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#i tested neg on friday for strep
careol · 1 month
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i've not forgotten the rest of the starters, i just feel like shit and it feels like my throat got thanos crushed.
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trees-to-meet-you · 2 years
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An ENTIRE FCUKING WEEK AND THEY FINALLY FIGURED OUT WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
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theworldoffostering · 7 months
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E is down with strep.
NB had strep about ten days ago.
Baby had croup the week before NB had strep.
DH is still getting over pneumonia.
Baby was home from school today for what I assume to be strep, but he tested negatively at urgent care. They told us the test is 98% accurate, but if he’s still feeling badly on Friday to bring him back in.
When Baby had croup E was also barfing from something she ate (or maybe a 15 hour virus).
It has been a rough month or so with illness here.
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gccdstories · 2 days
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// yesterday was horrible. Started when I woke up with a headache. No (big) deal, I get them all the time. So I took my medicine and went to work.
Boy was THAT a mistake! Barely made it to lunch as it was, and I knew I had to be back to finish out the last three hours because it was just me and all. (At that point, I'm still just thinking it's a bad headache that isn't going away.)
Go home with an (extended) lunch to take a nap and immediately fall asleep. When I wake up, the head is a little better, and I think "okay, I can do three more hours."
Wrong, AGAIN!
I do make it to work, I do manage to finish the shift, but by that time, I'm exhausted, my head is still killing me, my throat is on fire and I can barely talk and every single part of my body just hurts. In that "I got hit by ten trucks" feeling.
Needless to say, I came home and immediately went to sleep. Slept all night, and well into this morning (b/c work had said I could come in late to get a bit more sleep, etc.) However I wake up feeling even worse (I wasn't sure how that was possible, but apparently it was) so I made a doctor's appointment.
They tested the usual -- flu, covid, strep throat, etc.-- all of which were negative. So... good? I guess.
I've been doing so much sleeping lately, and I did manage to eat a bit earlier which helped my head settle down.
And getting all the kitty love as neither Xaden or Sasha have left my side for the whole thing.
(It's also a good thing that I was off tomorrow anyway, so I have until Friday to get "all better" before dealing with work again.)
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ckmstudies · 2 years
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Day 23/100
Tl;dr: I have strep, I have exams Wednesday, Thursday, and next Monday and my birthday is coming up this week. Very busy week coming up!
Today started with me going to the doctor's office. The good news is that I tested negative for Covid twice and I tested negative for strep throat. However, I know that I have been exposed to strep and the doc said since my throat “looks like that” he went on ahead and started me on strep antibiotics which included two shots as well as meds to take every 12 hours. But if this is what gets me better by Thursday then I’ll take it!
After the doctor's office, I got lunch with friends (outside) and went to Latin. We have an exam on Wednesday and so we reviewed a good bit today. I got a 95 on my quiz from Friday which is great except that the only reason I did so well is that she’s not grading very hard. This is nice because this class is supposed to be an easy A but it does not inspire me to study at all. After Latin, I went straight to developmental psychology which is my favorite class. It's just so interesting and it’s a very joyful class since we’re currently talking about babies.
After classes, I took a quick nap, started washing clothes, ate spaghetti, watched an episode of Modern Family, and did the dishes I had in the sink. Once I was satisfied with all my chores, I started working on my assignments for social psychology. We have an exam in that class on Thursday and I missed turning in an assignment this weekend. Thankfully I emailed my professor and he let me turn it in for half credit. Then I did a multiple choice quiz which took me 4 out of 5 chances to make a 100 but I did finally get the 100. After that, I put all the terms from the book into an Anki deck and went through 1/3 of the terms. Based on my calculations I need to make an 87 or higher on this exam to get an A in this class which at this point sounds very difficult. My plan tomorrow is to sit in the library for hours reading my textbook. But sometimes you’ve got to do what you’ve got to do! I’ll also have Latin tutoring in the library tomorrow night at 7:30 in order to prepare for that exam on Wednesday. Not to mention I’ll have a developmental psych exam a week from today, I have strep, and I’m currently planning my 22nd birthday dinner and party for this Thursday and Friday. It never ends but I wouldn’t want it any other way!!
Also! I hope you enjoy this picture I took this afternoon of my and my roommates’ common room while I was getting chores done. I thought the lighting was gorgeous!
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pugsandbaby · 2 months
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this week has been hell
on monday camille said her mouth hurt and she tested positive for step
on tuesday we had a field trip where one of my students was so bad she isnt allowrd on any more field trips unless her mom comes. she tried to jump jnto the pond, threw rocks at statues, threw rocks at people, would not leave the playground, stopped in the middle of the road and refused to leave. just all around stressful
on wednesday simon wasnt feeling well. took him to the doctor, tested negative for strep
on thursday we had this literacy night thing at my school so i was there from 7:30 AM to 7:30PM for no extra pay either
friday simon is running a 103 fever so i take him to urgent care and he has a double ear infection
saturday was the last day my brother was in town before he moves back to colorado
also all the walgreens have been closing at 6 and not open on the weekend which has made getting their meds so much harder
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shredsandpatches · 5 months
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I should be getting some nice restful sleep but I forgot to take my Benadryl and so instead I'm lying awake worrying that covid is going to destroy my ability to sing forever or at least ruin this (really amazing) season. It's been slightly over a week since I started having symptoms (I tested negative on Friday morning but was feeling really terrible by afternoon so I'm sure I had it then as well as strep), and they've been mostly mild after one really shitty day. I'm sure working myself up about my future lung stamina isn't very helpful either.
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softsnzstuff · 2 years
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A similar prompt like Eddie giving himself a strep test but a sick Steve giving himself a flu one? The nose swab gives him a huge sneezing fit that reveals where he is/what he’s doing. Robin is the one to tell Eddie, “Dingus came to work sick and is in the bathroom sneezing his head off right now. May want to go check on him, Doctor Rockstar”.
Steve had felt off all day. Truth be told, he should have called out, but it was a Friday and he figured he could soldier through. After all, it was just a sore throat and a stuffy nose.
By lunch, he was regretting his decision. His head hurt, chills wracked his body, and he just wanted to go home. He was starting to question if he’d picked up the flu somewhere - just his luck.
“Hey Rob, I’ll be right back.” He told her. She nodded from her desk; it was a slow day anyways and there wasn’t another patient coming in yet for Steve to prep.
Eddie was in Exam room 1 with an elderly patient when Steve snagged a rapid flu test and headed to the bathroom.
He peeled open the testing swab and tiled his head back a little, already feeling the tickle before the swab touched his nose.
“Hehhh! H’igKtch’EW! HessshEW!”
He had pulled the stick away from his face and sneezed down into his wrist, sniffling thickly before inserting the swab into his nose.
It was uncomfortable to say the least. In addition to the feeling of a foreign object being shoved into his nasal cavity, the cotton swab made every part of his sinuses tingle, his nose twitching as he swirled the swab around.
