#idk. it might not even be abt covid i might be reading too much into it but it’s just pissing me off. thinking abt how nobody masks anymore | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bonesandthebees · 2 years

Note

ok official sd anon reply while i am waiting for this flight to take off !!!

pronouns she/her so hot girl summer is Accurate hooked up w intern friend before we left for plane rice purity score has dropped to 57. it was like 90 at the beginning of this summer. what is happening to me. hope your followers enjoy my Life Updates too because they are definitely. something. how is it that i can check off threesome but not held hands romantically LMAO

lmao i’ll actually get a twitter to check ! if i see you in the crowd i will just send you another anon ask or smth no idea

also yes!! open mic was so so fun i really enjoyed i’m gonna miss it and the host and the people! last time i went there was a chemE phd dude reading a poem and then i told him i was also chemE and he then proceeded to try to convince me to get a phd. it will not be happening.

fifth grade best friend <3 i love her <3 i might visit her over the school year! just dip for a weekend to go see her

also holy shit dude i feel like this round of covid is worse i haven’t gotten it yet ( knock on wood ) but idk that sounds really scary

also pedialyte in rock candy! was not good the rock candy didn’t fully crystallize so it was just pedialyte sugar LMAO half syrup half hard candy it looked so funny bc we taped chopsticks together in a cross to make a little platform for the stick to rest on so now it just looks like a bunch of crucifixes in red liquid

also dude i am in the same boat now that the internship is over LMAO i kept making i’m gonna call HR jokes though

tequila taste bad. idk what it is about it ! but i got told i was taking a tequila shot on tuesday at top golf and i didn’t gag taking it!!!! one of the other interns was like i’m so proud of you you’ve grown so much since she watched me gag on the first six at the beginning of the year lmao

also <333 thank you!!!! ok tbf it is glorified file explorer i once again feel like i shouldn’t be given this much responsibility but yes i did put in a lot of work and it’s something the place is gonna use for the foreseeable future! so ! i’m happy about the effort i put in. also on my last two days i got to crawl inside a boiler when it was off and then open up another one + stand on top of it. very cool.

oooh congrats!!! it’s so hard to get good summer session grades cause i feel like people taking summer classes are more concentrated in whatever field they’re in! i am still hating physics have not gone to a single class yet (asynch so it’s fine)

also what. what does that even mean. i’m taking molecular bio next sem but oh my god i know exactly what you mean about bluescreening bc someone asked me smth about azeotropes and i just brain blanked entirely even though it was just last sem. what class is that for???

aww ok that’s such a good job but the separation sucks. i’m glad you got to spend time w your best friend! how were the bars do you have any stories?

it’s so funny our situations are flipped but similar bc i go down to sd to see my best friend since she’s graduating early for law school and she sometimes comes up to la when i have classes.

also :( sf trip :(

is there like stuff you could do w science related writing? idk one of my interviewers talked abt like. being able to explain science in easy terms to the general public is a super valuable skill!! my mom keeps telling me go law bc science knowledge is v much desired. lab tech pay sucks lmao

but!!! you will find a good job you like and also your writing is great i’m a huge fan i fully believe you can break into the writing industry

also fashion industry????? what?????

omg your friend that’s so impressive phd right out of undergrad in BOSTON???

also also plane is taking off but I AGREE I AM NOT READY FOR ADULTHOOD i have had three separate conversations about other people thinking about if they want kids and i’m like. we are basically still children. wtf. stop.

AYYY HOT GIRL SUMMER FR

that is such a rice purity drop holy shit. really how HAVE you been able to check off threesome but not hold hands romantically like?? you're doing all the steps backwards but hey if you're having fun with it who cares!

fun fact i'm not logged into this tumblr on my phone. i have two tumblr accounts, my og and this one, and I only stay logged into this one on my computer while I keep my og one on my phone. so anytime you guys send asks if i'm not at my computer i'm not gonna see it for a while lol

yeah i don't blame you for not wanting to go the phd route. I have some friends that are preparing to defend their theses rn and it seems so unbelievably stressful

I mean I think I would've had the chest pain whenever I got covid whether it be this round or an earlier one since I had the same chest pain when I got vaccinated. like I think it's just my body's response to the covid antigens or smth, but yeah either way it's not fun

yeah had a feeling pedialyte rock candy wasn't gonna work out

tequila shots aren't that bad depending on the quality of the tequila so good for you!!

even if it's a glorified file explorer it's clearly gonna provide a really useful service to the company and it still takes skill to implement and categorize services like that so!! give yourself credit that's still so cool!! also ayyy fun boiler times that sounds very cool

god that's such a mood i also hate physics. one of the summer session classes i took last session was physics, and now i'm in physics again but it's physics lab this time so it's a bit less intensive. still hate it :( and yeah summer session classes are usually hard for me bc they're so rushed but it is what it is

lol that question was for a class i'm taking on the molecular basis of human disease. the lectures aren't super complicated, but then for the homework we have to read these super dense research papers that use a ton of complex terminology. basically the question is just asking why these two mutation genes we were reading about were named the way they were. so like why is the C580Y gene named the way it is was something I had to answer. I think I got it right but I really have no idea lmaoooo

the bars were good!! the only real story I have is when we went to the part time lover bar in SD (with the peach cocktail I recommended you) we met this group of british guys who were roadtripping around California and ended up chatting with them the whole night. they were very nice and fun to talk to, and instead of trying to hit on us like we both expected, at one point they asked us if we met on tinder and that's when me and my friend realized they thought we were dating which was extremely funny. we did nothing to dissuade the assumption. very fun time overall!

it is funny how our situations are flipped. also yoooo graduating early for law school?? that's so cool good for her!!

I've considered science writing but tbh I don't think it's something I'd wanna do?? like if I can find jobs for it I'll take them of course but that would definitely be more of a temporary gig and not a full blown pursue this type deal

aww thank you I really hope I'll be able to break in somewhere in the writing industry. it's been my dream to be a published author ever since I was a little kid so let's hold out hope lmao

fashion industry! my mom has her own clothing brand! she's been doing this since I was 5, so I basically grew up in the industry since I always went to trade shows and photoshoots with her. I'm very good at working for her because I don't need any training really since I grew up just watching my mom work and helping her out every once in a while. the industry is very stressful but it's still pretty cool! just not something I want to do career-wise

RIGHT?? it was the only phd program she applied to. she said "yeah I'm just gonna apply and if I don't get in I don't get in it's fine I'll wait a few years" bc she wasn't planning on doing grad school right out of undergrad anyway, but then she got in and was like oh guess it was meant to be

every time i open instagram either someone my age is getting married or having kids like. what. please stop we're still so young oh my godddd

have a safe flight!

#sd anon #ask #long post

2 notes · View notes

idiotsonlyevent · 5 months

Text

HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYONE‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️ i hope 2024 is kind to you and that if any difficulties do arise, they can be resolved quickly and easily!!!!!

some thoughts about my 2023 + 2024 are under the cut for personal reference but feel free to read if youd like

OUGH so many things happened this year. it was. a lot. some bad. but also lots of good!!

things i've done in 2023:

- played p3+p4: some of my favorite games of all time!!! i love you persona!!!!!

- started writing fics: ive published more than 30k words since i started, and have AT LEAST 5k scattered across various wips/ufos. which is!! thats a lot of writing for someone who only did academic stuff for the last couple of years!!!! and it feels especially good since i haven't been able to draw or make music so im glad i was able to find another creative outlet and build new(/different?) writing skills :)

- lost my job :(( but found a better COOLER job!!!

