#i'm so bad at writing exposition | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

motownfiction · 1 year

Text

grandparent

When she had Elenore shortly after an AP English test in eleventh grade, Lucy knew there was a chance that one day, she’d also be a young grandparent. Before it happened, she was ready for it. Elenore started going steady with Sean in the summer between tenth and eleventh grade, and despite all Lucy and Will’s efforts to make sure she knew how to be safe, she also knew accidents could happen. Look at herself. But high school went by, and all Elenore got was a diploma. Lucy figured she could make it through college without a diaper bill, too.

And then, ten years ago, it happened. Elenore sat her parents down at the dinner table and told them she was pregnant. That they were going to be grandparents. Lucy doesn’t quite remember how she reacted that night, but she knows it can’t have been too good. She remembers quite a few tears and the word hypocrite. By the next morning, they patched things up, but Lucy’s haunted by her initial fear … her initial rage.

In her defense, she isn’t really upset about being a thirty-nine-year-old grandmother. She always knew that could happen. When Elenore first said she was pregnant, Lucy was even a little bit glad. But when she told them it was Charlie’s baby – her old friend Charlie, the one who was already in the ninth grade on the day Elenore was born – she couldn’t keep it together anymore. It was embarrassing. Lucy Callaghan, the woman who always has it together, unraveled at the seams over steamed dumplings and chicken fried rice. She can only cut herself so much slack.

Lucy spent the next few months worried about what kind of grandparent she would be. When she was a little girl, she didn’t really know her grandparents. Her father’s parents kept their distance on account of not liking her mother very much. Her mother’s parents divorced the year before Lucy and her parents moved to Detroit and each married new people very shortly thereafter. Her grandfather married the English department secretary and moved to San Diego; her grandmother married a man in finance who took her all around the world and never slowed down. Lucy never talked about it then, but she wished very desperately for a normal grandparent. One that would make her chocolate chip cookies and knit her pretty sweaters in her top three favorite colors. One that would give her kisses when she fell down and skinned her knee (which she, the queen of trying to read and walk at the same time, often did). One that was around. She remembered the stories her mother would tell about her own grandparents – terrific people with big hearts and a home like a revolving door. Even the weekdays were like a party in their house. Sometimes, when she was little, Lucy used to lie awake at night and wish she could have been there. Her house in the Motown suburbs wasn’t very big, but some nights, it felt like a cavern.

On the night Elenore went into labor, she sat with her head in her hands and vowed that if Elenore’s hemorrhaging stopped, she’d be that kind of grandparent for the baby she just had. The baby girl. Veronica. That’s the name the nurses mumble as they rush her into the nursery – the one Elenore said she’d keep a secret until the moment the baby was born.

Veronica.

Elenore made it through. She lay there paler than the pillow behind her head, but she made it through. And when Lucy took Veronica in her arms for the first time, she made that vow again. She’d never be like her own grandparents. She’d be like the grandparents she envied.

Today, Veronica is almost ten years old. The world is swiftly going to hell, but Veronica makes all the bad things easy to forget. She has smiling green eyes and a mellifluous laugh. And Lucy wants to go with her everywhere. To school. To the movies. To Shake Shack. Veronica giggles through it (“Grandma, why do you like me so much?”), but she’ll never know just how much Lucy needs it. How much it would kill her for sweet Veronica to be the kind of little girl who lies awake at night, wishing for a normal grandparent. How much it means to her to make this little one smile.

It doesn’t matter if Lucy’s not yet fifty years old, and it doesn’t matter if Veronica is Charlie’s kid. When she smiles, so does Lucy. When she smiles, Lucy knows what it means to be a grandparent.

(part of @nosebleedclub january challenge -- day vii! love being just a few minutes behind here ...)

#drabble #writeblr #ch: lucy callaghan #ch: veronica o'connor #year: 1984 #year: 2005 #year: 2006 #year: 2017 #i hate that i'm writing so much exposition-y stuff for lucy always #like why do i have to be bad lol

14 notes · View notes

chaoswillcalmusdown · 1 year

Text

i haven't been able to let go of glass onion (in a bad way) bc there's just something so frustrating about it and earlier today, i was trying to explain it to my brother and i said something about it feeling like "baby(aka rian) just saw get out and wants to write an equally clever script but for some reason it's also a murder mystery" and like. i think i got there. i think my main problem is how heavy handed everything is. but it's acting like it's so subtle and cool and smarT. saying "millionaire is bad bc he's dumb, actually!" is so lazy. saying "haha influencer thinks sweatshops make sWEATpants" is lazy. whatever the fuck he was saying about duke, the "haha alt-right man lives in mama's basement and is bullied by her hahaha" is lazy ?!?!?!?

get out(as my example of an actual clever movie) was smart because when you watch a second time you're like "oh shit that's why he said he couldn't bare to let them go after his parents died. he MEANT HIS PARENTS ANd NOT THE HELP" but in glass onion, a second viewing would just be you sitting there like "that's not actually andi, that's helen." that's not clever ?!?!?!?!?

#i'm convinced i would have enjoyed glass onion if they had shown us that andi was dead from the start #and cut between helen & blanc and the dickheads throughout #like. the “terminally online in 2020” references would have still annoyed me a lOT #but i would have watched it and been like 'sure whatever'#instead of 3 days of 'why the fuck did he exposition the entire fucking plot at me after i wasted an hour' 😠#i hate when a writer of a movie makes the audience feel stupid for watching their movie and buying what they showed us #it's not CLEVER that this woman was actually her secret sister all along!#that's lazy writing #i get so riled up abt this bc you know how much hype this is all buying rian sdfghfdsfg johnson?#every time this white mediocrity gets swallowed up by people en masse #i feel so sad for the good stories we won't get to see from miniorities #like. one rich white straight man writes some 'quirky leftist oneliners' and it's like we're back in the height of the mcu fandom #but now everyone thinks it's progressive bc it's making fun of unwoke people or 'elon musk'#i also hate how much rian's writing makes it seem like all these horrific rich people are bad bc they're dumb #i'm gonna go watch get out a 50th time and maybe some day glass onion will not be on my dash and then #i won't have to have a stroke abt it #i feel like janis ian with you people #the 'did you hang with AWESOME people and drink AWEOMSE shoooters?????' but it's about glass onion #i don't care if people enjoy it #i care that people genuinely think it's smart or good #i love bad movies #i love practically every early 2000s romcom #maid in manhattan is not a masterpiece just bc i love and enjoy it #i'm gonna go watch maid in manhattan and cry sdfvvds

6 notes · View notes

tvrningout-archived · 2 years

Text

@sociieties | from here

it’s just another day -- except not exactly because yubari’s duties as a kakushi land him at his river for the first time since he joined the corps. it’s nice, feels like coming home even if his house is still miles away, and the anxiety that has rested in the pit of his stomach for the past year finally dissipates. the spirits he speaks to all tell him the same thing: the river is fine just as they’ve reported to him all this time. nothing is falling apart in his absence and no illness is ravaging any villages, though yu and mizu are terribly missed, as always. but all is well. he needn’t worry.

he will anyway as is his nature, but his heart feels a little lighter nonetheless.

so yubari continues on his way, remaining close to the waters as long as he can, even though firewood is easier to find deeper in the forest. they’ll have to move on soon enough, and once again, yubari will be far, far from home; just a little longer, he wants to bask in the feeling of being home.

he feels the stranger before he ever sees him, aware that someone different wades through the river’s shallows. it doesn’t alarm yu because at the very least, he can tell this new presence isn’t that of a demon, and that’s all he really cares about. but when their eyes meet and the other goes still, the dragon can’t help but furrow his brow.

he utters yubari’s name -- or tries to. it seems to catch in the stranger’s throat, like he’s too choked up to get the whole name out. it’s odd to hear his full name come from someone who isn’t mizu ( he never tells humans his full name because how weird is it to be named after a river? very, apparently ), but even odder is the heartache in this stranger’s eyes, the shock, the recognition. it’s like he knows yu, but... he doesn’t, does he? he can’t because yu hasn’t ever seen him before.

which is why weirdest of all is his own urge to cry and the pain in his chest and--- and it’s a little bittersweet, as though there’s a reason to be happy despite their sorrow ( their sorrow -- how can yubari share sorrow with someone he doesn’t know? ).

