#idk is this even a musing

[butcharium]

I often do think it is important to call myself a woman. In past I've had kids ask me "are you a man or a girl" and in hindsight I think these kids were quite perceptive of the world. Especially when you're in your 20s it's men and girls, I've seen students write pieces describing themselves as men, but their female peers of the same age they call girls, but I have also heard bisexual women say they like both men and girls. In past I've fallen into that myself and said that yeah I'm a lesbian I like girls, but do I? No I am in my twenties and I am actually only attracted to my fellow adults - women. It does feel more serious, less trivial, both to be and be attracted to women as opposed to girls, and that can be a bit uncomfortable to be faced with. It is also important to me as a butch. I am no longer a tomboy I am a butch I am no longer a girl I am a woman. I am a woman and women can be like me. I don't feel like I've succeeded enough at adulting to call myself a woman, but that doesn't matter. I am 25, and if the word bears other connotations so be it, that's not my problem.

#to be fair i have also heard men on their 20s say man feels too serious of a word to them #but idk like so much of our society infantilize women i wont do the same #but also like in group of friends i do hear both men and women call each other boys/girls like girl's trip/boy's trip evening with the boys #lunch with the girls etc like ofc theres many situations where those words are used past adulthood in a way that makes sense but still #musings #butch

[bionicboxes]

THE SMOOTH TASTE OF [NEO]

#spamton #spamton neo #deltarune chapter 2 #deltarune #box art #he's very fun to play with both perspective and color with :) #idk what it is he's just fun for me to draw. makes him a good muse for experimenting #colors ended up pretty similar to the prior piece even though i was trying to do something else lol rip #edit just put both the spam man drawings here. #i wont delete the first post bc it has nice tags but idk. feel like throwing them together

[surplus-of-sarcasm]

I Do

TW: Blood, bruises, and some angst

Ya girl has some off-days from college, and she's decided to use em. Missed y'all < 3

The villain's gloved fingers drummed impatiently on the table, his dark shadow looming over the hero with a promise of danger.

"What's it going to be, Hero? I sell those codes to Supervillain? Or you comply with our little agreement?" His tone was perfectly calm, eerily so, his eyes impossible to read behind the domino mask, but he still emanated danger, his lips drawn together in a tight line.

It was cruel calling it 'their' agreement because the hero had no hand in this. The suggestion had left her more shocked than angry, still reeling from the villain's words.

"Marry me," he'd said in a commanding tone. Like any other choice would've been the wrong answer, tilting her chin upwards ever so subtly.

And the hero held his gaze, transfixed, gasping and laughing and hoping this was nothing but a fever dream.

"Wha-" the hero choked out incoherently.

The villain had let go of her face, his hands resting on the top of her chair. "I can repeat it as many times as you want me to," he stage-whispered against the shell of her ear, his tone gentle and dangerous all at once.

"But, I don't understand. What could you possibly gain from this of all things? You despise me, Villain." She truly couldn't process any of what she was told, the mere idea of being tethered so bindingly to her worst enemy leaving her mind an ineffective, nervous wreck.

The villain huffed out a rough laugh, very genuine and horribly cruel. "Oh, but I do despise you. Very much. I despise how defeated and humiliated you left me in front of half the city . Despised the fact that you got me locked up. Despised how for the very first time, I actually felt like I lost the game, and I'm a rather sore loser, you know." The villain's demeanour was eerily calm, his shoulders straight, his resting face showing nothing but a placid neutrality as he turned to stand in front of the hero, but it was arguably more terrifying, more unpredictable.

"I just want to see you as defeated as I've been, Hero. Bound so intimately to your worst enemy, your greatest nightmare. If you do this, it means admitting to me, and more importantly, to yourself, that the only option you have is bending to my whims," he crooned, his lips curling into a wicked smirk.

The hero wanted to scream, to kick the villain in the teeth and watch the blood trickle down his lips and the bruising dye his skin a grotesque purple. She wanted to think of a clever solution that left the man's face contorted with a strange mix of hatred and respect, to blow his plan up in his face. Anything that would spare her this hell.

"Did I mention you have exactly five minutes to decide?" he piped up casually, examining his nails.

