#idk how i feel about these so i’m posting them from a q

[pessimisticprincess]

hey 🙇🏻‍♀️

#forced myself to get out of bed since i couldnt sleep so now its not even 7am and i’m high as hell about to go grocery shopping lmao #idk how i feel about these so i’m posting them from a q #pictures with my glasses are so :/ but i literally always have them on #selfie #bisexual

[itzalizeyyy]

hii, its alizey here! In this blog, I have copied and pasted common questions and amazing great answers and explanations to those questions. I will credit every single answer to the right blogger. I strongly recommend to go check them out.

This is meant to decrease the frequent common questions being asked. If your question hasn’t been answered here, I am still trying to add more when I can but you can always ask me or other great non-dualism bloggers.

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Q&A

“Hey so lets say i become aware of sth i dislike. That doesn’t mean it exists if i don’t want it to? I can simply switch my awareness to being aware that it doesn’t exist?”

“consciousness doesnt dislike it, its ego that has opinions and dislikes things. if u i observe/become aware of it, it exists but it will never be real bc nothing is ever real. it “existing” is just you being aware of it its nothing serious. but yeah being aware of something else and not the thing that ego dislikes makes it not exist anymore” - @msperfect777

“What if I want to be an actor and then be in a relationship with a celebrity? I'm new in the non-dualism so idk too much.”

“imagine it. if u dont understand then read my non dualism series on my pinned post bc thats what its there for” - Msperfect777

“I have a df, and I'm confused bc in loa they tell you that you alr have it in the 4d and wait until it is reflected in the 3d, but in non dualism it's different, and it is difficult for me to understand, what if I imagine it but never look the way I want?”

“bc u think u are human and u think there is a separation of “4d” and “3d”. non dualism = there is no separation bc everything is consciousness (ur true self). ego is making it seem harder than it is bc its so used to “reflections” and “manifestation” and separations. read my non dualism series on my pinned post.” - msperfect777

“how did you learn about non dualism and why? are there any good sources to read when you start?”

“@infinite.ko on instagram is where my journey started. shes so helpful so go check her out. “ - Msperfect777

“How can I use non dualism to become aware of my dream life?”

“non dualism is just a concept. be aware of ur dream life the same way u are aware of these words. but in imagination. bc as u know everything is imagination.” - Msperfect777

“Ok so if I’m getting this correctly, I am consciousness which = imagination so I don’t need to do anything bc I’m aware that imagination is the only consciousness I feel like ghe way i typed it out doesn’t make sense but basically only imagination matters, not sure if I’m getting “

“EVERYTHING is imagination. imagining a phone and the phone “you” have in “your” hand rn in the “physical” are not different. the illusion is that they SEEM different bc one SEEMS more realer than the other. yes theres nothing to do bc u are always aware as awareness / consciousness.” - msperfect777

“why does the "physical reality" feel so much realer than when fulfilling something in our imagination if it's all the same? how do i become of aware the things in my imagination to feel as real as what my ego or human body is experiencing?”

“1) its an illusion. ego is programmed to think that “physical world” is more realer than imagination

2) how to become aware? ur aware of these words rn. the second part seems to me that u think u are a human and u want something to “reflect” from imagination to the “physical” … u havent understood non dualism yet

3) theres no “feeling”… feeling is unreal. everything is a dream, an illusion” - Msperfect777

“I have this mentality that I’m not everyone cause I feel worthless and not speical I can’t really accept that I’m god . Any advice ?”

“thats the ego‼️‼️ you “feel” worthless and “cant accept” your true self bc youre stuck identifying with the human/body/mind = false self. SNAP OUT OF IT. heres an example that i heard somewhere i forgot where: when you watch a movie, you know it is a movie bc you are outside of it. you are observing it. now what about the characters in the movie? they dont know its a movie bc they are not outside of it. they think they are just regular ppl and they dont see the truth, their true selfs: which is just characters in a movie. what about water? water doesnt know its water bc its not on the outside, in order to observe/become aware that it is water. tell me why we can see or be aware of the body? why can we be aware of thoughts and feelings? bc we are “outside” of it. thats not who we really are. we are consciousness which is only aware of the body/ego. its not who we really are. we are not the body; we are not human; we are awareness/consciousness/the observer. we only observe these feelings/body/ego. so why take them seriously? now that you know that the ego is false and the body is false and that your true identity is only the observer, choose to stop identifying and agreeing with your thoughts and ego. they arent real. silently observe those thoughts and feelings come and go bc as the observer, observing is your nature. theres no need to fight with these unreal, imaginary things right? know your true self and observe. “ -msperfect777

“i am everything, right? so if i want to be in a TV show being a specific character, i already am and i just have to be aware of it? but how could i be aware of something i want if i don't know how it is having/being that thing?”

“sounds like ego is over complicating it… u are aware of these words right now. do u have to “know how its like” observing these words to be aware of them? no bc being aware and observing is natural, thats ur true identity. imagine it and it exists instantly. any other thoughts or beliefs are unreal, illusionary ego.” - msperfect777

“i have dream last night and want to know what you think. about dreams!”

“dreams r unreal. an illusion just like the “waking” “physical” world.” - msperfect 777

“If i am aware of some desire i want in my human being. It will instantly show physically. But what if i don’t see it physically?”

“what is “physical”? for you do identify something as “physical” and worry about some reflection means you see duality and separation where there is none. everything is imagination. you want to see it “physically”? imagine it and it exists instantly. you are limiting yourself to this unreal “physical” world when everything is imagination either way. you havent fully understood non dualism yet.” - msperfect777

“I am a little confused. so like everything is consciousness right, so I am everything and everything is me. so is my human self also me? like when I say “I am happy” does it refer to the human self or my true self?”

“everything is a form of consciousness. the human false self is also a form of consciousness. let me break this down: everything is you but you are not everything. everything is you bc everything is a form of consciousness bc nothing can exists without you being aware of it first. so a cat is a form of consciousness. a cat is you. but you (consciousness) is not the cat. your true self is consciousness and you cannot be a form of consciousness bc consciousness itself is the only real thing. thats why forms of consciousness arent real and only exist when you become aware of them. consciousness = limitless bc you can be / imagine anything. forms of consciousness arent limitless bc they are just forms of you. they cant be limitless bc they are only illusion and therefore unreal. and yes everything is consciousness bc its all you. just wanted to clear that up hopefully its not too confusing. a form of consciousness is unreal while consciousness itself is all it can ever be. yet everything is consciousness (non duality). if thats too confusing to understand, its fine bc either way everything is consciousness. i just wanted to use ur question to mention that. the human self is a form of consciousness but it isnt your true identity (consciousness) bc it is only a form of consciousness. consciousness is naturally “happy” and naturally “peace” so i would say that when ego/human says “i am happy” that it refers to the human ego, not the real you.” -msperfect777

so if i already am immortal, could i never become old (appearance)? and i will literally never die? i have fear of even "manifesting" not physically aging and being immortal, I actually end up aging and dying. it's like so ???? yk idk how to explain

“you are worried about being the human body which you are not. consciousness does not get old. consciousness never dies. consciousness = ur true identity. having that fear is the ego. the ego isnt real and feelings arent real. the body ends up aging and dying which is ur false self… consciousness (ur true self) doesnt. again you are already limitless so if u want the body to not age, imagine it and its done.” -msperfect77

“Giving myself burger in my imagination doesn’t satisfy my hunger in 3D How is that the same? Like seriously not meaning to be rude but doesn’t make sense.”

“thats an illusion. ask yourself who thinks they are still hungry? the answer wouldnt even matter bc this is all not real. you are consciousness that is playing the role of a human being and for the body, it is natural that it eats like its natural for consciousness to be aware. it seems not the same bc ego takes “not satisfying hunger in the physical world” as an excuse for the “physical” being the “real reality” and therefore it thinks imagination and “physical world” are separate, even tho the body is only consciousness bc nothing can exist without u being aware of it first. and since consciousness = imagination, everything = imagination. including the body and the body still being hungry. its all illusion😍. ego just thinks the two situations “feel” different even tho it all exists within consciousness therefore only being consciousness. hope that makes sense. “ - Msperfect777

“perfect , i have a question. all the teachers and blogs say we are human beings, designed to live a human life. let's say I want to manifest being immortal, or for example a vampire, or even a literal goddess. it's possible? with all these lectures saying that we are designed to live a human life, i had this doubt”

“you are already immortal bc consciousness never died bc consciousness was never born. “dying” is an unreal concept for ego and ppl who sadly dont know theyre true selves. you want to be a vampire? imagine it. literally you are every experience ego has had. everything is consciousness = you are already “your” phone. these words are forms of you. the human body is a form of consciousness. the beach and the rain and a chocolate cake and the side walk are forms of you. since you are so limitless that you can take all those infinite forms, why not be a vampire or a goddess. you are infinite limitlessness. dont doubt that. and ppl saying you are designed to life a human life are limited. we take on the role of humans at first but you literally make the rules in your own game. be whatever you want. no one and nothing can stop you💀. dont listen to a teacher/blogger that makes you feel limited. you are meant to do whatever you want, play whatever game you want in whatever form. do it bc you can and thats the point of life. “ -msperfect777

“Not trying to be rude but , you as human not real so why do you eat? Why do you drink? Why do you care about your life since everything is not real?”

“1) i am consciousness disguised as a human being. human bodies have natural things like breathing, blinking, eating etc. those are natural for the human just like it is natural for consciousness to be the observer.

2) non dualism implies nothing is real and this is all an illusion so all this is a game that i get to shape. i can imagine anything and there it is instantly. i can remove and add things right away. the point to enjoy this illusion and have fun and realize that pain and suffering isnt real. since i play the role of a human being, “i” choose to keep the body going by breathing and eating bc those are natural for the body. and i will enjoy the game that is a projection of me (consciousness) which i can shape instantly.” Msperfect777

“This is a lot to take in lol. I’m rereading your series over and over again, but my question is how does it all relate back to loa and manifesting?”

“it has nothing to do with manifesting n loa. thats where ppl get confused im assuming bc loa ppl made it a “trend” so ppl think it has to do with manifesting. non dualism has to do with all of “life”. the point it so notice that “suffering” isnt real. that nothing is real and once you understand it, you will realize all this is just a game and everything is peace. understanding non dualism = everything is you. since everything is you, what is there to “manifest”? non dualism haters say that non dualism stems from loa when non dualism is an ancient concept while loa was known during the 1900s…. loa is like an ant compared to the whole earth when it comes to non dualism. if you try to mix them together, it wont make sense which is what happened in the past when non dualism was a “trend” in the loa community.” -msperfect777

“I know that I have my desired appearance but when I look in the mirror I see other appearance so what can I do?”

“You haven't grasped that the "physical" reality is not real and are waiting for something to materialize! You know you have it in imagination so there's no need to continue to look in the mirror and go "I don't see it yet. Cause at the end of the day it's your ego that "doesn't see it yet" and you are not the ego.” @iamthat-iam

“Hi, I (my ego or whatever) haven't fully understood non-dualism yet. so I want to continue with the law of assumption, self-concept, states, affirm and persist, I know that I am not trying to do this to change something, but that it is already like that, I do not affirm to obtain like when we think that something is going to happen and we affirm it but not for it to happen but because it will happen, thus understanding the manifestation, not to obtain it but because it is already mine and to change my concept of myself but now I feel that this does not work or is not real for not understanding non-dualism. I know that non-dualism is not loa pero igual me confunde todo.”

