#i mean there's a lot of family issues rn which is something else

[justablah56]

starting off by saying @cagey-gaymer here it is .

OKAY so . idk if I've made an actual post abt this so I'm making one . if I've made one before congrats , you all get TWO aro Daryl rants <3

yes folks , you read that right ! an aro Daryl rant !! now . I know I've vaguely mentioned my arospec Daryl hc a few times , but today I'm going to actually talk abt it :3

SO to get into the specifics, i think Daryl is romance positive greyromantic, I think he doesn't feel it super often but hes not at all against the idea of being with someone who he doesnt "actually love" . I don't think he realizes this for . a while . like . *a while* . if at all . i think his marriage with Carol is an *excellent* example of this . I think yeah Daryl cares about her a lot , whenever he talks about her he talks about her as his best friend, which is a great relationship to have with your spouse , but I don't think Daryl realizes that there's supposed to be more . also the fact that they got together so early in their lives and Daryl never like . wanted anything more than that . he was totally fine and ok just staying in a relationship with his highschool sweetheart and never wanted to experience really dating people or any of that stuff , bcs he 👏 is 👏 arospec 👏

he doesn't realize that his strong platonic feelings aren't the same as romantic feelings . he doesn't have a lot of other adults that he's close with , he doesn't have a lot of *friends* for him to realize that *that's* what Carol is to him . he knows what love is "supposed" to look like and as far as he's aware he's checking all the boxes , he is going to get a good grade in Husbanding , something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve. he's trying so hard to fit the mold of what he thinks men are supposed to be and doesn't try to really question if that's really what he wants .

I think maybe him and Henry talk about this at some point , that being the start of Daryls identity crisis . maybe he's talking about how he feels about Carol to Henry and Henry's like hmm . Daryl do you know what the term aromantic means ? and they have a loooong discussion about it . anyways my brain is running with this now but that's not what I'm going to chase rn .

the point is . that Daryl didn't realize there were any issues in him and Carol's relationship bcs from the outside , they look fine . they look like a normal couple in a normal family , and if they're *normal* then it must mean they're doing it right . his relationship with his wife *appears* as Daryl believes romantic relationships should , so obviously there aren't any pressing issues . why could Carol possibly be upset ? he was doing it all right ? and he doesn't realize that he's just . not the same as she is . he loves her , she's his best friend , and to him that's a romantic relationship right ? so he never tried to look for anything else and never looked for the *problems* that existed in their relationship bcs hey he still loves her as his best friend , so we're still good , right ?

anyways . aro Daryl . I feel like I kinda talked in circles here a bit , but oh well . just . consider for me . aro Daryl . he is so important to me .

#just blahs #hes so important to me #aro daryl <33333333 #dndads #dndaddies #dungeons and daddies #daryl wilson

[muninnhuginn]

For the character ask meme, Anya from spy x family? :0

hi! thanks for the ask ^^. weirdly, I think anya's probably the spy x family main I've thought about the least? there's plenty to her so idk why I've not thought through her entire deal more, maybe just because the child experimentation angle will be grim and we're lacking so many pieces of her backstory rn. but even with that, there's plenty there. so anyway, good choice is what I'm saying. this gives me an excuse to not get distracted by loid and yo--

anyway anyway, answers below cut because this got long:

My first impression

This is gonna sound bad considering I only got into the series when the anime started coming out which is fairly recent all considered, but I genuinely don't remember? I'd probably seen memes involving her before I actually started the anime or manga, but for the life of me, I couldn't remember what they involved.

My impression now

She's young and that colours pretty much all of her actions. But it also means she has a huge capacity for growth and allows her to create that change in others too (the obvious one being Loid but you see it with others too). And Spy x Family may be a slow-burn but we're starting to get some of that pay off in terms of character development.

Hmm, what else, I guess she's pretty determined. Thinking of that post about how "Anya would be unstoppable if not for the small fact that she's five". So yeah, her logic is questionable at times (most of the time) and she's got abandonment issues and she's hindered by her age. But she's found a family now and it's clear she wants to keep them and wants them to keep her too.

Favorite thing about that character

I think the aspects that cause Anya the most trouble are those which she hasn't shared with anyone. Her powers, her background in general, her age. They're all tied together and her fear of abandonment (likely exacerbated by her foster families) prevents her from seeking help when they cause her issues. Loid knows pieces, but he's missing some really key bits of information and he has no idea. So it's neat that this character who arguably holds the most knowledge about other people's secrets cannot share her own.

Least favorite thing

I really don't like to think about some of the stuff that if you follow logic Anya must have been exposed to through her powers. There's some aspect of her not being able to comprehend all thoughts, but I imagine there's a lot that gets through which is just, quite frankly horrific.

There's that scene fairly early on where Loid and Anya come across a rally and there's some pretty yikes stuff being thought by those attending. In that scene, the focus is more on how crowds tend to overwhelm her given her powers, but between that and whatever's going on with Melinda, well, it's pretty clear she can and will hear things that would be uncomfortable for *anyone* to hear, never mind someone not even six years old.

Favorite line/scene

Maybe Ania mini-chapter. What does it all mean?

Favorite interaction that character has with another

Loid-Anya cruise subplot. She's not lost the abandonment issues, but she sure has Loid wrapped around her finger and takes full advantage of it. She's just trying to help Yor, but she's making Loid completely suffer for it and it is hilarious.

A character that I wish that character would interact with more

Handler. They've had a couple of interactions in canon and Anya reminds her of her own daughter which is already such a dynamic to start with. Anya seems to like Handler too. It's a mutually healing relationship, but also funny to consider them both driving Loid up the wall with stress.

Another character from another fandom that reminds me of that character

Maybe Steven Universe? Something about kids with atypical family setups who are too young to be involved in this stuff getting involved regardless and setting themselves up for trauma down the line. Wanting to save the world, but not yet understanding what that entails. Their powers being tied to something beyond their control; something that will absolutely come back to bite them.

In terms of personality though? I'm kind of blanking.

A song that reminds of that character

(Might have to follow it through to Youtube to get the subtitles to work)

This is one of those where it's more the vibes than the exact story, but I think the whole 'family to family until you find a home' and 'seems cheery but actually quite sad' and some of the stuff around 'helping' all fit in a way.

An unpopular opinion about that character/A headcanon about that character

(Merged this with 'headcanon' because I realised my read of the situation here could fit that and I blanked on *actual* headcanons but they'd probably mostly revolve around sensory overload from her powers so)

Not sure how unpopular this opinion actually is, because I don't tend to lurk in those places, but I genuinely don't think Anya at this stage is "into" Damian in any way. And though I doubt it'll pan out that way, I would very much prefer if she stays uninterested in him in that way? I do think it'd be neat to explore the fallout when Damian realises she was trying to befriend him for his connections given that's already been brought up as something that'd upset him. But I'd rather their dynamic lead to genuine friendship rather than romance. For now, Damian's crush and Anya's awkward overtures as she tries to progress the mission do entertain me, as do the small moments where they interact genuinely. But I just find the idea of a crush when they're that young actually working out to be... well, pretty unbelievable?

Favourite picture

Ahh don't make me pick. She has too many good faces I'm not sure how I could narrow it down. I'll just go for.... her "heh" face, but genuinely way too much choice. (Also, there are some more serious options like when she realises Loid's reason for coming to rescue her in ep/ch1 or her reaction about the whole "Ania" spelling. But again, can't pick)

#asks #ask meme #roseofcards90 #sxf manga spoilers #(minor and mostly kept to references rather than fully explaining them but tagging just in case) #spy x family

[mihai-florescu]

enstars analyses uhmmm i think we should spend more time talking about what dreams mean to characters ^^ it is In The Name. but i mostly think about how ritsu's issues with emotional dependency and wilfulness, all this stuff where he plays up his emotionality (??) are both result of and like an.. acting out of ... trauma from being u know. a chronically ill kid. with an absent family? and literally like two people who would visit him? and the isolation he would understandably feel; and the dependence he would have on those only points of connection--and he can't control those--i think it's interesting and i love ritsu. it's like, sometimes he acts like he chose to be how he is but a lot of it is out of his hands. hi i hope the rest of ur day goes well :>

Disclaimer post writing an answer, my mind drifted away while writing and i ended up just kinda Pondering and Rambling. Im sorry if it seems a bit scattered and all over the place, that's my mind rn. Ok, let's see what i actually said now.