“ why are you looking at me like that? ” he asks, bewildered and clutching the pile of wood almost too tightly for it to bear.

all his question does is cause the stranger to crumble. quite literally, which should startle yu. it kind of does, but not as much as it should even as it registers that that this person isn’t human; he’s something otherworldly, different even from yu. but he isn’t alarmed by that realization as much as he is by the tears falling down this stranger’s cheeks.

none of this makes sense in the slightest, none of his feelings make sense, so yubari shouldn’t be surprised when he can no longer ignore the ache in his chest. the dragon drops the firewood, closes the distance between them to kneel beside this person who is unfamiliar yet familiar simultaneously, and---

yubari reaches out, slowly, tentatively, and places a warm hand over the stranger’s ( his skin is cool to the touch, and the dragon blames the tingling on the contrast in temperature ). his gaze, blue as the water lazily flowing beside them, studies the other’s shifting appearance, how the colors shift. his voice is gentle as he says, “ there isn’t any need to apologize. you’ve done nothing wrong. ”

he wants to ask how he knew his name, but yubari waits. though beautifully iridescent, he can’t bear to look at those tears for a moment longer.

#sociieties #listen if we take out the exposition then the amount i wrote isn't too bad asdfgh #but i'm AHHHHHH about this so can you blame me for writing a lot :' ))))))#also i'm still weeping over the fact that moon has to explain to yubari each time ' uh yeah so we're soulmates and in love but you died-- '#i'm in pain and so are they but we'll fix that! probably! hopefully!!!#interactions | yu #a reason to be strong | main | yu

1 note · View note

calcescarp · 2 years

Text

oh my god the three hopes demo is killing me

#the writing is so bare bones functional so far and Arval's english VA talks the comic relief character in bad broadway musical #Arval has The Musical 'Funny' character voice #Arval talks like fucking Jared from the broadway run of DEH (derogatory×10)#genuinely what the fuck is up with the writing tho #like it's a warriors game so i didn't expect much but all of the exposition is just dumped in front of our feet with no subtlety #like a cat bringing us a dead bird. but much less cute and endearing and mostly just gross and annoying #i know i'm being harsh but god damn #talking tag

0 notes

writingquestionsanswered · 14 days

Note

How can I write the banter between a character and his/her friends? (how can I put a joke into writing in the most natural way?)

^I'm sorry for my english, this is not my first language^

Writing Natural Banter

There are two main reasons why banter comes off feeling unnatural in a story:

1 - The Dialogue is Unnecessary - Good stories have a relative balance of dialogue, action, and exposition. However, just as action and exposition needs to have a purpose in the story, so does dialogue. In other words, a moment of dialogue between your characters needs to be there to move the plot forward, develop the setting or world building, deliver backstory, develop character, or deliver vital information.

If you find yourself starting a conversation between characters just for the sake of banter or dropping a particular joke, and not because it accomplishes something important, the dialogue will fall flat because it doesn't need to be there. Instead, save banter for dialogue moments that need to be there... moments when your characters are talking because they need to talk

2 - The Banter is Irrelevant - In real life, banter tends to be topical. In other words, it's relevant to something happening in that moment. So, when your characters are having (or are about to have) a necessary moment of dialogue, think about the things that are relevant to them in that moment. What topical things might they comment on as they head into this conversation or mid-conversation? For example, if the previous chapter involved a big action scene where the characters were being chased by the bad guys, they might have a conversation the next day in which they make future plans. So, as they go into this conversation, what topical things might they comment on? Perhaps someone makes a joke about something that happened during the chase, just to lighten the mood? Or, maybe someone makes a joke about the place where they're having the conversation? Maybe someone suggests that their next move should be to research where the bad guys have their lair, and that might be an opportunity for someone to make a quip about who among them is good or bad at research. Again, it's all about relating the banter to what's already being talked about rather than pulling it out of thin air.

Making sure the banter and jokes are relevant to what's going on and what's being said helps to make it feel natural.

Happy writing!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

♦ Questions that violate my ask policies will be deleted! ♦ Please see my master list of top posts before asking ♦ Learn more about WQA here

#wqaadvice

232 notes · View notes

dailyadventureprompts · 7 months

Text

Homebrew Mechanic: Meaningful Research

Being careful about when you deliver information to your party is one of the most difficult challenges a dungeonmaster may face, a balancing act that we constantly have to tweak as it affects the pacing of our campaigns.

That said, unlike a novel or movie or videogame where the writers can carefully mete out exposition at just the right time, we dungeonmasters have to deal with the fact that at any time (though usually not without prompting) our players are going to want answers about what's ACTUALLY going on, and they're going to take steps to find out.

To that end I'm going to offer up a few solutions to a problem I've seen pop up time and time again, where the heroes have gone to all the trouble to get themselves into a great repository of knowledge and end up rolling what seems like endless knowledge checks to find out what they probably already know. This has been largely inspired by my own experience but may have been influenced by watching what felt like several episodes worth of the critical role gang hitting the books and getting nothing in return.

I've got a whole write up on loredumps, and the best way to dripfeed information to the party, but this post is specifically for the point where a party has gained access to a supposed repository of lore and are then left twiddling their thumbs while the dm decides how much of the metaplot they're going to parcel out.

When the party gets to the library you need to ask yourself: Is the information there to be found?

No, I don't want them to know yet: Welcome them into the library and then save everyone some time by saying that after a few days of searching it’s become obvious the answers they seek aren’t here. Most vitally, you then either need to give them a new lead on where the information might be found, or present the development of another plot thread (new or old) so they can jump on something else without losing momentum.

No, I want them to have to work for it: your players have suddenly given you a free “insert plothook here” opportunity. Send them in whichever direction you like, so long as they have to overcome great challenge to get there. This is technically just kicking the can down the road, but you can use that time to have important plot/character beats happen.

Yes, but I don’t want to give away the whole picture just yet: The great thing about libraries is that they’re full of books, which are written by people, who are famously bad at keeping their facts straight. Today we live in a world of objective or at least peer reviewed information but the facts in any texts your party are going to stumble across are going to be distorted by bias. This gives you the chance to give them the awnsers they want mixed in with a bunch of red herrings and misdirections. ( See the section below for ideas)

Yes, they just need to dig for it: This is the option to pick if you're willing to give your party information upfront while at the same time making it SEEM like they're overcoming the odds . Consider having an encounter, or using my minigame system to represent their efforts at looking for needles in the lithographic haystack. Failure at this system results in one of the previous two options ( mixed information, or the need to go elsewhere), where as success gets them the info dump they so clearly crave.

The Art of obscuring knowledge AKA Plato’s allegory of the cave, but in reverse

One of the handiest tools in learning to deliver the right information at the right time is a sort of “slow release exposition” where you wrap a fragment lore the party vitally needs to know in a coating of irrelevant information, which forces them to conjecture on possibilities and draw their own conclusions. Once they have two or more pieces on the same subject they can begin to compare and contrast, forming an understanding that is merely the shadow of the truth but strong enough to operate off of.

As someone who majored in history let me share some of my favourite ways I’ve had to dig for information, in the hopes that you’ll be able to use it to function your players.

A highly personal record in the relevant information is interpreted through a personal lens to the point where they can only see the information in question

Important information cameos in the background of an unrelated historical account

The information can only be inferred from dry as hell accounts or census information. Cross reference with accounts of major historical events to get a better picture, but everything we need to know has been flattened into datapoints useful to the bureaucracy and needs to be re-extrapolated.

The original work was lost, and we only have this work alluding to it. Bonus points if the existent work is notably parodying the original, or is an attempt to discredit it.

Part of a larger chain of correspondence, referring to something the writers both experienced first hand and so had no reason to describe in detail.

The storage medium (scroll, tablet, arcane data crystal) is damaged in some way, leading to only bits of information being known.

Original witnesses Didn’t have the words to describe the thing or events in question and so used references from their own environment and culture. Alternatively, they had specific words but those have been bastardized by rough translations.

Tremendously based towards a historical figure/ideology/religion to the point that all facts in the piece are questionable. Bonus points if its part of a treatise on an observably untrue fact IE the flatness of earth

#homebrew mechanic #d&d mechanics #research #tableskills #tabletop inspiration #dm tip #dm advice #exposition

464 notes · View notes

queenendless · 8 months

Text

😂Ticklish Remedy(Student!SatoSuguxStudent!Fem!Reader)😂

A/N: Sorry this took me so long to get out! I gotta write more JJK tk fics in the future. This one I rushed, it's true.

Content: Angst, hurt/comfort, more exposition than tickles but obvious tickles, mention of reader gaining seer vision cursed technique powers for possible future plot development, Shoko Ieiri cameo, and SatoSugu poly loving.

Credit for characters and art used goes to Gege sensei.

* Please DON'T plagarize, translate, or repost my FANFIC content. Reblog, like, and follow instead.

I hope you enjoy.

Why were you in such a pathetic mood?

Waking up from a messed up dream in a cold sweat?

Coming back from a mission where more damage than saving was done?

Or a hard downpour out of nowhere soaked you and would be around for the remainder of the evening?

All of the above.

