#i'm doing better now i swear

[thebewilderer]

AGH i hate that thing where usually when your brain passively yet explicitly Predicts A Thing and then it happens with or without your at-the-time acknowledging the prediction

and then after this happens a dozen times you start recognizing it as a pattern and so every time you notice that Feeling happens in your brain where you know it's Predicting A Thing you start panicking about The Thing and how to prevent it but a) you know about the forer effect and b) even if that wasn't a thing you assume that the fact that you know about The Thing That Will Happen surely will affect the happen-ness of The Thing That Will Happen and so you try to avoid it but you also realize that by trying to avoid it you might encounter the Curse Of Self-Fulfilling Prophecy which means that The Thing will happen because you tried to prevent it which just makes you panic about whether or not you should try to prevent it or not and-

i fully acknowledge that this is an OCD thing but that doesn't make it less distressing

#ocd #actually ocd #catch me in a full on panic at four in the morning because of a bizarre series of coincidences that lead my ocd brain to- #-conclusively conclude that Bad Thing will happen #see if i even acknowledge what Bad Thing is then it will happen #i literally cannot even voice my fears without triggering the ocd #see this is why i tried to kill myself in highschool #ugh #i'm doing better now i swear #only a minor Complete Mental Breakdown this time #HUGE improvement #i HATE that the best treatment for ocd is lack of reassurance i HATE IT #it just means that i have to continue this Complete Mental Breakdown until The Thing doesn't happen #(which of course i know that my obsessions about The Thing and The Thing occurring are completely unrelated) #(which just makes it more fuCKING infuriating) #see THIS is why i tried to kill myself in highschool okay #or at least the greater portion of the reason #if anyone has any Techniques That Won't Mutate Into A Compulsion now is the fucking time please #agh #hate this #ih #pers #suicide mention #<- since i mention it in the tags #better be safe than not? i guess?

[sergle]

You!! Hey you!! Are you looking for a pair of kittens? Do you live In Or Near Oklahoma? Do you wish you could listen to purring all the time? Do you want a cat that looks like an aye-aye?

long story short, we found these two kittens at the bottom of a garbage can!! I don't like to think about how they ended up in there- but we heard them crying while on a walk, and it's very lucky they were so loud! They were scared at first, but now they NEED to be snuggled at all times. Crazy how adaptable kittens are. I'd prefer to rehome them as a pair, but I'd consider adopting them out individually if that's my only option! Please IM me if you're interested in both/either of these babies, or if you have any questions at all!!

#reblogs would of course be appreciated #kittens #cats #sergle.txt #WE'RE DOING IT AGAIN EVERYBODY LAST TIME IT WAS CHALUPA NOW IT'S TWITCH AND CHAT #please please please take these cats from me I swear to god. you will love them. something clicked in their heads and now they LOVE people. #I'm telling you right now that adopting cats as a Set is the best idea. there's no better way to have two cats that Get Along #and you get to watch them play. and bc they keep eachother company they can handle being left alone for chunks of time #Chalupa really needed all hands on deck but I actually think someone who works full-time could have these two no problem #because they keep themselves occupied if you leave them alone but are ecstatic when you're around #source: they are upstairs rn to keep them separate from our Resident Cats and I hear them galloping around all the time while they play.

[buglaur]

#hellooooo it's been a long week for sure #got my exam results. did a lot better than i thought i'd do!!! #also had an interview for a place in a community college which i got #but i hopefully got into uni (i'll find out 2pm tmrw) so i mightn't need it!!! #i'm so scared man i'm used to class sizes of like.. 8 😭 #and now i've gotta get 4 buses a day to the city and back instead of a 20 min stroll up the road 😔 #did a pub crawl saturday to celebrate. had a lot of fun #been having fun with bg3 too!! i'm still on act 1 #my ear is blocked again 😔 it's €60 to get it drained ughhh i'll just suffer on #getting my first tattoo soon though 🥳 #enough about me lol i need to make a personal sideblog one of these days #i'll def have a lot less time to be active with sims stuff if i'm starting uni so i'll be sure to make one ^^ #ANYWAYS here's ms macmahon #/roxana #i swear to god i'm going to catch up with all the new kmik posts when i wake up tomorrow #if i don't assume me dead #ts4

