#idk it just really sucks on top of everything else lol

[thisanimal]

holy moly i am not good

#ive been sick for like a week now. and i think ive been sick for so long because i had covid + work stress so im not recovering as fast #and i have a really big meeting at work tomorrow #that im supposed to be in charge of…….and i uhhhh do Not feel prepared #and i was supposed to do pre work this weekend……but i said f that and actually kinda relaxed on my holiday break #so now i have to scramble tomorrow lol. and hopefully run through it with my manager beforehand?? #tough to really care at all when im already one foot out the door at this place lol #and i thiiiiiink my 15 year old dog is gonna get put down probably after the holidays #he has a big lump on his neck……no test results yet but it’s grown really fast so like. that cant be anything good #and idk i obviously know hes really old and his health has been declining and this winter will be really tough on him #but omg it does not make it easierrrrrr…….. #ive had him since like 3rd grade. hes my baby :( my first dog #and i have a lot of guilt for not spending as much time with him since i went to college and started working #idk it just really sucks on top of everything else lol #genuinely think ill have a breakdown for at least a week when he actually passes #i might try to request the first week of jan off but i dont think work will like that #just to emotionally prepare idk #i need like a month off tbh #im leaning so hard towards quitting #or seeing a doc to get stress related leave of abscence #because my brain is breaking #i feel like ive been half a person for the last two years #personal

[ashdreams2023]

hello! I honestly never know where to request cause idk what submission means cause English isn’t my first language and the translation isnt really clear so I’ll just request here I hope u don’t mind<3 anyway I was wondering if you could do a harry j potter x fem!reader smut and I have 2 ideas (all takes place in hbp cause it’s legal to have sex at 16 there I think?$ so 1st one is that soft!harry and reader are dating but haven’t really done anything yet except for dry humping and heated makeouts but they want to go further and harry fingers her for the first time and she’s like afraid to cum cause she’s never done this before and he’s like “it’s okay love, you can let go” and he guides her through this cause he’s kinda more experienced so basically just very fluffy smut or the second one where soft!dom harry and reader are dating and they have sex for the first time only reader is a virgin and she’s very insecure and harry isn’t so she’s like very shy but he assures her like “it’s just me, don’t be embarrassed” and it’s like all loving and fluffy and cute<3 only if you’re comfortable tho! I hope you understood everything (I’m gonna get out of fucking Poland one day and learn English perfectly im telling you) sorry that’s kinda long, anyway, thank you!

I get you lol but for the sake of keeping everything together ima mush them up together 👌

Trust me

Harry James potter x female reader

Warnings: nsfw, first time.

You thought finding out you’re a witch was the craziest thing that could ever happen to you but as years go by, it’s proven to be just the tip of the iceberg.

Just last summer you went on a one on one with death eaters in the ministry of magic and made it out alive.

After that summer came and with it came Harry Potter, who happened to live in the same little town your grandparents lived in.

You spent a lot of time together, he was heartbroken and felt alone, you tried to comfort him and take his mind off things, it took a while but he opened up to you.

One thing lead to another and he kissed you a few weeks after his birthday, fast forward to the end of the summer and things kept getting heated.

You didn’t know if it was because you were both hormonal or was it because he wanted something else to focus on but you knew one thing, you really liked the way he kissed and touched you.

It wasn’t a secret that you two were close either, everyone noticed the way he dozed off looking at you when he thought you weren’t looking, and the hand holding underneath the table, the subtle touches in the halls, a blind person could sense it.

"I thought I was gonna die in there" he kissed you then pushed you on his bed, the dorms were empty and he had the entire space for himself.

"Oh don’t be mean to old sprout, she was just trying to help" you pulled him on top of you and warped your arms around his neck then pulled him down, his lips touched yours in a heated kiss that made your fingertips tingle.

"I was dying out there" he smiled against your lips then dragged his lips to your neck and nippled on your soft skin.

You sighed at the feeling of his lips, his teeth dug into your flesh playfully and his lips sucked on the spot until you let out a desperate moan.

"Merlin you sound brilliant" he lowered his head, pressing his forehead to your chest and catching his breath, his heart raced with anticipation "Can I have you?"

You bit down on your bottom lip, the warmth on your skin was permanent "Yes."

He quickly took off his shirt then helped you with yours, his eyes lingered at your exposed breasts before cursing under his breath and taking the rest of his clothes off.

He’s seen you half naked before but this was different.

The second every article of clothing was on the floor, you latched onto each others bodies, his hands explored every part of exposed skin he could reach, but paid special attention to your breasts, they were just perfect and he was just a guy.

"Are you sure you want this?" You suddenly blurted.

Harry paused and looked down at you "are you uncomfortable with this? Do you want me to stop?"

You shook your head then looked away "it’s just…I haven’t done this before and I’m not sure I’m appealing enough to-"

"Are you naked underneath me or not?"

"Yes I am…"

"Do you see me doing this to anyone but you?"

"No but-"

"Shush then, I like you and only you…I’m glad I’m doing this with you, you don’t have to continue if you don’t want too"

You stared up at him with wide eyes, you hadn’t expected this reaction, Harry was the chosen one, many girls swooned over him and thought he was quite cute.

"I want too"

"Then do you trust me?"

"Yes."

His hand slipped down to your clit, rubbing it with his finger and riling you up slowly, your body tensed and begged for more.

His fingers felt like magic.

You moaned and gripped his shoulders tightly, digging your nails into his flesh and marking him.

"H-Harry!"

"Does it feel good?"

That was the most confident you’ve seen him off a broom, Harry was usually awkward and sometimes it was just unbreakable.

"Yeah…" your mouth opened when he pushed his finger in, slowly. You reached your hand and touched his dick, it was hard and he hissed when you touched it.

You were soaking and wanted to go onto the next step already but Harry seemed to enjoy torturing you.

He pushed the second finger in and groaned when you clenched around his fingers, your hips moved up and the filthy moans spread in the dorm room.

Harry licked his lips then licked your nipple, it made you shiver.

His cock twitched in your hand.

"I’m going to" your breath hitched when he pulled his fingers out and climbed completely on top of you and slid himself inside of you.

You throw your head back on his pillow and moaned, his hands held you tight by the hips.

Harry groaned as he moved inside of you, you felt amazing, perfect around him.

"So good…you’re so good" he moaned loudly as he kept pushing.

Your body moved along his, it wasn’t uncomfortable but very strange feeling, something new, you felt so full.

"Are you ok?" He breathed, his face was flushed and his green eyes shine with something almost dark.

"Yes" you replied warping your arms around his neck and kissing him, you felt heat build up inside of you and your legs felt weak, shaking slightly as he pounded inside of you.

"Perfect, bloody hell you’re perfect" Harry mumbled kissing your cheek and the rest of your face with breathless butterfly kisses.

Your body reached it’s limit but you didn’t want to let go yet, what if you ruin it? What if Harry regrets doing it with you because of that?!

Thankfully your boyfriend noticed your panicked expression and pressed his lips to your forehead for reassurance "it’s ok, everything is ok, just let go, you can cum" that’s all it took to loosen up your nerves and release on his dick with a silent scream and arched back.

He held you close as the climax road your body and made sure that every muscle in your body would remember this for a while after.

Harry sighed in relief as he pushed inside you a few more times then pulled out and came on your chest.

He laid next to you and pulled the blanket over you both, his face seemed peaceful and the without the glasses, he looked somewhat different, he didn’t look like his father, he was more mature, his face was sharp but soft around the eyes, he was very handsome.

"Thank you" he said.

"For what?"

"For trusting me"

You smiled softly at him then scooted closer to him, at this moment he wasn’t the wizarding world’s young hero, he was just Harry, your Harry.

"I think…I love you" you said ever so delicately.

A boyish grin spread on his face "Little old me?"

"Oh shut up!"

"No say it again!"

A/N: sorry if there was any misspelling or grammar mistakes, I wrote this in one go, so hopefully it’s good enough!

#imagine #harry james potter #harry potter requests #harry james potter x reader #harry james potter smut #harry potter x y/n #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter oneshot #harry potter fandom #harry potter x reader

[h0rnyauth0r]

könig saves you during your first mission working with his team, and you develop a huge crush on him! he likes you too, so you decide to fuck <3 (also i included the name of one character from the game, she's really pretty so i wanted to include her on the side lol)

I NEVER REALIZED THAT I WAS IN LOVE WITH HIM UNTIL NOW AND IT'S BAD.

dni if young pls! <3

word count: 4.3k (i literally want to fuck him so bad. if he and ghost would tag team me i would literally die happy. i'd sell my soul and crawl to the ends of the earth for them to just demolish me. thank you.)

tws: reader with vagina, unprotected sex, pussy eating, fingering, rough sex, choking, cumming inside, idk what else honestly.

you can feel the anxiety coursing through your veins as you step onto the platform, fully dressed and prepared for the plane ride to your mission. you’re new to the kortac team, having worked with calisto a few times but having no other experience with the group.

you know nothing other than everyone’s names, but they seem welcoming enough. that’s the least of your worries, you just don’t want to fuck up and ruin the mission for everyone else.

it’s not long before you’re seated on the plane, strapped in as you prepare for the ride. your orders are to eliminate a terrorist group that has stationed themselves in a rural town. they murdered most of the townsfolk and are planning an attack on the united states.

you’ve been ordered to remain stealthy with these targets, as there are more of them than there are of your group. it would be far too easy to end up dead if not careful, so you’re going to be as slow and quiet as possible.

the base you were stationed at wasn’t too far from the area you’ll be landing at, just an hour long flight. you will be walking and infiltrating from there, hopefully not raising any attention when the plane drops you off.

you’ve tried ignoring your only distraction among these plans, which just so happens to be one of your team members. the large man never spoke to you, but calisto said he suffers from social anxiety so he’s likely going to remain silent around you.

as much as it sucks, you can’t help but find him so intriguing. he’s attractive, even with his face hidden. seeing nothing but his dark eyes staring at you when you first showed up caused a heat to rise in your pants that you’d rather not admit exists.

and so you decided to avoid him, not wanting to do anything that may make him uncomfortable. feeling attracted to him makes you feel guilty, so the mission will be your top priority now.

you decide to occupy yourself by sorting through your pouches, noting that every item you need is there. you nearly forgot your throwing knives back at the base, but luckily you managed to grab them as you were heading out.

everything seems satisfactory as you close up your final pouch resting on your thigh. you can feel someone staring at you, so you look up and notice könig’s eyes on your body.

your eyes meet with his and he looks away, turning his head to the right. your face feels hot as you look down and decide to fiddle around with the straps on your pants.

you feel like a teenager again, taking deep breaths to calm down as you notice the feeling of the plane descending to the ground. as it does so, you finally unstrap your body from the seating and meet up at the front of the plane.

the group is there, listening to the captain remind everyone of the task at hand and what should be done for now. after you’re done here, the government will do cleanup for you. 

your head is finally clear as you grab onto one of the guns at the base of the plane and quickly exit, separating from the large group and breaking off into smaller sections.

the set of buildings is about a 10 minute walk, and you jog forward towards the terrorist area. it’s night, but the place is well-lit. it will be difficult to maintain stealth, but taking out the guards will make it easier.

you opt to do that once you approach, noticing your team take the furthest ones out as you sneak further in and use your knives on the majority of them.

the mission continues rather smoothly as you approach the building you have been assigned to, climbing through one of the windows and stabbing one of the people hidden inside.

you notice there’s a lot of different forms of terroristic propaganda in the room, flags and flyers amongst others. you decide to look around for anything of value to mention to your captain but find nothing, heading out and into one of the many halls.

as you walk down the hall, you can hear talking. panic rises in your chest as you notice several men racing towards you, freezing in place as you try to find anywhere to go.

it’s difficult to see, but a hand grasps onto your wrist and slams you into a gap in the walls. you look up with a panic, calming down once you notice könig looking down at you with a finger pressed against where his mouth likely is.

