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celestialtarot11 · 4 months

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Solar Return Observations ☀️✨

Hi friends! Today we’re discussing solar return notes + what I’ve observed from them. I’ve been observing for three years, but I’m not able to fit all of the details in one post. I can always make another 🦋 enjoy and feel free to like, comment and reblog.

Chiron in the 7th house 💌- Healing through partnership and connections. I’ve had this placement last year and went through a breakup which taught me a lot about self worth (Aries ruled 7th house SR) and I learned to stand up for myself. I learned to be my own best friend and start over after a loss. Everything in terms of my relationship and how I viewed it changed completely. It was a pretty long journey, being that Chiron is the wounded healer, I’d say about a year the cycles were going on. Anyone who has this placement in their SR chart, you can expect for healing to occur in your relationships. Not necessarily a breakup always, but definitely wounding will come up that year.

Neptune in the 6th house 🌷- Routines can be heavily centered around spirituality. Meditation, yoga, occult practices become a theme in the daily life. Incorporating this can help the native grow and develop a consistent routine, and eventually connect with a higher source of love (deity, religion, universe, etc) because Neptune is the higher octave of Venus. With Neptune here there’s an emphasis on romanticizing daily routine and self care. Certain day to day events can feel whimsical, ethereal, and fated even! The native may question that year their beliefs and want to start something new, or reignite spiritual passions ✨

Moon in the 4th house 🌙🌟- Romanticizing the past, viewing things from a nostalgic lenses, daydreaming about a family. The native may deal with family illusions around this time, manipulation, or themes surrounding the family this year. The native might find it difficult to balance their life as family is an important theme for the year, whether it’s their own, or biological. The mother could be significant this year, and the mother may try to build a close bond with the native. The past is viewed from a bittersweet lenses, as there’s an element of moving on but honoring the past for what it was.

Capricorn 4th house 🦋✨- Structure, evolution, and discipline is needed regarding the home. Things may be slow, sluggish, or even depressing in the house. Saturn slows things down and when Capricorn is in the 4th, it can point to restrictions, boundaries, and limits. The native will learn to have boundaries with the family that year, and the value of alone time. The necessity of independence, and rebuilding structure in terms of roots. New job, new ways of managing finances, moving homes even. The native may feel uncomfortable that year within their home, they could feel detached even more than usual, and may long for an actual home of their own. Their own independence apart from family. Family could be stricter that year, and family events may be limited.

Saturn in the 6th house 🤍🌹- Structure, routine, discipline through health. The native may develop a stable gym routine and eating habits that year, and their health will improve with dedication and practice! They may choose a better diet, and learn about proper nutrition that year, and take care of their digestive system especially. Even energetically, the native will find themselves not wanting to consume shows or channels that are stressful. The native is meant to build a stable routine with their health.

11th house stellium 🌷🥂- Emphasis on networking, friends and meeting new people. Lots of people will want to meet the native, and will try to talk to the native. It’s easier to meet people this year, and to form new connections. Even strangers will randomly strike up a conversation with the native. Potential for meeting a marriage partner or best friend is strong! Potential for growing famous online is also strong, you may start an online business or be online a lot more this year.

11th house sun ☀️✨- Finding others is how you come back to yourself. What kind of community will you center yourself around? This year the native will try to figure out what kinds of friends they want, and where they belong. Through others the native comes to themselves, and people will teach a lot to the native. Not necessarily handing out wisdom, but there will be situations in which the native has to choose their own community and their beliefs compared to what everyone else wants.

11th house Venus 🦋🤍- Having friends and community becomes important, and the native realizes the importance of it all this year. Lots of people may want to date and get to know the native, as the 11th house is public. The native will be seen a lot more by others, around the place and people may actually make comments about that (I’ve had that happen with this placement many times!) The native will find that somehow the people around them come the right time when they need help too. Almost as if they’re blessed 💘 The native learns a lot about detachment from others expectations, and opinion. It’s about finding what works for them not for others this year. Potential for dating online is strong! And meeting someone through a dating app or social media.

Mars in the 12th house 💗🌹- The natives abilities and effort may struggle to be seen and recognized. There’s a sense that the natives effort is hidden, and the native feels unseen. It’s important this year the native keeps their plans and goals hidden as there could be others who want to criticize negatively. Especially with virgo 12th house! People may expect perfection from the native this year, or the native will struggle with perfectionist tendencies, and eventually will be the self undoing (12th house) Perfectionism is the natives enemy this year, and the native will have to find ways to understand themselves and work on their tendencies. There’s a chance to end up injured or hurt this year, so be cautious. The zodiac sign in that house will tell you where. For example if you have Virgo 12th house, your stomach in some way could struggle this year or be injured.

North Node in the 8th house ☕️💌- Leaving behind the material realm for the spiritual. Native is involved heavily with healing, releasing, and esoteric practices. The native eventually finds balance towards the end of the year with the material realm, but will likely find 6-8 months of deep inner work. Boundaries regarding spirituality get muddled as the native explores their psyche, uncovering new experiences! Healing and transformation through the past, to be in the present. Certain relationships can fall apart as it’s not aligned with the natives growth. Jobs may change as the native adjusts to their needs.

Libra Ascendant 🥂💗- Focus is on beauty and seeing the world through a connective lenses. Connection everywhere, with nature, people, communities, spirituality, etc. the native will fill more in touch with their fair and balanced side. This year the native will focus on balance, and not doing too less or too much. The act of balancing means things will be out of balance, so this year the native will go through upheaval as well. They will learn about discipline and structure throughout these changes, and work on mending things that were out of place. Going back and rebuilding. Or starting new if needed. The natives peace is important, and the native could find a partner this year! Depending on the other SR placements. The native is looking for ways to be connected to whats around them and within them.

Pluto in the 7th house 🌟🌷- Transformative relationships and unhealthy dynamics can come up this year in the native. Power dynamics and upheaval of roots in connections. The natives relationships with others is changing tremendously, and likely they could attract someone healing as well, and the two can heal. But with pluto here it can get intense and chaotic, if the two aren’t consistent working on themselves. People from outside could try to get into the natives relationship, adding gossip. It’s important to stay private this year with relationships.

Venus in the 12th house ✨☀️- Some I knew actually met a soulmate that year, the potential for a deep bonding connection came up. It was long distance given the 12th house ruling distant lands. If Venus is in a water sign for that year, the connection is a psychic one and very intuitive. Her house had cancer over it, and she developed a close bond with someone. They did things for the first time she’d never done before like traveling to another place! Everything was kept private, as Venus fell in the 12th house. Although this happened, they both mirrored wounds and did inner work to sustain the connection, and had a connection that was incredibly intimate. So Venus in the 12th can bring up a romantic interest, a connection that will be profound in terms of inner healing. It can also mean the native will choose to heal and do inner work, and not have the desire to date that year. It can mean codependency is the natives undoing that year in their relationships.

Sun in the 1st house ☀️🥂- Focus is on the self, growing and improving the body. The native could go to the gym and explore new routines, or be athletic that year. Participating in a sport they enjoy. Their appearance will go through a massive change too, someone I knew impulsively cut their hair after drinking lmao. It was super long, and then they went short! The father could be in the natives life a lot more, whether thats through spending time and bonding, or being intrusive and invasive. The native will realize a lot in terms of their strength, depending on which zodiac sign falls in the sun. For example, if its Leo, the native will realize a lot of their determination; strength, resilience and their self esteem will improve.

Venus in the descendant or 7th house 🤍☕️- Dating someone! Or meeting someone who is a potential partner. Venus was in my 7th house for my SR when I got into long term relationships. Conj. NN will be an impactful relationship, NN is also associated with destruction in a way because it rebuilds, and what doesn’t work must leave, so that relationship I had was incredibly chaotic 😅 But for those who have Venus in the 7th house, you will potentially meet a long term partner that year. Check the zodiac sign and that’ll tell you how! Someone with Gemini Venus 7th house met someone online.

Venus in the 1st 🌟🌹- Appearance changes! A glow up will definitely happen that year, and ideals of your relationship will change a lot. What you expect, want, desire will go through changes. You may prefer healing therapy of some kind for the body, like massages, or yoga. Something to restore the body physically. You could absolutely be in the gym too!

Saturn in the 1st 🌙🦋- Having to be more structural and disciplined within yourself. Setting new routines and maturing personal boundaries. You may struggle with dissatisfaction and apathy this year, because you’re moving towards what fulfills you. Check the zodiac sign to see what will be maturing most within yourself that year. For example if its in Pisces, you’ll be maturing the part of you that has wishes, dreams, but has been passive in taking an approach to make them happen.

Venus in the 5th house🌙🥂- More fun and romance this year! The chance to get to know someone and friendship. However your approach to dating will differ depending on what zodiac sign falls in the 5th house. For example, if it’s in Capricorn, you’ll take on a reserved and detached approach to relationships. You’ll show up practical.

Capricorn Venus 🦋🤍- Material matters are important and you’ll likely pick up extra hours this year. Your approach to relationships are practical, refined and you have a long term focus. You don’t want anyone or anything unnecessary, as you know it’ll hinder you this year. There’s a need to mature when it comes to relationships and understanding how they work, because Capricorn is ruled by Saturn. There will be lessons on emotional intimacy this year!

Leo Venus 🥂🌟- This year there will be a focus on attracting the one potentially, and going big. Not playing small in relationships and attracting abundance. Loyalty is important, and the native wants a commitment within their friendships or romantic interests. The native steps into their worth and their value. By valuing themselves, they learn to realize their value in other peoples life. Lessons regarding self worth and value will come up, and the native will find themselves having to speak up for what they deserve in relationships!

Thats all I have ya’ll! I hope y’all enjoyed and please support this blog 💗🤗 it’s very much appreciated! If ya’ll would like I’d love to do more of this!

#devi post #astrology #astrology community #tarotcommunity #divination #tarot deck #tarot #witchcraft #tarot reading #astrology observations #astro posts #astrology notes #astro notes

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mykoreanlove · 4 months

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🫧🫧🫧

Dating a famous man definitely had its perks but most of the time it sucked. You had to be extremely cautious about privacy, you barely saw each other and had to share him with so many fans.

But those precious moments when you finally had him to yourself? Priceless.

The band was finally back and in dire need of relaxation, so you all ended up in the pool.

It didn’t take long for you to hop on your boyfriend‘s lap and make out passionately.

He was just as hungry for you. Big hands gliding all over your body while plush lips kept kissing every inch of you. „I’ve missed you so much, kitten. Why did you let me go away?“ Declarations of love mixed with kisses were your favorite. „Should I cuff you to the bed next time then?“ You kissed his smirk, adoring him even more. „I thought I’m the one in charge of cuffing?“ You placed your index finger on his lips, eagerly shushing him. „Be in control of sucking my face, will ya?“

Feisty, he liked that. „Gladly“, he obliged and stuck his tongue down your throat. Tongue, spit, water - all mixed together as you reignited the passion you felt for each other. The warm water heated your body nicely but nowhere as much as Minho‘s hands, especially when he put them on your ass, squeezing and pulling you closer to him. Automatically, your hips started to grind on him, welcoming his hard dick.

„Caution kitty, don’t start what you cannot finish“, he whispered into your ear.

„Min, baby, please. I need you. Fill me up“, you whined desperately. The biggest smirk was plastered on his face as he watched you squirm and beg for him.

„Guys please, can you do your sex begging thing later? You’re making me feel very single right now!“

Minho and you were so engulfed with each other, barely even noticing who was left with you in that pool.

Minho rolled his eyes before inspiration struck him, leaving a meticulous smile on his lips once again.

He nodded to you, motioning you to move over there. Reluctantly, you moved away and sat opposite of him.

„Sorry Hyunjin, I won’t touch her. I promise.“

Minho noticed the sad expression on your face and soothed you quickly. „I didn’t say I wouldn’t make you cum, kitty.“

You looked at him puzzled, not understanding what he meant. Minho pressed a couple of buttons in the pool which made it active with forming bubbles everywhere.

Feeling the small bubbles on your arms was nice but what really set you off was the gland underneath you, right in between your legs.

„Fuck“, you mumbled under your breath.

„That’s right, Kitty. Enjoy being fucked by the water stream while I lean back and watch.“

You threw your head back, pleasure taking over. The water pressure hit your aroused clit, making you squirm even though you were still wearing a string.

Minho could always read your mind, his soul was just as dirty as yours.

„Push them aside, baby“, your boyfriend commanded.

Your fingers found the hem of the cloth and slid it to the side, letting the water shoot right at your pink cherry.

Loud moans filled the area, you were too excited to shush yourself.

Hyunjin gulped, he had never heard, nor seen you like this. He felt himself getting hard - how the fuck was he not supposed to?

Minho leaned back and enjoyed the show: you, being a melting mess and Hyunjin, being conflicted about what to do.

„Take them off, Kitty“, Minho‘s voice echoed in your ears. You quickly did as he said, repositioning yourself on your stream of pleasure.

„Min“, you cautiously asked, „can I touch my boobs?“

Hyunjin gasped, his eyes as big as the moon. Were you really stripping everything off? With him being in the pool?

„Sure“, Minho nodded. „Hyunjin, go help her.“

Hyunjin turned around and faced Minho, equally shocked and confused.

„What?“

Minho‘s hand motioned him to go over to you. „You heard me.“

Reluctantly, Hyunjin got up and sat behind you, adding to the heat you were already feeling. You felt his hard cock on the small of your back as he freed your tits from the remaining cloth.

The cold air felt refreshing, hardening your nipples even more.

You grabbed both of his hands and placed them on your tits, squeezing in unison. As his slender fingers pinched your buds, you felt his cock twitching in anticipation.

„Hmmm“, you sighed loudly. „More, baby, more.“

Your hips started rocking harder, going up and down as if the stream of water was your beloved boyfriend‘s cock.

Minho was having the time of his life watching both of you like that, whereas Hyunjin fought for his dear life.

Was this wrong? How could he do that to you? His train of thought got interrupted as he heard you seductively moan again, forgetting everything else instantly.

Unknowingly, he placed chest kisses on your neck, his fingers still squeezing your perky tits.

Minho realized that Hyunjin felt more comfortable, so he took his game to the next level.

„Kitty, look how sloppy you‘re riding that stream. You need help?“

You nodded your head, unable to form a clear sentence anymore. All you cared about was your release and right now, fucking a water stream was the best you could do.

„Hyunjin, help her.“

His hands left your tits and landed on your hips, holding you tight and helping you with your steady motion - up and down, up and down. His grip was firm, he would definitely bruise you.

Your head fell back on his shoulder as you were close, your clit pulsating with desire. Hyunjin’s wet hair tickled your cheek and you swiftly imagined the way it would tickle having him between your thighs.

Your cheeks reddened. You haven’t thought of fucking one of his friends before but having both of them now seemed so exciting. The pleasure got more intense, clouding your head with desire.

You muttered words, barely making any sense. All you needed was a release.

Minho knew exactly how to play you, his not so innocent sex kitten.

He got up and came over to you. As he took your flushed face into his hands and kissed you passionately you fell apart - your orgasm shook you to your core, almost unbearable.

You breathed heavily as you came back from your high, only then noticing how Hyunjin held you with a giant smile on his face.

Minho chuckled and grabbed some towels. „Guess you both came, huh?“

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argisthebulwark · 10 months

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'I'd Kill For You' vs 'I'd Die For You'

summary: who would fight and who would lay down their life in place of yours? gn reader, no pronouns or y/n used. feat: Brynjolf, Farkas, Cicero, Rune, Mercer, Miraak, Teldryn, Erik warnings: canon typical non-graphic blood/injury/death

Brynjolf would die for you. He can’t bring himself to take a life - Gallus never mixed words when teaching Brynjolf that lesson. But he would gladly die in your place. He begs you to leave him and save yourself, to get as far away as you can before Mercer’s Frenzy spell. His knuckles are white as he struggles to keep the blade pointed away from you despite the magicka taking hold of his mind. "Please, you have to get away. Let me handle this traitor. If there is love for me in your heart then you need to run and not look back."

Farkas would kill for you. He would lay waste to an entire camp if you asked. Silver Hand or run of the mill bandits it makes no difference to Farkas - he’d cut down anyone threatening your life. "You're not getting away from me that easy. I'm not burying you 'til I drink you under the table one more time."

Cicero would kill for you in a heartbeat. He’s been waiting. Please ask him to kill for you. Daggers are in hand awaiting your word. He’s already mapping out the order in which he’ll take down anyone who looks at you wrong. You are his Listener, after all. It is his duty to keep you safe from harm. "Loyal Cicero strikes at your command, dearest Listener. Just say the word."

Rune would die for you without thinking. He’d jump in front of the killing blow meant for you. He would let you cry into his armor, would wipe your tears when you demand to know why he would do such a thing. He would tell you that you still have so much work to do, the rest of the Guild relies on you too much to let you die. "The rest of them, they need you. Go on and make me proud, yeah?"

Mercer would begrudgingly kill for you. He’d try to spin it so you don’t think it has anything to do with you but there’s no mistaking it - he saved you. He’d grumble something about you being more useful alive than dead but you both know. Even if he refuses to admit it he’d kill almost anyone to keep you safe. "Don't let it go to your head. The moment you stop bein' useful I'm tossing you back to the wolves."

Miraak would only die for you. When it comes down to it, when his sole hope for survival is ending your life he can’t bring himself to do it. He lets you kill him because he knows what you mean to the rest of the world. He’s realized that even if his life stretched on for another millennia it would be worthless without you. "I cannot face it without you, Mal Dov. I have wasted enough lifetimes to mourn the one I might have lived with you."

Teldryn would kill for you. The moment he spots you in trouble, surrounded on all sides and outnumbered by bandits all the memories would come flooding back. The grief of losing a close friend and patron. He couldn’t lose you. He’d rush in without a thought, fending off swords and arrows at your side. "Can't have you dying and ruining my fine reputation. I am Morrowind's finest bladesman, you're not dying on my watch."

Erik would die for you. He’d do anything for you. After all you’ve done for him - reigniting his dreams of becoming an adventurer, helping him escape the family farm, seeing the world at his side, he will not allow you to die. Laying in your arms he reminds you that he’s loved every moment spent in your company. "I wanted to grow old with you. I wanted to see everything with you."

#skyrim #writing #x reader #brynjolf #farkas #cicero #rune skyrim #mercer frey #miraak #teldryn sero #erik the slayer #x reader fanfic #skyrim x reader

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b1rds3ye · 7 months

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My Heart Burns For You

Rodolfo is still by your side and ready to fight for Las Almas, but after a near-death encounter he realises he can't stay silent about how he feels for you.

Pairing: Rodolfo “Rudy” Parra x GN!Reader

Genre: Fluff, Canon-Compliant (Straight after Borderline), Confessions, Friends to Lovers, Italicised sentences are characters talking in Spanish

Word Count: 2.3k

For Fall4Rudy by @glitterypirateduck

Prompts: “I can't get you out of my head” (6), “Say it again” (16)

Warning: Graphic descriptions of injuries, talks of death

A/N: In the campaign Rudy almost dies in a fire, bleeding after a gun to the face then the next day he’s just vibing. I get that the military is fast paced but DAMN- (Also YES I GOT TO CONTRIBUTE TO FALL4RUDY I WAS SO SCARED WITH ASSIGNMENTS I WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO SKDJFALKSDS)

It was the early hours of the new day. The Vaqueros are vigilant all day, all night, even on their own base, meaning you were pacing back and forth on watch duty. You volunteered this time, with your fellow Vaqueros not arguing with a knowing smile. It seems everyone but the sergeant major himself has become aware of how close you had become, or aware of how you swoon whenever he spoke to you, or offered that little extra bit of care. Combined with what was one of the highest stakes missions to date, you couldn’t help the need to see Rodolfo the instant he and Alejandro got back from the Mexican border…

… if they get back.

