#i know this is the depression and the anxiety and the possible autism i'm well aware

[xxlovelynovaxx]

Lost a friend today because he refused to listen about how harmful the concept of narcissistic abuse is, despite knowing I have NPD and that I'm a victim of the exact same kind of abuse he was (literally, he described my experience down to the letter).

He was one of my and my partner's closest friends, so today has been really rough.

Please listen to people with NPD about how this harms us. We're neurodivergent people with a largely traumagenic disorder, usually from abuse and/or neglect. We're not monsters, predisposed towards an abusive nature, or capable of a unique kind of abuse. We're just people who struggle with self-esteem because we base our ego primarily on our perception of what others think of us.

We're not saying this can never influence toxic behaviors, we're just pointing out that that's not more true of our disorder any more than any other health condition, from autism and ADHD to OCD to PTSD to addiction to eating disorders to bipolar to depression to anxiety.

We're also not trying to take language from other abuse victims. We're asking you to not be ableist (a form a structured societal abuse) towards other abuse victims. Call it what it is: emotional abuse. Emotional abuse is such a wider category than people realize, and it's important to talk about that. I hear what people are saying when they say they're wanting to describe a specific subtype of emotional abuse, so let's make words for that!

Manipulative abuse, coercive abuse, gaslighting abuse, guilt-tripping abuse, even safety abuse - that last for when people use their own mental health state and threaten self harm or suicide to get their way.

These can all be factors in emotional abuse - what's commonly described as narc abuse is what's standard for emotional abuse, involving a wide variety of tactics to exert control in the absence of physical or sexual abuse - which also can and usually are partly emotional in nature as well.

I'd love to open a conversation about terms that better describe what we went through! I'm just asking that we don't use the ones that further demonize a badly misunderstood disorder, and that people be willing to recognize that their understanding of it is based on a LOT of misinformation.

Just, please, listen to us. Be willing to be open-minded. We aren't your abusers, and we know that you deserved better and deserve a chance to heal to the fullest extent possible. We do too. Please, help make a safe space for us all to do so together.

#NPD #cw narc abuse mention

[ravenshavenn]

Just wanted to say congrats on the followers, and I head canon Severus as autistic too. Sometimes I bring it out more in some stories than in others, but I do think it works and he was based off of a man who was on the autism spectrum too. Also, I'm autistic so let him be autistic. So, a question for you. How do you think Severus deals with having an autistic meltdown? Does he find a private place to let it all go? Does he just ward it off and keep it in with Occlumency? Something else?

Oh, and I thought of another canon thing that could support his autism. Autistic people often have trouble sleeping, and we see him prowling the corridors at night sometimes. Maybe his sleeping issues are related to his autism. Man hasn't heard of melatonin, or it just doesn't work for him. (It didn't for me).

Of course, sleeping problems could also be from PTSD/hyper vigilance which I also see him as having. Also, what is a secret stim that he does in private? And last question, sorry, but do you head canon Snape as smoking? It's a popular head canon and I'm asking because, if you do think he smokes, do you think smoking could count as a stim? :D

Snape and autism

Hi! Thank you so much for your comment its nice to meet someone else who's autistic and in the fandom! We're not alone lol :D and I've tried my best to add to the headcanons bellow, I hope you enjoy! :)

meltdowns - I think he'd unfortunately be a bit ashamed of them choosing to use his occlumency to mask until he could reach a quiet, dark corner somewhere that he could sooth himself but if he was unable to leave a situation for example becoming overstimulated during a meeting he would become noticeably agitated, snapping at anyone who dared to try and talk to him and leaving as soon as he possibly could hurrying away to let his guard down somewhere private

sleep - I agree I could definitely see his autism effecting his sleep patterns the dark circles under his eyes are DEEP I can imagine him trying to brew something for himself to help but giving up after it doesn't work and instead he just wanders the castle enjoying the dark and the silence. Although I can also see his brewing and dark magic research keeping him awake with the need to spend time on his special interests distracting him until morning and he realizes he has no time to rest, accidently pulling an all nighter several times a week just to have time to focus on his various hyperfixations or projects that he has on the go

However, I also agree that he definitely has other issues going on he could definitely have PTSD or depression (or both) meaning that he struggles to sleep and stays awake trying to keep himself calm and away from the negative thoughts swirling around in his head

smoking - I have thought about Severus smoking because I've seen lots of amazing fanart of it and it does pop up in fanfiction every now and again but I'm honestly not sure if I think he would or not

Personally, due to my own sensory issues I'm not a fan of smoking so if I was to selfishly headcanon him I'd have to say that he wouldn't and that possibly living in the time that he did it was popular and so Tobias smoked heavily leading to Severus hating it

Although, with his various mental health issues and it still being the social norm at the time I can definitely imagine him smoking and I can certainly see it being a stim, even though I don't smoke personally I know several others with autism who find the experience comforting and it can also help with anxiety as well therefore, easing Severus's nerves during his days as a spy

stims - Severus definitely tries to keep his stimming in public to a minimum by only rubbing his hands together but in private he feels more comfortable to express himself, I can imagine him grumbling to himself for comfort and making little sounds as he brews, bouncing on his toes when he walks about and tapping on nearby surfaces, also potentially biting his nails? Although he definitely doesn't acknowledge any of this as stimming and puts it down to his "nerves" while being a spy and believes he's just "fidgeting" as that's what he was told in his childhood repeatedly whenever someone saw him stimming

#autistic snape #severus snape #pro snape #snape #snape fandom #pro severus snape #professor severus snape #professor snape #snape community #snape au #snape content #severus snape headcanon #snape headcanon

[disabledunitypunk]

A post reading: Shout out to people who are sleepy guys because they are physically disabled!!!! Life is a game and we are winning sleepiest guys on earth ever. /Pained but light hearted

Also shout out to people who are just dead fucking tired because of their disability. Not everything needs to be a cute little joke, you still deserve recognition <3

(This post is about physical disability do not derail)

.

This post was PERFECT... until that last line.

Are you aware that significant and even extreme chronic fatigue are HALLMARK symptoms of MANY mental illnesses, to the point that for many they are part of the DIAGNOSTIC CRITERIA?

Are you aware some of us can't TELL if the chronic fatigue is because of the anxiety, depression, autism, ADHD, schizophrenia, etc etc ad nauseum, or the POTS, fibromyalgia, MCAS, severe vitamin B12/d deficiencies, gut health/absorption issues, or malnutrition secondary to those others...

Are you aware that some of us also CAN tell that in fact it's BOTH, COMPOUNDING each other?!?! That our fatigue would be lessened if we had "only" physical or "only" psychiatric disability.

Are you aware that calling it DERAILING for mentally ill physically disabled people to DARE to talk about their experiences is VILE behavior?

ARE YOU?!?!

Y'all talk about how cripplepunk is about being angry, about not taking shit from anyone about your physical symptoms of your disabilities.

