#i still have a problem with thinking im not doing enough and im not enough

[a3screenshots]

Originally shot: 5/26/21

The best growth was getting to see Banri act as a true leader <3

#a3! #banri settsu #taichi nanao #he gets into this supportive big brother role and I LOVE it #and look at that soft smile in the third pic!! #he cares so much!!! 🥺🥺🥺 #ive definitely felt what Taichi feels #i still have a problem with thinking im not doing enough and im not enough

[personishfive]

in which his life is like a video game

#persona 5 #joker p5 #morgana p5 #akira kurusu #ren amamiya #my art #p5 spoilers #<- i mean. i dont like. say anything outright but like. i feel like i say *enough* in this one. lol #this ones actually pretty old i was just bored and wanted to draw but didnt want to draw enough to do anything serious so i finished it #i almost scrapped it because well it was hard to wrangle and had a minor tone problem but well. they cant all be winners <3 #not my best work but i think the concept is. um. kind of really funny. lol #morgana: shit maybe it'll help him a little to play a game. get his mind off recent events. (it does not do this) #i still think this game is the funniest addition to royal. like they went out of their way to add this akechi themed video game in royal #im gonna be real with you. i think the gray pigeon theory thing is kind of silly. but goro akechi featherman parallels r so real. real shit #have you guys seen proof of justice. wasnt that crazy. that was crazy. #anyway. i want a love so strong it'll bring me back from the dead! or however that featherman episode goes. seeya #comics

[dyketubbo]

i remember seeing someone call tubbo a fully grown adult at 19 (obvs before he turned 20) and i gotta say. i think maybe some people have a really skewed idea of what constitutes as "fully grown". and also what constitutes as properly mature. thinking that at 18/19 (or hell even at 20/21) people are now fully grown and mature is insane to me like yall thats how you get people thinking their life is over at like 23 and that 30 year olds are senior citizens 😭😭 be fr

#this is a problem no matter where you look but i think a lot of ppl in the mcyt fandom esp seem to think once youre- #-considered an adult at all that it automatically means youre fully grown and mature and thats just nooottt really true for most ppl #which i think can lead people down to sort of dangerous paths especially because 'adult' is often defined by age of consent #and theres also some slight cultural differences like even just between the us and the uk where due to 18yr olds being able to drink in- #-the uk (and other places) i think it genuinely causes some dissonance #where i see often in the us that when youre 18/19 youre still treated (id say rightfully) as being rather young and not Truly a grown adult #hence. yk. the term Young Adult #but i think in places where the drinking age is younger it starts causing people to see younger people as more mature #which is also why a lot of predators like to push for the age of consent to be at a younger age like 15 or 16 #and why many lolicons try to point at japans age of consent (which for the record is complicated and not as simple as just 'age of consent- #-is 13') as a defense for how they act #because these sorts of milestones (having sex and drinking) are seen as marks of a true adult. which gets into a whole lot of other #complicated things #and often dangerous things and ways of thinking #ANYWAYS . basically 18/19 isnt fully grown 20 is also hardly fully grown itself #and theres ways to combat people infantilizing tubbo and other creators his age without acting like hes actually #fully grown and mature lol. i promise you humans are not fully grown at 20 years old are you kidding me 😭😭😭😭 #if youre in your 20s you still have a lot of time and space to grow i promise. do not fall for the idea that your life is done by like 23 #idk. im only 18 myself but it just feels insane to me that if i were a creator people would be calling me a fully grown adult #not that im not an adult but i dont think im mature enough to be seen as fully grown and i guess itssss. sad? #to see other people my age think that turning 18 means youre fully grown. just really not true #theres a lot of 30 year olds who still see early 20yr olds as being practically babies we have Not made it to full maturity yet i prommy #mask mews

[dennisboobs]

my favourite thing about the always sunny podcast is listening to rcg all say something extremely neurodivergent and then agree amongst themselves and convince themselves its completely normal

