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illnessfaker · 3 years

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do you have any resources on OSDD? like more in depth than just the diagnostic criteria, i'm very familiar with those, i guess more...people talking abt what it feels like? I have cptsd and I've been noticing things very similar to what you described in your post for a long time now. I thought I had DID for sure a while ago, but I was also actively manic/psychotic, so when that calmed down I assumed I had just been delusional. But the identity disturbances and dissociation persist. I don't think it's DID now it's osdd if it's anything but I'm wary of saying that for sure and rly would like some i guess more descriptive accounts of how symptoms are for someone with it. Sorry if this is a lot/you don't have anything of that nature, I'm glad to hear you're figuring out your own multiplicity and hope the understanding helps you in your healing process!

firstly, thank you for your kind words 😊

@/this-is-not-dissociative has a lot of info about did/osdd-1 (and other dissociative stuff) as well as having did/osdd-1 vs. dissociation in bpd/cptsd - though it's possible to have did/osdd-1 and bpd/cptsd of course - and did-research.org talks about osdd-1 a little bit (especially vs. having full-blown did). these are probably the best resources i can point you towards even though they don't contain many personal accounts. the first blog is staunchly against self-dx iirc and there's a lot of "you should speak to a professional about this" but u know how it is (at the very least they provide a lot of info and resources on how to go about doing that, it seems.)

some posts in particular that may be informative/helpful to you (there are probably many reasons to dislike this blog but it's what i've found most informative so yeah):

anp and ep, + an explanation of structural dissociation and how it models ptsd, cptsd, bpd, osdd-1, and did.

anp and avoiding trauma

an example of did vs. osdd-1

parts in bpd/cptsd vs. osdd-1

parts in cptsd vs. osdd-1 (this mod "kevin" has osdd-1, by the way)

parts vs. fragments vs. alters

alters not being easy to recognize

identity confusion vs. identity alteration

( read-more bc this got long despite it being past my bedtime lmao )

the problem w personal accounts of stuff and did/osdd-1 is presentations of these diagnoes will differ from person to person, sometimes greatly. contrary to media depiction they're also covert disorders by nature - they're psychological coping mechanisms for intense distress, and part of those coping mechanisms is being ignorant to the fact that your sense of self is fragmented / there are parts of your sense of self that are attached to trauma. i know of several folks who were initially diagnosed with osdd-1 but then later re-diagnosed as having did because the severity of their situation was very effectively hidden from them by this dissociation.

( another problem is that ppl are flawed and can give bad/wrong info on how stuff works or trends can give the wrong impression and unfortunately that's very common w did/osdd-1 spaces online. e.g. u don't have to know the name, age, etc. or know who's "fronting" or whatever with elaborate tagging systems and pages on ur blog with said info abt ur parts or "alters" to have did/osdd-1. worrying abt that stuff too much can worsen dissociation. )

it's not common for someone to have did/osdd-1 and for it to be obvious to themselves or others (who don't know what to look for, that is). this is why no small number of folks with did/osdd-1 are seemingly well-functioning on the outside since different dissociated parts often serve "everyday life" purposes such as going to work/school and these parts are the ones disconnected from traumatic "materials" as they're called. part of the reason why i'm wanting to conceptualize my experiences as osdd-1 is due to the fact that my default state (the "host"?) is emotionally dissociated from my trauma - i know it happened, but it seemed like it happened to "this body" rather than "me" and i don't feel anything about it until i get triggered. "apparently normal parts" that handle everyday life are usually trauma-avoidant or separated from the trauma like this in some way.

that being said, i'm still not totally sure if i qualify for an osdd-1 diagnosis or not tbqh. my situation is most like the "some individuals with OSDD-1 lack both amnesia and highly distinct parts" mentioned in the page i above linked (but yesterday and this morning/afternoon i was convinced i did - go figure). i'd been researching did/osdd-1 for a while (not necessarily because i thought it was what i was experiencing) which is part of what helped me come to terms with having experienced dissociation for a long time, and i thought up until like...the other day i definitely didn't have it. i came to believe i had some weird bpd/cptsd/szpd-like situation where emotional states had been "locked away" in boxes that i rarely touched as a defense mechanism against psychological distress. i also had a metaphor for my "emotional part(s)" as it/them being like, (a) ghost(s) that follow me around and aren't evil but occasionally "wrap their hands around my throat" to remind me that they're there.

then i saw someone w an osdd-1 diagnosis talk abt how they have parts whose "job" is to "feel sadness for them" as a defense mechanism against that kinda distress and then i was like...huh. and then i thought about how seeing my parents again felt kinda weird and distant. and that's kinda what tipped me off, despite having a pretty unstable sense of self and dissociation issues for a while. the "seeing my parents" thing is somewhat more major, because it felt different from my "default setting." thinking about it is uncomfortable and weird.

ur gonna have to do a lot of reading, tbh, and doing it in moderation is probably a good idea since thinking too much abt dissociation can trigger it. another thing is that conceptualizing yourself as having did/osdd-1 when you don't actually have that experience can worsen dissociation/identity issues as well so u gotta be careful abt how u approach it. but at the same time, cptsd and did/osdd-1 have mostly the same treatment methods anyway (and technically u gotta have cptsd to have did/osdd-1, not as like a diagnostic requirement really but a "you have to be traumatized from long-term traumatic experiences at a young age" sense) so many resources abt did/osdd-1 may be helpful to u regardless of whether you "have" them or not.

i can't tell u how to differentiate between symptoms of psychosis and did/osdd-1 (the blog i mentioned may have posts about that topic - there's two in their master-posts but neither were particularly helpful i don't think) since afaik i'm not psychotic but i wish you luck!

#no reblogs -#asks #Anonymous #resources

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cithaerons · 4 years

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sasshomaru

nobody gives a fuck about americans we're all just tools for other countries' nationalism smh

it makes me so upset seeing posts from people from other countries when americans are like "my family has to pay for their medical bills on gofundme" and instead of giving a fuck nonamericans will be like "lmfao stupid americans that's what you get for being racist :)" (even tho minorities are mainly affected by that kind of thing!)

also when blm was really trending in may/june/july and there were a bunch of people online like "wow just goes to show how racist america is" as if anti-blackness isn't worldwide

it gets me heated bc I've been afraid of going inside malls and large public spaces even before covid bc I'm afraid of being in a mass shooting, I've had friends tell me not to take them to a hospital bc they'll never be able to afford the cost... hell me and my friend (who is Black) were stopped by a police officer and she and i talked afterwards abt how we both wondered if that would be the end for us bc we're both minorities. but we're just "stupid Americans" and

everyone else can use us for their excuses of "well our healthcare is bad but at least it's not America's! our racism is bad but not as bad as America's!"

anyway thanks for coming to my tedtalk

^^^^^

literally!!!!

and i can 100% verify your first point. in canada, this crap is almost never any kind of genuine critique about the united states & the imperialist shit that it’s done or even ever-present america-centrism, which is definitely a problem. it’s almost always framed as “unlike the shitty US, we don’t [major flaw we absolutely, 100% have]” - like, i’m fairly certain “unlike the US, we don’t have colonialist baggage” is a direct quote from PM justin trudeau like two years ago. (you can literally buy cutesy swag saying “the world needs more canada” & this goes basically unquestioned by the canadian left & center. the US sucks but i’m fairly certain only the most hardcore neo-con would feel comfortable wearing a shoulder bag saying “the world needs more united states of america.”) & i can you from my experience growing up in 92% white christian everyone-is-related rural canada, where racism & anti-blackness & anti-indigenous bigotry is real & intrinsic & largely unchallenged, this rhetoric is used as a tool to excuse the most toxic, horrifying shit.

it also makes me very uncomfortable that so much of the “dumb americans who are so racist, at least we’re not like that” is coming from former colonialist powers & their descendants. tbqh, many of the problems in the USA (& in Canada) stem directly from its colonialist history. also: 90% of my middle school & highschool history classes in canada were focused solely on western europe. almost no discussion of indigenous history - the history of the land we were actually on. virtually no discussion at all of latin american, asian, middle eastern, eastern europe, or african history - all of which are important to canada’s history & culture (& like. the world). to my understanding, american history classes are extremely similar in this regard (correct me if i’m wrong). this is the fault of the US & canada & our culture that views western europe as superior to all other cultures, and not the fault of modern day british & europeans. but when people from former colonialist powers in western europe say “ugh, shut up, we’ve been indoctrinated into thinking that the world revolves around you :(” anytime someone (ahem, me, living in not the US) mentions an issue in north america --- to be quite frank, it goes both ways! and i’m truly not trying to diss anyone here - i think mutual empathy & understanding are really important.

#replies #long post #sorry!!

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thelegendofclarke · 5 years

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I'm a jonsa fan, but she straight up nailed you, unfortunately. Just own up to it. You claimed something that was clearly a lie and they've pulled receipts on you that shows it was a lie. Honestly, the more jonsa fans that behave like lunatics about daenerys and call her crazy shit, the worse jonsa fans look. We all need to chill out.

Nailed me on WHAT? And own up to WHAT?? And WHAT tf do those so called “receipts” show, exactly?!?

Did you happen to miss the part where she said, “ETA: oh wait i DIDN’T actually send her those links that I SPECIFICALLY SAID I SENT HER but she’s still a terrible person who I hate sooo…” (x)

And no, I didn’t want to get involved. I was TRYING to take a step back from wank and a step back from fandom in general (both for fandom related reasons and for personal reasons, many of which I told this person but would rather not publicly get into detail about). A fact that I told this person MULTIPLE TIMES, and yet they STILL continued to bring up wank to me and drag me into it and demand I insert myself into conversations and situations that made me uncomfortable, which I refused to do as is my right. You can count on one hand the number of times I have actually TALKED about D on my blog. I don’t like the conversation that surrounds her, it is unpleasant, unproductive and (CLEARLY) toxic af. I don’t know why I have the ~responsibility~ to talk about things I have never talked about in the first place or what ~accountability~ I have for things I have never fucking talked about. And I NEVER said there wasn’t toxicity or issues in the fandom when we talked and on the NUMEROUS occasions where they continued to try to show me wank when I specifically said I was trying to AVOID WANK and had it Blacklisted, TS-ed, blocked, and filtered all I possibly could. They were forcing things on me that I was not seeing BY DESIGN for my own personal reasons which I explained to them on more than one occasion. Me saying “I didn’t fucking see this” isn’t me saying “that didn’t happen,” CLEARLY it happened given that they showed it to me. They are just completely misrepresenting what occurred here.