Sometimes i think about how the war wouldnt have played out the same had rei never left ritsu to try to find doctors and cures for him (which led to breaking the promise of staying with ritsu that ultimately changed everything in their relationship forever). I wonder if rei would have ever even been in the cemetary and met keito had he just stayed to take care of ritsu. I also wonder if keito and rei would ever bond about having someone dear to them be sick. And had rei stayed, ritsu wouldnt have been upset and willing to give eichi advice on how to take him down. Would there had even been a war if Keito hadnt met Rei, or if the student council hadnt figured out how to send rei away. Would rei even be a protagonist if he hadnt left ritsu, if he had just stayed home in obscurity as well (i dont think so, and the story is built on the existence of these extraordinary characters, by the characters who arent, but are willing to make their way into the narrative nevertheless and achieve their dreams) One action's ripple effects etcetc.

Sorry i realise this was got way off topic from your original ask. I think i will continue to be off topic because i cant stop the train of thought ive embarked upon at this tardy post midnight time. I think eichi and ritsu are an underrated duo... they helped each other take steps towards their dreams afterall. During checkmate eichi giving a harsh wakeup call to ritsu in regard to being in his brother's shadow unless he does something himself to prove he's alive (top 10 eichi mean moments where he's also projecting onto the other person his own issues... not that he was wrong, but still). And in black tea, ritsu advising eichi on the war preparations during tea club (a serene setting in what was otherwise a hellish place, a piece of an everyday normal students life, which eichi craved so much his whole life. And ritsu also needed the club, interacting with new people, let alone another chronically ill kid).

Im thinking about your last sentence and how ritsu clung to the vampire persona the family adopted, the way to cope with the hereditary disability. As opposed to rei who changed his persona and struggled with the way he was perceived as a monster, when he was a human just as much as everyone else and tried to ignore his disability even? I dont think ignore is the best word. Downplay. It was always the acknowledgement that ritsu had it worse, despite the fact that rei also had it, he was looking for a cure for ritsu instead. First instance and development of his habit of helping people when they dont necessarily even ask for it. But yes anyway millions of tangents aside, ritsu clinging on to the vampire persona tighter and more consistently in his character, as a coping mechanism with a condition he didnt ask for, that is outside his hands. The one thing that was in his power was choosing to play into the vampire persona.

I havent even touched on mao... to be fair i dont think im the most qualified person to speak on him, or his relationship with ritsu. I am still figuring out my thoughts on them. Im glad they grew to find their own dreams in yumenosaki (heh), in the same realm, but not tied to each other where it gets suffocating.

I wouldnt call anything i said analysis as i wouldve probably ordered things better and had, well, an actual point, but i hope my stream of conciousness was as fun for you to read as it was for me to just think and type

#ask #skalidris

[quirkle2]

listen. i am here to listen about your au, please tell me more about the suncaster au. people will happily listen!

i am one of said people!

AAA CRIES . hmmmmmm i don't know what exactly to talk abt so im prolly just gonna word-vomit all over this post im so sorry

i rly like exploring their characterizations and they're the easiest for me to explain so let's start w that i guess. one of my fav things to think about is fig and it not quite being the hero that follows fantasy/fairytale standards

to sum it up, what i mean by that is, if he were put in a position to either a) save its boys, or b) save literally everybody else on the planet, he'd choose his boys. it's not going to sacrifice what it loves the most (and people that do not deserve that fate) for "the greater good." it knows that is selfish, and it knows that a lot of people would probably scowl at him if they were told his opinion on it, and sometimes even he is a little disgusted with his stance, but it stands firm in it

it knows it deserves better. he has already sacrificed enough—more than most people ever sacrifice in a lifetime. if the gods asked it to do it again, it would refuse. not his family. ganon can swallow the entire world up in its gullet if it wants to—as long as it means it does Not touch his boys

the meaning of "hero" gets a little bent after a hero is willing to do something like that, but that term no longer means very much to fig

hmmmmmm what else,,, i guess i could talk abt their dark world forms and how they work ? im thinking that briar is the only one of them that can willingly change between forms with an item—he has his shadow crystal, and the others have to use that to shift to their dw form. to switch out, they have to touch the master sword (or use a moon pearl)

usually that's not an issue for them bc their animal forms have bags n shit to carry that stuff, but for the smaller ones like wars and legend, it becomes a bit of an issue ? a little ferret cannot carry a sword. usually though, he simply sticks to the larger of the crew, who carry his sword for him

they each have abilities in their dw forms! wars' ability is to see through stuff (kinda based off the fact that ferrets like to burrow underground). lumen's (which i might add to) is the ability to freely mimic Any sound he has ever heard perfectly, regardless of whether or not her body would be able to produce that sound normally. briar's, which i think is prolly the coolest, is to sink in with the shadows and disappear. think how u can disappear into the ink in splatoon! he excels in combat in darker places

haven't thought of good powers for legend or fig yet. i have some ideas for fig, but we'll see :]

that's all i can think of rn but !! always happy to answer asks abt em eeee :)

#qktalks #autumnalchemist #suncaster au #suncaster effigy

[overheaven]

hmm so dr appt about chronic pain was (unsurprisingly) vague but that’s to be expected since it’s the first time i’m bringing these issues up. gonna have to get more bloodwork done.

everything all checked out w/ my thyroid and metabolic stuff like. my provider was even like “on paper everything is perfect” but she took a lot of time to talk about stuff that might not be easy to pinpoint too. i was suggested to do some research about the connection between trauma+chronic pain, which i think is absolutely valid but also a little disappointing because it’s like wow thanks as if the trauma isn’t pervasive enough, it also literally ruined my body on a cellular level?

but at the end i described my pain as feeling deep and bruising and my provider suggested looking into fibromyalgia too… which i’m like 99% certain is in my family (just can’t confirm if they’ve ever gotten diagnosed or who it exactly was—my mom or my grandma—or other medical history because i’m no-contact w/ my family).

something i neglected to say because it’s one of those things that you’re like “oh that’s NOT normal?” and i didn’t think of it til i had to start moving again is my bad balance, head rushes, vertigo etc. i’ve never fainted as far as i can remember and i always have good blood pressure when they take my vitals so idk. maybe that’s not indicative of a larger issue but it’s like. y’know they’re not monitoring my blood pressure when i’m moving or standing or sitting and they can’t see how my head gets foggy & twinge-y when i stand too fast or if i’m tired or w/e. i got a lingering head ouchie & hot flash because of stretching rn. buh. does anyone else’s ears ring when they get a head rush? cause i get a really lowkey small ring that almost feels like it’s connected right into my brain, like it doesn’t block out other sounds but it’s there humming at a high frequency. what’s that about. is that normal?

i’ve just got all these little things that i really really really hope aren’t just “yeah sorry you’re traumatized which means your body sucks. try not to be stressed and exercise more.” maybe that’s true! and i know diagnoses aren’t some magic thing or whatever i know i know but it’s just. i can’t describe it as anything other than tragic if somehow i didn’t have something Formally Medically Wrong with me. like if that’s the case then that means my mom gets to have the validity of arthritis and all of her other diagnoses while i’m sitting here in pain that is always going to be vague, pervasive, and unpredictable because she fucked up my brain. and that hurts. i’m still playing catch-up about all the stuff my parents ignored and neglected when they should have been helping and protecting me. i’m mad about it.

