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ladyramora · 5 years

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Speed dating

Ramora stood outside her friend's house, a determined expression on her face.

Lolz had been absent for a week and she was now really worried. No one had heard from her, not the Scions, not the Leaders of the Alliance, hell, her annoying 'arch-rival' Asahi had even asked Ramora (in the most insulting way possible) if she'd seen her around.

Ramora had punted the little shit before replying that, sorry, no she hadn't and then decided that it was time she paid her friend a visit.

She knocked on the door, "Lolzy?"

"Hang on! I'm coming!" her friend called, the sounds of barking coming from the other side of the door before her friend opened it, looking disheveled, "Rammy?" She said, her eyes widening, "What's wrong? Is everything okay? Is there a new primal? Do we have to fight the Garlean army? Do we..."

"You have been missing for a week." Ramora said, her expression dark as she put her hands on her hips, "And you'd better have a good reason for that."

"Uh... does saving a pregnant wolf and helping her delivering her pups and caring for them count?" Her friend asked sheepishly as she opened the door to a large, black wolf curled around tiny little dots of moving color, her living room a complete pigsty. Ramora's eyes widening with delight as she entered the house, "I thought they could be good for the main companies since their coats aren't thick enough for Ishgard's terrain. When they're older of course." her friend explained as she ushered her in and closer to the fluffy masses on a giant cushion that probably once sat on a couch.

Ramora plopped down in front of the dogs and the wolf mother growled. Lolz came up from behind her and tapped her shoulder, revealing a nice, juicy steak on a plate, "If you feed her, she'll let you pet her, keep it up and she'll let you hold them." she said.

The elezen quickly snatched the plate and placed it in front of the mother and was pleased that the wolf gave her a small bow of her head before she munched on her meal.

Ramora happily began scratching behind her ear before giving her friend a stern look, not wanting to let her delight at the fluffy house guests effect her scolding Lolz for not telling anyone where she was or anything. "You had everyone really worried when you seemingly vanished for a week. Me especially."

"Trust me, I didn't mean to just vanish on everyone! It's just, well, caring for baby puppies is actually a lot harder than you'd think." Lolz explained as she sat down beside her, "The little ones need to be kept nice and warm, and they need to eat and go to the bathroom so many times a day, and there are times when the mom needs a bathroom break or to stretch and I have to hold down the puppy fort, it's insane! I'm glad they can't move too much on their own yet or my place would be a bigger mess. But it's also really satisfying," she made a soft face, "Kinda makes me wanna have kids someday too." she said quietly.

"Oh?" Ramora said, her interest piqued as she smiled eagerly at her friend, "Have someone in mind? I mean, with all the times you've played matchmaker with me, you probably have one or two in mind..."

The pink haired hyur didn't say anything for a moment, and Ramora suddenly got the feeling that it wasn't due to too many options...

Green and Red eyes narrowed, "Lolzy, you do go out on dates, don't you?"

"Yeah!" Her friend blurted, "Tons!" she then gave her a broad smile that quickly melted under her skeptical gaze like a block of ice in the summer sun.

Her friend sighed and looked down at the pups in front of her and curled into a ball, "I haven't had a date in ten years, happy now?" she asked, obviously embarrassed.

"Ten!?" Ramora blurted, "How?"

She sighed, "Look, before I got to Eorzea, I was bullied by nearly everyone in my village for being so small and for the Echo having me seeing things as a kid, I had maybe a few people i could call friends and my family who cared about me. When I got here, I kinda got pulled into the whole 'hero of the realm thing' so much that when I did finally have time to start looking for someone, I kinda got too scared to start." she looked up at her, "We're Warriors of Light, Ramora, our jobs are to go into fights that most people don't live through. If either of us were to get married or something to anyone, even another warrior of light, they'd constantly be worried about us to the point of insanity. Is that really fair to ask anyone, especially someone you love, to do that for you?" she asked.

Ramora let that thought sink in before smiling at her and giving her a hug, "Lolzy, I think you should start by finding someone you like enough to date before you start going that deep."

"I guess so." She murmured.

"And I'd hate for you to become a little lonely old cat lady who stays in her house all the time."

