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#idk why that meme cracks me up
keen2meecha · 2 years
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Nano wip intro coming soon!
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ninyard · 1 month
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exy fans + twitter
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wofworld · 2 years
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is harrowhark nonagesimus wearing skinny jeans?
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bugeyedfreaks · 2 years
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I am so mad because I’ve been watching some of the old Gangreen Gang episodes lately and last night I remembered a few posts where people put the gang in like really crazy memes like that Kermit one where he’s yelling at Cookie Monster about how IT’S NOT WEED but it was Ace screaming at Snake or Arturo or something (there was also one where they were in that comedy police Vine and like Big Billy was dead and covered in hamburger buns) and I CAN’T FIND THEM but I also just…………. feel compelled to make more or find more, they’re so hilarious to me idk why I just wanna see the boys being boys 🥹
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little-pondhead · 1 year
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Some fic because I love your au, Fenton is gender brainrot, and little baby dan cracks me up. Full disclosure, my only familiarity with DC is DP crossover fanfic, and a Batman movie I fell asleep during. (If I had a better grasp on the characters I would totally write more :(( i love interactions) also sorry for the weird spacing. Idk why tumblr did that
~~~~~~~~
There was an empty cardboard box on the table of the Justice League’s main conference room. Taped on the top flap, next to a doodle of Fenton’s logo, was a jump drive.
Heaving a sigh, Batman plugged it in and pulled up his screen on the projector. The drive, which was named “little baby dan’s evil playtime”, contained two files; WATCH_ME_FIRST.mp4 and its-a-secreeeet.pdf. He clicked on the video file, and immediately the projector filled with a blurry close-up of Fenton’s goggles.
After a moment of fiddling with the camera, Fenton stepped back, giving a cheery wave. His lab coat and goggles were a pastel pink, which was new. “Heeeeya, Bats! Whoever else is there! If you’re watching this, you probably weren’t there when I dropped the box off, aaand it’s probably empty.”
He clapped his hands together gleefully. “And Connie, if you’re there, this is payback for cussing around my daughter.” Batman was instantly relieved that Constantine wasn’t on base. Hopefully the situation wouldn’t require Constantine’s expertise. (Or any of the Justice League Dark. Fenton seemed determined to drive them all to an early grave with his casual refusal to acknowledge the supernatural air around him.)
“Now, as you’re all heroes, I’m sure you’re all familiar with the whole,” Fenton paused for a moment, as if searching for the proper words. “”You ate a burger on a Tuesday or something equally inane, and it kickstarted a series of events that led to you going insane and evil and murdering 95% of the Earth’s population and now you must fight your evil alternate self, because your time-controlling cryptid Peepaw said so,” shtick, so I’ll skip the backstory. Say hi to Dan!” Fenton grabbed the camera, and Batman quickly jotted down several notes about the concerning number of things the boy had just said.
The camera swiveled around to show Nightingale, holding a strange beast in a manner that reminded Batman of an “elongated cat meme” Nightwing had shown him when he was still a Robin. The creature bared a maw full of razor sharp fangs at the camera. Nightingale adjusted her grip to hold the creature’s paw and make it wave, which evoked a deep growl.
“Haha, he’d kill me if I did that. Dan likes Nightingale much more than he likes me.”
“Because the worst she has ever done is attempt to shoot me.”
The camera had moved, so Batman couldn’t visually confirm that the deep voice had come from the creature, but the voice didn’t match any of Fenton’s previously revealed companions. “Yeah yeah, her aim sucked back then.” Fenton gave the camera a toothy grin that was only slightly less unnerving than the creature’s. “Dan’s not technically me, he’s much more like Dani, actually, but the world would probably end again if we left him with his other... What did you call him?” Fenton glanced offscreen.
“Bane of my accursed existence.”
Fenton chucked. “The other half responsible for his existence.” Batman added more notes to his file. “So, yeah, Clocky left him with us for a bit to help along his rehab. But a certain psychologist-in-training I know says that repressing rage isn’t healthy, and even without a lot of his powers, he can wipe out most of a city in- what, an hour? We tested it. It was around an hour.”
Everyone present shared a look of deep concern. As if able to see their reaction, Fenton quickly held up his hands in surrender. “Don’t worry! Clocky reset it. Approximately zero people have died from Dan in this timeline.”
“Yet.” Came a furious rumble from off-screen.
“Yes, you’re very scary.” They heard Nightingale coo.
Fenton laughed. “Yeah, we need him- and all of you, -out of our hair for a bit while we concoct more evil plans, and you’re all the least likely to die to him, so you get to babysit! Thanks!”
He reached to shut off the camera before pausing and turning away. “Foley! Which of the furries is the one who really likes animals?”
“Man, do you realize how that sounds out of context?” Foley laughed. “I think Tim said it’s the little one. Damian?”
Fenton nodded and turned back to the camera. “Don’t let Damian try to adopt Dan. Or anyone. Dan will bite their hands off. I mean it!” To emphasize his point, he removed one of his hands.
Batman sighed and added “ability to remove limbs” to a list of Fenton’s powers.
“I’ll include a list of “tasks”” Fenton’s disembodied hand made finger quotes, “we gave Dan to keep him occupied. There’s some at the bottom for you guys. They’re mostly just blatant abuse of his powers for the sake of fun and science. I’d appreciate it if you’d let him mark things off the list and add notes on how it goes. Or you can do it. Or I can steal your cameras. Your choice.”
He thought for a second. “I think you’re supposed to leave, like, pizza money or something, but I don’t think you can get pizza delivered to space. Anyway, thanks for letting me blab your ears off while Dan’s probably committing war crimes for twelve minutes. For your sake, I hope he inherited my interest in space. Good luck! Thanks for babysitting!”
Waving with his still detached hand, Fenton ended the video. Batman closed it and opened the PDF as the few other members present murmured amongst themselves. Most of the pages were filled with a curling script Batman didn’t recognize. The fourth page had a huge, bolded header, reading JP TASKS.
The door opened and shut in half a second as the Flash burst in. “Superman!” The speedster wailed. “I can’t get this thing off of me!”
The Flash waved his arm around, sending small droplets of blood flying as he tried to dislodge the creature sinking his teeth into the speedster’s arm. Batman raised an eyebrow beneath his cowl as Superman quickly lent his super strength in attempt to pry the creature’s jaw open. Dan didn’t budge.
Well, he could certainly see the family resemblance been Fenton, Dani, and Dan. Shaking his head, he turned back to the list.
Task 1: Find Dan. He’s probably attacking someone.
He highlighted the text and crossed it out. This was going to be a long shift.
[Anon, this is me crying over the wonderful gift you have given me. You bastard.]
---
"Do you think Fenton's regeneration powers extend to his..." Green Lantern frowned, trying to remember the word the kid had used but coming up blank. "I dunno. But do you think if we cut off little Dan here, he'll heal back up with no problem?" He gestured helplessly to the scene in front of him. Flash was still screeching about the beast on his arm, and now Superman and Wonder Woman were trying to pry him off. Batman was standing to the side, silently bemoaning the lack of quiet. He just wanted one peaceful shift. Just one. Please.
"I'd like to see you try, hero. And I'm not little." Dan spoke, startling all of them. His grip on Flash's arm tightened, making the speedster squeal before releasing the man and spitting out a mouthful of his blood. Batman noticed that his mouth didn't move despite the clearly spoken words. In fact, when Dan closed his mouth, it was like he didn't have one at all.
"So you do speak!" Superman marveled.
"Of course I do. I am not unintelligent, unlike you lot."
Despite his pain, Flash still made sounds of protest that everyone promptly ignored.
Superman flushed. "I just wasn't sure. It was hard to tell in the video."
"Ah, yes. The video that the Fenton menace sent you. Was there a note for me in the flash drive?"
"Uh, no." In one of his less finer moments, Green Lantern stuttered over his words and moved in front of Batman, obviously lying. Dan merely growled and flew through both men, heading straight for the giant monitor. Batman barely suppressed a shiver. Density shifting? Might as well add it to the list. He could see Martian Manhunter, who was in the back of the room, tilt his head at the display.