- played ghost trick: GO PLAY GHOST TRICK RIGHT NOW!!! please 🥺 best game of all time i will shill it forever

- one piece: i would kill for monkey d. luffy. that is all. haha just kidding i love you one piece thank you for the joy and whimsy youve brought into my life lets keep it up 💪💪💪 lets stay silly and work to overthrow corrupt systems and stop injustices in our world 🔥🔥

- got a surgery ive been planning on for a long time and it!! went well?? which!! yay!!! ill be officially out of recovery in a few days and its :^) nice

- also i graduated therapy for the first time ever!!! it was nice actually having closure and 'ending' the relationship on a positive note, not just being thrown to the dogs in the middle of treatment

things it would be cool to do in 2024:

- travel, even if its just a day trip. literally i've only traveled to visit my family since covid started in 2020. i need to see the ocean soon or ill die

- try revisiting the p2 duology !!! i miss my kids 😔😔 and the music 😔😔 and persona in general and since im abstaining from p3re id like to do something to 'make up for it'

- start playing bass again!!!!

- maybe start up art again?? idk :// as much as i want to get back into it, i have so much difficulty transferring what i see in my mind to the page that a lot of times it more frustrating than anything but it might be worth a shot

- read dungeon meshi

- read dandandan (+ watch the anime if i like it!!)

- write more fics!!!! hopefully i will finish my vinsmoke-centric series!!! id say finish my law series too but that might never happen since i cant shut up abt this guy lmao. and i still want to write more persona!!! so many ideas AND so much time!!!!! no need to rush!! just gotta keep chipping away!!! and trying new things!!!!!

- WATCH STOCEAN. BC I STILL HAVENT < fake jojos fan 🤡

- play the zero escape series

- play twewy/neotwewy > if theres time !!!

- probably more!!! idk!!!

#ok gn everyone im gonna drink tea and go to bed :) hope yall had a nice evening #L.txt

1 note · View note

saetoru · 2 years

Note

YOUR THEMES NEVER MISS THOUGH AAHHH ur so amazing omg this one might have to be one of my favs frfr 🤭

i missed you too!! i went on a cruise for the first time a couple weeks ago & then i came back and tested positive for covid 🧎🏻‍♀️ BUT IM FEELING SO MUCH BETTER i’m back to work & school (except my first day back at school, my class was literally canceled & my prof didn’t email us abt it 🧍🏻‍♀️)

also i’m finally working more on my piece for ur “when nobody’s home” collab 🤭🤭

i hope you’ve also been well tee my darling <3 remember to take good care of yourself especially since ur taking 7 classes and remember to show yourself lots n lots of tender, loving care 💓💓

BESTIE SAJHDFJSD the way i deadass change them every 2 days now 😭 before i used to at least keep them like a week 😭

BUT OMG A CRUISE SOUNDS SO NICE i wanted to go on a cruise last spring but then my whole dads side of the family decided they wanted to do a family cruise and i was like "nope" and my mom was too so then we withdrew LMAO and then there was drama with the planning (as always) and it got canceled for everyone. BUT I HOPE URS WAS FUN and i hope u ate to ur hearts content bc i heard u can just have wtv u want on the cruise bc the food is paid for beforehand. idk tho i never been on one 😞 AND NOT COVID DEAR GOD it gets everyone eventually >:( that shit sucked covid was the worst week of my life i wasn't even that sick i just couldn't taste shit and i was pissed and grumpy KJSAGD. but im glad ur feeling better love !! and work and school can SUCK IT the first day was raining fucking cats and dogs for me and my prof didn't mention our room got moved so i had to DOUBLE walk in the rain. WHAT IS IT WITH PROFS AND NOT TELLING STUFF BEFOREHAND. they take all that tuition for what 😒

also hehe im so excited to read it OMG but make sure to take ur time !! im late myself to my own collab KJSDHF

but i have been well beloved !! rly busy this week but i been taking care of myself !! these 7 classes are a pain in the ass BUT im also rly happy w them bc i changed my major and they're so much more well fit for me and im actually happy sitting in class even if the assignments are kicking my ass SOBSOB. but i will take breaks and rest up do not fret !! and u better too >:(

#( ˘ ³˘)♡ — from moots to lovers !!#♡ — message from: heart <3 #mrs. bokuto <3 #holy shit i talk a lot JKASHGDF #oh well

1 note · View note

legobatjoker · 2 years

Note

okay so like. im ryl rlysorry but its like 2:30 and i actually feel rly fevery like im roy woried abt it but i cnat take a covid test rn bc like i said its 2:30 but im genuinly rly scared tht i might have covid but idk i cant do anything abt if i do ig nd even tho its elarier than when i get to sleep i still rly shld head to sleep rn just bc like i said i feel sick nd also i need to get my sleep sechedual in order since were leaving so soon and also i just am rly not doing good rn tbh so im so so sorry that i havne answered your asks at all i just like. rly cant i just need to get to sleep im so sorry but i did read them and really so appreciate them so so much nd also im rly sorry tht this wil be short bc of that but belfore i do i do erly jsut wanna say that i love you so so much i really really do my dearest !!! like youre really such a wonderful kind caring sweet friend to me and are so thoughtful and considerate and understanding and rly just like are soso good to me and treat me sm kindness nd love nad make me feel soso loved and cared for and safe and im rly rly just soso glad and greatful for that and also jsut bring sm joy into my life whenever i sepdn tiem with you and i jsut rly hope that i can be the smae to you and that you know that im hgere for you and that i love you so so much my belovedi really really do and you really do mean so so much to me and yea ilusmm :''> i hope ur days been good and that you sleep well, ilusm <3 !!! 💞💞🌻💌🦋🐞💕🍊💗🍓💞✨✨✨

IM REALLY REALLY SORRY THAT YOURE FEELING ALL FEVERISH AND STUFF:((( thats already no fun at alll and then with the extra stress of travelling soon and not being able to test that makes it sm worse:(( i rlly rlly hope you can test soon and that its not covid but worst comes to worst then i hope your symptoms arent too too bad and i hope that whether u cant travel or still have to that either way there is some positive in either situation, even tho it is ofc rlly rlly sucky either way:((( but yeah i rlly hope u feel better soon no matter what love and if u dont then pls pls just do whatever you can to rest and dw abt anything else!!! also in general like dw abt sending or answering asks for any reason at all but esp with this pls pls dw at all i understand completely <33 and honestly i am j rlly glad u got to bed a bit earlier than usual!!!! i rlly hope youre resting sm right now and getting sm sleep and i am sososooo glad that you appreicated the asks i sent also :’332!!! and i am sosoooo glad i can be like a good friend to you and be considerate and stuff because that isso much what i try and want to do so so very much for you jules and just like i am sososooo glad to be your friend and also you are such an incredible friend to me always and do the exact same sm for me :’3333 you are sososoo beloved always both to me as a friend and just in general as a person peaches!!! youre so amazing and i love you sososooooosoo muchhh ilysmmm:’>> 💕💕💕💕🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻💕💕💕💕💕💕🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻💕💕💕

#mewtuals #castle.answers #ilyy:33

1 note · View note

lavenderwhore444 · 3 years

Note

Ah shit here we go again

Btw this is moth shigaraki

So imagine this you work at this place that’s like a zoo that has moths and other creatures ( u can tell I’m struggling) so ur coworkers were trying to get this baby moth inside it’s cage but it kept panicking and crying ( I think u know who is this baby moth) u went to see what’s up that’s how u saw the most beautiful moth u ever seen, you picked up the baby moth ( meanwhile ur coworkers were panicking) it just calmed down everyone was 👁👄👁 long story short u were now in charge of shigaraki, u took care of him feed him u did everything, until he was literally taller then u are ( moths grow up fast ok?) shigaraki was in love with u even when u had ur days off ( he absolutely hated when u had to leave home boy would throw tantrums) he would never let anyone touch him if anyone did they might of lost a couple of fingers, when u came back from ur break he would be attach to ur hip he would not let go not to mention he probably scratched the hell out of his neck so u had to deal with that, oh yeah he was overprotective of u won’t anyone touch u

