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art-of-firefly · 3 months

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Character ask game: all numbers for your favorite character!! 👀 Please elaborate as much as you want to! 🤍

Thank you for this opportunity ❤️ Be ready for a very long post because i have things to say about Akashi ! I already answered 2, 5 and 9 here and 23 and 25 here. So for these questions i'll do it with Nijimura instead.

Akashi

1. Why do you like or dislike this character?

In short i like him for everything and i dislike nothing about him.

But i'll just take a second to talk about one random thing i like. Bokushi's goal being to protect Oreshi and to stand up for him when he can't do it himself is something I find really touching. Bokushi has helped Oreshi in more ways than one, and yes, he has made some mistakes too, but he is only a teenager and, contrary to what he desperately hopes and thinks he should be, he is not absolute.

3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?

The scene where he attacked Kagami with scissors. It was just a shock scene for shock value and added nothing to the story. Like we know, Akashi is the final boss so he must be intimidating but it really wasn't necessary. Especially because now every anime-only thinks Akashi really intended to cut him when it was clear he knew and saw from the start that Kagami would dodge.

EDIT : My reason for hating this scene was perfectly summed up here so quick edit to add it

4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?

Monkey D Luffy for One piece. For one they are my two favorite characters ever. But also i think Luffy would have an incredibly good influence on Akashi and on his mental health. In a way, meeting Luffy who is literally the center of the world and whose life and every decision actually has an incredible impact on the entire world would be therapeutic for Akashi. It would help him realize that his decision, and his mistakes aren't that important in the grand scheme of things.

They also have a lot in common, they are about the same age and height, their color is red,what's matter the most to them is their friends, they are both captains and have a lot of responsibilities.

6. What's something you have in common with this character?

I sincerely believe that he is on the aroace spectrum, more specifically demiromantic and demisexual (and probably pan too).

7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

The nicknames Bokushi and Oreshi, like that's absolutely adorable to give him a nickname depending on the pronoun he uses. And it makes discussions easier because saying 'you know that time when golden-eye-Akashi said to two-red-eyes Akashi-' would get tiring really fast

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

The demonization of mental illness, calling him a psycho, calling him crazy etc. This is both a big misinterpretation of his character and really insulting for real people with mental illness.

10. Could you be best friends with this character?

Maybe ? I don't really know, I don't remember my teenage years very well for reasons, so I don't know if our personalities would have been very compatible?

11. Would you date this character?

Big No. He is like 16, I'm almost ten year older. I'd rather adopt him. I don't want kids but i'll make an exception for him, give me the adoption papers. I'll probably be a terrible parent but i'll still do better than Masaomi.

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

He gets headaches a lot, it's a consequence of using his emperor eye, plus the overwork. He's often shown only closing one eye in cannon and it's something I usually do when I have headaches, so it fuels my headcanon.

Also think about it, The GoM greatness weakness is that their body can't keep up with their abilities. We've seen what it does to others but we've never seen AKashi get hurt. If the consequence for Akashi is headaches, then it all fits together perfectly.

Look at him and tell me this kid isn't trying really hard to fight a headache while is friends argue right beside him.

13. What's an emoji, an emoticon and/or any symbol that reminds you of this character or you think the character would use a lot?

🥰

14. Assign a fashion aesthetic to this character.

What the kids call "Dark Academia" nowadays

15. What's your favorite ship for this character? (Doesn't matter if it's canon or not.)

NijiAka, in a way Nijimura remind Akashi of his humanity, and allows him to be a normal teenager even if only for a little while. He is the first person to treat Akashi like a normal teenager, the first person Akashi can rely on and look up to. And in return Nijimura believes so much in him.

Nijimura and Midorima were the first characters to notice there was two Akashi. Which shows that he truly paid attention to him and also that Akashi was comfortable enough with him to let his other personality slips sometimes when they were alone together.

The scene in the CD drama where Nijimura decided to treat Akashi to his very first after school snack lives rent free in my head.

I could talk at length about Nijika but I don't want to hijack this post with an essay on Nijika's perfection. I'll talk about it in another post another time.

16. What's your least favorite ship for this character?

AkaKuro, listen Akashi and Kuroko's friendship is so incredibly beautiful and important. I love their bond and it's very precious to me. But i don't like them as a ship at all, because in a way it simplifies and justifies all the trust, care and affection they have for each other with "it's because they are in love".

They don't need to be in love to be so important to each other,, on the contrary the fact that all their love comes from friendship makes it even better.

Being in a relationship, romantic, queer platonic or literally anything else, couldn't top what they have now, it wouldn't improve it, it wouldn't bring anything better to their lives.

17. What's a ship for this character you don't hate but it's not your favorite that you're fine with?

None, there are two Akashi ships I don't like, AkaKuro and AkaFuri (yes, the two most popular Akashi ships, don't send hate) But I like all his other ships.

18. How about a relationship they have in canon with another character that you admire?

Once again Nijimura. But for diversity sake i'll go with Murasakibara instead because i don't talk about them enough. I think their friendship is very underrated and adorable.

Akashi spoils Murasakiabara all the time. He won many competitions at the Teiko school festival and the summer festival, each time he gave all his prizes to Murasakibara. Both times, Murasakibara knew in advance and had no doubt that Akashi would win it all. In official art, Akashi even gave him his Valentine's Day chocolates.

In every situation Murasakibara listen to Akashi and hold his opinion above all else, even his own team and coach.

And remember when Murasakibara was studying with his team in the CD Drama, he started talking about Akashi, his perfect grades, how he taught him his study method and how he created the most delicious snack he ever eat ? (Snack Akashi created because he overheard Murasakibara complaining that a special snack he liked was no longer available so he decided he had to create a new recipe from scratch and prepare it for him.)

Murasakibara opinion of Akashi is extremely important for the latter, Murasakibara's tantrum was what causes Oreshi to switch with Bokushi. After the Winter Cup Murasakibara had an argument with his team and the person he called was Akashi. And when Murasakibara got angry at him, Akashi start to panic and he asked the Uncrowned Kings for help because Murasakibara being upset at him was too much to handle.

In short Akashi clearly has a very big weak spot for Murasakibara and while it seems he has him wrapped around his finger, when you look closely it's obvious the reverse is also true. Murasakibara's loyalty and friendship is a very strong pillar in Akashi's life, they support and complete each other very well.

19. How about a relationship they have in canon that you don't like?

His relationship with his father. For very obvious reasons.

But I also think that Masaomi Akashi truly believes that the way he raises Seijuro is what's best for him. If Shiori was still alive, they would have had a chance to be a happy family. He's an emotionally abusive and neglectful father, but I think he really cares about Seijuro and thinks he's raising him in the best way possible.

This, of course, does not excuse any of his actions, he does not deserve to have and raise a child and Seijuro would have every right to cut all ties with him. But just saying Masaomi is just evil is too easy.

I think with time their relationship will improve. They will never truly be father and children, but they could achieve a stable relationship of equals once Akashi is an adult.

20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn't matter?

I think Akashi needs more than one best friends, but the GoM and Rakuzan as a whole is perfect for him.

22. If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to the character? Something you don't like?

Sorry, this is going to sound really vague, but what I like and don't like depends on how the author characterizes him. But I'll be honest with you, since a lot of what I've seen demonizes him and I don't like his two most popular ships, I don't usually read fanfiction about him unless someone recommended it to me.

24. What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them?

Shisui Uchiha from Naruto. Two burned out child genius with incredible eyes abilities. Akashi even threatened to gouge out his eyes at some point and Shisui actually did it. They both were very talented and smart from a young age and more and more responsibilities were pushed unto them until it was too much. Also they are the same age (at the end of KnB and when Shisui dies)

26. FREEBIE QUESTION!!

I'm just going to use this to write another headcanon. And while all the other things I've written are heavily canon-based, this one is a bit more of an extrapolation, but since I'm interpreting him that way I might as well share it too.

Akashi has some dissociation issues with his own body. What brings it up you might ask. This screenshot is what started this whole train of thoughts for me and it escalate from there.

Notice how he still has long bangs in his head? Of course, he only cut them a few days ago, so maybe he's not used to it yet, but his dissociation from his own body may also play a role here.

I think his relationship with his body is very complicated, the way he act, overwork himself and such, it's like he doesn't sees it as himself but as a toll he has at his disposal, a puppet he can move a will.

