#idk what to do i really need help like BIG help like Taylor size help army size help idk i just

[oikadori]

Comforting Stressed S/O Part II

⇢  Pairings: oikawa x f!reader ; atsumu x f!reader

⇢  Genre:  fluff...idk

⇢  WC~ 1,5K 

A/N: So I made one for Akaashi but i kinda liked this situation asjfohhddlkdjk so I couldn’t  help to make it for Oikawa and Atsumu. How can someone be that obsessed with 2D characters? Thank you ♡, enjoy!

Oikawa is not fond of how immersed you are on your assignments 

If you’ve spent too much time on your computer he will start pouting and whining at you. He is just a  big size bb

He loves cuddles, so he needs his cuddle sessions with you. Oikawa will try to snuggle up with you while you’re working

If you don’t let him, after many pouts, he will get tired eventually and stops distracting you.

 If you let him, he’ll talk nonstopping about his day, trying to amuse you 

Oikawa loves to spoil you, he’ll get you all sorts of treats and gifts to cheer your mood 

He is pretty smart so he is always happy to help you 

He’ll be so smug about it  that he won’t stop teasing - he’ll brag about it the whole week 

“(Y/N)-channnn!” Oikawa wines from the living room while the TV  shows the intro of Star Wars “Come on, the movie is about to start” your gaze lift from your laptop to spot your boyfriend with the cutest smile he could possibly show to you, alongside his pleading brown eyes staring at you. 

“Tooru like I told you an hour ago, I have to finish a math assessment” you sigh, trying to show yourself annoyed by him- even when all you want to do is cuddle with him- “Maybe later”

“Yeah, I know, I know but you need a break too” Oikawa looks at you with concern, he moves on the couch, making space for you  “At least come here, sit with me” he pats the new spot next to him, inviting you. “Pleaseee” you roll your eyes, giving him a little smile. 

“You are very annoying, you know?”

When he sees you walking to the couch, his eyes glimpse in amusement, “Couldn’t resist me, could you? I can’t blame you” a cocky smile adorns his lips as ypu sit nect to him.

“Shut up” Oikawa can’t help to chuckle as he lays an arm over your shoulders and kisses your cheek. Your eyes focused on the screen, you keep working as the movie start.

//

“No, no, no!... You are fucking kidding me!” your voice raises over the sound of the Tv, your eyes staring blankly at your laptop. Oikawa quickly turns to you before noticing the tears that are forming on the corner of your eyes.

“(Y/N)...What happened?” he pauses the movie and observes you expectantly, your eyes watering as your lips begin to move slowly “(Y/N)?”

“My laptop froze and the document closed itself and ... I can’t find it.”

“All of the work I made during the week...it’s gone” the stress accumulated breaks through and tears run down your cheeks, you start sobbing uncontrollably.

“Princess..., please look at me” Oikawa turns off the Tv and places one of his hands over yours while the other cups your cheek “Please don’t cry. There’s got to be a backup copy... or something” Oikawa frowns as he moves his hand to his chin, thinking.

“Can I have a look?” you nod, handling him your laptop, he places it con his lap as his arm pulls you to his chest. “Don’t worry, babe, we’ll find a solution” his reassuring voice makes your sobs to slow, he kisses the top of your head, brushes your hair soothingly. 

//

“There it is!!!” you cry out in relief. After almost an hour, Oikawa finally found it.

“Here you go. I’m the best boyfriend, aren’t I?” he takes off his glasses,  smirking  proudly

“You mean, you are slightly tolerable...” 

“Yet you’re still with me, aren’t you?” you can’t help but giggle. 

 “God, I love the way you laugh.” his features softens as he reach your hand to kiss it tenderly. “So, is there any payment for the technical assistance given to this beautiful lady?” he raises his eyebrow looking at you teasingly. 

You kiss him slowly, wrapping your arms around his neck, making a soft grumble escape from Oikawa’s lips “My hero...thank you, Tooru” you whisper and press your lips on his cheek making Oikawa blush.  

“Now, what about we get a dessert from that  store you like so much, princess?” And just like that you knew that no amount of stress would change the future but a look at those chocolate eyes was all the reassurance you need.    

Atsumu genuinely doesn’t understand why you stress about school assignments

Like, he will tease you about it...until you tell him to STFU. Only then he notices how stressed you are

I think Atsumu has 0 experience in comforting people. But when it comes to you he tries his best 

Atsumu won’t be helpful as Akaashi or Oikawa - Sorry Tsumu but, I get the feeling he’s just like Hinata and Kageyama when it comes to school 

Probably will take you out, regardless of your complaints, making an improvised date. 

Any compliment coming for this guy will boost you like 1000% up, knowing how blunt he can be with others 

Like Oikawa, he’ll spoil you but not as often, but when he does, this boy gets a little carried away

He’ll show how much he cares for you, staying with you all the time like even if you aren’t in the same place he’ll start a call and won’t end it until he knows you’re going to sleep.

“Atsumu, could you please turn that off?” you ask your boyfriend, who is sitting next to you watching volleyball videos while you make some Physics exercises - yes, he has homework too but he doesn’t care. 

“I can’t, I’m sorry. It’s a very important match” you huff and move away from him trying to concentrate, but with that much noise, you find it difficult. 

He glances at you, watching your reactions, as the time passes he notices you haven’t advanced much “Homework, huh?” Atsumu asks a little insecure and you lift your head a bit surprised.

“Yeah, Physics...but I can’t solve them” you murmur. You rest your head in your hands, letting out a sigh and some curses. The whole week was full of assignments and you were exhausted. 

Atsumu slowly walks to you, shaking his head and smiling smugly. 

“Why such an intelligent and beautiful girl like you worry so much about a little thing like that?” he moves gently your hands away from your face and caresses your cheek with his thumb. “Come on let’s get out of here” he takes your hands and pulls you up from the chair, you blush looking at the wide smile con his face. 

“But I haven’t fin-” 

“It doesn’t matter. I promise we’ll get back soon, but let’s have some fun, shall we?” he leans down, kissing your lips softly. 

//

After strolling for a while in the mall, hands connected. You walk in front of a Music store that has the new album of your favorite singer.  Atsumu trails your figure curious to see what caught your attention. 

Your eyes are so focused in that special edition  Album that you don’t t notice Atsumu entering the store.

“Tsumu, what did you bought?” 

“Oh! I just got the new Album of my favourite singer” he shows you smugly the album. You giggle and place your hands in your hips. 

“Really?... I didn’t know you liked Taylor Swift, Tsumu” He laughs loudly with his eyes closed, motioning the little box to you. 

“This is expensive...why did you-?” 

“I only wanted to see my girlfriend loosen up a bit” you can’t hide how overjoyed you are by his gesture. You jump to kiss his cheek, throwing your arms around his neck. Atsumu places his hands on your waist, lifting you up and then placing you down again.

“Glad you like it babygirl” his fingers run up and down your back gently. You place your head in his chest as he wraps you with his tall figure. 

 “You are one of the smartest in the class, it isn’t right that you are stressing that much... I really don’t understand why do you do but...” his voice sounds a bit irritated, your eyes look at him with uncertainty , and you notice Atsumu frowning.

 “...you can count on me. Always. I’m sorry if I didn’t give you that impression” Stirred by his words you stare at him, eyes open widely, making Atsumu blush deeply a little embarrassed by his own word.

Your heartbeat rises at the thought of Atsumu Miya saving his sweet side only for you. 

At the sight of your house, you bring Atsumu’s  hand to your lips and kiss it lovingly, stealing a gasp from Atsumu lips. 

“Thank you, Tsumu” you hug him tightly and he kisses the top of your head.

“There, there, babygirl. I’m yours” he pats tenderly your head before walking through your front door.  

While you were speaking, smiling foolishly, Osamu looked at you dubiously. You proudly spoke about how the Miya Atsumu managed to comfort you last night, making you joyful by his presence,his gift and ultimately his sweet words.

The Oikawa scenario was based on a true story but without the happy ending...F in the chat for my math internal  assessment 

Honestly, I’ve never cried that much for a school work.

Hope you enjoyed it! Thanks everyone for reading!

If you want to drop suggestions or only chat I’ll be more than happy!! Byeee (・ε・)  ∴ Master List ∴

#oikawa tooru #haikyuu oikawa #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu!! #haikyuu fics #oikawa headcanons #oikawa x reader #oikawa x y/n #atsumu x reader #atsumu scenarios #oikawa imagine #oikawa scenarios #atsumu headcanons #hq oikawa #hq atsumu #hq headcanons #atsumu x y/n #atsumu imagines #oikawa fluff #atsumu fluff #stress #my writting #cutiekawa

[bisluthq]

The thing is, I despise celebrities speaking on politics unless it’s like how Taylor did with those tweets she made towards Trump (THAT was badass and actually felt productive towards having conversations).

Also, people I know in real life (even those who listen to these big artists) have never been educated, influenced, or inspired by any of these celebrities posting to their accounts. Stans seem to live in a different world if they believe those celebrities who signed that tacky petition is going to help in any way. It’s so stupid like ok Ms. Ariana Grande and Mr. Shawn Mendes, what do you want me to do with your signature other than have to deal with seeing your corny stans calling you a saint for it🙄

“Also, people I know in real life (even those who listen to these big artists) have never been educated, influenced, or inspired by any of these celebrities posting to their accounts.” -> this.

Let’s give credit where credit is due - Ari signed up a hell of a lot of voters at her concerts.

That’s amazing.

Taylor’s post in the midterms also led to record voter registrations:

That’s awesome.

I’m sorry but posturing and shit isn’t really.

Halsey and Phoebe signal boosting abortion rights was awesome but Taylor doing it won’t like… do much more because people have an opinion on abortion tbh and it won’t be impacted by Taylor Swift’s. People who are left leaning have access to those links and celebs who agree with them and who’ve shared info. We need to factor in size of platform idk and what the impact is gonna be and I don’t see what the positive impact would be in Taylor Swift or Beyonce signing a petition.

#nat talks social stuff

[hookingminor]

11 with Burky? Maybe being introduced by a teammate

11. “You didn’t tell me your friend was cute! Now what am I going to do?”

a/n: damn kinda proud of this one it kinda sounds like the start to a fic idk maybe I'll make it one who knows also not really a teammate but I loved this idea so I hope ur ok with wilso instead

UPDATE: made it into a fic first part is here (pls read this one first)

-

When Andre had gotten the call from Tom asking if he would be able to house a friend of his while they found an apartment in the city, Andre had agreed without a second thought. Any friend of Tom was a friend of his, and it would be nice to have some company for a couple weeks. He loved meeting new people.

Tom had told him a week ago that a friend of his girlfriend’s was moving to Denver for her new job and desperately needed a place to stay while she hunted for a place to live. Tom had offered Andre’s name to help before even asking him, so really he had no choice but to go through with it anyway.

What Andre didn’t expect was for his friend, you, to be a dropdead knockout. Sure, you’d exchanged a few text messages over the week to introduce yourself, but it never crossed your mind to send a picture; you figured Tom did that for you already. When you knocked on the door to his apartment, which was in a complex much nicer than anything you’d be able to afford, he opened it and gave you a confused look, as if he thought you were lost.

“Hi? Can I help you?” He asked, not quite sure why this beautiful woman was standing outside his door.

“Oh, it’s me, Y/N. I’m Tom’s friend,” you said, quickly shuffling your bags around so you could offer your hand out to shake.

“Oh! Yeah, sorry, I just wasn’t expecting you for a couple more hours,” he explained, opening the door wide so you could enter.

“Yeah, I decided to leave earlier than planned. Sorry, I should’ve texted you,” you apologized, rolling your suitcase into the spacious entryway.

You took a moment to take in the apartment, noticing the marble countertops in the kitchen and huge flatscreen that took up almost the entire living room wall. Andre waited until you were finished admiring the space before he cleared his throat.

“Uh, let me show you where your room is,” he said, walking you down the long hallway to the end. Andre opened the door before gesturing for you to enter before him. He followed in after, staying near the doorway while you unloaded your bags onto the queen sized guest bed.

“Do you need any help unpacking?” He asked after a minute.

“Oh, no thank you. This is more than enough. I just have a couple more bags in my car that I need to grab. I can get it myself, though,” you explained with a smile.

Andre nodded at you.

“Well, in that case, I’ll let you unpack. I’ll just go call Tom to let him know you’re here,” Andre said with a small cough, excusing himself from the room.

He crossed the apartment to his room as he listened to you shuffle around in your room. He waited a few minutes before he heard you call out that you were going to retrieve the rest of your things before he pulled out his phone and dialed Tom’s number. It rang for a few seconds before he heard the familiar gruff ‘hello’ on the other line.

“What’s up, Burky?” Tom asked.

“Y/N just got here,” he said.

“Oh, really? Everything okay then? She told me she left for Denver this morning,” Tom said calmly, as if he hadn’t kept a big secret from his friend.

“No, everything is not okay!” Andre whisper-shouted, “You didn’t tell me your friend was cute! Now what am I going to do?”

He heard Tom laugh at him.

“What you’re going to do is nothing. She’s a nice girl Burky, keep it in your pants,” Tom said, already knowing where Andre’s thoughts were heading.

“Hey! I’m a nice guy! What’s wrong with me?” Andre asked, offended at the insinuation that he wasn’t good enough for his friend.

“What isn’t wrong with you? All I’m saying is she’s got a good head on her shoulders and doesn’t need you screwing with it. Besides, Taylor will kill you if you try anything,” Tom replied.

“I’m hurt you think that lowly of me,” Andre said with a scoff, hearing the door open again. Tom went to reply, but Andre cut him off.

“She’s back, I gotta go,” he rushed, keeping his voice quiet in case you could hear him.

“I’m serious, Burky. Hands off,” Tom said a split second before Andre ended the call.

Andre threw his phone onto his bed, taking a minute to compose himself. When he calmed down, he walked back out to the living room where he saw you resting a small box on the table.

“Hey, I was thinking I should take you out to dinner tonight. You know, to thank you for letting me stay here and all,” you said with a smile when you saw him enter the room.

“Yeah, we can do that,” Andre replied, smiling at the way you were already making yourself at home.

“Great! I’m just going to take a shower real quick, so how about we leave in an hour?” You asked as you set down a folded blanket on the edge of his couch. Andre nodded his head in response, watching you skip off to your new room.

The only thoughts that filled Andre’s head when he heard the water turn on was that he most definitely would not be able to keep his hands off. And Taylor was going to kick his ass.

-

prompt list requests are still open!

#andre burakovsky #nhl imagine #hockey imagine #my writing #blurbs #requests #avs95

[jalapeno-princess]

Back to you

Mark Tuan X Reader

Word Count: 11.3K

Genre: Angst with a happy ending (idk if I can even consider it happy exactly but they both get what they want in the end)

Summary: It’s been over two years since Mark decided to end your relationship together and you’ve been bitter about everything since the day he left. The last thing you expected was to see him on your front porch claiming he made a mistake in breaking up with you and no matter how much he broke your heart, there was no way you could forget just how happy you were because of him and how much you still loved him.

Author’s Note: I know I say this about most of my stories, but I really don’t know how I feel about this one. After hearing the song “Cardigan” by Taylor Swift, I really wanted to write a story based off of it because songs tend to stick in my mind until I finish writing a story so this might seemed a little bit rushed, repetitive and some of it might not even make sense I apologize in advance and I think I’m going to take a few days off from writing just because school and work is getting more and more busy (and to those who requested stories just know I still plan on finishing your requests thank you for your patience) with that, please enjoy.

Vintage tee, brand new phone High heels on cobblestones When you are young, they assume you know nothing Sequin smile, black lipstick Sensual politics When you are young, they assume you know nothing But I knew you Dancing in your Levi's Drunk under a streetlight, I I knew you Hand under my sweatshirt Baby kiss it better, right And when I felt like I was an old cardigan under someone's bed You put me on and said I was your favorite A friend to all is a friend to none Chase two girls, lose the one When you are young, they assume you know nothing

“Babe.” 

You could feel yourself drifting in and out of sleep and it was because you were exhausted from both work and school. Being a full time college student majoring in Biology and minoring in English while having a full-time job wasn’t the most ideal situation, but you were handling it pretty well. 

When your boyfriend picked you up right after work and took you back to his apartment, all you wanted to do was change in to one of his shirts that was two sizes too big for you and go to sleep with his arms wrapped tightly around your waist. However, Mark had different plans in mind. Your boyfriend was aware that you were extremely tired and he hated how you were overworking yourself, but he knew not to say anything in fear of getting in to an argument with you. 

Being friends for over ten years and dating for three was enough time for the older boy to learn every single thing about you. You were always so independent and it was something Mark both loved and hated about you. He hated seeing you cry over how frustrating college was, he hated listening to you degrade yourself and talk negatively about your accomplishments and what he hated most of all, was not getting to spend time with you. 

If you weren’t at work, you were at school and vice versa and it wasn’t like Mark had much time on his hands either. He was four months away from graduating with his bachelor’s degree in engineering and he decided not too long ago that he would go after his master’s degree right after. Spending time with you was Mark’s favorite pastime and it didn’t matter to him what the two of you were doing; as long as you were around, he was content. 

You released an exhausted sigh when he insisted on watching a movie on Netflix, but you didn’t have the heart to tell him no. Even though you were on the verge of falling asleep, you were willing to do anything to make him happy. However, the two of you weren’t even halfway through the movie when Mark noticed your head bobbing up and down and the sight made him giggle softly. 

God, he was so in love with you. 

When you heard him call out for you, you practically jolted awake from being startled and gave yourself a couple of moments to process your surroundings and what was going on. He brought his hand up to your face and cupped your cheek ever so gently while running his fingers through your hair. 

“Did you want to go to sleep? We can continue this tomorrow. I’ll carry you to the room.” You gave him an adorable, sleepy smile before shaking your head. “I’m awake, I’m fine. Let’s keep watching whatever movie this is—“ you were too tired to see him playfully roll his eyes at you and before you knew it, he turned off the tv and picked you up bridal style. 

“It’s fine babe, I’m actually about to knock out myself. Plus, it’s been a couple of days since I got to go to bed next to your pretty face. I’ve missed my baby.” Out of habit, you wrapped your hands around his neck and hid your face in the crook of his nape. The scent of fresh linen and citrus made your chest feel warm. 

It was rare for Mark to do his laundry because he had no clue what he was doing. A lot of his clothes either shrunk or changed color. He didn’t know he wasn’t supposed to mix his white clothes with colors; which is why a lot of his favorite white hoodies were now bright pink. As much as he didn’t want to bother you nor did he want you having to do things that you didn’t have to, you would always do his laundry without him having to ask. You just loved doing anything to help him out because he never failed to do the same for you. 

Since these last few weeks have been pretty hectic for the both of you, you didn’t really have time to see Mark nor did you get to go over to his place. Asking you to move in with him was always at the tip of his tongue, but because he was planning on going away for his undergrad, he didn’t want you to move in only for him to leave. Once he brought you in to his room, he placed you on to his bed while he took off his shirt and got ready to join you. 

Even if you were in and out of sleep, and you’ve seen Mark shirtless on many occasions it didn’t stop you from blushing at the sight. He didn’t take too long to join you and pulled you close in to his body; he placed his chin on your head and cheekily brought his hand up in to his sweatshirt you were wearing, drawing random figures on your bare back. The cold touch of his fingers along your shoulder blades sent shivers down your spine and you smiled tiredly to yourself at his ministrations. This was when you were at your most serene; in your boyfriend’s arms, right about to enter dreamland. 

No matter how frustrating life could get sometimes, the beautiful boy whose embrace you were in right now made everything so much better. He made all the negativity disappear. What were you going to do without him once he were to transfer colleges and be thousands of miles away from you? Mark was all you’ve known for so many years; even through all your failed and toxic relationships before the two of you became a couple, he was always there and never failed to make any unfortunate situation better. 

“Y/n? Where do you see yourself in ten years?” The sudden question broke you out of your sleep induced haze and you slowly pulled out of his embrace in order to get a better look at him. You shrugged indifferently and took a few seconds to actually think about it. There was never a time in your life where Mark wasn’t around, so you knew you wanted him in your life for as long as you could have him for; that was a given. But you hardly ever had time to think about the future and what you had hoped your life would be like. 

