#i was lonely and feeling insane so i downloaded a dating app and i was confused abt my sexuality | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jeonbunnie · 3 years

Text

between you & me

pairing: reader x taehyung

anon requested: “could you write a fluff (and smut if you’d like) with idol!kim taehyung x non!idol reader piece with the song “between you and me” by betty who?”

summary: testing out a new dating app leaves you with more than just a online connection.

genre: fluff, smut; blind date au

soundtrack: between you and me— betty who

content/warnings: 18+, strangers to lovers, POV shifts, dirty talk, protected sex

a/n: this was supposed to be a lil drabble…but my hand slipped lol. also reader is wild for this don’t go home with strangers! do as I say not as I write lol. ty for being patient anon I hope u like it!

word count: 4.4k

♪ Just between you and me I can feel something here, wondering if you do, too ♪

Going on a date with a celebrity was the last scenario you imagined when you first joined Vibez.

Initially, you didn’t have any interest in signing up for yet another trending dating app. But you couldn’t watch Youtube without their commercial popping up or scroll through your feed without coming across their slogan: “love is blind.”

Maybe you were feeling a bit lonely, or you had too much wine, but in a moment of absolute insanity, you downloaded Vibez. There were no photos. Profiles only consisted of a person's bio and anonymous icon of their choice.

You were starting to resent that fact as you had no idea what to expect or who you were meeting on your date tonight. You only had a name.

Kim Taehyung.

You tugged on the hem of your little black dress then internally cursed yourself for fidgeting. You wanted to appear sexy, confident, and open—not like some awkward girl on her phone at the bar—but your anxiety was getting the best of you. You opened the app and sent him a text.

[ 7:01pm] 🦋: You're late.

You were joking. Kind of. Technically, it was only a minute past 7 p.m. but that minute started to feel like an hour. Sitting at a crowded restaurant alone on a Saturday night only seemed to edge on your nervous state. You got there a little early and ordered yourself a drink, but as the minutes passed on you were starting to wonder if your date stood you up. Just as soon as the thought crossed your mind you got a text back.

[ 7:02pm] 🐻: I would never show up late to our date.

[ 7:02pm] 🐻: I’m here.

You looked up from your phone, heart spiking in your throat as you scanned the crowd around you. You hated that he could be anywhere and you wouldn’t know it.

[ 7:04pm] 🦋: Here where?

[ 7:0pm] 🐻: I’m at the bar.

At the bar? You hadn’t noticed a man near your age around you. To your left, a group of party girls laughed amongst themselves and clinked champagne glasses. You looked to your right. Next to you, there was a man around his fifties cradling a beer in his palms. You shuddered at the thought. No. . . it couldn’t be, right?

You quickly turned away from him, already regretting your decision to come out on this blind date at all. You briefly covered your face with your hands and prepared yourself to sneak out as quickly as possible, ready to abandon ship. But when you looked up, the group of girls were gone, and someone else was there in their place.

His back was turned to you, and you couldn’t see his face, but he was tall, with a slim build and dark hair. This could be him? Maybe it was wishful thinking, but you hoped so; he looked like your type, and he was around your age. Your nerves took over again, but this time you fought against the instinct to run and crossed the space between you to tap him on the shoulder.

“Kim Taehyung?”

When he turned around, and you saw his face, the world seemed to slow all around you. Because he wasn't a stranger to you at all, you knew this face. You’d seen it on countless magazines, album covers, and across the red carpet. But now that he was standing in front of you, it felt like a dream, like you could hardly recognize him as real.

How could it be that your Kim Taehyung was the Kim Taehyung?

I mean, what were the odds?

“Y/n?” The rumble of your name in that dark voice you knew all too well had you weak in the knees.

“No way,” You said. “Is this some kind of joke? You’re not my blind date, are you?”

Taehyung laughed, the sound deep and hearty. “Wow, I wasn’t expecting that reaction. Would it be so bad if I was your date?

You startled, waving your hands as if to wave away any offense you might have dealt him. “Not at all! Sorry, it’s just? A little hard to believe.” When the algorithm matched you with a bear emoji named Kim Taehyung, you didn’t think twice about the name. Maybe you should have. But you were more focused on figuring out what to say when your phone pinned, letting you know he initiated a chat with you.

You never would've thought answering that message would have led you here, to him. He looked too good to be true sitting in front of you in a black dress shirt and jeans. You couldn’t help but eye him. Only someone as famous as him had the power to look so handsome while dressed casually.

Even if you had figured out the truth based on his name alone, you still wouldn’t have thought it to be true. Part of you felt like it was a prank; any second now a TV crew would pop up.

You felt silly even thinking that, but still, you had to ask: “Is this really happening?”

Taehyung read the look on your face. He thought of this scenario so many times. People reacted strangely when it came to his fame, and he figured you’d either be starstruck or repulsed. It was the whole reason Vibez appealed to him in the first place. He wanted to get to know someone honestly, without the haze of the lights clouding his image.

Texting you felt more like checking up on a friend than anything else. Phone calls became texts, and pretty soon, he’d stopped saying hello and started answering the phone with ‘hey you.’ It wasn’t long before he quickly found himself up all kinds of hours, laying on your side in bed with the phone pressed to his cheek and the biggest smile on his face.

There was something different about getting to know someone with only their words and the sound of their voice. He liked learning all your little tells; when your voice filled with worry or sleep. The pause on the line right before you’d let out a big laugh. The steady sound of your breath after you’d fallen off to sleep.

He liked putting a face to all that information, too. And though he hadn’t expected the disbelief on your pretty face, he was more amused than offended by your skepticism.

He offered you a genuine smile. “I am your blind date,” he said. “I know my identity comes as a surprise, but if it’s any consolation, I’m surprised by you, too. You’re even more beautiful than I imagined.”

Had anyone else had said that to you, the compliment would’ve been cloying, but coming from his lips, the words were saccharine sugar. “That’s so sweet of you to say, thank you.”

“I mean it,” he said, brown eyes so open and honest, you couldn't help but believe him.

So when he took your hand in his, you let him guide you to the empty barstool beside him, almost in a trance. You tried not to blush at the warmth of his hand and the heated eye contact he maintained. His eyes were magnetic, pulling you in; no wonder he was a teenage heartthrob. If he looked at fan cams the way he looked into your eyes, then you pitied the poor soul on the other end of that lens.

Still, you found the reality of your meetup all so strange. “I don’t get it. Why would—“

“—Someone like me ever use a dating app?”

You nodded, grateful that he knew exactly where your mind was at.

“Well, I was hoping you’d let me buy you a drink and give me a chance to explain.”

You narrowed your eyes at him playfully. “First, prove it.”

“Prove it?”

“I’ll let you buy me a drink if you can prove you’re the Taehyung I know online. Tell me something only the real Taehyung would know.”

“Okay. I picked the bear emoji in our Vibez chat.”

It took all your strength not to roll your eyes. “That doesn’t mean anything; it's a popular emoji. Anyone could have the same one.”

Taehyung cocked an eyebrow, amusement filling his eyes. “Okay, then. During your high school graduation, you tripped and fell in front of everyone and—”

You covered his mouth before he could finish. “How could you say something so embarrassing out loud?” When you told him about the public embarrassment months ago in private, you never imagined he’d repeat out loud.

“You forced my hand; you asked me to prove it?” He laughed, the sound of his voice muffled underneath your hands.

You pulled away from him, stunned. “I—it’s really you isn’t it?” All this time you’d been spilling your heart out to one of the most famous men in the world. You felt embarrassed and enamored at the same time.

Taehyung winked at you before he caught the eye of the bartender and ordered champagne for both of you. When your drinks came, and you took a sip of the sweet, sparkling wine, you realized he knew your taste exactly. You couldn’t help but be impressed.

“Okay, you won me over. Now tell me why.”

He gave you a sheepish smile. “It’s hard to get close to people and have them see me. I mean, see me. Not some image they made up in their heads.”

When you first started talking, there were some things he kept private. He wasn’t very specific about his job, obscurely telling you he worked in the entertainment industry. He avoided any talk about work with smooth transitions asking about your workday. Sometimes you let him get away with it. Other times you pushed back.

“You could’ve told me,” you said. “I would’ve understood.”

You heard the smile in his voice when he answered. “I know that. You’re my safe place. I just didn’t want anything outside of us to taint that.”

You could understand that. Taehyung was your safe place, too. You could confide in him, tell him anything, and your secrets would be safe with him.

“I don’t know. You make me feel like I’m not alone. And when we talk, everything else falls away. It's like. . . Right now, we’re in a crowded room, but it feels like we’re alone. Like it’s just you and me.” He paused, leaning in close.

You mirrored his body language till you were close enough to see the dark curl of his lashes, till you felt the heat radiate off his body in waves.

Taehyung looked down and licked his lips, pink tongue darting out. You knew it was probably a sign of him being nervous but the action had your thoughts straying elsewhere and it gave you butterflies. God, you only met him for five minutes and you already wanted him. You willed yourself to get it together enough to focus on his words.