Remember how unfazed he was about gouging out his eyes if they lost. Like “if my body is no longer useful, why keep it intact? »

And since I'm talking about how he views his body, he would also avoid mirrors as much as he can, but not for the same reason. I think he looks a lot like his mother and if he ever let his hair grow he could pass off as her, and he probably spends an unhealthy amount of time wondering if his father wouldn't be so distant if looking at him didn't immediately reminded him of his late wife.

Nijimura

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

How dedicated and caring he is,

In his Kuro fes interview he even said the things he is most proud of is his ability to take care of other, and his favorite memory from Teiko was "The second year you guys entered, when we won at the Nationals that would be my last. I was mostly on the bench, but I felt like I passed the baton on, and somehow I was happier than the previous year" He is such a sweetheart, i melt everytime i think about it.

What he like to do in his free time is visiting his father at the hospital, please send help my heart can't handle so much adorableness.

And he was such a great senpai for all the GoM. His smile in Extra game when Kiyoshi showed him the picture of them after their victory, he was so happy to see them friends and close again.

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

It's hard to pick one, i have multiple songs i associate with him but none stands out as The First One among them.

Maybe because of the duality of his personality and temper. Like he is caring, devoted and hardworking but he also has an explosive temper and go into fights all the time which is one of the things he want to change about himself.

So i'll go with Anger by Sleeping at Last because it illustrate very well his temper and the way he feels about it.

youtube

Also it's one of my favorite song and the one i listened to the most in 2023 and 2024

9. Could you be roommates with this character?

Obligatory 'i can't imagine myself with a roommates as i am right now but for the sake of answering let's pretend i can'.

Yes, he is an older sibling and he has great self-discipline so he probably handles household chores very well. And I also like his personality. But he better not come home covered in blood after a fight every week because that would get annoying real quick.

23. Favorite picture of this character?

Once again i restricted myself at pictures drawn by Fujimaki-sensei.

Look at him with his rainbow wristband, i bet the GoM gifted it to him

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

It was so long ago that I don't remember it well. But I know I liked him and I vividly remember cheering when he beat Haizaki up for skipping a match and dragged him onto the court to play the second match.

Now he's one of my favorite characters, and he definitely ranks high among my favorites.

#i'm always ready to talk about them so thank you so much for this ask #i tried not to make it too long but it's still pretty long #sorry #akashi seijuro #nijimura shuzo #kuroko's basketball #knb #akashi seijuurou #nijimura shuuzou #kuroko no basuke #ask game #nijiaka #muraaka #kuroko no basket

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ystrike1 · 1 year

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Love In Training: The Wolf And The Kitten - Makihara Maki (8/10)

This made me angry, which is good. That's how you're supposed to feel. This is a highly toxic age gap story, about an insecure older man with tons of fetishes, and his young coworker. Who is his subordinate. Who happens to be twelve years younger than him. He has no confidence in himself, so he guilt trips her into putting up with his deep-rooted insecurities.

Seiji Kurama is 35. Miyuki is 23, and she doesn't know her romantic meet cute with Seiji was planned by him. When another worker got sick he decided to bring her on a work trip with him instead. They end up staying in the same hotel room, and Miyuki confesses.

Miyuki does have an actual crush on him. She likes mature men, but she wasn't going to confess. She knows they're coworkers with a pretty big age gap, and he's her superior.

He flirts with her during the trip.

He acts cute on purpose.

Her feelings explode and she says she wants to date.

His flowery flirting has alot of thorns in it. Seiji was abandoned by his mother. His dad's dead too, so he's immature and possessive. He likes to tie his girlfriends up. His previous girlfriends all left because they smelled his bullshit.

Miyuki is literally too young to see what he's doing. Seiji ENCOURAGES another man. He tells that man to confess to Miyuki, just so he can make her feel guilty with more sob stories. He uses the other man as an excuse to be more possessive.

You're popular so you have to let me leave my mark on you etc...

Exhibit B

This is manipulation.

It is gaslighting.

Only the reader knows his sad sack persona is planned.

He is never his true self with Miyuki.

His insecurities are very real though. Seiji is annoying on the inside, and a little sexist. His gentleman act is covering up alot of bad qualities.

He's going to use children, and pregnancy to tie her to him. He wants to have kids with her just to stop her from divorcing him. He doesn't even seem excited about having a baby. A baby is just a tool. A part of his plan.

I think he'll like his kid(s), but deep down he will always know why he wanted said kid.

It's...weird.

Here comes the weird sexist virginity fetish. It's very common in lots of toxic stories. Miyuki is a good girl and he's corrupting her etc...

The funny thing is Miyuki enjoys being tied up. She enjoys sadism etc, but Seiji still sees her as pure and innocent...even though she's enthusiastic.

It's strange.

He just won't accept that she actually loves him.

Her childhood friend has a brain, but he backs off. Miyuki is happy. He doesn't want to ruin that.

Her parents approve. Seiji wins. He used his position to get closer to Miyuki. He used his other employees like toys to make her choose him again and again. His jealous fits don't even make sense, but he covers up his irrational crap with a gentle smile.

This is the kind of guy you DON'T want to marry, but Miyuki doesn't know that.

I'm not saying Seiji doesn't have good points...but he's right.

Miyuki would never marry him if she knew everything.

#yandere #male yandere #yandere male #yandere boy #recommendations #recs #rec #recommended #Love In Training: The Wolf And The Kitten

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jorisjurgen · 29 days

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1 2 7 11 12 14 17 21 23(im evil) 28 29 (im eviller) 31 33 34 41 42 (for funsies) 43 (im EVIL) 45 56 56 56 56 56

I FINALLY GOT TO YOUR MESSAGE BESTIEEEE i was scared of answering it during the week because i knew it would take me ages.

Excluding the questions I've answered to other ppl, obv. THIS IS JUST A PART 1 OF ALL YOUR QUESTIONS.

What’s the lie your character says most often?

Atcham: he doesn't really lie enough to have a reoccuring one. He just says whatever comes to his mind, I think. Kerubim: literally everything he says is a lie. Especially when talking about past events. He will randomly make shit up, even while knowing that the other two KNOW that he's doing that. Joris: "I am in awe of your intelligence, your majesty. This will be a wonderful move, even if it may upset the leaders of Brakmar."

How loosely or strictly do they use the word ‘friend’?

Atcham: he doesn't, except for saying it ironically. Kerubim: anyone he's known for longer than an hour. Joris: likely to apply this word to people with whom he shared 2 near-death experiences with, because now they are connected through the Cosmic Bonds of Fate.

What would you (mun) yell in the middle of a crowd to find them? What would their best friend and/or romantic partner yell?

I'm not imaginative enough to say what I would yell, but I know what they'd yell to one another.

Atcham: "Someone is mistreating Brakmarian steel swords" Kerubim: "There are discount 90yo chairs here" Joris: "Khan merch from 200 years ago?!"

All of them love buying stuff, so yeah.

If someone was impersonating them, what would friends / family ask or do to tell the difference?

Atcham: any specific-ass sword facts. Kerubim: what were you doing in Bonta 610 years ago in a boutique with your girlfriend at 10 o'clock and what colour was her dress. Joris: what time he worked until last night. Any answer that isn't "3-4am" is sus.

A more emotional answer is that across 600 years they probably have got a lot of some very hyperspecific things to ask one another.

How do they put out a candle?

Sadly, I think they all just blow on it. Maybe clap and then it magically disappears. I am not a candle expert (candxpert).

What do they notice first in the mirror versus what most people first notice looking at them?

Atcham: most people notice he's bald. he, too, notices that, and never fails to think that it's off-putting. Kerubim: most people noitce how fluffy he is. Kerubim himself notices some random knots in his fur. It's very knot-prone, and he's a bit lazy about brushing his fur. Joris: most people think he's a child, or if they don't they still notice his height. While Joris's daily concern with the mirror is "do I need to tear out some new scales? [checks chin] [checks neck] [checks cheeks] [checks his head]"

What common etiquette do they disagree with? Do they still follow it?

Atcham: all of it, and no, he doesn't. Kerubim: I don't think he gives a fuck in general. Joris: all of it, yet he still follows. He hates hierarchical things, and he hates hyper specific fork and knife rules, and he hates the way teachers expect children to rise from their tables and bow and greet them, before the classes. But he copes and seethes silently, his whole life. He appreciates the way these things make him come off as more respectable than he may really be, though.

