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brawlstars-dragon-au · 5 months

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Sketch dump time! A whole bunch of requests from the crazy ex-bird app

In Order: Maisie, Pam, Colette, Buster, Chester, Chuster ❤️🧡 (and a teeny Gus), Leon and Sandy (Leondy 💚💜), Bull, El Primo, and Mandy!

Extra notes about each sketch:

Maisie:

Her breath attack is a condensed foam material, similar to that of a fire extinguisher. Using a gas similar to a pressurized CO² (based on gas-based fire extinguishers!), she shoots it out at high speeds. These hits can potentially cause frostbite and even severe damage to the body if left unattended. She's quite powerful in this AU due to this ability 👀👀 being able to put out the fires and overpower another dragon's breath? Now THAT'S some queen moves right there! She can also simply spray out the foam substance at short range without that pressurized gas. This helps with more close range fire fighting work.

Her right wing and front leg were undeveloped, a disability she'd had since she hatched. However! With the help of mechanics, she uses these prosthetics to help her fly. Still gotta test out how to draw it to make sense, as well as sort out how it stays in place. I've been using inspiration from Toothless (HTTYD) and his tail that Hiccup made.

Pam:

Pam is a bulkier dragon, very much on the larger side of all of them. I'm at odds with myself to figure out whether ot not she'll have wings 🤔 so I had two copies there! Perhaps her wings may be a bit smaller if I do give her them.

Pam spits out molten magma that's stored up inside her as an attack. However, it can also be chunks of scrap metal that she stores up. Otherwise, it's just magma.

Though I didn't draw this, I want Pam to be very resilient to fire in general, as her species/family of dragon use their ability to spew this magma (technically Lava after ut leaves her body? I'll do more research on this...) in order to craft and shape metal. While other dragons need to spend some time to build up a fire hot enough, the Junker family line is able to do this much more easily. (Amber is a close second, though)

Her skin has the ability to crack and seep up lava out of it, potentially coating her body in this to give herself a temporary lava shield, something extremely hard to break through. (In the future, little Jessie may also be able to do this... however, Pam doesn't think she's ready at the moment and avoids the topic or any ideas of teaching her how.)

Colette:

Colette flies in a sort of funny way, twirling around and flapping her wings to maintain somewhat of a chaotic flight pattern. Think of a snake slithering through the sky, but with large wings and the grace of... a teenage dragon (not much, but it does work).

When she gets better at flying...pray and hope she isn't able to catch up to her favourite brawlers cause she isn't ever gonna let go of them 💀 It makes for a great attack, actually! Charging at enemies and coiling around them like a snake to prevent movement, like a big hug ❤️ she just loves everyone SO much 😍

Buster:

Finally kinda set on a design for this funky guy! He's a larger dragon (smaller than El Primo or Frank, but still definitely up there in size)

His wings never quite grew fully, so he wouldn't be able to fly 😔 however, that'll never stop him and his dreams of being a cool movie star 🧡🧡

Buster, at the heart of it, is an unstoppable force when he sets his mind to something. He'll charge in with the same ferocity as his favouite protagonists, rivalling the audacity and hard-headed nature of even Bull! All while doing so for his friends 💪 we love Buster in this AU frfr

Chester:

Chester always has theatrics when he flies. Flips, spins, and fun aerodynamic movements up in the sky! He's gotta compensate for his lack of speed compared to other wyverns after all, but he thinks he's pretty great 😎

Loved drawing this kinda unique pose tbh! That's what I loved with these drawings, I got to experiment without really thinking too much for em with how polished and clean that look. It was very fun! 🔥

Chuster ft. Gus❤️🧡:

We love some goofy gays here 🥹❤️🧡 I just wanted to let em have a little nuzzle + smooch! Dragons don't necessarily kiss, but little side boops like this are the equivalent of a cheek kiss.

Also, a little Gus on the side 🥹🥹 I love this sort of found family dynamic that have! Buster being the cool dad vibe/big bro to Gus, and then Buster being in a relationship with Chester so that he's also a cool dad too 😎 Gus loved these two guys from the very start, they're funny 🤭 never a boring day for these silly lads.

Leondy 💚💜:

My beloveds 🤲 I really do cherish the ship, as well as strong friendship Sandy and Leon have. (Btw in my HCs, Leon and Sandy are 13 & 14 respectively, just to clear that up!)

Sandy, I've mentioned a few times, is very inspired by Capybaras, so Leon finding one is just perfect 🤭 silly little deadpan face lads.

Bull:

BULLDOZERRRR- What a lad! Bull is inspired by- uh, Bulls! Great creatures, large bodies and thick necks to support those headstrong charges 🐂 I love making his posture all confident, strong steps to say, "Yeah. You TRY and stand up to me. I DARE you." Don't wanna mess with him on most days 🏃‍♀️💨💨

El Primo:

Still figuring out a full-body for El Primo, bit he's roughly the same size as Bull! (Maybe a bit bigger)

El Primo has got really small wings, similar to his El Dragón skin. Even his scales and horns are inspired by that mostly! Love when characters have preexisting dragon themed skins 🤭 makes it a lot easier to make ideas!

His "mask" is actually just body paint. He has similar paint on his body, really showing off the vibrant colours and persona he puts on for the crowds.

He WILL beat up his enemies into a pulp in matches. Thank goodness there's the gem powered regeneration and the respawn system in place 😭 I plan to give him a very strong body and tail, enough to support him when he needs to go on his hind legs and overpower his opponents. Buster is designed in a similar way as well!

Mandy:

Last but not least, the Queen of Candy herself. Not even the Dragon AU let's her escape fast food work 😔😔

Her super attack is purely a magical sugar-based rainbow blast, as shown in the sketch. Also, I'm now realizing that I forgot her red spots oml- No wonder she looks so empty 💀 uhh sorry about that, lads 😭 I'll redraw her one day to show off that glowing effect of her spots 🥹🥹

And that's all! Thank you for reading if you made it this far! Hopefully I can make more of these sketch dumps 🤭✨️ maybe take reqs from here too! We shall see. Take care y'all!

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the-fiction-witch · 5 months

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Pouty

Media The Artful Dodger

Character Jack Dawkins

Couple Jack X Reader

Rating Flirty AF + Mild Smut

Warnings Gambling / alcohol

I sat on the well-stuffed armchair that I had moved over, replacing the cheap wooden chair of the card table with my usual parlour armchair, my bare feet on the soft rug, the fire crackling and popping to my side as it worked away at the wood and coal I threw on a few moments ago. My cards on the well-polished wood of the card table, the edges slightly buffed and worn down from people's arms, my cards face down showing only the patterned back, coins in the centre of the table stacked up nicely, his cards on the other side. He sat in his armchair, well it wasn't his but it may well have been, leant back with his usual fluffy hair, his white loose sleeve shirt, his blue waistcoat, his green tie undone allowed to hang low and his brown trousers, his chocolate eyes leaving me with no place to hide, his smirk upturned on his lips.

I sat similarly in my chair with my arms over my chest doing my best to look at anything but him, flicking my eyes around the room that was meant to be our parlour but my father merely used it as a card room, with tables, chairs, a bar to the side and as many games as could be imagined. We were... A little, not tipsy, nowhere near Pidgeon step, but... Giggly, and giddy. Which didn't help matters.

He never moved his gaze though giving me very little choice in my proceedings.

"I don't know why I play with you." I snapped pushing my cards into the centre folding,

His smirk only grew as he moved the centre pile to his little pile proud of himself for his winnings, taking my cards and having a look before rolling his eyes "You had me going for a while at the start there," He smirked adding them along with his own back to the deck and beginning to shuffle them, "Again?"

"Alright," I sighed, as much as I didn't want to keep losing I didn't want him to go just yet, "I just need to be a bit careful..."

"Careful?"

"Umm... Last week someone took home my whole allowance!"

"Shouldn't bet it, if you not prepared to lose it."

"And you live by that philosophy do you?"

"I do indeed."

"No, you do not! I've known you to be in the whole for more than you make in a year?" I laughed "As I recall he was going to chop your hand off."

He smirked and very fragrantly moved his hands as he spoke making sure to draw attention to them "And do I have both still?"

"Yes, because you're a crafty little..."

"Ohh go on?" He chuckled leaning on his hand "I shall like to hear this,"

"You're a crafty little... fool."

"You're adorable" he smiled blowing me a kiss across the table as he dealt the cards I glanced at mine and had nothing but I wanted to keep him going a while, I did my best not to react watching him as he checked his own but god damn it he's good! not letting a single reaction make it's way though. He moved a coin to the centre so I did so too, back and forth this went on as the pile grew both of us constantly trying to read one another, I knew I didn't have much money left and I was no closer to knowing what he had so I folded before I lost everything and he smirked taking his winnings with a wide smile,

"Jack Dawkins, must you be such a .... Person." I sighed in frustration,

"A person?" He smirked shuffling the cards again,

"A... Person." I snapped,

"Aww, go on. you can do it. What am I?"

I know what I wanted to say but the words stuck behind my teeth

"Go on, I won't tell," He smirked winking at me as he delt the cards again

"Dick." I sighed glancing at my cards and for once I had something good! really good! but I kept my face still,

He laughed at me, "You are adorable. Come on you can do better than that" Not even checking his cards,

I huffed.

"Come on, I won't tell, I think it's cute when you swear. such a cute Wittle Wady saying the words her daddy won't Wet her." he playfully joked as he moved a coin to the centre "I'll even get you started. Cunt."

"Jack!"

"What?"

"You- You can't just-" I began,

"Cunt. See nothing happens. Cunt. god doesn't come and strike you down for swearing Y/n. He did... I would be in the pits of hell five times over by now."

"Dick." I sighed adding a coin

"Yes, we've heard that one come on you can do better."

"I- I can't,"

"Your father's not here It's safe. I promise I won't say a word" he smiled adding a few more coins

"Little fucker."

"Ahhh! there we go, Pouty little princess."

"I'm not pouting"

"Yes you are, you're mad at me. Awww pouty wittle princess mad I took her allowance?"

"I. am. not. Pouty."

"You're a ... " I began but I couldn't say it, he just glanced up at me expectantly "Bastard."

"Ooohhh sharp tonight Y/n" He smirked "Come on," he smirked as we had reached the point where I had no more money to bet from my weekly allowance but these cards were so good there was no way I could lose! So I slipped off my bracelet adding it to the pile "Very nice," He smirked adding more coins "Go on, how you gonna get out of this one?"

"Arsehole," I sighed pulling off my ring and adding it to the pile,

"Confident little pouty princess tonight," he smirked simply adding more money,

"Shit." I sighed as I had nothing else to bet with, "You open to an IOU?"

"Depends what it is," He shrugs slyly,

"Half next week's allowance when I get it."

he smirked, "Why? I'll end up winning it when I come over anyway,"

"Please?"

"Alright" He smirked grabbing some paper from the bar and writing out and IOU "Go on," he smirked sliding it over so I signed it and added it to the pile, he smirked and simply added more coins "Ooohh now what are you going to do?"

"... Another IOU?"

"For?"

"More of my allowance next week?"

"No."

"What?"

"If I take all of next week's allowance you have nothing to play with then. I'm just robbing myself of the future enjoyment of taking it."

"Ughhh... what do you want then?"

"Anything I want?"

"Yes,"

"Anything?"

"Within reason."

"So all anything is on the table as it were?" he smirked leaning his elbows on the table, connecting his hands and resting his chin there,

"within reason, you slimy little fish boy."

"Fish boy? Are you actually out of swears you know?"

"Shithead."

He smirked still with the paper from the bar in handwriting on it in a way I couldn't see and slid it over licking his lip as he did, I took it a little confused and read it

'IOU, One on the Lips Kiss. Signed _________'

"You're kidding?"

"I am not."

"Why?"

He shrugged "The sick twisted joy of forcing the pouty little princess to pucker up?"

"You're a dickhole."

"Oohh getting more inventive now. Take it or leave it."

"How much do you value that?"

"Let's say to the value of four pounds?"

"Four pounds!"

"That's what the girls down the cat and bagpipes charge."

"Well, I ain't a girl down the cat and bagpipes jack, Twelve."

"Six."

"Ten."

"Nine."

"Fine." I sighed signing it and adding it to the pile, He nodded and simply added more money

"Well, now what am I meant to do?" I glared

He smirked glancing at the paper he still had on the table and I rolled my eyes, "Fine."

"Don't bet what you can't lose. You can fold at any time little lady." he chuckled writing on the paper and sliding it over to me waiting with an evil smirk, I flipped it and looked immediately turning red at the idea

'IOU, One lap sit lasting at least one minute. Signed _________'

"You want me to do what now!"

"Sit on my lap," he smirked leaning back in his chair slightly and opening his legs almost invitingly

"One minute?"

"At least."

"Fine." I snapped signing and adding it to the now formidable pile

"You must be very confident,"

"So must you" I smirked "...If I win? will you give me a kiss?"

"The IOU had no name so... Yes I suppose if you won they go to you."

"So you'd have to kiss me, Jack?" I giggled leaning on the table a little "And come sit on my lap?"

"I would, little concerned if I'll fit but yes if you win then I'll do it." He smirked "So... do you fold or are we going to keep adding here?"

"Adding. Go on. You can choose."

"Ohh how kind of you princess" he smirked clearly getting a wicked idea writing on the paper and sliding it over so I took it

'IOU, One Touch of an intimate area of the winner's choice. Signed _________'

"An Intimate area?"

"Yes,"

"Which would be wear?"

"Your tits. or your arse. Or your pussy if I was feeling like it." He smirked

"And If I win?"

"My arse, or my cock."

"That still sounds like it would benefit you more than me."

"Then I can't lose can I?"

"How much?"

"fifteen pounds."

"Fine" I smirked signing it and adding it to the pile

"Interesting you value a kiss at nine pounds but me fondling your tit is fifteen... I could in theory fondle your arse for less than the price of two kisses"

"Your turn" I smirked ignoring his comment and noticing he now had very little left to bet with so he slid the last of his money in "Not enough."

"Ohh come on-"

"Nope. you want to keep the stakes this high then meet them."

He rolled his eyes and slid over the pad and pen "Go on then."

I took the pen thinking for a moment this was all getting a bit intense but if I won! I got everything! and he was betting with my last three weeks' worth of allowance I had lost to him, as well as his recent winnings from evenings at the Cat and Bagpipes and wherever else he scampers off too to play cards that aren't just here with me when my father's out. And I had to admit... the idea of winning and turning his perverted little request of me sitting on his lap and him touching my intimate places into something humiliating for him to have to sit on my lap while I slap his arse was too good to resist. But what to make him do, trying to think of what would humiliate him the most...

'IOU, One spanking session. Signed _________'

And I slid it over with a smile

"Uhh? So I'd get to spank you? That definitely sounds like it's more for my benefit."

"Does it?"

"yeah. That's hot as fuck!"

"No, winner takes."

"So, when I win I get to give you a spanking my pouty little princess?"