“Am I crazy?” He whispered, making eye contact again. “Or is it like that for you too?”

You felt the same way. Something pieced together through all the late-night phone calls and the midday check-ins. The energy between you was like magic. There was an intimacy, one you’d never known with anyone else before. Normally on a date like this, you’d feel all kinds of nervous and awkward around someone new. But you didn’t feel that now. He felt so familiar.

“You’re not crazy. . . ” You said, heart thrumming in your chest.

For so long, the thought of meeting him frightened you. Talking to him was fine and all when it was just you, alone in your room. But you worried about what it would be like to bring your relationship outside into the real world.

If you were completely honest with yourself, you were a bit in love. You fell for him months ago getting to know him online. You fell for his heart, his character. His dreams and his worries and even the silly way he used emojis. You only hoped the feeling was mutual.

Dinner went by in a perfect blur. The champagne helped you relax, loosening any nerves you had, and once you started talking, you realized how little you had to fear. He was the same in person as he was in your private chats. The truth was—you liked him. He was funny and charming and down to earth in a way you hadn’t thought possible for a star of his magnitude.

And even though you were meeting for the first time, you could feel yourself falling for him a little more.

It took a little for you to get used to being in his presence. He was gorgeous, so good looking it almost hurt to look at him. Your attraction to him was through the roof. And the chemistry. . .You only had one drink, but you felt drunk from his presence alone.

As you winded down, a comfortable quiet drifted between you two. Somehow you ended up curled into each other, close but not close enough. You wanted more. To be closer, but any further, and you’d practically be on the man’s lap. Right now, the thought seemed tempting. If it were anyone else, the idea wouldn’t have ever crossed your mind. But it was Taehyung, your Taehyung. And after tonight, he felt so real, so personable to you it didn’t feel strange to want to connect with him at a deeper level.

Staring into his eyes, you felt completely and totally seen. To be known by such a perfect stranger. . .the irony didn’t escape you. You laughed to yourself, amused at the notion.

Taehyung smiled at the sound of your voice, eyes crinkling up in confusion. “What?”

“It’s nothing. I just had a thought.”

“Tell me? Please?”

You shook your head, suddenly bashful. “It’s too much for a first date.”

You didn’t want to scare him off with your feelings. Or be the first one to admit to having feelings, because what if he didn’t feel the same?

But Taehyung was persistent. He held your hand, rubbing small circles on the back. “Tell me anyway,” he said in that deep soothing voice.

You did your best to ignore the butterflies he gave you and tried to pull our thoughts together. “I feel like I know you. We just met, but it feels like I’ve known you forever. And…”

“And?”

You bite your lip. “I more than like you.”

Taehyug couldn’t believe his luck. He knew there was a slim chance of the date going right, of you wanting to see him at all. He’d thought as much but so much can be misconstrued over text. But to know his feelings weren't one sided, that he wasn’t the only one falling over the phone—

“Too much?” you asked, nervous.

He was so quiet for a moment you wondered if you made a mistake. Then something ignited in his eyes. The heat of his gaze stunned you, but you didn’t dare look away.

“I more than like you too.”

He was so close. The musky scent of his cologne—warm and woodsy— flooded your senses. Taehyung closed the gap, till there was nothing between you and him, till his warm lips met yours.

And then you were kissing him. His tongue slipped in your mouth, and you sighed at the taste of him, bittersweet from the champagne. And when his hand came up to cup your jaw, you all but melted in his palm.

You’d imagined this kiss so many times, and it didn’t disappoint. It was everything you expected and more. Maybe it was your connection, but the desire you felt for him was unreal. As sweet as the kiss started, it quickly turned into something hungry. when he licked into your mouth, swirling his tongue just right, you felt your stomach dip, pleasure building there.

And just like that, you were over the small talk. Suddenly you weren’t close enough. You wanted more. You’d risk it all if it meant you could feel his touch, his lips traveling elsewhere, your neck, your breasts, your thighs. . .

When he pulled away, you were flushed, panting, and desperate for more.

Girl, get a grip! You hoped he couldn’t see the look in your eye how badly you wanted him.

If the look in his eye was any indication, you weren’t the only one aroused after the kiss. Taehyung smiled, eyes glinting devilishly in the dark. “Do you wanna get outta here?”

You knew it was crazy and stupid to go home with someone on a first date. But one look at Taehyung, and you couldn’t care less.

Before you knew it, you’d gotten in his sleek black Porsche and were already en route to his apartment.

When Taehyung looked over to you at the red light, it made your heart stop. No one's ever looked at you like that. His stare sent a shiver down your spine.

“You're nervous?”

“I don’t normally do this,” you blurted out. You didn’t know if it was adrenaline or endorphins or what but you couldn't help but be honest right now.

“I know,” he said, smoothing a hand down your thigh soothingly. “Me neither.”

You couldn’t stop thinking about his huge hand, the veins there, and those long slender fingers resting on your inner thigh.

You squirmed in your seat a bit, thighs pressing together.

The touch was innocent enough, but when the tips of his fingers slipped past your dress and rubbed against your center, you couldn’t contain your moan.

Taehyung sucked in a breath, “You're so wet,” he said, fingers sliding your underwear to the side. When he rubbed against your soaping entrance, you threw your head back against the seat.

“Don’t tease me. It’s your fault,” you pant.

‘My fault, huh? You’re saying I made this mess?”

Yes. “You can’t look at me like that and expect me not to lose it.”

Taehyung cocked an eyebrow. “Oh? How did I look at you?”

“Like you wanted to eat me up.”

“I do. I can’t look at you without wanting to spread your thighs apart and eating you out till you come apart, till you beg me to stop.”

“But that’ll have to wait until later—I want you right now.”

It’s a miracle you made it from the restaurant to his place without crashing. All you can do is try not to melt when you share a glance with him in the glassy mirror of the elevator, but Taehyung was so composed.

No one would ever guess the dirty things he said to you in the car ride over.

Standing before you, he was the perfect gentleman, civil, calm, the only hint being the sly smirk on his mouth.

That mouth. You want it all over you. You want everything he promised. You can’t stop thinking about it.

As soon as the lock clicked in the door, you got what you wanted; he was all over you. Kissing down your neck, sucking hickeys into your skin that you knew would leave marks later.

His hands dug into your thighs, hiking your legs up to wrap around his legs, and then you were pressed between him and the door in the most delicious way.

You arched your back and rolled your hips forward, aching to feel more of him, and Taehyung moaned in your mouth, the sound making you clench around nothing.

“Fuck,” he said, pulling back. “Now, who’s teasing?”

You giggled and cupped the back of his neck, kissing him again. You couldn’t get enough of him. You hadn’t meant to tease him, but you’d do it all night if it meant you’d get to hear that sound again.

Taehyung, however, had other plans. He couldn’t go another minute without feeling your skin on his; he carried you to his bedroom and laid you down on his plush sheets.

All at once, you felt incredibly vulnerable, incredibly aware of what was about to happen between you. You fantasized about having Taehyung so many times; you almost didn’t know what to do with him and now that it was real.

Taehyung saw it all over your face. He took a step back from the bed. “If you don’t want this, just say the word. Tell me to stop; and I’ll walk away.”

That was the farthest thing from your mind. You wanted him to stay. You wanted it to mean more than just a hookup, more than just a one-night stand. You couldn’t bear it if the electricity you thought flowed between you was one-sided. But you were willing to take the risk.

“I don’t want you to stop.”

Taehyung leaned down and kissed you as he climbed on the bed, the slightest smile on his lips, “That’s all I wanted to hear.” His hands traced up your thighs, sliding your dress up as you lift your arms, letting him tug the garment off you. You followed suit, ripping him out of his clothes as well.

You felt hot under his eyes lingering over your body now that you were bare before him.

Taehyung touched you gently, hands grazing up your sides as he looked at you in awe. You were beautiful; art made flesh. His fingers swept across every curve, taking in the masterpiece that was your body.

“You’re breathtaking. . .” he said.

You couldn't respond, too wrapped up in the feeling of Taehyung's hot, wet, mouth trailing down your chest while his hand explored between your thighs, dipping a finger inside you. You’re so wet it's easy for him to slip one inside you. And even though he’s easing inside you just right, you’re craving something else.

“Taehyung, I want you now.”

He paused, pulling back to look at your face. “Are you sure? I don’t wanna hurt you.”

You both knew he could. You could feel him hard against you now, long and thick. Somehow you didn’t care. Touching wasn’t enough. You needed him inside you.

“Please? I can take it.”

“Fuck.” When you begged for him like that, how could he say no? You didn’t need to ask him twice.

Taehyung shifted, grabbing a condom from the bedside table and rolling it on before he crawled over to you, spreading your thighs apart with his knee. You felt the tip of his cock nudge against your entrance, then he pushed into you slowly, inch by inch, until he was fully seated inside you. You gasped, eyes screwed shut, as you felt the burn of him stretching you.

Taehyung kissed you sweetly, sidetracking you from any pain. Though you certainly felt it, you couldn’t help but feel full and satisfied being closer to him than ever before. You were forehead to forehead, nose to nose.