#and to be clear im not diagnosing them charlie said he wasn't neurotypical #like deadass i think. the reason some of their writers just completely botch the gang's motivations/dialogue sometimes is bc at their core #these characters are all. SO autistic. which inevitably leads to them being misunderstood by others outside their group #whether rcg realizes it or not they inject this very specific vibe of neurodivergence into the gang #and its why they will just. argue over inconsequential details bc they Need to be understood completely #they can't just drop it unless they are crystal fucking clear #imo the biggest mistake other writers make is thinking that the gang is completely desensitized when its more like #they just don't react the way you would expect #which is often... adjacent to that but still distinct. and its trauma that influences this as well #the gang does not believe they themselves are 'bad people'. theyre most often oblivious to the fact that the things they do are insane #rob saying he doesnt pick up on social cues and then going on to argue in circles with glenn #i dont think last week was anything crazy but i think. rob doesn't know when to let up. which is a problem that *i* have #and while it comes across as being confrontational in an 'im right youre wrong' way i dont think its driven by ego here #just like with how as they said mac and dennis are making up while chucking bread rolls at each other #on both sides its frustration at being misunderstood #but they are all similar enough that even if they disagree over small details theyre usually on the same page. and this can be beneficial!! #thats the conclusion of the ep!!!! whether its suggesting smoking to cancel out the toxic apple skin or suggesting words u cant think of #glenn said he was upset about feeling misrepresented and picked on #dennis gets angry for those exact reasons in.... ALL of his big rage scenes #its frustration that leads to anger because youre speaking to (another) brick wall and you can't adequately explain yourself #which. glenn is clearly more competent than dennis & i think a lot of the time in sunny the gang is WAY more obtuse for the sake of comedy #but its interesting to watch the dynamic because as charlie said last week #they are mac and dennis (especially when theyre fighting) #i just think.. they are in a semi-unique position to understand this because this is how they are. while several other writers do not get i #ada speaks #untagged

[lobotomyladylives]

I think bpd is a bullshit stigmatizing label thrown at women to pathologize what is very obviously a response to prolonged childhood trauma and would be better labeled as C-PTSD. that being said my god I am bpd as fuck

#my sister just snapped at me bc i said i dont want to do a ton of physical labor for the job she signed me up for which apparently does i #in fact involve a lot of it. and her being mad for even that moment sent me spiraling so badly & i had the reaction i often do where #i start hating both her & myself terribly & want to isolate forever #i think she hates her new job & is taking it out on me but it doesnt matter bc i cant handle being yelled at #and the fact thst it took me till adulthood to realize thats bc i associate it with my father is crazy. yeah its just the cptsd like #everything else. and whats nutso is how i continue to think my trauma Wasnt Bad Enough for ptsd . #just bc he didnt beat the shit out of or molest me i feel like i dont even have a right to be this fucked up #not that it was only him. being bullied at school really did not help. i guess now that i think about it the problem is that until #i was a teenager i literally did not feel emotionally secure anywhere. home or school. always the ticking of a bomb in the bg #the inevitable moment my dad blew up over nothing or i overheard my peers talking about what a freak i was #i dont know why it still hurts to think about. im so far removed from it my life now couldnt be more different #well thats the stupid fucking thing about childhood isnt it. those are your very first experiences with the world & other ppl #i do know my view of romantic relationships was irrevocably poisoned by my parents & that is never going to be undone. so cool

[alternautxyz]

uuhhh in other new that lmk s5 trailer dropped and people are very

mixed

for context the new season is being partly animated by wildbrain i think. flying bark is still working on the show but probably due to all the other projects they've been working on like the atla movie the animation is off.

its understandable that people are upset. lmk has some of the most consistently dynamic and lively animation ive ever seen, and going from that to ok animation kinda sucks. as a culmination of a lot of what the series has been building up to people were inevitably going to be disappointed

at the same time people shouldnt harass animators. like ever. no amount of trying to petition or anything will change the s5, people are just trying to do their job and theres no probably no major changing to the finished product by now. and theres still a lot of that lmk charm in there, and we haven't even seen the whole season yet to judge it. flying bark is still working on it, and even if the animation never reaches the peak of the old seasons it still has the same writers so at least the writing has the chance to live up old standards. idk though we'll just have to wait and see