Well I'm fucking furious. You're massively fucking ableist for calling it derailing to take something that is a predominant symptom of ALL disabilities and to say it's "derailing" to talk about anything other than YOUR disabilities because it's all about YOU YOU YOU.

You're literally derailing discussions of a near-universal disability symptom because something being about someone other than you, who has a different experience of their disabilities than you, who is possibly as physically disabled by their neurological and neurochemical conditions than you are by your physical ones in the exact same way - oh but that's not possible, right, because it's not the way YOU experience it.

Just shut UP. Just leave off that last fucking line and turn off reblogs if you're so fucking autocentric that you can't acknowledge experiences other than yours EXIST.

It's not DERAILING that I can't separate my mental illness fatigue and physical illness fatigue, and that in fact they combine into something larger than the sum of their parts, that multiply disabled people EXIST. That we're refusing to toe the party line and be good little crips within the community, because for all you talk big game about standing up to abled people, you're too afraid to tell other disabled bullies (or admit to yourself) how disabling your own mental illnesses are because of how they treat those of us who do.

Or you're just one of the petty bullies who can't understand their experiences are not universal.

Either way, you know how they treat us, because you've facilitated it. Bully or coward, you need to fucking STOP treating other disabled people like they're your fucking oppressors, like we have any fucking systemic power over you. We're over here being locked up and killed by police and killing ourselves over the lack of power with have and specifically the way our autonomy is TAKEN from us, and y'all have the nerve to accuse people who are as or more PHYSICALLY crippled than you of "derailing" by acknowledging our own disabilities.

Fuck off. You're not punk, you're pathetic. You're like that gay republican that was surprised when his party turned on him. You're helping leopards feast on faces by cannibalizing your own, then being shocked when you feel teeth start to break your own skin.

Like sorry, spikes and stickers telling abled people to fuck off on your mobility aid doesn't make you punk, in the same way that being a "mean lesbian/bisexual" isn't activism, it's just being an asshole. You actually gotta walk the walk, and you can't even talk the talk. Punk includes community building, it includes coalition building, it includes fighting AGAINST ableism, not fucking for it.

Might as well start calling yourselves cripplefash, because that punk mask you wear is coming off.

(Userbox with combined wheelchair/rainbow infinity symbol in black and white, says "This user is PHYSICALLY DISABLED *and* neurodivergent.")

Oh, and btw. If you're wondering why this is tagged unitypunk. Paradox of intolerance, assholes. We don't tolerate ableism in disabled spaces. Not against neurodivergent physically disabled folks, not against solely neurodivergent folks, and certainly not excluding ANYONE from a primary symptom of their disability based on having the "wrong" diagnosis. That's the kind of behavior I'd expect of ableist DOCTORS, not our own fucking community.

You know how the queer community says "don't be a fucking cop"? Don't be a fucking doc. Pieces of shit.

#angry #unitypunk #exclusion

[aspd-culture]

Hey this is kind of a silly question but I figured I'd ask it anyway. I know pwASPD can feel fear but what are the limitations of that? This is mostly about myself because I'm questioning if I have ASPD and I'm really afraid of heights, in my case I think it has more to do with a lack of control than anything else but I'm not sure. Anyway I hope your well.

No worries, with a disorder with this little legitimate, unbiased research, I don't know that many silly questions exist, and yours is definitely legitimate.

In general, I would say there is not a cap to how much/how intense fear can be for someone with ASPD, any more than there is for anyone else. In fact, because pwASPD nearly always have it caused by some amount of trauma, and PTSD causes responses like anxiety and hypervigilance, I'd argue many pwASPD may feel fear more frequently and more intensely than untraumatized prosocials.

PwASPD can have blunted emotions, but that isn't always the case, and when it is, which emotions are blunted is entirely individual. For me, the main emotions that were blunted are sadness (the genuine, not depression one), contentedness, and affection. All 3 of these are emotions I *do* feel, but to a lower degree than most. They become extremely blunted during flares to the point where it feels as though I am incapable of feeling them, and then they come back.

I've heard of pwASPD who feel all "negative" emptions very intensely with "positive" ones being blunted, and I've heard the opposite where they almost feel numbed to fear, sadness, etc. because those are their natural state of being and have been for so many years, but when they are given genuine reason to feel happy/excited/etc. they feel that very, very intensely. Any combination thereof is possible, and it's also common for a pwASPD to not deal with any emotional blunting or nearly all emotions blunted.

The only emotions I've seen any contention about being able to be blunted are anger and its cousins (jealousy, frustration, etc.) and boredom. Because these are noted in associated features to be fairly intense for pwASPD, some say it isn't possible for those to be blunted. In my personal opinion, I don't think that's the case, or else those would be listed in criteria. Even criteria dom't all get met by every pwASPD, and when dealing with personality disorders, it isn't very rational to say for certain that an associated feature has to be present in everyone with that disorder.

Personality disorders exist on a spectrum in a similar way to autism because both affect a person's entire life. Every thought, action, etc. are influenced to some degree by personity disorders for those of us who have them; that's just the nature of PDs. When you're dealing with a range of symptoms that are *that* wide, you can bet that thete will be heavy variation between pw that disorder.

A fear of heights definitely does not mean you can't have ASPD or vice versa. That's considered an overactive survival instinct, which pwASPD still definitely are capable of having. In fact, many ASPD symptoms are direct results of unstable survival instincts. In some ways, we disregard our safety, yet our reactions to social situations and other people are a direct attempt by our brain to survive in a world we were taught was dangerous early on. So whilst there isn't a fear I think would exclude any person from having ASPD, this one in particular actually makes a lot of sense for someone with ASPD to struggle with.

I hope this helps!/gen

Plain text below the cut:

No worries, with a disorder with this little legitimate, unbiased research, I don't know that many silly questions exist, and yours is definitely legitimate.

In general, I would say there is not a cap to how much/how intense fear can be for someone with ASPD, any more than there is for anyone else. In fact, because pwASPD nearly always have it caused by some amount of trauma, and PTSD causes responses like anxiety and hypervigilance, I'd argue many pwASPD may feel fear more frequently and more intensely than untraumatized prosocials.

PwASPD can have blunted emotions, but that isn't always the case, and when it is, which emotions are blunted is entirely individual. For me, the main emotions that were blunted are sadness (the genuine, not depression one), contentedness, and affection. All 3 of these are emotions I *do* feel, but to a lower degree than most. They become extremely blunted during flares to the point where it feels as though I am incapable of feeling them, and then they come back.

I've heard of pwASPD who feel all "negative" emptions very intensely with "positive" ones being blunted, and I've heard the opposite where they almost feel numbed to fear, sadness, etc. because those are their natural state of being and have been for so many years, but when they are given genuine reason to feel happy/excited/etc. they feel that very, very intensely. Any combination thereof is possible, and it's also common for a pwASPD to not deal with any emotional blunting or nearly all emotions blunted.