You felt those butterflies again, doubled with the pleasure of feeling him inside you.

When you felt your body relax against his, Taehyung moved, grinding deep and drawing a moan from you both. You were so tight; the feel of your walls squeezing him was dizzying.

“You feel so good,” he rasped, voice rough, “Like you were made for me.”

You wrapped your legs around his waist, drawing him even closer as he picked up the pace. Taehyung thrusts were sensual, hips rolling against yours in a way that made you cry out. Every stroke had you falling closer to the edge.

With chests pressed together, you weren’t sure if the thumping beat between you was his heart or yours. Everything molded into one; his pleasure was yours, and yours his.

You wanted to stay in the moment, blissed out and bound to him, but you already felt yourself getting lost in the feeling of being filled in the most perfect way, over and over again.

Taehyung could feel you getting close—he was too. He hooked his hand behind your knees, folding you in half and somehow reaching new depths inside you. The reaction was instant, your pussy clenching down on him.

You threw your head back at the new angle, your orgasm cresting. “Taehyung!”

“I know, baby. I’m coming too. Come with me.”

When he hit that sweet spot inside you, you came, toes curling as your eyes rolled back, warmth spreading all over your body. Even then, he kept pounding into you, working you through your orgasm so the pleasure went on and on.

Taehyung thrust once, twice before coming himself, hands gripping your ass as he buried himself inside you. His brows pulled together and he bit down on his bottom lip, groaning deeply as he slowed down. You felt him throbbing inside you as his hips still.

He released your thighs from his grip instead, wrapping them around his waist, and rolled to the side, taking you with him to avoid crushing you with his weight.

You laughed at the sudden change in position, still trying to catch your breath. In his arms, you relaxed, becoming familiar with the intimacy of how he held you to his heart.

Taehyung kissed your forehead, your cheek, then finally your lips. He reveled in the feeling of you kissing him back. You kissed him passionately like you were his. God, did he want you to be.

Taehyung nuzzled his nose against yours. “Stay,” he breathed. “I want you here when I wake up in the morning.”

“Okay,” you nodded, snuggling in his arms.

You couldn’t move even if you wanted to, already feeling yourself sinking into the sleepiness of your afterglow. But you were happy to know whatever the two of you had would last more than just one night.

#ksmutclub #ficscafe #btshoneyhive #ficswithluv #taehyung x reader #taehyung smut #bts smut #taehyung fic #bts fic #bts scenario #taehyung scenarios #poc reader #song fic #my fics.🍪#req fill.📦

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httpjeon · 4 years

Text

MINE FOR TODAY — KSJ (M.)

synopsis. as part of a special valentines day sale, you make a bid in hopes to get a special discounted date with one of the dreamy bachelors of club ardor. you decide to choose The Romantic.

pairing. seokjin/reader genre. angst, fluff, smut au. fake dating!au, date-for-hire!au wordcount. 6,171 contents. sad!seokjin, lonely!seokjin, light pining, teasing, protected sex, breast play, fingering, size kink (?), scratching, overstimulation, doggy style, pet names, light aftercare note. seokjins was by far the hardest to write. i have such a difficult time writing him ): i apologize, i did my best for him!

— club ardor masterlist.

Your phone let out a startling ding, making you jump as you hadn't realized you'd forgotten to silence it. Taking a look around your cubicle, you made sure no one had noticed before you pulled it out and went to put in do not disturb mode. Before you did, however, the preview notification caught your attention.

"CLUB ARDOR VALENTINES DAY SPECIAL: See Inside for Details."

As you were about to unlock your phone to take a look, you heard the light clicks of your boss's heels coming towards you. You quickly slid your phone back into your drawer and turned your attention to your screen, feigning reading something.

Her footsteps paused outside of your cubicle before she called your name. You spun around in your chair to meet her gaze curiously.

"I really need those expense reports within the next hour, can you do that?" she asked.

"Oh yeah," you nodded, turning around once again to face your desk, "I'm actually almost done, I can probably have them on your desk in 30 minutes."

"That's perfect," she smiled, "Thank you."

You returned her smile and let out a sigh once you heard her footsteps disappear. Shaking your head, you let yourself become absorbed in your work once again -- forgetting about that email you'd received.

You caught a taxi to head home, not feeling like walking even though your apartment was only 5 minutes away. Your feet were aching and you just desperately wanted to take a shower and eat dinner as you'd accidentally missed your lunch break by working through it.

It wasn't the first time you'd considered yourself a bit too much of a workaholic.

It was nearing 11PM by the time you finally were able to settle down on the couch. Your hair was freshly washed and you were wrapped in a soft bathrobe with a nice face mask.

Reclining as the TV played in the background, you unlocked your phone to check after spending most of the day without. You responded to texts and checked your social media before suddenly remembered the email you had received earlier.

"CLUB ARDOR VALENTINES DAY SPECIAL: See Inside for Details."

It sat at the top of your emails and when you opened it, you were greeted with an image similar to a party invite. In pretty, cursive font it was written; "Once in a lifetime chance to meet the man of your dreams!"

There was a link beneath it that you clicked, causing it to open a new Safari page. The search bar indicated it had taken you to clubardor.com. It wasn't the first time you'd been on the website.

You heard of it's grand opening half a year ago and went to check it out. Unfortunately, you discovered that even the most basic package was 2 grand for 12 hours. The deluxe had a price that nearly sent you into cardiac arrest.

In the end, you just signed up for newsletters and things to be sent by email.

It seemed it paid off, as you found yourself on a page detailing a Valentine's special.

For the entire month of February, they were hosting a giveaway. According to each Date's schedule, a lucky woman would be chosen from a lottery to get a date with them for just $500 instead of $2,000. The insane discount had your jaw dropping.

You weren't embarrassed to admit that you were curious about the date-for-hire service. Biting your lip, you decided to throw your hat into the ring and place a bid on the special.

"Full money-back guarantee if you're not chosen!" was written in bold letters above the credit card input.

You had no worry about being scammed, Club Ardor had risen to the top in terms of dating services in the country -- after just 6 months of activity and just 7 bachelors available. They had an excellent reputation and were known for having an extremely high-class clientele.

With your lip caught between your teeth, an excited smile on your face, you put your payment information in and hit 'Enter'.

"Thank you for your bid! Please keep an eye on your email within the next week to determine if you've been chosen! Your lottery number is 1-241-994."

You opened up your note app and typed down the number on a blank note for safe keeping.

Returning to the website, you began to do some digging into each of the men available to hire. While their pictures weren't viewable -- for safety reasons, you supposed, there was plenty of information about them.

"Each Date has full control over creating his own scene. Location, dynamic, and length of time will vary. Please speak to your Date for more information on his plans to be sure you have allotted the correct time-frame. Abide by rules and limits he sets."

You flicked through the profiles of each man, eying their listed physical and emotional qualities.

That night, you went to sleep with excitement stirring in your heart.

Somehow, you managed to work through a couple days and ended up forgetting about even signing up for it. You were working so hard to get a promotion so you could escape the shitty cubicle that somehow spending $500 completely slipped your mind.

At least, that was until you were eating a bowl of cereal at nearly 3 in the morning on a Friday night -- 6 days after you had signed up, and your phone pinged with the alert of an email. Holding the spoon in your mouth, you picked up the device and unlocked it without even looking at the notification.

You went to your email and paused when you saw the email was from Club Ardor.

With shaking fingers, you opened it.

"Below are the applicants who filed for the lottery that won. If you do not see your number, expect a monetary refund within the next 24 hours."

You clicked out and went to your note app to check the number you had gotten. Refreshing your memory, you returned to the email and scanned down the list. There were a lot of numbers listed, you quickly realized. But by some miracle, you spotted your own number listed there in the middle.

"If your number is listed, please check your email for further instructions."

You backed out of the email and refreshed, sitting up straight when you realized you had a new one from Club Ardor.

"Congratulations on winning a special night, please follow this link to register for a date with the man of your choice!"

Clicking the bright red hyperlink, you watched the screen load for several seconds and go from white to black.

You flicked through all seven of the men passing the boyfriend, the romantic, the quiet one, the playboy, the softy, the bad boy, and the alpha male. It was easy to rule out the playboy, bad boy, and alpha male -- deeming them a little too hard of scenes than what you would be able to handle.

After a bit of deliberating, you decided on the romantic. He seemed to be the oldest at 26 years old and from the silhouette of his picture, you could see he had a very nice build with hide shoulders and pretty, thin waist. You assumed he would be closer to your type and you did enjoy romance so with a couple of clicks, you were registered for a date with him.

You were brought to another page which held instructions for downloading an application called Club Ardor along with a code it told you to input.

You did as you were instructed, highly impressed with the company's extensive work on the hiring process. It was very obvious to you that Club Ardor was, in fact, suited for those of high class. The service held an obviously high regard for discretion and safety for both its bachelors and clients.

Once the app was downloaded, you opened it and found a box to enter the code you'd been given.

