-year-old son would be great friends."
"Aww!" Harry takes his seat next to her, chuckling and throwing an arm around her shoulders to pull her closer to his side. "I'm sure we would." 
She rolls her eyes. 
Harry squeezes her cheek against his chest, and she's so close to his body that she can smell the soap and cologne emanating from his skin. He smells good. Like a fresh shower. It's a nice combination, something both strong and smooth at the same time.
Shit.
She pulls away, and shakes her head. 
"It wasn't a compliment," she murmurs. 
Harry chuckles.
"Yeah, I'm aware of that." He withdraws his arm from around her shoulders and takes it back to his side, then puts his hand back in front of her face. The one holding a paper cup. "Now, this is for you."
Aurora raises her eyebrows. 
"And what's this supposed to be, exactly?" 
"Just try it." 
She doesn't make any movement to acknowledge his request, but Harry also doesn't make any movement to hint he'll stop shoving the cup on her face. Eventually, she sighs, and her entire body falls. 
"Harry…" 
"Oh, c'mon! Just a sip. Amuse me, yeah?"
Aurora glances at his hand, then back at his face. She presses lips together, then finally uncrosses her arms and lifts one of them to reach the cup, curling her fingers around it. 
For the sake of not ruining her mood, she ignores the way he cheers, or how he grins proudly before leaning his back against the backrest of his seat. She simply clutches the cup between both hands, instead, and its warmth is a high contrast with her cold skin. She can't help but hum at the feeling, and then she shivers, even her chin trembling a little. 
A timid chuckle escapes from her mouth, and she closes her eyes. She brings the cup up to her face and puts her nose close to the lid, breathing the flavor in. 
And just like that, her chest tightens. 
The smell is unmistakable, a combination between coffee and caramel that she would recognize anywhere, anytime. 
She blinks her eyes open, and turns her head to look at him. 
Harry is watching her attentively, without any traces of amusement or playfulness surrounding him anymore.
Aurora blinks a couple of times, gathering enough strength to ask him, "Did you… Did you get me a caramel coffee?" 
He nods once, only one side of his mouth lifting up. "Yeah."
She looks back at the cup in her hands, and blinks again. 
"Why?"
"I don't know," he says, softly. "Intuition, maybe. I know you already had your black coffee, but I… I don't know. I felt like you needed it? I don't know. Actually, now that I'm thinking about it, it sounds stupid. Is that okay? Hope I didn't—"
She nods rapidly — unable to speak, but also desperate for him to stop explaining himself. 
And thankfully, he does. 
Aurora doesn't know what to say about it, though. She doesn't even know if there's anything she can say about it. 
His words don't sound stupid to her. That's for sure. The thing is that Harry doesn't understand the meaning his gesture actually holds, which scares her. He was able to pick up on something she needed when she wasn't brave enough to admit it to herself in the first place. And it was something so trivial… It was just coffee. Coffee.
"Noah does that sometimes, y'know," Aurora murmurs, looking at the mass of people in front of them. She hunches down a bit, not bothering by her awful posture as she comforts herself with the hot beverage in between her hands. Changing the subject is the only way she knows how to answer him right now, so she keeps going. "Sleeping with his eyes half open. It freaks me out."
Harry hums.
"There's a name for that, isn't it?" 
His voice is as soft and calm as before, and Aurora nods.
"Yeah, nocturnal something… I don't know. I always forget the stupid word." She rolls her eyes, and a humorless laugh leaves her mouth, making her body shake. "How do people even choose these names, huh? Why bother naming it if it's gonna be some ridiculous word no-one can even pronounce?"
"That's… Yeah, I don't know. You have a point, though."
"Sorry," she whispers, looking down at her lap. "Zack drives me insane using all those terms all the time. Makes me feel stupid."
Harry doesn't say anything, but for once the silence between them doesn't feel uncomfortable. 
She exhales the frustration out of her body, taking the cup to her mouth and sipping carefully in case it burns her tongue. 
The coffee touches her lips, and its sweetness automatically invades all of her senses. Her tongue tastes the caramel, and there's something bitter behind it, but it is mostly mellow and buttery. Just like she remembers it. 
And just like that, she's remembering all of it. 
She's flooded with memories from the comfort of home, and about the fun of living. Memories with simpleminded thoughts and unpretentious actions. 
She's back to a place where she isn't scared of speaking her mind all the time, where she isn't afraid of letting people down by her silly behavior, where she isn't terrified of her personality being the embarrassment of those around her. She's back to a place where she knows her friends and family like her for who she is, and where she's proud of her because of that. 
She's full of affectionate touches, sincere words, and genuine feelings.
There's confidence inside her, and an entire world she's willing to find out. 
And when she finally gulps down the simplest sip of caramel coffee, warmth takes over her throat. It reverberates through every inch of her body, and she shivers — her body filling with goosebumps as she closes her eyes to the paradoxical feeling. 
A moment passes, and the weight of a soft textured fabric lands on her back.
"Before you say anything," Harry's deep voice murmurs next to her, and she opens her eyes to look at him. "I'm not wearing it. And it's driving me insane seeing you so cold, so please just wear it."
Aurora glances at her shoulders, finding Harry's checked jacket covering her skin. It feels good, and it feels warm. And she actually doesn't mind it. At all. But there's something about the way Harry has just talked to her that flies directly into Aurora's heart. 
