#i love watching people do roles they really really enjoy - there's just something about their expression that makes me happy :)

[ryanguzmansource]

Full Audio Transcript (5.21.24)

Hey guys, welcome to I've Never Said This Before with me, Tommy Didario.

If you are not watching 9-1-1 on ABC, you are seriously missing out. The show is so phenomenal that it has been renewed for an eighth season and, my guest today—well, he is phenomenal as well. In fact, he is on my show because of you. I saw all of the tweets, the DMs, the emails—all of it so, like a genie in a bottle, your wish has been granted.

The talented actor Ryan Guzman stars in the smash hit firefighter drama series 9-1-1 and audiences fell in love with his character, Eddie, the moment he debuted in Episode 1 of Season 2. Man, he has become a staple on the show and fans have been rooting for Eddie throughout the years, and Ryan plays each moment of Eddie's journey with such care and vulnerability and truth.

We have a lot to cover today and I have a feeling you're going to really enjoy this fun but also personal and deep conversation. We do dive into some very serious mental health conversations, so after the interview, I will be providing resources for anyone struggling with their own mental health. This is one of the most powerful interviews I have ever done, and I really thank Ryan for opening up in the ways that he did today because I know that he is going to help so many people out there feel less alone.

So, let's see if we can get Ryan to say something he has never said before.

[INTRO MUSIC]

Ryan, my friend, how are you doing today?

I'm good, brother. How are you?

I'm good. I know you have been working your butt off. You were just saying you were filming all night. Are you exhausted or are you on adrenaline right now?

A little mixture of both. I got a little coffee pumped through my system. But yeah, I think I worked six out of seven days this last week. We've been doing around 14, 15 hour days. And I just got off last night around 1.30 in the morning. So got home around 2.30. But we're here. We're here.

Well, you were putting in the work. Congratulations to you on all of the success with this show. It's of course now on ABC. People are loving it. The numbers are going insane. And you've always been a fan favorite from day one. When you had that first scene of you putting that shirt on in slow motion and your body was glistening and Whatta Man was playing, people just fell in love with your character. But that's not just why they love your character. I mean, over the seasons, people have found you so relatable and and really, really are truly invested in the role that you play. Why do you think that is?

I like to say that, I mean, I try to play as grounded as I can, but I think the story itself is just the way Tim Minear writes the character. And I think he's always had a special connection with this kind of character. So, just indebted to how he writes and the connectivity between Eddie and his son. I mean, it's just like it pulls at the heartstrings, you know, and that's always been a fan favorite as well. So, you know, I'm living in gratitude for everything that's been written for that character and I try to do as much justice as I can.

Well, you're nearing the end of Season 7 and past seasons for you have been a bit heavier, a bit more intense. You've really gone through quite a lot of things that we'll touch on a bit later, which I know is also part of the reason why so many people relate to you. Are you enjoying this journey this season?

Yeah, you know what? I haven't really been able to kind of flex my humorous side and just kind of lightheartedness, kind of a vibe about Eddie, and I love that aspect of him. So while everybody else is kind of going through chaos, while Cap is going through chaos, Eddie is kind of, you know, trying to keep everybody together while, you know, Chimney and Hen be going at it during the tsunami and The Poseidon Adventure, Eddie is just, you know, being there for everybody as much as he can. So not to say that he's always going to be happy because Tim always has this thing about saying, you know, if I just let you guys be happy, then there'd be no story. You got to have some kind of drama. Nobody wants to show up just for people smiling all the time. But yeah, we've got some things in store for the rest of the season. And from what we've already shot, I've been super pleased about, you know, this new way of life for Eddie.

Like I said, the things you've gone through are intense throughout the years. Do you have any fear stepping into this role or any anxiety before you had to film some of those more intense scenes? Because it's a lot.

Yeah, you know what? Prior to 9-1-1, I might have had some fears about the depth of a lot of the things that we shot. I honestly didn't really call myself an actor until like maybe three and a half years ago.

No.

Yeah. I thought I was just fooling everybody, trying to get jobs and land the movies that I was getting. And then I think somewhere around the third season, a co-star of mine kind of, like, metaphorically slapped me in the face and said, you know, let's really get into this, man. You got some really good opportunity here. So that's when I started calling myself an actor. But to be honest, the depth of Eddie in the past three, four seasons has been amazing as just a class. It's been class for me. It's been an opportunity to flex these emotions that I don't get to flex in my day-to-day life and to access certain things and see how far can I push Eddie, how, you know, in the scene where Eddie is just losing his stuff and he's breaking everything in his house. Obviously, I've never done it in my house, but how do I get there? How can I allow the audience to feel what I'm feeling? And that task itself becomes a challenge. And I really [like] that type of challenge. So again, living in gratitude for all the little things that Eddie presents that, you know, I haven't really been presenting my own life.

So with that being said, is there a storyline that's particularly special to you for any given reason?

I kind of lean automatically towards the military/PTSD just because I have a cousin who served six tours and, you know, he shared with me—and I actually, oddly enough, during the episode of Eddie Begins, I brought him on as a military tech and he helped out everybody in the production. His name is Randy Hudson. I, you know, I love that guy to death—but, yeah, he's shared with me a lot of his issues that he's gone through and a lot of the obstacles he's gone through in his day to day life and what it's like to be a military vet coming back and kind of assimilating back into civilian lifestyle. So that storyline always kind of held a special place in my heart just because it was very close connected with me and my own family. And I always hope that, you know, I did it justice enough for everybody that has that story ingrained in them.

I think you definitely did. I saw a lot of comments when I announced you as my guest saying that that was a very meaningful part of your journey on this show. I'm so curious, you know, quite often in television it moves so fast, there's always rewrites or so much going on. Was there ever a story that you wanted to come to fruition that never did?

I hated the fact that we killed off Shannon so quick. I know she wasn't a very likable character for so many different reasons, but I always loved working with Devin. So I would love to explore a little bit more with that. But yeah, there's always beauty and chaos a little bit. So I would have loved the relationship, mother, father, parenting style aspect of Eddie's life to be a more explored, but unfortunately that can't happen anymore.

There's always so many things going on. I'm sure it's hard to fit them into each episode, and I'm sure things do have to get cut because major things keep happening episode after episode, one of them being recently, of course, Buck realized he's Bi and that's a storyline everyone's going crazy over. Did you see that coming? Were you like, I think one day this is going to happen for him?

Well, I mean, it's always kind of been in the ether. Everybody, you know, all the fans, you know, have their speculations about Eddie and Buck and, you know, for the longest time, I think Oliver and I again had lightheartedness to it. We always kind of like saw it as like, oh, at least they're so interested in our characters. Thank God they're interested in our characters. They're not ignoring us, and I don't know if either of us had a pinpoint, you know, idea on which character or if any character would actually lead in that way.

But again, all credit to Tim Minear. He's the one that knows the way. So he chose Buck's character to explore that route. And now seeing it happen in front of our eyes, it makes so much sense. And it just the way him, Buck and Tommy are getting together and the way they're exploring their own individuality and personality. It's beautiful to watch. I was very excited to see, you know, that episode specifically, just for the fact that it was such a moment between, you know, a friend and another friend who had held this huge secret. And how do you come out to your friend?

I had a friend, you know—because I know I've had this actually in my own personal life. I've said this in prior interviews—I had a friend who was deadly scared of coming out to me. And I realized that that moment itself wasn't so much the journey for me, you know, it was this hard journey for himself. And all I had to do was catch. I just had to be there for him, and I was like, that moment itself is so beautiful. I can't wait to do that scene. I can't wait to, you know, show the world like this is how you be there for your brother.

Wow, how cool that you could pull from your real life experience and make that scene even more special, which is why I think it came off so incredibly powerful. It really was so cool to see. And the reception has been absolutely incredible in terms of people feeling like, you know, they're seen through that character and it's on prime-time TV. And you don't see a ton of that, which is still kind of crazy. But, you know, and of course, there were some negative comments, which blows my mind. I mean, I'm sure that blew your mind, too, to see that because who cares, right?

Honestly, I've got this now filter for negative comments. They just kind of seep right through and I don't even hold on to anything. So all I've seen is really, really good comments.

And one of the best parts is actually I've gone to work and Oliver himself has been like telling me these stories of people saying, man, I did not have the strength to come out until way later on in my life. So I'm like, oh man, could you imagine 20, 30 years of holding on to this repressed thing and then it just eating away at you and not being able to say anything, even to the closest people and then seeing something on television to inspire you. That kind of thing is just like, whoa, okay, we're doing something much greater, much bigger than us.

He's not the only one inspiring its characters like you because you're showing, you know, what an ally means, and I think that's really cool to see this like macho, cool guy that's just like, cool, like who cares? And that's also equally as powerful and as important. Before we put a pin on this, you know, part of the conversation, you mentioned you never know what the writers are going to do, and I think there were talks at one point of possibly Eddie being the one to come out in some sort of way. Do you laugh and have fun with all of the fandom's obsession with you as Eddie and Buck getting together? Like, is that something you guys always are seeing and hearing? And I know everyone brings it up to you and it's something that's always looming. Like, how do you react to that? Does it ever get tiring for you?

Again, if the fans are interested, we're doing our job. So I love the love. And I mean, unfortunately, I'm not the one that writes it. So it's all up to Tim. But me and Oliver have a really good time with the fact that, you know, people are so invested into these storylines. And in fact, they're so invested, they're creating their own storylines. They're sending us clips and edits and videos. And, you know, every now and then, Oliver will show me something, I'll show Oliver something. Like, did we actually do this in a scene? Because they cut it so well together.

Yeah.

So, yeah, I think at the end of the day, you know, we just love the love. We're here to entertain and tell the truth. If it's true to the character, then yeah.”

[COMMERCIAL BREAK]

You can't predict the future. Nobody can on this show. But if the opportunity one day happened to come your way where they were like, this storyline might be explored between Buck and Eddie, would you be open to that storyline in the future? I see you smiling. I see Oliver had the same reaction, a big ass grin on his face when I asked this.

Yeah, you know, like I said, it's got to live in the truth and I think right now we live in a moment—or me, I live moment to moment—so I love the fact that the biggest plot point between these two characters is one happens to be Bi, one happens to be Hetero, and they have this vulnerability towards each other. And that is the truth to me is it's the fact that you have such a safe space and it doesn't matter your sexuality, that you have a safe space to talk to this individual and he can fully accept you. If we can stay with that, then whatever happens, happens.

But I don't necessarily want to push the fact that because you're vulnerable, you have to be one way or the other in your sexuality. Then I would hate to have a lot of other men who are struggling mentally and not sure about, oh, do I even open up? Because will that make me something that I'm not? I would hate to push that narrative. So if we live in the truth, whatever happens, happens. And again, I'm here for it all.

Whatever happens, happens. That's a nice way to put it. And I agree with you. I think there's power in both. I think there's power in showing a strong friendship that you don't always get to see. And then there's power if something eventually does happen. So whatever happens, happens. I like that, man. What can we expect for the rest of the season with your characters? Anything you can tease? The finale is coming up. We have a couple more weeks. What can we expect?

What can we expect? Well, we can expect that Eddie's smiles might turn to frowns.

Oh no.

Or at least confusion, maybe. We'll start to see, you know, has he gotten past certain traumas? Or is he just kind of pushed them to the side and acting like they're not there?

You know, I have to say a lot of people are still holding on to hope that we're going to get that karaoke scene.

I mean, yeah, we had such a good time playing that karaoke scene, and it was kind of a let down a little bit to know that it wasn't going to be in there. But now, again, looking at the episode itself, as fun as it would be, the main story was Chimney. And the way Kenneth Choi played Chimney, and that episode specifically—I mean, I think he got, you know, performance of the week for that—it would have been a disservice to add, you know, a three-minute scene of us laughing and having a great time and being drunks and karaoke and take away from that performance. So I'm glad that Tim made that decision, and I don't know if he has any plans on showing that later on or whatnot or having some extended clip version, but I can tell you this much, everybody from the cast to the crew to the background had a wild and crazy time doing that scene.

And I think what I just heard you say is you might accidentally drop it on your Instagram very soon.

I might get fired if I do that.

All right. Well, we'll see. I'll talk to ABC PR. No problem. What do you want to see for season eight? Like, are you thinking about the future? Is there like, OK, if I can have my way, I absolutely want to explore blank.

To be honest, there's so much going at us so rapid, so fast paced at this moment. The scripts are getting handed in like quick as can be. So we have a moment's notice to kind of know what we're doing and where we're going with our character. From what I know, from what I've shot thus far, I think next season will literally be a refresh button to Eddie. And starting over in so many different ways, so many new ways in which Eddie has never explored and we've never seen Eddie explore. He'll be on his own in a lot of areas.

Speaking of that, I have to bring up season five, the mental health breakdown, man. That was intense. And a lot of people felt very connected to that. How was it stepping into that scene for you and that storyline? Because it's pretty powerful.

Thank you. Man, that was cathartic, to be honest. It was I've gone through my own mental health issues as far as like, you know, my own depression and anxiety, and, you know, I was raised in an age where men aren't vulnerable and aren't allowed to show feelings. So that kind of repression is like a ticking time bomb, you know, especially for a person in Eddie's life, or his lifestyle. So to kind of relinquish this boundary of who Ryan is and step into Eddie and just kind of just full-on dive deep into these this well of emotion, it was, it was almost like therapy. It was crazy because, you know, from the second they started to say rolling, it's like my—I started to, you know, start bawling and crying, and when Buck comes in and, you know, he's trying to check in on me and the whole room is just all scattered around and I'm losing it—it's just like there was no semblance of Ryan anymore. It was just all Eddie and he was just lost, and that's what it is.

It's like if I were to look at my son, you know, five year old son, that's kind of what we revert back to is just this child that is just so scared and not having any sense of direction and—or hope that anybody will ever love him or ever see him. And it's just these like, you know, existential fears that come out within those tears, and that was my goal to portray that whole scene and then the scene following it. So to get there was just let go, just let go.

Well, the work you did was clearly honest and raw and vulnerable. You can't fake the work that you did in that. And it was really a powerful man for many people to kind of go through that with you and for people who have had their own experiences. And you're right, like, I'm from an old school Italian family. And, you know, you grow up thinking men don't go through that and men don't show those emotions. So to have that on prime-time TV is huge.

Yeah, I hope that helped out a lot of people. I hope that people were actually able to see that and at least, you know, go to their best guy friend, and, you know, I think that's what really needs to happen. As far as men, we need to lean on each other. You know, women have their own issues and they have their certain way of connecting with each other, but there's a special connection that you can have with your brother. And I give so much credit to quite a few of my personal brothers—including my actual brother—for allowing me to run to them in my moments of need, in my moments of feeling lost. And them, you know, being men themselves, not having to say one thing to me.

Or they can just, you know, if they see me in a moment of, you know, deep into a problem, they have the ability to say, well, here's a solution. And since I'm, you know, of like mind, I can be like, okay, you know what? Thank you for giving me some kind of direction. So yeah, I implore all men out there to kind of at least have one or two in your corner, you know, because we can't get anywhere without community.

Absolutely. What have you most learned about yourself through playing this character for so many years? You know, you joined in season two. It's been a lot of years now under your belt. Have you thought about that? Have you learned anything through playing, Eddie?

I've learned a lot through Eddie. I've learned patience. He's a—you know, he has a sense of patience that I didn't have in the beginning even prior to being a father, you know, and then kids itself, they teach you how to be patient. So, yeah, I've learned how to be there as a father. Kind of oddly enough, it was just living as one onscreen prior to actually being one in real life, it gave me, say, practice. I get to practice on television what I get to implore with my own children. And, you know, even if it's the worst thing for Eddie, you know, and I see him doing something horrible, at least I come back home, like, well, that can't happen. I can't do that with my kids. So, yeah, and in so many ways, it's helped me grow as a man, let alone a father.

That's pretty awesome when you can take things away from your job like that and become a better person. I love that so much. Can you believe you've been on the show for so long now? Do you ever think like, damn, that's not normal. That's the rarity in the business. So is that a cool feeling for you?

Yeah, I literally just had that moment yesterday. We were filming a scene, all of us, the whole cast, and I'm sitting outside—I can't tell you the location, that's going to blow something—I'm sitting outside one of the sets and I just had that moment to myself. I'm like, oh my God, I'm actually here. How did I get so lucky to be on not only just a television show, the number one television show out there, where we're in our seventh season and we're creating numbers that people don't even get in their first season? So again, if there's a moment to tap into, let's get into that gratitude again and just be super thankful that I was lucky enough to land this.

[COMMERCIAL BREAK]

That is so cool, and that's why I have no doubt you'll continue having so much success in your career and in your personal life because you keep bringing up gratitude, and it's very evident that's something you lead your life with. And in fact, I saw a recent Instagram post where you give a beautiful tribute to Twitch, and you credit him with being able to form connection with people in your life now and to different things and places, and I thought that was such a beautiful way to show people that you're working on yourself and you're a work in progress and that he helps you kind of open your eyes. So that was a really cool moment for you to also reveal.

Thank you, yeah. Yeah, I believe so much of the world right now is showcasing a polished version of themselves. And to be honest, I did it myself for so long that I've become tired of it, and I would much rather get to the raw—the raw, the unfiltered, the, you know, the mess ups, the, you know—I've stuck my foot in my mouth too many times. I've done, you know, stupid things in my life, and I never want to present myself as a person that does everything great because there's so many things I suck at.

So I think there's an opportunity within that rawness to invite others to become raw themselves, and for us to see that, you know, we're not competing with each other, we're competing with ourself and our own image of ourself and friends like, you know, a brother like, like Twitch, you know, and—not understanding what he was going through and that lack of connectivity that I always, you know, felt but never acted on, which again, I felt imposter syndrome for so long of calling him my brother. It really struck a chord in me and now I can't go backwards. Now I'm propelled forward to be like, is this conversation authentic between us or are we just kind of saying what we have to say just so we can pass on to the next person and create whatever that is? And I'm not here for that. I would much rather have that depth and I'd much rather have that rawness.

Beautifully said and a perfect segue into what I want to finish this conversation with, which is based off the title of the show: I've Never Said This Before. So I'm wondering, is there anything that comes to mind that you want to share today that you've never shared before?

Uh. Huh. Yeah, you know what? I've been thinking about this for so long and there's so many things, you know, that come to mind. One specifically, and I've been hesitant to actually say any of this for so long because, you know, it's been years upon years.

About six and a half, seven years ago—and I've really never said this out loud, especially onto a public platform—I had my own mental health crisis and I tried at one point in time to take my own life. And luckily, it didn't work. Luckily, I got a second chance by the grace of God. And from that moment forward, I've taken each step as an opportunity to erase what got me there and build on what allowed me to live forward. So I would say that that moment itself, in addition to what happened to my brother Twitch, are probably the two biggest fundamental moments of my entire life and have allowed me to have a deeper sense of mercy and empathy towards every individual.

So I would implore that all men renounce this fact of, you know, you're a tough man, you have to hold all this in, but lean on your brother, really lean on your brother. And if your brothers aren't being there in the way they need to be, find some new ones. Because that's another thing, if you don't have the people that are conducive to a healthy lifestyle and you're keeping on to them because of loyalty, let them go. There's plenty of other people. There's people that have been through your situation before that are willing and more than willing, you know, to help. So yeah, that was a big one.

Man, first of all, thank you for sharing something so personal and close to your heart with me today. I feel honored that you did open up and share that. And I'm truly—God, this could be another half hour conversation, so I'll keep it short—but I'm truly grateful that you are spreading that message today for anybody listening because, you know, mental health is a crisis and I think people sometimes look at you, they look at me, they think everything's perfect. We are, you know, in this public space and what can be wrong?

And when you humanize real shit like that, it makes people feel less alone. And you got through it, you realize that wasn't the right way to go about it and your life forever changed for the better, and I'm truly grateful that you put that message out today because you have no idea how many people you're going to be helping with that. And I truly know that that's something that's not easy to get off your chest. And for that, I thank you and I know so many people will be thanking you, and I hope you feel kind of like a little bit of a weight lifted that you share that hopefully.

Yeah, it's kind of hard to understand what I'm feeling at the moment. But I hope in what you said is true. And I hope that, again, I would love to do more for mental health, especially for men, I mean, just in general, to be honest. But yes, I hope that there is a new wave out there that's kind of taking over that we can actually have some cohesiveness and connection, a true understanding of what connection is. Let's revisit that. So this issue isn't a common issue anymore. If we can take that down, then let's do it. I'm here for it.

Beautifully said, and thank you again for sharing that. I could talk to you for hours, especially leaving with that. I think you're such a cool person. And you watch people, I get to talk to people all the time. But this to me was a real conversation, and that's what I value. That's why I have a show called I've Never Said This Before, and I want to talk about the projects that the fans love, but also leave room to talk about things that matter. I don't think there's enough of that. So I truly thank you for hanging out, for coming on, for talking about the fun of 911, which we all love, and it's killing it in every way, but also sharing a little piece of you. I hope you enjoyed the conversation as much as I have.

Thanks for having me, my man. Yeah, I had a great time.

Thank you, and remind everyone where, how, when, all the things about your show.

Yes, please watch Thursdays at 8 on ABC.

All right, and stay tuned for the karaoke scene that you just promised you will be dropping.

Yeah, maybe when I'm fired again.

All right, man, until we meet again, take care.

All right, brother.

#ryan guzman #may 2024 #i've never said this before #transcribed #5.21.24

[the-passenger-if]

hi Pime! Is it too early to ask questions about your new project yet? ROs and characters and setting and stuff? Sorry if this sounds pushy, that’s not intended!

Not at all! I enjoy talking about my IFs <3

Since I'm working on two projects I'll give you a quick rundown of both of them. First,

❆❆❆Leesangre❆❆❆

This game is set in the southernmost tip of South America in a distant future after a cataclysm wipes out most of humanity and the Earth turns into a big snow globe.

The main character travels in a caravan along with their family/clan which are also the only people they have ever interacted with, 1. because there aren't a lot of human beings around, just small settlements, and 2. because their family doesn't want other people to know about the main character. The lack of contact with other human beings and their constant dependency on their family has made the main character very sheltered.

The game starts after the death of the matriarch of the clan just as the main character's big brother becomes the new leader and everyone is feeling very uncertain about the future. The family consists of the main character's father (a huge mother-hen to everyone but mostly to MC and MC's niblings); the main character's brother (who has a strained relationship with MC); the mechanic of the caravan (the best mechanic in the world, or at least that's what they proclaim); the "shaman" of the caravan (a woman the caravan adopted when she was nine, she's in her late twenties at the start of the game); the main character's nephews, two teens who are also the clan's hunters, and the preteen nibling who has yet to find what role in the clan they will fulfill (these three were given to the clan when they were six, five, and one year old and they are presumably children of another big brother MC has never met); the main character's five-year-old niece and four-year-old nibling (they are the children of MC's brother and the mechanic). The clan also adopts a guy they find passed out in the snow at the start of the game (something neither the clan nor this guy really wanted but is forced onto all of them after he finds out about the main character).

The romantic options are:

Heco (they/them) — the clan's mechanic. They are thirty years old and they prefer to be maintaining the caravan than interacting with others but they don't mind people sitting in a corner and watching them work if they aren't too distracting and promise not to touch their tools. They're also the parent of MC's youngest's niblings, but they aren't in a relationship with MC's brother and never have been. It's a bit complicated.

Mo (she/her) — the curandera or shaman of the clan. If Heco is the hands of the caravan, Mo is its soul. It's impossible not to know where she is at any given time because she's a talking machine and also the type who loves to make people laugh. Of course, her jokes are hit or miss now that everyone is mourning the clan's matriarch but Mo's sense of humor can be like a runaway freight train if she isn't paying attention. (Mo is also my attempt at the friends-to-lovers trope)

Gil (he/his) — the guy the clan saves from certain death. He's in his early twenties and speaks a language that's more common in the north of the continent, so what was he doing completely alone so down south? Even though not much is known about him, he is friendly and quick to adapt to his new life in the caravan.

This game is a trilogy and I will add a few more ROs in the next books.

Project 2 is called,

˚.༄˚.༄A Song of Sirens and Soulmates (ASOSAS)˚.༄˚.༄

ASOSAS is set in modern times (2024∼) in an alternate timeline where Sirens appeared in the fifties changing the world forever. The game starts in New York but the main character and their buddy are thrown into the Siren realm around the first or second chapter so don't expect a lot NY lore.

In this alternate timeline Sirens are considered THE beauty standard with tall and toned bodies if they are male and petite and graceful figures if they are female. Also pointy ears, cavernous black eyes, and wide mouths full of sharp teeth.

Although they prefer to live in their own dimension it isn't rare to see Sirens as movie stars, runway models, and musicians. Most humans won't ever interact with this larger-than-life creatures but a few lucky ones will get claimed by the Song of the Siren, a red dot that shows up just above a person's belly button and marks them as a Siren's soulmate. Sure, leaving the human realm means never coming back but most people will take the opportunity if it means marrying and forming a family with these impossibly beautiful (and rich) beings.

Unfortunately, the main character of this game isn't interested in any of that and has been on the run since they were twenty and they were claimed. Seven years later, their betrothed finds them in a prison cell after they and their road buddy are detained at a punk show. MC is able to convince the Siren to bring said road buddy along and off they go into the Siren realm. Now MC and their ally must come up with a plan to escape before MC's wedding day befalls them.

The romantic options are:

Spook (ze/hir) — MC's ally in this mess. They met a month before the start of the game and decided to travel together for the time being. Spook is a thirty-three year old crust punk that can't stand Sirens and the power they wield over humans. Ze's also half-human and half-Siren, something ze carefully hides behind masks and dark shades. (Non-binary RO)

Verna/Vernon "Vern" Harley (she/her or he/his) — Twenty-four year old Vern is on the same boat as MC; they are a Siren's soulmate who has just arrived to this realm. Unlike MC, however, they've completely bought into the Siren fantasy and can't wait to marry and form a big family with their betrothed. Vern might not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but they are a sweetheart and painfully candid. They are a breath of fresh air among the sneers of the Sirens. (Gender choosable RO)

Camille Abadi (she/her or he/his) — In their mid to late thirties, Camille has been married to their Siren for a longer time than they've been single. They speak with the tiniest trace of a french accent, which is hard to notice when they so seldom speak. They are very polite and attentive but a hard person to get to know on a deeper level. (Gender choosable RO)

#ask #hope my blurbs make sense xD #leesangre #asosas

[jellicle-chants]

Another gem pulled up from the dark depths of Youtube. Demeter is apparently played by Anna Barrett, and she and Bombalurina's actress were only 16 at time of performance.

#cats the musical #cate talks cats #bombalurina #demeter cats #i love digging up old amateur productions on youtube because sometimes you find great stuff like this #maybe i should make this a recurring thing? or at least make a tag for it lol #both these girls are absolutely killing it and seem to be having the time of their lives doing so! #i love watching people do roles they really really enjoy - there's just something about their expression that makes me happy :) #Youtube

[feninina]

𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐝𝐨𝐭𝐞 ༉‧₊˚.⁀➷

therapist! jonathan crane x female reader.

𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆: when your father decided that you needed therapy, taking you to his dear friend dr. crane to treat and help you, you thought it wouldn't work at all, but it turned out to be everything you needed.

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: SMUT(minors dni!!), noncon/dubcon, depression, cursing, crane is a mysoginistic prick, using therapy for unhinged reasons, smut, hair pulling, jonathan just being an creep, choking AND strangulation, dacryphilia, hitting, unprotected sex (safe sex its great sex!!), breeding kink, forced breeding, power dynamics, i think crane should be a warning himself, reader being borderline stupid and naive. also this has a lot of backstory i’m so sorry i got carried away lol.

𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁: 7.1K

𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗿’𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲: omg my first fic on here!! this is also my first work on english and my first smut ever so i apologise in advance for any mistake!! i hope y'all enjoy it anyways ahahahaha live laugh love jonathan crane👏🏻 feedback its very appreciated so i can improve and continue to publish better works, anyways enjoyyyy 💓

𝘀𝗺𝘂𝘁 𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝘂𝘁

It was awkward, to say the least.

