#idk idk its embarassing to talk about

[cosmicallyavg]

my undying love and excitement for all things doctor who and just the way i get all tingly and stuff when watching it or when i hear the intro or literally anything and i want to explode is part of the reason i rly think i am on the spectrum i am not going to lie 

#me literally having to scream to let out the excitement Multiple times while watching a single episode #is probably not normal lbr 💀 #like i genuinely get shivery but not in a cold way more just i have energy i need to release #and idk how to properly express it #but now that i do have this suspicion about myself i have been letting myself... stim? #like #flappy hands and stuff #and it helps it feels nice #yknow #idk idk its embarassing to talk about #and i feel like people are so quick to dismiss it as a possibility #but yeah #doctor who just rly gets me going okay i have so many normal emotions about it #and if im right about having the tism #it makes everything about me from when i was like 11 make so much more sense bro #does lauren have autism

[anonzentimes]

Does anyone else do this thing where you're afraid to mischaracterize a character you like to the point that it's hard to write?

And that sometimes for a short while you feel as if you understand the character and are happy, and then someone says something and you go back to not being able to write because you're embarrassed??

I'm always this cycle where I'll be really happy about media I like and then get really ashamed rinse and repeat lol

Like I sort of miss when I was a younger kid who could do anything without being embarrassed, I can barely start having new hobbies because I feel so horrible when i mess up something, If I didn't start editing videos super super young I bet I wouldn't be able to do it now.

#help me out here #komahina #well its related to komahina #because thats what im a little ashamed about right now #random #talks #just asking #just wondering #ashamed #embarassment #embarassing #shame #growing up #the struggle is real #characters #writing #nagito komaeda #im hyperfixating so hard rn #but im also ashamed #so idk whats goin on #LIKE I FEEL BAD??? #mistakes #:( sigh #vent post #vent #personal #i think #idk what im doing #please read #asking for me

[strawberrybabydog]

i find myself consistently annoyed with "quadroped mask therians" not because of them but because of the awfully self-unaware adult therians on tumblr who wont shut up about it. i am begging you to put down tiktok for 24 hours. just 1 day. thats it. please

#its gotten to the point where i get second hand embarassment from reading some of the stuff adult therians are saying #i just. dont care what middle schoolers are doing personally #'but theyre bullying me!!!!' you are an adult close your eyes block them or delete tiktok idk what to tell you lol #like i. i cannot stress enough. that this 'problem' exists nowhere except tiktok. #i would literally have no idea about quadmask therian kids if whiney adult therians didnt talk about it

[miutonium]

Y'all ever had that one F/O or Crush from media that you either just a casual fan or never watch at all and just decides to like that character solely out of their vibe????

#okay since I started this I go first lol #its Roronoa Zoro hshsjsksjs #oKAY SHHH LISTEN LISTEN I CAN EXPLAINNNN #i watch OP but ONLY CASUALLY #and then I just stopped at somewhere pre-timeskip #theres just too much for me to catch up now I just didnt bother and also shh out that spork down because im about to say something bad #turns out I dont really vibe with OP like this is totally a me problem and i just dont like the cringy anime exaggerated action thing #idk how to explain but you know when anime character go EHHHHH and HAAAAAA and make weird faces?? yeah turns out i dont like that when- #i get older lol I liked OP as a teenager but as I get older i just dont like it lol #but oh god all of this doesnt matter the only reason why I tolerated with OP in the first place is because of Zoro #his stupid sexy voice and his stupid sexy grin and his stupid sexy body and his stupid sexy attitude and his stupid sexy- #this stupid green haired man made me go to ao3 actively seeking his y/n fanfic #and i have to pretend I know which character is which #i'll be like “mmhmm yes i know this bad guy he's a pirate mhmm yes angsty sword fight and OH why are you pantless zoro????” when im reading #but skxhgxjdks ENOUGH i said too much this is so embarassing akdhdjissbsjap #now someone please tell me if they had the same situation like me or im just a weirdooo 😭😭😭😭 #asuka speaks #selfship talk

