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042502 · 2 days

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Little Kiss // M. Sturniolo x Reader.

SYNOPSIS: Trouble in paradise, don't worry, your lover Matt will give you a good time so you can forget your husband.

WARNINGS: Infidelity, married reader, manipulative Matt, obscene language, juicy sex, lovers, among others

NOTES: My first language is not English, so if you find any grammatical errors you already know why :)

MASTERLIST!!

"Bye Emmett."

and hung up. She covered her face with her hands, embarrassed by the fact that Matt saw her crying and just cried silently. When suddenly he felt Matt's hands on his face, removing his own. You didn't make any effort and when he looked ahead, you meet Matt's eyes that were looking at her with concern.

"Dont cry please. He doesn't deserve your tears" he mentions, as he ran his thumb over his cheeks, wiping away the tears.

"Take me Home. Please" she asked.

Matt opened his mouth to say something, but quickly closed it again. He shook his head and nodded.

"Okay. Let's go."

It had been two days since you last spoke to Emmett. And although with each passing day she felt even more hurt by the fact that he had been unfaithful to her, He couldn't deny that he was partly grateful that he was away from her. This way I could spend more time with Matt and enjoy his company.

Matt was smiling as he watched you cook. Yes, she could definitely be the perfect wife. Today he was with her. Since you invited him to lunch at your house, he didn't think twice and went.

"May I help you?" Matt asked, intending to help.

"Yes. You can set the table, I'll finish preparing lunch here."

Matt nodded and disappeared into the main dining room. Some time later, they were both having lunch together and enjoying a pleasant conversation.

When your cell phone started ringing and you stood up to answer it somewhere else, Matt took the moment to get up and walk around the house. He entered a room which he deduced was where you slept. She frowned when she saw a double bed. An image of you with a man who would be Emmett making love came to mind. Without meaning to, Matt growled loudly. His jaw was tense. He shook his head and an image of you sleeping in bed, alone and suffering from your husband's deception flashed through his mind. He clenched his fists. How she wanted to take Emmett's place, to let him know she wasn't alone, and to be able to make love to him again and again...

A ray of light came straight into his eyes when he tried to take a step, and only then did he realize that in the same room there was another door that gave access to some other room. The door was ajar and when he entered, his jaw dropped. It was your painting studio. There were paintings everywhere, some hanging, while others on the tables. Brushes and paints were on the floor. Everything was messy, but the paintings gave joy to the place.

Suddenly, he heard the door close. Matt turned around and saw you leaning against the door.

"I finally find you" walking towards him. "What are you doing?"

"I was just looking at your paintings" as he turned his gaze towards the paintings. "They are great."

"Thank you. The only thing I hope is that they are good enough to win the contest." smiled.

"They are. Believe me, I have faith that you will win.

Matt looked at her and took the moment to study her profile. His lips were parted and he had an immense desire to eat her with kisses. Biting his lip, Matt tried to control the urge to kiss you again, but he just couldn't and against his will, he found himself reaching out towards you, framing tentatively. You watch him and realizing his intention, you instinctively step back.

"No" you responded. "I'm married."

He growled.

"I swear if I hear you say that one more time I will fuck you without mercy and I won't care what you say."

Your face turned pale. A cloud of lust passed through Matt's eyes.

"You would not dare" you stutter.

"Of course" smiled wickedly. "But now, I want you to do me a favor."

"Which?"

"I would like you to make a portrait of me"

You bite your lip, and unconsciously, your eyes roam over Matt's body from head to toe.

"Do you want me to draw you?" you ask, staring at his shirt that hid killer abs underneath.

"Yes. I think you could make a good portrait of me" He smiled and for a moment you felt seduced by his smile.

"Mmh... Ok. I will try to draw you."

You walked over to the windows and pulled the curtains aside to let the light flood into the room. Then he moved an armchair, somewhat worn, and placed it in the middle of the room.

"Sit here" You point your finger at him.

Matt obeyed and sat where you indicated. While I tied your hair in a ponytail, you walk and take out your easel that was leaning in the corner to position it in front of Matt, far enough from him to see him clearly. You take out all your paints and a new canvas to set out to paint. Once ready, you look up and meet Matt's eyes looking at you carefully.

"Place your elbow on the edge of the chair and lean firmly on the backrest."

Matt obeyed.. You frown.

"Adjust your hair well to one side."

"Thus?" asked, running a hand through his hair and ruffling it.

"No" You shook your head. Then you walk until you are in front of him and bend down a little to sink your fingers into his hair and comb it. Closing the eyes, Matt hissed in pleasure and enjoyed the sensation of being caressed by your soft hands. She wondered where else on his body she could touch him, but quickly pushed that thought out of her mind. You remove your hands from his hair and for a split second Matt had the impulse to ask you not to stop touching him. "Just like that" you whisper "Do not move."

You move away to resume your previous posture. Matt’s eyes followed you. Raising one hand, slide the brush over the canvas and start painting. Matt reached out and rested his hand on her chin, rhythmically stroking her bottom lip with his index finger. You frown at him.

"Don't do that. It distracts me."

Matt's lips trembled and you knew he was fighting the urge to smile, but he finally caught himself and lowered his hand from his lips.

Some time later, you were almost finished. It was dusk, and the light was coming straight at Matt from the window, illuminating his handsome face.

"I'm almost done" she spoke, looking up to see him. "Aren't you bored?"

"Baby, I could stay here all day watching you."

You blush, and then return your eyes to the canvas to finish the painting. Ten minutes later, you sigh contentedly and set the brush aside, stepping back a little and admiring your painting approvingly.

"I've finished now" still with his eyes fixed on the painting. Matt got up from the couch and walked over.

"It turned out great on you" He reached out towards the painting, intending to touch it, but quickly pulled it back when you knocked. "Ow! What?"

"Do not touch her. The paint is still fresh" You glare at him.

He snorted. You are laughing.

"I'm sorry, I just don't want it to get ruined." you smile. A smile so damn perfect it made even Matt cringe.

Matt locked his eyes on your lips, for like the umpteenth time that day. They tempted him.

"All I want is to kiss you" admitted. "Is it too much to ask?"

"For a married woman it is."

"But he cheated on you."

"I know. But please don't repeat it to me again." you ask and suddenly your voice broke. "It hurts me to hear it."

"I'm sorry" He apologized. "It's just that I'm jealous. You don't know how much I envy your husband having these lips just for him." He reached out his hand and caressed your lip with his thumb. You smacked your lips and Matt moaned. "Baby, wouldn't you be able to share, even for a second, these lips with me?"

You look it. You wanted to kiss him too. Very much.

"Alright. But just a small kiss" You agree, suddenly blushing.

"A little kiss" he repeated. "That was enough for me."

And before you could speak again, Matt leaned in and kissed you. You close your eyes and receive the kiss by wrapping your arms around his neck. Matt grunted as your tongue caressed his, and unconsciously, he found himself clinging closer to him and kissing her desperately.

Matt's lips never left yours as he began to walk, forcing you to back away and fall into the chair where he was sitting seconds ago. You straddle him and break the kiss, moaning as Matt's hands slide to your ass and squeeze it, bringing you closer to his hard erection. And damn, how much it turned him on to have you on top of him, with your sexes rubbing against each other.

"Oh, shit" Matt growled.. "If you make me that hard with a simple kiss, I don't want to imagine what it will be like when I fuck you."

And he kissed you again. Your hands moved down to his chest and you heard Matt moan as you caressed him, cinching each of his muscles. He was very strong, and as you kissed him, you wondered how hard he could move if you had him inside you.

Matt's hands slowly moved up from your hips to your waist, framing each of your curves. He felt you shudder as he went up and he liked that.