“Hmm, if I’m being honest with you, I’m actually not too sure. I’m hoping I have a decent job that I actually like. I mean, I’m spending thousands of dollars just to learn a bunch of shit I won’t remember later on, so I’d like to think I can get a job that pays enough for me to make a living off of. I also want kids, I really want children. I’ve always dreamed about having a big family. That’s all I really care about. I want five kids at the most, but I want to be able to completely afford them and be able to take care of them so we’ll just have to wait and see. What about you? And why the sudden question about the future Mark?” He lifted up your chin and placed a chaste kiss upon your lips. 

“Do you see me in that future of yours?” You scoffed at the fact that he completely ignored your questions, and because he was inquiring on whether or not you wanted him to stay if your life; if he was the man you planned on settling down and spending the rest of your life with. You could’ve sworn you told him countless times that he was all you needed for the rest of your days and maybe he was just messing around with you. 

“Of course I do. Even when we were kids, I knew I always wanted you around Mark. We’ve known each other for almost fourteen years, there’s no way you can get rid of me now babe. I don’t care what my future looks like, all I know is that I want you in it.” He gave you his signature cheeky grin before pulling you up against his chest. 

“Good, because that’s all I want too. I want you for the rest of my life, in each and every life time.”

Winter was extremely cold this year; in fact, the local weatherman claimed that it was one of the coldest winters your town experienced in the last twenty years. Although winter was your favorite season from the time you were a little girl, the last couple of years haven’t been the best for you and you no longer felt the need to celebrate any holiday; you no longer felt the holiday spirit. 

You hated that you no longer felt like decorating your place with Halloween, thanksgiving and Christmas decorations, you hated not going over to your parent’s house to celebrate and you were upset with the fact that you’d find yourself turning off any kind of Christmas song as soon as it would play on the radio. As the days got colder, so did your heart. 

Two years ago, you had made so many plans for the winter break. You wanted to go ice skating with your friends, Christmas caroling with your family, snow boarding with Mark and his family and setting up a Christmas tree for the first time in your apartment. Your enthusiasm for anything and everything and just your life in general all changed once Mark went away. 

Right after Mark graduated with his bachelor’s degree, he took no time in applying to all the best engineering schools all throughout the world. You were extremely supportive of anything and everything that Mark wanted to do and accomplish, which is why you tried your best to hide the fact that you were bothered with the idea of him no longer being with you. It would be selfish of you to try and stop him, but deep down you were afraid of what was going to happen to your relationship and you had every right to be.

If you knew then what you know now, you would’ve ended things with him completely before letting him play with both your heart and your mind from miles away. When he found out he got accepted to the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, you put on the fakest smile possible and threw him a congratulations party surrounded by both your families and a few of your mutual friends. 

Not only was he going to college almost 4,000 miles away, but you didn’t know when the next time you were going to see him was. Mark made sure to spend every single moment up until the day he had to fly out with you and he promised you each and every day that the two of you were going to be okay. That your love was enough to withstand any amount of distance and time difference. For the first few months, it worked out perfectly. Although it would be morning where he was and night time where you were, you both made it work. 

If you couldn’t face time or call one another, you made sure to send text messages to each other and made sure to update each other with how life was going. It was extremely rough; seeing him through phone and computer screens wasn’t the same as having him with you but you took what you could get. Unfortunately, only three months of being away, Mark decided that a long distance relationship was too much for him to handle. 

He texted you one night and told you he couldn’t do it anymore. At first, you thought he was messing around; even if you knew deep down Mark would never joke around about something as serious as a breakup, but you didn’t want to believe he no longer wanted to be in a relationship with you. No matter how hard it was not having him around, you could handle it. 

What was a couple of years away from him, especially because you knew he’d come home to visit during the holidays, knowing that you were planning on spending the rest of your life with him? Something had to be up; there was no way he could give up on your relationship that easily. You begged and pleaded with him to genuinely think about what he was asking for; you called many times to the point where you felt as if he would block you. You tried reaching out to him on social media and you cried for the entire night. Hell, that entire week for you was filled with multiple bottles of red wine and hundreds of tissues on your kitchen floor. 

Right after sending that message and giving you one word responses, he stopped contacting you altogether. You’ve had your heart broken a couple of times; but nothing compared to the pain you felt when you came to the realization that Mark was no longer going to be in your life. Not only were you in the middle of losing your boyfriend, you were also losing your best friend and even if things were to settle down and you were to move on; if that were even possible, there was no way you could ever be friends with him again. Not when he practically ripped your heart out right out of your chest and stepped on it like it was nothing; like you were nothing. 

You screamed, cried and even broke a couple of things that he either owned or gave to you. You even had to quit your job and take a year off of school because you weren’t in the right mind to do anything. Losing Mark was a pain you didn’t think you would ever experience because of how well things were going between the two of you. Where did it all go wrong? Everything seemed to be fine just a few days prior to his heartbreaking messages. 

When did he decide that he no longer wanted to commit to you and your relationship? You stayed away from everyone you knew; your family, your friends, some classmates you’d talk to every now and then and even some of your coworkers. Not only were you unable to get out of bed every morning, but you could no longer think or feel nor did you have the energy to eat anything. To some outsiders, you’d be considered pathetic. Why would you let something so silly like a break up wreck your entire life? You had so much going for you; why would you allow a boy to do that to you? 

But then again, Mark wasn’t just any ordinary boy. He was the love of your life, your safe haven, your best friend. He’s all you’ve ever known and wanted to know for the rest of your life. A month after the breakup, you finally allowed yourself to get out of bed and out of your apartment. It was difficult, but you knew that moping around wouldn’t do you any good. You even began to let your friends in family back in to your life. Since you didn’t want anyone pitying you or worrying about your mental and physical health, you decided to keep the breakup to yourself. 

If anybody found out; which you were sure some of your mutual friends would, then you’d let them know that it was okay even if you were on the verge of a mental breakdown almost every single day. When your friends BamBam and Yugyeom came over to spend time with you, Yugyeom made the mistake in blurting our that Mark was seeing someone. If you thought the breakup was already bad enough, hearing that Mark was in a relationship not too long after your breakup felt like a stab to both your back and your heart. It made you wonder, was he cheating on you? 

Did he realize that there were other women out there that he could actually be around? Was he that lonely that he needed love from anyone he could get possible? Did he really give up thirteen years of a friendship and relationship for someone he probably just met? It made you question so many different things and brought up so many insecurities. Did he fall out of love with you and if so, when? Was everything he told you months before he left a lie? 

Did you really mean that little to him that he didn’t care what would happen to the two of you? You hated him. Never in your life did you would be without Mark. Even before the two of you started dating, you’d always plan out your futures together and he’s told you on multiple occasions that he wanted your houses right next door to each other’s so he could see you every day. You wanted to fly up to Massachusetts and punch him in the face, but what good would that do? 

It wouldn’t bring him back to you; wouldn’t change his mind about his decision. If he really loved you, you would’ve been the only girl he’d see himself with and the thought of dating someone else would kill him. If he wanted a break to focus on school, then you’d give it to him. But now, knowing that he was in a relationship with someone else, you wanted nothing more than to remove him completely from your life and you did—or at least tried to. 

For the next two years, you were in and out of relationships and at one point, you gave up on any sort of relationship whether it was sexual or platonic completely. Nobody could ever compare to Mark and the way he loved you. Nor would you be able to love anyone or care for anyone the way you did with Mark. He had a hold on your heart; his name, his memories, his touch, his kisses, his handsome face and kind-hearted personality would be forever tattooed on your soul and you didn’t think they would ever be removed anytime soon. 

It was almost 2 in the morning and you were sitting on your couch watching reruns of Friends. For some odd reason, you couldn’t find it in yourself to fall asleep. Normally, you’d be exhausted from both work and school, especially because you were taking up extra classes to make up for the semester you took off. However, you’ve been trying for hours to get your well deserved rest and just accepted the fact that sleep would find you when your entire body was ready to do so. 

As much as you loved the show, it no longer made you laugh like it used to and it was probably because it was both your’s and Mark’s favorite show to watch together. In fact, you went through all ten seasons in less than a month to the point where you memorize many of the lines. This episode in particular was one of your favorites. Not only was it extremely funny, but Mark even re-enacted the scene where Joey goes and puts on multiple layers of Chandler’s outfits. 

It’s been a while since you thought of Mark and thankfully your friends knew not to bring him up, but as the episode went on you couldn’t help but wonder how he was doing. Luckily on most days, you were too caught up in both your studies and your work to even think about him but now that you had free time, your curiosity was getting the best of you. How was he doing? Did he already graduate from college? Was he still dating that girl? Did he have plans on staying in Massachusetts? 

You released a frustrated grunt and changed the episode; you couldn’t handle the over thinking and you were sure you’d end up not getting any sleep at all if you continued wondering about your ex-boyfriend. One more episode later and you found yourself finally falling asleep. Before you could completely drift off though, there was a soft knock on your front door that caught your attention. 

At first you just assumed your mind was playing tricks on you and that you were hallucinating, but the knocking continued for a few moments and although you hated being rude, whoever was outside must have known what time it was so they should already know there was a huge chance you were sleeping. When the doorbell rang, you released an exasperated sigh and took a couple of moments to get in touch with reality before getting up and making your way to see who was so desperate for your attention at such an ungodly hour. 

You had a feeling it was either BamBam or Jackson on one of their drunken stupors; this wouldn’t be the first time they showed up on your porch drunk off their asses. You never understood why they’d come over to your house out of all places at at one point you felt that they were secretly giving your address to their Uber drivers because they could trust you to take care of them. Since you were so out of it, you didn’t take the time to look in the peephole and as soon as you opened your door to see who it was, you really wish you did. 

It’s been over two years since you last saw or heard from him and you’ve tried your best to completely push the thought of him and your many years together to the back of your mind. If you were exhausted before opening the door, you were wide awake now and without even thinking, you attempted to slam the door out of reaction to seeing him again. However, Mark had faster reflexes and pushed the door before you could close it entirely. 

Everything was happening so fast and your mind was still trying to process his presence. What was he doing there? When did he get back home? Why was he at your place so early in the morning? How did he know where you lived? You weren’t sure what kind of expression you had on your face, but you knew you probably didn’t look too pleased to see him. 

But it was only natural and what did he expect after what he did to you? For you to welcome him with open arms as if the last two years didn’t exist? Did he really forget the kind of person you were? During your relationship, he knew you weren’t a force to be reckoned with whether or not he was your boyfriend so now that he was standing outside on your porch for God knows what reason, he had to know that you no longer wanted anything to do with him. 

“Y/n—“

“Don’t start with me. What the hell are you doing here Mark?”

Seeing him after two years was pulling both your heart and mind in to multiple directions. You were so confused. Your mind wanted him gone, away from you and your house but your heart wanted nothing more than to invite him inside and see what he was there for. It was if Mark aged backwards; if anything, he looked even younger and more handsome than the last night you saw him and you despised the fact that he was having such a strong effect on your heart. You might have thought you hated him before, but that was because he wasn’t around for you to really feel anything towards him. 

Seeing him after two years of being away from him was slowly driving you insane. Why did he have to come back after practically ruining your entire life? It was like he was really out to wreck your entire being. Like he got off of being the reason behind your destruction. When he brought his hand up to the back of his neck and scratched it out of habit, you let out a laugh of disbelief. You’ve known him for more than half of your life; you knew what each and every one of his ministrations meant. 

He was either nervous, worried or both. You caught on to this habit the first time he took you out on a date. Even if he’s known you and your family for so long, he was so afraid to ask your dad for permission to date his little girl. He scratched the back of his neck every time your dad brought up having you home by 10 that night and to not even think about taking things further than a peck on the cheek. At the time it was the cutest thing ever but thinking about the memory now made your stomach sore. 

“I uh—I’m sorry for bothering you and I know you’re probably going to freak out when I tell you  this—but I—I made a huge mistake in breaking up with you and I’m so fucking sorry y/n.” It was if time froze in that moment. You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. He regrets the breakup and he’s sorry? It’s been over two years, why all of a sudden did he think it was okay for him to come back after all the heartbreak he put you through? What did he expect was going to happen? 

Did he think you’d welcome him back with open arms and start off from where the two of you ended things? Life didn’t work out that way. He couldn’t have you when it was beneficial for him and what was really upsetting you, was knowing that there was a chance you’d allow him to fix things. Mark never did any wrong in your eyes even if he practically ruined your entire being. When he first ended your relationship, you wanted to believe he had a good reason as to why he did so. You just couldn’t believe his shit excuse of a reason and after hearing that he got in to another relationship, it just answered your many questions. 

If this was under different circumstances, you’d slap him right across of his face for even thinking he had a right to be at your house right now giving you poor apology. The laugh that fell from your lips both confused and worried Mark. It was obvious that your breakup had a huge toll on you. You lost over twenty pounds, you no longer put effort in to your appearance and you just looked more fragile and broken and Mark never hated himself more than he did in that moment knowing this was all his fault. He didn’t mean for things to go this far; couples broke up all the time but it just showed him how much he must’ve meant to you. 

“That’s a joke right? You’re fucking with me right now—look Mark I don’t have time for this bullshit right now I have work in the morning. I’m tired and I made a pact with myself to never get involved with you ever again. You can take your apology and shove it up your ass.” 

You weren’t a stranger to seeing Mark cry; he cried the night before he left at the thought of not getting to see you anymore. He cried every now and then when school got too much for him to handle, he cried during Christopher Robin when Pooh couldn’t find his friends, he cried when his grandmother passed away and although the two of you hardly ever fought, there were some arguments that caused him to tear up. 

But you weren’t expecting to see him get all worked up over your breakup especially because he was the one to initiate it and because it’s been so long. Unfortunately, you could feel your heart growing heavy at his defeated posture and as much as you wanted to keep up your angry facade, it just didn’t feel right to be so harsh towards him. Even after all the negativity he put you through mentally and physically. 

“Mark—“

“I know. I shouldn’t be here. I know it’s probably too late and I’m completely aware that you hate me. I can’t blame you, I’d hate me too. There aren’t any excuses for what I did to you and for everything you had to suffer through because of me and I don’t know what made me come here tonight I just—fuck. I’ve missed you so much y/n. I know that’s going to be hard to believe, especially because we’ve been broken up for over two years now but I need you to understand that these last two years without you, on top of the four months we were still together while I was away were the worst years of my life. There aren’t enough words to describe how sorry I am and how much I hate myself for giving up on us so easily. I thought about you every single day. I wondered how you were doing, if our breakup affected you in any way, if you missed me the way I couldn’t stop missing you, if you moved on, if you finally graduated. I know it was my fault that I no longer knew anything and the guys—they refused to update me on anything. Hell, they stopped contacting me and I only ever heard from them if I started the conversation first.” 

You released a snicker before crossing your arms in frustration. One thing that was so convenient about your relationship with Mark was that you had the same circle of friends. It was easier that way. Although Mark knew of them first and he was the reason why you became friends with them, they always seemed to show favoritism towards you. You were like a younger sister to them and you saw them practically every single day. 

In fact, they were the reasons why you didn’t end up losing yourself completely after Mark ended things with you. Jackson and BamBam made sure that you were eating and drinking enough liquids to keep your body from becoming malnourished. Jinyoung tried his best to help you with your studies so that you wouldn’t fail and Jaebeom even stayed with you at your apartment to keep you company. Honestly, you don’t know what you did to deserve any of them, but you were extremely grateful for all that they’ve done for you. It wasn’t surprising to hear that they were so hostile towards him. 

The minute Jinyoung saw his post about his new girlfriend, he wanted to get on the next plane to Massachusetts and knock some sense in to him. He, along with the rest of your friends saw how much damage the breakup caused you and they hated that he did such an unexpected thing to you. 

“Do they know you’re back? How long have you been back for? Is that why you came to see me? Are you here to stay permanently? Is that why you came here to try and apologize? Did you think I was going to forget about everything I had to go through when you broke up with me? You were a fucking coward Mark. You couldn’t even break up with me over the phone, you texted me such a pathetic excuse—what? Did you think that I would take you back so quickly because of our past together? Because we’ve known each other for so long and been through so much together? Did you think I wouldn’t hear about your relationship? From what I heard, you seemed to really like her. So what happened? Did the thrill expire? You got to experience other women and came to the conclusion that it wasn’t what you wanted? Do you know just how much shit you put me through once you decided you no longer wanted to be with me? I blamed myself for our breakup. You made me feel like I wasn’t good enough for you. That I wasn’t worth waiting for. Are you not man enough to handle a long distance relationship? Couldn’t handle not having your dick wet for more than a few months? I’m not who I used to be Mark. You ruined me. You broke me. I don’t know what you expected after coming here tonight, but I have no intention on taking you back.” 

The longer you watched him react to your words, you could feel a stab to your chest at each quiver of his lip and furrow of his brow. You hated that you could see the twelve year old boy you developed a crush on all those years ago in his eyes. You hated that you felt sorry for him. He probably went through a lot to find out where you lived and you were mentally cursing whoever gave him your address. But if he went through all that trouble especially if he knew he’d probably get shit from your friends for trying to look for you, you had to give him credit for that. 

“I—I shouldn’t have come. I’m sorry y/n. I’ll leave. I just—She was a mistake—and our relationship didn’t last long. I know—you probably don’t want to hear it. She just helped fill the void of your absence and I didn’t even like her. She just took my mind off of the distance. She gave me the attention you never failed to give me. I meant for it to be just a friendship and I didn’t break up with you to be with her. I couldn’t handle being away from you and if I could go back in the past, I would’ve stayed and went to college here. I would’ve done anything to keep our relationship what it was. You were—you are the best thing that ever happened to me y/n. Hell, I’d prevent the breakup from happening if I could. I don’t expect anything from you, I really don’t. But I’m still so in love with you and I probably always will be. You’re my soulmate y/n. It took this breakup for me to realize that there’s nobody else for me in this entire world. It’s you. You’re it for me and I’m so mad at myself for not realizing how lucky I was to have you until I fucked it all up and lost you. Even if you decide that there’s no chance for me to come back in to your life. Goodnight y/n. Take care.” 

You don’t know what came over you, but seeing him walk away hurt more than the actual breakup itself. You remembered having to go in to therapy because of how the breakup messed with your head. The thought of having to seek therapy because of something you considered to be so stupid made you feel pathetic. Your therapist was a very kind and soft-spoken older woman. She did her best to help you with moving on and had you do all kinds of things to take your mind off of Mark and what could’ve been. 

However, the only thing you could’ve done without was how she would indirectly tell you that you were too young to know what love was. To know what heartbreak was. She insinuated that you were too young to really know what a real heartbreak felt like and that you were a fool for letting someone like Mark ruin you but she didn’t know anything other than what you told her. 

She didn’t know how Mark was your best friend before he was your boyfriend. She didn’t know how he made you feel as if you were the most beautiful and most important person in the entire world. She didn’t know that you spent almost your entire life with him by your side. She didn’t know what your relationship was like and how you were willing to give up anything and everything in your possession if it meant getting to spend the rest of your life with him. Who was she to say you were too young to know what love actually was? How old did you have to be to know what love was? 

You fell in love with Mark before you learned algebra. You fell in love with him before you knew what love even was, but he made it known that he reciprocated those same feelings for you. The two of you were only fourteen when you realized that your feelings for Mark were more than what one should feel for their best friend, but you weren’t all that young to realize the effect Mark had on your heart. The sudden memory of your therapy sessions made you want to let him continue walking away; you meant it when you said you no longer wanted anything to do with him and that he was in your past and you had every intention in keeping him there. But you’d be lying to yourself if you said you didn’t still love him. 

No matter how much you wanted to hate him and how long it’s been since he’s been gone, you could never forget your first love. Nor could you let that many years of a friendship go down the drain even if he did it so easily. You’ve always felt like you loved Mark more than he loved you, but that was only because you’d say it more than he did. Mark was never a man of words, he was a man of actions and he never failed to show you he loved you with his actions. He didn’t have to come here tonight; he could’ve left things just the way they were. He didn’t have to say it, you knew he still loved you, which is why you weren’t surprised when you called out his name right before he could completely be out of sight. 