“IK’tchiEW! H’rrzzCHEW! IssshEW!!”
Robin knocked on the door, “You okay in there Dingus?”
“I’b - HAESH’IEW!”
“I hope you’re decent because I’m coming in.” She waited a beat and then opened the door cautiously.
Steve looked absolutely pathetic. Swab still in hand, he was ducked into the crook of his elbow, eyes watering.
Robin took in the sight in front of her. “Aww Steve, you should have just called out.”
“I k’dow… n’dext time I’ll H’etsch’IEW! IsshEW!!”
“That’s it, I’m calling in reinforcements.” She shut the door and wandered to Eddie’s office, knocking on the open door. He looked up from the computer, smiling.
“Hey Birdie, what’s up?”
“Dingus came to work sick and he’s sneezing his head off in the bathroom right now.”
Eddie felt his heart flutter with concern.
“He’s flu testing himself. Might wanna check on him, Dr.Rockstar.”
Eddie sighed and rubbed at his temple, “Oh geez, okay.”
He got up from the desk and followed Robin to the bathroom where he knocked on the door.
“It’s Eddie, can I come in?”
“H’ikt’schIEW!”
He glanced at Robin who was shaking her head, clearly familiar with her friend’s behavior.
The door slowly opened, revealing the disheveled brunette. The flu test was almost done pending on the counter, steve had tissues pressed to his streaming nose, and his eyes were wet.
“Aw Stevie…” Eddie walked into the bathroom and shut the door gently behind him.
“The snF flu test made mbe s’deeze snrFF but then I could’t stop…”
Eddie peeked over at the cassette on the counter and frowned. “I got bad news for you…”
“It’s positive?” Steve asked.
“No. It’s negative. Probably just a really bad cold. You’ll have to stick it out.”
Now it was Steve’s turn to sigh, which he regretted since it triggered a cough. Eddie placed a comforting hand on his back and brushed some of the hair out of Steve’s face.
“Rest and lots of fluids okay? Doctors orders.”
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keeperofthelight · 1 year
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OOC: I've got some things in the queue. The muse isn't very cooperative and I have some sort of mystery illness. I got tested for strep on Friday because I have a sore throat that won't go away. That test came back negative. I don't have a cold, no covid, nothing. I don't see my regular doctor until next month.
I'm doing what I can and trying to get to things for you guys.
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klirk-hammurton · 2 years
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Update:
So since last week I've been having stomach problems. Finally went to the doctor and turns out I have some sort of infection in my stomach. Covid test was negative, strep test was negative.
Gonna be out of work until Friday. Doctor gave me antibiotics and some medicine to ward off any possible covid cells because I was exposed to a family member that tested positive after we visited.
Gonna try to use this free time to recover and work on requests.
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sneezyminniejo · 2 years
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can i request like a sick and sneezy sunghoon fic? maybe the boys have plans to take him ice skating again because he talked about missing it, but he happens to be sick on the day of? i also feel like he would try to hide it because he wants to go ice skating, but some of the boys(maybe heeseung and jake) would be suspicious and watch him super closely while they go. maybe they could take him home early because he starts to get super run down. that's all i got!! i really hope this wasn't too much. <33
Here it is Hope you enjoy
Skating Fatigue
Sunghoon had been acting off the past couple and it was slightly concerning to his members. When Jungwon had asked him about it, he replied with something about pent up energy that his usual schedules weren’t helping with. The leader had had a meeting with the rest of the group minus Sunghoon, and they decided to bring him to an ice rink because the last time the skater had been skating was their en’oclock episode. None of them had missed how happy he had looked to be on the ice, so they figured that maybe his pent up energy might just be him itching to get on the ice again.
The planning hadn’t been too hard. The group had a day off in a couple of days and Jungwon knew for a fact that everyone was planning to just laze around the dorm, so he got management to do their best to rent out a rink for their day off, knowing that having a rink all to themselves might not be possible, but it would be more ideal. As soon as management had gotten back to the leader on which ice rink the group could go to, he texted the group chat that he arranged plans for their day off.  He left the details kind of vague because he wanted to try to surprise his hyung with the skating trip. Jungwon had made a separate group chat that didn’t have Sunghoon in it so they could more properly prepare the surprise trip.
Sunghoon sighed as he woke up on their day off. He had been coming down with something the entire week, and he swears it is the slowest moving bug he has ever dealt with. On Monday he had a headache. On Tuesday and Wednesday he had a sore throat. It was bad enough that he had secretly gone to the clinic to get a strep test, which was negative. The doctor said he was probably just overusing his voice or coming down with a cold. On Thursday, Sunghoon was finally able to feel that his sore throat was being caused by postnasal drip and was equal parts relieved that he was sick and disappointed that he would be sick on the group’s day off.
Now it was Friday and Sunghoon had had a difficult time sleeping as the congestion had finally set in, making it hard to find a good position to be in and still breathe. It seemed that he had finally drifted off to sleep when Jungwon began waking the room up so they could all get ready for whatever secret activity he had planned. While he was in the bathroom, Sunghoon did his best to blow his nose and clear out his sinuses. Then He joined the others for breakfast. Thankfully, his cold didn’t appear to affect his appetite too much, because he was able to eat the amount he normally does. Sunghoon had thought about telling his members that he’s sick and that he wanted to stay at the dorm to rest, but everyone seemed so excited about the surprise outing that he didn’t want to be a party pooper.
When it came time to get ready to go, Jungwon told everyone to grab a jacket because it would be chilly where they’re going. While Sunghoon was getting his jacket, Heeseung had come into the maknae’s room to grab Sunghoon’s ice skating duffel. Sunghoon had passed Heeseung carrying his duffle, but his mind was too tired and foggy to realize that it was his skate duffle let alone make the connection between the duffel and being told to grab a jacket. He joined the others in the van and wound up falling asleep with his head on the window almost immediately after sitting down.
Heeseung was a little concerned. He had literally walked past Sunghoon carrying ice skates, and the younger didn’t even give him a second glance. He had been certain that Sunghoon would question him since he has no business being in possession of one of his prized items. Add that to the fact that he fell asleep right after sitting down, Heeseung was pretty sure that Sunghoon was either sick, getting sick, or just had a rough night.
Sunghoon had picked the window seat in the back of the van. Jake in the middle and Heeseung on Jake's other side. It hadn’t taken long before Jake began to hear soft snores coming from the younger member. The Aussie glanced up and saw that no one aside from Heeseung seemed to notice that Sunghoon had become dead to the world in a matter of seconds.
“Hey, hyung. Does Sunghoon seem a little off to you?” Jake whispered to Heeseung, not wanting to risk waking the sleeping member, even though the other four members were being pretty loud. Heeseung nodded his head. “Yeah, I walked right past him carrying his skates and there was no reaction.” Heeseung quickly turned to face the chair in front of him.