“quiet.” he whispers, body pressing against you and causing your face to heat up with embarrassment. your head is against his chest as the people walk by, somehow not noticing your bodies pressed together in the small space.

when they pass by, the two of you both throw knives at the same time. two of the men drop, but the others notice and turn towards you. that’s when you decide to go for it and quickly shoot them with your pistol, running down the hallway as other gunshots begin raining out.

the others have begun shooting, meaning that now is the time to quickly take these people out before they call more to the area. you pick up a radio from one of the many bodies left out, listening in for information but not understanding the language being spoken.

you decide to carry on with könig for now, sweeping different rooms and eventually making your way to a different floor. after a lot of work and almost running out of ammo a few times, your radio sounds.

“all clear. head out of the buildings and we can have a meeting once we get back to base.” your captain says, and you send an acknowledgement forward.

you notice that könig hasn’t spoken to you as you both walk out of the building with the others, but you decide to speak up. “thank you. i probably would’ve died if you weren’t there.” your voice is shaky as you talk, feeling a little worried about making him uncomfortable.

he nods his head. “you are welcome.”

your interactions are very rare for a while after that, but he eventually warms up to you more. sometimes you will sit together for meals, and sometimes partner up during missions.

in the back of your mind, that lust for him never quite goes away. it hits you hard when you have a wet dream while staying on a foreign base, hours before an important mission.

your panties soaked through, thighs trembling, and clit unbearably hard. your dream consisted of him fucking you hard on a table in front of everyone, which felt so humiliating but so exhilarating at the same time.

you felt too embarrassed to look at him for a few days, trying so hard to avoid another dream like that. thankfully you don’t, and after a month you manage to move on and continue like before.

the feelings for him never fade, though. you notice it one day during a mission when he gently puts a hand on your back to lead you through a building, butterflies building up in your stomach just from his touch.

it happens a few times here and there, often during missions you notice. he’ll just barely touch you for a moment, and let go seconds later. it flusters you every single time, and makes it very difficult to focus at times.

today is no different, the two of you working together to stop a group of russians from going through with an attack. after the mission has ended, you’re both scaling the building to make sure that there aren’t any escapees or survivors.

after it’s been settled, he gently pulls on your arm while you head out. your eyes look down at where his large hand is and you find your face heating up again. you almost feel like a teenager again with how flustered you become, but you just continue about.

you’ll be staying in a small house with the others, designed to be a place to reconvene and discuss the details of what had gone on. thankfully, you don’t have to share a room tonight.

part of you wants to though, specifically with the austrian man who constantly takes over your thoughts. you shake that thought out of your head as you continue walking into the house, finding the room you were assigned to and deciding to finally change into regular clothing.

after changing, you finally go into the living room area and see others gathered together. you notice how könig has decided to keep his face cover on, which disappoints you mildly but you understand that he probably has his reasons.

you take a seat on a small couch by yourself, noticing the way he decides to take a look at you before slyly meandering his way over to you and sitting beside you. you try your best to not get flustered and listen in on what the others are saying about your assignment.

it’s not long before you zone out, bored of this already. your eyes just barely glance over to könig and you notice the way his large legs are spread out, an elbow placed against his knee as he boredly leans forward with his eyes lidded shut.

he looks so fucking hot right now and you don’t understand why. he’s doing something so simple, but yet it sends shivers down your spine and you can’t find the courage to take your eyes off of him.

you do, though, once his eyes flutter over to yours. you become flustered instantly, deciding to quickly lean away and focus on the window beside you. you nearly jump out of your skin when one of his hands just barely touches your thigh.

you swallow hard, glancing down and seeing the way his hand squeezes on your tight pants. it’s such a small act, but you want to take him into your room and make him fuck you until there’s nothing left in your head other than the thought of his cock.

now you’re trying especially hard to pay attention, wanting nothing more than to make your intentions obvious. just his hand touching your thigh makes you this stupid, you need to pay attention more before something bad may happen.

after a few more minutes of talking, you notice that everyone decides that you can continue discussing in the morning as it’s gotten rather late. calisto mentions that relaxation would be better than working right now, and you can’t help but agree with her words.

however, relaxing is the least of what you want right now. the only thing you want is sitting beside you, watching your every breath and movement. you’re trying your best to play it cool, but you can tell that you’re bad at it.

his hand suddenly leaves you and you’re looking to your left where he’s sat, noticing the way he stands up and stretches the slightest amount. you’re biting down harshly on your bottom lip as your eyes land between his legs. how did you not notice the absolutely massive bulge in his pants before?

you inhale sharply, trying so hard to just push the thoughts of him away. but he makes it rather difficult when he reaches a hand out, and you take it.

“would you like to come with me?” he asks you.

yes, you’re thinking, in more ways than one.

you nod your head thoughtlessly, feeling the small tug as he begins walking you away from your team and down the hallway. your legs already feel like jelly, anticipation bubbling up and causing your breathing to pick up slightly.

you don’t know what’s going to happen, maybe it’s nothing. but you feel your skin become hotter as he leads you to your room, almost sweating as you notice the way he closes and even locks the door.

the way you’re standing there blankly is embarrassing for you, not knowing what to do. your thighs are pressed together tightly, your eyes on his body as he walks up to you. one of his hands reaches out and touches your face, and you can barely breathe as his fingers brush over your lips.

you look into his eyes in that moment, noticing the want that shows in his too. you find yourself reaching out and touching the hood covering his face, beginning to pull it up slowly. his body goes stiff for a moment, before he relaxes and nods at you to continue.

you almost hesitate, but pull it off. you gulp when you notice his features, and just how good looking he really is. his lips look so kissable, a nice jawline, and you can’t help but fall further into the depths of wanting him.

you can feel your body shaking as you look into his eyes, feeling one of his hands reach out and touch your waist. you’re not sure what to do or even say as you look at one another, before he looks away and speaks up softly.

“can i kiss you?”

you use your hand to turn his face toward yours as you nod, leaning closer to his body as your lips finally meet. his lips are so very soft and for a small kiss, it has you dizzy with pleasure and you can feel your clit throbbing in your pants.

when your lips pull away, he’s grabbing onto you and leading you to the bed that’s next to you, pushing your body down onto the bed as he leans over you. his hands are on either side of your head, strong thigh pressed in between your legs and pushing into your core.

he leans down to you and your lips are connected again, this time in a much more heated manner. you groan out against his lips, tongues intertwining as he moves feverishly against you. when his thigh pushes against you again, you squeak into his mouth and your toes curl in the slightest.

you end up unconsciously grinding your hips into his thigh as you kiss, breathing heavily into his mouth before his lips move down to your neck and he bites down hard. the action has you gasping out loudly, quickly covering your mouth with a hand as he looks to you.

“no, don’t do that. i want to hear every little noise you make for me.”

his voice is much deeper than normal, sending shivers down your spine as you move your hand away from your mouth. he begins sucking on your neck, certainly leaving marks that you’ll have to worry about in the morning but you couldn’t care less in the moment.

the way he moves along your throat sends your head back into the pillow, hands fisting the sheets as your eyes shut tightly. you feel his hands touch your tits, squeezing and feeling you up. the feeling sends shocks to your core, biting down on your lip harshly.

he pulls back and begins tugging on your shirt, and you open your eyes and lift your back up so he can take your shirt off. he looks down to your bra and back up to you, quickly unclasping it and tossing it to the side along with your shirt.

as he looks at your body, a hand reaches out and plays with your nipples. you moan quietly, biting down on your lip as you look at him. “schön.” he mutters under his breath, fingers pinching gently before he eventually starts fiddling with the waistband of your pants.

you gaze up at him, “can you take that off?” your voice is quiet as you point to his shirt, and he nods the smallest amount as he does so. your eyes immediately look over his chest, almost bulging out of your head as you admire him.

you knew he’d be muscular, but he’s so much hotter than you ever thought he’d be. with his broad shoulders and all, the sight of his abs and just how toned he is makes you almost drool.

you’re certain that you’re in love with him now.

“you’re hot.” you say, eyes looking back up at his to see him sheepishly smile for a moment. seeing him after so long makes you want him so much more, and you’re not sure how you’ve held back for as long as you have.

he grasps onto your hips for a moment, squeezing harshly as he looks over your naked top half. he decides to tug your pants down and off of your body, leaning you in nothing but your panties now. you feel embarrassed when you look down and see that there’s a very prominent wet patch.

but when his eyes look down and see it, he just brings a finger down and brushes it against you. “you’re so wet for me.” his finger reaches into your panties and pulls them aside, gently rubbing against your clit and making you bite down harshly on your bottom lip.

he moves his body down towards your crotch, finally pulling your panties off of your body as his head dips down and he begins kissing your thighs. you can feel yourself becoming more wet, dripping even, as his lips make their way to your folds.

the way his tongue teases you for a moment makes you anticipate him devouring your pussy more, and when his tongue swipes against your clit you’re crying out desperately.

his lips and tongue move against your clit as a finger pushes against your hole and quickly thrusts into you. as his fingers pick up momentum, his tongue does too, and soon enough your hands are tangled in his hair.

you tug against him, hips grinding against his face for more than he can give. he adds a second finger, thrusting harder and making you moan more and more. you’re ashamed to admit how close you are already, but you whimper out the word ‘close’ and he acknowledges it by moving faster.

the sounds echoing in the room are your moans and the lewd squelching of your pussy, and you’re hoping that nobody can hear the noises through the door or the walls. his fingers amplify the noise as they thrust harder and begin curling up into you.

the feeling of his tongue circling your clit sends you closer to the edge, moans becoming more breathy and toes curling hard- before he pulls back completely.

your eyebrows furrow as you look at him, whining in frustration. “w-why?” your clit almost hurts now, pussy feeling empty and abandoned as your whole orgasm is ruined and taken from you in such a cruel manner. but he just stares down at you smugly, climbing off of the bed to remove his pants and eventually his underwear too.

