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actually-safer-to-kiss · 9 months

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See How It Shines

Summary: Spencer gets home from work to find Reader in tears over the new Hozier album.

Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader

Category: Fluff and comfort

Content warnings: The masterpiece of Hozier’s Unreal Unearth, me stopping halfway to listen to the entire album, me crying to every song I reference

Word count: 1.2k

A/N: shoutout to anyone who picks up on every song reference I make. I am instantly in love with you.

Spencer had been etched with the weight of unsolved cases and the relentless march of time, and he was forced to call it a night around six. The team had already pulled an all-nighter earlier in the week, so Hotch decided they all deserved rest. Spencer, however, wasn’t tired (he was; it was the late cups of coffee). Nevertheless, he makes it to his apartment door, skipping every other step. As Spencer turned the key in the lock, a soft melody flowed from the other side, haunting him yet drawing him in.

When the door opens with a slight creak, the music only grows. The living room was a sanctuary, bathed in the golden hues of twilight and table lamps, together casting long, ethereal shadows across the aged wooden floor. Plants adorned the walls and shelves. Since you moved in, he has never shared a space with so many simple living things. His record player, a testament to decades of shared music between him and his mother, spun its vinyl tale. This time it was for you, as it breathed life into the album as you sat on the couch in a nest of blankets.

Ah yes, it was Hozier day. The anticipated album release of Unreal Unearth. His girlfriend highly anticipated it. She had been vibrating as the week drew to a close with five days left, then three, then one. And it was well worth the wait, considering the tears continuing to streak her face as the Irish man begged for someone to not fall away from him.

Spencer set his bag down by the door and proceeded toward the couch with caution as if he were ready to pounce like a predator on prey. Except the end resulted in a tender hand on your shoulder. You looked up at him with a puffy face and snotty nose. It was Spencer’s next instinct to grab a tissue from the end table and offer it to you. Of course, you took it. And even though the answer was obvious, he still felt the need to ask, “Are you okay?”

It was a struggle for you to inhale, so you blew your nose again. "I didn’t expect this to be a breakup album.” The album sleeve was wrapped in your arms, proving to already be a prized possession. The tracklist was organized by the layers of Dante’s hell they fell under.

Spencer gave you a small smirk before placing a kiss on your head. “Well, I’ll go ahead and get started on dinner.” It was his turn to take the culinary reins for tonight. “Do you need anything?”

“I need to know who this woman is, Spencer.” You throw your head back as Hozier hits a high note that neither of you has heard from him before. You stay there as you ask, “Who made this man feel so much pain?”

“You want to fight Hozier’s ex-girlfriend?”

“Ew, no.” Your nose scrunched. “I just want to know how. The power to make a man feel this way.”

Spencer chuckled. He had answers. And he’s happy to not reply with any of them. “I’m making chicken parmesan. That okay?”

You nodded, soon returning to singing about holding a heart like a steering wheel. But you then grabbed his hand. Your eyes are red, and Spencer is sure you’ll need drops before the end of the night. “Did a part of you die the first time I called you ‘baby,’ Spencer?”

Spencer couldn’t help but smirk as he quirked a brow. “Do what?”

“They’re song lyrics.” You let go of him.

Spencer has never fully understood the uproar that comes with Hozier. Then again, no one really flocks to Beethoven and Chopin like they used to. Plus, Vivaldi wasn’t known for belting out in the middle of his pieces and Spencer can at least admit Hozier’s belts ( well, the ones he’s heard so far) tug at him by the chest. He came back to his senses quickly when his mismatched socks landed on the cold tile. He washed his hands and opened the fridge door with his good knee.

Songs of water and knives reminded him he had chicken to wash and cut. And the familiar feeling in his own kitchen gets the tasks in Spencer’s head in order. He could feel the weight of his week slowly lift, replaced by Spencer attempting to chop to the song. It was inefficient. Some songs play shockingly fast for a breakup album. He settled for a more percussion style of noise, making each slice more deliberate as a testament to his meticulousness.

The flour and breadcrumbs sizzled in the oil that mingled with the sight of you matching the pitch of the song and humming where Hozier shouted, caressing the album sleeve like it was alive and needed your warmth. The weight of the lyrics settling in your bones caused your head to fall in shock as a long, high note carried through the whole apartment.

The album played on, weaving tales of love and loss, each one successfully targeting your core and striking effectively. And when Spencer got into the groove of his own routine in the kitchen, he listened to the lyrics as they almost guided him to autopilot, reminding him of the joys that come with his leg around you in bed, ensuring you don’t move anywhere except closer to him. And how the idea of losing that is something he does not care to dwell on for long.

He could keep it together, he thought.

Until his voice soars about the glistening of an animal’s eyes. About the force of love for someone recklessly in the middle of the street. Spencer couldn’t help but feel a lump forming in his throat. It was a visceral reaction—Spencer's sniffle. But it wasn’t unheard.

You turned your gaze toward Spencer, your eyes soft with understanding. You could hear the emotion in his breath and the slight catch in his throat. “Spencer?” You asked.

“I’m fine.”

Your lower lip quivers with a puffy smile. “You’re crying.”

“No, I’m chopping. Chopping while completely fine.” His sniffles continued to give him away (sanitary stations over pride every time).

You couldn’t help but find the situation adorable. You lazily got up from the couch, letting one of the blankets slide off with you, dragging along behind you across the wood floor and then the tile. You carefully put your hands around his waist because safety comes first. You squeeze him, and he laughs a little. For a moment, he puts his left hand on your arm, keeping it there. You noticed how his fingertips were colder than expected as you looked at the cutting board from under his arm. “So basil makes you cry? Is that it?”

Spencer laughs again, diverting his gaze from the record player and clearing his eyes from unshed tears. “Today, it apparently does. There must be some emotional properties I didn’t consider.”

“Nothing to do with an Irish man singing his heart out?”

Spencer rubs his nose on his sleeve. Fuck sanitation right now; he’s about to go through it. The snot is evident. See how it shines, indeed. “Is he really singing about roadkill?”

“Yep.” You sniffle in return as you lay your head on his back.

“Fuck.”

“I know.”

“How does he do it?”

“That I don’t know.” You held Spencer as he let the music hit him. Taking moments to turn from the food to wipe his tears.

#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid/reader #spencer reid/you #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid comfort #spencer reid oneshot #spencer reid one shot #spencer reid fandom #spencer reid blurb #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fic

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izzysillyhandsy · 7 months

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A cool death - Ed's theatrical, performative suicide

"You know, I thought I'd have a cooler death than this. Something like being eaten, eaten by a tiger, or massaged to death by mermaids, or… belly-flopping into a volcano."

It seems I'm not done analysing The Scene from S2E2. It is a wonderful scene, perfect for rewatching - the music, the lighting, the double meaning of the things being said and the things unsaid, and the way it almost feels unreal, artificial and staged.

This is Ed's arranged suicide and he is playing by his rules, expecting Izzy to go along with it (as per usual). And at first, Izzy responds to it.

It is obvious to everyone that Ed is a highly dramatic person who loves the fantastical, symbolism and storytelling; he has a rich imagination and loves to perform. With Izzy, this is more hidden (especially in S1) but in S2 it becomes clearer and clearer that, in that regard, he is not that different from Ed. Both of them creating Blackbeard (their greatest fuckery) is only one example. The Kraken and the Shark is another.

For almost their whole lives, Ed and Izzy have been performing, creating theatrical illusions of their preferred realities to keep them safe, in charge and help maintain a certain lifestyle. But these illusions also helped in covering up their weaknesses (Ed can't kill, Ed can be unstable, Izzy loves Ed far too much, they're incapable of letting the other go, etc).

So is it any wonder that Ed, at his lowest point and just wanting everything to be over with, views his own suicide as a form of fuckery? He needs someone to kill him (the no killing rule extends even to himself) and so he arranges reality in a way to make that happen.

And for Blackbeard, it can never be an ordinary, boring, basic death. His death has to be cool and pretty intense.

