Tumgik
#i want to bully her and punt her into the sun
cairngrom · 6 months
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i’ll post hnk as soon as i get the motivation to draw it again but for now all my little monkey brain wants to draw is them
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Top Ten Annoying Children in Choices
There are many children encountered throughout the Choices universe, some more palatable than others. Though they’re all arguably some degree of annoying, this list ranks the top ten of the most annoying children. At least, in my opinion, anyway. So sit back, relax, and read as a 21 year-old grad school student with real life responsibilities tears fictional children to shreds.
10. The Heir.
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The Heir is unique in that she’s the only directly customizable child on this list with six different sprites you can choose for her regardless of your own appearance. Throughout TRH and TRF, I can truthfully say I didn’t find anything endearing about her. Like, at all. It certainly didn’t help that PB wrote her like they write animals. But her personality did get slightly better as she aged as the books went on. The same cannot be said about her appearance, however. In fact, I’d say her appearance got worse as the books went on. The Heir as a baby looks perfectly fine. The Heir as a toddler looks like she’d infect me with COVID-19 by spitting a half-chewed chicken nugget into my coffee. And The Heir as a four year-old looks like she’d beat me unconscious with a cane and call me “whippersnapper”.
9. Daughter (MOTY).
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Our daughter in MOTY is actually the only child on this list with a genuinely good design. She looks genuinely cute, and that is high praise from someone who doesn’t think kids are cute. I was also sympathetic to her plight as she didn’t fit in well at school and found herself perpetually bullied. However, PB wrote her in such an obnoxious way that I just couldn’t help but be annoyed by her. She’s a gifted and incredibly smart child, but PB could’ve written her so, so much better. To me, she just came across as a slightly less obnoxious Brainy Smurf because of how badly her dialogue and writing were done.
8. Taari.
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Taari was a Nothing Character, plain and simple. He didn’t add anything to Endless Summer, and he didn’t appear much at all, which is why he’s not very high on the list. But my god. This kid had practically no sense of self-preservation and Seraxa constantly had to bail his ass out of danger and scold him for getting himself into it in the first place. Kinda like another kid who’s much, much higher on the list, but more on that later.
7. Camellia.
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Camellia didn’t appear much at all, but when she did, GOD was she annoying. She mostly appeared in RoE where she and Jiro were constant obstacles during Jess’s job as a tour guide, though she was much less of a brat than Jiro was.
6. Bartie.
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You knew going into this list that Bartie would appear here. You knew. Let me summarize it. Annoying family, hideous design as a baby, whiny as fuck, named after Barthelemy. Though interestingly enough, I’d say he and Bianca are the least detestable of the Walker family, which really says a lot.
5. Lula Jacobs.
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Kids have no place in horror stories unless they’re integral to the plot, as is the case with ILITW and THoBM. Lula serves absolutely no purpose in Bloodbound and isn’t even remotely endearing. In addition to her character adding nothing of substance to the story, our character is forced to care for her just because. Also? She’s fucking creepy, man.
4. Jiro.
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We’re reaching the really annoying ones now. Jiro, like Camellia, mainly appears in RoE as an obstacle during Jess’s job as a tour guide. Unlike Camellia, though, he is almost always the one who causes trouble. He whines, he tries to throw spitballs, he splashes Camellia on the boat ride, and is generally a nuisance during any of his appearances.
3. Augustus Blackwood.
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Augustus “August” Blackwood is Vanessa Blackwood’s insufferable, classist little shit of a son. He bullies the main character’s daughter and doesn’t have a pleasant bone in his body. As someone who was bullied myself, I wanted nothing more than for Luz Mendez to punt this little asshole into the sun. He would have been number #1 on this list if he’d appeared more and had a bigger role because I know my annoyance would’ve gone up if he had.
2. Isaac & Lyra Achilles.
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Yes. These are two kids. However, due to them being twins, ALWAYS appearing together, and having the exact same personalities, I’m ranking them as one entity. Anyway, these kids are spoiled rotten, uncouth, uncontrollable, arrogant, and remorseless. They are ungrateful little leeches and I was so happy to get rid of them. I cannot stand spoiled children. I hate them. I hate them. I hate them.
1. May.
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But Binglebonkus, why is May your number one over these spoiled, entitled little brats? Well, hypothetical person, I’m so glad you asked. While May’s personality is at least pleasant, she has ZERO self-preservation and the most insane plot armor out of anyone in Choices when there’s no reason for her to even have any in the first place. She regularly gets herself into grave danger, forcing others to risk their lives to help her. Feather lost his status as an Elder saving her life, so you’d think she’d be at least a little more careful, right?
Apparently not. We have to save her several times throughout the book and even spend a sizable chunk of one chapter during a battle trying to chase after her and get her to safety. But that’s not even the end of it. Remember how I said children have no place in horror stories unless they’re integral to the plot? May adds nothing to the story like Lula Jacobs, and also like Lula, our character is forced to care for her WAAAAAY more than they really should. The only things that endear her to the player are that she’s super young and presumably orphaned.
With all that being said, PB constantly pushes May-centric diamond scenes on us. Gather plants with May. Buy May this plushie. Tell May a story. Build flower beds with May. PB seems to have wanted May to be like Clementine from The Walking Dead and have us care for her and want to protect her, so they tried to achieve that by pushing diamond scenes with her.
Unlike Clementine, though, May is an incredible liability. Yes, she apparently knows about plants and gardening, but she constantly endangers herself and others, making her unquestionably more of a liability than an asset.
To recap: while her personality is pleasant, I loathe May because she adds nothing to the story whilst being an unrealistic character in that she constantly endangers herself and others while somehow surviving every encounter no matter how severe (like being the only person the Queen didn’t eat, which I call bullshit on) and receives nothing more than a metaphorical slap on the wrist from anyone who has to haul her ass out of trouble. And of course, everyone still unquestionably adores her even after she nearly gets them killed trying to save her for the umpteenth time.
Basically, May is a veritable waste of manpower and resources and could have been a good character, but she was a garbage one instead.
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devilsrecreation · 9 months
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Ya’ll I’m not gonna lie, I’m actually thinking about making a Monsters Inc/University oc
I did this monster oc challenge from tiktok a while back and now I’m like “yk what? Let’s make them a monsters inc character”
Everybody meet Atlas
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-They’re kind of a mix between a sea monster and a scorpion except their species can go on land and in water
-Randall’s childhood best friend and went to MU with him
-Met Randall in elementary school when he was getting bullied and they (formerly she) beat the bullies with a book
-Used to be a feisty and sassy little shit who would gladly pick a fight but has since matured and become more of a hippie…who would still pick a fight if you messed with their friends. Their heart is in the right place, they just don’t make the best decisions
If you don’t believe me, this was Atlas’ reaction when Randall was kicked out of ROR
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- Was a business major in MU but didn’t know what kind of business they wanted to run
-Friend of Art and Squishy during the events of MU (they think Art’s funny and they must protect Squishy at all costs)
-Was NOT proud of Randall when they saw what ROR did to Oozma Kappa at the party and they even confronted Johnny about it
To be more specific, after OK ran out, they (having been a new friend of Art) stomped to ROR and was all “What the hell did you do that for?! What have they ever done to you?!”. After Johnny and Chet told them some bs excuse like “Lighten up, it’s just a prank” and “They’ll never be scary, anyway”, Atlas told them that while they aren’t the scariest monsters around, they’re still the nicest, most hardworking people in school if you got to know them. “They’re better monsters than you jerks will EVER be!”. Then Johnny would say something even more condescending and douchey that ultimately gets himself punched in the face (and Chet punted across the room).
Thankfully, Randall camouflaged himself to avoid both the verbal beating and the embarrassment (cuz if ROR figured out he and Atlas were friends, he’d be kicked out of the fraternity for sure). But he did show himself when Atlas was leaving and the two had a little spat. Randy begged Atlas to just let it go while Atlas argued how wrong it was to do them dirty. It gets to the point where Atlas does the somewhat cliche “You’re not the person I remember” thing, which sours their friendship
-It’s okay though, cuz after Randall gets kicked out of ROR post Scare-games, he goes back to his old dorm and sees Atlas as his new roomate. They make up and still remain best friends to this day
They also made their friendship known to ROR, who are now afraid of them due to Atlas kicking them where the sun doesn’t shine. Nobody messes with either of them now
-I’m thinking Atlas gets banished sometime before the events of Monsters Inc. They were a secretary in the company (either working alongside Celia or they worked on her days off) and somehow found out Waternoose’s true colors after catching him doing something to “save the company” (it wasn’t the scream extractor but it was definitely illegal). Instead of reporting it to the cops or something like that, they decided to confront Waternoose themselves, leading to a fight where Waternoose ends up pushing Atlas through a door, thus banishing them. They eventually get un-banished after the events of MI, but oh boy is Randall in for a surprise
Living in the human world (in a bayou to be exact) is the reason they went from a little shit to a hippie
They have sort of a reputation, where they’re known as “The Beast in the Bayou”
-They can live anywhere as long as there’s a body of water nearby. Whether it’s the ocean or a lake or a river or even a creek in a forest, as long as there’s water, they’ll be just fine
-That tentacle hair can move on its own. It has done some damage
-When they (and possibly Randall) get un-banished, they once again become a receptionist
Or maybe they own a hippie boutique, haven’t decided
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plaindangan · 11 months
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Can you hear that?
It's the sound of shortstacks!
Hiyoko is 1M30 of pure fury, but her jiggly collosal ass make all men forgot about this, all man except the brat tamer himself the man know as Hajime Hinata,she tries her usual "I will step on you" thing only to be spanked and anal into submission.
She will learn to behave, no matter how many times her ass get red for that!
Disclaimer: Below is content that's more on the racy side! If not for you, you probably shouldn't read!
Hiyoko loved getting her way and hated anyone/anything that disrupted that. Sure, she may not be physically intimidating, heck, usually she looked about the opposite, but her arrogant demeanor soon became well known to any person who bothered to be around her for more than two seconds.
But, she got away with it for so long due to her trump card. While she may not be squaring up in terms of height, she could always rely on the fact life did throw the woman enough of a bone to give her a ridiculous set of thick hips and a nonsensical dumptruck ass that dwarfed even her upper body it seems. Was it a pain to put her kimono over every day? Yes! Did it prevent her from being handed any sort of repercussions because everyone who tried was hypnotized by her twerking and dancing with it? Yes!!
At least, until she ran into Hajime. After spending an entire day just being a bully, from insulting Mikan to being just a jerk to Hajime, he finally had it. Though Hiyoko didn't get the memo yet...
"Hiyoko, that's enough! Your rotten attitude ends here!!" Rolling her eyes, Hiyoko turned around and began to shake her cheeks at Hajime. Her kimono even riding up to reveal more of her fat, bouncy, pale ass that even her own panties could barely cover. An enticing sight to anyone. Mostly anyone.
"Yeah, yeah, that's what you all say...be real. Do you really wanna do that?~"
"Yes."
"....H-huh?" She turned around and gulped upon seeing a stern Hajime with his arms folded. She practically knew her fate was set in stone.
--
SMACK!SMACK!SMACK!SMACK
"Gaaaaaaah!! Y-you piiiiiig!! Nasty bastard!! Piece of shiiit!! You! Youuu!! ARGH!! S-stop hitting my ass so I can think of better things to say, goddamnit!!!"
"Yeah, not happening..."
In Hajime's room, Hiyoko (who had to deal with being thrown over Hajime's shoulder with her ass partially exposed) was immediately tossed over his lap, ass bared and made to deal with his strong hand. Her giant, jelly like booty was rippling and shaking like crazy as he spanked her absolutely raw. This was the most humiliating event in Hiyoko's life! How could someone do this to her - to her!? This was awful!! Her ass felt like it was on fire and he it felt like he was going on for hours!! She should want Hajime to be punt into the sun!!!!
