#i wanted to do something detailed so i can get back in the groove again.. however.. underestimated the 'detailed' part

[egophiliac]

Hi there! I really love your comics and how expressive they are. How do you go about making the characters in your comic so expressive?

thank you! 💚💜💚 I am REALLY bad at explaining things, so my apologies if this doesn't make a lot of sense, but maybe there's something helpful in here somewhere. :')

1. warm up! drawing is a physical activity, after all! so if I'm planning on sitting down and drawing for a while, I usually start off by taking a couple of minutes to doodle a bunch of circles and lines and random shapes, just to get my drawing arm goin' again and get back into the physical groove. just stuff like this:

and just do that for however long you feel like! you can kind of feel when your arm starts to loosen up and your strokes get more confident. it makes it a lot easier to get those swoopy big lines and gestures!

2. play around with how you use your lines! paying attention to the shapes that they're making will change a lot about how much force and life your drawing feels like it has. (no way is better than another, it just depends on what effect you're going for and how it looks as part of the larger whole.)

and you can also use lines against each other to get different vibes:

it's not really a matter of "you need to make sure all your lines are always doing this all the time", it's more like...being aware of it, and getting that into the general thrust of a pose, if that makes sense? like a lot of smaller lines of action, beyond the big one that goes through the spine.

(just gonna use my own art as examples, apologies)

if you have a good foundation of tension, then all of the little bumps and contours of a character's details won't get in the way of it, and it'll still come through.

and don't forget about negative space either! the spaces between things have their own interesting shapes too!

I don't mean this to come off as, like, all these extra things that you need to be constantly thinking about and stressing over. more like...just try different stuff and then see how it works and how it changes the feeling! if you find a good shape, see if you can exaggerate it and make it more interesting, and how that affects things! angles and shapes are a LOT of fun to experiment and mess around with, especially when you're going more cartoony. :D

3. acting!

just...spending a little time to think about what the characters are actually doing! (aka the "figuring out what everyone is doing with their hands" bit.) this is more a personal preference, but especially in multi-panel comics, I like to have them be in the middle of doing stuff. not just big actions, but smaller things -- like even just how they're sitting or standing -- so that it feels like we're looking in on the middle of a scene, instead of a couple of characters just standing around neutrally and staring straight ahead while talking at each other.

this probably sounds really obvious, but it is one of the most fun parts for me! I love trying to find some little action or something that they can be involved in, especially if it's relevant to their character or adds an extra joke. (for some reason this usually involves me being mean to Sebek) (I'm sorry)

it doesn't need to be everyone Always! Doing! Something! all the time, especially if starts becoming distracting (sometimes they do actually need to just be standing around neutrally and staring straight ahead, especially if there's a bigger action going on that you want the audience to focus on instead). but even just figuring out some kind of non-neutral pose for them to be in can add a lot and make it feel less generic!

3. thumbnailing!

this is, again, very much a personal preference; unfortunately, every artist really is different, and we all have different processes that work better for us. so I can only speak to my personal experience! but I find what helps is to start REALLY rough -- not so much as in messy, as in not trying to start right into actually drawing everything out. like, literally just starting with stick figures and :O faces.

it probably doesn't sound relevant when talking about Drawing Expressively, but I find it's really, really helpful to have already figured out what everyone should be doing (acting!) and what the overall general layout and flow of things should be, before getting into the actual meat of drawing the characters. like having a sketch for the sketch!

(good compositional flow is something I struggle with, and text layout especially, so this stage also helps a LOT with making sure things are fitting where I want them and staying consistent/not breaking screen direction/etc.)

then after that, I can go ahead and focus on getting those Shapes and Lines and Angles and all that, without having to think too much about the layout or where things should go!

(of course, the downside of that is that my thumbnails are usually way better than my actual drawings, alas alas.)

4. this is more philosophical, but...give yourself some slack. the stress of Making Things Look Good is, ironically, often the biggest problem. (see: thumbnails looking better than the actual drawings.) so...let yourself draw shittier and without regards to accuracy. make things just for yourself without thinking about posting or showing them to anyone else. draw stupid faces and wrong proportions because they feel better that way. focus on what's fun and not on getting a perfect end result. "draw expressively, not well", as they say -- you can always tighten up things like proportions and details later, if you really want to.

that's all WAY easier said than done -- god knows I haven't really managed it -- but even just aiming for that attitude really, REALLY helps. if your lines are confident, they'll look a lot more alive and expressive than lines that are exactly technically precise but have no rhythm in them. (this is why tracing photographs tends to look so weirdly stiff and unrealistic, by the way -- even if you're drawing realistically, you usually need to exaggerate and stylize a little bit so it doesn't look lifeless.) it's a balance between caring about what you draw, but also being willing to let things go a little bit.

↑ I hope some of this helps! I don't know if any of this was actually what you had in mind, let alone much of it actually made sense outside of my head. :') but hopefully you (or other people) will be able to get something out of it!

#art #twisted wonderland #(not really related but since that's what the examples are) #i'm so sorry most of my art advice boils down to 'SHAPES ARE FUN' #(they are though)

[swordmaid]

cers 👑👑

her pose is based off this screencap of shiv succession just because i thought it fits [:

#cersei lannister #asoiaf #valyrianscrolls #mine. #i wanted to do something detailed so i can get back in the groove again.. however.. underestimated the 'detailed' part #tbh the cape is supposed to have brocade too but my sanity 😭😭 #and the fashion inspiration for this is everywhere but has ice and fire ever claimed they were historically accurate? no? exactly. #i usually put her in green but i thought red would be fitting this time. tbh i was debating that colour bc that seemed typical for her alas #i craved. and i actually had like 3 more sketches for her hair + outfit but this one took so long i dont think ill ever get around #to rendering those loool. and this is also why i dont draw her often. she just has SO much.......... SO MUCH details #i cry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #but i do like this series tho. where its more like a fashion exploration. i feel like redoing cat's to give her a better outfit #but i should do someone else lol

[milfjuulpod]

Down The River

request: yes

Can you do one of Melissa protecting fem reader after someone tries to hurt them or something? And then she holds them while they cry?

warnings: uhhh idk scrape/minor yelling?

A/N: carissima=a more “serious” term for my dear.

thank u for sending a request! it means the world, and i hope i did it justice ! much love 🫶 also this gif wow anyone else got butterflies

Somehow between Janine’s persistent pleading and Melissa’s not-so-empty threats, you found yourself at the Twin Tubing River with more of your coworkers than you would have liked. Sure, you got along with everyone well considering it was still your first year teaching at Abbott, but something about Ava’s “tubing era” made you a bit uneasy. Floating down the river with Melissa would be a dream, the two of you finally sealed the deal recently after months of flirting. Despite being head over heels for the red headed woman, the both of you wanted to wait before telling everyone such an intimate detail about the both of your lives, now shared.

So here you are, at a picnic table playing with the rope on your tube, surrounded by such an odd group of people, but you were happy to be there nonetheless. Of course, Janine and Jacob brought way too many snacks for a day in the water, the table overflowing with food. Ava was busy attaching makeshift pillows to her float, getting ready to round everyone up to make their way down. Somehow, your eyes found themselves on Melissa again, taking in every detail of her. The green bathing suit she wore looked so good against her skin, her hair was blowing in the wind so perfectly, as if there was a fan propped right in front of her. Her eyes locked with yours, and you both knew she caught you staring. She gave you the sweetest smile she could, and went back to flipping through her book.