“It’s late. I don’t want you driving right now. It’s dangerous. You can—sleep on the couch.” The small smirk that rose on his face didn’t go unnoticed by you, even if he tried to cover it up as soon as he did it and it made your heart leap at the sight. You were a fool for the beautiful man in front of you and although it would take a while for you to forgive him, you were willing to see where things were going to go between you both. If he were to come back months ago, you probably would’ve gave in to him the minute you opened the door but because you were stronger now, you were going to let your mind make the decisions for you. 

“It’s fine y/n. Thank you for the offer, but I don’t think it’s a good idea—“

“Neither do I, but there’s a tiny voice inside my head telling me to ask you to stay. I won’t force you to, and don’t think that this means anything. But the offers there on the table if you want it.” 

You walked back in to your house and didn’t even see whether or not he was following behind you; but once you heard footsteps on your wooden floor as the door closed, you released a sigh of relief. 

“Nice place—when did you buy it?” You shrugged indifferently as you prepared the couch for him to sleep on. 

“Five months ago. Jaebeom actually lived with me for a while but I accidentally kissed him one night when I was drunk off of my ass and we decided that it was best for our friendship that he lived somewhere else.” 

Although you weren’t looking at him, you were sure he probably wasn’t too happy to hear about you and Jaebeom. Mark was an extremely jealous, overprotective and possessive boyfriend. During your relationship, he was very vocal about how he didn’t like that Jackson would be so touchy towards you and how he didn’t like the way BamBam would try and hold your hand even if it was all in good fun. He also made it known that he was jealous of your friendship with Jaebeom because he felt as if the younger boy harbored feelings for you. 

Mark might have been your boyfriend, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t develop feelings for anyone else and he was afraid of losing you to his friend. When you turned around to see his reaction, you smiled softly to yourself once you saw his clenched fists and tightened jaw. You wanted him to feel what you felt the minute you found out he was seeing someone knew. You loved how jealous Mark could get; it proved how much he loved you and how afraid he was to lose you. 

“How did you even find out where I live? I’m sure none of the guys told you. They know not to even if I didn’t say anything. I didn’t think you’d come back home and even if you did, I didn’t think you’d want anything to do with me anyway.” He took a seat on your couch and you couldn’t help but imagine what life would’ve been like if the two of you stuck together. You never voiced your thoughts to him about living together, but there were times when you’d stay over at his apartment and your heart would crave getting to go to sleep next to him instead of having to go back to your apartment each morning you stayed the night before. 

You couldn’t get over how much he fit in with everything and you soon grew curious about what living with him would be like but it was too late for you to crave for or even think about things like that. You didn’t want to make the situation more awkward than it already was, so you took a seat at your makeshift bar in the kitchen to give yourself a good amount of distance away from him. 

“Your mom gave it to me. I was hesitant on even trying to get in touch with her, but I needed to find you. I needed to talk to you. I came here as soon as I landed. I didn’t even think about the consequences or the fact that you didn’t want to see me. I needed to see you again. Your mom talked to me as if nothing was wrong and she told me to tell you that we should gather with our families and have dinner together. Did you not tell her about us?” You shook your head and refused to look at him in case he were to give you an expression you weren’t ready for. 

“I don’t know why, but I had a gut feeling that you were going to come back to me one day; or at least I hoped and I prayed that you would. I didn’t want to ruin her opinion of you. My mom thinks the world of you Mark. If she were to find out what you put me through, she would’ve cut off all ties with you and made sure I’d never talk to you again. You know she is. You saw how she was with all my exes and a few of my friends. I was afraid of her doing the same with you and I don’t know why. You deserve it, but I don’t know I guess my heart just wanted to believe that one day you’d come to your senses and realize that you still loved me. It fucking sucked every single time she brought you up in a conversation and talked about us getting married not knowing that we were no longer a couple. Sometimes I forgot that I kept lying to her and it almost slipped that I haven’t talked to you in years. I’m surprised your mom didn’t tell her, they go out for lunch one a week.”

“I didn’t tell my mom either. I didn’t think it was anyone else’s business but our own. I knew shit would go down if she knew, and I didn’t want her pestering you while I wasn’t there to stop her. Wait, so—you um—do you still—can you see us getting back together again? I have no right in asking you such a stupid question but you must still want me if you have yet to tell your mom.” 

Honestly, you didn’t know how to respond. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t miss him and that you didn’t want to rekindle your relationship. But that was before he showed up tonight asking you for forgiveness. And you knew you’d never be able to forget what he did even if you did forgive him. Looking at him, you knew you still loved him but you weren’t too sure if you wanted to give him another chance. You’ve worked so hard to get to where you were mentally. Were you really going to let months of therapy, drinking multiple bottles of red wine and finding yourself in bars and clubs trying to get over him go to waste? 

Instead of responding, you made your way to your room to get him some clothes and to give yourself a minute to process the entire situation. You still couldn’t believe that he was there in your house sitting on your couch nor could you even fathom the fact that you were allowing him to stay. What had gotten in to you? If any of your friends were to find out what you were doing, they would be extremely disappointed. 

There was a time that the guys would fight over who would be the best man at your wedding and everyone knew that the two of you were practically made for one another. However, as soon as Mark made the decision to end your relationship, all of your friends looked at him in a different light. If he handle the break up the right way and explained himself, then maybe they would be a little more understanding. He made things even worse when he jumped into another relationship making it seem as if the breakup didn’t phase him at all. 

When you reentered the living room and handed him the sweats and a baggy t-shirt, he quietly thanked you before immediately taking off his shirt. You turned around to prevent yourself from looking at him; during your relationship you would always find yourself staring at your boyfriend in disbelief. For someone with such a skinny frame, he had a nice physique and over the years, he became even more built and if you could see how defined his biceps were with a shirt on, you wouldn’t be able to control yourself when he took it off. 

Although you were mad at him and just this entire situation, you were only human and Mark was always the most attractive man in your eyes. His soft chuckle did wonders on your heart and once you turned around, you wanted to slap the cocky smirk that was now on his face. 

“What’s so funny?” He shrugged. 

“I don’t know why you’re so shy, it’s nothing you haven’t seen before.” You playfully rolled your eyes at his comment although, if you had the choice you would definitely continue looking. 

“Whatever. Goodnight Mark. My room is right down the hall if you need me. But, try not to.” You began returning to your room until you heard him whisper something you were sure you wouldn’t have heard if you took a few more steps. 

“Please don’t give up on us.” You decided not to make it known that you heard him and that his words were making a mess of your mind the longer they repeated in your head. He was right; it was a bad idea to ask him to stay over. 

He hasn’t even been in your house for half an hour and you were already on the verge of crying. This was all too much for you to take in and you were afraid of what was going to happen in the morning. Your heart was racing a mile a minute and your mind was filled with thoughts of Mark and everything the two of you have been through. Thankfully, it didn’t take too long for sleep to take over and soon you were off in dreamland.

“Mark—get over here! Ugh, it was the guys’ idea to come out tonight and they’re the ones who got you piss drunk so why am I having to suffer trying to take care of you?” 

Today was the last day of finals and to celebrate, Jackson suggested the eight of you go out drinking. You should’ve tried harder to coerce Mark in to staying home, but the older boy needed this well deserved break just like the rest of his friends did. Since he took his last final today, you knew he wanted to relax and let loose and who better to celebrate with than your girlfriend and your six best friends? Anyone who knew your boyfriend was completely aware of how much of a lightweight he was. 

Drink after drink, your friends; Jackson and BamBam in particular kept sending beers and shots of vodka Mark’s way and before any of you could think about the negative outcome of Mark taking down soju bombs, his high pitch laughter echoed throughout the bar and you felt embarrassed when you saw practically everyone’s eyes turn towards your table. Mark would not stop laughing to the top of his lungs. This always happened whenever the older boy had a little too much to drink. Normally he was good with his alcohol intake but tonight was a whole other story. 

He didn’t want to seem like a weakling in front of the guys and that’s why you hated going out with your friends whenever alcohol was involved. Jackson and BamBam were infamous for talking the rest of the guys in to drinking till they threw up and because Mark never backed down from a challenge, it normally got him in to a lot of trouble. You decided that it was time for the two of you to go home and when you asked the guys for help, they immediately brought Mark outside and said their goodbyes, but none of them offered to take him home. 

However, they were all pretty drunk off of their asses and you were sure they only invited you out because they knew Mark would get home safely with you around. One of the only things you could do without when it came to Mark was how clumsy and touchy he could get when he was plastered. You called for a taxi and tried your best to hold him up but he kept tripping on nothing and he even ended up falling to the ground and pulling you with him. 

“Mark! What the hell?!”

“Shit I’m sorry baby—why are we on the floor y/n it’s dirty—“ Once all the guys were to get over their hangovers, you knew they wouldn’t hear the end of it. Mark was leaving in less than a month and this was not the way you wanted to spend your last few days with him. 

“I love you y/n. I love you so much—y/nnnnn—you’re so beautiful baby—so pretty—I love youuuuuu-“ You couldn’t help but giggle no matter how frustrated you were with him; he was such a child at heart and it was even more prominent every time he would drink. 

“Mark, stop. You’re drunk.”

“And you’re extremely sexy—what? I’m just stating facts. Baby, say it back. Tell me you love me.”

“Mark—“

“Please. I need you to say that you love me. Don’t forget about me when I leave—please. I’ve been debating on leaving for the longest time—I can’t lose you y/n—you—you’re all—everything—all that I need—to me.” 

His words were slurred, but each word sent a pang of hurt to your chest. He sounded so genuine and even if there was a chance he wouldn’t remember anything in the morning, you knew there was no way you would ever forget the gut wrenching look in his eyes as he begged you not to give up on him. Instead of answering; especially because you were so close to crying at his heartfelt words, you pulled him in to a fleeting kiss. 

Although all you could taste on his lips was the cheap tequila and salt that was on the rim of his shot glass, you found yourself melting at the sensation of his soft lips against yours. This kiss was different than most of the ones shared between the two of you. While most of his kisses were rough and passionate; as if the world were to end and he needed to prove to you how much he loved you each and every single time, this kiss was softer, gentler in a way you were quite used to. 

Especially because Mark’s dominant side came out whenever he was under the influence but you weren’t complaining. It’s as if you could feel what he wanted to say through the kiss. To your dismay, he pulled away right as he began shoving his tongue down your throat and the whimper that fell from your lips made him giggle in to the crook of your neck. 

“I wanna show you exactly what you mean to me. Tonight. Are you alright with that?” If this was any other time, you would’ve said no although sex with Mark whenever one of you were drunk was always such a fun and wild experience. Even more so when both of you had a little too much to drink; but because the time for him to leave was just right around the corner, you wanted to have him to yourself as much as you possibly could. You nodded against his chest and leaned your cheek right against his heart. 

“Hearts are a funny thing don’t you think? Some people say hearts are the reason why we’re alive, but that’s because they haven’t met you. You’re the reason for my existence baby, don’t you dare forget it.” You playfully rolled your eyes and scoffed as you tightened your grip around his lower back. 

“How is it that you’re drunk as hell yet so fucking cheesy. Only you Mark Tuan.” He gave you a wide grin before letting you out from his embrace and tipsily running in to the street. Your eyes practically jumped out of your head at his sudden movement and you made your way towards him. How could someone have so much energy with all that alcohol in their system?

“Mark, get over here! Are you crazy?”

“Yeah, crazy for you! Dance with me y/n.” As silly as he looked, flailing his arms back and forth like a bird, you didn’t want to have to end up in the emergency room because of his drunken antics. He was quick to pout when you tugged at his wrist and pulled him back in to the sidewalk, but he allowed you to do so. Mark might have not been completely there, but he knew not to upset you. Finally after what felt like hours, the taxi driver pulled up to you and your boyfriend and you all but gently forced Mark in to the taxi. 

As you gave the driver directions back to Mark’s apartment and helped buckle him in, he rested his head on your shoulder. He intertwined your fingers together and stole a chaste kiss from the corner of your mouth while murmuring a quiet apology against your lips. Once the driver dropped you both off to Mark’s apartment structure, it took you almost fifteen minutes to drag him up to his unit. 

He fell asleep not too long after you drove off from the bar and you released the longest sigh of relief as soon as you opened his door. You continued the trek to his room and plopped him on to the bed with intentions of changing out of your dress. 

So much for drunk sex. 

You tried your best to remove your make up and change in to one of his shirts as fast as you possibly could in order to make sure he was still breathing, but you had nothing to worry about when you walked back in to his room. He was out like a light. You decided to leave him be, he’d just have to deal with his hungover state once he woke up in the morning. You turned off the lights and found your place next to him. 

Out of habit, you pulled him in to your body and left soft kisses along his face. These last few weeks have been some of the hardest weeks of your entire life and you tried to lie to yourself thinking it was because of school. But deep down you knew it was because Mark was leaving. There was nothing you could say or do to stop him; well, you knew if you were to ask him to stay he would. However, you wouldn’t be able to live with yourself knowing you were the reason Mark didn’t get to follow and achieve his dreams. 

“I’m not going anywhere Mark. I’m yours. Forever.” Not too long after that dream, more memories from your past with Mark began popping up in your mind; but why now? It wasn’t like you’ve never dreamt about him since the breakup, but it seemed as if your heart was trying to pressure you in to taking him back. Memories of your first date and how Mark sneaking stole a kiss from your lips as the two of you were eating ice cream to the first time you made love with one another replayed over and over and you wanted to scream. 

You could still hear him whispering sweet nothings in to your ear while he loved on each and every one of your body parts. You could still remember the way he would touch you as if you were a masterpiece. He never failed to make you feel like the most beautiful and ethereal human being in the entire world with just his touch alone. The next dream was one that you had no memory of and you couldn’t put your finger to where you were. 

All you saw were white walls and a bunch of balloons tied to flower baskets. It was then that you heard a soft cry of a baby and when you looked down, there was the most breathtaking little infant in your hands. As you caressed the baby’s cheek, you felt someone running their fingers through your hair and when you looked up, you saw Mark looking at you with so much love and adoration in his eyes. 

This was all you ever wanted from the beginning of your relationship with Mark. To settle down and start a family with him. To have little Marks or mini versions of yourself running around your house. To go on family trips, have family game nights and spend as much time with your little family. As quickly as that dream came, it went with a snap of your finger. 

This last dream was more of a nightmare and although you were fast asleep, you remembered this memory as if it was yesterday. Dropping off Mark to the airport. It had to be one of the worst days of your life. Not only did the car ride feel extremely long, but as soon as you walked with his family and your group of friends to his gate, you felt like you were going to throw up. 

“Hey, don’t cry y/n. I’ll be back. In the mean time baby, take good care of yourself for me please? God, what am I going to do without you? I love you y/n. I love you, I love you, I love you. I’ll call you as soon as I land. I expect five pictures a day of your beautiful self. It won’t be long until you’re back in my arms again. Until then baby.” 

That was the last time you shared a kiss together; the last time you hugged him and felt his warm embrace. The arms that once were your home was now just a memory. As you watched him walk through security, the cries fell from the back of your throat and you didn’t even realize you sank to your knees until BamBam and Jinyoung joined you on the ground. 

You stood up and attempted to run towards him, but soon the dream changed and you were in the dark. You couldn’t see anything and you felt so scared. This is what your life felt like without Mark. Scary. Pitch black. Empty. Unnerving. 

You ran in circles and began screaming; however, you were no longer dreaming and it became adamant that you were now wide awake and so was the man who was haunting your dreams. Feeling his hands grip at your arms as he started to shake you felt foreign. It’s been so long since he’s touched you, and this wasn’t exactly what you had in mind when you’d think about having Mark’s hands on you again. You couldn’t see him, nor could you hear him but you were sure he was yelling and trying to break you out of your little breakdown. 

“Y/n, hey, wake up y/n. Y/n, it’s just a dream. Shhhh, it’s okay. I’m here, shhh—come here.” You didn’t have the strength or energy to push him away and allowed him to pick you up and rock you back and forth. Since you were still in such a haze, you didn’t even feel the gentle kiss he left on your forehead but you knew that you loved being back in his arms and you were sure you’d allow him to hold you even if you came to your senses. 

After a couple of moments and giving yourself the chance to recollect your thoughts, you sat up and got off from his lap; making your way back to your previous spot in bed. You turned around to face him yet you couldn’t look directly at him. He’d know what you were probably freaking out over just by the expression in your eyes and you refused to let him know that he was still on your mind even after all this time. 

The two of you sat in silence for a few minutes; you had nothing to say yet Mark wanted to spill everything. He wanted you to know how much he regrets leaving you, how he wishes he just stayed back if it meant the two of you would still be together, how hearing you scream made his heart sink to his chest and how he didn’t hesitate to run in and check to see if you were okay even if you were to push him away. 

“Are you—are you okay?” When you didn’t say anything, he took that as his sign to leave but right as he began to stand up, you did the unthinkable. It was probably your heart acting for you, but as soon as you felt his lips melding in to yours, you felt your body go up in flames. He didn’t hesitate to kiss back as soon as you brought your lips up to his and he was quick to bring you on to his lap as if the two of weren’t apart for the last two years. 

His lips felt foreign yet all too familiar and you allowed yourself to continue giving in to him. There weren’t any red flags going off in your mind as you thought there would be and you knew that this time was different. Those dreams awoken something inside of you. After getting to experience what your future with Mark would be like, you didn’t want to  spend a future with anyone else other than the beautiful man who was currently kissing you as if his life depended on it. 

It was going to take a while for you to forgive him, but you were willing to give him another chance. It was Mark for crying out loud. You would do anything he asked of you, no matter how stubborn and prideful you were. He pulled away when he felt things were getting too heavy and placed his forehead against yours. You both took some time to catch your breath and he placed his forehead against yours while reaching for your hand.

“Y/n—“

“No. Not right now. We’ll talk in the morning. I want to go back to sleep.” 

He nodded in understanding and allowed you to climb off of his lap. He brushed some of your hair back and gently pinched your cheek as a sign of affection that he used to do to you all the time. Since he didn’t know what you were feeling or thinking in that moment, he intended to make his way back in to the living room but you had other plans. When he felt you reach for his hand and pulled him back in to bed with you, he couldn’t stop the cheeky smile that rose on his face and you wanted nothing more than to kiss that stupid smile away. 

“Where do you think you’re going?”

“I thought you’d want to be alone.” You let out a quick scoff before wrapping your arms around his neck and leaving a soft kiss on his jaw. 

“Well you thought wrong asshole. Don’t go.” His laughter echoed throughout the room causing butterflies to erupt in your tummy. You knew when the guys were to find out what had happened tonight that there was a chance they’d be upset with you, but you didn’t care. Everyone and their mothers knew just how much Mark meant to you and you’d be stupid to push him out of your life forever. You’d sort things out in the morning but for right now, you were going to allow things to progress with the two of you. This was the first time in years that you felt safe and genuinely happy right before you went to sleep and you knew it had everything to do with Mark. As your eyes began to close, his last few words made your heart flutter. 

“You have nothing to worry about baby. I’m here to stay.”