Let’s just say u were super sick so u had to take a week off, u were devastated that ur not gonna be able to see shigaraki (u had to admit that u have fallen in love with him) so for now u were trying to get better, meanwhile shigaraki was losing his shit he thought u left him ( or dead💀 lmao) he couldn’t wait anymore so he escaped, it was easy finding where u lived since he memorized ur scent, u suddenly heard a noise come out of room ( u went to get some water or something idk sis) as u entered u found shigaraki, shigaraki ran to u and just hugged ( basically crashed u with his two sets of arms) he started to cry he wouldn’t let go, u got super worried and asked him what’s wrong, so he explained what happened then u suddenly felt super weak and almost fainted shigaraki was panicking asking if ur ok, u said that u had a fever thats all, shigaraki just put u back on the bed, shigaraki finally had the opportunity to repay u, he had read somewhere that sex can help ( it’s totally not an excuse for him to see u naked) he just wants to please u( his mommy 😏) his wings vibrated at the thought of pleasing u, let just say u had no problem with it. ( so when shigaraki is done reader flops shigaraki on the bed and fucks the shit out of him as a thank u gift lollll)

Kinks umm sub shigaraki whos eager to please and dom reader, this one hundred percent has a mommy kink umm I cant think of anything, this isn’t my best ideas so feel free to ignore this 😔😫

-🤡

Storms

Tomothura :) 🦋

I'm sleepy, and I want milk and cookies. Not to flex, but I only have to see my therapist every other week cause ig I'm just perfect.

Update I now see her once a week and have to take dbt a THIRD (?) time

I have a bad smell and taste in my mouth and nose from covid. It reminds me of meatballs but in the worst way :/

Warnings: masturbation, heat, vaginal sex, humping, loss of virginity (both parties), breeding, & mommy kink.

InteractiveFics

Master List

youtube

I have rewritten this six times. No matter how much I write, whether it's 100 words or 1,000,000 words, I can't create a smooth transition between y/n's like caregiver (?) relationship with Shiggy to a romantic/sexual relationship with him. To put it simply, I give up 💀 . HOWEVER, I did cook up another scenario in my mind, so even though I have strayed from the original blueprint, I will still deliver a moth Shigaraki fic to all of you <3

To those of you brave people who aren't scared of storms:

1) I envy you.

2) I apologize because I need y/n to be scared of storms for my plot.

Thinking abt writing a poly relationship with y/n shigaraki and dabi. It’d just be so cute.

On another unrelated note: why did I get put on the gross end of scent kinks (yes, those exist)? Instead of being like, “mmm sexy cologne,” I'm like, “Dabi reeking after being on a long mission and cuddling, so I have to smell him and get his sweat on me, ” like Claire. Control yourself.

It was a beautiful night. The only light around you was the moon, the stars, and dozens of fireflies. It was warm and calm, no wind, no rain, not even a chill though the sun had set. You walked further through the forest. Your friends had gotten tired and retired to the campsite. You, however, had chosen to wander some more. You found clarity in the woods at night.

You stumbled upon a beautiful pond surrounded by luscious green trees. Lily pads floated in the water, and frogs croaked. The number of fireflies had increased, and little fairy circles littered the ground (you were careful not to step in them). There was a little cabin up a small hill. It had wooden walls and small windows which stopped you from seeing the inside.

You checked the time, 12:55 a.m. As you walked back, it started to rain. Great. A little rain never hurt anyone, right? But then it began to storm. The kind of storm that knocked loose widow makers, that made the ground shake, and could cause mudslides. You had to get inside and fast. You were closest to the cottage from earlier, and the trees got thicker by your campsite. You ran back as fast as you could and knocked on the door.

“Hello? Is anyone in there? It's storming, and my campsite is too far away, ” you called.

“It's open, ” a voice called.

You opened the door and shut it quickly, not wanting to be out in the storm for a second longer. Then, you took off your shoes.

“I’m making tea for us, ” the voice said.

“Oh, it's ok. You really don't have to-”

“I didn't ask you, ” the voice said again, “just accept my hospitality, ”

You sat down on the couch and scrolled through your phone. Even though you had sworn it had 50% left, it was now nearly dead.

“Do you have a phone charger I could borr-” the lights flickered off, “never mind, ”

Here you were, trapped in a stranger's house as it stormed with nothing but a dead phone and no power. The stranger walked into the room, and your first reaction was to scream.

“Calm down. I'm not gonna hurt you, ” Shigaraki said, setting down your tea.

“You're- you have- what are- y-you have, ” you stuttered in shock.

“Yeah, I've got wings and shit. Calm down, ” Tomura said, taking a sip of his tea.

You sat in silence for a moment as you processed.

“I'm tomura shigaraki, ” he said, “if we're stuck here together while it storms, we might as well know each other's names, ”

“I'm y/n, ” you said.

“Pretty name, ” Shigaraki said.

“Thank you, ” you nodded, “so how long do you think the storm will last?”

“No idea, but here it can rain for up to five days, ” he said.

“Oh, ” you said.

“It’ll be fine. I've got food for both of us, ” Shigaraki said.

“No, that's not what I'm worried about. I'm just scared of-” thunder roared, and lightning struck. You nearly jumped out of your seat.

“You're scared of storms, ” he finished, “you can come sit next to me if it would make you feel better or whatever, ” he offered.

You nodded and sat next to him. Despite looking...strange, his presence was very comforting. More thunder and lighting caused you to jump. He wrapped one of his soft wings around you.

“You're fine, y/n. Don't worry, ok?” Tomura said.

Did he know why he was letting you sit so close to him? No. Did he know why he wanted to comfort you? Also no.

“You're wet, ” he said.

You nearly choked, “what?”

“I’ll give you some clothes while yours are in the dryer, ” he said, getting up.

“Can I come with you?” you said, “I don't want to be alone, ”

He sighed, “sure, come on, ”

You both headed up to his room, and he threw you some clothes. Shigaraki looked at you, waiting patiently.

“Well?” he said.

“I'm not gonna change in front of you, ” you said, cheeks glowing bright red.

“I don't know why you're making it a big deal, ” he muttered, turning away.

Truthfully he'd never seen anyone naked and had lived alone most of his life. When he thought about you naked or even just in your underwear, he felt strange.

“I'll be right back, ” he muttered, heading to the bathroom.

He had a strange urge to touch himself, so he indulged. After unzipping his pants, he cupped his hardening cock gently and hissed at the new sensation. It felt weird but good. So good. He wrapped a hand around it and started stroking it gently, nearly moaning out loud.

He turned on the sink to mask any accidental noises. He kept stroking for a while longer, stifling even more noises. Soon he felt an intense tingling sensation in his balls that seemed to grow stronger and spread throughout his cock. As he finally burst, his whole body relaxed, and thick, white sticky liquid shot out of his dick. It was foreign to him, but it felt wonderful.

Meanwhile, outside, you had heard everything. You sat on the bed awkwardly as Tomura came out of the bathroom. He took your wet clothes.

“The um dryer is just downstairs, ” he said, looking towards the floor, “if you want to come with, ”

“Sure, ” you nodded, following behind him.

With your clothes in the dryer, you both sat downstairs on the couch. It was silent until you decided to try and lighten the mood.