“Hey, it's totally fine if you don't understand non dualism yet! And it sounds like you understand law of assumption, not doing techniques to get things but understanding you already have it. If non dualism is making you confused, I would stop reading posts about it (and maybe law of assumption posts too) and just focus on having your desires already. “ -iamthat-iam

“What is the truth ? Is truth subjective and personal or objective? Am I the one who determines the truth and am I the one who controls the truth? Do ı have to listen to what teachers, masters, gurus, coaches tell Is it possible that I don't want to accept the teachings of teachers, masters, gurus and coaches as true and real and real? I don't accept the teachings of teachers, masters, gurus, coaches, etc. as true and real, can I do that? How do I recognize, accept and realize that I am the one true God? What do you mean by no desire? “

“Hi, so there is only one "objective truth", that being you decide what is true or not. All other "truths" are subjective. You are consciousness and consciousness is the only reality. People who believe in karma will experience karma, those who don't, will not. The people who do experience karma are consciousness of it existing. You don't have to accept what any teachers or gurus say, because you are the one who decides what the truth is. Accepting your true nature as God means to dis identify with your body, your mind and your ego (human identity) As God, consciousness, awareness, you already are everything, you are always fulfilled, complete and whole, therefore there's nothing to desire, all desires come from ego and the illusion of seperation. “-iamthat-iam

“Hiiii queen I’ve been reading your posts for the last two days and I get everything except the part where how can I change the experience of my human self? I get it that it’s all an Illusion but how do I change it”

“Hiii! The statement "it's an illusion" answers your own question! What experience is there to change, if it's not real to begin with? Anything about your ego's life that you wanted to change, has already happened and already exists within consciousness. You're not lacking anything! “ -iamthat-iam

“i feel like this is redundant but do you have any tips for accepting consciousness as reality? or is it just something that comes to you”

“When you daydream, sometimes you get so lost that when you "snap back" to "reality" you're like woah, I completely forgot where I was!”

“That's because the physical reality isn't real, it comes and goes, and it disappeared when you were daydreaming. In that moment that daydream was your reality because you were conscious of it. Test it out, get really lost in a daydream, and then notice how your awareness of the "physical" slowly fades. “ -iamthat-iam

“So all I have to do is imagine my desire and BAM I just experienced it? Since imagination is the only reality ... Imagine it and knowing that it really happened at the very moment when I imagined it and just go on my day without worrying or anything because that particular thing already happened , what wanted already is there THAT'S IT??”

Yes!! That's literally it! I think people aren't grasping how simple this is! Imagine once and it's DONE” -iamthat-iam

“I still feel unsure on nondualism. It’s just that I’ve been part of loa for so long. And I see so many success stories. But once I went through the nondualism posts, I see no success stories whatsoever. It’s just the same thing “OMG I UNDERSTAND NOW!” “I feel so calm” but never anything related to applying it for something they previously wanted. I get it’s not to “get” something, but I guess it’s just me still wanting proof or something.”

“You're going to see a lot of loa success stories because it is a results based practice, you go into it to achieve something so it's exciting when it shows up "physically!" In Non Dualism, the goal is to stop identifying with ego and realize that who you are is God, consciousness, awareness, etc. You see there's no seperation between you and anything so that means everything you once "desired" is already who you are. You never feel the sense of desire again because of this. So when the anons say they understand now and feel at peace, that is the success story. Any "physical materialization" that happens after will not seem like such a big deal, since it was already who they were to begin with. It's a life changing experience, maybe they are enjoying their newfound freedom and not going on social media as much to share "materialization" success stories, maybe they are just private, who knows. At the end of the day, it's something you are going to have try for yourself. The worst that could happen is not seeing your desires "physically" which is where you may or may not be at already! It's completely up to you 😊” -iamthat-iam

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LAST THOUGHTS

Now looking back at this, the AMOUNT of questions regarding the physical/manifestation is unreal. I am not saying again that it wrong to ask questions of course not !! I do it myself. It just that these questions already been answered by many bloggers. so please guys do your research, read as many blogs, and if it still doesn’t click, then that is when its reasonable to ask. But i feel like many aren’t putting in their part to learn, and just expect to have someone educate/inform them, when there are many MANY resources where you can get informed yourself. So please take your time to grasp it before asking. I rarely ask questions like maybe once or twice but that is because there are so many great blogs that have answered my questions perfectly. I am not saying you have to learn fast but reminding you to take advantage of the amazing resources out there!

Check this out to better understand:

Shoutout to @lains-reality for this wonderful blog !!

I also want this to be shared more!!!:

“Just to add. Usually when we daydream, we are in a state of hopelessly wishing we were that person in the daydream. We are fully immersed in it, while thinking we are the person daydreaming and not the person in the daydream. The simple fact that we call it a "daydream" is a statement that we believe that which we are experiencing in that moment, is but a mere fantasy. So yeah, you can daydream for years, and as long as it's still a daydream, it will remain a daydream... until you dare to identify as the person in the daydream and let go of the daydreamer who can only wish that were them.”

Shoutout to @napolonio for this wonderful input!!!

That is all i got for today. I will continue adding more Q&A by different bloggers when I can ! And as always, Happy non-dualing !

#non dualism #nondualism #non duality #nonduality #conciousness #observer

[strniohoeee]

Besotted

Pairing: Matt Sturniolo X Female Reader(chubby reader)

Synopsis: Y/N has a crush on Matt, but feels like he won’t like her back because of her physical appearance. What happens when Y/N talks about her experience with guys in LA on their podcast, and Matt gets upset🤭

Warnings⚠️: None….Idk how I feel about it. I felt like I couldn’t wrote it better, but also idk it’s my own brain picking myself apart🥹

Song for the imagine: Why Can’t I?-Liz Phair

Why can’t I breathe whenever I think about you?

Why can’t I speak whenever I talk about you?

I think the hardest thing about being a bigger girl was liking a guy. Always on this see saw of they could like me or they could find me disgusting. It hurt a lot, and what didn’t help was being in the social media light. Your appearance constantly being judged and critiqued

I tried to not let the hate get to me, but occasionally it did. However, having loving and supporting friends surrounding me made it better.

I had gotten close to the triplets within the last year and a half, and it’s been interesting. I had their fans either loving me or hating me, and at times it got hard, but the triplets helped me not think too much about it.

Matt helped me the most especially since I also had anxiety like him, him and I actually grew pretty close. I started to like him a lot, and because of societal standards I forced these feelings deep down.

I couldn’t fandom to face the rejection from him if I ever came to tell him how I felt. I knew Matt would never like someone like me. It’s nothing against him, that's just what he’s used to. Skinnier, prettier and all around better. I tried not to think this way, but it was hard when that’s all you see in the LA influencer world

My feelings for Matt grew more and more daily, and I was hurting myself by thinking he could like someone like me. I mean he could? Couldn’t he?

Today the triplets wanted to film a Q and A podcast for their channel, and they had asked me to join, so I agreed. They made a post last night asking for questions, and boy did they get a lot

I had gotten to the triplets house, and felt so nervous to answer questions to the public

“Hey Y/N” Nick said as I came up the stairs

“Hey guys” I said smiling at them

“I love your outfit” Matt said coming over to hug me

“Oh thanks” I said hugging him back

“Yeah you look cute” Nick said

“Came extra pretty today” Chris said snapping his fingers

“Enoughhh” I said laughing at them

I was wearing wide leg denim jeans with a fitted black shirt that said fuck off and black chunky sandals….nothing special,so their compliments were nice but made me question did they always look at my outfits and my appearance? My anxiety spiking

We had gone up to the podcast room, sitting in our seats and getting ready to film

“Okay welcome back campers I’m your host Nick Sturniolo”

“I’m Matt Sturniolo”

“And I’m Chris” Chris said giggling

“Today we have a special guest with us, our friend Y/N” Nick said

“Hiiii” I said into the mic and smiling at my camera

“You guys were begging for more videos with Y/N, so why not an hour long video with her” Nick said

“And to make it better we’re doing a Q and A, so we can get personal” Chris said

“Perfect! Getting personal online, my favorite” I said giggling

“Laura picked out these questions for us by the way, so we have no idea what we’re getting ourselves into” Matt said

“Without further ado let’s start” Nick said

“Okay so the first question is where do you see yourself in five years?” Chris asked

“Ouuu nice” Nick said

“In five years I hope to see myself still doing what I love which is filming videos, and just growing with my brothers as a whole” Nick said

“I hope in five years I’m settled down in a nice relationship, living my cabin life and making videos with these two” Matt said

“I like that, and not to be the same but I’d like to be doing exactly what I’m doing now in five years. Just growing with everyone I love surrounded by me” Chris said

“Nice answer” I said nodding my head him

“And for you?” Matt asked me

“I uh I think for me, in five years I’d like to be further in my career, you know. I’d also like to be in a better mental state whatever that looks like. I’d assume I’d like to be in a relationship at that point as well” I said nodding at Matt

“Those were great answers” Chris said

“Okay next one” Matt said

“So the fans want to know what is the most embarrassing interaction you’ve ever had with anybody” Nick said laughing

“We as a whole will not be answering that, but maybe Y/N might have something”Matt said looking at the camera

“The most embarrassing interaction I have I can not and will not say as it’s embarrassing on my part” I said laughing and shaking my head

“Awwww” Chris said

“Sorry guys, but that’s going to the grave with me” I said laughing

We had asked a few more questions, and suddenly Nick eyes brightened at the question he was reading

“I like this one! This is for Y/N. The viewers want to know what’s the dating scene for you right now. Are you seeing someone, are you interested in someone…what’s the tea” Nick said looking at me

“Oh god I’m in the hot seat” I said widening my eyes

“You sure are” Chris said

“Alright I’m about to be real vulnerable with yall. I am not seeing anyone right now, I’m not talking to anyone right now, but I do have someone in my mind that I like” I said giggling and covering my mouth

“Ouuuu tell us” Chris said

“Absolutely not” I said laughing

“But no, what I was saying is the dating scene in LA is trash all across the board. However it’s even worse for me because I am a bigger girl, and that’s already not accepted by society. So when you’re in the influencer scene and you live in LA you don’t meet the nicest guys. The amount of popular influencers who have messaged me telling me that they would never collab with me or ever be seen with me because of my physical appearance is absurd. It’s hard especially when you like a guy that you know wouldn’t like you back, you beat yourself up over it. Because at the end of the day we’re all humans and we all crave love and attention, and we’re told that if we don’t look a certain way we’re not deserving of that love. So the dating pool for me right now is trash” I said shrugging my shoulders

“You know that sucks, and it’s bullshit. I think the way that the media is is so fucked up. Forcing these young girls to think that they should be a specific way to find love or be “pretty” is insane” Nick said

“Yeah I agree! It’s like who fucking cares what someone looks like it’s about what’s on the inside” Chris said

“100%” Nick and Matt both said

“Okay this next question is similar to the last, this person said Y/N please tell us how you secure a man as a bigger girl, no offense at all I’m just genuinely scared of going after guys I like because I’m bigger myself” Chris read

“Oh no offense taken, to be honest I don’t know like I said I’m not in the dating scene right now, so I have no advice. I myself am scared to reach out to any guy I find attractive because of how mean these guys are. My biggest fear is rejection, and when I’ve been rejected by every guy you start to build up a wall in your heart, and it’s hard to stop that” I said

“So I have a personal question” Nick said

“Yeah” I said nodding my head

“Is there any specific type of guy that you do find has reached back out to you, or has messaged you and hasn’t cared about your appearance” he said