“Alright y’all, buddy up and attach with ropes, I don’t want to have to hire new staff next year,” Ava said to the group, passing out said ropes. Melissa immediately stood up and walked over to you, laying her arm over your shoulder as casually as she could. “I’ll take the kid, make sure she doesn’t drown,” She teased you. Blush made its way to your cheeks, both from your girlfriend and the attention it brought to you from everyone else. Although you and Melissa hadn’t explicitly come out as a couple yet, the two of you had a hard time keeping your hands off each other, and none of your friends are that blind.

One by one, all of you descended into the cold, Melissa and you holding hands under the water, of course. Despite your nerves earlier, you had to admit this was nice. You did love everyone you worked with, and everybody had found their own groove to follow. “What are you thinkin’ about over there?” Melissa asked you quietly. She could always tell when you were deep in thought. “Nothing much,” you answered honestly, “just appreciating where I am, and who I’m with.” If Melissa’s eyes could turn into hearts, they would have in that moment. Each and every day spent together she could feel herself falling deeper and deeper in love.

“You’re too sweet,” She shrugged the compliment off. “Yeah? Sweet enough to get a present when we get home tonight?” You asked, giving her your best begging face you could in that moment. Melissa’s grip around your hand tightened, and even with the sun as bright as it was, you could never miss that dark look in her eyes when her thoughts about you became…less than professional. “Yeah baby, maybe even sweet enough for two,” She smiled at you, and there were the blushed cheeks again.

After about an hour of the river, the gang decided it was time to head back to land and have some lunch. The way back was, to say the least, less than successful. Everybody piled up by the stairs, trying their best to exit their tubes gracefully. A couple was at the exit at the same time as you, a man and a woman. Just your luck, as you were making the exit, so was the man, who was much larger than you. As he swung his tube out of the water, his arm and float shoved into your back, pushing you onto the concrete. Before you could even express the sudden pain in your knee, the clumsy man started yelling. “Why don’t you stay out of people’s way and things like this won’t happen?” He exclaimed. You felt your stomach drop in fear. Not from the man, not from the wound on your knee, but from Melissa.

If there was one thing Melissa would protect more than anything, it was you. “Are you fucking kidding me?” She yelled back, her voice much louder than his. “Maybe if you were actually using your head you would’ve looked around before swingin’ that thing around like a god damn dance ribbon,” Melissa was now out of the water, hair tied up, and she was just a few feet away from a fight. Luckily, Gregory stepped in and took Melissa’s arm, pulling her more towards your direction rather than the idiot who caused the scene. The sight of you still on the ground pulled Melissa back down to earth and she immediately rushed to your side. “Come here baby, let’s go,” She said, not caring about the pet name in front of anyone anymore. She took your arm in hers and started walking you towards the bath house.

You didn’t have to ask her for anything, Melissa jumped right into taking care of you. She turned on the shower and let it warm up before walking you in with her. “Let me rinse it hon, does it still hurt, are you okay?” She asked. Moments before, Melissa was red hot with anger, and now here she was, being oh so gentle towards you. When you didn’t answer, she again knew something was wrong. For whatever reason, you had started crying and couldn’t stop. The scrape from earlier was stinging, the confrontation was overwhelming, not to mention it happening in front of so many people. Your chest heaved as you began softly sobbing in the shower. You reached out for Melissa, desperate for her touch. You wanted to calm down and tell her everything going on in your head, but all you could get out was her name.

“It’s okay carissima,” she whispered, taking you in her arms, letting the hot water hit your back. “You’re okay, I got you, you know that,” she assured you, gently planting kisses on your head as you cried into her chest. The tears didn’t last much longer, with Melissa they never do. She always took care of you, like nobody else did. You were special in her eyes, and she made sure you felt it every day. “Thank you, Mel,” you finally said, tears subsiding. She lifted your head from her shoulder and gave you a kiss, this time on the lips. “You don’t have to thank me, it’s what I’m here for.” Most times your showers with Melissa were much more sensual, but right now, with her gentle caresses and words, all you felt was love. Pure happiness and love.

The door to the bath house opened, shushing you and Melissa immediately. “Hey, it’s just me. You okay?” Ava’s voice sounded from beyond the curtain. “Yeah, I’m alright, thank you though,” you told her, hoping she would take that answer and leave you back to your girlfriend. “Alright, just wanted to check on ya. Oh and Melissa, while you’re in there can you look for my shampoo bottle? I know you have better eyesight than the other one,” Ava said, and walked back out the door. Melissa and you stared at each other wide-eyed. “Well, I guess Ava knows now,” you said. “Yeah,” Melissa said, giving you another gentle kiss, “I guess she does.”

#abbott elementary #abbott elementary fics #lisa ann walter #reader fic #wlw #melissa schemmenti headcanon #melissa schemmenti #melissa schemmenti x reader

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

it's been so long since I was here. But I wasn't to see something

How good do you think the bachelors and bachelorettes are at dancing? Ad as many characters as you like, just please add Lance and Isaac because this question came to mind because of them lmao

Hey hey 👋 glad to see you again ☺️

I decided to go wild and write about all the SDV and SVE marriage candidates (+ Isaac). Hope you like it. Enjoy!

Stardew Valley:

Elliott:

Before dancing, he dresses like a real dandy - everything is ironed, clean and perfect.

He just loves slow dancing, such a romantic.

If he is in the right mood, and with his lover/spouse, he will show himself as a tango master.

Even got a rose in his teeth somewhere, that's how passionate he is about the flavor of the dance.

It is sometimes rare that he will accidentally step on his partner's foot or dress, but as a dancer he is quite good.

Sebastian:

Ugh. Why?

If it were Sebastian's will, he would never have gone to the Flower dance in the first place.

He can't and won't dance, no matter what kind of dance it is.

But the system dictates otherwise, so he had to learn the simplest moves at least for this dumb festival.

Dances very simply, without enthusiasm (unless it's his crush/lover).

Shane:

Yoba, why did Marnie drag him to this stupid festival? He doesn't want to dance.

Besides, he can't dance. Like, at all.

The best he can do is a little duckling dance or a father-daughter waltz (in his case, a niece). And that's because he loves his niece.

But otherwise - no, he will not dance, and he is not a good dancer. Don't even try to ask him.

Alex:

He's ready to show himself in all his splendor.

With Haley as his partner most of the time, he knows the dance by heart.

He's also learned a couple of breakdance moves to show off his athleticism.

A pretty good dancer I would say, but he's not too fond of all those ballet and waltz type dances.

Sam:

Oh, man! Sam can pull off some pretty cool moves. Breakdance, hip-hop - what do you want to see? Uh, waltz? Sorry, he's not really good at that.

(Well, to be fair, he can do it, he just doesn't want to show it).

He whines a little bit about how he looks silly in a suit and he doesn't know how to dance much, but then quickly gets into the groove.

Hey, he's pretty good at it. But he's willing to dance like this only for his partner.

Harvey:

Surprisingly, he's pretty laid back about even the dances whose movements he doesn't know much about.

If it concerns the same waltz, of course. You shouldn't expect him to move energetically, he's not at that age anymore.

He may accidentally step on his partner's foot if the sun is shining directly in his eyes, but this is rare.

But he can learn simple movements and dance well with his partner.

Penny:

Penny loves to watch ballet and waltz, but dancing herself... it's a little tricky.

She actually don't mind to dance and has practiced the moves at home where no one can see her.

But when it comes to dancing in front of people, she gets very nervous.

In dancing with a partner there will always be a follower, but once she gets used to it, she dances very well. The practice hasn't gone to waste after all.

Leah:

She is in favor of any fun activity, so dancing is a pretty good option for her.

The girl is not particularly shy of the audience, even because her movements are not too smooth because of the unusual punch (thanks to Pam).

She doesn't really know how to dance, but that doesn't bother her.

She's having fun, and that's what counts. And if others are having fun - even better!

