#i’m going through emotions right now

[auxilioooo]

SPOILERS FOR THE MARVELS

In the memory flash back where Carol reflects on her time on earth with Maria, she has long hair. This basically confirms she cut her hair somewhere between the last three years of the blip. In other words, this kinda confirms that Carol cut her hair for Maria

#i’m going through emotions right now #i had therapy right after i saw the movie #and the new AJR album has a lot of emotions #Carol and Maria where a couple #you can’t convince me otherwise #marvel #ms marvel #kamala khan #captain marvel #carol danvers #the marvels #mcu #monica rambeau #photon #ms. marvel #maria rambeau #carol x maria #lesbian #bi #and they were roommates #the marvels spoilers

[rotating-hyperfixations]

Getting the urge to write a fanfiction where Quinn Fabray is a butch lesbian and sports dyke because I’m feeling particularly gay and @angelhummels nerd unholy trinity post has me thinking thoughts that I have pushed to the depths of my brain that are now resurfacing with my glee hyperfixation.

#quinn fabray #glee #who is she going to date #we don’t know #is it going to be me projecting #yes #I was a little baby masc lesbian with an emotional attachment to glee and wanted rep #so now I’m going to make some through fanfic #also Quinn rejecting the very stereotypical femininity that was forced on her by family and religion was right there! #so I’m going to fix that myself dammit

[awakefor48hours]

In Mourning

All you did was be yourself yet you betrayed me

You were my heart, soul, and happiness yet you turned your back on me

We were supposed to be together forever but you destroyed everything

It wasn’t supposed to end like this for me but you’re the co author of this story

And now you’re gone and I’m lost

Nothing makes sense because of you

You pursued your own happiness and now it’s gone

You’re gone, you’re dead to me 

But also not really so I don’t know how I’m supposed to go

You’re still here yet I mourn

I mourn the shattered pieces of who I was and still am 

Yet I’m still alive, I still have my heart and soul

So how am I supposed to go on 

How am I supposed to mourn the lives of the living 

#Luce tries poetry #< going through a lot of shit right now so this might be a recurring tag #I don’t have a proper outlet for my emotions rn #(it’s personal family/friend drama that I’m not allowed to share) #I’m too emotionally unstable to deal with all #and at this point the only way I’m going to cope with it is either alcohol or weird poetry #I went with weird poetry

[autopsytableromance]

I just keep looking at that leatherface Jennifer’s body post I made. You can’t tell super well if you don’t know that the scene (bc I dont know how to gif so I just took a screenshot and also that movie (or at least the version I found online of it) was so dark you could barely see anything) but he is essentially making the motion that Jennifer is. Staring at himself in the mirror rubbing the skin on his face. I was genuinely taken aback watching the movie at how genuine the scene seemed when most of the movie had a very like. Over the top ridiculous feel it made me sick to my stomach to watch and not in disgust but like. Ok I don’t actually know how to express the emotion it makes me feel but it’s somewhere along these lines.

#that scene and the food. food. food. scene which. I feel was slightly more played for laughs but not fully? made me feel very sentimental ig #I don’t know if that’s the right word for it really but I can’t really think of another. it’s about being a monster bc it’s all you know. #and if it’s all you know then it must be all you are. do you understand me #I’m reaching through your screen right now tell me you understand. I feel crazy over this #someone talk to me about this btw. I’m going crazy #literally feeling shrimp emotions at the present

[skoulsons]

.

#life has just been nothing short of hard thing after hard thing the past little while #and me. being the emotional person that I am. it hits me very hard. #drama and death and mental health concerns and sickness and broken relationships and #well now I’m sick and it’s a really bad cold. one of the worst I’ve had for sure. may have to go to the doc tomorrow if I’m not any better #could be worse I know #but on top of everything it just makes it worse #brushing my teeth has become a last resort because I’ve just been exhausted past what a normal human should experience #productivity right now is very low #sleep has been a nightmare #I really need a break. #I’ll get one. I know I will. things will clear up. all will be fine. #God is good. I know He’s with me through this. #but boy is there a lot going on right now. #and I’ve just. a stupid part of me just wants to disappear and cut contact with everyone. #not that it would help. I know it wouldn’t. humans are social. people care I guess. #life is just. it’s rough.

[fitzroycontent]

Devo could benefit from a good therapist and Amber could benefit from a damn punch in the face. And a therapist.

