#i've never finished anything longer than 5k words before

[dreamedge]

AO3 tag game :3

shout-out to @ragecndybars for the tag! <3 I got to think a lot about some older fics and also the deep, eternal impact CC has has on my soul, so I'm emotional rn lol.

How many works do you have on AO3?

21! Which is, a lot more than I thought tbh. I've been writing these long, long fics for so many years now that I've sort of forgotten about all the little ones I've managed in between. And even the long ones add up after a while. Though, I did only import a small selection of my fics from ff.net, so the back catalogue of stuff I've actually written is way longer. ... That's fine, some of that stuff can stay buried lol.

Even at 21 though... *Looks at my shoebox of story ideas and outlines* Its... its still not enough. Its, its just no where close to even making a dent in everything I want to write eventually.

What’s your total AO3 word count?

650,444. I'm pretty sure at least half of that is entirely in CC, and another quarter is in can i bleed. Which, tbh I'm not sure how I feel about that lol. Deeply introspective fics, my passion, my talent, my beloathed. Some part of me does miss simply writting 5k chapters and calling it done for a week. Not all of me though.

How many fandoms have you written for, and what are they?

Only 10! That number probably isn't going to grow much either. I tend to gravitate towards bigger projects these days rather than simple oneshots or even like, 5 chapter long stuff, so I tend to go all in on a small number of fandoms instead of spreading my attention around, even though I want to.

Cardcaptor Sakura

Digimon

Dragon Age Inquisition

Percy Jackson

Persona 3

Power Rangers RPM

RWBY

Teen Wolf

Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle

BNHA

Top five fics by kudos:

A Most Precious Thing (Tsubasa): tbh this being number one is an absolute surprise, though I'm very happy about it. According to AO3, this was published almost 10 years ago, will be 10 years exactly in just a few weeks, but people still regularly give it kudos and comments. It was a complete experiment, style wise; I'd never written anything like it before, I've written one thing like it since, and I'm just so thankful that people loved it so much despite the inexperience behind it.

Of the Woods (Teen Wolf/CCS): This being so high up is not a surprise, and I'm annoyed about it. Mostly bc I know its only so high up bc its for such a big fandom, written during said fandom's height. I think its probably one of the fic I've soured the most on since I wrote it; its just not that great.

Crests Corrupted (Digimon) : Oh, here it is. My masterpiece. Maybe its weird to say that of the fic that's only 3rd, but it truly is, and to see a fic I have put so much of myself into being even this high and this appreciated means so much to me.

can i bleed within your love (Persona 3) : Hi! I don't have much to say about this one, only that I'm so happy with the sheer outpouring of love this has gotten, and I can't wait to finish it.

True Feelings Chocolate (Digimon) : Oh, um, I sort of forgot about you. What are you doing here? ...This is awkward, I really didn't expect this to do so well. Its just a silly little fic I wrote for valentine's one year. I'm glad it did well?

Do you respond to comments?

I try! I don't succeed a lot of the time; generally I'm very tired after posting a chapter and then its been like two weeks and responding feels awkward. Also I tend to ramble, if you haven't noticed yet, some sometimes I'll just close out of responding to avoid any chance of me accidentally spoiling or saying something I shouldn't. I'm... working on it.

What’s the fic with the angstiest ending you’ve ever written?

Oh that's easy. Its the RWBY one, Your Love on Your Sleeve and Your Pain Buried Deep. I don't tend to write angsty fics, I like happy endings, I think this is the only one I've ever written and I'm glad to keep it that way.

Do you write crossovers?

I've written one before, the TW one that's up there. I generally tend to prefer fusions over straight up crossovers; I've gotten several P3 fusions planned, a PJ fusion, the bnha fic I wrote is a fusion. I just, I love fusions. I greatly prefer writing them over cross-overs generally.

Have you ever gotten hate on a fic?

Once or twice, but that was ages ago and I've mostly blocked it from my memory. The fandoms I'm in now have been full of such lovely people, I've been really lucky.

Do you write smut?

Smut, as in the fic happens to have a sex scene? Not typically, but I'm not against doing so when the need calls. Smut, as in the entire point of the fic in the sex scene? No. I'm actually very bad at it. I'll do it if I must but I find even writing kiss scenes awkward, let alone everything else. I will gladly leave it to people much better at their craft them I am.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

To the best of my knowledge? No I don't think so.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I've had people offer? I don't know if they ever did or even if, in my general ineptitude when it comes to responding to people, I actually agreed they could.

Hey, if anyone wants to translate my works, feel free!

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

... Hey, thats not fair.

Hmmm, well, after much thinking I'm gonna go with Kurogane/Fai from TRC. Other ships may currently have their hooks in my brain, but kurofai is a big comfort to me still, I really love them. And lets be honest. Ain't no one doing it like those two.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish, but don’t think you ever will?

I have, its not posted anywhere, and technically I've barely started writing it, its almost entirely outline rn, but I do have a p3 fantasy au thats just... fucking massive. Its a huge project just from the outline i have, long even in comparison to CC, so long that I doubt I'd ever finish it to the point where I've barely started it.

What are your writing strengths?

Combat. I write a damn good fight scene and I know it. I take a lot of pride in that. I also tend to have a pretty solid grasp of pacing on an overall level for longer fics. Per chapter pacing gets a bit more eh, but the overall pacing of arcs and stuff for my longer fics, I generally know what I'm doing.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I never know when to shut the fuck up! This is a problem I've known I've had for years. I just let characters go on these long, internal monologues, which is only acceptable because I also write deeply introspective fics. However, it tends to slow chapters down a lot and after a bit, characters repeat themselves and its a problem.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fics?

I'm incapable bc I'm monolingual but I've always loved fics that use other languages! Maybe I can do that some day lol.

What was the first fandom you ever wrote for?

Yknow, if I dug far far far back in my ff.net account it would probably be Naruto? I think. My memory is fuzzy and I'm not actually going to go look. However, thats the first one I posted.

The *very* first fic i ever wrote, I have a very clear memory of for some reason. It was a FFX2/Series of Unfortunate Events crossover, I was in the fourth grade, I thought it was the coolest thing. Hm, memories.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written so far?

I actually have two answers for this, which, I know is against the spirit and rule of the question BUT. Too bad.

One is A Most Precious Thing, bc it was such an experience to write. Despite being 10 years old I still love it. It was, as I said above, an utter experiment. It is written entirely in 2nd person, which is not actually a choice? I made? Um, I tried, very hard in the beginning, to write in in my standard 3rd, and it didn't work. The story actively refused to be written as such and I kept ending up back in 2nd. And at some point I just gave up and wrote the rest of it as such. And it taught me, so much, about point of view and how that relates to emotional distance, and really, but trusting myself with my writing, that even if I can't say why this is happening, somewhere deep down there is a reason to it and I should trust that. As a writer who takes my craft very seriously, this one has a soft spot in my heart bc of all of that.

However, Crests Corrupted owns a piece of my soul that I will never get back. It is my thesis, my masterpiece, It has defined years of my life, I have poured hundreds of thousands of words into it, I have given it so much of my heart and my pain. It has redefined how I approach writing, it has shaped, totally, the style in which I write today. Even years from now, even years after I finally finish it whenever that is, I don't think I will ever be truly free of it. It is my favorite. How can't it be?

#asks #hello i ramble too much #tag game

[abubblingcandle]

⭐star⭐

Hiiiiiii, I just caught up on today’s chapter of Where The Hell Is The Karma so i would be remiss if I didn’t ask you to share something about it! I know it was longer than you expected and a struggle to finish- anything you want to share about that? specific scenes or character beats?

If you’d like something more general- I’m truly loving all the whump, both emotional and physical, so if you had anything you wanted to share on that, I’d love to hear it too!

Yay thank you! This chapter was a strange one for me because I plotted it out as I was writing chapter 1 and 2 so that I wasn't writing myself into a corner and in chapter 3 nothing would directly contradict what I had already written from Jamie's POV. Sooo ... when it came to writing Chapter 3 I thought I had a comprehensive plot outline that I just had to fill.

And then! As I was writing it (and I've never properly felt like this before) the characters sort of demanded their own moment in the spotlight. When I said "aw there's about 1000 words to go" I didn't have the Roy and Ruth scene, I didn't have the Simon scene, I didn't have the ransom discussions even in the plot outline. My brain just kept going, "yeah but how is this person dealing with this" and "yeah but if this thing happens how would each of these different people react" then when that turned into another paragraph it felt a disservice to not include it.

I had a little note around when they are going to Manchester that was "Roy muses about how much people love Jamie Tartt" and that sentence turned into like 5k of the chapter lol

(For the send me questions, directors cut asks)

#candle writes #ted lasso fanfic #karma tag #thank you for questions! #ask game #directors cut

[zmediaoutlet]

apologies if you've been asked this already, but! as a fic author, how was your experience with publishing 'a constant vow' weekly, chapter by chapter? did people seem to like it? did they read along with the chapters, or all at the end? I ask because some people say they never read WIPs, even scheduled ones, but it seems like a fun way to publish a longer work. so I'd love to hear your take on it. especially if you've ever done the opposite too (long fic all at once)

I have done the opposite too, and I have to say that this one worked better parted out the way it was -- but that's partly because of the kind of fic it is.

