#i was gonna make more but its 4am and im tired

[arcanegifs]

ARCANE LEAGUE OF LEGENDS: 1x05 - "Everybody Wants to Be My Enemy" ↳ "So what'll it be, man or woman?"

#another 4k test #looks okay i just cant have too long clips if im doing 500 x 750 stuff #arcane #arcaneedit #caitlyn #caitlyn kiramman #caitlyn arcane #arcane caitlyn #arcane league of legends #netflixedit #animationedit #media: arcane #type: gif #s1 ep5 #i was gonna make more but its 4am and im tired #i might have to change software bc my scene splitters are lagging from the upscaled 4k video ugh

[girlwithfish]

ystrdy i slept from 7pm-7am some getting up in btwn to pee and eat a donut at 4am but yeah. i fell asleep around 7pm nd was gonna get upat 830 and make dinner i had a whole plan and then i could not get up and kept falling asleep nd id wake up every couple hrs and b like oh its midnight now. then go to sleep. told my bf i was feeling down and that i feel ive been shutting my emotions off. today i got up at 7 and did some stretching and made myself breakfast and coffee.. now im just looking forward to relaxing tnte. ive been feeling really tired and such prob from new meds and im also feeling very disconnected from myself. ystrdy i made a moodboard and it felt nice so i think ill do that again. just compile pictures i like that resonate w me to express how im feeling or an emotion etc. Idk. Been feeling like im avoiding things within myself. today i just want to spend time w my bf. today i txted both my mom my dad and my brother. txted my dad about the new beatles song. txted my brother asking what headphones he has. trying to reach out more to ppl even if its small. Idk. its easy to isolate when i dont see anybody besides my bf and the ppl in my program. Been finding solace in music. trying to stretch more. thinking of remaking or downsizing my blog or smth. Idk

[gulliesforever]

theres so many things i want to draw for janda but ive forced myself to have a chill week (physically cannot draw bc i removed my tablet from me) so that i dont burn myself out. so far its kind of working … but im kind of failing still…. bc instead of making things for it im just talking to people till 4AM about it and watching the patreon..

but anyways! i THINK my next big/ambitious drawing is gonna be a jake and amir phone lockscreen with a lot of side characters! i usually have my main fixation/fandom as my background on my phone through fanart but since there really isnt a lot i was thinking id make what i wanna see! and im excited about it, but thinking about it already makes me really tired LMFAO

i also wanna draw something more explicitly shippy (something i actually dont do often) - so i decided on a movie date where theyre watching freddy got fingered together ahahaha— OH AND I HAVE TO DO PIERCINGS SK8ER BOI JAKE X NERDY AMIR TOO

idk why im typing this. guess if i put it here its out there and i cant procrastinate when i let myself draw<33 since itd be going back on my words… i cant wait to share with you all <33

#thoughts within thoughts

[chocodollxren]

i realized you don’t actually need friends to make matching phone layouts. yes there are many pages and maybe ill switch to vil, or maybe ortho and idia? malleus and lilia for black and pink? someone make me stop. [if you wanna rename apps with the same name then make sure to add an invisible copy and paste space]

so sorry for no filler content today, im just really tired after writing last night, i didn’t sleep until like 4am?? i normally sleep at like 2-3am so im a little more tired than normal. ill be working on my other requests too, just wanted today off! i really wanted to catch up on a few shows and play pokemon after relaxing!! 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️ really love editing my phone theme also until i realize my widgets are just fifty things unnamed or i give them such complicated names only to change them after a second. im also trying to get a friend to help me give their first impressions of twst characters as thanks for everyone’s support but its likely gonna take a bit longer cause there’s like 25+ characters and they obviously can’t respond asap.

#twisted wonderland #twst wonderland #＃—;❝ 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. ❞[🍵]

[vaudeville-venom]

3/4AM — O3-12-2O24 : RANT / RAMBLE ﹐🪶 ˖ overview: im tired of tiktok, want to move to other social media platforms. want to start blogging / journaling on tumblr and love the idea of others doing the same and find it interesting. want to redo my intro post really bad (i bring it up alot.) i want to have the 'average highschool experience', feel alone then ramble about my life a bit. talk about how i am rambling and how i dont expect anyone to read it. im tired of having a fucked up sleep schedule and being unstable. then an ending note talking about journaling on tumblr again, moodboards, the fucking intro post again, and want to work on a tagging system. (im really fucking tired oh my god)

[ me-core / aesthetic of my brain atm ] : images frm Pinterest

im really debating on just leaving tiktok for now, the algorithm fucking sucks especially right now. its boring as fuck and im not even seeing stuff of my interests or my mutuals ☠️ its all the same 3 god damn audios of content i wouldnt ever like want or expect to see??? ive mentally wanted to stop using shit like tiktok and move to using tumblr more and other sites like spacehey and stuff. i really need to redo spachey too. because while tumblr still has an algorithm ofc its alot less addicting and doesnt absolutely wreck your attention span like tiktok has for me. i feel like not using tiktok other than for occasional posts and sending things to / receiving things from friends would make me a bit more productive as well as being better for me mentally. while it wont magically cure me from any mental illness itll make me feel better and probably help my stress a bit.

i really love the idea of using a tumblr blog to post whatever i want and like use as a digital diary of some kind,, its super fun imo. i had an old acc but it felt like more of a chore to keep up with so now it’s abandoned. speaking of that blog i may make a post being like “hey, im [here] now!!” because i had some neat mutuals there. i think its really neat to see people post about their day and share things they like and reblog everything that catches their eye yk! that may just be a me thing.

i want to redo my intro post a bit, because idk im a bit unhappy with it. (dont be surprised if i edit it mid-writing this or before i post this..) i really love to write but i havent had much motivation at all. i typically love researching my interests and taking notes on them but recently i havent been able to no matter how much i want to, maybe this diary / blogging kind of thing will help me get back on my feet with that :)

i really dont have a ‘yearning’ for anything at the moment, besides having the experience of like everyone else my age. idk how (hahaha) corny that may sound but like for background, im online schooled due to mental and physical disabilities, i dont have many friends online or in person, i rarely see anyone, and i live with my dad and see my mom sometimes and dont really have family outside of that. the family i do have i dont get along with very well or theyre distant (physically or emotionally.) the family i really consider is my dad, because hes always there for me, and my friend micah, but he lives like 9 hours away from me like a LOSER (ily bffie.) im a big believer on chosen family and he is that chosen family. ok i got sidetracked, what im saying is i have no social life really, dont have a place to get a social life (school), and cant really connect with people no matter how i try to. i want to live life like how i see in teen life films or tiktoks of people vlogging with their friends, hell id kill to even have an irl bestfriend to be around. i do have irl friends, and i do have close friends, but i dont see them often or have the personal connection of a mutual best-friend feeling. my dads probably my best friend but i need someone my age lmfao.

this post will be so long that no one will read it i garuntee but also i dont mind?? im not gonna spill my guts like someone wont read this but im not gonna act like i have a large audience. this will just be a nice thing to look back on and keep up unless i anxiously delete it whenever i look back on it (maybe in the morning)

im really tired of waking up at 3-4pm right now, but i cant sleep earlier than 5am no matter what i do. and if i manage to fall asleep at 2am or something i wake up an hour later or wake up at 4-5am panicking for some reason. i havent been to therapy in forever, my therapist is like not doing her job as well as id like and i have no doctor other than my pediatrician who doesn’t understand what im talking about ever!!

i just made this post and thats kinda what led to all of this ranting and wanting to write and shit. im sorta just tired of alot of social media and would love to find myself in other ways and use other forms of social media to share those things even though tumblr is a bit more dead than some things :) im gonna end this one here but if i write another tonight or early tomorrow (like the afternoon same day but it’s tomorrow to me) dont be surprised i love rambling to myself. now i think im going to make this post look cute, post it, redo my pinned intro, work on featured tags/a tagging system, then go from there ^^’

#cain.txt #oversharing on the internet is fun! #;; #blogging #blog #ranting #ramble #rambling #rant #diary #digital diary #diary entry #my diary #tumblr diary #tumblr blog #yapping #autism #bpd #neurodivergent

[tears-of-boredom]

played badminton for an hour.

and I was gonna say that i did it with only 6 hours of sleep, but thats actually not that bad. i have this thing where everything from 6am to like 10.30am is just "morning", and I forget that theres like. there's hours in there. theres time. nd because of that I thought that waking up at 10am when i went to sleep at like 4am was bad. but it genuinely is not. like holy shit. i just need to set an alarm for earlier in the day, and ill have so many more hours in the day and get enough sleep.

anyways yeah so i really need to take a shower cuz I always go way too hard for badminton honestly. but im tireddd im just an uwu baby and so so tired:(.

also "badminton" is such an awkward word. sounds way more fancy than what the sport actually is. we just call it sulkapallo or "featherball". Or actually i just shorten it to sulkkis. what would be the translation of that. just feather? tbh not many sports in english have shorter names. like do you seriously need to say "baseball" every time?

honestly i love the way finnish sports have such similar slang names. jäkis, futis, koris, pesis, sulkkis. something about ending a word in "is". and then theres tennis, which doesnt need to be shorter, and floorball or salibandy/ "säbä". God I love finnish. you can just make up a shorter name for something on the spot and still be understood.

ostoskeskus on ostari. nuorisotalo on nuokkari. kouluterveydenhoitaja is just terkkari. rehtori on reksi. opettaja ope. kahdeksikko on kasi. viisitoista and viistoist. if I want to be kind of over casual and blunt, instead of "en" i just say "e". though i never do that with "ei". I shorten kyllä to kyl, but only when i say "en kyllä". and its kinda silly that the informal word for kyllä is joo. svärje really just categorically casual. hold on how do you actually write it. was it sverige? yeah i think so. also its silly how different country names can be across languages. like I can still understand ranska and france, maybe, and sure usa and yhdysvallat, but like where does ruotsi ja venäjä come from? or viro for that matter.

and i used to say "mä" all the time, but recently ive been saying "mie" just because its more fun to say.

also funny thing, Brazil and Brasilia are already kind of confusing, but then finnish goes and calls them Brasilia and Brasilia. and its quite intriguing how some names, while written similarly to others, are pronounced completely differently. like georgia. amd then there's ones that are written differently but pronounced the same.

language is beautiful and weird. i love how stupid written finnish is because it was completely made up just to have some way to write it. yeah sure, sijamuodot work like this, who cares

#language #dont get me started on language because apparently i will fucking go off

[bubsub69]

Entry 1

entries 1-13 were written pre-tumblr

12/05/2023 4:08

4am what better time to start a diary, who knew waking up for 9am classes and then at noon on the next day and then 9am etc could fuck up your sleep schedule.

But yeah… why start a secret encrypted diary now? the first one i've ever made? idk, im just tired and afraid and sick of being lonely and touch starved and all the other stuff

Definetely didnt help to scroll through r/niceguys and seeing the I'm 21 kissless virgin that was bullied and ignored by girls that isnt sexist and racist and doesnt do drugs and thinking wow its literally me and then it being followed by females owe me sex the post: https://www.reddit.com/r/niceguys/comments/12n0m5q/ngvc_im_not_a_sexist_but_females_owe_me_sex/

cause you know… what if i become like this, what if i become an even bigger nuisance than i already am and/or fuck up my chances of ever finding someone, it's especially worrysome that i felt bad for some of the guys, you know simpathizing with the kind of people that call women whores for not wanting the nice guy, cant believe i went to the subreddit because of the omoriboy soy parody (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ahPdX90_6jg).

And then there's the someone i found ish just gonna call her D She replied to my post on the femdompersonals subreddit and it was pretty close to love at first sight, but probably very one sided, i mean shit she was now moving from the us to porto what better luck could i want. But she's been very busy, especially with the moving, it took from her texting me on the 26 of april to the 7th of may just to have a 1 hour call.

And boy that call was something, i literally think it was the only time i was genuinely happy in like.. i dunno a month? a year? more? i couldnt even sleep that night, i really needed that call cause i thought she was just fucking with me at that point, you know pretending to be interested and catfishing me for something but no i got a 1 hour call and she even showed me her face at the end, i was kinda expecting something sexual but no it was just getting to know each other which is fine for a first call, she's a really cool and interesting girl, i did think it was weird she just went to walk her dog mid conversation but i guess its something that cant wait, it probably had to pee as well.. maybe it was actually nice of her not to hang up on the call while she was walking the dog.