You tutted at yourself before turning your head back to the horizon, grip tightening on your rifle. They will be back and you will be the first to see them, you wouldn’t have it any other way. Like cowboys you will see them on the horizon, riding in front of the burning glory of the sun. With a successful mission they will bring the new day and reignite the passion and hope that the Vaqueros so desperately need.

There’s a distant but familiar growl of a cargo truck, and you immediately take cover, gun at the ready as you look down its sights as you try and get a visual of the vehicle. Right on cue, you hear the familiar cackle of Alejandro’s voice through your comms.

“Guns down, friendlies returning to base.”

You smile as you loosen your posture, standing back up again. But simmering under your joy is the thought that they’ve returned home a little too early.

“I’m taking it’s a successful mission, Colonel?”

“Sergeant.”

The line is silent for a few moments.

“That’s a negative.”

It is meant to be morning and yet the sky is looking ever darker. The stars do little to illuminate your darkening expression. Your swallow is thicker than the tar that shapes the tattered roads beneath you, scorched after years of neglect under Las Almas’ heat.

“Where’s Rodolfo?”

You try to ask as nonchalantly as possible. To hide the fact you’re demanding an answer like a kid to your direct superior.

“I’m here.”

The tension in your shoulders was relieved at that voice. You would rather see him, rather have him tell you as he stood beside you. Ideally his voice wouldn’t sound strained, fatigue bleeding through the speakers into your own weary mind, painfully reminding you that you’ve essentially pulled an all nighter to catch a glimpse of him before you hit the hay.

“I had to come back to you.”

You chew your lips as the static cuts off. Before you can think any further at Rodolfo’s odd choice of words the truck pulls up to you as you stand by the entrance of the base. You squint even as the full-beam headlights turn off, the glare stubbornly clouding your vision. The slam of a car door has you tilting your head to Alejandro as he exits the truck. His smile is genuine but strained.

He was in the driver’s seat. And if Rudy was around, Alejandro never drove.

The colonel seemed to be reading your mind.

“Rudy is being rather honest right now, I needed to give him some adrenaline.”

On the other side of the truck, Rodolfo’s silhouette eventually comes back into view. His head had lulled forward, footsteps pounding against the sandy grounds of Las Almas. They were determined but not nearly as clean as his usual gait, pebbles audibly grinding against his boots. Only when he emerged from the shadows of the truck did you realise why Alejandro needed to give him a boost.

“Rudy…”

Rodolfo is silent, only marching ever closer to you. His visage is nothing short of horrific, blood both fresh and dry painting a terrifying collage on the upper half of his face. He must have tried to wipe the blood off, finger-sized smears across his countenance that haphazardly spread onto the wrists of his hoodie did little to relieve you.

“Rodolfo? Friend, you must get patched up-” Alejandro muttered after the sergeant major. Upon realising Rodolfo was beelining straight to you, Alejandro only gave you a firm nod with a knowing look. “Sergeant, patch him up.”

But Rodolfo had already reached you, hand held ever so lightly around your bicep like the gentlest but encouraging breeze to follow him into base. You can’t bring yourself to resist, not even trying to slow down his brisk walk and instead look over your shoulder to address Alejandro.

“Roger that, Colonel!”

Alejandro only waves you off dismissively with an amused expression between a smile and a grimace as Rodolfo paced double time into the building with you in tow.

“Rodolfo?”

“I need to tell you something.”

He leaves it at that and the damning baritone that ends his sentence leaves you unable to even dare to say anything else. Instead you can only take him in apprehensively as he leads you down the familiar hallways towards your quarters. When you expected the familiar indoor smell of your second home to wash over, instead it was dominated by the pungent odour of something charred. Bitterly mixed with smoke and gasoline, you dreaded the image conjuring up in your mind as you notice a hole in Rodolfo’s jacket, loose threads singed off in a cruel finish.

When you reach your room, you take the lead, pulling Rodolfo down to sit on your bed. It’s only then does his hand tighten, fingers attempting to clamp around your bicep but it only closes around air. You head straight to your first aid kit, and then to retrieve a towel that you dampen with water. He watches you all the while.

Rodolfo parts his knees, letting you stand between his thighs. With one hand you take his chin, the other giving light dabs across his face. You can’t help but grimace as you notice the towel dirty with red, but Rodolfo doesn’t seem all too bothered with his own injuries, the weight of his head on your hand getting heavier as he gets comfortable.

“What on earth happened so suddenly that you need to tell me now?” You chastise lightly. “I’m sure it can wait tomorrow, you need to rest-”

“No, we failed,” Rodolfo grumbles. His syllables were a little slurred, no doubt to the adrenaline running off but his eyebrows were adorably furrowed as he tried to maintain concentration. “We will head out in the morning to find Hassan, I need-”

“To rest,” you argue. Your ministrations cleaned up the main mask of his face, and now you could get a good look at him without being concerned that he was going to kick the bucket in a few minutes. You give him a frown before you continue to dab at his temples and the blood that got stuck in the roots of his hair, Rodolfo offering the odd hum of contentment all the while. “We can handle it tomorrow, if we’ll be fighting like you said, we’ll need to concentrate-”

“I love you.”

Your hand stilled. You instinctively wanted to argue that he must’ve had too much adrenaline but he is looking as serious and sober as ever.

“You tell me I’ll need to concentrate but I can’t get you out of my head.”

He reached up to take your hand that’s at his temple, despite the thickness of his fingers he nimbly moves them to thread in between yours. You do not doubt that the man standing before you is Rodolfo, but something was different. He was changed. The fire in his eyes held a different light, more sombre, a tinge of desperation. He was distracted, or instead, he was too focused on a singular goal that he disregarded everything else like a moth to a flame. He still wore his dirtied gear upon sheets that you’ll likely have to wash later.

“What happened tonight?” You whisper tentatively. In truth, you weren’t sure if you wanted to know the answer.

“I almost died.”

In any other situation you would have laughed. Of course he almost died, you two almost die every day. It comes with the territory of being a Vaqueros.

But the both of you know that.

“In the cartel safehouse, alone,” Rodolfo murmurs. “I saw Hassan, he talked to me. They set the house aflame but I was concussed, I couldn’t move no matter how much I wanted to.”

He looks away briefly and you offer his hand a gentle squeeze of encouragement. He leans forward, getting closer to you until his tactical vest clacks against yours.

“Alejandro saved me,” he admits. “But before he did… I thought I was done.”

For a second, Rodolfo is back in the safehouse, his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallows a cough.

“I swear I was burning in the flames of hell already, it was suffocating. In those moments when I had no choice but to lie and wait, I could only think of one thing. They say that your life flashes before your eyes but that did not happen to me.”

And then it was Rodolfo’s turn to tighten the grip on your hand, expecting you to slip away through his fingers like smoke.

“I could only think about you.”

Rodolfo drags your hands down to his cheek. Pulling his hand away briefly to then manipulate yours to cup his face. He leans into it and you indulge, gently stroking the plushness of his cheek with your thumb. With his face close up to yours, you now notice the faintest stray smears of soot against his skin and you try to wipe them away even as it gets your own hands dirty in the process. His face is flushed, skin warm to the touch like the final embers of a campfire.

“The only regret on my mind - that you never knew how I felt about you. I know the lives we’ve chosen are dangerous, but you were always my respite. I accept it is fair that I will die out on the field as a Vaquero but when I was burning in that safehouse I could only think how it was unfair to you.”

His eyes had slowly closed as he nuzzled deeper into your palm.

“It was unfair to you if I never got to show you my gratitude or repay you. It was unfair if I didn’t get the chance to at least try to give you the comfort you have given me.”

You could barely hear him over your pounding heart. Rodolfo resigns himself, slowly lifting his head from your hand. He doesn’t look particularly sad, only accepting, looking as resolute as ever.

“You don’t have to feel the same, but you deserve to know. Coronel may fight for Las Almas, but I realise now I am fighting for you. Regardless of how you feel, I always will be.”

With no words able to capture how you feel, you can only push forward, pressing your lips against his. Rodolfo was more than happy to accept, his hand already slipping to the back of your head, pushing you impossibly closer to him. Any closer and there will be teeth clacking and even then it would not feel close enough. Your military gear only feels like a hinderance, as it creates an uncomfortable pressure against your chest that you push through just to get a taste of him. His groan is swallowed up by you and reverberates through your entire being. Pressing up against him, the bitter fumes of toxic flames that surrounded him were distant, managing to instead get the whiff of his cologne; the smell of comfort after quiet nights spent huddled together in base. His other arm cradles the curve of your back, the firmness of his bicep nudging you forward until your abdomen is against his.

And with a single kiss you pour all of the emotion you can. For all the days spent pining helplessly at his natural kindness. For all the times he refuses to let you do a mission alone, to the hushed, panic whispers of reassurance when you’re bleeding out on the field. To let him know he’s already paid in kind if not more. That every time you reload your rifle and step onto cartel territory, ready to sign your life away, that you had been fighting for him all the same.

When you pull away, Rodolfo does not let you move any further than you have to to regain your breath. He rests his forehead against yours, heaving breaths intermingling. His hands have crept up to your neck, thumbs rubbing soothing circles against your skin. No doubt his fingers have accidentally dirtied your face with the soot and dirt from the mission, but you will gladly adorn the markings as a sign that you are his.

“I love you too,” you say breathlessly and he instinctively lets out a content sigh.

“Dios mío, please, say it again.”

“I love you, Rodolfo Parra,” you reply and he offers a smile worthy to be put in a museum.

It takes a few testing tugs until Rodolfo allows you to finally part from him, not after you distract him with a quick peck on the lips. You gingerly pick up the towel that had been forgotten on the floor, setting it aside and now opening up the first aid kit beside you.

“Now that I’m your lover I can order you around, hm?” You tease and you giggle with how his smile turns shy upon referring to yourself as his partner. “I’m going to patch you up, we’ll wash up, and then you’re going to rest.”

“How cruel,” he replies fondly. “But I guess whatever mi vida says must go, yes?”

Call of Duty Masterlist Check Out the Rest of Fall4Rudy Here!!

#FALL4RUDY #rudy x reader #rodolfo x reader #call of duty x reader #rodolfo parra x reader #cod x reader #rodolfo rudy parra x reader #rodolfo parra #rodolfo cod #/*avery actually writes*/

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earthtoharlow · 6 days

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Don’t Like The Lights

Sequel to Flashing Lights series, must read Flashing Lights first to understand.

Series Masterlist

1. Jungle

Don't know where we stand, I used to hit you 'bout everything. Are we still good? Are we still good?

Maryse let out a nervous sigh as she fluffed her hair in the mirror. The air was thick with anticipation and slight nostalgia. Tonight was the Grammys and she was nominated for Best R&B Song and Best R&B Album, to say she was nervous was an understatement.

Tonight also marked the anniversary of the day Jack and her met for the first time…or rather the anniversary of when he saved her from falling on her face in front of everyone. Maryse couldn’t help but still long for Jack, who was and will probably always be her greatest muse.

She hadn’t heard or seen Jack since the night he left her house. He had even been silent on social media so she couldn’t even stalk him if she wanted to. Maryse’s thoughts were cut short when her manager, CoCo, spoke up from the door behind her.

“You ready? The car is outside.”

Maryse looked at herself in the mirror one more time, and noticed the missing spark from her eyes. She closed her eyes and made another silent promise to herself that she would one day reignite that spark, to find happiness and fulfillment once more, whether with Jack or on her own.

“Yeah, I’m ready.”

***

Jack strode confidently down the red carpet with PG. Despite the flurry of activity around him, he remained focused on the task at hand, his mind consumed with thoughts of the upcoming awards ceremony.

His stride came to a halt when an interviewer called out to him, their words causing him to pause in his tracks. “Hey, Jack, did you hear? Maryse mentioned she’s rooting for you to win tonight,” the interviewer exclaimed, a hint of excitement evident in their voice.

Jack’s initial stoic demeanor softened at his words, a flicker of surprise crossing his features before being replaced by a subtle warmth. Turning towards the interviewer, he offered a grateful nod, his gratitude evident in his face.

“Really? That means a lot,” he replied, his voice tinged with a mix of appreciation and sincerity. Despite the way they ended, Jack couldn’t deny the swell of pride that washed over him at the knowledge that Maryse still held him in such high regard. “I’m rooting for her as well.”

As Jack made his way inside, his thoughts drifted back to a year ago when he crossed paths with Maryse for the first time. The memory of them first locking eyes as he helped her up the stairs to get her award tugged at his heartstrings and their history started to weigh heavy on his shoulders as he saw the very stages he climbed to “save her.”

Glancing around the venue from his seat, he immediately noticed the familiar silhouette of Maryse, he couldn’t miss those curls even if he wanted to. In that moment, he silently wished she would turn her head and meet his gaze. Jack was sure he would always yearn for her.

He didn’t realize how hard it was going to be seeing Maryse again. For months he wanted to reach out but he didn’t want to reopen old wounds. Jack’s gaze remained on Maryse as he watched her mingle with the celebrities at her table, her laughter could be heard from across the room.

He couldn’t shake the feeling of insecurity creeping into his thoughts as he watched her. Was Maryse feeling the same way he did, he wondered, her demeanor showed no hint of being as heartbroken as he was. Did she realize what today meant? Jack continued these thoughts as the award show started, but as he watched Maryse, the distance between them seemed to stretch further, and it drove him crazy.

***

Maryse's heart pounded in her chest as the announcer listed off the nominees for Best R&B Album. She gave a nervous smile to the camera when her name and album was mentioned. She closed her eyes, and grabbed a hold of CoCo’s hand who squeezed it in support.

“And the Grammy goes to…”-Ugh, Those Feelings Again, Maryse Monet!”

Maryse gasped in her seat, eyes wide with tears of joy streaming down her face. She stood up and gave CoCo a hug and thanked her in her ear. As she was making her way up the aisle, Doja stopped her and quickly pulled her into a tight embrace, and congratulated her.

She made sure to take the steps one foot at a time so that she didn’t have a repeat of last year. With a wistful smile, Maryse spoke into the microphone, her voice carrying across the hushed auditorium. “You know, I was a little worried I might trip on my way up here again,” she quipped, drawing a chuckle from the audience. “But thankfully, I made it in one piece this time!”

As the laughter subsided, Maryse took a deep breath, her eyes shimmering with emotion. “But in all seriousness, I want to express my deepest gratitude to everyone who has been a part of this incredible journey,” she continued, her voice tinged with sincerity. “From the amazing team who worked tirelessly behind the scenes to make this album a reality, to the fans who have supported me every step of the way – this Grammy belongs to all of you.”

Maryse took a pause, and her eyes shifted towards Jack in the crowd. “And to the person who has been my biggest inspiration and my greatest supporter,” she said, her voice catching slightly. “Thank you for believing in me, for pushing me to be the best version of myself, and for sharing your incredible talent and creativity with me. This album would not have been possible without you, and I am forever grateful for the love and the music we have shared.”

With that, Maryse raised the Grammy high above her head. Her heart was overflowing with love and joy. She knew that no matter what the future held, Jack was always going to be her muse.

As Maryse delivered her speech, Jack's eyes fixed her with a mix of pride, love and disbelief. As he watched her bask in the spotlight, her talent and dedication recognized by the industry, any lingering feelings of envy or regret faded into the background.

When she mentioned her muse his heart skipped a beat, and a lump formed in his throat. Despite not saying his name, he knew, deep down, that she was referring to him.

In that moment, Jack realized that Maryse’s victory was their victory, her success brought him a sense of fulfillment and validation that surpassed any accolades or awards he could have received himself.

Tears welled up in Jack’s eyes as he listened to her words, overcome by the unexpectedness of her acknowledgment and the flood of emotions it stirred within him.

Even though he had braced himself for the evening, he didn’t expect the intensity of his feelings upon hearing her speech. As Maryse left the stage he knew in the back of his mind that they would get back together again sooner rather than later. He would make sure of it.

LIFEOFMONET

liked by urbanwyatt, chloebailey, druski, choycebrown, torikelly, jackharlow, saweetie, dojacat and 678,086 others

lifeofmonet: Big hair, two toned lips, and my fav glasses…I was looking real cute before my tears ruined my makeup!

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user: omg that dress!!

user: CONGRATULATIONS!!!

user: anyone catch how she thanked Jack?

saweetie: so proud of you ❤️

urbanwyatt: 🔥🔥🔥🔥

***

Maryse got comfortable in her bed and pulled out her headphones. She was busy all day in the studio when she caught news that Jack had surprise dropped an album. She couldn’t help but notice how buff he looked on the cover, Maryse had to shake her head at the thoughts that popped up in her head before pressing play on the album.

She closed her eyes as the beats filled the room, she loved how honest he got with each track. Maryse couldn’t help but feel guilt when Denver started playing, wishing she had known the depth of how he was feeling at the time. She was sure that the added weight of her hesitation to move in with him added to the stress he was already facing.

Perhaps if she had opened up sooner, they could have faced those challenges together, instead of allowing her doubts to drive them apart. Regret washed over her as Maryse realized the impact of her actions, and she vowed to learn from her mistakes. These past few months apart helped her realize that she needed to be more open, more honest, and more willing to confront her fears, not just for her own sake, but for the sake of her love for Jack.

***

Maryse rushed through the lobby of the recording studio in Kentucky, she was there to record a song with Bryson and because of traffic she was running late. Having never been to that particular studio before Maryse hurriedly asked the person at the front desk where his studio room was located, as she waited for the front desk to look it up, she heard a familiar laugh. Maryse turned to her left and there stood Jack engrossed in conversation with Urban and Bryson.

She hesitated for a moment, unsure of what to do. Just as she considered slipping back out unnoticed, their eyes met, and time seemed to freeze for a heartbeat. Jack’s expression mirrored her surprise, his eyes widening, before a flicker of something else passed through them.

Maryse walked towards the group, giving Bryson and Urban a hug first. “Hey,” Maryse finally said, breaking the silence as she offered Jack a small smile.

Jack returned the smile, his features softening. “Hey,” he replied, his voice warm but with a hint of hesitation.

The air began to fill with awkwardness as they stared at each other.

“Hey, Urb can you come help me with that thing?” Bryson said, turning towards Urban. “What thing?” Urban asked him, confused.

Bryson punched Urban in the arm and gave him a pointed look. “That thing that just suddenly came up. So come on!” and dragged Urban away but not before telling Maryse that he’d see her in the studio.

Jack stood there with a sigh and his checks turned red slightly from embarrassment. All Maryse could do was smile.

“Sorry about them.” Jack apologized running a hand through her messy curls, Maryse couldn’t help but notice he was letting it grow out, a bit unkempt compared to how she remembered.

“You’ve let your curls run wild,” Maryse remarked with a gentle smile, her tone teasing yet filled with fondness.

Jack chuckled softly, a hint of sheepishness in his expression. “Yeah, I've been too caught up with everything to keep up with them,” he admitted, running another hand through his tousled hair.

The familiarity of their banter brought a sense of comfort to the both of them. Happy that despite the time apart some things remained unchanged between them.

With a bittersweet smile, Jack stepped closer to her. “Congratulations on the Grammy, by the way.” he said, his voice genuine. “You deserve it.”

