#i said i needed to reach out down life's throat and rip out the heart and then hold it in the palm of my hand | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rowretro · 3 months

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𝔹𝕠𝕪𝕗𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕟𝕕?

✧warnings: fluff, slut shaming, kissing

♡synopsis: The bad boy Riki, has fallen for a rather girly girl, the kind of girl that many girls wouldn't expect guys to fall for. Y/n in her stylish outfits which were always admired by all, had the attention of Riki, and that seemed tick certain girls off.

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Riki groaned as he saw you walk down the hallway. One would assume it's because of how much you dress up just to go to school, or the supermarket. That's not the reason. Fuck he loves it, your style, your creative, the fact that half your accessories, or very pretty clothes were made by you. He loves that you're like a fresh wave of energy that suddenly brings a dry, dead, withering flowers, to life again. Sometimes, though, the boys love your outfits, for all the wrong reasons.

"Y/n for fucksake pull your skirt down!" Riki said, audible enough for just you to hear, he pulled you to himself. His eyes scanning the pink, delicate shimmer on your eyelids, Pretty, spikey eyelashes that were perfectly stuck on, Oh and how could he forget those glossy, kissable lips? a few, tiny iridescent hearts evident. Pink bows decorating your braided hair. "but why? it looks cute when it's short" she said, it's not like she was ever going to need to bend, she can't anyway, not with the 5 inch heels her feet carry around all day.

"You want to know what your outfit is missing? a nice leather jacket. Here have mine." He said, as he dressed you in his large leather jacket, ignoring your protests. You looked adorable in such a big jacket. You had no problem with leather jackets either, but this one specific Riki jacket made you look ridiculous. But there were people who had a bigger problem with it. Hwang Mihi.

Hwang Mihi would be described as a conventionally attractive, powder faced bitch. From her ridiculously rolled up short skirt, cakey makeup, and extremely bitchy personality. The girl had a problem with everyone and everything, specifically you. She's heard more people praise you than they praise her, you have more followers than her, and overall, you have the man she wants. Nishimura Riki.

"Rikiiii please~ it'll look good on you I swear!" you whined as Riki frowned. "I'm not wearing lipstick!" the man whined as you whined again "It's not a lipstick! it's a lip gloss stick it's not like you'll turn in to barbie with one swipe, idols wear this you know?" you reasoned as he sighed, leaning into you face. With a smile, you carefully applied the creamy, lip gloss stick, his eyes locked on your focused face, the close proximity making his heart beat faster than Usain Bolt ever ran. It fucking pissed Mihi off.

"How the fuck does a pink barbie carbon copy like you have MY man?!" She yelled, yanking at your braided hair, her tug so tight you had to bite her wrist to get out of her hold. "UGH U PASTE FACED FUCKER- U RUINED MY BRAID!" you yelled as suddenly a different person slapped the shit out of you. You could've sworn your brain left your body then entered it again. your head hit the wall behind you painfully hard, but as you pulled away to even process the first slap, you were painfully pushed up against the wall, and there before you was a much bigger male.

"You're such a pussy! you can't fight me yourself so you're using some guy who's dick you sucked?!!!" she asked, clearly knowing the man was one of the seniors that she used to be fwb with. Just for that, the male slapped her again, chocking her. "It's that fucking tongue isn't it?! If I rip it out you'll stop talking right?" Mihi asked as you frowned. "I have another way to silence her..." the male said with a smirk, his grip on your throat tightening as he tried to place his lips on hers.

Before his lips could even reach her lips, The male fell back, some of his teeth knocked out, his mouth bloody. "The fuck are you doing to my girlfriend?!!!" Riki asked as y/n stared at him in shock, heck even the girls were shook, they were fucking scared, never has Mihi ever seen her crush so pissed off, it was fucking scary. "J-just uh..." "Just what?! beating my future wife?! do u want to be scalped and dipped into lemon juice?!!!" He asked cracking his knuckles as the girl stuttered and ran off with her minions.

Riki didn't even get the chance to check on you, as your horrified scream filled the hallways. "Fuck y/n how bad did he hurt you?" he asked, kneeling down before you as you stared at your forehand in horror "MY NAIL SNAPPED! SO LONG OF HARD WORK BROKE JUST LIKE THAT." she exclaimed as Riki stood up, sighing. "I'll take that as a yes" he mumbled.

"Girlfriend? Future wife? what was that about?" you asked staring up at him as he smiled "I guess you called call it my confession..." he said as you frowned "Try again" you said as Riki snickerred "Y/n... I love you, and I want to fucking show you that everyday, so give me a chance baby" he said as you blinked. She felt her own blush, he's perfect, everything she needed, but never did she think your dream man would love you.

"Hmm but what if I don't want to?" you teased. as Riki helped you up "My sister knows a great nail tech, she's expensive but worth the price, how bout you treat your pretty hands for some prettier nails, and I'll pay all the expenses?" he asked as the girl pouted. "You don't need to bribe me like that... let me do it instead." You said, then kissed his lips, his eyes widening in shock as you smiled. "Lets skip school im gonna treat you to the best shopping spree you'd ever experience." He said as his arm snaked around your waist.

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fuzybby · 3 months

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Baby Fever

Halsin x F!Reader

Synopsis: Halsin wants a baby with you so bad, and who are you to deny him?

CW: BREEDING!!!, the word daddy is used once, rough-ish sex, lovey dovey shit

Life after the Elder Brain was strange in the way that it was comfortable. Instead of going back to your old life, the one you had before you were forced onto the Nautiloid ship, you decided to follow the love of your life. Halsin.

You went with him to go look after the bundle of kids whose parents had passed from the attack. Thaniels realm, otherwise used to be known as the Shadowcursed Lands, looks much better than when you left it. Now that the curse was lifted, the lands were no longer drenched in shadows and fog.

There were, however, many little feet running around the sanctuary you had made. There were a few little cabins for some of the kids to sleep, along with you and Halsin having one for yourself. Outside the cabins, tents and campfires were set up everywhere. Some of the kids enjoyed sleeping outdoors, saying that it brought them comfort to sleep under the stars.

As you tucked the final kid into their bed in one of the cabins, you tried to exit as quietly as you coud. When you came to be outside, Halsin stood next to your own cabin door, waiting for you to come to bed.

You chuckled to yourself as you stepped around the tents and the kids personal belongings, walking to your cabin. Halsins eyes fell onto the way your body moved, smiling to himself as he wondered how he got so lucky.

“Surprised you're not already in bed.” You joked in a whisper once you were close enough for your giant lover to hear.

Halsin opened the door and let you step inside first, before following and closing the door. He swiftly locked it behind him. “I wanted to talk to you about something.” He responded, the grin never leaving his face.

“Mhm?” You stepped over to your dresser, pulling out a tanktop and some shorts to sleep in. Halsin came up quickly next to you and put your clothes back into the drawer.

“I want a baby.” Halsin said. He was blunt, it was something you loved about him. Always getting to the point.

“We already have, like, twelve children.” You chuckled awkwardly, trying to pull your clothes back out of the drawers.

He was quick to put them back into the drawer, and even closed it too. “I want another one. Made from both of us.”

“Halsin..” You started, looking up into his eyes. It was something you had talked about before, being a mother wasn’t not off the table, you just didn’t expect it to be so soon. You loved the little ones you were taking care of. Adding another was definitely something that you wanted.

Without a second beat, Halsin smirked. “This also means I could fuck my cum into you every night, multiple times a night, until your pregnant.”

Your breath caught in your throat. Halsin had always asked to cum inside you, and there were only a few times you had agreed to it. He was always so sweet about making a day after potion for you, even if he was sad it wasn’t time yet. But now, he wanted it to be time. And so did you.

“Yeah..” Is all you could say, a big goofy smile plastered on your face. “Yeah.”

“On the bed, my heart. Let me grab the bottle.” Halsin said, the same kind of goofy grin on his face too. You didn’t think twice, immediately jumping into bed. You debated if you should take off your clothes, knowing Halsin would rip them off and most likely tear them.

Before you could really get your hands even on your clothes, Halsin returned next to the bed with a bottle of lube. Handmade by him, of course.

“I don’t understand why we still need that stuff. I take you just fine.” You sighed, looking up at your elf with puppy eyes.

“Sweetheart, it takes me almost an hour to prep you properly. And I don’t feel like waiting tonight. It’s necessary.” Halsin laughs, moving down to press a kiss to your lips. His lips are soft, and both of your tongues move to reach each others. It’s messy as much as it is passionate, and yet it doesn’t last long.

He pulls away and moves to sit on his knees in front of you on the bed. Hiking his hands up your shirt to cup your breasts. His hands are rough and large, but he touches you like you're made of glass. This is his pattern, be extremely gentle with you at the start to rile you up before he completely ravages you for all you are.

He takes his time, pulling off your shirt slowly so he can admire your entire torso. He presses the faintest of kisses against the skin of your breasts, sucking a nipple into his mouth. His teeth just barely graze your pointed tip, his tongue working in circles to swirl around your entire areola. Before long, he switches to the other nipple, continuing the same ministrations on that breast instead.

He works slowly down your body, too slowly for your tastes, and you're tempted to beg him to hurry. Halsin hooks his pointer fingers into the waistband of your pants, quickly pulling them down along with your underwear. Throwing them into the corner of the room.

“Fuck,” Halsin growled, grabbing the backs of your knees to spread you open. “I love you.”

“I love you t-” You go to reply, but before you can even finish the sentence, Halsin licks a strip up your cunt. Swirling his tongue around your clit, much like he did with your tits. He moans into your heat, trying to bury his face as much as he can into you.

It felt glorious, his tongue was so warm against you, and so soft. It felt like fucking heaven. You moaned loudly, and had to cover your mouth to not disturb anyone outside. You could feel your wetness travel down onto the bed, or maybe it was some of Halsins saliva? Who knows.

Your legs shook, but his hold on them made it so your whole body spasmed instead. Arching your back up into the sky in hopes his tongue would reach deeper. Travel inside of you and ignite a flame of ecstasy.

You could feel a sweat break out against your skin, and suddenly everything in the room became too hot. Your body felt on fire as your lover devoured you.

“Almost..” You moan out, moving your hand down to hold onto his hair. You didn’t tug, holding it merely to try and keep you grounded.

Halsin didn't stop, instead opting to suck and focus on your clit as he entered a finger into you. It didn’t take too long for him to enter a second one, and then a third. You were wet enough for them to slide in easily. The feeling of being so full set you on edge, and you suddenly came with a cry. Your body shook, and you gripped both the sheets and Halsins hair in a death grip.

Halsin relented and pulled away, a line of his saliva stayed connected from his lips to your clit. He pulled his fingers out of you slowly, immediately putting them into his mouth to clean them off.

“Grab me the bottle my love.” Halsin huffed once he finished sucking on his fingers. You stretched your arm above your head to grab the bottle of home-made lube, and tossed it to your lover.

Halsin grabbed it and set it down on the bed next to him, it was now his turn to strip. Throwing off his shirt and trousers quickly. His cock sprang out of his pants and smacked against his abdomen. He was a big man, in all ways possible. He grabbed the bottle again and poured the smallest amount on his hand, and gave his cock a few pumps in order to coat himself.

He then drizzled a small amount onto your mound, and it made you jump as the cold liquid met your clit. He made sure to rub it everywhere, but made sure the most to finger you a little bit more while his hands were coated in it.

“Ready?” The giant had asked you, and you nodded.

He positioned himself first, pushing in only slightly so just the top of the tip was inside before he moved his body to hang above you. His free hand now came to grab the sheets next to your head for stability.

And then he started to push in more.

The first few times you ever had sex with Halsin, it took a while. Back and forth between trying to enter you and making you cum on his fingers. He never wanted to hurt you, and continuously tried to stretch you open enough on his fingers so that you could take him fully.

Now that you were more experienced with his size, it was easier to take him. But, that doesn't mean sometimes it didn't hurt.

The initial stretch is the worst, no matter how much prep work is done it'll still never be quite enough. But you always enjoyed the small thing of pain. Enjoying the way you hugged his walls, silently asking for him to never leave the warm space between your legs.

And god, the look on his face was everything. The scrunch of his brow, the way he wanted to bare his teeth like an animal, the moan he lets out when he first comes into contact with your warmth. It’s absolutely divine.

His hand that was holding his cock now comes to hold your face. He is so close to you, you could purse your lips and reach his own.

“Fuck, you feel good.” The druid growls, his mouth stays open in a silent moan.

Before long, he finally is able to push in all the way to the hilt. You can feel his heavy balls rest against your ass. You could probably feel them twitch if you concentrated hard enough.

“Fuck me already.” You beg, moving your hands to hold his thighs. Your fingers knees into his flesh, hoping to guide him to move.

Halsin smirks. “You know I love it when you beg.”

He doesn't wait a second more before he starts moving. He doesn't start with a slow or gentle pace, it's straight to rough and hard. The sound of skin hitting skin is all that can be heard from the room.

Whimpers and whines leave both of your lips, not wanting to be any louder in case to wake anyone nearby.

You felt so incredibly full, only for that fullness to leave momentarily and then come back full force inside you. Everything felt beyond amazing, your lover always knowing how to fuck you good.

You never relented on your hold on him, wanting to make sure he never pulled out.

Your sweat hadn't let up either, and everything around you was wet. The skin from your elf had the same sweat on him too.

Your brain had started to turn off, consistent quiet rambles fell from your lips. “Fuck a baby into me daddy!” and “I love you so much!” were one of the few sentences that Halsin could make out.

Halsin quickly grabbed onto the headboard as he pounded you, now not so close to your face either. His arm flexed as he held onto the piece of wood. The bed frame that he made with his own two hands now felt like it was going to snap and break from his constant thrusting.

“M’ gonna cum,” He moaned. The hair on his forehead bounced against the movements he was making.

“Inside!” You squealed, moving your hands to grab onto his lower back, intent to make sure he didn't pull out last minute.

Halsin smirked for the final time that night, “That's my girl.” He said quietly into your ear before slamming into you one final time.

The force of his orgasm caused your own cord to snap too, feeling his seed drench your walls as your own ecstasy covered his lower abdomen.

You both lay there for a minute, taking a breather. Watching one another with that same goofy grin on each other's faces.

“Melody if it's a girl.” Halsin said breathlessly, moving his body to lay on top of you, never pulling out.

“We're gonna make a list.” You laughed, holding him close to you. You felt hot as he lay against you, possibly almost too hot. “I need a cold bath.”

“Me too.” The giant agreed. “I can get one started for us.”

“Sounds lovely” You hummed, running your fingers through his hair. “Maybe have another round while we bathe?” You joked.

“Don't threaten me with a good time.” Halsin laughed.

Neither of you moved just then, continuing to stay there together. Entangled in eachothers arms as you both relax, hoping to Silvanus that no one woke up from the sound of you two lovebirds.

#bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #halsin x reader smut #halsin x reader #baldurs gate halsin #halsin smut #halsin #bg3 halsin #bg3 fic #bg3 smut #baldur's gate 3

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natalievoncatte · 1 month

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Kara knew something was wrong from Lena’s heartbeat. That alone, the barely detectable change in rhythm and tempo, was enough, but her breathing was erratic and as Kara drew nearer, drifting through the afternoon air, she could hear the soft sobs.