"If you win. yes. and when I win, I get to bend you over and give you a spanking"

"You'd really spank me?"

"I would."

"You can't even say cunt in your own house when your father isn't here you're going to bend me over and spank me are you?"

"I am."

"Alright" he smirked signing it and adding it to the pile quickly taking the pad back writing quickly and sliding it over

'IOU, One tickle session. Signed _________'

"A what?"

"I get to lie you down, tie you up. and tickle you to my heart's content."

"With my clothes on?"

"...some of them"

"To what end?"

"My amusement."

"and when I win? I get to tie you up and tickle you?"

"If you win, yes."

"Alright" I smirked signing it and taking back the pad trying to think of something, and an evil thought came into my mind

'IOU, One orgasm. Signed _________'

and I folded the paper stroking down the fold line before kissing the fold and sliding it over to him, He watched me rather excitedly taking it kissing the fold line himself before opening it

"Oh." He stopped short "Really?"

"Really."

"My pouty little princess wants me to make her cum?"

"When I win."

"And if I win?"

"You get one I guess, if that happens."

"You'll make me cum?"

"I will."

"How?"

"hands."

"Ohh no no."

"You're the one short on money. I get to decide."

"Fine. Hands" He smirked quickly signing away and adding it to the pile "Ohh look at that now you need to bet, so you fold or you bet?"

"Bet."

"Good girl," he smirked taking the paper and pen back and I didn't even need to check it really I knew what he was going to write and as soon as it slid back to me

'IOU, One orgasm By mouth. Signed _________'

"So... when I win you owe me two?"

"One by hand, one by mouth to cash when requested."

I smirked and signed adding it to the pile

"Your turn, I'm not folding princess."

"Alright," I smirked taking the paper and pen, trying to think of something and then it hit me! god damn it why didn't I think of this earlier

'IOU, full nude pose. Signed _________'

and I slid it back

"Pose?"

"Yep."

"why a pose specicily?"

"I can draw you."

"Draw me? why a cute little picture to keep under your pillow?"

"To display in town and humiliate you."

"And when I win?"

"You can see me naked, I'm sure that'd amuse you."

"I'm a doctor. I see naked ladies a lot. Like... so much it's kinda boring now"

"Boring?"

"It's just boobs. and a pussy. Yes, both of those can be spectacular but.. they are just boobs." He shrugs "Can I draw you?"

"Can you draw?"

"... I would try. and then I can put you up in my room above my bed" he winked

"Fine."

"Deal" he smirked happily signing "My turn!" He smirked grabbing the pad back and quickly writing his own sliding the paper over

'IOU, One Full Penotrational Sex Session. Signed _________'

immediately I turned red and he just smirked,

"No!"

"What?"

"No! No way!"

"Why not?"

"We are not betting with my Innocence Jack."

"Everything is on the table, you said so."

"No!"

"You agree to the IOU, Or you you fold." He smirked,

"Fine." I sighed signing and smirking "I'll see you."

He smirked and revealed his cards,

"...... you cunt." I sighed revealing my cards and he had beaten me!

He chuckled and pulled his pile of winnings to himself gathering all the IOU's and flicking them and then using them as a fan for himself "Well... isn't this just a lovely turn of events" He smirked taking one out and sliding it over to me "I'd like to cash this one, Now."

I looked and it was the

'IOU, One lap sit lasting at least one minute. Signed _________'

I sighed ripping it and throwing it on the fire before I got up and moved to sit on his leg, immediately he wrapped his arms around me pulling me to his chest

"Aww pouty little princess."

"I hate you."

"I know."

"You are an evil... conniving little man."

"I know" he shrugs "Now... what are we to do with the rest of our evening?" he smirked "Ohh. I have some ideas" he smirked waving his IOU's around suggestively "I have some rewards to cash" He smirked shoving the papers into the cleavage of my dress, grabbing my thighs as he stood forcing me to wrap them around him, so I quickly wrapped my arms around him so I wouldn't fall

"JACK!" I squealed

"Off we go then, princess. Don't worry you won't be pouty much longer" he smirked carrying me up to my bedroom...

#thomasbrodiesangster #tbs imagine #tbs imagines #tbs smut #thomas brodie sangster imagine #thomas sangster imagine #thomas sangster #tbs #thomas brodie sangster #thomas brodie sangster smut #jackdawkins #jack #jack dawkins #the artful dodger #theartfuldogger #thearttfuldodger

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elionwriter · 1 year

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Sherlock Holmes the Awakened: a Review

(SPOILERS AHEAD)

Sorry, sorry, sorry, but I just NEED to talk about this game! I have been a Frogwares Holmes fan since the very beginning and 'The Awakened' was always among my favourite titles. Not to mention one of the games that had scared the wits out of me. So I have to speak about the Remake now.

First and foremost, I think it needs to be reiterated that this game was made DURING THE FU****G INVASION OF UKRAINE! During such dark times, the team kept working on this. I would have supported this game even just for this reason alone.

Now, let's be honest: Frogwares never had the most marvelous graphics nor the most polished of gameplays and this entry is not an exception. I still feel the map system is a bit difficult to navigate (I may be an idiot, but I had the same issue with Chapter 1) but I really appreciated the added help the game gives you when you're recreating a scene, letting you know which passage you got wrong. Last game I found myself changing everything trying to hit the right combination so I really liked this fix.

This needs to be said: the game doesn't feel under any shape or form a product for a new fan. Everything from dialogues to game mechanics sort of take for granted that you've at least played 'chapter one'. Honestly? I'm ok with this, I hate having to always go through nearly identical tutorial stages for games I know inside out (like Pokémon) and I believe that most of not all people who are going to get this game ARE old fans!

I wasn't originally a big fan of the new Holmes and Watson models when the last game came out but....I dunno, they have grown on me. I find myself liking them now for, I suppose, no other reason than 'they are very expressive' and 'I've gotten used to them'. I think it's gotten to the point that these might be my favourite models of the two to date. Please ignore how fickle I am! (In honesty, just to draw a similar parallel, when Roger Craig Smith was first announced as Sonic's voice I hated it and now he's my fav Sonic v. actor)

This game has something.....compared to its predecessor, that makes it less scary. I can't really put my finger on it, but I distinctly remember the feeling of claustrophobia building in me when I was in the Black Edelweiss. Or the sheer jumpscare I got when the sacrificed American detective on the altar had tentacles coming out of it and severing his head making it roll to the ground. I remember almost not wanting to paddle the rowboat under the tree of hanging men in the Bayou. I remember how viscerally sick I felt at the lighthouse by all the gore and blood depicted. This time round.....I just didn't. I'm honestly not sure why this didn't hit me nearly as hard as its 2006 predecessor did!

And talking about comparisons, one thing I'm a bit disappointed they didn't grab the chance to do in this remake was fix the loose ends that were left hanging in the 2006 version. I mean....they still abandoned completely the search for that one Maori servant, what happened to all the people they managed to rescue? Who hired the private American detective that was killed? Why give out the cheap pendants? I know I'm a bit dumb and need extra explaining than what is necessarily needed but...I can't be the only one right? Sometimes you want to be told just a bit more.

Now, getting into the really good bits, that make all of it worth it!

'Chapter One' acted as a 'de facto' reboot of the Frogwares Holmes series, and I honestly think that was for the best. I don't really see where they could have gone with things after 'Devil's Daughter' and their Holmes had changed too much to be the same guy from 'The Silver Earring'...let alone Watson. But like this? They have a fresh, clean slate to start off from and they can rebuild the two mains' relashionship and lore from the ground up in a more strictly consequential manner. And the way they are doing it? I think it's state of the art!

The fact that they poke fun at themselves on certain points like Watson stating: "What about when you used to roll up only one of your sleeves? Did you get bored halfway through?!" I think the Devs themselves realized this was a cringe design choice and I like that they said so out loud.

The meta-conversation they wrote in towards the end, 'because yes, this HAS Happened before and the story still has the same outcome', is brilliant. I don't think I've ever seen another remake that acknowledges that it is a remake, and in the general madness that is mounting in the narrative this makes perfect sense! It adds one more layer of horror and inexplicable to the tale. The villain's warning 'that the Final Problem is coming and Sherlock will fall in the abyss too' is such a powerful way to use Canon. The prophecy is only made more real and dreadful by the fact that this person is aware of what has already happen in a similar but different scenario!

Also, not them using that one quote from 'The Valley of Fear' novel which happens to be one of my all time favourites!

I say, Watson,’ he whispered, ‘would you be afraid to sleep in the same room as a lunatic, a man with softening of the brain, an idiot whose mind has lost its grip?’ ‘Not in the least,’ I answered in astonishment. 'Ah, that’s lucky,’ he said, and not another word would he utter.

I think the thing that has most benefited from the Remake is Watson's character. Compared to the 2006 version, this Watson is a truly compelling character in his own right and this time round he's not just along for the ride. In this version, you simply cannot imagine how Holmes would have done it on his own. Watson was in every way a key component to the solution of the problem and the reason why Holmes didn't drown in madness. That point is driven home by Rochester asking 'How did you defeat me?' and Holmes answering 'I made a friend!'

Much of the narrative in the game was focused on Holmes truly learning to accept Watson's friendship and him as a person when he was still clinging so much to his old imaginary friend. You can see how, at first, Holmes refuses to be honest with the Doctor about what he thinks and feels and it's only as they move forward in the adventure that they both open up to each other. You can see as the adventure progresses that Holmes shifts his desperate cries from 'Jon' to 'Watson' to 'John' and the Doctor goes more and more often from 'Holmes' to 'Sherlock'. Mycroft also points this out when he says that Sherlock 'went from one Jon to another'. But this one, John Watson, is real and there to stay. In the context of a story that happens mostly in the detective's mind, Watson's friendship is really what turns the situation around!

I could add of little tid bits which were so random and on the nose that somehow worked, like the possessed 'Heidi' doll or the fact that you had to actually 'Kill Holmes' with the booby traps instead of avoiding them.

Also, "The director Guygax was randomly killed.....by a doll?!????!?!?! Yeah, let's just walk out of here no questions asked. That's too deep a wormhole even for this f***d up Adventure to go down. I'm sure nobody is gonna ask us questions, suspect or stop us as we go out the main doors!" 😃 -Holmes, probably.

So, yeah, I loved this game despite it not being perfect and my love and support goes to Frogwares more that ever!

#sherlock Holmes the awakened #sherlock holmes chapter one #sherlock holmes #john watson #frogwares holmes #sherlock holmes devil's daughter #holmes x watson #sherlock x john #sherlock and jon #jon #mycroft holmes #chtulhu #eldrich horror #lovecrafian

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wanderingaldecaldo · 2 months

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Tagged by @gloryride, @gamerkitten, @chevvy-yates, and @aggravateddurian to share something I'm working on. Thanks, chooms! Still leaning into the ADHD, so there's several things I'm working on simultaneously. Most recently it's been...

Modding

The cutoff vests are 95% done, just need a few touches before I can make them live on Nexus, so what better time to start a new modding project? 🙃 A friend mentioned wanting Vik's pants and I'm always looking for more butch clothes for Val especially ones that ride low on those hips but also the belt & tools seem like a fun project.

Unedited. Not bad for an hour's work ☺️

Both the pants and belt are simple replacers to start while I test. I have some clipping to deal with on the pants, but so far the weights look okay. 🤞

As for the belt, I lost the tools somewhere between Blender and Wkit lol. I wanted to take a go at texturing them in Substance Painter so I split them off into their own submesh. Not sure where I lost them but I'm sure they'll turn up again.

Writing

It's fitting that Durian tag me because my latest writing was incited by a scene in his fic "The President's Lady" in which Myers invites Sol and V to lunch at the White House. I'm going for a more, uh, traditional take on The Tower ending than he is, using my fave angst, combined with some good ol' longing and probably some flashback smut. I've been canoodling on this in my notebook since Durian's chapter came out, writing a bit each night before falling asleep. I started transcribing it just for this post, so here are 315 of 338 words, hot off the Google Docs.

Some backstory: The second time I played Phantom Liberty I beelined to Dogtown, and skipped meeting the Aldecaldos and doing pretty much anything past finishing the VDBs quests. Vik was the only one who called, and she decided to take Sol up on his offer of a job at Langley. Soon after she's back in DC, she gets an invite to lunch from President Myers.

“Thank you, Madam President.” “V, please. No need to be so formal. I believe we’re well past that now.” “Heh, just a few weeks ago, told you—” “Yes, V,” she cries out, breath hot against her neck— Stopping, Rosalind turns to look at her, eyebrows and lines of her forehead drawing to a point, as if finally she recognizes V for who she still is. “I suppose that really was like yesterday for you.” The lines soften and she leads V to a sofa across the room, gesturing for her to sit first, then sits close and takes her hand. Long, graceful fingers teasing her skin— V stares down at her hand in Rosalind’s, her arms blank of cyberware still a disconcerting sight, but she doesn’t pull away. “How are you feeling? I can’t imagine the news was easy to hear.” “No, wasn’t,” she says with a shake of her head. “Thought I was gonna die a merc but now....” “I’m sorry I wasn’t there to tell you myself. Solomon suggested it would lead to too many questions among the staff. He’s right of course, but I still feel I let you down.” V frowns. “Ma’am?” “You weren’t my agent for long, but that doesn’t mean you weren’t important. What you did...” Rosalind trails off, eyes dipping to her mouth before she drops her gaze to their hands on her lap. Her nails are still perfectly polished, buffed to a shine. She looks up and says, “I’ll never be able to repay you for all that you did for me.” V down looks at their linked hands then, heart pounding, she leans forward to kiss her, as if she’s just any other woman, not the most powerful in the world, and Rosalind tilts her head and parts her lips and— She swallows and shakes her head. “You did, though. Least as far as I’m concerned.”

Tagging with the usual no pressure disclaimer: @medtech-mara @breezypunk @streetkid-named-desire @peaches-n-screem @rosapexa @luvwich @merge-conflict @steelscorner @ghostoffuturespast @byberbunk2069 and YOU!

Take this as an invitation to share something you're working on and tag me! Doesn't have to be Cyberpunk, or anything fandom-related!

#cyberpunk 2077 #valerie vermilion #streetkid!val #rosalind myers #myers x v #myers x fem v #wlw ship #milfguard #aka president's merc au #wash's writing #mods i made #tag game #wip wednesday #wip whenever #thanks chooms!!#also i really had fun making that banner in ~30min lol

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bromelads · 1 year

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Ed, Stede, and their Living Ghosts

This post was originally a reply to another meta, but I decided to give it its own life since I enjoyed writing it and didn't realize I had overstepped some unspoken boundary where this/my engagement wasn't welcome🤷🏽No hard feelings. Just giving these ideas a place where I can see good-faith responses to them. Polished the post a little so it can stand on its own.