You were sitting across from Doctor Crane in the couch at your dad's house, legs crossed as you watched him write on his clipboard, something about it making you feel anxious, a little nauseous, even.

This wasn't your first session, you started doing this four months ago, not long after your divorce that caused you to fall into a spiral of sadness and misery. Your failed— and short marriage was the main reason you started taking therapy with your dad's friend, the chief of Arkham, Jonathan Crane, and still, you couldn't bring yourself to talk about it.

He was patient, you told him several times that he was a saint. Regardless, before you started with the sessions, he explained to your dad that he didn't really do this; therapy really wasn't his strong suit, but for a friend, a desperate one, he would gladly do it.

Your dad came to him, offering a big stack of money if he would talk to his little girl, make her recover her once joyful personality, like you had one to begin with. Jonathan really couldn't say no, and not really because of the money, he had other reasons in mind, unethical reasons.

And there you were now. You were quick to open up to him, eager to talk, to be listened and he, on the other hand, was ready to listen, to give you advice, console you and help you get through the sorrow that was following you since you were young, playing the role of your knight in shinning armor.

"I can't believe you don't actually do this" you said once, sniffling your nose with a handkerchief he gave you as he examined you with a warm gaze, an empathetic grin on his face. "You're really helping me"

Jonathan was quick to wave his hand and tell you that it wasn't a big deal, that he was just doing his job, and if you weren't so innocent, so stupid, you would have noticed the mischievous sparkle that flickered in his eyes for a split second.

You were landing right in the palm of his hand.

Not even thirty minutes into the first session you told him everything about your past; every little thing you thought he needed to know to treat you. And you were slightly right; he did need to know those things, but not to treat you, just to manipulate you and mold your little brain into what he was envisioning for you and your future together.

Truth was, you hated everything about your life, regardless of the fact that you had everything. That's what you've been told since you were a child; a big house, a lot of money, maids taking care of you so you wouldn't have to move a finger and just sit pretty and relax inside the walls of the huge mansion that confined you since you could recall.

You have everything. That was bullshit.

Sometimes, you couldn't help but think that people told you that out of pity, like they knew how miserable you felt, but not daring to say a word about it. Your dad was a powerful man, and you were aware of that, ever since you were born, he had bussines with Falcone and you knew that people feared him, he practically ruled Gotham, that lifeless and dangerous city that you had to live in.

You have everything. You were tired of that sentence. You didn't care at all about these nice things surrounding you, those dresses in your closet, those diamonds in your jeweler, that fancy car you owned since your eighteenth birthday, no, that was useless in your eyes, because all you really wanted, was love.

It was a lonely life; you learned how to do everything by yourself, how to comb your hair, how to deal with your period when it first came, how to dress up properly and do your makeup. You didn't even had to learn about boy problems because there weren't any boys in your life, you were homeschooled. So you were quiet, not really having to talk at all, there was nobody to talk to.

And since Jonathan was the only person you were talking to at the moment, you started to feel like you loved him, the idea sitting right with you without you even knowing it, thinking that this was how therapy normally went.

Loneliness striked your life at a young age; your mother died from a strange disease when you were eight, leaving you with a shattered heart thad bled everytime you walked past her bedroom, or saw a picture of her. You practically watched her die, a witness of how she lost her strength, how her once beautiful skin turned pale and yellow, and lost every little spark within herself, and the worst part was that all the money you had, couldn't even help her.

It was a deep wound that you carried with yourself, with nobody to talk about it.

Your father spent his days locked up in his office, and when he wasn't there, he was out in the city doing unthinkable things that you didn't even wanted to know about, leaving you on your own, having to fill all of those silent and empty rooms by yourself, with nobody to laugh with, nobody to hold you and see you grow. He wasn't really around, working all the time, too busy to know that his daughter didn't seem to care about all the expensive stuff he bought for her, not even taking the time to have dinner with you or hold a simple conversation. He loved you, you knew that, he just wasn't the type to show his affection with words or actions, but with gifts. And you hated everything about it.

But now, Jonathan was there, making you feel listened, finally saving you from falling into loneliness again. Your whole life, you thought you had a horrible sickness, that you were doomed to this awful destiny of sorrow and silence, but now, with his sweet words and good company, you couldn't be more than relieved.

You wished sometimes that you met him earlier, that this whole therapy stuff started before, and you even confessed it to him. And it irked him a little, that you didn't even remember how you two really met each other, hiding his annoyance with a warm smile.

Some months ago, your father started to brought you to parties he attended, parties were all the corrupts scumbags from Gotham reunited and celebrated how they were dragging the city to the gates of hell on their benefit, and you couldn't be more happy to attend them. You knew he was bringing you because he recently broke up with the young girl he carried with him— that was most likely your age, and needed a pretty thing to hang of his arm and take care of the people he didn't feel like talking to.

So you accepted this new life, eating up this role of socialite like it was made for you.

It was a chance to know people, to speak and make new friends, but you learned quickly that those people weren't there for that, and picked up on how mostly of the people who talked to you just wanted to climb up the social ladder and gain some extra points from your father.

He, even, introduced you to a couple of people that seemed close to your age, and you chatted with them, feeling extremely anxious because you weren't used to this, so it was weird to them seeing such a pretty woman, with your status and fortune, acting so shy and quiet in a place that your dad practically owned.

After a couple of hours, you learned the agenda. All you had to do was put on a fake smile, get them off your father's shoulders and pretend you were very interested in what they had to say, hiding your uncomfortable expression behind your glass of champagne, promising them that you would arrange a reunion with your father someday.

One of those nights, your father introduced you to someone, someone who you didn't pay much attention because he seemed to be uninterested too, only being there for the sake of his job.

"Pretty girl, come here" your father said, a cheerful tone of voice as grabbed you by the shoulder to get your attention, snapping you out of your train of thoughts. "I want you to meet my friend, Doctor Crane"

You looked at the man in front of your dad, his pale blue eyes already sizing you up discretely, looking at you up and down in a way that didn't go unnoticed by you, a shiver running down your spine as his eyes finally locked with yours.

You couldn't help but feel small under his gaze, your glass now forgotten in your left hand, the right one extended to take his and stretch it for a quick second, returning to your first position, his expression remaining serious.

"Nice to meet you" he spoke, his voice sounding like velvet in your eyes, not quite sensing the undertone behind it. "Your father told me wonders about you"

You grin, the irony of that sentence making you laugh a little, what wonders could your father know about you? But you kept your composure, the conversation not going any further, and you forgot about him fast enough, when in another of those annoying parties you met the love of your life — or so you thought.

That same night, when you went back home, you were thinking about spending the rest of your life with some guy that flirted with you at the bar, and Jonathan, prayed to whatever thing listening to him up there, that crossed your path with his again.

He practically obsessed with you, because it felt right. You were young, beautiful, wealthy and had a last name that could open even more doors for him, getting tired of saving Falcone's man of going to jail; you were an opportunity, tied to a nice pair of legs.

After a few weeks of stalking, it kinda broke his heart that naive as he expected you, you got married to the guy from the party; he told you then his name was Lewis, and now you doubted it that was even true.

You were finally going to get what you always wished for, a family, love. And it was perfect. Everything was perfect.

It was a dream that you were living in. A dream that shattered in front of you no longer than three months after.

After you contracted married with this man, you took care of the house, now learning all of these housewife duties that you didn't know anything about, but making your best effort to please him, to be the perfect woman ever created, departing from your old life and habits and adjusting them to his own.

You couldn't be more happy, regardless of your bad cooking, the bad-swiped floor and the half-done bed that welcomed you both every night, you finally had love.

It lasted three months. Your wholesome real life fantasy of a marriage destroyed when you found out, accidentally, that this man was just an employee of your dad, willing to get a promotion if he married you. At that moment, you didn't know who you hated more, if the bastard, or your dad who was literally bribing the bastard to love you.

But your dad only wanted to make you happy, tho.

You were embarrassed, not quite sure of how to tell this to Jonathan, because after all, he was there for you, just for the money your dad was paying him. Your cursed the day your dad became rich, because all of it was making you miserable and it felt like it wasn't going to stop.

At this point, a feeling of despite against you was growing within Jonathan, after a few weeks treating you, he quickly remembered why he didn’t chose this path of career, but remembering that he was there because of a major reason; a reason more important than your helpless cries for attention.

He was sick of you, all you ever did was complain in the commodity of your million dollar house, unaware that there were more important problems in the world. It isn’t completely your fault, Jonathan thought one day, you were just an ungrateful brat, and his work was to tame you, and he planned to do just that today.

"So," he startled you, narrowing his eyebrows, an expression in his face that you could only understand as concern. "remember, if you don't speak, I can't help you".

You chuckle and shift your weight in the chair, immediately feeling your eyes fill up with tears as you confronted the fact that you had to speak about it, right now. He was quick to offer you his handkerchief, as he always did and with shaky hands you took it, sniffling onto it, closing your eyes as you felt your whole body shake with each one of your cries.

You felt Jonathan put his hand on your knee, softy caressing the skin that his thumb could reach, opening your eyes and looking at his, Jonathan welcoming you with a pitying look. You put the tissue aside, both him being so close and his scent impregnated on the piece of fabric making you feel a little giddy, a little confused.

Why was your heart racing so much? He was your therapist, here to talk about your former husband.

Jonathan couldn't help but grin a little, knowing he was maybe breaking a rule here, touching you like this, being so close. He couldn't care less, after all, he wasn't here listening to you cry and bitch about your whole life for the sake of your well-being. He was here because he wanted you to break and get on your knees to him. Figuratively and literally.

"It's so embarrassing" you struggled to spit out "He didn't even love me, Doctor"

He hummed, dragging his chair so he was a little closer to you, you looked at him through your teary lashes and tried to keep it together, this wasn't the first time you cried in front of him, but the reason itself was enough to make you feel full of shame.

He didn't say anything, this being a motivation for you to continue.

"My dad was paying him" you murmured, cleaning the mascara off your cheeks. "It was all a lie"

The whole situation was absurd, what happened to you still felt like a sick joke they were playing on you, your dad and Lewis, probably waiting for the perfect moment to tell you the truth.

But that wasn't going to happen, right now the only thing that felt true to you was Jonathan. He set you up to that, and you blindly fell on his silly trap.

"Poor thing" he cooed you, moving his hand a little further up your thigh, noticing the goosebumps on your skin. A mastermind, that's how he felt. "How could they?"

That was all the mendacity he fed you with since you started seeing him, making you believe he was actually empathizing with you, full of loathe against everyone who hurt you, who dared to leave you alone, but now he was there, his task being to pretend to care.

"It's pathetic" you blurted out, leaning into his touch when his prying hand went up to your cheek. You really couldn't say anything more, crying against his hand like it was something you did every monday morning. "I'm so sad. I don't know what to do"

He shook his face, your eyes meeting his with a confused expression, black stained tears dropping on your lap and wetting his hand before he returned it and looked over his clipboard, pretending to think.

You were so vulnerable, ready for him to destroy. He finally got you where he wanted. He then explained you that you were so sad that it made you unaware of a lot of things, blinded by your own pity against yourself that every door that opened, you closed. It all came down to a thing; you needed a diagnosis.

He gave you a moment to process the information, ready to continue with his plan.

"Actually," he started, his tone now more firm, more strict, the one he used when you were approaching the end of the session. On the last one, he recommended you to touch yourself, to liberate oxytocin on your brain or something you really didn't understood.

It was almost evil from his side, he knew that your only thought while doing it would he him ordering you to do so.

"I'm sorry to be the bearer of such awful news, Y/N" he stated, making your heart skip a beat. "But I think you're sick"

You nearly gasped, the air got stuck in your throat, more tears gathering in your eyes. You lifted one of your hands to your chest, a million thoughts crossing your head as Jonathan's clever eyes examined your expression.

Bingo.

"Sick" you repeated after a moment, almost like you were making peace with the revelation. "How sick?"

It was an innocent question, your tone of voice shaking as your inferior lip trembled, holding it with your teeth in an attempt to not burst into tears again, your whole body feeling like it was going to break into a million peaces by how much you were shaking in the couch.

Jonathan was quick, standing from the chair he was on and taking a seat by your side, his hand swiftly placing in your knee. You looked at him confused, he never got this close, maybe your sickness was serious.

"What am I, Doctor?" you whispered, your eyes showing him a hint of fear that made him finally lose all his faked professionalism. "Depressed? Crazy?"

Both of you were dying of anticipation now; meanwhile you feared that you were going to get admitted to Arkham, Jonathan was seeing the golden ticket to the best future he could ever achieve, and all thanks to you.

"Oh, no, no" he purred, his hand making its way up to your thigh. "You're sick, not crazy"

You parted your lips as his hand moved more further, not really sure of what was happening, not daring to stop him, too scared of your mental health to think about anything else, not helping the way your legs started to part too.

A sudden gasp left your lips as his hand squeezed your tight, a smile you never saw on him appearing on his face. The crying stopped a moment ago, the surprise of having him so close making you go a little numb.

"I know what a girl like you needs" he said, almost sternly, like his hand wasn't centimeters away from your panties.

Was in that moment, that you knew this wasn’t about therapy anymore.

"You think so?" you whispered, your voice still shaky, but now for a whole different reason. "And what is it, Doctor?"

"To be fucked stupid"

It almost shocked you how he said that as it was a normal diagnosis, like he gave you a name of a medicine you could go and buy at any drugstore in town. You gulped and didn't move when his grip tightened on your leg, your face growing red.

A loud gasp escaped your lips when at your lack of response, Jonathan grabbed you hard by the jaw and forced you to look at him. Your eyes glistened with nothing but fear, your brows narrowing as you mumbled something that he really couldn't understand, and it wasn't like he wanted to.

"You're sick, Y/N" he repeated, more harshly this time, his hand moving your head as he spoke. "And I'm going to cure you"

He let go of your face to clasp his lips against yours, a kiss very far away from sweet, his mouth moving roughly against yours. You never had been kissed like this, so you tried to play it along, trying to show him some of the love you felt for him, that you thought you owed him.

But he didn't care if you felt loved during the kiss, trying to assert the dominance he held upon you, his hand now holding firmly the back of you neck to prevent you from pulling away.

It was a mess; your teeth clashed, drool was dripping from your chin as his tongue explored every space of your mouth, not leaving anywhere of it untouched. Your movements were a little stiff, unsure of what to do, trying to provide the sweetness that he lacked.

His hand moved to your the front of your neck and squeezed it a little, making you yelp in surprise, the sound muffled by his mouth. You tried to get away from the kiss, confused about his rough actions against you, a little scared of him even, almost like you didn’t trust him every little part of your brain in this same couch for the last couple of months.

But then it clicked on your foggy brain, he knew you, perfectly— you only knew his name, you didn’t know what this man was capable of.

You could only move a few centimeters away from his hungry mouth, your lips parted as tears welled in your eyes from the pressure he was applying to your neck.

“Stop” you managed to stutter, your breath mixing with his. “I can’t- breathe”

You doubted that he listened to you, your voice not coming out of your throat at all and getting stuck in your larynx, your voice-box completely muffled by his strong grip.

“Shut up, brat” he spitted, his tone sounding full of abhor, your eyes wide open as you felt the air leaving your body and your lungs starting to burn. “Always getting what you want”

You weakly placed one of your hands around his wrist, another attempt of gasp elicited from your agape mouth as he lifted his other hand and choked you with both, something in your dizzy mind telling you that he was possessed.

“Crying all the time- complaining” he continued, not caring if you were listening, the suffocation being to much to bare now. “So selfish”

And maybe he was.

Your brain was filled with fear, wondering how it all went from a kiss to this— almost getting killed by your therapist in your couch. You opened your eyes to meet his, feeling like your chest was on fire as there wasn’t any air flowing in, seeing how the blue of Jonathan’s eyes has darkened and his lips were parted as well, the muscles of his jaw twitching as he choked you to death.

Your eyebrows narrowed together in terror as you noticed that familiar tingly sensation in your lower belly and your thighs clenching together. Maybe it was something about him exercising this power over you, how you felt so feeble under his touch, that was probably leaving bruises on your neck for you to carry and show around what he was making you do it.

You didn’t have enough time to think about it, you were practically dying.

“And you are enjoying this?” he said with an amused tone, probably noticing how your thighs fragily contracted against one another.

You felt yourself slowly lose your consciousness when finally the relief came and the air started to flow again to your desperate lungs, taking long and loud puffs of air when his hand let go of your neck. Your erratic breath was interrupted by a loud moan that escaped you when Crane yanked you by your hair and shoved you to the floor.

He was quick yo position you between his legs, looking at you through his unfixed glasses, giving you a twisted smile that made you quiver in fear, that growing wet patch on your panties making you feel like a really sick girl.

“Doctor-” you mumbled, closing your eyes as he pulled your hair, withdrawing a mewl off your mouth. “Hurts”

“You talk when I tell you to talk” he snickered, adjusting the way his fingers gripped your hair. You thought that he might just pull out the strand he was tugging. “I’m sick of your whining”

You felt more tears well up in your eyes; not sure if it was from the pain in your head or how his words felt like a knife that landed right on your heart. You were confused, sad, angry— a little hot, too.

“I pay you yo listen to me” you said, your voice so shaky you were lucky he could understand you. You wished he didn’t understand you.

Another sort of moan left your lips as a hard slap made a landing in your cheek, your face turned to the side because of the impact. You closed your eyes in disbelief, a cry coming out as you felt helpless, wondering if this was some exposure therapy he was experimenting on you.

He repeated himself, instructing you to talk only when you were told so, nodding in defeat as you accepted whatever this was and continued to play along with Jonathan’s sick fantasy of controlling you, without even knowing it.

You looked at him with nothing but inquietude, the look in his eyes giving you the foreboding that nothing good was about to happen now, frightened of what we would do to you.

He didn’t show any hints of letting go of your hair anytime soon, just holding it firmly to keep you looking at him through your heavy lashes, a wicked grin on his smug face.

“Let’s give that whining mouth of yours a good use” he said, and you gulped, understanding what he wanted and quivering in fear, not really understanding why the sticky sensation between your legs grew.

“Undo my pants” he commanded, and you stayed still, your eyes not leaving his even when another slap landed on your tear-wet face. “Do as you’re told, brat. This might be your only cure”

You couldn’t help but sob a little, his tone sounding so definitive, so professional. Your trembling hands reached his belt and unbuckling it ungracefully, taking longer than he expected, you heard him chuckle as you unbuttoned his pants afterwards, then putting your hands back in front of your lap.

“C’mon” he pulled your hair again, causing you to moan in pain. “Don’t make me tell you what to do”

You looked at him again in nothing but shame, trying to resist to this humiliating request of his, but complying it anyways. He said he was going to cure you, but now you doubted it, right now, you only wanted this to be over.

With a last look at his eyes you returned your attention to the growing bulge in his slacks, the shame in your brain being present at all times, not quite helping the way your eyes were fixated on his clothed member. You were quick to free him out after your staring earned you a other harsh pull of hair, your lips turned into a line when his cock slapped his abdomen, causing his dress shirt to wrinkle a little.

“Go on, Y/N” he encouraged you, as you looked at him with pleading eyes, silently begging him for mercy, knowing that even if you screamed it at him, he just wouldn’t listen. “This isn’t about what you want, anymore. Is about what you need”

A tear slid from your eyes and disappeared down your cheek when his free hand placed the tip of his hard cock on your parted lips, gesturing you to take it and not waste more of his time— more than you already did.

“Open up, whore” he said under his breath, using your hair as a device to move your head and help you shove his length down your throat. You complied, the tears in your eyes now soaking in you cheeks by the effort that you were making trying to welcome his thick shaft down your mouth.

You were sure you scratched him with your teeth a few times as he bobbed your head up and down with his strong hand, manhandling you without care for his own pleasure. You placed your hands on his knees, trying not to gag, but when his tip touched the bottom of your throat, you couldn’t help it.

You cried as you felt suffocated again, now for a whole different reason, a more humiliating one, and you almost wished he killed you then. His hips buckled everytime your lips reached the base of his cock, the room filled with the sounds of your mouth and saliva coating his shaft and the soft moans that came out of his poisoned lips.

“Take it, whore” he said, his voice now husky and distorted by the pleasure, the pain that your teeth accidentally inflicted on him turning him even more. “God- you are horrible at this”

He chuckled between heavy breaths, pulling you by the hair and releasing his cock from your mouth, a vulgar pop filling both of your ears at the sudden separation of your lips and his member. Your eyes looked at the floor, feeling such a shame that the mere thought of meeting his face with your fearful face made you cringe, the pulsating pain on the back of your head making you dizzy.

“You can’t suck dick properly” he said, his tone sounding like he was making fun of you. “No wonder why your husband left you. You’re just pathetic”

You finally rose up your face to look at that insufferable smile of his, ignoring the way his cock was still hanging there in front of you, almost brushing your nose. His fingers finally untangled from your hair and giving you some sort of solace, the consolation that this traumatic session was over.

Maybe the remedy was worse than the sickness itself.

“Jonathan, stop it, plea-”

Your imploration was completely ignored, followed by another slap on your wet cheek that made you cry even more, not understanding how this man could’ve been the same one who made you felt loved and finally listened. You fell for a lie once again.

“Get on the couch” he simply said, his words were like a bucket of cold water fell on you. “Stop the bitching, don’t want to hear it”

“And I’m your doctor. Not Jonathan” he reminded you, making you feel even more ashamed.

You did as he told, again, half-standing from the floor and sitting next to him, trying to take as much space from him as you could before he grabbed you by the waist and pulled you closer, your face growing red as his face was now centimeters away from yours.

“You look so beautiful when you cry” he whispered, caressing your face but trying to nor wipe the tears away, almost like he was admiring you. It made you melt into his touch, glad that his kind demeanor was there again. Even if his words made you cringe— and the fact that his cock was still out, you felt your heart grew warmer by the way he tenderly touched you.

It didn’t last much longer, when his lips twitched into a malicious smile and went down to nibble your neck, leaving a trail of wet kisses around the bruised skin and bitting where his fingers hurt you previously, making your fingers wrap on his hair and cry for mercy, trying for him to stop hurting you this much.

“Shut up, stupid brat” he repeated that same insult, making you swallow your cries, closing your eyes in disbelief as he continued to injure your already suffering skin.

You arched your back in surprise when all of the sudden his hands reached for your breasts, groping your tits like his life depending on it, stimulating you through the fabric of your shirt, but all you felt was fear and anger, impotence flowing through your veins because you just couldn’t scream and push him away, fear was freezing you on the spot.

The worst part? You maybe didn’t wanted to push him away. Because maybe if he gets what he wants now you would be cured and he’ll be back to normal, returning you the sweet Doctor Crane that you met once, not this monster that was groping you like a piece of meat.

He clicked his tongue and dropped both of his hands to spread your legs open, forcing your back to drop onto the hand rester of the couch. You looked at him with big eyes, your heart felt like it was going to jump out of your chest and scream to Jonathan that enough was enough, you just couldn’t take any of this anymore.

But your heart stayed there, between your lungs that seemed incapable to hold any air, making your breathing erratic. So nobody screamed Jonathan to stop, and he continued with his profanation against your persona— your dignity.

He bit his lip at the sight of your fucked-up face, your legs open as it showed him the dark patch on your baby blue panties, darting his eyes from your half-exposed crotch to your teary eyes.

“God, keep crying and I might come now” he growled, lowering his face to meet your pussy, kissing it through your underwear, making you mewl, closing your eyes at the sudden attention your core was getting.

You felt embarrassed at how much you enjoyed when he moved the fabric to the side and started making out with your cunt, swallowing your fluids like a starved man.

“So wet” he mumbled against your labia, the vibration making your eyes roll back, bitting your lip to prevent any moan to come out; he was raping you, why did he make you enjoy it? “I bet you like this, to be treated like a whore”

You shook your head, more tears falling out of your eyes as you felt nothing else but humiliation, pleasure washing over your body everytime his tongue brushed your clit, your back arched against nothing.

“You like it?” he said, finally pulling out and pushing his body up so his face was in front of yours, his cock grazing against your now stimulated pussy, a gasp leaving your lips, a gasp that quickly turned into a hurting moan when his hand slapped you again, this time in your throbbing cunt. “Answer me”

“I- I do” you whispered, gripping his shoulders when you felt him align the head of his member with your whole, scared of how it was going to fit. You had trouble taking it when he face-fucked you, how the fuck it was going to fit down there?

“I’m going to fuck you so good” he whispered between pants, jerking himself off before entering you. “You’re going to forget that pathetic husband of yours”

You couldn’t help but cry, trying to push him off by the shoulders, a terrified look on your face. “It won’t fit, Doctor” you pleaded, a crooked grin on his face as you keep on calling him that. “I beg you, don’t-”

“Yes, beg me” he said, starting to push his member inside you with a slow but relentlessly pace, not giving you enough time to adjust, just to scream and hit him weakly on the chest, face and shoulders before ge grabbed your hands and pinned them down, on the sides of your body. “I’m going to cure you- do you so good”

His voice was low, as he barely could speak when he felt just how tight you were, your walls hugging his cock just the right way, his pulsating head making your mind dizzy, the stinging pain starting to be forgotten.

But when he slid out and entered back it, the hardness of his movement made your insides burn with pain, a loud cry echoing in the walls of the living room as he started to trust into your pussy with a fast pace, not caring at all if you felt good.

He snapped his hips against yours with an animalistic force, growls escaped from his mouth every time his cock was welcomed by the warmth of your stretch whole, the sensation making him go even more feral, making you cry more.

He let go of one of your hands and grabbed your jaw, forcing you to look at his eyes as he fucked you vigorously, the blue on his iris not existent anymore, only his widely dilated pupils meeting yours, your blurred vision distinguishing the depraved expression in his face.

“You- so tight” he snarled, his voice barely audible, covered by the sound of skin slapping and your loud cries. “I bet your stupid husband didn’t fuck you like this”

You felt nothing but shame as you felt his cock now sliding in and out more easily, the wetness of your cunt growing as he spoke to you like that, that familiar heat flourishing in your lower belly as his words degraded you, your cries quickly becoming moans.

“This was all you needed- fuck” he said, his spit splashing your face as he talked, his words full of disdain. “A good dick, that’s all it takes to keep bitches like you quiet” You nodded, thinking that if you agreed he would stop. How wrong you were.

In a quick movement Jonathan took his cock out and spun you around, not giving you time to get on your ass up by laying your chest down before he stabbed your hole again, pushing your skirt all the way up to see how his pelvis came into collision with your ass.

You were moaning like a bitch in heat now, sure that the maids were listening, not really caring about it anymore. Jonathan was fucking you nice and hard, your mouth wide open as his tip brushed your cervix, screaming to him to keep it right there.

“I’m close” he said, pulling your hair back to press his chest to your back, his other hand going down to play with your swollen clit, wanting your to come around his cock like the slut he knew you were. “Come with me, you whore”

“Yes” you moaned, your tongue out as his cock hit the right spots, making your hips to move against his, grinding against his hand and dick, feeling your wetness drip down to your thighs. “Yes, yes, I want to”

He laughed, approaching your ear with his tongue to bite it, leaving a long and wet kiss underneath it that made you grow hotter, your eyes closed as you let him use you; the only thought in your mind being him and his wonder-working cock.

Truth was, he was fucking you stiffly, every slam of his hips stronger than the last one, but you were so deprived of touch, so dick-starved, that even if Jonathan was fucking you like a lifeless doll, only for the sake of his pleasure, you loved it, even when it hurt you.

“I’m going to fill you up” he said against your ear, his hand leaving your clit unattended as he grabbed your hip to increase the velocity of his thrusts, ramming your hole like a demented man, making your head drop against his shoulder and scream at the ceiling, now knowing what he meant by curing you.

“Going to get you pregnant” he said, more to himself than anything “so you don’t have to bitch about being alone anymore”

You opened your eyes with terror, you didn’t want children, you were so young. The idea made you frightened, the moaning now sounding like little nos and pull outs, but Jonathan didn’t listen.