Haley:

Step aside! Now the dance queen will once again defend her title.

Her dance is perfect down to the last detail. Therefore, more often than not, she will pick a partner who is also a good dancer.

She dances only slow dances because too vigorous movements can make her sweat a lot, ew.

However, will not refuse to dance with friends around a campfire or something else just for fun.

Emily:

Dancing? Absolutely! It's her passion and love.

She can do all sorts of different dances very well, likes energetic dances the most.

The type of people who will drag everyone to the dance floor by the hand, and she does not care that her friends dance like a hippopotamus in a china shop.

The main thing is that everyone has fun! She's ready to rock!

Abigail:

She can't stand all that silly slow dancing, especially in heels and a dress.

But energetic and chaotic dancing with friends is welcome!

She knows youth street dancing very well, yet still somehow manages to get tangled up in her own feet during the flower dance.

Depending on the dance itself, she can be a good dancer as well as a good dancer with two left feet.

Maru:

Oh no, don't even try to get her to dance.

Show her the bare minimum, but more complicated moves? No, thank you.

She considers herself incapable of dancing and confirms it by constantly tripping over everything possible.

Although, maybe if you give her more time to learn the dances, she can dance a little better.

Stardew Valley Expanded:

Lance:

A talented man is talented in everything. So he can dance well, too.

But it's about dancing with a partner, not solo dancing.

Either a delicate and romantic waltz or a passionate tango - his partner's choice.

He dances so perfectly, it's like he's been doing it all his life.

Magnus Rasmodius:

Magnus has a background in dancing, but the memories of those dances only make him sad.

Surprisingly, he is a very gentle waltz dancer. It's the best he can do, but it's beautiful and professional. However, it requires a partner, so...

He won't dance in public though, so it's easier for him to say he can't.

A hidden dancer, just like a diamond in the rough.

Victor:

Well-mannered and very romantic - you think he doesn't know how to dance? Wrong.

He will amaze everyone, and especially his partner, with how well he dances.

He also prefers light and slow movements to classical music. Most often with the object of his adoration.

But if asked, he'll teach a few moves in dancing.

Sophia:

Can't and won't dance. Don't even try to get her on the dance floor, it won't work.

She is terribly shy and may cry if someone forces her to dance in public.

Even a nice pink cake will not lure her to dance.

The most she can do is just jumping on the spot to cheerful music (and then only with her best friend Scarlett). Hardly what you'd call dancing, but still.

Olivia:

To say she can't dance is a personal insult.

Salsa, tango, bachata, rumba, or just slow dance - even now she can show a master class.

Beautiful flowing movements, energetic and passionate. For her, dancing is sacred.

Even though she is already a middle-aged woman, she has enough stamina in dancing to outlast any young dancer.

Claire:

She had waited her whole life for this moment.

Ballet is her passion, and even though she was a little nervous, she showed herself perfectly in this dance.

Beautiful, polished choreography. She has a lot to be proud of - her dancing is excellent, the envy of many famous dancers.

That's what it means to love your hobby! She is simply a wonderful dancer.

Bonus - Isaac:

He certainly didn't originate the idea of dancing.

No one really knew if he could dance, because he turned everyone down (he is still a bitch).

To someone, after all, he did not refuse an uncomplicated dance, and his movements were quite acceptable.

Not a great dancer, but he certainly won't step on his dance partner's feet.

For a beginner dances quite well (if only the movements are the simplest).

#stardew valley #sdv #sve #stardew valley expanded #sve lance #sdv shane #sve isaac #sdv wizard #sdv rasmodius #sdv sam #sdv sebastian #sdv elliott #sdv harvey #sdv alex #sve victor #sve olivia #sve claire #sve sophia #sdv emily #sdv haley #sdv penny #sdv abigail #sdv leah #sdv maru #sdv headcanons #sve headcanon #thanks for the ask! #goodnight everyone #sve magnus

[crazedsnurp]

| 💕 self-love time! talk about which ones of YOUR creations (edits, artworks, fanfics) you like the most then send to other creators to do the same 💕

Tagged by: @vodkafolie

• Piece I am most proud of is this one of Karl Heisenberg! Before this piece, I HATED my art in just about every way.

• I felt it wasn't going anywhere. My art felt stunted, and no growth was to be found. Then, I started this piece. I decided I was going to experiment and step outside of my comfort zone with art.

• I downloaded a TON of textured brushes and just went crazy. After trial and error, I finally settled on starting with the hat. After TWO HOURS I got done shading his crumpled hat and...

• I loved it. I was so happy with it. Something I haven't felt in a long time with my art. Of course, I enjoyed previous pieces, but it was nothing compared to this.

• So, I spent hours on this piece. I was so engrossed in it and the details. One day, I sat in the dark for 6+ hours, just coloring, finely detailing even if it was so small no one would notice upon first glance. Seeing how a certain brush worked, how I could texture this or that, it felt freeing. I just let myself go and get into the groove. It was so nice to finally have a spark back when it came to my art.

• Now I love drawing again so much. It's so nice drawing and not hating what I create. I have a newfound appreciation/approach to my work. When I draw, it's for me :))

• If anyone has questions about my process, brushes, and program I use, please ask! I am a strong believer in lifting up other artists. There is no good reason to gatekeep art. It's just ridiculous. I will offer any advice I can to help :))💖

• Also, I appreciate all the love I've gotten on this piece! I read EVERY hashtag. It's all so sweet, thank you ;-;

• I would @ people, but I don't know many here, so if you see this and wanna join, go ahead 🕺

• Here are some closeups on that piece. Thanks again gamers for the support (also if anyone ever wants art as a pfp I don't mind as long as you credit me, please! I've gotten asked this quite a few times now, so I thought I'd share here)

#karl heisenberg #thanks gamers! #I will continue to drop bangers like this when I can!!!! #also thank you for the tag that was so sweet ;-;

[itsjustagoober]

So, uhhhhhhh.

Howdy y'all. Been a minute since I've really been around here. I mean, yes I've been reblogging and stuff, but like...that's roughly all the time I've had to do? Just pop in for a bit or so, reblog and head off again.

Gonna do my best to keep it short, but I'll also put it under the cut to keep the base post short to most. Here goes nothing, I guess?

TL;DR: A family emergency back in June literally caused my entire summer, which I had originally planned to be my most creative and focused time for projects and art and stuff, to be watching after and living with a family member up until the first week of October to make sure they would be okay. I then took a week vacation this past week to visit my girlfriend and I was so relaxed I didn't do anything else, either. I am gonna need time to get back into the groove on here as I process and reassess what I wanna do for my blogs for the rest of the year and from here out.

To start, I am very glad that I made sure my great uncle was fine for sure, the whole time I was living with him. I just also realized that, now that it's over, being his immediate caretaker for three-to-four months? Life really stole my summer and everything fun I wanted to do this year. It sucks. It's not entirely his fault, but hrrrrmgle.

So, June. I was hearing how wet and frequent his coughs were and was trying to get him to go to Urgent Care/go see his primary (which he assured me he didn't have one when I always am the one making his appointments for him), but he continued to refuse and fight me the entire way. He does this to everyone who tries to tell him how to do something he doesn't want to hear, so I just took it and knew he'd realize sooner or later this was a losing battle on his side.

That came the day he went for his dentist appointment and he ended up having a cardiac episode in the chair before they started. They called me right back and I took him to the hospital. They gave him so much stuff to bring his heart rate down, like holy shit. Thankfully, since the dentist didn't start with anything, there was nothing to worry about with drugs fighting with other drugs. I stayed there until his stepdaughter finally got off of work and I was allowed to go home after a pretty draining and traumatic day.

