#idek what to tag this its my first lmao but i had to i had to your honor
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how will i survive this missing?
Pairing: Jing Yuan x (GN) Reader
Summary: After a long absence, the General pays you a visit.
Warnings: Angst, Grief, Death (ambiguous, of the reader variety)
your hand kissing along his spine. your kiss in the shape of a smile. the smile in your eyes as you look at him, at him, at him.
jing yuan wakes slowly, silently, stirred from his dreams by the cool night and the cool sheets wrapped around him. it is dark in his room, the blinds drawn against the windows to block out the unsleeping light of the xianzhou luofu, but he knows this place well. the furniture, the linens, the dressing gowns in the closet, the objects on the dresser, the nooks and crannies of your shared abode all familiar and unchanged for as long as you’ve been gone.
he remembers you like this, in linked images, like a line in a poem or a verse in a song. when those thoughts of you drift into his head, he cannot help but linger there, in the dark behind his eyes, waiting for you to come back to him in pieces.
the fingers you comb through his hair. the lacquered comb that he places in yours, the gift an apology after so long away. i’ll treasure it, you tell him joyfully, but to him, you are the treasure, most precious of all.
he stands, moving across the topography of his—yours, too, once—bedroom with practiced ease. how long has it been since he’s had this dream? how long has it been since he’s heard your voice? he fingers the familiar comb on the dresser, counting its teeth like years, hesitating briefly before slipping it into his sleeve.
they say that time moves differently for the long-lived, that the edges of those many years begin to blur, eventually, season over season, life over life. jing yuan could tell them that grief is like that too, a stretching of time into something unfamiliar, unrecognizable. jing yuan could tell them that immortality and grief are just the same—outlive the ones you love, and you will feel as if you have lived forever.
your gravestone isn’t far, in the garden you had once loved and tended to, with your gentle hands and gentle heart. the white stone catches in the light of the luofu, shadows pooling in the characters of your name, where he finds his fingers drawn, as they always are. he kneels in the grass and traces their shape, as he once traced the outlines of your face in this same beautiful night, in this same beautiful place. he smiles, placing the comb in front of you.
“hello, my dear,” jing yuan says. “it’s been a while since we last met.”
A/N: dear readers, i want him carnally but all i can ever seem to produce is angst.
#hsr jing yuan#jing yuan#jing yuan fic#jing yuan x reader#hsr x reader#honkai star rail x reader#honkai star rail imagines#hsr imagines#honkai star rail#hsr#i haven't written a thing in years and the first thing i produce is. this.#idek what to tag this its my first lmao but i had to i had to your honor#idk if anyone will ever read this but i had to do something about it!!!#.illuminations#.xianzhou luofu
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𝙸𝚗𝚌𝚞𝚋𝚞𝚜!𝙽𝚊𝚗𝚊𝚖𝚒 𝙺𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚘 𝚡 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛
𖥔 ݁ ˖ 𝒮𝓎𝓃𝑜𝓅𝓈𝒾𝓈 ♡ ˊˎ- Nanami as an incubus and his relationship with you! With Gojo on the side. (Idek what this summary is😭)
.𖥔 ݁ ˖ 𝒲𝒶𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔(𝓈) / 𝒯𝒶𝑔𝓈 ♡ ˊˎ- Incubus Nanami & Gojo, Gojo being Nanami’s wingman fr, gender neutral reader, black coded reader, Nanami being stubborn, themes of sex, mentions of Nanami touching himself, & switches of povs.
.𖥔 ݁ ˖ 𝒜/𝒩 ♡ ˊˎ- I’m a slut for this man, what can I say y’all✋🏼😔? But spooky season is upon us and I’m thinking about supernatural shit and dark themes✨ But idk what happened to the form of this? Listen, I’m at the airport waiting for my flight and I’m bored and want this out lmao🤪. I’m hoping to do a part 2 where it’s more smutty based, but smut is hard y’all😩. I appreciate all the likes on my last post btw!🙏🏼🥺💕. Minors/ ageless blogs DNI please and lemme know any mistakes or missed tags.
He’s not fond of his nature, but he has learned to live with it. I mean he has to lmao.
He’s stubborn with his feeding schedule, and his a little picky. As usual Kento is more worried about getting that bread.
Gojo gets on his head about not taking care of himself (of course in a more playful/blasé manner, but he cares his Nanamin).
Gojo also knows when he hasn’t fed because it shows in Nanami’s appearance first before it show in his attitude.
His eyes gets a bit sunken in, the dark circles get darker, his hair looks dull, then he gets more uncanny from there if prolonged (which hasn’t happened, Nanami’s not that careless)
Then comes the attitude! Nanami’s patience grows very thin and he’s a mixture of tired, weak, & hungry. His already sharp and witty quips at Gojo become more sharper and a bit meaner, but nothing that goes over the line.
He’s not down for Gojo’s games essentially. Even more so now😗.
When he meets you, you were his server at this cute little cat cafe that Gojo dragged him to (he didn’t give the man a chance to say no).
Nanami doesn’t mind cats, he’s just not looking forward to getting their fur out from his clothes.
But you were a sight for sore eyes. Every inch of you being taken in by Nanami’s shade covered eyes and that familiar hunger in his belly rose its ugly head slightly.
He had to swallow hard and remind himself to actually answer you and remember his order.
He ignores Gojo’s knowing smirk and childish little prods at his ankles, instead focusing on his beverage of choice and listening to your voice as you take Gojo’s order. Once you’re gone is when he gripes at him.
Your voice, no matter how it sounds, is soothing and appealing to his ears, and your scent…
It’s what keeps him coming back.
All the cat hair on his clothes is worth it if he gets to keep seeing you.
You can say he’s a bit addicted to ya.
Eventually he manages to get your number and he noticed how every time he came, you were always his server, not that he’s complainin.
Dates with him are fun and romantic, first going to a restaurant, then stroll in the park and getting showered in sakura blossoms, going shopping (him buying whatever you want), more meal related dates, etc. He adores seeing you happy and pampered.
But you truly haunt his nearly sleepless nights and he can’t help but touch himself to the very thought of you. But it’s never truly enough.
Then…
Nanami starts to spiral. You are a human and he is a creature of lust.
His safety and or your safety could be compromised and with that in mind, he begins to back off.
And just as things were going so well too…
Nanami didn’t ghost you, thankfully, but he disclosed that things weren’t working out and that he’s sorry for wasting your time. But he did it on text. He just didn’t want to face you, unfortunately and he regrets it to this day
But on your side, to forget your anger and sorrows, you go to a nightclub to party and slightly drink the pain away.
But unfortunately you also saw Nanami and his friend from before there as well🤪😜.
It was tough but you ignore him just like he ignored your multitude of text messages.
…
Okay maybe you didn’t completely ignore him-.
You can’t help but look at him every so often and from the few glances you got to do, he looked kinda miserable, definitely agitated, and a bit ill looking..
Nanami was very much disinterested in anyone flocking his way and he immediately would send them to Gojo’s way instead, thankfully they took the bite, finding Gojo even more attractive.
But his mood sours even more when he catches wind of you.
You look gorgeous as always, especially in your fit (it’s something he bought you) and he wanted nothing more than to go over to you and sweep you up off your feet (and other things~).
But he doesn’t. All he does is keep his watchful gaze on you, making sure you’re okay and because well… He wants you!
Anyone that comes near you with obvious intentions to woo you his jaw and fists would clench slightly. But again, he doesn’t get up from his seat.
Nanami was… Content to stay in his place. But that was until Gojo thought it’d be a funny idea to make his way to you, pushing pass his little harem.
Although you have your heart set on Nanami, you can’t deny that his friend isn’t gorgeous.
You bet those eyes of his gets him all that he wants with some trouble on the side.
You didn’t move away when his arm came around you, and you let him guide you to a more less crowded area, soon swaying with you as 2 On by Tinashe and SchoolBoy Q booms in the background.
If you hadn’t been pursued by Nanami you definitely would’ve let yourself be caught up with Mr. Troublemaker.
“Heyy~! So, I know you were caught up with Nanamin and all that, but if you’re free…” He puts his lips near your ear, hands sliding towards your hips and gripping them slightly. “I’d love to get to know you better~.”
Your throat bob and just as you’re about to sink into temptation-.
“That’s quite enough, Satoru.”
“Kento…,” you breathed out.
- Gojo didn’t even put up a fight, just took his hands off you with a knowing smile and let Nanami take you away from him.
- Nanami was pissed. Fuming.
- He didn’t appreciate Gojo approaching you like that. The nerve of him!
- His grip is a little tight on you, but you’re okay with it. Until you remember that you’re supposed to be mad at him.