“Doctor please, please, pull out” you pleaded, reaching for his hips and trying to push him away, one of his hands slapping your ass and pulling you down by your shoulder blade so you wouldn’t fight anymore. “Doctor Crane please”

“I will fucking fill you up, Y/N” he chanted, laughing at the idea of your round belly and your swollen tits, carrying his baby all day and feeling all worked up and needy all day, only waiting for him to fuck you all day. “You won’t be alone again. You won’t be sad again”

Then you realized it.

When he came, your hot walls creamed every single drop of his cum, making his thrusts sloppy and slow, his moans filling your ears as you sobbed under his touch, feeling his seed paint your walls and load your insides with his sperm.

That was your cure.

His hot release that now flooded inside your leaking cunt, that was your so-promised antidote. He took away your solitude by giving you his and yours firstborn, a bastard baby that would give you the company that you lacked.

You felt him chuckle as he rode out his high, the chase of his own climax made you forget yours, so now there you were, your swollen cunt looking for its release while his rested among your insides calmly, like it was meant to be.

He didn’t pull out immediately, taking his time to appreciate the sight of your skirt resting in your hips all rolled up, your bruised neck and messy hair, the way your ass was exposed to him by the way he had you arching your back. All for him— for him to wreck.

He pulled out and rolled his eyes when you started crying, now being annoying instead of hot. You sat on the couch and saw him button his pants and fix his hair, hissing when you felt nothing but pain growing in your worn-out pussy. You explained through your weak voice how he ruined your life, that he was the worst person you’ve ever met and that now you had to carry the product of his sick and twisted rapist-fantasy, even tried to hit him, but your pathetic tantrum only gained you another slap in the face, and a stern look.

When he tried to stand up and leave, you grabbed him by the wrist and begged him not to, he couldn’t just leave you, not now, not ever.

“Don’t be so ungrateful” he said, a smile that made you feel nothing but trepidation in his face. “You’ll never be alone again”

You couldn’t help but feel scared. Scared of him, of what just happened, of what’s going to happen next, scared for your future son with this evil specie of a man.

When you continued to cry, and he pulled you for a hug as he assured you that he would never leave you; and how could he? He had a long life of success waiting for him now, giving a girl of your status his last name, his children. Oh, it’s going to be wonderful, he just needed to tame you and make you the perfect slave for him, and that wasn’t going to be hard.

You were sure that you’ll never be loved, but at least now Jonathan was going to be with you. You’ll never be alone again.

thanks for reading. w/love, fenina;)

taglist: @lovesickxcherries @genini @ilunapb @ostricx @devotedlyshadowytheorist

if you want to be added let me know, it’ll be my pleasure🫶🏻

#cillian x fem!reader #jonathan crane x reader #cillian murphy x oc #cillian murphy x reader #cillian smut #cillian x reader #cillian x y/n #jonathan crane fanfic #tommy shelby x reader #jonathan crane x you #cillian one shot #cillian fic #peaky blinder imagine #batman fanfiction #scarecrow x reader

[fifthnailinstevesbat]

after the events of season 4, steve just wanting SO BADLY to be friends with eddie. just LOVING the idea of them getting closer and having eddie as a friend because hell yeah! a close male friendship with someone that is actually my age, and who i don’t have a weird history with involving bruised eyes and love triangles? count me IN! and eddie is FUN, he is actually hilarious! the way they share the same glances of understanding when dustin is being an absolute shit head, rambling on and on about some obscure topic, expecting everyone to always be on the exact same page as him. of course. and, although steve suspects that eddie actually probably is keeping up with everything dustin says, much better than he ever could, he knows that above it all eddie can appreciate the antics for what they are, and roll his eyes with steve at dustin, i concur, you dustin henderson, are a total butthead.

steve just about junps RIGHT IN to being friends with eddie. hey man, what’cha up to tonight? wanna watch a movie? get drunk, smoke a bit? hey eddie, how have you been, man? he starts calling eddie up on the phone regularly just to check in, shoot the shit, he loves it! he loves having this new friendship with eddie munson and he loves how much the other boy has surprised him with how much he actually enjoys being around him. he’s not a freak, really, well ok maybe he is a little bit, but only in the best ways. he’s kind, thoughtful, and is always looking out for the people he cares about, which is something steve can really respect in a dude. but he’s also so funny? steve never could’ve anticipated just how much eddie has managed to make him genuinely LAUGH over their short amount of time spent together. and he’s really, out there? with the way he presents himself, the way he takes up space with these big THEATRICAL movements, leaving no room for regret or shame or god forbid embarrassment. steve isn’t even sure munson is capable of feeling it at all.

eddie munson is a good dude, and steve could use a bit more of that kind of person around him. he loves all of his friends, the weird little bonded family he’s found himself apart of, and they are all good people, but it never hurts to have afew more added in here and there. it never hurts to know there are more good people out there to find.

so steve is all over eddie, it seems.

at least, from where eddie is standing. nobody else seems as phased as eddie does at this sudden change in steve’s demeanour, in his interest in what eddie munson spends his time doing these days. it seems like, to everyone else, to steve, it’s just a natural progression in their relationship, after being sort of role model figures to the same group of kids, both being the two single dudes, who fought the same monsters together last spring, it seems nobody questions too much that they’d start casually hanging around eachother more. especially since eddie has found himself to fit into his own special spot as one of the group now after it all, after he unwillingly became tangled in this whole upsidedown-superpowers-supernatural-monsters and demons debacle, and tangled quite dramatically at that, the rest of the group that’s been with this since the beginning seemed to find no trouble in taking him in and seeing him as “one of them” now.

so, steve asking eddie to smoke, to watch movies, to go for a drive with no real end destination, it’s not really something that earns them too many double takes. dustin makes a comment or two in the beginning, because steve since when did you like hanging out with eddie? you guys are like so opposite, you don’t like any of the same stuff he does? and steve barely gives a shrug and a dismissive yeah yeah whatever man in response, with a signature eye roll, and dustin had said it seemingly also not too seriously, poking fun at steve wherever he can, not really meaning anything by it, as he fidgets around and rambles in the backseat of steve’s car, eddie riding up front. after that, though, he’s dropped it. it’s never brought up again. part of eddie thinks, too, that dustin would actually be enjoying that his two older friends are becoming friends themselves.

robin seems to be the only other person to look a bit harder at their situation, lingering stares at their interactions, all squinted eyes and eyebrows raised, though from her all this seems to be almost always and only ever directed at steve. eddie’s not sure what to make of that. isn’t he the weird one? i mean, he’s the one that stands out, right? he’s the odd denominator that makes their friendship strange. why would steve harrington want to hang out with Him? HIM? but robin doesn’t spend her time studying eddie to try and search for what about him could possibly have piqued the interest of cherished steven harrington, no, shes always looking at steve. like she’s seeing him differently, almost. eddie doesn’t even think that steve notices it, either, because he doesn’t seem to be questioning or doubting anything odd or strange or out of the ordinary with their newfound time spent together. and maybe, maybe robin is seeing him differently. eddie knows he definitely has been. seeing him more, intensely. deeply. human. seeing the person that steve is, as just steve, not this idealised version of a boy that eddies starting to question ever really even existed at all, or if everyone around him just needed to believe that he did, and who was steve if not happy to comply to the wants of the people around him for who he should be?

eddie likes having steve as his friend, too. don’t get it twisted. he loves how unexpectedly expressive steve is about everything, even really small things. steve LOVES to raise his voice, rest a hand on his popped hip, scolding the kids for something stupid with no real heat or malice behind it. and steve is, like, kinda bitchy too. eddie knew he had the capacity to be a real asshole when he wanted to be, that’s all he knew steve for back in the day, when he was back in high school, hanging around tommy h and the basketball boys, the jocks. eddie would spend his days hearing only whispers and gossip in the hallways of the parties at king steve’s house and the fights king steve had started and won on the court or out in the fields, only ever getting as close as a shove into a locker with the guy at the time, but eddie knew how it could go. he knew all about what steve had done to jonathan, what he’d said to him, the words he’d used. eddie knew it all. he’d seen enough, and been through enough himself, to know how these guys acted in response to guys like him, like jonathan, people who were lower on the social food chain. so, eddie knew about steve’s “mean streak”, if you will, but this kind of snarky bitchiness was something new to him. harrington was almost, sassy, when he wanted to be. it was less so cruel and more just, just sass. if he’s being completely honest it kind of blew eddie away, at first. he thought steve was one of those dull headed jocks who thought with their fists more than their actual brains, but that couldn’t have been farther from the truth. steve’s insults were well thought out, they were FUNNY, he was smart with his words. and silly. oh my god steve harrington could be so fucking silly, real honest to god goofball when the moment called for it, when he felt comfortable enough. eddie had caught on multiple occasions steve mimicking lightsabers to play fight with dustin, or the stupid fucking shit he would do or say just to make robin laugh, singing along to a song playing on the radio with a funny voice.

it was all a little, intoxicating, to watch. eddie didn’t know what gave him the right to be in on this now, to get to see this side of steve and better yet to be at the other end of some of his best qualities. it was fun, all the time they spent together, but there was always something else tugging inside eddie everytime they spent close time together, too. something, he knew steve wasn’t aware of. something he knew steve wasn’t equipped to deal with. something he knew, was him. was him, making things something more than they should be, because, nobody seemed to be questioning that they could become friends, so why ruin that? why disrupt it?

- robin and steve

“Steve.”

“-but then like, it wasn’t that I didn’t want to watch it I just thought, hey, y’know, let’s try something different for a change, but then he- oh my god he honest to god TACKLED ME Robin — I mean, it was so fucking funny and it happened so quick — and all over a fucking Tom Cruise movie-“

“STEVE.” Robin lightly slammed a hand onto the counter. She had been standing behind it for no short of 20 minutes, watching Steve as he paced around, supposed to be stacking tapes onto shelves, but ended up spending the whole time going on and on, and ON, about how movie night went with Eddie last night. She thought she was bad…

Steve jumped, almost running into a shelf and knocking down his hard work, and seemed to snap out of whatever trance he had found himself in after starting to tell Robin a story about something funny Eddie had done last night.

“Shit, sorry. Sorry, what were you saying? Were you- were you saying something?”

To this, Robin just rolls her eyes and let’s out a laugh, “You, sir, are goddamn hopeless.”

“Sorry. How long was I talking for?” Steve wandered his way over to lean his arms onto the counter from the opposite side.

“Oh, I dunno Steve, just about half an HOUR?”

“That is an over exaggeration Robin, it’s only been like-“

“Honestly, man, i’m concerned for you. You are like next level OBSESSED with Eddie. Eddie Munson. You do realise this right??? You are obsessed with him, Steve.”

To this Steve sputters, lazily waving his hands back and forth.

“No, Robin, what the hell are you talking about? I am not OBSESSED. No need to be jealous, alright, Stevie-Boy here can have more than one friend. Your spot in my heart isn’t any less special now that it’s beginning to be shared by another.” He bats his eyelashes up at her, holding both hands over his chest as if to cradle his heart.

“Oh my GOD! You even SOUND LIKE HIM!”, she playfully slaps his shoulder. “Steve. You are obsessed.”

“I am not obsessed! He’s just a really great guy, alright-“

“Blah blah, yep whatever you say, lover boy.” Robin quips, plopping down onto the chair chair infront of their staff computer, turning herself to face it.

“Wha- what? Lover boy? What the hell Robin, that is not- that doesn’t even make any sense!”

She is just smiling at him now, enjoying seeing him spiral like this. Steve let’s out a sigh as he puts his hands on his hips, and shakes his head, looking at her right back.

He opens and closes his mouth afew times, like he’s really thinking about what he wants to say next. Or like he has no idea what to say next, and his brain is not moving fast enough to formulate the next sentence his mouth knows he wants to say. He wasn’t obsessed. That’s not- that’s like- no. No he was not, Robin was just playing around with him, she knew how to get on his nerves. Get him all wound up over little things just to see him react like this.

After a minute or two, Robin realises Steve was not going to reply anytime soon, so she turns fully back toward him. Saving him from his spiral.

“So, what are you’re plans for tonight Steve-O?”

He lets out a chuckle and walks around the counter till he’s behind it with Robin, leaning his back against it so he can stand across from her and face her.

“Well, not really sure. Parents aren’t home, no early shift tomorrow, might drink afew beers, listen to some music, —“

“See what Eddie’s doin?” Robin finishes for him, quirking her eyebrows up and down as she does it.

“Oh shut up!” Steve just laughs and softly throws a tape from the counter at her chest. “As a matter of fact, yeah I will see what he’s up to. Because we are friends now, Robin. Is that a problem? Actually I was also gonna ask you what you were up to after work, too, but you know what after this I’m having second thoughts, I mean, the way you’ve been treating me lately-“

“Oh my god, you are the worst. Yes, I’m free, of course I’ll hang out with you dingus. You and your tweedle dee.”

Steve laughs at this, then tilts his head.

“Wait, does that make me dumb? Tweedle dumb?! That’s how you see me?”

“Yeah it is actually, got a problem?”

“Oh wow, she’s feisty today. Can’t believe you think I’m dumb, Rob’s. When you come knockin’ tonight, do not expect a warm greeting at my front door.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll take my chances.”

- later. steve’s house. to be continued?

#just been having steddie post season 4 thoughts #been missing the era of the fandom just sort of starting during that time between vol 1 and 2 #how every fic had their own little way of resolving the upside down/vecna problem just written into afew small paragraphs #really just getting to know these characters as a pairing #most importantly before seeing them as a couple #seeing them as friends #how they would genuinely interact and get along #what their dynamics would look like #steddie early days truly have my whole entire heart #coming onto tumblr the weeks following vol1 of s4 was magical #anywho yeah non vol2 compliant steddie for you #more so just #eddie didn’t die steddie for you #they become friends bc truly i actually believe that had he lived they would have #it just makes sense #stranger things #eddie munson #steddie #steve harrington #stranger things 4 #stranger things season 4 #robin buckley #dustin henderson #also lmk if i should keep adding to this…might abyways bc i’m enjoying this #steddie fic #steddie fic idea #steddie ficlet #steddie fanfiction

[magics-neptunes-things]

Feelings (1)

Hi guys :)

So this is a new serie and I wanted to thanks @cathhamel for encouraging me to post it. I don't know how many chapter it will have, it will depends of how much you like it I think.

I really hope you will like it.

Please enjoy ♥

TW : Suggestive.

PART 2 |

______________________________________________________________

As long as you remember, you always have been in love with Alessia. She is a year older than you, but she catches your eyes almost as soon as you met her. She was sweet, full of talents and of course everyone seemed to like her. You liked her too, but it was more love than friendship.

It has been five years, and you never told her anything. Alessia is straight, always talking about her boyfriend at the time or the boy who catch her eyes. You can’t say that she’s a great friend, you never have been very close of her to be honest. You are way more friend with Maya, who you know since your first step together for the Lionesses. Alessia is closer with Ella or Mary, it’s not that you don’t get along. It’s more that you become very shy when it comes to talk to her.

Maya knows about your long-term feelings for Alessia. She sometimes teases you about it, but you seem so desperate about it that she doesn’t do it a lot. You tried to find others girls to help you forget Alessia, but you didn’t succeed. It was even more sad maybe, but that’s the life you choose to live. This gave you a little reputation maybe, but you decide under Leah’s advice not to give a fuck. You do what you have to do, and it will stay that way.

Finding a pretty blonde with blue eyes is even more difficult, because since 2022 you’re playing at Barcelona. Along Lucy and Keira, the Spanish team came for you. You were playing at this time in West Ham and at your age it was a dream coming true. You don’t hesitate to throw your life in England to go to Spain. You didn’t know the language at first, but you learned Spanish and Catalan very quickly. Way more quickly than Keira and even Lucy.

With this team you won a lot of things and with the Lionesses, you won the Euro Cup 2022. You had hope that maybe you can get closer to Alessia with the alcohol and the adrenaline of the victory, but you were wrong.

So now, you are here in Summer camp for the Mondial 2023, in Australia. Sarina had call you to be part of the team, so is Lucy, Keira and of course Alessia. Maya isn’t part of the journey, so is Leah because of her ACL. You were gutted to learn about her injury. Leah always have been like a mentor for you, unlike Lucy who always had the role of the big sister. But you miss Maya in Australia, to be honest.

And you missed her even most, when you learned just before the first game that your girlfriend at the time chose to busy herself during your absence with cheating on you. You weren’t In love with her, but you thought that you can trust her. You were wrong. It was not the breakup who was disturbing for you, but behind betrayed that way. It isn’t something nice, really. You broke up with her, obviously. She asked you for a second chance, which you refuse before blocking her everywhere.

“And she had the nerves to ask you for a second chance?!” Jordan almost shout when Lucy explains to her all the story.

You let her do it, tired of people asking you why you seem so angry and almost sad. You weren’t really sad, but you weren’t really happy too. It was a strange feeling to be honest. You don’t miss your ex-girlfriend, but you are most disappointed to see that another attempt to forget Alessia is failing.

“What a bitch” Mary sighs after Lucy’s nod.

She is at the same table as you this morning, like Lucy, Jordan and surprisingly Ella and Alessia. If Ella seems to be as shocked as the others are, Alessia doesn’t really says anything. But you catch her watching in your direction a lot of time when you look at her too.

You don’t know how Sarina heard about that, but you assured her that you can still play as good as always. So, she lines up for your first game, against South Corea. You scored that day, like Georgia, Alessia and Lauren James. The first win was unbelievable, playing in almost full stadium too. And scoring your first goal in a Mundial was amazing.

Georgia decided to head a little hiding party, inviting everyone who wants to come. You did but spend almost all your time drinking your beer while watching Alessia. She’s so beautiful that you want to cry. You know you will never have her in any way, why can’t you stop those stupid feelings?

You would need to confide in someone, but Maya is probably not reachable now, being in England, so is Leah. You have friends in Barcelona, but they are here too and probably asleep. And Lucy is nowhere to be found, either in her room or on the phone with her own girlfriend. So, you decide to go in your room too, maybe to try to drink something stronger to forget all of this shit.

********

In your room, you sigh, disappointed. Your fridge is empty, probably an ask made by the English Federation. You understand, of course you can’t get hungover right now. How did Georgia find those beer anyway? You lie down on your bed, looking at the ceiling for a long moment before deciding to take a shower.

You slowly take your things and head for the bathroom. You stay a long time under the hot water too, needing time to wash all your feelings of the previous day. When you come out, you have decided to focus on the games and your play, not everything else. You have to.

Sarina, your teammates, your friends and your family are counting on you to have a great result. Your family is still in England for now, in the north of England. They will come after the qualifications, hopping England will pass the qualifications. You want to make your family proud, of course. You left them to play football very young and are used to be far away from them. But you still love them and their opinion are the most important for you.

Only wearing a oversize t-shirt and a shorty, you left your bathroom with your hair wet. You will hate yourself tomorrow, but you decide to sleep like this, not taking the time to dry them.

You were going under the cover when you hear someone knock on your door. Frowning, you go to open it, wondering who can come to you at this time of the night. Maybe Lucy who just hang up with Ona and need to cool off. Things are awful in Spanish Federation and you are happy to be English right now. You open the door, waiting to be faced to Lucy. But you were wrong.

“Alessia?”

The blonde is looking at you, looking like she’s wondering too what she’s doing here.

“Hi” she says with her sweet voice. “Can I come in, please?”

“Uh, sure” you answer with a second late.

You let her in, closing the door slowly behind her. Her perfume is tickling your nose and God. What is she doing here? You turn to her, she is in the middle of your room, playing with her fingers.

“How can I help you?” you ask her, beckoning her to sit down on your bed.

She’s still playing with her fingers and rings when she starts talking, but you leave her fingers with your eyes when she starts talking.

“I learn what happened with your girlfriend” Alessia starts.

“Ex” you mumble, shrugging.

“Yeah. But I just wanted to know that if you need someone to talk about it, you can come to me. I know I’m not Leah or Maya, but if you need someone, it can be me.”

You look at her, surprised. You don’t know what you were waited about her presence in your room, but definitely not that. The gesture touches you, very clearly. But you don’t want to lie to her or that she imagines things.

“I really appreciate it, honestly. But I have to let you know that I wasn’t really in love with her.”

“No?”

You shake your head negatively, then shrug your shoulders. It was weird to explain that the girl you are in love with why you weren’t in love with your ex-girlfriend.

“I trusted her and we had fun together, but I wasn’t in love. The betrayal still hurt, though.”

Alessia nods thoughtfully, biting her lips. And you have to take all your self-control to drag your eyes away from her. You feel like a disgusting teenager sometimes. Maybe when she left you will need another shower. Cold, this time.

“So, do you have someone else in mind?”

This conversation is unreal. Your eyes almost jump on Alessia’s silhouette with that question and you don’t know what to answer. Some seconds passes and you still haven’t answered anything. You gulp and take a breath, but Alessia is finally the first to talk again.

“I see you, you know. Looking at me.”

Ok, this is maybe the moment where you will die. You are mortified. You thought that you were being subtle about it, always looking when Alessia isn’t. You try to be respectful too, not staring at her in the changing room or when she’s not fully clothed. You feel yourself blush, a bright red blush, and you are definitely not ready for the last sentence leaving Alessia’s lips.

“I’m looking at you too”

It’s a whisper, that you probably wouldn’t have heard anywhere but in the silence of your room. You are now looking in her eyes, deep, looking for the truth.

“Alessia, if this is a joke…”

“It’s not!” Alessia takes your hand and comes infinitely close to you. “I swear it’s not.”

Her first answer was almost shout, unlike the second. Her eyes are in yours, her hand squeezing yours and you can think straight anymore. You lean to kiss her and it’s even more everything than you thought it would be. Her lips are sweet, soft and taste like strawberry. Just when you wanted to break the kiss to check that if your action were ok, a whimper left Alessia’s lips, and you just want to hear that sound again and again.

You extend the kiss, not leaving the opportunity when Alessia parts her lips. Your tongue caresses her bottom lip before starting to explore her mouth. You never felt so many feelings to be honest. You almost were shaking.

Wanted to feel her closer, you put your hand on her neck, taking her more against you. When she passes her hand in your now semi-wet hair, you make you fall delicately on the bed. Deciding not to lye on her right now, you lye next to her, on your front while she’s on her back.

When air became an issue, you break the kiss this time. Alessia’s lips were swollen, probably like yours. Her breathing was fast and deep, her chest rising irregularly to the rhythm of her breathing.

Alessia is the one initiating the kiss this time, taking you against her. You let her do it, obviously. This time your chest in on hers and the feeling adding with the kiss is driving you crazy. You manage to keep calm for more kisses, but when her hands are on your back and ass, you try to escape her arms.

“We need to stop” you breath difficulty.

“Why?”

Alessia’s disappointment is hard to miss and it’s flattering. But once again, you chose to be honest with her.

“Because if we don’t stop now, I won’t be able to stop after, Less.”

You saw in her eyes that she understands perfectly what you mean. She bites your lips, from under you and the gesture make enjoyable sensation right in your core. But you have to ignore it.

“What if I want the after?”

You don’t know in what parallel universe you are, honestly. But you need to check that she was being serious and sure of herself. And if she wasn’t drunk too, but you only saw her drink Pepsi tonight.

“I want it, Y/N” is her only answer.

You look at her eyes for several seconds before leaning it again, kissing her on the lips once again. The feeling is intoxicating, honestly. You don’t know it this is a one-time thing or not, but you take your time anyway.

Discovering her is like a dream and you take all the time necessary to remember every part of her. You touch, kiss and stroke every part of her body, trying to remember to what sound she makes at every move. You are kissing her neck, lying between her thighs with her in underwear when she speaks again, whispering softly.

“I’ve never been with a girl before.”

You leave her neck to be able to look at her better, looking at her babyblue eyes. You want her to be comfortable and make this night about her. Not about you fulfilling your fantasies, even if it’s the case right now.

“We still can stop it if you don’t feel right. Just one word and we stop”

She nods, biting her lip once again.

“I don’t want to stop. But I don’t know how to do things.”

She looks shy and you are filled with another feeling than pleasure or wanted. Alessia trusts you and it’s more than everything you ever wanted.

“I will show you” you smile softly.

She smiles back and you return of what you were doing. She seems to relax this time, letting her body fully in your hands. She’s still a little shy at first, but she seems to learn fast. And it’s just amazing.

#woso imagine #woso x reader #woso fanfics #alessia russo imagine #alessia russo x reader #alessia russo

[cyborg-franky]

Giving One Piece Men Flowers

GN Reader SFW Chars: Ace, Marco, Kidd

Marco

You didn’t get him flowers. Not because he wasn’t the type to like flowers, no, Marco was never one to stick gender roles on anything, especially who should give and receive flowers. You just knew the busy bird would forget to change their water or throw them out when they’d passed. 

Thus the cactus with the beautiful blue bloom. It would sit on his desk and keep him company when you weren't around. The bright flowers reminded you of his flames. If he forgot to water it then you could keep an eye on it without the poor thing dying within a week.

Marco looked at it, grinning and setting it pride of place on his desk. “Thank you, it’s really cute, brightens up the place!” He said and wrapped his arms around you and held you tight as you smiled, pleased he liked it.

--------------------

Ace

Ace was confused as to why you had got him flowers. He’d always grown up with the notion that only girls liked flowers but he had always found them pretty. He just didn’t allow himself to make comments other than Yeah, nice when asked about anything to do with ‘girly things’

But when you explained anyone can like flowers, they were for everyone he opened up his mind and allowed himself to be happy with the stem of… fake flowers? You nodded and twirled the stem of red and orange-tinted hibiscus in your hand.

“Well, I didn’t think you’d ever be in your room enough to enjoy a bunch of flowers and I don’t think you could have kept up with watering a plant, so these will last forever!” You explained and he nodded, leaning down and kissing your nose. “Thanks,”

You were worried he was only placating you until you saw him the next day with one of the fake flowers firmly attached to his hat. Whenever anyone would comment he would beam brightly and say you got it for him and he loved it.

-------------------

Kidd

Oh boy, you didn’t know what to expect when you rocked up to Kidd with a bunch of flowers. The way his nose wrinkled as he squinted at the flowers. He’d never really commented on liking anything like flowers in the past that was why you thought it would be nice to give him something.

You avoided tulips, knowing the comments people made but you saw these on the last island and just had to get him some. They were bold, loud, spikey, and very red. Just like him. He took the bunch and gave them a sniff, a huff as he poked at the spikey petals.

“I thought they would look nice in our room,” You said, he grunted in response before you followed him into your shared room. He set them in a vase and tilted his head to one side then the other, apprising them in his head as he tapped his foot.

You watched him use his power, small pieces of scrap that had littered his desk all came together with scraping and scratching sounds, soon the vase was encased in metal and you saw the grin on his face. “Love them, thanks babe, just needed a little somethin’,” He said with a big smirk on his face as he put his arm around you.