#i do think they could have just delayed it after dealing with other projects but with the anniversary lego might have jsut forced them???? #and with how the animation industry is i guess they didnt have a choice #tbh im still really sad about the downgrade but after rewatching the trailer a bit more its not that bad despite the tweening #we've been spoiled with the other seasons but i think people will get used to it at some point. maybe #though i cant forgive some of the new stuff like erlang and that dragon tiger duo they do not fit the artstyle at all #though for erlang i think the problem is mostly proportions and how small his eyes look #but the dragon and tigers snouts just look bad. #ok looking at it again i think it looks weird because theyre dissolving. the design's still off but it wasn't as bad as i first thought. #but the proportions and shapes feels like it just isn't from lmk #idk i could nitpick but negativity is tiring and these guys have big shoes to fill for a show they werent prepared for it was inevitable #for any last takeaways please do not be mean to the animators #also studio changes are normal so its not some horrible injustice or the sign of the end times im more upset lego didn't handle it better #i still hope s5 is good and i want to believe it'll still be satisfying by the end the plot so far sounds pretty interesting #or atleast that the atla movie is good enough to compensate #and if im feeling greedy there will be a 6th season that gets better #and there are still good shots throughout all of this so maybe it'll work out with the season as a whole #with how popular it is in china i dont think its out of the question #idk though a lot of information is still up in the air so i guess we just wait #lego monkie kid #lmk #monkie kid #alttalks

[bonetrousledbones]

i know that this is a weirdly common paradox that happens in this fandom but folks i cannot overstate how much of a punch in the throat it was to come across a post saying "hiiii in canon frisk and chara are nb but in this au they're boys ^.^", finding what looks like their main blog since just blocking the au's sideblog is useless, and immediately seeing this in their pinned post

#trousled rambles #SAFE TO SAY I SURE DID BLOCK THEM IMMEDIATELY #i would ask how this person is into ut but honestly if they think trans kids are a problem or medical transition of kids even Happens #it absolutely tracks that everything in the game would go entirely over their head #still funny tho bc i looked through some more of their posts and its like #it doesnt even seem like they actually like the game. bro what are you doing here #im sure if i scrolled far enough i'd find them calling the monsters the racist ones #im just baffled like. ok so you hate all the monsters. you hate trans kids. so you have chosen to join and make content for this fandom #the trans kids get adopted by monsters fandom #okay! #i just need to point and shame them a minute folks dont mind me

[corfisers]

i really need to finish this one day

#one of my fave ideas but i keep getting stuck or starting over. third time's the charm hopefully #anyways. posting it as an excuse to rant because i'm losing my mind over this rn for no reason #incoherent but i just need to Talk or my brain won't shut up #you ever think about how fucked up it is that aoi feels guilty over what happened. i do. i think about her a lot #he can't even look at me. we aren't even blood related but he still had to go to jail because of me. i still love him #in reality none of it is her fault. it shouldn't be about doumeki in the first place. baby girl you were 15 when it happened. #you can say that yashiro is cruel in his dismissiveness (on the surface) of doumeki's trauma but you can see where he's coming from #you got a glimpse of what your sister was going through? of what i went through? and now you're sooo guilty over it? and who does it help? #doumeki's so focused on his own feelings that he ignored aoi when they were living together. “saves” her by pure chance #proceeds to focus on his guilt and ignore her again. if yashiro didn't get involved she'd be sitting in the rain for god knows how long #yet she still loves and to some degree idolizes him #yashiro and aoi both saying that doumeki isn't the type of person to be a yakuza too. doumeki's good doumeki's better than that #and then ch 24 happens. where yashiro says that he's going to throw up and doumeki's response is “i probably won't stop even if you do” #“guess i am like my father after all” and yashiro still goes “you're not. you're pure and im the problem” #(touches doumeki's face. rare gentle gesture. he's gentle afterwards too before leaving. man.) #he's not cruel enough to repeat what he said in the earlier conversation and he doesn't actually believe it anyway #but i wish yashiro was cruel there. it shouldn't have been about doumeki and his feelings. again. #something about yashiro throwing a knife at another person and it flying back at him huh #for all the talk about how doumeki supposedly romanticizes yashiro it really is the other way around. always has been #which is a whole other conversation but yeah. everything about aoi and yashiro in relation to doumeki makes me so fucking sad #but this is also what i mean when i say that aoi doesn't haunt the narrative per se but still has this weird presence? #she's in the parallels. she's in the brief but important mentions. she's in the “your sister was lucky she had you”. #wips tag