“Now, hold on a second! Who the hell do you think you are?? I was about to get some good dick and you ruined it!” you spat.
Nanami scoffs lightly, letting your hand go. “Oh, please, you can do so much better,” he replies, defeat coating his words.
“Oh god, are you gonna be corny and say that you’re better? ‘Cause clearly you weren’t.”
Despite the hurt, he knew you had a point. He failed as a partner.
“As much as I want to, I know that I failed in that regard. I’m sorry, (y/n).”
You hate how much of a kicked puppy he looks. You sigh. “Ken… What even happened? I think I deserve to know the truth.”
Nanami swallows and as much as he wants to tell you the truth, he can’t. Too much is at risk.
“It’s because he’s an incubus, Sweetheart~.”
“Huh!?” “Satoru!?”
Both of you were flabbergasted and Nanami was three seconds away from throttling Gojo.
“Nanami, I’m tired of watching you brood and nearly kill yourself because of your fears,” Gojo explains, his playfulness gone with the wind.
“Do you have any idea what you’ve just possibly done??”
Gojo goes back to looking carefree. “Call it a gut feeling~! Now why don’t you two get outta here? Oh! And use protection~!”
Nanami fumbles through his thoughts on what to say, feeling as though he’s going to either short circuit or burst from rage. But in the end he sighs a contained breath, pinching the bridge of his nose, slightly cursing Gojo under his breath, but also feeling a tickle of guilt. He was being selfish with not taking care of himself..
He comes back to his senses when he feels you touch his arm.
“Alright… Is this true or are we really actin like clowns at the circus? If so I’ll need some more alcohol.”
“It’s true, as cliche as that sounds. I didn’t want to tell you in fear that you could maybe get in danger or I could be.”
“… Holy shit. Well I’m glad it’s nothing ridiculous or painful! But hey! I can live one of my child/teenhood fantasies by being in a relationship with a supernatural person!”
Nanami blinks at you for a good second, face perplexed before it eventually softens and he starts laughing lightly with disbelief, taking your hand into his.
When you squeeze his back eagerly he knows he has to thank Gojo for his part in all this.
#𝐉𝐉𝐊✩ ̇ ┈•ﾟ#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#nanami kento#gojo satoru#black coded reader#gender neutral reader#jjk x black reader#jjk x gender neutral reader#jjk x male reader#jjk x reader#I’m so tired y’all#black reader#nanami x reader#nanami kento x reader#nanami kento x black reader#nanami kento x you
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get to know me!
tagged by my loveliest boy, @dearsugarrush <3
birthday: 23rd may 2002 ♊️
favorite color: green and black
do you have pets?: i currently have a fish rn :o
how tall are you?: 5'2 (159cm 😔)
how many pairs of shoes do you own?: probably more than 10 but i only wear 3 of those
favorite song: our summer - txt, rain sound - bap, wedding dress - taeyang (lmao these are all kpop songs cuz these days i dont listen to rnb as much :v)
favorite movie: suddenly i dont remember any 🤡 so its probably gonna be endgame
who would be your ideal partner?: tbh, choi beomgyu. (im so sorry cyj but you and i, we dont match)
do you want children?: maybe yes? i think id make a great mother actually
have you gotten in trouble with the law?: no ig?
what color socks are you wearing?: im barefooted 🤡 the last one i wore was cream
favorite type of music: rnb 🫶🏼
how many pillows do you sleep with?: 4 or more
what position do you sleep in?: usually on my right side or on my back like a log 🧍🏻♀️
what don’t you like when you’re sleeping: if its too hot or too cold, if the bedsheet feels rough on my skin and if im not having a large pillow to hug
what do you have for breakfast: i dont do breakfast 🤡
have you ever tried archery?: yea, could probably ace it but its too expensive for me
favorite fruit: honeydew, rock melon, korean pear and grapes <3
are you a good liar?: a very good one lmao
what’s your personality type?: isfp-a lol
innie or outie?: innie
left handed or right handed?: right
favorite food: chicken soup, soondubu jjigae, mostly hot soupy dishes 💗
favorite foreign food: indian ftw!!
am i clean or messy?: messy but my stuff stays organised if you get what i mean
most used phrase: shet, fr
how long does it take for you to get ready: shower, 20 mins and i get ready in like 10 so max 40
do you talk to yourself?: ofc who else do i talk to lmao /j
do you sing to yourself?: OFC!!
are you a good singer?: yes without mic, with mic, i sound like a choked chicken 🐓 i sing my bestie to sleep so
biggest fear?: loud sounds
are you a gossip?: i can listen to gossips but i rarely start first
do you like long or short hair?: short, i cant handle the hot with long hair
favorite school subject: maths, chemistry and physics lmao
extrovert or introvert: idek anymore atp
what makes you nervous: talking to new people and in front of crowds
who was your first real crush?: probably the one i had when i was 11
how many piercings?: only 2 (my mum would kill me if i get more)
how many tattoos?: i dont have any :o
how fast can you run?: probably fast enough to stay alive
what color is your hair?: black
what color are your eyes?: very dark brown
what makes you angry: my step dad, arrogant, stupid, abnoxious people 🙄
do you like your name?: i dont really like my full name but i like the one i go by
do you want a boy or a girl as a child?: a boy
what are your strengths?: i usually dgaf about poeple but when i care, i care a lot
what are your weaknesses?: idgaf about poeple 🤡
what is the color of your bedspread?: blue
color of your room: white....
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I posted 164 times in 2022
That's 58 more posts than 2021!
45 posts created (27%)
119 posts reblogged (73%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@pandas-pandemonium
@raven-at-the-writing-desk
@twiwoncrackpopcorn
@yandere-daze
@bluemoondust
I tagged 110 of my posts in 2022
Only 33% of my posts had no tags
#twst spoilers - 8 posts
#twst chapter 6 - 8 posts
#asks - 7 posts
#twisted wonderland - 4 posts
#yandere sentient twst asks - 3 posts
#yandere obey me - 2 posts
#twst guide - 2 posts
#yeah - 2 posts
#happinesss - 2 posts
#yandere headcanons - 2 posts
Longest Tag: 106 characters
#if you want original works i have quotev for that but i haven't updated any of my stories in years so uhhh
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
MAN
they're Really keeping Idia/Ortho's OB design a secret huh
The painnn
I have so many things to talk about idk where to start??
MAJOR SPOILERS FOR LATEST CHAPTER 6 UPDATE
i cannot add a spoiler tag on mobile so SCROLL PAST!!!
Okay now...
First up:
the Pomefiore fan in me is So SOO happy??? Epel got his UM - Sleep Kiss, Rook being a good senpai and guiding Epel with his new magic spell, Vil being so happy to see them, Mann
His voice when he saw Epel like-🥺🥺🥺 Villl you missed your friends so muchh
I love Pomefiore so much, their dynamics are eVeRYTHiNG
Next
Ortho?? Um- Ortho?? He really went "Sayonara bitches" the moment the dorm leaders didn't agree with the plan to reset the world like- Buddy??
And also-
What happened to Ortho from "That Day" that Idia gave up so easily?? He really went down to the Titans chamber, then Phantom Ortho was all, "Nii-chan, I've been dreaming of the day i could see you!" and Idia was all, "Leave it up to your big bro" and just- OBed...
It's pretty cool seeing his OB gem tho. At least now we know where it is?
Finally:
Grim... It's crazy how he can sniff out blot immediate honestly. By the end of this chapter, Idek if Grim will be the same after this. Any sign of someone OBing sets him off into feral mode. Yuu is going to be so heartbroken when they find him.
Also, Idk if he broke out already, but if he hasn't, someone is going to get hurt when he does.
It'll be pretty funny if they found him gnawing on OB Idia's heels tho lmao
Anyways...
we now have to wait until April or longer... Man... and I read this in one sitting too
118 notes - Posted March 24, 2022
#4
Speculations on Claude's difference in character in 3 Hopes vs 3 Houses
Writing this because I'm so tired of seeing so many angry comments and tweets and posts about his supposed character assassination (among other things) and because I have faith in my guy. As of writing this, I've only just finished Part 1 of Golden Wildfire and only know some tidbits from spoilers (which I willingly exposed myself to)
The main gripe people seem to have about Claude's character is to do with how forceful and unwilling to hear people out and inquire about situations and people's motives. Personally, I don't see it as character assassination but rather a different way he could have developed if he hadn't gone through White Clouds in 3 Houses or met Byleth, or hadn't had to kill his half-brother, Shahid.
What I think was the turning point for Claude's forceful and aggressive actions, was very likely the event that he killed his own brother. We see traces of 3 Houses Claude, him trying to reason with Shahid and wanting to talk things out but alas, Shahid doesn't care and Claude ultimately makes the decision to kill him. Post-battle, we see Claude is very clearly affected by that event.