#pangs complains #trauma #chronic pain #<- just for blog organization

[kulekrizpy]

my friend/ex was really upset yesterday. his body is all messed up from various injuries, he needs dental work. i told him to call out of work bc he wasn’t going to get any sleep before his shift

he moved near his hometown with some planning but not a lot. he wants to go to school. but he won’t have in-state tuition since he was living in my state prior to moving. he works really hard at work but it’s physical labor and it only makes his health issues worse. he also doesn’t want to move up to a less labor-intensive position :/ he honestly needs to take medical leave

and he’s upset with my brother for various reasons, but last night he was drinking and it all came out and he messaged my brother and my mother about how upset he was about my brother breaking something of mine and not paying in full to replace it. he’s struggling with money on his own and he resents my brother for having a cushy job that he complains about and flouts authority on. in many ways my brother IS entitled and probably WOULD benefit from being punched in the face at least once for his shitty political views, especially bc my ex is genderqueer. but he has definitely not spoken frankly about it with my brother

speaking of which, now he’s in a less accepting place and tho he “toned down the queer” he still gets looks from ppl and it’s stressing him out a lot. he worries about going thru backroads in case his car breaks down and someone kills him

all his friends from back home are druggies or complete deadbeats or both and he’s had a falling out with everyone since he moved. he’s also worried one of his older friends won’t live beyond this year. so now all the friends he does rely on are in my area and not his and he’s very lonely and isolated. and that also means i’m his best friend rn, which he’s told me several times

a week or so ago he wanted to make a risky and illegal change in career and after i told him i wouldn’t have been friends with him anymore if he decided to do it, he told me he still wants to fuck me. when i told him i can’t be casual with him anymore so don’t say that, he said he didn’t say it properly and that he meant he wants to be with me, eventually. and it’s just a whole fucking thing. he can’t even articulate what he wants. i told him not to mention it again unless he was sure and confident he could actually be a good partner to me. and i told him i need time to get over him too

and last night, we were chatting and i realized he’d been drinking, and he’s in a negative spiral/combative. he messaged my family. i told him he should wait til the morning and he did it anyway. at that point i said whatever. the call dragged on for hours tho he needed to sleep for work. he was in such a state i didn’t feel comfortable getting off the phone with him in case he did something very risky, like driving drunk or idk what else. he talked about wanting to lay down on some train tracks…

AND he called me again at work the other day. like. on the work phone. he used to work there but it’s just… not professional. feels weird. esp bc he was doing it cuz he was drunk. told him to text or call my phone next time

he gets drunk and disregards boundaries. bc he also mentioned the dating thing last night while we were talking. and when i told him not to he sidestepped and kept going on about whatever rant. and he just argues abt everything when he’s drunk. DUMB shit. like me taking my bike apart to store it easier. like bruh leave me alone ??

in the end he called out of work, then talked to his sister and i guess she convinced him to drive up instead of doing something dumber. i asked if he was sober enough and he said yeah. which he would’ve said no matter what i’m sure :|

so. he got to his family’s place and i guess i’ll see him today sometime. i told him i don’t want to drink and my brother doesn’t wanna drink with him either, so we’ll avoid that at our house at least

he’s trying, but he’s also falling back on stupid habits. i just hope he can figure out how to get the help he needs

and i need to figure out how to keep my boundaries

the cats woke me up earlier. i need to sleep more before i see him. good night

#suicide m // #personal

[girlwithwolftatoo]

hello!

i just saw that you take requests! (And I hope they are open rn lmao)

I don't really know a lot of people who write for Arthur so im very happy rn!

So could I please request an Arthur Harrow x Female Reader?

I just thought about an fluff / angst fic which the reader tells arthur that she got daddy issues and she's afraid bc a lot of people made fun of her about it and in the end she just wants a person that is like a 'caregiver' to her?

I'm not an expert in explaining things so I hope you understand what I mean.

I just think that the whole 'Daddy Issues' thing is way more than a lot of people think.

And i just felt insecured about it bc people made a lot of fun about me sooo i would be happy with some arthur who is comforting :)

I hope you are okay with writing something like that and If not, im really sorry for the ask :/

Hope u have a great day tho!

Soooo here it is! Ended up being a little longer than expected but I think we needed some good context for this one.

Where is the shepherd for this lost lamb?

Warnings: family ab*use, viol*ence.

It was customary that when a member of the community was marked with the scales, a small celebration was held in their honor, nothing fancy or extravagant, but it meant a lot to the newcomer, that regardless of their age or how long they had been among them, they could now be considered a chosen one, an enlightened one who would live to heal the world. So, when a rush of people caught up with Harrow to show him that a girl younger than you had gotten her mark, you felt your soul leave your body.

Arthur was proud, hugged the girl warmly and congratulated her on being blessed by their goddess. You smiled, your body dirty with dirt from having been weeding some planters and a freshly healed cut, and you applauded just like the others. You should have felt happy, they were all like a family, a village where the achievement of one was the glory of all, but in reality, your eyes stung and your mouth tasted bitter.

You were not going to ruin that girl's party, so you left early, only after a hurried dinner. Like other people who had no family within the community, you had a room of your own in one of the buildings, but as soon as you entered you kicked a small table so hard you almost knocked it over, and then started shaking.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid" you repeated as you pulled your hair. You went to the bathroom, even though there was no one else in the house, and locked yourself in to cry out your frustration. 

Maybe you were wrong about yourself, you thought as you rubbed your face so hard that your eyes became irritated. Maybe Arthur had been too compassionate with you by letting you join them, really good people, with a promising future... When had you ever had such a thing? Hadn't you already learned it many years ago?

"(Y/N), I am a woman. I have my own desires, my own impulses... now that you are older, I can accept it without feeling that I am unfair to you" was what your mother said when you were thirteen and you found out by chance that she was dating a man. You were happy for her, but there was something empty in your chest that grew when, only a year later, you learned that they would have a child together.

"Why don't you spend a few days with your father?" she questioned you, the afternoon she had to go for you to the principal's office because you were found smoking in the bathroom "You haven't talked to him for weeks" She was wrong, it was months "I understand that you feel pressured with the new baby, but he is your brother, you will love him when everything passes, you don't have to be unfair".

You saw the little one in his crib and you were sorry you didn't feel the great love that your mother assured you should feel. That rosy face was sweet, yet every time you stretched out your hand to caress him, you regretted it, and fled like a criminal. The only safe place in that house was a hole in the wall that had been intended for a closet, and you ran your hands over the old scribbles you made on the wall for years, when you pretended not to hear the screams and cries.

"What's wrong with you, (Y/N)? Is it some teenage thing I don't understand or are you throwing a tantrum? You've never been like this before. I'll call your father to-"

"I don't have a father," you finally blurted out. Your mother looked pale, she had had to pick you up from the police station for an altercation at a party, and you still had dried blood on your blouse.

"How can you say that?" she asked you with tears in her eyes.

"Because it's the truth, Mom" your lower lip trembled, you couldn't stand to see her cry, when she did, you remembered those intense, horrible weeks leading up to the divorce, where she would spend her time crying and making soup, and crying again, while he angrily reminded her that he had two families to watch over and that she was a mess. You had survived by laying low, but you knew what was coming by then, and the only thing you regretted was that it hadn't happened faster.

"I'm not going to let you throw your future away like this because of your tantrums. Albert came with me, he's outside waiting for us and he helped me with your bail, at least apologize to him..."

"Why, did I make him mad?" you snorted under your breath, with a sarcastic grimace. 

"He wouldn't have to go through this..."

"I know, I'm not his daughter."

"I didn't say that."

"But it's true, isn't it? Al's a nice guy, but honestly... I'm left over between you."

You were unnecessary everywhere, you were a blind spot, an uncomfortable lump that occasionally got in the way. You knew it since your father started forgetting your birthday, since you saw his networks flooded with pictures of him with his new family, since that time when you met him by accident in the street and, rather than admit you were his daughter to a co-worker, he preferred that idiot to think disgusting things about you. 

"Stop it!" your mother's hands hit the table. You didn't even flinch, it seemed as if your feelings were buried in a place you couldn't reach "You're ungrateful! All we've done for you, all the patience we've had! Do you know how many times I hated picking up the phone and talking to your father?"

"I never wanted you to" you answered in a hoarse voice "I told you many times that he had left us, Mom, but you wouldn't listen. You wanted me to keep talking to him...for what, mom? He never wanted us"

"Don't say such things!"

"But it's the truth! Why did you always force me to keep looking for him, uh? What did you want to achieve?"

"I wanted you to have a father so that you weren't going to be...!" the words seemed to pile up on her. You saw in her eyes the fire of resentment, of the anguish she could never release, the fear that her perfect world would fall apart again. She was fragile. Fortunately you were not.