[healingheartdogs]

Cardio said my echocardiogram ultrasound, exercise stress test, and week long heart monitor all showed no serious issues, my resting heart rate is fine, but that my heart rate does seem to rise very rapidly under even small amounts of stress (postural changes, taking stairs, casually walking around my house) and rises very high (160+ bpm according to the monitor) so now I get to be put on beta blockers to see if they work and if they do she said that is sufficient evidence to confirm for sure that it's POTS.

Obviously could confirm it as well with a tilt table test but those are TORTURE based off what I've heard from fellow POTSies so I am very thankful that she doesn't think that's necessary and will not be making me do one.

#i was not expecting to get dx and meds this fast tbh but im very happy about it #i think the fact that she also has POTS herself helps because she is very well acquaintaned with what it looks and feels like #and how hard it is to actually catch with orthostatics in office unless youre having a bad heart day #so my orthostatics not being within range was unsurprising to her and she was like #'that doesnt mean anything you clearly still have a heart rate issue going on even if it didnt show itself right now' #i didnt do shit the entire week i had that monitor on to like physically exert myself but my heart rate still hit almost 170 a few times #also the doctor who did my stress test asked me if i ever experience any chest discomfort or pain and i was like hm no dont think so #and he went 'your chart says you have palpitations though?' #and i was like '... those count as discomfort???' akdjaicidjwjcjsn the answer is yes apparently #im just so used to them now because i have them daily that they dont even really register to me anymore #unless theyre bad enough to knock the wind out of me or make me cough #they just make me anxious which... ig is also a form of discomfort #chronic illness and chronic pain problems though lol not having a normal baseline for discomfort and pain #ndr #not dog related #health stuff #not that anyone probably cares lol but im excited about getting things that have neen affecting me for years FINALLY figured out #im not crazy im just disabled!!!! #*been

[selenealwayscries]

lifesteal fans rejoice! he's now a marketable plushie!

I made him as a base so you can make you own skin with him lol . both steve and alex versions under the cut

steve (4 pixel arms) on the left and alex (3 pixel arms) on the right

go nuts o7

#mcyt #lifesteal smp #lifestealblr #thats an actual tag?? ok #branzy #branzycraft #i cant think of any canon tags left so rant time hehe #im still waiting for a convincing enough excuse for me to actually watch lifesteal #so far the evil clown stuff is pretty good but just a little bit not enough #idk what would convince me either . idk what my tastes are and its as much of a problem to me as it is to everyone who wants me to watch it #iight make a matching clownpierce one . who knows #depending on my mood maybe hehe #why do i keep saying hehe . stop that #its like 12am rn can you tell #anyways i keep wanting to make skin for the past 15 hours i need to STOP #someone pay me so i can have an excuse to do that /j /j /j #anyways brain no function bye #moondrop.exe