Oh, that reminds me. I said it wasn't wholly his fault about how this summer turned out. That's because there's another character here, his stepdaughter. She will be referred to as S from here out. While I'm at it, Great Uncle will also be R and S' daughter will be K. K is pretty cool, though, so you probably won't see her here as much as the other two, considering.

So, S is an interesting lady. She is about as old as my mother and acts like she's 22 still. Nothing against her wanting to be that way, but it made it very difficult to genuinely talk with her or see her at any point that wasn't on her time and when she was in town. Most of the summer, she barely came to visit despite everything. Every weekend, she went out partying or camping or out of town/state because she couldn't handle all the stuff with R. You can guess who that fell to, obviously. And the fact that S assumed I was gonna take care of him for her anyway, bleh. Yes, as he's family and I care about the people I care about, but assuming all that and I had to find this out later and from someone else? Not a great impression there.

Took a dinner break here, so where was I? I visited him in the hospital when I could, mostly. He was moved around so much and going through procedures and the like I barely caught him in passing. The day he was let out and moved to rehab, however, I was sure to go visit him ASAP. I made sure he was settled, met the nurses taking care of him and the schedules for medication.

He didn't have an amazing time there, according to him. However, this is because of two very important details: He didn't want to be there and wanted to be home already and that he needed to complete rehab to get home. You can probably imagine where this is going, yes. He refused to do his bare minimum of exercises and the like and then wondered why they were keeping him longer, even though they wanted to see him go and make a full recovery.

Another detail that's important is that one of the doctors in the hospital sent him to rehab with a defibrillator vest. This doctor apparently didn't explain it to him, any of his nurses at the hospital, none of them at the rehab center and most of all, me. So, this was a 6-pound burden for us all that reeeeally pissed him off especially. The damn thing would beep for any reason and while there was a book for each beep, every message shared the same beep! You wouldn't know the reason until you cross-checked the manual! And the damn battery pack kept nailing him in the shin, too. Augh.

Eventually, after a short time and a big tantrum from him that required S and I to be there for his patient review (in which S also had a breakdown because of this), he finally realized he couldn't get out until he kept the vest on and did the harder exercises to build up enough strength to be let go to go back home. And then he was, about the second to last week of August. And that's when I moved in to be his caretaker and help him with stuff around the house while he got used to it again.

The longest part came next, all his follow-ups with doctors he saw in the hospital to give him a clean bill of health to drop the defibrillator vest fully or drop it to get an internal one installed. All these follow-ups took end of August through to the end of September and his patience for everything was so worn thin. Every little thing agitated him and he never wanted to do anything extra outside of what he HAD to do. It was very frustrating for everyone involved trying to help him, myself included.

Finally, we came to October 2nd. The day he finds out about the vest and his medical stuff going forward. We go in and see the doctor. He's a very nice man and he's doing his best to do his job and let R know that, while he should be okay to take off the vest now, he needs to still be careful as he could plummet in health at any moment if he overdoes anything or even does super nothing (ya know, stagnant type nothing). Of course, R only heard that he could take the vest off and that's what he was waiting for. He was suddenly very energetic and headstrong that the doctor then quickly tried to let him know we'd still need to see him in a few months and make sure everything is okay. He even offered we come in later in the week for him to get a light defib shock to fix his heart rate from afib.

This, of course, is not what R wanted to hear. He was done, as far as he was concerned, and didn't want to do anything else. It started with a 'No.' and soon turned into a full screaming match, only from his side, to the doctor just trying to make sure he'd be alright going forward. Once the doctor realized there was nothing he could do to change R's mind, mostly from a motion from me that it wasn't worth the argument, he dismissed us as professionally as he could and everything. We left and I grabbed his card, just in case anything happens, ya know?

We're downstairs and he's so proud of himself for that outburst. He got what he wanted to hear and wasn't going to take anything else for anything he didn't want to hear or realize. We went to lunch and I just sort of clammed up for the rest of the day because it wasn't worth the effort. He didn't apologize after he calmed down or anything. He was just so proud of himself and it pretty much made me feel nauseated.

Since that was just a week or so ago from this, he started to get a big head. He was good to go and didn't need anymore doctors or meds and or anyone to help him. He started getting visibly and vocally frustrated with me, so I figured that was a good time for a short break from each other. Went back once or twice to get my stuff like clothes and food from living there for two-to-three months and then saw him off that last Saturday for October 7th. I was so anxious and everything, especially with hoping he'd be alright while I was gone.

I told S and K I'd be taking a week vacation and then go back to pre-cardiac episode (once a week every Wednesday or whatever day if he had appointments). Never heard back from S, but I thanked me for everything I had done all summer and said my kindness and love would be paid back in time. One of my great aunts, married to one of R's brothers, said the same thing. I believe them both when they said that too. I didn't need it, but I guess affirmation and validation that I did a good thing was worth it, after all it had taken out of me.

And then I went to Missouri to visit my girlfriend (@somechubbynerd ) for a week. I was so relaxed and so forced to not do anything I didn't have to that I sort of just existed in a time and limbo of bliss? I have high anxiety as it is and, not feeling it for the first time in years, I sort of didn't know what to do with myself?

My girlfriend helped loads with that, though, by guiding me through places she wanted to take me and spend time with me. We cuddled and watched YouTube together. We baked cookies and made a chicken fettuccine dinner together. We went to the zoo together and then to one of her favorite restaurants in the same day. She made me so at ease and helped me be myself for once that I sort of just was so mind-numbed into pure bliss and peace with myself.

It felt great, looking back, but I just genuinely didn't know what to do about it. I hadn't felt that in years and I am still feeling it as I write this now. It feels so nice and so calming. This is awesome, given that I actually went in to urgent care for a panic attack that was gonna put me out for a few days, back in June/July. It sucked so much, but I'm glad they helped me recover so quickly. I couldn't afford to be down for too long. I am so essential to everyone around me and to be there for them, even if I know that they all can't always be there for me.

My girlfriend, as well as a few others, made me realize I probably need to start saying no more. Not because it's to be a bastard, but I can't give myself away like this again and again and get so little in return or no time to recover from the last thing. Obviously, I should still do stuff on a basis I choose, but yeah. Maybe I should say no a little more. It also made me realize that, while not anyone's particular fault, my summer was stolen from me. This summer was planned between my girlfriend and I, as well as a few mutual friends, to work together on art, writing and projects we have been invested in for a year or more and have to keep putting off due to life and work stuff. This was gonna be the summer we were all available...and then we weren't.

I'm still processing these last three months and the year or more so far, since I finally had a break long enough to realize what's going on with myself and my life and someone to bounce my thoughts off of that I couldn't with family. It has opened my eyes a bit more about my circumstances and what the near future might hold for me. I miss my girlfriend so much already and I felt so bad I wasn't crying as much as she was when she had to drop me back off at the train station, but I guess I was still processing it too?

Yeah, still processing things. Probably for a bit, too. I'll probably need some time to ease back into things here. All my blogs and what I was doing before sort of disappearing for a long time and also being interrupted from a lot of threads I wanted to continue or even start. I hope you all can be patient and understanding with me and I'll do my best to do the same. I love y'all and nothing will ever change that, okay? I just need some time to figure myself out again. Yeah. Just need more time...

#the goober speaks #irl stuff #long post #auuuuugh

[minuy600]

Atari 2600 Chronicles 1980 #5 - Night Driver

The more early racing games I play, the more I realise that Super Bug was an almightly fluke when it comes to my enjoyment of them. Every single one that came before or after has not been my cup of tea, to say the least. Might be my fault considering i'm not using the right controllers for the job. I dunno.