The night before your eighteenth birthday you showed up at the building where your father lived. He owned a rich penthouse where he spent much of his time, life was smiling on him and he could afford to live apart from his second family as well, with whom he nevertheless got along much better than he ever could with you. You circumvented security, wrote "FUCK YOU SHIT DADDY" on the door and smashed a bottle of cheap alcohol against it to set it on fire. You knew the incident would not get very far thanks to the fire alarms, but that childish revenge that was like a rite of passage into the gritty life that awaited you made you immensely happy.

For a few weeks you were living anywhere, London had some shelters where you would arrive and spend most of the day, and at night, in the company of certain people you couldn't exactly consider friends, you would hang around the crowded areas looking to pick up a few pounds from drunken partygoers that would eventually be spent on alcohol, cigarettes and junk food.

Murphy's law was not long in coming, and one of those nights things went wrong. One of your colleagues picked the wrong victim, and you saw him fall after the devastating blow of a cricket bat. Almost everyone abandoned the boy, who was bleeding profusely and screaming for forgiveness, but you stood by, transfixed, looking for some way to help him. The bully with the bat took a second swing at him, and from your companion's cry of pain you knew he had broken his leg.

"Stop!" you stepped forward, terrified. The guy was tall and stocky, whatever he had taken had made him more aggressive.

"Are you with him?" he exclaimed, coming at you "Answer me, you bloody rat!"

You narrowly dodged the first blow, and the enraged guy lashed out at you with his fist. A dull, throbbing pain told you that he had just connected with your face, and you staggered before managing to grab hold of a trash can. A hand grabbed you by the hair and you were thrown to the ground, unable even to scream as the blow knocked the air from your lungs. The cricket bat clattered beside you, teasing.

"Did ya think ya'll were gonna rob me?" you heard it, mocking and rabid "Did ya'll think so? I'm gonna break every goddamn bone in your bodies!"

A foot landed right in the middle of your back, making you squeal. You hadn't thought much about death ever, it seemed to you something mysterious and quiet that appeared suddenly to certain people, people who enjoyed life generally, and you didn't. And so it was then, you were going to die but that meant nothing, you had no future, and the past was too horrible to treasure. You were a rotten fruit, and now someone would finally pluck you from the tree.

"Wait! You don't want to do this, believe me"

The voice that spoke was different, low, slow. You heard your attacker snort, at the climax of his bloodlust. You dared to raise your head a little, and saw a pair of feet a few steps away advancing towards you, shod in simple leather sandals.

"Get out of here, old man!" shouted the guy with the bat.

"You want to get blood on your hands without even knowing if it's the right thing to do?" 

"They were going to rob me! Are you going to defend this scum?"

"You don't want to hurt them, you're scared..."

"I'm not scared!" the guy brandished his bat, threatening the stranger with it. "Get away, get out of the way!"

The other man was still approaching, he was leaning on a cane that gleamed silver. Since the guy had taken his foot and his attention away from you, you could see better what was going on.

"True justice does not seek to indulge in suffering" the stranger held out his hands, as if seeking to embrace his enemy "A better world is coming..."

" You' re crazy!" 

The guy swung his bat, but it collided with the newcomer's cane. The bat got caught in the grip of the cane, and then, the man wielding it reached out his free hand and grabbed the other by one wrist.

"It's a pity," he whispered. The eyes of the guy with the bat popped out of their sockets, and seconds later... something big and heavy fell behind you. Some new footsteps came closer and you saw some silhouettes approaching "Take care of the other boy, please."

The man with the cane then laid his attention on you. You were trembling, your face was bloodstained and you had several scrapes where the skin was unprotected, and the stranger, helping himself with the cane, knelt down and held your face by the chin. He had long blond hair, with silver highlights here and there, and his eyes were a stunning blue.

Then you remembered why you were there, and you felt fear. Your eyes went to the staff, which had two crocodile heads carved on it.

"You're scared, I understand" he whispered "But you have nothing to fear for tonight."

Adrenaline brought the first tears, which stung as they touched the bleeding parts of your face. The man was still looking at you, and that made you uneasy as well as fascinated, you didn't remember anyone had ever seen you like that.

"Thank you" you whispered with great sincerity. The man smiled, and gently, so as not to hurt you any more, wiped away a tear with his thumb.

"What is your name, my dear?"

"(Y/N), just (Y/N)."

"Would you like to come with us?"

You frowned, confused. That's when you noticed that, around you and your colleague, who had passed out, at least half a dozen people were gathered.

That night you met Arthur Harrow and his community. That night you had died and been reborn, and you saw before you a hope and a second chance.

But perhaps you had been too lenient. Perhaps, you thought when you could no longer see straight after so many minutes of crying, you really should have died.

"Here you were." 

You barely  reacted when the door opened, but you realized that the one who had arrived was Arthur. Embarrassed, you hid your face in your knees.

"Please let me" you asked in a choked voice. Arthur sat down beside you, sympathetic as always, and busied himself stroking the crocodile heads on his cane.

"Perhaps others refuse to accept that in every garden there are spiders" he commented "but the bad times are just as important as the ones that are good. Did you think I wouldn't notice?"

If you felt bad before, it was worse now. 

"I'm so sorry" you stammered, sniffling through your nose "I didn't mean to...really forgive me."

"You think I'm mad at you, (Y/N)?" Arthur turned so he could look at you, and you felt his hand reach for yours "Why do you think you're unworthy? Does it mean that much to you that Ammit hasn't pointed you out yet?"

You knew there was something unique about that community, something that eliminated it from the cult of madmen trope, but when you thought of Ammit it was as distant to you as any other god, it was possible you would never even get to meet her in person. No, it wasn't because of Ammit.

"I did a lot of bad things... I don't justify them" you explained. Arthur's hand was still holding yours "I always hated my father, for what he did to mom... but I also abandoned her... I'm a bad daughter, how could I be a good person? The night we met I was really trying to rob that guy, my friend had better luck than me, I guess, because he died"

"Give me your hands" Arthur demanded nonchalantly. You obeyed him immediately, you felt that that was the least you could do "You know very well how the scales work, your fears and insecurities cloud your judgement, could you accept that of our goddess?"

You let him place the crocodile heads on your wrists, Arthur looked at the scale on his forearm, but you only looked at him. You didn't care about the outcome, you knew it beforehand, but in that darkness that would have shattered others you found your own light. Harrow had saved your life, and it was he who was to take it from you.

The blue eyes went to yours, undecipherable.

"Your heart is wounded," he said, and put away the cane "It is not evil that nests in you, but immense sorrow. You were abandoned at the moment when you most needed to be protected, and you lost your way."

So many times you had boasted that neither of your parents made the slightest effort to look for you when you disappeared, that now you didn't understand why that made you cry. Arthur took you in his arms, holding you close to him, and you clung to his shoulders.

"All I want" you sobbed "is for someone to care about me, to believe that I am enough."

"You are enough" Arthur murmured, stroking your head "And I care about you very much"

"But I wish you cared only about me"

That confession was so sudden that it took you a few seconds to realize what you said.

"I'm sorry." 

Harrow took your face in his hands, smiling at you. You on the other hand felt your face burning with embarrassment.

"Is that what's wrong?" he asked.

"No, I... sorry, it's not right..."

"(Y/N), desiring things is not a sin. If to heal your heart you need a little more from me, I will gladly do it."

You hugged him again. Your sorrows and worries seemed to have disappeared with your tears.

"I love you, Arthur."

"I love you too, my dearest."

#moon knight #moon knight series #moon knight fanfiction #arthur harrow #arthur harrow x reader #arthur harrow fanfiction #ethan hawke #marvel #tw: family problems #tw: violence

[oncominggstorm]

Im autistic & adhd. Also have undiagnosed physical health issues which been acting up lately. Really not doing well, need help. Currently in shutdown, include verbal shutdown. And struggling type, forgive grammar plz. Need help & support, but is none. Don’t know what do. Everything feel impossible. Long vent under cut.

Want run away, somewhere no one can find. Somewhere quiet & alone, with internet & tv so can watch comfort shows, play comfort games, etc. But will turn off phone, or get new number, or just block all family except younger sister on everything, or something, idk. Want comfy bed & comfy chairs & good temperature control & good food, and just quiet & solitude. Preferably somewhere out in nature. Let everyone figure out their own shit without me. Can’t do this anymore. ONLY things keeping me from doing are younger sister & lack of money. Mom & twin sister need figure shit out on own, can’t handle anymore. Can’t do.