But I knew you Playing hide-and-seek and Giving me your weekends I, I knew you Your heartbeat on the High Line Once in twenty lifetimes, I And when I felt like I was an old cardigan under someone's bed You put me on and said I was your favorite To kiss in cars and downtown bars Was all we needed You drew stars around my scars But now I'm bleeding 'Cause I knew you Stepping on the last train Marked me like a bloodstain, I I knew you Tried to change the ending Peter losing Wendy I, I knew you Leaving like a father Running like water, I When you are young, they assume you know nothing But I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss I knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs The smell of smoke would hang around this long 'Cause I knew everything when I was young I knew I'd curse you for the longest time Chasing shadows in the grocery line I knew you'd miss me once the thrill expired And you'd be standing in my front porch light And I knew you'd come back to me You'd come back to me And you'd come back to me And you'd come back And when I felt like I was an old cardigan under someone's bed You put me on and said I was your favorite

#got7 imagines #got7 #mark tuan #got7 mark #mark tuan imagines

[heavyweightheart]

Hi! If you have time/energy, could you point me towards some resources? I'm trying to let go of my desire to "be beautiful" - perform beauty rituals like makeup, wear clothes that "flatter me" but aren't comfortable, etc. - and Google is not helping me at all. I want to work towards a state where I can just be without concern for whether I look beautiful or not, but I can't find any resources for doing that. Any advice you have (or even just better terms to Google) would be helpful. Thank you!

hey! this is such a big question, about what’s really a lifelong process. but i hear you saying, like, where do you start?? 

i like my own body image curriculum hgfkdjgldk in case you hadn’t heard. and the list of other resources there is good too–someone like sonya renee taylor is challenging norms around beauty, size, gender, race. caleb luna too! i think you really need to find your people–this process definitely happens interpersonally as well as intrapersonally. the people you spend time with and the social media you follow can be a powerful influences in growth and healing or in harm and the reinforcement of norms. 

other practical tips are: cover your mirrors! try just existing, interocepting. check in with your body rather than its reflection. this can definitely happen in degrees.

start small! maybe you just go on one grocery shopping trip in “““unflattering”““ clothes (you know well that this is just fatphobia). could you hang out w friends w no makeup, just once? idk where you are w all this, but meet yourself there. what’s a small positive challenge that you could experiment with? 

align with your values! when you’re having a how-do-i-look panic moment, think “what’s really important to me right now?” if it’s personal connection, say in the form of validation, are there people you can get that from? i’ve learned from my friends that you can just ask for what you need! “do you have the space to give me some affirmation right now?” “i’m having an insecure moment! could you just remind me that i’m valuable?” what do you want taking up your brain and heart space? practice thinking on them.

terms to search: body acceptance; the beauty myth (this book is worth reading); self-compassion; appearance preoccupation; fat positive; cripple punk; [lots of things i’m forgetting]

#little-ball-of-feminist-rage

[theglassishalfsomething]

Darcy Interviews Bing: Romance

 1. Do you believe in love at first sight? If so, convince me!

I do believe in it! Proof: a family friend of mine met his wife at a Catholic youth group meeting and told the friend he went with to the gathering as they were leaving that he couldn’t live without her. He just knew. They’ve been married for 30+ years now. 

Look- we’ve talked about this. I don’t believe in relationship at first sight- that’s crazy. And I don’t think that the love is fully formed or mature but I think it’s real, I think it’s love, and I think it can happen at first sight (meeting). 

I’m not saying it’s the only way people fall in love. It’s not the way a lot of people do and that’s totally fine. I also think it’s something that irresponsible people can use as an excuse for irresponsible behavior and it doesn’t justify anything in terms of recklessness or even foolishness. You still have to get to know someone before you commit to dating them, you shouldn’t be reckless. But what’s in your heart, though fragile, undeveloped, “no proof, not much” IS love. That’s what it IS. It’s not something else! 

And in a sense all love is love at first sight. As Christopher Marlowe says, “Who ever loved, that loved not at first sight?” Sometimes it just takes us longer to see it- the first sight happens down the road but it still happens in a moment. I totally get why people love the Darcy/Lizzy love story more than a more conventional love at first sight. I too am probably more moved by “I cannot fix on the hour or the spot or the look or the words that laid the foundation; it is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that I’d begun” than “I just knew” but then idk !!! they’re both beautiful!!

I tend to get in fights with people about this and I haven’t yet succeeded in convincing anyone of this and also it doesn’t really matter because I think it’s probably wiser that people don’t go around believing it and being convinced that the cute person you made eye contact with on public transportation is THE ONE and you “just know”. But I just. In my heart of hearts I believe it’s real. 

Matt Damon met his wife at a bar okay!!!! Saw her across the room !!!! and KNEW. I didn’t make that up- that happened to him.

2. If you could spend an hour talking about love with one person, living or dead, who would it be?

Well, in truth I’d talk about it with my family and friends but as I already DO that I’m going to go with Taylor Swift and/or (hopefully and) Jane Austen. I think it would be pretty funny if they were both prosaic about it though. Being an artist and being an explainer/rhetorician aren’t the same thing and I love the idea of both of them being not very eloquent about something they’re so GOOD at talking about in other ways. Like the way you once described Megan Whalen Turner and Adam Driver as discussing their work in the same matter-of-fact, understated, unflowery way. (I think about that a lot.)

This question got away from me. I’d still want to talk to Taylor about it though haha. 

3. Do you think that “opposites attract” is a more consistently true principle of successful romance, or can two similar people work together?

WHAT A GOOD QUESTION AND ONE ON WHICH I HAVE MUSED MUCH SINCE YOU FIRST POSED IT TO ME

I think in the end it comes back to the idea of balance. (#reylo, #willieverstopbeingthemostannoyingaboutthisNO) Romances, friendships, any kind of relationship works great and beautifully when there are complementary differences that create a natural check and balance between two people. We’ve all got to steady each other out you know. But romance especially calls for those differences in temperament and even outlook where faults as much as virtues help keep the other in check/help push the other to grow. Damon is so sarcastic, Elena is so sincere. She grounds him and cuts through his defenses; he draws her out of her seriousness and out of her head and makes her have a little more fun. Ben is contemplative and thoughtful and questioning, Rey reckless, impulsive, and action-driven. He steadies Rey’s unthinking action, she helps shake him out of his inaction. They’re better together. I could go on.

“Opposites attract” has definitely been overblown because I think having the same fundamental priorities and beliefs and values is most important in a marriage- the most important thing let’s be real- and even in terms of interests and outlook similarities are good. But the edge of difference in personality and approach is good- it’s what creates the spark! It’s what makes it work. Thank God (truly) that we aren’t all the same.

4. What is the greatest lie about romance that is widely accepted?

That romantic love can be separated from morality, from charity, and thrive. It can’t. As Lewis says in The Four Loves, “The rebellious slogan 'All for love' is really love's death warrant (date of execution, for the moment, left blank).”

On a (somewhat loosely) connected note, that’s why I side-eye those romances that start out and then continue against the wishes and support of family, friends, a wider community. I don’t want to overstate it! Parents, friends, community can be close-minded, unfair, hateful, wrong etc. FOR SURE. But marriages that start out against everyone else in their circle with no intention or desire for reconciliation, with just the two people involved feeling that “this is us against the world, we can defeat all odds!” are not a good idea. A couple’s reasons for cutting ties and starting out in isolation may be necessary but should never be undertaken lightly or as a matter of course because we all need support. We need each other. 

“We’re In Love And Anyone Who Says We Cannot Do Whatever We Want Because Of That Hates True Love” feels like a default attitude in today’s culture, especially for teenagers, whenever any objections are raised. Objections should be raised. Sit DOWN and be willing to work your way through them and prove that you’ve thought about them and are ready for the risks and the work involved to make this the best thing it can possibly be. Stop being stupid!!! Your love is not the answer to everything!!!!! Your love cannot be your sole guide!!!! 

But I mean, true love that wants the true good can. But that’s different from passion, emotion and it’s not what everyone is operating from you know? We’re messy and human.

5. What do you dream of for your own romantic future, if you do?

Judging by these answers, it seems that I think it’s far too big a risk!!

But I mean, dreaming. Hmm. wow this is making me feel very shy. (Can I lower my font size so it’s like I’m whispering.) I want.............I don’t know. Alright, apart from someone who agreed with me on what was most fundamentally important- faith especially obviously- I’d want to love and be loved very deeply. I want all the things we talk about- friendship, trust, someone who helps me grow, someone who challenges me, someone who loves me a lot whom I loved as much in return. It’s- yeah. This isn’t a good answer but it’s such a hard question. 

6. Is I love you the most romantic thing that can be said, or are there other words you would choose?

you know I think “I love you” IS the most romantic thing !!! !!! Before you asked this I would have thought that I didn’t think that and I do love other verbal ways of expressing love but there is something about the words themselves that get to me. Whenever I hear it onscreen I kind of tear up a little bit. It’s why I always tend to ship canon couples at least a little bit because it’s like “BUT THEY LOVE EACH OTHER”. You know how I feel about Tyler and Caroline which is not much but there’s that one scene where he writes her a letter and it’s like “I will always love you” and i’m like “SHOOT ME I CAN’T TAKE IT.” 

They’re such beautiful words, so straightforward. So ageless. They don’t change! Human beings have been saying them to each other for centuries.

7. How, in this crazy fandom world, do we identify relationships that are ACTUALLY toxic, versus those that are growing/developing/in need of work?

ahem ahem aHEM A relationship isn’t toxic because screenwriters decide to have the characters say it is without backing that up or with writing bad decisions. I’m not bitter I say bitterly with a bitter expression. 

Relationships that are built on nothing but bad things- selfishness, control, abuse, lies- are toxic. Relationships that are separated from the pursuit of the good are toxic. 

That said, and it’s a big “that said”, we’re all broken, we’re all damaged, we’re all wounded and sinful and I believe that things can get better, that people can heal so a lot of rhetoric around this topic strikes me as wrong. Tumblr especially tends to label conflict, challenge, and imperfections as toxicity and it’s just- no. Those are all parts of a healthy relationship in this fallen world. 

Another way of putting it is that I think, in fiction especially, relationships that don’t DEAL with anything, that don’t involve the struggle of communication are not good. Lies and surface-level resolutions aren’t good.

I’m not qualified enough to talk more about it. (I mean it hasn’t stopped me so far but it’s stopping me here.)

8. Is love a choice?

Yes, but you can’t always control how you feel initially. You can always control what you do though, and it’s the doing that’s the most of love. To paraphrase Lewis, the feeling is just the spark that ignited it. 

(*sings* “I can’t decide if it’s a choice, getting swept away”)

9. How do you like your romance, in fiction: full of light and sunshine, warm and constant, or tragically resolute?

All of the above. If I had to choose one I’d say “warm and constant” but all of it absolutely kills me. Screams into the void. 

10. Tell me what kind of man I should marry.

Someone principled, steady, witty, kind. Also someone who’s a good cook and also who likes dogs so that you know they’re real and have at least one fault in your eyes.

#darcy interviews bing #romance #my answers get progressively shorter #i could ramble forever but it's getting late #amazing questions emma

[obviousartist]

So no one asked for this but here it is

this is so random gosh

@luxet​

Questions in bold

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora?

Spotify ‘till the end!

Is your room messy or clean?

It would probably surprise people, but it’s so dang messy.

What color are your eyes?

Brown.

Do you like your name? Why?

I don’t know, I feel like it’s kind of overused because I know a ton of people with the same name.

What is your relationship status?

Single pringle! Although some people are trying to set me up. So far, no progress, which is fine by me.

Describe your personality in 3 words or less.

Dude, I died.

I know that’s not a real description, but I’m a HUGE pessimist, and I use that sentence too much, I should probably stop, but dude, I actually died, though.

What color hair do you have?

Brown.

What kind of car do you drive? Color?

Non car = non couleur

Where do you shop?

Where DO I shop? When was the last time I went shopping?

Edit: okay so I went shopping today. At Harris Teeter. Is this asking where I like food shop or where I clothes shop?

How would you describe your style?

Dude, I don’t have a style. I am soooooooooo style-less. I don’t know, though, because Buzzfeed (not an accurate source) always says I’m a hipster. Although, it also says I’m 50, which I can assure you, I am not.

Favorite social media account.

TUMBLRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What size bed do you have?

Twin. But I should really get a new one.

Any siblings?

One annoying as f**k brother.

If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? Why?

Great Britain. Lots of culture, and they speak English too. Or NYC. Also much culture and BROADWAY, GUYS. BROADWAY!

Favorite Snapchat filter?

Non Snapchat = non filter

Favorite makeup brand(s)

I wear makeup like twice a year, okay? IDK.

How many times a week do you shower?

Usually every day, but I only wash my hair three/four times a week.

Favorite TV show?

I mean, Ellen is great, right?

Shoe size?

You can’t laugh. It’s a 4/4.5 women’s.

How tall are you?

We are now 5’2”. I know, shorty here.

Sandals or sneakers?

Sneakers. My nails look like trash.

Do you go to the gym?

Sometimes. Not usually, though, because I do many other physical activities already, so it’s not really helpful to wear myself out if I have to dance the next day or something.

Describe your dream date.

Ok. As a forever single pringle, I don’t really know (as of now). But. I will say that a serious creative something would be actually really nice. Not like painting class. But like reading. Performances. Things like that. Even movies (although the book is probably better).

How much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?

Kid, I’m broke. Haha. #liveswithparents

What color socks are you wearing?

I am currently barefoot, as I like it.

How many pillows do you sleep with?

Two. Deux. Dos. Due. Duo.

Do you have a job? What do you do?

No job here.

How many friends do you have?

I don’t know. I have my best friends and then I have my friends and then I have my kind of friends and then I have my acquaintances. I know a lot of people. I don’t like a lot of them.

What’s the worst thing you have ever done?

I don’t know. Not for me to judge.

What’s your favorite candle scent?

Vanilla.

3 favorite boy names

Alex, Jordan, and Eden.

3 favorite girl names

Alex, Elizabeth, and Jordan. Big fan of unisex names.

Favorite actor?

I don’t knowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Why did I start this, this is very hard?

Favorite actress?

Emma Watson. That one’s easy.

Who is your celebrity crush?

We’re still sorting that out; hold on. ONE ETERNITY LATER . . .

Favorite movie?

The Parent Trap? The Sound of Music? IDEK ok?

Do you read a lot? What’s your favorite book?

Of course I read a lot. STOP ASKING ME TO CHOOSE MY FAVORITE CHILD. THERE IS NONE.

Money or brains?

I have neither, but if I got to choose money or brains, I would definitely choose brains.

Do you have a nickname? What is it?

No nickname. I guess I’m just not that kind of person.

How many times have you been to the hospital?

I regret to say a few.

Top 10 favorite songs

You’re really in for it, guys. I’m Not Famous - AJR Me Too - Meghan Trainor Uma Thurman - Fall Out Boy Nightmare - Halsey Boy With Luv - BTS If I Can’t Have You - Shawn Mendes I Don’t Care - Ed Sheeran SOS - Avicii Summer on You - PRETTYMUCH Kiss and Make Up - Dua Lipa Summer - Calvin Harris

Others include:

Bloom - Troye Sivan

You Need To Calm Down - Taylor Swift

Do you take any medications daily?

I take vitamin D/calcium supplements. Not medication, but okay.

What is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)

A what what a what what what? I’m guessing oily?

What is your biggest fear?

Scaredy cat here, so I’ve got a lot of fears. I fear failure and being unwanted, though.

How many kids do you want?

Two. Deux. Dos. Duo.

What’s your go to hair style?

Ponytail.

What type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc)

Medium, I guess?

Who is your role model?

Emma Watson. Misty Copeland. Our female leaders leading change in the world.

What was the last compliment you received?

Uhm. I have no idea, man. I don’t even remember when it was.

What was the last text you sent?

No texting, but I do Skype. “Look kid idk but u said bye so ur loss”

How old were you when you found out Santa wasn’t real?

I had had my suspicions. But I don’t know who it actually was, and it is driving me kind of mad. I can assume it was my parents.

What is your dream car?

Honda Civic. Very sleek, not overly expensive.

I feel so boring.

Opinion on smoking?

DON’T FREAKING DO IT! I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU SMOKE. DON’T DO IT!

Do you go to college?

One day, my friends. One day.

What is your dream job?

Photographer? Editor? I don’t even know, okay?

Would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs?

Suburbs. You don’t have to drive really far to get somewhere, but it’s still kind of calm.

Do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels?

Yes. Always.

Do you have freckles?

Nope. Zero. Nada.

Do you smile for pictures?

Sometimes.

How many pictures do you have on your phone?

No phone, but I have a crap ton on my computer.

Have you ever peed in the woods?

Yeah. It was awful.

Do you still watch cartoons?

Non, merci.

Do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds?

Can I not eat either?

Favorite dipping sauce?

Soy sauce. Or sesame oil, depending on what food it is.

I’ll settle for ranch for some vegetables.

What do you wear to bed?

Sweatpants/shorts and a T-Shirt/cami.

Have you ever won a spelling bee?

No, I wish.

What are your hobbies?

I play piano and I dance. I also die, but we don’t talk about that.

Can you draw?

I’m decent, I guess. No. I’m awful.

Do you play an instrument?

Piano and viola. DON’T @ ME ABOUT PLAYING THE VIOLA.

What was the last concert you saw?

My school orchestra concert.

Tea or coffee?

Water. Orange juice. Neither.

Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?

Starbucks.

Do you want to get married?

Oui oui.

What is your crush’s first and last initial?

Uhm. Okay. So. SD.

Are you going to change your last name when you get married?

I don’t know. Depends on their last name.

What color looks best on you?

Black/navy blue.

Do you miss anyone right now?

My mom went somewhere (not disclosing) and my friends from school because it’s summer.

Do you sleep with your door open or closed?

Shut. Always. I have a brother. And a cat.

Do you believe in ghosts?

Non.

What is your biggest pet peeve?

People chewing with their mouths open. Ew.

Jeez I have so many, we’ll just say that for now.

Last person you called?

My mom.

Favorite ice cream flavor?

Vanilla. I promise I’m not boring.

Regular Oreos or golden Oreos?

GOLDEN!!!!

Chocolate or rainbow sprinkles?

Rainbow.

What shirt are you wearing?

An old Battle of the Books T-shirt from school.

What is your phone background?

No phone, but my computer background is an image of the Slytherin common room.

Are you outgoing or shy?

I am selectively outgoing.

Do you like it when people play with your hair?

I don’t know because no one touches it.

Do you like your neighbors?

I don’t know my neighbors. There’s this family that moved in and I’ve seen like two kids. Once on the day they got here. Another time when one of them was mowing the lawn. I don’t know them.

Do you wash your face? At night? In the morning?

At night.

Have you ever been high?

Non, merci.

Have you ever been drunk?

Non, merci.

Last thing you ate?

Peaches and apples.

Favorite lyrics right now.

STOP MAKING ME CHOOSE MY FAVORITE CHILD.

But: “Shade never made anyone less gay,” Taylor Swift - You Need To Calm Down

Summer or winter?

Summer.

Day or night?

Night. It’s currently 10:48 PM over here.

Dark, milk, or white chocolate?

White chocolate all the way.

Favorite month?

August.

What is your zodiac sign?

Leo.

Who was the last person you cried in front of?

I don’t know, okay? Probably my mom, though, knowing me.

I’m so boring.

Thank you so much for reading all of the sh*t I wrote up there.

#send me asks #idk man #wtf tumblr #what am i even doing #uhmmm #okay #random #boring #ugh ugh ugh

[sheerioswifties]

So I consulted with Taylor about all this (as in, I listened to a few specific songs, watched some live performances and Clean speeches and things that generally always remind me what's important and help me refocus) Anyway

I mean I was going to change some things with my blogging anyway, with the new year and personal resolutions that came after realizations; like idk I hold a lot back that's important while simultaneously shitposting too much about things that are not important and shouldn't occupy so much of anyone's time, etc. I'm also committed to continue to do my thing, and what happens, happens. This is an outlet for thoughts, for creativity, for putting things into words, for connecting, for being silly and finding ways to laugh in this world of so much depressing news and darkness... this is a place to be light and dorky and silly, at least that was part of my original intention and I'm going back to that.

There's some serious problems with people here, with the fandoms (which yeah there's some big issues not just in the TS world that I see that bug me or whatever, but this one has unique circumstances) the thing is like. Some people are just horrible human beings. Some people will never listen to reason. Some people will always be too selfish to see anything beyond their own bubble. And it can be easy to just unfollow and clear that negativity from my dash and move on. But then when I see that there are people, now lots of people, feeling really really hurt and unloved and invisible or snubbed or a whole host of depressed and sad and hurt feelings because of those trash human beings, I get really worked up because I really do hate seeing anyone feel hurt or bullied or feel friendless or hopeless etc and then I want to fight, fight for them, fight for the bigger problems which I can see so clearly but... then I also see that I can't solve these problems. I can't. And I need to accept that I think and just shut up about it because going into a rant does nothing but make me look like a dick to the weak minded people who refuse to see the point and it accomplishes absolutely zero change to the problem so why do that (not that I'm saying I'll never rant on here I mean... nobody's perfect and for me, ranting is more like venting when I know I can't do anything but sometimes just need to scream into the void you know? Except it's just you gotta be careful bc so many times people have completely misinterpreted what I was saying so anyway). And I can't change or have any affect whatsoever on the one person here who could change or fix things, Taylor, and a lot is on her too. She's not perfect and she's done a few things that worry me (and I mean like worry me because I love her and she's made some choices that put her in harm's way and I get protective) but, I literally can do nothing about that so??? There's no point.