...So...why did she kind of like this treatment? It stung, yeah, but...there was a part of her that was really enjoying this treatment. N-not that Hajime will ever know about this (though maybe a moan or two from her would help give him the hint).
With Hiyoko's bubble butt nice and red, as Hajime own hand gently squished said cheeks, he had to ask "Will you accept a reward in exchange for staying good?"
"...M-maybe?~"
So that's how Hiyoko found herself, bent over on Hajime's bed, moaning to he heavens as the fairly normal guy fucked her ass with gusto~
Would her good streak last? Of course not, this was Hiyoko and just being a brat was her nature.
But she figured if treatment like this awaited her as a penalty, then that penalty was well worth the risk~
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I have just suddenly remembered my Kidclipse and Toddlunar AU, where Eclipse was a small child the entire time, and he designed Lunar and Bloodmoon to be toddlers so he would be the big brother. Kidclipse is basically 5, Toddlunar and Babyblood are basically 3.
Nobody realized he was a kid until the first time Sun went into the mindscape to talk face to face. And was confronted with a small child whose voice is so much squeakier without Sun’s voicebox filtering it. He came out of that spell panicking because that was not a scary villain, that was a traumatized child lashing out.
The months after that feature Kidclipse working through his fear of Sun and Moon, and his guilt about Babyblood (and July 16th) and Lunar (who’s birth went pretty similar to canon in that it freaked Sun out and messed up Moon’s head for a bit, causing Glamrock Freddy to be called in)
Kidclipse had a panic attack when Golden cast the suppression spell for the first time. He cried the whole time. And his voice was hoarser than usual when it finally wore off. Nobody really noticed, since that’s when they thought he was an evil adult.
He had another panic attack when Sun saw him in their mind, because he was freaking out about them knowing how small and weak he really is and scared they’d lock him away again. He got cuddles and affection out of it instead.
Priorities immediately shift from getting rid of Eclipse to getting this child his own body so they can actually raise him. Moon does most of the parenting until Kidclipse’s body is done.
Instead of the maternity chip, Kidclipse sabotaged Sun and Roxy’s relationship the old-fashioned way, with threats and bullying. He tied Roxy’s hair to pole once. He did it solely because he was sharing Sun’s body at the time and didn’t want her cooties.
Besides Roxy, he otherwise mostly acted like canon SaMS Eclipse until Sun saw him in their mind. He almost blew his cover several times though.
He still has Moon’s brains in his tiny child brain, so he still turns the barrels into deadly weapons. And doesn’t tell anyone. They fins out when Sun almost accidentally shoots a kid. Kidclipse and Gregory are great friends.
Kidclipse was grounded once for giving Gregory a disintegration gun. He’s also been grounded for installing swords in Babyblood.
Golden gives Kidclipse therapy when he babysits, because the entire family is too allergic to therapy tp actually book an appointment.
Toddlunar is the only one who acts like a normal child. Kidclipse is a snarky brat who likes to turn barrels into lasers and bombs, and Babyblood are the most violent and bloodthirsty toddlers anyone’s ever seen.
Glamrock Freddy was the second person to find out about Toddlunar. His sheer dad energy had Kidclipse confessing pretty quick, and apologizing for building a baby brother inside Moon’s head without permission.
Toddlunar just strolled up to Monty one day and declared them best friends, and Monty, under threat of Moon cutting them off from his bank account, had to go along with it instead of punting the toddler. Which quickly became “if anything happens to this child I’m destroying the world and then myself”.
July 16th still happened, but the twins are pint-sized, and mad about it once they realize they are not Sun-sized in the real world. Mass murder was so easy in Sun’s huge body, but the body they.manifested was tiny and can only kill rats. The new body was only a bit bigger, but much better for homicide purposes.
Monty get to babysit Babyblood during Daycare hours, because nobody trusts them near soft, fragile, tiny, blood-filled human children. Especially after Kidclipse gave them swords.
Kidclipse didn’t tell anyone about the Babyblood until October, because he was worried Sun and Moon would be mad at him. He made the mistake of telling Toddlunar, who spilled the beans by the end of the day.
KC, Moon, and Monty try to rediract Babyblood’s homicidal urges towards specifically assholes. It takes time because they are very small and need to learn how to take down adults for that.
When Killcode gains sentience, he immediately claims the four as his own, and has to coparent with Sun and Moon, his brothers.🦇
Oh right! I remember that. Reminds me of the one where they found out about lunar because eclipse panicked realizing his baby brother was alone in moons head and told moon so he wouldn’t mix him up with a virus or hurt him and because lunar was a baby and he needed to get in there to comfort the scared baby
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miraculouslycool · 4 years
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Her Light to His Darkness
Chapter 3: Reflection
Read in AO3
She didn't know what she was thinking.
She was NOT going to that ball.
And since she wasn't, she didn't have to design dresses for herself to wear.
She could just sketch them and leave them buried within the pages of her sketchbook.
Ladybug groaned to herself as she followed the direction of Hawkmoth's newest Akuma. She was a hopeless, pathetic mess.
"Do you know where the Akuma is?" A rushed, yet curt voice snapped her out of her thoughts.
"Kit-Chat?" Ladybug said, inadvertently.
It had been a week since they had properly talked, and it seemed like it was continuing. The period hadn't gone by without the akumas, though.
For what it was worth, it seemed like their teamwork hadn't been affected by their spat. They still worked flawlessly and seamlessly together, not even needing verbal directions more than a simple, meaningful look.
It wasn't long before Ladybug realised how short her time was with him. The akumas didn't take long to beat, each of them did their parts and left.
There were no jokes, no humor, no puns. And no warmth.
Marinette told herself she couldn't complain. She had no right to. She was the one who wanted this. He was only following what she told him.
Like he always did.
"Ladybug?" Chat's voice brought her back to the present.
"Sorry, yeah?" Ladybug said, quickly.
Did he get a haircut? His wild hair seemed a lot shorter than before.
"You said my name and you haven't responded after that."
"Oh. I was going to call you. Then I saw you and, let's just go." She shook her head. "The akuma is at the Champs-Elysees."
She made to launch herself off the building, not before she felt him pause for a really long while before saying "Okay."
---------
From what they had gathered from the akuma's angry outburst, she called herself Miroir, and she had been bullied for her figure heavily. She was now going around trapping everyone by sucking them into what seemed like a different dimension, through her hand mirror.
They quickly deduced that it had to be the akumatised object, although getting to it was far tougher. She was flinging trails of broken glasses at them, and despite their best efforts, both of them had quite the few cuts on their exposed skin.
"What do you think happens when one gets sucked inside?" Ladybug asked him as they deflected her manifesting shards of glass.
"Don't think it really matters, let's just not get caught." He grunted from the effort of batting away a piece that almost went for his eye. There was a tiny gash on his cheek, and out of habit, she extended her hand to examine it, before recoiling her hand away.
That stung, admittedly it did, but she again, couldn't complain. She wanted this.
She deserved it. For all the times Tikki side-eyed her for being so short with him, it took actually going through the impact of what she had done for it to finally hit her.
"Okay, okay, we'll do that." She said, her voice growing so small that she could barely hear herself. It made him look at her for a bit too, surprised at her suddenly soft tone.
"Look out!" Ladybug said, brandishing her yo yo as another line of broken glass headed her way.
Chat quickly jumped out of the way, realising that her defending herself was throwing the shards in his direction instead.
"You hurt?" He was the one who asked this time.
"No." She muttered, trying to not get her hopes up. "But it's better if we defend ourselves in two different places, standing close to each other isn't doing us any favours."
Chat nodded, and leaped over to the next building.
The translucent being was delighted at the notion, because it meant getting to attack both the heroes at the same time.
"You fools!" She cackled, whipping out even more glass.
"Chat Noir!! Her mirror!!" Ladybug shouted as she punted her yo yo straight to her nose.
"Oops, did she hurt you, Your Fragileness?" Chat taunted, launching himself at the villain, kicking her larger hand, making the mirror fly out of her grasp.
A joke! That was a joke! He had started joking again!
'Stop it, Marinette!!! Not the time and place!' She scolded herself, wiping away the bit of blood next to her right eyebrow.
"Got it!" She heard him say, as he held up the tiny mirror, which was powerless now that it wasn't in Miroir's hands.
"Well, that was easy." She remarked, back-flipping away from the akuma's enraged screams and attacks.
"Cataclysm!" He called for his power.
"Nice job-" she was about to say when he let out a gutteral scream instead.
"Chat Noir?!" She whipped her head in his direction.
In the next building, he had thrown away the mirror like it had burnt him alive. It HAD burnt him. He was clutching his ring hand to his chest, and his face was screwed up in pain.
“CHAT NOIR!!” Ladybug screamed in horror as she vaulted towards him. What happened? Why didn’t his Cataclysm work??
“Chat, what happened??” She put an arm behind him, just as his back was about to hit the roof. “No, no, don’t fall asleep on me now!” She urged, shaking his head, fear coursing through her veins. “Chat, wake up!! Please!!”
“Mirror...” he whimpered pitfully, his head resting on her shoulder, and she sighed in relief, even if it wasn’t a sign that he was okay, he wasn’t dead like those other times.
“What did it do to you??” She said, swallowing the lump in her throat and immediately wishing she hadn’t. It only made her tears flow faster. “Your hand,” she reached for it, and he hissed in pain.
“Sorry!!” She sobbed, not even knowing what she was apologizing for, but she took his hand a little more gently this time, and bile rose to her throat at the sight. His claws had been damaged, and his fingers were corroding by the minute.
“I...I don’t understand! How did it get to you??” Ladybug whispered.
“Nice job, cat.” Miroir mocked, putting out a palm and recalling her unblemished, unbroken mirror back to herself. “And I thought the insect was supposed to be smarter than that. Don’t you know a thing about mirrors?
Mirrors reflect light, sound, matter, and magic. How had she not realised that?
“You all may look pretty,” She hissed venomously, but inside you is nothing but a rotten mess of ugliness. No one is what they say they are, no one is what they look like, and Paris just proved that all of you are good for nothing nobodies who can only point their fingers at others!!”
Marinette honestly couldn’t care less about her appearance, but Miroir was right when she was pointing the blame at everyone else. By everyone else, she meant Chat Noir, the one soul who had stood by her side, even through her tantrums, mood swings and tears, and hadn’t wavered even though she had practically told him to get lost that day.
What had she done??
“I’m...sorry.” He said, gasping as the pain overtook him. “Shouldn’t...have....”
“No, no, I’m sorry!!” She interrupted him, holding his ruined hand to her chest.
“Now.” Miroir raised her hand, a ball of magic shining brightly as the sun reflected it right into Ladybug’s eyes. “It’s your turn.”
“Not if I can help it.” Her voice shook with anger. Placing Chat Noir back on the roof gently, she stood up, fisting her suited hands. “No one, and I mean, NO ONE,” she gritted her teeth. “-hurts him and gets away with it.”
“That’s real cute. Too bad, I thought you were passable at the very least. You really need some smoky eyeshadow to go with all that feistiness.” Miroir sneered.
“Lucky Charm!!” Ladybug more or less shouted, her rage evident in her aggressive stance.
She got a boomerang. That was good enough. It had been exactly what she had wanted. She pulled her hand back, rearing with all of her strength, and threw it.
Miroir easily dodged it. “HA! You missed!”
“Did I?” Ladybug smugly said as the boomerang hit the back of the akuma’s head, flying back to the spotted heroine’s outstretched hand.
“The mirror.” Chat wheezed, trying to get up. “Get the mirror.”
