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mochikage · 2 years

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fuckboy!kakashi x reader This was a request from my old blog. I’m not giving it a title because I am lazy xo. (side note: i do not see kakashi as as fuckboy unless very specific circumstances in his anbu years occur)

unedited + 12.5k words ....oops. THERE IS SMUT IN THIS, MDNI

“Why don’t you take off the mask? I want to see how good I’m making you feel.” The woman, whose name he had already forgotten, bit her lip as she looked down at Kakashi. She was currently straddling his hips and her fingers were dancing around his neck, too close to the edges of his mask for him to be comfortable. He sits up, bringing his face closer to the woman above him.

He’s never thought the mask to be a problem. Some girls even found it hot that they couldn’t really see him, couldn’t really kiss him. They’ll moan against the mask and whine about wanting him to take it off, but he never does. It’s not like it’ll take away from their pleasure because he always did leave them satisfied. It obviously wasn’t as big of a deal if women were still lining up for a chance to get in bed with him.

“It stays on.” He simply replies to her before moving his hands down in between her legs. She moans when he moves her panties aside and starts to play with her. Apparently, she didn’t get the hint. Her hands got as far as hooking under his mask before they were yanked away by the man under her.

“What did I just say?” Kakashi stares at the woman above him and begins to rethink his actions. He wanted to fuck, but was the lay really worth it if she was going to be irritating? He ponders if he should go through the trouble of tying her up, but truth be told, he wasn’t really having it that day. It’s not the first time that someone has asked him to remove the mask before they fuck, but usually, they got the hint after he rejects their request.

He moves the woman off of his lap and she begins to apologize, realizing how she was coming off.

“Don’t worry about it.” He mumbles to her as he gets up to put on his shirt and vest. He has his headband on and over his eye and before the woman knows it, he’s gone. He left her in her bed, cursing herself for ruining the one chance she had to sleep with the infamous Kakashi Hatake.

He had gathered quite a reputation, both in the shinobi world and in the civilian world. Of course, they were two stark different reputations, but a reputation, nonetheless. As Kakashi walks down the quiet streets of Konoha, he finds that his mind is anything but. He thinks about how he even got himself in that situation and finds himself regretting it when he remembers.

Earlier in the day, Kakashi had gone to the academy to pick up some papers. It was there that he saw Y/N. He remembers the way his heartfelt when she gave him a sweet greeting, sporting a beautiful smile. She even brought him a copy of her favourite book. He gave her a smile of his own.

“Oh, Y/N thank you, but you didn’t have to do this.” He takes the gift out of her hands and looks at the cover. He remembers her bringing the book up, but truth be told he doesn’t remember a single thing that she said about it. He was too focused on the way her lips were moving when she talked. He was too entranced with the way her eyes shined in the sun. He was too distracted by her smile to even think about what she was saying.

“Don’t mention it.” She politely waves him off, “I hope you do end up liking it.” They had talked for a little bit, and something about the way she talked about her students made his stomach somersault.

He always feels lovesick after talking to her. He knows that it’s a simple fix, but he didn’t have the courage to ask her out. He didn’t know if he ever will and that’s something he’s trying to come to terms with. The moment with Y/N was short-lived. She was called away by Iruka to help out with something, but she didn’t leave without giving him one last near heart-attack.

Instead of waving goodbye to him she reached out and squeezed his arm, giving him an apologetic smile.

“I’ll see you later?” She asks him, and he simply nodded, too flustered from the proximity of the two.

That’s when whats-her-face ran into him as he left. Now that Kakashi thinks about it, that woman was waiting for him outside of the Academy. She had caught him at the perfect time. He was mostly in a good mood after talking to Y/N, but something was missing. He needed more of her touch. Fortunately for him, he knows where he can find the attention that he’s craving, but he only wishes he can get it from her.

Unfortunately, enough though when he really thinks about it, he hasn’t fully slept with anyone since Y/N kissed his cheek while he walked a drunk her and drunk Iruka home over a month ago. He’s gotten as far as letting them strip his vest but then something in him makes him stop everything. In this case, it had been the woman annoying him, but he can’t deny that in many other cases it had been because he’s opened his eyes kissing them and realized that it wasn’t his girl.

As Kakashi turns another corner, he lets out another frustrated sigh. He was frustrated both sexually and just with himself. If he could just gather the courage to say something to her then maybe he can finally be happy. He’s spent far too long pitying himself and he’s gotten to the point where he’s willing to give love a chance. It’s caught him by surprise the first time he realizes it, when Y/N first smiled at him. It was something about her that drew him in every time he saw her.

And once again, he finds himself thinking about the one girl he really cared for. There have been countless times he’s asked himself how she managed to get past his walls without him noticing. He once even thought that she had cast some kind of jutsu on him, but that idea was scratched quickly when he realized just how dumb it sounded.

Kakashi stops in his tracks when he hears his name called. He turns around curiously, wondering who in the right mind was up at this hour. When he recognizes the familiar figure approaching him, he immediately straightens his posture.

“Y/N?” Her name comes out more like a question and he can’t help the little flip his stomach does when he sees her in regular clothing. Her hair is down, and he wishes upon the twinkling stars of the night sky that he will be blessed with this sight again.

There was something about her running towards him in the soft moonlight that made him second guess if he was dreaming or not. She had a basket in one arm and her jounin jacket in the other.

“What are you doing up this late?” She steals the question right from his lips. He sees her eyes glance down to his dishevelled clothes before seeing her smile falter slightly. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out why he looked like this late at night. He opens his mouth, wanting to give her some sort of explanation but he can’t find the words. What would he even say?

“Actually, I’m glad I ran into you. I have something for you.” She opens her basket. Where did she have to go that was so important that it had to be at this time? And did she have to be alone? His mouth twitches into a frown under his mask, and he grows mildly irritated by her seemingly carefree attitude. He debates if he should tell her that she shouldn’t be out this late, at least not alone. Before he could come to a decision, she pulls out a file. He’s even more baffled now but he takes the scroll from her.

“It’s from the Hokage. It’s the official invitation to the graduation ceremony.” She explains to him. She doesn’t give him much time to respond before she moves around him to keep walking. Kakashi wants to stop her, but he doesn’t know what he can say to her that will get her to stop. So, with his head now hung even lower than before, he makes his way home.

The following two weeks were bleak for Kakashi. There was no mission for him, all of his students were enjoying their time off, and he hasn’t seen Y/N in far too long for him to be comfortable with it. Usually, he might go and see what woman can hold his attention long enough for him to go home with them, but he couldn’t get the image of Y/N’s face out of his mind. He shouldn’t care about what she thinks, and yet he’s so disappointed in himself after that interaction.

Kakashi is even more disappointed with each night that passes where he doesn’t run into Y/N. He would be lying if he said he didn’t stay out longer in hopes of seeing her again. He has changed his usual route to increase his chances. Hell, he even sent a clone once to help him look. Each night he had failed to find her, and it’s not until he’s called into the Hokage’s office that he sees her again.

Kakashi knocks on the door to the office and patiently waits to be invited in. He’s surprised when the door opens, and Y/N is standing there. She gives him a signature sweet smile before moving to the side to let him in.

“Okay, now that everyone is here, we can get started.”

The meeting with the Hokage was the for the most part, uneventful. He was assigned on a mission with Y/N, and to say he’s not excited would be a flat out lie. Y/N walks out with him, and for the first time in a while, he hears her calming voice.

“What time do you think we should leave tomorrow?”

He’s mildly disappointed that she kept the conversation professional, but then again, they did just leave the office.

“Well, it takes about 27 hours to get to that village. It’ll probably take two days to get there, so the earlier we leave, the better.” They both stop outside of the building. He takes in her appearance. Her hair was held back by her forehead protector, and her usual shinobi attire was scuffed up. He noticed the distressed attire, and he can’t remember if it looked like this the last time he saw her or not.

“Did you just get back from a mission?” He can’t stop himself from asking. He feels his cheeks flush when she makes eye contact with him, her eyes glistening happily.

“I did. The Sand Village needed help retrieving stolen documents from the Hidden Sound.” He mirrors her smile, not that she could see it anyways.

“How was it?” He continues the conversation, hoping that she would stay and talk to him for a little longer. They begin to walk together as he listens intently to how her mission went. He admired her for loving her work and admires her even more with the way she talks about her comrades. She always spoke so highly of them, and she never had a bad word to say about anyone.

They reach her house quicker than Kakashi would like, and she fully turns to the man in front of her.

“Soooo do you want to meet tomorrow at 6?”

Kakashi’s brain short circuits for a second, thinking that she was asking him out on a date. He watches her eyebrows pinch together in thought.

“Is that too early for you? I’ve heard Naruto complain about you being late.” She giggles quietly to herself, and Kakashi hopes to hear it again. He realizes what she meant and shakes his head, as if to clear the thoughts of how a date with her would go. He plays it off as if he was replying to her question.

“No, no. That should be fine. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He smiles and waits for her to go safely inside before leaving to go to his own home, his mind swimming with thoughts of her smile and laugh.

The next morning, Kakashi gets up earlier than usual. He wants to blame it on the birds chirping outside, but the nerves tingling in his stomach say otherwise. He grabs his packed bags and sets out the main village gates. He sees another figure there, resting along the wall. The closer he gets, the clearer the figure.

“Y/N?” He calls out, recognizing her smaller frame when he gets closer. She turns around and looks over, smiling politely at him.

“What are you doing here early?”

“Couldn’t really sleep.” She shrugs, “I guess I was nervous for this mission because I couldn’t stop waking up. Figured I get here early.” She lies, knowing full well that she was excited for this one-on-one mission with the man she’s had her eye on for a while. Of course, she would never let him know that, knowing about his reputation. It’s a recipe for a bad heartbreak, and it’s something that she would avoid at all costs. The only response Kakashi gives her is a nod, choosing not to voice his disapproval of her not getting a good night’s rest.

They both climb up the nearest trees right outside the gates and set out to the inn they’re supposed to stay at. They’re both flying through the trees, both of them keeping up with each other easily. Neither of them would say it, but they’re both enjoying the company significantly, even if no words have been exchanged in between them. At one point, Kakashi even begins to push off the same trees as Y/N, and she looks over at him briefly. He gives her a close eyed smile, one so soft that Y/N almost trips on her own two feet.

“Do you want to race?” She calls over to him, noticing him land at the same place and at the same time as her. He looks over at her, and something about her aura briefly reminded him of his dear friend, Gai. Maybe it was how she was always positive. He’s never really seen her in a bad mood. Maybe it was because anytime he had seen her spar, he would notice how good her taijutsu was (not that her ninjutsu or genjutsu wasn’t any good, but he hasn’t seen those as much as her hand-to-hand combat). Maybe it was because she was challenging him to a race right now, and he was not one to back down from a challenge, not anymore.

“What’s the finish line?”

“There’s a river a couple miles up ahead. We should be getting there by midday; it might be good to stop for some water and food.” Kakashi agrees to the plan and waits for her to say that the race has started.

“Go!” She exclaims excitedly, moving past Kakashi, who was baffled that he had no warning before she started the race. He chuckles quietly to himself, her good mood rubbing off on him easily. He chases after her, noticing that she really did move quickly. They were both necks in neck, racing towards the river up ahead.

A few hours pass and the two of them finally reach the river, both of them panting from the run. They both stop in front of the water, look at each other, and laugh between themselves.

“I thought you said it was only a few miles away,” Kakashi comments with a smile under his mask as he dips his hands in the river to wash his face.

“Is it a good time to say that I’m not the best at guessing distances?” Y/N says shyly, taking a few swigs of her water. She notices Kakashi turning towards his bags, back to her. She watches his arm muscles move underneath the long-sleeved blue shirt. She shifts in her seated position when he tilts his head back to drink some water. What she would give to see his face.

Y/N was already attracted to him, well, she frequently asks herself who isn’t? But there was something about seeing a more playful side of him with her today that made her feel that much more for the jounin in front of her. He’s always had a place in her heart, for she felt for his pain when he lost his father and best friends. Like Gai, she had tried her best to lift his spirits when they were younger. Gai was more relentless than her, and she had a fear of annoying the laid-back shinobi. She wishes she never gave into the crush on him. He shifts again in his sitting position, and it looks like he’s pulling his mask back up. He turns back to Y/N, who is now blushing madly for being caught staring at him.

“So…who won?” Y/N asks, leaning back on her hands.

“I’m pretty sure it was me.”

“Hm..” Y/N hums, squinting her eyes at him, “I don’t think so. Pretty sure I got here before you, so I think you owe me dinner.” She teases.

“I don’t think we ever agreed to loser buying the winner dinner.”

She grabs a portion of food out of her pack, as does Kakashi.

“No? Well, I don’t think I agreed to you winning that race. In fact, I’m sure you were behind me when we landed.” Y/N smiles as she picks up her chopsticks.

“If you wanted me to buy you dinner, you just had to ask. No need to lie about winning the race.” He teases her, and the kunoichi shakes her head, enjoying this side of him. Before she could say anything, he speaks up, voice laced with concern.

“You’re bleeding.” Kakashi sets his food down and immediately turns to retrieve a little medical kit from his bag. Y/N looks down at her thigh and gasps.

“Shoot, I must have popped a stitch.” She stands immediately, moving away from the worried shinobi next to her.

“What are you doing?” He asks, watching her wobble behind a tree.

“I’m changing the bandages,” Y/N calls out. She makes sure she’s out of his view before she pulls her pants down.

“Shit.” She mutters quietly, seeing the fresh wound open again. Y/N sighs, grabbing a bandage from her bag, deciding that she would have to deal with it later. She wraps it up quickly, and rounds the tree, running straight into Kakashi.

“Are you alright? Did you open the stitches?” He asks, looking at your now stained pants. Y/N waves him off, telling him a reassuring don’t worry but he doesn’t believe her. He decides not to push her, instead going back to their food. She’s mildly disappointed to see that his food is all gone. Maybe the next time they eat, she’ll get to see his face.

“I’m carrying this from now on. You shouldn’t put any extra weight on that leg.” Kakashi’s usually cool, relaxed voice is back, a change that she notices from his previously lighter tone. It disappoints her, but she brushes it off. She opens her mouth to argue, but he’s already jumped up to the trees. She follows him, hot on his trail.

“You know, you don’t have to carry my bag,” Y/N calls out, hoping that she’s not sounding ungrateful. Kakashi doesn’t reply to her. She frowns, wondering if she had done something wrong.

The rest of the day was silent between the two, nothing like the first half. Y/N had spent it worrying if she had said something to him, and he spends it wondering why the Hokage would send her on a mission if she was still injured. He wasn’t in a good mood, now worried that Y/N was in jeopardy from her injury. They stop a couple of hours later, Kakashi sensing Y/N slowing down.

“We can camp here for the night,” Kakashi announces, releasing a protective jutsu around them. He notes how deep into the forest in the Land of Fire. Pretty soon, they would be in foreign territory. Kakashi notes that he would have to travel close to his comrade tomorrow in any case they get into danger.