The only emotions I've seen any contention about being able to be blunted are anger and its cousins (jealousy, frustration, etc.) and boredom. Because these are noted in associated features to be fairly intense for pwASPD, some say it isn't possible for those to be blunted. In my personal opinion, I don't think that's the case, or else those would be listed in criteria. Even criteria dom't all get met by every pwASPD, and when dealing with personality disorders, it isn't very rational to say for certain that an associated feature has to be present in everyone with that disorder.

Personality disorders exist on a spectrum in a similar way to autism because both affect a person's entire life. Every thought, action, etc. are influenced to some degree by personity disorders for those of us who have them; that's just the nature of PDs. When you're dealing with a range of symptoms that are *that* wide, you can bet that thete will be heavy variation between pw that disorder.

A fear of heights definitely does not mean you can't have ASPD or vice versa. That's considered an overactive survival instinct, which pwASPD still definitely are capable of having. In fact, many ASPD symptoms are direct results of unstable survival instincts. In some ways, we disregard our safety, yet our reactions to social situations and other people are a direct attempt by our brain to survive in a world we were taught was dangerous early on. So whilst there isn't a fear I think would exclude any person from having ASPD, this one in particular actually makes a lot of sense for someone with ASPD to struggle with.

I hope this helps!/gen

#aspd-culture-is #aspd culture is #aspd culture #actually aspd #aspd #aspd awareness #actually antisocial #antisocial personality disorder #aspd traits #anons welcome

[razzberrydazz]

Neurodivergence and mental illness headcanons and analysis with the BG3 cast! All of them have trauma there's no way any of them are totally mentally well (NONE of them are mentally fully well, being an adventurer is traumatic in and of itself).

Shadowheart and Astarion both have Borderline Personality Disorder undoubtedly to me, with Shart also having an extra dose of anxiety and depression on top of that. Being kidnapped and raised in a cult and being held hostage by a vampire lord are more than traumatizing enough to cause that.

Astarion definitely has PTSD from his time with Cazador. Shadowheart, Halsin, and Durge (if the player plays as Dark Urge) definitely also have PTSD.

-My analysis for my Durge is for a different post because there is so much going on there, but know that OCD and BPD and PTSD are all strong contenders for their mental idiosyncrasies-

Gale most definitely has depression and likely comorbid Autism and ADHD.

Lae'Zel is very autistic-coded to me with her directness and perceived low empathy and struggle to understand faerunian customs - many alien type characters are autistic-coded by the nature of their 'fish out of water' character arcs. She also has anger issues galore, and trust issues, she was raised in a militaristic alien cult society there's no way she wouldn't have fucked up emotional development. She's direct and quick to anger, but I don't think she's outright Rude - others may Think she's being rude but she's not, she's being honest and saying what she thinks.

Karlach is Sooooo ADHD coded to me, she also has hella anger issues and I do not blame her one bit, as well as a moderate dose of anxiety. Someone give her a fireproof fidget toy I beg of thee.

Wyll hides his trauma and issues relatively well, but I would not say he's as well-adjusted as many assume him to be. He's self-sacrificing to the point of extreme detriment, possibly a people pleaser, I am certain he has anxiety and depression that he does his best to mask, and he may not have full blown PTSD but he definitely has trauma. I get the impression he has a low opinion of himself due to his pact and often can even be self-depreciating especially when made to look like a devil, definitely has signs of depression in him. He is such a precious man and I want to help him see that he's worth so much more than he thinks 🥺

Minthara, while I don't know her character as well as the others, definitely has trauma from being raised in the toxic cult of lolth-sworn drow society, greatly reduced empathy (but not non-existent) due to said cult society, is definitely a sadist, could have developed Antisocial Personality Disorder due to the way lolthite society molded her (Lolthite society raises people in a way to predispose them to having APD if you ask me, since it's built on manipulation and fear and ladder climbing on the backs of others). Despite possibly having APD due to the trauma of Lolthite society, Minthara is not incapable of love and devotion and can grow to care for tav and other party members over time, perhaps even to a fanatical level if you romance her.

Halsin has trauma that he often brushes off or downplays, he can be quite self-depreciating at times, and from my viewpoint he is hypersexual as a maladaptive coping mechanism. Definitely has self-image issues and doesn't see himself as worthy of the love and affection and positions of authority he's been placed in. Probably has depression that he works hard to mask in front of others.

Jaheira has a long history of trauma that include the events of the first two games, I would not be surprised if she has PTSD, but overall she is pretty well adjusted all things considered. She has trust issues but I don't blame her, she has justification.

Minsc is hilarious, that man has autism I am convinced, he has trauma but I'm not sure if he realizes his trauma is indeed trauma and not simply a mild inconvenience in his life. Either none of his trauma is processed as such in his brain so he is genuinely that happy-go-lucky, or that jovial attitude is a mask. Boo is...Boo. I do not know the inner machinations of a miniature giant space hamster.

If anyone in the game is a Narcissist, it's Orin the Red (NPD does not make one inherently abusive or evil of course, no personality disorder or mental illness makes anyone inherently bad, Orin just happens to embody many of its traits to the extreme and has the traumatic upbringing to cause it). Her story is so tragic to me, she wants so badly for Bhaal to love her, she wants the admiration and affection of the god of murder so bad and she doesn't care if that means killing the entire world. She's incredibly tragic, she doesn't realize she's as traumatized as she is because it got channeled into her mask of self-importance and lack of empathy extreme sadism and want for admiration from Bhaal specifically. If it was possible to if not redeem her, at least spare her from death and break her out of her cult mindset, I would do it in a heartbeat. I love Orin as a character so much.

Gortash could be APD, but I think he fits Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder more. His want for control, for order, under the tyranny of Bane, to wrench control and revenge for the childhood he was robbed of, it's very fitting. He's distrustful and known for deceit but his ride or dieness with Durge and willingness to Risk It All for Tav is endearing to me, and could be him manipulating or simply be that he does in fact see teaming up with Tav as the best course of action for him to maintain his control. I'm biased I know, I like Gortash too much.

Ketheric is spiteful and traumatized from the death of his wife and daughter and the cult he imbedded himself in yes, but he takes it to an extreme in his lashing out from his grief. I don't think he's antisocial or narcissistic, I mainly think he's depressed and a victim of a sunk-cost fallacy taken way too far. He committed to the bit until the very end.

If anyone else could possibly have APD or NPD, I think it'd be the Emperor, but I also feel the mental quirks of being a mindflayer predispose someone to being manipulative and self-agrandizing. He is a Very sly and effective manipulator, and even though overall he has the common goal as the player and protects them from death and transforming into a mind flayer for the majority of the game, he is ultimately doing it for his own aims. He hid the truth of Orpheus and his own form for most of the game, because he was so distrustful of Tav that he believed they would never trust him otherwise - which he can't actually know as true or not. Unfortunately for him I chose saving Orpheus and helping Lae'Zel over helping him because his history of manipulation and omition of information caught up to him and caused the very distrust he wanted to avoid. He is a great morally grey/dubious character who can be both loved and loathed for his antics.

