#idk man when music does this to me it feel like. almost divine | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

paintedlight · 3 years

Text

Supernatural Season 15 & Sufjan Stevens' “The Ascension”

Teaser: there’s a song on this album called "Die Happy” where the lyrics are just “I want to die happy” for 5 minutes and 45 seconds. yeah. yeah.

Disclaimer: yes it’s all a stretch and I’m overthinking it but also… am I? (yes)

long post time! know that reading ahead may hurt you and yes it does get worse the further down the track list you get 💕 have fun kids

So just to start off, I think it’s funny that something Sufjan’s discography & Supernatural have in common is the 15+ years of the internet arguing if it’s gay or not, and the answer ending up being yes. PLUS there’s the obvious connection of American mythos + mythology + calvinist themes (I am hissing) + religious trauma prevalent in both.

If you’re a fan of both like I am, it’s easy to connect them— notable connections being songs like “John My Beloved” and “The Owl and the Tanager” or even “John Wayne Gacy Jr.”, but I’m going to focus on Sufjan's 2020 album, “The Ascension” since even the arc itself seems so connected to season 15 of Supernatural, specifically.

At least in my head it does <3 enjoy

MAKE ME AN OFFER I CANNOT REFUSE

When interviewed about the meaning of this track, Sufjan explains that this song is about asking God, “what do you have to say for humanity?” That it’s about desperation, creation, and devastation. It’s about frustration with divinity. Also the vibes are 10/10. Need I say more

RUN AWAY WITH ME

This song is beautiful, it makes me want to sit in some grass and stare at the sky.

Some lines that make me Dean/Cas crazy are the two lines in verse 1 and verse 2 that mirror each other by being in the same place melodically:

Verse 1: they will terrorize us / with new confusion / with the fear of life that seeks to bring despair within

Verse 2: I will bring you life / a new communion / with a paradise that brings the truth to light within

Yeahhh so the words “Despair” and “The Truth” were mirrored in this song yes it was coincidental yes I’m clinging to it. It fascinates me

But this song is about begging someone to stay with you.

sweet falling remedy / come run away with me / you’re all I ever need

VIDEO GAME

My first thought when I heard this song was about how it was such a song for enneagram 4s. If you don’t know what that means, I think Dean is a 4 and wrote a post about it here.

AND @trapperjohnmcintyre also made the connection between these lyrics and Dean in this post, and honestly I don’t need to say much more than that??

The song is about feeling paranoid and angry that God is controlling your every move and you can’t escape it (aka hating the doctrine of predestination). Of course it’s also about not wanting to follow societal scripts.

You just want to have an easier life instead of the weight of good and evil resting on your back!!!

I don’t want to put the devil on a pedestal / I don’t want put the saints in chains / I just want to make my life a little easier / I don’t want to play your video game

Also these painful lines, as a treat:

I don’t want to love you if you don’t receive it / I don’t want to save the world that way

Oh, I almost forgot, also. At the end, the narrator gives up. He’s like well I guess I can’t escape. Gotta follow the procedure. Gotta be a puppet.

I don’t want it to go down that way / but in a way you gotta follow the procedure / so go ahead and play your video game

LAMENTATIONS

I don’t have much to say about this one but this line always makes my heart ache idk:

I was only thinking of human kindness

TELL ME YOU LOVE ME

Here we gooooooo. Y’all aren’t ready.

Thesis: Tell me you love me despite the primordial darkness about to overtake me. And even if you don’t, I’m going to love you.

15x18 Despair anyone??

I want to just paste the whole song but, here—

DIE HAPPY

Yep, "Die Happy" immediately follows "Tell Me You Love Me." Yes, the lyrics are just “I want to die happy” over and over for almost 6 minutes.

First of all, the repetition mirrors the end of the song Fourth of July, from Sufjan’s previous album Carrie & Lowell, where Sufjan sings “we’re all gonna die” over and over.

Parallels, baby.

But I noticed something else about this recently though— in Die Happy, if you are listening to it in your headphones, there’s this weird sound that sounds like a wasp flying around your head (it made me uncomfortable which is why I noticed it, haha). After I felt unnerved for a moment, I had a realization— that this could be referencing one of Sufjan’s most beloved songs, “The Predatory Wasp of the Palisades Is Out To Get Us!!” (yes that’s a real song title lol)

The Predatory Wasp is about how Sufjan fell in love with his best friend at the Bible Camp he went to as a teenager. The wasp is a metaphor for internalized homophobia and also his love and how he fears his love will hurt the boy he’s in love with.

So, Die Happy references an iconic song from Illinois (2005) with these notable lines:

Tl;dr:

I want to die happy vs. I can’t explain the state that I’m in / the state of my heart / he was my best friend

Here’s an Despair photoset with Predatory Wasp lyrics via @toneelspeelster.

ATIVAN

So your best friend has just died happy by being in love with you. You feel like the primordial darkness is on YOU now:

I woke up in stereo—I spent the day in vertigo / I could not get the spirit off my back

You’re once again tossed in the waves of thinking that God is fucking with you. But either way you just want to be tranquilized at this point.

Is it all for something? Is it all part of a plan / tranquilize me, sanitize me, Ativan

Is it all for nothing? Is it all part of a plan? / make my death wish, mind my business / do the best I can with what I am

Ativan asks, was the true leading woman all this time… substance abuse??

Ativan / my leading woman

Long story short, you’re drunk on communion wine, asking the shadows to come back.

fill me with the blood of Jesus / clean my plate 'til he receives us / separate the colors from the black / ... / tell the shadows near us to come back

URSA MAJOR & LANDSLIDE

Not a lot to say about this (even though I love these songs) so I’m gonna skip mostly, but the narrator has decided he wants to love you, he can’t help it <3

GILGAMESH

Oh boy.

I mean you kinda know what’s coming because of the title. The Epic of Gilgamesh is the world’s oldest piece of epic world literature, and Gilgamesh was “the first hero of human history.”

In the world’s oldest story, The Epic of Gilgamesh, Gilgamesh and Enkidu are “very close friends” (their relationship is very homoerotic and this is barely disputed). Gilgamesh calls Enkidu his brother, and they are mutually selfless towards each other but when Enkidu dies, indirectly because of Gilgamesh, Gilgamesh has a breakdown and mourns him like that of a spouse and then has to come to terms with his own mortality.

The meta level of this is so obvious I’m not even going to go into it. Anyways… here are lyrics that make me want to scream!

the repetition of “my heart”... the concept of singing a eulogy.... saying your heart is chained to Your Angel............ it hurts

DEATH STAR

Star Wars reference my beloved. Like many of these songs this has Fuck You God energy.

what you call the human race / expedite the judgement day / it’s your own damn head on that plate

vandalize what you create / ... / witness me resist your fate / it’s your own damn head on that plate

GOODBYE TO ALL THAT

This song is a bop honestly

When the lyrics were released a bunch of Sufjan fans contrasted Goodbye To All That’s here I am alone in my car / hopelessly infatuted / and I’m driving to wherever you are to Sufjan & Moses Sumney’s song, “Make Out in My Car”.

Yeah, I know, we’re all thinking of this:

Make Out in My Car is basically where Moses gave Sufjan a horny car guy chorus and told him to write the verses, and Sufjan proceeded to write the most liturgical shit ever (and we love him for it). ANYWAYS… Goodbye To All That also reminds me of Dean’s depression and the weirdness that started in 15x19 and goes into 15x20. For some reason he makes it seem more upbeat and happy than it is...

Despite this song being a bop, the lyrics are depressing. He’s alone in his car. He’s hopeless. He realizes it’s too late to have died a young man.

He’s going to try to move on, even though nothing is left of him, he’s begging someone to turn around and show me his shadow.

He also references substance abuse again—

love me / and leave me / intoxicated

SUGAR

The music video? Iconic. The mom of a family is making a pie, or she’s trying to. She ends up rubbing the filling all over her face, crushing the fruits, the oven catches on fire.

But she does it! She makes the pie.

Meanwhile the other family members are in their rooms, overindulging in sugar in all its forms. And then as she and her family eat around a dining table, occassionally being seemingly marrioetted by some unseen force, she looks angrily over her family, they all seem to kind of lose it, then the house starts to come apart until the chandelier falls on the dinner table.

It’s the making pie + overindulgence in sugar + marionetted family metaphors for me ❤️

Ultimately, the song is about begging for affection, being desperate for domesticity, but you feel doomed, you feel like your defeat is predestined, that you can’t escape it.

You just don’t want to be heartbroken & you don’t want to be angry anymore!!!!

THE ASCENSION

So you may be asking… does this guy get the domesticity he’s longing for?? Does he get his love back??

No. He dies. :/

The Ascension begins with just that. He’s dying.

THEN Sufjan decides to rhyme “confess” with “confess”, in two lines that mean almost opposite things:

When I am dead / and the light leaves my breast / nothing to be told / nothing to confess / let the record show / what I couldn’t quite confess

So does this guy have something to confess or not??? 👀

Moving on…

He goes back to thinking about how his life was predestined all along, and now after all that, he’s dying. So he thinks about all the times he was kind of like this Mythological Icon. That he always had to be the one to show what was right, to lead by example. That that had been his entire identity.

And he realizes he needs to answer for himself.

Then he is frightened— realizing he was always asking what everything meant, what it all was for, but that all along he was just angry and depressed.

But even though he feels a like he should have just resigned himself to meaninglessness, that he only thought he could change the world for the better… it strengthened him to know the truth.

And even through the absolute shit of it all, and even though God & others did things from a place of so-called holiness and hopelessness...

He did everything out of love ❤️

So then he dies 🙃

AMERICA

So, as the end of The Ascension asked, what now?

The album ends on this long track, which Sufjan describes as a protest against all that America has been and has become.

It’s a protest against capitalism, of destroying humanity for the sake of some cold machinery.

I have worshipped / I believed / I have broke your bread / for a splendor of machinery

And in true Sufjan fashion, he makes this song about protesting somehow both horny and religious, god bless

I have loved you / like a dream / I have kissed your lips / like a Judas in heat

I have worshipped / I have cried / I have put my hands in the wounds on your side / I have tasted of your blood / I have choked on the waters / I abated the flood / I am broken / I am beat / but I will find my way / like a Judas in heat

I am fortune / I am free / I’m like a fever of light / in the land of opportunity / don’t do to me / what you did to America / don’t do to me / what you do to yourself

to finish out, here’s a DeanCas post by @eggcessive with lyrics from America ❤️ I HOPE YOU ENJOYED MY WEBWEAVING :)

#sufjannatural #sufjanatural #destiel meta #spn #deancas #sufjan #here it is.... my masterpiece #this didn't take as long as you'd think considering all of this has been on the tip of my tongue for months #<3 I hope others freak out along with me <3 I'm obsessed with the album and his voice #I feel kinda weird posting this bc this album also had like a ton of personal spiritual significance to me.... but it's fine #those things can be connected

24 notes · View notes

rigelsenshis · 4 years

Text

you thought i was done spilling all my feelings about joe and nicky and italian songs with my de andré post but lol no my soul can’t rest until i’ve talked about the Maestro so here we Go. now, the Maestro is the nickname for franco battiato, overall genius incredible wordsmith delicate singer national treasure and one of my favorite music artists like??? ever???

he’s sicilian, so not where nicky was originally from but still very much from the mediterranean, and a place where all the cultures growing around the mediterranean intersected. in general, battiato has written some incredible songs, all of them charged with so much lyricism and feeling that not associating them to joe and nicky would be a crime that i’m Not about to commit so here have some of my faves and let’s all hold hands and cry over the best love story of the last millennium

(a little note to say that i’ll do my best to translate the lyrics but battiato chooses his words so carefully and creates such incredible sentences that i’ll never be able to do his songs justice and like, i Accept That)

(song: e ti vengo a cercare)

(and i come looking for you / just to see you or talk to you / because i need your presence / to better understand my essence / this common sentiment / is born out of divine mechanics / a mystic and divine rapture / imprisons me to you) this is my favorite battiato song probably and this is also me looking into the camera like i’m on the office but with tears in my eyes bcos “a common sentiment”??? “born out of divine mechanics”??? just lay me to rest lay me to reST NOW

(song: e ti vengo a cercare)

(and i come looking for you / with the excuse of having to talk to you / because i like what you think and what you say / because i see my roots in you / this century coming to a close / filled to the brim with parasites without dignity / only pushes me to be better / with more willpower)

wow niccolò is that you??? my immortal man is that yOU???

(song: la stagione dell’amore)

(the season of love comes and goes / desires almost never grow old with age // the season of love comes and goes / suddenly without realizing it, you’ll be living it, it’ll amaze you // yet another thrill will make your heart beat / new chances to know one another / and the lost horizons are never forgotten)

la stagione dell’amore is such a quiet and touching song like i find myself tearing up every time i listen to it and this is both for them when they met, bcos i’m pretty sure neither of them expected to find their soulmate on the battlefield, but also for them today— their desires haven’t aged and the horizons they left behind are still part of them and of their story

(song: la cura)

(i’ll bring you most importantly silence and patience / we’ll tread together on the roads that lead to the essence / perfumes of love will inebriate our bodies / the calm sea of august won’t calm our senses)

i’m bringing out the heavy guns now bcos la cura is such a famous song and it’s so delicate and sensual which is such a rare balance that battiato strikes almost every single fucking time like how??? but yeah if this doesn’t scream “his kiss still thrills me even after a millennia” then idk what does

(song: la cura)

(i’ll weave your hair like the words of a song / i know the laws of the world and i’ll gift them to you / i’ll overcome the gravitational streams / space and light to stop you from aging / i’ll save you from every sadness / because you’re a special being and i’ll take care of you / yes i, will take care of you)

muffled sobbing in the distance

(song: mesopotamia)

(do you know that the more you age / more distant memories resurface / as if it was yesterday // what will remain of me? of my passage on earth? of all the ideas i’ve had in this life? // to be honest i too have been living for millennia / and come straight from the highest civilization of the sumerians / from the cuneiform art of the scribes / and i often sleep in a sleeping bag / because i don’t want to lose touch with the earth)

ehm??? immortality??? what will remain after we’re gone??? i descend from civilizations that aren’t the same anymore??? eHM???

(song: i treni di tozeur)

(in abandoned churches they’re preparing shelters / and new spaceships for interstellar voyages / in an old mine, expanses of salt / and a memory of me like a spell / and for a second it comes back, the will to live at a different speed / the trains for tozeur are still passing slowly)

i treni di tozeur is a haunting song that’s filled to the brim with nostalgia for something that isn’t there anymore, a distant past, or maybe something that was never there to begin with, since it’s inspired by the phenomenon of the mirages in the desert. and i love it especially bcos of that line about wanting to live at a different speed, which i’ve always interpreted as wanting to live slower, like older days, which again is very fitting with joe and nicky. besides, tozeur is in tunisia, which is incidentally also where joe is from

this has been another rambling about italian music by yours truly will there be more who knows i gotta go cry now

#the old guard #joe x nicky #immortal husbands #nicolo di genova #yusuf al kaysani #luca marinelli #marwan kenzari #sigh i just love italian music #so much #and italy so much #and this movie so much

84 notes · View notes

smallestclowninthecircus · 3 years

Text

Season 4 notes

Ep 121: mmmm tape recorder turning on without them knowing goes brrr. AAAhjhdsjfhjdf "do you mind if i call you jon" its like "can i call you elias?" is this the dream guy with the tendrils? who wants to bet the boat is captained by peter lukas? big man if it killed yall how are you still here. oh boy the tape is doin that thing. who do we think it is? did he wake up? hmm. ep 122: lol jon. 6 months!?!? bruh quit movin big man. he just Knows things sometimes you know how it is. nah b/c i can relate to feeling like other ppl/ things arent real, thats the biggest mood BUT i think it is kinda pretentious to entertain the idea that youre the only Real person. If you dont see a body dont believe it. i'll hold out hope for a bit. theres not a new archivist is there? surely i wouldve heard about that. oh god peter what changes did you make. ep 123: web development. hope its about spiders. she blames him. bruh why. if they hadnt done anything the world would've ended piss off melanie. why are ppl acting like he chose to be in a coma for 6 months. we know this they just appear. no longer "head archivist of the magnus institute, london" now he's just "the archivist" covered in spiders? cuz ik the spider has to do with controlling what youre doing and all this stuff but i cant think of how this connects to that. ep 124: ugh vertigo. is michael crew an old man? oooh. fairchild. how did he know it was martin? hmm. GRR I LOST MY NOTES AGAIN. FROM EPISODE 125 - part of 131. ep 131: bruh he's so hard to understand big man ur voice is so low. Jared Hotworth. the boneturner. "the ones i helped find their proper bodies" name a better top surgeon? our favorite trans ally? ep 132: woo field trip into the coffin! static lol. he says "chill out im just poppin in for a quick recall mission" is the rib thing actually gonna work? bruh it feels so odd and contrived but he's an odd man with some odd powers so idk. rip that archivist ayyy statement time. voices? recordings? are those tape recorders? was it the tape recorders? did they pull him back? i hope so b/c if the rib thing actually worked im gonna be so disappointed. ep 133: predicting the lonely? tundra. like the lukases. hmm. sanikova! like sanikov land. so its the hunt? i suppose? yeah. so daisy's clearly rejecting the hunt, which makes sense cuz she doesnt seem to like the entities that much. wait so are we just not gonna talk abt all the tapes playing on the ground?? no? ep 134: not an archival assistant anymore? Adelard Decker (or however you spell it) i recognize that name. 15th power. i was right there are 15. the extinction? im trying to remember what ive heard. oooh spooky. no i gotta be real i dont understand this fear but i'll believe you that its a thing. ew lukas is so squealy. lukas can turn invisible? oh boy. oooh martin put the tape recorders there. lol lukas is worried he's gonna be an avatar of the eye. ep 135: yoo its the third Daedalus statement! maxwell rayner (reiner? reigner?) i dont know who that is but ik its somebody. is he the cult leader guy? church of the divine host? 4 people?? what? did they kidnap somebody and keep them up there?? oh dear jon are you dying? did he try to See or Know or whatever? why does everyone call basira detective lol. ep 136: he was the one from the spider movie that ate ppl right? the special effects artist? is it annabelle cane? "its a joke jon" lol. hmm they wanted to record the therapy session with melanie? i wonder who that is. i almost wanna guess annabelle cane but im not sure. ep 137: this is the one! he went to the other place and read the war statement but it wasnt the one she took. not the music again. sounds like the slaughter. who the heck is eric lol. "the watcher's crown" like the crown of eyes we saw in the piccrew ep 138: oh boy Robert Smirk time. is that elias? as unhelpful as usual. if new powers can be "born" can others die out? did jonah magnus wear the watchers crown? maybe they were born from our fear or maybe our fears were born from them. ceaseless watcher does ceaselessly watch so. idk what you want

