#i want to explain more but i cant rn so this is it

[weallpartyatybcpatricksfuneral]

Cryptozoology by patrick stump is so Ford coded it's insane.

Personally I think the song is about Fords struggles with impressing his father

#i want to explain more but i cant rn so this is it #gravity falls #stanford pines #ford pines #also i have the headcanon that ford struggles with alcohol addiction so the song that comes before Cryptozoology which is - #- Run Dry (X heart X Fingers) #so theres that

[norrisgrl]

IM SORRY BUT I NEVER SAW THIS UNTIL NOW?!!!?

#f1 #lando norris #formula 1 #ln4 #that is it #i am losing it istg #he cant just do that and expect me to act normal abt ut #oh god oh fuck #his neck looks so big #i need to bite it immediately #he'd look so good w marks all over it😮‍💨 #his hands too omfg #i want to suck on his fingers sm #his hand on my neck would look perfect🤭 #this is making me feel so many things i cant explain #on my knees rn #w the helmet on too😮‍💨 that adds something more #the veins too😮‍💨 #i am so down bad for this man #i need him🫠 #🌸 angie talks

[toastsnaffler]

okay can we have a new rule that if you're my friend and know I struggle with rsd from adhd + you're planning on hanging out with mutual friends but specifically aren't inviting me for whatever reason. Maybe Don't Tell Me About It

#id just rather not know man. even if I cant go or dont particularly want to im going to get stung by it and it rly sucks #its a TON of extra effort i have to put in to emotionally navigate that information without overreacting and making it an issue #wait actually maybe i do need to sit down with her and explain this more explicitly. bc she probably doesnt rly know abt it #even tho ive mentioned it shes rly terrible at reading ppl and i probably dont let on much abt it anyway bc im used to dealing w it #ugh. but also its rly embarrassing to talk abt and ill have to tread so carefully to make sure it doesnt get misinterpreted. hmm #but itd be worth it if she stopped so. ill give it some thought #it makes me feel so unreal sometimes bc i cant always tell if im justifiably upset or if im 'just overreacting' so i assume the latter- #most of the time to give myself space to work thru the emotion and minimise the damage i might cause if i AM just overreacting #but then sometimes later on i realise that it was justified but its too late to bring it back up and anyway ive worked through it #and idk. theres smth self disrespectful abt it all im tired of making space all the time and never taking any up myself #im not THAT upset rn like this is a v minor thing but still. might be time to start nipping this stuff in the bud #aaanyway #im procrastinating eating bc i cooked a nice meal but now im not in the mood to eat it 😭😭 but i gotta fuel up..... #ill find smth to watch hopefully thatll do the trick #yawns so loud bye for now #.diaries

[swaggy-transfag]

Thought of making a post abt my struggles with communicating and getting my thoughts out in words. But then i was struggling too much abt how to word it so it made sense, so i gave up

#it can be so so tiring to try to squish my thoughts into words sometimes #it just doesnt feel natural and it never represents them good enough #everyday i wish for somekind of mindreading so others could just get what i was thinking #but instead i have to struggle everyday to not even do my thoughts justice #its so frustrating to just sit and try to get something out #often my mind just blanks and i cant grasp any words #its so humiliating bc ppl just assume im kinda dumb or stmh and i cant even prove them wrong cuz i cant translate my thoughts properly #i wanna tell ppl abt my struggles so they can understand #and also so they dont make fun of me anymore for it #but then i have to get the courage and also be able to explain it properly #aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa #its so weird i can usually get my point across (like rn) but it doesnt really feel like my words #talking for me mostly feels like clipping out a newspaper and then assemble all the usefull words k could find into what i want #i really really wanna try to unmask more #and just own the fact that im actually disabled #okay now im just rambling i think #point is im frustrated and sad that mindreading isnt possible

[todayisafridaynight]

Which characters would you say represent each of the 7 deadly sins the best?

lust - nishitani

gluttony - n/a ????