Dan ignored the room as he used his entire body to manipulate the computer mouse and scrolled back up to the top of the page. Staring intently at the scribbles no one could make out, the heroes could do nothing but shoot each other nervous and confused glances. More than a few of them jumped when Dan chuckled deeply. Honestly, his tiny body was at complete odds with his baritone voice.
"Maybe rehab will be fun if he's letting me do this." Dan sneered, flashing their reflections a sharp fang. No one wanted to ask what exactly he was in rehab for. The little beast turned his gaze to Batman. "You are the one called Batman, who rules the cursed city, correct?" The dark hero nodded, not trusting himself to say anything. "Excellent. You will be my chaperone for now, just as Fenton decreed it. Good luck, mortal man. Pray, I do not destroy your home a second time."
Without any time to unpack that conversation, Dan promptly disappeared from view. Some blinking text caught his attention, and Batman scrolled back down to the English text, glancing at the next few items on the list.
Task 2: Do not let Dan read his portion of this letter until you have a way to track him. There is no containing him.
Task 3: Keep him with a chaperone at all times. (If you can)
Task 4: Do not let Dan back into Gotham unless you're fine with a sudden decrease in the clown population.
Task 5: Take him for a walk in Death Valley. He likes hunting lizards.
Task 6: Make sure he goes down for his 2pm nap every day.
Task 7: He'll ask for it, but do not give him any burgers for mealtime. It upsets his stomach.
Task 8: Dan gets ONE(1) sweet after dinner before brushing his teeth. Those green pop rocks Batman always carries will do fine; he likes those. :)
A sudden alarm blared from his wristwatch, making Batman tear his eyes away from the screen, indicating an emergency at Arkham. This time, Batman actually sighed out loud. There was more to the list, but right now, he really needed to find their new charge before he killed the Joker, from the sound of it.
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eggymf-archived · 1 year
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hogwarts legacy headcanons + imagines: how they fell for you and how they ended up asking you out
ft. sebastian, ominis, garreth, and amit with gn!reader
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themes: a lot of fluff, sfw, slight crack lmao idk
warning: not proofread; unedited
masterlist
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sebastian sallow
he will most likely (and unknowingly) dig his own grave by "harmlessly" calling you pet names and not-so-subtly flirt with you the moment you manage to catch his attention
how did you catch his attention? when he finds you sneaking in the restricted section when he himself was also sneaking into the same place (spiderman meme moment lmao)
contrary to popular belief, he's probably not flirty to most people, preferring to hit the books and practice his spell-casting. the people he wouldn't mind snogging or more though? hmmmmmm
then there's you, who's astonishingly immune to his charm and suave words. he finds that alluring but in actual reality, you're probably just too unassuming to realize he's making moves
he most likely fell for you either the moment you whooped his ass during a duel, or when you effectively saved his ass in some way from either battling spiders, poachers, or goblins
he didn't realize it at first though, until it slowly started to sink in that spending time with you gives him some sort of addicting glee deep down
that's when he realized that he can't mess around anymore with the casual pet names and flirting, so he stops doing those the moment he becomes aware of his feelings
he tries playing it cool regardless along with denying his feelings. he settles for that painful pining, however (damn that crucio must've done something to him to push through with this sort of pain--)
ominis would've probably smacked him in the head for being an oaf and overcomplicating things for himself
but just as he's not so subtle with his flirting tendencies, it's the same with his jealousy and shattered ego
"leander wants to invite who out for a date?!"
"(y/n). i overheard him and weasley talking about asking (y/n) out for a date later in hogsmeade. don't see why that should matter much to you though," ominis shrugs, casually popping a flavored bean into his mouth.
"it's leander for merlin's sake! leander fucking prewett - the mandrake-looking moonmind who lost to me multiple times in a duel!" sebastian hissed, angry jealousy and disbelief evident in his tone.
"oh i see what's going on now."
"the last time i checked, you're blind, ominis."
"i'll pretend you didn't say that, sebastian. but least leander prewett isn't on the verge of stealing my significant other."
"they're not my significant other-"
"oh, but you want them to be. how about you stop lying to yourself and just ask (y/n) out before he does? simple solution for a simple problem, unless you want prewett to do it first."
sebastian stormed off, heading towards a confused-looking (y/n) while ominis was smirking triumphantly.
he "forgot" to tell sebastian he was just pulling his leg. whoops.
"you. me. three broomsticks. today. after class."
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ominis gaunt
we all know he's baby, but boy he's really snarky at first and you were kinda scared of him
you've probably been crushing on him since the first day you met him despite his bark (bitch pls who wouldn't be?)
everyone in your year is hyper aware of your crush towards him 'coz they actually see what you do for him in secret whenever you could (such as countering any hex or jinx his older siblings would try to cast at him in hallways when they were still students in hogwarts)
you didn't really want to offend him in any way hence the secrecy of your actions. he's rather adamant that he can handle it all on his own, but you just do it voluntarily as an act of love.
during potions class is when you look out for him the most. when you weren't in the same table as him, you'd adjust the flame for him using your wand from a considerably long distance whenever you noticed that weird swirls were coming out of his cauldron.
professor sharp noticed this eventually, so he ends up assigning you to the same table as ominis every school year primarily for safety reasons (or maybe he finds the one-sided pining rather painful to look at)
you were more open with giving your help to him from that point onwards, telling him if he grabbed the wrong ingredient, handing him over things, if the potion looks wrong, etc.
ominis' grades in potions improved thanks to you!
he shares his treats with you and occasionally teaches you new spells in the undercroft as a form of reciprocation
little do you know, ominis actually knows what you've been doing all these years. he just doesn't feel he deserves someone as kind as you are, much to sebastian's chagrin watching the both of you pine for each other
he always has been rather attracted with how gentle and caring you are (i mean, you did prevent his cauldron from exploding at his face at several points), and he fell more overtime as he got to know you. he's just extremely subtle about how he shows his feelings.
"seems like i'm running low on ingredients," ominis mutters, shaking his nearly empty jar of crushed moonstone.
"we have been using alot of them lately, haven't we? i'm running out of quite a lot of ingredients too actually," you said.
now's definitely ominis' chance.
"how about we go to hogsmeade later after class to buy the ingredients? and perhaps have some butterbeer or go to honeydukes after. my treat. if you don't mind, that is."
your face burned at this. he asked you out. merlin, he actually fucking asked you out.
"s-sure! i'd be glad to. l-let's meet at the bell tower entrance later! see you!" you sputtered rather embarrassingly as you gathered your things before scampering off to your next class. a faint smile and a blush graces ominis' usually stoic expression.
"would you look at that. you finally had the guts to ask her out on a date," sebastian drawls, elbowing lightly at ominis' rib.
ominis scowled, his face flushing dark red both in embarrassment and annoyance, earning a teasing chortle from his brunette-haired best friend.
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garreth weasley
you're both partners-in-crime: best friends since childhood to be precise
however, this dork initially sees you more as a gorilla than an actual human being *monke noises*
you can't blame garreth though - you both went through the childhood stages together and he's so comfortable with your presence and vice-versa
despite your mischief with him and both of you landing yourselves in detention quite often, you've actually roped him out of trouble several times from flunking his grades. surprisingly you're pretty smart for a troublemaker
gryffindor loses alot of their house points mostly because of you two especially during potions class
thanks to the both of you, a cauldron lid lodged itself to the ceiling of the potions classroom after a huge explosion. professor sharp has never removed it as a grim reminder of both of your "shameful" behavior during class (or perhaps he was actually amused by the incident). both of you got a week's worth of detention from that as well.
special mention to garreth completely burning off one of sebastian's eyebrows (a/n: watch this tiktok for the context)
how garreth realized he loves you: partner-in-crime? check. loves your personality? check. will probably die if you're not around? double check. he hates being away from you? CHECK. he would do all sorts of things to make you happy? check. you're an actual human being? surprisingly, after careful evaluation and contemplation, check.
and then realization dawns upon him that all this time, he's been in love with his best friend for years and counting. however out of fear of ruining the friendship, he decides not to confess
potions class - your absolute favorite. garrett, however, isn't looking particularly excited today - he absolutely dreads today's particular lesson: amortentia - the love potion.
garrett was determined to stay out of trouble today. getting professor sharp's attention is the worst thing that could possibly happen. unfortunately, violent sparks flew from his cauldron after he accidentally dropped his whole bottle of powdered moonstone due to his jitters.