big man. yeah jonah for sure did something. ep 139: agnes!! lol that one dude threw off all their plans thats so funny. BUT this does tell us something. the tree in the backyard of the hilltop house? not made by her. it going down didnt kill agnes. im guessing gertrude tied agnes to the house using the tree? u good jon? cuz every time you try to Know smth intentionally it seems like it causes you great pain. how come he can do it accidentally with no problem but the second he wants to know smth of plot relevance he gets a headache or whatever ep 140: lol pagan exultation. classic. "oh thats my rib" lmaoo. ppl are always so mad at jon and his Eye powers except when it benefits them. they're like "oh you shouldnt do that its not right" and then all of a sudden they want to know something and its all "oh cmon jon its the only way" ep 142: oh god jon what did you do. its interesting she's giving her statement in the way that they do when jon Asks. did he see her in the Coffin? and so he's following her? ok cmon jon you're supposed to let them come to you. lmao ikr martin. "start to hear the blood" "suure." lmao ep 143: lol that awkward moment when gertrude is already dead. big J if you die im gonna kill you. bruh. ayo helen? i guess it worked? ep 144: lol this reminds me of that one edgar allan poe story where he kills the old dude with the weird eye. spooky music stuff. lol thats my favorite symptom of a heart attack its hilarious. so its smth abt the location probably? bro i feel like you should write down the numbers idk. 162830165049 564846474827. seems like the distortion? like the kinda thing that causes you to go crazy because of the numbers. oh boy is it the extinction again. bro what?? im?? his dad just died and he's like eh. martin dont be mean. he's being all lonely again. big man ur pushing ppl away. oh god its fucking squealy boy. ep 145: that almost sounds like breekon/hope... Arthur? agnes. aah was he from the lightless flame cult. a tree. lol he's just ranting rn. hehehe fuck landlords amirite. yay someone tells jon outright to go to therapy. now do it big man. ep 146: oh great! the distortion! i'm making a spiral themed building in mc right now! jon maybe accept you did a bad? nah this goes back to what i said before. they're fine with him compelling ppl when its convenient for them but otherwise its "no jon you cant, youre a monster jon" the tapes didnt turn on. i spose that means its not important? i agree with daisy, this seems unecessarily dangerous. ep 147: is that a tape? the first tape? well that went better than i expected tbh. BAHAKJASHDJKF she did the "can i call you jon" like nikola says "elias, can i call you elias?" damn annabelle is such a girlboss. oh! the one thing from the picrew. its been a while since ive connected smth to that. lol all the other avatars always talk abt their patron so lovingly and the jon just. absolutely hates the eye. ep 148: lol thats the most elias thing. "i just like the way it sounds" ep 149: did he disappear? bruhh. ur lonely powers are popping off i guess. oops i accidentally deleted my notes for 150 - 152 ep 153: thats the cult right? yeah. it doesnt sound like the church of the divine host? idk. if it is the church of the divine host then they worship the dark right? so is the eleventh the dark star or wtvr? it almost sounds like the corruption b/c of the oil or grease or whatever. oh dear what happened. oh its the hunters. theyre so annyoing. not an "it" he has a name. he's a person. is this a page from the skin book? ep 154: oh shit this is gerry's dad! oh shit he quit! oh dear god. jon don't you do it. haha martin. yeahhhh... is he gonna tell the others? cuz you know theyre gonna get mad if he doesnt. oh also picrew connection! the bandages over the eyes? yeah thats this im guessing. ep 155: oh good he told them. oh my god what did you do. lol i have no mouth and i must scream. nah you get none of my sympathy you're straight up murdering ppl. its like the desolation, destroying lives to sustain your own. ok but taking their statements doesnt

kill them. oh... bye melanie. ep 156: lmao imagine if the tape recorder spoke back. oh boy decker! i swear we got a statement from him already. oh god mirrors scary. They're gonna eat the body arent they. Yup... sounds like the flesh or the slaughter, but I'm not sure. Could be the extinction for sure. Smth at the center! Like Helen mentioned. God Peter you dick. Ep 157: peter's just so :/ another decker statement i see. a statement about the corruption? hmm. maybe its not abt the corruption. the extinction. lol pandemics. topical. John Amherst. helen? lol i can hear admiral purring in the background. oh cmon helen dont be like that. im trying real hard to like you but you make it so difficult. ep 158: did they fucking free the stranger? im gonna lose it. you absolute dumbass. im sorry who is that? jonah magnus? my guy. peter. you absolute dickhead. that's elias. (im p sure i had this spoiled for me that elias is jonah) oh dear this is her death. god peter you prick. i hope this is a pop off martin moment and not a "martin you idiot" moment. i hope the hunters kill the stranger entity. or she kills them. furry daisy pop off! yeah fuck you peter martin can make his own decisions. you know that clip from Twisted where jafar says "ok what the fuck was that" martin D: ok like i know its gonna work but still D: D: ep 159: peter you bitchboy. because if im alone i cant hurt anyone else. imnotgonnacryimnotgonnacryimnotgonnacry do it do it do it do it. pop off jon. ok its a pretty good idea for a ritual i gotta be honest. she didnt even have to blow it up lol. oh dear that was certainly a noise. "he gets you" did he not have jon already? he's back! our boy is back! awwww thats so cute. ep 160: oh right this is the thing in the safe house. i love him. "obviously im going to tell you if i see any good cows" martin my beloved <3 :)) oh boy who is this. fuckin. people. jonah you dick. gahh. you can tell he's trying to resist so hard lol. ohh. hehe keep an *eye* on him. altho if the extinction is a real thing he needs to be marked by that right? lol he sounds so intense im sorry- i want martin to just burst in and be like "look at this cow i saw!" its so dramatic and for why.

#tma notes #tma

4 notes · View notes

themoguls · 3 years

Text

"What Inspires You?" by David Pailin Jr.

What is inspiration anyways? It feels like motivation, but not quite... it seems less defined by our circumstances. The feeling's so fleeting, but when we grasp it, it's exhilarating! There are plenty of things that move us emotionally and physically, but this is a bit more intense. It's our dreams, our goals, but somehow it's not that at all. It's like the bridge between us and our dreams. It's that momentary awareness of the talent it takes to get where we want to be and the realization that we possess it. Maybe everything is inspiration. But if that's true, why don't more people have it, where do we find it, and why is it so important? Those three questions will be the focus of this article as we look to ascertain some of the mystery that is inspiration.

The Uninspired

Admittedly, it's very hard to avoid being self-righteous when you speak about what inspires you, but what about when you aren't inspired by anything? In an effort to gather some perspective, I decided to ask several people what inspired them. Below are some quotes of individuals I interviewed (men and women).

"Contributing to the greater good of humanity and leaving the works a better place if I can help it :)"

"Being surrounded by people who are constantly on the move to better themselves professionally, physically, and personally. I'm competitive and like to measure myself against the best of others. They keep me in check."

"When people know and work towards accomplishing their 'purpose' is the biggest for me. There's something about someone deciding, 'ok, this is what I way to do with my life and then doing it. Nothing is more inspirational than that to me."

"My Family, my kids."

"In so many words, Fulfillment, the ability to look back and say it was done by me. Of course, the first thing that played in my head was "girls and bottles!" lmao. The hood in me is always trying to outshine the calm."

"All the people who did me wrong lol make them regret every screwing u over because all your writings and blog posts can get u closer to you dreams."

"What inspires me is being in a relationship where you are each other's BFF, #1 fan, and dream keepers. Also, what inspires me is making a difference with people and having them be empowered and inspired :-)"

"The most inspiring thing to me is the way the music I truly love...like Michael Jackson or something like that makes me feel...I want to make other people feel like that. Also, the fact that anything is possible... I want to be one of the people that is a testament to that… you know."

"Nothing inspires but myself."

"Idk anymore, man, my drive is gone"

I definitely agreed with some answers more than others, but the last two took made me physically shiver. At first, I had the audacity to think, "how can people feel this?", but thankfully I came to my senses and pondered over. I realized at some point everyone feels this way if they're honest with themselves (if not just keep living). When things are going wrong, and people are hurting, the things that normally inspire become frequent reminders of how far they have fallen. You don't have to be immersed in self-loathing to lose inspiration; sometimes, it's just as simple as giving up. There are times when pure exhaustion and routine sap all the inspiration out of us. Soon the refreshing feeling of creative juices just seems harder to draw out than usual, and sometimes it really is. Without proper grounding, these feelings can spiral out of control, and words similar to the quotes I mentioned above can leave our own mouths.

In my research, I crossed Kurt Cobain's suicide note. In it, I saw a man who had completely loss his passion for what he once loved. He was so earnest that he felt like a fraud every time he took the stage because he was just going through motions with the audience. He explains that he tried everything to get that feeling back (including drugs & alcohol), but in the end, even his wife and daughter were not enough to draw from. His tragic case certainly isn't the first and sadly won't be the last. This lost inspiration for life isn't a remote as you think, as a staggering amount of American's (11%) rely on anti-depressants to function.

The Ingredients

Isn't it strange that the things that innately inspire us seem almost heavenly? Often times they are the best of man, but even then, it seems... superhuman. Dictionaries define it as a divine influence, but what does that translate to? At the Plutocrats Club, we believe three elements catalyze inspiration.

Lack of Knowledge. Put simply, you can't get inspired by something you know absolutely everything about. Even masters are constantly learning; as the craft itself continues to evolve, the more time they spend with it. Time and innovation make sure that all things progress. This progression fosters doubt, and doubt leads to curiosity, and determined curiosity leads to epiphanies.

Passion. Though you can have epiphanies about subjects that you aren't interested in, it's impossible to get inspiration from them. Here genuine interest is critical to finding inspiration. Inspiration resonates with our very spirit, and if there is no soul in what we are trying to draw inspiration from, we will find ourselves empty-handed.

Wonder. The feeling of admiration, awe, or marvel. Wonder is probably best exemplified when a child goes to Disney World for the first time. Unfortunately, as we get older, it takes more and more to make us wonder. Reality creeps upon us, and we start to lose the wide-eyed view of the world that we had in adolescence. As hard as it is, it's important for us to seek wonder. It encompasses doubt, passion and then adds surprise. Admittedly, it's also the hardest of the three to ascertain because there are few things that adults can categorize as truly wondrous; even fewer stay this way.

It's Importance

Sure we shared who doesn't have inspiration, what it takes to construct it, but why is it important? The truth is so that we can enjoy life. There are "Existors" all around us. You see them at home, at work, and on the subway. They speak only because their job requires it, they have a job only because they need food, they eat only because it's required to live. Just typing that, I felt the monotonous redundancy of that lifestyle weighing in on me. No joy or enjoyment is in anything they do, just basic, logical goal after basic, logical goal. What happens after all goals are achieved? Death? The goal of inspiration is to provoke creation. The creations of men and women at their best are truly emotional experiences.

After watching your favorite movie, take a serious look at just how many people it took to make it become a reality. At one point, that was just one person's vision! As much as we try to restrain ourselves, we aren't robots. We are full of thoughts, emotions, and illogical mechanisms that need to be explored. Not just for the sake of exploration, but so that our fellow man can use them to the best of their abilities. So I'll ask, what inspires you?

Photography by Demetrius Baker

#soul #spirituality

1 note · View note

jsuisartistofthestars · 3 years

Text

The way I have so much gratitude for my Ancestors and Protectors 🥺 they've protected me multiple times from someone who turned out abusive and manipulative and now that person is gonna get hit with those pending transactions of karma

Here's the wild looking warning:

[TW: abuse, manipulation, abusive relationship mention, blood magick, curses, death mention]

Imma just drop this life story here. I've been proceeding it for so long and maybe having it on a post would help me really set that it's real. It's straight crazy stuff but still. I believe in fairytales.

I have an ex who's currently in prison who was also my karmic partner. I escaped abuse and (later found out through Divination) an early death after I broke up with him and blocked him. The last time I saw him (2018), we got in a major argument when he threatened to "expose" me on IG for fucking another guy (I'm single at this point and he's just very salty). But a month before he wanted me to have this baby cuz that would "make" him change. This man was the reason I ended up needing to be Baker Acted one night over a month before the argument; he was at a party and ignored his friend's messages and calls that I was at the hospital. But when I got discharged (my parents drove up to get me without my knowledge so they released me because no one expected them to come) he came over with some sorry ass face cuz my dad promised to kill him if he ever hurts me again.

During this argument though, I told him that I'd be in going to Canada for vacation, graduating, and living a better life while he'll be going to jail. He got arrested a week later. He called me and said he turned himself in after all that happened so he can take responsibility. I didn't believe him; I knew he was trying to manipulate me again. I called his PO on my way home for vacation and mans got arrested for speeding. I told his mom since he lied to her too (who's lovely overall and that news really set to her how deep of a fuck up he was) and went on my way.

2019, I had started a much better and healthier relationship. The ex got arrested again right after getting out. He did try to contact me a few times but I knew the games by now and my then-bf texted him to back off (a lot of men over there didn't step unless a guy came up 🙄). I had really started my spiritual journey for myself now, learning tarot and starting to pray to my ancestors. I moved out of town for good two days before he was released from jail and he had no idea where I was/am. I had always prayed to my ancestors that he wouldn't ever see me again and they made sure his ass was locked up while i was walking around.

I graduated in December of 2019 and when I went back to my school for the ceremony, I found out he got arrested. A month before. For helping to hide evidence in a murder. He had been transferred across the north side of the state and most of his friend groups fell apart so not even anyone of his "friends" could find me. But I was plagued with nightmares almost every day.

This ain't even the big parts yet.

Last year around this time I had broken up with my recent ex. This is where I got catapulted into my journey further. I found out fake friends of mine had put attacks on me and caused my relationship to end and almost killed me. I since cut them out, learned about protection and Cleansing, got closer to my ancestors, and began to tap into my abilities.

The nightmares shifted from the spiritual attack to that first ex again. Somehow, in prison he got one of my IG pages taken down. I had been off social media so that was a shock, as an old homie of his told me he did something to my pictures. I was taught a binding away spell to make him stop. I don't hex—really it's my last resort. My point wasn't to cause pain but to stop him from bothering me, jumping in my dreams, etc. A month later, I had a dream where he tried to take me away, practically hunting me down for two weeks (in the dream) until my dad shot him in the head (kept his promise) and I woke up literally feeling free. I broke the cycle with him. I went months with nothing but vibes. I began working on my clairaudience as well.

So one thing is that the spirits who walk with me tend to share bad news about people I know. I get good news too but, especially when someone does me wrong, they'll lay down the real stuff. Sometimes they're messages/warnings for others that can be changed if action is taken. My dad gets this too. He was the one who knew that vakabon was gonna end up in jail/prison soon from his own dream.

After Christmas in December, I was chilling and driving and I heard "______ is going to die." I'm like 😳 Mind you, I'm listening to some hype kompa music, running errands, singing, and this comes through clear. That first ex is gonna die. When I got home, my ancestors confirmed this through my cards. I left it alone even though to me it's great news. I still don't wish death on people but hey they said it.

THIS JANUARY (goddamn this shit is long)

In the middle of the first month of the new year, this prison ex shows up in my dream but he masquerades as a completely different person trying to trick me. A protector spirit literally shows up and calls him out, telling me to leave the room but I catch the dude's face. Idk how you can go cold in a dream but I did. His face, his hair, his stupid smile, and his off-putting laughing. Like he knew he almost got me. I checked in with other readers, and it was his Spirit. Apparently, he knows he's gonna die and wanted to trap me spiritually so I'd go down with him. He wanted me to die. Mans like a demon. When I woke up, I used cards and shells to Divine coupled with constant cleansing of my spaces and myself. I made multiple sigils for protection for myself and even my loved ones. He hasn't shown up since cuz he's always blocked out now, but looking for new ways. I keep up with it every day.

I talked to my seer friend and learned that that ex had tried to do some heavy blood magick on me (no wonder why my ancestors like my recent ex like he does nothing at all) and it backfired big time; no protection, nothing. All my spirits from ancestors to protectors to even lwa and orishas have been making their presences known. He went to someone to help get the work done and the guy knew it was going to backfire but let the ex do it on purpose (grade A). Now he's sick and is still going to be paying 😌 maybe even more 😌

What did get me some is why. What type of hatred you have for me to put so much risk to kill me when you haven't even seen me in years? You're so upset at your situation that you try to drag me down. A friend suggested that he could've always been into more baneful magick but played it off well. That could very well be true. Or he escalated cuz he blames me for things that happened to him. Whatever it is, it's on him. He's facing Justice and my people. Whoever he went to really let him fuck up knowing I was protected but let it come back on him. It's the audacity. But he'll never have me. When I escaped that relationship I meant it on all levels.

I'm safe, I'm guarded, I'm flourishing, and I'll outlive him.

#afro witch #witchcraft #ancestors #black spirituality #witch of color #witchblr #long post #trauma vent #venting

1 note · View note

rydertm · 4 years

Text

𝐦𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐫𝐲𝐝𝐞𝐫.

( wolfgang novogratz, cis male ) hey ! have you seen RYDER MONROE around ? HE works as a RENTALS TECHNICIAN at big bear resort, but they must be off their shift by now. well, if you do see them can you let me know ? they’re 22 years old & they’ve been working here for A FEW WEEKS. they tend to be CAREFREE & FUN-LOVING, but can also be IRRESPONSIBLE & EVASIVE. the other employees have labeled them THE PETER PAN. thanks a lot ! ( mismatched socks and old beat up converse, a mischievous dimpled smile, soft guitar strums at 3am, illegible scribbles in a worn out notebook, rowdy cheers heard overtop of loud party music ).

ya, idk man. i have no self-control & this is a long, rambley mess. soooo hERE is aylie’s older twin brother ( by five minutes ), ryder. gimme a like ig, but imma be hitting everyone up to plot anyways cuz i luv u all.

name : ryder austin monroe if u kno, u kno age : twenty-two gender : cis male sexuality : heterosexual hometown : london, england job : rentals technician ( subject to change )

born to a famous retired musician from london and a colorado native, ryder is the older twin of aylie ( by five minutes and he’ll never let her forget it ). they share an older brother, cole, making him the middle child.

middle child syndrome was very much so the case with ryder. between his siblings, he was always the troublemaker and it’s been this way since they were young. he could always be found up to no good ━ anything from hanging off the curtains to trying to ship himself off to egypt in a cardboard box.

his dad got him into music to teach him how to focus and as a means to keep him busy. ryder took to it like fish to water, and showed some promising talent in writing and playing music. he wrote his first song when he was five and although it was pretty much just nonsense about cheerios, he somehow managed to recycle some of the lyrics into a proper song years later.

as a kid, ryder was also put into different sports to channel all of his energy somewhere. football ( or soccer for the ‘muricans ) was the sport that he kept up with up until he finished school, and of course, snowboarding. he’s always been ridiculously competitive, especially with his siblings, and likes to tease aylie that he’s the superior snowboarder in the family.

he had just been accepted to berklee college in the US when his mom got into a car accident and passed away. her death really shook his family to the core, yet ryder had played it off like he was completely unaffected by it, even cracking jokes at the funeral.

that was just who ryder was. he never took anything seriously, even when he should, and life was just one big party. he always ran away at the first sign of a problem or responsibility, and that was exactly what he did after his mom’s funeral. he packed up what he could and left home that very night, only leaving his family a half-assed note on the back of the funeral program.

he spent the summer traveling on his own, working odd jobs and playing whatever gigs he could get. deferring his acceptance to berklee for a year, later turned into dropping out altogether when he decided to just focus on his music.

the whole music thing worked out for him after he put together a band while in amsterdam. they toured around different cities playing small gigs, and when he wasn’t touring, he was working with upcoming artists or traveling on his own. ryder was never in one place for long and his family never knew when he’d visit.

it was only a couple years ago that he began visiting big bear again, mostly to visit his sister and to snowboard. though he also picked up the odd job of working at the rentals shack, where he spends most of his shift messing around on his guitar.

ryder’s always been the biggest little shit around. he could be pretty rowdy and immature sometimes, but it’s all in the name of fun. very much an act before you think type and has landed himself in some hot water because of it. with absolutely zero impulse control, he’s a bit of a fighter and a lover ( will fight you, but then buy you a beer after ), but he’s got a good heart and tries to be cool with everyone.

