#i wish i could just die in my sleep so so bad i can’t do this anymore | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

empresskylo · 8 months

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➠𝐌𝐃𝐍𝐈; 𝟏𝟖+ 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓; 𝐄𝐗𝐏𝐋𝐈𝐂𝐈𝐓 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓

ZOMBIE!SIMON 'GHOST' RILEY X AFAB!READER

SUMMARY | Simon is dead. And you were forced to leave him behind as the rise of the dead took over. When you volunteer to sneak back into base to grab med supplies, you don't expect to run into Simon—alive, but certainly not himself...

WARNINGS | dead dove do not eat! this is literally smut about zombie!ghost... so... beware i suppose. gore. dub-con?? afab!reader. wc 3k

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇ lock me up! send me to jail!!! i can't believe I wrote this yes i can. This is how down bad i am for Ghost, I literally wrote smut about fucking him as a zombie... someone send the authorities, i need my internet taken away. (happy oct 1st btw)

𝐜𝐨𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 ✩ 𝐦𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

It had been less than two days since you lost Simon.

The image of him dying in the infirmary wing, bleeding out on the bed, was plastered behind your eyes. You saw it every waking moment and even dreamt of it during the night. You could still feel Soap’s hands squeezing your arms far too aggressively as he dragged you out of the infirmary while you cried out for Simon. You tried to claw your way to him but Soap was stronger than you by a long shot. “We have to get out of here!” he shouted at you over the cacophony of voices, people running around frantically. You let him drag you away to safety, your body limp in his hold, thinking of Simon’s dying breath.

The infirmary had promptly been boarded up, the doors all sealed tight. The breakout had begun a few weeks ago and it only just infiltrated the base. When Ghost had come back, bleeding out after a mission gone wrong, you furiously checked him for bite marks. The relief you felt when you didn’t find any was short-lived. Simon had lost a lot of blood. Too much blood. You could still see it covering your hands the days following like a wraith. You felt like his blood was still wedged under your fingernails even after scrubbing your hands violently in a bucket of water.

With the infirmary infected and the outside world gone, you had little options but to hunker down in the barracks. There were small hunting groups that would leave base and dare to edge into the city, trying to help people, and gathering resources. Ghost had been in one of those first groups to leave the safe confines of base. You wished you had begged him to stay. Pleaded with him not to go.

The lights above you flickered, the generator not the most reliable of equipment. You looked across the table to your teammates, trying to keep yourself pulled together. It was only at night that you let yourself feel the pain, crying yourself to sleep.

“We’re never gonna survive here if we don’t get that medical supplies,” Soap explained.

“It’s too dangerous, Soap. We have no idea how bad it got in there. We have no way of knowing if all the bodies left behind turned,” Price retorted, pulling off his beanie and running his hand through his hair in nerves.

“So, what then? We’re gonna send more men off to die, tryin’ to get shit from the city?”

Price closed his eyes momentarily. The bags forming under them showed just how little sleep he was getting. “We can’t risk more men. We’d be sendin’ them to their death, Soap. We don’t have the ammo to spare.”

“We don’t know that. We’re still not even sure if it's a guarantee the dead will change, or if they have to be bit.”

“It’s too–”

You cut the men off. “I can go.” Both their heads snapped in your direction. “I’m just a technician. With everything gone to shit, I haven’t been as much help as you guys have been. I can’t fight. I can’t–”

“No. We’re not riskin’ you,” Soap said sternly.

“Soap,” you breathed. “I’m the only one here that isn’t crucial to the team. And don’t argue with me. It’s just a fact. Let me go. I can sneak in and grab what we need. I’m far quieter than any of you boisterous men anyways.”

Soap breathed your name. He was worried about you. He could see the pain in your eyes after losing Simon. He was worried this was a suicide mission. And that you wanted that.

“Let me be of use,” you begged. Soap wanted to argue. So did Price. But you were right. You would be the fastest. And as much as they valued you, the remaining men couldn’t survive here without Soap or Price.

“Lass, are you sure?” Soap said finally. He wanted you to feel useful, but he didn’t want you running off and risking your life because of the pain you felt from losing Simon.

“Let me do it, Soap. Please. I need this.”

He couldn’t argue with you. He didn’t have it in him to hurt you more than you were already hurting.

“Fine. But I’m not happy about this.”

You stood in your gear, an empty backpack plastered to your back waiting to be filled with medical supplies. Price had gone over the layout of the wing with you, showing you exactly where you needed to go to get the right supplies on a map of the building.

You stood before the infirmary doors, the ones that would lead to a long, winding hall that would bring you to the center of the infirmary. Off of that were several rooms and more halls, and a surgical floor. It was a large span of space to cover, but you believed you could do this.

“Be quick about it, lass. We’ll be right here when you get back,” Soap said to you, his hand resting on your shoulder.

You took in a breath and walked up to the doors that had been unlocked, a large piece of plywood that had previously been nailed against it, removed so you could go in. Before you reached out to the door handle, you turned around and rushed into Soap’s arms. He held you tightly, your head tucked right under his chin. “Don’t you fuckin’ die on me,” he mumbled into your hair.

You pulled back and gave him a sad smile. Then you nodded at Price and faced the daunting doors again. Once you stepped through the threshold and the doors shut behind you, you could hear the plywood being put back up, a hammer nailing it in place. When you got back, you were to knock and Soap would be there waiting to let you back in.

The hall was flickering with a few overhead lights, the generator still powering a few of the rooms in this wing.

Ghost had a glazed-over expression when he rolled off his medical bed. The room around him was silent apart from the ticking of a clock in the corner. There was blood pooled all around him and dripping onto the tiled floor as he stood. He had some semblance of who he was, of what happened, but most of his thoughts were hazed over like he was stuck in a daydream.

He had walked the length of the room, a sudden craving for food hitting the pit of his stomach. Any sound made him snap in that direction, rushing towards it as if on cue. He heard banging coming from one of the med rooms, the door locked and nailed over with whatever scrap of wood they could find. More people like him were trapped behind those doors, their groaning echoing down the hall.

Ghost limped as he walked, remembering how he had been shot in his leg. He looked down at his crimson-stained pants, almost like he should be feeling pain, but he felt nothing.

Days had passed and he roamed the halls aimlessly, not even getting bored. His mind had drifted off, somewhere that wasn’t in his body, allowing him to walk around like a zombie, completely void of any logical thought.

He grumbled as he made his rounds, stuck in a time loop, walking down the flickering hall again and again, passing by bodies that had been left behind.

He hesitated when he heard something. He turned to look in the direction of the noise, intrigued. It sounded like someone had just walked blindly into a metal medical tray, knocking instruments onto the floor. His movements were fast and nimble as he approached the sound.

He froze in place when he saw you–though he didn’t know who you were at that moment. You cursed yourself for being loud but didn’t hear anything in retaliation so you figured you were safe. Your hand rested on the knife strapped to your hip anyway.

You were edging towards the main infirmary double doors, your hand touching the metal of the handle. You should go in there and get supplies, but that’s where you had last seen Simon. You didn’t have it in you to see what had become of him, his body rotting alone.

Instead, you walked down the hall and into a storage closet, oblivious to the shell of Ghost who trailed behind you.

You left the door to the storage room open to let in a few strips of light so you could see better. You hunched over and began to dig through the supplies that had been thrown all over the floor in panic.

Ghost rolled his neck as he saw you in the room, your back to him. He had a sudden urge to sink his teeth deep into your skin, to tear you to shreds. In fact, he wanted nothing more; the instinct was overpowering.

But when he got close, he could hear your voice as you mumbled to yourself, going over the list of the items you needed. You held up a pack of linens, trying to see if they were clean. “These will have to do,” you said softly, shoving them into your backpack.

A wave of familiarity surfaced inside Ghost, a strange feeling of being alive pumping through his veins. When he got to the doorframe, he could smell you. His senses heightened, the waft of your natural scent sent Ghost into a daze. He remembered—though he wasn’t sure what he was remembering. All he knew was that he recognized that smell.

His body had felt like it was in hibernation, his motors set on autopilot as he mindlessly walked down the halls. But suddenly, Ghost’s true mind was brought to the forefront. And his body craved you, though not in the way he had just moments earlier. He didn’t want to sink his teeth into your neck, he wanted to feel your warmth against him.

Ghost moved with such dexterity and silence, it was clear he was no longer human. When you stood, his arms immediately wrapped around you, eliciting a scream from your throat.

Ghost still wasn’t fully comprehending what was happening; all he knew was that his body wanted you. His hand slid up around your neck, leaving a trail of blood on your clothes. He tried to speak, but he couldn't fathom what he wanted to say. All that came out was a strangled groan.

You sputtered, trying to catch your breath as your heart raced in your chest. Ghost felt for your pulse beneath his fingertips, relishing in the way your blood pumped through your body.

You turned your head slightly, spying the man who had you trapped against the many shelves in the closet.

It was Simon.

Terror flooded your system. He didn’t look like himself. His eyes were glossed over, his pupils and iris almost unidentifiable, the entirety of his eyes were white, appearing like he was blind. The blood that had soaked his face had congealed, the rusted color running down his clothes where he was shot in the chest and leg. He looked just how you left him, and it sent a sense of terror through you.

“S-Simon?” You whispered, unsure if you were caught in a nightmare.

A groan escaped his cracked lips. You gulped. He had become one of them .

You were certain he was about to tear you apart, just as you had seen other fallen men do to your teammates. You closed your eyes, tears rushing down your cheeks as you prepared for the worst. His hands felt cold around your neck, like ice. You shivered against him. You accepted your fate—a small part of you actually wanted it. You wanted him to end you. To take you down with him. You didn't want to be alone anymore.

He nuzzled his nose against your neck and you squeezed your eyes shut, preparing for him to bite you. But it never came.

Instead, he just moved his nose against you, smelling your hair and skin. His hands were still locked tightly against you, but they began to travel across your body. You opened your eyes in shock. Ghost’s hands trailed your chest, groping you with one hand, the other sprawling over the front of your thigh and stomach. You gasped in surprise.

You felt him harden against you, something you had experienced many times before now, and the familiarity of it made your heart pound with mixed emotions. Your mind was too caught up trying to decipher what was happening to truly take the moment in.

Ghost’s cold hands slid under your black shirt, snaking their way up to your breasts, cupping each one in his hands. Your nipples immediately hardened from the iciness of his touch. He ground himself against your backside, making you close your eyes in a moment of reprieve. You got lost in the past, imagining this was how it used to be. How he had touched you so many times before.

You breathed his name and he seemed to like that, for he rolled his hips against you harder, his chest rumbling in satisfaction.

The cold of his hands left you, making you oddly yearn to have them back on your skin. His fingers traced the hem of your pants before aggressively pulling them down. He got them past the curve of your ass and turned your bodies so your hips hit the edge of a shelving unit that acted as a table. You knocked all the supplies off as Ghost pushed you down against it, using your hands to catch yourself.

Ghost shuffled with his own pants, wasting no time at all to slip himself inside you. You called out in a brief shock of pain. He held himself deep within you, his hands squeezing as he held you, his body bent over slightly, his chest flat against your back. Your own hands reached out to grab the edge of the table to help steady yourself. The searing heat of you against his frozen skin spread through him like wildfire.

Your cries ignited a flame in Ghost’s chest—the feel of your body, the sound of your gasps, the smell of your hair—felt natural, like this was exactly what he was supposed to be doing. That he was made to take you like this. That your body against him was something so ingrained in his system, that he had no choice to to let his limbs move on muscle memory.

He began to thrust inside you, your hips hitting the table with each snap of his hips. His hand snaked around your neck, the smear of blood now coating your skin. One of your hands came up to wrap around his wrist, resting it there in support.

You groaned as he rocked into you harder. The pain from his sudden intrusion had subsided, and now you were filled with a haze of rapture. A tear slid down your cheek. You were unable to process what was happening, but what you did know was that you had missed Simon more than anything and that this wasn’t real. This wouldn’t last longer than this moment in time.

Ghost’s chest rumbled in pleasure as he thrusted into you. Your walls squeezed around him and he let out a loud groan. His arm not clutching your neck wrapped around your midsection, pulling you away from the table so you were flesh against him. He held you tight, almost like he couldn’t get you close enough. That if he had his way, he’d let you make a home beneath his skin.

His hips snapped vehemently against you, his pace quickening. You moaned, your sounds coming out strangled as his cold hand held your neck. Your walls tightened around him, your climax rapidly approaching. You couldn’t quite believe that you were not only fucking your dead boyfriend, but you were going to come in record time.

You were absolutely intoxicating to him as your warmth clenched down on him, your heat something recognizable to him, and yet, the intimacy was foreign at the same time. Now that he was devoid of his usual body temperature, the warm feeling of you around him was almost painful.

When you mewled and cried under him, your walls spasaming, he drew himself to the edge right behind you. Ghost came inside you with a great urge, growling in your ear as he tried to support the two of you. You felt him fill you, the white fluid seeping out around where his cock continued to pump in and out of you. His movements became sloppy, your legs shaking, your hand clutching onto his wrist for dear life.

You couldn’t hold back the cascade of tears, finally letting them flow as Ghost slowed his pace before stopping altogether. He edged out of you, his arms hesitantly letting you go, and you immediately turned around to face him, burying your face in his chest. You sobbed as he stood there. His arms didn’t reach out and hold you like he once would. He didn’t try to comfort you like he always did so well.

But still, he just let you huddle against him, taking what you needed from him. He didn’t attack you. He didn’t try to kill you. He wasn’t himself, but he wasn’t fully gone either. You turned to look up at him, resting your chin on his chest. He looked down and you stifled a cry. His white eyes were going to be permanently burned into your mind, haunting you for eternity. His face was sullen and blanched, blood smearing all across him; fresh blood dripping slightly from his mouth.

You tentatively reached a hand up and rested it on his frozen cheek. “I’m sorry,” you mumbled. Ghost made no indication he could even hear you.

You took in a deep breath, willing yourself to do this, and stepped back. You adjusted yourself before slowly reaching down for your bag. Ghost stood and watched you, the only thing moving was the tilt of his head as he traced your movements.

You shuffled to the door, anticipating him to reach out and end this daydream, ripping you apart. But he just watched you go, his mind riddled with foggy thoughts. He wanted to tear into you, but another part of him prevented him from doing so. He wanted to grab you and hold you against him for some reason. He liked the warmth your body provided. But another part of him felt nothing at all.

He watched you leave in a stupor, his mind just barely grasping onto the image and memory of you. It’s true, he wasn’t completely gone, but he was fading fast.

You cried violently as you stumbled back to the exit. When you banged on the doors, you heard the plywood being ripped off and the doors swinging open. Soap pulled you back into the base and held you at arm's length. “What happened?” he asked desperately. You were sobbing and covered in blood.

Should you tell him? Would Soap let you return to Simon knowing he wasn’t gone? Or would they make you stay here, letting Simon slip away forever?

You suddenly regretted leaving him. You should have stayed with Simon, even if he was a shell of who he used to be. You should have waited the time out together until he fully lost himself, and you would let him take you down with him.

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sensitivegoblin · 2 years

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#I’m really tired of feeling alone…#i wanna kill mysekf so bad I can’t take this pain #i can feel my heart break shooting down my arm it hurts #i wish I could stab myself id rather feel physically pain than emotional #plus I can’t even cry cus my dad will get mad #I’m so fucking worthless how was I so blind #I’m not a princess I’m just a gross monster who can’t do antth right #my wrists ache from my fantasies about slitting them #I’m not allowed to express my emotions so to numbify myself I imagine killing my self over and over #that way I feel the pain of a knife instead of my heart #I’m never going to be loved. I’m going to die alone. :(#I’m going insane maybe I shouldn’t take my meds #why can’t I be in a movie???? why can’t I be the pretty sad protagonist that gets rescued?????#i need saving :(#fuck fuck fuck fuckkkkkkk my heart hurts so bad :(((((((((((#i can’t take this anymore I wanna die #i can’t even sh if I had the materials cus I’m stuck in bed behind dad #yeah I’m 23 sleeping in bed with my dad cus my life is really just that shitty

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fangirl-dot-com · 5 months

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Incorrect Quotes

all of these were from Pinterest - cause I'm not this funny (I also couldn't wait for the next chapter to come out so here :D)

Like always comments, questions, concerns, reblogs, and likes are appreciated <3

TAG LIST IS OPEN! - 26 spots still open! (please send me a direct message to be added!)

Y/n: I’m cool Oscar Y/n: I’m THEE coolest Y/n: In fact, I was once arrested for being too cool *puts on sunglasses* Oscar: The charges were dropped because there was no supporting evidence. Also, your glasses are upside down.

Y/n: I have a very specific type Max: Oh yeah? Like what? Y/n: Y’know…polite, handsome, athletic…that sort of thing Arthur (on his fourth energy drink of the day) tripping over camera wires and holding his mic upside down: you little shit eating, damned pathetic piece of shit – now you listen here Y/n: *heart eyes* that one. I want that one. Max: *flabbergasted*

Lando: bet you’re standing in the corner because you’re scared that you’ll get turned down if you talk to anyone Y/n: please, I could fluster near everyone at this party if I chose to Oscar: oh yeah? Prove it. Go for someone borderline impossible and I’ll believe you Y/n, approaching Arthur: hey dumbass, hoodie looks kind of cute on you, wanna get out of here? Arthur: WH- I MEAN- UHHHH YEAH SURE Y/n: perfect Oscar and Lando:

Y/n: I brought a red bull Max: I don’t want a red bull Y/n: I didn’t bring this for you. This is my red bull. Max: then why are you telling me? Y/n: It’s a conversation starter. Max: That’s a lousy conversation starter Y/n: Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate *sips red bull*

Y/n: *gently taps table* Logan: *taps back* Alex: what are they doing? George: morse code Y/n: *aggressively taps table* Logan: *slams hands down* YOU TAKE THAT BACK-

Lewis: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated Y/n: Killed without hesitation Lewis: nO!

Y/n: Is stabbing someone immoral? Mitch: Not if they consent to it. Max: Depends on who you’re stabbing. Christian: YES?!

Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle. Y/n: Shit Logan: Wait, three? Cop: yeah? Lando: OH MY GOSH OSCAR FELL OFF!!

Max: Time for plan G. Liam: Don’t you mean plan B? Daniel: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties. Y/n: What about plan D? Daniel: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago. Max: What about plan E? Liam: I’m hoping not to use it. I die in plan E Yuki: I like plan E.

Christian: Did none of you think this was a bad idea? *Y/n, Max, Charles, and Arthur covered in navy and red paint* Y/n: Oh no, we all did. We just decided to do it anyway.

George: (in sunglasses and newest Tommy Hilfiger jumpsuit) *in the most posh accent* I’m too good for revenge Logan: (covered in bug spray, cowboy hat and overalls on, pumped full of Bang energy drink and high on freedom) *cocks shotgun* Well, I’m not. Give me the name.