[bangcakes]

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#so like is the rest of my life just gonna be Yearning from now on NZNXNXJXNXMX #ok maybe not the rest of it. but the forseeable future. god how do ppl do this. how have ppl BEEN doing this. #ignorance is truly bliss like. i talk to my friends about him n they dont like fully understand bc theyve never liked someone so mucg #its just so embarassing to talk about n i just BDNDJDJNDJD #i just !!!! always imagined myself single. and would Say Stuff about not wanting anything like that but now im a big clown JDJDJDJJDDJ #BUT HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW ITD BE LIKE THIS. GOD #im also like. trying to talk myself out of it. like oh maybe its all in my head JDJDJDJDJDN #but like just too much has happened. idk. im just........ im feeling impatient 😭😭😭😭 #but like. its progressed well so far with me just progressing things when they feel Right. hhhhh god #and like things wouldnt have progressed this far without him liking me at least a little???? #idk !!!!!!!!!!!! this stuff is so hard. and like i cant even see him now without making plans hhhhhhhhhhh #it was so much easier before we graduated NDJDJDJDJDMMFMD #ah well..... soon i guess. soon #itd be really nice tho if he like asked me out. but i have a feeling that maybe im not being obvious to him?? maybe i gotta spell it out idk #he also said (in ref to a job offer tho) that he wouldnt take it unless it was for sure #and i have a feeling......... that maybe hes not sure ????????? god idk #rip to my simple life. guess i gotta wait til i see him again hhhhhhh #personal

[nevoeiross]

very sad watching my one that got away, my childhood crush, the boy i grew up with and probably the only guy i could ever even see myself being happy with destroy his life the way his father did :(

#look away im feeling feelings for a man for once i know its embarassing #just get this overwhelming sadness whenever i come back home and see him and he is more and more like his father everytime #even after when we were kids he used to talk about how much he didnt want to be like that and how he wasnt going to….. #but also he never really left this place and i dont know hes always been weird about me leaving #we were having coffee and he asked when i finished college and when id come bacn to live here and like #im not gonna come back anytime soon just the thought makes me miserable and ive always said i wanted to be somewhere else when we were kids #feel like ive abandoned him we used to be so close when we were kids we were always at eachothers houses and then it stopped i guess #:(((( #idk i cant help but think about these things every time we hang out and i know im not responsible for his life choices #and what he does with his life its his business but still #it makes me sad

[straykats]

hearing chan/people switching languages mid sentences makes me feel so valid

#like whenever i hear someone do it im like. yes. its not just me. #for some reason i get a lot of??? #i was gonna say i get a lot of shit but then i was gonna say thats not true but then i realised i do get shit about it from some people rip #but anyways yeah a lot of my friends find it bamboozling so i try not to do it HAHA but hey get used to it or suffer ig 🙄🙄🙄 #jkjk ofc i wont purposefully make them suffer BUT yeah idk its. #its one of those things that make me feel like. embarassed to say i do bc given.. idk like given my experiences it sounds like im trying to #brag that i can speak two languages relatively fluently but like. idk/ #like especially w my brother -- idk why he gives me so much shit for speaking viet to him like my dude its not like u dont understand #and its not like im doing it to too rub it in ur face anything yknow why do u need to make such a big deal out of me speaking both language #or even /just/ viet 😭😭😭😭 #ANYWAYS thats my lil ramble over #kat talks

[sleepygaymerdisease]

im trying to respond to people on my post who have questions or are confused but theres just so many 😭 i dont know how to explain the intricacies of classism or how hard it is to get a lawyer to start and WIN a discrimination case. especially since i dont know australian laws. but like... this behavior, denying someone a job for their outfit, is really common across the world. classism is pervasive and it's dangerous and it costs people their lives. we would have to change the capitalist system, change policies across the globe, and work on our internalized classist beliefs for the rest of our lives.

