#i know there is more than one post which explores this theme!

[theresattrpgforthat]

Thanks so much for doing all this, I love what you do for enjoyers of ttrpgs!!

What I'm looking for is epistolary or long-distance, asynchronous games for multiple players. I know you've done lists of 2-player games that people can play in their own time (writing letters or journal entries back and forth, stating your actions in a message then waiting for the other player, etc) but I was wondering if there were any I could play with 3 or more players with different timezones & schedules at once.

Genre and playstyle are flexible, we love trying new mechanics! I've struggled to find games to fit this myself, so I hope you can have a little more luck. You're awesome for taking these requests and finding so many different games for people!

THEME: Asynch & Epistolary for 3 or More.

Hello friend! First of all, I’m going to send you to my Epistolary (Part 3) post because that was specifically for 3 or more players, as well as my first epistolary post because there were a number there that could also be played with a number of people.

But don't worry, there's more!

Angels of the Railway Stations, by Speak the Sky.

There’s only so much you can do alone, but you’re not alone. There’s only so much that can be done with any one meeting, but life is more than one meeting. As you go through the stages of Arrival, Stopover, and Departure, take notes of everything in the form of a letter to be sent on with the train when it leaves the station. These letters should give your fellow angels more context to help the traveller in need along the way. They’re also your only way to communicate with your colleagues and comrades.

Angels of the Railway Stations is an epistolary game for 2+ players in which you play a liminal community of lonely angels. Help lonely travellers in a world undergoing a great upheaval, then write about what you see and do to pass it on to the next angel down the line.

All of the rules for this game can fit on one page, and require you to rely on other players to determine what each of your passengers need and help them get to where they need to go - on time. Angels of the Railway Station references a game called Black Engines, which does not actually exist, which means that many parts of this game will require your play group to fill in the blanks. That being said, I think Angels of the Railway Station has plenty of potential when it comes to telling emotional stories.

Intersecting Orbits, by Ell Schulman.

For as long as there have been Orbiters, there has been the Interference. Spikes in data that have no business being there, garbled words, ghosts in the machinery. Few people believe truly in the existence of the Interference as an entity.The Interference does not care what they believe.

The planet below is alive. There are deep oceans and high mountains and biomes we do not have names for. There are plants and animals that do not conform to systems we know.

There are people who look up at the stars and wonder who else is out there.There is so much to explore. 

Intersecting Orbits is a game for three players, two of whom play Orbiters sending messages back and forth and one of whom plays the Interference who intercepts those messages and removes words from them. 

Using a deck of cards, the two Orbiters will try to communicate to each-other about something that is going on. Meanwhile, the Interference uses 2d6 to determine how many words of the message they can remove. You can probably use this method either by sending letters to each-other, or by writing e-mails or sending texts, so I think this game is definitely flexible in terms of how quickly you want to send messages to each-other, and how long you want the game to run.

Chronicle, by a.fell.

The world is coming to an end. It has been foretold, and so it shall be. We cannot stop it; we only wait, and observe, and recall.

This is a game to create a chronicle of a world, and to find the world again in the last seconds of its life. The game is different depending on which path you choose to take.

You will not play together. You might not play at the same time, or in the same place. You might not even know each other before you play this game.

When you play The Chronicler, you will play alone, across time, across worlds. There is foretelling that an end is coming. You are here to ensure that your life, your people, and your world, survive. The Witnesses will find your artifacts an unknowable amount of time later. They will observe, they will wonder, they will remember their own lives, and they will know you. The world they know is empty, and soon they, too, will be gone. But they will carry these moments with them.

Chronicle uses a tarot deck (or something similar) as an oracle, and requires some form of map for the Chronicler to add to. The Chronicler will draw from this deck to create the events, artifacts and messages from this world. Most of the Chronicler’s work is done by the time the Witnesses come into play, who will travel across the map, pick up artifacts left behind by the Chronicler, and use their own oracle decks to recall personal memories. Eventually, a cataclysm will fall, and the game will end.

Leaving Cambridge, by Nora Katz.

You were together once, a lifetime ago, in a place called Cambridge. It was a place you held dear—a place that you called home, even if just for a moment. But something strange or sinister happened, and now you are all gone, dispersed across countries, continents, and maybe even worlds. There are stories untold and things unsaid. This is your chance to say them. 

“Leaving Cambridge” is an intimate, asynchronous storytelling game that takes place through letters exchanged between a group of people who have parted ways. Over the course of a real-life calendar year, a group of players write letters to each other, piecing together what happened to them, trying to reconcile their checkered pasts with their current realities. As the letters arrive, this group of people will come to understand each other, and themselves, with more clarity—and, most likely, more questions. 

Leaving Cambridge is a setting-agnostic game, so you can set it at any time period and any technology level, as long as it is possible that all of the players at some point went to Cambridge together.. What remains true is that you were once friends, but you have since grown apart. You will draw from a deck of cards, with red cards reflecting memories you share and black cards representing your emotions. Writing will happen over four seasons, with an inciting reason for you to get back in touch with each-other, and generative prompts that encourage your characters to reveal pieces of themselves the longer that they write.

I’d Also Recommend…

When I Lived Here, by a grumpy little critter.

#tabletop games #indie ttrpgs #game recommendations #dnd #asks #epistolary games #indie ttrpg

[lavendermoonlitskies]

Fanfic Friday: fic recs!

Hiii everyone, happy Friday! I forgot that I made a post like this ages ago for fanfic Friday, but I’ve read a bunch since then so here are some recommendations of Good Omens fics I’ve enjoyed recently:

“Heaven isn't built to house a love like you and I” by ItsScottiesStark

Rating: T

Length: 37,291 (8 chapters)

Summary: They did it. They stopped Armageddon. They survived.

This was it, the first time they were actually free to finally figure out what their side entailed.

Aziraphale is a being of love. Always has been. And now, all the love he has for Crowley is free to flow from the edge of his fingertips to the demon's, in a gesture that could only mean one thing; I'm with you. I'm here.

As much as his hands itch to reach out for the love of his existence, his words seem to fail him, time and time again. He knows Crowley deserves more than gentle hand holding and forehead kisses in the dark. He aches to scream his love from the top of his lungs, for the whole world to hear. And the demon knows it.

And he waits. Because he'll wait forever for Aziraphale. Because he knows they are meant to be one.

This one is great at immediately grabbing your attention. It starts on the bus during that scene towards the end of season 1 where Aziraphale holds Crowley’s hand, which very smoothly leads in to this theme of physical contact and how although they’re both unfamiliar with it, it’s secretly something they both long for from the other. Without spoiling too much, they sort of subtly lean into this desire for physical affection in a way that’s incredibly sweet yet almost tragic with how hesitant they are at the start of it. You can tell that they want so desperately to let the other know how much they care, but they still don’t know if the other is on the same page (so “he waits. Because he’ll wait forever for Aziraphale.”). This writer is really great at conveying how much they really love each other, highly recommend!

“Twin Suns” by IneffableDoll

Rating: T

Length: 7,291 words (3 chapters)

Summary: “I thought you were gone,” Crowley mumbled, and it was almost cliché, it was almost the kind of sentimental rubbish he would’ve moaned at had he heard it from someone else. But they were the rawest words he could manage. He’d thought Aziraphale was gone. That was all, and it said everything.

***

Directly following their celebratory meal at the Ritz, Aziraphale and Crowley clash with the feelings that struggle to settle after everything they’ve been through. And, in so doing, learn to rely on and communicate with each other in new ways.

Similar in concept to the previous one I mentioned, this fic takes place after the events of season 1. They get into some real honest conversations (something I love reading in fics because the characters in canon are not at that point yet and I am HUNGRY for some emotional honesty from them), and something I really love about this one is how patient they are with each other. In chapter one Crowley says that he’s not ready for this conversation, and Aziraphale respects that. Without spoiling too much more, they’re both super careful with the other’s boundaries as they kind of start to think and talk more about the love they have for each other that they’ve never really gotten the chance to explore until now. I absolutely love how they take things nice and slow, attentive to how the other is feeling about all of this. This kind of love is a new concept for the both of them, but they wouldn’t want it with anyone else, and so they try. And I think that’s beautiful.

