#i like the italian version of this better honestly but I need you to understand the lyrics. so | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

flourgirl · 3 years

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When The Party’s Over

Part II to “Even If It’s a Lie”

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader, Peter Parker x Gwen Stacy, Harry Osborn x Reader

Summary: The closer that Peter gets to Gwen, the more he realizes how irreplaceable you are to him.

Word Count: 2.6k

Warnings: A few curse words here and there.

A/N: There’s going to be a third and final part to this story, so if you’d like to be tagged in it, please shoot me an ask or a reply and I’ll gladly add you to the tag list. Hope you guys enjoy this new part and happy reading :-)

“Counted all my mistakes and there's only one Standing out from the list of the things I've done All the rest of my crimes don't come close To the look on your face when I let you go” -Where Do Broken Hearts Go, One Direction

It had been 17 days since you had last seen Peter and all you could do was sit in your favorite coffee shop and stare at all the muffins in the case. Peter loved muffins. His favorite flavor was banana nut, and usually the two of you would jam out to all of your favorite songs while you waited for them to come out of the oven.

“Y/N,” Betty said, snapping you out of your daze, “Are you alright? You’ve been staring at the pastries for, like, five minutes.”

MJ put down whatever book she had decided to read this week. “Yeah, if you want one, go for it. You deserve it. Here, I’ll pay.”

She reached into her pocket and pulled out a wadded up $10 bill, dropping it onto the table in front of you, and returned to her book.

“You could get a slice of cheesecake,” Betty suggested. “I know how much you like the raspberry one from here.”

But all you could think about was how you wished Peter loved you the way that he loved those stupid banana nut muffins.

“I’m not hungry,” you muttered, crossing your arms and closing your eyes to take in the soft jazz music that was playing alongside the chatter of the café. “But I’m keeping the ten bucks.”

“Maybe it would help take your mind off of things if you met someone new,” MJ suggested without even looking up at you. It was honestly amazing how she could carry on a conversation while still being so engrossed in her book.

“Yeah, Y/N,” Betty agreed, “You’re so smart, and pretty, and you made all of the baked goods currently taking up lots of precious space in our kitchen.”

“You’re a stress baker,” MJ added. She was right. Over the past two and a half weeks since that night, you had baked three cakes, four pies, and seven different kinds of bread. Maybe tonight wasn’t the night you tried out the new focaccia recipe you had been eyeing.

“I don’t know, guys,” you said, slinking further down into your chair. “I just don’t think I’m ready for that sort of thing.”

“That’s okay,” Betty reassured you. “Take all the time you need. But we’re here for you, Y/N.”

And that’s how the rest of that day went. Lots of suggestions on ways to stop thinking about Peter and you shooting them down. No matter how Betty and MJ tried to make you feel better, your mind was stuck on the nine voicemails and thirty-two texts he had sent you saying how he was sorry for whatever he did and how he just wanted things to be normal again.

Except you didn’t want normal. You wanted him. You wanted his bad puns and the way his sweaters smelled when he let you borrow one. And the worst part was, he didn’t even know what he did wrong. He didn’t know that he had broken your heart.

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It wasn’t like Peter didn’t like Gwen. She was outgoing and confident, and he liked how it felt like she was always the center of attention. People wanted to talk to her, or sit next to her, or even have her know that they existed.

But she wasn’t anything like you, and the more time that Peter spent with her, the more apparent that became. She didn’t rant about reality TV or get so overwhelmed during public speaking assignments that the only way she could calm down was with a hug from him. In many ways, she was perfect. Except for the fact that she wasn’t you.

“We’re still on for Flash’s party on Saturday, right?” Gwen asked as she walked with Peter out of the lecture hall where they learned about vascular mechanics.

Honestly, Peter hadn’t even remembered that she had asked him to go to that until she brought it up just now. He was too stressed out wondering whether or not you’d ever speak to him again.

But what did he do to make you upset? He had promised that if you wanted to leave the party, you could tell him and the two of you would go. Except you never said anything. You just got up and left, without even saying goodbye. You hated him and it killed him to not know why.

Despite this, he wanted to be the good guy and not disappoint any more people, and so he took Gwen’s hand in his and said, “Yeah, definitely. I’ll be there.”

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If someone had told you that you’d run into Harry Osborn in the middle of Arthur Avenue, you’d say they were crazy. And if that same someone said that you’d ask him on a date, they’d be even crazier. But somehow, some way, that’s exactly what happened.

You were on the way to interview a third-generation restaurant owner for your Italian class. You had never been very good at foreign languages, but you would use any excuse to take a trip to Little Italy. The nervous knots in your stomach from the possibility that they would only speak in a dialect that you couldn’t understand was worth it, because this little nook of the city was home to the best arancini in all of America.

To be honest, it seemed unbelievable that he’d be there, at that exact time, in that exact place to where you’d run right into him. You had been too busy reviewing the notes you had taken during the interview to see that you were on a direct path towards face planting into his torso.

“Fuck,” you grumbled, staring down at your notes scattered on the sidewalk at your feet. The guy you had just ran into kneeled down to gather them into a neat stack, handing them back to you.

“Y/N?” he asked, which caught you off guard. Who the hell was this? It wasn’t until you stared at his face for a few seconds that you recognized him. That guy that Gwen was with at the party. He looked a lot different in his button down and khakis compared to the sweatshirt and baseball cap he had on when you had first met him.

“Uh, hi. You’re Gwen’s friend, right? Henry.” You knew his name. You just didn’t plan on letting that you knew it.

“Yeah, but it’s Harry. Sorry about that, by the way. So, anyway, what brings you all the way down to Little Italy? It’s pretty far from campus,” he told you, as if you didn’t know that. I mean, you had walked all the way here, hadn’t you?

You shrugged, looking away from him. “I guess I could ask you the same thing.”

It was the first time in a while that someone wasn’t fawning over him just because he was rich. Honestly, it was really refreshing. “I asked first,” he noted, mimicking your crossed arms with a smirk.

Who does this guy think he is?

“Listen,” you sighed. “I really don’t have time for this. I need to get back to my apartment and finish up writing this essay that’s due at midnight.”

“So you’re taking Italian, I presume?” he asked, it suddenly becoming quite clear as to what you were doing on the other side of the city.

“Yeah. And let me guess, you were eating brunch at some fancy, expensive restaurant that your dad owns, drinking some $100 bottle of wine while some nerd you pay does your homework, huh?”

“No,” he laughed. “I was helping put together Thanksgiving dinner baskets for underprivileged families down at the soup kitchen.”

It was only then that you noticed how annoyingly handsome he was. Essentially, he was the male version of Gwen. Same blonde hair and preppy style that just screamed “I have a trust fund.”

“Of course. What, did you need a good photo op ever since the Daily Bugle ran that issue where they called you a spoiled playboy who loves to party?”

You had no intentions of entertaining him, especially since he was a friend of Gwen’s. The girl that had kissed Peter right in front of you, and pretended like she couldn’t remember your name. The girl that Peter was probably with right now.

“I’m not going to pretend like that wasn’t part of it, but believe it or not, I’m not actually as big of a selfish asshole as the papers make me out to be.”

You rolled your eyes. “Sure, I can tell by the cashmere sweater vest and leather loafers that you’re wearing that you’re so down to earth.”

There was an awkward silence, and Harry decided to change the subject before he pissed you off even more. But what he chose to mention next was the one thing on the planet that you didn’t want to talk about.

“So, uh, I guess your friend Peter is with Gwen now,” he started, which had somehow managed to make you dislike him even more than you already did. Sure, there was no way for him to know how you felt about the whole situation, but it still pained you to think about how you had become an afterthought to who you thought was the guy who would always have your back.

You blinked back at him, frowning. “Yeah, I guess so,” you muttered. And then there was another awkward silence.

“Well, I’ll let you go now. It’s obvious I’m taking up some very precious time in your day,” he said, offering a weak smile. “Maybe we’ll see each other around campus.”

It suddenly dawned on you that you might have been just a little too hard on him. He seemed nice enough, even if you weren’t a big fan of the company he kept. Before you could even really think about it, you called out, “Wait!” and walked over to meet him when he had turned around.

“I’m sorry,” you admitted, nervously toying with the hem of your sweater. “I’m just in a really bad mood.”

“It’s fine,” he reassured you, although he wasn’t quite as confident as when the two of you had started your conversation. “We all have bad days. I hope yours gets better.”

“It could, if you’d let me buy you a coffee,” you said, genuinely smiling for the first time in a while. Sure, it was nice to think that Peter would probably be upset once he heard that you had asked someone out and he knew nothing about it, but a small part of you was asking just because Harry Osborn seemed like the kind of guy you’d like to have around.

“Sure,” he answered back, running a hand through his hair, which seemed to be in a perpetually perfect messy-but-not-too-messy state. “Have you ever been to Hungry Ghost in Brooklyn?”

Your eyes lit up. “That’s actually my favorite café! They have this really awesome grand piano in the middle of the room, and every Friday they have an open mic where anybody can sign up to play it.”

Your enthusiasm honestly surprised you. It was nice to have something to talk about that didn’t somehow involve Peter.

“Actually, I’m signed up to play tomorrow night,” Harry told you, “Do you like jazz?”

It almost seemed too good to be true. You loved jazz. “Definitely,” you confirmed, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

“Alright, cool. Let’s make a deal. I’ll let you buy me a coffee if you come watch me play tomorrow night.”

“Deal,” you agreed, before turning back towards your apartment, all giddy with excitement to tell MJ and Betty about what had just happened.

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“You probably didn’t know this, but Y/N’s been hanging out with Harry Osborn,” Ned said, walking into the common room wearing his “special” Hawaiian shirt, which Peter knew meant he was going someplace fancy. “They’re kind of dating.”

Peter looked up immediately from his linear algebra homework. He had an uneasy feeling in his stomach about what Ned had just revealed, but he didn’t know why. He was with Gwen, and if you wanted to date Harry Osborn, then you could. But still, he found himself being just a little bit jealous that some other guy was filling in for him.

“Oh,” Peter said, looking back down at his homework. He couldn’t focus anymore, so he just shut the notebook and threw it from where he was sitting on the top bunk onto his desk. “How long has that been going on?”

“Two days now, but they’ve been spending every minute together since. Betty said that they bumped into each other on the street and she just asked him on a date out of nowhere,” he replied, tying his shoes to go meet his girlfriend for date night. “I just thought I’d let you know, in case you saw them when you were out and got mad at me for keeping it from you.”

“Thanks, dude,” Peter sighed, lying on his back, “You’re a good friend.”

“I know. Anytime, man. Now I gotta go. M’lady awaits,” he said. Peter didn’t even have to look to know that his roommate had just tipped his imaginary fedora.

Harry Osborn wasn’t even your type, Peter thought. You didn’t like guys as “pretty” as him, and you had always been more into brown eyes, not blue. So what was the appeal? His trust fund? Peter knew that you weren’t that shallow. It was just that, well, he couldn’t imagine you falling for someone like that.

You’re with Gwen, Peter kept reminding himself. So many guys would kill to be in your place. It wasn’t until he checked the time that he realized that he was actually about 20 minutes late to meeting her for the party. The stupid party at Flash Thompson’s tacky apartment that he didn’t even want to go to in the first place.

It was an understatement to say that Gwen was pissed when Peter knocked on her front door over half an hour late to the time they had agreed upon.

“What took you so long? I’ve been waiting,” she complained, smoothing out her sparkly silver dress that caught the light just right when she moved.

“I’m sorry,” Peter sighed, grabbing her hand as they walked down the street. “Uh, I guess I just lost track of time.”

“Whatever,” Gwen said, “Just don’t let it happen again.”

When they finally arrived at the party, the bowls of potato chips and mini pretzels were nearly empty. The floor was sticky, and Old Town Road boomed from the speakers in the living room.

“I’m gonna go get a drink,” Peter told Gwen, leaving her to greet all of her friends that had been waiting for her to show up.

As Peter wandered towards the keg, he couldn’t stop thinking about you and Harry, and all the things that he didn’t know about your newfound relationship with some guy you had just met. He still didn’t know why he was so upset about it. He should be happy you had found someone you liked. In high school, all you ever talked about was finding the perfect guy, and if that was Harry Osborn, who was Peter to make a fuss about it?

But that didn’t stop Peter from filling up his plastic cup more times than he should’ve that night. It wasn’t until he was being dragged back to his dorm room by Gwen after puking on Flash’s couch that he realized what was wrong. He wanted to be that guy. The one who got to hold your hand and cuddle with you during scary movies. The one that got to love you and be loved by you.

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Taglist: @hommyy-tommy @itsgonnabeohtay @alltimekyn

P.S.: Sorry to all the people I forgot to tag on this one! I didn’t know that when you answer asks privately, they go away from your inbox. Please shoot me another ask or reply to this post so I don’t miss you again!

#peter parker x reader #peter parker x gwen stacy #harry osborn x reader #peter parker fluff #peter parker angst #peter parker imagine #peter parker oneshot #peter parker fanfiction #spiderman #mcu

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fromthefishbowl · 3 years

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Who are the blogs that are suspiciously silent on the recent scandal ? I would like to avoid them but I don’t really know who they are.

I honestly had to sit on this one for a moment, because I couldn't decide if it was bait or not, but... oh, well, it's not like I haven't received death threats in this fandom before, and with their Empress of Bullshit gone and not fueling and excusing their need to bully people by rambling about random shit what are the gonna do? Harass me? Ah!

Honestly, if you haven't noticed any changes in your dashboard, I feel like you don't have to worry one bit, but... the bloggers shrouded in silence are now (Imma be petty, because these people are ridiculous and think that writing fics makes the world a better place and actually fights racism while they have no problems siding with literal antisemites, people who believe in blood libel, and actual racism):

a certain artist who uses only Kermit icons and who, a couple of months ago, decided to trample over actual Italians and would write posts about Nicky's psyche because her being from Finland means she totes understands Italian culture and traditions and people - and yes, if you disagree with her you're racist and awful and how dare you! Don't you know Len told her she's right when talking about Italians as dirty, stupid, ignorant racists????;

a certain fruit without pit who nuked their blog twice to come back within a week and who has no problems befriending and defending antisemites and seeing them as their point of reference. When asked why they had quoted certain "passages" from Len and Lazaefair's Bibles, they didn't know what to answer nor were able to tell what those passages meant, and rather than coming to the realization that those people were using them as a way to promote their nonsensical bullshit, they got mad at the person asking;

a fleshy stalk from the family of the Polygonaceae, alternatively known as a very intoxicated metalworker;

a Persian woman who pretended that the writings of a Jewish American poet were ancient Persian sayings - girl, why? -. She is also behind the crumbling of two fandom servers in less than three months because she let racism run rampant and refused to take action against it;

the light that comes after the fifth but before the seventh;

a blogger who desperately tries to be the discourse version of Wicked Pact and named themselves after Andy;

and the best for least: our queen Lazaefair, of whom I can't give a shit saying the name of because she's created not one but two lists she put me and my fandom friends on! Apparently, for her I am a public enemy and need to be blacklisted because of all of my evil racism - racism she was never able to prove, because she creates lists and lists and lists but it's not like she actually reads the material, before incriminating it. And I know that you stalk my blog, dear Lazaefair, because I know that you talked about me in All & More and quoted me directly - so brave, uh? Never talked to me directly, but you and your little friends do wonders with vagueblogging - when you created that first list, and immediately blocked me when I brought up your antisemitism :) Maybe you should change your blog's URL to Silla or something of the sort, considering how much you like making lists about "dangerous material" and shit. In fact... I still have to understand why you, an Asian American who was raised Evangelical - and it shows, girl, it really does. The way you like to manipulate people using the same tactics as Evangelical pastors really shows - are supposedly in charge of this fandom. What do you know about the Mediterranean and the racial and cultural dynamics there, uh? But I guess we should ask Len the same question, considering that she grew up in the non-Mediterranean part of France and had to create a whole backstory because she knew her little theory was shit and no one would’ve listened to her if she didn’t pretend to be a minority. But I guess everything can be excused, if at the end of the day Joe takes it up the ass - even without the character development that makes fics not racist anymore, in your opinion -. Something something colonialism, something something history you “””learned””” from Wikipedia, right?