Now, at least Night Driver brings something new to the table, it's a home console take on the German game Nürburgring 1 from half a decade ago. It's major claim to fame is that it simulates a 3D effect by letting objects get larger as they 'come closer' in your view, on a road determined by what I think are meant to be pylons. First time since Star Ship since i've seen it attempted on 2600, and it's a fair bit more convincing this time around.

The draw distance is easily the game's greatest weakness unfortunately. Considering the speed you're going at, *especially* if you flick the difficulty switches to increase that, you can hardly react on time to what is coming and therefore you crash. A LOT. There's oncoming traffic that gets in your way at the most ridiculous times too. Making corners at the higher difficulties is a near impossible task as a result, even slowing down when you know one is coming has been unsuccesful for me.

Once again, it could well be that the game does get better with a paddle controller. I am considering getting the 4-in-1 paddle package and it does include Night Driver (and Breakout which is also due a re-review). Counterpoint to that is, I have seen some videos about it and according to the comments, even back in the 1980s, people have struggled to get to grips with the tougher tracks and would prefer to play the beginner track or the randomly generated one, which I would agree with. Disappointing to see that it is not just my skewed perception on the matter.

The Verdict

Graphics (5): This game would've scored so much better if you could actually see what was coming. The traffic looks well detailed and the 3D effect is fairly convincing once you get 'into the groove'. It doesn't matter in the end of the day, you speed past the extra details in no time flat and the immersion is ruined if you collide with a... pole, pylon, sidewalk, you know, the things on the side of the road. It looks weird to have a violent explosion happen by a rectangle.

Sound (5): BEEP BEEP. BEEP BEEP. BEEP BEEP. BEEP BEEP. That's your soundtrack if you play with traffic warning signals ON. Turning the warnings off only makes it more likely that you smash yourself out of contention for a high score. That's not amazing game design. The driving and explosion sounds are precisely nothing new, though I don't see how they could've improved on those at this moment in time. I got annoyed pretty quickly.

Fun Factor (4): Better than Monte Carlo as it at least attempts something new. It's a shame it's all a shambles as crashing is so goddamn easy and completely kills your momentum. A game that is meant to be super fast slows you down mega often, how ironic. Track 1 is so simple that you essentially end up doing the same exact things over and over again for 99 seconds, and that is if you DO manage to avoid bashing your car to bits. That's the best one as you can briefly experience the raw speed this game has on offer. Missed potential and a half. Don't even bother with tracks 2 and 3 if you aren't hyped to go slow in a fast game.

Longevity (5): That leaves the random track and the core concept to pick up the slack and... we're reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally past the point where getting points for distance travelled is any good for a seperate title. I could see high score chasers having a brief go at it if they are blessed with masterful reaction times, maybe? The random track is a cute idea and can be oooookay for 5 minutes to see if you can have a string of luck with the corner selection. You need to stretch the definition of longevity extremely thin if you want to get your money's worth.

In Conclusion

#retro gaming #minuy600 #review #sona #atari #atari 2600 #1980 #night driver

[maccas-strawbi-sundae]

✨💗 December 💗✨

♥ I got accepted into my course! It starts late next month, three days a week so hopefully I can go back to working outside of study just to help out my partner in regards to income (so long as it isn't customer service). I've been so anxious, I attended an info session with my partner and it would seem my class is primarily on the younger side and as we have to work on one another for practice it made me even more stressed.

♥ I am slowly getting around to trying all of the Muscle Nation products! I have been really unwell physically so I have been doing the minimum honestly.

♥ I picked out my wedding dress which surprisingly wasn't too bad of an experience? I had always expected the worst being someone on the bigger side e.g: nothing will fit, nothing will look flattering on me, I'm going to never find anything I like etc. Well, I did find something I like and ironically, it is by the same designer of the dress I originally fell for but, could not have as nowhere in the state where I live had it. I'll include a photo below but, for anyone who is interested in the finer details, the dress is the 7177+ by Stella York and the dress I had fallen for was the 7322+ by Stella York. Both dresses have a similar flow in terms of applique and design aha (you can also partially see my sternum tattoo hence the pink being visible on my chest).

♥ I had to cancel my rescheduled tattoo appointments as they were not feasible in terms of time (they were booked for days in which I'd be studying as, at the time I hadn't heard back) or money as I had all these things come out of nowhere all at once but, my regular tattoo artist thankfully was understanding as always and is willing to hold onto the designs for me for when I am able to come in.

♥ One of the more tedious tasks this year has been cleaning. It is an every day task but, I've always struggled with cleaning (outside of just regular dump whatever in the bin kind of cleaning). I can organise things but the actual take the time to clean has always been difficult for me. I get these odd moods now and again where I will spend hours cleaning, even deep cleaning appliances. Thankfully I had that happen today, I'd been wanting to clean out the fridge properly before Christmas and today that happened, I got down, pulled out all the shelves and cleaned it all, got in all the grooves and hard to reach spots too. I then spent some time doing all the dishes that were by the sink, re-organised all the cupboards and finally worked on the bedroom. It honestly came at a much needed time. Tomorrow I aim to organise all my clothes as this time of year I do a cull on clothes to donate.

♥ Alongside the cleaning, I've been trying to sort out what can go into storage (I have a storage locker, it costs $250AUD a month in rent) as our bedroom has been piled up with boxes but also little knick-knacks for a while not to mention my limited edition Care Bear plushes (which I keep in the box). I am part way there, just need to see when it can all go out to storage as my partner chose to put majority of his presents for me out in the storage locker.

♥ I think everyone tends to experience some kind of stuff around with grocery shopping for Christmas, unfortunately I am encountering it this year. Due to financial constraints it has been picking and choosing when and where can we get X, Y and Z. There is still 14 or so items that are needed (most go hand in hand for certain dishes) on my end since I cook every Christmas. This year there will be less than what we had last year however, we are attending my family's Christmas lunch this year so all that I'll be cooking is the dinner aspect but of course, a trifle will also be done up.

♥ Wedding planning is on the minimal side at the moment but, I've been thinking of having a sunset theme for photos e.g: people wear colours of the sunset so that when we take photos everyone stands out with different colours of the sunset. I think it would look really pretty. Oranges, yellows, pinks, purples and blues too. I actually have to order in a dress for my younger sister to try which is a really pretty 'dusty' blue.

#mental health #weight loss #health & fitness #personal #life #life update #ASD #autistic adult #studies #me #wedding #wedding dress #picsart #green #aesthetic

[arthyritis]

Vampire Paulie AU Fic--talk of police and uhh instinctual things. I didn't decide to go into detail this time but who knows for next time ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

,

50 years of being 27 really put a strain on Paulie's sense of time.

Originally, after landing its job at IRIS, things started to move slower than they ever had. But as soon as it got in the rhythm, the groove, if you will, time sped up and it was getting bored again.

He couldn't remember the last time he was this bored (well, he could--it wasn't a pleasant memory to relive), but it was never a good thing, he knew that.

Especially with acquired vampire instincts nearly forcing it to the brink of insanity time and time again. Those mixed with boredom was almost always a recipe for disaster.

He hadn't eaten in... what was it now? Two, three weeks? There wasn't much longer he could possibly wait before the black-out occurred. A gruesome thing that was to wake up from.

And, simply put, a body discovered in his camera room was not something Paulie particularly wanted on his record. No matter how disposable IRIS considered some of their employees.

Maybe it could steal another blood bag? It had been a while since it stole the last one, but it had also very barely been passed by as a suspect. The trust issues were still very much there, and they would probably stay for a long while.

Probably years, in fact. He still remembered losing the trust of several of his old neighbours and--

He shook his head, refusing to bring those memories back. He still felt sorry for one particular pair of immortals he'd lived next to briefly before certain problems rose.