Maybe it's the softness of his voice. Or maybe how worried he sounded. Or maybe the fact that he seems to pay attention to her. Or maybe just because he acts as if he knows her so well. Even after so many years without talking to her. Or seeing her.
Or maybe it's just because she's already on edge because of the damn caramel coffee he bought especially for her.
She doesn't know exactly what it is, but something in his words triggers her into instantly tearing up. She can't help the overreaction, and before she can figure out a way to hide it, the evidence of her crying falls down her cheek, and she's taking a hand up to wipe it off her.
"Auri, hey…" 
Harry's hand lands on her back. The last push she needs to turn into an emotional wreck. A sob bursts out of her chest, and she covers her mouth. Oh my God. 
"Auri, love, I'm sorry… Did I… I can get the jacket back, I didn't—"
She shakes her head and puts the coffee between her thighs, then takes both hands up to her face. She uses her palms to wipe down the tears from her cheeks, and a long and shaky sigh leaves her mouth. 
Harry takes the cup from between her legs, putting it down on the floor before shifting closer to her. His knees bump into the side of her thigh, and the hand that isn't on her back brushes softly her jaw, getting rid of another tear.
"I'm… I'm sorry," she whispers. "You're fine. You didn't… You didn't do anything wrong."
The last thing she wants is for him to see her like that. They haven't seen each other for so long… She doesn't want to welcome him back to her life with tears and drama. She also doesn't want him to feel guilty about something that has nothing to do with him. 
"Ok…" He sounds wary, and while one hand rubs circles on her back, the other grabs her hand. "What's going on, tho? What can I do to help?" 
Once again, Aurora shakes her head. "I'm… I'm fine. I think I'm just… I'm  just exhausted from not sleeping last night."
It isn't a lie, but it also isn't the truth. She doesn't want to admit how lonely she constantly feels, because she wants to learn how to be alone. It doesn't make sense to ask for help when all she wants is to learn how to not need help.
"Why didn't you sleep?" 
"It's nothing. Really… Don't worry about me, I'm just being dramatic right now."
He strokes his thumb up and down on the back of her hand, and Aurora sighs, leaning into the warmth of his jacket. 
Warmth. Apparently that's all she craves now. 
"Of course I worry about you, Auri. And I'm here if you need anything, ok?" 
She nods, but his care for her brings another wave of tears, and she hides behind one hand while the other holds tightly onto him. 
"C'mere," he murmurs, dragging the hand on her back to her shoulder and pulling her to his chest. 
She can't believe the amount of times she's been hugged by him in merely a couple of hours, but she doesn't fight him. In fact, she does quite the opposite: she snuggles into him and cries quietly. And when Harry squeezes her shoulders, she squeezes his fingers in response. 
"Talk to me, love, please. What's going on?"
She sniffs. "Nothing…"
He rubs her arm, softly and tenderly, then carefully adds, "I don't wanna force you, but I can tell something's up and I'm worried about you."
Aurora shakes her head, feeling the desperation in her body slip out of her mouth as she cries to him. "Please don't... I don't want… I don't wanna worry you, ok? I really don't. I don't want to bother you. I'm just… Overreacting. I'll be fine. I'll be—"
"Auri, that's not—"
"Yes. Yes it is. It's just—"
"Stop doing that," he says, squeezing her shoulder. "You keep shutting me off every time I try to explain myself."
"Sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to, I swear. I'm sorry—"
"Auri—
"—I'm so sorry—"
"—It's okay—"
"—I really am—"
"Auri, hey!" He pulls back, grabbing her shoulders with both hands and forcing her to look at him. His eyes are warm and caring as he stares inside hers, but there's a frown all over his face that screams something different. Annoyance, perhaps? Or maybe… Frustration? "Listen to me. It's fine, ok? There's no need for you to apologize. It's fine."
She squeezes her eyes shut, shaking her head. "No…"
"Yes, it's fine, Auri."
"It's not—"
"Yes—" 
"No!" Aurora opens her eyes, but tears quickly blurry her sight. She blinks, and before she knows it, she's fully sobbing and crying again. "It's not fine! Ok?! I'm not… I'm not fine, Harry. I'm not! I'm falling apart and I just… It's like I can't stop… And I just… I hate it, ok? I really do… I keep letting everyone down. And I… Fuck… I have no idea how… How am I supposed to spend the entire weekend…. The entire weekend pretending my life isn't a mess right now? I just… I can't… I can't pretend… I'm not… I can't…"
There's only a beat of silence before Harry pulls her into his chest again, squeezing her shoulders while he takes a long, deep, and heavy breath in. Then exhales loudly through his nose. 
"I don't know what's going on with your life right now," he says softly, resting his chin on the top of her head and closing his eyes while she sobs into his chest. "And I know I haven't been around, but I'm here for you, ok?" 
And just like before, Aurora melts into him. She hugs his waist, and leans against his body despite the uncomfortable and public position they're in. Crying all the tears she's been holding in so far. Silently sharing with him all the hurt, the doubts, and the insecurities she's been feeling. All the blaming, the questioning, and the yelling she's been hiding. Letting him absorb the wreck she is turned into after six years of marriage. All the failures. All the mistakes. All the countless "should've done better", and also "should've tried harder".  She lets it all out. With no hold backs, nor regrets.