If invited to a TED Talk, what topic would they present on? What would the title of their presentation be?

Atcham: the Brakmarian approach to building pipe bom—— Kerubim: how to survive your 5th divorce. Joris: why you don't need any relationships or friendly acquaintances outside your family and why that's healthy actually.

What’s something unimportant / frivolous that they hate passionately?

Atcham: Kerubim's tolerance of customers that can be psychologically destroyed instead. Kerubim: Atcham keeps scaring away the customers (Joris does too, but it's a "his noble X vs. Atcham's barbaric Y" situation.) Joris: Kerubim keeps adding way too much sugar to coffee and makes tea way too dilute. It makes him dream of killing both him and himself.

#ask games #crepinposting #ro.txt

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enbymoomin · 4 months

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Shows I Watched in 2023: Ranked!

Like last year, I'm deciding to keep up the tradition and rank all the shows I watched in 2023 for my own personal recommendations and for fun ;) This year, I watched 23 shows in 2023, by sheer chance, I swear.

I will again be ranking my list by scoring each show out of 5 in three categories: Blorboness (how blorbable the characters are, how much they rotate through my mind), Quality (execution, narrative elements), and Enjoyability (including and especially rewatchability). The three scores will then be totaled for a final score out of 15. Let's go, 2023 list!

1. 3 Will Be Free (2019) - 15 pts

Blorboness: 5

Quality: 5

Enjoyability: 5

Comment: Won a place in my top shows of all time, third only to Black Sails (forever #1) and KinnPorsche in second place. Literally no other shows are on this list. The representation of the fluidity of sexuality and queerness, challenging amatonormativity, the queer m/f friendships, and poly rep in this show gave 3WBF a special place in my heart >>>>>

2. One Piece (2023) - 15 pts

Blorboness: 5

Quality: 5

Enjoyability: 5

Comment: This one snuck up on me out of nowhere! I wasn't expecting to like this as much as I did but I wanted to give this pirate show a try, especially since they used the same sets as Black Sails in South Africa. A simply fantastic show all around, and I can't wait to follow the live action as it develops!

3. Shadow and Bone Season 2 (2023) - 14 pts

Blorboness: 5

Quality: 4

Enjoyability: 5

Comment: Fuck Netflix. S&B and the Crows deserved so much better <3333

4. Derry Girls (2018-22) - 14 pts

Blorboness: 4.5

Quality: 5

Enjoyability: 4.5

5. Scott Pilgrim Takes Off (2023) - 14 pts

Blorboness: 4

Quality: 5

Enjoyability: 5

Rest under the cut!

6. Moonlight Chicken (2023) - 13.5 pts

Blorboness: 3.5

Quality: 5

Enjoyability: 5

7. Only Friends (2023) - 13.5 pts

Blorboness: 4

Quality: 4.5

Enjoyability: 5

Comment: I feel like people hated on this show too much for not living up to whatever they had hyped it up to be in their head. There WAS a lot of mess (loved it!) but the characters were also treated like real people rather than nonstop Pretty Little Liars-level drama. This show was actually really good and I had fun watching :))

8. Over the Garden Wall (2014) - 12.5 pts

Blorboness: 3

Quality: 5

Enjoyability: 4.5

Comment: This will become an annual watch for me 🍂

9. The Eclipse (2022) - 12.5 pts

Blorboness: 3

Quality: 5

Enjoyability: 4.5

10. Bed Friend (2023) - 12 pts

Blorboness: 3.5

Quality: 4

Enjoyability: 4.5

11. Bridgerton Season 2 (2022) - 12 pts

Blorboness: 3

Quality: 5

Enjoyability: 4

12. Good Omens Season 2 (2023) - 12 pts

Blorboness: 4

Quality: 4

Enjoyability: 4

13. Shadowhunters (2016-19) (rewatch) - 11.5 pts

Blorboness: 4

Quality: 3.5

Enjoyability: 4

Comment: Okay so I haven't seen this show in like four years so that's why it's on the list even though it's a rewatch since I basically watched with fresh eyes. It's better than I remembered when I was a teen but I think that's because I'm not a book purist anymore and thank fucking god for that. It was fun! I realize in hindsight how revolutionary the queer rep was when it first aired, even though it was still 2016-2019. Some of the plot changes and show-original arcs were a little strange but for the most part I liked them!

14. 911 Lone Star (2020-) - 11.5 pts

Blorboness: 3.5

Quality: 4

Enjoyability: 4

15. Heartstopper Season 2 (2023) - 11 pts

Blorboness: 2

Quality: 5

Enjoyability: 4

16. The Gilded Age Season 2 (2023) - 11 pts

Blorboness: 3

Quality: 4

Enjoyability: 4

17. What We Do In The Shadows Season 5 (2023) - 10.5 pts

Blorboness: 3

Quality: 3.5

Enjoyability: 4

18. Never Have I Ever Season 4 (2023) - 10 pts

Blorboness: 2

Quality: 4

Enjoyability: 4

19. Queen Charlotte: A Bridgerton Story (2023) - 10 pts

Blorboness: 2

Quality: 4

Enjoyability: 4

Comment: Okay it was a really good show, but as an American I just can't blorbify any English monarchs, let alone King George the fucking III 💀💀

20. Not Me (2020) - 9 pts

Blorboness: 2.5

Quality: 3.5

Enjoyability: 3

Comment: LMAO so I watched this because two of my friends in the KinnPorsche fandom were giving me feedback on this paper for uni doing a queer theory/film studies analysis of KPTS and both of them independently said that I should watch Not Me because it was relevant to my argument, so this was my assigned reading xD I really liked it, but the second half of the show was much stronger than the first half for me. Also really fascinating in context of the pro-democracy protests happening in Thailand in 2020 and then Not Me airing in 2021; although it wasn't my favorite QL I've seen, I've got mad respect for it 🫡

21. Spartacus (2010-13) (rewatch) - 9 pts

Blorboness: 2

Quality: 4

Enjoyability: 3

Comment: This is another rewatch because I was DEFINITELY too young when I watched this the first time like five years ago since I pretty much dissociated the entire time, and I wanted to see if it was really that bad or if I was just, y'know, too young. In hindsight, it actually really was quite gratuitous with the sex and violence (and sexual violence) which lowered its enjoyability score, but it was a really thought-provoking and otherwise well-executed show in terms of themes and narrative. I'll still have to get around to posting my Spartacus-Black Sails-Hunger Games meta analysis some day 👀

22. Wedding Plan the Series - 8.5 pts

Blorboness: 2

Quality: 3

Enjoyability: 3

Comment: I'm sorry but I just can't stand this type of incompetence/manufactured stupid obstacles. Yiwa and Marine are queens, Nuea is understandable, but Sailom, get it together my guy. However, I did really appreciate the queer commentary and I totally dig the mlm/wlw friendships <3

23. Our Flag Means Death Season 2 - 8 pts

Blorboness: 2

Quality: 3

Enjoyability: 3

Comment: I feel like the show didn't really know what genre it was trying to be anymore. I thought y'all were exaggerating when it first came out, but I kind of see your point now. My enjoyment was also tainted by the pirate battle wars (iykyk) and also more importantly Taika Waititi literally firing pro-Palestine actors. Probably not going to watch S3 :(

And last but not least,

SPECIAL HONORARY MENTION:

Percy Jackson and the Olympians (2023-) - 15 pts

Blorboness: 5

Quality: 5

Enjoyability: 5

Comment: PJO isn't officially ranked in my 2023 list because it's not done airing yet, but it WILL be ranked in 2024 when the season is completed. (I learned my lesson with Gap the Series last year when the second half of the show went sharply downhill after the new year :( but I have strong hopes for PJO!) So far, the show is fucking amazing, and I have faith that Jon Steinberg, Dan Shotz, Bear McCreary, Daphne Olive, Toby Stephens, Jessica Parker Kennedy, and Nick Boraine will continue to serve eat and leave no crumbs in 2024. Black Sails, KPTS, and 3WBF my beloveds may have some new company next year 👀

That's that for my 2023, and making this was just as much fun as last year! Surprisingly, no show this year scored a 1, a 0, or negative points in any categories, so good on them (or for me) xD Shout out to all the Tumblr gif makers who convinced me to watch these shows, y'all are more powerful than any marketing department. And @ anybody please feel free to drop into my ask box or messages about any of these shows or with any recs of your own 🙏💕

Happy new year!