“Icebergs and Angels” by The_Bentley

Rating: T/M (two versions)

Length: 23,498/24,929 words (8 chapters each)

Summary: It's 1912 and Aziraphale, not wanting to be lonely during his mission aboard Titanic, invites Crowley along for a cruise. But he boards the ship before knowing exactly what his mission is. When he learns Heaven wants to teach humanity a lesson for the claim even God couldn't sink it, it could damage his relationship with Crowley, who has his own views on Heaven's need to punish innocents. Can he repair things with Crowley and can they work together to save as many lives as possible?

The concept of this one is so cool, and very much something I could see actually happening in the show as another historical flashback/mini-sode. Aziraphale is given a mission from Heaven that entails many humans losing their lives, he’s obviously not on-board with that, and Crowley is there to help him save as many human lives as possible because, as much as he’d hate to admit it, he really is a nice demon who very much disapproves of Heaven’s disregard for human life. Throughout this one you get to see how the two of them interact with the humans, all while Aziraphale is battling this inner conflict of wanting to just go along with Heaven’s orders without questioning it while simultaneously knowing that it’s wrong. The narration is great, beautifully written and I really felt like the writer understands these characters on a very deep level. There are two different versions of this one, both of which are fantastic. I personally felt that the more platonic/aroace approach to Aziraphale and Crowley’s relationship in the context of this particular story was more fitting, but if you’d like something a little spicier I thought that the Mature rated one was just as good! (I’m linking the non-spicy version here, but the link to the spicy one is in the summary!)

#good omens #good omens fic rec #good omens fanfic #good omens fic #good omens fanfic rec #fanfic #fanfic friday #fic recs #crowley #aziraphale #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #good omens fandom

[winepresswrath]

The.... the hate my baby correctly post??

BEHOLD

#i know there is more than one post which explores this theme! #but yes. anyway dage did some things wrong but so often not the ones he's accused of #he's not a hypocrite and he doesn't care that jgy's mom's a ho #in fact he cares too little and doesn't notice other people caring!!! #that is a huge subset of his problem with jgy. not all of it tho! in fact he could be perfectly sympathetic and understanding and the first #murder for personal would be a real stumbling block. they'd both need to change for this to work #also he's not a cop 😭😭😭 #he's a feudal warlord but then again if you make that the problem you have to be mad at all the other aristocrats #actually you know who would have had an amazing relationship? #baby xue yang and nie mingjue who was just wandering by one day and saw a street kid get his hand crushed and refused to shut up about it #he would be so annoying

[ambrosiagourmet]

I've been thinking about Laios' succubus lately. Mulling it over a bit.

Because I've seen these pages brought up a fair bit, but almost entirely in the context of shipping (on all sides, really). And I really want to understand what they are doing for the story beyond that.

When I went back to reread the scene and section, a few things caught my interest: the way Laios responds to both forms of his succubus, the themes of the volume the chapter is found in, and the other events of the chapter itself.

So let's dive into those three things, and what I think they say about the succubus scene's purpose.

Laios is never fully frozen by the succubus

So. If you compare Marcille and Chilchuck's reactions...

to Laios':

-

There is a difference. Sure, the basics may look the same once it turns into Scylla Marcille, but even then, it functions differently.

Chilchuck and Marcille are completely frozen once they catch sight of their succubus. Izutsumi, as well, isn't able to look away, and completely freezes up once her 'mom' starts talking to her. As Chilchuck describes, "just looking at them makes you unable to move."

And yet, Scylla Marcille has to actively convince Laios to comply. He even looks away from her at one point!

Laios accepts this succubus, but he is never actually helpless to it in the same way. Taken in? Convinced? Sure, at least enough to let things happen that he probably should question more than he does. But magically compelled? Not really. Not the same way as everyone else is. So that's interesting. But let's move on for now.

2. Volume 9 is all about drive and desire

I don't often look at chapters within the context of the volume they are included in, but I think there's some really fun things to be found with that perspective in mind.

For one, volume 9 starts with an exploration of what desire brought Laios to the dungeon:

And ends with a question of what desire brought Laios to the dungeon:

It's also very concerned in general with questions of why people do what they do. Why they are in the dungeon, why they are with the people they are with, why they stay, what they fight for.

In addition to Laios, we see it with Marcille...

Izutsumi

Kabru

and Mithrun

Hell, we even get it for the demon!

It's certainly not the only volume concerned with desires and motives, but it is particularly focused on these ideas.

The succubus scene fits quite well into the ongoing question about desires, especially Laios' desires. It is even placed at an interesting spot within the volume. The volume is six chapters long, and the scene takes place at the start of the 4th chapter. It's almost smack-dab in the middle.

With all this in mind, it is interesting that, with both versions of the succubus Marcille, it's not totally clear which parts of her Laios is rejecting.

The first version of Marcille looks human, but Laios attacks when he identifies her as a monster. The second Marcille looks like a monster, but he seems to believe that she is the real (human)(ish) person that he knows. So is he rejecting the monster at first, and then accepting the person? Or is he rejecting humanity and only interested in the monstrous?

Something to consider as we look at the next point...

3. the rest of the chapter is a seduction, too

This is one of those things that might not be apparent on a first reading, but is crystal clear on a revisit. We see the succubus try and charm Laios over 7 pages, and then see the Winged Lion do the same thing for the next 19.

Much like the succubus, it offers the mingling of monsters and humans. Much like the succubus, it offers belonging.

(and this is the point where I absolutely must also link this post by fumifooms on the succubus, which has some great ideas on how the scene is informed by Laios' trauma and desire for acceptance!!!)

But, back to the point. The Winged Lion wants to feed on Laios just as much as the succubus did, and it uses similar strategies to try and make that happen. Though this chapter isn't really the turning point for the next Lord of the Dungeon (it is Marcille who will, eventually, become the Lion's next victim), it certainly behaves like it is.

Laios is convinced. The succubus gets its meal. By the end of the volume, the reader begins to understand how concerning his desires are. Together, it is all very good at building up that sense of dread and pending disaster, as we see exactly how and why Laios might just fall into the Lion's open arms and bring about the end of the world.

-

So that's the three things I noticed. But there's still something I want to touch on by looking at the way these observations overlap, and what they reveal, together.

As I said, by the end of the volume, you can feel the tension growing. Just as Kabru and Mithrun do, you look back for an answer to the questions that have been built, chapter by chapter: why is Laios here? Where will his loyalties fall? This chapter, and scene, seem to prove the inevitable truth: he will choose the monster, of course. He will choose the seductive, easy power of the Winged Lion.

But the details of what actually happens tell different story: one in which the Lion is wrong.

First, as a reminder - even in Scylla Marcille mode, the succubus never fully entrances Laios. It convinces him, but it doesn't have him completely under its thrall.

Similarly, in the dream, the Lion does convince Laios to embrace the world he is offering. But even within that dream, Laios continues to ask questions that will be vital to him later. It is because of those questions that Laios comes to a new understanding about Thistle.

And it's this realization that he cites later as part of his reason for refusing the Lion's offer.

He is thinking through things the entire time, just like he continues to question the succubus even after it turns into Scylla Marcille.

Laios also expresses an interesting reason for why he wants to see the future of this world. He's not just invested because it would mean people liking what he likes, or him getting to spend time with monsters. The thought that comes immediately before his acceptance is about what he wants for monsters and people.

I don't think it's a coincidence that this statement - "we're living beings that share the same world, but all we can do is keep killing each other" - can apply to the various humans races just as much as it does to humans and monsters. The thing he is thinking about here isn't just a matter of his personal daydreams. It's an idea that underpins every conflict in the story.

Laios caring about how people as well as monsters in this manner is something that the Lion gets wrong every time. Even at the end, he still frames Laios' desires entirely around hating people and loving monsters.

The Lion has heard him express an opinion about the future of the world! It happened right there in the dream, right in front of him! He just didn't take it seriously, and didn't view it through any lens other than "Laios likes monsters more".

He's convinced that he understands how to get to Laios. Maybe the Lion can't truly see everything, or maybe his vision into everyone's deepest desires has made it hard for him to realize how much choice still matters. That people can, and do, choose which desires to act on, and how to act on them.