Luckily, he has just the right person for the job - the master of real, sincere intensity: Izzy, who would do anything for him, who'd play along and follow him right into the fantasy, who has been with him for so long that he'd just get it.

And Ed makes it completely clear from the start - "I had a dream about you last night. I dreamt that you killed me." - this is about Ed and how Ed wants to die, dreamt up to the last detail. He holds Izzy's gaze. "It was good for me." - please do this last thing for me. He softly touches Izzy's (ungloved) right hand while standing up and getting into position - "I was standing. Just like this."

Izzy, probably half delirious from bloodloss and pain, follows Ed's every move with rapt attention.

So, how does Ed arrange his death? How does he imagine his last ever fuckery, his last shared fantasy with Izzy?

The execution of a mythical creature

Ed positions himself very carefully, at a good distance to Izzy and between Izzy and the stairs leading up to the door, with rays of sunlight coming from above.

From Izzy's POV, Ed must look like an angel ascending to heaven. Ed's posture and especially the way he holds his arms - almost a crucifixion pose - add to the impression. The sunlight frames him like a halo.

Contrary to the beginning of the scene, Ed turns his back to his executioner and calmly closes his eyes. He stands tall, proud and beautiful, accepting his fate with grace.

Perfect, beautiful and untouchable

Ed might be at his most beautiful and sublime in this scene. He is calm, dignified and regal. Izzy isn't granted the same status.

While Ed is a statue of perfection, Izzy lies on a filthy bed below him, drenched in his blood and god knows what else.

He's sweaty, his hair sticks to his face and his clothes are rumpled (and Izzy is normally so well groomed). His leather vest and even his omnipresent right glove are missing, as well as half a leg. He's so weak, he probably wouldn't even be able to sit up properly.

Also, in stark contrast to Ed, Izzy is almost hysterical. He's laughing maniacally, his face is contorted, and he's wildly emotional.

Ed is above it all, tragically beautiful and serene.

Surrendering to his fate

Ed almost projects the image of a hero or a revolutionary being executed by an evil henchman. He's Ed here - not the Kraken or even Blackbeard. His fate is decided by Izzy, Blackbeard's first mate. I think in Ed's mind, it is fitting that the man who "egged Ed on" to stay in his Blackbeard persona finally kills him when he can't do it anymore.

When Stede left him, Ed returned to Izzy without any plan what to do next. When Izzy kind of decided for him (at least that what Ed tells himself I think) Ed realized that he couldn't be what Izzy wanted him to be any more. He escalated the Blackbeard fuckery to become essentially Izzy's worst fear and nightmare.

Now, at the end of it all, he's back to being Edward, Edward who just wanted to be himself. And the man who had controlled him for decades gets to execute him. One last time, Ed is at the mercy of Izzy.

It is a compelling fantasy.

And Izzy finally, finally decides to stop playing.

At the beginning, Izzy seems entranced, a little hopeful, nostalgic and maybe even elated (even if everythings fucked to hell, at least this Ed wants to share with him). But as soon as Ed gets into position and expects Izzy to act executioner to his theatrical, arranged suicide - he just can't do it anymore.

Izzy could never kill Ed in any circumstances, but this must have been like a slap in the face (or, to be as dramatic as Ed, a dagger through the heart).

Izzy destroys the fantasy by essentially treating Ed like a little kid - "Ooh, you scared, Eddie?" and "Clean up your own fuckin' mess". He's not playing the part Ed chose for him, this is not who he is.

Izzy is not Ed's executioner. He is not a maniacal puppetmaster. He's not a higher power and Ed's not at his mercy. Ed is not a perfect, untouchable mystical creature and Izzy is not a hysterical wretch.

When Ed leaves (slightly disappointed, but not surprised, maybe even grudgingly approving), Izzy kills himself. Without any fuckery, theatricality and without an audience.

With his trusted scene partner gone, Ed immediately abandons his dignified hero fantasy. He throws himself into his next fuckery - the deranged killer. I'm quite sure that one wasn't as meticulously planned.

But when Izzy inexplicably comes back, the tables have turned. Izzy, who has finally taken control over his part in their shared destiny, appears on deck in the midst of lightning strikes and thunder. Now it's Izzy who is calm, dignified and untouchable - a mythical creature himself. Back from the dead, indestructible, disarming Ed with an impossible shot.

And Ed? Ed is visibly impressed. God I love those two. For the last time, Izzy is giving Ed what he wants, but on his own terms.

Finally, the crew kill Ed in the most dramatic way possible, in the middle of a fucking storm, on a ship doomed to sink with every soul on board.

Ed and Izzy can be proud - this was the most impressive fuckery of their lives.

#ofmd #ofmd s2 spoilers #edward teach #izzy hands #ofmd meta #why are they even being pirates #Ed and Iz should have gone into acting #every interaction is a ritual or follows some weird rules #I love them so much

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totallysora · 3 months

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West Side Story (2021 - Songs)

Here’s what I think of (pretty much) all of the songs!

Ok Icl I’m gonna skip the first one by the Sharks cuz I have absolutely no idea what they’re saying 😭 I do plan on looking up a translation at some point however, so I’ll say what I think abt it when I have!

The Jet Song - This song is unfairly catchy 😭 It’s a great introduction to the Jets, and the actual shot in the movie is just amazing, this song absolutely slaps

Something’s Coming - Ok so I actually adore ansel’s voice 😭 I really like this song, and honestly the scene in the movie was actually kinda fun

Maria - Once again I absolutely adore his voice, is he the best ever?? Ofc not, however I definitely think he did this song justice, and overall this whole part of the movie was great

The Balcony Scene (Tonight) - I love this song so much it is actually unreal 😭 This whole scene was the best thing e v e r (although Icl I was absolutely yelling at maria to get back inside before she got caught throughout the whole thing 💀) Also, Ansel and Rachel’s voices blend so well together?? And Rachel’s is just like,,,so s m o o t h it’s perfect

America - This entire song was m a g i c a l, Ariana is such a good Anita, and personally this is my favourite version of the song, and is one of my favourites songs in the whole movie, just because the whole thing was choreographed so well, the dancing is so good I love the whole thing sm, and also I love how Bernardo and Anita have different views on everything! Overall this song is just so fun 😭

Gee, Officer Krupke - Oh my fucking god I love this song sm, not only is it unfairly catchy (as most of the Jets’ songs are) but the entire thing was choreographed and pulled off so well! Although compared to the dance heavy numbers there was obviously a lack of choreography, but in terms of how well the did everything?? (Especially with 2 benches like that’s actually crazy) It was one of my favourite scenes in the whole movie! And I know I have said it a million times but This is why we cast Broadway actors in musical movies 👏👏 they pulled it off perfectly and this whole part of the movie could not have been better

One Hand, One Heart - Once again their voices blend together so well, and I just absolutely adore the way they sound 😭 I can’t remember this scene that well but the song itself is, although relatively short, still really good!

Cool - I also absolutely love this song! The way they moved in the whole scene was awesome, and although a majority of it is just background music as they do their whole lil dance thing, it’s still pretty catchy in my opinion, and is one I find myself listening to often!

Tonight (Quintet) - Holy f u c k, this song is so good! All of the different povs?? Both the Jets and the Shark preparing for the rumble, Anita preparing for Bernardo (clearly not prepared for what was gonna happen), Tony singing about seeing Maria, and Maria singing about seeing Tony, all of the povs work so well together, and this whole entire scene and song is just so ugh 😫 When Maria’s part overlaps the Jets, then Anita joining in, and then hearing everyone all blend togther, it is literal perfection and is s o good it’s unreal, I adored this whole lead up to everything, and the song is amazing!

I Feel Pretty - This song is actually kinda fun 😭 The whole scene was such a 180 compared to seeing the rumble before, and honestly I love it sm! Rachel and everyone elses voice are also great, and it honestly is just such a catchy song

Somewhere - I believe this was originally Tony and Maria’s song (pls correct me if I’m wrong tho!) but having Rita sing this was a m a z i n g, her voice is just so,,raw Ig 😭 The emotion was incredible, and the fact that she recorded this live?? Like hello share some talent with me pls 🤲 But honestly Rita is awesome, and the fact they were able to get her in the movie, and gave her a song is the best thing ever!