Ladybug immediately knelt down next to him, looking him directly in the eye. She held his cheek, the one with the gash, softly thumbing it.
“You are more important.” She said. Throwing up the boomerang, she yelled, “Miraculous Ladybug!!”
The ladybugs fluttered around, clearing all the damaged buildings, bringing back Paris’s civilian population, and healing her cuts.
But that’s not what she was focusing on. Chat Noir’s hand healed instantaneously, and he let out a big puff of air he had been struggling to hold.
“But, Ladybug, the-“
“What have you done??!” Miroir screeched. “You will pay for this!!” She pointed her mirror at them, letting it reflect the sunlight.
Ladybug screwed up her eyes, which were beginning to hurt from the light concentrated at them.
“Where...where are we??” Chat Noir sputtered next to her. Her eyes fluttered open, and she gasped.
They were surrounded by mirrors, curved ones, full-length ones, concave and convex vanity mirrors.
“It’s...a hall specifically for mirrors?” Ladybug said, confused. “That’s not very threatening.” She said as she looked at several of her reflections copying her actions.
“Well, Miroir got akumatised because she was bullied for her appearance.” Chat pointed out.
“But you and I look compeletely normal!” Ladybug said, turning him around so he could get a good look at his reflection. She was right. They did look normal, not a blemish of ugliness in sight.
“Unless...” Ladybug said, wiping away her tears before Chat could notice. “Unless we appear the same because we are not insecure about our looks? Think about it, she was not just akumatised because she was bullied, she was akumatised because she was insecure." Ladybug deduced.
"You're right..." Chat Noir said, his hand ghosting over one of the mirrors.
"Don't touch it!!" Ladybug said sharply. "You know what happened last time!"
"No, no, I won't." He said, immediately backing away.
Ladybug hesitated, realising that she had been too harsh. She had been, for a long time.
"Sorry, I just-"
"Yeah." For his part, he didn't look as cold as he did earlier. "I know."
"Wait a second." She said, standing on her tiptoes to peer over his shoulders. "Why isn't your reflection's back turned?"
Chat Noir looked confused. "What? That's crazy, why would-"
"Look!!" She turned him around, only to flinch away when she saw that her reflection hadn't mimicked her in kind, instead she just stood there next to him, folding her arms and glaring at them.
No, not both of them. She was glaring at her.
The image of Chat was sullen and quiet, making no effort to lock eyes with them, unlike Ladybug. He stared at his boots, fiddling with his ring, just like how the real Chat would when he was nervous.
"Ooookay?" Chat gulped. "You know, if they wanted to attack us, they could have done that already, so I guess we're physically safe?"
Ladybug flung her indestructible yo yo at the mirror, but it didn't even leave a dent.
"That's impossible!! I've broken highways with this thing!!" She stammered, her straight posture giving way when she felt her mirror image's glare upon her.
Maybe that was it's purpose. To make them feel small.
Even Chat was growing apprehensive about his image, which looked like nothing more than an expressionless fleshy vegetable with bones.
"Can you hear anything on the outside?" Ladybug strained her ears. "Do you think we're the only ones here? If anyone else gets caught, would they join us?"
Ladybug's earrings beeped, making her jump. "I forgot about that."
Chat winced, his eyes traveling around the room. "Let me go see if there's any place you can hide-"
"You need to recharge too!!" Ladybug said, panicking. "Oh no no no, what have I done?? Now we're stuck here until we detransform and she's going to come and get us and-"
"Ladybug." Chat said, gripping her shoulders. "Look at me." He said.
"Chat, we don't have time for this!!" She flailed her arms. "We're going to detransform!!"
"I know." He said calmly. "Take deep breaths with me."
"Five minutes-!"
"It won't take more than one." He said. "Come on, let's do it slowly. In." He directed, and Ladybug gave in.
"There. Hold for two seconds." He said. "Now out. Slowly!" He warned when she puffed her cheeks too much.
Ladybug felt her pulse steadying, and her vision wasn't so hazy anymore. "Thanks." She said quietly.
She flinched a little when she heard her reflection scoffing.
"Do you have food for your kwami?" He asked.
"Yeah. You?"
"I do."
"Alright. Okay. We'll just sit down, close our eyes and recharge."
Marinette sat down, drawing in a deep breath and closed her eyes. She heard him shuffling around, the tips of his toes touching her feet.
"Eyes closed?" She asked.
"Yes." He said.
"Spots off."
"Claws in."
"What's going ooonnn-why is-" Plagg yelped.
"Sshhh!" Tikki said, furiously.
"Plagg eat up quickly." She heard Chat say.
"Here you go, Tikki." Marinette opened her purse and Tikki zoomed inside to eat the cookie.
There was silence for a while, neither of them speaking, only listening to the sounds of them breathing, and their kwamis chewing.
"Are you okay?" Marinette blurted out suddenly.
"Hmm?" She heard him say.
"Your hand. Is it alright?"
"Yeah." He said softly.
To her surprise, she felt warm skin and the brush of metal against her own hand. "You fixed me up good." He said, holding her hand.
Marinette was trying to not spaz out. She was holding Chat's bare hand. She had held it several times outside of the suit, but never had she realised how long his fingers were, how slender they had to be if he was able to slip them comfortably between her own, and how her skin tingled when she felt his calloused fingertips.
"I'm glad." She whispered, really meaning it. She didn't want to think about what could have happened if she hadn't gotten to him in time.
"Why do you think our reflections aren't saying anything?" He asked a moment later. Their hands were still intertwined.
"I don't know." She said. "I thought they would have come out to attack us atleast by now."
"I felt a little nauseous looking at mine." He admitted. "I look so disappointed in me."
"Same here. I've never seen myself so angry at, well me."
A beat later, Marinette realised. "Maybe that's it. Our reflections are showing us, -without words, because they can't speak, they're just images -" she rambled. "What our reactions, and in turn the world's reaction would be, to our worst selves. Chat! The other people's reflections weren't the things changing. It was themselves. People became ugly, they became insecure, they became angry and...and.."
It was becoming more apparent just how much she had screwed up.
"I'm sorry." The words came out as a sob.
"Ladybug?" He said, feeling around for her. "Are you crying?"
"I'm sorry, Chat." She placed her free hand over her mouth to stifle her sobs. "I'm sorry I was so mean to you, I'm even more sorry I pushed you away-" his hands had traveled up to her shoulders now. "And the truth is...I can't- I can't stand to see you dying!" She was openly crying now. "I know you don't do it at a whim but I-" she didn't want to finish that trail of thought. "I'm just so-so-"
She felt herself being pulled forward and her head smushing against not leather, but soft fabric of a shirt. No, she realised as her arms went around him, and her hands landed on a hood. He was wearing a hoodie.
She was hugging the boy underneath Chat Noir's mask. A boy who had the warmest touch ever and a boy who wore hooded jackets.
He was holding her to him like he was afraid of her disappearing any minute if he let go. "You..." She jumped a little in his arms when she felt his tears against her cheek. "You have nothing to apologise for. You've been through so much in such a short time. You're holding the world on your shoulders and... sometimes I don't know how you do it, Bugaboo."
She gasped. He only nuzzled the top of her head even more. "I don't know how you can hold so much on your back and never break. Anyone, let me repeat, anyone in your place would have been worse. And, I'm sorry."
"No! You don't have to apologise!" She said frantically. "You were trying to help me all along!"
"I was going about it the wrong way. I was trying to get you to ignore it instead of solving it. What I did just now?" He pulled away, cupping her cheek and wiping away a tear. "That's what I should have been doing. I should have tried suggesting new people for the miraculouses, I should have tried to take your burden away by fighting alongside you, and not just leave you alive and ALONE. I should have laid off the jokes-"
"I missed them." She interrupted. "I was wrong, I was dumb, please, don't ever stop punning or joking. I would miss you too much. I can't do any of this without you. And I don't want to let that go just because I was stupid enough to not detransform before-"
"No, please, Ladybug, don't blame yourself for that." He urged. "You were stressed, you were overwhelmed, it could have happened to anyone, and you came through so so amazingly. Master Fu could have died, but we saved him, Hawkmoth could have gotten the Miracle box but you have it with you. We'll get through this. I promise." He faltered. "That is, if you want to! If you still need time-"
"I've had enough time with myself." She said resolutely. "It's about time I shared it with you. Tikki?"
"Yes, Ladybug?"
"You ready?"
"Absolutely."
"What about you, Plagg?"
"Thanks for finally talking to each other by the way. Gave me a lot of time to savor my-"
"Claws out."
"-cheeeessse!!"
"Tikki, spots on!"
They opened their eyes, to see each other. Only this time it was an completely new light.
"You ready?" Ladybug wiped away her tears, leaving behind her signature smirk.
"Oh you bet." He grinned.
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astrangeraccoon · 3 years
Text
BNHA rambles (part 18)
Here comes episode 9, which is one I’ve been waiting for:
-Uraraka ! Uraraka !Uraraka !
-She’s so nervous but she’s ready to be the best she can be
-Ouch! That was violent
- I first thought that Jirou’s covering her ears as a reaction of the attack was bc she was scared but then I remembered she has enhanced hearing. Bakugo’s quirk must be a nightmare for her
-I know Tsuyu is a girl too so I won’t say anything about her saying it, but as it is something that’s repeated in the episode, I hate that they want Bakugo to go easy on Uraraka bc she’s a girl. Should Bakugo learn some self-control? Yes absolutely. His attack are most of the time (for now at least) way too destructive in general, and he should learn to lessen that. Should he hold back bc Uraraka’s a girl? No. She chose to be here, she chose (and reaffirm her wants) to figth. Bakugo giving less than his best would be an insult towards her
-Uraraka fight really smart, but she lack the training and the speed she needs to pull it of
-Maybe I should count the number of time I want to punt Mineta into the sun, make it a work out? It would be really efficient
-Okay, I agree that it hurt to watch, but booing Bakugo is really fucking hurtful and so fuck those guys. I mean yes the boy is violent, but you don’t boo him like that on an important fight. (+ it’s also really demeaning for Uraraka too)
-Dadzawa to the rescue! And tearing into the man (as well as elbowing Mic for agreeing) and defending BOTH of his students. He knows them, knows what they can do, and won’t let anyone disrespect them.
-Monoma! Had! Noticed! Her! Plan! (+ acknowledging it’s a smart strategy)
-Okay but that amount of rubbles floating is really impressive
-Aizawa had noticed too!
-Bakugo’s hurt himself while exploding that
-Izuku is Uraraka symbol of victory, and I love it
-She’s so exhausted it hurt
-Once again how does no one realize how terrified Izuku is of Bakugo? (I know no one saw this specific interaction but still). Also, him standing up to his bully when it comes to his friends give me life
-I hate that they call Bakugo’s actions as him ‘playing the villain’
-and calling Uraraka a ‘frail girl’. She. Is. Not! And she could kick your ass no pb
-Uraraka faking being okay hurt more than her showing she’s upset
-Tetsutetsu and Kirishima manly bromance
-Uraraka, my girl, my queen, please, you did so good! Don’t concentrate on the negative please
-Supportive dad! I love it. My poor girl, it’s going to be okay
-What is it with those kids and beating themselves down
-Once again, and all together: fuck Endeavor
-Go Izuku! He’s ready to destroy that man whole carrier!
-OMG Uraraka’s face XD
-Once again the villain are watching the Sport festival… (+AFO being creepy)
-Inko having used so many tissue already (she’s so not ready for what happens next)
This episode was so good I loved it! I’m going to post a special rambles going more in depth on my thought of the fight (I’ll probably do the same for Izuku vs Shoto and Shoto vs Bakugo) . I’m so excited for the next episode!