In this life, you are the quiet, sweet protective being. But it takes certain things to set you off. All of the above, for instance.

Another big one would be the only friends turned found family you ever had and known getting harmed in any way, whether from slander from those foolish higher ups or certain corrupted humans you were obligated to save and not harm for retribution despite getting injured on the job because of them. Those indeed pissed you off.

That wasn't the case this time.

Nah, you're just having one of those days.

You had just left the shower, clad in a dry tee shirt and short shorts, going stomach first flopping on your dorm room bed in a downtrodden sense, when a loud knock on your door made you moan in refusal, smothering your face in your pillow.

"L/n? Sweetie? Y/n-chaaaaaan~?!"

Satoru's loud rambles; his voice always making you smile, now sounded irritating to you. "Go away." Your muffled yell made a new voice join in.

"Y/n? Honey? Are you alright?"

Suguru's concerned voice made you feel bad at behaving this way towards them when it wasn't their fault at all. "Not really."

"Excuse us. We're coming in." Suguru's warning was followed by your dorm room door sliding opening as their heads popped up through behind the door, your weak wave giving them the prompt to just come in.

They were both still in uniform but also in socks and slippers, as Satoru flopped down, jostling the bed, before spooning you from behind and Suguru sliding your door closed before sitting on the edge of the bed in front of you and held your hand in his; rubbing comforting circles on your knuckles with his thumb when he asked.

"How bad?"

Your hesitant sigh didn't bode well. "I was sent alone to exorcize a second-grade curse spirit after it ended several regulars working at a cemetery."

"Yaga-sensei told us." Suguru's pitying gaze made you whine weakly. "We're sorry we couldn't go with you."

Flashes of your nightmare from early morning resurfaced; your pinched expression being a sign of your discomfort. "The same nightmare happened again. Just … bloodied corpses … of those I care for …that shadowed, stitched forehead bastard's smile ... and I'm unable to move or scream or do anything …" Your voice wavered as your form trembled with a deep-rooted frustration and pain on this particular dilemma.

You still had no freaking idea who or what it was; human or cursed spirit, let alone why you kept having these dreams. A warning? Perhaps. You were slowly climbing up the ranks in terms of developing your Innate technique; as odd as it was in getting impactful visions followed by side effecting migraines. And this was yet another unknown future threat standing in your way.

"Plus I got rained down hard coming back here. So there." You pouted, taking Suguru's hand in your own, just to splat it over your face, amusing the latter despite the gloomy vibe.

"That bad, huh? God, quite the depressing mood bundle you are!" Satoru sighed loudly.

You jammed your thumb over your shoulder into Satoru's cheek, dryly retorting. "Obnoxious creep." You thrusted your pointer finger of the same hand forward in Suguru's face. "Weird bangs guy."

"Now sweetie, I know you're just saying those things because you're down in the dumps… but it still wounds me!" Satoru mockingly cried out, ruffling your hair, further driving the point of getting stabbed in the feels.

"Honey, you're wrong. About my bangs, I mean. Satoru … nah that's right on the mark." Geto poked your nose, smirking like the smart ass he is, rubbing salt in the wound.

"Hey!" Gojo flared up, dagger eyes on his bestie at the betrayal.

You snorted at their interaction. Satoru's face stubbornly set in a pouting expression, when the sound you just made gave him quite the amusing idea as he kissed your forehead down from up above you. "So, what you need right now is some serious cheering up, 101."

A twisted smile suddenly wormed up on his face. It makes your gut squirm with nerves.

"Suguru~" The sing-song tone to his name snatched the younger man's attention. "It seems our lovely girlfriend is too grumpy for our liking~!"

The same twisted feeling inside you doubled as Suguru smiled at you in the same manner.

"Yes … we should remedy that right away."

Able to read each other's thoughts down pat; synced as the best friends they are, meant they were both on board for their evil agenda.

"Uh, chotto matte," Your Nihongo Jouzu reflexes came spilling out as nervous giggles did as well, fidgeting as your attempts to get up and pull away from Satoru's hold were futile for his arms tightened around your waist and pulled quick enough to flush your back against his front. "Not that. Anything but that!"

"Y/n-chan … if you plead more, I'll consider it." Suguru calmly mused as he climbed up on your bed, trapping your legs in between his knees, coyly smiling. "Maybe~"

A squeal sprung free from your lips as the spider-like fingers of Satoru squeezed your sides before wriggling into your ribs. "I'd rather she beg. After all, she wants this so much~!" Satoru smugly taunted, that fat ass smirk plastered on his face when you jabbed your elbow hard in his side.

"Liar liar pants on fire – AAH~!" Your retort was cut off by your own shriek as Satoru's fingertips slithered around to deeply drag across your belly.

"Oh ho, you're gonna get it now!" Satoru's deepened tone spoke doom for you. Suguru's snickers only added to it.

Your spastic, laughing form was kicking, flailing, and bouncing to both their inner amusement and glee; the bed squeaking and the headboard hitting the wall many times in the process.

"Cootchie cootchie coo~!" Satoru's fingers slid through your shirt sleeves to pinch and wring the bare skin of your armpits.

"Tohohohohoru you ahahahahahass~!" You slam your shoulders into his in another attempt to push him off, but that lean skinny bode hid such strength beneath.

"Hey! I have a fine ass, I'll have you know!" Gojo's pursed lips were made to good use as he began doing raspberries from the crook of your neck to the base of it to under your ear, speaking in between every tingling blow. "Very. Fine. Indeed!" His snowy hair added to the ticklish sensation as his puffy locks brushed your cheek.

"You twohoohoo beheheheheter stahahahap or I swehehehear I'll – EEK~!" You squeaked harder as Suguru exchanges wiggling squeezes between your shaking kneecaps and your thighs. "Suhuhuhuhugu qu – quihihihit it~!!"

Geto snorted. "Jackass is more like it."

"Your face up my ass the other day spoke otherwise, if you recall~" Satoru's buzzing wet lips pulled from your neck to give bedroom eyes to Suguru.

Who returns the look, just as gluttonous for another go. "The face you made proves you enjoyed it just as much~"

Their raunchy talk was halted as a pillow got whacked in Suguru's face, followed by said pillow being thrown to Satoru's, who barely caught it in one hand. But that enough commotion lets you slip free from his loosened grasp.

Though the truth was he let you go free for now, laughing slowly at the look of sheer disbelief on his raven haired lover's face at what you just pulled, the more bangs loosely gracing his forehead from the commotion.

"Ooh, you're in trouble~!" Gojo singing spoke of doom.

Your panting, pink cheeked self could only have a moment's reprieve as chills raked your skin at the dark edge tainting Suguru's almond eyes. Unlike the smile in your nightmares, bearing callousness and insanity, Suguru's bore a more eerily calm smiling face.

"Indeed … it's on."

He dodged the kick to his face by your freed foot, toothily smiling as he caught your ankle, viewed your squirming foot with scrutinizing intrigue, before dragging his finger up and down your sole lightly enough to have you become a cute chortling mess.

Your other foot moved to kick his arm to free yourself when Gojo snatched it straight away, clicking his tongue to scold you. "Naughty, naughty~"

The two looming devils you love jumped you!

Shoko Ieiri, twirling her non lite cigarette between her fingers, jumped at the ear-piercing scream striking the air of the dorm, high tailing to the source as curiosity beckoned her.

Discovering the loud slamming ruckus jumbled in as well, it all is coming from your room followed by your jumbled cackling wordplay in the mix had her sliding the door open, her cigarette nearly slipping from her grasp at the sight she just witnessed.

You were flipped to lay on your stomach, laughing your sweaty red face off, as both those bastards each straddled a thigh of yours, with a footsie for each to tickle savagely.

"And this is why I stopped questioning why this is your norm now." Shoko shrugged.

"She whacked us with her pillow!" Suguru gruffly complained as his fingers wringed through your toes.

"Hilarious move on her part but she did wound my pride." Satoru's mirthful grin then drooped as his pride did deflate. "So, retribution!" Killing your restraint as he nibbled on your padded piggies.

"SHOHOHOHOHOHOHOKO~!!! MAHAHAHAHAHAKE THEHEHEHEHEHEM STAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAP~!!!"

Your flailing calves nearly whacking them were immediately taken care of as their forearms wrapped around them to hold them in place, their hands squeezing your ankles in their ironclad grip. Suguru nibbled and dragged his teeth and tongue down your wrinkled sole while Satoru's lips and tongue suckled and wriggled between your toes.

"PLEHEHEHEHEHESE HAHAHAHAHAHAVE MEHEHEHEHEHERCY~!!!"

"Yeah, as the resident healer of our group, I see the telltale signs she's gonna pass out at this rate." Shoko nearly toppled over you as your hands needed some support to dig and squeeze your fingers in something to keep your unhinged self-grounded.