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#im still procrastinating so bear with me #ive just been thinking abt something. like the idea of a support system #bc as a 1st year grad student ppl around me r like: it must be hard being away from ur support system or ive left my support system when i #moved halfway across the country. and like i dont really feel that way bc idk the idea of a support system is sorta odd to me #like for me i guess it would just b my parents who i kno love me but im just so weirdly asocial that i never really talk to them #like i hardly ever text them. we talk maybe every couple months. so like i guess i theoretically have support but its a bit abstract #and like i have friends i guess but again im a bit weird and dont really feel connected to ppl so i dont feel that close to anyone #surface level friendships i guess. i dunno. i just feel weird not not having a support system but also having it b hollow #i guess i cant feel it more now. like i feel like getting diagnosed as bip0lar made my problems seem more realized to my parents #like i dunno i just assumed they knew i was doing awful most of the time but maybe that wasn't the case #its such a weird thing to b diagnosed with. like the conotations feel a lot heavier and i feel like im not supposed to talk abt it to ppl #bc theyll think im unreliable or something. like it wouldnt b that big a deal if i was just depressed but the sometimes buring out of my #skin makes me somehow scarier. and i still feel conflicted bc i do have a bip0lar mood profile but i have very very high impulse control #and even when im going high my mind is still super rational about it. which seems weird bc low impulse control is common with #the diagnosis. its also y i dont fit an 4dhd profile. not that it really matters. i fit the criteria enough to be on the bip0lar spectrum #its not like someone's gonna come yell at me for not being bip0lar enough. i just feel odd about it is all #still feels fake i guess. hard to imagine feeling any different to how i feel now. which is weirdly stable. so i guess the meds r working #sigh... ok enough i need to go to sleep at 7pm so i can get up at like 2 to finish reading a paper. for some reason my god forsaken brain #works better in the early morning rip #unrelated

[toastsnaffler]

sometimes I wish I was a more interesting + charismatic person just so I could keep conversations going bc I like sharing space with other ppl but they routinely lose all interest and leave once I run out of things to say/start talking abt things that don't concern them :-(

#and boy do I run out of things to say so fast when I'm talking to friends who ik dont give a fuck abt any of my interests... #theres only so much i can make small talk or ask them questions abt their own interests/lives yknow. man #it just makes me feel like im constantly competing with smth else for other ppls attention all the time + constantly losing #eg. when i say smth + my flatmate reaches for her headphones a little dark souls banner appears across my vision like INTERACTION FAILED #and i can feel my rsd + insecurities praying on it like the more i feel this way the more it prophetically fulfils itself #by making me less willing to try and take up space so i become a smaller and smaller person around others #it frustrates me a lot sometimes and i dont rly have the will rn to undo that and force myself to take up more space regardless #ik this sounds like a water is wet complaint like oh nooo woe is me people get bored of me when i talk abt boring things (!!) #but when im spending time w ppl i like i enjoy listening to them talk even if im not interested in the subject bc its Them talking #and if they care abt smth then its worth hearing abt!! to me anyway. but it rly feels like no one reciprocates that idk #oh well not that it matters. at least i like the shit im into so i can talk to myself abt it in my head or on this site lmao #and i like myself as a person even if other people dont so theres always that. ur no 1 should always be urself <3 #voicing this makes me feel so stupid + embarrassed urgh. i hate being anxious abt dumb shit i hate being the sort of person who worries #that their friends privately dislike/just tolerate them or whatever bc id never want a friend to worry abt whether i thought that abt them #and im not naturally a very insecure person!! i think im just feeling particularly vulnerable atm bc of the season + jobhunting so long #+ the fact im dissatisfied with my current social life + still feel very wobbly from not having other ppl i can trust or rely on etcetcetc #and thats just bleeding into other areas. and it sucks a lot. but theres nothing to be done abt it rn bc im not going to communicate it #to other ppl bc im not pathetic enough to make my anxieties someone elses problem + beg for pity attention im too proud for that 👍 #anyway. gonna play some noita + then i rly need to work out today bc thats probs part of why im feeling so shite #if ur reading this ignore me im just venting itll pass. i hope youre having a nice day :^) #.vent #.diaries

[tiredstressedemotionalmess]

me, every night for the past three weeks: oh im feelin good rn! and i had a good day today!! im definitely not gonna lie awake filled with anxiety and dread over my future tonight :D

me, lying in bed 20 minutes later looping famous last words: by talos this cant be happening