"And you don't have to pretend, Auri," he adds. "At least not to me. Not even a little bit. Never… Why would you even pretend, huh? I can't be there for you if you don't let me know your life's a mess, and I want to be there for you. You know I do, yeah?"
Aurora can't answer him, not when her body's turning everything inside her into tears and sobbing, but he doesn't seem to be waiting for any words. Nor reactions. He rubs her back gently, while still holding her tightly, and then just keeps talking. 
"Besides, I don't expect anything from you, so—I mean, wait… That's not—Shit. That didn't sound good."
And despite everything, despite all the pain and all the tears and all the fears, a soft and low chuckle escapes from Aurora's chest. 
"That came out wrong… It's not—It's not what I wanted to say. Because of course I expect things from you, like… You're brilliant. You're amazing. You can do amazing things if you want to, ok? I know you can. What I meant is that—That there's no pressure, y'know? That's all. And that no matter what you do or what you say, nothing will change... I mean, I haven't been around, but you don't have to pretend things are good if they aren't, y'know? I'll be your friend even if… I don't know… Even if everything's falling apart… Actually, I want to be there especially when everything's falling apart, ok? So yeah, I just—Jesus Christ." He sighs. "Fuck. Auri please tell me you know what I'm trying to say here because I'm just freaking myself out right now."
Aurora's chuckle turns into laughter, and she nods against his chest, taking one hand up to her face to wipe off the last few tears. 
"I do, yes." She clears her throat, trying to get rid of some of the scratchiness. "Relax. I got it from the beginning." 
Harry smiles and sighs again, squeezing her shoulders. "Could've said something, huh? Stop me there. Save me the embarrassment, maybe?"
"You said I kept cutting you off when you tried to explain yourself, so…" Aurora shrugs. 
"Ohh, I see. Okay." Harry laughs. "We should work on your timing, then. Smartass."
She smiles, and sniffs. "My timing's perfect. It was cute, and I was having fun."
"Of course you were."
Although she can't see him, the smile is obvious in his voice, and she sighs. A long and heavy sigh. One that's strong enough to relax her entire body, and that makes her close her eyes and drop her shoulders. 
"Thank you," she murmurs, still into his chest.
"Yeah," he murmurs back. "Anytime, love." 
There's a pause between them. And then Harry speaks again.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"Not really, to be honest… At least not right now."
"Ok…" 
Another pause, and then… 
"Is there anything I can do to help?"
She takes a deep, long breath in, then exhales while snuggling into his chest.
"Can we just… Stay like this for another minute? Just… Y'know… In silence?"
"Hm… So you want me to shut up, is that it?"
Aurora chuckles. 
"Well, I wouldn't put it like that, but…"
Harry chuckles, too. 
"'S fine. I don't mind. We can stay like this for as long as you want."
And so they do. 
They hug for a while. In silence. A tight embrace that's simple, but that's also intense enough to let her know that he's there for her. 
Aurora can't remember the last time she's been held like this, with honest tenderness and affection. The kind of hug that she doesn't question, and that comes naturally. That feels natural. 
"This was supposed to be a fun weekend," she murmurs, curling a little bit more into him and closing her eyes to avoid facing the world. "Can't believe I'm seeing you for the first time in years and already bringing all this drama to you."
Harry chuckles lightly. 
"Don't be silly, ok? We've been over this already… We're friends and this is what friends are for." He kisses the top of her head, and then rests his cheek against the same place. "Besides, we didn't leave London yet. We can still have plenty of fun."
Aurora sighs. "God. I really need to have some fun. I miss having fun."
"I'll make sure you get more than some."
He squeezes her shoulder, and Aurora smiles.
Still with her eyes closed, and pressing her ear against his chest, she listens to his heartbeat, and to the way he breathes. He isn't calm, but he is steady, and somehow comfortable. So she focuses on him, and only him. As if mimicking his rhythm, or syncing with his pace, could make everything in her life feel better. 
Harry sighs against her, and when the thumping inside him gets faster, she pulls one arm from around his waist to rest her hand on the left side of his chest. She spreads her fingers open where his heart is, and breathes in and out slowly, hoping to calm him down again. 
He takes one hand to her neck, sliding it to the back of her head and tangling his fingers with her hair. 
As he scratches her scalp, Aurora can feel every muscle of her body fully relaxing. It's soothing. And it's safe. There's no other place she would rather be right now, and she's convinced that, as long as she's holding him and he's holding her, she'll finally relax and rest like she hasn't been able to in so long. 
"Have you always been such a great hugger?" she asks, her voice as soft and as slow as her body feels.
Harry clears his throat, then murmurs, "I don't know." 
Aurora hums. 
Another moment passes, until she breaks the silence again.
"I'm sorry for being a shitty friend."
"You're not a shitty friend."
"But I am, tho. I have no idea what's going on with your life… It's been so long and I… I never reached out."
Harry sighs, and shifts on his seat. 
Aurora follows his movements, making sure the hug doesn't end even when he seems to be pulling away. 
He doesn't, though — pull away. He simply leans back on his seat, pulling her along with him. And because she's still comfortable against his chest, she doesn't see the way his face falls, how he presses his lips together in a hard line, or glares at random people passing by.
"It's fine," he eventually says. 
And she's so focused on her own past behavior, that she also doesn't notice the slight change in his voice.
"It's not, though."