(Oh and not to mention that the times that I DID get involved or try to do something, they were deemed “not good enough“ or “not supportive enough” or “not specific enough.” Remember the Love Train thing I tried to do to be supportive after the whole Campfire Fuckplot bullshit? Yeah, apparently that was me just trying to “bury them in wank.” Like, I cannot even EXPLAIN to y’all how draining and degrading and fucking depressing it is to have people CONSTANTLY nitpicking your every goddamn move and word trying to find some kind of insidious intent and make everything you do or say a personal insult to them. To CONSTANTLY have people hinting at or vague blogging about or a lot of times just down right telling you what a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad person and friend you are. To be CONSTANTLY accused of using people for popularity, of being fake, of lying, of gaslighting. And all this coming from people who are supposed to be your “friends,” it’s NEVER ENDING and it’s just awful to be around tbqh.)

(And it’s REALLY CUTE and SUPER CONVENIENT that the part about “oh wait lol I DIDN’T ACTUALLY SEND HER THOSE OR SHOW HER ANYTHING!!!” didn’t make it into the original call out post. Nooo no no, that call out post is just about how I’m a lying bitch who no one wants to be friends with because I’m fucking shady, and that’s what is making the rounds and that is what people are believing.)

Or how that part about me “reblogging with a rebuttal” is a FLAT OUT FUCKING LIE, given this is the post and the version of the post I reblogged…

Or how my url is NO WHERE in the notes of the 2 year old post she posted a screenshot of that is somehow supposed to prove my ~insidious knowledge~ of something…

A post which I do not remember seeing… I very well might have; but like I said, it has been 2 years, and it’s not a time I particularly care to look back on or think about. (I was also being placed on meds for the first time due to the personal/mental health issues I referenced at that point and my doctor was trying to figure out which dosages I needed so I was out of it A LOT.) Nor does this post refer Hitler at any point, which is supposedly what I am being a “fucking liar” about having never seen.

Or how those DM screenshots (of our private conversation from over a year ago) don’t say a fucking WORD about Hitler…

Or how she left out the original part of the Twitter thread where I specifically stated that it is the “D is Hitler” argument that I’ve never seen. (and for the last time: NO, I HAVE NEVER SEEN ANYONE IN FANDOM SAY THAT!)

And left out the ENTIRE rest of the twitter thread/conversation in question (which does not say ANYTHING about albinism). And in which I did NOT say that I have never seen anyone comparing D or the Targs to other things like Nazis, nor deny that there are any problems with this fandom being toxic (because, i mean, lol CLEARLY there fucking are)…

(**this is where the tweet in the photo above would go but I’m not putting it in again because that would be redundant**)

(Links to this whole twitter exchange for anyone who wants them: x, x, x, x)

Or how this person is accusing me of just caring about ~popularity~ and wanting to maintain my “BNF-ness” and gain “popularity points;” an issue THEY are fixated on (and have brought up and accused me and other people of in multiple times in multiple conversations) not me (x, x)…

Or where they have straight up admitted to keeping tabs on me (or hate scrolling i think is the term the ~youths~ are using nowadays) on twitter even though we do not follow each other on twitter (or on here), and we are not on speaking terms and haven’t been for some time, and they have stated they wanted to curate me out of their fandom experience (x)…

Or where this person is bringing up private and very personal shit (that I told them in confidence because I thought they were my friend and that I could trust them) because they hate me (x)…

**Backhandedly referencing the fucking terrible depression I was going through at the time where I couldn’t even get out of bed in the morning. A fact that I, again, told her in confidence because she was supposed to be my friend and I trusted her.

(Also, this wasn’t the worst few months of MY fandom life. My fandom life doesn’t revolve about YOU or the things YOU care about, believe it or not. I’d have to sit down and think about when the worst time of my fandom life was. There are a few points in time that are strong contenders. But I gotta say… right now is NOT PARTICULARLY FUCKING FUN.)

AND bringing up personal things that happened between us which have nothing to do with what they are accusing me of or the situation at hand…

And for the fucking record: yes, our friendship crumbling DOES stick out in my mind. There are several events and things said that I remember VERY CLEARLY which happened over a number of months. I have NO DESIRE to get into all of that, I personally don’t like airing my dirty laundry for everyone to see or broadcasting my personal issues with someone like it’s one of those fucking Jerry Springer talk shows… But given the fact that the last text this person sent me was about 5 months ago on October 10, 2018 (yes, I have “receipts.” but no, I am not posting them. I, for one, don’t like violating the trust people had in my or their privacy by posting stuff from our private conversations) over a YEAR after this wank happened in September 2017, the dissolution of our friendship has very little to do with THIS.

Or how that was a call out post made up completely of misrepresentations and flat out lies, yet ironically has the goddamn NERVE to call ME a “fucking liar.” And that it was full of false information that she “stands by” and is not only LEAVING UP to let it continue to spread through out the fandom, but also NOT CHANGING OR CORRECTING the part where SHE FUCKING LIED. And how now I am having people like YOU who didn’t even read the post or look at anything she said (which is nothing) calling me a fucking liar too.

Or about how all of this (whatever ~this~ is or whatever tf they were trying to prove) probably has nothing to do with the incident in question in the first place. No, this is more about their person feelings on ME and the shit that went down between us and whatever ~sins~ they feel I have committed against them. And that I didn’t let them boss me around and do what they told me to do and fall in line or CONTINUE to let them use me as their fandom punching bag and take out all their fandom frustrations (that had nothing to do with me and that I could do nothing about) out on me. And that they are using this as an excuse to lash out at me and come after me with bullshit that ISN’T EVEN TRUE. They are straight up, flat out using LIES to call ME a liar… I don’t fucking like this, I don’t want to “Go” or “Do This.” In fact, I fucking hate this; it makes me feel icky and I just want it to be over. But I am NOT going to just not stand up for myself. Of course THIS isn’t the shit that will get spread around or that people will see or believe, but I’m not going to let myself just take it lying down.

DON’T call me a lunatic, DON’T demand I take responsibility for shit I didn’t do and didn’t say, DON’T call me a fucking liar, and DON’T come into my ask with this crap again.

Hate me all you want, you clearly aren’t the first and I’m sure you won’t be the last… but DO NOT SPREAD LIES ABOUT ME.

#like get tf out of my house dude #and take your BULLSHIT with you #alys answers #alys anons #anon wank #wank for ts #fandom wank for ts #got wank for ts #got for ts #asoiaf for ts #jonsa for ts #long post

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kingofattolia · 6 years

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hi grace im rewatching the mortis arc and I want very specifically to get uhhh literally all your thoughts on it please go off

OKAY UHHHHHHHH BOY WHAT A QUESTION. SO i love Mortis honestly. it makes no sense and allows me to do WHATEVER i want with theories and fanfiction and have it be canonically plausible.

absolute random thoughts:

1. when Obi-Wan goes “hello there” as soon as the Daughter shows up 👌👌 i hate him.

2. BOY I SURE DO LOVE THAT SHOWDOWN WHERE ANAKIN GRIPS BOTH THE DAUGHTER AND THE SON IN A FORCE GRIP AND THE LIGHT GOES OUT AND STARLIGHT SURROUNDS THEM IN A COSMIC SHOW OF POWER

3. kind of really uncomfortable with the whole dark!Ahsoka part. the Son, in his guise as a sniveling weird animal, makes me REAL uncomfortable and also is it just me or do they make dark!Ahsoka act in an ooc, overly sexy~~ way. like i know it’s a trope that all evil females have to be femme fatale sex objects but Ahsoka is what, FIFTEEN? and Anakin doesn’t act ooc when he’s using the Dark Side – he acts just like himself, but angrier. don’t like this at all

4. HOWEVER i am very interested in the fact that the Son poisoned Ahsoka with the Dark Side and i think that potentially has a lot of strange implications. so how you use the Force isn’t always a choice? if you can be poisoned with the dark, can you be poisoned with the light? we know about normal sith poison that just increases negative emotion & encourages rage, making someone weaker to the dark side and more likely to use it. but it seemed like the Son’s poison was more than just that? interesting that he didn’t poison Anakin

5. the part where dark!Anakin clomps onto the ship and Ahsoka hides from him and then escapes. it gives me the shivers every time because honestly the possibility of Anakin hurting Ahsoka feels REALLY bad. also it is very interesting to me how Ahsoka doesn’t even seem that surprised. maybe im wrong or maybe its the surreality of Mortis as a whole? but it always seems like she’s not particularly shocked by dark!Anakin for some reason

6. forever astounded & confused that all it took for the Son to turn Anakin was showing him a vision of the future.

anakin: *sees a vision of himself killing everyone* NO!!!

anakin 2 seconds later: i have seen that it is THE JEDI who will stand in the way of peace

like??? it’s a constant of both Falls that he wants to end the war and bring peace. its a constant that he wants the power to protect people he loves from harm. it ALSO seems to be a constant that mere instants after falling to the Dark Side he forgets his original aims and becomes unhinged. he literally sees a vision of HIMSELF, specifically, individually, standing in the way of peace. and then is inexplicably like RAUGUGHRHFJHGHF THE JEDI.

this seems to be the same transition that happens at the end of ROTS between him leaving for mustafar and when Obi-Wan finds him there. is this a facet of the corrupting, perverse nature of the Dark Side itself? i assume its like drugs or something where you’re like “yeah just wanna get buzzed once” and then suddenly a year later you find yourself homeless and stealing from all your relatives?