#fishie answers #anon #fuck you lazaefair :)#you and your racist antisemitic friends who tried to defend that other piece of antisemitic racist shit

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firefliesintheskyline · 4 years

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So. I decided to do something extremely weird. Which is : listen to the van scene in every language available on Netflix US. Be aware, it’s more like an experiment, and my commentary on it is supported by absolutely nothing except my own ears. So don’t expect anything accurate, just what my own gut’s gonna tell me!!

(Full disclaimer : Italian and French are my main languages, I know English well, I understand Spanish... and I know absolutely nothing about German. Lol. The last one is gonna be extremely fun.)

Ready? Let’s start!

FRENCH : The part in Italian is... off. Out of curiosity, I checked the Malta scene, and I have to say... The pronunciation is bad-ish, and makes me feel like Nicolò has never set foot in Italy in his entire existence. Maybe it would have been better not to dub Nicolò’s lines?

Oh, here’s an interesting choice! They use the word “p’tit copain” as a translation for “boyfriend”, which I feel makes the entire thing even worse (so in a sense better for the purposes of the scene/movie), ‘cause that’s a word you normally use to talk about a high school sweetheart, and certainly not a grown ass man. As far as mockery goes, I think we reached next level fuckin’ homofobes

The declaration per se is well-translated, but Marc Saez (the french dubbing actor) sounds... a bit too angry. I feel like he “overcharges” some words with bitterness that was not quite necessary. Nicky’s answer is adorably dubbed!

Overall, I would give it a 6 1⁄2

NEXT!!!

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ITALIAN : I honestly CANNOT BELIEVE they switched the word “Destati” with the modern version “Svegliati”. Did you consider that maybe - JUST MAYBE - there was a reason behind the idea of usiNG THE ARCHAIC VERSION OF THE WORD???

Booker’s betrayal is nothing, NOTHING compared to this

Well, what can I say? I was kinda expecting for it to be a little overdramatic. I mean, it’s frankly obvious that Simone Crisari is only trying to convey the passion in his one-minute speech, but I feel like he ends up putting too much emphasis on his lines, going for the grandiose effect rather then just let the words do the job for him.

But how am I gonna blame someone for being too passionate especially since my Italian ass is known among my non-Italian friends as the dramatic one ?

I think I can go with a strong 7

NEEEEEXT!!!

GERMAN : once again, I really don’t know german, so this one is going to be completely sounds-related, with the help of subtitles (but I did make sure to listen to a few other scenes to make myself familiar with the dubbing actors voices)

The Italian part is nice, but that’s also easier when one out of the two dubbing actors is Italian vi piace vincere facile tedeschi eh

Just as the French dub, I feel like there’s too much anger lingering in the lines. Asad Schwarz reeeally goes for it, and at some weird point it almost feels like the soldier becomes his entire focus, which... nope. It should always be Nicky? But it doesn’t last enough for it to be really noticeable unless you are breaking down every single instant of the scene like me

I don’t know if the translation is well done, so I’m just gonna trust my german peeps and give it an 8

LAAAAAAAAAST!!!!!!

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SPANISH : OH WHAT A BOLD, BOLD CHOICE. My Spanish people really said “nope, we are not gonna risk it, let’s just leave Marwan’s and Luca’s voices for the italian bits” which is even more hilarious if you think how close these languages are, they probably had the easiest job. They also don’t do it for the other scenes! Which! Confuses me even more!!

I would have absolutely 0 problems with it if it wasn’t for the fact that Marwan’s voice and his spanish voice actor’s dub (I can’t find his name anywhere, I would really appreciate the info if someone knows it!) have literally NOTHING to do with one another, so the effect is a little weird when they switch from a language to the other.

That said. Oh. My God. This is just... amazing. This is by far the CLOSEST someone’s got to Marwan’s intention in delivering the speech. There’s just enough anger, just enough passion, but most importantly, the lines are delivered with the confidence of someone who knows these men are absolutely insignificant. Every word is an assertion, no need to overdo it I’m almost crying and I feel like Nicky’s voice actor dub was about to cry as well

You, my good friend, deserve a 9 1⁄2

OKAY I’M FINALLY WRAPPING THIS THING UP but before I go let me just say that dubbing is a difficult job because you only have the use of your voice to convey an intention, and I respect every single human being that does this amazing job, so take this post just as it is the dumb thoughts of a chick with too much time in her hands and not anything serious!

Aaaaand.....scene

#the old guard #tog #nicolo di genova #yusuf al kaysani #joe x nicky #nicky x joe #yusuf x nicolo #nicolo x yusuf #immortal husbands #kaysanova #van scene #random thoughts

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opalsiren · 3 years

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not to winx club dub discourse in 2021 but i decided to watch the ep where we meet musa's dad in the rai dub instead for a change and... whew do i have some thoughts

first off, i understand that the rai dub is closest to the original italian version and is considered more ‘authentic’ and therefore better. doesn’t change the fact that, at least based on this one episode alone, the 4kids dub is superior. please don’t take this too seriously lol

so i'd never watched the rai dub before but in this version musa's dad writes a song for musa's mom which she... doesn't like, they go broke trying to get famous and can't pay their medical bills, resulting in the death of musa’s mom. whereas in the 4kids dub her mom instantly falls in love with her dad's song, she gives up her classical training and he gives up his royal status to be with her, they're pretty successful and take time off to have musa, then musa's mom passes

like... there's a message in the 4kids dub, that you can go against tradition to do what you love and be with the person you love. which directly parallels musa's relationship with riven since he's somewhat of a social outcast but she loves him and wants to be with him anyway. what is the message of the rai dub? don't follow your dreams or you'll die broke? make it make sense!

i think that the message that musa needs to keep making music, even if it is painful for her dad who is having a hard time getting over his partner’s death, is just more coherent. it centers the conflict around musa’s family and the importance of keeping her mother’s memory alive, rather than ‘you will go broke and die if you pursue your passion also i don’t like riven for arbitrary reasons’

as for musa’s dad not vibing with riven... what was the point of that? we are told that they have met offscreen, so musa’s father’s reasons for disliking him seem silly and contrived. how are we supposed to be invested when we don’t see this meeting firsthand? further to that, there is a very subtle implication in the 4kids dub that riven and musa’s relationship parallels her parents’ enduring love, in that they rebelled against society together. this implication is compounded by the fact that the concert at red fountain takes place a few episodes after the whole jared fiasco where all of musa’s friends are essentially telling her to dump riven and date jared instead

also, musa’s parents both had to change for one another and make sacrifices to be together. later on in the series, musa earns her charmix by finally telling riven outright that she likes him, showing enormous growth from the early season one musa who always tried to ‘play it cool.’ later, riven makes the ultimate sacrifice for musa by taking a death blow from darkar intended for her. the parallels are subtle, sure, but it almost seems like the rai dub is trying to tell us that all the change and growth musa’s parents went through together was in vain? again, there is a lack of clarity around what the actual message of this episode is

at least based on this one episode, the rai dub suffers from a very telling structuring issue. don’t get me wrong, the 4kids dub has its problems, but the narration employed in the rai dub meant that we were told rather than shown the evens of the episode. also the dialogue is just... stilted, and weird, and off in so many places. i understand that the 4kids voice acting is critiqued as goofy and silly, but the rai dub voices are boring and lacklustre to the point where i could barely distinguish one character from the next. there is so little variation even in accent, tone, or the use of slang or verbiage. yes, british!tecna, musa’s use of early 2000s slang, and stella’s over-reliance on phrases such as ‘fabulous’ and ‘dawling’ are a little gauche, but these quirks breathe life into the voice acting and show the passion behind the project as a whole

one thing i did like about the rai dub is that the red fountain gig is supposed to be musa’s ‘musical debut’ which does add to the stakes. when you watch the 4kids’ answer to this episode it’s very easy to be like ‘she could just... not perform at this one concert, and then keep her music from her dad till graduation.’ that said, at least in the 4kids dub, she had spent the summer before season two touring with some music group and also performed at the back to school dance in season one. is there something about a musical debut i’m not understanding?

that all being said, all of this is based on one (1) episode. i know that the 4kids dub changed a ton from the original canon, including re-writing more ‘mature’ plot points, in an attempt to make the show more suitable for younger, american audiences. i can totally understand why people who are familiar with the og dub can’t stand the 4kids iteration. i think must of us tend to gravitate towards the dub we grew up with. i also am going to try sit down and watch the rai dub up to season three, whenever i finish my season three 4kids rewatch

again, if you can’t stand the 4kids dub, please don’t take these presumptions criticisms based on my viewing of one episode too seriously. honestly? i am starting to consider 4kids as an entirely separate iteration of winx canon entirely. for me the winx canon ends at season three, since that’s when the 4kids license expired, and an entirely new canon had been established by the 4kids writers. none of these writers were the same writers as that of the rai dub, so why should we consider it within the same canon?

#.txt #winx club #4kids #rai #rainbow #rai dub #4kids dub #anyway this became a fucking dissertation very quickly. and also a treatise on why you should ship riven with musa lol. but i can't talk #about winx club without talking about them apparently #i know that these points have probably been made thousands of times before and i regret to dredge up the dubbing wars again but i seriously #didn't think the rai rub was going to be... like that.#again please don't take this too seriously!!#although. if you are rai dub supremacist. i would strongly recommend sitting down and watching the 4kids dub from start to finish

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hanbintms · 3 years

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it is eye , kofi , back on your dash with my newest child ! as a reminder : i’m twenty4 , prefer she / her or they / them pronouns , and i reside in the est timezone ! the muse that i have flowing for hanbin is truly unmatched even though i literally came up with him within like . . . three hours , no kidding . that being said , he’s a brand new muse and i can’t wait to plot with everyone once again ( or for the first time ! ) i won’t talk your ears off as i know this intro might get a little long , but aside from that , can’t wait to write hanbin with ya’ll !

( SONG KANG , THIRTY , CIS MAN , HE / HIM ) * hey , i’m looking for the office of HANBIN KOO . they’re the EMPLOYEE / IN - HOUSE CHEF who’s known around the office as THE EPICURE , if that helps ? not to be a gossip , but i’ve heard that they’re AFFABLE but UNCOUTH , is that true ? i also heard that they’re the one who THREW ICED TEA AT HIS EX IN THE LOBBY . anyways , here’s the coffee they ordered .

statistics.

name : koo hanbin . nicknames : han , hannie , hanbinie , + binnie . age + date of birth : thirty + january 9th, 1991 . zodiac : capricorn . moral alignment : true neutral . gender + pronouns : cis man + he / him / his . place of birth : busan , south korea . place of residence : west village , new york city , new york . orientation : bisexual biromantic . occupation : in house chef and internet personality . nationality : korean ( holds american citizenship ) . ethnicity : korean . language(s) spoken : korean , english , conversational italian , and conversational japanese .

background.

koo hanbin’s life was relatively normal when he was born . his mom , koo seonghwa , worked as a nurse in the pediatric department of a local hospital in busan while his father , koo kyuchul , was an office worker . they weren’t the richest family , nowhere near it , but the koo family made it work . hanbin has more memories of being with his grandparents more often than his parents simply because of their demanding careers , but that’s not to say that they weren’t loving and attentive parents when they had time to be with their only son .

however , life began to change for him when was six years old . suddenly , the money began to dwindle as quickly as it was brought in . the refrigerator wasn’t full unless seonghwa’s mother would make some things for them , and kyuchul was coming home later and later . seonghwa began to work harder in an attempt to break even , but she never seemed to get her head above water . she’d confront her husband about the large sums of money that would disappear from their account , but he always blamed it on higher bills , raised rent , or sudden payments that he had to make . it never made any sense , but seonghwa started a separate account to ensure their son could at least have food on the table and clothes for school .

the next couple of years go by and the money situation worsens , with seonghwa getting to her wits end . she spends more time with hanbin at her parents’ place , sleeping with her son in her old bedroom and hoping he doesn’t hear her cry at night . she struggles to understand why her husband is keeping secrets from her , especially as they’ve been married happily for the last eleven years , but it takes some tough love from her mother to get seonghwa to pick herself up . so , she decides to confront her husband one night when she finds out his location from one of his co - workers , and she’s devastated . seonghwa finds kyuchul with a younger woman , gambling away her hard earned money . like a scene out of a drama , seonghwa kicks her husband where the sun doesn’t shine and promptly dragged the other woman outside to wack her upside the head with her purse . seonghwa was hurt , but she had finally gotten answers , and she wasn’t going to be embarrassed like this ever again .

so , seonghwa and hanbin permanently move in with her parents , and it takes some time for seonghwa to get over kyuchul . she focuses on her child and her job . from the age of ten , hanbin began spending more time with his grandparents in their small , but popular barbecue meat restaurant . when he finishes his homework , he helps his grandparents take orders , and he slowly begins to work the kitchen as he gets older . his grandparents soon leave the kitchen work to him as they get up in age , and hanbin runs the kitchen as if he’d been doing it for over twenty years . however , when he graduates from high school , hanbin decides to spread his wings . over the last twelve years or so , hanbin honed his cooking skills from his grandfather and spent most of his childhood in the kitchen , so his grandparents passed their restaurant down to seonghwa’s brother , and hanbin left for new york .

eighteen years old and with only enough money to get a small sublet , he knew he needed to find a job pronto . without formal kitchen training , hanbin would often get turned away from jobs ( because he was better than a busboy ! ) and eventually , the fates was on his side . he forced his way into the kitchen of a popular italian restaurant , immediately snagging the title of junior chef . hanbin , a fast learner with even faster knife skills , easily works his way up the ranks within the restaurant . within six years , hanbin becomes head chef and is a force to be reckoned with in the kitchen . although his income changes significantly , hanbin starts a youtube channel in hopes of sharing his love for food and cooking . within a year , his following grows substantially , and he’s approached to broaden his efforts by working at masters international .

at masters.

hanbin has been at masters for five years . he started working here after his youtube channel expanded , and he was approached to create his own cooking content for masters’ youtube channel .

basically , he has his own version of test kitchen , but it’s not really the same thing . he makes recipes for holidays , celebrations , and is constantly showing how to make traditional korean dishes ( would not be surprised if he has a ‘ cooking with my mom ! ’ type series ) .

gives food tips too like which wines pair best with certain foods or how to make the most out of your first hosting gig . probably has a video where he shares his cooking playlist because he wants you to get in the mood 😌 .

probably came up with the special lunch for Daddy Masters™ but gets ticked when he’s asked to cook it because does that man know a schedule ? probably not . [ ‘ we were on a break ! ’ specifically , hanbin2 was on his lunch break . ]

is it true that he threw an iced tea in his ex’s face ? absolutely , and he has no problem admitting it lmao . who was said ex ? i guess we’ll never know [ this a number one champion sound ] .

probably well received around the office but i wouldn’t be surprised if people disliked him . it could be his off putting persona or honestly the simple fact that he’s got a lot of sass and no ass .

headcanons.

you can read a full list of headcanons HERE ; below is an abridged version .

has a gyeongsang dialect from living in busan , and honestly . . . that’s hot . so , when he speaks in korean it’s rather strong and aggressive / pitch is vastly different from other parts of korea .

i literally have no idea how to explain his personality other than by using his moral alignment : true neutral . he’s kinda that guy who knows everything but won’t tell you that he does ? did he eavesdrop ? maybe , but he won’t tell you that . he’s largely indifferent to a lot of what happens around masters and maybe it’s because he’s been here for half a decade ; he’ll just make sure you drink water if you’re drunk and crying .

a Dog Father™ to a little re: big goldendoodle named duri . he is most definitely judging you and can often be found sunbathing in that solarium .

a very simple man when it comes to his coffee : caffè americano or an espresso macchiato please . and don’t forget the butter croissant !

mostly expressionless . . . like i really have no idea how to explain how he looks at people because i feel that stoic is too harsh of a word . if you wanna know how he feels though , he has extremely expressive eyes .

he won’t admit it but he loves hosting . office potluck ? he’s your guy . having a conference ? he’ll make your snacks . if you’re coming over he’ll make a charcuterie board and will lie saying he made it with some stuff he had on hand ( but that’s a lie , he went to the grocery store and obsessed over it for a solid three hours ) .

finds joy in the mundane . some people might think he’s weird because he loves grocery shopping , and heavily judges people’s carts because processed food ? yuck ! he won’t say that to your face though he’ll just be like ‘ are you sure you wanna buy that ? ’ and will sneakily replace your frozen pizza with pizza ingredients hehe .

that being said don’t take him grocery shopping with you NFUDNSFDS . he gets ticked about food waste , and those who don’t use reusable bags . probably has a lil garden at his place and composts ! is angry about people calling a chunk of cauliflower a steak ( in other words , don’t to it ) !

wanted connections.