Arthur: So what’s your type? Y/n: Kinda long blond hair, green eyes, dumb, dimples, funny, really thin waist Arthur: Huh, that kind of sounds like me! Too bad its not me! Y/n: did I mention dumb? Arthur: yeah, why? Y/n: just making sure

*Over Text*

Y/n: Hey pretty boy, what’re you up to? :) Arthur: Eating cereal in bed Y/n: And what would you be doing if I was in bed with you? Arthur:…I would still be eating my cereal?

Waitress: And what would you like to eat? Y/n: I wish to devour the unborn Fernando: Eggs, she would like eggs

Y/n: Do you think that when sheep go to sleep they count themselves? Lando: Or do they count humans? Y/n: Ooo, that’s a good question Oscar: GO TO SLEEP

Y/n to Max: because I am a mature adult *turns to see Mitch, Christian, and Vito shake their heads* *turns back to Max* Y/n: I am an adult

*Dinner with Max, Y/n, Charles, and Arthur*

Y/n: The food is too cute, I can’t eat it! Max: Charles: Arthur: You’re cute, but I’d still eat y- Max: ONE DINNER Charles: *sighs* here we go again Max: ONE NORMAL DINNER IS ALL I ASK Y/n: Charles, this pasta is also crunchy, I truly can’t eat this

Ollie: Good night everyone Arthur: Good night Lando: Good night Oscar: Good night Y/n: good night. Sleep tight. Don’t let the bed bugs bite. Tonight, imma fight until we see the sunlight. Tik tok on the clock, but the party don’t stop Oscar: I’M DONE

George (t-posing in the doorway): Greetings, parental figures and sister figure *Y/n, Lewis, and Toto walking past* Toto (not looking up from his coffee): Good morning, problem child

Christian: You see, Fernando, Y/n is at the age where she only has one thing on her mind Fernando (noticeably excited): Oh! Oh! Oh! Boys? Max (looking over at the dead tired rookie with revenge in her eyes as she looks at Esteban): No. Murder.

Y/n: Hey Liam, want some of this food? Liam: Sure, thanks! Yuki (storming in with the anger of the gods): WHO TF ATE MY LEFTOVERS THAT CLEARLY HAD MY NAME ON IT Y/n: WE did Liam: You surprisingly smart little mf

Y/n: Never have I ever…Been grounded by my parents! Arthur (exasperated): Every time. She makes disownment jokes every time and she always wins Max: Good one Kid. I always go for the ‘never had a dad who supported me.’ Charles: *stands up and walks away*

Y/n: I’ve only said I love you to four people. Christian, Vito, Arthur, and Max when I thought he died after he wouldn’t respond after a DNF. I only regret one of those Lando: Which one? Y/n: Max. He was just pressing the wrong button and walked out a few minutes later. He made me look like an idiot. Max: I let you win next race Y/n: still

(Y/n, Logan, Lando, and George trying to sneak into RB for more energy drinks after being banned from drinking more)

Logan: So what do you think Y/n will do as a distraction? Lando: She’ll probably, like, make a noise George: Or throw a rock. That’s what I would do *The door flings open and smoke follows. Screams of mechanics fill the air as they try to extinguish a small fire* Logan:…Or she could do that.

Y/n: When I die, donate my entire body to science Y/n: Except my middle finger, give that to Esteban

(max and y/n in a horror movie)

Max: QUICK YOU’RE LOSING A LOT OF BLOOD. WHAT’S YOUR TYPE? Y/n (bleeding out): tall, male, brown hair, dimples, caring, supportive, Monegasque Max: BLOOD TYPE DUMBASS Y/n: oh Y/n: (looks down at wound) Y/n: red

Lando: I wish we could block people in real life. Oscar: Restraining order Y/n: Murder

Christian: Y/n, we need to talk about your professionalism for media days Y/n (and a lot of media personelle she rounded up, all standing on chairs): those are some mighty brave words for someone standing in lava

Y/n (to Max while hiding behind some tires – regretting everything): and then I called him dad Christian (to Geri – trying not to cry while cameras are everywhere): and then she called me dad

Max: Christian, look what Y/n got me for father’s day *holds up generic #1 dad mug* Christian (glaring silently while sipping from his own #1 dad mug) Max: that lying rookie Vito (holding a worn down #1 dad mug): you guys are late to the party suckers

Criminals: We have your daughter and son Toto: I don’t have a daughter and Jack is right here Criminals: then who just asked for warm milk and made us cut the crusts off their sandwiches? Christian: dear God, you have Y/n and George

Mitch: So Christian, you and Geri want to be a parents again someday? Christian: Someday? We’re parents right now. Mitch: Y/n is your employee Geri: She is our BLOOD

Christian: Max is late again Kelly: I woke him up at 8 and pretended it was 11 Y/n: I wrote a fake schedule saying we were starting at 9 instead of 12 Lando: I changed his clock from AM to PM Christian: I think you may have overdone it Max (bursting into the garage): WHAT YEAR IS IT?

Y/n: If I blended Red Bull, five hour energy, monster, coffee, and hot Cheetos into an energy smoothie...would it kill me? Logan: *shrugs* only if you die Y/n (getting out the blender): you're so smart Logan Max (running into the room): y/N STOP!

Lance: I got Netflix like you asked! Y/n: OH that's amazing! I've been mooching off Max's and Arthur's accounts for a while. This will be nice! Lance: Wait, what do you mean accounts? Y/n: Their Netflix accounts? Lance: Y/n: Like their profiles? I wanted one of my own, they're like $12 Lance: Lance:....Oh....You meant the account on the service... Y/n: Yeah, what did you think I meant? Wait...What did you buy? Lance: Lance:....Netflix...

TAG LIST: @fionaschicken @glitterquadricorn @laura-naruto-fan1998 @treehouse-mouse @sam-is-lost @kagatinkita @fangirl125reader @megatrilss1885 @myxticmoon @angsthology @cmleitora @agent-curt-mega @graciewrote @ashy-kit @slutofmultifandom @aexitizen @sugarvibez @vellicora @thatgirlthatreadswattpad @cashtons-wife @hoetel-manager @xcharlottemikaelsonx @jayda12

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thewritetofreespeech · 4 months

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BG3 - Taking care of sick Reader

prompt: I'm sick. so I wrote this up to help me feel better.

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‘Your head throbs in tandem with your own heartbeat. Pain coursing through your body with every stifled breath you take, as your tight chest struggles to fill with air. It had been a long time since you were sick. You nearly forgot how uncomfortable it was. Without the tadpoles protective qualities shield you anymore, this new wave hit you like a stone wall. You almost wished to have it squirming mass back in your brain just to be over this. Luckily, you were not alone at least.’

Astarion

“There there darling, allow me.” He handed you a small cup of water. Letting you sip from it for a bit before he put it back, and you fall back against the bed. “You still look awful.”

You glare at him; or at much as you could with this pain behind your eyes. “Don’t look at me like that. I didn’t mean it that way. I just mean…you must still be feeling bad and that is unfortunately for you.”

He sat on the edge of your bed, just looking at you. You can see a bit of concern on his handsome face. You wonder if he’s worried about you or what to do. “I’ve never had to take care of anyone who was sick before. I don’t know what to do.” So, it was the former. “Vampires can’t get sick. So I’ve spent the last few centuries in perfect health, minus a few injuries here & there.” He told you. “Should I…get you a new blanket? Prop your head up? Make soup? I’ve never actually made soup before either, but I’m sure I could be up to the challenge.”

You reach out and take his hand in yours. The cool feel of his skin a welcome reprieve against your warm, clammy one. - Just stay with me.

Astarion smiled. “I can do that.” He curled around to lay in the bed beside you. With no fear of sickness, he had no reason to stay away from you until this past. Your body letting out a sigh as his coolness enveloped you. Feeling some of your heat sap out, even over the covers. “You know, maybe I have a knack for this healing thing.” You let him think that, and curl into Astarion’s body to rest and try to regain your strength back. Sleep is easier this time. Hopefully you’ll be better soon enough.

Ascended!Astarion

Coughing and sputtering, you try to sit up as to not choke on your own spittle. An undignified end for a hero. To vanquish so many enemies and an Elder Brain, only to die by asphyxiating on their own sick.

“Still not feeling well, my treasure?” You look up to see Astarion standing in the doorway. His face neutral as ever, but with just the slightest hint of disdain only you can pick up on at the corner of his mouth. Maybe it’s the smell. Or perhaps because now you are so weak. “I bet you wish you had taken me up on my offer now, hm? This wouldn’t be happening to you if you had just listened to me.”

You watch him as he sauntered over to the side of your bed. Annoyed by his comments. You knew deep down Astarion was still hurt that you turned him down on becoming his spawn. He said such cruel things to you in the moment. Even with all that power, still the boy who lashed out at other. But even with everything he said, he’d never left you. Or more to the point you hadn’t left him, as this was his palace, but he hadn’t pushed you out. Comments and jabs here & there said out of latent anger, but always some excuse quickly on why you couldn’t leave just yet.

“Nothing can be done about it now though. I wouldn’t dream of biting you in this state. Agh…” You felt the shutter was uncalled for. You felt bad enough psychically already. Did you really need to be degraded too? “In any case, I’ve had the servants go and fetch you somethings to aid in your recovery. I wouldn’t know the first thing about mortal illnesses after all but they seem to know the trick.”

– Say nothing to him

Bending down at the waist, Astarion pressed his lips to your forehead. The cool touch soothing to your feverous brow. “Ugh. Salty. I’ll be much happier when you’re back to normal, pet. Anyway, must dash. If you need or want anything, please let the servants know. I’ve instructed them to tend to your every need, and expect no slip ups. I look forward to having a new conversation when you’re…better, my treasure.”

You knew, even as he left, what the conversation was going to be about. Another offer to turn you again. You had only turned him down before because you thought you’d have more time to decide. It was literally a life-changing decision. But, laying here, sick and weak as a kitten, you were beginning to wonder if the change might not be a welcome one, as you fall back asleep.

Gale

“Alright love. Here we are.”

You open your eyes and sit up. A little as a tray was sat across your lap. Bread, fruit slices, a bowl of something steaming, and…a flower, all adorn the tray in front of you, and you arch a brow at Gale. “Don’t worry. I’m not trying to feed you any strange potions or what not. Despite all my magic and study, there seems no cure for the common cold. No, no, this is just good old kitchen ‘magic’. A Dekarios family recipe past down for generations.”

You examine the bowl, but your mind is too clouded to make out anything other than the odd potato here and there. You trust Gale though and take your first bite. It is delicious.

“I’m glad you like it.” Gale told you with a smile. “I must admit, I feel a bit conceded in this moment in being able to help you. I wish I could say it was pure altruism, or concern for your health, but it’s not.”

- What do you mean?

“Well, I’ve never had someone to take care of before.” He told you. “Mystra never needed anything of me but my loyalty. And…my body from time to time. You need me for things though. Not as often as I would like sometimes. Your independence is a marvel still. But for now, I get to help you. Help you on the road to recovery. I hope it is a speedy one but I have to say,” he reached out and took your hand in his own, “I don’t mind taking care of you.”

You suppose his underlying message was sweet, and you weakly squeeze his hand back.

“I’ll leave you to eat and rest then. Should you need anything, anything at all, just ring this bell and I’ll come to help.” A bright, crystal bell appeared in Gale’s hand, which he presented to you before putting it on your tray. “Be well darling.” He gave you a quick kiss before he saw himself out. Checking on you regularly, with or without the bell, to make sure you didn’t need anything.

Wyll

“Still feeling under the weather then?” You look up to see Wyll entering the room. A bowl of something in his hand. “Come on. Sit up. You need to eat this.”

- Continue to lay down.

“Come on…don’t be like that.” Wyll moved to help you up with his free hand. As delicate and gentle as a badger as he hoisted you up. “Here. This will help you well better.”

You examine the bowl, but your mind is too clouded to make out anything other than the odd potato here and there. It smelled of spices though. Rich and full, as well as a red color to it. To humor Wyll, you take a bite.

- It’s spicy!

“Of course it is. That’s how you know it helps. Tri-pepper soup. My grandmother used to make it for me when I was sick as a boy.” You stop gulping the water by your bed and look at Wyll. “Since my mother was gone, she took care of me often when my father was away. The duties of his work, then Flaming Fist, and then again Grand Duke kept him away a lot. So, she stepped in to take care of me. Until she got older, I had to take care of her. ‘til the end.”

You lower your spoon and just watch Wyll. The loss etched on his face like his scars. For someone usually so good natured, you forget how much he had lost in his life.

“But! Her recipes live on. Now, eat your soup to help sweat out the sickness. And you’ll be right as rain tomorrow. I guarantee it.”

You feel a little manipulated into eating the spicy dish. How could you say no to such a fine, dead woman’s recipe? It takes a lot of will, but you eventually gulp it all down. Wyll seemed pleased. He then took your bowl and left you to rest. Your stomach churning with the spicy soup now bubbling in it. Unable to fall back asleep with the torrent raging in your gut.

Shadowheart

A cool towel pressed against your forehead like a soft caress. Gentle and serene.

“I wish there was more I could do for you.” Shadowhearts voice called out behind the dark of your eyes. “My magic is only for curing wounds and battle ailments. Sicknesses well…being a source of comfort was not something that was taught to me.”

You want to tell Shadowheart that she was doing a fine job. But your mouth was dry, and your tongue felt like it was made of iron it was so heavy in your mouth.

“I can’t recall a time I was sick like this in the past. But I do remember once I was poisoned. Part of my training. Warriors of Shar must be immune to all poisons, least we fail our mistress in such an unseemly way. Anyway, it was horrible. I would writhe in pain for hours while I waited for the poisons to pass. Nocturne would come in now & then, with Mother Superior was busy, and dab my head like this. It helped. I hope it helps you all the same.”

- Turn towards Shadowheart and tell her thank you.

“You don’t need to thank me.” Shadowheart replied with a sweet smile. “After everything you’ve done for me. This is the least I can do.”

Shadowheart took the cloth away and stood from the bed. “I’ll let you rest now. I can…find some herbs and salts to maybe help with the pain. Again, this is not my forte. Eliminating pain. But…I can try.”

She rushed out of the room. Set on her task as you continued to lay in bed. Slowly drifting off to sleep for now, now that your skin was not so hot and your mind a little clearer.

Lae'zel

“What are you still doing in bed?” You turn to look at Lae'zel in your doorway. Her frame stoic and strong as ever. “There is much to be done today. We must make hast.”

- I can’t Lae'zel. I’m sick.

“tas'ki! Absurd. You’re much stronger than some istik disease. Get up and get moving. Your body will not heal if you continue to wallow in this manner.”

You try to sit up as Lae'zel commanded, but your head swims the second you get upright. Lae'zel sucked on her teeth. “Nevermind. Clearly you are in no condition to be out of bed today. I am unaccustomed to this, as no true Githyanki would dream of falling ill and be a burden on their crèche. Perhaps rest is what is needed.”

Before you can tell her thank you, Lae'zel went over to the window and opened it. Letting the cool, fresh air in. “But you must leave this window open to purge the sickness out. Wallowing is one thing, but to marinate in such sick? Disgusting.” You glare at her a little. Not appreciating that she was implying that this was all your plan.

“I will leave you to your rest and check on your progress later. I trust your recovery will be swift.” Lae'zel stepped closer to the bed. Still far enough away, but closer than she was. “Get well soon. It pains me to see a warrior like you weakened this way. And someone I am fond of. It crushes my heart. I do not like it.”

Your face turns into one of surprise at Lae'zel’s back as she left the room. Closing the room behind her. You had not expected that from Lae'zel. To show open concern. The room was much colder now, but the crisp air was a welcome expanse in your lungs. You would need to get up to close them later, but perhaps that was Lae'zel’s plan all along.

Karlach

“Hey there soldier. Feeling any better?” You lull your head to the side to stare at Karlach. “Oof. That good eh? Sorry ‘bout that.”

She pulled up a chair by your bed and sat down. Face still in that almost perpetual smile of hers. Optimistic as ever, although a bit more tepid than usual. “But hey, you’ll be fine though. You’re tough! I’d check if you had a fever or something but…you know.” Karlach held up her hand. Still fiery and hot from her infernal engine, even if she was gifted to touch. “I wouldn’t be the best judge on who runs hot.”

The two of you sat there for a bit in quite. But quite was never long with Karlach. “So how do you think you got sick? Too long out in that swamp marsh? Going to sleep with wet hair again? Like, when I get stabbed, I know exactly where it came from. Do you know when you got bit by the sickness bug?”

- I don’t know Karlach. Please let me rest.

“Oh, yeah. Sorry. I tend to talk a lot when I’m nervous. Guess that doesn’t help. I’m just worried…you know…that this might not be something I can help you fight. Monster, demi-gods, ghouls, I can fight that all day! But this…you have to do it on your own. And I hate sitting by the side lines.”

Karlach stood. Leaning in to give you a brief, warm peck on your cheek. “I’ll let you get some sleep then. But let me know if you want some company. I’m really good at that part.”

The tiefling then left, and the room suddenly felt emptier without her presence. Like a void had just sucked up all the energy without Karlach in it. Still, you fell asleep. Trying to think of interesting dreams that you might share with Karlach when you wake up. You were sure she would enjoy that.

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targaryenluvs · 6 months

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ok hear me out w this dark!finnick idea; post-74th everlark, snow’s trying to do damage control and tells finnick to date another victor, and finnick’s hesitance to date his former mentee— means ofc she’s picked :( it’s not like finnick would ever put on a show to get her purposefully picked, he’s totally a good mentor and he’s defiantly never thought of ruining her, but, might as well make the most of it

alternatively omg image finnick living through the rebel’s victory— but the aftermath of the takeover meant a lot of the ppl involved in the games (no matter how small apart they played) get to executed,, including the little capitol girl who was (barely) part of his team n helped him get ready (or mb his district escort, or just like a stylist idk). helpful, helpful finnick steps up n tells her he can totally help her but it’s going to involve her losing her capital ties n taking up his name (plus they really have to sell it, so good knows how far they’d have to go, but he’s always so willing n helpful)

these aren’t requests or anything, i haven’t slept in 30 hours and I watched like my nth finnick edit whilst procrastinating prepping for my applied physics final

first of all i know i always sleep at wild times but THIRTY HOURS?? BABY GO TO SLEEP!!!

second of all, i wish you the best on your physics final ❤️

third of all your mind works wonders!!

can you imagine him seeing her again for the first time after she’s picked?? imagine nervous finnick for the first time 😭

“just our luck huh? two idiots make fools of the capitol and we end up on damage control!” your voice was as always sweet and pretty. finnick wanted to bottle it up all for himself.

“who would’ve thought?” finnick smiled, the charm may have been turned on but god was he a mess inside.

“you look good finn, grown. how’ve you been?”

i’ve been patiently waiting for the next time i see you. he wondered if that would scare you off so he smiled instead, “waiting for my lovely mentor to show and she’s here now so great.” you giggled as your touched his bicep, and his pants felt tighter, god you were adorable. you may be older than him but he has grown, and now he towers over you, dwarfs you in comparison and he adores it.