“Wonnie, do you know how everyone slept last night in your room?” Jungwon turned to the elder, noticing Sunghoon’s sleeping figure in the process. “I think for the most part everyone slept fine, but there was a bit of tossing and turning from Sunghoon’s bunk.” Heeseung nodded at that and let Jungwon go back to his conversation with the others.
Heeseung turned back to Jake “Let’s keep an eye on him. I’m hoping he’s just tired from not sleeping well, but he also seemed a bit too out of it for a sleepless night.” Jake agreed then the duo went to scrolling on their phones until they reached the ice rink.
Upon arriving at the ice rink, Jake made it his job to wake the younger member. Heeseung had gotten out to grab Sunghoon’s skates, while the rest of the group went to get their rentals. Jake shook Sunghoon’s shoulder and was met with the younger’s eyes fluttering open.
“Good morning Hoonie. We’re here, time to get up.” Sunghoon groaned a little as he stretched out his arms. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes before following Jake out of the van. Seeing as he had just woken up, it didn’t fully register to the figure skater that they were at the rink until he felt the much cooler air on his body.
Sunghoon’s eyes widened a bit when he saw the rink, a smile spreading across his face before turning into a frown. “What’s wrong hyung?” Sunoo asked upon noticing the elder’s down demeanor.
“I don’t have my skates.” At that the other members chuckled before Sunoo gestured to Heeseung who was carrying Sunghoon’s skates. Sunghoon’s smile returned immediately as he went over to the oldest member so he could put on his skates. Meanwhile, Heeseung's thought about Sunghoon not having realized him taking his skates was back at the forefront of his mind.
Sunghoon was elated that his members had planned a trip to the ice rink. He still felt rather terrible and he still kind of wished he could be in bed sleeping. However the thought his members put into the surprise because he had been acting off made him thoroughly happy. There was no way he was going to admit to being sick now, even if someone were to ask him. He put on his skates as quickly as he could before getting on the ice.
Everyone was thoroughly enjoying the ice rink. Some were falling more than others, but all seven members were having fun. However, Jake noticed Sunghoon either leaning against the wall or leaving the rink to sit down far more frequently than he normally does when they spend the entire day doing dance practice. During one of the breaks, Jake skated over to Sunghoon to check in.
“Hey Sung, how’re you doing?” Sunghoon seemed to startle slightly when Jake spoke. “I’m great hyung, I’m really glad to be on the ice again. There’s just something so carefree about it ya know?” Jake didn’t miss the stifled yawn that Sunghoon attempted while he was talking, nor did he miss the slight congestion lacing the younger’s voice. Jake spent the next couple of minutes chatting with Sunghoon, becoming increasingly aware that he was clearly exhausted. There was a brief moment where Sunghoon had unintentionally fallen asleep while Jake was talking. Sunghoon’s head had fallen onto Jake’s shoulder. Jake smiled softly and ran his hand through the younger’s hair, frowning a little at the warmth he felt.
Jake shook Sunghoon awake. “You sure you’re feeling okay? You just fell asleep on my shoulder.” Sunghoon shook his head in negation. “I’m fine. I just need another couple of minutes.” Jake nodded before going back into the rink.
Jake skated over to Heeseung as quickly as he could without falling. “Hyung, Sunghoon has a fever and fell asleep on my shoulder. He says he’s fine, but he’s clearly not. I think we should bring him home so he can rest.” Heeseung nodded his head in response. The duo spent a minute brainstorming how to convince Sunghoon to agree to go home, since he clearly didn’t want to ruin their day off.
Ultimately they knew that since the skating trip was more to lift Sunghoon’s spirits than anything else, they wouldn’t mind if they all went home. They decided on just telling everyone what was going on and go from there. The duo rounded everyone up where Sunghoon was still sitting.
“Guys, I know we’ve only been here for a couple of hours, but it’s time to go.” Heeseung said, earning confused looks from everyone but Jake. “Sunghoon is sick.” Jake said before looking over to Sunghoon. “Don’t try to deny it, I felt your fever when you fell asleep on me.” Sunghoon looked a bit sheepish at that. “I didn’t know I had a fever, but hyung’s right, I've been sick for a couple of days. It wasn’t anything too noticeable until this morning though.” The other four members were quick to agree to head back to the dorm, so they packed up their things.
The group arrived at the dorm and quickly got settled. Jay went to the kitchen to make lunch for everyone and Riki pulled out Cards Against Humanity after making sure that everyone would be okay playing it. Sunoo and Jungwon helped Jay bring the food out for everyone. They all quickly ate lunch before moving on to the card game.
Sunghoon was falling asleep before all the cards could be dealt out. He didn’t feel like retiring to his room to sleep, so he took over the couch. That way he could watch the chaos or fall asleep, whichever his body prefers. The group did their best to play the game as quietly as possible, but it can be difficult for six men to stifle laughter.
For a bit, the group had forgotten that Jake had said that Sunghoon had a fever until Riki accidentally brushed his hand against his forehead. “Hyungs, we should probably check his temp. He doesn’t feel too hot, but should make sure.” Jungwon got up to grab the thermometer. He came back and scanned his hyung’s forehead. It came back as a mild fever, and everyone was glad to hear it.
Sunghoon spent the next half hour dozing on and off as he listened to his members playing. He eventually sat up and decided to join in on the game. As the game wore on, it became more and more apparent that Sunghoon’s main issue aside from fatigue and a fever, was congestion. Jay got up and grabbed Sunghoon a box of tissues. 
“Thanks guys, for today. I really did enjoy going to the ice rink again, even though I didn’t really have the energy for it.” Sunghoon said after he blew his nose.
“It was no problem, hyung. You were acting a little off, and we thought getting to skate might make you feel better. Had we known that you were getting sick, we would have planned this outing for later.” Jungwon said. The group went back to playing their game after the short conversation.
The group only had the one day off, but Jungwon did make sure to tell their manager about Sunghoon’s fever so that he could have a couple more days off to rest. The group also had staggered solo schedules for the next few days, so it was easy to make sure that at least one member was able to keep Sunghoon company.
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nessiesbarnes · 2 years
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ooc:
I've avoided covid for 2 and a half years, just for me to get my butt kicked by strep. I've been out of work since Friday cause I thought it was Covid but every test said Negative, went to the doctor yesterday to find out I have strep, something I haven't had since getting my tonsils out and this fever will not go away.
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sleephearts · 2 years
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u might want to get tested for covid
i actaully did get tested on friday !! went 2 da urgent care place near my apt that offers free tests n then got a checkup @ da campus health center where they swabbed me again -- n all of em came back negative (got strep + flu done as well !) v grateful 4 ur concern anon i hope u r in much better health than i am ^w^
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varietysky · 2 years
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throat feeling a bit funny ouuuu if I get sick now I'm gonna be Pissed
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So Friday night I ended up in the ER because I had 105 fever and it wasn't going down. Saturday we ended up back in the ER because the toddler ended up with a 102 fever and the Tylenol wasn't working. We tested negative for covid, flu, and strep and were just told we have a viral infection and to let it run its course. I'm miserable but feeling better but it sucks because my little dude is sick and he can't tell me how bad he feels. Right now he's good. He's eating cheese pizza, drinking juice, and watching Cars.