“To be honest no. Big guys, skinny guys, medium guys, buff guys, all guys in LA have made it known they don’t like me. Or they want to keep me on the low and it’s just not worth it to put myself through that pain” I said

“That shit pisses me off so much, like why does it matter what a girl looks like. If she’s a great person who’s got her head on right it shouldn’t matter what her body looks like” Matt said

“I agree” Chris said

“I would date any girl doesn’t matter if she’s bigger, smaller, shorter or taller as long as her morals are in line and she’s a great person I could care less” Matt said

“Tell us how you really feel” Nick said laughing

“It’s the truth. That’s what pissed me off about LA they all have this image, and if you don’t fit this image then you’re not worthy of anything, it’s just stupid as fuck” Matt said

“Bouncing off of what Matt said, I completely agree I’d date any girl. Like I’ve said in the past videos I love all women, doesn’t matter what you look like” Chris said

“That’s the other thing women would date these gross ass gremlins, and then one of these ugly ass guys would look at a beautiful woman and pick her apart, like I promise you she wouldn’t even look your way” Nick said laughing

“No I agree….men are just shallow you know. Not all men, but most are shallow and only care about looks” I said

“So Matt for the viewers, who would you date?” Chris asked

Matt looked at the camera

“I would date anybody, I would date Y/N” Matt said

“WOAHHHH” Nick said

“No I would. She’s got her head on right, her morals in line. She’s funny, nice and beautiful, and not once did I bring up her body because it doesn’t fucking matter” Matt said

“Matt’s getting bold” Chris said

“If I didn’t know Y/N and I walked past her on the street, or she slid in my dms. I would without a doubt ask her out” Matt said

“Honestly same, she’s someone I’d ask out too had I not known her” Chris said

“You guys are so sweet stop it” I said blushing

“What’s crazy is Y/N is literally both of theirs type, and I’m just now realizing this” Nick said laughing

“I appreciate you guys truly and understanding where I’m coming from. I love talking with you guys” I said

“We love keeping it real, and we love you” Chris said

“Alright campers that is it for todays podcast we love you all so very much, and if you want Y/N and Matt to go on a date like this video” Nick said laughing

“Shut up” I said playfully smacking him

“Edit this video of us, and I’ll take Y/N on a date first” Chris said laughing

“Oh don’t you both fight over me at once” I said laughing

We had ended the podcast, and headed back down to the living room sitting on the couch

“Would you actually go on a date with me” I asked Matt

“100% would” he said smiling at me

“Hmm” I said looking at him

“I mean, would you go on the date with me?” Matt asked shyly

“I would” I said looking over at him

“As a friend or?” He asked

“Well it’s a date, so it would be more with the intentions of eventually dating” I said smiling

“Oh” he said looking shocked, oh god did I fuck it up

“OH? THATS ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY” Nick screamed at his brother

“No im just trying to make sense of this” Matt said lookin at me

“The gears are moving” Chris said looking at Nick

“Do you like me back?” Matt finally asked me

“Like you? Matt I’m like head over heels for you. That’s why what you said up there….I need to know if it’s true because I don’t want to get my feelings hurt” I said to him

“No no I would never do that. Y/N I have liked you for so fucking long” Matt said smiling at me

“You like me?” I said pointing at myself

“How have you not seen it? This kid is practically drooling when he sees you” Chris said

“Shut up” Nick said to him

“I wasn’t sure that the feelings were mutual. I was honestly so scared to say anything” Matt said

“You scared? Matt I was petrified to even look at you. I was so scared that you were going to be just like the rest” I said shaking my head

“I would never be that way, that's not how I was raised. You’re a gorgeous girl and you’re funny and smart and nice, and I can keep going in the list of things I like about you” Matt said

“Matt I like you so fucking much you’re all I’ve ever wanted in a guy, so to know the feelings are mutual is really nice” I said smiling at him

“So you and me tomorrow night, 6pm for dinner?” Matt asked

“Yes I’d love that” I said smiling

Matt walked over to me, placing his hand out for me to grab, I grabbed it and I got up. He immediately pulled me in for a hug wrapping his arms around my waist

“This is so fucking cute I’m taking a picture” Chris said

He got up and stood basically in our faces to take the photo

“You weirdo back up” Matt said laughing

“Kiss kiss kiss kiss” Nick and Chris started chanting

Matt looked at me before I nodded, and he leaned in connecting our lips

“YESSSSS” Chris and Nick were screaming while Chris was recording us

The kiss with Matt was everything I hoped for and more. It was like a million butterfly’s and fireworks going off.

We had pulled away and I smiled shyly

“You’re so cute” Matt said pulling me in and putting his hand over my shoulder before kissing my forehead

“Okay guys we should take some photos for this weeks photo dump” Nick said

“Ouu yeah I agree and it’s golden hour right now we could do them outside” I said

“Love the way you think” Matt said winking at me

We had gone outside to take some pictures and posted them. Chris and Nick making Matt and I taking couple like photos for this weeks photo dump for the podcast

All I have to say is you never know until you try🥀

The End

Alright I hope you liked this one, and I’m not too sure how I feel about it LMAOO😭😭😭 but I struggle writing fluff and cute stuff I think? Idk man but I got a Chris smut coming out so hold onto your socks for that🖤🤭

-J💅🏽

#sturniolo triplets #sturniolo x reader #sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo triplets imagines #matt sturniolo #matthew sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo fanfic #Spotify

[timmie-p]

Ivan Interview translation

Ivan, the Next CF Star

Just two months after his debut, Ivan was selected as an ambassador for the famous luxury brand Q. Ivan is the first non-native 'pet human' to become an ambassador for Q. "Ivan's stoic yet playful visuals are perfect for capturing the diverse appeal of Q," said Q's chief designer.

Ivan, who recently topped the Alien Stage live voting, is being touted as the next big CF star after Luca. He's been inundated with requests from designers all over the world who want to put ads on his outfits. He has already collaborated with nine brands, all of them big brands. The public's attention is focused on how his growing popularity will affect the Alien stage.

Interview

Since the third round aired, it’s become very popular. Are you feeling the buzz?

Alien Stage is growing in popularity every day. Did the crew recognise me during the CF shoot? It's funny because at the beginning of the show, there weren't many people in the world who recognized me, and now there are so many people that I can't get through the streets by myself. (Laughs)

You’re currently ranked #78, at this rate top 20 is possible, isn’t it?

Thank you for your kind words. I'd love to keep the momentum going and make it to the top 20, but I'll leave the choice up to the masses.

You have a lot of titles that describe you, right? Do you have a favourite?

My favorite is "Blocell's #1 Brand Reputation" from a recent article. It makes me feel like all those days of photo shoots and commercials weren't in vain.

What do you think makes you unique?

I can think of more bad things than good (laughs), but, um… I think the thing that fans talk about a lot is my partial fang. I think I have a normal face, but there are many people who remember me for my fang.

What’s your secret to getting the best shots?

The day before my schedule, I study the brand I'm going to shoot for so that I can clearly understand the directions on set. Knowing the brand in detail is fundamental as a model. I also think it's important to make it a habit to take care of my body.

What is your ideal girlfriend? Lots of girls around the world want to know!

I don’t have a specific dream girl, I’ve never really thought about it. If I were to choose one…. No, I don’t have one. (Laughs)

Are you close with Till?

What’s your definition of “close”? (Laughs)

We’re just okay. Mediocre at best.

Let me ask you straight up. Do you think you can beat Till?

I don’t know… If you could perform as wildly as him, you might win too, right?

Say something to Till, your next opponent!

…..Keep it up?

read it for your own here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/ivan-interview-99972496

also i’m sure an official english version will be out soon i just like doing these lol

okay!!! i feel like vivinos is dropping red flags here but idk 🥺 ive already been theorising that ivan will be the one to lose and the audience here seems to support him too much..

i translated “힘내” previously as “Come on” in the snippet where till punched ivan but i think it makes more sense here to translate it as “Keep it up” (it’s just generally words of uplifting encouragement)

also for the part about his fang my translator translated that as “false teeth” and boy when i tell you i was confused 💀

also following up the question abt his dream girl immediately with a question about his relationship with till.. real subtle there… kinda makes me go uueeugguh tho

#alien stage #alnst ivan #official art #translations

[lezabeththetheodoraimposter]

“no one can know I can tell what people will manifest as!!” why not? ability detecting is basically torture. u could save sooo many elves so much wasted time. and just how do u think the neverseen will use this against u?? it’s literally useless to them. but it is useful to the elves. like SUPER useful. people can spend their whole lives training w their abilities before they even manifest. like omg keefe cmon

edit (I put this in a reblog but don’t feel like reexplaining it so I’m putting it here)

I get what ur saying about Keefe not wanting the council to exploit him and that having all those ppl go to him but I really think that’s the only good reason which is still a very good one bc it’s about what HE wants (but also think of terik who did it for a bit then stopped but occasionally does it for some people) tbh the only good reasons are Keefe just not wanting to and that’s fair. but honestly I’m talking about the use of the ability and how in the grand scheme and when Keefe is in a better mental place that it can be SOOOOOO useful and like when he’s past all this and is happy and healthy then I would say he should tell ppl about it even if he doesn’t open up to “readings”

with a ability training thing that was one of my main points (tho I did put it in the tags and those go away when u reblog 😒) but ability training is literally TORTURE. like they put these like 11 year old kids in burning hot rooms for hours hoping to trigger a froster… like that’s soooo unethical idk what the councils reasoning for that is. it’s literal child abuse and I’m not even kidding. its brushed off but omg wtf. and imagine going through all that only to discover you were talentless and all that was for nothing. like that would suck

and for the talentless. keefe not wanting to tell ppl they are talentless is a very valid and good reason, but aside from that I think his talent would be more helpful. bc it would give talentless ppl more time to grow up and adjust to the predugist (hate bc I can’t spell 😭) against the talentless. bc even though they would have to deal w it from birth, isn’t that better than living a normal life w friends then BAM one day ur talentless and all of ur friends stop hanging out w u. like ur WHOLE world would be flipped and it’s better to give the talentless more time to adjust to it imo.

also the schooling thing u meantioned is another reason knowing ur talentless form the start would be helpful. BECAUSE THE TALENTLESS ARE PULLED OUT IF FOXFIRE WHICH IS SOOOOO MESSED UPP. like they go to foxfire for like 3 years then the council is like “haha no ability? sucks for u lol! go off to a different school where u know no one and make different friends yk just forget ur whole life up to now haha” like WTF. (honestly the bigger problem here is how the talentless are treated but we already know that has to change so this is about how keefe can help).

also it could give “bad match” couples where one of them is talentless (like Kesler and juline) comfort to know their kid isn’t talentless. And if their kid is talentless then it saves them years from worrying over it and the suspense of it all. Also I just think knowing ur ability from childhood and being able to train for it before u even manifested would be soooo helpful

but in the end of the day yeah, keefe just not wanting to is the biggest thing. and I might be remembering incorrectly bc I haven’t read the book in forever but I remember something about keefe thinking he accidentally triggered the triplets abilities which would be more problematic but idk if I’m remembering it wrong. but I do think like years after kotlc ends (or when ever he feels ready) keefe should defo start using his ability for good. like it doesn’t have to be everybody. it can just be kids of q talentless parent(s) to help their parents out yk bc if two telepaths have a kid then it’s obvi going to be a telepath u don’t need keefe to tell u that

also the main point of the pre-editted post was about how he doesn’t want the NEVERSEEN to know bc he thinks they might be able to use it against his friends. like how. literally how? what use is it going to do them.