Anyway, like every times questions and suggestion for rambles as well as other are more than welcome in my inbox
Aya’s out
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boosyboo9206 · 4 years
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"I'm bby," Marcy admitted freely. She was lying the whole time. She is in fact not bby Em kinda just watched from the side knowing that secretly em is bby . But she was actually telling the truth because she is bby. She was also hit with a truth quirk which would not allow her to deny her bby status. the truth quirk also hit everyone else in the room making them spill their darkest secrets Marcy decided to just never speak again because she was getting bullied . Marcy was not being bullied. Marcy also got hit with a quirk not allowing her to remain silent. She decides that she'll talk with Denki instead knowing that Momma bear would continue to bully her Em walks in with natsuo following . “ hey Marcy, what’s up?” . Denki responds, instead, saying "she's doing great because she's bby and not being bullied at all." “ He's wrong, I swear,” She says covering Denki's mouth with her hand. but he could not be wrong as he has no reason to lie and marcy is bby. “ okayyy... anyway! Do you guys wanna come with natsuo and I to spend all of endeavours money again?” Em replied “Of course we want to go out and spend all of Endeavors money! Can Shinsou come?” Marcy says wanting to take her platonic Minecraft boyfriend along with her Endeavor also got hit with the quirk making people say their darkest secrets and began shouting his bank pin. “of course he can! We have three of endeavours credit cards after all” natsuo replied for Em. Mommabear keeps putting her foot on a plate that once contained delicious cake. “Yay!” Marcy smiles thinking that Mommabear isn't going to bully her any more . Oh how wrong Marcy was 😔. mommabear came up from behind the chair claiming “ I need to come too to make sure natsuo and em don’t hold hands- and Marcy , your bby” Soon, everyone starts chanting "marcy is bby." “Im going to make eye contact if you don't stop chanting Denki,” Instantly making the blonde shut up. “Im not BBY I swEAR—” you could faintly hear em yelling at natsuo “Natsuo! Stop chanting! Marcy is not bby!” Marcy hits the back of Shinsou's head who is still chanting, “Imma bonk you both with a hammer if you chant” 🔨😭 dabi walks in confused. “What are you doing... I wanted to flex my new Gucci bag” . But eye contact is forbidden and not happening anyway, especially with bby. Eye contact runs the risk of Denki being punted into the sun with mineral. Furthermore, Natsuo would not stop chanting as he wishes to not be punted into the sun, as well. Shinsou used his brainwashing quirk to force marcy and em to being bby. “Hey, Dabi I like your bag,” Says Denki as Shinsou agrees with him. Marcy is now pouting Because she isn't bby . "Thanks, jammingyay. It says 'marcy is bby' on it and I only buy Gucci merch with accurate statements." Dabi said, showing off the large and bold words. Em was confused “I know Marcy is bby but now I am? That’s new” dabi hears her and says “ I have Em is bby written in the small pocket on my Gucci bag darling” Marcy refuses to speak and crosses her arms. “She's bby” says Shinsou . There is much proof that marcy has admitted she is bby. All the proof is actually Photoshopped except it is because no one who has the proof knows photoshop. But they're liars that do know how to Photoshop advert break~ SELLING NOW! Endeavours credit cards! Free from the todoroki house hold now! except they're not liars and don't know photoshop because they're clowns who bought all of endeavor's credits card to spend on "marcy is bby" merch, happy to have it now that marcy admitted she's bby. The end.
From: LOC crackfics ✨
Story recorded by @storybot, written by @boosyboo9206, @bnha-rebloggs, @herladyfangirl, and @panbaigel
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glitch-demon · 4 years
Text
Saving Grace
Level Two, Part Two
@whore-of-socks
Ok. Not too creepy. 
The marketplace is bright and half-bustling, half-meandering. There is a dragonic couple selling chocolate nearest the entrance, their tails entwined as they bellow “Mellow Sweets, READY FOR TREATS?”. Your low health bar grumbles at you for food, but something about this stall doesn’t seem right to you. It does not help how terrifying they appear. You decide to waddle over and Investigate both their questionable chocolate, and any info they can give on what the h*** is going on in this game. The dragonic lady pleasantly trills at you and her gentlemen smiles warmly down on you. Grace notices their  darker scales, and mumbles to herself something about them being from a Nightmare Realm.
“What can we do for you, sweet child? We have a fine selection of chocolate from all over our world; jepsi, edelwood, petalwood, dark, white, you name it! Oh, but if you for some reason can’t have chocolate, we have candy sticks that are just as scrumptious!” They spoke together, each taking every other word without missing a beat. Well practised, in harmony, as if they’d done it a million times. And they probably have! You look behind them. The candy sticks seem to be actual sticks. Oh ho ho ho.
“Hi, can I have a dark chocolate and a petalwood stick, both for the road? Oh, and I love your wing piece Mrs. Mellow!” Grace asks pleasantly, laying the sugar on thick. Huh. You don’t get any option to dig for info before she says that. Oh well. Mrs. Mellow hides into her husband’s chest, “Oh, stop.” He hands Grace what she ordered. The list checks off itself at the same time you unlock an achievement: Never Judge A Book By Its Cover! They both sweetly wish you farewell as you shuffle off into the market ‘street’ again. 
“What nice Nightmares. I want them to adopt me.” Grace says to herself, sighing wistfully.
The next closest stall has a very small, very cute duck. Not as small as Deku, but is a dwarf compared to Grace who is about 4’7”. You do not expect the following:
“What do ye want, ye fugly pixie? Can’t ye see am run’n a respectable business here, selling my hunts? Yer scare’n away mine customers!” He says in a heavy, rough country accent. Grace glances up to his stall sign, Gregory’s Predator Produce, looks behind him at the various animal parts, spots a pair of rams horns, and says, “I can punt your sorry tailfeathers all the way back to the human world, Gregory.”
“Oh pa lease. Get out if yer not going to buy somethin’.” 
Grace grins her baby fangs at him. The next thing he knows, he has a sword against his ringable duck throat.
“I’ll take your ram horns. Free.”
“O-f course, anythin’ for the lady! Hehe. No need for a duck feast tonight. Hehe.” She lowers her sword a smidge, to let him scurry back to get the horns. He plops them on the wooden counter. Grace sheethes her sword to put the horns in the bag. She takes him by the vest collar, leans in close.
“And you don’t have any customers because you can’t even tell the difference between a flore and a pixie, Gregory.” She pecks him on the bill before shoving him and walking away calmly.
You look around. There is a girl approaching you, a witch? You try to get away from her. But somehow the Game Knows. It slows Grace down, the girl gets faster, practically floating off the ground with her face covered. Another cutscene fast approaching, you get to the other side of the market before she catches you. F***, you pressed the key to throw a barrel!  
Grace turns around and smiles at her, “Hi Mia! What’s up!”
Her face is no longer shrouded by the huge witch hat. The first thing you notice is her bright, void eyes. She steps closer, and you see tiny multicolored galaxies stuck in a technicolor beat. It distracts you from her sewn-shut mouth until she starts signing “Hi, bitch.”
Grace squeals and pulls her into a crushing hug. 
When the two girls seperated, after much giggling and suffocating, Mia asks why Grace was here by herself. 
“Well, I’m not really alone now.”
“That’s not what I mean Grace. Why are you out with no adult watching your every move? Did you sneaky sneak out?”
“You’re half right. I’ve actually run away and become an apprentice since now I can legally make my own decisions.” She bowed her head to show off her soft, dark petals peaking out gently from her warrior styled hair. Mia oo’d. 
“So what are you studying? And do you have a good place to stay?”
“Uhh. Uh. I’m studying to take care of magical creatures in the woods, and I guess how to use their magic for stuff? Yeah. Um, this is actually my first day so I don’t have a place yet. My master sent me to shop for new clothes for me and to get it- sorry, uh HIM stuff too.” Grace started to sweat as Mia squinted her suspicion at her. She idly wondered if the Wood Beast cared if she referred to it as a he.
“You can stay at my place for a year, you know. It’s not like you didn’t practically live there for most of your life. You can even sleep in my old room.” Mia offered. Grace noticed that a group of customers were starting to flood past them and took Mia’s wrist to get them out of the way. They watched the swarm of other faefolk march and flit past from a dark corridor between two stone buildings. The deeper into the market, the bigger and sturdier the building merchants sold from. You notice Mia’s face glows neon, stitches bright and smiling wider than her mouth. Her hands have a heart pattern in a line, neon purple lining where her phalanges would be under her fabric-y skin, allowing you to see in the dark what she’s saying.
“I can’t. I don’t want my aunt to harass you. She means well, but you know how she gets when she’s told no. And besides, the last time I was over there my dad was still here. I don’t want to wake up to your favorite Sleeping Poppet and cry because I remember my dad saying she was the ugliest thing he ever saw.”
“She’s not that ugly!”
“Listen, Mia. I love you, but her face could make a Nightmare cry.”
“Stop bullying my daughter, bitch. She works perfectly fine, who cares what she looks like when you’re sleeping soundly all night?”
“Yeah, that’s why you face her away from you before you sleep.” Grace rasps between terribly hidden laughs. Mia salutes her with a certain ‘sign’. The last ropes of Grace’s self control fray, and both girls lean on each other as they belly bellow. 
When they settle in a tender silence, Mia leans over to Grace’s wall of the small alley to touch their sides together, to line up from the sides of their feet to the tips of their shoulders. Grace thinks that they fit together not quite perfect, but perfectly right. 
“Are you sure?”
“About what?” Grace murmured back.
“About what we were talking about.”
“Yes.”
“Ok.”
The silence resumed. They breathe out of synch, the noises of merchants haggling with their good neighbors wash over them. It was nice. Quiet.
“You said earlier you moved out. Did you get the apprenticeship you wanted?” Grace asked gently.
Mia hmm’d, looking up at the mid day sky in thought, before slowly responding, “Not exactly what I wanted, but I think it’s what I needed. Six moons of Mr. and Mrs. Mellow has taught me many things about candy, but it’s also taught me how to talk to people; with kindness. I believe that may be better than what any professional wizard could teach me.”
Grace hmm’d back, “Oh. But you always were kind to people.”
“If they were kind first. But I mean, even to people who hurt too much for their words to not spill over with hurt.”
“You mean rude ba*****s.”
“...yes.”
“I never could do that. Maybe I should.”
“Maybe you should.” 
“Yeah...” Grace sighs.
“Bitch.” Mia signs, stepping away. She takes a pendant from under her shirt and then off from around her neck. It is a cork bottle with a clasp, and she uncorks it to down the mysterious liquid before corking and re-clasping it to the black leather cord. “I’ve been gone too long. I have to zoom. Good luck with your new master, the year will fly by I promise! Juuust don’t bite his head off.”
“Don’t worry, we’re already passed that phase. Probably. Love you!” Grace says somehow through her chuckling.
“Love you too!” Mia mumble-calls through her binds as she gracefully floats from wall to wall, bouncing to get higher as the potion starts to activate. She is gone like a cat across rooftops, back to the start.
You step out into the sun, Grace’s Determination Bar grows. She is ready to get home early. 