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captainsimagines · 3 years
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traitor
Summary: It was only one night, no strings attached, just two friends working through their grief together. Steve went to live his life with Peggy and within two weeks of returning, he peacefully passed. Unimaginable things happen everyday, jokes have negative consequences, and protection doesn’t always protect from the possibility… the possibility of carrying a child. He would have stayed if he knew, everyone agrees with this, so why is the world calling Steve Rogers a traitor?
One-Shot (with a happy ending)
Pairing(s): Avengers x Fem Reader; brief Steve Rogers x Fem Reader
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Warnings: Unexpected pregnancy; serious talks about abortion; brief mention of suicide (if you squint); mentions of Endgame deaths; strong language; minor descriptions of actual birth; ANGST but with a happy ending! This is purely fanfiction. 
Word Count: 6,600+
A/N: So, Olivia Rodrigo’s album just came out and dude, jfc every song is magical. like... wtf. This is essentially a ‘song fanfic’, but ehhhh not quite. The lyrics don’t match the fanfic lmao but the melody does??? idk this is a shit ton of angst, be warned. It was from a request I got a while back, so this is kind of a request fanfic. 
~
Up until the moment Steve pressed his soft lips to yours, you were certain you had never experienced such a wonderful sensation of magic. You had been witness to actual magic, to beings from other worlds, and yet Steve’s gentle touch was enough to erase any other image, to completely overpower your senses, a kind of magic that dug deep into the trenches of your heart and settled in its new home. 
No, you and Steve were not a couple. There were some flirty remarks over the years, some fantasies that lay dormant, but there was never the craving to actually act upon them. But when half the world disappeared and the remaining Avengers came up with a plan five years later, the loss of a teammate prompted the sudden push of two touch-starved individuals. The rest of the team had gone to sulk in their own corners of the compound, some hard at work at constructing the final piece to the puzzle, and you and Steve ventured off to the kitchen. Two cups of tea each, silent but heavy tears mixing in with the sugar and milk. 
You were the first to break, shoulders crumbling and knees rocking under your weight. You fell to the floor, sobs and hiccups forming into a full-blown attack, your hands scratching at your neck. Steve fell beside you, pulling you into his chest and rocking you back and forth. He cried too, the final words of his best friend ringing in his ears like a dreaded song on repeat. See you in a minute. See you in a minute. See you in a minute. 
Time was irrelevant, you had enough of counting time, estimating it, time-traveling through it. If you could sit there all night, all week, another five years huddled close to Steve Rogers, then so be it. 
‘I can’t believe she’s gone,’ you had sobbed. 
‘I can’t believe it either. I can’t,’ he had cried back. 
You had simply lifted your head and turned his face toward yours, searching his eyes for any hesitation before you had leaned in first. He had returned the intimate gesture almost immediately, gripping you tightly. Tears dripped in between your moving lips, sobs caught inside breathy moans, grips becoming tighter and tighter as each of you shared your first time together. No other partner up until that point had ever pulled such a pained but grateful cry from your throat, no other human being had ever made you feel so safe and peaceful. 
The final battle was over, you had lost yet another teammate, but the world had a chance to start over. And Steve had pulled you aside a few days before he returned the stones, letting you know that he wasn’t coming back the same man. He had been so scared of telling you, of possibly betraying you, but when your palms cupped his cheeks and you gave him a kiss on the lips with a soft whisper of ‘Be with her. Cherish her. Be happy. We’ll meet again’, his worries instantly shattered. He could only rapidly nod his head, grabbing your hands that were soaked in his tears, and kissing them until he said his final goodbyes. 
And he returned such a different man, but with a smile you had never quite seen before. Yes, he was older and you only had a few seconds to actually process that, but he was happy. He had been happy. He finally lived the life he deserved. 
Sitting in that pew two weeks later, both sad and happy tears streaming down your face, you felt at peace for the first time in a long time. You simply gripped Wanda’s hand as they carried the casket down the aisle, a sad melody drowning the church. 
`
The first round of sickness hit you the day of the funeral, but you obviously didn’t think much of it. It was the fits of sadness and grief, the hot coil in the middle of your stomach, you thought. It had to be. It wasn’t until your breakfast was regurgitated into your toilet only a few minutes after enjoying it that you were suddenly worried. 
You sneaked to some liquor store a subway ride away, careful of not leaving a trail. This was embarrassing, it was insane, it couldn’t possibly be real. You gave the cashier your money and ran to the stall provided, peeing on the stick the best you could before placing it on the dirty sink in the corner. You patted your hands on your thighs repeatedly, careful to not touch any other thing in a goddamn liquor store bathroom. 
‘Friday?’ your voice was so defeated, tears already stinging your eyes.
Your little bluetooth sprang to life, ‘Yes, Y/N?’
Your bottom lip was trembling wildly, hands now shaking. ‘Can you stay active with me while I read the results? I can’t… I can’t be alone right now.’
‘Yes, Y/N. Anything you need, I’m here.’ You sobbed openly, thanking her under your breath. ‘Are you sure you don’t want me to contact anybody else?’
‘I can’t face them. I can’t face them if it’s positive, Friday.’
‘Okay, it’s alright,’ her voice was so delicate, so quiet and reassuring. ‘Just keep talking to me, Y/N. I think the results should be ready now.’
You inched closer to the test. ‘I’m scared, Friday.’
‘I know,’ Friday sighed, ‘But you will get through this. No matter the result.’
Grabbing the small device from the sink, you swallowed so much saliva that it actually hurt. The plus sign was so clear, so evident in its visibility, and your ears only registered the loud cries escaping your painful lungs because Friday was practically yelling in your ear. 
‘Please, calm down Y/N! Your heart rate is too fast-” she was stuttering, an AI was stuttering. ‘I’m calling for help. You need someone to be here with you. I’m sorry.’
It took ten minutes. Ten minutes of banging outside the bathroom door from the cashier, ten minutes of blurry vision and a strep throat. Sam broke through the door as quickly as he could, eyes flying around the small bathroom until he saw you huddled in the corner, a pregnancy test clutched in your small hand. He crouched down beside you, hands extended but not exactly touching you, and eyes trying to lock with yours. 
‘Y/N, Y/N?’
Just the sound of his voice, the voice of someone who didn’t need this added pain in their lives, it was just too much. Another weight added to your shoulders. 
‘I don’t know why,’ you choked out, ‘I’m so sorry.’
Sam’s face contorted into a pained expression, eyes brimmed with salty tears. ‘What are you talking about? No one is blaming you for anything. You’re safe, I’m here.’