A bad feeling had come over Kara. Things had been quiet between the two of them ever since the wedding; there had been a strange tension between them on that happy day and Kara couldn’t say why

(she knew what she wanted it to be but didn’t dare hope)

and with Alex and Kelly away on their honeymoon, Kara had mostly been on her own. Nia was spending most of her free time with Brainy and Kara sensed a proposal coming, and she was busy preparing for her public interview with Cat Grant. She was going to rip the bandages off and reveal her identity. There was a great deal of work involved, and Kara had spent a lot of time fretting over the details, and in the back of her head she was worried about the ramifications of years spent reporting on Supergirl and using “her” as a source. It was a massive ethical dilemma, and thought it always made sense at the time…

Right now all that mattered was the heartbeat. Kara had been giving Lena the space she sensed she needed, but Jess had called Kara from the Foundation and told her that Lena hadn’t come to work in three days, and no one had heard from her. It was uncharacteristic of someone who ran her life with almost military precision. Kara had even asked Alex to text Lena, but they’d gotten the same single word replies.

Kara pulled in a big breath, feeling her stomach churn as she lighted on the balcony and slid open the door, knowing it would be unlocked. She wished Lena would stop doing that, but also felt a little tilt in her chest from knowing Lena hadn’t locked her out.

She was on the sofa, curled up on her side and asleep. She’d probably had the same pajamas on for two days and there were empty bottles of wine in a neat row on the table in front of her. Her eyes were puffy from crying and her cheeks a little raw. Kara felt an instant pang and reached for her, before stopping to deactivate her suit.

Kneeling next to the sofa, Kara touched her fingers to Lena’s shoulders. Lena woke instantly with a start, head jolting up as she sucked in a reedy breath and her heart raced explosively, sending a shock of terror up Kara’s spine.

“Oh fuck,” Lena blurted, kicking out her legs as she bolted upright. “Oh God, Kara what…”

“Hey,” Kara said softly. “I was… I’m sorry. Are you okay? I came in through the balcony. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Lena’s chest heaved as she gasped for breath, staring at Kara with watery eyes. “Are you real?”

“What? Yes, of course I’m real.”

“I must have been dreaming. It was a dream. Just a dream. I was dreaming,” Lena muttered.

Kara rose from her knees and sat down on the couch.

“Come here.”

Lena almost crashed into her, wrapping her arms tightly around Kara and squeezing hard. She smoothed her fingers over the soft dark waves of Lena’s hair and pulled her in as she began to sob into Kara’s shoulder.

“I dreamed he killed you,” Lena choked out. “He came back again and he killed you and I couldn’t stop it. It felt so real.”

“I’m fine. I’m right here.”

Lena continued to sob, her entire body shaking with the force of it. Kara wrapped her in a fierce hug, trembling as she did.

“Every time I close my eyes he’s there, and when I’m awake all I can think about is that I killed my brother.”

“That didn’t happen in this timeline.”

Lena choked out an angry, frustrated sob. “It happened for me. I aimed a gun at my own brother’s chest and I pulled the trigger. And he came back! He came back and he almost killed you two or three fucking times, I can’t count.”

“He’s gone. He’s not coming back.”

“You can’t just say that!” Lena screamed into Kara’s throat.

Stunned, Kara softened her grip on Lena, only for Lena to pull her in harder, like she was trying to climb inside her.

“Why can’t I stop mourning him? He ruined my life. He was the person I trusted most and he turned out to be a monster. He used me my whole life and my emotions were just a game to him. He tried to to kill the woman I… tortured you, took you away for months and I thought I’d never see you again. I just wanted to tell you how sorry I was and how much…”

Lena cut herself off with a sob.

“I know it’s not the same,” Kara murmured, “but when I was a little girl I worshipped my father. I wanted to grow up like him and do what he did. I was going to be a scientist too.”

“You’d have been a good one.”

Kara shook her head. “My father was responsible for the Medusa virus. A bioweapon designed to eradicate non-Kryptonian life. A weapon of genocide.”

Lena shuddered.

Kara swallowed, hard.

“My world wasn’t a paradise. It felt that way because it was simple for me. There wasn’t all the pain of learning alien ways and an alien language and controlling superpowers and everything else. My father taught and protected me and my mom maintained order. But it was wasn’t a paradise. My people were… Krypton was… I think in a lot of worlds out there, we were the bad guys. Okay, the Daxamites were slavers, but on Krypton people were born into the labor guild and did menial jobs their whole lives, while people like me were born into privilege. Is that much better?”

“I don’t understand.”

“I don’t judge you for mourning Lex, Lena. He was your protector and your friend, and it was real to you. If there’s anything I hate him for, it’s hurting you.” Kara swallowed. “The one thing I can’t abide is anyone hurting you. I’ll break all my rules to keep you safe.”

Lena’s breathing eased and Kara could feel her relax.

“I’ve been avoiding you.”

“I figured you needed space. I wasn’t sure why but I trusted you to tell me if you need to.”

There was a long, heavy pause, and then Lena said.

“Kara, I can’t do this. I can’t share you.”

“Share me?”

“When you reveal your identity,” Lena pulled back, “you’re going to be the most famous person in the word. Everyone is going to be all over you. The press, politicians, everybody, and everyone who has a grudge against you or your cousin is going to know exactly where to find you, all the time.”

“I’ll keep you safe, no one will…”

“I didn’t say anything about me. You, Kara. What about you?”

“I’m Supergirl. I’ll be fine.”

“And what about me?” said Lena.

“I told you…”

“No. What about me when I have to watch you getting beaten to a pulp by another alien? What about me when you’re in a coma on the sun bed? What about me when I see on the news that a bomb went off in your apartment and I have to wonder if it was laced with Kryptonite shrapnel? I’m not worried about people coming after me. I’m a billionaire with magic powers. I could put on a goofy costume and join the club if I wanted. I’ve already lost you so many times and I can’t do it again.”

Stunned, Kara sat with her eyes wide, not sure when exactly she’d lifted Lena into her lap.

“It’s so selfish of me,” Lena went on. “You don’t belong to me. I don’t get to make demands of you. But don’t want you to out yourself. I don’t want to lose you again. As soon as you do this you’re going to be hounded by the whole world and they’ll claw you away from me again.”

Kara’s own heart raced now, hammering in her chest. Lena sounded so desperate and so sure, clinging to a Kara like she might disappear.

“I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay. It’s your choice and I have to respect it. It’s okay,” she was clearly telling herself.

“No,” Kara choked out, “no it’s not. I can’t believe how stupid I’ve been.”

“Kara,” said Lena.

“No. I have been. I can’t believe I said what I said to you at the wedding, about not being my authentic self. To you, of all people.”

Lena swallowed hard. Kara drew back and looked at her, really looked at her, drinking in the soft beauty of her eyes as she swept back a tear with a brush of her thumb. Lena’s eyes were huge, her lips trembling, and Kara felt an almost painful pang of sorrow and regret and a powerful stirring, long thrust down and buried and now clawing its way forth as Lena stared back, the deep sadness and loss in her own eyes tinged by a hint of forlorn hope.

“I can’t believe that I can see through walls and I’m so blind.”

“Kara?” Lena whispered.

“I’m calling it off. I’ll keep my secret.”

“You don’t have to do that just to please me.”

“I don’t need them. I need you. I’m yours, if you’ll have me.”

Lena’s heart raced so fast that Kara briefly thought she might have to fly her to the hospital. Instinctively, she slipped one arm under her knees and the other around her shoulders and stood, lifting Lena as if she weighed nothing.

Eyes wide, Lena bit her lip.

“What do you mean?”

“What do you mean when you say you’re mine? I need you to say it, Kara. I was too scared at the wedding. I can’t do this. I need you to.”

Oh.

Kara shifted her Lena’s weight in her arms, bring them closer together. She’d danced this dance before; she thought of the day she came back from the Phantom Zone, when she held Lena in her arms and felt the sun again and she almost did it, she almost just fucking did it…

And she did it.

She kissed Lena, already ready to sputter an apology and find a way out of this, but her words were lost when Lena’s soft lips met hers and Lena was ready to devour her, happily rocketing past chaste first kiss as she grabbed Kara with both hands and pulled her in.

Kara’s stomach flipped. She didn’t know what to do. She’d been kissed, she thought she’d been intimate, but she could see now that those things had been mere stimulation and nothing more. Something soared inside her as she had soared in the sky the very first time she flew. Joy unbridled swelled in her chest and she could feel Lena laughing exultantly into her mouth and even as tears mingled on her cheeks.

She wanted this. She wanted this. It was right here all along.

“Kara,” Lena whispered. “I…”

“Should I put you down?”

“On the bed.”

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midnightarcheress · 1 month

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you panic.

pairing: bodyguard!ghost x actress!reader cw: reader's pov. panic attack, simon in protective mode, hurt/comfort ig? 6 | gold rush masterlist.

you couldn’t breathe. the room seemed small, walls closing in and trapping your limp figure inside of an endless nightmare, compressing your lungs until no air reached your alveolus. the mirror reflected the terror stamped on your face, bloodshot eyes staring at the terrifying warning that froze your blood flow and the trembling hands clutching to your arms, wrapping your torso like a straightjacket, desperately trying to pressure your body into disappearing from that reality.

up to this point, you’ve managed to control your fear. shove your worries aside, trust that nothing would trespass your walls and infinite security measures, promise yourself that it would never infest your brain, but that was the last straw. it was your home. you weren’t safe anywhere and it was just a matter of time until you’d be ripped to shreds in your own garden, crimson painting the destroyed flower beds and a golden crown placed on your head like a perfect corpse-bride.

your knees dropped to the frigid floor with a thud, dreadful mist clouding your vision as tears rolled down your cheeks. you couldn’t think, you couldn’t speak, and the alcohol in your veins only managed to heighten the panic. your soul was floating out of your form, knocking on the bars of the prison, looking for a way out of the ordeal and hoping that it was just a hallucination. the loud thumps of your heart ringed in your ears, muffling Ghost’s attempts to get your attention.

the knot in your throat kept tightening, constricting your vocal cords until the only sounds that could be heard were your strained sobs. being in your own skin was overwhelming and you’d give it all to escape the well you were stranded in, but the water was rising quickly, covering your head and drowning any attempt at tranquillity.

“hey, i’m here,” Ghost said, trying to coax you back to the present, “just focus on my voice, can you take a deep breath for me?”

your dilated pupils take the sight of him crouched on the floor and follow the movement of his chest, letting his low timbre pierce your eardrum and soothe your heartbeat. you mimic him, feeling the crisp air cursing through your nostrils, down your trachea and bronchi, finally having enough oxygen in your system.

“can i touch you?” he asks, and you notice the concern behind his hazel irises. you can’t ignore the shame that came with your panicked state, breaking down in front of someone you barely know and who must’ve endured so much worse in his life. you hate feeling weak, frail, like you’d crumble by just one look, but you need comfort. need it so badly that you nod, allowing him to take your quivering hand in his.

his grip is firm, and despite the roughness of his palm, the touch is delicate, tender, enveloping you in gentle heat. you melt in his arms, pitiful sobs leaving your lips when you turn in nothing more than putty in that moment. “shh, i got you, everything will be alright,” he coos, doing his best to calm you, but you couldn’t believe him.

how could everything be alright? the last ounce of safety you had was just taken from you. “it’s my– it’s my home, Ghost,” you stutter, lifting your head to look at him, “i’m not safe in my own home anymore, i can’t–” another wave of tears flood your waterline, and you stop before finishing your sentence. the anxiety was still bubbling in your stomach, it was still too much to handle at once.

“i know, love, i’ll get you out of here, trust me. nothing will harm you. now just breathe, okay? slow and steady.” his tone is light, almost ethereal, but unmistakably determined. it sounded more than just a phrase to pacify you. it was a promise. a vow. one made with his whole heart and he wouldn’t die before making sure you’re safe.

it takes a while before your brain settles back, slipping out of the hysteria. Ghost lifts you to your feet, taking a step back to give you some space. you sense him studying your expressions, wanting a hint of how to proceed. “what do you need?” he questions softly.

what do i need? the query lingers on your mind while he gazes at you. you're not sure. you never had an attack like this, never had an emotional collapse, never needed so much comfort. “i... don't know,” you gulp, glancing around the room and viewing the bathroom door, “i guess i could go for, uhm, a bath? it might help, right?”

he nods, pacing past you and walking through the door. you faintly hear the running water filling the bathtub and you strip off your heels, your clothes, let your hair fall down and your skin feel the cool air of the room. you shiver, but the tingling of the cold reminds you that you’re still alive, so there’s still a flimsy hope of peace in your future.

you put on a robe and head to the bathroom, tip-toeing on the chilling tiles. Ghost moves to the exit, allowing you privacy in your vulnerable state, but your meek request makes him freeze on the spot. “can you... stay?” you sigh, “i’m scared of being alone right now.”

he pauses, not knowing how to answer, and you shift your weight from one leg to another, fingers fidgeting with the fluffy belt that holds your covering in place, regretting even asking for such a thing. “sure.” he clears his throat, taking a seat in the tiny wooden ottoman in the corner. the image is quite comical, the bulky man slowly leaning down to the stool as if one glance from him would crack the material, and a timid chuckle escapes your mouth.

his face turns to the side when you undo the knot of your robe and you feel the heat coming to your cheeks when you come to your senses. what the fuck did i ask? you’re bare, slipping into the warm water that was supposed to relieve your anxious mood, but that mainly swells your chest with embarrassment.

you don’t know if you should be grateful that he’s not making a big deal of it, or sink in the tub due to the quiet – too quiet – atmosphere. Ghost is nothing but a gentleman at that moment, maintaining his head down and eyes away from your blurred naked body, so different from every man you’ve been near. they all seem to think that because you’re known, famous, whatever, you’re merely a doll on display for public use. it’s nice to not feel like an object.

after a long hour of letting the water purge your anguishes, you find yourself draped on a blanket on the sofa, sipping on a cup of chamomile tea that he, so heartily, prepared. he’s on the phone in the next room, and you don’t want to pry, but your ears unconsciously perk up to catch some of his words. he’s talking to someone named Price? something about a safe house?

a few minutes later, he’s back, sitting on the coffee table in front of you. “so, we’re gonna move,” your brows raised, confused by his statement, “talked to an old friend and i got you a safe place, you can stay there as long as you need, the bastard won’t find you. and i’ll be there with you all the time, okay?” he’s gonna stay with me?

rationally, you know it’s a good idea. you don’t feel protected in your house anymore, and having him constantly by your side would probably give your heart a rest and unburden your shoulders. but moving is a big thing for a life so regulated. “Dan–”

“i’ll talk to him tomorrow, don’t worry,” he assures, putting a hand on your knee and giving you a small smile. your vision was so hazy before that you didn’t even notice that he had his mask down, and you find yourself musing on the curve of his lips.

“thank you, Ghost.”