“you look stunning per usual.” you grinned and took your dress in, a gorgeous baby blue dress, with tiny straps on each side and a slit on the right side. your neck looked oddly markable to finnick but he’d refrain for now. “and you look handsome, when’d that happen?” you teased him before pinching his cheek.

you still thought of him as the same little boy from four. he could tell, but he wasn’t a boy anymore and he’d show you that.

“who knows. now, we have people to see.” he linked his arm with yours as the two of you made your way from the foyer and into the den of the capitol, hungry eyes and touchy hands pounced at the opportunity to feel the capitols darling and diamond.

he would snap every hand if he could, you were his, even if you didn’t know it yet.

“yes. i’ll do it, i don’t want to- no i can’t die.” you were crying now and finnick felt bad, but you’d just agreed to marry him so he couldn’t care less.

“no tears honey, you get to live.” his voice was sweet and comforting, looking up at him you felt happy. you watched him grow up, you helped him through it and now he was helping you, you couldn’t help but feel grateful.

“thank you finnick really, you don’t have to do this.” he shook his head and wiped away your tears, “you’ve been by my side for so long it’s the least i could do y/n.” your teary eyes should’ve made him feel bad but the idea of your marriage had his own heart racing. and as you hugged him he felt his worries melt away.

you were locked in for life.

#kira and anon chat <3 #dark!finnick odair x reader #finnick odair x reader

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roronoaswifey · 2 years

Text

𝐄𝐘𝐄𝐒 𝐔𝐏, 𝐌𝐘 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄.

summary. your brilliant boyfriend zoro comes up with an idea when he sees you in nothing but a taunting two piece lingerie set.

pairing. roronoa zoro x f!reader

warnings/tags. mirror sex, penetration, fingering, oral sex (m), zoro calls you slut but affectionately, breath play, unprotected sex, banter, just you both being a cringy couple, bold is japanese, slightly ooc zoro??

wc. 4.3k

kazu’s note. *scratches head* uh- this was longer than i expected… oops

“fucking finally,” were the first words your boyfriend spoke after a long night. you chuckled, closing the door behind you and locking it shut.

“it wasn’t that bad,” you stretched your neck, laughing as the boy continued to grumble about his annoyance throughout the entire night. “everyone was having a good time, you’re the only grumpy one.”

“that might’ve been the worst night in my entire twenty-one years of living,” zoro plopped lazily on the bed, back flat with his chest facing the ceiling. he huffed childishly, limbs stretched at each extremity of the bed. “and that’s including the sabaody and thriller bark incidents.”

“all because we ran out of sake?” you couldn’t help the laugh you let out. he was being incredibly childish, so childish that you found it endearing.

“‘s not funny,” he mumbled, crossing his arms beneath his head as support. you shook your head unimpressed, and as if he could sense it, “it was the good kind too!”

“you have nobody else but yourself to blame for your ineptitude to enjoy yourself sober,” you teased, removing your diamond earrings and placing them on the dresser.

“tch, i don’t expect you to understand.” he retorted, although it lacked fire. you hummed in faux acknowledgment, moving towards the body length mirror to help yourself out.

you looked back at your reflection. a silk black dress that stopped mid thigh and was dangerously close to revealing a cheek. the dress hugged your body perfectly, every crevice and curve accentuated. it snug your frame just right, almost teasingly, and you couldn’t help the way your fingertips roamed over your body.

whenever you cleaned up, you cleaned up damn well. your eyes narrowed at the sight of yourself more.

“what a self-conceited woman,” your boyfriend joked from where he laid. you snapped out of your trance, finding his teasing gaze from the reflection of the mirror.

you returned the smirk back, “when you look this good, it’s hard not to be,” shifting your body, your hips moved so your backside could now be seen through the mirror. you eyed your ass in the tight material, satisfied at the stretch of the silk over your curve.

“my pretty girl.” zoro agreed, letting his eye rest once more. a smile fell on your glossed lips, a warmth spreading through your chest at his compliment. my pretty girl. for a man as non-verbal as zoro, you would take that compliment and never let it die.

the more you looked at yourself, you noticed the steel gray zipper stitched in the material. it brought you back to your senses, remembering you’d now have to switch into more comfortable clothing to sleep.

although you wish you had more moments to appreciate the dress, you felt yourself slowly growing tired. you stretched your arm behind your back, fingers attempting to find the zipper. when you managed to get ahold of the lever, you felt your arm struggle to pull it downwards.

you frowned, trying once, twice and another time. the muscles in your bicep began to burn from the movements, and so you let your arm fall down.

“hey baby,” you called out to your lover, eyeing him through the reflection of the mirror. you saw him open his singular eye, a lazy hum vibrating from this throat, “c’mere and help me with my zipper?”

“can’t do anything without my help, needy woman” he sighed, though lifting himself from the bed. he stretched his limbs with a groan, before walking over towards you.

you felt his presence behind you, and so you playfully rolled your eyes, assuring he could see you through the reflection. “‘m just so helpless without my incredibly strong and reliable boyfriend,” you fed on his ego, slapping his thigh encouragingly.

“i mean i am incredibly strong and reliable.”

“that you are, my love.”

“‘m also very skilled and observant. would never let you get hurt.”

“ah, whatever would i do without you?”

through the mirror, your boyfriend gave you one of his rare smiles— the one that exposed his adorable left dimple, pearly whites flashing, cheeks stretching wide. you cherished whenever the man would smile like this, since it only ever came every once in a blue moon.

you granted him a smirk, slapping his thigh once more, “now get on with it, my knight in shining armour.”

he placed a gentle kiss at the crevice of your neck, before putting his hands to work. you watched as he moved your hair out the way, dragging the zipper down slowly. his tongue poking at the inside of his cheek, and you ignored the heat in your stomach bubbling.

once the zipper landed right at your lower back, the dress dropped and pooled at your ankles swiftly, revealing your skimpy undergarments.

you blinked, momentarily forgetting you paired the silk dress with your black lace bra and matching thong. your boyfriend, on the other hand, blinked as his eye roamed from your back muscles, and moved down to the tattoo that sat right above your ass, before lowering his gaze down to cheeks.

you watched him amusingly, loving the way he was mesmerized by the set you wore. ironically, when you had purchased the set and offered to give a haul, he let you know he was nowhere near interested in what you and the witch bought.

when you brought your thoughts to words, he chuckled in disbelief, rough hands grazing down your warm skin, resting at your waist, “guess i’m a dumbass then,”

“you guess?” you joked, and when he raised his head to give you a flat look, you giggled in retaliation. his eye moved back to your backside, practically drooling over your flesh.

turning around, his sight was now replaced from your ass to your breast. “c’mon zee, you gonna keep looking or put your incredibly strong and very skilled hands to use?” you pressed your chest against him, draping your arms over his broad shoulders, offering an innocent smile.

he returned a smile, though far more mischievous than the previous one. his hands found their way around your middle, tugging you incredibly closer to him. his nose teasingly brushed yours, lips inches dangerously away from your own.

“gotta help my damsel in distress,” he mumbled with a feral grin, barely giving you a breath before locking lips with yours.

the kiss was slow and sensual. your boyfriend was taking his time, savouring your taste if the tilt of his head revealed anything. you hummed in appreciation, fingers moving to play with his short fringes, scraping his scalp gently.

and before you knew it, his tongue eagerly slipped into your glossy lips, slipping into your cavern and explored every inch of the warmth. his hands lowered and grabbed onto your mouldy flesh, feeling his rough callouses contrasting your soft skin.

you moaned softly into his mouth, enjoying the rub of your ass, simultaneously enjoying the way your front would rub teasingly against his. his hard-on was impossible to ignore, poking into your groin so naughtily, and surely enough you felt your panties dampen with your slick.

zoro pulled away just slightly, panting against your swollen lips, the feral grin returning on his mouth, “got a brilliant idea just now.”

you cocked an eyebrow, a smile following your words, “care to share?”

“you’ll see,” zoro gave you a light spank, feeling the delicious recoil beneath his palm, his smirk growing dangerously wider. “turn around for me, princess,”

you complied to his order, turned around and found yourself staring at your own reflection once again. it was only when you eyed your swollen lips and the devious stare behind you that you put the pieces together.

“got an idea yet?” zoro pressed his bulge into your ass, arms wrapping around around stomach. when you giggled, he smiled approvingly, resting his nose in between your shoulder and neck, taking an inhale of your intoxicating scent.

“‘m gonna blow your mind away,” his warm lips left trails of wet kisses along your neck. from beneath your ear, to the back of your neck, his kisses would grow harsher, teeth dragging your skin with intent to leave marks.

“blow me away then,” you sighed, throwing a hand back to find his hair. feeling tingles of pleasure where his lips would leave bites, heats of fire licked at your spine as his explored your upper body, eventually resting at your breast.

he took a greedy squeeze and you moaned before you could help it, the cold metal pierced through your nubs being tugged at. his hands slipped through your bra, fingers finding your nipples with practiced ease as he fondled the erect peak, while simultaneously massaging the tender flesh.

the breast play drove your mind to mush quicker than you anticipated, “hurry up, take it off already!”

zoro tsked, plunging his teeth particularly deeper into your neck, the sting making your legs buckle, “we’re keeping the set on. think of it as a makeup haul,”

“still your fault,” you grumbled childishly, and when he pinched your nipple and anticipated your squeal, he delivered a soft kiss at your jaw.

“m tryna make up for it, aren’t i?” he dropped a hand from your chest, fingertips trailing downwards. his hands stopped at your waistband, slipping his index past the elastic as he circled around your waist teasingly.

“we’re gonna play a little game, yeah?” he mumbled right within earshot, the words sending shivers through your body. in the pause between his words and your nod, he lowered his hand in your panties, pushing the flimsy string aside and used his thumb to graze just over your clit.

you stiffened at the discreet move, body yearning for more. he was being a teasing little shit, and as much as you wanted to call him out on it, you didn’t want to risk him leaving you in this state. you bit your tongue.

“simple rule; keep your eyes on yourself at all times. got it?” as if to demonstrate, his free hand grabbed at your jaw, tilting your chin so you’d be forced to stare at yourself.

you huffed in slight embarrassment. you looked a mess— in the process of it all, your hair had gotten messed up, neck littered in nasty love bites, lips swollen and gloss smothered around your mouth. of course he wanted to do this, the bastard.

“what’s wrong?” zoro hummed, though his taunting smirked showed anything but concerns. “thought it was hard to not keep your eyes off of yourself when you looked this good?”

“fuck off,” you rolled your eyes, and when the hand in your thong threatened to leave, your hand quickly gripped it and kept it in place. “fine, god you’re annoying,”

“what ever happened to my gentle damsel in distress?” he chuckled, thumb now rolling your clit around. at the touch you threw your head back, stomach churning at the pleasure. you could see from your peripheral zoro’s pointed gaze, before yanking your head back down, the grip on your jaw tightening.

“thought i told you to keep your eyes on yourself at all times?” he growled, teeth nipping at your earlobe. you whimpered, the hand on his gripping his wrist harder.

“hurry it up then!— please,” you pleaded, slowly losing your composure. behind you, zoro dragged his lips lower down your neck.

“only ‘cause you asked so nicely,” he cooed, wasting no time to plunge two fingers knuckle deep in your pussy.

the moan you let out was pornographic, the stretch of his thick digits burning so deliciously. his pace was slow but steady— experimentally fingering you, scissoring your walls with ease. your slick made the job easier, and only when it dribbled down your thigh had you noticed how horny you were.

“look at what i get to see regularly,” his hand guided you back to the mirror you’d subconsciously been inching away from. “wouldn’t it have been greedy to keep this all to myself?”

you were too out of focus to reply. you’d never seen yourself during sex before. and as embarrassing as it was, it also turned you on immensely. your buckling legs, the way zoro’s fingers would disappear into your cunt and come back out glossier than previously. your eyes moved up to your face, jaw dropped as you moaned and moaned like there was no tomorrow. drool collected at the corner of your mouth, eyes lidded as pleasure slowly consumed you entirely.

“my pretty little slut,” zoro leaned forward, cheek now in contact with yours, slipping in a third finger into your looser cunt. you whined are the addition, arms stretching forward to hold onto mirror for support. “see how good you look?”

he mumbled in your ear, soaking in the way you crumbled at his fingers alone. his cock twitched at the mere thought of seeing you see yourself fall apart on his dick. growing impatient, he growled, quickening his pace.

“zoro— oh fuck, right there!” you babbled, eyes rolling at back of your head when you felt his ruthlessly thrust at your sweet spot. the familiar yet different coil in your gut built, threatening to release at the pounding.

“eyes, my love.” he growled beastly, and you whined in annoyance, though forcing your gaze back into yourself. it was getting harder with the nips at your sensitive neck and your cunt sucking in and out his fingers.

“you’re squeezing me so tight,” at the words you clenched impossibly harder, focusing on chasing your release as quick as possible. “gonna cum for me, baby?”

“yes, oh yes! please let me cum!” you begged, legs stuttering as you barely held yourself together. if possible, his pace quicken and the thrusts grew sharper, his bicep flexing in the process.

“anything for my damsel,” a tough bite at your jugular and the multitasking of your clit and sweet spot being stimulated had you squirting hard.

the coil snapped and you moaned loudly, hardly considering the possibility of your crewmates hearing you. you melted as the liquid sprayed down your legs and onto the mirror. you watched yourself breakdown, drool now escaping your mouth and body quivering at the overstimulation.

“thought you said you were cumming baby?” zoro teased, removing his fingers from your panties and bringing them to your mouth.

still hazy, you eagerly accepted the wet digits into your mouth, moaning around his fingers at your taste. zoro watched with animistic intensity at the sight, his dick twitching vigorously.

“good job love, you did so well,” he brought his own fingers to his mouth, now savouring your saliva coating his fingers and the faint taste of your pussy.

“now,” he popped his hand away, placing them on your hips and turning you around. you raised an eyebrow in confusion, and so he explained himself. “mini pause on the game, i need some help. you willing to help me out?”

“do i even have a choice?” you snorted weakly, and when his hand cupped your jaw, index finger lifting your gaze to meet his, your eyes widened in surprise.

“‘course you do. ‘m not gonna make you do anything you don’t wanna do.” he pointed, sternly.

you heart swelled at his statement. you rolled your eyes playfully, swatting his hand away gently, “i know that, idiot, now lemme help you out,” you lowered down, opting to squat instead of kneeling.

when you looked back up, your boyfriend stared you down in an amused shock, “well that’s new,”

you shrugged, not wanting to admit you wanted to give him a good view through the mirror. you only hoped the intense workout sessions with him would pay off here.

“gonna whip out your dick now?” you asked, hands moving up to his zipper, only to have him stop your movements. you looked back up, ready to retort when it died down on your tongue at his teasing grin.

“no hands. can you take it?” he asked, bringing his free hand to your hair, pushing it out of your face.

your face twisted in annoyance at the nerve he had, competitiveness slowly bubbling in your veins. you kissed your teeth, hands flying to grip his thighs to accept his request.

“‘course i can, you’re talking to me here.”

“ah, whatever would i do without you?” he ruffled your head affectionately, loving the way your lips fell into an unintentional pout. “now, get on with it,”

you rolled your eyes at him using your own words against you, but decided to push past it. for now, you focused on how you were gonna pull his pants down without hands.

you leaned forward, teeth popping off the button of his dark jeans with ease. when you heard an approving grunt, you found yourself wanting to impress him further. and so, you bared your teeth out, finding the piece of steel and dragged it down slowly while keeping eye contact with him.

a smirk pulled at his lips at your dedicated eyes. he knew you’d be able to do it, you were his slut after all.

moving on, you managed to pull his pants down with a rather big bite. you were careful to not tangle his skin in the process, and the second the article of clothing moved past his mid thigh, gravity did its thing and finished the job for you.

you moved up and repeated the same cycle with his briefs, ignoring the way your pussy clenched around nothing at his musk. god, you wanted his dick in your mouth so badly. his briefs now hung at his mid thigh, his throbbing cock now hanging at your face.

“you did it,” he spoke the obvious, and when you gave him a flat look, he chuckled, “don’t give me that face, get on with it.”

you collected all the saliva in your mouth, eyes glued on the pretty brown tip of his cock. it leaked with pre, curving slightly to the left as the bottom of his large shaft was decorated with dark green pubes.

you were gonna reach down there.

and so you leaned forward, with the help of your hands stuck to his thighs, and greeted his tip with a kiss. you heard the man hiss, and so you took him further down, jaw slackening as bobbed down his cock.

you started slowly, dragging your tongue around his dick, the salty taste of his skin leaving a pleasant buzz in your head. though harder to manage, you didn’t back down as you took him even further down.

“there we go,” he grunted, the grip on your hair tightening. he held back the thought of guiding you down, turned on by the idea of you taking him in without his help. “just like that,”

saliva began to escape your mouth, jaw and thighs getting sore, but you knew you had to deal with the pain. you were determined to make him cum, without your hands.

taking a deep breath in, you leaned forward all the way down to his cock, nose meeting the dark green pubes. the smell of his hairs clouded your mind, and the guttural groan your boyfriend released made you leak.

“fuck—“ he cursed under his breath, watching as you went ham on his dick. you weren’t letting up, you moved up and down like your life depended on it, your thumbs rubbing circles on thighs and fingernails digging deep into his flesh.

your eyes caught his and though your mouth was occupied, zoro pictured the smirk you’d give him. he smirked back at you, and you understood as to why.

you went back to working up and down his throbbing cock, before pulling up and sucking harshly at his tip, just like how he likes it.

“god— okay, okay, that’s enough,” he used the grip on your hair and pulled you entirely off of him. you frowned, ready to voice out your annoyance but he cut you off before you could begin.

“needa cum in that pretty pussy of yours,” he lifted you up from your crouching stance. when you now fully stood, you felt the ache in your trembling thighs, “besides, you looked like you were having a hard time there.”

“i know you’re not talking,” you raised a singular eyebrow, amazed by the audacity of this man.

he chuckled, swiftly turning you around, and you were once again greeted with the view of yourself. he kissed your jaw, “game’s back on. remember my love, eyes on yourself.”

before you could roll your eyes, you felt the tip of his cock playfully rubbing at your lips. you bit your lip, holding back a moan threatening to release. the grip he had on your hips would surely leave bruises, but the taunts of his cock slipping in and out of your cunt made it feel worth it.

“put it in already,” you complained, feeling your brain melt at the teasing. you were so close to the feeling and whenever he felt as though you were ready to express your delights, he’d pull back out.

“i’d suggest holding the mirror,” he nodded his head, his tip waiting at your entrance. your arms tumbled towards the mirror, palms nearly slipping at your moistness.

you were finally granted the thrust he gave, you both moaning wantonly as you sucked in his dick greedily. your arms nearly gave out at the burn of his stretch, but you were far too greedy to care about it. you wanted more, and if you took your eyes off of yourself, he’d throw a fit.