#one piece x reader #one piece reader insert #marco the phoenix #one piece x you #sfw #one piece #gender neutral reader #portgas d ace #marco the phoenix x you #marco the phoenix x reader #fushichou marco #portgas d. ace #portgas d ace x reader #ace x you #portgas d ace x you #ace x reader #marco x yn #marco x reader #marco x you #eustass kid #eustasscaptainkid #op kidd x you #kid x reader #kid x you #kidd x reade #one piece imagine #one piece x yourname

[actualhumantrashcan]

I can understand a silly workplace comedy about pirates not being everyone’s jam but I really can’t understand the amount of queer people I see hating on ofmd.

like for one thing most of the debates turn into gatekeeping queerness (which I think has a lot more to do with the ages of the main couples than actual concerns about authentic representation but that’s another post) and the rest are just hateful because it doesn’t directly name or label it’s queer characters but like why do we need that at this point?? listen I love heartstopper with all my heart but it is exhausting to watch them explain queer identities sometimes (even though I do think it’s super useful for younger audiences I’m just not the target demographic!) and ofmd is an explicit, violent, adult show that doesn’t NEED to explain it’s character’s identities.

queer people past their 30’s are usually very well aware of their queerness and have had (hopefully) plenty of time to go through the arc of discovering that. so why would we need to see Stede or Lucius or Ed going through turmoil because they’re attracted to men when they have already come to terms with that at this point in their lives?? i for one find it so fucking refreshing to watch a show where the characters being queer is not their main arc, they just ARE queer and life is still happening to and around them. maybe that’s just the millennial gay in me talking, but it gets emotionally exhaustive to watch show after show where the queer character’s arc is overcoming homophobia. yes obviously homophobia still exists and yes obviously if ofmd was trying to be historically accurate these characters would be living in a very dangerous time to be queer but it isn’t trying to be accurate!! it’s trying to be fun and diverse and kind!!

and also, they aren’t pretending homophobia doesn’t exist!! it’s just addressed in a different way. Stede was emotionally abused by his father for his entire life for being “soft” and then was chased down by his homophobic childhood bullies, one of which explicitly told him that he “defiled” the great pirate Blackbeard by simply falling in love with the man behind that name. Meanwhile Ed was forced into the world of piracy at a young age and developed the entire persona of Blackbeard (who fits the toxic, violent masculine stereotype of the time) to hide the fact that he’s actually an incredibly sensitive and deeply queer man! and is told multiple times by male figures in his life that sex with other men is fine but it is absolutely unacceptable to be in love with a man. both of their arcs contain homophobic rhetoric that is still present in society today, but its never presented as a problem that they have to wrestle with. they don’t have to come to terms with what it means to love each other, they just have to overcome some trials that go along with the complicated lives they both lead as a pirate and former aristocrat. the homophobia in ofmd is woven into the backstory of each and every character, it shapes them into the people they are at the beginning of the show when all of their walls are up and they are performing the “pirate” roles they are supposed to play. and then we get to see them grow and realize that they are in a safe space, part of a community not just on the ship itself but in the life of piracy (which in the show is pretty much explicitly an allegory for queer lifestyles.)

anyway, I could rant about this all day but just truly why do we have to tear people down for enjoying something? why do we have to find reasons to hate something so obviously created with sensitivity to it’s queer audience and with so much queer joy? if historically inaccurate gay pirates going on silly adventures and falling in love are not your thing, fine! but perhaps just let people enjoy things and find your own things to enjoy.

#ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd s2 #our flag means gay

[halsinswhire]

Can I request headcanons for Gale, Halsin, and Astarion with shy gn s/o?

I am so sorry that this took so long. Writer's block is evil, but i really hope you enjoy it.

Headcanons for Gale, Astarion, and Halsin with a shy gn partner

Astarion 

Whenever you first meet Astarion will definitely pick on you a bit about being shy. Now he will not be mean or cruel at all, it is more of a teasing playfulness. He would volunteer you for any speaking roles and sit to watch you get flustered. Coming to your rescue is his favorite new hobby, and getting to tease you about it later on when you’re alone together.

If someone is making fun of you or in any way makes you uncomfortable then Astarion to the rescue. When you first meet and he is still feeling pretty stabby, you might have to keep some people from being on a missing persons poster.

Anything he can do to make you nervous he will do whenever possible. Leaning really close when he talks to you, and making it to where you can feel his breath on your neck. If you decide to let him feed from you then prepare for all of the dramatics and flare. He will caress your face, and have his other hand gripped onto your side pulling you closer.

“No need to be shy my darling, it’s just me.” As if he is not doing and saying some of the most head turning things. When you are officially together then this just gets even worse for you. He is even more out there and says things like “Love, you get all flustered just for me hm?”

When you got together it was after a lot of confusion on his part because even though you are shy around everyone you seem even more so around him. Poor baby thinks you are scared of him so go give him a hug he’s earned it.

As the relationship goes on I feel like Astarion would become more and more understanding and start to tease you less and less. The teasing will never stop, but it won’t be as constant as it was in the beginning .

No one can tell me this man wouldn’t be incredibly protective over his love. When walking around in public he would make sure to stay by your side in case you need his help with conversation. Will verbally attack anyone who is rude to you or causes your anxiety to spike. 

Gale

Oh my sweet baby I love this man. I do not care what anyone says I would die for this sweetheart. 

On one hand Gale is incredibly protective over you, but on the other he still knows to let you handle yourself. If someone pushes you too far then he will get involved to keep you from panicking or anything bad from happening. 

When walking around in public settings he keeps an arm around your waist and holds you close. His presence is a calming factor for you, and this is something you will both use to your advantage. If you need to lie for some reason then Gale will be on standby to keep you calm enough to be more deceptive.

Just because he is a sweetheart does not mean that he wouldn’t be a tease. Now it would not be nearly as often as the others, but he will still pick on you on occasion. Gentle touches when passing by, mocking you a bit if you stutter some, and getting way too close when he whispers in your year are just some examples of ways he will tease you. 

He absolutely loves that you are shy around everybody. He says that it saves time by keeping you from having unnecessary conversations, but we all know that he just thinks it is adorable when you are flustered. You will sit there glaring at him with a pouty look on your face while he is saying “I did absolutely nothing wrong my flower, and I stand by that.” 

Halsin

While Halsin is not shy, he is not exactly out there all of the time either. He is the perfect person to go to at parties or other public events where you need to escape. A quick look in his direction and he will be steadfast in your rescue from whatever is causing you discomfort.

Everyone knows that Halsin is incredibly tall, 7 feet to be specific, and he will use his height to advantage on intimidation when someone bothers you. Like Gale he knows that you can handle yourself, but he does not think that you should have to. 

Making you nervous is something he can do with no effort, but sometimes he likes to fluster you on purpose. Wrapping his arms around your shoulders, leaning his head on top of your head, and whispering the most heinous of things in your ear. If Halsin were to ever make you genuinely uncomfortable then he would be very quick to apologize. Think wooden ducks he whittled and flowers he picked for you. 

If you would like for him too then he would be very willing to do the talking for you, or to just be there in support. Seven foot tall golden retriever, he is so sweet and supportive. When you are out in public together then he is walking side by side with you and holding your hand. Letting you lead where to go and he just follows happy to be there.

Whenever you get overwhelmed and start to panic, you do not even have to say anything Halsin will notice right away. Whatever methods you have that help you he will gladly be there for you to do whatever you need. If you are panicking and for whatever reason cannot calm down then he will grab you in a big hug, pull you close so that you can feel his heartbeat and know that he is there, so you are safe.

#bg3 halsin #halsin x reader #astarion x reader #bg3 #halsin fluff #bg3 astarion #bg3 fluff #halsin #baldurs gate gale #gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios #bg3 gale #astarion #astarion fluff #shy #introvert

[thinkingaboutjaedyn]

my heart over yours; part four | j.fleming x reader

prompt: you try to push jessie away while trying to figure out how you feel, but jessie is not going for that.

author notes: this is basically just angst until the literal last minute and all i can say is blame that chelsea loss against liverpool. i swear the cliffhanger will make all the angst worth it 🙏🏾 thanks for all the love on part three 💕 even tho i hated that part. anyways enjoy it guys! p.s. this is the last part before the final

contains: ucla!jessie x reader, childhood bestie!jessie, jealous!jessie at the last minute, a fuck ton of angst / small comfort, the actual shortest part, some protective!jessie if you squint

masterlist with all the previous parts

playing are we still friends? by tyler the creator 🎵

"i don't have to answer anything! who do you think you are?" you shout at her, fighting away all the thoughts that rush to your mind after her question. it's making you actually sit back and think about the role jessie plays in your life, but just because it's making you feel a certain type of way, doesn't mean you were going to give sasha an answer. at this point she doesn't deserve that because who is she really to question you?

you say one more thing before turning to leave, "you aren't my girlfriend. stop acting like it. we went on a date or two and now you want to act all possessive? get a fucking grip." then you leave out of her dorm. not even allowing her to get a word in. you already know someone is going to talk about this and it will spread in some circle of the campus, but you don't really care. you're sure that anyone who's friends with sasha aren't friends with you, so it doesn't matter.

when you find your way out of sasha's dorm building, you don't rush to your dorm immediately. it's around six and you already know jessie will be there. she always is and soccer players didn't have practice today, so you already knew she was probably in your bed, lazing around, watching some animal documentary; most likely an lion one. she's been really interested in those lately. anyways, regardless, you couldn't go back to your dorm. your feelings are pounding in your head like an headache and usually talking to jessie would help you to clear all that out, but this time around you just feel like you can't.

sasha may be right; you may be in love with your bestfriend and you don't know how to handle that. there have been many times over the course of jessie and yours friendship that someone questioned it to be something more. every single time you just denied and went about your day. you were used to it, so there's no need to have a big reaction. you never thought about it deeper. people would say that in elementary and secondary school, nobody knows anything during those years anyways so you didn't care but now you're in college, it's different, so if sasha thinks that then could it be true?

instead of going back to your dorm, you decide to go get something sweet. you shuffle yourself onto the bus and let it take you along the route until it reaches that street you knew had at least one bakery. getting off of the bus, you walk straight into the bakery. you order quickly, getting your favorite desserts, and leaving out of the place as quickly as you arrived once you received your order. it felt like too much to be in there at the moment. jessie and you always somehow convinced one pair of your parents to let you two get cake at random times for "celebrating." usually this celebrating wasn't even for nothing extraordinary. if jessie got an a good grade on a test? you would beg your mom to let you and her to go get some cake. you didn't trip over your feet today? looks like jessie is going to go ask her parents to take you and her to go get some cookies. sharing sweets have been one way of bonding for you two. it was sweet, literally and figuratively.

you make your way to the nearby park, sitting on the first bench you find. trying to find peace and quiet in la is hard, so this is the best you can do but it works. you sit there on that bench and try to think about jessie and yours friendship. could you really call it that with how you're feeling right now? things have always felt platonic between you two or so you want to convince yourself to believe. there were .. moments. times where the line between friendship and romance would blur. actually you think the line has always been blurred. it was just so normal to you two that you never thought about it.

as you take a bite out of your dessert, the sweetness of it matches the thoughts floating around in your mind. those thoughts may be the reason you're having a slight crisis right now, but still, they're sweet.

you think back on the time jessie and you went to the first school dance held in elementary. it was seventh grade. all the other girls in your class were planning on going with boys in your grade or just going together as friends. jessie and you were obviously going to go together as friends too, but the way she asked didn't feel as friendly as you remember it.

it was after a cross-country meet. you're sitting beside jessie on the empty bleachers, waiting for her mother to arrive so you two could go home. you have bought along a small board that jessie called embarrassing; it said jessie fleming is my usain bolt. the canadian almost fell over when she spotted that in the crowd.

"i nearly died because of you," jessie laughs, pushing your shoulder with hers. you roll your eyes. quick to say, "a true athlete doesn't get distracted from anything."

jessie scoffs. replying back just as quickly to say how every athlete has their weakness and perhaps you were hers. when she said that back then, your heart fluttered for a moment. you pushed that feeling away. thinking that you're just happy she considered you that important to be her weakness. after the conversation, jessie had gotten up.

"stay right here. i have to grab something near the stairs, i forgot my chapstick there," she says. walking away quickly towards the stairs connected to the bleachers. you watch her from behind stop at the end of the stairs, leaning over to grab something off the ground. you aren't sure what it is until she comes back up the stairs with yellow flowers in her hand.

"did you just pick dandelions out of the ground?" you ask, smiling as jessie hands the flowers to you.

"yeah and be grateful. i had to not pull them out too harshly, they're all weak since it's fall and all," jessie sits down beside you. all her attention on you as she tries to see your reaction. you're smiling down at the flowers before smiling at jessie again. "thanks freckles. they're cute."

jessie smiles, "don't thank me. i only got you these flowers so you would say yes." the serious undertone underneath the playful one in her voice makes you look at her.

"say yes to what? are you about to ask me to commit murder with you?"

"what..? no, can you be serious for once in your life?"

"okay, go ahead. sorry." you say. setting the flowers aside before grabbing jessie's hands. she lets out a sigh, "will you go to the dance with me?"

you blink at her blankly, laughing loudly after a moment. jessie lets out a nervous chuckle. confused on if you were laughing at her. she soon gets her answer when you say, "duh, i'll go with you. didn't even have to ask but thanks."

jessie pushes you, gasping at your dramatics. "don't pull something like that again. i thought you were going to reject me."

"god, sorry. it was just funny."

"shut up before i take my invite back."

"you wouldn't dare."

jessie and you aren't able to finish your bickering as her mother pulls up. you two run off to the car, racing. the freckled girl obviously won the race. blame her athleticism. that was one of the only days jessie was glad her mother was late to picking you two up since it gave her time to ask you to the dance.

you two went together to the dance and wore matching outfits that your mother still has a photo of hanging in your childhood home.

you are snapped out of your reminiscing of the past when your phone rings. looking down to see jessie's contact on your phone. a mix of anxiety and happiness fills your heart. you don't want to answer really, but it's jessie. your jessie. ignoring her feels wrong. instead of answering her call, you text her.

you

can't answer

on the bus

the excuse doesn't land that well, but that's all you can come up with. you can tell jessie is skeptical, but doesn't question you.

freckles 💗

thought you were with blondie

what bus?

are you on your way back to the dorm?

you

don't bring her up

i'll tell you in a few minutes

just wait

freckles 💗

you're being weird??

stay safe

come back before it's night

love you

usually seeing jessie says she loves you makes you smile and it still does because, well, it's jessie but it also fuels your anxiety. was it more behind those words? did you want it to be more? two questions you aren't able to answer yet and that drives you up a wall. still you text back; jessie could never be ignored by you.

you

love you too 💞

i'm coming soon

wait for me

jessie is sitting in your bed, having finished her documentary a while ago. your texts felt different and she couldn't put her finger on why. she will worry about that later. instead focusing on how you said not to bring up ms blondie and the fact you weren't in y'all's dorm, in bed, beside her. two sides of a coin; she feels a mix of happiness and anxiety. just like you. too bad you two aren't together at the moment. maybe y'all could have figured out these emotions together.

meanwhile, you're finishing up your dessert. having taken jessie off of the list of people who can bypass the do not disturb on your phone. taking her off nearly broke your heart, but at the moment it's for the best. you need some time to just think without interacting with her.

it takes you a while to finish the dessert. the actual time it takes you to finish eating isn't that long, but you stayed in the park for at least an hour longer than you needed. thinking to yourself about jessie and you and what she means to you and what you mean to her.

just questions swirling around in the mess of an ocean your mind is right now. just like the depth of the ocean, nothing is clear to you.

you wish you had more time to just sit and think, but you don't. being in a park late at night in la is not a good combination, so you pull yourself off of the bench. throwing away the empty container that your sweet treat came in. you make your way to the bus and get on, not realizing that jessie was texting you.

the worry in jessie's heart is now way bigger than before. you are out somewhere, late, and aren't responding to her texts. even though it pains her to think about, jessie would feel somewhat better if you were with sasha. at least she would know where you were and at least you would be with someone. you not replying to her texts is the last straw and she's almost ready to just go out and find you. thirty minutes. she'll give you thirty minutes to come back before she goes out on some wild goose chase to find you.

and that's all you need. right when jessie opens the door of y'all's dorm to leave, you're standing. right there infront of the door. you have actually came back to campus around ten minutes before she was about to leave out. still feeling anxious, you walked around campus for a bit. passing by the dorm building twice before finally going inside. deciding that was enough walking around and avoiding for one day.

jessie nearly drops her phone as she pulls you into a hug. you want to pull away, you want to just turn around and leave because you really can't handle this right now. sasha's words are ringing in your ears. are you already taken by jessie? what could this mean for you two's friendship? you want to think and pick these questions a part, but at the moment you really can't. instead you collapse into jessie's arms. you can't help yourself. she's like your pillar of strength. every time, any time you felt hurt, jessie's there.

there to hold you, comfort you, and make sure you're alright. so can you be blamed if you fall back into her the moment you see her? you can't turn away from jessie, you just can't.

"i don't want to seem controlling, but please don't do that ever again," jessie says softly. pulling you into the room with her before pushing the door closed with her foot. "i almost called your mom, my mom, your dad, my dad.. just anyone who i thought could reach you. my heart can't handle something like this again," jessie continues to speak. needing to spill out all the worry that was inside of her. it takes her a moment that you're silent. just resting your face against her chest, your arms holding on tightly to her waist.

"what's wrong..? what happened?" the soccer player asks. not pulling away since she doesn't think that's what you need at the moment.

finally you speak, "women are horrible and i don't understand why i like them." jessie wants to laugh at your words like she usually does when you say something this blunt and dramatic, but she can't. not when your voice is shaky. her mind thinks about sasha; did that blonde chick hurt you? the thought of sasha hurting you puts a pit in her stomach.

"did blondie dump you?" she asks. you almost laugh at the fact that jessie can't even say her name. maybe sasha was right about how jessie talks about her behind her back. not to give sasha any credit or anything. you would laugh if you didn't feel a mountain of built up emotions inside of you. "no, i dumped her. she was.. too much."

jessie waits for you to expand and explain what happened, but a minute passes. then another. then another and nothing comes, so she moves now. you two will talk about it eventually. instead she focuses on comforting you.

pulling you towards her bed, letting you go just to grab some of her pajamas for you to wear, and holding you for a long while, making sure your body feels some type of calm, before letting you change.

you're slow to change, but right after you're finished she pulls you down onto her bed. like always you two's bodies tangle with eachother. her arms wrapped around you. yours wrapped around hers. your face is pressed against her chest, listening to her heartbeat. it's calming, so familiar. unlike the thoughts that plague you; there is no need to think about them right now though.

"just know.. she wasn't worth it anyways. whatever she did, i don't know, you tell me later. just know it has nothing to do with you," jessie whispers, playing with your hair. the words are comforting like a warm blanket, comforting just like jessie's warm body. the soccer player doesn't know what's wrong, but it's like an instinct to comfort you. she wants to be happy that sasha is out of the way but at the same time if sasha being out of the way means you're hurt then maybe it wasn't for the best. yes, she was being passive aggressive with sasha and treating her pretty unfairly but jessie would have came around. eventually. if it would have made you happy then yeah she would have gave it up.

if only jessie knew that your emotions didn't have nothing to do with sasha at all. they all have to do with her. only her.

you don't respond to her words, but you let her know that you appreciate them. giving her lower back a few rubs. hoping that she gets the message and she does. she always does.

jessie slowly falls asleep first. having to worry over you have tired her out. it doesn't take long for you to follow after. one thought in your mind:

you might, most likely, definitely are in love with your bestfriend (how you didn't realize it before? no one knows) but you need some time. more time than this to figure out what to do about this feeling.

you don't go about needing this time in the healthiest way. the next morning, you're ready to tell jessie what happened. you tell her the truth.. mostly. not willing to tell her about the question sasha asked. instead opting to tell her that basically sasha didn't like the closeness between you two and that she knew that jessie didn't like her.

"she seemed like the type to be all pissy over something like that," jessie says after spitting out the toothpaste in her mouth. she's standing in the bathroom, getting ready for the morning class she had to schedule to finish her class requirements on time. "i would say i'm sorry for ruining that .. situation? between you two but it seems like she wasn't in it for the long haul anyways," she continues. happy that she can get the opportunity to make fun of sasha.

you roll your eyes, smiling. you are feeling better but still you feel the need to distance yourself from jessie, so you can think clearly. not blinded by that freckled face with that cute smile. instead of walking into the bathroom to bicker with her, you stay near the doorframe. looking at her as you say, "yeah. she was whatever. enough of her, how is the class going?"

"like shit. i don't get how you wake up at eight am everyday and actually go out and be productive. i need my rest firstly," jessie doesn't say anything about how you cut the conversation short. it's not that she doesn't notice, but she doesn't really care for sasha at all. whether to dunk on her or not, sasha holds no space in her mind now that you and the blonde are over. as long as you're okay, she's okay.

you let jessie rant about how getting up early in the morning for a class is ridiculous and should probably be illegal and how you're insane for actually being a morning person. you smile the entire time, enjoying seeing jessie being so animated. a trait of hers that comes out the most when she's annoyed.

"maybe you should get some coffee on the way, hm?" you tease after jessie is ready to leave. she smacks your shoulder, smiling once you say ow.

"see you later if i don't die on the way from sleep deprivation," jessie says as she leaves out of the door. you roll your eyes at her unusual dramatics. "i'll play the sound of whales talking at your funeral. don't worry," you say.

"god, you really do love me," she checks her phone after saying that. giving you a quick wave before running off, noticing that she's already late to the class. you peek out of the dorm room. giggling at jessie's fleeing figure.

now you can think. bless your professor for cancelling your morning class today. you close the door before going to sit on jessie's bed. it's comforting. being surrounded by her presence makes you feel calm. you'll figure this all out. you have to.

why you couldn't just talk to jessie about this like how you talk to her about everything else? you're afraid that things will change between you two. it's easy to fall into the usual routine of being close, not even thinking about what it could mean for the both of you but if you mention your feelings, will things change? what if sasha is wrong and jessie actually doesn't like you? will you lose your bestfriend?

will you still be friends?

you lean back onto her pillows, pulling up her blanket to cover your entire body. drowning yourself in just jessie makes the questions quieter than before. you don't want to lose jessie, but not saying anything feels like you're keeping a secret from her. curse sasha for making you question everything. she doesn't even have the right to question what jessie and you have. now you're stuck with the feelings left over.

all this stress on your mind makes you sleepy. and you let yourself sleep. your mind is busy while your surroundings are calmer than ever. all due to jessie. the way she can makes you feel complicating emotions is crazy, but makes sense. she is jessie after all. your jessie.

you're out in minutes.

it's three hours later when jessie comes back to the dorm, exhausted and ready to sleep away the rest of the day until you came back to the dorm. she doesn't notice the lump of your body under her blanket as she drops her bag down near the dresser, grabbing some clothes before going into the bathroom to shower. twenty minutes later she's out, hair still slightly wet, as she wears her boxers and t-shirt. she doesn't you until she goes to sit on her bed and feels something under her.

"what..?" jessie sits up, turning to look at her blanket. she pulls it up to see your sleeping face. a laugh of disbelief leaves her lips then quickly her expression changes to confusion. why were you here? you have classes around this time and never miss them since they're essential to your major. now she is really worried. were you sleeping away your small heartbreak from blondie or something?

she doesn't wake up as she slips in bed beside you. pressing her body against yours, her hands resting against your stomach. she nuzzles her face in the small space between the pillow and your neck. taking in your scent before pulling the blanket back over you two. she'll ask you about this later.

and that later comes when you two wake up around the same time. around ten pm, you wake up first. a small panic makes you want to sit up, confused on why you didn't wake up for all your other classes but you can't. a strong arm is over your waist, keeping you down.

"i love you but please everytime you move i wake up a little bit more and i would like to stay asleep, thank you," jessie murmurs. pulling you closer and you let her like always. "thought you were a deep sleeper?" you mumble back.

jessie lets out a tired chuckle. moving her hand to play with the waistband of your pajama pants. she does that often, but this time around you notice the flutter in your heart. was that always there? it probably was, you were just oblivious and wrote it off as just enjoying the movement. "i think i became a light sleeper after you kept waking me because of your morning classes."

"so it's my fault? sorry for ruining your sleep schedule then, freckles," you turn so that you two are facing face to face. her nose tickles yours. "apology accepted. uh, now speaking of classes. why didn't you go to yours?" jessie whispers. she could tell you were feeling sensitive especially from how you acted yesterday. she always knows what to say, what to do, how to act. how could you not realize you're in love with her before?

you stay silent for a moment to think over your answer. should you just tell her about your dilemma or keep it a secret for longer? you go with the latter.

"i don't know.. just tired. i guess my body needed a rest from that studying and running around from class to class," you say. jessie narrows her eyes at you like she doesn't think you're telling the truth and she doesn't. as your bestfriend she can tell when you're lying, easily. you start to talk all slow and soft like that will lighten the weight of your lie. your words aren't entirely a lie though.. just half.

"okay. just always know i'm here for you. if you really need a break we can go somewhere," her hand that's playing with your waistband slips slightly underneath. her holding onto your hip underneath your clothes wasn't weird. she likes the warmth and you like the feeling of something there. usually you would just enjoy it, but now it feels different. why are your emotions being this way? again, curse sasha.

"it's okay. i just want to stay here. i just need some time to decompress? i don't know.."

"if you need anything i'm here.." jessie's words are broken up by a yawn, "in the morning. i'm about to fall asleep again." you giggle, pushing away some of her hair that fell over her face. "okay, sleep. i'll be here in the morning freckles."

"where else would you be?" the canadian mumbles, slightly confused but just taking it as a joke. she drifts off to sleep easily after that. meanwhile you? it took a while to sleep. you just lay there, holding onto jessie as she holds onto you. thinking and thinking.

about the future, about jessie, about what to do.

what will you do?

distance. that's the decision you make for the time being when it comes to jessie and you. it's only temporary, you would never want to lose jessie forever. you just need a moment. a few moments.

it starts off slow with you deciding to not wear her clothes as much. usually you walk out of your dorm in at least one piece of her clothing. jessie doesn't really notice the change since you two's clothes are so mixed together at this point you guys share a closet. she can't tell the difference between her clothes or yours unless it's one of your croptops or short skirts you occasionally wear.

the weird feeling of not having something of hers on your body as you move around campus from class to class is jarring, but you need this. just to see if you are always thinking about jessie because you are really in love with her or because you have an attachment to something of hers that's physically with you.

you experiment with this little method of yours for a good week before you decide that's enough. you were missing the feeling of jessie being with you even if she wasn't physically and ultimately you realize that, yes, you're still thinking about jessie all the time. not because of some item but because it's jessie.

"finally you have my name on your back. thought you got ashamed of me or something," jessie jokes as she sits on her bed. watching you about to leave out of the dorm door. you're wearing one of her canadian jerseys with your outfit.

"as if. always proud of you, freckles. now i have to run or i'll be late like you." then you're gone out of the door. leaving jessie to her own devices.

your next method of checking if your feelings are in fact love is by replying to jessie's texts later and later. when you were out, your phone was on do not disturb and you didn't let jessie be one of the people to bypass that. wanting to see if not replying to her right away did something to you.

it definitely did and it did something to jessie too. the moment you stepped back into the dorm, she was ready to question you.

"you can't ignore me. what if i needed help with something or wanted you to buy a snack from the store?" jessie pouts, taking your purse away from you so that she can grab your phone out of it. "i wasn't ignoring you. i was busy, jess."