“So what um do you like to do for fun?” you asked.

“I like games a lot, ” he said, taking a carrot off a plate of vegetables he'd gotten the two of you.

“I like games too, ” you smiled.

The both of you talked about games for a while until you nearly passed out.

“Hey, head upstairs. I'll take the couch, ” Shigaraki said, noticing your eyelids fluttering shut.

“No, I don't want to take your bed, ” you yawned.

“Get upstairs y/n. I'm serious just sleep in my fucking bed, ” Shigaraki ordered.

“But-, ”

“No, no buts, ” he interrupted.

“The least I can do is let you sleep with me. Won't you crush your wings on the couch?” you said.

“Fine. If it makes you feel better, I guess, ” Shigaraki mumbled.

You both walked upstairs. Shigaraki found a toothbrush for you, and you got into bed with him. You slept back to back, but it was cold. No, frigid. He could tell by the way you were shivering. He turned towards you and held you with both pairs of arms. A wing draped over you, and he rested his chin on your head.

“Don’t make it weird, ” he grunted.

“Ok, ” you said, sleep clouding your mind.

By the following day, you had turned towards him, and you both were completely tangled in each other. It was still storming when you woke up. You pulled Shigaraki closer, savoring his warmth.

“Morning, sleepyhead, ” he said.

“Morning, ” you responded.

He stroked your hair gently, wings humming quietly. He flipped on the light, and to your surprise, it worked. The power was back on!

“I’ll make breakfast, ” you said, getting up.

He pulled you back down, “ten more minutes. You're warm, ”

Ten minutes turned into an hour as you dozed off again. You couldn't help it, he was warm, and his nimble fingers traced designs on your back. The bed was so soft, and so were his wings. After a while, he woke you up, poking your cheek.

“Can you still make breakfast?” he said, smiling down at you.

You looked so beautiful with messy hair and tired eyes. Shigaraki couldn't help himself as he traced a finger over your lips. He saw the blush on your cheeks and rubbed his thumb over your bottom lip.

“You have nice lips, ” he whispered.

“Thank you, ” you said.

He sensed your breathing pick up along with your heartbeat.

“Your heart is beating really fast, y/n, ” Shigaraki said, bringing his face closer to yours, “are you alright?”

“Yeah. yeah, I'm fine, ” you said, “don't worry about me, ”

He nodded, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear.

“If you say so, ” he said, getting out of bed.

You already missed the warmth of his body; it was still freezing from all the rain. How could the weather change so quickly? You followed him downstairs and began to make breakfast. As you were cooking, you felt him put one of his zip-up hoodies over your shoulders.

“You look cold, ” he said, “take it, ”

“Thank you, ” you responded, pushing your arms into the sleeves immediately.

It smelled just like him. This was your routine with him for the next three days. On the morning of your fourth day, the rain had stopped. The thing is, neither of you said anything. You just went about your day together like normal. The truth is, you liked it here. You were so much happier with him in his little house than you had ever been anywhere else.

“The rain stopped over a month ago, ” he said one day, “why haven't you left?” that definitely didn't come off the way he wanted it to.

“Oh well, I can leave if you'd like-”

“No. Stay, ” he said, “I want you here,”

He got up and wrapped both pairs of arms around you.

“Stay, ” he whispered.

“I will, ” you said, pushing your face into the crook of his neck.

He held you like that for a while, savoring the feeling of you in his arms. The months flew by. Soon the leaves turned orange and red and fell to the ground. Next, the ground was bright white from the snow, and tulips began to bloom in the spring.

‘Shit,’ Shigaraki thought, ‘its spring’

He'd been feeling strange lately, and after googling his symptoms, he realized he was going into his first heat. He googled many things that night, some disgusted him, and some did quite the opposite.

“Hey y/n, you should probably head back and get your things. You've been here a while, so I'm just assuming you're staying, ” Shigaraki said, trying to sound nonchalant.

“I'm alright, ” you smiled, tending to the little garden you'd started, “I've gone into town a few times. I have everything I need, ”

“No, really, I think it would be good, ” he said.

“Shiggy, if you want me to leave, it's ok, ” you said, standing up and stroking his cheek.

He loved when you did that. It always made his wings buzz happily.

“No!” he said, “I don't want you to leave, please stay, ”

You smiled, “I'm not going anywhere, ok? You don't have to be so anxious; I'm staying, ”

He nodded, “I just- um, ”

“Go on, ” you urged, combing your fingers through his hair.

“I um think I'm going into...heat, ” he whispered the last part, “and I don't want you to have to deal with that, ”

“I don't mind, ” you said, “if it's alright with you, I’d like to stay. I'll take care of you, ”

He smiled and wrapped both pairs of arms around you.

“You're amazing, ” he said.

You giggled, “so what even happens during your heat? Do you get sick or something?”

“It’s hard to explain, ” he muttered.

“How am I supposed to take care of you if I don't know what's wrong?” you said, pouting up at him.

He shoved his phone in your hand, “here, ”

You read the screen, eyes widening and cheeks getting hot.

You looked up at him, “so you um, ”

“Yeah, ” he muttered, “as I said, you don't have to stay. I’m serious.”

You took a deep breath, “I want to stay. I want to help you in any way I can, even if it means letting you take my virginity. Truthfully I’d be happy if you did, Tomura, ”

“You would?” he asked, “are you sure?”

You nodded, “I think I've liked you for a while now. Even if you don't feel the same way, I just want you to know that I'm okay with whatever you need to do to me, ” your breath hitched at the last part.

You'd never seen yourself as submissive. You never took shit from anyone. Shigaraki didn't see you as submissive either, even with all the things you’d said. When they mixed with your tone and personality, they sounded caring but not in a submissive sense.

You were dominant, but not in the way he'd always thought of it. You were like...

“Mommy, ” he whispered.

So soft and gentle. Calm and caring but independent and strong.

“Can I call you that? It just feels...right, ” he said.

You nodded, “um sure, ”

“Mommy, ” he sighed, pressing his face into the crook of your neck.

You reached up to run your fingers through his hair. Shigaraki groaned quietly.

“About what you said earlier, I like you too, y/n, ” he said.

You smiled and pecked him on the lips. After you pulled away, he pressed his lips to yours again immediately. He grabbed your hair, pulling you closer as you yelped in surprise. He laughed softly, starting to slip his tongue into your mouth. Tomura tried to dominate the kiss to no avail. Instead, he fell victim to the way you were able to move your tongue around in his mouth, leaving almost nothing untouched.

You pulled away, admiring the dark blush on his cheeks. He's so pretty.

“I'm sleepy, mommy, ” he said before yawning.

He picked you up and carried you upstairs. You laughed and kissed him on the cheek. He put you down on the bed and practically laid on top of you. He wrapped his arms around you, letting his wings act as your blanket.

“Goodnight, ” you whispered.

“G’night, mommy, ” he mumbled.

You awoke to something rubbing your thigh.

“Mommy, ” he moaned, “mommy, please. Please, it hurts so bad, mommy, ”

As you became more conscious, you realized that he was humping your thigh. He’d already made a sticky mess in his pants and on your own. You kissed him gently. Letting your soft lips contrast between the rough humping of your leg.

“Want, ” he moaned, “need to mate, mommy. I need to please, ”

“It's alright, sweetie, ” you said, pulling him between your legs.

He began humping your crotch, panting and drooling.