“remember,” he growled, barely holding it together himself together. “eyes up or i swear to god i’m pulling out.”

a whine slipped past your lips, “okay, okay, hurry!” you moved your own hips back and forth, deciding to begin without him. he hissed at the feeling of your gummy walls accepting his cock so easily, your lips gripping him so naughtily.

and much to your satisfaction, he held your hips and began to pound you. he pounded into you brutally, so ruthlessly, never letting up. you wanted it? then he’d give it to you.

you cried in pleasure, watching your body jerk forward as you matched his thrusts, head bobbing without control as your breasts jiggled in sync. whenever he’d sink into you, he repeatedly attacked your cervix, his cock dragging at your walls and stretching you impossibly further.

you fingers curled and your knees buckled, though your eyes stayed glued to the mirror. you watched as his eye met you, an animalistic smirk stretched on his lips, watching with pride as he ruined you. he then lowered his gaze to your ass, the recoil of each bounce made him pound deeper, addicted to the movements.

“fuck, yes, oh zee, ‘s so good!” you bit your lip in attempt to muffle your moans, but the fingers that wrapped around your throat cut your breathing circulation briefly. you inhaled sharply, the lack of air fucking with your thoughts.

“god, look at you,” he growled, leaning forward and hitting a whole new spot. your vision began to fill with stars, the penetration hitting even further and nearly had you spasming in bliss.

“love having my hand around your neck, huh?” his grip tightened and god, how badly you wanted to cum. “want me to breed you and make you mine forever, ain’t that right?”

“yesyesyes!” you babbled, bringing your own hand to hold the one on your neck. zoro smirked impressively, lifting your body so you were now pressed against another. you felt his sweaty chest behind your back, and when his hand slipped forward to toy with your clit, you lost it.

you tilted your head back, lips inches away from his panting ones, “i’m cummin’! fuck, oh fuck— please let me cum, please!” your free hand moving back to grab ahold of his bulging bicep.

zoro’s lips twitched in anticipation, leaning forward to mumble the words on your plump lips, “‘m right behind you baby, cum for me,”

capturing your mouth with his before you could wake up the whole ship, you cummed and hard. you screamed in his mouth, tongue muffling your sounds as he milked out everything you had to offer.

zoro followed you shortly, groaning in your mouth, hips stuttering as he emptied his milky load into you. he rode out his orgasm, briefly forgetting you were now on the verge of overstimulation, focused on bringing you both down from your highs. your broken sobs indicated you were feeling as good as he was, sunken deep into your cunt as he painted your walls white.

eventually, he slowed his thrusts down, your whines music to his ears. when his thrusting stopped, he released the grip on your neck, his hand now moving to your stomach and resting around your waist.

though out of breath and nearly on the verge of passing out, you kissed your boyfriend as passionately as he kissed you back. his fingers, once gripping you tight, now rubbed shapes onto your skin soothingly. his touch left sparks of warmth all over your body, even after your promiscuous actions.

you pulled back, resting your head on his shoulder, panting heavily. you watched the view before you, and you had to admit it was rather charming to see zoro post orgasm. the way he eyed you with love made your chest flutter with butterflies.

“brilliant idea, by the way,” you spoke first, chuckling at the way his face lit up.

“right? ‘ve had this fantasy for so fucking long, can’t believe it took this long to do it,” he kissed your temple gently. you hummed in agreement. you couldn’t believe all it took was for him to pull your zipper down.

“oh,”

“what?” you looked back at him. his smirk deepened, and he brought his hand to rest at your neck, though with no pressure. you cocked an eyebrow in confusion.

“you lost the game. time for your punishment.”

… idk 😐

#roronoaswifey.exe #kazuha’s works 📂#roronoa zoro #zoro x reader #one piece smut #zoro smut

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astronomodome · 7 months

Text

It’s 3 AM and I’m stressed out so instead of doing boring things like sleeping I’m deciding whether or not I could beat each life series member in a physical fight (c! and cc!). Sorry about the violence idk why my brain thought of this. DISCLAIMER I don’t want to fight any of these people and I don’t wish any harm upon them I’m just delirious 👍 yayy

Rendog

c!: He’s just a guy with dog ears in canon so I wouldn’t be like suuuper fucked but I think I’d still lose. You know he turns up to jazzercise

cc!: Hasn’t he been through enough recently… could I win? Maybe. But I’d be a good sport about it and I’d expect him to do the same should he beat me

Grian

c!: Have you ever tried to fight a bird? Those things are scary. I got chased by a goose once and it was not fun. Yeah this ain’t happening

cc!: You know that one video of Grian demolishing that punching bag? That would be me. Do you want that for me? I don’t

Joel Smallishbeans

c!: I think I could but it would be really close and I’d have to go to the hospital immediately after. Not for fight wounds or anything I just would be worried he’d have given me rabies

cc!: I feel like I would have to fight him and Lizzie at the same time and I don’t think I could take that. Nothing can beat the power of love <3

Scott Smajor

c!: Nah I just lose and he’s judgmental about it too

cc!: LGBT infighting. I would probably lose

BigB

c!: he would win the psychic battle long before the physical battle could even begin

cc!: Man is yoked. I have died

Etho

c!: As soon as I walk up to him he teleports behind me and cuts me in half. Nothing personnel kid

cc!: Lost in the Canadian wilderness trying to track him down, I am mauled by a moose. My corpse becomes a nice meal for some wolves and I am slowly forgotten

Bdubs

c!: I could punt him with ease

cc!: I maybe could but would it really be worth it

Pearl

c!: Ripped apart by hounds so sad. I deserved it

cc!: I can’t afford to fly to Australia. Also even if I could I think she could just throw a bug at me and I would die from the 10,000 poisons that every Australian animal contains

Martyn Inthelittlewood

c!: I lied we’re not fighting I’m leading you out of the endless cycle of violence come with me

cc!: I feel like I would be overconfident going into it and then he would just deck me. Alternatively he could just recite mentally damaging lore facts at me until I fall over and die

Scar from Goodtimes

c!: He immediately engages me in a battle of wits that ends in me paying him to punch me in the face

cc!: I would concede immediately for moral reasons. Maybe we could lightsaber duel instead?

Impulse

c!: He would show up in like full netherite or something. Are these fights happening irl or in minecraft. Doesn’t matter. Either way I am gone. Reduced to ashes

cc!: That is a whole entire human being I think I’d punch him once and then apologize. It would not affect him at all. I don’t think he’d hurt me though

Tango

c!: I might have a chance but the fire hair thing might be a problem

cc!: I think it would somehow turn into a hockey match and given that I have only ice skated twice before and both times ended in me spraining my ankles real bad I don’t think my odds are looking great. He is bald though so there’s always hope

Cleo

c!: I am breakfast. She will eat me

cc!: I don’t think I’d even be able to get the fight set up I think they’d give me a fake address and leave it at that. And I would deserve it

Jimmy Solidarity

c!: We’re both rather pathetic and sad so I think in this case we would just adhere to rule of funny. Whether I win or lose depends on what’s funniest at the time

cc!: The GYM TEACHER?? No.

Skizzleman

c!: Why would I do that

cc!: :( I don’t want to do this anymore. I would lose also that is a whole ass adult man but I think he’d go easy on me so idk

Geminitay

c!: Lol. No.

cc!: I would be beaten instantly cause I’d feel bad about hurting her but honestly I don’t know why this would ever happen. We could be friends <3 sorry is that parasocial

Mumbo Jumbo

c!: I feel like he could outrun me but I could overpower him

cc!: Absolutely no chance, man could bike circles around me. I would be easily run over

Lizzie LDShadowlady

c!: Easily but I’d feel bad about it

cc!: Same as with Joel. I stand no chance against their combo attack

#sillyposting #life series #astro speaks #idk what came over me hope you enjoy my shitpost #trafficblr

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nebulablakemurphy · 1 year

Text

Moves & Countermoves (Part 12)

Summary: No one ever wins the games, even fourteen years later, Y/N is still playing.

“We have one month, that is all. After that, two of us are back in the arena and we need to be ready.”

This meeting of district twelve’s victors is called to session a bit earlier than Haymitch would like. Not that any of them have been sleeping anyway.

“So you want us to do what, exactly?” Haymitch cocks his head to the side.

“I think we need to train, all of us. Everyday.” Peeta says, pointedly.

Haymitch huffs a laugh.

Y/N squeezes her husband’s shoulder, “I don’t think it’s a bad idea.”

“You’re gonna start deadlifting until this kid comes flying out of you?” Haymitch rears back in perturbed amusement.

Y/N shakes her head. “There are things I can still do. Brush up on my skills, learn a new one.”

“I could teach her to shoot,” Katniss offers.

Y/N shrugs, “she could teach me to shoot.”

“And you could teach us how to throw knifes.”

“We’ve all won the games.” Peeta reminds Haymitch in particular. “We can all learn from each other.”

————————————————————————

A couple weeks later they sit down with the kids, unsure how to broach the topic of tonight’s discussion. But the whispers around town are loud, better they hear it from their parents than someone else.

“Do you remember when we talked about the Hunger Games?” Y/N begins.

Everest nods, they talk about it in school too. “If you win, you become a victor.”

“Right,” Y/N leans across the table a bit more.“This year is a Quarter Quell.”

“That means a special games, like Daddy’s.” Arista adds.

“This year…” Haymitch hesitates, “it means that only victors can go.”

“They can’t do that,” Everest interjects.

“But you’re victors.” Arista says, a look of realization dawning over her features.

“Let’s talk through this.” Haymitch attempts to calm his children. “I know you both have a lot of questions.”

“No, they can’t do that. It’s not fair!” Everest’s little hands ball into fists.

“Honey-”

“Are you gonna die?” He cries, angry, hot tears cascading over his cheeks. “Katniss? Peeta? What about our friends? Cashmere, Gloss, Finnick, Mags? Who’s gonna take care of us if you’re both-”

Arista’s breathing picks up and she abandons her seat, crawling into her mother’s lap, though there is not much room. “They can’t make you play with a baby in your belly.”

“Shhh.” Y/N rocks her gently. “I don’t want you to be afraid.”

“So that’s it? We just give up?”

“No,” Y/N locks eyes with her son. “We’re not giving up, we’re gonna fight. Every victor, all of us, to try and stop the games.”

“Maybe you can stop it.” Arista nods, against Y/N’s chest.

“Maybe we can,” Y/N agrees, “but if we can’t, just incase, we need to talk about-”

“Is Aunt Madge gonna take us?”

“That’s the very last resort.” Haymitch admits, “we don’t know whose names they’re gonna call, even then, someone else could volunteer. Ideally, one of us will be able to-”

“So what you’re saying is that after this two weeks we might never see you again?”

“We’re going to do everything we can.” Haymitch promises.

“But it’s possible?” Everest is confused, outraged.

“Yes. It’s possible.”

The days run together, between training and spending as much time with their children as they can. On that last night, the children sleep between them, Y/N on one side and Haymitch on the other, clinging to this moment.

Cruelly, inevitably, the sun rises. Madge is at their door and Y/N comes to answer, while Haymitch and the children ready themselves.

Her sister says not a word, pulling Y/N in for a hug.

“Thank you for coming.” Y/N breathes, smoothing down the younger woman’s hair.

“You don’t need to thank me.” Madge wishes she could do more. “I’ll do my part here and wait for you to come home.”

“They need you, Madge. Now more than ever.”

Madge only holds her tighter. “I love you.”

“I love you so much.”

Peacekeepers are sent to collect them, marching the four victors to the justice building. Prim and Mrs. Everdeen trail closely behind Madge and the Abernathy children, one clasped in each hand.

“Welcome, welcome,” Effie begins her speech, “as we celebrate the seventy-fifth anniversary and third Quarter Quell of the Hunger Games.”

From his place on the stage, Haymitch can see his children. The boy, that squawked like a bird the first time he was placed in Haymitch’s arms, reminding him that the world might not be such a terrible place. The girl, that had him wrapped around her little finger before she could speak and gave him reason to dream. They look to him in fear now. Fear that they will lose their mother, fear that they will lose him.

“As always, ladies first.”

Y/N reaches for Katniss’ hand. There is nothing to hope for, no favorable outcome.

Effie draws the name, clearing her throat before announcing. “Y/N Abernathy.”

Madge lifts Arista into her arms, hushing the little girl as best she can, but she is distraught. Her hiccuping sobs causing the crowd to shift uncomfortably. Prim scoots in to rub her back.

Everest does not move. He does not blink and he does not cry. Forever ingraining this image of his mother in his mind.

Y/N can’t risk a glance at Haymitch. She knows how deeply the knife is buried in his chest, how the guilt will twist it, now and for years to come.

Katniss jerks her back almost forcefully, “no.”

“It’s ok,” Y/N whispers.

“I volunteer.”

“Katniss, please don’t do this.” Y/N pleads, but they are out of time, they are out of good choices.

“I volunteer as tribute.” Katniss announces, with more certainty the second time. Pulling her hand from Y/N’s to stand beside Effie, at the center of the stage.

“Wonderful.” Effie swallows down her sorrow, the show must go on, “and now for the male.”

Y/N’s head is light, spinning as if she might faint. Her lungs burn, perhaps she has stopped breathing.

“Haymitch Abernathy.”

“I volunteer as tribute,” Peeta says, without hesitation.

“I can’t let you do that,” Haymitch stops him, with a hand to his chest.

“You can’t stop me.” Peeta narrows his eyes.

“Peeta-”

“Let go.”

Haymitch has no choice but to obey. Sending their victors back as tributes, erasing all they’ve done.

“Very well,” Effie sniffs, hoping to regain some composure, “the tributes from district twelve; Katniss Everdeen…and Peeta Mellark.”

The entirety of their district raises three fingers in solidarity. They are not alone in this sadness; this defeat. Among the crowd, Y/N finds her mother, who has not been coherent enough to attend a reaping since her own.

She’s never blamed her mother, not for her absence or her addiction, nor the inability to move past Maysilee’s untimely death. Y/N cannot imagine losing her little sister, part of her would die too.

The idea that maybe she could talk to her before she leaves, maybe her mother has some divine words of wisdom or comfort-

Commander Thread takes Katniss by the arm, robbing her and Peeta of the chance to say goodbye. Y/N and Haymitch are carted away shortly after. Straight to the train station.

The ride is silent for a long while; eventually the four of them find each other, dutifully seated in the blue velveteen chairs. Drawn together like magnets, though there are no words.

Haymitch slumps down in his chair, extending his free hand to Y/N.

She takes it, the same way she always has, with a love and understanding that Haymitch is sure he will never deserve. But that is the problem with love; with life, really. So rarely does anyone get what they deserve.

Y/N continues preparing her presentation for the morning, detailing the participating victor’s strengths and weaknesses. Hesitating at each name she knows well.

Cashmere and Gloss, district one…

The train car doors open and Effie joins them, “before we begin, I’ve had a thought.”

“You don’t say.”

Effie gives Haymitch the side eye, pressing on in spite of his remark. “Katniss has her gold mockingjay pin, I have my hair.” The swirling golden updo. “I’m going to get the three of you something gold.”

Y/N finally looks up.

“And why is that?” Haymitch wonders, sipping at his teacup, containing a bit more than leaves.

“A token! Show them we are a team, and they can’t just-”

“Thank you,” Katniss says, taking Effie’s hand.

Peeta’s gaze softens. He’s accepted his fate, the only thing to do now is make sure Katniss is happy, keep her alive.

————————————————————————

No expense is spared for this very special Quarter Quell. A new training center and tribute living quarters are waiting to greet them in the Capitol.

“I want you to forget everything you think you know about the games.” Haymitch cuts through the silence. “Last year was child’s play, this year you’re dealing with all experienced killers.”

“Ok. What does that mean for us?” Peeta asks.

“It means you’re going to need some allies.”

“No.” Katniss shoots him down.

“Do it your own way, but we know these people and if you go it alone their first move will be to hunt you down.”

“Katniss, I know it’s not easy for you to trust them,” Y/N understands how difficult this all must be. “So you’re just gonna have to trust us.”

“Fine, show me.”

Y/N makes for her tablet, dimming the lights as her slideshow is put to the big screen.

“This should be good.” Peeta relaxes farther into the loveseat beside Katniss.

“Cashmere and Gloss. Brother and sister from district one, they won back to back games, Capitol favorites, lots of sponsors.”

“This is your first choice?” Katniss nearly chokes on her own saliva.

“Well,” Y/N swipes to the next screen, “they’re careers so they are extremely lethal. A few other positive attributes would be strength, agility, very intelligent. They offer protection, opportunities for better sponsors-”

“Despite some favoritism and general bias on her part,” Haymitch motions to Y/N, “this a strong choice.”

Katniss nods, she’ll consider it. For Y/N.

“From district three, Wiress and Beetee. Not fighters, but brilliant and…weird, real tech savvy.”

“We chose them because they offer a unique skill set-”

“Yes.” Katniss agrees, surprising even Peeta.

“O-ok,” Y/N moves to the next contender. “This is Finnick, from district four.”

“He won his games at fourteen, youngest ever. Don’t let that fool you, he’s incredibly humble.”

“You’re kidding.” Katniss scoffs.

“Yes, he’s a peacock, a total preener,” Haymitch does not mince words, “but he’s the Capitol darling, they love him here, lots of sponsors.”

“Very skilled in combat, especially in water.”

They carry on like this for some time, through Johanna in seven, Chaff and Seeder in eleven. Leaving Peeta and Katniss much to discuss as they retire for the night.

“You think she’ll come around?” Y/N dares to ask.

“You want me to be honest?” Haymitch tosses wayward hair from his eyes.

“Yes.”

“It’s gonna take a miracle.”

————————————————————————

Watching Haymitch’s games is a necessary evil, giving them some insight into the craftings of a Quarter Quell arena. The landscape is nothing short of paradise. Vibrant colors, beautiful creatures and a feast, complete with candy, weapons, anything a tribute could ask for; right at the cornucopia.

But the food is poison and the wildlife is deadly, in the games nothing is ever as it seems.

Though Haymitch does not fall prey to the gamemarker’s trap, many tributes do. He goes it alone for a while, ending up head to head with a pack of allies. He fights, better than Katniss imagines anyone could without experience; managing to take down two out of three opponents, before the knife is held to his throat.

The girl who spares him looks familiar, in a way that Katniss can’t place, sporting the same gold mockingjay pin she was given at the hob. “We’d live longer with two of us.”

“She looks like Madge.” Peeta voices this before Katniss can.

“She’s my mom’s little sister,” Y/N explains.

And then it all makes sense, or none of it does. Another layer to their mentor’s great ‘love story’ for Katniss and Peeta to attempt dissecting, in a bizarre form of pillow talk.

Haymitch has found the edge of the arena, Maysilee wants to turn back and he doesn’t. “We should say goodbye now. There’s only five of us, don’t want it to come down to the two of us.”

“Ok,” Haymitch lets her go.