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mirror-and-adapt · 1 month

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You know what, I thought that wearing those old jeans that I couldn't fit in properly would be a great reward for reaching a specific weight goal.

I tried them on today to see how much more I need to lose to be able to wear them, and they were just fine - turns out I can already go out wearing them. I should be happy, right? "I can wear my old jeans, I'm back!". That should have happened. And sure, I felt glad that my restriction is working and I'm getting smaller.

But I changed to sweatpants that are loose, went to the living room and sat there for a moment. I realised that I don't want anybody to look at my body, no matter what weight I am. I don't want to wear tight clothes.

When I first lost a huge amount of weight when I was 15, I was basically only buying clothes that tightly fit my body, as some sort of a reward, or a showoff. "Look how well she's doing", I think that's what my mother was trying to scream at the top of her lungs when she was looking at me being able to fit into a size smaller than from a month before. I basically had to buy new jeans and t-shirts and blouses and shirts at least every two month, which my mother was very insisting to buy, and they always had to be the skinny jeans and those very short-sleeved t-shirts, and shape accentuating blouses and barely fitting shirts. It was the only thing I knew, you know. Even from before, before I started losing weight.

When I was obse as a child and young teenager I could only ever buy clothes that were available in my size, and the choice was a lot of times limited, and it was already humiliating to buy clothes that were plus size, so it was the best if the clothes I buy were the smallest plus size option that I could fit in. When I was getting smaller, it seems this rule kinda stayed relevant throughout the weight loss journey back then. I only ever knew tight clothes.

But then suddenly everything was available to me, in any size I could desire, so my mother and I, I guess in a way we didn't know what to do with that freedom and overwhelming amount of options I had, so the clothes were mostly the ones that were the most stylish or popular at that time, and what we saw people my age wearing. Due to the previous limited choice in clothing, I had no personal style, I didn't even know it was a thing I could have.

And due to the very tight clothes, everybody could always say whether or not I was making progress. Which was weird, especially when it was the teachers, bus helpers, or friends' parents that were approaching and congratulating me.

But I'm not 15 anymore. I'm not skinny either. The weight loss from that time is irrelevant. People are no longer giving me compliments, and to be honest, I would hate them to do so. I feel like I would get so mad if anyone even hinted at that. Just furious.

Neither am I 18, the age I was when I bought the old jeans I tried on today. And even though I can fit in them, I don't feel the joy I thought I would feel "to be back".

I have been struggling with eating disorders for more than 10 years.

And I'm literally 23 now.

I think what I'm trying to say is, I don't want to live in the past. I don't want to stay there. I don't want to live by the rules from the past just because they were important back then. I don't want to accept what I was accepting of before because it seemed like a default and therefore alright.

I want to change too. Despite.

I don't have to go back to wearing tight clothes just because it feels right. Just because it feels nice to be able to wear a size smaller than two weeks ago. Especially of a pair of jeans that once fit me and then didn't, and now they do again, after literal years. I mean, it feels amazing and rewarding and god, just the best. But I don't want others to see my body. To judge it because they can oh so clearly see what the tight clothes hide underneath. I don't want to always be compared to whatever the hell I looked like when I was 12 while obese, 15 while the skinniest I've ever been, 18 - when I gained it all back, and 22 - when I gained even more and became the heaviest I've ever been; hell, compared to how I looked like a month ago. And I know I do that to myself, and I'll always do that because I cannot stop grieving for the body I lost, and I want it back and I want more, but at the same time I cannot stop grieving for the little girl, the teenage girl, the young adult me that had to deal with so much comparing and judging that it altered her life forever with consequences catching up to this day, that will probably never stop.

I know this long ass stupid rant is basically me saying that I don't want to wear those old jeans anymore because I am not who I was when I bought them and I can change. Maybe it's a matter of the style of the jeans or being pissed at a piece of clothing because I have to lose all that weight again to get anywhere and allow myself to live.

Or maybe it's me not wanting to live in the past, and just maybe, I didn't like it back then either, and I just didn't know it was even a possibility to choose something else.

Well. Maybe I can now.

It seems stupid to write all this because of one pair of jeans. But behind this pair of jeans is a life of conditioning that I am not so okay with anymore, I think.

It doesn't change anything about my eating disorder, or the way I'm gonna go about the weight loss. Eds and my weight are not the only things I struggle with, my life seems to be full of nothing at this point, and coming back to life after isolating myself for years mostly due to my weight, the shame regarding it, and hating myself, is really hard. But I think... this realization feels like freedom. I feel more free after trying on the jeans and realising that I might not like them anymore. Deciding that I won't wear them today just because they fit me. Sure, maybe it's a part of growing up, or even, I don't know, subconsciously having some vague idea of my personal style, but to me it's so much more. Maybe I can do well with the weight loss not only to be able to live A life. Perhaps a life I once knew. But maybe, to live a life I WANT. My life. Actually my life, not some default I was taught and had to comply and accept it all because I didn't know anything else, any better. And maybe I want it to look completely different than I once anticipated.

So maybe for once, me not being able to know what awaits me and what I'll like, what I'll choose when I allow myself to actually choose, try things out instead of sticking to the only thing I know, to change into the person I actually am or could become, instead of who I was when I didn't know I could be something else, more, is okay. More than okay.

#fat ana

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staytinys · 1 year

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My “Get to Know ATEEZ”

Requested by a new anon Atiny: Hellooo! I'm a new atiny and I was wondering if you could help me get to know the boys a bit, I mean if you could describe them in a few words, what you think about them. I'm also curious who are the trouble makers and who are the mom and dad of the group who keep them in check. Thank you! This is gonna be a some of my opinion since they asked me to describe them. If you disagree, please do so kindly.

This is not a recent picture, I just think it’s cute as fuck.

ATEEZ is an 8 member group that debuted on October 24th, 2018 under KQ Entertainment which is a pretty small company. From what I’ve seen, KQ has been amazing to the boys and I love them. I’ve been a fan since shortly before their debut. Like I literally found them a week before they debuted😂.

Debut songs: Pirate King and Treasure

So before they debuted, they were called KQ Fellaz. Currently, there is a KQ Fellaz 2 group and they’re amazing. Definitely check them out. They opened for ATEEZ this tour and I’m just amazed. Yes, I went to the concert this past month. Yes I went to the rescheduled one earlier this year too. I waited too long to see them.

Fandom name is ATINY: it’s ATEEZ and Destiny combined. Light stick is LIGHTINY. There are currently two versions, I have the second one.

Anyway, back to ATEEZ, here are some MUST SEE KQ Fellaz Content, I still go back and watch them:

Performance Video I

Performance Video II

Performance Video III

Yunho Solo Performance

KQ Fellaz - From (they performed it at their concert and I cried)

Any of the KQ Fellaz Episodes, here’s episode 1

Bonuses:

Demon line: Hongjoong, Seonghwa, San

Now onto each individual:

Captain (Leader if the group) Kim Hongjoong

Rapper and composer

November 7th, 1998

Dad of the group. I feel like 90% of the time he’s a single dad, 10% he has Seonghwa’s help.

One of the best leaders in kpop hands down.

He has an older brother.

He was the first to join KQ.

The laughs in the songs… yeah. That’s him

POSSESSIVE AS HELL OF ATINY. When I went to the concert back in January, he told us we weren’t allowed to listen to anyone but ATEEZ.

He’s my original bias. Please don’t tell him I strayed…

Please listen to this David Bowie cover

INFP-A (yes I’m looking this up bc it matters)

Visual and Vocalist, Park Seonghwa

Oldest member, April 3, 1998.

You honestly wouldn’t think he’s the oldest…

Has an older brother

Mother of the group. Has a love hate relationship with Hongjoong tbh… Not really, don’t send me hate. Jfc. They’re just old and married (I say as I am the same age…)

You will see him referred to as Mars (his name backwards is Hwaseong and it means mars), toothless, and angry bird.

If I remember correctly, it took him and Hongjoong a while to be as close as they are, but they have such a strong bond now.

Has been in a drama called Imitation… Just look it up.

FLIRT FLIRT FLIRT

HIGH NOTES, such amazing vocal dexterity. Bc he also has a deep voice

ENFJ-T

Performer and Vocalist, Jeong Yunho

March 23, 1999

Six foot, fucking one. Tallest member. Y’all king.