"Paulie, focus." The reminder falling from its own mouth was much needed, the eye joining the chant for a moment until it looked back at the screens in front of it to watch out for anything odd.

,

After work, Paulie had thought about hitting the gym, before it recognised that its hunger was getting more intense, and thus giving it less time to hold off.

And so, he was forcibly lead into the predicament of finding food.

He knew of some spots of less overall population, but a good amount of foot traffic. He could easily find someone, have a meal, and never once be spotted, within five minutes. Of course, the rush was unwanted; like a waiter at a restaurant very obviously wanting more tables open and not even giving you two minutes after finishing a meal before rushing you out the door. But it was the reality of living in the city, even with a job on the outskirts.

The benches were open, and Paulie headed to one, waiting patiently with its phone in its hand, some idle game lighting up the screen, and basically being the only light emission in the dark streets.

It wasn't long before there was a pair of footsteps nearing it. Paulie's vampire instincts shot to the front, immediately--victim, victim, victim--but it pushed them down just enough to be able to act normal and not look like some red-eyed freak to the unsuspecting pedestrian... even if that was just a little bit tempting after the monotony of the day.

Then, there were two sets of footsteps.

"Hey, man, everything okay? It's kind of late." A flashlight shone over at him. The pedestrian walked on by, not even glancing at the scene of a police officer and some guy on a bench.

Paulie shielded his eyes against the light and kept his other hand in view with his phone clutched tightly.

"All good, officer," he assured, but the cop didn't leave.

"Do you need anything? A ride home? Bad streets to be hanging out on, people go missing here."

Oh, and here Paulie thought cops were oblivious.

"No, my car's not far, and neither is my work. Just resting before my shift, actually." A bold-faced lie, but one that should get the officer off his back.

"Ugh. Well, the only place I know is open is that creepy old facility and I still can't believe that place hasn't been shut down. You'd better get going, then. Even if you can handle that job, you don't look like you could hold your own against a bigger man--"

Paulie stood with a smile and took a very quick step forward, one that surprised even the officer with the speed. "Oh, I may not look like much, but I assure you, I'm not the one who gets attacked."

Before he knew it, the light of the flashlight was out and the cop was under his teeth, the bitter taste of metal coating Paulie's tongue.

He supposed he knew instincts didn't care whether the person he was attacking was someone of status that could link the crime back to him in a worse way than stealing blood bags from IRIS, but alongside the part that was satisfied with his meal, there was another one that was just a little afraid, and kind of wanted to put the man out of his misery.

Maybe he refrained, maybe he didn't. All he knew was that he woke up at home later that same night.

#grey does writing #camera wtchr p #vampire paulie #irisona #irisona monster au

[chubbyheadquarters]

Hey.

I know it's been a really long time since I've posted anything.

And the reason? Multiple unfortunately.

The first was family issues. I won't go into details, but with all sorts of problems coming up, along with financial issues, I couldn't dedicate time to writing/responding. Hopefully, with the issues being resolved things can be more peaceful.

The second reason being my mental health. The end of last year hit me really hard with multiple things happening, so I had to take more time away. I was just having a hard time...stabilizing? But after some time, I think I'm in a better place now.

The third was a getting ill. This year hasn't started off well, with me getting punched with sickness to the full, and I've been trying to recover as fast as I can, taking medicine and such, getting sleep, etc. I...was also fucked with bppv, or vertigo for short. It stuck around for WAY longer than expected, and I couldn't exactly do much without almost falling over every hour. Thankfully though, I think it's safe to say that it's gone now & I'm doing a hell of a lot better than before, so that's great. Still, I'm gonna take it easy since my poor brain is a pile of mush.

And the last one being anticlimactic-

I just had major writing block.

When I had free time, I came here and to other platforms to try and find inspiration. Hoping something could help get me back into the groove.

I still did a bit of writing here and there, trying to get some of the requests semi-done or done, some of which I did, but others-

I couldn't write anything.

Nothing really felt good enough to post. I like writing, and I want the requester to be happy with what they get. But with the way my mind works, I hold myself to a really high standard, with me trying to make everything absolutely perfect(grammar and sentence structure wise) or add details that the reader may not care about, trying to add words and write in a way that isn't "me", per say. I'm scared that people may not like what I put out and my anxiety does not help one bit.

I've been trying to not be as hard on myself as I usually am, and it's...a work in progress. But it's a bit better now. I know I'm not gonna get everything right, whether it be the grammar or the way I word things, so I always try to keep that in mind.

But I've also been trying to improve my writing for another reason.

Like I stated before, with financial issues hitting me and my mom, I'm gonna need some way to help out some more. So I've been thinking about setting up a Kofi and seeing if there are any other ways to earn money from writing/drawing. It'll be more of an optional thing, but it's one I'm putting up on my platforms. And there will be an exchange for donations, like writing a one shot or having a sketch drawn for a small donation. I haven't quite figured everything out yet, price wise and all, but hopefully I will soon.

To those who have requested, I'm very sorry for the extremely late responses. I'm sure some people have moved on, and that's totally fine! I'll still get them out as soon as I can.

I hope this explains my sudden disappearance and I once again apologize to everyone. Hopefully I'll be back for good and get my full mojo back.

#author speaking #author notes #serious talk

[thefactsofthematter]

more dance studio au details under the cut bc i woke up too early this morning and wrote bc i couldn’t fall asleep again, and have now organized those half-asleep thoughts

- they’re all on the teaching team at a big commercial dance studio, which has tons of drop in classes but also a competitive team!

- jack teaches hip hop — the boy can GROOVE, and he’s known for sharp, hard-hitting choreo and the funnest class you’ll ever take. this is the vibe. as a teenager, he was a proper b-boy, but after a wrist injury he had to give up breaking and shift his focus to commercial hip hop. he can still dance like crazy but doesn’t perform much anymore, so it’s a treat when you get to watch him demonstrate in class (or even better, when you show up to someone else’s class and he’s dancing along in the back row).

- davey teaches ballet. of course he does. he’s a little intimidating at first, because his classes are pretty intense and serious, but he’s actually a total sweetheart who just wants to help you improve and learn. he was in a professional company for a few years, but ultimately didn’t enjoy the atmosphere and realized he much prefers teaching. his classes range from baby ballet, to adult recreational, to coaching the studio’s top teen dancers for major competitions. everyone knows his classes are hard as fuck, but so worth it because you always gain something from them

- race is the head coach for the most advanced comp teams, and he’s a definite jack of all trades. his signature is very difficult and intense jazz groups (very molly long style choreography) but he knows how to play to every individual dancer’s strengths when working on solos— he’ll give them anything from contemporary to tap to acro and everything in between, because he has a very well-rounded skill set from when he was a (very successful) competitive dancer himself. he still actively dances, but coaching his team of elite little prodigies is his number one focus.

- spot is race’s boyfriend who doesn’t have any dance experience but has totally immersed himself in the community at the studio. he drops into open classes sometimes just to try it (usually when jack is teaching) but mostly is just a steady presence as he pops in to drop off coffee and whatnot for race every so often. the kids all think he’s incredibly cool, and he’s not exactly sure what to do with the fact that he has a little fan club made up primarily of 8-12 year old girls, but he honestly can’t complain.