"ah, perfect. mr weasley, please come up here. instead of blowing up another cauldron yet again, perhaps you should tell us what you smell?"
"a-ah. right, sir. um.. i smell..." 
garreth took a whiff. his senses went into full overdrive as a familiar, comforting array of scents engulfed him. long story short: his brain short-circuited.
“... (y/n)!” he blurted out of pure nervousness, causing an eruption of gasps and wolf whistles while you flushed pink at his sudden and rather public confession. garreth was absolutely mortified upon realizing what had happened as he rushed back to his station. as soon as potions classes ended, you approach garreth who was looking dejected.
"garreth, i-"
"yes, (y/n). i've loved you since we were kids-"
"wait. let me-"
"i know it took too long for me to realize-"
"garreth-"
"but it was always you and i got scared-"
he was cut off from rambling any further as you gave him a peck on the lips. the ginger-haired male was stunned, whispering an "oh" in realization as he slowly beamed.
"faculty tower after class? let's go to honeydukes."
you smiled, nodding in agreement.
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amit thakkar
oh boy, where do i even start with this one
long story short: it was love at first sight for him
but with how skittish he gets especially when he's around you? he avoids you like the plague to avoid making a fool out of himself
you bring out his dreamy, poetic side
he's a writer, so he secretly writes poems and stories about you as an outlet to express his love in some way
he keeps those several pieces of parchment sandwiched in between his thick books. whenever he secretly gets bored of the class, that's when he starts writing down those little (and unfortunately unsent) love notes
but alas, he can't avoid you forever. you were both assigned in pairs to map out several star charts for your astronomy class
he discovers that you do have a fascination for the cosmos just as he does, and that you're an avid listener to his enthusiastic ramblings about the said topic
eventually he starts to be more comfortable around you
he was content with this platonic set up actually - just you and him chilling under the night sky. hell, he feels lucky to be even graced by your presence
however, all hell broke loose because of everett clopton teasing him after he found one of his romantic literary snippets, thus resulting in the unconsented confession of his feelings towards you
amit has been avoiding you eversince that incident after charms class with everett clopton reciting one of his cheesy poems about you after taking his charms textbook without his permission. in a fit of embarrassment, he actually ran out of the classroom, ignoring your calls. for once, he didn't care about his time table, opting to retreat himself to his favorite corner at the library's 2nd floor as a means of consoling himself with the peaceful silence.
lately all he does is to drown out his racing thoughts by either reading one of his more complicated books or burying himself with extra work. humiliation aside, he really didn't know how to face you now. he thinks he has permanently lost you even as a platonic friend, and that's what crushed him the most about the situation.
he failed to notice the soft footsteps approaching him as he buried his nose behind a book once more.
"amit?"
he jolted up at the sound of your voice calling him and the both of you stared at each other in silence briefly. you were visibly rather nervous, playing with the dry skin of your fingertips - a mannerism amit had noted that you did whenever you get nervous.
"about charms class-"
"(y/n), don't worry about it. we don't have to-"
"no, please let me finish."
amit stilled, listening attentively.
"i got the book from everett when you rushed out of the classroom. i'm sorry, but i did read some of the other notes. but you have no idea how happy i was when i read them, amit."
you took a step forward, finally mustering enough courage to take his hand lovingly - a shy gesture of proclaiming your adoration towards him.
"could you make more of them, please? for me?"
it took a second or two for your rather cryptic confession to sink in. but the moment it did, amit was brimming with so much happiness he could burst anytime in that moment, wide smiles and all.
"yes, of course. but only after a date with you."
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tiny-sassy-aggressive · 4 months
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I am living blogging my reaction to the second watch through of WDAPTEO 4 bc the first run through was so much
00:00- I screamed when I saw the notif. I was alone in the car. Just pulled up to my apt looked at my phone and screamed “ no way “ I still can’t believe we got it
00:01- hi, they are SO BEAUTIFUL I’m squealing. I cannot stop staring it’s embarassing
00:27 what’s going on here? “Nothing” my heart. The smiles
00:50 oh I am LOVING the feature wall. And fish tank reveal project??
01:00 how dare they throw THAT japhan photo up there like it’s just some example. Who the hell do they think they are- also I want that doomed hoodie :( he is snug as a bug in a rug
01:50 terror not even 2 minute in and crack
02:03 I’m sorry Dan asking Phil about TikTok stuff is precious
02:13(What is cba)
02:39 I CACKLED. Phil’s sarcastic ass omg
02:44 dans little pat
02:58 phivorce
03:05 I know the ft, they are friends of course. But seeing the messages really warms my heart. Like it’s so normal why am I emotional
03:52 of course Phil sends millions of memes
04:10 how in the fuck did Phil catch his phone what??? Ft dans face during the whole interaction.
Ad time —— 04:25. Im sorry Dan looks fucking amazing, his hair is so curled and pretty? And he looks so comfy cozy and soft??? My Dannie side is really coming out rn
04:59 handsome devil, damn straight. Love this man he’s too precious for this world
05:23 🍑
05:55 are the Brits okay??? Bone daddies?? I’m too American for this
06:30 perfectly encapsulated Dan and Phil energy
06:35 Dan saying dude scratches a weird itch in my brain
06:55 again! Totally normal to call a friend in a taxi. But this moment makes them so real in my mind like yes. Call that friend. In that taxi. Make it less awkward. Why did I like this moment so much
07:05 A PRETEND CONVO OF COURSE HE WOULD. He’s so real for that
07:34 “these are very dan and Phil”
07:42 I’m in pain. Koala content and ouch I can’t even put into words
08:44 three days without a text sounds exaggerated. Or lie. Like cmon. All those messages and convos and yall went 3 days without a word?? Sounds fake
08:58 asking what he should do for his nails!!? Again totally normal but UGH I love their friendship
09:01 also Phil coming in with a STELLAR idea, hope to see it happen
09:11 Phil’s a little shit OMG he hated the nails Dan got.
09:38: dans precious little selfies
09:44 also who tf is that that does not look like Dan
09:52 wtf do you mean that they had the same weird Swedish bakery???? 10 years apart???? WHAT THE HELL??????
10:35 fuckin nerds ft cute ft selfie
10:52 Dan in Phil’s glasses hi what the fuck? Precious. Phil loves to take photos of Dan sleeping.
11:02 jump. Scare.
11:28 PHIL CALLED HIS MOM. NURSE LESTER.
12:11 Dan stalking the ring doorbell is not something I expected?
12:20 glad to know Phil and I share that we can’t hear someone saw our name bc it’s too intimate
13:16 ordering a roast dinner is so cute idk why
13:35 jump. Scare.
14:26 I hate them :( i so long for what they have
15:04 they didn’t see death note the musical!! Haters!!!!
15:20 HOT
16:00 Phil papping Dan>>>>>>
16:20 I rewatched this part so many times. Thsi entire sequence. This whole. Dare i say SCENE. Disgustingly familiar. Disgustingly cute. I- karaoke game???? What??? It was for them
17:06 omatone :(
18:22 hot? Worrying? Hmm???
18:45 Phil is so dramatic I love him
19:01 genre to dinner? I don’t get them
19:10 DAAAAAN AHHHHH
19:20 SCRIPTS AH???????3@2/9/@/9@22929 more writer Dan
20:17 this is so familiar
20:50 this has “would you still love me if I was a worm” energy? Can’t explain
22:53 “we dan and phil-ed it” we have to steal that! Asap’
23:24 when Dan sits up he is soooo much taller than Phil but he constantly slumps down and looks up to Phil. It’s very cute to watch.