FUN FACTS.

his music is a bit of a cross between rex orange county and lauv.

really bad with quotes. will quote ghandi even though 9.9/10 times, ghandi did not in fact say it.

obsessed with the fast and furious movies. frequently wishes he was brian o’connor. sometimes thinks he is brian o’connor. will absolutely be the first in line to watch the 24th movie and will also frequently quote the movies.

ironically enough, he’s a bad driver. like, really bad. took him nine tries to get his license. just picture cher horowitz’s driving tbh.

ryder’s instagram is private because of his ~* super famous celeb *~ dad, but he also lets just about anyone follow him so that... kind of defeats the purpose. he posts a lot of artsy ( in his opinion ) pics, but also random stuff like a zoomed in shot of grease on a pizza slice and cUtE candids, complete with quotes ( said by the wrong people ) as captions. #influencer

always down for a good prank war. famously known for being the guy that broke in and stole the jonas brothers’ wardrobe change right before they had to get back on stage.

loves a good romance or rom-com movie. can probably quote from the classics. he just quotes a lot of shit i guess?? also a big taylor swift stan. he said fuck your gender norms, bro!

WANTED CONNECTIONS. some generic wcs cuz i’m boring IDK. obvy, i’m always open to brainstorming other ideas too!

BROT3 ━ trio of your dreams bish. every bro needs his bros. his partners in crime, ride or dies, BFFLs, bro-mates, whatever you wanna call it. can either encourage or discourage ryder’s ~*~brilliant~*~ ideas, but either way, they’re always along for the ride. taken by leo takanashi & kieran rhodes

CHILDHOOD ( BEST ) FRIEND ━ grew up together and they’re basically each other’s number one since day one. probably vacationed together in big bear and that was how they met.

MOM FRIEND ━ because ryder is a dumb child and needs someone looking out for him, even if he only listens like 10% of the time. just a scary mama bear / boss bitch who he is maybe a lil scared of. taken by divine burakgazi

CONFIDANT ━ not saying ryder talks about his ~* feelings *~ often, but the odd chance that he does, it’s probably with y/m. they could just lend an ear, or be someone he turns to for advice too. taken by callie macdermot

GOOD INFLUENCE ━ the angel on ryder’s shoulder basically. the voice of reason who will talk him out of getting into dumb shenanigans where he’ll a) hurt himself, b) get into trouble, or c) all of the above.

BAD INFLUENCE ━ and ofc, the devil on ryder’s shoulder. the person who encourages all of his bad ideas. probably even contributes a fair share of them. taken by callie macdermot

( EX ) FLING / FWB / HOOK-UP ━ someone ( or multiple someones ) ryder often hooked up with whenever he’s in big bear. maybe he genuinely liked her ( and she liked him back? ), but he’s just too emotionally immature and flighty to be a good boyfriend.

EX-GF ━ dated for a few months before she dumped him because he was a crappy boyfriend. it could have ended on good, bad, awkward, whatever terms. taken by ingrid kelly

SOFT SPOT ━ maybe they dated, maybe they almost dated, maybe it was on/off. whatever the case, ryder just can’t seem to shake y/m. he cares a lot for her ( possibly some strong lovey feelings were involved ) and will always be there for her no matter what. y/m could feel the same way, or just be leading him on. think peter kavinsky & gen sdlkgjdkg don’t come at me. taken by divine burakgazi

FAVOURITE ANNOYANCE ━ ryder loves to annoy y/m and get on their nerves just for the hell of it ( maybe he has a tiny crush ). will do just about anything to get a rise out of y/m and to rile them up.

ENEMIES / RIVALS ━ for whatever reason, they just never clicked and/or rubbed each other the wrong way. every time they’re in the same room together, it’s big yikes and lots of tension.

#bigbearintro #intro. ( ryder monroe. )#death tw #car accident tw

9 notes · View notes

bigskydreaming · 4 years

Note

But what does the economy of Faetown (or specifically the one Scott resides in as there are multiple similar settlements in the world) look like 🤔 These are all young adults who have up and relocated, running from home. Is there a bartering system, which makes sense since they're partly fey

What? Me, including the Fae folklore about their tendencies towards bartering and double-edged favors in almost everything I do? Pfft. What ever would give you that idea. Absurd!

LOL no, but yeah that’s definitely a thing, buuuuut because I do use that so often in so many things I wanted to make sure it was distinct from like….the barter magic system I used for that one Scackson, yknow? The tattoo magic thing.

So pretty much all the Changeling settlements operate off of some form of homegrown/naturally developing quid pro quo exchange. You need something from someone, you offer something in return. If you don’t have anything they need, you get it from someone else first in exchange for something you do have to offer, and so on and so on.

Precisely because most of these are young adults relocating with minimal resources and a lot of them only partway through schooling and such, its intentionally meant to be an unnecessarily, overcomplicated system at times. It differs from one Faetown to the next, but its never totally streamlined or the most efficient process because they’re literally making this stuff up as they go along. They haven’t figured out the most efficient ways to do things yet.

And in every Faetown there are those Changelings that anyone’s pretty much happy to give them whatever they need, for the most part. Kind of a “this person is always welcome to eat here for free” kinda thing, y’know? Because we’re talking about the Changelings who are basically built into the actual infrastructure of these Faetowns themselves, like part of the very reason they exist. So in Bordertown in SF, for instance that’d include Scott, but also the Ferryman, the Rose Garden, that one dragon Changeling and his Rider, etc. The ones whose magic is responsible for the protection and safety of the Faetowns, bringing Changelings to them in the first place, etc.

And then the rest of the Changelings in each settlement basically just put themselves out there and make themselves known as offering or available for whatever products or services their Changes make them best suited towards, in various ways. In Bordertown, there’s a central marketplace right smack dab in the center/most protected part of the town, near Rose’s Garden and the Aerie. But with some kind of Changeling-dug river that cuts straight through the town to it from the docks so the aquatic Changelings who live out there have easy access to it too. And they organically congregate in various clusters or ‘lanes’ of similar type of wares, so to speak.

So for instance, there’s a row of stalls or shops called something idk yet, but like, Answers Alley, something like that. And this is where the various Changelings who traffic in information can be found.

The diviners, seers, prophets, like Boyd and Alicia…..or the ones that have access to various forms of esoteric or ‘valuable’ information, like that one kid, the Archivist, the one modeled after Aaron idk if you remember. He’s the one whose skin is covered with constantly changing, flowing script like tattoos….writing that appears on his body and is endlessly replaced with new writing day after day. And all of the writing is straight out of various sources of ‘lost’ or destroyed knowledge, like the books or tomes or scrolls destroyed in places like the Library at Alexandria and similar places throughout history.

And also Lydia and her Whisper Lounge would be on this street, there’s a Changeling who specializes in memory retrieval and another whose Change lets them imbue physical objects with memories or feelings, like imprint them onto the object so anyone who touches it experiences that particular feeling or sees that memory. Etc, etc.

So basically, any Changeling who is looking for some form of information, be it a specific piece of knowledge, a way to check up on someone, finding someone or something that was lost, etc…..they go here and just start working their way down the lane til they find a Changeling who can help with what they need.

At one end of this street, it ends up at the warehouse that was converted into a lair for the dragon Changeling to live in, with the roof removed and replaced with a covering for when it rains but otherwise opens up to the air, so he can fly up and out as needed. But since he’s so huge and the city itself just isn’t really adapted to his needs, he really tends to stay put unless he’s needed somewhere for some reason, like to defend the town or do a warning fly-by overhead if for some reason they think outside forces are thinking of making some kind of attack or incursion. Plus, his metabolism is like, insane, and so he’s fairly sleepy and lethargic a lot of the time anyway, reserving most of his energy for spurts when he needs to be flying and fire-breathing and all that jazz.

Basically, his very presence is a deterrence to a lot of threats and he’s one of the primary defenders of the town, and that’s a contribution in and of itself the rest of the town tends to be very appreciative of. So they always make sure he has plenty to eat, but more than that, like, the big drawback to his size and shape is that he misses out on a lot of day-to-day activities and is limited in where he can go and what he can experience firsthand….his magic and that of his Rider sync up in such a way that like I’ve mentioned, they can see through each other’s eyes and kinda share experiences that way….but along with that, the one big thing about the dragon is that he’s actually fairly young, was early teens at the most when he was Changed, and he loves stories.

And so that’s the reason his lair is located along this particular street….because along with housing him, it ends up becoming like a central gathering place for storytelling and theater, performing arts, etc. Changelings flock here pretty much 24/7 (given that there are as many nocturnal Changelings as there are diurnal), and its basically like….the entertainment hotspot, sprung up around the Changeling who is most land-locked and who most benefits/is ‘compensated’ or appreciated via a constant revolving door of storytellers. Changelings just sharing personal stories or weaving tales out of their journey to Bordertown in the first place, or making up stories and kinda bringing back a resurgence of storytelling as an oral tradition, etc.

And then pretty much anything related. Here’s where you’d find the Changelings who use illusion magic to make three dimensional movies, shapeshifters reenacting any number of plays, Changeling singers, bands made up of those whose music or art has nothing to do with their Changes, is just their own hobbies and interests separate of that, as well as the Changelings with actual magic that manifests via singing or music in some way.

Then on another street tentatively called Mercy Row, you have the healers. Isaac would eventually end up here once he was settled in, for instance, but also ones like Brett who can purify toxins and poisons, and part of the river/canal would cut across this street so the aquatic Changelings with healing powers could be found here as well.

Because the aquatic Changelings have such variety and there are some who are just totally undersea 24/7 vs the ones who are more amphibious and can have a presence both underwater and above it, down in the adjacent sub-aquatic settlement by the docks where they all congregate, there’s a separate Market just for the always-underwater Changelings to go to.

And occasionally there are Changelings here who never go above the surface but have specific Changes or magic that the surface Changelings might need or want to seek out. So for instance, there’s one Changeling in the surface market whose magic lets her produce these pearls…that when held or worn allow an air-breather to survive underwater until the pearl finishes magically dissolving. So between her and some others, there’s a few different ways that surface Changelings can take like, day trips to the underwater village.

At the very heart of the Market, the part that intersects/butts up against the Rose’s Garden, you have the various Changelings with nature magic or elemental Changes. So that’s where they go to trade for most food, with the Garden and its various flora-related Changelings able to grow year round pretty much any fruit or vegetable known to man and a number that aren’t. Plus stalls from the various Changelings who trade in food of various types made or obtained via other kinds of non-plant based magic. And then the various weather workers are gonna be situated here most days they’re at the Market, with them usually to be found up in the Aerie the rest of the time (given that the vast majority of the weather workers are flight capable as well).

And then scattered throughout the various streets and lanes specific to their kind of offerings or services, there are various Changelings whose magic creates or provides the stuff the town as a whole trades with either other settlements or with mainstream humanity - which has as much to do with people leaving them alone and there being no official responses to their presence/settlements as the threats/warning of weaponized Changeling magic acting as a deterrent.

So on one street, Kid Midas has his shop, the gold-skinned Changeling with ruby eyes, who can turn anything into some form of gem or precious metal with just a touch. And sure, there’s the occasional Changeling looking to make or give someone some kind of jewelry or gift, of course there’s a ‘demand’ for his talents in that respect, but honestly not that much of one. Changelings are still for the most part the same as they were before they were Changed, so its not like there’s not still a bunch of them who like jewelry and pretty things as much as anyone, but there’s not a hugely pressing need for those things due to the things that are most prioritized in Bordertown. And its just…not the direction the still forming, still young Changeling society is taking, even as its still being formed day by day. So yes, there’s still plenty of individual Changelings who like the things Kid Midas makes and are willing to trade for them, but nothing he can’t ‘fill to order’ on a day by day basis without breaking a sweat.

But in contrast, the gems and metals he can make out of anything do still hold quite a bit of value in mainstream society, so he’s one of the primary figures in Faetown providing the various trades they offer people outside Bordertown in order to keep people off their backs. Like, there’s the idea ‘okay but why wouldn’t someone outside just try and have this particular Changeling kidnapped and thus have a constant source of free money’….but the thing is, when the various Changeling settlements first started springing up as central gathering places, and there were skirmishes, and efforts to abduct and exploit individual Changelings….like, the Changelings worldwide made sure to impress upon people that for every Changeling with a ‘valuable’, exploitable Change or magic….there were just as many whose magic was dangerous to others or outright fatal, and many of these Changelings had instinctive defense mechanisms they didn’t even need to be conscious to deploy.

Like y’know with how the Rose’s skin is like smooth mahogany wood to anyone who touches her with her consent…..but any hand that touches her without permission or being invited to is inevitably going to find itself stabbed by poisonous thorns that can kill with a single prick of the thumb.

So…..there are plenty of Changelings any of the seedier elements of society would love to snatch up and exploit as their own personal golden geese, but there are just as many where anyone who tries that with them, they’re going to regret it. And due to the sheer breadth of Changeling appearances, and how so many of their appearances don’t directly or obviously correlate to their magic……good luck trying to figure out at a glance whose magic is ‘valuable’ and whose is going to kill you if you so much as look at them the wrong way, like the Basilisk and Devil-Eyed Johnny and assorted others. Or Lydia, if she so much as takes off her sunglasses in your vicinity, lol.

All of which means that anonymity is one of their greatest protections. As long as they’re safely within their particular Faetown, and they’re not directly associated with those who go to trade these various valuables with the outside world, some random criminal looking to kidnap the Changeling who makes precious gems and metals wouldn’t even know where to start even if they got someone within Bordertown itself and was able to hunt around looking for which Changeling that might be. Kid Midas is far from the only Changeling whose Change is related to precious minerals or kinda of artistic statuary, etc, and there’s several who look not too dissimilar to him but where touching their skin without permission is just as likely to turn you into a statue yourself.

So basically, as much as different people outside Bordertown gnash their teeth at not being able to just have direct access to any one particular Changeling on their terms, so long as they have something of a pipeline to the valuables they’re being offered in trade on the Changelings’ terms, its counter-productive and not worth the risk to most to possibly end up losing even that and gaining nothing to show for it, if they tried storming Bordertown and either accidentally killed the very Changeling they were looking for, or just ended up driving all of them further underground and into complete hiding instead. Doesn’t mean nobody’s ever tried or isn’t going to at some point, but for now, that status quo is holding.

And as such, even though what Kid Midas has to offer isn’t something that most of Bordertown is hugely interested in or in need of on an individual level, he’s still one of the more crucial Changelings in town, due to his role in keeping their emerging society the way it is and largely autonomous.

And then there are various Changelings whose magic lets them create artifacts or items with different kinds of imbued magic that can be utilized by others, plenty of potion-makers of different types, you’ve got that one Changeling with the magic tears and different kinds of teleporters/transportation magic, so on and so on.

Plus there’s also a thriving black market, since even within Bordertown and the various other Faetowns, there are divisions and internal strife…..plenty of Changelings are far from perfect angels, and as stated, there’s plenty of ways in which Changeling magic can be dark and dangerous and deadly, and there’s obviously a market for those things as well. But obviously none of the Faetowns really have distinct marketplaces or shops dedicated to these things, and its more sort of a ‘you have to know who to find/look for’ kinda thing. So for instance, within Bordertown, we’ve talked about how Theo is the largest presence in that kind of vein, and he has his group he’s gathered around him and they all operate out of that one restaurant he kinda called dibs on in the early days of Bordertown, so that’s where you go if you’re looking for something a bit more ‘frowned upon’ than the wares or services you’d find in the central market.

I tend to picture Theo’s restaurant as being on the outskirts of what the Changelings have kinda claimed as officially within Bordertown’s borders, making it easy for him and his people to duck in and out of town and meet with people outside the settlement, because they know there’s definitely a market there for them and many of their skills and magic…and they feel pretty safe and confident in doing so, because trying to snatch up one of them just because they’re outside the safety of Bordertown is a bit like having a deathwish. These tend to be among the most deadly of the Changelings and most of them would be more than capable of protecting themselves anywhere….they come to various Faetowns for the community and so they don’t have to constantly fend off attacks, but its not remotely because they can’t. So a number of the Changelings Theo’s surrounded himself with are in high demand as assassins, poison-creators, etc.

So among these you’ve got like, the Doppelganger, and Garrett with his autonomous shadow, and Tracy’s feathers that allow her to kill people in their dreams and Violet who’s a constantly shifting mix of human flesh and hallucinogenic cloud, almost impossible to keep your eyes on, let alone know where to even aim when trying to kill her or defend against her.

And last but not least, each of the major living spaces throughout Bordertown have a large floor to ceiling painting in the main area of their home. So like, there’s one in the Aerie, Scott has one in his ‘sheriff’s station’, Lydia pulled some strings and arranged to get one in her bar, as did Theo in his restaurant….Danny’s got one painted in materials expressly meant to be protected from underwater damage, in the heart of the subaquatic village. There’s one in Rose’s Garden, about a dozen others in all, scattered throughout the town and kept in the homes/care of the Changelings who all in all are considered the most influential, well known, most-looked to, and well, powerful and dangerous. They’ve deliberately spaced themselves out throughout the town so there’s one for every several streets or blocks, meaning in an event of an emergency, one of them is in fairly close reach to any and all Changelings and no one has to go far or run for long before reaching one.

The significance of these paintings is they were each painted by a Changeling named Paul, whose magic makes each of them a permanent portal or doorway to the scene/landscape depicted by the painting. They look like ordinary, albeit beautiful paintings, but any Changeling who knows what they are knows that the second they touch it, their own magic will resonate with the Changeling magic imbued in the painting. Which in turn turns it from a two-dimensional image to something that magically gains depth and perspective as the surface of it becomes intangible while the Changeling walks through it, until they emerge out the other side and it becomes just a painting again.

So each and every one of the paintings in question is an image of another Faetown, somewhere elsewhere in the world. And the unofficial leaders of Bordertown, basically everyone who has one of these paintings, offered the same in trade to any other Faetown that allowed them to paint one of their city/town. To be used as a last resort escape hatch should the Changelings in their town ever need to flee somewhere safe.