- kath teaches theatrical jazz, heels, ballroom/latin, and all that kind of stuff! she looooves some good sexy choreo and especially loves when people who wouldn’t usually move like that step out of their comfort zones to try it— most of her classes are adult recreational drop-ins for that reason. she’s all about building confidence and just has the BEST vibes

- medda is the company director and crutchie is her admin assistant (he danced growing up but his MS started getting worse as he got older so he’s officially retired now, he sometimes substitute teaches different classes). these two make the whole operation run, and it’s no easy task! there’s a solid week at the end of every summer where it’s dangerous territory to even talk to crutchie, because he’s so stressed about building the class schedule for the upcoming season that he could snap at any moment. he can normally be found at the front desk with a smile on his face, though! medda is usually either in her office or in one of the studios, teaching technique classes to the competition teams or just observing while the other teachers work— she started coaching race when he was a toddler so she thinks it’s fun to watch him and see how he’s grown <3

- anyways!! that’s a nice little dump of all the thoughts on my mind at the moment,, i have some plot ideas ready so i may or may not end up writing something! we shall see, folks.

#this is so incredibly self indulgent it’s not even funny #but listen. i do what i want with my blorbos and this is exactly what i want #dance au

[inkykeiji]

How long does it take for you to write fics? I feel like you’ve been posting lots recently so I was curious! Do you have a long editing and revision process?

hi hi! ah okay so how long it takes me to write a single fic varies widely! it depends on the fic, the length, how complex the idea is (ie is it a drabble or a oneshot or is it a longer piece or a part of a series), how deep in a hyperfixation i am (ie tokrev is all my mind wants to think about right now so it’s easier to bang out tiny pieces for them atm), how busy and how stressed i am with other life things, how badly my ocpd is acting up, etc etc etc the list goes on forever.

i have been posting a lot lately and i’m really proud of myself for it!! i’ve been trying so hard to get back into releasing pieces the way i used to, and this year at least i seem to get into a groove of consistently releasing stuff and then something in my life happens and i fall off of it again :/ but i’m trying so so hard to become more consistent again. additionally, the tokrev pieces have been an effort to combat my ocpd, so i’ve been challenging myself to release them even though they aren’t perfect and to NOT obsessively comb through them for days/weeks/months on end. the touya-nii piece i just released has actually been 90% done since the end of AUGUST lmao :/ i have a lot of pieces like that just rotting away in my docs ._. i really miss being about to write something i was proud of and happy with in a day, and i really miss being able to just write something and not obsessively go through it over and over and over and over again to ‘make sure every word is as perfect as it can be’ so i’m working extremely hard to get back to that place.

ocpd aside, the length of my editing process also varies widely completely depending on the piece!! sometimes a piece only needs a quick glance and sometimes i need to rework a part or scene several times before it feels right. i discuss my editing process in sightly more detail right here! <3

#thanks for ur question n i hope this helps! <3 #my june prompts were ALSO an effort to try and combat my ocpd #which i was doing well with but then a life event happened and i fell off with those too :/ #but i’m trying my best! i know i’ll get back to that place eventually #my perfectionism has always been horrible but ocpd really reared its ugly fuckin head with this blog #the more important this blog became to me the worse my ocpd around it became #but anyway i’m in treatment and i’m doing all i can #sorry this post kinda turned into a small rant act ocpd HAHA #hope ur doing well anon! have a great week <3 #inky.bb #clari gets mail

[kj-bishop]

Here’s trouble: moving the knee changed the shape of the leg and unearthed armature, giving two choices -- leave it, and fix that area for each piece in the edition, or do something about it now.

The armature was right where a defining line of the leg needed to go, so I decided to get it out of the way now rather than have to correct the shape several times over. I measured the distances from the foot to the base and the back of the calf to the coat, chilled the model in the fridge to harden it and minimise damage, then carefully removed the material from that spot and carved out grooves for the wire to move back into. I tried removing just half of the trouble spot but it wasn’t going to work, so I removed it all to leave the wire bare.

After chilling the model again I bent the wire back with small pliers (easy to do at the top, a bit more wrangling at the bottom), replaced the cut-out section, returned the leg to its original position as measured, tidied it up, and breathed a sigh of relief. I seem to have got away with it.

Obviously it’s a good idea to keep armature well under the surface of a model, but with thin pieces it can be difficult. I could have cut the wire right out and pinned the leg with a skewer or something, but I wanted to keep the model as robust as possible.

I could also have just reworked the leg without the cut and replace business, and maybe should have since there was no carefully finished shape or detail to try and save, but whatever, I did it this way!

#kj bishop #sculpture #wip #hare #rabbit people #troubleshooting

[substituted-shinigami]

“Quick” Blog/Writing/Art Update: May/June 2023

Hello everyone! Thank you for your patience! Sorry, it’s been awhile, but I do hope to be back soon! I’ve had a good long rest from the stresses of social media (I wish I could also say life as well, but I’ve learned it does what it wants!), and I hope to be at least semi active again by the time Bleach is back in early July! Thanks again for your patience! 🥰

Now unfortunately when I say semi-active, I really do mean semi-active. I won’t go into detail about my real life stuff, but it causes me enough stress that I’ve realized I can’t deal with it and social media stress at the same time. So I probably won’t be on here as often, and will be posting even less, but I want you all to know that I still love all y’alls stuff and will look at it when I can! I took a peek just recently to try and get back into the groove (the app has really changed in the last few months, huh?) and saw you all were talking about Soul Society Trains awhile back, and I’m so sorry I missed it because OMIGOSH DO I WANT IT TO BE CANON! Like can you imagine if Squad 12 designed one?! It would be a horror show, with a bunch of little feet and eyes and horns and UGH! Or maybe, due to how Soul Society is layed out, it’s a subway instead! Maybe it's an immortal mole creature that travels underground on some well known migratory route, and if you’re knowledgeable and crazy enough, you can just grab its fur and hold on tight to get where you need to go faster! Where was I going with this? Oh, right! You all are great, and I hope to read more of your ideas, and headcanons, and other stuff whenever I’m able!

What else…oh yes, posting content. So you know how I was talking about social media stress? Yeah, posting causes a lot of that. Creating though, causes less of that though, sometimes even decreases it. Like I literally sleep better if I write fanfiction before bed (sad, I know, but hear me out). So what’s the solution? Well, I could just never post, but I like sharing with others too! So what I’ve decided to do instead is post in seasons kind of like a tv show! I’ll work on fanfiction/fanart throughout the year, and then once October hits, I’ll post whatever I finish on a sort of schedule, like every Saturday or something. That way, I won’t feel stressed to get something out every month and I can work on multiple stories at the same time (which is my preferred way to write)! That said, since I won’t be online as much, I may be pretty slow in answering messages/questions/comments/etc, so I want to apologize in advance. Know that I still love and appreciate all of you, and will get back when I can! 

Hmmm…Any last details? Oh yes, fanart and Bloodlines. I’m gonna be honest, y’all, fanart has been slow coming. I wanted to do more fan comics, but I haven’t had a lot of inspiration or motivation lately. I unfortunately might have to save that idea for next year, but if I do, I do have a back up plan that I think you all will like, so hopefully that works out. But for now, we’ll just have to wait and see!

Bloodlines…will be out…this year…or so help me, I’ll- *cough* Anyway, work on it has been going steadily, which should make me happy, but for some reason has got me extremely nervous. Like, is it going steadily because it’s close to finishing? Or is it going steadily because I missed a major flaw? Like will I be about to post it and realize I need to REWRITE THE ENTIRE THING! These thoughts plague me. Current improvements! I’ve learned what chapter hooks are and have implemented them to make the beginnings more interesting! Also, while I think Bloodlines is still a good “series” title, it is no longer a good title for the piece. The new working title is “Learning to Breathe”. I think that better encapsulates the story I’m trying to tell! Current worries! Is the climax “climaxy” enough? Does the build up pay off in the end? Do the dramatic moments make sense? DO I NEED TO REWRITE THE ENTIRE THING??? 