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facefartstories · 2 months

Text

Stranded Fart Tank

They were on a mission on enemy soil. Jeremy accidentally fucked up the tank and soon, he and Seth were stranded in the desert heat completely visible to any enemy awaiting to attack."Fuck you faggot! You don't know how to drive a tank?!" Seth scolded. Jeremy was a bit taken aback by the faggot comment... he never came out as gay to his fellow soldiers. "I... I'm sorry... I was dozing off... I shouldn't have gotten us stuck." Jeremy apologized. "You wanna be forgiven faggot?! Fuck, keep your face in my ass... all we need is for all this gas I'm holding in to spread into the desert and alert the others that we're out here... fuck... you probably just got us killed." Seth propped his legs on the dashboard and spread his legs. Jeremy took a deep breath as he pressed his face right up against Seth's crotch. "It stinks down there don't it? "Seth whispered. "Yes it does" Jeremy inhaled and sniffed to his hearts content. BBBRRRMMPPH!"Haha, fuckin hell, sniff THAT up." Seth reached down to press his partner's face tighter against his ass. Jeremy's eyes began to water as the gas burned his throat and lungs. He had never smelled gas so foul in his life."Ugh! What did you eat?!" Jeremy whined. "None of your fucking business...I said sniff." Seth was going to blast Jeremy's face with farts until Jeremy passed out. FFFBBBBBRT! "How much gas do you have?" Jeremy coughed. "Quiet... they'll hear you... in fact I should probably make these quieter..."Seth tensed up and the air rushed silently out of his ass and into Jeremy's face. "Fuck Seth... you smell like you fucking shit your pants." Jeremy cried into Seth's crotch. BBRRMBT! "I probably could... I probably did... this fucking desert heat is tearing my stomach the fuck up..." Seth was rather distant. He had no reason for conversation. The only thing Jeremy was going to do was keep his face between Seth's legs, and pray that the next fart would knock him out cold for a while. Minutes turned into hours, and hours turned into days. Seth had yet to run out of gas. Jeremy was still pressed tightly against Seth's crotch and his tears welling in his eyes from the rancid stench that he was absorbing into Seth's crotch, only making his farts smell worse. BBBRRRRPPPPPPMMMMMMPPHHH!!!"Oh god! Please Seth! It stinks so bad!" Jeremy whimpered between Seth's legs. "Just sniff it faggot. Smell my fucking wrath." Seth squeezed his thighs together, trapping Jeremy's head into his crotch and squeezing as tight as possible. The next fart absolutely destroyed Jeremy. BBBBRRRRRRRBBBBBMMMPPPHHRT! "OH yeah..." Seth felt so much relief after that blast. Jeremy's cock had started oozing cum. His face continually blasted by more stinky gas from Seth, he passed out in the heat of the desert, hoping they'd be rescued soon. Jeremy awoke in a hospital bed on the other end of the battlefield. He was being treated for dehydration. Seth was sitting right next to him. When Seth saw Jeremy had awoke... he stood up, and walked towards his comrade."Well well well, if it isn't the fart boy..." Seth stared blankly. "What... what do you want?! How can I settle this?!" Jeremy was scared. Seth hopped up onto Jeremy's bed and sat right on his cock, and ripped one. FFFFRRRRBBBBBBRRRMMMMPH!!! Jeremy's eyes rolled to the back of his head as in seconds, Seth's latest fart made him cum his pants again. Seth smirked from Jeremy's reaction. "Dehydration. I'd like to think my hot steamy gas dried you the fuck out. Don't worry... I got more in the tank. Plenty more. An infinite supply."More... farts?!" Jeremy shook a bit. FFFRRRPPPPFFFF! "Oh yeah... and since your fucking cock tents up every time I bust ass, that just proves what a fucking fart fag you really are... and unless you want me to tell the boys, you best get that sniffer of yours ready whenever I gotta fart to fucking blast... got it, boy?"Jeremy looked into Seth's eyes and nodded... it was going to be a pretty stinky eight more months.

Let me know what you guys think In the chat below.

#fart tank #eproctophilia #male farts #military men farts #military farts #gay military fart stories #face fart story #fart story #fart kink #eprocto

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fieldofdaisiies · 2 months

Text

Whisper of the Forgotten | pt. 6

pairing: azriel x reader | type: angst | words: 2k words | warnings: mentions of torture, descriptions of torture | masterlist

Your heart is pounding rapidly, hammering against your ribcage. Cold sweat breaks out at the back of your neck and you step out of your hiding place when you hear the knock once again. A cold shiver curls around your spine, but a kernel of hope blooms within your chest.

This must be your mate – he has come to save you.

“Azriel, is this you?” you ask, but receive no answer from the darkness. Later you learn that this was a fateful question, because it gave away your location – your hiding spot.

After the question is asked, everything happens too fast, one moment you question your lover’s arrival, the next moment the door is slammed open, and broad hands grab you, many male voices sounding around you. "Who are you expecting, Bloody Baroness?" A voice sneers, dripping with venom. "You thought you could hide from us?”

Your vision is covered by a black sheet and you are dragged somewhere. Somewhere where it is a lot colder than in your hiding place, a cool wind wiping against your shivering body, the thin nightgown not shielding you from it.

And then–

An icy chill cascades down your spine when your nightgown is ripped open and a cry dies down in your throat when the first lash lands upon your back. Many follow, icy, sharp pain erupting on your back, until you feel nothing anymore. No pain, no cold, you only feel numb. Dead.

As you lay there, battered and broken, the echo of your own voice reverberates in your mind, "Azriel, is this you?" The question hangs in the air like a curse, haunting you. It had given you away.

Your world quickly becomes a blur of pain and terror, and hopelessness makes you feel sick. Azriel won’t come. He won’t rescue you.

He won’t–

But hope sparks to life because he truly arrives, you hear his boots, his voice and feel his presence, the bond calling to him. Relief blossoms rapidly, only to be extinguished a moment later when things only get worse...

Azriel is crying by the time your fingertips slide out of his neck, dripping with blood, but the wounds seal quickly. His chest is heaving with deep, ragged sobs.

“Y/N,” his voice is full of pain, of regret when he speaks your name. His scarred digits brush over your face, catching the burning tears that escape your eyes.

“I didn’t mean for any of that to happen,” he breathes, voice hoarse. His other hand comes up, resting against the side of your neck. “I only put you in the Prison to protect you.”

Confusion coats your insides and you shudder. Tipping your head back you look into his eyes, Azriel’s head slightly bowed.

“To protect me? From what? I doubt anything could have been worse than this hell.”

His hands tremble, shadows reaching out, caressing your skin in soothing motions.

“He wanted you dead.” Azriel’s gaze drops. “Rhysand’s father. It was the only way to protect you. He said the Prison or your head - I chose your life, Y/N.”

You tremble so hard at the revelation you need to hold onto Azriel to not fall, your whole body shaking.

All these years, all these centuries, you believed Azriel to have betrayed you. But he only wanted to save your life. Every emotion you could feel in this moment washes over you, drowning you under gigantic waves of shock and relief.

You start to sob and thrash your hands against the shadowsinger‘s hard chest. “Why didn’t you tell me? Why couldn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you tell me back then?”

Azriel’s scarred hands curl around your wrists and he pulls you to his chest, ignoring the claws. “I couldn’t. You would have fought him. There would have been no other way to save you.”

Your whole body is shaking, so hard you convulse and threaten to slump onto the ground but Azriel catches you.

He holds your arms tightly, and his head drops. “I couldn’t risk it. I could have never risked it. There would have always been people who sought after your life.” Azriel exhales a long breath that fans your face. “First Rhys‘ father, Tamlin‘s father. Later Hybern. Then Amaranth and Hybern.”

“All those years, Azriel,” you breathe through your tears. “You never came. You never checked on me. You could have come to me. See how I was doing. You could have explained yourself.”

“I was a coward. I thought you wouldn’t forgive me. And seeing you and not being able to free you…I couldn’t do that. Not to myself, not to you.” His tears now also wet your skin and you exhale a shuddering breath. “I couldn’t bring myself to go there only to tell you that there is no way to free you.”

“But to see if I am doing alright. You could have asked Rhys–”

“I tried everything, Y/N!” he almost shouts. “I tried to find a damn way to free you, but the books said nothing. I even looked in Helion’s –the High Lord of the Day Court– library, but nothing.”

You close your eyes, swallowing a sob. “I wanted to free you…but I couldn’t find a way to do it.”

He swallows thickly and the shadows curl tightly around him. “Nesta‘s harp - part of the Dead Trove. It was only possible through it. Freeing you was only possible through it. This was the solution I have been looking for for centuries. When Nesta found it and we knew what we could do with it, I knew what I would use it for. I just had to wait for the right moment.”

You lean your weight against him, the pain and anger having formed over centuries not yet dissipating.

“You didn’t forget about me when I was there?”

“Not for one moment.” Azriel brushes his scarred thumb over your damp cheek. “I‘ve thought about you every day of my life, but I could free you. It wasn’t possible and it slowly destroyed me.”

It destroyed him…Memories of the moldy cell, the screams, and then the deafening silence fill your mind. You see yourself, looking down on you, the open wounds, the scars, the blood and everything inside you coils. You let him close, despite never wanting to allow it again. You were vulnerable, he caught you in this moment and took advantage of it.

Azriel wants to lean in to kiss your cheek, but you straighten your posture and shove at his chest. “I can’t do this. I can’t…I just can’t.”

With rather quick steps you move away from him, eyes clouded with tears, mind hazy with anger and disappointment.

“Leave!”

“Y/N,” Aziel pleads, “please, forgive me.”

“Leave!” A sob crashes into your ragged breathing and you wrap your arms around your naked body. “Leave! Leave me alone. Leave me alone like you left me back then.”

You may understand now why there was no other option but putting you into the Prison but that doesn’t mean you forgive him for never visiting you. For hurting you so much and never offering an explanation, or an apology. Never checking in on you if you were doing alright.

Slowly, and even without the amulet, your power manifests, flames of silver and cobalt, forming at your hands slowly sliding towards him, the flames of black and cobalt fire increasing, growing. It is fear that often feeds your powers, negative emotions, panic, and horror and it makes you stronger.

“Alright,” he whispers. “I will leave you. I am going on a mission to the continent, you won’t see me for a while.”

“Get out!” you shout again, ignoring what he is saying. Azriel truly follows your orders, his chin dropping to his chest, wings dragging over the ground, shoulders dropping. But he leaves, leaves you alone and another scream parts your dry lips. “Asshole!”

───── ⋆⋅ ☽☾ ⋅⋆ ─────

“We never properly met back then, did we?”

You quickly wipe the back of your hand over your tear streaked cheek. Then you turn to the High Lord and shake your head.

“But you knew me.”

“I did, but I didn’t know that there was something between Azriel and you.”

You huff, and give your head a little shake. Apparently, you weren’t even worth mentioning.

“Azriel told me…everything.” Rhysand pulls out a chair and sits down before you can stop him. “Now, he told me everything. Neither Cassian nor I knew about you back then, but I know one person that did.”

“Your sister.” You snivel.

Rhysand nods slowly. “She died after the war.” He turns to you and meets your eyes, his own filled with nothing but pain and nostalgia. “She was very fond of you, you were one of her closest friends.”

You smile at the memories that fill your mind, and a single tear slips down your cheek.

“When you were gone…our father told us that you had to leave. To the continent. It is what he also forced Azriel to say. He made him lie.”

You give the High Lord no answer, because what is there to say. Oh poor Azriel…how he must have suffered... Internally your eyes roll.

“He would have tried to save you if he had a chance.”

You shake your head at that and close the book, shoving it away. “No, he wouldn’t.”

“Yes, Y/N, he would. I can see his regret, I can also feel it. And the moment we found out what the Harp is capable of, Azriel seemed happier, like a sudden sense of hope had filled him. He didn’t reveal the reason for it, but we could all feel that there was something.”

You want to believe that. You so desperately want to believe that, him. It heals a small part of your heart, but it still doesn’t make the pain over him not once visiting you any better.

“He could have saved me when he found the Harp and not wait until you needed my help.”

You hold the High Lord’s gaze. “A lot was going on at that time and we needed the Harp. I think Azriel wanted to wait for the right moment.”

“The right moment when you needed my help,” you snap and snatch another book, opening it with so much force the binding hits the table with a loud thump. “Are you only here to tell me how amazing your best friend is and that I should forgive him. Because if that is the case, I want you to leave.”

“I am not here to tell you that.” Rhysand inhales deeply. “I am just telling you what I know. If you forgive him, if you ever decide that forgiveness is the right way, is up to you. It is your choice and your choice only, but I want you to know that even if we hadn’t needed your help, he would have tried to save you.” He turns and walks towards the door. “He was going to save you. I trust my best friend, and I have seen it in his mind – he revealed it all to me, showed me everything.”

“My father…he threatened the other female in Azriel’s life. The only other female he would have given his life for. This was the only way to protect you both.”

Your throat starts to burn. “His mother.”

Rhysand’s chin dips and then he is gone, the door silently closing behind him and you are left alone with your thoughts, and the High Lord’s revelations.

Forgiveness…it never seemed like an option, but does it now?

tags (crossed-out I couldn't tag) : @juulle987 @marimorena06 @danikasthings @younxii @nightcourtwritings @mrofontaine @lunalilyf @whor-3-crux @tired-all-the-time @anni-was-here @ummmmmwat @azbracadabra @j-pendragonx @hollyismentallyillhelp @famousbasementpainter @bsenpai @lena-davina @red-highlady @thesugatoyourtae @azrielsbabyg @aroseinvelaris @moony-thoughts @wrensical003 @cherryjain17 @moonfawnx @crushedcloudsx @devilsfoodcake22 @valeridarkness @azrielscertifiedslut @mulansaucey @cynicalpotato95 @hanasakr @high-bi-andreadytocry @eerievixen @feyretopia @moonlightazriel @randomness-it-is @brekkershadowsinger @eliieee23 @girasoli-e-sorrisi @illyrianvalkyriecarynthian @kennedy-brooke @highladyofillyria @theworthlessqueen @marina468 @topaz125 @illyrian-dreamer @azriels-mate123 @eos-princess @courtofjurdan @a-frog-with-a-laptop @insufferablebookaddict @callmeblaire @lilah-asteria

#azriel x reader #azriel x you #acotar x reader #acotar #azriel

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vipwinnie · 8 months

Text

Smoking Problem

Theodore Nott x reader

Summary : Theo has always been addicted to cigarettes but this time it was too much

Y/N's POV

I sat in Theo's bedroom with tears in my eyes as cigarette smoke filled the air. I watched my boyfriend, his face contorted with anger, smoking one cigarette after another. This habit had become a gap between us, an impassable wall. At the beginning of our relationship, I didn't think this would be a problem. But as time passed, I realized how cigarettes had taken over his life. I spoke to him repeatedly about the dangers to his health, to our relationship, but my words seemed to be lost in the smoke. Arguments had become commonplace. Every time I asked him to stop, he got defensive, arguing that he could smoke if he wanted. The tension between us continued to grow, until that fateful day. That day, the argument reached a level I never thought possible. My words were filled with frustration and disappointment, and his were laced with anger and resistance. The ring he had given me, a symbol of our love and our promises, had become a silent witness to our imminent destruction. In a fit of rage, I stood up, tears streaming down my cheeks, and threw the ring on the floor. The sound of metal against tile echoed through the room, marking the end of our love story. The silence that followed was deafening. But no sooner had the ring hit the ground than something unexpected happened. The boy suddenly stopped shouting and his face showed surprise. He looked down and saw the ring on the ground. The anger faded from his face, giving way to sadness and regret. He immediately picked up the ring, his hands trembling, and rushed over to give it back to me. He wanted to be forgiven, to repair his mistakes. But it was too late. I had already made my decision.

Theodore’s POV

I sat alone in my bedroom, my heart heavy and my mind tormented by the violent argument with my girlfriend. The days that followed were hell, a descent into the depths of sadness and distress. I found myself in a terrible state, unable to control my emotions. Tears flowed almost constantly, flooding my face as I remembered the harsh words we had thrown at each other. Every thought of her reminded me of our argument and the pain that came from it. Sleep was my worst enemy. I tossed and turned in my bed, unable to find rest. Images of our quarrel haunted my dreams, waking me up in sweat and leaving me exhausted throughout the day. The food no longer had any taste. My appetite was gone, replaced by a lump of anxiety in my throat that prevented me from eating anything. Every bite felt like cardboard in my mouth, useless and tasteless. I felt lost, like a part of me had been ripped away. I found it difficult to concentrate on my daily tasks, my mind continually being flooded with thoughts of regret and sorrow. My life seemed like a collection of painful memories and empty feelings. Yet, despite all this pain, I knew I was responsible for our argument. I had let anger and frustration take over, instead of communicating constructively. I blamed myself for letting our relationship reach such a breaking point. The days passed slowly, each minute seemed to last forever.