“i think i’d rather you cum on my cock.” his words make your whole body heat up, noticing the way his cock springs up when he pulls his underwear down. even his cock is hot to you, long and thick and leaking a small amount at the tip.

you bite down on your lip as you stare, wanting so badly to shove his entire cock down your throat until you’re crying and filled with his cum. but you look away, back up to him and notice the way he’s eyeballing your body as well.

he approaches you again, pushing your body down harshly and pulling your thighs to the edge of the bed. he tugs your legs open and his hand reaches for his cock and starts rubbing it against your clit and your soaking folds, sliding up and down before finally pushing the tip in.

your eyes roll back from the feeling, fingernails digging into his wrist that’s been placed beside your body on the bed. he’s barely pushed into you, but you’re already so full and so overwhelmed.

he pushes in slowly, the stretch making you arch your back against him and cry out. as each inch enters you further, you can eventually feel him begin pushing up against your cervix and you notice the way that tears begin to blur your vision.

it hurts how much he’s stretching you, but at the same time your cunt has turned into a complete waterfall with the way his cock hits every single sweet spot inside of you. you feel so full, but somehow even fuller when he bottoms out.

“so tight…” he says quietly, hands grabbing onto your hips as he slowly pulls out and pushes in. you’re crying now, moaning out his name from just the smallest of thrusts. his cock is massive, almost making you cum just from how big he is.

your eyes are clenched shut as he moves slowly, but hard. “please.” you say lowly. you want so much more, you want him to hurt you. all you want is for him to fuck you until you pass out right now, and he’s being far too gentle for you.

“please what?”

you swallow down the embarrassment now. “fuck me. please. hard, fast, i don’t care anymore.” you moan out, tears still streaming down your face as you feel his hips pull back and start moving more harsh against you.

as his hips pick up a more rough, fast pace, your moans are loud. they almost overtake the sound of his hips slamming into you, wet slapping sounds bouncing off of the walls and now absolutely likely to be heard from anyone who walks by.

even the bed starts creaking, his fingernails breaking the flesh of your hips as he thrusts into you. you’re looking at his face, noticing the way his jaw is clenched and sweat is gathering at his forehead. his chest is rising and falling quickly, fucking into you harder and harder.

it feels so good and you can just barely breathe, wanting him to completely ruin you. one of his hands moves up to your tits, squeezing hard as he leans down and sucks on them. he’s leaving dark purple marks on your skin, hips picking up a harder pace as your nails begin scratching against his back.

he leans up more, lips against yours now as he thrusts into you. he’s letting out small groans here and there, and the way he sounds makes you feel like you’re going to explode.

his teeth pull against your bottom lip, sucking in your lip roughly and drawing blood. the feeling makes you cry out against him, nails digging into his skin deeper as he thrusts into you harder.

as your tongues brush together, you feel his hand grasp onto your throat and push down the slightest amount. you feel yourself become dizzy with pleasure, your orgasm approaching at a fast pace with the feeling of his cock fucking into you harder.

“go on, cum on my cock.” his words are what take you off the edge.

your back arches once it finally hits, crying out against his mouth as your cunt clenches against his cock and gushes out more of your juices than before. your fingers cling onto his back as you come down from your high, his thrusts elongating the feeling of your orgasm.

you’re saying his name in a whimper as his grip on your throat tightens, your whole body shaking as tears flow from the overstimulation. his thrusts begin to get more frantic now, his own orgasm finally approaching after so long.

“gonna cum in you.” he says, voice rough with pleasure as you nod your head along with his words. you can barely see or even think straight, but his cum filling you up is something you crave now.

“please, fill me up.” you moan, gasping out in pleasure as his cock twitches and finally fills your cunt up to the rim. his cum is warm as he keeps thrusting, cum starting to leak out of you and make squelching noises from the force of his moving.

he lets out the prettiest moan afterwards, eyes clenched shut as he slowly comes to a stop with his dick sitting inside of you. you try to catch your breath once his hand is removed from your throat, eyes looking up at him with so much adoration.

you wipe away your tears, feeling his cock finally slide out of you and the sound of some of your combined juices dripping onto the floor beneath you. you look at his cock and see that it’s still large even when not erect, and you fall back onto the bed from how tired you are.

“you have no idea how long i’ve wanted that.” you say to him, eyes closing as you move your body so you’re laying down on the bed with your head on the pillow. 

“i’ve seen how you look at me. you’re very obvious with your feelings.” he says, and you hear him shuffling around before feeling something press against your pussy, noticing that he’s helping clean his cum up that’s leaking out.

you look down at him and grin. “really? i had no idea.”

he shakes his head, throwing the item he used to help clean you up into a nearby bin. he notices that you’ve kept yourself naked, shrugging and deciding to join you in the bed. as he lays down beside you, he pulls your body close to his and you rest your head against his chest.

you look up at him, “i quite like you. this isn’t something i only wanted as a one time thing. i’d like to be with you again, in so many different ways.”

he presses a finger to your lips, eyes shutting. “while i feel the same, i would prefer it if we both got some rest. i can guarantee that we will hear an earful in the morning.”

you feel your face turn hot in embarrassment as you nod, eyes shutting as you lean against him and decide to calm down. you feel like a puddle, and you’re really hoping that when morning comes there won’t be too much trouble.

--

taglist: @kovieky

(feel free to dm or send an ask to be on the taglist! i'll add anyone who wants to be added :))

#konig x reader #konig #cod smut #konig smut #call of duty smut #call of duty #cod #x reader #female reader #smut

[jadedxhearts]

𝐕𝐢𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐧 𝐋𝐚𝐰 𝐀𝐔 𝐒𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐬

Scenario 4: He gets head for the first time

Originally posted in summer 2023

Please note that this is an old work and isn't representative of my current writing skills!

I’m gonna go with this happening before he and reader have actual p-in-v sex, just to make it so much more… idk, better? Can’t think of words lol.

Anyway, Law would be terrified and yet embarrassingly excited. You promised early in the day to do it that evening, after everyone else had gone to bed. Law hadn’t even asked, either. You simply noticed the way he stared at your lips with lust, the obvious and poorly hidden hard on he had from the idea, giving everything away to you.

Law’s sitting in his desk chair, waiting for you to get out of the shower. When you emerge from the bathroom, you’re only wearing a bra and shorts that don’t hide much, hair still wet from your shower. Law grips the sides of his chair, biting down on his lip as he grows embarrassingly hard.

You approach him, cupping his face in your hands and kissing him, running a hand through his hair soothingly, before you slowly sink down to your knees, placing your hands on Law’s jeans as you now kneel before him.

“Just breathe, baby,” you say, trying to comfort him. “I’ll take care of you, okay?”

Law nods, though he’s hesitant and his ears are turning red. His cock is straining against his jeans, practically begging to be freed. With a sultry giggle, you unzip his jeans and get down to his length, freeing it. “All this for me? So cute,” you lick your lips as you stare at his cock.

He’s painfully hard, his tip hot and red as it’s already leaking pre-cum. You can hear Law panting and you haven’t even properly touched him yet. You place one hand near the top, rubbing your thumb over his tip and smearing the pre-cum around. Your other hand lands near the base of him, holding onto his length firmly. “Such a pretty cock,” you say, the words nearly coming out as a moan.

With that, you lick a stripe up his shaft, and when you reach the top, your tongue darts out to give him little kitten licks, lapping up the pre-cum which oozes out of him. You kiss the tip and wrap your lips around it, swirling your tongue around it as you slowly begin to suck.

Law’s already a mess, and you’ve barely gotten started. He’s watching you intently, face burning red, body tense and hands gripping onto his chair for dear life. You bring a little more of his cock into your mouth, before looking up at him. You moan around his cock, sending vibrations throughout him. Law’s head falls backward, a whimper escaping his lips. You take this as a sign to keep going, and so you sink further down, taking more and more of him into your mouth. He’s basically in your throat now, and you decide to give Law a few moments to get used to it.

He’s shaking, weak moans leaving him as he writhes underneath your touch. He quickly brings a hand to his mouth, trying to cover up the embarrassing noises. You decide to reach up, grabbing his wrist as you guide his hand lower to rest in your hair.

His fingers tangle into your hair, holding on a bit too tightly, but really, that makes it all the more exciting.

Deciding it’s time, you begin to move your head, sliding your lips around his length as you struggle to fit all of him. It’s evident that you can’t, so you take one hand away from his thighs and wrap it around the bottom part of his cock, gently squeezing him.

Choosing to push your limits, you try opening your mouth as wide as possible, pushing your head down as he slides into your throat. Law moans and begs, your name falling from his lips like a prayer. He hesitantly places his other hand onto your head, so you decide to place your free hand onto his, pushing him slightly to encourage him more. If anything, you want him to grab you by the hair and fuck your throat.

“Y/n… I can’t- fuck, feels- good,” he whines, involuntarily bucking his hips upwards, sending his cock further into your throat. You gag, wet noises leaving you as you almost struggle to breathe. But it’s not enough. You want more.

You need to speak, though, so you pull away, his cock falling out of your mouth with a loud ‘pop’ saliva spilling from your lips and dripping from his wet cock.

“Fuck my face, Law,” you beg, resting your ass on your feet to lower yourself even more. “I wanna choke on your cock, baby. Stand up.”

He obeys, and a loud, guttural moan leaves Law’s mouth as he hears your filthy words, but you don’t waste any time, wrapping your lips around his length once again, taking all of him back inside as he now stands before you.

When you’re situated, Law hesitantly thrusts just a little bit, his hands fisted into your hair, tugging on it tightly. He hardly moves within your mouth, though, so you try moaning to encourage him.

