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the-music-maniac · 3 years

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You ever notice how similar Xie Wang and Han Ying’s stories and character arcs are?

A warning here that this contains spoilers for all of Word of Honor/Shan He Ling. Stop reading now, I reference a ton of shit.

I was actually discussing a couple fic ideas with a friend a few weeks ago, and I got to wondering after thinking about those parallels I could see -

Does Han Ying x Xie Wang exist as a ship?? Is that a thing?? That exists?? Can it please exist??

It has so much potential. There's so many narrative parallels with these two characters.

They're two people who deserved better than their respective endings, who never got what they wanted, because of the manipulation of men who wanted power and would stop at nothing to get it (Jin Wang and Zhao Jing). The manipulation of those who saw them as less then what they were.

They also have similarities in their relationships with their "mentor figures" - Han Ying and Zhou Zishu, and Xie Wang and Zhao Jing. They have quite a lot of differences too, enough that their lives parallel each other instead of mirror, and I just think that their personal experiences could make for a very compelling storyline if these two were to interact. It would be an interesting road to a development of a potential relationship, and moreover an opportunity for both of them to learn from the other and heal.

And real talk? I just want the both of them to be happy tbh (and of course that obviously doesn't need to involve a romantic relationship - I just have no self control. I'd be just as ecstatic about a really good friendship though).

I also know they never interact in the drama - but then again these two are also literally dead in the drama. Reality is what you make it 🤣🤣. And considering how close the Scorpion was working with Tian Chuang - honestly I'm pretty sure you can't really say they haven't met either.

So anyways, I guess reasons why I think this would be a good ship dynamic:

First of all, their relations with their mentors and how it's similar to each other and also not. The resulting potential for mutual support:

Han Ying's dearest wish is to be a disciple of Zhou Zishu's, as he says plainly in that one episode.

The thing is, there could be quite a lot of subtext taken from that - I've read interpretations that he's in love with Zhou Zishu, or at least has romantic feelings for him - a strong crush possibly - which I can plausibly see (I can also see it just being platonic, which I will talk about later). But yeah, a romantic interpretation just because of how strong his devotion towards Zhou Zishu is. The wistful looks?????

In that kind of situation, IF the romantic feelings are two-sided instead of one-sided - which I would like to go on the record and say that with Han Ying and Zhou Zishu, I don't believe it is - and as a result actually becomes something, that type of relationship would not be the most healthy, because there's a very strong imbalance of power. Even if the mentor figure genuinely cares and actively minds the mentee's feelings - the mentee still undeniably has that level of hero worship - it won't ever be equal. We can see that already in Han Ying's case, Zhou Zishu repeatedly tells him to stop treating him with so much formality because he's not the leader anymore and yet Han Ying still remains deferential.

In that interpretation, if that were the case of it being two sided - Han Ying would have quite a lot of similarity of experience to Xie Wang's relation to Zhao Jing -

And here I can talk about how Xie Wang and Zhao Jing's relationship is uh. Kinda sus tbh. Like. That doesn't look like a healthy or platonic father-son relationship and it gives me the creeps. In Xie Wang and Zhao Jing's relationship, I'm more inclined to believe there's some semi-incestous yifu fucking going on than anything platonic, there's just so many sus moments - and if I'm not mistaken they dubbed over a line in the show where it was basically stated plainly that it's not a platonic relationship. Or at least - Xie Wang doesn't view Zhao Jing platonically (and I don't believe Zhao Jing discourages it at all, if anything he actively encourages and guides it to make Xie Wang dependent on him). So we got another setup where it's potentially one sided romantic feelings/hero worship. Or maybe two sided for them, who knows.

But the thing is, while I talked about unhealthy romantic relationships in my section about Han Ying, a fundamental difference between Xie Wang and Han Ying's relationships with their mentors is that Zhou Zishu's relationship with Han Ying would be a lot healthier. A LOT healthier. So much fucking healthier, I cannot emphasis that enough. And that's mostly because their relationship is not two-sided, and because he sees Han Ying as a person.

He cares about Han Ying a lot but not as anything beyond platonic - he views him as a student and a subordinate and protects him as such. Han Ying on the other hand could have romantic feelings for Zhou Zishu. Not in love per se, it feels to me like it could be a mix of a really strong crush with really strong hero worship. I don't think Han Ying truly knows Zhou Zishu's other aspects of personality (yet?? I guess because if we're gonna hypothetically bring both Han Ying and Xie Wang back to life he probably will eventually get to know Zhou Zishu properly), because I doubt he ever showed anything beyond his stern assassin leader type of persona to his subordinates. He was likely caring yes, but in a way that keeps people at a distance. So, a mentor-mentee type of relationship where Han Ying could be crushing quite hard on Zhou Zishu. But still a healthy one, as Zhou Zishu, one - doesn't intend to pursue a romantic relationship with Han Ying - and moreover, although might know about his feelings, or his devotion at least(tbh you'd have to be blind not to), he treats them, and him, with respect. He doesn't try and manipulate Han Ying, or use his emotions for his own purposes. He sees Han Ying as his own person. His affection and regards towards Han Ying remains unconditional, even if Han Ying messes up or doesn't follow instructions. Instructions that, btw, repeatedly try to keep Han Ying out of the line of fire, and makes it clear that Han Ying is to put himself first.

Everything Zhao Jing does however is solely to cripple Xie Wang and make him wholly dependent on him. He's been grooming Xie Wang from such a young age, and his positive regard and care is ALWAYS conditional. As soon as Xie Wang messes up, he takes it away as punishment, and because of how Zhao Jing's made himself the center of Xie Wang's world, that action is devastating to him. He subtly encourages and toys with Xie Wang's regard for him for his own purposes, he tries to make Xie Wang jealous so he works twice as hard to earn back Zhao Jing's attention. And as we see with his intention to eventually discard Xie Wang as soon as he is no longer useful - he doesn't view Xie Wang as a person. He's merely another tool in his arsenal.

The reason why I wrote such a long ass analysis about the similarities and differences between Xie Wang and Han Ying's relationships is because as I mentioned before, one reason I think this would be a pretty interesting ship and dynamic is how these two could help each other. At first, it might be more Han Ying helping Xie Wang.

Xie Wang hasn't ever experienced what a proper and healthy guardian type relationship is like, or even what it means for someone to choose him first. He's a victim of abuse, and should he manage to survive the avalanche at the end of the show, there is potential for him to start to undo all the damage that Zhao Jing has inflicted on him all those years, especially if the man is truly no longer around. And I think Han Ying would be in a very good position to offer him support in that journey. Moreover, if Han Ying has had an experience similar to that, it could be the reason he would want to offer support to Xie Wang. He's experienced a lot of what Xie Wang has experienced, but he's also seen what it is for someone to genuinely care about him, and as a result likely has a more healthy view on that type of relationship. They're similar enough for Xie Wang to potentially not want to push Han Ying away if he ever offers his help, but also dissimilar enough that Han Ying could offer new avenues of thought.

At the same time, if you just read Han Ying and Zhou Zishu's relationship as a really strong type of hero worship, this dynamic could make sense too. Han Ying clearly looks up to Zhou Zishu quite a lot, and on top of that, Zhou Zishu in a way represents everything Han Ying has wanted and couldn't have - aka a family and a mentor figure and a home to call his own. Regardless of if it's purely platonic or not, it's still an infinitely healthier relationship, a parallel to Xie Wang's experience, so the potential of the offer of support remains the same.

Second of all, similarity in origin and life experiences, which is a small thing tbh but still an important thing:

Han Ying is someone I don't know a lot of background on tbh - I presume he doesn't have a family anymore, and somehow ended up in the Window of Heaven. I've read fics where Zhou Zishu was the one to save him at some point and offer him a position in the assassin group, and I'm inclined to take that as a plausible head canon (unless it's actually canon, idk I haven't read tyk yet).

So, in bare bones, he's an orphan who is taken in by a mentor figure, and becomes a high ranking member of an assassin group.

Xie Wang is also someone who no longer has a family - we don't know that much about his background either, but I presume he was happened upon by Zhao Jing in some way - I'm not sure at what age tbh, is it assumed that he was raised by him?? Or maybe in teenage years??

Whatever it happens to be, Xie Wang was taken in, maybe even "saved" by (although if you ask me, he'd be better off without) Zhao Jing.

So in essence it is the same thing as Han Ying's experiences, an orphan who is taken in by a mentor figure, and becomes a high ranking (or the leader of) an assassin group.

And not only that, as I mentioned from the beginning, these two both realize and know, eventually, that they’re being used by men who are desperate for power (Jin Wang, Zhao Jing).

I mention this actually as just an extension of my first point, because while I mentioned that Han Ying very obviously can support Xie Wang in that particular “past grooming and abuse” aspect, there are probably still many hidden traumas and scars for these two from the lives they’ve both lead. Their similar experiences lead to similar choices which helped shape who they are, and as a result, I think these two could truly understand each other and where they’re coming from.

Their personalities would fit pretty well with each other. I think:

I don’t know if my interpretation on how these two are is accurate tbh, so feel free to let me know if you think it’s out of character.

To me, Han Ying seems like someone who would be pretty calm around the people he cares about; responsible, smart, eager to learn, with a steady sort of presence. He seems like someone who would wear their heart on their sleeve around people he trusts too, but not in any overtly obvious way. I think the reason why I get that impression is that, upon rewatch, I could plainly see his worry about Zhou Zishu in episode one, but when I first started the show, I somehow missed it entirely. Han Ying also didn’t show any qualms about admitting to Chengling that he wants to be Zhou Zishu’s disciple - which can be a very personal piece of info. The way he was around Zhou Zishu, and Wen Kexing also gave off an air of innocent eagerness to do well in his accomplishments and for approval. I’m not saying he’s always like this, because I’m rather certain he has a darker side too - as we see with all the characters, no one is without their traumas and no one is without artifice or without complexity. They’re all grey moral in a very human way, and Han Ying is no different. We’ve seen before too that once he’s got his game face on, the man is pretty competent and also ruthless (his conversation with Gao Chong for example) - I don’t think he could be any less if he’s that high up in the Tianchuang hierarchy. But at the same time I can also see him being a bit of a very subtle disaster (almost?? Slightly dorky??) in certain situations, and we can see that kind of peek through when Zhou Zishu and Wen Kexing hijacked his kidnapping attempt and he was kind of like uhh. Okay so, I’m in a choke hold, I think that might be my former commander, so like. Let them go. It’s actually really funny cause while Wen Kexing was telling Gao Chong and Chengling to hurry up and leave, I swear you could see Han Ying contemplating his entire life.

The face of a man confuzzled.

Xie Wang on the other hand, is someone that’s more impulsive, liable to push or be mischievous, less of a steady personality and more like - for lack of better word - an absolute gremlin. A pretty murderous one. It’s a bit hard to tell all aspects of how Xie Wang is tbh, since he has many different mannerisms while talking to different people. With Zhao Jing he has a very subservient, almost dutiful, childlike and innocent air about him, and a sort of. Sa jiao (撒娇) type of demeanor. He craves approval from Zhao Jing, and is just generally very baby around him, and I’m really not sure how much of that is how he actually is and how much of that is him learning that this is the best way to get Zhao Jing’s attention. And tbh I don’t think all of that is grooming, I think Xie Wang probably does have the potential to be as soft or as innocently childlike and happy with others he cares about (just hopefully in a lot healthier way). I think we see his soft side a little with Qianqiao when he gives her the cure. Despite that though, we can still see other aspects of him surface. He makes suggestions and pushes when he thinks Zhao Jing’s refusals are unreasonable, he just goes and does his own thing sometimes (um usually murderous things. Like when he killed Song Huai Ren and told Zhao Jing he’s a traitor). He’s mischievous about some of his actions (after literally stabbing a man, ‘what? he said I should kill him if I have the ability’). He’s a lot more obviously gritty and aggressive and morally grey than Han Ying appears, which I think adds dimension to his character when added in with everything else. He’s also very smart, competent, ruthless - obviously since he runs the Scorpion, but he’s surprisingly fair and almost? Honourable? In certain aspects? And like Han Ying, he does somewhat wear his heart on his sleeve, retains that eagerness to do well and is somehow not as jaded as he could be, as he still finds the capacity to eventually care for a stranger (Liu Qianqiao).

I may be oversimplifying how these two could be, but with their personality types I think they have a lot of potential both in a romantic relationship or as close friends. And in a way that at first glance would probably be puzzling - how in the hell did these two become friends/get together (lmao you’ll see Han Ying in his rather sensible disciple robes and then Xie Wang is just there in his braids, dramatic black outfits, winged eyeliner, etc. 🤣🤣😅😅) but on closer thought, makes sense. Han Ying could be a more steadying presence for Xie Wang, and Xie Wang in turn could help him loosen up a bit more. (That’s kind of oversimplifying it but it’s 5 am where I am rn and I’m too tired to elaborate) I also believe Xie Wang might push Han Ying to be more ambitious, be able to do things for himself more - because Xie Wang went through a process of, everything I do is for someone else, until I realized they were using me, and now I’m going to do it for myself. In that way they could potentially push each other to higher heights in what they do, and they are pretty similar in ideology and morals and previous actions. They both have blood on their hands, and they’re not afraid to be ruthless or do what’s necessary to get the job done. They have their traumas, their complexities and an understanding of what it’s like to put on masks for different people.

The potential for found family. All the found family. Gimme:

This one I feel like is more obvious and changes some things about canon, but the timeline I imagine for if Xie Wang x Han Ying would be a plausible ship is one where Han Ying survives the stealing of the fake glazed armour incident and becomes one of the disciples of Siji (second disciple of the sixth generation????). Everything else would likely proceed in a very similar way (although in this au in my mind Gu Xiang and Cao Weining are alive). And then during the avalanche incident, with WenZhou trapped in the armoury, Xie Wang ends up surviving and they end up finding him somehow.

Whether or not it’d be out of character for WenZhou to save him I think could be explored, but the bottom line is that eventually they would probably take him back to Siji. There, whether him meeting Han Ying goes smoothly or not is up to interpretation - I very much doubt it would be an amiable meeting tbh - in fact I fully imagine it to be antagonistic af at first, considering what opposing groups they used to be a part of and the knowledge of how deadly the other can be - trust would be hard to come by, which makes a slow development all the more interesting. And moreover them becoming friends or dating would likely help Xie Wang into the dynamic at Siji because now there’s a more tangible connection between him and the place, and I can see while he’s getting to know all the people of Siji, eventually thinking of them as family as well. And Han Ying in turn gets another person who cares about him, and for him to care about.

I’ll be honest here and say that I don’t particularly care at this point how realistic or in character it all would be - I need found family in my life I have no self control. Xie Wang and Han Ying my beloveds needs all the good things.

Another possible meeting is just Han Ying being sent to negotiate with the Scorpions instead of Duan Pengju (is that how it went? I’ll admit I’m a little fuzzy on plot points here) and meeting each other that way. There could be moments of understanding while working together, an inevitable kinda separation, and eventually seeing each other again at Siji, after all the shitshow is over. The development could continue from there.

The closer age gap:

I’d like to preface this part with a disclaimer that I’m not trying to bash any other ships that are out there, this is actually just entirely my personal preference.

I don’t really like big age gaps in my ships unless their both established adults - for example in their 30's 40's, even 50's. Even if one of them remains young in body, it’s just not a dynamic I generally like. The most popular ship that comes to mind here is Ye Baiyi x Xie Wang - and all the more power to you if you do ship it tbh, I can see it being really adorable and healing for the both of them, especially since Ye Baiyi never really gets a happy ending either (and he absolutely deserves one 😤😤😤) - but that as a ship dynamic is personally not for me, especially after Xie Wang’s kinda hinted relationship with another man that’s also older than him. Ye Baiyi obviously is ten million times the man Zhao Jing could ever be, and it would be an infinitely healthier relationship anyway, but yeah the age gap thing is just my personal bias.

So I don’t know, I appreciate that Han Ying and Xie Wang are both closer in age to each other. I know there aren’t confirmed ages (I think?) but if I had to take a guess, I’d say I think both of them are probably in their early to mid twenties.

Anyways, it’s literally 5:43 am now where I am, so I think I’m gonna end this way too long post and pass out. Honestly, I’m not even sure if this thing is coherent anymore, I’m half delirious with exhaustion while writing this. I might possibly write a fic or do something about this Xie Wang x Han Ying ship, I might not, but I just wanted to get it out there. It’s a cute idea.

Oh god my eyeballs are burning. Cheers, goodnight.

#word of honor #xie wang x han ying #han ying x xie wang #Han Ying #Xie Wang #Shan he ling #I mentioned WenZhou #so I suppose I should put them in?#CaoXiang #Four Seasons Manor #Zhou Zishu #Wen Kexing #Jin Wang #Zhao Jing #liu qianqiao #word of honor spoilers #spoilers

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writerwhowritesao3 · 3 years

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Director's Commentary on Talk To A Green Tree?

Oh hai!! Director’s Commentary under the cut ‘cause it’s a lengthy one, love.

I wanted to write this story because I wanted to explore the relationship between Billy and Susan. I wrote about their relationship somewhat in my first story, Jump In The Fire, but that wasn’t the main purpose or focus of that fic; the main focus of Jump In The Fire was the beginning of Billy’s relationship with Steve (jumping in at the Harringrove angle) and also setting up friendship relationships between Billy, Nancy, and Jonathan—and, of course, also to “fix” Billy’s relationship with Max.

In Jump in the Fire, I wanted to make it clear that Billy’s relationship with Susan isn’t contentious or bitter—if anything, they have a good-to-okay relationship. Billy has trouble letting Susan in and has very conflicting feelings about her, and understandably so. He’s traumatized and hurt from the fact that his biological mother, Sandra, outright abandoned him with his abusive father when he was ten; he has major trust issues and a fear of abandonment stemming from that.

Still, Billy does like Susan. Loves her, when you get down to it. It would be hard not to like a woman who’s been a maternal figure in your life since you were 11/12. But Billy feels conflicted about his feelings towards Susan for three main reasons:

1) He’s not over his own mother’s abandonment

In all honesty, Susan being concerned about Billy's wellbeing didn't come as much of a surprise. In the four-and-a-half years that she and Neil had been married, Susan had taken her role as Billy's stepmother very seriously. At points, even bordering on "replacement mother" territory. If Billy was being truthful with himself, he didn't hate Susan. Hell, he may have even admitted to liking her. And if Billy was feeling extra introspective, he would have admitted that the only thing that compelled him to keep Susan at arm's length was that he still wasn't over the fact that his own mother abandoned him. (Jump in the Fire, chapter 4)

2) He’s angry that Susan doesn’t stop Neil from abusing him (although he acknowledges that it really isn’t her fault...and as mentioned in another chapter, she doesn’t know how bad Neil gets when she’s not home)

Of course, there was also the lingering and maybe-unreasonable resentment that Susan was unable to stop her husband from beating him. But in all fairness, his own mom couldn't do that either. (Jump in the Fire, chapter 4)

2) He’s afraid to acknowledge his feelings because he’s afraid that one day, Susan will leave Neil—and Billy—, taking Max with her.

The other great thing about his dad not being home was that the mood around the house was a lot lighter. It wasn't anything overt or obvious, it was just the general atmosphere. Billy wasn't as tense; even a little more jokey with Max and Susan. He and Max didn't have to watch their language as much. Even Susan seemed just slightly happier and more relaxed when it was just the three of them in the house.

Billy noticed it. He'd been noticing it for years. And it scared the shit out of him. (Jump in the Fire, chapter 11)

There’s also another reason for Billy’s conflicting feelings: he thinks that accepting Susan as a mom or mother figure would be a betrayal to Sandra (who he has not spoken to since he was 10...)

"Sounds good," Billy smiled softly. "I'm gonna go to bed."

"Yeah, you should," Susan said. "It's late. 'Night, honey."

"'Night, Mom," Billy said as he turned around to head to his room.

He didn't realize what he had said until he was halfway down the hall. Didn't realize that the word "mom" had slipped out of his mouth so effortlessly. He didn't know if Susan had caught the slip. Couldn't bring himself to look back to see if she had noticed it or even heard it. Couldn't help but wonder if, on the chance Susan had caught it, she minded. Or if she resented it because she wasn't his mom. Or if she didn't care either way. Unable to stop his mind from going there, Billy wondered how his actual mother would feel about him calling another woman "mom."

Billy went to sleep that night with the terrible feeling that he committed some horrible, irreparable betrayal. (Jump in the Fire, chapter 11)

Chapter 12 of Jump in the Fire is the first time I wrote anything from Susan’s perspective. In those sections, I wanted to make it clear that Susan not only loves Billy and considers him to be her son, but that she has absolutely no intention of abandoning him. Susan is an adult woman and so she has the insight and emotional maturity to understand why Billy has a hard time fully trusting her and letting himself relax around her.

I also wanted to make it clear that although Susan knows that Neil hits Billy, she doesn’t actually know the full extent of it. She has her suspicions, and that’s absolutely part of the reason why she chooses to stay married to Neil: she does not want to leave Billy alone with him.

ANYWAY

I’m writing Talk to a Green Tree to further explore the mother-son relationship between Billy and Susan because I didn’t focus closely enough on it in Jump in the Fire. The fic is written in both Susan and Billy’s perspectives.

The first three chapters of Talk to a Green Tree are about events/ moments that occur pre-Hawkins and the last three chapters are about events/moments that happen when they’re living in Hawkins.

The focus on two of the chapters are actually mentioned in Chapter 5 of Jump in the Fire.

The first chapter takes place during the first year of their new family. As mentioned in the chapter, Billy gets horribly sick when he’s 12 years old, and Susan takes a week off of work to stay home with him and take care of him.

(spoilers if you guys give a shit lol) The next chapter to be published (Chapter three) takes place the summer before they move to Hawkins, when Billy is 15 (almost 16). The chapter is about Billy being drugged and raped at a party and how the next morning, he lets himself be (almost) completely vulnerable with Susan.

...with the anger came guilt—guilt at feeling angry at Susan because, fuck, she did not deserve that. When he was twelve years old, about seven months after Susan and Neil had said their vows, a severe flu had gone around Billy's school; Billy had caught it. Susan had taken a week off of work to stay home with him. She had kept him hydrated, made him soup, rubbed his back when he threw up. Even helped him into the bath when his 103º fever broke and he felt clammy and sweaty and weak from the illness.

And then, of course, there was the incident in June, a week before Neil broke Billy's collarbone. When Neil was on a weekend trip with his work buddies and Billy had gone to a college party he had no business going to. Had gone to a party and came home at two in the morning, blasted out of his mind despite only drinking one beer. Had spent the entire next day going from curled up and shivering in bed to kneeling on the bathroom floor with his head in the toilet. He had stuffed his blood-stained underwear to the bottom of his trashcan, double-bagged it, and tossed it into the neighbors' trash bin that night.

Susan had taken care of him as best she could with the very limited information that she had. Had given him water and held his hair back, even when he was just dry heaving. Had fucking held him when he cried and cried and couldn't stop.

"Did something happen at the party?" Susan asked softly, rubbing circles onto Billy's back. He shuddered and nodded into her tear-soaked neck. He was practically in her lap. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No," Billy gasped out. He took a few shaky breaths. Tried to get his tears under control. Failed. "Please don't tell my dad," he begged.

"I won't, sweetheart, I won't," she soothed. She stroked his hair. He cried harder. "I got you, honey, you're okay."

She kept her word and she never pushed him to tell her what happened. She never even brought it up again. (Jump in the Fire, chapter 5)

That chapter is honestly tricky to write. The first part is in Billy’s perspective and actually goes into exactly what happened to him and the second part is in Susan’s perspective, starting with being woken up at 2AM because a sorority girl brings a very out-of-it Billy back home, going into her being pissed off that Billy a) lied about where he was going and b) seems to have gotten so shit-faced that he’s violently ill the next morning...and then having the horrible realization that Billy is probably not just hungover and then having the awful, instinctual feeling that Something Happened to him.

ANYWAY

I guess at its core, Talk to a Green Tree is about the formation and evolution of a blended family that’s affected by domestic violence and trauma. And it’s about Susan really doing her best to be a good mom to Billy...and about Billy eventually being able to trust Susan and acknowledge to himself that even though Susan isn’t his mother, she is his mom in every way that counts.

This was very fucking rambly haha.

#harringrove #billy hargrove #susan hargrove #susan mayfield #stranger things #harringrove fanfic #stranger things fanfiction

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sienna-writes · 4 years

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Butterfly Blood // update 1

woo! first writing update on this WIP so far! (Finally!!). Since I don't want to include huge spoilers on this book, as I might one day end up publishing (who knows), I will be splitting these posts into chatting about my process, character development, edits etc. and then include extracts that aren't too spoilery! I think it'll be okay for the first sections of the book, especially as alot of the first few chapters is character building and imagery to set the scene, tone and atmosphere.

Also, the working title of "Bleeding Out" that I HATED with a PASSION is finally gone! My novel is now called Butterfly Blood based on a excerpt way in the future of the story. (Which I'm very excited to share c: )

I wrote the prologue after I’d finished the first chapter, to introduce the book and it’s mystery in a more captivating way than it had initially been introduced.

Frog finds himself underground in the middle of a forest with no knowledge of his surrounds, his past, or his identity. He clings to one certainty, that he is and was raised by frogs. (This book is a bit wack, just roll with it.)

As he crawls into the middle of the road, a truck starts hurtling toward him and careens off the road last minute. The driver drops down and searches for for Frog, but cannot find anyone.

There is no blood, no screaming, no mangled man wailing on the ground. Reluctantly, the driver withdraws from the dark and locks himself in the enclosed cabin of his truck, steadying his breathing.

As the exhaust sputters to life again, and tires tug against the initial friction of the gravel, the disappearance twists the driver’s thoughts.

His passenger clings with sticky tree frog palms to the trucks stomach; well-oiled organs huffing heat and fumes onto his face.

So this book actually began with a very horribly written chapter. The structure was a mess and for some reason I kept bombarding the reader with information about my main character Rowan and really pushing forward the idea that she’s an energetic person... Which was stiff and just poor writing, honestly. (Also, I've changed my ideas since about how I want to characterise her.) But out of the 3000 word (approx) start, there were salvageable aspects, and those went into the first chapter along with a lot more fleshing out of the scenes, setting and character. I also finally decided on a tense and perspective after being super inconsistent with it and unable to make my mind up.

But! We got there in the end, I just thought I’d share my struggle since writing is not a perfect process and there is a lot of rearranging, and sometimes it feels like pulling teeth.

The premise of this chapter is to set the scene of Blackerwick (a fictional, dreary british seaside town), introduce Rowan (our main character), and the complex relationship with her father, who has become insular over the past month before the story starts.

—excerpts;

A little world building and set up!

Everything about the sleepy town Rowan’s family had moved to is soaked in a distinct achromatic despondency. Inland residents slumped and slogged in their routines, never caring to change them, almost afraid of living. It had confused Rowan at first when she’d come here from Ireland at fourteen, how much the dull town contrasted its landscape. It seemed undeserving of such beauty; a tall mountain range to the left of Blackerwick, and beyond it a city; wide stretches of moors headed toward the forests, and beyond the forests—the ocean. It was as if all the world’s natural beauties had congregated here millions of years ago as the earth slid into place, waiting for settlers to enjoy it. They didn’t even seem to notice.

Fading out of view behind her, a mangle of dark rooftops mesh amongst each other, a severe contrast to the pallidly painted house fronts, and chimneys slice into the sky, puffing endlessly on their pipes.

Hot air is exhaled from the horizon, tugging striking, unruly orange hair from her heavy ponytail as it whistles past her face. She closes her eyes peacefully against the feverish winds, her clothes buffeting and pounding as if fighting it off. Grinning, she leans toward the sea, trusting its breath to hold her weight.

In the course of this chapter Rowan has had an altercation with her teacher and gotten a detention, pushed through the forests toward the beach, and now is returning home. She rouses her dad’s attention by feigning a headache, because he doesn’t bother with her unless he sees she is in pain etc. Now for some quality mild gore!

Turning, she leans in to hug him when she realises there’s blood gushing from her nose.

“Oh shit! Shit, shit, shit! Not again!” Rowan scoops shaking hands to her nose, tacky blood spilling over her fingertips. “Dad, Dad!”

He is already on it, tipping her head back into his cupped palm, holding tissues tightly to her nose. She wheezes and sputters, the world spinning as she lurches toward the sink, clinging to the draining board to keep her balance. Everything red, the four walls of the kitchen, red. Her blurring vision, red. Everything bleeding like her gums beneath grinding teeth as she bites down on the impulse to say something. She wants to scream, or throw up, head swimming as her world tilts upside down. Her skull rests in her father’s strong palm, a fleshy safety net.

Wash your mouth out with soap, ma’am.

I was considering having Rowan not swear around her father, but her mother is pretty aggressive and her dad (Karmen) swears regularly, so it doesn’t seem too outrageous anymore. (I could never, my mum would flip).

When the bleeding slows finally, and her chin closes in on her neck again she notices her father’s shirt is covered with dried, grubby gore. It looks like he is bleeding out from a deep gash notched into his chest. His heart clawed savagely from its dwelling.

Karmen being a worried dad is best dad;

“You said not again.” He says finally, as she gathers herself, filling glass after glass with water and gulping hungrily, throat tilted toward the sky.

“I’ve been getting more than usual recently.” She replies nonchalantly.

“That’s shouldn’t be normal.” He says.

Rowan shrugs, “I’ve always been prone to bleeding and bruising.” As if to defend herself or prove her case, she pulls down her jeans slightly, revealing a black contusion on her hip. It fades into swarthy purple and blue; a gradient discolouring her pale freckled skin; a deep ink blot, as if the flesh had been punctured with a fountain pen.

Her dad hisses sharply. “How did you do that? I told you not to go into those woods anymore!”

Ok! Enough blood! I really made nosebleeds overly dramatic lol.

Anywho!

the first 2000 ish words of this chapter follow Frog (he's later named Mint), and let me tell you, his perspective came so naturally, and was such an interesting world view to write in. I'm not saying i like him, but I enjoy writing him for sure.

This chapter was initially 2100 words and I intended it to be a brief introduction of mint, but I merged it with the next one because I thought they joined together nicely. The other aspects of this chapter introduce more of the friend group (honestly the only relevent characters within this group are Damian and Jamie, the rest are low-key assholes) and set up later events.

—excerpts;

Mint is wandering in the forest, and hunting.

He slinks into step with the deer as it rises, shaking his head as it shakes its placid mane. Serenity slices the air in two.

Frog strikes.

The blade almost glitters in the air as it shoots toward the limpid animal’s vulnerable throat, veins pulsing beneath frosty, translucent fur. Incorporeal beast. A surreptitious streak in the night, headfirst, embedding with a gurgle and a coarse, barbaric scream. Deer’s aren't meant to sound like this. Like a human, like something capable of feeling and hurting. Frog wriggles the blade out of its fleshy sheath and exhales into a whistle. He looks gleefully at the drowned grass damp with blood. Gushing over his squirming toes.

Its crown tumbles to the soil, antlers embedding deep into the foliage at Frogs feet. He sits beside Stag on the floor laden with pine needles--wreathing its glazed face like christ’s crown-- and strokes the un-bloodied fur of its forehead, holding its unblinking, waxy glare. Frog is the victor.

Frog/Mint is hunting! He kills a stag! Then he brutally dissects it;

Peeling away at the thick membrane enshrouding Stag's skull, with tender interest, Frog carves muscle and fat from its head, pellucid and opaline, dropping the pale crumbs of carcass onto the ground. The deer’s dense ghost is not yet cold in his crimson tinted hands.

Rowan feeling numb, because oh boy us writers like to see our characters in pain;

The water is scalding. Rowan breaks out in goose bumps. Catching her reflection in the rippling bathwater she almost doesn’t recognise herself. Flushed, pale cheeks. All sharp edges, cheekbones slicing beneath the eyes, graceful slanting nose scooping down into a slight point. Her lips protrude from her face, full and large, accommodating an easy smile. Rowan pulls her downturned lips into a small grin. The constructed happiness blurs in the water. Holding her breath, she leans into the baths hot grip, filling with her fiery hair.

The silence smudges in her ears.