Dont have a job or any money at all, literally only have $5 (and well over $20k in credit card debt, in collections). Am in autistic burnout & have been for nearly 3 years now. Had quit job in May cuz burnout so bad. But still expected take care of entire family.

Live with dad & twin sister (will call twin). Dad extremely NT & able bodied, dont understand me/twin at all. Knows nothing about autism/adhd & unwilling to learn. Pays bills & does chores so that is helpful, but not willing do any other support. Doesn’t believe in mental health.

Mom & younger sister (will call younger) live with grandma. Younger is 12 yrs younger, i basically raised. Feel almost more like parent than sister. Also is best friend & person i care most about in world, would die for her. Hate seeing her suffer. Twin & younger both also autistic & adhd, and neither have job. Grandma has moderate (bordering on advanced) dementia & need 24/7 supervision & support. Younger currently has busted knee, on crutches & really struggling & lot of pain. Mom refusing to believe is as bad as is, thinks younger is exaggerating, barely helping her. Ive been having drive over nearly daily to help. Mom had multiple strokes 2 years ago, still has both cognitive & physical challenges as result, & just lost job. Mom almost deffo undiagnosed autistic/adhd but refuses to believe. Doesnt believe younger is either (she still undiagnosed, me & twin formal diagnosed recently). Mom never great person, but got much worse after strokes, is mean & bordering on verbally abusive to us (and is DEFFO verbal abusive to grandma). Also has horrible memory & cognitive issues, doesnt understand things correctly, half of what she says doesn’t make sense, makes helping her hard.

Twin sick rn, lots of stomach issue & pain. Found out few months ago has enlarged spleen, but no answer yet, cant see specialist til Dec. Twin also has medical anxiety, so hard to know for sure what is real & what isnt. Every day twin ask me for MULTIPLE favors; get things for her, do things for her, etc. Also get MULTIPLE txts every day complaining about not feeling well, yet she refuse go doctors. Counted once a few days ago: in 11 hour period, asked for 7 favors & texted 13 times about pain.

Even when not sick tho, twin basically never help. Feels like she think I “less disabled” than her, not true. I doing horribly and still have take care everyone else while she sits on couch play video games & ask me to bring her things. No one ever bring ME things. Twin NEVER return favor no matter how bad I do/how well she do. One sided only.

Today twin ask for SO MANY THINGS, CONSTANTLY. Doesnt seem to care that I not doing well either & just CANNOT handle, keeps asking anyway. I tell her how bad am doing & immediately she ask for more favors. Won’t shut up about how sick she is (feeling very “wrong” w/stomach issues, has enlarged spleen but don’t know why yet & is worried that is cause), and says she is NOT OK, and that something is VERY wrong & she is worried she is dying, but also won’t get her ass to ER. Also expect /ME/ take her AND go in with, if decides go. Told her has to ask mom or dad first. Now just won’t go, and instead just keep complain to me about how bad doing & keep asking for help with stuff.

On top of that, am constant worried about all shit mom needs to do: get grandma house in her name so can keep (rn bank gets when grandma dies due to 2nd mortgage or something idk, which will make mom & younger homeless), get grandma car in her name (mom hasnt had own car in like 6+ yrs, just uses gma’s), figure out her unemployment (applied but no check yet cuz needs submit weekly proof of job applications & doesnt know how), get guardianship for grandma (mom never even got power of attorney, and is too late now cuz grandma cant understand to sign, so rn we just stuck cuz grandma not capable make decisions, but legally we cant make for her either), update her resume, get help for grandma, etc. Most of it fall to me. Mom kind of person who just WILL NOT do things, no matter how much help u give (ex: was trying get her accommodations for her job after strokes so wouldnt lose job. Explained process multiple times, both verbally & in writing. Figured out who she needed contact for help & wrote out email for her, ALL she had do was copy & paste & send email. Didnt do it. Now fired cuz couldnt keep up w/out accommodations). Mom also no longer even ask for help, just tells us we are doing. Ex: said to me “I’m going to come over tomorrow so you can help me do my job searches for unemployment.” Just tells me I’m doing it, not even ask. Sick of it. Grandma have dementia, at point where cannot even shower or wash hands, we have no support at all, doing everything ourselves. ADRC says only way to get grandma help is to put lien on her house & sell to pay off when she dies, but mom & younger live with grandma so that would make them homeless once she dies. Says we can’t even get occasional respite care unless give up house, let alone regular in home care.

Just can’t handle anymore. Feel like am being broke into thousand pieces, or crushed by thousand lb weights. Feel stuck. Feel like no choices, no good options, no way out. Want run away. Want take younger & her cat & find cabin in woods somewhere & just go run away from everything/everyone else. But can’t, no money. Feel so stuck. No help. No support. Don’t know what do.

#will probably delete this later but rn feel stuck & DESPERATE for help/ideas/suggestions #vent #autism #adhd #rant

[golbrocklovely]

when we’re talking about the 2016 rn (refering to anon) i wonder why he didnt have serious relationship since 2016? was that relationship SO serious to him that he didnt want to be with someone else or anything? Its actually kinda sad to see this tbh, because that means it really hurt him somehow.

Also im so sorry his grandpa died, i can imagine, my grandma almost died because of sickness and i cant imagine lost her absolutely. hope that man will be okay soon, hope he knows people are here for him💜.

(this is a bit of an older ask, from a couple days ago)

sorry for the delayed response :)

with colby's past serious relationship, it's hard to tell what happened or how things played out bc he mostly keeps that info to himself; which is totally understandable. he's let slip some things, like how he was very needy and depended on her a lot and how he wanted to be with her all the time and overall - he was just too much.

the worse thing he's ever said about her is that she was a bit flaky, and in reality he only implied it. he's mostly blamed himself for things falling apart or that it was just draining to be that in love with someone.

this is all my assumption, so take what i say with a grain of salt. i'm just basing my opinion off of things he's said and also a lot of old tweets from back in the day (some of which have been outright deleted but i saved lol): i think he fell madly in love with this girl, and just depended on her too much. i think he came across as needy and clingy, and she pulled back. she didn't love him as much as he loved her, and then eventually things ended. and he spent the next year just being heartbroken and trying to move on. then by 2018, he tried dating again (and by that i mean putting himself out there, not really having any serious relationships), and it went south once again. and he became bitter to love and dating and everything else. which is why he said the infamous quote of "all the girls in la suck". and i think only recently has he "tried" to dip his toes back into actual dating, and not just hooking up. but even then, he's not really trying.

i think his past relationship really hurt him. bc, while i don't think he wanted to marry this girl, i think that's how much love he had for her. hence why he said in his deep q&a "i only want to fall in love that deeply again with someone like my wife". i don't think he wanted to marry her, but i think he saw a future with her when she didn't feel the same way. and when they broke up, her reasonings tied with his past self esteem issues, it all just became a lot for him to process. i mean, he only recently just started to like being by himself and alone alone (ie solo vacations). respectfully, he has a lot of dependence issues. i don't know if that's bc he doesn't feel like he's enough, or if it's something else entirely. but it's clear that he's been hurt a lot in his life, and it effects the way he goes into relationships.

and i'm in the same boat as him lol

i hope in the near future he allows himself to open up to ppl. i know it's hard, but holding that area of his life back and blaming it on work or whatever other issue is never gonna fix what happened. you also can't allow your heart to grow dark. i think he has a lot of love to give, and he shouldn't hide that in fear of getting hurt.

as for his grandfather, he seems to be a bit better now (according to what he posted yesterday), so that's good. obviously the initial shock is a lot. so i hope he eventually goes home to see family and is around them for love and support.

and i pray that next year is nicer to him.

#ask #personal #cb ll

[hanjisungs-bigtittyg0thgf]

First of all, I'm sorry you're having all those issues and I hope you're doing ok/will be doing ok soon❤❤

The brainrot is only getting worse, to the point where I'm starting to wonder if I need to find a way to stop it. If nothing else, my fantasy version of Changbin has kind of made me realize how much I want to be in a relationship right now, which is either good healthy insight into my own wants and needs OR just another form of torture.