Suguru hummed in contemplation. "Hmmm … while seeing and hearing our love in this state does please me greatly, this overall was supposed to cheer her up."

"Your cheering up brand is quite savage indeed." Shoko's apathetic tone made them both stifle a groan; Satoru's vibrating through your foot made you squeal louder, as he finally popped his mouth off your saliva covered minies.

"Alright, alright! We will," Satoru gave a big wet smooch to your topside. "I'd say we're even now."

Suguru kissed your other topside in the same manner, before their arms released your calves, moving off your thighs so they could lay your legs fully down on your rustled sheeted bed.

You breathed in and out your relief as tranquility came at last; giggles from ghost tickles slipping in, releasing your hold on Shoko's arm to fold yours and use them as your personal resting pillow. "Ah … f … freedom … thank you." You were now more exhausted but less depressing. Pro? Perhaps. For now, anyway.

"Y/n." You leaned your head into Satoru's smooth warm hand as he brushed your hair strands sticking to your forehead aside, rubbing your forehead before brushing your hair back in gentle motions, as he flopped down on his stomach on your right side, resting his cheek on his free forearm, the vibrant Six Eyes looking at you over his lowered shades, straightforward truth teeming in them. "In this life, you can't save everyone."

You frowned at that, blunt and to the point, when Suguru also flopped down the same way on your left side, his giant firm hand rubbing massaging circles on your back, surging with tender care, bringing blessed sighs out of you, as his eyes met yours next, teemed with solace. "Nor will the fear of the unknown go away just like that."

"We can't promise that nothing will happen to all of us later on down the line, either." Satoru's distaste for it showed.

"But we can promise that when they do, come what may, we'll give it our all." Suguru's empathy shined through in his beautiful almond eyes.

"We have to in order to be the strongest duo, after all." Satoru chuckled as his cheek nuzzled yours.

"Eh? And me?" You pouted.

"Then trio." Suguru pecked your lips just to see that smile of yours blossom.

"Ahem!" Shoko fake coughed, sitting against the front of the bed on the floor, plopping her head back, lips puckered and batting eyes at you all in fake sadness.

"Okay, squad then! Point being! Whatever comes our way, we face it together, as best we can. We are there for each other. None of us should be alone. Right?" Satoru's sincere toothy smile sealed the deal.

You sighed deeply. "Fine … but any more savage tickling cheering up schemes in the future are off the table! I swear to God –!"

"Hai hai." The duo agreed in unison as they each pressed a deep noisy smooch to your cheeks.

"Ehem." Shoko pointed at her own face, wanting smooches too. That brought laughs out of all three of you before you kissed her forehead, and the guys kissed her cheeks.

The downpour had finally ceased, and you fell asleep from the tiring experience that toppled the rest.

"Too precious for this kind of life, she is." Shoko smiled faintly as the guys kept their eyes on yourself, softly breathing, slowly lifting and lowering your slumbering self.

"Suguru? Those dreams of hers …"

"Premonitions, you mean?"

Satoru nodded. "It's been happening for weeks now."

"She could be a cursed Seer of sorts. See the future and all that." Shoko interjected.

"Her cursed energy has been increasing. Her output as well. Still … I say we keep close to her. Keep our guard up." Suguru suggested.

"And if Yaga-sensei sends her out solo tasking again?" Satoru dreaded that possible outcome.

"We should inform him of this. If a possible dire threat does arrive in our future, I'd suggest one of us go with her on missions just in case. We both can handle solo missions just fine."

"Then I call dibs~!"

Suguru's eyes narrowed intensely. "My idea, my dibs."

Satoru flared up. "Eh~?!"

Your groggy stirring mumbles alerted the bois to keep it down, your settling down leaving them puffing out their reliefs.

"Compromise then, Satoru~?"

Said man groaned. "You're lucky you're you."

Suguru chuckled at that before smooching his snowy haired lover over your resting head.

"Your throuple is a cursed miracle in and of itself, alright." Shoko murmured, toying with the cig between her lips.

Your throuple life story.

Cursed miracle indeed.

487 notes · View notes

hollowtones · 10 months

Note

first yiik impressions?

Hi. Thanks for your message. I've been thinking about this for days. I wrote paragraphs. Here you go!

Everyone talks up how the game is bad, but I've never looked into it much myself, so I went in with an expectation along the lines of "people whose opinions I often agree with think it was an awful mess, I'll likely think something similar". Expectations were low. Even then I wasn't really ready.

"YIIK" is a game of tedium. I don't think it's a game about tedium, that's something different (though it could be, if it was a different video game altogether; "what if the world was made of pudding" etc). To some degree I think the tedium is by design but I'm not really sure what it's in service of.

I don't think tedium in a video game is a bad thing. "Morrowind" and "Breath of the Wild" are two video games I like very much, and some of my favourite memories of those games are of slowly wandering through empty expanses, or having to suddenly deal with equipment degrading or supplies dwindling because I forgot to prepare. Moments like that feel thoughtful! They're interesting moments of reprieve or of tension that feel thoughtfully and intentionally designed! "YIIK" feels like trudging through chest-deep molasses so it can shout "hey did you know you're stuck in my molasses right now? that's weird, why are you stuck in my molasses right now? did you notice?" directly into your ear.

You'll notice this is a pattern.

Combat is turn-based and involves completing little minigames, timing button prompts or hitting targets or some such. It's a cute idea that wears out its welcome when you start realizing how long every single one takes to resolve, especially when you have multiple party members, and sometimes multiple enemies (I'm told this part specifically gets more egregious as the game goes on). I don't think it's awful or unsalvageable but I'm not super into it as of the point we're at.

This is a pattern.

Leveling up is a manual process that you have to unlock, and it involves going to a save point (any save point? we didn't check), to enter the Mind Dungeon, to enter the actual Mind Dungeon, to walk down a set of stairs and enter individual doors one-by-one, so that you can choose how you want to allocate stat increases, so that you can walk down a different set of stairs to commit your choices and spend your banked experience to level up. I think "you can only power up at specific points / times / locations" and the granularity of stat growth are interesting ideas, and the environment they made for it are a charming idea, and I don't think it needed to be a "Hotel Mario" level that you had to slowly walk through. It could have been a menu. They could have used the resources for a nice background or backdrop for a menu that accomplishes the same thing.

This is a pattern.

I haven't really mentioned anything about the story or writing yet. The protagonist's name is Alex and he's a very self-important nerdy misanthropic dickhead white man (a very specific kind of guy that I've definitely met at least once or twice) who is obsessed with a paranormal message board populated by people like him and desperate to find out more about the disappearance of a woman he witnessed. (The woman & her disappearance are based on the real life death of Elisa Lam & aren't handled with a whole lot of tact, IMO, but other people have put this into better words than I can right now. It sucks. It keeps coming up and it makes me bristle every time.) Alex is a bad person. I know he is. You know he is. The game knows he is. I've seen some reviews say a negative point of the game is "the main characters aren't likeable", which I don't really get, because that's the point of the characters, as far as I can tell. The issue, then, is how much time the game takes to exposit at you how bad the characters are. It's exhausting. Every time Alex has a monologue, it feels like it sums up to 10 minutes of "I am a bad person. I am a bad person. Alex is a bad person. This character is a bad person. Do you get it? He's a bad person. Alex is a bad person. Do you understand yet, player? Alex is a bad person. You should know that he's a bad person. Do you get it?"

This is a pattern.

(I don't know how interested I am in bringing up the game's lead writer right now, if at all, but there's a well-known anecdote where he talks about wanting to write a story about a bad person who is forced to grapple with himself and do better, and how the reason why his game wasn't well-received was because people who play video games didn't get it & weren't ready for a story like that. I dunno. I can understand being upset about negative reception to something you poured time and sweat into, and saying something hasty because of it. "Final Fantasy 4" is a beloved RPG classic, though, and "Disco Elysium" came out the same year to overwhelming praise. I haven't played either of these yet, though, so I'll admit maybe I'm off the mark here.)