Maryse returned the smile, feeling a sense of warmth wash over her despite the lingering tension between them. “Thank you,” she replied softly. “And congrats on your album too. I listened to it, and… it’s really good.”

There was a flicker of gratitude in his eyes as he nodded. “Thanks,” he murmured, a hint of emotion in his voice. “Means a lot coming from you.”

It became quiet again before Maryse spoke up. “I wouldn’t have come to the studio if I knew you were going to be here,” Maryse confessed, her tone filled with uncertainty.

“Why not?” Jack questioned, his gaze searching hers.

“Because I didn’t know if you would want to see me,” she admitted softly, her words heavy with the weight of their past.

“There’s not a day that goes by where I don’t want to see you,” Jack confessed, his voice vulnerable yet sincere.

Tears welled up in Maryse's eyes as she heard his words, a mix of sadness and longing washing over her.

Maryse nods and starts walking backwards, “Well, I’m going to go. I don’t want to keep Bryson waiting any longer.” She turns around and quickly walks down the long hallway, she had no idea where she was going but she needed to escape. Just as she was about to disappear from view, she heard Jack calling out her name. Her heart skipped a beat, and she hesitated for a moment before slowly turning around to face him.

Jack stood there, looking at her with hope in his eyes. “Hey,” he said softly, almost as if he still couldn’t believe she was really there. “How long are you gonna be in town?”

Maryse swallowed, feeling a lump form in her throat. “Just a couple of days,” she replied, trying to keep her voice steady.

There was a brief pause before he spoke again, his words hanging in the air between them. “Would you… would you want to hang out? Maybe we could actually talk.” His tone was nervous, as if he was afraid of her answer.

She met his gaze, feeling a rush of emotions flood over her. Despite everything that had happened between them, she couldn’t deny the longing she felt to spend time with him again. With a nod, she managed to reply, “I’d love that.”

***

an: aaaaaand we back!!!

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gojoscalico · 6 months

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Turn Back Time || f i v e

Summary: You were never sure when it started to fall apart but it did. 10 Years later and now you're facing him again. Will it reignite the feelings you both once had for one another? Or will you both end up walking away from each other once again? Word Count: 2004 A/N: I know the last chapter was so confusing but just trust the process!! Hahah! Also I am thinking of posting on Mon-Wed! But please enjoy this chapter and let me know if you would like to be added into the tag list for this story! Tags: @coffee-on-a-rainyautumn @thefictionalcharacterssimp @picievi @tqd4455

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“Where’s Y/N?” Satoru glared at Suguru as he sat up from the hospital bed. “Satoru…just focus on getting better and we can talk about it when you get better.” Satoru looked around to find that Riko was in the corner of the room with her eyes closed. He sighed a bit in relief, he was glad that he was able to complete his personal mission of saving Riko from becoming Tengen’s sacrifice. He knew that there was going to be a fight with the elders of the clans and maybe even a fight with Tengen. But if she was born to be a sacrifice doesn’t that mean they can just choose someone else? “So you’re finally awake?” Satoru nodded as he winced a little in pain. “And you’re still alive?” She chuckled a little bit, “Thanks to you and Geto…”

“And Y/N. Where is she anyways?” Suguru sighed as he grabbed Riko. He has to tell him. He wanted to wait until he was a little better but he was going to find out eventually. Might as well find out now so he can't do anything since he doesn't have the energy left to do anything, “Riko why don’t you go wait outside? I need to talk to Satoru alone.” She nodded as she left the room leaving an awkward silence between Satoru and Suguru. All that could be heard was Suguru shutting the door behind Riko. The silence made Satoru nervous, he felt his heart beating faster. Trying to remember in what condition she was in before he came into the room to help fight Toji. He couldn't remember. His head had sent him into the worst place possible. She has to be okay. “You’re scaring me.” Suguru sat down on the chair by his bed and took a deep breath, “She’s gone…” Satoru’s whole world stopped as he felt a mix of rage and grief take over his body, “No…She was–”

“No, she left. She’s not dead. She left.” Suguru had forgotten for a second that Satoru hadn't seen her yet since the fight with Toji of course he would think she was dead. Satoru laughed away the anxiety that filled his body, “She’s okay then… when is she coming back?” He watched Suguru’s stoic face, “She’s…I don’t think she is.” Satoru laughed thinking that it was a joke and Y/N would rush through the door crying and hugging him because she thought he had died but he waited and no one bursted through the doors. “What are you…”

“After Shoko healed her she was summoned by Principal Yaga and then she started packing for a mission. But she packed all her stuff that meant something to her…things she wouldn’t normally bring with her because she was afraid to lose it.” Satoru was shocked; he sat there in silence trying to put things together. Trying to figure out why you would leave so suddenly with no explanation. Why you wouldn’t even wait till he woke up, if not to say goodbye but to at least tell him why you were suddenly leaving. “Get out.” Suguru nodded as he quietly got up from the chair. He knew what Satoru needed right now wasn't a friend but to be left alone.

Weeks have passed since you left the school. There was no news of you anywhere. It was as though you had vanished into thin air. Satoru did his own investigation trying to find some reason behind your decision. But the only thing he had heard happened before you left was that his clan and Yaga had talked to you after the Riko assignment. “Satoru, are you listening?” He shook his head, “Sorry. I was trying to ignore the bullshit coming out of your mouth.” He watched as a representative of the Zen’in clan scoffed at his remark. “You know your hubris will be your downfall, Riko is a sacrifice to strengthen Tengen-sama that's what she was born for so she has to be sacrificed.” Satoru, distinctly pissed off at the remark of the elder, got up and laughed maniacally in his face. He tried everything within him to not kill him. He was weak. A simple punch was all it took for Satoru but he didn't because all he can hear in the back of his head was your voice asking him if it would be worth it. After calming down a little he glared at the elder, “She’s a child, she has the right to choose whether she wants to live or not.”

“Really funny coming from a kid himself, did you fall in love with her or something?” Satoru scoffed pausing before he replied to the question. The only way he can think of right now to save Riko and to keep her from being sacrificed was keeping her by his side. “That’s right… and if you touch her you’d have to go through me and through the Gojo clan. Is that a battle you’re willing to fight?” Flabbergasted, the elder couldn’t say anything back. Satoru turned his head to the head of the Gojo clan. He was quiet and he sat there with his eyes closed listening to the conversation unfold. He suddenly opened his eyes looking straight into Satoru’s eyes. He meant it as a way to intimidate his clearly superior grandson but he didn't flinch. Dissatisfied he turned to the Zen'in elder who flinched at his gaze, “If my grandson is so sure of the way he feels about the young girl and she agrees to marry him then that makes her family. Which means you can’t touch her unless you have a death wish.”

“Tsk.” The Zen'in elder scoffed as he got up and left the room. Satoru won this fight but now he has to somehow explain to Riko that until he finds a way to stop them from coming after her as a sacrifice they are bound together. He watched as the head of the clan smirked. He knew Satoru was lying. But he didn’t care if it meant he could have him forget about that low-born sorcerer he had fallen for.

“Riko…what are you doing here?” Satoru asked as he glimpsed back at him to watch you walking away. Fuck. “The clan told me that the school was attacked and I had to make sure that you guys were okay…how’s Suguru?” Satoru sighed, “He’s fine. But now I am in a pickle because of what just happened.” Riko looked down at her shoes,”Sorry…I didn’t know who could be watching and it would just look weird if I didn’t run up to you like that…don’t you think you can explain everything to Y/N?” Satoru sighed as she ran towards Suguru. “I hope so…”

It's been a week since the incident but for some reason you were all still in Tokyo. You have been trying to avoid Satoru especially now that you knew that he was in an approved relationship with Riko. Your heart would hurt every time you thought about what made Riko good enough for Satoru but somehow to his clan you were an eyesore. Avoiding them was a little harder than you had originally thought because apparently Riko was a teacher at the high school too. And for some weird reason she had been looking for you everywhere. But you weren’t ready to meet them. Just thinking about Satoru holding her in his arms made your stomach turn. Afraid that when you would somehow run into him or into Riko you would burst into tears you decided to lock yourself in a hotel room you had gotten for yourself for three days. You spent most of those days crying or watching tv while crying or eating while crying. Whatever it was you were doing you were doing it while crying. You took a look in the mirror in the bathroom. Your eyes were red and poofy. Sighing, you washed your face with cold water wiping it dry with a clean towel from the rack in the bathroom before checking your phone; thirty-five missed calls from Hime and hundreds of texts all from just today. She was worried, after all you did what you did best when handed a difficult situation. You ran. You flopped yourself onto your bed groaning into the pillow. “Ahhhh…Why are you so stupid? Of course he was gonna move on, it's been a decade.” You sat up sighing as you dialed Hime’s number before placing the phone on your ear.

“Oh my god! You’re alive! Where are you?” You sighed, “Hime I’m fine…I’m at a hotel. I needed to uh…unwind?” You heard her laugh from the other end of the phone, “Was that a question or?” You sighed again, “I’m not sure but meet me at X Cafe in like half an hour.” Before hearing a reply you hung up, throwing yourself off the bed and back into the bathroom. You put some makeup on to hide the redness around your eyes, you didn’t want her asking any questions because you were supposed to no longer be in love with Gojo Satoru. So why should seeing him with another girl hurt you as much as it did now. You knew he wasn’t gonna be in love with you forever. Feelings fade, especially love, you knew that.

You walked to the cafe. You wanted to enjoy the Tokyo scenery before you went back to Kyoto. You didn’t want to admit it but you missed the way the streets are always bustling with people. It reminded you of the days when Satoru was afraid of losing you in the crowd and he would hold your hand and put it in his pocket. You remembered the first time he had done this the both of you weren’t dating yet and you were so sure it was the first time you felt your heart skip a beat. You laughed because you recollected the conversation with Shoko that ensued after that, you were so certain that you had caught a disease of some sort. “Arrived at your destination, X Cafe.” You paused as you turned your head to the left. You tried looking in from the outside to try and see if Hime had arrived but the windows were tinted a dark color which made it a little difficult so you just pulled the door open.

“Y/N!” You turned your head to the left of the restaurant and smiled waving as you walked towards one of the tables by the window of the cafe. You faltered as you suddenly became aware that she wasn’t alone. Fuck. Sitting at the same table as her was the trio and Riko. You glared at Hime who averted your gaze, “Hime…I see you brought other friends.” Hime laughed nervously, ‘Ha...Ha…Did I not mention this in any of my ten thousand messages.” You sighed because she probably had but you didn't bother reading the text messages. Satoru clearly saw the anger written on your face. He knew there was no way you wanted to see him. I mean he confessed to you while being in a ‘relationship’ he knew that his actions may have seemed unfair to you. “We really just needed to explain the situation to you since you kept avoiding us and we couldn't get a hold of you...” You nodded as you took a seat next to Suguru.

“Okay I’m here now…let’s talk. I have a lot I also need to tell you. And I honestly thought that I would have a little more time to gather my thoughts but since I’m ambushed I’ll have to wing it.” Satoru nodded, “Okay fair enough…to move past whatever happened between us ten years ago we need to talk about it.” You agreed as you looked down at the drink in front of you and took a sip. Satoru watched you drink the tea and he smiled, “I’m glad I still know your preferences.” You felt your cheeks burn red. Damn it.

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sankatsuka · 3 months

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Backlit Lens Flare and CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY Discussion - Reigniting The Passion Lost to Peer Pressure

Everyone wants to have a place to belong, where the hard work we pour into the things we love will be seen and appreciated by people. But what happens when you decide you will never find this place and resign yourself to a life of solitude, only to be proven wrong by a group of people who insist on your wholehearted hard work? And it only later dawns on you that you will someday have to part ways and you will lose the miraculous place you finally found.

This is what I like to think Rui Kamishiro encapsulates - the battle between being yourself and wanting a place to belong. How easy it is to get swayed from what you love when you think you've found this place and start to subconsciously dedicate your passion to this place instead, to the point that if you're not aware enough, you can forget the feelings in your original passion (resulting in the hesitation and doubt in Curtain Call). After all, nobody is the same, and if you focus too much of your passion on them, that passion becomes about them and not yourself. Ultimately, it is how not acknowledging a healthy boundary with people who are different from you can affect your passion (Shiho as a character is very integral to this).

Warnings:

I believe the entire WxS plot is meant to be misdirection.

Personal interpretation of Rui and several characters by inferring from text.

I believe Rui is a flawed person with no bad intentions, so there will be criticism of his character here. I really suggest turning away if it upsets you.

Spoilers for all WxS unit stories up till Backlit Lens Flare (as well as for Saki, Shiho, Akito, Mafuyu and Mizuki's characters up to their most recent stories)

Edit (11/2/2024): Made multiple edits as always, but biggest change is talking more about the foils in CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY and Kitty's message. Edit (12/2/2024): Compulsory mention of Rui's mom and how he was set up for failure from way back then. Edit (12/2/2024): Expansion on the parallels between Rui and Mafuyu - what it is that makes them the CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY and Jackpot Sad Girl. And a summary on how three commission parallels supports this interpretation of CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY about Rui's characters. Edit (13/2/2024): Lets add a bit more about how Resonate with You criticizes Rui's actions in Curtain Call. AND MANJI ALSO BEING A SLANG MEANING EXCITEMENT, STILL APPLIES TO TSUKASA IDC!!

Rui's character in the story starts off as someone who has thrown the part of himself who wants to have fun making things with people after being repeatedly let down by them. The early times with Wonderlands x Showtime helped him remember that desire from childhood to find a place that accepts that desire, that he criticizes Tsukasa for not appreciating WxS - for not realizing the best shows can't be accomplished without friends.

"--The best shows can't be done alone."

Following the fallout, Tsukasa and WxS' continued insistence and appreciation of him makes him start to see them as a place he can finally belong to. The place he's searched for for so long since childhood. That when he saw Tsukasa get hurt, he became swayed from doing the things he wanted to do for the first time and he hadn't even noticed it - because Tsukasa might leave him like his classmates had, so he has to hold back so as to not disappoint him further. This resulted in Tsukasa and Ruis second argument, with Tsukasa being angry at Rui for lying and holding back - which I later argue is the exact same feelings in his FUZAKERUNA in CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY.

"This is surprising. I didn't think I'd ever feel this way." "Being afraid of losing your place, and then being unable to face the actors who seriously respond to you - this is a failing as a director."

However, this entire ordeal ended in Rui acknowledging his weakness, putting the whole deal behind them and moving on with the show, as KAITO advised. (Spoiler: it isn't weird at all to say that this happens again, with how he deals with it so indifferently like this.)

And then in Curtain Call, he becomes painfully aware that everyone may leave someday for their dreams--

"Someday, the day we will have to depart will come... For both me, and everyone."

Doesn't this just seem like a repeat of Halloween in a different way? He's scared they'll all leave him alone. One can say that Curtain Call ignited the exact same fear of being left alone and losing your place that Rui felt in Halloween - and his reaction feels exactly the same too: acknowledge it, put it behind you and move on to doing what is best for the best shows. After all, Rui lives for the best shows, because it is what makes him most happy - albeit Backlit Lens Flare suggests how he doesn't actually fully remember the joy and passion for shows he had as a child (discussed later). The best way to put it is - Rui feels like a walking corpse of his childhood.

Normally, when you realize this possibility of parting in the future, you talk to your friends about this (see: Saki Focus 3, Get Over It). But Rui refrains from talking to the people he should be talking to (WxS) and proceeds to go for the most obvious decision for his dream by joining Arklands. Only after Asahi turns him away does he go for the next obvious option he sees - the reckless decision that he would do everything in his power to achieve everyone's dreams together. And he can so confidently chase it because he's smart, only to be put down in Backlit Lens Flare lol.

Rui has really just been powering his way through the things he finds unpleasant, as KAITO had told him to in Halloween, ignoring the bad parts and doing everything for the sake for the best shows. You can really, really argue that KAITO's advice in Halloween seems very, very morally ambiguous now lol. He doesn't think ahead of what is the best choice and what would make him happiest - it's as if he's avoiding the very line of thought of how he would do post-WxS. Compared to Shiho in Focus 1, 'Resonate With You', who shows how she has thought it through and is happy enough just spending time with Leo/need for leisure - Rui doesn't even reach this line of thought of what happens next.

I think that he avoids thinking properly about these stuff because he wouldn't have a proper answer to it. Can he really trust Asahi when many other people have disappointed him after showing some interest before this? On the other hand, he's argued with Tsukasa twice and everyone is still enthusiastic - WxS is the only place he's ever felt secure.

"There were a few people who saw my ideas and said, 'it would be interesting if we could do it'." "But even those people gradually became reluctant with the more new ideas I brought to them."

It may generally be underestimated in the story just how much Rui doesn't inherently trust people and actors.

Even CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY begins with 'Nobody's listening anyway. Music's all just fashion, players leaving the field after devouring dead sounds one night.' which can be interpreted as people who became reluctant after they spent too long around Rui as he says to KAITO above, innit.

And then, Backlit Lens Flare happens and Rui encounters ??? (Sakaki). Sakaki immediately identifies the problem with Bakuno's acting, pinpointing it to the directors instead of the actor. Rui was not able to.

Remember, the freelance option isn't permanent - there's the possibility someone may be recruited away (It's a story for another day that he is only really worried about Tsukasa instead of the whole WxS but doesn't realize this). Rui paying attention to their growths first of all before his own is testament to how he's trying to make sure they quickly grow so they can achieve their dreams together:

"...It seems it became good stimulation for both of them right away." "...I also need to more proactively study from this opportunity."

So even now, Rui is more worried about WxS over himself. He prioritizes making sure they are getting something out of the freelancing gig over himself. Only after watching them was he stimulated to do his best too - and here comes the question, where did his drive to be proactive for his own passion go to?

Sakaki's ingenuity finally pops this question to Rui's mind. Had Rui's brain not been filled with the worry of losing his place, he may have been able to think more clearly and just as quickly reach the same conclusion as Sakaki. If he had been filled with thoughts of what was satisfying for himself instead of how he could stay with everyone, he may have been able to create a much better film (see: Shiho Focus 3, Stick to Your Faith). In fact, why is he even so bothered about falling behind Sakaki, when Rui isn't even an adult or a professional director himself?

It's not normal to be bothered about that: Nene was never hard on herself for not being as good as Kazamatsuri, because it's a given she's far away. But she does get upset with herself when she realizes she had looked down on Sakurako and naively seen her as an equal. You only react that way with people you see as equals if you're secure.

Perhaps, the passionate person Rui used to be would have admired Sakaki and want to learn from him out of a pure love for shows instead. And not be so bothered about how he was falling behind professionals.

We see Rui fail twice in the story: not figuring out the problem with the scene, and not thinking ahead of personalizing the script like Ohara had. (There is a third time too: how Tsukasa and WxS seem so moved by Bakuno's performance that Rui played no part in - meaning there are others who could easily replace him - if the emotions in this discussion hold true). And it's no wonder it would have him start questioning and blaming his obsession with WxS for it - if he had not been preoccupied with them, he may have avoided his failures altogether, and even if he did, he wouldn't have been this upset.

It's like a hit to his ego. Is how he's acting and behaving really the same boy who loved shows and would do anything for a show that would satisfy him?

Right now, it's as if Rui is trying hard to protect his position as a talented genius that surpasses everyone so WxS will need him for their dreams and want him around. No one can replace him; only he can achieve their dreams for them.

But Sakaki and Ohara prove him wrong.

The closing lines of Backlit Lens Flare, where he focuses on his own feelings towards directing instead of anything WxS learned, implies this self-realization of how he had been behaving. Rui is finally focused on himself.