I think a big part of Season 1 is about Stede coming to terms with the ghosts of his past: the inadequacy and self-denial fostered by his father, his childhood peers, and his unhappy marriage to Mary. We get to see Stede literally grapple with Nigel Badminton's ghost, whose entire purpose is to feed Stede's insecurities about not being a good enough pirate. But where Stede's ghosts are finally put to rest at the end of Season 1, Ed's ghosts not only actively torment him, as we see with the trauma response he has to Stede's Kraken fuckery, but also walk right beside him in the form of Izzy, Jack, and the Queen Anne's crew.

I want to start with an exploration of the Badminton Brothers' roles as active "ghosts" in Stede's life. Before Stede caused their deaths, the Badminton Brothers played very active, imposing, and obsessive roles in Stede's new life. In life and death, both Nigel and Chauncey were both reminders of past torments that Stede escaped by retreating into himself. Izzy represents a similarly smothering force in Ed's life: lying to dissuade Ed from meeting Stede, making demands of Ed for a plan when he was checked out, poking him to re-engage with business-as-usual as the heads of Blackbeard's crew, sending Jack to draw Ed away from Stede by appealing to his nostalgia, trying to kill Stede and, finally, putting Ed down for indulging in emotional vulnerability over leadership.

I've seen some excellent comparisons between Izzy and Mary as living parts of Ed and Stede's past, but I've been a bit hesitant to compare Izzy to the Badmintons who, like Stede, are defined by their relatively high status in colonial society. Some of it has to do with not falling into the trap of equating the Badminton's treatment of Stede with Izzy's treatment of Ed because they serve entirely different interpersonal functions. While the Badmintons tormented Stede to assert their places in a social hierarchy where they were above Stede, Izzy's burdensome pressure is about maintaining a social order that benefits both him and Ed.

Outside of their race and English heritage, Nigel and Chauncey have very little in common with Izzy. Izzy's whiteness may afford him more opportunities and mobility than his nonwhite colleagues, but the Badminton Brothers' whiteness, class background, and status as official agents of the British Empire give them immediate access to resources and influence that Izzy just doesn't have as Blackbeard's First Mate. Other folks have written much better about the role that class plays where Izzy is concerned but I thought I'd be remiss not to mention it.

So with these big differences between the Badminton Brothers and Izzy, why do I think that it's fitting to call Izzy a ghost of Ed's past, like Nigel is to Stede?

Ok, I won't blame y'all for laughing but... for starters.... this scene.

Bear with me! Comedic value of Button's paranormal paranoia aside, there's something evocative about the way in which the camera lingers for three seconds longer than necessary on Ivan, Izzy and Fang here. I remember that when I first watched this, that extended pause sowed a seed of uncertainty in me. Obviously these men aren't ghosts, right? They're not gonna just vanish into thin air, are they?

We learn later that Blackbeard's crew is very much active and alive. But as we get to know their captain, we learn that he takes them for granted too.

Their needs are immaterial to Ed! He just needs to assuage their concerns when absolutely necessary in order to keep the ship running. He's not even trying to keep a temperature on the state of his crews' morale. Izzy seems to be doing all that by himself! And he's AWFUL at it! Which is an odd state of affairs for an exceptional leader like Ed to allow, burnout and all. Especially while running a pirate ship, where the risk of mutiny is ever-present.

Compare this to Stede who, for all his shortcomings and inexperience, takes a proactive approach to considering his crews' wants on how they do their work: he accepted feedback on their first "raid," asked for suggestions on what to do with their hostage, and listened to Roach when he recommended making a stop to restock on oranges. On the other hand, we see Ed really, truly leading when he needs to influence the situation in order to keep Stede and Izzy around. He's just a lot more enthusiastic about pulling weight for one over the other.

He orders Izzy to personally pursue Stede for him, orders the crew to witness their little clothes-swapping game, directs the lighthouse fuckery to save the Revenge from crashing, models proper pirate pillaging and interrogation form, introduces Stede to the art of fuckery, saves him from getting executed by invoking the Act of Grace, even plans a brand new life for them! Ed's ability to lead with his creativity is one of his most admirable qualities and Stede brings it all out. He inspires him! Keeps him curious! He's in love! He's alive!

Which brings me to the incredibly tense instances where Ed goes out of his way to keep Izzy around: in episode 4 when he promises Izzy his captaincy in order to pursue a life where he has less responsibility, and episode 5 when he promises to kill Stede in order to appease Izzy, Fang, and Ivan. Ed doesn't deliver on either of these promises: and we don't blame him! His deep burnout explains why he is so aloof and "go-with-the-flow" with his old crew.

Ivan wanted to do a little bit of murder cuz it would've been nice? Too bad, they're gonna let the ponce that humiliated them go. A sizable number of their crew dies during the Spanish raid? Not Ed's problem, dying in raids happens. Ed's second-in-command feels overwhelmed and unappreciated? Lol cool story bro. Ivan, Izzy, and Fang are severely discontent with his intense focus on Stede? Ok, fine, he'll kill him like they ask. Izzy duels Stede because Ed couldn't follow through on killing him? Guess he's gonna just let it happen. Izzy banishes himself off the ship? Oh well!

Ed is positively checked out of his role as Blackbeard. He's straddling the line of who his crew expects him to be and who he wants to be. Stede and the crew of the Revenge are the promise of a brighter, kinder future where he can be more fully himself. Meanwhile, the crew of the Queen Anne are heavy, haunting reminders of a brutal past. But they're also people with whom he not only has a shared history but who afford him respect, fear, and trust. Not just because of his reputation as Blackbeard, but because they've come to rely on him as a leader. Despite the social contract Ed has with the crew of the Queen Anne as their captain, we get strong hints that, in his mind, they occupy a closer place to the shadows of his past than that of living people who work with him to keep each other alive.

It's no wonder that when things fall through with Stede, Ed goes back to relying on Izzy, to everyone's detriment. From Ed's perspective, Stede's rejection is proof that a bright new life is simply not an option for him. It's back to the same old, haunting, burdensome thing for him.

So I don't think it's a stretch to say that there might be a deeper meaning behind Buttons, with all his experience and eccentricities, asking Izzy, Fang, and Ivan whether they're ghosts upon first laying eyes on them. Shoot, the first thing he asks Jack is "Are ye a filthy phantom?" And in some ways, he was! To Ed, they're all the living ghosts of his past.

Ed's return to the Revenge feels less like coming home and more like stepping into his own grave. This mausoleum filled with the walking ghosts of a life before Stede and after Stede. So when Izzy closes the rift between them by poking at a fresh wound, Ed sees no other choice but to re-assume an active role in the death that defines his profession. Except, you know, with a fresh dose of crippling heartbreak.

I can't wait to see how Season 2 explores Ed's relationships with those ghosts of his past, especially Izzy who's an ever-present, vocal reminder of the things he no longer wants to be or do. I personally feel that following the comparison of Izzy with Mary is more apt and satisfying for its healing potential. Where Stede could kill off his father's and the Badminton's voices telling him he wasn't enough, he could only overcome the guilt of breaking his social contract as a father and husband by facing Mary and telling her with real compassion and vulnerability, "I'm walking away from this family for our mutual good." When will Ed get to do the same with Izzy and for it to stick? Clearly not on the Revenge or his flagship, where the vulnerability he so badly needs is a liability.

I would love a resolution that allows Ed and Izzy to see each other clearly and move onto freer lives like Mary and Stede did, even if I think it would have a vastly different quality to it. Outside of the spousal overtones, Ed and Izzy's relationship feels more intimate than Stede and Mary's did, what with their close physical proximity and a pirate fleet they're accountable to between them. What will it take for Ed to be able to bury his childhood ghosts like Stede did? And what will it take for Izzy to stop haunting Ed with expectations and anxieties that Ed no longer cares for?

#ofmd meta #long post #la meta de mi meta #ofmd #our flag means death #edward teach #stede bonnet #izzy hands #mary allamby bonnet #nigel badminton #chauncey badminton #father bonnet #ivan ofmd #fang ofmd #calico jack ofmd #nathaniel buttons #ed teach meta #Ed teach meta

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alexanderlightweight · 11 months

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Wednesday prompt. So I love the idea of Alec using his hands to create something for Magnus, like a weapon, jewellery, figurines (wood, glass, metal). Just Alec fysicly making something meaning full for Magnus. Bonus if it contains some of himself like soul, blood, energi ... Btw I really love all your writing and I read all the new stuff everytime you post it

ah thank you so much! this belongs to this eldritch delight vs, because i've been neglecting it a bit lately and i miss it. i hope you enjoy this!

uhm... warnings. alec lets his pinky be cut off *it regrows* so he can make a charm for magnus. it's normally cut off yourself in nephilim traditions but alec didn't want to upset magnus.

lumine

Magnus hating losing parts of him is the only reason Alec’s postponed making Magnus this particular present.

It’s an intimate shadowhunter gift and while Alec wants to give it to Magnus mere days before meeting him, he also learns that Magnus isn’t going to appreciate the method behind the gift.

He fights with his desire to make it and his concern of upsetting Magnus for weeks before he finally gives in. It’s incredibly easy to slip while fighting and ‘accidentally’ let down his guard enough for a demon tail to take his pinky. The demon is dead a moment later and while his team is giving him wary looks, Alec merely smirks as he reaches down and collects the digit.

“Sir?” Mirai asks him warily, her gaze careful as she watches him.

“A present, for Magnus.” He tells her casually and then, because he knows his hunters will only be more curious, he adds. “Magnus doesn’t like it when I purposefully maim myself. It seems liked a good opportunity to avoid that.”

“Makes sense.” Mirai agrees and she sighs as she looks over the mess, “makes more sense then why these demons nested here.”

Alec nods in agreement and then leaves, since his presence had never been necessary, and he’d only gone as an excuse to get the materials he needed.

He draws the necessary runes and leaves his finger to his beetles to eat the flesh until the bone is clean and polished and then shows himself to the infirmary.

The medical team is pleased with how clean the cut is and he’ll have a new pinky by nightfall, even if the itch and burn of regrowth is distracting.

The bones are clean before his pinky is regrown, but Alec sets up his tools carefully and lays everything out. He won’t sleep until this is finished, because there is no where he wants to lay his head besides next to Magnus’ own. Which means he needs to finish this quickly.

The bones are tiny and delicate, and Alec has very limited room for mistakes, especially because he doesn’t think Magnus is going to let him get away with the same excuse twice. So, it takes him twice as long as it should, but it’s worth it for the tiny bone’s runes in nephil and Edomeic both. It ends up being no bigger than the tip of his stele and he sets it with a platinum thread on a thin loop that can be hung on a necklace or an earring.

When he’s healed and there’s no evidence of the injury, he goes to Magnus’ with a velvet bag that holds the charm. He presents it with a soft smile, because while Magnus is always delighted by the gifts, he always acts surprised as well. Alec’s going to lure that surprise away eventually, but for now he enjoys it as an aspect of Magnus that needs to be adored.

“Darling, for me?” Magnus asks in delight and then his face pulls into a grimace that Alec wants to kiss away. “Alexander, did you cut off a piece of yourself?” Magnus accuses and Alec is relieved that he can shake his head and promise sincerely that he did not.

“A mishap in the field.” He assures him, “already healed.” And he wiggled his fingers for good measure and Magnus kisses each of them, laving them all with love.

—

“Unacceptable, I can’t bear to part with a single atom of you ever again.” Magnus swears and he clings to Alexander’s hand, unwilling to let go of it when his lips are forced to part from Alexander’s knuckles so he can speak. “You must be more careful, darling. As ghastly as the charm is, it can’t possibly compare to what you meant to me.”

Alexander’s lashes flutter and he ducks his head, letting Magnus sigh in delight and press kisses to Alexander’s jaw and the hollow of his ear.

Magnus fixes the tiny charms of bones lined with demonic runes to dangle from his ear. A piercing everyone can see and admire and know that he carries a devoted piece of Alexander with him always.

“Good fortune and protection for the one I love.” Alexander whispers to him something so sweet and devoted in his voice and Alexander nuzzles into Magnus’ palms, the depth of the stars in his eyes.

#lumine writes #writing wednesday #writing wednesdays #magnus bane #alec lightwood #malec #shadowhunters #shadowhunters au #my fics #my fanfics #my ficlets

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linesonscreens · 4 months

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Let's Read Peanuts (Yes, all of it) – March 1953

There are lots of great strips I just don't have room to comment on. I strongly encourage everybody to read the full month at the official GoComics page. Today's month starts HERE.

Mar 1, 1953

Torn between being irrationally angry at this boomer-ass “kids these days” take and loving that room's aesthetic.

Also I'm pretty sure that this is the song in question for those who are curious.

Mar 3, 1953

I haven't been showing them because the joke is bad and I hate it but there's a whole bunch of strips about Lucy's bread and butter sandwiches and her insistence that they be folded over and not cut. I'm guessing it's a thing Schulz's daughter was doing at the time.

Mar 7, 1953

A mildly antagonistic relationship is forming.

Mar 8, 1953

Living with Lucy must be a special kind of personal hell.

Mar 13, 1953

Careful, that girl will crush your abnormally large head like a grape. I've seen her do it.

Mar 15, 1953

Nice to see Schulz finally figured out how to draw thought bubbles.

Mar 26, 1953

Solid punchline, but the best part is actually the casual dig Schroeder drops in the second panel.

Thoughts:

Watched A Charlie Brown Christmas for the first time in decades over the holiday and it's... fine? I think it's something I respect more than enjoy. There are specific moments that I like and certain artistic decisions that I think work phenomenally (the jazz soundtrack, for example). I even like the message despite not being in any way religious.

But man, it's kind of a mess. I was constantly distracted by awkward cuts, animation errors, weird line readings, and all kinds of other issues. Plus the whole “we need to get this Christmas play ready” plotine just kind of gets dropped at the end and that really bugged the hell out of me. I don't think that this is the animation team's fault, apparently they only had 6 months to write and animate the entire thing, but the lack of polish really shows and I wish they had just a bit more time to tighten things up. Then again, that same jankyness gives the special a certain human touch and charm which I suspect is a large part of why a lot of people still like it even today. So who knows if changing things would make it more enjoyable.

Overall I think this special still ~mostly~ holds up, even if it's not my favorite piece of animated Peanuts media. It's over before you have time to get mad at the parts that don't work and at the end of the day when the kids decorate the tree and start singing I felt the feelings it wanted me to feel. And really, that's all it needed to do.

Soooo... I guess keep this one in mind for when you're looking for something to get you in the Christmas mood in like... 11 months? (Yeah, I really should have watched this thing earlier so I could post this before New Years. Oh well.)

#peanuts #charlie brown #comics #charles schulz #comic strips #peanuts comics #lets read #patty #snoopy #shermy #Violet #Schroeder #Linus #Lucy #A Charlie Brown Christmas #I should really do a full review of the major specials and movies at some point so I can go into more detail.

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nerves-nebula · 5 months

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Are you ever you ever insecure about your art? And could you explain you answer to that?