DISCLAIMER : i will not be plotting anything romantic with characters under the age of twenty - five due to his age !

ONE TRUE LOVE : this is open to literally anyone , preferably like , 28 to 30 but we can talk details . truly , they’re his one true love as the title states , and i like to believe that they were a really happy couple who had a meet - cute . they moved in together and things were great , but they broke up when they felt a mutual dissolve in their relationship . that being said , they’re good friends now !

BEST FRIEND : who wouldn’t love a best friend . basically , they get along well , and they are used to sung’s non - verbal communication NVJCNXJV . it’d be really fun if they had totally different personalities but somehow they managed to click . TAKEN BY GRIFFIN OLSON .

TASTE TESTER : someone who he calls on to often try his food at the office . they possibly will appear in his videos on masters’ youtube channel , so i think a relationship based around food would be really fun ! TAKEN BY KENNEDY CRAWFORD / SORAYA HATHAWAY .

HORN DOGS ( DEROGATORY ) : i have no other name for this plot but i’m thinking two people who cannot keep their hands off of one another . i’m talking sneaky touches in the elevator , secret hook ups in the seventh floor bathroom , quick makeouts and nearly getting caught . bonus points if people around the office don’t believe they’re Banging™ because their personalities are so different .

CRUSH : also known as , someone having a crush on him , but he sees them as a friend ( or even worse , like a younger sibling ) . TAKEN BY AYLIN SAHIN .

PLATONIC SOULMATE : best friends , but make it sentimental . they are thicker than thieves , get on each other’s nerves , but they don’t know what they’d do without the other . finish each other’s sentences ( and sandwiches . sung will finish it ) and are borderline like an old married couple with the way they act .

that’s all i got now but i’ve reblogged some posts that can be found HERE and i’m down to fill any wcs that you may have as well !

#masters.intro #this is really long MVJCNXVC sorry ya'll

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dontgetsalmonella · 3 years

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Here are some of the Italian ACOSF reviews translated (Spoilers!)

Contains spoilers people be careful!!!!!!! Also this is kinda long, oops

Okay so, instead of studying for my nutrition exam, I translated some of the ACOSF reviews from Goodreads. I speak Spanish so I read all of those reviews too but there wasn’t anything too good. And let me tell ya, reading Italian as a Spanish speaker is like having a stroke, I can understand it but theres just something off in every sentence, so I had to turn to Google translate.

First review, 4 stars: “I still don't know how many stars to give, but I have to say I'm pretty surprised. It's not perfect, please, but after leaving Crescent City halfway through I was terrified. Instead, the commitment of Maas is very noticeable. Among the books I've read (and I've read almost all of them except Kingdom of ash) this seems to me the best in terms of style (I REPEAT, it's not perfect, there are always some very ... "Maas-like" things, but they are not annoying, indeed they made me smile). Nesta is a wonderful, realistic character, for me the best written by the author. I saw myself there a lot and I won't deny that in some scenes I was also very excited.”

5 stars, “Very beautifull! I have to be completely honest, when I read that it was a 720-page brick, it took the anxiety. Could I have finished it in time? And then, would Maas have convinced me? Both responses came quickly. This is a transformative book for Nesta, there is so much inside her (and I had already seen it) that every page of this novel was necessary for her to grow up, to accept, to learn. Cassian is wonderful, as always. His patience, his sweetness, his love are deep and transpire from the paper. As announced by Maas, this book is downright hot, it contains explicit sex scenes and if that bothers you then be prepared. The relationship between Nesta and Cassian grows slowly like a fire which at first is just a flame but in the end burns with passion. I already loved them as secondary characters and now, even more. Maybe there will be flaws, but honestly I can't find them after reading. Get ready for a great book!”

4.75 stars, “700 pages (in the italian version) dedicated to the Nessian! Oh, my little heart! :3 I enjoyed the reading so much, there's so much romance (very adult romance) and all my expectations were met. Rhys, forgive me, but I fell completely in love with Cassian. And Nesta, I feel you girl! Can't wait to tell you more! My review will be out on February, 23th”

5 stars, “It's been a week since I finished this book and I still can't get it out of my head. I already know that it will be among the favorites of the year, because the story of Cassian and Nesta has really conquered me * - * The growth path of the two protagonists is crazy, but to be honest, I never doubted that Maas would have made their justice. I'll tell you about it on February 22, but I can't wait for you all to read it, and above all I need to have the next book in the series in my hands (even if we don't know who it will be yet) <3″

An english review from some (lucky) gal who got her copy early, “I honestly thought I'd struggle with this book. I haven't really liked Nesta in the previous books, and thought being in her head would be hard. Boy was I wrong! My book got delivered early, and I decided to dive in. Almost immediately upon starting the book, I was in love. Nesta is sharp-tongued and often cruel, but it comes from a place of deep hurt. She does a *lot* of work over the course of the book to make up for the wrongs she has committed, particularly against her sisters, and become a better, stronger person. Through it all is Cassian. He sees just how strong and amazing Nesta can be, if only she would let herself. Along with some amazing characters, this books is super steamy! While I'm kinda annoyed my cover won't match the rest of the books, I do appreciate that they made this one look more adult fantasy, cause it definitely is. There is a lot of sex, and while I think a teen who already reads romances would be totally fine, I wouldn't want someone picking it up expecting the more typical teen romance levels. While the romance was great (and pretty central to the story), A Court of Silver Flames also had a number of great plots. I won't go into too much detail (because spoilers) but I'll touch on some of them. First and foremost, is Nesta's character plot. Her family is sick of her crap, and have set an ultimatum. She's to train with Cassian and spend time in the library assisting the women who live there. She's incredibly resistant to this at first (unsurprisingly), but with the help of those around her, she grows to greatly enjoy this time. It's also how she gets to know some great women that she ends up befriending. The plot most connected to the rest of the ACOTAR world involves a rising conflict with the mortal queens (one in particular). To try to beat her, the crew must recover some ancient magical artifacts before their enemies do. This plot gave Cassian and Nesta something to do outside of training and sexy-times. While somewhat contained to the book, I suspect this plot will also carry over into the other books...”

#acosf #acosf spoilers #acosf sneak peek #acotar spoilers #spoilers

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quillyfied · 4 years

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Mega Good Omens Fic Rec Post 5

What up, it’s back!

77 carefully-curated titles for your perusal today! As always, the fics are broken into the following categories: Jaunts through History/Canon, South Downs, Post-Apocalypse, Bus Ride/The Night Before/Heaven and Hell, AU/UA, Just Soft, Touch-Starved/Body Worship/Wings, Bonus, and H/C /Whump/BAMF. I don’t read smut fics but sometimes there are sexual elements to the stories and sometimes you get invested and then suddenly the author drops a smut chapter, so warnings where applicable.

Mega GOmens Fic Rec Post MASTER

LET ME KNOW IF A LINK IS BROKEN OR MISATTRIBUTED AND I WILL FIX IT RIGHT AWAY.

JAUNTS THROUGH HISTORY/CANON

1. Get Thee To A Nunnery – Owenjones (T, the one where Aziraphale is put in a nunnery and needs a bit of a rescue. More or less Ineffable Wives time, but warnings for Aziraphale being forced into a female corporation against his will, that’s pretty icky (three guesses for who the offending Archangel is). Crowley is posing as a little lady known as Julie D’Aubigny, which, if that rings no bells, you should Google her immediately and then go into this fic cackling like I did. Very sweet, a fun little adventure!)

2. Bibliophilia – @wingedspirit (G, the one where Aziraphale has a book nemesis and Crowley always seems to have the perfect book as a gift, what a coincidence. This is so funny, you guys, seriously. We stan ONE (1) oblivious angel in this house. And when Aziraphale finally catches on, it’s so cute, I can’t even. I cannot EVEN. Go read it right now immediately.)

3. The Heart Goes To Heaven, The Head Goes To Hell – Dekkles (T, the one where Crowley has intentions of making an angel Fall and it kinda…backfires. Guys fair warning, this one’s version of Hell is really gross, if you’re squeamish tread very carefully bc WOW it can get a bit graphic. Y’know what’s also gross? The PINING (obviously not gross in the same way but the pining is awfully feelsy and part of it does happen in Hell). Watching this Crawly go from an honestly nauseating portrayal of Hell to watching Aziraphale and kinda awkwardly twitching in his light is so delightful and I hope for more in the future (though maybe less visions of Hell, I will be so glad if and when the fic leaves that place because yikes).)

4. i like this place (it feels spooky) – @asideofourown (G, the one where Warlock manages to convince Nanny and Brother Francis to take him to a haunted house and it’s so cute. You guys. It’s SO cute. You really get a feel for little Warlock’s personality and how he sees things (and he sees ALL). Just a really cute “family” outing, really, and someone gets spooked at the end and it’s not who you think!)

5. Doubt the Stars are Fire – LilithReisender (T, the one where Aziraphale bails Crowley out of prison and they spend time together in an Italian villa. This one has cool history bits, really fun banter, and Crowley actively on the job while trying to pretend he isn’t on the job. It’s a delight, and it’s just getting started! Jump on this bandwagon, folks, it’s great!)

6. The Hellfire Club – @amarguerite (NR, the one where greater measures are taken to make sure Aziraphale isn’t promoted back upstairs. This one is so hilarious, you guys, I can’t even tell you which bit is my favorite. And the cherry on top? Wing grooming! (I can also tell you that something highly unpleasant happens to Sandalphon, if that sweetens the pot for anyone.) If you have a Thing for Crowley and Aziraphale being melodramatic and overacting, then stay put, friends. Also continue reading this list, there’s a few more that’ll catch your eye later on.)

7. The Immortal Look – MickyRC (G, the one where Crowley puts Aziraphale in some kohl and it’s awesome. A written entry for the Prince of Omens DTIYS, and even independent from Prince of Omens this fic is a winner, in my book. Crowley going dewy-eyed over Aziraphale’s looks in any capacity is always My Jam and this fic really goes for it.)

8. Merry & Bright – @peppervl (G, the one where Aziraphale and Crowley go undercover as a married couple in the Regency. You like fem!Aziraphale but don’t see it often enough? SIT DOWN, FRIENDO. Not only does this have a lovely Miss Fell for us to fawn over, but it’s a Miss Fell in possession of a fortune and surely in want of a husband, according to prim-and-proper London, and who better to help her out than one Mr. Crowley who happens to need some help on a temptation? Fun, romantic, and with a cute little twist at the end I shan’t spoil but you should really stick around for.)

9. Putting the Endearment in Dear – @joyandotherstories (G, the one where Aziraphale starts calling everyone “dear” just so he can also call Crowley by endearments. This one is sweet and a little sad and has the softest possible ending, y’all don’t even know. Read it, the point in time where Aziraphale doesn’t have to hold back his mountain of endearments anymore is a sight to behold.)

10. Between the Lines – cyankelpie (G, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale’s feelings are known but not spoken, at least not directly. This one is a historical jaunt where they have a lot of double-meaning conversations (and Crowley is very rightly lost through a lot of it, poor dear), and it aches, you guys, it just hurts. Not finished yet as of this review but WHEN IT’S DONE—I’m sure it’ll be worth it. Hot dang.)

11. No Matter How the Stars Align (They Make Me Think of You) – silentsonata (G, the one that covers stars that Crowley and Aziraphale have met under. Every once in a while there’ll come along a fic that shakes the ground as it walks. I understand the Big Bang events usually churn these out, and there are quite a few on this list, but this fic here? A masterpiece. Pitch-perfect in every way, just a stunner. I want to tell y’all to pay special attention to certain chapters but they all took my breath utterly away and it would be unfair to single any out over the rest, the whole work is a monument. Just beautiful.)

12. Too Wise to Woo Peaceably – purewanderlust (T, the one that’s five times they see “Much Ado About Nothing” throughout history. I love me some “Much Ado,” personally, and this fic knows what it’s on about. Wonderfully romantic and ends with the single most perfect conversation, I swear 2 someone. Hits right in the feels.)

13. Just Another Sword Fight – DemonicGeek (NR, the one that’s a 5+1 about Crowley swordfighting. If you’re here because Aziraphale taking on the role of the swooning maiden to Crowley’s dashing hero makes you, in fact, be the one swooning, say hello to your new best friend. If you like to follow all that up with Aziraphale taking charge when needed, I might suggest building a home here, because ABSOLUTELY that’s what you’re getting.)

14. A Few More Rescues – @poetic----nonsense (T, the one with, predictably, a few more rescues. If the previous fic had you reeling and begging for more, welcome to the buffet, children. These are some really fun rescues by Crowley on behalf of Aziraphale, and they’re unconventional and historical AF (especially the bit with the dragon) (you bet your sweet keister there’s a bit with a dragon). This fic is so much fun and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it.)

15. Floriography – Frenchmeister (T, the one where Crowley doesn’t get flower language. The premise is, Crowley slept through a large chunk of the Victorian era, so he doesn’t know what Aziraphale keeps trying to say as they work at the Dowlings’ estate raising Warlock. He does know that the philodendron is a menace, no matter what it’s supposed to mean. Funny and nerve-wracking and so, so sweet.)

16. The Interplay of Illusion and Magic – SoulJelly (T, the one where Aziraphale tries to join a magicians’ society. This one has some delightful history and Aziraphale trying to perform sleight of hand magic to get in a secret magicians club and a surprising twist near the middle, all told; it’s a lot more exciting than I initially thought it was going to be (I was just expecting some fluff and that was not all I got; it’s always a good day when Crowley has to come to the rescue).)

SOUTH DOWNS

17. There goes the neighborhood – @bestoftheseekwill (G, the one where Crowley’s retirement peace is threatened by construction. If you’re here for Crowley wiles, anti-capitalism, and flashes of protective Aziraphale, get ready to take a load off because this is primo.)

18. Teatime Revelations – Cardinal_Daughter (T, the one where God invites Herself over for tea. This one is strained and it’s emotional and it’s all the softer for it. Aziraphale being quiet and protective while Crowley has a come-apart in the face of God is iconic, tbh; pretty sure this fic inspired a lot of my own portrayals of the GOmens God, looking back on it. A wonderful and light-hearted take.)

POST-APOCALYPSE

19. Lose a Kraken, Gain an Angel – MistressKat (T, the one where Hastur has an expected friendship. This fic has everything—Hastur being a sympathetic character, the Kraken, Crowley pining after Aziraphale, the Antichrist, and is hilarious from start to finish. A fun and tonally accurate diversion, please read.)

20. Something Old, Something New – shippityshipship (G, the series where Crowley and Aziraphale are involved in weddings. Short and hasn’t updated in a while but still excellent reading, I find; great characterization, some fun OCs, lovely atmosphere, oblivious pining while everyone else thinks they’re dating, it’s amazing.)