So here's a couple thoughts:

Meeting the family would mean he'd interact with the baby cousins and you'd have to see that happen and your ovaries would explode. He'd also see YOU with the baby cousins and - would that activate his primal caveman urge to see you pregnant? Who's to say.

Slow dancing in the living room when the song changes and he gets his arm around your waist and just YANKS you in right against him, looking you dead in the fuckin eye, gets one leg between yours and does the knee thing. Like you are not in control of your own weight at all and he just smirks...

"I want changbin to romance me. Or rail me" friend, porque no los dos?

🎉

it’s just been a total monday even though it’s saturday. it’ll be okay soon, it’s just a lot rn. thanks lovely ❤️

as for your stance on changbin brain rot, same. same same same same same. like…we all know i’m starved for attention and affection (amongst other things) and this is further testament to that but how much is too much? when will this be the only thing i can thing about? it’s honestly unhealthy. he’s not even my bias.

addressing your thoughts:

how dare you. how dare you make me think about changbin with a breeding kink when i’m suffering from baby fever. shame on you.

anyways he would definitely go full caveman. manhandle you and cum inside then fuck his cum back inside you when it starts to leak out, all while muttering about how he’s gonna knock you up. afterwards, when you start teasing him about it, he’d shrug and say “what? we’d make cute babies.” or something dumb but cute like that.

and the dancing? it would be a playlist he compiled of songs he considered “your songs” cause every couple has at least one song. some would be songs he wrote, others would just be songs that hold significance to both of you. it would go from falling like stars by james arthur to streets by doja cat and the atmosphere would grow so tense. he’d end up backing you against a wall and grinding his thigh against you while you made out. as the song changed, he’d cut the music and drag you to the bedroom, where he’d make you see stars.

also i need you to know i didn’t understand what you said until i saw “dos” cause i took spanish when i was homeschooled (read: i didn’t actually do the work but the one unit i did do, i aced and that’s all that got recorded in the grade books so i passed the course without learning shit)

#kpop smut #kpop hard thoughts #kpop hard hours #stray kids #stray kids smut #stray kids hard hours #stray kids hard thoughts #stray kids changbin #changbin #changbin hard thoughts #changbin hard hours #changbin smut #anon ask #🎉anon

[idontlikeem]

i got some shit i gotta get out of my head or i am quite literally going to lose my fucking mind. this is disjoined and written stream-of-conscious; this is not a writing exercise that i went back to make sound pretty.

tw for references to cancer, unhealthy relationships, alcoholism.

ooookay so. so! so.

i've made a few references to stuff like this in the past, but:

my mom is dying of cancer and likely only has a few months left

i am getting divorced, and the divorce happened in an abrupt, cruel, traumatic fashion

so, that's the groundwork i'm working with rn.

i've been with my soon-to-be ex-husband for ten years. that's a decade. we got together right after college and have been together ever since.

yes, that means i'm old. sorry not sorry.

i have not been single since my early twenties. i have not lived alone for more than a year, when i was 22.

i am scared. i am lonely. i am devastated that the man i loved, who i thought loved me too, decided to blow up my life in such an unbelievably cruel fashion.

because, of course, he knows my mom is dying. he knows how bad it's getting.

it's interesting what hindsight shows you. i thought he was supportive. i thought he was doing his best to be there for me, he was just maybe a little misguided but his intentions were good.

i thought the different issues we had were uncontrollable, things i'd have to learn to live with.

he has ADHD so of course he'd never be able to remember to do chores without me reminding him over and over, of course he'd never see something that needed cleaning on his own and just do it, of course he'd say inappropriate things to me in front of my friends and family that are embarrassing; i just need to get over it, who cares?

his parents were dysfunctional growing up so of course he'd always scream at me when he was upset, of course he'd lunge at me as if he were going to attack me if i 'made him too mad'; i need to stop acting like it's a big deal.

he knows he has a drinking problem but he's working on it, so of course i should never, ever nag him or ask him to stop drinking, of course i should accept that he's going to hide cans and bottles from me (or try), of course i should just get over it when he's shitfaced and absolutely ruins events because he refuses to stop, of course i shouldn't ever ever say anything to him about the times he put his hands on me with violent intent while drunk because of course he didn't mean it; if i did, it would make him feel bad. it's my fault he drinks too much, of course.

of course.

he wanted to make some major changes to our life, none of which i consented to or at any point indicated or hinted that i wanted. when i said i was not interested in them, i was told i wasn't being flexible, and shouldn't i want to move anyway? after all, your mom is dying, don't you want to live near her? don't you care about your own mother? i care about my family, after all—why don't you?

be flexible. learn to compromise.

i've thought a lot about the concept of 'compromise' recently, and how frequently i, to keep the peace, allowed it to mean 'you get what you want and i don't get what i want, not even a little'. i was married, after all, and this was my husband—i was working to save our marriage. or at least that's what i thought.

it didn't matter. because the instant i refused to wholly give into him on something, and instead enforced a true compromise, i was suddenly: the worst, most inflexible person to deal with. you should hear the things my family is saying about you. you're making this trip so much harder and so unpleasant for everyone else. this isn't all about you. why won't you just cancel your plans? you need to do what i want instead.

i've spent 60% of this year alone. there were always reasons for him to disappear, to go away, and then be gone for months at a time. they were good reasons, plausible ones, but they just kept coming.

i got covid and he wouldn't come back to take care of me. i'm not saying i need that; plenty of people live alone and have covid. but i was married. i had a husband. that's part of what spouses do, they take care of each other. at least, that's what i signed up for.

it's what my dad is doing.

my mom is so sick. i've never seen a person this sick. it's terrifying. she's going to be dead sooner than i had mentally prepared myself for, and i'm not ready. there's been a lot of denial in how i've been handling this—maybe not denial, maybe hope that something she'd try treatment-wise would work. none of them are working.

my dad is by her side. he's retiring early so he can spend his time with her. it doesn't matter and it's not good enough and it's not what they deserve, but he's there.

what if you had gotten sick, my mom asked me when i was home visiting a few weeks ago, what if that breast biopsy you got done two years ago had come back positive for cancer? i've cried myself to sleep thinking about how that man would never take care of you, how it would be all about him. it's made me sick to think of how horrible he's been to you.

she's right. he wouldn't have been there for me, at least not how i needed. it would have been what he decided i needed, because of course how could anything he thinks is correct be wrong?

he didn't want me to get a lawyer, for the divorce. he thought that if he told me i didn't need one, i wouldn't get one, and he'd be able to steamroll over me just like he's done for years now, and i'd just fold in on myself and meekly agree to what he wanted. i'd be the shell i'd let him make of me, the little personality-less doll he thought i should be, and when i wasn't, when i didn't, he didn't understand.

and now? he's angry.

he's demanding i accommodate requests that i have no legal obligation to accommodate. you need to make this work, he says, with the implied threat being if you don't i'm going to hold the money i owe you over your head. as if what he's asking for doesn't involve other people. no, it's all about him, the main character of life! all the rest of us exist for is to accommodate his whims and wishes, and if we don't, he is allowed, encouraged even, to be rude, to be cruel, to be demanding.

i'm not a person to him. i'm certainly not a person you respect and treat as a whole, real individual. i'm an obstacle, an inconvenience.

when i see messages from him now my heart rate shoots up and my breathing accelerates. i get shaky and dizzy and panicky. in a sick way, it mimics the start of a relationship, when a message from that new person you're so excited about makes you anxious in a good way, nervous with anticipation.

what a sick parody this is.

i'll always care deeply about you, he said, this was the hardest thing i've ever had to do.

he couldn't even do it to my face. he ran to hide with mommy and daddy.

all because i wouldn't uproot my life to move back to where his parents live, because he's bored of this city i've made my home in.

all because i had the gall to expect him to pull his weight in our shared home, financially and via tasks.

all because i wanted to keep progressing with my life—buy a home, carve out a space of our own.

all because...well, there are some things i won't say. but no, weirdly enough the daily misery of being made to feel like someone's maid isn't sexy for me.

relationships end all the time. people fall in love and fall apart. but this? trying to hurt someone? being cruel just because?

i'm so tired.