Deep. Fucking. Voice. God kill me.

Block B is one of my favorite groups and they covered Nillili Mambo… but here enjoy our deep voice kings (mingi, Yunho, Yeosang…)

His growl is combined with Mingis in pirate king…

He’s also in Imitation with Seonghwa. 👀 look it up…

A GOLDEN RETRIEVER I SWEAR

Energizer of the group

Has a younger brother

Also is a Harry Potter fan

Um enjoy this

ENFJ-A

Vocalist, visual, and performer, Kang Yeosang

June 15th, 1999

Former BigHit Trainee. Yes he’s friends with TXT.

Wooyoung is his best friend… more on this later. I swear there’s so much jealousy

Has a birthmark on the temple area. He’s so cute. Please look up those pics

An MC for music bank!

An absolute savage. No one can escape him. Please save ATEEZ.

I love him. He’s just… 10/10 would be my best friend. Just saying. If anyone in ateez, it’d be him.

Has a sister

Here’s a video showcasing his… yes.

ISFP-T

Performer and Vocalist, Choi San

July 10th, 1999

His name means mountain

Will make you think unholy thoughts 24/7

He’s a child…

Surprisingly introverted. Before their MBTI, I always thought he was an extrovert

Loves Wooyoung with his whole chest

Shiber. He loves his shiber. I’m pretty sure he has to sleep hugging something so there’s that thought for you

Was also in IMITATION with Yunho and Hwa

Trained in taekwondo. He’s a black belt if I’m not mistaken, I cant remember what degree though

His accent when he speaks English is so cute

HAS A CAT

INFP-T

Performer and Rapper, Song Mingi

August 9th, 1999

Princess Minki

He’s fucking six feet tall

Thighs for days but is insecure so his wardrobe is like 98% baggy pants or loose fitting. (Thiccc too. There’s a tiktok. I’ll find it) found it 😁

Thing 2

FIX ON

Growls with Yunho in the beginning of Pirate King

Pretty sure he and Yunho are platonic soulmates and this

(lowkey certain Yunho is borderline his sugar daddy😂)

Big clingy baby

ENTP-T

Performer and Vocalist, Jung Wooyoung

November 26, 1999

Thing 1… him and mingi together. Boom chaos

He and San are besties

But he and Yeosang… yes. This man legit followed Yeosang when he left BigHit So they could stay together. Just remember that.

Hongjoong’s number one problem child. I promise.

Everything about this man is just chefs kiss

He’s a social butterfly and friends with everyone I swear

He has two brothers!

ENFJ-T

MAIN VOCALIST, performer, fucking love of my life, Choi Jongho

October 12, 2000

I literally love him so much

Maknae

He was in IMITATION

Has a younger brother

STRONG BOY… literally used to break apples in half all the damn time

Can be quite the annoying little brother

Loves his hyungs though… so much

Look at him

I’m literally cryingggg

Be afraid

High notes vs the reactions

ISFP-T

#remi’s 💌#remi’s anon #ateez #ateez san #ateez hongjoong #ateez seonghwa #ateez yunho #ateez yeosang #ateez mingi #ateez wooyoung #ateez jongho

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birdietrait · 11 months

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Sims Tag

tysm for tagging me @avornalino <33 answers under the cut 🕺

1. What’s your favourite sims death? probably old age? i hate when my sims die lol

2. Alpha CC or Maxis Match? i like both! but i'd pick alpha if i had to choose <3

3. Do you cheat when your sims gain weight? never lol...that's weird

4. Do you use move objects? yes!

5. Favorite mod? literally any and every mod by lumpinou tbh! and the childbirth mod by pandasama!

6. First expansion/game/stuff pack you got? get to work!

7. Do you pronounce “live mode” like aLIVE or LIVing? LIVing!!

8. Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made? probably jj <33 my bby girl

9. Have you made a simself? yes! right here lol <3

10. What sim traits do you give yourself? i swear i have a different answer every time lol...but rn i'd say music lover, geek and goofball!

11. Which is your favorite EA hair color? the true black !

12. Favorite EA hair? i don't really use any ea hair, but i do love the bantu knots they added!

13. Favorite life stage? i actually really like the child life stage!

14. Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay? i decorate more than i build, so i'd say gameplay lol <3

15. Are you a CC creator? i have made one recolor of a poster that doesn't look very good, but in the future i would like to try to make more!

16. Do you have any simblr friends/a sim squad? i interact with people but i'm SHY and bad at talking <33

17. What’s your favorite game? (1, 2, 3, or 4) sims 3 will always have my heart, but the only one i ever play is sims 4 !

18. Do you have any sims merch? i have a little plumbob sticker i got from etsy and i put it on one of my journals! but that's it lol

19. Do you have a YouTube for sims? it's linked in my pinned post but there's nothing on it yet <3

20. How has your “sim style” changed throughout your years of playing? i started off using no cc, then full alpha, then full mm and now maxis-mix.

21. What’s your Origin ID? it's a secret 🤭

22. Who’s your favorite CC creator? SO MANY! pralinesims, clumsyalienn, obscurus-sims, sims3melancholic...i could go on and on lol

23. How long have you had a simblr? 4 months!

24. How do you edit your pictures? literally the most basic editing in the world...i just mess with contrast, saturation, brightness, etc etc in photopea and then i'm done. gshade saves me a lot of time <3

25. What expansion/game/stuff pack do you want next? something with a lot of apartments! and bands! and new traits!

25. What expansion/game/stuff pack is your favorite so far? seasons or growing together <3

tagging whoever wants to do this!! 🕺<3

#tag game #this was fun <33

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druidberries · 11 months

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sims get to know me tag !!

thank you sm @duusheen for tagging me 🥹💛

1. What’s your favourite sims death? cowplant lmao

2. Alpha CC or Maxis Match? I like maxis mix!

3. Do you cheat when your sims gain weight? no

4. Do you use move objects? I can't build without it 😅

5. Favorite mod? this is super tough but I couldn't play without mccc and ui cheats!

6. First expansion/game/stuff pack you got? outdoor retreat!

7. Do you pronounce “live mode” like aLIVE or LIVing? I feel like it's changed so many times throughout the years but lately it's been exclusively LIVing

8. Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made? a sim called Nex that I've never shared and Elowen! ofc lucine and flourish too but they're dnd characters before they are sims 😅

9. Have you made a simself? I did yearsss ago but she looks absolutely nothing like me lmao. I do kinda wanna try again tho?

10. What sim traits do you give yourself? I'm picking 5 bc that's how it should be in sims 4 *cough cough* family oriented, hopeless romantic, animal lover, geek, and socially awkward! I know some of those are sims 3 traits but its ok 😭

11. Which is your favorite EA hair color? red and green! I have to resist the urge to give all my sims bright red hair 🫶 I love super dark black hair but it's such a hit or miss whether the swatch is gonna be gray, blue, or pitch black

12. Favorite EA hair? off the top of my head, I love the one we got with that sdx drop with the ombre roots and like 3 different high school years ones lol

13. Favorite life stage? I love infants bc 🥹🥹 but also teens and YA! even tho teens and young adults are pretty much the same 😐 it's one of the best parts of legacies when a child ages up into a teen!

14. Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay? gameplay and cas! I'm not great at building and only do it when I need to but creating characters and playing with families are my fav <3

15. Are you a CC creator? no lmao. I would like to make some more recolors but I only ever make them for personal use! maybe one day I'll release some 🤔

16. Do you have any simblr friends/a sim squad? I've met some really good people on here that I just adore talking to <33 and I always think of my mutuals as my lil sims buddies 🥺

17. What’s your favorite game? 2 and 4! sims 3 is so good but 2 has my heart.

18. Do you have any sims merch? I used to have those headphones with the plumbobs that changed based on your sims emotions and they were so nice but they broke yearssss ago :( other than that no unless we're counting the freezer bunny I'm crocheting lol

19. Do you have a YouTube for sims? no :(( I've wanted to start a youtube channel since I was just lil child but I'm so scared 🙃

20. How has your “sim style” changed throughout your years of playing? I honestly don't think I have a sim style? but I do think I've gotten better at making sims in general? I'm much better at using different faces and making sims look different now!