You were then brought to a page to input information such as your name, age, height, likes, dislikes, and preferences. After entering it all, you were brought to an empty text message thread.

Before you could attempt to look around, your phone let out a jingle and a new text message popped up.

From: Seokjin Hi cutie! Our date is set for tomorrow night. Meet me at the Club Ardor building at 7PM sharp. Wear something nice and pretty, but comfortable. Can't wait to see you!

You read the text several times, surprised by the quick work he made before typing out a response letting him know you understood. The final thing he texted was a an address to the building you would meet him at.

Thankfully, your job has required you to dress nicely for business dinners in the past so you had a decent amount of things to wear. You decided on just a flowing dress that was breathable but complimented your figure. Placing it in the front of your closet for easy access, you went through your nightly routine and got into bed.

You worked through the day, it was a Friday so you compiled the information of the entire week and input it into the data system. It kept you busy and the hours passed by quickly.

You got off at 5, having made sure you finished everything as quickly as possible so you wouldn't have to work over time.

"You're in a rush today, _____," your boss smiled as she met you in the elevator, carrying a couple files.

"I um...I have a date tonight," you confessed sheepishly, face flushing when she gasped.

"Congratulations, I hope you have a wonderful time," she said, patting you on the back, "Stay safe, I'll see you on Monday."

The elevator opened to the 3rd floor and she got off, shooting you a little wave before the doors closed again. You were dropped off at the lobby and you adjusted your bag on your shoulder, bidding a goodbye to the receptionist as you exited your building.

Grabbing a taxi, you made your way home.

As soon as you stepped out of the shower, you heard your phone go off from your bedroom. The notification bell for the Club Ardor app was extremely hard to miss.

Wrapping a towel around yourself, you wandered into your bedroom and picked the device up.

From: Seokjin [5:45PM] Super excited, cutie! Can't wait to see you!

You smiled, typing out your response immediately, "Me either! See you soon!".

You were ready earlier than you would have liked. There were still 20 minutes until you could leave and be at Club Ardor on time. You didn't want to be too early or too late.

Timing it just right, you grabbed your purse and slipped your phone into the side pocket before slipping your heels on. The Uber you called pulled up right on time as you exited the lobby of your apartment complex.

Exchanging pleasantries, you crawled into the back seat and let out a nervous breath. Of course it wasn't until you were literally on your way that the nerves would kick in.

Club Ardor came into view at precisely 6:58PM.

The building was a huge high rise building with several floors. Club Ardor was a brightly lit neon sign atop the building. The Uber pulled up to the front curb and you stepped out, checking the time to see it was 6:59PM.

As the Uber sped away, you stepped up to the door, unsure of what to do. Deciding that you should probably let him know you were there, but as you unlocked your phone, the lobby door opened and a man stepped out.

He was dressed in a tux with a bowtie and he looked around for a second before his eyes landed on you.

"_____?" he smiled, walking up to you with his hand out, "It's nice to meet you, I'm Seokjin."

"Hi, Seokjin," you greeted, noting how big his hand was in yours before he pulled away.

"My cars in the garage," he jerked his head in the direction around the building, "Do you want to come or I can pull up."

"I'll...wait here," you said, making him laugh before nodding his head.

"I get it," he waved it off and began to jog around the building.

You could hear the rev of a car engine echo from the garage before a sleek white car came into view. Seokjin got out and jogged around the car to open the door for you.

You thanked him with a soft smile before getting in, pulling the seat belt on as he slammed the door shut.

Once in an enclosed space with him, you were immediately aware of how good he smelled. An almost sweet, fruity perfume wafted off of him and if you looked closely you could see he had a lip tint on.

"So, what's the plan?" you asked, breaking the silence that had settled.

"A romantic date on the water for two," he sighed, almost dreamily.

It couldn't help but laugh, which in turn brought a bright smile onto his face. The atmosphere became increasingly less tense as Seokjin drove to somewhere unknown.

"I'm so hungry," he complained from the driver's seat, making a turn onto a less populated road, "The food is honestly to die for."

"Whoa, what is this place?" you asked, not fully hearing his comment as you watched him pull up at a parking lot near a huge lake.

"This is where our date is, silly!" he grinned, getting out of the car and rounding to open your door for you.

He took your hand, escorting you towards a pier where there was a large boat bobbing with the waters natural movement.

"Hop aboard, lovely," he kept h is hold on your hand as you got onto the boat. He followed you and tugged your hand to get you to follow him.

Your body wavered as the boat suddenly took off but Seokjin was there to steady you with a broad grin.

"Have a seat," he motioned to a small table with two chairs across from one another.

"So," you huffed a laugh as you took a seat, "When you said...dinner on the water."

"I meant it literally," he shrugged, reaching over to click a button and several strings of white fairy lights illuminated everything around you.

"Whoa," you gasped, looking around.

You could see the lights from the buildings on shore and there was a beautiful cast of the moon shining over the water. It was beautiful and as you turned your gaze back to Seokjin, you were surprised to find him leaning his chin on his hand as he watched you.

"Your eyes are sparkling," he said, an almost serene smile on his lips.

In more proper light, you could make out his features more. He had wide shoulders, pretty, plump lips and flawless skin. His eyes were sparkling as well, the dark irises looking like stars were shining within them.

"Would you like to start eating?" he asked, reaching across the table to place his hand over yours. His skin was soft and warm and it made you smile as you nodded.

Dinner was a blur, he had a few dishes available to choose from since he didn't know exactly what you would like. You chose the steak, which seemed to make Seokjin quite happy as he ordered the same thing.

You could see where his romantic title came from as he reached across the table to feed you a couple bites every once in a while. Once the main course was over, the two of you shared a strawberry cheesecake slice after he lit the candle at the end of the table.

You had a good laugh when he failed to light it a few times because the breeze kept blowing it out.

"Now, the next portion of our date I'll admit...it's a little lame," he confessed sheepishly as he walked you back to the car.

"Oh?" you climbed into the seat after he opened the door for you.

"We're going to head back to Club Ardor, drink, and watch movies," he said, turning the key in the ignition.

"It's not lame," you giggled, resting your head back on the seat, "I think it's a great way to unwind."

"I'm glad you feel that way," he said, sounding relieved.

When you finally pulled back up to Club Ardor, Seokjin was blasting music and singing obnoxiously to it. You had your hand over your mouth to keep from laughing too much. Every once in a while, he'd take a look at you and end up laughing midway through his singing.

He pulled into the garage and pulled into a parking spot that had his name on a sign in front of it.

There was a door that he had to scan a card to unlock which led into what appeared to be a lounge room. He didn't waste any time in clicking the button to call the elevator.

Seokjin was comfortable. He had such a calm, relaxing demeanor that it put you at ease.

The two of you sat on the couch and clinked your glasses together before you both downed the shot he had poured. You cringed as it burned going down your throat, leaving a horrible taste in your mouth.

A bit of a lightweight, it didn't take much to get you tipsy and soon you were both losing it over some horrible movie he had accidentally picked.

"I swear it looked good in the previews!" he argued through laughter when you teased him about his choice.

"I'm picking the next one, you've lost movie-picking privileges!" you laughed, stealing the remote from his hands, making him gasp in shock.

He immediately began to try and get it back from you, his body pressed against yours. His perfume once again and it made your eyes flutter.

Pressed against the arm of the couch with Seokjin's body dangerously close to yours, you both paused. He met your eyes, seemingly searching for something in your gaze. As you searched his, you couldn't deny how...sad they looked.

Your breath began to quicken when his face slowly got closer to yours. You could feel his breath against your lips but before they could meet, he was pulling away. He took the remote with him and took his seat beside you once again, leaving you pressing your hand to your chest as your heart raced almost painfully.

There was a terrifyingly loud alarm that rang throughout the room, making you jolt awake.

Looking at the clock, you were disgruntled to see that it was 7 in the morning. Sitting up, you realized you were in bed when you were positive you fell asleep with Seokjin on the couch.

"Hey," he said, making you jump as he suddenly appeared in the doorway, "It's 7am."

"I see that," you mumbled, sliding out of bed, still sleepy.

"Our 12 hours are up."

And just like that it was over.

However, Seokjin didn't leave your mind after that though. Even when you stepped into your apartment, you couldn't stop thinking about him.

Especially how you almost kissed.

You were, of course, aware that Club Ardor dates would occasionally participate in physical intimacy. You hadn't expected it to happen to though. You could still remember the way his scent wafted around you and how close his lips were to yours or that sad look in his eyes.

A week passed by quickly and painlessly. You fell back into a rhythm with work, giving vague replies to your boss when she asked about how it went.

Somehow, Seokjin kept slipping into your mind. You couldn't shake him.

A measly 12 hours with a man you had only just met, and he seemed to have invaded your very subconscious.

That day, after work, you decided to take a detour to a local bar. It wasn't a very big, popular bar but the people in your neighborhood frequented it quite often. The atmosphere was buzzing inside and you made to take a seat at the bar but paused when you spotted a figure you recognized. You blinked several times, making sure you weren't hallucinating him.