"Do you like me touching you, sweet honey?" he asked with a rough voice.

You moan in response as his hands rested on your breasts, each hand on each breast. He caressed them over the fabric of your shirt and your nipples reacted instantly, hardening. You throw your head back, enjoying his touch and suddenly doubt arose within you. Were you doing the right thing by subjecting yourself to this? Would you be capable of being unfaithful to your husband?

Only then when Matt's hand slipped under your shirt were you able to react and you placed both hands on Matt's shoulders, pushing him away from you.

"Fuck, Matt, It was supposed to be just a little kiss..."

"It's not my fault you make me like this. Come on, I know you want it just like I do."

"I can not do it, im sorry." He tried to lift me up, but Matt stopped me by firmly grabbing my hips.

"Why not?"

"I am married."

Suddenly, a fury flashed through Matt's eyes that you had never seen before and it scared you. You stand up, but quickly find yourself trapped by Matt's arms that kept you cornered between the wall of the room and his body. Swallowing, you look up, meeting Matt's eyes staring at you with an anger that froze you.

"I'm sick of hearing that damn excuse" he complains through clenched teeth "Understand, your husband does not love you. If he really loved you he should never have been unfaithful to you."

Bile rose in your throat as you heard his cold words. You swallow, in a failed attempt to untie the knot that had formed in you.

"That is not true." you murmured "He loves me."

"No!" He slammed his fist into the wall, right on the side of your head. You startle. "Answer to me, Has he called you again?"

You shake your head, unable to articulate any words.

"You see it, If he really cared about you, he should already be here with you, and not on his fucking business trip. He does not love you."

Your eyes watered. You purse your lips, trying not to burst into tears, but before you could think clearly, you found yourself throwing yourself into Matt's arms and crying into his shoulder. Matt rubbed your back, and placed a soft kiss on the top of your head, still not letting go.

"You're right, Matt" you cry. "I'm a stupid. It's the truth, he doesn't love me. Oh, Why did this happen to me? Am I that bad of a wife?"

"Don't say that, you... you are perfect. You are not to blame for anything, it is your husband who is the idiot. you're just in love..."

You pull away from him a little, enough to look him in the eyes. Your eyes were filled with tears and Matt's heart sank.

"Please make me forget it. Help me forget it."

And that was just what Matt wanted to hear. A smile formed on his lips.

"Baby, I'll make you forget it and much more than that." He grabbed your chin and brought his lips closer. "I'll make you enjoy it as much as I do."

And he kissed you again with the same desperation as always.

You sigh as Matt set you down on the bed and started kissing his neck. Raising his hands to your neck, he buries his fingers in your hair and clenches his hands into fists, caressing him in a way that makes him moan with pleasure. Matt moved away a little and kissed you with a demand that left you breathless, while Matt's hands went down and unbuttoned the buttons of your shirt in an agile movement, one by one. He licked his lips as his eyes focused on a pretty white bra, which hugged and hid large breasts. Unable to take it anymore, Matt slid his hands behind your back to unhook her bra and capture one of her breasts with his mouth. You close your eyes, moaning and throwing your head back.

"You are so beautiful, sweet honey." his hot breath hitting her hardened nipple. "You drive Me crazy."

He said it in such an intimate way that it made her moan with pleasure, asking for more. You lower your hands to Matt's hips and grab the hem of his shirt, pulling it up and off of him to reveal his torso. You rest your hands on it, each hand on each shoulder and you go down slowly, caressing. Matt's muscles tensed.

"Jesus ." he moaned. "I would like to know what other things your hands are used for besides painting..."

You smile at him and bite your lip, then undo his belt buckle and unzip his pants. You gasp when you see his huge erection, covered by the thin fabric of his boxers. Tentatively, you reach out to touch him and the moment your fingers brushed against his erection, he groaned.

"Baby, I really wish you could do that again, but this time without anything in the way."

You laugh and Matt sighs as you yank his boxers down, freeing his member. You gasp again. How could you describe it? His erection was imposing, demonstrating masculinity and authority in any direction he pointed. With your index finger, you touch the tip of his penis and hear him grunt. Then you take it with a closed fist and begin to, very slowly, slide it up and down, along its entire length. Matt parted his lips, moaning.

Matt looked down and watched as your small hands masturbated him. You increase speed. He growled loudly and with eyes dark with lust, he watched as you smiled and leaned over. Matt pulled away instantly, gasping.

"No. If you suck me, I'll end up cumming and I don't want to do it without you." I confess to you with a hoarse voice.

And he kissed you again. Closing your eyes, you wrapped your arms around his neck to deepen the kiss and pulled you closer to him. It was a demanding and wild kiss, showing him how much he wanted you.

Suddenly, a noise. Someone was calling the house phone. Matt growled against your lips.

"ignore it." Matt ordered.

You nod and kiss him again, while the phone didn't stop ringing. Oh, What did that man have that every time you kissed him, he made you forget everything.

The phone stopped ringing, but it didn't take long for the answering machine to answer.... and Emmett's voice will be heard.

"Dear. I can't wait to see you again, I have so many things to tell you" sigh. "Anyway, I just wanted to remind you that I'll be back home next week. Don't forget that I love you despite everything... goodbye."

Matt stepped away from you and stood up abruptly. She looked. His teeth were so clenched that you were even afraid he would hurt himself.

"Do not believe him" his voice comes soft from his lips. "Please don't believe him."

"I already told you that I don't care about Emmett. He is the one I want and need right now."

Matt looked at you, his eyes shining with something that looked like joy.

"Really?"

"Yes. Now come here and show me when you want me."

He kissed you once again, testing with his own tongue the characteristic flavor of your mouth that every time he tried it, he felt that it drove him more and more crazy. Pulling away from you a little, Matt placed his hands on your hips and pulled your jeans down, out of his sight. I look at you. She looked beautiful with only the thong on.

"You have a beautiful legs." He flattered you, sliding his hand up your thigh, up and down, and so on.

Shivers ran through you as you closed your eyes and let yourself be carried away by the sensation of being caressed by Matt's warm hands. Only then do you open them when you feel Matt start to pull down your panties. You look down, meeting Matt's lustful eyes.

"I love you so much" he whispered eagerly. "I'll fuck you until you can't stand up."

Matt caressed your thighs once more. He placed his hands on your hips.

"Open your legs..."

You obey instantly. Matt positioned himself in the middle of them, his erection rubbing against the entrance to your vagina. Your mouth opened in a perfect 'o' when Matt thrust in suddenly, and instinctively, you arched your hips. He parted his lips, remaining still inside you.

"You have a delicious pussy." Matt growled. "Someday I'll try it with my own mouth."

You moan and very slowly, Matt began to move. He groaned as your tight pussy enveloped him, hugging him around him.

"Shit" Matt moaned. "I'm crazy about you."

Matt looked down and watched the exciting scene of his member disappearing into your pussy as he pushed deeper into you. An expression of pleasure appeared on your face and you ran a hand over your forehead, in an attempt to remove the excess sweat. He leaned down and kissed you, then buried his nose in your hair and inhaled.

"You smell so good." Matt sighed, letting the scent take over. "Roses and jasmine."

Grabbing your thighs, Matt sank completely into you. You scream, not caring how it sounded and dig your nails into Matt's arms. Narrowing his eyes, he hissed in pleasure.

"Faster" you ask. "Please, I need it."

Matt growled and increased the speed of his attacks. His hips moved from front to back, in the same rhythm that made you go crazy. The bed creaked and hit violently against the wall of the room. And Matt couldn't help but roar out loud, when he felt you tighten your grip around him.