Whatever the case, he's wrong about Laios, and the story shows us this over and over again.

After all, look at how the succubus interaction plays out:

A monster uses Marcille to appeal to Laios...

He realizes that something about the situation is wrong, and rejects her.

It changes strategies, and makes new offer: to turn him into a monster.

It also assures him that his friends are, or will be, taken care of.

He accepts. Or rather, allows the monster to have its way with him.

But Laios is not as helpless as he initially appears, and what the Lion thinks is a successful seduction also contains the seed of an idea that will allow Laios to later resist him.

We even get to see Izutsumi playing a similar role in both instances, as the one person fully able to take action in the face to the illusion.

The story lays out what is going happen, and then explicitly tells us that the demon and the succubus are thematically related.

The chapter performs a great sleight of hand here - everything about it seems to indicate that Laios is doomed give in to the option to have his deepest desires realized. But if you look closer, it also contains the evidence that he won't. There's a lot more going on for him.

Yes, he still falls for obvious tricks. He is still extremely into monsters, and he still doesn't feel like he fits in with other people. He may, deep down, crave to surrender to the monstrous - to let it absorb him. But he questions more than he seems to. He considers more than people realize. He cares so much more than anyone gives him credit for.

And I think this is part of why we see the succubus called back to so many times, especially with the wolf head addition to his Monster Form, which he specifically added due to his encounter with the Scylla Marcille.

This all stays with Laios. It doesn't just foreshadow the path of the story, it is fundamental to how and why he walks that path. It's not about him choosing monsters, and it's not about him choosing people. It's about how he considers both, and cares about both.

And it's about the forces that think they already know his answer. Mithrun and Kabru. The Winged Lion. The succubus.

It's about how they are wrong.

#dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #dungeon meshi spoilers #laios touden #winged lion #dunmeshi analysis

[x-on-the-calendar-business]

exploring panic!'s a fever you can't sweat out/live in denver boxset

a couple of years ago, i managed to snag this for $150, which is still crazy to me, and it's definitely my favorite thing i've ever owned. i feel like i haven't seen many people detailing the contents of it, and since it's such a cool relic, i wanted to share this beauty with everyone.

it comes with the live in denver dvd (left) and a fever you can't sweat out cd (right). the cover art and discs are SO fucking pretty and cool i'm so obsessed with them. i love how it really feeds into that 20s/30s theme they had going on this era.

then it has these 4 photo cards which are all such beautiful photos. the first one especially is one of my all time favorite panic photos. the b&w filter also fits this era so well.

this is a phenakistiscope. you stand in front of a mirror and spin it around while looking through the cracks so it looks like the girl is dancing (instructions are included on the back).

this is a tour program for the live in denver tour. it includes all the tour dates, as well as a guide to their discography. including pictures of the inside would exceed my image limit, so if anyone wants a post detailing this item, i'd be more than happy to post that!

self explanatory but it's a mask reminiscent of the but it's better if you do music video.

there's this SUPER cool poster that i'd love to hang up on my wall but i'm too scared to in case it ruins it. i'm actually so obsessed with this thing.

this is something else i can't include detailed pictures of due to the image limit, but honestly there isn't a lot of lore or super interesting stuff inside of it. however, i'd still be happy to detail it more in another post.

there's this GORGEOUS notebook that i'm also too scared to actually do anything with. it is actually quite a thick notebook. i looove the detail of the "PANIC!" barely visible in the middle of the pages.

now onto my absolute favorite part of this thing:

these cards for each song on fever are SO fucking cool and i love them so much. they're printed on really nice material too; they don't feel cheap and have this grainy feel to them too (idk how else to describe it) and it works so well. luckily i'm able to post individual pictures of each one.

so the back of all of them have the lyrics printed like that but i won't be able to post pictures of that for each one.

they just all encapsulate the theme of each song perfectly while also fitting so well with the aesthetic that they had this era. like my jaw dropped when i saw these for the first time. (side note: i'm not sure why they numbered intermission as number 12 when it should be 8 based on the album. i also don't know why they skipped introduction since they included intermission).

all in all, this is the coolest piece of merch a band has ever put out imo. like no one is doing it like this anymore. i'd been yearning for it since i was 14 so i'm so glad i was able to find it as such a steal of a price. i'll never shut up about owning it and if you're able to get your hands on it i cannot recommend it enough.

#panic! at the disco #panic at the disco #ryan ross #jon walker #spencer smith #brendon urie #patd #live in denver #a fever you can't sweat out #afycso #now i just need the pretty odd boxset and it will be complete #but thats consistently $400 so it's gonna be a while #sorry it took me so long to post this btw

[larkingame]

hello all! been a moment since we last discussed some things, so I'm coming online to discuss the progress of Larkin's development and make a few announcements :)

over the last ten months, larkin has gone through a lot of changes, some of which I've documented here--but most of it I've kept pretty private. I realized that over the few short years I've been developing the game, I sort of grew an unhealthy dependence on my presence within the 'interactive fiction' community that I really, really needed to take a step back from and break, all in order to ensure that I could enjoy working on what originally started out as a passion project for me.

since july of last year, I've completely reshaped and rewritten how larkin exists as a project, shifted it's genre and started collaborating with a few others to ensure it can be of the highest quality it can possibly be. uptop, i'd like to mention @tapeworrmart who's taken on the immense task of putting together most of the game art for me, @khiita and @ann1a-1 who have both taken on the roles of my editors (and also sounding boards for when I am being absolutely insane) and my production manager phillip, who without his assistance, larkin would barely exist. with that, let's do a progress report. the intended demo of larkin, or what i've taken to calling 'episode one' (yes, i said, 'episode,' more on that in a minute) has stretched to just over 200k words worth of content. it stretches all the way from the earliest versions of larkin's original prologue, to the end of the original chapter two. so far, we've completed 3 out of the intended 20 character portraits, as well as some more art that's slowly been in development.

now, on to the announcements. probably the biggest, and the one I am most ashamed of is--due to the fact that I've been slammed with graduate school work and some other external factors, Larkin as it currently exists is not the best that I think it can be. I'm deeply sorry for this, but I want to ensure that you all are getting the highest quality game you could get from me--and right now, I know it's just not that. Which is why I am unfortunately, pushing the release of the demo back until Friday, June 14th, 2024. Patrons will be granted access to the most recent edit of the demo two weeks earlier on Friday, May 31st 2024. In the meantime, I will be working day and night (quite literally) to get what I'm dropping on you up to par and something that I'm happy with.

To make up for this disappointment, I'm planning on repopulating the blog with a lot of content over the coming months, rewriting new versions of old asks, posting art and short stories.

Next on the agenda and also an equally important announcement. I'm changing the rating of Larkin to Mature or 18+ As I've been writing these past few months, working through a lot of themes and figuring out the story I want to tell, I've found that I think the change in rating is entirely necessary. While I don't think I've ever had that big of a minor fanbase--I think that this is just what I am most comfortable doing. There has consistently grown a little bit more of gore, and trauma exploration, which is the main reason for this change in rating, but, this does allow for the inclusion of something that I've been toying with since the intial release of the game. There is going to be explicit sex scenes in this new version of Larkin--all of which, you the player are able to opt out of, or completely avoid if that's something you want--but I just thought a little announcement would be warranted. This does not mean however, I am comfortable with answering thoroughly explicit asks or getting unsolicited sexual messages. The goal is to keep this game blog mainly tame.

Please respect this boundary of mine.