21. The difficulty with disposable demons – @areyougonnabe (T, the one where Eric the disposable demon shows up and it’s a madhouse in Crowley’s apartment. This is a really funny take on what happens to the disposable demons and why they are the way they are, and with the added bonus of driving Crowley up the wall and some mild miscommunications with Aziraphale that are all sorted out in the end.)

22. Care and Keeping – @arcafira (M, T, the series where Crowley is shedding and Aziraphale tries to help. Not rated M for anything violent or sexual, really more of a T than an M but there is a bath scene and a lot of self-loathing. There’s a lot of convincing Crowley to let Aziraphale care for him and a lot of working through Fall-related issues, but it leaves off in a wonderfully hopeful place.)

23. The Clockwork Days – redwinehouse (T, the one where the world’s ending again. There are many fics that have tackled possible sequels to Good Omens and this is one of the more tonally accurate ones, I feel; it’s very tongue-in-cheek and matter-of-fact, and the little twist at the end was a genuine surprise to me. Whack in plenty of mutual pining and a Bentley that has had it up to HERE with these idiots and you’ve got a recipe for a good little story.)

24. don’t leave me here alone – Elvendork (T, the one where Crowley asks for holy water again. This one is a tense argument, right up until it isn’t, and absolutely delectable, really. If you’re a fan of Aziraphale bringing up hellfire to go toe to toe with Crowley on the issue, BUCKLE UP BUTTERCUP, this one is dunking itself into Soft Town with that accelerant to really drive it home.)

25. The Next Time We Wed – seashadows (T, the one where a mix-up leads to marriage. If drunken mistakes and their aftermath is what you’re after, welcome to the party, folks, because this one’s a whopper. Can people pine while being married to each other? The answer is yes. Can it have a soft ending? Also yes. Can it include the mothers of such characters as Anathema and Newt being wonderful characters in their own right? The answer, incredibly, is yes.)

26. You Can’t Un-See A Dog – @holycatsandrabbits (T, the one where Crowley is summoned and there’s shenanigans afoot. I won’t talk too much about the plot of this one bc I don’t want to spoil it but suffice it to say that this one is hilarious and has some especially gratifying Ineffable Husband silent communication at play. If your entire reason for existence, like Crowley’s, is seeing Bastard!Aziraphale at work, then bunk down here, friendos, you’ve arrived.)

BUS RIDE/NIGHT BEFORE/HEAVEN AND HELL

27. Crowley, Big Bad Demon, Can Keep His Cool Around His Crush – @edennovik (T, the one where Crowley…well, see title, and then immediately disregard. Crowley cannot, in fact, keep his cool around his crush. Crowley is doing the opposite of keeping his cool around his crush. Crowley is a ball of anxiety and screaming pining gooey mess and Aziraphale might just like him anyway.)

AU/UA

28. If Not Now, When – @ineffablefool (T, the one where trans café worker Crowley strikes up a conversation with fat pretty Aziraphale. Listen. Y’all know ineffablefool. Y’all know he is a force that cannot be stopped or reckoned with, when it comes to Soft Fat-Postive Asexual Romance. So I do not say this lightly when I say that this is possibly his masterwork. There is a lot of good, good content in his catalogue but the emotional work put into this makes the whole thing stand straight up and resonate. It’s tender and respectful and handles conflicts of gender and sexuality with grace and gentleness and oh no I’m tearing up pls send help I’m DROWNING—).

29. Trip the Light – @summerofspock (M, the one where Aziraphale falls in love first. M for a sex scene near the end of the fic, second half of Chapter 17, so keep an eye out for that if you’re sensitive to it. Oh, y’all. This one goes through canon and a few scenes outside of it and the recontextualizing of those scenes as Aziraphale hopelessly in love and Crowley as oblivious is amazing. Even more amazing: once Crowley finally catches on and then it becomes Aziraphale once again in his role of holding back. Guys. Y’all. My DUDES. I am in the throes of agony. It’s so good.)

30. one love (only for you) – @weatheredlaw (M, the one that’s a vague Snow White AU. It’s truly unfair how poetic and romantic this one is, how lovely. It has fantasy elements and ridiculous vengeful brothers and soft, soft boys in love. A sweet little way to spend an afternoon, tbh.)

31. in the house we remain – @commodorecliche (M, the one where Crowley’s a ghost in the house Aziraphale has bought. M for masturbation, weird ghost sex, and a harrowing backstory for Crowley; if you’re squeamish about sexual things and not good at gauging how to skip them, or if you can’t stand abuse stories, I would pass this one up. Y’all. Y’ALL. So thoroughly upsetting, this one; the horror elements are real but so is the romance and it’s a beautiful balance of the two. What’s wild is how believable it is; it could easily have been a story about Aziraphale just becoming obsessed with and romanticizing a dead person who used to live in his house but it feels like an actual love story, with Crowley learning how to trust Aziraphale, as well, despite their planar incompatibility. The ending is so unbelievably sweet. And there’s art now! There wasn’t, when I first added it to the list! Huzzah!)

32. pop! goes my heart – @areyougonnabe (E, the one that’s a Music and Lyrics AU. E for a sex scene near the end of Chapter 6 that’s a bit difficult to skip, since there’s a couple of relevant paragraphs after it that set up the next chapter, but if you’re up for the challenge, godspeed. First things first: this fic has ORIGINAL MUSIC RECORDED BY THE AUTHOR AND IT’S AMAZING. Music and Lyrics is one of my personal favorite romcoms, and what’s been done with it is not only accurate to the actual music industry, but accurate to the characters, as well. It’s such a fun story, adapted well, and the writing style is just charming. Fantastic!)

33. For the First Time in Forever – @nicnacsnonsense (T, the one that’s a Frozen AU. I am excited for this one, y’all. The adaptation is already so much fun and it’s only going to get funner. Aziraphale as Elsa and Crowley in an Anna-adjacent role (but not actually bc no incest) is amazing, the Olaf stand-in outshines the original, and the emotional toll is already pretty high. Absolutely worth a read.)

34. Sailor’s Omens – NeverNooitNiet (G, the one where Crowley’s a pirate and Aziraphale is his prisoner. There’s a touch of historical homophobia but that doesn’t matter much out at sea, really. If the boys being clever and bickering and also one-upping beloved series antagonists is something you enjoy, welcome to the party, friends. It’s a good old-fashioned piracy romp that’s sure to satisfy.)

35. Pomegranate Seeds – @nicnacsnonsense (G, the one that’s a Persephone and Hades AU with Aziraphale as Hades and Crowley as Persephone. This one has a unique tone and is also romantic as all get-out; throw in genderfluid Crowley, love at first sight, and Aziraphale being a sweetie, it’s a story well worth its salt, imo.)

36. Laws of Gravity – @brightwanderer (T, the one where Aziraphale invents pining for Raphael. Listen. I think we all know at this point that brightwanderer, or Atalan on ao3, has earned her clout as a GOmens fanfic heavyweight. She didn’t NEED to write an awkward and earnest Raphael trying to go incognito as Crowley into the Garden of Eden. She didn’t NEED to write about how incredibly awkward Aziraphale is while heels over halo in love. She didn’t NEED to have an engaging plot and a wonderful twist on the Temptation of Eve and also the most awkward and obvious besotted angels in the universe. But she did. And we are blessed. So go partake.)

37. Incubus!Crowley – GenericUsername01 (G, T, the series where Crowley is a sex demon and we get to see what that means. This fic threads the very specific needle I personally enjoy where sex is an element of the story and has bearing on it, but the story doesn’t have any actual sex scenes in it. I love this writer’s style and where they take Crowley and Aziraphale’s relationship; I love the view of Hell in the first bit; I love all of it, really. A+++.)

38. Everyone But You – @summerofspock (M, the one where Crowley is hired to seduce an angel. M for some saucy makeouts and some post-coital afterglow but nothing explicit. If y’all like stories where a conman is hired to do a job and starts to have complicated feelings about it, especially if those feelings are falling in love with his mark, then here you go. It’s amazing as all heck and hilarious to boot; Crowley learning what falling in love is like is always a treat but omg. Poor Aziraphale. And the most DELIGHTFUL resolution, my goodness.)

39. In Mixed Company, or the Corporate Retreat of Heaven and Hell – @theoldaquarian (M, the one where Heaven and Hell have a joint corporate retreat every so often and Crowley and Aziraphale are doomed. M for some adult themes but nothing explicit. Y’all. TheOldAquarian must be stopped. They cannot continue to be so funny and engaging. They cannot continue to have the most corporate and hilariously mundane depiction of Heaven and Hell. They are a MENACE who, in the space of one fic, has packed all the pining of the ages in so tightly that when it finally bursts free, my shoulders physically relaxed and my spine uncoiled. This fic in particular is too much and too wonderful. I really must protest.)

40. Loosely Ballroom – marginalia_device, @mortifyingideal (T, the one where Aziraphale is a professional dancer and Crowley is a contestant on a show with him (for American viewers, think Dancing With the Stars). This fic is so good and so funny and so achingly in-character. I love Crowley as the washed-up old star trying to kick his career back up, I love Aziraphale as the put-upon dancer on his last legs, and I love that they’re both the victim of a studio gimmick and then decide that malicious compliance is their best bet. It’s still early in the fic (…at over 40k words wow it’s gonna be a monster and I’m ready), but it’s going to be so good already, I can just tell. There’s already some art for it floating around by naniiebimworks for the interested.)

JUST SOFT

41. Repeat the Sounding Joy – @allonsy-gabriel (G, the one where they decorate a Christmas tree. This is a short and sweet look at what the holidays are like for an angel and a demon post-apocalypse and it’s so adorable, you guys. Crowley having FEELINGS and Aziraphale being fussy about his decorating, it’s just a treat.)

42. The Nesting Habits of Angelus Principalum – @obaewankenope (NR, the one where Aziraphale nests and is gently protective. This fic is quiet and understated and so unbelievably romantic without being over the top about it; it’s a quiet coming together that creeps up on you, much like how the realization of Aziraphale’s nesting habits creeps up on Crowley. A lovely little thing.)

43. we’ll get there fast and then we’ll take it slow – @tonyhawksmovingcastle (E, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale wind up faking a relationship on a couple’s cruise. E for Chapter 7, which is completely skippable without ruining any plot. This one gets a double whammy for both engaging plot and wonderful OCs that add to rather than distract from the story. Fake dating is fun enough but when you’re fake dating and also being wingmanned by well-meaning possibly supernatural sapphics, while also having fun in the tropics, it’s a recipe for a good time all around (at least for the audience). So lovely and sweet and that moment when Crowley and Aziraphale finally get together is magic.)

44. Road Trip Games and Love – rgfalso (T, the one where Crowley and Aziraphale go on a road trip together. This one almost takes place in real time, and has the most intense and emotional back-and-forth while these poor saps try to work out the Thing between them without actually talking about it for as long as inhumanly possible. Of course there are lots of road trip games, and of course those road trip games are a vehicle of conveyance for what they’re actually trying to say, and cue all the misunderstandings in the world. It’s frustrating and cathartic and amazing and the end especially is so, so sweet.)

45. The Most Stylish Wedding of AZ Fell and AJ Crowley – @leapoffaith1489 (T, the one where Aziraphale is determined to discard tartan for the wedding. Y’all. Omg. If relatively low-stakes cute wedding shenanigans are your thing, welcome home. If Aziraphale being pleasantly surprised is your thing, welcome home. If Aziraphale working through minor insecurities is your thing, welcome, truly, home. Featuring a lovely cast of side characters and a soft-as-butter plot.)

46. The Newlywed Game (Not What You’d Think) – @heavenslittlehellion (NR, the one where a game of drunken truth-telling goes a little farther than anticipated. Hello, welcome to the emotional gut-punch fic, you’ve arrived. The only thing that saves this from dunking into the last category on this list with the other h/c and whump fics is how low-stakes it is and how soft it is when they get past the unpleasant bit. People who love theories on what the Fall felt like, welcome to the table.)

47. On the Road to Love – Mizmak (G, the one where Crowley enters a motor rally race with the Bentley, with Aziraphale as navigator. While there’s great fun in Crowley and Aziraphale needling each other, there’s greater joy in their friendship and tenderness towards the other (and asexual bed-sharing fans, rejoice). It’s a fun concept all around and definitely worth the read.)

48. Mr. Fell’s Bookshop ficlets – @holycatsandrabbits (G, T, the series where Mr. Fell has regular customers and they love the place as much as they love its weird and eldritch owner. For folks who love seeing the Ineffable Duo through others’ eyes, this is a fun series to scratch that particular itch, and has spawned a number of spin-off fics, unless I’m mistaken. It’s a relatively low-stakes series, for people wanting something like that these days, too.)

49. Quiet Reflection – @shinyopals (T, the one where they have to duck into a church to avoid demons. If the phrase “spicy Jesus crackers” holds any appeal whatsoever, go read this fic immediately. It’s heartfelt and hilarious and really that’s all you can ask for in a good fluff fic. Also Crowley being held. Really, that’s all any of us want from life.)

50. Deck the Halls – forthegreatergood (G, the one where mistletoe should really not be this hard to get a hold of. Y’all you simply MUST stick around for the hijinks in this one. They are manifold and hilarious. Does it end in makeouts? Possibly. You’ll just have to read it, won’t you?)

51. The Secret Dress – GlitterSkullFairy (G, the one where Crowley has a secret wedding dress. This one is very dramatic and sad…and then Aziraphale pops in. Like with all things concerning these two, it immediately takes a turn from there. If putting Crowley in pretty dresses is a thing you enjoy, have a seat and enjoy the show, it’s a softy.)

52. Well…That’s New – @almaasi (G, the one where Crowley doesn’t realize he’s in love. If oblivious Crowley is more to your taste, this is the one for you. Takes the concept “what if Crowley was in love but didn’t realize it” and runs with it for all it’s worth. Hilarious and sweet and wonderful.)

53. serpent, serpent-bearer – @elsajeni (G, the one that’s about horoscopes. I realize the Soft section of the rec list is for things that are Soft but hhnnngkk you guys. This one is so cute. My heart can’t take it. They’re so gosh darned precious, with their newspaper and their horoscopes and their welcome invasion of each other’s personal space.)

54. If Only You Were Mine – @somethingscarlet13 (G, the one where Crowley gets so drunk he can’t remember who Aziraphale’s husband is, just that he’s married. This is a little sugar shot for your day, folks—short, sweet, silly, and did I mention sweet? It is so worth having a giggle at drunk Crowley’s expense, please do read it.)

55. Cupboard Love – @copperplatebeech (T, the one where Crowley is a cranky snek. I would also highly recommend this for folks who enjoy Madam Tracy, especially Madam Tracy being utterly unaffected by being face-to-face with the supernatural and cooing over things like the wonderful lady she is. Fun and a little silly and a lot adorable.)

56. affirmation, appreciation – pearlwaldorf (G, the one where Aziraphale helps someone in need a little differently than expected. This one has Aziraphale taking on the persona of an interested male party looking to pick up the spirits of a woman on the tail end of a messy divorce and Crowley understanding but still getting a little jealous. It’s so sweet and so lovely, both what Aziraphale and Crowley do for this poor woman and how Aziraphale reassures Crowley afterwards. Top notch.)

57. Forget-Me-Not – @dietraumerei (T, the one where Crowley gets amnesia. Not as dramatic as others, he just loses 200 years and it’s temporary, but it’s ever so sweet, watching Crowley fall back in love with the modern world and be gobsmacked that he and Aziraphale are finally together. There’s a lot of reassurance and tender sweet nothings thrown about and I’m pretty sure I developed a heart condition just from reading this, it’s too good.)

58. They Shake The Mountains When They Dance – @copperbadge (T, the one where Crowley finds Aziraphale’s scar. Operating on the theory that Aziraphale was injured in the War in Heaven and that’s why he clutches his leg and limps when he’s discorporated, this is the sappiest, sweetest rumination on the subject I have ever read. Crowley gets so protective and defensive, and Aziraphale is so gentle in talking him down. On the whole, it’s just wonderful and so, so cute. Omg.)