But yeah i'm kind of back at square one, shes not busy with moving but she has a million hobbies apparenly that she balances with her work and learning a new language and all that stuff, shes had a non specified workshop and a ceramics class as excuses which.. yeah im doubting if shes actually doing, i even commented wow you have a lot of hobbies which i was scared of doing cause i didnt want to imply shes lying even if i have the gut feeling she is, and it makes me feel awful to not trust her, but honestly i think i'd be fine with all that if she just put some initiative in texting, literally the only time she texted first was for a link to a game that she didnt even comment on, really makes ya wonder is she doing some 'woman games™' or just fucking with me or just seeing how far she can push me.. fuck i am becoming an incel, cause you know its the classic i have a life outside of you, you cant just expect me to make time for you everyday but fuck maybe the first call was a bad ideia cause now i just crave more, i seriously think theres some potential here but not if she doesnt have time for me, which im obviously not entitled to but ofc i still want it.

im just so scared of texting her, if i do it too often i might annoy her, if i dont do it enough she might forget about me.. i dont even know whats worse, i tried texting every other day but that also seems like too much, i dunno do i just wait for her to text me and make a call appoinment, it also kind of doesnt help i dont even know her name or age, granted she doesnt know my name either but yeah its another layer of anonymity that i want to get rid of, maybe i should try on the weekend, its when we had the call and she might have time, we'll see

She did kind of mention meeting up one day, dont know if she was just being nice of something, but i just wish i knew how she feels about me, or just get some advice with texting her, i dont want to be disingenuous either and write what someone else tells me to, how do i balance being needy and not annoying.

and theres also the voice.. i'm honestly starting to worry im losing control to the self degrading voice i have inside me, that thing is real mean, its whats making me distrust her and shit, i even thought i 'defeated' it with the call but it just came back same as before. The youre useless and an annoyance and all those thoughts are kind of starting to worry me a bit, especially since the suicide thoughts are becoming a bit too common, im still far from it, im too scared to do it, but the first step of commiting suicide is having the reason to do it, and i also think im kind of becoming a psycopath, not in the edgy way its just ive become so apathetic lately, the 'mom would be sad' strategy doesnt work at all cause im so sick of her, between being annoying and not trusting me and being dumb and the shit she did to my cousin and kind of being blamed cause shes getting unknown disease cause of stress, ive kind of grown to hate her a bit i did cry a bit when i got my cousin's graduation ribbon (its a thing here, you write shit like good job and good luck), reading the only ribbon that i got that wasnt just generic garbage made me tear up a bit, not immediately just when i got home, and it didnt help when she hugged me and said if you ever leave pls take me with you, so yeah maybe im not apathetic i just hate my mother

There's also my cat, im kind of getting… idk sick of him too angry, it just feels like he doesnt like me sometimes, which is absurd he comes to greet me and only me when i arrive and hes actually been sleeping a bit with me tonight and yesterday, but the biting when i pet him is really annoying.. what am i saying its just cat stuff its normal. I am feeling kinda weird when i pet him and think damn i wish i was the one being petted (not by him ofc), you know just lying on girls lap and being petted, r/cuddle_slut really made me realize how fucking touch starved i am.

Or maybe i should just move on from her.. maybe she doesnt want that kind of relationship, i really dont want to start talking to someone else while im talking with her tough, feels real scummy, i kind of did that with someone on skype, i had a couple of sessions with her but she kind of stopped texting me as i was talking to D which was lucky, but in those sessions i had full video on and she didnt even use her voice so i guess its kind of fair, she was also the one that took the initiative texting so who knows maybe shes doing what im planning on doing, letting her text first which didnt really work out for her cause i didnt and now our last message is from the 28th. typing this really discouraged me from the let her text first and see what happens strategy, i guess ill settle for trying on the weekend tough this saturday i have the ribbon party so hopefully i have time and energy to call her

Maybe ill just try some keyholding, just to do something sexual that isnt just showing my junk and locking it or putting my finger in my ass for the skype girl, but the problem with keyholding is that it might take some time.. what if while im locked D wants to do something and i reveal i've been """unfaithfull""" i think im gonna wait a bit more for her i really want things to work out with her she just seems like a really cool person but im worried im too much of a loser for her, the very busy woman who managed commitees has a million hobbies and her boyfriend who's a stay at home gamer

I guess that's it for first entry, hopefully when I'm rereading this im in a better state, or maybe im showing this to my therapist or hey maybe even D or whatever her name is, overall not bad for a first diary entry i think, i got to rant a bit even if it was just on a keyboard, i think im gonna start writing here a bit, some non sad stuff as well hopefully

maybe ill dump this on some ai text and see what happens (garbage pretty much)

See you on entry 2 i guess.

PS wow its 5:15 was not expecting to spend an hour writing this

#diary

[textsacc]

mm 🥺 nvm bestie i cant sleeb i have a lot to say n think abt

like how when i put my head down on a pillow n close my eyes i can rly see mc and its bad idw to 🥺 n also now im feeling regret for playing mc im so upset bc i cant seem to feel good abt being able to play games

mmm n also i felt bad trying to sleeb bc i missed u n miss sleebbing w u but was playing mc and i prefer u to minecraft and its just !!!! bad that i had to focus on minecrafr

like i didnt even get to ask u abt ur day or anth i ddint get to tell u that u did a great job w the party i didnr get to ask how u celebrated. u know what i also realize while laying down. i didnt even get to ask u out this summer n im so frustrated bc sch is starting for u n idw interrupt your schedule but i wanna do stuff now that im finally not busy and its just!!! its just a whole mess!!! i dont like it,,, i just wanna spend time tgt n cuddle,,,

i was only reading some manga today, regular fantasy isekai, called reincarnation of a sword, but i hated how the story progressed so i just. got rly mad at the state of my life rn idk???? tired n upset abt it n also i miss u n like cant believe i want to prioritize u above all else no joke its kind of }:v mood??? idk

n also i wanted to ask for clash but like thats secondary

jn me in mc i was playing w kon n sab n we were killing the ender dragon n also raiding some cities aft that. which is rly high pressure bc theres a lot of enemies after me n its rly easy to die AND i was the only one raiding it bc kon n sab cldnt help as much so they took forever while trying to get to a place i alr cleared out. i was trynna go fast n get the impt stuff for them n get out bc we all hated the place. n they yelled at me for stealing the show n flexing ig

tmr ill b going to sabs house bc they wanna hang out b4 going to nex to eat dinner w yee. and that sounds rly nice but at the same time i feel rly burnt out for sm reason. yes its 4am ig thats probably why i feel awful but. idk i also want cuddles n kisses ig. i wan cute girl (you) n im sorry i didnt get to see u off to sleeb 🥺 i rly wanted to n i was trynna raid asap so i cld but ik ur good girl n sleeb early bc school n i respect that so its nbd but i also rly like u n i wanna tuck u into bed n its like so routine that i miss u dearly at night n also it feels wrong when i cant. like if every day was a chapter you wld b my ending paragraph and if u werent there it wld feel like the chapter ended with tension. idk does that make any sense

also i wanted to lyk that like. im still talking to katelyn right bc of the site n we're friends but like. bestie. i need u to know i forgot to spell her name when we were talking. the aftnoon like 3 to 4 days ago when u were like gonna go ask katelyn or smth. she was going to sleeb bc our aftnoon is usa sleeby time i think and she said goodnight to me with my name but i cldnt mirror it back. i dont know why i thought it was kaitlyn (league of legends???) but ik i dont rmb how to spell it and the fact that u did makes me rly upset platonically and impressed every other manner. because i fucking didnt. 😭 just ic u wanna know how much shes on my mind (shes not. i miss u a whole lot. i want to sleeb w u agn)

bestie i hope ur day at sch goes okay 🥺🥺 n ill sleeb early w u i promise im not even gonna touch mc past 11 any more idk why it makes me feel sick but ik it does n im just. i want to stop feeling awful n up at 3 to 6 am during the hols. i miss you a lot n if i cld i wld like to follow u everywhere n help u out 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 pls keep me close like ur pet or ur little meow meow,,,

ilysm cutie 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 i wish i was cuddling u instead of blahaj atm even if he is comfy. i wan giv u so many kiss n brush ur hair n tell u ur cute n go head empty i always go head empty when ur arnd and i like that... ure an angel 🥺🥺🥺🙏❤️

thank u bestie gnight 🥺🥺🙏

[butterflyyeo]

drunk in love

pairing - yeosang x fem reader

genre - fluff, angst (?)

tw - lots of alcohol consumption, swearing

wc - 10k

side ships - seongjoong, yungi

a/n -- was meant to be angst but turned into fluff... im trying my best to get better at writing angst aaaah. but please enjoy this for now <3 thanks for letting me tag you @iminchaosnow !!

------------------------------------------- you had known kang yeosang for nearly two years now. two, dreadfully slow and exhausting years.it was your final year of high school when he transferred to your school, he was a close family friend of wooyoung's. his parents had spoken highly of the school, insisting that yeosang transfers in order to excel for his last year of schooling. as far as you were concerned, he had decent grades, but he preferred to spend his time hanging around the skatepark after dark, when everyone else had left.

and in all the two years you'd known him, you had never once had a full conversation with him, despite being in your group of friends. his side of the 'conversation' usually consisted of monotonous 'yeahs' and 'mhms'. wooyoung constantly assured you it was because he's shy and that he'd eventually open up. but you weren't convinced. you tried so hard for him to like you, but your efforts were fruitless. it was infuriating, feeling like you were constantly doing something wrong whenever you were around him.

you currently found yourself in the backseat of yeosang's car, wedged between a drunken yunho and mingi while a chaotic wooyoung was singing along to his chosen playlist. (though, it sounded more like wailing.)

you and the eight boys had all decided to take a gap year, spend every last cent you earned on adventure and alcohol to make lifelong memories, before your careers became a blockade in your friendship. but the year was coming to an end soon, it was already mid november. on the bright side, that meant your favourite holidays were just weeks away.

yeosang was always the designated driver. that was something you had noticed about him over the last few years. to be honest, you weren't sure just how he coped with a screeching wooyoung, because you sure as hell weren't dealing very well with yunho and mingi who were playing a very intense game of rock paper scissors to decide who would be crashing on the couch in your apartment.

"i win!" mingi cheered, waving his hands excitedly. "you're on the couch, man."

yunho frowned, "damn."

you laughed, "it's okay, yunho. you can share the bed with me if you'd like."

"hey! that's not fair y/n! you said i could this time." wooyoung whined from the front seat.

"sorry, woo. you know i keep my promises, but you're going back to your apartment. remember?" you tried to reason.

wooyoung looked as though someone had switched a lightbulb on behind his eyes, "oh yeah! i forgot."

the four of you burst into laughter, mainly caused by the alcohol and partially because of wooyoung's realisation. and still, yeosang didn't crack a smile, hands just gripping the steering wheel tighter as his knuckles turned white.

soon, you arrived outside your apartment block, quickly stepping out the car after yunho. wooyoung wound his window down and you poked your head in, attempting to hug him goodbye.

"bye woo!" you said, giggling at your faltered farewell.

"good night y/n, thanks for the drinks!" he shouted, exclaiming a bit too loudly next to your ear.

"thanks for the lift as always, yeosang!" you yelled, pulling away from wooyoung's tight hug.

he nodded, "no problem." before putting the window up and driving away.

you pouted, turning around to face the two boys. "i just don't understand what i'm doing wrong." you buried your face into your hands, "why doesn't he like me?" you groaned.

"y/n." mingi began, "its nearly 1am, its way too late for this 'why does yeosang hate me?' crap." he shook your shoulders, literally trying to shake some sense into you.

"yeah, mingi's right. we've had this discussion a thousand times." yunho said grasping your wrist and pulling you up the stairs, stumbling along the way. (because lets be real, stairs are difficult enough as it is, let alone when drunk.) "now, let us into your apartment so we can eat your food and crash on your couch!" he joked, nudging mingi in a playful manner.

you reached into your pocket and fumbled around with they key for a moment before unlocking the door. the boys practically pushed you inside and made a beeline for the fridge.

"help yourselves! i'm going to shower." you called, dragging yourself to your bedroom.

once you'd finished showering you went back to the living room to check on yunho and mingi. not so much to your surprise, they had fallen asleep on your couch already, cuddled up into each other. it was cute, even picture worthy to show their sober selves. you reached for your phone which typically lived in your pocket, though you began to panic when it wasn't there. hurrying around the apartment, you searched every possible nook and cranny for your phone, but it was nowhere to be found. you collapsed onto your bed, snuggling into the soft sheets, too tired to worry about your phone anymore and content with the assumption that you'd left it in yeosang's car.

shortly, your heavy eyes fell shut and you began to sleep away the tequila.

————————

the next morning you awoke to mingi and yunho's deep, hungover voices, discussing their plans for the next week.

you reluctantly pulled yourself out of bed and dawdled down the hallway.

"ah! there's our favourite karaoke partner!" yunho greeted, jokingly.

you laughed, "shh, don't let wooyoung hear you say that."

"she's right, man. he'd be so offended." mingi said, stretching out his sore limbs. "how are you feeling today, y/n?" he asked.

"not the worst hangover i've had. what about you guys? you're welcome to stay here as long as you'd like, until you feel better." you replied, knowing them well enough to know that they'd need at least a few painkillers and a good meal before they went home.

yunho chuckled, "i feel like crap, but nothing a sandwich and glass of water can't solve."

"i second that." mingi said, raising a hand.

"okay, well in that case, i'll go to the store and get something for breakfast. sound good?" you reasoned, running a hand through your hair. you loved these boys, and making them breakfast was just a nice way of showing you cared. drunk or not, they knew how to make you smile and laugh, which they loved to see.

"sounds amazing!" yunho said, breaking into a sincere smile.

you quickly changed out of your pyjamas and slipped some shoes on.

"i might be a bit longer, i need to stop by yeosang's. i think i left my phone in his car." you explained, picking your keys up from the kitchen counter. "see you guys soon! feel free to take a shower if you want." you said, waving goodbye and heading out the door.

"okay, bye y/n!" the boys called from behind you.

the first stop was yeosang's apartment, he only lived about ten minutes away with wooyoung and san, in the same building as jongho. both yunho and mingi lived on the other side of town, which is why they so often crashed at your place after parties. seonghwa and hongjoong were fortunate enough to live in a house, just outside town, they had actually been the hosts of last night's party.

it didn't take long to get there. you pushed open the lobby door and made your way over to the elevator, disappointed to see that it was out of order for maintenance. instead, you took the stairs and began spiralling upwards. less than a minute later you looked up, only to bump into the man you came looking for.

"oh, yeosang! i'm so sorry, i didn't mean to." you quickly apologised, worried about creating another reason for him to dislike you.

"it's fine." he shrugged.

you both began to talk again at the same time, "ah, sorry, you go."

"i was just gonna say, you left your phone in my car. actually, i was about to bring it back." he pulled your phone from the pocket of his jacket, handing it to you. as he did, your fingers brushed against his. he spun around suddenly and began to walk away, "i'll see you around."

he had left before you even had a chance to thank him. slightly confused and frustrated, you turned back around and traipsed down the stairs.

you gathered what you needed for a hearty breakfast at the local convenience store before heading home and spending the rest of the day in the enjoyable company of yunho and mingi.

yeosang had entered back into his apartment and sat down on the couch.