The hero swore and the villain let out a half-snicker. This was madness. A death sentence that would last for the rest of her life. And it didn't matter if she said no, if she undid whatever she could of the havoc those codes would wreak in Supervillain's hands. The conviction so heavily saturated in the villain's tone, the way his jaw clenched and his fists tightened was more than enough proof that he would spread more chaos, spark more fights, destroy an endless array of things and lives until she gave in to him.

The villain loved control like he loved the air he breathed, even more so, like a drug that left him intoxicated and lusting for more.

If she didn't listen, she was sending everyone she cared about, sending the city, the whole world if the villain had it his way, to hell.

The hero sucked in a measured breath, reading the contract word for word, from the title to the fine print, scouring it for a loophole she could use, for any more tricks up the villain's sleeve, just to find nothing. She tried to relax her tensed shoulders, her grip merciless on the pen in her erratically shaking hands, every curve and line of the letters of her name feeling like a blade was slicing through her heartstrings like how one would rip a stalk; slowly, unevenly, time seeming to slow down and the world seeming to freeze for a moment that felt like a thousand years and then some.

The villain didn't smile or laugh or let any display of emotion etch itself onto the harsh lines of his features. He nodded curtly instead, snatching the paper and folding it into a square and tucking it in a well-concealed pocket of his suit. "The cruelty only ends here," he attested, his voice tight and no longer playful, the way it was whenever he promised something.

The hero nodded, swallowing the humiliation at the back of her throat, even though she wasn't inclined to believe him.

"There's a ceremony. Nothing very insane, just you, me and an officiator. This is just a contract, not a marriage certificate, even if we both know which one of those is more binding. You'll show up today, if you know what's good for you, heroine."

The hero wasn't sure when she was up on her feet and slapping the villain harshly across the face, blood spurting from his mouth and staining his perfectly straight teeth, as he only grit them into a manic grin, shaking with a hoarse cackle as he wiped the blood of his face "Is that how you treat your husband, my dear? Do they forget to teach you manners at the hero agency?"

The hero was too dazed with rage to speak, trying to mar the villain's visage with another rough blow to it, until he caught her hand with an iron fist. "I said I'd never hurt you for nothing, but not that I'd let you do to me what you please without consequence. So play nice, darling." The villain let go of her arm slowly, the bruises he left in his wake more than enough of a warning.

The second he left, the hero didn't cry as she thought she would, she didn't scream, she didn't destroy everything around her or rip through her hair. Instead, she slid down against the wall, expressionless but breathing hard, her lungs hungry for air that seemed so unfairly little, her heart playing songs of anxiety and fury and sorrow every horrible emotion she'd ever known.

She was marrying the villain. Marrying the villain, and she couldn't do a thing about it. Marrying him and no one would come to save her.

Sometimes being a hero means saving the whole world except yourself.

✨️Timeskip✨️

Sure enough, the villain was there in a tailored suit, in front of his house her new prison, where he'd told her to show up, the officiator standing with a solemn expression on his face.

The villain wasn't supposed to be handsome, the dark brown hair she was normally used to seeing messy and caked with blood slightly damp with gel and mostly hanging in loose, luscious waves, his eyes a dazzling green-blue, long, dark lashes framing them in a way that put the best kinds of kohl to shame and his cheekbones sharp and high-set, the split on his lip hardly distracting from the rest of his appearance. It was so unbelievably stupid, so inconsequential, and yet the hero hated him even more for his tantalisingly beautiful features, for the way his grin would've fooled her into thinking he truly was in love, if she didn't notice how it didn't reach up to his eyes.

The hero hadn't paid any mind to whatever the officiator had said until it was her turn to say 'I do', flashing the villain a terribly fake smile that wasn't half as charming as his, but it would have to do as she slid a simple platinum ring on his finger, and he slid a diamond ring onto hers.

"Let's go," the villain said when they were finally done, gently taking the hero's gloved hand in his and leading her up the stairs and into the mansion.

The heroine was not one to admit defeat and snap in half in the fashion that a twig would. Many a battle would need to be lost for a victory in the war, many a sacrifice would have to be made for a greater reward. She would take the pain like stone would take a blunt pickaxe, just to twist a knife in the villain's chest when he least expected. Because history forgets everyone but those who laugh the last.