#its like im fine literally all day qnd then i start to get ready for bed and the Dread sets in #like its an actual physical feeling in my stomach and i just suddenly out of nowhere have to hold myself back from crying #i literally go from perfectly happy to on the verge of tears in an INSTANT and idk whats causing uty #it #like i know broadly ehat the causes are but idk whats causing the specific switch at night #am i tired?? is it just bc im tired??? bc its not consistently at the same time and most of the time i dont *feel* tired #or is it just like. i knoe im going to bed so i know im gonna be alone with my thoughts and so they all come and hit me at once??? #idk idk idk i just know i hate it and i want it to stop i want everything to fucking stop #id say i need a minute to breathe but really ive been using the past four months as my minute to breathe & thats part of the fucking problem #because ive been putting this all off for so long bc its so overwhelming but now theres so much igotta do and theres real tangible deadlines #so i cant keep putting it off but i DO and its just making it all even more overwhelming and my parents arent fucking helping #but its not even their fault because im chosing not to talk to them about this bc talking to them about it makes it all real #and i dont want it to be real yet im not fucking ready for it to be real yet i just need a goddamn minute TO FUCKING BREATHE #i wish i could freeze time and just give myself a day where none of this matters #actually a days not long enough i think i need like. two weeks. two weeks for me to get my shit together where none of this bullshit exists #and i can just do whatever i want and not have to think about deadlines and decisions and the fact that this is all ive wanted since the #7th fucking grade and now that its actually here i cant fucking stomach the thought of it being real because im a goddamn coward who cant #fucking commit to anything or get themself to DO anything and i know its not really my fault bc i probably have adhd and i get #knocked off my ass with a migraine every ither fucking day but i still feel like i should be more prepared for this than i am #and im not prepared and im not ready and i cant get myself ready because i cant do things like this myself because i dont really want to be #doing them at all #like sure! the bitch can write a 400+ page fanfiction no fucking problem!! they can find time for that but a college essay?? even finding #schools to apply too???? dont be fucking ridiculous they cant even get half an app done in the time it takes them to write a two 6k chapters #delete later

[majorshatterandhare]

Thinking to myself “man it’s a good thing there nine mechanisms to project my disabilities onto, wouldn’t want people to think I’m headcanoning them to have an unrealistic amount of issues.” When it’s like, I have all these issues! And some people have way more comorbidities than me!

#the mechanisms #i don’t only hc my disabilties onto them #like the LM/MC. someone i am close with has that. not me #but still i project *mostly* issues i have or similar #like i definitely dont have ocd but i have enough similaries in symptoms and my anxiety has previously manifested with ocd tendencies #as well as anxiety driven delusions. that it makes sense to just. like. tick it up a bit more for the hc #obviously research is done re conditions i dont have #but also the words are easier that way #it *hard* to explain my symptoms that overlap and muddle with other disorders so it doesnt make sense to do so for a hc #not when im describing it for my own purposes and not typically if i were to be discussing it w #it with someone else #anyway its ivy. i think that makes sense #part of me also wants to headcanon her to be a hoarder #because i struggle with that #but i think shes a good archivist and those seem to be mutually exclusive #unless she is hoarding non library/archive things i suppose #this isn’t just about ocd this is about many many things #my body doesnt work right and it does so in ways people just Never Talk About…. #the point is that if i headcanoned one character to have all the same exact problems i do it would seem excessive #when its not its just my life #and again other people have way more comorbidies than me! #fun fact: all your body shit is connected to all your other body shit

[britneyshakespeare]

throughout the series of drake and josh it pretty consistently implies that josh nichols is a christian (josh peck is jewish) and in the finale of the series helen (played by yvette nicole brown, not jewish[?]) is portrayed as a practicing jew