"back already?" wooyoung asked, rummaging through the fridge.

"she was coming to get her phone and i ran into her on the staircase."

wooyoung sighed, "when are you gonna stop hating her?"

"i don't hate her." yeosang said, not looking up from his phone.

"then why do you act like you do?"

yeosang pretended to not hear that question and continued to scroll through his phone. see, he'd rather not dwell on things that he couldn't understand.

————————

to fill up your weekdays during your gap year, you had picked up a job at a hotel in town as a receptionist. to your dismay, your boss had asked you to work night shift all week, which is how you found yourself here on thursday night, sitting alert and waiting for the slight chance that someone might check in at this time of night. it was a pretty fancy hotel, and the job payed well enough, so really, you had nothing to complain about.

the nights seemed to drag on for an eternity. to keep yourself busy, you often wasted time counting the cars that drove past, or tried to count the number of crystals that hung from the chandelier. so far, only a few people had checked in during your shift, having come from overseas and recently arriving at the airport. honestly, whenever someone walked through the front door, lugging a suitcase behind them, you got excited as it gave you something to do.

the clock was creeping up to 4am and you let out a quiet yawn, feeling drowsy as your body clock hadn't yet adjusted to the change of sleeping patterns on such short notice. taking a sip of water, you shook your head, trying to stay awake. your head suddenly jolted up at the sound of the front door opening.

a man stumbled forward, and you'd seen enough zombie movies to become instantly paranoid. you quickly pushed the thought out of your head, feeling ridiculous for even considering it. but as the man got closer, you could smell the cheap, potent alcohol lingering on his body.

he leant against the desk, peering down at you. "i need a room for the night."  he grumbled. "my stupid wife kicked me out." he said under his breath.

you forced a friendly smile, despite feeling uneasy, "of course! i just need you to fill in this form with some simple details." you said, sliding across a clipboard and a pen.

he huffed, picking up the pen and scribbling onto the sheet of paper before pushing it back to you. "can i go now?"

"just a moment, sir." you replied, eyes skimming over the form as you copied the information into the computer in front of you.

the man was growing impatient, stepping from foot to foot with his arms crossed.

"uh, sir, you missed a part of the form. could you please provide your phone number here." you pointed to the empty space on the sheet.

"for fucks sake." he muttered, "i don't have my phone on me and i don't know my phone number." he said, annoyedly tapping on the desk.

"i'm really sorry, sir, but—"

"can't you just find me a fucking room?" he snapped, hands balled into fists and slamming against the desk, making you jump in fright.

before you had time to try and reason with him, he continued to shout.

"you're as stupid as my wife! i'll just find a different fucking hotel." he yelled, swiping the clipboard and pen off the desk. "useless bitch." he mumbled as he kicked over a chair on his way out.

you chewed your bottom lip, trying to fight back the tears. with shaky hands, you picked up your phone and dialled the first place that came to mind. after a few rings, the phone answered.

"woo?" you croaked, trying hard to not cry.

"he's asleep. this is yeosang." he replied, evidently having just woken up by the sound of his voice.

"oh." you began, instantly feeling guilty for waking him up, "i'm sorry i didn't mean to disturb you."

"did you need something?" he asked.

"i just, i was..." you let out a sob, wiping at a tear falling from your eye.

this didn't go unnoticed by yeosang, "are you crying? what are you doing awake right now anyway?"

"i'm at work." you managed to choke out.

"at 4am?"

"i'm on night shift."

"why are you crying then?" he asked, feeling something slightly tug at his heart, but choosing to ignore it.

you began to ramble, "a man came in and he was really drunk and complaining about his wife and then he yelled at me because i asked him to give his phone number and—"

"i'm on my way." yeosang cut you off.

"what?"

"i'll be there in ten." with that, he hung up the phone.

exactly ten minutes later, you were sat in the passenger seat of yeosang's car. he was dressed in sweats, clearly having come straight from bed. you'd left a note on the desk, explaining to your coworker why you wouldn't be there when she arrived to take over your shift. a silence filled the car, and you felt the need to talk, but chose not to, worried about giving yeosang another reason to hate you.

once you arrived outside your apartment building, you were surprised that yeosang got out the car too and trailed closely behind you up the stairs to your apartment. when you reached the door you spun around to face him.

"thank you for bringing me home." you said, voice quiet and still rather shaken up.

"it's no problem. good night, y/n." he replied, sensing that you were still upset. he suddenly felt this overwhelming urge to wrap his arms around you tightly and not let go until you stopped crying. he wanted to protect you from every drunk idiot on the planet. he wanted to make you feel safe.

but instead, he watched as you closed the door behind you and locked it from inside.

————————

you arrived at work the next morning, instantly feeling more comfortable with cleaners, employees and people coming and going. immediately, you headed for your boss's office.

"good morning, sir. i just wanted to come and apologise for leaving my shift early last night. i can assure you it won't happen again." you said, feeling nervous as to what your boss might say.

he shook his head, "i should be the one apologising, a man came in this morning and spoke very sternly about the safety problems here. i realise now how stupid it was of me to make you work night shift, alone, at such a young age. we've hired security guards and have also made sure that two people will be on desk at all times. i'm sorry that you had to deal with that."

you were at a loss for words, you didn't think that there would be such drastic changes just from the once incident. "thank you so much." you replied.

"for now, take the rest of the day off. you'll only be working day shifts for next week and can return to doing night shifts whenever you feel ready to do so." your boss said, motioning for the door.

the rest of the day you spent in deep sleep, catching up on some much overdue rest.

———————

weeks passed and you found that work was much more enjoyable. you still hadn't returned to working night shifts, but at least now you had someone to run the front desk with you and keep you company.

this weekend, you were going to visit hongjoong and seonghwa. hongjoong was sick and so you decided to go help out since seonghwa couldn't always be there to look after him.

you knocked on their front door and was surprised to be greeted by san.

"good afternoon! come in." he gave you a hug before ushering you inside.

"what are you doing here?" you said, following him down the hall.

in the living room, you saw all eight of the boys gathered around a couch-ridden hongjoong.

"jongho was already here when me, yeosang and woo arrived." san explained.

"yeah, and then mingi and yunho turned up." wooyoung continued.

"y/n! i have never been more glad to see you! you gotta save me from them." hongjoong laughed, arms open, signalling for a hug.

you went over and embraced him in a hug, "good thing i brought an excessive amount of cookies." you said, placing the box of cookies on the coffee table next to the couch. the table was covered in empty mugs and bowls, you could tell seonghwa had been busy and hadn't had the chance to clean up. you opened up the box and handed him a cookie before offering them around to the rest of the boys.

"you're the best cook ever." mingi said, taking a big bite.

"i made you spaghetti last night!" yunho countered, feeling offended that his roommate didn't think he was the better cook. mingi just laughed and took another bite.

"jongho get off the counter, please." seonghwa said, coming through the front door. "don't be so comfortable, you were throwing up in my toilet like a month ago." he joked.

yeosang glanced your way, his eyebrows furrowed like he was contemplating something.

"lets head off and give these two some space." yunho said, dragging mingi behind him.

wooyoung stood up, "yeah, lets get going."

yeosang pulled his keys from his pocket, "okay, bye guys." he said, heading down the hallway.

"can we get some food on the way home?" you heard san call as they left.

"bye hongjoong! i hope you're feeling better soon." jongho said, "bye seonghwa, i promise i won't throw up in your toilet any time soon." he joked, leaving through the front door.

"seonghwa, how are you? don't forget to take some time for yourself as well." you frowned.

"i'm tired, but i'll be okay. i just gotta clean up and—"

"why don't you go rest a while? i can keep hongjoong company for a few hours." you reasoned, wanting to help as much as possible. there was nothing you hated more than seeing you friends in distress and upset.

he looked between hongjoong and yourself, "i couldn't."

hongjoong let out an audible huff, "hwa! will you just let her help please, she clearly wants to."

you grinned, "exactly, now go read or sleep or watch some tv or something." you said, gently pushing him towards their shared bedroom.

you spent the afternoon tidying up and talking with hongjoong. you managed to do all the dishes and put them away before scouring their kitchen, deciding on what you could use for dinner. you found everything you needed for a decent meal and began cooking it up. hongjoong had dozed off mid conversation, surrounded in a pile of tissues, you chose to let him sleep so he would recover quicker.

about an hour later, you placed two steamy hot meals onto their dining table next to two full glasses of water. you quietly knocked on their bedroom door, finding seonghwa asleep amongst the covers.

you gently shook him awake, "hwa, i made dinner for you guys. you can wake joong up, i'll head off now." you said with a smile.

leaving the two of them to enjoy their dinner, you headed home and cooked yourself something to eat. it was nice having some time to yourself, but saturday nights were becoming more and more empty as winter grew closer. december was only days away and the year would soon come to an end. you reached for the phone, suddenly desperately missing your friends despite only seeing them hours ago.

"hey woo, are you free next weekend?" you asked.

he paused a moment, "i think so, why?"

"you wanna go out with the others? it's been a while since we have all caught up for drinks."

"count me in!" wooyoung cheered.

you called everyone else up and they all agreed, even hongjoong promised to come if he was feeling better.

————————

you found yourself surrounded by wooyoung, san, yunho and mingi as the music blared. it was a less popular club on the far side of town but it was a comfortable place for you all. you often came here for drinks and the staff members knew you, quite well, a little too well. san grabbed your hand and spun you around a few times with the music.

you laughed, leaning against him, "maybe spinning around isn't the best idea right after two shots of vodka."

"what?" san yelled into your ear, struggling to hear you over the music.

you laughed louder, pulling him closer to you, "i said, spinning is not a good idea after drinking vodka!"

"oh!" he joined you in laughing before trying to twirl you around once more.

hongjoong and seonghwa sat at the bar, holding hands and being intimate as always. yeosang was sat next to jongho at a booth, quietly talking with him, but from the corner of your eye, you saw jongho stand up and walk away. your eyes watched him worriedly and you couldn't help but run after him. you followed him as best you could, stumbling every now and then. he'd gone to the bathroom so you patiently waited outside until he came back, looking slightly pale.

you practically leapt at him, doing a quick scan to make sure he was okay, "jongho? are you alright?"

he smiled at your overwhelming concern, "yeah, i just drank too much as usual. i'll be alright, you can go back to dancing."

"let me just get you some water first. i'll be right back okay?" you patted his shoulder. "don't go anywhere i'll be back in a second."

you made your way back to where jongho had been sitting with yeosang. as you approached, yeosang eyed you up and down, taking in your drunken state, though, it wasn't the first time he'd seen you this way. you nearly tripped as you reached the table, struggling to walk in heels.

"i need a glass of water, do you have a glass of water? jongho needs a glass of water." you mumbled to yourself, reaching for the jug in the center of the table.

"are you okay?" yeosang asked, quickly pushing your hand away from the jug.

"i'm okay, but jongho needs water. can i take this cup? he's waiting for me, i told him not to go anywhere, i need to get back to jongho—" you tried to pick up a glass but yeosang pressed your hand back down once more.

"i'll take it to him, you stay here." he said, filling the cup full with water and heading towards the bathrooms.

your brain suddenly felt fuzzy and your eyes became blurry, it was like the alcohol hit your system all at once. your head spun round and round and you leaned forward, resting your hands on your head. you'd never felt this sick from drinking, maybe you'd had too much too quickly, maybe it was the spinning. there was no way to tell, all you knew was that you felt like you were about to fall from the top of a very high roller coaster.

your eyes felt increasingly heavy, you allowed them to slip shut, head falling to the table with a not so gentle thud.

"y/n?" someone shook you, "y/n wake up!" it was wooyoung.

"shit, is she okay? should we call an ambulance?" jongho said, reaching for his phone.

"is she breathing? has anyone checked?" seonghwa gently lifted your shoulders and sat you upright, relieved to see the rise and fall of your chest. "we should call a taxi and get her home."

"are you crazy? she's unconscious, she won't be able to get up the stairs to her apartment! what if the driver is dodgy? she's already had to deal with shitty men while working night shift, imagine if something happened while she's drunk!" yeosang blurted out. the boys were shocked over his sudden concern for you. yeosang had never once shown any interest or care for you in the presence of them.

"well, what should we do then?" mingi asked, worriedly running a hand through his hair.

"i'll take her, you've all been drinking." yeosang concluded. "she'll be fine, don't worry. enjoy the rest of your night, okay? i've dealt with woo passing out before remember?"

"that's true." san said, throwing a light hearted glare in wooyoung's direction, who showed a rather sheepish expression.

the boys went back to their drinks, taking it a little slower now and yeosang carried you to his car. it wasn't easy, but he managed to sit you upright in the back seat of his car with his rear view mirror aimed directly at you so he could make sure you were okay.

he was able to lift you up the stairs and get your house key from the pocket of your jacket, which would've looked questionable to anyone else, but he had the best intentions. he sat you down in a dining chair, watching as your head lolled forward and your body slumped. he quickly filled a glass of water and came back to you.

"y/n." he whispered, resting a hand on your shoulder. "y/n." he said again, louder this time.

the last thing he wanted to do was hurt you, but you weren't waking up and that was becoming concerning. he shook your shoulder, as gently as he possible could in a moment like this, and to his relief, your eyes hesitantly opened.

your head felt like a bowling ball and you groaned quietly. "yeosang?"

"here." he said holding the cup to your lips, allowing you to take a small sip.

"how did we get here?" you mumbled, head rolling to the side.

he caught your head and carefully pushed you back upright, "i drove you, this is your apartment."

"oh." you said, eyes drooping shut again. "oh." you repeated.

"y/n, i really need you to stay awake right now." he said, bringing the cup to your mouth again. "lets talk."

"we never talk!" you exclaimed. "this is the longest conversation we've ever had!"

"i know." he said, pulling up a chair to sit directly in front of you. yeosang felt that slight tug at his heart again tonight, the way you sounded so excited just to talk with him.