6 months later, Claude reforms the Alliance into the Leicester Federation and is placed as its king.
Perhaps it's all the stress built up from the war. The Alliance has been going through battle after battle and it's taking a toll on him. It doesn't help that because he wasn't in the Academy for a year to get to know his classmates and learn to trust others, he feels like as the Alliance Leader (as of Part 1), he has to shoulder all the decisions and be responsible for everything that happens. The Roundtable Conferences don't help with his frustrations either.
Through supports and the story itself, Claude has shown signs of disdain for the Alliance's system, but he hasn't really seen the need to change it, although it is inefficient. Then Shez comes along and goes, "Hey, why don't you make yourself the sole leader so decisions will go by faster during wartime?" and it opens up a possibility he hadn't even thought about. If he becomes the sole leader and doesn't need to go through the endless circling of decisions waiting for all 5 lords to come to a unanimous decision, things will be done faster and he can do what he wants to do quicker.
Back to Shahid's death and his impact on Claude's mental state - it definitely changed him. Perhaps after making the choice to kill his own blood, he made the decision to no longer hold back. He can't be too "soft" or hesitant anymore. He needs to be more resolved in his decisions and perhaps that is why we see the Claude we see in 3 Hopes. The aggressive, cutthroat Claude who doesn't consider choosing to hear people out. This can be seen in his decision to send troops to the 3 lords' territories to create public order instead of Lorenz's suggestion to send an envoy first. Claude even says that they'll "probably make half-baked excuses anyway" and that there's no point talking things out. This is pretty much where I've left off from the game, but it's clear that Shahid's refusal to reason with him still affects him.
I do think that perhaps the writers could have shown that a bit more, but Claude is way more reserved in his emotions and willingness to express himself and it may have been difficult to show that internal turmoil. Either way, I still think calling Claude's change of character, "character assassination" is going too far especially if you don't consider the prior events and the what-if's and differences in situation and events that occur between both games.
119 notes - Posted June 28, 2022
#3
I have a big weakness for self-aware, yandere characters so your headcanons are a miracle to me. Could you do something with Deuce where the player always compliments him whenever they get a card or see him? He is my best boy and I love him so darn much that I always louldy anounce it when I see him :,) Thank you!
A/N: Figured I should get this out since the 2022 January Masterchef event and the New Years event are so Deuce-focused. (he's a good boy and I love him)
Yan! Sentient! Twst AU - Deuce being complimented
Every time Deuce receives a compliment, he can't help but feel all warm and shy inside
You're just so nice! So kind! The fact that you acknowledge his efforts and his presence is so rewarding. He sometimes feels like he doesn't deserve all that praise
The compliments you give him fuels his desire to make sure the mirror gives you his cards more often - his Dorm SSR, his Birthday Suit SSR and more!
Unfortunately, despite having a UM, his magic still isn't strong enough to really have much of an effect on the gacha system
It does mean however, that your praise has a greater effect on the blue-haired first year
"You came home! My precious boy!"
Deuce has to do everything in his power to not overload in embarrassment
Yes, he's your precious boy and he hopes he won't ever lose that position
He's also especially thankful towards the developers of the game whenever he gets an event that he features in
It just means that you'll be paying more attention to him!
Deuce truly hopes that you'll always love him and that your attention and love for him doesn't wane any time soon.
If it does, he'll be truly heartbroken...
309 notes - Posted January 11, 2022
#2
Yandere! Mammon and his obsession with being "first"
Mild/Implied NSFW
Note: This is slightly spicy, and completely unprompted. Just something that's been sitting in the back of my mind lol. Please don't send me NSFW requests! My NSFW rule still applies to even mild spicy requests.
Mammon who learns that you're a virgin who's never had their first kiss
Mammon who insists on taking all your firsts upon learning about it, cockblocking all his brothers when they attempt to have some alone time with you; he can't risk you casually giving away your first kiss or first time to someone else, after all
"[Name], you've never had your first kiss?"
His eyes are wide, and his body trembling with pure ecstasy
"If you haven't then... I'll do it! I, the Great Mammon will be the one to give you all your firsts! After all, I am your first demon!"
If you let him, he's over the moon, bragging about it to anyone in passing
If not, well...he hates to do it, but he'll have to take it by force
Cornering you in your room, forcing you down on the bed as he steals your first kiss, impatiently undressing you, eager to take everything
Mammon's not going to let this chance slip by
He's the avatar of Greed and he's desperate to take and take whatever you've got
359 notes - Posted February 6, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
Yandere! Asmo has been on my mind a lot lately
Mildly spicy headcanons, so mild you'll barely notice it
Asmo who claims to be so deeply in love that he wants everything about you
He wants to be in you, in some way or another and vice versa
Exceptionally clingy
"Hey MC, why don't we take a bath together? Just you and me~?"
If you refuse...well, he'll just take whatever you may have left behind
your bathwater
Absolutely loves it if you ever borrow his makeup or skincare products
It's like having his scent all over you!
May or may not take up the habit of using your lipbalm or lip products on his own
It's an indirect kiss! How romantic, no? Though he'd much prefer the real deal
Hates it if you ever wear someone else's perfume or get someone's scent on you
"Hey, whose shampoo did you use?"
"Mammon's?! Why didn't you ask me?!"
This simply won't do. He's dragging you to the bathroom to smother anything of his own onto your body
It's how he stakes his claim on you, after all
366 notes - Posted March 9, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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Taylor has been around since season 2, you misogynistic piece of shit, and she was NOT introduced, nor does she exist, just to get your loser buddie ass away from the fucking show. She exists because she's a great character, and is with Buck because they ARE good together and DO work well together. You're ignoring the circumstances surrounding the season to nitpick their relationship and you're being an asswipe while you do it. Fuck you, fuck off, hope you choke.
I received this ask two days ago, but I had an overnight shift and then a day shift, so I haven't had the chance to sit down and properly formulate an answer to this.
First off: congratulations! After 8 years of posting my dumbass thoughts on this website, you are actually the first person to ever send me anon hate. This is honestly such an honor; I feel like I've truly made it here. Normally, I would agree that replying to anon hate is fruitless, but it appears my words have been misunderstood and I believe in giving people the chance to explain themselves.
Now, let's get into this. I assume you are responding to the post I made about Taylor Kelly a few days ago (that literally only got like 10 notes lmao) that I began with, and I quote, "I think Taylor Kelly is a really interesting character..." You are correct that Taylor has been around since season 2. For a whole two episodes, which ended in her and Buck deciding they did not want to be in a relationship together. So it's weird that she came back a whole two seasons later (4x08) and soon ended up...in a relationship together. A pretty dull relationship, in my opinion, at least in that way. I like them together. I think they have great chemistry. As friends. I just don't see them in a romantic way. My opinion (which, last I checked, I am allowed to have).
I did not say they were trying to get the "buddie loser ass[s]" away from the show. Or at least, that's not what I meant. I meant that they were trying to quiet the people who ship Buck and Eddie together by putting them both in romantic relationships with women. Coincidentally, at the exact same time (Ana comes in at 4x06 and they start dating soon after that). If you have paid any attention to anything I've said about this show for the last two or so years (or in the tags of the post this is all about), you know that I don't think buddie is going to happen. That's not why I watch the show. Do I hate that they teased me, a queer woman, with a potential romantic relationship between two people of the same sex and then didn't make it happen? Of course. But I'm used to this at this point. It's not why I don't like Buck and Taylor together. It's certainly not why I don't like Taylor, because as stated before, I DO like Taylor. I'm looking forward to getting to know her backstory and her life outside of Buck. I really don't think pointing out the fact that she was written exclusively to be a love interest for Buck (which she was) and saying that I want to see more of her as her own person makes me a "misogynistic piece of shit".
I'd like to close this out as this is already getting too long and I am not nearly liked enough to deserve a long response (or this ask tbh). I don't even know if you'll ever read this; you obviously don't like what I have to say. But hey, I love to talk. It's why I'm here and why I will continue to voice my stupid opinions on here. I do want to end by asking you if a dumb post I made at 4:35am that got 10 notes was worth telling a stranger on the internet that you hope they choke. I'm genuinely curious. If you would like to discuss this matter further, I am totally open to do so. I study psychology and law, so analyzing people and arguing are two of my favorite hobbies. Please leave the insults and death threats at home, though. There is never a reason for that.