59. Familiar Care – ginger_mosaic (G, the one where the Ineffable Dads have to take their snabies in for medical help. This comes from the Wiggleverse, which on the whole I cannot strongly recommend enough, but this fic in particular centers around the most delightful OC veterinarian who handles Crowley and Aziraphale’s strange family very well. There’s also a fun twist at the end, so absolutely keep reading to find out what that is. And also, immerse yourself in adorable snake baby shenanigans, because they are the best sort.)

TOUCH-STARVED/BODY WORSHIP/WINGS

60. Rituals (or the Seven Layer Bean Dip Approach to Sex) – SleepySelfLoathing (T, the one where no seriously metaphysical angel/demon sex is super weird. Fans of truly esoteric ethereal/occult mating rituals rejoice, for this is your new home. It’s abstract but no less beautiful for it, I think; the imagery and emotional accompaniment are all lovely, even if they don’t meet conventional human romance standards. You can really tell that it means a lot to Crowley and Aziraphale, the ways they show how much they love each other. A weird and delectable little dish, by all accounts.)

61. Under Pressure – @copperplatebeech (M, the one where Crowley steals kisses. M for sensuality and body worship but nothing too explicit; also could be construed as dubcon kissing, for those of you sensitive to that. Hhhgkk y’all. Crowley thinks he’s being sly getting away with smooching Aziraphale throughout history while they’re both drunk off their rockers but does not count on Aziraphale actually remembering, and then once the Apocalypse is done with and they’re On Their Own Side and Can Aknowledge These Things…well. They do. Crowley is a mess and Aziraphale is a mess and they love each other so much. The writing is so tender and I’m CRYING.)

62. London Calling – forthegreatergood (G, the one with slow-burn wing grooming. There’s so much crammed into this bad boy and it balances it admirably—Crowley’s relationship with Aziraphale, Crowley’s relationship with Hell, Crowley thinking about retirement, Crowley getting preemptively banned from a certain European country for being a pest outside of its consulate, Crowley losing his cool over getting to touch Aziraphale’s wings. Humor, aching tenderness, the kind of longing that feels like a high, quavering violin note, tension and release. A beautiful piece.)

63. Elmie’s Ineffable Fireplace Fics – @almaasi (G, M, M, the series that is completely unrelated except for the physical and also figurative appearances of warm fireplaces. M for sensuality but nothing explicit. The first two are mainly short fluff; the third is a long Regency-esque AU with some gender and sexuality shenanigans on top of Real Danger and Intrigue. True to the writer’s promise, all three fics are pretty comfortable and warm, even if the third has some action and tension. They’re absolutely lovely, imo.)

64. The Hands Applauded (And This Was No Sin) – @ticketybye (G, the one where Crowley as a preoccupation with Aziraphale’s hands. Deals with both touch-starvation and touch-aversity in the same fic and weirdly enough it works. The fic is heartbreaking but it has a good resolution and that’s important.)

65. Moult – @sameoldsorceress (T, the one where Aziraphale molts and Crowley doesn’t. This is typical wing-grooming fare…right up until it isn’t. I won’t spoil the twist but rest assured that there is absolutely a twist. Other than that, it’s supportive and sweet and lovely and lord knows we all could use some of that right now.)

66. never get to heaven on a night like this – RestlessWanderings (G, the series where the Ineffable Wives are touch-starved and pining. The only reason this fic goes here instead of in Jaunts Through History is because especially in Crowley’s side of the story, the touch starvation is so horrifically visceral I very nearly bought myself a weighted blanket out of sympathy stress. They are both so afraid and so desperate for a bit of connection, the pining is absolutely ridiculous. And it helps that there’s worldbuilding there that’s both thematically appropriate and interesting to read. Engendered by lesbianism and catholic guilt, I believe the author said, and in this case what a delicious combination with an absolutely amazing ending.)

67. Strength in Modesty – flandersmare (T, the one where Aziraphale has a secret wardrobe. Y’all. I have a special love-hate relationship with clothes and my body and this fic somehow felt very soothing on both of those fronts. Corsetry is front and center, and it’s all very well-researched and well-presented. The story is so quiet and understated and is really told through excellent sensory details. The ending about broke my heart for tenderness. It’s a double love letter to Aziraphale and to fashion throughout history and I love it.)

BONUS

68. Tales of the Them – @lyricwritesprose (G, the series where Crowley and Aziraphale are the Them’s godparents, too. This is such a fun series, with a lot of stories that are not just funny in bits, but also meaningful. For fans of the Them and people who like stories about children that aren’t dumbed-down or grimdark.)

69. Stans in High Places – @doomed-spectacles (G, the one where there’s someone in the Earth Observation department keeping an eye on Crowley and Aziraphale. Another take on the angel(s) in charge of Earth Observation, this time featuring a singular angel called Grigori, and boy is he a cutie. His friendship with fellow angel Pravuil is also blossoming and sweet throughout, and the amount of innocent cuteness throughout is just spectacular. What an adorable story.)

70. Anthony J Crowley, Retired Demon and AirBnB Superhost – @theoldaquarian (G, the one where Crowley turns his flat into an AirBnB. Told as if reading a comment section, it is hilarious and paints a horrid picture of what interacting with Crowley—and Aziraphale!—is like for normal humans. I can’t give you any more details than that, you are just going to have to read it and laugh your head off about it like I did.)

71. A Guide to Fame for the Enterprising Demon – @asideofourown (T, the one where Crowley writes a book and accidentally becomes a queer icon. This is…so funny. And so sweet. And like most fics where human bystanders try to piece together what’s happening and come away with completely wrong conclusions, it’s utterly charming. You almost start rooting for the internet conspiracy theorists trying to unearth what exactly Crowley is from his (presumably) evasive or strange answers to interview questions.)

72. Hell Of An Angel – WaitingToBeBroken (T, the one where everyone thinks Crowley is a mafia family. This one is funny in a dramatic irony way; the way that every narrator in this is CONVINCED that Crowley is A. a family of redheads that all look eerily similar, and B. extremely dangerous, is entertaining all on its own. It helps that the writing is smooth and the characters are all fairly engaging, too. A fun little diversion for your day.)

H/C /WHUMP/BAMF

73. the only one i want – @qorktrees (T, the one where Crowley needs some convincing. The hurt in this one is real, folks. But so is the comfort. At last steps are taken to assure Crowley of how much he is wanted, of how much his love is cherished and his touch desired. If you cry while reading this, congrats and welcome to the club, we are all miserable touch-starved fools here.)

74. Always One More Time – boughofawillowtree (T, the one where Aziraphale has remaining psychological scars from Heaven. This one is tough, y’all, real tough. Aziraphale has a couple of abusive flashbacks and intrusive thoughts and his anxiety flaring up is a constant, so people sensitive to that should take heed. That said, this is a very healing fic, with a lot of underlying hurt that floats to the surface. But throughout Crowley does his best to be patient and understanding and even with a disagreement, it remains gentle and loving throughout.)

75. Smote and smitten – @nohaijiachi (G, the one where Aziraphale is a badass and we are ALL here for it. Screaming Hastur, briefly-sentient flaming swords, Aziraphale being amazing, and starry-eyed Crowley are all the ingredients chosen to make a wonderful little fic, and we are all grateful for it. What a guy, that Aziraphale.)

76. Nearly Romeo and Juliet – bisexual_dumbass (T, the one where Crowley’s hiding his panic attacks. This one hurts, friends. This one has miscommunications and fear and boundary communication, all while being so tense even the gentlest touch will snap something. It’s got learning to take care of yourself and value yourself and live FOR yourself. It is very important and I hope a lot of you read it because gosh dang.)

77. Pigeon Girlfriends With A Long Preamble – SleepySelfLoathing (T, the one that’s exactly what it says on the tin. This fic has it all: humor! Torture! Terrible humans! Wrathful Aziraphale! Pain and suffering! Tenderness and care! Pigeon girlfriends! The Hurt and the Comfort are present in about equal measure, but fair warning that what Crowley is made to do just before his rescue is more than a little disturbing, both to readers and especially to Crowley.)

#good omens #good omens fic recs #mega gomens fic rec list #mega fic rec list #whoof #probably take a break for a bit #then start work on six and seven's reviews #and maybe start on compiling eight #why do y'all write so much fic #why is it all so good

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thatsamericano · 3 years

Text

She Tastes Like Apple Juice and Peach

Pairing: Nyo America/Nyo Romano. Mention of Nyo Romano/male OC, mention of nyo Ukraine/nyo Canada. Human AU.

Rating/Warnings: Teen. Compulsory heterosexuality and internalized lesbophobia from the POV character. Mix of fluff and angst, with an ambiguously sad ending. (The pining is mutual, but they’re not ready to talk about it yet.)

Word Count: 2337

Summary: Amelia kisses Chiara when she’s just 14 as “practice” for her future boyfriend. Amelia doesn’t even know if she wants a boyfriend, but she also doesn’t know how to tell her best friend the truth.

A/N: Title from “She” by Dodie. I use “Yuri” as the name for nyo Ukraine, which I got from this post by @feynavaley. This fic will be up on AO3 soon.

Amelia was glad to catch up with Chiara, and glad that she actually got to hug her and speak to her in person. She couldn’t begrudge Kiki for spending time with her family in Italy, and it wasn’t like Amelia had been completely alone with nothing to do this summer. But she had missed her best friend, and it was nice to spend the night together eating junk food, watching TV, and enjoying each other’s company.

Amelia liked hearing about Chiara’s cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents, but the one thing she could have done without hearing about was this boy Chiara had met. He lived in the house next door to her grandparents, and he was named Salvatore. Chiara’s eyes sparkled when she talked about how cute and nice Salvatore was, and her cheeks flushed a shade similar to the color of her ruffled rose pajama top. Amy smiled, but she felt a little queasy when she heard the name the special emphasis Chiara put on his name. Maybe she had eaten too much popcorn, or maybe it was the fact she’d never really felt like that about a boy. Gilbert and Magnus were her friends, but they were in the grade above her and treated her like a little sister. Tolys and Kiku were also fun to hang out with, but she never got butterflies around them, and definitely not like the overwhelming sensations Madeleine seemed to experience around her friend Yuri. Many times, Maddie blushed bright red as she shyly confided in her twin about something sweet Yuri had said or done. Amelia had never felt the urge to gush like that about anyone (except Chiara, which didn’t really count, since they were best friends and both girls).

Maybe it was like her dad had said, and Amelia was just a “late bloomer.” Or maybe she was weird for not getting crushes on people. She always felt strange whenever girls her age started talking about the guys they liked, because she never had anything to say. She felt strange now, because she couldn’t understand why Chiara was so impressed by stuff like Salvatore being a good soccer player. Amelia was good at lots of sports, including soccer. Even if he could beat her at soccer, she could probably kick his ass at baseball.

The bottom dropped out of her stomach when Chiara started talking about a date she and Salvatore had gone on. It wasn’t much, just a trip to the movies and a walk around town, but it was more romance than Amelia had ever experienced. That was why she had to hide her jealousy behind a fake smile.

Chiara giggled as she got near the end of her story. “And then when he was dropping me off at the house, Totò, he uhh… he kissed me.”

“He kissed you?” Amelia repeated. She was surprised, and her chest felt weirdly tight. Probably indigestion from all that popcorn.

Chiara nodded and tucked a strand of wavy hair behind her ear. “He did. It was my first kiss ever.”

Amelia nibbled on her bottom lip and looked away. She hadn’t been kissed yet, and she was sad that her best friend had experienced something so life-changing without her. “Was it nice? Did it feel good?”

“It was okay, I guess?” When she glanced over, Chiara was frowning at the memory. “Honestly, it would’ve been a lot better if he hadn’t pulled away after two seconds and sneezed in my face.”

Amelia laughed. “He sneezed in your face?! Who the hell does that?”

Chiara tossed a pillow at her. “Shut up, idiota! It wasn’t his fault! He was allergic to my perfume!”

Amelia took several more seconds to calm down. “Still, that sounds horrible, Kiki. I’m sorry.”

“It was kinda gross,” Chiara admitted with a shrug. “The second kiss was better. I was wearing a different perfume then.”

So, Chiara had kissed this boy multiple times. Amelia hadn’t kissed anyone ever.

“So is he your boyfriend now, or…” Part of Amelia really didn’t want to hear the answer, but she felt obligated to ask.

Chiara sighed. “He lives in Palermo, so that wouldn’t really work. It was a summer fling, and it wasn’t meant to last. We had fun, but we’re both okay with it being over now.”

Amelia nodded, even though it didn’t make much sense to her. She didn’t think it was possible for Salvatore to get over someone as beautiful and amazing as Chiara. No boy would ever be able to.

“Well, while you were breaking boys’ hearts in Sicily, my summer was much more boring by comparison. Just the normal stuff you’re used to.”

Chiara chuckled and nudged her side. “So no torrid summer romances for you?”

“Nah. I guess guys don’t see me that way.” Amelia knew that was supposed to bother her. It bothered her mom, who had repeatedly told Amy that boys would never notice her if she kept acting like such a tomboy. But Amelia wasn’t even sure if she wanted boys to notice her. She wasn’t sure how she would react if they did.

Chiara rolled her eyes. “Boys are stupid. I wouldn’t waste too much time worrying about what they think.”

Amelia frowned and stared down at the toenails Chiara had painted for her earlier. “Easy for you to say. You’re super pretty, like a 14-year-old version of that famous Italian movie star whose name I can’t remember right now. And I’m just… well, me.” She was chubbier than a lot of girls her age, had metal braces on her teeth, and had to wear glasses if she wanted to see worth a damn. Amelia didn’t think she was ugly, but she didn’t think she was particularly pretty either, and that made her feel bad for reasons she didn’t entirely understand. Why did it matter how she looked when she wasn’t even sure if she wanted boys to notice her as an attractive young woman?

Unless she wanted girls to notice her as an attractive young woman. But that couldn’t be true, right? Amelia was straight. She had to be. There simply wasn’t any other option.

“Cara, you shouldn’t talk about yourself that way.” Chiara reached out and covered Amelia’s hand, which made Amelia turn to look at her in surprise. “You’re gorgeous. Anyone who can’t appreciate what’s right in front of them isn’t worth your time.”

Her voice was soft, and her hazel eyes were full of conviction. Amelia’s heart raced inside her chest, but she didn’t think she was having a heart attack or suffering from some kind of illness. It felt too wonderful and bewildering to be unhealthy. Was this how Maddie felt with Yuri?

Amelia grinned. “You think I’m gorgeous? Really?”

Chiara’s face turned red as she huffed and pulled her hand away. “I’m not blind, okay?! There’s no need to be so smug about it!” She wrapped her arms around her knees, clearly embarrassed, and Amelia wanted to hug her. Or something.

She opted for the hug. “I’m not smug. I’m just… really flattered. You’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen, so you saying that I’m gorgeous is kind of a huge deal.”

“G… grazie.” Chiara sounded shy and flustered, which was adorable. God, the guy who got to be her boyfriend someday would be so lucky.

Amelia frowned. Ugh, there was that feeling again. That heavy, sinking feeling in her gut. She didn’t want to think about Kiki with a boyfriend. She didn’t want to imagine her best friend kissing a boy, touching him, talking about him with the same gleam in her eye she’d had when she spoke of the boy she kissed on vacation. Or maybe a brighter gleam because her boyfriend would mean more to her than a short summer romance.

Amelia let her arms fall away from Chiara and gave her the brightest smile she could. “It’s probably for the best. I don’t think I’m ready for the whole boyfriend thing anyway.” She wasn’t sure if she’d ever be ready for that. “Especially the kissing part. I wouldn’t know what to do if some guy tried to kiss me.” She’d probably freeze or run away.