greed - aoki

pride - ryuji

envy - nishiki

wrath - sawashiro

sloth - akiyama

#snap chats #i cant think straight so yeah im half assing these rn SORRY #for gluttony i mean. ig shimano idk bro can pound down fugu like it fckin nothing #tbh wrath can really easily apply to nishiki too and i'd say he represents it more than sawashiro lowkey Maybe #but i didnt wanna put nishiki TWICE on The Ultimate Sinner list LMAO #i wouldnt put mine down for greed or wrath since mine doesn't really want or desire money or property or power #he just knows those things help him 'make connections' so if he was a sin he'd fall more in line with lust #but not even that ?? because he does want genuine connections #i wouldn't really class him as wrath either since he has a really long temper yk it takes a bit to make him angry #and he usually tries to resolves thing nonviolently if he can help it #legally had to put akiyama as sloth SORRY he is one helluva sleepy boy goddamn #i dont have to explain ryuji and aoki and nishitani right ? yeah i think we all know

[hella1975]

mirio and hado got given a chance to cause utter chaos against 1a and did NOT hesitate

#amajiki just fucking WALKED OFF im obsessed with him #mirio falling off that bridge killed me #'uh oh! i got washed away again!' THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE NEXT SYMBOL? REALLY? #nvm he's pissing off mineta A WIN IS A WIN #i know they're having so much fun rn my girl hado is slaying. i love her dub voice it scratches an itch in my brain idk i cant explain it #amajiki isn't having fun but he's in public so that was never gonna happen #deku taking it super seriously as the music gets more intense: WHAT DO YOU WANT VILLAIN >:( #amajiki with the music cutting out: to go home :( #LAFJKSADHGSKJDHG #mha #mha spoilers #hella watches anime

[beebundt]

i have. 35 attacks left. to revenge. ive gotten like. 15 out of 45 or smth i dont remembor the number

i naur realistically i dont have to revenge them all but also. i really really do love and appreciate the arts wahhhh. i want to hang all of them on my wall to look at forever. and i def want everyone to know i appreciate and that every art is rlly meaningful to me 🥺

#me looking at friends whoeve warned me ahead of time 🫣 #dont get me wrong its so fun but also im trying not to burn myself out so im taking it slow WAHHH #my goal rn is focus on mutuals and friends. then the rest #im motivated fr though. i just dont want get art block and get tired halfway thru by trying to rush thru everything #i shall do what i. can. i am excited though #bee buzzes #also i cant even explain the overwhelming inspiration seeing my characters in dif styles and takes has on me ??? #i licherally want to draw all of them immediately. like this is the biggest motivator ever its insane #like me taking breaks from artfight by doing some enako stuff. and tbh i think its really great. ive been messing more with backgrounds #and environments and etc etc #i think its perhaps been the best ive been in a long time? experimentally too. and im having fun! i feel less... stuck and so s unmotivated #and the best part is that its all been really fun. geniunely. if anything im proud of myself thinyear #this year i mean

[hyperfixated-homo]

First time ever drawing a turtle, i have NO IDEA what I'm doing. I'm pretty proud of how it turned out though :)

#tmnt #rottmnt #leo #leonardo #tmnt leo #tmnt leo fanart #holy god how do i tag for this fandom. um #hi im new here someone explain them to me aksdjaksjd #tw blood #shadow draws #art #okay imma ramble in the tags about drawing this rq. i have no clue how to draw in a comic style #like. this show (and most of the fanart for it) is pretty much entirely cell shading but my art style currently is very. painterly #so i had no idea how to color this #or even how to draw leo in the first place #but i was like. hey! just do your normal thing and see how it turns out! #and it was pretty okay actually! #i wanted to do a more dynamic pose but. hhhhhhh i cant draw anatomy rn for some reason #ill do something more fun. at some point #not gonna say 'later' bc i dont know how much later that will be exactly #still im happy with this one. leo is my BOY and i LOVE HIM #current obsession; this idiot #ok rant ova <3