21. What’s your Origin ID? druidberries but i don't upload anything to the gallery

22. Who’s your favorite CC creator? trillyke, simstrouble, ah00b, ratboy, simandy, squea, ladymoriel, praline and literally so many more I could go on forever

23. How long have you had a simblr? I've had tumblr for ages like lurking but I think I started my first simblr around 2016-2017? I used that one on and off for so long and I always lost motivation but finally what like 2 months? ago I made this one and got a nice clean fresh start 😌

24. How do you edit your pictures? I use photoshop and I pretty much always do topaz, noise, and sharpen, and then from there I decide if I wanna do some brightening or whatever. I do use actions sometimes too! I really have no clue what I'm doing when it comes to editing 😭

25. What expansion/game/stuff pack is your favorite so far? all of the occult packs ofc + growing together and cottage living <33 I also really love nifty knitting bc most of my sims knit lmao

26. What expansion/game/stuff pack do you want next? I really want them to make a fairies pack 🧚‍♀️🫶

feel free to ignore this but I'm tagging: @buttertrait. @potionio, @aurorangen, @estah, @sinfulwunders, @salemssimblr, @duskiivy and @simlishpiadina

#this was fun!#tag games #my old blog just never got any activity and i think i just got so bored every time #ofc you shouldnt care about that and i really didnt want to but i coudlnt help getting demotivated when i was just posting for me to see #but now if a post doesnt get activity im like ok whatever lmao #im also better at like? posting and stuff now i think #between writing and editing and developing characters #i just needed to like STICK THROUGH learning it but i didnt 🙃#druidberryspeaks #also I think like 2 years ago was when i was like ok no more simblr i get demotivated everytime and stopped with that blog once and for all #but now here i am hehehe #and maybe TOO motivated 😅

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welcometoteyvat · 7 months

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love your thoughts on character’s ages. looking forward to fontaine & sumeru :) i think you described it really well. ages for my are like… they exist but they don’t at the same time.

edit: OH MY GOD TUMBLRS EDITOR FORMATTING SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!! if you see random parts of words bolded PLEASE ignore i dont know why it keeps happening

if you're the same anon as the og ask i am so so so sorry about the delay T_T T_T i was drafting my answer and then boom life happened ..... anyways. thank you for enjoying my thoughts wah <3333333 "they exist but they don't" SAME SAME frfr. like the most on-point (internet) discussion I've read on ages is that the stage of life you're in is often the only factor that matters, and that can vary a lot based on like your past experiences and stuff. and from my own perspective this holds true—similarly, in genshin where all the playable characters have jobs it's hard to kind of quantify them into really distinct age ranges tbh. sometimes it's just vibes (unfortunately vibes often includes height bc it's a game w not very diverse model types). anyways! character hcs:

sumeru (sans scaramouche): collei, cyno, tighnari, faruzan, layla, nilou

i think collei has an actual canon age right? unless I'm tripping and fanon has solidified so much in everyone's minds. I still haven't read the manhua <3 but iirc people think she's 12-13 there right. maybe she's like 17 rn, i can see anywhere from 14-16 though. idk anything abt her timeline so these are quite literally guesstimates from vibes and they're likely to be wrong. Layla is such a college girlie, she's like 19-20 and sleep deprived (same fr); begging for her to catch a break on behalf of uni students everywhere. I don't have a set age for Faruzan, I can see her anywhere from 30-40, 26 years old minimum (the redesigns people give her where she looks visibly older are so cool <3). Given she was a pretty well known researcher back in her day and since academia is a long and arduous career choice, I think it makes sense; also if she's like way older than Kaveh appearance wise (≥ 10 years) , even if she hadn't gotten trapped for a century, that would be sick af (their dynamic is impeccable and I think a larger age difference makes it better, sweeter, and funnier). Nilou also feels 19-20 years old to me; no real explanation, she just has a young adult vibe, like someone just out of her teenage years but quite capable at managing her life, although still testing out responsibility for major decisions and stuff like that (age solidarity w yun jin)

iirc cyno was already mahamatra or something WHILE tighnari was still in school; thus this makes cynonari EXTREMELY funny if you're a moral purist who ships it and thinks they fell in love in their akademiya days LOL. jkjk it's also a reasonable interpretation that Cyno became mahamatra at an insanely young age, since uhhh fucked up temple of silence background smth smth and honestly it feels in character for him to go buck wild at a young age like that (person most suited for young collei fr). HOWEVER. personally I think being mahamatra at like 19 is insane—thus I think tighnari's probably 23, cyno might be 27? I don't know if that makes it """""""better""""""" from an age gap standpoint but I also don't really care. Cyno being older but more joking around friends, while Tighnari is the younger kohai but serious and no-nonsense is pretty funny to me and when they're both serious you know you're fucked

fontaine: lyney, lynette, freminet (are those the only medium youth models so far lol. damn)

anyways lyney and lynette are confirmed to be at least 10 from Lyney's story quest. such helpful information I know lol. I'd think they're probably around 19-20? 18 minimum—I personally wouldn't watch 18 year olds do gravity defying magic tricks at the nation's biggest opera house—being like 1 year older doesn't make it any better ofc lol, but I think they're above the teenage threshold bc of that. Kinda fucked up to think about the timeline and house of hearth stuff though with this in mind

Freminet I'd say is around 16; 14 minimum. No thoughts for this just vibes. mmmmm idk when he was adopted into the house, if he's around 4-5 years younger than L+L, and let's say they entered the House when they were maybe 6-9 (my headcanons, is it now possible to piece together an accurate timeline of this from in-game lore??), and that was maybe 3-4 years after freminet entered, he probably was like 5-7 when he entered... wah frem............. poor child I'm giving him a hug (knowing that he's also a killing machine)

#i can like. i can SO CLEARLY see faruzan as a cs professor. her hangout was so incredibly real to me i LOVE her routes there #cyno and tighnari are interesting to me too. like its so funny to go from 'is he committing academic integrity violations' to 'worthy stude #'worthy student unlike the rest of researchers; has morals' to 'husband to annoy w jokes and also trust w my life'#i love them actually. don't think abt their relationship too much but it's really very sweet #and for the record the sumeru girlies (minus collei sorry) are all so dear. i really like their characters i like how they were written #nilou gets quite a lot of shit i think. from people's commentary on her. i still dont agree w her design but i cant stand for ppl who say #'she's just fanservice for traveler' SINCE WHEN DID YOU GET THAT IMPRESSION??? also her character teaser/trailer fucked so hard #ok anyways. enough from me ty for the follow up ask that also pushed me to actually type this up :) <3 #asks #anon ask #ramblings!#teyvat thoughts #headcanons #genshin impact

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1800duckhotline · 1 year

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dont expect this to be a well-put together analysis/interpretation/etc because im extremely bad at putting my thoughts together but i HAVE to write this down before i completely forget.

sister amalie brainworms ahead. skip over if youre not a #pentimenthead (or dont idk up to you)

so while i dread talking to my parents abt religion theyre regrettably more knowledgeable about a lot of its aspects than i am (never did cathechism and never did communion as a child and idgaf about doing it now aged 23) but i asked them a bit about Why does sister amalie have Purple in her habit. Because purple is a color that REALLY stands out not only against her basic vestments which are white, but also because literally nobody except maybe priests during certain festivities/periods of the year for mass/ceremonies wears colors that vibrant as a like, religious uniform.

from basic history i'd gathered that purple is a regal color. this was completely unrelated from Why amalie has purple in her habit. (lol) But anyways from what i understood long story short is that purple in religion represents grief, penance and wait (for the coming of Christ iirc). This is like, the baseline for what purple represents in ALL usage of it in paraments.

We know Amalie is a mystic and an anchoress; specifically an ascetic who lives a mostly reclused lifestyle and has possibly been a regular nun before turning to this specific kind of lifestyle (which is surprisingly free of rules, anchorites aren't constricted by vows such as chastity for example, nor do they have obligations to the public or the church: their life is reserved exclusively to study and prayer) - I'm referring to times before she was at her old convent with Father thomas (according to the game, 10 years prior the story).

Mystics can either recount of their visions, reserve themselves to prayer or even become exorcists. We know pentiment isn't fully founded in like 200% realism but we know well Amalie is a mix of the first two; her 'visions' are even well explained by her probable chronic pains which, for the time, weren't treatable much if at all - pain that strong (arthritis and scoliosis are no joke) is assured to give you Visions and this is still very true to this day. It does seem however that she decides to give in to this pain, as part of her asceticism, as part of her prayer and devotion. More or less it is a deliberate choice, and being the times they were a lot of these folk had a belief that the pain was a trial given to them by God for them to endure so to speak. It wouldn't be silly to claim Amalie falls under this specific type of asceticism.