"yeah, okay. i believe you.." her attention is obviously not focused on you as she unlocks your phone. going straight to your do not disturb settings to see what's going on. she holds the phone up to your face and points to it, "why am i not on here?"

you are quick to make up some excuse. distracting jessie as you tell her that you will buy her some more non-fiction books if she forgives and easily just like that she does. still she's starting to get skeptical and more worried.

your little tests continue. you try to sleep in your own bed and convince jessie that it was too hot to cuddle which wasn't an entire lie. la is hot nearly all year around so it makes sense, but jessie can only take not having your cuddles for so long. after three days she basically collapsed on top of you, saying, "don't tell me to move away. i don't care, i'm sleepy and you haven't held me in forever. we always sleep together please.."

you give in right that moment. letting her sleep in your bed again.

while you're trying to figure everything out, jessie is figuring out her own feelings. why were you being distant? you may think she doesn't notice but she does. jessie nuzzles her face into your neck, searching for your usual comforting scent. you said you said you wouldn't push her away. that you wouldn't let her go. if acting like this isn't pushing away then she doesn't know what is.

after sasha did something wrong, are you avoiding affection? just avoiding people? jessie wishes she could peek into your mind. she's good at getting the gist of your emotions; that's from years of being by your side, but that doesn't mean communication isn't needed. that doesn't mean you didn't use to come straight to her with any problem and talk about it. instead of it being sasha's fault, was it jessie's fault? have the canadian done something to you and you didn't tell her?

that can't be right. you aren't like her who would rather be silent then express what's going on in her head. you were blunt and spoke your mind easily especially with jessie.

the soccer player doesn't like questioning herself or you, she just doesn't. she's secure in you two's friendship but it feels like you aren't at moment. just one push will lead jessie to just outright asking you. she can't take it anymore. she refuses to be tossed aside.

all those tests did nothing for your situation except confirming something you already knew: you're in love with jessie. your best friend who you have known since you were seven. the main reason why you chose to come to college in america and apply to ucla. the person you couldn't imagine being without. there is still one problem when it comes to all of this.

how does jessie feel? you don't want to ask, you don't want to know but at the same time you do. it's just frightening and unfamiliar to address at the moment so you don't.

instead you want to get away from everything. from jessie, your thoughts, all the baggage that comes with them. you just need an escape and you find it in gabriela. the spanish exchange student is happy to bring you along to one of the many parties she attends. you haven't gone to a single party this entire school year, too focused on your major and jessie. now with you pushing jessie aside for the moment you have the time. it's the weekend, you can let go for this once.

jessie's is away at the gym when you start to get ready to leave out. it's around nine, usually jessie would be in the dorm by this time but she's been slacking on staying in shape due to how many classes she had to take lately so now she's been taking time out to go to the gym at night. this was the perfect opportunity to get away without her noticing. knowing that she would question you and probably ask to come along if you said you were going to a party; with her always wanting to be you when you go somewhere unfamiliar.

you look in the mirror of the bathroom. the tight black dress on your body looks good and makes you feel good. your makeup is done, your hair is done, and you decide against wearing heels. feeling a bunch of pain in your feet won't help at all with you trying to forget everything.

as you walk out of the bathroom and go straight to your dorm door, shutting it behind you after you step out. the only thing you have is your purse that holds your phone and wallet. just because you were running away from your thoughts doesn't mean you were going to put yourself in a bad situation.

you

going to some party

i'll be back. don't worry 🩷

you text to jessie as you walk down the stairs. she doesn't reply and you don't expect her to. knowing she always puts her phone on do not disturb while at the gym, even for you (especially for you) because she's been getting distracted easily lately. good. she won't be on your mind for at least an hour or two if she doesn't text; that's what you tell yourself but it's not true. you're going to think about her entire the night but it's nice to think the opposite at the moment.

gabriela is waiting outside of your dorm building. she's wearing a dress similar to yours, but in pink. she grabs your hand once you come out, pulling you towards one of the ways out of campus.

"c'mon. these other girls are going to give us a ride," she smiles at you as she pulls you along. you laugh at how quickly she moves. obviously trying to get to the party right away.

"didn't know it was off campus," you say as you two reach the car. "everytime there are parties on campus they get noise complaints, so we just change spots," gabriela explains. a tall girl with braids sits in the passenger seat and you can see a short redhead in the driver's seat as you two approach a white car. both are wearing dresses as well. gabriela lets go of your hand to open the door for you, so you slip into the car and she follows after.

"hey girls! this is my friend, y/n. she's haven't been out like the entire time she been at ucla and i think she needs a good party," gabriela with her naturally friendly nature starts a conversation with the two women as the redhead pulls off. it's take a moment but you fall into the conversation too. your outgoing personality was showing itself.

by the time you all get to the party you get to know that the redhead is amber and the girl with braids is celeste. they're both quite friendly and you swear celeste is a little drunk already, but you don't mind really.

some pop song blasts throughout the house gabriela drags you into. there are so many people inside that you feel like you're in some elevator. despite all the people, gabriela pushes past them all to take you to the kitchen. letting go of your hand to start to make you a drink.

"i think you need to get a little drunk, yeah? just let it all go girl," she smiles as she hands you the mix of alcohol. it's some type of liquor, you don't know what but it doesn't taste bad going down your throat as you drink some.

"it's alright!" you shout over the music. the spainard nods her head in approval. you two stand in the kitchen for a little while, talking and drinking. some people would come in and out of the kitchen but most are out in the living room or even down in the basement. you feel yourself loosing up more as you drink more. your mind is only focused on one thing; dancing.

you grab onto gabriela's wrist, pulling her out of the kitchen. "come dance with me or you're no fun," you whisper against her ear when you two stop for a moment then you pull her all the way to where most people are dancing. gabriela presses her body against yours when you two start dancing. smiling when you let out a drunken giggle.

"it is fun, isn't it?" she whispers to you, right against your ear. you don't reply. just pulling her closer as the song changes.

it's nearly eleven when jessie checks her phone. now fully showered and changed after using the gym showers. she almost screamed because she swear she saw a mouse, but still she's clean now. she's walking out of the gym, scrolling through her messages. "what the hell..?" jessie mumbles, seeing your text. going to some party. i'll be back. don't worry 🩷

yeah, that's totally going to make her not worry. you never told her about going out earlier today or the day before. why wouldn't you tell her like you always do? this distant situation going on with you was not something she was about and this was the final straw.

when the canadian reaches you two's dorm, she tries to call you and it goes straight to voicemail. okay, worrying, but not too crazy. you were out at a party. you probably didn't hear the call, so she sends you back a text.

freckles 💗

it's getting late

are you coming back?

hurry please you said you watch the cheetah documentary with me

stay safe please ❤️

she waits almost forty minutes to see if you reply back or even read the text, but nope. nothing and no call back either. jessie doesn't want to seem like some obsessed friend, but with you not only being distant but not even telling her that you were going to go somewhere like you always do, she has a right to be worried.

who were you with? and where exactly were you? two questions that were about to be answered if jessie plays her cards right. she was going to come and find you because frankly she has had enough. the canadian texts the first person she knows that seem to always be out and about at different parties; hallie.

ms. canadian

hallie

help me out please 🙏🏻

blonde #1

anything for my fave syrup sippier

what is it?

ms. canadian

don't call me that again

anyways

do you know any parties that are going on right now?

blonde #1

none on campus. people kept sending noise complaints 😐

there is one i got invited to by some redhead. forgot her name

she's in my pottery class

never ended up going because .. i have an exam tomorrow so

ms. canadian

can you take me there?

i'll explain later

blonde #1

weird coming from you but okay

gimme five minutes and i'll be outside your dorm

jessie doesn't reply. putting her phone down so she can slip back on her shoes. it takes less then five minutes for hallie to knock on the dorm door. she was only down the hall anyways.

"so why are you, the most i don't like parties person ever, asking me to take you to a party?" hallie asks as jessie comes out of the room. locking it behind herself before the two start to walk out of the dorm building.

"because.. y/n might be there and she asked me to come get her so," jessie half lies. you haven't even replied to her text, but hallie didn't need to know that. the blonde takes the excuse easily. paying more attention to how she hates that her exams are stopping her from living her best college life. jessie listens to her rants on the way to party. all of the brunette's attention on you and what's going to happen once she finds you.

you have drunk at least four drinks in the past almost two hours. being a light weight is no fun as you're now sitting on the back patio which is surprisingly empty. gabriela is somewhere inside. probably off making out with some girl. earlier when you were drinking, you didn't think about anything but now that you slowed down and is out of that party environment, all you can think about is jessie.

why are things this way? why are you this way? why can't you just talk to jessie and just ask her. are you in love with me? why you can't just tell her. i'm in love with you.

nothing makes sense and you're out here on this patio alone and you want another drink but too tired to go back into that music filled building and all those thoughts you been pushing away are suddenly and you swear tears are about to swell up in your eyes and you hear jessie?

"why is up with you and running off?" you turn to see jessie on the back patio as well. while you were overthinking in your drunken state, hallie and jessie had made it to the party. with jessie somehow finding gabriela on the couch kissing some girl that jessie didn't have the time or care to give a glance to. after being told where you were, she immediately came outside.

"well, are you going to answer?" she says, coming closer to where you are on the patio steps. this is really what you don't need right now or is it actually what you been needing all along? with the mix of your buildup of thoughts and the alcohol, you stand, ready to say something.

"i was trying to get away from you.." the words come out in a mumble, loud enough just for jessie to hear. a hurt expression is on the brunette's face, but she doesn't step away from you. instead pulling you close. "why? what did i do? what did i say?" she whispers to you as she leans in close so you two's faces are close enough to hear eachother. "i been trying to get why you're distant and i just can't. you said you wouldn't push me away, that you wouldn't let me go, so why are you now? what could i have possibly done?"

the self doubt in her tone makes you frown. your hands move to hold onto her waist; a comfort.

"nothing. it's me, it's my fault," you whisper back. jessie looks confused but she wasn't going to let this conversation end here.

"just tell me what's going on and we'll figure it out. we always do," she leans in closer. her nose touching yours.

you might as well say it right? jessie's so close, she's right here in front of you. she wants to know.

"i think i'm in love with you," you say. closely watching jessie's expression go blank. she blinks, once, twice then she smiles, "i think i'm in love with you too."

and then she kisses you. it isn't the most romantic scene ever. on the back patio of some college party, but still the kiss feels so warm. so comforting. so right.

author notes: that was a lot 🙇🏽‍♀️ probably the most mentally exhausting part to write so far, but i love this actually even tho it feels a bit rushed. finally we're getting somewhere. hope y'all liked it!

© THINKINGABOUTJAEDYN

#jessie fleming x reader #jessie fleming #woso x reader #woso fanfics

[jflemings]

would you minds sharing any random jessie relationship headcanons you have? you write about it so well in your fics pls let us into your brain lol

— my oddly specific gf!jessie headcanons

pairing: jessie fleming x reader

warnings: nsfw & saw

a/n: got this ask and kept it in the drafts so i could just keep adding to it when a thought popped into my head :)

if any of my headcanons inspire fics please please please tag me!!! i’d love to see your take on them <3

- took soooooooo long to ask you out because she kept psyching herself out

- spoke with such confidence that it was honestly a shock to you when she told you she was nervous

- talked about you all the time to her friends and family before they ever actually met you

- introduces you to her sister before the rest of her family (mainly bc elysse begged to meet you)

– she has tiktok only so you can send her videos and you’re the only one she follows

– she takes soooo many photos of you

loves taking embarrassing ones just so she can laugh at them later

– sleeps on the side of the bed closest to the door

– is an absolute pain in the ass to go furniture shopping w because she reads everything on the label

– early bird

– not super big on pda but insists on holding your hand everywhere you go

– she doesn’t really celebrate her goals but if she knows you’re in the crowd she’ll point to wherever you’re sitting and blow you a kiss

– if you get married she gets your first initial tattooed on her inner left bicep closest to her heart

– easily embarrassed by compliments

– likes to read her book with your head in her lap

– makes the best bacon and eggs, i don’t make the rules

– if you drink coffee you can bet your ass she memorised your order the first time y’all went out for coffee

– super clingy in the mornings

– makes a playlist of songs that reminds her of you/your relationship

– very attentive gift giver, will take note of even the smallest things you say you like for future reference

– if you’re a reader she’s got your tbr in her notes app so that if she sees a book you’ve been meaning to read she can just get it for you

– likes to give and receive flowers

– a rambler, she’ll talk your ear off if she gets talking about something she really enjoys

that includes you, she talks about you to her teammates all the time

– secret avid pet name user

babe, baby, my girl, sunshine, ALL OF THEM

- blanket hog

- the two of you make a pact to learn something new by the end of the year and she chooses to learn how to play the fucking harmonica

- she gets rlly good at it tho

- picks out your outfit for game days

- loves having baths with you

doesn’t get to do it often but when she does she goes all out: bath bomb/bath salts, candles, her kindle. the whole lot

- talks during movies if she doesn’t know what’s going on

“why’d he do that” “jess i don’t know, we’re watching the same movie”

- not a big tv series watcher but will sit with you while you watch it

- loves her documentaries though

- does a really good david attenborough impression

- is ridiculously competitive when it comes to monopoly and twister

- which is funny because she’s shit at twister

- likes to be close to you at all times

if the whole couch is free she’ll still sit next to you, thigh to thigh

- doesn’t like to argue but will if she feels strongly enough about it

- she can honestly be kinda condescending in arguments without even realising it

definitely comes from her role as a leader

- she asks you multiple times through the day what you’re thinking about just because she likes to know what’s going on inside you head

- likes to do normal, everyday things with you like chores. honestly doesn’t even care that she has to vacuum the whole house, she just likes that fact that the two of you are cleaning together

- as clingy as she is she also really likes her alone time and will often take herself to a corner of the house to just mellow out, especially if she’s been around people a lot that day

- she’ll always come and find you with a smile on her face when she’s ready to though

- loves to update you on her day when she’s away. she’s been known to send you photos of anything and everything when she’s with team canada

- likes to get you lil something from every city she visits if she can

- you display all the trinkets she gets you on a shelf

- when you first started dating she’d write you letters as a way to express her emotions because she didn’t feel like she could properly communicate them directly to you

she gives them all to you on your wedding day

- she’s just so so so so in love with you

NSFW

– generally soft during sex unless she’s high off a win, pissed off or been away from you for too long

– is a switch lol

– gets pleasure from you being pleasured, she’d eat you out for hours if you let her because she likes knowing that she can get you off

- also a biiiiiiiiiiiiig fan of using a strap, absolutely loves the way you look when she bottoms out

- is surprisingly vocal in bed

- has a massive praise kink it’s literally insane

- she came untouched once bc she was fucking you w her strap and you were telling her how good she was doing

- likes when you scratch down her back but can’t let you do it often bc of the shared change room

- once went to training with a scratched up back and sam never let her live it down

- isn’t super experienced but she is observant so she figures out what you like really early on

- made it her personal mission to fuck you on every surface of your new place when the two of you moved to portland

- is a big fan of morning sex

- not a big fan of shower sex

- also is a fan of make up sex

- tries to give you as many orgasms as physically possible in one round (four is her record) (she intends to beat it)

- aftercare queen

- is pretty firm with what she does and doesn’t like and isn’t usually one to go out of her comfort zone unless the two of you have discussed it before

- refuses to hit you during sex. she’s just not comfortable with it

- doesn’t really like choking either but she does like having her hand on the base of your neck without applying any pressure

also goes absolutely feral when you do it to her

- definitely prefers to have sex in the comfort of your own home

- the two of you got caught by niamh once because jess was too loud as you ate her out

neither of you could look her in the eye for about a week afterwards and jessie endured so much teasing

- isn’t one to have drunk sex but she does like just having her hands under your bra so she can cup your breasts. she doesn’t know why, it just happens when the two of you are going to bed after a night out

- is the biggest tease in the world

- will rile you up and then pretend she has no idea what she’s doing

- has insane stamina and will go for rounds until she physically can’t

- can get really cocky during sex, especially when she knows you’re about to cum

- if she’s had a really shit day/week she likes to be overstimulated just to get all of her negative emotions out

#pegs answers #jessie fleming #jessie fleming x reader #jessie fleming headcanons #jessie fleming blurb #woso #woso x reader #woso blurb #woso imagine #woso fic #woso headcanons

[mikaela-the-slut-expert]

hi!!! i just started tgcf recently and i LOVE IT😭(don’t worry about spoilers, i already researched all that happens LOL)

can i request headcanons on san lang/hua cheng x xie lian x male reader (poly) who’s really bubbly, funny, and is always kind, and is overall just a sunshine! but in bed readers just a subby, babbling, crying mess, and praise really gets them going?

thank you!!! take care of yourself :)

Sunshine headcanons

Hua Cheng x M!reader x Xie Lian

Of course you can and tyy🖤 bear with me as I may not be very good with smut yet but Imma try for you🫵😚🖤 headcanons also terrify me. I don't want to mischaracterize them. It keeps me up at night 😭 so if it's slightly out of character. That's my bad. Like especially if the smut is out of character bro😭

Sunshine headcanons part two

___________________________________

You've always been bubbly, it's in your nature. Hua Cheng and Xie Lian love you for it. They love to see their lover smiling and happy and they wouldn't dare let someone be a threat to your happiness.

Xie Lian also has a very sunshine personality so the both of you in one room may make Hua Cheng blind in his other eye by how bright it is

Hua Cheng is mischievous so of course he has plenty of silly jokes up his sleeves and it's his favorite past time to make you laugh. He'd do anything for the both of you if he could see you guys smile everyday.

He wishes you were more careful though. With that sunshine personality of yours, you go out of your way to be kind. Your kindness of course is why he loves you, but your kindness exceeds the normal amount someone should have.

It causes him and Xie Lian to worry about you.

What do you mean you almost got hit because you were in the road helping a turtle to the other side???

What do you mean you let someone lead you away to a secluded area because they needed help carrying something???(They did actually need help).

So that's why the three of you are always seen together. The two of them having to put you on some invisible leash so you don't wander off

More often than not though you end up dragging Xie Lian with you.

With the both of you being so kind and Xie Lian not having the ability to say no to you, you're able to get him to come with you during your little adventures of kindness.

Which leaves you and Xie Lian using Hua Cheng as "scary dog privileges".

Your welcoming presence is overshadowed by Hua cheng's scary aura. In fact people are quick to run the other way. Not that you've ever figured out why.

While Hua Cheng is very outwardly protective of the both of you and is a looking presence, Xie Lian is kinder but still protective.

On the off chance that Hua Cheng isn't with the two of you leaves Xie Lian to look after you. At first impression he's very kind and even let people run over him like he's a rug. Him and you are a different story.

Xie Lian would never stand by and let someone step on you like a rug. While he does prefer to talk things out, he knows how to fight if he needs to. You don't.

So you have two boyfriends that are also built in body guards good for you.

With you around you've taken over cooking. While Hua Cheng loves Xie Lian's cooking, you think he's blinded by love to actually see what he's eating.

You love Xie Lian you just don't want food poisoning, but you know Xie Lian enjoys cooking

So it's a very domestic image when the two of you are in the kitchen working together. Hua Cheng stands at the side watching the two of you bustle around.

There's three of you but it's never crowded. If Hua Cheng is supposed to be the moon and Xie Lian is supposed to be the sun, then you're their star and they love you to pieces.

Inside the bedroom is a different story though.

Hua Cheng is great in bed and often takes a dominant role, Xie Lian has no problem being obedient.

However with your addition they both team up on you. They can't help it really it's your own fault.

On the outside you're so sweet and kind. In bed you're just so fragile and obedient.

Hua Cheng likes to bully and tease you. Just a little bit. Which often leaves you a crying, babbling mess.

Xie Lian ever so kind, is your savior. Giving you little kisses, reassuring you, and getting Hua Cheng to behave himself. He knows damn well his attempts at stopping Hua Cheng are half-assed though.

You're just so submissive, willing to do anything you're told so they love to spoil you. Sometimes too much.

♡

#hualian #hualian x reader #tgcf headcanon #hua cheng x reader #tgcf #tgcf x male reader #xie lian x reader #tgcf hualian #tgcf hua cheng #hua cheng #tgcf xie lian #xie lian

[ecoamerica]

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[bones4thecats]

How Did They Meet Their Singer! S/O?

Type of Writing: #4 - Poll Result Characters: Vil Schoenheit, Rook Hunt, and Eoel Felmier Name: How Did They Meet Their Singer! S/O? Original Poll Link: Here

A/N: In Vil's part, the story I mentioned in completely fictional, basically was something I made up on the spot, and I also mentioned songs after the piece of a characters that I can see them singing with their S/O!

✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅

✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅

👑 Vil is a famous person within Twisted Wonderland, and, due to his standing, he was getting many different offers for some movies that were going into production

👑 One stood out more than others, it was the retelling of an old book series that his father used to read to him all the time as a kid, The Apple of the Roses

👑 This story was kinda like a fairy-tale, with its own twist, that being the main character turned out to be the real villain of the story, and it just felt nice having himself be offered such a role, as the supposed 'main antagonist'

👑 He knew there was going to be singing, as it was specified as a musical-re-telling, so, he also expected his character's love interest to be a grand singer themselves

👑 But, when it was announced that you, the newest addiction to a mass of rising singers, was set to be his love interest, he suddenly really wanted to meet you and start practicing, which was not normal for him

👑 When you stood in front of him, dressed up all nice while maintaining the most polite expression you could muster, he was quite taken-aback, normally people are super on-edge around him

👑 Well, everyone besides that damned Neige

👑 Vil set his headphones on his ears as he watched you do the same across the glass panel, laying the sheet of lyrics on the stand as you adjusted the microphone to fit your needs, and he cleared his throat and nodded his signal to the people viewing

👑 He'd be lying if he said he wasn't shocked when he heard you sing your lines, your honey-coated voice swapping between powerful and soft like nothing

👑 Oh, he was going to enjoy making this more than he thought...

Mount Rageous ~ Link Rewrite the Stars ~ Link Close ~ Link I Don't Wanna Live Forever ~ Link

✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅

✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅

🏹 He was first introduced to your music when he joined Pomefiore, and Vil was speaking about his new friend in the industry, a singer by the name of Y/N L/N

🏹 Rook listened intently as Vil spoke about your talent, about how your voice could vary based on the tone and loudness of the music being played, and Rook was very much wanting to meet you and hear your voice

🏹 Not just by some app on his phone, but by a real-time show

🏹 So, when Vil decided to have Rook go with him on a small trip during Spring Vacation to watch him perform and record with you, he jumped up and pledged how amazing this was and honored he'd be to see the most fair and the fairest-voiced in the land in the same room

🏹 You walked inside and hugged Vil, asking how his time at Night Raven was and he answered with an polite 'well' and he introduced you and the hunter to one another

🏹 He put you off at first, with how blunt and lovely his compliments were. You, obviously, had many admires sending letters to your apartment, but, hearing how genuine his were, you got flushed

🏹 Vil smiled and lightly grabbed your hand, telling Rook to ready his ears, since recording was going to start soon

🏹 There was a small glass panel separating you and Vil from one-another, and, when you started the beautiful melody with a soft undertone while Vil was strong, his eyes sparkled

🏹 He heard you over the many apps that the students of Pomefiore would play, and he knew your voice was amazing, but, to him, it was far better in-person

🏹 Rook must speak to you about this later on! But, for now, he can enjoy himself in humming alongside you and his housewarden

Beauty and a Beat ~ Link Beautiful Mistakes ~ Link The One That Got Away (Duet Ver.) ~ Link You Are The Reason (French Ver.) ~ Link

✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅

✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅

🍎 Oh boy, he was super confused when Vil asked him if he knew who was singing a song

🍎 Epel was just walking around, doing his, in his opinions, stupid lessons, when Rook ran into the room while playing one of your newest songs, which was a mixture of country and pop

🍎 He just stood there and answered with a solid no, and Vil face-palmed lightly, as to not damage his flawless skin, and he ordered for Rook to call you

🍎 This poor boy just wants a day off from these idiotic situations, please great seven send him to his farm for a day

🍎 You answered the call of Vil's and smiled, greeting your old friend, asking him what he needed, in which he answered with a classic 'someone wanted to talk to you'

🍎 Cocking an eyebrow lightly, you chuckled and told him to show you whoever wished to speak to your lovely self, and hearing that, Epel began to hide his face out of embarrassment

🍎 Of course, he had heard about you from his first year friends, Ace and Deuce, but he had never really dug into anything to find out who you were exactly, he grew up listening to pure country music, give him a break

🍎 You gave him a smile and a sweet-sounding hello, in which he stuttered lightly before eventually gaining confidence to ask you some questions that were 'appropriate' for the moment, at least in Vil's eyes

🍎 Epel looked through the screen and into your eyes, noticing how you were looking up every few second, and he noticed you were in a recording booth, that was when he asked if you were about to record a song

" Oh! Yes, actually I am rehearsing to sing my newest song; The Apple of my Heart. Would you like to watch and listen? You can if you want, I don't wanna pressure you! "

🍎 His eyes widened in curiosity and he answered with a yes, allowing you to nod and lay your camera down, pointing to you and your headphones snugly held onto your head and you gave a thumbs up to your live-audience and began singing

🍎 Holy hell-raising of a bad harvest, your voice was amazing! He could listen to you all day!

🍎 Before you could hang up and get back to work, you asked for his number and wrote it down as he said it, and you promised to give him a quick message, after all, he seemed really fun!

🍎 Oh, what has he gotten into now...?

Hold You ~ Link Never Say Never ~ Link Thank God ~ Link Meant to Be ~ Link

#Twisted Wonderland #Twst #Pomefiore #Night Raven College #NRC #Twisted Wonderland x Reader #Twst x Reader #Pomefiore x Reader #Night Raven College x Reader #NRC x Reader #S/O! Reader #GN! Reader #Vil Schoenheit #Vil Schoenheit x Reader #Rook Hunt #Rook Hunt x Reader #Epel Felmier #Epel Felmier x Reader

[ahundredtimesover]

Belong (01) | MYG

Pairing: Yoongi x (f.) Reader

Genre/Tags: exes-to-lovers-to-exes-to-lovers; actress!OC x basketball coach!Yoongi; summer romance; “long” distance relationship; parallel timelines; angst, fluff, smut

Chapter (Series) Warnings: foul/explicit language; alcohol consumption & passing out, family drama, sport injury; dreams & moving away; implied depression; basketball and acting talk; 2014 and 2022 Yoongi; shy and nonchalant cocky whipped Yoongi; explicit sexual content (specific warnings stated per chapter (18+)

Chapter Word count: 14.2k

Series Masterlist

Status: Complete

Series summary: Being an actor has always been your dream. Pursuing it meant many things - leaving the town where you grew up, distancing yourself from your family that had fallen apart, and saying goodbye to the man who made you feel what home was like. When you decide to finally return after being away for so long, you meet Min Yoongi again, and you’re reminded of the summer romance from 8 years ago with the college basketball superstar whose broken dream pushed you away. As you find yourself spending time with him, you’re left to wonder if love changes, if it gives second chances, or if it’s just another illusion that will hurt the both of you the second time around.

Listen to: Boston by Augustana; Shelter by Luca Fogale || Playlist 🎶

A/N: Posting this today to celebrate People pt.2 and D-Day! Here’s a little piece I’ve had for a while. It felt fitting to write something about dreams and finding your purpose through Yoongi and at a time when I’m going through something similar. There’s nothing like his wisdom and his warmth so I hope this could mean something to you somehow. 💕 Please enjoy! And 🫡 to NBA Ambassador Suga! Now that’s his 🏀 dream in another form.

Present Day

There’s always something magical whenever you watch yourself on screen. 

It’s not due to some narcissistic reason or an insatiable desire for the spotlight; it’s not even because you think you’re really talented. Sure, you like the attention and just like anyone who’s spent years of their lives perfecting their craft, you want to be pretty great at it, but all those thoughts become suspended whenever it’s your scene. 

During these instances, it’s only about your character and her emotions, and that’s what you think is remarkable about it - watching yourself is just like being there, in that moment, on that set, feeling it all. 

Most actors would say they love acting because it gives them a variety of roles and personalities to play. You like that bit, too, but it’s the character’s emotions that you commit yourself to the most; it’s being able to immerse yourself in the feelings of joy and anger, of contempt and fear, of envy and admiration, of guilt and love. You like the finiteness of it, that with acting comes the feeling, and you know at some point, it’s going to end. 

Once the scene is over, so is the emotion; you’re able to let go of it right away with one breath. You’re good at that, you think - holding onto something for as long as it’s yours, and then letting it go when it no longer is. 

The collective gasp of the people around you breaks your bubble only a little; you release a breath yourself as the last scene unfolds. And with the final shot and the succeeding transition to the end credits, you let go of the sadness.

“I can’t believe that only took one shot,” your best friend, Taehyung, says in awe. “I would’ve been crying already knowing how it ends.”

“Jin and I challenged each other,” you proudly say. “We said we’d do our absolute best for that first try and the director thought it was that good. Seriously, not crying until that last second was so hard; I didn’t think I could do it.”

The Kim Seokjin, your co-actor and good friend, looks at you from the other side of the couch with that soft and proud look that you only ever get from him once a project is over. You return the sentiment, knowing that you wouldn’t have survived your first lead role in a drama series if he wasn’t acting alongside you. 

He’d been your senior at university where you both took your major in acting. He was already modeling then and snagged a major role in a movie right after graduation; he became a household name after that. 

You watched from the sidelines as he achieved his dreams while you took the occasional 30-second roles given to the students, but he didn’t forget you. He called regularly to know how you were doing, gave tips when you asked, and informed you of upcoming auditions. 