Third thing to be announced. I've also changed the format in which Larkin will be released. Rather than around the twenty-five chapters in one of a series of 'Books'/'Games', Larkin will be released episodically over four 'seasons' with eight-ten episodes of around 200k-250k words each (though, this is just an early estimate--they could grow longer, as I'm basing this purely off the demo/Episode One)

Finally and a little bit of a fun note: there are now twelve romance options throughout larkin, five male, three female, one non-binary and three gender-selectable. With those upcoming asks, you'll hear more about each in the coming days :)

With all that being said, I wanted to lastly thank all of you for supporting me over the years and putting faith and your interest in this project. truly, the support of all of you means the world to me and I can't wait to share more of larkin with you all.

thank you 💖

#larkin game #larkin if #larkin #announcement #game announcement #blog update #interactive fiction #if #cyoa #cyoa game #twine interactive fiction #twine #twine game #sugarcube twine

[writingwithcolor]

Judaism, Angels, and Monstrosity

@neapolitangirl asked:

I'm writing a story about the angel Muriel traveling through a world inspired by American folklore (Ex. The Bell Witch, Fearsome Critters, etc) while hunting demons. I wanted to draw inspiration from the legend that says Muriel and Abaddon are one and the same because I thought it was interesting. However, I also know that Abaddon is important to Jewish cosmology and wanted to avoid any unfortunate implications. Muriel is very skittish and kind of a coward, but turns into the more violent and vengeful Abaddon in the presence of demons. Appearance-wise both Muriel and Abaddon are tall and skinny, but Muriel is more like an owly-human while Abaddon is a spiky skeletal being. Would this be connecting Judaism to monstrosity? Also, is there anything else I should try to avoid?

So…angelology, the whole idea of angels with names and personalities and individual jobs, is just…not something the average Jewish person thinks or cares about, even the ones who know a little about it. Not that it’s bad, it’s just not something that is prominent enough that it would have tropes attached that we might be able to warn you against.

That said, we’re posting on the Niche Scholarship and Special Interest website, so if there’s a reader who happens to have a lot of knowledge and feelings about Jewish angelology we would welcome the contribution and specialized expertise.

As it stands, my instinct is to give these more general considerations:

Balancing Jewish and Christian Elements

To what degree are you trying to tell a Jewish story, a Christian story that does not harm Jewish readers, or a story strongly influenced by Christian ideas about the heavens in a way that does not harm Jewish readers? How does deciding where you fall among those distinctions affect how you construct your story, and how you portray your angels?

Jewish Concept of God and Angelic Appearances

To Jews, God Godself does not have a physical body or visible appearance. If you’re describing the appearance of God as you’re navigating your angel-centering narrative, you’re squarely outside the territory of inclusivity toward Jewish readers. That’s okay, if you’re clear with readers that you’re not telling a Jewish story. It’s not okay if you’re trying to conflate Jewish and Christian ideas into a single narrative when they are often incompatible.

Angelic Appearances and Jewish Scripture

Angels might have appearances, and some descriptions of some types of angels in some Jewish scriptures have body parts of various animals. I haven’t the foggiest clue if it matters to anyone what appearances belong to which angels, so if it matters to someone reading this I hope they will speak up.

Are angels Jewish? This is a subject that could make for a fun discussion among Jewish people as a way of exploring the nature of Jewishness, but in your narrative you will have to think this through in your own way. If your angels engage in Jewish practices, then what does that look like and why, and if they don’t, why don’t they? The answer to that may of course be “Because I’m not actually telling a Jewish story.”

Christian Themes and Sensitivity to Jewish Culture

It’s okay to not be telling a Jewish story. But in that case keep in mind what demonstrations of Jewishness you include in a Christian story.

Especially, if you’re depicting a divine Jesus, or a Jesus character with any type of more-than-human powers or ancestry, or you are including any reference to the idea that Christianity might be in any way objectively correct, then you must tread EXTREMELY CAREFULLY with including any depiction of Jewish practice in your work, as the line where depiction turns to appropriation is in that case extremely near.

In all things, try and avoid depicting Jewish humans and any character who might be Jewish or be seen as Jewish in ways that are otherwise harmful: we’ve often talked about tropes around greed, sneakiness, power-grabbing, gender and sexual dynamics, and other tropes that apply to portrayals of Jewish characters. If your angels are Jewish, or Jew-ish in flavor, that goes for them as well.

Again, I know absolutely zero about Muriel and Abbadon and am not very interested in learning more as their lore has zero bearing on my Jewish practice in any way, and that’s a somewhat important point to me to be making because…2J3O. Two Jews, three opinions. So again, if a reader does in fact have knowledge and opinions about the specific angels themselves, please speak up.

–Meir

#Judaism #Christianity #Angels #supernatural beings #Jewish culture #asks

[inlandempir]

post on one of the dev forums for disco elysium, titled "THE BENEFITS OF A MODERN FANTASY WORLD". text version beneath the cut

There's been a lot of art and tech talk so far, it's all kinda dry or saccharine. I think it's time to juice it up by throwing in a proper essay.

THE BENEFITS OF A MODERN FANTASY WORLD

The world of No Truce! (we do have a proper name for it, but we’re shy) is not what you’d call “a generic genre world”. It is not pseudo-medieval stasis, as Forgotten Realms was, nor is it Fallout’s campy barbarism with guns. It is also not a Harry Potter/Batman/vampire fantasy world, which is basically “our world with a secret/special world within it”. Neither is it the tech-obsessed ‘punks’ of steam and cyber. It’s a modern fantasy world, a fantasy world in its modernity, which roughly corresponds to the middle part of our XXth century. Now that kind of thing opens up an array of new possibilities. It is a world with a promise of non-staticness, meaning, things appear undecided — they could go one way or the other. It is close enough to our own world for things to have meaning in it, it is a proper frame in which to explore themes relevant to our own society such as bigotry, power relations, politics, bureaucratic apparati, geopolitical relations, philosophy, ideology, religion et cetera. A pseudo-medieval world is not a proper frame for truly exploring themes of, for example, sexuality, for it lacks 1) a proper concept of sexuality, 2) an actual idea of societal progress and 3) a clear ideological dominant, which would be the place where values come from. All you can do in a static, societally unstructured world is give out-of-place shoutouts to present day communities for cheap popularity (“this is exactly my sexual orientation, how did they know?!”).

We find the ideological dominant missing because the western world is traditionally culturally critical of ideological dominants – critical of both state and religion. Anyhow, a classic fantasy world would feature two main ideologies – the “good” and the “evil”, of which the former is selfless and compassionate, but the other one is selfish and cruel. The attempts to overcome that have given us the Grittywelt – a world in which everyone is an asshole and pessimism rules the day. Unsurprisingly, Grittywelt is also static as hell and meaningful change is foreclosed from it. It is a “protection from false hopes”. As such, it is heavily unrealistic. Much more realistic would be people living in super gritty conditions, but not looking the part, that is, not really noticing the abnormal harshness of their conditions, because they don’t have much to compare them to, and being hopeful towards the next day, because surprise! This is how you do it. Survive, I mean. Being depressed is a luxury. In a way, I’d say we’re trying to create the obverse of the Grittywelt – a world in which everyone is empathizable, sort of a hero of their own story.

The modern era is also a fitting vessel for anachronisms – do we not have actual cyborg limbs and donkey-pulled carts operating in the same world at the modern era? Capitalism can also contain little feudalisms in a way, in which a single man or single family controls the entire economy of a town or a village and profits from it. And at the same time, it can also contain little socialist utopias, scientist villages, in which everything is provided by the State. Aside from being a basic feature of reality (anachronism is nothing more than time failing to fit the stereotype about it), it is also a lovable creative tool, allowing for a plethora of what-if-scenarios. Imagine a modern world, only without television; imagine a modern world in which there never was a global war, imagine a world in which fossil fuels are less available. Now, if you will, imagine one which has forgotten its antiquity, and one, in which there is not just water between the continents, but something worse as well — an anti-reality mass we call “pale” (also more on that later). Now imagine one, which has a legitimate and operative “religion of history” in place, which seeks for people it deems special enough to be the “vessel of progress”. (This is not an alternate history thing, by the way. An alternate history takes place in our world quite recognizably and has no more than one divergence point from history as it happened.)

One might ask, why would we not create an even more modern world, if we wanted to maximise our possibilities? Well one of the answers is that it would have destroyed the necessary element of escapism, another is that we cannot create a good alternate Information Era because we ourselves fail to understand the Information Era (More precicely, we have the information era in its infancy and it works via radio relays). We are too close to it and it is too new to understand it, it is “in progress”. The third reason would be that technology is not a fascinating subject for modern science fiction. It’s become a natural part of our reality. We don’t believe it’s going to save us anymore – it has failed to deliver for too long. I am of the belief that the themes of science fiction today are societal, political and psychological (one could maybe add aesthetical to it, for we also love the world for its beauty). All fantastic or sci-fi elements are means for best exploring those themes.