Her screams follow not long after, the bubblegum pink birds begin tearing through her throat with razor sharp beaks.

Y/N remains glued to the screen, though the ending never changes and she cannot raise the dead.

In the end, Haymitch puts the force field to good use, leading the last career and her axe to the cliff side. Holding intestines inside his body with one hand, he waits for the weapon to ricochet; burying its blade in her skull.

“That was smart.” Katniss purses her lips.

“Too smart,” Haymitch bites out in warning, “do not attempt it. That move got my family killed.” He leaves without a word.

Y/N doesn’t go after him. Sometimes Haymitch needs to be alone and if she chases him, he won’t run. He’s too good a man and he loves her too much. He would stay, even as every cell in his body yearns to go.

————————————————————————

Haymitch returns, after a bottle or two and a very interesting talk with Plutarch. There is a plan, one to extract the victors from the arena, all they have to do is stay alive until then. He searches the tribute living quarters for Y/N, finding her already asleep in their bed.

He is determined not to wake her, flipping off the forgotten light overhead and changing out of his suit.

She stirs as he draws back the covers. “Haymitch?”

“Shh,” he climbs in behind Y/N to cradle her belly, “sleep.”

“Is everything ok?” She reaches back, stroking his hair.

“Everything is fine.” He finds her hand, kissing at her wrist and fingers, before gently lying it back on the bed.

Y/N nuzzles farther against him, “ok.”

“You know I’m always coming back, right? No matter what.” Their child shifts under his palm.

“I know,” she nods.

“If anything ever happened to you-”

“Haymitch, you don’t need to say it.”

Yes I do. “When I lost my family, I kept going. Out of spite, or insanity, whatever it was that kept me going, I did it. But if you were gone…if our kids were gone; I couldn’t. I need you safe. I need you.”

“You have me.” Y/N breathes, “right here. Just you and me.”

Part 13

Series Taglist: @praline357 @flowercrowns-goodvibes @justheretoparty420 @avocadotoastwithegg @treehouse-mouse @emo-markie @spilled-mi1k @magical-spit @greaser9902 @jessicamellarky @yourebuckingkiddingme @smuha2004 @sendhelplease @ninimackbrews @wittiestrain184 @r1dd1kulus @erenluvr69 @helpimhyperfixating

#thg haymitch #haymitch abernathy x y/n #haymitch x reader #haymitch x y/n #haymitch abernathy x you #haymitch abernathy x reader #haymitch abernathy fanfic #haymitch abernathy #haymitch fanfic #haymitch abernathy x yn #katniss everdeen #the hunger games #peeta mellark #moves & countermoves

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chvnnie · 1 year

Note

My hard this today are soft dom bossy Chan. Literally desperate for a kiss, willing to follow any command.

It’s a Chan day and I LOVE it.

SMUT - MINORS DNI

Anything baby could ever want, baby gets. You don’t even have to ask, really; just bat your lashes at him and push your lower lip out a teeny bit, and he’s at your service.

Hungry? Let’s feed you. Sleepy? Lay your head on his chest, he’ll keep you warm. Need a new book/dress/literally anything? Charge it to his card.

Chan makes sure the world is at the palm of your hands. It’s what you deserve, after all. If anything, he wishes he could give you more.

But today, you’re request is simple.

“Pleaaaassseee?” You whine playfully, scooting the rolly chair across the tiny studio to be right next to him. “Just one?”

Your boyfriend doesn’t look up from his laptop, headphone only covering one ear to listen to your pleas. “Give me like…three more minutes, baby. I just really need to finish this—“

“It’s just a kiss, Chan.”

The way his eyes shut when he sighs tugs on his heart. He hasn’t been sleeping much, too busy trying to ready everything for this comeback that he’s put himself on the backburner. You’ve been giving him space and support, wanting to be there for him during his busy season. Understanding when he doesn’t come home or answer calls, or when he has to leave mid date night because Jisung deleted a file…again.

But you really feel like this isn’t a big ask. That’s why you keep pressing it.

“Baby, please.” He finally looks at you, and the exhaustion is heavy in his dark eyes. “My focus is going to break if I stop for even a second. Let me do this, and then I’m all yours. I promise.”

It’s not a big ask from him. It’s only a short amount of time — you probably won’t even notice it passing.

But God, his lips are so soft. So plush. You just want to feel them, to bite them.

With a pout, you roll back over to your corner. Pick up your book, mumbling an “‘Kay” in defeat. Want for nothing your ass; you’ve never been so desperate for something.

Each second feels like hours. Minutes like years. Chan lied — it took him five. Five whole minutes, and then the headphones are haphazardly thrown on the desk. Click, click, click. File save AND locked to prevent it from “disappearing” (“I swear, hyung!” Jisung whined over the phone. “I didn’t do anything it just…disappeared!”).

“Baaaaaby.” He singsongs, this time scooting over to you. “Guess what time it is—“

The look you shoot him makes him pause his movements, only making it about halfway. Eyebrows raised, he tilts his head to the side in confusion.

“What’s wrong—“

“Don’t wanna talk.” You say, pulling your knees to your chest. Pretending to be too into your book to pay him mind. “Just give me three minutes.”

With a sigh, your boyfriend takes his beanie off. “Baby-“

“All I wanted was a kiss.” You pout even harder, dropping the paperback book on the desk. “But noooooo.”

The fuss your making about a little kiss is a little much. It wasn’t like it was that long of a time to wait, it’s already over. Normally, Chan wouldn’t entertain this type of behavior. Would correct it immediately — this? This is the hill you want to die on?

But today it’s so…cute. He can’t help but chuckle, continuing his journey over to you.

“Aww, pouty girl.” He coos, reaching out to pinch your cheek. You try to swat his hand away, but he’s not budging. “No need for all this.”

“Chan.” You try your best to keep your voice firm, as if he can’t feel your cheeks flushing, the heat burning his fingertips. “Stop it—“

“If you want one so bad, come get it.”

His tone is playful. So, you give in. Using your chair, you get closer to him. Chan is perfectly still, giving you a smile as you close in on him. Nose to nose, lips not even an inch apart—

Pushing on his toes, he slides his chair all the way across the room.

“That’s not fair!”

“Oh? Do you not want it then?” His smile grows wicked. He knows what you want — but silly, silly girl. Did you think it would be that easy? “Come on, then.”

Thus starts the game. You get out of the chair, rushing over to him. You get all the way into his lap, closing in quickly when he dodges your lips. As you cry out in frustration, he grabs your hips. Stands up. Turning on his heels, your back is now pressed to the wall.

“You’ve got to try harder!” He laughs. “It’s like you don’t really want it.”

“You’re mean.” You pout, palms finding his shoulders and attempting to push him away. As if you’re not pinned to the wall. Under his mercy.

“Oh, am I?” His voice is laced with faux sadness, the fake emotion taking over his entire face. Lips, eyes, brows. Acting like your insult cut him deep. “That’s not nice.”

Right as you start to speak, a hand flies from your hips. Gripping your throat and squeezing until he hears a squeak.

“But you know what else isn’t nice?” It’s like a switch was flipped; eyes now dark, expression like stone. “When you get bratty with me from a simple request.”

How he manages to unbutton your jeans and shove them down with one hand, you’ll never understand. Or try to process; everything about Chan’s demeanor has rendered you useless. Watching with wide eyes, whimpering brokenly. Savoring the little gasps of air.

“Was it worth it?” Fingers run up and down your folds roughly, not bothering to be gentle with you. When they brush against your clit, you start to squirm. “That silly little kiss?”

He asks as if you’ve gotten it. You pout, trying to speak hopelessly. “S-still need it—“

“I don’t think so.” He clicks his tongue. “I’ll decide what you need.”

Without warning, two fingers sink inside your cunt. Stopping only when he hits the knuckle. There he spreads them, scissoring your walls open. The hands on his shoulders grip his hoodie. His grip, his fingers — it’s already making you dizzy.

“Silly baby.” Once he deems his work enough, Chan starts to plunge his fingers deeper. Making sure to feel every inch of you. “Maybe next time you should let Daddy work.”

#skz smut #stray kids smut #bang chan smut #chan smut #chvnnie thots

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lambiewrites · 8 months

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Camping w/ Saw Characters

Characters included: John Kramer, Amanda Young, Mark Hoffman, Lawrence Gordon, Adam Stanheight. Plus, me and Y/N (because I said so)

Warnings: none, except mentions of smoking, getting hurt?? Idk

Notes: Reader is gender neutral and everything is platonic. Even our relationships with each character (unless otherwise stated in other fics I may write)

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John Kramer: I personally feel like John really enjoys the outdoors and seeing as though we see him chilling on a park bench, sketching his traps 24/7, I feel like he’d really enjoy it. Loves the peacefulness except when everyone (Amanda and Mark) are fighting. Definitely fishing at 7am. Struggling because he may or may not have to sleep on the ground. We definitely bought peepaw as many blankets and sleeping bags as possible. He gets cold so easily, bless his heart. Wants to enjoy the hiking trails but, can’t because he’s either in his wheelchair at this point or it’s just a struggle for him in general. (Mad at me because I complained about my knee the entire time even though I’m perfectly fine.) definitely giving Y/N a lesson on the outdoors.

Lawerence Gordon: Didn’t really want to come but he was sorta forced to. Definitely the group’s medic. Lecturing everyone on where they should and shouldn’t step. Pissed because Adam keeps smoking even in the non smoking areas like the woods where there’s been really bad wildfires. Adam does not care though. Dr.Gordon helped pitch everyone’s tent and tried to tell me and Y/N how we could easily pitch our tents but we didn’t listen. He actively carries the first aid kit literally everywhere. This man also had to pull me out of the fishing creek because I slipped on some rocks and nearly fell in. (He and Adam are sharing a tent shhhh ❤️)

Amanda Young: A little less than thrilled to be here. It’s cold and wet. Plus she had better things to do. Constantly at John’s side making sure he’s not too cold and that he’s enjoying himself. Pitched her own tent and probably is sleeping in it by herself unless Y/N wants to share it. Stays up all night worrying about peepaw and maybe other campers (or bears) Definitely one to tell the darkest, scariest, goriest story at the campfire. Is she fighting with Mark the entire time? Oh yeah probably. Is she yelling at me the entire time? Yes. Is Y/N telling her about their nature knowledge (if that’s your hyperfixations) Yes. Amanda definitely wants to go home but she’s sticking it out for peepaw.

Mark Hoffman: (My favorite camping headcannon to write lmao) Complaining about pitching the tents because no one else can apparently. Honestly would rather die than be out here but, he’s making the most of it. Yes, we do have his ass grilling, why wouldn’t we? It’s his job now. Did we make him make the fire? We did actually. Watched me fall off the rocks and into the creek and did not care. Thought it was funny, wished I had drown. Y/N is the only one who he isn’t mad at (congratulations!). Yet. Secretly enjoys the camping but won’t say anything about it. Probably sleeping in a tent by himself. (Maybe Y/N is sharing it with him?) I have decided that this man physically cannot stand me and that’s okay.

Adam Stanheight: This man has been chain smoking since we got here. Obviously taking as many pictures as he physically can. OF EVERYTHING!!! Tried to help Lawerence set up the tent but got bored. Almost started a forest fire but felt instantly bad. Definitely got a lecture from it. Sits at the fire and makes s’mores. Watched me burn myself trying to roast marshmallows and laughed at me (I deserved it, trust me). Loves the outdoors actually and he’s thrilled to be there. Like a little squirrel running around with his camera ❤️😭✌🏻 Y/N is forcing him to take cute little selfies of them with trees and mountains. We’re hanging up the Polaroids all over the place. We’re gonna look so aesthetic, trust me xoxo

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Notes: This was quickly made and probably shitty but, just bare with me lol this is my first one and I love it. I think it’s funny. A lot of this was pulled from my actual camping trip at the beginning of the month. I hope y’all enjoyed and feel free to request stuff! I love you guys!

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#saw #saw franchise #saw memes #saw headcannons #kayla’s headcannons #saw community #john kramer #lawrence gordon #adam stanheight #mark hoffman #amanda young #y/n #x reader #jigsaw apprentices #jigsawintern #camping #ask #request

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jujutsubaby · 3 months

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after hours (part 7)

☆ pairing: toji fushiguro x afab!reader, satoru gojo x afab!reader ☆ summary: time to face the music, even if you're hungover. and by music...it's the missed calls and texts and from toji. what could he possibly want? ☆ tags: modern au, academia au, babysitting au ☆ warnings: mentions of alcohol, food poisoning, sexting, slight dubcon, dirty talking ☆ a/n: another longie (7.8k+ words SORRY) but i hope you guys enjoy the foreplay. y/n is about to be dicked down every day like good for her!! but also!! wish that were me! 🤭 next one will be filled with smut so dw u horndogs!! also i'm unsure when then 3sum will come but i'm thinking in like SOON in like...10ish parts (i hope not more). i want to slow burn lead up to it and hint it more before actually writing about it LOL (also ik it sounds like a taco bell commercial in the end its not ok i just love taco bell!!!) 🖤🤍 series masterlist 🤍🖤

the soft morning light shines through curtains you forgot to close last night, and the harshness of the sun causes you to stir in your sleep, waking you harshly.

your heart beats fast and you open your eyes and are unable to move a single limb on your body. panic sets in, only to dissipate seconds later as you find a rather tall lump of a man’s leg trapping you in the corner of your sofa.

ugh, how did i get here? why is it so bright? why does every inch of my body hurt? oh god, i’m about hurl.

you barely hold back dry heaving in your laid down position. your head is pounding and you don’t like how empty your stomach is right now. why do my legs hurt? i feel like i can’t feel them anymore. oh, right.

the large shape of a man who’s body is halfway strewn across yours, satoru, is now constricting the blood flow to your legs, and you know you have to do the daunting task of waking him up.

“psst, satoru. wake up.” you lightly pat his unruly head of white hair, but with no success. you start hitting his head harder, as you quickly start to lose more feeling in your legs, until you practically are shouting his name, swatting his head and kicking his torso. satoru abruptly wakes and turns around the small sofa, which actually has no room for turning, so he actually ends up taking a small dive into the hardwood floors of your living room.

satoru lets a groggy yet painful groan. “what the literal fuck, y/n?!” his words are almost incoherent with sleep laced between them as he rubs his arms that took the brunt of the fall. “as if my head isn’t aleady fuckin’ killin’ me.”

you groan out in pain. “my legs were being suffocated by your large body!”

none of you answer, and continue to lay still in your respective positions for what feels like hours, until your headache becomes almost too unbearable to withstand.

“satoru~” you whine out. “m’head…it hurts so much, i feel like i’m gonna die…” you turn your body as slow as you can to the edge of the couch to see satoru’s face. his eyes are still closed, but scrunched, and his hand is resting on his forehead.

“it’s called a hangover. get in line, stupid.”

“don’t call me stupid right now, satoru. i’m in pain!” you cry out, your fingers doing their best to sooth your pain by rubbing harsh circles on your temples.

satoru slowly sits up without looking at you, grabs a decorative pillow from the chaise of your couch, and immediately face plants on to it on the floor, effectively falling asleep once more. you think that’s not a bad idea, now that you have more space, and close your eyes and force your mind to concentrate on anything but your throbbing head.

okay, so we got back from the barcade. me and satoru…we…kissed. we definitely kissed. i remember that. and then? did we have sex? no, that doesn’t like us - neither of us are keen on having sex drunk for a variety of reasons besides the obvious ones.

your thoughts slowly drown out as you find yourself falling into a second deep slumber.

the second time you and satoru wake for the day is the most disconcerting: a loud, high pitched scream.

you wake up with your heart pounding so hard, you think you’re dying from cardiac arrest. satoru thinks he threw up in his mouth from how fast he stood up with a headache. both of your eyes look at the direction of the scream and see a horrified and bewildered shoko staring wide eyes and slack jawed at you. wait, why isn’t she looking at my eyes? she’s looking at my…oh my god!

you look down and see your bralette lightly torn up and your titties completely exposed and you immediately turn to look at satoru (who’s alternating between staring at your eyes and your tits). and then back at shoko.

oh? oh. OH. OH! it fucking hits you like a ton of bricks and your hungover brain immediately goes into panic mode, shoving all signals of hunger, pain, and soreness aside.

“sh-shoko, it’s obviously not like that. this is actually so funny, you know…” you do a failed attempt at a lighthearted chuckle and fumble around for a decorative pillow until satoru hands you the one he was sleeping on.

“yeah, it’s not at all what you think it is. i didn’t…i didn’t even know she had boobs until like…right now. i swear, it’s not-” satoru bumbles, also going into damage control.

“save it. i don’t care. not right now, when i’m too hungover,” shoko says, closing her eyes and raising a hand up as she bolts to her room and closes the door.

you figure you do the same and hastily get up and grab satoru’s hands. the two of you stumble your way into your bedroom and lock the door and catch your breaths.

“ohmygod this is so embarrassing,” you say whisper, not wanting shoko to overhear your conversation. you start rubbing your temples again as satoru face plants, again, on to your bed. he doesn’t respond to you so you join him and push him to his back and try to get his attention. his eyes are still scrunched closed and he lets out a groan.

“satoru, do you even know what happened? shoko probably thinks we had…ugh i can’t even say it!”

this makes him open one eye to look at you and cock an eyebrow. he lets out a laugh, which makes you let out laugh (against your will). you playfully hit his chest but he intercepts your wrists with ease and pulls you on top of him so that your sitting up on his torso while he’s laying down.

this feels nice but…you know deep down you two should probably address the elephant in the room. you uncomfortably clear your throat and he opens his eyes. “maybe we should talk about last night…” you say with a sigh.

“what’s there to say? there’s nothing wrong with two friends kissing,” satoru says cheekily, his voice still slightly deep and groggy. kinda hot.

his response puts you at ease, and your fingers start toying with the buttons on his shirt (not in a sexual way, but in a ‘this feels nice to fidget with so i don’t have anxiety’ kinda way).

“yeah, but maybe we should…i dunno…talk about it?” you question, avoiding eye contact with him.

“like?”

“like, i dunno…” you start to chicken out before forcing yourself to say what you really want to say. “i dunno…are we only gonna kiss each other from now on? because i kinda still…wanna kiss toji…” your voice becomes barely audible near the end.

satoru stays quiet for longer than you anticipated, and you’re about to step off him to throw up in the bathroom before he finally responds with a resounding hum.

“yeah, i don’t mind. if i’m being honest…with us having school and work and all…it might be hard to make this an exclusive thing. and also…i know mia was a bitch to literally everyone but…god…” satoru sighs deeply. “her ass was insane, i’m sorry!”

you laugh wholeheartedly and grab a nearby pillow and hit his head softly in jest. you should’ve known someone like satoru, someone as horny as satoru, would not want to be tied down during grad school just yet. a sense of relief washes over you as you feel grateful that satoru has always matched your wavelength since high school. you start to think of the second elephant in the room. what will we tell shoko? and suguru? and utahime and literally all of our friends? there’s no telling shoko hasn’t already told utahime…

“also…maybe we should keep this between us…for now. especially after…” you trail off, deep in thought about the prospect of your friends finding out.