[roronoacherries]

pussy eater zoro thoughts clogging my brain

#it's his favorite thing to do idc what anyone says #only thing he likes better than sake is getting pussy drunk off you #i'm going to go be productive now i swear #୨⎯ sol habla ☼

[cinnamon-phrog]

I feel too sick to sleep right now, everything's' too cold or too hot and I can't even breathe without thinking I'm gonna throw up

#it's because i've been drinking diluted juice #i swear the shit they put in that makes me delirious with fever #ughhhh so sick wish a nice big strong mechanoid could help me rn :( real shame #gonna drink water till the middle of the night. there goes my plans for a better nights' sleep :< #i do genuinely feel awful and i have been feeling so for a while and it's all my own doing. not eating healthy. stressing out and barely- #-sleeping. i have stretch marks from losing weight and circles under my eyes. everything's fuzzy. i keep forgetting basic things. #i'm worried about my future. i'm too disabled to function with a job but not disabled 'enough' just because i can speak 'clearly' #i've got no irl friends or family to fall back on. i can only travel so far and i get meltdowns far easier now #months ago i was treated like a pet. now i'm an adult before i ever got to be a child. #i want to be held. be loved without even having to say a word to each other. not even by an f//o but by someone who'll be willing to love m #but all i am now is sick and hungry and hot and cold and tired and awake. #i can't imagine how much worse it is for other people though. i've seen awful images and they're not even a taste of how terrible it is #i worry i won't be able to afford food in the future. or have a stable flat or apartment. that social services will let me down again #this year was meant to be a break but i'm constantly worrying about the time i become 18. my autism and lack of any social life- #will impact me and i'll be fucked over easier than ever. and that happens often #college brought me panic attacks where i'd physically harm myself till i got migraines in front of people and they didn't bat an eye #i could be kicking and screaming and begging for help but they'll just ignore me or infantilise me

[closet-of-bones]

UHm-

This some SUPER old art now but I ✨️forgot✨️ to post it 'cause I didn't like it but now I kinda like it???

Idk I hope someone else likes it too 👀👉👈

#utmv #ut au #killer sans #dust sans #old art lmao #don't look at it #but do #not too closely tho #I swear I'm better than this now #dusttale #killertale #they're such good friends #Killer definitely saying the dumbest shit rn #Dust is such a mood

[acreekinthenight]

i'm so god damn close to deleting this

it feels like nothing i do fixes the things i hate

#clyde is scaring me #i dont know what to do with him and he's been looking at me like that for two hours now #i'm also realizing craig's leg is ten yards long so ughhhh #i should just stick to drawing tweek clearly these other losers were not meant to be drawn by me #i kept some of my actual notes to myself lol #i couldn't leave them all there because a lot of them overlap and half of them are me yelling at myself #the only parts i like about this is tweek and jimmy's nose and thats it #omg i just scrolled up and got jumpscared by clyde i need to fix him asap #he was better when i just deleted his whole head i swear #this art piece is just me documenting my decent into madness

[sskk-manifesto]