I also wrote some banter-y dialogues but I think I'll share them another time... After they've been edited.... a heck ton... There's an over exaggerated smoking description in this chap too but I've shared that before heh :)

I hope you enjoyed this LONG overdue chapter update! So far there are 7 chapters, so I have a lot of updating to catch up on! :)

I don’t have a tag list at the moment, but if you’re interested in this wip and want to be on it, then please send me an ask or a comment and I’ll add you :)

Tag list, ask to be added or removed;

@alicewestwater @elaz-ivero @coffeeandcalligraphy @hanwatchingmovies @sirfitzroys @chloeswords @nev-953

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uozlulu · 4 years

Text

@sestet asked to see the mall earthquake scenes I scrapped from the first draft of that TodoBaku soulmate AU fic. So I’m going to post them under the cut with additional commentary for context.

Please keep in mind everything below the cut comes from a first draft so it’s sloppy and rough because I don’t go back and rewrite/tweak/edit until after the whole first draft is done.

BnHA/MHA manga spoilers may apply

In context, this fic is a 110,000+ fic that starts when the soulmate connection manifests and so far extends well into third year (and will probably finish a while after graduation).

The soulmate connection is an ability to sense your soulmate’s emotional state at all times. If your emotions are identical then the soulbond, called the resonance, will vibrate and increase your ability to use your quirk. In romantic situations there’s a hum more than a vibration, which does not increase your quirk.

These scenes take place in third year. At this point in the story, Todoroki’s been rebelling by wearing a ring for a long while, Bakugou and Todoroki have been dating for a few months or so. Bakugou’s mentor right now is Miruko and Todoroki’s mentor right now is Gang Orca. Todoroki also spent some time in second year having Present Mic as a mentor during some Council shenanigans. Bakugou, Todoroki, and Yaoyorozu are the Big Three. Midoriya ran off to deal with AFO and dropped out of high school on his eighteenth birthday. Todoroki told Endeavor his plans to be an underground hero in a dramatic hospital room confrontation, and Bakugou’s been on a trajectory to mature in such a way by the end of the fic he’s not as King Explosion Murder as he was as a first year. That way all three of them have the dream they started out with on day one changed by the end of the fic. Best Jeanist also turned into a nomu at one point and was declared dead later. Bakugou, Todoroki, and Yaoyorozu have been helping keep an eye on Eri, who wasn’t really prepared for Midoriya to just disappear, but has been coping with it since. Also, Natsuo is with the League of Villains after Dabi kidnapped him to save him from Council shenanigans the previous fall or so. Dabi died almost a year ago. The Todoroki siblings know Dabi was Touya. Not sure how much of that will be relevant to these sections but I figured they were some high points that might get referenced briefly or eluded to.

This first version of the mall earthquake scenario is set just before Christmas in the story and about two months after Bakugou and Todoroki had their quirks swapped for about a week. Bakugou’s POV will begin (though I’m probably going to keep this bottle rocket Bakugou section for the final draft in some form) and the POV will change every time you see a ~

===

Midterms ended and third years gained more privileges. They would be pro heroes in only a few months and needed the freedom to go to interviews and find housing. Their first licensing exam opportunity was in January, but the selection process started in lieu of licensing. Some people who proved themselves in the field but had an off day might work in offices until they passed the next available exam. Other agencies would not guarantee a position if a candidate did not receive their lisence accordingly.

This Sunday it was Bakugou’s turn to watch Eri after lunch. Yaoyorozu and Todoroki were out and Miriio was too busy studying for exams to come this week, but promised to visit more often after exams.

Eri rushed up to Bakugou and took his hand gently. “Can we make bottle rockets? Please?”

Bakugou blinked and then grinned. “Yeah.”

Eri already had all the materials. She even decorated the popsicle stick stabilizers with glue and glitter. “I watched a show on TV about it,” she said, “and I want to figure out how to do it.” She pointed to lines on the bottles. “I measured water and marked them for the vinegar. We need to make packets of baking soda.”

They took the equipment to the Home Ec room. Eri carefully measured out baking soda into paper towels and Bakugou helped her tie them at the ends. They attached the sticks to each bottle with more glue. Each rocket represented a different ratio of baking soda and vinegar. Each bottle also marked different amounts of vinegar.

Kirishima paused at the door. “Hey guys. That looks interesting.”

Eri explained the plan to Kirishima and soon all of them headed out to an empty part of campus with the rockets.

“You get to pour the vinegar but I’m doing the baking soda,” Bakugou said. He was not going to be responsible for Eri taking a bottle to the face or any other preventable mishap.

“But –” Eri stared up at him e a long moment. Neither of them looked away. Bakugou’s face remained firm. “Okay,” she agreed.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to do it?” Kirishima asked Bakugou.

“You just want to be the one to launch it.”

“So do you.” Kirishima snorted.

Bakugou rolled his eyes. “Alright. One bottle at a time.”

Eri put a funnel into the first bottle and carefully poured vinegar until it reached the line. She handed it to Bakugou along with the corresponding baking soda packet.

Bakugou stepped away, placed the packet inside and set the bottle down. He headed back over to Eri and Kirishima just in time for the vinegar to soak through the paper towel enough to create the reaction and send the rocket popping up into the air.

Eri wrote the results in her notebook and soon they prepped the second rocket. It shot up higher and then arced before zooming off haphazardly to the side.

Eri finished pouring vinegar into the third bottle and sealed the vinegar jug.

“What do you think will happen this time?” Kirishima asked.

“I think this one will go even higher,” Eri said. She smiled and handed the bottle to Bakugou. She turned to Kirishima for the last baking soda packet and then stared up at him.

Bakugou followed her gaze. Kirishima froze in place. His eyes scanned the horizon.

“Earthquake,” Kirishima said. He knelt on the ground. “Get down!”

Bakugou did so and Eri mirrored their positions. Her gaze shifted in the direction Kirishima stared. Soon Bakugou heard the rumbling growing steadily louder. The ground seemed to roll underneath them as it vibrated. Fire erupted as a gasline bursta few blocks away. The ground kept moving. Kirishima moved so his body protected Bakugou and Eri’s heads from debris. It lasted seconds but it felt much longer. The quake began to ebb the sound traveled into the distance. Sirens rang throughout the city.

Kirishima stood up and helped Eri to her feet. Bakugou stood up and brushed the dirt from his hands.

“Let’s pick our shit up and get it inside. We’re going to find Yagi.” Bakugou grabbed the unused bottle. When teachers and students were expected to assist local heroes, Yagi always took care of Eri.

Eri nodded. She picked up one of the straw bottles. Kirishima got the other. Bakugou grabbed the vinegar jug. Bakugou’s phone buzzed.

Yagi: I am at the teachers’ office. You can leave Eri with me. I’m sure Nezu will ask you to assist soon.

Both Bakugou and Kirishima’s phones buzzed simultaneously.

Nezu: Hello, students. Due to the powerful quake in our area, we have permission to assist locally if you have your license. If your mentor requests your assistance elsewhere, you have permission to assist them. Those without licenses, await teacher instruction. To those off campus, be alert and aware. Be safe! Plus Utra!

After dropping Eri off with Yagi, Bakugou and Kirishima raced to the dorms to suit up. Some of their schoolmates were already heading to the school gates. Bakugou forewent his gauntlets since major explosions could be more detrimental than helpful in this situation. He hit the gates at the same time as Kirishima, Jirou, Uraraka, and Shouji. All of them moved as a unit into the city.

~

It was Todoroki’s first time in a mall that had nothing to do with work. There was so much to take in, so many things to look at. There was anything any type of quirk might need here and even things unrelated to quirks like books, music, and other forms of media.

Yaoyorozu adjusted the strap of her purse. “Sorry about asking you out here, but our time at the thrift shop was kind of fun and I didn’t want to invite someone who might accidentally invite Kyouka. I know Christmas is more than a month away but you never know when they might need our help again.”

Todoroki nodded. “I need to think about Christmas too.” As far as he knew, none of his family observed Christmas. Everything he knew about it he learned from pop culture and his classmates. Everyone who dated someone always made a point to get their partner something nice. When Yaoyorozu mentioned getting something for Jirou, it did not take long for Todoroki to want to get something for Bakugou too.

Yaoyorozu looked at him with a smile and said, “I guess we just dive in and see what happens.” She bounced excitedly on her heels. “Let’s go.”

They tried music, but Jirou had such a broad taste and so much music neither of them could be sure what she did and did not own. They tried books, but they did not seem the right fit and Todoroki found his mind wandering. Quirk themed gifts seemed too personal. There were a lot of stores that seemed too cheap. After a while they bought crepes and settled down on a bench in the middle of the mall. Todoroki nibbled at the strawberry filling. He did not really focus on anyone or anything, but sometimes his eyes swept the crowd or checked the exits.

“Earthquake!” someone shouted from far away in the mall. “I can smell it!”

Before Todoroki could fully consider how someone could smell an earthquake, it began to jostle the mall. Todoroki and Yaoyorozu got under the bench. Displays toppled. Glass shattered. The lights flickered. The ground kept shaking along with their bones. It seemed to last forever and then it moved on and away from the mall.

Yaoyorozu rolled out from under the bench. “Excuse me,” she said and then ate what was left of her crepe still in her hands in three large bites.

Todoroki’s ate what was left of his crepe and put its wrapper in his pocket. His eyes scanned the immediate area. One of the shops emergency gates fell during the quake. Everyone he could see appeared dazed but uninjured. He looked at Yaoyorozu.

They headed towards the sound of the glass. Their phones buzzed but they could answer later. Shards of glass began appearing on the floor, crunching under their boots. Three of the safety panels used to keep people falling from the floor above dislodged in the quake, the glass bursting across the concourse for meters. Todoroki sent out an emergency code like he might if he was working for his internship.

“Please remain where you are,” someone said over the intercom. “Heroes will be with you shortly.”

“We should move them before the aftershock, shouldn’t we?” Yaoyorozu asked quietly.

“Is that safe?” Todoroki looked at her.

Yaoyorozu’s eyebrows drew together. “Is it safer to let them go through the aftershock in glass fragments?”

Todoroki was not sure. He scanned the area. They were the only people able to help. “I can see if a store will let us transfer them inside.”

“I’ll make a stretcher,” Yaoyorozu removed her coat and tied it around her waist. She pulled her shirt up so it exposed her mid-drift. “It might take a bit. I’m going to make it folded and then unfold it.”

“That’s fine.” What were their other options? Todoroki sent out an emergency code as he would if it was during internship hours.

A nearby clothing store willingly started moving racks so they would have room to put the injured. Yaoyorozu’s stretcher helped speed up the process. Those that got caught in the glass tried to take shelter in kiosks and under benches. Winter clothing helped prevent many injuries but there were some with multiple fragments embedded in their skin. There was no ideal way to move anyone without causing pain. Todoroki carried those less injured and helped those that could walk. Yaoyorozu used the stretcher to transport the worst injuries. They brought the last of the injured to the store just in time for the first aftershock.

The mall shook even more than it did the first time. People cried out in pain. More glass fell in other parts of the mall. There was nothing they could do until the shaking subsided.

~

It was dark. The moon set not long ago. The aftershocks at first grew more intense before gradually diminishing. Now they were barely noticeable. Bakugou stared at another him, just as tall, wearing the same exact clothes. He was several evacuations into the earthquakes now. They were finding people who did not make it out of buildings in time more than survivors. He almost could not process this.

“Camie.”

“Bingo!” Camie held up a finger. Her pro-hero costume was not much different than her high school hero costume except she no longer wore the hat. “We have a problem nearby, and I heard you shouting, so I told my boss I could bring one explodey boi to help us.” She looked at Shouji, Jirou, Tokoyami, and Kirishima. “Actually all of you can come too.” Her gaze returned to Shouji, “If that’s up top with you, Sensei.”

“I’m also a student,” Shouji said. “We can assist anyone who needs help, so it’s okay anyway.”

Almost everyone who worked for the same agency as Camie had quirks that lent well to infiltration and not so well to search, rescue, and recovery. Hero and civilian disaster crews continued to work together. The aftershocks grew weaker. The body count began to rise. Bakugou and Kirishima helped move debris as they helped search for those still alive. A family huddled together did not move and no longer breathed. Under them was another family barely alive.

Kirishima’s jaw remained firm. His eyes reflected the streetlights coming on as the sun set. Bakugou looked away and kept working. Uraraka vomited nearby and offered a quiet, “Sorry,” before turning to lifting debris with her quirk. Shouji and Jirou worked together, Jirou listening intently so they could track sounds of potential survivors and target their efforts accordingly. Camie worked wherever she could lend a hand. The night grew colder. They kept working.

Bakugou stepped away from the wreckage. His breath condensed in the air. Something waved in his immediate vision.

“Noms?” Camie asked, twirling a protein bar in her fingers.

Bakugou grabbed the protein bar. It was the only savory and palatable flavor the brand made. “Yeah.”

Camie opened a matcha flavored protein bar for herself. She slowly shifted her weight from one leg to the other, resting as best she could. Flurries settled onto her hair. She let her breath cloud in the air on purpose.

Bakugou ate slowly. He let his chin hide from the wind in the collar of his coat.

“I want to work together again,” Camie said, “as a team.”

“Infiltration isn’t my thing,” Bakugou said.

“I know, but I’m a subcontractor. I work with everybody.” She put her trash in her pouch.

Bakugou’s phone buzzed.

Nezu: Hello students! Curfew is still in effect. Remember to communicate and bring proof if you are late. Plus Ultra!

Bakugou looked at the time on his phone. He frowned. He still had the energy to keep going, to keep helping. Four more months and no one would be able to stop him.

~

The mall remained standing. There were bigger problems and needs across the city. A vacuum hero appeared to help with the glass. Paramedics were slow to arrive. With each larger quake, more glass fell. Everyone took to the stores for shelter. Even then there were still injuries. The food court caught fire three times. Eventually the aftershocks were almost unnoticeable. The glass was gone and everyone could go home. Stores began cleaning up their messes. Todoroki and Yaoyorozu offered to help rearrange the clothing store and clean up the blood, but the manager and employees had it under control.

When Todoroki and Yaoyorozu exited the mall, their phones buzzed with Nezu’s curfew reminder. Snow flurries spit out of the sky at random. Todoroki let his fire quirk circulate to keep his left side from becoming too cold. They passed by people rebuilding tracks, working to fill sinkholes, and pulling survivors and corpses from buildings. There were still so many things to do, so many ways to help. Todoroki looked at his phone. He had several messages directed at the agency in general for help from various points throughout the city. His news alerts were filled with shots of the damage and everyone helping the major sites.

“I’m glad we were there to help,” Yaoyorozu said, looking at her own phone. “I know there were bigger crises but how many other smaller ones got ignored or put off accidentally?” She lowered her voice so only Todoroki could hear even though they were alone on the street, “How many villains get created that way?”

Todoroki put his hands in his pocket. “Now you sound like Midoriya.”

“I’ve been thinking about it. I know I shouldn’t.” Yaoyorozu sighed.

“Why shouldn’t we?” Todoroki looked up at the sky as flurries turned into a thin snow shower. “Shouldn’t our job also be villain prevention?”

Yaoyorozu did not answer immediately. “I’m not sure if I’d go so far as to work with them.” She looked over at Todoroki. “What about…?” she paused mid-sentence. “No. I probably shouldn’t ask.”

“I don’t know yet. I’ve got other things to handle first.” Although if Midoriya or Natsuo appeared and needed his help, it would not be a hard choice to help them.

Iida, Tokoyami, Ashido, and Asui joined them as they neared UA. Todoroki offered Asui his left arm. She sleepily croaked and latched onto the warmth. By the time they hit the gates, there was a steady stream of students from multiple years and various disciplines.

Todoroki barely had his dorm slippers on when a flash of red zoomed towards them. Eri hugged Yaoyorozu tight. Yaoyorozu hugged her back just as tight. “I’m home,” Yaoyorozu said.

“Welcome home,” Eri returned. She let go of Yaoyorozu and looked at the other students. “Not everyone came back.”

“They’re coming,” Asui said. She rested her hand on Eri’s head. “I’ll clean up and we can wait for the others together.”

Eri nodded. She retreated deeper into the room where Yagi stood next to one of the tables. It looked like they were playing cards.

Todoroki took to the stairs with the others. He glanced back over his shoulder at Eri and Yagi. Eri watched the doorway, her cards in a fan. Todoroki turned his attention forwards. He knew everyone was capable of doing the job, surviving, and returning. He had not questioned it once. He felt Eri’s worry at the back of his brain. He tried to ignore it.

~

The ground opened up and swallowed them whole. Uraraka slapped Bakugou and Jirou hard in the arms, causing them to float. Shouji spread his wings. Uraraka clamped her hands over her mouth. They all took to the air and watched a sinkhole open up along the road leading to UA. Sirens echoed throughout the city. The sky was completely dark. From this height, they could see stragglers returning to campus and crews working various sites. Buildings around the sinkhole cracked and distorted. None of them had lights on inside, but that might just indicate a power outage more than vacancy.

“I sent security a message,” Shouji said. “They know what happened.”

“I’ve activated an emergency code,” Jirou said.

Bakugou and Uraraka landed on the north side and Shouji and Jirou landed on the south side of the sink hole.

Uraraka fell to her knees and vomited along the side of the road. Bakugou’s eyes swept the houses again. There were no lights or signs of movement at the windows. She cleaned out her mouth with some water and then walked over to him.

“I bet we wait at least half an hour,” Uraraka said.

“Probably.” Bakugou let off a series of sparks.

Snow continued to fall at a steady light pace.

“Reminds me of summer training,” Uraraka said.

Bakugou’s gaze shifted to her. Her eyebrows drew together and she stared at one of the dark houses nearby. “Where were you?”

“The east side,” Uraraka said. She almost bristled at the memory. She took a deep breath and shook her head to clear it. “I’d like to think it doesn’t go on here.”

“It’s why they’re one of the top ten safest places in Japan. Probably true for all of them.” Bakugou shook the snow from his hair.

“Disgusting.”

“Yeah.”

Uraraka opened her mouth and then closed it. “Someone’s coming.”

Bakugou followed her gaze. Sure enough a group of construction heroes were heading their way, hopping from roof to roof as they traveled. Once they arrived and took over the scene, the students continued to UA.

When they arrived at the dorm almost everyone was in the common room. Bakugou had only seconds to react before Eri hugged him tight. He frowned and put a hand on her head. Eri slowly let him go.

“Welcome home. We were worried,” she said.

Were they? Bakugou glanced past her at the other students. They were busy making a hotpot for all to share. His gaze returned to Eri. She greeted everyone and then went back to helping make the hotpot. Bakugou’s teeth grit together. Midoriya just had to take off months ago. Bakugou didn’t want to think about it right now. He headed upstairs to clean up and make sure the hotpot was not turning into a disaster.

===

So, I scrapped the above version because I realized it would work better after New Years. Wasn’t completely sure where to use it so I chose Valentines Day to shake things up since it’ll be the third Valentines Day in the fic.

Again, this is third year. Bakugou’s the first POV.

===

Rain fell against the overhang splashing down to the concrete below. A sea of umbrellas entered and exited the mall. Bakugou watched his breath rise into the air as Todoroki scanned the posters. They should have looked at what movies were in theaters before leaving UA.

“What about this one?” Bakugou gestured to a poster with three adventurers running away from a propeller plane wheeling towards them engulfed in flames.

“Isn’t it supposed to be a romantic movie?” Todoroki asked.

“Probably.” Bakugou scanned the posters. Valentines Day was on a Sunday this year. Todoroki suggested catching a movie after they finished lunch.

“What about this one?” Todoroki asked. The poster had several couples on it with a slime monster rising up in the background in an ominous heart shape.

For a brief moment Bakugou felt the burning suffocation of slime invading his airways. He swallowed and scanned the posters again. “What if we hit up the arcade?”

The arcade had many different types of games and gaming modes. Several people already crowded into the room, gathering around the games as they played by themselves and with friends. As Bakugou and Todoroki walked up, a group of students vacated one of the dance games.

“I’m going to kick your ass,” Bakugou said.

“We’ll see,” Todoroki said.

The game was both simple and hard. Each time they stepped on the board, it lit up with multi colored footprints and sparkles. The split screen directed them how to step, allowing for as much freedom of movement and flair as two people on the platform could allow. The song was fast and the beat easily hit each step. When the game finished, Bakugou put his arms up in the air, ready to claim victory.

It was a tie. The same score. The same “Excellent!

Fuck that.

“Again!” he said at the same time Todoroki said, “Again,” in a firm but quieter tone.

They tied again. Bakugou won. Todoroki won. More ties. Were they about to sink all of their tokens into this stupid game? Definitely. The resonance vibrated. The dance beat pounded. The game flashed and glowed. People gathered around to film their dance off. Bakugou ignored them. He was going to win unquestionably.

Suddenly his feet slipped out from under him, throwing him towards Todoroki, knocking them to the platform. The ground continued to shake, growing and growing, rattling bone, teeth, and flesh. Bakugou rolled so he could protect Todoroki’s head with his body. He found his jacket nearby and put it over them. The ground kept shaking. Glass shattering echoed from the concourse. Children cried nearby. Games toppled. The power flickered and went out. Slowly the room stopped shaking, the building stopped singing. Everything was still. Everything was dark.

Bakugou let go of Todoroki and sat up, making sure to angle his jacket so any debris slid off. One by one cellphones illuminated. There was a chime not from the speakers but maybe some kind of projection quirk.

“Please remain where you are. Help is on its way. Sorry for the inconvenience.”

“Are you okay?” Todoroki asked.

“Yeah.” Bakugou barely registered his phone buzzing multiple times in his pocket.

The generator kicked in and the power returned. Bakugou and Todoroki got to their feet and immediately headed towards the overturned games that pinned people to the ground. Bakugou wiped his face and then wiped his hands on his clothes.

“I’m Shouto, this is Ground Zero,” Todoroki said.

“We’re going to move these things, so some of you have to move,” Bakugou added. “Now.”

Customers that could move cleared sections of the floor. Bakugou and Todoroki lifted fallen games off people and placed them where they would not fall on top of anyone else. Bakugou went to check how the rest of the arcade faired while Todoroki did what basic first aid he could to help the injured.

“Get down Ground Zero!” someone shouted.

Bakugou knelt just in time for the aftershock to begin. He grit his teeth and then consciously relaxed his jaw when the vibration grew too great. The power flickered but remained on this time. The games remained against the wall this time. When the quake subsided, Bakugou continued his assessment.

~

The aftershocks kept coming. The power went off and came back on repeatedly. The customers resituated themselves into safer positions. The voice kept reminding everyone to stay where they were, promised help would be on its way. So far there was still only Todoroki and Bakugou in the arcade. Once he treated everyone injured, Todoroki reported the situation to Gang Orca’s agency.

Todoroki: At the central mall arcade, second floor. Injuries and damage. No sign of other heroes nearby.

Todoroki enabled a paramedic alert. The agency responded with automated messages confirming it received both messages and would handle them accordingly. If the mall was this damaged, other buildings would be too. Who knew who might respond. All the hero agencies would need to coordinate and handle whatever was in front of them.

“Can we go?” someone asked.

There was a chime and the voice repeated the stay where you are message.

“No,” Todoroki said.

“Thanks Captain Obvious.”

“You’re welcome.” Todoroki headed towards the front of the arcade.

Bakugou met him within sight of the main entrance. “The professional heroes already here are assessing the situation,” he said. “They’re going to start evacuation.”

Todoroki gazed out at the rest of the mall. Glass particles spread everywhere, many panels from balconies on other floors coming lose and smashing in the quakes. Some lights were also gone and several displays were in disarray. Yaoyorozu and Jirou stood at the mouth of one of the shops on the third floor making a similar assessment.

Jirou looked at him and then gave one thumbs up and one thumbs sideways. Todoroki returned it. Their situations were probably similar with some injured but nobody so serious it was life and death.

There were enough rescue and recovery heroes to go through the floors and assess the situation. Medical emergencies left first, uninjured left second, and the injured and their companions left last. Some were taken to the hospital and others were patched up and advised to see their doctors if their injuries worsened. Each aftershock was weaker than the last and the gaps between aftershocks grew longer. That did not mean their work was over.

By the time Todoroki and Bakugou left the mall, it was dark. Sirens echoed through the city. Various helicopters and flying quirks flew through the air with purpose.

#adventures in fic writing #sestet #i don't know what to tag this

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toothpastecanyon · 5 years

Text

We Walk Like Humans Do, Chapter 1

The Transcendence has been, on the whole, a good thing for magical creatures... for the ones that walked on two legs and fit in doorways, at least. Lacie has other problems to overcome before she can live in the big city.

Inspired by @marshmellowextract‘s ideas on the TAU Discord.

See most updated version on Archive of Our Own.

________________________________________________________________

The Transcendence has been, on the whole, a good thing for magical creatures. True, there’s been no shortage of misunderstandings and pro-nat sentiments over the years, but all those centuries of hiding away from humans had been just as harmful.

Humans are everywhere, after all. Avoiding them means avoiding most places on Earth, holing yourself away in dwindling forests and as-of-yet unexplored cave systems. Some could pass as human and live in their cities, but pre-Transcendence accounts of disguised elves or vampires often spoke of the burden of carrying such an immense secret, the disconnect they felt with any humans they befriended. They could never truly live as themselves.

For some magical creatures, the Transcendence changed that. The Transcendence let them live freely amongst the humans, let them attend their schools and work alongside them to better the world.

For some magical creatures, the Transcendence was the single best thing that had ever happened to them.

For others?

Well… for the less humanoid ones, they didn’t notice so much of a difference. For Lacie, she was still hanging out in the same old sewers she’d been hatched in.

After all, when you’re a giant basilisk several bus-lengths long and capable of killing a man with a single glance, there are more obstacles to living in the city than ‘not feeling like you can be true to yourself.’

________________________________________________________________

A snore rumbles through the depths of London’s sewers. Deep, deep underground, somewhere in a maze of rank-smelling tunnels sloshing with wastewater, there lies a hidden door, and behind that door slumbers a vicious, terrible monster guarding a tome of forbidden knowledge.

That’s how the treasure hunters always describe Lacie’s home on the forums, and honestly, she finds it a little insulting. They’ll go on and on about how much the place stinks and how loudly she snores; it’s like they expect her to fix it or something, and… no? This is a sewer, it’s going to smell bad. And she needs to sleep, so it’s going to be noisy, too.

If they’re gonna come down here to try and slay her and steal her shit, the least they can do is stop being so goddamn whiny about it.

Like, look at these bozos coming in now. Lacie was having such a peaceful nap until they started messing around with the hidden door.

She cracks a tired eye open, and glares at the sound of their voices.

“No, it’s this one!” A rock shudders on the wall. “Didn’t you read the riddle? You touch the symbols clockwise!”

“How did you get clockwise from the riddle? It’s way more complicated than that; the cipher clearly states-”

“A-B-C-D. Clockwise.”

“No, that’s- ABCD? Where on earth did you get ABCD?”

Lacie lets out a rumbling sigh. Incompetent treasure hunters, oh joy. She shifts a little bit on her pile of gold, and waits for them to bumble their way into a solution so she can go back to sleep.

“Look, I don’t know how you’re getting ABCD, so why don’t we try my way first, and if mine doesn’t work-”

“It’s absolutely not going to work.”

“It will! I took a class in cryptography once, I know how this works.”

“Ooo, aren’t you special.”

“Look, just let me work, will you?”

“Do it fast. Ugh, it smells like death down here.”

At least it’s more bearable than your voice, Lacie thinks. She snorts at her own joke before hooking her tail around a wooden sign and dragging it in closer. She’ll need this later - quite a while later, most likely, but it’s good to be prepared.

“That didn’t work?”

“Of course it didn’t work, you idiot. I’ll open it-”

“Hey, wait, maybe I did that wrong! Let me try that again!”

“No, you had your chance!”

“Just let- hey, get off me!”

“No, you get off me!”

“Come on dude, just let me try-”

After listening to the treasure hunters scuffle and shout at each other for what felt like forever, Lacie hears a click in the door’s opening mechanism. The whole thing starts to rumble and dust loosens from the ceiling as it opens inwards, revealing… well, she doesn’t look at them directly in case they’re dumb enough not to bring basilisk protection, but she makes out two human figures with rifle-shaped sticks, which they immediately point at her face.

“There it is!” The first man ushers the other back. “Stay behind me!”

“Stay behind you? Dude, I’m a way better shot.”

“What? No way, you are not!”

“I totally am. Don’t you remember back at the range-”

Lacie lets out a hiss before they can get into another stupid argument. She points the end of her tail at the sign, and it takes them a second to notice.

“It’s doing something weird.”

“Quick, let’s shoot it!”

“No, look, that’s a sign it’s holding!” The second guy peers at the message. “Says ‘Fighting not needed, can’t let you take the physical book but am posting all chapters online at https- wait, you have a website?”

She nods. A blog, actually.

“Don’t be stupid.” The other guy gives him a shove. “There’s no way it has a website; this is some sort of trick!”

“Yeah… yeah, you’re right! Wait, how is it a trick?”

“Obviously it’s to confuse us and distract us from getting the treasure!” He cocks his rifle. “We have to stay focused! Stay behind me, I’ll get this thing right between the eyes-”

Lacie finally looks down at the guy. Their gazes meet, the guy’s eyes widen; he yelps and staggers back, dropping his rifle and slapping a hand over his face… but he doesn’t drop dead. A second later, he peeks out behind his fingers.

“I’m… still alive!” He cackles. “These contact lenses really do work!” Ha! Take that, you dumb lizard!”

The other guy high fives him. “Yeah, take that! Now let’s kill this thing!”

Huh, they’re slightly more prepared than she thought. Lacie stares at his smug smile a moment longer, then swings her tail around and dashes both of them against the right wall.

There are no contact lenses that protect against blunt force trauma. They let out short-lived screams, cut off as soon as their bodies crash against stone; there’s a chorus of splintering cracks, then silence as they crumple to the ground amongst a pile of other shattered skeletons.

Lacie looks at them now. Listens to all the familiar noises that could be heard in the absence of their voices - the dull roar of running water, the drips that fall from the ceiling and splash in puddles, the tinkling of gold coins as she shifts her weight.

All the things she could hear, now that they were dead.

Does she feel bad?

Eh… sort of.

She feels... more frustrated than anything else, these days. It’s not like she doesn’t give them a chance to escape, and they are trying to kill her… but still. It’s such a senseless loss of life - especially for such young, stupid humans - and over what? Some useless book?

She turns and glares at it now, sitting on its little lecturn at the far end of the room. Stupid thing.

One day, she will be free of it.

But for now, she’s tired. She lays her head on glittering gold, closes her eyes, and falls asleep to all the quiet, comforting sounds of her home.

She probably starts snoring, too… fuck, they’ve made her self conscious about it.

________________________________________________________________

Chapter 7 of Wizard Animago’s Not-So-Secret Spellbook - His Shitty Death Spells and Why They’re Not to Die For, Seriously

Hey everyone, this is 18Lacie5 back with another chapter overview. I know it’s been a year since I last posted, sorry about that. I’m usually way too tired to work on one of these - the joys of being cold blooded in England. Annnnnyyyyywwwwaaaayyyy, here is the much-anticipated chapter on ol’ Animago’s secret death spells!

Spoiler alert: it’s gonna disappoint you.

Now, for anybody new reading this, Sironus Animago was a 19th century English wizard that specialised in the study of animal transmogrification. If you don’t know who he is, that’s because he was a recluse who hated humanity so much he spent half his life trying to turn himself into literally anything else. The only time anybody hears about him is generally in treasure hunting circles, concerning a riddle he left behind for ‘any man worthy enough to learn his secrets.’ It is said that he wrote a spellbook containing all the knowledge he had accumulated over his lifetime, and considered it so dangerous he bound a basilisk into guarding it after his passing.

Well, I am that basilisk, and I’m here to tell you why Animago’s spellbook is stupid and absolutely not worth dying for.

This chapter’s an easy one: his death spells suck. Even by pre-Transcendence standards, they suck. He wasn’t the slightest bit interested in offensive magic, and I’m pretty sure he threw these ones in here because hey, every spellbook’s gotta have a spooky scary dark magic section, right?