Venting to you now

Drawing has taken a lot of effort for me, more than usual recently. I started working on something I originally felt really passionate about. It's more common for me to very quickly give up or get bored so I was really excited to be able to post some artwork. But I ended up not liking the result and I'm not sure if I'm willing to try something else. I've given up on trying in a lot of parts of life to try and save energy to do something I thought I was passionate about (art) but I am still lacking the motivation. The reason I reason I really wanted to share it was because I'm terrible with self-motivation. If I can't make at least one person genuinely go 'oh, neat' even for just a second and even if they soon forgot later, I'd feel like I'd have a reason to keep living (to keep making art). If the only people who'd see it end up disappointed I'd want to disappear.

It's not what art should be. I know it's value is like a person's. It's worth more than how someone reacts to it, right? But I can't apply that rule to myself. I should seek support from the people who 'know' and actually care about me, but I don't want their appreciation. I want some imagery status of a 'good artist' because that's what seems to give me dopamine.

I also wanted to mention how much I admire how open you are with your struggles. I want to be the same but I'm scared of people thinking less of me. I know that's dumb but I don't know what I'm good for if I can't make people happy. If I'm not going to be content with myself I want to not be a nuisance at least. I like to think that if I stopped caring about my impression on people, I'd be better off. But I'm scared that I'd have to learn to like myself. I don't like myself and I have no interest in liking myself. I don't see the point.

oh boy, this is gonna be a long one. also, don't take anything i say too seriously, i don't know your situation and I'm barely an adult. anyway, response under the cut

soo lately I'm less insecure about my art and more frustrated when things don't come out well. but i still post that shit !!! I'm still insecure if i'm doing, say, a project for homework, and i don't think i did as well as I could have, but in my personal artistic endeavors it's more about getting it done than it being perfect (for example, my webcomic! my motto is any comic made is better than no comic made and if people don't like that then it wasn't for them in the first place)

the thing about me is that drawing and art and stories is all i've ever had. it's my main form of interacting with the world. these days i make art the same way I live, which is to say in spite of wanting to kill myself. I would LIKE if my art was perfect, and i would LIKE to not be in pain. but i AM in pain and i have to live anyway, and my art ISN'T perfect but i'll make it anyway.

and i like when other people's art isn't perfect either, when it isnt super polished. I think that definitely helped. seeing artists whose work i fell head over heels for when it's never been more than sketches and a bit of shading. it really cemented in my mind that it isn't art being technically perfect that makes it worth while.

i've gotten a lot of people saying kind things to me, saying how much they enjoy my art and my blog in general. and though it doesn't always help, it sometimes inspires me to imagine the number of people who appreciate my stuff who might never mention it to me. I myself am used to lurking and not interacting very much (a habit I'm trying to change since I know artists & creators love feedback most of the time) i know it sucks to not know if anyone gives a shit for sure, but you really can't make that your only reason for doing art, cuz half the time you prolly wont even know if your art deeply affects people or not. it's fine to want that attention but you gotta have something else goin on too, at least I do.

i also know the fear of worrying that you'll lock yourself into something you don't want to do, or something you'll lose passion for. for me, I generally rotate a cast of characters & interests around for years a time before making significant progress. There were spans of times where I'd go years without thinking about loose stitches, but none of that time developing other stories & characters was wasted. it gave loose stitches enough time to properly cook, and the story is still developing under my hands as i draw it, influenced by my other stories and other characters.

it's ok to abandon something and pick it up again years later, or to never pick it up again at all. it's ok to hate the way something turns out but to keep making it anyway because you have to move forward (at least, I do)

moving forward despite not liking the original product is the only way to progress, I think. I don't super like a lot of the first pages of loose stitches but I'm still grateful that past-me posted them because that means present me is at page 76 !!

If I can't make at least one person genuinely go 'oh, neat' even for just a second and even if they soon forgot later, I'd feel like I'd have a reason to keep living (to keep making art). If the only people who'd see it end up disappointed I'd want to disappear.

the problem with this mindset (in my opinion) is that some people aren't going to like your art and that's got nothing to do with the art itself. if you want to find people who go "oh, neat" then you have to keep posting until they see it. trust me, they're out there. like, i don't post for people who can't stand the idea of child abuse, i post to FIND people who want to interact with stories about child abuse the same way i do.

it would be insane to stop trying to find those people because someone else was disappointed or upset by my art. which isn't to say you gotta lock yourself into doing one thing, but that you gotta post what you care about, and people who also care will find it. posting fandom stuff with the same themes as your original art certainly doesn't hurt either, if you REALLY want to find those people faster.

art should be literally whatever. it's worth is literally whatever you want, it can be a big deal or not. i'm not sure what part of being a "good artist" gives your brain the Good Feelings juice but I'd investigate that feeling more and try to figure out the roots of it, cuz then you might actually be able to figure out what it is that motivates you. approval is nice, yes, but i like approval for things i enjoyed making even more.

i always find it amusing when people refer to my "struggles" if only because I don't really consider them that way. to me it's just like, a thing that happened that sucks. i don't consider myself "struggling" with it, even though I guess that's what's happening. also, let's be real here, it's not like I'm using my real name. this is an anonymous tumblr blog. though, my openess on here has actually lead to me making more art about it IRL so. eh.

anyway, lucky for you, you can stop caring about what other people think without necessarily liking yourself! for me, it's about spite (sort of). I don't like myself much more than I used to, I just decided I hated everyone else more haha. I still care what people think about me, and I'm still scared of what people might do to me, but I'm also not bending over backwards to please people i dislike. I just get annoyed at them instead.

i did this basically just by repeating it until it became true, lol. there's only so many times you can petulantly say "well fuck those guys anyway they suck" before it becomes your true first reaction.

at some point, i decided i needed to pick and choose who i wanted to please, because it can't be everyone. that's just literally not possible. so i looked at the kinds of people i liked and appreciated, and basically disregarded everyone else. it's the whole "don't take criticism from someone you wouldn't take advice from" thing (not sure where that comes from)

obviously you should probably try to internalize the idea that you even HAVE to be "good for something" but that's way easier said than done. i find it more useful to devote yourself to finding a few things (causes, people, philosophies, niche interests) instead of just general usefulness. because then you can form stronger relationships, be useful, AND not burn yourself out trying to please everyone.

take all this advice with a grain of salt though, I definitely need therapy and this Bitter Angry Defensive persona will probably need to be deconstructed soon... idk. i think it's outlived its usefulness to me but i'm not sure what to do next hahah.

sorry if none of this was helpful or the point. im not even sure why i wrote this much, i kind of just ramble sometimes. i hope you figure it out!

#nnstuff #ask #asks are sweethearts

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barbwritesstuff · 10 months

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Hey again! I just wanted to write cause I FINALLY had the time to read the actual released version of Blood Moon. It was so nice to experience it fully polished!

Also, reading it all in one go allowed me to really think about it more deeply, and I realized one of my favorite parts of the story is one I've never really seen people talk about... I think it's fascinating how after the Alek's death, for a very "naturally Alpha-oriented MC", the pack seems to instinctively follow them from the get go. Like, it feels incredibly natural, like it's the right order of things. Simply because the MC knows what to do - or at least seems to know - and is willing to actually take things in their hands. I feel like in moments of vulnerability like this one, having someone who can be an "anchor" really helps. And in that moment, if the MC has the heart of an Alpha, they can be that anchor. Strangely enough, that segment is one of my favorite parts of the story despite being so "unassuming" in a way (well, it's an important and painful part of the story, but it's no big epic moment, no romantic moment, no stuff like that), simply because of how strongly we can feel what the pack must feel and the natural power shifts in it.

Another part I REALLY adored and that wasn't in the last WIP I had read was the epilogue. It was such a short segment, but I really think you outdid yourself with it! It felt incredible to read!

That aside, I also had three questions, if you don't mind me making this post even longer than it already is:

When meeting Farro for the first time at the gathering, if the MC shakes his hand and smiles, Farro is momentarily "taken aback" by MC's smile. Is it because he saw the similarities with Jay when he smiles? Or did he simply think MC looks good when they smile?

When all the pack moves in the den after Alek's death, it's said Marco leaves his room so Nikolas and Grace can take it. If Marco is in a relationship with the MC and the MC agrees to that, does he move into the MC's room at least temporarily, or does he pick a different place? It's never specified, and it's hard to get a true answer just from reading the story.

Last one is a bit different... I like to think once shit really dies down after the battle and everything that follows it, my MC will ask if Marco wants to marry him. But there is one thing I've been thinking about - I think one thing my MC would really care about is to make himself a sort of "semi-matching" tattoo before they get married - blue roses. Basically, something to match, but not to be identical. He'd really want to have this tattoo already on him when the marriage actually happens. Assuming that, obviously, this isn't done "to please" or anything like that, and something my MC REALLY wants for himself, what would Marco's thoughts be about that? (and yes, one of my reasons of asking that is me needing to know for when I feel inspired to draw my MC)

Sorry for this way too long ask! Thanks and have a great day!

I'm so glad you got a chance to play the polished version of Blood Moon and that you enjoyed it. Those are some of my favourite moments too. 💙

To answer your questions:

Farro is used to people being nervous around him because of his size (and because he's a shy mountain man that doesn't spend a lot of time around people he doesn't know). If you seem friendly and relaxed, he's surprised by how easy and pleasant this conversation is going.

Marco is only giving up his room for the duration of the siege. Long term, Marco would like to get a job and an apartment near the den. If he's in a relationship with MC, then they can join him there.

Marco would be thrilled and honoured if MC was interested in getting rose tattoos like his. I think he'd think that was really cool.

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jessybarnes · 2 years

Text

Title: Canvas of Love

Pairing: Scott Huffman x F!Reader

Rating: 18+ Only! Minors DNI!

Word Count: 4,168

Tags: SMUT, angst, fluff, unprotected sex, fingering (female receiving), oral (female receiving), biting, marking, age gap, praise kink, maybe a slight itty bitty hint of dom/sub, dirty talk, crying, forced confession of feelings, explicit sexual content, explicit language, and I think I’ve covered everything, but if you see something I should add please let me know!

Written For: @sebastianstanbingo, @kinktober2022, and @anyfandomangstbingo

Squares Filled: Drawing a Crush for Sebastian Stan Bingo // Age Gap for Kinktober // G1 - Boss/Employee for AFG Angst Bingo

Beta(s): T. Thompson and A. DiLorenza

Title Card: Yours Truly

A/N: Since this one shot features an Age Gap, I want to make clear that Scott Huffman is 37 and the reader is 18. I couldn't find what the character's actual age was, so I just went off of how old Sebastian was when the movie was released.

"Excuse me, Mr. Huffman?" You knock on your boss's door and wait a couple of seconds before peeking your head in. "You have a call on line two."

Scott looks up; his light blue eyes that were reading one of the many articles on his desk are now trained on you. They're kind as he offers you a soft smile, and you feel your cheeks heat up.

"Thank you, Y/N. And how many times do I have to tell you to call me Scott?"

He gives you a look that seems almost dominant, but that can't be right. He wouldn't ever see you that way. Your gaze moves to your chipped nail polish. Even though he looks almost the same age as you, your boss is nearly twenty years your senior.

Normally, it's unheard of for a woman your age to get a job as an assistant to one of the most respected men working at the Pentagon, but you were lucky enough to know the right people.

To your friends, it's no secret that you harbor feelings for Scott. He's extremely kind, understanding, respectful, and very, very handsome. Of course, he has no idea how you feel … well, at least you hope he doesn't. It won't bode well for your office relationship, not to mention your career if he finds out.

You realize he's waiting on you to respond, and you nervously return his smile, answering him the same way you always do. "At least once more, Mr. Huffman."

Your eyes close, and you let out a long breath as you carefully shut his door. Honestly, it's a miracle that he hasn't figured out your crush on him. You catch yourself staring all the time, and if he knew what was in your sketchbook locked in your bottom desk drawer? There's no way he'd be able to look at that and not know you have feelings for him.

The folders on your desk catch your eye, and you sigh. If you want to leave at a decent time this afternoon, then you need to get through all of the case file notes from the past week.

You sit down and smooth out your pencil skirt before grabbing the top file from the stack. There are several different things that you're tasked to do for Scott, but this one is by far the most time-consuming.

Transferring the handwritten case notes into the computer system is a bit tedious, but you know what a big opportunity this job is, and you're more than happy to do it.

A couple of hours go by, and you've made it about halfway through the pile. You're munching on a carrot stick when Carlton Stanton, one of Scott's colleagues, taps on the top of your desk impatiently.

"Hey! Do you know where Scott is? I've been looking for him for an hour."

Even though he gives you bad vibes and is rather rude, you still give him a warm smile.

"Mr. Huffman has been in his office all morning to my knowledge, Mr. Stanton. I can let him know you're waiting for him if you'd li-"

He waves you off dismissively, "no, thanks. I can let him know myself."

You frown and watch as he barges into Scott's personal space like a bull in a china shop. He shuts the door rather harshly, and you can hear them having a heated conversation.

Moments later, a seemingly annoyed Scott emerges with Carl. He gives you a tight-lipped smile and stops in front of you. "Hold all of my calls for the rest of the afternoon, please. And can you also reschedule my four o'clock for tomorrow?"

Your eyes meet his and you nod, "of course, Mr. Huffman. I'll do that right away, sir." You watch them leave and can only hope he isn't angry with you.

Even though he's gone for the rest of your shift, Scott is still fresh in your mind. He always is. As embarrassing as it is, you often conjure up scenarios of the two of you in your head.

A picnic in the park, both of you sitting on a blanket as you share a nice meal. And afterward, Scott holds you with your back to his chest while the shade of the trees shelters you from the harsh sun.

Another time, it was you and him snuggling on his couch or what you picture as his couch since you have no idea what it looks like. There's a bowl of popcorn between the two of you, and the latest action movie plays on the TV.

The latest one, however, was the both of you laying in the bed of his truck watching the stars. The crisp, cool air nips at your skin, but Scott has his arm around you, so you stay warm. The moonlight makes his eyes sparkle as he looks at you, and it's the most intimate moment you've experienced.

Well, not really… more like it's the most intimate moment your inner conscience has experienced.

You blink and refocus; the last folder is open, revealing the final notes you need to copy over. The thought of leaving them for tomorrow crosses your mind, but the hard worker in you outweighs it, and you begin typing.

By the time you're done, you're the last one in the office. After making sure you've secured the files and locked everything up, you head home to finish out the remainder of your night.

Once again, you try to think about something other than your boss and your unwavering feelings for him, and once again, you fail. You begin to fall asleep and remember how Scott always looks at you when you refer to him as Mr. Huffman. His piercing, blue eyes are the last thing you see before sleep takes you.

The next morning, you wake up ten minutes before your scheduled alarm, so you decide to go ahead and shut it off. You couldn’t go back to sleep even if you tried. Wednesdays are your new favorite day. Not because it’s the middle of the week, but because Scott and you have lunch together. He makes sure to take the time to do that with you once a week just to ensure you’re not having any issues.

A bright red and white sundress from your closet catches your eye, and you pair it with some white flats before styling your hair. A bit of light makeup finishes your look, and you’re happy to see that you have enough time to stop and grab Scott and yourself some coffee. Of course, you’ve memorized the way he takes it because why wouldn’t you? You loved seeing him smile, and you’ll take advantage of being the cause of it every chance you get.