It was the type of friendship that challenged you, given that you both wanted to one day star in a series or movie together, a culmination of all the long hours of rehearsals and line-reading and classes that you both did. He had already made a name for himself; you wanted to be good enough to have yours be opposite his. 

It would take a few years, but after a supporting role in a romcom movie that saw people wanting more of you, you and Jin finally got cast in a series about a mortal woman falling in love with a celestial being, which, at the beginning, reflected your respective statuses in the industry. You expected the show to do well - everything that Kim Seokjin touches turns to gold, as the saying goes - but you didn’t expect for the public to love you both as a pair as much as they do, given that they want you to star in another show right away. 

“I cried as I turned around,” Jin says of the scene where he had to go back to his world and leave you behind. “That was heavy and even I’m impressed we did it in one shot.”

“Well, the sadness and grief would have dwindled by the third or fourth time,” you chuckle. “I’m not good enough yet to maintain all the emotions after so many takes.”

“Not that you aren’t good enough,” Jin counters. “You just haven’t been in the industry that long yet. That kind of experience makes a difference. I’d say I wouldn’t have been able to sustain the same emotion for long, too. It was a difficult one. I mean, what goodbye scene isn’t?”

It’s a rhetorical question, of course, but much of why it was difficult for you to keep the emotions in was because it was your first goodbye scene. You have a feeling that the succeeding ones wouldn’t be any easier, though. You’d like to think you’re okay with goodbyes and that says a lot, but then again, you don’t know anyone who’s actually good at it.

Or maybe you do. But you’d rather not think about it.

It’s silent for a few more seconds. You suppose that the rest of your co-actors who are here with you are still processing the end of a series that’s been their source of comfort for the past few months, too. It had been your weekly routine to watch the episode together in Jin’s house, not wanting to let go of each other just yet after filming wrapped up a few weeks ago. 

“Well, that was amazing, wasn’t it?” He finally speaks up. “It was a good run and thank god that ___ insisted on these watch parties. Or else I’d be crying by myself in my room after the finale,” he laughs. “This better not be the last time we see each other.”

“Because it isn’t,” you reply. “We still have that cast and crew dinner and a couple more filming stuff for promo. That’s easily another 3 more weeks of being together. Which is really 3 weeks too short.”

“So… does anyone want to go on a trip after that?” Hyun-seung, one of the actors, excitedly suggests. “It’d be a good way to unwind and use up what we’ll earn.”

You laugh along with everyone but you’re the only one who passes up on it. 

“I can’t,” you sigh. “I have a trip to Daegu at the end of the month and I can’t move it.”

Disappointed sighs echo throughout the living room, and you insist that they should continue with the trip without you. Most of them don’t want to, but you eye Jin so that he would make the call to push through with it even if you won’t be around, so he does. It’s rare to find such good company with other actors, and you truly want them to maintain the friendships they built here way beyond the series. 

Your friends make general plans as you listen in, wishing you could be there instead of home, which is where you’ll be for the next 2 months as you promised your family. Or more like, as they guiltripped you into doing. 

You haven’t been home in years and for good reason. After your parents separated and you were the lone child who didn’t harbor anger towards your mother who wanted to pursue her dreams elsewhere, you promised yourself you’d leave that place, too. 

Visits during summer had been fine. But after the most painful goodbye you ever made, you’d stopped going back altogether, reasoning that your up and coming career required all your time. You doubt that your family knew the truth, and despite their remarks of you following in the footsteps of your mother, those weren’t enough for you to open up about something so heartbreaking, knowing it hit too close to home. Their bitterness wasn’t a reason for you to keep going back either. 

“Daegu, really?” Jin asks after everyone else has left, save for Taehyung and Jimin, your personal assistant whose glassy eyes say he’s not yet over the season finale. “You haven’t been home in 6 years.”

“Four, actually,” you correct him. “I had a filming there sometime ago.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t actually go home,” he clarifies. “You went to the shoot then back to your hotel. I remember that; I kept asking Tae how you were doing.”

“I was fine,” you shrug. “How was I supposed to be? I was good, just couldn’t wait to get back here. I had a boyfriend, remember?”

“Andrew was a fling, not a boyfriend,” Jin rolls his eyes, and you confirm that the model is his least favorite of your exes. “And if I remember correctly, you broke it off days later.”

“Well, it stops being good when it stops being fun,” Taehyung says, mocking your usual statement whenever your friends ask why you broke things off with your partners. “She shut down when she came back. I guess going home does that to her.”

“You know how places just naturally comfort you? Daegu isn’t that place,” you try to explain. “I had to get it off my system for the one week I was there and Andrew acted out. I just didn’t want the drama.”

Everyone nods, knowing it’s how you usually are. You always viewed relationships as a complement to your job. Being an actor is tough work with its own complications and you definitely don’t want it from your partner. It was always easy for you to fall into that honeymoon hole with someone, but you always walked away from it just as quick once the rainbows and butterflies had subsided. Whether it’s jealousy over your leading men or not having enough time, or just wanting to be by yourself to regroup, your exes always found a reason to argue. And you were always good at walking away when you needed to.

It was like that with every person. Except one. Your friends don’t know if he’s the reason why, or if he’s the exception.

“So what made you decide to go home? And for how long?” Jin queries, feeling a little worried because of what he knows is out there for you. He’s always been a little protective like that.

“About 2 months?” You respond, to the surprise of the older man. “My dad wants me to celebrate his wedding anniversary with them. And spend time with my sisters’ kids and my grandparents and shit.”

“And spend time with my parents,” Taehyung adds, knowing it’s probably the only thing you’re excited about, given how much they adore you and vice versa. “They can’t wait to see you.”

“Same here,” you finally smile. “We’re definitely seeing them first.”

“Anyone else you’re going to see there?” Jin asks some more.

“You can say his name, you know?” You nudge your friend’s knee. “I know he’s who you mean.”

“Well then. Are you going to see Yoongi?”

“I don’t plan on seeing him but I probably will. It’s a big city but it’s a small town. Plus, I’m with Daegu’s Prince right here,” you say, pointing to your best friend who’s made a name for himself as a ballad singer. “Tae will be dragging me around so I won’t be surprised if I encounter Yoongi somehow, somewhere.”

“And what happens when you see him?” Jimin now asks, wanting to know if he’d need to drive to you in case you decide to come home early. 

“Then I see him. We’re… fine,” you state, earning you an eye roll from each man, so you clarify. “I mean, I’m perfectly fine living my dream in Seoul. And he’s a college basketball coach in Daegu, which is the closest to his dream he could get, and I heard his team’s doing really well. It’s been 6 years. He let me go. And I’ve moved on. Who knows how it’s gonna be like? But I’m civil with each one of my exes and it won’t be any different with him.”

“He’s different, though,” Jimin points out. “You actually loved him; you can’t say the same for all your exes. And you can’t argue that,” he adds, seeing your shaking head and disagreeing face. “Drunk and hungover you told me all that more than once and I trust that version of you over the sober one when it comes to your love life.”

“Okay, Mr. Know-It-All,” you frown at him. “I wasn’t going to deny that but it was the naive, impulsive, hopeless romantic version of me who loved him. That’s not me anymore. I’ve grown up. I know what I want from my partner, and Yoongi is just the small town boy who’ll always think that his broken dreams will keep him from loving me the way I deserve. And maybe he’s right.”

It’s quiet for a while, as your friends take in your words since you rarely ever talk about the man unless you’re in an inebriated state or recovering from it. But it’s the first time that the possibility of seeing him looms over you, knowing that within those 2 months, you’re bound to run into him somehow. 

Now it’s too quiet, and you realize that none of you know what to say since you’re all sober. Truth be told, you don’t remember anything that Jimin’s ever told you during those times that you opened up, and Jin never really said much, knowing how hard that breakup hit you. And Taehyung, well… the man was there before, during, and after it all, yet he never really said much, always choosing to let the silence engulf both of you.

“Look, I’m touched you all seem to be worried,” you finally speak up. “But I’m going to be fine. I found a house I’m renting that’s nice and private. I’m actually excited to eat at my favorite restaurants and visit places I’ve missed. I can’t do anything about my family but at least Tae will be with me the whole time and save me from their madness if he needs to. And Yoongi, well… he’s a closed chapter in my book. There’s no reason to revisit that. Hi, goodbye - that’ll be it, just like before.”

You sigh to yourself, hoping that your friends would take your word for it, though you don’t really blame them if they don’t. They’ve seen you barely bat an eye after calling it quits with your exes but they’ve heard of how broken you were because of that breakup; seeing Yoongi again might just bring up old memories that you might not be ready for. And they won’t all be there to lift you up like they’d want to. 

“Okay then, if you say so,” Jin finally smiles. “But if something comes up… you know I can always drive there and bring you back here.”

“And add to the already existing rumors about us being a thing?” You laugh, referring to all the social media fodder about your chemistry that’s too good, it might be real. 

“So? Then we let it,” he shrugs.

“Does the Kim Seokjin not care about dating rumors?” You gasp. “You always complained about it. Don’t tell me you like me.”

Jin sits next to you and cups your face in his hands. “I… love you. The way a dear friend who dreamed with you and who gets to live that out with you does. We all love you. We’d do anything for you. You know that, right?”

“I do,” you say, humming once he plants a soft kiss on your forehead, just like all the times he’d done before - when you graduated university, when you didn’t get callbacks, and when you landed your first major role. “Thank you.”

You decide to head out after a long evening. Jimin lists your activities for the next day before he’s dropped off at his apartment. Taehyung lets you listen to his new single for his upcoming album, and you get emotional over his soulful sound and the fact that he gets to live out his dream with you, too.

He walks you to your front door and hugs you tightly, just like all the times he’d done before - when you cried about your family, when Yoongi broke up with you, and when you found out he was dating someone new. 

“I love you, okay?” Your best friend whispers. 

He says it in that soft, comforting voice of his. The one that always told you that things were gonna be fine, as if love solves all things, and at one point, you believed it did. 

Your hometown of Daegu looks very different from the last time you were really here. It changes a lot. And it changes pretty quickly. 

But some things about it stay the same - family-run restaurants, streets lined with little shops passed down from generations, the parks and the temples, the playground in your old neighborhood with the basketball court that you know all too well.

They make the place home, Mrs. Kim says. That doesn’t change no matter how far or how long you’ve been away. 

You want to disagree. This place was never home. It felt like bits of it during the times you used to watch ballet performances at the Opera House with your mom or when your dad used to grill makchang on Friday nights. 

But when she decided to leave and then he remarried, you had just memories of home left. Your sisters’ resentment over your happiness for your mother as she achieved her dreams took all that was remaining, and coming here reminds you more than what you lost; it reminds you of what you can never have - that space to dream, the place of safety, the love that would endure time and distance. 

You enjoy the best short ribs dish over Mr. Kim’s recordings of his saxophone performances. Mrs. Kim dotes on you like her own daughter, and Taehyung announces all the things you’ll be doing now that you’re both back home, taking your respective breaks that you deserve, and spending the money that you worked hard for. 

You eventually leave for some rest. The house you’re staying at is far from the buzz of the city. It’s private and secure, a little too spacious for one, and boasts of the views of the mountains. Jimin had found it, knowing you’d need the peace and quiet amidst all that would be taking place during your short time here. 

Taehyung will be staying over at his parents’ place, but they insist that it’s open for you to visit anytime you want. You think you need the time for yourself, though. Your job often requires you to be around people, and you’re thankful for the choice you have now to be away from them. For some time, at least.

[From: Manager Jung] Are you settled? I’ve got a script for you to go through. Sending it now 

Your agent-slash-manager’s message disrupts your moment of tranquility as you sit out at the garden, watching the sun set. You’d arrived from Seoul in time for lunch and spent the rest of the afternoon at Taehyung’s parents’ house before heading to yours. 

[To: Manager Jung] Yeah, all good. But give me a week until I read the script. Don’t want to think much about work yet 

[From: Manager Jung] Fine. Just don’t take too long 

You sigh, knowing that though you promised Jin and Jimin that you won’t be thinking about work while you’re here - you need a break from it all, they told you - your manager won’t really let you. And much as you want to complain about him pushing you real hard, you’re thankful that Jung Hoseok always does. 

He was the one who saw your talent and insisted you’ve got a bright future after one casting call that you were almost late for. He was strategic in which roles to pitch you for as a rookie actor, and which ones would get you ahead of the game, no matter how challenging it was. During the times you wondered if you were meant for this industry, he always assured you that you were. There was always going to be a bigger break after the last, he believed, and he promised you he’d go searching for that role until you got the biggest break of your career. 

And every time you think he’ll cross the line of pressuring you too much, he says something sweet, brotherly, friendly. 

[From: Manager Jung] But take care of yourself there, ok? Don’t let them talk down on you. Don’t let them crush your dreams 

You’d cry if his words came with a hug.

[From: Manager Jung] And guard your heart. Don’t let him hurt you again 

You pretend he means your father; he let your sisters’ resentment of you go on after all, and his inaction made you feel unloved in your own home. 

You don’t want to think that Hoseok means someone else because it would mean that for all the times you questioned if everything you gave up to chase your dream was worth it, then he knew it was because of the man who broke your heart 6 years ago. You don’t want to think that all these years, Hoseok knew that your buzz-worthy dating life, whose aftermath he always had to manage, was just your futile attempt at getting over the first and only man you ever loved. 

Being in any sports facility unsettles you. You always claim that the buzz of sporting events just isn’t your cup of tea - you prefer the noise of a film or television set, or of a theater right before the movie starts. It wasn’t always like that, of course. You used to enjoy the screams and heckles of sports fans; you used to be one of them. 

But you found out the hard way that losing someone means you lose the parts of you that you’d adopted because of them, that you fall out of love with the things you used to love because of them.

Basketball is one of those things. It’s why Taehyung used to not invite you whenever there were Thunders games at Jamsil despite the free tickets always available for you; he knew you’d say no and he hates rejection. 

But Mr. Song is a man you can’t say no to. Not only is he the city’s mayor, he’s also a good friend of your father’s, which is how the chief official got wind of your return. 

Your trip isn’t meant to be publicized. Actors take breaks and visit their hometowns regularly without attracting the media, and oftentimes, that’s thanks to the local government, who employs their political will and own security to ensure that celebrities aren’t disturbed while they’re on vacation or just visiting family. It’s good for them, of course, but it also sometimes comes with small favors, like a private dinner with some of their close friends and some photos or autographs. You don’t really mind, especially since the same is extended to Taehyung, hence why the lunch earlier at the mayor’s residence wasn’t all that bad. It was only slightly awkward with your father because you chose to meet up with Taehyung’s family first before yours, but your dad didn’t dwell on it. 

Other than privacy, one other thing you get are free courtside Korean Basketball League tickets. The Pegasus just recently moved to Daegu from Incheon and there’d been a lot of promotion to get the city to give their full support to their new hometown team. Mr. Song thinks that photos of you and Taehyung attending the game will be the publicity that the team needs, and while your best friend genuinely agrees to the arrangement, you only do so half-heartedly. You’ll at least see your friends who are playing for the other team, but even the thought of Jungkook and Namjoon being back home and the party they’ll throw after is making you even more unsettled. 

“Hmm, number 16 was pretty cute,” you whisper to Taehyung as you head out of the locker room after some photos with the home team. “I wonder if he’ll be at the party tonight.”

“No, he won’t,” your best friend responds. 

“Why not? Because he’s from the other team? I’m sure that Jungkook won’t mind, right? I mean, yeah it’s his house but—”

“Tonight is for college friends only.”

“We didn’t even go to their university,” you point out, given that you and Taehyung studied in Seoul and had met there, instantly clicking after finding out you both hailed from the same city. “Why are we going?”

“We are honorary members,” he replies. “I went to high school with them and you…” he trails, trying to figure out how to phrase how you became an honorary member of their group of friends without bringing him up. 

“Are the ex of one of their friends,” you finish for him. “You can say it, you know?”

“I don’t know, can I?” He arches a brow.

“Yes. I don’t deny the fact that Yoongi and I dated.”

“You just deny how much it affected you.”

“You mistake my amazing ability of moving on for denial,” you groan. “But oh shit. Wait. Does this mean that he’ll be there at the party?”

Taehyung huffs as he settles in his seat and looks at your worried eyes. “For someone who doesn’t seem to be in denial, you sure look a bit anxious that he might be there tonight. Didn’t you say you can be civil with your exes?”

“Yeah, I can,” you reply defensively. “I don’t know about him. But then again, he moved on first, so I doubt seeing me would affect him much.”

Your best friend lets out a breath, not wanting to argue. He’s learned long ago that when it comes to Yoongi, you’re dead set on many things - like the narrative that he moved on first, that he was so much happier without you, that dreams were always more important for him, whether it was yours or his. Taehyung tried to help you process that whole experience, especially the aftermath, as you went on dating one man after another after you found out about Yoongi dating some local musician. 

But you always had a default answer, that you’ve always been that way - quick to fall in love and quick to fall out of it, and Yoongi was no exception. You met, fell in love, and while you technically didn’t fall out of love, the breakup left you no choice but to do just that; he was the one who insisted that you leave, after all, and you’d been the one too heartbroken that he didn’t love you enough to make you stay.

“Well then let’s just see what happens,” Taehyung shrugs. “We’ve got a game to watch, a party to go to, and friends to catch up with.”

“And a nice, peaceful home to retire to after tonight. I’ll need all the good energy before I see the rest of my family tomorrow,” you sigh.

Right, there’s that, Taehyung frowns. Your family’s too complicated that you insist you don’t want him to get sucked into the drama, hence why you don’t want him to go with you. But between that and the possibility of seeing your ex, he could only hope that during this trip, you won’t get your heart broken too early, too quickly, or too hard.

“How is it that the Pegasus have been playing here for months but it’s the first time we’re watching their game live?” Geumjae asks incredulously as he sips his beer. 

“Because it’s the first home game of the season against the Thunders when I’m home and when Jungkook and Namjoon don’t have girlfriends to give their tickets to,” Yoongi explains to his older brother. “And well, I never asked before.”

“Well, good on us that you’re here and your friends currently don’t have girlfriends,” Geumjae laughs. “Also, you could totally ask. They’re your friends; I don’t think it would be that hard for them to get extra seats for us.”

“I’m not their only friend here. I’m sure a bunch of the guys from college would ask,” Yoongi shrugs. 

“You’re not just their friend, Yoon,” his brother groans. “You played with them, you captained them, and led them to college championships.”

“Yeah, yet I’m the one hustling it out as a college coach while they’re playing pro,” the younger man huffs. 

He doesn’t mean to be bitter. He loves those guys, hustled it out with them until the late evenings just to get the proper training and workout in almost a decade ago. He couldn't be any prouder when Jungkook and Namjoon got drafted to professional teams and then reunited as teammates with the Seoul Samsung Thunders just 2 years ago. Yoongi had been the encouraging senior who messaged them right away, happy for his peers for being together again just like old times. He won’t lie and say it didn’t sting a bit to be left out from the life they all dreamed of having, with him being the only one who didn’t get to achieve it alongside them. 

“Well, if it matters at all, you’re doing amazing,” Geumjae tries to cheer his brother up. “I read online that many are calling your team to win it all this year. Imagine being the only person in your school’s history to be a champion player and coach? Not just anyone can say that.”

Yoongi hums, trying to let the thought comfort him. It doesn’t do much; coaching a college basketball team is leagues away from playing professionally. The energy is different, so is the hustle. Shooting hoops with the kids during training isn’t the same. The lights and the cheers as he sits on the bench calling plays isn’t the same either. He can at least say that with coaching, he’s able to shape and mentor the young ones, direct them to better paths, encourage them to reach their dreams, and to not settle for a life they’re not happy with or proud of. He’s got a bunch of players who got drafted last year and dedicated their first professional game to him, and that’s an indescribable feeling he’ll always hold onto. It reminds him that even if it wasn’t him, it was at least someone he cared about. 

He watches as the players do their warmups on court before the start of the game. This isn’t the first time he’s watched live, but it’s the first time with Jungkook and Namjoon as teammates, so seeing them goof around and do the handshake that they used to do warms his heart a little. Maybe it’s this bit of joy that he needs to remind him that it’s okay, that even if life turned out differently for him, at least basketball is still part of his life. There’s more he wants, of course, but this is way better than nothing. He reminds himself at one point, he didn’t think he could ever set foot on a basketball court again.

The game finally starts and though he’s usually quiet whenever he watches games, he can’t help the small small cheer he makes whenever Jungkook or Namjoon scores or makes crucial plays. He still knows their moves, can still read Jungkook’s pump-fake, and can still tell by Namjoon’s stance if he’s gonna make that rare three. Though he was a shooting guard during his glory days, Yoongi still prides himself in his playmaking skills and knowing his teammates well, something that scouts used to rave about. 

Yoongi sips his beer, no doubt enjoying the exciting match. He obviously wants the Thunders to win, but the Pegasus aren’t backing down, not letting themselves trail by more than 8 points. He’s in a bit of a trance, as he lets himself drown in the cheers of the crowd, imagining that it’s him leaving it all out on the court. 

But as he looks up on the big screen during timeout, he feels like the air is being sucked out of him. His ears don’t betray them either, as the announcer calls on your name and Taehyung’s - “celebrity sightings,” he says, while you and your best friend wave to the camera and smile like the superstars that you both are. The cheers get louder and Geumjae joins them until he realizes.

“Shit, that’s your ex-girlfriend,” he whisper-shouts. He laughs at the scene of his brother practically choking on his drink. “Wow, she still has that effect on you, huh?”

“No, she doesn’t,” Yoongi says nonchalantly, desperately forcing his heart to slow its beating. 

“Did you know she’s gonna be here?”

“I don’t keep tabs on her whereabouts, Geumjae,” he replies, suddenly sounding hard, defensive.

“Do you think she’s gonna be at the party?”

Fuck, the party, Yoongi slightly panics. Jungkook talked about the sort of reunion he’s throwing at his house after the game. Their old teammates will be there, as well as some other friends from college who are still in the city. You and Taehyung were honorary members of that group and Yoongi knows that you’re both invited, too.

“I guess,” he merely shrugs, looking like it doesn’t bother him much. 

It shouldn’t. It’s been 6 years, and while he’d been the one to break it off, you’re the one who’s dated a lot since then, something he can’t fault you for. You’d obviously catch a lot of attention - you did catch his - not just for your charm and unbelievable beauty but for your talent as well. He’s not surprised that you’re rumored to be dating Kim Seokjin, said to be this decade’s most desired leading man and who also happens to be your good friend, the one who’d helped you out a lot during your years in university. Yoongi used to be a little jealous then, something he never told you, and well, he guesses it’s meant to be with you and Seokjin now, a man he could probably never live up to. 

“Are you gonna be okay?” Geumjae breaks through his thoughts.

“Yeah. Why won’t I be?” Yoongi huffs, sinking back to his seat to watch the game that suddenly isn’t so interesting anymore. 

His question is left unanswered and his brother resumes his cheers, no doubt invested in this match that’s now tied. But Yoongi drifts in and out, his eyes following the players up and down the court then mindlessly landing on you. You’re seated in a relaxed manner, the opposite to how you used to watch his games. He sees you silently cheer for the Thunders, too, and you giggle at Taehyung when you scream louder than you intended, your hand covering your mouth as you lean on your friend and he laughs along. 

He could hear the sound of your laughter from across the gymnasium, as if the way the dulcet tone of your voice used to send shivers down his spine whenever you giggled in his ears was just yesterday. He shakes off the goosebumps he feels and tries to sit comfortably on the chair.

“Are you nervous?” Geumjae asks. “You’re awfully quiet.”

“Since when was I ever loud during a basketball game?” He shoots his brother an incredulous look. 

“You may not make a sound but your body does,” the older man points out. “I could feel you buzzing earlier and cheering in that Yoongi way of yours but now,” he eyes him up and down, “your legs are just bouncing. And you're biting your nails again.”

Yoongi catches himself. He forces his leg to be still and tucks his hand under it. It’s a tell he has, and he has no doubt that his brother has caught on. Still, he lies. “The game’s close. I want the Thunders to win.”

“Really? That’s what you’re going with?”

“Yes, now can we just focus on the game?” Yoongi chides, not wanting to confirm whatever his brother’s suspicions are. 

“Fine, but for the record, I know exactly why you’re nervous.”

“I don’t really care.”

Geumjae sighs as he watches his brother’s gaze go to you once more, unknowingly, perhaps, as Yoongi seems to shake himself off after every time he realizes that his eyes were locked on your direction. But he can’t blame the younger man. You entered his life and he fell, extremely hard, and letting you go was the most difficult thing he ever had to do. Yoongi doesn’t need to tell him though, but there’s enough of his younger brother’s broken pieces lying around for Geumjae to know that it was also something he regretted doing, and he wishes his brother was at least brave enough to admit all that.

The Thunders win by 5 points. It was nail-biting until the very end. It was Namjoon’s crucial offensive rebound and Jungkook’s 3-point shot that sealed the game for them, and Yoongi was present enough to witness those last few plays. He decides to enjoy this moment with his friends, knowing they’d be asking him about it later. If he’ll still go to the party. Somehow, seeing you again made him a little dizzy. It was still on the screen, but now he’s not sure he’ll know what to do when he sees you in person. 

He and his brother let the crowds go before heading out separately. Geumjae’s car is parked elsewhere, and Yoongi decides to head to the washroom and pace his walk to the parking lot. Hands on his pockets and eyes glued to the floor, he hears a gasp, and he releases one himself when he sees you, hiding behind one of the vending machines as a group of fans at the end of the hallways starts walking towards your direction, wondering aloud where you went. 

He sees the panicked look in your eyes and decides to stop the crowd before they come any closer. 

“She headed that way,” he announces, pointing to the right. “There’s an exit there. She probably left already.”

You hear the disappointed sighs, and much as you don’t want to let your fans down - you’re not one to deny them autographs - there have been too many of them this afternoon and you weren’t mentally prepared to accommodate each one of them. The footsteps disappear not long after and you let out a sigh of relief. That was close, but you didn’t expect Yoongi, of all people, to be the one to stir them away.

You turn to him, about to say your thanks, but somehow the words get stuck in your throat. You recall being a giddy mess the very first time you saw him, with nibbled lips and palpitating heart as you watched him shoot baskets and dribble the ball like no one’s business, and you’d been a goner since then. But he was a lot thinner during that time. His hair was cut short and his eyes had this sharp, confident gaze that usually intimidated people. You eventually saw how they softened only for you, though, but you’ll always remember that summer and how he had you wanting him at first glance. 

This man before you isn’t all that different. He still has the same sharp eyes, with his look penetrating right through your soul like he knows you and well, he does, which is also why he was quick to misdirect the crowd after he perhaps saw the look of worry on your face. His tiny nose is the same, so is his pale skin. But his hair is now long, pushed back in the middle as it softly reaches close to his shoulders. He’s a lot leaner; you can easily tell from what’s hiding behind his thin white shirt underneath his blue jacket. You recall him dressing mostly in monotone colors, so seeing him in something a little more striking is new. He’s gorgeous just like before, and you don’t really know why you expected that he wouldn’t render you speechless this time around.

“___,” he calls out. “Were they bothering you?”

“No, uh…” you stutter, hating yourself for suddenly being nervous. “There were just too many of them and they were getting quite close, I kind of panicked. Stupid, really. I should be used to it by now. More of them came and I just…”

“If they were invading your personal space then that’s not right,” he says, his tone so serious you mistake it for worry. “Did they touch you or anything?”

“Oh no! Nothing like that. I just got a bit overwhelmed.”

“Where’s Taehyung?” He asks, as you watch him walk to the vending machine where you’re hiding, tap his card, and then get the bottled water that falls out. He opens it and hands it to you as if he’d done this so many times before, and well, he actually has.

“He met up with a couple of friends,” you explain. “The crowd got to me right after and I kinda lost him, but I told him I’ll meet him outside, somewhere near where the players come out.”

“Hmm, okay,” Yoongi hums, looking away. 