#like Devo is obviously going through a huge shift in his life and struggling to cope #amber is an adult with zero sympathy and the emotional intelligence of a fossilized mollusk #I’m a Devo apologist tbh he’s right #like obviously he’s also kind of a shit head but he’s late teens/early twenties. he’ll grow out of it #he’s actively working on himself #amber is just a crotchety old woman who never learned how to properly cope with her trauma and refuses to start now #taz #taz e #taz ethersea #zoox also needs a therapist but in the way everyone needs a therapist

[pepprs]

crying again lol ok

#purrs #and posting online abt it so i get immediate validation / support instead of asking for help from anyone im close to i know. but god fucking #damn it to hell. ok im going to be candid about this because it hurts so fucking bad. five years ago i met someone so important to me. and I #miss her so so so so much. and every space here i have a memory with her in. and she left in July and she’s gone. and im sobbing my eyes out #FOR WHY because it was over 6 months ago and im happier and she’s happier and we’re all happier. but i think im getting some aftershocks #being here for the first time without her exactly 5 years to the week we met: when she was so important to me. she was the whole reason i #even saw myself as something. and she’s fucking gone. she left. but she’s not dead like LMAO idk why im crying so hard when i could just #text her any time and tell her that i miss her. but idk. it’s just everything is stirring memories and they’re painful to think about now or #at least today because she’s gone and it all changed. i was just saying that i feel like im not having any emotions and tonight the grief ju #just rammed into me like a train and my fucking counselor sucks ass and won’t even help me work through it and everyone is busy and tired an #and im a staff coach so im not supposed to be having a fuckjng mental breakdown over **** pacing around in my bathroom at 1:23am but ive be #been thinking about her so much and remembering all the formative interactions i had with her here and missing her so much i want to explode #and die and p*ke and whatever. so stupid to cry about it but i fucking miss her. and i hate that she’s not here. and i’m trying so hard to b #be her but i have to be me but i can’t not have what she brought here and im just crashi ng and burning and can’t be honest and im having a #breakdown and crying so hard and i don’t know what to do. i ithink i’ll be fine after some sleep and reflection but my heart is like seizing #on itself right now and nothing takes my mind off it and i just keep crying LMFAOOOOOO. i hate it here #delete later #like how can you look at me like that and then fuck off to ****** 4.5 years later. you know? im about to punch a hole into the hallway #and i have to be quiet bc ppl are trying to sleep but it’s making me fucking crazy. #retreat tag

[rowlfthedog]

SNOOOOOORK mimimimimi

#barks #I’m all cozied up with him right now #sorry for no art in like 2 weeks I’m still going through it #hence emotional support weirdo

[king0fcrows]

.

#my last post made me sound like I was despairing but i’m not #I’m going through a lot of intense emotions #and I am tired #but I don’t feel despair right now #I feel like i’m changing and it feels good

[itspileofgoodthings]

literally sometimes my brain won’t work right when I am under stress or anxiety or just riding waves of turmoil but it still keeps going through the motions of working—grinding, whirring, spinning, turning etc etc etc. but all unproductively—and so I have to take my brain and put it on ice like “you CANNOT use this right now Maria it is not working right” and then go do other things and it has been the hardest thing in the world for me to learn but also one of the most important lessons from this season I think. just to haul myself out of the pit of my own thinking and go look at the sky or some grass.

#I think of it in terms of putting it on ice/giving it to Our Lady #because the thing is!!! and I know how self-aggrandizing this sounds but. I’m very smart #like with my BRAIN #the gift is thinking. it’s analyzing #but when for other reasons I am under physical emotional mental spiritual stress #that just makes my gift of thinking worse #and it betrays me #and it paints the most vivid pictures and scenarios and stories #and there is this thread of truth trying to push its way through because I’ve really honed my mind to look for the truth #but it’s trying to operate in the dark and it CANNOT do it #and so it’s like. I just have to disengage from a problem #from trying to figure it out #I have to say to myself ‘your brain isn’t working right now. set it down and go do something else’ #and just wait and trust #and because I have intense anxiety it makes me want to SCREAM to have to do that #it feels wrong and evil to set the problem down in any way #to not try to wrestle my way to an answer #but I just keep hitting so many dead ends in my mind that it has forced itself on my consciousness (finally) #that the smart thing to do is to not try to analyze right now #I need to surrender and get my bearings again and rest and heal #and then try to tackle the intellectual problem #these are mostly about internal spiritual battles I’ve been facing I know it sounds all vague #anyway life is crazy. my brain is a little broken. I cannot think myself out of …. well anything #it’s time to lean on other things #including the act of trust and a trust fall and setting down a tangled problem at the feet of Our Lady #and saying ‘here it’s yours’ #and it’s so hard because of course I sneak back in a second later and try to start untangling it again #like the naughty little kid I am #but that’s just part of the struggle. to KEEP not engaging. because I SUSPECT (underneath my fear) that if I leave it alone it will melt #and resolve into a dew of its own accord. things are like that. life is simple you know? let be. ANYWAY.