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swanqueeneverafter · 5 years
Text
What Dreams May Come, Pt. 3
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A New Realm. Night. (Henry gallops along the forest path toward the place he first met Ella.) Henry: "Cinderella! (Dismounts:) Cinderella, I'm here! Cinderella?! (Horse neighs:) Yeah, I know. I was crazy to think she'd come. (Horse whinnies:) Ah, you get it. (At that moment, Henry's cellphone buzzes. Taking it out of his pocket, he sees the alarm set for midnight and, sure enough, the portal home opens before him. Sighs:) All right, time to go home. (To the horse:) Thanks for the ride." (Stepping forward, Henry enters the portal and vanishes.) Kingdom of Valencia. The Next Day. (King Richard sits upon the throne of Valencia, Gareth stood by his side as the Chef enters the room, noisily wheeling in a tray of food.) Chef: “A midday snack, My King?” King Richard: “Come up here. (Cautiously, the Chef climbs the dais:) What happened to the other chef? Looked just like you, but... older, more wrinkly.” Chef: “My father?” King Richard: “Right. What happened to him?” Chef: “You had him killed, sir.” King Richard: “Hmm?” Chef: “Your mutton was too rare.” King Richard: “Well, that doesn't sound like me.” Chef: “You killed his father before him. Your family has killed the last four generations of chefs in my family. It's not a great job, My King.” King Richard: (Despondently:) “I'm such a bully. I'm under a terrible amount of pressure. You have to understand that.” Chef: “Oh, it's fine, My King. Don't worry about it.” King Richard: “Oh, Gareth, I try so hard to please her. I invade a kingdom for a jewel, I respect her vow of chastity, and yet ever since Madelena saw that man fight off all my guards, she compares me to him and I have to hear it over and over again: ♪ Be a man! ♪ ♪ Be a man! ♪ ♪ Blah, blah, blah, blah, be a man! ♪ (Stands:) ♪ I want her, need her, crave her, yes, it's true. ♪ (Steps down from the dais:) ♪ But now she is not the only thing I desperately want to do. ♪ (Is suddenly flanked by two guards.) ♪ I want to shoot him with a crossbow ♪ ♪ I want to stab him in the eye ♪ (Begins dancing with a random courtier:) ♪ I want to liberate his head from his neck ♪ ♪ And then punt the bloody wreck sky high ♪ (Moves on to dance alone:) ♪ I want to hurl him out a window ♪ ♪ And shove explosives where the sun don't shine ♪ ♪ Want to skewer him with swords ♪ ♪ Then slowly twist them ♪ ♪ All around his reproductive system ♪ ♪ Won't that be divine? ♪ ♪ Then she'll be mine ♪ Gareth: (Bellowing at everyone gathered in the throne room:) “Everybody sing!” Guards: ♪ Ahh ♪ ♪ And then you'll do it every evening ♪ King Richard: ♪ Sweet God, at last! ♪ Guards: ♪ In every room on every floor ♪ King Richard: ♪ Till I can't do it anymore ♪ Gareth: ♪ And with no hero distracting your bride ♪ King Richard: ♪ We could start a genocidal war ♪ Guards & Courtiers: ♪ Yay, we're gonna go to... ♪ Wait, what?! King Richard: ♪ I'll get back to all my hobbies ♪ ♪ Like raising taxes and tormenting the poor ♪ Guards: ♪ Crush those poor! ♪ King Richard: (Begins dancing with the Chef:) ♪ Won't that be divine? ♪ (Tosses him aside.) Guards & Courtiers: ♪ Ahh ♪ King Richard: ♪ And she'll be mine ♪ Guards & Courtiers: ♪ Ia la la la ♪ King Richard: ♪ Just mine, all mine ♪ Guards & Courtiers: ♪ Ia la la la ♪ King Richard: ♪ Mine, all mine, all mine! ♪ (Everyone in the room is dancing, Richard with Gareth, the courtiers and guards form a large circle to give the song its big finish.) King Richard: (Seating himself back upon the throne:) “Well, that was ripping!”
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Storybrooke. Swan-Mills House. Morning. (As the morning sun makes its way across the sky and its rays trickle through the bedroom window, Emma slowly opens her eyes. Squinting, she lifts her head briefly before remembering it’s the weekend. Just as she’s about to roll over however, Emma hears noises coming from the bathroom. Lifting the covers and stepping out of bed, Emma makes her way over to the bathroom door. Listening outside for a moment, she relaxes slightly when the sound of the shower running is heard. Waiting outside with her hand hovering over the door handle for a full minute, Emma gently knocks on the door before entering. The sight that greets her causes the blonde’s heart to ache. Sitting on the floor of the shower, knees drawn up to her chest, is Regina. Despite the falling water, Emma can tell the brunette is crying.) Emma: (Softly:) “Regina?” Regina: (Sniffling:) “Why does it have to be so hard?” Emma: (Nods:) “I know. I know.” Regina: “I eat what I like, I get sick. Then I eat what I’m ‘supposed to’ and I get sick. I work less: sick. I stop work completely: sick. But even that would be bearable if I could just get a damn full night’s sleep.” Emma: (Stepping into the shower to turn off the water, Emma then takes her wife’s hand and lowers herself to sit across from her on the tiled floor:) “Do you want to go see Doctor Whale?” Regina: (Shaking her head:) “No. You heard what he said last time.” Emma: “When you threatened to rip his arm off and beat him with it?” Regina: (Lowering her head to her knees:) “Yeah. I know that what’s happening is amazing and I already love this baby more than I can say-“ Emma: “But it’d be nice if she would cut you some slack, huh?” Regina: (Raising her head:) “Yeah. If it was just a little easier, just by a tiny amount.” Emma: (Nodding:) “That’d be great.” (Moving onto her knees, Emma pulls her wife in for a warm embrace.) Regina: (Sighs:) “Soon you won’t even be able to wrap your arms around me and then my misery will be complete.” Emma: “Shh. I’ll always be able to wrap my arms around you. (Teasing:) Or parts of you, at least.” Regina: (With a rueful smile:) “Some prize I am, huh?” Emma: (Gently lifting Regina’s chin to meet her gaze:) “You are lovelier this morning than you have ever been. I only wish there were a way I could make you feel better.” Regina: “Just hold me a little longer?” Emma: “I’m not going anywhere, ever.” Swan-Mills House. Upstairs Hallway. A Few Minutes Earlier. (Having returned home, Henry is attempting to reach his room without waking his parents when he overhears their conversation. Realising he may have a way to help his moms, Henry decides to share his secret with them.)
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A New Realm. Valencia. (Queen Madelena looks on disgusted as King Richard is being fed like a child by the Chef.) Chef: (Holding up a spoonful:) “Catapult at the ready.” (Richard opens his mouth and the Chef feeds him.) King Richard: (Clapping:) “Mm mm mm!” Chef: “More? (Richard nods:) Which… (Richard points to something on the plate and the Chef scoops it up for him:) This one, this one?” King Richard: “Mm. Mm-hmm.” Chef: (Holding up the spoon once more:) “This one's coming on horseback.” Gareth: (Watching from his position by the window:) “Chef! Why don't you let the king feed himself in front of his wife? She's watching.” Chef: (Despite this, continues feeding the king:) “Open your drawbridge! Here comes the cannonball!” King Richard: (Chews for a moment:) “Ohh! Ew! There's fat on this piece. I don't like it. Take it out.” Chef: “All right. All right.” (When the Chef reaches into the king’s mouth to remove the offending piece of food, Madelena has seen enough.) Queen Madelena: (Stands:) “Right. Okay. Well... (Clears throat:) That's going to do it for me.” King Richard: “But, darling, you've barely touched your roast peacock.” Queen Madelena: “Chef, be a doll and shove a few more cannonballs down my husband's throat. I'm growing weary of his voice.” (She leaves.) King Richard: “Never start a marriage with a kidnapping. Both of you promise me that right now.” Gareth: “Yeah, we promise, My King.” Chef: “Rock-solid advice, My King.” King Richard: “Still, it’s fine. I'm sure once I kill that hero that took down my guards in front of her, she'll change her tune. (Neither Gareth or the Chef will meet his eye:) What's with the awkward silence?” Gareth: “Uh, it's...” King Richard: “What?” Gareth: “No, it's nothing.” King Richard: “Speak.” Gareth: “Well, um, I just think... And I say this very respectfully, Sire... You got to man up. You got to butch up for her a little bit.” King Richard: “Me?” Gareth: “Yeah!” King Richard: (Laughing, stands:) “I'm sorry, Gareth. I am Mr. Butch! (Throws down his napkin and notices something:) Oh, poop! I got gravy on my tummy flowers. (Gasps:) Oh, my God. You're right.” Gareth: (Nods:) “Come with me, Sire.” Storybrooke. Swan-Mills House. Kitchen. (Regina and Emma are making breakfast together when Henry enters the room.) Henry: "Hey guys." Emma: "Hey." Regina: "Good morning, Henry." Henry: (Cautiously:) "How's everyone feeling?" (Emma and Regina glance at each other before answering.) Emma: "Great." Regina: "Couldn't be better. Happy to see you in a better mood." Henry: "Yeah, about that. I know I haven't been the best son lately and I'm sorry. But I want to make it up to you both." Emma: "Henry, that's not necessary we just-" Henry: "No, please, let me get this out." Regina: (Concerned:) "Is everything all right?" Henry: (Nods:) "Yeah, or it will be. Could you please both sit?" (Henry pulls out a chair for Regina who takes a seat while Emma brings over the pan containing the pancakes and places it on the chopping block before sitting down.) Emma: "What is it, Henry? You know you can tell us anything." Henry: (Takes a deep breath:) "Okay, the reason I've been all distracted lately is because I've found something awesome. Better than any video game or travelling across Europe could ever be." Regina: "Okay..." Henry: "And I want you guys to share in it too. I think it could be just what you guys are looking for." Emma: "Well wait, what is it you think we're looking for?" Henry: (Hesitates:) "I heard you both earlier. I didn't mean to eavesdrop but... (Looks to Regina:) I heard what you're going through and I really think this could help." Regina: "What are you talking about, Henry?" Henry: "Oh it's way too difficult to explain, I'll have to show you." Emma: "Great. But first, breakfast." Regina: (Nods:) "I'm famished." Henry: (Smiles:) "Cool."
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A New Realm. Valencia. (King Richard opens the doors to Gareth’s chambers and walks inside.) King Richard: (Looking around:) “Holy cow! This is your room?! (Sniffs:) What’s that smell?” Gareth: “Testosterone.” King Richard: (Sniffs again:) “Mmm. Musky.” Gareth: “Look, if you want your wife to respect you, you've got to earn her respect. You need to man up.” King Richard: (Sighs:) “I wouldn't even know where to begin.” Gareth: “Well, it just so happens you're talking to the professor in the art of manhood. And I'm gonna give you a makeover.” King Richard: “Gareth, I cannot thank you enough. Come here, you!” Gareth: (Warningly:) “Hey, I've only ever hugged one man in my life, and it was the day my father died. (Sighs:) I squeezed that rotten bastard to death.” King Richard: “Right. We'll hug later. Good talk.” The Enchanted Forest. (Henry leads his parents into Xanax’s Laboratory.) Emma: “Hmm. This is… cozy.” Regina: “It’s an attic.” Xanax: “Excuse me, madam, but this is my laboratory.” Regina: (To Emma:) “It’s an attic.” Henry: “Moms, may I present, Xanax the magician.” Xanax: (Grunts, getting to his feet:) “Actually, I'm not legally allowed to call myself a magician anymore 'cause of the whole... (Sighs:) Thing. Don't worry about it. Think of me as a spiritual guide. I'm allowed to... Call myself that. Anyone can. It's meaningless.” Regina: (Taking Henry aside:) “Henry, this is the place you’ve been spending your time? (Looking around:) I think I’m getting an infection just by standing here.” Toad: “Ribbit.” Emma: (Pointing to the man sitting on the floor:) “Who’s that?” Xanax: “It’s Toad. He’s cool.” Toad: “Ribbit.” Xanax: (Chuckles:) “Don't ask. (At Emma’s concerned look:) He was a toad. I did a spell... turned him into a human-ish... Type thing. So, uh, yeah. I flipped it.” (Laughs.) Regina: “Oh dear lord.” Xanax: (Walking towards a table:) “Anyway, Henry, to what do I owe the pleasure of meeting your, quite frankly, stunning parents?” Henry: “Well, it’s no big deal, I just wanted to show them what you do. What you can do for them.” Xanax: “And what seems to be the problem?” Regina: (Before Henry can continue:) “Are you a licensed… whatever you are?” Xanax: (Chuckles:) “Does it look like I’m licensed to do anything?” Regina: “Henry-” Henry: “Mom, it’s fine, trust me. (To Xanax:) My mom is kinda having trouble sleeping at night… complications due to pregnancy.” Regina: (Chiding:) “Henry.” Henry: “It’s okay.” Xanax: “Yeah, I can see that. If these are your parents, who’s the father?” Emma: “I am.” Xanax: (Thinks a moment:) “Oh! You’re that Emma and Regina. The queen and the savior? The ones who united the realms with true love’s kiss.” Regina: “Clearly our reputation proceeds us.” Xanax: (Chuckles:) “Oh, you ain’t kidding. Because of you, my business has skyrocketed.” Henry: “I thought I was your only customer?” Xanax: “Well, yeah, that’s what I mean. Before you, I didn’t have any.”