24:30 oh they are fully embracing the joint channel and slowly moving away from gaming and honestly. I’m alright with it. They look so happy
Guys this was too much. So I just started reading fanfic and these conversations were right out of what I’ve been reading which is very odd tbh? But we were fed. This was amazing content and I can’t wait to see what the writers do with this. Cheers
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not-goldy · 7 months
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Sometimes I wish Jimin stop being so secretive on cam and basically a wallflower. I wish he speaks up more and calls out BS immediately, especially during lives like JK/Tae or Joon does or is it because he doesn't get much wierd comments 🤔. Also stop being so fucking humble.. like sir you are a history maker, everything you release are organic hits, have a huge fanbase, your bdays are celebrated as Christmas day, why tf would you think you don't even deserve a music show win ?????? Own your success and skills please 🤧
And I also wish JK stop being so impulsive, saying and doing absolute dumbest things 🤧 sometimes he sounds like those cocky boys who will say they'll make you come thrice in a row and will climax within 2 seconds lol. He's so cocky; knows he's hot and his impact but at the same time he still don't know what he really needs. So I wish he becomes more mature and get his shit together asap
Maybe if they use share these qualities a bit with each other it will be fine lol. JK sharing some of his cockiness with Jimin so he can go 'yeah that me, Park Jimin' bitches 💅' and Jimin sharing some of his level headness with JK, so he can think before doing and saying some things 🥲
Idk how they are even navigating through their relationship when both are on opposite ends of attitude and lifestyles, like is that even possible ? Won't both parties get sick of each other soon? ... or maybe like you said JK is the freedom Jimin is craving for and Jimin is the leash JK very much needed 🤷‍♀️
Set me free was liberating for me and I think Jungkook too cos he stamped his approval on it like you could tell Jimin frustrates him sometimes with the kill them with kindness vibes he has going on.
And I know Jimin is not a push over too cos there's some really hard core ghettoness buried deep inside his slytherine heart- he is the master of self control cos I'll be getting canceled every second if I were him🥲🥲🥲
I'll be dropping mid night rants talking bout yall could never be me😭😭😭😭🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Hash tag jealous
Hash tag up in your man's arms 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
And he lowkey be shading too but we don't talk about that🥲
He's constantly trolling haters posting Jungkook shirtless, leaning on him kissing up on him daring yall to come for Kook if he's your mans💔💔💔💔
This literally him on these streets he eats and wink
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Shade is cool Jimin but throw the damn tree too🤣
They are both fascinating.
Oh lord not 2 seconds 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
You is going to hell for that😭😭😭🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
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Not gonna lie, I do enjoy his chaotic character most times. I'm big on diversity. If everyone acted the same way they'd be boring as hell plus I like my BTS a tad crackheads🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
JUNGKOOK'S a vibe. Not many idols like him. He be be tanking on the idol part sometimes- I don't think he even sees or thinks of himself as an idol😭😭🤣🤣
An idol is a whole personna carefully curated to appeal to an audience- when I tell you Jungkook ain't curating shit for no one and to please no one😭😭😭😭😭
Tell him to do aigoo I dare ya🤣🤣🤣😭😭😭😭
Sometimes I just play his memes and sleep. It's the new Netflix and chill for me.
Doesn't take himself too too serious, easy going non judgemental, quirky😭😭😭
And he is very relatable. We all don't say the right things all the time, or do the right things and overthink everything.
Some people don't find that attractive in Idols but I like it. That that I like that
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Im a bit of a crack head myself so.... anywho
For an idol, yea perhaps he could be a bit more controlled and polished but not too much cos then he'd lose relatability and seem outta touch.
Frankly I think they are both perfect as they are💀
I wouldn't change much but you are right they both could influence eachother a bit and they do TRUST. 💜
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tiredlilguy · 9 months
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BSD|The Flags Poly HC's
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come get your girl dinner, you know who you are cw: not proofread, suggestive//, a little fucked up (what do you expect though... they're mafia) notes: not adding chuuya because he was 16 at the same time they were around their 20's, reader suggested to be around their age. im just trying to cope with the recent chapter ;-;
I feel like Pianoman, Lippman, and Albatross would probably be the most provocative and louder lovers, while Iceman and Doc are kind of like “they’ll come around to me when they want to” attitude
Pianoman LOVES having you on his lap, he’s always using his “leader privilege” to be able to hold you the longest
Pianoman is handsy, but Alb is clingy… like Pianoman would be the one to try and sneak a hand to your ass, but Alb just likes hugs and holding you
Speaking of Alb, he definitely likes to steal you away all the time
Can and will just take you out of a cafe date with Lippman so then he can drive you to some random empty parking lot in the middle of nowhere just to make out with you
You have them all of a leash, and they will be there at your beck and call
Bet if you’re in trouble with something (they know very well you’re capable), doesn’t matter if it’s personal or not, they’re there
Iceman is a simp, I can definitely see him trying to be chill about your attention being on everyone else, but he’s a little jealous… he won’t say anything though
One time, Lippmann was watching Pianoman’s hand that was on your thigh as you were sitting on his lap. Pianoman eventually noticed and looked up at Lippman with a smirk and said: “ You wanna join?”
You ended up in between them that night (god, I desperately want that to be me)
You hear all the hospital drama from doc:
“ You remember […]?”
“ Yeah?”
“ Well they lost their other leg. When I tell you that I’m probably going to run out of prosthetics to put on this guy… Though, I may consider trying to Frankenstein them with a new leg. What do you think?”
Doc gifts you flowers, but he always gets the ones that are small (he thinks that they are like him, so that’s why he gets them for you), OR he’d gift you jars of severed limbs/eyes/etc
If he does surgery on you, he’s going to find some way to give you an extra organ and just not tell you about it. I guess enjoy your new third kidney babes (this is a crack hc, but I did see it from a meme)
Albatross seems like the typa guy to gift you a taxidermied animal, idk why… he gives me those vibes, like how a crow will gift you a dead mouse as thanks for saving it (Albatross is the name of a bird after all)
NO ACTUALLY, ALB DEFINITELY GIFTS ILLEGAL FISH/WHALE BONES
He’s definitely a genius at getting stuff on the black market (I mean, he can operate and fix every/any vehicle), probably had the highest bid on like an extinct whale tooth and smuggled it in to gift to you somehow
Doc and alb are fucked in the head, they just wanna show you that they love you
Anyways
Iceman seems like the type to gift you either old records, things that remind you of him, or things the reminds him of you
Lippman gifts really expensive things like designer bags or clothing
Pianoman doesn’t seem like much of a gift person, but he’d probably get you something more sentimental: like a simple (but expensive) necklace, or very romantic letters
Lippmann LOVES to spoil you: literally will take you to everything, always has you at any of his interviews (though you’re probably in disguise), or at movie/tv show shoots
Iceman definitely likes to have you to himself, he doesn’t mind the poly relationship, but if you’re with him, he doesn’t like to share
That said, if he does have you for a night, bet it’s going to be a good night (in both ways)
If you are getting shared it’s most likely pianoman + Lippmann or alb + doc
Though of course the six of you are always together, I mean hey, u got the cream of the crop of the Port Mafia all to yourself 
If you get signed a solo mission, at least one of them is either going with you or watching you on the sidelines
One time it ended up being where all of them showed up and they comedically fell out from behind a corner (the sillies)
I can imagine a scenario where you all end up going on a vacation to somewhere where there’s a beach
It was Lippmann’s idea
The end goal was to see you in swimwear- like that was the original idea… they’re horndogs
Pianoman puts his coat on you if you’re feeling cold, likes to see you put the sleeves on and see the coat sort of pool over you
Trust, if someone hurts you, that person is getting their ass demolished, beaten tf up, burned, sunk into the ground, dead as hell
They’d probably make a mess of the person who hurt you, so much so that the person is beyond recognition
Probably the one time that they let Albatross go loose (he’s probably beating the shit out of the dead body)
They do love you, they’re just a little fucked in the head
The skrunklies
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powderblueblood · 2 months
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Can we please talk about the Jonathan of it all? I love that lacy had the tiniest thing for him before nancy had him all spellbound (no hate to my girl nancy. She can't help it that her pussy pop's severely or however that meme goes) lacy likes herself a weirdo and I am right there with her. I want to ask, she mentions they went out on one date and you mention it a bit but was it really a date or something she, for lack of a better word, tricked him in to? because we both know he wouldn't have asked her out and I'm completely unsure if she'd even utter the word 'date' to him because it might have spooked him or had him thinking she was trying to pull something on him. Basically I want to know how you think lacy would have gotten him to agree to even meet in the park because as stated in a later chapter, he's pretty hard to get a hold of. sorry I'm fixating on this one part. it's just, idk i really liked that lacy saw something in him and went as far as she did to pursue him, you know?