The characters we've met so far (i.e. the ones that aren't unnamed NPCs) are… well. There's a smarmy younger kid who idolizes(?) Alex & also made the aforementioned paranormal website. So far it seems like he mostly exists to go "hey fuck you Alex, you dickhead" and immediately say something even more insensitive. There's the insensitive based-on-a-real=ass-dead-woman elevator woman, who immediately disappeared from the narrative while still being an essential part of the narrative. There was a dead(?) robot in a bedroom, who had a choir of ominous hooded people monologue about how weird and sad and strange and uncanny the scene is. What the!? There's a woman who works at the arcade and has Powers. Her design's cute. (I feel like, generally, the game's visuals are Fine. The audio, too. That all ranges from Just Fine to Surprisingly Neat. I don't really have much issue with those aspects of the game, but I don't have much to say about them either.) Alex and Kid Whose Name I Didn't Care To Remember are constantly very uncomfortable to her, because she's a woman and because she isn't white, in the 15 or so minutes we've seen her on-screen, and she gets to tell them off, but then immediately kind of goes "well whatever I can smile and put up with this and hang out with you". It feels misogynistic. I know to some degree Alex is misogynistic on purpose, because the game is bludgeoning your skull in and yelling "ALEX IS SHITTY TO WOMEN! AND PEOPLE OF COLOUR! DO YOU GET IT? HE'S SELF ABSORBED IN A SHITTY WAY! DO YOU GET IT, PLAYER? YOU UNDERSTAND THAT ALEX SUCKS ASS YET? MAYBE 10 MORE MINUTES OF THIS WILL MAKE IT CLICK?" But for a woman of colour (the only one we've seen so far who isn't Probably Just Dead) to finally tell him off for being a shithead, only to turn around and go "well it's ok, you're cool now, let's hang out now because it's narratively convenient and you're the protagonist" is pretty damn egregious!

This is a pattern.

Writing in general feels stilted and long-winded. Most of the main characters feel like they don't talk like people do. Alex gets to feel like a person but that's mostly because he gets to talk to himself so damn much. Most of his monologues feel like overly flowery prose, like someone padded it out with identical adjectives to meet a school essay word count. There's an interesting idea or premise or setpiece every now and then. There's a spark. A glint of something compelling. Every single time this has happened so far I find it immediately snuffed out by an over-blown "oh my god!!!!!!! how weird!!!!!!', or a very long plot dump, or a Joss Whedon-ass quip. There can be no small moment of joy. No story element or visual element can stand on its own legs. There can be no room for ideas to breathe. No space for the player to wonder, to dream, to play in the space. The narrative is compelled to suffocate iself on itself, to take up all space, to swallow itself whole in its making. One very minor (so far?) side character has some interesting dialogue in this one dream world, and I think "oh that's neat", and then I learn they're lines taken wholesale from a book (and I think that's fine, reference is fine, but I have a bit of a chuckle over the fact that this character is the reason why the game has a giant REFERENCES option in the main menu). The literal first minute of the game is a bird telling you "oh my god, the title of this game, right? why'd they spell it like that? so fucking dumb, am I right!" It feels insecure. It reads like the writing has no confidence in itself. It has to make a comment about how silly and video-gamey it is, roll its eyes at itself, mock itself for the thing it's doing while continuing to do it without addressing it or discussing it or doing anything with it.

This is a pattern.

There's a specific part of "YIIK", at this early point in the game (we're only around the start[?] of chapter 2), that feels emblematic of the thing as a whole up to this point. Alex is getting phone calls from a stranger. They're confusing and weird and sound a little like something you might hear in a dream. They make references to some shared past, some childhood, some understanding of Alex, or maybe of you, the player. They've come up a few times. Every single time, I'm left thinking about what it could mean, how it fits in with everything we've seen so far & what the game seems to be talking about, with regards to connecting to other people and to yourself. It's a neat little thing. It's a neat idea. I'm charmed by it. As much as my thoughts on this game are largely negative, I still try to look at it fairly, to understand it, to talk about it, to let myself be surprised by it. As soon as I find myself thinking about this, my thoughts are immediately drowned out by Alex telling me how weird the phone call is, how random and uncanny and dumb this is, and how he's rolling his proverbial eyes about it, in spite of all the other paranormal happenings around him, for another period of Just Too Long. And I am sapped of all strength and I crumble to dust.

I'm genuinely transfixed. I'm transfixed! Maybe the fact that I wrote Paragraphs about the 4-or-5 hours I've seen of the game can tell you as much, even if you skip everything I wrote in them.

I can't wait to see more.

This, too, is a pattern.

584 notes · View notes

septembercfawkes · 3 months

Text

How to Convert Exposition into Ammunition

Exposition is all the facts and information conveyed to the audience. It's facts about the setting, the worldbuilding, the characters, the current situation, the history, the magic or technology, or anything else that is straight-up information. Every story needs some exposition, but for all of us, it's been tricky to handle at one point or another.

One of the quickest ways to tell a beginning writer from an experienced writer, is how he or she handles exposition. Beginners often cram in too much too fast, leading to poor pacing, info-dumps, or maid-and-butler dialogue. Professional writers know how to expertly weave exposition into the story, so that the audience is fed information without hardly noticing it.

Last year, I did a post on how to use turning points to help you discern what info to put in and what info to leave out, when. I mentioned that in his famous book, Story, Robert McKee has a maxim: "Convert exposition into ammunition."

It sounds great, right?

But like some of the most meaningful writing advice, it can be difficult to wrap your head around.

It sounds great, but like . . . how does one actually do that? And what does that actually mean?

Luckily, McKee does expound a bit on what he means, and today I'd like to expound on what he means by offering my own spin on it.

As McKee points out, "Show, don't tell" is key for exposition--we want to find ways to dramatize the information. Okay, great, chances are if you're reading my blog, you already know that. Still, it's often helpful to start with what you know.

McKee writes:

Dramatized exposition serves two ends: Its primary purpose is to further the immediate conflict. Its secondary purpose is to convey information. The anxious novice reverses that order, putting expositional duty ahead of dramatic necessity.

This is the part I want to emphasize: Its primary purpose is to further the immediate conflict.

Summed up into one simple line, this is what it means to turn exposition into ammunition.

But don't worry, I won't leave you with only that.

Cause if you know me, I like to go deep . . .

Load the Ammunition! Exposition as an Asset or Problem

Ammunition is meant to be shot, dropped, or detonated.

It's not something you use during peaceful circumstances (unless, of course, the peaceful circumstance is just covering up a silent struggle).

Because we want to connect the exposition to the current conflict, this means that one of two (or both) battling forces is loaded with the ammunition.

The protagonist.

Or the antagonist.

And when I say "antagonist," I'm not just talking about the main "bad guy."

The antagonistic force is whatever is opposing the protagonist in the pursuit of his goal. So while there is often a main antagonist, there will actually be lots and lots and lots of lesser antagonists. A rock may be an antagonist. A computer. A storm. A substance. A mouse. (Read more about this in "The True Purpose of Antagonists.")

Furthermore, the protagonist of a scene may not always be the main protagonist of the story (but more on that in a sec).

The protagonist is someone the audience is oriented toward (often the viewpoint character), who is pursuing a goal.

So, to simplify, the protagonist pursues a goal, and the antagonistic force opposes that.

This is what creates true conflict, which may or may not include flying fists or shouting matches. Conflict is simply the protagonist struggling to pursue the goal because of the antagonist.

When the protagonist is loaded with ammunition, it's an asset. He aims it at the antagonist to get the obstacle out of his way.

When the antagonist is loaded with ammunition, it's a problem. He (or it) aims it at the protagonist to get the protagonist out of the way.

This means that in order to make exposition into ammunition, we need to turn the information into an asset or a problem.

And it needs to become an asset or a problem for the current conflict. . . .

The Current Conflict

Okay, so, before we go much further, I need to briefly review a few concepts. If you've been following me a long time, I hope you won't want to aim your ammunition toward me, because we've gone over this a lot, but it's critical to make sure we are all on the same page, because everything builds off the basics.

Novelists often focus on the big main conflict that stretches through the length of the book, the global story or the narrative arc (depending on what terminology you prefer), and structurally, it looks like this:

The conflict creates the rising action. If we were to zoom in, it'd be like this . . .

But this isn't only true of the story as a whole. Story structure is a fractal, and this is true of smaller structural units as well.

This is true of acts (and the second act is commonly cut in half):

And it's also true of scenes:

They fit inside each other, like a Russian nesting doll.

This means nearly every scene has a conflict.

This also means that nearly every scene should have a goal.

And nearly every scene should have an antagonist.

Because, rising action only happens when a character is pursuing a goal and running into antagonistic forces (obstacles). This is what creates the climb, the escalation.

The difference is that in a scene, all these components happen to a smaller degree, than the story as a whole.

So, the protagonist and antagonist of a scene, may not always be the same as the main protagonist and main antagonist of the global story.

The primary purpose of exposition is to further the immediate conflict.

The immediate conflict is what's happening in the scene. It's the current scene's conflict.

And yes, often that conflict is also feeding into the act-level conflict, which is feeding into the global story conflict. Because the smaller units fit inside (and even make up) the larger units.

So we best turn exposition into ammunition, by making it ammunition for the current conflict.

For the scene-level conflict.

Let's talk about how to do that. . . .