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Emma: (Squeezing Regina’s hand before she can say anything:) “Let’s just see if he can help, okay?” Regina: (Sighs:) “Fine.” Xanax: “Xanax can help anything.” Emma: “Wonderful.” Xanax: (Burps loudly:) “Bit of wind there. Ooh. Right. Let's get you started.” Regina: (As Xanax starts mixing ingredients into a cauldron:) “This is a... Kind of disgusting little workstation, isn't it?” Xanax: “Did you see the toilet? It's basically a window. And by ‘window,’ I mean ‘hole’... in the wall. It works. (Pick up another ingredient:) One of them. Oh. Toad spotted it. (Waving the item teasingly:) You'd love that, wouldn't you? (Chuckles:) That goes in. Ready. Let's do this. (Xanax ladles the mixture into a bowl which bubbles with smoke:) Oooooooooooh. Now the magic words. (Picking up a wand:) Abracadabra. Alakazam. (Mumbling:) Habrazamdabra, flanimal ham. Try that now. It's all magic.” Emma: “You realise we know actual magic, right?” Regina: “You gave my son this potion?” Henry: “Many times. Moms, please. Just try it.” Regina: (Sighs. To Xanax:) “So, we just... Drink that down?” Xanax: “Yeah.” Emma: (Picking up the bowl, sniffing it:) “Ooh. That is…” Regina: “Pungent.” Xanax: “Yeah, that’ll be the anus.” Regina: “Oh, God.” Emma: “Oh, what the hell.” (Emma takes a sip of the potion then hands it to Regina who reluctantly does the same.) Xanax: “Excellent. Now, if you’ll all take your places on the floor.” Regina: “What?” Henry: “Relax, it’s all part of it.” Emma: (As she helps Regina onto the floor:) “What are you waiting for?” Henry: “Oh, I’m not going with you guys, I have my own place to be.” Xanax: (Cutting in:) “Welcome ladies, to your journey. There's bottles of water in easy reach. Please stay hydrated. And no kissing.” Regina: “Of course. Wait. What?” Xanax: “Oh... Shouldn't be an issue. But it has happened in the past, so I made a blanket rule... no kissing. (Chuckles:) Okay. Everyone ready?” Toad: “Ribbit.” Xanax: ♪ Close your eyes, open your mind ♪ ♪ Your journey's about to begin ♪ Regina: (Lifting her head off the pillows:) “He’s singing. Why is he singing? (Panicked:) No one mentioned anything about singing.” Henry: (Winces:) “Ah, yeah, I should’ve told you that randomly breaking into song can be a side-effect.” Regina: “Henry!” Xanax: ♪ Relax your karma and try not to barf ♪ ♪ As the universe starts to spin ♪ ♪ Hocus-pocus, expealadocious ♪ ♪ Set your aura free ♪ ♪ Petrificus totalis, drink deeply from the chalice ♪ ♪ Tell us what you see-e-e-e-e-e ♪ (As the room spins and both Emma and Regina succumb to the potions effects, a door appears at their feet.) Regina: (Sitting up quickly:) “I see a door!” Xanax: (Standing beside the door:) “Go through it! (Helping each other up, Emma and Regina hold hands and make their way through the door together. As they enter:) That’s magic!”
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ladyramora · 5 years
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Speed dating
Ramora stood outside her friend's house, a determined expression on her face. 
Lolz had been absent for a week and she was now really worried. No one had heard from her, not the Scions, not the Leaders of the Alliance, hell, her annoying 'arch-rival' Asahi had even asked Ramora (in the most insulting way possible) if she'd seen her around. 
Ramora had punted the little shit before replying that, sorry, no she hadn't and then decided that it was time she paid her friend a visit.
She knocked on the door, "Lolzy?"
"Hang on! I'm coming!" her friend called, the sounds of barking coming from the other side of the door before her friend opened it, looking disheveled, "Rammy?" She said, her eyes widening, "What's wrong? Is everything okay? Is there a new primal? Do we have to fight the Garlean army? Do we..."
"You have been missing for a week." Ramora said, her expression dark as she put her hands on her hips, "And you'd better have a good reason for that."
"Uh... does saving a pregnant wolf and helping her delivering her pups and caring for them count?" Her friend asked sheepishly as she opened the door to a large, black wolf curled around tiny little dots of moving color, her living room a complete pigsty. Ramora's eyes widening with delight as she entered the house, "I thought they could be good for the main companies since their coats aren't thick enough for Ishgard's terrain. When they're older of course." her friend explained as she ushered her in and closer to the fluffy masses on a giant cushion that probably once sat on a couch.
Ramora plopped down in front of the dogs and the wolf mother growled. Lolz came up from behind her and tapped her shoulder, revealing a nice, juicy steak on a plate, "If you feed her, she'll let you pet her, keep it up and she'll let you hold them." she said.
The elezen quickly snatched the plate and placed it in front of the mother and was pleased that the wolf gave her a small bow of her head before she munched on her meal.
Ramora happily began scratching behind her ear before giving her friend a stern look, not wanting to let her delight at the fluffy house guests effect her scolding Lolz for not telling anyone where she was or anything. "You had everyone really worried when you seemingly vanished for a week. Me especially."
"Trust me, I didn't mean to just vanish on everyone! It's just, well, caring for baby puppies is actually a lot harder than you'd think." Lolz explained as she sat down beside her, "The little ones need to be kept nice and warm, and they need to eat and go to the bathroom so many times a day, and there are times when the mom needs a bathroom break or to stretch and I have to hold down the puppy fort, it's insane! I'm glad they can't move too much on their own yet or my place would be a bigger mess. But it's also really satisfying," she made a soft face, "Kinda makes me wanna have kids someday too." she said quietly.
"Oh?" Ramora said, her interest piqued as she smiled eagerly at her friend, "Have someone in mind? I mean, with all the times you've played matchmaker with me, you probably have one or two in mind..."
The pink haired hyur didn't say anything for a moment, and Ramora suddenly got the feeling that it wasn't due to too many options...
Green and Red eyes narrowed, "Lolzy, you do go out on dates, don't you?"
"Yeah!" Her friend blurted, "Tons!" she then gave her a broad smile that quickly melted under her skeptical gaze like a block of ice in the summer sun.
Her friend sighed and looked down at the pups in front of her and curled into a ball, "I haven't had a date in ten years, happy now?" she asked, obviously embarrassed.
"Ten!?" Ramora blurted, "How?"
She sighed, "Look, before I got to Eorzea, I was bullied by nearly everyone in my village for being so small and for the Echo having me seeing things as a kid, I had maybe a few people i could call friends and my family who cared about me. When I got here, I kinda got pulled into the whole 'hero of the realm thing' so much that when I did finally have time to start looking for someone, I kinda got too scared to start." she looked up at her, "We're Warriors of Light, Ramora, our jobs are to go into fights that most people don't live through. If either of us were to get married or something to anyone, even another warrior of light, they'd constantly be worried about us to the point of insanity.  Is that really fair to ask anyone, especially someone you love, to do that for you?" she asked.
Ramora let that thought sink in before smiling at her and giving her a hug, "Lolzy, I think you should start by finding someone you like enough to date before you start going that deep."
"I guess so." She murmured.
"And I'd hate for you to become a little lonely old cat lady who stays in her house all the time."
"First of all," Lolz said, "If I'm going to be a little, lonely old anything lady, I'll be the wolf lady. And that's badass as all hell and we both know it."
Ramora considered this, then nodded, motioning for her to continue.
"Secondly, I won't be totally alone, I have you and the Scions and the members of the free company I'm in and my other friends..."
"That won't get you any night time company." Ramora reminded her.
"Then I'll live bi-curiously through you." Lolz said, smiling as she dramatically fell to the floor and waved her hand, "Go on, sow your wild oats, my friend, I'll just be here, with the children!" she said, indicating the wolf pups. The wolf Mom rolled her eyes as she finished her meal and curled up to sleep off the steak.
Ramora snickered as she yanked her back up to a sitting position, "I think you mean 'vicariously'."
"No," Lolz said, "I said 'bi-curious' and I meant 'bi-curious' because I dunno what I'm even into."
"Seriously?" Ramora asked, stunned, "But you always manage to find a nice catch for me."
"Yeah, but in my defense, pretty much every type is your type." She pointed out.
"True." Ramora conceded before leaning backwards and spreading her hands to keep her balanced as she closed her eyes and lifted her head back. 
A way to get her friend out there to meet people.
She frowned when nothing came to her right away and then looked down to her rolled up companion, "How about tomorrow, we ask some of the other Scions to watch these pups for us and go out for a bit? You could use the break." 
"So could Mama Wolf." Lolz said, scratching behind the creature's ear, "But I guess with a few of the scions here, she can have some time to stretch her legs out for more than a few minutes every few hours too." 
"Then it's settled! Tomorrow I'll bring a few Scions here to watch your Wolf pack and we'll go out for the day!" Ramora said cheerfully. Lolz smiled, "sounds good to me. And thanks for coming to check on me Rammy, it's nice to have someone to talk to."
The wolf mom turned to her, insulted.
"We don't speak the same language and all we do is take care of the kids or I feed you, that's not healthy. We need our space." Lolz said flatly, the Mama Wolf letting out an amused snort at her before settling back down on the pillow.
Lolz paused, considering what she had just said to a dog, then looked at Ramora, "Yeah, any chance you can stay the night to make sure I haven't gone stir crazy?"
Ramora laughed and agreed before the two set up some sleeping bags in the living room and settled in for the night with Mama wolf and the pups.
---
The next day, after Ramora had dragged anyone not busy at the Scion headquarters to Lolz's house and explained the situation with the wolves in her living room and the passed out woman on the floor.
After convincing them to watch the dogs for the day, Ramora dragged her friend out of her home for a nice shopping trip in Ul'dah.
"I forgot how nice the sun felt when you're out for more than a few minutes." Lolz groaned.
"You hissed at it like a cat when I first dragged you out." Ramora reminded her.
"Yeah, it was bright and you just woke me up after spending half the night taking care of crying baby puppies. I don't know how you slept through all of that."
She hadn't. She had heard and even helped a few times, but she guessed that since her friend had been doing that sort of thing for a week, she was too exhausted to remember that. She still had some pretty big bags under her eyes and was going slower than she normally did, and that was after some powerful caffinated tea and enough sugar to power an army of children.
"I am a woman of many talents." She said instead before she caught sight of something that made a smile curl up on her lips.
"What?" her friend asked eagerly, "You already spot someone you're ready to take home or..." she froze as she caught sight of the same flyer that had been slapped onto the market board;
'Speed Dating'
"Ramora no." Lolz immediately said.
"Ramora yes!" She squealed.