Let’s examine the first spell of Chapter 7: ‘Planis fugere a mortalis huius’ (a moment of silence for that Latin.) So ‘fly away from this mortal plane(s?)’ sounds pretty and all, but it’s way too poetic to be a reliable spell. Unlike the standard modern equivalent, which is, you know, just ‘Die’, your magic’s gonna have to figure out a whole lot about this sentence before it puts it into action. Fly away, how? Where are they flying to? What could count as our ‘planis’ here? The ground?

You see how easily this could result in something like giving your enemy a pair of wings instead of killing them. Great. That’s totally what you’d want to happen in battle, right?

This issue would have come up immediately in testing, which leads me to believe it was a purely theoretical spell of Animago’s, and not a particularly good one (but hey, at least it’s original this time, right?) As with all of them it does come with the minorly unique addition of alternate pronounciations in five different animal forms, but again, unless you’re turning yourself into a chicken, a dog, a hawk, a bear or a snake on a regular basis, when are you ever going to need this?

All in all, probably the worst chapter in the entire spellbook, with sloppy, overly complex incantations I’d toss away in a heartbeat if not for the fact that I’ve been bound into protecting them. Next post, we tackle chapter 11: turning your furniture into animals!

(Because that’s what your couch is missing. Teeth and claws and an ability to run away from you.)

Do s both a favour, and don’t make me kill you over these shitty spells.

Curled around her favourite pile of gold, Lacie scrolls down her blog, reading its contents with drooping eyes. She uses her tail to move a laptop’s trackpad, which makes it a little difficult to navigate - the frustration she feels whenever the clicker shoots off in random directions is the main reason she’s still awake - but not as much as one might be expecting, as the laptop is not an ordinary laptop.

It’s gigantic. The screen is bigger than her, and the top almost scratches against the ceiling. Carefully balanced above the wet stone on four smaller gold piles, the charging port is wired up to a truly massive, glowing purple power strip. It hums with magical energy, charging her laptop as she gets to the end of the blog post.

‘Do s both a favour ’... ah, typo. Lacie shoves her mouse in the general direction of the edit button for a few seconds before landing on it; now she clicks, adds a u, and struggles her way back to the main page.

Fixed. That was totally worth the effort.

She lets out a snort, which turns into a great big yawn and leaves her head resting on top of the laptop. The metal’s got some warmth to it; she feels that against her cheek, and almost immediately starts struggling to keep her eyes open.

This was a mistake, she thinks. Come on, she literally just got up! She can’t go right back to sleep!

Just a little more time… to herself… without any… any humans… she was supposed to... to...

The distant whoosh of water overhead and the steady hum of the power strip lulls her closer and closer to sleep, and she tries one last time to lift up her eyelids-

And plop.

A little water droplet lands right in her eye, and she jumps. Rises up, blinks rapidly - first to get the blurriness out of her vision, then to get rid of the sleepiness already creeping its way back in.

She shakes her head to clear it. Once she’s mostly awake again, she lets out a triumphant little puff of air: not today, sleep! Not when she’s got shit to do!

With that, Lacie turns back to her laptop and mouses over to another tab, titled ‘List of Craig’ and next to it, ‘(1)’ for one new message. She’s been waiting for that (1) to show up - hopefully she hasn’t taken too long to respond back.

The tab opens after she jabs left click a couple times, revealing a short chatbox:

L at 20:25: [is that double length chalk shipment still available?]

M at 20:35: [yes]

L at 20:36: [would be very interested in buying that, are you are ok with teleswitch methods of payment? you don’t have to wheel it anywhere, just let me know where it is in the house]

Fifteen whole minutes later at 20:51, there’s the much-anticipated reply:

[k]

Lacie reads this, and has a sudden urge to smack her head against the keyboard. With a growl rumbling in her throat, she gets typing

L at 20:52: [okay, where is the shipment in your house? what room? the spell i use needs this.]

She sends it off… and waits, scowling at the chatbox.

And waits...

And is still waiting. Stars, maybe she could’ve taken a nap.

Speaking of that, her eyelids are starting to droop again. She huffs and shakes her head in a couple quick, flicking movements; that jolts her back awake, and she clicks back to her blog page.

The latest post on chapter 7 stares back at her. In the dim-lit room, it’s glaring down on her, almost accusingly.

Next post, it reads, we tackle chapter 11: turning your furniture into animals!

Post updated: less than two minutes ago

Post uploaded: more than two years ago

Lacie sighs. This is what happens now when she takes a nap.

Years, they’ve begun to pass her by like nothing . All she remembers of the past two are groggy hazes, half-recalled dreams; the only times she’d wake would be to fend off the occasional treasure hunter, then back to her slumber she’d go, like that was her only purpose in life.

It didn’t used to be this way. She didn’t used to feel so tired all the time. Why?

...She’s getting too big for her home. The magic that sustains her, it isn’t enough anymore.

That’s got to be the explanation.

Which means she’s got to get out of here. She’s got to break that damn binding that tethers her to the spellbook…

Lacie shoots a look at it now. Glares at the stony grey lectern it rests on, and everything piled around the base of that. The wax candles. The incense burners. The unholy artefacts. The tomes upon tomes of academic research, summoning circle references, nonstandard incantation guides…

She has to break it.

By any means necessary.

…

She’s got a new message from the human.

M at 21:13: [I put it outside for you. Its in the back yard. Your welcome.]

With an eyeroll, Lacie wraps her tail around the lectern’s pole and brings it in closer. The spellbook slides precariously around the surface it’s resting on, but with a bit of care she places it down in front of her without anything falling off the edges.

Now, the book - she peers at it now.

As always, it looks like a mess; its leather binding had been handmade by Wizard Animago himself, but only because the guy was too paranoid to have anybody else do it. He did a sloppy job, and over the centuries it had fallen to pieces until the only thing holding it together anymore was a couple remaining strings and a headache-inducing cocktail of protection charms.

For Lacie, it’s tiny, making it incredibly hard to flip through. She can’t help but wonder if it had seemed this tiny the last time she’d opened it… maybe she’d grown a little bigger since then.

Stuffing that thought down, she keeps flipping; past Chapter 2 on transfiguration, past Chapter 3 on general transmutation, Chapter 4 on alchemy… Chapter 5, there it is.

And bingo bongo, there’s the spell she wants: ‘Sironus Animago’s Telekinetic Switch’... and Lacie can’t help but snort at that name, because it isn’t actually a spell he invented.

Like many less-than-reputable wizards of his time, he had a habit of stealing spells from contemporaries in other fields of magic, slapping his name in front of them and trying to pass them off as his own to pad out the number of chapters in his spellbook.

(The internet was a terrible invention for guys like him. Lacie had a lot of fun ripping into this practice when she wrote about Chapter 5.)

Anyway, while she could find the original spell anywhere on the internet, there is something Animago added to every entry he wrote down in his book - that something is off to the far right, almost obscured by the yellowing and curling of the page.

Here, next to five simple illustrations of a chicken, a dog, a hawk, a bear, and a snake, are the alternate pronounciations of the spell.

Lacie squints at the last line - her mouth moves as she refamiliarises herself with the incantation - then she nods to herself, and scoops up a generous portion of gold coins, and closes her eyes.

Pictures a backyard, with a crate full of summoning chalk, just waiting for her to pick them up.

And with that in mind, she speaks.

Not in words. Not in a language. She speaks in hisses and spits, in a string of meaningless noises that fit better in her mouth than any human tongue. At the end of it, though, that specific arrangement of sounds triggers an enchantment, which triggers the telekinetic switch.

The coins in her grasp blink out of existence. A second later, they’re replaced by a crate of summoning chalk. It rattles when she picks it up; the sound echoes around her room until she puts it down by the rest of her demon supplies.

There’s a lot piled up there now, Lacie thinks. Enough to summon a demon, and at that, she grimaces. Suppresses a yawn.

She’d better get on with it, then.

________________________________________________________________

Lacie is starting to think that maybe demons don’t design their summoning rituals with basilisks in mind.

She’s cleared a space in her room for the circle - has shrunk her laptop back down to normal size with one of Animago’s spells - and now that it’s time to draw the thing, she’s encountered a problem.

Have you ever tried to draw a chalk circle on wet stone tiles? Have you ever tried to do it without hands?

It is, in a word, difficult.

Fortunately, she’d seen this issue coming from day one. She bought a shape template from some website selling school supplies, and blew it up with the same sizing spell she uses on her laptop. She put that over a stone slab she pulled off a drier part of the wall, traced the circle, and voila! A summoning circle.

(She still needed to decorate it, but she’d rather intentionally chosen a demon with a simpler design. It didn’t take too long to replicate, all things considered.)

Now onto the candles. To Lacie’s eternal disappointment, there’s no spell on the books for fire, or heat, or anything like that; she has to get creative. While rifling through the backpacks of some ex-treasure hunters, she comes across a portable gas cooker. The ignition is a simple switch she can flip - tick tick tick fwoom , it goes, then fire.

She keeps that close to her, ready to use.

After that… The incantation. She physically can’t pronounce the Latin chants needed to perform a sufficiently compelling summoning, which is a big problem. Most powerful demons - ones powerful enough to break bindings - tend to be rather picky about how they’re summoned. Unless it’s done exactly right, they won’t bother showing up for her.

She needs a demon that’ll be a little more forgiving, and after pouring through textbooks, how-to guides, summoning lists, there’s only one name that seems to fit the bill.

Lacie lights the candles, one by one, and watches as the circle of Alcor the Dreambender begins to glow.

Strange things begin to happen. Shadows lengthen. The air gets colder - she feels that like a punch in the gut. In the centre of the chalk lines, a wispy black smoke forms, and golden eyes open from within the darkness.

Those eyes… Lacie isn’t used to being scared of things, but she stares into those eyes and knows, suddenly, definitively, that she isn’t the monster in the room anymore.

They turn to look at her now, and-

“Ow!” The void-black being winces back, rubbing its forehead. “What the heck? It’s like a migraine… what is this?”

She blinks. Huh, her stare works on demons. They didn’t mention that the summoning guides.

The demon’s straightening again. “Is this a binding? Because guys, I’m gonna be real annoyed if you tried… to… to bind me with..? Guys?”

It looks around the circle in confusion… then up, up, following the line of her body to meet her eyes again.

“Oh.” It gives a hard blink. “Ow, okay. You know you’re supposed to give me a sacrifice before you sic me on the big scary snake monster, right?”

Shit, it doesn’t see the sign. She holds it up higher.

“Like, at least a little bit of candy for starters, y’know? Just to be like ‘Hey, I appreciate you for coming all this way’ and I’ll be like ‘Thanks! Now I actually feel motivated to save you from-’” It notices the sign, and pauses. “Um. Hang on a second, I’m missing something.”

Lacie watches the demon read over the sign: BOUND TO SPELLBOOK, it reads, DEAL TO BREAK BINDING IN EXCHANGE FOR HUMAN SACRIFICES? Its glowing eyes steadily widen, and it glances back up at her.

“Wait, you summoned- agh!” It blocks her stare with a hand. “You summoned me?”

She nods.

“Okay, that’s… new. What did you want again… spellbook... break binding to spellbook- human sacrifice?” Its eyes narrow. “Where are these humans you’re talking about?”

Putting down the sign, she points at the pile next to the door. Most of them are bones by now, but hey, apparently some demons like that. She watches this one inspect them.

“Oh, they’re… not fresh. Where did they all come fr- ow ! Okay, please stop with the staring, that’s not gonna work for me!” When she obligingly averts her gaze, he lets out a sigh. “Thank you. Now, uh, I kinda wanna know where you got all these bones from?”

He sounds way more bothered about that than Lacie thought he would. A little panic fluttering in her chest, she flips the sign over and grabs her carving rock.

“What are you…? Oh, you can’t talk, can you. Alright.” It shuffles its feet. “You wanted me to break a binding… I can see it now. Connected to that book over there?”

Out of the corner of her eye, she watches Alcor float closer to it. Closer, closer, too close - it tiggers something in her, and she has to stop writing to block it with her tail. Has to let out a hiss at the literal demon; thank the stars its eyes widen in understanding instead of darkening in anger.

“Oh, you’ve been bound to guard it,” it says, stepping back. “I see. Sorry. So, those bones - they’re from people who tried to take it, right?”

Thank the stars again that it realises, because she isn’t even halfway done with the message. She nods.

“That makes sense. Wow, that must be some important spellbook you’re guarding, huh?”

An important spellbook - Lacie can’t muffle a snort as she shakes her head. Alcor laughs too, though he sounds a little bit uncomfortable.

“Oh, that, that’s gotta suck. I’m sorry, uh… What’s your name? If you have one- oh stars what am I saying, ‘if you have one’ that sounds so rude -”

With another snort, she points at a welcome mat she’s carved just in front of the hidden door.

“‘Welcome to Lacie’s home. You found the way in, now’ - heh - ‘find the way out.’ I like that, it’s funny!” He grins up at her. “I guess these guys didn’t- ow . Agh, sorry, I was gonna say, I guess these guys didn’t see the sign when they came in, huh?”

A head shake; they did not. They certainly didn’t laugh at it either.

(To be fair, they were generally too busy gaping at the giant basilisk in the room to give an opinion on her decorations, but it was nice to finally get a little validation. She is funny sometimes, isn’t she?)

“Didn’t think so.” Alcor straightens his cufflinks. “Well, Lacie, while I don’t think I can technically count this as a human sacrifice, it should still be more than enough to break any basic bond. So ,”

She watches him extend a hand wreathed in blue fire, hears him speak with a voice that brings back a little of that initial fear, reminds her that as friendly as he may seem…

“D̵̜͍͖̘o̱͖̙̰̪̥̹͜ w̹͖̝̩͢e ̵̲͓̖h͇̹͖̞̦̠̮͘a̤̰v̹͔͚̭̦͜e̻ ̻̘̭̫a̩ ͈̳̯̯̰̣̪d̕e͇̪͍̜̻̪͘a̙̻̬̦͔ͅl̲̝͓͔?”

She’s still dealing with a demon.

“Wait, uh… you don’t have to shake.” He retracts his hand, demonic reverb gone as suddenly as it showed up, but the memory of it is hard to shake. “You can just, you know, nod or something, that’s fine.”

Lacie thinks hard on that for a moment. She glances back at the spellbook, the stupid, useless spellbook she’s been bound to, sitting on a lecturn in a room she’s been trapped in her whole life, a room that’s getting smaller and smaller as the years go by.

She’s outgrown this, she thinks. It’s time to move on.

“Hang on a second.”

Alcor’s voice makes her turn. He’s closed his eyes, and there’s a frown on his face that Lacie doesn’t like the look of. She leans in closer, listening to him mutter to himself.

“This isn’t- now how did he do this…? Oh. Oh , that’s not… dammit, that’s not good.” He opens his eyes. “Uh, Lacie? Got some bad news: I, uh, can’t break the binding.”

...What? Why not?

She blinks, watches him struggle to explain.

“I-I mean I can, technically! But not with this deal - not that I don’t want to help you, but… it’s complicated. Demon deals are complicated, there’s got to be a give and a take and it sucks, it’s...”

She watches him sigh. Frowns, as he looks away.

“Look, uh, I was going on the impression that this was a simple guardian bond, but it’s not. I didn’t think - you know, you were laughing when I said it was an important spellbook or something - I didn’t think it was gonna be some high-level magic… but it is.” He clenches his fists. “He’s managed to bind it to your soul , and that gets tricky for demons. There’s got to be a give and a take, right? And if I give a soul freedom…”

… he has to take another’s , Lacie thinks, and narrows her eyes. Is this heading where she thinks this is heading?

“I have to take freedom too, which… well, you don’t feel like selling your soul to me, do you?”

No no no, that’s the one thing all the manuals said never ever to do! She shakes her head vigourously, and he gives a quiet chuckle.

“Yeah, didn’t think so… I really did want to help you with the binding, but I can’t. Not without enough payment in return.” The most powerful demon in the world just shrugs helplessly. “I’m sorry. It’s a stupid rule and I’m always trying to bend it if I can, but I can’t outright break it.”

Lacie looks back at the spellbook. She knows a thing or two about stupid rules she can’t break. She really can’t, apparently.

Apparently, she’s going to be stuck with this thing for the rest of her life. Well. This… this sucks.

What is she going to do now?

“Um, listen,” Alcor clears his throat. “I can’t- uh, I may not be able to break the binding, but if there’s anything else I can do… well, you’ve got a lot of stuff you can sacrifice to me, I can probably do just about anything - anything that’s not soul-related, anyway.”

Lacie blinks. Just about anything... she could still get out of this room before it starves her. Yes, if he was able to teleport both her and the book outside-

But what would she do after that? The book’s tiny ; she’d need some way to lug it around, and she’d need to do that while finding food for herself, and oh stars all the guides on demon deals were screaming at her to be specific right now-

“Do you need some time to decide?”

She looks down at Alcor, and nods. He floats back towards the summoning circle.

“Alright, well, call me up again when you’ve got a deal in mind...” Glancing around the circle, at the crispy candles and the shaky drawings of his symbols, he blinks, then he glances back at her. “Uh… how long did this take you to do?”

A while, Lacie thinks, and snorts. He seems to get the message.

“Right, well, I’ll leave my calling card with you, so you don’t have to do that all over again.” He fishes the card out of his pocket; somehow, it comes out almost as big as him. “When you’re ready to make a deal, just prick your fing… uh, just hold it, okay? I’ll keep an eye out for you.”

She takes it, and nods. Tries for a smile, like the humans do to show gratitude.

“What are you-? Ow.” He squints away from her stare. “Um, well, it was nice meeting you, Lacie! I’m sorry I couldn’t help more.”

Alcor seems like he wants to say more, but after a moment of hesitation he gives a quick wave and disappears in a puff of smoke. The candles go out with him - remembering the sheer effort it took to light them in the first place, she cringes at that.

Well, at least she doesn’t have to summon him again. She looks from the smoke wisping off the wicks, down to the business card in her grasp.

It’s glossy and black; on one side, there’s a white circle around Alcor’s golden symbol; presumably that’s the place you’re supposed to prick your finger on. There’s a little note up top that says, ‘Need help? Summon Alcor the Dreambender today!’ and she snorts at that.

What a strange little creature… strangely endearing. She can hear how crazy she sounds thinking about it, but that demon was actually kind of a decent guy? She isn’t about to go selling her soul to him any time soon, but it felt like he genuinely wanted to help and that’s… refreshing.

It’s certainly a change of pace from the treasure hunters she usually encounters.

With that in mind, Lacie grips the card. It feels sturdier than it looks, but she still takes care tucking it underneath her. Once she’s done that, she turns back to face the circle again.

She sighs. Blinks, slowly. After something like that, all she wants to do is take a nice long nap, but...

Well, she’d better get cracking with that deal.

________________________________________________________________

Showing comments for Chapter 7 of Wizard Animago’s Not-So-Secret Spellbook - His Shitty Death Spells and Why They’re Not to Die For, Seriously

EdgyTwedgy666: [fake lol]

Sometimes, Lacie really doesn’t like humanity. She likes reading their writings, she likes looking at the photos they take of their world, she even likes the occasional specific human, but as a whole?

Rey_hunter: [can you tell me how to solve animagos riddle?? plz]

JarrSlayer8: [I dont get it. Author keeps calling himself a battlisk? Is this a joke account, because he needs to say its a joke so people don’t get confused.]

Foundit_56: [hehe nice try dude… im coming for that spellbook even if your to scared to…]

If this is what humans are like, she can understand why Animago hated being one so much. I mean seriously, she’s telling people what’s in the spellbook so they’ll leave her alone, and these are the kind of comments she gets?

Pyrocandro: [ummm, you know planis fugere a mortalis huius doesn’t translate to fly away from this mortal plane right? It looks more like go away to me… jus sayin. Maybe you should take a latin class? ;)]

Lacie narrows her eyes.

Maybe the non-treasure hunting humans are nicer.

Maybe up on the surface, humans are actually cool and not smugly correcting her Latin on every post.

Maybe, but it’s a shame a human trapped her down here to guard his shitty book, so she might never find out.

A sigh, long and tired. She’s been brainstorming deals ever since Alcor left, but with her still lugging around the spellbook they all seemed… unfeasible. The thing is falling apart already - how’s she supposed to keep it safe out there? Call it a lack of imagination, but she’s exhausted and the only thing she can think of is to keep holing up in her room, ask Alcor to boost the energy of Animago’s old sustaining spells so it can support her again.

That would work. It would, but it feels…

Lacie grimaces.

It feels like there’s more than this. There’s a whole world out there beyond her room, beyond guarding some spellbook; she’s been looking at it ever since she took a laptop off a treasure hunter’s body. She’s been looking, she’s been reading, she’s been writing, and, just as she was about to make that deal with Alcor, she suddenly realised she’s been wanting .

Wanting to go out there. Wanting to explore, wanting to leave this place. She’s outgrown it, in more ways than one, and now the thought of staying here, forever...

It feels like she’ll regret not making a better deal when she had the chance.

But what is a better deal? Maybe she’s just too tired to think, but her mind is blank and now she’s just scrolling through stupid human comments, thinking this is what I’ll have to deal with for the rest of my life...

woodzarcor4lyfe: [how does a bastlisk type lol theyve got no arms]

Oh, god. Oh, no.

SheldonHunts: [Actually, basilisks are classified as supernatural BEASTS instead of supernatural BEINGS. They’re non-sentient, so I’m preeetty sure you’re not a basilisk dude... cool post tho, was fun to read :)]

Fucking. Humans. Why are they like this?

Epicbl00dhound: [looooool i bet there’s so many dumbasses in the comments fallin for this………. your not a bastlicks buddy i bet you made this up to feel special……… i bet your just some guy in your moms basement pretending…… dont pretend cuz humans are THE BEST we beat all other spacies (watch pronatpat he has the TRUTH) so get out of there….. be a human!]

Ugggghhhhhhhh, why is this her life? Why can’t she-

Wait.

Lacie reads that last comment again. Through all the weird grammar and the pro-nat grossness and everything else she doesn’t even want to unpack… it’s giving her an idea.

Be a human...

A strange, strange idea - but it might just actually work.

#transcendence au #toothwrites

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thebipolarbisexualnerd · 5 years

Text

The Misfits

So I wrote a thing that’s just pointless fluff. High school AU featuring the main six plus a few others. No Endgame spoilers here or any sadness. It’s a simple high school / youtuber AU thing that I thought would be fun to write when I have time. If you guys could check it out I’d appreciate it!!

“Well, hey guys,” Tony’s face popped up on screen for a second before he looked away with a tiny grin. “Long time, no see right? Well the end of August is finally here so you guys have me back again. I really hope Clint didn’t do anything too stupid while I was gone.” Tony sighed and ran a hand through his hair which was already messily sticking up in the back. “Thanks for all the messages across social media and the comments saying how much you missed me. I just read them this morning and then I couldn’t help making this video. We have a ton to catch up on it would seem.”

The screen got wobbly for a second as Tony settled down on the usual black leather couch always featured in his videos. He adjusted the camera for a few seconds before relaxing and looking back at the camera even as his hands fiddled with something off screen. “So, where to start? Well thanks to Dad you guys know I’m Tony Stark now since he made me do all those TV appearances. That’s been...both good and bad. Thankfully Dad still doesn’t know about this channel so there’s that. I’ve gotten a lot of questions about that so maybe the last part of this video will be a kind of Q&A type of thing. This isn’t going to change anything honestly, and you will still be around for all of our shenannigans. Senior year this year and it should be...well maybe it will be everything we want and maybe not. Jury is out on that.”

Tony fell silent for a minute before pulling out his phone and starting to scroll. “I”m looking for what to tell you about the summer. Mostly it sucked as you can guess. I was in too many meetings and not enough outside. Steve is on his way over so things will get interesting here in a minute. He’s probably not going to be thrilled I’m filming already… alone time and all that. I missed him almost as much as I missed you guys, almost. I hate being away from this channel for almost three months. Uh, I did go over to Costa Rica and that was fun enough. Got to be on the beach for a couple days. Being in love sucks guys since nothing is really enjoyable alone anymore. I just wanted Steve with me on that beach the entire time let me tell you.”

A knock distantly came and the change over Tony was almost laughable. Any remaining tension left his shoulders and his face lit up into a grin people were lucky to ever see. He indicated to the camera to wait a second before nearly bouncing over to the door and only a flash of blonde hair was seen before Tony jumped into the arms of his boyfriend to hug him tightly. They swayed on the spot with something said quietly by Steve which made Tony laugh. The camera cut out for a moment until the two were settled on the couch close together and Tony holding Steve’s hand in his. “He’s grumpy guys, I told you he would be.”

“I’m not grumpy,” Steve rolled his eyes as he switched the hand Tony held to wrap the other one around his shoulders. “He’s still the same liar he’s always been. Hello again everybody.”

“They don’t care about you,” Tony protested as he teasingly angled the camera to focus on him. “They’ve seen you all summer long. I’m what they’re here to see as always. You guys are simply filler material. So I thought today we could answer some simple questions before we, ahem, properly reunite.”

“We don’t fuck on the couch,” Steve said immediately, making Tony laugh loudly. “I already know that’s going to be in the comment section today. It’s a no, seriously a no.”

“We almost have,” Tony said thoughtfully before Steve smacked him upside the head. Tony snickered to himself before bringing up his phone again and finding actual questions. “What’s it like to be a billionaire? Why would you bother to worry about your grades when you can buy your way into any school you want?”

Tony sighed and Steve tried to hide the concern for him. “Okay, yeah, so I have a shit ton of money. I won’t be giving house tours only because it’s probably not the safest thing. I debated even coming back to Youtube after the news was out, but-” Tony cut himself off and swallowed a few times. “I can’t leave this channel and I’m begging you guys not to force me to. I know my address is on the internet out there, but this channel has been around long enough that most of you can guess that if my dad finds out that’s game over for this. Back to the actual question here, I care about my grades because I like school and I am a giant nerd dating the jock of the football team. I like to learn and discover things and I am going to run a billion dollar company one day so I need to learn a lot anyways. I don’t plan on doing it all through advisors if I can help it. The Starks may have money, but we have smarts to match it.” Tony looked at Steve and plastered on a look of shock. “I just gave my father a compliment, must be ill. Maybe you’ll have play nursemaid.”

“Keep dreaming,” Steve fondly smiled and took Tony’s phone from him. “Does everyone at school know who you are? Do people treat you differently?” Steve looked back at the camera, his blue eyes soft and fond. “Tony being a Stark has never been a secret, but I will admit things got more complicated when we got into high school and realized what money could mean. Tony gets crap for a lot of things, and money is a big one. He gets a lot over having a personal driver and butler every day. He has people trying to get to him for his money, but Clint keeps those people away for the most part. Most of the school things Natasha and Tony are a thing still, even if we don’t keep our relationship a secret really. People will think what they want, right? “

“These are depressing questions,” Tony changed topic and took his phone back. “I know you guys are more creative than this. We all know from the early days what a sad life I have. Oh hey Steve there’s one for you. Does it ever intimidate you that when you marry Tony you will have to live up to his legacy in a way as well?”

Steve turned a faint shade of pink before getting somewhat serious. “We have actually considered Tony becoming a Rogers and running away from the company altogether.”

“Don’t feed the shippers I beg of you,” Tony groaned as he hid his face in Steve’s shoulder.

“I’m not worried about the Tony part of the future,” Steve said quietly. “Tony is the one part of the future I”m looking forward to. His company is large and a lot, but we don’t have to worry about the entire thing the second we graduate. Tony has college to worry about first, and I’ll be with him through all of it. Whatever I need to know Tony will let me know, and it’s really that simple.”

The look on Tony’s face clearly said he wanted to kiss Steve right then and there, but he forced his gaze back to the phone instead. “Do you have a crystallized dildo Tony?” This time Tony did laugh for a solid thirty seconds before being able to straighten up and attempt to answer. “I don’t, but I think that’s on my amazon list now.”

“You would find that question,” Steve muttered and took the phone back while Tony was dissolved in laughter. “You seem to have a great relationship with your driver, is that true?”

“Why do you make me be a human being?” Tony whined dramatically before sighing. “My driver is also our butler that I’ve known since I was a kid. He’s like a dad to me and he’s absolutely amazing. He’s honestly the reason I’m still alive.”

“Why did you pick Clint to keep up the channel over the summer?” Steve read off next after smiling fondly. “I also want to know this one. Clint was… not the most responsible choice.”

“Clint had plenty of experience posting random crap here already,” Tony answered, once again in comfortable territory. “Plus he has the most creative challenge ideas of all of us to keep you guys entertained. I’m better at vlogging, but he has the challenge ideas. It just seemed easier. Are you seriously offended I didn’t pick you, babe? You could have filmed whatever you wanted.”

“Of course I’m not,” Steve rolled his eyes with a kiss to Tony’s temple. “I was in plenty of videos while you were gone, but everyone said I looked lovesick.”

“You better have,” Tony pouted over at him before grinning at the camera again. “Well, now that I’m back and life is going back to normal somewhat uploading will be the usual. I’ll vlog three times a week plus challenge videos plus Clint’s bonus video crap you guys love so much. Thanks for sticking around while the channel was quiet and get ready for senior year with….God, I guess the squad does suit us by now. Bye guys!” Both boys waved to the camera before the screen cut out.

~~~

Tony sighed now that the camera was off and didn’t hesitate to tangle a hand in the back of Steve’s head to pull him in for a proper kiss hello. “It’s so good to be home. I missed everyone and the channel and you of course.”

“I was worried about you,” Steve told him quietly. “You looked so tired all summer when I glimpsed your appearances. Did you sleep at all? Your dad treated you like some kind of SI mascot.”

“I slept as much as I ever do,” Tony waved a hand vaguely, snuggling into Steve’s chest. Steve did worry about him, too much. He wasn’t worth all of that and he could survive anything. His father had proved that over and over again over the years. He hadn’t honestly slept that much, but he didn’t lie when he said it wasn’t usual. Three months alone with Howard didn’t really help his self-esteem any. He was a thing to Howard, a new way to sell the future of his company. He was a pretty face and not a whole lot more. “Care to accompany me upstairs to scratch the itch?”

“Literally the worst way to proposition sex, ever,” Steve told him and Tony knew he was rolling his eyes. “How long do we have until the rest of them show up?”

“I never said they were coming over,” Tony said innocently and hid his face further in Steve’s chest.

“They totally are though,” Steve confirmed. “What time?”

“Clint said seven,” Tony admitted. “Do you wanna go grab dinner instead?”

“I did sort of miss your obnoxious orange monstrosity,” Steve admitted, rubbing soothing circles on his back. Tony wanted to just stay here forever, but they did need some food and he would probably eat a full meal with Steve across from him at one of their favorite places. HIs father was still on the SI press tour for a few weeks and Tony hoped Steve could just stay with him until he couldn’t any longer. He needed sleep and relaxation and food, three things he only got when he was with his boyfriend and best friend in the entire world.

“You missed my money!” Tony accused playfully, pulling back and looking very affronted. “The rumors were true the entire time! Only with me for my money, and I thought you had stronger morals Rogers!’ He leapt off the couch and turned his back with his arms folded. “I suppose I’m paying for dinner too?”

Steve chuckled into his ear as he was taken into strong, warm arms and Tony fought to not let his knees go weak. He turned to face Steve and found his lips claimed by ones he dreamed about constantly while he was gone. Steve’s mouth was warm against his own and Tony eagerly licked into Steve’s mouth for a taste of what he had been missing. He pressed himself closer and whined lowly when Steve’s thigh ended up between his own. He found himself pressed against the doorway and had no complaints when Steve’s large hands squeezed his ass firmly.

“I missed you,” Tony said, breathless as Steve kissed his neck and he was pretty sure it sounded more desperate than he meant it to. He had cried on many a balcony or beach after a rough night when Steve was so far away from him. This summer had proved that he wasn’t being dramatic when his heart told him he would never survive without this man.

“MIssed you too, darling,” Steve said softly and that was all it took for Tony’s heart to melt into a puddle. This was the voice Tony heard before he drifted off to sleep each night when his mind told him he wasn’t enough. He heard Steve say how much he loved him and how adored he was. The tears sprang up and Tony looked away quickly. A gentle hand under his chin made his eyes meet blue and he swiped at the one tear that escaped. “I know this summer was hard, love. I’m here now, okay? This is the last summer you have to go through that crap, alright? Next year we can lie on a beach together.”

“Sorry, sorry, I know,” Tony assured him quickly, not wanting the mood to get truly maudlin. “Let me treat you to dinner before the hooligans come over.”

“What’s the video tonight?” Steve asked, picking up on lightening the mood for now. Tony knew he had more to deal with, but he was really looking forward to tonight with their friends.

“Clint promised something simple,” Tony shrugged as he was gently released from the wall and back onto his feet. “He told me just to be here and he would take care of the rest or something.”

“You trust him way too much,” Steve took his hand and the grounding presence was so nice after months without it. Tony truly hoped next summer was better for them.