7. when the Son visits Anakin and pretends to be Shmi?? Anakin’s like “the only love in my heart is haunted by what would happen should i let go” and Shmi/the Son is like “then it is not love. it is a prison.” LIKE WOW UH? the Son is apparently a true bro, dishing out some solid therapeutic advice. i cry because Anakin is genuinely trying so hard & also needs mental health support

8. love it when Anakin just stabs the Son in the back and kills him

9. WHEN THE FATHER RESTORES ANAKIN TO THE LIGHT BY WIPING HIS MEMORIES. RRHGJGJRHFJFJGHFJRVHGghhHH. i hate moments like this. like in “thrawn: alliances” when thrawn tells anakin “you’ll want to watch out for someone messing with your clone troopers. that’s gonna be really dangerous to you” and anakin is just like “yeah yeah, whatever.” OH MY GGGOSH HE LITERALLY JUST TOLD YOU ABOUT ORDER 66.

theoretical speculations:

first of all, it’s absolutely iconic that the way Anakin brings balance to Mortis is by leaving no one there alive. which is basically the same way he later brings balance to the galaxy. classic Anakin.

what’s weird to me is that the Father seems to think balance NEEDS to be kept between the Son and Daughter on Mortis for the galaxy itself to not fall out of balance. this would make one think that all three of the Ones are simply personified manifestations of the Force itself, right? but:

a) they straight up died and thus were mortal

b) the lore seems to indicate they began life as mortals way way way way way back at the beginning of time and just drank some elixir of life that turned them into Force demigods

c) according to some dumb legends book about Luke Skywalker, all three of them were necessary to entrap and defeat some hideous primordial dark side force beast called Abeloth that lived in the Maw and escaped every so often. except when Abeloth escaped during luke’s lifetime, oh whoops, the Ones are all dead (thanks dad)

obviously this last is not canon anymore, but the combination of all of this still makes me think that they were actually just massively OP individual beings who drank the wrooong magic elixir five thousand years ago and had a theory of Force balance influenced by their own lived experiences.

i’m not convinced by the theory that they were never real and were just Force apparitions the whole time. as a “shared vision” Mortis kind of makes sense, except for the fact that it makes NO sense at all?!? what kind of a useless vision, honestly. the Force is going to impart something monumental to three of the most important players in the whole “balance” storyline SIMULTANEOUSLY, and it chooses THIS?!?! that’s like trying to deliver an urgent message by just yelling GRHKEAHAAAAAGRGHRHAHGHHRGHAAAA in the person’s ear.

the Force isn’t exactly known for delivering explicitly clear visions, but i’ve never heard of one this complex and weirdly, pointlessly creative either. to me, it makes much more sense that the Ones were all real individuals. and if the whole thing was just a vision, that means they’re all having visions inside of visions inside of visions, when Ahsoka sees herself and Obi-Wan sees Qui-Gon, plus Anakin’s vision of the future from the Son. that’s pretty wack and OTT.

maybe ALL OF REALITY IS SIMPLY A SHARED VISION

my inclination is simply to think of them as crazily powerful, insanely old Force users that died when they met Anakin Skywalker (a very universal experience) and evidence of the diversity of how the Force manifests in the galaxy. the biggest problem with this is the gosh darn time travel episode from Rebels.

the ~world between worlds~ and access to every moment in time, past present and future, is entered through a mystical portal painting of the Ones. why the HECK would this be the case?! did they create the portal? did they discover it? they clearly had some knowledge of weird dimension stuff, given that Mortis itself was kind of an alternate dimension. are they ACTUALLY Force gods of some kind? technically, everyone is a manifestation of the Force! what makes them different?!

what secrets do they know about “the balance”? it seems like they must know SOMETHING to be so powerful and so inextricably linked to time and space itself. and yet….. everything they CLAIMED about the balance in the actual Mortis episodes seems a) stupid and b) mostly wrong. so…….. WHAT then?

honestly, i have no idea what conclusion to take away from Mortis. we JUST don’t KNOW and it drives me nuts. on the one hand, why is all of star wars about the Force and yet we have no information about the Force that makes sense?!?! on the other hand, it is absolutely accurate to irl theology to have no real concrete answers and all of it is just “well some say this” or “some interpret it this way.”

tbqh Mortis is the blank check Dave Filoni wrote me so that i can make up whatever the heck i want and it’s not wrong

#grace for ts #long post for ts #illuminirk #talking #UHHHH I DID NOT KNOW whether you wanted this #in your inbox or on the dash so i just put it here #here are my random ramblings and nonsensical force theories #sw fandom: you cant do that #me: yo remember mortis? i can do ANYTHING #star wars #tcw #mortis

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treeplays · 6 years

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okayy sooo My feelings about Life Is Strange are complicated and personal and honestly I wasn’t even thinking about Before the Storm in a critical way at all when playing through it, so maybe this is all premature and I really don’t know what I’m talking about but whatever. Here’s some long rambly spoilery thoughts on Before the Storm!

What bothered me before starting was how to reconcile the events of BTS with what we learn from LIS. Tbh not just because Why torture us with seeing Chloe and Rachel happy and together if we know how it all ends? (Do not even get me started on that final “cliffhanger” shot.) But it’s not so much that, bc obviously I agree that what happened between them was important no matter the interpretation, it does matter, but what i dislike is how the plot itself ends up switching the focus away from Rachel and Chloe and onto characters who aren’t important to the overall story of LIS.

And i think one reason why it turned out this way is the constraint of limiting the series to three consecutive days. It feels they’re following the formula of LIS for its own sake by doing one episode = one day. When everything is so consolidated to such a short time frame it feels like it’s thematically not about the relationship between Chloe and Rachel and what they meant to each other in those in between years; instead it’s about how they solved this particular problem in those three days. BTS feels so removed from the events of LIS that you could almost pretend that it takes place in an alternate reality from the main game, except of course for that final shot… (ugggggggghhhh)

So in the end it just kindof ends up feeling cruel of the developers tbh, for the plot to end up abandoning what it really started out with in regard to Chloe and Rachel’s relationship.

Back during LIS my impression of Rachel was pretty accurate to her as the force of nature we see in BTS. In both series Rachel is multifaceted; her character and relationship with Chloe is open to different interpretations and she’s a very real kind of person. We’ve all had our own Rachel’s, basically, a wildfire; beautiful and passionate, both innocent and manipulative, supportive and destructive.

That’s why it’s tough to talk about Life is Strange in terms of reviewing what works and what didn’t; it’s hard to be neutral when so much of these games feels so intensely personal. The thing about the first two episodes of BTS is that it IS intensely personal to the characters too… at first. It was always about Rachel and Chloe, building their relationship and the give and take, trust and dreams and friendship and romance and all the teenage drama, it was Chloe and Rachel versus the world, only for the final episode to devolve into this singular focus on secondary characters who in the larger scheme of LIS S1 don’t even exist.

The dream sequences with William were one of my favorite parts, and just as the first two episodes do, they start off as thematically centering on Rachel and Chloe, but later on it changes into a broader question, the truth vs lies theme of the final choice. Which seems like an odd about-face; the previous episodes were so focused on the worlds of Rachel and Chloe, their hopes and fears and anger and isolation from the world of adults, that the switch to the very grown-up question of lying for the ‘greater good’ vs the truth even if it hurts, feels a little off, especially considering that when we know where Rachel and Chloe end up in the sequel makes it all feel like going backwards. I feel like it would have been more effective to continue the episodes as little slice of life moments like in the first episodes centering on the relationship between Rachel and Chloe, but but spread throughout the years between.

I wasn’t following the fandom at the time of release but from what I can tell it seems there was a lot of rumors about cut content and leaks regarding Episode 3? And I can definitely see where that impression came from. The final episode seems a lot less cohesive than the rest, a lot of things feel unresolved or out of left field. I also didn’t like the feeling that they were going for another Gotcha climax like in LIS that you -never see coming- or whatever. It was kindof nonsensical and honestly I was just confused. The thing with Elliot was legitimately scary but what gets me about it is, like…

I’m not sure if it’s really clever or missing their own point? When Elliot is the one framing these questions and doubts, what if Rachel really is manipulative and bad for Chloe, it’s just automatic for you to reject the idea. And maybe that’s why that ceases to be the question for the rest of the episode, Chloe is no longer interested in whether or not Rachel is “good for her” or if she should trust her, it’s no longer even a choice.

But the other “twist” part that I just don’t get is with Rachel’s dad and what he was really doing, because honestly, how is hiding the truth even an option after that? The ending sequence with the office was just one “wha” moment after another but the vision/hallucination and the mill confrontation had a great lead-up but then a terrible conclusion. I’m so disappointed Ghost William and Damon didn’t have an epic throw-down. Ok i’m kidding but it would’ve been pretty fun to have the final backtalk sequence be some kind of Vision William and Chloe vs Damon knife/verbal action sequence.

And I legit thought that talking with Sera was another dream sequence and the conversation was actually trying to convince her to not die and see Rachel again, and when it was over we’d wake up and THEN have our epic throw down with Damon. But instead we don’t get to do anything before being knocked out and suddenly all our problems are solved off screen? Then we have a nice calm conversation, it’s so out of place and weird, like were you not just injected with a huge drug dosage ten seconds ago that may or may not have been intended to kill you I still have no idea what Damon was actually trying to pull off here????

It’s just a weird choice that Rachel’s parents situation started out as another bullet point on the list of shared angst that she and Chloe bond over but becomes the entire plot of the final episode while Rachel herself is sidelined out of the picture completely.

This video explains in a really interesting way, the first LIS had a kind of genre bend in the last few episodes, but where it worked there in a very thematic way that even tied in to the final choice (unintentionally or not), in BTS it just feels like things got switched up for no reason. The question of the final choice is a tough one in any other circumstances, but the actual events leading up to it and as the entire reason for this series to exist? Meh.

But you know whatever I cried anyway and didn’t really care if it made sense tbqh!!!!

I didn’t expect answers to any of the supernatural stuff in the first game, to me it’s fine for it to just hint at things, and I kindof wish they kept up with that vibe instead of going into soap-opera territory in the final episode there. The stuff with The Tempest and the wildfire and the symbolism and love at first sight, it was all so dreamy, just hanging out with Rachel & friends and trying to navigate the awkward and the uncomfortable and the space between childhood and adulthood, the unexplainable and the mundane and the magical, that to me is the heart of Life is Strange and what makes Before the Storm beautiful in it’s own way.