A Boy Like That / I Have a Love - Both Ariana and Rachel were such good calls casting wise for Anita and Maria, their voices are literally so powerful they’re so good 😭 The way Anita’s voice is lower, and Maria’s voice is sm higher, yet they still blend together? But also how they blend together in such a chaotic way, which really conveys the emotions they were both feeling during the song - Anita is more,,angry and closer to yelling, yet Maria is so much softer, she’s clearly in love, and the way she sings conveys that so well (Also Rachel’s high notes at the end?? And the way their voices go together so smoothly at the end as well)

The score/soundtrack in general - It was so good, the entire score is iconic, there is not a bad song in this whole musical, and each backing track suits the tone of the scene perfectly, I honestly could not ask for a better score and soundtrack - you can clearly hear how much work, how much thought has gone into this whole sountrack and movie, and it is perfect

Completely random but I need to pay homage to the whole dance at the gym, the backing track for starters, but mainly the choreography, cuz it was done so well and I absolutely love that entire scene sm! I love this movie with my whole heart, and I am so glad it was made! I definitely want to do a part 3 of this at some point with what I thought about the characters (and possibly also the casting, but the casting was perfect anyways so I probably wouldn’t have much to say abt that 😭) Thanks for reading to anyone who made it to the end!

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msviolacea · 6 days

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Thoughts on a very strange week. tw for discussion of death inside, mostly just introspection and babbling here.

It's still mostly unreal. You don't expect someone in their mid-40s to just drop dead at home. She had some fairly serious health issues, but it felt more like the "here are some really sucky things you'll have to live with for the next few decades," not ... this.

I knew Janine for what is, this year, exactly half of my life. Fandom brought us together, but after I recommended her for a job at the dysfunctional old office, that turned into more than two decades of professional camaraderie on top of friendship. I hadn't been as close to her as I was after we both left the old job, even after she ended up working at my new job, but by that point she felt like extended family. Someone who's always there, who you can pick up with at any point, who remembers all your weird family bullshit and strange personal quirks.

We always had music in common - music brought us together, and music ended up being the way we interacted outside of work more often than not. The last time I spent any time out of the office with her was last year, when she called and offered me her spare Matt Nathanson ticket, so we went and spent a Saturday afternoon singing and laughing at that new-ish venue up by the Twins stadium, then hanging out on the sidewalk afterwards for an hour, just catching up on all the things you don't talk about at work. I told her that she needed to come see our new house. She said that she'd love to, if the transportation worked out. (Her retinopathy was slowly stealing her eyesight, and had gotten to the point where she didn't feel comfortable driving in anything less than good light.)

She wasn't in the best friend tier, but she was in the family tier. And losing her feels like this weird numb void right now.

They did an informal gathering at the office yesterday, and I'm glad I went, because it showed me how much of an effect she'd had, now that she was in a department that allowed her to shine at the things she was good at. There's a whole cadre of 20-something research coordinators who just lost their "work mom," and are devastated. She knew who coached their old high school sports team, who watched the same reality TV as she did, who had medical issues that needed tending and who had kids getting over the latest school virus. She fussed over everyone, laughed with everyone, and was everyone's most enthusiastic cheerleader. (Everyone except herself, that is.) She entertained everyone with tales of her nieces and nephews and great-nieces and great-nephews, gossip and drama from the community theater troupe she worked with, and stories about her trips to visit friends and see concerts across the country.

She wasn't always cheerful. She had family issues, like many of us, and she never did find someone to share her life with and have kids with the way she wanted. She was high-strung when contending with the unknown in her professional life, though it seems that improved at least a bit in her current role - we all improved once we were out of that shitty office with its mold and self-important nurses who never left high school gossip behind. She was complicated and sometimes frustrating, but she had so much love to give everyone, and the enthusiasm to share that love wherever she went.

But now she's gone. And the world is a little dimmer for it.

After yesterday's gathering, I'm taking two life lessons away, things I'm going to work hard to remind myself of and put into practice in my own life. One, do the things you want to do, the things that are important to you, now. There's never enough time, and you don't know when yours will end. And two, expressing your interest in someone else's life is never the wrong move. There are sometimes when you live too much here on the internet where people try to convince you that reaching out to others is actually an imposition, because there's a weird philosophy that the only polite thing to do in this world is to leave everyone alone until they explicitly say they're interested in you. But that's bullshit. I sat there yesterday and listened to a bunch of people who were so, so grateful that Janine had made herself a part of their lives, large or small, and will remember her kindness and attention in some way for a very, very long time to come. Hell, I'm one of them. And to honor her, I'm going to try to come out of my introvert shell just a tiny bit more and try to be that light to someone else more often, when I have an extra spoon or two to spare.

I feel very odd this week. Odd, and emotionally drained, and not quite all mentally here. Death isn't a stranger to me, but that doesn't mean it doesn't punch me in the gut every time it comes calling.

Anyway. If you read this far, do me a favor - go listen to your favorite 80s or 90s boy band, or your favorite Broadway musical (especially Wicked), or your favorite boy-with-guitar singer-songwriter, and send a thought out into the universe for a woman you probably never met, but who deserves to be remembered anyway, even if it's just for the length of a song.

#jaime rambles #tw death #i have a lot of complex feelings about myself right now #but those are for processing in the weeks and months to come #this week is for being numb enough to reminisce

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smizzy · 2 years

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all night

as the famous Hellen Keller once said… *silent noises and movement*

Sadie; your girlfriend yet again stayed more hours at set, it's been happening this whole week and it was a new season so you couldn't blame her for doing her job but even if she came home early she had a problem with sleeping as most do.

'2:34 AM' you read the clock as you were in your shared living room, you weren't tired like any other day but it would've been much easier to sleep if she had been back home already. You decided ever since the night before you were gonna stay up until Sadie came back giving her a a nice break though it was very late for that.

20 minutes had passed when you heard a creaking door opening with keys hitting the metal door knob, she walked down the from the door to the living room after seeing a light appear and disappear when she was met with your eyes already waiting where she was standing.

Her breath hitched getting scared least expecting to see you awake "oh you scared me" She said with a relieved breath when she sat right next to you but pulling you into a tight loving hug "hi baby, I missed you a lot set was so tiring and it was hot on top of that" She spoke into your neck still holding onto the hug, she pulled away looking at your face admiring it when you pulled your lips together somehow closing the little distance away from both of you.

A kiss you both have been waiting to have together today, a soft cute one was all you needed when she pulled away you asked if she was hungry in which she nodded with a smiling kiss coming towards you again. A bit after when you grabbed a bit of leftovers you heard a quiet but loud song but when you looked you saw your beautiful girlfriend and the turquoise record player with another vinyl in hand.

She was worried that you were tired even more worried now the clock read '3:13 AM' she wanted you to be sleeping by the time the sun was up, but she couldn't lie the way she felt in the environment was unreal it was so peaceful and dim but ofc wherever she is with you it's always unreal so she wanted to be in this moment forever.

She came walking towards you and you already had notice since she looked your way so you turned to her, when she was finally met with you she smoothly moved her hands into yours.

You two swayed with the music, kisses, her twirling you, you twirling her, switching the music when you two get bored, happy songs, slow songs, pop, Taylor swift, whatever you two wanted to dance to you did and forgetting all about the food left in the microwave still cold.

maybe you should do this more often...

#sadie sink x reader #sadie sink imagines #stranger things 4 #max mayfield #fearstreet1978 #stranger things fluff #stranger things icons #stranger things gifs #sadie sink gifs #sadie sink fluff #KJSNLESJDLKLH IS EVERYONE OKAYYY???#it was a lil baby lyric at the top...btw

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fallenclan · 7 months

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FUAHAHAHAAA... Legally I'm an Otterslip apologist but largely just because I fancy myself an Otterslip understander. LOVE fucked up complex little guys with a good fatal flaw who've done something they can't take back. Whether they feel remorse or never do, or spend their entire lives lying to themselves trying to justify it, because if they weren't *right,* how can they possible come to terms with it?