"Seokjin?" you asked, making him jump.

His head snapped over to look at you, his eyes wide. He took you in for a second before his face morphed into confusion.

"What're you doing here? How'd you know I was here?" he sounded defensive and it made you frown, shaking your head.

"I live in the apartment complex down the street, I stopped here after work for a nice Friday drink," you motioned to your work attire and he seemed to relax. Part of you was offended that he thought you were some kind of stalker but you supposed in his line of work, it wasn't out of the realm of possibility.

He was drinking a beer slowly, seemingly lost in his own little world as he turned away from you. You got the hint, and went to walk away from him but you stopped when he called your name.

"Um...why don't you sit with me?" he asked, motioning to the empty stool beside him.

You were relieved he asked you to join him because that's all you wanted. You took the seat and he ordered you a drink, for which you thanked him. Being in his presence again felt nice and you already began to relax.

It seemed Seokjin had been drinking there for a while. His face was a little red and he was openly giggly and friendly -- a complete difference than what he was when you first sat him sitting there.

Time flew by with him but eventually you realized it had gotten dark outside and you'd stayed far longer than you had intended.

"I really need to be going," you sighed, the words painful as they slipped out of your mouth. You didn't want to leave him, you'd thought about him so long.

"Wait!" he cried, grabbing a hold of your blouse sleeve, effectively halting you.

"What is it?" you asked, alarmed by the saddened look on his face.

"I...Can't you stay?" he asked, voice soft.

"I...I really need to get home...I've got some reports to go over for work..." you explained, wincing when you watched him visibly deflate, "You...you can come over, if you want?"

"Really?" he looked hopeful again as he hopped off the stool.

He wobbled a bit and you laughed, reaching out to steady him even though you were a little tipsy yourself.

The two of you walked outside, the cool night air hitting your heated skin and making you shiver.

"I really...I'm not supposed to go home with clients..." he mumbled, as if talking to himself, "But I guess you're not technically a client anymore, right?"

You chuckled, cheeks burning when he pulled you close against him, "I guess I'm not."

"Yeah, so it's fine!" he chuckled.

Once the two of you stepped into your apartment, things seemed to shift. He took a seat on the couch and relaxed.

It gave you a moment to take him in; he wore jeans and a t-shirt, looking even better in casual clothes than he did in formal wear.

"Do you want some hot chocolate?" you asked suddenly, unable to hold back your smile when he visibly perked up, "I'll make you some."

You disappeared into the kitchen, letting out a deep breath as you realized your heart was racing. Seokjin seemed to have the effect. He didn't even do anything and he had you flustered.

You heated up some milk in the microwave, not wanting to bother with stove top. Pouring the powder into the cup you stood and waited for the milk to be done.

Before it could finish, you felt a presence behind you that had you jumping out of your skin. Turning around, you were face to face with Seokjin's incredible visage. His brown eyes were wide, almost curious and a smile lingered on his pretty lips.

You subconsciously licked your own lips and you swear your saw his own eyes drop to your lips. The energy was tense between the two of you and his perfume was permeating off of him once again. Seokjin opened his mouth to say something but before he could the microwave beeped.

The spell was broken and he backed off, wandering back into the kitchen as you began to mix the powder and milk in the cup.

You took a seat beside him, handing him the cup before turning the TV on. The two of you relaxed, you pulled your throw blanket over you shoulders as Seokjin sipped on his hot chocolate.

As you watched him, you couldn't help but find him cute.

"Hey Seokjin?" you asked, earning a hum from him, "How come you work at Club Ardor?"

"Why do you ask that?" he questioned, frowning as he sat up straighter.

You followed suit, shrugging your shoulders, "I mean surely being a date-for-hire wasn't the job you dreamed of," your words brought a smile to his face and he let out a soft chuckle, "Plus, you're crazy good looking, funny, and charming...I'd expect someone like you to be a model or something."

"Well...thanks..." he smiled, cheeks a little red, "To tell you the truth...I've dated quite a bit but..." he seemed to deflate as he spoke, "It never worked out, they all just wanted me for my money and looks."

"How shallow..." you sighed, shaking your head in dismay.

"Eventually, I just decided to stop trying but...if I'm honest I get so lonely," his confession made you frown, "But I just...don't want to be open to anyone so...this job makes me feel loved, even if it's fake."

"You won't even try to find a girlfriend again or something?" you asked, pained at the idea of him just giving up.

He shook his head, "No one ever wants me for me. Do you think I haven't tried my hardest? It never works, I'm sick of feeling left like I'm worth less than I am."

"Seokjin..." you muttered, reaching over to place your hand over his that was curled up in a fist on his knee, "You...deserve to have someone genuinely love you. It seems impossible but...it can't be like this forever. Someone will come along that will see you for you but you can't just...shut down. You should keep trying," you squeezed his hand, feeling it relax from the fist, "Maybe you've been dating the wrong women!"

"You're right," he mumbled, surprising you, "I think someone more like you is my type."

It took a second for those words to sink in,"Wha--" you shook your head, letting out a soft laugh, "Don't tease me like that!"

"No, I really mean it, _____," he whispered, meeting your gaze. It held such conviction and sincerity that you felt your heart speed up, "I think you're beautiful and you're so sincere. When we had our date," he paused after saying the word before sighing, "I had never wanted to kiss or touch someone more than I wanted to with you. You are absolutely captivating and you don't even know it."

He shifted on the couch, turning to face his body towards you. Your proximity was closer than you expected once he faced you, if you leaned in just a bit more your noses would touch.

The tension between you rose, something hot building that neither of you could deny.

Then, his lips were on yours -- soft and warm with the taste of hot chocolate lingering on them. It wasn't even a thought to hesitate, you were immediately returning the kiss.

It became more heated as the seconds ticked by. You found yourself pinned to the couch with him above you, never breaking the kiss. You wrapped your arms around his neck, tangling your fingers in his hair. Whimpering, you felt a shiver go down your spine when he softly nipped at your bottom lip.

When you pulled away, there was a minuscule thread of saliva connecting your lips. Once you met his heated gaze, you both knew what the other wanted.

The walk to the bedroom was a blur of shared kisses and wandering hands pushing clothes off. By the time you were pinned to the bed, you were both naked.

Seokjin's pretty, plump lips found purchase on your neck, making you shiver as his breath fanned over the sensitive skin. Kisses trailed down to your chest, over your collarbones and sternum before reaching the gentle swell of your breasts.

Your chest rose as you inhaled sharply at the feeling of his warm lips enveloping a perked nipple. His fingers caressed your skin so delicately you could almost miss it completely

His digits dipped between your thighs to find your folds already wet. He groaned, lightly grazing his teeth against your nipple before looking up at you through his lashes.

“All this because of some kissing?” he teased, making your cheeks burn.

He huffed a laugh and moved to take your other nipple into his mouth. At that same moment, his fingers parted your folds and found your clit. You gasped, spreading your legs further for his access.

His digits were skilled and graceful, circling your clit to make you whimper before dipping into your entrance. His fingers were long and found your sweet spot quickly, chuckling when your hips twitched upwards at the stimulation.

He sat up, pulling away from you as he sat back on his heels. His fingers were still inside you and he eagerly watched the way your entrance stretched to accommodate his two — three fingers.

Your eyes fluttered, rolling back in your head as he fucked you with his fingers. As a result, you missed him wrapping his left hand around his own cock, biting his lip as he finally got the stimulant he needed.

Precum dripped down his shaft and he eagerly used it to lubricate his movements. He scissored his fingers inside you, making sure you were stretched enough to take him.

When he pulled out, you whined at how empty you felt.

“Have you got a condom?” he breathed, tightening his fist around his cock when you reached into your bedside drawer and pulled one out.

You settled back, spreading your legs once again. He groaned, shuffling forward to cover your body with his. Your eyes met as the tip of this cock kissed your entrance.

Both your mouths fell open as he sunk into you. Your tight walls squeezed him so wonderfully that he groaned. He stretched you open even more than his fingers had, giving you that wonderful burn you needed.

He met your lips in a sweet kiss as he angled his hips toward your sweet spot. You whimpered, wrapping your arms around his shoulders to ground you as the pleasure ran rampant. He hissed, cock twitching at the sting of your nails on his back.

His pelvic bone ground against your clit every time he sunk in, edging you closer and closer to release. Seokjin could feel the way you fluttered around him and he groaned.

Sliding a hand between your bodies, he circled the bud until you arched with a cry of pleasure.

He eased you through the high, grinning when you trembled through the overstimulation. Finally, he slowed to a stop and pulled out. You whimpered, feeling your hole clench around nothing.

“Roll over,” he breathed, cupping your hip to urge you onto your front.

With your face buried in the pillow and your ass in the air, you looked like a delectable treat for him. Standing on his knees, he sunk his cock back into your cunt.

You both groaned. The angle had him hitting your spot with painful accuracy. You cried out, muffled in the fabric of the pillow, as he fucked you into even more overstimulation. Your recent orgasm had you much more sensitive and this position allowed him to abuse that.