Dame Aylin and Isobel definitely have trauma if not PTSD, and Aylin probably is autistic.

Listen what I'm saying is autistic people have a surprisingly high level of charisma and they and other neurospicy people congregate together to make some delicious neurospicy food.

Those are all the characters I have thoughts about for the moment, and these are my headcanons more than anything, so don't take this too seriously.

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 spoilers #razzberry rambles #razz rambles #character analysis #mental illness #headcanons #razz headcanons #listen it is way too easy for me to read every damn party member as having bpd they're all traumatized it's par for the course #neurospicy

[sophieinwonderland]

Hi, I'm a system and have mutliple other disorders. All "cis" if you will. I'm not here to shame anyone but I would genuinely like to know how this makes sense to you? I want to know your persepctive because I don't understand and maybe I can get some more insight from someone else. I feel invalidated when people talk about endogenic and "transsystems" because my disorder is not an aesthetic and I had to go through so much trauma that turned me into who I am today and not in a good way. It's painful and it hurts when I see people making fun of my experience by saying they've acquired their system "naturally" even though that's not how the disorder works (By "making fun of" I mean that's how it feels). It also feels transphobic to hijack trans wording such as "cis" and "trans" even though disorders are different to gender. Gender is a social construct and disorders are just not. They can't go away, they can't change. I can never get my childhood back and I struggle to be able to be myself with my Autism and ADHD, I find it hard to keep relationships from the immense anxiety I've gotten from my CPTSD symptoms and the chronic mistrust I've had to develop to survive. I guess I just want to ask why? Why you believe in these things? It's not that I hate you, I don't, I genuinely want to understand because currently I feel hurt, and upset, and made fun of in a way I've never felt before and I just want to know the logic and reasoning behind this kind of stuff before I make a judgement.

This is an old post, so it's entirely possible you've already made up your mind on these issue now. But either way, I decided I might as well answer now

Personally, I feel these are different subjects.

First...

Disorders Are a Social Construct

Not in the same way as gender or race, mind you.

Rather, disorders are bureaucratic labels tacked onto symptoms. These symptoms may or may not actually be related.

We live in a universe with DID and OSDD-1 are considered separate disorders. But it doesn't have to be like that. Maybe in another universe, they would be the same disorder.

Or, maybe in one universe, DID wouldn't exist and OSDD-1a and 1b would be two separate disorders, with DID just being the comorbidity between these two things.

Maybe your ADHD would actually be branded as a type of autism, or autism could still be considered a classification of Schizophrenia. Many psychiatrists actually dislike the disorder model, and would prefer focusing on individual symptoms instead.

Also, some disorders can go away, and some disorders can change. Well, the diagnosis will still remain, but that's more another matter of the bureaucracy. If you're depressed for two weeks, you get a diagnosis. Then the symptoms can go away for 30 years, but you'll retain that diagnosis forever.

I Think You Can Experience Dysphoria For Anything

The reason I feel how I do on transX identities is because I've seen people in the plural community with memories of living completely different lives. People who feel uncomfortable with every aspect of the body they inhabit.

I've personally felt inadequate for lacking the intelligence and education of my source.

I know some who feel phantom limb-like experiences relating to parts they never had like wings and tails.

And psychologists have acknowledged and researched BIID, where people will feel like they should have a certain physical condition.

And so I totally believe it's possible to have dysphoria for anything, including mental conditions you don't have. It doesn't make rational sense why someone would want certain conditions, but the brain rarely makes rational sense and it would be a mistake to assume it needs to.

Endogenic Systems Are Different

I don't believe endogenic systems are a result of or related to dysphoria at all, outside of transplurals.

I believe endogenic plurality is a naturally occurring condition. We can see this in the ease of which people are able to divide themselves into parts in Internal Family Systems. The autonomy of imaginary friends as children. And the fact that many unrelated cultures around the world have reported nonpathological spiritual possession through history.

Most endogenic plurality isn't people who feel like they need to be plural or feel dysphoric for being a singlet. It's just a different experience that's been largely ignored by psychology until the past decade.

I've been collecting studies on these various phenomena here:

Personally, I find the imaginary friend studies most interesting. In the past, it was assumed that imaginary friends were purely controlled by the child hosts, but more evidence keeps stacking up showing that this isn't the case and that these are natural fully autonomous agents.

These experiences have been ignored by psychiatry for a long time because they just weren't pathological, and they were hidden enough that psychiatry could dismiss them as just pretend or fake.

#syscourse #pro endo #pro endogenic #transx #transid #transabled #sysblr #rad inclus #multiplicity

[donniesexceptionalmind]

i can't tell if this is a personal question or not, so feel free to not answer/bock me if it makes u uncomfortable, but did u always know u had autism? i'm pretty sure i have autism, but my parents think it's adhd and i can't tell if it's something i should pursue even if it would cause fights with them

again sorry if it's too personal lol u just seem like u would know duh

Well, it's a very good question!

I did not know.

What I knew was that I was ✨️different✨️.

Alienation is a common feeling of autistic people & it was definitely present throughout my whole life. I did not feel like I'd belong among the people around me (not talking about my family, though. They are very generous & they support me all the time).

I didn't understand my peers & they called me weird behind my back. I had no real interest in interacting with them, although I wanted to be accepted & valued. Instead, I was systemically excluded by my peers & only pursued if I had knowledge to share what they wanted.

Added to that, there were symptoms I lacked to properly identify & lead me to believe I had an anxiety or panic disorder. Turned out it had been suppressed sensory overload which lead to me developing depression & a severe eating disorder to cope with the stress.

It took a lot of research to find out that I was autistic because we four & dad were so extraordinary to begin with. My differences were just taken as another quirk, I mean, we are mutants?

That being said, random research brought my attention to it & Mikey, being the one that loves psychology very much, suggested it in my teens.

Since then I have educated myself A LOT about autism & neurodivergency & I continue my research to widen my knowledge & it is the most accurate explanation of the way my brain works, so why should I be wrong? Especially if the tools to accommodate myself work?

*waving my massive backlog of research around*

ADHD & autism have overlapping traits but they are not the same. It could be possible that you have both, it's not uncommon to be AuDHD. I suggest you do research about autism. I can give you some resources to start with, if that would be wanted.

Should you go for a diagnosis or at least look more into it?

Yes, if it would help you to get additional support. Personally, I believe you are deserving support without a diagnosis, which means allowing noise canceling headphones, using fidgets... but I was referring to health care support actions, I believe you know what I mean, human healthcare isn't my best field of knowledge.

It can be beneficial to know from a professional that you are indeed autistic too, it helps with imposter syndrome

Yes, if you are in need of support & your mental health is doing badly.

No, if a diagnosis would cause you to be restricted or infantalised & you wouldn't be safe

Thank you for the very amazing inbox question & I hope I've answered it to your delight.