You’re running about fifteen minutes late once you pull into the staff parking lot, but hopefully, the coffee gesture qualifies as a get-out-of-jail-free card. By the time you make it to the hallway that your office is in, you can hear Carl talking and you try not to let the fact that he’s already probably starting his usual shit sour your mood. What you weren’t prepared for was him sitting behind your desk, flipping through your sketchbook, and about ready to show every single one of your drawings to Scott.

You freeze in the doorway, unable to even breathe as you listen to what he says. They haven’t seen you yet, and you’re hoping that they won’t. “I told you that little girl’s got a thing for you, man. Just look at what I found inside her bottom desk drawer.”

Scott whips around, venom laced in his tone as he fires back at his colleague. “First of all, Y/N isn’t a little kid. She’s eighteen, and she does amazing work for me that I would never be able to accomplish without her. Second of all, leave her things alo-” He stops, words dying on his tongue as he takes in what he’s seeing.

Drawings.

Multiple pages of drawings and they’re of him.

It’s then that they both look up and see you standing there with humiliation and sheer terror all over your face. You still haven’t taken a breath, and you pray that the floor opens up and swallows you whole.

Carl sneers, “see that? Just look at her. She was too scared to tell you how she felt, and now that her dirty little secret’s out, she still can’t own up to how inappropriate this is.”

You finally suck in a breath, but your throat still feels like it’s closing up. Tears sting your eyes, and you begin to shake as the coffee falls from your hands and spills all over the carpet. Scott shoots Carl a death glare and starts towards you, but before he can get close, you turn on your heel and take off running.

“Y/N, wait!” Scott calls after you, but it’s no use. He’s lost sight of you in the sea of people still coming in to start their morning shifts. That’s it. He’s had enough of the way Carl bullies everyone, and he’s especially had it with the way he treats you. He storms back into your portion of the office and snatches the sketchbook out of his hands.

“Get. Out.”

Carl chuckles, “aw come on. I was just teasing her.”

Scott grabs him by the front of his shirt and slams him against the wall, his eyes narrowed to thin, perilous slits. “Yeah, well, it wasn’t fucking funny, Stanton. Y/N is a wonderful woman and an even harder worker that I go out of my way to make feel welcomed and valued here. I’m sure she already catches shit for how young she is, but that doesn’t mean she needs to get it from you, too. You’re a fucking bully, and I never want to see so much as one of your goddamn toes step foot in this office again. Get. The. Fuck. Out!”

Once Carl’s gone, Scott grabs his suit jacket and makes sure to lock up the office before going to find where you’d gone. He finally finds you crying in your car and gently taps on the glass,

“Y/N”?

You wipe your eyes and roll down your window, “if you’ve come to mock me or tell me that I’m fired, save it. I just want to leave with what’s left of my dignity.”

He frowns, “what? You’re not fired, and I’m not going to mock you. I’m flattered that you’d take the time to draw me of all things.” He opens your door and holds his hand out. “Can we go talk? It is Wednesday, and you know I always treat you to lunch.”

Everything inside of you wants to refuse, but you also don’t want to disappoint him, so you reluctantly take his hand and let him pull you to your feet.

You're close, more so than you've ever been, and even though his face is blurry from the tears in your eyes, you can see the concern in his. Scott tries wiping your tear-stained cheeks with his thumbs, but fresh ones immediately take their place. It's so hard being in this moment with him, knowing that he's just going to let you down easy. Why would he, a thirty-seven-year-old man, want anything romantically to do with you, an eighteen-year-old woman?

“I wish I knew how to get you to stop crying,” Scott says softly. “Would you want to go sit at one of the picnic tables around back instead of going somewhere more public?”

You nod because you don’t quite trust yourself to talk yet and walk with him toward the side of the building. The two of you stay quiet, other than your occasional sniffle, and eventually take a seat at a table in the shade. He’s watching you, studying your demeanor, but it doesn’t make you feel uncomfortable. You’re still too nervous to look him in the eyes, so you pick at the varnish on your nails instead.

A few minutes pass before he sighs, “I’m sorry about Carl. He’s an ass and had no right to treat you that way. I want you to know that I made him leave, and he won’t bother us again if he knows what’s good for him.” He hesitantly reaches across the table and gently grabs your hand. “Will you tell me what’s on your mind, sweetheart?”

Butterflies erupt in your stomach, and you blush furiously.

He called you, sweetheart!

You lick your dry lips and wipe your eyes with your free hand before looking up at him. It’s hard not to get your hopes up when he’s looking at you like this. “Well, I…there’s um…there’s a lot on my mind right now. For starters, you’re now fully aware of my feelings for you. How are you okay with this? I mean, no offense, but you’re technically old enough to be my father. Not that you look it. If I’m being honest, you look my age. I just find it hard to believe that someone like you could ever be interested in someone like me.”

Scott scoffs, “seriously? Do you truly believe that I wouldn’t be interested in someone as smart and as talented as you? Not to mention beautiful.” He leans across the table, and his free hand cups your cheek, so you stay looking at him. “Just like your drawings, you too are very beautiful, Y/N. Anyone would be lucky to have you, and yet, I’m the lucky one you chose to have feelings for.”

His eyes move to your lips, “can I kiss you?”

You swallow thickly, suddenly aware that anyone could see you two like this. He doesn’t seem to mind, so you throw caution to the wind and nod, “yes.”

His lips press to yours, slow and tentative, and you’re half expecting him to change his mind. He doesn’t though. He sighs and deepens the kiss, his other hand threading softly through your hair as he tilts his head to the side to gain better access. He kisses you like he wants to like he’s longed to be able to, and it makes your core throb at the thought of him wanting to do more with you.

Scott pulls away, but he doesn’t go too far. His lip curls up in a slight smirk as his thumb grazes your lower lip. “Do you wanna get outta here?”

You stare at him with wide, unsure eyes. “What about work? Won’t we get into trouble for leaving after only being here part of the morning?”

He laughs and shakes his head, “honey, I’m your boss. You’d only get in trouble with me, and well,” he bites his lip, “I don’t plan on reprimanding you…yet.”

“And what about you?” The concerned look on your face is the polar opposite of how your body reacts to his previous comment. If he only knew how your panties were soaked through at the thought of him choking you…spanking you… possibly even restraining you. Scott doesn’t seem like the type to be into such things, but you’ve always been told that it’s the sweet and quiet ones that are the most dominant in the bedroom.

“I’m taking the rest of the afternoon off.” He stands and holds out his hand to you for the second time that day. “Shall we?”

Scott strives for your comfort; of that much you’re sure. You fully believe that he would have offered to take you back to his place, but instead, he drives to yours, and you’re thankful that you took the time to clean up.

It’s weird seeing your boss standing in the middle of your living room. He’s taking everything in, smiling at all of the artwork on your wall, and it’s then that you remember the piece you’ve been working on the nights that you couldn’t sleep.

“I’ve um… I have something for you. I just finished it last night.” He follows you to your desk, and you watch as he carefully picks up the canvas. “I hope you don’t mind that I made you my official muse. I just… drawing you comes so easily to me and not to mention you’re really beautiful and I-”

Scott slips his free arm around your waist, pulling you flush against him. The intensity of his gaze renders you speechless. “I love it, Y/N. You don’t need to explain yourself to me.”

He kisses you again; only this time, it’s more passionate, and you can sense his urgency as his mouth moves with yours. Scott blindly sets the artwork down and backs you up until your legs hit the foot of your bed.

“Is this okay?” He tucks a strand of hair behind your ear and searches your eyes for any uncertainty.

“Yes, it’s more than okay.”

Scott captures your lips once more and gently lays you down. It amazes you how, at this moment, he looks even more beautiful, towering over you with the look of pure, unaltered desire in his eyes, and it’s all for you.

His gaze rakes over you, taking in the way your sundress is bunched up around your hips, the way your chest rises and falls as you breathe heavily, but mostly it’s how you’re looking up at him. There’s so much adoration, so much trust that he’ll take care of you, and that, combined with the little bit of innocence in your eyes, is his undoing.

"God, you look so damn gorgeous, baby."

You reach for his belt to get it undone and he chuckles at your haste. “You don’t have to rush this, sweetheart. I’m not going anywhere.”

A needy whine leaves your lips just as you get his zipper down, “But I want you.”

“And you have me, Y/N.” Scott pushes his dress pants down and kicks them off and his shirt joins them on the floor a moment later. Then he’s on you again, his teeth nipping the skin on your neck while his right hand pulls your panties to the side for better access.

“You’re already so wet for me. I can’t wait to hear you scream for me while I make you cum on my cock, baby. I bet you’ll sound so pretty.

Hearing him talk to you like this shouldn’t be as hot as it is, but you’ve thrown caution to the wind at this point. The way he’s grinding himself against your thigh makes it clear that he wants you just as bad anyway.

“Scott, please…”

He moves down your body, leaving a chaste kiss in the valley of your breasts. His big hands hike up the bottom of your dress over the swell of your ass and he finally rests on his stomach between your spread legs.

“I’ll take care of you, sweetheart.”

Scott’s fingertips hook around the waistband of your panties and he slowly slides them down your legs. He tosses them somewhere behind him and grabs you by the hips, pulling you toward him. Starting at your ankle, he leaves a trail of open-mouth kisses, each one a claim that leaves you more breathless the closer he gets to where you want him most.

One of his hands holds you in place while the two middle fingers on his other one move slowly through your soaked folds. He pushes them in just as his lips close around your clit and you swear you’ve died and gone to heaven.

“Scott! Oh, my god!”

He flicks your bundle of nerves with his tongue and moves his fingers slightly faster. “Mmm, you taste so fuckin’ good, baby. God, I could eat this pretty, little pussy all day. I swear.” He’s taking his time with you and although it feels sinfully good, you want more. You want to come undone on his tongue.

His movements are precise and calculated as if he’s trying to map out every place that makes you cry out for him. Scott’s grip tightens, his thumb slotting in the divot of your hip to allow for better leverage as he devours your pussy.

Your hands tangle in his short, dark locks, desperately trying to pull him closer to your core as you grind against his mouth. The sensation of the way his tongue rolls across your clit is unlike anything you’ve ever felt and when he curls his fingers to rub the rough patch inside of you, it makes your eyes roll back.

“Oh, my fucking god! Scott! Baby, please!”

His eyes lock with yours and he groans, the vibrations making your legs start to shake. The determination to make you fall apart for him is unmistakable. His pupils nearly cover all of the blues of his irises, and the way he’s looking at you makes you clench around him.

“Oh, fuck… fuck you’re gonna…I’m gonna…”

Scott adds a third finger and you arch your back. You feel your walls begin to flutter and with one careful drag of his teeth, you shatter into a million pieces. He works you through it, slowly pumping his fingers while the aftershocks of your orgasm ripple over you in waves. Finally, he pulls off of you and you smile blissfully at him, the feral look on his face telling you that he’s not even close to being done with you.

“I’m gonna fuck you full of my cum, babydoll.”

He moves up so he can kiss you, the taste of yourself on his tongue making you whimper as he lines his cock up to your entrance. “Gonna fuckin’ ruin you, pretty girl.”

The stretch to accommodate him is a pleasure you’ve never known. He begins to move and you wrap your legs around his waist so he’s flush against you every time he slides home. He leans on his forearm so he can kiss you while the slow drag of his cock makes you moan his name like a prayer.

“Scott! Oh, god, baby, you feel so good…”

“Yeah? Do you like that, Y/N? You’re bein’ so good for me, honey.” He peppers kisses along the column of your throat before sucking a reddish, purple mark in the same spot. “Fuck, your pussy’s so good…taking me so well. None of those boys your age know how to make you feel this way, do they baby? Come on, tell me. Tell me who fucks you this good.”

You cry out, the kindling of your second orgasm sparking into a red, hot flame. “You do! Fuck, baby, only you do!”

“That’s right, sweetheart. Only I can make you feel this good.”

Scott said he was going to ruin you, and he’s done just that. No one you’ve ever been with before has fucked you like this, and you’re convinced that no one else ever will. It doesn’t matter anyway because you can’t imagine wanting anyone else. You knew you were attracted to him from the beginning, but it took you until now to realize that you belong to him.

“Scott! Oh, god, please! Please, I want you to make me cum! I wanna be a good girl and cum for you again!”

His eyes gleam with lust as he looks down at you. “My sweet girl,” he coos. “You’re so polite. Asking me for permission and wanting to be my good little girl. Is that what you need? Do you need to cum all over my cock, baby?”

You only nod, because it’s all you can do. He’s fucking you harder, the flared head of his dick hitting your spot at an angle that makes your vision go white.

“That’s it, Y/N. Come on, honey. Let go for me.”

And so you do. You scream his name and nearly sob as pure bliss flows through your body like a tidal wave. Scott isn’t far behind, his teeth sinking into the skin of your shoulder as he paints your walls with his cum.

You’re still shaking in his arms and you plant a soft his into his sweaty hair. He sighs and turns his head to the side so he can look up at you.

“I don’t know how it’s possible, but I swear you’re even more beautiful.”

You blush and shake your head, “Thank you, but you’re the beautiful one.”

“I’m serious, Y/N. You’re stunning.”

You smile, but it doesn’t meet your eyes and Scott frowns. “What do I have to do to prove it to you, pretty girl?”

You smile and lightly stroke his arm, “I don’t know, but I’m sure you’ll figure something out.”

He closes his eyes and feels himself begin to drift off. He’d already decided the moment he realized you felt the same way he did. No matter what it takes, he’ll make sure you always know how much he cares for you. His reply comes easily, and even though it’s barely audible he knows you hear him.

“I promise to tell you at least once a day for the rest of our lives.”

#j snow writes #sebastianstanbingo #kinktober2022 #anyfandomangstbingo #afangst #sebstanbingo #ssbingo #scott huffman #scott huffman x you #scott huffman x reader #scott huffman x y/n #scott huffman smut #scott huffman fluff #scott huffman angst #the last full measure

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bobfloydsbabe · 11 months

Note

I've been listening to a lot of Dolly Parton lately so I've got two song fic titles for you: "Lonely Comin' Down" and "Cowgirl and The Dandy" whichever speaks to you more babe!

I hope your holiday was lovely and treated you well 🌸

Annie, my love, it's been a minute. It was nice to get away for a while, but I'm happy to be back. Lonely Comin' Down is a perfect song (and title) for the Outlaw!Rhett and Bartender!Lou AU my wonderful friend @joaquinwhorres put into my head a while ago. I'll share the little bit I've written for that.

“Abbott,” her smooth voice says without taking her eyes off the shot glasses she’s currently pouring tequila into.

He chuckles and slides onto an empty stool, folding his hands on the counter. His eyes follow her as she hands off the shots to two girls with ruddy cheeks and barely contained giggles.

He watches Lou add the shots to their tap in the system. She hasn’t changed much. Her hair is shorter than he remembers, and the cut she had near her elbow when he was last in town is just a faded white scar now.