"I'm disappointed that I didnt come up with this method, but strangely enough, I feel refreshed." "Directing... really is interesting."

FIRST UP. WHY DID YOU NEED TO COME UP WITH THE METHOD. SECONDLY, WHY ARE YOU REFRESHED. It makes sense to me as someone who's been carried away a lot: when you realize you lost sight of your original intentions and began worrying more about so many unnecessary things, you feel bitter at your mistake but relieved and refreshed you've finally been woken up.

To me, all of these feel like they're pointing to Rui being afraid of losing his place in WxS. So he has to be capable of solving everything, achieving everyone's dreams, so they will need him for it and they can keep staying this way. Before this, it seemed like a normal human emotion he had just never experienced before, but now, it's starting to show it's actually detrimenting his passion.

This is what I believe the theme of trends are playing into in CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY - doing anything you can to make sure there will be people to hear and appreciate your music, and the spite in realizing you've lost yourself in that pursuit. Money is the artificial love you receive by catering to people so they would stay and listen to you. It's heartless, but following his character, it seems the crowd he's referring to is WxS. Because they have their strong individualistic dreams and just won't simply stay with him as he wants them to, he has to keep worrying about keeping up with them (Tsukasa mainly):

But still, here, there, everywhere, loners, manji, Gen Z, even monkeys want it.

Loners=Rui Manji (a sign of good things to come)=Tsukasa (being surrounded by good luck charms; kanji 天 being associated with heaven; inviting Rui to WxS) (edit: manji is also a slang for excitement, which Tsukasa literally is for Rui) Gen Z=Nene (digital age, playing video games) Monkey=Emu (in Rui's picnic card and Emu in Sky's Edge)

(In NY2, Emu ended up drawing tons of big luck omikuji, and Tsukasa is surrounded by monkeys in Island Panic - so you can suggest their roles are reversed. But the robot monkey Tsukasa in picnic suggests Tsukasa isn't a real monkey.)

Curtain Call and Backlit Lens Flare together show how not addressing and expressing fears properly and simply moving on changes nothing. Self-awareness and powering through is useless advice - anyone who's had troubles with lovers, friends and family know you need to talk and accomodate each other. Or not, is it even feeling loved and cared anymore, isn't it just about control then?

In Resonate with You, Shiho makes Leo/need think through their choice to join her into becoming a professional, rather than accepting them right off the bat. She knows from her prior experience working with people that half-hearted musicians would only fail, suffer and drop out. It is only by Leo/need wholeheartedly declaring their intentions of facing music sincerely and seriously that Shiho is convinced that they can all do it together for sure. This is such a contrast to Rui in Curtain Call where he decides on his own that he will find a way for WxS to achieve their dream together, while barely thinking at all. And he winds up focusing so much on making sure WxS stays together. You need to think it through, face the future seriously and talk properly. NOT JUST LEAVE IT THERE!!

Or else you'll lose sight of your original motivation from focusing too much on things that don't really matter as much to you: you'll just end up half-hearted.

Further proof that Backlit Lens Flare is Rui's realization of his half-heartedness since Curtain Call, is that Tsukasa gets angry at him in CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY like he does in Halloween. It isn't even a desperate shout to save someone - it's like a look of pure judgmental disappointment, as if they've been through this already. Stop lying.

He already shouted in anger in Halloween. If that didn't reach Rui, then there was no point in being all angry anymore.

Rui was repeating Halloween, trying so hard to protect the place he belongs to and forgot what he himself truly wants. From there, the lyrics in the entire CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY are self-explanatory: what happened to the things you wanted to sing? (I was so happy with the lyrics because it was exactly what I was thinking in Curtain Call but no one seemed to care).

One thing you can never take away from Rui is that he is a very, very passionate guy. He loves what he does that he would spend every waking hour of his day working on it. Even if he's become a shell of his former self, his body is still naturally drawn to shows (Samsa Kanade reference heh). And Rui himself believes himself to be purely passionate too. So when he realizes that passion has been thoroughly dirtied, it makes sense he's as angry as he is in CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY.

In Anni 2, Rui says he didn't know what he wanted to do like Mafuyu, but then he corrects himself to say he THOUGHT he knew.

"Actually, in the past, I didn't know what I wanted to do." "No... I should say that I thought I knew, but I actually didn't know at all."

For a brief moment, Rui thought he was just like Mafuyu with nothing to call his own. Until he quickly remembers that he did indeed have something he wanted to do, but claims to have been mistaken.

Why did you briefly relate to a girl who felt like she had nothing she wanted to do like everyone else, if that isn't a sign of his current state of mind - feeling like he has no dreams like WxS, and having to keep up with them so that he can feel like he belongs (discussed later in the parallels with Cinema). His lost passion became more evident at this point of the story.

If you 'thought you knew', then that means it was once a genuine feeling too. Even if you're alone, doing what you love is still fun - Shiho in her Focus 3, 'That Day, The Sky Was Far Away' demonstrates this. Although she had been let down by the bandmates, she was still fine alone because music made her feel better. And she even inspired Mihane because of her enthusiasm. After all, what you love to do should make you happy to some extent.

In comparison, Rui seems to have forgotten that shows were actually fun in middle school (probably because Stick to Your Faith never happened for him). When he approached Mizuki, he was standoffish and didn't think to introduce Mizuki to the fun of shows even when they expressed some interest in it. Probably because he couldn't even remember it himself. But being able to make that decision suggests he did still have some semblance of emotions that felt like shows were fun. Once again, a walking corpse of his chiildhood.

In the end, it's like he already lost this original joy for shows since middle school, and then grew even more confused about what made him happiest with the new joy he experienced after finding a place in WxS. He hasn't been able to wholeheartedly enjoy his passion because he's been continuously rejected, and he thought he was having fun when WxS accepted him - but in the end, that fun was from finally finding a place.

Update: Tetrad gives more implications of how Rui had gone astray post-Curtain Call. Tsukasa and Rui sing together, "We're facing the same direction", but Rui appears troubled. It's like Rui can't declare that he is chasing his dreams as confidently as the rest of WxS. Deep down, a part of him probably knew this even before Backlit Lens Flare happened but was afraid of facing it.

I would further go on to associate CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY to both Kitty and Cinema which its imagery resembles. The card set takes place in Shibuya where Kitty takes place in, and Cinema uses the same director's cut + Tsukasa's trained card directly mentions Cinema on the billboard.

There's also the naming that is clearly based on Jackpot Sad Girl - which I think just goes to highlight how both Rui and Mafuyu have the power through it mindset that it lands them dead and sad respectively: people need to reconcile their differences with others to truly love and feel alive (Rui) and people can't endure stress for too long without getting depressed (Mafuyu). Both ignored their human needs and thus this is where they wound up.

The parallel with Kitty feels like it's also within the overall messaging - how facing things can lead to losing yourself even more when you aren't mentally prepared and have no clear-cut answer (sounds similar to what Rui carelessly did in Curtain Call, doesn't it?). In Mafuyu's case, she seemed about ready to change herself again to please her mother, and in Mizuki's case, opening up to Niigo would make them more sensitive to what they say and probably even change themselves so as to not be left alone. Mizuki has even expressed this sentiment once by dressing as a boy in middle school, when they already knew they loved cute things since childhood and was even reaffirmed by their sister.

In Our Survival and Escape, the point is made that it's BECAUSE Mizuki never opened up to Niigo that they were able to protect their heart. Compare this to Rui, who bore everything about himself to WxS by not holding back with his performances and past and thus gained their unconditional acceptance. As a result, he becomes swayed by them when he realizes that things would come to an end and becomes preoccupied with stopping it even at the cost of himself - his passion. If Mizuki had similarly put their utmost trust in Niigo like this, it wouldn't be surprising either if they quickly get swayed to stop expressing themselves too if one of them ever expressed dismay (hinting that they would leave).

Thus, in order to find the answer to real love, you have to protect your heart first, even if it means running away and distancing yourself from others (Kitty). But unlike Mizuki, Rui was taught from childhood to simply not care about what people say, so he has never been aware of just how much words can affect you (compare the advice Mizuki's sister and Rui's mom gave them: completely different). This winds him up in CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY, where he's unknowingly adjusting himself for WxS to not leave him.

As for Cinema, both songs capture how Akito and Rui's struggles and fears at the time feel like the exact same - being left behind and losing your place because you weren't enough, to the point of losing who you really are (Akito pushing himself to be passionate to match everyone else, Rui falling into the trap of peer pressure to match everyone else. What they envy in 'everyone else' is how they want things that Akito and Rui don't feel like they really care about and view as meaningless. But in truth, they don't care about it only because they're more concerned about belonging - they've always had it deep down in them.).

But in Akito's case, VIVID BAD SQUAD directly reaches out for him when he pushes himself far too much and forces himself to suffer to make up for his lack of talent. That's why Akito is reassured that even at his weakest and most pathetic, there will be people there who refuse to leave him alone. So Cinema feels like Akito freely lamenting on how he's different from the people, that he can't keep up with them, but with VBS by his side, he feels like it's fine to find and pursue who he truly is.

On the other hand, CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY feels like Rui's suppressed spite from having to keep up with WxS in order to not be left alone. Because everyone else will betray him, it has to be and can only be WxS who've endured him until now. It's the first time he found people who would stay, so he's desperate not to lose them that he would subconsciously change himself so he can keep matching their needs. And the realization makes him spiteful, because he's lost what was fun for him from that need to change for others to stay. And he's left to stay lost to the very end, because the only way right now for him to be himself and stop worrying is by others matching him instead, but there is no way to 100% control people - compared to Akito who found his answer by coming to terms with the impossibility to control yourself to be someone else. Because VBS was there to accept him as he was when he was trying so hard to be someone else.

Rui will probably eventually realize he has to just accept he's lost his passion from the fear of being alone and stop lamenting controlling everything around him, once he gets tired of it and reaches his limit like Akito in Stray Bad Dogs.

Suddenly everyone started up onto a nonsense scenario (Whatever you do, wherever you look, there's a traffic of influencers.)

It's just like a movie, exactly like a movie. (But still, here, there, everywhere, loners, manji, Gen Z, even monkeys want it.)

No matter where you go, there's a story. (Just give me a punchline, its meaning can be whatever.)

Cinema and CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY are like the perspectives of two boys who feel like outsiders to the world, but one is actively trying change himself to belong somewhere and the other finds himself suddenly facing peer pressure when he used to not care about belonging somewhere. It's even contrasted in Akito's customer service front and Rui's indifference to school terrorism that they are foils of one another in a society. And probably why Akito hates Rui too - for taking any means necessary to achieve what he wants without a care for people, when Akito has spent his life working hard to be equals to people in order to belong.

[More similarities in lyrics, in no particular order (CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY in brackets):

Traffic’s already jammed up now. Oh well, nothing I can do about that anyway (Whatever you do, wherever you look, there's a traffic of influencers.)

“It wasn’t supposed to be like this.” "What was it supposed to be like then?" (What happened to things you wanted to sing about?)

Back then I'm sure it was there. The thing that I envisioned was there. When was it that I... (There must have been something you wanted to sing about.)

What are you playing at? Who are you trying to be? There's no way you could be that, right? (At this rate this will never end. What you want definitely isn't money.)]

Maybe it's coincidence, but the lyrics in Cinema also reference Curtain Call very early on:

Someday it'll be bye-bye when the end comes, so Smile for the curtain call and applause.

Cinema is accepting of it and faces it head-on. Rui still avoids it.

And Cinema also captured what happened in Backlit Lens Flare with Bakuno. Something Rui couldn't figure out on his own without Sakaki and Emu:

If you're not suited for the role, Then just rewrite the script!

This is as if implying Akito realizes early on that people are all different, and there may come a time you have to part because of your differences. So you don't have to keep worrying about fitting in - try your best to be yourself instead and smile when it all ends.

This is something that Rui hasn't faced at all, so it's pretty meta that he hadn't thought of matching the actor's individualities. It seems he's lived with the belief that directors have to adjust themselves according to the level they believe the actors are on and actors have to work their hardest to live up to the director's wishes at all times - because the director knows best. Instead of truly understanding their actors for who they are as individuals and what they individually need.

"I always try to cast actors in a way that brings out their strengths." "That's why I always get you to play the role of a type that is easiest for you to match."

And this becomes a regret for Rui in the same story - realizing that he hadn't thought enough about what Tsukasa really wanted and needed.

"...I feel a little regretful that I hadn't thought that far."

Nene's surprise at Rui's words further imply that this isn't how he normally is. That he wouldn't be thinking so much about people and their personal needs.

It isn't therefore surprising that he agrees with and commits to the mindset that he has to power through his emotions without speaking to anyone. He expects that from his actors, and applying it to real life, it means that your role and scenario have already been decided from birth and what was left was living up to it. It's frighteningly similar to the lyrics in Engeki, which I wasn't even thinking about. Except it wasn't forced on him but rather something Rui decided on his own, with no harmful intent from the people who fed that mindset. Even before KAITO - it was his mother who unknowingly instilled this in him:

"People are people, I am myself. If you take care of what you like, someday you'll be able to make friends too. Like how I met your dad." (i.e. don't bother with the painful things around you, just keep doing what you do and keep going until you get there.)

And hence why this commission is full of firey anger. The story tramples on the way Rui has lived until now, proving him wrong when he thought he finally found his answer by powering through his fear of losing WxS. How it made him realize that he had at some point been driven by something petty like being with friends forever and lost the passionate part of him, the one who would do anything to satisfy himself. He's realized he's no longer having fun like the child he used to be, evident from the lyrics that start off with how he no longer has anything he wants to convey.

"Now let's all laugh. Aren't views more important than art? A terrible price for the virus. So what will you do? Is that really fine?" The lyrics are as if Rui is finally realizing that everything he's been doing, making people smile up until now, has been just for views (for WxS to stay around), and it finally makes him question, is this what he really wants??? Where did all the passion, fun and self-satisfaction that he thought he was making shows for went to???

(This is a more literal translation, the popular TL translates it as Then what do we do? Was that how it was supposed to go?)

I don't know if it's clear now - but in conclusion, CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY feels very much like Rui realizing how he was more focused on protecting his place over enjoying what he does. The first lines of the song do seem to be screaming a spitefulness in not being able to just do what you enjoy: "No one wants to listen (...), I don't have anything I want to convey (...)"

That's why CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY is an ironic name, appearing on the director's cut to imply they're filming a movie of Rui's life. How Rui had been living dead against his own self - falling victim to peer pressure (trends) to protect his place in WxS. Until Sakaki reminds him of the heights his true self wanted to reach and reignites the passionate fire for theatre inside him.

In summary, to simplify it, CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY's parallels come together to tell a complete story about Rui Kamishiro (biased but idc): 1) Jackpot Sad Girl: The unhealthiness of Rui and Mafuyu's mindset of powering through what they think they want without properly talking to people. 2) Kitty: How putting your trust in people can sway your heart and steer you away from what you truly want, something Mizuki knows and thus avoids but not Rui. 3) Cinema: A combination of Jackpot Sad Girl and Kitty - how a person with Rui's mindset is left feeling angry and confused when realizing he has lost himself from having his heart unexpectedly swayed by people. This is foiled by a complete opposite like Akito who has lived a life with no reason to truly call his own and is bitterly aware of how it is all because his life has always been completely defined by other people.

(Man, I LOVE the Cinema foils so much. Akito and Rui are such perfect opposites I LOVE THEM.)

And finally, from the end of CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY:

Devoid of soul, music remains silent Unheard lyrics conceal their essence; without playback, music loses its meaning. Thus, modern music is pronounced deceased.

YES. YES. DEVOID OF SOUL AS I SAID, HOW RUI KAMISHIRO FEELS LIKE A WALKING CORPSE OF HIS CHILDHOOD. PLAYBACK!!! LOOK BACK AT YOUR PAST AND FIND YOURSELF!!! REMEMBER THE JOY AND PASSION YOU CAN'T GIVE UP RUI-KUN!!! Stop trying to keep people around, face solitude and be brave: what's most important is to be yourself!

Backlit Lens Flare felt like a reawakening for Rui, and it's why it's one of the best stories alongside Pandemonium for me. If Tsukasa is completely avoidant, then Rui is full of blatant lies. But of course because the writers will never clearly describe the emotions in WxS stories, I can't confirm this is the intended interpretation. It's just my own personal interpretation that I enjoy best and makes most emotional sense to my personal experiences.

But my opinions are bound to change because there are soooo many ways of seeing things. For now, this is what I think of Rui Kamishiro in Backlit Lens Flare and CYBERPUNK DEAD BOY.

#project sekai #rui kamishiro #kamishiro rui #wonderlands x showtime #wxs #it's so difficult to talk about rui #i do kinda get how this feels but i guess it's hard to put into words because of how dull the feeling is and you don't even know its there #until you do something thats out of character for yourself #someone whos always trying to convince themselves they dont care when people hurt them will get it #ok i take back my comments on the popular tl of cyberpunk dead boy being biased its just difficult to translate lol #rui is literally set for failure and doomed by the narrative #im sorry i keep editing i just find it so hard to put my thoughts about rui into words

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mangocustard16 · 5 months

Text

To sweet endings and even sweeter beginnings

| synopsis: A cozy dinner plan turns enchanting when a power outage leads to a candlelit dinner under the stars, creating a memorable, intimate evening.

| pairing: bf!Joshua Hong x gn!reader

| genre: fluff

| warnings: mentions of food

| w.c: 0.5k

| a/n: this is pure fluff, shua and y/n both are clumsy idiots, but they're idiots in love requested by anon ♡

200 followers event masterlist

The evening began with the delightful anticipation of cooking together—a shared experience envisioned as a date to remember. You had carefully (by carefully you meant fighting against the vendor for a bargain which almost became physical fight) selected a menu, gathered the ingredients, and set the stage for a cozy dinner at home. As Joshua artfully arranged the table (after breaking 3 plates), the room aglow with the warm light of anticipation, little did you know that fate had a different plan.

Just as the table seemed perfect, the lights flickered and succumbed to darkness. Your initial excitement dampened, replaced by a touch of disappointment.

"Oh no, the power went out! I guess today is really not the day," you said with a hint of sadness. Sensing your change in mood, your boyfriend proposed an alternative that would turn your evening into something even more enchanting.

"Looks like we're in for a romantic twist," he said with a mischievous smirk on his face. "How about a candlelit dinner under the stars?"

A spark of excitement reignited within you. "That sounds amazing, Shua!"

Together, you carefully moved the table and chairs to the balcony (thankfully no tableware was damaged this time), the cool night air brushing against your faces. The stars twinkling above you, casting a gentle glow on your impromptu dinner setup. Joshua lit a few candles, their flickering flames adding warmth and enchantment to the evening.

As you settled into your seats, you couldn't help but appreciate the beauty of the moment. The soft glow of the candles illuminating Shua's face, highlighting the love and passion in his eyes, as the night sky became your backdrop, a canvas painted with myriad stars. The aroma of your carefully prepared dinner mingled with the night air, creating an enticing fragrance that heightened your feelings.

Joshua reaches across the table, his hand finding yours. "A dinner date under the stars wasn't exactly what we planned, but I think it's turning out to be even better," he says, his voice filled with affection. You let out a chuckle, "Who needs electricity when we have the stars and candlelight?"

As you delved into your meal, the conversation flowed effortlessly. You reminisced about your favorite shared memories, exchanged playful banter, and let the evening carry you into a world of its own.