"I never reached out either, did I? And I should have… I just… I should have." 
She fidgets with the fabric of his shirt, and although it takes her a moment to answer, the words fly easily out of her mouth. "I'm not sure if it would've made any difference, to be honest… I've pushed everyone away, would've done the same to you." 
"There's no fucking way I would've let you."
"It wouldn't be up to you, tho."
A ding-ding-dong blares from the speakers in the lounge area. 
"Attention passengers on Ryanair flight 1832 to Naples, we are now ready for boarding at gate 56. Passengers on Ryanair flight 1832 to Naples, we are now ready for boarding at gate 56. Boarding is for business class and passengers with…"
The attendant's voice fades as Aurora stops paying attention to it. She blinks her eyes open and, against her wishes, pulls away from Harry's arms.
"Finally," she breathes out.
When she looks at him, she finds nothing but honesty and affection inside his eyes, and it's enough to make her heart skip a beat. 
She curves her lips into a smile, then brings her hands up to wipe the dry tears from her cheeks. "Thank you."
Harry smiles, too. "You've said that already."
"I know." She nods, dropping her hands back to her lap. "I just… Thank you, really. For now and… And for the coffee. Even though I forgot to drink it."
He takes one hand to her face, and puts some of her hair behind her ear.
"We'll have time for another one," he says, then stares into her eyes again. "Yeah?"
"Yeah…" She gulps down, captivated by his gaze. "I think… I think it'd be nice if we could catch up, right? I mean, there's so much about you that I don't know…" 
Harry smiles, although it doesn't reach his eyes. 
"There isn't anything crazy to know about me."
Aurora furrows her brows. 
"Well I don't need crazy information, Harry," she scoffs, making sure the tone of her voice is carrying some playfulness while she rolls her eyes. "I just wanna know what's up with your life… Where do you live? Do you have any dogs, or cats? Where do you work? Do you have a girlfriend? Do you have any kids? Are you married? I don't know…"
Harry stares blankly at her for a moment, then looks away, reaching for their bags. 
"Those are too many questions, love."
Aurora shrugs. 
"Well, yeah…" She leans down and picks up her coffee. The cup feels cold, and although she's sad she didn't get to drink it, she wouldn't change anything about what happened in the last… Well, however long it's been since they got here. "I know. I'm curious. That's why I said it'd be nice to catch up."
She stands up and rearranges Harry's jacket, putting it on properly so it doesn't fall from her shoulders, then waits while he stands as well, picking their bags from the seat next to his.
"Ok, yeah. Sure. We can catch up." 
"Wow." She snorts and widens her eyes. "Calm down, now. Don't sound sooo excited, please."
Harry laughs. He puts his own bag on his shoulder, and she takes hers from his hand. 
"I'd love for us to catch up, Auri. I really would."
"Okay…" She narrows her eyes at him, putting her bag on her shoulder and walking towards the line. "Are you hiding something from me?"
Harry follows her, grabbing his boarding pass and passport from the front pocket of his bag. "Why would I hide something from you?"
"I don't know…" She throws the coffee cup away, then adds, "Maybe you're working with the FBI. Or, maybe you're married to someone who works for the FBI. Ohhhhh," — she widens her eyes, looking at him while he leads their way to the gate — "or maybe, you're married to someone who's being investigated by the FBI!"
Harry chuckles through his nose. He sneaks his hands inside Aurora's bag, pulling her boarding pass and passport from it.
"There's no FBI involved, I promise," he says, handing her the items. 
"Hmmm…" She grabs her things from his hand, and nibbles her bottom lip before asking, "But you're married to someone?" 
"Nop." 
"Okay… Dating to someone?"
He shakes his head, and Aurora nods.
"Are relationships a touchy subject, maybe?"
Harry smirks, and that's more than enough to give Aurora an answer, but she still waits for him to say something. 
Anything.
"I broke up with someone not too long ago." He shrugs. "So I'm not in the mood for relationships right now, to be honest. And that includes talking about it." 
The line moves quickly, and they take a step forward. 
"Oh, sure. Yeah. I get it. Of course." Aurora nods. "I'm sorry, tho. Y'know, that it didn't work out."
He shrugs, and they walk again.
"'S fine." 
The shift in his behavior is loud and clear, and it bothers her. The idea of someone breaking Harry's heart deep enough for the pain to overshadow his excitement and dull the brightness of his smile doesn't feel right. So it bothers her. It really does. Whoever it was, he surely deserved someone much better. He surely deserves someone better.
A flight attendant welcomes them with a grin and a cheerful good morning. Aurora smiles back, and hands him her passport and boarding pass, then waits for him to return them. He wishes her a safe flight, and repeats the same process with Harry. 
Aurora waits for him in silence, and once they're both ready to walk through the airgate, she picks the conversation back on. 
"I'm sure you'll find someone, y'know? It won't be that hard. You're still young, and dating was never a problem for you, so…"
There's a pause, and then Harry snorts. "Dating was never a problem for me? What's that supposed to mean?"
"Y'know… That's what you, Niall and Jayden used to do all the time, wasn't it? Dating and… Flirting and hooking up with everyone?"
Harry stops walking and turns to stare at her in silence, with widened eyes and flared nostrils. 
Aurora stops, too, biting her lip to hold back her amusement while waiting for him to say something. 