“You’re a wanted man,” she says, placing a bottle in front of him on an off-white cocktail napkin.

“Always am,” he tells her with a half smile. “Ladies can’t get enough of me.”

She snorts, shaking her head, but he offers her a wink when her gaze meets his. “You’re a fugitive.”

He shrugs and sips from the beer bottle. The cold liquor glides down his throat, the familiar taste something akin to coming home. He knows this place, this beer, this girl like the back of his hand.

“I wish you weren’t so nonchalant about this,” she says, wringing the towel in her hands. Her fingers are long and slender, blue polish peeling off her nails, and that silver monogram ring, LK, she’s always worn on her index finger. The same as always.

“You worried about me, darlin’?”

She tosses the dish towel on the bar disk, leaning back against the counter behind her. “Luke Tillerson is the sheriff now,” she says, folding her arms across her chest and her jaw clenches. “He’s out for blood.”

Shaking his head, he takes another long draw from the bottle. He’s stalling, doesn’t want the girl who keeps him coming back that he’s worried.

“He’s always been out for blood,” he says finally, placing the bottle back on the napkin.

“But now he has authority,” Lou says with not a hint of mirth in those deep brown eyes. “He could lock you up on sight.”

Rhett shrugs. “What’s life without a little danger?”

She rolls her eyes at him, but he swears the corners of her mouth turn up as she walks to the opposite end of the bar to serve another patron.

Her ass still looks good in those jeans.

Rhett takes a long draw of his beer, taking in the sounds in the bar. A man coughs from years of smoking a pack a day. A group of young girls laugh and dare each other to go talk to a handsome cowboy. Could be him, could be Jimmy, who always sits in his booth alone, watching everyone come and go. Either way, they’ll be disappointed. Jimmy swings for the opposite team and Rhett only has eyes for the bartender.

“You enjoy your evening,” he hears Lou’s cheerful voice tell the patrons she’s just served. An out-of-town couple, Rhett thinks.

She takes a few steps back up the expanse of the bar, but something catches her eye. She moves a few bottles of cheap liquor to the side, revealing her phone hidden behind them. The screen shines with what he assumes is a new text.

Something akin to a bell jiggles nearby, bringing his attention away from Lou. He looks down toward the sound, finding a flurry of black and white fur coming towards him. Denver. He smiles to himself when the dog sits down at his side and lowers his head just slightly. He’s asking for pets, and Rhett complies.

“You taking good care of your Mama?”

Denver wags his tail, happily accepting the scratches to his head. “Yeah?”

“Abbott,” Lou calls as she’s walking back towards him, phone in hand. There’s a wild look in her eyes that he can’t quite place, but the free hand running through her hair is a telltale sign of anxiety.

“You have to go,” she says, grabbing his half-finished beer from the counter. “Tillerson knows you’re in town and he’s on his way here.”

“How the hell does he know that?”

Lou shrugs. “I don’t know,” she says, ushering him around the bar. “But Carrie Taylor overheard him talking about it and gave me a head’s up.”

Standing behind the counter in Lou’s bar isn’t entirely new to him. He still remembers when she was still renovating and had convinced him to help bring the wooden countertop inside. It was the first time he kissed her, right before he left town.

Standing here now, he sees the specks of gold in her rich brown eyes, and her lashes fanning across her cheeks. He leans down, ghosting his mouth over her lips, and she sucks in a breath like a promise.

Denver gives off a warning bark.

“Down, cowboy,” Lou whispers, pointing down at the sticky floor and Rhett raises a brow.

“Down there?”

“That or be arrested,” she says, pulling back the curtain, revealing the kegs of beer, a bucket of wet rags, and a crate of empty bottles. Otherwise it’s empty, but there’s still hardly any space for him to squeeze into. Rhett’s a lean guy, but he’s tall and his shoulders are broad, so one of them is definitely going to poke out. “Your choice,” she says, as if he has other options.

“Fine,” Rhett grumbles and sinks down on his knees, the denim of his jeans sticking to the floor. It was under very different, and much more pleasurable, circumstances he was last on his knees in front of Lou.

send a fake fic title and i'll write a blurb

#rhett abbott x oc #rhett abbott #otp: outlaw x bartender #anniesocsandgeneralstore #answered #fake fic title ask game #oc: lou kinney #otp: lou x rhett #outlaw au #mail

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go-to-the-mirror · 1 year

Text

March, 2023

I MEANT TO DRAW SOMETHING HHHH

Istg, if the only art I make for this whole relisten is for fatigue I'm gonna cry.

Anyway, 152 time!! I love 152, I love Jon and Helen, I love the parallels, I'm excited, ohhh this is so cool we're heading to like fantastic episode WAY TOO MANY NOTES ones really quickly (too quickly, i want to draw something for 160) and yeah! Yeah! Oh god it's almost season 5.

Below is a mixture of amazing words - mostly Jonny's /j (i have some as well) - and rambling. I love this statement so. much. now.

@a-mag-a-day!!!

I'm putting a content warning for I think it's unreality, cause I talk a bit about... not being able to trust yourself, and that could be... not grand for some people.

Statement of Hezekiah Wakely, regarding his career as a gravedigger. Compiled from a series of letters to Nathaniel Beale between 1837 and 1839. Audio recording by Jonathan Sims, the Archivist.

Who's Nathaniel Beale? I feel like I've seen his name before. Unless, of course, it's another Michael situation. There's... Nathaniel Thorp and Nathaniel Lukas. Hmm.

I’ve been installed here some weeks now, and I’m finding myself well-contented, my sexton duties keeping my time employed such as I scarce have a chance to allow myself those dark thoughts that so concerned you when last we visited.

What thoughts, I wonder. It probably mentions it further along, but I haven't really paid attention to this statement enough to be sure. For a while I thought it was "A Gravedigger's Entry".

The Lord gave him that voice for a purpose, no doubt – but sometimes that purpose does feel like it might be providing me a few minutes of unearned slumber

Hehe

My troubled sleep, on the other hand, has not, of yet, resolved itself in any way to my satisfaction. I work myself to exhaustion, cleaning, polishing and looking after the church proper, and I tell you, when I lie abed I can scarce rise again for the weakness I leave myself in. And yet, sleep still eludes me.

Heh, real. I too cannot sleep.

I’ve never quite known a rest like it. Perhaps it is the harder, more physical aspect of the task, or perhaps the quiet rhythm of it. There’s no echo as there is in the church, just the sound of pick and shovel hitting dirt. And when it’s deep enough, when you stand at the bottom, the noise of the world just… fades away to nothing. It is the sort of quiet that makes you feel as though the commotion and hubbub of life were but a terrible dream, and in sleeping you were waking up to peace.

BLANKETS ARE NOT ENOUGH I NEED TO BE BURIED ALIVE

That just sounds so?? Nice??? HHhnhnmhn

There is such peace in the churchyard, you see: to walk atop the soil knowing that, deep below my feet, those blessed souls wait happy and silent in the cool, damp earth, counting the days until the Resurrection. It gives me such warmth to think of that I have taken to spending much of my unoccupied time wandering the graves, and, where the mood allows me, taking my sleep there.

That is creepy, but like... I mean... I can understand it? It's nice to be outside in nights that aren't too cold, it's nice to sleep under the stars, the creepy part is the fact that it's a graveyard, but that can be brushed aside.

But I do long for that rest. I tell myself I wake each day renewed, but I am never as truly satisfied as when I’m in my slumber, and insensible to the world.

This statement is making me want to go to sleep and/or be buried in the dirt.

I do find, however, that when I dig my graves, I have been going deeper. And at times, I worry I might dig so far as I can no longer get out with my meager ladder. Now, those moments – you must not cast judgment on me for this, Nathaniel, for it is simply a passing fancy – but I will often lie myself down on that soft earth, and I will sleep. And I swear to you that the sleep I find there is more blissful than any I have ever found.

A Gravedigger's Envy? He's getting the nice grave sleep, I want the nice grave sleep, how is Jonny making grave sleep sound so appealing?

At least until a few feet down. But by the end of it… oh, I tell you there was warmth in that grave. Whether by my own body or the heat of the soil, I couldn’t say, but it was as comfortable as the fireplace of a public house, and the wind could not reach me in the hole that I had made.

I want that, I really want the grave sleep, that sounds so nice.

I had a dream, then. I dreamt a rain had come. A terrible bitter rain that chilled my bones and turned the soil around me dark and sodden. The walls grew damp and slippery, their firm shape lost as they began to slip and crumble. And then all at once they collapsed, the grave filling in a moment with a wave of mud and wet dirt. In a single terrible moment of utter terror, it was atop and around me, covering my face and filling my lungs with its awful choking sod. And the strangest thing was that it was wonderful. I had never felt such safety as within the crushing weight of earth all around me, the pressing embrace of the buried. In that instant I knew what it was to be dead, and I ached with envy for them.

Ok, hi, I saw a post, and I was thinking about the post, and I'm going to make a vague rebuttal (friendly-like, because they had good points). Hezekiah was afraid before the walls crashed around him. He was not afraid of some other terror, he was afraid of being buried - in the dead way or the forever deep below creation way... I don't know. Seems to be both, fear soup, remember.

The dreamers that have no idea what Smirke's fourteen is, or the supernatural, still affect the dream. Hezekiah associates being buried with being dead, and therefore the fears affect him as if being buried and being dead were similar things. I'm guessing quite a lot of people fear destruction and associate that with their fear of fire. Spiders and control for the aesthetic and also little bug guys fear being trapped when they're in a spider's web. People fear judgement when they're being looked at. (Speaking of, I swear at the shops today everyone was looking at me, like I saw them look at me, I felt their eyes on me, I associated this with the fear of judgement, and was appropriately spooked. What is this, episode 188 of The Magnus Archives?)

Anyway, back to this, Hezekiah's fear transformed into what Hezekiah became. Similarly, Martin - he was afraid of being alone, abandoned, and afraid of being found out. He became an "avatar" of The Lonely and The Eye. Also, would Martin's fear of being alone and being judged overlap, or feel similar? Is this why he gets both?

Mike was afraid of the part of The Twisting Deceit (The Spiral) that chased him, but he also had encounters with The Vast before Ex Altiora, he was afraid of the unfathomable power of that which chased him, he said that the form it took belonged to The Vast, the way he describes the pain of being struck by lightning - how it is so painful that to try to measure it is impossible. That's all pretty Vast-y to me.

Jane... Jane was afraid of the Hive. She didn't want it, she was afraid, she went to it... sure, she was lonely, but looking at her statement, how much of it is the Hive - if we're separating the two - and how much is Lonely? She talks of picking at her skin, of worms that emerged from the ground after rain, of an itch that called her to the attic, to the wasp's nest.

Sure, something chased them to becoming an Avatar, but I wouldn't go so far as to say it's "another fear" both because fear soup and because... a lot of their stories are about being repulsed and terrified by something, but getting so caught up in it that you forget that person who was scared, and you hurt others just how you've been hurt. Cycle of violence, babyyyy!

For an example, let's grab Peter and Martin. Peter's from the family of... basically a cult? Sure, he doesn't seem too bothered by it, but humans are social animals, and he was neglected for his whole childhood, that fucks people up @ the person who said yea Peter's childhood was actually fine. Then he becomes an avatar of the Forsaken and manipulates Martin into becoming an avatar of The Lonely in turn, who then - in the Eyepocolypse - hurts people in his domain. It's not one to one, but no analogies are.

I’ve been thinking, Nathaniel, of funerals and bodies. Souls that escape leaving this common clay to become one again with a truer clay. Were we not created from mud? And it seems more fitting to me that we should return forever to that mud, not pulled from it by some would-be Redeemer, or lifted to sing hosannas in his holy court. I’ve worked so long, so hard. Do I not deserve a rest in the mud from which I came? Commit my body to the earth and let it stay there. I’d do the same for you. For worship of the Most High - though it may be earned, perhaps, by He that made the heavens and the earth - well, to my mind, all that prayer still sounds a lot like work.

The difference between this and the beginning. Speedrunning his decent, as it were. The difference between envying the dead, and their rest before they go to Heaven, to wishing that when he leaves the world he stays in the ground. Hmmmm!!

But He is the son of God and we are merely sons of the dirt. We are not as strong as He is, and we deserve rest. We deserve to sleep.

The Buried oft represents being metaphorically under pressure, as Hezekiah is. He wishes to be Buried to finally rest from his work. That's interesting to me.

Also, feels sort of Flesh-y, but in a way where it's like... yes, soup, is not the fear of being one and the same as animals, as already being dead, as being from the earth and knowing one day you shall return all part of the same thing? Is that not a similar fear? Feels like one to me. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, that's about death, that's about the earth, are they not one and the same? We all come from the same earthen roots, people, animals, plants, everything, we are the same, and we will die the same.

I’ve been trying to sleep, but that bell kept ringing, the one over Jacob the baker’s grave. That nonsense safety valve the Reverend insisted on putting there, ringing and ringing, and disturbing the sleep of everyone in the churchyard. I’ve no doubt it disturbed Jacob as well, who worked so hard all his life and never thought to complain of his lot. He deserved to rest. So I cut the cord. And now he is quiet.

Oh, lord, he buried Jacob alive.

But I can see why he did it. He fears being away from the earth, he fears not being able to die, and so he sees it as saving Jacob and I understand that, I can understand that in his position, robbed of restful sleep, the grave being the only place where he can find his rest that he would do this.

I think this statement has just achieved the rank of "one of my favourites," because... that line. "He deserved to rest. So I cut the cord. And now he is quiet."

But worry not, Nathaniel. The love I bear you will not let me leave you ignorant. As I did with the Reverend, I will come and I will show you, once and forever, the true and glorious peace of the Buried.

Wow. Just... wow.

Nathaniel Beale is buried on the grounds of St. Peter’s Church in his hometown of Dunstable. And I am only the third person to know that in almost 200 years, after Nathaniel Beale himself, and Mr. Wakeley, the person who buried him.

Hey, we're still getting post-statement spookiness, but because everyone's just stopped doing work it's with Jon's eye spookiness.

I... wow.

I cannot tell how much of the change that comes over someone when they are taken by one of the Fears is a direct product of their influence, and how much is their own mind, desperately contorting itself to accept and justify the awful things they find themselves drawn to doing.

I have a really good quote that ties in with this, but it's only in the deluxe transcript of Hive (patreon exclusive transcripts that have Jon's notes and are canon, the Hive one is the most emotionally ruining of the ones out (1 - 33 as of 22/03/2023) so far), but I will say that his attitude towards them has changed significantly as he's... become one.

He called Jane Prentiss "the entity formerly known as Jane Prentiss" and now... hm...

It's interesting how his understanding or conception of avatars and the like changing over the seasons, and although season 4 doesn't have a lot of other avatar interactions... Jon's whole humanity thing, it's enough to make it my favourite season when it comes to this stuff.

I have read many statements now by those who are changing, who are becoming – something else, and few if any of them seem… entirely rational. Entirely the people that they were before.