"That's it baby" He moaned, feeling how your wet flesh began to hug his penis tightly. "cum for me..."

You came instantly, saying Matt's name in a scream that echoed in his ears. Closing his eyes, Matt threw his head back and growled once more.

Matt collapsed on top of you, his nose buried in your hair and breathing heavily into your ear. He moved and lay down next to you. She turned her head and looked at you, caressing your cheek with a strange tenderness that touched you.

"Your husband is a lucky man. I envy him." admitted.

"Please, I don't want to talk about him right now. I just want to think about you right now."

You snuggled into his side, resting your head on his bicep and closed your eyes. Matt put his arms around your waist and placed a soft He kissed your forehead, and then brought you even closer to him and fell into a very deep sleep.

NOTES: Remember to hit the heart and share it with your friends! Thanks for reading^^ If you want to be part of the taglist leave a comment!

TAGLIST: @luverboychris @alexandernvr @prisciliin @sturncakez @imwetforyourmom @hotreaderliin @tillies33ssss @sturnioloxlver

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wittlesissyb4by · 13 hours

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Normalcy

"I'm so sorry! This…this never happens!!”

She drew her lips in a line and nodded, like she’d heard it a thousand times before, then went back to smacking her gum as she balled up the soggy diaper with practiced precision.

“No! I’m serious! I’m a grown man!! It’s not like I walk around pissing myself all the time!”

She scoffed, then shrugged. “Well you weren’t doing much walking—first of all—more like waddling. But you mean to tell me you never wet yourself? You’ve never wet a diaper before?”

“No…i…”

She inclined her head to the corner of the room, where a big sack of loaded diapers sat in a blue see-through bag.

“Okay…fine, I do. But only after a very long time period!! You don’t understand! My wife will leave me in them for the whole day!”

“I’ve only been here for an hour…”

“Yes but…” i wanted to tell her that was because my wife had made me drink three entire baby bottles of nasty fluids before she left. I tried to hold it. I really did. I didn’t want her little ‘babysitter’ to see me in a soggy diaper. In hindsight, i should have just let it all out with my wife and begged her to change me before she went off with that other dude. “It’s not a regular thing!”

“She told me you wet the bed.” The girl said, hardly even blinking as she taped my plump padding into a ball.

It was hard to explain that one away. Sure, there were several drunken nights where I’d blacked out and woken up with wet sheets in our marital bed. My wife was none too happy, but somehow those incidents kept happening even when I was sober, until she finally grew sick of it.

“So how long have you been in diapers?” The girl asked, setting my old one to the side and grabbing a fresh pamper. She asked it so casually, like it was a common point of conversation.

“3 months…” I said, unable to deny it anymore. “For the last two weeks it’s been 24/7. She…threw out all my underwear.”

The girl nodded as if nothing were out of the ordinary, tapping my thighs, apparently signaling for me to lift. I did so without incident, allowing her to slide the new diaper underneath.

“Do you make poo poo’s in them too?”

“No!” I said instinctively, but again she looked at me like a rugrat attempting an obvious lie.

“So if I go put your head in that bag, you won’t suffocate under a cloud of your own shit?”

Her words were cold, I had a feeling she’d do it too.

“Okay…fine. I do…”

“Do what?”

“P-poop…”

“Poop where?” She grinned, still smacking her gum, “I want you to tell me.”

I scrunched up my nose, feeling my cheeks flush with embarrassment. “I poop in the diapers.”

But she wasn’t satisfied, “now tell me wike a baybee!”

She couldn’t be serious, but when her face turned stern with impatience, it told me that she probably wasn’t someone I should cross.

“Uh…i…” I felt my voice growing smaller, higher, “I make poo poo’s in my pampies!!”

She smiled wide at that. “How do you poop?”

“I…what?” I asked, voice returning to normal.

“How do you do it? Do you crouch? Get down on hour haunches and make a pushy? Or have you learned to go in any position already? All the men I babysit have a different method. It’s adorable. One of them even has to sit on the potty in order to go!“

“I just…do it…I guess. I dunno?” Usually squatting, it came out surprisingly easy that way, but I didn’t want to tell her that, and she didn’t press further, just seemed intent on making me blush.

“Well…I don’t feel like changing a poopy diaper today. So you’re going to get the plug, okay?”

P-plug?

She reached into her diaper bag that she brought herself, and pulled out a rather large silicon buttplug.

“Oh…i dunno…” I said, squirming on top of the diaper splayed out beneath me. “My wife and I don’t really do butt stuff…”

But she just smiled and squirted some lube on it, painting the glob over it with her fingers. “It’s cute that you think you have a say in the matter.” She giggled, “legs up!”

Before I knew it, my ankles were in the air. It was like she had some sort of power over me that I couldn’t resist.

I winced as she pressed the plug to my hole, gently working it in and out, in and out. I had to bite my lip to keep the squeals (and moans?) in. It felt…surprisingly good.

By the time she’d worked it all the way in, there was a little puddle leaking out of my chastity cage. It had spread onto my belly button while my legs were in the air.

“Sorry…” I said as she grabbed a baby wipe to clean up the sticky mess I’d made.

"Don't worry about it.” She smiled, amused. “It's...normal..."

“Is it?” I asked, feeling a sense of relief.

“Sure.” She shrugged, but it came off sarcastic. “Well…not normal to be a grown man in diapers. To poop said diapers. Not normal to have your wife go off and hire a babysitter to change your diapers. And definitely not normal to have another man fuck your wife. But leaking a little cum through your chastity cage while getting a plug shoved up your ass?” She tossed the sticky wipe down into my open diaper, lifting the front so she could tape it on, “yea, I guess that’s pretty ‘normal’…”

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rubylovessharks · 2 days

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Floyd Leech x gn!reader READER IS NOT YUU/MC OK GUYS i finally got an idea :) soso- you know these couples who'd do each others nails, or one does for both? THIS is my idea. i also think itll be good that its gel polish cuz i do that so its easier for me :) alsooo i promised to tag @night-dream3r this is my first time tagging hope i did this right-

As everyone would have guessed Floyd's nails were in a dire situation. One nail being too long on one hand, and two other long nails on the other. A nail that would be too pointy and sharp while the one right next too it would be the complete opposite. So as Floyd Leech's partner for life you took it upon yourself to help him out!

Ever since he saw your pretty nails and the ones you have done for your friends he had to 'book an appointment', not that it actually is one. Every month, and sometimes in a few weeks(tots not cuz he breaks 'em and such, by accident), you and Floyd would have a date like the one you are on today, where you do his nails as he talks about all kind of different things.

As Floyd was talking about a particularly annoying thing that happened to him you were getting out the color you'll put other the coat that has already been under the lamp, a color you remember he once said would "give me a totally new look!"

You pull out..the pink.

"heeey you remembered I once said I wanted to try this one!" he gives you his goofy smile you adore so much, "well I think a 'new look' would definitely spice some things up in your 'boring' life, as you'd like to say." You move your eyes to focus on the small brush that comes out of the pink bottle and start to paint your boyfriend's nails in a pastel pink.

Stroke after stroke you paint each nail in careful manner while Floyd would sometimes stop talking and do something with his open hand. Once you are done you start to pack your items only to be stopped by Floyd's hand. "What's up?" "I don't want this color anymore.. Do them again!" by his face you can tell he isn't kidding, but that change of facial expression at the end makes you think it might be something else...

Could it be that Floyd is trying to make you stay a little longer....?

#disney twisted wonderland #twst #twst wonderland #floyd leech #floyd twst #twisted wonderland #twst floyd #floyd leech x reader #floyd leech fluff #twst x reader

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thistlefaethfort · 11 hours

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YELLOW

— read this first or this might not make sense!