Y/N began unpacking her bag, pulling out her sleeping bag and a basket. Kakashi unpacks the book she gave him. He sets up his sleeping bag next to a tree and leans against the trunk for some light reading. He can’t help but let his eyes slip past the book in his hands and to kunoichi in front of him. Kakashi grows more irritated with the situation at hand. The last thing she needs to do is stand.

“Where are you going?” He can’t help but ask.

“To go gather some medicinal flowers.”

“Is that where you go in the middle of the night?” He asks, not realizing how creepy that could have sounded if she didn’t run into him the other night.

“Yes.”

“What do the flowers look like?”

“White, with black specks on them.”

Kakashi picks up the basket next to the girl.

“Don’t worry about it. Now get some rest, Y/N. Tomorrow we’ll walk. If we follow the river downstream, we should get there by sundown.” He doesn’t spare her a glance.

“Sundown? But-“

“We’re walking. No fast travelling, no trees, no races.” Kakashi’s cold gaze snaps over to Y/N. She’s already re-opened her wound and he will not risk making it worse by playing childish games with her. He mentally scolds himself for getting carried away with her. The girls' shoulders visibly slouched, confused as to why she was picking up disappointing tones from him. Maybe he was coming off harsh towards her, but he doesn’t want to argue with her about walking tomorrow so he was hoping to come off as if there was no other option. with his stubbornness, there really wasn’t.

Y/N doesn’t say anything to him. Instead, she decides to call it a night. She would wake herself up in a few hours to let him rest as well. Kakashi leaves the girl to collect the flowers. It doesn’t take him long. The area they were around was covered with the speckled flowers. He begins to pick the flowers one by one, wondering what this would have been like with Y/N by his side. He wonders how many nights she’s out in the forest picking the flowers for the medical staff. His stomach churns at the thought of something happening to her at that time of night. He physically shakes his head, wanting to get rid of the thoughts that were crossing his mind.

He begins to think of something more positive. He finds himself thinking that he was grateful that he gets to go on a mission with her. He gets to have a full understanding of what her feelings towards him were. She’s always been so kind to him, but he could never understand why. He’s happy that Gai isn’t there with them, only because he’s the only one in the village that knows how he feels about the kunoichi. And once again, his thoughts are back to her.

With a heavy sigh, he goes back to their minicamp and plops himself down against the tree to read. Kakashi spends his time switching his attention from the sleeping kunoichi in front of him and his book. He notices how her lips pout in her sleep, and he can’t explain it but he has the urge to kiss the plump lip. He doesn’t know for how long he’s under her enchantment, but he does know that he saw the lip tremble. He closes the book and gets up quietly. He grabs his own blanket from his sleeping bag and drapes it over her body. He doesn’t think that he’ll need it for the rest of the night because truth be told, he had no intention of waking her up for her watch. His clone comes back a few hours later, a basket full of the flowers she had requested.

Y/N wakes up the next morning to smell of eggs and the sound of fire crackling. She lets out a yawn and sits up, so at peace with herself that she momentarily forgot where she was at the moment.

“Kakashi!” She exclaims out, noticing the bright sun that shined above the two of them. He has one hand moving the food around a makeshift pan and the eggs on it while the other is holding the book you gave him earlier. He only hums in response, turning the page to his book.

“Why didn’t you wake me up? Did you get any rest?” She sits up, not missing the extra blanket on top of her body.

“Plenty. All I did was sit around.”

“That’s not resting.” She says, irritated with the man in front of her. A wave of guilt washed over her. How could she sleep so soundly when he clearly needed it more? Kakashi doesn’t reply to her and instead hands her a plate of food.

“Aren’t you going to eat?” She asks, grabbing the plate.

“I already ate earlier.” Kakashi begins to clean everything up, letting the sleepy kunoichi enjoy her breakfast. He packs almost everything, leaving the sleeping bag she was sitting on to be packed last. Keeping his promise from the day before, he carries most of the bags, ignoring the comment she made saying that she could carry it.

The rest of the trip and the mission itself was uneventful for the most part. Both of their abilities complement each other, something Kakashi is waiting for the Hokage to recognize so they can be paired more often. He’s hoping at least. The mission itself only lasted a few hours. They were able to extract the information they needed quickly and undetected. Kakashi would have been lying if he said that he wasn’t concerned about her leg. However, considering that she hadn’t complained about it nor had there been any signs of the wound reopening he forced the worry to the back of his mind.

The travel back to the village was just as uneventful as the mission itself. He had given in to her constant begging and let her carry her own stuff, but he made sure to keep an eye on her pace and her leg to make sure she wasn’t putting a “tough” face on. They stopped around the same area they had on the way there, but this time Y/N made sure that she would take the first watch, and even gave Kakashi a taste of his own medicine and didn’t wake him up for his turn.

By the time they arrived back to the village, it was late at night. The gates of Konoha came into view, and the two of them dropped down from the trees and walked in. Kakashi couldn’t help but feel disappointed that he would no longer have an excuse to spend time with her.

“Do you think Lady Hokage is still in her office?” Y/N breaks the comfortable silence between the two.

“I don’t know, she might already be at the bar.” Kakashi jokes, although there was a possibility that there was truth to his words. He smiles under his mask when Y/N lets out a hearty laugh, agreeing with the man next to her.

“Maybe. Should we report to her tomorrow then?” She stops walking as soon as they enter the village and turns to Kakashi.

“That’ll probably be best. Besides, it buys us time to have the mission report ready.”

“Buys you time to have the mission report ready.” Y/N comments, taking a drink from her water bottle.

“When did you have the time to write yours?”

“When you were sleeping.”

“Oh, you mean when you didn’t wake me up for my watch?”

“Watch it, Hatake. You did it to me first.” Y/N smiles, seeing the crinkles forming on the sides of his eyes, indicating that he enjoys their banter as much as she did.

“Anyways..” She trails off and looks in the direction of her home. She didn’t want this mission to end. If she was being completely honest, she almost wished that the mission didn’t go so smoothly just so she could spend another day with the man next to her. She didn’t expect to enjoy this mission so much, especially since data-retrieval one’s weren’t her favorite but the company she had made it worth it.

“Can I walk you home?” Kakashi asks, catching her off guard. She nods, happy that he seems to enjoy her company as much as she enjoyed his. Although the walk between the two was silent, the thoughts in their own minds was anything but. Kakashi spent the walk debating what they would talk about. He didn’t want to bring up any work stuff, nor anything to do with the mission before. He glances over to Y/N, who in her own mind is having debates on whether or not she should be the one to break the silence or not.

“I’m enjoying the book you lent me, thank you again,” he starts, hoping that he could get her to do most of the talking in order to learn more about her. Y/N smiles over at the man, nearly taking his breath away. He takes note of just how much he loves receiving her beaming smiles, not that it was news to him.

“Of course. You’re always reading Icha Icha, not that there’s anything wrong with them, but I thought you might like a different story.”

“It was very thoughtful of you.” Kakashi compliments. It was well known that Y/N was a sweetheart, and the fact that she was still single really baffles Kakashi. He had hope that maybe one day he would grow a pair and ask her out, but he always blames it on not having the right time to say—or do—anything. He doesn’t miss the blush that brushes her cheeks, and he has half a heart to pull down his mask and lean in down to kiss them. He wonders if it would make her blush more, or if she would even give her a kiss of her own. He shakes his head, realizing she had said something to him.

“What was that?” He asks, turning his attention forward. It would be better for him not to be distracted by her.

“I was asking what you liked about it.”

“Oh…well I like that Mikasa (iykyk) is bold. She doesn’t let any fear slow her down or stop her from getting what she wants.” He replies. It’s ironic, how much he admires the main character of the story and how she can do anything she sets her mind to and yet here he is, a well-known shinobi who can’t even muster the courage to ask out a comrade.

“Yeah..I really wish I had her bravery. Definitely would be in a different place right now if I did.” Y/N chuckles.

“How do you mean?” Kakashi can’t help but ask. He couldn’t agree more with her comment, although he doubts that she’s thinking the same thing he is. If he had the same courage, the kunoichi next to him would be more than a comrade to him, and he wouldn’t have the reputation that he had with the civilians of the village. The girl next to him blushes even more, but with the ideal world Kakashi is building in his mind, he misses it.

“Well, I just mean that maybe I still wouldn’t be single…” Y/N trails off, “o-or maybe I would have even gotten the right order if I said something to that fisherman back in the village.”

She worries for a second that she got too personal with Kakashi. They both now stood at her doorstep, watching each other in silence. She doesn’t know what to do, and Kakashi is lost in his own mind wondering if these were the signs, he’s been looking for all this time. All this talk about bravery, getting what one wants, her being single, were they hints?

Kakashi takes a step closer to her, causing her to crane her neck to keep the eye contact they’ve been holding for who knows how long. Tentatively, he reaches a hand to cup her cheek, relishing in the soft skin against his hand. He only wishes he took off his fingerless gloves to fully caress her cheek, but he ditches any thoughts he had as he musters up the courage to lean in. He’s carefully watching her actions and took the fact that she didn’t flinch or move away from him as a good sign. She seems like she’s leaning in too, and Kakashi’s heart feels like it’s going to jump out of his chest from sheer excitement. He only stops leaning in when she speaks up, her words confusing him.

“I don’t trust myself.”

“What do you mean?” He’s still close to her, hand still on her cheek.

“I don’t want to hook up with you and then regret it later.”

“Why would you regret it?” He frowns at her words, dropping his hand from her face.

“I’m scared I’m going to catch feelings and then I’ll have to see you with other women. I’d rather save myself the hurt.” Y/N spoke so quietly that if the village hadn’t been completely silent, he wouldn’t have heard her. His mind was racing at the moment. He watches her in silence as she fishes around her bag to find the key to her place.

“Y-you’re the only one that I want.” He stammers, trying to find the right words to say.

“How many times have you used that one?” She asks in disbelief. She didn’t say it in a malicious way, nor did she seem upset judging by the way she smiled. Maybe she meant it in a joking way, but Kakashi was in no mood for jokes with what was at stake.

He had finally had the courage to nearly kiss the girl he actually liked, and he had no idea how he was going to convince her that she really was the one he had been wanting all along. How was he going to explain to her that everyone else he slept with was purely for need and because he couldn’t really have her? That sounded so cliché it made him cringe internally. He’s left standing alone on her porch before he can get a simple ‘wait’ out.

The next morning, he meets her at the Hokage’s office, neither of them making eye contact when they greet each other. Kakashi steals a glance at her, and from the looks of it, she must have stayed up all night as well. He frowns to himself, wondering if he should speak up and apologize for his behaviour the night before. Deciding that it was better to mention it at another time, he turns his attention to the Hokage.

Both of them turn in their mission reports and wait to be dismissed. Lady Tsunade had a few questions here and there, but for the most part, everything seemed fine. Kakashi wanted nothing more than to be dismissed so he could talk to his comrade, but she seemed to have other plans. As soon as Tsunade dismissed them, she had asked if she could stay and talk to her for a moment.

As Kakashi leaves the office, he wonders what Y/N might have to tell her. It really could have been anything, but he lets his mind drift off to the worst possible scenario just because he loves to torture himself. Could she be requesting that they never get paired again? Would she be complaining about the mission? Negative thoughts flooded his mind as he walked down the stairs. Would things be different between them now? Before he could continue spiralling down the negative void, Maito Gai hooks his arm around his neck, catching him by surprise for the first time.

“Ah! My eternal rival has come back! Are you ready to put our skills to the test once again?” The jounin practically yells in his ear.

“What will it be this time?” His enthusiasm continued as he jumped in front of Kakashi, effectively stopping him in his tracks. His hands were out as if he was prepared to fight him. “Rock paper scissors? Another sushi-eating contest?” He asks, smile faltering when Kakashi sticks his hands in his pocket and makes his way around Gai.

“Not now, Gai.” And with that, he leaves back to his house.

A couple of days go by, and he’s convinced that Y/N is avoiding him. He had run into her at the market, and she kept the conversation sweet, but short. The other day he had spotted her at the bookstore, but before he could go up to say something to her, one of the women he’s previously slept with had ruined the moment for him. As soon as the woman spoke his name, he watched Y/N tense and walk in the other direction. The next time he sees her, they’re all out celebrating Genma’s birthday, and if her body language was anything to go by, she wasn’t the only one that was forced to be there.

Currently, they were about three or four rounds in, and everyone was beginning to let loose. Well, everyone aside from Y/N and Kakashi. He wants to go talk to her more than anything, but it’s like every time he sees her, she’s talking to someone new. He gets up to get a round of drinks for everyone, hoping that it would give him an excuse to interject the conversation she was having with Gai. Yamato joins Kakashi at the bar.

“So Y/N, you haven’t said a single word about your last mission.” Gai notes, filling his glass with more beer, “usually you have plenty to say about how things went, let alone how great your comrades were. What’s different this time? Is it because you admire Kakashi in a different way?” He raises her eyebrows suggestively, making the girl flustered.

“No!” She’s quick to deny, hoping that she doesn’t seem suspicious, “nothing really happened on it. It went really smoothly.”

“Come on, you’re telling me that you had a three-day mission, and nothing happened?”

“Nothing aside from kicking ass.”

“Wow...And here I thought that he would finally make a move on you.” Gai hiccups, pouring himself another beer. His words catch Y/N off guard, and she goes against her better judgement and asks the nearly wasted ninja in front her for clarification. She knows that he probably shouldn’t be saying anything, but the opportunity to get anything out of Kakashi’s closest comrade was too rare for her to pass up.

“Well, it’s no secret he has a thing for you. Has for a while…”

“He sleeps around with women in Konoha. In what language does that mean that he likes me?”

“Used to.” Gai corrects, waving his beer around, nearly spilling it on the table, “one of my dear friends used to be a frequent flyer with him but apparently, he stopped after Iruka’s birthday about two months ago.” He lets out another hiccup before downing the rest of his beer. Y/N is lost in her thoughts, wondering if any of his drunken words held truth to them. What had happened two months ago that made him suddenly stop? Her eyes trail to the man in question, watching Yamato torture the man.

“Come on, Kakashi! What has gotten into you?” Yamato slaps the man’s back. It was harder than he had intended to but with the few rounds of beer he had in him, he found it difficult to control his strength. “I thought that you enjoyed her company.”

“Enjoying the sex we have is not the same as enjoying her company.” Kakashi comments, wondering when this dreadful conversation will end.

“Why are you such in a rush to get back to Gai? Do you think he’s telling her about your latest conquests? Although you did say you haven’t been…hey where are you-“ Before Yamato could finish his sentence, Kakashi is making his way to stop Gai from ruining any chance he has with Y/N, but is stopped on the way by the birthday man himself.

“Kakashi! My maaan!” Genma, clearly wasted and enjoying his birthday hugs both Yamato and Kakashi, uncharacteristically gushing to the men how much he appreciates them coming. Kakashi’s heart sinks when he sees Y/N standing up.

“I should get going,” Y/N says, wondering why she was torturing herself asking Gai these questions. He was clearly drunk, and there really was no way to tell if his words were true or not. She makes her way out, not bothering to say goodbye to anyone. Even if she had, there’s no telling who would remember it or not. She finally makes it out of the bar, taking a deep breath in the fresh air. She begins to walk home, Gai’s words floating around her head.