Stim away, dear people. ✨️💜

#donnie answers #donnie speaks #donnies exceptional mind #turtle net #rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #autism #rottmnt autistic donnie #rise autistic donnie #autism awareness #autism spectrum disorder #autistic donatello #autistic donnie #autistic donnie headcanon

[yourfavepookiebear]

Im 100% sure I have some kind of mental illness/disorder but i don't know what.

Adhd ? Nah. (??? Not sure..)

Autism ? Nah (I don't think so)

Depression ? Sometimes but nah. At least it's not chronic. It just comes and goes as quickly as it came. After all it's incredibly, insanely, jaw-droppingly, absolutely, bedazzingly hard to stay sane when near my mom for an extended period of time. (Seriously)

Bpd ? Nah.

Any kind of personality disorders ? Highly unlikely but somehow possible..

Schizophrenia ? Highly unlikely. Hopefully no..

Social anxiety ? Nah.

PTSD ? maybe...it's a 70/30 for me

ED ? Nah.

OCD ? possible but highly unlikely.

Psychotic disorder ? Absolutely not.

Attachment issues ? Likely and possible, but if I do then it's probably very mild and not severe at all, in normal circumstances.

What else is there ??? Or maybe I'm just naturally weird ?? But i know I'm definitely not completely sane. I lost my sanity a long, long, very long while ago. (Actually not that long i lost it around 3-5 years ago, but you could say 8 years ago if you count all the previous, forgotten trauma as well)

What the fk am I doing, it's fucking 10pm. I think I shouldn't have taken so many pills and then skipped the most important one cuz I didn't like how it tasted.

[teratheo]

One peculiar thought has latched onto me and the deeper I dig in the more sense it makes.

It's hard for me to come to the point now, so without further ado onwards to the crisis

Despite having a diagnosis, how come I keep thinking there must be something else wrong with me?

Autism itself in my life seems to have been scaled down to some quirky stuff, the reason for this being both my family's treatment of the diagnosis ("I don't see this as a disorder in you, you don't have a disorder" "I like your asperger's, it makes you funnier", "Well you deal with it, you never had any problems because of that" (<-the gall to say that despite knowing I was bullied in school is unbelievable btw) "It's better you were never diagnosed as a child, it would be traumatizing to be carried around psychiatrists and psychologists offices as a kid and make you feel like the weird one and be stigmatized" etc.) and the prelavent memes and posts on the internet I keep seeing (on a smaller scale though bc there are many serious posts here too)

So most possibly all of that has caused to me myself to internalize this skewed view of this disorder (emboldened because I am fucking tired of being told that it is not a disorder and trying to argue otherwise)

And what did that cause?

I stopped recognizing that autism might be the source of stuff I experience, thus leading into me looking into multiple other disorders and similiar. But, shocking thought, maybe I don't have any of the stuff I think I might have and the reason for them actually is in the thing I DO have?

(The only thing that is actually quite probable is that I have comorbid adhd considering that I basically fit almost all the criteria for the mixed type.)

Maybe it's not ocd, but a specific mix of rituals connected to a set of my literal convictions.

Maybe I dont have a cluster c personality disorder, but rather the anxiety comes from living as a neurodivergent person in a neurotypical society? Maybe all my past experiences of being misunderstood, exploited, made fun of and so on are the real reason for social anxiety and trouble with assertiveness?

Maybe it's not dermatillomania or non suicidal self injury disorder or anything like that, maybe it's just one of the ways I stim. Which is not actually a rare way of stimming.

Maybe it's not depression, maybe I just have early signs of incoming autistic burnout?

Maybe it's hard not to dehumanize myself and pathologocize things I experience when I'm so far from the 'normal'? If I'm not allowed to call myself "not normal" solely because of my autism ("nooo of course you are normal! There's nothing abnormal about you :>), then, maybe, if there is something else wrong with me, oh, maybe then I can be taken and take myself seriously.

Maybe autism is not just the "quirky", "fun" stuff. Maybe it's also so so much other experiences.

#autism #actually autistic #aspergers #wtf do I tag this

[thevagabondexpress]

why is it, you think, that I understand neurodivergence so well and in jungian psychology I get all the little ‘functions’ (can’t remember their real name) behind the myers briggs types. but when it comes to this shadow stuff? I’ve got no way of placing it and don’t know how to make head or tail of it most of the time. I’ve heard it said ro be the last function in your stack (Si for me as an ENFP) or the secondary four functions that aren’t your main four (the opposite introvert/extrovert orientations) but like. I’m not sure that explains it, from your post I kinda feel like it’s anything that we mask and suppress. Like neurodivergence, which means for some of us our shadow could be our entire self pretty much. And I’m conscious of not basing entire theories of real life psychology on fivtional characters but there really needs to be a way to integrate jung’s stuff with neurodiversify, even though I’ve not really seen anyone do jt. I’ve got more thoughts but I’m gonna leave it at this for now, what do you think?

okay. so. i do have thoughts here. first off, jung is about as much philosophy as he is actual psychology. secondly, the fact that there is no one single definition of the shadow i think is a good definition for the shadow in and of itself. it's nebulous. it defies the neat boxes of mbti and enneagram and the dsm-5. i've heard a number of interpretations of the shadow, everything from the evil, antisocial side of the self to your "last function in the stack."

personally, i define the shadow as your mental early warning system. the shadow prompts your ego to act on the needs, wants, emotions, desires that you've been processing subconsciously while you do other things. the shadow tells you, "we're angry," prompting us to choose between yelling at that guy and walking away from him. the shadow tells us, "we feel like shit," prompting us to make a choice between a shower and bed or grabbing another can of red bull to keep chugging. the shadow tells us, "we're hungry," so we go downstairs, decide on rotini for lunch, the shadow goes "ah, shit," when we discover we don't have rotini, and the persona is what doesn't say that out loud. the shadow is also the impatient, bad-ideas thing, it wants the easiest laziest now solution (yell at the guy, grab another can of red bull, sulk) to whatever it's prompting you about and it's up to the other parts of you to make a decision, do we answer the prompt from the shadow with its presented elementary schooler decision or do we choose something different.

as for neurodivergence, i think it's fair to treat the archetypes a bit like the old medieval concept of humors and the way they can become unbalanced. if dsm diagnoses like autism and sociopathy are "you've got tuberculosis," then the archetypes are "too much yellow bile." cluster b disorders are when your persona's a little bit skewed. executive + social function disorders like autism, adhd, pda, depression, anxiety are when your ego is a little bit skewed. and then fear-based, mood-based and hallucinatory disorders like depression, anxiety, ptsd, shizophrenia, etc, are when it's your shadow that's out of sorts: your early warning system overreacts or underreacts or invents.

personally i like this model. while the proper psychiatric definitions are important and empowering in their own way (saying "i have disorder, disorder, disorder, and possibly disorder" gives me something targetably specific that i can do something about), the three archetypes model i find better in practice for the lay day-to-day non-scientific setting. when, instead of, "i have disorder, disorder, disorder, and possibly disorder," i say, "my ego's a bit wrecked and my shadow's a bit wrecked," it helps me de-clinicize and re-romanticize my existence without losing track of the ability to define where i'm not like the machine expects me to be. i don't feel pitiable, or like a patient, or a statistic. the official diagnostic criteria helps me when i sit down with the psychiatrist, when i research the solutions and the issues. but in the day to day, when i need to do laundry/do homework/make lunch/etc and i don't wanna? when i think "disorder, disorder, and disorder are impacting executive function" i get a very i know this and it helps how? feeling from it. when i think, "ego's a bit fucked, shadow's a bit fucked," the snarky exhaustedness with which if remind myself of that leads me to an actual solution: i put jessica jones on the television and body double with her as we both drag ourselves through the shit we didn't want to do today.