"no, no, no." you whined, "this is so bad!"

"what is it?"

you pouted before nervously biting your lip, "i'm really sorry."

"for what?" he questioned, leaning back in his chair.

"for ruining your night and making you stay here with me! now you just have another reason to hate me." you sighed, letting your head fall into your hands.

"i could never hate you." he said, voice barely above a whisper.

but you had fallen back asleep, so yeosang sat you upright once more and monitored you closely all night. with every minute that passed, he wished more and more that it was easier for him to show his emotions, to you especially. he wondered if maybe he wasn't so closed off that things would be different between the two of you. but it was hard for him, to let people in, he was afraid. afraid of people judging the real him, afraid of what might happen if he lets himself become vulnerable, afraid of facing his feelings about you.

you awoke hours later with a raging headache and extreme nausea. you headed straight for the bathroom and hunched over the toilet, feeling the sickest you'd ever felt. yeosang waited patiently outside the bathroom door with a glass of water and painkillers.

when you came out, he held his hand out, "take this."

you looked down at his hand and then up at him, slightly confused, "what are you doing here?"

"you passed out last night, and i drove you home because everyone else had been drinking." he said, passing the glass of water.

"oh my god." you ran a hand through your hair, "yeosang, i'm so sorry. i didn't mean to be any trouble! you must of been here all night, i promise it won't happen again, that was so stupid of me—"

"it's fine, don't worry about it." he said, shrugging, "i'll get going now, but make sure you take it easy and drink enough water." his eyes carefully scanned your body one last time, making sure you were really okay. he headed for the door and you followed.

"i'm really sorry." you frowned, feeling as though no amount of apologies would make it up to him.

he let out a slight chuckle, "it's okay, seriously y/n." he said before leaving. you heard the all too familiar jingle of his keys as the door closed behind him.

he'd stayed with you all night, eyes watching over you closely. ready at your side whenever you stirred in your sleep. he'd been there in the morning prepared with water and painkillers. this was never how it was, usually this was your job, taking care of the boys. it was your way of showing you cared, helping out wherever possible.

this wasn't like yeosang. at all.

————————

as soon as yeosang got home he was greeted by a very concerned san and wooyoung.

"is she okay?"

"are you tired?"

"did she wake up?"

he was bombarded by questions.

"she's okay, she fell asleep after a while and i made her take some painkillers when she woke up." yeosang said, collapsing onto the couch.

"so you really don't hate her then." wooyoung thought aloud.

"he can't, he spent the whole night looking after her!" san said, hitting wooyoung like it was obvious.

"owww," wooyoung rubbed his arm, "even she thinks you don't like her!"

"i know, she said last night. but she probably won't remember saying that." yeosang said, feeling increasingly drowsy from his lack of sleep.

"maybe you guys should like, talk things out?" san suggested, taking a seat next to him.

"maybe." yeosang said, drifting off into sleep.

you had spent the day curled up in bed, wondering how you could make it up to yeosang, and there was nothing more you wanted than to get to know him better, but what would he want? you called up san on that thought.

"hey sannie," you said, "i need your help, actually, is woo there as well?"

"oh my god she's alive!" you heard wooyoung call from beside san.

"what do you need help with?" san asked.

you paused a moment, "is yeosang there?"

"well yes, but he's asleep."

you groaned, "i feel so bad that he stayed up all night looking after me. i really wanna make it up to him but i don't know how. plus, it's not like he's that fond of me. maybe i should just thank him by staying out of his space."

"i don't think he'd like that." wooyoung interjected. "i still think he just needs time before opening up to you."

"i think its just me." you sighed, worriedly chewing on your bottom lip.

"hey! don't be like that! there's no reason to not like you." san scolded you for down talking yourself as he always does.

"agreed." wooyoung said, chiming in.

"i'm sure i'll work something out. thanks guys! enjoy the rest of your day!" you said.

"good luck!"

"bye y/n!"

————————

you had been staring at your phone for at least an hour, typing and retyping the message to yeosang. wooyoung gave you his number so that you could contact him when you'd finally worked out how to make it up to him. in the end, you decided that you would let him decide.

you drew in a sharp breath and squeezed your eyes tightly shut as you pressed send.

you: hey yeosang, i still feel really bad about the other day, i wanna know how i can make it up to you !!

yeosang: did wooyoung give you my number? T~T

you: yes he did.. i hope thats okay !

yeosang: of course yeosang: how about you make it up to me over a cup of coffee? >.<

you: that sounds great !! you: when are you free ?

yeosang: does tomorrow morning work for you ? i can pick you up ^_^

you: of course ! i'll see you tomorrow :)

yeosang sat in his room, facepalming. why was it so easy to be more open over text?

you on the other hand, felt your heart swell in a bizarre way. maybe it was the way you hadn't expected him to use such cute little emoticons. maybe it was the way that you'd be able to have a full conversation with him. whatever it was, excitement had taken over you.

————————

a knock pounded at your door and you rushed to open it.

"ready to go?" he asked, leaning against the door frame coolly.

"yes, lets go!" you said, sounding a little too excited.

the two of you made your way down the stairs and into yeosang's car. you found yourself smiling as you looked out the window.

your excitement hadn't gone unnoticed, "you seem awfully excited."

"i really wanted to make it up to you," you beamed. "it must've been boring to watch over me all night."

"i didn't mind so much." he said, shrugging.

you frowned, "you shouldn't of done it."

"and leave you passed out in the club?" he quirked an eyebrow up at you.

"well..."

"exactly." he said, parking the car outside a small cafe nearby his apartment. "come on, lets go inside."

you followed him in and took a seat across from him at a table close to the window. you both ordered coffees and resumed conversation.

"so, where were we?" you smiled, taking a sip of coffee.

"talking about how you wanted me to leave you passed out in the club." he said. you were almost convinced you saw a teasing smile pulling at his lips.

"right. i'm so sorry about that."

this time he actually chuckled, and you were taken aback. it was like the wall yeosang had surrounding himself was crumbling before your eyes.

"you need to apologise less." he laughed, bringing his coffee cup to his mouth for a sip. "half of the time we talk its just you saying sorry to me."

"i'm so—"

"hey!" the two of you broke into laughter.

his laugh was loud but warm and you couldn't help but notice the way his nose scrunched up cutely, the way his eyes looked full of stars and the way he brushed his hair out of his eyes after, revealing his beautiful birthmark. from that point on, you wanted to be the one to make him laugh every day.

he felt that familiar tug at his heart, the one he'd been feeling every moment he spent alone with you. the one he felt when he first met you. the one he couldn't make any sense of. it was as though his heart was a violin and you were the one playing it. (which would explain the tugging feeling.) but you were playing the sweetest song and he never wanted it to end.

the two of you laughed the morning away, gradually making up for what you'd missed over two years in a matter of two hours.

you'd discovered that even after getting him to open up more, he wasn't one for words. you found yourself talking his ear off while he listened intently, occasionally sharing his opinions and stories. in all his honesty, he didn't mind listening to you talk. he could've sat there all day, drinking countless cups of coffee, watching the way you bit your bottom lip whenever you paused to think or the way your eyes filled with sparkles when you talked about something that made you happy.

you insisted on paying for the infinite cups of coffee, as it was your way of making it up to him. he reluctantly agreed, but promised that he would pay if there ever was a next time, which he secretly hoped there would be. he'd finally had the chance to let his walls down. (it was actually more like you'd climbed the walls and torn them down with your bare hands.) but he was thankful for it.

he drove you back to your apartment, even after you persisted on walking home, seeing as it wasn't that far. he refused, insisting that he drive you. he even followed you up the stairs to the door of your apartment.

you turned around to face him, "you know, you're not so bad when you actually wanna talk to me."

"you know, you're not so bad when you're not drunk." he countered, his lips breaking into a playful grin.

you glared jokingly, "hey! don't make me apologise again."

"okay, okay. i won't." he said, raising his hands in defence.

you smiled, resting against the door, "alright, well, i've really enjoyed hanging out with you today. maybe we should catch up more often."

"maybe we should." he said, bearing a coy smile, "bye, y/n. i'll see you around."

————————

it was only about a week later he showed up at your work, at the end of your shift. you were pleasantly surprised to see him, and at first thought he was just someone coming to book a room.

"hello, are you looking for a r— yeosang?"

"when do you get off work?" he asked, glancing over to the clock.

"five minutes."

"i'll be waiting in the car, okay?" he said, turning on his heel and heading for the door.

on his way out, you saw as he ran into your boss, the two of them beginning conversation.

"it's good to see you've made those security changes." yeosang said as he nodded, extending his arm for a friendly handshake. "i'm very thankful."

your boss shook his hand, "and i'm thankful that you suggested them."

just over five minutes later you got into the passenger seat of yeosang's car.

"it was you who told my boss about the safety problems." you said, in near disbelief.

"hello, to you too." he joked sarcastically. "well, i would hate to think that the situation could happen again, so i just suggested some possible improvements. thats all." he shrugged like it was nothing.

"suddenly, i feel the need to make it up to you again." you smiled shyly.

"you can do that by accompanying me to the skate park." he said, motioning to his skateboard on the back seat.

"ah, so thats why you came."

"well yeah, i wanted to bring you to the skate park."

your heart swelled once again, feeling joyed that he wanted to share one of his favourite places with you. (despite him never telling you directly, you knew he loved the skate park as he spent majority of his high school time there when he wasn't studying.)

when you arrived, the sun was beginning to slip behind the horizon, causing the sky to glow a rosy pink. there were still a few kids, probably high schoolers, hanging around the park. you took a seat at a bench and waited for yeosang to come over, who was getting his skateboard out the car. you felt oddly out of place since you were still in your neat work uniform and didn't know the first thing about skateboarding.

yeosang rolled over with a grin plastered onto his face, you'd never seen him so happy, and it made you happy to see him this way. it was strange how all it took was a few cups of coffee for him to become a completely different person around you.

he didn't need to ask you to watch as your eyes were already glued to him as he dropped into the bowl, showing countless tricks and flips.

the truth was in fact that yeosang was grateful for you 'making it up to him'. he'd never been able to comprehend his feelings for you, if they were even feelings at all. he hated the confusion and decided it was easier to ignore it, and to an extent, ignore you, to make it go away. it had been working for the most part, until every time the two of you were alone together, he couldn't ignore the slight tug at his heart, that was becoming more of a pull over the last few weeks.

"you're amazing!" you cheered as he sat down next to you, out of breath.

"thanks." he smiled shyly, running a hand through his hair and out of his face. he leaned back, looking up at the sky. "do you sometimes wish you could see the stars from within the city? hongjoong and seonghwa are so lucky they can see them from their house."

you pondered a moment, thinking about the last time you actually saw stars in the sky. "i see stars in your eyes sometimes." you said, absent minded.

he felt warmth burning in his cheeks, "you do?"

"do what?" you turned to him, "did i say that out loud?" you gasped, covering your face in embarrassment. "i'm sorry, i didn't mean to say that it was just a thought and—"

"what did i say about apologising?" he laughed. "it's getting cold, right? you ready to head home?" he asked.

you smiled, "if you are."

he drove you home and said goodbye, feeling happy about spending time alone with you once again. he couldn't stop thinking about what you said and you couldn't stop feeling like a fool for saying it.

————————

the weather got colder and colder and soon it began to snow as the days of december passed. you had spent the day helping jongho move some new furniture into his apartment. it was a difficult job, but easier with the two of you, even san and wooyoung came to help. you couldn't resist wondering where yeosang was and why he didn't come, seeing as they lived in the same building. maybe he was busy, you thought.

"hey, where's yeosang?" you asked, lifting a box and placing it on the kitchen counter.

"at home, i think he's been feeling sick or something, he hardly comes out of his room lately." wooyoung shrugged, assuming it was all good.

"if he's sick i'll bring him over some food and painkillers, maybe keep him some company." you explained, not wanting yeosang to be unwell.

"i think he'd rather be left alone, to be honest." san said, giving wooyoung a side glance that you couldn't miss.

you pulled out your phone and sent yeosang a quick message.

you: are you feeling okay? san and woo said you were sick :((

he didn't respond right away and you just figured he was asleep. but as you finished helping out at jongho's house a few hours later, he still hadn't responded. when you were sitting down to eat dinner at home, he still hadn't respond. just before you were going to turn the lights out and go to bed, he still hadn't responded.

something was up. this wasn't like yeosang, not anymore. not since the two of you had been spending so much time together. maybe it was like the boys said, and he was truly very sick, but in that case, why wouldn't they let you help?

————————

days passed and you went to work as usual, repeating the same few lines, asking people if they want a room, asking them to fill in a form, then directing them to the right room. days passed and you still hadn't heard back from yeosang, you wondered if he was still sick. days passed and you began to think maybe you should go over there to see if he's okay.

but if there was one thing you'd learnt about yeosang recently, it was that he was the quieter type, and probably wouldn't appreciate you going over there to keep him company and would rather be alone. so that evening when you got off work, you didn't go visit him like you so desperately wanted to, instead, you went straight home.

you cooked and ate dinner for yourself, before picking up your phone, only to see still no messages from yeosang.

you: hey woo you: is yeosang feeling better ?

wooyoung: yeah he is

you: well then can i come visit tomorrow ?

wooyoung: i think he's busy wooyoung: sorry

you: its okay woo you: its not your fault !!

you switched your phone off and headed for the shower, trying to wash away the stress and worry for yeosang that had built up over the last few weeks. you had really grown to like him and there was still so much about him you wanted to learn, like when he learned to skateboard or how he got the small scar on the back of his hand, that you'd noticed when ever he brushes his hair out of his eyes.

two years he'd spent, not interested in holding conversation with you and two years you'd spent, wondering what you'd did so wrong. but lately, you felt like you were doing something right around him, getting him to smile and laugh, share his own stories.

you couldn't shake the feeling that maybe he still didn't like you, and had just been trying for wooyoung's sake.

or maybe he was genuinely starting to like you, but you went and fucked it up by weirding him out and telling him about his starry eyes.

or maybe he'd just had enough of you already. decided that a few weeks was enough time spent trying to change things between the two of you.

as you finished showering and changed into comfortable clothes, you glanced at the clock which read 10:56pm. you switched on the television to watch some youtube before going to bed. as you felt yourself dozing off, a faint knock sounded at your door, so quiet you almost missed it.

when you opened the door, you were shocked to see yeosang standing there, leaning against the door frame for support. he looked up at you, his normally starry eyes were dulled with tears.

you rushed forward to him, smelling the alcohol as you got closer, "yeosang are you okay? what are you doing here? i thought you were sick. are you drunk? you never drink, come inside." you gently pulled him inside, closing the door behind you. when you turned to face him, he was staring at you, tears about to spill over the brim of his eyes.