An almost sadistic grin crossed over his face as he enjoyed the little cries and whimpers you released the harder he fucked his cock into you.

Reaching down, he tangled his hand in your hair. You gasped as he tugged until you were up on your knees as well. Your back was against his chest and you could feel him panting against your neck.

His lips found the junction of your neck and shoulder, nipping at the skin there. Your walls fluttered around him and he released your hair to reach around and cup your breast.

“Fuck,” you gasped as he pinched your nipple, making your eyes roll back in your head.

“What is it, baby?” he groaned, the pet name making you flutter around him again.

“M-Make me cum, please,” you begging, making him groan once more.

He didn't say anything further, simply slid his hand down your body until he found your swollen clit. The second his fingers touched the bud, you clenched tight around him in sensitivity.

He circled the bud until you were trembling and gushing around him. You cried out his name as pleasure coursed through your body from your high. Seokjin didn't stop circling your clit and fucking his cock into your spasming walls until you were near tears.

He finally let you fall back down to the bed and began to chase his own high. He spread your ass cheeks apart, getting a good view of the way your cunt tried to suck him back in on every out stroke. The sight made him groan.

It took you deliberately squeezing tightly around him tightly for him to cum. It was sudden and knocked the air out of him. He gripped your hips tightly as he spilled into the condom, his cock twitching the entire time.

Everything was still for several seconds before he pulled out.

You rolled over to lay on your side as Seokjin got up and went into the bathroom. He came out a moment later with a wet cloth that he used to clean your thighs and folds with, laughing when you playfully smacked his shoulder from the oversensitivity.

He finally crawled into the bed, the two of you wiggling until you were comfortable.

You laid with Seokjin's chest beneath your head, the gentle rhythm of his heartbeat the only thing you heard. His hand softly combed through your hair and you smiled.

"This...This is what I've been needing for so long," he whispered, "No one trying to get something out of being with me. Just a sincere...caring touch."

"This is what you deserve, Seokjin," you sitting up to look at him. His hair was messed up in an adorable way that made you smile, "You can have so much more if you just...open yourself to it again."

Seokjin's gaze turns glassy as he opened his mouth to speak, "I'm just...scared."

Your heart ached when you saw a tear trickle from his eye. Reaching up, you swiped it away, "I know but...you deserve to be loved, Seokjin."

He didn't reply, simply reaching up to pull you back down into his arms. You held him in return, running your fingertips over his skin until you felt him relax as sleep finally overcame him. Adjusting yourself more comfortably, you let yourself fall asleep in his arms.

You opened your eyes to the morning sun shining into your bedroom. You licked your lips as your mouth felt dry and moved to sit up. As you did, you remembered what happened last night.

Looking beside you, you realized he wasn't in bed and the sheets were cold. Standing up, you wrapped your fuzzy robe around you and crept out of the bedroom.

"Seokjin?" you called, frowning when you received no reply.

Your heart was pounding as you made a round around the apartment to see if he left a note of anything. When you couldn't find anything, you returned to your bedroom to pick up your phone.

You froze, realizing you never actually got his phone number. You'd only communicated through the Club Ardor app.

Clicking on the icon, you waited for it to load.

Instead of being brought to your profile, you reached a page with a simple notice on it.

"Your date has filed a report, you are now blocked from using the Club Ardor service. If further contact is attempted, Club Ardor will be forced to take legal matters."

You stared at your phone for several seconds.

Everything that happened flashed through your mind -- the way he kissed you and confessed his feelings of loneliness and hurt to you. You wondered if any of it was true. Were you a game to him?

Your view of the notice on your screen became blurry as you realized you would never know.

3K notes · View notes

cloudshapedpatch · 3 years

Text

take my money (take my heart, too)

the awkward julie & luke sugar daddy/baby au no one asked for

rated teen and up for swearing and semi-mature themes such as the concept of a sugar daddy/baby arrangement

no smut! insane tooth-rotting fluff tho

slow burn juke

and disaster lesbians flarrie side plot and (eventual) willex

also a coffee shop au because i said so

read on ao3 (chapter 1 and tag list below the cut)

* * * *

Julie is nervous. No, nervous is an understatement. Her knees bounce uncontrollably under the table, shaky fingers twirling the straw in her iced coffee. And the knot in her stomach seems to grow ever tighter.

She pulls out her phone to check the time for the third time this minute. How is it still 10:57 am? Just as she is about to put her phone back in her pocket, it buzzes with an incoming text from her best friend/roommate, Flynn.

Flynn: calm down

Julie smiles despite herself, turning around to look at her friend a few tables away. Thank goodness for her friend, willing to throw away a morning to make sure she is safe and comfortable on her blind date. She shoots Flynn a small smile. Flynn, to their credit, is taking their job very seriously, wearing an absurdly large sunhat and sunglasses, sipping on a mug of hot tea with a decoy book under her nose.

Julie turns to anxiously watch the baristas, moving around the small space with ease, mixing drinks hot and cold alike. Twirling around each other without even looking. And she lets her mind wander.

How had she gotten here? Waiting for a man whom she had never spoken to, let alone seen? And she isn’t counting their text messaging. Not really. Not even if they had been talking for weeks. Not even if they regularly stayed up well into the night just to keep talking to the other. Not even if he had her blushing furiously, toes curling from giddiness and hiding under her sheets, smiling at the flirtatious speech bubbles on her phone for longer than she’d like to admit.

Because that doesn’t count. She has never heard his voice. She has never seen what he looked like. Anyone could be a charmer, and she is undoubtedly nervous about who she might find walking through the door and towards her.

How had she gotten here? It is a simple question, and one she has the answer to. Doesn’t mean she likes it. She had made an offhand comment to Flynn at work one day. Julie is sick of working 12 hour days in the cafe (not this one. she would be dumb to meet a stranger in her workplace) and barely scraping by. She had joked she needed someone to fund her shopping sprees.

Flynn had suggested a sugar daddy.

Julie wants to bang her head on the table. Past Julie is an idiot. And now Present Julie is going to pay the price.

Why had she let Flynn convince her to download that dumb app?

(Because she has a virtually useless college degree, bills to pay, and school loans creeping up on her and she is cutting back every month. Living in L.A. isn’t cheap.

And, if she really lets herself think about it, Julie is lonely.)

She checks her phone again, pleased to find it is finally 11 am. He should be here any minute. Luke should be here any minute.

Is it a red flag that he had only been willing to share his first name? Should it have concerned her that he didn’t have a profile picture on his online dating account? Is she dumb for letting him change the subject every time she asked about his job? Solid ‘maybe’s to all of those, but! After they had started talking, they had instantly clicked. He loves music almost as much as she did, maybe even more. They bonded over that, and many other things.

This is fine.

She straightens her posture, glancing down at her dress to make sure all is in order. It’s baby blue with golden sunflowers all over, and she had slipped a cropped denim jacket on top, the one with patches of all her favorite bands. She fusses with the loose curls hanging by her face, her hair pulled into a half bun at the top of her head, leaving a clear view of her sunflower earrings. It’s the perfect outfit to be noticed in, she had told him she’d be wearing blue and sunflowers, certainly he wouldn’t miss her.

Whenever he decided to show up.

Wait. he would show up, wouldn’t he?

Of course he would.

...Right?

Before she can get too far down that rabbit hole, the chime above the door is jingling, and Julie has to fight hard not to turn and see who it is. The anticipation crawls up her spine and settles in her neck, jaw tingling.

A man comes in, approaching the counter with confidence in his step. One barista takes one look at him and gapes like a fish, turning to a coworker to nonchalantly point at him. Both girls look at each other and quietly squeal, letting one of the male cashiers help him.

Must be attractive, she thinks, and she isn’t disappointed by what she can see from the back. His sleeves are short, showing off his muscular arms and he’s tall. She’s always liked tall men.

Supposedly handsome stranger orders his drink and waits at the counter for it. One of the girls hands it to him with a gleeful smile. He accepts, then says something to her before the girl’s smile falters and points right at Julie.

Wait, she’s pointing at Julie?

Definitely handsome stranger follows her finger and lands on Julie, eyes scanning up and down her body (at least, what he can see from above the table), his face instantly lighting up in the most gorgeous smile she’s ever seen.

And then he’s turning back to say thank you and then making his way towards her and oh no what what what--

Because this isn’t her date. It can’t be, right? But Luke Patterson is stepping up to her booth, sliding into the seat across from her.

“Hey, you’re Julie, right?” His voice, sweet and thick as honey, and Julie would know that voice anywhere.

“Luke Patterson? You… you didn’t say--” She cuts herself off before she can say something foolish.

Because there is no way in hell she’d unknowingly put up her sugar baby services to Luke fucking Patterson. Not rockstar Luke Patterson. Not lead guitarist and singer and songwriter for her favorite band, Sunset Curve. Not literally in the Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall of Fame Luke Patterson.

“Yeah, about that… I am really sorry about not telling you. It’s just not something I like mentioning to everyone I meet, you know?”