"First of all," Lolz said, "If I'm going to be a little, lonely old anything lady, I'll be the wolf lady. And that's badass as all hell and we both know it."

Ramora considered this, then nodded, motioning for her to continue.

"Secondly, I won't be totally alone, I have you and the Scions and the members of the free company I'm in and my other friends..."

"That won't get you any night time company." Ramora reminded her.

"Then I'll live bi-curiously through you." Lolz said, smiling as she dramatically fell to the floor and waved her hand, "Go on, sow your wild oats, my friend, I'll just be here, with the children!" she said, indicating the wolf pups. The wolf Mom rolled her eyes as she finished her meal and curled up to sleep off the steak.

Ramora snickered as she yanked her back up to a sitting position, "I think you mean 'vicariously'."

"No," Lolz said, "I said 'bi-curious' and I meant 'bi-curious' because I dunno what I'm even into."

"Seriously?" Ramora asked, stunned, "But you always manage to find a nice catch for me."

"Yeah, but in my defense, pretty much every type is your type." She pointed out.

"True." Ramora conceded before leaning backwards and spreading her hands to keep her balanced as she closed her eyes and lifted her head back.

A way to get her friend out there to meet people.

She frowned when nothing came to her right away and then looked down to her rolled up companion, "How about tomorrow, we ask some of the other Scions to watch these pups for us and go out for a bit? You could use the break."

"So could Mama Wolf." Lolz said, scratching behind the creature's ear, "But I guess with a few of the scions here, she can have some time to stretch her legs out for more than a few minutes every few hours too."

"Then it's settled! Tomorrow I'll bring a few Scions here to watch your Wolf pack and we'll go out for the day!" Ramora said cheerfully. Lolz smiled, "sounds good to me. And thanks for coming to check on me Rammy, it's nice to have someone to talk to."

The wolf mom turned to her, insulted.

"We don't speak the same language and all we do is take care of the kids or I feed you, that's not healthy. We need our space." Lolz said flatly, the Mama Wolf letting out an amused snort at her before settling back down on the pillow.

Lolz paused, considering what she had just said to a dog, then looked at Ramora, "Yeah, any chance you can stay the night to make sure I haven't gone stir crazy?"

Ramora laughed and agreed before the two set up some sleeping bags in the living room and settled in for the night with Mama wolf and the pups.

---

The next day, after Ramora had dragged anyone not busy at the Scion headquarters to Lolz's house and explained the situation with the wolves in her living room and the passed out woman on the floor.

After convincing them to watch the dogs for the day, Ramora dragged her friend out of her home for a nice shopping trip in Ul'dah.

"I forgot how nice the sun felt when you're out for more than a few minutes." Lolz groaned.

"You hissed at it like a cat when I first dragged you out." Ramora reminded her.

"Yeah, it was bright and you just woke me up after spending half the night taking care of crying baby puppies. I don't know how you slept through all of that."

She hadn't. She had heard and even helped a few times, but she guessed that since her friend had been doing that sort of thing for a week, she was too exhausted to remember that. She still had some pretty big bags under her eyes and was going slower than she normally did, and that was after some powerful caffinated tea and enough sugar to power an army of children.

"I am a woman of many talents." She said instead before she caught sight of something that made a smile curl up on her lips.

"What?" her friend asked eagerly, "You already spot someone you're ready to take home or..." she froze as she caught sight of the same flyer that had been slapped onto the market board;

'Speed Dating'

"Ramora no." Lolz immediately said.

"Ramora yes!" She squealed.

"No!" Lolz insisted, "I can't go speed dating! I don't even know what I'm looking for yet and you're trying to toss me into a figurative wolves' den!"

"Your house is a literal wolves' den." ramora argued, "And you've cooped up with them for a week."

"They're cute and fluffy and that's besides the point!" she snapped.

"Look, Lolzy," Ramora said, "You need to get out there, and while we don't know what you're looking for, this can at least help us narrow down what you either like or hate."

"But Rammy!" Lolz whined.

"Lolzy, I didn't want to have to do this, but you forced my hand." She said, "You know that favor you still owe me for revealing where I lived to a bunch of culinarians who had crushes on me?"