#life is strange #before the storm #bts spoilers #"waaaaa its hard to review this” *goes on to complain about everything*

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blackwatchbastard · 6 years

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CAN WE HAVE LIAO DETAILD PLEAAASE? I HAD NO IDEA YOU HAD ANYTHING FOR THEM AND I ALWAYS LOVE YOUR CHARACTERIZATIONS AAAAAA

Gosh, I’m really flattered you like my characterizations, first of all. And after that, I feel like I should warn that like. I basically just made an OC placeholder for Liao and she’s a big ol lesbian and that’s just how it happened. I really love nb Liao hcs and people making those are a fucking gift and I use they/them for Liao unless I’m talking about “My OC Liao”. That said, my whole ideas for her bg and such are something I really ended up thinking hard on when considering the other 5 members of the team and what they were up against when the Strike Team was started so I hope it shows.

She’s in the middle ground between Gabriel and Ana and Reinhardt age-wise, probably 3-4 years older than Jack. So Crisis era, where I’ve put in the most work for her, she’s like… mid-to-late 20s. Short but goddamn solid, I haven’t done a lot with her appearance tbqh but I know with my ideas for her fighting style she’s probably strong enough for it to show. Also short hair and brown eyes because I have A Type.

Her background is more or less espionage; has skills in hand-to-hand combat, close-range weaponry (I wanted her to have tech-y knives but I debate it a lot because bringing a knife to a primarily gun fight is Bad lmao), some hacking knowledge, and game-wise would probably have a self heal or buff thing to gtfo out of tight spots. But when I say ‘espionage’ I do not mean ‘sexy spy’ like Jesus Christ please no. She is trained in ‘in quiet, out quiet’ methods where no one even knows she’s there (see: one of the reasons she gets offered up for the Strike Team is that cocktailed with hacking means they can disable things more easily). A lot of her main issues are a mix of ‘bad coping’ and ‘unresolved anger’ and she has a lot to unpack over the years during and after the Crisis. Her anger is really uncomfortable and not pleasant to look at full on and that’s kind of something that I have strong feelings about; I want her to be raw about it if/when I do write her. But beyond that she’s usually a big nerd who hides her problems behind a thick layer of goofy humor most of the time.

She’s got a good relationship with the rest of the team; talks shop with Torb and jokes around with Rein and thinks Ana is amazing and builds this sibling-esque relationship with Jack and Gabe. She lost her whole family immediate family to the war and kinda leans on the team as an anchor. She and Jack end up taking up boxing together to vent because they’re dealing with shitty brains and punching helps them. (It’s fun to watch because Jack hits harder but she’s so much faster than him he can barely get a word in edgewise.) There’s a level of animosity she has towards Overwatch itself because the team gets kind of divided/changed/scattered by it and she’s definitely of the mindset that it’s kind of a waste of talent having them handle politics. She probably has a small hand in Blackwatch; works in it in the early years just because of the whole ‘spy’ background.

I’m not really 100% on what all she does during golden years, full disclosure, and her “death” and recall status are currently unknown but the world is full of surprises. ;)

#fly speaks

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crimsonrevolt · 6 years

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Congratulations Chloe you’ve been accepted to Crimson Revolt as Sybill Trewlawney!

↳ please refer to our character checklist

Your application was such a treat to find in our inbox, Chloe! From the expanded traits to the wonderful headcanons you gave, your Sybill is so wonderfully fleshed out. The love you have for her is amazing and we all loved just how well you captured her - ‘she’s always been unafraid to march to the beat of her own drum‘ completely sold us. It’s so clear to see from you application just how much you’ve thought about the role that Sybill has to play in the war and gone into so much detail about her involvement with Aversio it’s such a pleasure to see! We think that Sybill will fit in just wonderfully and we cannot wait to have you both in our roleplay!

Application beneath the cut

OUT OF CHARACTER

INTRODUCTION

Chloe, she/her, GMT, from England

ACTIVITY

Well it’s been a little while since I’ve actively roleplayed so I might start out a little rusty, but given the preference you have for longer threads and your lenient activity limit I’m sure I’ll be around fairly often, like three times a week at least. (to give you a number I’d say like 7/10 on the active scale)

TRIGGERS

*removed for privacy

HOW DID YOU FIND US?

I was looking through the hp rp tag, and to be honest I was looking specifically for a Sybill Trelawney to play that I felt was actually a good representation of her character and also sat within an rp that had a good plot aha

WHAT HARRY POTTER CHARACTER DO YOU IDENTIFY WITH MOST?

Maybe a cliché but I really loved Ginny (in the books of course, don’t EVER get me started with the mess they made of her character in the movies dear god) she was spunky and confident (and ginger like myself, which tbqh has made me slightly bias in favour of the whole Weasley clan. Like you’re telling me not only do they deal w/ shit for being blood traitors but they redheads too??? Hard knock life, my man.) And of course my dear Sybill, who was just trying to be understood in a world that wasn’t quite ready for her.

ANYTHING ELSE?

Nope

IN CHARACTER

DESIRED CHARACTER

Sybill Trelawney

FACE CLAIM

Alycia Debnam Carey isn’t an fc I’ve ever worked with before but after browsing her tag and doing a little research she seems an excellent choice for Sybill in my opinion, and since she’s your chosen fc too I’m sure you’d have no problem with me picking her. (I am also partial to Juno Temple as Sybill, but I kinda feel that’s getting a little overdone)

REASON FOR CHOSEN CHARACTER

Uhhhh this is just a general comment but I really love that you’ve made Sybill a big of a fighter and actually self confident like all the time I see her portrayed as this scared little thing and I don’t think that’s accurate, like I’ve always felt that (at least in her younger years, before the world beat her down a bit) Sybill would have been a passionate and confident woman with faith in her gift and a desire to set the world to rights. Her words aren’t always tactful, sure, but I think everything Sybill says she says because she thinks it needs to be heard.

When I first read about this Aversio group you’d created I wasn’t sure that putting Sybill in with such people was the right choice but after a little thought the idea really grew on me. I think Sybill’s visions have forced her to witness so much death and destruction that she has been powerless to prevent, and who wouldn’t be made angry like that? Who wouldn’t grab the first chance that came along to take back some of that power, to try and defend the people she loved? Sybill is part of this group for all the right reasons. She’s fighting for freedom and safety, but she’s not naïve, she doesn’t think the order sitting around and just waiting to form counter attacks are doing enough. I also feel she was something of a loner in school and despite being quite clever was never really invited into or considered for the order and so perhaps this comes from the ever so slight niggling urge she has to prove herself, because despite being a hippy dippy seer she’s also capable of affecting change and taking part in things. (If anything her visions and prophecies have only made her more determined to change the world, for she will have seen how truly tits up everything could go.)

I just have a longstanding love for Sybill, she’s always been unafraid to march to the beat of her own drum. Like, refusing to take on the name ‘higglebottom’ and so causing the end of your own marriage?? That’s hardcore. That’s a woman who won’t take no shit. Yeah, I love Sybill and I am forever searching for an rp with what I feel is an accurate representation of her. This is getting long so I’ll wind it down now, but if you’d like to hear anything more about my love for Syb pls just do message me lmao.

PREFERRED SHIPS // CHARACTER SEXUALITY // GENDER & PRONOUNS

Sybill has always been wary of romance and love. With her gift it is easy to see the multitude of ways things can fall apart. Not only that, but it is hard to find someone with complete faith in this gift of hers, someone who truly believes all her madcap ramblings and feels the power of nature and the universe as much as she does. (Of course, she would only ever settle down with someone who believed in this power as much as she did and yet like her was not afraid to question it.) Sex is different to romance, though, I think Sybill views sex as something much simpler and it’s very much a pleasure she indulges in without ever feeling guilty about it. Honestly I think she can be quite the flirt when she wants, not ashamed of her desire to lure a man or woman into her bed for the night, because why should we deny ourselves such a simple craving? We shouldn’t.

As far as ships go I’m very happy just to go with the flow, nothing prioritised. Sybill goes by she/her pronouns, did consider them/they for a while but after some contemplation in the forest realised her energy was decidedly feminine in its nurturing and care, even if it was a little wilder and more adventurous. (Sexuality I touched on a little above, i feel like she’d be very fluid about it and call herself bisexual if pushed on the subject)

CREATE ONE (OR MORE!) OF THE FOLLOWING FOR YOUR CHARACTER:

-EXPAND ON THE TRAITS

Self-assured- Sybill has gotten comfortable with her gift of sight, and by extension- since she’s long felt like that was the most drastic aspect of her personality- the rest of herself. She’s confident in who she is and the doubts of others can no longer throw her off her chosen course.

Free-spirited- spends a lot of time out in nature, but its much more than that. Sybill is very unassuming and so as long as what/who you are is not a cause of harm (for example, unless you are a death eater) she is quite happy to not only let you continue with your life and hobbies, but likely also interested in learning about it. She is happy for you to be in love, she is happy for you to mindlessly fuck, she is happy for you to abstain and spend all your time writing. As long as your soul is good and warm, you can be counted as a friend of Sybill’s.

Crafty- well, there’s the obvious definition of her being artistic which is true, Sybill likes to paint and tell fanciful stories and take one mans trash to make into her own treasure. But her crafty mind also makes her quite statistical, she can wriggle her way out of almost any problem and really earns her keep as one of the strategic minds of Aversio.

Genuine- Another fairly obvious I feel. Some of the stuff Sybill says may be odd, but she means every word of it. This applies to her actions too. She has not one conniving or manipulative bone in her body, she never lies. Everything Sybill does is honest and true to the core of who she is.

Dreamer- constantly lost in her own world. Idealistic almost to a fault, often too optimistic about the future. Sometimes too optimistic about the present and so gets herself into dangerous situations just because she underestimated the circumstances.

Emotional- oh GOD if you criticise Sybill’s shoes she will CRY for a week. If you call her pretty in passing it will make her smile all year. Let me be clear here I don’t think Sybill holds grudges or has preferences, but I think she remembers everything that people do and everything impacts her as much as it did at the time it truly happened (does that make sense? Every time she remembers that Lily once complimented her hair it fills her with the same joy as the initial compliment did, for example.) I think this is why her gift takes such a toll on her, every bad thing that happens (whether it really ends up happening or not) affects her psyche terribly.