I mean there are a lot of competing factors here. Some people only read <5k jill opportunities; some people won't get out of bed for less than 20k. Some people will just never ever click on a WIP because they've been burned before, and I get it -- hell, I've been burned and been the person doing the burning. Here I was helped by the fact that, for the jillin' crowd, each chapter by nature of the plot did include a sex scene, so even if they were reluctant they got that hit. Plus, each chapter was a satisfying size -- I think the smallest was ~9k, longest was about ~20k or so? So, that helped.

It was also really nice to have those people who were willing to click on a WIP, because -- frankly -- to have the sheer amount of words and effort being expended, literal months of effort, dropping all at once and being met with a "thanks!" would have been (has been) heartbreaking. So, those people who were willing to click on a WIP actually reading along with each chapter and leaving comments made it feel less like a waste of time, lol. And it did actually provide a goad to finish, even if I got hit by a wallop of depression at exactly the wrong time and had my schedule wrecked. 😬 Still. I'm really glad that I did break it up and post it slowly, because it means that people actually reacted to some of the plot elements and twists as they were happening. Plus, on a purely selfish level, the updates provided seven opportunities for people to see it and actually engage. Purely for feedback -- way better.

That said, and getting back to the first thing up there -- that's because of the *kind* of fic it is. There's an actual plot, more or less, and it worked to be broken up into discrete chapters, some of them even with cliffhangers. I've written 40k+ fics before where I didn't see a feasible spot to break them up into chapters -- like, for the craft of writing, there wasn't a good reason -- so they just got dropped as is. (And got the resulting way lower level of feedback you'd expect.) I have another long WIP that I'm thinking about trying to pick back up, and it won't make sense to be broken up. I'll just have to live with that, though; I wouldn't want to introduce an artificial pause, just for the lulz.

So -- on balance, I'd say: if there's a reason to break it up into chapters, do it up. You're actually-popular so you'll probably get way more uptake & trust, especially if it's going out on a schedule. Several people commented that they liked the serialized element, as an old-school way to approach fic. Plus, people might comment, aka the only reason to do anything. :)

#answers #writing #i don't really have any way of knowing how many people did what #i.e. how many read along and how many just waited #because the people who actually comment are such a tiny &age #but the people who bothered to read along #and who let me know their thoughts #are Actual Heroes #so it's good to encourage those people lol

[beingatoaster]

For the writing meme! 20, 30, and 32 :D✨

20. Do you work on a single project or many at the same time? How does that work for you?

It varies! I tend to have a bunch of projects "open"--right now I have over 20 pieces I consider WIPs--but most of them will not be active at any given moment. Generally I have 4-5 active projects at a time that I hop between (I consider anything I've opened and worked on multiple times in the past month "active"), but especially with longer works I will often hyperfocus and do nothing but that one project for a week or two before switching back to the larger rotation.

It works... variably? I tell people I write very slowly and this is why, because I'm almost never working on just one thing (I actually write very quickly during those hyperfocus-on-one-project periods), but I am a lot less likely to go into slumps where I avoid writing or can't write if I have multiple projects in rotation! So in the long term it feels more effective because I'm writing more regularly, even though individual works get finished much more slowly than the few times I've hyperfocused long and hard enough to finish a longer piece in one sweep.

(Something under 5k-8k I can usually bang out in one sitting, or two close together, and in fact that's generally the better approach for me with anything of that length because I don't keep good notes when I'm planning something that short. XD;; So I don't count that as part of the rotation, that's just a break from everything else.)

30. Describe a fic that almost happened, but then it didn’t.

I actually very rarely seriously start things I don't finish eventually, though that completion time can be months or years. But I did get everything together to write a fic about Isgrac's dad's death and the immediate aftermath--that's what I was asking Bea about hobgoblin funerals about some months back--and had all the scenes I wanted to do planned and all the points I wanted to hit. So it was very much in a state to be written, insomuch as my sort of prep goes! And I... didn't actually have the stomach for it, as I'd envisioned it. :x (So y'all got Osdi's life-long death-cascade instead, since I had gone and gotten those cultural details.)

32. Do you have a word/expression that you always use in your writing?

I am trying to filter it out more since I've caught it because I use it way too much, but if I'm not paying attention I will drop a "can't help but" and variants ("can't stop herself from," "can't resist the urge to," etc.) every other paragraph or so during character interactions. I also have noticed a "But ___. And ___." sentence-pair construction I like using that I haven't tried as hard to filter because I don't overuse it to the same extent and I do kind of like it?

#parental death tw

[themandilorian]

f/m/k but with the last three fic bookmarks

Thank you for the tag @tea-brigade and the lovely words! I was so sad when I thought you were killing my mood ring apocalypse hair fic and then you turned it around! I should never have doubted you 🥹🥹🥹

disclaimer: these are all my ao3 bookmarks. I actually don't bookmark a lot of things, anything longer than 5k words that I like I download them, so that leaves series (that I also download, but bookmark as well to remind myself) and shortish one-shots occupying my bookmarks.

And then that magic man he come to town by @captain-aralias: right off the bat I'm cheating. I know it's a series all three fics in it are SO GOOD. Probably my top five favourite things I've ever read in this fandom and that's saying a lot because there are SO MANY good fics just from aralias alone! For this one, 25 years old Simon has to go back to Watford to finish some credits before he can become the Mage. Baz is now a teacher there and they build their relationship up slowly. It's glorious to see more assured, forgiving Simon and Baz and see how perfectly they fit together. The flirting is top-notch and the two epilogues are so sexy and fun. I think I reread this at least three times in six months.

supernova symphony by xivz: such a charming, sweet, steamy fic! Again it's about older Simon and Baz and their lives together. It's a smutty fic, but the author managed to pack so much tenderness and domesticity in it. It's love as an afterthought, a foregone conclusion. I absolutely adore it.

Snowvians Unite by @bookish-bogwitch: short and sweet! It's about Lady Ruth's past meeting with very drunk teenage Baz where he makes him promise to introduce the boy he loves to her one day. It's brilliantly done in less than 600 words. Bogwitch has a very quirky sense of humor and a brilliant ability to actually put that on paper.

SO NOW THE VERDICT. I'm going to copy korinne and say Snowvians Unite killed me with the sweetness and hilarity! I will have to marry And then that magic man he come to town because I don't think I can live without this fic! It's a 'til death do us part kinda fic, baby. That leaves me with supernova symphony for sexy time. Who'd have guessed <3

Tagging anyone that wants to play! I tried tagging people only to realize that everyone I know has already played. I seriously love this fandom's tradition of gushing about things we love and building each other up :)

#fic rec #carry on fic rec

[punemy-spotted]

The Price You Pay

Pairing: Mob!Steve Rogers x Reader

Warnings: Non-con/Dub-con, mentions of murder, unclear timeline, blackmail, unprotected sex, fingering (F!receiving), smut, esoteric references to past abuse, manipulation, Dark!Fic

Words: 5.2k (holy fuck?)

Summary: You need his help. He names his price.

Notes: This is for @stargazingfangirl18 and her incredible 5K Soft!Dark Challenge and I can't believe I wrote over 5k words for a oneshot, making this the longest piece I've ever written. I took a blend of prompts: Mob!AU; “When I woke up this morning, I certainly didn’t think my day would end like this;” and “That’s a big favor you’re asking for, I think you need to make it worth my while.”

And this was intended to be a oneshot but now I can't stop thinking about it so thanks Siri, I think this is now a part of my WIPs too! Your work is amazing and I had a blast being able to take part in this!

As usual, my work is 18+ ONLY, Minors DO NOT INTERACT

You went to him first.

You went to him, handed them your business card and I want to speak to Steve Rogers.

Honestly they almost threw you out with an extra hole in your head but then the man of the hour walked right in.

So now you’re here. Now you’re here, sitting across a gorgeous dining table with a ten-course meal laid out and honestly you’re surprised they didn’t tie your wrists to the arms of the chair while you watch him eat and take in the look of those baby blue eyes scanning you over.

He even brought you non-alcoholic rosé, when you said you didn’t drink.

So.

So.

You wanted to talk to me?

Yeah, I do. Thought you’d just sit me in your office, have a consultation.

I like breaking bread with new friends. Have a nice dinner, get the wine flowing — of course, that’s not gonna loosen your tongue, but we’ll forgive it.

Oh. Cool, I like being forgiven.

He laughs at that one and the room, strumming with tension, snaps into amusement. So do you, cracking a half smile on dark red lips, before swallowing down the lump of anxiety threatening to break through and destroy everything. You need this. You need this and you can’t let anything — not your nervousness, not your morals, not him — stop you. You need this and it needs to be done and if this is what justice is in this fucking city then so be it.

Well, sweetness, you’ve got my attention. You want to talk business or pleasure?

That one makes you laugh, a little sharp and a little cruel, and the curling smirk on his face gets a little furrowed because he hears it too — pain.