Her friend's green eyes went wide, almost pleading, "Please no..." she begged.

"I'm using it for that." She said, pointing to the flyer, "And you have to do it."

"....dammit..." she grumbled before Ramora began dragging her further into the market place in search for a cute outfit for her date.

---

Ramora took a seat at the bar with a Roegadyn bartender tending to her as she watched her friend sit at a table and await interested parties to talk to.

She had put Lolz in a lacey white dress, gave her gorgeous jewels to wear, gave her cute boots to give her a bit of height. She did her make up to hide the dark bags under her eyes and put her hair in a beautiful pair of buns before signing her up and watching as she went through the prep with the rest of the speed daters.

As the event began, several people ran up to Lolz and talked to her eagerly, her friend's expression one of shock and surprise before it sank into a flat expression as she said one word and the crowd suddenly swarmed her.

"So, your friend there says you're single?" a Lalafell posed.

Ramora quickly dismissed them (gathering a few details from some of them for later) before looking back at her friend, who sat alone at her table, glancing about as most of the others around her seemed to be enjoying themselves as they fraternized.

"Come on, Lolzy." she murmured, "Go on the offensive!"

But her friend wasn't allowed to leave the table, as when she did leave, one of the organizers of the event stopped her and asked where she was going, she had drawn a sitter slip of paper, so she had to stay put.

"I need to use the lady's room." Lolz fibbed, making brief eye contact with Ramora before the woman allowed her to pass, Ramora making her way there too.

When she arrived in the bathroom, her friend looked at her, miserable, "I tried, now can I go home now!?" she pleaded.

"It's barely started!" Ramora cried.

"Yeah, and you're the only one out of the two of us whose gotten any takers and you're not even participating in the event!" Lolz argued.

"That's-" she began

"How many names do you have?" she asked.

"..." Ramora glanced down into the sink and began washing her hands.

"Rammy..." she warned.

"Twelve." She admitted, turning to look at her, "But that doesn't mean you can't find someone here!"

Lolz scowled and crossed her arms.

"Look, can you give it two more hours? Just two and if you don't find someone, we can leave and I'll buy you and your wolves a steak dinner tomorrow."

"Most of them can't eat solid food yet." Lolz informed her before wilting a bit, "But, fine. I'll try for two more hours and then I'm done."

"That's fine." Ramora said with a nod.

They regained their positions and Ramora ordered a glass of wine.

"She a friend of yours?"

"Yes. You interested?" she purred.

"I'm curious as to why she looks so tired." He said.

"Oh, she's been taking care of one week old puppies so she hasn't slept much." she explained.

"Aww." The bartender said, "I love puppies."

"Who doesn't?" Ramora asked before she told him all about why they were there.

"Well, it looks like your friend has another taker." He said, pointing to the young female Viera who came to her table and slammed her hands on it, "DO YOU LIKE CATS?!" she demanded to know.

"M-my house is a literal wolf's den right now and I think I saw a Miqo'te over there with a necklace with a bell on it?" she squeaked, pointing to the direction she had mentioned. The woman glanced over and smiled at her, "thanks!" and then ditched her.

Lolz was shaking a bit as she looked to her friend, who was just as shocked as she was.

After that, the only people who didn't come to her to send her to somewhere they'd find someone they were interested in were two lalafells, who looked alike who asked if she was alright with threesomes on a first date. ("No") A Hyur who asked if she was old enough to be here before saying that it was fine and that he was into that ("SECURITY!!") A Miqo'te who asked if anyone was sitting in one of the three chairs at her table ("No") and then took it.

She was creeped out and annoyed by three men who were much older than her before, ten minutes until her deadline was up, an Au Ra walked up to her, dressed up as if he was a peacock.

"This won't end well, will it?" The bartender predicted.

"Probably not." Ramora admitted, "I know him, that's Magnai. He's looking for his 'Moon'."

"And he thinks looking like that will help?" He asked.

"He's desperate, so he's probably not thinking." Ramora sighed.

"I can see that."

He looked at the exhausted hyur and asked, "Are you my moon?"