#long post#ask#idek what to tag this as#this is legit the first time anyone has ever spoken to me this way and it kind of threw me off#I legit like manic laughed when I saw I got this Friday night#but I was literally getting ready for work#and then I went home went to sleep got up and went back to work#so I really haven't had time to think a thought#but now its 6am and I was gonna get some sleep before my day of homework but I could not stop thinking about this#I kinda hope they reply#I would love to hash this out more#ive kinda been avoiding Tumblr lately cuz I wanted to post this first#but now I can go back to posting my dumb thoughts and maybe if I'm lucky someone else will wish for my death#always fun#also through this post I’ve learned that some people sent me asks like ages ago#but tumblr mobile never showed them to me#and Im never on desktop#so apologies for that#feels a bit weird to reply to them now lmao
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?????
#im just gonna ? rant i guess in the tags so uhhhhhhhhhh yeah dont read#im really ??????? so ?#ive been dissociating so bad the past like ... year ? two years ??#like literally nothing feels real like going off to college didnt even feel Real everyone was so impressed at how well i adapted to being#away from home and i was just like lmao... i mean... none of this is real so like ... im Chill u kno ???#i just feel so ... empty ? and numb all of the time like i dont ... Feel anything. ever.#ive lost literally all interest in everything im just doing things that i know i should love and be excited to do or participate in because#i know thats what i Should do like im literally..... just going through the motions of everything#and this is my first time being home since the semester started and it just feels so??????#like i feel like i never left and never went off to college and all of that is just like ? a dream i had or just smth i thought abt#i have to go to work tomorrow and everything just feels like im still in highschool#still working the same job with the same people at the same place in the same town#and like idk just feeling like ..... ive just been Here for all of this time really makes me want to choke like my d*pression was so#fucking bad and it got better when i left for osu but mostly bc ... i just felt nothing but now#i feel like its senior year all over again ??? like im just laying in my own bed and thinking about how much time i laid here last year#feeling so fucking miserable and how many times i just cried for hours on end and it literally feels like i just picked up where i left off#i feel exactly the same that i did before i left im just laying here crying but ? why???? i havent cried like this since i left for college#idk what it is about being here that just makes me feel so awful but i just??? idk#idek what im saying i cant even explain it#on top of that i have to go to work tmo and im so anxious abt it i want to throw up#there are just a million things rn that i ????? cant deal w#i should be excited to be home and see my family and my dogs and celebrate thanksgiving/my bday#but instead i just want to fucking kms like lmao................#idk what im sayig im bad at explaining my feelings but i just needed to thpe this out idk
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i was tagged by the wonderful gem gem gemmaaaaaaaaaa @whenwinterfell
1. what do you prefer to be called name-wise?
name-calling? bitch (affectionate) or bro (sarcastic) but jan is also fine
2. when is your birthday?
10 april
3. where do you live?
atm im still enrolled in bremen but i moved back to [redacted] to live with my parents when i started going insane(r) in my dorm room after months of isolation. will probably move to berlin in the fall bc my plans a, b, and c fell through and i dont know what else to do but lets not talk about that 🥲
4. three things you are doing right now?
having a really bad day, drawing on my arm like a child, listening to marina
5. four fandoms that have peaked your interest?
i honestly dont even know what a fandom really is lmao my obsessions with stuff never last long enough to grow into anything substantial
6. how has the pandemic been treating you?
idek how to answer this.... i know im one of the lucky ones and im very grateful, but at the same time im doing worse than ever before... the past 15 months have been hard, a lot has been destroyed and im struggling to look ahead or feel hopeful ✌️😗
7. a song you can’t stop listening to right now?
VENUS FLY TRAP
8. recommend a movie:
Legally Blonde (2001)
9. how old are you?
29 and fuck you for asking (jk lol)
10. school, university, occupation, other?
im about to start an MA in english lit 🤡 and i justify my existence in this capitalist system with 3 separate jobs in 3 diff teams of my uni's pr department (yes its about as adhd friendly as it sounds)
11. do you prefer heat or cold?
COLD!!!! im a sweaty bitch and my skin is a beautiful, delicate shade of raw pork so i really hate the summer. i can admit that the concept has a certain appeal tho
12. name one fact others may not know about you
not really a fact but a fun anecdote: i transferred schools in first grade, just a few months into the school year and, on the first day at my new school, went home with a random girl. apparently sabrina had invited me to hang out, so we went to her house and spent the afternoon watching cartoons and eating candy. we were both latchkey kids (quite common where im from). my mom finished work around noon and obviously shat a brick when she came home to an empty apartment. my parents freaked the fuck out, called everyone they knew and eventually a major police operation was launched within hours of my disappearance... like friends and family were searching all over town for me, police were sweeping fields and the forest next to our neighborhood and 6 year old me was just chilling at this girls house lmaooooo... her mom came home later that night and asked me if my parents knew where i was BECAUSE SHE HAD HEARD A RADIO ANNOUNCEMENT ABOUT A MISSING BOY. the weird thing is that sabrina had TWO older sisters who were obviously supposed to watch her (us?) but neither of them had the wherewithal to ask "hmm do the parents of this new kid you dragged in from the street know where he is?"
13. are you shy?
idk man... yeah? but then people keep telling me i come across as an extrovert and outgoing or whatever and i just think to myself omfg? i have to stop overcompensating
14. preferred pronouns?
he/they
15. biggest pet peeves?
"people who chew with their mouth open" <- yes absolutely! and when people interrupt others... which is slightly hypocritical of me but it just drives me up the wall!!!! even when it happens to others and im just a witness it makes me flip my lid
16. what is your favourite “dere” type?
my what now
17. rate your life from 1-10: idk man my brain doesnt really do long term analytics? i find a gummy bear on the floor - its an eleven. i experience a minor inconvenience - i want to kms.
18. what’s your main blog?
this is my only one
19. list your sideblogs and what they’re used for:
i feel like you're not even listening to me
20. is there something people need to know about you before becoming friends?
i guess it takes me a while to warm up to people but once we reach the friendship stage its basically impossible to get rid of me and im very loyal and committed? sounds like a dog lmao. BUT at the same time that can be hard to see for other people bc im also impulsive and not the best when it comes to consistent communication so... dont take it personally when i disappear for a few days and then message u like nothing happened🥺
tagging: @shyredpanda @mmolia ❤️🔥
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sides / b.r jr.
Pairing: Barty Crouch Jr. x Reader
Summary: Years after his sudden disappearance you find the man you fell in love with all those years ago but he has to pick a side; yours or the Dark Lord’s
Bold part is from @corvidprompts
Warning(s): implication of smut
A/N: Bro idek what that ending was and I’m clearing up my drafts so I’m sorry for this trash.
The Quidditch World Cup took place this year and you expected it to be a peaceful trip but oh how you were so wrong. Flames consumed the tents people had set up which left the place in ruins. A majority of the people who had come to watch the game had now fled, you were among the handful of people who stayed back.
With a heart too big for your own good, you stayed back and helped some people who had been trampled in the sudden attack. As you helped a boy, who you soon realized was Harry Potter, the two of you saw a man cast the dark mark into the sky. He was a few yards ahead of you but he saw you both and started heading closer.
“Go, run.” You told the boy who only looked at you in fear.
“What about you?”
“I’ll be fine.” And with that he ran away, leaving you hiding behind a tent.
You heard his steps and heavy breathing getting closer and with your wand at your side, you stepped away and pointed it at the man. Scarlet light emitted from it and the man went flying back, his wand now only a few feet away from him.With your wand pointed at his neck while you struggled to get him to stay still, you failed to look at who the man was as you straddled their hips. You paid no mind to an odd sense of familiarity as you fought to get him still.
“(Y/N)?” The familiar voice brought flooded your mind with memories, both happy and unhappy ones. Mumbling the wand lighting charm you saw the one person you thought you’d never see again.
“Barty...” Neither of you knew what to say, spending a minute to just look at each other in disbelief until a smirk formed on his lips. You didn’t understand why until you realized the position you were in, straddling his hips in attempt to get him still a few minutes ago. You quickly got off and stood up, hoping that he wouldn’t see your flustered face. Extending your hand out for him to take, he let you help him up and watched as he dusted himself off.
“Still a feisty as before I see.” He chuckled.
Suddenly the sound of Aurors approaching alerted the two of you and without another word, Barty grabbed onto hand and apparated to what you assumed was an abandoned home. Questions rushed through your head but you asked him the one that bugged you since you saw him “How are you alive? I attended your funeral.”
“And so did I, under an invisibility cloak that is.” He replied, walking over to the fireplace and muttered “incendio”, watching as flames erupted and provided a warm glow. “Mother switched places with me under a polyjuice potion, I’ve been under the imperius curse for months by my father.”
You took a moment to register what he was telling you, still in disbelief of how he was here now. Numerous questions were still begging to be answered but instead of asking you grabbed the collar of his shirt and pressed your mouth on his. The action caught him off guard and you felt him tense up but quickly relaxed and tangled his fingers in your hair while his free hand pulled your waist closer to him. There was no turning back now as he took off his shirt.