You shook your head violently, ‘I didn’t mean to.’
But as quickly as those words left your mouth, the pounding in your head had become too unbearable. You collapsed into Sam’s arms. 
`
You woke to a single doctor who was monitoring your vitals. She was just sitting beside your bed, clicking random buttons on the screen in front of her. You whimpered slightly, the bright lights temporarily blinding you. The doctor quickly stopped what she was doing and removed the tube from your nose, allowing you to breathe on your own. You ignored the weird scratch that caused, and asked her the question you needed to have answered by a true medical professional - not a liquor store device. 
She confirmed what you already knew. There were no ‘congratulations’ or even ‘I’m sorry’s’, just the fact that you were pregnant and it was very early on. There were still options for you, it was healthy so far, you were healthy so far- 
Wait, options? 
The team were all huddled outside, nerves all over the place. They didn’t know what was going on. Sam knew but it wasn’t his information to pass on. It wasn’t until Bucky’s angry demeanor actually turned violent, a hole forming through the hospital wall. You were all on a private floor, completely displaced from the reality down on other levels, so any freak-outs were only slightly justified. Slightly. 
‘Sam, you gotta tell us. I made a promise to Steve, Sam! I promised to take care of her!’
Bucky’s words gripped Sam’s heart in a metaphorical vice. ‘She’s gotta tell you guys, man. It’s not my place.’
You had curled in on yourself, the doctor’s words echoing louder and louder. 
‘Abortion is an option. At this rate, it would be quick and safe. I can promise you that. It’s your choice.’
You wanted to die. You wanted the world to swallow you up and bury you alive. You wanted to disappear. If you had died in the snap, this wouldn’t have happened. It wouldn’t have happened. 
The ride back to the compound was a quiet one, with Sam driving you and the radio on low volume. 
‘Are you going to tell them?’
You bit your lip, ‘The doctor said I had options.’
Sam’s breath hitched and he tried to mask it, but you had heard it. You felt guilty, disgusting, like you betrayed Steve and the rest of the team. They had just lost him, you had just lost him, and you were carrying his child. And if Steve would have known, he would have wanted it. He would have encouraged you to have it, he would have been so happy, he would have been such a great fa-
‘The choice is yours, Y/N.’ He glanced over at you, ‘Can you at least tell me who the father is?’
The wrecked sobs were like second nature now, choking you with their strength. ‘I’m so sorry!’
Sam pulled to the side of the road and quickly took off his seatbelt, sliding over in the connected front seats to pull you into his chest. ‘Shh, hey. We are not going to be mad at you. Everything’s going to be okay. It may not seem like it now but-’
‘Sam!’ you cried, clutching his shirt in a tight fist. ‘I swear it was an accident! Steve didn’t know! He didn’t know, I swear he didn’t know!’
Sam’s mouth dropped open, an almost embarrassing noise of surprise sounding from the depths of his soul. He ran his hands through your hair, eyes rapidly searching for a single viewpoint. But he couldn’t focus on any one thing, not when you were shuddering against him and apologizing nonstop. 
Steve didn’t know. 
`
The team had reacted in a similar manner. They so desperately wanted to wish you a congratulations, it was the norm for this kind of thing. Especially with such a rough few years - bringing life into this world could be considered an ultimate blessing. But this was Steve’s child, his baby, his only baby in this timeline. It was a part of him, something he had unknowingly left behind. 
The team took a few days. The pain of losing Natasha, of losing Steve, of losing Tony. The gift of life. It was just too much. 
And you found yourself in front of Wanda’s bedroom door, hands clutching your night robe closed and knees wobbly. She brought you tea, she laid underneath the covers with you, she spooned you until you stopped crying. 
‘We weren’t together.’
‘You weren’t?’
You sat up, muscles straining due to your thousandth crying session that week. ‘No, it was one time. It was a mutual thing. We just… felt safe. And we made love.’
Wanda shut her eyes briefly, only to open them for two parallel tears to slip. ‘That sounds beautiful.’
‘We used protection. It really was an accident.’
Wanda interrupted, ‘No, don’t try and justify yourself. It happened. It’s done.’
You whimpered, reaching out to grab her hands. ‘I feel so guilty for even talking to you. I don’t know how you did it. I’m so selfish to be pouring all this on you-’
‘Hey, hey,’ she whispered, ‘But I am the only one who can truly understand. I have lost more in my lifetime than anybody ever should. But I am going to help you get through this, Y/N.’
You pulled her into a hug, ‘I missed you so much. I’m so sorry, but I can’t do this.’
Wanda slowly pulled away, eyes cloudy and touch of red twinge flying in her irises. ‘Alright. I won’t leave your side. No matter what you decide.’
The chair was cold, the room was cold, no matter how inviting the hospital tried to make this room. It was decorated in the most neutral colors, so delicate in its designs, pamphlets and books scattered on every available surface. It was made to make the pregnant person feel secure, to feel comfortable in the hands of their doctor, but it just made you sick. 
And when the doctor asked if you would like an ultrasound first, that it wasn’t actually necessary for you to view it, you found yourself saying yes. You were at six weeks, it would be there. Wanda clenched her eyes shut, because even if you were strong enough to do that, she wasn’t. But she was here to hold your hand. She would hold your hand no matter what. 
It was the size of a grain of rice. That fuzzy, white figure off a little to the right of your uterus was the size of a grain. A literal grain of rice. The monitor shifted and the doctor cleared their throat, the slimy device absentmindedly being circled around your lower abdomen. 
‘Oh my god,’ you whispered, eyes locked on the place the doctor had their finger. Wanda brought her hand up to her mouth and looked away. 
That’s when you heard it. 
The steady rhythm of a strong heartbeat. 
Your chest started heaving, tears staining your cheeks as you listened to the beautiful sound. 
‘I’m so sorry,’ the doctor mumbled, ready to pull the monitor’s plug to end the live video but you gripped their arm before they could. 
‘No, no!’ you yelped, the heartbeat still sounding, so early in its actual life that this was for sure Steve’s child. 
You turned to Wanda, face contorting into one of agonizing regret. ‘I can’t do this. I can’t do this to Steve.’
Wanda gulped and took in a ragged breath, ‘Y/N, Steve’s not here.’
‘No,’ you whined, head turning back to look at the monitor. The monitor with yours and Steve’s child on it. ‘This is the only real part of him we have left, right?’
Wanda opened her mouth but shut it again, unable to formulate a proper response. 
‘This is Steve’s child,’ you stated, sucking in a breath through your sobs. ‘This is my child.’
The team was alerted of your decision the minute you walked into the common room. They had known what you left for, dread itching in their souls and morals twisting greedily, but they hadn’t stopped you. They couldn’t do that to you. 
‘Hi,’ you mumbled, placing your things on the counter. Everyone kept their heads down, lumps growing in their throats as each second passed. ‘I’m okay.’