“yeah, that sounds like a good idea…” satoru says, smirking slowly. “definitely because of our friends but also…it’s always fun to have a sexy secret with someone.”

“shut up!” you give him a smack across the chest, before thinking. i mean, it’s not like you hated kissing him. and you didn’t hate it when he played with your titties. “maybe…i mean…maybe we can still, you know, fool around still?” you say shyly.

“maybe we can fuck too if that’s something you’re down for?” satoru says unabashedly.

you lean your body down, pressing against him, and bring your lips inches from his lips, before saying you’d like that a lot. he closes the gap and starts kissing you deeply, just like the night before. satoru’s hands move up and down your hips, leaving no part of your torso untouched. your hips buckle into his and starts grinding against his already hard member. your skirt from last night has already risen up, so the cool metals of his belt are grinding up and down your clothed core, making you squirm and moan into his mouth.

satoru breaks the kiss and you whine at the loss of contact. your lips immediately latch on to his neck, leaving small wet spots all over.

satoru groans. “fuck, need this off.” he puts his fingers around the waistband of your skirt and shimmies it off of you, leaving you exposed in your thong and have ripped bralette.

your hands immediately get to work and unbuckles his belt. your hands fumble as you unzip his pants and slide them halfway down, his erect clothed member coming into view. satoru lets out a throaty breath as you start palming his hard member and leaving kisses from his neck down to his happy trail. before you’re able to start kissing below the belt, satoru pulls your head up via bunching up your hair into a makeshift ponytail and starts to kiss you as he sits up.

“maybe we should take this into the shower…” he mumbles in between kisses. you nod and break off the kiss.

“what time is it?” you say, as you look around for your phone. you find it only to see that the battery is completely dead. frowning, you get up to charge it before continuing your activities with satoru.

“jesus, it’s 11 in the mornin’” satoru says, sounding slightly flustered. “fuck! i’m gonna be late for a lab meeting!” he says, as he starts to put his belt back on.

you frown. “so no shower sex?”

“i promise you, i want nothing more than to fuck your brains out in that shower.” satoru scrunches his eyes, and you wonder if he’s in genuine pain over the fact that he can’t. “but i unfortunately told nanami i’d personally talk to professor masamichi about his referral.”

“since when do you care about holding up your end of the bargain like that?” you say, cocking an eyebrow. you’ve known satoru for years, and you don’t think he’s ever showed up to a professional meeting on time, nor did he ever care to follow through with requests given to him by his peers.

“yeahhh, i know but nanami said he’s gonna send a deep web hitman for me after tricking him into my party and forcing him to be on my pool team…soo…”

“you’re so insane.”

“i think i’m going insane forfeiting pussy to go to a lab meeting, alright?”

you laugh softly. perhaps it’s probably a good time to let satoru go so you can begin your day. you have a laundry list of things to get done that thinking about it is enough for you to feel sick (showering, studying, talking to shoko without satoru there, and more things you know you’re forgetting). “well, thanks for offering anyway,” you say.

“c’mere,” satoru says, holding out his arms to you. you melt into the hug he gives you and look up.

“still seein’ you for study group later?” you ask him, recalling you, nanami, and haibara were planning to do some studying for your final at the university library later this evening.

“oh shit, yeah. gotta clean up the aftermath of last night at my place and then i’ll be there,” he assures you, before grabbing his phone. you quickly put on a pair of pajama shorts and replace your torn up bralette with an old sleeping oversized tee and lead satoru to the doorway of your apartment. you wave goodbye to him, and prepare yourself to have a potentially awkward conversation with shoko after what she saw this morning.

you scurry to shoko’s bedroom and knock twice on the door, and shoko immediately opens it and lets you in. you give her a pouty look, internally apologizing for the sight in the morning. it’s not necessarily that she saw you topless (you guys are roommates and nip slips happen), it’s more so that you were topless with satoru.

“glad to see you finally wearing clothes, you slut,” shoko says tiredly. you can detect a slight joking tone in her voice and it relaxes you immediately. you sigh softly.

“listen, shoko.” you start but hesitate. you want to tell shoko what really happened last night, but you remember you’re the one who didn’t want to tell your mutual friends about you and satoru. shoko and you have been best friends for so long and you can’t bear to lie to her or keep something from her. no literally, you tried to in the past but she saw through you within minutes and you ended up divulging everything to her. you figure now is no different, and you also trust her not to tell suguru or anyone else.

shoko snaps her fingers at you. “hello, y/n? where’d ya go?”

“i hooked up with satoru last night.” you say quickly, praying she doesn’t ask you to say it again.

shoko is silent and you cannot read her face for the life of you. “okay, it wasn’t even a hook up, i dunno why i said that. we just made out and like sortofmadeittosecondbasebutit’snotthatserious-”

your rambling is interrupted by shoko’s laughter howling across the room. shoko tries to calm down and collect herself. “wow, i mean, i sort of clocked it because of how you were this morning but oh my god? like it finally happened?”

you plop down on her bed next to her and shake her to make her stop laughing. “shokoo~ stop it! i was really horny last night, okay!” you’re scrambling to defend yourself from this blunder.

“yeah, but him? kinda…embarrassing, no? i mean i know he’s hot, like even i can attest to that but gojo is like…hot and insufferable…like i’m happy for you but at what cost to you?” shoko explains as she wipes away tears from her eyes from laughing too hard.

“i know, it is embarrassing and i dunno what i see in him but…when i see him…shoko,” you start rubbing your temples as you feel your headache coming on again. “i just wanna fuckin’ jump his bones, dude.” you think you hear shoko mumble something about how she cannot stand straight people. she has a point.

“so what now?” shoko asks, getting up from her bed and grabbing her scrubs from her closet, slowly getting ready for her shift at the hospital.

“well, for starters, you cannot tell anyone because we said we would keep it secret so you gotta pretend you dunno about this.” you go on to tell shoko about how you guys would continue to fool around casually. “it’s because we have so much going on and you know…i still wanna kiss toji.” wait, toji. toji’s text? did he respond. how could you have forgotten something you were obsessing over the whole night yesterday?! it finally hits you that satoru finally took your mind off of toji for a while, and that he could’ve finally messaged you back this morning.

shoko mulls this information over for a bit, and you already know what her next question is. “can i tell utahime? pleeeaaassseeee!” she whines.

“if you tell utahime she might actually kill me in my sleep.” you say exhasperatedly.

“no, no she won’t. she might want to take you for a psych eval or something but that’s it. she might throw up too, i guess. and she might cry for you. and she-”

“okay, i’ve heard enough.” you stop shoko, getting up from her bed and heading back to your room. before exiting shoko’s bedroom, you quickly give her permission to tell utahime but no one else. it’s quite pathetic how fast you run to your desk where your phone lay charging. your practically jumps out of your chest as you see 5 missed text messages from toji:

toji: Holy fuck, pumpkin 🥵 your titties are so fuckin insane. im so fuckin hard right now.

toji: Wyd tn?

toji: You’ve made me so hard right now n someone’s gotta help me fix this mess. Im bout to beat myself off to this pic fuck

toji: [1 Photo]

toji: [1 Video]

you open the photo he sent and gasp. it’s a photo of him in front of his mirror, shirtless, and him holding his clearly erect member, except it’s barely peeking through the granite counter tops of his bathroom. you open the video and see it’s a video of him…oh my god, it’s a video of him touching himself? you’re appalled and turned on because he looks so good in it and you wish it was you getting him off instead. you check the timestamp, and you’re embarrassed to realize he sent this around the time you were having your heavy makeout session with satoru or around the time you passed out shortly after.

the video continues to play as you strip yourself completely, creep to the bathroom, and turn on the shower. as you wait for it to get to the temperature you like, you continue to watch the video of toji stroking himself, and your hand automatically guides itself to your already wet and throbbing core. just knowing toji recorded this for your viewing pleasure (and it was indeed an immense pleasure viewing it) turned you on so much that you felt near your climax already. you start rubbing harsher circles on your delicate bundle of nerves, until you’re unable to hold back any longer. the sound of the shower blocks out your throaty moans, and you end up coming undone around the same time as toji does in the video. you breath heavily as you see white streaks painting toji’s shower, not dissimilar from your location.

through heavy breaths, you quickly send a picture of your fingers resting and covering the bare “v” on your body. this time, you immediately get a response.

toji: Fuck pumpkin, you left me all alone last night and now you do this?

immediately you respond back, biting back a smile.

y/n: you’re the one who left me hanging all day :( i had to cum all by myself just right now looking at your video daddy

you hit send and it’s been only 10 seconds before you see that toji is ringing you. you let it ring a little bit longer, not wanting to sound desperate for him, even though you totally are. “hii toji~” you say sultrily.

“pumpkin, you better come over tonight.” toji’s husky voice sends shivers through your spine, and you have to physically stop yourself from rolling your eyes in pleasure. god, this is just what his voice does to you? you want him bad.

“hmm, why should i? i’m hurt after you ignored me all day, toji.” you try to sound strict and upset over the phone but it’s hard when your body is already ready for another orgasm.

“aww don’t gimme that,” toji coos. “i’ll take care of your pretty little puss- oh whoops, megumi is here, but you know what i mean.” you can hear him smirking on the other line and you almost get second-hand embarrassment from him almost saying a bad word in front of megumi.

“how can you take care of me when you don’t even respond to my texts?” you whine. “go fuck the other girl you were fucking last night instead of me.” oh wow. you don’t know where that came from, but the hangover you have right now is making you feel brattier than usual. and you actually do want to know what he was doing (or who) all day yesterday, even if it makes you a hypocrite since you were with satoru last night (and this morning).

you hear toji roar with laughter, a little too much in your opinion, and you pout. where does he get off laughing about how he ghosted me last night? “okay, if you must know…megumi got himself some classic food poisoning from the parent-teacher conference.” though the parent-teacher conference feels decades away, your heart drops for poor megumi and you gasp. “calm down pumpkin, he’s fine now so don’t worry. his friends just made him eat somethin’ weird on the playground, i think.”

“oh my god, toji!” you say horrified. “okay, i’m coming over tonight with some soup. and not for you okay, for megumi.” who are you kidding? you’re also partially going so toji could fuck your brains out but you’re not about to give him that satisfaction.

“whatever you say, pumpkin. see you at 6:30? i’ll make dinner.” ugh, he always knows what to say to sound so romantic and you fall for it all the time. plus, seeing a domestic toji in the kitchen…god you can’t even think about it because you might end up screaming at how horny you might get.

“see ya, daddy.” you say jokingly. toji and you say goodbye and hang up. you quickly shoot a text to your study group quickly making up an excuse as to why you can no longer come. while nanami and haibara respond in the group with thumbs ups, satoru messages you privately.

satoru: wtf i didn’t know fucking you this evening was still on the table?

you furrow your eyebrows in confusion. what the hell is he on about?

y/n: what r u talkin about u weirdo

satoru doesn’t respond, and you’ve been wasting so much water already having an entire phone conversation with toji and, admittedly touching yourself that you might as well get in. the hot shower envelops your sore body, and before you’re able to fully wet yourself, you hear the ding of your phone. you really shouldn’t…but you were never good at controlling yourself. you quickly open the shower and bring your phone in, shielding it from the water.

satoru: u obvi cancelled to see toji im not stupid

y/n: no comment

satoru: cancel on him i promise u baby i will fuck u better and harder tn

your eyes widen at the offer. you recall a couple nights ago refusing a similar offer he texted you, but this time felt more serious. you want to see toji, but you also want to see satoru. you’re about to mull over the options before an image of a sick megumi pops into your forehead, and you immediately know you have to go to toji to at the very least see megumi and maybe read him a couple bedtime stories and help him with some missed homework.

y/n: toji’s kid got food poisoning :( i feel like i should go see him but…let’s link tomorrow?

satoru: he’s using his kid to get pussy that is insane. but yes ok fine cya -_-

you chuck your phone outside the shower, and close your eyes. you try to think of things that don’t involve sexy moments with satoru or toji…or satoru and toji and instead think of how much extra studying you have to get done tonight since you’re opting to go to see toji. as always, you fail to think of anything else.

the timer for the soup you’re making for megumi beeps and you turn it off hastily, determined to finish up one last problem set before going to the kitchen. through some miraculous intervention (and advil), you were able to hunker down and solve through the problem sets you were supposed to solve with your study group and prepare a simple chicken soup for megumi. after five minutes, you check your work hastily, before deciding it’s enough for you to get full marks and sprint to the kitchen, which now smells like chicken stock and veggies and you hum. you’re excited for megumi to try the soup your mom had made for you whenever you had food poisoning.

you go back to your room and finish packing your bags and picking your outfit for the night. since you’re just staying indoors with toji, and the weather says it’ll be a pretty warm evening, you opt for your comfiest pair of fleece shorts and a well loved collegiate sweatshirt. you’ve perfected the art of a “no makeup” makeup look throughout the years, so you’re able to get by with just throwing your hair in a messy bun and calling it day. you quickly grab a large to-go soup container for the soup and pack your bags to head to toji’s place.

you hate feeling like a child but just merely thinking of seeing toji after him being so distant with you yesterday has your heart doing cartwheels like you’re in fifth grade with a crush. you’re also excited to see a domestic toji in action in his fancy kitchen. maybe a bit too excited, you think, as you feel the wetness pool around your core. god, snap out of it already! the night hasn’t even started yet.

you drive into toji’s 4-car driveway, only to see toji’s garage door open. huh, that’s weird. you normally park in his driveway (he’s asked you to so you’re not left walking to your car during the late nights when you babysit) so you pull up anyway, despite the confusion. you see toji’s head peek through the garage door inside and he looks…oh, he looks kinda upset. you’re about to get out of the car and meet toji but he starts to walk towards you, his face only softening a tiny bit, which is unusual. oh, something must’ve really annoyed him.

you open your car door and get out halfway to talk to toji. “hey toji, you okay? what’s wrong?” your voice is laced with concern. once toji gets within arms length of you, you reach up and start rubbing his chest in an effort to sooth him.

toji grunts, and quickly leans down to peck your lips. “sorry pumpkin, megumi just told me he signed up to bring brownies for his soccer potluck early tomorrow morning. n’ they gotta be homemade.”

you furrow your brows even more in confusion. you know about the monthly potlucks megumi has with his soccer team on the weekends, but there’s usually some silly theme to them (last month’s was barbie themed so everyone had to bring in something pink). you guess this time around the theme is homemade meals and treats. “what’s the issue? there’s still plenty of time to grab something from the store…”

“the issue is i wanted to use that time to cook something nice for my son’s insanely hot babysitter, y/n.” toji replies bluntly.

“ohh~” it came out of you by accident, and you’re a little embarrassed as you feel the heat rising to your cheeks. “th-that’s fine toji. you don’t need to-”

“i wanted to…and then i wanted to eat her pussy for dessert.” his eyes darken and he smirks coyly. toji pulls your body closer to his and leans down to give you your first proper kiss of the night. your arms wrap around his neck, which he uses as a signal to deepen the kiss by inserting his tongue into your mouth. you allow him and his tongue wastes no time exploring every inch of your mouth. you find yourself moaning into the kiss softly and tugging on his hair, until you hear megumi yell for toji from the garage. you both immediately snap back into a respectful distance apart.

“daddy, i’m ready to go.” megumi says, his voice slightly tired. you grab your bag and soup container from your car and walk inside the garage to greet megumi, who’s eyes beam when they see you. he runs to you for a hug, which you gladly return with one hand.

“hey there, kiddo. heard you were sick last night,” you say pityingly.

“yeah i ‘frew up because yuji and nobara dared me to eat some weird smelling cheese from the cafeteria.”

you make a disgusted face. “megumiii, you have to stop doing stuff because you think it’ll make you look cool. it’s just gross.” you stand up and turn to toji. “i made him some chicken soup, it’s still warm so be careful but i think it might help him out.”

toji thanks you and takes the soup and your bag from you. he tells you to wait out here with megumi while he quickly puts it inside the fridge. you turn to megumi sympathetically again. “how are you feelin’ now, bud?”

“i’m totally fine now!!!” he says very energetically, doing various dramatic stretches to supposedly “prove” that he was all good. “but…daddy’s mad because now he has to make brownies instead of dinner for us.”

“daddy will get over it, don’t worry.” you wink to megumi. “i’ll put in a good word for you. maybe i’ll even help you bake some brownies, kay?”

megumi’s eyes light up at the sound of baking a sweet treat with you, and it melts your heart. “really?! you mean it?!” you nod in response and give his cheeks a friendly pinch, causing him to laugh.

“what’s going on, you guys talking shit about me?” toji walks into the garage, and you finally get a proper glimpse of what he’s wearing: loose slim fitted grey sweats and a skin tight compression shirt (that perfectly shows off his toned chest), which he’s currently covering up (to your dismay) with a black fitted quarter zip. it almost makes you forget about how he swore in front of megumi. almost.

“toji! don’t say that word in front of your son, oh my god.” you playfully chastise him as you pretend to cover megumi’s ears.

“fuck, my bad. megumi, don’t say what i say.” toji says without a care in the world.

“shit!” megumi says out loud, and he’s about to say another word but you give him a disappointed glare, which makes him immediately stop saying more alleged swear words. “to be fair, i learn most bad words from nobara. she knows soo many…” okay, you need to dissect that later with him.

you notice toji reaching for his car keys and you start protesting. “wait, toji, i can drive us. my car is already open and in your driveway anyway…” you’ve never driven toji anywhere, and it’s kind of exciting to potentially have that opportunity now. toji seems to hesitate for a bit, purely out of ego of letting the girl he’s sleeping with drive him somewhere, but acquiesces. you give him a bright smile before taking megumi’s hands and heading to your car. you get him seated in the backseat of your mini cooper, and megumi marvels at being inside your car for the first time.

“woah! this car is so small and tiny and fun sized!” he says while laughing, and you ruffle his hair. finally, the first person to ever say something nice about the size of your car!

you shut the door and see toji already on the passenger side furrowing his brows while looking at your car. you know this look. you’ve seen this look on satoru and suguru, and any guy who’s over 6 feet tall and is riding in your car for the first time.

“pumpkin, i am not gonna fit inside here. let’s just take my car.”

“don’t be dramatic, you’ll fit. everyone fits inside this car. now get in.” you huff, already getting settled inside and putting on your seatbelt. toji get into the passenger seat, and the sheer weight of his build causes the car to shake. he adjusts his seat and tries to get as comfortable as he can. you see his legs are bent in uncomfortable angles as he puts his seatbelt on.