"i hate you." he breathed out, voice barely louder than a whisper. he didn't seem angry though, he looked fragile, like a glass vase balancing on the edge of a table.

you felt the urge to cry, finally hearing those three words that confirmed your biggest concern, yeosang disliking you. "yeosang, i'm so sorry. i never meant to—"

"i hate you." he said, louder this time before running a hand through his hair hastily. he let out a frustrated groan, dragging his hands down his face. "i hate the tugging feeling in my heart whenever we're alone. i hate the way you put yourself before others. i hate the way you ramble on when you're nervous. i hate the way your eyes sparkle when you laugh. i hate the way i don't drink around you because i feel the need to protect you and make sure you're safe. i hate the way i tried to ignore you for two years because i was scared and confused about my own feelings. i hate how it only took one cup of coffee with you for my walls to come crashing down!" he paced from side to side, waving his hands around crazily.

yeosang looked scared and lost, like he'd never felt this way about anyone before, and that was the truth. he didn't know how to comprehend these feelings and it terrified him.

you watched as he spiralled, seeming as though it would never stop. you weren't sure what to do, so you just listened to that swelling feeling in your heart once again, the one that had led you to develop feelings for yeosang, and you pulled him close into your arms. he clung onto you tightly, scared to let go, like if he did then he'd lose you forever. you ran your fingers through his hair briefly, trying your best to comfort him.

"i'm sorry." you repeatedly whispered to him. you'd never meant to upset him or confuse him.

yeosang let out a quiet sob into your chest, "i hate the way i've fallen in love with you." he croaked out.

he didn't hate you. never did. never will. your heart swelled completely in your chest, feeling as though it would burst through. but it couldn't be true. he's totally drunk out of his mind.

"you're not in your right mind, yeosang, you need to get home. you're drunk and talking nonsense." you embraced him tightly one more time, and you could've sworn you felt the beat of his heart through the hug. "come on," you urged, steering him towards the door, "wooyoung and san are probably worried and waiting up for you."

with much effort, you led him down the stairs of your apartment block and walked him home. the street lamps led you in the freezing city night air. you held his wrist lightly, guiding him up the stairs to his own apartment. he didn't speak a single word the whole time, instead, sniffling and wiping at his eyes. it hurt you so much to see him this broken, but you knew he wasn't saying the truth under control of the alcohol in his veins.

you knocked at his apartment door, hoping that one of the boys were still awake. luckily, they both were and quickly they flung the door open.

"y/n? yeosang?" san questioned, his eyes wide open with disbelief.

"we've been so worried about you!" wooyoung said, pulling yeosang away from you. "hang on, are you drunk?"

san had noticed his tired, tear stained eyes, "you look like you've been crying! are you okay?"

you let out a quiet sigh, knowing you didn't need to be here anymore. you gave a small wave goodbye and headed home, utterly exhausted.

and though you were so drained, you couldn't seem to fall asleep. those words yeosang said to you kept running through your mind busily.

did he mean any of it?

————————

yeosang felt bad. he felt terrible. like he wanted to vanish into thin air and float away with the breeze. though he couldn't, no, he desperately wanted to apologise to you. but he didn't know how, he wasn't good with words or expressing his feelings, and you wished he knew that was something you loved about him.

wooyoung and san tried to ask him what happened the night he drunkenly confessed to you, but he couldn't have them know that he'd been harbouring feelings for you for all this time, they'd never let him live it down. he could imagine the continuous teasing they'd give him, nudging him whenever you were together or giving him side glances after talking to you.

yeosang gave it lots of thought. he mulled it over in his head repeatedly. it was only after hours spent hidden away in his room that he decided to go back to where it all started, a text. a text that said how much he wanted to make it up to you for having to deal with him drunk, just like the one you'd sent initially.

yeosang: hey y/n, i feel really bad about the other day, i wanna know how i can make it up to you! T^T

your heart leapt a mile seeing his name appear on your phone. you grinned upon reading his message, realising it was scarily similar to the message you had first sent him.

you: hmmm you: that sounds familiar

yeosang: >.< yeosang: seriously though, how does dinner at my place tomorrow night sound? i'll cook

you: you can cook?

yeosang: there's a lot you don't know about me x_x

you: okay, i'll be there !!

————————

yeosang wasn't lying when he said he can cook. as you traipsed up the stairs of his apartment block you could smell something delicious laced in the air.

the usual swelling in your heart had instead fell to the pit of your stomach, you were feeling slightly nervous as to what would happen when you entered yeosang's apartment. you inhaled deeply before knocking at the door of his apartment.

"hey y/n, come in." yeosang greeted, holding an arm out, signalling for you to come inside.

"you must've been working hard cooking! it smells delicious." you said, feeling a sense of comfort just from the smell of food.

"yeah, lucky i sent wooyoung and san over to jongho's place, otherwise i doubt there would be any pasta to serve." he joked. "you can take a seat, i've just gotta serve up."

you sat down in front of a neatly laid table, it had somewhat surprised you how much effort yeosang had put into this dinner tonight. he placed a steamy hot plate of pasta in front of you and one where he would sit.

"so." he began.

"so." you copied, teasingly.

"i guess, i really just wanted to say i'm sorry for how i behaved the other night when i was drunk. you shouldn't of had to deal with that." he frowned, poking at his dinner.

you furrowed your brows, "it's seriously fine yeosang." you took a bite of pasta, "i was just surprised to see you drunk, since you never drink."

he chuckled, bringing a hand up to cover his mouth, "actually, i do. i just never drink when you're there."

"really? why?" you questioned, eating another mouthful of pasta.

"because..." he paused. "no, it sounds dumb out loud."

"it's okay, you don't have to explain yourself." you smiled warmly, "but that does remind me to ask... do you remember anything you said to me while you were drunk?" you leant forward, genuinely curious.

he sighed, "i remember.. enough."

"you don't really hate me, right?" you asked, playing with the food on your plate.

"of course not! that's why i invited you here tonight. to show you that i don't, and to make it up to you." he had to refrain from reaching across to hold your hand, just to show how much he cared that little bit more.

you nodded, "well, thats good. i was kinda worried that we'd gone back to square one."

comfort settled within you. it was relieving to know you weren't hated by the one person whose love you wanted most. a tiny thought crept into your mind, maybe, just maybe, now would be the right time to tell him about your blossoming feelings for him. or would that confuse him more? now you were the one feeling conflicted.

"are you finished eating?" he asked, reaching for your empty plate.

"yes, thank you! it was delicious. you're a good cook, y'know."

"ah, thanks y/n." he turned away to hide the blush appearing on his cheeks.

"would you like me to do the dishes? since you cooked." you offered, standing up. but he quickly opposed.

"don't be ridiculous." he shooed you back to your seat. "can i get you a coffee? water? wine?"

"a coffee sounds good, i think you and i have had too many drunken situations lately." you laughed.

yeosang pulled out two mugs and put the kettle on. he felt your eyes carefully watching him. once again, he hated the feeling that was pulling at his heart. the way you could say nothing, yet he felt everything.

"can i tell you something?" you asked, voice now quieter and more hesitant.

"sure, what is it?" he said, placing a warm cup of coffee in front of you.

you took a sip, humming in delight. it was exactly the way you liked it. when the two of you went out for coffee, he had unintentionally remembered just the way you like it.

"well," you began cautiously, in case you brought this situation into flames again. "i just... i always wondered why you didn't like me. if i was doing something wrong, if i said something once that really upset you. and then after we started spending time together, i finally felt like i was doing the right thing." you groaned, frustrated with yourself for not getting to the point quicker. "what i'm trying to say is that i have feelings for you. it's okay if you don't feel the same way. i wouldn't expect you to, i just thought you should know—"

yeosang basically choked on his coffee, eyes widening in shock. "it's okay, y/n! in case you hadn't noticed, i'm crazy about you."

you had continued to ramble nervously before hearing what he said.

"wait. you are?"

"basically ever since you said that thing about stars in my eyes, yes."

you cringed, remembering how you had said that so absent minded. "yeah, sorry about that."

"it's okay, it was cute. and what did i say about apologising?"

you shook your head and smiled, "i know."

————————

ever since the two of you confessed to each other, you had been almost inseparable, except of course when you had work. but he dropped you home most nights, even though you insisted it was okay and that you could walk. he came over every weekend just to spend time with you, even if the two of you just sat and talked, enjoying each other's company. you'd been dating for a few weeks now, but kept it undercover, not wanting to suffer the incessant questioning that would come if you told your friends.

it didn't go unnoticed either, wooyoung and san were constantly nagging yeosang about why the two of you spent so much time together, and each time he just shrugged it off.

christmas was just around the corner, so you were spending the evening at seonghwa's and hongjoong's house, who of course, were throwing an unnecessarily large house party to celebrate.

you were sat between a very drunk yunho and mingi, who were trying to talk to an also very drunk jongho. you eyed your boyfriend from across the room, as if asking for a way out and he just laughed at the situation you were stuck in.

after at least ten minutes more of having your ear talked off, yeosang came to pull you away to the dance floor.

"care to dance?" he asked, extending his hand to you.

you immediately jumped up, latching onto his hand, "i would love to!"

he chuckled, pulling you close to his side and leading you to the makeshift dance floor that seonghwa and hongjoong created.

the two of you laughed at the boys' reaction. they were completely shocked to see the two of you so close together and yeosang being friendly.

he twirled you around a few times with the music, before settling his arms around your waist. he brought you near to him as you placed your arms behind his neck. you swayed back and forth, engulfed in your own little bubble of comfort in each other's arms, completely out of time with the loud thumping music that blared around you.

you felt content, and yeosang no longer felt confused. he found his home in your arms and his happiness.

you reached up to place your lips on his, capturing the moment surrounding you. yeosang melted into the kiss, discovering that your lips were soft and sweet against his, just as he had imagined, which caused his knees to feel weak and his heart to skip more than just one beat. he never wanted to let you go, he wanted to compensate for every second that he didn't spend with you since the two of you met.

he leaned forward and whispered softly, just so you could hear above all the music and singing, "lets stay like this forever."

#ateez #ateez yeosang #ateez scenarios #ateez fluff #ateez angst #yeosang fluff #yeosang angst #kang yeosang #yeosang scenarios #yeosang imagines #ateez seonghwa #ateez hongjoong #ateez mingi #ateez jongho #ateez wooyoung #ateez x reader #yeosang x reader #ateez fanfiction #ateez fanfic #ateez san #ateez yunho #ateez seongjoong #ateez yungi

[princealberich]

Kaeya’s Name Meaning

Khaenri’ahn names are shown to have actual importance to the plot, as seen here:

So I wanted to delve a little more into what “Kaeya” means. The closest we have is a feminine name in Hindi I believe, meaning “Monsoon Flower”- But that doesn’t line up with the apparently Germanic origins of the other names. Additionally, “Kaeya” isn’t a recognised name, which makes it even MORE difficult! However, it’s possible to dissect the name and try to gleam a possible meaning from that, using Germanic name elements.

For reference, here’s his original translation, which translates to English as just “Kea”.

PLEASE NOTE: This is no way definite. There’s about five levels of translation here- The natural Germanic, to Chinese, to English, back to Germanic, then back to English again. The Chinese names are typically literal translations of the English/Germanic names, so I’m taking some pretty large liberties here.

OPTION ONE:

since I can’t find anything on the ending of -a, I’ll work under the assumption that it’s a simple name addition in order to make it... A name. Plus, the only ‘ka’ element I could find was one including ‘ á ‘.

To combine these would come out with “To harass ? island”, or thereabouts. It’s impossible to determine the direct meaning, but it’s interesting, given Kaeya’s secret mission to save the nation of Khaenri’ah, which was destroyed by Celestia... A floating island.

OPTION TWO:

Referring to ‘ey’, the site says this:

Taking this into account, and following this new line, we get this-

Which could, again, be relevent, given that Khaenri’ahs art of Khemia is based on the creation of life, Dainsleif’s connection to eternal life, and the fact that the Abyss has some weird time stuff going on. It’s a bit weird with the initial ‘ka’ translation, though.

A possible explanation is that his name around this is decorative, for example: K’ai(a).

OPTION THREE:

Unfortunately, searching up “norse kea” just gets results for ikea. this is not what i want. all i can find under the term ‘kea’ is about a bird in new zealand. I’m almost certain it’s just weird translation. follow me for more stuff like this im gonna make a post detailing all the evidence that kaeya is royalty soon

its 4am im very tired

#genshin impact #genshin #kaeya #kaeya alberich #kaeya ragnvindr #or maybe they just threw some letters together and were like 'nice'

[lehouxnap2]

Babe, its 4am time to write ideas for Aus i'll never be able to draw.

Yess honey

A story idea where Jean is at a party and things dont go well.

I really dont know what im doing

This is like.. an idea storyboard? Lol

Im the Queen of typos. Please take in mind. This is not a fic .

Jean knows about the party Reiner is throwing on his house. He doesn't want to go, because Eren is gonna be there, and of course, Mikasa is going to be there aswell. He still has the highschool crush on her. The last he wants is to see Mikasa being after Eren's edgy ass.