#i dont have a problem w either of those things necessarily i just find it interesting #if i had to guess. drake and josh was a mainstream that didnt wanna touch on religion generally #but josh was kind of a dork and usually when josh's religious beliefs are implied it is in dorkish ways #such as praying and thanking the lord after he has his first kiss. #but since dan schneider is jewish perhaps he wanted to make helen have a jewish wedding in the finale? #not that there needs to be a reason. but u do notice occasional jewish-related jokes in d&j but none of them are what you could call #offensive. in good faith that is. 'eric is a pacifist' 'i thought he was jewish?' like come on #text post #i have been rewatching drake and josh recently and i have had so many thoughts #im almost done. i just have left that stupid dance episode that they premiered last for the stupid reason #of a special dance-themed premiere night in fall 2007. they premiered the third episode of icarly and a new zoey 101 on the same night #which i think is so stupid. they should've aired really big shrimp last. it messed w my understanding of the series at the time lol #i remember not really knowing that the show was ENDING. like i knew icarly was starting & miranda was doing that #i thought really big shrimp was like just another special like go hollywood. #and then like two days later they premiered the helicopter episode for some reason #and i was like why is drake not famous in this. he just had a number 1 song in a superbowl commercial #and then a month later the dance one. which. if anything is satisfying about that as a final episode it's just that #that unnamed girl from the blues brothers episode who is obsessed w drake shows up again and congratulates them #and the very final line of the series is 'who is she?' because. because really who IS she? #that's a funny enough throwback to wrap things up with i suppose #drake and josh wasn't a highly serialized show so i can see how they could air those after the intended finale and act like it didn't matte #but i have to tell you it did fuck with my brain a bit at the time. lol. i still think of those episodes as having 'happened' after #and on paramount plus those episodes are still placed after really big shrimp. the injustice #but thats kinda messy. what a weird way to end such an influential and popular sitcom #season 4 had a few lowpoints while still also having some VERY solid episodes. #idk. ill have to continue my series review another time im getting way too longwinded here #helen dubois is jewish

[risingsunresistance]

feels weird to not have much to post, i feel like i basically disappeared off social media compared to how i used to post but. there is simultaneously so much going on (things that are boring/heavy and not fun to post about) and nothing at all going on (i have not been able to play anything very much and havent been watching anything besides random documentaries i stumble across), leading to me having nothing to say lmao

i did finally write down a bunch of hypixel worldbuilding headcanon junk instead of having it only be word-of-mouth between me and ark lol. only 1700 words, i can do better 👍 it was literally only about admin magic, what exactly it means to "hack," what a server is, and limbo kjgfhk. i might make a big post about the limbo section one day :]

#things that arent worth having their own post bc it's boring normal life stuff #I LOVE MY JOB!!!!!!!!! i've only worked one day but i had a lot of fun #and i like my coworkers. im scared of tomorrow tho bc my manager who has been guiding me around isnt gonna be there #so second day in and im already on my own DFGHKJG it'll be fine......... #also I GOT MY DESK ORDERED LETS GOOOOOOOOOOO. SOON I WILL BE BACK ON THE GRIND I WANNA PLAY SKYBLOCK SO BAD #i've only been able to play on weekends or at ark's ;-; pain and suffering i need somewhere to sit #also fun fact. remember how the house was full of mold. well there was ALSO a gas leak for the past couple weeks #my existence is a miracle #im blaming all past behaviors on this. im normal now dont worry 👍👍👍 #i think i already mentioned this but my snes power cable is missing and i need a new one Pain And Suffering #on the brighter side of my old games. i found by gbc! AND THE BATTERIES STILL WORK SOMEHOW LMAO #i can finally do a miserable gen 2 shiny hunt yippeeeeee #trying to find my gameboy copy of tetris attack but i dont see it anywhere 😔 #uhhhh yeah that's about it i guess. been busy with sorting out work stuff and money problems and Everything Else #currently taking care of health stuff i havent done in years. time for dentist today wahoo #gonna try to get an eye exam soon. it's been like. a decade- #im not sure my vision is still 20/20 im having trouble reading some things digitally #billboards are fine. electronic ones are not those are just smudges #i dont know enough about eyes to know what that could be #chat