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#ay ay ay. now that the soul crushing project is done ive elected to spend the week managing data #which is decidedly more chill than what ive been doing for the last month but also isnt not doing anything and it isnt getting stuff done #for when i have to move. so thats annoying. and ive been drawing again at least but i can feel the escalation in my controlling behavior #so its now very frustrating trying to draw anything. coloring is gonna take a million years rip. #also suddenly everyone wants to b social rn? like tomorrow my boss is organizing a thing with an old lab mate and this weekend a #collaborator is having a retirement party. and next week my lab mates wanna do a trivia night. and i kno that i should go to these things. #and i will try but i really dont want to go to any of it. mostly for driving reasons but also im a husk of a person rn. but the more #devastating thing is that uh next week one of the kids i grew up with is getting married to a rich girl lol. and like we werent that close #bc i was and am such an asocial freak but after the wedding my parents r picking up their new camper and camping their way across the #country with my sisters. and im sure someone probably told me the dates of these things at some point but if u tell me dates i will #instantly forget them. so thats. ya kno. happening over basically the next 2 weeks while i have to kill myself over measurements for a #different study i dont care abt. and like. its fine. ill see them mid may for a different planned trip. it just makes me kinda sad #a product of living halfway across the country i guess. im just inherently more disconnected to everyone. i would suspect thsts semi #intentional subconsciously. u cant b upset abt not being able to connect with ppl if you create enough physical distance that u never see #them in the 1st place. u cant misunderstand me if i make myself absent and unknowable. idk. i was explaining to my mum that i didnt realize #the timeline and she was like. understandable whatever u wanna do! and idk y that upsets me so much. i guess its just that i dont want to b #doing this. its causing me pain but dont kno how to articulate it in a way that makes sense. whatever. my mouth hurts. my lips r so chapped #that the irritation is spread past my lip line. probably doesnt help thst i keep rubbing at it lol. anyway things r still annoying #less soul crushing thsn last week but still frustrating #unrelated

[doodlesolar]

#word vomit #rant #I HATE ADS #FUCK THIS SITE #not really im just. so tired of the internet rn #i dont want to see ads anymore im about to lose it #i see an ad and i just feel like crying right now i cant explain it #was there a time before ads? #im so sick of this stupid society #no more ads #the next ad i see. i will sob #is this anxiety or something what is this #go di hate ads som uchdsknkfd njknfskdn nkd jkfnsd help i hATE THEM BACK BARK BARK I HAT EHTHEM

[toytulini]

everyone gotta be fuckin around tryin to do ai now im so fucking tired. shut up stop it. i wish i was a worm. if microsoft or discord tries to tell me one more fucking thing about ai im going to combust