#bro it’s ur not special 🙄🙄 #but seriously think of how much it could help people #I mean yeah they could tell who would be talentless then but that means the talentless won’t have to go through ability detecting for nothi #like and they wouldn’t have to go to foxfire only to be kicked out and wil have more time to adjust to the fact they don’t have an ability #it could also save a lot of “bad match” couples years of stress over if their kids will develop #keefe sencen #kotlc fandom #kotlc

[pommunist]

after making the mistake of opening the qrts of the translation of what baghera said i am just. done. every single "bad" thing that's been going on with the admins situation lately just gets blamed on the hispanic community and at this point im just. tired. im done.

every single time a new development happens is always hispanics who are the toxic ones, the ones who are only hyper defensive, the onlyones who are attacking the ex-admins, the ccs, the union. it's always "hispanics".

i genuinely dont think that anyone really realizes how ostrazising that is even for those of us who are sympathetic for the ex-admins. or how it must feel for the hispanic admins who stayed.

i have seen hispanic people mention they feel ashamed of speaking spanish again because of feeling guilty, or how they feel that if they speak the same language as Q others will treat them badly. and i have even seen hispanic people talk about how they have been blocked by others here simply for explaining why others could see specific comments as xenophobia

hell if people tried to explain anything about that at that time people talked about how they were "trying to divert from the situation" or "attacking the admins personal morals", instead of actually sitting and wondering if something said could have been maybe worded better

it's kinda sad that the "sense of togetherness" or "community" that this situation has clearly brought to some people in this community has come to the cost of other members of this community slowly but surely just. stop feeling welcomed at all

and people truly dont even realize

idk at this point i just feel like im just an old man yelling at a cloud

Thanks for the clarifications ! Lets do a all min one post for clarity purposes here I hope it’s okay

Link to the tweet/thread you’ve mentioned :

https://x.com/bagheraenglish/status/1782841547580461499?s=46&t=fDVoT5qDN_AAqnxYhZF3uQ

This is a translation of this thread by Baghera :

https://x.com/baghera__jones/status/1782573062853971978?s=46&t=fDVoT5qDN_AAqnxYhZF3uQ

So this thread was made the day after Baghera had made a random comment about adding a translation mod to the french ccs smp if they were to play on it again.

When the updates account translated this part, some Q fans took her comment as mocking/being negative towards Q and/or the QSMP and started a hate wave against her (and against french qsmptwt accès who were trying to explain that the comment wasn’t negative + brazilian community was catching strays as well bc they always do for some reason).

I’ve looked at the comments and QRTs and haven’t seen people pointing out the whole hispanic community and blaming them for the situation but as you said this was like a week ago so tweets may have been deleted. Most people are blaming Q fans because fact of the matter is that they were the ones harassing her. This was also two days after Q fans were bullying sunny’s admin because she has said she was the one who gave sunny their personality. Plus the fact that in general, Q’s community has been extremely toxic since the start of the admins situation.

I’m generalising here when I say Q fans, obviously not all of them are being toxic or anything, and it sucks that I have to generalise but sadly the behaviour of a vocal part of his fandom has really reflected poorly on Q’s community.

However it’s unacceptable that people are using it to throw the whole hispanic community under the bus and being xenophobic. Absolute shitty behaviour and goes against every value this project is about ???? Literally does nothing other than spreading hate, breaking people apart plus it fails to identify who are the ones causing problems in the first place by lumping people who have done nothing wrong with them.

For the qsmpblr minecraft server I have literally no context about it don’t know anything about the server or the people in it so idk what to say really except that being driven out of a multicultural fan space because your concerns are being ignored really really sucks. I’d say try to address it with them or raise this issue publicly if u have to but I’m not in your shoes so idk if you would be comfortable/have the energy to do so.

(edit about the qblrsmp for unknowing ppl : apparently this is tied with other things that happened between anon and the other members so the story goes deep and is complex)

[smoshpvnk]

Damien x Shayne Ship Questions (2) (from @zillaphoneswag)

Who pulls the other closer while sleeping?

Damien

Who picks something up, says a pun with the object, then laughs as if it’s the funniest thing they ever heard?

Shayne

When one of them gets a new outfit, how does the other react?

Shayne probably knows about the outfit already because he is there during the steps to get to that point. (Damien is indecisive.) But the few times he does surprise him, Shayne showers him in praises and compliments. (I might write this…the suit with red and black tie he posted on his most recent birthday, RenFaire, D&D movie premiere) Shayne also likes the jewelry a lot.

Damien, being the more tactile one of the pair, is probably more on the side of being speechless and just wants to touch. How the fabric stretches around his skin, the slopes on his chest, he touches his jaw to stare into his eyes because he swears certain colors make them stand out. He tends to buy oversized clothes for comfort anyway, but is happy when they fit Shayne and he can see how he looks in them.

Who tries to playfully scare the other person and who always knows where the other person is?

1) Damien 2) Shayne

Who runs up and hugs their partner while the other catches them?

1) Shayne 2) Damien

(I’ll die with the Damien-can-carry-Shayne hc.)

Who presses their nose against their partner’s cheek before kissing them?

Damien

Who accidentally snorts when they laugh and it just makes both of them laugh harder?

Damien

What are some things they do for their partner because the other knows they hate it?

This is a hard one! I can see Damien not being dirty but being a lil messy just with like clutter (me…) so Shayne being a little better about it, just to avoid tiny arguments about never putting stuff back. But also Damien has OCD and I don’t so idk what that experience is completely like. Maybe Shayne catches on to how Damien likes things and fixes them before he can notice.

In the hc that they’ve moved in together, I can see Shayne setting up appointments for Damien because he hates it, and Damien taking care of the cats since Shayne isn’t used to it.

In the pleasant little AU where nothing could go wrong, they do everything for each other.

Who giggles uncontrollably when the other picks them up?

Shayne

When did they fall in love with each other?

This is debatable especially because of that one agree to disagree video, so to quote John Green, “I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once.”

(Like Damien catching on to little things about Shayne that he really likes and enjoys: his laugh, his smile, the lil stretch where he puts his hands on his forehead, predicting jokes…and getting that inner urge from his love language being touch of just wanting to hug and caress and poke and kiss and everything…again, tactile.)

I think for Shayne it would take a little longer, lots of self doubt and questioning. Based on this podcast, as well as the agree to disagree video I linked before, Shayne is very heavily demispec coded, both romantic and sexual. (I often have a hard time distinguishing crushes vs someone just paying attention to me, don’t date around because it sucks, have attachment/abandonment issues, don’t have a lot of experience…maybe I’m self projecting but I have felt like emotionally connected to Shayne in that way, like our views on things, anxiety etc. are very similar, that’s also why he’s one of my fave cast members. Oops tangent over-) Anyway, it would take him a little while to come out of his shell bc he would feel like a different person, then just realize their relationship has slowly been progressing into different territory anyway and just let himself enjoy it.

What was their first kiss like?

Ooh, there’s so many ways this could go. One in the middle of a monologue about how they feel about the other? A passionate movie kiss where everything just melts and they feel all warm and cozy in each other’s arms? A confession of feelings one? A quick one that seems accidental, one waiting for the other’s approval, then it turns into more? Or it doesn’t turn into more, and they have a long, emotional, sweet conversation afterwards? So many possibilities.

If they argue and there’s a silent treatment, who breaks it first, apologizing and begging for a hug?

Shayne (clingy!Shayne is another fave trope of mine)

Who makes the other blush without even trying and they find it super endearing?

Shayne (Damien’s already just a blushy guy)

How do they hold each other when the other asks to be held?

Damien - scoops Shayne up and carries him as long as he can, loves to feel him weighing down on him like a weighted blanket.

Shayne - can’t do much because of the height difference, will still initiate hugs from behind and stand on his tip toes to reach Damien’s shoulder, lets Damien use his chest as a pillow to lay on, etc. Any opportunity Shayne gets to seem like he can hold Damien, like if he’s taller in a chair while Damien’s sat on the floor and he can tackle him, he takes.

Who breaks out the first aid kit when one of them gets a paper cut?

Damien

Where did they first say “I love you?’”

Once their outside-of-work hangouts started to become much more frequent

Height difference or age difference?

Damien is slightly older and slightly taller.

Who likes to stargaze?

Both. Damien provides the space facts, Shayne provides the puns.

Who buys cereal for the prize inside?

Both nerds

How do they handle plane rides together?

Shayne likes the opportunity to read, Damien reads over his shoulder, leaning on him if he manages to fall asleep, if he does get nervous tics, Shayne picks up on it and is able to calm him down

Who accidentally becomes a meme?

Shayne

If they went to couples yoga, how would they do?

Shayne tries to take it seriously, but Damien squinting and tilting his head at questionable phrases/positions or staring at him in awe would be extremely distracting.

Who is in love with the other person’s laugh?

Both

Who would run a bath for the other person?

Damien

Who runs their thumb over the other person’s skin to comfort them?

Damien

Who covers the other person with a blanket when they fall asleep anywhere other than the bed?

Both

*NSFW: Skip to the first fluff headcanon if you don’t want to read it* (For me this is only from fanfic reading/writing experience, heads up for inaccuracies)

What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s happened to them during sex?

Knowing them; a funny noise, innuendo, one of them referencing a meme or tweet, or one having brain fog and forgetting what they were doing. I would hope that nothing would be so detrimental they never wanted to bring it up or be together again considering they literally joke wrote/read fanfic of them fucking.

What is the song they’d listen to during rough/hard/kinky sex?

Probably alt rock but I have absolutely no idea leave suggestions, please

What is the song they’d listen to while making love?

I hc 90’s R&B or Fleetwood Mac adjacent

Are they into roleplay or dress up during sex?

Nerds (a little, but it would be hard to take each other seriously. or it would be like Dio!Shayne, not Shayne is Dio)

Do they prefer sex in the tub or in the shower?

Shower

Is there anything they do together after sex?

If it’s after an intense d/s situation Damien is quick to bring in the aftercare elements. But mostly cuddle, talk, make each other laugh, sleep, maybe play a calming easy game like Stardew or Animal Crossing

What is something that will never fail to turn them on?

For Damien, I hc: Shayne dancing, working out, stretching (like showing midriff/happy trail), getting dressed/undressed, his chest.

For Shayne, I hc: Damien’s voice, hands/arms, ability to dirty talk, sensual gazes, certain touches that feel more than just playful, and real big acts of kindness that give Shayne that fuzzy feeling that turns into lust

What’s their favorite body part on the other?

^

*NSFW Over*

Who showers their pet with affection?

Damien

Who can lift the other up?

Damien

Who is better at Mario Kart?

Damien

Who is touch starved and while it’s funny at first the other realizes that their partner hasn’t had much physical affection in their life?

Damien

Who gets jealous easier?

Damien

Who feeds the ducks at the park?

Damien

#ship questions #shaymien #i will gladly do this five million more times they are so fun genuinely #rpf #shipping #prompts #headcanons #txt #p

[e-vay]

Evay QA Bulk Post 1

I’m working through my inbox but don’t want to drown y’all’s feed in my asks so I’m grouping as many together as I can. Q&A below:

MISC SONIC ASKS

Thank you so very much! I was trying to really combine both Amy and Sonic’s aesthetics. Amy is classy and design oriented so I wanted to keep that feel, but I wanted to show how their home would evolve once she and Sonic start living together. Sonic’s never canonically had a house, but he travels so much that I headcanon that he’s constantly collecting trinkets and souvenirs from all the places he’s visited. So I wanted to give them a very “worldly” design style. If you’re familiar with Uncharted 4, I picture Sonic and Amy’s house being very much like Nate and Elena’s beach house.