(*・ω・*)b♪

#I'm a bit late but :) #Mmmhh lots of thoughts about this episode. Nothing really relevant though lol #I like it... Mostly. Well‚ I like Atsushi‚ and I like Atsushi screentime. #I always forget that there's actually a one week timeskip within the Guild arc #I think these chapters were generally better executed in the manga. #But even then it's just... #Why do the make the Guild / Fitzgerald so. dumb. Why do they make them act so wildly irrationally and at the protagonists' advantage #It really gives villain acting entirely mindlessly to make the plot advance and the heroes win. It's really sensless. #I mean especially when Atsushi yielded. Why didn't Fitzgerald take his offer. For real!! #For real. He had NOTHING to gain from proceeding with his plan. He already obtained for Atsushi and the ada to collaborate. #Now they are NEVER going to help him‚ and that's agreat loss for him. #And idk. i hear that little Tumblr post in my voice saying “why would you complain about characters acting irrationally! #Do people irl never act irrationally?” #And yeah I get Fitzgerald was frustrated for losing Mitchell and his fight with Hawthorne. Okay I understand. #But that's definitely too much. That's him acting downright stupid at the heroes' advantage and it's just pretty underwhelming to read? #That said. It's just general notes I'm not particularly annoyed because like. That's just b/s/d to you. Dumbing down the villains a second– #so the author can escape the trap they put themselves into. Very Marvel-esque move lol. #On that exact same note WHY WOULD LUCY HAVE THE DOLL. #The doll is the whole premise for your plan working why would you not protect it with everything 😭😭😭 #I'm not getting in the Lucy / Atsushi scene itself. I love Lucy but I swear every time that scene gets played a femminist dies #(it's me. I'm the femminist dying every time.) #Mmmhh a couple more things. I dislike the ost choice in the scene where Steinbeck is torturing Q it feels so out of place #And I really don't get what's the deal with the Hawthorne / Fitzgerald convo it's so confusing to me. Like it It looks like Hawtorne is– #blaming Fitzgerald for Mitchell's condition (both in health and for her family status) but... #Objectively neither of those things are Fitzgerald's fault? Idk maybe I just have very little media comprehension for this arc because– #a lot of things just seem to happen with no sense. But it's okay #Im complaining a lot lol but its mostly irrelevant things (or like with the dumbification of villains things I've learnt to live with lmao) #But the episode was generally nice. The animation this season is consistently very pretty. #random rambles

[flecks-of-stardust]

HAWIERKHKHJJHKFDS GO BOY GO

#starting a new thread cause the old one was getting long #rain world #gourmand spoilers #downpour spoilers #i'm trying to find the leg but eugh. #there's like no good way to get to pebbles i swear #SC is a lot better now that i know what i'm doing though

[elegyofthemoon]

also did jing yuan not sell well where the heck did his rerun go why are we on blade and kafka's...

#snow plays hsr #I'M JUST ASKING NOT BC I WANT HIM #i was just like 'huh. wAIT A FUCKING SECOND THAT MEANS IL RERUN SOON THEN? #well so much for trying to get any new characters #i mightve tried to get ruan mei bc i think shes pretty (also the bio references got me intrigued) #but sighs #oh this fuckers going to eat all my stellar jades (dan heng)... stop it.... #other news: they revealed sunday's voice aND I SWEAR I HAVE HEARD THIS VOICE BEFORE #IT IS PAINING ME THAT I CANNOT TELL WHO IT IS.... #moment he spoke i was like 'ohhh.... oh i am so fucked lmao' #i cant tell who.... its bugging me and i'm going to have to put his voice on repeat now to figure it out and slowly go insane by doing so #if anyone has an idea who the va might be...please. #eugh. and now i have to go back and write. and clean. i feel so dead adsjfasljh #nvm i think im just gonna go shower and rest in bed i shouldnt push myself and should get better over the weekend orz

[irhabiya]

today sucked the life out of me ya Allah

#nothing particularly happened #well actually multiple things happened but none of them are that big of a deal im just tired #yesterday the ppt file for my presentation corrupted as i was finishing it :') didn't have autosave on :')) #had to redo the entire thing from scratch. i was working on it all week too for god's sake #finished by like 4am today and i had to be up by 8 for uni so i barely slept #the presentation was fine i think given i had to do everything again last minute but ik the original version was better #my blood pressure was through the roof the entire day for some reason. felt my pulse in my head for the whole day #fitting because our pbl case this week was about hypertension😭 #called my dad to make sure he went to get his meds renewed... #i'm really worried about him he refused to go to the doctor again aslan but i sat him down and we had a long talk about it #alhamdulillah he agreed to go. only for them not to have his diabetes meds in stock💀 bas ya3ni it's good that he went anyway #my mom is a different story she's so stubborn i swear #had an argument with her today about letting me work again to lift a bit of the workload off her since money is still so tight #and she got pissed at me #so now im tired unrested have a migraine and my mom is mad at me what a day bgad #ya Allah

[yuriyuruandyuraart]

YOU BEAT ME TO IT.