The feeling makes him thrust again, but much more harshly this time. Law begins to lose control, a mixture of crying moans, whimpers, and babbles of how good you feel leaving him as he fucks your mouth.

You’re choking on his cock, just like you wanted. Tears start to slip from your eyes, but you don’t mind. Your cunt is throbbing with need, aching as you’re so incredibly turned on from having your mouth used like a toy.

Law’s movements become much more sloppy than before, and through his moans he’s panting, heavy breaths leaving him. You know he’s close, so you start moaning again, the noises creating more good feelings within his cock.

With one particularly loud, whiny cry, Law slams your head down before holding you in place, his body trembling and hips shaking as his hot cum begins to spill into your throat.

When he stops cumming, Law pulls back, his cock sliding out of your mouth. You start to cough, a mixture of cum and spit spilling from your lips and onto your chin, then dripping down to your chest.

“You came so much, baby… was it that good?”

Law nods, though he’s trying to hide his face as he’s clearly embarrassed.

“Don’t be shy, Law,” you giggle, giving his soaked cock one more kiss before standing up and wrapping your arms around him. “How will you get inside my cunt if you’re trying to hide from me?”

Law freezes, his body still tense and hot as you hold him. “I’m kidding, we can wait.”

But Law shocks himself, “n-no. I- I wanna feel your i-insides, y/n. Fuck, that was so good.” He hardly sounds like himself as he speaks, and you giggle in response. Now you’ve got Law craving to be deep inside you.

And you’ll gladly let him in.

#law x reader #law x reader smut #jadedxhearts virgin law au

[aaaaafro]

Girl In The Rain - TWICE - Sana x M! Reader.

Tags: idk lol, fluff i guess? Potential part 2 if requested.

Life Sucks.

Work sucks.

The music sucks

This club sucks.

This drink sucks.

The rain outside sucks.

Everything sucks, as you take in the scent of mixed body odor, alcohol and tobacco. Not caring about a damn for nobody as you try to drink your problems away.

Getting fired from work, simultaneously finding out your girl was cheating on you. Yeah, it doesn't feel right to live. To top it all off, you got soaked on your way to this bar.

You called your last shot in, handing the tip to a decent bartender. The most thoughtful thing he did was to ignore your existence and give you attention when you asked for another shot.

Swimming through the crowd of sweaty and pleasure driven humans, you finally reached the exit. It's still pouring, that just pisses you off more. This night couldn't be better even if you have the tiniest luck.

The exit is relatively peaceful, people going by to rush to the rain trying to get somewhere they should be. At the corner of your eyes glistened a relatively new gradient and a smell that's foreign from where you were moments ago.

It might be from the alcohol or other things but you can swear the world slowed down for a bit. The raindrops felt motionless. You stood there wondering...

"What's a nice place like you doing in a girl like this?"

Fucking smooth as ever.

At least that earned you a small giggle from her. "W-what?" She replied trying to hold back her laughter.

"I'm just wondering what happened to you? Too much good stuff?" Did you just profile this girl as a substance abuser?

"I wish it was that but no..." She answerd

"Oh..." Quick! Think of a way to avoid her getting offended.

"Actually... I was with someone."

"Was, being the key word." She continued.

"Why? What happened?" You said as you sat beside her and noticing how soaked her clothes are as well.

"Apparently, he prefers bitches who sniff face powder like there's no tomorrow." You accidentally chuckled hearing her explanation.

"I know it's not face powder." She scowled.

"I'm Sana." She extends a hand to you.

You gladly took it and introduce yourself as well and before you even know it. You've completely lost yourself with your conversations about how her night went, it was inevitable so you mustered all of your will to tell your own night.

"That must've suck." Was her comment after hearing your story.

"Trust me. It was." You replied with a light tone that contradicts the current topic.

"Was." Sana whispered getting caught up with that particular part of the sentence.

"Yeah, was." You replied before the two of you smiled at each other.

There it was, the 'spark' between two people who had fucked up day. Throwing all your worries away you shoot your shot.

"D-do you wanna like? I don't know... Go somewhere else?"

"I thought you'd never ask." She smiled but it faded within seconds.

You realized what the problem was, seeing how the rain isn't pretty much over, you literally said to yourself fuck it. I need something good this night.

"Our clothes are pretty much ruined anyway." You reason but not enough to make Sana stand up.

"If its because of your make up trust me. I can easily say that you'd be more gorgeous without it." That earned you a love tap on your shoulder followed with her adorable chuckle.

"So, what say you gorgeous?"

"Alright, playboy but you better treat me good tonight. This isn't really a good time to piss me off." She playfully replies before intertwining her hands with yours.

Without any other word said. The two of you just looked at each other as she talked to you with her mind. Both of you stood up and rushed to the pouring rain. Laughing, giggling, even playing with each other. As if nobody else exists.

You finally made it to your motorcycle, Sana stood there huffing, trying to catch her breath from laughing so hard when you almost slipped.

"Nice ride." She complimented.

"Not that practical though. Have you seen me when I entered the bar?" The two of you once more laughed before driving through the heavy rain.

It's slippery, it's not safe, it's distracting how she's hanging onto you so aggressively. Yet the two of you couldn't erase the smile on your faces.

This is it! Your tiniest bit of luck pulling all the stops to make you feel better and what an idiot you'd be to waste it. Turning to full throttle since the highway is quite open you speed off not knowing where this will take you.

But you promise yourself that this night will be better from here on, not just for you but for the girl clutching her hands tightly on your jacket.

"WOOOHHH!!! That was fun! I can't believe we didn't slip! Your tires are so reliable." Sana said as she steps into your apartment.

"I know right, the traction was good." You replied as you hand her the towel.

You worked on drying yourself up but that came as a mistake when you get to your face as you try your best to rub as much water off as possible, you suddenly felt something hit you.

A giggle from Sana gave you a hint of what it is as you quickly discard the towels and followed her to your bedroom.

"Why are you on the bed?" You asked as Sana just hid under your blanket.

"Coz' it's cold." You heard her reply.

"It's because you're wet."

"What if I am?" You can hear Sana's suggestive tone before finally having enough of her silliness you grabbed the blanket and yanked it off.

Oh boy you thought you're ready for this but this is beyond your limitations. Sana bit her pointy finger to act all sexy even though that just looks too cute but you're angry because of the ruined bed due to her soaked body...

And oh she wasn't naked, instead has all of her clothes on with her hair drenched and oh you're mad... Or you are supposed to be but that would ruin your night.

Instead throwing all caution to the wind as you joined her laying down right next to her. Not caring about your sheets.

"This is nice." You whisper to yourself, closing your eyes to enjoy the feeling of tranquility.

"It really is. Thank you by the way." Sana then threw her arms and legs on you bringing you in her embrace.

Before you even know it, you've fallen completely asleep without a care about anything else, not even the weight of the Girl in the Rain.

.

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[BZZZT! BZZZT! BZZZT]

Groaning in headache as you tried your best to hit your alarm, you stood up realizing how relatively light you are. Your eyes adjusted with the light noticing that you're all alone.

Your mind processed everything and you quickly remembered what happened last night. You suddenly felt unease as you looked for your phone and wallet.

Rushing out of your room to see it on the living room table along with a note that reads.

'Last night was such a turn around, I know, I know you're worried that I stole money from you. I probably did. After all you bought me to your place with basically nothing, so I borrowed a couple of bucks because I need to be somewhere and of I know you'll miss me when I'm gone. I saved my phone number on your phone, I guess you already know what that means. (⁠ ⁠˘⁠ ⁠³⁠˘⁠)♡

Ps. Sorry about your bed.

Ppss. I stole your jacket I won't give it back.'

-girl in the rain.

You couldn't help but smile before reaching for your phone. You got greeted by a familiar face and that made your day better as the sun peeks through the window with the morning breeze coupled with last night's rain you stretched your arms out and get ready for the day.

An:

This might have a part 2 if y'all want it. (⁠~⁠￣⁠³⁠￣⁠)⁠~ Enjoy

#twice #twice sana #twice fanfic #male reader #twice x reader

[fonulyn]

20 Questions for Fic Authors

thanks for the tag @thebrandywine 💖

answers under the cut.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

268 works.

2. What is your AO3 wordcount?

1,256,253 words.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

RE. and still have the urge to write Gears but lol if you thought nivannedy was a rare pair...

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

nobody's perfect (TOG, pretty gen)

now drunk on lust I drown in you (forever within I'm lost in you) (RE, Chreon)

and who's to find the way right through you (RE, Chreon)

scattered fragments of time (that's all we are) (RE, Chreon)

how to accidentally get adopted - a guide by Piers Nivans (RE, Piers-centric, also background Chreon)

5. Do you respond to comments?

always! i know i missed a couple, sometimes i take ages, but i do always try to respond bc i love and cherish nice comments.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

the bad endings on three words to last forever. i still like the angstiest one the most :'D

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

lmao like everything else idk i want them happy. i've written loads of fluff idk how to quantify which is the happiest.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

only ever got a few nasty comments thankfully, so no, not really.

9. Do you write smut? If so, which kind?

yeppp. idk what does 'which kind' mean? anything that feels inspiring lol.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest crossover you’ve ever written?

not really. i did start a few back in the day but i didn't really finish them. i am not really into crossovers tbh i don't even read them 99% of the time.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

yeah. someone was selling it on amazon pffth.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

a few. apparently five on ao3 lol but i think there was one or two back in the lj days too. might be wrong tho :'D

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

lol loads. at one point in life like... fifteen years ago, most things i wrote were co-written with a friend. and i've done it a couple of times after that too. i really like co-op stuff tbh but haven't found people to collab with lately.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

right now i would sell my soul for nivannedy. might already have.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

ehhhh at this moment i doubt i'll ever finish anything. maybe the lifeguard au? i was red-hot for the idea at first but then it kinda... fizzled out. kept changing. got ruined by pushy ppl lol. but maybe i'll get back to it one day bc i would love a nivannedy summer romance tbh.