One evening, while I was lying on the floor crying, my friends Draco and Blaise came to find me in my room. Blaise said:"Man, are you still thinking about her? You've got to move on." Draco chimed in:"Yeah mate, moping around isn't helping. You need to get back out there." I sighed."I know guys, it's just...we were together for so long. I miss her." Blaise put his hand on my shoulder."I understand. But sitting here won't change anything. You've got to go talk to her, sort things out." Draco nodded."He's right. You won't know if you have a chance unless you try. The worst she can say is no, and at least then you'll have your answer." I thought about it. They were right, I had been moping around for long enough. I needed closure, one way or another. "Alright, I'm going to go look for her. Thanks for talking some sense into me guys."

I finally decided to make a sincere declaration of love to her, in the hope that she would forgive me. I took a deep breath and walked towards where we used to meet, a bench near the lake. When I saw her, my heart soared. She was there, sitting on the bench where we had shared so many happy moments. Her face was full of sadness, but I could still see the love she felt for me. I took a deep breath and approached her. "Y/N," I began with a shaky voice, "I'm so sorry for everything that happened between us. I didn't mean to hurt you, and I sincerely regret every harsh word that I could say. You are the most important person in my life, and I can't imagine my life without you." She looked at me, her eyes filled with unshed tears. “I blame you, you know,” she whispered, her voice filled with emotion. "But I love you so much, and I can't stay mad at you forever." I took a small box out of my pocket, containing the ring I had given him when we first started dating. "Y/N, I want you to know how much you mean to me. This ring symbolizes our love, and I want to give it back to you as a renewed promise. I promise you that I will do everything in my power to be the best boyfriend, to make you happy every day." Tears began to stream down her face as she took the box into her hands. She carefully opened it, revealing the sparkling ring inside. A radiant smile lit up her face, and she held out her hand so I could hand her the ring. “I forgive you,” she said softly, her eyes shining with happiness. "And I promise to give you another chance. I love you, and I want to be with you." I felt an immense relief wash over me as I slipped the ring onto her finger. I took his hand in mine and realized how lucky I was to have him in my life. We kissed, sealing our reconciliation and our renewed love.

#harry potter #theodore nott #theo nott #theodore nott x you #theo nott x reader #theodore nott x reader #theo nott x you #pansy parkinson #mattheo riddle #blaise zabini #lorenzo berkshire #slytherin #fanfiction

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auras-moonstone · 4 months

Text

say don’t go — ethan landry

word count: 3.2k

pairing: hockey player!ethan landry x fem!reader

based on: say don’t go by taylor swift

summary: ethan has to move to another state to play for his dream hockey team so he decides to break up with his girlfriend, leaving her heartbroken

warnings: angst. break-up. fluff.

author’s note: hiii! long fic bc of my absence:) LOVE writing about hockey player ethan 😫 by the way, i saw retribution the other day, i actually really liked it. it wasn’t as bad as people painted it.

Y/N AND ETHAN HAD BEEN DATING FOR ALMOST A YEAR, which meant that they knew each other like the back of their hands, hence why Y/N had the intuition that his boyfriend was planning on breaking up with her.

The distance started when Ethan was signed off to the Chicago Blackhawks. As soon as he finished college, he would move to Illinois and Y/N didn’t know where she would fit in his new life, if she would even fit. He hadn’t talked about it with her, he barely even mentioned hockey around her anymore. And she just knew—she would soon stop being part of his life and it was a matter of time until Ethan sat her down and tell her.

The waiting was sadness, and as the days flew by it was slowly driving her into madness. And then she finally got the text from him, asking her to go to his house. She drove there with a heavy heart, knowing it was going to be the last time she passed those streets.

Meanwhile, Ethan was pacing around his living room with a tight chest and tears threatening to leave his eyes. He did not want to do it, he had been pushing away the conversation because he wasn’t ready to let her go. He still wasn’t ready, but it was for the best.

When Y/N parked the car in his driveway and got out, she walked towards the entry with slow heavy steps. It was like standing in a tightrope—she held her breath so hard and felt like one wrong step might make her collapse to the ground. She didn’t want to reach the end of that metaphorical tightrope because nothing good was awaiting her on the other side. Yet, she had no choice, so with the knuckles of her shaky hands she knocked on the door.

Ethan stared at the door for a few seconds, and eventually ordered his body to open the door. He faced the most devastating sight—his girlfriend, standing there looking smaller than ever, with dark bags under her saddened eyes and wearing an expression of defeat. At first, he thought something had happened to her but the reluctance of meeting his eyes was enough to make him realize that she knew. She knew what was going on.

“Hi.” he said in a low pained voice. “Come in.”

She greeted him with just a nod and a pathetic attempt of a smile, aware that opening her mouth would just trigger the tears she was trying so hard to hold back. Y/N just wanted him to rip the bandaid off so she could walk back to her car and cry her heart out.

“Let’s sit on the couch.” he said, his heart breaking by her crest fallen state.

“Just say it, Ethan.” in her mind, the way the words left her mouth were harsh and sharp like a knife, but truth was, her voice reached the highest level of vulnerability. The pain in her voice was clear.

He swallowed down the knot in his throat. This was even more painful than he had imagined. “Y/N… I’m sorry.”

She hated herself for feeling the urge to wrap him in her arms and brush away his tears. He was the one tearing up the relationship, not the other way around.

“I don’t understand.” she frowned sadly, trying to make sense of the decision.

“I know you don’t… I just, I can’t do this anymore, Y/N/N. I’m going away, the first months are going to be rough. I need to show them they didn’t make a mistake when they chose me. I can’t afford any distractions” as soon as those last words left his mouth, he knew he fucked up.

Y/N flinched, and took a step back as if he had slapped her. “Oh, wow. That’s just the cherry on top, Ethan.”

“Shit, no. I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Maybe you didn’t mean to say it, but it’s what you think. That I’m a distraction. That’s why you’re breaking up with me.”

It wasn’t that. She would never be a distraction—not the bad kind, at least—, but he couldn’t tell her the real reason why he was breaking things off. She would try to fight it, and that’s not what he wanted.

“No.” he sighed. “I just need to focus on doing my best, and I won’t have time for a relationship. I can’t just keep dating you when I can’t give you what you deserve.” he took a step closer, and cupped her cheek. “I don’t want you to hate me. Please don’t hate me, I really think this is for the best.”

“I just… why didn’t you tell me this sooner? These past few weeks were hell, I was constantly scared of this moment to come. It was agonising.”

“I was so selfish, I know. But I couldn’t let go, I wanted to spend a few more days with you. I didn’t know I was already hurting you.”

“You always knew you were going professional.” she whispered. “Did you always know you would break up with me in the end?”

“I didn’t expect to like you so much.” he said truthfully. “You know I didn’t do relationships, so I thought the thing between us would end way before I had to leave.”

“And you couldn’t have told me our relationship had an expiration date? Why’d you have to lead me on?”

“I… I don’t know, Y/N. I thought it was obvious that we couldn’t do long distance.”

Y/N’s scoff resonated in the room. “No, Ethan. It wasn’t fucking obvious. I thought we would try…”

“For what? These things never work. And with my schedule, I don’t see how this could not end in disaster. Why would we risk it?”

Y/N didn’t even contemplate it, and blurted out the words she had been meaning to say for a while “Because I love you…”

Ethan’s mind went blank, and he stood there in front of her completely speechless and frozen. He didn’t even noticed the way Y/N’s eyes got glossy, the way her hands shook or the anxious glances she threw his way.

Finally, Ethan fell on his butt on his couch and buried his face in his hands. It was painful, the way he wanted to say it back and the strength it took to restrain that urge. Ethan loved Y/N, and he knew perfectly well that she would follow him anywhere head first, but he just couldn’t let her do that. Her whole life was in New York, no matter if she was willing to let go of that for him, that wasn’t what Ethan wanted for her life. What if she ended up resenting him for allowing that?

Y/N didn’t know how long she stood there, waiting for him to say something, anything at all, but he wouldn’t even look at her. It was like twisting the knife he had already pierced her with, and she needed to get out of there. The silence was so loud she wanted to scream.

“Guess you didn’t like me that much.” she laughed a humourless laugh. Guess she was his, but he wasn’t hers. It sucks that she had to found out that way. “Good luck, Ethan. That team is lucky to have you, and I’m sure the coach will think so too. You’re going to do so well.”

And then she walked away, and a small part of her was hopeful he would suddenly react and say ‘Don’t go’. But he didn’t, and she had to hold back the tears until she was in the safety of her car, where Ethan wouldn’t be able to hear how much he had hurt her.

MONTHS FLEW BY, and Ethan was still being haunted by those three words and the way things had ended with Y/N. He was living his dream—he was part of an incredibly team, his teammates had been super welcoming, as well as the fans, and he managed to bond tightly with some of them, they were winning matches and the coach was delighted with his talent. He should be the happiest man on earth, but something was missing and he knew exactly what, or who.

Some of his teammates preferred to enjoy the female and male attention that being famous brought to play the field, and others were fully committed to their partners. And then, there was Ethan, who didn’t want to play the field and he had let go of his partner and only person his heart had belonged to. Missing her was painful, especially knowing it was all on him.

Y/N watched every single game of Ethan’s, not matter how overwhelming it was. She loved seeing him achieving his goals and dreams and felt beaten every time the team lost and she had to witness Ethan’s crestfallen face. She still loved him very much, and missing him was the hardest thing in the world.

But the fact that she missed his face didn’t mean she was ready to see him again, which was why the news hit her like a truck.

“Are you okay? You look like you’re going to pass out.” her teacher asked worriedly.

Tara looked at her with pity, knowing exactly the reason behind her weird reaction to something that was supposed to be an incredible opportunity. “She’s just shocked.”

“Oh.” the teacher smiled. “I assume you’re a fan of the Chicago Blackhawks, then.”

“Something like that.” the girl managed to say.

Apparently, one of the professors had contacts in the team and they managed to convince the coach to let two of Blackmore’s top marketing students work on a special project that involved the team’s publicity. And Y/N had been selected, which meant that he would be seeing her ex-boyfriend for the first time in six months in less than twenty four hours.

THERE WAS A MIX OF NERVOUSNESS AND ANXIOUSNESS IN THE LOCKER ROOM. Knees bounced and no words were uttered because of the uncertainty of the situation.

“Morning.” the coach spoke, exiting his office to stand in front of the team. Rolling his eyes, he let out a laugh then he said, “Unclench your asses, boys, there’s nothing wrong.”

“Why’d you ask us to come minutes early, then?” the captain asked.

“I just wanted to tell you that the following practices and games are going to be a bit different.” the team exchanged confused glances. “We’re having two marketing students present. They’re going to work on the team’s image as their final project for college.”

“Oh, cool. What’s the college?” Chad, goalie and Ethan’s closest friend, questioned.

“Blackmore University. It’s in New York. I have a friend working there and he asked me if I would be up to working with the students.”

Ethan’s hockey stick fell from his sweaty hand, landing on the ground with a resonating thud. Every pair of eyes landed on him, but his shocked face was focused on the wall.

“You okay, bud?” Chad asked, shaking his shoulder.

“W-what?” he blinked a couple of times, then shook his head. “Yes, sorry. I’m just- nothing.”

“You know the school? You’re from New York, right?” the captain asked.

“Yeah… I actually go there. I’m finishing the year online.” he answered.

“Oh, shit.” Chad said, eyes widening as the realization kicked in. “She goes there, right? Tell me she’s not in marketing.” but Ethan’s anxious eyes answered for him. “Well, fuck.”

“What’s going on?” Wes, another teammate, asked.

“My ex… she’s a marketing student. We broke up the night before I moved here.” Ethan said running his fingers through his hair.

“Let me guess, it did not end well.” Danny grimaced.

“It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t great either.” Ethan began to explain everything about that night.

“Why didn’t you say it back?!” the coach asked as if it had been the juiciest gossip he had heard in years. “You didn’t love her?”

“Of course I loved her. Fuck, I still do. So fucking much. And I miss her like crazy, I’m just not ready to see her yet. She probably hates me and I still think of her everyday.”

Everyone looked at him with soft eyes. Ethan was like a golden retriever, and everyone had a soft spot for him despite having meeting him a few short months ago.

“But no matter how badly I want her back, I can’t. She lives in New York, and I live here.” he sighed. “I’m probably overreacting, though, maybe she’s not one of those two students.”

“Well, you’re about to find out because they are already here.” coach said, looking at the text he had received. “Let’s go.”

It wasn’t hard for the team to realize that Ethan’s ex was there. The two teenagers couldn’t keep their eyes off each other, and the tension was obvious to everyone in that rink.

“So, what are we doing, bosses?” Chad asked Tara and Y/N once the introductions were made.

“Well, Y/N had this idea and I think is amazing.” Tara said, tilting her head at Y/N urging her to go on.

“You’re probably going to hate me.” Y/N started, which was followed by some Oh, god’s and groans. “So I thought we should focus on Tik Tok. Not only is the most popular app right now, but hockey players are super trending there.”

“Why?” the captain frowned in confusion.

Tara and her exchanged smirks. “Hockey rom-coms.” they said in unison.

“Of course.” the words left Ethan’s mouth unconsciously and followed by a deep laugh, remembering when he would catch Y/N giggling and swooning over fictional hockey players.

The beautiful sound went straight to Y/N’s chest. Even though part of her still resented the way he had left her, she couldn’t help but smile. At that moment, the feeling of having missed him was stronger than the hurt and sadness of their break-up.

Two minutes within his presence and she was already a mess. She didn’t know how she was going to survive getting used to being so close to him again, only to board a plan in a few days and go back to just daydream about him. She was already dreading to go back to New York, a place that didn’t feel like home anymore.

FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MONTHS, Ethan lived his victory with pure ecstasy and happiness. Winning always felt good, but he never got to enjoy it fully because he had no family to celebrate it with. But now, even though it was not for him, Y/N was there in the stands. She was clapping and cheering with Tara, and when her eyes connected with his, he swore he was levitating.

“Hey…” Y/N said when he and Chad skated towards them. “Congratulations, guys. You were amazing as always.”

“Thanks, Y/N/N.” Chad smiled. “We needed that victory after the last match.”

“Don’t beat yourself up for that. That referee sucked. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if the team bribed him.” Y/N shrugged.

Ethan looked at her in surprise. “You watch our games?”

Y/N blushed and cursed herself internally. “Uh, yeah. Anyways,” she cleared her throat. “Are you going to celebrate?”

“We usually go to a bar after a victory. You’re very invited, of course. Drinks on us, you’ve been doing an amazing job in our social media.” Chad said.

“Told you. Miss Y/N is a marketing genius.” Tara pinched her cheek, making the girl squeal.

“She is.” Ethan said with a proud smile. And fuck if it didn’t make Y/N want to kiss him.

“We’ll drive you. You can go with me and Y/N can go with Eth.” Chad and Tara shared knowing glances.

“Perfect.” Ethan spoke up before Y/N could object. He gave her the keys to his car. “I’m going to take a quick shower, you can wait there.”

After a couple of minutes, Ethan climbed into the driver’s seat “Did you enjoy the game?”

“Yes. It was insane!” she said with an enthusiastic grin. “I’m really happy for you, Eth. You’re living your dream.”

Ethan forced a smile. “Yeah.”

Y/N frowned. “Well, don’t sound so thrilled. What’s wrong? You looked very happy out there.”

“I was. I mean, I am happy. For the first time since I played here, I can truthfully say I’m the happiest.”

“Why? You have won before.”

“Because it’s the first time I get to share my victory with someone I love.” he looked at her with bright eyes. “Every game, I would look at the crowd, hoping to see you there, cheering for me with my number on your back. But you never were, until today. And I have never felt so on top of the world.”