And each of the other Faetowns agreed, and so in return they got their own paintings by Paul, paintings of Faetown….depicting the very rooms that each of these Bordertown residents kept their own paintings in. So that they too could use their own paintings to escape to Bordertown if they needed to instead. By mutual agreement, every Changeling in possession of one of these paintings, across all the various Faetowns that have one now, all agreed that they never change hands from the Changeling they were initially given to, without notifying all the others first.

Thus, everyone who has one of these paintings acts not just as a guardian of it, ensuring the preservation and safe-keeping of a valuable escape hatch in case of emergency….but by the same token, they act as a first line of defense in case of anyone coming through a painting from the other side, that shouldn’t be.

Like, just in case worst ever comes to worst, and a Faetown was overrun by hostile forces who somehow found out what the paintings truly were and how they worked, and forced a Changeling to touch one to open up the way to an adjoining Faetown….even if some enemy somehow managed to hijack a painting portal and use it themselves, they’d still be emerging right in full view of basically the very Changelings who are most capable of defending themselves and just destroying any attackers, the second they determined “this is not a Changeling who should be using this doorway.”

Like, Lydia’s magic makes it pretty much impossible to catch her unaware, thanks to her constant retinue/crowd of Whispers, meaning anyone trying to coopt the portal leading to her bar is likely to find her already waiting for them, just standing there with her arms crossed and sighing because of how tedious this all is….before just taking off her sunglasses and annihilating them all with a look, lolol.

Also, being not just powerful but influential and in a leadership role in their Faetown’s society as well, the caretakers of each of the paintings are also the best positioned to immediately take charge of coordinating and helping Changeling refugees that suddenly start spilling out of the painting in their home without warning.

Anyway, so that’s the basics as of right now….with one addition. So going back to how I said the barter system as they have it right now is somewhat more complicated than it needs to be and can turn into a pretty intricate web of trades upon trades, even favors or debts made to one Changeling just to obtain something that they in turn can trade to the Changeling who has something they actually need?

Well, as I said, that has a lot to do with their ages and the fact that they’re just making this all up as they go along and don’t always have the best idea what they’re doing or anywhere to really look to for precedence.

But only part of it. There’s another way in which the very complexity of these arrangements is entirely intentional, as a kind of….test many of these Faetowns are conducting in concert.

See, like you suggested, it makes sense for the Changelings to naturally fall into a kind of barter system, given that they’re part Fae…..but that begets the chicken or the egg question.

Nobody knows why these particular kids were taken and Changed, let alone by whom or why, though Faeries is just as popular a theory as aliens. And the way so many Changelings seem predisposed to bargains and debts and trades is something others have noted and taken into account and added to their list of why they think Faeries have something to do with it, assuming that the things they can do now really are magic and not just Sufficiently Advanced Technology.

So nobody is oblivious to the possibility of Fae-involvement in this, least of all the Changelings themselves. I mean, there’s a reason Changelings so quickly became the most widely used slang to describe them.

But anyway, even noting they have that common personality trait among them, it still begs the question….which came first? The personality trait or the Change? Meaning….was the fact that they were all already predisposed to things like that, had a certain way of thinking along those lines, was that part of the reason why they in particular were taken and Changed in the first place? Was that part of the criteria for whomever took them, were they looking to Change individuals of certain mindsets, personality types, perhaps those with outlooks or perspectives or ways of thinking similar to the Fae folk of old?

Or was it the other way around, and this tendency of theirs is an addition or alteration of their pre-existing outlooks and personalities, a Change every bit as much as their physical Changes and magical gifts? The end result of some forces trying to make them more like the Fae, in mind as well as body and magic?

The thing is, even the Changelings themselves don’t know….and they don’t like that. Many of them are constantly looking into their origins, trying to figure out what happened to them, who did it, and to what end, using their magic, combing through ancient lore from various cultures, etc. The one thing most all of them agree on is that they very much don’t like this blindspot hanging over them like a Sword of Damocles. There’s a lot of cynicism in various Faetowns, due to the circumstances that led most of them to run away or seek out a community like them rather than stay where they were in the first place.

So the popular sentiment is that nobody tends to do things for free, and they’re wary of anyone who has the power to take them and Change them on such a massive scale, worldwide, imbue them with such vast powers themselves in a lot of individuals….without a clue who that anyone might have been and why they did this. What do they want out of the Changelings themselves, or want them to do, because….who knows if its something the Changelings are going to be on board with…or have the power to resist, given the likely power of whomever their unknown ‘benefactors’ might have been.

And in the very early days of the Changeling settlements, when they were first seeking others out and coming together in large numbers, sharing these concerns with each other….their tendencies towards making barters, trades, deals….that definitely was something they’d noticed by now, once they had enough other Changelings to compare and contrast themselves too. Most agreed that they didn’t feel that different in that regard than they had before their Changes, like they felt like the same person as always so they didn’t think it was some new trait transplanted to all their personalities….but they also agreed that with that said, there was a slightly more…intense nature to it now. Not just like they were naturally inclined to barter and make deals and take a quid pro quo outlook to life….but there was a vague….something underlying it now, like an additional instinct almost.

With them also noting to each other, on a related note, that they’d pretty much all universally disliked ever being in someone’s debt…owing someone something….but since they returned Change, there was an added intensity to that tendency of theirs too. It was almost like they each felt an instinctive…revulsion, to the idea of being in someone’s debt. It wasn’t a full on compulsion or anything, it didn’t override their decision making or anything like that….but it was just this gut feeling most of them had that for some reason, it felt unnatural to be in someone’s debt. To owe someone for something. On a bone-deep level, they all seemed to instinctively shy away from that, as though their bodies and minds were warning them for some reason that wasn’t good for them.

And this too matched up with a lot of lore about Fae in various cultures, that part of the whole reason behind Fae gifts was that the Fair Folk can’t stand being in a mortal’s debt, that its a form of powerlessness for them….debts unpaid held some sort of magical significance to them, not just cultural….so they would try and resist or refrain from being in another’s debt by any trickery or other means possible.

So when running through the various possibilities as to the origins of their Changes and who might have done it and why, and what they might want from the Changelings in the long run, like when building their various settlements around the world and birthing their own new and distinct societies….it was agreed this was one of the possibilities at the top of their lists for various reasons, and so they factored that in.

And so the overly complicated barter system and web of favors and bargains and debts they all developed some form of, became a kind of….longterm test and the foundation for a possible defense against their unknown benefactors trying to exert control over them at a later date. Just in case. With the Changelings leaning into offering each other favors, bargains, putting themselves in debt to each other as part of their barter system, just as often as they kept things simple and even one on one trades.

Like, even though this defied their very instincts, that they all felt that instinctive revulsion each time they made a bargain, agreed they owed another Changeling a favor, bound themselves to another with a promise to come to their aid if they should ever need in the future, in exchange for the other doing this thing for them now….

This offered them two things:

First, it allowed them to use themselves as a kind of group experiment, a trial run testing out how far this dislike of longterm bargains and debts went with them, and what the potential longterm consequences were, of say, having a longstanding debt to another, a favor they’d let go years without paying in full, a promise with no real and definitive end date, etc. They figured they’d rather find out any potential consequences this held for them, by not following their instincts and shying away from these sort of arrangements….like, if anything was going to manifest further down the line as an actual consequence to things like being in someone’s debt or owing someone a favor or promise….

Well, it seemed to all of them it would at least be better to have the individual on the other end of that debt or favor or promise or oath be a member of their own community, in the same boat as them, with mutual understandings that it was in all of their best interests to not try and utilize these hypothetical consequences against them, or exert any power being in each other’s debts held over them, if it turned out to hold real, magical power over them in some fashion.

And secondly, again - they’d been discussing among themselves all along, what would be the potential endgame of their Changes, what would anyone stand to gain from just….bestowing them with all these various magical Changes and abilities, making some of them extraordinarily powerful, with magic that theoretically could be turned on the gift-givers themselves if they ever came calling and wanted something of them that the Changelings did not want to give.

With it occurring to some of them, in these hushed councils among themselves in those very early days post-Change….that suppose favors, bargains and such did hold magical significance for them now, thanks to their Changes and their own magic. Suppose that being in someone’s debt was something they instinctively felt resistant to, that it was best to shy away from if at all possible…..that like those stories about the Fae Folk, debts could be a kind of binding, that owing someone or something could turn into an obligation to see them paid back in full for whatever they’d given you first...

That because they were in some way or to some degree part Fae themselves now, assuming that there was some connection between them and whatever beings were chronicled in these old legends and stories…..that their new Fae natures were the part of them that was trying to tell them body and mind that they absolutely did not want to be bound to anyone, be obligated, to owe anyone in some form...

Because, following that train of thought….if that were true to any degree, on any level….imagine some beings of some kind imbued you with great powers, magic and Changes that made you stand out as different, but also made it possible to find others like yourself, form communities of yourselves, pool your various magics to decisively protect yourselves from those who would seek to harm or exploit you because of your new gifts. Gifts which you in concert with others like you could use to further empower yourselves and build lives and communities for yourselves that left you vastly better off than you were before, or would be without them. Given that all of you that found yourselves Changed still only wound up having to leave home and seek out others like yourselves because your home was less than inviting to begin with, and actively hostile or apathetic after your Change was revealed.

Well, they concluded, if those beings were to then just sit back and wait while you utilized the gifts they’d given you to empower yourselves and enrich your own lives, build communities far more to your benefit than those which you came from…..

It seemed the longer those beings waited before revealing themselves, the more you became accustomed to using their gifts and becoming one with them, just as you became more accustomed to being one with your new communities….the more you felt grateful for being who you were now, post-Change, with your true potential revealed, with your magic making you autonomous, capable and powerful, with your community now one you couldn’t imagine being without….

The more in debt you would end up being to these mysterious gift-givers.

And once someone arrived at that conclusion, the mere possibility of it was unsettling to every single Changeling who heard it theorized. It wasn’t at all an implausible scenario, even if they certainly couldn’t prove it true or rule out other possibilities….but they pretty much all agreed it was a possibility they had to prepare for…..because if it did turn out to be realized, if being in these beings’ debt did end up binding them to them, making them obligated to them….well, how would they be able to fight or resist that?

It wasn’t like they could pretend they hadn’t already been given great gifts via their new magic, or like they could just refuse to use these gifts, especially since many of them were needed in order to defend or protect themselves from those who viewed them as targets or prey because of their Changes, many of which weren’t easy to hide.

And so they eventually came up with their ‘overly complicated’ barter system with its sometimes completely unnecessary web of bargains, promises, favors and debts owed all throughout their communities, seemingly baffling in its complexity and intricacies…all while leaning into these natural or amped up tendencies towards barters and bargains and just with the spillage over into the unnatural debts and binding promises plausibly seeming to be just the unintentional results of their youth and lack of knowledge or experience with such matters.

While in reality….the Changelings have this whole time been using their barter system and promises and debts to each other to quietly test their own natures and possible ramifications these things had on their magic…..trying to little by little feel their way through the ins and outs of the ‘rules’ that might come with or govern the magic they’d been given without an actual manual to go along with it. Using themselves to test the limits of their magic-imbued bargains and how far they could stretch things….and to practice the trickery the Fae in all the old stories so often employed to try and weasel their way out of their debts or promises.

And underlying all else….their ultimate Hail Mary, should their mysterious benefactors ever appear at some point and try and exert power over them by ‘calling in their unpaid debts’ for the gifts given to them,’ cite that as proof the Changelings all owed them their allegiance or obedience and potentially back that up with magical compulsions or bindings….

Because should that day ever arrive, the Changelings of various Faetowns all across the world were prepared to fight anyone trying to claim they owed them anything, for gifts they’d never asked for and certainly hadn’t been offered guidance on how to make the most of, even while they’d been made targets just for having them….

And their weapon of choice for fighting any possible coercion later down the line, any claims towards owing mystical unpaid obligations….

Was to be prepared to have counterclaims in place to push back with….to weaken the hold initial and unasked for debts held over them….by drawing upon the strength of the bonds and favors, promises made and debts owed….

To each other. Members of their own communities. To their communities as a whole.

So at the end of the day, the barter system isn’t just their quid pro quo arrangement that acts as their own particular version of their economy.

Its also their protective armor of obligations they willingly and with full knowledge of what it meant, made to each other and their communities.

That they were prepared to uphold as more powerful, binding, and compelling than any other debts others tried to hold over their heads. Try and call in past favors we owe you all you want, they decided in regards to their mysterious ‘benefactors’ years ago. Guess we’ll see how much weight that holds compared to what we owe each other, who have been right here at our sides helping us, building with us, the whole time.

#changelings 'verse

4 notes · View notes

neshabeingchildish · 5 years

Text

Poly Wanna? Ch.5

Doing confession in bold to see how this goes. I may not set chapters up in "reality TV format" but I had a couple of things that I wanted to do in that style just to see. I be trying out stuff sometimes. Forgive me for being a whole trash can.

Lemme know if I need to take you off the tag. Idk who’s actually reading because I’ve only heard from a couple of people, so idk if y’all still interested (or if y’all’ll be after this MESSY shiz in this chapter.

@adorkable-blackgirl @chenoahchantel @ciara-knightly @cactus-con @up-the-tube @riebellion @itsyaapollochild@oof–musicals @lesbian-so-what @woahjusttakeiteasy-man @meadowstryingtobepretty @imma-sensitive-btch @okaygal21 @midernacht @divinereign4ever @xoxoemille

Here is the song from the bar: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6iibMNsSRCE

And, the Drama Begins

Jasper wanted to have one more Girls Day with the Hartbroken Club before filming started, but the production team felt like that was actually a perfect place to begin recording him. Of course, he couldn't see it in progress. The thought of doing things for six months then having to wait another six months before even seeing it and probably being a completely different person in another year… that was a little terrifying.

But, the team had made a filming schedule and decided to start out with Jasper for the beginning of the show for a few reasons: 1. He was the longest friendship that Henry Hart has ever had. 2. He was the most likable person that they currently had on the cast. And 3. They weren't convinced that he and Henry were over each other and felt like establishing that on camera, early on would be a wonderful bang to begin with.

Henry hadn't been in a serious relationship since he and Jasper broke up a few years prior and there must've been a reason that it also took Jasper a long time to move on and when he did, it was with Henry's ex. They were pretty much convinced that either the relationship was a ruse to get to Henry, or one or both of them were lying to themselves about how one another felt.

Also, unknown to Jasper, they had reasons that they wanted to see Charlotte face to face with Bianca and Chloe. If the cast members weren't telling each other certain things, that was fine for the production team. They had a feeling that they knew how to start with a hefty dosage of mess from something that Charlotte had admitted in her interview when asked how she felt about being on screen with Henry's other exes. They had a feeling that Jasper didn't know this little piece of information. It would bring in good ratings at the start of the program...

Jasper's confession/testimony room was in his bedroom, where he interviewed, but with a much better camera set up. They gave Jasper a list of things that they wanted him to share with the confession camera: Why do you go to these outings with Chloe and Bianca? Is all of this because of your connection to Henry? How does Charlotte feel about it?

He sighed and set the paper down. "Those don't have to be recorded right now," Grumpy Cat said. "But, I'd say maybe do a short introduction for your first voiceover."

"Can it not be the stuff from the interview? Because I can guarantee you that whatever I said then is all that I'll come up with if I sit in that chair."

"Sure. I don't care." He rolled his eyes and walked off.

Jasper waited until he was gone to start his confession. "My name is Jasper Dunlop. I'm 28, he/him/his pronouns, cis, but not het. Ummm… Bisexual, not entirely sure of what it means to be pan, so I don't absorb that title. I have a beautiful girlfriend of about 7 months now. We live together and decided to take this weird journey with our ex-best friend and mutual ex boyfriend.." That probably sounds like we dated him at the same time, which technically… I mean, depending on how you look at it… Henry was definitely still in love with Charlotte when he and Jasper… Jasper looked at the paper then at the camera again.

"I go to these outings with Chloe and Bianca, who also dated Henry because when we broke up, it was my chance to vent, but now I just love having spa days. That's good stuff. This time, we're bringing Charlotte along. She wants to go for spa stuff. She couldn't really care about the whole Henry angle. She got over him better than any of us did, I think, especially considering that theirs was a much more serious relationship… Honestly, Char just deserves a good relaxing day. She hasn't had a great year."

Charlotte and Jasper came to the spa and Chloe and Bianca were waiting inside. "Hi!" Both girls cheered. Charlotte smiled, but didn't rush to hug them like Jasper had. They came to hug her, though. She smiled a little. "My God, you look amazing! What do you do for your skin? Your hair is divine! Omg, this dress is so cute! You smell great…" Her smile tensed up with all the overdoing going on here.

But, she had given a confession that would surely be used when this was aired…

"I don't know if Bianca and Chloe know that I know that they're two of the women who Henry was paying attention to behind my back. I don't know if they know that I know that pix were sent and that a threesome was discussed. But I know that I know, and both those girls better watch how they handle me."

In the spa, Charlotte said, "Okay! I'm not a collectible doll and neither of you are at a petting zoo." She bumped past them and asked for a price list, which she took to studying as Jasper confusedly resumed speaking to the girls about their usual plan.

She wondered, to the woman at the counter, "Just wondering about this Henry Hartbreak Plan… I think I want it, but is there a way to take off certain services for a discounted price? For instance… I don't do tanning beds…"

"Are you Charlotte?" The woman asked. Now, the whole group was paying attention. Charlotte raised an eyebrow, reluctant to answer, "I've got whatever your services are covered."

"What? Why?" Charlotte asked suspiciously. She had been broke for a few years and nobody ever gave her anything for free in her life.

"We have card information and instructions to let you whatever you need, if you are."

"What card information?"

"Dr. Henry Hart." Charlotte almost refused, but you know what? Eff it. He owed her at least one spa day, and the looks on both Bianca and Chloe's faces were worth it as the girl behind the counter read, "Charlotte Page. Special instructions. Whatever she orders, charge it to this card." The woman looked worried, like she'd said something wrong.

"Okay then, but can I still skip the tanning bed? I like to tan like nature intended, basking in the sun…"

Jasper spoke to the confession camera about this, "It was troubling to me that Henry was paying for Charlotte's way, but a little more troubling that she accepted. Because, I'd offered her and she declined. But he offered and..." he shrugged his shoulders, but his eyes were stressed.

Charlotte had a wonderful time, but avoided the girls and by association, Jasper most of the time. It wasn't really his fault, but she just preferred to focus on her experience there. "Honestly, I didn't go there to bond with Chloe or Bianca and I didn't go there to confront them about old stuff. I went for a spa day. They had their little girl's day. Charlotte had her spa day, AND it was free." On the way home, she reclined the seat and said, "I'm probably gonna sleep."

"Are you tired from all the energy it must've taken you to ignore everybody all day?" He said, jokingly.

"Nope. It took none. It was as natural as breathing. That's an awesome spa! My skin feels glorious." She said. "I loved those lavender lemonade spritzers."

"Too rich for my blood," he muttered.

"Should've told me. I'd have gotten you some on Henry's dime." Jasper took a deep breath. "You okay, Jasper?" She poked him a little in the side, playfully, trying to get him to look at her.

"I don't feel comfortable with what happened today."