*
“I missed this.” He mumbled against your neck. Turning around you smiled at him before getting out of the bed and picking up your clothes off the ground then heading to the bathroom. You ran a hot shower to ease your sore body, allowing your thoughts to run freely through your mind.
Leaving the bathroom and stepping into the bedroom you noticed the bed was now empty, his shoes and coat still on the ground. You left the bedroom and roamed around the house in search of Barty, eventually finding him in what looked like a library. His back was facing you as he sat by a piano, staring at the numerous books in the shelves.
“Do you remember when we first met?” He asked you, his back still facing you.
“I do.”
It was around 2 in the morning and you decided to sneak into the library. having read almost all of the books there, you decided to go into the restricted section. You roamed the area in hopes of finding something interesting and landed upon something about the Dark Arts. It was a subject that always intrigued you but was something you didn’t want to play with. As you went to grab the book you felt someone else pull on the book from the other side. You snatched the book and heard a footsteps turn the corner.
“Why would a girl like you want to read about the Dark Arts?” a boy asked you with his arms crossed as he leaned against the shelves with a playful smirk. He had messy brown hair and wore a a black jumper with black joggers.
“I think I’m allowed to read what I want.” You huffed, placing the book by your side as you looked at him.
“But why in the restricted section? I’m pretty sure its restricted for a reason.”
“Then why are you here?” The boy put his hands up in surrender, standing up straight as he walked towards you with a charming smile.
“Barty Crouch.” He introduced, sticking his hand out which you hesitantly shook.
“(Y/N) (Y/L/N).”
That was in your sixth year at Hogwarts. The night you met him you knew it wouldn’t be the last, it was something about him that just intrigued you and he just felt the same towards you.
For the next few minutes you found yourself sitting beside Barty at the piano as he taught you how to play. It was relaxing for the both of you, especially Barty who seemed to lose himself while playing. Eventually you had given up and rested your head on his shoulder as he played a song.
“Why do you still follow him?” You asked him as his song ended, your voice echoing off the walls of the room. Barty took a moment to answer, not sure of what to say for he didn’t know why either.
“I, I don’t know.”
“Come with me then. Just like when we were in Hogwarts, you always talked about wanting to live in a cottage surrounded by nature. We can have that, just forget them. Forget them all- come with me.”
“(Y/N)...”
“No, I know, please, don’t say anything, let me argue my case, don’t look at me like that, they don’t deserve you, come with me, and I’ll take you away somewhere safe. Some little cottage in the woods somewhere, chickens and bees and why are you crying, please, we can have it, just come here-”
“I already proved my loyalty to him after we graduated. I can’t just, leave. Especially now when he’d so close to succeeding. Trust me, if I could I’d drop everything and follow you wherever but you have to understand it’s no longer my choice.” Tears ran down his cheek as he spoke, inhaling shaky breathes as he spoke.
Your heart ached as you listened, you knew he would never agree but at least you could say you tried right? Nodding, you fought back tears as you got up from the bench and placed a kiss on his cheek before turning around to leave.
“(Y/N), no. Come back. Please.” His pleads fell on deaf ears as he watched you leave. Grabbing his wand that rested on top of the piano he pointed it at you and watched as the imperius curse hit you. “I’m sorry.”
Taglist: @lunaralpha270 @malfwy @cleopatera
if you don’t want to be tagged for a specific character please tell me I don’t wanna be annoying you with fics you don;t wanna read. Also taglist is open if you’d like to be added. I lowkey forgot I had a taglist lmao sorry
#bartemius crouch junior imagine#bartemius crouch jr#barty crouch junior#barty crouch junior imagine#barty crouch junior x reader#barty crouch jr#barty crouch jr au#barty crouch jr imagine#barty crouch jr x reader#barty crouch jr x you#barty crouch jr x y/n#harry potter series#harry potter au#harry potter#goblet of fire#hp and the goblet of fire#david tennant#david tennant x reader
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Omg i loved your list!!! It must've been a handful bc it was very thorough, diversified (in genres, year published/updated type of writing and even authors). And you said you were deep into the avalance tag in ao3, so you must've had a lot of work with these. You even included SMAUS!!! I totally forget about them, but they are super fun to read and the ones you selected are really good indeed! Kudos to you!!! Your whole list is AWESOME! And very entertaining tbh bc i was here waiting to see what fic you'd recommend lmaoo did not disappoint, let me tell you! T A S T E hahaha
But wait... You read You Are My Miracle in one go???? How far was it when you read it?? And YEAH once in a while we are hit with a 10k+ chapter and i LOVE IT! Hahahaha idek when i started, but maaan the slow burn kills me!!!! Good fic good fic.
And the HSAU MY BELOVED!!! that's the one you mentioned chapter 27 right? lol A Classic™️ can't express how in love i still am with this fic. It's long, and the slow burn seems even longer bc YOU JUST WANT THEM TO KISS 😭 (and its so worth it when the do!!!). And I loved even more the other fic with Jordan (it's Impossible to not like her!!) but mostly bc when I joined the fandom the HSAU was wrapping up and when i first read it it was already finished. And to follow a fic since the fists chapters, waiting for a new update... I just love it! And the whole story is INCREDIBLE!!! One of my top faves for sure.
The SQ au is also one of my faves, even though ive never shipped sq. And you are right, Lucy knows what she's doing lmao one of the firsts i read for avalance and its amazing amazing amazing!!
There's another one that's one of my favs and I belive it's the very first avalance fic I read (bc i was familiar with the author's works from another fandom): I See My Future in Your Eyes by lizardwriter. Another really great HSAU!! (Also Stuck With You is totally worth the read!!)
Anyways, loved your list and the way you organized it. So fun to be on this journey with you even though i just sat back waiting for your posts and sometimes forgetting to read them 🙈 hahaha
❤️ The Word doc I organised it in is 9 pages and almost 4,500 words. Would not have survived if I didn't edit in there. Just for general reading I filter AO3 into different length fics, and then sort by kudos, so I've probably read the description of most of the fics in the tag over the years. The list was from my own 109 pages of history, not the tag, so I was choosing things I've read. It wasn't a conscious thought to have such a range, really it was looking at my history, and what did I enjoy.
I love the concept of SMAU, and they really get lost to history. Unless you find them by accident, which I did for the first plinys one, there's a high chance you don't know they were a thing. I was following a bunch in early 2019 (that was longer ago than I thought), but plinys was the only one who I saw complete their's, and I know how to find them again, as I also do not have twitter.
The process was worth it if you enjoyed it. Also making my life easier; re-read Better than Ice Cream last night, and was so easy to find.
You're My Miracle was a couple of weeks worth of reading, I think. I keep some of my AO3 update emails (for my Favourites as it makes me happy), and the first one I have for that fic is Chapter 28. I was up-to-date by then. That was published August 1st 2019, which is now also a long time ago.
you make me smile (please stay for a while) was one hit. As I wrote, I read the first chapter when it was published, and the prequel one-shot, back in 2018. Got so irrationally mad about Laurel, and stopped. Not long after I went back to only really reading Supercorp fics. I read the whole thing Feb/March last year. And yes, that is the Chapter 27 I mentioned. For me, I love them both so, so much but this is the way that we love (like it's forever) pips HSAU for me. The scene that had me crying at work was when Amaya and Sara were talking about how the legends fell apart after Sara left; that was my school friends after I moved away for uni. I was the only one to move away straight after school, and I was only 2 hours away. I thought all my friends were catching up without me, but they weren't. There's some guilt in that, feeling like you're the reason why people weren't seeing each other, which I hadn't identified, even after they called me 'the glue' of our group at my 21st, until I read that scene.
Ohh, I'll give that a try! Thanks. I've seen it before, but haven't given it a chance. Stuck With You is grey-ed out, so I guess I've read it at some stage. There's always going to be gems that you didn't see when they were new, and don't know to dig for. That's what I'm hoping I've done for people with my lists.
Organising things is a favourite past-time of mine. The amount of time I've spent on my bookshelves, both books and Pops!, is probably more than I should, but I'm very proud of them. If only there was an easy way to get hard copies of fics to display...