"No." she said flatly as she held up a blue soul gem from her pocket, "I'm a blue mage. It means I can use the most powerful spell of all."

"Oh?" he said, interested.

Lolz opened her mouth and hacked out a fish bigger than her head that smacked into his face and knocked him to the ground, "It's called flying sardine." she then looked at Ramora, "Can we go home now?"

Ramora snickered a bit and motioned for her friend to join her at the bar so she could finish her glass of wine and pay, "Flying Sardine, really?"

"Toad Oil is nice too, but smacking someone in the face with a fish is fucking funny and you can't tell me otherwise." she said flatly.

"It was funny." Ramora admitted.

"I thought it was funny too." The bartender said as he handed her a glass of red wine, "On the house, we've been watching what you've dealt with, I say you deserve it."

"Thank you." she said, looking a bit relieved at the sight of alcohol.

"And your friend also mentioned that you have week old puppies?"

"Yeah, their mom was attacked by a rabid boar and I couldn't just leave her. then when I brought her home to tend to her wounds, she kinda just started popping them out." Lolz explained.

"When they get a little older, bring them by, dogs, wolves, pups, they're always welcome here."

Lolz smiled, "I'll do that, thank you."

He smiled and left to attend to another customer, leaving Lolz blushing a bit and smiling.

Ramora beamed as she sang, "Oh Lolzy!"

"Hm?" she said.

"You like him."

"What?" she blurted, shocked, "I've barely spoken to that man for five seconds!"

"You like him!" Ramora insisted, "You WANT him!"

"Oh, come on! I mean, he's nice and all, but I don't see how I can just want..." Lolz said, motioning to the bartender...

Then the bartender bent down and Lolz's wineglass cracked in her hand, wine spilling out into her hand, the color of the wine the same as her cheeks as she murmured, "... want to climb him like a tree and ruin him in so many ways..."

"AWWW!" Ramora squealed as she gave her friend a hug, "I'm rubbing off on you!"

Lolz could only nod, unable to say much else as the bartender turned around and she looked down at her broken glass, her face still bright red, "You're never going to let me live this down, are you?" she asked.

"Nope!" She said cheerfully as she gave her friend's shoulder a squeeze, "I'm going to share this story at your wedding!"

"W-W-Wedding!?" she blurted, overwhelmed.

Ramora sighed and began soothing her friend's frazzled nerves as the bartender returned and began cleaning up the glass and spilled wine, making sure they were both okay with Lolz stuttering out an apology for the broken glass.

Lolz still had a long way to go, but Ramora was happy to help her friend's first steps into romance. Smiling as she thought how nice 'Aunt Rammy' sounded.

(The girls return late that night and found the Scions cuddling with wolf mama and her pups in their sleep. Then they take tons of pictures and keep them to themselves like little shits. When the pups are old enough to leave their mama and are all adopted into loving homes in Mor Dhona, Mama Wolf is adopted by the bartender, who spoils her with scraps of steak and head scratches, Lolz and Ramora visit the wolves often and continue to call Lolz's house 'The Wolves' Den' because it's funny to them.)

(Submitted by @lolzwaitwhat )

#this was cute as heck #and funny besides #these feelings #the bromance #the puppies #poor magnai xd #do you like cats?! omg lolol #submission

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hirazuki · 2 years

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I don't know anything about ffxiv but I think you should tell me about your ffxiv blorbos, meow meows, etc anyway :3

Omfg, you know not what you do. Don’t enable me like this XD

I will include explanations for context for your benefit!

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most):

Zenos - basically Lotor, if the abuse had rendered him completely apathetic to life and incapable of feeling things and the only joy he ever found was in brief moments during combat with equally matched opponents

Emet Selch - grumpy theatrical grandfather (he’s actually a great-grandfather) who is honestly responsible for A Lot Of Things of the imperial, genocidal, etc. variety (actually accurately labeled for once!), but in addition to being a very compelling character, his personality and morality are such that, well, I personally can’t really condemn him for anything; I’d be a hypocrite :P

Aymeric - literal fantasy elf prince, precious, reluctant leader, is trapped in his office running his state most of the time, needs to be let out for walks/adventures; extremely competent fighter but also needs to be bubble-wrapped