I WAS WORKING UP THE COURAGE TO SEND YOU AND ASK AND YOU TOTALLY STOLE MY THUNDER /J

ANYWAYS! I'm glad you liked the gift! I hope you have a lovely day because YOU DESERVE IT! YOU SWEET KIND WONDERFUL PERSON YOU!!!! RAAAAAAA

TEARING UP RN i wrote it as SOON as i saw the drawing cause even puking all my mushy sappy rambly tags wasn't ENOUGH OMGGG i can't convey the sheer joy your art brings me let alone FANART dude i'm GHHSGH SO THANKFUL<333333

#ask #MWAHAHA i don't have the patience to wait >:'D #oh i'm having THE best day ever you can't even imagine HHHH #also HFSHGHGH CAN WE TALK ABOUT YOUR DOODLES OMGGGG #i saved all of them but gosh...how do you draw my own SONAS BETTER THAN MEEE HHHH YOU TALENTED SHROOM!!! #fr you DO realize i almost freaked out the first time you reblogged my art?? what do you think i'm feeling NOW #i feel like i'm floating i'm just that giddy hhhh i swear i'm trying to stop smiling but i literally CANT WAHAHGAHG #eating your art istg<33333 #THANK YOU AGAIN and thanks for passing by as well >:'D have a super duper amazing day<33333

[angryducktimemachine]

I want to draw I want to create but alas!!!! No inspiration!!

#I swear if i start this year with the same art block i did last years beginning I'm gonna cry #I should maybe just practice some things but that's unfortunately. so fucking boring. #I'm not!! satisfied with my art and it's making me very angry because i can't pinpoint down what i need to do #to be on better terms with it #like it's not bad art i like what things i draw well enough but rn I'm very grumpy about it >:(( #I'm being very overdramatic here btw i have drawn a few things the past days but now that i have NO ideas/inspiration it #just feels worse shdjsjsjfk #get some rest boy!!!! but I'm unable to do that

[riddlerosehearts]

can i just say that i really. really. as someone who dreams of meeting dante basco and asking him to write "zutara forever" on my ATLA artbook. really do not want them to make zutara canon in the live action because i don't want them to change the series that much + don't wanna deal with the insane brainrotting discourse that would cause lol

#saying this because i'm seeing people go 'omg what if they make zutara canon' again now that there's a teaser #listen ALL i want them to do if they have to make changes #is adjust the canon relationships just ever so slightly in a way that allows me to enjoy them more #and maybe?? give zuko and katara a couple more moments together?? 🥺 #but don't make them canon. whyyyy do people keep saying this omg #there's so much amazing fanfic out there that's better than anything a live action remake could do with them anyway #also as a side note: i have had two separate opportunities to achieve that dream that i missed out on for different reasons #but one day i swear i will do it

[itadore-you]

LIFE UPDATE !! <3

GUYSYSUGYVFUICHJOPSHIGUFYDUIHWOSPCIJOHIGUFYSGUHIJOCD IM GOING TO UNIVERSITY THIS SEPTEMBERRRRRRRRR TO STUDY MEDICINEEEEE

TWO YEARS. TWO YEARS OF PAIN WENT INTO THIS OH MY GODDDDDDD I CANT BELIEVE I MADE IT

I STILL REMEMBER MY GERMAN TEACHERS SAYING NO WHEN I ASKED TO BE PREDICTED A*. I REMEMBER GETTING B IN MY BIOLOGY END OF YEAR AND CRYING MY EYES OUT THINKING I COULDNT APPLY ANYMORE. I REMEMBER THE DISAPPOINTMENT EVERY SINGLE TIME I PUSHED HARD FOR CHEMISTRY BUT DIDNT PUSH HARD ENOUGH NONE OF IT MATTERS ANYMORE IM FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