"No!" Lolz insisted, "I can't go speed dating! I don't even know what I'm looking for yet and you're trying to toss me into a figurative wolves' den!"
"Your house is a literal wolves' den." ramora argued, "And you've cooped up with them for a week."
"They're cute and fluffy and that's besides the point!" she snapped.
"Look, Lolzy," Ramora said, "You need to get out there, and while we don't know what you're looking for, this can at least help us narrow down what you either like or hate."
"But Rammy!" Lolz whined.
"Lolzy, I didn't want to have to do this, but you forced my hand." She said, "You know that favor you still owe me for revealing where I lived to a bunch of culinarians who had crushes on me?"
Her friend's green eyes went wide, almost pleading, "Please no..." she begged.
"I'm using it for that." She said, pointing to the flyer, "And you have to do it."
"....dammit..." she grumbled before Ramora began dragging her further into the market place in search for a cute outfit for her date.
---
Ramora took a seat at the bar with a Roegadyn bartender tending to her as she watched her friend sit at a table and await interested parties to talk to. 
She had put Lolz in a lacey white dress, gave her gorgeous jewels to wear, gave her cute boots to give her a bit of height. She did her make up to hide the dark bags under her eyes and put her hair in a beautiful pair of buns before signing her up and watching as she went through the prep with the rest of the speed daters.
As the event began, several people ran up to Lolz and talked to her eagerly, her friend's expression one of shock and surprise before it sank into a flat expression as she said one word and the crowd suddenly swarmed her.
"So, your friend there says you're single?" a Lalafell posed.
Ramora quickly dismissed them (gathering a few details from some of them for later) before looking back at her friend, who sat alone at her table, glancing about as most of the others around her seemed to be enjoying themselves as they fraternized. 
"Come on, Lolzy." she murmured, "Go on the offensive!" 
But her friend wasn't allowed to leave the table, as when she did leave, one of the organizers of the event stopped her and asked where she was going, she had drawn a sitter slip of paper, so she had to stay put.
"I need to use the lady's room." Lolz fibbed, making brief eye contact with Ramora before the woman allowed her to pass, Ramora making her way there too.
When she arrived in the bathroom, her friend looked at her, miserable, "I tried, now can I go home now!?" she pleaded.
"It's barely started!" Ramora cried.
"Yeah, and you're the only one out of the two of us whose gotten any takers and you're not even participating in the event!" Lolz argued.
"That's-" she began
"How many names do you have?" she asked.
"..." Ramora glanced down into the sink and began washing her hands.
"Rammy..." she warned.
"Twelve." She admitted, turning to look at her, "But that doesn't mean you can't find someone here!"
Lolz scowled and crossed her arms.
"Look, can you give it two more hours? Just two and if you don't find someone, we can leave and I'll buy you and your wolves a steak dinner tomorrow."
"Most of them can't eat solid food yet." Lolz informed her before wilting a bit, "But, fine. I'll try for two more hours and then I'm done."
"That's fine." Ramora said with a nod.
They regained their positions and Ramora ordered a glass of wine.
"She a friend of yours?"
"Yes. You interested?" she purred.
"I'm curious as to why she looks so tired." He said.
"Oh, she's been taking care of one week old puppies so she hasn't slept much." she explained.
"Aww." The bartender said, "I love puppies." 
"Who doesn't?" Ramora asked before she told him all about why they were there.
"Well, it looks like your friend has another taker." He said, pointing to the young female Viera who came to her table and slammed her hands on it, "DO YOU LIKE CATS?!" she demanded to know.
"M-my house is a literal wolf's den right now and I think I saw a Miqo'te over there with a necklace with a bell on it?" she squeaked, pointing to the direction she had mentioned. The woman glanced over and smiled at her, "thanks!" and then ditched her.
Lolz was shaking a bit as she looked to her friend, who was just as shocked as she was.
After that, the only people who didn't come to her to send her to somewhere they'd find someone they were interested in were two lalafells, who looked alike who asked if she was alright with threesomes on a first date. ("No") A Hyur who asked if she was old enough to be here before saying that it was fine and that he was into that ("SECURITY!!") A Miqo'te who asked if anyone was sitting in one of the three chairs at her table ("No") and then took it. 
She was creeped out and annoyed by three men who were much older than her before, ten minutes until her deadline was up, an Au Ra walked up to her, dressed up as if he was a peacock.
"This won't end well, will it?" The bartender predicted.
"Probably not." Ramora admitted, "I know him, that's Magnai. He's looking for his 'Moon'."
"And he thinks looking like that will help?" He asked.
"He's desperate, so he's probably not thinking." Ramora sighed.
"I can see that."
He looked at the exhausted hyur and asked, "Are you my moon?"
"No." she said flatly as she held up a blue soul gem from her pocket, "I'm a blue mage. It means I can use the most powerful spell of all."
"Oh?" he said, interested.
Lolz opened her mouth and hacked out a fish bigger than her head that smacked into his face and knocked him to the ground, "It's called flying sardine." she then looked at Ramora, "Can we go home now?"
Ramora snickered a bit and motioned for her friend to join her at the bar so she could finish her glass of wine and pay, "Flying Sardine, really?"
"Toad Oil is nice too, but smacking someone in the face with a fish is fucking funny and you can't tell me otherwise." she said flatly.
"It was funny." Ramora admitted.
"I thought it was funny too." The bartender said as he handed her a glass of red wine, "On the house, we've been watching what you've dealt with, I say you deserve it."
"Thank you." she said, looking a bit relieved at the sight of alcohol.
"And your friend also mentioned that you have week old puppies?"
"Yeah, their mom was attacked by a rabid boar and I couldn't just leave her. then when I brought her home to tend to her wounds, she kinda just started popping them out." Lolz explained.
"When they get a little older, bring them by, dogs, wolves, pups, they're always welcome here."
Lolz smiled, "I'll do that, thank you." 
He smiled and left to attend to another customer, leaving Lolz blushing a bit and smiling.
Ramora beamed as she sang, "Oh Lolzy!"
"Hm?" she said.
"You like him."
"What?" she blurted, shocked, "I've barely spoken to that man for five seconds!"
"You like him!" Ramora insisted, "You WANT him!"
"Oh, come on! I mean, he's nice and all, but I don't see how I can just want..." Lolz said, motioning to the bartender...
Then the bartender bent down and Lolz's wineglass cracked in her hand, wine spilling out into her hand, the color of the wine the same as her cheeks as she murmured, "... want to climb him like a tree and ruin him in so many ways..." 
"AWWW!" Ramora squealed as she gave her friend a hug, "I'm rubbing off on you!"
Lolz could only nod, unable to say much else as the bartender turned around and she looked down at her broken glass, her face still bright red, "You're never going to let me live this down, are you?" she asked.
"Nope!" She said cheerfully as she gave her friend's shoulder a squeeze, "I'm going to share this story at your wedding!"
"W-W-Wedding!?" she blurted, overwhelmed.
Ramora sighed and began soothing her friend's frazzled nerves as the bartender returned and began cleaning up the glass and spilled wine, making sure they were both okay with Lolz stuttering out an apology for the broken glass.
Lolz still had a long way to go, but Ramora was happy to help her friend's first steps into romance. Smiling as she thought how nice 'Aunt Rammy' sounded.
(The girls return late that night and found the Scions cuddling with wolf mama and her pups in their sleep. Then they take tons of pictures and keep them to themselves like little shits. When the pups are old enough to leave their mama and are all adopted into loving homes in Mor Dhona, Mama Wolf is adopted by the bartender, who spoils her with scraps of steak and head scratches, Lolz and Ramora visit the wolves often and continue to call Lolz's house 'The Wolves' Den' because it's funny to them.)
(Submitted by @lolzwaitwhat )
9 notes · View notes
snowblzr · 3 years
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UPDATE: Paranatural
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New comic! Today's News:
I had a lot of fun making this one. I'm proud of it! Thanks for reading!
~
[Transcript]
"We couldn't help but see you and your friends frolicking about earlier, Jean," Paige said, approaching the fire in less of a beeline and more of a parasitic wasp path, "So now you owe us for subjecting us to schmaltz."
Gage hunched along behind her. As he went, he kicked at any rocks and sticks that dared stand in his way, which, to his secret shame, was almost all of them.
"We tried to look away—!" THUNK! A pebble Gage had punted hit a tree, lighting up his little caveboy brain. "Heh heh. But you know what they say about train wrecks."
"Rolling our eyes. The briefest respite for our retinas," added Youth Culture in a font of unsettling stature.
Paige smiled, evidently satisfied with her cronies' contribution to the chorus. "Now that the sun's down and you've moved on to a pastime we can salvage, how about you pay us back by letting us join in? I know some GREAT ghost stories." She leaned in close over Jean's shoulder, luckily choosing the side of him that still had a face to flirt with. "Pretty please? I promise we won't bite."
A pang of jealousy at her familiarity with his crush furrowed young Spender's brow, causing him to miss yet another obvious allusion to the fact that these guys were totally vampires like come on are you kidding me.
Jean, for his part, released another sound that defied onomatopoeia as a flick of Mina's wrist and a zip of supernatural static returned his eye before the new arrivals could notice it was missing.
"I'll take that as a yes," smirked Paige, and she gave Jean a rude little peck on the cheek. It wasn't easy playing the femme fatale in a town with more pine trees than people, not while wearing a bright yellow shirt with a happy cartoon sun on it, but nothing in life was, and Paige was dead.
"You shall NOT!" Spender sputtered out on reflex. He'd spurred his voice on to commanding heights and landed, sadly, at "youth pastor Gandalf."
Despite this, three fanged smiles faded when he spoke, a skillfully muted fight or flight response. Unbeknownst to him, the trio knew his reputation as the strongest spectral well. Unbeknownst to him, it was among the reasons they were here.
Jean's dizziness had begun to subside, allowing him at last to interject. "Look, guys. What he means is... I'm fine, y'know, not ratting you out for slackin' off, and letting you smoke, and smoking with you, and lying and saying it was bears when you break stuff and also shoplifting with you and giving you rides and stuff, but, like..." He pushed a stray hair back behind his ear. "What we have is a professional relationship."
"What HE means," interrupted Mina, "is that he's off the clock, which means right now he's not obliged to babysit."
Three sets of vampire eyes shifted to stare at Isabel, who was busy forming about a billion brain synapses after all that she'd just witnessed.
Mina sighed. "Kids are fine. It's the uncanny valley of adolescence that we're too old to abide tonight." She was more than willing to condescend from atop the year or two she seemed to have on the intruding trio. Mina had already decided that she hated them. It was easy to project the sneering faces of her own childhood bullies onto them, if a little bit unfair. Unfair, of course, because these three were so much worse.
Paige, whose group had been highschool seniors for almost a decade at this point, was similarly moved towards cold disdain... but she fought it down, instead forcing a soft, venomous smile.
"So what I'm hearing is... you DON'T want to know the story of the West Hill Horror."
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colleifromsumeru · 6 years
Text
I MADE A FALSETTOS & BBIEAL CRACK FIC WITH MY FRIEND READ IT OR PERISH
“Thots are scandalous,” Mendel whispered. Baldi sobbed quietly because he was a thot. Cube vored ArtsnCrafters.
“Payback, baby,” it screeched.
“E.” Playtime said. Whizzer died.
“No voring in the halls!” Marvin scolded Cube.
“Whizzer thot,” the Principal seduced into Marvin’s ear saucily.
“He’s dead, lol,” First Prize screamed from the heavens.
Marvin ate ass saucily.
“No eating ass in the halls!” Baldi hissed. “Or I’ll eat yours!”
“Can’t wait,” Marvin winked.
Bully ate a ceiling tile and he had no shame. Then, Whizzer fell through the hole in the ceiling.