Y/N stared at him dumbfounded. “Eth… fuck. That’s… I- I watched every game. I’m so fucking proud of you. And I would’ve been here, you know that. But you left me.”

“I know.”

“I would’ve stayed forever if you’d said don’t go. I would’ve followed you everywhere. I told you I loved you, and you said nothing back.”

“I loved you, too. And if you hadn’t noticed yet, I still do. My dream had always been playing professional hockey, but ever since you walked into my life, you became part of that dream. I wouldn’t be happy without hockey, but being without you? It feels fucking void. And I’m sorry that I hurt you, I should’ve never let you go.”

“Why did you?”

“You have your family in New York, you have friends, you were about to finish the degree you’d worked so hard for… I couldn’t be selfish to ask you to come with me.”

“It would’ve been selfish to force me to come. But ask? That’s what you should’ve done. We could’ve talked about it. But you didn’t even fight for us, you made your choice and didn’t let me do the same.”

“I was scared you would’ve chosen to come with me, and then regret it and hate me for it.” he confessed, eyes glossing with tears.

“Babe, I could never hate you.” she said softly, brushing his dump hair away from his forehead. “You know what my decision would have been?” Ethan shook his head as he grabbed her hand. “I would’ve told you I could finish online. I would’ve told you that my family isn’t going anywhere, and that I could still visit them. I would’ve told you my friends and I would still be able to text everyday. And above all, that you’re the love of my life. That I want to be cheering for you on the stands with your number on my back. And then, depending on how the match goes, we’d go celebrate together or cuddle as I reassure you that everyone has bad games and you’re one of the best players I’ve ever seen.”

Ethan didn’t know it was possible to fall harder, but there he was. “Do you still want that?” he asked hopeful.

“More than anything in the world.” she pressed her forehead against his and they both smiled. “I missed you horribly. I don’t want to be apart from you ever again.”

“God, me neither. I’m keeping you forever.” he gave her a soft kiss. “You’re moving in with me.” another kiss. “I’m going to marry you.” another kiss. “We’re going to have kids.” another kiss. “And we’re going to grow old together.”

“I love you so much. That’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard and I can’t wait to live that life with you.”

354 notes · View notes

elsaellaelys · 10 months

Text

Fingertips

summary: Y/N wakes up to JJ fingertips and horniness neediness.

WARNINGS: 18+, sex content, but no somnophilia sex, for fucks sake.

850 words

pairing: boyfriend!JJ Maybank x girlfriend!fem!reader

a/n: Dreaming with waking up like this.

I'm with so much ideas right now, but can't write them at the same time, so be a little patient.

--★--

The curtains are useless. The sun light is strongly shining through it inside the bedroom since 6 a.m. Everything seems glass made at the illumination, the perfume bottles, pictures frames, posters and the white wood walls in her room.

But that's not what woke Y/N. There's a warm bare chest pressed against her, also bare, back, a stomach tight feeling growing in her belly going down hot to between her legs as she feels fingertips run her side, drawing circles in her waist, palming, slithering to her hips. The combination of that all woke her up happily, especially cause she was dreaming of the owner of those strong hands, her amazing boyfriend, JJ, the same hands that brought heaven to her - or took her to heaven, she's not sure - and hold her close to him the whole night.

She stayed quiet, pretending to be asleep, JJ's breath was hitting her neck, he lightly pressed his lips to anywhere of her body he could reach. Nothing, but JJ was on her mind, so it was like to him, the sight of her beautiful tanned skin full on display to him, heart shape ass, legs tangling with his.

He looked over her shoulder to her face, but his look felt to her tits, so free and soft, he remembered of them last time, could even feel how they felt against his tongue, around his dick. His cock was coming back to life way faster then he wanted to admit, and she felt it in her loin, holding herself from bucking towards it, instead, she just waited.

Of course he wouldn't touch her while she slept, it felt wrong, it felt wrong even when he backed away, strocking his cock just cause of the sight of her ass, his fingertips running down her dorse. Oh fuck, how he pressed the bulge in her lower belly last night, he was so deep, feeling every ply of her pussy, he could still feel it, - if only she wakes right now -, the way her back arched and she grasped his arms, her moans and the way she begged him to cum cause she felt herself in the edge of passing out and, wait, did he just saw her legs clench together?

His breathed whimpers stopped as he stared at her body still quiet, letting go of his length he called her. "Y/N? You're awake?"

"Last night wasn't enough for you?" she mocked, reaching behind her to pump him herself, ripping a groan from his throat, her delicate hand so soft compared to his.

"Oh yeah, y'know what you do to me." He said, fingers stroking her cheeks, her lips, pulling her for a peck. She felt a satisfying rush in her heart for noticing how he kept away from sexually touching her while she was sleeping, he knew she had to be awake to enjoy it with him and, oh, how she's enjoying it.

"You want me to do it for you again?" she asked turning around to meet his face, she knew her were full of sleep, but so were his, and if he looked at her with the admiration she had for him, he wouldn't think nothing, but how beautiful and his she seemed.

"Fuck yes. Sit here on my face so I can give it back to you while you do it."

Y/N gladly accept the offer, legs rounding his face, she lowered her core into his mouth, the meet sending instant pleasure through her body and JJ was ready to start liking her, her savor taste in his mouth was enough to make him come undone so he doesn't know how he managed to not cum the minute her toungue met his tip.

He was losing his pace continually, his cock was deep in her mouth and the gaging noises she made sure to make loud was dizzying his mind.

None of them needed to breath at that point, for him it was enought with his nose rested in the curve of her ass, he lazily sucked her clit, fingertips running her back, her ass, her tights, suddenly grasping it tightly to buck his hips and fuck her mouth, saliva dripping to his balls, he was in the edge and crazy to make her cum first, his index finger collecting her arousal and entering her tight ass, middle finger following. She clenched, moaning loudly with his dick between her lips, he bucked his hips again to keep her mouth busy, he knew she wouldn't last long being fucked in the ass, clit being sucked, and licked, and twirled.

She crumpled the sheets in her hands as she cummed, careful not touch his dick with her teeth, her groans and moans sending waves through his length forcing his orgasm out, seed shots straight to her throat.

Panting breaths were the only sounds they could make, JJ slipped her off of him, sitting up, looking down at her, fingertips brushing the hair out of her face, down her nose and stroking her swollen lips. "Good morning." he laughing said.

#jj maybank #obx fanfiction #jj maybank fanfiction #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank imagine #jj maybank smut #jj mayback imagine #jj maybank x you

449 notes · View notes

mintmatcha · 6 months

Note

Mint, I need Lady in Waiting reader to find out that Sir Aizawa isn't married, I NEED this (I need to caress his weary face in my hands and watch his eyes slowly close as he cuddles into them, like a cat)

It’s normal for him to notice who comes and goes at these events. The vigilance is ingrained deep in every muscle, so much so that his eyes flicker to the door whenever there’s even a hint of movement.

That’s how he notices you dip out, the tails of your dress following behind.

He also notices that someone else is watching you.

“And then the dragon breathed fire. Did you know dragons could do that, mister?” the princess babbles, “That might only be in stories, though.”

Aizawa can barely mutter out a sound as he watches the other man -a squire, servicing under one of the other knights- excuses himself and heads to through door. He knows something is wrong by the way he moves. There’s too much purpose in his stride, a goal set into his brow and a smirk of his lips. It’s not the smile of a secret lovers meeting– its the sharpness of a predator hunting its prey.

“Mister Aizawa?”

Princess Eri tugs at the fabric of his shirt. The princess is especially young compared to the age of her father, only six as of this summer. Guarding her as been some of the easier years of his life, but also some of the most rewarding.

“I’m sorry,” he says as he stands, “I have to check on something.”

The young girl looks at him with wide eyes. “Will you be back soon? You promised we would dance.”

He ruffles her hair as he spins on his heel. He fears she has become his soft spot. “Before you know it, princess.”

He can’t hear your voice until his halfway down the hall and clear of the din of the banquet hall. It’s hushed, but with none of the polite lacquer you usually apply.

“I said I am retiring for the night,” you hiss.

“Perfect - then we shall head to your room.”

As Aizawa peers around the corner, he catches the blonde man reaching for you and grasping at the hem of your sleeve. You immediately rip yourself away, only for the squire to grap your other hand much more firmly.

“Sir Monoma,” you say, “If I have told you once, I have told you a hundred times. My heart belongs to another and I have no interest in you.”

The squire steps in closer, a laugh on his breath. He’s drunk enough that Aizawa can almost smell it from here. “Everyone sees how you long for the man. If he hasn’t reciprocated by now, you are waiting for nothing. You’re wasting your good years on a fool.”

Pity pangs in Aizawa’s chest. Have your affections been this obvious the whole time? He’d only just began to notice your lingering glances and hesitant touches– how long had it been obvious to everyone else? How much time had he spent missing you?

“Just one chance.” The squire tugs on your arm, trying to drag you in, but you hold firm, “I’ll treat you real nice, I swear it.”

The man twists slightly and you yelp.

Aizawa moves without thinking. It’s easy to catch a drunk man off guard. He slides in and knocks his weight off center, and in the instant of surprise, his hard snatches the squires away from yours. With a twist and a pop, the man’s arm folds behind his back and he falls to his knees, a strangled sound in his lips. It’s after, when he sees the fear in your eyes, that the anger sets in.

“If I am ever to catch you touching a maiden again I will break this arm so badly that you will never use it again, do you understand?” The words rip from his throat, “Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes, sir, or course, sir,” the man spits out.

“Your charge will hear of this.” With a shove, Aizawa sends him stumbling back, “And the king. Now, be off.”

There’s a moment of hesitation.

“I said be off.”

Monoma scrambles down the hall, back towards the party. You watch, rubbing your twisted skin with a dour look and avoiding Aizawa’s gaze. He’s not one to get flustered, but suddenly he is; you smell like juniper and flowers, a summer’s day, and rolled in like a winter’s storm.

“Don’t worry. His wrist is only sprained,” he offers.

“Frankly, I think you should have broken it.”

That surprises him enough that he chuckles.

“Was that too harsh?” you ask.

“Not at all.”

“Thank you, Sir, I don’t know how to repay you-”

Aizawa had discussed moments like these, the little openings that life gives him and he keeps squandering. Hizashi always tells him to be bold and romantic, Toshinori says to be soft and himself. Both seem like bad choices- so Aizawa decides to so something different entirely.

“Give me your hand.” He holds his own out, palm up. “That is all I request.”

You check the hall with a fair amount of apprehension. “Would your wife approve?”

“I am not married.”

“You aren’t?”

“Not even close to it.” He want s to explain the mix up, but the only thing he can focus on are you hands and how they wring your dress, “You can deny me. I’d understand.”

You lift your hand and place it in his, hovering slightly above his touch. Gently, he raises it to his lips and gives it the chastest of kisses. He expects you to pull away, maybe even slap him, but you don’t. Your touch lingers, warm against his skin.

“Are you sure you are unmarried?” you whisper, “You’ll break my heart if you are lying.”

He turns your wrist and presses a firmer kiss into your pulsepoint, then another, and another, trailing up your arm.

“You can ask the king himself.”

Right before he can nestle his face into the crook of your neck, you break away.

“Then, I will,” you say, dipping away and back towards the grand hall, “I will ask right now. I don’t want you to make a dishonest woman of me, sir.”

“Don’t ask in front of the court!” Aizawa is quick to follow, a uncharacteristic blush blossoming across his cheeks.

“Because you’ll be shown to be a liar?”

“Because the king might end up begging you to take me.”

283 notes · View notes

justcallmesakira · 2 months

Note

Omgomgomgomg Sakira for your Valentines event, can I request Angst prompt 11 (''Soulless roses purge from my mouth, with your lips on another womans one'') for reader and Dazai please? I'm a sucker for unrequited love owueuaisha but please take your time with this request! 💖

"Soulless roses purge from my mouth, with your lips om another womans one"

Prompt 11

Sypnosis: Really, hanahaki symptoms for a man who flirts with every single woman? How pathetic and foolish can you be?...

Genre: full angst

Dazai x reader

Warnings: vomiting obv since its hanahaki disease, no comfort(?), implied jealousy, suicide, slight implication to "No longer human", happy ending!!! :D

A/N: Tysm silver for requesting!! i tried my best to finish it in time but i am very sick rn so---i decided to give a happy ending since i was feeling merciful today :33

»~⋆ Hanahaki Syndrome˚⋆« -Shiki Miyoshino 𝟎:𝟑𝟒 〇────── 𝟎:𝟓𝟖 ⇄ ◃◃ ⅠⅠ ▹▹ ↻ ⋆⭒˚｡⋆

You loved him, alot actually.

But was he yours to begin with? Did you really believe he could be yours?

Dazai was sort of a playboy you knew. Everyone in the agency warned you about his tactics and charms.

"Dont worry, kunikida-kun! i am not going to fall in love with dazai, hes just a collegue at the end of the day!" You replied to kunikida when he warned you about the bandaged man. "Still, y/n I know you probably wont even get in contact with that guy, but i will just remind you of that womanaizer" Kunikida said with a serious tone, he was not very angry or anything but simple putting out care for you.

But did you listen? Because those petals say otherwise.

You entered the cafe downstairs with a beaming smile. You made Dazai a bento box today, if anything you even used various food items to draw out Dazai`s pretty face over the rice.

“Ah Bella!!! I can’t believe it, you should totally come to my apartment tonight”

You were expecting the same waitress he would flirt with everyday but to your surprise when your eyes met the couple sitting on one of the tables, you were shocked.

A woman, perhaps a bit older than the man flirting himself, pretty amber eyes and shiny long black hair.

You couldn’t decide whether you should go up to dazai and give him the gift you worked hard on or just leave them be. You hated it when he flirted with other women..a bit too much.

it hurts you, really it did to see him with someone other than you. Were you not worthy of him? Were you just an another girl who was the bandaged man’s doll to toy around with? Were those moments when he excitedly held your hands just a lie? Were those missions you protected him with your life just for the agency..?

Was coughing out all your pain in flowers really worth it? For him? For Dazai Osamu? For your ‘only love’?

No! It couldn’t be! Of course he would love you! Dazai would surely give you all the affection and love you needed, right?

While you were lost in your thoughts all of a sudden the pain you were feeling in your head started to form in your heart, and that heart dropped down to your stomach which instantly made you drop the bag and run to the washroom, the urge to puke coming out of your mouth.

Your steps slowed down as you reached the basin

"Oh god this isn`t happening, shit shit"

cough cough

Petals of a crimson rose chunked out of your mouth forcefully as you kept coughing, You swore you could feel a lump feeling in your throat as if a huge, full bloomed sweetbriar would pour out of you and into the sink.

You wanted to cry, why did this hurt. This feeling of being unheld and sore for someone else's touch and love who will probably never even look at you in the same light,,,It hurt more then the never ending fir you were currently expreriencing.

After an painful epiisode of coughing , a huge floret perhaps the size of a human eye lumped out of your throat which left you panting as your knees felt weak against the counter and you washed you face with some water.

The pain was so unbearable you had to fight the urge to rip off ur throat. Just looking at your reflection on the mirror lets you see why Dazai doesnt want you.

"Y/N-chan!! are you alright?" a familiar voice of a young tiger boy calls out to which you reply, "Ah! dont worry A-atsushi-kun i am A-OK!!"

Your voice shouts back cheerfully still, the sickness could be heard in your tone even after you go out and see dazai with a cheeky smile holding the bento box in his hand. He seemed to have found your little gift.

"Y/NNNNN!!! you seem sick ya alright? Also is this for me?? Your so sweet yknow! i could almost give out my heart to you!" The man says with stars in his eyes, quite the pretty set of eyes you thought. "Ah- thats r-right dazai i made it specifically for you, i really..really hope you like it" you somehow blurt out, god was it agonizing to know that that sweet soft smile doesn`t belong to you even if its a mask, a mere fake smile.