#in case u guy s wanna know i got A* in german A in bio & chem AND I WAS TWO MARKS OFF BIOLOGY A* BTW #I CANT BELIEVE MY DUMBASS SOMEHOW MANAGED TO PULL THIS OFF #7 marks off chem A* LIKE maybe I'm not the dumbest person in the world #spent yesterday drawing and playing fortnite afterwards bc I didn't know what to do with myself JODIUYGFUGHIAJOIHG #BTW I GOT FULL MARKS IN MY GERMAN WRITING PAPER I AM NEVER LETTING GO OF THIS MY TEACHERS THOUGHT I WAS SO SHIT AT ESSAYS OMG #i have NEVER loved der besuch der alten dame so much #and maybe das leben der anderen is a better film than i give it credit for #i used to hate biology with my life BUT SHOUTOUT MY STUDY GROUP AND MY BIO WIFE THEY SAVED ME I SWEAR #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH #im gonna start studying more grammar + listening to more german music + learning more vocab bc i REFUSE to let that language go now. lmao #life update #aaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa #i ll prob edit this later bc i said so much ahhaah

[wr0ngwarp]

um. uh. hi every body. something evil and malevolent happened in my brain this month.

this is. um. a Jet Set Radio/Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Death joke AU, spawned out of a in-joke that started in a pokepasta discord. my apologies to both the pokepasta and jsr fandoms

the entire basis is the idea that Corn in Future retconned og JSR Beat as leader/founder of the GGs (is beat being leader in the og even CANON?) so Corn and Beat are the Myras. no it's not a joke funny enough to justify how many hours i sunk into drawing these. no attempt was made to change the setting, assign most of the other cast, or otherwise make this au hold up to ANY amount of scrutiny. if i tried to make this actually work somehow then i'd REALLY end up too far gone. also i keep calling myrtle!beat "Meat".

MEANWHILE, IN A BETTER UNIVERSE:,

#jet set radio #pokepasta #creepypasta #jsr #explorers of death #pokemon #crossover #gore #body horror #blood #ask to tag #long post #jsr eod #also i said ''i didnt assign almost anyone else'' but thats not entirely true. #i did assign dj professor k as wigglytuff. but i decided i needed to draw a line in the sand somewhere #and drawing dj k as eod!wigglytuff is simply too much. some mental images really DONT need to be inflicted on others #i also thought about who would be grovyle and ended up leaning towards combo #i sort of think of him as having protagonist swag about him bc of chapter 2 in teh first game. #also i have a running joke w my sibling about combo being meta-aware bc of a jp-only line he has in future #where he tells roboy he wants to save. #i swear to god i had more reasoning than this but my mind is drawing a blank rn. sad #also i guess this would imply that cube and coin would be celebi and dusknoir but theyre not even in explorers of death so RIP #i did also briefly consider clutch as grovyle bc 1. stealing things lol and 2. joke about him being future-exclusive #and grovyle is FROM DA FUTURE... but frankly clutch does not feel like he could pull off being grovyle. in my opinion. #also i guess sitting here now i suppose it wouldnt even make sense in the context of the eod au cuz everyone but the main trio is og jsr #on that note. i had no idea what to do for gum's design so i chose the most awkward route possible i guess. im sorry gum. #in general gum kinda got the short end of the stick here due to being consistently the Second-in-Command meaning she's shadow #I'M SORRY WOMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #well at least she's better off than yoyo. me n my sibling just automatically were like ''he's bidoof'' ''yeah he's bidoof'' #also like last note. but. the jet set radio fandom is SEVERELY lacking cliche edgy over the top evil creepypasta versions of the cast