Tagging for this: @hufflepuffwritingstuff2

Le Taglist: @larinzz @syberianjade @lateuplight @altu-interactions @enbious-prince @astr0-mj @thelazywitchphotographer @a-fucking-simp-00 @addictedsandwhichaki @justalittlecorrupted @quaggasus @adamswrongchild @vernilliom @mothmancommitsarson @starssabove @kurai-hono-blog @talkingsperm @muffinrebel44 @sunnynwanda @annablogsposts @cardboardarsonist @itsmyworld23 @onlywhump @m3rakii @crotchgoblin69 @wtfevenisausername @pendarling @avloki-pal @kaiwewi @those-damn-snippets @genuinelythioehat-is-whump @ghostofnorth @dragonmine-24 @detectivepetrichor @orangeduckweed @red-is-the-reputation4444 @alexii117

#hero x villain #prompt #snippet #fiction #angst #tw blood #tw bruises #natalia's writing #forced marriage #hero/villain #writers on tumblr #female writers #ok ok idk what this even is atp #it just happened #also hero c'mon WHY are you mad he's hot #that's a plus 😭 #enemies to. . .uhh you'll see #maybe idk my schedule is unpredictable and so is my muse

[ride-a-dromedary]

If the implication in the old journal entry is accurate, and Halsin ended up having to be the one to destroy the shade of his former First Druid that he trained/was taught under, do you think he had time to mourn him? Do you think he fell to his knees in the rubble, feeling the shadows press heavy around him, catatonic, as the weight of realization finally started to hit him? Were any of them reflected back at him when he peered into the dull, sparking energy left behind? Did he let himself cry? Scream? Did he carefully stone his expression and nod tightly in approval, like neatly tying a package, since what he eliminated wasn't him - what was left was so twisted beyond recognition, such a dark reflection of the man he had come to see as second family, that it was better destroyed?

Or did he have to run? Did he shove his grief deep down in the place where it always goes to make room for his survival instinct to bring him into the sun again? Did he have to unceremoniously abandon what was left of him because there was still a chance there may be others - a hope made in vain that the ones they had to leave behind were still out there - praying as he went that he had found peace, that Silvanus recognized his face, before the curse took what was left?

#BG3 Musing #Halsin #Halsin Posting #you think halsin watched astarion fall to his knees and sob #and karlach scream at her hurt #or laezel's jaw set as her world and everything she knew came crumbling down around her #and just...felt his fingers twitch in empathy? #do you think when the emerald enclave responded to his request for aid by putting him in charge he realized that eventually #everything abandons him when he needs it most? #i sure do #idk man the idea that halsin possibly had to put down a man he obviously admired #and had to come to the realization the even those who seem infallible and mighty can fall in a heart beat #that for some reason you survived when those who *should have* did not #that your name got hailed among harpers as one of a hero when all you want to do #is curl up on yourself and tell yourself that you are nothing but what is left #that...gets to me a bit #angst on crimis

[prestonmonterey]

"Im straight" "Im gay" I hate and i love?? I can't explain???? but still i am tormented????

#adamandi #is..is this even anything? #idk #marble musings

[johannestevans]

went on a lunch date recently where the guy like. didn't mention what job he did on grindr, just that he'd been working late etc, and then when i got there and mentioned it i asked what he did, and he was like "oh well i work for the police" and i was. immediately shut down, understandably

and later on i asked his opinions abt police brutality, police abuse rates, if he thinks the police should be abolished etc, and later was like, yeah, ethically this is a bad match

but idk like. when ppl tell me they're a cop or a gard (or in the military) on grindr i just block them from the off, bc it's like, well, you're cool w brutality, rape, and abuse, there's no reason you could or should be trusted with an intimate partner. and this guy had mentioned he followed me on twitter and didn't at all seem surprised by my open disgust for his profession, and idk if that was why he didn't mention it up front and thought i wouldn't make a big deal about it (as if) or if he just doesn't mention it to anybody

but i'm still so like ??

like my house has a very explicit no cops policy. if sb else brought their partner or brother or whatever to dinner and they were a cop, they would be told to fucking leave. as if i'm gonna fuck one myself

#musings #like idk man. there's ppl in my life who absolutely hold places of power in our carceral system #like. social workers or doctors and nurses or teachers or who work in politics etc #like all ppl who in diff ways have power and influence over others including their autonomy and agency #and you have to rely on your individual ethics in a fundamentally unethical society #but a COP??????? #like even were it not for the personal safety aspect #even if your cop isn't from the offset a domestic abuser and rapist #they'll work w them? they are in a job that ultimately encourages complete dehumanisation of vulnerable ppl? and violence against them? #that rots your brain and your soul? #if they really had ethics they wouldn't be a cop in the first place

[muninnhuginn]

li tianchen saying he hated people who pretended to be nice but were secretly jerks the most + the neighbour who saw what was going on but backed off (whether because of his own safety or because liu lan shook her head to get him to go away with the idea that it would stop further escalation). the idea that "jerk pretending to be nice" in this case is represented by an observer seeing something wrong and refusing to intervene.

looking at cheng xiaoshi's repeated interference during dives vs lu guang's mantra to keep the past as it was. to remain an observer deliberately.