#i think a lot of people are sharing the post in shock and horror. not knowing that this happens to people every day. which is really sad. #like. this is an issue that is literally ignored and swept under the rug. to the point where people dont think about it. even though like. #when you hear about Interview/Business Culture you know you have to dress well. everyone knows that's like step 1. but people havent #actually stopped and asked what the purpose of that is or what that means. people haven't considered what happens if you break that rule. or #why that rule is there at all... emily gwen said that they can't afford new clothing. and couldnt get the words out in the moment. but like. #imagine this from the interviewer's perspective. she saw someone who was 'unprofessional' because of their clothing. and that's fucked up! #WE know the situation because of their post. but they shouldnt need to justify their attire like that to get a damn job. we dont need to #know someones circumstances to treat them like a person. and i want everyone to really think about this. how many times in your life have #you seen someone with worn out clothes. dirty clothes. clothes with holes in them. clothes that are 'too casual' for their setting. and how #have you treated those people? how have you thought about them? and think about this in media. how many people with bad clothes are seen as #irresponsible? or treated like shit? this happens every day. and it's not australia specific or america specific either. it's everywhere. #so please show others compassion. this experience is traumatic and alienating. it's hard to reach out. its embarassing to talk about. #and it's even harder to get legal defense for this stuff. you need money and you need solid proof. oftentimes people have neither. #other things to consider clothing-wise: clothes that dont fit. too big or too small. modified outfits. clothes that dont match the weather #(like wearing a sweater in the summer or thin shirts/shorts in the winter). like. these are things people judge all the time idk. #what happened to emily was horrific. but it's not new and youre not immune to thinking the same way. #anis gaymer moments

[msdk-00]

also sooooooooo excited for tomorrow evening when i will go once again to local brewery with class where everyone beside me is a grad student (besides one girl who only showed up to class once to do her presentation) and they will all be talking to eachother because they are all friends meanwhile i do not say anything at all unless spoken to. but we will be eating pizza apparently so thats nice i guess. i cant skip this cuz im tryna get this prof to be my final project supervisor next semester and i think she has a soft spot for me that i dont wanna ruin. but oh my god its so painful to feel like such an intruder and not be able to hold a convo like everyone else (it is all my fault they did not do anything to exclude me i just am confused as to when to speak and what to say in order to become part of the group)

#like idk how to speak up in group situations bc someone talks as soon as smn else stops talking #or they interrupt eachother #n i think isnt it rude but they dont say anything or look bothereed? so i guess theres a nuance im not getting #or they talk about things id never guess to talk about or say things that id be embarassed by but nobody seems embarassed #i do ok in social situations where im spoken to and theres like an udnerstood context to the situation #but with them its so confusing to me and i feel like a child #self

[granhairdo]

my ultimate moment of comedic timing was that time i had a seizure during health class in high school

#i mean we weren't talking about seizures but it was still kinda funny idk #i was a class example! #though most of the kids didn't know i have epilepsy since its so minor so they did call 911 and it was kinda embarassing #i guess we were kinda on the topic of first aid #i think we were talking about either overdoses or alcohol poisoning

[idsb]

.

#god i am. SO stressed about this tour im on #its such a huge deal and people keep saying to me oh you play your cards right this tour will change your life but #the amount of fucking PRESSURE that puts me under is insurmountable #the lighting the past 2 nights has been abysmal #its hard to work in venues this packed and energetic #im honestly doing a very bad job #or like idk a very mediocre job #and i was talked up like CRAZY to get this job and i need to be doing way better than i am #and i keep thinking of all the people who are going to see my work every time i do anything #and im so fucking embarassed and i want to throw my computer out the window