“Y/N!” She hears her name being called and turns around. Upon seeing who had called her name, she wishes silently that she hadn’t turned around. Kakashi runs up to her, and if she hadn’t known any better, she wouldn’t have noticed how nervous he looked. She was taken aback by his appearance. The one eye she could see had the brow pulled down in a worrisome manner, his eyes wide as he searched her face for any sign of her being upset.

“I’m so sorry…” He begins, causing her to grow even more confused. “I don’t know how much Gai has told you or really what exactly he has told you but it’s not true.” He hurries out, worried that all the efforts he had put in to show her that he’s so much more than the reputation he carries were thrown out the window by mere words of his drunk friend.

Y/N tries her best not to look disappointed. Her stomach and shoulders drop at the news. Surely, she must have known that Gai had been lying. How could Kakashi like her? She was an average shinobi, and average looking girl, and not to mention probably not the most interesting person in the world. Had she voiced her thoughts out loud, the frustrated man in front of her would have corrected her on all those things. He thought the world of her. If only either of them could speak their mind with the other.

“Oh.” It was the only thing she could say. She looks down at her feet, feeling her eyes begin to sting. “Right, well. If that’s all you had to say...” She trails off, blinking away any signs of tears and throws on a smile before she looks back up to Kakashi. His expression has changed to one of confusion. He could tell that her smile was fake, even if it would have been believable to anyone else.

“Have I said something to upset you?” Kakashi asks, and Y/N wants to scoff at his concern.

“No. Goodnight.” She says curtly. She wanted nothing more than to go home and cry into her pillow from how horrible this night was. She was forced to come out to celebrate a comrade’s birthday, only for her to gain some stupid hope that she could be with Kakashi only for it to be crushed moments later. She doesn’t know if she’s upset with herself for believing Gai’s words or with Kakashi for being so charming, although the latter wouldn’t completely be his fault.

She turns on her heels and walks even faster away from Kakashi, leaving him confused and standing outside the bar alone. He has to stop himself from going after her, knowing just how annoying it can be to want to be alone and for people to annoy you. He retraces his steps, wondering where he could have gone wrong.

Y/N locks herself in her room that night, letting the tears fall freely now. She plops herself down on her bed and stares at the blurry ceiling. How could she have been so stupid to think that he might have liked her? She scolds herself for believing Gai’s drunken words so easily. She knew deep down that it was something she’s longed to hear from her comrade. Maybe she believed him so easily because they almost kissed the night they arrived in the village. She shakes her head, telling herself that they were both tired from the mission and looking for some company. If she had a stronger heart then she would have indulged herself that night. Y/N turns over in her bed and looks out her window and tells herself that she’ll get over him. Her mind loves torturing her, so of course, she dreams of what could have happened that night if they kissed that night.

The next day, Kakashi goes to the Hokage’s office.

“You asked for me Lady Hokage?”

“Yes. Could you help set up for the graduation ceremony? We’re a little short on helping hands. I have a couple of people signed up already but Iruka says he needs more.”

“What time?”

“There are several slots still open.” She motions for him to come closer to his desk as she pulls out a list. He looks over the names, spotting Y/N’s signed up for the earlier time slot.

“Is this what Y/N wanted to talk about the other day?” He wonders. Tsunade’s smile grew, and from the twitch in the corner of her lips, he could tell that she expected him to ask.

“No. It was nothing serious. She only asked to be off a couple of missions so she could fully recover.” She shrugged. The man quietly sighs to himself in relief. He picks up a pen, tempted to write his name below Y/N’s. He bites his lip under his mask, wondering if he should be so obvious to fill out the empty slot right under her name when there were so many other time slots to choose from. He writes his name down in the time slot after, telling himself that he could catch her on the way out. Before he could leave, Tsunade calls out to him.

“Oh, one more thing. Y/N left her forehead protector here, by the way. Would you mind getting that back to her?” Tsunade smirks, clearly suspicious of his feelings towards the kunoichi. Of course, she could just ask Y/N to come by and retrieve it, but she wanted to gauge Kakashi’s reaction. He simply nods, not giving her as much information from the gesture as she would have liked. At least now he had a valid reason to go see her.

Kakashi finds taking the scenic route. He doesn’t know if he’s buying himself time to think over what he was going to say to her or if he was simply avoiding any confrontation with her. He remembers her getting upset with him last night, but regardless of how many times he racks his brain, he can’t come up with a reason. Maybe she was still upset that he tried to kiss her. He finds himself walking to the pharmacy. He needed to pick up a refill of his prescription anyways. It’s there that he runs into Gai, who was looking through the aspirin bottles. It was one of the few times that the taijutsu specialist ever looked so….calm. Undoubtedly it must be consequences from the previous night. Usually, Kakashi would just let Gai approach him, ready for whatever nonsense he would be spewing, but he needed a couple of answers before he would go to see Y/N.

“No training today?” Kakashi asks, apparently too loudly for the man as he winced at his words and groaned.

“No. I’ll be in bed serving my time for my bad choices yesterday.” It was strange to hear his voice with little to no enthusiasm in it. Alcohol was really the only thing that could quiet down Maito Gai.

“Do you remember any of it?” He asks, looking through the rows of pill bottles to make sure he didn’t need anything else. Gai visibly tensed, and Kakashi prepared himself for what was to come.

“Yes..” he sports a frown and drops his head down guiltily “and I’m sorry I have failed you as a friend.”

“How do you mean?” Kakashi hopes that he doesn’t come off as desperate for answers as he is with how quickly he asked the follow-up question.

“I told Y/N that you like her. I’m sorry, I know you entrusted me with that information and I—”

“Wait, what?” Kakashi’s taken back by his words, his stomach churning in response. He quickly returns to his usual cool composure, deciding that he would freak out on the inside.

“I’m. sorry for betraying you.” He looks over at Gai, who was nearly in tears. Kakashi rolls his eyes at his overdramatic comrade. Maybe he should have been mad at him for telling Y/N something like that. It’s not like he ever outwardly told him that he liked her, but Gai knew him so well that for him it was something as clear as day. Maybe he should have been mad but given the other things he could have told her, what he thought he told her at least, this probably really was the best case scenario.

“Pull yourself together, Gai. We’re in public.” Kakashi scolds his sobbing friend, feeling mild secondhand embarrassment from the openly emotional man next to him. “I’m not mad. If anything, maybe I should be grateful, you did me a favour.” He almost regrets saying those words, seeing Gai look over at him with wide, watery eyes. He knew a hug was coming, but he moved quicker than the hungover jounin.

“I have to get going. I have to be somewhere.” It’s only half a lie. He’s planning on going to Y/N’s, but he remembers their last conversation and stops at the entrance of the pharmacy.

I don’t know how much Gai has told you or really what exactly he has told you but it’s not true.

Shit.

The jounin mentally slaps himself, wondering why the hell he didn’t go to Gai first to ask what was said or even ask her what she was told before blabbering out lies to her. Would that have been the last straw? Could he have been the one to ruin any chance with her? Endless questions plagued Kakashi’s mind as he thought of his next move. He looks across the street to see the Yamanaka Flower Shop and decides that it couldn’t hurt to bring her flowers.

Y/N woke up that morning in a bad mood. Her coffee machine wasn’t working, her milk spilt everywhere, and she broke one of her favourite mugs. By lunchtime, she was still grumpy about the whole ordeal in the morning, and the thoughts of yesterday’s events weren’t helping her mood. More than anything she was hurting, both from her leg and her heart. She curses herself for even going to Genma’s birthday in the first place. Why did she have to go? Why did she have to sit with Gai? Why did she have to ask questions to indulge her own fantasy? Y/N groans at the events of the day and rubs her temples in hopes of getting rid of her stress-induced headache.

She spent most of the day doing housework in an attempt to get her mind off the night before. It doesn’t do her any good with her leg hurting but she pushes past the pain, telling herself that it’s helping with the distraction. Not only that, but she can’t find her forehead protector anywhere. It’s nearly sundown by the time she finishes the last room in her apartment. She wipes her hands on her pants and decides that she should go flower picking now. If she goes any later, she might run into Kakashi either coming back or going to one of his women’s houses and she didn’t want to be reminded of it. She grabs her basket and opens the door, taking a step back in shock when she finds the devil himself standing there.

“Kakashi!” She exclaims, half in fear, half in surprise. He’s holding a small bouquet of roses in one hand and a forehead protector in the other hand. So that’s where it went. The man in front of her closes his eye, presumably smiling under his mask. His hand holding her forehead protector goes to scratch the back of his head as he speaks.

“Sorry…I didn’t mean to startle you.” He feels guilty for scaring her. Truth be told he had been standing outside her door for a while, building up the courage to knock on her door. He had gone over dozens of times what he would tell her but never came up with the perfect words.

“What are you doing here?”

“I was hoping I could talk to you.”

Y/N looks over the man in front of her, wondering if the conversation ahead of her would help her current mental state or not. Going against her better judgement, she moved to the side, allowing him inside.

“I like your place.” He comments, looking around. “Oh, also I brought you these.” He turns his attention to the curious kunoichi and presents her the bouquet. Y/N looks at the flowers and gives him a small smile, something that he took as a good sign.

“What’s the occasion?” She asks, admiring the flowers.

“I want to clear up what happened last night.”

Y/N’s gaze snaps from the flowers to Kakashi. She holds his eye contact, wondering what he could possibly have to say. He begins to shift his weight from one foot to the other, and she takes a moment to appreciate that for once, the usual laid back calm shinobi is nervously shifting in his place. He avoids her eyes and looks at the ground.

“I really don’t know how to go about this other than to tell it to you straight. What Gai told you yesterday was the truth.” He starts, looking up from the ground to study Y/N’s reaction.

Y/N thinks to pinch herself. Surely this was all a dream? A sick fantasy that her brain has created in order to cope with the pain of yesterday. Kakashi continues, wanting to clear the air as soon as possible.

“I do like you. A lot, actually. And I know I have this stupid reputation of sleeping around but I don’t want you to think that I see you like those other women.” Kakashi feels as if he’s about to throw up. He’s not used to putting his heart out on the line like this but it was now or never. “You’re so much more to me than that and I wish I had the courage to say something to you sooner instead of seeking out fake comfort from the others. I swear to you when I was going to kiss you the other night I had no intention of leaving you after.” He stops when Y/N steps closer to him.

“Gai said something yesterday that you haven’t slept with anyone in a while. What changed?” The question had been eating at Y/N for the longest time. No matter how much cleaning she did, the question still lingered in the back of her mind.

“You kissed me.” His response clearly needed clarification from the shocked look Y/N gave him, “well, my cheek.”

“When?”

“When I took you and Iruka home.”

“Why?”

“I thought that it meant I might have a chance with you. But the next day you didn’t seem to remember anything, and I was a fool for thinking that you might’ve liked me back.” Now he’s convinced he’s going to throw up from how nervous he was feeling. He hated how his stomach churned, and he hated that he didn’t know how to prepare for the rejection he was about to get. Y/N just stood there, like a doe in headlights. He opened his mouth to apologize for showing up unannounced and bombarding her with this information, but her actions catch him off guard.

It happened quickly, too fast for his liking. She had planted a brief over-the-mask kiss on his lips. The action proved to be louder than any words she could have said. She was blushing, and he loved how adorable she looked when she was all shy like that.

“I like you too.” She beamed at him. For a moment the two got lost in each other, but when she started feeling shy again, she cleared her throat.

“If I remember correctly, you do owe me dinner.” She playfully teases, calling back to the race that he won lost during their mission. She couldn’t see it, but he was smiling widely under his mask. He was happy that they were back to this playful banter.

“I suppose I do, don’t I? Would you like to come over for dinner?” He asks, setting down the forehead protector on a nearby table.

“I would love to.” She smiles, even more, when Kakashi offers her his arm and she happily loops her own around it. The two of them head out and make their way to his place. Kakashi doesn’t care for the looks that are being thrown at the two. The same probably couldn’t be said for Y/N, for some of the women glared at her in jealousy. He could sense some of her discomfort when she moved a little closer to him, a glaring woman passing by too close to her for her liking. Kakashi moves his arm around her, wanting her to feel as protected as possible.

“How was your day?” He asks, hoping to distract her from whatever negative thoughts she might’ve been thinking. The walk to his place was peaceful from there on out. He listened to everything she was saying and even told her about what had happened in the past few days. They got to talking about the book again, and it reminded Kakashi that he had to give it back since he had finished it.

Y/N entered his place and immediately noticed how clean it was. He leads her to the kitchen, another area of his home that is extremely clean. He looks through his fridge, determining the options that he could give her.

“What’s on the menu, Chef Hatake?” She asks him from the counter. He smiles at her teasing and pours both of them some sake.

“We can have some miso-soup with eggplant, an eggplant pasta, vegetable soup, or my personal specialty.”

“I think your specialty sounds too good to pass up.” She nods, watching him prepare everything.

The conversation between the two was effortless. They got to know each other more and more with each question the other asked. At some point, she even got up from the counter to watch him clean the fish, wondering how he did it. How the events led from him telling her how to take the bones out to them kissing (with his mask still on) in front of the running sink was a mystery in itself. Y/N let out little moans of approval when he pulled her closer to him, and she felt herself get excited when he began to push her back towards his bedroom. She falls back when the edge of his bed met the back of her knees but she wasted no time in pulling Kakashi down with her.

As the kiss got more and more heated, Kakashi felt the need to pull away momentarily.

“We don’t have to do this.” He whispers to her.

“You don’t want to?”

“No!” He clears his throat, “no, I just don’t want you to regret anything.”

“Am I just going to be a one night stand?”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.”

She smiles at his response and he pushes her gently back on the bed. She reaches her hands up towards the edges of his mask. For some reason, he can’t bring himself to stop her hands. It’s not like he doesn’t have time to stop her either. She’s moving her hand so slowly to his face that it has his body frozen on top of hers. Is his heart beating this quickly because of how her legs were wrapped around him?

No, it wasn’t. It was going this hard because this had been the first time someone had seen his face in a setting this intimate. It was beating this hard because he was finally bearing his full face, heart, and soul to someone. It was beating this hard because he had his love under him, looking at his face with such care in her eyes.

Her fingers gently skimmed over the scar on his left eye, and he thinks she was going to ask about it with the way the corners of her mouth pulled down, but he was grateful when her index finger moved down along his jaw. Her hand cups his chin and pulls him down for a proper kiss, at least he thought that was what was going to happen. He closes his eyes slowly as her face came closer to his and braces himself for the first real kiss that he would have. A slight pressure on his left eye makes him move away in surprise. Y/N’s eyes widen when she saw his reaction and quickly began to apologize.

“S-sorry, I didn’t mean to—” but her apologies were sealed away when his lips press against hers. His hand moved from the bed to hold her face as gently as she once held his. He kisses her slowly, taking his sweet time. He didn’t know how to communicate his feelings well with words, but damn did he know how to communicate with those lips. He tilts her head back so it’s resting against the pillow again and continues to kiss her in a way that’s ruining her panties.

Y/N spreads her legs further on the bed, allowing Kakashi to completely settle in between them. As soon as his bulge pressed against her core, she lets out a pleased sigh, one that’s swallowed by Kakashi’s mouth. She can feel him smile against her lips, and she smiles too.