Dramatic- it’s very up and down with Sybill. I think being dramatic is good and bad, because every small show of kindness is an absolute joy but also every little negative moment or action is the worst betrayal imaginable. Nothing is done in halves by Sybill.

Weird- I mean self explanatory. She talks to plants, she’s constantly blabbering on about the energies of nature and the universe. She relies too heavily on her inner eye to guide her rather than just watching and responding. It’s a weirdness she’s comfortable with but that doesn’t mean everyone else is so ok with it, sometimes she makes people uncomfortable with her frank statements and odd habits.

-A FEW HEADCANONS

Sybill can play guitar. Yeah, she loves music, I think she plays guitar really very well and finds it quite relaxing (can’t think about anything else if you’re trying to master difficult songs y’know) but it isn’t a talent she often shares.

She writes poetry too, doesn’t call it that, just calls it writing. Often times her visions and prophecies can be a lot to digest and so writing about it all can help to sort her crazy imaginings from what might actually be possible.

Not adverse to substance abuse. She lives alone, and sometimes being part of Aversio leaves her incredibly amped up and angry, so it can be difficult to sleep. A few glasses of whiskey or a couple of joints sort that problem out, though.

Can get aggressive with fellow Aversio members. See she knows they can handle it and all the negative energy has to go somewhere (where else would she take it out? Nature? Absolutely not.)

She meditates because it helps focus her inner eye.

-A FEW POTENTIAL PLOT POINTS

This aggression with Aversio members might be an interesting one- like, does she think some of them are really just death eaters afraid to admit that? Are some of them scared of her? Do they think she’s too pushy with the people she’s supposedly aligned with? Yeah, lots interesting to say there.

Of course as an Aversio member there’s always the chance that the order or DE might find out that she’s part of such a group and try to sway her one such way (the DE would have no chance, and i don’t really see the order being much luckier, though she may be willing to form some kind of cooperation with them.)

There’s always the chance of her abandoning everything to just live in the forest.

More prophecies or visions! Are they always accurate? Who knows?!?!?! No one really.

IN CHARACTER QUESTIONNAIRE

The following section should be looked at like a survey for your character. Answer them in character and feel free to use gifs. Or, if you’d rather, answer them in third person or OOC without gifs. Answers do not have to be extremely lengthy.

♔ If you were able to invent one spell, potion, or charm, what would it do, what would you use it for or how would you use it? Feel free to name it:

I think I’d like to invent a potion that would make me immune to all poisons. To be honest, that’s one of the few things that forces me to buy actual food from shops and stops me from living purely off the foods nature provides. I’m quite worried about being poisoned by something not meant for me you see, so if I had a potion that meant no such poisons affected me I would live only off the bounty provided by nature.

♔ You have to venture deep into the Forbidden Forest one night. Pick one other character and one object (muggle or magical), besides your wand, that you’d want with you:

I think Xenophilius Lovegood would make for very good company. He’s easy on the eye and we’re both the types who see more in the world than most people do. I don’t suppose i’d pick anyone for their ability to keep me safe- I’m quite capable of that, thank you. Rather I think I’d pick Xenophilius because we would not run out of things to talk about. Ad far as objects go, maybe a sword? They fascinate me to be perfectly honest- so violent, so pretty- and I think it would be most useful should magic fail me.

♔ What kinds of decisions are the most difficult for you to make?

Who to send on missions or counter attacks. It’s never very easy to decide if you need stealth and logic or aggression and strength, you know? And always I am so fearful that by sending the wrong type we will do more harm than good.

♔ What is one thing you would never want said about you?

That I am a liar. That’s easy, people can say much about me as long as they always believe I am true.

WRITING SAMPLE

Sybill could not sleep. This was not a rare occurrence. More often than not she’d use alcohol or drugs to knock herself out for the night, acutely aware of all the work that there was to be done the next day and so too focused on being alert for that to be concerned with her own body. Tonight, however, she chose the forest. And drugs. There was a lovely little wood right by her house (would Sybill move anywhere without nature close by? Of course not.) And so she meandered through the trees until a small clearing came about, settling herself with a joint and her notebook for a sleepless night.

See, tomorrows attack did not directly involve her. It was more an urban stealth mission, not really her style, and so she saw no harm in turning up to the meeting a little tired and out of it. Hey, she was usually ‘out of it’ as far as the others thought anyway, and so what was the harm really. So for this plan she had taken more a strategic role, using her gift to her advantage to help plan the timing, who she be where and when they should be there. It was something of an arduous task to be honest, left her a little drained to look so closely at individuals, but Sybill would never complain about it. Her inner eye was a gift very few possessed and she intended to use it to it’s full potential.

Besides being out here among nature’s glory with her writing and a joint would be sufficient to restore the balance of her energy. She took a drag and sighed into the quiet night, shifting to lay on her back and feel the full flow of the earth against her body. Her fingertips tingled and her toes curled. God, you know what would really help her sleep? Sex. But so few were as interested in no strings in the same way she was. Still willing to form a connection and truly bon with each other, just not so insistent that such a bond be permanent. It was okay to need someone only for a night or two. The summer she’d bounced around muggle music festivals had spoiled her, obviously. Maybe most wizards were so interested in commitment because it carried on the family name.

Not that she could blame them for such. Cassandra Trelawney had claimed the gift skipped three generations after all and by golly the family had seen to it that her point be proved. The idea made her giggle, bright energy pushing out against a dark sky.

Whatever the case, she was antsy and restless and worried about tomorrows plans. Worried about tomorrows’ people. If things went wrong those few were the ones who would pay most dearly. She closed her eyes, trying to feel the influence of the universe move through her and search for the answers she desired. Would tomorrow be okay? Had they chosen well? The universe, as it so often was in what it considered small affairs, had little more to offer than a small reassurance that Sybill wasn’t driving towards utter disaster.

#Accepted App #illness and timezones worked against us but we're thrilled to have you!

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moonlitgleek · 7 years

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"Daenerys Targaryen. I do not seem to be able to separate my feelings towards her story and my feelings towards her." Can you talk more about your problems regarding her story, please?

Um, well, this is not a subject that I like to delve in tbqh. My frustration and aversion to the way GRRM write huge chunks of this story often trips me up and I find myself mostly unable to be as coherent as I’d like to be, and as the subject deserves. I’ll do my best with it but I’d recommend reading @valiantnedspreciouslittlegirl’s post on the subject because it puts into words a lot of what I dislike in Dany’s story.

My problem is that Martin employs a lot of racist tropes in constructing Dany’s story. We’re introduced to Dany as she goes into her marriage to Khal Drogo and experience Dothraki culture, making her the one to shape our view of said culture, aided by Jorah Mormont who serves as her advisor from the very beginning. Not only is there a problem in having our sole view of one of few prominently non-white societies filtered through the eyes of white characters, but the narrative sets Dany up as the white girl coming to civilize and gentle the savage POC, and oh aren’t the Dothraki so savage and uncultured, they do not even have a word for thank you!!!

While the Dothraki culture is definitely one that needs lots of reforms, Martin’s depiction of them in general is deeply racist. He falls back on stereotypes and dehumanizing portrayals to carry the story, reducing them to a monolithic society built on violence, subjugation and sexual submission. He never bothers to flesh them out, he never bothers to give distinction for different characters that isn’t built on brutality (can you tell me what differentiates Irri from Jhiqui, or Aggo fromRakharo fromJhogo, or any of the khals from each other?), he never bothers to give them substance. He stomps all over them because they are mainly set up to contrast Dany’s own views and beliefs, and to bring her to the point where she “births” her dragons. He leaves them undeveloped and then uses that to make them bow down to the white, western-coded, civilized girl that has earned their loyalty to the point of them going against their deeply-believed and upheld social norms because she walked out of a pyre unburned, even though the Dothraki loath witchcraft. Sure Jan.

From the start, Dany’s story relies heavily on the white savior trope which is fundamentally racist. It’s a trope that has a white person descending on a non-white society to reform it and force a societal change that the residents of the region can’t or won’t force . It often goes hand-in-hand with the implication that the white person is doing it ~for the good of the nation they have invaded~. The story of an external white force coming to correct the injustice or the wrong behavior that exists in a non-white society is racist, for it often implies that the non-white society is incapable of reform on its own, that they need the intelligent white person to teach them and show them how civilized people do it, and it’s something that has been frequently used in our real world by imperialist forces to justify their occupation of a region. (Which hits too close for me because Middle-Eastern history is rife with such attempts. When you’re constantly told you’re oppressed and the progressive white people are gonna help you be better, you tend to have a visceral reaction to any fictional work that builds upon the same idea.)

Whether with the Dothraki or in Slaver’s Bay, Dany is the white woman bringing humane reforms to the savage cultures she comes in contact with, she is the enlightenment movement coming to the backwards POC cultures to fix it. This isn’t a defense of either culture because both really need serious reforms, but for that force of change to be the teenage white girl saving the indigenous people has serious racist connotations, not made at all better by Martin infantilizing the slaves that Dany frees by literally having them call her Mother. Because why not.

And the problem is that Dany does not quite fit the trope, she is not an imperialist despite Martin using imperialist writing in her story. She does not fall upon Slaver’s Bay because she wants to take advantage of the resources of the region, neither does she employ empty rhetoric about helping people to mask her imperialist ambitions or starts from a place of believed superiority. She truly cares about the slaves she frees. She is motivated by how powerless she felt herself and wants to spare others that same powerlessness. She respects the cultures she encounters and isn’t out to replace it with her own (implied superior) culture; on the contrary, she tries to preserve it and work within it to make away with the dehumanizing aspects without forcing a complete cultural shift. For me, Dany is a victim of her story because it is the single most racist narrative in the whole series by virtue of how utterly racist the writing is. That’s on Martin, not Dany. But like I said, I deal with how deeply uncomfortable I am with the story by disassociating from it, which affects how I connect to Dany despite my best efforts :/

#asoiaf #asoiaf meta #asoiaf criticism #daenerys targaryen #Anon asks #ask box #racism in asoiaf

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tsukkiyume · 7 years

Text

Thoughts on Digimon tri 5: Kousei

Ok, so I just finished the new Digimon movie and tbqh I’m a bit eh but overall I’m satisfied. I know many people are annoyed with the whole Meicoomon thing because hey, it brings nothing but distraction. At the same time, Mei pretty much did nothing except being upset. Anyway, I’m just going share my opinion about the whole movie.