"I'm telling you that vendor takes us for a fool", you complained. Joshua's laughter echoed in the night air, harmonizing with the soft crackling of the candles. The ambiance was so enchanting that it almost felt like time had suspended itself.

"Even with all the chaos, this might be the most memorable dinner we've ever had," Joshua mused.

You nodded in agreement, "Who needs a fancy restaurant when we can have a night just for us like this?"

Your eyes locked, and Joshua leaned in closely and your hearts fluttered. Joshua took your hand in his, gently caressing it with his soft touch, your heart racing as his did. The two of you held each other's gaze, the tension building until finally, Joshua's lips brushed against yours in the most gentle and sweet kiss.

@kflixnet @k-labels @k-films

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rosesloveletters · 6 months

Text

help me find my way back.

pc: x

Pairing: 1971 Willy Wonka x Reader

Word Count: 1,912

Warnings: Nudity, depictions/mentions of anxiety and depression.

Summary: ‘When it’s storming’, Willy would often say, ‘the last place you want to have your head is in the clouds.’ // Reader and Wonka bathe together, while Reader reflects on their own difficulties as they fight to determine whether true love is strong enough to make them not give up on themself.

Author's Note: This story was born from a long walk taken on a cloudy autumn day. All I had were my thoughts and that was enough. I never would have anticipated I'd be writing for this character, but life works in mysterious ways. I am just pleased to be writing again. Enjoy.

Edited.

divider created by @/saradika on Tumblr.

You knew when it became real love.

It started with a breath of fresh air you imagined taking, because you were so stifled there beneath the false canopy. You loved the sanctity of the factory, but just once would you have delighted in the feeling of warm sunlight sinking into your skin instead of the fluorescent lights recessed into the ceiling above your head. You missed having your head in the clouds instead of gazing up at artificial cirrus and synthetic cerulean blue.

You could have left any time you liked, but that would have been too easy. Some dreams were worth chasing, even if it came with certain sacrifices. You could make do without a lungful of outside air, but you couldn’t take a chance on losing out on yourself.

There was a time when you were the cause of the crushing weight on your chest; you would reclaim that time proudly, which coincidentally was the very heart of the problem.

If the heart knew what it wanted, then yours must have lost its way a long time ago. Perhaps that was why you’d been experiencing palpitations lately.

This would not be the first time your heart led you astray.

Even so, you hoped that this time might be different.

‘Could this be enough?’ you asked yourself. ‘Could he be enough?’

Your mind had been cloudy enough to make up for the lack of them in here. You felt trapped inside a mind and body that were not your own; you could not control your own brain and no longer could manipulate your thoughts. You hesitated when you spoke because your train of thought kept derailing.

It wasn’t enough to keep trying to save someone who was already lost.

That was, until the echoes of him came to exist within your very pulse. His cornflower blue eyes – you’ve been pining for that same shade of blue sadness for far too long – were reminiscent of ones you laced within your own hair as a child. His literacy reignited your hunger for knowledge and how you used to devour each page of the books you loved. His sarcastic wit reminded you of how you’d painstakingly perfected the art of elocution and used it to your advantage time and again.

He bridged the gap between your past and present and in the death of your disunity, you fell in love, both with him and with yourself.

His presence in your life cut through the fog in your mind like headlights glistening through the haze. You still had miles to go, uncharted territory to map out, before you could lie down and rest comfortably within his arms, but even though you had a long way to travel, he’d take every step with you as if the journey were his own.

Never would you cry yourself to sleep alone, feeling the weight of your misery pressing down on you rather than the warm body of your beloved.

You had known love before and felt it, deep within the presently vacant cavity of your chest. You knew it existed and, yet it came and went, changing like the seasons, traveling like a storm.

If love were meant to be that violent, then why was his embrace as warm as springtime sunshine? Why were his eyes clear blue like that of the sky after it rained? Why did his heart beat, not like thunder, but like undulating ripples of a quiet pond?

He filled your mind with poetry and it came spilling out of you now.

If you were to take the form of a golden leaf, nature’s waste discarded upon the ground, would your beauty be unique enough to make him pick you up and put you in his pocket? If you were a clump of moss growing steadily upon a concrete pillar, would you be able to feel the graze of his fingertips along your plush foliage? If the two of you were coffee rings left by two overflowing mugs staining the mahogany, would you overlap?

It was no question as to what had changed to make you think this way again; as often as you’d tried to fill the void in your chest with someone else’s heart, he made you realize the one you must nurture first is your own.

You would sink into yourself again, the same way you were about to sink into the bath you’d just run for you and Willy.

You reached for the faucet and turned it, shutting the water off, and watched the last few drops cling to the cold steel, then fall into the bath. You reached out and let your fingers delicately graze the surface of the water as you tested the temperature. You were delighted by how easily calm waters turned rough; Willy would say you’re halfway to a metaphor there.

Once you had deemed the water warm enough, you got off your knees and turned to face your lover as the bathroom door was opened.

He stepped inside the room and closed the door behind him, turning around to meet your loving gaze.

You both undressed in the comfortable silence of the small bathroom. The air was thick with steam and drops of condensation clustered on the mirror above the vanity. You had lit several candles which smelled of honey and warm sugar and placed them strategically throughout the room to aid your vision without an onslaught to the senses.

With your clothing out of the way, you let Willy settle into the bath first.

Your eyes raked over him in the low light accentuating the curves and supple accents of his body and you took in the way the water rose several inches when he sank down into it. He extended an arm to guide you into him once he was ready and you gingerly lifted one leg over the side of the bathtub, letting him take hold of you by the hand as you eased your way towards him.

You lover’s warm hands were gentle as he helped you sit in the bath with him.

When your back connected with his front, you let out a soft sigh of pleasure at both the warmth of the water and the closeness of your bodies.

You both basked in the intimate glow permeating the darkened room and you felt the gravitational pull between your two forms. Your future was constellated, a string of stars wrapped around your hearts, connecting one with the other.

You were uncertain whether you believed in soulmates, but if you were asked to put how you felt for him into words, you would have said that you were sure you were made of dust from the same star.

“Are you comfortable, dear?”

The sound of his voice overwhelmed you with emotion and you turned to look at him. You met his strikingly blue gaze and the first thing you thought was how much you missed him.

You missed him, yet he was there with you.

You could feel the warm press of his body against yours, much warmer than that of the water because you knew what you were feeling was him.

It did not make sense to say that you missed him, but perhaps that tightness in your chest and the clenching fist around your heart and the tears that were burning the backs of your eyes were caused by the same culprit; it might be impossible to miss what was right in front of you, but you had somehow found a way, because it wasn’t Willy whom you had missed with all your heart – it was yourself.

You had lost yourself in the search for something better and you could have cried till you ran out of tears, screamed until you had no voice left.

The processional of time had not been kind to your brain. You were riddled with anxieties you did not remember developing and those rotten, malevolent thoughts were taking up space where your lover used to be. His face was shrouded in mystery not of his own doing.

You had taken him away from yourself before you’d been honored the pleasure of calling him yours.

You couldn’t see the forest for the trees because you had let yourself grow complacent.

When you recessed into yourself too far, Willy coaxed you out again. He would help you return to the person you once were and find yourself again in this changed world.

You nodded peacefully at his question, “yes. This feels lovely, thank you.”

His only response came in the form of a gentle hum and you felt yourself sink into him at that, his body, your vessel, and his love, your anchor.

Beneath the surface of the water, his arms encircled you, fingers linking together as he held you within the comfort of his embrace. He could sense that though you were quiet, your mind was loud and without hesitation, he began humming a tune. His melodious voice silenced your mind almost immediately and the only resounding thought inside your head was how lucky you were to experience a love like this one.

Willy hummed the verses to ‘Pure Imagination’ while the two of you laid in the bath. Though you had heard him sing the words too many times to count, there was something different about it this time, like he was trying to communicate with you about something important but lacked the right words.

Willy Wonka was in possession of one of the vastest vocabularies you’d come to know in the mo, so that wasn’t it, but in your weary heart, you knew what it was.

You needed a reminder that your mind was a great tool, not just one that tormented you.

And, if your own mind became too much for you, he would let you get lost within his for a while, where you would be free, if you truly wished to be.

That was enough to send one tear tumbling down your cheek as you nestled into him, hoping he would not notice, but he did. His hold on you tightened and his chin now rested on the top of your head. Arms that had previously been locked around you parted and his hand found yours under the water. He held you tight, keeping you on the ground with him.

‘When it’s storming’, Willy would often say, ‘the last place you want to have your head is in the clouds.’

There would be plenty of time to lose yourself in imagination. For now, your attention was his.

He continued to hum to you, held protectively in his arms until he could sense that you were calm.

There were times when Willy questioned his own mind and the things it did to him, never quite understanding where the thoughts came from, which were dreams and which were nightmares. He had mistaken one for the other on more than one occasion and needed to be brought out of his racing mind. With you there to remind him of that, he was able to differentiate.

If he could help you to better understand yourself, he would. He would travel the world over, do the impossible, think unthought of things and invent a way to return you to yourself if he could.

But, above all else, Willy wanted you to know that he loved you, fiercely, passionately, completely.

Perhaps this love would be enough to make you want to keep fighting to save yourself.

#willy wonka #willy wonka and the chocolate factory #willy wonka 1971 #wilder!wonka #willy wonka x reader #willy wonka imagine #willy wonka and the chocolate factory imagine #gene wilder #biblio :: 📖

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celestialtarot11 · 1 month

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How to Turn Your Situation Into Something Positive 🍵💗

Hi friends! Welcome to another PAC reading where we’ll be looking at how to transform any current situations you’re in! Keep in mind there are many different groups here and there will be messages which you won’t resonate with, just leave it for someone else 😊❤️ Please like, comment and reblog to share the love ☮️

Pile 1 🌟- Hi there pile 1’s! Someone definitely did ya’ll dirty in a situation and it left you feeling sad and lonely. A loss was created because someone handled a situation unfairly, and you’ve been feeling very down. This situation felt like it was weighing on your chest, and possibly there was a misunderstanding of feelings, or someone took something the wrong way and blew up here. And I feel like you took the brunt of the situation for a long time. I feel like this is something that was happening for a long time, and you’ve been wanting justice to come to this situation, or karma to hit that person to show them where they went wrong. Its also very possible for some of you this person reached out and reignited those triggers and you’re finding it difficult to be compassionate towards them. Your anger is understandable and so are your triggers, I feel like spirit is saying it’s important to know your boundaries in this situation and have your back. Look after you first. There are/were people who benefitted from you having no boundaries because they liked the feeling of power, and that needs to change. There’s this feeling of stepping up or no longer accepting their bullshit, which I’m so proud of you pile 1! Know your worth and value. Thats how you turn this situation into a positive one. Knowing your true worth and value will help you walk away from anything that is less than what you want. This person could be bread-crumbing you and as of now you’re done with that energy! Im also hearing whilst its very understandable you’d wish someone their own karma, spend your time wishing yourself the blessings you’ve always wanted instead. Feed yourself empowerment and start thinking “how can I support myself now?” be there for yourself pile 1, and also once you heal you begin to see a lot of things that you didn’t before. Within yourself and everyone else. Happy healing pile 1 💗🌟 Wishing you the best! Please like comment and reblog to support this blog ✨

Pile 2 ☮️- Hi there pile 2! ❤️🌟 Welcome to your reading. For you I see you need to distance yourself from a community or situation here and really really focus on your self confidence. Your esteem, body, and health. There’s something about getting your life in order and no longer letting external factors or people tell you what to do. Become your own boss in this situation. Some of you need to take an active role in this situation as well and know you’re the shit! 💗 like speaking up, setting boundaries, deciding what YOU’ll do, not focusing on them. You’re everything anyone could ever want, and some of you may have forgotten that. Your true power is meant to come out in this situation. What would help as well is remaining unbothered by this person or situation. I’m hearing it’s a silly situation, for some of you. Like petty high school drama. There could be someone trying to compete with you and show they are the best, but truthfully insecurities are loud, confidence is quiet. I’m hearing from spirit let them make a fool out of themselves because they are responsible for themselves only! What they say and what they do is on them. Continue working on yourself because I feel like whoever this is, is trying to undermine your confidence or skill, and you won’t stand for it and shouldn’t! 😤 I also feel like spirit will be giving you messages in your dreams about this situation so definitely sleep with amethyst, clear quartz or lavender herb under your pillow. If not allergic, drink lavender and chamomile before you bed ✨either way I feel like your presence is truly amazing and its like royalty, and what you need to know is that don’t give those haters your attention. Focusing on yourself is literally the best outcome here. Thank you pile 2’s! Please like comment and reblog to spread the love 💗🌹

Pile 3 ⌛️- Hi there pile 3’s! First of all I just want to ask if ya’ll are okay? 🥹❤️ Ya’ll seem to be going through it. Either a relationship with someone got unhealthy and controlling, or there has been a loss and you’re struggling to cope with it. Spirit is offering a lot of support and healing right now, and although you may not see it or feel it, spirit is protecting you heavily now. There’s a veil around you. I also feel that this ending was necessary because it was getting toxic, controlling and brought out the worse. I think someone here had to make a decision to choose themselves over toxicity. And it’s okay to hurt by that too. Honor and acknowledge your loss without shaming yourself for making the healthy choice 💗 I received the Queen Of Cups so I feel like there’s something about focusing on your growth and healing now. “Let growth be your mission. Let healing be your reward. Let freedom be your goal.” I love this quote and I go by it. Spirit wanted me to share it with ya’ll. I feel like ya’ll have been working on your healing for a long time and revisited something of the past, and its been tough processing it. In a way, its allowing this new version of you to come through and grow every time 💗🥹 This new version of you has a lot of emotional abundance and knowledge, and is definitely patient and caring. I feel like your higher self is coming through to also say it’s important to feed yourself kind words. If harsh words worked it would’ve worked a long time ago is what I heard too. Call yourself the names you wish to be called, like nicknames, talk gently, and use respectful words to yourself the way you would with anyone else ✨💗 I feel like you guys used to give everyone your secret wisdom, or the things you’ve healed from like all of that information, and now you are being asked to remain private and selective about it. This will help you a lot in this situation to focus on yourself. Thank you for being here pile 3 and I sincerely hope this helped you ❤️🌟 Please like comment and reblog to help this blog grow 🌟😊

Thank ya’ll for stopping by! Its highly appreciated and I really hope this PAC got ya’ll the clarity you needed ❤️🥹 Thank ya’ll for being here always.

Paid Readings 💗✨

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sanakimohara · 4 days

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HIATUS LIFTED + NEW INFO (TW!!! Health Issues - Trauma)

Please don't get mad…..but I'm OFFICIALLY coming off of a hiatus. However, a LOT has happened, and I will have to break it down for you all to understand.

Firstly, my college started back up (still kicking my ass, but I'm getting through it)

Secondly, I got a new hyper fixation for a while (hazbin hotel…. I know I'm a sucker for psychotic unhinged and musical content)

Thirdly, family issues/court case trauma…

Fourthly, I did have a minor seizure (four days ago, actually), and I meant to start writing again the day it happened, but yeah… I've been hospitalized since then and just got released last night. That was a traumatic and borderline psychosis-inducing event… I'm fine now and know what caused it and how to prevent it, but I'm still readjusting. I'm young and at low risk for another seizure since this one was caused by a mix of stress, dehydration, and low blood pressure (and lack of appetite). I hit my head after fainting while walking and ended up seizing because of the impact….the aftermath was more horrific than the initial pain/blood/concussion/ and initial shock.

Being in the ICU is not for the weak, and I seriously thought I was going to die at least twice, and then being intubated didn't help either. Still, my family was there, and apparently, my brothers played soothing/lullaby versions of SKZ songs while I was unconscious…which helped me. But I thought it was lovely. The oldest of the two knew how much Channies room meant to me and showed up to watch it on the TV when I finally woke up and could talk. He didn't say much and kept putting on Chan's room, so I'd stay calm and go to bed more easily.

I'm saying all this to explain why I haven't been too active and why I've decided to come back. After experiencing something so…agonzing and scary all of sudden I just don't want to waste my time or my ideas. Also, spending some time reconnecting with SKZ through a tough time has reignited my love for them.

Especially Chan…

I'm back, a little loopy from all the medicine and newfound stress…but I'm back. I plan to upload a few things soon so look forward to that!

#skz #stray kids #hiatus #fanfic writing #fanficwriting writing

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21wanderer · 5 months

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Airing laundry

Body a day - #21: Electricity

Part 2 of Dirty Laundry #8

My friend looked desperately at me, whilst struggling against the ropes. I quickly knelt beside him and managed to remove the gag. ”He assaulted me!” he cried frantically as soon as I removed the gag, ”he took the mask and the suit!” ”Who was it?” I asked as I tried to untie him, it wasn’t easy as my hands were shaking and the knots were tight. ”I don’t know who he was, he wore a mask – a ski mask! He jumped at me, tasered me and tied me up! Then he just put on the mask, stuffed the suit in my bag and left...”

”But how did he know?” I asked rhetorically, I dared not think the thought, but our secret was no longer safe, whoever that assailant was… they had uncovered our secret. “What do we do?” my friend then asked. “What can we do?” I replied hopelessly, “nobody was supposed to know, it’s not exactly like we can report this to anyone, he left the house almost 20 minutes ago, I don’t think we’ll be able to catch him, especially when he has suit.”

My friend was in complete distress, but I didn’t know how to comfort him, nothing I could do nor say could make things better.

Months passed, and we still had no clue, who the guy in the mask was, nor what happened to him. My friend and I had decided to move to another town, we no longer felt safe in our old house, especially since we didn’t know how much that intruder knew. Did he know I was wearing a bodysuit too? Would he come after that too?

The uncertainty was certainly the worst, but then around spring I made a shocking discovery.

It was Matt! The name of my friend’s bodysuit, his persona. Matt was performing at a concert, the clip had apparently gone viral, and somehow ended up in my feed. I had to watch the clip several times, as well as check the linked social media profiles to be absolutely sure… And sure enough, it was the Matt suit alright. I went back through the history… On the very day back in November, when he attacked my friend, he was posting his first picture, wearing both the mask and the suit.

This new ’Matt’ had quite a history, incredibly active on social media from day one, and it seemed he had became a musician, he composed and sang songs, and apparently he had risen to fame in the short amount of time since he stole the suit. When I showed my friend, he completely lost it.

”That m**********r! On the day he stole it, he started wearing it!” he raged. “Well, he was already wearing the mask…” I replied quietly, the thought was sickening, but at least now we knew where the mask and the suit were.

The Matt-suit or Coltrane as this imposter apparently called himself was apparently a rising star in the music industry, having launched multiple hit singles in only a few months, gone viral and become very popular and adored. Again, it was sickening. But it also gave me an idea, if we could reclaim the suit and mask, then my friend could take the imposter’s life, fame and fortune for himself. My friend was obviously all-in, a spark had reignited within him. He was ready to reclaim what was his.

My friend was studying Coltrane’s music, videos, pictures and profiles intensively, I could feel a glowing dedication fuelled by a desire for revenge. Meanwhile I tried to think of a way to get to Coltrane, but it wasn’t easy, we had a vague idea of the area he lived in, thanks to his media. But I thought that the best opportunity we would get, would be at one of the many festivals and concerts Coltrane was scheduled to perform at during the spring and summer, if only we could get back stage.

It took some meticulous planning, I got in touch with an old high school acquaintance, who was working as a technician at one of the festivals Coltrane was supposed to perform at, they helped me become a volunteer back stage (which unfortunately meant I had to go without my facemask for a whole weekend). But if everything went right, I should be able to corner Coltrane and get the suit back, then let my friend take his place. It was risky, but it just might work.