It could be both, you say finally, picking up the glass of rosé-that-wasn’t, if your reputation is as real as they say it is.

He lifts a bite of cheesecake into his mouth and lets it melt on his tongue while he watches you, somewhere between impressed and incensed. You know the look — you saw it the last time he met you in court, but you weren’t there as allies then. Never thought you’d come to me, he admits finally, sounding halfway bemused at the idea, but you’re full of surprises, aren’t you, Counsel?

You wince, or maybe smirk, eyes on the man before you.

It’s a game, a dance, a ruse, and the woman you thought you were thirteen months ago when you put four of Steve Rogers’s best men in jail for fifteen years — fifteen years longer than any District Attorney had ever managed to do before you, and you were just the rookie they handed a shit case to — is leagues different from the woman you are now, seated prim and proper in the lion’s den.

You’re not innocent. That’s not been your game for years — this life doesn’t leave room for innocence, it tears at you, leaves you tired and broken and ill.

Your colleagues learned to fear him a long time ago, the man before you. Captain America, leading the city, the country, the world into a new era of high tech crime all under his thumb. It’s a pretty shiny shield, the one that sits behind him, but mirrors are black on the other side and his soul is dark as coal.

You’re not an angel yourself, and this deal with the Devil isn’t for anyone but you.

I need someone taken care of.

So you come to me? I thought you were a lady of morals, Counsel.

Certain kinds of morals.

You can see him smile, see the way he raises his glass, the glimmer of malice and amusement in his eyes. So tell me. What’s the name?

You give it.

He’s not in the city, your target, but he will be. A Judge, an activist, real tough-on-crime-sweet-on-justice type of shit. You don’t tell him the reasons why, because those are yours, but you tell him the name. You tell him he’s a problem, you tell him he’s dangerous, you tell him you’ll pay to have him taken care of, you tell him you don’t want to practice in front of that black, black robe.

And he smiles like the Devil he is, watches you with a grin and drinks his whiskey in one last shot before slamming it down, Real woman of the law, aren’t you?

You said that when we met the first time.

He’s a hunter, you can see it in his eyes. That lion’s mane might be tamed right now but it won’t be for long and you’re playing with wild animals. The eyes on you are ice and daggers, daring you to do the one thing everyone in the office has been begging you not to do.

(Drop the charges, Rookie, the case is just to get your face in front of the judge.)

You upped the charges.

(Rookie, you don’t know what you’re dealing with, there’s other cases.)

You subpoenaed his phone records.

(Rookie, don’t make me drag you off this case!)

You won.

You had no witnesses and a jury you had to drag in from god-knows-where after you proved, over and over again, that he’d paid off the cohort in the courtroom. Finding people with nothing to lose and a desire to do their civic duty wasn’t harder than you thought — it was exactly as impossible as you expected.

But you did it.

That’s what you do, isn’t it? Push and push and fight, claw your fingers at the ledge and pull yourself up, you pay for your crimes in your blood, sweat and tears you pay for the things you could have done then and didn’tdo.

You pay.

And sometimes, that payment bounces back.

And when it was all said and done, when the closing statements were delivered, when the Jury came back out and the Judge — hands shaking, mouth agape, eyes wide — read out the verdict no one expected, you… didn’t feel any better, did you? There was no justice for you in that room, just the searing glare of ice-blue eyes and the burning of your steel spine.

Real woman of the law, aren’t you?

First words he said to you, while the courtroom emptied out and you stood there, facing the man you’d just made an enemy of with your briefcase in your hand and your eyes aflame.

I did my job.

Did you? Is that what you think your job is?

My job is justice, unflinching and blind, Mr. Rogers. I don’t care how much power you have or how afraid you leave this city, I’m going to do my job.

You could always let justice turn a blind eye.

Yeah. I could, but that wouldn’t make this any fun, would it? Thank you for the win, Mr. Rogers — I’m sure I won’t get many more.

You leave him with a smile on his face and the scent of your perfume in his memories.

He leaves you with the pride of victory in your bones and a reminder that your strife could be worth it.

One day.

How do you plan to fill that pit, the one you tossed the corpses of your old self into? The one you let them claw up out of, to haunt you? Remind you?

You’re digging your own grave and you know it, but you won’t let Steven Grant Rogers be the first one to toss a handful of dirt over your corpse.

But now here you are.

In his dining room, enjoying dessert and some sort of after-meal coffee. In need of him…

This might almost have been a date, if not for the topic of conversation.

So. You want a Judge taken out. What if he’s already on my payroll?

Why would you keep a dead man in your pocket?

You like the sound of his laugh, and you don’t even have the excuse of wine to fall back on when it warms your core. Don’t admit it though, don’t say it aloud, don’t let him get an in. Be smart, cross your legs tighter, keep your eyes on the prize.

You’re so close to the finish line.

That’s a big favor you’re asking for, Counsel, I think you need to make it worth my while.

Worth your while?

I’m not a charity. And since you put the guy I usually use to handle these things behind bars for a few years—

You know I can get him out too.

That’s not payment, that’s putting things right.

You take a drink. Steady on, girl.

I’m leaving the DA’s office.

That stops him.

Oh that stops him good, and he looks fascinated. Interested. You’ve said something he can use as leverage and it’s not just about a job. That smirk on his face is smug and his eyes are darker and he has to know the impact that look has.

Can’t falter, don’t falter, don’t give in.

Am I allowed to ask why?

No.

You’ve done your research. You just don’t know why you’re thinking about it now. Steven Grant Rogers, “Captain America,” leader of a crime family that had too many names to stamp out, bolstered by a mad scientist, a military man through-and-through who turned New York into his own private base against whatever stood against his way.

Get in his good graces and you’re set for life. Get in his good graces and you’re safe, you’re protected, you’re good.

Get on his bad side and you only make that mistake once.

There are no second chances in this game, and here you are, asking for one.

So what? You leave the DA’s office, you leave yourself open to me — you think leaving New York is going to be the thing that stops me, Counsel?

No.

Then what?

Breathe. Steady.

I know you gave me that win on purpose — you could have taken out my last jury cohort. This isn’t about the four men… and you know I’ll get them out. This is something else, but I’m not here to ask about what or why.

He falters just briefly, like he’s surprised you knew, but the crack in his mask smooths itself over as soon as it forms and he’s back to watching you, nodding along in silence while you breathe and watch him and keep talking.

But even then. I got four of your guys in prison. And I know how your organization works — I subpoenaed the documents, remember? Your lawyers are good, but they’re not used to people asking the right questions. You want someone to seal up the cracks you need someone who actually knows what to look for.

You have more than his attention, you have his interest, and now he’s leaning in a little. Imperceptibly, but enough. Scanning over you from across the table, like he’s thinking how you managed to get so impertinent in the face of the likes of him but that’s the thing — when the only thing you have left to lose is your life, you’ll risk everything.

So what are you offering?

Breathe. Don’t. Stammer.

Myself.

The chair scrapes and suddenly there’s the clicking of guns, aimed and ready until his hand rises up and he stops them and he’s stalking towards you.

This is the lion’s den, sweetness.

The stakes are higher and you ought to be braver and he’s got your chin in his hand before you have a chance to react, dragging you to your feet. Do you know what you’re offering me, Counsel? Low and hissed and hungry, like those perfect teeth might be sinking into your throat in the next moment.

Oh, you have no idea.

You get me. On your payroll — you know. The offer you sent me a year ago.

You think it’s still open?

If it wasn’t, you wouldn’t have met with me.

The chuckle in your face makes your cheeks warm and you’re looking more flushed than you would like, the open shoulders of your dress suddenly feeling a lot more like a mistake the more you realize just what kind of meal he might make out of you tonight.

We might need to have a discussion about your workplace duties, Counsel.

You don’t notice the hand near your thigh until it’s too late, sliding up the soft fabric of your skirt until it’s squeezing your ass, until it’s jerking you towards him, until you’re pressed against his chest and the hand on your chin is now hooked around the back of your neck, thumb pushing your jaw until you’re forced to look at him. Won’t lie, when I woke up this morning, I certainly didn’t think my day would end like this, having your pretty little body in my arms,and you can look as indignant as you want but he’s got the upper hand and you only thought you were two steps ahead of him.

You think I haven’t thought about what it’d be like to put you in your place, Counsel? You’ve got a smart mouth — I wanna know what else it can do.

He doesn’t give you a chance to use that mouth to lash at him, lips sliding over yours, swallowing that indignant yelp with a punishing kiss. Nipping at the plushness of your lower lip until you open your mouth and yield to him with a sigh of reluctant surrender, let his tongue slide past that barrier for him to explore. He’s got his fingers wound through your hair, just a little too tight and whether the whimper in your chest is because of the pain or because of the want, he doesn’t care.

Knew you’d be sweet, Counsel… softly, when he pulls back to look at you, take a look at those love-swollen lips and your ruined lipstick, the pretty way you pant at him already, the heat burning your cheeks. Pay no attention to the slick warmth between your thighs, pay no attention to the way he makes you burn already, pay no attention to how your fingers have curled into the lapel of his coat to hold yourself steady, pay no attention to how you suddenly miss the pressure of his lips.