— ao3 link!

If Sandra Lynn had her way, the Solesian Rangers work schedule would be a little more focused on rest and recovery, but she couldn’t really complain about the leniency the organisation had for people with families at home. No one had been more quick to sign off on her time off requests than her manager, she knew that Sandra Lynn was competent enough to catch up as quickly as needed. In a few months, she thought she would probably offer her the role herself. Today though, she finished up at lunch time and arrived home, shoulders weary with the weight of yellow paint cans.

It was a buttery, blonde colour that made her itchy to look at. It was the colour of Baxter’s feathers when they were downy and he was so young that sometimes she let him sleep at the foot of her bed, even on the nights Fig had crawled in between her and Gilear. It was something warm that got sharp late in the day, when the sun settled on it low in the sky late in the afternoon. Like milk poured in a sweet honey tea. It was golden and there were enough cans of it left on the shelf that Sandra Lynn thought people probably underestimated it. She thought it would make the chapel look like a bedroom.

It took her a handful of hours to painstakingly move everything away from the walls: the bedframe, the posters, the duffel bag that she point blank refused to look at for longer than a few seconds at a time — just in case. Once everything was piled up in the centre and covered with a tarp, Sandra Lynn put on an old shirt that was probably not hers but had ended up in her closet anyway and pulled out her brushes from under the sink. She washed the walls, scrubbed at them until dust stopped falling from the stone, and stared at the stained glass for long enough that the sun shifted to glare back through the angel's golden halo.

Then the door opened further across the house and she grinned to herself; it was easier now, to breathe knowing all the kids were safe under her roof, because she knew they were taking care of each other. There was no reason to hover around all the places her adopted and not yet adopted kids might be, because she was trying to trust that they would come to her if they needed a mom, or an adult, or a squirrel killer. Sandra Lynn could try to trust them for that. Fabian yelled something and Jawbone howled in a way that usually meant hang tight. Aelwyn spoke and there was a higher pitched response in that oh so similar Fallinel accent that was getting fainter as the two disappeared up the stairs. Fig cackled and there was the sound of at least four footsteps pounding across the house to where she knew her girl kept her guitar. She was distracted, not noticing when her final kid reappearing home for the day emerged through the door to her room.

It took a lot of effort not to jump and drop the paintbrush when Kristen’s voice, muffled by what looked like a fistful of popcorn that sprayed halfway across the room when she said ‘thandragh thlinn?’ Maybe time had gotten away from her, because she hadn’t expected for the girl to see the room until it was done, and her mind had already sprinted away to try and figure out if any beds were going spare tonight or if they should set up the den sleepover style. Pointedly, she didn’t think about how rare a night was where she didn’t hear light footsteps pattering about the house in the early hours. When everyone was home, there were ten kids with their own bedrooms (except for Adaine who let her sister share), and all of them were traumatised. They were good to each other though, and on the nights she thought the awake one might need a hug or a mug of tea, there was always a second teenager perched next to them; eyes blurry with sleep but risen for their friend anyway. She must have been quiet too long, because the voice started again, clear now, ‘are you painting in here? Did I forget you were doing this? I’m sorry —’ Sandra Lynn cut her off ‘ — I was wrong. Kristen I was wrong to put you in here and now the house is filling up and I don’t have a different room for you, so I picked up some paint,’ her fingers spasmed. It had been a bad, thoughtless call at the time. Kristen had grown up groomed and hurt by a church and she had to be reminded of every time she went to bed or woke up, and now she was sleeping in it alone, without even a God to pray goodnight to. She picked up one of the cans and showed her the colour, a glob hitting the tarp she had laid down over the old wood floors, and tried for a smile, ‘yellow, but not as bright as your tracksuit.’

Much to Sandra Lynn’s horror (because her shirt was covered in paint and her kid was wearing something other then that tracksuit for once and she would do anything to encourage her to wear other things as often as possible), Kristen’s eyes started to shine and her shoulders sagged. The woman dodged drips of paint and made her way to the girl, squeezing her shoulder hard enough to drag her back to earth. Her voice cracked and suddenly Sandra Lynn didn’t know whether or not she was going to cry herself, but she did laugh, just a little and quietly. ‘You got some muscle going kid, you sure you don’t wanna join the ranger track?’ She asked, mostly joking but not all the way. All of her Bad Kids were going to excel at whatever it was they chose to do in the end, but she hoped they thrived as a group first, she hoped they did whatever they wanted and it never hurt. Her smile grew a little bittersweet and she hoped Kristen didn’t catch it as she reminded herself that that was never how an adventurer’s story ended.

She offered out a paintbrush, ‘you gonna help me finish these last few walls or are you crashing at someone else’s room tonight?’

#sharkie writes #fantasy high #fantasy high junior year #fhjy #dimension 20 #the bad kids #sandralynn faeth #kristen applebees #jawbone o'shaughnessey #adaine abernant #fig faeth #figueroth faeth #fabian aramais seacaster #aelwyn abernant #gorgug thistlespring #riz gukgak #d20 #fantasy high ficlet

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slaymitchabernathy · 2 days

Text

Coming Home

| a companion to 'His & Hers.' |

Coriolanus anxiously taps his foot on the pavement. Around him is the sound of trains pulling in and out of the station along with the shouts of family and friends reuniting with one another after a trip. Loved ones throw their arms around each other, pressing kisses to cheeks and murmuring words of relief for their safe travels.

His loved one isn’t here yet.

She’ll be here any minute now. Unless the train has gone off the tracks and she’s died a sudden and gruesome death. But that hasn’t happened, he tells himself. Besides, he would have been alerted if such a thing was to happen.

Soarynn and several other Capitol ladies took a luxurious trip to District Four to visit one of the many resorts that the Capitol has. Soarynn had been so excited to see the ocean for the first time. She talked about it for weeks on end once he finally agreed to let her go. And Soarynn didn’t need his permission. Not when the trip was already paid for and she was simply to be an invited guest.

But she cared about his approval. His trust. Coriolanus knew that she wouldn’t go if he hadn’t been okay with it. And he wasn’t okay with it. A million horrible things could happen on this trip. The worst part was that he couldn’t protect her from any of them, not when she was outside the safety of the Capitol, out of his reach.

But all had been well according to Soarynn’s very detailed phone calls he got every night when she called him before going to bed. Soarynn had been nervous in her own way. Mostly because going on this trip meant leaving the most important thing in her entire life behind.

Petunia.

Coriolanus had rolled his eyes at the detailed checklist his girlfriend had written for him. Petunia was a cat, not a human. The list was ridiculous but Coriolanus made sure to follow each thorough instruction. Even if it meant brushing the feline three times a day. He didn’t even brush his own hair three times a day.

Soarynn had also been nervous to her lack of travel experience. She’d never left the Capitol before, not even before the war. Coriolanus hadn’t traveled as extensively as some of their other friends but he knew what lay out there in the Districts. Danger, hunger, desperation. And Soarynn was in the thick of it for the past five days.

A small part of him hoped she’d call him crying, asking for him to get her home immediately because she was scared but it felt as if he was given the opposite reaction from her new experiences.

“Oh, Coryo it’s beautiful! We went swimming today! We’re going to the spa tomorrow! I caught a fish today!” Soarynn had the time of her life.

Coriolanus was happy that she had a good time, that she hadn’t fallen ill or gotten attacked by a psychotic District citizen. He checks his watch again and frowns when he sees that her train is now two minutes late. The Capitol’s train schedule is known for its promptness. Not today it seems.