#this is all personal stuff and not at all related hockey #please do not feel obligated to click and read or interact at all #i just needed to type how i'm feeling about things somewhere because i cannot keep burdening my friends with this #so into an online void it goes where people can ignore it!!!! #is this what therapy is for—perhaps i should look into that lmfao #ahahahahaha life is SO SO FUN RN #tws for #cancer #alcohol #and #unhealthy relationships

[cassioppenny]

dont feel too bad abt not talking/posting much! dw i get it u_u BUT!!! if youd like id like to hear anything u have to say abt milesverse galar.....OR. if theres any interesting milesverse legendary/mythical lore thatd be mega cool too!!! :0

thank you neela!! that means a lot to me

in milesverse galar the main character is gloria and she travels around with her older brother victor (he's 15 and she's 13), hop, and eventually marnie. victor went on a journey when he was 13 but gave up before the first gym. this caused gloria to be extremely disappointed in him and they basically hate eachother now. gloria thinks victor is a failure and victor thinks gloria is an annoying self absorbed brat.

gloria looks up to leon a lot and thinks of him as her real older brother and wants to one day surpass him and become a new unbeatable champion. she's kinda egotistical and thinks she's the coolest guy in the universe. she names her pokemon more and more elaborate and batshit insane things that everyone else either just call it by it's species or shortens the names. she of course have to say their full title out loud no matter what. for example her sobble's name is THE GREAT BLADE OF LEGEND EXCALIBUR THE THIRD but literally everyone just calls him excalibur, exal, or just sobble. no one knows where excalibur the second is. also exal isn't even a sword.

victor is forced to go with gloria by their mom and is basically the brock of the group if brock was actually the biggest hater on the planet. he cooks a lot though it's his special interest.

as for the plot i kinda want to figure out a way to make rose's plan not as fucking stupid as it is in canon but im not sure how rn. maybe make the power thing a more urgent emergency or have it so the energy might run out at any moment or something

as for legendaries i would like to think up entire origin myths for all of them (except for like the aliens and the man made horrors) but that'd be like a very long post so im just going to keep to the arceus family for the most part. i think imaging what pokemythology is like is cool

so basically the legendaries that arceus made are dialga and palkia, then the lake trio, then mew, and then finally giritina because i think giritina being the youngest child is funny as hell.

mew is basically the adam/eve of pokemythology but after giving birth to mortal life they decide being a little shit is way funnier and is now basically a trickster god who causes problems on purpose like giving volo immortality.

another example mew got bored during rgby and started rping as a human basically and becomes the indigo champion. fucks with the kanto trio and probably made their friendship divorce even worse, stole the masterball, stole a truck, had green capture mewtwo for them, takes mewtwo and then fucks off.

giritina isn't like actually evil. they're basically just an angsty lonely teenager with anger issues if they were also worm satan. they get easily attached to any human that's nice to them (volo and dawn) and can communicate to them through their thoughts which have the unfortunate side effect of fucking them up mentally a bit. volo had it worse since giritina was more pissed back then compared to dppt.

arceus is the most out of touch dad who tries to be supportive but always makes everything worse somehow ever. they overhear lucas having an argument with dawn over how lucas feels like he's not as good as his friends since he's not a hero like them and arceus thinks "this lad will definitely be the perfect candidate to become the new hisuian hero" and shoved him back in time. they also gave him amnesia since the last guy (alder) kept whining that he had a wife and kids at home. then after lucas did what arceus told him to arceus thinks that giving him a portion of his power by letting him use an arceus avatar in battle instead of taking him home was a good idea.

dialga, palkia, mew, and giritina all don't like them. dialga and palkia are kinda awkward about it like "haha yeah sure dad" whenever arceus says something insanely stupid. mew thinks they're a weenie and the world would probably be better without them but doesn't try overthrowing them by themselves they just give one eyed weirdos immortality to do it for them. giritina is giritina.

the lake trio are chill they just hang out in their caves for the most part.

#milesverse #woe arceus family lore be opon ye #also galar lore i guess #i think arceus being an absolutely clueless dad (gender neutral) is funny as hell

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

my boyfriend likes to cuddle. I, however, like my personal space when sleeping.

how do I bring this up without shattering the poor man's heart?????

we live in a 10 square meter flat with a king size bed (the bed is literally 75% of the apartment) and he only falls asleep on top of me. it's a massive bed. he has so much space. why does he sleeps ON ME?

idk maybe I'm being a little bitchy.

All I want my space in my bed without making the love of my life upset!

I do not cuddle. I don't even hug people. You're lucky if you get a fist bump. I'm not a person who shows physical affection. I'm a thumbs-up, then escape immediately kind of person. And just like how I'm a certain kind of person, the people I fuck are certain kinds of people.

Any kind of relationship is compromise.

Sit down and have a talk about how what actions he needs to feel loved by you and vice versa. Maybe cuddling with you before sleeping is very important to him. Maybe you can just buy him a body pillow and he's cool with that. Get a dog / cat - actually don't, they'll take up the whole king bed by themselves, those animals

(evidence: Yoongi's photos of Holly)

For me? I tell the cuddler, "Yo, you can cuddle me but before you fall asleep, you gotta get off me. Your limbs become dead weight and my arms and legs lose circulation. Waking with pins and needles is not fun." I'm not a cuddler, but what I hate more than cuddling is waking up without feeling in my limbs (I think most people would agree but I could be wrong, idk). Usually they're receptive to that reasoning. That has happened to me, especially when the other person has big, dense muscles (or you're my cat sitting on my chest, oof).

so basically

I'm okay with cuddling as long as you don't accidentally, ya know,

amputate me

but that's just me, can't say if you feel the same way

...

anyway

If this is his sleeping habit, please keep in mind that he might not be able to help it. You can't get upset at him for something he does in his sleep. He might migrate over to you anyway even if you get him the body pillow. Maybe he gets his sleep thing and you get something else (example, him taking out the trash for trying to become to clam to your pearl body or something like that, uh, you two can workshop it lol)

In any relationship - sexual / nonsexual, platonic / romantic, partners / friends / family - there are going to be quirks that you either have to learn to let slide or find some common ground on if you want to keep the relationship. Yes, I don't show physical affection normally, but if I know that placing my arm around someone's waist or giving their forehead a kiss is going to bring them a lot of happiness, then I'll do it. Why not? Yes, I don't cuddle, but if they want to clam-cuddle my unmoving body on the bed as I scroll on my phone, sure.

now

if you tell me to stop playing In The SEOM, we're gonna have some issues, I'm on level 991 rn, I can't -

ANYWAY

I didn't grow up with any forms of physical affection (or any kind of affection at all). However, I recognize that most people did and, for them, physical affection equates to signs of fondness. Without it, they can feel that you are being emotionally distant (aka, they think you don't care). This is why in relationships, it's important to talk about which actions equate with affection. Even small, tiny things that mean nothing to you can mean a lot to another person.

People rarely leave other or big, dramatic reasons. People usually leave each other because they don't think to have conversations about their version of love.

Initially, how you express love is how you want to be loved. But how people feel loved is when you do their version of love. Everyone is an individual. Everyone has a different idea of "actions that show love". Rarely will these actions align with yours. You've probably heard of this idea - love languages. You can look it up on Google if you want to learn more (I didn't come up with it haha), but what I'm saying is that actions that you might not think of as signs of love because "I wouldn't do that" could be very important for the other person.

so, yeah

basically I'm Yoongi as the younger ones bop me on the head with a toy hammer and drag me around, it's how they show love, mmmm

-ㅅ-

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bonus game screencaps that nobody asked for:

[adanseydivorce]

top 5 characters with your zodiac sign (stolen from you), top 5 wlw pjo/hoo ships, top 5 tropes that you love and top 5 that you hate

top 5 characters with your zodiac sign (stolen from you), top 5 wlw pjo/hoo ships, top 5 tropes that you love and top 5 that you hate

5 characters with my zodiac sign I could only think of three canon Taurus chars I love so the last two I counted headcanons for, and neither of those characters has a canon birth date

canon taureans

•Hope Mikaelson (TVDu) ((I do see the arguments Ares sun fits her better but I think Taurus sun with other fire placements also fits her quite nicely and again I don’t have a lot of favorite characters with my sign let me have this lol)•Dan Wilds (Aftg) and we share a birthday!