~~~

“Well, hello hello,” Clint grinned into the camera as the rest of their group settled down on the couches behind him. “The MIsfits are back together again at last, now that Tony stopped playing celebrity finally.”

“Screw you!” Tony called from a corner of the couch, showing the middle finger unashamed.

“So tonight we are starting off the school year with a rematch of MarioKart since Tony has the best system for it and the largest TV. Then we are going to have one last bonfire before we are resigned to school all over again.” Clint made a displeased face before switching the camera around so the others were properly on screen. “First, let’s take inventory of how everyone has changed over the summer. Everyone has their Look for senior year, or something like that. I don’t keep up with that shit.”

“Nat wins for back to school hair!” Tony called out firsti. “She is killing the blonde ombre!”

“Too bad she’s taken for the rest of eternity,” Clint’s voice said, and it was plain he was pleased with himself. “FIne, my girlfriend does have blonde in her hair and looks completely gorgeous. Not to mention she has ten million freckles, and I’m not exaggerating. I’ve seen them in places-”

“If you want to see them ever again, you’ll shut the hell up,” Natasha said as the camera swung over to her on the opposite corner to Tony on the L-shaped couch. “Bucky also has gorgeous hair, thanks for my influence.”

“Oh, right, “ Clint focused the camera on Bucky, who never looked thrilled to be on screen. “Bucky decided to keep his hair long through baseball season and Nat says he can rock the man bun or something. The facial hair does look nice I’ll admit. He might not be single the entire year for a change.”

“I really just want to play this game,” Bucky grumbled. “Not sure why anyone cares what we look like.”

“Tony just got tan and gorgeous,” Clint sounded nothing but exasperated as the camera went to Tony, tucked under Steve’s arm and hair messily arranged. “Also taken for eternity, sorry ladies and gents. They haven’t stopped touching all night and we are all about to gag.”

“Only you on that one Clint,” A voice called and the camera quickly shifted to Bruce Banner, sitting on the floor between Thor’s legs.

“Oh, well while he decides to speak up let’s focus on the newest couple,” Clint narrated happily. “So Bruce got new glasses, new hair, and shirts that aren’t ten sizes too big. All influence of Thor, latest member of this channel. Say hi, Thor.”

“ ‘Lo, everybody,” Thor said as he raised a hand.

“Alright, let’s get this party on so I can keep my titled championship,” Clint said, rearranging the camera so they were all in view. The room fell quiet for a minute as the loading screen finished amidst quiet chatter and soft laughter.

A screech broke the peace.

“Who the FUCK stole Toad?” Clint demanded as Nat cackled, picking her usual character bowser. “Toad is mine, everybody fucking knows that. What the ever loving fuck?”

“Remember that five second period when we wanted to be family appropriate?” Bruce asked dryly. “There is no character claiming Clint.”

“Banner, if you stole Toad I swear you will never know peace again,” Clint threatened with a glare.

“Tell that to my boyfriend that could end you with one punch,” Bruce said smugly to laughter throughout the room.

“I got my girl Peach so don’t come after me,” Tony said as he got more comfortable against Steve.

“Fuck all of you,” Clint said moodily, clicking on baby bowser sulkily. “I’m still going to dominate this.”

“You’re my minion, that’s cute,” Nat teased him, leaning forward to concentrate.

“Is anyone not your minion?” Bucky asked, and the way he kept glancing at Clint gave a clue as to who stole his beloved character.

“True point, Barnes,” Nat said with a smirk. “Get ready to lose my minions.”

“You guys really take this too seriously,” Thor said quietly in the background.

The race was soon on, and so all quiet moments were ended until the tournament was over.

The room was quickly filled with screaming and cursing as the unfair realities of the game were made known. At one point a drink was spilled all over Bruce on the floor, who tackled Clint in retaliation while the race was going on making them both lose horribly and Clint to screech once more and hit Bruce repeatedly with a pillow.

The screen cut out after Tony jumped around victorious on the couch over all his friends and nearly fell four times.

The next time the screen came to life was in the kitchen where Steve, Tony and Clint were gathering supplies for s’mores around their fire.

“Now, do we know what goes into a s’more? Like for regular folks?” Clint asked form behind the camera and Tony popped his head up from fetching a bag of marshmallows.

“I mean Steve informed me what you peasants eat, yes,” Tony said snottily as he grabbed the fire sticks. “I do these things to amuse the rest of you. My class of people just roast duck over the fire after all.”

“Who did we trust starting the fire?” Steve said, glancing to where a blaze of fire just shot up.

“Bruce, I think,” Tony answered him, unconcerned about what was happening outside. “If he burns the house down, it would be too good to be true.”

“I thought you wanted to burn things yourself, next year?” Clint asked him. Tony rubbed his forehead for a second as he tried to find some chocolate.

“Well, head starts are always encouraged,” Tony said absently. Steve was quiet, watching with concern on his face. He shot a look to the camera and suddenly the view switched back to Clint’s face quickly.

“Well, thanks for watching everybody! We are as glad as you guys are to be together again and making fun videos again! Like this video if you enjoyed Tony’s latest summer look, and subscribe if you want to see my gorgeous face again! Til next time guys! Bye!”

#tony stark #steve rogers #stony #high school au #youtuber au #clintasha #clint barton #natasha romanoff #bruce banner #thor #bucky barnes #mywriting #just for fun guys #please don't roast me

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jazzy-kandra · 7 years

Text

Advice

Summary: In which Adolin asks Zahel for some advice. Stormshot. Oathbringer Spoilers.

---

Nestled at a table in the back of the makeshift library the Ardents had set up upon their arrival in Urithiru, Zahel was doing something he hadn’t truly done in years: research. The return of the Knights Radiant had inspired him, Kaladin glowing with Stormlight as he flew above the camp, Shardblade in hand. That girl activating the fabrial with her Shardblade. Dalinar bonding Stormfather, the largest remnant of Honor himself. Renarin healing Adolin’s wrist…

All of those events amounted to a clue on how he might unlock that same power for Awakening. He just hadn’t figured out exactly what that clue was, yet.

In his fist, he held an diamond broam that he had hidden from the others, only a few strains of light escaping through his thick fingers. His eyes focused on it, though he could sense it just as well with them close, for it was brimming with Investiture.

“Your Light to mine,” he said, speaking the words in his native tongue. Stormlight flooded forth, flowing towards him as a vapor. Zahel breathed. That part had always been easy.

This next part, however, wasn’t. He’d never been able to get it to work. Still, perhaps the fabrial he had “borrowed” could help him, or so he hoped. Through its captured spren, it created an artificial Connection - or bond, to use the local parlance -

Someone was standing behind him.

Damn.

Why couldn’t those stupid ardents listen to him when he said he didn’t want to be disturbed? Well, he thought, I can always scare them away again…

“Yeah?” A puff of Light escaped his lips as he spoke. He shut his mouth tight once more and clamped his nose between thumb and forefinger, it wouldn’t do to leak more Stormlight than he had to.

The person jumped. “Uh…, ummm, Master?” Damnation, it was Adolin. Zahel stuffed the small straw figure under the table. Sure, he saw the young man as his own grandson, but like any grandchild, Adolin could be awfully annoying sometimes. “Storms. How do you always do that?”

Zahel drew out a long sigh, the rest of his Stormlight escaping in a fine mist. Stupid leaky Investiture. He’d have to work on this later. At least he had some more spheres which he had managed to charge in that unexpected Highstorm. Unfortunately, he couldn’t just scare a princeling away and get back to work.

Why was he so much more grumpy of late? Perhaps it was related to that new Storm…

“I have good ears.”

“Wait…,” the boy jogged up beside his chair, hovering over him like a teacher spying on some poor student as they did coursework. “Was that Stormlight?”

Shit.

“Your eyes are tricking you, boy.”

“But…I could’ve sworn…,” he said. “You’re not another hidden Knight Radiant, right?”

Zahel snorted, waving a dismissive hand at that stupid suggestion. He’d rather eat crem than bond with a spren. “I won’t go flying off with your Stormlight.”

“Just thought I would ask,” he said, still staring at where the vaporous Investiture had vanished. “You know, you’re pretty weird, Zahel.”

“Not every shade of blue is a green.“ That didn’t sound right. Did they even have a word for teal?

“What?” Adolin asked. “Green isn’t blue. That’s ridiculous.”

“Damnation language,” he muttered. Adolin grinned, a part of the boy had always liked it when Alethi fouled him up and made him spout something ridiculous. Hallandran had a name for nearly every color known to man, the Alethi only had a few scant words to describe the whole set. It was terrible. Instead of sounding old and wise, he came off sounding like a colorblind idiot. “You know what I mean, how many of these fools do you think are broken enough to get a spren to bond with them?”

“Broken?” he asked. “What does that have to do with becoming a Radiant?”

Zahel grunted. Why was he talking about this kind of thing with Adolin Kholin? He was a fine lad, but he didn’t know a thing about Investiture or the finer workings of the cosmere. Adolin wasn’t his cousin. Jasnah was a smart woman, pity that red-haired girl said she was dead.

Zahel wasn’t sure he believed that, though. Kholins were hard to kill, and if the rumors he had heard were true, she had been a Radiant, too. Probably just faked it, somehow, he thought.

“What did you want, kid?”

“I’m…ah…I started training Shallan with the sword,” he began, nervously shuffling his feet, “and I was hoping for some advice.”

The boy blushed. Great. Not only did he have to deal with that new, pesky storm, it seemed the boy had finally became a man.

“Son,” Zahel said, turning around fully in his chair. “I know you like the girl, but having heirs early i-”

“Wah…what?

Or not. Thank Colors. He didn’t want to have that conversation with Adolin. Let Dalinar deal with it, he was a better man now. Zahel was too old for that kind of crem.

Zahel frowned. "Then what did you mean?”

“Ummm, I’m… I’m training her to use a Shardblade…not…” He looked away sheepishly.

“Oh.” Yes. That was a lot more like Adolin.

“What in Damnation did you think it was?”

“Nothing.” Adolin gave him a bewildered look. Storm it. He wasn’t going to go into details if the storming kid was too dense to get it. "What’s wrong with teaching her that?”

“She’s a woman.”

Oh right. Silly Alethi and their damn gender roles. Vivenna would…no. He didn’t want to think about Vivenna. It hurt too much.

“And you’re an Ardent.”

“So?”

Adolin sighed, running a hand through his hair. “You’re not supposed to…”

“I’ve trained women before,” he said. In both kinds of swords, unlike some kids who can’t comprehend simple metaphors. He, however, had enough wisdom not to say certain things aloud. “What does it matter? She’s got a sword, might as well learn to use it to defend herself."

Adolin nodded. "That’s what I said,” he sighed, looking apprehensive once again. “But she’s just not passionate about it."

Zahel closed his eyes, took a deep breath, then released it. How could he be having this conversation, and how in the cosmere did a man of twenty-four not understand what it sounded like he was saying?

"Master…?” Adolin only used that title when he was concerned.

“You’re an idiot."

"Huh?”

“Most people aren’t that storming passionate about their Shardblades.”

“Well,” Adolin said, taking a seat at the table. “They’re special. You know that, you’ve handled a few!”

Zahel rolled his eyes.

“She doesn’t have to be passionate,” he said, stopping Adolin before he had the chance to ramble on and on about said swords. “She just has to learn to defend herself. Keeping a cool head can be good in a fight. Now…what in Damnation makes you think you’d make a good teacher?"

“I’m just that storming good, that’s why.”

“Ha.”

“But I am,” he said, “you trained me.”

“That doesn’t make you a good teacher, boy. You’re an excellent duelist and warrior, neither of those things mean you know the first thing about teaching someone else,” he said. “If we didn’t need to keep this secret, I would tell you to bring her to me.”

“You? But you’re too…”

“Mean?”

“No, you’re just a grump,” Adolin said. Ah. That was the Alethi word for it. Hadn’t Vivenna called him something like that once? “Shallan is basically your polar opposite. Unlike you, she’s actually nice. Cheerful. Happy. She’s pretty, too.”

That might be true, but she’s not Vivenna. Instead, Zahel barked a laugh. “You fear I’d corrupt her with my…grumption?”

“That’s not a word.”

“It should be,” he said. “I’ll write you some suggestions.”

“But I can’t…oh. For her.” He blushed again. Adolin really did like this Radiant girl, didn’t he? That detraction could pose a problem while teaching,…and lead to other things.

Zahel shook his head, then flipped to a clean sheet of parchment. As Zahel wrote, Adolin went into more detail about Shallan’s lessons. It seemed they had managed two sections without incident, and the girl had gotten a basic handle on some of the simpler stances.

After some time had passed, he handed the sheets to Adolin. “Huh,” Adolin said, inspecting the sheet, “your handwriting’s actually legible.”

“You’re illiterate.” Of course, that wasn’t the only problem. Zahel preferred writing in his native Hallandren, not women’s script. It was quicker. “And,” he looked over Adolin’s shoulder, “you’re holding it the wrong way.”

The boy held it sideways. “Oh,” Adolin said, rotating the sheet…until it was still sideways again. Storms. “I can still tell if it’s legible, Zahel.”

“Right.”

“Thanks,” he said, standing to leave. Zahel cleared his throat, however, causing Adolin to turn back. “What?”

“Do you kids have some kind of chaperone for these nighttime lessons?”

“It should be fine,” he said, scratching the back of his neck bashfully. “Her spren’s keeping an eye on things.”

“Her spren,” Zahel deadpanned. Great. “Adolin…”

The boy swallowed. “Hey, if my father’s spren can officiate his marriage to my aun - mom,” he said, seemingly unsure of what he should called Navani. Hell, Zahel wasn’t sure either. “Then Pattern should be acceptable, it’s not like…like…”

Even if they did it, it wouldn’t disturb Zahel’s conscience. Considering how easily flustered Adolin was, however… “Just pulling your leg, kid,” he said, patting him on the arm. “If you need more help, just ask.”

Adolin nodded.

“Go on, get going,” he said, waving him off. Adolin scurried away, no doubt in a rush to meet with a certain red-head.

Hopefully, nothing would come of it. But if it did…well, he had never been that great an ardent, anyway.

Zahel took out yet another sphere from his hidden stash. It was time to get back to work.

“Your Light to mine…”

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earlywrites · 6 years

Text

there’s no place like 127.0.0.1 commentary part II: ‘keeping up’

Welcome to part two of the commentary for my fic there's no place like 127.0.0.1! Let's dive right into Sunday morning. As before, here there be spoilers for the majority of Season 3.

“[...] And, for your information, the internet exists. I’m not sure if you’re aware of this, but you can find anything on there. Literally anything. Including a Keeping Up With The Kardashians fact-checker resource.”

Keeping up with the Kontinuity Errors is a blog, currently run on the Cut, that breaks down episodes of KUWTK scene by scene, using social media and paparazzi photos to determine when each scene was actually filmed versus the date/timeframe that is claimed on the show. Here is the post on the first episode Robot and Angela watched, wherein the Kardashian-West clan et al travel to Armenia and also may or may not be in Jerusalem at any given time. I didn’t choose particular episodes for rounds two and three, but I do have a fondness for the one where Kim loses her diamond earrings in the ocean, and Kourtney goes:

“How about, the loser gets to do the dishes from last night. And this morning.”

I actually wrote this section before 3x09 came out, so this ended up being a sad piece of foreshadowing.

“That’s the cholesterol,” she retorts, as she marks out new columns into her notebook. “Your diet is terrible.”

“No, Elliot’s diet is terrible,” he says, licking maple syrup off of his fingers and setting his score sheet up on his knee. It still gets a little sticky, but whatever. “I don’t get much choice in that matter. Occasionally, when I get the chance, I eat a vegetable.”

Literally how is Elliot a functioning human being. Robot brings this up in Part I, but that post was getting full, so I'm putting the discussion here, and, look. Everything about his lifestyle, his love for junk food and the fact that he probably gets 0 sleep now given Robot’s nocturnal cycle points to him being deeply, incredibly unhealthy. Having Robot making some effort to take care of their body, even as a semi-joke, is my way of somewhat justifying how Elliot is still alive, lol.

“[...] vaguely considers beating one out – because it’s been a while, and Tyrell’s snarl under the press of his hand at his throat is still tucked away in his spank bank, awaiting withdrawal [...]”

I feel like 3x09 proved unequivocally that Robot is absolutely into playing rough.

[source: @knownoshamc, x]

“[...] I bought a few titles that looked interesting. And a few things just to mess with him - did you know there’s a game where you can date pigeons? Like, actual birds. It’s apparently very popular.”

Yes, of course I’m referring to the masterpiece of visual media and storytelling that is Hatoful Boyfriend.

He stares at her, breathing heavily, and thinks about picking up his laptop and smashing it against the smooth surface of the coffee table, watching it splinter and crack, then taking her MacBook and sending it flying across the room, shattering the glass of a window, compromising the integrity of the perfect little box she’s living in, the one she’s caged him inside. He visualizes it, until he can feel the weight of the laptop in his hands, sees in the reflection of her eyes – big, blue, steady and unwavering – how the arc of destruction plays out, walls crumbling around them, fragments spinning out in slow motion, catching the light.

Elliot and Robot are highly creative, and are shown to manipulate the world around them to fit their perspective - in that vein, from Robot’s point of view, that scene would play out similarly to Cobb and Ariadne’s first dreamsharing experience in Inception.

Then he sits down next to her.

I separated this line from the preceding paragraph because this, for me, was the biggest character moment for Robot in the fic -- rather than doing what he wants, and releasing his rage, being his usual rash and destructive self, he chooses not to, and essentially releases his anger like air slowly leaving a balloon (minus the squeaking, lol). He tried to bait Angela, to get under her skin, after she made an astute judgement about him and exposed a major vulnerability of his, but she was unwavering, meeting him eye to eye. I think this point was when he gave into trusting her, knowing that she knows his weakness -- his deeply complicated, protective, antagonistic relationship with Elliot, the fact that he doesn’t want to face that he misses him -- and allowing her to keep that secret for him.

Completing Portal 2 in co-op mode ends up taking the rest of the afternoon, only pausing for snacks – and Angela takes his blithe comment on Elliot’s nutrition seriously, because of course she fucking does, and prepares shit like carrot sticks and celery with hummus which are both incredibly bland and deeply unsatisfying, so in retaliation he spends an inordinate amount of time dicking around with the portal mechanics so her character keeps falling to its untimely end. But he quickly gets bored of that, and of Angela making empty threats to beat him over the head with her MacBook (yeah, like her noodle arms could ever manage it), and does end up working with her to beat the game. The entire concept is problem-solving and teamwork, which is genuinely engaging, even though it’s obvious Angela picked this as some kind of teambuilding exercise for the two of them — which, on paper, is annoying as hell, he’s not some fucking suit in an intern program. Still, she’s not a bad partner – they bounce off each other well, sometimes literally, and she’s the one to actually figure out the shoot-while-jumping sequence needed to get through the penultimate level. For some reason, though, her favorite characters, if you can even count them as characters, are the cubes. The cubes. She fucking loves those dumb, inanimate objects. GLaDOS would definitely take her ass in to test for whatever malfunctioning part of her cortex causes her to express affection for a cube.

Hey, look, it's a game where two characters work together to aid the agenda of an evil megalomanic who's actually manipulating them and ultimately wants them to die to serve her true purpose, while ignoring warning signs saying not to trust her. Sound familiar? ;) But yes, for those unfamiliar with the Portal series, here's a little article about the essence of the co-op game; the purpose was to directly parallel it with Robot and Angela's doomed plan under Whiterose's thumb. Totally check out the games, if you haven't already! The co-op is a lot of fun, and the penultimate level took my friend and I like an hour to figure out how to complete (whereas the last level? Total cakewalk, even if The Cake Is A Lie :P)

“And we will have to manage Darlene,” she continues, bringing several onions on a chopping board over to him. “I don’t know what her motives are in coming here to look for Elliot, but either way, we have to play it safe. I’m going to give you your phone back tomorrow and if she calls, you can answer it, but… tell her you wanted to go off the grid this weekend, or something, clear your head. You can use the fact that you’ll be at work to keep it short, just enough to keep her from looking in any further.” “That excuse won’t stretch too far – isn’t Elliot getting fired tomorrow?” he asks, peeling the skin off the first onion and starting to slice it up.

“Yes,” Angela says. “Mid-morning at the latest, but she wouldn’t know about that, so even if she wants to meet she’ll have to wait until the end of the day – if she presses for the lunch break, you can say you’ve made prior plans with me. [...] Okay, so, you’re just going to sit tight until security escorts you out, as we discussed, and don’t make a scene [...] Once you’re out, keep your distance from the data recovery center but stay in the area in case Irving and Tyrell need assistance with the execution, in which case I will contact you directly and escort you through any E-Corp facilities, since your card access will be revoked. Otherwise, go somewhere public, so that you have an alibi that can be corroborated by at least several witnesses concerning your whereabouts at the time the building comes down – but keep a low profile, get a Starbucks, or something. Make sure not to take your laptop out of your bag unless there’s an emergency, you don’t want anyone making assumptions about what you were doing during Stage Two once the dust clears and the feds look for someone to pin it on. And, if you need to call me, ring and let it dial once, hang up, and then immediately ring again. That way I’ll know it’s you calling, and not Elliot.”

We never got to really find out what Robot & Angela’s original plan was for that day, if Elliot hadn’t taken over for the events of 3x05-06. I assumed that, after Tyrell and Robot’s altercation in 3x04, the reins had been handed over to Tyrell and the Dark Army to execute, and Robot’s job was essentially support-if-needed, Angela still acting as his handler and liaising with Irving. This is my interpretation of what the OG plan might have been like -- at the beginning of 3x05, Angela encourages Elliot to pick up his phone as it rings, and then seemingly clicks that it’s no longer Robot, but still calls out to Elliot to grab lunch later. Later, she didn’t pick up her phone when Elliot called her, which I wondered about at the time since we weren’t given an indication as to whether she knew who was actually calling, and so this is my justification for that too.

“We’ll toss those in olive oil with the carrots and set them to roast in the oven for about twenty, and in a couple of minutes I’ll get started on the steaks [...]”

I made a few fun Matrix shoutouts in this fic, and this is another one -- Cypher eats a virtual steak dinner as he trades the crew on his ship to the Agents in exchange for insertion back into the matrix, rejecting his harsh reality for the comfort of an artificial world. The recipe I had in mind is something along the lines of this one.

His memories are a muddled patchwork, haphazard at best – the clearest ones he has are also the darkest, ones Elliot didn’t want to deal with, shoved into a box and couriered to his doorstep with DO NOT RETURN TO SENDER in big red lettering, his burden now to bear. It’s no sweat, he’s stronger than Elliot, anyhow, which is probably is the point – the nightmares of yesteryear don’t faze him much, especially now their bitch of a mother is slowly rotting away upstate.

3x07 heavily implied Robot had already emerged before Edward Alderson died, and was the alter in control when Edward collapsed at the cinema -- but, in Season One, Robot begged Elliot not to let people ‘try to get rid of [him]’ again, implying there were stretches of time in Elliot’s life when he wasn’t present. Mr. Robot’s timeline is muddled to hell thanks to Elliot’s unreliable narration anyway, but I figured that Robot’s memories would be somewhat similar to Elliot’s with more gaps in them, and more strongly feature the abuse exacted by their mother, per Robot’s role as a (deeply flawed) ‘protector’ to Elliot. Also, I’m not sure whether Magda Alderson is actually alive or dead, but ‘slowly rotting away’ can mean both physically rotting in a grave and just generally living a stagnant existence (in a nursing home, presumably), so that’s up to interpretation!

He’s not much one for wine, but this one’s pretty good – it’s apparently a 2008 Penfolds Grange, whatever the fuck that means, and they’ve made quick work of it as the evening has wound down.

The Penfolds Grange vintage 2008 Shiraz (South Australia) scored a rare 100 points in both The Wine Advocate and the Wine Spectator, two of the world’s most influential wine journals, when it was released in 2013, and I believe was initially priced at around $600-700. Price probably gave her this bottle, so it’s a good one to crack open when intending to destroy his company.

“I guess… I’m nervous, about seeing her again,” she murmurs. “It’s been so long, and so much has changed… it’s weird, because all I’ve felt up until this point is excitement, like, this is the whole reason I’m going through with all of this, to finally destroy E-Corp and create our new world, to share it with her – and yet, now we’re here, I’m not sure if I’m ready.”

Her whole deal with Whiterose is bordering on obsession, at this point. It’s somewhat disconcerting, but then again, he supposes that’s Angela – she’s just intense like that. “Look, Angela, don’t set your expectations too high on that one,” he cautions. “I don’t think either of us are going to see Whiterose again, at least, not in the immediate future. She’s not the type to just swing by to pop off some champagne for a job well done.”

Angela looks at him, frowning slightly, and then her expression clears. “Of course,” she says, finishing up her glass. “You’re right, Whiterose has more important things to do. Maybe we’ll just have to have our own celebration.”

“Maybe,” he replies, looking at her narrowly. He has an odd feeling that she wasn’t talking about Whiterose. But then, who else would it be? Darlene? No, that doesn’t quite add up.

I mean, look, at this point, it’s very obvious to we the audience that Angela is talking about seeing her mother again, and she then makes reference to Elliot believing in the #cause once he gets to see his father just before the brownout comes in. These scenes always made me feel sad to write.

The inset on the face says 29, and the hands glint at a little after six. Early, but not quite early enough to justify a little more shuteye.

In 3x05, Elliot says the Dark Army tried to execute Stage Two at 6am. Robot waking up with a start around the time the Dark Army try to attack but being completely unaware of it happening is the beginning of the end for his usurped revolution.

So that's it, for now. If you’re still here -- thanks for reading, friend! Hope you enjoyed this self indulgent spiel -- catch you on the flipside :P

#earlyfic #dvdcommentary #TNPLH #mr robot fic

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thirstyfortom · 7 years

Text

High School Band AU: Ch. 9

Hope you like this! ^^

In your defense, you were really trying to pay attention. You really want to learn everything about Isaac Newton and the three laws of motion. Well, not everything, just… enough to pass the test tomorrow. You’re really trying, but the crumbled paper balls falling in your desk in the studying room aren’t letting you focus.

You didn’t unwrinkle any of them, if the sender notices you’re not having it, they’ll stop. Or that’s what you thought before the sixth or seventh little ball fell in your book. What the hell?

You look over your shoulder, there’s only one person sitting diagonally from your desk, but you can’t see who it is, because they are hiding their faces with a book. Well, trying, a few strands of hair at the top of their heads aren’t being covered. Red strands of hair.

So… Saeran or Saeyoung? Even though Saeran was becoming way less unbearable in the last few days - and it was about him, you’re pretty sure it has nothing to do with you trying to be more patient since he basically prevented a rape from happening with you – you two aren’t that close to the point of him trying to get your attention like this. Well, you’re not that close to Saeyoung either, you just forgot he doesn’t know that.

But it is Saeyoung, of course it’s him. And knowing the little you know about him, you better read one of these little balls or he won’t stop being a third wheel between you and Isaac Newton.

“Watchu reading?” or… something like this, his handwriting can be a little hard to decode sometimes.

“Isaac Newton and the laws of motion.” You throw one of the balls behind you , nobody notices. Because, can you imagine, some people use the studying room to study.

“Spoiler alert: he dies in the end. Would there be more laws of motion if he hasn’t died? It’s open to interpretation.” You muffle a giggle and look at him, still using the book as a disguise.

“I know it’s u behind me and u r not really reading ‘Basic Principles of Genetics’”

“How dare u accusing me so unfairly? :O” did he really draw an emoji? Oh God…

“The book is upside down, Saeyoung.”

You look over your shoulder to see him turning the book to the right position and adjusting himself in his seat. Rolling your eyes lightly, you muffle another laugh.

“See? I’m learning EVERYTHING about Mendel and peas. In your face, MC!”

“Good, so go back to studying the peas and I’ll go back to Newton.”

You avoid looking behind you, you know it would just encourage him on keep exchanging notes. And though it’s fun, you really need to study right now!

And he apparently gets it, as the balls stop flying. You’re relieved! And… bored. Seriously, so bored… your eyelids are almost getting heavy. Where’s Saeyoung and the paper balls attack to keep you awake?

“Ok, tell me more about the peas.” You see him smirking when your paper plane lands on his desk.

“I know shit about the peas. Can I kidnap u in 15 minutes?”

“Such an improvement from when u used to kidnap me without asking me first.” Now he is the one holding his laugh, but he’s less discreet and some other students glare at him.

“I’ll be waiting for u next to the exit.” He lets the last note when passing next to your desk before leaving the room.

Well, you’ll apologize for ditching Isaac Newton. See, it’s not you, it’s him. It’s just not working and you think you should see other people. Saeyoung, in that case. He might be a handful sometimes, but he’s definitely not boring.

“I thought you wouldn’t come.”

“I really shouldn’t, to be honest. But this book is almost making me sleep. Especially now that you told me the end.” You stick your tongue out and he laughs softly. “So, where are we going, mr. kidnapper?”

“What kind of kidnapper would I be if I told you that? It’s a secret! Come on!”

You two take the bus. And you were worried about not having much to talk to him, but Saeyoung lets almost no blanks. He always has something to say about some place you’re passing by. And that is pretty comforting, actually.

“That’s our stop.”

“Usually it’s mine, indeed.” Yes, your uncle’s record store is just a few streets ahead. You noticed between all his blabbering that the way was being very familiar.

“Mine too.”

“Really? You live nearby?”

“No, I work nearby.”

“How come I never saw you before if we take the same bus?”

“Because you usually sit right there with your headphones and a resting bitch face that make people think you don’t want them sitting beside you.” Well, you really do use your phones and the… resting bitch face in order not to be bothered, especially by boys. But Saeyoung is a boy and he never bothered you. How long have you two been taking the same bus? How long has he been observing you? “And here we are.”

He stops in front of a store. A little bigger than the record store you work, the glass window and the light tones of yellow and white in the front gives even more depth illusion, but it’s an old building, for sure. And judging from the movie posters in the window, it looks old on purpose. It’s a video rental store.

You heard about this place before, actually. You passed by in your way to the record store and couldn’t help but thinking there is another shop lost in time very close to yours. You would imagine if the people who worked here were aware that the owner looks for nostalgia rather than profit, or would they really hope having a lot of customers.

“You’re not the only one in the band dealing with obsolete medias, MC.” Ah, so Saeyoung knows, just like you. “Come in.”

“Wait, it’s closed. Won’t your boss get mad?”

“It’s fine. He gave me those keys so I can come whenever I want. He doesn’t want to lose his only employee, after all.”

“And what do you do here?”

“Look at all these movies! What do you think I do?” you look around, yes, there are a lot of movies… how many of them did he watch? “I mean, I watch them, but there is another thing, come with me.”

He guides you to the back of the store, where the poster of a semi-naked lady is doing the shush gesture in a sexy way, and the warning “Do not enter if you’re under 18 years old.

“Come in, MC.”

“Ugh, the sign…”

“It’s a sign, not a cop. Come in.” he grabs your hand and brings you inside.

You look around and most of the movies are piled in the corner. Oh, thank God, you were so sure it was going to be walls stuffed by VHSs and DVDs covers of women being filled in holes you’re not sure they should be filled… instead, there is a pair of DJ pickups, a sewing machine, two mannequins, and records. Lots of records.

“Recognize some of them?”

“You got them at my uncle’s store?”

“Most of them I bought online. I must say the hip-hop’s selection at your uncle’s store is not that vast. I even wrote a note and put it in the suggestions box you have there.”