For good measure I even began to studying electric wiring and installations, in case I needed a distraction, a power outage might be the most convenient distraction at a concert or festival.

The day for the concert at the festival arrived, and my friend and I were all set for hunting down the impersonator, and reclaim what he stole. My friend attended as a regular guest, while I helped out backstage, moving stuff about, fetching stuff, nothing too exciting, but at least I could put my bodysuit’s muscles to good use. I quickly managed to find the imposter’s caravan in the backstage district, I passed by as many times as possible, surveying the area, I even saw the imposter on a couple of occasions, seemingly enjoying himself, unaware of my presence and my plans. Turns out it was even easier, I hadn’t actually needed to study electrical installations, there was one thick long cable running to the imposter’s caravan. All I did was just pull it out, then knock on his door to hear, if he had any issues with his electricity.

He hadn’t noticed anything, he admitted, then he tried to flick a switch, and saw that nothing happened. “Can you try some of the others?” I asked innocently, surprised he hadn’t recognised me, granted I had altered my looks a bit, “some of the others having issues said it was only some of the plugs, that weren’t working. The imposter went deeper into the caravan, I followed him and shut the door behind me. I pressed a rag covered in a sedative against his face, he struggled, and while he had my friend’s bodysuit’s muscles, I was able to overpower him with mine.

Triumphantly I began to undress him, a devilish satisfaction in finally getting revenge coursed through my body and mind. I chucked all the clothes in a pile, then began to pull off the sweaty bodysuit. Finding an edge at the neck, I managed to get my fingers under the facemask, so I could begin stripping him off my friend’s skin. It was as sweaty on the inside as the outside, and although it still stuck to the imposter at places, I managed to pull it off, revealing a skinny body beneath.

I pulled off the mask to reveal the culprit. It was just some guy, approximately 30 years old, short hair, pale and honestly very inconspicuous, I didn’t even know him, I recall maybe having seen him around town, where we used to live. But to think that this guy had been plotting against us was surprising. I tied him up, tight and thoroughly, then placed him in a cupboard.

I quickly pulled on the Matt-mask as well as the imposter’s clothes. It had been a long time since I’ve worn Matt’s face, my friend and I didn’t swap bodysuits as often as we used to. But I only had to play Matt/Coltrane for a few minutes. I texted my friend, telling him I was successful and to come to the back stage entrance, I’d then be able to let him in. To say my friend was happy to see me was an understatement, but to the security guard who let him in on my request, he was just a crazed fan, who finally got to meet his big idol. We went back to the trailer, where I showed him the unconscious thief in the cupboard. “We’ll need to find out, what we are going to do with him. He’s a threat to us,” I said coldly having pulled off the mask, as my friend with great satisfaction reclaimed his bodysuit. “We’ll figure something out,” my friend answered with an equal level of animosity, “let’s just keep him here, then smuggle him out later.”

“How do I look?” my friend asked me, having fully reclaimed the bodysuit, his lean, athletic build, his smooth, flawless skin, his confident, strong vibe. It was like falling in love all over again. He pulled me in towards his naked lean body, looking like this he had no problem not wearing clothes. As we held each other I smelled his neck, there was something strangely arousing about the new musk, the suit had absorbed from the other guy, not that I wasn’t plenty aroused already. “Now let’s get the face back where it belongs,” I said with a grin and handed him the mask. He grabbed it eagerly and pulled it over his head, that familiar face I had looked at every day for almost half a year was now replaced with another familiar face. He pushed the features into place, smoothed the edges around the neck. Matt was back!

“’Sup!” Matt said with a cocky grin. “Good to have you back, stud!” I said, pulling him towards me. “Hell yeah, I finally feel like myself again!” Matt replied with his reclaimed voice, his confidence had returned. “We better get you prepared for your concert, Coltrane, your fans are waiting for you.” I said with a laugh, Matt laughed as well. “Yeah, they are really in for a show, my big comeback!”

“Ha! Good one, but don’t forget you’re Coltrane now, just like you were this morning.” “Of course, I don’t think it’ll be any problem taking his place. I’ve done my homework,” Matt winked at me. “I can’t believe, I’m dating a rock star,” I joked, as I helped Matt/Coltrane dress in the imposter’s stage clothes. “I know,” Matt replied, zipping the leather jacket, completing the look.

“This wasn’t exactly, what we had planned for our future, but I’m sure, we can make it work. Use the next couple of years raking in some serious money and experience the glamour of the musician lifestyle.”

I don’t know how Matt/Coltrane did it, but he pulled off that performance like it was second nature, he sure had done the homework. I watched him from behind the scenes, he was even better than the imposter, and he seemed to be at home on the stage, celebrating our triumph in front of the oblivious crowd. The atmosphere was electric.

#male body transformation #body a day #male transformation #male bodysuit #male body suit #life takeover #stolen identity #identity theft #stolen clothes #imposter #impersonation #bodysuit #male skinsuit #male masking

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nicoline1998enilocin · 8 months

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My idea is:

Tony and the reader were high school sweethearts, and they loved each other very much, but she went to college in another country, and they had to separate 😔 but they never stopped loving each other... a few years later, she returns to live in the United States and they bump into each other in a coffee shop or something, they recognize each other, have a coffee and a long talk together, the flame of love burns in their eyes and he asks her out on a date... they go out to dinner, spend the night together 😏 and promise never to separate again. A few more years showing them married and with children 🩷

I love your fluff and smut very much

Falling in love again

PAIRING | Tony Stark x Female!Reader

WORD COUNT | 2.2K

SUMMARY | You've been living abroad for almost a decade, and when you find yourself back in New York, you also find yourself in touch with the man you thought you had said goodbye to forever all those years ago. When the flame reignites, the two of you never let go again and finally live the life you have always dreamt of.

WARNING(S) | This is your official trigger warning. Do not proceed if any of these topics upset you. Smut [ Unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!), creampie ]

A/N | Thank you so much sweet Nonnie, this request melted my heart, and I can't wait to hear what you think of it! I hope you enjoyed reading it, and if you ever have another request, don't hesitate to let me know 🖤

Likes, comments and reblogs will be very much appreciated 💚

Divider is made by @firefly-graphics | 18+ banner is made by yours truly

Main Masterlist | Tony Stark Masterlist

The sight of the city you grew up in is odd but, at the same time, so familiar. You're walking through the streets of New York again after being away for almost a decade to go to college in the UK. You are entirely in your element as tiny snowflakes start falling, and the city slowly starts to get coated in a white layer.

The first place you go to after not being here for so long is the place you love the most and have the most memories: the giant Christmas tree at Rockefeller Center. What you did not expect, however, is to run into someone who once upon a time meant more to you than anything in this universe.

You're standing in line at a hot chocolate cart so you can warm up a little bit since the snow is starting to pick up. You adjust your jacket and scarf slightly when you suddenly hear your name being called from a distance.

You don't need to look over to see who it is because you recognize that voice from anywhere, and you're delighted you get to hear it once more. ''Tony? Is it you?'' you ask, and a wide grin appears on your face as he approaches you.

''What are you doing back in New York? I thought we'd lost you forever to the charming people of the UK,'' Tony joked, and you couldn't help but feel like nothing had changed in all those years you have been gone.

''I just missed New York; it never quite felt like home, so I have officially moved back,'' you tell him, and then it's your turn to get your hot chocolate.

''Can I get two peppermint hot chocolates, please?'' you ask, and Tony smiles wide. Your heart skips a beat at the sight, and you realize you've never stopped loving the man next to you.

''Let me get them,'' Tony says and you agree. You give him a soft kiss on his cheek as a thank you, and you see the blush spreading across his face at the feeling, which confirms your suspicions.

''Come on, let's go somewhere we won't get snowed in,'' he offers, and you happily walk with him while bringing up old memories. Before you know it, you've ended up at your apartment building since you live near Rockefeller Centre.

''Did you want to come in to catch up? This is where I live,'' you say, and he does. Opening the door and leading him into your apartment feels like coming home for Tony.

''I still can't believe how it feels like coming home, even though I've never been here, and I haven't seen you in years,'' he chuckles, and you smile widely at his compliment.

''Well, having you here with me makes it a whole lot better, and the fact that it's Christmas finishes it all off for me,'' you tell him, and the Christmas joy is pretty much leaking out of your pores.

''Do you still drink the same tea as in high school?'' you ask, and Tony nods while giving you a smile that warms your insides through and through.

When the tea is made, you sit down next to Tony on the couch, and without thinking about it, he puts his hand on your thigh, just like all those years ago. Like nothing has ever changed.

The two of you talk for hours and hours on end, talking about everything you've missed out on over the years until it is finally time for Tony to go home.

''It was great to catch up with you, and I would love to see you again,'' he starts as he's at the door, and you nod.

''I'd love that too, Tony,'' you say as you stand on your tiptoes and kiss his cheek, and a thank you for everything, for not making your Christmas so lonely.

''How about dinner on New Year's Eve? Maybe we can even ring in the New Year together,'' he offers, and you see a glint of mischief in his eyes.

''Wouldn't have it any other way,'' you say, and with one last hug, he returns to his own house, and you're left with a rapidly beating heart, a lip that's almost raw from biting it to keep in your squeals, and an ache between your legs that only he can resolve.

It's New Year's Eve, and you're getting ready for dinner with Tony. He texted you to be prepared at 8 P.M., so that's exactly what you're going to do, and your outfit is already laid out, ready for you to wear.

You've taken a shower and slipped into a black lingerie set you chose to make Tony go crazy for. The two of you may have been in love for all those years, but your first time together will be exceptional in every single way.

Your makeup consists of a red smokey eye to compliment your dress and a nude lip to ensure you don't overpower the look. Your hair is put up in braids with a half-bun, letting the rest fall over your shoulders.

All that is left is slipping into your red velvet dress and putting on your black heels, which is perfect timing because Tony will soon take you to the restaurant.

He has always been punctual, and today is no different; at precisely 8 P.M., he knocks on your door. You open it with a big smile to see Tony standing in front of you in a black three-piece suit tailored to perfection.

Your breath hitches in your throat as you look him up and down, his hair styled in his usual messy hairstyle, but even with the suit, it looks like it belongs and doesn't look out of place.

''Hi, Gorgeous,'' Tony says as he takes you in, your long legs underneath a red dress, your makeup complimenting the dress, and your accessories matching each other perfectly.

''Hi,'' you say shyly at the nickname, and he holds his hand for you to join him. You take it, and you can't help but think about how warm his hand is, sending a shiver down your spine at the touch.

The drive to the restaurant is short despite all the traffic, and you arrive on time for your reservation. The hostess shows you to a table on the second floor, with perfect sight of the fireworks later that night.

You two picked up your conversation right where you left off, and over dinner, there was a lot of laughter, longing looks back and forth and touches here and there. When there were a few minutes left until midnight, he guided you to a balcony where you had an even better view of the fireworks.

He came to stand next to you while handing you a glass of champagne, and his hand found its place on your waist, sending a shiver down your spine.

''I can't believe we found each other again on Christmas day; I can't help but think it was a sign from the universe,'' you tell Tony as you turn to him.

''Hm-hmm, the timing couldn't have been better. Speaking of which, it is almost time to ring in the new year,'' he says, and your heartbeat quickens, and you feel your cheeks getting warmer with anticipation.

You hear people counting in the distance, but it is such a faint noise that it could never have been there. Tony's hand cups your cheek, and he brings your face to his, a dull roaring in your ears as you close your eyes, and he kisses you when the clock strikes midnight.

His soft pink lips capture yours in the sweetest, most sensual kiss the two of you have ever shared, and it seems to go on forever. When you pull away, you have a slight grin on your lips, unable to keep it from happening.

This kiss awakened a fire within you that never really went away, but while it had been a teeny flame for years, it was now a full-on fire that made your blood feel like lava.

''Please promise never to let me go again,'' you whisper as you look deep into Tony's eyes. he kisses you in response, which makes your knees buckle, and he has to hold you up.

''Everything okay there?'' he asks, and you try to laugh it off, but you know it's useless. Tony is well aware of what's happening and can't wait any longer.

''I need you, Tony,'' is all you say before he takes you to his house, and when you're there, the two of you don't waste time going to the bedroom. He has a perfect oversized couch, as you're getting very impatient.

He strips you out of your clothes in record time, and his own follows right after as he lays you down on the couch.

''Are you sure about this? Because after this, I'm never letting you go,'' Tony asks, the irises of his eyes almost completely taken over by his pupils out of pure lust.

''I'm sure, Tony. Please make me yours,'' you whine, and he does, not wasting any time. He lines his hard cock with your entrance before slowly pushing in, your back arching at the stretch as he slides home.

Moans leave both your lips, but as soon as his lips brush against yours, you attach them, drinking in each other's sounds when he is buried completely.

''Jesus, you feel so good wrapped around my cock,'' Tony groans out while your fingernails scratch his back to get some grip on what's happening. You feel your mind slowly slipping from you, Tony being the only thing you can think about.

''P-please,'' you whisper, and with that, Tony sets a slow pace, trying to make you feel as good as possible for as long as possible. He keeps hitting your sweet spot, and within no time, you feel your orgasm washing over you as your fingers have found your clit.

''F-fuck, Tony, make me cum,'' you pant; he does, as he picks up his pace, this time chasing his high.

''Gonna pump you so full you're gonna be leaking with my cum,'' he says, and after a few more pumps, he makes true to his promise. Long ropes of cum shoot into you, and not long after, you cum again, too, making his seed drip out of you.

''You look so good with my cum leaking out of you,'' Tony says before he uses his fingers to shove it back in, making sure it all stays in.

After that, Tony takes you to the bedroom, where you repeatedly make each other fall apart until the morning sun rises.

You get a few hours of sleep, and when you wake up, you're expected to find Tony, but instead, you're met with an empty side of the bed and the smell of breakfast in the kitchen.

As you get up, you grab one of Tony's shirts and a pair of his boxer briefs before walking to the kitchen and greeting the man you love more than anything in this universe.

''Good morning, Gorgeous,'' he says as you walk into the kitchen with your messy hair. You're glad you removed your makeup before falling asleep; otherwise, you would have been a mess.

When you're next to him, you wrap your arms around his waist, resting your head against his arm as he fries some eggs for breakfast.

''Thank you for everything,'' you say, and your heart is filled with joy now that you have the love of your life back.

''I should thank you for walking back into my life like you did,'' he says as he plants a soft kiss on your lips, leaving you smiling like a lovesick idiot.

''I love you,'' you whisper, closing your eyes as you rest your head again.

''I love you too,'' Tony responds before putting the egg on a plate.

''So, you hungry?'' he jokes, and you can't help but smile at his idiotic jokes, but you would not trade them for anything.

You're in the kitchen preparing some vegetables for the barbecue you and Tony are hosting for the Avengers, their other halves, and their children now that the two of you have bought a bigger house to accommodate the little ones growing inside you.

Tony is outside with the Avengers, and you look out the window; seeing how thrilled he is now makes you happy, too. You've finally gotten the life you have always dreamt of living together.

A few years ago, he proposed, and not even six months later, you were married, your first child on its way not long after. Now you're pregnant with kids 3 and 4, expecting twins.

''What are you dreaming about, Gorgeous?'' Tony asks as he walks into the kitchen, unable to be away from you for too long.

''You,'' is all you say before he pulls you in for a kiss. Your daughter Morgan and your son Jonas are playing in the garden with Clint's children, and all the Avengers are enjoying themselves.

''Life couldn't be any better if we've tried,'' he says, his hands finding their favorite place, your stomach.

''Life is perfect now,'' you say as you lean against him while looking outside. If you had known this would happen, you would have returned years ago instead of staying away for so long.

#tony stark #tony stark fanfiction #tony stark fanfic #tony stark one shot #tony stark request #tony stark imagine #tony stark x female reader #tony stark x reader #tony stark x y/n #tony stark angst #tony stark fluff #tony stark smut

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pearlsandpemberly · 17 days

Text

being seen - kageyama tobio x hinata shouyou

Summary:

Hinata is mute but that doesn’t stop him from being the loudest person in the room. Kageyama is the idiot who always knows what he’s saying.

Genre: Fluff

POV: Third Person

Read on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55230229

Note: I'm simply vibrating with excitement waiting for the film so I rewatched all of Haikyuu and remembered this pairing <3

Hinata Shouyou doesn’t need to talk to make his presence known.

Or, as Tsukishima sometimes says, Hinata is the only person who can be so obnoxiously loud whilst being unable to speak.

The middle blocker of Karasuno is lightening in a bottle and every player and volleyball fan is in awe of the short redhead. Within the first minute of meeting or observing Hinata, it becomes obvious that he’s not quite like his teammates: his gestures and facial expressions are larger than life, his enthusiasm radiates off his body as he shakes with excitement, and his determination is so present that anyone can taste it. However, sometimes his hands form signs, more fluid and complex than the silent signals some players keep hidden to their teams when in play; his mouth doesn’t move the same way everyone else’s does when the team bow in thanks at the beginning of the game, though he bows deeper than anyone else; and the only sounds that leave his lips are the occasional cries on court or joyous laughter.

But it doesn’t matter, because on the court, Hinata is the loudest of them all.

He’s a blur of blue and orange, trainers squeaking as he runs and jumps, flies, spiking the ball with such vicious speed, the slam echoing before the other team has caught up with the play. Karasuno yell and clap each other’s hands and backs, but Hinata’s bright eyes and wide grin outshines everyone else’s glee. When they win, he’s takes to jumping on all of his teammates, pummelling them with his fists and accepting high fives – when they lose, he’s trembling with a mixture of emotions, but his determined expression only seems to intensify, despite the tears gathering at the corners of his eyes. Rival players seem intimidated when they come to shake the middle blocker’s hand at the end of the game, unable to look away from Hinata’s unnerving stare that encourages challenge beneath the haze of heartbreak.

Everyone talks about Karasuno’s number ten; it’s hard not to. No one says a bad word about him, and even if they were to dare, they would have to bypass Karasuno’s number nine first.

Kageyama Tobio remembers the first day he met Hinata.

The last year of Junior High and the last tournament Kitagawa Daiichi’s volleyball team would play. Yukigaoka’s team had meant nothing to him as they walked onto the court and took their positions. Their number one had been so short that it made Kageyama snort with mirth, but he couldn’t help but be fascinated by how his teammates talk to him without him having to say a word, his hands making all the conversation.

It had been a quick game filled with easy rallies and unsatisfactory wins, but their anomaly had harboured all of Kageyama’s attention. Their team had no place at the tournament, and neither did their small captain, but the boy had shown potential that made Kageyama’s blood boil. The way he had jumped like he had wings made his jaw drop but the way he had persisted even when all was going downhill for his team made Kageyama bristle with rage.

He remembers grabbing onto the netting and yelling at the boy, asking, demanding, pleading to know where he had been and he hadn’t looked at him. He remembers the same boy standing on the steps, looking down on him with tears streaming down his cheeks and staring at him with the same fire that has burned within Kageyama for years.

And Kageyama remembers seeing the boy again on his first day at Karasuno, and felt the fire reignite.

Hi! My name is Hinata Shouyou and I’m mute. I have apraxia that affects my speech, which basically means my brain won’t let me talk. No questions are stupid :)

Hinata holds up the pad in the gym when he meets his seniors and again when he properly meets the other first years. Everyone reads and nods, some with a nervous uncertainty, smiles either encouraging or weak. The less skittish members like Tanaka ask for further clarification and Hinata scrawls his answers down without hesitation.