It hurts...alot to know this harsh reality.

Why were you so weak? You had questioned yourself each time your pathetic condition got worse, each a new shade of crimson indicating it was getting worse.

The day went normal, the ladies` man flirting with the woman from the bar across the street from what you had heard her name was Tsuneko, a pretty girl with a pretty smile, Oh how badly you wished you were in her place. In her shoes, laughing and sneaking off to who knows where with that bandaged man.

Atsushi noticed your drowsy eyes and gloomy demeaner but didn`t comment anything only stopping by a few times to check whether you were okay or not, he was sweet and caring, he really was.

Too bad you didn`t listen to everyones words.

During lunch hour you saw how dazai opened your bento box which you put your heart to with care and started munching on a crab leg, he loved crabs.

You were happy even for a moment that atleast his hue on his cheek brightened until you realized a certain someone was accompanying him.

It was like a illness blooming from a dying wilted seed.

Slowly dazai placed a chunk of the seasoned crab on her tongue, Tsuneko.

"Wow, Osamu this is really good did your friend make this?" she inquired in delight. "I know? god shes so sweet!" the man snickered and continued to talk more about his friends, or so what he calls them.

By time you had seen how intimate they got, their secret walks, the night, everything just because how dazai told you how he found the perfect suicide partner.

Tsuneko Tsuneko, Tsuneko, Tsuneko...

Everything was about her yet you still couldn`t loathe the deary couple, they looked like actual soulmates. Who were you to interfere?

You had a little crush now your hating on some sweet woman, seriously how pathetic can love really make you be you had wondered on your final moments.

Days turned into weeks

Flirts turned into touches,

Petals turned into full bloomed roses.

And still your heart didn`t stop beating rapidly around him, even though you tried avoiding him can your love for him be avoided?

It was painful, how longer, why did god allow you to love.

You coughed out another rose on your bathroom sink, a black one this time. The colour of mourning, whereas you mourn for your dead love, one which wilted away like a sad rose in a garden of white lilies long ago yet you still water it. It has been so long that you had beared with this pain, everyone`s hearts have its limits.

You could only feel tears brimming down your face like a glistening waterfall as your legs gave in to the soreness of your body and the aching of your throat.

"Why..dazai, why me..."

It was time...

Dazai and Tsuneko shared many similarities, in which both of them were poor, unhappy souls. Both of them shared lots and lots of conversations which escalated to a funs and giggles to words of a deeper route.

You could have also conversed with him, but he had already deemed you to be a normal and simple daisy, not a beautiful roseate with petals growing out of passion for him.

"Tsuneko, join me in a double suicide, if i have to die i want to die with the woman of my dreams." Dazai declared to her, holding her soft hands in his dry bandaged ones. It seemed the whether will deteriote like a corpse today by the way the clouds are looking.

Both of them stood on the sandy meadows of yokohams grounds with tsuneko in a delightful expression.

"Oh dazai, yes, yes lets do it dazai for i too am sick of this body" Tsuneko smiled, a dead smile. Tsuneko loved dazai and maybe he loved her back too so it would only be appropriate for them to die together.

And as the two lovers slowly collided with the water, your body stood with grace in a flowing white dress slid upon your scarred body.

"Soulless roses purge from my mouth with your lips on another womans one." you tune out softly in despair and a voice of shallowness which you wish you could use to sing for dazai and for him to look at you the way he looked at Tsuneko when she sang on the bar stage.

Your eyes were empty, you can finally be free like a bird in the sky with no strings of a human heart attached with you. The blood splattered on your dress made you looked etheral with your open hair flowing in the harsh wind under the grey skies.

A set of bare feet on the bridge`s railing. Pitch black empty eyes, a rosy and murdered dress and at least...Peace.

You fell hard onto the lake, you were used to this though. This bottomless deep sea of emptiness was nothing compared to the sea of agony you felt when you saw him.

Two bodies were later found at the lake, both gone cold from the freeze of the atmosphere.

A woman was also found it was indicated that she tried to end her life for her eyes seemed to be filled with agony when the poilce found her and somewhat saved her.

"Dazai, my...baby dazai" the woman sniffed and cried on the ground with sirens being loud in the background.

"Ma`am would you please tell me who this dazai is and what is your name?" a female police calmly asked the hysterical woman on the ground.

"Tsuneko.." sniff sniff "Dazai, we promised..to die together, why..?" she cried bitterly. There was only her who they found but after a few moments just when they were about to send tsuneko to the poilce officer they found two corpses run cold from the freezing water.

A brown haired man with a beige coat and another young woman with a gorgeous white dress and blood splattered all over the fabric, it seemed like she vomitted out the blood.

"They.. hahh. They were meant for each other weren`t they..." tsuneko said with a somewhat tired yet relived smile. Its true she was disappointed she couldn`t die with her loved but at least she got to see two people who had coughed out flowers of kinds for each other get intangled, even in death.

Even though both the corpses went cold somehow a glow of light and passion radiated from them for both of them had a smile on their faces infact another thing they identified which was common was that in the pockets of both bodies were an overflowing amount of sooty crimson roses.

The petals weren`t worth all the fight but at least you knew that the same person you coughed for had the same condition.

A/N: Fun Fact Fiction time! (i luv doing these lol-): If you didnt know, tsuneko is actually a character from Dazai Osamus book "No longer human". She was the one who commited double suicide with Oba but oba was the one who survived and tsuneko died which mean..yknow :)

Divider crds!: @plutism

Tags!: @silverbladexyz @saelique @atlasnessie @biscuits-spooky-corner @tojifile @ruanais @riiwrites @tsuunara @typcallysid14 @heartsfourdazai @elizais (Do let me know if you would like to be added or removed from my taglist in my inbox!)

#sakira!#bungou stray dogs #sakiras writing notebook!!!#bungou gay dogs #bsd x reader #dazai x reader #bsd stuff #bsd dazai #dazai angst #hanahaki disease #valentines sweetheart event #unrequited love #heartbreak #osamu dazai x reader #osamu dazai

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the-desilittle-bird · 1 year

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Author's Note- My first Jasper story and gods! Do I love him? He really made me start writing up, not that the story was posted online but yet. Any way.

Requests are always open and well appreciated.

Thank you and Enjoy your reading!

Under the Moon

Jasper Hale x Reader

Summary- New life and new ways of living is overwhelming but Jasper is there...

Tag List- @chevelledahuman, @savagemickey03, @muushwrites, @chaotic-fangirl-blog, @nyx2021, @bi2simps, @thatgirlthatreadswattpad, @shit, @b-tchymoon, @instabul, @hukio, @carissa_griffin7777, @whotfatemywaffles, @dontdisturbme8, @mayumibeauty, @hermosa4285, @newt-scamander-is-hot-af, @andlizeth, @michelle-26, @a1icebxby, @5moremin, @storiesmaker6, @hc-geralt-23, @simpforfictionalmen, @ultrav0lence, @blackbluerose

Warnings- Mentions of R*pe, Blood Thirst, Blood

GIF Credits to @damonsvftie

The strong smell of copper drew Jasper to the highway connecting Forks to Seattle. The rain had stopped and left the forest green and the soil wet, puddles visible here and there.

Carlisle followed him closely, humming a tune while his eyes took in the silent atmosphere. The light sound of leaves rustling or the soft breathing of the sleeping animals echoing in their ears.

And in between them, was a shallow breath. As if the person bleeding couldn't breath properly, from an injury or a weight on the chest. The thumping of heartbeat slowing down when they reached the highway.

Near the side laid a body, almost lifeless with clothes torn apart to pieces. Blood covered her skin and formed a puddle beneath her form. Chest heaving but gaining no oxygen to survive for any longer than a few minutes.

"Stay behind, Jasper," Carlisle said, kneeling down beside her while checking for all the injuries she had. "She needs us, Carlisle. Her heart is too slow to be rescued in mortal form," Jasper said, stepping closer while avoiding the animalistic growls his mind played inside.

Carlisle looked up immediately, understanding what his son implied before shaking his head. "No, I promised not to change anyone. I can't destroy another life," he said, preparing himself to do a CPR. "You know it won't help," Jasper argued, making Carlisle sigh.

Carlisle looked up to find Jasper with tears in his amber eyes. And that is when he realized why Jasper was urging him to change her.

Carlisle only nodded, deciding not to question at that moment.

It was exhausting.

To be a vampire and constantly find yourself in a human's presence, (Y/N) learnt a hard way. While she didn't hate Bella, she just couldn't be in her presence without wanting rip her throat apart and devour every drop of blood in her.

It was Jasper who would wrap a hand around her waist while rubbing circles on her forearm. He stopped her from attacking the human all the time.

(Y/N) found herself liking Jasper's presence around. It soothed her and made her feel comfortable in her own skin. He helped her fit in, from teaching her how to hunt to explain to her the heightened senses.

It made her feel like she was some kind of damsel in distress and she did find herself frequently apologizing for it, much to the blonde man's dismay.

(Y/N) found him handsome. His long dirty blonde hair. His deep amber eyes. His sharp wits and features. His entire personality and his accent. He would always call her 'Madam', something she found herself liking.

He never really asked her about her origin, or about that night; but he did tell her about his past. Everything thing he had done. And as much as (Y/N) wanted to hate him for serving the Confederate Army, she just couldn't.

It could just not happen. Her hating him. Probably because it was him who convinced Carlisle to change her and grant her a chance at living. She didn't know for sure, just that she found herself seeking him more and more.

"You should let it out," Jasper's voice echoed in the valley as he looked at the woman beside him. (Y/N) only hummed, hugging her knees as she looked up at the full moon. "I don't know if I can."

"You can," Jasper said, determined. His amber eyes found her crimson ones, laced with intensity and loyalty. "You seem more confident about me then I am about myself," she chuckled, before sighing, the smile dropping.

"It was a friend," she whispered, eyes focused on the rock in front of her. "We were drunk and he offered to... drive me home," she continued, tearing up as the night became clearer in her mind. "He stopped in the middle of the road, said something was wrong with the car."

Jasper could feel her emotions spiking, making him wrap his hand around her shoulder. Placing his head on her shoulder, he spoke, "You know, when I was working for Maria. I thought I was doing right, but no. It wasn't that way."

"Could never do anything wrong," she whispered shyly, fingers tracing some unknown patterns on his thigh. "I did many wrongs in my life, (Y/N). But convincing Carlisle to turn you, it was the best decision I could ever make."

"I am grateful you did," she said with a smile, making Jasper roll his eyes teasingly. "You can repay me in the future," he said jokingly, making the lady laugh heartily.

"You know, you look breathtaking under the moon," Jasper complimented, making (Y/N)'s eyes dart everywhere but denied meeting his.

The empath smiled, his fingers interlacing with hers as they watched each other under the moonlight, blissfully.

#jasper hale x reader #jasper x reader #jasper #jasper hale #twilight imagine #twilight #carlisle cullen x reader #carlisle x reader

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loserlvrss · 3 months

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꒰ 𝐆𝐎𝐍𝐄 ꒱ 이민호

summary : it's coming up on your boyfriends' death anniversary, and something's finally telling you to let go

genre : angst, minho x afab!reader tws : angst, death, grief, depression, various substance abuse, mentioned suicide, various suicidal thoughts, very slight reference to religion author notes : maybe i cried idk word count : 3.4k

skin to skin. it’s what most humans crave. the contact and warmth of someone; romantically, familiar, platonically. all humans are the same. we are designed to crave a comfort since birth, to form connections beyond intellect. we look for anyone and everyone who could fill that desire… and when abandoned, nothing will ever feel like enough.

“you’d never leave me, right?” you said, tracing small circles on the tan skin of your boyfriend, whomst you love with your entire heart. he was everything to you, and you him, “you’ll stay with me forever, right?”

you bounced lightly as he chuckled, “of course,” you felt his hand grip your bare side harder, “forever.”

“promise me.” you held up a pinky, and his eye cracked open at the shade behind his lids.

he stroked your side gently as he brought his other hand up, locking his smallest finger with yours, “i promise, y/n.”

the bitter reality hit as your eyes opened. you couldn't figure out the time, and honestly you didn't want to check. the void of color in your room — life — was enough to always put a dampen on your spirit, and ultimately, day. you turned over, and for it being a relatively good dream, you were drenched in sweat. you reached across the bed, the sheets wrinkled where you hadn't been sleeping. but, you were alone, and it sunk whatever was left of your heart.

you grumbled, borderline whined as you turned over. you don't know why there was an actual pain shooting throughout your body. you don't know why the impending desire to just lay there until the end of time consumed you. you don't know why your eyes teared up, creating a watercolor painting against the dimmed colors of your room.

you don't know why you were always questioning what was real and fake nowadays. you could've been caught up in a nightmare — you figured you could wake up any moment and not feel this jaded in your everyday life — but it never subsided.

you didn't want people to tell you that everything would all be okay. you didn't want people to tell you that depression passes. you didn't need anyone to know that what you felt right now was less than human. you didn't need the memories to remind you of what can't be washed away; of what you can't get back. you didn't want to lose those moments in time though, like you had lost the real thing, because it was all you had left, but knowing that you couldn't make any more felt like ripping stitches.

it was acid on a never healing wound knowing that peace was something you only felt when asleep. and the only way you got to sleep nowadays was with the aid of various drugs.

it was an unhealthy habit. a struggle you knew shouldn't feel as good as it did. but a vice is still a vice whether it has that name or not.

your hand reached to the side table, finding your phone and ultimately leaving it face down. you continued to search until your hand found a rattling bottle — an orange pill bottle — that peers would say you practically lived off of. and you did. only ever feeling remotely like yourself when a couple were thrown to the back of your throat to dissolve into your bloodstream.

you truthfully didn't know the dose you were supposed to be taking, everything dulled down by your seemingly never ending high — you never being sober because it was too hard to — and you definitely didn't know why your psychologist kept prescribing them. maybe she had no idea that you were on the edge of a cliff, just desperate for an excuse to topple off it, but you found it hard to believe that she was that bad at her job.

you felt like you were just a lifeless vessel being controlled by the fumes clouding your brain. yet, if you wanted to stop, you would, right? it wasn't an addiction if it was willing, was it?

maybe. but truthfully your secondhand high was too strong for you to care. so, you lit up another carelessly thrown about blunt, inhaling the smoke until you were completely numb. until you couldn't feel your fingertips. until you couldn't form a coherent thought.

until you couldn't remember why you wanted to die, too.

you trudged the scene your bedroom was in: clothes, packages, bottles and other miscellaneous things littering the hardwood. despite being alive, you felt like you were drowning. a physical sting in your chest. a deep sigh that never escaped your lips. you were walking on broken glass with every step, but the pain would never be comparable to the turmoil you already find yourself in.

if this wasn't hell, you didn't want to know what was.

you never turned on any lights, the windows being covered by curtains 24/7. you could see through the flimsy fabric that the sun was barely still up, or maybe it was just gracing the sky with its' presence. you didn't know, and if you didn't have to make a living in a capitalist society, you wouldn't care either.

you would be contempt living (more like going about) your day inside the confines of your home. sure, you hated being alone, especially with your thoughts, but you were never truly alone; haunted by the ghosts that paint your walls in a dark shade of red; and you were never sober enough to think anymore.

never letting yourself feel the gravity of grief, quoted from your therapist, is not allowing you to receive closure, to heal from the loss of someone you gave your entire heart too.

however, closure, in your fucked up mind, meant forgetting. and as much as it pained you, chained you down in the depths, you couldn't let go of the memories. even if you ended up dead because of them. at least, you thought there was a chance you'd be able to meet again that way.

you weren't in denial, like your all-knowing doctor seems to think. no, you knew what happened. you remember it clearly despite trying your hardest to cloud it out. you couldn't be going through the stages of grief if they never changed — they couldn't even be considered stages if they've turned into your despised lifestyle.

you loved, but hated the never changing facial expression. you loved, but hated the liquid that made you so slurred. you loved, but hated the fact that someone you couldn't have left you with the door wide open. you loved, but hated knowing that maybe you weren't good enough to make him want to stay. you loved, but hated that you are still so in love with him when he's, where? if he could see you in this state, would he be able to say that he once loved you too? if he could see you crying every night, dressed in the clothes of his that you have yet to wash, would he still think that out was the only way in?

he was your everything, even after everything had ended.

so, why weren't you his last thought? why didn't he even have the decency to write you a letter in embodiment of his dying wish? why couldn't he just give you the answers you used to so desperately yearn for? even in death, he had to be the selfish one. wasn't leaving enough? you didn't know.

but, it's been 12 months.

those answers never came, and now you didn't expect them to magically appear. not after you tore apart your entire apartment, inch by inch, crevice by crevice, coming up empty like it was a cruel fucking joke. like you were a rat trapped in a cage, on the hunt for cheese that was behind an unreachable wall.

you used to wonder if you had done something differently, complained less, listened more, would he not just be the rain that splotched your skin.

it's as if the sky was mocking you. as if it's asking if you really had the audacity to be upset with something you couldn't control.

but you were only half alive, barely half a mind to think of anything rational when your stability was ripped from under you like it was just a flimsy rug to being with.

you were free falling, and you never learned how to fly.