•Emily Fields (technically in the Pll books she’s a Taurus and going off her show bday she’s a Scorpio but I do think that Taurus sun fits show Emily better overall too and Ik when we discussed this you agreed with me :))

And then two characters I’ve always seen as Taurus are Blue Sargent (Trc) and Marina Andrieski (The Magicians)

Top 5 wlw pjo/hoo ships

 Pipeyna

Pipabeth

Reynabeth

Rueguard

this could be one of a couple ships depending on my mood but I’m going with Thalia x Zoe rn because it’s very underrated imo

Top 5 tropes I love (didn’t want to agonize over ranking these so bullet points again) •enemies to friends to lovers or any iteration on these things (lovers to enemies, friends to lovers, enemies to lovers, reluctant allies to friends to lovers etc.) •doppelgängers, shadow selves and dynamics between a hero and their shadow selves can be a romance can be enemies etc. •anything to do with parallel worlds •the overachiever girl from a seemingly perfect (and this mean different things) background who struggles to fulfill familial expectations, is actually very unhinged at times and has some sort of spiral where she ends up off her original path at least for a while, and part of the subtext is usually about her repressed sapphic ness a la Spencer Hastings / Annie Edison / Julia Wicker

•the mean girl character who is originally set against the protagonist but as the story progresses she’s shown to be sympathetic and layered in her own right, and her relationship with the protagonist is allowed to develop into at least respect maybe friendship that’s usually pretty homoerotic. honorable mention to this specific flavor of opposites attract dynamics that’s like ‘on the surface we could not be more different but we can relate/connect/are actually more similar than anyone else when it comes to very specific things that aren’t obvious. And not really a trope which is why I didn’t include them but I love fantasy stories about witches and/or vampires. Also I can’t lie I do love a magical school setting. Codependent relationships in general. Sister stories!!! LOVE those. Bottle episodes and bottle episode adjacent episodes my beloved!! I have a lot of favorite tropes actually Top 5 tropes I hate

insta love I have exceptions and these exceptions are like, reincarnation stories such as dosab where there’s a reason for it and Rue x Jules because they simply had the range/chemistry. But usually I hate it. Also combining this with any fated/pre-destined/other forces or people are always telling the audience this pairing is meant to be without doing the work of showing/developing the relationship to be appealing/seem to work well together

mystical pregnancy, most pregnancy and baby story arcs in general

media concerned with parental/familial issues where all the mothers are demonized while the fathers get to be complicated parents like tm tended to do. Something I found refreshing about watching pll was that it was a total reverse of this with all the fathers being irredeemable monsters and the mothers being more complex 

I ranted about this recently re: the va show but I really dislike when a fantasy work has this aspect of metaphorical bigotry as a theme and the characters who voice said bigotry are usually poc

Ik this is solely a fic thing but fucking hate abo lol

Thank you! (Ask me too 5 of anything)

#s speaks #pll #pjo #hoo #legacies #va #the magicians #trc #community #euphoria #dosab #just tagging whatever fandoms I specifically mentioned in the post I was alluding to / referring to others too

[catsconflictscopicsandchamomile]

my dad is paying for my apt and college and some of my food and is usually so supportive but sometimes i hate him i hate him i hate him

im telling him that things are not good rn at my apartment and my landlord isnt doing his work to keep things running/we are likely paying too much. he gets angry and immediately shuts the topic down/raises his voice, IN DEFENSE OF THE LANDLORD. I hang up on him because i know from experience that I'll get angry if i keep trying to argue him on this. i text him to tell him that i cant communicate with him if certain subjects make him shut down and snap at me.

i decide to call him back to see if we can just talk about something else since the apartment thing is obviously a nonstarter.

he is no longer taking my texts or calls, which means he's blocked me, which he does if I'm "being abusive". this means im persona non grata for 24 hours or until he sees fit. also since I sent multiple texts (and texted him a lot today abt other/mostly apt issues stuff) he will be using that to show my "abuse".

like. what the fuck.

he blames me for being unhappy with my landlord, and when i hang up, which HE IS ALLOWED TO DO TO ME AT ANY TIME AND FRAME IT AS "SELF-PROTECTION", I am then put in the virtual doghouse.

this shit is the real reason im not going home for the holidays, even if i could afford it

the doghouse 100% exists in-person too. you just become invisible until he decides you're part of the family unit again, and it can be for ANYTHING.

always does super-wholesome activities right then too, just so you know you're outside of the family dynamic. woe be upon you if you try to make yourself visible before he chooses to

i dont talk about this aspect of my family life much and will probably delete it later, but rn im recovering from an all-nighter, and just too burnt out to hold the anger in.

like Dad is a constant source of support for me, closer than any of my friends (though the reasoning there is.... admittedly also complex) and seriously he's the only reason i can do any of what im doing. that doesnt make sense with anything ive said on this post, but both are true and it hurts my head and heart to think them both at once.

im going to go watch things, sew, and forget this.

#sometimes i post abt it just so i have the occasional reminder that im not crazy. but rly it all makes no sense #tw vent #vent #rant #tw rant #tw family issues #tw toxic family #tw parental issues #tw abuse #?????idk if it is. mine or his or who knows as i said this makes no sense #never has never will #when someone does so much for you and is the only reason you are where you are #but sometimes they also turn off your existence in their life for a day or two and you just have to live with that #i really need more ppl in my life yeesh

[usertiff]

FUCK AMERICA

(assuming this is in ref to my disability post) honestly there's lots of things to say this about like. seriously. yes, fuck america's disability system.

but overall i try to avoid saying things like that. for a few reasons. you didn't ask but i'll tell bc tbh i feel like it needs to be said?

first of all, america (as a country not a region, more specifically USA, but i may use them interchangeably here) is not the only country with widespread systemic issues. and there's a problem with acting like it is. (not you, anon, just ppl in general) because!! acting like the united states is the only country that perpetuates systemic violence/oppression/etc dims the light on other countries that are also perpetuating it, which lets them get away with a lot more. talk to a large handful of europeans or other white non-americans and they will more than likely not see an issue with their own countries. they condemn america while having the same systemic problems in their own region.

i am so tired rn and i never articulate well in the first place so i hope this makes an ounce of sense. pls continue to bare with me.

second, it's sooo shitty to not recognize the pure privilege we have living in america. yes, there's so many problems. but even as a person who lacks privilege in some areas — as someone is ethnically INDIGENOUS to this land (and has suffered at the hands of my ethnicity's most common oppressive problems: poverty, addiction, abuse, loss of ancestry, etc), as someone who is disabled, in poverty, plus sized, as someone with a mixed ethnicity family, lesbian — i still know that there is privilege to living here. yes, a lot of the privilege that others have here (cishet, thin, abled, wealthy white men being the really shiny example lol) is stripped from me, yeah shady stuff happens here within our government just like everywhere else, but like... for the most part, i can say things "freely" without fear (again, for the most part).

and like, with war happening in so many places... so many lives being lost... like... i'm grateful to be where i am. would i love to not be in america? somewhere with a prettier view? lively culture? sure, sounds nice. but it's not realistic and i have to be okay with where i'm at.

i hate certain parts of america. don't consider this post being me patriotic LMFAOOO no this place sucks for so many reasons. i hate hate hate hate so many circumstances that i'm personally in. so many aspects of my reality. so many aspects of the shittier parts of america. poverty, racism, lack of healthcare ESPECIALLY because im disabled, disability system, prison system, police infrastructure, lack of community, the list goes on...

but it's like you honestly have to accept that it's better than some alternatives. no country/land is perfect. certainly not european countries like so many claim, and there are SO many problems we have to tackle. you have to admit how privileged it is to be here.

does being here mean you have all these priveleges? obviously not. i mentioned that above. it just means i have the privelege of not fearing for my life constantly, or sldkfjsldkfj honestly idk rn

im so tired and im so sorry for like rambling ON but 1. tbh i needed to focus on something other than my own head atm, and 2. lowkey needs to be said?

#answered #sorry lmao