#link click #link click spoilers #shiguang daili ren spoilers #tying these ideas together in a very loopy bow until I can decide what to make of it #the fact that during this entire dive we don't actually get to see how much of it was keeping things the same vs potential alterations #and that cxs went into the dive not knowing both li parents would die but lg received that info during the dive #he could easily decide to relay that info or choose to keep it to himself in the hopes of making cxs follow his instructions #(just as with keeping emma's death from him. the earthquake outcome.) #has lu guang actually been forced to change in any capacity or will he keep following the same lines. or does he trust cxs has changed #enough to follow the path even knowing the outcome. idk idk it's just musings #anyway I'm side-eying the guy with the football in the fountain big time. got some ideas but nothing settled yet beyond being sus at no fac

[rowanisawriter]

wip whenever

tagged by ten thousand people over the course of the past few weeks where i haven’t had anything to share so now i’m going to subject you all to wyll/shadowheart from a prompt fill i’ve been picking at instead of writing my exchange fic like i’m supposed to…

.

Once upon a time, a princess. Perhaps. She is as quiet as one, as secretive. Hidden away in some internal world, or maybe trapped. Wyll can’t tell exactly how much of her quiet mystery is due to her devotion to her goddess or something else. Whenever he tries to ask, he gets a simple little smile and no explanations. No reasoning as to why she’s whispering to herself, sitting on her heels at camp, far enough from the light of the campfire that the edges of its orange glow barely touch her. No hint on the strange and all consuming injury on her hand that distracts her. No closer to understanding the thoughts that go through her head, strange and beyond his imagination, but he wants to try.

He begins with small gestures, the ones he’s read about in books, the ones they used to read to him back in the city when he was still a duke’s son. He hands her a cup of vinegary wine they found in some ruin or another, a flower plucked from the roadside, a shiny flat rock perfect for skipping across a still lake. She always accepts gingerly, as if expecting a trick along with the treat.

“I just like seeing a little smile on your face,” he tells her earnestly.

She starts to believe him, he can tell by how her smile begins to widen, but then she clutches her injured hand close to her chest and turns away. A princess in peril, locked away in the tower of her mind, and the dragon that traps her within. He feels something in his chest expand at the sight of her pain. Lucky for them, he’s a hero. Saving maidens in distress is what he does best.

#idk who out there (outside of the galeheart server lol) has ever even thought about wyll/shadowheart #but i for one am rolling around in the mud of Prince Charming and princess in peril #maybe a play on fairy tale idk #it looks ok so far idk where this will go #also someone fuckin slap me i NEED to finish this exchange fic #and my useless boomer mother in law is stayin the weekend with us so who knows when i’ll find the energy to write while ignoring her #republican propaganda and veiled antivax musings #less than a year and we move so fuckin far we’ll never clap eyes on a republican again god i hope i last that long #anyway LOL #wyll ravengard #shadowheart #wip whenever #my writing

[apollos-boyfriend]

what happened with jaiden and shipping?? /gen ive seen a lotta posts about shipping and stuff

OOPS sorry that one was my fault. i just made a post talking about how i hope qjaiden and qniki have some sort of romantic relationship bc as an aroace person i’m tired of ppl treating every aroace character as extremely repulsed/averse to romance and sex and it’s just kind of spiraled. literally nothings happened ccjaiden has never spoken about character shipping i just flew too close to the sun again

#muse talk #anon #i’ve just seen a lot of jokes like ‘haha can’t believe nikis trying to flirt with the ONE aroace person on the server’ #and first of all. no. points to qmike. second of all. #so what?? we don’t know anything about qjaidens stance on romance!! we don’t even know if she IS aroace!!! #idk i just want more diverse aroace content