16. What are your writing strengths?

uhm. characterization. dialogue. emotional shit? idk i think i do best when i have intimate moments with two people. tiny everyday moments and mundane shit. like that. if i get going writing sometimes flows super well and i think i can get consistently readable stuff done in one go. but that'd require getting going lol.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

action. i suck at action. i also suck at it in the way that i can't actually make myself start writing. i got way too co-dependent when i still had people excitedly participating in the process and now i sit here sad doing nothing :'D but anyway. writing action and having some self-discipline lol.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

depends very heavily on the context. in general i do think it should be all in one language for readability but there are exceptions. i've done it too lol but it was only like a line or two in finnish :'D

19. First fandom you wrote for?

diru, twenty years ago lmao, it's like a different lifetime. i only learned of the existence of fanfic at the ripe old age of nineteen lol but yeah it's still been so long now.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

asdjfngkn i can not choose between all of my children c'mon. uhm. am just gonna say the self-indulgent series bc it truly was so important to me for so long and i'm still devastated it ended. sigh. now i made myself sad again :'D

#meme thingy #me and my fics

[tau1tvec]

hey, maybe you have some advice..but how do you make your gameplay pictures so beautiful? The colours, your sims faces don't look awkward even if they aren't posed, the interior/setting always matches the vibe. Your game looks so so beautiful! Every time I'm playing for fun and take screenshots I feel good. But then I see all those posts on my dash and begin to feel bad about my own.. I want to make my game look magical too. You inspire me to play the game again, every one of your posts is so magical to me and also captures the beauty of gameplay itself. Sorry if this is too much/confusing

Okay, I’m gonna use this ask as an opportunity to be real with you, and anyone else who’s reading who also needs to hear this.

I know it’s common for everyone who’s asked this to be like, “oh no nonny, don’t do that, don’t compare your stuff to other ppl’s stuff, you’re fine the way you are,” and that’s all well meaning and sweet, but sadly this is the real world and society sucks. ✨

Despite how good it is to hear that what and how you do things shouldn’t matter, it doesn’t change the fact that social media doesn’t really care about that, and isn’t built around that mindset. In general, not comparing yourself or your work to others is incredibly difficult to do. Even I do it occasionally, impenetrable self-esteem isn’t a thing, it’s something that’s fragile and easily broken, sometimes without our ever even knowing until it’s too late. So I realized the best way to look at it, is to remove some of the negativity from it.

Controversial take, as a creative, comparing your work to others doesn’t always have to be a downer experience… it can be good, and enlightening even. The great thing about consuming media is that it can do so much for us, the appreciator, like bring us joy, bring us sadness, start a conversation, or stir inspiration, that last bit especially.

Lean into those inspirations, and no I don’t just mean other sims content. Rewatch your favorite old movies, replay your favorite old games, start a Pinterest board, go through some old family photos, create a Spotify playlist that transports you somewhere you’d rather be. Examine them, study them, focus on the colors, the lighting, the textures, there’s formulas in all kinds of media, even your mom’s old Polaroids, aim to create your own.

Learning is a never-ending journey. You can never learn enough about anything. There are so many tutorials on YouTube, and hell, even on here, if you feel like you’ve got somewhere you can improve, don’t be ashamed to do so, and change is good, bc the great thing about change is that you can do it again, and again, and that’s totally okay. Don’t be set in your ways when it comes to content creativity, it’s too beautiful a hobby for there to be any one way to be.

I think the one reason why I love Simblr so much over all other sims communities, is bc everyone here does things their own way, and everyone ( at least I hope ) appreciates each other for that. This adds variety to my dash, and makes it all the more enjoyable to look at. My game looks the way it does bc that’s how I see it in my head. I’m heavily influenced by Hayao Miyazaki, Guillermo del Torro, and old 90’s movies. I lean into the bright colors, I lean into the ideal big kitchen, I lean into the excessive neon lights, and I lean into the cringe dialogue, bc that’s what brings me joy, and that’s what brings me nostalgia.

The Sims itself brings me joy and nostalgia too, and that’s why first and foremost I enjoy playing it, lol, everything else… having a space online to share it with others who also enjoy playing it is just an added bonus.

Now as for the funky faces, there are mods out there that minimize the awkward grin, whether they still work idk tho.

You can also try putting a little more space between the bottom of your sim’s nose and their top lip, it might look weird in CAS, but this will help avoid a lot of the wonkiness from the over-exaggerated smiles in-game.

Learning to love sims for all their quirks, bad animations, and goofiness is also a good tip. 😆

#asks #anon #sorry this is long #help

[yaoxsblog]

you cant just post horny bos headcanon without making another post for da queen herze

Anon you are so right I’m in the corner of your room tonigh watching you sleep

CW for sexual content obv

Bisexual and biromantic, probably has no preference? But leans more towards men

Pillow princess (obv)

Dominant, rarely submissive but it does happen

PEGS ENIS!! *the crowd goes wild*

Loves seeing her partner squeal in pleasure under her, also possibly into cnc? That one im still debating on

Into choking, but not being choked

Besides that probably into some forms of bdsm - tying up her partner, slapping/whipping them. Probably nothing more than that when she’s dominating someone

When she’s being dominated you either go hard or go home. Throw her against the wall and fuck her guts!!!!!

Isn’t into marking, but feels satisfied if her partner bruises afterwards

Same with this - not really a turn on, just something she does - digs her nails into their skin :333

ABSOLUTELY THE LOUDEST BITCH EVER will not hesitate to moan, gasp and whimper at everything. You could not do it in public with her

Probably doesn’t shave, we love a natural queen

Hip dips!!!! I will not elaborate k yourself if you dissagree /j

Probably has sucked dick at least once in her life but either 1. Didn’t like it or 2. Bit off someone’s dick

Not into gunplay but absolutely gets turned on by weapons idk

B cups, thats all she’s getting

Fav position is cowgirl obv what else Did you expect

Likes eye contact, esp when getting topped, but usually gets lost in her own pleasure anyways and closes her eyes

I think this message by @bruzofficial is also one of my fav headcanons so im putting it here as an ending

Bye lol

#yugotalia #hetalia #aph herzegovina #bosherze #aph bosnia #balkantalia #yaox realness #yaox sexcanons

[moefling]

And finally Any Way The Wind Blows reread...

I really dislike Matali. Like of the the Adults who should have seen The Mages abuse, she is on the top and she is throwing it back in Penny's face!?? (f*ck Matali Bunce)

*sobbing* but also I love angst so also 😈

Dev is a Pitch?!? Idk why but I thought he was a Grimm (tho I did read the fanfic rebel rebel just b4 starting my reread so maybe that's my confusion)

How long is Simon's tail? I'm pretty sure that based on how it's described to twist around things it's gotta be like the same length Simon is tall (5 foot whatever)...

"He already gave me a sword, but I'm not magickal enough to call it." (page 6) this is so sad, I remember seeing a tweet from Rainbow saying the Sword of Mages was still in him he just couldn't call it and just that makes me want to cry for Simon

i love that Fiona continues to use the numpty joke with Baz because that is such a real family thing to do (page 14)

Premal and Simon should have a talk... they both have very complicated feelings about the Mage (i mean Simon wins but)

Poor Penny. she used to solve all of Simons problems and now she can't so she feels useless

"I'm ready to let go - to be me again. The me I thought I was before the Mage ever showed up." (page 37)

"I hate the sight of him. All I see is what I've lost- who I was. His match." (page 62) this f*cked me up because its a call back to CO when Baz says he loves that Simon is screwed up because "they match" and that quotes is VERY popular...

"I know I'll never love anyone like I love Baz. I know he's the love of my life. Of all my lives" "This was my life to find love. The truest love. The biggest. Buti it isn't my life to have it." "I'm too... broken. I don't know how to be close to people." (page 65)

we need for Fiona moments. the fact that she is marrying a vampire but can't ask Baz if he needs to feed? (page 82)

lol Simon showing up unannounced again and commenting on Baz's clothes (page 87)

Simon cuts so deep but i love it because it's real and he is telling everything so Baz knows

"I didn't get to keep anything... What did I get to keep, Baz?" (page 91) i think this hurts even more because he still thinks he's removing his wings and tail. to literally at this moment he doesn't think he got to keep anything: his magic, his mentor, his friends, his purpose in life, the safety that came with knowing what comes next

when Simon tells Baz he loves him to me the tone from Baz questioning it was even sadder because he wasn't just questioning Simon saying it but (to me) it seemed like a question that anyone would tell Baz that

headcanon that not only was Simon deprived of a magical childhood he also didn't have a normal one so he doesn't know things like Disney movies (or really used a cell phone)

i love that Baz switches between Simon and Snow regularly even in his own thoughts

gosh this book has the snowbaz bants that i've been looking for. referencing when they were enemies but now in a funny/ cute way

"'Christ, Baz, I never thought I was straight. I never thought about it at all.'" (page 127)

""I met him the usual way.' 'You chased him off the road?'" (page 167)

i love that there isn't really any comparisons between the Salisbury's and Simon until the end. it's not shoving it in your face if you can't remember the first book (no bronze hair like Simon or Ruth eats like Simon - there is a moment where it is mentioned that Jamie sucked at reading and talking and Simon thinks same but it is Simon thinking it not a comparison someone else is thinking)

is the light touch over simulation or has Simon just never been touched gently before so he doesn't understand it...

""I can touch you less gently, but I won't love you less kindly.'" (page 222)

when Ruth gives the glasses to Simon i remember on my first read i though that was how Simon was going to get his magic back...

i'm 80% sure Lady Ruth was ready to adopt Simon before she know he was Lucy's son and i'm 85% sure she would be very fine with them using the glasses for.... other purposes

the Demon turning to Penny after and basically winking as saying call me...

"'..it was children who brought down the Mage!'" (page 399) i think we need to talk about this more. the fact that Fiona is ok with it but all the Kids have BIG trauma about it all (and f*ck Matali again for victims blaming the Kids)

Simon using a pet name for Baz 😍😍

"'And you don't have to wear a jacket in the middle of June. Do you know how jealous I am?'" (page 407)

(something half baked about chosen ones being warm to the touch)

Baz wearing this boyfriends ex girlfriends sweatshirt

a note that Simon couldn't feel magic at all after Smith zapped him

so Smith's spell.... does it imply that you can waste magic? if you only have so much? or...

so what is Simon.... is he sorta a dragon?

Notes for Snow for Christmas

i love that this exists so we can see happy snowbaz without them doing chosen one shit

i love and hate that Baz tells Simon he is coming back after a fight (page 222)

i've decided that they should tell Lady Ruth about Baz's vamp thing because she would probably blink and then offer to keep blood in the fridge for when he visits. and she wouldn't tiptoe around it either

i like that Simon takes some responsibility to not drink because he kinda has a problem with it

Question... did Baz know he was a vampire before his teeth came in..? cuz knowing his family idk if they would have told him...

do Baz's siblings know he is a vampire? Simon asks but it isn't really answered...