I love interior design and architecture but I’m not great at drawing it (yet). Once I improve I want to do a full layout of their house for my stories (and the future Shadora Fortress).

I really enjoyed the movies and I’m excited for the third! I hope they give Shadow a voice that’s deep and delicious and doesn’t sound like a sniveling villain. I don’t like it when they cast him with a very generic evil voice, I prefer it when he’s got depth. Honestly I’d be happy if they stuck with Ian Hanlin, he’s perfect to me. 

For the record, I absolutely love that game. Some of my favorite memories involve me and my best friend playing it. He ABSOLUTELY is an avid gun collector. I love seeing the memes of Shadow just rambling off about gun details. BUT HE KEEPS THAT CRAP LOCKED UP IN A SAFE AND UNLOADED AT ALL TIMES!!!!

At least for my stories he isn’t one to actually threaten to harm anybody for wanting to date his kids. He dealt with that enough trying to be with Aurora. But you can bet he won’t think anybody’s worthy to date his kids lol

First of all, I am ALWAYS down for Sonic singing his feelings. Like that is my #1 favorite thing in every story. Whenever he breaks out the guitar/lute I’m like “HELL YEAH LET’S DO THIS”

Secondly, that SONG omg!!! I’d never heard it before but wow 😭 I couldn’t love it more. I completely agree and thank you so much for sharing with me!

That is so funny that you say that. It was not my intention to make human Sonic look like RCS but honestly he is my favorite Sonic at this point so maybe it came out subliminally! Also I think Roger is just so damn handsome so I will take that as a compliment lol! 

SHIPPING ASKS

I do ship them but I don’t know about them having kids. I don’t really know those characters well enough to write family members for them and I wouldn’t want to do it wrong. Thank you!

I’m fine with any of your ships as long as it’s not with relatives. And as long as you keep my characters “in character” then that’s fine. 

Interesting! 🤔 I haven’t heard that pairing before but hey I’m certainly not going to tell you that you can’t ship them together. 

I loved Amy the minute I saw her so just from a superficial level I was like “These two are too cute together!” But I really fell in love with them when their story evolved and we got to see their dynamism in the games outside of just a cute little pink sprite in Sonic CD. And Sonic X really sealed the deal haha So many romantic moments between them in that show, God bless. 

Sonic and Amy were just making out, not anything more. Orbot and Cubot aren’t accustomed to seeing that so that’s why they reacted that way. 

I don’t have any plans on that at the moment. I like that universe and I especially loved how Sonic acted around her in it, but idk if I’ll make a comic about it. But I can never say never!

PERSONAL ASKS

I’m sorry to have worried you, but honestly I was okay while I was away. I went through a lot of major life events and I had lost my drawing mojo and was fighting to get it back. But now it’s back with a vengeance!

I plan on doing both. I know several amazing parents who do a wonderful job raising their kids and still follow their passion.

Thank you so much! I’m self-taught, but I’ve researched a lot of tutorials and references to help me improve over my life. The number one thing people need to study if they want to do comics or animations or anything is ANATOMY! You don’t have to take an anatomy class (I didn’t), but look up references and tutorials to learn how the spine works, how the muscles work, proportions, etc. Even if your characters don’t fall into the typical human form, you still need to understand skeletal structure and muscles. 

I’m not an avid listener but I do like some if her songs :)

I’m in the process of assembling that. There’s a lot so it’s taking time lol 

WILL YOU CONTINUE HHNF?

Yes I’m going to continue HHNF

AURORA ASKS

Thank you! Yes that’s pretty accurate. Their family is all about honesty and telling the truth, but younger Aurora doesn’t like to share all the details with Sonic because he’s so reactive with her and will quickly try to fix whatever the problem is and Aurora wants to learn to fix it herself. Amy is more willing to just listen to Aurora and offer advice if Aurora asks for it. Amy WANTS to beat up whoever is upsetting her daughter but she also knows the importance of learning how to fight for yourself so she wants Aurora to feel empowered to do that. 

Thank you! I hope you’re having a great day too! I think Amy is better at TALKING through feelings and Sonic’s better at the overall cheering up way of handling things. So as long as there’s nothing terribly awful bothering Aurora and she’s just feeling a little down, he’ll find ways to make her laugh. Sometimes that means walking in unexpectedly in a costume to shock her or dragging her out of the room to have a musical jam session together. 

Sonic’s also known to give people flowers when they’re sad in canon (he does this regularly in the games and in Sonic X), so he’ll bring her bright, colorful flowers to make her smile. 

In my AU, Eggman has already kind of peaked by the time of Boom!Baby. He’s softened a lot and isn’t interested so much in world domination as he just wants attention lol. Having Sage and becoming a father further helped me justify that with my AU. 

He's also particularly sentimental towards Aurora since he helped deliver her, so he doesn’t really fight the team anymore. He is more like a constant pain in their sides mucking things up. 

Sonic team is busy fighting other, newer foes in my AU.

Their biggest challenge is going to be the Time Travel comic that I haven’t completed yet. It’s hardest because not only will lives be put on the line, but it also touches on trust and when to let go. I’m sorry I can’t give you a more detailed answer yet but I don’t want to spoil the plot! And thank you so much! 

MISC ASKS RELATED TO MY AU

Yes I just need to draw them. There are so many dang Sonic characters hahaha

It’s VERY important to Aurora for her parents to give their blessing, so Shadow will honor that and ask them for it. I already know how and when he’s going to do it, but I can’t spoil it for you yet! 😉

They’ve had three litters. I headcanon that back in the day hedgehogs used to have litters (2 or more kids) all the time but that became less and less common in modern day. But I also headcanon that as the Ultimate Lifeform, Shadow was engineered to be able to… multiply effectively. So even though they’ve only been pregnant 3 times, they keep having triplets or twins. 

I do consider the First Kiss comic canon to my AU. But it happened a while before My Gal, maybe like a year or so before. Give them time to stew on that kiss hehehe

They just wanted to make a life change. The stars just happened to align at the same time haha

All the kids’ names are supposed to be based on their personalities or powers. Most Sonic characters are named that way, so I don’t know if it’s canon for Mobian parents to sense what their kid’s powers will be or not. Aurora has dreams that sometimes give her premonitions so she had inklings to what their kids might be like so she and Shadow could brainstorm ideas based on that. Also a lot of their names are outer-space-related or at least outer-space-adjacent and that was because Shadow’s a space man lol So he had influence in that. 

Sonic wants all his descendants named Sonic II so he’s no help lol. 

Thanks, I’m happy you like it! 

There are 3 litters. The first litter has the triplets Piper, Zane and Nova. The second litter was born almost a year and a half later and has the twins Aster and Blitz. The third litter was immediately after and that has the triplets Cinder, Diamond and Boon. All this information is listed in their character reference post. 

In the beginning the family mostly just stuck to ordering online and getting home deliveries lol. But if they do have to do a grocery store run it’s a full family event. The kids all ride on Shadow (see this post). Their house has two fridges to accommodate for all the mouths to feed!

Their life certainly isn’t boring anymore 😂 It’s exhausting but they’re happy (also there are 8 kids haha!)

Thank you so much, it’s good to be back!

Aurora definitely would have asked him about this, but at least in my stories Sonic became an orphan at a young age and I don’t have him with any siblings. 

I’ve had another person ask me who I picture Sonic’s parents as and I do plan on drawing a reference of them, but they’ll be unique to my stories. They won’t be from any other Sonic media. 

I don’t draw Aleena, Manic and Sonia because of a couple reasons. I never watched Sonic Underground so I don’t have the allegiance/nostalgia that a lot of people have to that show. Also for my own preference, I don’t like the idea of Sonic being born to royalty. It doesn’t suit him, in my opinion. That doesn’t mean I don’t respect people who have that as a part of their canon and it doesn’t mean I have any bad feelings towards the Underground characters. I just don’t draw them. I grew up on the games and later Sonic X and Sonic Boom so my stories revolve around what I know. 

It’s funny that you mention that ship because I only just learned about it from Starrjoy’s P!AU comic. Again I didn’t watch Sonic Underground so I don’t know who Bernadette is, but sure I’m down for Sonic having two moms. Families come in all shapes and sizes, so as long as they’re a loving parent or parents then I support it. 

They love all their grandkids and they love spending time with them, but I think in their older age Sonic and Amy go off on more adventures again. They never stopped adventuring, but they settled down a bit while raising Aurora. Now they’re relishing a second wind and they’re frequently going on worldly explorations.  

But they always make sure to attend any events the kids are involved with and are always home on Sundays for family dinner. Sunday night is dinner at Grandma and Grandpa’s! <— I have them always having dinner at their house on Sundays even before Aurora and Shadow have kids

To be honest, I never felt like they needed more. I had a comic where they discussed it hypothetically, but they’re content with just having the one kid. (Don’t worry, just because they’re not having kids does NOT mean they aren’t… active 😈 They’re very VERY much so!). I am okay with fan stories where people give Aurora siblings and there’s a fic I’m reading right now that involves Sonic and Amy having a whoopsie baby way late in life and adult Aurora is having to deal with that and I love it lol. But just for my own writing, it’s a single-child household. 

#ask me #evayQA #sonic trash #my au #headcanons #my headcanons #long post #Masterpost #masterask #bulk qa #masterqa

[majorbaby]

Re: Your Retention Please MASH writers I am once again asking, have you even met Maxwell Q. Klinger?

Honestly, I think it’s a fair question because we see Klinger take on a lot of things that are cast off by other characters (gay banter with Hawkeye post-s3, being the dog one pets once Radar is gone, occasionally the buttmonkeyism that I enjoyed when it was Frank on the receiving end) or he’s molded to fit whatever agenda the show needs because while Klinger the character isn’t expendable, his characterization certainly is. This is how you end up with all of these late-seasons Klinger subplots and traits that either completely contradict everything we know about him or tbh, outright play into racial stereotypes. Like when he’s all of sudden really into  money-making schemes, or the weird friendship he strikes up with his exploitative boss, or when he takes a lot of racist, classist abuse from other characters (usually from Charles and sometimes Potter, but everyone gets a turn) lying down. This is the man who got into a fist-fight with Frank and then afterwards came back with a grenade to blow him up after Frank told him he couldn’t wear his lucky scarf. 

This disregard for his character is how you start off with Klinger in a dress*, gun-toting, back-talking, practically fire-breathing (and hella risk-taking, considering he is a Corporal) all over Majors Burns and Houlihan in the early years and end up at Your Retention Please. 

*I’ve read that Klinger stopped wearing dresses at Jamie Farr’s request which, while I respect his reasoning for that, I still feel we the audience and Klinger the character deserved a mourning period and a damn good, in-universe reason for him to have suddenly flipped like that especially after we saw the effect wearing the uniform has on him in Change of Command. 

Though he may not have the emotional weight that comes with being a drafted doctor forced to fix people up just to send them out to get hurt worse or possibly die, his belief in the utter uselessness of the army is indistinguishable from Hawkeye and Trapper’s (BJ too, but by the time he’s settled in, the army is in the crosshairs less and less and the Klinger character starts to waver) and anyway he’s affected by having been drafted in his own personal and no less tragic way. 