All that smart-talk and now you’re quiet, Counsel? F’I knew it just took a kiss to get you to shut up, I would’ve done that at trial, he’s purring in your ear, soft and sweet and you should push at his chest, so uncurl your fingers girl and push.

I didn’t say I was selling my body, there’s your harshness, and there he is, laughing at you again, the grip on your hair jerking your head back until you’re looking into those dagger-cold eyes again.

You don’t make the rules here, Counsel, I do, and you need me more than I need you. So if you want to make sure your Judge can’t start wreaking havoc on your career… you might want to get used to readjusting it for me. I promise I’ll make you feel nice, if you let me…

And if I don’t?

Then I take what I want and I don’t feel bad for not holding up my end of the bargain. Your choice, Counsel, you cum willingly and I’ll give you everything you want. Don’t, and it’ll hurt you more than it hurts me.

That’s not a threat, that’s a promise, and suddenly you’re more scared than you ever thought you’d be, wondering if you’ll need to sell another part of your soul to take him down after. How much of yourself will you put up as collateral to get justice for the wrongs you were never able to correct?

You’re afraid.

Oh sweetness, you’re afraid.

Here? Now?

No, Counsel, we’re gonna do this right, aren’t we? You wanna be in bed with me, I’ll take you to bed with me. Come on, say it. Say the word.

Say no. Say no, rail and fight, stamp your heels into the expensive leather of his shoes, jam your knee into the sensitive between his legs, scream and yell and tell him you will never let another man take advantage of you again to help you reach your goals. Do it. Do the thing you swore you would do the next time a man like him — men who think they can take anything from anyone, men who think they own the world and the women in it, men who think you aren’t strong enough to fight back — propositioned you just like this.

You’re selling your soul to get rid of a man just like this.

But that’s coiling heat in your core that wasn’t there the last time, was it? That’s want. That’s the realization that you like the way this predatory smile feels, that you like the way this one wants you. You’re not her, not scared and alone and helpless. You could fight back and run and maybe escape if you were lucky.

You could choose.

He’s let go of your hair to stroke your cheek with the backs of his fingers, soft and sweet, You gonna give me an answer, Counsel, or am I gonna have to take it?

Say something. Say no. Scream. Say no say no say no say— Yes.

It’s a whisper. A desperate, soft whisper. A helpless, lonely whisper. It’s enough.

He sweeps you around until you’re pressed with your back against his unyielding chest, feeling him flex with every movement, broad arm wrapped around your shoulders from the front. All of you are dismissed, and that’s when you remember there were others in the room with you. Others who just watched you concede to becoming Captain America’s newest plaything and the burn on your cheeks is more shame than lust. You pull at his arm briefly, futilely, earning a tighter hold for your efforts and a whispered don’t make me choke you, before you are half-walked, half-dragged out of the dining room.

The walk to his room is slow and agonizing as you’re pulled along, barely struggling but barely helping at the same time, tears sliding down your cheeks as you come to terms with what’s going to happen next — no one is going to save you tonight, no one’s going to interrupt and drag you out, this is your job and this is your place and here you are.

No one speaks. There’s no sound but the steady tap of your heels and his shoes on fine marble. Even your sobs are silent, even your breathing is muffled, until the stairs are traversed and the faintest click of a lock turning opens the door to the rest of your life.

You made a deal.

Time to pay.

Sit on the bed.

You move as if in a trance, and he watches your face, the hint of waterproof mascara failing to do its job, the smudged ruby red of your lipstick. Don’t give me that look, you knew what you were signing up for when you walked into this house, Counsel.

His hands are gentler than you’d expect, when he wipes away the streaks your tears leave down your pretty cheeks, coaxing you to look up at him, We’ll set ground rules later. Tonight? I wanna see if I can get that mouth of yours to beg for me.

It won’t, you snap without thinking, knifeblade sharp and cruel, ready for a fight again. He promised you that once, in a hiss you thought you’d misheard but no, you heard him just fine and now if he thinks he can quench your fire and have you pleading just because you sold your body for the prospect of revenge then he’s wrong.

Thing is, he laughs like that’s a challenge, and the hand holding your chin so gently is wrapped around your throat before you know it, silencing your voice with just the right application of pressure. I can do this all night, Counsel. Do you think you can last that long?

Fear. Anger. Indignation. You are fury made flesh and he is manipulating you with just the barest press of his palm and sliding over you, until you’re laid out there on soft sheets and he’s looming over you, splaying that big hand out and sliding it down your throat, over your chest, feeling the ruching of the fabric under his palm. You wrapped yourself up like a present for me, didn’t you sweetness?

The change in nickname isn’t lost on you but here you are, glaring up at him while he smiles so beatifically it leaves your blood boiling and your skin steadily warming. The rise and fall of your chest is hypnotic, every angry breath a swear you don’t utter, every inhale your protests dying in your throat. What can you say, what would you say, right now? There’s nothing that can change the way he looks at you, or the way his eyes flicker from ice to blue fire the more he takes stock of the pretty little thing he’s about to start sharing his bed with.

Fuck, you’re beautiful, that one shocks you, but not as much as the sudden rush of cold air when he tears the emerald green fabric of your dress down and reveals the soft swells of your breasts, nipples peaked from the sudden cold.

You don’t get much time to gasp, just something soft and strangled before he turns your voice to whimpers, wrapping lips around that pebbled tip and laving his tongue over sensitive flesh. Where are your words now, Counsel, while he threatens the softness of your chest with the scrape of his teeth, when he slides his hands over the round curve of your thighs and parts your legs so he can press himself between them, so he can press himselfagainst you? Where is the knife-dagger of your wit to protest each soft, suckling kiss to your skin, each press of his fingers like he could just squeeze his ownership of you into the plushness of your hips, into the sweet swell of your ass? What do you say to the dirty little thrust of his hips as he bucks with his own burning need, reminding you just how much this is for hispleasure as he will make it for yours.

You would, could, should push him off and instead what are you doing? Curling your fingers into the silk-smooth of his comforter, desperate to writhe out of your own skin away from the burning pressure between your thighs, the foreign, unfamiliar heat you suddenly feel like you might be craving.

Anyone ever touch you like this before me, Counsel?Warm breath splays across your skin when he questions you, eyes fixed on yours and he waits. Answer him, answer him, tell him he’s nothing, tell him you’ve had better, lie and destroy that ego, lie lie lie lie—

Nnnh—no.

He looks like you’ve just told him the best news of his life, eyes wide and blown with lust, Oh is that right? You’re saying no one’s ever touched you this good? Or just no one’s ever touched you at all?

You don’t have to answer. The furious blush on your cheeks? The way your eyes slide away from his? The way you writhe, trying to press your thighs together to relieve the pressure and finding the effort futile? If the man’s grin could get any wider, it would, right now. Oh sweetness, we’re going to have so much fun exploring your body together…

He pulls back just enough to take a look at you, already flushed and writhing and overwhelmed and if he could take a picture of this right now he would. He’ll save that for later though. Tonight? Tonight is just the two of you, and his hands are back to your skirt, pushing the tight fabric up over your round hips and revealing the lace of your panties… just before he rips them off, to the sound of your indignant yelp Steve!

You’re going to call me Captain, sweetness, we’re not close enough to use my name just yet.

No. No you’re not, and he’s not sure you’ll ever be — he rather likes the idea of hearing you whimper out his title when he gets you desperate and wanting.

He touches, slow and steady, watching you try to jerk away and tutting at you when you do, fingers at your delicate nerves like an assault on your pleasure. Bite your lip, bite back the moans, whine at him like he’s wounded you, You’re so wet, sweetness, you’re so desperate for me aren’t you, as he palms his cock to relieve the pressure on himself. You’re going to beg before he does and he’s patient, he’ll last the night.

St-stop it, it’s too— he shushes you ahtahtaht and rests his free hand on your mound, holding you down so his probing, inspecting fingers can take stock of the velveteen plushness of your delicate cunt. It’s too much, too much and you want to scream the moment he presses one finger into you, already overwhelmed, already so tightly wound the barest touches are unraveling you steadily.

You’re such a pretty thing, all desperate and needy, sweetness. You wanna cum already, don’t you? So busy, never gave anyone the chance to fuck that stuck-up bitch right out of you, did they? It’s almost pitying, isn’t it, the way he talks, hums at you while you’re reduced to a whining, whimpering mess so soon, so desperate for the release he’s on the edge of denying you, feeling you flexing around his finger and then the second leaping jolt of your body when another joins the inspection. Taking careful stock of the pretty cunt he owns now, and he’s careful to curl his fingers just right as he seeks the spot to hammer just to get you to scream.

You don’t, not yet, but that’s okay too, because he sees the way you take desperate hold of the sheets, the way your eyes roll backwards just slightly, the way you strain against his heavy hand to arch your back. Gotta tell you, sweetness, I imagined you under me a thousand and one ways but this one, right now? Tops the list. You ready to beg for me?