I have filled my page. That’s all for the time being. Thank you for reading.

Martin Luiga Writer

#posts #disco elysium #martin luiga #im looking for a specific thing from the devblogs so yall can get some highlights

[burntheedges]

Maintenance Request: Chapter 14

Joel Miller x f!reader | new chapter every Friday 18+ | ao3 | main post & chapter list chapter word count: 3.9k

chapter summary: you (1:17 AM): staying the night 😇 a/n: thank you as always to @katareyoudrilling for being the best beta 💕  chapter tags/warnings: flirting, banter, fluff, cursing, pet names (honey, baby, gorgeous, darlin’, my smart girl, my pretty girl, my good girl, sweetheart, handsome, cowboy), fondling, kissing, cuddling, dirty talk, mention of hickes/sex bruises, mention of (consensual) somnophilia, mention of breasts

Chapter 14

Friday, October 25 (still) Ninth week of the semester

Lying in bed next to Joel was something you didn’t know you’d been missing until you had it. You set your phone aside after you texted Beth that you were staying over and immediately curled back into his arms. He held you tightly and buried his face in your neck. “You feel good in my arms like this, sweetheart.” He pressed short kisses along your hairline and you smiled.

After a few moments Joel managed to pull away and stand beside the bed. He leaned down to grab your hand. “Think we could both do with a quick clean up, before we pass out.” You sighed, but nodded, knowing he was right. “I’ll use Sarah’s, mine’s just in there — go right ahead.” He gestured towards his en suite bathroom before turning and heading down the hall, stark naked. You grinned as you watched him go.

You perked up a bit at the opportunity to explore another of his spaces. Flicking the light on, you realized it was another nice, well-planned room. Tidy, and you wondered if he had cleaned for you after all, or if it was always like this. The theme was clearly blue, just blue, as everything inside was a shade of blue, down to the accent tile and the shower curtain. You quickly took the opportunity to clean up — it was thoughtful of Joel, to realize you’d need to pee after, and you wondered how many long-term partners he’d had before — and then poked around a bit. His drawers were a bit messy but not overcrowded, and you found an extra toothbrush in a multipack under the sink.

Stepping forward to grab his toothpaste, you finally caught sight of yourself in the mirror and your mouth dropped open. You looked wrecked. Every inch of you absolutely screamed “well-fucked”. You had hickies on your neck — so many more than you remembered getting, especially down your collarbone — and as you poked at them, you realized there was a light bruise in the shape of his hand on your hip, which pleased you greatly. Your lips were swollen and tender and your eyes were wide. You looked as worked over as you felt.

You quickly brushed your teeth, and were inspecting your reflection again when Joel stepped into the bathroom behind you. You smiled, taking him in. He looked wrecked, too. His lips were puffy, and his hair was absolutely ridiculous. And you’d left your own marks behind.

He leaned against the doorframe behind you and winked. “Hey there, gorgeous.”

You leaned your weight to one side and met his eyes in the mirror. “Hey there, yourself, handsome.” You tilted your head in question and raised your eyebrow when he didn’t move or come closer. He shook his head.

“I was about to offer you some clothes to wear to sleep, but now I’m just thinking about how good you look, standing naked in my bathroom. Maybe I’ll just keep you here, just like this.” You laughed. 

“Might get cold,” you teased. 

He finally pushed off the wall and stepped towards you, wrapping his arms around your waist and bringing his chest flush with your back, all while maintaining eye contact in the mirror. “I’d keep you warm, honey.” You shivered when he kissed your shoulder.

“You’ve been using that one more,” you pointed out, running your hands up and down his forearms. 

He rested his chin on your shoulder and smiled. “‘Cause I can see how much you like it, you know.” You smiled, a bit sheepish. “It’s not your favorite, but I think we’ll reserve that one for moments just between us.”

“Oh? And which one is that?” You knew before you asked, of course, but you wanted to hear him say it again.

“Mmm,” he rumbled, and nipped at your neck. “My smart girl knows exactly which one it is.” You grinned. He was right. Any combination of “my” and “girl” was your favorite, but he was also right that maybe you’d save it for when you could be alone. Possibly with a bed. Especially when he called you his good girl. You shivered again at the thought. He noticed and smirked. 

His right hand traveled slowly up your torso to cup your breast, and you arched your back a bit in response. “I promise I will give you some clothing, honey, I’m just appreciating what I’ve got in front of me, for a minute.” 

You shook your head. “I’m appreciating you right back, Joel.” You nudged your hips backwards and felt his soft cock twitch against your ass.

He laughed. “Ok, ok, let’s go. No more of that tonight. Well… not right now, anyway.” He stepped back from you and lightly squeezed your ass cheek as he ushered you in front of him, back into the bedroom.

He’d gotten some clothes out and laid them on the bed, though he’d obviously gotten distracted from even putting on his own briefs by the sight of you in his bathroom. He took a moment now to slip them on as he handed you a large t-shirt that said “Miller Bros.” across the back. You held it up questioningly. “You got a side business, Mr. Hot Construction Guy?” He laughed. 

“Used to be in business with my brother. Still am, sort of, he just runs it now. I wanted something with steadier hours for Sarah, and something that would let me actually use my degree.” You nodded, despite still not knowing what his degree was in. You decided you’d ask later, you were too tired. You knew you’d want to ask him way too many questions if you started now. Your curiosity would get the better of you and you’d never get to sleep.

You slipped the shirt on and decided you’d go commando. He’d apparently changed out the sheets while you’d been dithering in his bathroom, and the easy domesticity of it made you smile. He was good at taking care of you.

Joel sat down on the bed and invited you down beside him after you shut off the light. “I did a quick run downstairs and made sure the door was locked ’n everything.” He murmured, pulling you towards him. 

“Naked?” You teased, and he laughed.

“C’mere, honey,” Joel tugged you back down by the waist and you went willingly. He pulled you into him, spooning you, his warmth pressing into you from neck to toes. He nuzzled into your shoulder. “You fit so well in my arms, gorgeous. Such a perfect fit.” You sank into his arms and his praise and smiled. 

“Your arms feel good around me, Joel.” He pressed kisses up your neck to your chin and he lightly nipped at your jaw before pressing a soft kiss in the same spot. You squeezed his hand with your own and twisted your hips until your ass was pressed firmly against him. He sighed.

“Let’s get to bed, honey, I have plans for you in the morning.”

“In the morning?” You let a little bit of a whine into your voice. “Hmm that’s too far away.”

He laughed. “Well what do you want me to do, darlin’, wake you up in the middle of the night?” You bit your lip. It was one of your favorite things, but you didn’t want to ask him for too much, too soon. You had to trust someone, to even want it. 

But this was Joel. You decided you’d at least bring it up.

“Well, you could.” He stilled. “Wake me up, I mean. Anyway you’d like.” You felt his cock twitch against you again and you smiled. “With your fingers, maybe. Or your mouth.” You pressed back into him again. “Or your cock.” Suddenly his arms tightened around you and he groaned. 

“Shit, honey, can’t say things like that to me,” he thrust his hips forward, but you could feel that his cock was still soft. “Too old to get hard again so fast, baby, not after the way you wore me out. But, um,” he trailed off, and you squeezed his hand again to urge him on. “You’d really want that?” You nodded, biting your lip. He moved his mouth to your ear. “Baby, I would love to give that to you. But maybe I want to talk about it a little more first.” 

You smiled. He was too good. “Alright. we can talk about it.”

“And not while we’re in bed.” You nodded, agreeing. “Goodnight, gorgeous.” You sank into him, letting your fatigue wash over you. The last thing you heard before you slipped over the edge was his voice, murmuring, “ain’t never letting go of this.” 

...

Saturday, October 26 Ninth week of the semester

The first thing you registered the next morning was warmth. The second thing was Joel.

He was plastered along your back, knees tucked up behind yours, arm solid around your waist. You could feel his breath on the back of your neck and you shivered. You stretched a little, wondering if you did have time for a bit more fun this morning, and glanced at his clock.

Shit.

You’d both had hopes for the morning, but you woke to the realization that neither of you had bothered to set an alarm the night before. 

“Joel,” you murmured, patting his arm. You cleared your throat. “Joel.” You said his name louder this time, and he made a questioning noise that sounded a little bit like your name, still clearly half-asleep. “Joel, we overslept. It’s 9:30.”