He should’ve expected you to look way more beautiful up close but he tends to overestimate his ability to be entranced by you. He’s surprised he even got any word out, but the worry crept in the moment he saw you look a little winded and he just wanted to make sure you were alright. You’re a celebrity, after all, and the city’s “Princess,” as they claim. 

You look a little nervous though, and a part of him just wants to scold Taehyung for leaving you behind, seeing as neither of you looked like you had security with you earlier. But that shouldn’t be his responsibility anymore, he reminds himself. 

“Thanks for the water, by the way,” you speak up. “How much was it?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“Thanks again,” you smile shyly. “So, uhm, do you know where the other exit is? I’m kind of lost.”

“Oh, uh… the one close to where the players go out is there,” he cocks his head to the left, towards a hallway behind swinging doors. “I can uh, I can show you where.”

“Ah, that would be great. Did you park close there, too?”

No.

“Yeah,” he lies. “Let’s go before more people see you.”

He opens the door and walks after you. It doesn’t help that the hallway suddenly feels much smaller and closed off because now, Yoongi has to listen to your footsteps and nothing else, since neither one of you chooses to talk. 

What does he say to the woman he broke up with 6 years ago? Maybe he can say something about your recently concluded series. He thought it was really good. Is it weird to ask what your next project is? Perhaps. You probably can’t even tell him. How was it like being the leading lady this time? Fuck, he’s not a talk show host or anything like that. 

He sees the end of the hallway before his mind can come up with another stupid question, and he rushes to the door before you do, catching you by surprise. 

“Just wanted to make sure there’s no one to bother you,” he explains, as you exit the building with questioning eyes. 

“Oh, thanks,” you smile shyly again. 

He’s not used to it. He remembers the way your eyes used to gaze at him constantly, how your smile and laughter were all cheeky and flirty, how the tone of your voice was always so confident, so charming. He thinks that maybe like him, you’re just as surprised and unsure about seeing each other after so long. He doesn’t know what to make of things beyond that.

“Do you have someone to pick you up?” he asks, needing to prepare himself if, as a last resort, he’d need to drive you somewhere.

“Yeah, Tae and I were supposed to ride together but,” you pause, checking your phone for your best friend’s text message, “he rode off with his friends and said he’d meet me at Jungkook’s instead so I’m just waiting for the guys. There’s the—”

Party, Yoongi says in his head.

“___!” Jungkook’s loud voice cuts you off. He jogs up to you and puts an arm around your shoulders, unaware of the man in front of you who’s being blocked by a wall. “You ready to go? Tae said he went ahead.”

Yoongi makes his presence known with a low grunt, his eyes pacing from his friend to you. You both look a lot closer than he remembers, and Yoongi’s mind goes to that first time you all met, how Jungkook had announced during their team celebration that the “girl with the yellow scarf on her hair is so pretty” and that he’d wanted to ask you out. Of course, things turned out differently - you weren’t interested in the younger man. But that was years ago. Jungkook has had an impressive professional career and he lives in Seoul. Maybe things have changed for you.

You follow Yoongi’s eyes. Despite many people claiming that he’s difficult to read because of the default unconcerned, almost detached look he has for every situation, you think he’s actually pretty transparent. 

Or maybe that’s just you. You’ve spent enough time with him to know his sound of annoyance and the meaning of his body language. You’ve memorized that pretty face of his at one point that you can tell the slightest parting of his lips and the tiniest drop of his eyes, which could mean that he’s confused, sad, or disappointed. Maybe all.

“Oh, we’re not…” you exclaim, surprising yourself, to the amusement of Namjoon, who suddenly appears next to you. “I mean, Jungkook and I aren’t… a thing.”

You promptly remove the man’s arm from your shoulder and try to decipher Yoongi’s look now. Is it relief? Does he believe you? Does he think it’s silly that you had to clarify that, which you’re wondering why you did?

“Okay,” Yoongi says. 

Perhaps you’re wrong. You can’t tell right now what he’s feeling.

“We just… got to hanging out when I got drafted by the Thunders,” Jungkook now clarifies, which he quickly realizes is maybe making this awkward situation a lot worse. 

You’re Yoongi’s ex-girlfriend after all, and Jungkook had been the one to reach out to you when he moved to Seoul, but not once did he try to pursue you all these years. He respects his captain too much and cares for what you both had, which is why he maintained his friendship with you even after the breakup.  

“That’s nice to know,” Yoongi replies, his tone nonchalant like always.

He’s glad he can keep his cool that well, even if his heart was just about to explode at the thought of you possibly dating his friend. He doesn’t know why he cares, though, as he never really thought much about the so-called code that stated that exes were off-limits to friends. 

He’s just about to turn around when Namjoon calls out. “Min, you’re still going to the party, right?”

Yoongi looks at you, who promptly looks away. Up until 10 minutes ago, he was about 80% sure he would. He didn’t think that being in close proximity to you would make him remember all sorts of things, and that itself is enough for him to run for the hills and avoid you. He won’t claim he did his best to forget about you - he at least tried, and that still counts - but he didn’t expect he’d ever get a chance to be near you, much less talk to you and be in the same place as you. Again. 

But he looks at his friends’ eyes, both pairs unsure yet practically begging him to still go. He remembers these looks, and he swears it’s because he doesn’t want to let both of them down that he battles with the inner part of himself and decides to still go. It definitely doesn’t have anything to do with somehow finding out for how long you’re staying, and why you’re here in the first place. 

“Yeah. I’ll see you guys there,” he replies, turning around now and heading towards his car on the opposite side of the parking lot. 

You watch Yoongi walk away, unsure of why your heart is beating as fast as it is. It had been like that since you saw him after hiding from the fans, and even more so when you walked silently in the hallway to head outside. 

You knew you were gonna see him, maybe even at the party, but not in the way you did. And all your confidence at not being bothered or affected with seeing him again melts away. 

You weren’t prepared for how good he’d look, for how concerned he’d be over your safety, and for that hint of disappointment on his face at the thought of you being with Jungkook. Neither were you prepared for that incredibly tiny part of you that wants to know how he’s doing and if he’d managed to piece together the broken parts of himself and his dream that he so adamantly chose over you.

You survive the car ride by glaring at Namjoon every time he starts teasing you about panicking over Yoongi thinking that you were dating Jungkook, while the latter curses as he drives, claiming he survived one of the scariest moments of his life. 

You arrive in Jungkook’s house in half an hour, a nice place he bought for himself because he said that Daegu will always be home for him. The sliding doors to the patio give it a spacious feel, and you see that a couple of his friends had already prepped the space, complete with beer kegs and beer pong tables, the way you remember they always used to party.      

The 3 of you spot Taehyung who greets you, and the 2 men next to you proceed to narrate what happened, to your best friend’s shock and amusement. You also fill all of them in with the first part of the story about Yoongi finding you as you hid away from the crowd.

“How… symbolic,” Namjoon hums. “You meet at a basketball court in Daegu after a game while you were hiding from fans because you’re such a bigtime actress now. I mean, it’s quite ironic. The universe is out to tease you or something.”

You agree, it is. It’s times like this when you wish you didn’t believe in fate and destiny because doing so would just give you false hope that you and Yoongi may be meant for more than just those 2 years together. And you absolutely hate it because you can’t fall into that trap of thinking that you’re meant for a happy ending that includes him. That ship sailed a long time ago - 6 years and about 5 partners later.

But as Yoongi enters the house, his bowed head turning up to search the area before daintily tucking a strand of hair behind his ear, you start to think that maybe that ship decided to turn back around and sail towards you once again. He briefly meets your eyes before someone calls out to him, and you’re left to admire him from afar, cute button nose and impeccable side profile and all. 

Taehyung pulls you by the arm and whispers in your ear. “Okay, so what’s our plan?”

“What do you mean, our plan?” You ask, realizing you’ve lost Yoongi as you glance in the direction of where he was, no longer finding him there. “Plan for what?”

“Yoongi, obviously,” Taehyung rolls his eyes. “Do we avoid him, be civil, pretend you don’t think about him anymore, or act like the past 8 years didn’t happen and we don’t actually know him?”

“None of the above,” you groan. “What kinds of options are those?”

“Decent ones?”

“Nope. You’ve already had a lot to drink and I don’t trust you when you’re drunk.”

“Except you should. This is when I don’t hold back when it comes to you,” Taehyung answers.

“And you hold back otherwise?” You frown. 

“Just when it’s about him. It was tough for a long time. I know sometimes it still is.”

You don’t have the heart to disagree. This man has been your best friend for a decade and he knows how you are, knows which pains of yours you’re willing to talk about and which ones you’d rather hide away. Your acting skills may be good but you know that Taehyung can see behind all the smiles and the detachment and the effort to look okay, and whatever it is he’s thinking, there’s a good chance he might be right. You’ve just never been brave enough to admit them. 

The look of understanding you both share gets disrupted when cheers erupt in the middle of the living room, seeing that Seungkwan had just beaten Jungkook in beer pong. The pro player demands a rematch and the entire house cheers in agreement. Jungkook takes the next game but Seungkwan won’t back down. 

“Let’s do it in pairs,” he challenges. “I take Joon.”

“Fine,” Jungkook says, his game face on, knowing there’s one other person he knows could win this with him. “I take the Captain.”

Cheers erupt once more as people push Yoongi to the center where the rest of the guys are. He shakes his head, seemingly uninterested in partaking in tonight’s festivities but goes anyway after much coaxing from everyone. He then does his handshake with Jungkook to the younger man’s insistence, and you watch Yoongi’s soft, shy smile appear. 

And just like the very first time you saw that, you feel your heart thrum in excitement. There was always something special about it, and back then it was because he rarely did it, but he did it a lot when he was with you. It’s nice to see it during a moment like this - surrounded by his old friends while having fun with them. You’re glad he shows more of it now, and you wonder how many people fell harder for him because of it. 

You watch from the sideline as the Jungkook-Yoongi pair score 4 straight. Seungkwan complains that Namjoon isn’t making any shots, prompting the older man to claim that he’s way better at dunking than shooting tiny balls like they’re jumpers. They eventually lose after all the theatrics but it’s enough to get the guests going, as you find yourself teasing both men as well. 

You remember their house parties being this rowdy and this loud, given all the energy and testosterone that these athletes had so much of. That obviously hasn’t changed, and despite all of them having grown up, looking all mature and much more respectable, the naughtiness remains, especially once they’ve had too much to drink. 

It’s why you find yourself surrounded by a bunch of the guys, asking for a photo with you to show off to their friends and families. 

“I’m showing this to the guys at the office,” Seungkwan announces as he gets your approval over the selfie picture he took of you both. “They’re not gonna believe I went to college with an actress.”

“Uh, I didn’t go to college with you,” you laugh along with the others. “I studied in Seoul.”

“Then how the fuck do we know you?” He exclaims, no doubt drunk out of his mind at this point. You remember him having a short-term memory every time.

“He’s the Captain’s ex, dumbo!” Soon-young reminds him, another one of the younger guys who hasn’t drank as much but was never good at knowing what not to say. “Remember the summer before his final year? She was with us all the time.”

“Oh right. They were inseparable and looked so in love,” Seungkwan giggles, and at this point, the rest of the people just go with what he’s saying. 

Not you though, neither does Yoongi, and neither does Namjoon, who slaps the back of Seungkwan’s head to loud-whisper that the ex-couple in question is right there.

“Shit, did they hear me?” Seungkwan wonders out loud and looks around before sipping his beer. “I meant it though.”

He laughs drunkenly, so do many others. There’s really only a handful of you who aren’t intoxicated, but right now you wish you were. 

“Wait, they’re both here?” Seungkwan recovers, eyes now glassy. 

He gasps when his gaze turns to you and then Yoongi, and he puts his arm over your shoulder and slightly drags you to the right so he could put his arm over Yoongi, too.

“I found them!” Seungkwan squeals, pushing both of you to face him. “Shit, you still look good together.”

“Alright, dude, that’s enough,” Namjoon finally steps in, pulling the inebriated man away. “Sorry,” he turns to you. “Don’t mind anything he said.”

Too late, you want to say, but you release an awkward laugh instead. 

“They haven’t changed since college, huh,” Yoongi says, surprising you. “They still put us on the spot then leave us to deal with the aftermath,” he continues, watching as the group disperses to go drink and chat again. 

You turn towards him and sigh in relief over the small smile he has on. You swear the tension was so thick earlier that you could cut it with a knife, but Yoongi doesn’t seem bothered. He looks calm like he always does, and just like those first few times, you take your cue from him. You try to release the tension from your body and smile. 

“They should be banned from drinking when there are ex-lovers in the building,” you chuckle. “But I’m pretty sure he’ll be apologizing to you like crazy once he’s sober. Wish I could see that.”

“I can’t wait for that, too,” Yoongi hums. 

A wave of silence envelopes you both. The sounds of your friends seem like white noise now, and with the background music on and the man next to you just sipping his drink, it’s oddly comforting. 

You learned long ago that he has this amazing ability to do that - make people around them feel calm. There’s something so reassuring about him that remarks about your past don’t faze him, and now that’s rubbing off on you, as you feel the awkwardness slowly melt away.

You and Yoongi stand by the couch while the world around you continues. You’d stay in this bubble with him if it wasn’t so familiar, only because the familiarity scares you a little. You don’t want to know if anything else feels the same.

“I’m gonna look for Tae,” you say, breaking the silence. 

You only need to look to your left at the sound of someone hooting to find your best friend downing another cup of some concoction, and by the sound of his laugh, you know this is the one that will do it for him. This is his point of no return. Anything he does after is not meant for many people to see; he has an image to protect, after all.

“Alright, that’s my cue,” you say, walking towards him. 

You cup Taehyung’s face in your hands and tell him that the party’s over and you’ll take him home. He argues, but you remind him that he’s a celebrity and that he can’t have drunk pictures of him circulating online. His inebriated mind sort of gets it, and you take him in your arms and start looking around, trying to see which of the guys are the most stable one to drive.

“How are you going home?”

“Uh…” you turn to face Yoongi. “One of… them? Jungkook, Wooz, Soon-young all offered.”

“And they’ve all had a lot to drink,” he replies.

“Who here hasn’t?” You chuckle, eyes still searching the room. You don’t want to ask your safest option, which is the man in front of you. You’re not quite sure how your heart can handle that. 

“Me,” he says so casually. “I just had one bottle.” 

You know what he means, even more when he goes to Taehyung’s side to help you assist your drunk best friend. Yoongi doesn’t say anything else though; he just stands there while waiting for your reply. This is about safety, you remind yourself, and it has nothing to do with suddenly wanting to be in his presence just a little longer.

“Okay,” you reply, knowing he knows what you mean, too.

“Okay.”

All three of you say goodbye to your friends, all of whom give you smug looks, passing up on the teasing now given Yoongi’s displeased face after someone remarks that “mom and dad are taking care of their kid again.” This isn’t a new scene for them, either. Taehyung just tends to have a lot of genuine fun when he’s with his friends; it’s something you relate with after being in the industry you’re in.

You and Yoongi help Taehyung in the backseat where you sit, with your best friend’s head securely on your lap because he’s now complaining of a migraine. Your designated driver starts the car shortly after he checks on both of you. 

“Neither of you took your cars?” He asks.

“Tae did but passed up on driving tonight,” you say. “I would’ve driven, had I known he won’t be able to control himself. I’m still waiting for my requested rental car.”

Yoongi merely hums and focuses on the road while you… well, while you sort of focus on him. Your position behind the passenger seat allows you a view from the side - from how his fingers drum the steering wheel to how he nibbles his lips. His eyes are focused on the road but you can tell he’s focused on both of you, too, with the way he turns to the back whenever Taehyung makes some garbled sound or just to ask you if you’re okay. 

You watched him do this so many times before with you next to him, holding his hand and kissing his cheek at every stoplight. For someone who loves music, he never put the radio on when he drove you. He said it allowed him to focus on you, and that memory isn’t one that you really want to think of right now, especially since it’s silent in the car. You don’t know which ones you’d rather remember, though - the good ones or the bad. You suppose either would hurt regardless, and this wasn’t something that you prepared for. 

You make it to your best friend’s house as you and Yoongi assist him to the gate to Mrs. Kim’s shock. She scolds a barely-awake Taehyung and apologizes profusely to Yoongi, who says she’s happy to see him in their home once again. As Mr. Kim takes his son up to his room, Yoongi turns to you and asks if you need a ride home.

“I’m sleeping over,” you say in a panic. “Someone’s got to take care of his drunk ass.”

“Okay,” Yoongi says, briefly meeting your eyes before nodding towards his car. “I’ll go ahead. It was nice seeing you again, ___.”

They’re simple words that any old friend would tell another after seeing them in years, but somehow they hit you differently. This entire evening hasn’t been a dream or some made up scenario in your head where you meet the man you loved after so long. 

He’s here. With you. Looking at you in a way you’re very unfamiliar with - with a calmness in his eyes and a hint of care and acceptance, as if he’s glad you’re here but that he’s well aware of the years between you, of the years that passed by, of the years that changed you both. 

You don’t respond fast enough because before you know it, he’s turning around, ready to head out the door.

“It was nice seeing you, too, Yoongi,” you say softly. 

But he hears it, stops walking for a while, and then opens the door and walks out. 

You wonder if he’d said something the day you left, would you have stopped and turned around? Or would you have kept walking?  

But thinking about that won’t do you any good, so you turn away as well and head upstairs.

Outside, Yoongi steps on the gas, turns to the next corner, and then stops the car. He clasps his hands together so they’d stop shaking, and he lets himself breathe for the first time tonight. He’s kept his cool long enough, but after everything - the party, the teasing, the car ride - he doesn’t think he can hold the emotions in any longer, and he doesn’t even know what they are. 

Longing? Sadness? Regret? Is it the unspeakable feeling of fear at the thought of you dating one of his friends who might actually be good for you? Is it relief at the idea that letting you go was the best thing that he could’ve ever done for you? Is it confusion over wanting so badly to take you in his arms but not wanting to feel your touch, knowing it would remind him of everything he’s tried to forget? 

Yoongi lays his head on the headrest and takes a breath. You’re so beautiful, as if some light shines on you wherever you go. It’s probably the glow you emit; he’s told you that before but you always said he was just teasing. He sees it even more now. 

But it’s also the crinkle of your eyes when you smile that sweet smile of yours that makes things feel familiar, and because of that, uneasy. It’s that honey sound of your voice; he heard it as you laughed during the party and joked around with everyone. It’s that captivating look you have, the one that says you know something but you want to know more; he felt that look when he entered the house and as he drove you earlier. 

He wonders if you saw past him, past his nonchalance and calm demeanor. You were always so good at that - knowing there was more behind his passiveness, knowing how to get a reaction from him, knowing which buttons to push so he’d open up and let you in. 

He doesn’t know if he should be afraid that you still know how to do it, or if he should revel in it because he’s missed you, more than he could ever say and more than he’d ever care to admit. 

But beyond all that, he’s sure that one of his emotions is happiness. Every time you talked about work and being able to watch yourself on screen - he swears he didn’t eavesdrop but that he just happened to be there - there was that excitement that felt like the continuation from when you used to talk about your big dreams with him. 

You got what you wanted and you worked hard to get to where you are and he knows you’re proud of yourself and that’s all he’s ever wanted. Seeing that smile - he knows. Letting you go was the best thing he’s ever done for you.

“What are you doing here?”

Taehyung’s hoarse voice forces your eyes off the ceiling onto your side where he’s currently hugging his pillow, messy hair and pouty lips on display. 

“Trying to get some rest after I saved your drunk ass last night,” you bitterly respond. “I got to you before any compromising photos or videos were taken. You’re welcome.”

“Hmm, thanks,” he groans. “But uh, why are you here? Didn’t you say you wanted proper rest in your house before seeing your family today?”

“Right, uh… you see. Yoongi drove us here, and then he asked if I wanted a ride home but I kinda panicked and said I’m sleeping over so… Here I am!” You laugh, unconvincingly. “My rental car’s on the way here. I’ll drive to my house and then go to my dad’s.”

“Ugh, you’re so dumb,” he says, sinking into his comforter. You gasp in response. “That was your chance to be alone with him but you didn’t take the offer. We both know you wanted to.”

“Tae, being drunk and not holding anything back doesn’t mean you can just assume things like that,” you respond, sitting up and frowning at him. “I didn’t want to be alone with him, that’s why I’m here!”

“Why didn’t you want to be alone with him?” He answers back.

“Uhm, why would I want to?” You ask incredulously. “Since when was getting in a car alone with an ex ever a good idea?”

“Why? You’re afraid you’d kiss him if you did?”

You scowl at your best friend. “I should’ve left you there drunk with possible penis drawings on your face.”

“Just being honest. It’s not like you’ve never done that with him before,” he shrugs. 

“I hate you.”

“I know. But you’ll love me later on. At least I’m still half asleep.”

You push him awake, the stress heightening now as the previous night plays in your head. 

“Tae! What happened to my hi, goodbye plan?!” You groan. “I was literally just supposed to say hi and then be civil, like, acknowledge his presence but not be affected by it. But then we had some small talk and he drove us home.”

“We all know it was a denial plan,” he huffs. “It was bound to fail.”

“Gee, thanks. You’re being incredibly helpful right now,” you frown again. 

“Fine,” he grumbles, sitting now. “You had small talk, he drove you here. How are those affecting you and why are you making it a big deal?”

“I’m not making it a big deal,” you point out. 

“You kinda are.”

“No, I’m not.”

“You are because that’s how things started before. And you’re afraid that one small misstep will cause you to fall for him all over again, fast and hard, because that’s how you are when it comes to him.”

“You’re hungover and tired so your judgment is impaired,” you say, crossing your arms. “You remember what happened after all that. I’ll be perpetually grateful that you never pushed me to talk about it unless I was drunk and couldn’t remember things but I was heartbroken, Tae. And then I was numb. It took a while before I started to feel again.”

“I know,” he says, taking you in his arms now as he holds you like a baby - a rare occurrence, as this often happens the other way around. “And I can never fault you for it because even if it was like that summer fling that only happened in the movies, I know you loved him, genuinely and intensely, and a love like that stays with you. But he’s got a good life here, ___, and you’ve got an amazing one in Seoul. You just have to remember why it didn’t work out in the first place and make sure you don’t fall into that trap again. Just… acknowledge that. For your sake. And then do what you need to do so you don’t make the same mistakes again.”

Enveloped in his warmth, you take in your best friend’s words. He may still be hungover and may also be confused but his comfort never seizes, and it’s one of the reasons why you love him dearly. 

“So yeah, good on you I guess for not taking that ride with him. Maybe staying away and keeping your distance might be good,” he adds.

Your silence somehow alarms him, so he nudges you. “It’s a good idea, right?”

“I don’t know. Suddenly I feel like staying away and keeping my distance will let him know that it still affects me. He’ll always know me like that,” you sigh, hugging him tightly for more comfort. “And there’s this part of me that wants to show him that I’m fine, you know?  That even with everything that happened between us, I walked away from it knowing what I deserve, and that’s someone who’ll fight through life with me. He didn’t and that’s on him but he had his reasons, and looking back, maybe he was right. Maybe he had to let me go, and maybe - because I loved him genuinely and intensely - I want to show him that it wasn’t all in vain. And that I’m happy. Even without him.”

“You don’t need to prove anything to him, you know?”

Maybe I want to prove it to myself, you don’t say. There’s a stubbornness in you that doesn’t go away. 

“This isn’t about him, is it?” Taehyung levels his head with you. 

For someone hungover, he still knows you pretty well. 

You just sigh and fall back in his arms. He doesn’t push you. He just hugs you again until you both fall back in bed and he can comfortably curl his body all over you because it’s Taehyung and he likes to do this. 

“Just be careful, alright?” He pleads. 

“You know I also kinda don’t have a choice,” you reply. “It’s a small town and we’re bound to see each other. Jungkook and Namjoon have a game here again in a few weeks and that means another get together.”

“Yeah, but you know what I mean.”

You hum. “Promise me you’ll be by my side whatever happens?”

“Always, you stubborn woman. I’m the one person who’ll never leave you even if you push me away.”

The lunch with your family is how you expect it to go - with your older sisters making some backhanded comments about your fame and how you’ve been “too busy” to even visit, and your father trying to dissolve the tension. He’s at least genuinely curious about how you’ve been, asking if you’re eating well and getting enough rest. Your stepmom raves about your drama series and shares that she cried during the finale.

“Why did he have to go back to his planet?” Garam’s 7-year old asks after your stepmom narrates what happened. 

“His time on earth was up,” you explain. “He finished his mission and he had to leave.”

“But why didn’t he stay if he was happy?” 

“Because he had a responsibility in his home,” you smile. “He wasn’t made for this world.”

“He didn’t have a choice, sweetie,” Garam adds after her daughter comments that it was sad. “That’s understandable. Some people leave because they’re no longer happy with those around them. Or because their dreams are more important than those they supposedly love. Isn’t that sadder?”

“It is. Don’t leave me, Mama,” the little one pouts.

“Oh sweetie, I never will. I don’t leave people that I love,” Garam responds, glancing at you to make a statement. 

You zone out after that, not wanting to engage with your sisters anymore. You play with their kids, though, who get excited when they see you on TV. You don’t want to treat them like you hold a grudge against them even if you do so with their mothers. Your sisters continue to do that with you - resent you when it’s your mom they’re really angry at for leaving your already unhappy family after she got her dream job in Paris. You were never angry though but you did sort of follow in her footsteps, and your sisters hated you even more because of that. 

“Are you staying for dinner?” Your father asks, the hope in his eyes hurting you. 

Things weren’t going well with your parents for a while, giving your mom more reason to leave, but you always wished that he had done more for you to feel loved in the home that started to become toxic after it fell apart, but you suppose he was just trying to heal his own broken heart after his wife left. It felt like your sisters weren’t going to forgive you when you decided to leave yourself, and he just let you walk away without making sure you knew he still loved you despite your decision. 

He’s moved on now, though, and happy with someone who prioritizes him and his needs. But too much time and distance can pull people apart - you can see them without the desire of being with them. That’s the reality with you and him now and there’s not much you can do about it. 

“No, I’ve got other plans,” you respond, glancing at your sisters who return your look with bitterness. “I’ll see you at grandpa’s tomorrow.”

You drive around for half an hour with no destination in mind. It’s nice to see how much this place has changed and discover which parts of it still feel the same. 

You pass by an antique shop - the antique shop,  a generations-old family-run store that used to be the hub of imported furniture that the townspeople once flocked to. It’s now a speciality store that still sells one-of-a-kind items but it also refurbishes old pieces. You see a poster on the window that’s promoting woodworking workshops. You won’t be surprised to find out whose idea that was.

A man briefly exits, and you stop near the front, wanting to just take it in. He’s got more gray hair now and walks a little slower but he looks just like you remembered - soft crinkled eyes, comforting smile, a look that you know all too well. You decide to enter, as you’re desperate for something - anything - that feels more like home than the one you just came from. 

“May I help you?” The man asks.

“A greeting and a hug would do,” you look up at him and smile.

“___?!” He gasps, walking outside the counter to get closer to you. “Is that really you, my dear?”

“Yes it is, Mr. Min,” you smile, returning the hug that you requested. “Just passing by my favorite antique shop in town. How are you doing?”

“Great! Business is stable and I’ve still got a lot of fight in me to continue,” he chuckles. “How about you? The big city treating you good?”

“It is,” you reply. “I think I’m doing quite okay there.”

“Ah, well it should be treating you amazingly. That’s what you deserve.”

You continue the conversation, with you asking about his latest projects and him, talking about his furniture and wood like his children, pride laced in his voice every time. He asks you about your latest series and if you’ve met his favorite actors and you indulge him. His laughter is music to your ears. You remember spending time here where he worked on his pieces while you talked about your favorite movies.

“Does my son know you’re here?” He asks after a beat of silence. 

“He does. I saw him last night. He looks well.”

“He does, doesn’t he? It took a while but he’s doing much better than before - smiling, joking around, helping me at the shop, talking about basketball again. It’s nice to see.”