Estinien - initially presents as the typically reserved, efficient, deadly, quiet-type, but is actually an awkward social cryptid who has no clue how the real world works

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped):

ZENOS - he’s so earnest and honest and open and his face is So Soft T__T

Vrtra - millennia-old dragon whose baby brother energy hasn’t dissipated at all, to the point that mortals can’t help but adopt him <3

Moogles in general - they’re just so round and soft and aggravating, they drive me to violence

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave):

Sidurgu - basically a dark knight/vigilante type lizard boy, Prickly but Soft™, lots of angst, only appears in the questline for one of the classes you can play

Foulques - dark elf rival type character, also appears only in a class-specific questline, done dirty (primarily by virtue of his race...) both in the story and by the story and therefore adopted by yours truly

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week):

Hraesvelgr - reclusive dragon with dog features, tragic past, need I say more? XD

Magnai & Sadu - loud, combat-happy lizard folks who also happen to be hilariously at each other’s throats all the time to the point that it’s a running gag now <3 Both are precious and fun, and I will happily take any amount of screen time with them, either alone or in conjunction with each other

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave):

Zenos - I’m sure you’ve seen me ranting on the bird app, so I won’t go off completely here (just a little, because I can’t help it) but like. UGH. He’s obviously “problematic” with the fandom due to being an antagonist, morally grey, blah blah, the usual, but also his character is so subtly written that -- while I absolutely adore that and eat it up like crazy -- it leads to Disk Horse between people who can actually read his character for what it is and people who just take him at face value as someone who is one dimensional and only “I’m evil, murder good, I like to fight” brainless brawn type of stuff, which is frustrating. Additionally, in terms of context, he doesn’t even really do anything all that bad in comparison to so many other antagonists/villains that get either a free pass or at least some basic understanding/empathy from both characters in-story/the writers and the fandom, but he’s routinely excluded from receiving the same. He’s also a scapegoat a lot of the time, in the sense that things that other characters have done or are responsible for initiating/seeing through, end up getting pinned on him, even though he was either not around at the time they were occurring or he was like... 6 years old lmao. The game mechanics are such that your player character extends a sympathetic ear to literally everyone else, even characters you haven’t known for as long or as well, but the dialogue options presented for Zenos are consistently straight up mean (with two exceptions; one which doesn’t really makes sense to have at that point in the story, given how the story develops? and the other one, comes too late); you don’t even get a chance to treat him neutrally. Your character gets to experience other antagonists’ backstories in-game, but players only know of Zenos’ backstory from extra material outside the game, and he is also routinely excluded from the player character having the chance to actually learn anything about him. There’s such a huge disconnect between what the player character knows vs. what the player knows, and how he is treated by the writing vs. how literally everyone else is treated, and it really tastes like Ye Olde VeeElDee :/ I also see him as the poster kid for abused childhood and ND representation, so on the one hand I guess I should have expected as much, but on the other hand it’s even more like ://////////, especially when the rest of the whole fucking game is written so well. So yeah, lots of controversy here. You’d love it [sarcasm].

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason):

G’raha (nerdy cat boy), Alphinaud & Alisaie (teenage elf twins), Estinien - torment would be harmless and out of fondness, they’re just all very easy to tease

Lyse (I just can’t give a non-biased description of her, I tried, so you can wiki her if you want lmao) - torment would be real and violent, I can’t stand her

Fandaniel - torment would also be real but of a less severe nature than for Lyse, and not out of hatred but just because I think his buttons would be fun to press :)

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell):

Ywain (guildmaster of the Lancer’s guild, Foulques’ former instructor), Alberic (Estinien’s mentor/adoptive father of sorts), Thordan (Aymeric’s father), Countess Ystride (Rielle’s (Sidurgu’s protege) mother), Varis (Zenos’ father) - abusive parental/mentor figures ahahaha XDD

Lyse - no real reason that I utterly hate her other than she annoys me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ lmao

#wayyy more details than you ever wanted no doubt XDD #thank you so much for asking after my new hyperfixation even though you don't go here! <3

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