“My uncle neverreads it, sorry. So… you’ve been there before I joined the band?”

He smiles while turning on his equipment. “I was looking for Tupak and you told me there wasn’t much hip-hop, but I could look it up.”

“Then you asked me for help, but I didn’t know where the hip-hop albums were, because… it was my first day.” He nods, putting his headphones. “Why didn’t you tell me before?”

“We’re not that close.” Oh, so he knows that. “And I don’t want you to think I’m a yandere stalker or something like this.”

“Well, this room is very yandere-ish. The mannequins, the pink light, I mean… I think the phantom of the opera would have something like this if he lived in the90s.” he laughs loudly.

“You know what’s funnier than your joke? Saeran said exactly the same thing.”

“He did?”

“Yes, you two have a very similar sense of humor. Too bad you don’t really like each other, you would have fun together.”

“I… I don’t really hate your brother, Saeyoung.”

“I know, and he probably doesn’t hate you either. He’s just… he doesn’t know how to express his feelings too well, I… think he meant something completely different when you told us that Rika wanted to kiss you.” And you know that by now. You could tell him you do, but… you don’t really want to remember that night…

“Gosh, when you put it like that, it makes me feel really ridiculous for even considering that.”

“It’s not ridiculous. Maybe you and Rika has that… hot rivalry tension like Crystal Connors and Nomi Malone in Showgirls, you know?”

“I can’t believe you’re saying something in my life resembles such an awful movie, Saeyoung.”

“Hey! It’s a great movie! Great quotes, great dancing moves, great, uhm… breasts.”

“Of course you liked the boobs.” Even under the pink light, you can see him blushing. “But it has a pretty cool sex in the pool scene… I guess.”

“MC, you’re 15! You can’t watch things like that, young lady!” and you know he’s teasing, since he basically dragged you to the porn section of the store.

“Tell that to my uncle. I swear he has no idea how to deal with a teenage girl.”

“Especially one like you, I suppose.”

“What is that suppose to mean?”

“I mean, you’re very… well, you’re very unique, MC. You know a lot about culture from past decades, and… you’re a salty little smug, and… stupid people can’t really hold a conversation with you for too long.”

“You know you could easily be describing yourself right now too, right?” another blush under the pink light, from both of you now. “So, uhm… the pickups, huh? So vintage, do you remix?”

“I try, but it isn’t as easy as doing in the computer. Here, listen to this.” He hands you one of his headphones, and you immediately shake your head according to the rhythm.

“Public Enemy.”

“Yeah.”

“That’s so cool, Saeyoung.”

“Thank you! My stuff in the laptop are better, to be honest.” He grabs his laptop in his backpack and sits on the floor, you lean your hands on your kness and bend down when he connets the headphones in the laptop. “See? I asked Yoosung to play the piano for me and I basically recreated the base in No Diggity by Blackstreet.”

“And the waves here are you singing?”

“Yeah. It’s me trying to… rap, actually.”

“Oh my God! Let me hear this!” you press the play before he can protest.

“It's going down fade to Blackstreet. The homeys got abby collab creations, funk like acne. No doubt I put it down never slouch, as long as my credit could vouch, a dog couldn't catch me straight out. Tell me who could stop with Dre makin' moves. Attracting honeys like a magnet. Giving them ig-asms with my mellow accent. Still moving his flavor with the homeys Blackstreet & Teddy: the original rump shakers”

And you could laugh and make fun of him, but all you do is:

“Shorty get down, good Lord. Baby got 'em open all over town. Strickly biz she don't play around, cover much grounds. Got game by the pound, gettin paid is her forte. Each and every day true player way”

He joins you in singing: “I can't get her outta my mind.I think about the girl all the time”

And he moves to the second part of the song: “She's got class and style. Street knowledge, by the pound. Baby never act wild, very low key on the profile. Catching villians is a no, let me tell you how it goes. Curve's the word, spin's the verb. Lovers it curves so freak what you heard.”He’s… he’s looking straight at you, like… he’s singing to you, like he means it.

Who knew he actually knows how to sing? You remember Saeran teasing him for not playing any instrument, but the thing is he doesn’t even need it. Look at what he has here, he sews the outfits for the band, reproduces beats for famous songs in modern and traditional equipment, he… knew you almost since your first day in this town. And yes, you weren’t close, and that’s a shame.

“So, uhm… pretty lame, huh?” he asks, taking you aback.

“Well, I don’t know if it is ‘ig-asms’ material… yet.” He laughs, and you chuckle from his laugh.

It’s just in that moment you realize how close you are, you can almost fell his breathing against your nose, his… exhilarating breathing, actually. Your eyes lock with his, and you’re so glad those guys couldn’t do anything to you at that party, because, if they did… this wouldn’t be your first kiss…

And it isn’t, because Saeyoung lowers his head and looks back at the computer.

“Don’t let yourself be carried by where we are, MC.”

“I…”

“You’re sorry, I know.” Oh… not really what you were going to say. “Don’t worry. I… I won’t tell anybody about this.”

“Saeyoung, I…”

“It’s fine, MC, really. Oh, it’s late, I… should walk you home, you have a physics test tomorrow, right?” what is he doing? Why isn’t even looking at you?

Of course he’s embarrassed, you would be too if someone tried to kiss you and you didn’t really want to, but… if he says it’s fine, why doesn’t he even act like it’s fine? Again, why doesn’t he even look at you? Like you’re not worthy of it?

“I can go home by myself.”

“Are you sure? It’s getting dark and…”

“I can take the bus, I’ve done this before a lot of times, you know?” he does.

“MC, you don’t…”

“Goodbye, Saeyoung.” You gather your stuff on the floor and walk out of there.

What happened? You could swear he wanted this to happen as much as you did, it’s like… it’s almost like… he was waiting for you to make a move just so he could push you away, why?

You were so close to him, but, then again… you and him weren’t really close.And he knows that.

← Chapter 8 | Chapter 10 →

#mystic messenger fics #mystic messenger au #saeyoung x mc #saeyoung choi #high school au

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giraffles · 7 years

Text

Blaze of Glory

the second of two non-finale compliant The Adventure Zone fics I wrote in a mad dash before that episode dropped, so spoilers up through all of Story & Song and all that. shout out to my friends who came up with this ridiculous, yet so in character, fic idea. parts got a little more angsty than I intended but I’m real good at that oops.

content warning for stuff like drug use, murder, and everyone being completely unashamed about such things. listen. it’s ya boys. do you expect anything less??

Blaze of Glory (side Barry/Lup, please check those tags)

One last mission for a dear friend who can't do it himself, a plate of special macarons, and absolutely no dogs on the moon.

you can also read it here on AO3!

"You sure this is the way?" Merle asks for the third time, attempting to peer over the edge of the parchment. Taako shoos him away, pouring his concentration into trying to figure out if the map was right way up. He should have brought a compass. Or someone with any sense of direction. But there weren't many people he trusted to come along on the mission, and even fewer of them who would approve of it. It was a sensitive topic concerning a secretly sensitive man; one who would never quite understand what they were doing, regardless of the fact he had made them promise to carry out his will. Magical memory loss was a funny thing like that; because how can you miss something, be angry about something, feel any emotion, if you couldn't remember it? Even now, with visions of multiple lives he's lead all clear in chronological order, there's still that headache that comes with it. The bitter guilt and anger over not knowing something so important. Which was why it was just him and Merle-- No Magnus, as strange as it felt not to have him there, because Magnus didn't know any more. "This is definitely the right way." Taako says with confidence far beyond his means. Fake it 'till you make it, he always said. (Or was it Lup who had come up with that one? Maybe things were still a little jumbled.) "Neverwinter is right over there. Beyond that hill." Merle gives him a look that says 'whatever you say, bucko', but only crosses his arms instead of protesting. The dwarf has tried to keep the mood light, and Taako appreciates that, lest the enormity of the situation overtake them. It's one thing to kill bad guys, to strike down jellies and undead and gods-know-what still hid in the dark corners of the world. It's quite another to be actively seeking out someone to murder them. It's not even the murder part that has him distracted. That's easy, and the scumbag deserves it, deserves it a hundred times over for hurting someone so dear. What's got him a little shaken in their part in this new era they've accidentally created. The Day of Story and Song will live on in the collective consciousness of so, so many planes of existence, and they'll always be at the center of it all. Any where they go now, people know. They know of the Starblaster crew, their journey through universes, they know their faces and deeds and some of the stupider things they've done. It makes a lot of things simpler. It makes tracking down a tyrant-ex-governor really fucking hard. Taako resolves to kill him extra dead for making them trudge through all of these swamps. At least anything with two brain cells knows to avoid the two of them, and anything too stupid to get in their path doesn't live long. He can't believe he ever forgot this power, these things that make up his very core, and it's good to burn off a little steam on twig blights and awakened bushes. And now with a decade of extra adventuring under his sleeve, it's only compounded his magical ability. It's the same with all of them. Anyone would be hardpressed to find someone equal to the seven aliens that helped fight tooth and nail for their reality. "D'ya think he's okay?" It's a rhetorical question at heart, yet Merle asks it aloud anyway. "Pff, he's fine." Taako insists as he climbs over a fallen stump and tangle of exposed roots. He has to stop and pull Merle out of the snare when he inevitably gets himself stuck. "I'm sure he's carving ducks or playing ninja or whatever." It's almost too good, how he's able to lie to everyone. Including himself. Because it still feels wrong to be off gallivanting without Magnus. They'd been together for so long, been through tailor made hells and cosmic turmoil as a team. It feels wrong. Merle sighs. "I know, I know. It's for the best. I still feel bad though." "He's fine," Taako repeats, "I made sure someone would be there to keep him busy." And it had been such a trial to arrange everything. Because he had to do it in a way that kept Magnus in the dark while also not raising his suspicions. Luckily, Magnus had been willing enough to accept excuses and place enough trust in them to not notice anything. And maybe that's really what has him in a bad mood, the fact that him and Merle had to betray a man so open and honest. A man who nearly stumbled into their secret meetings about plans and intel one too many times. Taako can't wait to find Kalen and pop one in his ass.

He doesn't catch what Magnus says, but whatever it was, it has Lup laughing hysterically, nearly wheezing as she rolls off the bed. He should really see if she's okay, but judging by her muffled giggles, she's fine for the moment. Barry puts his hand in the cheeto bag, only to come back confused and cheese-less. Had they really finished the whole thing already? "Shh, shh!" Magnus attempts through his own snickers, "You have to be really quiet or it won't work!" "What won't work?" Barry asks. Instead of answering, Magnus rolls onto the floor beside Lup. She's trying to catch her breath, but breaks down any time she tries to look at the fighter. Barry joins them only because Magnus produces a tin of pringles out of somewhere, and certainly not because he felt left out or anything. Certainly not because it's real nice to lay next to Lup and just be, while she's vibrant and warm and very much alive. A lightning strike in mortal form, brimming with destructive potential and yet so sweet in a way that nearly broke him when she didn't come back. Nah. He's here for the pringles. "Lavender." Magnus declares, and Lup loses it again. "The cookies?" They had been vanilla lavender macaroons, right? With enough of each to cover up the pungent drug Lup added to the batch. Where did she even find weed on a moonbase? "Those were chamomile," Lup sounds almost offended, "He means what you sound like, babe." However that doesn't lend any clarity to the statement. "Shhhh!" Magnus places his hands over both their mouths, "You can hear color." The concept is absolutely absurd, because senses don't work like that, and yet he's seriously considering it. Time has already gone a little funky, slipping sideways and slowing to a crawl. The scholar in him has a little voice that pipes up to say that it's just the altered state they're all in-- but it's soft and hazy, and goes quiet even as he tries to chase the trails of academic thought. Lup is laughing again, and it reminds him of the conservatory, of the way the sun caught her hair on an illuminated afternoon, how they shone like strands of gold. Golden and warm and all wrapped up in each other. "Holy shit." Barry says. "I can do you one better," Lup interjects, "Don't move." "Why not?" "Just trust me." She pats both of them on the arm, though she lingers on his. And they're still for a moment, and then another, even though there's a sensation that the world is trying to move around them. He could stay like this for the rest of the night actually. Even fall asleep, maybe. "Woaaah," Magnus sounds blown away by some secret revelation, "I can feel the ground moving." "I know, right? Fuckin' crazy." Barry isn't convinced that's what they're feeling, but he lets it go. No reason to contest the fact. Not when "Operation Distract-Magnus-For-As-Long-As-Possible" was in effect. So far, so good. Hopefully they would be a little less wasted by the time that Taako and Merle got back. Hopefully, they'd be successful in their own mission, and no one would be the wiser. Then again, he had watched them work for a year. His confidence in them might be a little shaky. But that was a problem for future Barry, not high-as-hell Barry.

"We are not lost!" "It's okay to admit you made a mistake," Merle tries to be comforting, "But this isn't the right street." "We. Are. Not. Lost." Taako spits out from behind gritted teeth. The truth is, they're lost. Again. At least this time they're in the city. The really shitty part of the city. Neverwinter is still rebuilding from the ravages of the Hunger, which is heartening to see, and also made their entrance easier. Whole sections are still in ruins however, broken and sad as people try to pick up the pieces, but no one notices the two strangers in their midst. Taako had the brilliant idea to cast a camouflage spell on both of them, lest they be recognized before they could find Kalen. He's so used to having one on normally that it hadn't occurred to him at first. He played it off as waiting for the right moment. Somehow, true to their usual adventuring luck, they'd stumbled into the seedy side of town and gotten turned around. He's not scared of what anyone might try to do to them, not when Merle could backhand them into a wall with divine vengeance. It's the principle of the matter, and the fact that they're wasting time that would be better spent fulfilling a blood oath. "Just ask for directions." "No." "Taako," Merle sounds desperate, "Let's just get this over with so we can go home." Taako takes a deep breath. He's right. If anyone out of the three of them was to be the voice of reason-- Two. The two of them. "Fine," he concedes, "I'll ask the next piece of riffraff we see, but I'll have you know it's not my fault if they steal all your gold." Merle makes a comment that it's usually Taako himself doing the stealing, but he barely hears him as they round a corner and nearly collide with a group of rough looking men. He has a moment of regret for making himself look like some sort of ethereal beauty. Merle looks like an unassuming and grubby halfling with the spell, mostly because he thought it would be funny. But now they're staring down three humans and someone who might be half orc, looking at them like treasure has just fallen into their laps. "Hail and well met, my dudes," He forces a smile, "Would any of you happen to know the way to the Cheap Rat?" "That's not a place for the likes of you." One leers at them, at least a full foot taller than Taako. He also smells like he hasn't showered in a week. Gross. "Full of dangerous pieces of riffraff, it is." Oops. Him and Merle make eye contact.

Suddenly, it's show time. He can say later that it was a badass, almost graceful fight, but it was really a lot of screaming and spell casting, over nearly as soon as it started. Merle even gets a hit in with Smoosher for good measure. Taako steps over their unconscious and bloodied bodies with disdain. At least they're not dead. He's pretty sure they're not dead. The amount of fucks he has left to give are approaching a dangerous low. "God, can't ask for one easy job." Taako complains as Merle wipes his warhammer on one of the thug's shirts. "I dunno, that was pretty easy compared to other times." "I'm not sure if anything can top some of those 'other times'," Taako air quotes, "Good shot at his knee, though." "I wasn't aiming for his knees." Merle mutters, and he drops that thread of conversation.

The Cheap Rat is a semi-famous pub in the Rogues Quarter of Neverwinter. It's famous for it's booze, hard-to-find location, the no questions asked policy, and again, the cheap booze. Taako has collected multiple reports of a man matching the slimeball’s description frequenting the establishment. He's reasonably sure this is where they'll find him, and if not, maybe they can get a lead to follow. It's a dingy, beat-up looking place, but is surprisingly crowded and filled with joyous voices within. Another day he might have even considered grabbing a drink there. Taako and Merle turn a few heads when they walk in, but they don't find any trouble beyond having to push through throngs of people to reach the bar. Merle is delighted to find that the bar stools are specifically designed to allow shorter races to climb up them, which is explained when he realizes the woman behind the counter is a halfling. She's installed runners along the back of the bar so she can stand level with even tall elven patrons. "What'll it be, boys?" She asks in a sing-song voice. Another halfling darts behind her with multiple overflowing glasses. As tempting as it is, getting lit probably isn't the best plan. Spell casting while tipsy is a big no-no. "Nothing for me, thanks, but listen, darling," She raises an eyebrow at the pet name but he continues on, "We're looking for a friend of mine." The word 'friend' in this context is like acid on his tongue. Taako smiles through it. She pauses, then leans on the counter towards him. "What kind of friend?" "I thought people didn't ask questions here," Merle pipes in, "Or was that a different rodent-themed bar?" The halfling laughs, and starts pouring a glass of whiskey. "No, you've got the right one. Why don't you two come on back and we can talk?" That sets off a red flag or seventy, but he's not sure he wants to risk trying to read her mind on the off chance the spell will fail. For once they can't rush in and take things with brute force. And he doesn't want any collateral damage, heaven knows Kalen has already caused enough of that already. Magnus wasn't the only one who lost someone when Raven's Roost crumbled. "Alright." He agrees tersely, and Merle follows as the halfling pulls them into a backroom. The door shuts behind them and the sounds of the Cheap Rat instantly cease. Taako senses a warding barrier, typically used against eavesdropping both mundane and magical, and he tries to calm the danger alarms going off in his head. Merle shifts nervously. "I know who you are," She pulls a necklace from under her shirt, "This little baby negates most illusion spells. And may I say, I'm honored to have you both!" Her eyes sparkle with admiration even as he's running through three different escape plans. Like the idiot wizard he was, he never thought that someone might be able to counter something so simple, ruining their disguise and with it the element of surprise. Hundreds of near misses rattle around his head with the chorus of what if, what if, what if; And that's not mentioning the times things went horribly wrong regardless. Merle kicks him. Knocked out of his near-panic trance state, Taako recovers. "Well, uh, that saves us a lot of trouble then." "I'm Tuge," She offers, "Who are you looking for and what can I do to help?" They do their best to explain the situation without giving up too many personal details. The incident at Raven's Roost isn't often talked about, but Tuge already knows about it. Her face darkens when he tells her who they're chasing and why. "That motherfucker," She fishes a key out of her pocket and tosses it to Taako, "Up the stairs, fourth door on the left. Try not to get blood on everything, yeah?" "Loud 'n clear, miss," Merle nods, "Thanks for your time." "Let me know if you need anything else!" Tuge calls after them as they slip out of her warded room and bolt up the tavern stairs. Stealth is neither of their's forte, so he's thankful now for the ruckus of the bar customers below. Even so, they creep along the wall, moving as only fast as they dared to. Taako can barely focus past the rapid fire pace of his heart, ramped up on adrenaline and fear and maybe a little thrill. They reach the fourth door on the left. He places the key in the slot and turns it slowly. They both slip in before slamming it shut behind them. "What the hell?" Snaps a man at the desk. He's aged, but still looking well off enough to maybe pass as nobility. Graying. A little fat. "Who the hell are you?" Taako dismisses the camouflage spell on both of them. Kalen's eyes go wide. "Your worst nightmare." He takes out his wand and Merle casts zone of truth. Because of course he does. At least he's good at it. "It's not--" "Oh no," Merle waves Smoosher, "Oh no, you don't get to try to explain yourself. End of the line, bub." "We were asked to do one thing, and one thing only," Taako snarls, "And that was to kill you fucking dead. This is for Julia." Kalen doesn't have time to grovel before he's shredded by a high-level magic missile.

The trip home to the Bureau of Balance headquarters is done in relative silence. He doesn't want to admit how good it felt to murder that bastard in cold blood. He doesn't want to think about how exhausted it all made him. They sit in the ball in the carrier bay for longer than they need to, quiet, until Avi raps on the glass door. "Uh, guys?" "We're comin'." Merle sighs and pushes the hatch open. Taako follows, mostly on autopilot as Avi chatters about something or other-- "Wait, back up, Magnus is what?" "Crying in the middle of the quad," Avi confirms, "I'm not sure why. The Director-- I mean, Lucretia, she's already there." He groans. He asked Lup to do one goddamn thing. Today has already dragged on too long. Taako braces himself for what they might find while they hurry up to the main level. Lucretia is indeed there, looking more exasperated than concerned, with Magnus sobbing on the grass and Lup gently patting his shoulder. Barry looks like he's asleep face down under a nearby tree. Other employees are giving them a wide berth, with no one even attempting to come close to find out what's wrong. It's a very suspicious scene. "There you two are," Lucretia looks relieved, "He's been like this for the past half hour." "What even happened?" "I promise I'll take care of it and everything!" Magnus weeps, "I can even build a fence so it can't run off the edge of the moon!" "I told him he couldn't get a dog," She explains, "And I really just meant he can't go while he's so... intoxicated? Honestly, I'm not sure what the three of them got into." Taako has a pretty good idea. "It's okay buddy," he hears Lup begin, "I'll go steal you fifty puppies. How does that sound? As many puppies as your big arms can hold." Magnus sniffles. Then he starts crying harder. Lucretia rubs her face. "I guess he's mostly fine." Merle says. Taako tries not to laugh. "I can't protect that many puppies!" Magnus wails, "How am I supposed to protect them all?" "Yeah," Taako agrees, "I think he's gonna be just fine."

#the adventure zone #taz #taz fanfic #blupjeans #sorta #fanfiction #ao3fic #drug cw #murder cw #weed cw #I'll never come up with a better title in my life #that's it I'm all tapped out forever #go home kids #and 420 BLAZE IT #anyway #giraffles

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thenicedolphin · 5 years

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Oscars Analysis With Biting Commentary: 2019 Edition!

We are BACK, with the 7th annual Oscars post from The Nice Dolphin (see links here for 2018, 2017, 2016, 2015, 2014, 2013), where Matt provides insightful, quality analysis while Alex texts some thoughts from his iPhone about how Lego Movie 2 was robbed of a nomination even though it’s not even eligible this year. As always, Matt is in regular font, and Alex comes in with the BOLD.

You know what? Lego Movie 2 WAS robbed this year! Just like how Lego Movie should’ve been nominated for Best Picture in 2015 and didn’t even get nominated to be in the ghetto of Best Animated Feature. Horseshit. We haven’t even gotten to the first category and I’m already PISSED.

Best Picture: “Black Panther” “BlacKkKlansman” “Bohemian Rhapsody” “The Favourite” “Green Book” “Roma” “A Star Is Born” “Vice”

I’ll start by noting this wasn’t my favorite years for Oscar nominees. The top picks aren’t as good as Get Out or Lady Bird (or Phantom Thread) from last year. Or Moonlight and La La Land the year before. But there are a few great films in here, along with some mediocre picks.

Nice try sneaking La La Land in there -- should’ve at least gone with Argo. I do agree that it’s a weak year. Lady Bird would’ve jobbed out almost all the other movies this year, and it was like the third best movie from last year (behind Get Out and Phantom Thread). Honestly, just go back and read last year’s post.

I’d go to bat for Roma for sure. It’s a great film. It certainly is a masterpiece of visuals and a writer/director getting to tell his personal story. It certainly felt like a movie event to watch it in theaters.

Certainly.

The sound was really creative (surround sound to make the neighborhood and events feel alive). The visuals were beautiful and poignant, as one would expect with Cuaron. He really put all his effort in telling this story, paying homage to his childhood and to the live-in maid who so strongly influenced his upbringing.

Roma starts slow, but it builds, and I became enraptured with it during the second half. Some of the sequences are intense and well worth the previous groundwork. There’s a 10-15 minute sequence (just an estimate) that left me shook and in awe at the filmmaking (the scene starting at the furniture store). Another scene gave such emotional catharsis and helped close the movie really well. Roma also has some fun tangents and moments (I think of everything around New Year’s Eve) that some may find meandering. I dug them.

While Roma was a technical masterpiece, I’m still not sold on it as a story. Literally nothing happens for the first 100 minutes then we get some things that are completely unnerving, including one image that does not feel entirely earned, to put it mildly.

TASTELESS SPOILER ALERT

Cuaron is like “yeah, let’s focus on some dog shit for two hours. Enjoying that? Well, here look at this dead baby for like 15 minutes straight.” Dude was on screen for EONS. Thought he was gunning for a best supporting nom.

SPOILERS OVER

Roma is definitely a loving portrait of Cleo, a personal ode to the women who raised Cuaron, and an astute look into the intersection of economic class and gender in 1970s Mexico, but I can’t tell if those well-made pieces combine to make a truly great movie.

Otherwise, I’m not sure how much I’d want to rewatch this film or revisit it in entirety, but I really admired it and thought it was great. It is the frontrunner, and it would deserve Best Picture.

I’m a little worried that because of its Netflix standing and that weirdness. For example, AMC and Regal didn’t include Roma in their best picture marathons/showcases because it didn’t meet the distribution requirement for those theaters. Does that affect voters too? It seemed to with a few previous prestige Netflix films, but things do seem different now. So let’s talk about the next upset contender right now: Green Book.

Green Book is an interesting movie to me. It’s fairly polarizing because of the way it treats racial issues and the friendship between Viggo Mortensen’s white Italian character (Tony Lip) and Mahershala Ali’s black character (Don Shirley). You may have seen some of the controversies, such as how Shirley’s family wasn’t consulted on the film and disputes some of the representations of Shirley’s relationship with his family (deserving of criticism in my opinion). There has been criticism of director Peter Farrelly’s past on-set antics, or co-writer (son of Tony Lip) Nick Vallelonga’s tweet history (less of an issue to me to criticize the film, but still, not great, Bob).

First and foremost, FOCK this movie. Tony Lip is racist as hell! Like REALLY racist. You can tell it was written by his son, because the movie treats Tony like he’s the perfect man who was just a touch unexposed to other cultures. He never really learned or grew, especially with the whole “You’re not even black!” rant at the end. He just goes from being super racist to not(?) racist because he’s getting paid to hang out with Dr. Shirley for a few weeks.

Green Book has two great leading performances and some wonderful friendship moments. It has some funny Italian moments (is this racist?), and it has some great moments of strength by Don Shirley in rougher times racially. But man… I just can’t get over some of the key aspects of the film.

The film really leans into the dynamic of hey, you’re black, I’m white, we’re different, but hey, we’re not so different! It feels antiquated, and this year, other films handled race relations better while being better stories overall (examples include Sorry to Bother You, Blindspotting, and If Beale Street Could Talk). Green Book’s lack of nuance reminds me of Crash and Driving Miss Daisy. Hell, the movie is called Green Book, and they barely mention it! They should have just called it something else.

I get that little Nicky V. wanted to make a film about what a big man his daddy was, but it really only should’ve been loosely based on the Lip-Shirley friendship, and it could’ve avoided all the embarrassing fallout about Shirley not actually being estranged from the family/culture.

The flipside of this is whether or not Green Book is an entertaining, good movie. And in some ways it is. The friendship is fun. The banter is entertaining. I really liked Wesley Morris’ analysis of this on a podcast with Bill Simmons, who discussed how, when you take aside race and the message, the friendship is well-portrayed and some of the editing and scenes work well.

The first 30 minutes of this movie is some of the worst stuff ever recorded. Not even in terms of movies, but like, anything. It’s just Tony and his family being super racist, him entering into a hot dog eating contest (lmao what) and hacky banter between Tony and Dr. Shirley. Tony having to explain the concept of fried chicken to Dr. Shirley was a low point in a year that featured the existence of 15:17 to Paris. LOOK AT THE BABY CHICKEN LEG SPENCER

But Green Book is trying to talk about race. It’s what the film emphasizes and it’s what the creators of the film emphasized during their awards run. And if you handle that clumsily, it’s hard for me to separate that from my enjoyment of the film. I don’t need to see more stories about white guys thinking black people are deplorable, and then well, you meet a black guy, and he isn’t so bad! That’s not a great story! Ultimately, Green Book is a solid film with some troublesome messaging that weighs it down. And the film isn’t so amazing story/acting wise to overcome those issues. It’s just kinda… vanilla.

I’ll speak more on the leads in later sections, but if it wasn’t for Mahershala Ali’s deeply nuanced portrayal of Don Shirley, this movie would be completely irredeemable. Fortunately, he’s actually given a character with some agency, but everything about him is all done in service of the white man’s story about his “growth” as a person, which is really just him learning to be less of an asshole -- not exactly a hero turn!

Also, how many fucking times did they need to cut back to Tony shrugging in the Orange Bird? Geez, we get it already.

One more point to rant on: the fact that Tony’s son co-wrote the screenplay, and then Don Shirley’s family came out strongly against some of the story points REALLY rubs me the wrong way. Let’s put it this way: if a friend of mine did a story about his friendship with me, emphasizing inaccurately that I didn’t know how to eat Korean BBQ and had initially thought the idea of it was gross, and that I was estranged from my family but considered him and his family to be my family instead??? Dawg… I would haunt you from my grave for that shit.

/quietly deletes “The Nice Dolphin” screenplay

A Star is Born seemed like a heavy contender when it came out. It crushed the box office, critics and audience members seemed to love it, but it seems to have cooled off bigtime v. Roma and Green Book (really??? Green Book???). Well, I loved it, so let me sing its praises.

A Star is Born was good, but not that good. A hugely entertaining first hour followed by some terribly-paced sequences and a weirdly undefined Jack Maine (I didn’t realize how he spelled his name until that concert poster at the end) combine for an enjoyable, but uneven film.

Star is Born coulda gone poorly. Cooper trying to direct/sing/play music, Gaga trying to act, original soundtrack, and remaking an old story. Well, it works. The music is on point, the two lead acting performances are strong. There are some magical moments in this film… the scenes where they meet and flirt, where they write music together, when they perform Shallow… it’s so good! The film is good throughout, and the ending packs a wallop. I really like Star is Born, and I hope it can get more love than its likely Best Song win.

I will admit, I knew the ending before I saw it, so some of the impact was lessened and it also basically ruined that scene with Jack and his counselor. Also it was really late at night and I was pretty cranky, so by the third or fourth scene of her lumbering around the dance studio, I was ready to call it.

Still, Gaga and Cooper have great chemistry, which made the early scenes pop. However, the movie seemed like it didn’t really know what to make of Jack. Was he truly a troubled poet, or just a raging asshole using his art as an excuse for being an awful person? Was he a big country star selling out amphitheaters or a washed up, piss-soaked loser? What the movie was trying to claim as nuance really just came off as equivocation.

I am pleasantly surprised that The Favourite got as much Oscar buzz as it did. Alex can elaborate, but Yorgos is definitely a more out there director, and The Favourite seems to work really well as a pivot for him. It’s a little more mainstream, but not completely. It’s not a sell-out. This movie is still probably too weird and rated R for some people.

As a true Yorgite, I am THRILLED that my man is getting more mainstream love. The Favourite and Black Panther are my two favorite Best Picture nominees this year, despite them basically having no shot at winning.

Even going a bit “mainstream” here (this is the most natural-sounding dialogue in the Yorgos filmography), Yorgos sacrifices nothing about his unique, vicious style. This movie is as nasty, biting, and hilarious as anything else he’s done, and the entire cast (especially the three leads) delivers.

I really liked it. The performances were great, the story was really fun (Mean Girls but in a royal setting, or All About Eve, which I haven’t seen), the camerawork was interesting. I like how unconventional it was in some ways, like the ending just sorta sneaking up on me.

I saw this in a packed theater and I could definitely tell it was a lot of older couples who thought they were in for something along the lines of “The Crown” or “Downton Abbey,” and not heavy lesbian erotica. Also, despite what he says, I don’t consider Matt a true Yorgite, so it’s no surprise he wasn’t ready for that ending. My first thought when them bunnies hit the screen? “Yorgos, you’ve done it again!” A true masterpiece.

People are worked up about Black Panther getting a nomination, and I’m like… have you seen Bohemian Rhapsody or Vice? And you’re mad about Black Panther?

People being mad about the Black Panther getting nominated and Green Book getting legit Best Picture love? If only there was some common thread here...

First, I’ve definitely had friends surprised because for them, Infinity War was better… but I mean, they’re big Marvel fans so IW was a bigger deal to them storywise. Meanwhile, a lot of friends also told me how amazing Black Panther was, how it was their favorite Marvel movie, how it was so much more than a superhero movie, etc. Critics gave it strong reviews deservingly in my opinion, and it crushed the box office because it resonated with a lot of people. Just because it’s not as critically good as Roma and it’s a superhero movie doesn’t mean that it’s only in because it’s about race or that it doesn’t deserve it.