“this is the last time i’m getting in your tiny ass car, y/n. i feel like i’m about to die.” oh he called you by your name. he’s definitely hating this but…he did ignore you the whole day yesterday. sure, megumi was sick but it would’ve taken 10 seconds max to say that through text.

you start to back out of his driveway and drive to the nearby target. “you’ll get over it. also, i was thinking…” you make eye contact with megumi from the backseat and give him a wink and he returns one as well. “maybe i can help megumi with baking brownies, too. and maybe we can just order takeout instead? spend the rest of time helping megs get his rest for tomorrow?”

you bite your lip and turn to face toji during a red light. you hate to sound cocky, but you know he can’t resist you when you’re looking at him like this, and you’re right. toji obliges, but swears he’s going to pay for dinner regardless, and you don’t object.

megumi fills the car ride with random tidbits and stories from school and his sick day yesterday while you and toji entertain him. throughout the ride, toji alternates between holding your free hand and rubbing circles on your thighs while you drive, which you make a mental note of telling him not to do because it definitely distracts you from the road.

at target, the three of you grab ingredients for the brownies pretty quickly, before getting in a moderately long line. while waiting, your eyes wander and see the cutest black lace bralette (pretty similar to the one satoru destroyed last night). you really want to check it out, so you quickly tell toji and get closer to inspect it. the beautiful lace designs are just so your style, and the price range is perfect, too. you make another mental note to come back and make satoru buy it for you.

“like what you see?” toji’s voice startles you and you turn around quickly, and feel the heat rise to your cheeks. “i think you’d look sexy in it, for what it’s worth.”

“th-thanks, toji. i might get it later…”

“you should get it now. i’ll buy it for you. after all, your bralette got ripped last night, right?” what. the. fuck?

the color drains from your face and if you weren’t feeling hot before, you sure are burning up right now. your throat feels dry and you start stuttering. “wha-what are you talkin’ abou-”

“the one that…god what was his name? satoru? yeah, the one that satoru ripped, right?” toji is fully smirking amusedly now, and you look like a deer caught in his headlights at his mercy.

“h-how do you know th-that?” you say, your eyes widening at your (slutty) night out being caught by toji.

“oh, sorry, i thought you knew. i called you last night, pumpkin, remember?” toji inches closer to you and his pupils dilate. your breathing gets more erratic and heavy. what? no he didn’t. or did he? oh my god. it hits you that you answered his call via your body movements with satoru and you didn’t know. and you didn’t bother checking your call logs this morning because there was no missed call from toji since you technically answered it. oh my god.

“you made me so fuckin’ hard with that pic of your tits, y/n. i had to call you to help me get off, but it seems like you were too busy getting off too.” toji’s lips are inches from your ears, and you can feel his breath as he whispers in your ear, and it makes your eyes roll far back in your head. “i can’t lie, pumpkin, your moans while he was playing with you…” toji groans and you dare to look down his hips to see a tent forming in his gray sweats, making your breath hitch. “it made me so fuckin’ turned on that i just had to touch myself to it. but don’t worry, you didn’t miss much. i sent you a full video of it, too.”

you have to bite your lip hard to prevent yourself from moaning in the middle of the women’s section of target out of all fucking places, but you let out the tiniest whimper that only toji can hear.

“don’t worry, pumpkin. i’m not mad you were with someone else. you’re such a needy slut who needs to be taken care of, and when daddy can’t help, you have to find your own way, isn’t that right?” he grabs your jaw roughly and forces you to make eye contact with him. “answer me, pumpkin.” he says more forcefully.

oh, you are so finished. you are done for. your panties are a complete mess and you wish you had brought a second pair with you because they are just ruined. you swallow before answering toji with a shaky “yes daddy.”

toji releases your jaw, but not before giving your lips a quick peck that leaves you wanting more. way more. he squeezes your ass, which you don’t expect and let out an unfortunate and embarrassing squeak, causing a handful of people nearby you guys to turn around and wonder about the noise for half a second. toji grabs the bralette and heads back to the line where he made megumi wait with the cart. you take a moment to yourself to process the information toji revealed and get your breathing under control before heading back. you feel like maybe you should be upset about this, but…it’s just turning you on? those forbidden feelings you’ve been having about satoru and toji taking you at the same time are bubbling to the surface with toji’s confession, and you force them down unsuccessfully. toji’s a fuckin’ freak but that just turns you on even more.

in the car, you’re still unable to properly hold a conversation with megumi and toji properly because of how flustered you are. you crack a window open, and you bite your lips so hard that you’re sure you bruised them when toji places his hand on your thigh again. a mangled moan gets stuck in your throat and you cough quickly to cover up any suspicion.

“s-so, what are we gonna do for dinner? t-takeout? where?” you stutter, quickly trying to regain your composure.

“i want taco bell!” megumi yells excitedly from the backseat.

“megumi, y/n is our guest here. we can’t just take her to taco bell. think of a nicer place than that. what about panda express?” toji turns around to chastise megumi, but his hands are still firmly gripping your thigh.

you cough again and wish you had a bottle of water to help your dry throat. “i love taco bell! let’s go, it’s okay, toji.” you press to start the car ignition, and ride to taco bell is anything but silent, with megumi talking about the countless items he wanted to get from taco bell, and toji dissuading him from doing so.

“even if you’re feeling better, why in the world would you want to eat a chicken crispanada? who even told you about that?” toji asks exasperatedly.

it’s probably yuji, he’s always eating something weird.

“yuji told me about it.” megumi says without missing a beat, causing you to smile. by the time you pull up to the taco bell drive-thru, toji has talked down megumi to reduce his never ending list of taco bell items, but not by a lot (“he’s a growing boy!” you told toji).

toji does the honors of remembering everyone’s orders and responding to the cashier when he asks what the order is. “yeah, uh, hi, can we get 5 crunchy tacos, 1 mexican pizza, 1 chicken crispinada…”

“CINNABON DELIGHTS!” megumi interrupts from the backseat.

“yeah, uh, the 12 pack cinnabon delights…” toji looks over at you to get your order. you whisper to him you want a crunchwrap supreme and he frowns when that’s the only thing you want. “you gotta have something else, pumpkin…” he encourages. you know you probably should, but there’s no way you can eat as much as him and megumi, which makes you hesitate.

“i just don’t think i can finish another thing by myself…” you say quickly, knowing the cashier might be getting annoyed at how long it’s taking for you guys to order, but toji doesn’t seem to care.

“we can split some nachos, yeah?” toji squeezes your thigh reassuringly, and you smile and nod.

“yeah, and maybe a nacho bell grande? that’s all for us.” the cashier sounds bored and he tells you guys the total and asks you to pull to the front. in the front window, the bored cashier’s expression immediately changes when he looks at you…wait. not you.

the cashier immediately straightens up and adjusts his shirt. he looks almost nervous as he reads out loud the order you guys have, but stutters every time he looks up and makes eye contact with…toji. he stutters out the total, and toji smirks at him while he takes out his wallet and pulls out his card, passing it to you to pass to the cashier. the cashier hesitates to run his card, and it looks like he’s deep in thought before he starts to speak, this time more confidently.

“um, actually, sir, we’re having a new promotion if you’re interested…”

toji hums in response. “and what’s that?” he asks it so sensually that you have to do a flabbergasted double take between the two of them. is this what you think it is?

“you see, the meal’s on the house…in exchange for your number.” the cashier coyly returns a smile to toji, not breaking eye contact with him, and as a result, totally ignoring you and megumi in the car. you sneak a glance behind you at megumi and you’re surprised to see him looking completely bored and unamused by what’s happening.

“gimme a pen and the receipt and you got it, sugar.” toji’s response is a bit too quick for your liking, but you’re still in shock as a quickly jots down his digits before handing the receipt back to the cashier and pocketing his card. the cashier winks at him as you drive up to the second window for your food and toji looks completely unphased by what just transpired. you turn to look at him incredulously, with wide confused eyes and your dropped.

“what…was that?!”

“jealous? don’t worry about it, pumpkin. not the first time someone’s asked me my number for a free meal.” he chuckles, still nonplussed about the entire interaction.

you shake your head, baffled. “w-what? so you’re telling me multiple are just? into you like this? also i’m not jealous!”

toji shrugs and grins. “guess so. i mostly care about the free meal, and currently, my eyes are for you.” he assures you by squeezing your hands quickly and giving you a quick kiss on the cheek.

you laugh at how absurd it is. no way he’s flirting with cashiers for a free meal. you make a mental note to tell shoko about it later, even though you know it will just fan the “toji doesn’t have a job” flames even more. “oh my god, you’re a slut! you, like, just give it up real easy, huh?” you tease, but you make sure to mouth the word “slut” so megumi can’t hear the foul language.

“you’re one to talk,” toji says, and you both laugh as you get your food and drive home quickly before the food gets cold.

at toji’s place, toji helps set the dinner table for megumi, while you offer to start on the brownies since you weren’t as hungry. toji sits at the dinner table with megumi, and you both entertain him and his jokes and stories as he eats his dinner hungrily. after a particularly disgusting story about yuji eating a worm on the playground (“this is why you’re getting food poisoning so much, megs!” toji says while you chastise him once again about the dangers of peer pressure), you can feel megumi’s voice get lower as he gets more tired. it makes sense – he had a rough day yesterday, and so he’s more tired today.

“someone’s sleepyyyy” you sing and lightly tease megumi, as you fill up a cup of water for him.

“i’m not! i’m very awake and i can watch-” megumi is interrupted by his own yawn which he fails to hide from either of you. “i can watch some tv. i need to watch more euphoria…” he pleads.

“what is this show you’re watching?” toji questions, looking at megumi quizzically as he starts throwing away trash from megumi’s dinner. your eyes widen and before megumi answers, toji cuts him off. “doesn't matter. no tv for you because your body needs to recover and you need to sleep early tonight.”

megumi pouts so hard that tears begin to brim his eyes. “but this isn’t fair,” he whines.

toji picks him up with one arm with ease (did his biceps get even bigger?). “tell you what, you go to sleep early, and let me and y/n bake your brownies for you. and i promise you i’ll let you have a brownie for breakfast tomorrow morning.”

you shoot toji a frown. you always try to prep some overnight oats or pancakes or something more balanced for megumi to have in the mornings after you leave, but you know toji has to lose some battles to win some to avoid a crying temper tantrum tonight. toji shrugs as he looks at you and throws the remaining trash away, as megumi immediately cheers up hearing about his impending brownie breakfast.

toji turns to you. “gonna put him to bed, be right back, pumpkin.” he gives you a quick wink which sets your heart ablaze, thinking about what the rest of the night will hold. your dinner is probably cold but you don’t care as you’re back in the target clothing section, toji’s words sending a chill across your spine and drying your throat. you both haven’t gotten alone time since then, and, as much as you hate to admit it, you feel yourself getting wet through your panties.

you take a seat after setting out the ingredients for the brownies on the granite counter, and have to cross your legs to prevent your thoughts from getting too dirty too fast…

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yujisbsf · 5 months

Text

✵ 𝐢 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮. 𝚐.𝚜.

𝙋𝙧𝙤𝙡𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙚:

𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐚 𝐜𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐡 𝐨𝐧 𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐝𝐲 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐜𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐡, 𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧. 𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐡𝐢𝐦𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐝, 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐡𝐞 𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐚𝐲 𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐨, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮. 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐨 𝐭𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐝. 𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐬 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮.

𝘾𝙤𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙒𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜:

𝐃𝐫𝐮𝐠𝐬 / 𝐝𝐫𝐮𝐠 𝐚𝐛𝐮𝐬𝐞 / 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 / 𝐤𝐧𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐬 & 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐛𝐢𝐧𝐠 / 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐩𝐮𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 / 𝐧𝐮𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐲 / 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡 / 𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 / 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭𝐲 / 𝐯𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐭(𝐩𝐮𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐰𝐢𝐜𝐞) / 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠.𝐢𝐬𝐡(𝐢 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐚 𝐛𝐚𝐝 𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠...) / 𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐝 / 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐀𝐔 / 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐟 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 / 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐢𝐟 𝐢 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠.

𝙀𝙭𝙩𝙧𝙖 𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜:

VERY OUT OF CHARACTER getou and i mean very. also not glorifying any of this. read note at end for context.

𝙀𝙙𝙞𝙩:

i thought it would be cool if i wipped my mac out and put some gradient on my words but thenbthe website crashed and i give up.

4.1k w.c.

✮

more utc.

The lights shining above the highway, illuminated the road, and slowly flashed into your car in a pattern.your car clock said 1 am.

your plane didn’t land but an hour ago, and you had rushed to your car, eager to get home.

you had been visiting family, in your home state. your grandma passed away and you had to go to the funeral. if your being honest you didn’t want to go, it was a break though.

but this break couldn’t get you away from him and you couldn’t get your mind off of him. you wish you could’ve though. it would be nice to have an real break.

but alas, you can’t have a break, you have two full time jobs, the one you went to college for, and the one you have at home taking care of a 24 year old man.

he’s insufferable. you hate him…lie. you love him, you wish he would change, ask for help, something. you are tired of taking care of this grown man like some toddler. but no one can make him change but himself.

you weren’t madly in love with him, or blindly in love with him, you just… loved him. you are worried about him more than anything.

you could just… leave him. but what would that do to him? he’s not a stable minded person, he used to be but not now. something happened and and he hasn’t pressed the breaks on his accelerating problem.

your sticking around to make sure he actually takes care of himself, and doesn’t die, and of course the fleeting hope you’ll get back the old him. you were scared to leave him alone. that’s why you almost made up an excuse of being really, really sick to skip your own grandmothers funeral(!) and make sure he doesn’t do something life threatening. so really, you might have left for a couple days, but you didn’t have the break you needed.

you understand he’s mostly using you as his support for.. well everything, mentally and physically and everything in between. you drive him everywhere, you make sure he eats, sleeps, make sure he showers and things like that.

and what’s worse is he knows how bad of a state he’s in, and he may be one mean man, but at least he’s grateful for you.

he’s really not lying when he says he’ll go crazy if you ever leave him, your his support. will you ever leave him?….no.

you can’t, as much as your his support, he’s your support to. the two of you have been through so much together, you could never leave him. you think of him constantly. you may have gotten a break from life at home, but your brain was running wild with thoughts of “is he okay?”, “he’s not answering my calls, oh no”, “god, i hope he’s staying at home.”, “i hope he’s not somewhere dead”.

this may be illegal, but you had a tracker in his wallet. you don’t know how he hasn’t found it yet. he never goes anywhere without his wallet. is any of the money his? no. is it yours? yes. is he going to buy illegal substances with your money? yes.

that’s what he’s doing right now, at some playground a couple miles from the apartment you two share.

you turned your blinker on and pulled into the parking lot once cars had stopped coming. you saw him laying in the slide at the bottom with a couple of his “friends” around him. heaven only knows what he has his hands in now. you slung your door open and didn’t bother turning off the car or closing the door.

this is where you find him all the time, with his little group of friends that just keep feeding into his list of addictions.

he raised his head off the slide at the sound of mulch crunching, and when he saw you, he scrambled to his feet and practically lunged at you. he does this every time you come searching for him, and once you do find him , he’s all attached to you and crying, or he can be meaner than the devil. this time it’s the crying gig.

“you’ve been gone for four days! please! please don’t ever do that again!” ,he practically sobbed into your shoulder and if looks could kill, the other four sitting around the slide would be dead by now. you hated them, you hated them so much.

“did you at least make sure suguru ate.”, your words laced with a tone of hatred, and you believe if he wasn’t sobbing into your shoulder you would’ve kicked all their lunatic heads into the ground and happily taken assault charges.

“god lady, we’re not that bad, yes we made sure he ate, and we told him if he actually stayed at his house we’d let him have something speci-” he was cut off by spit coming in contact with his cheek bone. he was disgusted, appalled that you had spit on him, he wiped it off and got up to leave. his mini psychos followed.

you kicked him in his “man area” , before and he cried. because theres no way he has a real man area, he’s a pussy. they just tend to take your beatings and leave.

you rearranged the man on your shoulders and dragged him to the car, you put him in the front seat, after you moved your bag to the back and buckled him in.

you closed the door and went to the drivers seat, and closed your door. you had nothing to say, what was the point in lecturing him, again. and again. and. again.

he said your name quietly and turned to look at you while you pulled out of the small parking area and onto the street. “i really did do our daily schedu-”

you cut him off, not really wanting to hear him try and explain himself to you, “i believe you suguru.” was all you said the whole car ride. the “daily schedule” was just times when he needs to eat and take his meds.

and once you were home he had fallen asleep. you turned the car off and let your head hit the head rest behind you, and you closed your eyes. after a good minute you felt something touch your hand. you opened your eyes to find suguru trying to reach for your hand. he never reaches for you?

he wasn’t looking at you. he had his back facing you, like he was mad at you. so why is he still trying to reach for you?

you slithered away, and got out of the car before he could get a good grasp. you want him inside the house and out of this car.

once you got him positioned in a way that he can somewhat help himself walk, you dragged him up to the door, and unlocked it. you drug him to the couch and sat him down.

you turned around to go and get your stuff from the car, and once you came back you closed the door and locked it. you ran your stuff to your room, and quickly changed into some shorts and a tank top. you walked back into the living room and started taking his shoes off.

you then drug him to the bathroom, and helped him take the rest of his clothes off, they smelled awful. he sat on the toilet lid while you ran the bath. once it was half filled with warm water you helped him get in and sat him to where his back was facing you.

the first time he snuck out and you went searching for him, he smelled awful and needed a bath, you tried to get him to take one himself but he wouldn’t. you and him had never seen each other naked and you didn’t want to step over boundaries even at that stressful time. but when you heard the shampoo bottle fall and then him fall you have given him baths ever since.

it’s not awkward anymore. he doesn’t find it awkward anymore. it’s just something that needs to be done. you still have him wash his private areas because you feel that’s to far.

you picked up the shower head and got his hair wet, then you put some shampoo in your hands and went to washing his hair.

his hair was something you loved, you would sit and play with it for hours a couple years ago when you had first bought the apartment together. if he’d actually take care of it himself, and take regular showers, he would have beautiful, healthy hair again. but right now it was always greasy and had tats in it and was frizzy. you hated it.

you practically feel like your taking care of an old man. you do almost everything for him. you cook for him, you clean his clothes, you give him baths when he can’t take one himself, and you quite literally tuck this man into bed.

you do all of that, but when your at work, he sneaks off and goes to be with his buddies. every, single, day. and the days you stay home, you would think he’d be generous enough not to go out. but oh he’s not, he still walks right out of the house while your in the bathroom or something.

so the only time you know he’s safe, is when your physically taking care of him. and that’s why you don’t mind doing all these things for him. as long as he’s with you, alive and breathing, you don’t care what he needs from you. you just need him here, you can’t loose anything else.

you rinse his hair and the shampoo comes out and you put in the conditioner. while that’s setting you have him stand up, you rinse his body down, and then you grab the wash rag and began washing his body.

you wash his back and his arms, his chest,and his legs, but you ask him to wash everything else.

once he’s done you take the shower head and rinse his body off, you then grab the stool, and step up on it. your not much shorter than him, but you need to reach the top of his head to rinse his hair off, and you don’t want him to sit back down into the dirty, soapy water.

you turned the water off and helped him step out, you then pulled the stopper out of the drain, and let the water out. you grabbed the towel and started drying his body off, then you dried up his back and put the towel on his shoulders so his hair would not drip down his back anymore.

you then grabbed the towel from below and started drying, and wringing out as much water from his hair as you could putting some product in it to help it not get frizzy, before you twisted it up into a clip. you grabbed a thick head band and pushed the rest of his loose hair in the front,back.

while you we’re doing that he was lazily drying the rest of himself off. and now that he was done, he grabbed your shoulders and you help him slip into some boxers and some shorts. you then had him sit on the counter and you stood in front of him and washed his face and put a cream that would help his sunken in face feel not as dry.

then he followed behind you out of the bathroom and to the kitchen.

it’s the same thing every time you come find him. so he at least remembers not to upset you, and just go with the flow and answer questions.

but this time, you hadn’t spoke a single word to him. you reached up into a refrigerator and pulled out two different kinds of soup. he pointed to the one on the left, tomato soup, and you went to warm it up. he just sat there on the stool waiting for you to say something, and waiting for his food since he’s kinda hungry.

once he heard the microwave beep, he looked up to see you putting your phone down and pulling the soup out. you placed it in front of him, with a ginger ale in a cup and a spoon. ginger ales make him feel better he says.

you then walked back to your room to change into more comfortable and warm clothes, and then you used the restroom and cleaned up in there.

he sat there slowly slurping at his soup. he’d always wish you’d just shut up and just take care of him. but now he wonders if your close to just not caring anymore. your questions are always those of wanting to know what he did, and occasionally you’d ask why he does those things. he never gives you and answer for that one.

you came out of the bathroom and headed to the kitchen, you warmed up the other soup that was in there. you took your soup out when it was done and grabbed your drink and a spoon. you were about to walk back to your room till you heard your name.

he called you name, his voice was back to normal, no longer high pitched and quivering. you stopped and turned your head to face him.

he wasn’t looking at you again only had his hand to the side of him almost asking you to come back and hold it.