Clint was the first one to speak. ‘Did everything go well? Did they hurt you?’
You smiled with your teeth for the first time in weeks, ‘No, they didn’t hurt me. They didn’t even touch me.’
For a few seconds, no one caught on to your words. But Bucky was the first to register them, to etch them deeply into his brain, to stand from his seat and walk to you cautiously. ‘You decided-?’
You smiled wide now, happy tears falling over your strained cheeks. ‘I’m having a baby.’
The team erupted, cries and cheers deafening you. Bucky stumbled over and hugged you close, arms wrapped over your shoulders and face buried in your neck. He had to bend his knees to keep that position. He weeped into your shoulder and thanked you repeatedly, his own body rumbling with broken sobs. You held him close, fingers digging into his shirt and the skin of his back. 
‘We promise, Y/N,’ Sam said off to the side, waiting for his turn to hug you. ‘We promise to take care of you and this baby.’
A few more long-awaited congratulations were shared. ‘Guess I’m on desk duty for the next nine months, huh?’
Bucky held you tighter. 
`
The first four months were certainly eventful. Wanda insisted on taking pictures of you every few weeks. She had you model with a nice tight shirt to show off your growing stomach, different props in your arms as the weeks passed on.  Flowers, sporting equipment, random Avengers inventions, signs that read the number of weeks you were at. You even did couple shoots, with your teammates posing behind you with their hands on your stomach and an equally bright smile.
She had them printed out and framed, the compound common rooms now littered with random photos of you and your growing child. It was like a timeline, a museum considering you would catch someone inspecting the photographs. This time it was Scott, casually eating his cereal and balancing it in his hand as he walked the hallway. He had this silly smile on his face the whole time, milk dripping from his bottom lip. In his photo, he was posed behind you with a giant smile, back arched and head thrown back while you were trying your best to arch your back as well. And then he saw you watching him, eyes falling from your face to your stomach, and that silly smile growing wider. 
Happy insisted on doing yoga with you every other morning, his chosen playlists actually Tony’s. Half expecting the songs to only emit the essence of rock and roll, you were surprised when the playlist only contained acoustics. Happy winked at you, ‘He was a man of taste, Y/N. He, too, had those sad driving songs.’
Peter was hesitant to visit at first. He was still mourning Tony, as you all were, and seeing everyone again was certainly a hard thing to do. But he managed, and the moment he saw you there, trying to balance a plastic bottle on your tiny stomach, he burst into a fit of giggles. 
‘Oh, oh! I almost got it!’ you encouraged yourself, stomach not yet protruded enough to quite get it. 
Peter rushed over and caught the bottle as it slipped, ‘You’ll get there. How do you feel?’
You grinned at the kid, ‘Like I’m pregnant.’
Peter chuckled, ‘I wouldn’t know, so.’
‘It’s weird,’ you admitted, turning back to your abandoned bowl of fruit. You popped a piece of pineapple in your mouth, ‘But I just remind myself that they’re gonna be an angel when they come out.’
‘All slimy and angelic.’
You swatted at Peter, ‘They’re healthy. That’s all that matters.’
Peter placed his hand on your stomach, half-expecting something to happen. ‘I can’t believe you’re having his baby.’
You bit your lip, willing yourself not to cry. Steve should be here experiencing this. ‘Me neither.’
`
The next month had come so quickly. Your friends - your family - made sure to keep you occupied. Whether it was to shop, to nap together, to eat together, to exercise together, anything, they were by your side. It was so overwhelming at times, but not wanting to scare anyone, you took time for yourself whenever you could. You’d settle in your room, in a nearby cafe, in Natasha’s room, and just sit and breathe. With one hand on your stomach, you couldn’t possibly fathom the luck on your side. It always tore your heart in two when you realized Steve would never meet his child, absolutely mutilated it. But the realization that this child was going to have such a massive family, your family, uncles and aunts who would die for the kid - that realization was sometimes too much. 
The thunder from outside startled everyone. The quiet night everyone was having was suddenly interrupted by the appearance of a certain god, hair now cut and beard trimmed, running into the common area. He was practically hyperventilating, his quick pace halting as he scanned the room. ‘Is it true?’
‘You got my message?’ Wanda asked, shutting off the water from the sink. 
‘I’m sorry, I was away. I just got the message and-’
Thor lay his eyes on you, your obvious stomach, and he started crying softly. ‘It’s true?’
You smiled at him, opening your arms for an embrace. But Thor fell to his knees in front of you, forehead resting on your stomach. ‘This is a miracle.’
‘It really is,’ you laughed, wiping away a few stray tears. ‘The condom broke.’
Laughter sounded almost instantly. 
Thor looked up at you, eyes red and eyebrows furrowed. ‘He didn’t know?’
You shook your head, ‘No, Steve didn’t know. I promise.’
Thor nodded, believing you. He stood slowly, encasing you in a tight squeeze. He hadn’t changed much since you last saw him, but he did seem to be drinking less. ‘After so much loss, the Heaven’s send us a gift from a beloved friend.’
`
Bucky seemed to be the happiest. Although he shared your beliefs that Steve should be here to experience this, to cherish this, to be the father he had deserved to be, Bucky couldn’t help but feel grateful that you decided to keep the baby. He knew he needed to stop relying on Steve to fix his mind, this he had to do on his own, but the bundle of joy inside of you just added to his undying love for his best friend. This was a piece of him, a true half of Steve’s heart that would soon be breathing air and opening its eyes. 
He was currently laying beside you, just woken up from a nap and lazily drawing circles over your clothed tummy. You were still asleep, deep breaths a little ragged since you were twisted slightly to your side. You had given up trying to sleep on your back nowadays. 
‘Hey there,’ Bucky whispered, a funny smile forming on his face because he can’t believe he’s talking to your literal stomach. ‘You know you’re a miracle, right?’
There was no response, obviously. But Bucky just positioned himself to lean on his elbow, temple resting in the palm of his hand. ‘We’re going to love you so much. Steve would have loved you so much.’
He placed his metal hand on your stomach, careful not to apply so much pressure. He was hesitant though, the metal hand now from Wakanda but still something he didn’t entirely trust. Still, he rubbed smooth circles on your side. ‘I already love you so much.’
Kick.
Bucky widened his eyes, a hitch in his breath. Was that real?
‘Did you just respond to me?’ Bucky asked, a little laugh escaping his lips. ‘Should I say it again?’
Nothing happened for a long while. He switched hands, rubbing a little deeper now. It was a free massage for you, anyway. 
Bucky bit his lip and looked up at your face, still peacefully dreaming. He leaned closer to your stomach and repeated his earlier confession. ‘I love you.’
Kick. 
Bucky shot up from his spot on the bed and covered his mouth, a loud laugh accidentally escaping and startling you awake. 
‘W-What?’
‘They kicked! They kicked!’
‘Seriously?’