#neurodivergence #psychology #philosophy #shadow work

[kharmii]

Probably the most unpopular opinion on the internet but I don’t like seeing all these posts glorifying autism or mental illnesses or see them as some sort of aesthetic or use every possible way to make sure you know they have autism or a mental illness.

As someone who’s been diagnosed with depression and anxiety and has been on meds for decades I kinda feel insulted by the way these conditions have become a quirky personality trait and an aesthetic to people as well as shoving it on all fictional characters.

I do like headcanon of characters having these conditions but it makes me uncomfortable to see characters getting stripped down to their conditions without anything else.

It is relieving to have characters go through similar things and have them react to them but it shouldn’t be the sole purpose to write them that way.

I also feel that no condition should be a free pass to be an asshole to the people around them. In the long run it does more harm than good and it doesn’t make "healthy" people more sympathetic towards their conditions.

My condition is not your aesthetic!

(Youre good for real but I have seen so many people in the submas fandom act like this and that autism is a quirky personality trait and reduce the twins to this it’s just tiring…)

This is all true. When you turn something undesirable into an aesthetic, then it has the disastrous effect of becoming a social contagion that will actually kill people fr. It's not fun to be autistic and/or mentally ill, and I'm sure most people with various neurodivergent dysfunctions would choose not to suffer from them if they could.

I wouldn't glorify suicide. I wouldn't glorify recreational drug use out of fear someone would join the tens of thousands of fentanyl overdoses every year in this country. On that same vein, I certainly don't want to see my favorite male characters with scars on their chests from getting their tits cut off. That results in death by suicide for almost half the people who go through with it. (LOL, complain moar about my 'codependent twincest kink' hurting the chillens when everybody and their grandmother glorifies something that causes the sterilization and mutilation of children).

A mutual over on Live Journal calls trendy autism 'fauxtism' and accuses those people of cosplaying autistic people as an excuse to act uncouth or feel marginalized. The worst thing they did was make an autistic spectrum (similar idea to a gender spectrum) because then people with mental illness comorbidities could jump under the umbrella of being autistic (or trans) because it's trendy.

Are you socially awkward? Maybe it's autism. Overly shy? Autism. The mutual had a falling out with a friend she called 'space case' who worked for NASA but had an 'autistic' daughter who suffered brain damage at one year of age after sucking down a bottle of medication carelessly left out. This mentally retarded daughter would smear shit on the walls and swing from ceiling fans, all while the mother claimed she was 'being creative' or some shite. It's proof you can be a genius working for NASA and also be the dumbest mofo on the planet.

Anyway, I personally have autistic symptoms, but my version of the 'tism comes from profound long-term abuse, -both from my family and from bullying from peers- going way back. I'm like irl Shoto Todoroki. Just look at this guy. You can tell he got the shit beat out him since he was little:

I can't count how many times I've said to myself, "If I smile then...they'll die?!" for laughs. Guy With Canon Abusive Family doesn't bother masking because he carefully guards his emotions. He comes across overly serious and deadpan, and some people might think he has no sense of humor because of it. Being a 15-year-old, Shoto is savvy enough to know he should be pissed at his abusers, but he isn't emotionally sophisticated enough to shake the deep insecurity that he might do or say something completely innocuous and still manage to make a mess of things or offend somebody.

Side note: That character is especially interesting because he was a product of selective breeding for a specific purpose. I imagine him being toddler aged pushing around a firetruck saying "I don't want to be the #1 hero when I grow up! I want to be a firefighter! Why can't I choose what I want to do!" No free will for him though. He has to hold up to the most impossible standard of perfection imaginable. What will the future hold for him? Will "too hot to handle; too cold to hold" become the #1 someday?

Having that personality type at my age, and I'm just recently realizing that, hey, maybe it's not always me. Maybe it's you people sometimes. If the guy stalking me has to repeat a joke several times so I 'get it' while I give him a thousand-yard stare, maybe it's less that I'm a retard and more that he's an unfunny goober giving me unwanted attention. If the middle aged incel weirdo with no wife and kids tells the same stupid 10-year-old joke again, maybe he shouldn't give me that knowing look when I flatly change the subject. Maybe I'm no fun, but he's an empty loser who has done absolutely nothing with his life, and therefore has nothing meaningful to talk about.

If I bring any of that up, I'm being MEEEEAAAAANNNNN....even if I had to take so much bs to get to that point. I'm the type of person who will take and take and take and take andtakeandtakeandtake before I finally snap. It's so typical of an abuser to have that sense of entitlement where they think you owe them something. -Like they feel they have the inherent right to be treated kindly and with dignity, but they won't reciprocate. Oh no....you are supposed to be a perfect slave who exists to please them and boost their egos.

Enough about me and my dysfunction. Sorry. This anon wanted to talk about Submas I think.....

Okay, so some people have the insulting head canon that Emmet is an asshole and therefore is 'more autistic' than Ingo. Does it have to be autism? Maybe it's more to do with how they represent 'truth and ideals'. Emmet (white dragon) is Truth, and that's why in the original game, he taunts the player when they lose against him. Ingo, (black dragon) is Ideals, and he still congratulates the player for a fun battle, even if they lose.

That's great. Let the truth guy be an asshole because the truth doesn't concern itself with being kind or worrying about a person's feelings. It is what it is. It can be both kind or harsh depending on the situation. Ideals, otoh, is polite and kind because it is always striving for the best. Nobody ever thinks....my ideal world has everything on fire and a lot of dead people in it. If truth and ideals don't work in harmony, however, that's what you end up with.

The head-in-the-clouds ideals guy might be considerate and kind all while walking you over the side of a cliff. The truth guy might say....heyy fuckknuckle! Don't walk over that cliff or else you will die! Okay, so maybe his delivery needs some work. Maybe he's being an asshole about it, but at least you don't end up dead from falling off a cliff. That makes the truth guy kinder in the long run (insert trans analogy in here, LOL!).