All I can do is continue to be me, and continue to offer my blog as a place where there is no exclusivity based on your blog size or status or whatever, like I've seen so many people say they're just looking for friends and fun blogs and people to talk Taylor with but feel like they're snubbed or alone and I want you to know I see you and you're welcome here. Now I can't promise to always like, be able to talk a bunch, I used to be better at getting to know people and juggle a bunch of ongoing DM convos which I've not been able to handle as much just even energy wise with my health and I don't want anyone to feel like I'm snubbing them or ignoring them bc it's not that. If anything if you're looking for some good people to connect with, I've gotten to know some really incredible people on here that I can connect you with to be able to talk to more when I'm not physically available. If any of that makes sense.

So often I want to help people, I go way out of my way to try and do everything I can but there are some things here that are so much bigger than what I can do as one person and while that's hard to accept, it's how it is. I will continue to be me and try to spread love, positivity and trails of glitter all over the place. I just want to bring smiles to your faces and be there for you. I know so many of us are fighting battles in our lives outside Tumblr that we don't know about and I think about so many of you all the time.

Ugh I had a whole other thing I was going to say but I legitimately don't remember right now. So I'll post later if I think of it but. I'm not leaving/deleting, I'm just making some changes. This world is so freaking messed up you guys. And I'm am empath so I just I'm always soaking up all the energy and feelings around me (and then my intuition also kicks in and I see patterns and potential downfalls for people that I can't stop from happening and that's hard) and it can be very draining, and very frustrating when I see others suffering but have no control over any way to help them. But I just, I'll do what I can because I'll never give up on trying to at least brighten others days or let you know you're not alone or so on. Then also there's a lot of things I've held back because I've wanted to keep this a positive blog; I used to be told so much that people loved that about here so I felt like I should never get involved with sadness or negativity but you know what this world is those things and idk like I'm human and I'm not always glitter and sunshine so sometimes I break down and that seeps onto my blog and I do apologize for that but also hope you understand. And like I said there is a lot I've held back and some things are just not even worth the time but a couple things I feel like I just need to say my piece on at least and then move on so like. .that's coming and I'm sorry if that bothers you but this is my blog after all).

Oof now the next thing is going to be the tour movie's release and I was really looking forward to freaking out about and discussing every detail with you guys about it on the 31st but idk if I want to be here that day for reasons that were better worded by people in posts I reblogged earlier, like about how you get to a point where you don't want to come on here on days when you know Taylor will probably be on, because that's when the crazies come out and the shitty, trash human being behavior comes out in droves and idk I'm so tired of that? Idk at this point whether I'll be here or not and I'm not asking for advice btw I'm just kind of rambling. I mean in honesty if I'm not physically hindered like by the things I've got going on in my life, I probably will be here because with the right people I've found that it really can be hella fun experiencing this stuff together so there's that. I mean following the tour this year has been full of so much fun that was amplified by getting to like freak out together over it all, you know? (I feel like I want to dig up some of my super positive posts on this stuff from back when I wasn't so jaded by the backlash of overwhelming grossness by what really in actuality is just a small faction of this fandom).

Actually I'm going to end this post here for now because I've rambled enough and not even sure if I really explained what I wanted to get across so I might try again later with that. So I'll just be done with this for now. Xo

#love you guys #the good ones #Dec 27 #personal

[deathbyhysteria]

57 facts tag !!

i was tagged by @serensims - thank you for tagging me even though i took so long because it gave me a migraine lol

i tag @gemgeminox @maplestreetsims @justkeeponsimming @all-harlows-eve @daisydezem and anyone else who wants to have a go.

facts are under the cut!

1.   i just turned 21 years old

2.  i am studying law in london

3.   when i finish i may go and do a postgrad somewhere abroad! we’ll see

4.   i have literally no hobbies now

5.   when i was younger i used to do ballet, viola, piano, guitar, yoga, drama, dance, singing and ballroom dancing - not all at the same time (i.e. i was much more well rounded than i am now)

6.   i have one younger sister

7.   i always wanted to have an older sibling, especially an older brother

8.    i used to be a big reader but i stopped. but over the summer i’ve been reading more again, especially crime books by Harlan Coben

9.    some shows i’ve been watching a lot of over the summer: bojack horseman, 3%, the flash

10.   s5 of bojack horseman actually came out on my birthday and i tried to rewatch all 4 seasons before then but i failed. however i just started the new season today!

11.   i was admitted to hospital twice over the summer, once while i was abroad i’m holiday which SUCKED

12.   i love travelling and some of the places i’ve been to are: italy, cyprus, various places in the usa, jamaica, mexico, nigeria, greece, spain, switzerland.

13.   my dream destination is japan... i would love to visit so badly

14.   speaking of japan, my favourite cuisine is actually japanese food, and i also really enjoy chinese and what little i have tried of vietnamese food too

15.   i have only one (two?) piercings and that’s my ear lobes. but i would love to get a second set of piercing on my lobes and i’m hoping to do it in the near future

16.  i’d love to get a tattoo one day but i’m not sure what i’d get and also i don’t like pain

17.   i’m in and out of hospital kinda frequently because of a medical condition i have (without going into specifics, you could say i’m a little like a spoonie)

18.   the only surgery i’ve had was when i was about 6 years old and i had my tonsils removed

19.   i really like makeup and i can get quite creative with it, but i don’t tend to wear anything outside of mascara, my go to lipstick (which is touch by mac) and possibly eyeliner on a daily basis

20.   i’m 5ft 7in (and a half)

21.   i know basic french and a little more than basic spanish, and i’m a native english speaker

22.   this year i’m learning yoruba, and i’m also hoping to pick up some basic german too

23.   i rarely cry at movies but the only ones which did manage to make me cry were: titanic (i’m sure i was too young to be watching it at the time), princess and the pea, boy in the striped pyjamas... oh and avengers: infinity war which made me bawl like my puppy had died

24.  i’m a really big fan of the mcu and i always go to watch the new releases in the cinema with my sister and my dad

25.   i’ve never see the incredible hulk so idk maybe that makes me a fake fan

26.   i had to wear braces for 6-7 years? but afterwards i stopped wearing my retainers so some of the gaps opened up in my teeth again 🤷‍♀️ what can you do

27.   i love music and i always try to give every genre a go... the only one i can’t deal with is country music

28.   my favourite thing is getting to see live music and i’ve gotten to see: one direction (my first concert!), 5 seconds of summer, little mix, twenty one pilots, hey violet and most recently taylor swift

29.   i’m still taking driving lessons over a year after i first started but my driving test is booked for next friday so idk maybe i’ll have an official license soon if i don’t flop

30.   i had 4 really close friends in high school but after that we kinda grew apart and i got pretty lonely and pretty bad (read: ridiculously awful) at making friends

31.   i did struggle with depression and mild anxiety in the past

32.   if you have mental health issues - please try and talk to someone about it. keep trying until you find someone you can trust. it took me a long time to admit i needed help and even longer to find someone i felt comfortable confiding in, but it was the best thing i ever did.

33.   i did really really well in my gcse’s but since then i’ve just gotten dumber i guess because all my grades have been nothing short of average, sometimes even significantly below average

34.   tumblr is basically the only social media i use now. i stopped using facebook, twitter and instagram, and i only keep the snapchat app around so i can take cute selfies, but i don’t ever post

35.   it’s 2am as i type this and i’m running out of things to say

36.   i used to get really painful periods, to the point where i was basically bedridden and the pain was enough to make me physically throw up. luckily they aren’t as bad anymore

37.   i love the summer and i really need that vitamin d in my life

38.   i really love winter clothes and big loose comfy sweaters are literally my favourite thing

39.   i drink a lot of tea, especially green tea with lots of honey

40.   i’m mildly lactose intolerant and yesterday i drank a chocolate milk which had some adverse effects... it wasn’t worth it tbh it tasted kinda nasty

41.   i used to really love bratz and i watched all the movies and even bought some of their albums

42.  i can’t really walk in heels but i’m trying... platform heels are not so bad but then i get people telling me i’m tall already so i don’t need to wear heels (as if i don’t just wear them because i like them)

43. i love lush bath bombs and i always have a few hanging around my bathroom

44.   my dress size is like a 10 but sometimes i have to go up a size because of my big bust, which i hate

45.   i actually really enjoy playing the papa’s pizzeria franchise online and they’re like my go to games when i’m really bored

46.   speaking of games i also really love phoenix wright, i’m playing the trilogy on the app now as i had only played ace attorney before

47.   i love getting manicures and idk why but i always tend to paint my nails dark blue... there’s this shade this one shade and no matter which nail bar you send me to, if they have it i’ll always pick it out without even realising it

48.   i play sims on my macbook air which probably isn’t a great pc for gaming bc it always makes the fan go absolutely crazy, although my game never lags even back when i used alpha cc

49.   i played the og sims but i never played sims 2 or 3 and i also never bought any expansion packs even though i was desperate to

50.   i wear a lot of black, not intentionally but probably because it’s just a safe colour that you can’t go wrong with

51.   i actually really enjoy getting socks as a gift but no one buys me them because i think it’s a universally accepted fact that socks are a rubbish gift

52.   i don’t own any trousers that aren’t jeans and i think that’s probably a little odd but i’m not sure

53.  i don’t have a great track record of keeping my mobile safe and i’ve ruined a lot of good phones by cracking the screen, dropping them in the toilet, dropping them into my cereal, or just plain losing them

54.   speaking of which i currently have an iphone 6s in rose gold and i love it and don’t care all that much to upgrade it. but it only has 16gb of space and i’m desperate for more

55.   i also really enjoy getting new pyjamas. and my favourite pyjamas are the ones that aren’t pyjamas at all i.e. just give me a t-shirt in size xxxl and i’m good to go

56.   i wear glasses because i have a lazy eye and i’m also long sighted (which is an absolute recipe for disaster when you’re trying to apply eyeliner, let me tell you)

57.   i’m genuinely surprised that i managed to list 57 facts about me!

#tags #57 facts tag #non sims

[thorne93]

Unexpected Guest (Part 1)

Prompt: Imagine working a party and seeing a mysteriously handsome man who captures your entire attention. There’s one catch: you’re engaged to a different man.

Warnings: angst, fighting, negative relationships, flirting, language, smoking (cigs? Is that even a warning? idk)...

Word Count: 3078

Notes: Inspired by Gorgeous - Taylor Swift...Beta’d by my amazing @like-a-bag-of-potatoes. I’m so blessed to call you a friend, love. OFC/OC Jeremy

Forever Tags: @capsmuscles @cocosierra94 @essie1876 @magpiegirl80 @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked @harleyquinnandscarletwitch @iamwarrenspeace @marvel-imagines-yes-please@superwholocked527 @myparadise1982sand @missinstantgratification @thejemersoninferno @rda1989 @marvelloushamilton @munlis @thefridgeismybestie @bubblyanarocks3 @random-fluffy-pink-unicorn @hardcollectionworldtrash @igiveupicantthinkofausername @kaliforniacoastalteens @feelmyroarrrr​ @kaeling​

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Putting the finishing touches on your hair and looking over your daring bright red dress in the mirror, you smiled in approval at the outfit. You were donning a red, form fitting cocktail dress that had a see through sash sweep train, the sash train nearly reaching the floor, landing just above your bright red heels to match. Unfortunately, you didn’t have a good necklace to match but you did have earrings so you popped those in, did another once over, and went out to the living room of your shared home with your fiance.

“So what do you think?” you asked, stepping in front of the tv and twirling, playing with the sash a bit.

Jeremy, your fiance, grunted and tried to peer around you, waving you to move from his sight. “What the hell, Y/N? I’m trying to watch this.”

“So pause it,” you tried. “How do I look?” you asked, your ego already deflated and at this point not really giving a shit what he thought.

He frowned angrily and looked at you as if you just interrupted the biggest business deal of the year. He whipped his face to your body for half a second. “You look fine.” His eyes shot back to the screen before asking, “Where you going?”

“I told you this every day this week, I’m going to a party for Nicholas Hamilton. We’re catering...for the It party?” you said as a reminder, your voice going up to try and trigger some remembrance.

He barely shrugged.

You sighed. “Good night. I’m not sure how long the party will run, but we’re supposed to be catering and serving alcohol all night so don’t wait up,” you informed as you grabbed your clutch. “If you could, do the dishes, please.”

“Yeah, yeah. Have fun at your shower,” he called as you went out the door, his remark making you roll your eyes. His behavior wasn’t atypical. This was normal for him to not know what you were doing, or where, or when. You would tell him and he’d forget or just flat not listen. For the past three years since you’ve been engaged, you’ve chalked it up to him not wanting to be involved with the girly part of your life or the infamous myth that “men never listen”.

You hopped in your car and drove through LA to the home of Nicholas, to meet your team. You had a team of around eleven people for this party. It was a simple, typical Los Angeles house party. He expected one hundred guests, so you would accommodate that with two bartenders, five servants--three circulating the party, two on standby at the buffet to serve--and you had five cooks back at the restaurant to prepare it all. You didn’t need to be at this party, per se, but being a control freak, it certainly helped your nerves to know that your staff was doing their best and that the food looked and tasted perfectly.

On this particular party, you didn’t prepare any of the food, but they were all your recipes and creations, but you trusted your chefs fully to prepare this food. Typically, you would help, but in this case you just wanted to oversee the event.

You finally arrived at the home, just in time to see the team unloading the trays of food, utensils, flatware, and glassware.

“Oh good, you’re on time,” you breathed as you rushed up to your staff.

“Of course we’re on time,” Jeff responded with a scoff, one of the young servers you’d hired. He was a definite asset to your team.

“Well I was just--” you started before a chorus of workers cut you off.

“Worried.”

“Yeah, we know,” your best friend and top employee, Ida, stated as she grabbed a tray, her raven hair pulled up in a sleek bun. “You don’t have to fret. We know how to do this,” she assured.

“I know but I just can’t help it,” you reminded, slightly wringing your hands. “Have you all been inside yet?”

“Nope, just got here,” Jeff informed.

“Ah, great.” At that, you ran up the sidewalk to the front door and rang the bell. Nicholas answered, greeting you with a smile and a hug.

“You’re here! Awesome!” he said opening the door.

“Absolutely! Where would you like us to set up?” you questioned.

“I’ll show you. Come on,” he said, gesturing inside the moderately sized home. You led the way for your staff of seven through the house to a fairly large kitchen with an island and plenty of counter space. “So use whatever space you need. If you need anything, let me know. The party will start in about an hour so…”

“Thank you,” you said sweetly. “And thank you again for picking us to cater the event.”

He shrugged. “Hey, your food is freakin’ awesome. That stuff was like crack on set. I knew I had to have you again.”

“Well thank you again. We’ll get everything set up and warming,” you informed as the staff filed past you with trays, dishes, and a myriad of other goods. “Okay, Ryan, put that tray over there. Jennifer, could you start the warming trays--”

“Y/N, stop,” Ida commanded softly. “We know what we’re doing. How about we set up and you can correct us if you don’t like it?”

It took you a second to concede, a little unwilling to relinquish power but you nodded. Everyone seemed to relax by a fraction and they set to work. You watched them, quietly, observing how they set it up, how fast it took, if they did it properly and in a sanitary manner. So far they were doing everything exactly as you would want done. The hors d'oeuvres were arranged neatly and in an appealing manner. The main dishes were on their warming trays. The plates, glasses, and utensils were arranged perfectly. The bartenders got set up with their glasses, tumblers, and a small bar that you’d purchased. It was a collapsable sort of bar, but it was sturdy and well made. This way, it gave the real feeling of being at a bar, and the bartender could keep an eye on his glasses, the alcohol, and tips. All the while, the crew was back and forth from the van, bringing in more of everything.

About thirty minutes later, a DJ showed up. He was actually one of the hotter DJs in LA right now. You only knew this because you’d seen him at a few of the events your company catered, and being one of the top  three caterers in the city was a good indicator you were at all the right events.

Though being at all of these glamorous parties, it didn’t have the effect on you it might have other people. You hardly ever watched TV or movies. You never went to the theater, you didn’t binge Netflix, you didn’t rent redbox, you didn’t have Hulu. Every once in a blue moon, you’d watch a movie, if you’d seen the trailer for a movie that was spectacular, but typically you didn’t watch anything. Instead, you read or you were working on recipes. You didn't have a lot of time for much of anything else, and if you did, you didn’t use that time for it.

In a way, it was a blessing. Because if you knew who these people were, what they played in, it might make you act differently. Like being star struck, and you didn’t want to be that way. You knew a lot of actors, actresses, directors, or producers names. You knew most of the “big” ones, the ones people could only ignore if they lived under a rock, such as George Clooney, Charlize Theron, Angelina Jolie...But even then, you held your composure. If you worked directly with a big name in Hollywood, they quickly turned into any other customer: what food do they want, where and when do they want it. The whole mystique of the title of being an actor or director fell away when you were working on how many shrimp cocktails they wanted.

So when Nicholas reached out for this party, you were pleasantly surprised. You’d catered for the set of It for about three weeks towards the end of filming, but that was nearly a year ago now. You’d brought them lunch every day, and got to see a glimpse of the magic happening for that movie. Now, Nicholas was throwing a party one week before the premiere.

Part of you wanted to see it because you’d read the book long ago, part of you didn’t care if you never saw it. In fact, you weren’t sure who played the clown. You knew most of the kids because they would storm the food table as soon as the director let them loose for lunch and you often joked around with them, but the clown would stand up, stare at you for a moment, which usually creeped you the fuck out, then he would disappear. You always assumed he just went to get out of makeup or went to take a rest because he never approached the table to get food, at least while you were there.

The party had just started, with people filling in quickly, heading straight for the food. You made sure to get the hell out of the way as people grabbed plates and glasses and filled up on food and drink then set out to mingle in the house or out in the medium back yard with pool and patio. It made you fill with pride and happiness to see people take bites of your food and light up.

After about an hour and a half into the party, and you mingling with some of the younger actors you’d met on set, along with other people you’d never met, a man showed up at the party. He was tall and lanky, but he took your breath away. He was absolutely gorgeous with dark hair and eyes that made it impossible for you to move. He entered the house, his eyes scanning the party before they landed on yours, and when they did, a small smile touched his face. He nodded to you before setting off through the throng of people.

Your jaw was hanging open. You weren’t sure what had just happened. That man had completely captivated you, but you were sure you’d never seen him before. No, eyes and a face like that you would’ve remembered. Your eyes were glued to his back as he made his way out to the back yard.

Finally, you regained composure and went back into the kitchen where Ida was refilling one of the platters. You stood against the counter, speechless, as Ida saw you out of the corner of her eye.

“You look like you saw a ghost. What’s up?” she questioned before turning her attention back to her task.

“This guy...He...I don’t know. He just walked in and he looked right at me and…Ida, he was gorgeous,” you said in a breathy voice.

She chuckled lightly. “That good, huh? You need to pick your drooling chin off the floor though. You have a fiance,” she reminded.

Just then, you remembered, you did. How awful of a person were you that a pretty face made you entirely forget about the man waiting at home for you? Even if Jeremy was sometimes a passive dick, he didn’t deserve what you’d just done. You shook your head, the self loathing starting to wash over you.

As soon as Ida stepped away, you went back to mingling, subtly asking people if they enjoyed the food and nearly illuminating from head to toe when they raved about it. Yet all night, as the music sounded through the air, the lights dimmed outside and in, the mysterious man would appear then disappear, each time, the two of you would steal glances, no matter if he was talking to someone or you were, your eyes always found each other. When your gazes did meet, you were frozen for those few seconds, completely transfixed, as if he had a spell on you. You’d stare at each other a moment, then go back to mingling. Sometimes he broke the gaze, sometimes you did, but it happened an insurmountable amount of times.

The jitters of the party and praying everything went well, along with the captivating guy, you needed a break. You stepped outside on the patio and fished around your clutch for the small pack of cigs you kept. Typically you were a social smoker but your anxiety had peaked due to the party, the tiff with Jeremy, and this guy so you needed some nicotine related relaxation. The quiet of the outside and the zero guests made it appealing.

Why was this guy so damned gorgeous? And why did it bother you? You worked in LA, hot men paraded in and out of your store and at parties and events you attended all the time. What the hell did this fucker have that you’d never encountered before? You lit the cigarette and took a drag.