He doesn't, but he eventually laughs, throwing his head back and making her fully smile at him. He shakes his head, and starts walking again.
"Jeez, Auri, I'm so offended right now."
"Oh c'mon…" She chuckles, following his steps. "I meant it as a compliment, okay? Like… Girls were always into you, that's all."
"Not all girls, though."
"Fine." She shrugs. "Ninety-five percent of them, then."
He snorts again. "Ok."
"How old were you when we met? Twenty? Twenty-one?"
"Nineteen."
"Oh shit, really?"
"Yeah, it was my second year. Why?"
"Nothing. I think… For a moment I just forgot you're so much younger than me, that's all."
"C'mon, not so much, I'm almost thirty now."
"Well, yes, but I'm thirty-five."
"See? Same age."
She chuckles. "We're not the same age."
"Ok, but almost."
"Not even close, Harry."
"Oh c'mon! Then what are you now? Ancient? Should I call you grandma?"
She chuckles. "Well… I do feel ancient, to be honest."
He rolls his eyes. "This is ridiculous. You're just as young as I am."
She shakes her head. 
"Yeah, I mean, I know that… But I don't know… I mean, talking to you right now I don't feel like you're younger, y'know? Let alone that much. But also—"
"It's not that much."
"No, I know. But if you think about it, I already got married and I have a four-year-old at home, so like, I really am too old and—What?" Harry is frowning at her, and she tilts her head. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
He shrugs, then faces forward, away from her. "I'm trying to decide if I should kick your ass right now or just throw you into the ocean later."
She gasps, but then she chuckles. "What? Whyyy?"
Harry raises his eyebrows at her. "I'm only five years younger than you, Auri. Five. It's not even a big deal."
She sighs.
The line in front of them moves, and they move forward as well. 
"Sorry. You're right. Like I said, it doesn't feel like it right now, but I think… I don't know. When you were 19 and I was 24 it was different, yeah? I mean, we were in different stages of our lives. I was meeting Zack and you were—" 
"Yes, I know. I was there, remember?" 
She swallows down, and nods. 
"Sorry," she repeats, much softer this time. 
Aurora walks in silence, staring at the plane at the end of the hallway. 
She pretends to ignore the way Harry keeps glancing at her, or how he rubs the back of his neck, or how he rolls his shoulders. She knows she bothered him, and the idea of causing a scene when they're about to get into a plane feels terrifying. She should've kept her mouth shut, that way she wouldn't have them put them in that situation. Again.
It's like she's been riding on a rollercoaster she never knew she would get into in the first place. Going through multiple sudden changes of speed and directions. Slowly climbing a steep slope and painfully anticipating the fall before she actually drops directly into the ground. Holding herself during the unexpected tight turns and sharp curves, and gasping for air at every inverted loop. Experiencing the ups and downs of gravity as she's weightless and happy at the top of the hill, then all of a sudden her own personality is pushing her back down to reality. And by the end of it, the back of her throat hurts, her stomach feels funny, and there's just heaviness all over her body. 
"Hey," Harry calls. 
He shifts his bag from one shoulder to the other and puts his arm around her, pulling her closer even though they're still walking. He kisses the top of her head, and keeps his lips there as he speaks. "'M sorry. Shouldn't have cut you off like that."
Aurora shrugs. "It's fine." 
"It's not. We were just joking and I… I took it personally, 'm sorry."
He kisses her head, again, and her lashes flutter. 
She knows he's sorry, but she doesn't know what to say to him. She knows how easy it is for her to forgive when she shouldn't, and how many times in the last six years she believed in empty apologies. 
So although she knows, she isn't sure she can trust herself. 
She hasn't been trusting herself for a while now. 
A new flight attendant welcomes them into the plane, and they both pull away from each other.
Aurora walks in front of Harry, and she does her best to smile genuinely at the cheerful woman that's wishing them a good morning and a good flight. 
She holds the strap of her bag tightly on her shoulder, and walks through the narrow carpeted aisle, focusing on the numbers and letters above the seats as if she's looking for specific ones. She pauses here and there for other passengers that are getting settled, and it's only past the emergency door that Harry speaks again.
"Should we sit here?" he asks. He's pointing to the opposite side where she's facing, so she turns around, finding three empty seats.  
"Okay." 
She nods, and tilts her chin up to check the space to put her bag. Harry is quicker, though, because he is already closing his fingers around the strap on her shoulder and pushing it away from her arm.
"I'll put our bags together, yeah?" 
She doesn't want to fight him about it, so she simply thanks him with the best smile she can offer and allows him to easily grab her duffel bag. 
She slides through the two empty seats to reach the one by the window, not waiting any longer to secure the seat belt and make herself comfortable. Once she's settled, she clasps her hands together, and takes a deep breath in. Her chin trembles, and she looks down, biting the inside of her cheek. She doesn't want to cry again. She really doesn't want to cry again.
Also, she needs to sleep. She must get some sleep. There is absolutely no way she is going to handle spending the entire day awake, and if she doesn't sleep now, she'll only get an opportunity again at the yacht — meaning she won't get to spend any time with her friends. 
Harry sits next to her and puts his own belt on, then turns off his phone and shoves it into his pocket. Aurora doesn't look at him, but he turns sideways anyway, leaning his shoulder on the back of the seat and blocking them from any possible curious eyes. 
He grabs one of her hands from her lap and takes her fingers to his mouth, placing a long kiss to her knuckles before sighing. 