Warning: Spoiler

The first 3 episodes are focused on the relationship between the digimons and the humans. Hikari stated that they are a nuisance to the digimon world, which Taichi assumed that it’s because they are the DigiDestined.

At the same time, Digimons are seen as a threat to the human world and the Digidestined is in trouble for keeping their digimons. Obviously, the children will fight because digimons are their friends. I’d say it’s cliche, but hey gotta keep the plot going right? (I do wonder what if everyone has a digimon and there are no such thing as DigiDestined).

Moving on, we could see the DigiDestined are gathering in a room. Now this is where it sparks my interest. This is where I could see Taichi’s leadership and decision making.

Digimon tri has repeatedly shown Taichi’s growth in Tri, and we could see it again in this episode. Taichi actually reflects on the previous battle in Odaiba, he learn from the old mistakes and wish to prevent it from happening again.

Just seeing the above scenes, we could see how Taichi is considering the impact of their battle to the whole world. As a leader, Taichi has a responsibility to protect his friends and to carries the will of everyone.

Now, we have the whole drama with Mei. Personally, I don’t actually mind the whole drama and friendship thing in this movie. I think the concept of Digimon tri is to show the development phase of Taichi and the gangs.

Yup, she’s talking about Meicoomon. Part of me does feel kinda irritated with how the show focuses a lot on Mei and her digimon. Pretty much everything is the gang comforting Mei about Meicoomon and well, it’s getting tiring. However, at the same time, I do understand her struggle. Meicoomon turns out to be a digimon who is not supposed to be born, and I think it’s normal for Mei as the partner to be worried.

Ok, enough with heavy stuffs, let’s talk a bit about the fun stuffs. I actually love the whole horror stories scene. Lol Yamato is afraid of scary stories (way to ruin his cool image).

Lol you don’t have to pretend Yamato.

Even Gabumon XD

Anyway, what I like is how Mei is participating in telling a ghost story. I mean, she is upset, but she is still with them. I don’t know about other people, but I appreciate her joining the others because it’s not like she keeps sulking and make others feel uncomfortable.

I believe Digimon tri is highlighting the relationship between Taichi and Mei. I don’t ship them, but I do like how Taichi is concerned about Mei. Besides, I don’t think Taichi has a chance with Sora because there’s Yamato.

I’m pretty sure that Mei is starting to have an affection towards Taichi. However, Taichi might not feel the same way because currently he is focusing on the battle. That to say, I do wish that Taichi can help and inspires Mei to change for the better and be stronger in the future.

Finally, we’re moving to the final part of the movie! Gosh, I thought the whole movie was only drama, but luckily we could see some action in ep 4. Yaayy dark Hikari!

I do feel a bit disappointed because I was expecting more of Hikari in this movie. I would like to see Hikari fighting her inner battle and how it affects the rest. Well, at least the final part shows it so not much complaint lol.

Ok...

Woaaa Mei, you wanna kill your own digimon? Hmm...I suppose this is where Mei decides to end everything. Mei doesn’t want everyone to suffer any longer. Still, we have the others arguing about Mei’s decision.

This is where important decision must be made because either they stop Meicoomon or let him destroy the world. We could see how the digimons are fighting Meicoomon while the DigiDestined are debating.

Surprisingly, Taichi is on Mei’s side to kill Meicoomon. Sounds cruel? Maybe, but I’m pretty sure that Taichi himself doesn’t want to. However, as a leader, he has to make a decision. It’s about saving the world. Taichi must have considered the consequences of keeping Meicoomon alive, and he well...he wants to end it (I’d say he’s also respecting Mei’s wish)

Of course, we have Yamato who is angry at Taichi. You know, up until this point I have a problem with how Yamato acts. It seems like Yamato doesn’t understand how Taichi is trying to solve things and doesn’t accept how he is changing. Back in adventure, it’s the opposite. It’s like their roles are reversed.

And...

Nooooo!!! Taichiiiii TT^TT. Gosh, problems keep coming up.

Ophanimon and Meicoomon fused?? Interesting, I’d like to see more of it in the next movie. I hope it will be an epic battle between the digimons. Still, poor Hikari :(.

Yeaaaa, the world is in danger. I have pretty much nothing to say except that I’ve seen it coming. I think it’s obvious that the children are fighting for the world, so not surprised.

Finally...

The movie has ended. So, we have a new enemy and Taichi missing. Interesting. Since the leader is gone, I’m expecting to see Yamato to act as one in the next movie. Despite my negativity towards Yamato earlier, I’m glad to see how Yamato is having a flashback on Taichi’s actions. The fact that Yamato keeps his goggles shows that Taichi has influenced him. It’s time to show Yamato’s resolution. I do think the next movie will focus on searching for Taichi while also showing his situation.

Anyway, I’m done. I’m quite satisfied with this movie because it explores the relationship between the gang, the digimons, and the world. Well, like many people, I’m disappointed in the lack of Hikari. Mei is getting too much screen time while Hikari and the rest? Not much. That to say, I think this movie is dealing more with the philosophical elements and how the Digidestined are fighting as a teenager and as a digimon partner. Personally I like these kind of stuffs so I’m not complaining much. However, I do want to see more actions and adventures in the upcoming movie because hey, this is Digimon right?

#digimon tri #digimon tri kyousei #anime #thoughts #mine #my post #text post

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mindsmade · 7 years

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SHIPPING INFO // answer the following for your muse(s) so people know how shipping works on your blog. REPOST. don’t reblog.

WHAT’S YOUR OTP FOR YOUR MUSE?: eh. i mean, i have a few otps for several muses but they also tend to shift with time. i’ll grow more enthused and inclined to call something an ‘otp’ if i’ve been given the time to explore it in rp threads as well rather than just watching it on tv / in a game. fact remains that i’ll rarely have only 1 ship i stan 34838x more than any other. i just geT REALLY EXCITED IN GENERAL OK.

WHAT ARE YOU WILLING TO RP WHEN IT COMES TO SHIPPING?: p much everything, really. even touchy stuff, should the need arise, but only well acquainted with the mun behind the other character. in fact, any and all shipping’s just a lot easier if i’m free to yell at you about our dweebs, lol

HOW LARGE DOES THE AGE GAP HAVE TO BE TO MAKE IT UNCOMFORTABLE?: depends. any supernatural muses / muses that are immortal or just grow really old will handle the age of 18 - 20 probably as the lower limit — which might’ve been a higher number if my muses didn’t all look relatively young, themselves. barring them, the likes of e.g. krem will maintain about 8 years down, 10 years up; whereas nate, being the youngest on here, will probably not go below the age of 20 nor above the age of 35.

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WHEN SHIPPING?: HM. i’d say i’m somewhere in between selective and easy to ship with. i’ll give every idea some thought at the very least and whilst i’ve had a fair amount of ships ( that have come and gone across my accounts ), i’m not the sort of person to just ship anything. besides, some muses are just easier to ship with than others. for example, i’m not gonna ship celebrían with anyone other than an elrond and nothing of yet has managed to change my mind on that lol, whereas the likes of ethan chandler i find quite easy to ship with to at least some capacity, and then sylvan ( an oc of mine ) is a single dad so that takes Serious Thought™. tl;dr: i’m sort of selective.

HOW FAR DO STEAMY MOMENTS HAVE TO GO BEFORE THEY’RE CONSIDERED NS.FW?: i tend to just go with what you really wouldn’t want to be caught reading at work. anything beyond a make-out session’s 99% likely to be tagged accordingly.

WHO ARE OTHER MUSES YOU SHIP YOUR MUSE WITH?: WELL THAT’S HARD TO ANSWER HERE. i’ll just refer you to my muses page; there are icons ( linking to active blogs ) on the side of each bio with descriptions as to who / what a person is to each muse.

DOES ONE HAVE TO ASK TO SHIP WITH YOU?: more like i’d rather be informed about someone shipping their muse with mine. of late, there’s a significant chance i’ll already be bouncing to ship said characters as well LMAO. seriously though: at worst, i’ll defer to an unrequited sort of thing or platonic ( though the latter only works if my muse likes yours to begin with, tbh )

HOW OFTEN DO YOU LIKE TO SHIP?: ... i entertain the idea/s of a lot of ships, though there are precious few that actually reach any sort of fruition on tumblr, in small part due to the fact that i try to keep the number per muse down to 3 at most since i also want to explore platonic / familial bonds. that doesn’t change how i’ll have a few additional ships in the privacy of my own thoughts in the meantime, though. the ones on here just take precedence ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ARE YOU SHIP OBSESSED OR SHIP MORE-OR-LESS?: i’ll think about ships i’m really into / engaged in over here on tumblr throughout the day, sure, but i’m my head’s too clogged up w my own problems for any more than that. in any case, i do tend to funnel thoughts / aesthetic ideas etc. into pinterest boards for my pairings to help organise my thoughts. :’)

ARE YOU MULTISHIP?: yep, save for over on @peredhellen. had a very brief dual ship thing going on in another verse there a long time ago, but that all fell through before anything really came of it here, which makes me all the happier to have a superb shipping partner in @vezely tbqh. on a side-note: i don’t ship with duplicates of canon muses. i’ll only do that with 1 rendition. uwu

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SHIP IN YOUR CURRENT FANDOM?: i have too many fandoms on here tbh and, really, i tend to get equally hyped about my ships once i get to thinking / talking about them. though i’m sure you’ve all noticed my heart’s been stolen by liam & peebee as well as ethan / eve LMAO.