Exposition as Ammunition

Just as that basic structural shape fits within itself, within scenes, so do all the basic elements of plot.

The primary principles of plot are goal, antagonist, conflict, and consequences (stakes & ramifications).

Every scene should have a goal, an antagonist, a conflict, and consequences.

Turning points are important too--those are the "climaxes" in the structures above--it's when the conflict hits a definitive outcome that changes the direction of the story. It turns it into falling action.

There are more plot elements that build off these, but these are the most important and most foundational. They almost always need to be there to create a great scene.

The way to turn exposition into ammunition, is to turn information into plot elements.

It's part of the goal. It's part of the antagonist. It's part of the conflict. It's part of the consequences. It's part of the turning point. (Or it's part of one of the other plot elements I didn't mention (I'm simplifying).)

Or even more simplistically speaking--it's an asset or a problem in the current situation.

Let's look at an example to demonstrate.

Example #1: Magic System Exposition into Ammunition

Say we have a magic system about shadows. Perhaps in it, if your shadow overlaps with another's, that person is more susceptible to your influence and manipulation. In your little fictive world, you think this is a cool idea, and of course, the audience needs to know about it.

But simply explaining it to the audience isn't plot. Exposition in and of itself, doesn't make plot. Exposition is just information, and it certainly isn't functioning as "ammunition."

How do we convert it into ammunition?

By connecting it to plot.

We make it the protagonist's goal to manipulate another character through her shadow. Now she watches light sources and where her shadow falls. Now she tries to get closer to this other person, without being obvious. It's interesting because it's relevant to what's happening at hand.

Or perhaps in this scene, this magic is part of the antagonistic force. Someone else is trying to stop the protagonist by manipulating her via shadow, and now she needs to make sure their shadows don't touch.

Or we bring the shadow magic into a different, current conflict. Maybe neither person originally intends to manipulate the other via shadow. They are arguing about something totally different. But as it escalates, one shadow falls over the other's and contributes to the situation. It helps the protagonist, or it creates more problems for the protagonist.

Or we tie it to the consequences. If the protagonist fails to outrun the antagonist (current conflict), the antagonist will force her down, then manipulate her to the point she's basically brainwashed via shadow magic.

Or, we make it part of the turning point. The current conflict escalates, and the way the "battle" is definitively lost or won is by manipulating someone via shadow.

It's not just information anymore. It's ammunition.

It's working as an asset or problem for the protagonist.

As the audience watches this play out, they barely recognize they are being fed information.

To them, they are simply being fed plot.

And it's scene-level plot. Meaning, it's immediately relevant.

Suddenly what could have been a boring chunk of info-dump is exhilarating. It has the audience on the edge of their seats.

Let's look at another example.

Example #2: Backstory Exposition into Ammunition

Let's say your character has a history with another character in the scene. They were childhood neighbors, and one time as kids they got into trouble. They were throwing water balloons at passing cars, and one of the drivers got out and chased them. They got cornered in an alley and the driver called the cops.

Now, these characters find themselves together again, and they are planning what to do next on their way toward the main plot goal.

So I could just dump in that backstory as exposition. . . .

Or I could find a way to turn it into ammunition.

Rather than having them peacefully planning together, it would likely be better if they were arguing about what to do next. This makes the second character an antagonist for the protagonist, within the scene.

Each person is trying to convince the other that their idea is great and the other person's is terrible.

As things get heated, the second character blames the protagonist for getting the cops called on them as kids.

This is now ammunition that feeds into the fight--it's the antagonist shooting it against the protagonist in the current conflict.

Now they are arguing about the water balloon incident.

So what was originally just info about their pasts, is now contributing to the current plot.

Let's do one more example . . .

Example #3: Character Exposition into Ammunition

Your character dreams of winning the upcoming beauty pageant. But that information isn't relevant to the current plot. Yet it's important information to know, because it conveys not only her interests but key skills she's going use in an upcoming scene.

You could try to shoehorn it in, or you could weave it into the current conflict.

Perhaps the current conflict is seemingly unrelated.

She has to walk home from work every day, and her goal is to get home before dark. She doesn't feel safe walking home in the dark.

Anything that delays her, becomes an antagonistic force.

She's facing stray dogs, street salesmen, and chatty acquaintances.

In her rush, she accidentally steps into a storm drain grate, which ruins her shoes.

The shoes she intends to wear to the beauty pageant (she shouldn't have worn them that day, but she had a nice presentation at work and took the risk).

This is a cost, or consequence (ramification) of her pursuing her home in a rush.

It's "shot" her in a way that impacts her future. It's thrown her trajectory at least slightly off balance.

It's a problem.

Contextual Exposition

Now, I want to acknowledge that not every single piece of information needs to be completely dramatized or "shown," and if it was, chances are the audience would feel like the story was lacking context.

Context is the information the audience needs to properly interpret the story. Without it, the audience feels a little blind. They need the narrator to guide them so they can appreciate what is unfolding.

So, if Joe calls Mack, "Sam," the audience wants a clue as to why. Is Sam a nickname? Is Joe bad at remembering names? Is Joe doing this to be rude? The audience doesn't know. They can't properly interpret what just happened. They need more insight.

If Joe calls Mack, "Sam," to be rude, then the narrator needs to drop a line of exposition to explain that. This is not only acceptable, but necessary.

In a strange way, though, this kinda brings us full circle.

Notice that this is providing context for the current conflict (or situation).

It's not information for the sake of information.

Having this information adds power to the current scene. It will help us understand that scene's conflict.

It doesn't take away or distract us from that scene.

In the same book, McKee talks about how you must pass on information that ensures the reader won't be confused. This is contextual information.

(Well, ensures the reader won't be unintentionally and unnecessarily confused. (In some rare exceptions, we may want the reader to be confused, but only briefly.))

McKee says, do pass on exposition if it reduces confusion.

Do write contextual exposition.

Even in my magic system example above, I would include contextual information. If I didn't, the audience wouldn't know to care two cents about the protagonist's shadow. They would probably feel confused on some level, when one character suddenly succumbs to the influence of the other, not understanding how or why.

Contextual exposition helps build the framework of the current scene's plot.

It may not be ammunition, but it's the material of the weapon that will hold the ammunition.

If there is no weapon, the ammunition doesn't do so much.

Reveal the information that will make the ammunition most impactful in the story.

When you do that, it's still relevantly tied to the current plot.

#writeblr #writeblogging #writing tips #writing tips and tricks #writing tip #writing help #writing advice #writer #writing #writing reference #writers on tumblr #writerscommunity

202 notes · View notes

the-modern-typewriter · 5 months

Note

do you have any advice on writing beginnings? i never know where to start so that the exposition and action are balanced enough to make the opening interesting. i can do middles and ends easily enough if the beginning is well-set up, but i’ve always struggled. any tips?

I'm going to focus on balancing exposition and action in this answer, as it seems to be the key area you are struggling with, rather than openings more generally.

Okay. Let's go!

1 - Need to know

The first question to ask yourself is what does the reader actually need to know to follow and understand the story?

Openings can vary by genre and the age group they are written for, but beneath all of the variations and methods, is the need to know. So long as you have that covered, the rest honestly just comes down to reader and author preference.

What a reader needs to know will depend on your story and your plot. E.g. if it is a portal fantasy, then we typically just need to know what the protagonist is missing/yearning for/struggling with in their everyday life in order for us to see how this is changed through their adventure in a new world. We will learn about the new world as the protagonist does so there will be a natural exposition point as they explore (exploring = action, we learn as they learn).

If, on the other hand, the whole story is set in a magical fantasy land that the protagonist has always known, then you're going to have to do more exposition in order for your reader to understand the key rules of the world and what things mean.

2 - Start at the interesting bit/provide your protag a goal or the reader with a question they want answered

We don't typically start on an ordinary day where nothing happens, even if it shows us what the protagonist's normal life is like. We start on the day that they have a job interview they desperately want to ace, or the day a body is found in the river, or a day where something unusual happens or two characters meet for the first time.

This raises external, concrete plot questions.

Because we have started at an interesting point in the story where something is actually happening, it makes it easier to interweave action with exposition.

To go hand in hand with this, give your character a goal/something they want. This doesn't have to be a big or seemingly important thing, although it can be. The recent film Everything Everywhere All At Once did a wonderful example of this in that the main character just wanted to do her taxes. Other examples might be that a character just wants to get home after a bad day, or to pick a cake for an event. Whatever.

This can have a number of different purposes depending on the story. For example, it provides tension and conflict because there is an obstacle in the way of what they want (to get home), or it provides an opportunity to showcase character or relationship (e.g. the cake).

3 - Options for exposition

There are different options for doing exposition.