He started, and said, “darlin’, what?” His arm curled tighter around you and you felt his hardening cock nudge against your naked ass as his hips thrust forward.

“Joel.” You reached back and pinched his hip, and he jumped. 

“Sweetheart–”

“Joel, it’s 9:30.”

He froze, and then suddenly sat up. “Shit.” He sighed, and ran a hand over his face, before looking down at you. You rolled onto your back to look up at him, and realized your borrowed t-shirt was almost completely bunched up above your breasts. And you weren’t wearing anything else.

Joel clearly noticed this as well and groaned, leaning down to rest his forehead on your sternum.

“9:30? Shit, honey, I have to get Sarah in an hour.” He pressed a gentle kiss to your chest and you sighed, bringing your hands up to card them through his hair.

“Guess we should get up now, hmm? Don’t want you to be late to get her.”

“Yeah,” he agreed, but he didn’t sound happy about it. “I had big plans for you this morning, sweetheart. Next time I’m setting an alarm.” You smiled. Next time. “Don’t know how I’m supposed to let you out of my arms, looking like this in my bed.” His gaze traveled over your exposed body and you squirmed.

“Do we have time to shower?” You could feel how much you needed one.

“We do,” he leaned in to kiss you softly, “but only one shower.” He raised his eyebrows at you and you laughed.

“Joel, if you wanted to shower together, all you had to do was ask.”

“’s’at right? Ok, then. Baby, come shower with me. Please? Let me rub you down, get you nice and clean.” His voice lowered as he leaned towards your ear, finishing his plea with a kiss to your neck. 

“Mmm, you gonna clean me up, cowboy?”

“Well, I reckon it’s only fair. I did get you mighty dirty, after all.” He grinned, proud of himself, and you laughed.

“Alright, then, take me away.” He stood and pulled you up with him, guiding you by hand into the bathroom. Inside, he guided you to stand by the toilet while he turned on the shower. “I’ll grab clothes for when we’re done, so you can take care of what you need to, I’ll give you a minute.” You smiled at his thoughtfulness.

When he returned, you were stripping out of his Miller Bros. shirt. You felt his hands slip around your waist as you pulled the shirt over your head.

“Mmm, I said this last night, but you look good in my home, darlin’. And in my shirt” 

You smiled and kissed him. “C’mon, Joel, we are so gross right now.” He laughed, and nodded, letting you step into the shower first. He followed behind and slid the glass door shut behind him. His shower was large and spacious, with clean, off white tile and amazing water pressure. 

“This is lovely, Joel.” 

He grinned. “Did it myself. Sarah kept telling me the old bathroom was ‘so ugly, dad, oh my god,’ so I let her help me redesign it and she helped a little bit with the actual renovation.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Until she got bored, anyway.” You laughed. “But she’s got a good eye for design.” 

He let you stand under the spray, let the hot water rinse all the evidence of your evening away. 

“I’m afraid your options for soap are smelling like me or smelling like Sarah, and she’s still into that shit that smells like strawberries and sugar. And to be honest, baby, I think I’m not too into the idea of you two smelling the same.” 

You laughed, agreeing. “Joel, I’d rather smell like you, anyway.” He grinned.

Joel produced a washcloth and did as he promised — he washed you, gently, and got every inch of you clean. His care for you was obvious in his movements, and it felt a lot like that word you weren’t letting yourself even think yet. You let yourself sink into the feeling anyway.

When he was done you made him lean down so you could wash his hair, and then helped him rinse it out afterwards. He looked ridiculously hot with his hair wet and curling around his face, and you told him so. He smiled and actually blushed, which was just charming after the dirty way he’d talked to you while fucking you into the mattress the night before. 

After getting clean, you stepped into his arms and squeezed. He held you for a moment under the warm spray, humming. “This has been the best first date of my life, sweetheart.” You nodded. 

“Mine too, Joel.” 

“When can we go on another one?” 

You laughed. “When are you free?

“Hmm,” he looked thoughtful as he turned off the water and opened the shower door to grab a towel. He wrapped it around your shoulders and started to dry you off. “Sarah and I are having movie night tonight, but tomorrow she and Tommy are watching some show they both love that I can’t stand. You free tomorrow night?” 

You grinned. That was sooner than you’d dared to hope for. “I am.” 

He closed the towel around you and pulled you forward into a kiss. “Perfect.”

He pointed out the clothes he’d left you — sweatpants and a t-shirt, this time — before reaching for his own towel.

“I could just put my own clothes on, to go home.” 

He tilted his head, considering. “You could wear my shirt with your pants from yesterday if you want, honey, but I don’t mind you taking my clothes with you.” You shrugged and agreed, and went to find your pants, wherever they’d ended up. You’d have to go commando, which made you wrinkle your nose, but your underwear from last night was a lost cause, both in that you’d soaked through them and that they were actually lost — you had no idea where they were in Joel’s bedroom. 

Once you were dressed, the two of you headed down the stairs for Joel to drive you home. You checked your phone while he gathered Sarah’s soccer stuff and found you had 5 text messages from Beth.

bestie (8:47 AM): you better be getting dicked down so good you forgot your name (8:48 AM): since you haven’t texted me yet to tell me you’re still alive this morning

(9:07 AM): you better be having the BEST SEX OF YOUR LIFE

(9:28 AM): best friend, requesting proof of life

(9:47 AM): 10 more minutes or I’m coming over there

The last one was sent just four minutes ago, and you laughed. Joel looked at you, but you just gestured at your phone. “Beth is checking on me, and being ridiculous.” He smirked.

you (9:51 AM): I’m alive, you absolute dork

bestie (9:51 AM): SHE LIIIIIVES (9:51 AM): well? was it?

you (9:52 AM): what

bestie (9:52 AM): the best dicking of your life?

you(9:53 AM): 🙄 you’re the most ridiculous person I’ve ever met

bestie (9:53 AM): …

you (9:54 AM): … yes

bestie (9:54 AM): I KNEW IT (9:55 AM): that man just carries himself like he knows what to do with it

you (9:55 AM): 🤦‍♀️

bestie (9:56 AM): am I right or am I right

you (9:56 AM): … (9:56 AM): you’re right

bestie (9:57 AM): of course I am (9:57 AM): i’m always right

you (9:58 AM): he’s about to drive me home. he has to go get Sarah (9:58 AM): and then we’re going to dinner tomorrow

bestie (9:58 AM): hell yeah (9:59 AM): that man is in. to. YOU

you (9:59 AM): I thought the forbidden thought earlier

bestie (9:59 AM): it’s way too early for that babe

you (10:00 AM): no, I know but I just mean (10:00 AM): I thought it and it didn’t scare me, you know? (10:00 AM): it was exciting instead. like it could be exciting and fun (10:01 AM): to get there together (10:01 AM): like it could be good

(10:03 AM): Beth hello

bestie (10:03 AM): I’m just (10:03 AM): so proud of you

you (10:04 AM): omg

bestie (10:04 AM): that’s so great, I’m so happy for you (10:05 AM): I teared up a little (10:05 AM): I think this is going to be really good for you babe (10:05 AM): Joel seems like a good guy

you (10:06 AM): he is

bestie (10:06 AM): ok find me one next

you (10:06 AM): well (10:07 AM): he does have a brother (10:07 AM): but apparently he’s a mess

bestie (10:08 AM): no thanks (10:08 AM): I’m not in the market for a fixer upper

you (10:08 AM): lol

Your conversation with Beth carried you through leaving Joel’s house and getting into his car. You only realized after you’d backed out of his driveway that you hadn’t gotten to see the garden.

“Joel!” He startled and almost stopped the car. 

“What? What is it?”

“You promised me a garden tour! And the video!” 

He pulled up to a stop sign and stared at you. “Honey, I thought something terrible had happened.”

“What, in the five minutes we’ve been in the car?”

He started laughing. “Jesus. ‘Bout gave me a damn heart attack.” You started laughing too, and Joel shook his head and drove through the intersection. 

“I figured we don’t have enough time for the video or a tour, sorry, honey.” He reached over and squeezed your thigh, and sighed. 