[horrorwebs]

being attracted to people is so embarassing how do you guys do it dailily

#[ acespec ] [ have been attracted to 2 people in my entire life ] [ 1 of them somewhat recent ] [ terrible.should kill myself with hammers ] #ok its only terrible because i dont know what to do and because well. the people ive have felt this way towards are like off limits #why is it always [twice] unavailable people? whether it be emotionally or bc they have a partner.cant i like someone who might like me back #idk man. #im not like stressed about it anyway this last person was fleeting i dont like them anymore and we are close friends and i like that better #but the other day a friend asked me about it and i was like nah yeah dont like em anymore like that though i had a moment of attraction #and istg it was like the most embarassing moment of my life. god how i hate to talk about my feelings #spikeposting

[seithr]

rl chatterin in tags, dont worry about it just feel like talking about recent stuff. for those who dont care look at this birdthang i won on xiv then. my silly big bird..

#i dont owe explanation to anyone yeah i kno but i was going through something kinda rough the last little while and wanted to disappear #idk if it was at all noticeable but i feel like acknowledging it is healthier than feeling embarassed pretending i was Totally Fine. #alas im back and im... still just gona post on as normal. i can enjoy my Own Circle Of Enjoyment because im allowed to enjoy parts of life #even if i felt like utter death it doesnt mean i have to drag myself back to it once im finally crawling out. #it doesn't mean it didn't happen. doesn't mean it didn't hurt. but i dont have to reopen the wounds to prove something yknow. #i want to be alright and I will take these. when i feel i want to be happy i should not deny the pleasure of messaging friends #or little joys of any kind no matter how 'insignificant it is' next to my real stresses. you have to have something you smile about #and when you're ready to again why try and put it off? anyways. no idea if this makes sense. im tired but good i think. #i have to give myself little hype up shounen talks about joys and loves and life sometimes. its just gonna happen. #armour clanking #however i AM allowed to feel a little shy talking and being honest again so this is scheduled . hello. gootbye. ya boy hanging on 👍 #possibly employed boy at last even. probably contributed to getting better was that hope. ok no more sharing for real GOODNIGHT (MORNING)

[kn11ves]

idk what it is with me and women but they just flock to me in my time of need. 5 seconds ive been in a room and they want to tie my shoelaces for me they wanna help me do things they want to give me advice and make sure im okay i what

#i wish i was kdiding #I HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH IT! #btw im not talking about like. older women although that also happens to me #im talking about girls my age theyll just go to me like im a helpless baby bird if i need something #its not even my cane either because even when i have to do things without it (like my danza folkorica) they still wanna help me #like im so fr first day i showed up a girl tied my shoelaces TWICE and THEN drove me to my dorm afterwards with the rest of her friends i #mean that was so nice #idk what i activate in them but they always wanna help me out its so particular to me #and like. listen ok today we are learning a dance from sinaloa and to be short about it one of the moves is bending your back really far & #i was doing it wrong and bending badly and i ''nearly fell'' multiple times #except see i would never have fallen bc i have been so used to living without a cane until now that i know how to catch myself and im very #yk. good at not falling so i dont embarass myself #but it LOOKS very much like i am about to fall and at least THREE times the president was like ''oh my god ivan are you okay??'' #i spooked her so bad i felt bad😭😭 #its bc km always in front when shes teaching bc i wanna see her n others r too scared to be up front #and anyways what i was on about literally i was visibly struggling and EVERYONE IM NOT EXAGERARINF ALL THE GIRLS (well there was only one #other guy there but) STARTED GIVING ME ADVICE AND TRTING TO HELP ME one girl moved all the way accross her spot to mine and help guide me #shes so nice i hesrt her her name is charisma bro imagine your name being CHARM and she is charming :> very nice #it feels weird calling her my friend bc well we r all friends in a sense as we r clubmmates but. U Know #long rant TLDR women love me #dont tell them im afraid of them

[yuridovewing]

phone died so i couldn't post, but im gonna be like au speculating as i go through these and i want a good amount of them to be Somewhat rooted in canon? and man i gotta figure out whats just the erins being bad at establishing genuine connections between characters and a character genuinely being distant.