FINALLY, HOW DOES ONE SHIP WITH YOU?: the first thing i’d recommend is to just write with me. get a first thread or two set up so we can get a feel for the ship ( of whatever nature ) as well like the other person might’ve. second: talk to me out of character! it really helps to get the gears spinning, i’ve found. third: give it time, fam. as much as i love pre-established relationships, i don’t like pre-established romantic things unless it’s been set in canon. and even then, if we’re not given a lot of background to work with, i like to flesh out what led to these people being together. basically, development is one of the biggest prerequisites for me to become invested in a pairing.

tagged by: @archontem ( thank you!! ) tagging: @kaleiidoscopehearts / @motherwolf / @siirensung / @ghulardi / @bloodiedicon / @aroseofyork / @allianceofficer / jgfoidjgoi whoever wants to tbh just take iT

#ooc.#this is actually supposed to be centred around 1 muse so @ all the multis on there: pick a muse if u waNT #or follow my shitty example and just be super vague / unspecific LMAO

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elsnark · 7 years

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So changing the way the HUB for skill slots was...well lets be real here it was pretty useless tbqh. HOWEVER, we can now move it around to place them in a way that makes sense to us and make our screens look cleaner. I guess its a step in the right direction, and the addition to the Hyper Active Slot was good as now we can have an optimal 8 (10 if trans) skills and a HA on the side jic.

Here is the problem, unlike most elsword players, I play with a controller. Using laptop is uncomfortable to me and it doesn’t help my laptop keyboard is wonky af with how things are placed so its even harder for me to play on it. With the controller it was more comfortable. I had everything mapped out perfectly that made sense, i could play pretty easily on it, and the ability to switch A and B made it easy for me to use all my skills. However with this new update they completely removed it. I guess they feel like controller players are non existent? Like i know the number is probably pretty low but they could have kept it there for the few who did use it. So now using a controller only works if you plan on using 5 skills only >_> le sigh

I mean as stated before was pretty useless tbh, was just put in for aesthetics. But they could have at least kept the switching of the skills for those who still hit the space bar or use controller. @_@ KoG pls

<3TheGayMan

#elsword #TheGayMan #just please KoG

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jacobelcrdi · 6 years

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💖⏰🍒

I’ma do both canon and RP, because I wanna. ILY

💖 for a character i love and why i love them

OLIVIA BENSON (LAW AND ORDER SVU)

Ms. Olivia Benson is a freaking goddess, and no one can tell me otherwise. I don’t even feel like this one needs to be explained, because if you can’t look at her and just know, then we’ve got bigger problems. She’s been kicking ass and taking names for the last 20 + years at the Special Victims Unit, in Manhattan. She’s the voice of the victims, and she puts her heart and soul in each case. She’s a freaking superwoman. No one can take that from her.

DYLAN CARTER (TOWN RP)

I went through so, and I do mean so many different versions of this character, lol. Not the first character, but what takes my heart on this beauty is the fact that Ms. Dylan Carter was the first ‘feminine’ muse, in which I grew attached to. Anyone who has RPed with me knows I’m mainly a male muse mun. Females aren’t my cup and tea in this community, but this demigirl definitely grabbed my heart. With a rough childhood, a prostitute mother who was killed, no father, bouncing around foster care, and facing her own addictions at such a young age, no one would think that she’d be so successful come her thirties. Adopted into a loving family that gave her a chance in life, she’d find herself acting, producing, and showrunning multiple successful projects. She was probably the most like me, tbqh.

⏰ for a character i used to hate but now love

CHRIS KELLER (ONE TREE HILL)

So, when Chris Keller was first introduced, he was no other then your normal arrogant douchebag. Now, I taken up One Tree Hill around my 6th grade year. And Naley was my biggest OTP, before I even knew what OTP was. And he was simply there to destroy them. Wasn’t a fan of his character, or whoever the hell he thought he was. Fast forward to the later seasons, and while he was still the arrogant douchebag, there was something new about him. Something I loved, his presence, and his sense of humor was much more appreciated coming forward, and I always find myself smiling when I see him now.

ALEJANDRO “ALEX” ADOLPH (SUPERNATURAL RP)

So, I honestly couldn’t think of anyone else for this category. Despite this being more of a love hate relationship, but the course of this character hasn’t always been so for me. When I picked him up, I simply loved the thought of family connections, and he had a lot of family in game. (Fast forward to the end of said RP, and we laugh about that, because said family was nothing but torture and pain.) However, at the beginning I did so little with him. I only ever went on him to get away from the other character I had who was going through hell. And he was my happy bubble (once again, laughing because at the end, he was torture and pain.) I even dropped him, for a second, and when asked if I wanted him back, for some reason, I said yes. (Honestly, I don’t know why I said yes, because I was never on him.) But I did. So it was a nonchalant thing, until there was a plot drop on him that literally screwed over so many characters for a long time to come, but it spiked my muse so hard that I could never get off him. So, I fell in love with him, but soon followed a lot of torture and pain, and honest to god, confusion because shit was everywhere and I just wanted to get him straight. This led me to hating him quite a bit, so much so to where I had wanted to kill him off. Yet, I still couldn’t let go completely. Followed by some more pain and torture, my feelings about this muse turned into a hate love kind of thing. He was a 29/1000+ old original werewolf, labeled the rebel king, and leader of his family pack. In which he never cared to be. He wanted to be free. And who couldn’t allow anyone to love him. Not the woman he loved, and definitely not his family. Had daddy issues from hell, (he also killed his father, so lol.) He drank a lot, and there was just this huge black hole inside of him, that no one could fill for him. At the end, he lost everyone he cared about.

🍒 for a character i have rp’d

DEAN WINCHESTER (SUPERNATURAL)

Surprise, surprise. Mati did play a canon character at least once in her life. Actually, I played him twice, neither for long, but it still counts. The first thing was before Tumblr, it was actually on Fanpop, and a friend of mine at the time had asked me to play him in this little group thing. At the time it was hella awkward for me, and I did not like it. The concept was new to be. So, when I came across Tumblr RP, I was put off on it too because of how much I didn’t like it back then. Eventually I gave in, and tried it, and the rest is history. The last time I took him up was in the same RP as Alejandro, while it was still a SPN/TW/TVD RP, before just becoming a TVD one. That didn’t last too long either, simply because canon characters make me uncomfortable, and I never feel like I do them right. So, definitely been mainly OCs. LOL.

DOMINIC “NIC” CARTWRIGHT (TOWN RP)

How I said I had definitely versions of a single character? This one will definitely fall into that category, in fact, I’m working on another version as we speak. But this boy, urgh. He was my Frank Delfino/Grant Ward/Dexter Morgan baby, and I fucking loved him. He had done a lot of bad things, but at the same time a lot of bad things had happened to him in return. He is actually quite a toxic person, he doesn’t know how to love correctly, and is actually pretty terrified to love. Unless you’re his kids, Nate (”nephew”), and Esmeralda (baby daughter) then he’d burn a whole fucking town down. Hell, the world, even. And I do mean this literally. He was a detective, with surgical and military experience. His birth name was Sebastian, and he changed his name at age 18 after the murder of his father. Highly dark character, with the cliche “doesn’t see anything good in himself, but there is), and he only ever killed those who had killed first. (Reference D.Morgan.)

#lindseymcrgcn #thank you babe #<3 #( ch. | dominic cartwright. )#ch: alejandro adolph.#( ch. | dylan carter. )#( x. | answered. )

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roughentumble · 6 years

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a freaky and disorienting thing is that ive realized that, as i accept more and more that i am a trans guy and thats ok, the more i sympathize w/ male characters that are just........ objectively The Worst. like i suffered through the ENTIRETY of Just Friends(2005) for Ryan Reynolds, and-- actually, hold on a sec, before i get back to the point i gotta take a quick sidebar to explain the pain, the TORTURE that is Just Friends, the 2005 film starring Ryan Reynolds and Amy Smart, and written by Adam 'Tex' Davis.

i had to watch it muted for like 90% of the film. the intensity of the “cringe” aspect of this film that bills itself as a “cringe “”””comedy””””” was so off-the-charts that i physically could not stop myself from vocalizing my discomfort through groans and screeches. i would mute the film, turn the screen away, play on my phone for a minute because i literally could not handle seeing the rest of the scene, only to turn my computer back around and find it STILL ON THE EXACT SAME SCENE. i skipped entire swathes of the film. it literally got to the point that i could not handle what was happening and i just--

i gave up! i gave up and i just skipped forward until i found scenes i thought i could handle, or that featured two people Talking instead of some Event Happening, and i’d watch that, and then the scene would change and i’d be in Suffer Town again, population 1: me. Me is the only inhabitant of Suffer Town. so much of the movie hinges so thoroughly on like-- like. A Person Failing At A Thing They’re Good At. and it made me want to die. i think this movie gave me depression, on top of my preexisting depression. it squared my depression.

OKAY, back to my original point. or like, a mixture of explaining The Film, and explaining why my own reaction to it startled me so much. anyway.

so, ignoring the intense amount of Suffering you’ll have to live through if you’re bound and determined to watch ryan reynold’s entire filmography and you get to this monstrosity, the gist of the plot is thus: ryan reynolds plays a man who was a Stock Dweeb Character in high school. overweight, very low self-esteem, “uncool” hobbies, a very uncomfortable fixation on the one pretty girl who is nice to him and hangs out with him(who herself is dating a Stock Jerk Jock Football Player, who we’ll call SJJ, because I can’t remember his name and he doesn’t matter). on their graduation night they throw a party, he signs her yearbook with a Love Confession, and intends to give it to her.

something something The Yearbooks Accidentally Get Swapped, something something She Reads The Wrong Note And Goes “Um. Wtf My Dude????”. cue him going “NOO I DIDNT WRITE THAT WHAT? WHAT? WAIT OH NOOOO!!!”. cue him running downstairs and seeing SJJ reading his confession aloud to a chorus of twittering classmates.

so yeah, he’s embarrassed, the whole school’s laughing at him because of Course. he runs from the party yelling that he’s going to “be somebody” and also something about how the rest of them will never be anybody. ya’know. that usual thing you see Generic Stock Nerds saying when their feelings are real hurt in movies.

cut to the future. he looks like ryan reynolds in 2005, so, you know. Really Fucking Good. like, Only Reason To Watch This Garbage Film levels of good. like, They Should Have Given Him Shirtless Scenes As Payment For Me Sitting Through The Rest Of It kinda’ fine. anyway. he’s hot and beautiful and is a talent manager for celebrities. he’s all rich and attractive, and he’s a complete sack of garbage to women.

he’s actively horrified of the “friendzone”(im cringing right now just writing the word. its so awful) and he’s really not interested in women above a surface level. we see a woman at a bar who’s clearly his date telling him that he’s the Worst and that he needs to see women as people. as she talks he is disinterested at best. she walks away and another lady, who’s overheard the conversation, looks him up and down and decides she doesn’t really care what he’s like because he’s pretty, they flirt, and suddenly he’s been broken up with and acquired a NEW date in the span of about a minute of screentime.