“Yeah, but I do want that tour, Joel. And to watch the video.”

He nodded. “I promise, darlin’, next time you come over, we’ll do the whole thing.” 

You smiled. “Deal.”

Joel really did live pretty close to you, you realized, as he arrived at your apartment complex less than fifteen minutes later. You asked if he wanted to come up, but he shook his head.

“If I come inside, darlin’, I’ll never get Sarah in time.” But he did get out and meet you at the passenger door.

“I thought you weren’t coming inside,” you teased. 

“M’not. But I do want a goodbye kiss,” he murmured, leaning in close to pin you against the side of the truck. You smiled at him as he cupped your cheek in his hand. He leaned in and pressed his lips to yours gently, once, twice, and on the third time he lingered. You slipped your arms around his waist and under his shirt. He hummed. “Can’t keep this up, baby, or I’ll end up chasing you inside.” 

You smiled and pushed him back slightly. “Go get your daughter, Joel. And tell her I say hi.”

He nodded. “I’ll call you later.” He kissed you again, quickly.

“You’d better.”

He stepped away from you, letting you walk past him towards your apartment. At your front door you turned to find him leaning back against the truck himself, watching you go. You waved and went inside.

…

Joel (10:32 AM): I don’t know how I’m going to wait until tomorrow to see you again, honey.

you (10:33 AM): you just saw me 10 minutes ago when you dropped me off, smooth talker

Joel (10:35 AM): It’s just the truth. Miss you already.

you (10:35 AM): 💕 (10:36 AM): call me later

(10:36 AM): and tell Sarah I say hi

Joel: (10:41 AM): I will. Can’t wait, gorgeous.

…

you (10:27 AM): I’m home

bestie (10:28 AM): you SLUT (10:28 AM): TELL ME EVERYTHING

you (10:29 AM): rude (10:29 AM): maybe I won’t tell you anything

bestie (10:30 AM): RUDE (10:30 AM): was it good

you (10:31 AM): Beth (10:31 AM): it was so fucking good

bestie (10:33 AM): I KNEW IT

you (10:45 AM): are you busy? dinner? he’s going to call me later after movie night with his daughter and we’re going out again tomorrow and I have SO MUCH TO TELL YOU

bestie (10:53 AM): you think I’m waiting until dinner? I’m 15 minutes away

you (10:54 AM): you’re ridiculous

bestie (10:55 AM): I have coffee (10:55 AM): and donuts

you (10:56 AM): … I’ll allow it

bestie (10:56 AM): like you could stop me

…

you (10:50 AM): morning, sunshine! what are you doing today

Ellie (10:55 AM): hanging out with Riley! 

you (10:55 AM): ooh fun

Ellie (10:56 AM): how was your date??

you (10:57 AM): it was really good. I heard a new local band you might like. he taught me to dance 😵‍💫

Ellie (10:58 AM): were you actually bad at it

you (10:58 AM): rude! I was… fine

Ellie

(10:58 AM): sure (10:59 AM): at least I didn’t make a joke about you ~dancing~

you (10:59 AM): Ellie! (10:59 AM): 🙄

Ellie (11:00 AM): I mean it’s pretty late in the morning already I figure you had a ~sleepover~

you (11:01 AM): I’m not going to talk to you about that

Ellie (11:01 AM): omg you did!!!

you (11:02 AM): ells I’m really not going to talk to you about that

Ellie (11:02 AM): lol like I want to know (11:03 AM): gross (11:03 AM): are you going on another date

you (11:04 AM): tomorrow

Ellie (11:04 AM): wow (11:05 AM): I mean I knew you liked him because you’ve been pretty pathetic about it but he’s a good guy right

you (11:06 AM): thanks 🙄 but yeah he’s a good guy (11:06 AM): like an actual good one. like I’d introduce you and wouldn’t be worried about it

Ellie (11:07 AM): hmm (11:07 AM): ok ill give him a chance or whatever

you (11:08 AM): thanks Ellie (11:08 AM): Beth is about to come over and accost me

Ellie (11:10 AM): good luck with that

...

a/n: next Friday -- the second date? prev | next

tag list: @jupiter-soups @ilovepedro @auteurdelabre @anoverwhelmingdin @myloveistoolittle @iknowisoundcrazy @beezusvreeland @screechingphantommaker @bigboiseason123 @joelalorian @untamedheart81 @ashleyfilm @jessthebaker @jeewrites @fluffygoffpanda @paleidiot @mithicakurogo

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller smut #tlou fic #joel miller fic #maintenance request fic #JHCGBDM

[laurashapiro-noreally]

Looking for something to read?

Oh look, it's another recs post! This time I'm featuring two stories per author. These are writers I always make time for, whose work stands out as unusually hot, clever, funny, or smart -- sometimes all of the above.

I'm gonna start you out strong with two by @werpiper: After Hours takes Aziraphale and Crowley to the baths after their oyster supper, and all sorts of interesting pleasures are there for our angel to sample. Piper's Crowley is one of my favorites: always evaluating the situation, not quite aware of what his own heart is doing but feeling it anyway.

Fitting In is a new story, still a WIP, but I am utterly tantalized by Muriel's first taste of love -- and tea. This is already rich in detail, soft and fragrant, and I can hardly wait for the action to get going in earnest. The pairing seems surprising but when you think about it for ten seconds of course it makes sense. Sex workers help the curious, the awkward, and the inexperienced every day, bless them.

If you enjoy these, check out @werpiper's back catalog -- they have done a ton of ineffables-through-the-ages, and their series Miracles and Heresy is worth many delightful hours of your time.

I love what @copperplatebeech has been doing lately:

He's Not My Friend is a T-rated story that explores Aziraphale's constant refusal to acknowledge his relationship with Crowley, and Crowley's mirror of that, and how things glacially shift over time. It is subtle and yet specific, it will make you ache and smile.

All Of The Above, also T-rated, is a warm and fuzzy alternative to that, a hilarious celebration of true friendship that made me laugh out loud and still got me right in the feels.

@copperplatebeech can do everything, from quiet, gentle, and romantic to devastating plotty AUs to extraordinarily horny established relationship to absolutely ridiculous humor. Do dive in if you haven't already.

Next up, @cumaeansibyl, master of kink:

better living through technology manages to shove everything I want in a dirty story into less than three thousand words: uptight Aziraphale reduced to sodden wreck, Crowley gleefully showing him what he's been missing, character-driven erotics, and exceptionally funny dialogue.

indulgentiam peccatorum nostrorum is somehow all that and more, turning the "I was wrong" dance into a kink (something I can't get enough of, recs welcome). This one is post-Bastille so it is extra-juicy. Mind the tags!

@cumaeansibyl has a gift for established relationship one-shots, which readers of mine will know are my entire jam. They also have a mind-meltingly hot inverse!omens AU that features different variations of angelic/demonic Crowleys and Aziraphales for our ineffables to play with.

A new-to-me author, Calico, has me hanging by a thread with their Ineffable Romans series. If you want to remember that your ineffables aren't human, that they are inordinately clever but very stupid, that the feelings they have for each other are truly beyond what anyone alive has ever felt, Calico may be the writer for you. This stuff is deep. Also hot af.

Sub Rosa reads like a nasty shag at Petronius', but there's so much more going on here. It is Extremely Queer, driven by power dynamics, and Crowley is fully demonic here and absolutely in control...or is he?

The Intemperance of Liber Pater continues on this theme, with dialogue-driven smut that reads less like a seduction than an inevitability. There's another story in this series, unfinished, and I can't wait to see what happens next.

Last but not least: two short pieces by @ineffabildaddy. I stumbled on their stories just this week and I absolutely love their approach, which I've not seen done quite this way before.

take me as your wife has a tight first-person perspective as Crowley meets Aziraphale for a meal and imagines (or is it his imagination?) that Aziraphale is suggesting Certain Things about how they might occupy themselves later. Indeed, is he suggesting even more? Something about their relationship? Or is it all in Crowley's head?

Only in Dreams is kind of a companion piece, from Aziraphale's point of view -- though hundreds of years later. This one's set after the events of S2 and although just as romantic as take me as your wife, it also offers an ineffable take on the ol' glory hole concept. Just in case you thought I was getting soft. 😏

@ineffabildaddy has a whole series of poems and ficlets like these and I can't wait to explore them all.