Black Panther absolutely deserved the nomination. Despite Avengers: Infinity War being a more crucial story to the MCU, Black Panther was a better, more cohesive film. IW was basically one long chase/fight scene, which I loved, but it can’t really stand on its own.

Black Panther built an entire world, populated it with fascinating characters with complex motivations, and had some badass action scenes all within the span of like two hours.

Also, come on guys. This is the same show that’s given nominations to… Bohemian Rhapsody. And Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close (did anyone actually see that?). The Post, American Sniper, Philomena (does anyone remember that?)... I mean, does a movie only deserve to be nominated because it was about an Oscar-type of topic? I say nominate more of these blockbuster movies (IF they are good). Why did Mission Impossible and Crazy Rich Asians and Game Night not get nominated when Bohemian Rhapsody did? They were better reviewed.

First of all, I take umbrage to you including American Sniper with that trash. Also, Game Night didn’t get nominated because it wasn’t that good (it’s still better than Green Book and Bohemian Rhapsody, but you get it). Crazy Rich Asians and Mission Impossible were both fantastic. Actually, here is an incomplete list of movies that are better than Bohemian Rhapsody and Green Book that came out this year, but didn’t get much, if any, Oscar love:

Annihilation Bad Times at the El Royale Crazy Rich Asians Deadpool 2 The Equalizer 2 (didn’t actually see this, but it’s got Denzel) First Reformed Halloween Lego Movie (still) Mission Impossible: Fallout A Quiet Place Searching Sorry to Bother You Spider-man: Into the Spider-verse (got some love, deserved more) Widows

Honestly Teen Titans Go! To The Movies and Venom were better than that trash too.

Anyway, Black Panther rules. It’s got an awesome cast of characters, it represents culture well, Coogler crushes the direction, the story is fun, and the villain is super compelling. People loved the ending scenes of Black Panther. This movie is worthy. Also shoutout to that last scene between Boseman and Jordan. Seriously, so good. Honestly, Black Panther had at least 4 scenes that were just as dramatic AND better-done than BR.

That sounds impressive until you realize that BR had zero well-done scenes. Seriously, every time I think about that movie I hate it more. It’s the opposite of Phantom Thread. It’s the Terrestrial Thread.

Bohemian Rhapsody is probably one of the worst movies to be nominated for Best Picture in recent years. Look, if you like the movie and find it entertaining, that’s totally fine! Just don’t tell me Black Panther didn’t deserve it when it’s better in every technical aspect.

The editing is bad. The story of the movie is a censored version crafted by the living band members of Queen to paint them in the best light. Freddie Mercury is portrayed like more of an immature punk than he deserves, and the other band members seem like the grown-ups. The dramatic scenes are not very good. It’s just fine. The acting is solid. The movie is fun when the band is playing music or making music. But it really drags at parts. A solid B- crowdpleaser. NOT an Oscar movie.

The only time this movie is entertaining is when Queen is playing/making music. Just save yourself the trouble and watch some old concert DVD or whatever. Every “based on a true story” movie is going to take some liberties with the facts, but this is the first movie I can recall that makes the true story MORE boring. This is literally the exact same movie as Straight Outta Compton, except that one was better -- and didn’t even get nominated! Straight Outta Compton is the Lego Movie of musical biopics.

BlacKkKlansman was a powerful movie, though I’ll say it isn’t peak Spike Lee for me. It is really good in moments, and it’s also weaker in stretches. Basically, whenever the main character is infiltrating the KKK or working with his partner, the movie works. The scenes about the civil rights movements are really good, especially a scene where Kwame Ture gives a speech. The movie is slower when it tries to delve into Ron Stallworth’s personal life and romance. The movie is probably 15-20 minutes too long, which would be my main critique. And the ending is a bit polarizing (it worked for me, but I can see the argument against it).

15-20 minutes too long? Sounds like peak Spike to me. Hey-ooooooooooooo!

I really dug BlacKkKlansman, but man the capitalization of the title is infuriating. I agree that it’s a bit scattered (and not in a way that actually serves the story), but overall, I think Spike put together a film that is entertaining, exciting, and sadly all-too-relevant in today’s world. The scenes from recent news at the end might’ve come off a bit clunky to some, but it really brought the message home that in some ways the movie might’ve had a “happy” ending, but in no way is the big picture a positive one.

Vice. Man. I was really looking forward to this one and I was disappointed. It felt like Adam McKay took all his tools from The Big Short and used them to excess. The Big Short was crisp and covered one specific story. Vice tries to cover a lot of years of Cheney’s life without much cohesion. I wish the movie had focused more on the VP years, which were the best parts of the movie and far too short. The Big Short’s narrator was a main character who explained a lot of complicated concepts that related to his character. Vice tried to have a random character with tons of narration, and it was all over the place without really having a reason for being in the movie. McKay also tries a few other ambitious things that don’t work as well when your movie isn’t strong. Basically, the riskier decisions stuck out more poorly. I wanted to dig this movie, but it just wasn’t very well-made, and I’m underwhelmed by its nominations.

I didn’t get around to Vice, but there’s something comforting about knowing that I’ll never see all of the Best Picture nominees. Not that I’ve ever let that stop me from providing commentary before. Besides, after Matt’s SCATHING review, I probably made the right call.

An interesting theme that pervades several of the Best Pic noms this year is the movies being directly at odds with their “true stories” in ways that actively hurt the movies. Green Book, Bohemian Rhapsody, and BlacKkKlansman all suffer from this. Maybe Vice too? Who knows.

Generally, I try to separate the movie from the real events it’s based on. Real life is rarely as entertaining as a Hollywood flick, so I totally get why Die Hard didn’t have a third act of Carl Winslow filling out paperwork. HAVING SAID THAT when the true tale gets twisted into something totally unrecognizable, is it fair to criticize the movie for that? Green Book completely mutated the character of Dr. Don Shirley to fit a narrative of friendship triumphing over racism; Bohemian Rhapsody mischaracterized the relationship between Freddie Mercury and his bandmates to create a non-existent redemption/comeback arc; BlacKkKlansman ignored all the ways Ron Stallworth sabotaged the pro-Black movement in Colorado in service of painting police as the true heroes of equality.

I don’t have all the answers here, but these three examples feel like particularly egregious warpings of reality. However, I want to use this opportunity to praise YORGOS, who took enough from history to give The Favourite some context, but was up front about his editorialization enough to where the historical inaccuracies didn’t matter, and it didn’t feel like watching some ol boolshit.

I wish First Man and If Beale Street Could Talk had gotten in over Vice and Bohemian, or in addition to (since the nominations can go up to 10). Hell, if you had just added these two to make it 10, this crop would look stronger. The follow-ups for the directors of La La Land and Moonlight, neither film was as strong as the previous outings, but both were quality art. First Man sometimes had less impressive action with its use of shaky cam in the cockpit (which made the theater experience dizzying at times), and it mostly lost the mainstream audience because it was less adventurous than movies like The Martian or Interstellar. It also chose to try to portray Armstrong as an ordinary, less romantic type of hero, which may have been to its detriment for entertainment purposes. But I really liked the story of Neil Armstrong and NASA, warts and all. It felt more authentic and well-acted compared to, oh, I dunno, BR. And the moon landing scenes were breathtaking.

Beale Street struggled for me with its back-and-forth narrative, and some characters who I wish had more to do but some of the scenes were so good, and the art of it was beautiful. I also wish foreign films like Cold War and Shoplifters could get some Best Picture love too, but I’ll talk more about them below.

Cinematography: “Cold War,” Lukasz Zal “The Favourite,” Robbie Ryan “Never Look Away,” Caleb Deschanel “Roma,” Alfonso Cuarón “A Star Is Born,” Matthew Libatique

(edit: We put these categories here as a little TND protest for when the Oscars weren’t gonna air them on the regular telecast. But we’ll leave them here still, because these categories rule.)

The presumed favorite appears to be Roma, with Cold War as a potential dark horse. After Cuarón’s go-to cinematographer Emmanuel Lubezki (three-time consecutive Oscar winner at one point, including for Cuarón’s Gravity) left, he pulled a Thanos and decided to do it himself. Roma’s photography has all the marks of a Lubezki/Cuarón joint. He did well. Some of the shots may be a bit much (as one friend asked, why so many dog poop shots?). But the tracking shots are glorious and usually worked well for art. Following the lizard around on a random day, Cleo running along the street, the shot of the men training, the forest on New Year’s Eve… and of course, the aforementioned furniture store and beach sequences.

I didn’t see Cold War, but it’s fine because Roma will win. Roma does look great, but damn can Cuaron get another trick besides panning ten feet in either direction after the natural conclusion of a scene? Seriously, he does it like every twenty minutes. I guess this is world building? “You see, here’s what’s happening to our characters. And there’s also more stuff happening...slightly to the left.”

I was very curious about Cold War after it got a best director nomination as well. The cinematography was beautiful too. And it also deals in black-and-white like Roma, and with different camera framing (I’m not technical enough to explain that). It had some great shots too, in particular a shot with a mirror that really impressed me. Of note, Cold War beat Roma in the American Society of Cinematographer Awards.

A Star is Born had some good camerawork and cool concert shots.

Great camera framing when the guy pisses himself. You really *feel* the piss.

The Favourite was worthy of a nomination too, using some unique camera angles and fisheye lens shots that could have been distracting but ended up working really well for the movie. I have not seen Never Look Away, but the trailer looked good.

Those long hallway shots in The Favourite were superb. Robbie Ryan is a true Yorgite.

Film Editing: “BlacKkKlansman,” Barry Alexander Brown “Bohemian Rhapsody,” John Ottman “Green Book,” Patrick J. Don Vito “The Favourite,” Yorgos Mavropsaridis “Vice,” Hank Corwin

LOL Bohemian Rhapsody. See the aforementioned link about the bad editing in it. I mean, I guess the montage while they recorded the title track was really fun, but cmon! I also had a lot of fun during some scenes of Venom, and I didn’t see that get a bunch of noms!

Well maybe it should have! Matt made me watch that clip of the first record exec convo from Bohemian Rhapsody, and it’s so bad it wasn’t until like my third viewing when I realized Matt was trying to point out how poorly edited it was. Seriously, I couldn’t even get past the dialogue: “Queen...is for losers” “Well I’m sold!”

Vice seems to be a favorite on Gold Derby. The movie was too all over the place for me, and I guess it would win for the most editing, because there are all sorts of jumping around and montages and random things the film does. Bohemian is the next favorite, so I don’t really care for this year’s winner. Maybe this year it SHOULD be on commercial break. Jk.

I didn’t see Vice, but I agree with Matt that more editing definitely doesn’t equal better editing. I think Billy Walsh would agree that sometimes it’s about the cuts you DON’T make.

I would vote for The Favourite. It’s crisp and efficient. Green Book’s editing is probably a strong suit too, admittedly. BlacKkKlansman could have been shortened some, but the editing during some of the back-and-forths (I think of the KKK meeting versus the black students’ meeting at the end) was really good.

I agree* that all three of these films were well-edited. It’s a shame that apparently they have no chance at actually winning this award.

*I think I’ve already set a record for most times agreeing with Matt in an Oscars post. We’re like one of those old married couples that gradually turn into the same person over the years. Sure it might make for a boring post, but at least we’re RIGHT.

Director: Spike Lee, “BlacKkKlansman” Pawel Pawlikowski, “Cold War” Yorgos Lanthimos, “The Favourite” Alfonso Cuarón, “Roma” Adam McKay, “Vice”

Cuarón is the presumptive favorite, and he would be very worthy. He shepherded this project to fruition, he told the story he wanted to tell, and he kicked ass. I’ve heard Spike Lee is a possible surprise here, but I’d rather see him get the Screenplay win. As mentioned, BK is not his strongest work for me, and doesn’t quite compare to Do the Right Thing.

Finally Matt says something stupid! Okay because BlacKkKlansman wasn’t as good as one of the greatest films of all time, Spike doesn’t deserve a win here? I’m not even saying he should win, but if he doesn’t, it’s not because he made a better movie in 1989.

Cuaron will probably take home the gold, and it’s well-deserved, as he really put his signature style on every aspect of Roma. It’s obviously an extremely personal project for him, but he never lets it dip too far into “diary” territory, and ultimately allows the audience inside of his perspective instead of forcing us to observe from a distance.

It’s dope that Pawlikowski got nominated sorta out of left field. He really crafted an interesting, powerful story, and it was creative and unique. Yorgos deserves props for his nomination, managing to combine his style with someone else’s script (first time using a script that wasn’t his!). I’m glad Peter Farrelly didn’t get the nod here, but I wish Cooper had gotten it in over McKay. Vice is not that impressive, but I really dug some of the decisions made in Star.

This might come as a surprise, but I’m quite happy Yorgos got nominated and would love for him to get the upset victory over dog dookie Cuaron. Shoutout to both guys for being able to direct the hell out of some nudity though.

Lead Actor: Christian Bale, “Vice” Bradley Cooper, “A Star Is Born” Willem Dafoe, “At Eternity’s Gate” Rami Malek, “Bohemian Rhapsody” Viggo Mortensen, “Green Book”

My Cooper support continues! I hope he wins, and it sounds like some people want him to be a surprise upset here. I thought he really built this role up and nailed it. This could have gone poorly. He could have sounded like Russell Crowe in Les Mis, his voice could have been weird, and he might not have been so likable on screen. But he was! He really became Jackson Maine and crafted this interesting, romantic, tragic character. I thought he was terrific.

*big sigh*

I agree with Matt again. Cooper was fantastic in playing a could-have-been-thankless role of a guy who does terrible thing after terrible thing, but still needs the audience on his side at the end. His singing was more than serviceable in the movie, as it was mostly done in live concert scenes where him being a little ragged fit the character/moment. Just uhh, don’t pull that shit up on Spotify.

Rami Malek is the frontrunner here, which surprises me. Again, I don’t like the movie, but I also like Malek. But Malek has impressed me much more in projects like Mr. Robot and The Pacific. Here, I feel like he is doing a solid impersonation, but he’s not blowing me away like DDL in Lincoln. I feel like he was also limited by the weak script/story. I wish he had had more powerhouse scenes and dialogue, but he just didn’t.

Oh he didn’t blow you like DDL in Lincoln? That might’ve been the greatest biopic performance of all time. “Malek was good, but his acting wasn’t as good as Spike Lee’s directing in the 80s.”

Not to defend Malek, dude is just up there doin a little bucky beaver impression -- and I like Malek! Shit was limp and lame. IAWM (I agree with Matt) in that the rest of the movie was so bad, Malek was never afforded the opportunity to rise above being a Halloween costume. Still, he did next to nothing, even with scant material.

Bale obviously made an impressive transformation in weight/look for Vice, and I always am a fan. He was pretty good here, and I’d be fine with a win, but it wasn’t his best work.

Viggo was good, but part of the problem of the movie is the fact that Viggo was the lead instead of Mahershala, as the film would have benefited more from being through the lens of Shirley’s view, and not Tony Lip’s.

Yeah, it pisses me off that Viggo (lol never realized how funny of a name that is until I just typed it) is even in this category. Sure he did a fine job playing a racist guy...maybe a little too fine of a job? I’m surprised Liam Neeson wasn’t clamoring for the role of Tony Lip, so he could do a little method acting.

As for Dafoe… I don’t know anyone who saw this film, and I wasn’t hyped enough to go see it. Hell, the idea of a 60+ year old playing a guy who died at 37 was enough to not get me hyped, even if the makers tried to say he would have looked like Van Gogh because of the circumstances of the times.

I obviously didn’t see this movie, but wow that is a hell of a paragraph. Are most people hyped by an old man playing a younger man? Actually, I heard that the producers were worried that Dafoe didn’t look old ENOUGH and were going to CGI in Christopher Plummer. Still though, “circumstances of the times?” I know 2019 seems awful, but this is a helpful reminder that the world use to be a literal hellscape.

I would have liked to see Ethan Hawke here for First Reformed. He carried the movie, he was awesome in it, and it was definitely unlike the normal Hawke performance I’ve seen before.

Matt, put a backhanded compliment warning there, sheesh. Hawke was fantastic in First Reformed and absolutely deserved a nomination ahead of Viggo, Malek, Fat Bale, and Benjamin Button-ass Dafoe.

Gosling here would have been good too. Also would have been cool to see an indie lead, whether Lakeith Stanfield in Sorry to Bother You or John Cho in Searching.

Stanfield and Cho crushed it in their respective roles. Funny story, Cho initially passed on Searching, but the filmmakers basically stole his phone number and hounded him until he agreed to do on the condition that they leave his ass alone afterwards.

Lead Actress: Yalitza Aparicio, “Roma” Glenn Close, “The Wife” Olivia Colman, “The Favourite” Lady Gaga, “A Star Is Born” Melissa McCarthy, “Can You Ever Forgive Me?”

Glenn Close is supposed to win. It’s apparently a lock. This definitely feels like another career honor, since this is her 7th nomination and she hasn’t won. Close is pretty good. The movie is OK and she has a delicate, graceful, but powerful performance here. I mainly just feel like it was the least memorable role here.

I didn’t see The Wife, but for some reason I’ve got love for Glenn, so I’m happy she’s getting a win.

Colman wasn’t necessarily the lead of the film, and it was really a three-headed monster (apparently Stone’s character has the most screentime), but she was awesome. She nailed this crazy, sad, bigtime character. I’d pull for her, and I think she has a small chance.

Colman might’ve had less screen time than Stone, but as the raunchy queen, she commands the audience’s attention much like she commands love from Stone and Weisz. Everything is in service of the queen and Colman puts every ounce of emotion and feeling into a role tightly balanced between needing fealty and needing love.

Gaga was a contender for a while, and I really liked her and was impressed with her rising to the occasion and taking on this lead role, weaving in her real life story with this fictional character. I think she didn’t always quite hit the acting level of Cooper, but she was close.

Gaga was good for a rookie, but cmon. She basically had like two expressions the entire movie (dumbstruck and covering half her face/sad and covering half her face).

I was really into McCarthy’s performance and thought this was a legit good indie film. Small story, really focusing on her character, and she carries it well! The Wife and this are smaller indie stories, but I was more wowed by McCarthy. She handles a sad sack of a character, self-loathing, mischievous, witty. I think she’s a great actress who sometimes ends up in unfortunate movies. This was a good one.

Shockingly I didn’t see Can You Ever Forgive Me?, but I’m glad McCarthy is getting love. She’s a great actress, but always finds herself in shitty movies.

I’m so glad Yalitza Aparicio got a nomination! She wasn’t quite as strong to me as Colman or McCarthy, but she has to be good for the film to be good, of course, and she is. I think the technical aspects of the movie outshine her performance in some ways, but she deserves merit.

Yalitza’s gotta be straight up laughing at all the love for Lady Gaga. Another first time actress, she actually does a great job in the film instead of just getting points because she has hit single songs. The range of emotions on her face when confronted by the nude ninja alone made her worthy of a nomination.

Who else would I have wanted? Maybe Joanna Kulig for Cold War. She’s a star, and she dances/sings/acts in terrific fashion. Also shoutout to Natalie Portman for Annihilation and Elsie Fisher in Eighth Grade. No one’s gonna remember The Wife in 5 years, but Eighth Grade will stand the test of time.

Supporting Actor: Mahershala Ali, “Green Book” Adam Driver, “BlacKkKlansman” Sam Elliott, “A Star Is Born” Richard E. Grant, “Can You Ever Forgive Me?” Sam Rockwell, “Vice”

Mahershala is expected to win, and he’s really good as Don Shirley, so I’m cool with it. He is such a magnetic actor, and he carries Shirley well. It’s a pretty different type of character from Juan in Moonlight. Juan’s performance leaned in on charisma, masculinity, and tenderness. Shirley is a character reliant on dignity, sophistication, and inner rage. He nails both. He’s really good. For all the faults I have with the making of Green Book, I do really like Mahershala here. It’s pretty wild that he’s about to get his second Oscar, but hey, good for him!

You mean an actor played two different roles? Wauw.

Mahershala completely carried Green Book and filled Don Shirley with so much nuance, complexity, and integrity that he himself should’ve gotten nominated for Best Picture. He IS the movie. It’s such a shame his character was relegated to the supporting role because there’s so much awesome internal logic to Dr. Shirley that he’s fascinating to watch and Ali does a great job of bringing all of that to the forefront without having to resort to speechifying his thoughts or emotions.

I really like Driver and always like his work. He’s a unique, compelling actor in whatever role he’s in. He has more to do in BK than John David Washington’s main character, and he’s not weighed down by the romance story. There’s something really convincing in any role Driver portrays, whether it’s Kylo Ren, Adam in Girls, or his performance in Silence. I thought his performance was pretty key to the BK story.

Driver definitely brings a fun presence to BlacKkKlansman helping to achieve the delicate tonal balance Spike was looking for. I mean, not as good as the tonal balance JGL brought to Lincoln, but I digress.

Grant was really wonderful and charming, and he really carries the movie along with McCarthy. Elliott doesn’t have a ton of scenes in A Star is Born, but each scene of his was a highlight for me. His relationship with Cooper is key to the film, and I really dug it. I don’t really see why Rockwell had to get a nom here. He’s not too essential to the film, and he does a good W impersonation, but this just pales in comparison to his role last year in Three Billboards.

Ha I only skimmed that last paragraph and just furiously googled “Sam Elliott Three Billboards” because I was confused as fock. Yeah that last conversation between Cooper and Elliott was fantastic, and Elliott is great throughout as the older brother who never got quite as much ass as Jackson Maine.

We couldn’t have thrown a nod here to Michael B. Jordan instead, for his compelling (albeit polarizing) acting job in Black Panther? I also loved Brian Tyree Henry’s character in If Beale Street Could Talk. Similar short screentime to Rockwell, but way more impactful and memorable. Henry’s scenes in Beale Street are some of the best work you’ll see from last year.

Was that acting job really polarizing? We have a term for people who have negative things to say about Black Panther. They’re called...Vallelongas. Brian Tyree Henry is one of my favorite actors, so I have no doubt that he was great in Beale Street. I do want to shout him and Daniel Kaluuya out for their performances in Widows. For a story about four strong women coming together to wreck some shit, Henry and Kaluuya stole the show. And my heart.

Also want to shout out my man Beast! Not saying he should win, but his scene to hilarity ratio in The Favourite was easily 1:1. Everything in The Favourite popped, but his presence made it even poppier.

Supporting Actress: Amy Adams, “Vice” Marina de Tavira, “Roma” Regina King, “If Beale Street Could Talk” Emma Stone, “The Favourite” Rachel Weisz, “The Favourite”

I really like Regina King, and she’s pretty good in Beale Street, but I’m sorta surprised that she became the consensus pick. She doesn’t quite have as memorable a performance for me as Mahershala’s or say, Brian Tyree Henry in the same film. She’s a great actress, but there’s not a ton for her to do, and I didn’t leave that film being like WOW, that character!

Stone and Weisz seem to negate each other, unfortunately. They are both terrific. I didn’t love Stone in La La Land but she’s really fun and vicious here. Weisz is great too and has a lot of fun. I would probably give the edge to Weisz, but I’d strongly praise either performance.

Weisz was amazing as Sarah Churchill. She is definitely the centerpiece of the film, and does a wonderful job providing an axis for all the wild shit that goes down. What really elevates her performance is that she doesn’t fall into the trap of merely being the straight woman (no pun intended, seriously), and still imbues her character with loads of cunning, fire, and personality.

Stone was great as well, and I’ll say I didn’t enjoy her in La La Land either, but that’s mostly because I was watching La La Land at the time.

Amy Adams is awesome in general and good in Vice. Marina de Tavira is really good in Roma, and her nomination was a nice surprise too. Her character as the mother is really pivotal to the story, and I thought she was good at being overall likable even while sometimes being harsh.

De Tavira gives a great performance in a role that would’ve been easy to gloss over if played by another actress. She never allowed herself to become a background character or only appear as Cleo’s boss. Her story is just as dynamic and heart-rending as Cleo’s, and with less attention given to it, only a great performance would give it the weight it needed and de Tavira absolutely delivered.

Original Screenplay: “The Favourite,” Deborah Davis, Tony McNamara “First Reformed,” Paul Schrader “Green Book,” Nick Vallelonga, Brian Currie, Peter Farrelly “Roma,” Alfonso Cuarón “Vice,” Adam McKay

The Favourite seems to be… the favourite for this category.

Nice.

It’s a fun, witty script based on historical events (and it seemed to do a decent enough job being similar enough to real life!). Updating a story for the modern times in film format is no easy feat, and I really enjoyed this story.

Like I mentioned earlier, The Favourite does a great job of drawing just enough historical context while still keeping things fresh and honest, without making the story feel bastardized.

This is Paul Schrader’s first nomination, which is pretty crazy when he’s had films like Taxi Driver and Raging Bull. First Reformed has a unique, fascinating, compelling premise and story arc. It does remind me a good bit of Taxi Driver in some ways but is its own story too.

Really happy First Reformed got a little love. In a time when we’re getting nothing but remakes and sequels, a truly original story is always welcome.

I don’t want Green Book to win. As mentioned, this shit wasn’t vetted by Shirley’s family, which seems kind of important! And it’s a bit cheesy throughout. Technically speaking, it seems like the directing/editing would be better than the writing here. Vice… that story was so all over the place. McKay’s script for Big Short was way crisper and stronger. Roma is a great film, but I don’t put its screenplay up as strongly as its other technical achievements. Eighth Grade should have been nominated here and been a contender. It won at the Writers Guilds Awards (Bo’s speech is really funny too), and Bo Burnham made a brutally vulnerable, honest story about adolescence and technology.

I usually make a joke here about how movies based on actual events should be in the Adapted Screenplay category (since they’re adapted from real life!), but I guess Nick Vallelonga really took that to heart because he basically removed any shred of reality from Green Book. May as well give Bohemian Rhapsody a nod here too lol

Adapted Screenplay: “The Ballad of Buster Scruggs,” Joel Coen , Ethan Coen “BlacKkKlansman,” Charlie Wachtel, David Rabinowitz, Kevin Willmott, Spike Lee “Can You Ever Forgive Me?,” Nicole Holofcener and Jeff Whitty “If Beale Street Could Talk,” Barry Jenkins “A Star Is Born,” Eric Roth, Bradley Cooper, Will Fetters

The rules for adapted are always funny. A Star is Born is based on three previous versions, and Buster Scruggs apparently has some adapted short stories but other completely original short stories. Weird. I wouldn’t feel too strongly about Star’s screenplay since I feel like the quality in its update is more in the acting and music, versus the writing. Buster Scruggs was a mixed bag for me, with some awesome and some meh stories.

Bro, which stories were meh? Name names! There wasn’t a bad one in the damn bunch.

BK seems to be in the lead, which would be a cool win for Spike Lee (he previously received an honorary Oscar). Apparently the movie changed a lot, which I imagine was positive for movie action/plot intrigue. I feel like whatever the screenplay did with the romance didn’t really play, but I’m not really sure what else I would push alternatively.

Matt is really hating on the romance angle in BlacKkKlansman. I’ll be honest, I barely remember that aspect of the movie, so the hate is probably warranted.

Beale Street was a worthy effort, but I felt like the narrative was all over the place and wonder if Jenkins could have done a better job conveying the story in movie form. I don’t think it was an easy book to adapt, as I’ve heard with Baldwin fiction, but the product in the end doesn’t measure up to BK. As for Can You Ever Forgive Me?, I thought it was a stellar story, and also apparently people don’t think the original memoir itself was very good, so I guess it gets points for that!

Go ahead and give Jenkins the win to make up for that L* L* L*nd/Moonlight mix up back in 2017.

Best Documentary Feature: “Free Solo,” Jimmy Chin, Elizabeth Chai Vasarhelyi “Hale County This Morning, This Evening,” RaMell Ross “Minding the Gap,” Bing Liu “Of Fathers and Sons,” Talal Derki “RBG,” Betsy West, Julie Cohen

I’m not a big documentary guy, but they have gotten more popular (Won’t You Be Me Neighbor, Three Identical Strangers, Free Solo, and RBG all were box office documentary hits this year), and I’ve ended up checking a few more out. Won’t You Be My Neighbor was one of the most noted snubs when nominations came out, and it’s a shame it didn’t get nominated. It was beloved and had a notable cultural effect last summer, and I thought it was terrific and charming. I didn’t see Three Identical Strangers yet, but I’ve heard it considered to be a snub too, which Alex can elaborate on.

Shit I had this whole paragraph written up about Mr. Rogers, but Matt just reminded me that it didn’t get nominated. Basically the punchline was that I watched it with my parents and they just clowned Fred the whole time, which I think explains a lot.

Three Identical Strangers was great, but apparently I’m the only person who either didn’t know about the second twist or didn’t think it was that shocking/big of a deal. I gotta say, capitalizing on your 15 minutes of fame by opening a celebrity restaurant in New York City is probably the most 1988 thing ever.

Also, no love for the Pope Francis doc? Guess I’ll see the Academy in hell...as I look down from Heaven!

The betting odds seem split between Free Solo and RBG, with Solo slightly ahead. I am all about Free Solo, and I hope it wins. It’s an incredible, fascinating story. Is this guy insane for making this climb? How do we feel about him with his girlfriend? How do we feel about his girlfriend with him? How do we feel about the documentary crew filming him? Are they enabling him? Deterring him? These are really interesting dynamics throughout the story. It’s helpful that everyone involved in the story is inherently likable, and they are wondering about these same dynamics. Also, although I think most people know the fate of Alex Honnold’s climb before watching, the feat is so extraordinary and ridiculous that you will still be stressed out, nervous, and fascinated watching it.

The climbing footage is awe-inspiring. The filmmakers do a great job explaining the audacity and absurdity of the climb so that the average viewer can understand what’s going on. This is such a good documentary.

RBG the person is awesome, and I’m a big fan. But RBG the documentary is just… good? I feel like voters must have been split between this at Won’t You Be My Neighbor, and it’s hard not to compare the two, since they came out around the same time and are both about revered figures. WYBMN has really good editing and panache, and an inherent charm in talking about Mr. Rodgers’ legacy and his past. RBG feels more by-the-numbers and with less impressive editing and focus. It felt a bit short and all-over-the-place. I could have used more time on her advocacy versus her time exercising or becoming a cultural meme.

WYBMN also benefited from having tons of footage from the TV shows. RBG by comparison doesn’t have as much old footage, and with RBG alive, they do a lot more interviewing her or following her around. It’s an interesting glimpse, but doesn’t work quite as well for me. It’s a good film, and I enjoyed getting more of a look into RBG’s life. But I don’t want it to win.

Minding the Gap is the other film I saw out of this batch, and it had caught my eye after being on a few critics’ best movies lists at the end of 2018. It’s on Hulu, and it definitely wouldn’t become a box office hit. It has an indie vibe for sure, as Bing Liu, a young filmmaker, follows two friends as they grow from teenagers to young adults, along with examining his own life. The film delves deeply into masculinity, physical abuse from childhood, and identity in the Midwest. It really builds and gets stronger and stronger towards the end. There are some deep emotions that this film can evoke in the viewer, and I really felt for the story by the end. Also, a bonus is that the footage of them skateboarding is really beautiful and whimsical.

Best Foreign Language Film: “Capernaum” (Lebanon) “Cold War” (Poland) “Never Look Away” (Germany) “Roma” (Mexico) “Shoplifters” (Japan)

Roma is the clear favorite here. I almost wish that if Roma was definitely getting best picture, they could just retract its nomination here so someone else could win!

Ha that’s actually not a bad idea. These other flicks don’t stand a chance when Roma is going toe-to-toe with the entire field of movies.

I really liked Cold War and Shoplifters. I didn’t get a chance to see Capernaum or Never Look Away. Never Look Away seemed to have mixed reviews, which makes me wish that Burning (South Korea! Steven Yeun!) got the nom instead. While in the lobby post-Cold War, my friend and I saw a bunch of people left Capernaum in tears, so… that seems like it must have been good and sad?