You've been my partner in feels for this, and for that I'm very thankful. :)
#the only downside is that I'm now super behind in shows#three episodes behind on Stargirl#and there's new Supergirl and What if? today too#everything bar Legends is new on my Wednesday#and behind on my year long Taylor Swift lyric calender#each day I choose a lyric that somehow relates to the day#either the lyrics themselves or tone or listened to it#and write that into the 2021 TS calendar I got for Christmas#it is calendar so first one is wrong#I've got the last week of August to fill in#you got a shout out on the day when we were discussing Girl at Home
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tag game! 👁👄👁
This is gonna big a long one and i aint putting under read more!
tagged by @eremikas & @itadorii-yuuji thank youuuu
why did you choose your url?
it was a gift from a precious friend and he knew about my love for naruto heh
any side-blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them.
nope! welcome to my one and only hell hole
how long have you been on tumblr?
around 10 years...........damn............
do you have a queue tag?
yep its “queued” cuz i aint cool enough to have a cool one
why did you start your blog in the first place?
it sounded fun at the time hehehe
why did you choose your icon/pfp?
BECAUSE ITADORI YUUJI IS EVERYTHING TO ME
why did you choose your header?
BECAUSE ITADORI YUUJI IS EVERYTHING TO ME
what’s your post with the most notes?
im.......not proud.......
how many people do you follow?
257 and my dash is always dead send reinforcements
have you ever made a shitpost?
isnt tumblr about shitposting
how often do you use tumblr?
mostly everyday [hides]
did you have a fight/argument with a blog once? who won?
yes back when reposters were a huge thing.......
how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this post’?
theyre mostly blacklisted so i dont see em lmao
do you like tag games?
yes!
do you like ask games?
yes!
which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?
all of them idek why they follow me to begin with 👀
do you have a crush on a mutual?
stahp it......
link 1
link 2
link 3
rules: choose 1 picture from your camera roll without downloading to sum up your personality and then tag 5 people
lmao i cant believe i had an use for this one outside of private chats
tagging @kurahara @is-jus-me @getouru @tokugou 🤭 @proherotheflamehashira @xgojou @tokoyammi @ackersaint to do any of these, all of them or to ignore it completely no pressure heh
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tag game tehehe
tagged by: @bluejaem my love
1. Why did you choose your url?
the name i go by online rn is "asic" and when i removed the "a" and added loves, it became sicloves but that looked too crappy so i cool-ed the loves into luvz and made it sicluvz :D
2. Any side blogs? If you have them, name them and why you have them?
2 very seggsy side blogs without any purpose or reason
@havenarchives = for my pic inspos and just a visual dump
@helpmepassmysats = me rambling about studies and life but i dont do much on there, only the occasional reblog lol
3. How long have you been on Tumblr?
since feb? i had an alt which i used when i was 13 but then i deleted it lel ig it got lost somewhere :D
4. Do you have a queue tag?
ahh what's a queue tag? help a girl out
5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?
for fun i think??? for some reason twitter wouldnt really load on my laptop (its dead now rip) and so i decided to go back to tumblr because i'd been here for a long time and i missed the underground vibes it gave off lol
6. Why did you choose your icon / pfp?
because that's jae's instagram pfp plus it's just so iconic and it gives off untouchable vibes lmao
7. Why did you choose your header?
it was too seggsy to be ignored, i made it myself and it's among the few of my graphic designs that i'm actually proud of and i think it does a rrly sexc job of conveying who i am/ what i aspire to be sksks
8. What’s your post with the most notes?
my dive into you fic!! it took me only 15 minutes to write that one yet it has soo many notes when the fics i took more time to write have lesser notes lmao
9. How many mutuals do you have?
more than 10 but less than 100 for sure lmao :( hmu if u want to be moots, i don't bite grrrr
10. How many followers do you have?
100 right now but i think half of them are bots because no one ever interacts with me lol :/
11. How many people do you follow?
40 seggsy people
12. Have you ever made a shitpost?
my life is a shitpost
13. How often do you use Tumblr each day?
i use it for like some time? im online but i hop on for like 30 mins or sumn everyday? idek im bad with time grrr
14. Did you have a fight / argument with another blog once? Who won?
naurr but if you want to fight, we can geddit ;)
15. How do you feel about ‘you need to compare this’ posts?
i think they are irrelevant its too toxic ahhh
16. Do you like tag games?
yesss i love tag games so muchhh i find them super seggsy and super fun and super sweet :D
17. Do you like ask games?
yesss but i barely get any asks, i'm too lonely for this world
18. Which of your mutuals do you think is Tumblr famous?
i think @bluejaem and @hwiseungs i see them on every blog i go to and i think it's super seggsy of them ;)
19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?
nahh i dont have time for love rip
20. Tags:
@hwiseungs @floraljae @mango-mina @chicksung @hyuckster ahhh i cant think of any other people?? sorry if i missed you just go ahead and do it skskkss
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ohhhh anna’s lil tag game is very cute i love these questions! thank u @ashtcnirwin 🥰
feel free to answer all of them or just some of them or just ignore this all together, whatever you’re comfortable with, and then tag however many people you want!
1. what was your first encounter with fanfiction? asjdfk god it was atl fic on livejournal and mibba in like 2010 maybe?? idek but it was all slash fic like had literally not heard of reader insert until i joined the sos fam properly in 2018. also don’t remember what my reaction to it was?? reading slash fic has been so normal for me for like 10 yrs i dont know how the fcuk it started 😂 this was before i got tumblr but i used to keep up to date with some of the bigger atl blogs like it was the morning news or sumat and like 90% of them wrote amazing fic so 🤷♀️
2. your favourite creation of your own of all time if you create stuff (feel free to link it)?
3. what vibe are you going for with your home decor (or what vibe do you wanna go for one day, if you don’t have your own place atm)? oh man, unfortunately i dont have my own place right now, but my room is full of plants and i also just spent half an hour looking at witchy occult cat figurines on amazon sooooo ig those are my vibes rn 😌 but i feel like it changes all the time tbh
4. first fandom you ever joined? what was it like? on what platform did it happen? paramore was the first band i was a massive fan of but i didnt rly get into the fandom ig i just was my own lil bubble of pmore. i had a massive kpop phase when i was like 13 and my fave band was UKiss - i joined a forum (cannot remember what it’s called rn) and met a few people thru that! i met this rly sweet girl and we used to message every day and we like designed our own merch ackskrkr so ig that must’ve been my first fandom! i also taught myself basic korean and this is gonna sound Very Weird but instead of like knowing celebs zodiac signs it was rly common to know blood types like it was kind of the same deal apparently ur blood type says a lot about ur personality ajxjkskf so i knew like kpop idols blood types ajsjjfjjcjfjjf ahhhhhh so wild
5. what are your sun, moon and rising signs, and do you think they make sense in relation to how you know yourself? aries sun, leo moon, cancer rising - i am an absolute disgrace of an aries LMAO i do not fit my sun sign in the slightest its the complete opposite of me, leo is kinda similar tbh i feel like its kinda close to aries? so yeah i dont fit those at all. ig i kind of am more cancer bc im emotional as all hell LOL but yeah i never put a lot of thought into my signs for a rly long time bc i always felt they were a completely wrong description of me
6. if you write and/or read fiction (original or fanfiction), do the tropes/plots/character types you typically seek out to read and/or write about reflect something about you as a being or how you see the world? i don’t write but uhhh i usually go for like hurt/comfort which??? ig i could relate to me LMAO how emo 😌 i’m not sure tbh, i deff don’t feel the characters i read reflect anything about me?? tbh i have never rly thought about this thats super interesting.... i feel like i love a good angsty fic but it has to have a happy ending asdksnidfg and im a pretty emo person but like ig im tryna be hopeful in the end?? so maybe?? yeah ig its how i would see the world!
7. what is the hardest obstacle you’ve had to overcome so far in life? holy shit uhhhhhhh man thts a tough one but idk if i wanna think about it in too much detail tbh 😌 ig recently i spoke to a dr about my mental health after years of pretending i wasnt depressed so 🤷♀️
8. what is your all time favourite song(s)? brighter by paramore - first song i fell in love with by them and ive been hooked ever since. before i listened to them i only listened to chart music lmfao literally had never listened to anything else and then after listening to paramore i started listening to rock/pop punk music and discovered all the bands that i listen to now!