#snowbaz #baz grimm pitch #simon snow #simon snow trilogy #any way the wind blows

[astorytotellyourfriends]

twenty questions for fanfic writers

i was going through my likes and realized @deliriumsdelight7 tagged me over a month ago MY BAD SORRY LOVE U

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

255 😅

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

3,267,300 😅😅

3. What fandoms do you write for?

currently only for stranger things, but in the past i've written for julie and the phantoms, 1d, shadowhunters, young royals, and 911.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

can't help falling in love with you

keep me up all night

tell me how to feel about you now

if we don't leave this town (we might never make it out)

underneath (some calm exterior)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i do! i like doing it :)

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

ohhh that's definitely always have & always will. a close second is the new one before i bury you lol

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

literally any of my other fics hahahaha i love a happy ending!!!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not so much on the fic itself but hate as part of larger fandom issues bc people are mean to total strangers on the internet for no fuckin reason

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

all the kinds, probably. i'm sure there's a few kinks i haven't and will never write but i'm open to most things. (and hilariously in connection to the previous question, my writing smut is one of the reasons i got hate in my last fandom)

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

i mean, not really unless you count AUs as being crossovers lol. i once had an idea for a teen wolf/1d crossover but it never got off the ground.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

yes and it SUCKED. fuck that douchebag and fuck wattpad.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

i've had a couple people ask over the years but i've said no 😅 idk what it is but i just feel weird about it

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

yes! once with @cunnninghams and i've got a few in the works with @cyraclove 🥰

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

ughhhhhh don't do this to me i can't answer!

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

lol unfortunately i think i roll til i change my luck might wither away into nothingness before i ever finish it

16. What are your writing strengths?

i like to think that i'm good at writing realistic dialogue and maybe describing scenes like they're in a movie bc that's how i see everything i write in my head.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

brevity.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

the few times i've done it i've gone to someone who's fluent to double-check my dialogue bc i don't wanna be That Person

19. First fandom you wrote for?

lololololol simple plan back in the days of bandom and no u cannot find that fic anywhere thank u

20. Favorite fic you've written?

oof another tough question, but off the top of my head i'd say the hellcheer mechanic au. lots of good memories writing that one 💛

tagging @magicalrocketships, @dearmrsawyer, @alexenglish, @cyraclove, @medusasfinalgirl, @hangon-silvergirl, @a-strange-inkling, and anybody else who hasn't been tagged already and wants to do it!

#about my fic

[iced-coffeebean]

Fic Writer (of doom) Interview :)

Thank you for the tagged my beloved Stars (aka @starsmadeinheaven)

How many works do you have on AO3?

WOW UH

I apparently have 31 works on AO3. Christ, that's a lot.

21 of them are Yu-Gi-Oh! GX

4 are Original Works

3 of them of Hetalia

2 are Yu-Gi-Oh 5d's

And 1 is Yu-Gi-Oh! DM

What’s your total AO3 word count?

72,638 words apparently. Slay. I didn't think I'd have a lot of words tbh.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Oh god, I wonder.

1. Everything Stays (Hetalia GerItaPan Oneshot)

2. Sakura Petals Blossom But Love Blossoms Faster (Hetalia AmeriPan oneshot)

3. You Know I Love You Right? (Yu-Gi-Oh! DM Wishshipping Oneshot)

4. My Remedy (Hetalia ItaPan oneshot)

5. This Is Home (Yu-Gi-Oh! 5d's fic collab with my brother)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to but sometimes it feels like they don't need me to respond to them if that makes sense?? Sometimes it's just a statement more than a comment of appreciation if that makes sense???

So yeah, it depends.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I don't really know tbh. I have a lot of unfinished YGO fics that in theory, are supposed to have lots of angst and possibly angsty endings but I never finished those but they don't really count ig??

I haven't really written angst but maybe Cross My Heart In Hopes To Die

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Probably almost all of them have neutral/happy endings.

Everything Stays and My Remedy

Do you write crossovers?

I don't think I've written any currently unless it's Yu-Gi-Oh! related since you can smack some of the shows together. If it isn't YGO shows being smacked together, it probably won't exist. Maybe a series AU for another series but them meeting that series' characters?

No </3

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I've gotten some hate on my Anikishipping fics but tbh idc anymore. I'll write whatever makes me happy and if people have a problem with that, they can suck my dick. Like idk what else to say.

If you don't like it, go write something else then.

Before going onto AO3, I was on Wattpad and we ALL know how THAT must have gone.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I write smut but I rarely ever post it and if I do, it's anon LMAO.

I just feel like it's too awkward and I'm just scared people are gonna judge me LOL.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I wouldn't know and I SURE hope not.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nah. I'm not that famous yet.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

This Is Home is a fic I'm writing with my brother. It's kind of on a hiatus cause of life and cause of the YGO fandom break we're both taking. We'll talk it out and see if we can continue it.

I'm actually gonna hopefully work on new micronation related works with other lads so I'm SUPER excited for that!!!

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Hetalia: GerItaPan and MolSeb.

DM: Wishshipping

GX: Anikishipping

5D'S: Toolshipping

Zexal: Aztecshipping

Arc-V: Candyshipping

Vrains: Respectfulshipping

Sevens: Moonlightroadshipping

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I had a Spamano/ItaPan/MolSeb werewolf fic that I was gonna do but I gave the fic away to a moot to write instead since I lost interest in it and didn't want to write anymore.

What are your writing strengths?

Tbh, I don't know. Probably internal dialogue and emotions. I like writing arguments and deep conversations cause it's so fun playing around with people's emotions <33

What are your writing weaknesses?

DESCRIPTIONS AND USING FANCY WORDS.

I don't wanna sound repetitive with words but god, I need to work on having a bigger vocabulary.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I try to use it in fics considering I'm in the Hetalia fandom but I do try to add translations at the bottom/on the notes if it's something that most people wouldn't know by now or more complicated items. I try to not use it cause I don't want to be that person with awful Google Translate or sucky translation app language errors but yk, sometimes duty calls.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Probably Yu-Gi-Oh! Zexal or Yu-Gi-Oh! Arc-V if I'm being honest. I don't remember y'all. It's been a SECOND.

What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

I wanna write Yu-Gi-Oh! Vrains content but the show is so SLOW and BORING for me but I really LOVE Spectre and I would love to maybe write some Respectfulshipping.

I'd also love to write some Gakuto fics for Sevens cause they did his character SO WRONG it's makes me SO MAD.

For Hetalia, I'm not really sure tbh.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

For YGO, maybe Imaginary Friend (Yu-Gi-Oh! GX Anikishipping oneshot)

For Hetalia, it's definitely gotta be My Remedy

I tag these lads (you don't have to do them if you don't want to)

@stardust-revolver @starfishes-and-watercolors @apalonespinifera

This concludes my ask <3

(I'm going to be honest, most of the fics I mentioned here I kind of hate now but I left to see any possible growth or progress when I work on new stuff. I only really like my more recent content but we won't go into that <3)

#iced_coffeearts #coffee rambles #coffee rambles about stuff

[nekropsii]

Hi just wanted to say that I really like the way you think about Damara.

Like I really like her, but I kinda of hate her character because of the way Hussie handles her.

There is also the japonese/Asian stereotype thing, I don't mind Damara being like Japonese or whatever, In fact I kinda of like it?(Im probably bias cause Im japonese, but still) but the way that it was written makes it look so insulting and kinda of fetishy an uh its just gross...

Also I have a thing againt her desing, its just-

Idk how to explain it, it just tickles me the wrong way. I guess it has to do with the fact that her clothes look far more chinese than japonese and the fact that she has those sticks coming out of her hair and it looks like chopsticks(thats not a thing people please stop drawing japones people with that, like draw her with an kushi or a kogai or like something..)

Idk man it just makes me so sad and grossed out…

So uh, thank you for the refreshing takes on Damara?

Hey, I’m glad you like my thoughts on Damara! It means a lot, really! She, like all of the Alpha Trolls, has fantastic potential, though it was mostly squandered by them being written by… Well, Hussie. Genuinely, I think if she wasn’t written with such heavy-handed Fetishism and Misogyny, she would have honestly been one of the best characters in that specific cast! Alas, we can’t all have nice things, I suppose…

Her design always struck me the wrong way, too. You can tell she was designed without any due respect or sensitivity in mind- Hussie wasn’t designing her with “Japanese Woman” in mind, he was designing her with “Generic Eastern Asian Woman” in mind. She’s a stereotype in aesthetic, basically, and it’s written plainly and shamelessly across the entirety of her character design.

[DISCLAIMER: Take my discussion of this with a few grains of salt- I am a Westerner, and while I know a thing or two about some Chinese and Japanese history, I am not speaking from personal experience, nor am I an expert. I am guaranteed to get something wrong- these are just the thoughts I have on the matter from my own limited perspective. Feel free to correct anything I get wrong. Thank you.]

Hussie seemed to have been going for a “Pseudo-Traditional Oriental” Aesthetic for her, but it kind of just sucks, lol. Like, Racist execution aside, it’s incredibly plain, and nothing about it truly makes sense! Her shirt almost reads as Hussie halfheartedly making an attempt at drawing a Qipao, which could have been a very interesting display of her being a Time Player, considering those are essentially Flapper Dresses that are constantly evolving over time but… That doesn’t seem intentional. I am not about to give Hussie undue credit. Considering everything else about Damara, they probably just drew the most “Generic Eastern Asian” outfit they could think of and called it a day. It doesn’t even fold over the body- the neckline and the stripe going down the body aren’t folds, they kind of just look… Printed on. Even with all this aside, the Qipao is something that belongs more to Chinese culture than it does Japanese culture.

The hair hurts me in its level of stereotypicality, but it seems like a natural progression of whatever was going on with Aradia’s hair. I just wish the bastard didn’t complete the look with the Totally-Not-Chopsticks. Literally any other style of Kanzashi would have worked. Hell, it could’ve even been one hairpin that just splits off into prongs at the top to resemble the symbol for Aries, but… Nah, gotta have that chopsticks look! Painful, painful thing.