"Auri, love," his voice is soft, and a whisper for only them to hear, "I really am sorry." 
She nods, taking her free hand to wipe a tear before it could roll down her cheek.  
Shit.
"Please, don't cry."
"Mhm."
"Auri… Look at me, please."
She shakes her head, then. Because she knows that she'll fall apart all over again if she looks at him.
God, she's so tired.
"I didn't…" she murmurs, then takes a deep breath and tries again. "I didn't mean anything bad by the age thing… I promise."
"I know that, love. Of course I know," he says, pressing another kiss to her hand. "Fuck. I know. We were just joking. And I'm not mad about it, I promise. I mean, I was actually a stupid hormonal teenager back when we met, so yeah… You're right, things were different. But please, Auri, I hate that I made you cry just because I… Shit, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. It wasn't about you, I promise."
She stares at her knees and nods, because she knows he is. And she also knows she can trust him, which is probably why she — finally — honestly blurts out, "I keep messing everything up, y'know? All the time."
He brushes his thumb on the back of her hand, then murmurs back to her, "What do you mean?"
"I don't know. I just… I keep letting everyone down, and I hate it, but it's like I can't stop it. And I mean, to be honest I don't… I don't even recognize myself anymore. I used to have so much fun, and I felt so different about life… And I treated people around me so differently… And now I'm just… I don't know… I don't know why I say things, or why I do things. I don't know what I want, or what to do with my life… And I feel so… Lonely… All the damn time. But I get why I'm lonely, y'know? I mean it's true that I don't know how to be anything else besides being Noah's mum. And I'm so insensitive to other people because of that, and I keep saying things I shouldn't and I just… I look back and I realize how I pushed everyone away… How I… I don't know, I'm so tired of this. I'm just so tired of myself."
There is a pause between them, mostly because Harry's waiting for the people in front of them to settle and stop prying at their conversation. 
It's good, though, because it gives her time to catch her breath again.
And then, Harry leans deeper into his seat, still holding tightly to her hand.
"Is that how he made you feel?"
Aurora furrows her brows. "What—Who?"
"Zack. Is that how Zack made you feel?"
"I… No! Why—I mean, I'm just… I'm talking about myself." 
"Auri, c'mon… I know you're talking about yourself, but I can read between the lines."
She closes her eyes and takes her hand up to her face, rubbing her forehead while she prepares herself to just keep blurting out what her mind is begging her to tell him.
"I think…" she says, dropping her hand back to her lap and blinking. "I think he really messed me up, y'know?"
Harry sighs. 
It takes him a moment to say something. A moment that feels really, really long to her. 
And then… 
"Fuck." He puts his arm around her shoulders and pulls her to his chest, murmuring while resting his cheek on the back of her head, "I'm sorry."
She shrugs, snuggling into him and searching for his heartbeat, just like before.
"'S not your fault."
"But I should've been there for you."
"You wouldn't have known." 
"Still… This isn't how it was supposed to be." 
God, she's so tired… 
Her entire body is heavy, and she doesn't even know what's happening around them anymore. She can't even make sense of their conversation anymore. 
Harry feels too cozy, though, and she knows she's about to have the comfiest sleep of her life — she can feel it.  
"Harry?"
"Hm?"
"I got divorced six months ago."
Harry closes his eyes, then rearranges himself on his seat and pulls her closer to him.
"I know."
.
.
.
"You know? How?" 
"Niall."
"Oh. Okay?" 
"I texted him while you were getting your coffee."
She places her hands on his hips, holding her weight to pull away from him. 
Harry doesn't let her, though, squeezing her inside of his arms and locking her in. 
"Please stay," he murmurs. 
And Aurora doesn't fight him. She just relaxes again — she relaxes and listens to him. 
"You weren't wearing a ring… And I could tell something was up, so I… I asked him. That's all. Sorry if I shouldn't have, but I couldn't help it. I needed to know."
"Oh…" The concept of time is foggy inside her mind, but she's pretty sure a few seconds go by before she speaks again. "'S okay, I guess. I mean… Niall knows about the divorce, but he doesn't… He doesn't know the whole story. He doesn't know how bad it was."
"Does anyone know?"
"You?" She chuckles, but it's humorless, because she knows that not even Harry truly knows. "I just… I haven't been able to talk about it yet, or like… Process it, I think. I don't know. I keep justifying him a lot, which I'm learning it's something I shouldn't do."
He makes his cheek comfortable on top of her head, then takes one hand to play with her hair, scratching her scalp. "It can't be easy to go through something like this on your own, tho."
"I know…" She closes her eyes, appreciating his affectionate touch. "My mum's helping me a lot… She had to go back home now, but she spent over a month with me. Makes sure I don't skip therapy… Stuff like that."
"Hmm…" Harry says, and his voice echoes inside her body. "Always liked her. Smart one."
Aurora curls her mouth up. "Yeah…" 
Another moment goes by, and Aurora is filled with lightness as her body slowly drifts into sleep. 
"Thank you for telling me this, Auri."
"Mhmm… It's weird… To like, talk about it."
"I'll always listen. Whenever you want to talk about it, I'll listen."
"Thank you… 'M really tired, tho... And I think my brain is going to explode…"
Harry chuckles. "Get some sleep, yeah? I'll wake you up when we're about to land."