“y/n,” your eyes tried focusing as best they could, but the flashing lights were making your head spin more than it should, “we have to check inventory before opening. the boss said someone’s been stealing — and we’re not accusing you because we know what you take.”

the woman in front of you, your coworker of a couple years brought her hand to rest against your forehead. “are you okay? you seems worse than normal.”

“u-uh, yeah.” she eyed you in disbelief, “i’m good.”

you weren’t, but you still followed her behind the bar to crouch down and count the bottles. you’d probably use most of them anyways, as tonight was always the busiest of the week.

truth is, you weren’t even sure what number you were on when you fell onto your butt, catching your coworkers attention. the booming music making your chest bounce with the bass, and the in-time lights spinning and flashing and changing was throwing you off.

even if you were crossed, you’ve never had a problem getting your work done. you could even fight back the nausea, the discomfort and dizziness that it caused your body — but today, today was different.

you weren’t in-tune with anything. not being able to beat the funk. even when you tried to stand back up, you put your hand on a bunch of napkins, slipping and falling right back to the ground. it was frustrating, borderline humiliating. even as she tried to help you up out of the good in her heart.

you felt tears brimming, “y/n. it’s okay, let’s just get up. i can take inventory. you seem like you need to rest for a little bit before opening.”

stupid, useless, unbelievable.

why couldn’t today just go the way it was supposed to? you kept wondering if this was a cruel joke. today of all days had to be the worst on top of everything it stood for. it had to be someone’s doing. and whoever’s been controlling your life must’ve been one sick individual.

you, at least, hoped they were happy in your misery.

you huffed, forcing yourself onto your knees, hands splayed over them. you looked at the bones of your knuckles, wondering how hard one had to hit to get knocked out — you were always better unconscious than conscious.

then, your eyes set on a clear bottle. it was filled to the brim with a blue liquid that you didn’t even bother to read before pulling it off the shelf. you opened it and took a long swig. when you finally put it down, your coworker had a horrified look on her face.

you gave the bottle up easily when she reached for it, “y/n… what’s the matter with you today? you need help. seriously, i’m so sick of you fucking everything up!” she grabbed at your hands, trying to get you to stand up, but you were too heavy for her to even begin to move; a dead weight, if you will. “oh my god, get up! all you do is get high and throw a pity party! how long is this going to be? how do you even live like this?”

it was a question you heard often. how do you even live like this? but they didn’t know living would be such a painstakingly long journey. sure, maybe they were only asking because they cared, because they were genuinely curious, but you had no answer.

and you feared you never would.

was living truly worse than dying? all signs would point to yes. maybe he had the right idea after all…

you heard whispering above you, “it’s his death anniversary today, j-just — let’s just send her home. we can deal with it tonight, right? customers aren’t going to want to see her drinking their drinks. help me get her up. she’s miserable.”

you felt like you had lost all control — seemingly having none to begin with — you got up on your own, something within possessing you, and stumbled to the door.

maybe your coworker was right. maybe you do fuck everything up. maybe you were miserable. maybe that’s why you’re here and he’s not. maybe that’s why you can’t seem to grasp the sand that keeps slipping through your fingers. maybe you were better off with the same fate as the one you loved so dearly. maybe the depression would finally consume you, like your therapist said it would if you didn’t intervene, like you’ve been praying day and night for.

you wanted to die, but you always thought it would’ve been in his arms.

now, you were cold. a wondering spirit searching for the only thing that could set them free; and what you feared is knowing that that thing wasn’t something that you’d ever find.

you swear you could feel a hand on you. a grip on your shoulder that kept pulling you back. but maybe that was your diagnosis of trauma-induced hallucinations. because truthfully, your derealization and depersonalization had gotten so bad your doctor thought about prescribing you anti-psychotics.

however, you’d have to un-ghost your psychiatrist for that to ever happen.

your breathing was labored, the earth spinning too quickly for your liking. you tried to blink away the blurriness, but the sky was also too bright, despite the rain, making you squint.

it seemed everything was retaliating all at once. it’s said karma catches up with bad people, and were you finally falling victim to it?

no, you were just falling.

falling so hard that you can’t even remember what happened next. did you pass out after hitting your head on the concrete? did you die? you could only hope for so much.

your eyes opened, but the world seemed different, colorful once again; a dusty orange hue to the air. you looked around confused as to how you ended up back in your room.

did someone find you? so you hadn’t hit your head hard enough to die; maybe next time, you thought.

you looked to your feet as they left wet footprints behind on a clean floor. all of your boyfriend’s clothes were folded nicely on the bed, as if someone had just washed them. it no longer smelled of mildew and various rotting substances. you couldn’t even find the couple grams that were on your nightstand this morning. but there was also another smell wafting through the air; a smell of tea and cherry blossoms.

much like that night 12 months ago.

the night everything in your world had come crashing down upon you. the night you lost every part of yourself to the grim reaper. the night you lost the game you thought you were winning. the night you lost the only love of your life.

the night minho, your boyfriend of six years, committed suicide.

he left you to relive every waking moment without him like life was a cruel fucking joke on you. left you with the pitiful looks friend and family would give you. left you with funeral preparations and arrangements. left you with heaps of chrysanthemums. left you to weep as the cherry blossoms fell from the trees and snow from the sky.

he left you in every season, and you never knew why.

you never knew why the radio static sounded like him. never knew why the smoke would bounce off his silhouette. never knew why you prayed to someone who clearly wasn’t real — who clearly didn’t care to hear your pleas — but, god did it bother you once you’d figured out you wasted all that time. you never knew the why of a lot of questions, and it left you feeling nothing but empty; numb; jaded; hallow; anything that spelled out that you were just a walking corpse with very low cognitive recognition.

you found it hard to believe he loved you as much as he did. but if face-to-face, you’d forget that thought ever crossed your mind, because at the end of the day you were beyond devoted to him. he was your soulmate, and you’d find him in any lifetime, you were sure of it.

so, why couldn’t you let go? why couldn’t you do yourself the favor and move on? whether that be in this or the next life. why couldn’t you follow his lead and find him once again.

maybe you would finally awake from this torturous nightmare —

“minho?” you all but shouted out against the gentle breeze of an opened window, “minho? are you there? is that you?”

you heard the pattern of steps on wood, soon met with the face you’d not grown to forget. he looked confused, concerned at your obvious state of disbelief, “are you okay, baby?”

you felt his hands on you, watching as they slowly followed the length of your arms, finally pulling you into his chest.

you wanted to ask how, but you know that you only ever see him when you’re high. but you didn’t feel high right now; and you obviously knew what it would feel like if you were, after abusing anything you could get your hands on for a year.

you wanted to come up with any excuse, but the very real scent of his cologne (that had faded from his hoodies after a couple months) filled your nostrils. you felt comforted, which hasn’t been something you felt for what seemed like decades. minho was the only one who brought you solace, but he had left you. so how was he — no, how were you here right now?

god, you must’ve finally hit your wall. you must’ve finally found the breaking point and flew past it. you had finally gone insane, that was the only real explanation you could come up with.

your therapist said it would happen if you didn’t quit, but why would you ever listen to her? hell, maybe you should’ve. but, if this was insane maybe you didn’t really mind being enclosed in his arms.

but it felt wrong. how could you spend months of your precious life grieving the fact that he was dead, if he’s hugging you right now? how could you spend all your time getting high enough to not feel sad if he was right here in front of you?

his flesh felt real, but so did the ache in your heart.

“h-how?” he hummed, not entirely hearing what you said. you pushed him back, but the grip on your forearms remained, “how are you he-here? how are you alive? y-you killed yourself, minho.”

he seemed confused, a slight smile still adorning his features though, like he couldn’t believe the prank you were playing on him. but to you, he looked so real, just as you couldn’t erase from your memory — a snapshot in time that you captured oh-so-long ago.

“you’re dead, i-i was there. i buried you!” the room seemed to lose all color — like it’d been splashed with arctic water, a shiver running up your spine — which once had an orange hue, was now a dark shade of blue, like the depths of the ocean.

his face lost the smile, ice lacing his fingertips almost like he had been deep in the dirt rotting away. “i found you minho. i-i tried to save you but it didn’t work! i tried, i swear i did, b-but,” tears brimmed your eyes, quickly making their way in valleys down your cheeks. your voice was weak, but you hadn’t used it much in the last year anyways, “you were dead, minho! the emt’s pronounced you dead at the scene. y-you’re not real. y-you left me. i watched them put you in the ground. i cried for hours, minho! i stayed with you for days. i prayed to a fucking god i don’t believe in to make you come back to me! i only ever saw you inside my head, when i wished upon every star it was real! minho, you’re gone.”

his words were a push to the knife that only ever danced upon your skin, never plunging and never drawing blood, “then, why won’t you let me go?”

reblogs, likes and comments are greatly appreciated! thank u!

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obetrolncocktails · 9 months

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Ignition | Danny Wagner X f!Reader X Jake Kiszka | Part 1

Warnings: Minors DNI, 18+. This series will include smut, angst, and fluff. In this part: Depression, and unrequited feelings, with some exciting fluff!

Word Count: 3,325K

A/N: This series has been a blast to write so far. I am literally a Danny girl right now (don't tell Josh)! Parts will be released relatively close to each other, so you won't have to wait long for your fix. I've got 13K words ready to publish!

Summary: Losing your best friend and the possibility for more all in the span of 5 minutes wasn't your idea of a fun way to spend your Friday night. But life is full of surprises, especially when Danny Wagner walked into your life just when you needed him.

“Y/n,” Jake pleaded in his too sweet and too sensitive voice, his fingertips reaching out to comfort you as you withdrew within your own quiet, cracking defense. His voice sounded exactly like the one you’d heard in your head so many countless nights as you imagined this conversation, but the scenarios didn’t match in the slightest.

“I love you,” He spoke again, slicing another hole through your heart. You heard the three words, but not in the way you’d manifested you would.

“No. You don’t.”

He was silent for another moment, slipping his hands into the pockets of his same stupid jeans he always wore. “I’m not in love with you,” he said as quietly as he could muster. “But you are one of the most important and special people in my life, Y/n.”

“Jake, just please,” you sniffled, feeling the tears flowing heavier, blurring your vision. “You’re hurting me.” You could barely muster the words. “So, please just go,” you begged him. The likelihood of this outcome was exactly why you persuaded Jake to let you be the one to drive.

“You can’t drive like this,” he said quietly. “I can drive you home.”

“No,” you said too forcefully. “I just want to be alone, and I don’t want to be alone with you right now, Jake. So please. Just go.” You looked up at him, sure that your makeup was smearing pitifully down your face. “I will text you that I got home,” you finished, staring down at your steering wheel. Those were the last words that you’d utter to him tonight.

“Okay,” he answered quietly, picking at his nails in his lap. He wore a pained, regretful expression, which hurt you even more. You felt the pang of an approaching sob ripping through your throat, but you pushed it down until he got out of the car. You watched as he silently reached for the door handle, swinging the door open and stepping out. He turned around like he wanted to say something, then closed his mouth again, his lips pulling taut with indecision.

“Please let me know when you get home,” he said. You nodded once, tearfully. He closed the door and left you alone. You watched through the car window as he trudged up the dark driveway and into his house. The silence inside of the car was deafening, and if you could have dissociated through the grief, you would have. Wiping away the tears and taking in as deep of a breath as you could manage, you reached forward and put the key into the ignition, cranking the car. As it roared to life, a small feeling of relief pushed you to pull out of the neighborhood and head home.

Admittedly, you had driven almost entirely out of muscle memory, coming out of your distracted state as you approached the last stop light before the turn-in to your own neighborhood. You didn’t remember exactly how long you sat in your car, letting your head spin and your heart reel, so lost in your own upset. For so many months you had let the scenarios and possibilities of more, something exciting grow and turn into something that you had created that was so unbelievably real to you, that you hadn’t truly processed the possibility of disillusionment. You’d hurt yourself even further by scrolling through your camera roll, searching and scanning for yours and Jake’s pictures taken together, his arm wrapped around you, holding you close. His smile was infectious, and despite the stale tears drying on your cheeks, you couldn’t help but smile. You loved him–you always would, but it had become something more. Those feelings had scared you so deeply, but empowered you to take that terrible risk for the slight chance that he too, felt the same way.

It took everything in you to summon the energy to go inside, and when you did, you didn’t even bother changing out of your clothes. You stepped out of your jeans and got into bed, letting the cried-off makeup seep into your pores. It would have to wait until the morning to be washed off, because you didn’t care. You had no one to impress. Why did Jake have to be your best friend? Why, now when you were hurting so badly, you couldn’t turn to him for support? He couldn’t come over and talk you through the pain. You couldn’t cry in front of him like you used to, and you weren’t sure if you’d ever be able to be that easily vulnerable in front of him again. Reaching for your phone, you sighed deeply, texting a message to Jake as you had promised.

“I’m home.”

Reading the happy-go-lucky messages that had been exchanged before the last had filled you with even more sorrow. You’d just have to wade through the despair tonight. There was nothing that would make this any better.

Just to hurt yourself more, you decided to look for a playlist of adequately-depressing songs, and pressed play. You stared up at your dark ceiling, watching the blades of the ceiling fan whir. After a while, you welcomed the mindless churn of your consciousness, momentarily compartmentalizing your sorrow into emotionless numbness.

“Thanks for letting me know. Take care of yourself, Y/n. I’m always here for you.” He responded. Even when you wanted to cast Jake away, set forth on your own mission of shunning, you couldn’t. Jake exuded kindness and care with everyone he’d ever met, and you certainly were no exception. You couldn’t chase away the idea of tacking up a picture of him on an axe-throwing board, and slamming blows through his pretty face until you were either satisfied, or there was nothing of the paper left to shred. Even in your darkest, most self-sabotaging thoughts, images of hearts and kissing still flooded your mind's eye, betraying your feeble attempt at resolve. You weren’t sure when the tears stopped, but eventually they did, though you still felt the drying reminder of them on your skin as you finally laid down in hopes of falling asleep.