Coriolanus glances around the platform and pins down a Peacekeeper who looks like he’s doing a whole lot of nothing. He strides over to him, chest puffed out, head held high. “Excuse me, I came to inquire about the train schedules,” he says. The man turns around and grunts, “Of course sir. What train were you inquiring about?” Coriolanus pulls the neatly folded piece of paper out of his coat pocket which has all of the details about Soarynn’s trip written in her neat handwriting.

“It’s the three o’clock train,” he reads, “coming from the District Four Costal Resort.” The Peacekeeper nods and looks down at his own watch, “Hmm. Running late I see. A bit unusual.” Coriolanus nods but the man’s words do nothing to calm his nerves. “Let me go ask,” the Peacekeeper says before walking off to what must be the train control center. Coriolanus leans towards the white line that’s clearly painted along the edge of the platform. There are several large signs around the entire station that read: “Please do not cross the white line for the safety of all passengers.”

He hasn’t really paid it much mind in the past but now it seems to be quite the bother. How can he not cross it once he sees the love of his life? And as much as he loves her, Soarynn can be quite slow when she wants to be and he knows that she’ll take her sweet time getting off that train rather than leaping off and running into his arms.

He’ll just have to be patient.

The past five days have been short of torture. Waking up to an empty bed, to an empty apartment has been the worst. To know that she won’t be there when he gets home, won’t be smiling up at him and giggling. He found himself looking into their closet, expecting her to be getting dressed for the day only to find it dark and empty. Soarynn was his other half, the missing piece.

“It appears there was a weather delay.” The voice pulls Coriolanus from his nagging thoughts and he looks back at the Peacekeeper, “Weather delay?” He repeats, knowing that he’s never heard of such a thing. “Yes, there was some severe weather in Four. The train should be arriving shortly.” The man gives him a curt nod before walking away again and leaves Coriolanus with even more troubling thoughts. He’s definitely going to have a word with Festus Creed who organized and paid for this trip. Festus is dating Aurora Windsnap who’s a good friend of Soarynn’s and Coriolanus highly doubts that Festus has been as concerned as he’s been about his girlfriend’s wellbeing.

Clearly not considering the train station is lacking a certain Festus Creed or any of the other boyfriends for that matter. Once again, Snow lands on top.

He reaches into his pocket once again and feels the stem of the single rose he’s brought for Soarynn, and it gives him some comfort to know that it’ll soon be in her possession.

Then he hears it. The whistle of a train. He looks down the tunnel of the station and watches as the front light of the train gets closer and closer until it’s slowly pulling into the station. He tries to catch a glimpse of Soarynn through the train windows but he can’t see her. He tries to step closer but a sharp whistle prevents him from doing so. He looks in the direction of the whistle to see a train attendant pointing at the white line he just so recklessly crossed.

Coriolanus resists rolling his eyes and takes an exaggerated step back for good measure. Clearly, this train attendant doesn’t understand the severity of the situation. He watches people slowly descend from the train, luggage in hand. People are wrapped in their winter coats and scarves, and women hold onto their hats and gloves.

He holds the rose behind his back.

He can hear the girls before he sees them, shrieking about something that probably isn’t that funny. They’re also bundled up in their winter coats and they oh-so-slowly descend the train steps. Coriolanus is both impressed and somewhat concerned at the amount of luggage they’ve managed to bring for a five day trip. Soarynn is no better though, in fact, he had to put his foot down when she tried to take a sixth trunk of belongings.

“You’re going for five days, not five years darling,” he’d said to her as he took the trunk from her hands.

The girls notice him immediately although he’s hard to miss considering he’s the tallest person at the station. They all whisper and giggle as they point at him, the wonderful, devoted, and doting boyfriend who’s come to collect his girlfriend from the train station. He doesn’t doubt that their boyfriends have sent for cars to take them home but he didn’t want to wait any longer than he had to.

He cranes his neck and tries to see Soarynn but she has yet to make an appearance. Has something happened? Is she not on the train? Did they confiscate her Capitol documents?

Coriolanus had been very adamant about making sure that all of Soarynn’s Capitol documentation was in order before she left for this trip. The documentation included her Capitol citizenship papers, her birth certificate, her proof of residency and her citizens license. Soarynn has teased him about how thoroughly he’d gone about it but he would never forgive himself if for some reason she was detained for not having enough documentation. Better safe than sorry.

Finally, he sees her blonde head of hair. She’s wearing a light pink coat with a matching scarf and cream colors heels. She looks beautiful. She says something to her friends as she gracefully descends from the train, unaware of his presence. Her luggage follows behind her in the arms of a struggling attendant who clearly underestimated the weight of his girlfriend’s belongings. Soarynn is only carrying a small handbag, one he bought her specifically for this trip. Clemensia points in his direction and Soarynn finally sees him.

Her face immediately brightens up and she breaks into a big smile before she begins running towards him. Normally, Coriolanus Snow would behave with decorum and not run across the train platform. But he doesn’t quite give a fuck about manners right now. He takes long strides towards her, and his own smile grows bigger and bigger until she’s flying into his arms. Soarynn’s giggles fill his ears and they’re the sweetest melody he’s ever heard. Her arms are thrown around his neck and he wraps both arms around her waist, slightly lifting her off the ground and spinning them around.

He heard a few whistles and clap but all of their surroundings fade away the second Soarynn pulls away from the embrace and he lays eyes on her beautiful face. She looks even more tan which makes her eyes pop. The weather was clearly warmer than it is now in the Capitol. “Hi,” she says, unable to contain her excitement. Coriolanus chuckles and gently sets her down, “Hello my darling.”

He wastes no time in cupping her face with his hand and pressing a soft kiss to her lips. It feels like it’s been an eternity since he’s felt her lips against his. Soarynn sighs into the kiss, her fingers carding into his hair. They stay like that for a moment, re-familiarizing each other before they pull away. “I missed you,” is the first thing that leaves his mouth. He did. He really, really did. Soarynn being gone reminded him of a life before he knew her. When even though he had a place to live, he didn’t have a place to come home to, someone to come home to.

Soarynn was his home.

Soarynn smiles sweetly and nods, “I missed you terribly as well. I couldn’t stop thinking about you the entire trip.” Her words make his heart swell. To know that he was constantly on her mind is all her needs to know that this is the girl he’s going to marry. He pulls her closer against him, “Then we should never leave one another again,” he decides before leaning down to press a kiss to the top of her head. Soarynn giggles and gives his cheek a playful pinch, “You mean to tell me that you were without anything to do while I was gone?”

Coriolanus thinks back to how he’s spent the last five miserable days without her. Most of his time was spent at work. It had gotten to the point where his boss had to tell him to leave and get some fresh air. Coriolanus felt that work would serve as a good distraction from thinking about Soarynn every minute of every hour until she came back home.

He had dinner with some friends, all of whom were also missing their girlfriends since they were also on the trip. He also spent some time with Petunia which was awkward for the both of them. Soarynn was their common ground and Petunia was constantly pacing the apartment, meowing for Soarynn. She’d be happy to have her home.

He shakes his head, “Absolutely nothing.” They both grin and Soarynn gives his cheek a peck, “Well I’m home my handsome boy. You’ll never be without me again.” If only she knew how much those words meant to him. Coriolanus is quick to present the rose to her and Soarynn softly gasps, “It’s beautiful Coryo. Thank you, it’s the perfect welcome gift.”