“Mommy, ” he slurred, “I want in. I want in you, ”

His wings had been buzzing violently ever since you agreed. One set of hands cupping your face and the other holding your hips in place as he rubbed his cock on your clothed pussy. You wiggled out of your pants with his help, and he practically ripped off his own pants. He pulled off his boxers and ripped off your panties. He shoved himself into you, nearly screaming at the way your warm wet cunt sucked his cock in. The way you clenched because he was big, so fucking big.

“Mommy, ” he chanted, “mommy, mommy, mommy, ”

He lasted a surprisingly long time, wandering fingers finding your clit. He slammed into you, slapping skin and squelching filled his ears, but all of this was drowned out by his moans and whimpers. Finally, Tomura pushed you over the edge. You clenched and came all around his cock with a loud moan.

“Mommy, ” he sobbed, “breed mommy, I need you to take my cum mommy. I need you to let me breed you and make you all pretty with my kids, ”

“Yes, Tomu, go ahead, sweetie. Breed, mommy, ” you moaned.

He gasped and sobbed as an absurd amount of cum flooded your cunt. It began to ooze out of your cunt around his cock. He collapsed on top of you, panting as his cock softened inside of you. His heat was over. His need to breed you was met. He was exhausted, couldn't move to bathe, only pass out with you safe in his arms.

Over time you did swell up with his kids. He was so excited to start a family, to claim you with his offspring. If you had his kids, you were his, end of story. No one was allowed to look at you or touch you.

‘Mommy’s so pretty when she's bred,’ he thought to himself as he kissed your stomach.

#tomura fluff #tomura smut #tenko smut #tomura x reader #mha tomura #tomura imagine #shigaraki tenko #tomura shiragaki #tomurashigaraki #shigaraki tomura #tomothura #shigamothie #moth shigaraki #moth tomura #shigaraki fluff #shigaraki smut #mha shigaraki #shigaraki x reader

404 notes · View notes

mothers-and-fuckers-of-the-jury · 2 years

Text

this is a rant im on mobile so idk how to make it a “read more” situation but pls feel free to scroll on by :)

basic cw for me complaining abt anxiety, medical stuff, & covid.

so i got covid on the 1st and im pretty much recovered now but i’m still having chest pressure and chest pain, which is kinda scary so i scheduled a doctors appointment about it for tuesday but. im still worried. because i’ve been having heart palpitations too over the past few months and like my heart has to pound really hard even when i’m just sitting there. i don’t know if it’s medical or if it’s anxiety related because i haven’t been on any kind of medication since last february bc my old doctor put me on lexapro 10mg for 2 weeks then bumped me up to 20mg and i almost had to check myself into a hospital (or morgue idk) so i stopped taking them altogether. anyway i’ve been having weird heart palpitations and stuff and it might be anxiety bc i’m unmedicated but it’s just making me worried in conjunction w still having chest pressure and pain that somethings wrong. and because of the shortness of breath it causes i can’t wear a binder or a tight sports bra which double sucks and transtape is like $30 that i don’t have bc i just spent $150 on textbooks for the semester. plus i’ve also been really weak since having covid and it’s just not fun because i’m already anemic so i get lightheaded easily and i struggle to eat enough so i get even more lightheaded n weak and idk dudes there’s just a lot going on. anyway if u read this thanks for ur time ily <3

#bean speaks #beanie speaks #rant #vent #tw #anxiety #medication #covid #doctors

1 note · View note

pepprs · 4 years

Text

im having so many thoughts i need to put them somewhere so here we go

i hate twitter so fucking much and i regret ever joining it and i want to delete all of the (dormant) accounts i have on there but im too scared to do it. that’s all

lately ivd been missing br*ghton a lot but im shy now and im scared to reach out to anyone and say hi 😔 yesterday i got so stressed and mad cuz this place is a wreck and i miss having a clean slate in my dorm w a mess that was manageable and that i was solely responsible for. and today i was thinking abt the farmers market and how i used to make my regular breakfast from home w all the same ingredients bht they tasted different cuz i was in another country and i didn’t like it at first but now i miss it a lot 😔 like the bread and everything was so good. also it’s absolutely bizarre to me that i like. walked around a city once. i took it for granted while i was there but it was only rly bc i was so anxious i couldn’t get my brain to slow down and soak it all in and now who knows if i’ll ever get to go back but like. i really really do miss it i would give anything to walk around town again. i had a dream the other night that i was on campus there in the main building and my dad was picking me up to take me to the airport for an emergency flight home bc of covid and it was like 4am and i ran out of the building and collapsed on the grass outside and just started crying and crying cuz i didn’t want to and i woke up and realized that basically happened to me i was just in my dorm and all alone and. lol

i have to make a post graduation plan and a timeline for my degree plan rn and i hate it so fucking much. activities and assignments that deal you the maximum amount of psychological torture

im like *makes my first discord server* *goes crazy* like i cant stop thinking abt it and it’s for work so i have to wait but like. i just wanna add ppl already so we can see how it works and setting up channels and everything is so fun. also i think discord could be a rly cool like... platform for art. like a server could function as a story or a poem or smth on there using read / write only channels or whatever and that’s ridiculously exciting to me but idk if id ever have the time to test that out

i keep saying all this shit in my degree plan abt poetry but i havent written since april i don’t think and im starting to wonder if im even like. good. also if i were to publish stuff that means the ppl i write abt would read my poetry abt them and that is SO profoundly unbearable i dont even have the words for it

it’s been almost a yr since my last haircut and idk what to do. i kinda stopped caring abt how long it is and i was just gonna get it cut when the world opens up again but now it’s looking like an IF the world opens up again so i might just have someone here do it or maybe do it myself although that would be bad. maybe on the anniversary of the day i flew to br*ghton lol

i have so many dishes to do and i don’t want to do them i just want to go to sleep WAHHHHH

#purrs #ok i think that’s everything. posting on here is embarrassing now bc i have so many new followers from the stupid crab post but if ppl don’t #have up close and personal access to the inner workings of my brain at all times i’ll go crazy #food tw #ask to tag #brighton

28 notes · View notes

5h4rk1zzl3 · 3 years

Text

mmmm im tryna avoid binging rn and am bored and we know how tht leads to it soooooo im gonna do all 30 days in one post :)

day 1- idk the exact tbh. dont have a weigh scale at my house bc everyone else is naturally skinny but me, im gonna try and buy one soon tho.

day 2- around 5'4 ehhh im not terribly mad about it but i definitely would prefer to be taller.

day 3- a pic of my thinspiration and why:

i really like how their shoulders are boney & the skinny limbs & the slight abs omg & the collar bones AHHHH

day 4- tbhhh i have quite a few fears:

-i wont look how i wanna look at my ugw

-stretch marks wont fade enough & will still be just as bad when im skinny

-saggy skin :/ im loosing around 60 lbs so i think that might happen idk tho

-people wont even realize i lost weight??? idk i feel like ppl arent even gonna realize for some reason bc i only wear all baggy clothes anyways idk makes no sense cos u can still tell but whtever

-ppl will still view me as the fat sister.... uh idk i just always have been it and i feel like ill still be viewed as it even when im skinny

-ill gain it all back ¿¿ kinda cliche but it already happened to me and i dont wanna let it happen it time.