He's laying on his bed from the room he shares with Marco. His best friend that never let him down. Marco, contrary to Jean, is excited for the party. He insist to Jean that he should go. Have fun, get the stress from college out of his system. Jean tells him "you know why i dont want to go" and Marco knows. He sits in the bed besides him and convinces him with a sweet talk that maybe things can go different this time. Maybe Mikasa will notice him. Jean, not 100% sure, accepts.

They have to get ready because in a few minutes Connie will drive them to the location.

When Jean and Marco are ready and go downstairs from their appartment, Connie is waiting for them in a beautiful burgundy cadillac along with Sasha. He knows is not his. Connie explains is his mother's car. Jean asks them who is gonna be the designed driver for tonight, connie assures "me dude, dont worry about it"

When they arrive at the place, they know its already late and the party its in the half state of continuing. Afterall its already 3am. Reiner opens the door with a beer in his hand, he looks slightly drunk. "Hey guys, kind of late, but c'mon in" , its been 2 years since they haven't seen eachother, Reiner looks more tired than usual and maybe more slim than he was. Sasha and Connie are ready to party and go inside immidiately, Jean is still anxious. "Marco, promise me you'll stay with me the whole night". His friend looks at him with a big smile and hugs him with his arm in Jean's shoulder "Of course i will, i promise"

40 minutes has passed, and Jean is sitting alone in the couch besides a couple making out, with a beer in his hand. He sighs.

The couple besides him are being more and more intense occupying more place from the couch. He recognize they are Franz and Hannah. Jean is getting uncomfortable, he stands up and goes to the kitchen to get more beer.

He finds Ymir sitting on the kitchen table, who looks more tired than she should, sort of a depressing look on her. She's alone, which is weird, Historia is always with her. "Hey" no answer, she just keeps drinking her beer, "Where's Hisu?" Jean asks while he takes a new bottle.

"None of your business horseface"

"Wow, hey, Don't call me like that, no one did that since highschool"

"Whatever horseface"

Jean won't deal with her tonight, he leaves sending a fuck you look towards her. Its when he enters the dining room where Floch Forster stands right in front of him not letting him pass. "I heard you had a crush on me" Jean is confused, "Im sorry but I only date men 1 inch taller than me. You are 4 inches taller, i hope you get the message sweetie" Jean doesn't know if he wants to know more about this or let it be. He choses the later and leaves Floch behind with no words towards him.

He takes a look around while sipping his beer. Sasha is chatting with a blonde guy, Connie has no t-shirt and with a lamp protector on his head, singing in the karaoke. So much for being the designated driver.

He decides to go at the basement. Maybe Marco is down there. And its at this moment when he sees Eren chatting loudly at a group of people with a confident look, Mikasa is at his side, listening with her monotone but beautiful face. Jean can't help but admire her beauty, how come Eren doesn't pay her that much attention? Speaking of Eren. "...And so I told Levi, just shut the fuck up", someone asks him "and what did he do?" "He ran away crying" the group laughs, Eren looks at Mikasa with a pride in his face revealing his right eye with a bruise in it. Mikasa is worried and asks him if he needs more ice, Eren looks annoyed and turns his head down, "just stop it."

You-

Jean wants to intervene but a hand stops him on his chest, its Armin. "Jean! Hey! Its been a while" happy blonde man gives him a quick hug. "Huh, where's your shadow? i don't see Marco" says Armin looking around

"He's not my shadow, and I dont know, i wonder the same thing" apparently talking with Armin it got Eren and Mikasa's attention.

"Jean! Its been a while" Eren looks at him with a challeging but happy look. "You let your hair grow"

"Yeah, you too" Jean wants to smile and pretend he's having a good time, but he's not. He's tired and its only been an hour and a half since he got here.

Mikasa is looking at him, she seems.. more concentrated on him than usual. Jean is feeling flustered.

"Hey Jean!" Eren interrupts his thoughts, "what do you say if we play a pool game, like the old times" He throws at him a cue stick. Which Jean catches fast.

"Okay..? Do I have a choice?"

"Nope" Eren feels confident tonight it seems. "Are you really going to back down an offer to beat me down on a game? This could prove if you actually learned how to play" He chuckles, his voice got deeper.

Jean knows Eren is just taunting him, to mess with him and make this night more interesting, Jean knows is better to act cool and deny the offer, say he's tired and go home. But Jean also knows this is indeed his chance to look good, beat Eren and remember him this night forever.

"Alright, its on" Somehow he feels better now, it must be the adrenaline, or maybe, deep inside of him, he misses challeging Eren.

They play, it gets intense, they are both concentrated, as if this was the pool championships. They are even. Jean needs to score 2 more balls and he's done. Eren has 1. And just like that, Eren gets an advantage, hits the last 8 ball to the hole, and he wins. Just one fucking ball, he was so close.

Eren decides not to say anything. And just let the people around them cheer for him. Armin wants to pat his back, but Jean really can't take it anymore.

Quickly goes upstairs, and finds a door. Its the closet, he sits on the floor and puts his hands on his ears. He's disappointed at Marco for not being by his side right now, at Connie for getting drunk and not driving him home, at Reiner for being the worst host, at Ymir for treating him bad and at Eren for being a jackass again. Why is everyone so shitty tonight? He would take the car and leave but he's slightly drunk too.

He wants to lay back on the clothes but he hits something "aw!"

That's a female voice.

"Who's there?" Jean wonders a little bit shocked.

A blonde girl comes out of the bunch of clothes and sits beside him. Its Annie.

"Hey" she says

"Hey"

They look at eachother understanding why they are here. But an awkward silence comes between them.

Now they are looking at a really interesting dot in front of them. Jean feels more calm now. "So fun party huh" he wants to break the ice.

Annie smiles, "hm yeah" another awkward silence. "But what do I know?" She continues "All I know is that Armin is been chasing me trying to impress me with magic tricks with his cards, and I heard Reiner tell Bertholdt something about taking his guitar and play a song to impress me." She stops and looks down, but she doesn't look bored "they think i dont realize" its like she mutters that for herself.

Jean listens carefully, and thinks about telling her his story of unlucky events of tonight. But maybe is best to forget about that, now that he feels more calm. After a little while, Annie looks at him "you see this is like my space right now, and I doubt you'll like to spend the rest of the night in the closet with a quiet girl who is ready to play another round of criminal case"

Annie gives him a look that is more pleading than anything. Jean understands. She wants to be alone.

"Okay" He smiles at her "I'll leave, but not before telling you that" He stands "you are really good to hang out with" He stares at her with a grateful smile for being good company and not making him any questions. Annie gets it. And gives half a smile too.

Jean leaves the closet and decides he has to go home. Fuck it, he'll walk. He turns and meets Bertholdt right in front of him. Shit, that scared him. "Wow man, i didn't see you there"

Bertholdt has a guitar hanging from his shoulders "Oh hey Jean, whats up" he gives him a lazy pat on his back, his mind seems to be somewhere else. "Have you seen Reiner? He was supposed to help me with something"

"No, I'm sorry, I haven't"

"Ah.. okay" Bert looks unsure. "What about Annie, did you...?"

"No no, i really haven't seen her either" Jean feels a little bad for lying, but he doesn't want to get involved in more situations tonight. Bertholdt though really looks troubled now. And a little let down. He sighs

"Well, whatever, thanks though" The tall man has a given up face and turns to leave. Finally. Time to get the hell out of here.

Jean makes it to the front of the yard, remembers his pack of cigarettes, takes one and lights it on. The cold freeze of the 5am morning and the sounds of the wind hitting the trees are definitely saving him from a headache. He wishes Hitch didn't leave so early, it was fun talking to her when he got here.

"Can you lend me your light? Please?" A calm voice takes his attention.

Jean sees a girl resting on a tree, she has black long hair, and a pale skin. She's also kind of petite.

"Yeah take it" He lends his lighter and she quickly lights her own cigarette. She has pretty hands.

"I'm Pieck" she looks at him "What's your name"

"Jean"

It'll continue... i guess

#this is like the part 1 of an idea i have #that im probably never gonna do but anyways #like i said. its a storyboard rather than a fic. is not intended to be a fic #jeankasa #jeanpiku #eremika #aruani #beruani #eren jaeger #Mikasa ackerman #armin arlert #jean kirstein #marco bodt #sasha braus #connie springer #reiner braun #pieck finger #floch forster #ymir #yumihisu #bertholdt hoover #historia reiss #annie leonhardt #104th training corps #hitch dreyse #jeannie

[pinkchanelbag]

nia- i just pulled a reversed temperance card... i guess the universe knows connie and i have been up at 4 am arguing...

REVERSED TEMPERANCE — CONNIE + 4AM.

the wind is loud tonight. 

you notice only because everything else is so quiet. paradis has been bustling with its new renovations for so long that construction became a night and day sound that faded into the background. but tonight there is rest, because by daybreak there will be chaos. 

but the wind is a whisper compared to your voice.

“CONNIE,” and you’re after him in an instant. the way he almost ignores you’re there like he never, never, has before strikes panic into you, because it means he really won’t listen to you. he’s really going to do this.

“you’re gonna wake the squads,” is all he says. his voice is scarily unaffected, and it’s what finally has your blood bubbling. 

“i don’t care.” he’s still just ahead of you on the grass. his path is towards the supply stash shed, his slightly too-worn ODM buckles in his hand as he walks. the compound is fast asleep, or at least trying to be. as asleep as can be less than twenty-four hours before a declaration of war. “listen to me. listen to me.” your pleas hit the back of his head. you look absolutely ridiculous, hollering like a—like a mother, in your sleep clothes in the pitch black. it has you stopping in your pursuit. you force stability back into your voice before uttering another word. 

“you don’t have to do what i want just because i want it. you don’t have to care about what i have to say more than what you think, but it’s me, connie. you still have t...you’re supposed to care.”

your tone isn’t entitled. it’s practically babyish, insecure. but your voice is steady and your words are sincere and that is what finally stops him. his back is still turned, but you see the way his free hand comes up to rub his hand over his face. he sighs. he’s tired. it’s obvious. everyone is tired. tired and scared, but it’s your fear that seems to show more than his. 

“i have to go.” there’s misery in his voice. you decipher it in an instant because you know him. you know everything he needs to say before he says it but you make him say it anyway.

not miserable because he’s going—he’d never dare not to. misery because he has to do this with you and to you. misery because anyone has to go in the first place because of this daft plan only the jaegars could’ve possibly come up with. misery because the world is how it is, because he lives at the centre of the worst of it and never even knew just how bad it was until recently. misery that the concept of hope was obliterated after the crossing of the sea. misery he ever had to find out what a sea is. 

“you don’t.” a weak argument. what else can you do? maybe if you were a soldier you’d understand why he’d go, and you’d be okay with it and you’d go with him. you’d protect him. you would, if you could, but you didn’t sign up for military service all those years ago. on nights like this, it feels like the biggest mistake of your life. 

you realize painfully that you wouldn’t be able to go even if you were in the corps.

knowing your words fell on deaf ears, and with good reason. you try something else. “i don’t want to lose you.” 

his figure is stiff. all you can see are the way his shoulders rise and fall. it’s only when he turns around that you notice how hard his breaths are, and then you’re looking into eyes that have gone a little bit mad with anguish. 

“i don’t want you to lose me.” it’s almost like a laugh. part of you knows the way you’re making this so much harder for him. the burden of your desperation will weigh heavy on him because despite what you said, you know he cares and that care means how you feel and what you say will go with him anywhere. you know you’re making this more painful than it has to be, but that seems like collateral damage. because if there’s even a sliver of a chance that something you can say can keep him from going, can save his life, then you have to do this. you fingers grip the front of your—his—shirt as you re-state to yourself that it’s not selfish, not anymore. because this isn’t just for your sake. 

“you know i’d never let sasha and jean—and armin and mikasa and everyone—go and stay behind. you know i can’t.” there’s something pleading in his own voice now. he’s begging you to understand. begging you to stop this and you desperately want to but you can’t. but you don’t have anything left to try. 

no, that’s not quite right. 

you still have the truth. 

but it may be the cruelest thing of all. 

“connie...” you bring the heel of one palm to your eyes as your face crumples. it’s beyond cruel and yet you can’t keep it in any longer if you tried. silent sobs shake your shoulders for a few moments while connie takes a few steps closer, but not close enough that he really wouldn’t be able to leave when the time came. “connie,” and your voice is so torn apart that he knows there’s something more. it’s not like you to pull him from his duties, ask him to deny his bravery and the things that make him who he is. there’s something mor—

“i went to the doctor.” your words are broken and high pitched. the hand holding the front of your shirt tightens before opening flat and scrunching the fabric to your body. to your stomach. connie’s worried eyes catch the motion. his face is glued to your hand as his ears wait for you to say more, but he knows by the wrecked sob you let out that you’re done talking. and you’ve said enough. 

“no,” he breathes. the ODM buckles fall from his limp fingers. “no, no, no.” his face breaks out into pure pain. he slowly closes the meter wide gap between the two of you. his tears and yours hit the grass beneath your feet. you can sense his gaze at you, but he’s not looking at you, not focused on anything as his vision of the hand on your stomach blurs. you cry like people who are tired of rediscovering over and over again the limits of their own threshold for pain. 

at some point, your forehead hits his chest, and then his arms grasp yours for balance, but there is none for you to offer him, and soon, you’re both crouched into the grass in each others’ arms. you stay that way for some time. for awhile, it’s just the two of you and your hurt and the wind. 

when the tears are gone and in their place is morbid acceptance, you finally speak into his neck in a small, soldier’s voice. 

“stay alive.”

his grip on your sleeve tightens. 

“you have to stay alive.” 

he doesn’t reply, but he doesn’t need to. you know he hears you.

the two of you stay there consoling one another till daybreak, grieving over all the things you’ve lost and still stand to lose. 

note: WOOOOOWWOWOWOW IM SO SORRY LMAO

NIA’S 999 EVENT (CLOSED). 