Bro, people were crying because it SUCKED. Jk, I’m sure it’s wonderful. Also, has a foreign language film ever been nominated that wasn’t a totally depressing tearjerker? Do countries besides the U.S. and France make comedies? I know there isn’t much to laugh about in Turkmenistan or wherever, but I’m just asking.

Cold War is by the previous winner of Ida, another excellent black-and-white film. While Ida was smaller scale in time, Cold War spans a romance of two musicians over some years. It similarly tackles the repercussions of WWII and the titled Cold War on Poland. The two main characters are really captivating and dynamic to watch. The music portrayed is super fun. The challenges of the times are fascinating. My one gripe is that the film felt a bit weirdly paced at times, partly because it was covering a multitude of years, and the characters’ decisions were sometimes a bit too dubious for me.

I really dug Shoplifters too. It’s a lovely, beautiful film that ponders what a family is. The characters aren’t conventional good guys, mistakes are made, and these characters try to keep their version of a family together. Sometimes the movie is beautiful and optimistic, sometimes it’s sad and heartbreaking. I also liked how the movie was intentionally confusing about some details, to add to the storytelling aspect.

Animated Feature: “Incredibles 2,” Brad Bird “Isle of Dogs,” Wes Anderson “Mirai,” Mamoru Hosoda “Ralph Breaks the Internet,” Rich Moore, Phil Johnston “Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse,” Bob Persichetti, Peter Ramsey, Rodney Rothman

SPIDER-VERSE. All the way. That movie could have gone poorly. There is definitely a lot of Spider-man content out in the world in recent years, and the movie worked by both leaning into that and truly creating its own story to stand on. Miles Morales was an awesome main character. Peter Parker was a great side character (that was definitely a risk in storytelling). Miles’ family characters were well-portrayed (shoutout Brian Tyree Henry and Mahershala Ali, AGAIN. Those dudes kill it).

Spider-Verse might be my favorite movie of the YEAR. #2 this decade behind Moonlight and all of the X-Men films. Everything about this movie is fantastic. The characters are well-drawn (emotionally and literally), the stories are engaging, and the humor, while appropriate for all ages, doesn’t include any lame juvenile shit (unlike this blog post). Folks (myself) were legit getting emotional in the theater. Looked like a screening of Capernaum in there.

The animation was awesome. It was new and unique, making the movie feel like a comic book come to life. I think the movie had a poor box office opening because of market saturation, but it ended up grossing a respectable amount based on word of mouth and audience reception. Good! Can’t wait to see what’s next.

I’d literally never seen anything like Spider-Verse. The animation was crazy dynamic, constantly shifting between more realistic and more cartoony depending on what the situation called for. Everything about this movie from the animation, to the music, to the voices is completely fresh and inspired.

The Incredibles 2 seemed to take the box office by storm, and by the time I saw it a month or so later, I was a bit let down. The movie is a bit unsatisfying in originality after so many years. It’s still good! I had a lot of fun, and some of the action sequences were pretty exciting. It’s just not as good as Pixar’s best or the first Incredibles.

No desire to see Incredibles 2. Incredibles 1 is massively overrated and all anyone wanted to talk about from part 2 is how hot the mom was. I’m good, homie.

Isle of Dogs was really fun and charming. It was a solid Wes Anderson joint. I do wish it had more agency for some of the Asian characters, and it’s still sorta funny to me that Wes just kinda dropped in with his crew + one Asian writer for the script. But yeah, it was a really fun movie. I haven’t seen Ralph since I hadn’t gotten to the first one yet. Mirai looks like my kind of jam, but I haven’t gotten to it yet. Spiderverse all the way.

Isle of Dogs is racist as hell! Why will no one talk about it??? I feel like I’m going INSANE

Original Song: “All The Stars” from “Black Panther” by Kendrick Lamar, SZA “I’ll Fight” from “RBG” by Diane Warren, Jennifer Hudson “The Place Where Lost Things Go” from “Mary Poppins Returns” by Marc Shaiman, Scott Wittman “Shallow” from “A Star Is Born” by Lady Gaga, Mark Ronson, Anthony Rossomando, Andrew Wyatt and Benjamin Rice “When A Cowboy Trades His Spurs For Wings” from “The Ballad of Buster Scruggs” by David Rawlings and Gillian Welch

Shallow is such a heavyweight here. That song is the classic from a soundtrack of lots of good songs. It’s perfect for their relationship in the story, and it’s the best scene in the film when she comes onstage to sing it. I hope they crush it live on stage. Get it, Bradley!

Would’ve loved for “Why Did You Do That?” to get an ironic nomination here. Man that song was ass. “Shallow” is a good song and plays an important role in the movie, so I’m not upset at all if it wins, but yo that part where they’re just like “Sha-la-la-la-la-low” is weak as hell. Should’ve ponied up for Jason Isbell to get the late checkout time, maybe he could’ve done something there.

Hot take: “When a Cowboy Trades His Spurs for Wings” is a MUCH better song.

Man, the Mary Poppins’ new songs were pretty disappointing. Maybe they should have gotten Lin involved in the writing. The Buster Scruggs song is pretty goofy and funny, and All the Stars is a fun anthem.

All the Stars is a fresh track, I wouldn’t be mad at it pulling an upset.

Original Score: “BlacKkKlansman,” Terence Blanchard “Black Panther,” Ludwig Goransson “If Beale Street Could Talk,” Nicholas Britell “Isle of Dogs,” Alexandre Desplat “Mary Poppins Returns,” Marc Shaiman, Scott Wittman

Feels like First Man got snubbed here bigtime. That score was really good, and it seemed like a favorite before nominations came out. I’d root for Brittell’s score. His work was beautiful in this (and in Moonlight), so a win would be cool. I generally like Desplat’s whimsy, but I don’t remember much about the score here. Black Panther’s was cool, though I feel like it was more about the songs on the soundtrack versus Ludwig’s score. Ludwig is the man though. I wouldn’t hate him getting it.

Good point about Black Panther’s strength lying in its songs instead of the soundtrack. Really disappointed in Sicario 2 overall, but especially in its score. Sicario 1 had the hottest score of the year when it dropped, but much like everything else about Sicario 2, it didn’t deliver.

Sound Editing: “Black Panther,” Benjamin A. Burtt, Steve Boeddeker “Bohemian Rhapsody,” John Warhurst “First Man,” Ai-Ling Lee, Mildred Iatrou Morgan “A Quiet Place,” Ethan Van der Ryn, Erik Aadahl “Roma,” Sergio Diaz, Skip Lievsay

Sound Mixing: “Black Panther” “Bohemian Rhapsody” “First Man” “Roma” “A Star Is Born”

This confuses me every year. Here’s a good article for the differences. Basically, sound editing awards effects (think, creating gunfire/explosion noise for a war/action movie). while sound mixing awards the soundscape/all the sounds mixed together.

So with that in mind… these categories seem to have less predictable winners, and I see that the sound editing leaders are currently First Man and A Quiet Place. I’d give props to First Man here, for doing work with the space exploration. A Quiet Place is interesting since it had to use its sound so effectively and specifically.

How you gonna award A Quiet Place for its SOUND? Smh

As for sound mixing, I really dug watching Roma in theaters. You could hear sounds, birds chirping, and it felt like you were on the street in the neighborhood of Roma.

It’s almost like you can really *hear* the dogshit squishing between the kids’ toes on the pavement.

Now, it appears that Gold Derby leans towards three options: A Star is Born, First Man, or Bohemian Rhapsody. I feel like BR relied a lot on pre-done recordings unrelated to filming, so I’m not sure about that one (though I suppose that’s the point of sound mixing, I dunno… look, I just don’t want it to win -- lmao same bro). A Star is Born had to deal with live music! It’s way more worthy.

Visual Effects: “Avengers: Infinity War” “Christopher Robin” “First Man” “Ready Player One” “Solo: A Star Wars Story”

This is easily Infinity War. Relying on Thanos as a main character meant a ton of work, and if you remember his cameos in Guardians or the Avengers post-credits, you know that he looked better here and much more fully realized. He was a mammoth, a threat, and the visual portrayal was well done. His fight against Hulk, his fight against Doctor Strange, some awesome FX. Having to weave in tons of comic characters was no easy feat too, with Falcon and War Machine fighting in the sky while Groot, Rocket, and Cap are on the ground against those bad guys.

Avengers all the way. Having a lame-looking Thanos would’ve nuked the whole movie (people are STILL talking about Superman’s CGI shave), but they knocked it out of the park. Infinity War had to be a huge undertaking, as it’s a million superheroes pulling out all the stops for like 6 hours. Kinda surprised Black Panther didn’t get any love here for similar reasons.

Ready Player One had a lot of fun effects too. It had to rely a lot on video game storytelling, and the adventure of it was pretty fun and well-done. Solo was fine.

I honestly had to ruminate for like five minutes to remember if I saw Solo or not. I think “fine” is the most accurate possible description of any aspect of Solo.

First Man was quality. I dug their comments on how there is no way they could have faked the moon landing considering how hard it is now to even try to demonstrate that in a fictional film.

That’s what they want you to think, sheeple!!!

Christopher Robin? Wasn’t that bear real?? What are you trying to say???

Realest bear since the one that took Leo’s ass in The Revenant.

Production Design: “Black Panther,” Hannah Beachler “First Man,” Nathan Crowley, Kathy Lucas “The Favourite,” Fiona Crombie, Alice Felton “Mary Poppins Returns,” John Myhre, Gordon Sim “Roma,” Eugenio Caballero, Bárbara Enrı́quez

Costume Design: “The Ballad of Buster Scruggs,” Mary Zophres “Black Panther,” Ruth E. Carter “The Favourite,” Sandy Powell “Mary Poppins Returns,” Sandy Powell “Mary Queen of Scots,” Alexandra Byrne

Black Panther was sick. Weaving in futuristic elements with African culture. The sets were wild. The costumes were fantastic. The Favourite did a good job doing the royal vibe too. The NASA production that they had to recreate in First Man made it feel really authentic. Same for Roma. Lots of good stuff here.

Agreed on Black Panther for all the reasons Matt mentions, but I think you gotta go with The Favourite here. Those people looked like they STUNK. Just fucking gross all the way around -- and it was PERFECT.

The Ballad of Buster Scruggs and Roma had great design as well. As an anthology, Buster Scruggs had the added degree of difficulty of making sure every story appeared distinct enough while maintaining the overall look and feel of the movie.

Makeup and Hair: “Border” “Mary Queen of Scots” “Vice”

I mean, you saw Christian Bale as Dick Cheney. Lock this up.

Clink-clink!

Animated Short: “Animal Behaviour,” Alison Snowden, David Fine “Bao,” Domee Shi “Late Afternoon,” Louise Bagnall “One Small Step,” Andrew Chesworth, Bobby Pontillas “Weekends,” Trevor Jimenez

“Weekends” by Trevor Jimenez sounds like a banger of an R&B album.

Best Documentary Short Subject: “Black Sheep,” Ed Perkins “End Game,” Rob Epstein, Jeffrey Friedman “Lifeboat,” Skye Fitzgerald “A Night at the Garden,” Marshall Curry “Period. End of Sentence.,” Rayka Zehtabchi

Best Live Action Short Film: “Detainment,” Vincent Lambe “Fauve,” Jeremy Comte “Marguerite,” Marianne Farley “Mother,” Rodrigo Sorogoyen “Skin,” Guy Nattiv

Bao was a fun, sweet short that had some nice Asian representation… that’s all I got.

I’ll be watching the documentary shorts the night before the Oscars, but wanted to get this post up before then, so if you want my thoughts on those nominees, holla at ya boy.

As for everything else? I probably agree with Matt.

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windandwater · 7 years

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I’m done with War And Peace, and I enjoyed it very much, but there is a part where he lost me, not just a little bit but completely fucking lost me to the point where....well. Let’s talk about it.

Warnings for discussion of abuse/cycles of abuse, purity culture, the patriarchy, and other ways that women get fucked over by society. Also massive spoilers.

Here’s the section, this is from the Pevear/Volokhonsky translation, the Epilogue, Part 1 Chapter 10, bolded emphasis mine:

Discussions and arguments about women’s rights, about the relations between spouses, about their freedom and rights, though they had not yet been called “questions,” as they are now, were the same then as they are now; but these questions not only did not interest Natasha, but she decidedly did not understand them.

These questions, then as now, existed only for those people who see in marriage nothing but the pleasure the spouses get from each other, that is, nothing but the beginnings of marriage, and not its whole significance, which consists in the family.

These arguments and present-day questions, similar to the question of how to get as much pleasure as possible from a dinner, did not exist then, as they do not exist now, for people for whom the purpose of a dinner is nourishment and the purpose of marriage is the family.

If the purpose of a dinner is to nourish the body, then someone who suddenly eats two dinners will perhaps achieve greater pleasure, but will not achieve his purpose, because his stomach will not digest two dinners.

If the purpose of marriage is the family, then someone who wishes to have many wives or husbands will perhaps get much pleasure, but in any case will have no family.

If the purpose of a dinner is nourishment, and the purpose of marriage is the family, then the whole question is solved simply by not eating more than the stomach can digest and not having more wives and husbands than are needed for a family, that is, one of each. Natasha needed a husband. A husband was given her. And the husband gave her a family. And not only did she see no need for another, better husband, but, as all her inner forces were directed at serving this husband and family, she could not even imagine and saw no interest in imagining how it would be if it were different.

I need a minute for how much I could not fucking comprehend how on earth Tolstoy drew the conclusion in bold.

Women’s rights and equality of spouses is only important to people who aren’t invested in their families???????

WHAT???

Here’s the thing. If this was a run-of-the-mill garden variety dudebro writer, I would be extremely irritated but not surprised, and write the book off as an overrated garbage fire, the end.

That’s not what happened. Let’s take this character by character.

First of all, Princess Marya. Marya starts out the novel with an emotionally manipulative and abusive dad. He controls her life completely, to the point of reading her letters, screaming at her and terrifying her so much that she��s totally paralyzed in his presence and then yelling at her for being stupid, guilt tripping her every time a man so much as looks at her, taking advantage of her, blaming her for shit that’s his fault, gaslighting her, the whole terrible, horrifying nine yards.

Her only way out of this situation is to get married, which she can’t do because he keeps driving suitors away. Unless he dies, which he eventually does, and let’s hope a good man scoops her up at that point.

(Lucky for her, one does. The key word there is lucky. I’ll get back to that.)

Meanwhile, the cycle of abuse is already in play. She has trouble raising her nephew because her only instincts are the ones her dad instilled in her, and she finds herself yelling at him for the same reasons her dad yelled at her.

And then dad kicks the bucket, and she gets married to Nikolai, but Tolstoy is good at what he does, because even then you can see her trauma. She freaks the fuck out every time she sees her husband get mad at someone else. When she senses her husband is in a bad mood, she blames herself and spirals into guilt and terror when he brushes her off won’t talk to her about it.

But Nikolai is a good guy. He makes a massive effort to control his temper for her sake, manages to talk to her and make sure she knows his bad mood isn’t her fault, is very sweet to her when he finds (and she agrees to let him read) her diary that’s all about raising her kids. He not only loves her, he appreciates her, respects her work, supports her.

Lucky thing he came along, huh? What would have happened if he didn’t, Tolstoy? What would have happened if Marya had been taken advantage of by another abusive shitty man, as so often happens to women in her situation?

What would have happened, if, in Tolstoy’s framing of the situation, Marya had been invested in her family but her husband wasn’t? She has no rights, no recourse. Nothing. What would have happened to her?

Next, Natasha. Natasha got engaged to Andrei at sixteen, he went away for two years at the insistence of his shitty dad (also Marya’s dad) who didn’t like her. So she was engaged but not allowed to see her fiancee. She meets her fiancee’s family in Moscow and they treat her like garbage, she’s sixteen and not used to people being assholes to her for no reason.

In swoops Anatole, a major hottie who happens to be SECRETLY MARRIED. He takes advantage of her vulnerability, tells her how great he is, pretends to love her, pretends he’s going to marry her, is all set to sweep her off to a fake marriage just so they can bang, when luckily (there’s that word again) Sonya finds out what’s going on and tells on her so it can be prevented.

So Natasha is saved from being “ruined,” but her marriage to Andrei is impossible.

Later on in the novel they make up, Natasha and Marya also make up, Natasha marries someone else (Pierre) and has a family. At which point she promptly stops giving a fuck what anyone thinks about her, because she’s so invested in said family.

I have no problem with that. If that’s what she wants and she’s able to get it, great. Go for it. And Tolstoy’s descriptions of how these couples are super in sync is kind of sweet, though I could do without the “her will was completely subsumed to his” bullshit.

Here’s the question though: what if she hadn’t been “saved?” What if Anatole had gotten away with it? What if her future had been completely ruined by one jerk who preyed on her youth and vulnerability? What if she had fallen victim completely to the man who wasn’t invested in a happy future for her?

Lastly, Sonya. Sonya is Nikolai and Natasha’s cousin and she’s suuuper in love with Nikolai. Unfortunately she’s also an orphan with no money and the Rostov’s (that’s the family) are short on cash and in a lot of debt. Nikolai can’t marry her.

Sonya knows Natasha will be furious if she tells the family about Anatole, but she does it anyway because it’s the right thing to do.

Later on, Nikolai falls more deeply in love with Marya but is torn because he really did mean to marry Sonya despite what his family wanted. Sonya lets him off the hook, but only because Natasha and Andrei have reconciled (Andrei is Marya’s brother) and if they get married, Nikolai can’t marry Marya.

(because marrying your cousin isn’t incest, but marrying your sister-in-law is. okay.)

Then Andrei dies. Womp, Nikolai can marry Marya after all.

And that’s it. She’s screwed. She doesn’t marry someone else. Pierre, Natasha, Nikolai, and Marya all live together, and Sonya lives with them and helps raise the kids. Everyone feels sorry for her and knows they’re taking advantage of her, but there’s nothing they can do to change it.

Sonya didn’t get lucky.

So there it is, Tolstoy. You wrote this. You did this to your characters, you showed these women struggling because of what bad men did to them, and then your solution was that they found good men and everything worked out. Except for one of them, whose fate was to be second-best for entire life.

And then you had the audacity to pretend that Natasha not understanding the point of women’s suffrage is a sign of happiness and fulfillment, not utter blindness and insensitivity.

You had the audacity to try to tell me that questions of women’s freedom and rights only come from people who aren’t invested in their families.

Yes? And when do men get punished for this lack of investment? When do men suffer because they made women suffer? Where in your story did they feel the consequences of their actions, because of their actions?

And what if, Tolstoy, just as an exercise, what if your women had autonomy? What if Marya could leave and be her own person separate from her father? Maybe she wouldn’t have done it, it’s still a hard thing to do even when you’re not technically your father’s property, but what if that was possible? What if Natasha could have continued to have a life and boyfriends and a future even if she did sleep with someone who wasn’t her (absent) fiancee? What if Sonya had options available to her that weren’t “marriage” or “stick around raising other people’s kids?”

And what if they hadn’t found good men? Do they deserve to have horrible lives forever just because a good man never came around? Would they not be invested enough if they were the ones doing all the work and their husbands treated them like garbage?

Maybe Natasha would have screwed herself over some other way, maybe Sonya would still be a doormat her whole life. These things happen, this is life.

But how dare you tell me that these characters wouldn’t understand the need for women’s rights. How dare you reduce the question so insultingly. You know better, I know you know better. I read your entire goddamn book. Quit talking and listen to yourself for ten damn minutes and think about what you just said.

And if there’s an afterlife and I find you in it, know that you are now on my list, along with Herman fucking Melville, of authors I am going to scream at. Consider your ass warned.

(Note: I am not going to spread the “I know it was a different time and people thought differently” disclaimer throughout this post. I know, okay? I know. I’m furious because he got so close, not ~~for someone of his time~~, but as a human and an observer of humanity and how it works. He wasn’t perfect and there’s plenty of other ~~for the time this was normal~~ bullshit that stings and will always sting. But he did so well despite those limitations. And then he fell short. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t waiting for the blow, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt. So I’m not going to waste any more energy on that argument.)

#adventures in text posts #war and peace #tolstoy #adventures in reading #I adored this book and will recommend it to my last breath #which is exactly why I am SO PISSED OFF about this #what the fuck man. WHAT THE FUCK.

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tori10rambles · 7 years

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I have finally stopped screaming about finishing Seven's route in my head, and Lunar New Year celebrations are over for today. Therefore, I wrote this.

I saved my favorite the best character’s route for last. And wow. This one was a roller coaster too. But more for my heart than my sense of fear. It did not disappoint.

As usual, I vascillate a lot between first and third person POV, referring to MC as myself (I/me) or as her own character (MC/she), though she shares parts of my personality since she's supposed to be me.

Unlike the last couple of posts, this ones really freaking long, because I decided to write the commentary as the chatrooms popped up, and not at the end of the day. Still not a lot of commentary on Day 1, though.

Also, there is now a section for MC. Because I have some issues with the "choices" she gets to make.

I will probably post an After Ends reaction post today and take some time to process Seven’s route before going onto the Secret Ends. :)

Obviously, ridiculously spoiler heavy, so everything’s under the cut.

Seven Saeyoung Choi

(Day 1) the fact that Seven doesn't see himself as the knight in shining armor type is kind of sad. But I'm glad that he wants to protect MC.

Your laugh is so cute!

(Day 2) Seven needs to take a goddamn break. Just because he cares about finding out what's going on doesn't mean he has to lose sleep over it. I mean, he's probably awake anyway doing his actual work. But still...

Seven's reaction to the "110-000-110 & 111-000-111" response is GREAT. I don't think people go along with him all that much though, if that's his reaction.

I feel like Seven needs more pep talks and encouragement than he gets. Which, you know, I'm so down for giving.

The fact that he doesn't want his work to bother MC. Like, you're her friend? of course it's going to bother her? And of course she wants to know how you're doing?

Okay, but legit, has anyone ever told Seven to take it easy? if that's his response?

playing along with Seven is so much fun!

Its kind of sweet that he says MC isn't weird even though she's in a weird situation.

...Why does it sound like you don't get complimented often?

Hell yes MC want's more pictures of you. You're the one she's seen the least of. And you're actually more attractive to her than Zen.

What kind of bs do you put your poor maid through for her to ask for double her pay if you get a cat?

Those cars are awesome, and I want to ride them.

I wonder what kind of stuff you're going through now to make you more secretive than usual...

lmao, buying cars does not seem like a good way of saving or investing money. But yeah, I can totally believe he'd sell the cars if they were worth more than he bought it for.

You're a tinkerer!!! Ooh. That's so cool.

Also, you make an awesome female. Like, better than me. wtf?

his maid has to be badass if his job is risky.

...why does he sound surprised that MC's worrying about him? like, he's been really cool so far, and really, seeing people hurt or in danger is not her jam.

OF COURSE IT MATTERS IF YOU GET HURT. WHAT. WHY. WHO TAUGHT YOU OTHERWISE!?

Also, it's not your job to protect someone's feelings. I mean, feel free to try, but a person's emotions are not solely affected by you? And you shouldn't feel horrible when feelings get hurt despite what you do? because people react to things their own way? idk if i'm making sense

...You need a friend you can be completely honest with. I mean, probably not gonna be me/MC, but find one? Please? it'll make you feel better, and me/MC worry less.

helping you mess with people is kind of fun

(Day 3) Get some rest God Seven!!!

Of course I trust you! You're very nice. Also, I'm pretty sure people I couldn't trust wouldn't be so sorry about the whole other hacker business. And the keeping people away to keep them safe.

...I feel like you're getting my hopes up. You mentioned the other day that you want to protect people, which includes you keeping them away. but you keep saying things that make me wanna fall for you.

It's kind of adorable that he thinks that despite all his hacking, he still wants to get to know MC in person/over chat.

At least you know how hypocritical your advice on eating is lololol. But wait, if "I reccommend snacks to people like me and Yoosung, who are stupid or lost or have no reason to live" is a correct statement, then I qualify. And which one are you? And Yoosung?

"You can dream about me. Special guest 707 as the main lead." Don't say things like that! You'll give MC me people ideas.

...what is it about you and Jumin that makes the two of you LIKE it when I scold y'all?

I can get behind The Law of Salty and Sweet

SOMEONE GET THIS MAN A BREAK LONGER THAN A FEW HOURS

I feel like more of this HBC story is real and serious than you'd like us to believe

Man, you are talking to a girl so curious (and reckless) she followed a stranger's directions. Of course I wanna know more about you!

(Day 4) I wonder how religious you are exactly.

lololol his reaction to MC saying "I want to lick it"

...why is Seven trying to set me up with Jumin? Nope! I like Seven!

I love Seven's hair! It's cute! Just like him!

Harry Potter reference! You nerd~!

Your relationship with V is interesting.

...my heart? You can live in my heart if you want. :3

but i refuse to believe that you're too dangerous for people to know

also, messing with Hackers Chasing Hackers on your behalf is so much fun!!!

(Day 5) i actually hc you with ADHD? Like, it seems really obvious to me? But Vanderwood's being rude about it? but then i also hc you're a little shit to Vanderwood, so it's payback of a sorts

are you... are you actually apologizing for being hacked into? I mean, you couldn't help it? it's not your fault?

not surprised you graduated early from college

lololol, not a code. Me blowing kisses into the air

bodyguard robot FUCK YES i'd prefer you, but i'll take what i can get

FIRE BREATHING ROBOT I WANT SO MUCH

I'd take the robot anyway! And it's the thought that counts!

lololol, fourth-wall breaking Seven is great, especially when HE'S the one flustered

I wonder if there actually are CCTV cameras in the apt. I wouldn't be surprised. or, you know, if he'd hack into a webcam in the apt b/c he's being paranoid.

Also, observing me? What did you do, hack my webcam or something?

Honestly, i don’t mind you being upset/confused? It's kind of cute. And makes you seem more human/relatable

Welp. There goes my heart. This guy is a tsundere omg.

YOU DESERVE TO LOVE AND BE LOVED AND I WILL HURT ANYONE WHO CONVINCED YOU OTHERWISE.

You're not okay. please don't pretend otherwise. it just makes me worry more. :(

YOU ARE NOT PATHETIC JUST BECAUSE YOU COULDN'T DO THE THING.

How can I get hurt by getting to know you?

I always have complicated thoughts.

DO NOT JUST MAKE JOKES BECAUSE YOU'RE EXPECTED TO. JUST BE YOU, whoever that is. I wanna get to know them.

I REPEAT, YOU DESERVE TO LOVE AND BE LOVED AND I WILL HURT ANYONE WHO CONVINCED YOU OTHERWISE.

I feel like Seven has many masks. So many, that he has no idea who he is behind all of them.

Ah, running from your issues. I can relate. i'd join you on the moon in a heartbeat.

Expressing yourself does not make you weird! Admitting to emotions that you usually hide away is not weird! I want more of it!

...can't stop thinking about me?/// See, it's comments like this and "romantic relationships are not for me" that confuse the hell out of me. which one is true? which one do you believe is the truth?

(Day 6) Everyone's worried about you, bae. Please know we're here for you. Also, your inner thoughts are WRONG. Cheering me up should be considered a good deed for today.

Also, you're implying that because Pluto has been kicked out of its friend group, it can be your friend, as if you are also too distant from your friend group to be officially considered a part of them. Which is WRONG.

THIS CALL (after 10:22). SO CUTE. Until you mention (again) what a danger i'd be put in because of you. i trust you to protect the RFA ^^

A normal guy is BORING though!

You're not saying anything weird? I think it's cute!

Flustering you is literally like, the most fun a girl can have right now. Although, I'm p sure both of us talk a bigger game than we can deliver

listening to seven talk about how he reacts to things. My heart.

TAKE THE FREAKING COMPLIMENT

YOU ARE THE COOLEST, BEST PERSON.

YOU DESERVE TO THINK THIS WAY IF YOU WANT TO.

Is that... are you trying to push MC away?

NO. NO STORMING THE ENEMY STRONGHOLD ON YOUR OWN.

You are not pathetic! I'm glad I can help you relax.

lololol i talk to myself a lot too. It's cute~.

OMF... TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. YOU'RE SO IMPORTANT TO THE RFA AND ME

You look GR9 in skirts and dresses and anything you choose to wear. 100000000000/10 would enjoy seeing you dress up

the best disguise... is being normal you?

HELL YES I'D GO ON A DRIVE WITH YOU.

I feel like you're setting the both of us up for disappointment though. because you say things like you'll take me on a ride, then say i shouldn't get close to you because you're dangerous

Me? the sun? Nah, you are!

I'm so glad you're telling me things about you? I mean yeah, it's scary, but I trust you and believe in you.

DO NOT APOLOGIZE FOR BEING HUMAN.

bae, you're trying your best

YOU ARE DEFINITELY A GOOD PERSON EVEN IF YOU'VE DONE THINGS YOU REGRET.

"You and me... did we ever have any kind of relationship?" You are breaking my heart!!!! I thought we were friends at least!!!

YOU ARE MY FRIEND AND OF COURSE I WILL WORRY.

LET THIS MAN BE HAPPY THAT'S ALL I WANT GODDAMN IT.

(Day 7) The RFA has your back! Please don't hide from us

DO NOT TAKE EMOTIONAL ADVICE FROM JUMIN FUCKING HAN

...How did seven sense unknown was laughing?

QUIT BLAMING YOURSELF AS IF EVERYTHING IS YOUR FAULT.

Who is Saeran? A twin? Which... yeah. This makes a lot of the previous conversations make a lot more sense. And b/c of dramatic storytelling, explains why you heard someone laughing.

YOUR FEELINGS ARE NOT USELESS! UGH! I COULD KILL JUMIN.

Also, (LMFAO) I think there's a glitch, b/c Unknown's still behind Seven in the VN.

Seven... I just want him to be comfortable! This is where my heart starts breaking, huh?

My clothes? is that REALLY a concern right now?

It really isn't that uncomfortable that you're here. But if it helps, I guess I could not stare.

Wait, so you want me to pretend you don't exist, but not leave your sight? How does that work? You're distracting! (also, the brightest thing in the damn room)

You need to eat too!

(Day 8) Yeah, this man is a tsundere if I've ever seen one.

So your real name is Saeyoung?

Your mom is a bitch.

I mean, what’s the use in getting mad? I’m upset, sure, but honestly, I’m mostly overwhelmed and panicking.

Y'all are fucking adorable as kids

Thank you for killing the goddamn cockroaches. I can do spiders and flies, but cockroaches and anything with more than 8 legs creeps me out.

YOU ARE NOT A THING TO BE USED. YOU ARE NOT SOLELY HERE TO PROTECT PEOPLE. THINK ABOUT YOURSELF TOO PLEASE.

I don't need to care about you, but i WANT to.

...I'd agree to a GPS tracker IF I knew where they were

So in 7 minutes, you made a bunch of sandwiches with 3 different fillings, and got three different juices. And it was all for yourself. Uh huh...

Yay! You've stopped blaming yourself! (not that I believe that 100%, but at least you're trying)

ANYTHING YOU WANT TO SAY ISN'T POINTLESS. DON'T PUT YOURSELF DOWN LIKE THAT

I'm not saying you're blameless either. Just that you chose the best possible option out of a set of bad ones

Thank you for apologize for taking out your anxiety on me. Although I'm glad you weren't bottling it up instead.

MY FEELINGS ARE NOT USELESS. JUST LIKE YOURS AREN'T

Your lines sound like a cheesy break up convo.

I repeat, you are talking to someone who legitimately followed a stranger, then trusted other strangers and joined a mysterious organization. My curiosity has always gotten me in trouble

I am allowed to feel whatever I want, and I'm saying I forgive you!

I cannot believe V's first concern was the goddamn DRAWER and not, oh, I don't know, OUR LIVES. I don't blame you for reacting that way.

I don't blame you for distrusting V. It sounds like he promised you something and broke it. (And honestly, I'm starting to see where your guilt complex came from, if he was your mentor figure)

Meowy is so cute! (I can't believe Meowy HAS to obey me omg its voice is so cute)

(Day 9) Seven, i'ts not that i don't care that you're pushing me away. It's that even though you are, you’re not changing my feelings for you.

...So my personal hc is that MC isn't asleep when you start monologuing in the middle of the night.