Kakashi’s whole body feels like it’s floating. The way her hands move around his body is sending shivers in every direction and he wishes that her hands will always be touching him in some way. There’s comfort in the way her arms move around his neck and pull him even closer. There’s more comfort when she tugs on his hair gently. Kakashi surprises himself when he lets out a moan when she pairs a tug of his hair with a roll of her hips.

His heart is jumping with joy with every kiss she gives him. Her lips begin to trail away from his lips and move to his cheeks, nose, eyes, scar, forehead, anywhere they can reach. He can’t help the smile that overtakes his features, feeling so grateful for the love he was getting. He’s never given it a second thought when other people kiss him, but to be honest other people’s kisses weren’t making him feel so giddy inside. He can’t help but roll his hips into her core when her mouth meets his sweet spot, and he lets out a deep groan that has Y/N clenching down on nothing. His hands move down her body, and he lets his fingertips dance along the hem of her shirt. Her lips pull away from his neck as she nods at him, throwing her hands up in order to make it easier for him to pull her shirt over her head.

Kakashi groans at the sight beneath him. Y/N pulls him down to meet her lips again, getting shy from the way he was looking at her. Her hands move down his back to tug his shirt, and he seems to get the hint when he pulls away briefly to take off his shirt. Y/N doesn’t get time to admire his body. His lips are on hers in a heated kiss and they both begin to unbutton the other’s pants.

“Wait,” Y/N whispers in between kisses, gently pushing his hands away from the waistband of her pants.

“Your wound,” Kakashi comments as he moves back on the bed. He helps her take her pants off slowly, and his eyes immediately inspect the bandages on her leg. A small frown is placed on his lips, “do you think we should wait?” He worries, but her hands pulling down his pants make them all concerns go away.

“No.” She simply replies, undressing the man in front of her. With each passing minute, their kiss gets more and more heated, and they’re in less and less clothes. Kakashi takes brief moments to admire the girl beneath him. He could tell she was shy, and he couldn’t begin to fathom why. His mouth moves from hers and begins to kiss down her neck, searching for the spot that drew the sweetest moans from her. Y/N tugs on his hair so gently that it was endearing. Her legs tighten around his now bare waist to grind her core against his hard cock. She’s making him lose his self-composure, but he wasn’t one to complain.

He continues to kiss down her neck and down the valley of her breasts before moving to wrap his mouth around her taut nipple. The action makes her arch her back in his favour, and he glances up to watch her flushed reactions. He switches to the other nipple, making sure they were both getting the attention that they deserve. He can’t help himself but let his teeth sink in gently around the supple skin, and from the gasp that she emits, she seems to like it. Before he lets himself get carried away, he continues to slowly kiss down her stomach, his cock twitching in his underwear in anticipation. By the time the laced edges of her panties reach his mouth, he bites down again. He pulls her underwear down with his teeth, and Y/N, if possible, grows wetter from the sight.

“Tsk, stop hiding from me,” Kakashi frowns when she closes her legs shyly, “you’re too gorgeous for that.” He shakes his head, giving a little smirk when she blushes more from his compliment. If she gets any cuter, he will explode. Gently prying her legs open, Kakashi welcomes the sight before him. Her pussy was glistening, and it made his mouth water. Suddenly, he was the thirstiest man in the world.

Wasting no time, he dives right in. There was nothing endearing with the way that she was pulling on his hair now. He loved the mild pain he was feeling when she pulled on the soft tufts of grey hair. He loves how her legs are wrapping around his neck the way her arms once were. He loves how close she actually wants him.

He continues to move his tongue along her folds, happily collecting all of her juices. She tasted sweet, sweeter than he had imagined the only sweet thing Kakashi likes is y/n’s pussy. Y/N’s mouth is hanging open, letting out the softest sighs and gasps that has Kakashi’s tongue happily lapping more and more of her juices to hear the noises.

“Kashi..” Y/N moans out the nickname in a daze, too lost in her own pleasure to notice how it affected the man in between her legs. His tongue circles around her entrance, and Y/N whines from the teasing gesture. She gasps when he sucks on her clit suddenly, a warm wave of pleasure coursing through her body from the action.

She feels his tongue push into her entrance and she mewls in response. The wet muscle darts in and out of her soaking core, and she’s forced to close her eyes as her toes curl from the pleasure. She tries not to dig in her heels into his back, but his tongue is making her body react, not her brain. She feels a warm hand move to her hips, feeling it push them down against the bed. Y/N opens her eyes, not even realizing that she was rocking her hips against his mouth. She wishes she had kept them closed, maybe she would have lasted longer that way. As soon as she looks down she loses it.

Kakashi had one hand holding her hips down while the other was jerking himself off. She had made eye contact with him, and the pure lust in his eyes was enough on its own to have her cumming on his tongue. The pleasure rolled through her body in waves, and for a second she felt like she was floating off the bed. The knot that had formed in her stomach had released, and she threw her head back to catch her breath. Y/N can’t remember the last time she had felt that good, and at the moment she understood why he was so popular with the ladies. He cleans her up with his tongue, making her legs twitch when he gives her clit a gentle kiss. Unbeknownst to her, that was the sweetest treatment it would get that night because his calloused fingers would be a lot rougher on it than his slick tongue. Y/N sits up and eagerly pulls him into a kiss, figuring that the action would be better than words of praise. She kisses his neck and chest while her hands fully tug off his underwear. Before Y/N could suck him dry, he stops her.

“Wait wait, I want to make you feel good.”

“I want to make you feel good too..”

“Tomorrows another day,” Kakashi says. He realizes what he says, and he hopes that it didn’t come off as if he was expecting her to do anything for him. “W-wait I-I didn’t mean to assume-“

Before he could voice his concerns, Y/N cuts him off with a kiss.

“Tomorrow’s another day.” She smiles at him, making all of his worries go away. He mirrors her smile, feeling the warmth creep up his chest and over his cheeks. He kisses her sweetly and lays her back, once again settling in between her legs. He continues to kiss her, taking his sweet time to work her up again. It didn’t take long, considering how much she wanted him inside her. Y/N, feeling more confident now than before reaches in-between their bodies as they kiss and wraps her delicate fingers around his cock. Kakashi groans against her lips, and her body shivers at the sound. She moves so the tip of his dick pushes against her folds, and they both moan against each-others mouths, lost in the brief moment. He lines himself up with her entrance and pulls away from her.

“Are you sure?” He asks once again, wanting to give her the opportunity to voice her any worries she might have before doing this. She simply nods and pulls his hips against hers, feeling him sink into her inch by inch. She drops her head back in the pillows and bites her lip from the pleasurable pressure.

“O-Oh…you’re big Kakashi..” She sighs out when he bottoms out, “don’t move yet.” She whispers before connecting her lips with his. He listens to her, of course, and kisses her sweetly, enjoying the moment. She felt good, too good to be true and for a moment Kakashi thinks that he’s dreaming. He doesn’t think he’s that big, bigger than average at most, but he’s convinced that she’s just tight. He takes note of how good she feels wrapped around him, her walls fitting snugly around his cock. It was like a warm sleeve made just for him, that’s how perfect it fit. He feels her hands move to his waist to push his hips back gently, and he takes the hint. He slowly begins to move in and out of her, dropping his head in the crook of her neck to let out an audible groan.

He’s caught himself by surprise. He’s never this vocal during sex but then again he doesn’t think he’s ever had it be this good. She feels amazing, and with each thrust, he can feel her get wetter and wetter. As he picks up the pace, more and more of both of their moans can be heard.

“F-faster…please.” She breathes out, digging her nails into his back. He bites into her neck and rocks into her faster, her moans and pleading in his ear allowing himself to lose himself in his own pleasure. He reaches in between their bodies and rubs her clit in small circles. His hips stutter when she clenches down around him.

“Fuck Y/N…” he pants into her ear, “I don’t know how much longer I can last.” He should be embarrassed really from how out of breath he sounded but the pleasure was too strong for him to give it a second thought. As long as he got her cum before him, then he would be happy. He rubs her clit faster, pushing into her deeper and deeper. The bed rocks harder, and he hopes that the loud thumps heard against the wall isn’t as loud as it sounded.

“I’m gonna..mmph…I-I’m gonna cum..” She pants out into his ear, and he can feel her pulsing around his cock. He moves his head to kiss her lips, encouraging her to let go. She reaches her high, and a string of moans and parts of his name stream out of her parted lips as he continued to rock into her, letting her ride out her high.

Kakashi throws his head back, letting out a few curse words from how tight she was. His hips stammer and he pulls out, cumming in thick, long ropes on her thighs. His whole body is shaking, and he can’t help but lean back into her. Both of their bodies are pressed together. He was supporting most of his weight on his forearms. Both of them were lost in their own bliss. Kakashi recovers fully before Y/N does, and he uses the little energy he has left to get a warm towel for her. He wipes the cum off her leg and makes sure she’s clean before tossing it to the side. He would worry about it later.

Y/N slowly opens her eyes, finding Kakashi staring at her. He has a hazy, yet goofy smile on his face and it warms her inside to see him happy. He holds out a folded t-shirt for her, hoping that she was planning on staying the night.

“Thank you.” She feels drained, in a good way, as she pulls the shirt over her head.

“Would you like some water?” He offers her a water bottle but she shakes her head, eyes droopy from how tired she was. She gets under the covers and cuddles up to his side.

“You still owe me dinner.” She mumbles sleepily. Kakashi chuckles, holding the woman closer to his warm body.

“I’ll buy you breakfast tomorrow.” He whispers, unsure if her closed eyes indicated that she was relaxing or sleeping. Either way, he smiles to himself, happy that for once everything worked in his favour.

#i have no idea what this says anymore #from my archived blog #i just felt like i needed to post some writing on here and this was the laziest way to do it :P #kakashi x reader #kakashi hatake x reader #naruto #strawberry mochi #it would still be nice if you could possibly #maybe let me know some kind of feedback so i know what works with my writing and what doesn't #thank you for your time #kakashi hatake smut #naruto x reader #kakashi x reader smut #kakashi smut #naruto smut

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blorbocedes · 11 months

Note

prompt: lewis' film debuting at cannes, nico only an hour away

Lewis' film is premiering at Cannes. Nico takes his daughters to go.

It's apparently in collaboration with Liberty Media, lots of big Hollywood A-listers attached as producers, and actual F1 tracks and cars in use. The story is loosely based on Lewis' life, the titular Black kid from a small town in England becoming the Greatest Of All Time. So not too loosely, the main character is named Louis Harrison after all.

It's the kind of feel-good inspirational movie that Nico thinks is important for his girls to watch. The promotion for the film went all out, inviting all F1 stars. Nico himself has been vaguely aware of this film, his social media guy told him his mentions and engagement was way up ever since the main cast included a German blonde, with some speculating it would focus on the "silver war." He clarified to the German tabloids he had absolutely nothing to do with the making of the film after they spread rumours about it being a collaboration.

His daughters, like their father, love to dress up and they walk the red carpet hand in hand in their matching floral dresses, and Nico in his organic, tailored velvet green suit; pausing for the photos.

Their seats aren't too awful, very middle of the pack. A few rows ahead Nico can recognize Lewis from the distinctive shape of his braids, and glittery jacket; talking to someone Nico assumes is the director. Nico never quite had that Hollywood fever, but it seems Lewis is enjoying his retirement.

As the theatre goes dark, his daughter appropriately chastises him for having his phone out, texting Vivian a thumbs up on when she wants the girls home before pocketing it. It starts off with Young Lewis -- or Louis -- watching Senna race, a voiceover about dreams and becoming the best. The younger actor is appropriately charming, doesn't have Lewis' gap tooth but has a mean scowl when people underestimate him. It reminds him a lot of the real Lewis. The usual diatribe about the humble beginnings, the actor playing Anthony being Louis' one man pit crew taking him to races within England, an incredible wholesome father-son racing representation, one Nico was lucky to experience in his own life.

Moving on to karting years, Louis as the only black kid getting certain looks from the rest of the boys, lily-white and jealous. One even shoves him while walking past, making a pointed racially charged comment. There is a time when Nico would've assumed this is exaggerated for dramatic purposes, that his experience on the paddock, even being around Lewis as tightknit as they were, was never that bad. But he knows better now, that there's some things he will simply never experience or flew over his head at that age, and makes a mental note to bring it up with his girls and make it a teachable moment later.

And then, a young blonde boy with the thickest German accent congratulates Louis on winning the race, and Louis' eyes go wide. "You're Julian Richter. Your family is racing legend, man."

Julian. Nico snorts. He supposed it's better than Erik or Klaus as far as stereotype go. He tries not to read too much into it, as Julian and Louis become best friends -- skateboarding on the tracks, instead of unicycling, probably to seem cooler or relating to the kids, -- and karting teammates. Something wistful in Nico aches when the scene is on a beach in Spain, and the characters in the face of their uncertain futures promise they're going to become F1 World Champions together.

The story focuses on Louis' unlikely odds, a chance meeting with an F1 team principal, nothing but a handshake promise and then the road to F1, to win on his rookie year.

And then Julian enters Formula 1. And then Julian signs with Redbull. And then Julian wins consecutive championships, in the backdrop of which his and Louis' friendship crumbles in jealousy and competitiveness, and Nico feels sick to his stomach because Julian Richter is Sebastian Vettel, and the racing legend family he comes from -- the Richters -- are the fucking Schumachers.

The regulations change, Louis starts winning, he has a famous actress of a girlfriend, there's a love story angle. It isn't until Louis wins his 4th title that Julian comes over to congratulate him, both equals again -- remember what we promised on that beach in Spain? and their friendship rekindles. If the timeline Nico's keeping track of adds up, that makes it 2016. His daughter excitedly squeezes his hand when the two characters embrace on screen, making up.

The third act conflict sets the stage for Abu Dhabi 2021, naturally. But before that, it does show Louis becoming complacent with winning, arrogant and cocky as his celebrity profile increased, a rocky relationship. And then, the Niki Lauda wise mentor older character who was there for Louis all this time passes, and it tugs at the heartstrings -- is also Louis' wake up call to change. His girlfriend ends things with him. The young Belgian villain has fully set the stage.

There's a lot of emphasis how winning this final race will match Harrison to Richter's record, the legacy of it all. And then, the controversial safety car decision. Louis Harrison has the championship slip out of his fingers. The crowd gasps, the FIA are not painted charitably, stubbornly sticking to the decision out of 'decorum' after the Mercedes team argues for it to be reversed. Someone definitely boos from the back.

One thing Nico can admit is the racing scenes are quite fun and realistic, even if Toto doesn't break headphones quite as often and once a car was in 5th gear instead of 3rd.

The Julian Richter character shows up after the race to tell Louis he's retiring to go plant trees, and that Louis needs to "win it back and match my dad's legacy, it's what he would've wanted." Nico wishes he knew where Sebastian was so they could lock eyes in this moment at this Frankenstein caricature of them, that exists only to support Louis.