"Why? I got a free spa day and you got your day with your little friends. Everybody won."

"For one, they were trying to be nice and you were kind of rude to them, then you refused to interact with any of us. Why did you come when we did and not some other time if you didn't want to be there with us?"

"Next time I won't. Sorry for how it affected you," she said and rubbed his shoulder.

He sighed. He wanted to say it was no big deal and move on, but that was the kind of stuff that got his heart in trouble with Henry. "Now, I feel like you're dismissing it."

"I am, because you're wrong, but if it's how you feel, who are me to judge?" She laughed to herself about her silly reference. He didn't get it. He looked stressed and she didn't want that at all. She honestly didn't think it would matter to him that she stayed to herself, because they were both pretty independent in this relationship. He seemed like he was upset, so she added, "I wasn't trying to ignore you. I thought that was better than me being bitchy towards those girls. I won't mess up your next date with them, as long as you aren't talking playfully or otherwise about having a threesome with them."

"Why would I be?"

She shrugged her shoulders, "Henry did." Jasper squinted and looked at her sideways.

"What?"

"This story never got back to you?" He shook his head. "Okay. Wow. Well, whenever Henry and I had our last little blow up, one of the contention sources was his group chat with Bianca and Chloe and very inappropriate things being said and done there, one of which quote unquote just joking about having a threesome with them."

"I… did not know that. Henry didn't really ever want to say much about what happened between you and him. Just that it was his fault and that you left him."

"And in the past year or so you've been hanging with them they never mentioned it?"

"They mentioned that something happened after you two broke up, but nothing about causing it."

"Wait, something happened, like what? Like the threesome?"

"I mean… would it matter at this point? Are you still hurt?"

"To be honest, I didn't really deal with my heartbreaking. I just moved along, focused on school until I was ready to see other people socially, and I guess in the anger and blocking and stuff… maybe I am still hurt…"

"I don't know. But whether or not I am, I didn't like how they approached me either, so I still wouldn't have been interested, even if I didn't have those being my last memories of them."

"Why didn't you tell me this before? Like.. why come to this and then tell me afterwards?"

"I thought it would be petty to bring it up to you, at all. But, just now, you looked upset and I hate seeing you upset. I wanted to explain myself. I didn't think I'd be as dismissive of them when I got there as I was. I'm sorry."

He pulled over and gave her a hug. "I'm sorry. That's really messed up that you went through that. That would never happen with me."

"I'm Charlotte. Part science whiz, part art hoe, part witchy bitch, sarcastic, realistic, and just passionate about the things that I'm into. I came here for no other reason than for people to be able to see sides of me that I don't necessarily talk about. I know that this is about Henry, but that's not why I'm here." Charlotte was doing yoga in the living room, then made some juice and went outside to watch the sunrise.

Whenever Jasper saw her do it for the first time, he waited for her to come back in and asked, "Is that a you and Henry thing?"

"Nothing is a me and Henry thing," she said, laughing. Jasper had stepped out onto the balcony with Henry before and Henry asked him not to interrupt that time. It was his special alone time with the sun. Jasper thought it was weird, but gave him the space. So, seeing Charlotte do the very same thing had been deja vu. But, instead of being hard on him, she'd asked, "You ever wanna join me? I know you're not usually up so early…"

"I'd love to!" He said, then never woke up for it. Sometimes, if he left the bar super late, he'd still be awake when she got up. To be perfectly honest, watching her do yoga was more interesting to him than watching the sunrise, but there was something in how she watched it, something in how Henry had watched it that made Jasper feel like he understood them both better now. He didn't. He couldn't put his finger on it. But, he was just… kinda really fond of them in some of the same ways.

"You know, Henry does this every morning, too. That was why I'd asked if it was a you and him thing."

"It's a me thing that rubbed off on him."

"There was a lot, I think. I didn't realize that was your influence, but living with you after living with him…"

She smiled a little, "Well, he and I have to have both changed enough to where I don't remind you too much of him?"

"Yeah, there's a lot of very clear differences. Like, the bathroom! He keeps all his bathroom stuff in a bag and puts it out when he's in there and puts it away when he leaves."

"Yeah, because if he has to get out and go, he needs those things to go with him. He and Ray went on a… business trip suddenly and we're there for over a week. He came back and kept insisting his skin was in shambles." She laughed. "He was so ashy! I didn't even know that could happen to him, but he's got a kinda dark white complexion, so I guess." Jasper laughed too, recalling that. THAT was why he did that?

"Of course, you don't even care. You just spread your things all over my bathroom before you ever even moved in! I'd go in to find my toothpaste and there's women's stuff, beauty stuff, all those oils and stuff.."

"You're welcome. Don't think I don't notice you using my stuff."

"It's high quality stuff!"

"I have something for you!" She rushed to get a pretty bottle, that looked sort of like a genie bottle and handed it to him. "I blended this juice especially for you."

He tried some and shrugged. "Pretty good."

"It will help with some things…" she smiled and kissed him on the cheek.

"Don't leave me in suspense. What things?"

"Jasper has bruh… I don't know how else to say it… very off-putting semen. It's super bitter - WAY more tart than it should be. I know that his diet is part of the problem, but I can't really, you know… change his diet for him. This is one of the things that I do, though. Juices, herbs, soaks, whatever… we can get him tasting right. I'm not gonna keep trying to figure out what to do with that swamp gunk!"

Charlotte answered, "Your output. This will help with it."

"I have no idea what that means."

"I'll LOVE it, okay?"

"Good enough for me." She gave him a peck on the lips, then went to go get cleaned up for the rest of her day. *Shows off the bottle "Look at how gorgeous this thing is. I don't even know what it's made out of, but it's beautiful and the juice tastes magical."

Jasper showed up while Henry was watering plants. He'd left the door open. "Heyyy!" Henry cheered. "Jasper's here, ladies," he said to a group of flowers.

"Yo. Oh! Is it still watering time?" He backed away, getting ready to leave the place, in peace.

"Yeah, it's all good." Jasper raised an eyebrow. "Things have changed, Jasp. I'm not as mean as before… or as abusive." His eyes fell and he shook his head. He was honestly horrible to Jasper.

"I wouldn't call it abusive. You just were snappy about your boundaries."

"Yeah, but when you have so many boundaries…"

"Speaking of, sometimes I watch the sunrise with Char. She told me that you got that from her."

Henry smiled sadly, "Keep living. She'll put things on you too."

"Yeah! She makes me special juice and puts it in this beautiful bottle for me!" He held out the bottle to Henry.

"What's in it?"

Jasper took a swig, "Like.. bananas, something tropical, citrusy.." he took another, "Different flavors. My palate is getting a lot."

"May I?" Jasper reluctantly handed it over and Henry beautifully took a sip. How was he so damn hot, just drinking from a bottle? He swished it in his mouth, swallowed, smacked his lips and said, "I've got papaya, cinnamon, peppermint… celery…" He snapped his fingers, "This is for your semen." He handed the bottle back. "To help it taste better for her."

"What?" Jasper hugged the bottle close to himself, scandalized.

"I mean, sure those things have other properties, so it could be anything, but my vote is on semen, because yours was always super strong tasting and she doesn't like flavors like that. Knowing her, she'd give you something to help without straight up saying, this is for this problem that I've noticed… Because, she feels like we ignore her when she does that."

"My output!" Jasper said, embarrassed.

Henry laughed, then apologized. "I remember her telling me, I got you something! Then showing me my very first konjac sponge. Apparently, I needed to exfoliate, especially my lips, which got really dry and licking them only wet them, not moisturized them." Henry laughed. "I do a routine flush to keep that down below good to go, though, especially if I'm expecting to engage. You let her down there with...just whatever? DId you not notice her wince or anything?"

"I don't wanna talk sex with Charlotte with you, Henry. You understand."

"Sure. Well, you ready to run?"

"No! But I agreed to it, so…""Charlotte is super healthy. Henry is super healthy. Henry is gonna be around because we're doing this show, so… I want to look better than I've been looking. I look great! Don't think I'm self conscious. I just know that I could stand to try to be in better shape, especially with the weirdness of Charlotte and Henry and me. Henry said that I could come with him on his morning runs. I hate running, but I've gotta start somewhere, I guess." The two of them were lightly jogging. Jasper fell behind a few times and told Henry not to worry, but he'd slow down every time.

"Jasper running is kinda comical, kinda adorable. He seems like he might die and that's sad, but his facial expressions and the stuff he yells out just make it hard not to smile."

"Running is what they get you to do when you wake up in Hell!" Jasper toppled over. Jasper poured a jug of water down his shirt. Jasper nearly collapsed. "Why would people choose to do this any time after like, age 6?" Jasper rested his hands on his knees, then fell forward, then lied down in the grass. "You should go on without me. I've been out here too long." Henry jogged next to him as he caught his breath. Henry checked his watch. "Okay, Buddy. It's been like 8 minutes…"

"PERIOD?" "Jasper is not a runner."

Henry made a mental note to simply work out later. After 20 minutes, Jasper was ready to die. "Come on. I'll get you something to eat and we can sit down for a while." Henry placed Jasper on his shoulder and said, "Maybe a gym. A treadmill? You could better control the volume and speed. We'll look into that."

"Henry and I used to work out all the time. I started going to the gym with him when he and Charlotte broke up. He would go more frequently, trying to blow off stress I think and I went along because he was mentally in a bad spot and I didn't want him to be alone. I got a membership back then and we went and talked and worked out and I was in my best shape at that time. I was hot. Ouch!"

Charlotte wasn't home whenever Jasper got back, but he texted her about spending the afternoon with Henry. Once they were out and about again, they just flowed well. And, they'd spent time together before he and Charlotte, so they would likely do so again. He looked at the countertop in the kitchen and Charlotte had left him this cute jumbo organza bag with a drawstring and a note, "Put together a blend of oatmeal, epsom salts, fragrances, flowers, herbs and essential oils for the soreness that you'll surely have when you get home. Love you!" Jasper held his heart over his chest, "She's honestly so thoughtful. Like… She talks to you mean, but literally nobody in my life has ever anticipated that I might be sore and made me a bath soak for it." He was blushing, uncontrollably.

Henry pulled out all the 'Steal Yo Girl' stops for his visit to the lounge that Jasper and Charlotte were working at. Neither of them were expecting him, but he knew where they worked and decided that he would go to socialize and smize at them. He had on a button down shirt, with the buttons open at the top, a floral jacket, silk to be exact, his eyebrows, hairdo, skin and teeth groomed to perfection. Jasper had spent a lot of time with him earlier. They had brunch and found a gym to join together and Henry was able to finish up his run on the treadmill, while Jasper preferred a comfortable walk on the one next to it. They had a good time. Henry felt good about them, but Charlotte was still out of his reach.

He came in and saw a little flier that said that Charlotte was singing tonight. He didn't even know that she sung here. He thought she said she was a waitress. He headed for the bar to order a drink and this music started and a sweet singing voice that made him turn around and stare. She was just in a silhouette, but he knew her form, even holding a guitar. "When we first collided -The timing wasn't right. I showed you the signs. You disappeared into the shadows. Now you're back again, Telling me you do. You do…" She came from the darkness into the dim light of the room, continuing. He was transfixed, but everyone was.

Charlotte wore a figure hugging shimmering gold dress that showcased her gorgeous legs, strap up shoes, and her hair pulled up, adorned with gold accents and some extensions that made her kinda look like that suitoress in Coming to America. She kicked her leg up when she got to the chorus, "I've been to the moon. Don't tempt me. I've been where you are. God help me…" Jasper and Charlotte seemed to both notice Henry at the same time, or maybe Jasper noticed him after she focused in on someone in the audience… "I've been to the moon and stars for you, and now it's your turn to go for me too…" Henry was drawing closer to the stage when he felt a hand squeeze his shoulder and broke his trance. Jasper.

"Hey.. you didn't tell me that Char was singing tonight!"

"I didn't expect to see you here, so I'm not sure why I would've. She has good vocals and can play guitar, so sometimes she does this for extra cash when they can't book anybody." Jasper smiled and folded his arms, trying not to look Henry over and failing. "What are you doing here?"

"Wanted to have a few drinks." They headed for the bar and Jasper was ready to serve. "What's this song she's singing?"

"Ummm.. it's Corinne Bailey Rae, I think. She's doing some of that tonight and some Esperanza Spalding, Marsha Ambrosious… You know…"

"Charshit," they both said at the same time. Henry ordered his drink then stared at her some more before Jasper interrupted, "If I didn't know any better, I'd think you still wanted her." Henry blinked out of it and turned in his seat towards Jasper with a soft smile. "I want her not to hate me. We never got a chance to get to that point. She crossed me off and didn't look back. I spent years trying to get over that."

"Over the fact that someone was strong enough to leave you?" Jasper teased

Henry studied his glass for a while, before admitting, "Over the fact that the one person I always thought would never, had."

"The one person…" Jasper reeled in his sympathy to say, "Well when you're planning threesomes with your exes while you're dating, executing aforementioned threesome when you break up, and then inviting all of them to your shit show, I'm not sure how you expect her to forgive you any time soon."

Henry rubbed the temples of his head, shot the rest of his drink, and gestured for another. Jasper rolled his eyes at the fact that he went silent when called on his BS. Earlier today, he thought he'd changed. When he set down Henry's drink, Henry said, "I want everything out of the way. All the dirt dealt with… everything drudged up and maybe we can put all the shit behind us."

"Says the shit starter," Jasper said. He leaned on the bar, kinda close to Henry's face, "If that's what you want, just say it. Stop playing games."

Henry smiled and said, "I feel like that's going to be used completely out of context when this airs." He booped his nose, laughed, and turned away from Jasper to watch Charlotte finish her set and nurse his drink. "Charlotte said everything that she needed to say to me whenever she left me. She had some valid reasons. She was well within her right and it was the best thing for her to do for her. I always thought that whenever somebody messes up, you work on it, forgive, maybe even forget. My parents have been together for like 30 years and I know that there's been infidelity and other troubles, but they never leave each other and they've never even considered a divorce, and I guess that I thought that when you love someone, there's a lot of room to make mistakes. That… wasn't what I believed after that break up and I felt like I had an epiphany that I was never going to have any great love, because I had one and I messed up."

Charlotte came off of the stage and looked Henry up and down then said, very firmly, cutting off whatever cheery compliments that he was about to give her, "Listen. If you're gonna go after my man, all up in my face, I should tell you that you're not the only one with some fight training."

Henry scoffed and Jasper handed her a drink, "He's not, Babe."

"Don't come up in here trying to look like a meal and getting all up on Jasper, smiling and booping his nose and shit!" She snapped at Henry.

"Wow. You misread all of that," Henry said.

"You misread!" She snapped. "Jasper is a nice person and he has a hard time telling people to shove off. I don't. He doesn't want you anymore, Hen, You messed that up."

"I know that," Henry said, shot the rest of his current drink and threw some money on the counter, "Sorry for the misunderstanding. We still on for the gym?"

"Uhh... " Jasper looked at Charlotte, tapping her foot angrily and clenching her glass in her fingers. "I don't know. I'll call you in the morning." He rubbed Charlotte's shoulder and said, "He wasn't flirting with me."

"I know. You were flirting with him," She said and drank her drink.

"No, I wasn't. I was confronting him about the way that he was looking at you!"

"You had to be nose to nose with him to do so?" She slammed her glass down and said, "Jasper… I'm not going to be any man's fool."

"I would never. I'm tired of you not trusting me."

"Should we take a break? You're certainly not tired of Henry. You were with him all day and now he's here tonight?"

"He just showed up!"

"And you decided to fawn all over him right in my goddamn face, Jasper!"

"I noticed that he looked nice, but I wasn't… I don't want Henry, and hell no I don't want to take a break!"

Henry bit his lip and looked at the camera. "I think that I started a fight between them.." He left the bar, stifling a chuckle. It wasn't funny, but he couldn't help it. He actually had not meant to do that, at all. He didn't know how he was gonna fix it, but probably invite them both over for dinner to clarify what he was doing there.

#Poly Wanna #Nesha HD Fics #henry danger #henry hart #charlotte page #jasper dunlop #hd ot3

10 notes · View notes

feralhogs · 5 years

Note

1-50 ho

you got it ho

1. What’s your favorite candle scent?

I AM SO GLAD YOU ASKED. ive been Purchasing various smelly candles for my gay divination activities, and i have a few nominees. i first thought of the candle i have now, a pink one with a very sweet vanilla smell, i love very sweet smells because it makes me think of candy which i tend to try to fill my inner void with. however im going to go with the first candle i bought, a dark orange one with a citrus smell. citrus scents are my next favourite and specifically this one reminded me of curiously smelling candles at my piano teachers apartment when i was very young.

2. What female celebrity do you wish was your sister?

idk. ive been listening to her lion king stuff lately. dont judge me i needed to hear remixes of lion king music i was lost in that sauce in high school. and i just think shes neat. i dont think she would aggressively make me feel bad about everything, UNLIKE SOME PEOPLE

3. What male celebrity do you wish was your brother?

Look……. i really don’t know???? what is the criteria?? do they need to be like my siblings? dare i criticize my arguably criticizable siblings by picking out my ideal siblings? if i pick an ideal sibling, what does that say about what im lacking in my life? do i pick celebrities i hate so theoretically my family shames them into becoming silent and self-defeating

4. How old do you think you’ll be when you get married?

50. i think im going to have to figure myself out for a long time, and achieve some personal goals first. thats my excessively confident prediction and PERHAPS educated guess

5. Do you know a hoarder?

nnnnnoooooooo????? not a real, cant function because of hoarding hoarder. i can see in a few family members, including myself, liking to hang onto things that maybe become sentimental/unnecessary clutter but that sounds like something many non-hoarders experience?

6. Can you do a split?

lemme try one sec

7. How old were you when you learned how to ride a bike?

Idk maybe 7? Or 11? i think my parents taught me at a children age and then i started biking for fun like, later, like pre middle school?

8. How many oceans have you swam in?

1. i dont really remember swimming in an ocean but i may have faded childhood memories of salty water and seaweed

9. How many countries have you been to?

2… i went to idaho for a band trip… my dad really doesnt like travelling

10. Is anyone in your family in the army?

HAHAHA

NO. ACTUALLY YES. but its funny because the specific brand of christianity we are supposed to be is super pacifist so ive heard. but then i remembered one dude apparently who joined the us military?????? it seemed like it was… an unusual choice. i dont really know anything else about this guy, not even his name

11. What would you name your daughter if you had one?

🙏 *inhale* buddy. oooooohhffffff i want to say something gender neutral honestly. i dont want to rock the boat being unconventional or something but im just thinking of all those years trying to live up to a feminine name

12. What would you name your son if you had one?

same i guess… why have i never thought about this????? was i preoccupied naming myself.

13. What’s the worst grade you got on a test?

hmmmmm hmmmmm trying to unlock the vault. i think i remember a 1 or a 0 on a math quiz. i think i got 30% or something very very bad (i dont even want to know) on my last english exam, but to be fair, i was having such a bad mental breakdown my professor did an intervention

14. What was your favorite TV show when you were a child?

like a very very small child? i was obsessed with the save-ums (?!?!?) for some reason. i would sing the anthem… no. theme song? i dont know. i guess it was catchy and there were lots of fun characters. OHHHH I SEE WHATS WRONG

ITS BECAUSE WE ONLY HAD A TV TILL I WAS LIKE 5 OR SOMETHING. what are you cultured people watching as children? what are the shows?