#fandumb fail #submas #ranty rant rant #neurodivergent #fauxtism #shoto todoroki #truth and ideals #black and white #srsly tho #social contagion #the usual bullshit #transtrender

[meadowsystem]

💙 my heart is heavy with this one 💙

I have consistent nervous breakdowns over knowing this is my life. But yet I know many have no idea about the things I'm about to tell you.

Cyclic vomiting syndrome itself is not truely life-threatening but the complications that it creates can be.

I'M BEGGING FOR HELP!!

They do not provide enough accessible treatment. For complications I face from this rare disease.

I am unable to keep a job as I cannot work during vomiting episodes. Lasting anywhere between hours to days. Not including the recovery time needed after the episode is finished.

IT IS DEBILITATING.

Workplaces refuse to hire me when accomodations are asked due to this disability making me "unreliable". If you don't tell your employer and you miss too much work, your let go for being "unreliable". Finding a workplace who will accommodate you and provide consistent wages ... is unobtainable.

Accessing proper insurance coverage needed to make this rare disease manageable is unobtainable due to the plethora of needs we require to have met. Even when on welfare or disability.

Those who are not able to manage the triggers are pushed out of the workforce and forced to fight to get disability. Often unable to obtain federal disability as it isn't "as bad as cancer" as I was told... even with my other plethora of diagnoses that made my doctor feel it was my best course of action.

Not only dose this rare disease have complications of dehydration, damage to the esophagus and tooth decay. Most with this disease also suffer from other conditions (comorbidities), particularly other functional issues. Some of the common functional comorbidities to CVS include migraine headache, chronic fatigue, irritable bowel, gastroparesis, depression, anxiety, POTS and/or other forms of dysautonomia as well as neuromuscular disease include intellectual disabilities, autism, seizures, and/or hypotonia. As well as mitochondria dysfunctions

Incase you don't know mitochondria dysfunctions means your body cannot efficiently turn sugar and oxygen into energy, so the cells do not work correctly. This can affect different parts of the body: the brain, kidneys, muscles, heart, eyes, ears, and others. Organ dysfunction can be a very real possibility. Organ failure is organ dysfunction to such a degree that normal homeostasis cannot be maintained without external clinical intervention.

I have been diagnosed with 8 and counting of the comorbidities. These comorbidities have their own comorbidities that have also been added to my list.

Many doctors are under educated on CVS. Often those with CVS are not properly diagnosed, even with symptoms at a young age.

Many doctors tell us to figure out our CVS triggers to manage the disease. In my case I have so many triggers due to my plethora of diagnoses/comorbidities that my CVS is incredibly difficult, even unrealistic to manage even with proper medical support. (So many overlapping, environmental, situational, medical, life triggers... so many triggers not on this list and still more unknown triggers)

THIS IS MY LIFE! THERE IS NO CURE.

They're are only underfunded small individual research/studies. They have not found a cure. We don't have proper support and thus we suffer. Look at this link ... the lack of information

https://rarediseases.info.nih.gov/diseases/6230/cyclic-vomiting-syndrome

I SUFFER.

My disadvantages have been continually coming to light. My realization I likely won't be able to achieve basic life milestones has been heartbreaking.

Medically assisted suicide is easily achievable even in even minor cases of CVS. While there is little to no support and even less accessibility.

What options do those with this disease have?

Suffer or give up ...

I'd also like to finally note the journey to diagnosis is horrendous. Doctors diagnose cyclic vomiting syndrome based on family and medical history, a physical exam, pattern of symptoms, and medical tests. Your doctor should perform medical tests to rule out other diseases and conditions that may cause nausea and vomiting.

-add on the factors of age, ethnicity, gender, life style, fashion choices, preconceived assumptions ... the list goes on ... the journey to diagnosis often feels unbearable-

If you have read this please comment, I need some validation.

💙

#mental health advocate #mental illness #touch of the tism #equity #chronic illness #fibrowarrior #ptsdlife #no support #cyclic vomiting syndrome #arthritis #comorbidities #adhd brain #irritable bowel syndrome #chronic pain #asthma #allergies #living with borderline #this is depressing #anxitey #panic disorder #tmj syndrome #dyslalia #pots syndrome #scoliosis #sleep apnea #medication side effects #no proper testing #lack of social programs #eating disorders #lack of funding

[spookietrex]

Story Time with Spookie!

So let me just tell you a kind of infuriating, kind of funny story about mental health hospitalizations. (If you're only here for the funny bits, stick to the last 5 paragraphs!) This is a true story that I experienced. Names have been changed.

Tw: sexual abuse, involuntary mental health hospitalization, stalking

So for context, I am an ambulatory wheelchair user due to hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos, POTS, and fibromyalgia. I have severe PTSD from multiple incidents, borderline personality disorder, autism (but mask almost automatically due to my trauma. I did extremely well in society before my autistic burnout. I am now experiencing severe symptoms), shaking/tremors/possible seizures (current diagnosis is functional neurological disorder but I have severe cognitive decline. Now find simple children's math books complicated (spent 45 minutes on one problem today in a number puzzle workbook for ages 7+), severe depression/anxiety, but most importantly I have severe trust issues with medical professionals because they keep involuntarily hospitalizing me when I, my wife, my therapist have both told them it doesn't help. When I am triggered/scared, I have PNES where I can't walk. Like at all. I will fall and hurt myself. (I also have POTS).

So I go to the hospital got some unrelated reason and they decide that I'm suicidal because I have a history as a kid and I have passive suicidal ideation controlled by a therapist (my exact words). They keep me for 2 days at one facility no AMA (barely feed me anything I'll actually eat. I'm a vegan), only at certain times was I allowed to to have any comfort items (my fuzzy blanket, was brand new, my phone, etc), they make up lies and decide my health even when I am honest (lmao they literally wrote in my medical record that i threw up on purpose, but they focus on the fact that I use marijuana for pain. Even though I have my medical card.) then tell me I'll be moved upstairs to the psych unit to "finish my psych hold, " where my wife will be allowed to visit me for one hour two times per week. So I'm annoyed but whatever. I know the plan. They tell me they're going to move me at midnight; plenty of time for my wife to get back from work. Nope, they suddenly tell me at 9:30pm the ambulance is on its way to take me to the new hospital. I start freaking out but am doing my best to not do things that will make me stay longer. I make them wait for my wife to say goodbye and deny all my sleep meds and request an Ativan so that I do not have a major meltdown at the new hospital. The entire time, I am shaking nonstop. I am barely aware of my surroundings. I am sweating like crazy and the EMT is very concerned. I ask to leave but am denied.