A narrator or first person POV can tell the reader about the world even through direct narration or their internal thoughts. This works especially well if you have a strong sense of character. It is useful for conveying key information quickly, but you will likely want to break it up with other forms of exposition to avoid an info dump.

A flashback. Flashbacks are a great tool! I don't recommend starting a story with a flashback. They are much better for providing important information a little later after you have hooked your reader with the more immediate plot.

Dialogue. Dialogue is a natural and excellent way for us to learn about characters and the world that is also action. The danger being that your dialogue still has to sound natural. If the characters wouldn't be standing around actually talking like that in that setting at that time, sorry mate. Do a different exposition technique.

Exploration/setting. Characters can learn about a place/world as they explore it, which means the reader can learn with them as they experience the world.

One way to balance your exposition with action is to vary how you do your exposition. If your reader is having fun reading the story, they won't care that it's exposition/set up. All stories start with exposition. Look at your favourites and break down what they are actually doing, shamelessly steal the framework, and adapt as relevant for your work.

4 - Remember that you don't have to start by writing the opening

Openings are easier when you know what your story is about. This is because openings often showcase something that is going to be relevant throughout the story. This could be a specific image, a nod to theme, or some character trait that will be important.

If you don't know what your story is about yet because you are still writing it (totally valid!), feel free to come back to the opening later, in the same way that you might write the body of an essay and then do the introduction/conclusion last once you have figured out what you want to say.

You're allowed to work backwards. You're allowed to work in any jigsaw way that works for you. You don't have to write the first line first.

When you know your story, it's also a lot easier to figure out what your reader will need to know.

#i hope this helps #sorry it's a bit general/vague there's a lot going on with openings #writing talk #writing tips #writing advice #writeblr

193 notes · View notes

emkini · 3 months

Text

WELL my best bro and I watched the first episode of the live action A:TLA series and suffice to say we will not be watching any more of them (except maybe if I want to torture myself writing a full comparison analysis).

The writing is atrocious and I felt no emotional punch from any of the scenes. This show wants to be Game of Thrones and is failing— aside from action scenes there is little to no attempt at crafting interesting shots. Aside from the very first opening scene there are zero creative changes to the story that actually improve it or even add interest, and somehow the pacing is so off that even with a whole hour of runtime it still feels rushed. I get the distinct impression that this show is more worried about being a new, crowd-pleasing take on the original than about being faithful to the original's themes and characterization.

Speaking of characterization, it leaves a lot to be desired. Now I'm not going to be too hard on the younger actors, because they are children and they're not doing a bad job for their age. Most of the actors so far do also seem to have made a decent attempt at understanding their roles, but in some cases they....absolutely failed. Iroh immediately comes to mind– he feels exceptionally callous thus far and ironically his bright and dismissive encouragement of Zuko's firebending is the most egregious example. Iroh in the original show is established early on to have depth and steel to his kindness and his reprimands of Zuko have a consistent undertone of care. This Iroh is a military general who doesn't want to be here and occasionally puts on a forced kind uncle veneer that feels more jarring than authentic. Honestly Sokka is the only character so far who has captured ANY of the original charm for me and even he's been so watered down it's laughable.

The CGI isn't....horrendous, I guess, but it's terribly overused. Bending has no subtlety and is only used for shows of skill or power. There are some impressive landscapes and locations, but a lack of atmosphere and even just good cinematography does them no favors. Wolf Cove especially feels so oddly sterile for what's supposed to be quite a small, close-knit society that I couldn't like it nearly as much as I wanted to. GranGran's exposition scene made me want to pull my hair out for how badly it was done.

In summary, the first episode was downright offensive to my personal sensibilities and I have a feeling it's not going to get better. On the upside, however, when we watched the first episode of the original show it really highlighted jut how spectacularly done it was. In just 20 minutes you get a perfect feel for the characters, something the live action couldn't seem to do even with triple the runtime.

Also Zuko's scar is just face paint and I, as an eye horror enthusiast, am extremely mad about that.

#atla #avatar the last airbender #negativity #i guess #I'm not trying to be negative but like. ain't much to be positive about XD

146 notes · View notes

snapscube · 7 months

Note

So you mentioned the Amazing Spider-man movies, what are your thoughts on them? For me; I was pleasantly surprised by 1 AND 2. Like 2 is bad, real bad, but the jokes were legit, Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone are just...an amazing on screen couple and until the transformation Harry is a really fun villain....just sucks that most of the movie is exposition about peoples relationships to one another or experiments done mostly off screen.

TASM1 is perfectly serviceable as a standalone project and was definitely not the worst jumping off point, but it struggles to really properly understand Spider-Man/Peter as a personality. Peter absolutely doesn't have to be a goody two-shoes loser, all of the best adaptations of Peter imo can have some serious attitude and grit to their persona, but TASM1 kinda over-corrects on the Tobey Maguire "shy nerd" angle by making Spidey a bit too much of a dick. I remember the movie getting a lot of praise for finally making Spider-Man funny and quippy, praise I similarly gave at the time, but it really... doesn't do that nearly as much as ppl gave it credit for??? There's like ONE scene where Spider-Man is kinda jokey with someone he suspects to be Ben's killer, but that scene kinda stinks because he's not quipping as much as he's like actively cruel lmao. Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone had great chemistry though and you can tell Marc Webb knew his stuff when it came to directing that kind of romantic tension, seeing as how his previous project was 500 Days of Summer. All-in-all, it's a Fine movie but it's not a fantastic adaptation of the things I personally like about Spider-Man.

TASM2 is so much more intriguing to me to watch and to talk about. It's genuinely baffling how that movie ended up like it did, but in a way that almost anyone could have predicted. That movie STINKS. It's really really bad. But it also has kind of the opposite problem to TASM1 in that... TASM1 is a good movie that doesn't properly showcase the character of Spider-Man, whereas TASM2 is a garbage movie that features some of the best live action Spider-Man scenes/setpieces we had seen and would ever see to this day. It's sincerely tragic how many great INDIVIDUAL MOMENTS are in that movie, and how loosely connected they are by some monumentally stupid studio meddling. That movie has everything going in its favor with Andrew Garfield in the lead, the best live action Spider-Man suit to this day, the most thrilling and well rendered swinging sequences put to film, and the occasional glimpse of a true Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man that is down on the ground connecting with and watching over not just the city itself but the people within it. There's a montage in the middle of the movie that features Spider-Man on his daily patrol and he comes across as just so PRESENT and on the same level as the people he protects, meanwhile in the audio track you hear newscasters and interviews fiercely debating whether or not what he does is actually worthwhile. And that shit HITS. But unfortunately that kind of stuff is still too rare and it far overshadowed by Sony desperately trying to make a Spidey Cinematic Universe without earning it. Ultimately they had all of the pieces to make a truly definitive adaptation of Spidey that I feel like almost anyone could get behind, but they just... couldn't. Even Spider-Man PS4, commonly lauded as one of the most definitive Spidey stories of all time, uses SO MUCH of the same DNA of the Amazing Spider-Man films, but the difference is that it had the space to be only exactly what it needed to be. Nothing more, nothing less. Anyway I could talk more about this for sure but I'm looking at the length of this write-up and wincing already LOL.

328 notes · View notes

oneatlatime · 7 months

Text

Bitter Work

Life took me out at the knees for a couple of weeks but I'm back! I'm hoping this is a nice restful episode after the relentlessness of The Chase.

I have to say, Toph's nicknaming skills are on point. I never would have thought of Sugarqueen, but it fits perfectly.

This is me. Every morning.

Full nose plant from Appa.

And the beat up Sokka quota is fulfilled. Very funny Toph, but completely uncalled for. If someone had catapulted teenage me 50 feet into the air while I was trying to sleep, it would have been fully justifiable homicide.

Aang is always trying to run before he can walk. What was Iroh always saying to Zuko about basics? Aang needs that speech too.

I was really on the ball in my post about how airbenders aren't homicidal, actually. Rock is a stubborn element. Yay me!

Aang earthbends = Earth bends Aang.

Seriously, how did he mess up that badly?

Cozy.

Thank you Zuko for the incredibly obvious exposition that's somehow completely in character. Interesting to see that Iroh and his son had brown hair, but Zuko seems to have black hair. More hair variety in the Fire Nation than I thought.