15. What did you dress up as on Halloween when you were eight?

>:(

My Halloween experience:

i dont even remember i probably had some kind of fairy wings? i think i remember fairy wings. we went to one (1) house. later on, since we werent allowed to go trick-or-treating, we were each allotted a certain amount of candy, and if we ate more than a designated amount per day, we were in trouble and wouldnt be allowed anymore. i do remember getting in trouble for this. i think i stole someones candy. sibling against sibling. finally we were allowed to go trick or treating, i went with my younger brothers and by then, was a teenager and felt too tall and really uncomfortable

LMAO I JUST REMEMBERED THAT LAST TIME WE WENT TRICK-OR-TREATING NOT IN A RURAL AREA, my dad drove us around in a van and watched us like a hawk i believe. it was very tense and methodical.

16. Have you read any of the Harry Potter, Hunger Games or Twilight series?

i read the harry potter series (I WROTE SIBLIGS LOL) more times than i could count while growing up. i read the first hunger games book and didnt fancy it for whatever reason, and i had an obnoxious twilight-hating phase.

17. Would you rather have an American accent or a British accent?

sometimes, though, im really genuinely worried about what accent i do have. im worried i read so much harry potter growing up, it rubbed off on me. when i was a server, people would ask about an unusual accent i apparently had, and once, when i was talking to a super british guy who called me luv at walmart, he was like STOP. WAIT. YOU HAVE A BRITISH ACCENT. and i was like WHAT UHHH BYEBYE AND HE WAS LIKE NO. I HEARD YOU. STOP and i was like that michael jackson meme where he covers his face running away and everyone else in the line was staring

18. Did your mother go to college?

i believe she went to a bible college where people put a grand piano on top of the roof.

19. Are your grandparents still married?

all of my grandparents are dead.

…. hmmMMMM yow. ok. my grandparents who werent estranged stayed married for as long as either of them were living… however, my OTHER grandparents, i mean the fucking kidnappers, my abuser grandpa… remarried? when he was… really really aging. im judging him for it because i know what kind of person he was.

20. Have you ever taken karate lessons?

I WISH. my parents didnt seem to like that sort of thing (surprise). im interested in it now but… as usual… i feel like its too late, im too old.

21. Do you know who Kermit the frog is?

….. i… i thought i did… hes blessed… thats all.

22. What’s the first amusement park you’ve been to?

ಠ_ಠ

*crickets*

how could you ask me this?

no wait! i went to the waterslides. then, later on, i was never allowed to go to the waterslides.

23. What language, besides your native language, would you like to be fluent in?

Spanish. ive been “intending” to learn for a long time, and a lot of people who have been really good influences on me and been genuinely kind to me speak it, id like to learn it

24. Do you spell the color as grey or gray?

grey

one sec

yup thats canadian!

25. Is your father bald?

on the top of his head, yes >:(

26. Do you know triplets?

no?

27. Do you prefer Titanic or The Notebook?

no? what is this straight stuff? i listened to the dramatic titanic song and felt nothing.

28. Have you ever had Indian food?

i guess so, at a friends house! i dont think otherwise ive gone to a restaurant and actually had indian food

29. What’s the name of your favorite restaurant?

*gazes tearily at my OWN FUCKING OLD WORKPLACE

the food was sO GOOD MAN. IT WAS SO GOOD. im just not saying because despite how stalkable i probably am already, i dont want to be specific

30. Have you ever been to Olive Garden?

no whats that

31. Do you belong to any warehouse stores (Costco, BJ’s, etc.)?

belong? whats bjs? whats a warehouse for?

32. What would your parents have named you if you were the opposite gender?

i decided at one point they would never tell me this and it was no use asking. i do know they almost named my brother a very fusty old fashioned name fitting in with the thomas the tank engine theme

33. If you have a nickname, what is it?

G is the ONLY one i will accept so far.

34. Who’s your favorite person in the world?

i……… hmmmm…. i really dont like picking favourites. each person in my life has a unique relationship with me (even though a lot of them arent very warm, trusting or close). because of unhealthy middle school friendships ive grown an aversion to ranking relationships as if they have material value.

35. Would you rather live in a rural area or in the suburbs?

rural, i think. i need nature in my life!!! but i also need to be able to have connections to people.

36. Can you whistle?

yes, but not very loudly or accurately

37. Do you sleep with a nightlight?

no, but ive always wanted a nightlight

38. Do you eat breakfast every morning?

ive started to, yeah! this morning i made a whole thing with bread and mushrooms and eggs, and coffee, and i ate it outside watching the traffic. im really trying to treat myself nicely you see. its what id do for someone else.

39. Do you take any pills or medication daily?

THAT

BOY

JUICE!

WELCOME TO MY BUILD A BOY WORKSHOP!

SHOTS!SHOTS!SHOTS!

and im really fortunate to be in pretty good health, and have access to things i do need

40. What medical conditions do you have?

I dont think… i actually have any. id say gender dysphoria but i think it was informed consent. (im VERY lucky)

im pretty sure there are SOME mental conditions running around undiagnosed. MY BRAIN IS NOT WORKING PROPERLY

41. How many times have you been to the hospital?

for myself? once… when i got hives and started swelling up all over, but otherwise was fine. i really wonder what that was. other times was visiting sick/dying relatives which has made me feel sad and apprehensive whenever i enter a hospital or smell the food

42. Have you ever seen Finding Nemo?

yes! i had a gerbil named nemo!

43. Where do you buy your jeans?

i dont … remember … really nowhere special i actually have yet to find some jeans i LOVE. sometimes there is a pair of jeans that sparks joy. i do not have such a pair

44. What’s the last compliment you got?

my sister said my pants looked good on me. they are actually their pants, which they left on the floor in my room for an unknown reason, and they want them back. of course.

but because im excited about it and want to brag, the real compliment was when i made borscht and my sister not only ate it faster than me, but wanted a second helping. and my roommate stuck his face in the steam and said it smelled good. hell yes. i put fucking cilantro in it. fcking beast mode.

45. Do you usually remember your dreams in the morning?

yes. theyre usually really emotional and symbolic. if ive been talking to my parents, theyre usually nightmares. ive been reading about dream interpretation for a long time to deal with some of the ominous images that can come up

46. What flavor tea do you enjoy?

red rose reminds me of wheni was little my mom would make really sweet sweet red rose tea for me (thats the kind she drinks all the time) and it brings me those good feelings. otherwise licorice spice really appeald to me for some reason.

47. How many pairs of shoes do you currently own?

LMAO UHHH…brb

six. because of social pressure.

48. What religion will you raise your children to practice?

i never thought about this kind of thing…. i really don’t know….. id just want them to know how to be kind to others and themselves and thats literally it.

49. How old were you when you found out that Santa wasn’t real?

i was one of those edgy kids trying to spoil it for everyone. guess what other common fun thing my parents didnt do

50. Why do you have a youtube?

i dont! so i dont know what this question means! :)

HOLY SHIT I MADE IT THRU HIGH FIVE

#rambling #WOW #bug

2 notes · View notes

calamity-bean · 5 years

Text

wasteland, baby! first impressions

Having listened through Wasteland, Baby! a couple times now, I present my very personal and unsophisticated first impressions of all the new songs on the album — i.e. the ones that were not, as far as I noticed, previously released as parts of EPs or alone as previews (Nina Cried Power, Shrike, Movement, Almost (Sweet Music), and Dinner & Diatribes). It kinda feels weird to omit them, but those ones wouldn’t really be “first impressions” given I’ve already listened to them so much, y’know? Anyway:

No Plan — Delightful nihilism, in the gentlest and most optimistic sense of the word: a great big lovely shrug inviting us to just take break, for a moment, from all the screaming heaving fuckery. There’s no grand design! There’s no master plan! There’s just us, just this, so make the best of it, make something good of it, lie down in the soft darkness, love someone, chill. Can I cure my anxiety by mainlining this song into my soul?

Nobody — Honestly, this one hasn’t really grabbed me yet; it’s a fun bop to groove to, I like some of the sounds a lot, but I’m not really connecting to the sound or lyrics in any way deeper yet. However, I have been known to completely gloss over songs for months only for them to suddenly hit me like a freight train, so this might just be one I have to revisit with time.

To Noise Making (Sing) — Delighted to announce that Hozier himself has given me, specifically, his personal permission to sing at the top of my lungs always even though I’m super bad at it. In all seriousness, “Put your emptiness to melody, your awful heart to song” is a heck of a line and a mood to live by.

As It Was — There are some Hozier songs that make you feel like you’re lying in a meadow with the sun on your face and your eldritch (but kindhearted) lover is lying beside you and possibly you’re dead or eldritch also but nonetheless, all is well in the world. Then there are Hozier songs that make you feel like you took an ill-advised turn on a back country road and it’s dusk now and the coyotes are howling and you know that your eldritch (probably not kindhearted) lover is out there in the darkness somewhere and you’re trying to hunt them down but you can’t shake the feeling that you’re being hunted too. This is one of the latter. I approve VERY much. Current front-runner for favorite new song of the album.

Talk — Oh, so we’re just startin’ this one right off with an Orpheus/Eurydice conceit, are we? GOOD. Excellent choice. Hozier’s lyrics so often place him in a position of awe/submission before divinity/nature/his lover that I think any comparison to Orpheus or to Eurydice is an apt one — these mortals entwined with beautiful but overwhelmingly powerful and potentially hazardous forces that convey at desire and danger all at once. See the lines here about marveling at God, marrying the sea, being the devotee… In short, this track? Very on brand.

Be — “When the man who gives the order / Is born next time round on the boat sent back” oh shit!! Really not mincin’ words here, huh bud! Man, in terms of pure sound I really like this one, but there’s so much lyrical complexity that I’m still unpacking. It’s definitely very… wasteland, though, very apocalyptic, in a way that’s more explicitly contemporary and also more defiant than other apocalyptic songs such as, say, “NFWMB.”

Would That I —Have you ever seen a field after a fire? Have you ever driven by the same field month after month or year after year and observed the flowers, the grasses, the young things tender and green slowly push up through the brittle brown and gray? This song feels like pushing up through ashes. It feels like the courage to start again.

Sunlight — This is so… STIRRING? So MYTHIC? That strong, driving beat on every repetition of the title!! This song makes me feel like I’m being pushed, an insistent ebb and flow toward something, some object of desire that does not, for me, have a name. Nonetheless, it makes me yearn. Big fan of the Icarus conceit. Giving “As It Was” a run for its money as my new fave.

Wasteland, Baby! — This is one of those “lying in a meadow with the sun on your face songs,” though set during an apocalypse, because of course it is, this is Hozier, we are ALL about using dark, sublime nature imagery to gently talk about how much we love our baby. Makes me feel a little dreamy and a little sleepy and ready to curl up under the covers while the world, too, falls asleep for the last time.

Looking at the album altogether, including the songs not discussed here? I think it has a really particular vibe that feels distinct from the previous album but still very on brand. It maintains the classic Hozier habit of using 1) primal nature imagery and 2) ominous religious metaphors to be 3) horny and wraps it all up in a vision of impending apocalypse that does not preclude love, beauty, and gentleness even in such a dark context.... but that also calls for justice and defiance in the face of doom. Sure, there’s no grand plan controlling the universe. Sure, everything will eventually end, and there’s nothing we can do about that. So in some respects all we can do is live in the moment, love, find joy, find pleasure, make noise for the sake of it, marvel at the coming of the end... And yet there are other things we can control, or at least stand up for or in opposition to. A thread of the sociopolitical amidst all the romance.

Idk, these thoughts are all very personal and preliminary, and I’ll restrain myself from trying to come up with some sort of thesis here. End of the day, it’s a great bunch of nice romantic bangers that I look forward to mulling over more.

#can't believe i'm...... analyzing albums now but okay #i mean obviously people do that and it's cool but i've just never tried my hand at musical criticism before #but whatever! just my personal ramblings #op #hozier

18 notes · View notes

fluffy-flock · 5 years

Text

Idk why Tumblr likes to delete my asks instead of saving them as drafts 8)

But here we go, from @amuseoffirebane !

Laith -

Despite what he himself and everyone around him thinks, Laith can be incredibly smart. His big talents come in the umbrella of emotional smarts, and then animal and medical know how. He learns very well when he's interested in the topic and has a good teacher. Laith just doesn't learn in traditional environments, like reading and memorizing or listening to a lecture.

Eventually, in modern settings, he becomes a licensed doctor and works at a hospital for a while, before deciding he needs to leave. He's very empathetic, and I think it would be too emotionally taxing to work there day in and day out. Eventually he becomes an event planner and, while he sometimes wishes he could put his actual degree to more use, he's very happy!

Excerpt:

Laith is familiar with Kaenun's office, but walks around anyway. He looks over the little decorations. It was cute, he felt pretty at home here.

Laith almost stops to tell him he's not obligated again, but shuts his mouth. Clearly Kaenun likes him and wants to do this, and he should really stop insisting that he doesn't have to do any of these basic friendship things. He instead just listens to the music and the typing. At first he just sways a little while he looks over the office, but some point after he ends up behind Kaenun, he's dancing. It is very cute, and actually doesn't look bad. It's mostly bopping along as he walks around, still in the blanket and humming.

Laith suddenly remembers they were talking.

"Oh, it's not so much of a drive. Absolitely worth it for your company, Kae."

Kaenun smiles as he continues typing, actually finishing up by the time Laith speaks. He saves the document and and turns around. He's surprised Laith hasn't moved to sit anywhere yet - the floor and counterspace were free game, but his friend stood.

"Should I get a second chair?" Kaenun hums. If he was younger and more flirtatious he might have just pulled Laith into his lap, but he does not. Not yet anyway.

"Ah, I was just having fun dancing and looking around. Did I ever tell you that I used to take dance?"

Kaenun shakes his head. "Not that I recall. Was it fun?"

"So much fun! My parents made me take ballroom for forever, and it was okay, but then I tried ballet and it was so much fun but ow?? I didn't really have the commitment. Swing was my favorite- I did it all the way through high school even..."

Jack -

Jack and Jol are honestly both so dear to me. My favorite stories with Jack are ones where he learns to finally let someone else take care of him, he has a very hard time not trying to be an obelisk. Especially because his best friend/little sibling does genuinely need a lot of support. It frustrates Jolyean to no end when he won't accept their help, honestly.

He has a girlfriend that @im-schrodingers-gay writes that is very good at both calling him out on letting toxic masculinity stop him from being vulnerable, and also making him feel safe. He love her 😢 So much. His brothers have a harder time, Tristan is really the closest to him, and the brother (outside of Jol) who can get Jack to talk about his problems. They have a really good relationship honestly? It helps that Tristan is very laid back. Owen and Jack get along the least, mostly because they're incredibly similar but just off enough to get on each others' nerves. When they're older (20s/30s in human 'verses) they sort things out, and stop tripping over each other trying to be in control of everything.

Excerpt

"I could have been part of the fun but noooo." Alim teased in a mock whine.

His husband smiled and nudged his side. "You never asked to be a part of the fun."

"You never asked me to be part of the fun."

"Know what's really fun?" Jack finally spoke up, nearly forgotten in the back, face on fire. "Not knowing who my parents have slept with. That's super fun. It's my favorite, actually."

Jolyean put a hand on Jack's arm, shoulders trembling with the effort of putting on a serious voice past his giggling. "Y-you have to let them go, Jack. They're their own people now. They're adults." He laughed and covered his grin, more leaning on Jack now.

Daiye laughs, but can't help feeling a little embarrassed. "I-"

"They can make their own choices, we have to let them be free to- to-" His youngest dissolves into another fit of giggles, and Jack crosses his arms with a heavy sigh. His eyes turn up to the clouds, either avoiding eye contact or praying for divine intervention. Or at least for everyone to move so he can leave.

"I don't want to hear it, I'm locking them both in their room." He glares down as his family giggles. In truth he's not so upset, but is used to playing the straight man, now "I'm stronger, I could carry you both back."

Daiye held back his own laughter."J-Jack, sweetheart, I'm sorry..."

Jolyean -

My beautiful baby 😢😢😢 I just fjfnskso love,,,,, so much

Jolyean is my little bundle of sunshine and I would kill and die for him? In human verses he makes....not the best choices, and ends up in maybe not the best crowds, but his family and his real friends help keep him safe. Karli and Jack especially play big roles in that! Mostly by trying to build his confidence back up after getting out of his bio parents house and after his first (very very Not Good) boyfriend.

But it's okay, bf man pays for it.

... In fantasy settings, Jay actually Takes Him Out, but it's fiiiiiine.

(It's not fine, Jol is upset bc he's too soft hearted to believe anyone should deserve to die.)

(Also several family members are bothered that Jay beat them to it.)

But here's an excerpt from the good boyfriend! For context of her describing what she's wearing, he was born blind.

"Surely, I'd hate for you too overheat."

Jolyean scoffs. "Psh, we're on top of a mountain! I'll cool down eventually. Just might have to remove a few layers..."

Vincent laughs a little and grins. "Exactly how many layers are we talking?"

She smiles wider, hearing him laugh. And his little smile was just so charming. She adjusts her hood and perks up, tossing her hair back behind her shoulder. Really, for her own benefit.

"Weeeeell, I've got my cloak, and then a little jacket and my gloves and scarf, and then my dress- not the big fluffy kind, just an A-line but really thick because it's so cold up here. And then...you know. Stuff. So quite a lot of layers to work with."

"So many that you may not be able to do it yourself?" A sly smile comes to his face, and he hopes he isn't inching too far over the line. Quite the contrary, she is delighted.

"Oh, no, there's far too many clasps for me to get it myself. And there's some on the back, it's so much work on my own..." She sighs, sorrowfully.

"So what I'm hearing is..." He leans in, and her heart pounds a little faster. She leans in a little more, looking over his handsome face and sighing softly.

"...Your parents still dress you?"

"I- hey!" She straightens up and, after mentally catching up, laughs with him. "Oh, that was good- touché, Vincent. No, actually I just wear the same outfit everyday. Bathing is below me."

#Jolyean #Jack #Laith #my ocs #Jack Kirkland #Jolyean McAlister #Laith Paralyn

3 notes · View notes

grimastiddies · 5 years

Text

Questions and form made by @goddess-of-war-nyka

1. Introduce your summoner. –

Name: Caitlin Age: 25 Height: 5′5″ Weight: 160lbs Sexuality: Bisexual Eye Color: Dark brown, nearly black Hair Color: Red Nationality: American Hobbies: Singing, drawing, playing guitar

Caitlin is from the Midwest, in the Chicago area. She lives in an apartment nearby her family, which consists of her mom, dad, her older sister, younger sister, and her younger brother. She has a shiba inu named Chiyo! Her family is extremely important to her, they’re all really tight. While in Askr, she misses them terribly.