#for sov we’re definitely gunning for a more… cyberpunk style for her. very ghost in the shell. #japan’s cyberpunk is always gorgeous and cyberpunk is a pretty important genre for sovereignstuck as a whole #so… win/win! #homestuck #homestuck meta #alpha trolls #beforan trolls #dancestors #damara megido #damara.pdf #nekro.pdf #nekro.sms

[swaggypsyduck]

Yall I’m new to stanning football. I came here straight from the world cup and I’m not gonna lie this shit is beating my ass. Is it always in the mud like this? I chose psg because that seems like the best option because they got messi, neymar, and mbappe who are literally the three players that caught my attention during the tournament! Yall I really thought this was going to be fun. 😭 What’s going on? Why does everything feel so confused and chaotic (not in a good energetic way, more like headless chicken running kind of way) but also weirdly sluggish and slow? Yall I don’t understandddddddd. It’s like the team has four different personalities all at once? It’s so… unpleasing to watch yall it was not like this during the world cup. 😭

I hope they get better. But I’ve been reading the psg girlies on tumble and … it seems like nobody has hope it’s going to get better? I mean surely it will? Right? I feel like everybody has given up on the season and I’m scared. 😭 I hope Kylian feels better soon. I was thinking maybe we can do trades with other teams but apparently business hours is already closed and will next open in the summer? The fuck? But we dont got anyone? And almost everyone is dropping like flies? What happens if the big guy on the fishnet gets a flue or just gets sick in general? We just dont get anyone?

Also the coach looks like he should be in a martin scorsese film with robert de niro and joe pesci. The fuck is he doing on the pitch tho?

We need to bounce back QUICK! We need positive vibes! Energy! We need God to be honest but I feel like I’ve spent all my credit with him praying for Messi to win the world cup. My account with God is all maxed out. Yall. I cant sleep until I figure this shit out. Somebody do something!

Do we have a secret weapon? Like what is the plan here? What is plan b? Oh my goddddd. This parasocial relationship is with these players really do beating my ass. I’m out here worried for them!

hi anon! wow this is a doozy. ill try to break down my response but idk if it'll do ur rant justice LOL

1) Welcome newcomer! as u may have seen in the world cup, if there's one thing someone should tell u before u enter the football world is that ABSOLUTELY NOTHING is guaranteed. you could have the strongest defense, the best goalie, gamemaster midfielders, and strikers w amazing finishes and you'll still lose to an underdog team who has better teamwork and chemistry. or just one player decides "uk what? imma earn my paycheck today" and demolishes the other team.

2) psg is a joke. ill tell u right now. lose any and all expectations. we clown on them bc even if they played shit before but at least they were winning. now they're playing shit and LOSING! and thats the problem we have. the 4 personalities at once thing is absolutely correct. you have 3 well seasoned forwards who are used to being the "it" strikers of their team. on top of that we have NO MIDFIELD AND A SHIT MANAGER WHO CANT GET A TACTIC OUT OF HIS ASS EVEN IF I SHOVED IT IN THERE MYSELF!!!... sorry i lost it a bit there lol.

3) as yes transfer window closing. see that's also Galtier and that fuckin toad incharge of players who DIDN'T MAKE A TRANSFER UNTIL LAST MINUTE AND LET CHELSEA FUCK THEM OVER. and sorry to burst ur bubble but there's a chance key players might leave/retire by that summer so lets hope they promise them to bring in an actual proper midfield by then.

4) So another thing to consider if one of the reasons u chose psg was for messi... i wouldnt. This isn't his club. this is his retirement club. ramos too actually. they've finished their careers. they actually have absolutely nothing to lose LOL. messi's heart will always be in barcelona. as in he literally knows nothing else except barça

5) injuries suck. but they are a part of the game. if u play any contact sport u know the feeling. even non-contcact sports there r still big injuries. everyone is hoping kylian gets better soon. he needs all the rest he can get 🤲🏼.

6) Our secret weapon? BHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! prayers i guess. nah im kidding. but there really isn't any secret weapon unless u count galtier deciding to pick up a tactic book? or leaving and getting replaced by pep or zidane. to use ur weapon analogy we have a dented shield that still works (defense) and a bunch of bullets (forwards) but no gun (midfield) to load them.

7) ik u were joking about that last part but the parasocial relationship?? do ur absolute best to minimize it. like as someone who's been watching the beautiful game since i was a kid its okay and fun to joke about it and worry/send love to ur faves but u have to remember: those are grown ass men getting payed hundreds of millions to kick a ball around while those in their cities that pay to watch them are in heating/housing crisis. so when we eat the rich ill be cutting them up w tears uk?

hope this helped LOL.

#ask #wow what a long one #sorry yall

[nextstopparis]

Wait I'm curious, since Merlance is superior to Mercelot what about merwaincelot or other ship names with Lancelot? Or is it only the Mercelot vs Merlance?

ok ok ok. this is the most important ask ive gotten in my life btw. here are my opinions (which are Absolute Fact but whatever) on all lance ship names (if i hve forgotten a ship. tough. but also lemme know so i will give u my Opinion bc obviously its very important):

merlin/lancelot = merlance (obviously x283992838383. although a strong case can be made for merlot BUT but but but it will only ever come in second place to merlance SORRY but its undeniable fact. mercelot is at the last level of hell)

arthur/lancelot = arlance (obviously x283992838384. arcelot just sounds like arse-a-lot. so. although👀👀—no no. no. arlance. i actually really like arlance as a ship name idk why. it makes Sense to me u know. anyway. arlance is by far the superior lancelot shipname)

gwen/lancelot = gwencelot (but only bc i cant think of an alternative. i was EXTREMELY tempted to say ‘glance’ tho just fyi)

gwaine/lance = gwaincelot (see reason above. logically ik that they cant BOTH be ‘glance’ so thats another point Not in glance’s favour but. whatever. its still COOL)

elyan/lancelot = its just too CLOSE for me to not say elyancelot. what else could it even be. elylance? elyance? ive no clue .

percival/lancelot = perlance? percelot just sounds like purse-a-lot😫

leon/lancelot = leonce . obviously. i dont even need to explain this one

merlin/gwaine/lancelot = i mean. i underSTAND merwaincelot bc mer- and -celot arent attached so ig that ship name works (it sort of makes me think of “wince a lot” so im a bit eh but whatever. the only other thing i could think of was suggesting that we should also consider ‘merlaine’ bc it sounds pretty to me but technically that could just be an alternative name for merwaine so. idk. IT CAN STILL WORK THOUGH. if not we should consider merlaine as the new merwaine ship name bc i like it better personally bUT I DIGRESS) (heres how merlaine can still win—)

merlin/arthur/lancelot = anything i think of for them sounds stupid sorry BUT merthelot sounds a bit like mirth-a-lot like a lot of mirth which is a lil cute imo. in my top three of trios tho so who cares abt every ship name for them sucking tbh

gwen/arthur/lancelot = again, i must concede arwencelot bc everything else to me sounds bad (but maybe if you dont listen TOO closely arlanevere can sound sort of pretty. i just really like the name guinevere and think the last bit is very pretty and should be incorporated in as many things as possible however that means that -evere completely carries that ship name for me so. maybe not that one? still sounds a lil pretty. enough to not completelh ignore. the men continue to give nothing. this unfortunately brings to light the problem that -evere is too pretty for a lot of things and they dont exactly live up so i cant really use many ship names with it at the end but anYWAY AGAIN I DIGRESS)

merlin/gwen/lancelot = the three i can think of are: 1) merwencelot (obviously) 2) merlancevere and 3) gwencelin (which sounds like gwendolyn lol) um. i might have to go with option 1 (again, mer- and -celot arent attached so i dont have anything AGAINST it ig also merlancevere just makes me think of severe which. eh. idk. actually u know what after sitting with it for a minute its sort of grown on me. still id PROBABLY go with merwencelot if forced to on pain of err whatever threatening tactic that would work on me BUT. merlancevere is a CLOSE second now. if i wait a few more mins maybe it’ll even usurp merwencelot’s place! stay tuned for update. i think i just dont like -lot at the end of things bc the t makes itso like. idk. ANYWAY)

merlin/gwen/arthur/lancelot = i have no fucking clue. i guess merwenthurlot ??? i cant think of anything that sounds better (ehehehe imagine merwenthurance sksnsksnkssk makes me think of hinderance)

merlin/arthur/gwaine/lancelot = honestly ive given up at this point with four names. tbh mostly idc. chances are im too busy being confused over all the chaos to even sit down and consider/care abt the ot4 names anyway. its probably merwainthurlot or merwainethurance or sumn. id go with merwainthurance bc it reminds me of maintenance which is apt bc theyd 200% be EXTREMELY high maintenance<3

idk ifeel like im not Creative enough for ship names,, like the name gwart hadnt even occurred to me until an anon brought it up but . as of right now wirh my current knowledge here is where i stand on ship names (dont even get me started on any ship name not exclusive to lance)

#im so sorry u had to read all this<3 #bbc merlin #what do i tag this #lancelot #lancelot x everyone ig IDK #ask

[arttheclown]

paragraphs of bad mental health stuff under the cut don’t mind me 💀

i love finishing school and realizing i truly need to begin adulthood and focusing on things like building a writing CV and getting my driver’s license and most importantly breaking away from my severely controlling & emotionally abusive mother and then just. every bad fucking thing from the last 10 years hitting me in the face lol. my father’s deterioration and death and a really violent incident with him i don’t like to talk about. a lifetime of my mother micromanaging nearly everything i do, abusing me, gaslighting me, and refusing to let me grow up to this day. a string of abusive and manipulative codependent friendships that ended in ugly and sometimes public falling-outs. my grandpa dying in march and my grandma having to live on her own now. having to see my sister go through a lot of the same shit that i have and desperately hoping she can be helped in time so she’s not 2 years away from being 30 and just falling the fuck apart lol

i’ve spent so many years saying i’m fine and i’ll get over it and move through it but everything has gone still right now. i can’t run anymore. i physically cannot lie and downplay things and say i’m fine anymore. i am unable. i have become a people-pleaser to the point where doing things purely for myself — sometimes knowing i’m the one who gets more out of it than anyone else — is a foreign concept to me. i cannot do things anymore if i feel i’m mostly doing them to just please someone else because then i start panicking & i know that’s progress but god!!! it feels like shit!!! these growing pains hurt so bad!!! and then i start agonizing over potentially disappointing people and uugghuhh i don’t like it. i don’t like it at all.

i want to do things but everything feels so fucking terrifying right now. realizing the extent that i’ve been traumatized is miserable and i don’t even like admitting it because then i feel like i’m lying or trying to get attention. i don’t know if i have fucking ptsd because that’s such a severe disorder but at the very least i’m going through a period where even little things petrify me & sometimes just getting through a day feels like an accomplishment. i love food and i’ve been agonizing over making sure i’m nourished properly on top of dealing with selective eating that i’m almost positive is because of my autism. i am a small person — if i lose any more weight i will get sick and that frightens me. and i’m painfully aware that the reason this is probably happening in the first place is because i am so used to worrying about SOMETHING that my mind can’t accept peace and is now inventing issues and it sucks. this isn’t a new issue for me but it sucks. it feels like hypervigilance or something. idk.

i kept hoping that maybe i would bounce back on my own like i’ve done in the past and maybe i can but i don’t know if i’m able to waiting and how many pep talks i can keep giving myself, nor do i want to constantly rely on others for comfort. i’m fortunate enough that i live in a part of the world where i don’t have to pay for doctor’s appointments so i might just go and see if mine can get me some help because 🥴 i don’t know how many bad weeks i am capable of having right now! i’m gonna be honest!

it’s going to suck likely paying for therapy. it’s going to suck potentially finding a new therapist if it turns out i’m uncomfortable with the one i’ve had since childhood because don’t get me wrong he’s a nice man but i don’t know if he even recognizes i’m autistic on top of other things lol. i really do not want to end up on anxiety medication or antidepressants and want to believe self-medicating with weed is enough but i don’t know anymore.

i just needed to write these feelings out somewhere. i can’t silently carry them with me anymore. they’re too heavy. i hope things get even a little easier soon.