'Loosely based' is correct, because this shows the next season after a lot of sulking and Louis not believing in himself, the Mercedes is immediately competitive instead of whatever the W-13 was. It's a repeat of the 2021 season, which is a repeat of the 2016 season when Julian and Louis were bitter rivals. Louis is also more outspoken now, and shows how he's changed. It all comes down to the final race. The film narrates the speech from the beginning, of believing in yourself, there's a montage of Louis ever since he was a kid falling and getting back up with dramatic music swelling, and then a shot of him slapping down his visor. Lights out and away we go.

Louis Harrison wins the race.

They got Crofty to do a voiceover line for 'This year while off the track Louis Harrison has found his voice, and on it, once again he’s found his groove, and now he finds himself alongside Richter, as top in the record books, the world championship record is equaled,' His girlfriend jumps into his arms in parc ferme. Somewhere, Julian is planting a tree and smiling at the small radio. It's hugs and kisses all around the team, champagnes bursting.

The actual crowd erupts in cheers of emotional catharsis, and it cuts to a future scene of the real Lewis Hamilton in an interview setting, being asked about how he feels about his journey in F1 and if he ever thought he would make it -- if he believed in himself, winks at the camera.

The screen goes black. A Kendrick Lamar song plays as the credits roll.

There is a minutes long standing ovation, which Nico stands and encourages his daughters to clap along, with an inscrutable feeling in his chest. It was a good movie, very awards season bait, the director and lead actors are on stage giving a speech about how much it means to be able to inspire young people with Hamilton's real life story. Nico walks down the steps with others almost on autopilot.

He hadn't realized it, he didn't know he'd been holding out some tiny shred of hope that they would watch this film and through sheer nostalgia of shared memories, he and Lewis would have something to talk about again. He didn't realise how much weight he'd held to those childhood memories until he saw it be attributed to Sebastian Vettel of all people, who was too young to kart with them. It's a piece of fiction, that Nico has no right to harbour resentment towards, he tells himself.

Nico stops for a second, and is in direct eyeline of Lewis in his glittery jacket who is conducting an interview. He feels frozen when they lock eyes.

"People are saying the true heart of the film is Julian and Louis' friendship. How closely does it mirror real life from the actual F1 scene? Like the whole best friends as kids. Would you say you guys are still close friends now, and will the driver it's based on be attending the screenings like a few other F1 drivers have?"

"Yeah definitely, man, as fans have already figured out that friendship is loosely based on my friendship with Seb -- Sebastian Vettel. And yeah, it's -- you've been racing these guys since you're in karting, you feel like you've known them your whole life. [...] No, I don't think Seb's attending, this isn't really his scene."

Lewis meets Nico's eyes for a split second, before turning back to the camera. Nico carefully plucks the emotion he's feeling for something to be discussed with a licensed professional. To be quite honest, he didn't know Lewis could still make him feel like this.

His daughter tugs at his suit jacket sleeve, and Nico guides them towards the vegan ice cream and gelato stalls. There's a PG rated animated film screening at 4.

#sometimes you have to write a 1.6k prompt you sent yourself #ohhhhhhh I needed to write this to expel the demons #why 7? because seb wins 5 😁#please give feedback it's too long for me to starve off likes only #brocedes #f1 rpf #my fics #also 7 because irl lewis never gets that 8th 😔 so the narrative becomes equalling Michael not beating him

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homestuckreplay · 18 days

Text

Homestuck Is A Game, Who Is The Player?

Week 3 Retrospective

'Video games have long been associated with spectatorship as well as play, from their origins in quarter-fueled arcades, where high score displays implied the presence of admiring or competitive spectators, to their migration to home screens and consoles. Live streaming chat emulates these older models, but its interaction with economies of scale on streaming platforms brings a different kind of intimacy and intensity to the experience. Chat lets spectators feel like they are there with the streamer as well as a part of a crowd, even if they are alone in their room.' [Jeremy Antley - emphasis mine]

From Homestuck’s very first page, the comic has made something clear. We are not allowed to immerse ourselves in John Egbert’s world. There is a layer of separation between us, an interface mediating our access to his life and story, a voiceover narration from the person who’s really in control. Who is this person, and what form does their control over John take?

Homestuck is presented like a video game, yet unlike a video game, we don’t control the character’s movements with arrow keys or have the chance to type our own commands directly into the text box. Instead of being able to explore the game on our own terms, we are confined to a specific and predetermined route, even though others seem theoretically possible. Simply put, we are not the ones playing the game.

Essay continued under the cut - about 2.6k words

I think there are two really important questions to consider when analyzing the meta elements of Homestuck and treating it as a game. The first - what kind of game is it? The second - where exactly do we stand in relation to the player(s)?

The most obvious answer to question one is ‘Homestuck is a text based adventure game.’ This guide to text based adventures is a great overview, and we can map the example commands here onto commands we’ve seen in Homestuck. ‘Examine room’ (p.4) is a one-word action, ‘Captchalogue smoke pellets’ (p.9) is an action and direct object, and ‘Nail poster to wall’ (p.19) includes the indirect object. John hasn’t given any orders yet - he’s too nice a guy for that - but ‘Report progress to TG’ (p.39) is definitely communicating with another character. All of these, and most other command lines, feel like reasonable instructions that could be recognized by a game.

However, commands like ‘Fondly regard cremation’ (p.52) and ‘Play haunting piano refrain’ (p.77) honestly feel too characterful to be fully interpreted by a computer, and ‘Squawk like an imbecile and shit on your desk’ (p.16) is… well, I tried typing this into the command prompt for the classic text adventure Zork, and got the following response.

A text adventure is just not set up to interpret wacky, left field ideas, much less respond to them in an entertaining way. And we know there is a real person behind Homestuck doing exactly that.

If my party enters the wizard’s study in Dungeons & Dragons 4th Edition, and I tell the Dungeon Master that I squawk like an imbecile and sit on the wizard’s desk, that statement will be understood. Sure, the DM will probably call me an idiot and put a nasty spike trap on the desk, but what I said will become part of the story in the way that a nonsense command in a text based video game never can. It’s interesting to think of Homestuck as a tabletop roleplaying game, where the narrator is the Game Master, the command prompt is a player, and John is a player character (presumably TT, TG and GG are the rest of his party and they’re just really late to the session).

Homestuck isn’t just text based, though - it has a strong visual element, including interfaces and overlays where the player can click and drag items between John’s inventory and his environment, or around his space. This suggests it could also be a point and click adventure game, a genre that grew out of text based games as graphics improved, and is defined by a strong inventory management component (check), puzzle solving quests (check - we’ve recently solved our first quest of acquiring the Sburb Beta) and dialog trees (????). The sprite based, isometric art style is really good for getting an overview of the space and seeing possible interactable objects, and Homestuck does feature extended dialog sequences - we don’t know if there are other possible inputs from John, but it's interesting to think that there might be.

These three genres - text based adventures, point and click adventures, and tabletop roleplaying games - all developed throughout the 1970s and 80s. It’s reasonable that Andrew Hussie (born 1979) could have grown up with some of these games. But to answer the second question, ‘where do we stand in relation to the player’, we might need to look at media forms still in their infancy - let’s plays, livestreams, and actual play.

[Michael Sawyer, 2004]

In the past few years, ‘Let’s Play [Game]’ has become a relatively popular thread format on the Something Awful forums, as well as personal websites. This began with posters taking screenshots of their playthroughs of a game and adding commentary in the text. The medium has now advanced to video and is typically hosted on YouTube, with commentary overlaid. Either format gives a creator the space to play through as much of the game as they choose, and then edit exactly what content they want to show to the audience, providing commentary after the fact.

Homestuck, with its per-page illustrations, could be seen as a long thread of forum posts by the player, each including screenshots as they move through the game. The inclusion of short Flash animations shows the edge into video, and makes me wonder if we’ll see longer or more complex videos, perhaps with voiceover narration, as Homestuck expands its focus. The self-referential and aggressive yet helpful commentary in Homestuck is similar in tone to Sawyer's playthrough above, and could easily be the work of a player who knows where the story will go, at least in the short term, and is dropping hints to the audience while purposefully concealing some things.

Livestreaming video games is a similar concept to Let's Plays, but performed in real time. Often hosted on Justin.tv, an open video broadcast website that’s been gaining prominence in the past couple of years, a livestream is an improvised and unedited way to watch someone game. Any commentary from the creator happens without knowledge of how the playthrough will turn out. Homestuck, by Hussie’s own admission, is being written similarly in real life - they don’t know more than the broad strokes of how the story will go, and it’s possible that neither the author nor the narrator knows the long term implications of an action such as John stealing his dad’s PDA.

Livestreams open the possibility for viewers to influence game events, if the streamer listens to their audience. We know this is true in Homestuck - readers are able to submit commands, and some are chosen for the story. The real time nature of Homestuck, waiting each day for the new update, is equivalent to waiting for a streamer to come online and start playing again so we can find out where their game goes next. This is compounded by us having no access to Homestuck outside of the streamer - we cannot buy and play this game for ourselves, it’s still in some kind of early or limited access, and the streamer controls all our knowledge.

The livestream is definitely most similar to how Homestuck is made by its author, but it's hard to say whether its narrator is commentating in real time, or after the fact. I can't find any definite clues in our pages so far - I think the narrator wants to seem smart and superior, but I can't say whether they have the knowledge to back it up.

[img source]

Our final media format is known as Actual Play. Almost a year ago, the creators of Penny Arcade (along with Dungeons & Dragons game designer Chris Perkins) began releasing Acquisitions Incorporated, a short-run, officially licensed podcast where the group plays through a D&D adventure to demonstrate gameplay interspersed with jokes. This isn’t the first time a TTRPG publisher has recorded sessions to help people learn the game, but this idea seems to be crossing over into the entertainment genre - and webcomics are part of that movement.

In the first episode, the group have a brief aside. The DM says that ‘some players prefer to refer to their characters in the third person… others prefer to get into the first,’ and one player says they’ve observed the same thing in World of Warcraft. What’s not explicitly said is that the Game Master typically refers to the player characters in second person, describing what happens to ‘you’ and what ‘you’ see - much like streamers talking to their chat. The blocks of narrative text below pictures in Homestuck could easily be a Game Master balancing giving information to an unruly player, and providing entertainment for the audience. John’s lucky or unlucky moments with his sylladex could be the result of particularly good or bad dice rolls from his unseen player.

Actual play is a really great format for deep diving into a small cast of characters, and exploring their emotional state in ways that aren't intrinsic to a lot of video games. As we're already seeing the beginnings of John's emotional arc, we know this will be a focus, but we need two to four more characters with equally large roles in the story to really form a TTRPG party. Actual play also tends to include a lot of combat and its mechanics. We know Homestuck can handle crunchy mechanics due to the sylladex, but I'd expect to see the Strife concept become just as in depth and central to the story if Homestuck ends up fitting into this mold.

All three of these formats can have a mass audience, just like Homestuck does in reality - but Homestuck also feels like a very personal experience. Two people playing the same video game, even a highly linear game such as Portal or one that doesn’t involve much active interaction such as a visual novel, have slightly different gameplay based on the speed they move through the story and their missteps on the way to finding the solution to a puzzle.

Similarly, my experience of Homestuck is different from yours. I read the new update every day, while I know some people wait for a few days of updates to build up and then read a larger chunk. Maybe I clicked ‘Aggrieve’ and ‘Abjure’ three times each on p.90, alternating the options, while you clicked ‘Aggrieve’ five times in sequence and then ‘Abjure’ only twice. Maybe I didn’t realize p.110 had an interactive element at first, and skipped over it until somebody pointed it out to me (really telling on myself here). These elements of Homestuck that we have direct control over are currently only a small part of the story, but they do exist.

In this way, Homestuck feels a little bit like sitting in the living room as a kid watching your older brother play a game, begging him to let you take over for a minute, occasionally doing so until he gets frustrated with your inability to Strife and takes the controller back. The nostalgia of the simplistic graphics and the 70s and 80s games that are being evoked only adds to this cozy feeling. If Homestuck starts to add more interactive elements, such as branching paths, opportunities for us to take over the cursor, or a chance for us to use John’s sylladex ourselves and choose what he picks up, it might be worth thinking of Homestuck as different iterations of the same game, each of us watching our own, slightly different player, and even co-playing with them.

So, who IS this narrator? In my mind, I’m trying to draw a clear distinction between the author and the narrator. Hussie is the author in the real world, and the narrator, or player, or GM, exists within the work. Their role is best described on page 82:

‘The game presently eluding you is only the latest sleight of hand in the repertoire of an unseen riddler, one to engender a sense not of mirth, but of lack. His coarse schemes are those less of a prankster than a common pickpocket. His riddle is Absence itself.’

The narrator is this unseen riddler (or perhaps unseenRiddler?), providing a secondary layer of control over what happens and what we are able to see. They’re the person clicking and dragging objects around John’s room, and choosing what actions to take next. The narration is their perspective on the game - whether we see this as a GM describing a scene to their players, or a streamer reading aloud information that the game has given them and providing their own commentary.

So, we're watching the narrator play Homestuck, in whatever form it takes - but there's another layer to this. On page 22, an equivalence is made between the Sburb Beta, which John was supposed to receive on April 10 (and finally acquired on April 13 in-story, p.100), and the Homestuck Beta, which launched to us on April 10, but was quickly canceled and replaced with Homestuck proper on April 13. The Homestuck beta is linked within the comic, and might be canon within it - the narrator making an initial run at the game before restarting their save (perhaps on a different computer or console?) and trying again. Homestuck the game is currently about a kid who lives in the suburbs - and if the name and logo are anything to go by, Sburb could also be a suburbs-themed game. While we watch the riddler play Homestuck, the riddler will be watching John play the game Sburb. How deep does this go? Are there more layers inwards or outwards?

I’ve been puzzling this over for days, and I’m definitely left with more questions than I can answer. Here are the ones I'm focused on:

Is the unseen riddler playing the game as intended? Now that they’ve passed the tutorial, are they keeping the game on the rails and trying their best to follow a linear story, or are they pushing the boundaries, going for some kind of pacifist or resource-stripped run, trying to interfere with John’s intended story? Have they played the game before, and if so, how does this affect their gameplay?

If the unseen riddler is a character within the story, distinct from the external author, are we the true audience? Will there be an audience within the story, or perhaps other players? If so, how big will it be? What kind of reach does Homestuck the game have, and how many people are playing it or tuning in to watch?

How permeable are the boundaries? Is John simply pixels on a screen for the unseen riddler to play with, with no agency of his own outside of the riddler’s interpretation, like if we were playing The Sims? Or is it possible for the riddler to enter the game, or for John to leave it, and the two of them to communicate directly? Or a middle ground - something like ‘character bleed’ in TTRPGs, where a player embodies a character for so long that despite their not being real, they come to influence each other even outside of gameplay?

What the hell is the Midnight Crew? Is this a different game that exists separately to Homestuck? Will our riddler, or a different one, eventually play it? If we have three games - Homestuck, Midnight Crew, and Sburb - what exactly is the relationship between them, and how interrelated are they?