day 5- yeah im doing it for myself mostly but theres alotta reasons like the main one being i used to be skinny and was so much happier and more comfortable then... but theres alotta smaller reasons like maybe get more (good) attention, get praise from ppl, can wear better clothes, idk not feel so insecure

day 6- yeahhhhhhhhh uhhh i think mostly it happens when i get mad and then i cant help myself :| i gotta work on that but ive been pretty good with it for the past 2 months actually i have binged a fee times but each time i worked out enough to kinda even it out i feel like (if tht even makes sense)

day 7- yeah but they think im doing it healthily because i lie abt my cals

day 8-mostly running on a treadmill

day 9- uhmmm no not rlly besides my parents... actually yeah maybe some of my exes friends :|

day 10- time tbh... the amount of time i spend working out is insane im so behind on all my fkn school work

day 11- idk i dont rlly keep track of blogs i kinda use pinterest for thinspo mostly

day 12-alot of string beans, strawberries & tht 45 calorie toast

day 13- its been pretty healthy because i wanted to avoid going down a spiral again. (eating 1500 working out for 1.5 hours) but im seeing no results and i been doing this for 2 months and now i feel myself starting to slip. ive been eating under 500 for the past week and starting to work out for 2-4 hours a day

day 14- 95, idk i was supposed to reach it by the end of july but now i think it may take alot longer :/

day 15- no

day 16- 2 months ago i used to be pretty skinny march of 2020 and then covid happened and i gained like 40 lbs in a year and now i wanna get back down

day 17- idk?????? sometimes i think i do but no im not diagnosed, like last year i used adderall to loose weight and idk if that counts as one but i wish i could do tht again but cant get my hands on any

day 18- bagels omg. so high in cals. so yummy. like i cant afford it bc ONE is 290 cals and then i always put butter so another 80 (relatively low cal butter)

day 19- its actually been a while so i had to check the door dash app lol. but may 1st i ordered popeyes :,) mostly for my family

day 20- none. i dont diet i just count calories

day 21- idk?????? i wear xlarge hoodies & sweats everyday

day 22-i think around 120, covid and a mix of my bf breaking up wm caused me to be super depressed and i gained sm up to 170

day 23- yeah i wanna look like all the perfect ppl i see

day 24- i dont like it like idk why ppl would be pro why would u wish it upon anyone.

day 25- yeahhhhhhhhh i did before but i learned now not to because it honestly doesnt get rid of all the calories & leaves u hungrier but i did a year ago

day 26- TBHHHHH having sex again LMAOO i havent since i got fat bc im too insecure

day 27- not well :|

day 28- YES. my mom & sister both have it and i want it SO BAD. i didnt even have it a year ago when i was at my lowest weight which is so annoying

day 29- sebastian stan😍😍😍😍😍LMAOOOOOO

day 30- 10 facts ab me

1- im scared of driving a car LMAOO

2- total insomniac

3- can run a 5 min mile (at 0 incline tho)

4- read ALOT

5- obsessed w marvel

6- in love w sebastian stan :,)

7- love jetskiing

8- gonna move to nyc in a year

9- love coffeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

10- currently am failing 4/6 of my classes

5 notes · View notes

jjkfire · 4 years

Note

yeah i def feel they’re tryna focus on selling rn but then i mean they’re company cause it’s def the company who are coming up with the selling and merch. I think it’s also cause they’re at the peak of their career and they all need to start in listing in the army etc etc. So they’re tryna get the most out of it. I wish we get our storylines back tho with the next album i mean mots7 was the most personal so there’s that. I can’t rly hate it bc everyone does it, but also it bothers me a lil too

anonymous said:

girl what you said abt bts being sellouts recently? i feel you. i'm trying so hard to get back into them it's so HERE LOOK AT THIS now that i feel like i'm getting suffocated. i miss the actual deep storylines and plots of their albums and songs and when they use to do halloween dance practices :( i'm so glad they're getting the recognition they deserves bc they're such amazing boys but also,,,, it's so exhausting now :/

yeah i think the fact that they have to enlist soon defo has influence on it. i also think they’re trying to get their strategy down before they enlist. this is so they can go to shareholders/investors/whoever with proper numbers and be like see this is what we can do, and what we can generate. then they take that model and apply it to TXT and all other artists directly under big hit. i think jin is delaying his enlistment till end of 2021 but can’t rmb if i read that from a credible source. anyway, i really wonder how they will handle things during enlistment and post enlistment.

and though you didn’t necessarily talk about it. i really have a bone to pick with the ads/brand endorsement that they are in. i mean some of the vids are pretty boring... or just like does not inspire me to buy the product. legit the guys getting caught with iphones despite being samsung endorsers is a big lol and if i am allowed to be a little critical, is sloppy on bts’ part. anyway I feel like the execution is trash when it comes to their brand endorsements lol. big hit nails the in house content production but when they partner up with other companies, it’s not great. though i feel that’s mostly on the brands and less so on big hit/bts.

these brands want bts as ambassadors to tap into the purchasing power that ARMY has. it's millions of people willing to buy anything they endorse but I just think they could do so much better. take brands like nike and adidas when they make ads, that shit moves you. you're like yeah that's sick!!! (e.g: nike’s you can’t stop us ad). yeah yeah they can’t go all out for a brand endorsement but i think they can do some low effort stuff. like downy for example could've done smth like make the guys make a fragrance, an exclusive limited edition product or capitalize on the fact that jk loves doing laundry.... maybe a cute little laundry day with jungkook and the boys lmao idk something that's just a little more genuine. it doesn't have to be cringe or high budget but at least it doesn't make me feel like it's just their name on a product. baskin robbins though they made a ‘bts flavour’ like the guys didn’t even have a hand in making the flavour? a video about them choosing the flavour would have made me go like ok i wanna try it. also they could get bts to work at a baskin robbins shops undercover or smth. idk something funny, something meme-y but perhaps bc of covid this wasn’t viable. anyway seeing them pose with ice cream doesn't make me feel like buying it lol. for Hyundai they could've done an outdoor camping episode, or a cute video about a road trip??? SOMETHING. like make me believe they actually like the products they are trying to sell at least. I want the ads to be more than them just saying look at this product hehe. like have you seen Thai ads? their stuff is top tier. and I remember the brands behind them because that's just the impact it has. maybe brand ambassador type products just are meant to be low effort. but a great brand related celebrity endorsed ad would be this one by budweiser & dwayne wade.

and to the other anon, i wouldn’t classify bts as sellouts as per se but bighit definitely has a very aggressive sales strategy. can’t say i’m the expert on sales and marketing but idk if this model is sustainable. i think first, fans who have been fans for a while will begin to get fatigued. maybe newer fans still don’t mind it or perhaps like it even, but eventually they might get fatigued too. but that may take years so perhaps big hit has it under control. can’t say i can fully understand because i’ve always been that person that has only ever voted, streamed and basically do things that are free in order to support them... i did buy tracks on melon in the early days to help lol but i’ve never felt the absolute need to buy everything they release, the albums and all the concert dvds or summer/winter packages. so i (and perhaps we) are not who they are targeting. maybe other people think differently and will always buy and never get tired of all the constant ‘buy this!’ type messaging.

but you are right haha i do miss the deep story lines, the goofy dance practice vids, the silly vlives where it wasn’t some curated event where they are doing smth (tho i like those too!!!) i just miss namjoon straight rambling for 10 minutes about his outlook on life, eat jin, jinminkook antics, [miss tae, hobi’s and yoongi’s vlives too] and i miss jungkook’s fancafe chatrooms... i remember one concert where in his ment, namjoon (and im paraphrasing) was like someone said something that made me sad. they said they felt like as bts achieves more, bts feels even further away from them now. (-- he went on to say not to feel like that, but i honestly can’t remember. i think this is the if our music can even make you feel 1% better ment but then again i am also not sure ahahahh!)

i didn’t feel that then but i feel that now haha. there isn’t anything wrong with it and i guess it’s just the reality of life! so so so happy for them and everything that they’ve achieved. amazing that they have a fan base that is so dedicated to them, and that continues to grow. perhaps i am just getting old...