(Seriously. INSANELY COMPELLED BY Otterslip being told by the stars he thought would recognize his efforts, the mother he all but idolized, believed in with an almost naive, unrelentingly heartfelt devotion, that he was wrong for doing the very same thing she had before, lashing out in his grief and anger. And he was! And so was she! But ohhh the cycles the legacy of it all. Preventable tragedy, all too human. I think he could've lived a perfectly respectable life under different circumstances, and he Might still - somewhere else with a fresh start, I think him doing well by the loners or even just Moosefall, even just in a theoretical attempt to save Hopethistle, is really compelling - but he'll never be able to wipe away his past. And the way it ripples out, too, effecting his own children, continuing things...)

(^ ...SSORRY. THAT GOT LONGER THAN I MEANT.)

ANYWAY!!!! Ohhh kitten hours... My first vote's for Jaycall but that's a little bit just because I have a type. Fruitbeam or Troutspeckle would be REAL cute also... :3 of course, there's nothing to say they couldn't learn some from each of them! They'll probably be fed with some litter close to their age, but it really is cute to imagine a communal raising type beat... VERY endearing. That's their auntie they learned where all the cool birds like to hide from, and that's their nestmate they play medicine den with, and that's their kin that tells them all about slugs, and that's their uncle that tells really good stories, and that's their clanmate that'll show them cool moves if they promise to be quiet, and that's --! so on and so forth...

WHAT I ACTUALLY CAME IN HERE TO SAY THOUGH WAS !!! .. (embarrassed) if I manage playlists for anybody in the clan (intent was otterslip or yewberry or brambleyew but have since had More Thoughts . So uncertain) would you like to see them

(WELL WISHWS!)

(**WAIT. ALSO. SWINGS BACK IN BC FORGOT. ALL OF THE FICS AND ART AND THINGS RECENTLY HAVE KICKED SO MUCH ASS . STARSPEED ALL OF YOU YOU COOL AS HELL COMRADES & FC THST GOES DOUBLY FOR YOU... ABSOLUTELY SPECTACULAR :3 YOURE KILLIN IT OUT THERE**)

(- 🐈‍⬛!)

AUGH ALL OF THIS!!!! black cat you literally never miss it's unreal. and the little bit about he kitten being raised by the whole clan made me tear up like actually it's so cute

PLAYLISTS!!! YES!!!! i LOVE playlists sm AND I need new music to listen to while I draw I would love love love to listen to them,,

#ill even share my otterslip playlist in response. meager as it is #fallenasks #black cat anon

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thelightsandtheroses · 9 months

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This Month’s Fic Recs

These are just a few of the fics I’ve enjoyed this month, but there are so many great and fics out there by very talented writers within this. Like always, some of the below I still need to leave comments on but I wanted to highlight here as a start!

Please be mindful of any content warnings and I believe all fics/ blogs in this list are 18+

Joel Miller

All of you, all of me - @wyn-n-tonic o wrapped up one of my favourite Joel series and it was just beautiful. I love this series so much and used to read it (and her other joel fic days) when I was still a lurker

Fall Apart, Again - @wildemaven Heidi is writing a wonderful Joel series that I highly recommend - angst, feels, it has it all.

Drip -@trulybetty- Betty utterly destroyed me with this drabble

A Safe Haven - @darkroastjoel - Vee updated ASH which is a fave Joel fic of mine

Dark Times @lavendertales ari posted a great Joel one-shot that looked at Joel’s grief.

Frankie Morales

Resurrected Chances - @mvtthewmurdvck jodes is just a wonderful writer and person and I can wax lyrical about how she writes Frankie.

Jack Daniels (Agent Whiskey)

Palomino - @fuckyeahdindjarin - I love this fic so much so far and it's so atmospheric and immersive.

Move Me, Baby - @psychedelic-ink Sil always delivers on some spicy vibes and I really enjoyed this stripper!Jack series

My Writing Throughout August

I updated Secret Smile three times (just) and chapter eight has one of my favourite moments I've planned from the start of the fic. I'm really excited for where this fic is going next as we’re starting to move beyond season 3 now. I've also been planning two future fics: a Joel fic (the insomnia bench iykyk) and a Frankie fic (ex!Frankie at the beach) that I will hopefully share more about soon.

Javier Peña

Secret Smile - chapter six - chapter seven - chapter eight

Favourite August Books, TV, Music, Games and Films

This month, I had a bit of a difficult time and so I haven't read as much as usual, but I've still highlighted some things I've enjoyed below:

Impossible - Sarah Lotz [book] - I can't talk about this one too much without spoiling it but it's a super interesting take on what it does.

Russian Doll [tv] - I discovered this show on a weekend where I felt absolutely and truly terrible and I just binged it. I have no idea how it stands up from that but it was such a different way to explore those concepts.

Barbie [movie] - I was worried this wouldn't live up to the hype, but I loved it and it was just what I needed. I sobbed and then cried with laughter throughout.

Unreal Unearth- Hozier [music] - ethereal, epic and as amazing as ever. What else could I have expected?

Oxenfree 2 [game]- if you give me a game where my choices affect the ending (like life is strange) and that has interesting spooky vibes? I’m there.

Stray [game] - you play as a stray cat in a cyberpunk style city trying to reunite with your friends. It's wonderfully quirky and I love it and it's clearly been made by people who appreciate cats.

#lolabee's monthly wrap up #fic recs

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sunskate · 3 months

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CPom on This Week in Skating Podcast, March 13, 2024

(highlights, or at least what struck me)

C: it's really exciting and such an honor to be 2nd in the US, such a strong skating country. but this season, we're really not focused on results, scores or outcome -we're just focused on skating to the best of our ability, and we know that's enough to get us where we want to be ... with those skates we would have been happy regardless of where we would have ended up. and really we went into that week wanting to skate those programs like we know we can

about their coaches: A: Madi is one of a kind ...the influence she's had on our team is a lot. i don't think i can imagine training without her. and Adrian and Scott, the 3 of them together, they're just fantastic

C: we're so happy with our coaches. we've created such a good team dynamic. Madi- she's everything, i love her so much ... i don't think we'd be having the seasons we're having if it wasn't for them. the plans they've created for us, the programs, the way we interact with each other, it all comes together really easily and works really well, so we're really happy with where we are

the strain of back to back Nats and 4CC: A: it's draining to be on top and focused for 2 weeks straight... but overall we're really happy. the coaches did a very good job preparing us. our runthrough plan was set so that we wouldn't even peak at Nationals, we'd peak at 4CC ...so there was more fatigue at the performances in Columbus. fun experience but extremely tiring and draining

C: ...when we got off that 17 hour flight, it was unreal (laughs)... it was a good learning experience. we got to Nationals and practiced Tuesday, finished Saturday night. we flew Monday morning to China. then practiced from Wednesday, finished competing Sunday. Sunday was just a crazy day - i swear we lived 3 days in one day- we had the competition, the gala the banquet, it was never ending. it was a really good and really fun 2 weeks. just very draining emotionally. physically we were fine- the runthroughs were easy-ish (laughs) just emotionally a lot

did you get some time to come down after those 2 weeks? C: we landed Tuesday morning at 6 am and we were on the ice Thursday morning

asks about Perfume - C: watched Anna Scherbakova's short to Perfume -the music was eerie but beautiful a different vibe - i really liked it. sent it to Anthony, then coaches. Adrian loved the music, had wanted to do a program to it himself. the next day- they played the music on the ice and we did our spin to the music we currently do our spin to, and everyone was like ooh this might work

(Anthony hasn't seen the movie yet) - did you come up with your own story instead? A: so there were mutiple options still on the table and the coaches hadn't [picked Perfume definitely], and Sam Chouinard came into town, and we decided to play around off the ice and make a short movie just exploring the story and possibilities, and we came up with one about the 5 senses... we played that movie for the coaches, and that was the pushing factor in choosing the free dance

what did you think of the 80s for the RD this year? C: i think it's really fun...the style of movement is really different from what we've done A: overall a great success

how did you choose Stevie Nicks? C: Sam brought us a whole playlist... we had a few ideas and we wanted to see what he was inspired by, and that was one of the pieces. he had a different way of moving to it, and the combos he made were really cool, we really liked them. it was really different from what we were used to, so we thought that could be a good direction for us that would push us in the intensity...