[tyrannuspitch]

i don't know why i'm thinking about crimson peak again, but i am, so here you go. some semi-coherent musings:

i've seen a lot of people react negatively to thomas and edith's confrontation in the climax (you tried to kill me / i did / you said you loved me / i do) because they see it as an attempt to "redeem" thomas, and they don't think it succeeds at that. but honestly i've never interpreted it that way?

what i've always taken away from it is more like... thomas just doesn't see the love and the violence as inherently contradictory. like, i'm not saying he currently wants to kill her, but he doesn't seem to see the gravity of the fact that he did. he was raised on violence. all his major interactions with the world have involved someone hurting him (parents; almost certainly boarding school), or him hurting someone else (wives). the only loving relationship he ever had before edith was with lucille, and that's deeply unhealthy on both sides... to the point that when he has this exchange, he's minutes away from being murdered by lucille.

lucille has her own speech about violence and love which frames the two as fundamentally intertwined, and her violence as coming from love, which is both tragic and horrifying in its own way. but i feel like thomas' thing isn't even... that. it's just like... stark coexistence. as an onlooker you naturally want to reconcile these two parts of him somehow, to fold the love into the violence or the violence into the love, but you can't. they're just both true at once. i can't quite put into words why, but i want to call it eerie.

(and i think this is part of the point of thomas disparaging edith's writing, too: he calls it sentimental and simplistic because it's not how he works. he's not just a villain, and he's not just a tragedy. he's both, and he remains both throughout the story. there isn't any comfortable conclusion to him. maybe he wasn't unsaveable, but he also wasn't saved.)

so. as i see it, it's not "he tried to kill her, but he loves her." it's: "he tried to kill her, and he loves her."

like, yes, of course, you're right, thomas' love of edith doesn't make the violence less real. but. it is also true that thomas' violence towards edith doesn't make the love less real. does that unsettle you? good.

#crimson peak #mandatory disclaimer that i'm talking about love THE EMOTION lmao. NOT saying murder doesn't make a relationship unhealthy. #this film is on my mind a weird amount for something i've seen twice and don't have strong feelings about at all #i watched it and i was like 6/10 get better at stalking and now i just have thoughts like these now and then. like a curse. #also this musing is purely thematic. idk what exactly is going on in his head to make this possible and i am unlikely to bother to find out #does this post even say anything or am i just rephrasing the same idea ten times? who cares. goodbye.

[aparticularbandit]

in which i feel like there are classic anime that everyone knows (or at least everyone from a certain time period knows) but not everyone has seen.

neon genesis evangelion haruhi suzimuya higurashi no naku koro ni flcl dragonball z lucky star mobile suit gundam

(this is not a comprehensive list. feel free to add your own!)

i have finally gone back to lucky star.

#musings #bandit liveblogs #i just have it on for background etc. #idk if i'll actually make it through it #but like #i feel like there are some older anime that everyone knows #because they were THAT BIG or THAT INFLUENTIAL #you know? #anyone who knows anime knows evangelion #even if they haven't seen it #everyone knows dragonball z #you know what i mean? #even if you don't know what it is that you know #you recognize it

[madeimpact]

Who can I bother for Quadratum threads

#OR LIKE. it doesn't even have to be in the purest sense of the word. #if you've got a muse that lives in “our” world i want to throw kh4 sora at them. #let him make your muse go “what the fuck” while he bonks a fuckin darkside and breaks every law of physics #❛ general: wishlist. #❛ ooc: shut up neg. #idk i just feel like it's a sin that i have a kh4 verse tag and no quadratum threads to speak of in it LMAO #they're all set after he theoretically gets back

[skunkes]

do you guys mind when artists draw the same thing over and over for real. my eldest sister is a painter but all she ever paints is self portraits which is fine but she always got upset over her...huge self portrait oil paintings never selling LOL which is besides the point but i was always like. I dont want that to be me...!

But it essentially IS me now what with my art fixations just getting narrower (and devolving. both independently and as a result) by the year.... i know most of what's keeping ppl around is the way i draw sum stuff anyway, vs the content, but idk i do feel embarrassment when i look at doodle pages and its 95% my sona im simply not creative enough for anything else (+ again my art keeps devolving anyway)

i mean. im gonna do it anyway bc im not creative + dont have any ideas or a story to tell + i cant draw but i wanna know if i should feel bad about it...LOL

#sometimes i even worry about finding a partner again bc well. idk. i lost my muse when that happened. idk what id draw if it wasnt me and my #imaginary boyfriend. ykwim. but thats another issue completely sorry im goin off track neow #talkys

[ride-a-dromedary]

Halsin desperately wanting children vs Minthara's cut pregnancy storyline face off in the square, but they violently start making out instead.