“Having a good night?” a smooth voice suddenly sounded beside you. You didn’t recognize it so it wasn’t Nicholas or anyone on your staff or anyone you’d talked to tonight. You turned slightly to your left to see the man in question. Instantly your mouth dried and your heart raced.

“Uh, yeah. I am,” you responded, stammering a bit, then frowning at yourself for acting like a total spaz. He got closer to you, pulling a pack out for himself and lighting up, but you couldn’t look at him, he was too intimidating. “And you?” you questioned. “You having a nice evening?” you inquired before flicking your ash.

“Not really, but then I saw you,” he stated.

You half smiled, the other half wanted to roll your eyes at his statement. So you turned to look at him to tell him off for using such a lame ass line, but when your eyes landed on him, you couldn’t breathe. He had the cigarette poised in his mouth, his fingers cradling it, taking a drag. This was the first time you’d been this close to him all night, face to face. The sight of him and that cigarette, made your insides do things it hadn’t done in a long time for anyone, including Jeremy. Not to mention the dark sweater and jean combo he was wearing that complimented his fair skin nicely.

“Uh...Um..wow, what a poor excuse for a pickup line,” you chastised when you gathered your senses.

“Who said it was a line?” he asked before blowing the smoke out.

Just then, a blush hit you hard. It was a big assumption on your part that he was hitting on you.

“Oh...I…” you stuttered, feeling like a dumbass.

He grinned at you. “It was, a bit,” he confessed, saving you from your meltdown. “But seriously. You look amazing tonight.”

“You say that as if we’ve met,” you noted curiously.

“I saw you on set,” he informed.

“Oh,” you said, realizing why he said what he said.

“Yeah,” he continued.

The blush heated your cheeks again. “Well...thank you.” A moment of quiet passed between you two. “So you worked on the set for It? Were you on the crew?” You only asked because, if he was an actor, you would’ve met him, and you hadn’t.

He gave you a strange look, almost puzzled, before he gave a slight nod and said, “Yeah, something like that.” A sideways smile crept on his face and you found yourself smiling like an idiot back at him. “So you’re with the caterers?”

“It’s my business,” you informed nonchalantly, gesturing inside back at the party. “I’m just here to oversee,” you informed.

He nodded toward you. “Ah. Well the food is exceptional. Your recipes?”

“Every last one,” you answered. “Can’t say that I’ve seen you eat them though,” you noted.

“I’m good like that. I get the job done and no one’s the wiser,” he said with a wink before taking another drag.

“Ah, I see.”

Just as you were about to ask about his name, and introduce yourself, Sophia, one of the young actresses ran out onto the patio and grabbed his sleeve and began tugging.

“Come on! We’re about to watch the trailer together! Come on!” she encouraged excitedly.

He laughed lightly at her enthusiasm. “Alright, alright, let me put this out,” he said before taking another hit then throwing it on the patio and snuffing out any flame with his shoe. He gave you a polite apology smile, due to the over excited cast member and you nodded and shrugged, waving it off. “Nice to see you,” he said as he was drug inside the house.

You gave a small wave before finishing your cigarette and joining the others back in the living room. You found your way to the back, standing in the doorway of the kitchen, your eyes on the huge tv, watching the trailer for the first time.

The footage rolled and you couldn’t help but still be creeped out by the clown. On set he was much more menacing looking than on screen. But the trailer itself seemed to scare you, enough that you felt jumpy the rest of the evening. As soon as the footage ended, the guests cheered and roared, grabbing each other for hugs or high fives. You smiled at the lot of them and the work they’d done.

It was around midnight and the food was low, but no one was really eating any more, mainly drinking. The team started to pack up the food and trays, while your two bartenders stayed hard at work.

“I’m gonna go home,” you informed Ida, to which she nodded.

The mystery man continued to fade in and out of your view all evening but you didn’t speak to him any further. You left when you didn’t see him, escaping into your car and driving home, to meet a sleeping Jeremy who hadn’t made dinner and left the dishes in the sink, unwashed. You got angry for a moment, but then took a deep breath, trying to remember that maybe he was tired and needed a break. Then you headed for bed, knowing you’d have to get up early to deal with the dishes.

#unexpected guest #bill skarsgard #bill skarsgård x reader #bill skarsgard x reader #bill skarsgard fic

[365-money-diary]

days 63-69

day sixty-three [mar. 5]

8:00 am - Notice my tax refund has hit +$1213! Make a chemex. Try to be chill for this am’s call. It’s kind of a big one.

10:00 am - Well it went really well. I was asked to be a decisionmaker on the call so that’s a nice boost to my ego. Eat the final piece of pineapple pie to celebrate / also just to eat breakfast.

2:00 pm - I have a giant monthly report that I’m delivering next week, so I get started on that. I get ¼ of the way done and decide to cut work early to exercise. 

5:30 pm - We try to order from Monroe’s – the hot chicken place I picked up food from for M’s birthday but it’s closed / not taking online orders. We decide to get Cornish Pasty instead. K gets a veggie Mexican and I get the vegan Guinness stew. We also share an order of oven chips with garlic & jalapeno. K pays for this one.

8:30 pm - I am so so full. I have a phone date tonight with C - I think in my last diary I referred to him as BFF? Either way, he’s moved to Seattle and we chat probably every month or so for a few hours. I am feeling so so full from pasty that I take a really long walk to settle my stomach. I walk to the lake and then across and down to campus. At some point I stop to buy a water from a vending machine but it gives me a Dr. Pepper. Find a different one and buy a water instead. $4.25

11:30 pm - Realize I need to go to bed and let C go.

day sixty-three total: $0

day sixty-four

8:30 am - Wake up and make a chemex. Read a few chapters of The Guest List and start to move all of the furniture in the living room into the center of the room for the trim. Spend the next hour cleaning/prepping while K walks to the lake.

11:00 am - Last time I did the kitchen my quads were so sore so I decide to do a pure barre class prior to starting knowing that I’ll be way too sore tomorrow.

12:30 pm - K and I are determined to get this hot chicken. We place an order at the downtown location and I go over there to pick it up. We both get vegans - extra hot + hot + fries + 2 orders of pickles. $48.18

3:00 pm - Finally start taping the living room.

6:45 pm - That took 400 years. Start the first layer of paint.

9:45 pm - Second layer of paint.

11:45 pm - Eat some chips and salsa. Manage to bolt the door closed and head to bed. What a day.

day sixty-four total: $48.18

day sixty-five

8:45 am - Wow my legs. I am so so sore. I want to try to get the living room put back together as soon as possible so I don’t delay in making my coffee and ripping up tape. 

11:00 am - Why does this take 800 years? It’s not fair. Make us tofu/egg tacos for breakfast with low carb tortillas.

12:00 pm - K helps me put the room back together. We really take our time sweeping and dusting and even going through all of our things. He is a big help! 

2:30 pm - The living room is put back together! Rejoice.

3:30 pm - K and I go hit golf balls. We both do a lot better than the first time we went out and have a lot of fun. He pays for the bucket of balls.

5:00 pm - Toss beans in the instant pot.

6:00 pm - Pour a glass of wine and meet with K’s family on zoom.

7:30 pm - Big burritos for din with beans, rice, lettuce, cheeze, & jackfruit with chips and salsa.

8:00 pm - idk what’s up with me but i am in a huge snacky mood. Eat chocolate and a few spoonfuls of peanut butter. 

9:00 pm - K walks to the lake and I start scoping out clothes/sales again. I have a $100 gift card from Everlane for Christmas from K’s parents and decide to use that. I buy 2 dresses and a pair of pants. ($18.27) I also stumble across a pair of boots that are just beautiful. I want them so badly but they’re made of leather. I scope out Poshmark and find a pair in my size and they’re ACTUALLY used and in my size. They’re listed for $80 and I offer $70. The seller accepts ($83.12) $101.39

day sixty-five total: $101.39

day sixty-six

8:00 am - I am so sore still. Ugh. Pure barre charge comes thru. $15

10:00 am - Officially done with pie for breakfast so I eat yogurt instead. 

12:00 pm - Finish the last of the BBQ chicken salad for lunch. Continue my shopping adventures and find a pair of mules from Madewell on Poshmark. Offer $50 and it’s accepted. $61.50

4:00 pm - I’m still pretty sore but I stretch out a bit and do a pure barre livestream. 

5:30 pm - The weather is really nice out and so I decide to read on the porch. It doesn’t take long before K asks me to come with him to his office so he can clean out his stuff. Background: he was furloughed in August and the place he works isn’t renewing the lease. 

7:00 pm - We arrive home. I think K feels defeated. I kinda do too.. Feels like the end of an era. He isn’t up for dinner. I heat up some pozole for myself.

8:00 pm - K decides to go for a walk and I want to finish Season 21 of The Challenge (Rivals) so I stay home. Make a rum drink with soda water, a tiny agave squeeze and some limes. It’s very good.

day sixty-six total: $76.50

day sixty-seven

7:45 am - up early today. I have a meeting at 8:30 today to pull some data/talk about KPIs for the project I’ve been put in “decision-maker status” for. The meeting goes well and I feel good about the data alignment.

9:30 am - I get sent a zoom link without any warning. I tell them to give me a minute so I can pee and heat up my coffee. On my way to the kitchen I knock over a glass and it shatters EVERYWHERE. I take a few minutes to clean it up and forget to pee.

10:45 am - run to the restroom. K asks me to join him in the spare room where his “office” is. I work on reporting for a while in there. Eat plant yogurt.

12:30 pm - i wait too long to eat and am feeling overwhelmed and stressed. K rubs my back and helps me clean the kitchen. I swear these dishes never end.

1:15 pm - i have to pee again and this time it burns. Fuck fuck fuck. Not sure if it’s yeast or urinary tract but either one can’t be good. I pay some more attention to my body and realize that i can feel my bladder swelling which means i’m in uti territory. I have a super sensitive bladder and this puts me in a panic. Change my underwear, dig through my supplies and find a test strip, and AZO. Pound a bunch of water to keep things moving. 

1:45 pm - Fears are realized. At home UTI test comes back positive. I am able to land a prescription very quickly through undisclosed sources. In the meantime, I take AZO for my symptoms and advil for my bladder inflammation.

5:45 pm - Finish working for the day and all I want is a glass of wine but I know that will fuck up my urinary tract even more. Stick to water and such. Decide not to work out tonight either given I don’t have the antibiotics yet and any agitation to my bladder will harm my current state.

6:15 pm - Roast potatoes in the oven and the text from CVS comes that my prescription is ready. Roll on over to pick it up. $1.02

7:00 pm - Buffalo chicken sandwiches is the vibe for dinner. Continue drinking water, take more AZO. 

day sixty-seven total: $1.02

day sixty-eight

8:00 am - wake up feeling like my body did some solid healing work. Make a chemex and QA some stuff for a 9:30 meeting where I have to present.

11:00 am - plant yogurt. Definitely feeling a lot better today already AND my calendar is clear for work aka def going to work out before 5. 

11:45 am - Buy vitamin D on amazon but it’s free since I have the gift card from my boss. Eat leftover cauliflower fried rice for lunch.

3:00 pm - work is actually slow today and my urinary tract is feeling on the mend. Take a barre class recording and shower all before 4 PM.

6:00 pm - tonight we’re doing leftover big burritos with roasted potatoes. We’re out of tortilla chips and honestly dipping the potatoes in salsa is pretty dope.

8:00 pm - i kinda ease in and out of feelin’ tired. Read some of The Guest List before turning in.

day sixty-eight total: $0

day sixty-nine

8:00 am - wake up feeling again like i was in a deep deep healing mode sleep. Make coffee and get to work.

11:30 am - make pad thai for lunch.

2:30 pm - try on all of my clothes that came from ann taylor/loft plus the boss boot shoes from poshmark. Everything fits really well and I’m happy I took the plunge to figure out what my new sizes actually are. I am still really self conscious of my belly… it’s like a ledge and i really don’t get it because i am otherwise very thin. It could be a hormone thing or it could be a gut thing but i decide to try to tackle both at once. Vitamin d and zinc for horomones (which I already have on hand) i do some research and find a supplement from hum nutrition to try and decide to start taking ACV shots to see if anything changes. $25.45

4:50 pm - do a pure barre live stream recording. Shower and eat too many snacks.

7:00 pm - start a new season of the challenge while k goes to hit golf balls. Upon his return I make him a burrito with potatoes and myself some leftover pozole.

11:00 pm - finish the guest list. Didn’t see the ending coming at all! Get some sleep for vaccine #2 tomorrow.

day sixty-nine total: $25.45

[thestaffofgrayson]

1-100 for the unusual asks, you meme lord

Mmmmkay so I cant help being sassy but also wanna give a real answer so we gonna do this -> Anything in parenthesis is a real answer everything else is sass central station

1) Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora?  Im a dank soundcloud rapper check out my soundcloud at nobodycares540.soundcloud.fuck (I dont really use any of em tbh)

2) is your room messy or clean? *glances over* clean (m e s s y)

3) what color are your eyes? All 16 of em are different colors actually (blue)

4) do you like your name? why? No because its not Jojo (Yes!!! Love the name Perrin gonna be honest)

5) what is your relationship status? *sets status to its complicated* you could say im a bit of a player (deathly single)

6) describe your personality in 3 words or less? Im sorry who? (Described meme lord)

7) what color hair do you have? Minecraft Steve Brown (Ver Ver Pink)

8) what kind of car do you drive? color? No I run like sonic next question (nope fuck driving fuck boulder)

9) where do you shop? Uuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh (For what Next question)

10) how would you describe your style? Goku Black cosplay (Goku Black cosplay)

11) favorite social media account? The one with the Z U C C (Tumblr fuck snapchat)

12) what size bed do you have?  Uuuummmmmmm my size OBVIOUSLY next questions (Dont know tbh queen maybe?)

13) any siblings? Little shit brother (thats not even a joke)

14) if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?  Why this world fuck you what about mars (uuuuhhhhhh no idea gonna be honest)

15) favorite snapchat filter? Oh man! Love this one altho its not well known what ya gotta do is hit the delete button and when it asks if youre sure say yes :D (they change so often I dont pay attention)

16) favorite makeup brand(s)? Whatever it is Genji uses as eyeliner (dooont wear makeup)

17) how many times a week do you shower? I get clean by rolling around in the snow so maybe like 3 times a year (depends usually once a day with exceptions)

18) favorite tv show? I dont watch tv I AM the tv (The Office or if its Anime then Jojos Bizarre Adventure)

19) shoe size? M Y   S I Z E (size 10)

20) how tall are you?  hOWs ThE wEaTHEr dOwnTHeRe (5′9 - 5′11 somewhere in there)

21) sandals or sneakers? Gadget Shoes (legit those are cool but sneakers)

22) do you go to the gym? I think theeessseeee muscles speak for themselves (nope but I do martial arts)

23) describe your dream date  Killing all mortals and achieving a state beyond that of a god (iiiii dont know I dont really see myself going on a date)

24) how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? Why do YOU wanna know (no really why tho)

25) what color socks are you wearing? Well I’m at home on the sofa playing sonic the hedgehog and typing up responses to an ask on tumblr that about 5 people are gonna see. That being said, Dragon Ball orange. (not wearing em but I have a fuzzy pair of polar bear socks my friend Ana sent me that I love!)

26) how many pillows do you sleep with? Wait what do you mean not everyone sleeps with 25 pillows are they mad? (One for my head, one on each side, smol pillow, pillow pet)

27) do you have a job? what do you do? I am assistant regional manager at a paper supply company named Dunder Mifflin. (Not currently but I’m gonna apply to Gamestop and Costco here soon)

28) how many friends do you have? Toooooooooooooo many I hate mortals (honestly I’m too lazy to try and count rn)

29) whats the worst thing you have ever done? Well I haven’t seen Mulan don’t call the cops (Iiiiiiii’m not sure I guess cheated on my Chinese final freshman year but hey I needed to pass that)

30) whats your favorite candle scent? V o i d  (I dont use candles that much and I shooouuulld)

31) 3 favorite boy names Jo[seph] Jo[estar], Jo[taro Ku]jo, Jo[nathan] Jo[estar]  (uuuuhhhh I like my name so it would be Perrin, Joji, Donovan)

32) 3 favorite girl names Jolyne Kujo there is no 2 and 3 (Jolyne yes I know but I actually really like the name, Perrin is also a girls name so, Milly)

33) favorite actor? Shrek from Shrek the musical (Robert Downey Jr and Chris pratt)

34) favorite actress? Taylor after she sasses me and acts like nothing happened (Millie Bobby Brown)

35) who is your celebrity crush? McCree (Matt Mercer)

36) favorite movie? UM IS THIS A QUESTION LIKE??? OBVIOUSLY THE SHREK AND BEE MOVIE CROSS OVER SHREK B: HONEY AND SWAMPS (I LOVED Black Panther and Thor Ragnarok but Secret Life of Walter Mitty’s stuck with me for a loooong time)

37) do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? I don’t read cuz I’m not a NERD (I mean actual books I don’t ask me about it another time but comics I sure do I love the Marvel Civil War storyline)

38) money or brains? They say Money can’t buy happiness but it can buy me more games! Eat that SUCKERS (Honestly brains because then you can be smart which can make you a lot of money. So many more benefits)

39) do you have a nickname? what is it? Perriushium, destroyer of life and bringer of the new age (Pey given to me by my brother when he was still a baby and couldn’t say my name)

40) how many times have you been to the hospital? Enough to be immune to every disease known to man NOW IM UNSTOPABLE MWAHAHA (none for any of my own conditions or injuries but for family stuff about twice)

41) top 10 favorite songs All Star, All Star, All Star, Chum Drum Bedrum, All Star, All Star, All Star, Never gonna give you up, All Star, All Star (Bloody Stream, Sono Chi no Sadame, Flying Battery Zone, Stardust Speedway, Stand Proud, Goku Black theme, Halo theme, The Apparition, Shovel Knight main theme, Hooked on a Feeling)

42) do you take any medications daily? I take a shot of cold hard whiskey when I get up (nope I dont have anything)

43) what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) The largest organ of my body I’ll tell ya that much (I honestly dont know?? Smooth and soft I guess?)