A: it comes back to that one week with Sam which is so special. both programs are heavily influenced by him, it was an honor to work with him this year, it was a lot of fun

(Sam came to Komoka for their week)

thinking of MTL Worlds - Christina, you're from MTL - what are you looking forward to the most C: it's nice bc a lot of my family can come and watch. the Bell Centre - it's so cool we get to skate in that - i saw a hockey game, i saw Stars on Ice, i would go see Disney on Ice - getting to skate in it is really cool

places to eat near the Bell Centre - C: i'm geographically challenged, idk where things are. Anthony's usually the one that gets me places. but anyplace in MTL is good, you can't really go wrong

A: i definitely recommend the biodome - Zak Lagha took me to that - there are 4 different habitats with a bunch of animals- capybaras -

C: you have to go see the capybaras!

how's training going for Worlds? C: we tweaked what we wanted to tweak, so now ramping it up (this was around Feb. 19) just started runthroughs today

A: we started our competition season end of July, so we're looking forward to finally ending this one

#each iamo team seems to have one coach who's their point person #they've said before that madi is theirs

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touchstoneaf · 9 months

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Unreal Unearth, Is It Ineffable? (And if so, how much does it apply to the Ineffable Husbands?)

What follows is an incredibly painful lyric-journey through "Unreal Unearth" as it might apply to the Ineffable Divorce. ie, deconstructing / extrapolating some Hozier lyrics through the lens of Aziracrow; a project.

“De Selby (Part 1)"

At last, when all of the world is asleep, you take in the blackness of air. The likes of a darkness so deep that God at the start couldn’t bear… (Crowley alone sans Aziraphale, as compared to after the Fall.)

and sit unseen, with only the inner upheld. Your reflection can’t offer a word to the bliss of not knowing yourself, with all the mirroring gone from the world. (He’s literally lost his mirror.)

But still the mind, rejecting this new empty space, fills it with something or someone. (Wondering, did he fill that emptiness with Zira, and now there’s nothing left?)

No closer could I be to God… or why he would do what he’s done. (Self-explanatory, on both counts.)

(Translated from the Irish) Although you’re light / bright /free, you come to me like night, upset. Through each other, we are transformed together. The transformation is an art, it’s a dark art. (Definitely them to one another; hidden from the light, transformative.)

Verdict: somewhat Ineffable.

"De Selby (Part 2)"

What you're given, what you live in; darling, it finds a way to live in you. And your heart, love, has such darkness. I feel it in the corners of the room. If I was any closer, after the gloom… (Zira looking down from Heaven on Crowley, falling apart in the bookshop)

If could only lose me… I wanna lose me. If I fade away, I wanna fade away with you. (Zira wanting to be back with him.)

If I was any closer, I could only lose me. I could be lost. If I fade away… Let me fade away. No more than I was, or than I want to be, when you fall on me like night, every time… And I want to be so far from sight and mind. (Crowley, lost and alone in the bookshop.)

I wanna kill the lights. I wanna run against the world that's turning. I'd move so fast that I'd outpace the dawn. I want to be gone. I wanna run so far, I'd beat the morning, before the dawn has come. (Both, wanting to just run away from all of this, together.)

I'd block the sun if you want it done. Let all time slow, let all light go. I don't need to know where we begin and end. I'd still know you. (Crowley, ready to stop time, do anything to have Zira back.)

Not being shown you… I only need the working of my hands. If I was any closer… Do you understand? I could only lose me… I wanna lose me. (Zira determined to fix it all to get him back).

If I fade away (let me fade away)… I wanna fade away with you. If I was any closer, I could only lose me. I could be lost. If I fade away, let me fade away… (Crowley, alone.)

No more than I was or than I want to be when you fall on me like night. I wanna kill the lights. I wanna run against the world that's turning. I'd move so fast that I'd outpace the dawn. I wanna be gone. I wanna run so far, I'd beat the morning, before the dawn has come. (Both, wanting to be back together.)

I'd block the sun, if you want it done. If I was any closer, I could only lose me. If I fade away, let me fade away. (Crowley, mixed feelings.)

Verdict: somewhat Ineffable.

"First Time"

Remember once I told you about how before I heard it from your mouth, my name would always hit my ears as such an awful sound… And the soul, if that's what you'd call it, uneasy ally of the body… It felt nameless as a river undiscovered underground. (Crowley, as Crawly, obviously, and possibly Zira as well, hearing Crowley speak his name.)

And the first time that you kissed me, I drank dry the river Lethe. (forgetfulness of everything that went before). The Liffey would have been softer on my stomach all the same. (Earthly water—aka us—might not have been as painful)

But you spoke some quick new music, that went so far to soothe this soul. As it was, and ever shall be. (Zira, changing Crowley with every softly-uttered word, telling him he is worthy of love, Fallen or no.)

Unearth without a name; some part of me must have died the first time that you called me 'baby'. And some part of me came alive the first time that you called me 'baby'. (Crowley under new name, but also, substitute “Angel”, and this is obvious af.)

These days I think I owe my life to flowers that were left here by my mother. Ain't that like them? Gifting life to you again. This life lived mostly underground, unknowing either sight nor sound, till, reaching up for sunlight… just to be ripped out by the stem. Sensing only now it's dying, drying out, then drowning blindly; blooming forth its every colour in the moments it has left. (Zira talking about how Crowley became somehow infinitely more beautiful once Fallen… but what has he lost?)

To share the space with simple living things; infinitely suffering, but fighting off, like all creation, the absence of itself. (Crowley, raging about having Fallen, mirroring himself on the plants.)

Anyway, some part of me must have died each time that you called me 'baby'. And some part of me stayed alive each time that you called me ‘baby’. (Substitute name/Angel. Identity, together, identity on Earth, etc.)

C'mere. Whatever keeps you around, it keeps you around (both)

The last time it was heard out loud… The perfect genius of our hands and mouths were shocked to resignation, as the arguing declined. (the kiss, obvs)

When I was young I used to guess; are there limits to any emptiness? (Crowley, alone, after)

When was the last time? C'mere to me, when was the last time? (Zira, after.)

Some part of me must have died, the final time you called me 'baby'. But some part of me came alive, the final time you called me 'baby'. (learning how to be apart, how to be their better selves, so that when and if they come together again, they’ll be better at it. Painful now, but maybe a tiny bit hopeful, too?)

Verdict: way too damn Ineffable, dammit.

"Francesca"

Do you think I'd give up? That this might've shook the love from me? Or that I was on the brink? How could you think, darling, I'd scare so easily? (Zira, looking down after the kiss.)

Now that it's done, there's not one thing that I would change. My life was a storm, since I was born. How could I fear any hurricane? (Crowley, living on without him, defiant and unbowed.)

If someone asked me at the end, I'll tell them put me back in it! Darling, I would do it again! If I could hold you for a minute, darling, I'd go through it again! I would still be surprised I could find you, darling, in any life. If I could hold you for a minute, darling, I would do it again. (obvious af, for both)

For all that was said, of where we'd end up at the end of it… When the heart would cease; ours never knew peace. What good would it be on the far side of things? (looking back, both)

It was too soon, when that part of you was ripped away; a grip taking hold, like a cancer that grows. Each piece of your body that it takes. Though I know my heart would break… (both thinking they could have done it differently; would they feel like they were dying piece by piece?)