This is a lot of thoughts for what is, at time of writing, is 125 pages of comedy webcomic. But the story is just beginning, and we’ve been told it’s going to be a long day. Anything could be important, and with the frequent in-text nods to the meta elements - ‘examine third and fourth walls of room’ (p.61), ‘you decide it’s time for less meta, and more beta’ (p.113), the title appearing in the clouds on p.82 that John may or may not be able to see, the integration of the physical captchalogue card into the sylladex interface on p.98 - I don’t want to draw any firm boundaries, or make any assumptions about what is and what isn’t part of the story. Instead, I’ve cataloged the meta elements of Homestuck that might be worth paying attention to as we move through the comic, to develop a more concrete theory in time.

#running up against 'need to take classes in academic writing / get a professor to grade my homestuck papers'#also running up against the idea of 'can i cite things from later than 2009' it's helpful but does go against the spirit of the bit kinda #homestuck #analysis #im open to thoughts and feedback always

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thefarminggoblin · 1 year

Text

Cuddling with the Gotei 13, with visuals

I’ve been in a super soft mood lately so here are some soft headcanons for the captains and lieutenants of the Gotei 13.

This is a part 1.

In order, the to do list is:

- Lieutenants

- Seated officers

- Vizards

- Arrancar + defectors

- Karakura gang

No warnings. Just good ol’ fashioned fluff 🥰

🔥 Yamamoto

(platonic - are there any simps I should apologise to here?)

“Yes, what is-OH!” He’s surprised as you jump into his arms. He’s not sure if it’s appropriate for him to return the hug. If it’s a spontaneous friendly hug, he’d probably just pull away a little and ruffle your hair fondly or pat your shoulder, “While I appreciate the affection, I am not sure what it was you are seeking. However, you could be spending your time much more productively. Now, go and finish your duties.”

BUT! If you’re visibly upset over something he wouldn’t hesitate to give you a comforting bear hug. “There, there. Whatever is bothering you, you are strong enough to push through it. Until then, you have my ear.”

🥷 Soi Fon

You wake up, unable to move. “Soi-chan?” No response. You try wriggling, but the more you struggle the more you become trapped, “Soi-chan, we need to get up.”

“Mmm… a few more minutes won’t kill anyone.”

“…you sound like Captain Urahara.”

You’ve never seen get out of bed so fast.

💉 Unohana Retsu

Her sweet voice rouses you from sleep, “Good morning, my love.”

“Good morning, honey.”

She kisses your forehead. You move to leave, only to find yourself suddenly caged in underneath her, a twinkle of mischief in her eye.

“Shall we take advantage of these early hours?” Her voice has dropped a few octaves, and you find yourself unwilling to leave her embrace as she begins peppering kisses down your neck.

🌸 Kuchiki Byakuya

You gaze into the beautiful slate grey eyes of your lover. His face is serene, his eyes half lidded and a tiny smile on his lips. You’re both still trying to catch your breath after your previous… activities. The tender expression on his face as he strokes your cheek ever so softly makes your heart ache. You adore him, and he adores you. You mirror his movements, hoping to convey the same emotion, brushing away some of the hair sticking to his damp forehead.

“Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?”

His eyes widen slightly, gasping so softly you swear you imagined it. “I mean it, ‘Kuya. You’re so beautiful it hurts.”

He takes your hand and kisses the palm, then your wrist. He shifts himself slightly to press a kiss to your forehead, his lips lingering on your brow.

“Beloved, it is you who are the beautiful one.”

You wriggle even closer to him, nestling your head under his chin as he draws you in. You fall asleep to the soft sounds of his soft breathing.

🦊 Komamura Sajin

You treasure mornings like this. Mornings when it’s raining heavily, and the two of you are snuggled together. Gazing into each other’s eyes, stroking each other’s faces, tangled up in each other’s arms.

“Sajin?”

“Yes, dearest?”

“You know I love you right?”

“Of course I do-“

“In both forms.”

His eyes widen in disbelief.

“You don’t have to keep shifting for my sake. I know it takes a toll on you. Your appearance doesn’t change how I feel.”

His eyes tear up, but he can’t bear to expose you to his insecurities getting the better of him, so he buries his head in your chest and draws you to him.

His shoulders start shaking and you feel your heart break, “Oh sweetheart, no, it’s okay.”

“Are you certain you can love me in my other form?” His voice is muffled but you can hear it crack with emotion.

You cup his face and make him look at you, “It’s who you are. I wouldn’t change you for the world.”

He sighs and kisses your eyelids before gently pressing his lips to yours.

You grin, “And besides. You’re super cuddly either way, my love.”

Finally, he smiles, “I love you.”

“I love you more.”

🍶 Kyoraku Shunsui

You’re suddenly tackled onto the bed, and Shunsui is merciless as he tickles your sides, “And just wheeeere do you think you’re going, hmm?”

You’re laughing so much you can’t breathe. “Sh-shuun- AHAHAHAA- st-stoooop-“

Brief, bristly kisses are placed up and down the column of your neck, “I will as soon as you tell me where you hid it.”

“N-never!”

“I see.” He says gravely as he stops, sighing, “Tsk, I’ll have to resort to some other tactics then.”

“I-I s-s-suurrende-AHH SHUNSTOPPIT!!” He’s tickling again, this time blowing raspberries into your skin. “I GIVE UUUUP.”

He stops and pulls you onto his chest, pressing kisses against your scalp as he runs his hands up and down your back soothingly. He sighs as he runs his fingers through your hair, wishing the moment could last longer. But he had to leave before his lieutenant scolded him for his tardiness.

“So, a deal’s a deal. Where’d you put my hat, petal?”

❄️ Hitsugaya Toshiro

“‘Toshi?”

You’ve caught him napping on his office couch again. A flash of annoyance runs through you; judging by the dark circles under his eyes, you can guess that he’s been pulling long hours, trying to pick up his lieutenant’s slack again. He’s likely spent the night in his office.

He needs real sleep. You try to gently rouse him, stroking his hair and face gently and calling his name.

“Mmm… whaaaa?” He eventually opens his eyes, blinking rapidly. They’re bloodshot from eye strain. You take his hand and give a little tug.

“Come on, honey. You need to get some sleep in a real bed. It’ll be more comfortable.” You make to pull him up again, but tugs right back, and you fall back onto the couch with a yelp.

Before you can protest, he readjusts the both of you, encompassing you in his arms and pressing a few kisses on your face. It’s surprisingly comfortable. He sighs, nuzzling his face against yours.

“I’ve got all the comfort I require right here.”

🗡 Zaraki Kenpachi

You knew better than to ambush Kenpachi while he was doing his hair, but getting payback for him bumping your arm - on purpose - while you were doing your make up yesterday was far too tempting.

However, now you found yourself in the middle of the most intense pillow fight of your life. You’d managed to get to the bedroom faster than him, getting in 2 decent shots before you were unarmed.

In hindsight: this was a TERRIBLE idea.

“You’ve done it now, kid.” His face lights up with glee as he snatches the 2 offending objects from the floor and lobs them at you, which lands you flat on your back on the bed.

You manage to grab one and throw it back, but he catches it single handedly. He springs onto the bed, straddling you, the pillow raised above his head as he grins maniacally.

“Any last words?”

You did the only thing you could think of: spring up and throw your arms around his waist, putting on your best puppy dog eyes.

“Truce?”

“Truce.” The pillow was thrown to the side, and suddenly you were laying on his chest, his strong arms wrapped around your waist. “I win, though.”

🧪 Kurotsuchi Mayuri

In the blink of an eye, the book you’re reading is ripped from your grasp and thrown across the room. A split second later the air leaves your lungs as your lover’s head lands on your chest, his body crushing yours.

“‘yuri, can’t… breathe…”

“Mmmph.” He grunts, shifting his body so you’re not completely smothered and you take a deep breath. He huffs, burying his face in your chest.

“Bad day?”

“Mmph...”

“Failed experiment?”

“Mmph.”

“Poor dear.”

“Mmph!!”

“Oh. Head rubs. Gotcha.”

“…mmph.”

He’s asleep in minutes, snoring softly. He may conduct countless experiments on himself to improve his stamina, but he’ll never be a robot.

🍵 Ukitake Jushiro

Jushiro places a soft kiss on your lips as you slowly open your eyes, “Good morning, sweetheart. Sleep well?”

His soft smile is almost blinding, “Mmm, how long have you been awake?”

“Not very long.” He smirks, mischief suddenly gleaming in his eyes, “You had quite the look on your face.”

“…I was dreaming.”

“Oh, was it an interesting dream?”

You smirk back at him, you fingers tap dancing on his chest, “…possibly.”

He chuckles, “I see. Then, shall we make your dream a reality?”

You’re suddenly pinned underneath him, laughing as he peppers your face with kisses. It quickly becomes heated, all deep kisses and roaming hands and-

“You wrecked it, monkey brains!”

“No, YOU wrecked it, booger breath!”

-aaaand there they are. You huff, the moment ruined. Jushiro rolls off you, a frustrated groan leaving him as he pulls the sheets over his head.

“I’m not here.”

You join him. “Neither am I.”

#I’m trying to branch out of JUST writing for Jushiro #but it’s hard and I’m not sure if stuff is ooc #don’t be afraid to give me feedback in the comments!#yamamoto genryusai #soi fon x reader #unohana retsu x reader #hitsugaya toshiro x reader #zaraki kenpachi x reader #kyoraku shunsui x reader #ukitake jushiro x reader #kuchiki byakuya x reader #kurotsuchi mayuri x reader #komamura sajin x reader #bleach x reader #I took liberties with Komamura’s #man needs more love #casually ignoring canon is my toxic trait

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kazumist · 1 year

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TAKE A CHANCE WITH ME .ᐟ

✩ — childe had always told you he liked you, but you never took his words seriously and dismissed them as his antics. however, after seven years of pining, can he prove to you that he's actually serious about his feelings? (or in which childe wants you to have a chance with him.)

✩ — childe x gn!reader. best friends to lovers trope. fluff, and uhm angst if u squint. no cws. wc: 784. reblogs and feedback are appreciated !!

✩ — zhongli was mentioned for no reason at all tbh. reader isn't oblivious btw it's more like indenial i think idk theyre complicated lol but yea you'll get it once u read it,, a proper drabble for this ramble i did back then :]

childe had told you numerous times that he had liked you for as long as you had known him. he always slips it into the conversation, even if it's completely off-topic. if you could get a penny every time childe says he likes you, then you'd be pretty rich right now.

it's not that you doubted his words (well, okay, maybe you do have a bit of doubt); it's more like you always thought that it was just another one of his antics. though you don't actually know if he's serious with what he says on this matter, you just dismiss it as childe teasing once again.

you and childe had this thing on fridays where you’d watch movies together. it’s a new movie every week unless you both agree to rewatch something. and while sitting on his couch, it isn’t any different. childe has said that he likes you about two times now, both with that cheeky grin he usually wears when he's teasing you.

(you wondered about it at some point—what if it's all true? maybe the reason he confesses in this way is to make it less awkward, and he could take it back if he ever gets rejected? you wouldn't really know, not when you can't keep count of the "i like you"s that childe has told you the whole time you have known him.

but one question always stuck in the back of your mind: who are you to childe? or rather—who is childe to you?

if you were to ask that of someone else, they’d say that you’re his best friend—the most obvious answer. you two have been inseparable ever since you met. however, the term best friend for him didn’t sit well with you.)

the movie was paused due to your quick bathroom break, and as you were going back, you were telling childe about the time zhongli forgot his wallet while you two were out buying materials for your project. but by the time you sat back down, childe looked troubled—agitated, even.

you called his name once or twice, yet there was no response. it wasn’t until you snapped your fingers in front of childe’s face that he snapped out of his thoughts.

"hey, you look pretty bothered; should we ditch the movie for this week?" you asked him.

but he didn’t answer; instead, he asked, "i know this is sudden, but... did you at least believe me once?"

you were speechless. what did he mean by that? surely he isn’t referring to that, right? (even if you wanted to not believe it, deep inside you knew what he was talking about.) you knew this would be a topic between the two of you sooner or later, but you didn’t expect to have this conversation now, of all times.

however, if you were to answer yes, you did believe it. you did, you did, you did—you believed all of it.

despite your lack of response, childe continued on. "i guess you didn't. i mean, it's okay. i guess my confessions didn't really seem sincere to you which is understandable."

"childe." you called.

"i mean, who would actually believe a guy who randomly confesses in the middle of a conversation? and the fact that i did it countless times? god, why did i do that? i'm stupid, aren’t i?"

"childe."

"i'm sorry, i really should've been more sincere at least once—"

"childe!" he shuts up immediately.

before you could actually say anything else, childe spoke up again.

"i love you."

in the seven years that he has loved you, childe has never felt this impatient. he never felt this suffocated from all the feelings he kept for you this whole time.

he expected the silence you gave him again, but his chest felt lighter now that he managed to say those three words. although the silence stings and now there’s a tense atmosphere between you both, childe has never felt any better.

on the other hand, you were still processing it all. you were asking yourself again: who is childe to you? he’s your best friend, of course. you love him—

oh.

you love him. you love childe, and he loves you. but it was no ordinary love between friends; it was a love that was more than friends could ever share. and it all came crashing to you that, truly, a universe without childe by your side would be mundane.

"i love you too," you finally replied.

"take a chance with me?"

a small nod is all what childe needs as a sign to kiss you.

there’s really no one else in the world with whom you’d rather fall in love except for him.

#( writings )#astronetwrk #favoniuslibrary #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin imagines #childe x reader #childe fluff #childe #I HATE HOW I STARTED THE CONFESSION SCENE GOD #but idk how else to write it im so sorry #i didnt do my delusions any justice #i hate this post so much actually but here i am posting it anyways #i cant bring myself to delete it bc after a month i finally finished the draft like ?#im not letting my hard work be wasted by myself LOLLLL #pls do send some feedback pls pls pls i need to know how was the impact from others

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thejadearia · 2 months

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Speaking of Shimazaki, I learned a lot about myself this week making these terrible memes so I could drop them in the discord chat as I made my friends watch MP100. What I learned was, I have a terrible sense of humor (actually I already knew that, I just didn't realize it was this bad) and that the only thing I enjoy more than watching Shimazaki kick ass, is Shimazaki getting his ass kicked. (I'll have more of these for next week when we get to Serizawa's stuff! Sorry!)

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becca-alexa · 1 year

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Baby, It's Cold

Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader

Summary: You’re snowed in with no heat, so you suggest sharing body heat to keep from freezing - but how far will things go between you and Steve?

Word Count: 6.3K

Content Warnings: p in v sex, general smut, cursing, consensual touching

Author’s Note: feedback appreciated!! i don't have much experience writing stuff like this, and i figured practice makes perfect 💗

It was a miracle Robin had managed to snag the cabin - who in their right mind would ever rent out an entire villa in the woods to a bunch of twenty-somethings? It was unheard of, or so she claimed, because none of them could get her to shut up about how well she'd haggled for the place, how she'd bartered with the owner over coffee and used her mile-a-minute voice to confuse them into signing off on them staying the weekend.

The place was far, far outside of Hawkins, an urgently-welcome retreat for all of you after what had proved to be the most difficult year of your lives. Nancy, Robin, Jonathan, Argyle, Eddie, you and Steve - you'd all made plans to meet up and drive over together; Eddie had given his van a well-needed tune up specifically for this trip, so that it could handle everyone and everything in one go. But, as was quickly - annoyingly - becoming the norm with your group, your plans fell through… sort of.