Her life is good, but…ultimately, boring. She went to college and graduated, but hasn’t done anything with her degree. Her day job is boring and unfulfilling, and generally she feels like she’s stuck in a rut where she just sort of…exists. She suffers from anxiety and depression, and that’s greatly affecting her motivation. If it weren’t for her side job, she’d probably be really depressed. In her downtime, she performs as a Disney Princess for birthday parties! The characters she plays includes Rapunzel, Elsa, Anna, and Aurora. She takes this job very seriously, and it actually is a primary source of income for her. She gets hired a lot, but it’s still not quite what she wants to be doing with her life. Sometimes she’ll fill in as a guitarist in her friend’s band when they need the help.

2. How did they come to Askr?

She was heading to a show when she was summoned to Askr. She was in her car schlepping a lot of their equipment and all of it ended up in Askr with her, along with her car, her laptop, phone, some spare clothes, makeup, and all of her costumes. She has a fair amount of things from her world on hand, which Heroes like to play with… her car especially. Unfortunately it broke on the way over, so it would have to be fixed if anyone wanted to actually drive it.

3. What are their favourite hobbies? –

She enjoys playing music! She’s a talented guitar player and can play a fair few instruments at a basic level. Probably took some piano lessons at school or something. She sings too, but it far to shy to sing for the heroes so that’s more of a secret talent unless you’re a peeping tom and spy on her in the baths.

Drawing is a hobby, she enjoys doodling to relieve stress. Drawing practice always took a back seat to music, though, so she’s not like... super good at it, but it’s something she enjoys. She probably has a notebook she carries around that she doodles in. The Morgans are convinced it’s full of strategy secrets and try to steal it, but in reality it’s like... silly pictures of cats in socks.

4. Does your summoner have any bad habits that the heroes try to help them through? –

Confidence issues for sure. This seems to be a common theme among Summoners, and she’s really no different. She thinks the heroes are all amazing, wonderful people and that she simply pales in comparison. Her powers are a blessing from the Breidablik, so the praise she gets as the Summoner makes her feel like a liar. They’re praising Kiran, not her, she feels.

She really beats herself up inside when a plan fails.

Also frets over whether or not heroes actually like her, or if they’re just influenced by their contract.

Low key feels ugly in comparison to the other women, keeps that to herself though.

5. How close is your summoner to their heroes? –

Very close I’d say. As much as she worries, she takes her job as the Summoner seriously and does her best to take care of everyone. Besides, most of the heroes are such likable people it would be hard not to make friends!! She loves everyone dearly.

6. Does your summoner struggle with being a tactician? –

Nah, the Breidablik grants her powers that make her a great tactician.

The Breidablik houses the spirit of a Valkyrie, a legendary entity who chooses who lives and who dies on the battlefield. This spirit, known as Kiran, was a divine blessing bestowed upon Askr long ago by the Gods to protect the kingdom. The Breidablik itself was given to a legendary hero, the only person who can wield it. Kiran resides within the Breidablik and gives it and the Hero their powers. Caitlin is a reincarnation of this hero who was summoned to Askr in its time of need. The Breidablik’s powers include:

Summoning Heroes.

Sight - the ability to see the battlefield and form strategy.

Command - the ability to bend Heroes to their will.

Valkyrie Drive - Caitlin gets possessed by the Valkyrie spirit, and is given a short burst of incredible strength and magic. However, the Summoner needs to recover for a while afterwards.

Still working on the fine details with this so yeah lmao--

7. How did your summoner react during their first time summoning? –

“WHAT THE FU-”

Panic for sure.

What the fuck is happening? Where am I? You want me to do what now? What? WHAT???? She calms down eventually, but being plucked from your world and then being told to do stuff and then FIGHT is scary as fuck imo and she’s absolutely overwhelmed for a bit.

8. How does your summoner react to summoning now? –

“Man, I have to summon now... ugh, it makes me so tired, do I have to...??”

9. How well do they adjust to life in Askr? –

Pretty well, the Order is helpful and eager to make her feel welcome and comfortable.

10. How long have they been a summoner? –

Since the beginning of the game...? LMAO- Uhh, idk she’s summoned when Anna summons in game, so she’s not brought in at any special time.

11. Who’s your summoner’s main team? –

Grima, Robin, Alfonse, Veronica.

12. Who’s your summoner’s S support? –

Alfonse hehe...

13. How was your Summoner and ally support building to S support?–

HONESTLY she doesn’t get with Alfonse so it must just be like.... a strong... bond of friendship....??? I have given this 0 thought lmao sorry--

14. How many allies have s support with your summoner? –

Grima obviously heheheheheeh-- that’s like the “canon” pair, but there’s also potential for Alfonse and Bruno... probably as a poly because Bruno and Alfonse are cute as FUCK together djskldjals

But then again I have Grima supported with Alfonse so Cait/Grima/Alfonse COULD be a thing......... god dude idk I’m just thirsty af yall know me.

15. What are your top 4 ally x ally supports? –

16. What does your summoner miss from home? – THE INTERNET would make it SO MUCH EASIER to look up all of the heroes’ backstories and searching for Askran/Nordic mythology homygod.

17. If they could bring one thing from home with them what would it be? – T h e I n t e r n e t.

18. Is your summoner’s robe unique? –

19. Who are your fellow summoner friends? –

@terra-haven‘s Sapphire, @vince-prime‘s Kuma, @lunalove25‘s Luna, among others hehe

20. What does your summoner wear if during their down time? –

UHHHH comfy stuff. Probably walks around in minimal clothing LMAO-- Long shirts/sweaters, after a while she’s forced to wear leggings underneath. She has a more high matenance wardrobe back home, but in Askr comfort is king.

21. How do they handle merging heroes or sending them home? –

Idk, in Cait’s storyverse I don’t think merging and sending people home would really be a thing...? Not sure how I wanna go about handling this tbh??? I think if she were to get dupes, it would just end up being a failed summon or something. Or maybe it would manifest as a item that powers up certain heroes. I think she could send heroes home but.... idk, the hero would have to consent.

22. What abilities/weapons do they have? –

When in Valkyrie mode the Breidablik turns into a lance, but otherwise nothing out of the ordinary for a Summoner.

23. Would your summoner like to know magic? –

Summoning is totally a type of magic, so I think that Summoners in general have an innate talent for magic and can learn it. Caitlin would totally be interested, magic is dope as fuuuuuck.

24. Are they able to hold their own in a fight? –

LMAO nah, not really. She tries and gets lucky, but that luck comes from summoner valkyrie powers lmao-

25. How many heroes have you acquired? I’m too lazy to open the app and check lmao sorryyy

26. What book has been the hardest? Emotional or battle-wise. –

Book 3 has me fucking shook fam.

27. If your summoner went into battle what would be there class? –

Singer for sure.

28. Are there any heroes they clash with? –

Honestly??? Nah, she’s not super interested in actively fighting with anyone I don’t think.I mean I think there’s the obvious heroes no one really LOVES but I think Cait is the type to find them all amusing in their own way. Looooves to mess with Narcian. Valter’s just creepy but in almost a sort of entertaining way, especially since she’s in charge and he can’t actually do anything to her.

I love Berkut but I can see Cait being very eager to put him in his place.

29. Which hero have you pumped more into? –

Grima, Alfonse.

30. Which hero do you get a lot of while summoning? –

Not sure, don’t really pay that much attention.

31. Which heroes have they adopted? –

ALL OF THE KIDS. Who let these children fight? NO WAR FOR KIDDIES NO NO NO-- Loves dragons best hehe

32. Do they participate in voting gauntlets? –

Keeps tabs on them, doesn’t really care that much.

33. How do they handle their orbs? –

“TIME TO YOLO SUMMON BABY”

34. What hero do you wanna see in Fire Emblem Heroes? –

The whole cast of Awakening blz-

35. Will your summoner stay in Askr? Nifl? Muspell? Hel? Embla? –

HM. A good question lmaooooo

grima/cait is my self indulgent end game so uh not sure uhhhhhh

I think she’d convince him to come back home with her tbh. she wouldn’t want to stay in Zenith forever. Loves her family too much to just stay forever.

36. What is your Summoner life like years later if they stayed? Askr. Nifl. Muspell. Hel. Embla. –

She wouldn’t stay, she’d go home for sure.

37. Summoner’s family reacting to your summoner’s significant other?–

UHHHH fuck dude I have no fucking clue LMAO-- this thing is full of shit i never considered???

They’d probably be justifiably worried--

38. In a twist of fate, if your summoner could change one thing what would it be? –

Probably making Bruno join the order or something, she’s salty he leaves.

#ask game #caitlin

18 notes · View notes

eracitor · 6 years

Text

Weird Headcanons for my Boys

Regulus Black

took piano and/or art classes growing up

loves to braid his friend’s hair. Rodolphus prefers a braid that leads into a bun. Rabastan will accept any braid but usually gets a classic french braid. Lucius will only allow him to braid his hair if he does a fishbone braid.

He’s definitely a Capricorn

has had a crush on Rodolphus forEVER, although some of the reason he likes Rodolphus so much is because Rodolphus is basically a Slytherin, pureblood supremacist version of Sirius. Rodolphus is (in Reg’s mind) who Sirius could have been. Rodolphus is the wildest someone could get and still follow aristocratic society

He’s got a reputation that he keeps so clean that it fucking hurts, which means that he misses out on kid stuff a lot because he’s too busy thinking about estate affairs and dining etiquette. His friends are the only thing that bring out the kid in him.

I think most of these stupid boys actually have a part of muggle culture that is their guilty pleasure. His is definitely the books. He LOVES classic literature and he will slip muggle books into wizard book covers so his mother doesn’t know.

He’s actually a major romantic but being logical is regarded as more important on his list of things he needs to be which is why he’s not out there courting anybody.

this boy treasured Slug Club and duelling club and Slytherin quidditch practice and any activity where he got to be with his friends more than anything in the world (because his parents sucked and expected him to be everything Sirius refused to be because now they “only had one son” and it was a lot of pressure and anyone Regulus is my favorite character in history every of characters so yeah there’s that).

Rabastan Lestrange

serious cryptid and loves all mythical creatures. His favorite class is Care of Magical Creatures, and he believes in all things out there and he wants to meet and study all of them

he’s very particular about who he befriends, because humans don’t have predictable behavior like most animals/cryptids

He’s asexual and aromantic. He’s only into platonic friendships, and then only barely.

‘Scuse me?? This boy is a Taurus???

He and Regulus are best friends and have a strong bond of brothers, similar the bond between Marauders. I would almost say platonic soulmates. Regulus is the only one who can understand his deep love of creatures that are “below” them, but more than that, they just understand each other on a fundamental level

both he and Rodolphus have long, curly wild hair, super thick and too wild to tame. I’m talking like viking ass huge hair.

He’s one of those strong-and-silent, animals-not-people type. I imagine he talked to people the same way April Ludgate does in Parks and Rec. He tries to scare them on purpose and never says anything genuinely unless he’s talking about how much he loves creatures more than humans. He’s a Creepy Boi (TM)

Rodolphus Lestrange

plays guitar like it ain’t no thing. Now here’s Wonderwall (Maybe not Wonderwall but you better believe his muggle guilty pleasure was their music. He was a part of the rock scene going on in England back in the day)

rocks the perfect man bun. I cannot picture him without a man bun, he has one I swear to god.

He is arranged to be married with Bellatrix, not by choice. Most marriages are because there is not a whole lot of purebloods left. He, like Bellatrix, feels nothing for his fiance, although he does care about her and her family.

Sometimes I hc that he and Regulus are a thing, like done behind Bellatrix’s back that throws her into an insane rage. However, ultimately I don’t think that would be Regulus or Rodolphus’s style. Regulus cares too much about his image, and Rodolphus isn’t much of a romantic. I would probably say more likely he flirts with Regulus like he flirts with everyone else, leading Regulus to have a huge crush on him.

Favorite class? Honestly it’s divination, although he doesn’t really tell anyone. Not because he’s embarrassed, but he’s just very subtle about the things he likes; he’s not gonna geek out about it but he’ll be like “ah, shit, that’s cool.” He’s an Aquarius, btw

Lucius Malfoy

his marriage with Narcissa is an arrange marriage but they are romantic soulmates. If it hadn’t been arranged, Lucius would have proposed on his own. Lucius, although seen as strong, is actually very weak while Narcissa is assumed to be weak when in fact she is very strong. This dynamic works very well for them.

He won’t admit it to anyone but he’s an exquisite dancer and he loves it. He knows every step to every formal dance, and couldn’t step on someone else’s foot if he tried.

He’s a fucking Virgo

Charms and Potions are the subjects he’s very good at, although I wouldn’t say he really liked them. He liked being good at them and showing off, but he didn’t dislike or like either. He was probably in the Slug Club (IDK if he really was but he seems like someone Slughorn would loooooove)

He’s surprisingly good at knowing the value of most objects. He’s like a wizarding Pawn Shops guru. He’s very tricky about buying things cheap and selling them high. He honestly would have done muggle pawn shopping too except he (like all the boys) were grossed out and vaguely scared of muggles.

Barty Crouch Jr.

has a crush on Regulus because of their similar backstories: raised by authoritarian pureblooded families with high places in wizard society, the Crouch family because of his father’s government position and the Blacks due to old money

A Scorpio, for sure, like for sure for sure

He, Evan Rosier, and Antonin Dolohov are basically the Three Stooges of the groups. They are always seen bickering and insulting and teasing each other. The shenanigans they get themselves into his hilarious. Rosier knew Barty Crouch Jr. growing up (the way all pureblooded families knew each other) but they didn’t become close until Dolohov joined and they became the trio

he liked Defense Against the Dark Arts but only because he saw it as a puzzle; if he understood DATDA, he could understand how to get around the defensive spells so that the opponent defense would be rendered useless.

everyone refers to him by his entire name. No Barty or Crouch. Barty Crouch Jr. is what all his friends call him every time they refer to him.

He’s a mega fan of all things quidditch. He knows every single fact and can tell you the score of a Quidditch World Cup a 100 years back. He can tell you the stats of almost every player in the league...at least every player on the important teams. He’s a Chudley Cannons fan.

Evan Rosier

To me, he’s kind of like the Slytherin, pureblood supremacist version of James. He’s good-looking, intelligent, talented, and his background is the opposite of what you’d think. His parents are not well-off or very attractive or kind or smart. If given the chance, they would take from him everything he had. He found a family in his friends (unlike James who gave a family to his friends).

A hard Libra. He’s very much a Libra

is very bisexual and makes it very clear from the moment you meet him. He likes men and women equally and is a charmer. I mean most Slytherins are charmer but he’s got the charm of every female villain sidekick who seduces her way into making the hero break. That’s Rosier.

is the group’s connection to the wizard equivalent to weed, which is called Muggle Beard due to the fact that the marijuana looks gnarly and gross. His connection? His deadbeat parents

Tells nothing about himself to anyone. He’s the person who literally never stops joking so much that if he was serious, you would think he was joking. Like that’s how he is, he’s always messing around.

His favorite class is maybe potions? He doesn’t really like class but he LOVES duelling club. The club is divided into two teams, with a mix of every house on each team. It’s the only place where he doesn’t give a fuck if you’re Slytherin, Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, or Ravenclaw. If you’re on his team, he supports you, and if you’re not, you’re GOING DOWN

Antonin Dolohov

was supposed to go to Durmstrang but his mother, who had been dating an abusive muggle man at the time, had to flee before he killed both her and her son, which brought them to England and which brought on his long-held grudge on muggles. His mom’s abusive ex broke his nose before they left, which is why it’s a little crooked.

He’s probably most definitely a Leo. That’s just it. He is.

didn’t want to make friends at first out of spite but after a while of some determined teasing from Rosier and Barty Crouch Jr. he caved

was arranged to be married to Andromeda before she ran away with a muggleborn. He was quite infatuated with her (or at least the idea of being married to someone) but after she left him, the whole thing lost its taste. He no longer felt the need to find someone to spend his life with.

favorite class was transfiguration. If he became an animagi, he would have turned into a hawk or possibly a falcon. Definitely a bird of prey. He gives out strong bird vibes.

869 notes · View notes

jinjikook · 7 years

Text

Roadside Dreams (M)

word count: 4.8k

genre: the fluffiest fluff i could manage + smut ; tv host! hoseok + hoseok can build stuff idk what the title it would be

pairing: reader/wonho

summary: hoseok is a host for a show that renovates old school buses into dream vans/rvs. you’ve brought him a project and over time, you’ve developed a crush for the charismatic man, wanting to take him along for the long ride you’ve dreamt up; as does he, you come to learn.

dedicated to: my wife @honeyheonie bc she deserves some tooth-rotting wonho fluff. also one word to you mi amor: diddle

a/n: this is based off an actual tv show that i literally saw half of an episode of with my mom and i instantly thought of this prompt and just had to write it

music: all of seventeen’s love & letter album

masterlist

gif credit

“So, what do you think?” You stepped up the pastel stairs, painted to tailor your style perfectly, and your jaw dropped in awe at what you were faced with.

The interior was amazing, gorgeous even. You had only disclosed a minimal amount of details and even more less when it came to specifics. You weren’t sure what you wanted when you came to Shin Hoseok with an old school bus and a good half-hundred grand of money to throw towards it. But this? This exceeded all of your expectations; dreams of living out on the open road with nothing to tie you down or hold you back finally come to life in a divine mix of lavender and grays.

“How did you—? I mean, you just— This is amazing!” You were partially speechless by just how mesmerizingly you the entire bus was, now a ghost of its former shell. The outside was a cream based white, the only thing pointing to its old form being the shape itself. But everything else screamed home, in the way the pull out couch was neatly decorated up front and the windows were now garnished with flowers and the dash was devoid of all clunky buttons and switches, now a smooth birch counter with a glossy finish.

It was something straight out of television; from the boards of Pinterest and famous Instagram user feeds. Something that couldn’t be bought or ordered from a hippie-esque catalogue, divine in every way, shape and form and yet it was completely tailored to you and everything you needed in a house on wheels.

Hoseok took you by the hand and led you further in, ignoring the camera crew behind him that was documenting the details of the bus and the shocked expressions you kept replaying on your face.

“Now, I know you said comfort is your biggest caveat, so I went ahead and gave you this gorgeous couch that doubles as an extra bed,” Hoseok reached under the cushions to release the switch that allowed the seat to slide out and flatten into a queen sized mattress, right there in the very front of your home. You clapped and praised his choice, loving the idea of having an extra bed should you have guests or if you just wanted to sleep up front for a change.

Hoseok beamed at your reaction, elated that his personal choices reflected well. He liked to think you and he were very similar, in both tastes and ideas. It made for a relatively easy job, as sometimes he has trouble getting into the mindset of a customer to truly give them what they want but also able to branch out and test his own creativity in the process. With you, he just thought about what he’d like if he were to live in one of these, travelling the country with someone wonderful by his side to share the sights with him.

Someone like you.

Call it unprofessional, but he had a slight crush on you.