I’m on board with the way the recruiter goes after Klinger. First off, he goes after everyone. Secondly, it’s a common recruiting tactic, to this day, to go after the disenfranchised, the destitute and the desperate, particularly when those traits intersect with race. So there’s some realism in how hard the recruiter goes after Klinger - however, while I know that, these writers likely do not. There’s no race awareness going on. Par for the course. 

And let’s talk about that scene  with the recruiter for a moment: the slow music that sounds to me just the slightest bit sleazy. The way the recruiter doesn’t just offer a drink, he takes the empty glass from Klinger and places a full one in his hand and then he puts his arm around Klinger and leads him to sit down. The repeated closeups: the recruiter’s smile showing off his yellowed or missing teeth (nothing wrong with having imperfect teeth and idk if it was intentional, but it’s a common physical trait for a villain) and Klinger’s clearly zonked out expression. Klinger says, “You’re right... who are you.” and the recruiter responds again by being overly familiar, saying they’re buddies and that the army is his friend and family. Like if nothing else, I’ll give them this - there were numerous ways for us to read that this guy is a predator. It was appropriately unsettling, but my praise ends there. 

Maybe I could buy that Klinger might drunkenly agree to sign up Nope. I started typing it out and I got midway before I decided I would finish and then cross it out for dramatic effect. 

The writers forgot who main-cast member Klinger is yet I’m supposed to remember who Laverne is and believe that Klinger is so broken up about her leaving him after she’s already left him (3 seasons ago! hello???) that he decides to do something as drastic as signing up for the army, whether he’s drunk as a skunk or stone cold sober? I don’t buy it. I don’t buy it anymore than I would if it were Hawkeye in that position, but they figured it was easy enough to do such a thing to Klinger. I think he (Klinger) gets this plot because it can’t be given to Hawkeye, BJ or Charles, which is funny because one of those three flew off the handle when his wife got a job, so if there’s anyone I could see doing something very drastic (though, tbf, even then not as drastic as re-enlisting) if his wife were to leave him, it’s not Klinger.

Klinger wants to go home but he’s not overly specific about why. He doesn’t have the same attachment to Laverne as BJ does to Peg - he’s not cheating on Laverne but he says about as much about her as Trapper does about Louise. In addition to wanting to be home, I think Klinger, like Hawkeye, is philosophically opposed to war.

He has that very touching scene in War of Nerves where he’s actually given space to tell us why he doesn’t want to be in the army - and it’s way more essential than just ‘I want to go home’ - he does want to go home, but he also doesn’t want to be given orders to do something that would violate his beliefs and he works tirelessly to try to avoid that fate.  

In his dresses for 7 years, he’s a walking a protest, or as Sidney aptly puts it, “a monument to hope in size 12 pumps”. He does not believe in the mission of the army, opposes its authority over him and how powerless it renders him as people die around him - who does that remind you of? If you had to call any other character “a monument to hope”?

The other characters on the show are to different degrees opposed to war, with the exception of Frank but consider their reasoning - Margaret and Potter find the army fulfilling but are morally opposed to war, Charles is opposed to his life having been interrupted by the draft, BJ shows a great deal of compassion towards the wounded but his resentment towards the army also comes from how he’s been taken from his family (not a dig at BJ, completely valid for him to feel that way, it’s just different from what Hawkeye feels) and finally Hawkeye is opposed to the army I suspect long before he’s drafted and remains that way long after he goes home. 

Getting back to Your Retention Please, I have to pass on setting up Potter and Hawkeye to “rescue” Klinger from his bad decision. Hawkeye I’ll let slide - I have my reservations about the white saviour-y undertones but I’m more fine with Hawkeye being the (white) saviour here than I am with Potter, the regular army guy, getting to be the hero and undermining the anti-military message. 

And finally, i can’t accept this at all because we already have an in-character example of Klinger’s reaction to Laverne actually leaving him in Mail Call 3 - he deserts. He returns, blessedly not because he wants to ‘do the right thing’, but rather because he doesn’t want to be a fugitive. The icing on the cake is him declaring that when he does leave the army it’ll be the honourable way, via Section 8 - that’s Klinger!

Have you ever been upset that Larry Gelbart trolling-ly suggested that Hawkeye would become a right winger post-war? That’s how I feel about this episode and the difference is it actually happened, they really did that to Klinger. He deserved better. 

#long post #mash #race on mash #max klinger #klinger meta #majorbaby.txt

[mitsies]

Hi!! Hello—I hope you don’t think I’m stalkerish, but I’m the author of Intrinsic Warmth and I came across your tumblr and oh my gosh I just wanted to say thank you ??? This is insane

I am so incredibly honoured (???) that you think so highly of my silly little Gojo fanfiction. Like, genuinely. Its description in your rec list nearly made me cry—it is so flattering and so ridiculous to me that people actually enjoy my little side hobby (which is IW)?? I write it with nowhere near the dedication that some ao3 authors do—I’m a hobby busybody as well as a school neek, which is why updates take so long!!!—and so I literally do not expect people to stick around to follow it, like, at all. And the fact that people do?? And that they look forward to updates??! I feel like I’m repeating myself but I’m genuinely in shock.

I’m trying to think of coherent things to say but I am struggling so hard, oh my gosh. I genuinely cannot convey how baffling it is to see people talking about IW in a way not directed specifically at me, like comments, or something (which is another thing!! The fact that someone—like, *you*!!—has put my fic on a REC LIST?!?! INSANE!!! *I* use rec lists! All the time!! Wtf?!?! Being put on a rec list, that’s for real ao3 authors, and I’m just someone who writes on ao3, man! Insane. Truly insane). So you know, this has been sent to the girls’ groupchat because I needed someone to freak out about it to.

I don’t even know what to say. I saw a post you made about saving IW in case ao3 went down again?? Firstly, I can assure you that ao3 is in no danger and that it’s not going anywhere—but dude, if for whatever reason some random bloody nuclear disaster doomsday apocalypse happens and it does go down, I will literally send you the latest chapters direct >:) Do not fear. Truly the least I can do, my lord.

Jesus, I feel like I need to do something! Like, is there something you want from me?? LMAO. I feel like a poser. It’s like at the end of 2013 wattpad stories where the author would host a q&a with their characters / themself. Can I answer some cool elusive question over here on tumblr?? IDK. I have no idea but I just want to show my thanks for genuinely making my week, good lord.

I think I’ve conveyed how bloody insane this is for me. I’m truly so grateful. This is wild. You’re the best. Thank you so much.

oh my GOSH. i just want to start this off by saying .. this is so embarrassing for me. holy SHIT this is embarrassing — and insane, of course, and shocking, and so so many things but i am so sorry you had to watch me fangirl 25/8 over your work.

right now how i'm feeling could best be described as a cult leader (because i think i've started a small cult in your name.. sorry) whose like deity has come down in human form to speak to them for the first time. like this is so insane, i can't fully verbalise how crazy getting this ask is 😭 in case you havent picked up im a big fan!! i know i sound absolutely insane rn and i sincerely hope i don't sound as big of an idiot as i feel but i have quite literally sent voice notes upwards of 20 minutes to my friend about your work like i am SUCH a fan

i have received so many asks, messages, dms of people who have read IW at my recommendation and it is so fully deserved :,) you are such an insanely talented wordsmith and i don't think i've ever read a fic that conveys characters in such depth and with that level of emotional complexity. i admire you and your writing so insanely much, honestly in the least weird, least crazy, least stalker way possible you are such an inspiration to me in my own writing — you are so eloquent and verbose, in a way i aspire to be !! so you're not only a fantastic writer but you're a baseline, inspiration, & motivator, and i can't thank you enough for that

i genuinely believe that intrinsic warmth is one of the most amazing things i've read on ao3, and my fav fic work overall like ever forever and ever like honestly i could be dead in the ground 6ft under and halfway to hell and i'd still find time for my monthly reread 😭😭 it's absolutely insane that you say this makes your week because oh my gosh, i will be thinking about this for the rest of the month. might even add "thatdesklamp noticed xx" to my bio for good measure ! honest to god in my silly little head u are a celebrity and im like a crazy fangirl jumping at ur feet like a chihuahua or something .. would literally jump off a bridge if you asked me to !

with all that being said, i don't think i am graceful enough to convey the absolute adoration i hold for you and your writing. like wow. like holy shit like woooow wow. that's all i've got left in me — you are amazing, i hope you know that . welcome to tumblr, trust that this will likely not be the last u hear of my fangirling :,) SO MUCH LOVE!

#don't even worry because this ask went straight to my gc so i could rave abt you even more #you ARE a real ao3 author are u kidding and in my humble unbiased opinion u are one of the best #im still in shock and will take 3-7 days to come out of a catatonic state rn so excuse this half-hearted response u deserve the world #mitz asks #TLDR: im ur biggest fan.

[good7luck]

My rough theory on Haibara & the supporting character woman in Detective Conan Movie 26: Kurogane no Submarine

The Reason Why Haibara Was Crying In Tears & More

feat. my own made-up assumptions & delusions XD

* mainly based on the official preview videos, NOT the actual movie!

* Note: I originally wished to make this post earlier and more organized, but time flied OTL and now the movie is already at theater in Japan XD I think I will NOT try to read the movie spoilers (by fans) myself anytime soon, though..!

.

First, we all know Haibara = Shiho = Sherry is the main character for this movie, who is an ex-BO member, who lost her big sister Akemi.

Apparently her name is Naomi Argento, so I��ll call her just Naomi!

The very “supporting” character that appears in the previews more often than Ran and the Detective Boys trio... I wonder why! So suspicious :’))

To me, Naomi feels like Akemi & Elena Miyano, Haibara’s big sister & mother. At first, I didn’t know her name was Naomi, and now there’s even more similarity with Akemi & Elena asdfg

The Europol woman who was killed (probably) by Gin has the (almost) same hair color & forelock as Naomi’s, so they might be “related”...as (bio) sisters :’)))

Maybe, the murdered Europol woman is Naomi’s big sis. The engineer Naomi developed the new system related to the security camera & face authentication in order to find out who killed her big sis - so that she could take revenge on the culprit(s) - Black Organization = BO. However, the BO obviously hated the new system already. That’s why BO kidnapped the engineer Naomi, and the battle or war came to begin.

I’m kinda 50:50 (lol) if Naomi = Pinga (the new BO member to die for this movie) or not. I mean, Pinga seems to have some similar hair color (& braid) to Naomi’s...idk XD

Besides, Pinga appears in the movie poster, even if s/he barely appears in the previews...while Naomi isn’t(?) in the poster, even if she appears in the previews quite a LOT (again, more often than Ran!). It looks like Naomi is even staying together with Haibara after both got kidnapped. I know the new BO member is more important than some supporting character, but still lol

(yeah, I think that’s Naomi on the upper right!)

If Naomi = Pinga, then Naomi & Haibara would share even more parallels - the active BO member now totally betrays BO after their big sis got murdered by BO. This adds even more dramatic elements, so I high-key wish it happen for real tbh :’)))

Vermouth knocked Naomi out and stole some secret info from her, without killing her right away. But it might be that Pinga was very secretive like Vermouth or RUM, and so BO members never knew Pinga’s daily or real face = Naomi. If this is true, then Naomi was so unfortunate that she got picked up as the targeted engineer? asdfg Or it’s just destined to happen at some point from the start, cuz the new system is that dangerous and threatening to BO...