44) what is your biggest fear? The Communists lol jk Communism is the only way (I’m not so sure on this one gonna be honest I do fear something I just cant think of it at the moment)

45) how many kids do you want? I mean I’m a 16 year old teenager in high school with no job and no relationship that being said 5 (NONE EVER NOPE 0 KIDS)

46) whats your go to hair style? Super Saiyan 3 (Idk I just kinda comb it to the left)

47) what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) All Star. Wait fuck wrong quest- (Two floor medium sized house) 

48) who is your role model?  Uuuuuuuuhhhhhh (uuuuuhhhhhhhhhh)

49) what was the last compliment you received? A like on my post we did it guys we hit one like so I’m here making this 1 like special (I was told that everytime my friend see’s my dyed hair it absolutely makes his day :D) 

50) what was the last text you sent? Yeah that’ll be $5000 for the kill nice doing business with you (Maaaannny pictures of Genji Shimada)

51) how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? WHAT SANTA ISNT REAL????!!!!!?!?!?! (It kinda faded over the years my last strands of belief were gone by 12)

52) what is your dream car? Odie’s car from Garfield Kart (The Mach 5 from speed racer there’s a street legal car look it up)

53) opinion on smoking? Jotaro does it so I do it too (PSA: Smoking doesn’t make you cool or look cool you’re just killng your lungs. I won’t try and make you stop as long as you’re aware I don’t want you smoking around me and you understand the consequences)

54) do you go to college? After that SAT I meeeaaaaannnn McDonalds might be hiring (I’m still in High School but I want to)

55) what is your dream job? To stand in a corner for 8 hours with a lamp shade over my head and make a clicking sound every so often (I would like to be able to draw, animate, design and/or play games for a living. Achievement Hunter would be a fantastic job but I doubt that’s happening)

56) would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? I wanna live in a cloud In the sky and abduct people to harvest their DNA and make clones which I can fight to the death with (eh somewhere quiet and disconnected from people tbh)

57) do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? They fetch pretty high prices on eBay you’d be surprised (Nope I dont use them at all I bring my own and take my own)

58) do you have freckles? My face is a giant freckle little known fact (not really thank god I would look real bad with em)

59) do you smile for pictures? *leans in* I’m gonna let ya in on a secret kid. I wait until the photographer is just about to take the picture and then I hold a middle finger over my face to block the proper shot. Do it enough times then they’ll be payin YOU to get the picture done (I do but I only open my mouth slightly)

60) how many pictures do you have on your phone? They’re all of people I’ve killed because they showed me a stale meme dont worry about it (960 exactly and they’re all either memes, fan-art, or my cute friends)

61) have you ever peed in the woods? Ew no I don’t go outdoors thanks (Yep once on a school field trip in which we hiked to the top of a mountain it was fun)

62) do you still watch cartoons? Well I mean SOME ONE spoiled my belief in Santa earlier so I’m a bit too old for that now. I have a boring desk job thanks LAZLO (I do spongebob is really funny to me still and I LOVE the original Teen Titans)

63) do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? McWendy’s next question (I dont eat either so)

64) Favorite dipping sauce? Drip dip dip I’m boutta rip please i want to die (I dont use dipping sauce either call me a heathen all you want)

65) what do you wear to bed? Well I take off the clothes I wore for the day, take off my earring, ring, necklace, eyes, hair, 3 layers of skin, and call it a night (Pajamas mostly and sometimes sweatpants)

66) have you ever won a spelling bee? *Obligatory Bee Movie Joke* (I’ve never even heard of a spelling bee in any of the schools I’ve been to)

67) what are your hobbies? Well I like to kill all mortals #ZamasuWasRight  (I enjoy martial arts, drawing, video games, game design, and walking around my house with nothing to do)

68) can you draw? UH BOI YOU DONT KNOW WHAT ART IS UNTIL YOUVE SEEN A SHITTY JOJO DRAWING OF MINE (I mean yeah but not well)

69) do you play an instrument? Electric Triangle (Actually, I play the Violin but not super well)

70) what was the last concert you saw? SORRY WHAT I CANT HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF THE CONCERT (I’ve never been to one that seems like the opposite of fun for me personally I hate hyper loud music, people, and crowds)

71) tea or coffee? Coftea next question (tea. I don’t drink caffeine if i can help it)

72) Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? I need my sugar sonic rings (Again, Don’t drink caffeine)

73) do you want to get married? I’m already getting married. MARRIED TO THE LIFE OF CRIME THAT IS UP TOP (I mean I would like to one day)

74) what is your crush’s first and last initial? My  Self (I don’t have anyone I’m crushing on)

75) are you going to change your last name when you get married? What’s crimes last name? Smigglesworth? (If my partners last name is something with an S cuz then I can be PJS)

76) what color looks best on you? You know the color mario turns when he uses the super star? T-that (Pink and Black)

77) do you miss anyone right now? PPFFFFFT NOOOOO WHATS A FEEL *CRIES* THOSE ARENT TEARS ITS JUST SWEAT IVE ANSWERED A LOT OF QUESTIONS OKAY (I miss all my internet friends :(  *cries*)

78) do you sleep with your door open or closed? It is neither open nor closed it is in a hyper dimensional state between open and closed in which no mortal can enter or exit but also cannot be blocked from passage (clooossed because otherwise the cats are gonna kill my fish)

79) do you believe in ghosts? I mean how else would I make a long and successful career as a ghost buster (I do!)

80) what is your biggest pet peeve? My pet, Peeve! Biggest one I know! (depends on for what tbh the other day a guest speaker was talking to the class and this kid was playing music in his headphones really really loud and it pissed me off)

81) last person you called? Called what? Called them a nerd? A good bean? A meme? MAKE MORE SENSE YOU ******* **** *** ******** (Well according to my phone, the name listed is “Mom”)

82) favorite ice cream flavor? I’ll ice your cream if you’re not careful (Vanilla with chocolate syrup mixed together is hella everyone GO TRY IT)

83) regular oreos or golden oreos? The fuck is a golden oreo?? (No seriously, what the actual is a golden oreo)

84) chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? *mario invincible star song plays as I flash color and dash down rainbow road* I’ll have to think about it (rainboooowww!)

85) what shirt are you wearing? Well I…. You see… The thing is…. excuse me for one second (yeah I can’t think of sass to this one but my favorite shirt! Sonic mania that my friend Tasha bought for me and I love it!!!)

86) what is your phone background?  RYUJIN NO KEN WO KURAE!! “What do you think of this color? Is it not beautiful?” If you dont know those HOW DARE YOU LEARN THEM AND WE ARE WATCHING DRAGON BALL (Genji lock screen and Goku Black home screen)

87) are you outgoing or shy? Does THIS answer your question >:D (Outgoing when I want to be, but I’m antisocial so it’s like I CAN be outgoing and personable but it’s highly on my terms ya feel?)

88) do you like it when people play with your hair? My hair is a pride to my race the Saiyans hair is a sacred thing I will advise you not to touch it (YYYEEESSSS I LOVE IT WHEN PEOPLE DO THAT BUT THAT HARDLY EVER HAPPENS)

89) do you like your neighbors?  …..the what? Never heard of it before is that a type of appliance? (I mean they’re chill we don’t interact a lot which I’m cool with)

90) do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? Nothin can cure this ugly face fest of spring 2018 (I use face wash when I shower which is typically right after school not sure why it matters but there ya go :V)

91) have you ever been high? “I’m high on LIFE maaaannn” -Incorrect Shaggy quotes (N o p e  never have don’t plan on it)

92) have you ever been drunk? shots ShotS SHOTS SHOTSSHOTSHOTS (nope but I will one day maybe in College years)

93) last thing you ate? The shattering realization that my friends will keep saying OWO to me every chance they get (Pancakes! asked for french toast but I loooove the breakfast food so no complaints)

94) favorite lyrics right now someBODY Once Told Me The World Is Gonna Roll Me… (The lyrics to Bloody Stream dude it’s a  g r e a t  op)

95) summer or winter? Sorry I’m on Mars weather its ZXAR right now (eeehhhh winter cuz then I have an excuse to be inside and it’s also the ski season)

96) day or night? I am the darkness. I am the night. I am BATMAN (Night honestly I’m a fan of the darkness)

97) dark, milk, or white chocolate? Plllleeeeaaase its like asking if you’re heart is pure of evil or not. Dark Chocolate is a sin (Milk chocolate is the best chocolate fight me on that)

98) favorite month? See, some may argue for their birthday months, christmas, new beginnings to the year, but I say there’s only ONE spooky time :3 (Altho I’m one of the fools that’s gonna have to go with March because it usually has my favorite kind of weather for where I live)

99) what is your zodiac sign  I refuse to go by Zodiac signs until Ted Cruz is proven to be the Zodiac Kill————–”OLD MEME ALERT THIS IS THE MEME POLICE”   “I AINT GOIN BACK TO JAIL”  (Cancer! I wear a necklace of my sign all the time fun fact for ya)

100) who was the last person you cried in front of?  Me after writing all these (Don’t know actually I try not to cry in front of people ever)

#Perrin answers #Thanks for the ask! #About me

[chaoticghost21]

1-100

Oh shit, that's all of them. Ya know what, its midnight and I'm really fuckin stoned let's do this motherfuckers1. What is you middle name?Cheyann2. How old are you?18 (19 in less than a month)3. When is your birthday?April 22 4. What is your zodiac sign?Taurus but on the cusp of aries and Taurus 5. What is your favorite color?Probably blue or purple 6. What’s your lucky number?217. Do you have any pets?5 dogs8. Where are you from?Oregon in the us9. How tall are you?5'510. What shoe size are you?10 in women's11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?9 i think but they all have holes in then and are ratty (other than my vans and my brown boots that are technically my mom's but they're mine now) so i really only wear one pair of converse12. What was your last dream about?All Time Low broke up and I had a meltdown public. like in this dream i fell to the ground screaming no and i was in public then yelled that this day was worse than March 2213. What talents do you have?I can draw, paint, bake, craft, play flute, sing, write, and compose music14. Are you psychic in any way?Possibly, I've definitely had some moments but idk15. Favorite song?THIS IS THE HARDEST QUESTION EVER. FAVORITE SONG IN GENERAL? RIGHT NOW? WHAT? HOW DO I ANSWER??? UMMMM SUMMER STAINED BY BROADSIDE BECAUSE ITS BEAUTIFUL AND I LOVE IT16. Favorite movie?Either The Lovely Bones or The Perks of Being a Wallflower17. Who would be your ideal partner?I have no idea but can they be respectful, nice, have musical ability, and a good sense of humor please?18. Do you want children?Yes but I want to adopt19. Do you want a church wedding?No20. Are you religious?Nope21. Have you ever been to the hospital?Yes, many times, sadly22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?Yes, when I was little me, my older cousins, and their friends got yelled at by cops for not having bike helmets but me being me I said I didn't actually live anywhere around there and my helmet was at home and this wasnt my bike (all true) so the cops let me go back to my aunts house while they continued to yell at the other kids23. Have you ever met any celebrities?Yeah, I met Tim, the bass from Home Free24. Baths or showers?Showers 25. What color socks are you wearing?They are Gryffindor colors26. Have you ever been famous?No but I've been on the news many times (i wanna be famous though)27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?Yes, i would love to be because i wanna hello people with my music the way music helped me 28. What type of music do you like?Like rock and any subgenre of rock (pop punk, punk, alternative, metal, post hardcore, etc)29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?Nope30. How many pillows do you sleep with?4 because that's all i have, sadly 31. What position do you usually sleep in?On my right side32. How big is your house?Small. We have 3 rooms but they're all small with tiny bathrooms, tiny kitchen, and tiny living room. I hate that all i have in my room is a queen size mattress and I barely have room for anything else33. What do you typically have for breakfast?Nothing34. Have you ever fired a gun?Yes, a few times35. Have you ever tried archery?No, i was offered the chance but i was too pissed off at the person to take them up on their offer36. Favorite clean word?POMEGRANATE37. Favorite swear word?Either motherfucker, asshat, or shitass38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?Over a week39. Do you have any scars?Yeah, on my hand, legs, and belly button (hand: idk, i accidentally stabbed a pair of scissors into my hand while craftingLegs: I'm really jumpy and someone threw a remote past me to someome else and i was sitting on the arm of the couch and fell off when i flinched and landed into 2 plastic storage boxes 40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?No, people don't like me that much41. Are you a good liar?Yep, I've lied a lot in my life and no one knows 42. Are you a good judge of character?Sometimes43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?When I talk a lot I accidentally go into an Australian accent and I don't know why or how. I can also do a southern and British 44. Do you have a strong accent?Nah dude, pacific west coast, we don't got that much of one45. What is your favorite accent?AUSTRALIAN OR IRISH46. What is your personality type?idk my dude 47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?My prom dress from 3 years ago 48. Can you curl your tongue?Nope49. Are you an innie or an outie?Innie50. Left or right handed?Right51. Are you scared of spiders?Terrified52. Favorite food?Pizza or teriyaki chicken53. Favorite foreign food?If what I get at my local sushi place is considered foreign then that54. Are you a clean or messy person?Messy. I'm so cluttered and scattered its not even funny55. Most used phrased?I'm gonna play this song 56. Most used word?Fuck57. How long does it take for you to get ready?15 minutes without makeup or making my hair look nice anywhere from an hour to 2 of I wear makeup and make my hair look nice58. Do you have much of an ego?No, I pretend to though. Fake confidence helps me59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?Suck but sometimes I get bored and decide to cronch60. Do you talk to yourself?Yes, I sometimes need expert advice and no one else I know is smart enough to give it to me (aka what I say to assholes who mock me for talking to myself lol)61. Do you sing to yourself?ALWAYS. I sing without knowing62. Are you a good singer?I think so, I meann that's what I wanna nake a career out of so I hope I am63. Biggest Fear?Dying without making an impact or difference in the world or not accomplishing my dreams64. Are you a gossip?No, unless you screw me over65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?Idk whats considered drama, other than Disney movies, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, The Lovely Bones, and Tolkien movie, and a few others I really only watch horror movies66. Do you like long or short hair?Looonnggg (I cut my hair short when I was little and it never grew back the same and I hate it)67. Can you name all 50 states of America?I think so but don't ask me ANYTHING about capitals 68. Favorite school subject?Music69. Extrovert or Introvert?An extroverted introvert ( I'm pretty introverted but it really depends on my mood)70. Have you ever been scuba diving?Nope71. What makes you nervous?Everything72. Are you scared of the dark?Yes73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?Sometimes74. Are you ticklish?VERY75. Have you ever started a rumor?No76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?No unless you count me being the leader of my choir, the flute section, and my old friend grouo77. Have you ever drank underage?Yeah which is how we found out I'm allergic to alcohol78. Have you ever done drugs?If marijuana counts then yes (I'm under the influence right now)79. Who was your first real crush?No one, I've never actually has one80. How many piercings do you have?None81. Can you roll your Rs?“No82. How fast can you type?Idk, pretty fast though (taking typing classes all elementary school helped that. They got tired of us so they made us do Mavis Beacon so they could get away from us and not have to teach us)83. How fast can you run?Not very, I have shitty knees and can barely walk (not a joke)84. What color is your hair?Really faded red but will be bright blue soon85. What color is your eyes?Green86. What are you allergic to?A LOT. Cats, alcohol, dairy products (lactose intolerant), pollen, like 5 different kinds of weeds, grass, a little bit to dogs, i think I'm a little bit to weed, bed bugs, dust, mold, flea shampoo, and I think that's it87. Do you keep a journal?No88. What do your parents do?Watch TV and smoke weed89. Do you like your age?Eh not really I'm almost 19 and haven't accomplished anything, no job, can't drive, still in high school90. What makes you angry?Many many things. Disrespect of any form is the biggest one though91. Do you like your own name?Eh, its okay. My mom told me the other name she had picked out for me and I wish she would've gone with that one (Kassadee Cheyann or Devyn Taylor... I'm emo as hell and seem slowly becoming more punk. Devyn would've fit me wayyy better)92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?I've thought of a few. I've always had either Ansley, Quinn, Spencer, or Talia for a girl and Jayden or Jace for a boy or Ash for any because I've always liked that name (fun fact I used to go by Ash or Ashton when I was questioning gender in high school [gender fluid] so my friends called me that)93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?Any, I don't really care. Gender doesn't matter to me at all94. What are you strengths?Imma copy and paste from my resume lol...Back from my resume and this is what it said: Dexterity, public performance, customer service, directing, leading, persistence, competitiveness, creativity, sound discrimination, listening, and writing95. What are your weaknesses?I'm afraid of everything, I'm very paranoid, and I have anxiety and depression96. How did you get your name?There was some character on a TV show my mom saw while pregnant whos name was Cassidy but my mom wanted a better spelling 97. Were your ancestors royalty?Doubt it98. Do you have any scars?Yes... This was also #3999. Color of your bedspread?BLACK100. Color of your room?White. My room is boring and I've never done any decoration in it.DONE. I DIDN'T REALIZE THIS TOOK ALMOAT AN HOUR HOLY SHIT

[chloe-elizabeth-price]

0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 16 17 18 20 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 37 38 40 41 42 43 and 44

Wow, almost all of them, huh, @annoyinglyuniquebread? I’ll put it under a read-more as to not hit everyone with walls of text but read if ya feel like it…Okay, here we go!

0. Height 

I’m 5′1 just like Carrie Fisher/Princess Leia!

1. Age

I’m 21, but my birthday is in February so pretty soon I’ll be feelin’ 22! *Dances horrendously*

2. Shoe Size

 I’m a 5 in US sizes I think…?

3. Do you smoke?

I do not

4. Do you drink?

Well yes, it’s important to stay hydrated kids, my drink of choice is coke or tea…But I assume this is asking if I drink alcohol which I do not do

5. Do you take drugs?

Once again I assume this is referring to illegal drugs and not meds, I do not do any of those. However I do take antidepressants and sleeping pills for my anxiety-related insomnia/the occasional anxiety-suppressor.

6. Age you get mistaken for?

As I’m pretty short and thin (+ you tend to look smaller in a wheelchair which i occasionally use) I’d say people tend to assume I’m a lot younger than I am. If asked my age most people tend to guess around 15, or at least they did when I was in my late teens, no one has guessed my age in a while so maybe i look older these days? idk lol

7. Have tattoos?

I do have a tiny lightening bolt on my wrist, it’s a Harry Potter reference/a symbol for my general love of stories.

8: Want any tattoos?

I do definitely want more tattoos in the future, I haven’t really decided on placements yet but I know that I want a Buffy-B (a B in the Btvs-font) on my other wrist so that my two fandom tattoos can match in placements. I also want a fox somewhere and “fearless” in Taylor Swift’s handwriting to remind me of her brilliant definition of the word: (”To me, fearless is not the absence of fear. It’s not being completely unafraid. To me, fearless is having fears. fearless is having doubts. Lots of them. To me, fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death.”)   which I think will help with my anxiety. Those are a few of the tattoos I know that I want to get at some point, but there’s always room for more options since I really like the idea of a lot of tattoos!

9: Got any piercings?

Nope, not even pierced ears

10: Want any piercings?

Not really, no

11: Best friend?

@gay-grandma

12: Relationship status?

Single, sapphic and sad

13: Biggest turn ons?

As far as personality and little things go I’d say people who listen and respect my opinions and my view of a situation, but also aren’t afraid to say what they think/voice their opinions I guess. Also like, when people are genuine with their affection and you can tell that they just genuinely care for you I guess? Geez this sounds cheesy! As for physically, I’m gonna say collarbones…Is that weird? I feel like that’s weird…Not necessarily seeing collar bones (malnutrition isn’t sexy, kids!) but just like biting or kissing them I don’t even know! Maybe I have a few kinks too, but this is already officially TMI and I’m gonna stop………..   

14: Biggest turn offs?

Bigoted or small-minded people honestly, nope not gonna interact!

16: I’ll love you if…

You respect me, seduce me with your nerdiness and/or let me introduce you to nerdy stuff (Movies/shows/books/games etc) I like and most importantly, genuinely seem to like me tbh, I don’t ask for much…

17: Someone you miss

I live pretty far away from my family for school so I find myself almost constantly missing them and my dog :( Also you and your stupidly pretty face, @annoyinglyuniquebread I can’t believe it’s gonna be so long until I get to see you!

18: Most traumatic experience?

Probably something emotionally abusive at the hands of my biological dad or his wife but honestly I’ve repressed most of it and I don’t really wanna talk about that sooooo………*shudders* Anywayyyy

20: What I hate most about myself?

Too many things to list to be honest. I’m not trying to sound negative, but I do have a lot of issues when it comes to how I view myself, but I am working on them and am hoping to be getting to a place where I can honestly say that I don’t think I suck in the near future, wish me luck!

22: What I want to be when I get older?

Author! I wanna write, write write! If ONE kid picks up a book I’ve written and it helps them in any way at all or sparks that love of stories in them that has become my own driving force, then my goal in life has been achieved!

23: My relationship with my sibling(s)

Okay, so I have 4 siblings, two older sisters and two younger brothers. My relationship to my sisters are pretty much your standard sibling-situation, we grew up together and occasionally we wanted to murder each other, but most of the time we got along and now as adults we’re all pretty close even though I live far away. My brothers are a more complicated situation, due to my nonexistent relationship with my biological father I haven’t actually seen my little bros in years, I hope that we’ll be able to have some type of relationship one day, but as long as they live with dad I don’t see that as possible, although I love them and would love to be a proper big sib to them someday!

24: My relationship with my parent(s)

My mom is absolutely one of the most important people in my life, I love spending time with her and she’s the one I go to first if any problem, big or small arises in my life, we’ve always been extremely close and she’s quite simply my best friend. My step-dad (who I tend to refer to as dad most of the time) has been in my life since I was 4 and he’s more of a father to me than my biological dad (who i don’t even view as my ‘dad’ at all) ever was or could ever be. I love him with all my heart, he’s the best and one of the funniest people I know! I’d say generally I’m very, very close to both of my parents and they’re both extremely important to me and here I am getting sappy at 2AM. 

25: My idea of a perfect date

Movie/Show marathon and cuddling with snacks tbh

26: My biggest pet peeves

When the cover/general appearance of a book on my shelf doesn’t match what the rest of the books in that series look like…All my books have to match if they’re part of the same series or I freak the fuck out honestly! That’s really the only pet peeve I can think of at the moment.

27: A description of the girl/boy I like

I kinda really like @annoyinglyuniquebread but don’t tell her, it’d just get to her pretty head and she’d probably tease me about it and I’m shy!