Whenever they first meet a team for a practise match, Hinata holds up the same writing, grinning from ear to ear. The young men are, for the most part, always kind: the second and third years treat him as well as any of his other teammates; the first years rope him into conversation with ease after the games. Kenma from Nekoma gravitates towards Hinata, their silent exchanges bringing Kenma’s team to tears seeing him finally make a friend. Aone from Date Tech, another player with few words to say, always gives his time to Hinata when they cross paths. Even their more ‘extreme’ rivals like Oikawa never use Hinata’s condition against him, sticking to insults regarding the team and his less-than-perfect volleyball skills.

Overall, most introductions go well.

Kageyama’s didn’t quite go that way.

“Swallowed your tongue, have you?”

It’s the first thing Kageyama says to Hinata because the silence between them has stretched on beyond his usual threshold of comfort since his serve had been interrupted.

Immediately shame begins to crawl up his neck and twist in his abdomen as he watches the boy in front of him go red in the face as his mouth quivers slightly. Kageyama doesn’t get an answer but instead watches the boy stalk up to him, standing on his tiptoes as he reaches into his jacket pocket to whip out a book and pen. He skims through pages covered in writing to a blank one and begins to scrawl furiously. The pad slaps Kageyama in the face as he holds it up.

Why are you here??? Shouldn’t you be somewhere else? You aren’t supposed to be here, this is MY place and MY time!!!

Kageyama pulls his head back, squinting his eyes to look at the chicken scratch on the page before his eyes flicker back to the boy. “What, you think I can read that shit?”

He doesn’t know why he’s saying these things, he knows it’s ridiculously rude, but it’s out before he can do anything to take it back. The boy doesn’t seem overly deterred, simply pushing the pad against Kageyama’s face again. Kageyama bats it away, snarling with irritation.

“Why does it matter why I’m here?” he says. “Why are you here?”

The boy’s eyebrows rise and disappear under his hair as he looks at Kageyama like he’s the biggest moron in the world, nostrils flaring as he starts writing again.

Because I’m joining the volleyball team, idiot. Why else?

“You? Seriously?” Kageyama scoffs. “I doubt you’ve improved over the past several months to earn a place here.”

Fists clench at his sides and the boy’s eyes flash with an almost satisfied determination. It’s the same look that Kageyama remembers at the tournament and the fire within him is stoked again.

The argument that ensues is hardly one-sided and the boy barely uses his pad to fight back. It isn’t until the second and third years come in that Kageyama remembers his name.

Hinata Shouyou.

After they’re kicked out of practise, Kageyama thinks better and holds his tongue, despite the various prods and pokes that Hinata bombards him with as he circles around outside the gym. Wrestling with his growing concern that he won’t be allowed into the team and the irresistible urge to punch the very person threatening his spot on the team has Kageyama ruminating so intensely that he begins to lose himself in his emotions and miraculously gains the ability to block out the annoyance.

That’s until Hinata grabs the back of his jacket and shoves the battered pad back in Kageyama’s face, the metal rings almost catching him in the eye.

“Watch it, jackass!” Kageyama grunts, ripping it out of Hinata’s hands and crumpling the paper, tearing several pages clean off and throwing the rest to the ground. “Like I can be on a team with someone as unbearable and useless as you.”

When he makes eye contact with Hinata, he sees his eyes go hard and his shoulders tense. Kageyama braces himself for a punch to the gut – or the face – but the contact doesn’t come. Instead, Hinata closes his eyes and takes several deep breaths, turning on his heel in a circle as he appears to count in his head.

Kageyama looks back to the ruined paper on the ground and grits his teeth, shame eating at his insides. He looks to the torn pages in his hand and unfurls his fist, eyes scanning what he had initially been presented with.

Are you going to stop stewing like a baby or are we going to actually do something to get on the team?

‘Baby’ and ‘do’ are underlined pointedly, but Kageyama’s gaze sets on another word.

We.

They have to be a team – Daichi hasn’t given them another option – and Kageyama currently wants to murder the one person keeping him from volleyball practise. But Hinata is all Kageyama has.

Kageyama looks back up to see that Hinata’s stopped spinning and is facing him with his eyes open and dead set on Kageyama’s face. That determination is back and more fervent than before and Kageyama realises that Hinata has probably faced more crap in his entire life than he’s been throwing at him for the past half an hour. And if he can face all that and still be as obnoxious as he is, then there can’t be much that will stop him.

Perhaps he’ll be the key.

Kageyama stuffs his hands in his pockets and squares his shoulders. “You barely got any skills to back yourself up,” he says, unable to quite dispel the gruffness of his tone. “So you’re going to have to put in a shit-ton of work if you’re going to help out.”

Hinata’s mouth pulls to the side and he nods once. He blazes and Kageyama suddenly finds him hard to look directly at.

The team pick up elements of sign language as they train more together.

Hinata sticks to the pad when he needs it, though it doesn’t come up in practise much; they all get by with mostly nodding as the second and third years give him tips. However, Sugawara approaches him early on and tentatively signs something, and everyone sees how Hinata’s eyes light up as he signs back, his movements as fast as his quick plays on the court. Sugawara rubs the back of his neck and confesses his understanding isn’t perfect, but Hinata doesn’t seem to care.

From that moment on, everyone begins to try and learn.

The court phrases come first: ‘nice receive’, ‘one more’, and variations of ‘all right’ or ‘well done’ get picked up quickly. Then the insults: Kageyama is pretty sure that the only thing Hinata bothered to sign to him for weeks has been ‘idiot’. Basic greetings and pleasantries become easy to understand given different contexts (and to whom Hinata extends those pleasantries to) – Kageyama doesn’t need anyone to tell him that Hinata is saying ‘please’ over and over again, begging to be tossed to. Tanaka asks to learn all the curses, but Daichi shuts it down immediately, though it doesn’t stop everyone from finding out a lot when Hinata gets in a fight with Tsukishima later that practise. The hand signals that Sugawara uses adjust slightly with Hinata’s help, and they add more, which helps broaden the conversation on court without giving away too much to the opposition.

Not everyone gets there immediately, but Hinata doesn’t have to rely too much on writing things down because there’s one person who just knows straightaway, and it’s both surprising and understandable that it’s Kageyama.

It’s not easy to tell if Kageyama knows exactly what Hinata’s signing, especially if it becomes long-winded or is simply too fast to comprehend, but his response always seems to be in the right vein. Most of the time, however, Hinata’s hands don’t even move and they still have a flowing conversation, though they still default to bickering most of the time. Daichi’s constant demands for the pair to stop arguing stops feeling oxymoronic very quickly.

What fascinates most of the team is that Kageyama, stubborn and bristly and headstrong as he is, never speaks for or over Hinata. He scolds him for missing his sets, he berates him for receiving poorly, and he fights with him more than anyone else, even Tsukishima, but he never interrupts him if he’s signing, waiting patiently to then yell and tell Hinata that he’s the idiot and his idea is stupid.

After two months, the notepad becomes obsolete in the gym.

The volleyball smacks the ground, each hand missing it as they dive to save it.

Aoba Johsai’s cheers continue to echo in Karasuno’s ears, even as they line up and shake their hands. They file out of the room and barely pass comment to each other as they individually begin to process their loss.

They aren’t going to Nationals.

The team step outside and go to the water fountain before being called back for a meeting, but two members linger back. Takeda notices that their first-year duo is absent and turns back to find them when he hears it: a strangled yell of frustration and anger.

Rounding the corner, the teacher’s eyes widen when he sees Hinata barrel into Kageyama, shoving him back with all his strength. The setter’s eyes are wide and he stumbles back with little resistance until the pair collapse, Hinata gripping the front of Kageyama’s shirt with his knees either side of his hips.

Hinata’s still yelling, his brow furrowed and eyes creased with emotion, chest heaving. With his free hand, he starts to sign and Takeda can’t really see what’s being said, but Kageyama’s features contorts with upset and a twinge of guilt. Water runs from the black strands down his face in a way that could make it look like he’s crying. Their breathing seems to sync up as they stare at each other – Kageyama reaches up to Hinata, his fingers trembling as they come up in between them.

A jolt passes through Takeda’s chest when he sees Kageyama form a sign.

“I’m sorry.”

A breath seems to catch in Hinata’s throat as he stares down at his teammate. His back begins to tense and his grip on Kageyama’s shirt tightens as he appears to prepare to start arguing again.

Takeda quickly steps forward and calls them back to the meeting, sharing what kind words he can muster whilst knowing that there’s nothing he can really say to alleviate the boys from their disappointment. They unravel from each other, standing slowly to follow him back to the rest of the team.

The teacher turns back to watch them trudge along – Kageyama’s hand has found its place on Hinata’s shoulder and is gripping onto it tightly.

“Do you really know what I’m saying all the time?”

Kageyama tilts his head as he walks alongside Hinata, his eyes always watching. Hinata looks a little awkward, his lips scrunched up and shoulders creeping up to his ears with an undetermined tension.

“Pretty much,” Kageyama says, shrugging. “You’ve never told me that I’ve gone wrong before – have I at some point today?”

“No, no!” His signs are almost forceful. “It’s just surprising that you know so much so quickly – Sugawara’s impressed because it’s still difficult for him. But you’re so good at it.”

Being complimented so directly by Hinata isn’t common, so it makes Kageyama’s face grow warm. “Why are you so surprised?” he asks.

“Because you’re so bad at anything that isn’t volleyball.”

Kageyama bristles, giving Hinata a pinch on the back of his neck, to which Hinata hits him back. “Idiot!” he barks, signing it himself to emphasise. “You’re just as bad as I am!”

“Get off, get off!” Hinata stumbles, almost knocking into his bike which Kageyama is pushing along with one hand. “It’s not a bad thing, but it’s weird because your English is terrible and I don’t get how you don’t seem to have a problem with sign language at all.”

“My English is just fine,” Kageyama says hotly. “I don’t know, sign language is visual, so maybe that’s why it’s easier.”

“It’s not just that though.”

Hinata’s face has screwed itself up again and for a second Kageyama considers that he may be constipated. He doesn’t push anything, continuing to walk along to the corner where they usually depart, and when they reach it he pauses, waiting for Hinata to ask for his bike back.

And eventually, Hinata looks away from the concrete back to Kageyama. “You know things that I’ve never taught you or the rest of the team. You get things that I’d never expect you to get. Sometimes I just throw stuff at you and you just know it, which is great, but…I just don’t understandt. Are you studying in your own time or something?”

For a second Kageyama blanches. He thinks about the books on his dresser being the only ones he’s bought and opened voluntarily in years; he thinks about the countless YouTube videos he’s watched when he gets home after school; but mostly, he thinks about all the time he spends watching Hinata. Not just his hands, but his facial expressions, his body language, the way he moves, the way he breathes.

He thinks about the way he feels about English classes and homework. He thinks about the way he’s always felt about volleyball. He thinks about Hinata.

His ears are too hot.

“I don’t know,” Kageyama eventually manages to say, but it’s not a real answer. “I’ve looked at some stuff, sure – I mean, it’s not fair on us having to read your crappy handwriting all the time, is it?”

Hinata pauses for a second, and then he laughs. It’s a lovely sound which is too rare in Kageyama’s opinion – that thought dissipates when he takes a light punch to the gut, letting out a grunt as Hinata smiles up at him. It’s blinding, as always.

“You’re funny, Bakayama. That wasn’t hard to admit, was it?” He takes his bike off Kageyama with an odd gentleness, swinging his leg over to perch on the seat. “And I’ve seen your handwriting – you can’t talk.”

“Ironic,” Kageyama says gruffly before pressing his lips together in shame.

Instead, Hinata laughs again. “Heard it before – get some new material.” His face settles into a soft smile, a smile that makes Kageyama’s knees go funny and tongue go dry. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Kageyama stands on that corner for a while after Hinata cycles away, staring up the hill. A dogwalker jumps when he suddenly crouches and screams into his hands.

Karasuno’s deviant duo are the standout of their team; they always find new ways to surprise people, be them spectators or their own team members.

So, it shocks everyone when they stop talking to each other altogether.

The tension from the practise match hadn’t gone unnoticed, but Tanaka didn’t expect to see Hinata and Kageyama fighting in a way that’s so unfamiliar to what the team are used to. He pulls Hinata back, yelling at them all the way, and Kageyama shouts something before storming out of the gym, spitting his words as he turns his back on them. Yachi whips her head to and from the door and Tanaka, eyes wide with panic and tears. Hinata is still tense in Tanaka’s grip, snarling as he continues to try and break away. “What the hell happened?” Tanaka keeps asking, but Yachi keeps whimpering and Hinata keeps struggling.

Daichi tries not to worry too much when he sees the pair practising on opposite sides of the gym in the morning, but when the silence continues, the concern grows. Sugawara understands without anything being said and follows Hinata out at the end of practise, catching him as he’s changing. Kageyama stalks past them without a word.

“Hinata,” Sugawara calls gently. “You okay to chat?”

Hinata turns with a reluctance, finishing the buttons on his uniform jacket. “What’s up?”

“You and Kageyama…are you two alright? Tanaka told us that you had an argument yesterday.”

“I don’t want to talk about him,” Hinata signs firmly, his expression hardening. “I’m sorry, but I’ve got somewhere to be.”

Sugawara gives him the most understanding smile he’s got, pushing down his own apprehension. “My, my, you’ve never been that eager to get to class before,” he laughs. “I’m almost proud – but you know you can talk to me or any of the others if you need to, okay?”

Hinata slings his bag over his shoulder and looks to him with a furrowed brow and downturned lips. Through the anger, there’s a touch of something underneath that pains Sugawara. “I know. I’ll see you later.”

“Will do!” As a last attempt, Sugawara places a hand on Hinata’s shoulder. “Whatever it is, it’ll blow over, I’m sure.”

The smile Hinata gives him makes Sugawara feel a little uncertain as he walks away.

Multiple practises pass and it’s the same thing. They’re the first in, doing their own warmups in their own corners; they do the drills and passes with their other teammates as normal, but never breathe a word to each other; and they never make eye contact, though they seem to keep missing each other’s stolen glances.

After their afternoon practise, Hinata flies out of the door immediately, a weird change of pace. Kageyama is always the last to leave, setting over and over and over again as Yachi watches. It’s strange – even in her limited time watching the team, she already knows how good Kageyama is at volleyball, setting especially. Truthfully, she’s not sure if he’s trying something different or doing what he usually does when Hinata isn’t there, but by the way Kageyama swears through his teeth when he misses the plastic bottles, Yachi slowly becomes positive that he’s trying regardless.

One day, she plucks up the courage to just ask.

“Kageyama?”

He looks up, still bent as he places the bottles on the line. “Hm?”

“Um – what exactly are you doing?”

Kageyama straightens, looking at her with his usual scary stiff expression. “I’m just trying something new,” he answers gruffly. “This type of set should make it easier for Hinata to hit.”

“Hinata? Just Hinata?”

He shrugs. “And others too – but it should be good for the fast attacks.”

“Right!” Yachi looks back to the line of bottles – and then she thinks of their shouts and shoves. “So…so why are you doing this without him?”

Kageyama stiffens slightly and Yachi immediately puts her hands up. “I’m sorry! Forgive me, that was insensitive. I didn’t mean to –”

“It’s fine.”

His tone indicates that it’s anything but fine, yet Yachi knows it’s not because of her. They start their usual routine: Yachi throws ball after ball and Kageyama sets one after the other; sometimes he’s successful, and sometimes he’s not. Yachi’s not always perfect, but he never gets angry at her – only at himself.

When they’re forced to stop by Takeda, Yachi and Kageyama are putting the balls away when Kageyama suddenly speaks.

“He was being stupid, but he was right.” Kageyama looks into the cart of volleyballs, mouth barely moving. “He deserves to fly on his own. But, right now, he can’t do that without me – or not with the method we’ve been using. He deserves that chance.”

Yachi swallows, staring up at him nervously. Kageyama doesn’t say much and never like that, but she believes every word. “You know, he’s practising too,” she says quietly. “He told me.”

Kageyama sighs and pushes the cart. “I know,” is his reply.

She doesn’t ask how.

Things stay mostly the same when they go to Tokyo for the training camp, and the team despair in silence as the pair start to play together in the practise matches but still keep their interactions minimal. But then, they get it.

Kageyama’s set syncs perfectly with Hinata’s hand and the ball slams down past their opponents, everyone’s eyes widening at the speed and sound. Karasuno cheer and then sigh with relief when Hinata bounds towards Kageyama with the biggest smile anyone had seen in weeks. Kageyama isn’t smiling, and they immediately begin to bicker again, but it’s been so long since they’ve done it that no one cares.

After all the matches are finished, the teams start their cooldowns and out of the corner of her eye, Yachi spots the pair – they’re standing opposite each other a little bit further away from the others. Hinata is signing and it surprises her to see that Kageyama is signing back rather than talking. Curiosity is a bit too overwhelming because she knows she should probably look away.

“Huh.” A voice behind her makes Yachi jump and she turns to see Tsukishima and Yamaguchi eyeing them as well.

“What?”

Yamaguchi smiles. “Never thought I’d see the day Kageyama apologise to someone.”

Yachi gasps. “He did?”

Surprisingly, Tsukishima chuckles, raising an eyebrow. “Not quite,” he says. “He stopped halfway.”

“What are they saying?”

Again, she’s surprised that Tsukishima responds. “Both kind of tried to apologise and backed down when they saw what was happening. Now they’re arguing about not needing to apologise.” He squints and then smirks. “Hinata just asked what Kageyama thought of his spikes – yeah, Kageyama’s not going to answer that.”

“I can’t believe you can keep up,” Yamaguchi mutters, his eyebrows knitted together. “It’s still a bit of a blur.”

“It bodes well for the future.” Tsukishima pauses and his eyes widen slightly. Yachi notices.

“What?”

He looks away and adjusts his glasses, mouth trembling as if he’s trying not to laugh. “What morons,” he says, mostly to himself, and goes back to stretching. Yachi turns to Yamaguchi, who is also struggling to control the curvature of his mouth and decides not to press further. Her gaze drifts back to the pair and, even across that distance, she can see the softness in Kageyama’s expression.

The bus journey home is quiet, most of the boys sleeping from the exhausting week. Hinata and Kageyama are sat on the same bench, a welcome sight. Ukai glances back and sees that Hinata has fallen asleep with his head on Kageyama’s shoulder; Kageyama’s eyelids are half-closed, chin touching the red hair.

Everyone has heard Hinata shout. Multiple times.

As his time on the team has gone on, Hinata has become less conscious of the noises that he makes. The grunts and groans when a ball smacks him in the face rather than his arms are plentiful; the laughter that rings out when a play goes particularly well is infectious; and the cheers when his teammates do well are incredibly encouraging. The only time people get lost is when Hinata tries to describe some court moves with his ridiculous onomatopoeias, but only other like-minded individuals (or ‘freaks’, as Tsukishima puts it) understand.

Hearing Hinata cry out triumphantly louder than anyone else when he scores the final point against Shiratorizawa, even louder than the third years, is the best sound in the world.

Hearing Hinata try to stifle his sobs as he pleads to Coach Ukai to keep playing through his fever is one the team hope never to hear again.

“So, what’s the deal with them?”

A group of the new first years stand and stare at the two arguing second years. It’s the end of practise and the awe they feel around the insane Karasuno duo isn’t exactly waning, but rather is now accompanied with…confusion.