Do it. Do it and end your pleasurable torment. Do it and be released from the pressure, the coiling want. Surrender to him. Let him have you.

The white hot rush of your orgasm is not unexpected to him, his curling, cruel fingers having found the sweetness of your g-spot, but — you, too busy climbing the ranks to think of your own pleasure, too busy demanding your due from an unjust world explore your own warmth beyond that of a memory of a college hookup you would rather forget — you left breathless and wanton in the heat of the explosion he draws out of you, mewling something desperate and pleading against your own will and the song of it fills his ears like it’s all he’s ever wanted. There it is, and I thought we’d be here all night. A thumb flickers over the nerves at your entrance and you practically jump, something between a yelp and a moan escaping your lips.

First one’s just a treat, sweetness. Now on, you cum when I say you do, understand?

You nod.

Oh you nod, and you are lost, here and now. Sensitive and broken and there is so little of that steel spine here, writhing in his sheets and ohyou don’t know the things you do to him.

Think you can go again, sweetness? He’s purring, smug, twisting fingers stretching you slowly, muttering under his breath about how fucking tight you are around his fingers, how good you’re going to feel for him, and the smugness on his face is slowly fading into a dark consternation, brows furrowed like he’s somehow angry at you for being plush and delicate and fuckable.

You’re almost begging him to stop, and yet the pressure is building again, the twisting, coiling heat that leaves you breathless and mewling and he looks like he might be trying to immortalize this moment forever. Say it, sweetness. Say you need me. Beg me for my cock.

That’s it.

That’s what you need to, you need to beg, you need to give in. No more fighting, no more arguing no more —

Please…

Please what, sweetness, come on now. You got a way with words. The snarl is so barely contained.

Please, Captain, please just…

What do you need, sweetness? The fingers are relentless, the buzz in your nerves is overwhelming, you can barely even hear yourself talk, much less him.

Please just fuck me, Captain, I need your cock! It’s hurried and it’s crude and it’s desperate and it’s exactly what he wants as just another wall crumbles and you fall off your pedestal right into his arms.

He’s barely able to resist the buck of his hips, the need to be inside you, the knowledge that you are soft and velvet and you could be all over his senses just like this.

When did he free his cock? You don’t know, you just know it’s practically salvation when he sinks into you, when he fills you like you’ve been desperate for and Oh sweetness…pours from his lips just as you hiss out something like praise right back at him.

You’re so full and he’s so gentle, at first, like you’re made of crystal in his arms, like the slow shifting of his hips might have you shattering underneath him if he’s not careful. Cradling you, even, sliding your legs around his narrow hips as he leans in and takes a hungry kiss from your wanting, whimpering mouth.

Love this look on you, all wrapped around me, whispered low and slow into your ear, sweetness you have no idea how good you look…

Melt into those compliments, melt into him, because the way he’s holding you is divine and you can feel him so deep in you it’s making your head spin. When did your arms end up around him? When did you start clinging to him like an anchor, start winding your fingers through his hair, start leaving the marks of your nails on his back to the sound of his own needy groaning?

He noses your cheek and leaves a mark of ownership on your neck with hungry lips, knowing you’ll bruise a beautiful flower right over your pulsebeat and continuing the steady assault on your nerves, cunt-first.

Harder. Faster. More.

And oh, sweetness, you do shatter.

You shatter all around him, you shatter into something divine and rapturous, full of him and filled with him and he cums so deep inside you as you do, still fucking you through your joined climax, hips rutting and breath hitching and nearly furious at you for the way his vision whites out too, the way he feels like he can Never get enough and so he hisses that at you like an accusation while his thoughts reorient back to reality, back to smugness, back to the control you took from him while he tried to strip you of yours.

In the end, as he pulls away from you and sinks to the side of you, watching your sweet expression as you return to the reality of your new situation, he is satisfied… thoroughly.

Oh yeah, I think we can make this a working relationship, Counsel.

#siris5ksoftdarkchallenge #steve rogers x reader #mob!au #mob!steve #steve rogers x you #steve rogers smut #dark!fic #dark captain america #captain america #writing challenge

[fanficwritersinterviewed]

ITWW, Bunnywest & DiscontentedWinter

<<This post is a part of a longer conversation about fanfic writers, how they view fanfic, and their writing process. All views are the fanfic writers’ own, and whatever fanfic they choose to write is entirely their own decision. No judgement value will be placed on fic content. These conversations are meant to provide insight for other fanfic writers in whatever stage they are at in their writing life>>

In the Weeds Wednesday

(with Bunnywest & DiscontentedWinter, @bunnywest​ & @thisdiscontentedwinter​​)

Walk me through your process. When you write a fanfic how does it progress? Are there notes? Outlines? Vibes? Wine? How does it go for you? B: HAHAHAHAHAHHA notes. I think I can reliably say that we are both pantsers. For me, it can start with a single image or scene, and I sort of build off that. I'm always convinced I will never have another idea and then my brain goes "warlord peter virgin bride stiles arranged marriage with werewolves,” and bam, I’m off. We had one memorable collab where the suggestion was made at lunchtime, and by the time I finished work at 5pm, two-thirds of it was written and they were saying "Hurry up you’re writing Peter!" and Winter was copy/pasting while I was still typing. It's a quick and dirty process!

DW: Yeah, with me it tends to be one scene, and suddenly I've built a 60k fic around it. One single plot bunny, and I'm off! I tend to write and post a chapter a day, no slowing down. With a collab, which tend to be shorter, we write the whole thing before posting. We have a Discord conversation, and pick which scenes we're doing, and then read through at the end to make sure we haven't contradicted each other, basically. But we have pretty similar tastes, and pretty similar ways we view the characters, so I don't think there's ever been any clashes or anything. And yes, we are both very much pantsers.

Okay. So. For those (ahem ME) that tend to write short and can't conceive of writing long let alone long AND fast, how does that happen? B: Honestly, there are days where five hundred words is a win because every one of them is like drawing teeth, and other days 5k is no problem. There's no rhyme or reason to it. I mean, I have the opposite problem. Write short? I don't know her.

DW: Same. I started what I thought was going to be a 10k hurt/comfort fic once. It wound up at about 60k, because it turns out that when you put that much hurt into a fic, you really, really can't shortchange the characters, or the readers, on the comfort part. It just wouldn't have felt right to finish it up any earlier. When I'm writing and posting a chapter a day, my house is even more of a mess than usual. It's 6pm and I'm still in my pyjamas from that morning. I have zero work/life balance in the middle of a fic, which is why I don't do them that often! Because I tend to do nothing else. It's like doing Nanowrimo every time. Except, ironically, I've never finished Nanowrimo.

B: I am a morning writer - if I can start in the morning I can go all day. If I have to adult and do other stuff first? It's much harder.

DW: I'm an afternoon and evening writer. Which works great when we're cowriting! You come back to the doc, and it's grown! Basically we have a Discord chat each day, and figure out where we want the story to go.We have a vague idea of a starting point, and a few things that will happen in the middle, and an ending point. Whether we stick to it or not is another story! We'll just dive in and see what happens.

B: When we collaborate we have a twelve-14 hour window of productivity. And we both think the other one has written more and nobody wants to be the slacker on the group project. So, we chat in Discord and side comments as we write, and sometimes we tweak and play, but a lot of the time we just jump in when the cursor blinks in the same spot for too long which either means they're stuck, or the dog has escaped. Could be either.

Do you use an outline? DW: I don't think I've ever plotted a fanfic in my life!

B: [With Original Content] We normally have a plot point doc.

(image: spare, stream of concious notes for original content novel)

DW: You can see how sparse it actually is! Because usually, despite our best intentions, we end up doing most of it in Discord conversations. I should point out that I normally forget we have a plot point doc, and disregard it entirely. Then Bunny reminds me we have a plot point doc. And I realise that every fantastic idea I just came up with, she already had several weeks ago.

B: Or I go "Have you read the doc? You just come up with the same ideas twice.”

Where do you get inspiration when the creativity tank is low? Is it ever low? You two seem like runaway trains when it comes to generating words. B: Oh it definitely runs low, which is when we leech off each other and sometimes the characters do what the hell they want, and do the work for you.

DW: Yeah, I used to think that you needed a Big Idea to write a book, but I've decided that no, that's not true at all. What you need is characters that readers will connect with, or just a fun way of telling your story, and readers will enjoy it. So I think as long as you know your characters, and you make them the heart of your story (which is especially easy in romance) then the rest of the story will build around that.

Is that true in both OC and fanfic do you find? The characters lead and the stories follow? B: Absolutely true. If your characters don't evoke some sort of reaction in readers, nobody will care what happens to them.

DW: I like to let the characters drive the plot. I think you get a stronger story that way. You can have the most intricately plotted story in the world, but if the characters are cardboard cutouts, nobody will care. Character is way more important to build on.

B: This! I've read fanfic that is technically and grammatically perfect and about as interesting as watching paint dry, because there's no engagement. The characters are being moved around but they haven't come to life. Give me a fic where the author's note reads: "Well Chris Argent wasn't even meant to be IN this chapter, but he insisted.” Then I know this story is gonna have some life to it. And god, give me flawed characters!  I don't want ‘perfect'. I want someone who talks out their ass when they're upset, or doesn't check with their significant other when they do a thing.