“Well as long as you don’t sneeze in the guy’s face afterwards, you’ll be doing better than Salvatore.”

Amelia laughed. “True.”

Chiara looked nervous all of a sudden. She started playing with her hair. “I could show you, if you want.”

“Show me?”

“How to kiss people.”

“Oh. I mean, yeah? If that’s not too weird for you.” Amelia wondered if it should be weird for her. The idea of kissing Chiara didn’t feel weird at all.

Chiara smirked at her, nervousness apparently gone. “If it was too weird for me, I wouldn’t have offered, would I?”

“No, I guess not.” Amelia tilted her head towards her best friend and squinted in confusion. “Should I?”

“Just hold still.” Chiara cupped her face, leaned in, and connected their lips. Her stomach swooped like she was on a rollercoaster, and Amelia was too stunned to move or even close her eyes.

Chiara pulled away. “You’re tense. Just try to relax. Close your eyes and pretend I’m someone you want to kiss.”

Not a problem. Amelia nodded and closed her eyes, waiting for Chiara to kiss her again. This time she was prepared, and when she felt that swoop in her stomach, she sighed and parted her lips against Chiara’s mouth. Her mouth felt tingly and kind of staticky, but in a good way? She liked it. She liked kissing Chiara.

Chiara moved her lips hesitantly, and Amelia tried to copy her movements. Chiara’s tongue flicked over her lower lip, and Amelia let out a startled whimper. Chiara ripped her mouth away suddenly.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to! I got caught up in the moment and took it too far. Dio, I never got close to kissing Salvatore like that…”

Amelia caught her flailing hands in her own. “It’s fine. I didn’t mind.”

“You didn’t mind. You didn’t mind that I almost French kissed you? Are you fucking insane?!”

Maybe she was. She had been disappointed that Chiara stopped, but Amelia couldn’t say that, could she?

“We were practicing,” Amelia claimed, ignoring how her gut churned with guilt. “It doesn’t count.” Amelia hated lying to her best friend, but she didn’t know what else to do.

Chiara’s eyes looked troubled. “No, I guess it doesn’t count. But if you start to feel uncomfortable, just tell me to stop.”

Amelia nodded. “Okay.” She didn’t think she’d want to stop Chiara, so the promise was unnecessary.

Chiara slowly began to lean in, and Amelia closed her eyes.

The kiss was warm, gentle, and sweet. The tingly feeling in Amelia’s lips returned instantly, along with the roller-coaster swooping in her stomach. Chiara’s tongue shyly entered her mouth, and Amelia could taste the apple juice she had earlier along with her peach-flavored lip gloss. Amelia idly wondered if she should have brushed her teeth first or maybe put on some kind of lip balm.

Chiara pulled away a few seconds later, flushed and panting for air. “That… that was…”

“You taste like apples and peaches,” Amelia told her, too stupefied to say anything else.

Chiara giggled. “You taste like popcorn and soda. I kinda liked it, though.”

“Do you think I need more practice?” Amelia asked. She tried to make sure her voice didn’t sound too hopeful.

“Probably not. There’s nothing wrong with the way you kiss. You just have to remember not to freeze up at the beginning, and you’ll do just fine.”

It was the best answer Amelia could have realistically expected, but she still felt keenly disappointed. There was an ache inside of her that hadn’t existed before.

Chiara snuggled into her side and turned her gaze towards the television, so it wasn’t all bad. Amelia put an arm loosely around her and pretended to watch the TV too. If she breathed in, she could smell the remnants of popcorn and candy, along with a hint of lemongrass and oranges. It was coming from Chiara, and it might have been the perfume Salvatore was allergic to. She chuckled softly at the thought.

Chiara yawned. “What’s so funny?”

“Guess we know I’m not allergic to your perfume. I didn’t sneeze on your face.”

Chiara snorted. “No. No, you didn’t.”

Amelia felt the urge to confess the truth, but she pursed her lips and kept silent for the next several minutes. Only when she felt Chiara’s body growing heavier and her breathing getting softer did she dare turn her head to look at her best friend.

Kiki’s chestnut hair was tousled up against her shoulder. Her eyes were closed, and her eyebrows were slightly arched. Her nose descended in a straight line, and her lips, full and reddened from just kissing Amelia, were parted slightly. She was by far the most beautiful thing Amelia had ever seen, and that ache inside her grew. She felt the butterflies everywhere, not just her stomach.

“I don’t think I want a boyfriend,” Amelia whispered, so quietly Chiara probably wouldn’t have been able to hear it even if she were awake. “I think I just want you, and I think maybe I always have. I know you don’t feel the same way, and that’s okay, as long as I still get to be your friend.”

Chiara frowned in her sleep. “Amore,” she mumbled, but didn’t say anything else. Amelia had no idea who she was talking to. Probably not Salvatore, since that was just a summer romance she had claimed to be over now. Perhaps, a silly part of her mind whispered, she meant Amelia. Perhaps their practice meant something to her too, and she didn’t want a boyfriend either.

Amelia let herself bask in that delusion until the program she was only half-watching was over. Then she turned off the TV, closed her eyes, leaned into her best friend she loved more than she was supposed to, and fell asleep.

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caitlesshea · 4 years

Text

if you close your eyes

Happy (1 day) early birthday @themoonwhenimlost! I promised a Coffee Shop AU with a happy ending, so the happy ending will be posted on your actual birthday. Sorry not sorry? I love you!

Chapter 1/2

“Will you stop?”

Joe pauses his attempt at pacing a hole in the floor to glare at Booker.

“You’re just going to keep working yourself into a frenzy.” Booker tsks at him.

“I’m nervous.”

“You’ve done this before.” Booker points out unhelpfully.

And the thing is, is that Joe knows he has. He’s nine hundred and fifty four years old, and he died his first death nine hundred and twenty one years ago, leaving him forever thirty three.

His first death. Stabbed by a long sword at the hands of one Nicolò di Genova, but not before Joe was able to stab him first. Only, Joe gasped awake and Nicolò stayed dead.

Or so he thought. Thirty years practically to the day he sees Nicolò looking every bit the same, minus the ridiculous chain mail, working in Cairo.

At first he thought that Nicolò had survived that fateful day, like Joe had, but over time he came to realize that wasn’t the case. This Nicolò was not from Genova, even though his family hailed from there. He was born thirty years earlier.

Over the years they traveled together, became lovers, and when Nicolò had started to age, Joe told him his secret.

After his Nicolò passed, it became clear that history was repeating itself.

Ever since that second meeting, Joe will meet Nicolò one way or another, spend however long they have together in that lifetime, and then thirty years after he inevitably loses Nicolò, he’ll find him again.

Nicolò isn’t always the same. He’ll have different hair, different styles, even different names. But he always looks at Joe like he’s the sun.

Joe gets to fall in love with every version of Nicolò he meets.

Nicolò never remembers Joe or the lifetimes they’ve lived. Something Joe has spent his long life cursing the universe for.

Now, he’s pacing his apartment floor, thirty years after he last lost Nicolò to old age. He never knows why he gets an inkling to do something or go somewhere a year or two before the thirty years is up, but he always follows his gut and does what his heart tells him.

This time he knew he needed to be a university professor. Booker ever so kindly forging documents for him and now that he’s been at the university for two years he’s getting anxious.

With technology how it is he knows he could’ve looked up Nicolò. He knows he’ll have some variation of the name he had all those years ago when Joe was still Yusuf and Nicolò was still Nicolò.

But, he doesn’t want to. Well, that’s not true. But he feels like that’s cheating destiny.

So far they’ve always met organically. Joe never seeks him out and once he gets comfortable enough to let his guard down and share their past with Nicolò it always goes over as smoothly as it can.

“Too many times.” Joe answers Booker solemnly.

“Joe.”

“No. No, I’m being melancholic.”

Booker snorts but then softens. “Hey.” Booker stands and grabs Joe’s shoulders. “This is always the worst part but once you meet it’s like he never left.”

“I know. I know.” The thing is Joe does know. Even though Joe always goes through thirty year periods without Nicolò he always gets him back.

Reincarnation.

Or, that’s what Copley, Booker’s husband, had called it when he first became immortal and joined their family.

“Alright enough of this.” Booker walks over to the front door to put on his shoes. “I want coffee, we’re getting coffee.”

“I have coffee here.” Joe mutters weakly as he puts on his own shoes.

“I want to try that new place on Charlie.”

“Cup of Joe?” Joe groans even as he says it. He hates coffee shops close to the university because he always seems to run into students.

“Yes that one! I like the name.”

“I hate you.”

“Love you too, mon chéri.”

Joe laughs as Booker blows him a kiss as they make their way to the coffee shop.

“I’m telling James you said that.”

“You wound me, Yusuf.”

“You’ll get over it.” Joe mumbles as he pushes open the door to the coffee shop with an entirely un-unique name.

He’s about to let Booker walk in first when he turns and runs into someone. The moment they touch Joe knows it’s Nicolò.

Joe’s breath catches and they lock eyes, only Nicolò doesn’t have the usual look of wonder when they meet, no. This time he’s scowling.

“Scusi.” Nicolò looks at him and scurries away but not before shooting a glare back at Joe.

Booker shrugs and a woman wearing an apron behind the counter quickly apologizes for Nicolò’s behavior.

“Sorry. Nicky’s not normally so rude to customers.” The woman glares at Nicky and Joe smiles at the name.

Nicky.

He’s never gone by Nicky before but Joe immediately loves it.

“It’s alright. Maybe he didn’t see me.”

Booker snorts and Joe elbows him in the side.

“Maybe.” The woman looks at Nicky and turns back to them. “I’m Nile, what can I get for you?”

“I’ll have a large soy chai with extra whip cream.” Booker cuts in and Joe rolls his eyes at his drink choice.

“I’ll take a coffee please, two sugars.” Joe says and Booker elbows him now and points to a sign.

First coffee is free for customers named Joe.

“Oh! Free coffee?”

“Is your name Joe?” Nile asks as she pulls out two punch cards for them.

“Yes.” Joe answers at the same time Nicky says, “That’s not his name.”

“Nicky.” Nile hisses and turns around. “Frankie! Come get your boy.”

Another woman comes out from the back of the counter and takes one look at everyone and then grabs Nicky who starts muttering something that suspiciously sounds like his name is Yusuf in Italian.

Joe's staring stock still and Booker’s looking at him like he’s worried Joe’s going to start freaking out.

“I am so sorry. Coffee’s on the house. I promise he is not like this.”

Nile’s worried voice breaks him out of his spiraling thoughts.

“It’s okay. I’m a professor at the university so my real name is in my bio. It’s Joseph.”

“Presumably most people named Joe have a full name.” Nile mumbles and looks back to where Frankie is forcing Nicky to sit down.

“Anything else?” Nile asks as Joe stares at the bakery case.

“No thanks.” Joe answers and they take their coffees to go.

“That was weird.” Booker mutters when they get outside.

“You think?” Joe scrubs a hand over his face. “He’s never been hostile towards me.”

“Except the first time.” Booker points out unhelpfully.

Joe glares at him.

“C’mon, we’ll come back tomorrow after your class. Maybe he’ll be in a better mood.”

~~~

Turns out, Nicky is not in a better mood when they head back to Cup of Joe.

Nile shoves him into the back as they order and Joe’s heart sinks.

Booker looks like he’s about to say something when Joe spots baklava in the bakery case.

“Baklava?”

“Oh yes. Nicky loves it, loves to travel, so he bakes different versions from around the world. If you put in some money and guess the ingredients we’ll give you one on the house.”

Joe looks up at a sign that says:

Place your bets!

Booker snorts and Joe is transported to the last time Booker and Nicolò bet five hundred dollars on Andy guessing the flavors of an Eastern Turkey baklava.

Joe can hear Nicolò’s voice in his head.

“Five hundred, Booker?”

Joe turns to look at Booker and can tell he’s reliving the same memory.

“Alright, five dollars Joe can guess that one.” Booker points to one on the top shelf and places a five dollar bill in the bowl.

“Okay!” Nile scoops up the baklava and hands it to Joe on some parchment. Before he takes a bite, Nile's yelling for Nicky and Frankie.

“Nicky! Frankie! We’ve got a guesser!”

A crash sounds and then giggling and Joe’s breath catches at the sound of Nicky’s laughter.

“Honestly, introduce my wife to my best friend once.” Nile mumbles and Joe chuckles.

He understands that sentiment, the first time he introduced Nicolò to Andy, Quynh, and Booker, and every time thereafter, they’ve all become fast friends.

“Who’s guessing?” Nicky asks and then pauses when his eyes lock with Joe’s.

Nicky turns away too quickly for Joe to notice anything so he decides to take a bite of the baklava and moans at the flavor.

“Mmm. Hazelnut, not walnut.” Joe takes a bite as Booker starts counting the ingredients off on his fingers. Nile smiles at him.

“Black Sea.” Joe smiles and takes another bite. “Rose water, pomegranate.”

Joe can see Nicky tensing and Joe takes another bite.

“Mmm. Eastern Turkey.”

Joe opens his eyes in time to see Nile clapping and Booker smirking.

But Joe only has eyes for Nicky, who’s covering his face in his hands as he turns and heads back behind the counter. Frankie pats Nicky on the back and looks at Joe and Booker.

“You’re the first one to guess that flavor profile.” Then she turns on her heels to find Nicky.

“That was amazing!” Nile’s still smiling and Joe shrugs.

The flavors are familiar because it’s the last piece of baklava they bought Andy together, on their last trip to Turkey, the one Nicky bet Booker on.

Booker shrugs at him and orders another coffee.

“Do you want your free pastry now or rain check?”

Joe thinks about it for a moment. “Rain check.”

Nile nods and pulls off a coupon from a little booklet and hands Joe a coffee. He thanks her for both as he wanders over to the wall of books and smiles at the little stand to drop off used books.

“This was Nicky’s idea.” Nile says as she comes up beside him.

“The books?” Nicolò always did love books. Joe smiles at the warm memories.

“Mm. My wife and I wanted to open a coffee shop, and Nicky agreed to partner with us if he could bake and bring his books.”

Joe feels warm all over at the very Nicolò like thing that was to do. Nicolò was always reading and feeding people.

“These are his?” Joe looks over at the books.

“Some of them, yes. He thinks they should be shared with the world, which is why if you leave a book.” Nile points to the stand. “You can take a book.”

“I love that.” Joe says honestly.

“So did we.” The bell at the front door jingles to indicate a new customer and Nile smiles as she goes to help them.

“How very Nicolò.” Booker mutters as he walks up to the books.

“I know.” Joe stops suddenly when he sees them.

His books. His poetry. Nine of them, the very first volume One Thousand Sixty Nine is the only one missing.

“Joe.”

“He has my poetry books.” Joe whispers, looking at the volumes, all written under various cover names. Except the first one. Which hasn’t been in print for a long time, the remaining copies sitting in a trunk at his house.

“He has good taste.” Booker tries to joke but Joe isn’t convinced.

“He’s never.” Joe shakes his head. “He’s never had any of my things before.”

Booker turns back to look at where Nile and Nicky are whispering with a look of great concentration on his face.

“What?” Joe snaps and then immediately apologizes. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay. C’mon, you can come back tomorrow.”

“I don’t…”

“Joe.” Booker grabs his shoulders after they get outside. “I know this is different but when has any of this ever made sense?”

“No, you’re right.”

“I usually am.” Booker says smugly as Joe rolls his eyes.

“Don’t push it.”

~~~

Joe changes up his tactics the next day, heading to Cup of Joe without Booker.

He’s waited thirty years to see his Nicolò, hopefully he can manage a single conversation with Nicky that doesn’t involve glaring.

No such luck.

“Morning Nicky.” Joe says brightly and Nicky, ever the professional, sighs with his whole body and gets Joe’s coffee.

That he doesn’t even have to ask Joe what he likes to drink makes Joe smile.