Q. But, if Naomi = Pinga, then how about her own face getting recognized by the new system...?

A. I have no idea :’))) She’s the engineer for it, so maybe she exceptionally corrupted some data in regards to herself with the administrator mode? Ooops XD

Maybe here Naomi is ranting to Haibara about how much she wanted to take revenge on Gin and destroy BO for her big sis’ death on her own (the new system), how frustrating it is that her plan got completely ruined, and that there’s no hope left now, cuz BO kidnapped them to kill them soon. She probably thought Haibara could never understand her feelings, oops :’)

There’re some lines from Haibara in the previews, like “I’ve changed...so, have faith!”, as if...she’s trying to encourage “someone” that a BO member is still able to make a choice to change their life for the better in the light, no longer living as a criminal in darkness, or such :’))

I mean, current Haibara is supposed to be (acting like) a 7 years old “kid” and hide her actual identity from almost everyone else. I genuinely don’t see why she would say that kind of line to “a non-BO, ordinary person” who she just met as fellow kidnapped victims, much less to any of the few people who already know her true identity.

To persuade Naomi who gave up, Haibara revealed her personal backstories in regards to her own big sis and parents. And how much her life has changed thanks to Agatha, Conan = Shinichi, Ran, the Detective Boys trio, and so on. And how OP Conan is XD that they, especially Conan, would never give up on her and would definitely come to save her, no matter what. Naomi quickly understands in regards to Conan cuz that young boy suspiciously dodged the new system too well, perhaps XD

In fact, Haibara low-key gave up, too, after getting kidnapped (”Bye-bye...Edogawa Conan-kun.”). But she was not alone there, really, and Naomi in despair reminded of her past depressed self and also how she still has been saved by others several times. Now Naomi got impressed to see the girl being genuinely hopeful in a serious manner, even if she looks / is much younger than herself.

After their long and deep talk, Naomi finally agrees to cooperate with Haibara and try to get out of there “alive” together. Two is better than one, and doing something to survive is better than doing nothing but just waiting for death, right? Not to mention both used to be BO members and so have some more than zero(0) (lol) info and knowledge about BO! Once they get to meet Conan, Naomi might be protected by FBI or such (and/or live in the Kudo residence with Subaru = Akai XD near Haibara’s current home ;w;).

However...of course it’s not easy to run away from BO and their traps, after all, especially when even RUM is actively involved. At some point, only one of the two could possibly survive in some super evil situation, and Naomi sacrifices herself to protect Haibara, so that Haibara would not die right there.

If Naomi betrays Haibara and makes her die alone, then both will simply get to die in vain, and she knows it. Even if Naomi alone survives and escapes somehow, realistically she (probably, oops) has NO remaining family members or friends or colleagues she can safely rely on right away, much less against BO - unlike current Haibara, who has her safe place and kind people to go back to.

Besides, Haibara and her ally Conan have some amazing / potential colleagues from Shinichi’s own OP parents, the great(?) detective Kogoro, Japanese Police, FBI, CIA, MI6 (soon lol), etc etc, who could actually stand against BO. That’s why Naomi decided to leave everything to Haibara - even the revenge on BO. Naomi entrusted her life to Haibara, and Haibara is of course so sad :( She got attached to her, only to lose her so soon, because of BO again :((

(This crying scene might be when Haibara just realized she got kidnapped by BO, but shhh XD)

# Naomi was like Haibara herself - she was an active & capable member of BO, but she got mad at Gin/BO for killing her big sis, and so she fully betrayed BO in the end. The two could’ve been not only great colleagues but also close friends and even semi-family sisters who share such a similar life...

It might be also that both didn’t really realize their product (APTX4869 / the new system) would cause the horrible chaos in the world that much until it’s too late.

# Naomi was like the big sis Akemi - she’s (probably) older than teenager Haibara/Shiho, so she might start to see Haibara like a little sister. And/or Haibara sees Akemi from Naomi first, more and more (strong and weak, smiling, actually kind, etc). Naomi eventually died to save Haibara from BO - similar to Akemi, who tried to take Haibara out of BO.

Haibara might scream “Big sis!!!” out loud, and Naomi would get surprised and smile at her “like an angel”, right before she dies or they get separated, possibly ;_;

# Naomi was like the mother Elena or an aunt - she’s probably in 20s or 30s, and her big sis might be in 30s (or 40s?), while Haibara is in like 7 years old body. If Naomi’s big sis lived an average ordinary life, she might’ve had a child of that age, and then Naomi would’ve been an aunt for the child. Haibara was like a niece to Naomi because of the body age gap, which made her even more protective of her. Or even like her own child, if she were not a criminal.

Naomi might leave some last words of advice and encouragement to Haibara - “like a mother”; don’t push everyone else from yourself, don’t try to do everything by yourself alone (like I did), get along with good people (like you’ve been recently), go survive and fight & punch BO in some way (for yourself and me) together with Conan, achieve an ordinary happy long life, and such, perhaps.

...and Haibara did her absolute best as much as possible indeed, not only for herself but also not to make Naomi’s will meaningless. She struggled and almost despaired in the last minute, cuz at that point she’s alone and reached her (physical) limit - until Conan came to rescue and finally found her (= no longer alone).

Haibara reunited with Ran, who is like Akemi or “an angelic big sis” but never going to die.

I wondered for a second if the color is orange overall here because of the sunset in the early evening - but nope, it’s probably from all the fire in the background asdfg The introduced cool facility and ships got exploded and wrecked again XD My point is, I believe this scene is from the ending part = at night / dawn, after Haibara got rescued by Conan and almost everything got wrapped up somehow. (maybe) Ran is hugging Haibara tightly like that, and Haibara is making such emotional faces.

PS. I’m so curious if Haibara would actually take the APTX4869 pill = become an adult(?) and wear dead Naomi’s clothes for hours...or maybe the staff low-key deceived us, and she never takes any pill lol XP

PS. I read some complaints (long ago, not Tumblr) if both Akai and Amuro really had to appear (again) even in the movie where Haibara is supposed to be the main. But, when you think about it...both are deeply related to Akemi; Akai & Akemi were tragic lovers and cousins, and Amuro & Akemi were childhood friends. Additionally, Akai is watching & protecting Haibara now, and Amuro recently(?) tried to “take”(...) her under his wings, out of BO, even if now he thinks she died then.

PS. If my guesses were so wrong here, then welp, my guesses were wrong, I guess uwu XP

Thanks for reading my long, incoherent ramblings!! :D

#detective conan #meitantei conan #dcmk #detective conan movie 26 #detective conan movie #kurogane no submarine #dcmk spoilers #detective conan spoilers #detective conan movie spoilers #case closed #ai haibara #haibara ai #miyano shiho #shiho miyano #dcmk sherry #black organization #naomi argento #my theory #my writing #good7luck

[ahundredtimesover]

omg i didn’t think you’d answer my ask HAJSHSJSKS cue the kilig feeling 🥰 everything i know about basketball, learned unwillingly cos of my kuyas and tatay who changed the channel whenever there was a san miguel/tnt/lakers ateneo game PLUS they made me watch slam dunk din so every time yoongi mentions that my eye twitches cos *war flashbacks to when i wanna watch my cartoons*

but i’ve come to terms with the trauma EME 😭 jk lang it actually helped when i started writing for my uni’s publication and covered basketball games. sa uaap, i’m also really a fan of admu kahit di ako atenista HAHAHHAJSKSJS and yes that doug kramer clutch—one of the highlights of the entire uaap tbvh. i can’t imagine witnessing that LIVE. iba na rin uaap ngayon eh. (and ph basketball in general. sad na wala na yung hype masyado which i’m not surprised at all given how problematic the players are like???? sighs. toxic masculinity ew—theory q lang naman tho)

your writing is AMAZING pls like i’m not even kidding. you’re seriously one of the best writers across all platforms bc you can truly see and feel the effort you put in making your stories and dare i say you also don’t make your audience feel dumb (i can make a whole other 10-page essay about this PLS pero wag muna) and respect them by creating all these nuanced and character-driven stories (which is SO hard to find). i’m rereading “a still day or a hurricane” as a law girlie now 🥺

i hope the stories never stop forming in your head and i hope you experience so many great things in life that will inspire you to continue writing for many years to come cos who says there’s an age limit in writing fanfics???? 🧐 but also don’t forget to take care of yourself, ate mimi (yie ate 🥹). stay hydrated in this god awful heat!!! baka dumalas ako sa inbox mo i’m SORRY

- coj 🩵

Hiii I am here! Late to reply but I'm here! And lolll a usual story! It often starts with the men haha. My dad was a huge fan, too, so our TV always had basketball on. But I've come to love the sport even as a spectator! Whereas you've come to use it as a journalist nakkssss 😌😌 hahaha but true. PH basketball is sooo different now. I think it's also the culture. I can't even keep up with the conferences and the players and stuff. Nice to know my UAAP heroes are thriving but it's just not the same.

As for your lovely words... THANK YOU. 🥹 I'm such a context person in that I like exploring the why's of people - why they do what they do and say what they say. It always comes from somewhere, and a lot of it is fear. It's such a human feeling, so is desire. But I love writing about love, too, and that itself is complicated and beautiful. And I know it's just fanfic but it's a way for me to kind of release all these reflections and insights into the world and I'm just happy you're able to connect with these very flawed fictional humans! There's a little of us in them for sure! 💕

Lol sometimes I wish the stories would stop bc I won't stop thinking about them! I literally have scenes and dialogues written up for stories that idk if I'll ever get to actually write but yeah, hopefully there's energy and inspiration to match the ideas. One day I’ll probably have a “scenes from stories I’ll never write” post 🥲🥲

Pls stay cool and hydrated! Be safe always! 💕💕

#mimianswers #💌

[lucysweatslove]

Tw for some ED-related talk. However it’s not under a readmore because it’s not anything directly related to ED behavior or hugely specific things- it’s more talking about my experience now and reflecting on triggers.

I talk about it all the time (because it’s been a huge life goal), but I start school again in July. It’s been a long time coming, and part of this was because I didn’t feel right applying before I was healthy / recovered. I’ve known that scholastic type things trigger me for various reasons, and I felt wrong applying before I was in a really good place where I could handle those triggers without it interfering with school.

And that’s also partly why I did my master’s degree- it was my first time in school since recovery, and I think I needed to prove to myself that I can do it. I can be on the same campus as I would be in med school, in the same buildings, surrounded by the same type of people, and be fine. And I was! And I kicked ass! And now I start the next chapter and will hopefully also be fine and kick ass!

Buuuuut.

Last night reminded me that my triggers aren’t ever going to be gone. I can be fully weight restored, in a plus-size body, not engaging in any intentional low-calorie restriction with plans for huge weight loss, and I’ll still be triggered. I still have body dissatisfaction and some automatic thoughts that are disordered, even if am not actually acting on them.

The autism and ADHD diagnoses have allowed me to look through my triggers with a slightly different lens. I’m not saying my neurodivergence caused my eating disorder, but I have learned that high levels of social interactions are very triggering for me. I think this is related to me desperately wanting to control how others perceive me. The short of it: the neurodivergence already makes some of the way I interact seem socially “wrong”/not socially acceptable*. Bodies are also heavily policed- shape and size and the clothes you wear and makeup and whatever. Since my shape and size has always been a target for bullying/othering (I believe in part as a proxy for the social things kids couldn’t quite verbalize), it’s a major insecurity for how people will perceive me as a whole. Like, I knew I couldn’t just magically be better at social things, so past ED me had this idea that if I was just a bit thinner, more beautiful, I would be more “socially acceptable”* and people could overlook my social difficulties.