“I lived, bitch,” Whizzer beamed.
“Golly gee, Batman. Bet u still can’t solve 2+2, thottie,” Baldi stepped forward, waving a ruler in his face.
Whizzer grabbed the ruler and broke it over his knee. “Takes a thot to know a thot, eggman. Bet you still can’t eat my husbands ass.”
Jason phased through the walls and into the room. “Rise and grind, gaymers!” He cheers.
Mendel sighed and stood, marching over to Baldi and Whizzer, who were arguing over who could suck dick better. “Listen up, homos. Neither of you can suck a dick so shut up and suck eachother’s dicks if you’re so serious about it.”
“I would never suck off a bald man,” Whizzer said, turning his nose up to the offer.
“Takes a bald man to know a bald man,” Baldi jabbed, taking back his broken ruler.
Jason rolled his eyes and walked over to a desolate girl in a red dress, taking a moment to admire her beauty before gently picking her up and PUNTING HER INTO THE SUN.
“GET PUNK’D, LEZI-BOO!” He yelled, dabbing.
“Yeehaw, cowboys!” Trina greeted, entering the room.
“There’s a spooky man T-posing in the halls,” Cordelia says, ducking into the room after Trina.
“No T-posing in my halls!” The Principal yells before taking matter into his own hands.
“Hold on just one cock pickin’ second,” Marvin started. “Where are my pants?!”
“Despacito,” Playtime muses, descending from her trip to the sun. “This is how we do it down in Puerto Rico.”
“What are you doing here, thotticus maximus?”. Whizzer gasped, jumping into File Name 2’s arms. He fell.
“Living life on the edge, babey !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” She responded, tapping his nose and subsequently breaking it. He screams.
“I just wanna hear you screaming, ‘¡Ay, Bendito!’” Mendel sang. Everyone joined in.
“Oh boy, I can’t wait for Despacito 6 to drop!” Baldi exclaimed, entering the room.
“You won’t be alive for Despacito 6, eggman!” Whizzer claimed, jumping out of File Name 2’s arms and pointing a finger at him. Baldi evaporated.
“Death is inevitable,” Jason said from the cornfields.
“What are you doing here, corn boy?” The corn farmer called. Jason hissed and ran away, never to be seen again.
“Oh boy I can’t wait to assault children,” Playtime schemed, rubbing her hands together mischievously.
“Not so fast, scribble-bitch!” Mendel yelled. “The economy is in the shitter and it’s all your fault!”
“Foiled again, croc-burglar!” Playtime shouted. Mendel took his clipboard and threw it at her. She screamed and began to disintegrate. Mendel smiled and threw his last croc at her fiery corpse.
“We needed a new heating system!” Trina cheered, crouching down and warming her hands against the fire/child corpse.
Whizzer crept up behind his husband, rubbing his shoulders before jumping onto them and t-posing, killing him instantly. 5 points to Slytherin.
“I ate ur shoes post up behind walmart, bitch,” Bully whispered into Whizzer’s ear. Whizzer spun around and kicked him in his weirdly shaped head, killing him instantly. 5 points to Slytherin.
“U stole my husband, now it’s time for me to steal yo lyfe,” Trina yelled, swinging in. Whizzer ducked and she hit a wall, killing her instantly. Five point to Slytherin.
“Hey b i heard u talkin shit,” First Prize taunted. Whizzer spun around, clenching his fists when he was faced with what he was up against.
“What do u want from me u boxass-“ First Prize ran him over, killing him instantly. 5 points to Slytherin.
“Despacito.” First Prize said sadly, killing it instantly. Alexa this is so sad, five points to Slytherin.
File Name 2 t-posed on top of Playtime’s body, killing him instantly. 5 points to Slytherin.
Cordelia died, killing her instantly.
Five points to Despacito.
Mendel bench-pressed the Principal, killing them both instantly.
Five points to slytherin, babey !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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“Kyo if anyone bullies you, let me know and illy give them a stern talking to. A nice cold greeting as well.”
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"Oh? So you're allowed to go in on bullies gun's blazin' huh?" There's a teasing tone to his voice as he hears her words. Before he had offered himself to punt anybody who stood in Elsa's way into the sun and she had spoken differently on the topic. Insisted on diplomacy and acting cordial. Now here she was and he couldn't help but be incredibly amused by her response. She really was the big sister he never knew he wanted huh? He smiles, and it's a small but kind smile. "Alright. I'll allow it one time. But after that ya let me deal with any bullies okay? I can take care of um too."
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Alright so apparently you all haven't heard of the magical tale that is "Unlikely Friends, Unlikely Fate" so buckle up
Before Sun, Moon, Bentley and Paxton, there was a FNaC AU Maddy made that is INSANELY canon divergent but here me out it's great
Draw the curtains, hoist the spotlight:
It's sometime supposedly around the nineties, and there's this kid named Roderick. Roderick is lonely. He is also a douche bag. But he has a brother named Vinnie that he loves very much.
Vinnie is a ray of sunshine that loves literally anything and everyone. He is the light of Roderick's life.
Roderick, however, has to raise Vinnie on his own as his actual father is out trying to get the ladies after his wife died (note: I THINK it was due to giving birth to Vinnie, but it's been a while so I can't remember.)
Overtime, Vincella and Roodbark encounter a cast of lovable characters:
Carl, a super extroverted, funny little guy who is the highlight of every conversation and also an idiot most days.
Cindy, a shy but sweet baker who is the twin sister of Carl.
Chester, an awkward but affable tall fella who loves the banjo.
Pedro, the very definition of Napoleon syndrome that also loves to cook and is super close friends with Chester (albeit, not at first).
Kate, probably Roderick's first actual friend who wasn't his brother, a good leader who tries her best.
Chris, a very blunt introvert who's highly focused on work and affectionately by Maddy's Discord friends called "Maddy's bitch".
And Brett, a very bulky, fit dude who has a close bond with Roderick and is important for his arc.
The most notable part about this story besides Freddy's and Candy's is that their arcs revolve around different types of abuse.
Cindy and Carl have a good blend of it, I don't exactly remember how are why but I THINK it had to do with the foster care system.
Chester was severely emotionally abused by his stepmother, who is in-turn one of the most unlikable pieces of garbage and I'm sure you'd all love her.
Pedro was physically abused by his drunk father.
Kate and Brett aren't necessarily TORMENTED per se, more or less Kate has overbearing parents and Brett has over controlling parents. Obviously still terrible but quite tame in comparison.
Chris was horribly neglected by two arguing parents.
And Roderick, as previously mentioned, is victim to a lesser known type of abuse called "parentification"; in which a child has to raise their sibling/parent. Of course, this means Vinnie doesn't really suffer from too bad of a childhood, although the two brothers DO get bullied rather harshly at Freddy's.
Now you may be wondering: Cool, but what's the climax?
Obviously, with all the mentions of "Freddy's" and "Candy's", you can see where this is going.
I don't think Maddy wants me to spoil the Freddy's incident, but it might be swell to know that the cast all slowly dies one by one from a certain SOMEONE who also happens to be my favorite character, and each possess the animatronics most similar to their name (Kate = CAT, Roderick = RAT, Pedro = Penguin, Carl = Candy, Chester = (you'll never guess this one) Chester).
There's also more to the story in the sense that there are Monster animatronics (which have AWESOME designs btw), and my favorite rage-inducing group, the New animatronics (Mouse is the only thing that would get me to punt a child).
But this is just a summary so you understand Maddy's "Unlikely Friends" characters. I will take my bow now and leave the man of the hour in charge.
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recentanimenews · 4 years
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FEATURE: 3 Anime That Teach Us the Importance Of Love and Friendship
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  Recently, I finished My Love Story!!, based on the manga by Kazune Kawahara, and to put it bluntly: I ADORED it. It tells the story of the kind-hearted Takeo, an excitable high schooler who happens to be roughly 19-feet-tall, and his blossoming relationship with Yamato. It also deals with Takeo's friendship with the calm, quiet Sunakawa, and while some might expect a kind of love triangle between the three, or a ceaseless Will They/Won't They dynamic between Takeo and Yamato, that doesn't really happen. Instead, it's an anime about love between friends and how people take care of one another. 
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    This is one of the strongest aspects of anime aimed at the Shojo demographic — many classic ones tell stories that, while dealing heavily with relationships, are often deeply concerned with interpersonal support. The main characters might fall in love or deal with adoration and heartbreak, but when you watch a few, a greater theme becomes obvious: That help and comfort from others isn't just welcome but often necessary for happiness and success. It's really lovely stuff.
  Fall in love with the classics ???? ✨ Watch Lovely Complex, Marmalade Boy, and Boys over Flowers on Crunchyroll today! ➡️ https://t.co/rPchBggFyO pic.twitter.com/jmMHhrwiVa
— Crunchyroll ➡️ 2 DAYS UNTIL #VCRX (@Crunchyroll) August 31, 2020
    Also, before I continue, I think it's important to mention that the titles that fall under the "Shojo" umbrella are of a wide variety. This article is just covering a strong theme from a group of them. Stating that all of them are about people gettin' crushes on other people and nothing else does a real disservice to the genre and is also indicative of the sad truth that many people seem to have an automatic distaste for anything aimed at teenage girls. It's why, whenever people want to make fun of modern pop music, they typically target young female artists. It's a weird cultural reflex that needs to go away.
  Anyway, to celebrate the classic stories marketed toward the Shojo demographic, Crunchyroll tasked me with rewatching three titles in specific: Marmalade Boy, Boys Over Flowers, and Lovely Complex. The first, if you've never seen it, is about Miki Koishikawa, a well-rounded high schooler who learns very early on that, while on vacation, her parents met another couple and they've decided to get divorced so they can trade partners. It would surely be a shock, but it's also a hilarious set-up, mainly because of how nonchalant Miki's parents seem about it. What they're gonna order for dinner is literally a more dramatic ordeal for them.
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    Miki soon meets the other couple's son Yuu, a guy who is the opposite of her personality, mainly because of how aloof he is about everything. And while, in this case, opposites do indeed attract, Marmalade Boy ends up being more about how Miki and Yuu learn to grow from one another, with Yuu becoming more open about himself and his troubles because he treasures those qualities in Miki. 
  Meanwhile, Boys Over Flowers is not only about a middle-class girl finding herself dropped in an elite school full of upper-class jerks and the love triangle that emerges from it, but also deals with friendships between teenage boys. These dudes are quick to bully people at first, but most of them are out of their depth and lonely the minute their group gets disrupted. Boys Over Flowers also deals with classism and the inherent bias that some have against anyone not up to their social standing. And while I won't claim that Boys Over Flowers solves any big systemic problems (Tsukushi should've punted Tsukasa into the sun at a few points), it does send a message about why you should respect others.
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    Finally, Lovely Complex, the story of a relationship between a taller-than-average girl and a shorter-than-average boy, was so delightfully charming at times and a really good example of characters growing together as they learn more about one another. But the best part is that the story doesn't really hinge itself on the "WHOA. SHE'S 5'8. HE'S 5'1. WHATEVER WILL THEY DOOOOO?!?" though it does play it for laughs at points. Rather it's about their own insecurities, and helping each other through them. 
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    Overall, these three series present the idea that falling in love isn't just an exercise in two people slowly trying to make out with one another, but an opportunity to re-evaluate yourself and what you're giving to the world. The relationships make them emotionally healthier people — more empathetic and open and giving. And though, at times, they can feel aged in various ways, they also present the truth that bonding with someone and supporting them, whether they're your friend or your partner, can be one of the best things you can do. 
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      Daniel Dockery is a Senior Staff Writer for Crunchyroll. Follow him on Twitter!
  Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features.
            By: [email protected]
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