28: A description of the person I dislike the most

Wow, has someone told the oversized cheeto running America that he has a giant dead cat on his head yet orrrrr…?

29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend?

I can’t think of a specific situation in which I’ve done this just now, but chances are if you’re my friend I’ve probably lied to you and told you I was sick so I wouldn’t have to hang out with you that day, it’s not that I don’t WANNA hang out, I love you I promise…it’s just my very awkward introverted ass not being sure how to tell you that I need to reschedule because my social battery is drained and that I am going to physically explode if I have to be around humans for the next few days, without sounding like a hermit and/or hurting your feelings soooo…Yeah, sorry about that!

30: What I hate the most about work/school?

That it ruins the fun of learning with all those deadlines and gives me performance anxiety about stuff I’d normally be good at/comfortable with doing…

31: What my last text message says?

“Night, I love you

32: What words upset me the most?

Any type of uninformed, ignorant hate speech, when someone is being bigoted in my presence it always makes me feel like I want to scream and/or cry 

33: What words make me feel the best about myself?

When people compliment my hair, clothes or writing it really makes my day every time without fail! Also when people use my chosen name and pronoun it makes me feel like I could take on the whole world on my own and win, so thank you SO much to everyone in my life who make an effort to do that every day!!

34: What I find attractive in women?

Um, everything about them, i mean have you SEEN girls??? I love being a lesbian; ladies, you’re all so beautiful I wanna squeal just thinking about it!

35: What I find attractive in men?

Them being Harrison Ford. If you are male, but not Mr. Ford I’m sorry but I’m simply not attracted to you at all and won’t date you. Sorry men, I don’t make the rules. However, if you’re reading this, Harrison from ca 1980 (why would you be?) hit me up!

37: One of my insecurities?

Too many to list again, but like I said, I am working on that! 

38: My childhood career choice

Author, not much has changed, huh? I’ve actually known what I want to be since I was like 5.

40: Who I wish I could be?

A happier, more secure version of myself…Or you know Han Solo/Veronica Mars/Kim Possible, that works too!

41: Where I want to be right now?

Right at this moment I’m pretty happy here under the covers in my big comfy bed listening to Taylor Swift with my laptop in my lap and answering all these questions. Even though I’m having a pretty bad case of insomnia I feel pretty content, a little hungry tho…Think I’m gonna go make noodles and finish Stranger Things when I’m done answering these! 

42: The last thing I ate

Some salted caramel chocolate a while ago, it was delicious!

43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately?

Well I’d be cheating on my wife if I didn’t say Sarah Michelle Gellar, wouldn’t I? Although there are a few other candidates as well…

44: A random fact about anything

Did you guys know that @annoyinglyuniquebread aka Bella is really cute and awesome and great at holding hands? Well, if you didn’t there’s a random fact for ya!

Wow, that sure was a lot of questions, but it was fun to answer them all! Thanks for sending them, Bella

#thanks for the ask!

[blondewolfhd]

* 199 - 1?? >:3c i fucked up on sending the last one

199: I was born in:One of the worst states ever 198: I am really: Strange?197: My cellphone company is: AT&T196: My eye color is: Blue 195: My shoe size is: 6194: My ring size is: ??193: My height is: 5′5192: I am allergic to: SO MANY The one’s I remember on the top of my head are mites, black walnut, pine, and timothy grass (I’m allergic to like 6 grasses jc)191: My 1st car was: Don’t have one190: My 1st job was: Don’t have one yet189: Last book you read: Can’t remember 188: My bed is: so soft I love but I need to get two slats because they broke187: My pet: I have so many! I love all of them! There’s Ralph, Groucho, Axel, Paisley, Psycho, Josh, Pepper, Cole, Hamilton, Philip, Meowgi, Wrex, Wolf, Nikka, Ivypool, and Crowfeather. I’m fostering three animals. Two cats and one puppy!186: My best friend: S I R185: My favorite shampoo is: TRESemme Smooth and Silky 184: Xbox or ps3: PS3183: Piggy banks are: Good I guess182: In my pockets: I don’t have any I’m wearing Kenna’s pants181: On my calendar: So many birthdays (I have a bad memory)180: Marriage is: Alright179: Spongebob can: ??178: My mom: Ugh177: The last three songs I bought were? I download I don’t have any money 176: Last YouTube video watched: 1000 ways to die175: How many cousins do you have? I don’t talk to any of them ever.174: Do you have any siblings? Two both are half siblings but I never talk to one of them173: Are your parents divorced? No 172: Are you taller than your mom? Yeah171: Do you play an instrument? Not good170: What did you do yesterday? Hung with A.Ham while I recovered from my wisdom teeth surgery[ I Believe In ]169: Love at first sight: No I believe it isn’t love but attraction at first sight You can’t really love someone until you get to know them 168: Luck: Not really167: Fate: Not sure166: Yourself: Nope165: Aliens: Yea164: Heaven: Agnostic163: Hell: ^162: God:^161: Horoscopes: Iffy160: Soul mates: Iffy159: Ghosts: Yet again iffy 158: Gay Marriage: Of freaking course 157: War: Unfortunately we can’t have peace in these times because of people like trump 156: Orbs:??155: Magic: ??[ This or That ]154: Hugs or Kisses: Hugs153: Drunk or High: Never been high so152: Phone or Online: Online151: Red heads or Black haired: No pref150: Blondes or Brunettes: Brunettes149: Hot or cold: Cold148: Summer or winter: Winter147: Autumn or Spring: Autumn146: Chocolate or vanilla: Vanilla 145: Night or Day: Night144: Oranges or Apples: Apples143: Curly or Straight hair: No pref142: McDonalds or Burger King: Mocha Frappe141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: White140: Mac or PC: PC139: Flip flops or high heals: Flip flops138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: sweet 137: Coke or Pepsi: Coke136: Hillary or Obama: Obama135: Burried or cremated: Burried 134: Singing or Dancing: Singing133: Coach or Chanel: ??132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks:??131: Small town or Big city: Small town130: Wal-Mart or Target: No pref129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: Rami Malek128: Manicure or Pedicure: I hate either127: East Coast or West Coast: Idk 126: Your Birthday or Christmas: We don’t really celebrate birthdays125: Chocolate or Flowers: flowers124: Disney or Six Flags: Six Flags123: Yankees or Red Sox: Neither[ Here’s What I Think About ]122: War: It should be avoided but the orange idiot is probably gonna throw us into one soon 121: George Bush: Jet fuel can’t melt steel beammsss 120: Gay Marriage: !00% Great 10/10 119: The presidential election: I hate trump 118: Abortion: Should be 100% percent legal  Pro choice 117: MySpace: I used to have one116: Reality TV: I like Jeremy Kyle115: Parents: sigh 114: Back stabbers: Kill em 113: Ebay: Never used it112: Facebook: I hate most of the people who post on it 111: Work: Depends I really love working with animals110: My Neighbors: sigh109: Gas Prices: bad108: Designer Clothes: Never wear them 107: College: Good but expensive106: Sports: nah105: My family: oh god104: The future: OH GOd[ Last time I ]103: Hugged someone: Kenna the other day I think?102: Last time you ate: Couple minutes ago 101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: Can’t remember 100: Cried in front of someone: When I got my wisdom teeth out I didn’t know what happened and I was afraid99: Went to a movie theater: Long time ago98: Took a vacation: Long time ago 97: Swam in a pool: About a month ago 96: Changed a diaper: Back in 4th grade I think?95: Got my nails done: When I was like 894: Went to a wedding: Never93: Broke a bone: I think my finger was the last on and that was over the summer92: Got a peircing: Idk how old I was but I was young91: Broke the law: Too many 90: Texted: About 12[ MISC ]89: Who makes you laugh the most: Toss up between you and Kenna88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: Ralph87: The last movie I saw: Can’t remember86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: Reading that letter Boiii85: The thing im not looking forward to: School or these stitches falling out84: People call me: A mistake™83: The most difficult thing to do is: ?? Talk about feelings??82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: Never81: My zodiac sign is: Taurus80: The first person i talked to today was: You79: First time you had a crush: We don’t talk about my first actual crush 78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: Idk 77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: You know76: Right now I am talking to: Technically you 75: What are you going to do when you grow up: Veterinarian 74: I have/will get a job: Idk73: Tomorrow: Stop the pain in my mouth 72: Today: Hanging out with you 71: Next Summer: Idk70: Next Weekend: Idk 69: I have these pets: I have mix breed dogs, purebred pugs, cats, and rabbits68: The worst sound in the world: So many but pained screams67: The person that makes me cry the most is: idk 66: People that make you happy: Ralph 65: Last time I cried: When I got my wisdom teeth removed 64: My friends are: Great™63: My computer is: trash 62: My School: Trash 61: My Car: What one60: I lose all respect for people who: The list goes on and on (Don’t be Max and youre pretty much set)59: The movie I cried at was:So many but Marley and Me came to mind first 58: Your hair color is: Blonde57: TV shows you watch: Teen Wolf and Jeremy Kyle56: Favorite web site: Tumblr55: Your dream vacation: SNOW54: The worst pain I was ever in was: The puss pocket in my mouth 53: How do you like your steak cooked: Medium52: My room is: cold51: My favorite celebrity is: Jeremy Kyle50: Where would you like to be: Snow49: Do you want children: Nah48: Ever been in love: Sigh47: Who’s your best friend: Si r46: More guy friends or girl friends: I’m not sure45: One thing that makes you feel great is: Helping animals44: One person that you wish you could see right now: Ralph 43: Do you have a 5 year plan: Yea42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: Nah 41: Have you pre-named your children: I did a long time ago 40: Last person I got mad at: Idk 39: I would like to move to: Snow 38: I wish I was a professional: Veterinarian [ My Favorites ]37: Candy: Hershey36: Vehicle: Lexus35: President: Obama 34: State visited: DC33: Cellphone provider: AT&T32: Athlete: Don’t have one31: Actor: Rami Malek30: Actress: Holland Roden29: Singer: Jon Bellion 28: Band: BMTH27: Clothing store: Hot topic26: Grocery store: ??25: TV show: Teen Wolf24: Movie: The Guardian 23: Website: ??22: Animal: Wolf21: Theme park: Six Flags20: Holiday: Don’t really have one anymore 19: Sport to watch: Lacrosse 18: Sport to play: none17: Magazine: none16: Book: ??15: Day of the week: Saturday 14: Beach: None13: Concert attended: Haven’t12: Thing to cook: Mac n Cheese 11: Food: Mac n Cheese10: Restaurant: Steak N Shake9: Radio station: ??8: Yankee candle scent: ??7: Perfume:??6: Flower: I’m not sure5: Color: Blue, Purple, and green 4: Talk show host: Jeremy Kyle 3: Comedian: Idk 2: Dog breed: German Shepherd1: Did you answer all these truthfully? Si

#a.ham #anon #long post #moon to my stars

[jo-the-schmo]

Doing it

I'm following @whatinfreenation 's example and do all dem questions (no one cared or asked for this but imma hit you) 200: My crush’s name is: I'm lonely and scared of relationships 
199: I was born in: Dayton, Ohio (Fuck me)
198: I am really: chronically depressed and anxious 
197: My cellphone company is: AT&T
196: My eye color is: blue-gray
195: My shoe size is: Women's 5
194: My ring size is: idk people just give me them
193: My height is: 5'2 (I'm smol)
192: I am allergic to: people 
191: My 1st car was: I choose not to drive 
190: My 1st job was: babysitting except I get no money 
189: Last book you read: In Cold Blood
188: My bed is: covered in clothes
187: My pet: is many, I have many pets
186: My best friend: is a little shit
185: My favorite shampoo is: MOTHERFUCKING DOVE ORANGE BLOSSOM YAS BITCH
184: Xbox or ps3: I have an Xbox but I prefer PlayStation 
183: Piggy banks are: Cute
182: In my pockets: I'm wearing exercise pants 
181: On my calendar: I don't have one but if I did it would be empty 
180: Marriage is: Scary
179: Spongebob can: love forever
178: My mom: is a bitch (yell at me if you want)
177: The last three songs I bought were?: I use Spotify
176: Last YouTube video watched: Game Grumps play Breath of the Wild episode 33
175: How many cousins do you have?: I'm Italian I have no fucking clue, too many
174: Do you have any siblings?: Yes, I am the youngest of 5 girls
173: Are your parents divorced?: never married, I was born out of wedlock (how scandalous)
172: Are you taller than your mom?: the same height, we all short
171: Do you play an instrument?: yes! I play several!
170: What did you do yesterday?: Cried myself to sleep [ I Believe In ]
169: Love at first sight: Fuck no
168: Luck: eh
167: Fate: not really 
166: Yourself: Definitely not
165: Aliens: I mean probably 
164: Heaven: Nooo
163: Hell: I wish
162: God: I don't have religion 
161: Horoscopes: I think they're neat
160: Soul mates: Kinda?
159: Ghosts: yeah, I believe in ghosts for a lot of reasons 
158: Gay Marriage:OMFG YES I AM SO GAY AND SJEKDJEJSKKS
157: War:Is horrible, why do we have to be like this?
156: Orbs: what?
155: Magic: I wish! [ This or That ]
154: Hugs or Kisses: Hugs, last time I was kissed...it wasn't great for me
153: Drunk or High: 420!!!!
152: Phone or Online: Online
151: Red heads or Black haired: All hair, no hair, all the same for me
150: Blondes or Brunettes: whatever you want boo boo
149: Hot or cold: hot
148: Summer or winter: Summer
147: Autumn or Spring: SPRING
146: Chocolate or vanilla: Vanilla usually but chocolate is really nice 
145: Night or Day: Night
144: Oranges or Apples: Apples
143: Curly or Straight hair: I love curly hair!
142: McDonalds or Burger King: I'm trash and hungry 
141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: I just like milk in general
140: Mac or PC: ehhhhh
139: Flip flops or high heals: Heels, I like to kick people with them on
138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: I'm ugly and poor
137: Coke or Pepsi: Coke 
136: Hillary or Obama: Obama is a G
135: Burried or cremated: Idk yet 
134: Singing or Dancing: Fuck you
133: Coach or Chanel: I'm poor
132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: idek
131: Small town or Big city: Big City
130: Wal-Mart or Target: I go to Walmart but I wish it was Target
129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: who cares?
128: Manicure or Pedicure: I need short nails
127: East Coast or West Coast: MOTHERFUCKING WEST BITCJ
126: Your Birthday or Christmas: Christmas, I hate my birthday 
125: Chocolate or Flowers: Chocolate 
124: Disney or Six Flags: Disney!
123: Yankees or Red Sox: I don't do sportsball [ Here’s What I Think About ]
122: War: again, is fucking terrible
121: George Bush: Obama was cool so idec
120: Gay Marriage: IS JUST AS VALID AS STRAIGHT MARRIAGE OR MARRIAGE BETWEEN PEOPLE OF OPPOSITE SEX
119: The presidential election: was a train wreck, we should've felt the burn
118: Abortion: Needs to be legal in all states, by making it illegal we are putting more people at risk of harm 
117: MySpace: 3 old 5 me kinda
116: Reality TV: Do whatever you want TV I'm not your mama
115: Parents: my dad is cool, my mom is crazy, step mom is chill, step dad can go FUCKING DIE
114: Back stabbers: need to cease from stabbing 
113: Ebay: gets rid of my dad's crap
112: Facebook: ok I guess 
111: Work: I just wanna help people
110: My Neighbors: I don't know them
109: Gas Prices:I don't drive 
108: Designer Clothes: eh whatever
107: College: I want to go but I'm really dumb and not good at anything
106: Sports: Color Guard is my favorite sport
105: My family: is oddly chill for Roman Catholics 
104: The future: A thing I try to hope will be better [ Last time I ]
103: Hugged someone: a few days ago, I was sad
102: Last time you ate: I am eating right now
101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: today, I'm visiting my mom and 2 of my sisters
100: Cried in front of someone: A couple months ago, I don't like people seeing me cry...
99: Went to a movie theater: like 2 months ago
98: Took a vacation: 5 years ago
97: Swam in a pool: last summer
96: Changed a diaper: I help my sister babysit 
95: Got my nails done: never
94: Went to a wedding: my dad's wedding 4 years ago
93: Broke a bone: I haven't done that yet
92: Got a peircing: I'm getting one soon
91: Broke the law: I am very dank
90: Texted: 6 hours ago [ MISC ]
89: Who makes you laugh the most: my Best Friend KD
88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: my ability to cry in my room
87: The last movie I saw: A Time to Kill (I can't think about that)
86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: Possibly not feeling depressed? And finishing my fanfic!!!
85: The thing im not looking forward to: What I do after the fanfic is done
84: People call me: Jo or Mojo
83: The most difficult thing to do is: To look at yourself and tell yourself that you are worth it when you don't feel like you are
82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: nope
81: My zodiac sign is: Capricorn 
80: The first person i talked to today was: my sister May :3
79: First time you had a crush: I was like 10
78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: I can hide something from anyone I do it all the time
77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: Everyday I'm with KD, we are turning into the same person 
76: Right now I am talking to: Tayah 💜💚💜
75: What are you going to do when you grow up: I either want to be a makeup artist, drama teacher, or art teacher
74: I have/will get a job: I want to, don't know if I'll live that long hahahahahah
73: Tomorrow: might be better
72: Today: I don't like visiting my mom
71: Next Summer: I'll be with my mom
70: Next Weekend: I'll be with my mom
69: I have these pets: many dogs and cats
68: The worst sound in the world: that sound that Music stands make against smooth tile 
67: The person that makes me cry the most is:
66: People that make you happy: my Tumblr friends💜💚💜
65: Last time I cried: last night
64: My friends are: Anyone who's nice to me
63: My computer is: not mine
62: My School: Can suck my dick, Lord Travis Richardson III
61: My Car: doesn't exist 
60: I lose all respect for people who: Hurt people out of amusement 
59: The movie I cried at was: A time to Kill 
58: Your hair color is: naturally it's a light brown 
57: TV shows you watch: Sleepy Hollow
56: Favorite web site:...Tumblr...
55: Your dream vacation: Naples, Italy
54: The worst pain I was ever in was: Panic Attacks
53: How do you like your steak cooked: medium well
52: My room is: odd
51: My favorite celebrity is: DAVEED DIGGS
50: Where would you like to be: in with New York, North California or Oregon
49: Do you want children: I want to adopt
48: Ever been in love: I don't feel love
47: Who’s your best friend: KD
46: More guy friends or girl friends: It used to be guys but now they scare me
45: One thing that makes you feel great is: Makeup
44: One person that you wish you could see right now: Anyone who can help me feel better
43: Do you have a 5 year plan:
42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: No, because I can't think about dying too much ;-;
41: Have you pre-named your children: I promised my sister that if I adopted/had a baby girl her name had to be Winnrie 
40: Last person I got mad at: Myself
39: I would like to move to: anywhere but here
38: I wish I was a professional: Makeup Artist [ My Favorites ]
37: Candy: Gummy Bears :3
36: Vehicle: motorcycle 
35: President: OBAMA
34: State visited: America is weird
33: Cellphone provider: I don't care
32: Athlete: I don't follow
31: Actor: Lin Manuel-Miranda
30: Actress: PIPA SOO MY BB
29: Singer: does Daveed count?
28: Band: Queen and Black Veil Brides
27: Clothing store: Hot Topic
26: Grocery store: Jungle Jim's (it's an Ohio things)
25: TV show: SLEEPY HOLLOW
24: Movie: Tangled
23: Website: always Tumblr 
22: Animal: panther
21: Theme park: King's Island
20: Holiday: Halloween 
19: Sport to watch: WGI
18: Sport to play: MARCHING BAND
17: Magazine:History
16: Book: history text book
15: Day of the week: Thursday 
14: Beach: I don't do water
13: Concert attended: I've never been...
12: Thing to cook: Pasta!
11: Food: all food
10: Restaurant: all of them
9: Radio station: nope
8: Yankee candle scent: wedding cake 
7: Perfume: I wear Captivate
6: Flower: Bleeding Hearts an baby's breath 
5: Color: Purple and Green
4: Talk show host: Jimmy Fallon and John Oliver 
3: Comedian: Gabriel Iglesias 
2: Dog breed: Mutt Wuppy 
1: Did you answer all these truthfully? I have no reason to lie I guess ?