9. what do you look for in a person you wanna keep in your life, be it a friend or a romantic partner or anything in between? hm ig recently ive realised its gotta be someone who has the same kinds views and values as me (i mean not down to a t but like generally the same kinda views and like respect for others u know) uhh someone i feel comfortable around to act my true chaotic self 😌✌️and also comfortable to know we can both talk about anything with no judgement no matter what it is. but also someone that respects like having seperate lives from each other? like not needing to be in each others pockets and knowing even if it’s been a lil while u can still message and it’s like no time has passed
10. this is a bit of a difficult one, but have you ever had a moment of clarity, a conversation with someone that made you go “oh!”, or anything along those lines? ooh i mean in 2018 i was working an office job in engineering and had a moment of like wow ive always wanted to work in events and especially live music and ive wanted to since i was like 13 and here i am 10 years later still considering that as a potential career path so ig it means something pretty significant and i decided to leave my perm job last year and go temp but then. yeah. this year happened so 🥴🤷♀️
i tag: @superbloomirwin @kindahoping4forever @spookydaddycal @pinkbubbles-and-bigtroubles @reveriesofawriter @mastasof-ravenkroft @rebelwith0utacause @karajaynetoday 💛
#i started this last night but it was a lot to think about and i was super tired lmfaooooo#but this was rly interesting i loved it!!#🥰#tagged
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MUN GET TO KNOW THING
Name: AJ ( Alligator Jones, Apple Juice, etc )
Star sign: sagittarius (idek how to spell that)
Height: look....... spiritually.... 5′11.... literally.... 5′1″
What’s your middle name:
Put your spotify/apple music on shuffle. What are the first 6 songs that popped up?:
1. Sofia - Clario
2. From the Pinnacle to the Pit - Ghost
3. Something Soon - Car Seat Headrest
4. Sports - Beach Bunny
5. SCREWS - DREAMERS
6. Incinerate - Sonic Youth
Ever had a poem/song written about you?: yeah by my 9th grade boyfriend who cheated one me with a girl who pretended to be a lesbian so I wouldn’t ask why they were hanging out (note: I would not have asked anyways) then said he was gonna kill himself if I left him, then told others I left him because he was depressed.... I did not know when we dated that he was into slam poetry but he entered a school contest and read it in front of the entire school..... bitch, I DIED. I was sitting there like... I’m 15...... it’s not that deep!!!!!!
When was the last time you played air guitar?: idk
Who is your celebrity crush?: armie hammer lmao... im sorry.... if he did something wrong (other than be in cmbyn which I did not watch) no one tell me i will scream !!!
What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?: I am my mother’s kid! I hate the sound of feet dragging. Lift your feet! Save your soles! Sound I love, the sound of food cooking!
Do you believe in ghosts?: don’t kill me but not really, if it’s windy and the door creaks, i’m gonna get spooked but I don’t believe in it.
How about Aliens?: I find it hard to believe we are the only life in the universe like this, that’s kind of a bold assumption with what we know about the universe. I guess the same can be said about the supernatural, but that’s a story for another day!
Do you drive?: no, I don’t have a license.....
If so have you crashed?: look.... it was an accident........ and in front of a cop.... and i hit a mercedes and ripped its door off... and had to go to court and take a class with people who had DUIs... don’t drive without a license ok...
What was the last book you read?: uh.... some romance trash !! i have a kindle unlimited sub lol
Do you like the smell of gasoline: Ethanol ruined the smell!!
What’s the worst Injury you’ve had?: Broke all my toes at the same time, accidentally rode my bike into a giant concrete city stop light pole while wearing flip flops.
Do you have any obsessions right now?: .... Michael Myers... husband....
Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?: I’m not gonna keep someone's name in my mouth much longer after they pissed me off. Sure, at first I’m gonna bitch and moan, but I’m not gonna sit here looking at people’s accounts and finding reasons to get mad at someone I already don’t like, like oh look at them BREATHING! I just stop thinking about them. If they want to apologize they can, but that doesn’t mean I have to give them anymore chances. Sometimes you only get one.
In a relationship?: Yes! 9 years together in October!
TAGGED BY: stolen from @chxoticmuses
TAGGING: you!
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Dig a little deeper
tagged by @gcralts (tysm liibby! 💞✨💗)
1. do you prefer writing with a black pen or a blue pen? black
2. would you prefer to live in the country or in the city? city
3. if you could learn a new skill, what would it be? piano! or learn some new languages. also improve my guitar playing
4. do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? tea - no, coffee - yes if it’s just instant, but i usually get caramel lattes when i’m out so no need for more sugar!
5. what was your favorite book as a child? when i was really little i had one of those lift-the-flap books called where’s my kitten? and i LOVED it
6. do you prefer baths or showers? i do love a bath but i always end making them too hot and i start sweating lol so showers
7. if you could be a mythical creature, which one would you be? a witch babey!
8. paper or electronic books? paper 100%! electronic books hurt my eyes
9. what is your favorite item of clothing? i have a really nice blue cable knit jumper that i love! also just love a good hoodie!
10. do you like your name? would you like to change it? not really. i think i would like it more if i could go by stevie but everyone has called me steph my whole life so it’d be weird to change. but if i could fully change my name i’d change it to alice bc it was my nana’s middle name and i just think it’s a nice name!
11. who is a mentor to you? i can’t really think of anyone tbh? i think there are quite a few people that seem to really have their life together and i’m just like wow could never be me but i admire them a lot, like one of my best friends is just fully living her best life and i want that lol
12. would you like to be famous? if so, what for? yes but also no lmao, i think it would suck a lot of the time in terms of like zero privacy and constantly being critiqued for literally everything. but like low key i’m always like i wish i could be an actress lmao. never gonna happen tho bc i have zero confidence anyways but whatever.
13. are you a restless sleeper? i mean i take AGES to fall asleep and it SUCKS and i can’t sleep if there are too many noises or there’s too much light and like, everything wakes me up so i guess lol
14. do you consider yourself to be a romantic person? i probably am but haven’t had a chance to find out for real lol
15. which element best represents you? earth i guess?
16. who do you want to be closer to? my brother tbh
17. do you miss someone at the moment? my family
18. tell us about an early childhood memory. playing video games with my brother (which essentially was just me watching him play grand theft auto and gran turismo and him sometimes letting me play but i sucked at driving lmao)
19. what is the strangest thing you have eaten? i can’t think of anything
20. what are you most thankful for? my friends and family
21. do you like spicy food? it depends lol
22. have you ever met someone famous? yes, i met ed sheeran for like 2 seconds outside a radio station and got a pic with him; i met karen gillan at armaggedon (basically the nz equivalent of a low-budget comic-con); and i met niall horan at a m&g before his show
23. do you keep a diary or journal? nope. i’ve tried in the past but i always forgot to write in it lol
24. do you prefer to use pen or pencil? pen
25. what is your star sign? gemini
26. do you like your cereal crunchy or soggy? crunchy! i hate when my cereal gets soggy!
27. what would you want your legacy to be? i can’t answer this bc i have no idea what i’m doing with my life and thinking too much about it is depressing lol
28. do you like reading? What was the last book you read? hell yes! i just finished always and forever, lara jean by jenny han and i’m currently reading sapphire blue by kerstin gier
29. how do you show someone you love them? letting them know i’m here for them, sending them links to stuff i think they’d like/find funny
30. do you like ice in your drinks? sometimes, as long as it’s not like, basically the entire drink
31. what are you afraid of? spiders, dying, being alone forever (lookin’ highly likely lol)
32. what is your favorite scent? vanilla, lavender, the smell of rain
33. do you address older people by their name or surname? first name mostly i think?
34. if money was not a factor, how would you live your life? a LOT of travelling!!! also buying stuff for other people
35. do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? neither bc i can’t swim lol
36. what would you do if you found $50 in the ground? Depends on the context. If I found $50 on the ground but I know that someone has lost it, I give the money back to the person. If I don’t know whose money is that, I keep it to myself. (keeping this answer bc same)
37. have you ever seen a shooting star? did you make a wish? yes and yes
38. what is one thing you would want to teach your children? don’t every be afraid to express your emotions, let them out. whatever you’re feeling is valid (keeping this bc same)
39. if you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? i want to get a daisy tattoo, either on my wrist or below my inner elbow
40. what can you hear now? well i’m listening to the wallows so that
41. where do you feel the safest? home
42. what is one thing you want to overcome/conquer? honestly i just want to find out what i’m supposed to do with my life lol
43. if you could travel back to any era, what would it be? idek either some time in like the 19th century or just like, the 70s or 80s lol
44. what is your most used emoji? “🥺”
45. describe yourself using one word. kind
46. what do you regret the most? god, a lot of things lol
47. last movie you saw? at the movies it was knives out (which was NOVEMBER LAST YEAR WTF), but not at the movies was to all the boys i’ve loved before
48. last tv show you watched? survivor lmao my flat mates and i are OBSESSED
49. invent a word and its meaning. i’ve not got the energy to be creative enough to do this rn lmao
tagging: @obiliviate @impractical-matters @poscidon @padmeamdala @euphcme @captleia @grayson-dick @ewangmcgregor + anyone else who wants to do this (feel free to ignore! x)
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100 truths
thanks for tagging me @bonedvvddy !!
1.) Real Name: leslie
2.) Nicknames: i dont really have any
3.) Zodiac Sign: sagittarius
4.) Male or Female: f
5.) Nursery: no??