Bucky was shooting through the stars, because even though it was a long shot, he felt like somehow Steve was telling him he loved him back. 
`
Sam’s leg bounced madly as he watched the doctor slick up the generator. You repeatedly tried to calm him, tell him that it would be quick and simple, and there was nothing to be worried about. 
You were six months now. Belly now protruding to the point where you could only see the tips of your toes when you glanced downward, and the baby was positioned farther into your back. If anything, you were having a giant freaking baby. He was a product of a super soldier. 
You remembered having that scary conversation with the doctors, your whole family beside you as they heard and relayed the information. 
‘Your baby is perfectly healthy. The serum isn’t affecting it. His lungs are forming less quickly than the other organs but there’s no serious worry.’
Bucky had literally cackled at that, confusing everyone in the room. ‘Steve and his shit lungs.’
But now you were finding out the sex. Only one person was allowed in the room this time, and Sam had literally begged you with his eyes to choose him. 
‘Are you two ready?’
You each nodded at the doctor, waiting for the monitor to spring to life. After a few seconds, the heartbeat was detected. You gripped Sam’s hand in yours, a quiet ‘thank god’ passing through his lips. 
Then the giant image of a literal baby appeared on the screen. It was so surreal. It resembled a quick sketch, like one Steve would have casually drew, and you couldn’t help but imagine him drawing that very image from memory. 
‘Y/N, I-’ Sam cleared his throat, smiling at you. 
‘Would you like to know the sex of the baby?’
‘Yes, please,’ you answered, gripping Sam’s hand harder. 
The doctor moved the generator a few times more, hitting the spacebar on the computer to capture the image. ‘Congratulations, you’re having a boy.’
You shuttered a tiny laugh as Sam flew out of his seat, arms extended upward for a moment before he brought his hands down to kiss them over and over. 
‘I’ll print this out for you,’ the doctor smiled, leaving you and Sam to celebrate. 
`
Everyone had gathered later that night to find out the news. You had printed enough copies for everyone who wanted one. Bets were placed, a multitude of gifts already mounted in online shopping carts. 
‘Don’t keep us waiting!’ Rhodey shouted, champagne bottle at the ready and propped up on his thigh for when you made your announcement. 
Sam was standing beside you, a massive grin plastered on his face. You rolled your eyes at him and urged him on, telling him that you were fine with him saying it. Sam didn’t need to be told twice. 
‘It’s a boy!’
Pop! Drinks were poured and hugs were shared, with even Friday coming over the monitor to congratulate you. 
Even in the midst of all the excitement, you felt a little empty. But you enjoyed your pre-baby shower, happy that everything was so unbelievably working out. 
It was midnight when you alerted Friday to call Happy to your room. You needed a ride. 
Happy was slightly irritated at being woken up, but once you told him where you were heading, he obliged. The ride was silent, comfortable, with Happy glancing at you once in a while to make sure you were okay. 
You walked across the grass slowly, hands resting on your stomach and just a little waddle in your walk. You flashed your phone light over the headstones even though the headstone you were looking for was in a secluded area. Happy trailed you, keeping a respectable distance. 
You stopped in front of the small building, the fence somewhat blocking your path. But there was no security around, and even if you were caught on camera, your face let everyone know who you were and your connection to Steve. You had no worries. 
You broke the lock easily and opened the door. It was almost entirely marble, a good deal of Steve’s actual aesthetic. So simple, not overly patriotic, and secluded. He had refused to be buried in Arlington. 
You sat on the bench provided, the three names in front of you standing out like they were begging to be read out loud. So you complied. 
‘Sarah,’ you muttered, smiling as the name rolled off your tongue. ‘Thank you for sending everyone a literal angel.’
You muttered his father’s name as well, but felt no personal connection to it. You spent at least ten minutes building up the courage to utter his name, to say his name in front of him again. He was buried right underneath your feet, his name the only thing for you to see. 
‘Steve,’ you sighed and rubbed your stomach. ‘Steve.’
You sobbed silently and watched as the tears fell on top of your resting hands. ‘I don’t regret it.’
You were met with silence. ‘I don’t regret any of it. God knows why he did this. But you lived your life, and I just can’t believe I have to bring life into this world without you here.’
‘It’s a boy, Steve. A lovely little boy.’
You brought your hand up to your mouth to bite the side of it, throat clenching. ‘Everyone is so happy. I am, too. I promise you.’
You lowered your hand back to your stomach. ‘I just wish that you could feel that happiness.’
The moonlight moved slightly, shining on his name brighter now. ‘He’ll know about you, don’t worry about that.’ You laughed. 
You didn’t want to keep Happy waiting. You stood from the bench slowly, feet sore. You walked closer to him, wishing you could easily bend down and give him a kiss. But you physically couldn’t right now, so you blew him one instead. ‘Thank you.’
`
Somehow the rumor got out that an Avenger was pregnant. And when Wanda was seen outside without a large stomach, all fingers were pointed at you. 
The news went ballistic, most positive and raving, while others pondered just who had gotten you pregnant. You had been seen with everyone in paparazzi photos, so no actual conclusion had been made. 
Until a picture of you at Steve’s gravesite was leaked. 
It was constant bombardment, timelines were stitched together, magazines and their headlines were having a field day. Rhodey had tried to cancel these news stories, to threaten lawsuits, but to no avail. The world was now cursing Steve’s name - ‘how dare he leave her while pregnant?’, ‘how could he leave her pregnant and for another woman?’, ‘did he even know?’
The team had done everything in their power to try and clear yours and Steve’s name, but no one was having it. Steve’s love story was now tarnished, with many calling him a traitor and a deadbeat. It was no use. 
You struggled to climb the stairs, inwardly cursing the staff for not installing a ramp instead. The flashes were blinding, the lights were hot, and the various microphones placed on the stand were comical. 
Everyone hushed, looks of sympathy and pity slapping you in the face. 
‘I know what you’re all thinking and what you’ve all been saying,’ you started, eyes wandering to the far corner of the room where your team were huddled. ‘But I need to clear a few things up.’
‘Steve didn’t know.’
The crowd erupted, questions flying at you like fast bullets. They were silenced after a few moments. ‘We shared a moment with each other before we brought everyone back. I didn’t know I was pregnant until after his funeral.’
The crowd murmured amongst each other. ‘He told me he was planning to stay in another timeline. To live his life. I encouraged him. He did not leave me alone and pregnant. He truly didn’t know.’
You finished, they didn’t deserve a deeper explanation. You ignored their calls for questions, some even trying to crowd you at the doors. But you pushed through them, cradling your stomach with a newfound sense of pride. 
`
It was time. 
You sat up in your bed and quickly wiped away the hard crusts from the corners of your eyes. You sat there for a few seconds before you felt another harsh twinge. ‘A-ah!’
You didn’t know why you paused, legs now thrown over the side of the bed. They felt like menstrual cramps, it could be false labor. You let out a heavy breath and pushed yourself up, legs wobbly. But the moment you did, it was like something snapped. Your legs were wet and a tiny puddle had started forming on the floor. 