"'Mkay." She hugs his waist, and nuzzles against his chest. "Can't believe this all happened and we didn't even leave the country yet."
"Tell me about it."
"Mm… 'Kay… I'll sleep now… You're comfy… And I think… I feel drunk…"
Chuckling again, Harry presses a kiss on the top of her head, then slides down a bit on his seat, and she cuddles a little bit more into him.
"Ok love," he says. "You can relax now, I got you." 
And although Aurora doesn't answer, she knows he does. 
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She doesn't need Harry to wake her up. 
Her brain drifts back to consciousness by itself, slowly making her aware of her surroundings way before the plane is even close to landing. 
She's warm, because of Harry's arms wrapped around her shoulders, but also because of his jacket covering her body. Her face is pressed against his shirt, and once again she's breathing from his skin. He still smells good — like a fresh shower — but now it's also mixed with a little bit of sweat, so it's somehow even better than before. 
It's hot. He's hot. Her insides feel hot.
She's also comfortable — so, so comfortable. It feels like she just took the best nap of her entire life. Like she's enveloped by a sense of calm and peace, a feeling that she doesn't want at all to end. Snuggled into his chest while his fingers keep playing with her hair, tracing random patterns on the back of her head. The movements are sweet, sweet enough to tempt her to go back to sleep. And she almost does. 
Except she can't. Not anymore. 
Because above all that, she can tell she's also kind of desperate. Clingy. Needy. Hugging his waist as if their flight landing in Italy depended on how tight her grip is. Both of her legs over his left thigh. His strong, firm thigh. She's holding onto him like a baby koala. A troubled one. A baby koala that's craving to be held by someone. Anyone. And as if she's terrified of the idea of being left behind while her mind shuts off from the real world. 
And maybe she is. Who knows.
She always liked to cuddle, and she hasn't properly cuddled in a really long time, so it's not a surprise. Still, it very quickly becomes embarrassing, and certainly not how Harry imagined things to go when, earlier in the airport, he offered his shoulder for her to take a quick nap. 
He offered his shoulder, not his entire body, for fucks sake!
So, against all wishes, Aurora stirs and groans — mostly because her mind is battling between sleeping for just two more minutes or acknowledging the reality of the world she's in — then pulls away from him. 
"Hmm…" She takes her hands up to her face, and rubs the last traces of sleepiness away from her puffy eyes, then sits back on her seat. "What time is it?" 
Next to her, Harry moves as well, withdrawing his arms from around her shoulders and placing his hands on his lap. 
"Must be around ten thirty now… Last time I checked was ten fifteen."
He sounds calm, so calm that she can't make any emotion out of his voice, so she turns her head to look at him.
Harry looks fully awake. Well rested. Peaceful. Soft. The only sign of him turning into her personal pillow are the wrinkles all over his shirt, but everything else looks… Perfect. Like heaven. He looks like heaven.   
"Hi…" He curls one side of his mouth up, and Aurora smiles, too.
"Hi…"
Only then it occurs to her that she's been staring at him, and she looks away, taking her hands to smooth out her hair then fix her dress.
"Did you sleep well?"
She nods, and takes his jacket off, instead using it like a blanket to cover her chest.
"Um, yeah… I did. Thanks. And thanks for… You know… Letting me crush on you? I mean, it probably wasn't comfortable for you, so… Yeah, thanks."
Harry scoffs, shuffling down on his seat and spreading his legs as wide open as he can. 
"Are you kidding me?" He takes both arms up and places his hands behind his head, resting on top of the palm of his hands. "You're a great cuddler. Went straight to my top five of all time."
The playfulness is clear in his words, which is why Aurora chuckles. Still, one question is loud and clear inside her mind: who are the other four great cuddlers? And most importantly, why isn't she his favorite one? 
The thoughts bring an uncomfortable feeling to her stomach, and she shifts on her seat. 
"That's kind of you to say, but you should see me during winter in the middle of the night… I'm like a baby koala and it's not a very pretty sight." 
"Huh." He smirks, and lifts his eyebrows. "Is that an offer?"
Aurora snorts and rolls her eyes, feeling her cheeks burn before she looks away. "Shut up."
Harry laughs, and just like that, everything between them goes back to normal. 
Getting into conversation with him is easy. Neither of them have seen their friends in a while, so they distract themselves by reminiscing old stories and laughing at silly things they used to do together. They also talk about Italy, about how neither of them have been to the country before, and how it's been a dream of both of them. They bond over small details, and find connections over silly things. And it's exactly what Aurora needs, as she finds out after minutes and minutes of light conversation and genuine giggles. 
It is only when they're about to land that her face falls again. 
Fully awake, the airplane movements become way more obvious than they did when taking off. And as soon as the belt sign goes on, and the pilot announces they're about to descend to Naples, Aurora's heartbeat speeds up.
She straightens up and leans her back fully against her seat, looking through the window at the bright sky. 
"Are you ok?" Harry asks. 
"Mhm…" She nods, and doesn't take her eyes off from the view. "Just… I don't like this part very much, that's all."
"Wanna hold my hand?" 
It is a nice offer, but one she doesn't think she should accept. So she doesn't. And as the plane gets closer and closer to land, every movement becomes even more clear. When it shakes, when it turns, when it's getting ready to touch the ground. 