I'll tell them put me back in it. Darling, I would do it again! If I could hold you for a minute, darling, I'd go through it again! I would still be surprised I could find you, darling, in any life. If I could hold you for a minute; darling, I would do it again. (both)

I would not change it each time. Heaven is not fit to house a love like you and I. (As the fandom knows, this line TOTALLY CLINCHES IT. Heaven isn’t. They make their own!!! And so they will survive this and come back together, here. They’ll fight for it.)

Verdict: INCREDIBLY Ineffable.

"I, Carrion (Icarian)"

(There’s just, like, whole reams of meta just in the dual title, here; about being dead, falling apart, remains only… plus Falling, but from each other this time…)

If the wind turns, if I hit a squall, allow the ground to find its brutal way to me… (honestly, both; Zira from heaven, Crowley just, in general)

I feel lighter than I have in so much time. I’ve crossed the border-line of weightless. One deep breath out from the sky… I’ve reached a rarer height now that I can confirm, all our weight is just a burden offered to us by the world. (Zira ready to drop his remaining religious trauma/dogma, ready to realize that what they have is worth more than heaven can offer.)

And though I burn, how could I fall, when I am lifted up by every word you say to me? If anything could fall at all, it’s the world that falls away from me. (both)

You have me floating like a feather on the sea, while you’re as heavy as the world that you hold your hands beneath. Once I wondered what was holding up the ground, but I can see that all along, love, it was you all the way down. (Crowley, looking up toward heaven-bound Zira.)

Leave it now, I am sky-bound. If you need to, darling, lean your weight to me. (Zira en route to heaven)

We'll float away... but if we fall, I only pray, don't fall away from me. (If this doesn't work, don’t leave me)

I do not have wings, love. I never will. (I can't follow you there, it's no longer my place)

Soaring over a world you are carrying. (Fighting for the world up there)

If these heights should bring my fall, let me be your own. (If I fall at least I can be with you)

If the wind turns, if I hit a squall, allow the ground to find its brutal way to me... if I should fall on that day... (if i was wrong...)

If I should fall on that day, I only pray... don't fall away from me. (Both, yearning.)

Verdict: definitely Ineffable.

"Eat Your Young"

A protest song in the tradition of “Hunger Strike” by Temple of the Dog (RIP Chris Cornell), and “Susquehanna” by LIVE. Could be interpreted as the part of the journey where they help us here on Earth to fix the problems, etc, but…

Verdict: Not Ineffable, but still incredible.

"Damage Gets Done" (with Brandi Carlile)

Without shame, two outfits then to my name. You'd end up in one when you'd stay. We had nowhere to go and every desire for goin' there. (them here on Earth for 6000 years, hopeful and happy just to be together. The outfits line, esp. They really don’t change clothes all that much; esp Zira, lol)

I heard once, it’s the comforts that make us numb. We’d go out with no way to get home, and we’d sleep on somebody’s floor, and wake up feeling like a millionaire. (Crowley in those short four years, living as much as possible at the bookshop, trying not to think about how it could all fall apart at any moment.)

Wish I'd known it was just our turn. We just got by. Being blamed for a world we had no power in, but we tried. You and I had nothing to show. We didn’t know. (looking back now it’s all fallen apart; no control over their own happiness, the constant underlying existential fear…)

But the best of the world in the palm of our hands. Anything, darling. And darling, I haven't felt it since then. I don't know how the feeling ended; but I know being reckless and young is not how the damage gets done. (yeah, them being together and in love was NOT the problem, and they’ll do anything to get it back. Zira, esp. in this part; fighting hard up there to make it safe for them to be together, finally.)

One time, we would want for nothin. One time we had it all, love. We knew what our love was worth when we had nothing. Now we're always missing something. I miss when we did not need much. (Crowley, when all he needed was to be near Aziraphale)

If the car ran, the car was enough. If the sun shone on us, it's a plus; and the tank was always filled up. Only enough for our getting there. (obvious Bentley stuff, here! Just them together, going places, going nowhere, as long as they were together.)

That first car was like wings on an angel, before the whole wide world got too thin. I swear, goodwill kept up the engine. You were steering my heart like a wheel in your hands. (obvs Zira in the Bentley with Crowley, just happy to be together; a la 1941 date-night.)

You flew away from me then. Turn back, darling. (Crowley, obvs)

And darling, I haven't felt it since then. I don't know how the feeling ended, but I know being reckless and young is not how the damage gets done. (recommitment to coming back together.)

All I needed was someone, when the whole wide world felt young. (nostalgia for when it was oddly easier, even though things were still scary and complicated, just because at least they were together.)

Verdict: somewhat Ineffable, very deeply nostalgic.

"Who We Are"

You only feel it when it's lost. Getting through still has a cost. Quietly, it slips through your fingers, love; falling from you drop by drop. (Both, maybe more Zira?)

What I had left here… I just held it tight, so someone with your eyes might come in time, to hold me like water… Or, Christ, hold me like a knife. (Crowley, wondering even if Zira comes back would he even be the same person? Or just the archangel?)

We're born at night. So much of our lives is just carving through the dark, to get so far. And the hardest part… is who we are. It's who we are. (Both, obviously pondering if they are impossible just because of what they are.)

You and I burned out our steam, chasing someone else's dream. How can something be so much heavier, but so much less than what it seems? Darling, we sacrificed. We gave our time to something undefined. This phantom life sharpens like an image… but it sharpens like a knife. (both, thinking about how other people have been in control of them for too long, how much they had to give up to try to keep it, while not daring to define it. Now they’ve defined it, it’s cutting them to pieces.)

And the hardest part... is who we are. That's who we are. You only feel it when it's lost. Getting through still has its cost. Quietly, it slips through your fingers, love; fallin' from you drop by drop. (obvious af and incredibly hurtful)

Verdict: painfully Ineffable.

"Son of Nyx"

Instrumental, with wailing, distorted lyrics including sobbing, gut-wrenching keening, loss, melancholy, beauty, and: “See how it shines…” & “Darlin’…” & “Before our chance was gone…” (and possibly some stuff cribbed from Pink Floyd’s “The Great Gig In The Sky”)

Verdict: could be Ineffable if you want it to be.

“All Things End"

A two-tonne weight around my chest feels like it just dropped a twenty-storey height. If there was anyone to ever get through this life with their heart still intact, they didn't do it right. (both)

The last time I felt your weight on my chest, you said, "We didn't get it right but, love, we did our best." (this one really hurts, dammit)

And we will again; moving on in time and taking more from everything that ends; and all things end. All that we intend… is scrawled in sand… or slips right through our hands. And just knowing that everything will end should not change our plans, when we begin again. (painful, but also bittersweet, and hopeful?)

I have never known a silence like the one fallen here. Never watched my future darken in a single tear. (exactly)

I know we want this to go easy by being somebody's fault, but we've gone long enough to know this isn't what we want. (definitely both had some part in that last fifteen minutes!)

And that isn't always bad. When people say that something is forever… Either way, it ends; and all things end. (“Oh, Crowley, nothing lasts forever…” But, that only makes room for something new and better to grow in its place! (hopefully w/ better communication, lol))

All that we intend… is scrawled in sand, or slips right through our hands. And just knowing that everything will end should not change our plans, when we begin again. Knowing we can always start again, knowing we have another day… Should not change our plans, when we begin again. (If they want this, they have to seize it with both hands and make it work, make the next day happen!!!)

Verdict: Utterly Ineffable, why are you doing this to us, Andrew?!

"To Someone from a Warm Climate (Uiscefhuaraithe)"

A joy, hard learned in winter was the warming of the bed. You'd shake for minutes there and move your legs. Wrap the blanket over you and keep your head within. Let your breath heat the air until you'd feel it getting thin. (translation) Water-sounding… (looking back from a future spent together… when the sound of your breathing and your heartbeat echoes in your ears, and being together and warm is everything… especially looking forward from a time when everything seems cold)

The feel of coldness only water brings… There are some things that no one teaches you, love, that come natural as a dream you didn't know that you were in. (this is all very hopeful of a future spent together in the South Downs!)

And darling, all my dreaming is only put to shame. And darling, all my dreaming has only been given a name. (we can only hope)

But it came easy, darling; as natural as another leg around you in the bed frame. (and it will, once we get there!)