anyways is it just me or does bramblestar feel very distant from his children here

#he has a nice talk with alderpaw when he fails to catch anything on day 1 but he feels weirdly emotionless towards them? #i mean im a ''bramble is a bad dad to both litters'' truther but im wondering how much is like intentional #or me just looking too much into things #actually i wont take too many piss shots at the fandom here (too many) #but this person sucks so ill do it real quick. i actually think dr********r's au where brambles a bad dad to alder #is interesting in concept. like hes ashamed of his kid for not being a great hunter so he shoves him in the medicine den #and later into another clan #buuuuuut tbh i dont really like the way they went about it? like bramble berating alder in the den doesnt feel right #bramble is more the passive aggressive type i feel. at least in my au he is #sometimes more aggressive than passive but thats his main form of being towards his family #like. he doesnt physically abuse squilf. but he DOES berate and isolate her #and idk to his kids i guess him being verbally abusive would work for his character? but it doesnt feel right to me #i think if i had to go at that au itd be more like. bramble keeps negging his kid. getting at his skin #not talking to him in public even when alder calls out his name. downplaying his achievements #''oh. you finally caught a mouse. ok. thats good progress i suppose. keep at it'' #idk subtle stuff like that that eats at alder's insecurities over and over and over until he snaps #and THATS when bramble snaps at him. then he pins the blame on alder for snapping first #and then he goes on about how alder is embarassing him and needs to ''go do something else'' #and alder chooses to be a medicine cat on his own but its bc hes been worn down and is ashamed of his skills #rather than him being shoved in the den bc ngl i really dislike the idea that being a doctor is ass #and you go be a doctor when youre a failure at everything #if i had to do it id have alder deciding be one bc he feels like hes horrible at what his dad does #and maybe actually i wouldnt keep him as a medicine cat. idk why i dont like him being one but i dont. maybe ill see why later #but he decides its not for him and goes back to being a warrior without his dad breathing down his neck. #wait i was talking abt the shadowclan au. or he goes to shadowclan instead yippee #avos liveread

[sereniv]

.

#my grandma yet again blurted out something i rather bring up when im comfortable or when its actually relevant #'oh theyre part yaqui' and immediately im like...oh no why #and rosie her friend just looked so elated #and said 'you gotta get that money' #idk how she couldnt catch how uncomfortable i was because i couldnt hide it #grandma why u do this i tell you not to #she did this with being vegan and being trans #i dont want to talk about these things unless i know im comfortable or its relevant #its personal! im embarasses! im uncomfortable! #and then when i accept it and go to actually talk about how i feel and my connections and yknow #talk from the heart #then she gets distracted. rosie my grandmas friend does. and interupts me #and its like cool so that whole situation was juat to make me uncomfortable. and now im going to be thinking about it #happened when me being trans was brought up and me being aroace #interrupted. dont get to explain or anything #but fucking just 'get that money' made me so mad. and she was so in her own little world #i couldn't cover up how uncomfortable i was and she didnt even notice. #GOD she is insufferable sometimes. and the shit she said about homeless ppl #rosie not my grandma my grandma is fine just. likes bringing me up i guess #but i just have to sit there and nod and like i dont want to pretend like it doesnt bother me but i also dont want to say something #honestly it also just makes me sad. like #when i try to talk about oh im learning this or im contributing this or whatever even unrelated #like just in general i get interupted. that really doesnt help my complex about not being listened to lol! #anyway food was good but experience sucked #im still mad about the money thing idek why i was shocked. thats totally a rosie thing to think #and then she even tried to argue with me that I could enroll like. no i think i know #my dad can my cousin can my other cousin is. i cant. and even if i could its not just an easy decision #ans especially not based in fucking money. AUGH. glad she offered me pot like yes i need to chill #let me look at the fucking raccoon #her dog is super cute tho.