꧁ ꧂

Coriolanus feels himself teeming with pride for a job well done as they leave the train station. All of Soarynn’s belongings follow behind them on a large cart. Soarynn herself has been collected and is safely pressed to his side as they walk out onto the cold Capitol street. “Are you hungry?” He asks, looking down at his girlfriend who’s looking up at the gray sky. It’ll probably snow tonight. “Hmm? Oh no. We ate on the train,” she says, shaking her head. Coriolanus figures they should just head home then, let Soarynn get settled back in before it gets too dark. Maybe he’ll take her out to a nice dinner tonight to celebrate her homecoming.

He makes sure Soarynn is tucked away in the car before watching two attendants attempt to fit all his girlfriend’s luggage into the trunk. They manage it eventually and Coriolanus rewards their work with a generous tip before getting into the car himself. He nods at their driver, “We’ll be going home.”

Soarynn rests her head on his shoulder as the car pulls away from the curb. “It’s so strange being back home. I feel as though I’m a completely different person than I was when I left.” Coriolanus can’t stop from smiling at her innocent claims of being a completely new person after five days at a Capitol resort. He knows for a fact that she never left the property or interacted with any District citizens for that matter. Still, it was a big journey for her and he listened to her talk about all the things they did on the drive home.

Soarynn is still rambling when the elevator doors open up to the familiar sight of their front doors. “I can’t wait to see Petunia!” She says, bouncing on her toes. Coriolanus hums as he digs through his pockets to locate the keys. “She’s certainly missed you.” Soarynn being gone has to be the closest thing Petunia will ever come to as neglect. Five head scratches instead of ten, heaven forbid!

The moment he unlocks the doors Soarynn darts in, calling out Petunia’s name. Coriolanus brings in all her luggage, setting it down in the foyer before he ventures further into the penthouse to find Soarynn.

He finds her in their bedroom, lying on the bed with a white ball of fluff lying on top of her. “You two are the most dramatic women I have ever met,” he tells them, ignoring the hiss he gets from Petunia.

Soarynn is quick to soothe over any wounds, “Shhh. Don’t pay attention to him my darling. He doesn’t know how hard it’s been for the both of us,” she tells the cat. Coriolanus scoffs and walks into the closet, his coat is beginning to feel too heavy and he doesn’t want to sweat through a good dress shirt.

When he comes out he finds them in the exact same position he left them in. Petunia looks like she’s gloating from his point of view. She looks all too smug as Soarynn showers her with pets and kisses. “You remembered to feed her right?” Soarynn asks, looking up at him, “And to brush her?” Coriolanus hums, “It was quite hard to forget to do anything with that wonderful list you left for me.” He eyes the detailed list that sits on his nightstand. He'd followed the instructions religiously because he just knew that Soarynn would find out if he skipped a step.

Soarynn blushes but nods, "Well there's no harm in being overly prepared. Isn't that right Petunia?"

Coriolanus decides to leave the bedroom since they clearly aren't done with their reunion. Besides, he has a few things to go over in his study that relate to work.

꧁ ꧂

His study is as impressive as his office at work, filled with mahogany furniture, books lining the shelves, and comfortable armchairs. There's a small loveseat pressed against the wall across from his desk, right under the window. Soarynn and Petunia will often curl up on the loveseat, resting their heads on the window seal to watch the people below them. It's moments like that where Coriolanus feels that Soarynn most definitely could be a cat in the way she perches herself on the furniture.

He pulls out the files he's brought home from work and begins to go over them, making notes when needed. He glances at the clock that sits on his desk but his eyes travel to the framed photograph of him and Soarynn from a year ago. He loves the photo, loves how big Soarynn's smile is while he presses a kiss to her neck while she tries to pull away even though she loves neck kisses. He loves the way his large hands wrap around her small waist perfectly. They're perfect together.

A soft knock at the door reminds him of where he is and what he's supposed to be doing and he looks up at the door to find Soarynn peeking her head in, "Come in darling," he says, beckoning her to enter. Another thing he loves about Soarynn, she never enters his space without permission. The last thing he needs is a girlfriend who snoops.

Soarynn changed into some more comfortable clothes, pajamas to put it plainly which lets him know that they won't be going out to dinner tonight. Fine by him, that just means he gets her all to himself. "Are you busy?" She asks, stopping at the side of his desk, her blue-gray eyes scanning the documents that lay before him. He shakes his head, "Not at all. Is there something you need?" Soarynn bites her lip and rocks back and forth on her heels for a moment which is a tell that she's going to ask for something she probably shouldn't ask for.

"Well...Clemmie just called and I thought maybe she might have left something behind but it turns out that the girls are already planning another trip, and this time our boyfriends are allowed to join us!"

Coriolanus blinks once, twice. A trip with several Capitol couples sounds like somewhat of a nightmare to him. But he can see how excited Soarynn already is at the prospect of traveling together. "And this time you'd be with me," she quickly adds, "to protect me and keep me out of harm's way." Coriolanus chuckles at her convincing words, she's clearly put some thought into this proposition.

He rubs his temples, "Well I'd have to think about it Soarynn. It might interfere with my work schedule. And you know how I feel about the Districts."

Soarynn slightly slouches but she doesn't lose the smile on her face, "Alright. I just thought I'd bring it up." Coriolanus nods, "Thank you for letting me know." He turns back to his work but Soarynn doesn't make any moves to leave his study.

"Can I sit with you?"

Her question brings a grin to his lips and he pushes back from the desk, baring his lap to her, "Can't get enough hmm?" He teases as Soarynn carefully straddles him, her legs slightly dangling on either side of the chair.

Soarynn scoffs and gives him a knowing look, "I'm not the one who constantly demands physical affection." She's got him there. Coriolanus has always been the more physical one in the relationship. He craves it really, absolutely needs it from her and Soarynn has always given it to him without complaint. He knows she enjoys it too but she's not as forward as he is about it which is why occasions like this can be often rare. He gives her waist a gentle squeeze and presses a soft kiss to her lips, "Well after five days of being apart I wouldn't expect any less from you."

They both settle back down and Soarynn rests her chin on his shoulder while he continues to work. He keeps one hand wrapped around her at all times, even if it makes working a little more difficult. He doesn't mind. The smell of vanilla overwhelms his senses with Soarynn right on top of him. She feels so soft and warm. He really does have the perfect girl. He knows she'll fall asleep soon as she always does when they're in this position.

To have her back in his arms is the greatest gift he can be given, to know that she's safe and loved, all under his watch. Even though he wasn't the one who left, it still feels like coming home.

| tumblr oneshot/drabble |

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statementlou · 5 hours

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hi it's just me being nosy and asking a follow up to your vinyl anon--what are some of your non-1DCU favorites? collection tour please 😇

hiiii gosh and look you even put the link on for me to make it easy! The question itself is NOT EASY though I was like BUT WHAT IF I FORGET ONE?? Like what CATEGORY of favorite?! But the timing couldn't be better, I am currently as previously mentioned in the process of moving all of my stuff around, a huge project that 1) is perfect for listening to records while I do things like move books from one shelf to another and 2) means I just today moved my record player to a far better place where I am actually using it again for the first time in ages (for one thing onto an actual properly non wobbly surface) so I listened to records today and picked a few that will do sorry to all the others I forgot and love even more I'm sure