[salsflore]

current mood

#me i am the one laying down #cw vent #negative #i feel literally CRAZY please do not look at me do not perceive me I AM HANGING IN THERE!!! #theres just something so genuinely debilitating about loving childe so much #someone whos not there for me at all someone who CANT be there for me at all its crazy i feel crazy #is it odd to say i feel as if i’m connected to him yet also not #sorry for being delusional in the fucking tags #i dont know how to explain how i feel. its also odd realizing other people can view him in this same way and its just aghhhh; #this might just be because i'm going through it right now so my emotions r a mess but #“i could fix her” but he is making me worse

[petrovna-zamo]

I’m about to clown so hard because of this podcast

#prepared to fully be wrong #but things feel different right? #she’s just SO happy #and whatever the reason is I’m happy for her #I feel like this is the golden era of Katya #like there’s been a change somethings shifted I swear #I’ll take it all back if she’s really just going to talk about limeade #i’m willing to bet she’s just trying bottoming again lol #and will fully admit the hometown Boston show has wrecked me omg #so my emotions can’t be trusted right now #I just want nothing more than for her to have all the love she deserves #do I think she’d make a boyfriend announcement through a monkey meme? not necessarily! #but am I ecstatic at the possibility? absolutely!

[floralstorms]

indulging in looking at so much more bird stuff and looking at flower photographs lately and like. This makes me so much happier why don’t I do this more often

#Random #beware tags following the next tag #lol if you don’t care to hear about me getting slightly emotional about the beauty of nature which I was very well aware of #But yet here they are. It’s been a couple minutes now I’ve been editing this for a little bit and the emotions #in the next tag have quieted but still (next tag is from a couple minutes abo) #like.. dude. I feel like I almost might cry a little???? In a positive way??? Why don’t I look at and indulge in this stuff more often? #plus I’m listening to rain right now through my window and sure that can’t always be the case but I’m glad for it being the case Today. #well. Definitely going to now more often if I can remember to #I suppose I do forget about the things I like sometimes but it’s such a nice reminder whenever I come across it again #huh emotions how shall I deal with that (or will I not) #It’s not like I don’t look at nature and love it Idk why emotions hit now more than usual

[thiagodasilva]

not to be like dramatic or mentally ill about it, but having to say goodbye to succession this year is actually more emotional than I thought it would be. I started the show thinking “oh, rich white people going through shit-that’s funny!” but oh man did I underestimate it.

I didn’t expect it to hit so hard and just be so, SO brilliantly done. Every single person that works on that show gives their all and it is evident in every moment. I joke a lot about the emotional turmoil it’s put me through, forcing me to confront my own internal and external issues, relating to these absolutely insane characters and hating them at the same time. I wish I wasn’t so dramatic in saying that a lot of the art that has changed me has come at very important times in my life and succession was the most surprising but I’m actually genuinely so grateful.

anyway. all this to say, I’m actually really sad to see it end so soon? even though we can all agree it should definitely end sooner rather than later, for a proper send off. it changed me in ways that still shock me to the core while also still being able to laugh at the absolute nonsense of the central storyline. so if anyone needs me on march 26 I’ll be

#not me being overly emotional over a silly ass hbo show like shut the fuck up #jesse armstrong you’ve ruined my life FR #ANYWAY sorry to get so weird on main I’m kinda going through it right now lmao!! #succession

[eyecide]

Actually I lied I have more to say I’m going through it sorry

#people trying to reassure me I have people who care and I can talk to but where tf are they genuinely!!!! #not one of them had ever reached out to me for anything never made any kind of indication that they see me as anything other than somebody #who’s just around sometimes and we barely even know each other like I’m not going to just start telling these people that I want to #kms and why #nobody notices anything about my well-being until it’s affecting them and making them feel bad #and I know it’s my fault I’m hard to read I know I never really learned how to express emotions at all but my god I just want to feel like #somebody can see through that bc right now nobody noticed anything about me unless I’m actually going off the fucking deep end #but I don’t have that I have nobody to turn to I have nobody to reach out to and nobody’s going to offer any of that to me #sorry if you read all im extremely not coherent idk if that even makes sense

[no-moremusic]

you know it’s bad when the rookie logo is in black and white THERE ARE COP LIGHTS TOO????

#i’m going through so many different emotions right now. #NOLANS BEEN SET UP #THERES A PREGNANCY TEST IN WESLEYS GARBAGE IS IT NEGATIVE IS IT POSITIVE??? #I AM STILL HEAD OEVR HEELS FOR RACHEL HALL #the rookie #the rookie s3