If you remember what I mentioned about purple representing penance, among other things, pentiment (ha) for one's sin and past faults, it correlates also perfectly with the concept of Contrition which is central to christianity in particular and later is more or less heavier or lighter depending on the different doctrine. Contrition is essentially 'to feel crushed by guilt for a previous sin committed'. Amalie's habit is more and more decorated by purple as years go by; I can't say if this is a deliberate choice on the devs' part, though I think it'd be cool if it was both a like, literal and 'symbolic' choice. Both because more purple in habit = more years spent in 'waiting', a milestone mark of sorts - and because more purple in habit = more years spent in guilt, consciously or not, for the part she played in the terrible murders that took place in tassing (Lorenz deserved it though, fuck that guy).

Idk it was puzzling me for a WHILE because purple is SUCH a strong color to use for a design. And this makes so so sooo much sense to me. If you're still reading this I'm sorry i'm so mentally unwell about this woman

also talking to a friend apparently it was part of the anchorite rule, specifically for anchoresses, to shave their hair or otherwise keep it short (according to an old english book which, well, y'know, doesn't probably apply to all places universally, but we can nitpick information for fun here). so basically sister Amalie should be shaven. she is to ME. she is BALD AND BEAUTIFUL

#rambles #idk how to fucking tag this...#well IF YOU DONT CARE ABT PENTIMENT FEEL FREE TO SKIP THIS im a hashtag amalielover

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qussymagnet · 11 months

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Okay I'm going to share my opinion no one really cares about on the "Okay I'm going to share my opinion no one really cares about" website and it (very briefly) touches on the topic of grooming and child abuse so if that's not something you want to read or would be triggering for you then you've been given your warning and I don't even care if anyone reads this but I just have to get it out of my brain because

I am fucking tired of people thinking relationships either real or fictional between consenting adults with significant age gaps is creepy or weird. I was watching a show with some friends a couple days ago and there was such a dynamic in the show between two characters, and someone was like, "I don't know, that's just creepy honestly." And I am thinking. How? Both people are consenting adults. And I also told them as much, lol.

I see this everywhere. I've seen it on dating app profiles where people write shit like "i don't talk to anyone over the age of [x] and fyi if someone talks to you who is more than five years older than you, that is a huge red flag." I've seen this same sentiment applied to friendships, too! I have seen this criticism of fics. And, I've even personally been either directly accused of being creepy, or had it very strongly implied that I and/or someone else was creepy for having the audacity to feel emotions outside of our designated age brackets.

And look, I get it, at least partially. I get that there are a lot of real abusers out there that prey on people significantly younger than them. I get that a lot of people who have been victims of child abuse or grooming find this topic triggering. I get it because I also was groomed when I was a freshman in high school. But the thing is, I was a child and that person was an adult. The significant age difference was not the issue. The issue was that an adult was preying on a child.

I am in my mid-30's and I would happily date or fuck someone 10, 20, 30+ years older than me. Someone who's been alive longer, probably fucked more people, probably knows what they want, and wants to give some of it to me? I mean, hell yes man. Get in my bed right now, I'm serious. How is that even a question? So they're as old as my mom. Maybe they're older than my mom. Who cares! I'm an adult, they're an adult. It literally does not fucking matter.

"Oh, but," I hear people say. "Sure, okay, maybe if it's like, someone in their 30's and someone in their 60's that's fine. But, adults who are in their late teens or early 20's don't know what they want. They aren't mature people. They're vulnerable and if someone older than them is dating them, that's manipulative. They're using them." Listen to yourself. Hear yourself. You're infantilizing adults. You're saying that full grown ass adults who can drive, sign up to go to war, drink, get married, buy a house, and take out a loan somehow aren't really adults capable of making their own informed decisions. You're saying that you don't view young adults as actual people who have autonomy over their own lives. Honestly, that says more about you and your shitty opinions than it says about a 19 year old renting their own place and living their life lol. (Also, bold of you to assume that just because I'm in my 30's, that I know what I want more than someone younger than me lol.)

When does a young adult become a real adult to you? 21? 23? 25? What do you base this on? Does it vary between people? Why? How do you decide how mature someone is based on a number? Because I've dated someone 10 years older than me who acted extremely immaturely, and I'm friends right now with a 19 year old who is in many ways honesty way wiser and more emotionally self-aware than I am.

This pervasive opinion that younger adults are somehow inherently more unaware or vulnerable additionally implies that at some arbitrary age, we become truly grown up and no longer could be manipulated by someone else, which is just false! I may be in my mid-30's, but I definitely have my weak spots and can be pretty easily swayed against my better judgment on some occasions. The people who know me well enough to know the buttons to push don't push them, but they're there nonetheless. Outside of that, I'm human. It's easy to believe something is good for you even if it really isn't just because you really want it to be. That is an age-agnostic experience. Manipulative relationships can happen between anyone, of any age, at any time.

An adult dating another adult significantly younger or older than them literally does not matter. This is a morally neutral activity. Y'all need to fuckin' get over yourselves lol. I am so, so, so very tired of hearing this take. Go watch Harold and Maude. Go read a tantalizing age swap fic. Go sit outside and look at the sky and consider your opinions. But if I see this shit on my dash I'm gonna block your ass on sight.

Peace be with you.

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sneakyfox55 · 1 year

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1. I read your stuff and commented and you just started. Reading my stuff??? And you were so sweet???

2. And then when I found you in tumblr you just started talking to me acting like you. Were an equal to me when you were my inspiration????

3. You roleplayed with me and indulged me in my dumb stuff

4. You listen to my ramblings and you're actually the only non creator who knows of Wisp's Backstory not even my best friend for 2 years knows what happened.

5. You work yourself so hard and never let yourself relax because you're so dedicated which is admirable but please take it down a notch and care for yourself

6. Despite me not doing anything for you, you do so much for me??? I'm buried in debt to you ily

7. You are always fun and interesting and I love talking to you

8. Your mushy brothers is the reason I have mushy brothers because I was self conscious about it

9. Even if you don't know what I'm talking about you listen and my goodness ily

10. You make so much Giftfics for meee

11. It's so fun to bully Wisp because you're so entertaining to

12. I love being able to talk about true crime without having the other treat real people like fictional characters

13. You write so much skelebros... and you write them so well...

14. You read my stuff despite you being good enough to probably be with better more known creators

15. You're only 18 and you've made so much stuff and you've inspired so many people and you have so many followers

16. I'm literally so fucking weird and you don't even blink an eye at it???

17. You always cheer me up when I'm in a bad mood

18. Your Sans angst.... ouagh...

19. YOUR PAPYRUS ANGST... OUAGH...

20. The newest giftfic where Sans is so sappy where he tackles his brother out of love???

21. You thought about me and wrote a chapter inspired by me :')

22. Even with my delusional memories you comforted me and helped me so much

23. Even with my really angsty whump stuff you encourage me and tell me how you like it

24. Speaking of that you shower me with love and idk why????

25. You're so creative and I don't know how you get it???

26. You made an au inspired by my interpretation???

27. AND YOU PERFECTED IT SO QUICKLY TO WHERE IT MAKES SENSE WHILE MINE IS REALLY LAZY

28. I was supposed to be doing my homework but I'm doing this instead just for youuuuuuuuuuuuu

29. You light up my life so muchhhh

30. You're literally one of my favorite authors. When I see a Gmail with your name I scramble to open it

31. Almost every author I know there are parts of their work I think is less than stellar. Not with you. I can't think of one part.