never apologize for fixating in my inbox EVER, that's what this place is for. this dynamic is so secretly special to me. i honestly think if things were different and lacy didn't need a motormouth like munson to rev her engine up and bring her to life out of sheer annoyance, there would be a strong dair energy between her and jonathan. he appealed to something very real within her; he's sweet and thoughtful and sweet and thoughtful are in short supply. the following is how lacy and jonathan ended up standing elbow-to-elbow in main street vinyl that fateful summer. written in the third person because i thought, why not, fun. part of the hellfire & ice universe
HAWKINS, INDIANA. JULY 1982-ISH, SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
Dear reader,
Summer makes us pliable, I think. It makes us liquid and wanting. We've hit record temperatures this July, and even the best conditioned of places feel like they're warping. I find myself spilling over into things I usually wouldn't, looking over people's shoulders to peer into how they're handling the heat. Anything to break the monotony of Carol's/gas station/Lover's Lake/Skull Rock/substitute as appropriate.
I'm not finding anything interesting. Or didn't. Until today.
TRACK ONE - MARQUEE MOON by TELEVISION.
The weather that day was too heavy for the sky to hold, and Lacy's sour mood with everyone was too heavy to gloss out. She peeled her car out of the rocky bank at Lover's Lake and may have nipped Harrington's on the way, humidity fogging over her spatial awareness.
No one bothered to poke holes in Lacy's flimsy excuse for leaving, which she kind of resented--in fact, she was kind of resenting the grand dearth in attention she was getting. Cass on Mikey, Carol on Tommy, Tina chasing Steve, Derek pouring over Nicole, but no one quite zeroing in on her. The boys would shoot a stolen glance her way when her shirt and shorts came off, a momentary and forbidden distraction from whatever they were supposed to be locked into.
She's gorgeous, sure. And she knows it, of course. But not gorgeous enough to latch onto, it seems. Nothing of substance there. Lacy was bored to distraction herself.
Once she hit the throbbing, melting concrete of Hawkins' main drag again, she parked a couple of blocks away from the record store, figuring it would do no good to hitch her car right out front. Even if no one was looking for her. Lacy was a girl made of buffers and alibis, pushing the heavy glass door open just as the lightning cracks overhead. It announced her arrival in a way she could have done without.
The clerk, Jerry, a man made up of mostly Groucho Marx facial hair with bifocals perched on top, regarded her with a half-second glance. Lacy patted her perspiring brow as delicately as possible and wound her way towards the 'T's. She had a riff caught in her head that the darkening sky inspired, with all that threatening rain and achy rumbles of thunder, and she needed to exorcise it. It wasn't something she could do in the grand privacy of her own bedroom, because this was a purchase she hadn't smuggled home yet.
Plucking the record out and looking to the listening booths with a satisifed quirk of her lips, Lacy caught Jonathan Byers' dark, serious, brow-knit stare the very second before he thought to snap back around. His headphones skewed against his dull brown hair in a way she knew should have disgusted her. Pavlovian, Lacy waited for her learned reaction to kick in; a lurch, an ew, Byers, what a weirdo! squeeze of the abdominal muscles but... nothing. Nothing happened.
Like she'd left the part of herself that knew how to perform that back at the lake with the others.
Whatever.
The listening booth beside Jonathan Byers stood free. His spine visibly stiffened as she stepped up to his right, picking up the headphones and putting the needle down. The perspex between them was stained heavily, browned blotches of nicotine from decades past, but still transparent enough to see through. And Lacy could feel Jonathan's stare again, beady and judging and zeroing in on the vinyl cover as she flipped it over in her careful hands.
Confusion teemed off him in waves, prompting her to feel something-- a kind of smug indulgence in the notion that he might be thinking, What the fuck is Lacy Doevski doing listening to Television?
Smugger still that if he were to tell anyone, no one would ever believe him.
TRACK TWO - HERE SHE COMES NOW by THE VELVET UNDERGROUND.
Jonathan doesn't spend any time thinking about people like Lacy Doevski, and he means that. Not a flitting fantasy of oh, what would it be like to have the glaring sun of someone so popular shone upon him, nothing like that. Kid's a realist, okay? He knows that people like Lacy are not even worth entertaining the thought--plus, she's mean. As kindergarten as it sounds, he about as much mean in his life as he can handle, thank you very much.
But there's something about a person encroaching on your space, especially in summertime. Was it not for the perspex, they'd be elbow-to-elbow at the listening booths of Main Street Vinyl. And due to the Byers' shot air conditioning with no fix in budget and therefore in sight, he comes here every day to avail of those big box fans. So, unfortunately, does Lacy.
Doesn't she have a state of the art unit she could be sitting in front of, blasting cold air and listening to all these records that she can definitely afford but never ends up buying in the privacy of her own plush Loch Nora home? Why does she hang around here with a soft sheen of perspiration on her forehead that she has to keep shyly dabbing at? Irritably flipping her hair as she tries to subtly spy what he's listening to?
She's not as smooth as she thinks she is.
Why did she roll her eyes and smile a little when she spotted the copy of White Light/White Heat he was listening to? Why did she swap out what she was spinning for a copy of The Velvet Underground & Nico?
Why did Jonathan kind of smile back?
TRACK THREE - FEAR IS A MAN'S BEST FRIEND by JOHN CALE.
Shutting up feels good in a place like this.
Not that Lacy doesn't thrive off the empty caloric intake of a good gossip, but a break in the buzz became more and more adored. And this wordless game of record chicken she'd taken to playing with Jonathan Byers...
Well, how does one explain that without coming across as cruel? Fact was, she was having fun with it and a huge portion of that pie was because Jonathan was so far out in the social hinterlands that it would never blow back on her. No one would ever accuse Lacy of having freak-loving tendencies because no one would ever care to notice Jonathan in the presence of someone like her. He was younger and he was quiet. He had a busted up family, of course, no one found that too interesting. He didn't parade himself around as a paragon of oddity like some people did, like that Munson kid did. He was just... nobody. And for a while, so was she, and it didn't feel entirely terrifying.
The two of them fell into this strange, silent rhythm, where it appeared to the naked eye that they were just two distant classmates standing next to one another in this stuffy record store.
But Jonathan's nose would wrinkle if she was listening to something he didn't recognize, and he'd tug at the hair behind his ear if he did. Jonathan's nose was always a little oily and a soft waft of body odor escaped under his deodorant as he passed her in the stacks-- yet, none of these imperfections triggered that habitual repulsion that they ought to. That they would have, if school was still in session. Instead, Lacy began to feel this animalic pull toward them.
It was as if she immediately started to try and sniff him out each time she entered the store.
And Lacy being Lacy, the pull made her want to push back. Threaten it. Break the unspoken covenant they had and see what Jonathan would do. Boredom with your life begets a thing like that, you see. So, she lifted her needle off John Cale, curved her fingers around the stained plastic that separated them and said, "I love Linda Thompson's voice, don't you?"
He'd never directly met her eyes before then.
"You wh-- sorry?"
TRACK FOUR - SUGAR ON MY TONGUE by THE TALKING HEADS.
Jonathan's a good judge of character. You have to be, with a father like Lonnie and a mother like Joyce. You have to know how to spot someone who's an asshole or someone on the verge of a breakdown from a few hundred miles away. You have to know the difference between good company and bad; Jonathan's skilled at that. Just, so far, seems that the only good company in Hawkins is his own.
Until. Well. Listen.
Lacy kind of made the lines blur.
He couldn figure out if she was fucking with him or not.