‘Friday!’
The lights in your room turned on immediately, ‘Y/N, is it time?’
You moaned at the uncomfortable cramping, ‘Yeah, I think it is.’
‘I’m waking and alerting the team right now, Y/N. Sit back down, please.’
You listened to Friday, sitting at the edge of your bed for a few moments before you realized you had to pack a bag. You shuffled across your room and grabbed the duffel bag Scott had left for you a few days ago. You packed a pair of socks, sweats, underwear, vaseline and your toothbrush, hairbrush, and phone. You zipped your bag just in time for both Bucky and Sam to throw open your door, Sam struggling to put his shoes on and Bucky slipping on a jacket inside-out. 
‘Y/N, is it really time? Are you ready? Are you okay?’
You ignored the cramping in your back and laughed at them, ‘Yes! My water broke, I’m in pain, it’s time.’
With both Sam and Bucky at your sides, they held onto you as you all stumbled down the hallway. Thor was already waiting with the elevator open, the biggest smile on his aging face. 
‘Wanda and Bruce are preparing the room. Scott already called the doctor. Clint’s in route,’ Bucky reassured. The three men huddled into the elevator with you, all instructing you to breathe and to squeeze them if you needed to. 
But even though you were in pain, albeit not as extreme as it was going to inevitably get, you were so incredibly happy. They were all so loud, so chaotic, and you were as calm as a cucumber. 
The elevator dinged. ‘Good luck, Y/N,’ you heard Friday call after you. You pinched your eyes closed, the thought that Friday was ultimately a part of Tony’s consciousness - Tony was wishing you good luck. 
The pressure in your hips was starting to build and you didn’t know how long this would actually take. Some people had quick births, some people lay in labor for hours, some for a day. But it seemed like this was going to be pretty quick, because your next scream was completely involuntarily. 
Bucky winced, leading you to the bed Wanda had just lay sheets on. ‘You’re doing great, Y/N. Absolutely perfect.’
You laughed at Bucky and gripped his hand in silent thanks before slipping into the bed and trying to get comfortable. Before you could truly feel like you made it, like the first hard step was done, you sat up quickly. 
‘Wait, wait! Nat’s sweater! I was gonna wear Nat’s sweater!’
Thor was already out the door, ‘I’ll get it! Don’t worry!’
You smiled at the ceiling, beads of sweat now rolling down your forehead. ‘Oh, this hurts!’
It was an hour. Once you shimmied into Natasha’s purple knitted sweater, you lay there trying to control your breathing. Everyone had piled into the room one right after the other. The room was big enough, spacious enough for even Bruce to roam freely. Although you were in an immense amount of pain, you still focused on your team. 
Scott was on his third cup of coffee, sipping excitedly as he conversed with the others. Bruce was constantly checking your vitals and wanting everything the doctor was saying repeated. Wanda was beside you, a hand gripping yours and the other running ice chips along your lips. Bucky was on your other bedside wearing one of Steve’s sweatshirts because it still smelled like him. His logic was that if he was wearing something of Steve’s the first moment he held your baby, then the first thing he smelled would be the remnants of his father. 
And Thor was practically speechless, silent in his own little corner and feeling like the god’s really did bless everyone in this room after such turmoil.
Clint arrived with Peter trailing behind him just when the doctor instructed you sit up - you were at ten centimeters. 
‘You gotta push, Y/N! You gotta push when the doctor says push!’
You yelled until your lungs gave out, head almost rolling back but Sam held it in his palm. ‘C’mon, Y/N! You’re doing great!’
You usually had perfect pitch when you sang, never faltering when it was time to hit a high note. But your voice was cracking at the most unusual times, throat rubbed raw as you felt your hips splinter open. 
‘He’s crowning!’
Wanda traded places with Sam real quick, deciding that she wanted to see the baby when he was finally out. Bucky had a death grip on your hand, tears flowing freely and a smile to match Thor’s. 
‘Push, Y/N! Push!’
‘I’m-I’m! I’m sorry! I can’t!’
The doctor was working her hands around the head, trying to ease the baby out easier. ‘Trust me, Y/N. One more big push and the shoulders will be out. That’s the hardest part.’
The doctor’s words were starting to drown out, and your head lolled back again. You felt tiny smacks on your cheeks, ‘C’mon, Y/N. You can do this. Everyone believes in you. You’re so goddamn strong, Y/N!’
That was Bucky’s voice. Bucky. 
You opened your eyes, delirious for a second. ‘Steve?’
Bucky whimpered and nodded, bringing your hand up to his lips and pressing kisses all over. ‘He’s here. I feel him, Y/N. You can do this.’
And you could feel him. You could see your family but you could feel him. It was so light, like a gentle whisk across the cheek, a promise that this truly was a miracle. 
You screamed as you pushed under doctor’s orders, feeling numb and abused but satisfied. His shoulders slipped out and along with them came his arms and torso, legs and all ten toes. The doctor caught him quickly, lifting him up vertically to let you see him. He was already crying. 
‘He’s here!’
You sobbed and smiled widely, laughter rattling your chest as the team bombarded you with quick hugs. Sam remained at your side, his eyes motioning for Bucky to go see the baby. 
‘Who’s cutting the cord?’
You looked around the room but you knew. You answered the doctor’s question. ‘Bucky.’
Bucky was truly confused. Not because of your decision, but because he couldn’t possibly be worthy of this. His hands, those hands that had killed so many people involuntarily, had almost killed Steve, those hands were now gripping a pair of medical scissors to cut the symbolization of new life entering the world. He turned to you for permission one last time, before he gripped the cord in his hand and cut where the doctor pointed. 
His shoulders felt a million times lighter. Like he was set free all over again. 
They cleaned the baby up quickly and swaddled him. The doctor placed him in your arms, all warm and utterly safe, to look back up at you with the same blue eyes as his father. 
You sobbed happily, brushing your fingers delicately along his pink cheek. ‘Hi. Hi there.’
He was no longer crying, just staring up in pure astonishment at the various faces staring back at him. 
‘Y/N, he’s beautiful,’ Clint said, tissue already in hand. 
‘I can’t believe you’re here,’ you spoke softly. 
‘Do we have a name?’
It was like everyone said it in unison. ‘Steve.’
You snuggled into the bed and Natasha’s sweater, somewhat aware of the doctor still fixing you up down there. You would try feeding later, but for now your newborn needed to be passed around the group and be awed at. 
You carefully guided him to Bucky, holding his head gently in your palm. Bucky took him, arms instinctively curling in the correct position. Once Bucky had him in his arms, it was like everything that happened in the world was worth it. Absolutely everything. 
Bucky watched in fascination as the baby curled deeper in his chest, little fist clutching Steve’s sweatshirt. He took the sweetest little intake of air…
`
xxMoni
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