#toy txt post #NOT looking to argue about this #its not even that i think ai is inherently evil like i know its just a tool #but like rn if ai is a hammer. every company that exists feels like its trying to smash the house apart cos they just got this shiny new #hammer and they wanna hit things with it without bothering to stop and think hey maybe some things shouldnt get hit with a hammer? #im tired and i hate it here #i dont want to chat with a fucking bot that is going to lie to me i dont want ai search engines i dont want ai art #ai art makes me so fucking TIRED bro like it legit makes me less likely to reblog art or interact w it cos i cant tell #and i hate not being able to tell. and like not bc oh a robot made it and so it doesnt have soul. or whatever #it does feel fucking. hollow to me to realize smth is an ai image but i think its bc of the. knowledge of the art theft to make that #i cant even explain how i hate it it just feels fucking deceptive and gross and i fucking hate it. i know its just a tool i dont think the #ai itself is evil i think its like siri and alexa and that it is being used and created evilly via data and art it didnt get consent to use #i think the ppl creating it rn are not being ethical. i know other things we currently have are also not ethical. but is that a good reason #to just. create more unethical things? #and i especially hate seeing exactly how this is gonna go bc that post awhile ago. pointing out how translation automation was bad i think #explained it well #like on an individual scale i dont actually think its the end of the fucking world if you were to use ai art to get an image of your oc #that you dont have the artistic skill to create or money to commission like if your only purpose is to idk use it as a fucking blog icon #or tape a picture of it to your wall or use it as your desktop background like i dont actually Care that much. #like ideally the datasets wouldnt be chock full of stolen art to create that but i think ultimately someone just making #a phone lockscreen for themselves isnt the end of the world #or like idk a fucking meme? whatever. thats not a huge deal imo. like if youre an artist whos art was heavily sampled and it replicated #your specific style? i think that is pretty shitty. that understandably fuckin stings i bet especially if you werent ever #asked or anything. the issues start to arise when ppl use it for like #book covers that they publish. when p start selling shit. when corporations and companies and businesses are like #well why should we bother to contract or hire or commision and artist or graphic designer when we can just use ai. thats some bullshit #its going to be used to fuck over artists more #and already starting. its become just another tool for capitalism to fuck over artists. and truly thats a career #that we havent disrespected enough/s. anyway theres some disorganized ai thoughts. feel free to keep any comments to yourself im very tired #i think they should go back to letting the computers make nightmare melty shit. at least that was interesting

[astrxealis]

40 mil is the highest points i've had for gw ever tbh so i am proud of myself so far <3 also !! almost rank 175 >;D

anyways hi just small update/rambles uhm. i've been more productive w school but also school ew !!! and 6.3 is so fucking soon holy shit i am not ready at all & i hope this week i can finally start omori and/or p4g <33

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚ #still obsessed w p5. ALSO mcr music is so slay AND uh yeah that's mostly it. rlly obsessed w buncha kinds of rock music rn #i looooove rock <3 rock and orchestra are my favorite genres (i'm kinda into all kinds of music tho fr!) hehe <33 #i love my fire team now tbh. like. nemone & athena together is perfect imo and i'm glad i realized that a long time ago already #but woa me w having both michael and percival is absolutely amazing hehe #arghhhhhhh ... i wna play nier vv badly but i need to wait for lune yeah ? but anyways in reincarnation i have all the automata characters #which i'm vv glad about >;)) 9s refused to come home months ago but now he has and heheheheh i love him #tbh it's so hard to manage my time now bcs on saturdays i'm busy and then sundays should be my rest but we often go out as rest ?? #and i like it but also my gaming time and writing time and whatever time is lowkey a big Rest In Peace <//3 #I LOV MY FRIENDS but i haven't properly talked to. quite literally ANYONE for a bit now i'm so sorry #unless they approach me first somewhere that isnt social media of any sort or i've seen them irl bcs of school or yk my family or class #ive fixed my sched quite a lot but also there's still a lot to improve !! by the end of january i hope that i'm happy w my sched then <3 #okay small update OVER !! today was a pretty good day so far tbh uh. like bad shit happened but strangely i'm all okay !! <33 #like uhh ive been a bit more active in class and actually reciting more! i am usually vv shy and only just comment my answers if ever #BUT YEAH !!! and there was smth that was supposed to happen and my class forgot so i reminded them. and we're like 30 in class #okay rambles OVER !! im anxious still to open my notifs sorry i cant explain why bcs idk how but yeah. uh. if you want to contact me #for anything IDK HOW YOU SHOULD TBH. SORRY. but yeah !!! probably ask for my sideblog for mutuals ?? #but tbh i havent checked that in a bit too and just ramble sometimes. SORRY......