The next day came with your body freezing, having fallen asleep on top of the covers. You felt an itch as you opened your eyes, reaching down to unstick your keys and phone from your legs. You let your head fall back against the pillow as you realized that you had forgotten to charge your phone, and your consequence was to be connected at the hip with a charging cable all morning. Your notifications were scarce and held no significance. If you were honest with yourself, you felt just as insignificant, wanting nothing more than to lay in bed all day and dissolve into the welcome comfort of sleep. So, you did.

***

Days passed unremarkably. You went to work and finished your shifts, blocking out the world around you through your airpods. You regretted it deeply that you had easily let Jake become the center of your universe. You wondered if he missed you, and while you knew that he did, you couldn’t help but selfishly and angrily push away any sympathetic thoughts. But, of course, after you did, you still felt the remaining ache tug at you.

“Y/n,” Richard, the owner of The Bohemian, the record store that you worked at, tapped on your shoulder.

“Hm?” You asked, pulling out your airpods.

“I’ve been calling for you,” he said, looking at you with a quirk in his brow. “You seem a bit distracted lately, and you’ve missed a lot of work. Is everything okay?” Looking down at the chance to avoid his stare, you realized that you’d been shelving records into the wrong area and under the wrong artist. You turned to hide your mistake.

“Oh, uh,” you paused, fighting to make eye contact with him. “Sorry. Just some stuff going on with family. I’ll do better, I promise,” you quickly apologized.

“No, no,” He said, placing a friendly hand on your shoulder. “That’s not what I meant,” he said. “I just want to make sure that you’re doing okay. You’ve always been right on time for work. You always have a smile on your face, always so, I don’t know,” he chuckled once, shrugging. “Anyway, I’ve just noticed that spark has been a little dull for a while now.”

Anxiety and embarrassment coursed through your body, your heart rate increasing, feeling each thump pound through your skin. “I’m okay. I will be, at least,” you ensured him.

“Why don’t you take the rest of the day off? It’s been so quiet here anyway,” he offered. “We won’t mention the call-outs,” he grinned, offering a wink. “Go on. Remember to take care of yourself.” He unknowingly echoed Jake’s sentiments.

Initially, you weren’t enthused about being released back into the sadness of the routine you’d created over the last week and a half. At the same time, you had the energy to do something for yourself. “Are you sure? I feel like I’ve been out more than I’ve been in,” you chuckled nervously. He waved you off, dismissing your worries.

“It’s hurting my heart to see you so miserable. Plus, you’re gonna send customers away with how dreadful you look,” he grinned sympathetically. “Go before I kick ‘ya out,” he said, pushing you away toward the front of the store.

“Okay, okay!” you answered. “I gotta get my stuff from the back though.”

He shook his head, teasing you. You retrieved your belongings and clocked out. “I’ll pick up some extra hours next week,” you said as you headed out of the front door, the automated bell tinkling.

“Yeah, yeah!” he said, waving you away dismissively. “Enjoy your day.”

***

It was convenient that The Bohemian was downtown. The major inconvenience, however, was that it just so happened to be pouring-down raining outside. It didn’t deter you, though. You decided to take a left at the corner and book it toward one of your favorite places. Apothecary Coffee Co. was a combination coffee shop/bookstore that you loved to go to for as long as you could remember. Throughout college, it was your spot to study, to write, to read, and to hang out with friends. Even in your sadness, the brightness of the converted pharmacy filled you with comfort. As you stepped in from the rain, you were reinvigorated with the welcome warmth of the place.

“Hey! What can I getcha?” A cute barista asked, her blonde hair collected in a messy bun on top of her head. Her eyes were bright and friendly as she prepared to write on one of the cups to her left. She wore a square name tag with her first name written in a delicate script you could have imagined on any beautiful wedding invitation. Margot.

You offered her a kind smile. “Can I just get a medium iced caramel latte? With oat milk please,” you asked with a polite smile. You watched her ring it up and give you a total, reaching for a pen to write your name on the cup.

“Oh, um. Y/n,” You told her, inserting your debit card. She seemed nice. She had beautiful tattoos that snaked around her arms, and up toward her bicep, and she had several piercings.

“I love your tattoos,” you mentioned with a smile.

“Oh yeah?” She asked, rolling her arm forward to show you. “I love them, too. I got the full sleeve completed last month.” As you leaned over the counter to view the art on her arm, you couldn’t help but feel a twang of intrigue, and of curiosity.

“I don’t have any,” you admitted. “But maybe sometime soon,” you shrugged, placing your hands in your pockets as you stepped to the side, in case another customer were to step up to the counter.

“You should. But make sure you love whatever you want first. There’s a few that I regret,” she confessed. “But I can cover them, so it’s no big deal.” You watched as she wiped the marble counter as your espresso shots poured into your cup. A new customer stepped up to the register, so you ended the conversation naturally, accepting your latte a moment later with a friendly smile of gratitude.

This was your place. Many times, you’d escape your own mind by coming here to distract yourself with a new project. You realized in the moment of sitting down and taking a sip from your cup, that you felt better. For the first time in more than a week, you’d felt a sense of relief, even if it was in a miniscule way. You heard the tinkling of bells overhead as you emerged from the second chapter of the book you had picked up. The noise pulled your attention upward. As you looked up from your book, you felt your heart squeeze in your chest. You made direct eye contact with Danny Wagner as he walked through the door, his hair shimmering with rain, his leather jacket speckled with dripping raindrops.

“Y/n,” he said with genuine happiness. “It’s been a minute,” he said, approaching your table. “I haven’t seen you around.” You closed the book and set it to the side.

“How’d you know I’d be here?” You asked, the question coming out far more accusatory than you had intended.

“It’s your place,” he shrugged with a soft grin. You could have sworn you saw a flare of scarlet fill his cheeks for a moment. He cleared his throat. “I thought you’d end up here sometime or another,” he said. “May I sit?” He asked, gesturing to the chair in front of you.

“Sure,” you said, moving your items out of his way.

“How are you holding up?” He asked gently. “I- I heard what happened,” he continued, looking up at you with an almost sheepish expression. “I’m so sorry.”

You nodded, swallowing back both embarrassment and hurt. “I’m okay,” you nodded as you spoke, mostly to convince yourself that it was true. “He just didn’t feel the same way,” you shrugged. “It happens.”

“He’s your best friend, Y/n,” Danny pushed slightly. “It’s okay to be hurt. You don’t have to pretend around me. I’ve definitely been there. Except I never told them how I felt. And it still hurts.”

“I’m sorry, Danny.” You were quiet for a moment. “I just really miss him. I can’t believe I fucked everything up.” You groaned, covering your face and rubbing at your eyes with the butts of your palms.

“You didn’t fuck it up,” he argued. “In my opinion, honesty is the utmost form of respect. Do you love Jake? Putting your…feelings aside. Do you love him?”

“Of course I do,” you said almost immediately.

“And I know that he loves you, even if it’s not in the way that you had hoped. He hasn’t been himself since,” he admitted, sitting back in his seat, crossing his arms. “You both are so stubborn that you don't want to be the first person to reach back out. One of you has to clear the air. I don’t know who it will be. Just–” He reached out for your hand. “Don’t lose your best friend, Y/n.”

You sat there with Danny in a long moment of silence. “I just don’t feel like I should be the first person to say something. I just don’t have it in me to be that…” You couldn’t come up with the word.

“Vulnerable?” He offered. You nodded.

“I already embarrassed myself once.”

“You didn’t embarrass yourself, Y/n. Feelings aren’t embarrassing, even if it feels that way.”

“Then why did it feel so awful?” You asked, chuckling softly.

“Because sometimes having a heart sucks,” he grinned widely. For the first time in two weeks, you smiled genuinely.

“Maybe I should get that tattooed on my forehead.”

“I’ll do it for free in my back-alley tattoo parlor. We dole out free sepsis with each tattoo!”

“So generous!” You exclaimed sarcastically, playing along. “You know what I’ve been thinking about? Well, since I walked in here?”

“What?” He asked, raising his eyebrows.

“Doing something impulsive.” You mimicked his expression, raising your eyebrows with interest.

“What did you have in mind?” He asked suspiciously.

“I thought about getting a piercing,” You said matter-of-factly. “Right here,” you continued, pinching your ear at the top, outer edge. “A helix.” You bit your lip, smiling with enthusiasm.

“A cartilage piercing.” He said slowly, nodding his head. “You just decided this now?”

You nodded. “Yup. Wanna come with me?” You asked. “Maybe I could bully you into getting something.”

“Not a chance,” he said, narrowing his eyes with a mischievous glimmer.

“We’ll see about that, Wagner.” You rose from the table.

“Wanna ride?” He asked, standing.

“You rode the bike?” You asked, craning your neck to look outside. Luckily, the rain had cleared into a thin mist.

“How do you think I got so soaked?” He asked.

“Don’t kill me on that thing, please,” you insisted weakly. You had never ridden a motorcycle before.

“I’d never, ever let you get hurt, Y/n. Plus, if we’re acting on impulsive thoughts, you might as well jump on,” he said, reaching for your hand, turning the corner of the shop where he broke out in a sprint. You knew he was trying his best to cheer you up, and though you thought you would have fought it, his presence felt so refreshing, that you would have been stupid to say no. So, you ran, too.

The motorcycle was beautiful, and from what you could tell, brand new. It was a completely rebuilt vintage Harley, fitted with the sleekest, most attractive body, with a paint job that sparkled even in the overcast weather. More than anything, it was intimidating, and sexy. “Wow,” you said, your face slack from gawking at the vehicle.

“She’s beautiful, isn’t she?” He asked, pulling on a leather pair of gloves.

You nodded, swallowing, because you assumed that it was probably just as fast as it was incredibly beautiful. “I’ve never been on one,” you said hesitantly. He looked up at you with a curl in his lip.

“After today, you’ll crave it,” He mused, reaching for his helmet and putting it over your head, leaving the visor up so you could see. “I wasn’t expecting passengers, so you can use my helmet.” You didn’t say anything, but the pinch in your gut only furthered your nervousness.

You watched as he straddled the bike, his tall, strong frame mounting it with full confidence.

“Um,” you hesitated, stepping back a step. “I don’t know about this.”

“I promise you’re safe, Y/n. Trust me,” He said, reaching out his hand for you to take. “Hop on.” Despite your better judgment, you stepped forward, taking his hand. Swinging your leg over the bike, you swapped his hand to hold onto his shoulders.

“Ready?” He asked, turning his head over his shoulder.

“I don’t know,” You admitted. Your ears roared as the bike sprung to life, and before you knew it, Danny had revved the engine and lifted his foot off of the brake, lurching the bike forward, sending you scrambling to wrap yourself around him.

“Hold on,” He grinned, his curls already whipping around his face.

You pressed yourself into him out of necessity, thinking that if you didn’t, you’d most definitely fly off of the bike. You heard a chuckle vibrate through his body as he increased speed, feeling you tighten your grip around him. “Still interested in that piercing?” He asked loudly against the wind, slowing down at a red light.

“I don’t know,” you said, tossed with indecision.

“Tell you what. I’ll say fuck it and get that same piercing with you if you say yes.”

You chuckled with disbelief. “Says the guy who said no fucking way?”

“You’d be surprised, Y/n. I tend to loosen up around pretty girls.”

End of Part 1.

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perfectly-imperfect82 · 9 months

Text

Security part 2

There will also be a part 2 with an alternative ending!

Alex POV

I was sitting, talking to Christen, Tobin, and Megan when I heard the door open and saw Kelley enter. She took one look at me before she turn and went to join the table with the youngsters.

"What's going on between you and Kelley? You guys haven't spoke since practice yesterday" Megan asked looking at me

"We've spoken"

"Like two words" Tobin said

"We just don't agree on something, she'll get over it" I said looking over a Kelley who was glaring at me

That enough, I thought. I don't need Kelley attitude giving it away.

"Let's go talk" I said looking at her as she slowly followed me outside the room and down the hallway.

"What's your problem?"

"You know what my problem is" Kelley said with attitude

"You aren't still talking about (y/n) are you?" I asked causing Kelley to continue to glare at me as she responded "of course I'm still mad at you for that. You should go see her and say sorry. Let her met the real you, not the scared one. You may never get the chance to after this surgery. I mean it fricking heart surgery, she could died for all we know. And that's how you want to leave things with your daughter? You calling security on her?"

I stare at Kelley for a minute and as I felt all the emotions I've felt that I've pushed away reach me.

"She doesn't need me, she has her mom" I said sadly turning to walk away from her

"That's not what it looked like yesterday. She wanted to meet you. That seems like she wanted you in her life"

"Kelley! Don't you get it! I gave her up! I lost any right I had to be her mom or apart of her life that day." I said as tears reached my eyes that I quickly wiped

"You are the kid's mom?" I heard causing me to quickly turn and see Ash and Ali standing their in shock

"You aren't wrong, you did give up your right to be her mom. You didn't however give up your rights to be a part of her life, especially if she reached out to you" ash said

"I have to fix this" I said

"And we will help you" Ali said —————————————————

I ran as fast as I could to through the hospital, looking for (y/n) or her mom. I had to make it to her before her surgery, I had to let her know I was sorry.

I felt my lungs burn as ran, dodging people and things as I went. Ignoring the shouts to slow down or stop running. My only thought was to her reach her.

I round the corner and felt my heart rate increase even more and I felt sick to my stomach at the sight in front of me.

(Y/n) mom was in tears as the doctor held her.

"No, my baby" I hear her cry out repeatedly as the doctor continued to comfortable her.

I felt my throat tighten, as the realization of this means hit me. I'm too late. She already in surgery and she didn't make it. I'll never get to talk to her, build a relationship with her, see her grow up

The first sob ripped through my body as I fell to the ground with tears starting to fall down my face.

"I didn't make" I sobbed out as I felt someone pull me them as I felt there tears fall on to my shoulder

"I'm too late" I continue turning to look at who is holding them. I looked to see Kelley holding me as tears feel down her face as she looked at me.

"Alex" I heard Allie say as she gentle help me to my feet as (y/n) mom made her way to us with tears streaming down her face

She looked at me with a look of disgust.

"Now you decide to show up. Once she dead. You couldn't have figured this out yesterday after you called security on her or this morning before she went into surgery. To think that when I signed her adoption papers and made the amendment that if someday you realized your mistake of giving up a wonderful daughter. That I would give her back. You parents thought for sure that I would have her two years max. That you would come back for your daughter. How wrong we were." She said said causing more tears to come to my eyes as she put reality in to perspective for me.

I had know I could take her back, but I never did. I selfishly put soccer over my daughter. I put my life before my daughters.

"You know, she went into that surgery thinking you didn't love her. That's she was a mistake and should have never been born. I worked years to get those thoughts out of her head when she was younger and it took one conversation with you to pull them all back. I held her as she cried over it last night. A night that should have been calm and maybe full of nerves for her surgery today. You did that Alex and now you have to live with that for the rest of your life" she said as more tears fell down my face as angry rose in me as she walked away with the doctor

Angry at all my decisions, angry for making a young girl feel like a mistake, angry for never realizing what I gave up.

"Alex" Kelley said gently and I knew she was worried for my reaction

"We should go" Tobin said moving slowly to help guide me out but as soon as her and Kelley touched me, all my angry exploded

"DONT" I yelled shoving there hands away

"I fucked up" I said angrily pushing them away I went to move away from them, not sure to where I was heading

"I fucked when I gave her up! I continued to fuck over the years but not getting her back. I fucked up by calling security on her." I said angrily at them as I saw everyone worried faces, most of them having tears coming down there faces

"I managed to fuck up by not getting her in enough time to tell her I've always loved her. That my biggest regret was never getting her back. Now it's to late" I mumbled as all the anger left me and numbing feeling took over my body.

I would never forgive myself for this.

#woso imagine #uswnt x reader #uswnt imagines #woso x reader #alex morgan imagine #alex morgan x reader

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