“Did you want your free pastry?” Nicky asks him and Joe smiles at the first real words Nicky has spoken to him.

“Surprise me?” Joe smirks and some of the tension Nicky’s carrying eases.

Nicky picks a pastry that Joe finds vaguely familiar and when Joe takes a bite he actually can’t help the moan that escapes.

“Oh my god, this is my favorite.” Joe says around a mouthful of a desert he hasn’t had in years. His mother used to make a variation of this and Nicolò always replicated it when he would learn that fact.

“I know...I’m glad you like it.” Nicky curses in Italian and Joe can only look at him inquisitively.

Before Joe can say anything else another customer walks in taking Nicky’s attention.

Joe walks over to the bookcases and discretely pulls his own book out of his bag, the first volume that Nicky’s collection is missing. He places it on the Borrow a Book shelf and turns back to speak to Nicky.

“Ci vediamo domani.” Joe waves, pleased at the look of shock on Nicky’s face.

Joe’s about to go to class when he sees a text from Booker.

[Book: you gave him the book didn’t you?]

[Joe: how did you know that?]

[Joe: did you break into my place again?]

[Book: I have a key]

[Joe: I’m taking it back]

[Book: no you aren’t]

Joe sighs, Booker’s right. He isn’t taking his key back. They all have keys to each other’s place, privacy long since passed between all of them. It’s more enter at your own risk now. But still.

Joe wanted a little more time with his decision to essentially out himself as himself with this prickly version of Nicolò before everyone else knew about it.

And everyone else would know about it because Booker likes to gossip.

He pockets his phone, resigned to spending hours with ungrateful students before he can see Nicky again.

~~~

Joe thought when he walked into Cup of Joe the next morning he would be met with a shy smile and a ‘how did you find that edition?’ of his book that he dropped off.

What he did not expect was for Nicky to grab him by the arm and bring him right back outside in such a flurry that Joe nearly falls down.

Joe takes a moment to steady himself as he takes in the anger and fear on Nicky’s face.

It’s something Joe hasn’t seen in centuries, although this Nicky is already so different than the Nicolò’s of the past, from his longer hair curling around his ears, the beard around his face, and two gold earrings, but also the fact that he seems to remember is enough for Joe to know this time is different.

“Where did you find this?” Nicky scowls and shakes the book Joe dropped off the day before in front of his face.

“I…”

“Yusuf.” The sound of Joe’s real name jolts him back into awareness. “Don’t lie to me.”

“I had it in my collection. Thought I could complete yours.”

“Yusuf ibn Ibrahim ibn Muhammad ibn al-Kaysani.”

Joe sucks in a shaky breath.

“Tell me how I know that’s your name.” Nicky snarls. “Tell me.”

“How? I don’t - ”

“He’s the moon when I’m lost in darkness and warmth when I shiver in cold.”

“Nicky.”

“Tell me, Yusuf, how I didn’t have to read a single line in this damn book to know what it said.” Nicky shoves the book into Joe’s chest and he clutches it to him.

“I - ”

“Better yet. Tell me how I remember you writing this. In Malta, in our cottage by the sea with the windows open while I laid in bed. ‘Nicolò, habibi, stay just like that.’ ‘Are you sketching again, amore mio?’ ‘No, writing about our love.’ Because it is a memory, isn’t it?”

Joe feels like he’s been sucker punched.

“You...you remember?”

Nicky groans and grabs at his hair. Joe doesn’t know how this is possible. So many things in his life haven’t made since but Nicolò, even though they go years without each other, has always been his constant.

“Tell me how this is possible?”

“I can’t, I…” Joe feels like he can’t breathe and the incoming panic isn’t helping. “I have to go.”

Joe turns quickly and walks away from Nicky as fast as he can even though Nicky’s shouting after him.

“Yusuf!”

Joe feels like running but he’s already struggling to breathe so he doesn’t, thankful that Booker and Copley live close to the coffee shop.

He gets to their door and knocks, barely able to stand. He could use his key but that would require effort. He hears someone’s footsteps, Copley’s probably, and braces against the door as it opens.

“Joe? Why didn’t you use your key?” Copley asks him and then frowns at him.

“James.” Joe croaks out and Copley immediately knows that something is wrong because Joe has called him James exactly one time, and it was when Copley and Booker got married.

“Okay. C’mon. Can you walk?”

Joe nods and he can tell Copley is checking him over to see if he’s injured.

“‘M fine.”

Joe sinks down onto their plush couch as Copley calls for Booker.

“James? Was someone at the door?” Booker takes one look at what Joe is sure is the most pathetic he’s ever looked before Booker’s running over to him.

“Joe? What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” Booker’s frantically checking him over and Joe just shakes his head.

Joe looks up at the sound of more footsteps and cringes when he sees Andy and Quynh.

“What? You didn’t think we remembered what year it is?” Andy asks as she sits on the coffee table.

Joe gives her a weak smile as Booker grabs his hands to stop them from shaking.

Copley hands him a glass of water and Joe’s grateful for the cold, as he takes a couple of minutes to get his breathing under control.

When he’s finally able to take a true breath he looks up at the people he’s called family for longer than anyone should ever live and cries.

“He remembers.” Joe says brokenly.

“Who?”

“What does he remember?”

“What happened?”

“Nicky?”

Joe ignores the rapid fire questions from everyone and just looks at Booker.

“Shit.”

“Yeah.”

“Someone tell me what’s going on.” Andy uses her no nonsense voice and Joe cringes.

“He met Nicolò the other day.” Booker sighs after a moment when Joe stays silent.

Andy and Quynh gasp, which Joe supposes is nice, that Booker didn’t let the cat out of the bag until Joe could tell them himself.

“He goes by Nicky this time.” Joe smiles at the memory of finding out that Nicolò uses a nickname in this lifetime.

“He owns a coffee shop with two of his friends, it’s called Cup of Joe.”

Andy snorts and Quynh swats at her arm.

“He, well there were signs the last couple of days that he knew things about me, about us, that he shouldn't have. But I just assumed it was me overreacting.”

“I take it the book didn’t help?” Booker holds up the book to show everyone and Joe nods.

“I dropped it off yesterday and today before I even made it inside Nicky was grabbing me and bringing me outside to tell me he remembered every line of poetry.”

“Well, that would make sense if he read it yesterday.” Copley sits down next to Booker, who immediately grabs his hand.

“He didn’t just remember the poetry. He remembered what we were doing when I wrote it.”

“Gross.” Booker gags and Joe shoves him while everyone laughs.

“No. We were in Malta. He told me word for word the conversation we had.”

“And you remember it?” Andy asks and Joe glares at her.

“Of course I do.” Joe snaps and then reaches out to squeeze Andy’s hand in apology.

“What do you want to do?” Andy asks him and Joe shakes his head.

“No, it’s not just about me or - ”

“Joe. If he’s remembering you need to tell him. You always do anyway.” Booker says quietly.

“He was just so confused.” Joe puts his head in his hands, ashamed at himself for leaving Nicky there when he was clearly freaking out.

“Hey.” Booker grabs his shoulder and Joe looks at him.

“I just left him. He’s all alone and I left him, probably wondering what’s going on.”

“It’s too late now to do anything. You can go to the coffee shop tomorrow and see him.” Booker suggests as Copley stands to make dinner.

“Tomorrow.”

Joe wants to go now. Wants to comfort Nicky or at least be an outlet for his frustration. Joe’s never had to explain their history to Nicky with Nicky already having a head start.

“Fine. Copley better be making croque monsieurs.”

“I am!”

Booker laughs and claps him on the back and Joe nods, resolute to fix this, so he doesn’t lose Nicky this lifetime.

~~~

Joe shows up at Cup of Joe right as it’s opening, a small bushel of lavender, Nicolò’s favorite, in his right hand, and his poetry book in his left.

Nile takes one look at him when he gets to the counter and scowls.

Joe takes a step back and holds his hands up. Nile notices the lavender and softens immediately.

“Is that for Nicky?”

“Yeah.” Joe swallows. “How is he?”

“He’s...been better.”

Joe nods and looks to the side, wondering just how much Nicky disclosed to his friends. They’ve had mortal friends throughout the years, if only because Nicky was mortal as well. A few they’d let in on their secrets but not in a long time.

Nile sighs loudly and he turns his attention back to her.

“Look. I don’t know what happened between you two, but he was pretty shaken up yesterday.”

“I didn’t…” At Nile’s scowl, Joe amends his statement. “It was a misunderstanding. I have no intention of hurting him again.”

Nile takes a moment, sizes him up, and must come to some conclusion that he’s telling the truth because she nods and hands him a brown paper bag and a to go cup.

“What’s this?”

“His favorites.”

Joe smells the bag and smiles. “Vanilla latte and blueberry scone.”

Nile smiles at him and Joe’s thankful she doesn’t ask how he knows that.

“He lives upstairs. That.” She nods to the bag. “Will let him know I sent you.”

“Thank you, Nile.”

“Don’t make me regret this!” Nile shouts after him as he goes to leave.

“I won’t!”

Joe finds the stairs leading to the second floor and smiles at the hanging plants and welcome mat that says ciao at the front door.

Nicky opens the door before Joe even knocks, almost like he was expecting Joe to stop by.

Joe smiles and holds up his offerings. “Hi. I think we should talk?”

Nicky holds the door open further so Joe can walk inside and as he takes a look around he smiles warmly at the apartment that is so very Nicky.

“Nile gave me these.” Joe hands over the coffee and scone. “And I brought you these.”

Nicky takes the lavender and brings it to his nose to smell. He smiles a little, even though it’s sad.

“I guess I don’t have to tell you they’re my favorite, do I?”

“I’d love to learn everything about you.” Joe blurts out instead of the answer Nicky really wants.

Nicky takes that for what it is as he puts the lavender in a vase and then opens the brown paper bag and moans when he sees the scone.

Joe chuckles. “You like your own baking that much?”

Nicky looks at him oddly and then shakes his head as he takes a bite. “I don’t make these, Frankie does.”

Joe pauses and then smiles as he remembers that he always made Nicolò scones, an old family recipe that puts…

“Brown sugar in the batter.” Nicky finishes and Joe realizes that he said the last part out loud.

Joe smiles, sheepish, and holds up the book instead.

“I wanted you to have this.”

“Why?”

“Well, frankly, it’s yours.”

Nicky nods and hands Joe a glass of water and Joe is grateful for something to do with his hands as he waits for Nicky to answer.

Joe hands it to Nicky who runs his hands over the cover like it’s something special and precious.

“This was the only one I couldn’t find. The others, they’re not a true collection, different authors.” Nicky grins. “But I knew they were all by the same person.”

“Did you?”

“Know it was you before the other day?”

Joe nods, wondering if Nicky’s been remembering his past lives his entire life.

“No. And before you ask I didn’t start...uhh, the, uhh, un riccardo, how do you say in English?”

“Memory.”

“Right, the memories didn’t start until we met the other day.”

“When we touched?” Joe remembers the jolt he felt, unfamiliar and familiar at the same time.

“Sì.”

“I’ve had these feelings my whole life, inklings, I think. Like with the books, the scones, things like that, but never actual memories before.”

Joe looks around the apartment and notices the tapestries and rugs that match the ones they have in their home in Malta. The artwork on the walls, reproductions of both Booker’s and Joe’s art. The same nine books of Joe’s that he has in the coffee shop. Little pieces of their lives together and Nicky had no idea.

“It’s all familiar to you?” Nicky asks him quietly and Joe nods.

“Will you tell me about it?”

“About what?”

“Our life...lives.”

Joe looks shocked for a moment. “I thought you?”

“I want to hear it from you, if you’re willing?”

“Yes. Yes of course.” Joe smiles, pleased that Nicky’s willing to hear him out. “Where do you want me to start?”

“The beginning.”

“It’s quite a long story. I’ve been alive a long time.”

“I’d like to hear it. I need to...make sense of everything.” Nicky points to his head and Joe smiles.

“Alright. I’m pretty sure you killed me during the Crusades.”

Nicky laughs and Joe can’t help it, he laughs too. A thought occurs to Joe and he gasps.

“Is that why you were so cold to me when we first met?”

Nicky’s cheeks turn a bright pink as he ducks his head and Joe warms at the sight.

“I didn’t know what was happening. I was confused. Seeing things that couldn’t have been real, in languages I didn’t know I knew.” Nicky shrugs.

“You know I don’t blame you, right? We’ve long since worked it out.”

Nicky gasps and Joe’s glad that he can read this version of Nicky.

“The love of my life was of the people I’ve been taught to hate.” Nicky recites and then shakes his head and Joe steps closer, raises his hand to telegraph his movements.

Nicky nods and Joe squeezes his hand, gasps as the buzzing returns but then settles.

“I love you.”

“You don’t know me.”

“You’re right, I don’t know this version of you, but I know your heart. I know the pain you still feel about what happened, but I’m telling you, the Nicolò I love has grown to realize the mistakes he made when he marched on Jerusalem.”

Nicky squeezes his hand before he steps back and Joe lets him go, stepping back a little himself.

“I’ll make you a deal. I’ll tell you about our lives together, and you tell me about you.”

“You want to know about me?”

“I want to know everything.”

Nicky smiles and turns to put on a kettle. Joe warms at the thought that Nicky still loves tea even though he owns a coffee shop.

“Chamomile? I think we’ll be up a while.”

Joe nods and takes a sip of the tea when it’s done, smiling when he realizes it’s just the way he likes it.

Joe walks over the couch and settles with a blanket as he gestures for Nicky to join him. Nicky chuckles softly and goes to sit down.

Joe immediately shares the blanket as they settle in.

“I think I’d rather hear about you first, especially if you remember a lot of our lives.”

“I’m not that interesting.”

“Nicolò.” Joe waits until Nicky looks at him. “You are the most interesting person to me, always.”