I picked first up Daydream Nation by Sonic Youth not just because it's so good (IT IS THOUGH) but also because it's an album that having it on vinyl feels SO right and it makes me happy just to handle; the pretty Gerhard Richter painting cover, a little crackle and pop with the music, the aesthetic of it all! I mean Sonic Youth probably literally birthed the indie hipster luddite aesthetic, it seems Right™ Second is The Bonny by Gerry Cinnamon, because being able to listen to the songs The Bonny and Ghost specifically on vinyl feeds my soul in deep and important ways. Also the 4th side is blank and etched with lyrics, like the JHO single, very cool. And last the record/album I've almost certainly played the most times in my life, even though the copy I have has skips now (to be loved is to changed and all that yk) and I haven't to date been able to bring myself to buy a reissue or pay $$$ for another original: 24 Hour Revenge Therapy by Jawbreaker. It's just important in like 15 different ways okay? Tip, if anyone is like huh! I will go listen to this album I've never heard it (DO!! also then tweet it at Louis a lot, he would REALLY LIKE IT) I think the best way to do this is to skip the first song the first time, it's a whole different vibe than the rest. Also right now my fave is LTLIVE on vinyl 😭 playing records makes me want to put it on SO BAD :((( also bonus content, one of my favorite things about records for some reason is seeing who goes next to who idk I just find it fun and if I were naming a band it would totally be a big consideration... so for extra tour of the shelf, Gerry Cinnamon is between the Germs and The Gits (listen the Cs are crowded, it's my shelf I can do what I want), Sonic Youth was between The Snuts and Social Distortion- which the astute may notice is not correct, she will be going back other side of Social D- and Jawbreaker nestle cozily between Japandroids and Jerk With A Bomb. Louis, for the record, lives between very twee girl band Tiger Trap and very fast hardcore band Tragatello, lol. A weird bill, that, but they do have one thing in common- all feature queer musicians

#gosh all three of these are so MELLOW🤔#I think even though I also like a lot of very not chill music there's something about the vibe+vinyl for me #I am listenign to the tragatello record now though which is anything but and that's also a great time so hey okay #this is outrageously self indulgent forgive me innocent dash denizens who just want to talk about louis in peace #it's cam's fault for being an enabler!

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divinely-yourz · 2 years

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i just wanna be noticed😭

#also #i painted again today for the first time in like #idk #a year #felt pretty eh #i was told that stuff like that was supposed to feel and shit #it didn't.#i used to absolutely LOVE art #but no.#its so boring now #so here's a lesson kids #don't start something then end up loving it and then stop doing it bc you think you're trash at it #or do #i don't really care #[as]

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emile-hides · 1 year

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So if there’s anything to take away from Bowser’s Inside Story it’s the lesson that the size disparity we see between different iterations of Bowser are caused by Near Death Experiences, and the following adrenaline rush

This can be seen directly in Super Mario Bros Wii, where after dunking Bowser into the lava in typical Mario Bros fashion, he comes back a solid 5 times his size. Not the biggest we’ve seen him, but still.

This then implies before games like Mario Galaxy and Bowser’s Fury something aside from Mario nearly killed Bowser, sending him into these adrenaline filled, power hungry rages.

This has the biggest implications, to me personally, for Mario Sunshine, the first game Bowser Jr makes his appearance, and the only time we see Bowser in his massive form not in a state of all out attack. He’s actually rather calm, and has his most iconic show of emotion to date.

Am I going somewhere with all of this? No not really, I’m just thinking about it and wanna share where my brain is currently.

#Mario & Luigi #Bowser's Inside Story #Super Mario Sunshine #I finished inside story (again) today #I played it forever forever ago but couldn't remember a THING about it #because I didn't like it fkgjfkdgjkdf #It's my least favorite Mario&Luigi so far though I've only played up to it #I wanna play Dream Team eventually #Yes I KNOW bowser's fury tells us Bowser's Like That because of Jr.s Magic Paint and whatever #But I am choosing another narrative #Look listen listen look look listen look #Sunshine happens because it's the first time Bowser almost died post Jr being born #and it hits him there in that moment that he can't keep fucking around he has a CHILD now a child who sees him and relies on him #Thus he's kinda like. 'Shit. I gotta get this kid a support system other than me and the minions'#Because I mean Kamek's great but he doesn't wanna end up LEAVING Junior an ORPHAN that'd be messed up #I think Bowser's real mellow and soft in Sunshine because he's kind of realizing he can't run head first at everything and leave Jr behind #I dunno I dunno I'm think thonkin thonk thinkin #I love Bowser as a character I don't like his weird anatomy Inside Story gave us #I don't like Inside story... much at all really.... but that's not important #What IS important is how often Bowser almost dies to things OTHER than Mario #And how actually RARELY Mario almost KILLS Bowser #given how often Bowser almost kills Mario #Theoretically #The only exception to this is in Super Paper Mario where Dimentio sends everyone to Hell by Killing Them #But I mean maybe that doesn't count because he did Actually die #Or maybe we missed Big Bowser actually #He did wake up first and started fuckin shit up and they do call him a Huge Monster #So actually yeah he WAS huge we just missed it #This is my only take away from this game

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qumiiiquinnquin · 6 months

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ill never be good enough at anything

#vent #events of today only proved it #im genuinely so close to giving up completely #i dont feel happy when I draw because I know its not good enough and im ashamed when others see it because I know they think the same thing #I dont feel satisfied or accomplished when finishing schoolwork because I know others will have done it better and responded better and im #the stupidest person of the entire class. some things I just dont understand but I know everyone else or lots of others did #i cant do anything right. i cant socialize correctly. i cant remember to do anything. i cant keep any stable relationships #i know if i get a job they'll ly me off or fire me within days max weeks. i dont expect to be able to hold down a job for long #i dont have the skills necessary to become what I want to be which is a meteorologist. i struggle in math and that career is a lot of math #i actually want to be an artist too but ill die a lonely death. i cant even do this class. and artists are not paid enough to survive #hell what I do right now with art in my spare time is much worse than others. a mouse and microsoft paint. both arent good enough #i cant not compare myself to others. i know that they're all better than me. and im around these people every day and see it on social medi #i really want to put my art in our shredder and permanently delete files. i want to drop out. i dont know what to do with myself because i #know that im not good enough for anything except lay in bed like the depressed piece of shit i am and end up getting kicked out #i thought about just leaving class today and throwing myself down the stairwell from the top floor i was already on #just over the barrier thats right next to the first flight of stairs that prevents people from falling off the stairs from a height #the one you can look down and see the following flight of stairs. just throw myself down from that and hurt myself significantly.#ive been thinking about jumping again. from a new part of campus thats higher than where i initially wanted to fall from #if not those then sl!t my wrist or run into traffic #i just need to d!e. There's no room for someone as worthless as me #i cried when I came home today because im just done. i cant carry on and itd be better if i didnt. itd be preferred.

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dragon-spaghetti · 6 months

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So sorry for the lack of art for the past week I've been really busy 💔

#drag rambles #was hanging w family all of yesterday and spent today painting the room w my sister 🥲#work was fuckin horrendous all week too so #yeah I've had no time or energy!!#also heads up my brain is fighting over fixations rn #shoutout to the past 2 helluva boss episodes uh. no thoughts only fizz!!#i love the silly lil clown 💖#so might be getting some helluva art again for the first time in like a year and a half AHA

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yoohyeontual · 7 months

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I’m suppose to paint but my moral is so low right now…

#i Need to do it today cause I forced my dad to go buy the thing so I could do it yesterday (but I slept 5h I was afraid of making mistake)#but I didn’t so I need to do it today cause it will take more than a day and I seriously need to find a job #my health is on line two now I need to go for my eyes and that cost money money that I don’t have at all #i feel like my body is dropping me like how can it be possible to have so many problems at the same time ?????#like they are all pretty minor I’m not gonna d*e but it still really annoying especially when you wanna live your life #but you don’t have force to do it #Sowon also needs food again and I’m not sure if my parents can help me again… I’m loosing my mind #also my brother feeling depress and I feel like my dad cares so much about it more than mine ????#maybe he dosen’t realise it or maybe I don’t show it as much so that would be on me #but without having end up in the hospital I feel like I’m at pretty much the same level as him 😐#except that I force myself to enjoy what I love so I don’t end up worst than I am which he stopped doing #there’s already a gigantic favouritism on my dad side with my brother so maybe I’m just crazy and scared my dad end up feeling the same way #maybe it’s just being scared of it and not the reality idk but it’s messing with my brain so bad I’m tired #but also I can’t even tell my dad one of the biggest reason I got depressed in the first place but at this point he would tell me to get #over it I’m pretty sure 🙄#anyway I’m gonna go paint I guess #wish me luck for everything it seriously need to stop 😭#alex.txt #tw negative #tw negativity

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kurokoros · 1 year

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I hate how guilty I feel about wanting things sometimes.