Usually I ask people to say something nice about their own writing, but how about this time, since there’s two of you, say something nice about your own and each others’ writing. B: Oh, Winter is the goddess of hurt/comfort. She can squeeze your heart in her fist with half a dozen words and you'll thank her for it and ask for more. But then she'll make it right again and it's gorgeous. I'll never recover from “Sanctuary” or “Painted Wooden Letters.” I remember you commenting on the “Gentleman” verse and almost passing out from hero worship.

DW: I love the way that Bunny can take a trope and make me utterly invested in finding out what happens next, like it's the first time I've ever read an arranged marriage fic, or fated mates! I think the first fanfic I read of hers was the “Home” verse, and I got excited every time there was an update. She reeled me in, hook, line, and sinker! And bonus points for the way she writes snarky Peter Hale. All the snark, all the time!

Okay, so that was easy, but you still need to say something nice about yourself. DW: Oh, crap.

Yuuuup. That’s everyone's reaction. B: Um....Okay. I also think I do pretty well at snark and dialogue. And I like to add a twist to the usual tropes, and I think I do pretty well at that, too

DW: I love the reactions I get from readers, and knowing that I made their day a little brighter by sharing my stories with them! I don't have any other superpowers, but that feels a lot like one!

B: "People like my stuff' doesn't count, lol!

Hahaha! Okay, yes. THANK you I was gonna let it slide but… DW: Ha! Alright, how about I think that I'm pretty good at pulling a bunch of plot threads together in the end and getting the landing right!

B: Oh you absolutely are - it's almost like you've planned it!

DW: If only! I think I do at least 90% of my work in my subconscious. For me, it's a little like putting a jigsaw puzzle together when you don't have the picture on the box. It gets clearer as you go along! But I do think that even though I say I'm not a plotter, it's just that most of the plotting happens in the back of my mind, and it's there when I need it. And when you're finished, you look at it, and say, "Oh, now I see it!"

B: That is actually a thing by the way. What you think is a random detail turns out to be essential three chapters later and you're like "Good job, past me!"

What advice can you offer to the newbie writers out there, or the ones that are struggling with it? B: I'd say write because you enjoy it, write what you want to write, and tag, tag, tag! Nobody wants to cause someone to have a dissociative episode because they stumbled across unlabelled non-con. Also, don't underestimate the enjoyment your fic gives to other people. Oh! And a tip for young players: change your doc colour to a soft blue and save your eyes

DW: The best thing about wanting to write is that the more you do it, the better you get at it. But also, try not to judge the value of your writing on kudos or hits alone. It can be hard, especially in a bigger fandom, to feel like anyone is reading your stuff at all. Just remember your first and most important audience is yourself. You're writing for you first.

B: Ooh yes. don't compare yourself to anyone else, because sometimes those numbers are a big fat lie. I've read fics that are the most popular out there and gone...eh? I don't love it. And I've read things with far less kudos and been 😍

DW: Exactly this!

#fanfic writers interviewed #in the weeds wednesday #bunnywest #discontentedwinter #fanfic #fanfic writing

[apfelhalm]

Dear Self,

this is a list of things I've learned about myself and my writing habits over the past couple of months. It's a list you're probably gonna need once the high of being in a new fandom fizzles out or life gets stressful again and you need to scrape for every bit of time and/or creativity to write.

MAKE YOUR SHITTY POTS. Write. Write anything, doesn't matter. Keep doing it, keep clinging to it. You're miserable without it. Whether you will one day write a book or not, you'll never get there if you don't keep practising.

I don't know how it's gonna work out once work and/or social life will be more demanding, but TRY to squeeze in as much writing as possible. Unfortunately, it's like doing sports: the less you do it, the worse it gets.

Read. Your mind is like an engine, it can't work, if you don't feed it. Yes, that also includes reading fanfic. Nothing better to get new ideas.

You're a character writer first and a plot writer second. Find yourself characters to care about and the ideas will follow.

Trick yourself into writing by writing tag novels and then snippets or prompts. (Prompts by others help tremendously, actually.)

I know, longer/multichapter fics are intimidating and an annoying commitment, but trick yourself into writing by just starting. It's much harder to abandon them once you're already 5K words in. You've finished fics longer than 20K words in the past, YOU CAN DO IT AGAIN.

You're a slow writer. It's just a fact. Don't try and compare yourself to others who can write thousands of words in a couple of days. IT'S NOT A RACE (I know you think it is).

Don't try to think too hard about what you still need to write, try to look at what you've already written (it's usually more than you expected).

That fuzzy feeling in your brain when you can't focus? You know the one. Get off your PC, you won't get anything done in that state. Do something useful or fun instead, until your mind is awake and focused again. Alternately, if it's late, get the fuck to bed. (Incidentally, the fuzzy feeling will occur less if you get more sleep. Insane, I know.)

Caffeine helps, but the desired effect will take 1-2 hours to kick in. Do something else in the meantime.

Stay away from distractions. Unfortunately, pretty much everything is a distraction to you, so: neutral tab in the background, no music with lyrics (unless it's a song that's directly linked to what you're writing), STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM TUMBLR. Honestly, distractions are your main problem.

You need a while to get warm with writing, don't be too harsh on whatever's coming out until then.

EDITING IS EASIER THAN WRITING FROM SCRATCH. Finish that sentence/fic, no matter how awful it sounds at that moment. Also, let whatever you've written rest for a day or even more before you start editing.

BE IMPERFECT. It's still fucking fanfic, no one will care if that one sentence is polished to perfection or not. Have some fun.

I know you're deeply terrified your writing is garbage, but some people seem to like it, so it can't be that bad. SHUT UP, BRAIN.

#tess is rambling #this is very specific to my habits but if anyone can get something out of this go ahead #writing

[liljungie]

Young Blood | Mafia AU

▸Pairing : Jimin ↮ Reader ↮ Taehyung.

▸ ！warnings！= agnst × SMUT (kinda)

▸Word count: 5k

▸ Part Four : ❝ Ties that bind pt.2 ❞

Part One| Part Two | Part Three

▸Masterlist

A/N : you have no idea how much I appreciate you guys. I'm so thankful for each and everyone who takes the time to read this specific story your support leaves me speechless I hope I never disappoint you.

════════════════════════

You sigh as you put away the phone you turn to look at your daughter, she was still eating so you decided to go make her bed and tidy up around. You and jimin decided to meet up tomorrow morning he said taehyung assigned him a job he has to take care of today so your runaway plan had to be postponeded, if you were honest you felt like jimin was hesitating..yes he was the one who proposed the idea but you feel like he's starting to back out of it not that he said anything on the phone. But you can tell.

You loved him for so long and there was no one out there who knows him better than you do. You walk back downstairs to see taehyung sitting on the chair beside Luna's one arm was around her and the other was softly tracing her cheek. He had a small smile on his face as he talks to her. It was coherent to you. You weren't sure if you wanted to reveal yourself or not so you stayed where you are watching them from afar. Taehyung giggles as Luna embraces him and he tells her he loves her so much.

Seeing them like that tugged on your heart strings. Although taehyung was an asshole...he was still her dad. Did you really have the heart to rip her away from him? What's going to happen to him without Luna around? To him his world revolves around her, he's fighting his father to keep her safe. From what vivian told you. you think you can just up and leave with her like that...that easily? Yes Jimin loves Luna but no one can replace Taehyung. After all Blood is thicker than water...

You sigh as you make your way to the kitchen, you needed to bathe Luna before nighttime so she doesn't get sick like last summer, when taehyung saw you he stood up. You can tell he was hesitant to speak to you you ignore him tho as you picked Luna up "come on bath time" you say walking away with her in your arms. then he cleared his throat "I need to speak to you...please" you turned and looked at him and he held this look in his eyes you knew it was urgent so you nodded "I'll be in my office" he smiles briefly you can see how his eyes landed on the marks on your neck his face fell then he walked past you. He seemed so upset.

You furrow your eyebrows questioning his behavior mentally but taehyung is taehyung and you'll never figure him out. So you didn't think much about it. Probably another argument match. You placed Luna in the tub and filled it with warm water and bubbles "can I play for longer?" She asks with puppy eyes after awhile you sigh "not right now baby, dad wants to talk to me okay?" She pouts and looks away gathering her toys and putting them away as you rinse her hair with water before turning off the faucets grabbing her towel and wrapping her up with it while she was standing in the tub then you picked her up swiftly you sing along to a rhyme she was singing.

Finally she was dressed, hair brushed. you placed her on the couch and laid a blanket on her "I'll be right back so you can help me cook lunch okay?" You kiss her forehead as she nods. You walk away. nervousness take over you as your feet take you towards his office. You knock on the oak door and wait for him to let you in. You hear a faint 'come in'. You push the door open then close it behind you. not stepping further into the office incase he acts up. You can still runaway before he grabs you. Better safe than sorry you thought.