he gets women basically wherever he goes, because he’s only really interested in a specific type of person and(i promise this is the last time i say it) because he looks like 2005 ryan reynolds.

so because of some Plot Devices, he ends up back in his hometown and unable to get a plane out. he sees SJJ who is now a washed-up drunkard who wears his old varsity jacket around because Of Course. ryan finds him offputting, as do i, and it’s one of the few nearly funny scenes in the film, just because i enjoy juxtaposition and so(despite it being the most boilerplate, run-of-the-mill, dull point to make in a film) it actually was something i didn’t hate to see.

he also sees Pretty Girl From High School. they semi-hit it off. she’s shocked that he looks Like That(i know i promised not to mention it again but it’s a legit plot point this time leave me alone), he’s shocked she still looks Like That. they agree to get food the next day.

ryan acts like a bit of a dick, name-dropping celebs he works with left and right, and getting really aggressive when a waitress drops off a plate of his old usual(a really fattening pancake... thing. it looked gross tbqh.) and like, ok, so, i just, here’s where i--

okay. okay. okay. okay. in Ye Olde Days, i wouldve written him off as a douche, and hated him, and, i. i

i couldnt help but, feel, SO bad for him???? like. okay. he just. he had NO self-esteem as a teen. he felt extremely bad about himself, for a TON of reasons, so he literally ran away and reinvented himself entirely and, found a marginal amount of enjoyment from his life???? like, was he happy? no. but he was... he hated himself a little less maybe? he worked really hard to feel good about his body, he worked really hard to get a job he felt any semblance of pride in, he worked REALLY hard to eventually get to a place where he could feel... literally anything positive at any point. he genuinely truly put in real effort to become healthy and have a good career.

and then he, he gets stuck back at his old house, and people are trying to force him to eat food that makes him feel awful and then mocking him when he gets defensive about it, he gets injured and needs to go back to wearing his retainer again, he openly fails at a BUNCH of stuff that he’s specifically been working REALLY FUCKIN HARD AT, for YEARS, because he was insecure about being bad at it in high school(like ice skating, he’s really good at it now because he sucked in high school and he wanted to overcome that), and then also receives more mocking for failing at it, and. you just.

you’re watching someone who was at the bottom of a pit of despair, who clawed tooth and nail at the clay walls of their misery-prison in order to haul themselves all the way up to the lofty height of “misery pit again, but different this time”, as they get caught in a downpour that completely erases all their progress and they slide right back to where they started. you see him completely regress and it K I L L E D me. he gets stuck back in a place where every single flaw he tried to overcome is just! shoved! back! on him! all over!

and, yeah, he’s. not great to women. he’s not beating them or anything, i don’t think he treats them SUPER badly, or actively thinking of them as lesser. but it doesn’t change the fact that he is BAD to them, and he thinks of all interactions with attractive women as transactional. and thats TERRIBLE. but i just!!! i cant help myself man i cant stop i just i look at him and all i feel is like!!!!!!!

leave him alone!!!!!!!!!!! get the boy therapy or something!!! dont tear him down like this!!!!!!! we cant just tear someone down every time they make a semblance of an attempt at being Not Miserable!!!!!!!! just!!!!! he doesnt need this, man!!!!! hes literally just The Saddest Person with The Lowest Self Esteem Of All Time, so he uses his newfound ability to find people willing to sleep with him, as a way of raising his self esteem. is he the Best Person? not on your life. but he’s just! a sad little man! who’s trying his best! i dont wanna see him torn to shreds, man. i just want him to realize that his self-worth doesn’t have to rely entirely on whether or not he’s sexually appealing.

because at the end of the day, i think that’s his major problem??? his own self-worth is so thoroughly wrapped up in whether he perceives himself as someone who’s sexually appealing to others.

which like! fuck you! thats considered a Big Problem and So Sad when it’s a girl, if she feels her only self-worth comes from being sexually attractive to men, but, it feels like every time i see a dude goin thru somethin similar, its like “oh hes just a Bad.” and i get it, not only do men have the societal power in this equation, but also when theyre dealin with this same problem, dudes tend to externalize it in really unhealthy and sexist ways, and im not. im not saying every sexist dude just needs a manic pixie dream girl to waltz into his life or some shit!!! im just!!!!!!!!!! idk!!!

i just cant stop sympathizing w/ the dude. and wanting him to get Help. and suffering immensely when i see him literally regressing into a place of misery right before my very eyes.

when really all i was supposed to get from the movie is “man was Fat and Gross. he grow up 2 b Sexist Womanizer. now he see old crush and learn Sexism Bad. then kissy”

#long post tag #LIKE. this is simply one example #i still generally go ''nah hes a Dick'' but ive been. more and more. just bein like #''but...................... b- but........ tht poor guy :(''#and im so lost. i feel like im in a wind tunnel of confusion #maybe this is a Healthier way to be and maybe im just Maturing and this happens to be coinciding with like #getting more comfortable w/ saying im trans and acknowledging im A Dude #so idk. but. still. life is weird and bad and i dont understand #maybe im loosing the Female Perspective. maybe in a month i'll be an incel complaining about Femoids #(im joking)

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spiderjars · 7 years

Note

ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OKAY HERE WE GO!

1. describe your idea of a perfect date

Tbh, I’ve been too scared to date but I’d love to and I think my personal ideal date would be going out for pizza with someone, specifically in a restaurant that’s on the side of the moat in Utrecht. If it’s with a person that doesn’t mind I find it hard to make conversation that would be (lmao I’m boring sorry XD)

2. whats your “type”

Tbh I can’t say I have a particular type when it comes to personality beyond “please just treat me nicely, please don’t yell at me, and respect my boundaries”, I know that’s basically just asking for regular human decency but it’s rare here. As for physical traits I really like bigger men with full beards tbqh, girls and other nb people are all just so beautiful ;v;

3. do you want kids?

I don’t think I’d be a responsible parent, and I don’t like being around kids so no.

4. if you do, will you adopt or use some other form of child birth?

If I change my mind sometime, probably adoption because nothing beyond romantic stuff is happening with me.

5. describe the cutest date you’ve ever been on

I’m sorry, I don’t have any cute dates I can think back on without feeling really bad because that gut turned out to be an asshole in the end ^^’

6. describe your experience having sex for the first time (were you nervous? or was it easy peasy?)

Hmmmmm, I’m not going into this, bad memory. (I guess it did help me figure out I was ace so that helps)

7. are you a morning time gay or night time gay?

Night time because I’m a nightmare in the morning.

8. opinion on nap dates?

YES!!! GIMME A NAP DATE KNOCK ME TF OUT, but yeah, I think that would be really cute c:

9. opinion on brown eyes?

I actually prefer dark eyes and brown eyes are so stunningly beautiful.

10. dog gay or cat gay?

I like both equally but I’m gonna go with dog because I gotta root for my dog ;v;

11. would you ever date someone who owned rodents or reptiles?

As long as they take proper care of them it’s no problem at all.

12. whats a turn off you look for before you start officially dating someone

Bad vibes tbh and if they’re like, nice to me but nasty to other people, there’s also a few interests I have bad associations with which make me less likely to want to date someone.

13. what is a misconception you had about lgb people before you realized you were one?

Tbh I thought you had to be either be a boy or a girl and that if you were trans you could only be the “opposite” gender and then I found out that’s not true at all, and that the label agender fit me way better, everything used to be super on a binary.

14. what is a piece of advice you would give to your younger self

“Don’t date that gangly boy in homework help class, he ruined you, also honey you look great with short hair and I promise you everything will be fine.”

15. (if attracted to more than one gender) do you have different “types” for different genders?

Girls are perfect in whatever shape or size as long as they’re kind to others, which is generally my rule of thumb. With guys it’s bigger softer boys that give great hugs and for nonbinary people, they’re all perfect to me too.

16. who is an ex you regret?

Well, my last ex, but tbh I’m still kind of afraid to speak his name to this day so yeah, he fucked me up quite disastrously

17. night club gay or cafe gay?

Cafes and especially those cute small ones.

18. who is one person you would “go straight” for

Lmao, I’m panromantic and agender so it’s gonna be gay either way. Fall in love with me? Congratulations you’re gay friend now let’s hang out.

19. video game gay, book gay, or movie gay?

Movie!

20. favourite gay ship (canon or not)

Tbh I am not prone to shipping for shows but I think the first thing I shipped was Lelouch/Suzaku and I’m still fond of it, my personal favorite to be a little vain, is anyone + Aren (it fuels my love starved heart)

21. favourite gay youtuber

I don’t know any gay youtubers tbh ^^’

22. have you ever unknowingly asked out a straight person?

Yeaaah

23. have you ever been in love?

That too but anything after that was just infatuation, I’d love to be in love again.

24. have you ever been heartbroken?

YEP

25. how do you determine if you want to be them or be with someone

Lately I mostly determine by thinking about what I like about said person and usually if it’s a physical trait I want to be them.

26. favourite lgb musician/band

Hmm, I’m not certain either who I listen to who’s gay :o

27. what is a piece of advice you have for young / baby gays

Self preservation isn’t shameful and being in the closet doesn’t change who you are, things will be better, and hold on.

28. are you out? if so how did you come out

I’m technically out to my parents but it wasn’t super bombastic, more that I just said “yeah, I’m pan, deal with it”, and they just had to accept that. I only tell people outside my family that I’m pan when the subject comes up and my classmates are generally chill so far. Otherwise, it’s more a whole with a foot out of the closet deal and I try to be as proud of myself as I can be in online spaces.

29. what is the most uncomfortable / strange coming out experience you have

Anything personal I have to tell my parents is uncomfortable

30. what is a piece of advice for people who may not be in a safe place to express their sexuality

Again, it’s okay if you want to put your safety first but just hold out because there will be people who are like you that you can trust with such an integral part of yourself, it sounds cheesy but it will happen.

#ask meme #asks #stareyedraccoon #thank you darling Tori <3 #these were fun to answer!#I'll put it under a readmore later #am on phone #long post

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