6.) Primary School: waterford
7.) Secondary School: hammonton then ******
8.) Hair colour: black
9.) Long or Short: short
10.) Loud or Quiet: usually loud but i have my days
11.) Sweats or Jeans: jeans
12.) Phone or Camera: phone
13.) Health Freak: i try but.....candy
14.) Drink or Smoke: both
15.) Do You Have A Crush On Someone: no i thought i did but i was wrong i just had to be dramatic first
16.) Political orientation: at this point, anything that will get tr*mp out the white house
17.) Piercings: 4 on each ear
18.) Tattoos: 12
Have you ever been in:
19.) Airplane: yes
20.) Car Accident: when i was little so i dont really remember it
21.) Fist Fight: close but no
Firsts:
22) First piercing: ears when i was like 2 seconds old bc im mexican
23.) First Best Friend: my cousin
24.) First Instrument played: flute
25.) First award: i guess like honor roll?? idk
26.) First Crush: idek but probably someone whos name start with j
27.) First Language: spanish
28.) First Big Vacation: ....disney
Lasts:
29.) Last Person you talked to: my mother
30.) Last Person You Texted: reny
31.) Last Person You Watched: watched???? like saw?? my mom i guess
32.) Last Movie You Watched: captain marvel (my dad finally got it from redbox so he could watch it in spanish and i sat there for a while)
34.) Last Song You listened to: THE WORST PIEEES IN LONDOOON
35.) Last Thing You Bought: my meds
36.) Last Person You Hugged: i dont even know honestly probably my mom shes the only person i hug i hate hugging
Favorites
38.) Drinks: lemonade!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
39.) Clothing: jeans, a tshirt, and some sneakers im ugly
40.) Book: man i havent read a book in such a long time like literal YEARS i think the last one i read was like its kind of a funny story when i was like....20
41.) Color: rn yellow!!!
42.) Flower: daisies
43.) Music: do i even have to say it
44.) Movies: my all time fave is the wizard of oz i could watch that god damn movie every day
46.) Subjects: math
In the last year
47.) [] Kissed in the rain
48.) [x] Celebrated halloween
49.) [ ] Had Your Heart Broken
50.) [ ] Went over the minutes on your cell phone
51.) [x] Someone questioned your sexual orientation
52.) [] Used a Weapon
53.) [ ] Breathed fire
54.) [ ] Had an Abortion
55.) [] Done something you’ve regretted
56.) [ ] Broke a promise
57.) [X] Kept a secret
58.) [X] Pretended to be happy
59.) [] Met Someone who changed your life
60.) [x] Pretended to be sick
61.) [x] Left the country
62.) [X] Tried something you normally wouldn’t like, and liked it.
63.) [X] Cried over the silliest thing
64.) [ ] Ran a mile
65.) [X] Went to the beach
66.) [X] Stayed single
Currently
67.) Eating: SALMON YUM
68.) Drinking: arizona
69.) Getting ready to: do homework (kill me)
70.) Listening to: my mom singing el prestamo by maluma lmao
71.) Plans For Tomorrow/Today: homework sad cowboy emoji
72.) Waiting for: tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Your future
73.) Want Kids: no
74.) Want To Get Married: no
75.) Careers in mind: social work but honestly idek anymore
What’s better on a guy or girl
76.) Lips or Eyes: eyes
77.) Shorter or Taller: taller
78.) Romantic or Spontaneous: both
79.) Nice Stomach or Nice Arms: idc
80.) Sensitive or Loud: sensitive im loud enough for both of us
81.) Hook-up Or Relationship: both
82.) Troublemaker or Hesitant: troublemaker
Have you ever
83.) Lost Glasses/Contacts: YEAH :/
84.) Ran Away From Home: no
85.) Held A Weapon, For Self Defense: not like a weapon weapon but like my keys whenever i got off late from work lmao
86.) Killed Somebody: of course
87.) Broken Someone’s Heart: yeah
88.) Been Arrested: no
Do you believe in
90.) Yourself: not at all lmao
91.) Miracles: no
92.) Love at First Sight: no
93.) Heaven: in a sense???
94.) Santa Claus: no
95.) Easter Bunny: no
96.) Magic: yeah
97.) Is There One Person You Wanna Be With, Right Now: no
98.) Are You Seriously Happy With Where You Are, In Life: no
99.) Are You Happy With The Person You’re With: no
100.) Post as 100 truths and tag five people
i tag @shpevrythng @fineg0ld @alwayslovelyalexa @holoskainos @lespendeja @losbesitos @vanguardvagrant
#magic in a sense of like little things#always looking at the clock at the same time#or turning ur radio on and its always the same song#not like oh i can shoot fire from my hands#personal#also of course u dont have to do this if u dont want!!#im just bored and dont wanna do homework at all#im over this class
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💋 50 Questions Tag 💋
THIS HAS BEEN WAAAY OVERDUE LMAOOOO. Thank you to the wonderful @nctatnightnight and @nctobsessedhours for tagging me 😍😘
1.What takes up too much of your time? Twitter
2. What makes your day better? Food
3. What’s the best thing to happen to you today? Had pizza and soda that I haven’t had in a while!
4. What fictional place would you like to go to? Hmm.. haven’t thought about it.
5. Are you good at giving advice? I’d like to think so, but I can’t follow my own advice so...
6. Do you have a mental illness? Diagnosed as depressed since I was a kid and anxiety recently.
7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? Once, I feel like?
8. What musician inspired you the most? Beyonce, Frank Ocean, Dean
9. Have you ever fallen in love? Yes
10. What’s your dream date? Bed all day!!!!!
11. What do others notice about you? How big I am lmaoooo
12. What’s an annoying habit you have? Eating too much
13. Do you still talk to your first love? Idek who my first love is.
14. How many exes do you have? 3 serious relationships, the others dont matter lol
15. How many songs are in your playlist? I have lots of playlists but my most fave one (the one I made for Jaehyun!!!) has 78 songs as of now!
16. What instruments can you play? Octavina and guitar
17. What do you have the most pictures of? Nudes... if I’m being honest. Jaehyun, Jongin, pretty girls and pretty architecture.
18. Where would you like to go before you die? West End and Broadway specifically.
19. What’s your Zodiac? Taurus sun. Year of the Fire Ox.
20. Do you relate to it? Yes lmaoooo
21. What is happiness to you? Seeing my friends that I love the most. Good food. Singing. Reading. Hearing my fave songs.
22. Are you going through anything right now? My depression and anxiety lol my bitchass aint taking meds bc i can’t afford it :)
23. What’s the worst decision you ever made? I have lots ider
24. What’s your favourite store? I love uniqlo and the shoe department esp for heels uwu
25. What’s your opinion on abortion? I think any woman can do whatever they want to do with their bodies, whatever it may be.
26. Do you keep a bucket list? I do?? i think so but its only in my head.
27. Do you have a favourite album? Frank Ocean’s Blonde, Beyonce’s Lemonade, Jorja Smith’s Project 11, EXO’s Ex’act, SZA’s Ctrl
28. What do you want for your birthday? Just a lot of money that I can blow right away lol
29. What are most people’s first impressions of you? They feel like I’m scary and intimidating bc I’m big lmaooo but usually, they think I’m friendly and open.
30. What age do you seem according to most people? Mid-20′s... RIP ME
31. Where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping? Right next to me, plugged in.
32. What word to you say the most? I curse a lot. LMAO. I say ‘cute’ a lot.
33. What’s the oldest age you would date? I’ve dated someone 9 years older than me but he didn’t look old so... lol but I’d date someone not older than 10 years than me.
34. Whats the youngest age you would date? I don’t date guys my age or younger. Probably 2 years older than me.
35. What job/career do most people say would suit you? Lawyer. A diplomat? Also a singer.
36. What’s your favourite music genre? R&B!!!! Theatre!! Hip-hop trap.
37. If you could live in any country in the world, where would it be? Belgium lol idk or Norway, Switzerland.
38. What is your current favourite song? Stay With Me by Miki Matsubara
39. How long have you had this blog for? 2 months ago lmaoo omg
40. What are you excited for? Nothing tbh lol
41. Are you a better talker or listener? Talker
42. What is the last productive thing you did? Wrote baby, good night lol
43. What do you want for Christmas? Money
44. What class do you get the best grades in? No idea like, I’ve long graduated from uni lol
45. On a scale of 1-10, how are you feeling right now? A 5
46. What can you see yourself doing in ten years? Lawyer!!!!!!!!
47. When did you get your first heartbreak? My mom lol
48. What age do you want to get married? Never
49. What career did you want to have as a child? Doctor
50. What do you crave right now? Water
Tagging: @jae-ffrey @maknaesdancersrappers @sips-tea-anon @ilyunoh @parkchanyale
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