(read: a big fat “I-can-see-myself-growing-old-happily-with-you” crush)

When you came to him with this clunker of a bus and told him you weren’t sure what you wanted but you loved the simple and cozy life he fell head over heels for you, the way you cutely stood with your hands fisted in your patterned dress and how your eyes gleamed with brimming potential.

“This here, is for the ultimate cooking experience.” You watched as Hoseok pointed out the finer details, from the real marble countertop to the station above the mini-fridge that was made specifically for a coffeemaker.

“Hoseok, this is incredible! I didn’t even tell you I liked a big kitchen, I just figured it was impossible in a space like this…”

“Honey, nothing is impossible if you think big enough! I figured you were one of those women that loves to cook with someone and that requires room to not only dance around each other but also to get close and snuggly as one of you works on the eggs or something.” He got a little lost in his fantasy, imagining it was him who was in front of the stove top, working on getting the bacon just right or the eggs less runny when you come up behind him to wrap your arms around his middle and kiss the top of his bare shoulder, possibly after lazily making love in the early morning sunlight that beamed past your silken curtains.

“Well I love it, this entire place feels like a dream come true,” You trailed off, gazing lovingly all over the remainder of the bus as Hoseok guided you through all the nooks and crannies he thought up.

“And now, for the coup de gras, what I think you’ll love the most,” His hand was still cradling your own, not even caring about how he doesn’t do that with any other customer and how viewers of the show would most likely notice it later on. He walks you up the small step/storage space and you’re faced with what you wished upon every shooting star you’ve ever seen—a solid 2.5; one was an airplane and another had been only slightly falling.

“The bedroom. Fit for a queen, perfect for you.” He warmly smiled as you stood at the entrance, frozen in a stupor of amazement. The shelves were lining the walls so prettily, some even had vases or statues already on them, as if Hoseok had jumped into your mind himself and snatched all of your greatest desires and threw them all into one room.

You hoped he hadn’t seen the section in your brain that you have locked away, with a sign that states for my eyes only. In there are all the details you’ve catalogued about the handsome man beside you; the times he’d brushed his hand against you or taken yours into his own, all the flirty advances you’re sure couldn’t be true but the way he’d wink or smile right after would beg to differ.

“Go on, get a feel for the room.” Hoseok’s warm palm touched the small of your back and gave you a little nudge, urging you to step further inside and do a little exploring, find the small intricacies that Hoseok painstakingly took months to put in, one by one.

With caution, you tread over to the wardrobe he’d built into the wall, a sliding mirror door away from a surprisingly deep closet. He explained how it’d been made a little taller just to make sure your dresses wouldn’t touch the floor when they dangled from the hanger and how there was a nice little set of hooks against the wall for belts, hats and anything else your heart desired.

At this point, your heart was already Grinch-style “three-sizes-too-big” and you were swollen with admiration for Hoseok and his ability to nail everything about his job.

(You also hoped he’d nail something else but that was neither here nor there.)

As he described the painstaking process he’d gone through to custom make your curtain rods and went shopping at several locations to find the perfect knick-knacks to decorate your home, you couldn’t help the heart eyes that you’re sure the camera crew was eating up at this point. This man knew you more than anyone else you’d ever met and he’d only been commissioned a short while ago, having only been told of the basics of your life.

With only the knowledge of your job, the little things you enjoyed in life and your budget, this man was able to leap into your heart and build you a dream home only to leave with a piece of it in his pocket, forever his as long as you stayed in the abode he built for you with his bare hands.

“Now, how about giving that bed a try?” He gave you his signature eyebrow wiggle and that sinful tongue of his darted out to lick his lips and you had half a mind to drag him on the bed with you and give him a taste of his own medicine—or your tongue, same difference.

You nodded and meekly placed your knee on the bed, using your palm to feel the firmness of the mattress and the stability of the wood it was mounted onto. As you awkwardly tried to “test” the bed, Hoseok huffed behind you and chuckled before placing his hands on your hips from behind.

“You really have to give this thing a test ride, love.”

“I’ve been trying to,” You muttered under your breath, hoping he wouldn’t hear the little slip of your tongue.

Another chuckle and Hoseok is leading you onto the bed, taking the time to settle next to you almost domestically.

“Nice huh? I made sure to pick out a bed that’d suit you perfectly! And look,” He reached over your laying frame to tug at the curtains that were right by your bed side. “A beautiful view of outside; ideal if you’re staying by the beach or on the mountainside. Imagine waking up to such a sight…”

You weren’t looking out the window when he said that, only able to focus on his chiseled body still hovering over yours as he gazed dreamily out the window into the open field he’d parked the bus in to do the big reveal. The view, as far as you were concerned, was him.

“Tell me, are you satisfied with everything?” His pearl white teeth basically reflected the sunlight into your eyes and you swore you were squinting at him as you spoke.

“And so much more…” You couldn’t help but look down at his peachy lips; you blame his damned bright smile, making you deflect your eyes elsewhere and giving him ideas.

Hoseok shifted on the bed, his eyes no longer as clear as the skies outside as an inky darkness swirled inside them—at first you figured it was just a trick of the light, a trick your mind was playing on you.

“Okay guys, did you get enough footage?” Hoseok questioned the camera crew, getting a resounding thumbs up and they all shared their farewells as the director clapped Hoseok on the shoulder, saying it was another heartfelt episode that he’s sure viewers will love.

“And your chemistry! Definitely something spicy to have brought to the show, you two. It’ll surely get good ratings from the female audience, especially the ones who’ve shared their thoughts on our mastermind here.” The director chuckled as he pointed at Hoseok, giving him a hearty handshake and a thoughtful one to you before saying his own goodbye, leaving the two of you in the bedroom of the bus-turned-home. Neither of you moved an inch as the sounds of rumbling engines droned off in the distance, confirming that the others had left; that you two were utterly alone in the immediate vicinity.

“So, now that the cameras are off,” Hoseok turned to face you where you lied still on the bed, the light from the window essentially casting a spotlight on you. “What do you really think of the bus?”

A playful grin toyed on your lips and you couldn’t help but tease, as a form of punishment for the tailored torture Hoseok had been performing on you all this time.

“It’s terrible, I hate it.” Even with the words rolling off your tongue, the smile you refused to hide was a dead giveaway and Hoseok returned his own 1000-watt grin. The two of you felt some bubbling spark and suddenly you’re laughing, holding your stomach as the giggles overtook you. Hoseok seemed to have the same witchy effect on him as he doubled over in a fit of laughter, the two of you under some spell that had you on your backs on the bed. As he clutched his own stomach, you wiped at a tear that squeezed its way out as your laughter came harder.

Once the two of you had sufficiently calmed down, Hoseok looked up at you from where he lied, upside down and still as stunning as ever.

“What?” You touched your face, trying to see if maybe there had been something there that had Hoseok’s complete attention. As his wispy eyelashes fanned down with every slow blink, Hoseok drank in the vision of you; bathing in the warm sunlight and surrounded in the soft shades of gray that he painted every inch of your new bedroom in.

“Nothing, you’re just really beautiful.”

“Oh shut up, the cameras are gone Hoseok, no need to pretend anymore.” You brushed his compliment off as you finally took the time to look off into the distance, really appreciating the window that Hoseok put here.

Mind wandering, you hadn’t registered the sounds of the mattress creaking or the feeling of a warm body edging closer to yours until his breath fanned over your ear, making you whip your head around to meet Hoseok’s face directly in front of you own. Instinct told you to jump back and scream at the surprise of his proximity but his hand on your thigh and his lips on yours stopped your mind completely, shutting down all motor functions and rendering you both helpless and useless.

His lips were plump, soft and warm like a muffin fresh from the oven. You swore you tasted coconut on him, something tropical enough to make you feel like kissing him was a vacation; long awaited paradise with warm sand in between your toes and the breeze licking at your cheekbones. His breath mingled with your as his lips melded in further with your own, his craftsmanship extending past renovating things as his mouth worked some sort of mastered sorcery on yours.

You couldn’t even begin to describe how his kiss matched his hands, something along the soft lines of silk but still as firm as fresh fruit, the similarities making you dizzy but there was Hoseok; always ready to catch you. His strong arms framed your face and deepened the kiss, as he hovered over you. His tongue swept over your own and you couldn’t help but succumb to Hoseok’s charms, not knowing what spurred this on but also not caring enough to put a stop to it. Not when his hands felt so right on you and his body heat radiated and made your body feel warm to the touch despite having to constantly battle chills.

It took no time for his deft fingers to unbutton the shirt he had on, whipping off the plaid to reveal a toned body glistening with the slightest sheen of sweat from the combined heat of both your interaction and the lack of air conditioning since the bus hadn’t been turned on yet. Your eyes had a mind of their own as they greedily took heady gulps of Hoseok’s body, every dip and curve now forever etched in your memories.

Hoseok grinned and let you ogle him, taking the time to covertly make work of your buttons on your bottoms. It was when the final button snapped open that you realized his sneaky hands and you scoffed, playfully batting at him to scold his naughty fingers. He only laughed at your reaction, his hands sliding past your pants to slip under your top, the heat of his palms against your hip bones. Hoseok was silently asking permission, his thumbs gripping the fabric of your shirt until you responded. Anticipation brimmed at his fingertips and he was itching to rip the shirt off; to finally reveal the skin underneath.

When you nodded, it was like Christmas morning to the man.

He scanned your body, making sure to never forget just how gorgeous you were even in the barest of materials. The wine red of your bra accentuated your skin so well, Hoseok had half a mind to keep it on as he made love to you but he needed to see all of you, he felt like he’d just die if he couldn’t have all of you tonight.

Lips were back together, now with the sharp tang of ferocity biting between the two of you; static sparks tingling the nerves in your tongues as Hoseok took the time to unhook your bra amidst the blur of it all.

Once you were bared for him, he wasted no time in laving your breasts with his tongue. His peach plump pout peppered pecks over your pectorals, right above where your heart was thudding loudly against your ribcage. He worshipped your body with his lips, making sure not to miss a single inch of what he’d been longing for.

When you whimpered his name, he knew he couldn’t wait any longer to have you.

With his deft digits, he made work of removing the remainder of your clothes, leaving you bare for him on the mattress whilst his lower body still remained clothed. You wanted to remedy that as soon as possible and as you distracted him by sitting up and latching your mouth onto his thick neck, suckling small bruises there that stained his porcelain skin so well you couldn’t wait to see them bloom in various colors as they healed, you reached to palm him though his bottoms. He groaned at the feeling, head lolling back and revealing even more milky skin to attack.

You felt him trembling beneath your ministrations, clearly craving more but holding back.

“Hoseok,” He brought his head back up to look deeply into your eyes, gaze flickering down for a second as you darted your tongue out to wet your lips before continuing. “It’s okay, please don’t be afraid with me.”

His eyes softened, the pitch black pools fizzing into soft cocoa puddles, slightly more shimmered with a dewy wetness that you found endearing. With a small smile, his hands found yours and brought them to his mouth, each knuckle being carefully kissed before he finally rested them back into his lap, permission to continue.

His pants were off as well as his briefs and whilst you appreciated how gorgeous he looked completely nude—something akin to a Greek god, no doubt the perfect rendition of the priceless marble statues save for the more… intimate regions that he certainly did not lack in—you had some more urgent matters to attend to. As did Hoseok, if the flush on his length the steady dripping from the leaking head of it was anything to go by.

One could describe the setting to be poetic; a housewarming of sorts.

No better way to break in a house like breaking in the headboard first.

Hoseok’s calloused yet tender hands gingerly touched you all over, making you itch with arousal and need for him to touch you where you needed him most. He smiled, grin as bright as ever, as he continued to tease.

You took matters into your own hands as you deftly flipped the two of you over, nearly bouncing off completely from the freshness of the mattress springs. Erupting into yet another fit of giggles, you manage to stifle yours in the crook of his neck and despite the obvious distraction, Hoseok’s hands still managed to glide over your skin almost in a calculated manner; like he knew every place to graze to have you trembling.

“Now, now, that’s enough of that,” You chastised, stealing a kiss as you tried to pretend to take the reins. You maneuvered yourself to lay on you back once more, dragging Hoseok to follow you and cage you in. He took no time to accept his role, already kissing all over your face as one of his hands slid down to your core—a stark contrast to the gentle pecks he had trailed all across your cheeks. You weren’t expecting his finger to already make way inside you, gasping at the intrusion.

He continued to press his lips against yours as he worked you open, drinking in all your needy mewls and sultry moans as he pressed further, inching in another digit and stroking your walls in ways you’re sure you’d never be able to mimic when you’re by yourself.

“Baby, tell me when,” Hoseok whispered, breathless pants puffing against your collarbones, clearly trying to make sure you’re comfortable and feeling good but at the detriment of his own pleasure. You raised your leg and it brushed against his member, making him audibly whine against you.

“Now Hoseok, please. I want you.” He looked into your eyes again, the stare almost piercing but in a way you could only describe as tender.

His lips made their way from yours all the way to your ear, leaving a searing trail of kisses in their wake before he softly spoke into the shell of your ear, his breath audible with every labored syllable.

“Protection?” You turned your head to face him head on, mouthing I trust you and Hoseok couldn’t have looked more relieved if he tried, wanting to feel every bit of you but not knowing how to ask without seeming selfish.

His hand reached down and he guided himself inside you, using the other to spread your legs and allow him to ease his way in with minimal discomfort for you. Considerate as ever, he bottomed out slowly and kissed your nose as you closed your eyes and focused on not splitting in half.

His thick girth left you with a satisfactory fullness, having never felt such a feeling with a partner before. Despite every reason Hoseok had to be cocky with his body and sex appeal, he gave you every single minute you needed to adjust, down to the millisecond. He whispered sweet praises to you until you finally gave him the signal to move, even then still treating you like fine china as he pulled out and slowly thrusted back in.

The slow burn of his length inside you coaxed an open flame inside your belly, making your kisses turn hungry once more. Gone was the gentle, playful air that had radiated off the two of you as the atmosphere shifted to something darker, spicier.

Hoseok noted the change and began to grind into you harder, his kisses now laced with his devilish tongue and the barest hint of teeth. As his cock fucked into you with more passion, your body took on a mind of its own as your back arched and toes curled from the spine-tingling sensation of Hoseok fucking you just right. Pleased with himself, Hoseok hummed with his own pleasure, never having felt such a tight, hot heat around him like this. No one compared, the tension that coiled so tightly between the two of you throughout the span of the show having been so intense that now, in the culmination of it all, it felt like the two of you were about to burst.

You teetered on the edge of coming for too long, not wanting to end this too soon but also feeling yourself fray at the corners from the relentless pleasure that Hoseok was managing to tear from you with ease. As you came apart underneath him, Hoseok wasted no time in clutching underneath your thighs, delving deeper inside than before. The feeling had you breathless, the wind knocked out of you long ago with just the mere sight of Hoseok; clothed or not.

“Angel, baby, I need you to come for me,” Hoseok whimpered, feeling his sanity slip from him as you continued to clench around him agonizingly.

And with that command, you were wrapped around his finger—or cock, same deal—and his word was law, having your orgasm hit you by surprise. Never had you come on command like that, but it was intense and breathtaking and everything that dirty novels wax poetry about.

Hoseok bared down and bit on the junction of your neck as he rode out his own high, taking a few more harsh thrusts inside you before his rhythm began to escape him and he sloppily came inside you, the warmth both startling and oddly satisfying. You let him catch his breath whilst still inside you, needing to catch your own as well if you had to be completely honest.

As he stayed inside, you slowly regained focus of the world; realizing where you were and just how heavy Hoseok actually was.

“Um… could you like, get off me?” You strained to speak, the weight on your lungs crushing the oxygen out of your words. Hoseok shook with laughter, that and the breathless chuckles against your neck indicating that he was laughing once more, and he dragged you into joining him as he gently pulled out; as gingerly as he’d done most everything else so far.

He plopped down on his back next to you, eyes gazing lovingly at the ceiling. He slowly let gravity do its work and his head came to rest on his arm, gaze refocusing on you as you become the main attraction; the target in his sights. You return the look with as much warmth as you could muster, hoping that even post-sex, you could still try to look good enough for him.

The way Hoseok was looking at you, it sort of terrified you. How one could look at someone so… sweetly, purely, even after such a lewd act? Yet here Hoseok was, managing it all while still looking like something straight out of a magazine—his after-sex glow had you beyond jealous, why couldn’t sweat work that way for you?

“You know, you look at me as if I hung the moon for you.” You couldn’t help your smart mouth from commenting, fighting the stash of giggles you felt bubbling from the base of your tummy and settling just behind your palate.

“Maybe you did? Have you ever considered that?”

“Ugh, so cheesy. Shut up, I thought those were just tropes for the show, to get women to like you.”

“Nope, all me.” Hoseok beamed and you resisted the urge to smother him with one of the decorative pillows he’d carefully picked out, yet another fine choice by the man.

“So, I guess we should say our goodbyes, right?” You digressed, longingly removing your eyes from him to focus on something past his lying figure, not wanting to truly come to terms with the idea of having to abandon the dreamlike lifestyle you’d envisioned with Hoseok, knowing this was probably a one-time thing and—

“What are you talking about? I really like you Y/N, was that not obvious enough?” His eyebrows furrowed in concern while yours shot up towards your hairline, not believing that his advances were actually legitimate. “Guess I should’ve used more pickup lines…”

“Hoseok, are you for real right now? Because if this is some elaborate business scheme or prank for TV, I’ll never forgive you. And I’ll probably sue for emotional distress.” You couldn’t hide the hope that glimmered in your eyes like shining pebbles in a babbling brook, the waters crashing against the creek and making your eyes get a little dewy at the thought of Hoseok being yours.

“Of course Y/N, I would never even dream of such a cruel prank! You’re really beautiful and sweet and lovely and… you’re like me. You’re a dreamer with a blank canvas and you’re dying to fill it with the colors of your mind but, sometimes it’s easier to paint with someone to help. And Y/N, I really want to color my world with you, you’re the only one I want.” Despite the slight lack of eloquence in Hoseok’s words, you still found every single bit endearing, feeling the emotion behind him as he spoke. It only served to make your eyes water more.

“Please Y/N, may I be your plus one on these travels?”

“But… the show, what will happen if you’re constantly traveling with me?” You tried to fight the pout on your lips, you really did, but it still puckered out and Hoseok chuckled at just how cute it made you look.

“The show is in its final episodes for the season, we’ve already filmed the big finale and I only need to reveal one more customers bus and that’s it!”

“Hopefully you don’t… celebrate like this with everyone after the big reveal, right?”

Hoseok laughed and this time you didn’t suppress your urge to hit him with a pillow, kissing him right after as he whined about getting hurt.

“No, just you baby. Now, shall we take this baby out for a test ride?”

“Are we talking about the bus or you?”

“Either works for me.”

“Me too.”

In a dust cloud of laughter and warmth, the two of you set off to complete your new home with a few finishing touches to truly make it yours and in the meantime, you get to test out the stability and sturdiness of the furniture Hoseok built. It was very educational, for sure.

From here on out, it was a journey with your new companion, and you had hopes that one day, you could repay Hoseok for giving you what you’ve always dreamed of:

A home.

619 notes · View notes