He looks up at you as you stand still your back pressed against the door. He sighs and lays back into his chair "please sit..." he sighs  "I'm comfortable like this.." he runs his temple "_____ please! Sit..." you roll your eyes and take a seat on a chair that was close to the door. Just incase. You weren't gonna deny it. You feared taehyung. Especially after last night.

He sighs "first of all I want to apologize for yesterday...I never meant to hurt you" your ears perked up at his words...did taehyung just apologize? No you were definitely dreaming. "It's just...I'm going through a lot right now...it's too much on me...for the first time ever I feel...beaten by my burdens" taehyung says as you stare at him.

Never in all those years you were married he ever sat down and vented his burdens with you. "I called vivian last night and she told me that you knew about my father wanting to take Luna in for training" you gulp as you nod your head. he nods "I want you to know that I'm filing a restraining order against him...my own father" he scoffs looking away from you biting his lip.

"it's so...weird...this is the first time I stood up for myself...it took me years to be able to do that and I did it in a court infront of a judge and everything" he laughs but you knew it was one of those sad laughs. "my father was so strict with me and so firm...he didn't feel like a father to be honest...he was a mentor...a teacher but in the worst way possible..instead of telling me to get up and fix my mistakes he used to beat me up for getting them wrong...he kept saying that 'a real man is never wrong and never makes mistakes'" he laughs again rolling his eyes.

You pressed your lips together in a thin line when you hear him take a deep breath. "...then you came" he smiles looks at you briefly before he looks away "I still remember the feeling I got when I saw you walk through the entrance behind him...you looked so pretty but you were so sad and scared...you mirrored me in every way except my family was alive and present...I never understood you when you wished your parents were still alive because I wanted mine dead...and I know you did too..my father was tough on both of us"

"The only good thing your father did was take me in after my family was slaughtered right infront of my eyes...without him I would have been god knows where" you wipe away your tears. Flashes of that incident play in your head.

Taehyung took careful steps than sat on the same couch you were sat on."I'm really glad he did that" he softly smiles holding your gaze. "after you started living with us I became happier..." you look up at him shocked "but you hated me.." you tell him shaking your head "no I never could...I tried...but no- I- I was jealous" he says avoiding your eyes "jealous?" You ask confused.

"You were good at everything...my father praised you countless times and I just wished he praised me once...even now I still think he prefers you over me" you shake your head "taehyung you're his son...I could never replace you" you say softly "besides I'm not sure I appreciate him wanting to take my daughter away from me"

"I won't ever let him" taehyung turns to you "that I can promise you" he smiles at you reassuringly you look away from him. "_____ I'm so sorry" he whispers enough for you to hear he inches closer to you. You freeze not knowing how to act. You feel him move your hair away from your neck. He traces your neck softly you wince from the pain but you don't move away. Liking the feeling of him being close.

"I'm a monster..." he whispers your eyes look into his and you can see the tears form in his eyes as he tries to hold them in "I don't deserve you...I don't deserve Luna...I'm just like him!" His head hangs low a he covers his face, your heart aches...no...taehyung wasn't like his father at all...you knew deep down he wasn't...you just didn't know how to handle him.You lift up his chin "You're not" you reassure him your voice is so tender and soft on his ears.

He feels the floor beneath him crumple and shake. He places his hand on your cheek softly as his finger graze your bottom lip and without a warning his lips were locked with yours.

You melt into the kiss letting your body take over your conscious. You kiss him back then he pulls you closer. His hands tug on your thighs then he lifts you up placing you on his lap as he sucks and bites on your lip. "Oh how much I've craved this.." he gronas pulling you closer. "What kind of a wife are you huh? Leaving your husband with blue balls for years" he taunts playfully you giggle. He flips you over so now you were laying on the couch and he was on top of you smirking "I want nothing more than to devour you now" he whispers against your skin. He leaves a trail of kisses on your neck and after every peck he says sorry. Your body was on fire. Maybe because you haven't had this type of contact in years. "Please taehyung" you beg. his knee was pressing against your burning core. You grind against it out of frustration not handling the heat. "Hmmm? What can I do for you princess?" He kisses the top of your head as he devilishly moves his knee up and down on your entrance. Teasing you.

"God fuck...fuck me please" you whimper. He laughs above you knowing that you were near the edge. He captures your lips again helping you get through your orgasm as it rips out of you.

════════════════════════

By the time you and taehyung finish showering it was late in the afternoon. You tiptoe to the living room to see Luna right where you left her. She was sound asleep cuddled up with a pillow. You sigh in relief that she didn't wake up to any sounds you and taehyung were making. You feel arms wrap around your torso and you lean back against taehyung as he glances over your shoulder to look at Luna briefly. "This is really nice" he closes his eyes feeling in content as he holds you close to him and sway from side to side with you in his arms.

His hair was still wet and it was dripping on your shoulder. You hated to ruin the mood but your mind couldn't stop racing. Although you weren't with Jimin...why did it feel like you were cheating on him?

"Taehyung?" You ask he hums a yes you sigh "there's something you should know" you hesitate to speak but it was now or never. "What's wrong? Did I hurt you?-" you cut him off giggling slightly "no no- everything is okay...for now. but I umm need to tell you this" he pulls away from you turning you to face him. "Then what's up?" He smiles.

"Me and jimin were in a relationship...while I was apart of the mafia" he smiles bitterly "I sensed something between you two but I never said anything..." "yeah well that night when I came to your office and we um first did it...it was out of spite"at that he pulled his arms away from you "I shouldnt'v I know... but me and jimin fought pretty bad that night and I just couldn't take it" taehyung seems to be shocked by all of this new information.

He looked hurt."So...you never meant for anything to happen between us?" he asks "No-but I don't regret it either...Luna means the world to me" you tell him "do you love me _____?" He asks and that's when your world seemed like it stopped. Truth is. Jimin consumed every part of you that left no place for anyone else. Until Luna came and took a half of your heart but the rest was all for Jimin.

You not answering taehyung's question was an answer it self. Taehyung knew. He knew all along. But that small crush on you turned into much bigger and he couldn't help it from the moment he saw you walk through the mansion door. He fell in love.... he couldn't stop it from growing either.

You think back to how it all started. You stood behind Mr.kim sniffling. As his son and wife made their way towards you "______ this is my son, Taehyung" you shyly look up at him and you notice his small boxy smile he secretly offered before he turned cold. Afraid of being seen smiling by his father. It weirded you out.

Then his mother took you in her arms mumbling comforting words and rambled on and on about how you won't ever be alone. The lies. Even though you became apart of their family. All you felt was loneliness. taehyung changed through the years. He wasn't as welcoming as he used to be so that's when you turned to Jimin and all you ever knew was him. He'd make fun of how you were adopted by a mafia gang leader and how cliche it was. That only made you love him more. That he didn't give you special treatment nut still made you feel special... you couldn't really explain it but it made your heart skip. So much of your time was spent with jimin. You both went through a lot together that taehyung won't ever be compared.

And when you grew up you two became partners which only led you to be more closer to him. And more connected. Eventually your childish crush turned into real feelings. And here you are. Still in love with someone you didn't end up with.

"Taehyung I'm sorry-" you began to say he cuts you off "do you still love him?" your head hangs low "-i don't know" you lie. Were you really going to confess your love for another man infront of your man? And the cherry on top of all this mess is you have a child with someone who you don't love.

Taehyung isn't blood related to you. But the circumstances you were in for some years made him feel like a brother to you. You cringe when you remember the things you just did with him. But you're not going to lead taehyung on like that...not anymore. Nor did you want to cheat on him.

He scoffs walking away from you but he walks back and faces you "then why did you agree to marrying me?" You sigh. There was no going back. Besides you knew he'll ask questions "because Luna would be protected..I couldn't protect her on my own I won't be able to" you say slowly. To say you felt like a bitch was an understatement.

"I can't believe this...I just...wow" he laughs while shaking his head. His face expression is undesirable "we just had sex...and you didn't think of telling me earlier than that?" You wince and look away from him "you could have pushed me off or walked out of my office but you stayed...you begged me to-" "I know!" You cut him off not bearing to hear the end of that sentence"I know that!"

"Which is why I'm confused-" you sigh "you're unpredictable...I can't figure you out..do you think I didn't want this to work? I wanted it to. for Luna's sake but I can't when you don't put any effort" you argue taehyung only stares at you "I do put effort-" he argues back "I meant with me...you never been affectionate towards me until now" he rolls his eyes "that is bullshit and you know it...I tried to. Multiple times on multiple occasions and you always pushed me away" he says pacing infront of you as he tells you "you were drunk taehyung...you know what happened last time we had sex drunk!"

"Yes you gave birth to my child..I get it- quit blaming me for it- it took the two of us!" He says louder and you flinch. You stay quiet. Defeated "I can't do this...I won't do this! I already have enough at stake" he scoffs "sort yourself out ______ because you don't know what you want and I refuse to be dragged down along with you...someone of us need to put their head on their shoulders or my father any second could bust through our home right now and take our child from us then we run like headless chickens"

Taehyung walks away slipping on his coat "I won't stop you if you choose Jimin...but my daughter stays with me do you understand?" He says over his shoulder before opening the front door then shutting it after him. Leaving you speechless and confused.