GIDDY LEG WIGGLE LIKE HHJNNHNHEHN!!! Humanity and identity and monsterhood and trauma!!! The THEMES of this podded cast, I'm love, I'm love!

But how can I tell, I suppose. My job is to view people at their lowest, their most fearful and unstable moments. Perhaps there is less change there than I imagine. Certainly, I don’t feel different. I have no desire for pseudo-religious philosophizing, or delighting in the suffering of those I harm. Then again, I suppose I’m hardly in the best position to judge. Perhaps to anyone listening to these tapes I sound remarkably similar to Hezekiah. Or to Manuela. Or to Jane.

So, I talked about this to my (middlest) sister because sometimes when you're this excited about things you just have to talk to people, like actually talk, and I had some pretty good thoughts about rationality, about if you can know if you're a monster. If you're slipping and you can't trust your mind anymore, how can you trust your mind enough to know that you can't trust your mind? It's just, how can you know you're so far gone, if you can't trust you, then you can't trust trusting you, therefore you can never truly trust yourself, can you? Everything is your perception, and you will never know if you can trust that. You will only know that you can't.

I just think that it's very neat, the whole... everything, all of this, it's just really cool, like how would Hezekiah know he's wrong to be responsible for the death of Jacob, for the Reverend, for Nathaniel? Does he? How does Jon know if he's just like Hezekiah, how can you truly know yourself - or understand yourself? Oh boy, this is such a cool statement and post statement.

HELEN Hello, John. Been a while since you’ve been down here. ARCHIVIST (Impatient noise) I didn’t come here to see you. HELEN Oh, come now! I’m sure I’m more interesting company than the late Jane Prentiss. ARCHIVIST It’s all that’s left of her now – apart from a jar of ashes in my desk. Just a circle of rotten stone on an otherwise-unremarkable wall.

Is the circle of stone a mirror? Is the jar of ashes as much a part of you as your rib? What was she trying to achieve, you wondered so long ago and now you have the answer and you still don't know why... why she listened to the song in her dreams, why she scratched the itch, but then again, why did you?

HELEN (Cont.) Ah… But that’s not why you’re here, is it? ARCHIVIST Yeah. I’ve been thinking a lot about Jane. She was the first, you know. The first I actually encountered like… like us. She seemed so… inhuman. Like everything she used to be was stripped away. HELEN And now…? ARCHIVIST I wonder how much of her was still in there. How much did she choose to be what she was? I read her statement, she was… (inhale, exhale) she was scared. I assumed she’d been possessed completely against her will, but now I’m not even sure that’s possible. HELEN It is astounding the sort of thing you’re willing to choose – given an unpleasant enough alternative – isn’t it? ARCHIVIST How much of willpower is just – safety? “Comfort” by another name. The option to choose and be fine.

THEMES OF CHOICE AND HOW MUCH YOU'RE AFFORDED!!! God, I love this so much! I love how Jane Prentiss, our and Jon's conception of Jane Prentiss changes from season 1 to season 4. How it starts with her as an inhuman enemy, no longer the person she was, and changes to be... what was she, why did she chose this, who was she, she's humanised as Jon becomes a monster, knows her. Understands her.

She was scared.

Good lord.

And then Jon's line, "How much of willpower is just - safety. Comfort by another name. The option to choose and be fine." and that choice isn't really afforded to them, it's always these hard choices with one option that's like "at least you don't die", or live in fear, or whatever. The option to choose and be fine.

Themes. So many themes, I love this bloody podcast.

HELEN Hungry, are we? ARCHIVIST (Angrily) That’s not – – I haven’t done anything – HELEN – yet. ARCHIVIST (Roughly) I feel like if I don’t… I might die. Fade away into nothing. HELEN … Do you… Know that? ARCHIVIST No. But I… (frustrated noise) I can’t die. They need me. HELEN Come on, Jon, no excuses. (The Archivist sighs.) HELEN (Cont.) They don’t need your protection.

I DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY, JUST PODDED CAST!!

ARCHIVIST When does it stop? HELEN (Impatient) What? ARCHIVIST The guilt. The misery. All the others I’ve met, they’ve been – cold, cruel. They’ve enjoyed what they do. When does the Eye (inhale) make me monstrous? (Helen laughs.) HELEN What – why would it ever do that? ARCHIVIST I don’t… HELEN When has your guilt, or your sadness, or your handwringing ever actually stopped you from doing what it wants? ARCHIVIST (Stammering) I-I – I have not been taking statements – HELEN You’ve sworn of other people’s trauma for now because you’re caught. Because continuing would endanger you. But other than that, when has your discomfort ever actually stopped you walking the path of the Beholding? ARCHIVIST I… I don’t know… HELEN Even if it were capable of doing so, what possible reason would the Eye have to change how you feel, when it makes no difference to your actions? Helen was like you, at first. She felt such guilt over taking people. Until one day she realized she wasn’t going to stop doing it. So she chose to stop feeling guilty.

OK FIRST OF ALL SOMETHING I CAN DEAL WITH, SIMILARITIES AND DIFFERENCES BETWEEN JON AND HELEN! Helen went to Jon for help with the guilt, and Jon turned her away because he was scared of what he was becoming. Jon asks Helen when the Eye makes him monstrous and she says no, it's not the Eye that'll do that, it's you. You have to decide to stop feelings guilty about the monstrous things you're doing.

Secondly, *gestures* yeah fr fr! I don't even... I just need to listen to this over and over and have it burned into my mind please :3.

Yeah, well, wow! Yeah! For real for real, this is just like 111, I'm discovering a new love for this statement, I need to make a new "holy shit tma" playlist because. Wow. Wow! Mhm hm! WOw!!! Uhh, well, uhm.

Your most humble servant,

landscaping-your-mind

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bahamutgames · 6 months

Text

Afterthoughts Story : Cyber Sleuth

Game: Digimon Story : Cyber Sleuth (March 12, 2015)

Console: Nintendo Switch

Alright, let's do this. So, my last RPG that I played through before taking a break so I wouldn't have anything overlapping with the most important game ever coming out this Friday Is Digimon Cyber Sleuth, obviously. I got this game for Christmas a few years back now but didn't end up playing it until this year, and finally beat it right at the end of October. So here I am, telling you about my wonderful digiexperience!

Like always, not a review, just my thoughts. Please don't take my word as gospel, just my impressions while playing. Play anything I talk about you that interests you.

SPOILERS FOR DIGIMON CYBER SLEUTH AHEAD, PROCEED WITH CAUTION! THERE'S NO SPOILERS FOR HACKER'S MEMORY THOUGH!

Opening

So, honestly, as much as I enjoy Digimon from afar. I've never been a hard core Digimon guy. I've seen a bit of Adventures, I always liked the designs, and I follow that Digimon a day twitter that has shown me a lot of AMAZING creatures from it. But truth be told, I just never really got into the series. However I saw how popular this game seemed to be, and knew it was a turnbased RPG, so I figured it'd be a great jumping in point for me. And honestly, I was right! I had a fantastic time with this game!

Stuff I liked

I was very pleasantly surprised by this game. I really wasn't sure what to expect since Digimon is a little out of my wheelhouse, but honestly I think this was a really solid RPG with a lot of high points. I think the graphics are nice, it's not the most mind blowing thing visually outside of EDEN but when you go into digital worlds I think the game looks SUPER cool and felt like playing Summer Wars. Which makes sense, but still lol. The soundtrack is also REALLY good, much to no one's surprise, I particularly enjoyed the battle themes. The boss theme and the Eater themes were my favorites, but I also enjoyed the song that plays in the Digital Shift dungeons and the Digital World.

The gameplay was very good too and honestly really surprising to me. I know they're wildly different series, but I HAVE been playing through the Pokemon games lately, so I couldn't help but draw comparisons between the two. And while this is a monster collection game, they play NOTHING alike. In fact, Cyber Sleuth plays a LOT more like a traditional JRPG. And personally, I really like that. Things are a little linear which is fine for my lizard brain. But particularly I think the combat helps this game feel a lot faster than Pokemon can at times. Since every battle has you with 3 monsters that you can swap out during combat, and fully deck out with multiple pieces of equipment, and even completely change their movelist to your liking whenever you want. I think it works very well and while it is SIMILAR to Pokemon, and it might be more my style, I think it's good that they're so different, I don't know if I'd want Pokemon to straight up rip this off even if I think there is some convenience and maybe even some polish it could borrow from this?

In regards to that polish, I do love that every Digimon is like a full fledged party member in a more traditional RPG sense. But something I was REALLY shocked by was the amount of animations each Digimon has. They all have a standard attack, signature attack, buff, damage, death, and victory animation totally unique to themselves! From what I noticed, they're not even copied between evolutions. AND your current party follows you on the map, it's really cool! I also enjoy that digimon you aren't using can be put on the farm to gather items and sidequests, or even be fed to your other Digimon for EXP. It's small but it's a neat addition.

And as long as I'm on the subject of the monsters themselves, if you've seen my thoughts on the Pokemon games you know a HUGE aspect of those games for me is the Pokedex of the region. The monsters really make or break the monster collection game for me, of course. They're the main reason I'm playing it! And while it might be unfair to give it praise for this, since it's had years of monsters to pull from. As an outsider of the series, Cyber Sleuth MORE than delivers on its monster catalogue! There are SO many monsters to meet and recruit through the game, and so many of them were brand new to me! Obviously I had the classics I know like Agumon (one of my personal faves cause, dinosaur) but there were SO many new Digimon I had never heard of before that I fell in love with. Stuff like Pumpkinmon, Geckomon, Lekismon, Zubamon (who I just learned can turn into a sword!? SO BAD ASS!!), and my new personal favorite: Groundramon! It seemed like there was ALWAYS something new to find even when I digivolving the same creature over and over, I was always finding new creatures and still didn't get most of the catalogue filled.

Outside of that stuff, I enjoyed the story a lot. There were a lot of turns and twists that kept it interesting, and I always really enjoy plots about the relationship between the real world and cool MMOs. I think the Eden Syndrome stuff is probably a little tried but it worked! I thought the Eaters were mysterious and freaky. I liked how the plot was framed around solving cases as a detective, it was a very unique format for an RPG. I liked a lot of the characters, they were all very fun. Nokia and Yuuko were funny, I liked Arata, and Kyoko was SO hot! The game is also hilarious! It sometimes gives the energy of like "we weren't given a proper script to translate so we went a little nuts" but honestly I think it worked. The game is serious when it needs to be but is still super funny when it can be and is generally very unhinged at times in a good way. Overall it was a very fun and funny experience!

Also, the ending where you're rebuilt from the memories of your Digimon team was SO cute, I loved that, what a cute little detail as a final goodbye from your party.

Stuff I didn't like

However, as you can probably tell from the translation thing, this game is a little rough around the edges. I'd say overall the quality is very high, but there's a couple things here and there that make it feel not 100% there, if that makes sense?

So, a small one that didn't come up a lot but came up more than you'd expect was text formatting issues. This makes sense because Japanese text can probably fit a whole novel into the textboxes, while English text can be a lot longer. But sometimes text would go off screen, or there would be times where I could select lines in a dialogue box that was CLEARLY not a dialogue choice? Or sometimes I felt like they'd attribute the lines to the wrong characters. It never massively got in the way, and most of the time it's not an issue. But it's still odd and something I've never seen before.

Then there's the character designs. I like the protagonist's design. I like Kyoko and Yuuko too. And obviously the Digimon rule. But like Arata and the detective and Date all kinda look basic? Like I maybe couldn't pick them out of a crowd? And it weirded me out the WHOLE time that Nokia looked almost identical to me. Was us being separated at birth removed from our memories too? I felt similarly about Jimiken, who really didn't look as cool or noticeable (despite looking like Jimiken) to be a reoccurring threat through so much of the early game. Overall I don't think any character designs are bad, just some of them are underwhelming among the humans.

The only real issues I have with the Digimon are that there's too many Vaccine types. I ended up having tons that turned into Vaccines in the end and basically had no null types. It was very odd. And also, I do kinda wish you could digivolve for the stats without having to change the Digimon's designs. Some of them have great designs but their digivolutions kinda... suck. Like Geckomon's evo looks really stupid imo, so I had to turn him into Whamon. Who changed from Virus to Vaccine. Stuff like that genuinely got under my skin sometimes. I don't like Zabueagermon. That name is stupid. I like Zabumon. Give him back to me!

However, my biggest problem with this game. Is that it can kinda drag sometimes. In a few ways. Some smaller ways are like, when you need a new mission. Instead of just giving it to you, sometimes they make you leave the office, get a call, then IMMEDIATELY walk back inside the office. Or worse, you have to walk all the way somewhere to get a job, then go back to the office to accept, THEN GO BACK to where you got the job and continue. Or sometimes characters will just kinda talk on and on and on forever until I'm totally lost from the conversation. I know it's kind of the joke with Kyoko, but it happens a lot and especially towards the end of the game. Genuinely took me out of some story moments where I couldn't keep up with what long-winded comparison she was going on about.

And that ties into my final thought on this, that the game kinda starts to drag in general towards the end. Like, it feels like nothing is happening for a large portion of the game, then the portal opens and things get exciting. And then things just kinda stop and start dragging again. Even story relevant stuff just didn't feel exciting or sometimes out of place. The worst example being when you travel to an alternative reality to get a character who died off screen to come help you because he's still alive in this world. Was that world a reference to a Digimon series I should've been aware of? This new character who joins you from this reality just shows up out of NOWHERE and realistically this whole situation is kinda meaningless? Like this didn't need to happen, it just does for some reason and then kinda never gets addressed again. WE WENT TO AN ALTERNATE REALITY? Idk it just feels very odd. And then some late game dungeons just kinda go on or are kinda repeats of earlier dungeons with tedious copy/paste puzzles. And then you finally get to the end and you have to fight the same security system over and over until you FINALLY get to the final boss. Again it's not the end of the world, but after a bit I really like feel like the game was just overstaying its welcome a little.

Final Thoughts

Honestly though? Overall I think this game was FANTASTIC and a really good introduction to Digimon for me! I didn't even fully go into some other systems and concepts I enjoyed like crossover attacks, how you recruit digimon by scanning them, the theming of dungeons using firewalls and you actually having to hack stuff using computer functions. It's cute!

Color me intrigued, I'm certainly interested in Digimon now. I know there's a remarkable amount of RPGs and Fighting games in the series, so I'll probably check out some of those. I might watch some of the anime. I'm a little card game crazy and Groundramon has a few cards in the TCG! I'm even working on my first Digifake and joined a Digimon Discord with some of my friends. There's a whole new digital world for me to jump into!

===

Thanks for reading! I totally understand why Digimon is so beloved by people, and it was genuinely really fun to finally dive into something from it full on. SO MANY COOL REPTILES IN THIS SERIES! You can see my full team right here (x)!

As for Hacker's Memory. I'm not gonna play that right now. It's longer than the base game. That's not DLC, that's a sequel!! Which is a great deal for sure! But, sheesh! I'll be sure to play it later!