In summer's heat, I learned to dread the coming of the night, the awful things we do to make the head go quiet. (being without each other…)

…There are some things that no-one teaches you, love, that God in his awful wisdom first programs in. (this is all part of the ineffable plan!)

…And I wish I could say that the river of my arms have found the ocean. I wish I could say the cold lake water of my heart; Christ, it's boiling over. But it happened easy, darling; natural as another leg around you in the bed frame. (them falling apart happened way too easily, they both wish they could say it wasn’t like this right now.)

Verdict: Ineffable, cruel shit here.

“Butchered Tongue"

A song all about how Colonial England tried to destroy the Irish language and nearly succeeded.

Verdict: not Ineffable, but tragic and still capable of destroying one’s heart.

“Anything But"

Come here to me. I wish I was a mayfly on the river Tay (a mayfly only lives for one day, but it’s a beautiful day full of life)

I'd fit all my joys and my pleasures in one perfect day. I wish I was the sunlight just sitting on The Mississippi… (lasting forever, trying to fit it all into what little time they might have…)

I'd settle for a shopping trolley in The Liffey (I'd trade heaven and hell, all the faraway, for a simple life on Earth together).

In a shot I'd swap my body for a body of water. Worry the cliff side top as a wave crashing over. I'd lower the world in a flood; or better yet, I'd cause a drought. If I was a rip tide, I wouldn't take you out. (a lot of metaphor in here… the water can destroy the shore, but the shore without the water, or vice-versa, is endless and undefined… The land is dry and lifeless. And both are lonely. We need our opposites to give us meaning.)

I don't wanna be anything; but I would do anything just to run away. I don't wanna be anything like this at all… but I would do anything if you'd hear me say, “Oh, yeah, hey, go look another way.” (Crowley, wanting to be with Zira, anywhere; Alpha Centauri, please just look at me and not Heaven! Let us make our own, here!)

Look, I wanna be loud; so loud, I'm talking seismic. I wanna be soft as a single stone in a rainstick. I wanna be the thunder of a hundred thousand hooves moving quick. If I was a stampede, you wouldn't get a kick. I wanna be the shadow when my bright future's behind me. I wanna be the last thing anybody ever sees. (you could take a million things from these metaphors!)

I hear he touches your hand, and then you fly away together. If I had his job, you would live forever. (obviously, if I was your forever, that would be enough, I want us to run away together instead… I want you to be the you you were with me, not this other guy you’ve turned into…)

(Chorus again, ibid)

Verdict: mildly Ineffable.

"Abstract (Psychopomp)"

(first just let me freak tf out that someone is writing actually popular songs who can not only reference the Allegory of the Cave (Plato), but also (ALSO!) knows the meaning of the word “psychopomp” (ie the god or archetype who escorts the dead across the Styx to Hades, with all it means to be that compassionate escort amid the transition from one state to another; from living to death... and *especially* with how Hozier represents the dying of parts of oneself in order to fit into/exit relationships!!!!)

Ok:

Sometimes it returns, like rain that you slept through. (the memories we can't escape, assaulting us despite our best efforts, to torture us... like there was never a love (because these two and rainstorms))

The worst of the world; the streets looking brand new. I will not be great, but I'm grateful to get through. The feeling came late, I'm still glad I met you. The memory hurts, but does me no harm. Your hand in my pocket, to keep us both warm. (Coming to terms with what was lost)

The poor thing in the road its eye still glistening. The cold wet of your nose; the Earth from a distance. See how it shines! (the unbearable beauty of breaking up, and of looking back on what you had, and lost, and what has died.)

Sometimes there's a thought, like you choose what you're doing. But it comes to naught when I look back through it. (they tried to choose each other, but couldn’t make it stick, too much outside of them made them do something else.)

I remember the view, streetlights in the dark blue… The moment I knew I'd no choice but to love you. (1941, obviously Zira here)

The speed that you moved, the screech of the cars… The creature still moving, that slowed in your arms. The fear in its eyes, gone out in an instant. Your tear caught the light; the Earth from a distance. See how it shines! (the speed was too fast, something died, and now I’m here, lookingdown from so far away (also Zira, obvs))

Darling, there's a part of me I'm afraid will always be trapped within an abstract from a moment of my life. The weeds up through the concrete, the traffic picking up speed. All my love and terror balanced there between those eyes… See how it shines!

(The kiss, obviously, and the desperate hope that there will be more after this broken moment)

Verdict: Ineffable, painful shit, here.

"Unknown / Nth"

You know, the distance never made a difference to me. I swam a lake of fire; I’d have walked across the floor of any sea… (Crowley, obviously. None of it mattered; what they were, none of it. He just wanted to be with Aziraphale)

ignored the vastness between all that can be seen, and all that we believe. So, I thought you were like an angel to me. (this hurts so much, him questioning what they were to each other after that damn kiss!)

Funny how true colours shine in darkness and in secrecy. (they had to be themselves, the best of Us, when they lied and hid it. The contrast of that, compared to the blinding truth of saying it out loud)

If there were scarlet flags, they washed out in the mind of me. (this one REALLY HURTS)

Where a blinding light shone on you every night, and either side of my sleep… Where you were held frozen like an angel to me. (in that one moment they carved out for themselves, here…)

It ain't the being alone. It ain't the empty home, baby. You know I'm good on my own. Baby, you know… it’s more the being unknown. So much of the living, love, is the being unknown. (him lamenting, feeling like Zira never really knew or understood him. OUCH)

You called me angel for the first time; my heart leapt from me. You smile now, I can see its pieces still stuck in your teeth. And what’s left of it, I listen to it tick; every tedious beat. (Zira looking back on what he had with Crowley, and on the last fifteen minutes… and now, how everything is just meaningless, without him)

Going unknown as any angel to me. (both; Zira because he realizes he has nothing in common with the others, and Crowley thinking, was he always just one of them, to me, really? I thought he knew me)

Do you know I could break beneath the weight of the goodness, love, I still carry for you? That I’d walk so far just to take… the injury of finally knowing you. (both)

It ain't the being alone. It ain't the empty home, baby. You know I'm good on my own. Baby, you know, it’s more the being unknown. (both, lamenting the feeling that they never really understood each other the way they thought they did, and now they’re alone.)

And there are some people, love, who are better unknown. (I can’t even deal with this last line, and I refuse to accept it.)

Verdict: Ineffable, in a murderous kind of way.

"First Light"

One bright morning changes all things. Soft and easy as your breathing, you wake. Your eyes open at first a thousand miles away… but turning, shoot a silver bullet point-blank range… and I can scarce believe what I'm believing in. Could this be how every day begins? The sky set to burst; the gold and the rust. The colour erupts. You, filling my cup. The sun coming up… like I lived my whole life… before the first light. (this is them finally coming back together, and I will die on that hill)

One bright morning goes so easy. Darkness always finds you either way. It creeps into the corners as the moment fades. A voice your body jumps to, calling out your name… but after this, I'm never gonna be the same… and I am never going back again! (they will never make the same mistakes. Knowing how wrong it all was without each other, they will keep this, hold onto it at all costs)

The sky set to burst; the gold and the rust. The colour erupts. You, filling my cup. The sun coming up… like I lived my whole life… before the first light!

(hopeful crescendo… and obviously they will come back together and be happy, dammit!)

Verdict: Ineffable, and a total fucking relief, after that Incredibly Painful album!!! Thank fuck he put this one here, or i might have died over this album the way i did over that last 15 (i mean, i did, on some lines that literally punched me right in the heart and caused me actual physical discomfort)... but since he was kind and put this here, we can have hope!!!

Overall… this album is incredibly Ineffable, and Andrew Hozier-Byrne is a poet who knows how to destroy people with words. But we already knew that. Also, this thing coming out at the same time as GO2 p. much really inextricably links it forever to the Ineffable Divorce, for a lot of us... which makes it a whole other level of hitting harder!