She holds herself until the last minute. She holds herself tightly and firmly. Until it becomes too much, and one specific up and down of the airplane has her reaching for his hand.
It's like Harry is already waiting for her, to be honest, because she finds him quickly. Her sweaty and cold palm meets his warm one, and she turns her head to look at him. 
He's already watching her, and as soon as their eyes meet, his face lights up with a smile. 
Her belly quivers, and her chest tightens. 
"It'll be over in a minute," he says, squeezing her hand.
She nods, and swallows down, because it's the only thing she can do right now. She knows what he's talking about, and she knows it's true — they'll land, and everything will pass. 
Although something tells her that, whatever she's feeling right now, will not go away. It won't be over in a minute. It won't be over even when they're out and away from the plane. 
In fact, she's starting to believe that, as soon as Harry is next to her, looking at her like that, the fluttering in her stomach will never go away. 
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if you've made it here, say caramel coffee :')
also, thank you for reading.
dani :)
PART THREE
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erwinsvow · 2 months
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omg omg hi lovie!! I really loved your fic about secret bf rafe! I was wondering if you have a continuing part? If not Im literally on my hands and knees BEGGING for one!
oh my goodness this is so so so sweet!! you are SOOO nice thank you so much. i loved that lil fic so much :') i imagine they have lots of other encounters before that and also where they're almost caught.. & i think it's super goofy after everyone finds out. in my head one of the boys (i feel like jayj but maybe pope) also have a lil crush on her so it might be fun writing some stuff with rafe getting jealous/the boys getting jealous... what do you think!!!!!
yes of course of course of course. please let me know what else you'd like to see... for now i present how i imagine they met :) eee!
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The first time Rafe sees you, he's guiding Wheezie through the aisles of the library children's section.
"You know, Leah's mom lets her read Twilight. She said it's so good, she was up all night reading it."
"Yeah, well, Leah's mom also drinks too much wine at the club and probably forgot what that garbage is about. Find something here." Rafe glances through the books on the shelf, settling on a bright pink cover. "How's this? Strawberry Shortcake and the Sleepover?"
Wheezie makes a face at him.
"That's for, like, five year olds."
"Look, the pages are scented," he replies, ignoring her and flicking through the sheets to inhale the smell. He holds it over Wheezie's head, trying to entice her into picking it so they can get the hell out of here.
"No, Rafe, that's for little kids!"
"You're a little kid, incase you forgot."
"I'm not five anymore. I need to read what the big kids read. I bet they have Twilight here-"
"No way, Wheeze-" He's interrupted by the girl stocking the books on the shelves down the aisle.
"Excuse me?" you ask. It's quiet, like you don't want to impose.
At first, he's a little annoyed. You are imposing, because you're speaking over him trying to make sure Wheezie's childhood isn't getting destroyed by whatever the hell could be in those vampire books. But then he turns to answer you, and his snarky response dies in his throat. 
Rafe’s seen you before. He’s seen you on the beach and at the bonfire, nose in a book, sipping on a drink and keeping one eye on those dirty Pogues you call your friends. He’s never taken the time to notice you, though, not in passing. 
Rafe thinks he would remember if he’d noticed you then. You stand before him, a book in your hand, pretty eyes shining and a gentle smile gracing your face. You look nervous, like you don’t want to bother them. He thinks it’s sweet.
Wheezie looks up at him, mouth a little open, not replying. She pushes an elbow into the side of his leg.
“Are you gonna say anything?” He shoots a glare down at her.
“Yes?” he asks, and you approach them slowly. You’re wearing a lanyard around your neck, dangling over your short white dress and sweater, with a card hanging off the end that can only mean you work here.
“I just overheard and I was going to recommend some books for your age group, if you’d like?” you ask, looking down at Wheezie. Then you look up, glancing at him for approval.
“That would be great,” he replies, a little too quickly. You smile widely at Wheezie, guiding her to where you were organizing chapter books. 
About fifteen minutes later, Wheezie’s checking out at the counter with two Amelia Bedelia novels and another book about some girls who bake cupcakes. She’s using her very own library card, so Rafe stands back at the shelves, watching you sort the rest of the books on your cart while he leans against the frame.
“So, how long have you worked here, kid?” 
“Really?” you ask, glancing up from the Junie B. Jones book you were about to organize. “Are you really gonna try a pick-up line on me?”
“What’s so wrong with that?”
“I know who you are, Rafe. Are you really gonna hit on a dirty Pogue?” He blinks in surprise for a second. Maybe he underestimated you.
“So your little friends talk about me, huh? What exactly are they saying?”
“Contrary to what you might believe, Rafe, we don’t just sit around all day talking about you Kooks.” You turn to shelve the book, hiding a smile as you do. 
“Yeah, sure. Well you seem to know a lot about children’s books, that’s why I’m asking. I’m gonna be around here a lot.” You turn to stare at him for a second. “For Wheeze. She loves to read.”
“Yeah, sure.”
He notices Wheezie’s figure walking back towards him, three books tucked under her arm.
“Well, thanks for getting her away from that Twilight crap. Same time, next week?”
“Yeah, it’s a date,” you say, picking up another book. You only realize what you said a few seconds too late. “Wait, not-”
“Yeah, kid.” Rafe smiles at you, and you find it hard to look away. “It’s a date. See you then.”
He walks away with his sister, leaving you to wonder what you just got yourself into.
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