Nicky blushes again and Joe’s enamored. It doesn’t matter how long it takes, he can’t wait to learn everything about this Nicky.

~~~

When he leaves Nicky’s apartment the next morning, he’s smiling from ear to ear, with a spring in his step, even though he didn’t sleep.

They spent the rest of the day and all night talking, trading story after story. He knows they didn’t learn everything but he feels closer to Nicky than he ever has before, not realizing he was missing a partner that just knew things about him.

He also managed to get Nicky’s number and plans for an actual date tomorrow night, since all they ended up eating was leftovers.

He’s giddy with the thought of dating Nicky. Of learning about all of the little things that make this Nicky decidedly his own.

Joe doesn’t know how he does it but he makes it through all of his lectures and office hours. He even makes it through dinner with the family, overjoyed to tell them about his night and plans for the next day.

He wakes up happier than ever, eager for the day to end so he can take Nicky out on their date.

“I’ve never seen you like this.” Booker comments as they make their way to Cup of Joe the next morning.

“It’s all so new, we’ve never dated like this before.”

“You’ve dated.”

“But not like this. Not where he knows.” Joe knows he’s practically bouncing as they walk down the street, smiling from ear to ear.

Booker chuckles and he shoves his brother lightly when he sees Nicky, Nile, and Frankie setting up their patio outside the coffee shop.

Joe also knows he has a besotted look on his face because Booker gags and then groans.

“Oh god, it’s like that already?”

“I don’t know what you mean.” Joe says innocently and Booker smiles.

“It’s good to see you like this, brother.”

Joe smiles warmly at Booker before he looks back at the trio outside the coffee shop. They’re just crossing the street and he calls out for Nicky.

“Nicolò!”

But just as Nicky turns to smile at him, a car comes barreling down the road, completely out of control, and Joe can only watch in horror as the car hits the curb right in front of the coffee shop, flipping and careening right into the patio in a sickening crunch.

“Nicolò!” Joe screams as others nearby scream and he and Booker run towards the wreckage.

“Nicolò!” Joe slides to where Nicky was standing and sees him lying lifeless on the patio. He briefly touches Nicky’s forehead and looks around and sees Nile and Frankie lying at unnatural angles.

Nicky’s body is shielding them like he tried to push them out of the way.

“Nicolò.” Joe croaks as Booker tries to pull him away.

“No. No!”

“Joe. We have to call for help.”

“I can’t leave him!”

“Joe. He’s gone.”

“No! No!” Joe sobs as he cradles Nicky’s head. “No.”

“Yusuf.”

“No.” Joe knows he’s not breathing right, the hiccuping sobs making it harder to think.

“Nicolò, destati.” Joe sobs as he brushes Nicky’s shoulder softly.

“Destati.”

#the old guard #joe x nicky #reincarnation au #mentions of car accident #canon temporary character death

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space--cadet-glow · 3 years

Text

Theory: Librari's Feather and Map in "The Minish Cap" Manga

So, in-game, Librari has a feather. There's not really a mention of this feather; he just has it. However, in the manga, it's explained that he took a feather from his fallen opponent: a giant (to him) cucco.

But, here's where it gets weird. The Feather is then given to Link-- as a pin holding Librari's Map together. That's fine (and quite cute), until...

The Feather is suddenly able to move on its own and draw another side to Librari's (now, Link's) Map... Then the Feather seemingly ANSWERS him when Link thanks it and Librari.

This either implies that the Feather is sentient or Librari is somehow communicating through the Feather. Neither option makes sense. Even the option that Link is able to understand Feather because of the Jabber Nut possibly working for ALL languages doesn't fair much better, either, since it partially goes against my theory that the Jabber Nut only works for Link when he's Minish-sized (but honestly sounds like the best possibility)...

But, that's not the worst part. The worst part is the panel before it. The English version...

...Swears that this Map is of Hyrule Castle. Which makes no sense for a couple of reasons. First, Link and Ezlo are in the Palace of Winds right now, so why would they need a Map of Hyrule Castle? Second, Link has known Zelda since childhood. He should know Hyrule Castle like the back of his hand. And THIRD...

...THIS ISN'T EVEN WHAT HE SAYS IN THE GERMAN VERSION.

"This is the Map... of the Palace?!"

The GERMAN version makes it clear that the Map is supposed to be for the Palace of Winds. You want to know WHY it's very clearly the Palace of Winds and NOT Hyrule Castle? Well, German exclusively calls it the „Palast des Windes". Hyrule Castle in German is „Schloss Hyrule". Two different words for "Palace" and "Castle".

So, I wondered. Did English just pull "Hyrule Castle" out of nowhere, or was it just a mistranslation? Did the original Japanese one use a word that meant both "Castle" and "Palace"? And the answer...

...Is no.

"This is the Map of the inside of the Palace!"

Hyrule Castle, in Japanese, is typically "Hairaru-jou" (although, in the first panel, it's the alternate "O-shiro"/"O-jou". The Palace of Winds, meanwhile, is "Kaze no Kyuuden". And the panel in-question uses "Kyuuden", meaning that the Map is for the Palace of Winds and not Hyrule Castle no matter how you look at it.

So, I have no idea how English came up with "Hyrule Castle" at all. All that I know is that every OTHER translation I have caught this error, too.

French:

"Looks like a Plan/Map! That of the Dungeon?"

Spanish:

"This is the Map of the Palace of Winds?"

Italian:

"It's a Map of the room!"

Yup. Italian. The one translation that translated off of the English version caught the error, too. That's hilarious.

So, in other words... Feather is still unexplained, but the Map is. Whoops.

#the bard of light rants #vaati #minish cap #the minish cap #the legend of zelda #theory #translation #German #japanese #palace of winds #Ezlo #tloz link #lol what do i tag this as

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nettlestonenell · 4 years

Photo

Armie Hammer wants a sequel to The Man From U.N.C.L.E.—shouldn’t you?

This post is a long time in coming, Gentle Readers and @jammeke, but now, though it might be here, before your very eyes, to think it will be well-laid out would be a mistake. It’s set to be just about as messy as Ilya’s misplaced loyalties and murky motivations.

How dare!

I probably first watched this film well over a year ago (courtesy @jammeke posting things about it). I used Sling OnDemand (I think on TNT). In the ensuing viewings I also watched it in that way, but as I was sitting down for a fourth(?) viewing, it kept coming to me that I was tired of watching it with commercials I couldn’t skip, and I had a sneaking suspicion that it had been edited for time and I was missing out on scenes. [pointless aside: I was also watching the film in chunks, and never as a whole]

Where is she now? What’s the time stamp? How far along did she get? Are you shagging the hotel hostess yet?

So, I, uh, set out to buy it on DVD—without any luck! In the sense that copies I could find cost more (w/ shipping) than buying it to stream. So, I bought it to stream on Amazon. Do I regret my choice, Gentle Readers? No, no I don’t. I do regret burden of knowledge in learning that TNT was already playing the entirety of the film. That was a hard pill to swallow.

Nope, I’ve looked. That’s absolutely everything. Nothing additional lurking around here...

So here it is, as it is, @jammeke, “My Notes on The Man from U.N.C.L.E.”

Look, I don’t know what this film is. I probably can’t fully articulate its appeal. Or maybe I can--certainly after transcribing four page I’ve tried. Number One thing to know about me and fiction/films is that a top draw for me is seeing something out of the ordinary, such as beautiful locations, a historical era, delicious costumes. There are times, frankly, this can trump weak story and undefined character for me. (The best films, of course, combine all three) Certainly, The Man... delivers in the delight of the eyes. Additionally, I must confess that growing up as a person older than @reblogginhood but younger than Miss Fisher, so much of what was on TV was essentially reruns of this film’s iconic Look(tm). So, when I see women dressed like Gaby I am just another three-to-seven-year-old overcome with the drop dead glamour of it all.

Darling, tell me how you really feel...

Some questions I have:

· IS Armie Hammer a hulk of a man? Everyone in this film seems to think so, yet he always tracks to me as trim (rather than hulking)

· Why translate via captions some Russian speaking, but not all?

· IS Napoleon’s backstory directly cribbed from USA’s White Collar?

· DOES Gaby have a German accent?

· Does Ilya get preternaturally attached to all the people he’s ordered to look after? Also, what is his bonding rate with kittens?

Sorry, wrong iteration.

· If Lady Villain knows the lens is wrong—if her technical understanding is that in-depth--does she really need Gaby’s dad to make the bomb?

· How old was Gaby during the war?

· What happens when Ilya gets a NEW puppy assigned to him? (please let this be addressed in film #2)

Hooray for:

· That bathroom fight! *all the Burn Notice feels!

· Gaby is her own lady, and chooses sides as necessary—not always unilateral in her support for either male character. Case in point: she sides with Ilya over the clothes, and Napoleon over the incident of the wallet.

· That delicious (speaking as Rusty, here) Ocean’s 11-stylized action. It’s pretty, so I’m not bored with it. Sometimes a sandwiched montage gets shown, so I’m REALLY not bored. I’ve got 18 tiny moving boxes of things to look at!

· Pinkie rings. There, you’ve told me everything I need to know about that character.

· Solo in a beret. English has not yet found a word for the feeling it evoked in this viewer. Somewhere between ‘precious’ and ‘oh, no’.

See, there? Now you’ve felt it too.

· Goggles! All the accessories! Dune Buggies! (I mean, that’s what I’m calling Napoleon’s chase-scene ride)

Things I adore:

· It seems (after some research) that more than a few folks view Gaby as a third wheel, and though she’s not exactly a Princess Leia commandeering her own rescue and exuding competence and a deserved take-charge-attitude at every corner, she IS a foci for both male characters (though romantically it would seem only for one), just as Ilya is a foci for both her and Napoleon [no one seems to worry about Napoleon, though they should--film #2, anyone?]

· Mechanic Gaby not needing a beauty makeover, or being dragged into one. She gets some nice clothes, but it’s never suggested that she’s not attractive or acceptable before putting them on, and I respect, nay, embrace it.

Oh, my heart. She’s still not as tall as them!

· Ilya, drab pigeon Ilya, knowing fashion

· Oh man, don’t even get me started on the power of the statement, “it doesn’t have to match”

· You knew it was coming on this sublist: the wrestle-fight. I mean, c’mon. Poor little Gaby, locked behind the Iron Curtain, living a life of always being watched. She’s in the swankest hotel (I mean, Napoleon chose it, so we can be sure it’s swank with an E). She’s trying to celebrate her freedom, her liberation. She’s playing verboten music, she’s drinking to excess. Girl wants—and deserves—a party. And Ilya is…not built for that (that he knows of). For some fun, just imagine if she had been given Napoleon to room with instead.

o I will say that this scene, and some of their other interactions have what I would call early (non-sibling) Luke and Leia energy. Ilya seems to have moments of being struck by Gaby in a way Luke is struck by Leia in the early part of the trilogy. When Leia takes charge, and Luke accepts it. When Leia does something incredible, and Luke is left open-mouthed. *no, I don’t see OT Star Wars in everything. Shut up.

· “He fixed the glitch.”

· Again, shout-out to the non-action action.

· “I left my jacket in there.”

· The whole race to rescue Gaby I am in love with beyond words. [I have noted it as “Crazy Jeep Drive with Warhead!”] Probably b/c it comes across as totally egalitarian. Both men want her rescued. They’re no longer in competition. It’s just as important to Napoleon as it is to Ilya to catch up to her. Also, it is bonkers, like some sort of X-games version of a commercial for the vehicles they’re driving. And screaming Willie Scott does not make an appearance.

Someone says “winkle” out.

· Look! Another note about the screen divisions and how I love it, shout-outs to the original Steve McQueen The Thomas Crown Affair (a contemporary of when this movie is meant to be set), and TV’s 24.

Things that get a great, big NOPE:

· Jerrod Harris: you’ve been in so much streamable content in the last decade I can’t hate you, but frankly, you’re terrible here—unless you’re supposed to be giving a mannered, not-campy-enough-to-be-enjoyable performance here. Your American English puts me in the mind of Alex Hawaii 5-0′Loughlin where it feels you’re concentrating so hard on your accent that you fail to convince anyone that you’re a harried, over-worked and exasperated spy handler. Your performance is at odds with every bit of dialogue you’re given to say.

· That awful, mishandled title that doesn’t even connect to the film until the final moments (a sequel set-up, for sure)

· Look, you don’t introduce Hugh Grant casually mid-way through your film in a throwaway appearance. I mean, he’s HUGH GRANT we all know something’s up now.

· This is not exactly a great big NOPE, b/c I love a flat cap, Tommy Shelby—but I feel like a less tall man with a far rounder face in a flat cap would track more as Russian to me that AH does. To me, he just looks like he’s about to go golfing.

Over par? Unacceptable!

· Is Victoria a British-accented Italian? A British woman who married—what? Gaby’s uncle isn’t Italian!? An Italian who went to school in Britain? My head hurts. Also, is her hair meant to be unconvincingly bleached?

Other commentary:

· Napoleon’s adult ne’er-do-well backstory is so far from being emotionally equivalent to Ilya’s childhood trauma [and his enslavement to the USSR] it seems bestial when he calls it out on multiple occasions. Badly done, Solo.

· Gaby is the film’s key (sorry, Buffy fans). Everyone is connected to her. Yes, she could have been given a bit more on the character front, but I don’t see her as as much of a flaw in the film as some others/reviewers seem to.

· Look, essentially (and not very nuanced-ly), Ilya is a stalker. I think the film goes a certain distance in establishing that his early behavior toward Gaby is not normal, but concurrently it does not truly call him out on it. He’s essentially viewed as an odd-duck, sure, but not a true threat to her (should she not reciprocate or tolerate his intensity toward her). I think I might be able to cite his behavior when Gaby comes on to him (that he doesn’t jump at a chance with her) that maybe he’s given a little more nuance than a straight-on stalker, and it helps that he and Napoleon never get into a pissing match over Gaby’s person, only over her new clothes. But overall the film has to walk a fine line (and the jury is still out on how successful it is, I’d say) between playing Ilya’s laser-like attention to Gaby for its humor, and calling it out for the unsettling, threatening behavior it is.

· Honestly, it wasn’t until I engaged the Closed Captioning that I understood Napoleon was calling Ilya the ‘Red Peril’. So, that was nearly three viewings in.

· I give the screen credits A+, on both ends. Not to mention the end credits are actually INTERESTING with lots to see and learn! (Certainly we learn more about HG in them than we do at any time during the film)

Things I would have liked:

· More of fish-out-of-the-Iron-Curtain Gaby moments

· A better dichotomy shown of East vs. West Berlin/Germany. There’s nothing easy either visually or otherwise to distinguish the two.

· HC being given a more specific American accent (from an actual locality). This, for an American viewer, works better than the flat, unlocated American accent many a British actor will bust out. *Mind you, HC does a generally good job, but he fails utterly on both “Immediate” which he pronounces at least twice as “immeedeejt” [rather than imm-E-deeot] and “Nazi” as “NAHT-zee” [rather than “NOT-zee”]. And let’s not get started on that late in the film use of ‘earnt’, a word that—well, it’s just not in the American English twentieth century lexicon.

· C’mon. You gotta tease the Hugh Grant more.

· Solo is a blank before the war. I’ve read thoughts on the film calling out Gaby as the blank character, but they’re wrong. Solo is the blank. He’s the ‘made’ man, his identity seemingly assembled during the war and after. For example, he doesn’t go into the war a thief, nor (it would seem) a particularly educated or urbane individual. Now THAT’s a juicy backstory I’d love to learn about, perhaps in film #2--or #3? What creates a Napoleon Solo? What would he be doing if he weren’t on the government’s leash/incarcerated? Is anyone left caring about him back wherever he calls home? I mean, who doesn’t love a gender-flipped 60s-era Holly Golightly backstory? [And yes, I would love there to be an ex-wife or even a current wife mixed up in his origins as well—Guy Ritchie, call me!]

Notes I have that I’m not sure if they still make sense to me:

· Only mom calls me Napoleon (do he say it ‘mum’?) Is he a secret Canadian?

· Solo’s torture, 1st view recall Napoleon’s childhood? *I think this means that after watching the first time I somehow erroneously believed that during the torture Napoleon’s childhood was a topic gone over. This was wrong. HOWEVER, this would have made far more story-sense than the backstory we’re given on an easily disposeable villain.

· “Even the average Russian agent. You’re special.” ?

· Uncle is Baddie (*so glad I made this note to myself)

· Ilya’s dad IS an embarrassment. I’m not sure what genius commentary I had in my mind, here. Perhaps that Ilya himself is embarrassed of him? Not just Ilya’s handler’s? [Also, aside: Napoleon totally slut-shames Ilya’s mom, which is the doublest of double standards from ‘I got myself the biggest and most ornate suite b/c I-wanted-plenty-of-space-for-my-random-seductions’ and I really wish Ilya had thrown that back in his face] *yes, of course I know that Ilya and Napoleon would not likely equate a wife/mother’s sexual exploits with that of Solo’s, but let’s be honest, this film tweaks the nose of (I won’t say reverses, it doesn’t go that far) plenty of tropes and gender expectations, and this certainly seems like a missed opportunity to call Solo on the carpet (which I hope film #2 does far more)

Things I wrote down so long ago I don’t recall what they mean:

· CC-save

In conclusion:

What does film #2 look like? What title does it get? Will the Peter/Neil White Collar dynamic continue to grow? *note that I have no confidence a second film will ever come to pass...

In the end, all I know is, “It didn't help when American Tom Cruise, who was slated to play U.S. spy Napoleon Solo, dropped out, prompting the casting of Cavill (who had previously read for the Russian role).“ I would not have watched that film.

#tmfu #tmfu 2015 #ilya kuryakin #napoleon solo #gaby teller #henry cavill #armie hammer #alicia vikander #the man from uncle 2015 #the man from u.n.c.l.e.#the man from uncle #i don't know what this film's tags are meant to be to keep it from popping up in the TV series searches Sorry

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