#like. the other day I finally got around to asking if I could paint my room a different color #which i said i would do by myself #and of course the answer was no #and then I felt awful because I cried a little afterwards #and what the hell am i doing crying over being told I can't paint my bedroom?#that just sounds incredibly spoiled of me #and today I again bit the bullet and asked about potentially getting another cat #because 1) i'm an animal lover and 2) my sister is moving out and taking her cat with #so my boy is going to be all alone for the first time in eight years #and I KNEW it was going to be a no #because i never get yeses #so now I'm just sad and disappointed. and I feel even worse because again that sounds really spoiled #and I really shouldn't because I never ask for anything #because I'm always expecting the answer to be a no anyway #i'm so used to being rejected that I don't even want to try anymore #or get my hopes up for anything #sorry to be personal on main i'm just having a weekend #alisha babbles

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xhatake · 1 year

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i hope everyone is having a good valentine’s day <3

#ooc.#i haven't had the bones for writing this week i have been fixated on taking in new media #today is my anniversary w my partner so i will be around later tonight!#i am sort of lurking on mobile but my attention is elsewhere today <3 #yesterday i ended up going to my friend's house #watching the entire first season of tlo.vm [again] & then we cleaned & painted her room #i didnt end up going home until like 6am so i had no online bones #but regardless i hope all of my friends are having wonderful v-days <3 #i also finished watching season 1 again today w a friend #so i have watched tlov.m season one a total of 5 times in the week or so since i #discovered its wonders #i've watched season 2 like 3 times but season one be hitting different 2 me

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pepprs · 2 years

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“going” “on” “a” “walk” “with” “redacted” “today” 🫣

#purrs #it’s supposed to be 90 degrees and thunderstorming LMAOOOOO so let’s hope it won’t be for everyone’s sake but also im so anxious i feel like #im going to pass out. this is the first walk we’re taking since fucking 2018 and the first time ive talked to her just personally abt things #that don’t necessarily have to do with work since 2019 😭😭😭😭😭😭 so it’s gonna be a lot and ihave no idea what to say and i spent all weekend #trying not to think abt it bc i cry every time i do bc literally this is the next to last time i am ever guaranteed to see or interact w her #ever again and that kind of makes me want to…. well. idk. it’s just so so so so so fucking bad. and im panicking abt a gift for her like i #know im gonna paint her something but idk what and i also want to like buy something for her but idk what to get and we haven’t made any #plans for her goodbye party thing which is kinda my fault bc i cried / got deeply depressed every time i tried to work on it LOLLLLL. so idk #how that’s gonna happen bc we’ll all be in person today. idk. passing out rn. im so fucking scared lollll #i have such a bad habit of doing everything in my power to distract myself from processing loss / distance / whatever atp and then having to #confront it later and being completely unprepared and fucking up LOL. so i rly need to get my shit together and fast

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chastiefoul · 3 months

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love and deepspace men when you (playfully) reject their kiss ft. zayne, xavier, rafayel

fluff, fluff, FLUFF

zayne

his kiss landed on the outer corner of your lips instead as you turned away at the very last second as he leaned in

he just stared at you for a solid five seconds.

“was this because i left you on read this afternoon?” his voice was soft, uncertainty danced across his feature. you just shrugged, turning away from him to hide the smile you’ve been trying really hard to suppress.

he grabbed a hold of your waist first, keeping you in place. he saw the shameless smile on your face, couldn’t help but let out a little chuckle of his own. “should’ve known.”

you laughed, “but you did left me on read, how dare you?” his thumb moved up and down on your side as he made no change on his expression, like doing a gesture he didn’t even realize doing it. “alright then, i apologize for not replying within twenty minutes, since i did give you a call as soon as i was available.”

you put your hands on either side of his cheeks, he leaned into the touch. of course, it didn’t bothered you one bit when he didn’t reply right away since you knew very well how demanding his job was.

you planted a sweet kiss on his lips, you could feel his little smile as you pulled away. “good work today, zayne.”

“hm, then surely you would indulge me more of that for a moment longer?”

xavier

he’s quiet for a moment; he did kiss you, but he didn’t know why you’d turn your head on the last second like that as he kissed you on the cheek instead.

he casted his gaze downwards, looking like a rejected kitten in a pouring rain searching for its owner.

your heart squeezed at the adorable act, lifting his chin with your palm. he tilted his head questioningly, the words was obvious on his face. did i do something wrong today? were you mad?

xavier stared at you as he recalled today’s events, but he reached his wits end pretty fast since he still had no idea why you’d reject his kiss.

you then giggled at his clueless expression, and xavier immediately understood that you’re being playful. he let out a little sigh of relief, embracing you. his neck deep at the crook of your neck, his soft hair tickling you in the best way possible.

“you’re too playful at times,” he mumbled, he looked like he had all the peace in the world. “sorry, will you forgive me?” you ran your fingers through the back of his head. “i’ll forgive you if you promise not to reject my kiss ever again,” he said.

you laughed, “okay then, if you insist.”

rafayel

oh. he looked so offended beyond belief. you’d think someone had insulted his painting; a product from his passion and effort. but to think it’s just a face he made because you didn’t want him to kiss you.

“i see what this is,” he started, the dramatic side of him just wouldn’t let this slide. you challenged, “yeah? what is it?”

“you tell me. this is just the beginning isn’t it. first you reject my kiss, next thing i know you’d be packing your bags, telling me you’ve fallen out of love.” he crossed his arms in front of his chest, his pout was the most exaggerated as it’s ever been.

you had to hold your laugh so hard, you covered your mouth with your fist. “it was just a kiss rafayel, i wasn’t feeling it.” you replied, trying your best to sound serious.

“wasn’t feeling it?” he gasped, like you just insulted his whole entire bloodline. he put up a palm in front of your face, like refraining you to say more controversial things. he took a deep breath to calm himself, “it’s fine, it’s not like i was eager to kiss you either.” he mumbled like he was talking to himself, although it’s obvious he’s being a little loud on purpose. also, lies. he practically bounced on air when he approached you.

finally a laugh escaped you, rafayel looked at you and he just fumed. “just so you know i expect you to make up for all the emotional distress i just went through.” you laughed a little more as you grabbed a hold of his face. “i would kiss you many times to make it up but i think someone just said he wasn’t really that eager to kiss me?” you raised an eyebrow.

his eyes lit up for a moment at the mention of a kiss, and next second he looked around frantically to make an excuse. “it’s okay i understand, fighting that many wanderers who make a lot of strange screeching noises? it’d disturb your hearing a little. i said i was eager to kiss you.” he smiled, nodding to himself. you laughed once more at his ridiculousness.

“sure, let’s go with that excuse.” you kissed him and when you pulled away he held your head, giving you multiple kisses before he let you go with a grin.

#love and deepspace #love and deepspace x reader #zayne x reader #xavier x reader #rafayel x reader #zayne love and deepspace #xavier love and deepspace #rafayel love and deepspace

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