Honestly, 707, Saeyoung, Luciel... they're all the same person. Different facets that make up a whole. And while I understand that you believe you're dangerous, so far, it doesn't seem like anything you've done has put me in danger. I mean yes, there's a bomb you installed, but you didn't want to in the first place, and that MEANS something. Not trusting anyone is no way to live, and forgetting about you would be impossible. You deserve SO MUCH MORE than just being able to protect me.

Hallelujah, you've finally admitted your problems to me! Take all the time you need to think about it though. And of course, we need to get through this first.

BLUSHING SEVEN!!! :D SO CUTE~! ❤︎

...YOUR "PARENTS" ARE THE WORST EXAMPLES OF PEOPLE I'VE EVER MET.

...So either Rika and V didn't keep their promise, or some serious shit went down for Saeran to be as he is now?

If God allows it, I'll be with you always

The RFA is your second family, of course you were going to try and protect them from your agency

lololol yes. flustered, cute Seven is back!

I'm so glad you made up with Yoosung too! ❤︎

I'm so glad you're including me in things now~!

Thanks for saying I'm cute~! You're cuter~! ❤︎

so long as i can help it, you're never gonna be alone

We're gonna bring your brother home and make sure you get that family you always wanted.

YOUR MOM IS BATSHIT. HOLY CRAP.

(Day 10) OMG you actually said it~ ❤︎ . ilu2. It is slightly ridiculous how much I love you.

Also, I can believe you are fit. I want to bite those collarbones. To say the least.

“You are my whole universe. Your breaths become the radiant milky way.” THIS THOUGHT. OMF... It’s so sweet! If Seven starts talking like that all time time, he’s totally getting some.

Now and forever gonna hc that the opening song is actually in Seven’s point of view

The fact that you talk to yourself when you work is REALLY FUCKING CUTE.

...That selfie looks WAY too good for how early we left and how little sleep we probably got.

SOMEONE LIED TO YOU AND YOUR BROTHER AND I'M GONNA KILL THEM.

"If Rika knew the real you... I now get why she messed up your eyes like that." Holy shit that was savage!

That phone call (After 20:11+VN) MY FEELS!!! That... I cried tears of joy. So good. ilusm but if you ever die for me i'll never forgive you. I want you to LIVE for me. And I'll always remember you. ❤︎

I wish you wouldn't be so quick to sacrifice yourself for us, but that's one of the things that makes me like you.

I'm touched that you'd say even that much about how I've changed your life on the messenger. And thank you for apologizing.

lololol, you said the word already on the phone, why are you hesitating on the messenger?

(Day 11) THESE PHONECALLS. A++. ❤︎

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH HOLY SHIT.

you are SUPER hot when you're threatening your former agency, okay?

Yoosung

(Day 2) Yoosung's really cute. Like a puppy. his enthusiasm for the parties are cute too.

lololol, Yoosung got played. I mean, we're talking about a guy who says almost everything about his is classified. When would he have the time/motivation to get a gf? So gullible~.

Yoosung, chill the fuck down. I realize you're happy the party's a thing, but seriously. Chill.

LMFAO Yoosung. You just mentioned being done with LOLOL. You game addict.

For $3, that's actually not a bad lunch. But yeah, college food is bland and not as healthy as they make it seem.

with how much you play LOLOL, are you okay? As someone whose internet obsession is used as a crutch because real life is stupid and aggravating, I'm seeing some parallels.

Wow, Yoosung, that's some imagination. Although, with how secretive Seven is, I wouldn't be surprised if he's working for rich, powerful people.

You and your ideal relationship is so innocent and cute lololol

be careful about your stereotypes Yoosung.

(Day 3) It's not that I want you to stop playing LOLOL, so much as I'd like you to talk about why you play the game so much (again, I see parallels). But if it makes you happy, I'm not gonna force you to stop.

Motherfucker, you're 5'6" (171cm), and the shortest male here, but still taller than me. Stop complaining about your height.

lololol, Yoosung's definition of exercise sounds very familiar my brothers and I

Directionless Yoosung, you are like, the epitome of male college gamers everywhere. And also my brother, who is in college, and has no idea what to do in life. Huh... I wanna adopt you now. You've got to be better than my brother. Your birthdays are close enough that I'm p sure no one would notice...

you are also very easy to tease.

And you obvs have issues with V. Which probably aren't being taken seriously b/c V is like, everyone's friend/savior in that group.

(Day 4) That was not a typo, Yoosung

lololol, i can't believe you took me seriously. "Sophisticated Choi" lolololol

i'm with you on the no religion thing though. mostly because my parents thought i should decide for myself (personally, i'm pretty sure i'm deist. i believe there is SOME kind of higher power(s), but I don't believe in organized religion as such)

fucking... the M call. I'm never getting over it.

(Day 5) Nice to know that Yoosung and Zen are shippers on deck

Yoosung's relationship with his parents sounds like mine, only my parents are blue collar workers.

(Day 6) I CANNOT BELIEVE JUMIN CALLED YOUR MOM ON YOU!!! I empathize. Letting my parents into my college apartment sucked

(Day 8) I'm glad you want to change for the better. The fact that your mom didn't want to worry you when you've been goofing off is such a punch to the gut, I should know.

(Day 9) I'm sure Seven didn't mean it.

See! :D

(Day 10) Drunk you is surprisingly funny. And candid.

(Day 11) Your poor hangover lolololol.

I'm glad you're still optimistic at the party... despite everything,

Jumin Han

I think I might be holding a grudge about how badly Jumin's route messed with my head, because I'm not feeling remotely bad about getting Jumin's Heart Breaks throughout this route.

(Day 2) Wow Jumin, you goddamn ice block. It's nice that you care about your cat though. Though, you know, you could lay off on Jaehee.

Why would you bring your cat when you know one of your friends is allergic? I'm p sure you would make concessions for a food allergy or pollen allergy. Why's an animal allergy any different?

How far removed from the general public are you to not know what a metal lunch tray is?

...We can't be friends if you don't enjoy scifi.

Jumin's kind of like an old person trying adapting to technology. :P It's kinda funny.

omf, the contract is the bare minimum of what needs to be abided by. NO.

You need a therapist. Or a psychologist. Or just... someone to teach you about emotions and how they affect decisions and how people can't turn emotions off. But no, has anyone actually diagnosed him yet? I mean, I already hc Seven with ADHD and anxiety and depression, Yoosung with depression, and basically everyone in the RFA (V included) with self-worth issues, so Jumin with Asperger's would make sense to me... And of course, given the East Asian stigma against mental illness, obviously no one's getting diagnosed or treated for said issues.

Does Jumin han is gay?

(Day 3) Nice, using your cat businesses to avoid your dad.

lololol your photos are actually kind of endearing, if blurry as all hell

also, you make it kind of easy to mess with you

(Day 5) You are a savage asshole and it's hilarious

no. no cat army.

i have a bad feeling about your potential good deed

(Day 6) Thank you for trying, Jumin. More shippers on deck, yesssss. Also, if this isn't proof that everyone in the RFA cares about Seven and wants him to be happy, idk what is

DICK MOVE JUMIN HAN. YOU DON'T GET YOUR FRIEND'S PARENTS ON THEIR ASS. IT'S SACRILEGE. A BETRAYAL TO FRIENDSHIPS EVERYWHERE.

legit, when the rest of the group starts to drag you, you know you fucked up

(Day 9) Jumin, that really wasn't very objective

(Day 10) It’s nice to see you care, Jumin.

I can't believe you might have actually brought Elizabeth 3rd! Now I know you care about us. :3

I feel bad that you feel betrayed. And that you're drowing your sorrows in alcohol

(Day 11) A+ Speech. I love it so much.

Zen

(Day 2) I can't tell if you're just using acting terms or if you're leaning on the fourth wall when you call MC the main lead.

Sorry Zen, but MC loves cats, though she doesn't own one yet.

You're too pretty to let the allergies screw with your face.

At least you have some self confidence if you can claim god made you overly handsome, and that the allergies are a way of making you not perfect.

...How DARE you claim Seven hacked MC's phone! That's so fucking rude. Also, Seven probably has better things to do with his time then hack someone's phone when they've already been hacked, just to fuck with you. like, priorities man.

As someone who is allergic to certain foods, I agree that research into allergies is important

Nice Tarzan yell.

Zen. Zen, Zen, Zenny, Zen. MC LITERALLY SAID THAT WAS SEVEN. although it's nice to know you find Seven attractive as well ^^

nice to know you find seven's personality attractive on a female. ^^

You are very pretty. I just wish you'd tone down the selfies sometimes.

...You're telling me you were a delinquent in high school? One who liked to sing and act?

i can't believe you answered your phone in the shower.

(Day 3) hypocrite. your meals don't sound any better than Yoosung's. why do I feel like MC is gonna be the Mom Friend to basically everyone here? Or at least the Responsible and Reasonable One?

I repeat, at least you love yourself Zen.

nagging Yoosung to exercise isn't going to make him want to work out more. Just avoid the conversation. which probably explains why Yoosung plays LOLOL so much. Everyone keeps nagging, and he plays to ignore/spite you all.

gimme back the cat meme!!!

quit flirting

you have no appreciation for Seven's storytelling skills

I love how we spent an entire chat talking about Seven and how his life will probably follow movie tropes

(Day 5) FUCKING RUDE. Seven is awesome! And he's allowed to make mistakes.

lolololol Zen's gonna be FUCKING DISAPPOINTED by Vanderwood. SO MUCH. it'll be hilarious

Nice to know that Yoosung and Zen are shippers on deck

(Day 6) Zen, you sound like an older sister. Or a cliche.

(Day 7) Zen, is that REALLY where your brain went first? You don't think Seven would be more concerned with, oh, i don't know, THE HACKER AFTER US than the fact that we're alone in the apartment THAT'S ALREADY BEEN BROKEN INTO!?

Thank you for being worried about me, but my feelings for Seven have nothing to do with this.

Also, I am NOT calm. But it wouldn't help anyone if I panic so...

(Day 8) omg the cutie pie song! That's so cute~!

(Day 9) Why the sudden interest in Seven's sex life? And hell yes, I think he's more attractive than the rest of you.

(Day 10) So... That was an interesting call (23:49). And, well... sorry Zen, but I'm not sorry for choosing Saeyoung. Ever.

Jaehee Kang

(Day 2) Wow Jaehee, tell us what you really feel about jumin's cat businesses. Not that we blame you though. You just want to keep your hob, and jumin's cat businesses sound like they don't help with that very much.

Trash your boss. Please.

Furballs are a product of grooming, jaehee. Elizabeth 3rd sounds like a handful though, so I understand why you don't like cats.

I agree with jaehee; though I want to meet the cat, I wouldn't want it to be at the expense of someone else.

I wanna be your friend jaehee~

Jaehee, it sounds like you don't have the time to make a lunch at home. or cook at all, if you go to convenience stores that often.

At least you're not doubting MC, but the situation. There's only so much before worry becomes paranoia.

Jaehee sounds like a glorified babysitter. She deserves so much props for putting up with these people. Especially Jumin, who both pays her and overworks her like crazy.

Who blames Jaehee for "NOPE"-ing out of the cahtroom? Not MC.

Your fangirling is hilarious. Especially when people call you out on it.

Yes, jaehee is clearly the one who deserves pity when Jumin has lunch with his dad, because she'll be swamped with work, as usual. I dearly hope she gets paid overtime.

(Day 3) I hope you someday find the time to be able to date! You deserve it!

(Day 4) yes, Jaehee, I know exactly what I'm saying.

The fact that you can scare Seven into compliance is actually kind of amusing.

Seven and I apologize, Jaehee. Seriously.

(day 9) You're so cute, I just want be your new BFF.

Thanks for saying I'm cute~!

(day 10) Jaehee... we’ll definitely come back safe. :)

thank you for praying for us

(Day 3) "I'm not especially attaced to Luciel or anything ^^" WOW. RUDE.

At least he knows Seven looks up to him.

(Day 4) V is just like my brother: only cares about religion because someone else does. Which, really, someone else should not dictate your belief system.

it's not so much that I trust you so much as i trust seven who trusts you

(Day 7) How the hell did you agree to a bomb! That could kill INNOCENT PEOPLE!? I mean, Seven only agreed because you and Rika did, and god knows about Rika, but I thought you were the KIND ONE!?

(Day 8) ANSWER SEVEN. PLEASE.

WHY ARE YOU BEING SO MYSTERIOUS AND UNTRUSTING.

...Now I want to open that drawer

(Day 9) V YOU FUCKER. THERE IS ALWAYS A BETTER WAY THAN ABANDONING FAMILY TO AN ABUSIVE SITUATION

(Day 10) OMFG V!!! THIS IS A TIME TO BE TRUTHFUL!!! NOT KEEPING MORE SECRETS. And you wonder why Saeyoung doesn't trust you?

Wait, so you blame yourself because you loved her? As in Rika? WHAT DOES SHE HAVE TO DO WITH THIS!?

WHAT KIND OF MONOLOGUE WAS THAT!? THAT WASN'T HELPFUL.

Rika (and her goddamn apartment)

(Day 2) ...What the HELL is in this apartment that's so important that you want to BLOW IT UP?

(Day 5) WHY. FUCKING... THAT VN OF THE BOMB BEING ACTIVATED AND DEACTIVATED. GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK.

(Day 8) WHY A BOMB. JUST... WHY?

OMF... You're one of those greater Good people! I HATE THOSE PEOPLE!

JUSTICE IS NOT CREATED THROUGH FEAR OMF...

Your brain is TWISTED woman.

(Day 9) WHAT IS YOUR DEAL WOMAN!?

(Day 10) WHAT IS YOUR DEAL!?

Unknown

(Day 2) You know, the fact that you seem to be speaking to the player in the VN does not get any creepier the second time around.

(Day 4) WHY. I AM FREAKED OUT ENOUGH.

(Day 6) YOU'RE ABOUT TO FUCK WITH THE BOMB, AREN'T YOU

(Day 7) I cannot believe unknown freaking plans to rappel himself through the window to break in

You are surprisingly nicee about keeping my from stepping on the glass

Saeran?

(Day 8) What happened to you, Saeran? You're so... meek and sweet in the VN.

Y’all are fucking adorable as kids.

(Day 10) SOMEONE LIED TO YOU AND YOUR BROTHER AND I'M GONNA KILL THEM.

The fact that you withstood the normal dosage b/c you believed in Saeyoung makes my heart hurt in a good way

Also, the irony inherent in the fact that you probably bleached your hair and changed your eye color in order to NOT be mistaken for Saeyoung, only for Vanderwood to mistake you for Saeyoung anyway...

Mint Eye

(Day 10) Medicine... mEDICINE!?!?!?!? HOW FUCKING DARE.... YOU DRUGGED HIM!!! YOU DRUGGED AN INNOCENT TEEN. WTF. WTFH!?

MOTHER FUCKERS. TRIPLING YOUR STANDARD DOSE!? DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW THAT WOULD AFFECT HIM!?!?!?

Vanderwood

(Day 5) so, my hc is that you don't give a fuck about gender and pronouns, and Seven took that last point and RAN with it until you hate him when he refers to you as his maid/with female pronouns

so I feel like despite the face that you threaten to taser Seven, and the fact that he's kind of a little shit to you, you actually kind of like him.

(Day 6) FUCK THAT, VANDERWOOD. Y'ALL DESERVE TO BE HAPPY.

...YOU'RE part of the reason why he's a dick to MC!!! And yet your advice is STILL better than Jumin's kill your emotions

LEAVE SEVEN ALONE.

(Day 8) WHAT ARE YOU PLANNING!?

(Day 10) MOTHERFUCKER!!! YOU TOOK THE WRONG TWIN!!!

I love basically all your choices before Day 7.

WHAT. HOW ARE YOU SO CALM.

WHY DO I HATE ALMOST ALL YOUR OPTIONS ONCE SEVEN COMES AROUND.

I WOULD HAVE HAD A MENTAL BREAKDOWN BY NOW.

WHY ARE YOU SO PASSIVE.

I realize you are trying to stay calm for the RFA, but PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF TOO.

GOOD. ASK SEVEN WHY HE'S DECIDING SHIT FOR YOU. YOU AREN'T STUPID OR NAIVE AND DON'T NEED TO BE WRAPPED IN BUBBLE WRAP

Finally, some choices I like again.

I’m actually kind of glad I saved Seven’s route for last. Definitely my favorite route. My only issue is, like Jumin, the amount of time between Seven’s issues coming to the forefront and the resolution of said issues, because seven year’s worth of being told he’s basically only worth what he can do for other people is not conveniently solved in like... 4 days.

#Tori Plays MysMe #707 route #Mystic Messenger #commentary

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flockofdoves · 3 years

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wait ok maybe a bad time to start this at 1:30am (<- started this post last night lmao) but i’ve been thinking so much (for a long time but this week i think maybe prompted by jonny saying stuff in the s5 q&a part 3 about fanon character designs getting more homogenous as the fandom gets bigger its really been on my mind again) about my thoughts on the magnus archives character design stuff

(this turned into such a fucking long post my god sorry lol. just writing this for my own purposes really but i feel ridiculous i spent like a good portion of the past day writing this out dkjfhgfd)

like i already said on that other post character design stuff is full of so much under the surface both really silly and almost nonsensical (like ‘oh this character just feels like they have a lot of triangles incorporated into their design’ or the slightly more connected to reality arbitrary ideas people have about what type of character might wear glasses) and stuff thats incredibly loaded and very much connected to real life systems of oppression. so its like. idk. i like drawing people and fashion and harmonizing shapes and the idea of coming up with people who dont exist through abstracted drawings that somehow click and that can feel cohesive even with different angles/expressions/poses/etc is really fun to me conceptually but Character Design(tm) as a thing even outside of established tropes and schools of it that really lean into elements that can uphold gross shit as shorthand just inevitably theres so much to consider in the implications of making a person (visually) and ascribing traits to them (or i guess in this case largely the opposite)

so thats not something id call fun its just important and inevitably a big factor if i’m going to put any of this to words and can only hope i do so non-clumsily when i wanna talk about this on the whole just bc i find the process of how fanon designs get homogenized interesting (and the purpose of it understandable and maybe a bit inevitable in certain contexts) but also regardless of any actual potential problematic implications in any of that just bc i like the creative process of coming up with character designs i like trying to see when it comes to practicing that through applying it to characters in non-visual media i care about how i can break my guides for what they could look like down to their bare essentials between canon description, things i vibe with personally, etc so that if i have all that written down for myself it can be a good starting place for just experimenting with designs (i dont have any desire to settle on any one design for these characters but its just good general practice for this stuff) and maybe pushing a bit against some things that seem to be generally defaulted to mix things up or w/e. so yeah i’ve just wanted to write all this out for myself for a while, so after that long fucking intro fdkgh here goes!

jon!!!

ok so canonically hes born about 1987 and is like roughly 28-31 throughout the series but looks older to the point where he straight up lies and says hes a decade older at one point, he has graying hair, has been described as looking like he hasnt slept in weeks

(this bullet point contains spoilers up to early s4) depending on what part of canon youre describing him in he canonically has scars from worms probably all over his body (post ep 39), a burn scar on his hand (probably right and probably roughly shaped like a handprint) (post ep 89), actually i’m checking on the wiki now and it specifically says melanie stabbed him in the shoulder? but rereading the transcript and another couple parts that i thought potentially could mention it i dont believe it ever actually specifies (maybe the person who wrote that is conflating how both melanie and daisy’s first injuries from the slaughter are on their shoulders? so even if not canon good guess i guess that his scar from thats on his shoulder) (post ep 125) plus also probably on his throat from daisy (post ep 91), somewhere from michael stabbing him (post ep 47), and who knows maybe even something from mike crew (probably not it was just the height part of things not a lightning strike but i saw fanart of him getting a lichtenberg figure scar once from that which was interesting) (post ep 91)

has been described as ‘scrawny’ and ‘little’ which may just be more of a insult but because of that i support manlet jon lol. also because of that tend to think of him as skinny and not very muscular but i’m def not opposed to him being fat i think its really fun when i do see interpretations of him as such esp in juxtaposition with martin its nice having stuff sometimes where its two fat characters in a relationship. but if i’m leaning on every little word to narrow down character design i’d say hes most likely thin and probably short too.

getting into stuff with no real canon basis, i am a fan of him having long hair like a lot of fanon has him with. its a very tangential justification because i know its more the specific events surrounding this this was describing but when he was described as a “grubby jesus” that helped lol

but! my jon hair opinion that seems to differ from fanon is that i think maybe itd make sense with him being described as looking older and stuff to give him a bit of a receding hairline

not sure about glasses either way i think it just comes down to the specific design whether it looks good or not. there is something conceptually funny to me about giving an avatar of the eye glasses and debating whether that “makes sense” or not lol. one time i saw someones design where he stopped needing to wear glasses later on and i thought that was kinda fun

i don’t really care for like. idk. glowing green eyed jon or multiple eyes or w/e. like i get it. idk probably somethings happening when hes doing like the ceaseless watcher thing or like that one scene where he forced a statement out of that person who described him as “all eyes” like the phrase but maybe not just that as a phrase. so that plus the cover art of the show being green and making people probably theme stuff on that color i guess i cant blame people for doing that but idk just like. it feels kinda just Blah and not that novel to see a lot of the time and a bit too tropey or w/e for my personal taste unless people mix it up a bit. so i tend to prefer him just looking like some guy even later on usually. also with just like brown eyes or w/e

okay so this next part is for both jon and martin because i cant fit this into either of their sections because i feel like i cant adequately talk about this without doing it in juxtaposition to one another

this post summarizes basically anything i’m reiterating here far better but basically by nature of this being a podcast written by a white person for whom most of the first characters voiced (who included most of the most frequently appearing characters outside of those described by others because they were reoccurring avatars or w/e long before voice appearances) were from a small pool of people at a majority white company and their family members, even if that wasnt “intentional” of course that pattern happens so much and more productions should be conscious of that from the get go and reach outside their immediate circles to cast more actors of color from the start of their productions if they have the resources to properly compensate them. so basically from there theres no real totally satisfying solution for portraying “aracial” characters acted and written by white people’s race, because the situation just isn’t ideal in the first place

so like, with that in mind, i know its a bit of a mixed bag with jon in fanon being pretty consistently either ambiguously a person of color or specifically south asian, because i know people of color who were excited from fanon going in for him to be a person of color only to realize hes written and voiced by a white guy and has no canon race (which might just somewhat default to him being written as white since theres no active thought to how him being a person of color, let alone any specific race or ethnicity, might affect anything), but then on the other hand, characters with no race given being defaulted to being portrayed as white is absolutely another common issue in fandoms of things like books and podcasts. so personally because of that i would feel weird portraying him as white in my own designs in contrast with how consistently hes depicted as a person of color, but i would be interested in potentially depicting him as other races beyond the default fanon of him being south asian too (although theres def stuff to consider there that doesnt prevent any interpretation but just is there regardless like his dynamic with daisy in like s4)

and then this post expresses things better than i could ever rehash, but because of the stuff outlined in there in my own attempts at character designs i try to avoid making martin white because of the juxtaposition between that and making jon a person of color in their dynamic. not as pertinent and not something i’ve taken in from any fan of color saying it so i’m definitely not dictating this just talking out my thought process, but by extension of this i’ve also tried to consider how colorism in juxtaposition between them might make it sit better to have martin have darker skin than jon. this does get a bit weird though when balancing how martin has a couple really goofy lines implying ignorance about police abusing their power (i guess charitable interpretations could be that hes plenty aware but nonetheless vocalizing shock in the moment of it actually happening in front of him), so even if as one of the few characters i’ve posted designs of before i drew him as black, when i remembered those lines i guess its just an issue of an “aracial” character being defaulted to being written as if hes white, so even if he certainly could still be black (or any race besides white who might not have the luxury of ignorance about police brutality) it just makes clear that by him being written the way he was nothings ideal because theres not necessarily much depth that can be taken from canon to make certain depictions of him as satisfying or well fleshed out as they could be. oh also so inconsequential to the rest of this and i dont care about this at all beyond just latching onto any scrap to base things off of but the fact that martin maybe knows at least some polish i feel like thats not a language most people just know from school (esp as someone who didnt go to college) or w/e so maybe his mom is polish so probably hes part white at least to wildly extrapolate from there? idrc tho its just one more thing to note on the subject depictions of jon and martins races

martin!

canonically the same age as jon (so approximately born 1987 and roughly 28-31 throughout the series)

theres at least like 4 things in canon that can be used to say hes canonically fat, and some of those lines also more just generally describe him as “big” or w/e so while i dont care about sticking to this as much its easy to argue hes tall too (esp that one point where he says a worm “jumped literally 6 feet through the air at my face” which i guess could be approximate or the worm like. arcing lol and also iirc jonny says he doesnt remember writing that line but regardless its another thing to latch onto to narrow down design stuff)

melanie!

canonically has a scar on her shoulder (as of late 2016), probably on her leg too (if not by early 2017 then by early 2018/ep 125), and is described as skinny

(spoilers for late s4) (also eye trauma mention) post ep 155 she’s blind but trying to research what exactly she might look like like would the results of the damage she does with the awl after going to the hospital would her eyes need to be eviscerated vs enucleated? idk. thinking about lydia saying in a s3 extra in retrospect talking about this where shes like ‘it wouldn’t work like that with [an awl]!’ bc . lol yeah idk. or like would she have scarring on her eyelids or anything, would she have glass eyes, would she feel a need to wear sunglasses to protect her eyes or as a visual cue that shes blind (bc idt shed be the type to just wear it to hide her eyes) or not, etc. i’m not sure! one thing i do know for sure though thats a pet peeve in art is that people make her cane have a red stripe on it when it the UK especially a red striped white cane is for deafblind people, so her cane is most likely just plain white (also theres different styles of white canes but from researching i think shed probably make use of a long cane imo)

my biggest non-canon appearance thought about her is just. melanie king butch 💗

i do think its fun when characters get drawn with unnaturally colored dyed hair for no real reason and do think people should have fun with that more but simultaneously the contrarian in me gets annoyed with how common blue grown out roots straight hair bob melanie is. like the fun of the novelty of being ‘fuck it dying this characters hair’ gets sucked out of it from it being so consistent in fanon. also while she def could be a long haired butch or w/e regardless i just wish fanon of her was way more masc for my own self indulgent reasons

basira

i think the only canonical appearance description is the implication that shes not thin by jared when describing her, melanie, and martin, distinguishing melanie as “the skinny one”

hussain specifically as a surname spelled that way while i’m def no expert, from people i know personally and looking online too seems to be most common specifically with pakistani, indian, and bangladeshi muslims so it makes the most sense to have her be depicted as south asian. considering her VA, her being part black could make sense too but also i feel like its kinda a Thing in a lot of media where they’ll barely have black characters but when they do they’ll make them cops so like idk that’d def require more thought to it.

definitely not on authority on this of course this is just me talking through my own thoughts but i feel like maybe the common fanon of her being a hijabi feels a bit just like . theres not much thought behind it for a lot of people doing it? like it feels like ‘she has a muslim name’ -> ‘she’s muslim’ -> ‘she wears a hijab’ and not much else. like theres just like a whole lot that would need to be unpacked with any main character being religious in this series and actually specifically iirc theres a part in season 5 or something where her and jon reflect on the implications of all this on human religion? and both seem a bit agnostic in their approach. and of course theres people who wear hijabs who arent particularly religious (just like obviously vice versa) but for adults in places that arent majority muslim i feel like a main motivator for that would be connection with ones wider community? but basically all of the main characters in this story like necessarily with the themes and how all this was able to happen to them they feel pretty atomized from any real community (she specifically is paralleled with martin in how she latches onto daisy) none of this is at all to say she couldn’t be practicing islam and/or a hijabi but just that if thats how people want to depict her i think it deserves more thought than just drawing her as such (like for one example of how people have done cool things with making characters muslim i appreciate this artists comics about muslim jon (1, 2, 3)) but yeah! idk just something i’ve been thinking about but very much is not something i can act like an authority on of course. because being a hijabi is something stigmatized i do nonetheless feel slightly weird if i were to go against that fanon but idk

part of me is like ‘we dont need more butch cops’ but then the other part of me just defaults to wanting to make every woman gnc lol. for w/e reason i tend to picture her dressing pretty practically in like khaki cargo pants and hiking boots and flannels and such

daisy

canonically theres here starburst shaped scar on the back of her shoulder

(spoilers for mid s4) i dont care to find it now but i feel like once she was described as scrawny or skinny or whatever (not sure how much focusing on muscle vs thinness if so) but if so that was after she came out of the coffin so i dont think that really implies she always looked like that and i think maybe even by contrast could be implying she was muscular before

def think it makes sense to make her white. generally i do see her similar to fanon depictions of her although i do kinda wish in juxtaposition people would make more women look butch besides her. i think when i first pictured her before seeing fanart or anything it was pretty similar in build and hair color and demeanor such as most of fanon but i pictured her with like . you know like the tight bun women in the military wear lol. so its more ambiguous if her flavor of powertripping “tough” white woman is gay or not. but idrc regardless i dont plan on making much art of her

tim

uhhh i think the only canonical description of him beyond his worm scars (post ep 39) is that basira called him hot in comparison to jon and martin lol

ever since i started listening i keep defaulting to picturing him vaguely like tim from marble hornets lol. so like idk i think its fun when he has defined eyebrows and sideburns and stuff. but not even that i’m really Set on i think theres a lot of fun potential designs for him

sasha

canonically has long hair, is tall, and has glasses

(spoilers for either end of s1 or end of s2 depending on if you’ve figured out something. if you know you know lol) like obviously theres weird stuff in juxtaposition if you make not!sasha a different race than her. i think probably regardless theyre the same race considering melanie didnt note that when describing what sasha looked like. idrc about figuring out what not!sasha looks like ig if i ever make art of her i’ll just figure it out

i think this was the first art i ever saw of her like right around the week or so i started listening to the show that was posted and a mutual reblogged it so i think from basically the start thats how i pictured her essentially. but the main parts of ‘long dark hair, glasses’ i internalized from that are so close to just canon so maybe not saying much

georgie

uhhhh i dont think theres any canon description of her? and i dont have very many opinions on what she does look like honestly except that i think she looks very bisexual lol. i like the idea of her presenting pretty gnc but still maybe having some fun with feminine aesthetics too, but honestly making her present totally masc is really cool too

oh also wrt body type stuff. part of me is a bit tired of how sometimes it feels like fat characters only get to be in romantic relationships if its with skinny characters and rarely are there character designs of two fat people together and melanie is canonically skinny (which doesnt really matter i Could ignore it but i like latching onto descriptions just to narrow things down) and jons maybe implied to be which makes jon/martin like that too. but on the other hand idec i care more about just having fat wlw characters so if melanie in all i project on her cant be that then georgie will be

oliver!

only canonical description of him i believe is “tall, black and careworn, deep lines of worry etched into an otherwise handsome face”

uhh beyond that idk.. not really set on this at all but i feel like maybe he dresses like. business goth lol. like idk. well put together casual clothes like nice quality short sleeve button ups and chinos or nice cuffed jeans but maybe darker colors and a bit of a vaguely edgy but not tacky flair (like fucking idk. raven pattern button up or something lol)

i saw some art of him once where he had long locs and also just idk he was like doing that ominous floaty thing which included his hair and that had a nice rhythm in the art together with the black tendrils in the background so i could appreciate him having long locs/braids/twists or something. but def not set on that and ofc theres like a lot of years to depict him between he could have various hair styles

this is hard to really judge but ive seen posts where people are like ‘haha i draw oliver just like i drew kravitz in the adventure zone’ which is like vaguely annoying to me idk lol. but of course i cant Really know if thats what people are doing from depiction alone bc theres no set appearance for kravitz himself but sometimes i get the Vibes thats whats someones doing and its just like. whatever idk. branch out and design another character!!

there are literally soooooo many more characters i really thought i could make a short-ish thing for each character beyond a few necessary addendums but god even on inconsequential shit this post is already SO fucking long lol so i’m giving up for now i’ve done most of the main people plus my favorite side character so its fine i can get back to this later if i really want to

#cpost #tma blogging #i try to note spoilers on individual bullet points throughout this so it should be fine to read if you avoid those bullet points i think #even if youre not finished with the podcast

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