Anyway, I think that is finally, actually it! If you made it to the end, that’s pretty amazing of you! One day, I’ll learn to summarize my thoughts better, but today is not that day! See you all in July when Bleach comes back! I’m so hyped!

#blog update #writing update #art update #june 2023

[namelessarcher]

Hello! Hope you are doing well! Can I request hcs for how Arjuna will react to his s/o trying to spoil him because she loves him very much? Like how she goes out of her way to make Indian food for him and such?

I’m okay! I haven’t been writing as much as I wanted to due to a lot of personal life stuff that came up. I tried writing a lot while I was gone, but I was unsatisfied with everything that I was making so I just kind of took a break from writing headcanons for FGO. I just never felt satisfied or happy. But I’m doing better now and am hoping to slowly get back into the groove of writing again. I don’t know if I’ll ever open the request box since I’m not writing daily, but we’ll see! - mod Jenn

Arjuna really doesn’t handle praises or actions of love very well. You would think he does considering how he goes out of his way to make your life better, but perhaps it’s because he is so caught up in atoning for things that he has done wrong or trying to better himself that he forgets that he’s allowed to experience happiness while in the moment.

Yet despite his awkwardness when receiving your affections, there is no doubt that deep in his heart he is on cloud nine. He loves how much attention you give him. He loves how you’re always thinking of him and how you’ve internalized every single detail about him. It flusters him and makes him strive to do even better as both your Servant and your significant other.

It’s known by everyone in Chaldea that if Arjuna is doing exceptionally well in a simulation or training, that usually means that he’s been spoiled and pampered to the point where he wants to do his absolute best for you. There are moments where he gets way too enthusiastic and ends up going a tad bit overboard, but it’s endearing to watch (for you) and amusing for the others. It’s especially fun for certain Servants to see Arjuna acting as though he isn’t affected by your actions when in reality that’s all that’s running through his mind - you.

When Arjuna first started sharing his favorite foods that he missed having, he’ll be honest with you, he didn’t expect you to go out of your way to learn it. Now, he should have known when you first asked that you were up to something to pamper him yet again. He should have known, yet how could he suspect you of anything when you had asked him so innocently and so casually. It was so casually brought into the conversation that he had no idea that you were going to use the knowledge of his favorite foods and activities to surprise him. You were always doing so much for him and always working so hard on making him feel like he is loved and wanted and he just wants to do everything in his power to make you happy in return.

He truly appreciates you and loves you, and while he knows that he tends to get so flustered that he denies that you’re doing things he likes - especially in public - he does try to reciprocate everything that you’ve given to him back to you. He’s awkward about it, but you know he means well. He’ll ask Mash about your favorite foods, he’ll even consult Emiya or Tamamo Cat for cooking advice to make it, but every time he’ll hand it to you, he’ll make some excuse about how he made too much. Or maybe he heard that you liked this kind of stuff in passing when the others were making it, but he’ll never admit that he was the one that made it.

But you knew. Even if he didn’t say it. Even if no one else ratted him out, you knew that Arjuna was doing his best to give back to you after all that you’ve given to him. You find it incredibly adorable whenever he tries to subtly spoil you without outright saying that he’s spoiling you, and it’s because of his shy and endearing way of showing affection that makes you want to spoil him even more.

#mod jenn #fate grand order #fgo #headcanons #arjuna

[parcequecestnotreprojeeeet]

Hi. It’s me again. Fanfic Anon #2. First, thank you EMT for your kind words. ❤️ You and your blog are such a happy and safe space. I really appreciate everything you do (as I’m sure everyone else on here does too). Also very sorry if I triggered something. I should have put a better warning on the last piece.

So with that in mind: here is the first time request. This is a little spicier than what I normally write, fair warning. I also want to say, I wrote this based on both of them repeatedly saying nothing happened before he was 18. So that’s my understanding as I write this. Hope everyone who was excited for this piece likes it.

He had been waiting for this moment for years, dreaming about it, fantasizing about it. And so far, it has exceeded all his wildest expectations, seeing her laid out underneath him like this for the first time. He was more than a little proud of the impact he was having on her, taking pleasure in the way her eyes were darkened in desire, her chest flushed and heaving, lips parted and swollen as she moaned and whimpered under his attention (sounds he knew he would be trying to coax from her for the rest of his life).

He had planned this weekend out down to every small detail. He wanted it to be perfect. He wanted this moment to match the fairytale magic their story has been so far. And, coming at this with a lack of prior experience, he felt he needed to compensate.

She was acutely aware of this, of his potential insecurities. It was why she kept checking in with him as they went, a soft, “is this okay?” as she trailed kisses down his sternum in the wake of the buttons she was undoing as she removed his shirt, a “tell me if you need a minute” as she helped him remove her bra.

“Hey, hey, hey,” she said gently, trying to call him back to her, to the present moment as she could see him withdraw as he was getting ready to remove their final items of clothing. “What’s wrong?”

“What if I’m no good at this? What if I hurt you? What if you don’t enjoy it?”

She smiled at him, as sweetly, reassuringly, lovingly as she could manage. “First of all, you’re not going to hurt me. You could never hurt me. I’ve never felt safer than when I’m with you, when I’m in your arms.

“Secondly, I get that you’re nervous. I am too. This is a big deal, for both of us. But, do you know why I call you mon cœur?”

“No.”

“Because you are my heart. This right here,” she said as she’s grabbed his hand to lay it over the bare skin that covered the organ, pressing his hand gently into her flesh so he could feel it beating, “that is yours. You are my life, my essential, my non-negotiable, my other half, my soulmate.

“So I am going to enjoy this, I’m going to love being with you in this way no matter the ‘ending.’ And if it takes some time for us to figure out our perfect groove, well, they say that practice makes perfect, and I certainly will not complain about practicing with you. In fact, I’m rather looking forward to it.

“But I also want you to know there is never any pressure to do anything. If you want to stop here for tonight, we can do that. We have every day for the rest of our lives, it doesn’t have to be tonight, even if you have worked so hard to plan this, chéri.”

“I know,” he replied, leaning down to kiss her throughly, anchoring himself again in her, in this moment. “I want to. I have wanted you for so long.”

“Then come and take me,” she teased, batting her eyelashes up at him as she trailed her hands down his back to squeeze his ass meaningfully.

He groaned at that before pressing himself tightly on top of her, slotting himself between her legs and getting himself into position.

“I love you,” he said as he slowly entered her for the first time, overwhelmed by how right it felt to finally be one with her.

Afterwards, he couldn’t stop beaming even as he fought to get his breath and heart beat under control, under the gentle pressure of her hand where it lay on his chest as she too, snuggled into his side, tried to gently come back to reality.

“Are you okay?” She checked in one last time, herself blissfully happy.

“I’ve never been happier in my whole life.”

Hellooo fanfic Anon #2 ❤️ Hope you are feeling better today ❤️ Your words touch me deeply and I’m glad you feel that about me and my blog. Words like that keep me going on here, so thank you ❤️ About triggering something with the previous fanfic, don’t worry, everything is okay and it’s always an absolute pleasure to read you and a delight with the way you write! I saw your message earlier but I was at work and wanted to get home to give it my attention, the full attention it deserves! I confess I was curious to see how you would write about their first time and my dear, you just absolutely delivered it once again. The softness, the pure love and, especially Emmanuel’s doubts/fears and Brigitte reassuring him... that’s exactly how I imagined it too. He may be a Lion now, as we already joked in here, but he definitely started has a baby Lion hahaha. Thank you so much again! I feel like I’m always repeating myself but I’m really thankful for you and your fanfics ❤️

(Hope you didn’t feel too uncomfortable to write something a little spicier than what you normally write!)

Any idea for the next one? 😛😏

#fanfic #fanfic anon 2