#replies #misc #anon

5 notes · View notes

angelblumes · 3 years

Note

(food) Hey hey Hiiii how's you doing? 😁 mine is strawberry, the Laffy taffy flavour, idk im not a big fan of banana flavored things but I got you. I've been watching another couple on YouTube smh its still reactions but its scary reactions which I like because its scary lmao and I got ppl with me ya know. Its called Scary Hours just in case you want to know, very paranormally. Cindy is so im so lesbian for her but they both are superrrrrr funny. 2 me anyway. I hope your mom is doing well, the covid is 🙄. Do you know how its so much effort to hate someone but you just can't like them? ugh one day I will blow up and idk what will happen? its connected to one of my immediate family members therefore connected to me. I can't believe Abigail got killed I get its made up but I just wanted her to be happy 😕 there is this big ol spider that lives on my porch, his name is Wilbert. He got many nicknames now. He scares me but he can live with us he just needs to go somewhere else that isn't right above my seat. Ran out of the good stuff, I should cut down but damn I do not want to especially now that its depression season. I've been hanging out in my room instead outside because the weather tis fun. I'm a mobile gamer now 😎 idk if it counts tho its family business because of my family are nerds when it comes to that tho. My coffee has been👌 ❤ my self esteem has been whoo!! Out the roof for some reason no problem with that of course makes my life interesting. I've been decor gaming its beautiful 😍 ok im done now I think. I hope you've been so good and ily and I hope you have a wonderful day etc 💗 💛 💖 💓 💕 ❤

sorry this took so long❤️❤️strawberry is sooo good too if i didnt like banana it wuld be my fave. so u have good taste besides not liking banana flavored stuff🙄oh no r u saying u hate someone connected to ur family? that's so rough. i can't deal w family problems i will blow up always. AND FR THO... i read smth the other day saying she doesn't die in the book. why did he do that..... to cause us PAIN AND SUFFERING that's why. wilbert is such a cute name i love that. i hope he leaves u alone! ok now the stuffs. i've been ok!! i turned in this outline for a paper and added like a disclaimer i'm adhd/autistic and asked a LOTTT of questions and clarification. so don't judge me mrs professor. but then she said my outline was one of the most thorough she'd ever seen🥺😭 i could've died right then. went grocery shopping bc my friends mom is getting knee surgery and it will be hard for her to go after. got my favorite popcorn ever but its the wrong flavor. or maybe they changed it idk. i'm mad as hell tho. its a huge bag it was like $7......um let's see.... i've like completely stopped watching youtube... idk what's wrong with me but its just not doing it for me recently! did i post saying my mom DID get covid or DIDNT? bc she told me she might have it. but then she didn't have it and then like a week later said she did. so i might've posted abt both. boo. i'm trying so hard not to think about it. lastly... this is gonna make me sound like a pampered weirdo but since my friends mom is gettin knee surgery me and my friend are gonna have to do chores right? i can do laundry fine, i'd been meaning to try and help more with that anyway. but also i guess idk how to use their machine and that makes me nervous. but the DISHES. the godforsaken dishes. noooooooo. nonononono. when i was living with my like bio family that was the one chore i never had to do because i would start screaming crying feeling the wet food on the plates. urgh. i think that's the worst sensory thing i've ever experienced. i help put them away but the actual cleaning? even just rinsing them to put in the dishwasher? ❌. anyway idk i was feeling bad abt it today bc we really dont help her out enough around the house. but i guess we are also both disabled and chronically ill.... i still feel bad tho. after the surgery we will do more and i hope even after she recovers we keep helping her out. i used to put the dishes away and split them w my friend but i ended up doing them all most of the time so i got kicked out of the job💀😭

#asks #5 daily things #sorry for slacking i am doing ok but i kind of wasnt for a few days. its ok now tho

0 notes

dragimal · 3 years

Text

christ, ok. anyone who deals with digestive issues (IBS, intolerances, literally anything) and/or general energy issues (spoonies, etc.), I’d love for y’all to read thru this. if u have any advice or ideas abt what might be wrong, I’d be so so grateful, I’ve been dealing with this shit upwards of 3 months now and I’m at the end of my rope

THE SYMPTOMS

digestive complications, ranging from general discomfort after eating most things, to straight-up debilitating pain in certain cases

nausea while eating, shortly after eating, or even at the thought of eating

this is especially bad when I first wake up, and most days I literally cannot force anything down for the first few hours after I wake up. this in particular isn’t a new issue, as I’ve always been slightly nauseous in the morning and usually don’t eat breakfast. but it’s gotten much worse alongside the general increase in stomach issues

there are certain days where I’m light-headed, dizzy, get headaches, and get easily winded. this may also come w/ a worrying increase in heart rate/heart palpitations even w/o actually doing any activity. I’m well aware these are all signs of malnutrition/starvation (and in fact I had this confirmed by a doctor the first couple times this happened), but I thought I’d list the issues on their own just in case

MY STATS

mid-20′s

I get periods, though I’ve unfortunately never rly tracked them, so I don’t have a good gauge for how regular they are.. I have a vague impression that they’re “irregular” but idk HOW irregular, if at all compared to the norm

I admittedly don’t take great care of myself. I’ve always been a tv dinner person, so I don’t have a strong impression of my diet. I’m also not too active outside of work (tho at work I am on my feet actively walking around and moving heavy things ~35hrs a week)

alongside that, I’m prone to staying up late and getting caught up in projects, thus forgetting to eat

I also have some baseline anxiety, and my stress usually manifests in nausea/not eating and fitful sleep, so you can imagine that the stress of all this and not knowing what it is, or if it might be covid, etc. etc. hasn’t been helping

POSSIBILITIES??

I’ve heard that mid-20′s is when shitty life decisions begin to catch up w/ you, so it could just be that my body has had enough of this shit. I *have* been trying to keep better track of HOW MUCH I eat and making sure I eat at least 2 meals (again, breakfast is v difficult) alongside snacking in between, but this can be hard at work

my worse incidents in the last few months have been about one month apart, so they could be connected to my periods? but I only know that this last one coincided with my period-- I can’t remember if the previous incidents did, but I don’t believe so. and even then, maybe hormones were still happening without the *physical* evidence, since the heaviness of my periods varies a LOT

some kind of intolerances? I’ve cut out dairy b/c that seemed to make me especially feel like shit, but obviously it’s not the only thing. I have some suspicions abt gluten b/c certain breadstuff has also made me feel especially shitty (and I read that celiac on its own can cause lactose intolerance and malnutrition), but not *always*??

general digestive shit like crohn’s?? idek what I’ll do if it’s that one, die I guess

if anyone with similar issues has any personal advice for how to deal with these issues (dietary, better life choices, etc.) AND/OR advice for what to bring up to a doctor to test or look into (for example, I rly want to get a blood test for celiac just to see..), I’d fuckin love to hear it. my couple visits to the doctor at this point have basically been: “you’re starving, please eat,” “I know, I’m trying to,” “well, try harder,” and I wanna die

also, anybody with energy issues, like folks w/ depression or spoonies, I just. rly need some advice for how to take care of myself. I’ve been wanting to learn how to cook b/c it’s an important life skill and would prolly be way cheaper (+ wanting to go vegan, but that can obviously take a backseat for now), so now’s obviously a good time as any to learn. but I just have so little energy for it, like... if anyone has advice for how to deal, please let me know

#digestive issues #digestive health #chronic health problems #chronic illness #spoonie #is it ok to reach out with those tags?#I'm sorry to those folks if it's not I'm just so desperate #shut up ashley