[caruliaa]

in the alterante universe were s3+4 of cs are good im making a carmen yoyok amv right now

#not explaining this. idek if i want to #it makes sense only to me. in a way only i can understand #okay. two things i will say: 1. the first verse of yoyok isnt abt the boy u like rejecting you its about loosing what you thought would #define you whole life at the time and the second one isnt about having specifically being a singer be an innacseseable but in general #whatever you seen next/whatever will help you escape from that being/feeling impossible to get to #and 2. babes i need u to understand i talk abt relating to julia a lot but also. carmen is also just me imo in many ways okayy!! #okay not explaining more than that. or maybe i will who knows. maybe later. #actually i mgiht still make it. actually no i wont bc even in that universe the song makes me cry making an amv to it wld be too hard #anyway. i hope u r both picking up on important peaches lore here and also not judging me. im posting at nearly 3am i cant b judged #for what i say rn okay !!!!!!!!!!!!!! #flappy rambles #im aware this does no make any sesne 2 anyone else but also im the only cs fan left so therefore it doesnt matter. love and light<3

[tsscat]

You guys need to stop fearmongering about AI like this. like AI and surveillance is a real thing, yeah. But this is likely something to make a more sophisticated search engine for twitter. I still wouldn't answer it bc it could also be related to enhancing a targeting algorithm of some sort (although I don't know the context for this, it also very well might not be).

But just to address a larger theme I've seen in this post (did not screenshot the whole of it as it is too long): there is no One Grand AI. There is no single neural net spanning throughout the deep web or sinister AI conglomerate trying to become as human-like as possible and plotting something sinister like some supervillain. There are many, many individual AI technologies, some corporate, and some not. These technologies are much much more disjointed and separate than this post seems to imply.

There is certainly a lot to be worried about AI and surveillance. The most evil things that can come out of AI tech comes from a place of profitability. Often, corporations will acquire data to train their technologies through shady means. For example, Apple was revealed to keep recordings from iphones, many of private/intimate moments, in order to train Siri's AI. (Note, this is why you should always turn off "Hey Siri" on your iphone, or even disable Siri entirely). However, at the end of the day, corporations have these shady practices in order to profit; they do it to make their product more profitable, not serve some grand shady AI or even further AI research.

And frankly, if the goal was to make an AI understand indirect speech, you do not need to be this convoluted. I promise you technology like this already exists, because it so easy to get a bunch of interns to generate data of indirect speech for you. There are even people who dedicate themselves to generating specific corpuses for this purpose.

Stop looking at AI as some sci-fi esque villain and start thinking smartly about its risks. I would say a major point of AI surveillance lies not necessarily in language AI, but in the increasing use of facial recognition by the US government. Another danger is how AI is over-applied to automate decisions that should not be automated, and wrongly viewed as an unbiased agent. There's a whole field out there on the ethics of AI. But AI development right now is chaotic and all over the place and done by many different agents with different motivations, goals, and directions. It is unproductive to view or present it as a single shady omniscient entity, and will make a lot of people paranoid about something that isn't there while completely missing the actual dangers present.

#not making this rebloggable bc I'm too rambly and I dont think ive explained this well enough to be spread #if someone wants a cleaner post or wants something to be clarified let me know #some other stuff I didnt say up there: #1) language AI (AI that is trained to parse and generate language) is *not necessarily* synonymous with human intelligence #(what I mean is human-like intelligence). idk thats a whole discussion really but the thing is often language AI is just very good at #bullshitting you. so just food for thought #i can talk more about that if you want me to too #2) Also dont want to imply that language AI *cant* be used for surveillance like it definitely can. I just feel like people sometimes #forget about the other stuff that exists that there thats definitely in use rn #anyways yeah #tara talks

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

I feel like I need to drop all commitments, move across the country and try again.

Two years ago, in the hell that was 2020, I was supposed to go to college. I was supposed to go to my dream college for a major I was passionate about. It was only an hour from a friend I really really loved, who lived ten hours from me before that. I was about to be so close to her, to live my dream, to open the doors to my best life.

I took a weekend and did a college tour there in 2019. I stayed with that friend who was only an hour from the dream college. The second I stepped on campus, everything felt right. I felt like I belonged there. The library, the dorms, the grounds, it felt like home. I talked to the band and choir teacher about joining, she invited me to their production of Godspell in the spring that was going to include ASL interpreting students (my major). I saw my future and for once, it felt right.