#y’all better read this i literally wrote it on the verge of fainting from this fuckin migraine #nias999 #nia.connie #nia.txt #connie angst #connie x reader #connie springer #connie springer x reader #connie springer headcanon #connie headcanon #connie snk #connie springer imagine

[firstknightss]

GWAINCELOT ESSAY THREE???

[commentary voice] ah yes and this gwaincelot essay.... which turned into a fic was inspired by @nextstopparis and @little-ligi

GWAINE TEACHING LANCELOT HOW TO READ. and thats how they actually CONFESS.

imagine gwaine seeing lancelot trip up reading leon’s plan for the day, seeing him trying to understand it. and gwaines, hes a little in love. Hes. Hes a little hit with feelings for this Noble (tm) knight. So OF COURSE he CANT EMOTION and he tries to show his affection for lancelot without yknow being in ‘loVE’

he comes over with his swishy hair and bantery tone like “oooOhHh LANCELOT! Lancey! Hey! Hello! Can’t read leon’s goddamn awful handwriting huh?”

And Lancelots embarrassed and flushes red and gwaine thinks hes Fucked Up (and he really doesn’t want to fuck this up, this is the first time he’s actually felt emotions this deep for someone) and tries to fix it panickedly, like the Anxiety Clown He Is.

He keeps on saying sorry and apologising, and Lancelot, the EVER CALM KNIGHT GUY, goes “it’s fine, it’s okay. It’s nothing to do with you...” and then he hesitates. He HESITATES. “....it’s just that...” and then he BITES HIS LIP and gwaine thinks he might just faint there and then, “...i cant read.”

and now it hits him, gwaine, gwaine, who thought literacy was something trash and something he didn’t really need, realises how important it is. and so, yknow because hes kind of wrapped in those Emotions (tm), he pulls lancelot’s sleeve after practice, when they’re alone in the changing room. (and if lancelot wasn’t so tired and miserable, he would have easily seen gwaine BLUSH)

And he, shyly asks if lancelot wouldnt mind being tutored by him.

Now Lancelot is OVERJOYED, and he’s borderline CRYING because lancelot, poor old village boy lancelot who’d been kicked out of the knights of camelot, and had to become a MERCENARY and fight for masters who didn’t care for him, has NEVER HAD someone literally CARE about him so much. (Apart from Merlin. He loves merlin <3)

so now imagine lancelot waking up an hour early the next morning, and showing up into gwaine’s room. He knows gwaine literally doesnt sleep with a lock, so he just barges in, and starts shaking gwaine.

Now GWAINE sleeps like a Log (had so much shit going on irl, time to sleep it away) and when he opens his bleary eyes, seeing lancelot in one of his stupid v neck shirts over him, hes like “....h...helo??”

and lancelot’s all like. “We- werent YOU gonna give me reading lessons.” And gwaine nods, yawning (and in that moment lancelot thinks gwaine looks unimaginably cute, so cute that he wants to literally ruffle gwaine’s hair and run his hands through how silky and brown it is.)

THEN gwaine pulls on the dont care-ish mask, and makes his arms into a pillow under his head, as he leans against the wall behind his bed, in some kind of somewhat???flirty??? manner??? [i dont...i dont know what hes trying to do. On the other hand! Not does Lancelot :) ]

Lancelot, does not realise this is gwaine’s poor attempt at flirting - since he’s seen gwaine ACTUALLY flirting and this is like. Nothing. And its also poorly executed. Which is NOTHING like gwaine.

So he pulls gwaine’s arm, and half hauls him out of bed.

As gwaine’s head crashes into lancelot’s stomach, he can smell lancelot’s clothes. They smell of flowers, and cotton and everything so natural and gwaine, who literally smells of wine, and wood and Tavern. (And aftershave, or the 500AD equivalent)

[see here, see im trying to bring themes of dionysis okay. OkayyyyyyyyY. yours truly likes looking at greek mythology. And both these two complete dionysis]

Gwaine, in his sleepy stupor, nestles his head on Lancelot’s hip, who gives a sigh and stands there. One hand clutching gwaine’s, leaving the other free.....

....to rake through his soft, flowy brown hair. And twirl his fingers through its waves, and Gwaine cuddles in further.

And since Lancelot left the door open, Leon (the other bitch who wakes up at 4am to do idk nothing) sees them two...like that, illuminated by the SUNLIGHT behind them, and smiles a little.

And then he trips over the stairs, the moment is lost.

Gwaine and Lancelot pull away at the same time, and gwaine’s face turns back to “ha ha im a Jerk (tm)” and if he wasnt too busy trying to hide how flustered he was, he’d see Lancelot looking at him the way he used to look at GWEN.

They both blink and look at each other, understandingly, neither of them to speak of this again.

And then Gwaine drags himself out of bed, and Lancelot raises his eyebrows as he watches him (totally not checking him out) haul out a book from his cupboard.

Gwaine’s too sleepy for this, he keeps yawning and rubbing his eyes (looking like a cat, Lancelot notes) and Lancelot takes a deep breath, his eyes understanding.

“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

“Lancelot, I love..” he bites his tongue, cursing his half asleep mind “..doing this, and love hanging out with you...I just cant stay up this early.”

Reading lessons, from now on, are at 1:30am-whenever Gwaine and Lancelot stop rambling about Odysseus and Circe and Telemachus

[i dont know any other ancient books apart from like. Ancient greek/Roman ones. So i guess. Its not historically accurate,,,,BUUIT this is a fanfic for a pair who had like no scenes together SO i think i can take some ✨creative liberties✨]

Lancelot has heard of the journey of Aneas from travelling bards, singing songs in his native old english. Gwaine’s eyes are quick at latin, and he learnt the flaws of Romulus and Remus in his pure latin. Gwaine’s a good teacher, and lancelot is a quick study, and it’s not long before they’re arguing over which Goddess caused the most harm in the Illiad.

Gwaine’s never met someone who he could reveal that he loved reading to, he loved doing.

Lancelot’s never met someone who he could tell he couldn’t read, and ask if they could teach him, love learning.

They make it work.

The other knights notice, of course they notice. Percival notices how Lancelot stumbles into the Gwaine’s room at night, bright eyed. Elyan notices Lancelot and Gwaine’s voices from Gwaine’s room opposite him; sometimes slow, Gwaine speaking slowly and Lancelot following; sometimes heated and passionate.

(They’re arguing. They’re arguing about how to pronounce Minerva)

Merlin finds the two, in the early hours of the morning - when the birds are figuring what song they sing today - on Gwaine’s bed.

Gwaine leaned against the bedframe, his trousered legs splayed over the sheets. Loosely braided, long brown hair fell over his closed eyelids, his mouth in a small smile.

And Merlin follows his arm draped over Lancelot, snuggled beside him, his head on his broad shoulder, every breath of wind pushing against curly black hair, making it almost /bounce/. His eyes are covered by the other man’s hair, and he looks...content. More content than Merlin has ever seen him.

He slips out as quietly as he came in, and smirks, hes gotta tell arthur they finally got their shit together oh GOD

Its no surprise to anyone but them, when Arthur pulls Lancelot out of training, and into his chambers.

“I’m glad you’ve found someone Lancelot.” He starts, his face geniune, his voice giving away hints of relief. (He thought he was never going to see his knight smile again after all the ordeals that had happened to him)

“Oh...” Lancelot’s heart sinks, “...how did you find out, Sire?”

Arthur blinks, taking in the change of mood in Lancelot, maybe it wasn’t anything important, maybe they were trying to keep it casual, hell they didnt want the king knowing.

“I- uh, I just noticed...” Goddamnit Merlin, and Goddamn his need to tell him everything he saw. (Merlin had advised him not to do this, as they sat on his bed after a long night. This was really his fault.)

Lancelot pales, and he places his hands down on the table beside him, palms slapping stone as he did so.

“Well, I guess I should tell you the whole truth then,” his voice is quiet, and Arthur steps closer, “Sire I am not of Noble birth, and was born in a village - as you know.”

Arthur nods, his arms crossed, but his Kingly Bravado fell away at the sight of his knight, and one of his closest friends, being this vulnerable.

“Yes I know, but what does this ha-“

“And we children in the village we-“ he falters, “-we were never taught to read.”

“Yes, no I understand, I-“ he pauses, Lancelot’s words hitting him a bit too late, this was about literacy?

This, this whole conversation was about literacy?

Not being gay?

Merlin was going to have a field day

“Sire?”

“I understand Lancelot, and is this why you feel a little out of place with the other knights?” He carries it on, with a smile, he has a few questions to ask merlin.

“Yes, and that’s why I asked Gwaine to tutor me from time to time, although, the sessions carry through late into the night, which may have been affecting my performance at practice. I’ll have you know that this is a temporary th-“

“It’s fine Lancelot,” Arthur places a hand on his shoulder, “You are still exceptional at practice,”

“Thank you Sire,” Lancelot twinkles.

✨

“Theyre, theyre not together?” Merlin cant stop laughing, tears streaming down his face, “theyre not TOGETHER?? oh my God arthur what did you DO”

They sit together on Arthur’s bed, drinking wine from stemless cups together, with Arthur recounting the events of the day; red faced.

“I mean, it was your idea Merlin.”

“I just saw them, and I assumed...I didnt...I didnt think youd ASK them.”

“What do you think I’d do then?? Let them be on their merry way.”

“Yes!”

✨

“Do you like me?” Gwaine asks, unexpectedly, one night, the moon vibrant against the loud sea.

“You’re...tolerable...” Lancelot says, a smile tugging at his lips, as the silver moonlight falls against his hair, a halo around him.

✨

The knights give them the look every morning, as the two of them stumbled out of the same room, more frequently than ever.

Sometimes Lancelot would throw on Gwaine’s shirt, when he’d crumpled his own beyond repair. Sometimes Gwaine would put some of Lancelot’s hair oil on, when his hair was frizzy.

They gave each other knowing looks when Gwaine and Lancelot started whispering and giggling like a bunch of schoolgirls.

✨

And then Stupid gwaine had to go get fucking stabbed, and their delicate dance was like trying to waltz through a minefield.

Lancelot clutches onto Gwaine’s arm as Merlin feels his forehead with shaking hands.

“He’s burning up.”

“Infection...?” Lancelot sounds broken, and nods, fumbling with his pack to find some bandages.

It was just a simple quest; a save the day, get the girl, do various harmless shenanigans type of quest.

He’d half expected Gwaine to get the girl, and he cant help but give out a half choked laugh. Gwaine had no idea what hit him when she turned out to be the evil one all along.

He tries to forget that Gwaine showed no interest in her, he tries to forget that Gwaine’s been less frequent at the Tavern, he tries to forget that he hasn’t seen Gwaine with anyone since months now.

Gwaine, his beautiful Gwaine was lying on his lap, hot red blood rushing from his side, staining his polished chainmail with dark, sticky blood.

He’s been out for nearly an hour now, and Lancelot remembers carrying him, through the entire forest, forgetting his sword and his helmet and just grabbing Gwaine and getting the shit out of there.

Gwaine’s lack of self preservation was really rubbing off on Lancelot nowadays.

Merlin watches as Lancelot holds back tears, his own eyes stinging. Gwaine can’t die like this, he can’t die like this....

“hælan beorn adl”

Merlin’s eyes flashed gold, and Lancelot could feel warmth coming back into the fingers he was grabbing.

He was coming back.

And then the weight of everything hits him.

He was in Fucking Love.

✨

“Hey.” Gwaine’s voice is rough from disuse, but Lancelot nearly sobs when he hears the voice.

“Don’t fucking do that to me again, amor meus.” He puts his head down on Gwaine’s chest; finding the hammering of his heart calming.

He shimmies onto Merlin’s bed, which Gwaine had been lying in for the past few days.

“Did you mean, ami meus?” Gwaine sounds tired, too tired to be awake.

“Huh? Did i say something else?” Lancelot decides to play dumb, a sparkle in his eyes,

“I thought I heard amor meus,” Gwaine pushes his nose into Lancelot’s hair, taking in the wonderful smell of coconut.

“Well then, at least your hearing’s okay, amor meus.”

Gwaine gulped, and was sure Lancelot could hear his loud swallow.

“Lancelot, I hope this isnt a big joke with me teachin you latin and all,” Gwaine’s voice is a little wobbly from the slee deprivation and the magic and the pain numbers, “because I’ll have you know that I really love you, and I cant go on like this any longer,”

“Its okay Gwaine, I learnt latin from the man I love, of course it’s not a joke.”

“The man you love? Who’s tha-“

Realisation hits him like a brick.

Oh.

Oh.

“Me?” His voice cracks, and Lancelot looks up, a smirk on his face.

“Of course dumbass.”

“Like I’m meant to know that,” Gwaine tries to keep his dont care-ish aura, but they both know he’s too exhausted to keep that up.

“mmm?”

Gwaine kisses him on the nose, and he wraps himself around him.

And thats how Merlin finds them later that day, eyes blinking as he stood there.

✨

“I’m glad you’ve found someone, Lancelot.” Arthur coughs.

“Is that what that whole talk was about???”

“Answer the question.” His words sound harsh, but he’s barely hiding a smile.

“I’m glad too, I’m Glad I found Gwaine too.” Lancelot blushes, turning to gwaine.

“Why are you asking anyway, Princess?”

“Oh just, making sure this time.”

#shit this turned into a fic #im sorry #uhh #gwainecelot #gwaine #lancelot #gwaine x Lancelot #gwaine/lancelot #i should post this onto ao3 #but like. fix it up first #fun times #first tumblr fic yall #im growing!!! #IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE AN ESSAY WHAT IS THIS #gwaincelot #im SO sorry

[sukirichi]

tag games!