Everyone is still adapting to the energy that comes with the addition of the young and the loss of the old, and it’s still not exactly smooth going. It also doesn’t help that in an instant, the scary setter and the boisterous spiker have gone from working in incredible sync to shouting at each other. Well, one is.

Some of them have seen their matches before and therefore have seen their petty squabbles and joyful interactions on the court, however seeing it up close only makes it all the more strange. A fully fledged conversation is happening and it’s no mystery as to what’s being talked about, which is both extraordinary and mildly dumbfounding.

At all three practises, something like this has happened – but then, they’ve also witnessed their incredible fast attacks, their early morning races to the gym, and their joint departure up the hill whilst the setter pushes the spiker’s bike so he can talk with ease.

It’s the only time when the setter doesn’t look so menacing.

One first year is brave enough to ask what everyone is thinking. It’s supposed to be just to the other first years, but the team’s libero bounds over.

“You’ll get used to it soon enough,” he says cheerily. “If it’s ever too out of hand, either the captain or the coach will tell them to stop.”

The first year flushes but presses anyway. “Yeah, but I mean…like, do they have a psychic connection or something? I mean, he’s not even signing right now.”

“They’re just on the same wavelength of stupid,” someone mutters behind them, and the group turn to see the blond middle blocker staring at the pair with a tired expression. The libero laughs.

Another first year cocks his head to the side when he sees the spiker grab onto the setter’s face and squish his cheeks together. The setter splutters but stops his tirade; his cheeks go bright red and his expression smooths out. The spiker smiles at him widely and goes to pick up a discarded volleyball.

“Weird,” he says to himself.

The setter suddenly looks over to the group and his eyes bore into his with such intensity that the first year wishes he could be swallowed whole.

“Kageyama!” the coach barks, making everyone jump. “Don’t look at people like that! I’m not having you scare off the newbies.”

The setter breaks eye contact and mutters an apology. The spiker karate chops him on the head.

That same first year wonders if they’re something else going on but knows better than to voice that thought aloud.

They’re constantly touching in one way or another.

Mostly, it’s through casual violence: punches, kicks, bouts of wrestling, and general roughhousing. Then there’s the congratulatory gestures: the high fives, the fist bumps, the pats on the back in group hugs.

And then there are the rarer instances of cautious affection.

Kageyama will touch the top of Hinata’s head, tousling his hair as he does. Hinata will interlock their fingers if they do a double high five, shaking their joint hands with glee. They’re glued to each other’s sides in timeouts, on the bus, during the end-of-day debriefs.

On and off court, their eyes find each other first. Every time.

And every time, it’s like Kageyama is a blind man getting his first look at the sun.

Hinata huffs and tugs on Kageyama’s sleeve. “I can cycle home in the rain – I do it all the time.”

Kageyama shakes his head, holding his umbrella over the two of them. “No way, I’m not having you come in tomorrow with a cold that will spread to the entire team and ruin the training week. It’ll clear up in a minute.”

He’s been saying that for fifteen minutes now, but Hinata doesn’t complain further for now, fingers still holding onto Kageyama’s jacket. His bike is propped up against a tree behind them and he keeps turning to check on it, despite not having seen any other people walk by in a while. They had been travelling back from Yamaguchi’s house after a mildly disastrous studying session, and whilst they are most likely in a better position than they had been the last year, the threat of failure and retaking tests hangs over the pair similarly to the dark clouds above them.

Another tug. “You’re being quiet.”

Kageyama glares at him. “I’m always quiet.”

“Yeah, but you’re being weirdly quiet.”

“So?”

Hinata looks at him with that annoying expression; eyes too wide, eyebrows raised too high, lips pressed together. Kageyama gives him a shove but Hinata grabs onto both of his wrists, getting up on his tiptoes and staring into his eyes. The umbrella wobbles dangerously and Kageyama just manages to hold on as his heart lurches at the proximity. A drop of water falls on the top of his head.

“What are you doing?” he manages to ask, voice higher than he wants it to be.

Hinata just stares at him, gaze flitting from side to side. It’s an irritating practise that he’s taken up because he knows that Kageyama loathes eye contact, and yet cannot draw away because he’s always watching him. Hinata lifts one hand and deliberately pokes his chest right over Kageyama’s heart; his eyes soften slightly.

Kageyama sighs heavily. “I…it’s just…” he struggles for another couple seconds. “I am…worried that we aren’t going to do well at the Spring Tournament.”

A beat. And then Hinata pulls his grip away, a laugh barking out from his lips. “Oh, come on! That’s not like you at all.” He pauses and looks away for a second. “Why are you worried?” he then asks, calmer than before.

“I don’t know.”

Unsatisfied, Hinata pokes Kageyama’s chest again. Kageyama tries to glare again, but the effect is lost because it dissolves underneath Hinata’s probing stare.

“I don’t know,” he says again, weakier this time. “Can’t help it – it’s Nishinoya, Ennoshita, and Tanaka’s last chance. And with what happened at the last tournament…I know we’re better than we were then, but it’s so easily lost. So…yeah.”

Kageyama had started mumbling halfway through, but he knows he’s been heard. His eyes train back to Hinata because he always looks, never wanting to miss anything he may say to him. Hinata looks thoughtful, pursing his lips as he rocks back on his heels. And then –

“You’re such a moron, you know.”

Kageyama blinks before grabbing onto the top of Hinata’s head. “You’re the moron!” he retorts, tugging on some of the strands.

Hinata bats him off casually. “Of all people, you’re the last who needs to worry about the tournament,” he signs, shaking his head. “I mean, come on – it’s you! Also, it’s not that it’s easy to lose, it’s just that everyone so badly wants to win. We’ve won before and we’ll win again – even then, it’s just that the other team will win first. But we won’t let that happen – we’ll win.”

Kageyama’s mouth twitches: his hand doesn’t move. Hinata beams up at him.

“I mean, you’ve still got me, haven’t you? So, what do you have to worry about?”

And he does. Because ever since that first day they laid eyes on each other in the gym, he has had Hinata and Hinata has had him, and Kageyama never thought that he would have anyone like him.

Everything’s very hot and Kageyama feels his throat clamp shut against his will – not like he knows what he could say to that anyway. So, he doesn’t talk and takes away his hand from his hair.

“I know.”

Hinata smiles that soft smile he does whenever Kageyama chooses to sign rather than speak. He’s never asked Kageyama why he does it because he doesn’t have to. “Good.”

“Hinata…”

Kageyama’s voice is quiet; apprehensive. His gaze shifts from the floor to Hinata.

A quizzical brow. Mouth slightly turned up at the corners. Those blazing eyes.

The umbrella collapses onto the ground and starts to bounce away, but Kageyama doesn’t care because his hands are on Hinata’s cheeks and he’s kissing Hinata and he hears Hinata make a sound of surprise and relief as he kisses him back, lips clumsy and enthusiastic against Kageyama’s too-stiff mouth, arms flinging around his neck.

Kageyama knows in that instant that he loves all of Hinata’s sounds, that the one’s he’s making now are his new favourites, and that he so badly wants to learn them all.

And he will because Hinata is made for him.

Because they are made for each other.

The duo carry on as normal. No one notices a difference because there really isn’t one – they’re as synchronised and bizarre as usual.

It’s not until Karasuno win the match that will send them to the semifinals at Nationals in their third year, when Hinata jumps straight into Kageyama’s arms and Kageyama presses his face into his neck mumbling words that are Hinata’s alone, does the held breath let out. No one is surprised.

#kagehina #kageyama x hinata #kageyama tobio #hinata shouyou #hinakage #shobio #kagehina fluff

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lomlhwa · 1 year

Text

friends? lovers? (k.sw)

pairing: childhood bff!sunwoo x childhood bff!reader

preview: you lose contact with your best friend since birth. 5 years later, you're reunited. will your feelings for each other reignite at this sudden meeting?

tags/warnings: virgin fem reader, sprinkle of angst, lots and lots of praise, implied big dick!sunwoo, eye contact, lipstick stains everywhere, loss of reader's virginity, body worship, marking, hair pulling, hand holding, reader and sunwoo are IN LOVE, so many love confessions and "i love you"s, even more "i missed you"s, mutual pining, unprotected penetration (wrap it before you tap it), creampie

trigger warnings: n/a

wc: 2.5k

song recs for this fic: style by taylor swift, reveal by the boyz, god damn by i.m, libidO by onlyoneof

a/n: this was requested by @kswneoguri <3. i hope this is what you were asking for, thank you for requesting!!

from the moment the doctors handed you to your mother, she had decided that sunwoo would be your best friend for life. she was pretty desperate to make sure he was your soulmate.

honestly, you firmly believe that she manifested it into the world. you’ve been two peas in a pod since before you could walk. you would throw fits when you weren’t in the same class, couldn’t sit next to each other, or if you had to be apart for more than a day.

is that healthy? some professionals would say no. but it elated your mother. you managed to always avoid meltdowns because you would see sunwoo so often. having mothers who are also besties really helped the strength of your bond.

now, the real problems hit when your father decided to send you to an all-girls high school. this meant no more seeing sunwoo everyday. this meant you had a meltdown on the first day of grade 9.

sunwoo had been your only friend for your entire life. no one ever dared get between the two of you. and now, there’s an entire school system between you.

you walked into that school scared and alone. you sat by yourself in the back of all your classes. you scrolled on your phone, read books and just did your work as instructed.

now for the real icing on the cake, sunwoo moved cities away. 6 hours of distance and different school boards between you. you’d lost touch more than ever. honestly, you can’t even remember the last time you got to see him face-to-face.

you ended up going through the entirety of high school without seeing sunwoo once. after two years of being apart, he’d even stopped answering your phone calls. your mothers even stopped speaking to each other.

you had lost contact with your soulmate.

now, here you are, in the middle of university getting your degree. you’ve done nothing but work, work, work since you got to uni. what else are you supposed to do when your closest friend hasn’t connected with you in almost 5 years.

due to the fact that you’re the most antisocial person in existence, you’ve kept up good grades. great, even. you could very well make the honor roll.

your professors love you, other students pretty much ignore you, but other than that you’re pretty happy.

you do have one friend. one single friend. layla is the nicest person you’ve met in a long time. she’s no sunwoo, but she’s the closest you’ll probably ever get. she’s your best friend. the replacement pea in your pod.

tonight, she’s trying to convince you to go clubbing. something you rarely do. her reasoning? “y/n, you need to get out there and get yourself some play,” layla stomps around your room for the millionth time. you don’t really need to get laid. you’re perfectly fine as you are. a virgin.

“i don’t need ‘play’, i need to study,” you shake your laptop at your best friend. she walks over and takes your computer out of your hands. she tosses it onto your bed, making sure it lands carefully on the mattress.

“just tonight. lets go get hammered and hook up with a hot guy,” she nudges your head with her elbow. she knows you’re a virgin and wants you to get over your fear. she, of all people, knows how sex works.

you know you won’t win arguing against her. “fine, only tonight,” she squeals and grabs your hand. she’s going to make you look as slutty as possible. anything to get you laid.

she digs through your wardrobe and pulls out a silver, shiny, wrap shirt. accentuating your breasts and making them look supple. she pairs it with a tiny, tight, black skirt. your ass looks bigger and grabbable.

she plants you down on a chair and beats your face with makeup. you look almost runway ready. you’re definitely club ready, that’s for sure.

“oh my god, y/n. you look amazing,” she claps, patting herself on the back for her good work getting you dressed. “if you don’t leave with a hot guy, i will lose my mind.”

as soon as you enter the club, your ears are filled with bass boosted music. layla immediately drags you to the bar. she orders a set of shots and you down 3 like water.

she pushes you to the dance floor with mumbles of “i’m right behind you” and “i swear i won’t abandon you.” then, she abandons you for a hot guy already into her.

you hover around by yourself, swaying to the music. you get used to being surrounded by people but having no one pay any real attention to you. a few fleeting glances and a whistle or two. but no one is fully interested in you.

and then, you bump into someone. hard enough for you to almost topple over. but, you catch yourself.

you spin around to apologize but instead, you freeze in shock. the tall man you managed to knock into is the man you’d been longing for for half a decade. your breath gets caught in your throat and you almost feel like you might vomit.

“sunwoo,” you finally breathe. you swear you can see that his eyes are watering despite the dim lighting. the loud boom of the music has become nothing but a faint rumble in the back of your head.

“i can’t believe you’re here,” he wraps himself around you and takes in your scent. he basks in your long lost presence. he thinks that if he lets go of you, he’ll lose you again. but, he releases you from his arms to take in your appearance.

you definitely had not dressed for reuniting with your childhood soulmate. you were more dressed to unite with a guy who wanted nothing to do with you after the alcohol wore off.

“you wanna get out of here?” he asks and you nod. catching up with your old friend would be kind of difficult in a club. he takes you by the hand and walks out of the club. you take a deep breath of the cool midnight air.

“how’ve you been, y/n?” he finally asks. you shrug. “fine, i guess. just, doing a lot of school,” you explain. your life had been pretty uneventful. being friendless for a handful of years meant that you had no reason for an eventful life.

“oh. well, i’m pretty much the same,” he trails off, staring off into the sky. “did you miss me?”

did. you. miss. him? how could he ask you that? how could he not know the torment that your heart went through when he left? “of course i missed you,” you scoff. “i just about lost my mind when you stopped calling.” he shakes his head and sighs. he wants to have a good explanation as to why he stopped contacting you. but, he really didn’t have one.

“i’m sorry,” he mumbles. sorry doesn’t cut it for you. “sorry? you’re “sorry”?” you use air quotes to emphasize your sarcasm. he bites his bottom lip as it quivers.

“sorry doesn’t cut it for being abandoned by the person who was raised to be my best friend. sorry doesn’t make up for the 5 years i spent wondering what i did to push you away,” your eyes begin to water. he hurt you more than he would ever be able to understand.

he reaches out to hold your face in his hands. he rubs your cheek with the pad of his thumb, looking at you with sad eyes. “my precious y/n,” he presses his lips together in a thin line. your heart races and blood rushes to your cheeks.

“i stopped talking to you because i was so in love with you that the distance was starting to physically hurt me,” he sniffles and turns his head to wipe his nose on his shirt sleeve. tears finally spill out of his eyes. he missed you so much and now he’s professing his love to you.

“i loved you too. i still do. with every beat of my fragile heart, it calls for you,” you take your own hands and wrap them around his wrists. you look up at his with glassy, tear stained eyes and he loses it.

he presses his plump lips to yours and sighs. he’d wanted to do this since before he moved. and now here he is, kissing his childhood crush outside a nightclub. the wetness of fresh tears hit your face. he’s full on crying now.

“y/n, i’m so sorry i left you. please, let me make it up to you,” he presses his forehead to yours. you nod. “make it up to me, sunwoo.” he pulls his phone out and books an uber to pick you up and take you to his apartment.

as soon as the car pulls up to his building, he's dragging you inside and up the stairs. his hand never leaves yours. he fumbles with his keys to unlock his door, almost dropping them a few times.

he finally manages to open his front door, scurrying into his home. as soon as the door is locked and your shoes are settled at the front mat, his lips are on yours.

his hands travel to your back, his fingertips pressing under your shirt. he draws gentle circles along the bare strip of exposed skin. you break your kiss momentarily with a gasp.

"jump y/n," he mumbles against your mouth. you hop and he catches you in his muscular arms. wrapping your legs around his waist, you deepen the kiss.

he walks carefully down the dark hallway to his bedroom. you disconnect your lips and reconnect them to his neck. you leave bright red lipstick marks on his supple skin; a lustful piece of artwork.

he kicks his door open and drops you on his bed. he runs his hand through his hair and studies your disheveled figure. your shirt has begun to ride up on your torso, just past your navel. your skirt flipped up when he plopped you down on the mattress.

lord knows that if he hadn’t been in love with you before, he would be now.

he tugs his shirt over his head before pouncing on you, nipping and sucking on your bottom lip. when he pulls away to look into your hooded eyes, you really notice just how much of your lipstick covered his face.

he slides his hands under your shirt and you lift up at the waist to help him remove it fully. he sets it down on the floor next to his nightstand. his hands glide over your breasts, pressing them together, admiring your cleavage in his palms.

“s-sunwoo,” you whimper. he looks up at you and hums. “i’ve n-never done this before.” your words are barely above a whisper. your anxiety takes you over as soon as the sentence leaves your mouth.

his eyes immediately shift to worry. “do you want to do this?” his hands trail away from your chest, but you catch them and bring them back up. you trust him despite the years of distance and longing.

“yes. please, take me,” you grab his face and kiss him again. his hands make their way to your waist, gripping you tightly as if you might run away. you momentarily worry he’ll leave bruises; but you come to the conclusion that that would be okay.

your own hands travel to his jeans, fumbling with the button and zipper. he chuckles against your lips, finding your difficulty with his clothes to be endearing. he shoos your hands away and rakes charge, taking his pants off himself.

he looks into your eyes again for permission to remove your skirt and you nod. you lift your lower half off the bed for easy removal. “i love you so much,” he sighs, smiling like a maniac.

he kisses you up and down. the remainder of the lipstick on his face ends up on your own skin. kiss marks and love bites litter your exposed skin. he kisses up your arms, down your torso paying special attention to your stomach, and ends his kisses on the insides of your thighs.

as much as he’d like to taste you, or even do everything under the sun, he thinks he might explode if he can’t get inside of you soon. he presses your thighs apart before settling between them.

he hooks his fingers under the waistband of your underwear and tugs them down your legs. he pulls his own underwear off and hovers over you. he doesn’t give you a chance to see his size out of fear that you’ll chicken out.

“are you ready, my precious y/n?” his voice is soft and comforting. your nerves immediately relax. you nod your head, shuffling around trying to get some sort of friction. he groans lowly, his head hanging low.

"i've never been more ready for anything," your voice is breathy and on the verge of cracking. your eyes are half closed and you’re hazily grinding on him. you almost feel barely conscious but your senses are on overdrive.

he reaches down to align his rock hard cock with your entrance, biting into his lip to suppress a moan. he slides into you slowly, inch by inch, until he’s sheathed into you completely. he traps you between his arms, his hands on either side of your head. you reach up and slide your hands under his, intertwining your fingers tightly.

“i love you,” you whisper. your lip quivers as he begins to move, the stretch stinging just enough to bring tears to your eyes. “i love you so much, sunwoo,” you say again. you squeeze his hands, digging your fingernails into the tops of his hands.

“i love you too, y/n. i’ve missed you so much, fuck,” he leans down to kiss you harshly. your tongues clash in a spitty, slobbery fight for dominance. you lose inevitably and he sucks on the end of your tongue. his merciless pace inside you has you inching closer and closer to your release.

“i’m gonna cum, please, sunwoo. don’t stop,” you grip his hands tighter and arch your back just a little. this slight change in your position makes him reach just that little bit further into you. you snap almost instantly, clamping down on him.

your breath gets caught in your throat, your eyes roll back and your hands go slack in sunwoo’s. he few more thrusts and his hips are stuttering. “where do you want it?” he pants into your ear as you twitch under him. “i-inside, please sunwoo,” you gasp.

two more pathetic thrusts and he’s pumping into you. he stays bottomed out in you while he shoots 3 ropes of cum into you. he rubs his thumb on one of your hands, soothing you. he licks a bead of sweat off your forehead.

“i love you and i missed you,” you say for the millionth time. he smiles and kisses your cheek.

“i love you more.”

#lomlhwa #the boyz #tbz #sunwoo #kim sunwoo #the boyz smut #tbz smut #sunwoo smut #kim sunwoo smut

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