I also want to give a shoutout to Helryu on Deviantart! Usually for the game cover banners at the top of posts I'll take banners from online stores, twitch, or news sites. Stuff that's probably game assets already. But they actually didn't have one for JUST cyber sleuth, they all came with Hacker's memory. So I was very happy to see Helryu did the dirty work for me. Thank you! They make lots of twitch game banners so go check them out if you need any.

That's all from me! Go out and play a game from a big franchise you've wanted to check out!

#2023 #thoughts

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sunburnacoustic · 11 months

Text

Matt Bellamy answers fan questions for the Australian Triple J magazine in 2007.

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Mighty Pomgolian rockers Muse have some of muse’s most hardcore fans, so we let them call the shots. Frankly, we were afraid not to.

WORDS: Samantha Clode

“Salt Lake City tends to be one of those places where people go berserk,” says Matt Bellamy. “Maybe it’s all the salt plains surrounding them…” jmag finds the prodigious 29-year-old Muse frontman in the US, where he’s just finished up a stint with the tour physio. “I’ve got mild tennis elbow, I was playing squash and I think I stretched my arm or something,” he says. “But it’s nothing serious, I’m just sitting here with an ice pack on my elbow. Not too many Pete Townshend guitar swings tonight, I don’t think.”

With a second tour in 12 months heading our way in November, the trio from Devon are bringing their huge, prog rock stage spectacular down under following a stint on the 2007 Big Day Out. Rather than us throw a bunch of questions on Muse’s frontman, we asked you guys to tell us what you wanted to know…

Muse have some obsessive, dedicated fans. Where do you think the line is between being in the spotlight and having your privacy invaded? Bronwyn, 17, Bungendore, ACT

Everyone should be entitled to be at home, relaxing away from it all and not have people knocking on their door. I get a bit, yeah, and that's the place to draw the line. When we're out on the road we try to meet people and generally be friendly, but I'm glad that we're not super famous people where we're chased when we're going to the supermarket. I expect to be able to go there without having any hassles like that. I don't want to be caught buying toilet paper!

Have you seen Museslash? (Fan stories about the band, usually involving sex.) Becky, 15, Woodford, Vic

Museslash? No, I definitely want to check it out though, it sounds good, entertaining. I haven't heard of it until now, but I'll definitely be checking it out now, that sounds very interesting (laughs).

Who's your fave pianist of all time? Lachlan, 16, Ashfield, NSW

Firstly [Russian composer Sergei] Rachmaninoff. It's a close call between Franz Liszt [Hungarian romantic], Rachmaninoff and [Polish prodigy Frederic] Chopin. Some people argue that Liszt is up there, but Rachmaninoff has some kind of weird, dark edge to his music, which I don't think I've heard with any other kind of music before. So for that reason I give it to him - he's got a dark heard.

Do you think your friendship has helped you three guys deal with your success? Rachelle, 23, Brookvale, NSW

I wouldn't say success has been a problem, but I'd certainly say that issues come up with being away from home for eight months at a time. Especially Chris, who has kids and a family. But having a really close friendship helps us through tough times. I wouldn't define success as being a touch problem; I've enjoyed it very much. It's more the touring side.

So, any fisticuffs?

(Laughs) Yeah, well... I'm glad I don't try it because Chris would probably take my head off with one hit. We've had a few chairs thrown around and a lot of drum kits being smashed, I think me and Chris both attacked Dom and his drum kit a few times... but with friendly intentions!

If you're in Australia and you've only got $20, how are you going to spend it? Luke, 16, Devonport, Tas

You should be able to answer that question better than me, what do you recommend I do? Can you get, like, a bus journey to the outback for that much money? I'll pretend to be on the dole and get a rail ticket to the outback and go and live in the wild for a couple of years.

What was your first trip to Australia like? Marina, 25, Brunswick, Vic

It was brilliant. We loved all the sunshine, it blew us away. We're used to the grey, miserable depression of England, so being there was a breath of fresh air really. I remember getting freaked out by all these massive bats that were flying around our hotel. We were staying on the top floor in Sydney, and we were hanging out on the roof having a gathering with a couple of bottles of wine, and we noticed we were surrounded by massive bats. That's the first time I'd ever seen bats in my life - we all shat ourselves and ran away.

Is there any specific place you would want to be at the end of the world? Orri, 18. Reykjavik, Iceland

On a yacht, actually. It would be nice to be on the sea, away from all the chaos, just chilling out an relaxing. Depends... if the end of the world was a massive tsunami, then you definitely wouldn't want to be out on a boat, but if it was carnage and chaos and everyone was going mental, then I think it might be nice just to chill out on a boat. Go round the Maldives or Indonesia, cruise around, swim in the sea and pretend everything's find. You could probably live off fish for a while. Get one of those little water purification systems so you could just chill out and get away from it all...

You've said seeing an image of Hendrix setting his guitar on fire opened your mind to what music could be. What was it about that scene that turned you on? Anthony, 22, Bundamba, Qld

I suppose it was the chaos and the edge, the new idea that you can do whatever you want in your life and in your music. When I was that age, being in a rock band seemed like it was going to give me that opportunity, to be loose and pretty much do whatever I wanted, both on stage in music and in my life. I always loved music, but it wasn't until I saw that that I realised it could actually change your whole lifestyle.

I heard a rumour about the recording of 'Plug In Baby' [from 2001's Origin Of Symmetry]. involving mushrooms, nudity and a sauna. What's the story? Tim, 20, Riverview, NSW

(Laughs) Uh, yeah. It was in between recording takes. In England every now and again, certainly when it rains, loads of mushrooms grow. You take them to open your mind up to a broader dimension - you get to see the world from a different perspective. I'm sure you get them over there as well, but in England they grow in fields, you can find them anywhere. They often grow near cow shit, unfortunately. We found ourselves... not full naked, but definitely partially naked, in a bathtub rolling around. The mixture between that and doing the takes... I can't actually remember recording the songs to be honest, but I remember listening to it and saying, "Whoa, man, this is cool!" But a week later we listened to it and thought it was all a bit crap, so we had to spend a week fixing it up. But for writing and exploring new ideas, I'd recommend mushrooms. God put them there for us to use! It's nature's drug, you shouldn't make nature illegal.

Is it true Muse once supported the Spice Girls? What was that like? Lucy, 27, Blackburn, Vic

I've no idea where this came from! I think someone stuck it on the internet for a joke and everyone believed it; it's completely false. I've never played with them or met them. I wish I did - I would've loved to have supported them... ideally on the same bus as well.

How does it feel to be the biggest little man in music? Andrew, 21, Koolewong, NSW

(Laughs) It's quite good. With the guitar on stage you get to feel quite: "Hey man, I'm not too bad after all! I'm 5'7 but I can play some good riffs so it's all right. Everything's okay." (Can't stop laughing.)

Are you easy to work with? Jesse, 18, Gympie, Qld

(Ponders) Um... no, probably not, I'd say. I'm easy to work with people who know me, but with strangers I'm quite difficult. Just because there are ways I'm used to doing things: it's probably the disadvantage of being in a band for so long, you become very connected together and have certain ways of working. I've noticed that when you bring other people into the equation they can misinterpret the way you are as being very aggressive or very forward. But when you're working with your own bandmates you're used to dealing that way.

Do you crack the whip, then?

We all crack whips with each other, depending what it is. They all crack whips with me when I'm playing the piano too much! I generally crack the whip at them when they're playing cheap drum riffs. Between the three, somewhere we find a balance.

Is the Paul McCartney song 'Mr Bellamy' written about you? (It depicts a delusional 'Mr Bellamy' sitting on a roof and refusing to come down.) Marty, 26, Hawthorn, Vic

I don't think so! I'll check it out. I seriously doubt it's about me but... I'd be very surprised if it was, that would be a funny situation.

Is it true you're thinking of working with an orchestra next? Amelia, 22, North Perth, WA

If Dom and Chris let me! No, I definitely wanted to do the whole "we've blown it and become a total pop band" and I'm sure we'll do some more bits that are a bit more groovy and more dance. More up-tempo. There's definitely a few bits and pieces lying around that have been unfinished for so long that I just think we should lay them down. We certainly wouldn't do a whole album but definitely a couple of pieces that we might be able to release outside of an album might be interesting.

How did your father's band (the Tornadoes) influence you as a musician? Jervis, 18, Mornington, Vic

Dad introduced me to music when I was very young, and played me a lot of '50s and '60s records that I probably would never have heard of if it wasn't for him. I definitely got that more sci-fi... well, not sci-fi, but I guess what people like to call the more "spacey" sound from his band. The band he was in before the Tornadoes did this song called 'Telstar' - that song was the most well known. [The instrumental, named after a satellite, was the first British song to hit No.1 in the US.] For the '50s it did sound very futuristic, and very kind of spacey, so that element of the band definitely came from him.

Is it true you live in the house of former opera composer Vincenzo Bellini and you're trying to conjure up his ghost? Amanda, 23, Ferny Grove, Qld

I don't actually live there. The band were building a place where we could rehearse and live while we were rehearsing, and it's in the grounds of an Italian opera composer's house. I tried to get some of his vibes going because I listened to some of his music and I think it's brilliant stuff. It definitely feels like it's got some kind of musical ghost hanging around. If I was ever going to get a house and it was haunted, I'd want it to be haunted by a great composer, that's kind of ideal for me (laughs).

Do Muse fall into roles in the studio? Chris, 17, Glenelg, SA

Dom tends to take the role of the pedantic devil for the detail; he goes mental for absolutely every little detail. Chris is more the person who moderates the vibe and says, "Look, this isn't happening, take a break and wait for a day, wait for a few hours until it's going to happen." Dom would play the same song 20 times a day and get it wrong 20 times, whereas Chris would say, "Let's just take a break and come back." Dom would be all, "No, let's keep playing." I pretend to be behind the desk. I'm always drawn to being with the producer. I should be on the other side of the glass singing and playing, but I'm always behind the desk trying to control things - I always end up getting told to fuck off and get back in where I belong!

So are you into recording other artists?

Yeah, definitely. It's frustrating when we're making our own records, because I want to be involved in the production myself but I can't do it when I'm actually playing, you know? It's something I'd like to do when I'm older, too old to tour or something. So maybe in about 10 years when I'm slowing down a bit and I've got tennis elbow - tennis everything! - I'll start producing records instead.

What's one of your most memorable moments visiting Australia? Dom, 22, Preston, Vic

There's been loads. The Big Day Out is always loads of fun, I got to hang out with a lot of great bands there. This year was good: it's a bit of a blur, but I remember trashing someone's house. We had an amazing party in this really expensive flat in Melbourne. Some crazy guy decided he would let a few bands part there. By the end of it I remember seeing Mike [Skinner] from the Streets holding a couch in the air - he was surfing the couch while taking paint off the wall! I feel sorry for the guy whose house it was, but he certainly should have known what was going to happen when he invited us!

If there's a colour for sex, what would it be? Caitlyn, 15, Chirnside Park, Vic

(Pause) Well it's got to be red hasn't it, surely? Blue's a bit too boring.

It's pretty obvious from Black Holes And Revelations you're disillusioned by the current political climate. Does public apathy get you down? Or do you hold out hope for a revolution? Tegan, 17, Banara Point, NSW

I'd say I'm generally optimistic about people, but I'm pessimistic about society, and the way it's all been put together. But generally I'm very optimistic that people will pull through and come out shining at the other side. I think w're likely to see some heavy shit over the next 50 or 100 years, but if you look forward 100 years there's going to be a group of people having a laugh somewhere.

A couple of big bands have joined together lately - Audioslave, Velvet Revolver. If you had to start another band who would you have in it? Josh, 22, Waverton, NSW

Speaking of Audioslave, Tom Morello would certainly be the guitarist; Flea from Chili Peppers on the bass. Drums... who's brilliant? Maybe Jimmy Chamberlain, the guy who played for the Pumpkins. Singing would have to be Tom Waits, I'd say. I think that would be an interesting grouping.

Everyone is impressed by the XY synth pad on your guitar in 'Invincible' Do you do all the work on your guitars yourself? Dan, 19. Armidale, NSW

I've just always fancied something and gone, "I can't believe no one thought of that before." I had this effects unit I was using, the XY controller, and I thought, well, why don't I just stick it in the guitar? Luckily I've got a friend who makes guitars, so I said, "Can you stick this in the guitar for me?" and he worked on it for a while. It took us a couple of goes to get it right but it was quite decent. So it's just a case of imagining something and having a mate who can built it. So a lot is custom made, not personally by me but invented by me, if you like.

How difficult is it to use a jetpack? Kieran, 20, Waurn Ponds, Vic

(Laughs) I wouldn't know, because I've never used a jetpack. I think I saw one once, didn't Michael Jackson use one to get on stage? I've got something that's a bit like that, but it's not actually a get engine. It's a 50cc engine with a propeller attached. You just take a sort of parachute to jump off a hill, and you use the engine to push you higher and higher, It's not really a jet, though - "jet" makes it sound a bit more exciting!

Will you be using this device on stage?

The problem is it's very weather dependent, so it could go terribly wrong. It's 50/50 that I could hit the stage - there's a chance I could accidentally go in to the crowd and the propeller would probably mince up about 100 people! So maybe I'll save save that for when we're playing a super massive outdoor venue. "Everyone stand back!"

Lastly, jmag wants to know what's the question you'd most like to be asked?

You're going to ask me that now, aren't you? I'm trying to imaging someone coming in to an interview and just saying, "Ah, fuck it - do you fancy a pint?" If you ever meet me, instead of doing the interview just say that and we'll go down the pub, have a drink and have a much more relaxed time.

Well, next time, that's what we'll do.

Sounds good to me.

———///——///———

Track Record : Muse Formed: Back in the early ’90s, three students at Teignmouth Community College in Devon, UK, were in separate bands before forming Muse in 1997. Original name? Rocket Baby Dolls Members: Matthew Bellamy (guitar/keys/vocals), Chris Wolstenholme (bass) and Dominic Howard (drums) Albums: Four to date: Showbiz (1999), Origin Of Symmetry (2001), Absolution (2003) and Black Holes And Revelations (2006) Random facts: Gold Coast act the Sick Puppies covered ‘Stockholm Syndrome’

Justin Timberlake described Muse as “the best band there was” at the 2006 MTV European Music Video Awards

2004’s Glastonbury’s set would be described by Bellamy as “the best gig of our lives”. Sadly Dominic’s father, Bill, suffered a heart attack immediately after, and died

Muse’s ‘Space Dementia’ is the soundtrack to the latest perfume ad by cosmetics giant Christian Dior

#unleashing this on the world at last. Happy birthday you silly guy.#I haven't transcribed the more uh. Saucy stuff via fans on the forums that's in the scans but I can if you’d like me to #Just thought this post was getting a bit long lol #muse band #matt bellamy #MATT!!#matt from muse #muse #muse interviews #Muse quotes #madlad lol #2007 #Triple J magazine #Mag scans #Black Holes era #long post

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