Instinct told him that she was; that this was some big elaborate plot to humiliate him somehow, because something like that always seems to be lurking around the corner for him. But the way she smoothed the arch out of her brow when she spoke to him--bitesized sentences, Bagel Bites of conversation--made Jonathan edge closer to that dangerous maybe not.
And they only ever talked about music.
Lacy did most of the heavy lifting, with Jonathan too struck to offer anything beyond a single-word affirmation or a strangled smile over the alarm bells that kept ringing in his head. She kept going, however, saying these incredibly clever, snipped, almost curated things that made Jonathan notice the shape of her mouth.
"...and I actually have that. I could make you a tape."
Jonathan's finger twisted into the wire of his headphones. "Oh, you don't-- I actually, I have this one too."
"Oh."
What was he talking about? That copy of Talking Heads: 77 that he's played to death but couldn't find for the life of him, not in the deepest recesses of his bedroom? The fact that it was missing brought about crazy feelings of self betrayal because that thing was one of Jonathan's prized possessions. Not least of all because it came out the same year he turned ten; same year Lonnie made him shoot a rabbit, same year he proved to Lonnie that he'd never be the man his father wanted him to be.
"Um, no, actually," Jonathan said, pinching the bridge of his nose, "I lost it, actually. My copy." Say actually one more time, buddy. "But you don't have to."
Lacy gave him a look that was solid and confident, one he almost recognized from the real-her, the one that existed in the spaces outside this record store. This looked more genuine, though. Like there was light behind her eyes.
"I want to," she said, "I wouldn't have offered if I didn't want to."
TRACK FIVE - PABLO PICASSO by THE MODERN LOVERS.
"Meet me in the park at off Maple at like... midday?" Lacy knew how it sounded, so she gave him a shrug, one so characteristic and comforting to her. Sliding responsibility right off the curve of one shoulder. "Or don't. It's up to you. But that's where I'll be."
And if she's confessional honest, she hadn't expected him to come. To breach containment of the bubble they'd created in the listening booths, hogging them away from the other patrons of the store. It was safe there, where they didn't have to exchange pleasantries like how are you or what's new, where things were abstracted yet so incredibly personal because this, this, music was one of her secret vestiges that she didn't share with anyone.
To bring it out in the light like this, in the pollen-filled field, to a pockmarked picnic table, meant Lacy was risking it.
Most of her knew that a thing like this couldn't survive being outside it's stuffy, soundtracked bell jar. But the little flicker that thought, dangerously, maybe burned bright in her. In some long neglected place.
"Hey."
"Oh, hi."
Summer makes you pliable. Makes you want to try anything.
It had that effect on Jonathan too, because he showed. But Jonathan shies away from the light; even sitting with Lacy in the shade, the farthest he could position himself from her, he squinted and hunched and looked all apologetic about it. Lacy couldn't hack through the awkwardness with a chainsaw, one she wanted so desperately to rev and scream,
DO YOU LIKE ME OR HAVE I BEEN WASTING MY TIME? I THINK YOU'RE NICE. NO ONE'S NICE. I SHOWED YOU SOMETHING NO ONE ELSE GETS TO SEE. SHOULD WE TRY SOMETHING? DO YOU READ ME?
Everything is that serious when you're sixteen.
The pirated tape of Talking Heads: 77 sat between them on the bench, and Nancy Wheeler crested the hill with a dog on a leash, and Lacy watched as Jonathan's eyes opened. His shoulders relaxed some and his face took on a faintness of a glow she had recognized, because Steve Harrington had looked at Nancy that very same way a couple of weeks back.
Not a look of distraction. Because they were in the real world now.
Spell broken, bubble popped. The shame that she would ever be so stupid to try something like this blew through her like a harsh gust, snuffing out the hope-- because no matter what she does, what she chances to reveal to boys like Jonathan who operate with a sweetness, who need coaxing, there'll always be kinder. There'll always be better. There'll always be Wheeler.
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nnnyxie · 1 year
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SLIDES IN AND PROCEEDS TO KNOCK DOWN A SMALL SIDE TABLE AND A VASE HAAAAAAYYYYYYY BESTIIIEEEEEE !!! ヘ⁠(⁠ ̄⁠ω⁠ ̄⁠ヘ⁠) I come bearing my anticipated requests!!; if it be in your best interest, I would LOVE to see what concoction you bubble up in that cauldron of fascination we call a brain. It goes unsaid! — I love your writing. 🌷
(Insert New Yorker accent) Y'see, CJ.. i've had a hankering for some Peepaw Turtles (& Mama April if you can imagine it). (swirls cup in hand, sloshing the contents inside like some sophisticated taboo drink, some mystery liquid, but it's literally just cranberry juice)
I'm diggin' for the typical Found Family trope, all that jazz. Feel me? Platonic, of course! Who d'ya think I am? — Envision with me, CJ! (that one Buzz and Woody meme, you know the one)
Headcanons for 🥁🥁 :: A child reader! Adopted into the loving encompassing warmth that is the arms of the Hamato Clan? Each of them aged up as appropriate barely functioning adults, ✨thriving✨ in the happy ending that is Post-Kraang New York, everyone doing their own thing and most importantly they've got each other. THEN, oh, but THEN—
A kid comes along. That kid, cast-aside with nobody and nothing to their name (because apparently after a whole 🍑 war, we can't have EVERYTHING THAT'S NICE /lh /but also srs), timid and beaten by the world but still loves somethin' fierce with a heart of gold, is found one day by the respective member of the Clan! All of whom, individually, agree to take them in and watch them flourish from under their wing. At least until they can fly on their own. But even then, they'll still always be there for them. They never thought they'd have a kid Leo with the exception of Casey, and Don's Shelldon ofc I have respect on my main bot's name, but that's just life isn't it? It's full of surprises.
Whaddya say? You up to the plate? (affectionately and very gently slugs your chin, like a dad or smth PFT 😂💕)
𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙢𝙪𝙘𝙝 𝙪𝙥 𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙚 !!
𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙞𝙨 𝙨𝙪𝙘𝙝 𝙖 𝙘𝙪𝙩𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩 ! 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧 𝙞𝙨 𝙖𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙙 10?? 𝙞𝙩 𝙞𝙨𝙣’𝙩 𝙤𝙪𝙩𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝
𝙑𝙀𝙍𝙔 𝙈𝙐𝘾𝙃 𝙋𝙇𝘼𝙏𝙊𝙉𝙄𝘾 (@ 𝙪 𝙬𝙚𝙞𝙧𝙙𝙤𝙨 𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚)
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- idk if you have siblings but,, yk how they’ll playfully fight and say “mom/dad found you in the dumpster”?? well that was ACTUALLY the case for you. you were literally found in (near) a dumpster.
- i think april was the one to find you ofc !! she saw you were badly bruised and injured but still held out a fight against her bc you didn’t know her.
- eventually she gets you to calm down and leads you back to the lair. on your walk back she lets everyone know the situation
- when you walk into the lair with april, their hearts immediately drop bc,,, why is there a little kid out in the city alone???
- the first thing they do is take you to med bay to tend to your injuries. it hurts the turtles and april to see a little kid so injured.
- while they’re patching you up, april asks you what was going on and why you were alone. you explained to her that your parents were lost during the war and you had stayed at a foster home before running away bc your foster mom was a pos :(
- this made them feel very conflicted bc on one hand, you need to go back but on the other, you shouldn’t go back.
- they made sure you were asleep before bringing this topic up.
“we can’t just let them go back there… you heard what the kid said!” april exclaimed, her voice was cracking at the thought of what that woman did to you. “i know… i know. but what can we do? there’s obviously gonna be some sort of search or something.” donnie sighed into his hands. “what if we just like… kept them but legally.” leo suggested with a curious look. mikey tilted his head, “do you mean adopt them?” “ahah! that’s what it’s called!” leo snapped his fingers. raph told them they should discuss this in further detail before jumping straight to that.
- so after a very long discussion on what to do, they decide that adoption would be a good choice, but only if you wanted them to.
- when you woke up from your nap, they sat you down and spoke to you about it. you were extremely wary of them, being in the system was difficult and unsafe sometimes.