Tangent time! I love the contrast in social intelligence (I guess that's the term?) in this scene. Zuko wakes Iroh up with an infodump, some bad tea, and then gets straight to discussing strategy. Iroh's first actions are to compliment the bad tea, then dispose of the refill in a way that won't hurt Zuko's feelings (probably not necessary, as Zuko seems to be the type that's oblivious to all things other than the task at hand when he's focused). Iroh, injured and awake for all of 15 seconds, jumps straight to actions that help look after his nephew. And Zuko is trying! That's why he made tea! But still, he doesn't even ask if his uncle's feeling ok. Zuko has such a massive gap in his education - he can probably reel off the specs of all Fire Nation battleships, but he doesn't know how to be a human person. Contrast that with Iroh, and especially Katara, who makes friends and connections with such aggressive forwardness that she's at times more steamroller than teenage girl. It's funny how privilege plays into this too - Zuko comes from probably the single most privileged (on paper) family in the world, yet it's the children of the impoverished water tribe who have the more well-rounded education/socialisation.

"She's crazy and she needs to go down" go a full belly laugh out of me.

"What if I came at the boulder from a different angle?" Jesus I was REALLY on point with my post about the airbenders. Credit where credit is due, this show has such good writing/worldbuilding that viewers have picked up what Toph is laying out in this episode already. Also a little bit of stealth character work in there - since Toph is putting into words what we've been thinking this whole time, she now reads as trustworthy. This show is so good. So thought out.

Maybe it's just VLC being weird, but methinks Katara is having some trouble with her eyeball.

Katara STOP BABYING HIM. This is why I don't like Aang having a crush on her.

Honestly it's refreshing to have Toph giving it to Aang straight, no softening the blows.

I really like this texture.

Sokka's club is a giant bottle opener. Or at least a multitool.

ROCK SUITS

wait

ELEMENTAL FASHION

oh this is going to be haybending all over again.

They are totally going to have to nerf this girl. She could defeat the Fire Lord right now.

Earth beats water tribe

Someome who knows more about tea than I do: Why are both pots necessary?

"requires peace of mind" well that's out. Sorry Zuko, we'll have to get you a taser instead.

"So we're drinking tea to calm down?" "not it's to get the nasty ass taste of the sludge you brewed out of my mouth. I mean yes." For what's looking like an extended training montage, this episode is far funnier than it needs to be.

I pretty much don't notice Zuko's scar anymore (it's just part of his character design) then every so often a certain frame of animation will come out of the blue and remind me that this kid's missing half his face. I don't know if it's intentional on the part of the animators, but his scar is prominent this episode.

So it sounds like bending lightning actually corresponds with how lightning in our world works. Neat.

In an absolutely Shocking turn of events (pun absolutely intended), Zuko fucks it up. Fucking shit up: the autobiography of a Fire Prince. Has a nice ring to it.

Toph I know you go hard, but maybe apply a sense of proportion to this?

It kind of looks like Aang's about to be run over by a giant scoop of caramel ice cream.

Toph is such an interesting mishmash of bluntness and emotional intelligence. I don't think I've seen a character like that before.

Zuko being self aware for once! Everything always does explode in his face. Except when he's being the Blue Spirit. Seems he's more capable then.

It's a tragedy that this boy wasn't around for the emo movement. He would have single-handedly sustained Hot Topic.

Zuko going "WHAT TURMOIL?!?!?" is like Katara going "I'M COMPLETELY CALM!!!!!" last episode. Also got a laugh out of me.

"I'm as proud as ever." OF WHAT?!?!? What could he possibly be proud of? He's a homeless fugitive with a stolen horse bird and a half-dead uncle that he can't even properly brew tea for. The self-delusion is strong.

Is pride the source of shame? Honest question, I don't know.

There's a surprising variety of trees in this part of the Earth Kingdom. Where Zuko and Iroh are there are fluffly hardwoods, probably deciduous; Toph's training ground is ringed by cartoon pines.

This whole bit is too cute for words.

"Now come back boomerang" This is a training episode, it's not supposed to be this funny!

Are there voice acting awards? Like voice acting oscars? Sokka's actor needs one. Or several.

I should have waited to answer the ask about airbenders and just copy pasted Iroh's speech here. Except for the water = change bit. That doesn't make sense.

What can I possibly say about Iroh's speech? It's the thesis for this show in a single paragraph.

Pretty.

Are characters' eyes a different shape this episode? Aang's eyes change colour all the time, but everyone's eyes seem more cat-like.

I do love me some constructive bullying.

Sokka is so refreshingly self-aware while still totally oblivious. He is meat and sarcasm, but he's so much more!

"Have you got any meat?" He said that in an Irish accent.

"You're gonna pull my fingers off and I don't think the rest of me is coming!" Do you ever come across a sentence that is so obviously an innuendo that your brain trips over itself trying to decipher it?

Sokka's hair must be so fluffy. It's got so much volume.

Why can't he go get Toph? I think being stuck in a hole outranks avoiding an awkward encounter.

FOO FOO CUDDLYPOOPS

"You must not let the lightning pass through your heart, or the damage could be deadly." Foreshadowing?

Today in 'things Zuko thinks it's acceptable, nay, expected, for parental figures to do' - attempted murder as a teaching method! What went on in that palace?

Is this the closest Sokka's come to dying?

He's earthbending the air! Doing air but earthlike. You know what I mean.

I thought she was levitating.

Toph is so smart. She does the airbender thing and comes at the problem from a different angle. Telling Aang to stand up for himself doesn't work? Fine. Let's bully him into standing up for himself. And it works!

This episode's MVP is Sokka's patience.

"You tried the positive reinforcement, didn't you?" uhhhhh sure!

Appa getting vengeance for Sokka. Nice.

Theatre kids.

I wish Zuko would just have the breakdown he's obviously hurtling towards so we can get started on the rebuilding arc. Every time I think he's a rock bottom, he keeps digging.

Luten is Katara. Let's not read too far into that one.

Final Thoughts

I defy any episode from this point on to fulfill the Beat Up Sokka Quota as thoroughly as this one did.

In a lesser show, the 'Aang learns earthbending episode' would have had Aang & Toph as the A-plot, and Sokka & Katara doing something completely unrelated as a b-plot, and probably no Zuko at all. Sokka does have his own thing going on this episode, but the fact that they managed to weave in both water tribe siblings so organically is so satisfying. Of course a team member struggling to learn a new skill would seek out his friends. Of course his friends are in the area, observing the lesson to varying degrees. It feels so much more real to have the characters who aren't 'useful' that episode still there, rather than conveniently absent.

Zuko was very Zuko this episode. He's correct that he needs more training for his inevitable next encounter with Zuko jr., but Iroh is also correct that Zuko is a bundle of issues held together by a different bundle of issues. Not to jinx it, but I thought I detected a hint of self-awareness from Zuko this episode, although it seems to have occurred despite his best efforts to suppress it.

Iroh's Zuko-wrangling skills were sharp this episode, despite being injured. And his wisdom was off the charts. Zuko was also not as annoying as I usually find him, and unlike in Zuko Alone where I found his quieter self to be out of character, it fit this episode. Maybe he's turned over a new, quieter, leaf? I loved "she's crazy and she needs to go down" both as a joke and as a statement. Shared blood doesn't trump someone's actions, and I'm glad to see a show meant for kids acknowledge that. Although, given that this show has no problem depicting objectively BAD parents and families, I can't say I'm surprised.

In a testament to Jack de Sena's skill, Sokka get a soliloquy this episode and pulls it off flawlessly. Kudos to the animation team for making Sokka's face fit the words so well. Double kudos for whoever had the balls to approve 'stick Sokka in a hole and put an apex predator on his head to force self-reflection' as a plotline.

There was a lot of exposition from a lot of different characters this episode, but it's mostly unnoticeable. It just makes sense that that's what they would be talking about at that point in time.

I think I said it above, but I'll say it again: the worldbuilding in this show is phenomenally well done. How do I know this? Because I was able to construct most of Iroh's monologue before watching this episode, just by paying attention. This show rewards focus and attentiveness. (Almost) nothing that Iroh said was not something the audience has already observed for themselves. Not heard, but observed. That 'show, don't tell' thing.

This episode was way funnier than it needed to be too. Not just the obvious stuff like *inhales*

FOO FOO CUDDLYPOOPS

but tiny one-liners buried mid-conversation and character interactions too. Momo turning into a reed didn't have to be there, but it was, and it was funny. It wasn't exactly restful, but it was a relief to have an episode that really didn't move around after The Chase.

What I like most about this episode was that it went farther than it had to. This was a training episode. It could have been just training. Anyone familiar with training episodes would expect just training, and be satisfied with just training. But Avatar said 'nope, we'll do better than that' and organically incorporated a heap of character stuff, worldbuilding from multiple perspectives, humour, multiple characters undergoing self-reflection, the next step in the domestication of Zuko, what I'm hoping wasn't a heap of foreshadowing, and pretty backgrounds as the cherry on top. They didn't have to go so hard, but Avatar always goes hard. I like that.

#atla #avatar: the last airbender #avatar the last airbender #bitter work

172 notes · View notes