#FOR THE RECORD this is a joke...but also *eyes emoji* #BG3 Musing #halsin/minthara has very big you wanna fuck me so bad it makes you look/act stupid energy #and then they proceed to do so #fantastic racism vs fantastic prejudice due to past experience and cultural influence face off and make a baby maybe if u wanna idk #maybe we could learn to see the best and accept the less than best in each other and grow and develop as people if you wanna idk #*could* this have been good? it absolutely could have been in the right writer's hands #'but x party said/did -' i do not listen to larian's rules nor whatever they have added here #nor - like i said - did i ever trust them to implement this properly or well and they did not disappoint #any ultimatum they have shoehorned in is not canon to me #if you can recruit minty on a good playthrough now for whatever excuse you should be able to recruit the both of them i don't make the rule #otherwise there is no point - keep her in the evil playthroughs #if i had a nickel every time a elf companion was implied to want or have a babies ever after ending (even in cut content) #i'd have two nickels which isn't a lot BUT WEIRD THAT-

[avelera]

As the weird mythology-obsessed kid growing up, I have countless times been disappointed by how little most people know about mythology, even in spaces where I thought people SHOULD know a bit more than the basics. (Namely, college level writing classes. Not just the students, but the teachers. At a top 20 liberal arts college. Literally just. Actual literature professors of mine not knowing relatively known stories like that Aphrodite cheated on Hephaestus with Ares. Reader, I was gobsmacked.)

The fact is, at least in the US, your average person on the street, NOT ON TUMBLR, but I mean like actually outside this bubble, doesn’t know much mythology. They might know Zeus, or Hercules, or “Mighty Aphrodite” based on recent TV shows or the Disney movies or the aforementioned song.

I’m reminded of this XKCD comic which really nails it:

This also applies to mythology. More people than you, the reader of this, probably don’t know who Orpheus and Eurydice are than you might think. Hadestown returned those names to the sort of mainstream and even THAT niche of musical theater is still, well, pretty damn niche.

Thor 3 has Zeus in it, and Hercules, and obviously Thor. But the Thor franchise is wildly inaccurate to actual Norse mythology is probably the biggest influx of mainstream knowledge of mythology where you MIGHT be able to talk to the average person about who, say, Loki is. But it’s doubtful they’d know a single historically accurate myth, unless MAYBE they’d also played God of War. But again, these are still very nerdy niches within the general mainstream culture.

I dunno. Maybe there’s no point to this. Just that sometimes I see people on here, especially in the Sandman fandom, kind of surprised by mythological knowledge not being more widespread. But in my personal experience, even in very nerdy circles, it very often really, REALLY isn’t.

#Maggie rambles #idk sometimes people expect to know who Calliope is just from hearing her name but like #calliope is just a name? even mythology buffs can’t necessarily name all the muses #lots of people in Greece still have mythologically informed names #Orpheus and Eurydice is actually a pretty niche myth if you’re not like an opera fan which is also not super common these days #just most people aren’t into these generally pretty old niche knowledge spaces #even people who are VERY EDUCATED don’t necessarily know their mythology #I was English major and there were people who needed a primer before we read Paradise Lost because they didn’t know the references #these were ENGLISH MAJORS #idk I’ve grown very bitter about this over the years lol and it makes me sigh when mythology buffs are somehow surprised by this

[chronicowboy]

actually the worst writer feeling is not writer's block or no inspiration or just an exhaustion that you can't write through, it's when you have that itch to write but inspiration is juuuust out of reach like i can keep brushing my fingers against the corner of my next idea but i can't quite grab it

#sami rambles #i hate this so much #what happened to the me who was writing six different things at once in april i want her back #and yes i know i just finished writing 65k in 11 days but honestly that au wrote itself i was possessed by the pathetic spirit of beneddie #and elke's wonderful muse spirit #but idk its not even that i dont have ideas. i have five ideas i absolutely LOVE #but nothing is happening with those and i keep getting these little flickers of inspiration where i can see the rough shadow #of my next fav idea but the shadow skitters away whenever i shine a light on it #it's so irritating