Then in March 2020, I got an email. The college went bankrupt and was closing. Just months before I was supposed to be there.

And just like that, my plans, my life went out the window. I hadn't applied to any other colleges and now it was past most deadlines. I didn't want to go to a different college. I wanted that life back.

So, directionless, in June 2020 I moved two states away from my hometown, to live near my best friend. I didn't have a job, a car, an apartment, nothing. Just three boxes and some hope.

I met a potential roommate and toured the apartment the first day in the new state, and that day decided to move in. I ended up buying a sketchy minivan from my friend, and moved into my new apartment. Got a job and a couple of fish. But I didn't feel at home, it didn't feel right. It felt like I was living in someone else's apartment that I wasn't wanted in. Still, I was there for a year and a half.

Finally I got sick of it, I got impulsive, I moved states again. I applied for an apartment, got approved, put down a deposit, and six days later I packed my life into a UHaul and restarted. I got a different job, a different car because the first one only lasted about nine months, and now I was further from my best friend. But I was living alone and could make my own life.

I've lived here for eight months. I bought a dresser, I found a coffee shop that I like, the area is beautiful. Of all of the places I could've impulsively moved, this was a decent one. But I've had trouble settling in. I don't feel like I'm in the right place. I feel like this is just a placeholder, and I hate that.

I want to appreciate the life that I have right now. I live in a nice area, my best friend is only forty minutes from me, when three years ago he lived five hours away. I just got a promotion at my job. I count my blessings and I know I have so many, but I still feel like I'm in the wrong story.

And I know that that story passed me by. I'll never go to that college. The friend I was going to live near, we haven't talked since January 2020. I will never live the dream that I had and I know I need to get over it, but I feel like I'll be mourning it forever. And I always feel like I'm trying to chase it. Move to a new state, a new apartment, get a new job, maybe this time it'll feel right.

It doesn't feel right. I go to the coffee shop, I'm surrounded by people, I feel alone. I go to work, I'm surrounded by coworkers I've known for months, I feel like I don't know any of them. I go home, I'm surrounded by my belongings, it feels like this is just the storage unit where I keep myself.

I don't know what to do except run and hope that this time it'll feel right.

#so uh im not super okay rn #its fall. every fall since then has been difficult because i feel like i should be at college #i am truly mourning this life i shouldve had and thats such a strange feeling #mourning a person feels normal. its understandable. but mourning a life is so much harder to explain #i feel directionless. hopeless. trapped in a hell thats partially of my own creation #ive been thinking of moving across the country near my sibling. they keep trying to convince me to visit or move #im sincerely considering it. the way they talk about the city is amazing #huge lgbtq community. so many more opportunities. my sibling will be there and i love them a bunch #i know it wont replace the life that i want. nothing will #nothing will replace that life so i need to lay it to rest and make a new life instead of trying to recreate the other one #but right now that feels impossible and i just want to run away. away from everyone and everything i know and just reset #i know running away will solve nothing and i should try to create a life that i want here #its a good place to try #but it feels easier to run and keep running #i feel so lost snd hopeless and wish i had some sort of direction. if i had some direction. anything. that would make it better #but i wake up. go to work. go for a walk. watvh tv. make dinner #i should be more thankful! i have a job. money. food. a place to live. a best friend. a gf #and still i cant help but think of what i dont have which is such a shitty feeling #im exhausted with my current life. with how i feel. i want to try again

[conjuringghosts]

.

#feel like im gonna have a nervous breakdown and the list of things i need to do is so overwhelming its making me insane #and i physifally feel like smth is not right but i cant explain why so i dont think theres a point in telling my doctor about it and #both my cats are acting weird in a concerning way so thats more things for the list and the vet is always so expensive and my insurance #keeps denying the medicines that would help me be naybe a little functional and its so fucking hot in my house rn #and i hate that the sun is up so long i want night time!!!!!!!!!!!