You sigh. Sliding against the wall. Your fingers brush through your hair as you slightly tug on. All that thinking all those thoughts were driving you crazy. Should you stay with a man who is the father of your child? Or should you go after another who isn't even chasing you? But you knew you couldn't be selfish while making a decision. Having a daughter made your choice a lot more difficult.

It's either your happiness or Luna's future.

[Tell me if you're enjoying this au so far so I keep updating it:)]

#taehyung scenarios #taehyung smut #kim taehyung #bts taehyung #jimin fanfiction #jimin scenarios #jimin fluff #jimin fanfic #taehyung fluff #bts jimin #park jimin #jimin x reader #jimin x taehyung #jimin x y/n #jimin x you #taehyung x jimin #taehyung x y/n #taehyung x you #taehyung x reader #taehyung x oc #jimin x oc #bts alternative universe #bts angst #bts au fic #jimin angst #jimin au #taehyung angst #taehyung au #bts one shot #bts scenarios

[mad-madam-m]

So I'm just curious, how do you get yourself to write? And do you use prompts and if you do where do you get them? I meant to use NaNo to get me to write but it took 4 days into November for me to realize November started so I failed lol. I've been meaning to start this original thing and it's just not...working.

First of all, anon, you could start writing RIGHT NOW (yes, with 10 days left in the month) and you would not fail NaNo. You might not hit 50k (although I know people who have hit 50k in that amount of time, or less), but you won’t fail. NaNoWriMo isn’t about hitting 50,000 words so much as it is about putting a stake in the ground and saying, “Here. Today. I will start writing the project I’ve always wanted to.” And doing it. Doesn’t matter what that project is—original novel, short stories, fic, poetry, revising something, a series of blog posts—NaNo is about just. Fucking. Doing it. And you still have time to Do It.

To answer your questions:

Do you use prompts and if you do, where do you get them?

For original stories, particularly novels, I usually don’t. For fic, particularly short fic I’m writing for events, I do. Tumblr has a wealth of writing prompts that range from “here’s a situation” to “here’s a line of dialogue GO,” and I tend to reblog them under the tags “fic prompts” or “writing prompts.” Honestly, most of them would work for either original fic or fanfic, so if you are a writer who likes to work from prompts, go forth and enjoy!

How do you get yourself to write?

That’s kind of a big question, and uh, the answer to it got long. Very long. (I said once that if you give me half a chance, I’ll talk about writing all the live-long day, and this answer is no exception.)

Different things motivate me for different projects, and as with all writing-related advice, YMMV, but here’s a few things that really help for getting myself to write:

1) Develop your story.

The current original story I’m working on, for example, I have not really had to struggle to get myself to write at all because 1) I’m stupid excited about it and 2) I have developed the hell out of it.

I’ve talked before about outlining my stuff here, so I won’t go too much into it again; suffice it to say that I have done about the same amount of development on my current original story that I had on ADA by the time I started writing. I started around the very end of September developing my characters and spent a good chunk of October working on setting, worldbuilding, plot, and finally my notecards.

Shockingly, having some idea of what’s happening and where I��m going is making this story easier to write.

Right? Like WHO’D HAVE THOUGHT.

Because of that, I’ve been excited about writing my story, so getting myself to write on it has been (comparatively) a cakewalk.

That’s not to say any of the writing is good (oh God no) or that there aren’t parts that need fixing, or that I haven’t been stuck. But it’s been stuck like “how do I describe seeing a tree-covered mountain in the middle of fall from the POV of someone who has never seen something like this” rather than “I have no fucking clue what happens next uh…”

The stories I struggle the most with writing are the ones that I’ve worked the least on developing. The stories that have been the easiest to write have been the ones I’ve spent at least a month doing prep work on before I ever start drafting.

2) Love your story.

Being in love with a story makes it a lot easier to write, at least for me. Because here’s the thing, ideas are easy.

If you’re a creative person, you’re going to end up with a file of story ideas—maybe prompts you liked, dialogue that stuck with you, one of those “humans are space orcs” tumblr posts that’s just really clicking in your brain—that will be longer than you could conceivably write if you had a hundred lifetimes. That’s okay! That’s great. But it means a lot of them are never going to get past the idea stage.

For me, the stories that get finished—the ones that not only get started but actually make it through the first draft and then three rounds of editing and revisions—are the ideas that I’ve been percolating on for months, if not longer. They’ve been cooking in the back of my brain while I’ve been doing other things, sorting themselves out, and most importantly: they will not let me go.

Coming up with ideas is easy. Finding an idea that will last and sustain a story and my interest for at least a year, if not longer? That’s harder.

Y’all know how much I’ve been talking about Tiger & Bunny over the past year? We’re talking that level of obsession with a story that I want to write, whether it’s fic or original. Sometimes it takes months or years for all the puzzle pieces to come together. Sometimes the whole thing will congeal within a few weeks, or there will be one crucial piece of story that will just make EVERYTHING come together, I will literally shout “OH MY FUCKING GOD” and that’s it, I’m off to the races. (In this particular case, it wasn’t anything I’d done in the first two weeks of poking at steampunk-y ideas; it was the realization that I could put a circus on an airship. The whole story just went WHOOSH after that.)

BUT. But. Sometimes you don’t have that. These stories are great and I love them and they remind me why I love writing so much (and if you’re writing something that’s gonna be 90k+, like I have a tendency to do, you need to be in love with it, IMO), but sometimes you’re in situations where you just have to get it done. In those cases:

3) Resort to bribery.

I’ve been poking at the third part of Alpha & Emissary, oh, basically since I posted the second part. My problem is that my fandom focus has been, shall we say, split for the past year. *coughs delicately, shoves Tiger & Bunny fics under the bed*

But here’s the thing: I hate having a published WIP on AO3 (it’s why I don’t publish long!fics until they’re completely drafted and mostly edited). I hate—HATE—having an unfinished series on AO3.

So that’s the rub: I have an unfinished series that I want to finish because I hate that it’s not finished. I also have a new fandom that is wresting my attention and inspiration away from said series. What’s a girl to do?

A girl tells herself she can’t write any more Tiger & Bunny fic until she finishes this one WIP, that’s what she does.

And it’s motivated me to sit my ass down and work on that WIP, because goddammit, I have a “but there was only one bed” TaiBani fic that I would really like to have up by New Year’s.

Your bribery will be different. Maybe you get to watch 1 episode of your favorite show per every 1k you write, or you get to try a new knitting project when you finish this short story. Maybe you binge-watch an entire season of your favorite anime if you exceed your NaNo goal. Or you write 50 words and get a cookie. The point is, find what works for you to get it done.

4) Figure out a minimum daily goal and stick with it.

For me, this was 500 words a day. 500 words. That’s it. That’s one 30-minute word sprint for me. That’s something I can do without stressing myself out.

Because of this point and point 3, I wrote more than 7000 words on a story I’d been stuck on for the better part of a year before I had to stop to work on NaNo stuff. Another 7k, and I’ll probably have it finished.

Your minimum word count will almost certainly be different. Maybe it’s 300 words a day, maybe it’s 1000. Hell, maybe it’s 100 words. Again, find what works for you, what you can write regularly without stressing yourself out.

Another important thing: If I didn’t hit 500 words, I didn’t beat myself up about it. Maybe I wrote 350. Or 220. Or just 93. The point is, did I write? Yes? Then I did good. I got myself a sentence or a paragraph closer to finishing. And it all adds up.

(And hey, you don’t have to write every day. I do, or I try to, because that’s what works for me. If it stresses you out to do so, then find another way to make it work.)

5) Deadlines, deadlines, deadlines.

This one’s hard because I can rarely keep a deadline that’s not set by an external source. If you tell me on December 20 that you need a story by December 22? Then on December 22, you’ll have a story, edited and ready to post. But when it comes to something I set for myself, the chances of a deadline working are 50/50.

That being said, it is something that helps me keep on track and even if I don’t finish something by a self-imposed deadline, it does get me writing.

6) Sprint with friends!

NaNo is really great for this because all your writer friends are coming out of the woodwork going I need to hit 5k by the end of today, will you sprint with me? Sometimes it just helps to have that kind of accountability. You all get together (I’ve used Discord, Google Hangouts, IRC, and Twitter DMs for this), set a timer, and write for 15 minutes or 20 minutes or 30 minutes. Then, when the time’s up, you post your word count, everybody congratulates everybody else, and then you take a break before doing the next one.

Sprints are the reason I’ve been able to make some pretty significant headway on my word counts, and few things get me writing like knowing I’m going to have to tell everybody in my group what my word count is in 30 minutes or less. >.>

Like I said earlier, YMMV on all of these. What works for me may work for you, or it might not. But if you aren’t sure, it’s worth giving it a shot.

Happy writing!

#Anonymous #M answers #long post #M talks writing #can I count this toward my NaNo count for the day or nah