"What do you mean, you're stuck in Indy?" Steve tried to keep his voice down as he balanced the payphone receiver against his ear, hands shoved into the pockets of his jean jacket as he braced himself against the cold. "Robbie, we've been planning this trip for weeks-"

"I know, I know!" Robin hurriedly replied; you tried not to giggle too loudly as Steve rolled his eyes. "But Nancy had this thing she needed to pick up, and Eddie had offered to drive us, then Jonathan and Argyle wanted to tag along-"

"What, so you didn't think to tell me about your little day trip?" Steve dragged a hand through his styled hair, shifted from one leg to the other, slapping a hand against his thigh in exasperation. Can you believe her?, he mouthed to you, biting back a grin when you shook your head.

"Just go with [Y/N]!" Robin insisted - and in retrospect, you'd realize she'd insisted a bit too intently, but you weren't thinking of that now.

What you were thinking of was how in Heaven's name were going to survive the entire three-hour drive up to the cabin, alone with Steve Harrington.

Your best friend, your bat-wielding protector, the sole object of your desires - Hell, he was the only crush you'd ever had, and even after so many years, your affections for the man still ran as deep as ever.

"Robin says they'll meet us at the cabin tomorrow." Steve asked, holding the phone away from his face as he turned toward you, head falling to the side, hair bouncing over his face. "That okay with you?"

"T-That's fine." You reply with a nod, staring at the lock that had fallen over his forehead, and you prayed he hadn't picked up on how your voice had cracked.

"You owe us, Robbie." Steve replied gruffly, but you knew there was no bite to his words. "Seriously this time."

"Sure, sure! Whatever!" Robin hurriedly replied; from where you were standing, you could barely make out what sounded like Argyle… shouting at someone? "Drive safe!"

"Rob-" The line went dead, loudly buzzing in his ear; Steve groaned as he all but slammed the receiver against the payphone, his brows furrowing as he began to lose himself in his thoughts. You took a step toward him, bridging the gap that'd been left between you; your fingers were soft as they brushed over his skin, trailing over the soft hair covering his forearm, pulling him out of his own head.

"Steve, it'll be fine." Your voice was quiet, and you hoped it'd calm him down - the last thing you needed was Steve driving up a rugged, unfamiliar mountain upset. "We'll try calling again when we get there, okay?"

He nodded, blinking at the warm smile you gave him - your smiles were always warm, always gentle, but every time he'd be graced with it, he'd remind himself not to get too excited.

You smiled at everyone like that, he'd convinced himself, desperate to believe it were true, that the look of pure sunshine on your face wasn't just for him - because how could it be?

It was, but that's another story.

You walked to his car, your pace picking up to a jog as the bitter cold sunk through your clothes. Steve beat you to it, holding the door open for you.

"Ever the gentleman, huh?" You teased, climbing into the seat and pulling the heavy thing shut behind you.

Had you hesitated just for a moment longer, you'd have caught how Steve burned at your words, how he'd licked his dry lips nervously as his mind froze up, hands trembling as they fisted at his sides.

You weren't the only one with a lingering crush.

Taking a steeling breath, he walked over to the driver's side, hands cupped over his mouth as he shut the door, working desperately to stave off the chill biting at his fingertips.

"Ready?" The car roared to life beneath his hands, the sound a welcome comfort ahead of your long journey; you cranked the heating up to the highest setting. Again, you smiled at him, fuzzy and soft; he smiled in return, and he pulled the car out of the gas station parking lot and onto the main road.

You'd been driving for hours.

"You find it yet?" asked Steve, glancing at you for what felt like the millionth time as you scanned the map creased and wrinkled atop your lap, your brows furrowed in concentration as you traced your finger over one of many wiggling lines.

"There should be a road up ahead on the left…" You mumbled in reply, flipping the map upside down, this way and that. Should you have brought a compass? "Maybe the right…? No, wait, definitely the left."

"You sure?" Steve asked hesitantly - he'd driven through more open country roads and empty spatterings of woods than he could remember; in the dark, he couldn't even tell he was driving uphill.

"You don't trust my cartography skills, Harrington?" Your lifted your brow, your tongue sticking out of the corner of your pressed lips. "Take the next left, then it should be at the end of the road."

"I trust you, but this baby's only got so much gas." You laughed at him, clear and pleasant, his smile widening at the sound of it. "Here?"

"Yeah, turn here."

The car jumped as it crossed off the main road and onto the dirt, leading up the side of whatever mountain you were on; Steve's hand flew out to hold you down before he could think to stop himself, and you clung to him as the jolting continued on, both of you only relaxing when the cabin finally came into view.

And, boy, was it a view.

"Robin got us this?" You exclaimed, gaping at the expansive cabin before you, eyes sparkling as Steve turned the interior light on. "This is amazing!"

"It's a cabin." Steve shrugged, and your head snapped to look at him - he sounded… unimpressed? "What? I think it's nice." You rolled your eyes at him and climbed out of the car; he followed closely behind, insisting he carry your bag, ignoring your protests against it altogether.

As though the outside of the cabin wasn't impressive enough, the inside was lavish enough that even Steve was taken by surprise. Two floors, six bedrooms, wall-to-wall log paneling, a massive fireplace across the main living room stocked to overflow with cut firewood.

"'S it still just nice?"

"It's really nice."

The both of you explored the space, running from room to room, gawking at the luxurious kitchen and the equally-massive wraparound deck leading out from it. And, having taken in your fill, the two of you begin making dinner - rather, Steve was making dinner and you were relegated to chopping and slicing duty, the conversation between you lighthearted and teasing.

Midway through your simple stir-fry dinner, seated in the kitchen, you were the first to notice the change in the weather.

"Steve," You nudged him, and he gave you a questioning look, stopping mid-chew to look at whatever you were pointing at. "It's snowing!"

"Huh." His brows furrow, his gaze dropping to nothing. "The weather report didn't mention snow."

"It shouldn't be too bad, right?" You tried to reassure him - and yourself, too - as you followed his train of thought. "They'll make it by tomorrow, for sure."

"Yeah, for sure…" Steve didn't sound too convinced, but you didn't push the conversation further. Seeing as how he'd made dinner, you volunteered to do the dishes. And, ever the good friend, he'd kept you company, even drying off and putting away whatever you'd finished washing.

"Steve, I said I was doing the dishes…" You huffed, pulling the damp towel slung over his shoulder and giving his chest a light-hearted swat.

"What, I'm not allowed to help?" He danced around you, snatching back the towel, and you swiveled around to reach him; he lifted the towel far above your head, well out of your reach, laughing as you tried to jump for it.

"Steve Harrington, give that back!"

"Just let me-"

Stricken mid-sentence, the lights flickered.

You froze - you both did, Steve's arm an instant vice as he held you against his chest. Neither of you spoke, neither breathed as you listened for the tell-tale sounds of danger, of an unholy nightmare resurrected. You buried your face into the solid safety of his chest, clinging to his shirt as his eyes scanned the room. Several painful, heavy minutes passed before you slowly began to feel him relax, his hold on you loosening ever so slightly.

"Let me go check the power…" he mumbled, his reluctance palpable as he left you alone, all but running down the hallway to where he'd remembered seeing a breaker box. Throwing it open, he flicked through every switch, yet the cabin remained shrouded in darkness.

Shutting the panel door, and rounding the corner back into the kitchen, he narrowly missed being hit across the eye by the empty vase you'd commandeered as a weapon.

"Whoa! Watch the face!" He jumped back, falling out of your swinging range. "The power's out. Snow must've knocked down a line or something." He explained, voice assured, and you sagged in relief at his words, hands visibly shaking as you set the vase back atop the counter. Without missing a beat, Steve stepped toward you, taking your hands in his own, enveloping them, his touch silently pleading you to look at him.

"Hey," His voice was buttery-soft, gentle in a way he only ever used with you. "There's nothing here. It's just us."

You shake your head, swallowing dryly, your head falling to your chest as you steadied the erratic beating of your heart. "Y-Yeah, you're right."

Steve nodded, calling forth every fiber of his being to let you go, to lose the warmth he'd found in your touch. Together, you'd made the most of things - you remembered seeing a box of candles in one of the closets, a pack of matches tucked away between them all, and in no time at all, the living room was bathed in the flickering, golden glow of over a dozen flames. You sat atop the supple leather couch, a blanket wrapped around your shoulders as you watched Steve light the logs in the fireplace.

You were cold, your hands tucked against you, the tips of your toes already feeling numb - and from the way Steve rubbed at his arms, he'd felt it, too.

"Should we… uh…" You tried to ask, your own embarrassment shriveling your words before you could get them out, hands shaking as you tugged anxiously at your fingers. "I-I mean, it's cold, and the fireplace-"

You gave him an exasperated look, but Steve - bless his athletic soul - wasn't following.

You groaned, dragging your hands through your hair as you blurted out, "We should sleep here."

"On the floor?"

"Yes, Steven, on the floor." You couldn't help but roll your eyes at his shock. "We can take a couple blankets and make a bed. It'll be warmer here than in the bedrooms."

Steve turned away from you, staring into the cackling fire. To you, he was considering what you'd said, his expression pensive, almost blank - to him, he was failing to quell his boiling panic at the thought of having to sleep with you… beside you? Whatever - either way, you would be much too close to him and he was not prepared. There were only so many rooms - and therefore only so many blankets - in the cabin, so he knew you wouldn't be able to make two separate beds.

He had to sleep with you.

"I-I mean, you're right…"

You gave him a confused look. "...But?"

Steve took a deep breath, turning back toward you, and he swore you could see the way his heart pounded in his throat. "No, nothing." He stood up, brushed off his jeans, tried for his best smile - which came through as more of a lopsided grin, but that's beside the point. "Let's get those blankets, huh?"

Between the two of you, you were proud of the bed you'd made, cozy under the pile of blankets and pillows; splitting for a minute, you both readied for bed, changing into your pajamas, brushing your teeth in the kitchen - Steve sensed your lingering unease at being in there, so he stood closer to you than he normally would, his hand finding the small of your back as the two of you walked back to the living room.

"Which side do you want?" You asked him, suddenly feeling shy at seeing him in nothing but a pair of loose sweatpants and an old Hawkins Phys-Ed shirt - and, unbeknownst to you, your clothes were having the same effect on him, your oversized shirt reaching your knees like an old nightgown.

"Doesn't matter." He pulled at the drawstring of his pants, suddenly intent on looking everywhere but at you. "I'll sleep like a rock, anyway."

You snorted a laugh and crawled into your side of the bed. "Yeah, and you'll keep me up all night with your snoring."

"I do not snore!" Steve exclaimed, and you laughed even harder at him, obviously having touched a sore spot. "I don't!"

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, Steve." He gave you a withering look, and you collapsed in a fit of giggles - nervous giggles, but he didn't need to know that. He shook his head at you as he crawled in under the blankets, close to you yet still keeping a respectable distance.

"Candles stay on?" He knew what your answer would be, but he asked anyway, his chest tight as you nodded.

"Unless it bothers you-"

"Doesn't bother me, sweetheart." He froze, his breath catching - he'd overstepped. Called you the wrong thing, gotten too comfortable. He waited for you to shake your head, to roll your eyes at him and turn around.

But, nothing came.

Steve watched, hands itching from the ferocity of his fraying nerves as you nodded, quieter than usual, curling up on your side as you continued to face him. He laid on his side, toward you, hands bunching the blanket up to his face as he tried to relax - not that he'd be getting much sleep around you, but he could pretend, for your sake.

Minutes pass, the soft sputtering of the candles a soft harmony to the loud, almost rhythmic cackling of the fireplace. Even in the muted light, you notice Steve trembling beneath the blankets.

He was cold.

"Steve?" you whispered, moving closer to him, the sudden drop in temperature making your stomach flip. "Steve, are you okay?"

"Hm…?" His eyes are slow to open, his voice much more tired than it had been mere moments ago; he'd curled up tighter - you just barely felt how his knees were tucked up to his chest. "What?"

"You're shivering." You continued to inch closer, your body all but touching his, and for the life of him, he couldn't remember how to move. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"I was fine before…" he grumbled, shaking his head, his jaw clenched to keep you from hearing his chattering teeth. "'M fine, just go back to sleep."

You gave him a hard-pressed look, gaze narrowed at the top of his lowered head; before you could convince yourself to do otherwise, you began to fumble about beneath the blankets. Steve cracked an eye open to watch, only to catch you flinging your shirt somewhere off to the side.

He swallowed audibly, his mind racing - and crashing - as he felt your arms envelope him, your chest pressed to his with only the thin barrier of his shirt between you.

"[Y/N], w-what are you-"

"Body heat." Your answer came quickly, much to his surprise, your hands leaving smoldering trails as you rubbed them over his back. "You need to stay warm, Steve."

He nodded, two thoughts about you dominating his mind:

You were much more selfless than you gave yourself credit for.

You weren't wearing much of anything under that shirt.

He tried to think of something to do, something to say, but the unfiltered heat radiating off of your skin was too enticing, too overwhelming. He tried getting closer to you, chasing your warmth, but something felt off; something was holding him back.

In a flash, he'd tossed his shirt aside, the aged fabric landing somewhere near yours.

"Steve-"

"Body heat, right?" God, he hoped he didn't sound too breathless. "We can keep each other warm."

You weren't about to fight that logic, were you?

He shuffled closer to you, arms settling loosely around your waist, the frigid feeling of his hands trailing over your bare skin sending a shiver through you. Between you, you'd moved your hands up - almost as a buffer, ridiculous as that seemed. But, now you were in a new predicament - your fingers wove through the matte of hair on his chest; you could feel each curl, each wisp as he breathed, your touch both featherlight and branding. His head fell to your shoulder, and his arms tightened over so slightly around you.

"How are you so hot…?" Steve asked; his head shot up, and you were given an excellent view of the blush spreading up his neck as he quickly amended, "Warm, I mean. Shit, I- You're really warm. N-Not that you're not hot-"

You giggled, the movement brushing your chest against his, pulling out a gasp from somewhere deep within him that he'd just barely managed to catch. "You're not half-bad yourself, Harrington." Feeling you relax, he tried to do the same, leaning further into you, the scent of your citrus shampoo lulling him into a pleasant sort of halfway-sleep.

"Uh… H-Hey, Steve…?" He could hear your voice, distant and somewhat muffled, and he grinned against the comfort of your shoulder. "Steve, are you awake?"

"Yeah…?" He peeled open his eyes, pulled away enough to look at you, confused for only a moment as he tried to follow the way your gaze flicked to the space between you - and when he did, he stopped breathing, his stomach dropping to his half-thawed toes as he sprang away from you, his scalding face clear in the candlelight, hands pressed tightly between his legs.

"Shit! I- Goddamnit, [Y/N], I didn't… I swear, I wasn't-"

You watched on, stunned silent as Steve worked himself into a whole-hearted frenzy, shaking as he desperately tried to explain away why he'd gotten hard sleeping with you.