- you decided to say ‘f it all, if they kill me then at least i’ll go out with a full stomach’
- april is quick to start the process. she knew that she could adopt you. she has a stable income, a two bedroom place, and plenty of time to raise you well.
- once the forms and orders are properly processed, you’re officially released into her care.
- it’s the first time you’ve felt,,, safe since the loss of your parents at 6 yrs old.
- they protect you with their life, train you to defend yourself, and help you with your schoolwork (donnie mainly)
- they see how much potential you have and teach you the hamato clan’s ways.
- they see your burning passion for justice even though you’re so young.
- never would they have thought that a kid (besides casey) would effect them this much.
- they didn’t even expect to be raising a kid, especially all together. it was never in their itinerary. but that doesn’t mean they love you any less.
- you’re their world now and they need to protect you until you’re strong enough to take off on your own. they hoped it’d be long before that could happen.
- also when casey jr sees you he’s just like ‘ayo?! my older sib is a whole child now???’
- then upon hearing this, the clan now knew that no matter what were to have happened, they would’ve taken you in anyways.
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𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙨𝙤 𝙨𝙬𝙚𝙚𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙬𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 <3
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roseamongroses · 11 months
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"AITA FOR EDITING MY BOSS'S SUPERHERO SUIT HOLOGRAM INTO A BUNNY FIT MID FIGHT CAUSE HE DELETED MY SIMS CC FOLDER"
Idc if im the asshole tbh but I think this is funny. I (15F) am a hero intern for this fairly big company, think superhuman secret society typa shit.
The thing is because I'm more of a "in the chair" hero, I spend a fair amount of time in the Headquarter's lab. My work load swings between nothing to fucking do and non-stop crisis mode.
Somedays I literally can't afford to take normal breaks and go home This facility, despite all the money we get, is held together with a paperclip cyber-security wise (and security wise. there's one them that lowkey be stealing but i aint a snitch okay). We do have an AI program (she's great, love her) but she's hella overworked too and essentially babysits the boss in the field, in his personal life, etc.
So forgive me if during the brief moments of peace, I happen be playing the sims. I never use the work monitors for this and the AI is fully aware that this is how I take my "breaks" and is FINE with it.
But one day the boss randomly walked in while I was busy browsing some hair options and lost his shit. "Something, something, anomoly" I don't even remember what he said, all ik is he was growling n shit over my shoulder with his stank ass breath. I didn't even think he was mad at ME fr-- he's just unhealed like that, so i let that shit go this time.
i leave to grab lunch rq and come back. day goes by normally. but when i log back into MY PERSONAL COMPUTER, my shit was gone.
Obviously ik it was him. No one else cares enough to do anything like that. So i go confront him. And of course that villianous ass bitch is cracking a smile talking bout some "you can play dress up at home,". like NO???? SIR I NEVER GO HOOOMMME. IM HERE ALL THE TIME???
keep in mind i do NOT get paid for this. the most i get is experience and a therapy session on Wednesdays, thats it.
unhealthy yes, but he knows that i care about this work and he def knows my home life isn't the best anyways. so idk why he was being so petty about it.
but since we're being petty now of course i had to go lower.
he has this lil hologram suit. it's cute or whatever, super secure. but i just asked his AI for a favor and she let me go ham on the programing.
everytime the program detects his heartrate above a certain level, his costume will change. i have it cycling through a few options, but the bunny suit has been a fan favorite lately.
he's pretty pissed about it and ik he suspects me, but he doesn't want to admit that i somehow got into his superfancy tech and embaressed him. so its a lot of passive aggressiveness and for sulking now. everytime he changes it, i change it back and then some. it's fun.
it has also become a growing meme in the work gcs, tho some of the heros have tried to scold me about it. but tbh idc. none of the costumes impede his work, if anything the distraction helps him catch villians off guard. so pretty harmless, i could do worst. so im taking suggestions on how to keep ruining his day until i get bored of it (or till i get all my cc redownloaded).
update: thank you for all the outfit suggestions!! also to the grown men mad at me in my messages, check ur emails for something fun :)
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ofallthingsnasty · 3 months
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This is highly unlikely to happen BUT imagine the show Wife Swap (old american reality show from the early 2000s). I never saw a single episode and don’t intend to but the premise is simple (and really weird lmao): two wives from vastly different families swap households for a while. Shenanigans ensue.
Anyways, there is not a chance in hell Crocodile would let his basement wife anywhere near Doflamingo, but imagine some devil fruit fuckery swaps basement wife and the family pet temporarily. Everyone, except for Doflamingo maybe, will be having a really hard time until wife and pet can be located and brought back to their proper places
Oh, anon if only you knew - the German version was a huge part of my tween years, mainly because of one specific meme that came out of it (Frauentausch-Andreas)💀 The thought is so fucking funny, though. Idk what it is about dark content with a crack-treated-seriously twist, but it makes me laugh.
tw. crack treated seriously, noncon (only for Doffy), basement wife is fat + fem, family pet is gn as always
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Oh my god, call that basement wife's terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. You thought your cartoonishly evil pseudo-husband was bad? Hah, you know absolutely nothing, you stupid little thing. When Doflamingo scrapes you out of the crate instead of his little bipedal dog, he's confused - but he can put two and two together, and quickly at that. Obviously, you're not some assassin (really, what kind of strategy is that? Killing one of his family, making the body disapear and then wait for him to appear? Hilariously bad, honestly), not some spy and you really, really aren't the one who's supposed to sit in that cage. And when you start crying the moment he asks you what the hell you're doing here, he knows this isn't intentional. At all. Another once-over, a look at your weird little outfit, at the clunky stone on your hand and it clicks - he only knows one man with a similar taste in clothing and jewelry. Would you look at that, it's Crocodile's well-kept (and apparently not-so-little) secret. Reality can be stranger than fiction, huh? He's real nice after that epiphany. Too nice. Sits you down with a cup of tea like you're old friends, seats himself across from you, legs perched on the table while he smiles. Chats. Laughs. Acts overly familiar. It's bizarre to witness - but he's trying to glean what exactly you, the little teary-eyed butterball you are, offer Crocodile over him. Really, he's a little hurt: you're drab and soggy and soft in more ways than one, you cower and snivel in front of him like some beaten dog. The only fact that saves you from being mind-numbingly boring is that you're immensely valuable to Crocodile - and it makes ideas pop up in his head. He really likes the way you're stunned into silence when he suddenly uses his powers to immobilize you, right as you're in the middle of talking. And he gets why Crocodile keeps you around when you're bent over the table and he fucks you until you're just a sobbing mess. It's at least a little different from his usual endeavours and he takes his sweet time with you, leaves some evidence for the other man to discover later on. Once the mix-up is solved, Doflamingo hands you back dressed entirely in pink and with a thousand yard stare in your eyes. Will ask Crocodile about you every time he sees him from then on, a shit-eating grin on his face while the other almost loses it.
On the other hand, family pet does pretty well, considering the circumstances. I'd even argue it's the best you've been in years - because someone is treating you like an actual person, for once. Even if they aren't being kind. Crocodile is wary, of course - every single member of Doflamingo's posse is not to be taken lightly - but he also knows you. The fucking bird dragged you into official meetings enough for you to be a familiar face to him. He's furious, seething, beyond angry - but it's not necessarily directed at you. Doflamingo has to be behind all of this, he's sure of it, and you're just the collateral. (Admittedly, weird collateral, as you're the apple of Doflamingo's eye, always kept on his arm, cooed at, just treated like some ghoulish human pet, but who knows how the bird works? He sure as hell doesn't.) He'll probaby try to squeeze some information out of you (and when that doesn't help, he'll just plop you into a seastone cage and try to solve the mystery on his own. Yeah, he almost killed you minutes before - but then again, maybe you're worth something? He can always get rid of you later, maybe you do still have some value... He's feeling a lot of emotions, give him a minute.) Really, it's not that bad. You've been through worse. When everything is cleared up, I think he'd even let you take a bath and feed you a proper meal (on a plate!! A plate! Not a bowl!) before he'll trade you back in for his weirdly apathetic looking wife...