@caizen, thank you so much for the tag bb, and I’m so glad you’re simping for jin too HAHAHAHAHA he is sooo perfect fufu!

her questions: not a question but, describe what your ideal life would be with your selfship/s and what your actual life would be with your selfship/s. optional: why is that your ideal/actual life with them? kind of like an expectation vs reality.

hmm my ideal life with my self ships *looks warily at naoya* and what my actual life would be with my self ships. alright, let’s do this!

NAOYA ZENIN

-          straight up, I ship myself with him. Yes, I know he’s awful, yes I know he’s sexist, but I’m 100% confident I can make him fall for me with just my personality alone. I mean, I’m pretty too but LMAO. Honestly, my ideal life with Naoya is not really a domestic one. I don’t know how to cook very well, I don’t deal well with children either, I don’t know how to do my laundry so…I can’t imagine myself being a housewife for him. I am capable of other things too, and my ideal life with Naoya is the two of us just being successful and contented in both our careers. This is going to sound weird, but I can always picture myself coming home late from work, taking my coat off and replacing my scrubs (if I don’t have my own clinic) with pajamas, and Naoya comes home a few minutes later, looking FINE and dashing in his suit. We’re both tired but satisfied, doing skincare side by side and we have our own sinks just because we like our space, brush our teeth together and then cuddle to bed. Complain when the alarm rings at 4am but we’ll get up anyway and it’s just a very nice routine of stability <3

-          My ACTUAL life with him though…if we’re going canon-wise, I think Naoya won’t be openly affectionate. I’ve got a feeling he won’t let me work too and just serve him instead. Now don’t hate me for this, I’m indulging myself in my fantasy, but I think I’ll be fine learning how to make him tea and basically be, as my header says, his trophy wife. We’re not the most romantic, we’re definitely not spoiling each other, but I think we’d be a great power couple

-          why is that my ideal/actual life with them? kind of like an expectation vs reality. That’s my ideal life with him because if Naoya wasn’t sexist, I feel like he’d be supportive with my career and studies too. I’m okay that he’s not overly affectionate, and I feel like Naoya isn’t big on overly romantic stuff either, so I’m really satisfied with just mundane things. And that’s my actual life with him because BRUH man is too busy trying to be head of the clan to even pay that much attention to me but like…I don’t mind LMFAO

 RYOUMEN SUKUNA

-          hear me out, wait!!! my ideal life with sukuna is I want to be a grand Queen beside him. Sukuna…I have a feeling he’s quite gentle and affectionate to his lover, so I know we won’t be toxic like Harley Quinn and Joker (that’s more Naoya’s scene LOL) but yes, I want us to just be happy somewhere in a temple. Maybe he does the hunting and I do the cooking, insert gratuitous forest sex with the moonlight shining on us and sometimes sitting on his lap because he’s the King of Curses and his lap is my throne <3 Yeah, I want Sukuna to be my daddy. I don’t have a daddy kink, but for Sukuna I will

-          the actual life with Sukuna…honestly I don’t think he’ll even let me get near him much. we’ll have a forbidden relationship and he’ll try to keep pushing me away because he doesn’t want to hurt me but I’m gonna be stupid and run to him anyway, and he just sighs and goes “fine…” and you know, I’m practically untouchable since I’m his precious little human <3 CAN ANYONE TELL IM INTO ALPHA MALES

 AKAASHI KEIJI

-          Let’s go Haikyuu brainrot wee woo! OKAY DUDE, THE ACTUAL AND IDEAL LIFE WITH AKAASHI IS THE SAME, MAN IS SO IDEAL HIMSELF LIKE HELLO? hes amazing, hes perfect, hes wonderful hes a gentleman? My ideal and actual life with him is anything we want it to be <3 yeah that’s it, things are simple with Akaashi man. it’s all about loving each other and it’s so gentle and nice and easily flowing like waterrr aaaahh I love him spspspss

that was fun LMAO but its also sad cuz I’m reminded again they don’t exist *cries in the corner* tagging besties @noritoshiikamo @fushigurocockslut @nakachuchu @sunatunaroll @strawberryakaashi @7tsumurai @goddessofchaosleo @daikon-dishes @gojos-mochi @aprosperlys @mod-officialsukuna you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to!

my questions for you guys is: 

in your self ships, what trait of yours would they like best and dislike the most and why?

how do you think your self ships would react to you confessing for the first time?

#tag games 💖 #bb moots 💖

[kazuwhora]

hi kc!! i saw that your requests are opened so is it okay if i ask for a matchup 👉🏼👈🏼 feel free to ignore this if not!!

i go by any pronouns and im an infp(i think) and my zodiac is cancer!! i would say that im much more on the introvert side but with close friends and family im much more extroverted. most of the things i do heavily depend on my mood? like if i feel happy on a certain day i’ll have no problem talking with strangers and if im feeling shitty then i would prefer being left alone. im someone who tries their best to make sure everyone around me has a positive image of me, i get highly anxious when i hear someone dislikes me for any particular reason. im also highly aware of the things i do because im insecure and im afraid of judgement jwjsnd. i get random bursts of energy like with friends one moment i’ll be acting like a total crackhead and the next i’ll be super quiet and tired since my social battery drains too quickly for my liking. im not one to open up about myself but i feel like i do talk a lot about what happens in my life to the point where i feel annoying lmao. i dont like they way i act sometimes? because i feel like im a very toxic person so i can be self critical. im kind of stubborn too like youre gonna have to give me a ten page essay on why i should not be doing a certain thing. im the type of person who always finishes what they started because i cant stand not completing a certain project or goal i end up hating myself jwns. oh im a very picky eater too and i have this tendency to chew on ice cubes eheh

uhmm as for interests i dont really have a fixed interest? because i lose interest in stuff really quickly but i do enjoy playing games, writing, drawing, daydreaming and sleeping. im tired 24/7 but when i sleep at like 4am in the morning. i used to do embroidery too but i mainly lost motivation to do it oops

my love language would be physical touch i love love love shit like holding hands and nice hugs esp when they swing your hands while holding them aaa but tbh all of the love languages appeal to me and i do a lil bit of all of them too

really what i look for is someone who can vibe with me since i do stupid crap but at the same time knows how to tone it down when my social battery runs out. as long as theyre funny, respectful and understanding, i’ll be falling head first for them😩

uhh and yeah thats about it!! im sorry if its too long and thank you sm if you do this love you <3

NOT ME READING THIS PANICKING THAT YOU MIGHT HAVE THOUGHT I DECIDED TO IGNORE IT LAFHLIURHGWUHG pls forgive me IM SO SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG

you sound very much like an infp and that's why I'm gonna say that your best match is honestly mikey and im not even saying this bc I know you love him IM SAYING IT BECAUSE IT MAKES SENSE and here is why

in cases where introverts get really burnt out sometimes by interactions, I almost ALWAYS scream intp because it just ??? works ?? mikey is an intp and by nature he's an ambivert. the type to really need someone to help reel him in and relax and not worry about being so social, the type to struggle with expressing his emotions and showing them, the type that NEEDS an infp to encourage that aspect of him. and between you two he's so self critical that experiencing your own self criticisms makes him frustrated and when he realizes that this is how you feel when he criticizes himself in the same way, he'll take a step back and re-evaluate how he goes about things. I think he's the type to really encourage you to tap into the nurturing sense of an infp, which in turn has an effect on how you view yourself and the role you play in people's lives. mikey knows this too, and that's why he's so grateful for your presence.

also physical touch?? mikey needs it. he'll pretend at first like he doesn't care and doesn't like being touched, but if you force him to cuddle he'll give in to his neediness and melt in your arms because really he never had anyone to just hug him and let him get lost in himself and the comfort of someone else. poor baby

#otp

[woogyu]

Fluffy Drabble Game

Drabble Prompts; fluff | angst | funny (when requesting PLEASE add which prompt list it is from)

Can have up to 3 prompts per request + can send multiple requests.

They will all be written for fem reader. I’m very sorry about this, it is just because of what I know/have experience in writing.

Please format requests as follows; fluff member prompt # or #s.

ex. fluff member #12 + #15

ex. fluff florist!member x student!reader #14

Send your requests/asks: here

crossed out = don’t request, usually for when I’ve gotten tired of a specific prompt coming up too often

~ prompts under the cut ~

Drabble Prompts [credit; https://justforshitsandcackles.tumblr.com ] + [https://at.tumblr.com/jaylaxies/%E1%A5%AB-little-romantic-gestures-holding-their/164t61nh2r2u] + some of my own ideas

“You know we’re meant to be.”

“The thought of losing you scares me.”

“Would you just shut up and kiss me already?”

“You’re staring again.”

“Wow. you look stunning.”

“What are you doing here? It’s late.”

“I missed you so much.”

“Don’t smile at me like that. You know it drives me crazy.”

“Mine.”

“I’m going to marry you one day.”

“You cant banish me! This is my bed/bedroom too!”

“You’re seriously like a man-child.”

“Stop being so cute.”

“I feel like i cant breathe when i’m around you.”

“It was a joke, baby. I swear.”

“Are you seriously giving me the silent treatment?”

“Will you just hold me?”

“What do you have behind your back?”

“Not to toot my own horn or anything, but the dog loves me more.”

“You look really good in my sweater.”

“No, i’m not letting you go. It’s too early to get out of bed.”

“I’m not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention.”

“You’re so cute when you’re half asleep like this.”

“Lets just stay in bed.”

“Is that my shirt?”

“No, like..its just, i cant believe you’re actually wearing my clothes.”

“Can you stop playing connect the dots with my freckles?”

“Are you planning to stay glued to my side the whole day?”

“Wow- you look…amazing.”

“I’m not jealous! Its just..you’re mine!”

“You snuck into my room, at 4am…to cuddle?”

“This is gonna sound cheesy but….I love when you’re half asleep and talking nonsense.”

“What? No! I wasn’t staring…I-I was looking at something behind you!”

“Stop being so cute.”

“Tell me again.”

“Can’t you stay a little longer?”

“Because i love you god damnit!”

“Wait a minute.. are you jealous?”

“I really want to kiss you right now.” | “Then do it.”

“I love you. You enormously stubborn pain in the ass.”

“I heard that!” | “You were supposed to!”

“I turned out liking you a lot more than i originally planned.”

“Even when we were kids, i always kicked your ass!”

“Why should we date?” | “Because we’re attracted to each other.” | “I’m attracted to pie, but i do not feel the need to date pie.”

“Where have you been all my life?” | “Hiding from you.”

“Somehow, i always seem to end up here. With you.” | “Soulmate shit, it’s hardcore as hell.”

“I love you.” | “Thats nice.”

“How do i look?”

“If i didn’t know you better, i’d say you were trying to flirt by giving me books.”

“No! It’s your turn!”

“Enjoying the view, beautiful?”

“Be careful, he’s so sweet you might get diabetes.”

“I cant sleep without you. I need my personal body heater and cuddles.”

“How am i supposed to spoil you when you wont accept my gifts?”

“While i do enjoy the silent treatment, i wasn’t aware i had done anything to you.”

“What, you’ve never thought about us?”

“Why is your hand sweating so much?”

“So, we’re just going to ignore the fact that you drunk-dialed me to tell me you love me?”

“Im pretty sure your mom hates me.”

“Can you stay until I fall asleep?”

“Want me to read to you?”

“We should bake a cake!”

“There is something so comforting about being in your room”

“Wow! Look at all the stars”

“I’ll always be here to pick up the pieces”

“You make me feel safe”

“You’re my best friend”

❛ i just wanted to make sure you’re okay. 

❛ there it is, there’s that smile! ❜

❛ you got me flowers? ❜

❛ i’m not afraid of you. ❜

❛ aw, did you miss me? ❜

❛ you’re lucky that you’re cute. ❜

❛ wait, you think i’m cute? ❜

❛ you’re not alone. you never were. ❜

❛ i don’t think i’ve ever seen you smile. ❜

❛ good morning, sleeping beauty. ❜

❛ it’s better with you here. ❜

❛ don’t worry, i’m staying right here. ❜

❛ you’re welcome to stay, if you want. ❜

❛ don’t be a stranger, okay? ❜

❛ i haven’t laughed like this in a long time. ❜

❛ hold still. this might sting a little. ❜

❛ you can hold my hand, if you want. ❜

❛ i knew you would be here. ❜

❛ i just wanted to say thank you for protecting me. ❜

❛ before you do anything, try this and tell me what you think. ❜

❛ wow i really can’t speak, huh? must be because of how pretty you look. ❜

❛ we can order pizza, watch a movie, whatever you want. ❜

❛ what, am i not allowed to look at you? ❜

❛ i’m not giving up on you. ❜

❛ is that my shirt? ❜

❛ this is a good look for you. ❜

❛ pinky promise? ❜

❛ c’mere, you. ❜

❛ honey, i’m home! ❜

❛ you remembered? ❜

❛ you’re my family too. ❜

❛ let’s go somewhere, just you and me. ❜

❛ i’m here for you. don’t forget that. ❜

❛ you’re the only thing that matters. ❜

❛ was that your first kiss? ❜

❛ i was worried something happened to you. ❜

❛ your heart is beating so fast right now. ❜

❛ relationships are built on trust, and i trust you. ❜

❛ you always see the good in people. even me. ❜

❛ do you think the moon is jealous of how pretty you are? ❜

❛ nope, puppy dog eyes aren’t going to work this time! ❜

❛ thanks to you, i know what it means to love again. ❜

❛ how about a kiss before i go? ❜

❛ i’m just glad you’re okay. ❜

❛ here we are, home sweet home. ❜

❛ thanks for being here with me. ❜

❛ seeing you happy is all that matters. ❜

❛ keep it. it looks better on you. ❜

❛ i couldn’t stop missing you if i tried. ❜

❛ you feel like home to me. ❜

#seventeen scenarios #seventeen drabbles #seventeen fluff #seventeen imagines #seventeen #svt #seventeen fanfic #seventeen drabble #seventeen drabble game #nct drabble game