0 notes

xomaleriestar · 3 years

Text

Collection of notes

17.02.2021 at 10:02

so what i wanted to say before initially

is that i read the letter

and was wondering if its still relevant

ok so my response letter its so in heat of the moment and gross but whatever. i wanna share before ur travels and not think about it

i think i have feelings for you too big time but im hella damaged and have big problems w trust so its hard to accept any thoughts of them. i literally cant stop thinking about u and it burns in my chest when i do

its recent, like 2 weeks. always thought im totally tripping out and were totally chill but like bro when i went to take that covid test the other day thats when i realised that it might be a fucking problem cuz i literally felt empty inside w out u and im soso scared sooooo scared of being ok with "feelings" and its really goddamn hard to talk about them as well for me but lets see what happens in the next month

slight overview of damage: the more i open up the more distant i get usually. i've always felt im not worthy of anything good in life and im rotten throughout and its my "destiny" to lean how to give myself away to """"god"""" and reach enlightenment through my own methods

i think all comes from my relationship with my mom which i need to fix before being capable of love cuz ive felt my whole life like i have no idea what it is as i think my mother does not know either. so its been my plan all along to try and learn to love my mother on this trip and forgive her (my whole life i ive been dealing with trauma from my dad so new level now spiritually)

it completely quiet in estonia so my mind is racing but whatever

our souls are connected forever and i feel a very strong connection to u and ur very good to me or just are good

18.02.2021 at 08:15

i love you so fucking much. everytime i look at you or think of you i feel blessed. writing these letters im not sure you even exist anymore. (having flashbacks of i love dick :D)

and i relate with everything you've said

i'm honestly very very very confused as well with these things so don't be scared to move at your own pace and trust yourself first..? there's nothing to prove and we both are free and i dont need you to give me anything you dont want to. everything

at the right place right time. i feel lucky?

on the topic of trust... you are the first person in my life i've connected with only based on my gut feeling. i overthink a lot, but with you i havent had the need to. in the past i would change a lot for a person, but with you i've only gone deeper within and it's gotten me to a point where i have you and for the first time i feel ready and i dont want to distance myself to avoid getting hurt and im totally okay with being completely honest with you. the feeling of trust came very naturally but it's still scary. usually i search for understanding and i always feel i never get it but with you its so different, i dont think about it. i've never actually realised before now that it's trust i've struggled with and it makes sense with every part of my life. trusting myself with my art, trusting others with myself. again, coming back to my upbringing-it defo makes sense cuz i've never trusted my mother

it's defo a strange point in our timeline but im glad we've talked about these things and opened up more

please have a safe flight, i cant wait u to be in nyc already and defo call me i miss u so

15.03.2021 at 01:00

i just remembered that i almost gave away my room away in july and cuz i was so depressed wanted to stay in estonia. found a new person but she literally cancelled like a week before i came back to uk and my init

2:42 am

literally i cant sleep and am spiralling so hard. yesterday i found this voice memo from my dads bday in the summer where my mom got super depressive/manic and is crying and im talking with her and i cant get the fucking sounds out of my head and honestly im shocked i even recorded it. my whole childhood was literally spent by her facing the window in our kitchen, not showing her face and crying and later locking herself up in the bathroom and i literally got the whole thing recorded and its so painful to listen

ugh i cant fall back asleep, spiralling so hard. yesterday i found this crazy voice memo from summer, dads bday where my mom got super manic and i had recorded it and found it yesterday. listened to the whole thing a couple times and now its stuck in my head like some random song. i'll play it to u one day, it's literally my 9-18yrs explained in that recording. my thoughts are rapidly shifting between that voice memo and you, i literally spent the whole day thinking about you.

i once dreamt that i needed to speak to my mother, grabbed her by her shoulder to turn around to see her face but she kept turning around and had no face, only hair. i never saw her face and this one time when i was stoned, i was trying to remember her face and couldnt. now realising that maybe it was because of these moments

19.03.2021 at 10:42

i love you so fucking much i love you i love you i love you so mich i love you i love you i love u love u i love you i love you i love you so much i love you so much im in love woth you i miss you im in love with you im in love with you l love you i love you im in love with you im in love with you i love you i love you im in love im in love love i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you so i love you so i love you so much i love you so much i love you i love you i think i really love you i love you so much its hard to breathe and i think i really love you and it feels great to really say it to you

20.03.2021 at 17:12

love u so fucking much coumba honestly i hope youll have an amazing day. im gonna go offline for a bit

had a really strange dream, really mundane. took the metro home from some festival and was living in my grandmas apartment again and elevator was broken so had to take the stairs. but it was super slow and dramatic. on my way up (the apt is on 6th floor) i over heard my neighbour family fight and i left the door open to overhear what the topic was and they were yelling at their child?

i crave physical touch

hey hope ur being productive!! goddamn, ive just been writing and reading the whole day and figuring out this creative block situation/ why am i so triggered by work. found the right stuff to read and feeling full of life again. hope u are too

hope you're not second guessing me for getting sad yesterday. im feeling fucking crazy and it might be cause im starting my period. i keep rereading your letter.

26.03.2021 at 19:21

bless you

ur so nice to me

had a walk and it was really refreshing. feeling better but have so many anxieties that sometimes i just explode

i fucking love u too. sometimes its like ur my lifes worth of care i never

sometimes i feel like my lifes worth of good is coming to my life through you

......ur so nice to me....honestly i love u too so much..... i think it might be bc of full moon but im just like a total wreck today :D thanks for hearing me out before. and yes i'm excited to see whats waiting for me in london!!

in other news -.... called me rude and an egomaniac bc i told her i was depressed and feeling xtremely anxious blabla basically overview of what i told u today so will postpone thinking about countryside stuff. feeling like shit again lolzzzzzz bc of it.... we were supposed to go together with misha but misha cancelled right so im not really in a hurry which she knew and wished me a happy trip back to london. like whenever she doesnt get what she wants she goes off but i mean i do understand that im being an asshole as well so its like the perfect way to end this day

baah mh im just gonna rant here u dont even have to respond :D but i used to be really really selfless growing up and my parents always bring it up that i let my friends use me lol and ive been hella defensive abt it always bc i never knew how intense it was?. friends literally always came first and i kinda repressed my true self bc of embarrassment etc etc and two years ago it slowly started morphing into hurt and disappointment idk why i expected sth back (now i dont thats prolly why im super self centred and delusional as well i guess) so like after all this shit when im like yo having a hard time i get called a fucking egomaniac... i think im tired and honestly the fact that im getting along w evert so well makes me so happy but yeah since eliann is horrible at expressing emotions its harder

31.03.2021 at 20:20

❣️ is for 🚬👄👗COOL🕶☕️🏙❣️

❣️ is for 🎀🎀🎀ORIGINAL 🎀🎀❣️

❣️ is for ⭐️Ur A Star ⭐️ ❣️

❣️ is for MUSIC 🎧🔊🎶❣️

❣️ is for 🦋🦋 BEAUTIFUL 🦋🦋❣️

❣️ is for 💫💐🧚‍♀️ANGELIC 🏵🖼🔮❣️

❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️

02.04.2021 at 14:24

miiisssssssss uuuuuuu sooooo muuuccchhhh aaaannndddd caaannnnoooottttt wwwaaaaaiiiitttt toooo seeeeee uuuuuuu aaallllrrreeeaaaddddyyyyy iiimmmm sssoooop eeexxxccciiittteeeeddddd ffffoooorrrrr iiiittttt

11.04.2021 at 12:54

i really reaally love you

13.04.2021 at 21:53

have said this before but im drunk AGAIN and will say this AGAIN that i think ur amazing

14.02.2021 at 01:46

im in love w u

0 notes