The words hit you in ways you didn’t expect. Breaking up with Yoongi was tough to get over. Those last few months had been incredibly hard and so many times you thought that maybe if you’d been more patient, maybe things would’ve turned out differently. 

But you remember how during those last days with him, he’d lost the glimmer in his eyes and the softness of his smile. Not even you could bring those back. His passion for things just dwindled; he stopped wanting more, stopped wanting you, stopped thinking that things could still work out for him after what he suffered through. 

You’d kept in touch with Namjoon and Jungkook at their insistence, and they’d been the one to update you on how Yoongi was doing. Not a lot of details but just general things like the jobs he took and that he was keeping himself busy and that he was trying to get back on the court. It wasn’t with unpleasant stories, though - you learned about his new girlfriend from them, and that he didn’t play basketball for awhile, and that during the toughest days, he considered giving it up altogether. 

You knew he’d done well. You learned that from the guys, too. But hearing it from his father is different; you can’t imagine how it must’ve been like for Mr. Min to see his son start to change from what he used to be. But you know that as the good father that he is, he made sure that Yoongi knew he wasn’t alone. 

“And that’s good to hear,” you say. “Yoongi deserves all the happiness this world can give. I’m glad that he’s found his joy in basketball again it seems. And that he found it here.”

“He has, but I guess something will always be missing. He’s a lot better but he’s not the same. A parent would know, you know? The flame doesn’t shine as bright,” Mr. Min answers, the tinge of sadness in his eyes hurting you a little. 

But you just nod. His words seem to mean more but you don’t want to know what it is. 

“Dad, what did you want me to look at?”

Yoongi’s voice echoes in the shop and you can’t help but turn to him who’s just entered and looks as shocked as his father was earlier. 

You have a soft smile on, and Mr. Min knows not to intervene. 

“Oh, nothing,” he says, thinking that the new wood he acquired could wait. “Just watch over the counter for me while I check something inside, alright Son?”

He doesn’t let the younger man answer and just heads to the back, leaving you and Yoongi alone. He walks closer but keeps his distance. It’s enough for you to appreciate the softness of his face, though. His presence had always been reassuring; you see him twice and you’ve felt more comfort with him than you have in months. You don’t know how he does it, but that shouldn’t surprise you anymore. This isn’t the first time anyway. 

“Is Taehyung alright?” He breaks the silence. 

“Recovering, but more from his parents giving him shit for drinking too much,” you chuckle. “He got an earful and Mrs. Kim said she won’t let him in the house next time he gets that drunk. He’s doing chores as punishment.”

“Ah, well it’s been a while. It was nice to spend time with everyone again.”

“It was,” you smile now. 

“And you? Are you okay?” He asks, sincerity laced in his low voice.

“Yeah, of course.”

It’s the hesitant nod and the way your eyes look at anything but him, and he knows that whatever happened after last night is something you want to forget or seek comfort for. So he asks.

“So what made you come here? To the shop, I mean.”

“I was driving around. It didn’t register to me right away that I was in the area,” you respond. “And this place was always so calming for me, you know? The smell of wood, your dad’s stories…” 

You. 

“So I thought I’d come in”, you continue. “He hasn’t changed. It’s nice to see him.”

Yoongi always wondered what parts of you remained the same and which parts didn’t. 

Perhaps the playfulness tempered a bit. You seem a little more anxious than he remembers, too. There’s this sophistication about you that was always too good for this small town, and he sees that even more now. Your smile is still soft but it isn’t as bright. He won’t deny that it still makes his heart race, though. 

You have a habit of going somewhere familiar to seek comfort. You always looked for it in places, he noticed - in that dingy convenience store near your school, in your town’s secondhand bookstore even if you don’t like reading, in the Opera House where you and your mom used to go to. Yoongi learns now that that hasn’t changed at all. You’re in his dad’s store, a place you always wanted to go to after spending time with your family, and he supposes that’s where you came from.

He doesn’t know if he’s still someone you find comfort in and he doesn’t know if you even want to spend time with him after all these years, but he doesn’t have the heart to just let you walk out of here not knowing if you’re truly okay. 

He hated leaving you alone then when things weren’t good. You didn’t always want to talk but you said once that just hearing him breathing on the other end of the phone or just having his hand over yours made you feel better. He may not be the right person now but he’s still someone, and that’s always better than no one.

You eye the door, ready to leave, but his call of your name prompts you to look back at him.

“Do you have somewhere to be?” He asks.

“No, not really,” you reply. 

“Would you like to grab some coffee?”

The words are familiar. You hate that you remember everything about it.

“Just coffee?” You ask, almost teasingly.

He chuckles softly and meets your eyes, and somehow a part of you thinks that you shouldn’t do this. But you’re glad he asked in the first place.

“Yes, ___. Just coffee.”

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#yoongi fic #yoongi angst #yoongi fluff #yoongi smut #yoongi x reader #yoongi x you #min yoongi #yoongi fanfic #bts suga #yoongi fanfiction #exes to lovers #exes au

[burst-of-iridescent]

I'm writing this as a big Katara stan. I just found out that a new film about an adult Gaang is planned to be released, and Katara, like Aang, will be given a leading role there. I am so excited and glad that finally Katara will be given due respect as a character!

But for some reason, after searching on Tumblr, I saw joy about a new film in the entire Atla fandom except for our zutara community. on the contrary, there is a lot of discontent and bitterness. But why is that? Is it because zutara won't be in the movie? Well, yes, zutara is a fanon ship, it will never be anywhere but our fanfics and fanart. But after all, Zutara is not in the original ATLA show, and we still love it! This is no reason not to rejoice at the opportunity to see our favorite characters on the screen again, to see Katara again (God, I'm screaming with delight😍😍😍😍). Yes, there is a chance that the writing will be bad, but there is always such a chance before the release of any film. I'm just so happy to see Katara again, and the whole gaang too, and her new design for this movie seems so great to mе!

i mean this genuinely, anon: i love that you love katara so much, and i am really happy for you that you're looking forward to the new movie. i truly hope you enjoy it.

i don't want to speak for the rest of zutara fandom, but i can't share your feelings because - to put it point-blank - i don't trust the creators with katara's character. ever since they lost their writing team, nothing they've created post-atla has proven to me that they understand katara's character, or how to create a good arc for her. it's telling that the only post-canon comic featuring a decent story for katara (katara and the pirate's silver) came out in 2020, twelve years after the original show ended (and which was also, notably, the first comic that bryan and mike were not involved with).

i'm sure some people are salty that they won't see canon zutara, but personally i'm relieved that i won't have to see bry.ke ruin romantic zutara like they did with their friendship post-atla. i'm sure they'll do their damnedest to fuck up what remains of zuko and katara's platonic relationship in the new movie, which is why canon ended for me with the final agni kai. no magic pointy rock or canon ships in this household, thank you.

i wish i could share your excitement for the movie anon, but i just don't have faith in bryan and mike to do justice to the characters (especially zuko and katara) after everything they've said and created over the last decade. like really, calling zuko a bad boy in the year of our lord 2023? please watch your own show.

besides, nothing they can do for katara in this movie will retcon what they did to her in LOK. i already know she ends up as a sad, lonely housewife without any real power, impact or legacy; that can't be changed, no matter how they try to "fix" it. it looks like the movie has been delayed so my hope is that it just gets cancelled in production. atla has been milked to filth anyway; leave the og characters alone and do something new with the universe, or just let it rest in peace and find another story to tell.

#anti bryke #anti kataang #anti atla movie #zutara

[kitkat238984]

I Bid This Bitch Goodbye

Summary: As Tony Khan's niece and junior producer, you were placed in charge of an auction event where fans can win a date with their favourite wrestlers.

But when you spy a face that has caused you nothing but trouble, you are determined to bring this bitch to the ground.

Notes: I meant to post this yesterday but oh well. Happy late birthday, Hook.

4339 words.

There was nothing particularly special about you. You were just an ordinary woman with an ordinary life, ordinary parents, and an ordinary education. You supposed the fact that your uncle-in-law happened to be a billionaire made you a little less ordinary than some others, but you never let it get to your head. Whilst in highschool you refused to let anyone know that were in close connections to such major businessmen in the sports industry. They would have flipped. 

The friends you made were genuine and you were thankful for that… but unfortunately the enemies you made were also genuine. Right bitches they were. 

You did try to make a living for yourself at first by working in a gas station, however, you weren’t really going anywhere with minimum wage, and the offer to work with your uncle in his new wrestling company was always on the table sooooo why not? A little career push never hurt anyone. 

You were now a junior producer, learning the backstage roles that made up the AEW family that you were so warmly welcomed into with open arms. Everyone seemed to like you there and you gained many friends in your first few months, Hook being one of the wrestlers you’d grown especially close with, originally getting along because of your similar ages, and now you acted as if you’d been friends since childhood. 

Of course, like any good childhood friend, he loved to mess with you and tease you, for example whenever you’re tasked to call him to the ring he thinks it’s a funny idea to go wandering around backstage, forcing you to go on a wild goose chase trying to find him. 

—

“I need to start keeping an air tag on you”. 

“Or maybe you should start being good at your job?” 

“I’d actually be able to do my job if you weren’t constantly playing hide and go seek”. 

—

Such a child… 

Or how about the few times he snatched the clipboard straight out of your hands and held it above his head where you couldn’t reach? 

— 

“Just give it back. I need to get back to work”. 

“No one’s stopping you from working”. 

“There very clearly is someone stopping me”. 

— 

What a dick… 

But! Today, he would regret all those times where he’d taken advantage of your job and made you look like a fool. He would be at your complete mercy and like hell would you take any pity on him; you were going to have your own back on this guy and he was going to suffer and you were going to enjoy watching it. Just like any good wrestling match. 

You walked through the hall with a proud smile glued to your face, looking forward to seeing the faces of over-adoring wrestling fans, full of hope that they can outbid everyone else for a date with some of the most favourite wrestlers AEW had to offer. 

As the organiser, you were one of the first people to arrive, only a couple of other producers and stagehands present who were setting up chairs - which were most likely to be discarded once they were in such close proximity to the wrestlers. 

Oh, revenge was sweet indeed. You made this happen, Y/N. You’re an absolute genius. 

When you proposed the idea of a charity fundraiser to your good ol’ uncle Tony about auctioning off dates with the wrestlers - not only to boost good publicity, but to give something to young children who had dreams of wrestling professionally - he immediately fell in love with the idea and told you to start making plans and secure some good people for the event. 

Those wrestlers needed to be put to good use anyway. You knew they were good for something. 

“Hey, have we got enough chairs for everyone?” you asked one of your colleagues who was setting up the seating. 

“Uhh I think so. If not, only a few people will have to stand”. 

You hum in response and start setting up the microphone and speakers before your sound guy arrives to take over. You’d hoped he would arrive soon because you had no fucking clue what you were doing. You were just tired of walking around watching everyone else do stuff. 

Whilst playing with the buttons of the soundboard, a loud, ear-piercing boom echoed through the hall, accompanied by a few pained cries you’d caused people. 

Oh, the cringe. 

You practically threw the microphone down and stepped away from the area you were working on. 

Best to leave it to the professionals. 

“Good idea. Deafen us so we can’t hear the screaming superfans later”. 

You turned to the sound of Hook’s voice to see him at the very end of the hall having just walked through the door. Just your luck for him to walk in as you embarrass yourself. But your luck was about to get better. 

“Thank you”, you replied genuinely, watching his figure moving in your direction. “You’ll need it when they’re screaming in your ears all night. Probably in more ways than one knowing your record”. 

He laughed softly and awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck as he stood only a few feet away from you. 

“Hah you got me there, huh? A manwhore? Is that what you women call ‘em?” 

You shot him a warm, patronising smile. “Only behind your back”. You quickly changed your mind. “Oh who am I kidding? I call you that to your face”. 

You brushed past him, abandoning your post at the soundboard to help finish setting up the chairs, Hook closely following behind like a loyal puppy with his owner. 

“Nah I wouldn’t do that. Not with a fan, at least”. 

“Why’s that, fuckboy?” You joked. 

“Very funny”, he responded, rolling his eyes. “I’d feel like I'm taking advantage of their love and adoration for me or something like that. Not that I’d blame them of course”. 

You immediately stopped what you were doing and sent him a raised eyebrow. Like you’d believe that story. In the time you had known him, Hook had numerous women hanging off his arm (and that was only from what you had seen on social nights out with work), and sometimes those numerous women would be on one occasion. You were grateful you didn’t share the same hotel with him. Those were sounds you most definitely did not want to hear. 

He seemed to have noticed the scepticism written on your face and spoke before you had a chance to reply. “You don’t believe me?”, he asked in subtle disbelief. “I can be a gentleman, you know?” 

“You? A gentleman? I bet you’ve never even dated a girl before. I’ve only ever seen you walk out of bars with these ‘female friends’ of yours”. Despite ultimately joking, your teasing did have some truth behind it. For the four years you’d known him, you had never known this man to go out on a single actual date like to a restaurant or the movies or something cheesy like that. 

It didn’t bother you, of course. Or at least that’s what you kept on telling yourself. You had no reason to be jealous; you didn’t even like him in that way nor had you ever thought about him romantically. That was partially true until this moment. 

Sure you appreciated him, just the same as you appreciated all your hot friends. You work in the wrestling industry full of strong, sweaty, fit guys and girls. What did you expect? 

Fine! You admitted Hook was easy on the eyes. So what? It’s not like you’d ever wondered what those perfectly sculptured muscles he so proudly displays in the ring yet modestly covers underneath his hoodie felt like. And it never once crossed your mind what was so addictive about running your hands through his tousled hair as you’d seen him among all the women do repeatedly. 

Nope. None of that. Not. At. All… 

… 

… 

… 

It couldn’t be that soft, right? 

Stop those intrusive thoughts, Y/N! It would never happen anyway. 

“You’ll see one day”, he defended, snapping you out of your thoughts. “I’m just trying to have fun whilst I’m still young. I’m not rushing life like you seem to be doing”. 

You sensed that you may have struck a nerve with the harsh tones in his voice as he looked at you expectedly, although you quickly felt awkward, a little ashamed of yourself for criticising his early life choices and perhaps taking your jokes a little too far. 

A big apology would have to wait, though, as there was so much shit to be done before the event started and it would have been unfair if you weren’t pulling your weight enough. After all, this was your chance to show your uncle that you had what it takes to progress in the company. 

Temporarily moving the problems with Hook to the back of your mind, you opened your mouth to speak a quick ‘sorry’ with the intention of making it up to him later like buying him a drink or something. However, another voice from only a few feet away echoed through the spacious hall. 

“Hey, who’s been messing with this setup?” 

Your sound guy must have come in without you noticing because you whipped your head around to see his face scrunched up with such confusion and frustration. You winced and turned away, pretending you didn’t know anything. Perhaps there was time for one long, drawn out apology. 

Never had you been more relieved to be made fun of, hearing the sound of a snicker from a certain hooded figure standing before you to which you smiled lightheartedly in response. You should have known he wouldn’t stay mad at you for long. 

What seemed like what was meant to be the end of the conversation clearly wasn’t because Hook still insisted on standing opposite you, staring and twitching his nose as if something was bothering him. 

“What do you want?” You asked, not wasting any time and getting back to setting up chairs. 

“What makes you think I want something?” 

“Oh I’m sorry. Don’t you?” Sarcasm was basically your second language. 

Hook was silent for a few seconds, allowing yourself to secretly smirk whilst your back was turned away from him. Just wait for it. 

“Okay yeah I do want something”. Bingo. You were right as always. “I need you to bid for me”. 

You scoffed into a breathy laugh. He couldn’t be serious, right? That’s like straight up asking you on a date without actually saying it and with a lot more complications than there needed to be. He continued. 

“I’d give you the money back, I swear. I just really really don’t want to date a fan who’s desperate enough to be here to win a date with me. It’ll be chaos”. 

As much as you questioned the cruel wording, you understood where his point was coming from. The entry fee in itself was five-hundred dollars and these people would have had to have been glued to their screen, waiting for the tickets to go on sale. On top of that, they wouldn’t even guarantee a date because they’d still have to bid a ridiculous amount of money in the auction. 

You’d love to help him but you already had your sweet sweet revenge all planned out. 

“Ooo it’s sooooo nice that you’re willing to give all that money to charity, and I’d hate seeing you at the mercy of some overbearing girl - or guy for that matter - buuut no. I’m not going to bid for you. It’d be wrong of me since, if you haven’t noticed, I’m running the whole thing”. 

Hook’s silence spoke volume as he now knew exactly how you felt about him being in this auction. 

“Bitch…” he muttered, turning to the side. 

Gasp! 

“What was that?” you asked sternly, finally facing him, not having stopped setting up the chairs until now. 

“I said I… need to talk to Mitch”. He pointed to one of the guys on the other side of the room and pretended to approach him. 

You sighed before calling out whilst he was still within a few feet away, “His name is Thomas”. 

“Then I need to talk to Thomas, bitch”. 

“Oh just fuck off”. The conversation ended with you indignantly laughing at his teenager-y antics. 

— 

Every single chair that you among others had placed had someone sat in it - well, they were all allocated, at least. One crazed fan that caught your eye was standing, of course, violently shaking the person next to her who you really hoped was her friend and not some stranger she was using as a human cocktail shaker. 

It was show time. Honestly, you had no other job than to make sure everything was in check, ensuring that the auction went as you had envisioned. No introduction was needed as Tony Shiavone (who was way too happy to be the announcer for a change) went straight to it, announcing the first wrestler up for grabs, and you were quite content standing off to the side where you could watch the whole show as well as watching the crowd. 

“Coming in from St. Marks Place, he’s cold-hearted, he’s definitely handsome, and the girls go crazy for him”. 

Ha ha! Although it was the first auction, this was definitely the main event in your opinion. The one you had been looking forward to the most. 

“Weighing in at 202 pounds, he currently holds the championship for the best single life. He’s Hoooooooooook!” 

If the pool of merchandise wasn’t enough to figure out exactly how big of fans these people were, the screaming made it all too obvious. You hardly heard his song playing due to a mix of the yelling and the (hopefully temporary) deafness it caused you. 

Seeing Hook walk on stage as just himself without the aloof persona he puts on was strange to say the least. It felt as though all these people got to experience a side to him that only you had the pleasure of seeing, which you knew was absolutely ludicrous because you weren’t the only person in his life. Perhaps it was the fact that these ‘people’ were the women who were about to pay a ridiculous amount of money at a chance for his heart. 

Was this what jealousy felt like? 

No, of course not. You had no reason to be jealous. You were about to relish in the suffering he was about to endure by one of these fans. 

But what if the date… went well? What if he actually started a relationship with that woman? What would that mean for the two of you? 

You desperately tried to shake your head out of those thoughts. He said he wouldn’t romantically involve himself with a fan anyway. 

…but what if-? No! Shut up, Y/N! 

Hook’s eyes immediately met yours, eyebrows raising as if to say ‘wish me luck’, to which you smirked in a reply, reminding yourself that this whole event was meant to be enjoyable for you. 

“And we’ll start the bidding at three-hundred dollars. Oh straight in with the three-hundred”. 

The bids came in so fast that you could hardly comprehend how many bidding paddles were flying up in the air until they began to slow down as the price continued to rise to those outrageous prices you were waiting to hear. 

“Two-thousand dollars to the woman in the front here. Is there a twenty-one-hundred here?” 

The higher the bids came in, the fewer women that were left standing, eventually cutting it down to just two, and then to one, and boy were they desperate. 

“That’s five-thousand dollars to the woman at the front going once”. 

Pause. You peered at the lucky lady who had won the date with Hook and what came into your view could have made your body implode from how badly your blood was boiling. 

“Going twice”. 

Pause. It couldn’t be her, could it? But that long golden blonde hair and sharp facial features were completely undeniable. 

“Aaand-” 

“Five-thousand one-hundred!” Your voice spoke out before you even had time to think, your glare not having left the woman who stood on the front row. Her disgusting victorious smile returned her natural hideous jealous scowl you’d known for years which whipped in your direction as probably many other heads, including Hook’s, did - not that you were paying any attention to anyone else now that the woman who had been harassing you for almost two years was here in front of you. 

You were lucky you hadn’t spoken to the audience yet because you feared what kind of backlash you and the company would have received if anyone knew you - an organiser - started bidding in their own event. 

“Two-hundred!” Her voice fought back to which you quickly retaliated with a hundred dollars more. Like hell was this bitch going to get what she wanted. 

You knew Petra from highschool. She was one of those who thought she and her friends were oh so much better than you because of how much makeup they wore and how trendy their new Prada outfit was. She even bragged about her grades from time to time. After all, she did a lot of grinding on hard work to achieve those. 

“Six thousand!” 

Where the hell was she getting this money from? 

You presumed she was rich all these years, but not ‘I’m gonna buy myself a famous boyfriend’ rich. 

“Seven!” You on the other hand had no reason to worry about money. One huge benefit of working in your uncle’s business was the generous pay. Uncle Tony really did not hold out when it came to paying his staff. 

You could see Hook’s perplexed look from beneath his hoodie directed at you, most likely wondering why you had such the change of heart, but you couldn’t let your focus drift away from the burden sitting on the front row. She must pay. 

After you graduated and All Elite Wrestling had taken off, word had gotten out that you were Tony Khan’s niece, so when you mistakenly decided to post on Instagram about your new job there, the number of private messages you had received from people you had hardly spoken to in the past came flooding in, asking if you could get them tickets, or arrange a meet and greet with their favourites. 

You’d decided to ignore all of them, however, there was one who was painfully persistent that you eventually had to tell them to shut the fuck up because it was never gonna happen. That person was, of course, Petra. Every week or so it was all ‘Can you set me up with Hook?’, ‘Oh my god isn’t Hook just the hottest?’, and ‘Can’t you do this for me after all you put me through in high school?’ 

Who the hell did she think she was? A princess? Not everything isn’t her fault. 

You didn’t fail to notice the slight panic in her widened eyes after you raised the price by another thousand dollars. 

Where’s daddy’s allowance now, bitch? 

She hesitantly gestured to Shiavone to up the bid another hundred, however, now you knew she was running short of money, you felt you could wrap this up pretty swiftly. 

“Eight-thousand dollars”, you said with a smirk. You were definitely going over your limit and you’d probably have to budget your shopping for a couple of months, but boy would it be worth it in the end to see that smug face wiped clean off. 

“Nine-thousand dollars!” How many sugar daddies does this girl have? She probably knows she can leave and suck someone’s dick for another 1k. 

No matter how she got the money, you knew you had more. 

“Ten–thousand dollars!” The murmurs and Petra’s silence spoke all. You saw her visibly gulp and glance around the floor in disbelief. She wasn’t going to find another two thousand dollars on the floor so you really did not know what she could have been looking around for. She lost her pride a long time ago and she sure as hell wasn’t going to find it here. 

“And the date with Hook goes to uhh… the lady over there for ten-thousand dollars!” 

You sent Tony a small, thankful smile for not telling everyone who you were, and you were quite surprised that Petra hadn’t said anything appalling yet given she too knew that you had to have had a part in this event. She’d even begged you for weeks in advance if you could rig the event for her. In hindsight, you really shouldn’t have been at all shocked to see her here. 

One of the backstage crew gestured for you to follow them to which you obliged, leaving the noise of disappointed groans behind you. One glance at Hook before you disappeared behind the curtain told you that this situation was just as awkward for him as it was now for you. 

Your mind scoured for a suitable justification as to why you might have spoken up when you did. 

You could say it was for charity? Those unfortunate kids were about to be bathed in riches and opportunities with the amount of money being thrown at them. 

Not having any faith in your poor, disingenuous excuse, and seeing Hook making his way towards you, you decided that perhaps it would be better if you simply told him the truth. It was a valid reason after all. You wanted Hook to suffer for all the teasing he had done to you in the past but you didn’t want to torture him to death. 

“Is that why you decided to work here?” 

You stared at him with a puzzled look and he continued. 

“Because you’re a secret superfan?” 

Rolling your eyes, you scoffed and whilst waiting for an actual response to come to your mind, another half laugh, half scoff filled the silence, making his claim seem like the truth. You had not joined the AEW team because you were a Hook superfan (because you weren’t), but over the years of working alongside him in the background, you had naturally become one of his biggest fans. 

“Yeah, you wish”. You regretted the poor excuse for a comeback as soon as it left your lips. 

“Sooo are you gonna tell me why you just bid for me or are you gonna stand there all awkward?” He asked after a long hesitation. 

Yep. The truth is better than an obvious lie. 

“I knew the other woman from high school and trust me when I tell you that I was doing you a favour. She’s a slut. A tart. A whore if you will. I swear in God’s name if I ever see her again I will-” 

“Alright alright I get it. You can tell me more on our date”. 

You were glad Tyler decided to interrupt you there as you hadn’t even realised your hands clawing at thin air as if choking the very woman you hadn’t been able to get out of your life since you started working here. She had caused nothing but distractions and… 

Wait, what? 

“Date?” 

Hook chuckled at your doe eyes. “You won fair and square, right?” 

“Well yeah but I didn’t realise that– I didn’t think– I thought you wouldn’t– okay, a date sounds great”. 

“Are you sure? I didn’t think you’d want to date a ‘fuckboy’ like me”. 

Ah shit. Yeah you forgot about that. Well you supposed now would be a better time than any for an apology. 

“Look I really am sorry for that. I was–” 

“It doesn’t matter. You weren’t completely wrong. But I won’t be like that with you. How about tonight?” 

You sent a warm smile of relief. Perhaps you had just been in denial all this time because you were suddenly super excited for this date with this good-looking, hilarious, kind friend of yours. 

“Sounds perfect. It’ll probably be late, though. I have to help clean up”. 

“I’ll wait, don’t worry”. 

He edged past you and left you with your heart feeling like it was about to burst out of your chest and with butterflies hitting every inch of your stomach lining. The shaky breath you let out was quickly sucked back in when two hands gripped your hips and pulled your body close to theirs. 

“I like it when you're nervous around me. Cocky didn’t suit you”, Hook muttered in your ear. Every part of you tingled now and you felt you could hardly move. 

That would’ve been awkward if it wasn’t Hook. 

You managed to turn your body, watching him make his way to the back door, looking like he was walking down a fashion runway or something. 

Before he could reach for the handle, you called out to him, not letting him get away with the comment you had just realised he made. 

“You’re still going to pay me back, though, right?” 

He turned with a smirk and without saying anything, stuck both his middle fingers up at you before leaving the building. 

Smug bastard… 

You spent the remainder of the day with a gigantic grin plastered upon your face. You hadn’t dared show yourself on stage as the organiser after your little showdown with Petra, and you had hoped that all of those people out there would never figure out who you were either. 

Perhaps she would leave you alone now after that whole ordeal, knowing that she lost and would finally be able to accept that she will never be able to get to Hook through you. You had to give her some credit, however, because without her, some other girl would have won and you would never have been given this date opportunity. 

Instead, you would probably be eating ice cream in bed in pure jealousy rather than savouring the humiliation you had originally wished upon your date. 

Your date… Ah! Exciting! This ten grand had better be worth it. 

THE END.

Bonus: A few private messages! (I had no idea what I was doing)

Message #1

Message #2

Message #3 (Blurry schmurry. It's fine)

End notes: I would like to apologise for being naive. I thought it was cool that Chris and Hook were teaming, especially since I saw Chris Jericho's band in Feb (which was great btw) and I got overexcited at their collaboration. I scold myself everyday since he pushed Taz and took the belt.

#hook aew #hook x reader #aew #aew fanfiction #hook x you #hook x y/n #hook fanfiction #hook imagine #all elite wrestling #reader insert #fem reader

[ecoamerica]

Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc

The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!

#ACLA24 #ACLA24HighSchoolStudents #youtube #youtube video #climate leaders #climate solutions #climate action #climate and environment #climate #climate change #climate and health #climate blog #climate justice #climate news #weather and climate #environmental news #environment #environmental awareness #environment and health #environmental #environmental issues #environmental education #environmental justice #environmental protection #environmental health #high school students #high school #youth #youth of america #school