We finally get to the hospital (10:30pm) and they hand me paperwork to sign in and tell me they will not engage with me unless I sign. I ask if that means I can leave. She says no. I am forced to sign the paperwork voluntarily admitting myself despite actively voicing concerns. (1:30am)

The nurse is nice enough but she is distracted because another man is actively detoxing. She asks about trauma history and because I am exhausted and hope it helps, I tell her about my messed up childhood and my story. She validates me and leaves due to another patient (3:00am) tells me she has to take the fuzzy blanket for now but I should be able to get it back. Another lady comes in to take the fuzzy blanket. I am having a meltdown and shaking so badly I can't stand. She tells me to hand it to her. I gently toss it to her because I can't move. She yells at me. I tell her I'm having a seizure andcan'twalk. She says "no you're not" I repeated that I needed a wheelchair. She checked with the nurse and came back with a wheelchair. (4:30am)

Ended up on the psychosis unit because I told my doctor I was seeing color swirls that weren't there. (Kaleidoscope vision before migraine) The nurses on the unit laugh in my face when I ask about the fuzzy blanket. (6am) The bed was uncomfortable and I had no privacy. At this point, I'd been awake 24 hours so I slept. I got in trouble for sleeping 🥴

The worst part and the reason for this story there was this male patient that arrived on like my second or third day. He just walked into my room when I was laying down reading and stared at me for a while. I screamed at him to get tfo of my room. My roommate heard me yelling and came to help. He finally left but muttered something along the lines of, "I can do whatever the f--- I want. It's my f---ing room." This alarmed me so I alerted staff. They rolled their eyes and said, "That's just Billy. He doesn't mean any harm."

The next day, I am in the common room talking to someone, Billy comes up to me multiple times after I tell him to please leave me alone. He writes down his phone number on a piece of paper and tries to give it to me multiple times after he sees me accept my roommate's information. It happens in groups. Staff does nothing. It's not just me he's bothering but he's clearly targeting and following me. Other people notice and report it to staff. He did this for a few more days before I finally snapped. I yelled. I yelled really loudly to get the f--- away from me. I said it multiple times (I wanna say like 10) and staff did nothing before my roommate (again) told them I was yelling and to get him away from me. They gave Billy a shot for that.

That night I couldn't sleep. I was rolling through the hall with my wheelchair around 3am and heard the sound of a male masturbating. I rolled myself up to the counter wanting pain meds because my entire body was in pain and Billy's roommate Lamar was up at the counter asking to use the bathroom because his roommate was masturbating in theirs. (Ew).

The next day was the night before I found out I was leaving. I spent the day talking to group members that I liked and exchanging contact information and coloring. He again tried to offer me his information but I stayed with an easy way out or a barrier between him and I. Billy went out for a cigarette break with the rest of the group around 6pm. I sat inside with Aqua. We noticed that there was some commotion outside. Later, we learned from another group member, Levi, that Billy had gotten close to a dissociative girl, unzipped her jacket, and grabbed her breasts. She tried to push him off of her but didn't have much success. Lamar saw this and punched him off of her. Staff shoved Billy back inside.

Okay for this next part: there were a few people who knew I could walk but most of the group members had no idea. I had a fall risk bracelet (I am). So I'm sitting in the corner with Aqua also blocked in. Billy comes charging in and beeline directly for me. I have had it at this point. I have told him and told him. I scream louder than I have screamed at this facility to get the f--- away from me. This does not work. I get louder and louder until I am filled with adrenaline and no longer give a shit about whether I fall on my face (but am pretty confident I won't). I stand and take a step forward and shout so loud that the smokers could hear me through the glass outside. Staff comes running. Billy is looking shocked and the only thing that comes out of his mouth is, "Hallelujah. It's a miracle. You can stand." I am seething and am ready to tear this man apart just as staff arrives to take him away. I sit down in my wheelchair and stare at Aqua, slow blinking, aghast at what just happened.

#queer cripple #angry cripple #cripple punk #stalker #hallelujah #funny story #mentally ill #mental disorder #mental illness #tw ptsd #tw stalking #crip punk #physically disabled #disabled #invisible illness #invisible disability #ehlers danlos problems #ehlers danlos #ehlers danlos zebra #ehlers danlos syndrome #hypermobile ehlers danlos #fibro #fnd #functional neurological disorder #psychogenic non epileptic seizures #pnes #potsie #ambulatory wheelchair user #mental health awareness #involuntary hospitalization

[moonlightsonata08]

pinned post

hello all ! this page here is my personal account. this is a Masterpost of sorts on all things about Me!

i will post stuff about my disabilities as well as my interests on here. this is basically a hub for All Things Me. Think of this as a Journal-- here i will divulge my thoughts, feelings, and anything else i want to share. :-)

the basics

let me introduce myself: i am moonie. my Pronouns are they/she/it. i'm disabled both mentally and physically. i am Cripplepunk and Neuropunk, and also a metalhead! i am an adult, and my birthdate is november 15th :-)

in the future i want to Create educational cartoons about disability. i have an art account to document my drawings! please check it out... @pierrotlunaire08 .*~

i am a non-binary, butch lesbian. i am demisexual and genderfluid as well. i also consider myself somewhere along the trans umbrella. i have a Wonderful Wonderful girlfriend whom i love Very much <3.

i have autism, (level 1 but suspected level 2), adhd, dyscalculia, anxiety + depression, and borderline personality disorder. (along w bpd is some traits of other PDs, mainly DPD and NPD. i also have psychosis.

physically i have hypermobile ehlers danlos syndrome, and possibly asthma. i might have a neurological issue or two but i haven't gotten that checked yet.

do Not interact

bigots of all kinds, nazis, terfs, tiktok people, people who think "borderline/narcissistic abuse" is real.... thats about it really

interests

special interests:

cartoons!! ren and stimpy, aahh!!! real monsters, looney tunes, films by richard williams, happy tree friends,

psychology + medical things (learning abt my own disorders, autism and PD research, along w some physical medical stuff)

vhs, dvd, and physical media

piracy and anti-capitalism. queer rights, disability rights.

clown stuff

i also like coding and fashion

opinions

if you Must know my stances on the pressing topics in this site, i believe in the Following:

in terms of discourse, i Think for Myself and don't take sides.

if you have/are the thing you can say the slur

dont say "going nonverbal", nonverbal/semiverbal autistic folks have said they dislike it. you can say verbal shutdown or speech loss instead

listen to high support needs disabled people

you either support All mental illnesses/disabilities or you support none of them. you cant leave out the ones that make you uncomfortable or that challenge your worldview.

if its your disability you can refer to it however you want (e.g getting mad at people who say "i have autism" rather than "i am autistic" is Dumb.), just respect others' preferences when referring To Them and You're Fine

tiktok and twitter are cesspools of misinformation and fair-weather supporters. 50% of the people who say theyre autistic on there, i dont know if i Believe them. i hope to God tiktok gets banned

"narc abuse" "bpd abuse" isnt real and is ableist. personality disorders come from trauma largely, so youre basically putting someone down for developing the "wrong" disorder from their trauma. (that, and PDs affect interpersonal judgement which impairs the ability to abuse someone. my symptoms are not signs of abuse psych2go!)

stamps

#moonie's blog #blog intro #pinned intro #actually autistic #level 1 autism #level 2 autism #autistic community #actually borderline #bpd safe