“yes?” you questioned, knowing he wouldn’t say anything else you turned around again and walked off.

“can you sit?” he still didn’t look at you, only pulling out the stool next to him. you were shocked, after everything, you two usually part ways in your own home and eat. never had he asked for you to sit there and eat with him.

you were hesitant, until he said it again. you slowly walked over there and sat your stuff down. neither of you spoke, only eating.

somehow you both finished at the same time. you sat there for a moment before you took the plastic bowls, and threw them away, then took the cups and spoons and put them in the dish washer.

it was full, so you started it and then walked around the kitchen cleaning it up, and wiping down the counters. you walked behind him, going to the coat rack next to the door, to grab your wallet out of your jacket. but you were stopped by his voice.

“wh..wait” his voiced wavered at the beginning and came out strangled. you while you spun around in a panic, maybe thinking he was going to be sick or something.

when you saw he still wasn’t looking at you, you knew he wasn’t about to be sick. but you were stumped at what he did want.

he picked himself up, still keeping his head low, and walked over to you. he stood in front of you and his hand lazily reached for yours again. when he finally got ahold of your pointer and middle finger, he held his breath.

he hasn’t touched you in what feels like an eternity. you touch him all the time. but not once has he actually reached out himself.

he didn’t know if you were real or not. his hand kept moving around yours trying to get a good grip on it. he stopped moving completely when your hand lifted his chin to actually see his face.

“are you okay?” ,the words sounded so distant to his ears. he was certain his face was too pale, and the obvious red was showing. he hasn’t willing touched anyone himself, in forever, it’s foreign, and it’s giving him butterflies, the nervous and embarrassed ones.

he was embarrassed about being so… so close to someone on his accord. he’s used to you touching him, and he’s fine with it, but it feels different to actually touch you himself.

his hand continued up your arm. ‘they don’t have the softest skin, but they never really did’ he thought as he watched his hand travel all the way up your arm. he forgot how you had felt, the eczema on your arms were proof you were real. he continued to follow his hand and then it reached your shoulder and he froze.

there was that scar. the one he put there. as many times as you have reassured him that the past is now nothing you care about, and that you had forgiven him a long time ago. he’s still wary about it.

you couldn’t remember how long he had been sneaking out or how many times you had got him, but one night you had found him back at home, crumpled up on the floor shaking, you bent down beside him after calling his name a couple times and when he didn’t respond you put your arm around him to lift him up, he was holding a pocket knife, and not realizing it was you, grabbed your arm and plunged the knife into it. he screamed and cried when he realized it was you. he was so scared he vomited on the floor then he tried stabbing himself but you stopped him. that was a mess to clean up.

it wasn’t a big knife, but it had went deep, but healed quickly. he got even worse after that incident because he doesn’t understand why you still stayed. why are you not afraid of him like everyone else is?

now he remembers why he doesn’t touch you himself. you are afraid of him, is what he’s convinced himself. he pulls away quickly but you grab his wrist and he stops. you place his hand back on your shoulder, and you grab his face with your other hand.

“i’m not scared of you. stop thinking i am. if i was, you’d probably be dead somewhere. you need to stop being afraid of me though. your afraid of being around me or hurting me. you’ve got to realize that i don’t care about what you did anymore. please. i want you back.” you tried to speak in a calm voice, but your voiced started wavering.

“how can i be me with out him.” he still won’t believe that gojo is gone. he won’t believe it. he denies it more than anyone you’ve seen lose a loved one has. it’s been three years since he died. and three years since you’ve been taking care of him. three god awful years of this messed up shit.

“suguru, i genuinely think it’s time you talk about this situati-” you were cut off my him pushing you against the wall.

“i cant! it hurts so much to even think about what happened with him! i cant. i.. ca..i cant.” his arms fell off you and he let him self plop to the floor, his head down.

you slid down on the wall and crawled towards him. “i believe you could. but not right now, your still not in the right state of mind.”

you two sat there for a long time till he coughed and then looked up at you.

you were tired of this game. you had tried multiple times to knock some sense into him, but you were tired. you’re pulling your last game card tonight, and if it doesn’t work your calling the cops on him. it’s the last thing you want to do, but he needs a real eye opener.

so you take a deep breath and slip from sitting on your knees to cross cross on the floor, facing him. you scoot closer to him and take a deep breath hoping this will work.

“ remember that time satoru took me out to town and you were not allowed to come?” you said while his attention was on you.

he was silent for some time till you asked him if he had heard you, “yeah…i stayed home and ate his leftovers knowing it would piss him off.” he said as his hand came up to his face to wipe his cheeks.

“well come here and let me show you what he bought me that day”, you helped him off the ground and led him back to your room and sat him on the edge of the bed. you walked over to your closet and pulled out a little step stool and stepped up on it and reached to the top shelf where a medium sized gray safe sat.

you grabbed it and stepped of the step stool and scooted it back to where it came from. you opened the top drawer on your desk and grabbed the keys. you then walked over and sat it on the bed and turned the keys and opened it up. suguru kept trying to peek around you to see what it was. you turned around with two jewelry boxes in your hands. you sat down next to him on the bed and handed them to him.

he opened them and he couldn’t believe what he was looking at. a two promise rings! one a silver band with your birthstone wrapped around it, and the other a smaller silver ring with his birthstone sitting in the prongs of the ring. they were beautiful, he sat there and stared at them for the longest time. he didn’t understand why he couldn’t look away from them.

“gojo always knew we had crushes on each other from the first time we had english together freshman year of college. i asked him why he bought these if me and you weren’t even talking, he told me that he knows his best friend would be happy with me and he thinks we would be cute. he wanted me to ask you out at that one pool party he was going to throw the following week. but he had passed before it got there, and i just never felt that it was right to ask you.” you had to look away from the rings, you always got so upset when you looked at them. everything you three had was flushed down so fast nothing could’ve prepared you for it.

it was silent for a moment or two until you heard heaving breathing from beside you and a choked sob. you looked back and suguru was holding the ring up to you, like he wanted you to put your finger in it. you lifted your hand and the ring slid onto your finger and he started crying even harder.

you reached for his ring and you slid it on his finger and once you had pulled your hand back he set the boxes aside and sprung at you with arms circling around your waist and pulling you into him. you both fell back onto the bed and you kept yourself propped up with one elbow while the other one wrapped around him to comfort him.

he sobbed so hard he was shaking you. you kept rubbing your hand up and down his back the feeling of the ring on your finger being so apparent to him. the two of you laid there for quite some time before he sat himself up and pushed the loose stands of hair out of his face and looked at you.

“i’m so sorry. i don’t want to be like this, i ruined everything we ever had, satoru wouldn’t be happy if he saw how i’ve turned out and how i’ve treated you. i don’t want to be scared of anything anymore. it makes me sick to my stomach thinking about how awful of a person i am. i know i need help, im willing. i want this to work out. i miss you.” he reached for your hand with the ring on it and bumped it against his.

he thought about what it would be like if you were his but it was right this time. he wanted to do this right. he couldn’t wait for everything to be right. and more importantly he wanted to make gojo proud.

you pulled him in for a hug and this hug was a happy hug, not like the ones you’d give him to calm down after he’d had some panic attack because of the drug he took. no this one was sweet and happy like the old ones.

you both pulled away and he grabbed your hand and held it. you squeezed it and smiled a closed lip smile at him, and he smiled back.

✮

𝙀𝙭𝙩𝙧𝙖 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙚:

the way i literally forgot about this and i’m just now remembering it(??). like just finished editing it and there’s still probably some mistakes but idk. no i am not romanticizing or glamorizing drugs or this behavior. i actually wrote this two years ago because i had a friend struggling that came to me and felt like i should write a story about how drugs change someone and the people around them. and this is to reach different people and help others realize that drugs are not okay, if your struggling please reach out, nothing is worth selling your life for. and this is showing two people who were close but pulled so far apart and then they came back together. i usually write happy stuff(no i dont) but angst was sitting in the back of my mind. anyways hoped you enjoyed this!!

also idk if this is really a “x reader” but i’m gonna tag it like it’s one

#jjk x reader #jjk fanfic #geto suguru #getou suguru #geto x reader #getou x reader #getou suguru x reader #gojo satoru #angst #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #angst with a hopeful ending #jjk x you #im sad at my own writjng

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emsgoodthinkin · 5 months

Text

As long as I’m with You

Steve Harrington x You (short)

Summary: Steve wakes up to another bad night you’ve had this week

Warnings: hurt/comfort, talks of poor physical and mental health, doctors, suicidal ideation, medication use, drug use, chronic health issues, BPD if you squint, disabilities, use of the word “girl” x times, negative self talk, mentions of sex, angst, fluff~~

This is based off my own experiences and inspired by my pal Morgan’s version; feel free to check hers out

Tick tick tick

The clock strikes 12 and then 1, 3, 5am in the morning, no sleep no rest it’s an every day cycle. The same shitty cycle.

It’s a new year, but not a new you.

Sitting in your walker in front of the excruciatingly bright television screen, high as a kite, everything in existence running through your mind 100 mph, sometimes the weed helps the pain. Sometimes it induces it or even makes it worse. Right now it’s doing nothing for you. Looking over at your loved one sound asleep. You don’t want to bother him with your whines or crying. So you just sit there silence, tears rolling down your cheeks; while you watch some bullshit on YouTube.

Sniff Sniff

“Baby?”

Shit.

“..yea?” you say in a whispered tone

“Are you ok? what’s wrong?”

“Ah, you already know”, you’ve used that line probably over a million times

Steve comes along your side expecting a few dried tears, but his eyes widen when he’s sees the collar around your shirt bitten, snot dribbling down your mouth and throat, crouching down, he lies his head onto your thigh looking up at you, “Talk to me sweetheart”

“No.”

“Hey, I know you’re hurting”—

“GOOD FOR YOU! Congratulations you know I’m hurting, you know I’ve been hurting for fucking years. I’m glad you’ve acknowledged it unlike some people”you sniffle getting up in a hurry to take a piss as he follows with sad eyes leaning against the door frame

“I’m fucking tired, I’m so goddamn exhausted nobody will ever know what I’m dealing with!”, you say wiping your ass not bothering to wash your hands, “I can’t do anything I can’t run, I can’t jump, can’t go to the stupid, fucking grocery store without one of those motorized carts.. my back hurts, my fucking knees are throbbing, stupid fucking nerves won’t calm down FUCK! It’s not like I can get in the bathtub to calm my muscles down. Nothing is helping! No medication, no PT, no injections, no nothing! Why?? am I just resistant to any source of help or treatment? I-I can’t even lay in the goddamn bed to sleep. That’s all I have left is rest!! What is rest!? I don’t know what the hell that even is”

“I know baby I know”—

“NO YOU DONT STEVE, all you know is what you see. I wouldn’t wish on our worst enemy, my worst enemy to feel what I feel. That’s how bad it all hurts. The most evil, sick and twisted person in this world, I would never wish this upon. I just..”, getting dizzy you collapse on the bed sobbing into your own hands, then eventually into Steve’s shoulder as he rocks you, tears spilling from his own eyes—

“Nobody cares, nobody wants to help me. nobody cares unless I’m rich and can afford to give them any and ALL the things off my back, but I can’t. Even with the money you make it will never be enough to help the poor girl who’s too young to have any kind of issue. It’s “all in my head” I’m just fucking crazy. I could break my own neck and still be told it’s only from anxiety. Nobody cares just”—

“I care” he exhales

“It doesn’t matter if you care, all your care is useless, all your help is worthless to me because it gets me nowhere. Nobody’s love and care gets me nowhere. It’s nothing all but fucking false hope. Don’t you get that? None of you still to this day seems understand that. Stop praying for me to get better. It’s never going to happen. I can’t take it anymore.. I just wanna die! All I wish for is to die but, I can’t even have that. It’s like all of you want me here, to live and suffer for the rest of my life for y’all, it’s not fair, fuck that”, your trembling, body in fight or flight

“Don’t say that, you know I’d do anything to take your pain away”

“It doesn’t matter what you’d do because you’re not a doctor. You’re not a professional, you can’t help me get better.. sucks to hear but it’s the truth Steve..fuck”—

Steve’s really trying not to beat himself up over your words, he knows you’re in pain, it comes from a place of anger, frustration and fear

“I have all these pain medications I could easily take all at once, so I’ll never have to wake up in this position ever again. Why can’t I do it huh? I could end right here right now you never have to suffer again, but I just d-don’t; If anything, I’m the most selfless person for staying alive for YOU just so I can be alive but in pain all over again for YOU!”, your tone getting higher and higher in pitch

“I-I’m sorry.. I wish I knew the right words to say baby”, he’s trying his best to stay strong for you

“You’ve got to be sick of me, tired of me. All I do is cause more money to come out of your pockets, more exhaustion, more burdening, more crying, more everything bad for you. You already deal with your own shit. I do nothing but make your own mentality worse, hell you’re making your own self worse being with a person like me. A broken and useless excuse of a human being. You deserve somebody who can go hiking with you, go to the beach, travel with, who can do the bare minimum. Can’t even fuck you properly—

“STOP! Stop that right now” he shouts

You freeze because he’s never raised his voice at you, atleast not on purpose at such a vulnerable time

“I hate it too. You know it hurts me to know that you hurt and I’m sorry that I can’t take the pain away from you. My sweet, sweet girl I’m so sorry that nobody has given you the chance to hear your voice, to help heal you..but I’m gonna make you the same promise I make you almost every single night. As long as I’m with you, I will try my best with all my power to make it a little bit more bearable for you to be here, and I am so grateful that you are still here and choose to be here with me for us to be together. I know you hurt, but as long as you’re with me, I’m going to do my best to put a smile on your pretty face, beautiful sunshine of a smile because you’re my sunshine.. y-your smile gives me life did you know that?”

You nod. He tells you all the time

“I- I’m tired for wishing to feel ok for my birthdays, every Christmas. All the shirts and posters you got me for Christmas? I haven’t even touched them yet, you know why? Because the selfish person in me doesn’t give a fuck about none of it. The only thing I care about and want and NEED is pain relief and that’s too much to ask for isn’t it? Apparently wanting to be better in the world it’s too much to ask for”

“You deserve to feel better”, he says while his hand travels up your back to rub your tense neck, “You deserve to be free from all of this and I can’t give that to you. You’re not selfish baby you’re hurting. I love you for you. I knew what I was signing up for, and if I didn’t want that I wouldn’t be here right now with you. I know the sacrifices Ill have to make, the tears I’ll have to shed, the strength it’ll take me to pick you up when you’re down, but I fell in love with you, how you are, and who you are”

“Who are you kidding Steve, you don’t even know who I am. The real me. I don’t even know who I am anymore. I wish you met me when I wasn’t sick then maybe you wouldn’t be so stressed out a-and.. and,” you start sobbing again, it’s all too overwhelming

“Hey, hey look at me, no. I met you at the right time. You need me just as much as I need you. You may not think you’re worth nothing but you’re worth everything to me. Yeah you have a good and bad days..—

“I’ve had nothing but bad days for the past few months Steve”-

“I know, I see it, I hear it and I witness it, I may not can feel it, but at the end of it all, you still love me. You’re still here. You still want to cook for me. You still get up to brush your teeth and I’m so proud of you for still trying to care for yourself. That’s the biggest job you’ll ever have, and it’s been a very hard job hasn’t it?

You nod, as he nods with you

“Yeah, it has, but you don’t have to do it alone anymore. I want to provide for you. I want to take care of you. You’re my girl, you deserve so much and as long as I’m with you, I will try every day, every hour, every second or minute, to make sure you know how loved, how great and how amazing you are. How great and amazing you’re doing for yourself and for me. How strong you are”—

—“im tired of having being strong all the time”, interrupting him

“I know you are. You are so strong for being on this earth, even when you don’t want to be. I wouldn’t ask for anybody else, you’re it for me always. Will you continue to let me try to make it better for you every day? To take care of you?”, he squats in front of you, cupping your wet cheeks, kissing your forehead

“But Stevie.. you know you’re getting your own hopes up because nothing you do helps either and I feel like a piece of shit for saying that because”—

“I know what you mean, you don’t have to be sorry. I understand you may not have hope but I do. All my Hope goes towards you and it always will. You are the most important thing in my life. I’m not gonna give up on you, on me or on us, ok sunshine?”

..”okay”, you repeat rubbing your temples

“Head hurt, darling?”

“yes”

“From crying too hard?”

You nod, looking away in shame, “It’s okay, I’ll get your Migrane cap from the freezer and i’ll set your pillows up how you like, just sit tight”, he says it standing then pausing at the doorway, looking over his shoulder, “I love you”

“luv you—

“Hmm? What was that, I couldn’t hear you” he exclaims

“I said love you gosh.. shut up”, you barely crack a smile

That was enough to get him through the rest of the night.

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x disabled!reader #steve harrington x ill!reader #tw sui talk #steve harrington x fem!reader #steve harrington x gn!reader #tw sick mention #mental health awareness #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington x chronically!ill reader #steve harrington x sick reader #steve harrington angst #stranger things #joe keery #chronic pain issues #bpd #spoonie

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