As I get closer to starting school, thinking about orientations and retreats and white coat ceremony and all the freaking pictures they seem to love to post all over the place, this is coming up again. Even sitting in a classroom- how am I going to be perceived? And patients? How will they perceive me? (To be clear: this came up in my master’s program, but it wasn’t too bad. Because of Covid, we had a lot of resources available online so I didn’t need to be in class most of the time.)

Of course there is more to it, like aspects of control (which, arguably, this is too- controlling something because I can’t control perceptions- but I mean more from the standpoint of there being so many uncertainties in school that I can’t always control for, something about the structure of it and the routines too, idk).

Anyway, all of this to say, I think I need some good supports in place NOW, but I’m not sure what exactly. My husband is great, but I’m NOT good at recognizing when I’m really slipping until it’s actively affecting multiple areas of my life, and I need to be able to recognize it earlier, before it fucks me over and I’m actually relapsing.

I have Recovery Record still on my phone so I did their two questionnaires (EPSI and EDE-Q) but they give results in terms of standard deviations from their population. But they do show a pattern of continued mental pathology even if I’m not acting on it. Which may be why I’ve felt the last 2-3 weeks especially like I’m slipping a little bit. (the EAT-26, which I’ve taken before and scored… much higher than cut off… is currently below cut off, which idk how to take that exactly because “sometimes” answers are worth 0 just like “rarely” and “always” but that doesn’t mean “sometimes” thoughts or behaviors are actually like… normal/not disordered).

It all just sucks rn. Like last night I was up kind of crying over all of it, but I’m not sure over what. Like, am I grieving my old body still? The way I could control and structure everything just right? The way I could just eat a fucking meal and even if I was internally dying over it people around me wouldn’t bat a fucking eye (but now every food I put in my mouth is scrutinized but OTHER people, even when they don’t see me eat. I’ve HEARD the judgments). Tbh it’s a weird dichotomy because I know I was miserable and could barely function but I also know it was helping me cope (just not in a positive way). And I honestly think I looked so much better and other people legit treated me so differently (better, kinder, less judgmental, I legit had thin privilege) and it just. It sucks to not have even that and now to go back into a similar situation. Ugh.

*Re: “acceptable” and body shape and size and socially acceptable as a whole. Women in general have expectations for how they can appear and interact with the world. Fat women aren’t thin and have some different expectations. Based on how fat women are portrayed in media, there seems to be a hidden message about which fat women get accepted by society. IYKYK.

#tw ed #tw disordered eating

[marianprayers]

how do you pray? what if your prayers are not answered or you feel like they aren't being listened to? i have tried praying and I'm still unsure how i feel about religion and I don't resonate with a specific one but idk i just don't feel heard or like I'm doing it properly you know? what is your advice? and how do you learn about religion without going to church. obviously there's Google and stuff but it's not rlly helpful lol. are there any books that you recommend?

hi thanks for the question! i’m happy to answer

i think i struggled with this- feeling like my prayers weren’t being listened to- as well and i think it was mostly due to the fact my heart just wasn’t in it. i wasn’t committed to my prayer or to my intention or to my faith. i found myself in a weird middle phase similarly to you where i needed something more in my life but couldn’t find what. for a long time i studied astrology to help but then found so much comfort in the Lord & particularly Mary.

so i would suggest explore your options. find something you really resonate with, and when you talk with whatever/whoever that is, commit your heart and show your devotion. for me, no matter what happens after my prayer, i feel comforted knowing i have spoken to God, and that He or Mary will be watching and hearing.

maybe you could try saying a prayer like The Memorare, which i have posted on my page, to solidify your prayer and seek action from Mary.

and for how i personally pray, it is very situational. sometimes i simply clasp my hands together. sometimes i do nothing external at all and just repeat a prayer in my head; i do this often in public. if i want Them to know i’m really committed to my prayer i will hold my rosary in between my palms as i pray, as people say that Mary holds one end of the rosary and you hold the other. but prayer is very personal and intimate. i suggest doing what works for you!

and on learning about religion i am little help, as i am still very early on in my journey, and trying to learn myself. i’ve been recommended “The Secret of the Rosary” and “The True Devotion to the Blessed Virgin” as books to read. of course reading Bible verses. i like the app “Women’s Bible”, as i don’t yet feel ready to purchase a physical bible. you can add notes and annotate on this app, and the interface is pink! i was also recommended the “Baltimore Catechism”, which is a Q&A style book that teaches all about God/Catholicism.

but my best advice is follow profiles online! there’s lots of lovely girls on twitter who have helped me and there’s lots of blogs out there.

i hope this can help <3

#ask ♡

[chaotic-kitty]

Is it too soon for me to diagnose Nix Hydra with “Can’t make short characteritis?”

So I was looking at Miguel’s wiki bio coz I wanted to see if anyone had updated it since the final chapter dropped, so I could have a little look at what happened it the other ending. And while I was there, his bio said he was 5’11. Now I scrolled through EVERY one of the fictif posts on Insta to find the official bio, I found one but it says nothing about his height, nor can I find reference to it anywhere else. So it probably was mentioned in an Q&A or something. But that got me thinking about nix hydra and character heights. Now I am very aware that there are multiple different teams of writers and artists who all design their characters differently. But saying that, there are a few contradictions regarding height.

For example: in Last Legacy, Elowen (5’7), is described as being “imposingly tall’. Maeve (5’7) in Courting The Crown, who is the same height, is described by Rian as being “small”. Now I get that could be because Rian is tall? But that being said, 5’7 isn’t THAT tall nor is it short.

And there are times where character height doesn’t add up to the way they’re being described. Take Miguel for example, from what I remember he’s made out to be on the higher end of tall…..but he’s only 5’11? Which 5’11 in most places around the world is considered for men as average. The same goes for Jesse. He’s described as being TALL but he’s 5’10 which isn’t that tall either.

Now I get that I’m probably reading too much into this but, there is just something about the height system for these characters that bug me. A large majority of them fall into the above average height for their respective demographics. And yes, it’s not uncommon to have a lot of tall people, but when the majority of your characters fall at the same heights, especially your main characters, it gets to a point where it looks as though you can’t make short characters.

And some characters are taller than they actually feel like. Rian is apparently 6’1….he doesn’t give that vibe. I would’ve put him at around 5’9, same with Theo. Now characters like Saaros & Gwydion? Their tall heights kinda fit when you look at Elfin and Fae lore. And with Sage, Rime, Anisa, ect I guess their tall heights make sense cause they’re Ilephta and we don’t know much about Ilephta’s at all. Though Tulsi is on the shorter end. So idk?

But there is a part of me that looks at these characters, keeping in mind how toxic nix hydra has been with other stereotypes, and can’t help but think how much they’re stereotyping here too.

Nadia is depicted as dominant (which I have my own thoughts on) and her character is tall. You look at Saaros and Vidas, both nb but still very masculine in their appearance…their both tall. Same with the other nb characters. Felix has been stereotyped a certain way too, and he’s the shortest male. You look at all men and the majority of them are TALL. Like heaps tall. And even the women are more on the taller end of the scale. And that’s not even touching on the majority of the side characters. Because looking at just The Arcana, all of those characters seems heaps tall too, besides Mazelinka, Khamgalai & Volta.

I just wish we got more actual range you know? Not just with heights but in general. While there is diversity amongst the characters, I feel like they still write and design characters similarly. Especially as they are a company that’s always going on about diversity.

But anyways, just a few thoughts I had. Like I said, I’m probably reading too much into it or have grabbed the wrong end of the stick. In which case if I have, feel free to gently let me know. This is entirely just my own view on the matter.

Though looking at the way nix hydra goes with height especially when it doesn’t match descriptions….I wonder how tall Tinker Bell is? Coz Bille described them as being tiny, but they also think 5’7 is short and tall at the same time. I’m really interested to see what the writers view as tiny.

Edit: Mainly my point is, I think nix hydra has a problem with how they do heights. Now I do not know the inner workings of the company, so I don’t know how they do things. Each writer probably has their own views on heights and how they relate to one another. But I think that the writers and artists need to all get on the same page with it. And when I look at the character designs (including their personalities ect) and their heights I can’t help but see how they could be stereotyping their characters in a toxic kinda way….again. And if this was just this one thing on its own, it wouldn’t really mean much, but when you look at everything regarding nix hydra and their handling/designing of characters? It doesn’t look that great. It just really bugs me. I would really like to have a few more shorter characters (specifically main characters) that are just short without also having other toxic stereotypes attached.

Character Height List (of the characters I could find):

Muriel- 6’10

LOS- 6’9

Lucan- 6’6

Rainer- 6’6 (with horns)

Orion- 6’5

Julian- 6’4

Leonidas- 6’4

Sergio- 6’4

Howie- 6’3

Nicky- 6’3

Sawyer- 6’3

Ayanna- 6’2

Gwydion- 6’2

Luca- 6’2

Sage- 6’2

Vidas- 6’2

Astrellio- 6’1

Poe- 6’1

Rian- 6’1

Rouge- 6’1

Saaros- 6’1

Eeri- 6’0

Gramme- 6’0

Rime- 6’0

Theo- 6’0

Anisa- 5’11

Escell- 5’11

Miguel- 5’11 (?)

Calysta- 5’10

Chava- 5’10

Jesse- 5’10

Lucio- 5’10

Nadia- 5’10

Valerius- 5’10

Scylla- 5’10

Florian- 5’9

Asra- 5’8

Aurelia- 5’8

Casimir- 5’8

Serena “Hook”- 5’8

Amara- 5’7

Elowen- 5’7

Maeve- 5’7

Elise- 5’6

Felix- 5’6

Val- 5’6

Celia- 5’5

Tess- 5’5

Tulsi- 5’4

Portia- 5’1

Stella (cat)- smol

#fictif #fictif games #the arcana #the arcana game #fictif ftlog #fictif ctc #fictif courting the crown #fictif for the love of gods #fictif last legacy #fictif ioe #fictif ll #random thoughts #please don’t come for me

[zirawrites]

Hi, Could you reblog the FAQ please, I can’t seem to find it😅

Unfortunately I'm an ancient Tumblr user and so my FAQ is nestled in the drop-down menu of my actual blog.

I haven't been on Tumblr since 2019, so this new social layout has an old fart like me very confused lolol. I’m realizing most people use the app with pinned posts and other magical stuff idk how to do. Here is a link to the FAQ page. However, I'll post it below in case that's easier to access via mobile!

Q. What kind of reactions can I request?

A. I write standard reactions, headcanons and occasionally one shot fics. A standard reaction is: “How would [CHARACTER] react to [SCENARIO]?” Headcanons are: “What are some things [CHARACTER] would do if [SCENARIO]?” One shot fics, imagines and prompts include: “Can you write a story about [CHARACTER] doing [SCENARIO]?”

Q. How do I know you got my request?

A. All requests are usually done in the order of which I’ve received them. If you haven’t seen a response from me in over a week, don’t hesitate to reach out and ask if I’ve seen it.

Q. Do you write NSFW content?

A. It depends on if I am comfortable with the specific topic. If you think your request might be NSFW, feel free to send it anyways. A trigger warning on darker subjects is always appreciated.

Q. Can I become a mod?

A. This is my personal writing account, so I am not taking any mods at the moment. Everything posted is solely written by me.

As a side note, I worked very hard on my theme so you should check my actual blog out <3 I even have an About Me section talking about the ancient art of 2012 Tumblr rpgs.

#fallout 4 #fallout 4 reactions #fallout 4 writing #faq