#aziraphale x crowley #ineffable husbands #ineffable heartbreak #unreal unearth #hozier #andrew hozier byrne ruining people's lives #ineffable divorce #aziracrow

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rontra · 4 months

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persona enjoyer alert!!!! i’m so glad to hear that someone i already follow is also into it. i haven’t played p3 yet so this is my first go of it but i’m really enjoying it so far. what’s this game like from the perspective of someone who played one of the other versions?

HIIIII god i'm so excited for you...imagine getting to play p3 for the first time...<333

i'm so glad you're enjoying it thus far...!!! 🥰 it's my beloved game. WELL all of my thoughts on Reload are obviously extremely skewed due to my pure attachment to this game's story and characters, so i can't give a very "objective" comment on... anything... but i'm not finishing this replay of p5 any time soon to put it that wayDBHFJKM

basically what it's like is., its everything to me. heart

i'm nowhere near done with P3R yet obviously (i keep putting it down to rest my wrists or draw stuff hahsahbd) but so far it's been such a treat for me. i'm very happy 🥺

to ME, persona 3 is (and will probably always be) The Peak... nd the remaster is running more or less the same script (i think it's based on p3p's script??? i forgor 💀) just with, yknow, new graphics and voicework and stuff. so it's hard to really complain about it when it's more or less been "persona 3 running on the persona 5 engine" 😭

like that sure is My Game! with extra Unreal Engine Motion Blur (<- LOL)

it's hitting all the beats in the order it should what more can i ask for. the music has been remixed a bit (as always huh) but it's still recognizably homey to me. like even if i keep getting thrown off by changes like "new lotus juice verse about going to bed early" (Iwatodai Dorm) i'm still just vibing along lmao. i cheered out loud when i heard Deep Breath Deep Breath

SO FAR my "complaints" have been pure, yknow, "unreasonable superfan nitpicking", so they aren't actually worthy of being called reasonable critique. it's all shit like "they rearranged the order of shots when remaking this cutscene, and the original sequence was stronger...TO ME"

STUFF THAT NO NEW PLAYER WOULD BE THINKING ABOUT...

and of course neutered Tactics is a no-no. i'm gonna be huffy about that forever but c'est la vie, it's what the franchise has settled on... but as a Certified P3 Tactics Gamer i'm basically obligated to be a lil miffed about this Post-Tactics World we live in. and like cmon man you introduced baton pass but my AI teammates can't even see it...even though the "recommended move" scan logic CAN....!!!

^^^ but this one is ALSO at its core a complaint that new players won't have comparison context for (because the Tactics in P3R is not the Tactics we once had). and . also many newbies will never even rub up against it if they prefer Direct Command to begin with (which lots of people do) so like. who cares . it doesn't ruin the game for me i just dearly miss the Epic Highs And Lows Of P3 Tactics HAHBDS

on the upside, adding more content for party members who didn't have SLinks in the original is Very Good. i'm really very much enjoying those new scenes and it's needed badly. sweet treats for diesel...❤ AND TARTARUS LOOKS SO GOOD HOUAHHH

AND that UI...so shiny.... ough... no i lovie. i really do

like at the end of the day i admittedly could never love P4, and while i did really enjoy P5 (and P5R) it was always "but it's no P3". so asking me for my thoughts on P3R is mostly incoherent nodding and pointing bc its very much My Game reincarnated. i'm glad all my friends have an easier way to play it all gussied up and shiny now so i can finally foist my old rpg upon them... 🥰

peace and love on tatsumi port island.

#i hope you continue to enjoy it....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i LOVEEE this game it was so deeply formative for me at age like . god. 12?????? 😭 AND IT SHOWS

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kickinganddriving · 1 year

Text

Mirrorball- Christian Pulisic

Notes: this one was requested by @starry-night-reid. Im so proud of myself for this one

Song Suggestion: Mirrorball- Taylor Swift

Paring: Reader x Christian Pulisic

Word count; 1k

Warnings: Swearing (if you squint), a bit of angst, reader has un-named childhood trauma, Marriage

When no one is around, my dear

You'll find me on my tallest tiptoes

Spinning in my highest heels, love

Shining just for you

You’ve always kept your guard up for the rest of the world, but when it came to Christian, you know it’s no good. He breaks down every wall you have ever put up one by one, taking little pieces of your personality, and putting them together to reveal the person you once were. It felt like he was the only person who really cared about you, and he was one of the first people you honestly cared about.

At the moment you found yourself dancing to jazz music with the love of your life. The moment felt unreal, the soft music playing in the background, the tall man guiding your movement, the slight scratch of your heels on the hardwood floors of your apartment, and the warmth you felt with him on this cold winter night. Everything felt right.

“You know you have the most beautiful smile babe,” Christian says and he reaches you out for you to do a spin back into his arms.

“Do I?” You ask him as you spin back into him to place a soft kiss on his jawline.

“Would I lie to you?” He asks sounding offended in a joking way.

“Only if you were trying to butter me up for something” you quip back.

“What if I was?” He says as you scrunch your nose in confusion.

The next thing you know Christian is propped down on his right knee and pulling a velvet box out of his pocket. All you wanted to do was feel happy but all you felt was anxiety.

I've never been a natural

All I do is try, try, try

I'm still on that trapeze

I'm still trying everything

To keep you looking at me

Love was something you’ve never been a natural at. Sometimes it feels like you keep on trying to make sure Christian knows you love him back. It’s not that you don’t feel any love for him, it’s more that you never learned how to show love as a child, so now you have to work so hard to show any form of affection.

“So, will you do me the honor of marrying me?” Christian asks with a child-like smile on his face.

You stand there in pure silence, all you want to do is say yes. But, the anxiety is telling you to say no and cut your losses. But in your heart, you don’t want to lose him. All of the conflicting emotions are collected into the expression on your face. At that moment Christian knew that there was something you both need to talk about. He slowly stands up, as your exact posture and expression stay the same. He puts the ring back in his pocket and pulls you into a comforting hug. To this, your body knew how to respond.

You both stood in the center of your living room, holding each other in a hug for a solid minute. Before Christian pulls away and guides you to the couch where the both of you sit side by side with your bodies angled towards the other.

“What's wrong, was it something that I said, was I moving too fast?” Christian asks in pure concern for your relationship.

The guilt started to set in, you realized that this was bigger than you and your emotions, this had a whole other person that you cared so deeply about involved.

“It’s not you, it’s me.” You managed to say in the midst of everything you were feeling.

“Are you breaking up with me?” Christian says now worried.

“No, I would never! I’m just worried that I’m not giving you all that you need, and in the future, you get bored, or realize that you don’t love me! I love you as much as I can physically love someone, but what if that's not enough for you? I don’t want to tie you down to me, I don’t want the love you get to come from damaged goods” You exclaim with a worried tone.

Christian sits there in silence as you both look at each other, peering into the other's soul for a minute. The apartment is completely silent, not even Chris’s dogs are making any noise. That was until you heard Christian's voice speak in a soft tone.

“The love that you give me is more than enough for me, and you are not damaged goods, you are beautiful, kind, funny, and any or all positive adjectives in the English dictionary. The way you love is special, it feels like it’s only made for me to understand. No one has ever loved me the way that you do and I don’t want anyone to.”

“Really?” You ask wanting to make sure this isn’t a sick, twisted, joke that he’s playing on you.

“yes.” He responds with a soft smile on his face. It hits him then that you were always the one for him. No matter how far he has to travel for work, how sad he is after a loss, or how happy he is about winning a game, he always thought about you and what you were doing. Your attitude, mannerisms, and everything about you seemed like the most perfect thing to him. And it's almost like you read his exact thoughts when you said...

“Ok, I will marry you”

With no words, Christian slips the ring on your finger with nothing but a smile on his face.

“I love you my shining mirrorball” Christian softly whispers in your ear.

“I love you to my disco dancer”

I'm a mirrorball

I'll show you every version of yourself

Tonight

-hands down the most emotional thing that i’ve ever written I hope you all love it!

#christian pulisic x reader #christian pulisic fluff #taylor swift #mirrorball

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