#negative /

[oatmealcrisp-freak]

hey, you've talked somewhat about your dealings with chronic pain and i was just wondering what are some ways that you make it better?? idk if that makes sense but just ways to cope with the pain. there are a lot of different types of chronic pain but just anything that helps you. i want to write and type so bad but my hands hurt lol, any advice?

Hi nonny I'm sorry to hear you're having a hard time with your hands right now, and balancing that with the need to be creative is a struggle i relate to a lot ><

i know you asked after my experiences specifically but i do want to emphasize they are as such for a reason, so the context is important to keep in mind. please be careful of what you try!! i'm not a doctor, and if you can, i do think its important that you see one who can give you help thats bespoke to your condition.

but i do think theres some things that are general enough that i can offer. off the top of my head, i also really wanna emphasize trying out voice to text programs to see if they work for you!!!

im not gonna put this under a cut btw no need to make you click anything extra

first - youre probably not gonna like it very much but you need to rest your hands.

pain is our bodies way of telling us to stop, and its important that we listen to that information and respect it to keep us from doing more harm to ourselves! be patient. pushing it too soon means its gonna take longer to get back into creating. it sucks, i know, but its the sad truth.

this means staying away from holding things, especially heavier things like a phone, big cups, handling heavy groceries, etc. mobile phones are very important to stay from as much as possible, not just because they can be heavy, but the way we hold them is ususally not good for our hands, wrists, elbows, or necks anyway.

if you do need to handle your mobile phone, place it on a surface. hold it yourself as little as possible!

if your mobile phone or mobile device is all you have, it might be worth investing in holders, external keyboards, and wireless mice, if you think this is long term for you. the reason i invested in a computer is 100% for this reason. i just cant do phones very well anymore.

this can also mean trying to avoid things that require fine motor control like twist off caps, writing with a pen, doing up buttons, tying shoe laces, etc. i also try to stay away from skinny objects that require me to flex my hand tighter is harder on me also. if you trusy someone enough, even ask someone else to brush your hair for you.

when my hands are bad, i switch to using my cutlery in a baby grip instead of the way i was taught for 'manners'. Holding my fingers that way, especially while holding an object, strains my ligaments, joints, etc.

if you have problems with your hands a lot, buying thick handled cutlery like this kiddo is holding wouldn't be a bad idea! thats one thats on my to do list. theres lots of equipment out there thats made for troubled hands, its definitely worth looking into. hell, even straws for drinking are mucho valuable! same with paper plates and plastic cutlery that are lighter. make things easy for yourself wherever you can if you can.

second - ergonomics.

ergonomics are SO IMPORTANT. again, how we hold our hands can contribute a lot to injury and reinjury, which means its important to be mindful of that.

a lot of this is gonna be computer centric but i'd still suggest at least reading the links if you dont have one.

my biggest problem area is technically my wrists, so i need to pay special care to them in particular. because im on the computer a lot, this means creating a keyboard and mouse set up thats as supportive to healthy arm/wrist/hand posture as possible.

if youre up to it id suggest reading this link -> https://ergonomictrends.com/proper-ergonomic-typing-posture-at-computer/

and this link -> https://creakyjoints.org/living-with-arthritis/text-type-less-pain-arthritis/

not everything in here is applicable to me but i found the pencil test in particular very helpful! please be careful of the stretches in here - if youre already injured it does NOT take a lot to make it worse.

now, it can be easy to think an ergonomic computing setup costs a lot of money, cus capitalism is a tricky bitch, but things like stuffed animals , ice packs, and shifting tables around has helped me to get an ergonomic set up.

also, id worry less about screening for typos, capitalization, etc, in general. on a keyboard capitalization requires flexing the hand. if youre in a state, give yourself permission not to bother, and typos on tumblr dot com fit right in.

THAT SAID, thats in regards to typing specifivally. while helpful, i do find theyre a bit less helpful with my mouse.

that said

four - the mouse.

the mouse is actually the easiest part of computing for me personally. theres lots of ways that it can be used that i can effectively manage my pain - switching hands, using different parts of my hand, different positions, etc. that said i think if theres anything ergonomic worth buying, itd probably be an ergonomic mouse.

now im not sure what your set up is but on windows computers in the start menu theres a list of tools under ease of access

i use the on screen keyboard to do my typing because im voice-shy lol uwuw

BUT and this could also be mega valuable if you only have a phone

you can use voice to text to write

This is an option thats possible on mobile and desktop devices, and tbh if youre having hand pain, dont mind speaking out loud, but still want to write i'd really suggest this!!! it would allow you to rest your hands so they can heal while still getting out those creative energies so you can balance your emotional well being too.

alright, now...

this is the part i feel would need the most disclaimers, and would suggest that if you do this you ask for help, be they from your pharmacy, from other people who share your specific condition, or if possible a doctor.

It's basically the rest of RICE, plus some, but its easy to do more damage with them, so take care.

-> Elevate. Depending on the kind of injury, elevation can take the stress off and improve blood circulation to the area so it heals better.

-> ice/heat. this one is very easy to fuck up so be careful but switching between ice and heat can help relieve pain and speed up healing a smidge, depending on your condition. Ice works better for me because mine is an inflammatory disease and heat draws in blood to the area - this is how it helps progress healing iirc but also means extra inflammation. cold does the opposite so thats my preference.

-> compression and stability. wrist braces can help keep your hands supported while they heal, compression gloves are another one thats good for. well a lot of things but specifically circulatory issues that can mean pain. These NEED to be fitted for best results so if you can't get any customized to you talk to a pharmacist - most drugs stores will have these in stock. also they look cool >) a brace is not the same as a compression glove so keep an eye out! its easy to make mistakes when we're in pain. be kind to yourself.

-> over the counter pain medications. again, ask your pharmacist. which ones you can or can't take will be dependant on you. these can include topicals btw!! I don't use topicals because I have cats i don't want to poison, but my mom does. we have the same condition and she found that warming creams with CBD in them were especially beneficial for her hand pain. if you don't mind shelling out money and there's a Chinese medicine practitioner in your area, my mom has also had a TON of success with our local one's topicals and acupuncture. But again, this is usually a pretty expensive option, and rightfully so imo.

i personally found these fuckers to be very helpful, but i can't take them anymore because they interact another med i'm on now. but again this sort of thing is something to be careful with, especially if you're worried about your liver or kidneys or stomach lining. if you need to, don't be shy about getting someone else to open this for you. even at the store if you have to go by yourself!!!

-> i try to be careful of what i eat. if you struggle with this, please, please be mindful of not triggering yourself, and just skip to the next point.

that said, some foods do seem to aggravate or even trigger inflammation. while i cant afford to stick to an anti-inflammatory diet, I can be mindful of moderating things like my sugar and alcohol intake. a little treat is fine once in a while but i do try to shop with a preference for products that are under 15% of sugar/serving, or find products with stevia in them. for some reason aspartame seems to increase my pain levels.

also try to drink a lot of water. its hard to heal when we're dehydrated! if you can, use a straw so you dont have to hold your cup!!

five - again, try to get as much rest as you can.

if youre in a significant amount of pain, which it sounds like you are, the sleep you're getting probably isn't very restful, and your body and mind are going to have a lower threshhold for exhaustion anyway because

pain is tiring. straight up, it's exhausting. this also means your mood is probably gonna take a fuck of a hit if you're anything like me, and if you have a mental illness and/or are neurodivergent you might have a little more trouble with self management for a bit, so play close attention and baby yourself as much as possible. use your skills. if you need help finding some i do have some uploaded on my tumblr under the tag

'mental health resources'

so above all, i reiterate, whenever possible, give yourself permission to just do nothing. veg the fuck out. be patient, and seek out things you can still enjoy.

six - that said, do try to keep moving at least a little bit.

it can be possible to guard body parts over much and lead to more injuries with over compensating or if the area becomes 'locked'. it can also just mean that we need to build up our strength again. once you or your doctor or pharmacist even thinks its safe, try little itty bitty stretches. test and challenge your range of motion. this is why i'm so aggro about drawing when i can lmao but DON'T push it.

seven - self compassion meditations.

i thought these were hoaky until i did them in a therapy group and now im hooked LOL

now, which meditations i use when im in pain are...i need to be picky about them. grounding meditations in particular really seem to bring my pain top of mind and make it worse. but self compassion meditations are ones i've found some success with, and these are applicable to mental illness as well.

here's 2 ive gone thru and i think theyre decent

the above does need your hands but i found this one in particular to be very effective for my pain actually. PLEASE modify the instructions as you see fit to care for your pain!!

At the end of the day though the thing that's helped me most was getting treatment for my condition and following it as close as possible.

i'm wishing you luck and compassion and patience nonny. sending you strength. please find as many reasons to make every moment as enjoyable as possible - listening to music, watching your favourite show, snuggles - anything that lifts you up spiritually and emotionally and mentally that you can. feel your feelings, but give yourself enrichment so the next minute, hour, tonight, tomorrow, day after, next week, next month, is something you can still look forward to.

hope you feel better soon.

#freak gets asks #i hope this helps. good luck. #long post