She’s having a hard time processing what he’s saying. He’s so close. Why is he leaning on the table like that? Why is he so close?

“Yeah! Yeah, totally. That’s understandable.” She laughs nervously, taking a sip of her coffee to avoid speaking any further.

“This… this is okay, right? You’re not mad?”

“Mad?” This clears her mind a bit. She takes in the way his hands fiddle with the rings on his fingers, his shoulders raised, and while his smile is easygoing, his eyes say otherwise. Why would she be mad?

She expresses this to him, and he just looks at his hands.

“Well, because I wasn’t completely truthful with you. And I totally understand if you want to walk away.”

“No!” She says before she can filter herself. His eyebrows raise in amusement. “I mean, it’s fine! I was just… surprised, that’s all.”

And surprised is correct. Luke Patterson is the same Luke she’s been talking to for the last three weeks, the very same one who’s been making her laugh and who’d almost made her miss work last week because they had texted about everything and nothing until the sun came up.

He seems to like her answer. His smile never leaves his face.

“You seemed to recognize me. You a fan of Sunset Curve’s?”

And maybe it’s the way his cocky smile burns her cheeks, or just the fact that he’s talking to her. Panic sets in and she lies.

“Never heard of Sunset Swerve.”

“You knew my name.”

“You know it’s a household name, right?”

“Your jacket says otherwise.”

And shit. She had forgotten about the Sunset Curve patch right over her heart. In fact, it was the first patch she had put on the jacket. But he doesn’t need to know that.

“Fine. You caught me. I’m a Curver. Happy?”

And though she’s teasing, he couldn’t seem to be happier. Seriously, she’s worried his dopey grin is gonna break his face. Then an ugly, ugly thought rears its head in her mind.

“Wait. You let me gush about Sunset Curve so many times and you didn’t say anything?” Her sentence ends in a laugh.

“Oh, Julie, I wanted to so bad. You have no idea!”

Julie finds herself not really registering the second half of his sentence. She had missed it, the first time he said her name due to being starstruck, and her face warms a bit when she recalls just how good her name had sounded when he said it. Like a splash of cool water on a hot day. Like sap dripping fresh from a tree, glinting in the sunlight.

“Then why didn’t you?”

He sobers a bit at this, though his eyes still hold the same fire as before. “Well, I didn’t really want to go around announcing that. Can you imagine how many matches I’d get if I put that little tidbit in my bio?”

Julie laughs at this, the absurdity of it hitting her. Of course. He’d want someone who’d like him for him, not for his status, or name, or fame or money.

Oh. Shit. She was literally here for his money.

“For sure! Must’ve been hard.”

“Oh, not really. I matched with you on day one and deleted the app once we exchanged phone numbers.”

“Really?” Julie felt a little guilty for still having the app on her phone now, even after she was pretty sure Luke was a good match. There was still the possibility that mystery man was a total creep. If she’d have known who he was, on the other hand…

“Totally! I’ll be honest, my bandmates put me up to this, but once we started talking I just knew I had to meet you.”

Julie’s mind still feels a bit foggy, like she was dreaming. A fantastic dream, might she add.

“I’ve been really excited to meet you too. My best friend also convinced me to get the app. She’s actually over there.” Julie smiled, nudging her head over towards her friend, where they were certainly trying their best to eavesdrop.

“Brought a plus one, I see?” Luke chuckled, giving Flynn a wave. Flynn hid her already shielded eyes from view with her book.

“Hey, you gotta remember I was meeting someone whom I had never seen before, and the fact that I didn’t know your last name was not helping.”

Luke’s smile turned bashful again. “Ah. She’s backup.”

“Yep! But I think they’re good to go.” Julie whipped out her phone and sent Flynn a quick message, relieving her of her duties.

“You sure? I might kidnap you.”

“I’d let you kidnap me.”

Oh god. She so did not say that.

He seemed to think it was funny. At least she was amusing. At her own expense, maybe, but amusing nonetheless.

Amusing to Luke Patterson.

If she doesn’t stop saying his last name, she’ll go insane. This is just the dorky guy she’s been talking to. The one she’ll hopefully get to talk to tomorrow.

Despite the rocky start, Julie would say it was a successful date. Coffee turned into lunch at a nearby bistro, and he walked Julie to her car a few blocks away. She didn’t get to her apartment until after 4 o’clock, and Flynn was waiting with two glasses of wine in their shared living room. Julie is eager to spill all the details, and Flynn is the perfect listener, oohing and ahhing at all the right moments.

As Julie crawls into bed after her eventful day, her phone dings on her nightstand.

PayPal: Luke Patterson sent you $500.00 “I had a great time today :) hope to see you again soon!”

Well. If she had calmed down any, this just undid all of her efforts. A wave of guilt floods over her. The concept of a sugar daddy sort of seemed too outlandish to really fathom. But now she feels awful taking his money.

She’s really doing this, isn’t she?

Julie: you really didn’t have to

Luke: but i wanted to

Luke: it’s ok tho right?

Julie: i guess it’s fine, it’s just a lot of money

Luke: i realise how conceited this is going to sound but its no sweat off my back. just think of it as a gift

Gifts. She could live with that.

* * * *

taglist! @ladyblanche :)

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redmelawashere · 3 years

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Hi. Hello. I know this is a writing blog for my very questionable, rarely updated fanfiction ‘cause I suffer from crippling perfectionism, but I really really REALLY need to scream into the void of the internet for one hot second so here I am.

So, years of rhetorical training and learning about the woes of advertising has failed me.

Last Summer, as my 25th birthday was coming up in the fall, I was having one of the biggest existential crises of my life. Gearing up to my MA defence, feeling supremely unaccomplished in life, and just never satisfied with everything. It was a thing. I dyed my hair green since I was stressed. I kept thinking “omg I’m almost 30???” and then would have to real myself back in like “you dumb bitch. You are 24 SHUT UP.” It was…really bizarre and I suffer from a lot of anxiety and depression, but this was just insane. After I turned 25 later in the fall, I was like “great, almost 26! Almost 30! You are so unaccomplished!” and in a fit of being upset, feeling lonely and just pressured by my age and societal norms, I caved and promptly downloaded Bumble and Ok!Cupid. Had a lot of bad experiences. Men fucking suck and are creepy and aggressive on apps. Anyways, I eventually deleted it end of November after 2 months of use. Even felt at peace for a while.

December was quiet…but recently…

I noticed it.

YouTube consistently bombards me with Bumble ads that ONLY STARTED once I deleted it off my phone. Legit every. Second. Commercial. Even fucking TikTok keeps giving me dating app commercials that start off with “26 is SUCH a weird age” and it’s like I JUST turned 25 can you fucking stop???

Also let’s talk about targeted advertising. Why the FUCK is this targeted. Do you know when I’m dating and when I’m not? Who I’m fucking? That’s none of your business? Also I literally never talk about being single. NEVER. There is NOTHING IN MY LIFE TO PROMPT THESE ADS.

And it’s like all coming together. I literally whispERED INTO MY PHONE “I HAVE A PARTNER. PLEASE STOP” SO THE LITTLE ADVERTISING GREMLINS LIVING IN MY PHONE WILL FINALLY LEAVE ME ALONE. I DON’T EVEN TALK ABOUT BEING SINGLE. WHY DO I KEEP GETTING THESE FUCKING COMMERCIALS THEY ARE LITERALLY INCREASING MY SOCIAL ANXIETY TO FULFILL SOCIAL NORMS AND PRESSURES HI I FUCKING HATE IT HERE.

This is the fucking worst and I don’t know how to stop having these apps appear on my phone through all the social media apps I use but the fact that I was feeling so awful and worthless about this in the summer suddenly makes sense.

This “targeted” advertising is fucking toxic.

#it me #i really really really fucking hate this #advertising #toxic ads #social media #problematic social media shit that literally makes me hate myself more than i already do #sdlkfjasldkjfa #dating apps

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jasondilts · 5 years

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Old Touchtones, New Touch-screens

Electronic technology will only bring us more information, more choices, more contacts, and more complexity. It will push us beyond all the old frontiers of identity—home, neighborhood, country, values, and the natural rhythms of nature. Our old touchstones for forming an identity will fail and we will have a pervasive identity crisis. -Yogi Bhajan, April 1995

There’s no definitive date for when the Aquarian shift began, though I suspect it was the release of the first iPhone in June of 2007 that jolted the transition. People had been carrying handheld computers in their pockets for many years, but it was this technological milestone that truly began the steady march toward a digitally-focused existence. The existing social order accepted that technology was a tool to augment reality, and at first cell phone etiquette reinforced this notion. In the early days of the iPhone, it was quite common to be invited to interact with a person’s new device. I’d run into a friend at a coffee shop, and she would gleeful show me all of her new pictures and explain the latest app she had downloaded. The phone was an entry point into her world, a way for us to better relate to teach other. It was a conversation starter as much as a connector. It could be put away as easily as it could be picked up. A face-to-face chat over java with full focus from both parties was the norm, such rendezvous uninhibited by incessant dings, pings, and rings. At first, that is.