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pianocat939 · 1 year
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Could we please get more of the yandere rottmnt with a younger sibling reader?
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Sure! I've been kinda laughing for a while now over some random shitposting haha.
Tw: mention of murder, overprotective behaviour, controlling behaviour, crack and fluff
Some Hcs with Yandere Turtles with Younger Sibling MC
(MC is a turtle mutant for those who don't know)
✦Ramona✦
As we all know, he's the mama of the group. That solo mission episode where Mikey got babied at times? Yeah take that but amp it up.
He likes to carry you around just so he knows where you are and what you're doing. He especially does this if you're in the Hidden City.
Works together with Mikey and Donnie to have a nutrition management system. Primarily because he has a habit of spoiling you.
Bedtime at 10. No questions asked.
"No, you are not going to stay up until 3 AM giggling at videos on social media. Now, bed."
Asian kids, you know how your mom/dad just walks in and randomly gives you cut-up fruits? That's him. Gives you a hug when he leaves.
You are not allowed to touch hot foods/containers, let big bro handle it.
✦Le' bottomsworth✦
The spoiler/rule breaker brother ig.
You need to buy/get something but aren't allowed to leave? He has you covered, just say the word and he's sassily homosexual walking over there.
Teaches you sword art when you guys are free. Lets you win before going in for the "kill".
If you can't sleep bcs it's too early/insomnia then he'll know. He teleports or pokes a head through and keeps you company.
"Yeah so um. Do you have any dirt on Donnie? I need something good to attack him with."
You guys break rules together. It pisses both Raph and Donnie.
Texts you memes at 3 AM with 13 emojis alongside.
If you ever speak about a friend he'll get jealous real quick. He'll start interrogating you and makes up his mind to frame them somehow.
He teaches you self-defense yet does everything to ensure he does most of the actual fighting. He's not risking it.
✦Da Hermione Granger but in Purple✦
Builds you a protective shell whether you like it or not. You will wear it at all times other than sleeping. Oh did I mention there's a camera on the back side?
I know siblings aren't supposed to have favorites but Donnie will have a personal beef meter with Leo. (Right? I'm an only child so idk)
"I'm the favorite. Why else would they come to me every day? Leo, you stand nothing against me."
Tries to teach you about his tech, not only because it's his special interest but so he can brag he's the better parental-brother (oh and favorites).
Loves playing video games with you.
If he doesn't like certain media on your phone/devices he'll eliminate them. Including some of the memes Leo sent.
Shares his playlist like it's the last thing on earth to do.
If you like an interest in something and he notices it he'll buy/invent stuff.
✦Mi Left Gripper✦
Aww, it's your twin. Welp time to activate clingy af.
He whines if he isn't in the same room as you, to the point Raph and Leo have to pry him off.
Loves cooking your favorite meals! It's his way of showing that he loves you so much and that everybody else should burn away.
Draws you a lot too. If you're an artist he likes exchanging art styles, portraits, anything really.
Freaks the fuck out if sees even the slightest inconvenience in front of you.
"OMIGOSH! YOU STUBBED YOUR TOE! DONNIE, EMERGENCY CALL!"
Do you like fashion? If so, please exchange outfits with him so he can take the clothing to his secret shrine of his adorable twin!
Will jump on top of you to wake you up.
✦All✦
No leaving the lair without a trusted member of the family.
Friends can only be friends after background checks and approval.
Daily head pats are a must.
——————————————————
That was really on crack ok. Do you guys like the names I chose? I used all my brain cells for "Mi Left Gripper".
- Celina
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catgirlforeskin · 7 months
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The "egg" again.
I assume that my old ask (insecure anon) is buried forever, so I may as well restate it here.
Thank you, being a girl is cool, but it feels like lying. Girls love having boobs, and I don't want anything bigger than AAA, if anything at all. Some girls even want SRS, though you are different*. And girls don't say shit I said. I know that not everyone knows since age 5, but living until 17.5 years without feeling different is beyond pale. Like I felt different from other boys, and since at least 14 I considered myself more feminine than them (de facto I was always more feminine, but I didn't think that it was a good thing), but, as I said, I was completely fine making "relatable" memes about boyhood. I did like to consider myself more of a girl, especially when doing quizzes, but still.
(*Side note, but I went on r/MtF, and it feels like some girls straight up consider those without bottom dysphoria just crossdressers, they don't say it, but my feminine intuition tells me this. I guess it's only tumblr that celebrates girlcock)
So saying "Surprise, I am a girl now!" feels like lying. And I don't want to be a liar.
Saying that I am nonbinary also feels like just wanting to be special. I don't believe that someone can be raised in the West and not think that androgyne is a superior form of human being. So it sounds like "I am not just a boy, I am more special. Don't look that I don't socially transition, I am not a boy, trust me".
The label that I fancy somewhat is eunuch, because it doesn't make me sound like an attention seeker, but there are real eunuchs, and they are different, so it's not very chivalrous of me.
So yes, I am just sitting here, no idea who am I, no social transition, does it even matter?
17.5 is honestly an early age to realize for trans women. I personally know women who didn’t realize until their mid-20s or 30s, and there’s lots of trans people who realize at every stage of life.
Reddit trans women, especially ones who post on the big trans subreddits, generally are assimilationists and hate everyone who don’t want to assimilate like them. They’re cowardly idiots and I don’t care about any bad things that happen to them.
You keep going “well real women don’t do or want X Y and Z and I do so clearly I’m not a real woman” when like. Those things also apply to a majority of women. The enforced cishet standards of womanhood fucking suck and most women chafe against at least parts of them.
Theres plenty of women who like having small or no breasts and plenty of women who didn’t realize until late in life and all this other shit, and saying “well obviously I’m not a woman if I’m like that” is just kinda stupid.
Honestly it’s part of why I don’t hang out around a lot of recently cracked girls because they’re often so mired in that “I’m not a real girl because X” dysphoria shit when like. Half the people around them still have the trait they’re complaining about. Idk it’s just like, take your damn girl pills and shut up lol, have some lesbian sex and get over it
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anyalovesu · 4 months
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tolerate it.
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pairing: sunghoon x oc (jake x oc & jangkku at some point)
summary: being trapped in an ordeal of a marriage is already as stupid as it sounds. it’s not like eli had the choice to say no and walk away because news flash, that’s never been in any of the options if there were even options at all. it’s always been sucking it up and making something tolerable out of the circumstances that were given to her. but being stuck in a nightmare of a marriage with someone she used to have memorized inside and out is a whole ‘nother realm of hell.
genre: angst ( a lot of it ); forced marriage; forced proximity; childhood besties to enemies to lovers ( maybe ); fluff ( maybe ); a sprinkle of crack; slow burn
content warning: might include suggestive jokes ( idk about nsfw content yet, but yea ) and ( definitely ) a lot of curse words ( mostly in filipino because it has that sparkle )
note: i might be posting this to twt and i'm only posting it here as my drafts lmao so i preferred to change all of their names instead so i'd have no trouble posting it there ( ps. mostly bc im kinda uncomfy to use their actual names when makings aus lol ); this will be filo fic, i am just more comfy writing the narrative parts in english ( as a bobo magdescribe in filipino girlie ) so if you catch the characters using filo memes, conversing and cursing in filipino, you'd know why ! this fic will also feature a lot of other kpop idols from different groups, possibly not depicting characters in a very good and will contain rps so if you're not into that,,, pls hop off... also! pls refrain from associating any of the characters with their faceclaims... it's literally the reason i changed their names hehe yun lungs tnx !
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now playing
meet the characters (click here)
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chapters
i. i sit and watch you.
ii. i sit and listen.
iii. i notice everything you do or don't do.
iv. lay the table with the fancy shit.
v. when you were out building other worlds, where was i?
vi. use my best colors for your portrait.
vii. if it's all in my head, tell me now.
viii. always taking up too much space or time.
ix. i know my love should be celebrated.
x. i made you my temple, my mural, my sky.
xi. drawing hearts in the byline.
xii. where's that man who threw blankets over my barbed wire?
xiii. all is well if it ends well to end up with you.
xiv. the bsides
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