"Was that… is it my fault?" You couldn't help yourself - here you were, sharing a bed with the man of your dreams, who'd gotten painfully aroused with you in his arms. Your words were barely above a whisper as you continued, "Are you like that because of me?"

Part of you wished you'd disappear, another thinking of what you had within arm's reach that could be used to tear your own tongue out because who in their right mind asks something like that? You stared at him, lip worried between your teeth, eyes catching the light like a million stars in the night; Steve realized he was at an impasse - you both were.

It was now or never.

"Yeah, I… I am."

Nothing could have prepared you for his answer; you felt as though the floor had collapsed beneath you, turned to quicksand and swallowed you into its grainy depths.

"Steve-"

"I like you, [Y/N]."

You couldn't help the gasp that tumbled past your lips, nor could you quell the sudden flood of tears swelling in your eyes. His words flew around in your head, dominated your thoughts, demanded every ounce of your attention.

I like you.

"[Y/N], don't… don't cry- Shit, I didn't…" He'd moved back to you the instant he'd caught the first tear, his arms wrapping back around you - he'd kept his hips turned away from you, the angle awkward, but you didn't notice. "C'mon, baby, I'm sorry-"

You shook your head, your breathing hiccupped, stuttered as you wiped at your dripping face. To his surprise, you'd laughed, the sound as wet and sodden as it was bubbling.

"Steve, I'm not… I'm not upset." You tried to tell him, reassure him, meeting his concerned gaze through glossy lashes.

"But, you're crying-"

You took his hand in both of yours, held it between your bodies like a tether between souls; he could feel your pulse through your palm, quick and solid and strong.

"[Y/N]-"

"I like you, too, Steve."

He barely believed what he'd heard - you liked him? You'd reciprocated his feelings? The crush he'd been achingly, lovingly nursing since high school was… mutual?

"Y-You… You do?" He hated how insecure he sounds, how hesitant and uncertain he was; you gave him another blinding smile, dropping your hands as you pressed your bare chest to his.

"I do." You thank the Heavens above that your voice hadn't wavered - he heard you clear as day, the fluttering he'd feel whenever he was near you now a full-on avalanche of jittery emotion. "I… uh… I have for a while now."

"Really?"

You nodded, hiding your face into a lump of bunched-up blanket.

"How long have you…?"

"You first." You insisted, your stomach in knots at his shy smile.

"Since freshman year, at least." Steve replied smoothly, his confidence returning in drips and splashes - it was better than nothing, he'd conceded. "Never thought you'd give me a chance, though."

"God, I've liked you since, like, fourth grade…" You'd groaned into the blanket, goosebumps running over your body as you caught his soft exhale.

"Seriously?" He couldn't believe it - you'd been hiding your feelings for him for almost a decade?

How had he not noticed?

You'd pulled your head up from the blanket pile just enough to look at him, and you both collapsed into a fit of nervous, giddy laughter, the little space left between your bodies shrinking away. Steve was the first to settle down, staring into the depths of your eyes with the look of a man drowning in his love; he brushed a lock of hair behind your ear as your legs tangled together, his rough and pleasantly scratchy against yours, and he waited for you to quiet down before asking,

"Is this alright?"

His hands were at your hips, his thumbs running over the thin elastic band of your underwear. So elated were you, you'd almost forgotten about his… situation.

Almost.

Calming yourself, you shifted, slowly pressed your body to his - your hips firm against him - as you nodded, cheeks pink as his rock-hard length throbbed against your stomach.

"[Y/N]?"

"Steve, I…" You couldn't bring yourself to ask for what you'd wanted - but, God, did you want to. Lord knows you did. Your head fell to his chest with a quiet groan of frustration, but he understood all the same.

"[Y/N], look at me."

You lost yourself in the endless depths of his eyes, your only thought to keep breathing as he reached for your hand.

"If you don't want to, tell me to stop."

He watched every flicker of emotion on your face, every expression, every feeling play out in vivid detail; he brought your hand - so small in his own - to the throbbing between his legs, his eyes fluttering shut as you wrapped your fingers around him, holding him through the soft material of his sweatpants.

"God, Steve…" You whispered, giving him an experimental squeeze, your body sweltering with heat as he moaned - it was quiet, just barely louder than an exhale, but you'd heard it all the same.

You had done that to him, brought him to this, and you ached for more.

"Take it off." Your tongue poked out to swipe at your lips; he swallowed at the movement, every nerve in his body alight, aflame at the feeling of your hand around him. "Please."

He didn't need to be asked twice.

In a single movement, Steve pulled off his pants, chucking them somewhere across the room; you gasped as you realized he wasn't wearing anything underneath, naked as the day he was born.

You looked at him, he nodded, and your hand was on him again.

God, Steve thought, his head pressed to your shoulder, breathing heavy as you began to stroke him, it's never been this good before. All you'd done was touch him, and he could already feel himself begin to unravel, his stomach coiling with his building release.

You stared down between you in open-mouthed awe, feeling the weight of him in your hand; he actually keened when you'd brought your other hand to cup him, pushing his hips into your grip, chasing more of your touch - of you.

"B-Baby…" He barely recognized his own voice from how weak he sounded, his hand shaking as he wrapped it over yours, stilling your movements. "Baby, please, I… I can't-"

Your hands flew off of him, raised up to your chest, a pang of fear seizing your chest at the thought of having hurt him. Were you moving too fast, your grip too tight? "Steve, I-"

"No! No, sweetheart, it's… It's not you, I swear." He pulled you close, buried his nose in your hair, his voice quiet with embarrassment as he continued, "If you keep doing that, this'll all be over way too fast."

You giggled at him, your smile broad and beaming as he moved away to look at you, going stiff in more ways than one as you brought his hand to your chest; he could feel the thrumming of your pulse beneath the softness, keeping pace with his own.

What, like you hadn't heard about his boobies monologue from Robin?

You felt his fingers twitch against you, desperate to squeeze, but he held himself back, restrained himself.

"I won't break, y'know."

God, you were going to kill him, he swore, shaking his head, a nervous grin stretching across his lips - and it was then that he paused, his hand stilling over you as the shameful realization dawned upon him.

He hadn't even kissed you yet.

Where's your game, Harrington?

He'd gone shy on you again, you noted, feeling how his breathing turned slow and deep. "Steve?" You brought your face closer to his, hands at his jaw, thumbs caressing his cheeks as you urged him to look at you. "Steve, do you-"

"Can I kiss you?"

Your silence stretched out for what, to him, felt like hours. Had he pushed you too far, assumed too much? Was kissing too personal for you? His first instinct was to backtrack, to make amends, and he hurriedly mumbled, "I-I mean, it's fine if you don't-"

"Do it, Steve."

Your words were clear, demanding in a way that made him shiver in anticipation. Slowly, carefully, he trailed his hands over the softness of your waist, pulling you flush against him, his length trapped between your thighs.

"You want me to kiss you?" He needed to hear it from you, needed you to say it, to know you wanted this just as much as he did.

"Please."

Of all the times you'd imagined kissing Steve, of daydreaming about what he'd feel like, nothing could compare to the real thing; you melted against him with a sigh, arms settling around his neck as you pulled him impossibly closer, every pore on your body screaming for this moment to go on, for him to kiss you like this forever.

And for Steve, kissing you was a miracle - he'd long since resigned himself to wanting you from afar, to watching you from the sidelines, content with the way things were. He didn't think he'd ever gather enough courage to confess his feelings to you, terrified of losing one of the closest friends he's ever had. But, now?

Now that he's tasted you, he's insatiable.

He was the one to deepen the kiss, to lean into you, press his body against you, throbbing between your thighs and hissing as his sensitive head caught on the fabric of your underwear. You pulled his hands back to your chest, his tongue tracing over your lip as you pulled off the lacy thing and tossed it aside.

Your kiss had started saccharine, gentle, coy, but it had devolved into something carnal, primal, fueled on by years of pining and longing and want.

"[Y/N], can I…? Can- touch you?" Steve panted, his words beginning to fail him, his hair already damp with sweat as it fell over his eyes. You pull one of his hands away from your chest, biting back a moan at the feeling of his calloused palm dragging over your nipple; you guided him between your legs, your breathing labored, eyes clenched shut.

When he touched you, you screamed.

Painstakingly, sobbingly slowly, he worked you open, his pride growing tenfold as he felt how wet you were, how slick his fingers were quickly becoming as they moved over you - and all because of him. He brushed his fingers lightly over your clit, his touch barely a touch at all, yet it drove you nearly to the brink of insanity.

"S-Steve…!" you cried, screamed, no longer caring about the volume of your voice as you ground your hips against his hand, fingers clawing at his back. "Mmm…! Fuck, Steve…!"

"Talk to me, sweetheart. How's it feelin'?" The closeness of his voice, of his lips pressed to your ear did absolutely nothing to veer you away from the edge of ecstasy you were barreling toward. You could feel him circle a finger around your dripping entrance, teasing you, your body writhing atop the blankets.

"S… Steve, please…!" You shook in his arms, your face buried against his chest as you begged him for more - and when he finally pressed his finger into you, you both moaned.

You were so hot, so tight, around his finger, sucking him in, your velvety walls pulsing against him - he could feel his cock weep as he imagined what it'd feel like to be inside of you.

"Hmm…! A-Ah- Shit, Steve, I…!" Your head began to swim, your breathing rough as he worked you, one hand holding you by the hip while the other thrust into you, his thumb pressing down on your throbbing clit all the while.

"Where you at, baby?" he panted, his focus breaking away from the sinful squelching coming from between your parted legs.

"'M close, Steve… Fuck, I- I'm so close…!" You threw your head back, your body arching off the floor as Steve's kept his pace steady, looking very much satisfied with himself as you fell apart in his hands; with a final, trembling moan, you collapsed, panting for air as the sweet thrill of aftershocks shot through you; absentmindedly, you could feel him slide in behind you, holding you against his chest, hands moving idly over your sex-warmed skin.

Still, even in the rose-colored haze of your mind, you knew you wanted more.

"[Y/N]?" Steve watched as you turned around in his arms, pulling him into a sloppy, wet kiss. It didn't take much for him to turn to putty in your hands, and he offered no resistance as you nudged him onto his back, legs straddling his hips. "Fuck, baby, I…" he breathed, eyes wide as his gaze moved over you in reverence - bathed in the candlelight, flushed from the bliss he'd given you, he swore you never looked so beautiful.

You moved your dripping core over his cock hesitantly - unlike Steve, you had no prior experience to draw from. Did it feel good when you pressed down on him? When you sped up? Slowed down? You stared at where your bodies connected, not realizing Steve's eyes had clenched shut, sweat beading down his brow as he tried to keep himself from losing it.

"Sweetheart, please, I…" Steve moaned, his hands leaving you to drag through his hair. "You're killin' me-"

"Yeah?" you panted, pushing more of your weight down onto him, your heart soaring at the litany of curses that fell from his lips - and even a few that weren't in English. "How's it feel, pretty boy?"

At the name, you felt him jump against you, and you swore on your mother's life you'd never seen him flush so red.

It was as though the very room had gone still, the snow outside ceasing to fall, your breath catching as you lifted yourself off of him; holding him in your hand, you lined him up with your entrance, your eyes shut as you tried to calm your nerves, but you paused at the feeling of hands running over your sides, gentle and soft against you.

Steve looked up at you, cheeks bursting with color as he held you steady, an unspoken question clear in his eyes.

Do you want it?

You nodded, your lips breaking into a smile as you kissed him - and all at once, you pushed yourself down, crying out at the feeling of him stretching you, filling you.

He was big, and you were loath to admit that the rumors you'd heard about him all throughout high school were true - he deserved to be called "King Steve".

You fell against him, shaking at the sudden intrusion as his hands soothed over your back, your waist, your thighs, your face, guiding you down onto him, whispering praises into your ear.

"You're doin' so well, baby. You're so good to me, taking me like that… Fuck-!"

You were struggling to breathe, face pressed against the crook of his neck as you waited for the pain to melt away - and Steve waited with you, peppering your face in kisses, his hands smoothing over your hair.

"Do you want to stop?" he asked, his voice softer than silk, his concern washing away the lingering traces of your discomfort. You shook your head, biting your lip as you pulled away from him, wiping at the moisture clinging to the corners of your eyes.

Steve felt his stomach drop. "[Y/N]-"

"I'm okay." you reassured him, your voice all but gone, eyes fluttering shut as you settled back against his hips - he'd buried himself completely into you, the feeling of you enveloping him almost too much. He waited for you, for your sign that it was alright to move - because once he started, he wasn't sure he'd be able to stop.

You accustomed yourself to the feeling of him inside of you, thick and hard and throbbing. "S-Steve…" you moaned, your hands steadying yourself against his chest. "You can… You can move-"

And you fell over when he snapped up into you, breaking out into fits of bright, sparkling laughter.

"[Y/N]!" Steve couldn't help but laugh, too, feeling your walls squeezing around him. "Baby, you alright?"

You nodded, still smiling as you threw your arms over your heated face.

"Keep going, Steve…" you sighed, peeking at him from between your fingers - and his heart swelled, leaning over to kiss you stupid as his hips pounded into you, one of his hands moving down to your clit, rubbing you in time with his thrusts.

He wasn't going to last - he knew he wasn't - but he'd be damned if you didn't finish before him.

Your mouth fell open with a wanton moan, hands fisting the blankets at your sides as he gripped your hips roughly enough to bruise, his pace already beginning to falter. He kissed you everywhere he could reach, covering you in his love, his breathing coming out in grunts as he felt himself nearing his end.

"Baby, I- I'm so fucking close-"

"Steve, I- Ahh…! I can't…! Steve, please, I'm…!"

And you reached your peaks together, screaming as you throbbed around him, as he painted you with his release, your bodies sticky as you collapsed onto the blankets, chests heaving for air as you floated back down from the Heavens.

He was the first to speak. "You still with me?" Steve asked, still winded as he rolled onto his side, his hand moving up to roll a lock of your hair between his fingers - you still smelled like citrus, like sunshine and light.

But now you smelled like him, too.

You turned your head to look at him, eyes lidded, your grin blissfully lopsided as you kissed him - gently, sweetly, relishing the feeling of his chapped lips, of the warmth of his breath over your face. "I'm still with you, Steve."

"Yeah?"

"Always."

He pulled you into his arms, his face pressed to your neck; you nudged yourself against him, exhaustion settling over you both like the falling snow.

Before you'd drifted away, you heard his voice, quiet and meek as he whispered, "I love you."

Your hands moved over his chest, and you kissed him one final time before falling into oblivion, your sigh of, "I love you, too." barely slipping past your parted lips, Steve chasing after you.

#becca.fic #steve harrington #steve harrington fic #steve harrington x fem!reader #steve x fem!reader #steve harrington smut #steve harrington x reader #steve x reader #stranger things smut #if any of you read my encanto fic you would know how disastrous my last attempt at writing smut was so i figured practice makes perfect #and i swear i'm still writing Ride the Lightning i just needed to get this off my chest #feedback appreciated <3 #also just imagine if you will robin and the gang arriving the next afternoon all aware of what likely went down #and when they find you two AWFULLY close they all know their little plan succeeded #the group has been trying to get the two of you together for years and figured this would be the best chance

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