32. You put stuff into words so well while I can't and just try to somewhat convey what I'm feeling

I'm actually tired af so I'm going to conk out and continue tomorrow ilyyyyyyyyy

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HOW

WOH

HOW

DARE

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

EVERYONE

EVERYONE LOOK

LOOK AT THIS IDIOT (AFFECTIONATE) AND WHAT THEY DID FOR ME WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS I LOVE YOU I DIDN'T EVEN??? I COULDN'T EVEN WORD MY OWN LIST WELL AND I WAS BAD AT IT YOURS IS SO MUCH BETTER BUT WHY DID YOU DO THISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

(ALSO SORRY ABOUT, THE CONFUSION ABOUT MY BIRTHDAY/AGE, FOR ANYONE WONDERING I ACCIDENTALLY PUT THEM UNDER THE IMPRESSION MY BIRTHDAY HAPPENED ALREADY BUT I DON'T TURN ADULT UNTIL LATER THIS YEAR DSHJGDSJDSGJHDS)

#I'M NOT AS COOL AS YOU THINK I AM YOU'RE COOLER #mutuals!!!#my beloved mutuals <333 #asks #HUGGING YOU RIGHT NOW #AND ALSO BITING YOU #obsessivefangirl

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jorgecrespo · 1 year

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1 4 5 6 (have fun with that one) 15 17 23 (idk how to even interpret that but spread hate<3) 28 32 38 39 go crazy

what are 3 things you’d say shaped you into who you are?

the age of 10 and 17

living in nicaragua for a year. found out i actually like people and i'm not a beach person because the ocean is very scary

the liza minelli tries to turn on a lamp snl skit

what’s an inside joke you have with your family or friends?

it's an inside joke with my family and it has to do with eric clapton's dead son. i have no excuse and it's not my fault

what made you start your blog?

started this blog because of druck (😩). i was on the tag but everyone was like IF YOU DON'T REBLOG THINGS YOU'RE THE DEVIL and i felt bad so i made this and then it's all been downhill every since

what’s the best and worst part of being online/a creator?

best part is obviously all the people i've met from all over the world. from germany to australia to indiana (🤢) and everywhere in-between. i feel like the world is at my fingertips. the worst part is seeing the worst takes that anyone has ever thought and i feel my brain rotting away. also, old woman moment, i hate watching these kids grow up on the internet, it's like watching worms take over their brain

what do you think of when you hear the word “home”?

yeah i'm an adult but also....my stuffed animal brownie 🥺. that little dude goes everywhere with me

name 3 things that make you happy

my cats. if i'm sad i just look up and see their little fluffy faces and then i feel ok

all my internet friends. love seeing everyone's dumb posts

every night i grab my pepper spray and walk around the neighborhood and it has actually improved my overall mood it's insane. who knew

say 3 things about someone you hate

let's talk about scott meyer

after leaving the mental hospital (literally across the street from it) he asked "kallie why don't you have a job" mere moments after he was kicked out of a bar for being too drunk. so i asked why he doesn't have a job and he got all mad and said WELL I'M TRYING and then i started yelling at him in the pizza place but my excuse is i was pretty drugged up and then he just never got a job

attacking the whole house (which included a literal baby btw) and then stealing one of their cars while insanely drunk after hitting me and biting someone else and then i waited outside for the cops while eating mac n cheese in the rain (shout-out to the eugene oregon police department for not finding a drunk man on the empty roads at midnight and just saying "we have people looking")

STEALING MY CLOTHES FUCK YOU SCOTT

do you collect anything?

i don't really collect anything rn but i do have a lot of rocks from my childhood/teen years. i still love a good rock

how many tabs do you have open right now?

44 and they're all unimportant but i'm not deleting any of them

fave song at the moment?

for the fifth year in a row, hounds of love. i will inform everybody if that changes

youtuber you’ve been obsessed with and why?

this is a great place to bitch about youtube because i used to go on there all the time and now i barely go on there. mainly just to watch random clips of shows and sports compilations because the ads are legitimately terrible. it's impossible to watch anything anymore. every two minutes, BAM another ad like it's fucking torture. a five minute video takes eight minutes it's insane. who let this happen

#sorry this took so long i spent my time on it 💪#asks #long post

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onemillionvolts · 2 years

Note

GM CYNO

what if i told you every single question in the ask game should be answered, that or WHO IS THE SEXUEST PERSIN THAT COMES TO MIND IMMEDIATELY

GOOD MORNING HI HI. BET. im gonna do all of them you bet i wont but i will. youre the best for this btw

IMMEDIATELY? PFFFF HOW LONG DO U HAVE LET ME GET MY LIST

0. height

i yam 5 foot 6 (and a half)

1. virgin?

what the fuck did you just call me? /lhj

anyways in my head yes i am and thats what matters isnt it

2. shoe size

i wear 11s and god i wish that thing people say about shoe size was true 🤙

3 + 4 + 5. do you smoke/drink/do drugs

no and i never plan to <33

6. age you get mistaken for

i.. honestly have no answer to this tbh

7 + 8. do you have (and/or want) any tattoos?

i don't have any, i'd like one/some but i'm not really sure what i'd get

9 + 10. do you have/want any piercings

no to both PFFFF i think like... a clip on lip piercing would probably be my personal limit

11. best friend

...ego stroker much, tumblr user wangshu? /t PFFFFF

12. relationship status

harem with fake 2d men single. yeah uh. single

13. biggest turn ons

tbh... i cant think of any off the top of my head that aren't painfully obvious

14. biggest turn offs

ducklips iykyk

15. favorite movie

i'm not kidding when i say step brothers. but if you want a more respectable answer, nightmare before christmas

16. i'll love you if

you aren't an asshole??? i mean ik it's hypocritical of me to say but cmon

17. someone you miss

i've lost a lot of family over the years so probably someone there tbh

18. most traumatic experience

when my ex lived with me and i wish i was joking it was that fucking bad

19. A fact about your personality

which one /hj

i do think.. i overcompensate a lot by trying to be funny bc i dont feel like i HAVE a personality so there's that about me

20. What i hate most about myself

mm thats a toughie it could be the appearance or the voice or the attachment issues or the codependency issues or the jealousy issues or the mood swings or the weak immune system or the several mental illnesses or holy shit this is turning into a pity party

21. what i love most about myself

im an alright writer i guess? and id like to think i'm a good friend

22. what i want to be when i get older

i just wanna write man idc what

23. my relationship with my sibling(s)

i have 0 of them

24. my relationship with my parents

my moms cool but the less said about my dad the better

25. my idea of the perfect date

literally just staying in and watching a movie with snacks and stuff... honestly never thought about it much

26. My biggest pet peeves

UM UM um people who think the world revolves around them people who don't know the difference between their there and they're um people who Unironically Capitalize Every Word Like This oh i could go on

27. a description of the person i like

big hat dumb bowlcut open kimono /j

28. description of the person i dislike the most

um literally jusr my dad so. narcissistic explosive annoying abusive etc etc

29. A reason i've lied to a friend

only time i'm lyin is when i say tiggy ain't best boy 💯

30. what i hate most about work/school

it kinda semi interferes w my night owl ways but otherwise i'm chill

31. what your last text message says

gonna use actual texts cause using disc is too easy 👹 it was just me asking my mom if she wanted a drink from mcdonalds from last sunday

32. what words upset me the most

does this mean like. just words you hate or a phrase/sentence that upsets u...

uh i'll do it both ways. the word bussin makes me want to fall down an abyss a la childe ajax tartaglia

and uh. i hate being told i don't do enough, specifically by people who don't do jack shit in the first place. AGAIN iykyk

33. what words make me feel best abt myself

oh it was the second thing. honestly don't hve an answer to this but i just hold onto any compliment i get for actual years so there's that about me

34. what i find attractive in women

eyes its eyes

35. what i find attractive in men

sense of humor tbh

36. where i would like to live

somewhere close to a big city so that it isn't massively crowded and loud and overwhelming all the time but i'm close enough to stores and hospitals and all that stuff

37. One of my insecurities

i feel like this has already been asked in like 6 different ways.. prolly my body tho

38. my childhood career choice

honestly i've.. always been kinda laughably indecisive about this type of thing. i never wanted to be like, an astronaut or fireman or any of the cliche stuff that kids talk about i.. don't think i ever thought of it actually

39. my favorite ice cream flavor

cookies n cream 👹 specifically like a cookies n cream cheesecake blizzard from like dq or culvers.. that shit is unmatched

40. Who i wish i could be

a mentally stable person or cyno genshin (real)

41. where i want to be right now

in bed <///3

42. the last thing i ate

leftover pizza <3

43. SEXIEST PERSON THAT COMES TO MIND IMMEDIATELY

TIGHNARI FINAL ANSWRR I DONT PERCEIVE REAL PEOPLE

44. a random fact about anything

all odd numbers contain the letter E

GOLLY THIS WAS SO FUN.

#✶ neon.mutuals ✶#✶ neon.plays: ask games ✶#there's your tipsy lore for the day

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