It all changed so quickly. Syncing easily with the emerging phenomena of social media, these shiny devices were how we were going to say connected. Every time something new happened on Facebook, we’d get a notification and have to see what was going on—right then and there! It was rude not to respond right away, ruder than only half-listening or outright ignoring whatever the person in front of you was saying. Whatever was going on inside the glass of our devise gradually became more important than what was happening in front of us. We never spoke about this or decided this was true, but our collective actions affirmed a new order. Eventually, we stopped sharing our phones with each other and developed an increasingly intimate relationship with a glass screen that was constantly transfixed before our eyes, the auto-lock blackness constantly showing us our own reflection. It was the people we knew who had always had the most profound impact on our development. Now that was changing. These phones were a signifier that we would soon be called to go within to grow.

Pisces is symbolized by two circling fish biting at each other’s ends. In the final days of the Piscean era, we unconsciously decided that we’d chased our tails long enough. Human connections are fraught with drama and give way to distractions. Most of us weren’t starting relationships to evolve; we just had needs to be satisfied. We looked to others to make us less lonely, feel validated, be sexually satisfied, and escape whatever insanity was going on in our minds. In the Aquarian age, we won’t relate to each other like that. There will be more ownership of one’s purpose and more thoughtfulness to how we engage with others. We won’t see people as extensions of ourselves or vessels for our own satisfaction. Rather we will appreciate the unique faculty that is the individual, accepting people as they are and celebrating their purpose on the planet. Knowing people authentically is how we will grow. We will bring our best selves to interactions because we will understand that lower emotions like anger, jealousy, and guilt come from the insanity of our mind and are not the fault of others. We will live by the ethos that we are 100% responsible for our own understanding.

Clearly, we have a long way to go. If the Golden Age is only 16 years away, though, we’re in for some rapid changes. Maybe that’s why shit is going to hit the fan in a big way. It’s always messy when we are forced to change. Every time the screen of our phone goes dark, a force beyond us is beckoning the way forward; we are shown ourselves so that we can go inside to receive the answers. Yet we constantly queue up our home screens to call up literally thousands of distractions each day that keep us as far away from our authentic selves as possible. It’s hard to know who you are or what you are here to do when you are lost inside a peep-hole of someone else’s drama. It’s easier to read the post about your friend’s lunch or watch the news about Trump’s latest Twitter tirade than it is to drop in to what’s actually going on inside you. These phones and the unspoken order of compulsory real-time availability they come with are perhaps the last great distraction. I say last because I am not sure we could become any more disconnected from reality than we are now. Surely new iterations of “smart-devises” will come, but they will all just add depth to the phenomena that is already here and affirm the inevitable. Everything we know is fading away. I wonder if this is how it was in the last days of Atlantis: the pervading sense that there had never been so much advancement and opportunity quietly colliding with a disaster that would wash away this evolution from the annals of history.

If we are to survive this next shift, we must get honest about how technology has affected us on the individual level. We aren’t going back to the way it used to be, but surely we can show up better for the way it is now. The fundamental questions we must answer are: how is our identity being maimed by these so-called advancements and how do we reclaim our power so that we are not at the effects of our screens?

Next week I’ll share some of my own experiences with these questions and I hope everyone who reads this will do their own introspection and sharing as well!

#ageofaquarius #aquarianshift #yogibhajan #Kundalini #kundaliniyoga #technology #iphone #smartphone

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forever7simple3things · 7 years

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beginning (as seen from 2017)

from valerie: july 2014If someone had told me that I would find the love of my life through an app I would have laughed at them. the idea of meeting someone online and falling in love with them seemed absolutely absurd to me. until it actually happened to me. I was coming out of a really difficult relationship that challenged me mentally, physically and emotionally. When I downloaded this app called 'Brenda' I was sitting around the pool at a friends house enjoying the Wisconsin summer. I honestly downloaded it to see if there was even any potential women in the area. Of course there was no one within 50miles. I expanded my search to over 100 miles and there were more and more women. I started scrolling through the list and this woman's profile photo stunned me. I scrolled past it, my initial thought was "no way would she be into me" as I scrolled past I said "f it! what do you have to lose?" I sent her a message and went about the rest of my day. About twenty minutes later my phone made a very unfamiliar noise- there was a message waiting for me on 'Brenda'. I thought there is no way she messaged me back, it must be someone else or an administrator. Sure enough this beautiful woman responded to the message I sent her. At the time I was still somewhat involved in the relationship I was in so I knew I needed to remove the app from my phone. I messaged the woman back and gave her my cell phone number. Told her this app had to go, but if she would like to keep talking to please text me. Not even ten seconds later we were messaging back and forth. We exchanged texts back and forth from before sunup and way past sun down. The woman I was talking to was everything I have ever wanted to find in a woman. She was older, she was mature, she had a job and a car and was doing things for herself. This woman even had a bonus or two, she had two teenage daughters. This made me really nervous at first because while I have always dreamed of having a child or two, I never imagined that I would entertain a relationship with children already involved. At this point in our communications I was already head over heals for this woman. Her children were literally an added bonus to an already perfect package. An intimidating package but a beautiful package nonetheless. I was in a relationship with a woman at the time of meeting this perfect woman. It was a horrible, stressful, painful relationship that was more of a convenience or inconvenience by the end. It was the middle of summer when I began this relationship. We were in constant communication with each other and with every poem exchanged, every photo swapped, every good morning and good night message I was falling more and more in love. I received a message from her about wanting to come and visit, to meet in person. I was anxious immediately. What if my inconvenient girlfriend found out? That thought crossed my mind for a while and I began to feel awful. Not because I was talking to someone, falling in love with someone else, but because I knew the chaos this girl had brought into my life and I refused to let that chaos touch this woman. I refused to let this woman be touched by the vileness of the relationship that was breaking me. At the time I did what seemed like a great idea, I wrote this woman a text message and asked her to stop talking to me. I asked her to forget about me and continue on with her journey. I was sure that if this girl found out she would ruin her world. She was a ruthless girl and would hurt anyone to hurt me. I didn't know this at the time, but I was breaking the woman I love, heart. At this time in her life she was about 6 month out of a divorce and had recently begun something with a girl she had a connection with. That girl broke her soul and took advantage of her and when she decided to walk away from her she did it in an email. Not a text message but essentially the same thing. I was breaking her heart and soul and I had no idea how cruel it was. Luckily it only took me a couple hours to realize that my heart was also breaking and I needed her to be in my life. Shortly after this we became even closer than we were before. I was telling her things that I had never told anyone. I was more myself with her than I had ever been with anyone else. She was becoming my best friend and my soul mate and no one in my life knew about her. She was my little slice of sunshine, my safety. When she had asked about coming to meet in person she was serious, I thought was joking. She sent me an email with a hotel confirmation for Milwaukee, Wisconsin. She was serious, she was coming to Wisconsin to meet me...in 5 days. 5 days! I had 5 days to get myself together, let someone in on my secret and make arrangements to be all hers for two whole days. Somehow I managed to make it happen. My biff picked me and my overnight bag up and dropped us off at the meeting point. Sitting in a Silver Jeep Wrangler was the woman of my dreams. She looked beautiful and hopeful. Its quite a feeling when you know someone is waiting to meet you too. Its an amazing feeling to be wanted. We were hand in hand traveling down HWY 94 towards Milwaukee and there was not a care in the world. The only thing that mattered was her. This woman drove from Iowa to meet me, to take me on my very first date. How lucky am I? I was so nervous. I had been dreaming about meeting this woman, having this woman in my arms for weeks. It was finally happening. I felt like there was nothing else in the world that mattered but us. We spent the next 32 hours exploring Milwaukee, drinking out way from Water Street to the Third Ward. Talking the entire time. Not a moment of silence or awkwardness. It was like I had known this woman for my entire life and was walking around with my best friend. Those 32 hours are seared into my mind. Those memories will never escape my memory. Later that evening she had to go back to Iowa. I wanted nothing more than to leave Wisconsin and go with her. How insane is that? Watching her pull away and head back to Iowa was a heartbreaking moment. That was a long lonely night. I went back to my girlfriends moms house and started packing. Started organizing all of my things and packing a bag. I talked to the woman of my dreams while she drove back to Iowa, all the while she was asking me to let her come back and get me. I could not imagine just leaving. I had to get a few things in line. It was a Tuesday that changed everything. I woke up in her sweatshirt, went downstairs to get some coffee, and talk to my now ex-girlfriends mother and her sister. We were all close so it was a normal thing. We talked about how much better off both her daughter and I would be now that we were not together. That night my ex-girlfriend was sleeping with her new girlfriend. Could I even be upset? I just spent two days with the woman of my dreams exploring a city that has always had part of my heart. I spent that day packing up my stuff, hanging out with a couple friends, went to work my last shift and when I got off work the woman of my dreams was waiting for me to load up my bags and head to Iowa. Just like that I was starting a new life with this woman I had waited for, forever.

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