#good omens #fic recs #good omens fic recs #ineffable husbands #ineffable partners #ineffable spouses #ineffable divorce #smut #fanfiction #fanfic #crowley #aziraphale #aziracrow #crowley x aziraphale #rare pair #muriel

[peanutpinet]

Love is A Beauty - Mafia! Johnny x innocent, traumatic fem reader - 100th Tumblr Post

A/N: this is the 100th Tumblr Post and I’m dedicating it to another comfort idol, the one that probably heals so many others’ broken inner childhood, Johnny :’)

Was inspired by a Tom Holland mafia fic that I read (was called ‘Call Me King’) and @smileysuh Johnny fic: Lone Digger

Pairings: Mafia/CEO! Johnny Suh x Innocent! Fem Reader

Warnings: cursing, human trafficking, shitty ex-relationship, traumatic events, sexual themes, degrading names, cursing, brutal torture, guns, implied death, fire, burning (not literally), kidnapping, angst :)) I swear there are also some fluff scenes

Summary: Johnny Suh is the CEO of Neo Entertainment Agency which handles multiple celebrities, some of which are actually part of the NCT mafia like the infamous racer, Lee Jeno, the top supermodel/actor, Jung Jaehyun, and even the comedian actor, Hendery.

Despite being in the glamour and gore at the same time, Johnny has enjoyed it all. He enjoys the fame and attention from everyone including girls. Though with the power and attention Taeyong gave Johnny, he never abused his status or power until he met a girl who seemed too pure and innocent to have to work in a shitty place. Little did Johnny know that he would soon find out that love is actually beautiful.

As Taeyong was slowly making a name for himself and his group, NCT, Taeyong knew that he needed several other businesses that would help his members, especially his core members have some sort of cover-up.

While Taeyong is more than grateful that his selected core members never questioned his leadership, Taeyong couldn’t help but want to give his members another career path aside from just being part of the mafia alongside him.

That is how Taeyong, Kun, and Mark decided to build some businesses to allow their core members to explore what they wanted to do. Taeyong mainly focuses on the tech company while also overlooking the entertainment agency, hospital, e-commerce, and several other businesses that took up the majority of Seoul. Mark co-owns the entertainment and publishing agency whereas Kun focuses on the hospital and healthcare.

Additionally, some of the older members like Johnny also co-owns several of the businesses with Taeyong or Mark. One of which is the entertainment agency where they would cast several of their members as actors and public figures like Jaehyun, athletes like Jeno, or even other artists like Ten.

As the years passed, not only did NCT grow as a whole mafia group but their businesses also grew. Almost every other business is associated with those companies under NCT and the majority of fresh graduates wanted nothing more but to be able to intern or even work full-time under one of the businesses that NCT owns.

Even with the amount of businesses that NCT controls, Taeyong doesn’t limit his members to only work for him but allows each of them to explore whatever their likes and dislikes are. What each of them is good at and even allowed them to build their own business just like Johnny built a famous bar and restaurant in Seoul which soon became an exclusive spot where a lot of the upper-class, the richest, and business partners meet one another.

But even with all the fame and fortune that Johnny had gotten from being part of NCT, co-owning some businesses with Taeyong, and even building a business on his own, not once did he misuse his power, fame, and fortune for anything.

Heck, even the employees who work under Johnny consider him to be one of the best bosses they could have asked for. All of his employees aren’t obligated to work overtime if unnecessary and even if they do, he would pay them well. Each employee was given a month’s worth of work leave, health insurance, up to 2 months of work leave, and every other benefit that one could have dreamed of (A/N: honestly me).

But with all that reputation, there was one part of Johnny’s life that he felt wasn’t complete and that’s a relationship. Sure, Johnny has had several flings and one-night stands here and there. Even some women would throw themselves at Johnny which might have attracted him in his early days in NCT but as time passes, Johnny can’t help but be envious of some of his members, his younger members and their long-term relationships; especially when he had a bitter relationship in the past.

Though Johnny isn’t the only member in NCT who wasn’t in a relationship, the thought of how his younger members were doing much better in this aspect left a bitter taste in his mind. Though not everyone knew each other very well despite being in the same team, Taeyong knew all of his members, especially his long-term friend, Johnny, inside and out.

When Taeyong first met Johnny, he was fresh out of college and was working for a well-established modelling agency as a photographer. Johnny was not only doing well career-wise but he was also in a long-term relationship with his then-girlfriend who was one of the models in the same agency he worked in.

But it was shortly before Johnny’s probation ended did he found the bitterness behind all the good things that had happened. He was being framed for sending the wrong photoshoot to a business partner and when he needed his girlfriend the most, he felt betrayal like never before. How his then-girlfriend was the one who framed him and that she was sleeping with a senior editor in the modelling agency.

Ever since, Johnny was broken. He was fired from his job, he was angry at his then-girlfriend but one thing that came out of that probation period was meeting Taeyong and the rest was practically history between the two.

Taeyong was there when Johnny fell, Taeyong was there when Johnny was heartbroken and betrayed, Taeyong was there to help pick Johnny back up into the strong, bubbly, and confident self he once was but just like a broken vase, you can’t completely put it back together like it used to be and that is how Johnny currently is.

While Johnny has slowly grown more mature, loveable, and confident once again. He has yet to open up to any kind of relationship. One of the reasons why he was actually envious of his members who do have healthy relationships. Johnny was too hurt and betrayed to truly see that love was actually something beautiful.

“Apparently I got word that Brams and his men are going to meet up with some people regarding that human trafficking issue that’s been going around” Jaehyun mentioned, grabbing Johnny’s attention

“Well good evening to you too, Jay. You’re done with your shoot today?” Johnny asked, heading over to his mini fridge to grab a bottle of whiskey and two glasses, pouring one and offering the other to Jaehyun

“Yeah. I was done since an hour ago and both Jungwoo and Doyoung told me about their findings. Since Taeyong is out with his girlfriend. You know how he is when he’s with his girlfriend” Jaehyun chuckled, grabbing the drink Johnny just poured

“Yeah, I know. He texted me about having the whole of next week off and handed me a list of the things he wanted Doyoung and me to check out. Just send Hendery, Mark, and Jeno to look at it” Johnny mentioned, brushing off the issue Jaehyun mentioned

“Well, the thing is, they’re meeting in your bar” Jaehyun stated, making Johnny stop drinking the whiskey. “You know Taeyong respects you so much that he refrains from having some of his backup men spy on your bar. But Jungwoo and Haechan found that the human trafficking issue is going to be dealt in your bar. I suggest that we head there to finish it before it escalates more” Jaehyun suggested, Johnny instantly drowning the whiskey

“When is the deal going to happen?” Johnny asked. “This Friday night. Honestly, Taeyong is smart to not have his members be publicly known. We get to have more fun that way” Jaehyun smirked, making the older member chuckle

“Alright. As long as you finish your brand shoot earlier, the drinks this Friday are on me. I’m going to get Yuta, Hendery and Ten to keep a lookout” Johnny mentioned, texting his upper management for the meeting details

“Sure thing, boss. I’ll keep you updated if Haechan or Jungwoo finds anything. Do you need any of the dreamies to go?” Jaehyun asked but Johnny shook his head. “Nah. The kids deserve a break. Especially Jaemin after what happened with his dad” Johnny replied. “And don’t call me boss. I may be as old as Taeyong but I’m not like him”

“Whatever you say, John” Jaehyun waved the older one goodbye

Friday night rolled around sooner than Johnny wanted but he knew that Jaehyun was right. And that he had to act fast before it escalated any further. The past several months, there had been reports of missing young girls who were in college and there were rumours going around that they were either working at a brothel, illegal strip clubs, or even being sold to human trafficking.

Arriving at his bar, both Johnny and Jaehyun were greeted by Johnny’s upper manager, Ted. Because the supposed illegal businessmen hadn’t arrived yet, Johnny dismissed Ted to grab some drinks for both him and Jaehyun along with some light bites.

Because Jaehyun had only been to Johnny’s bar once in a while, he decided to scan the place and took in all the details of the bar until his eyes landed on a certain waitress who looked a bit too young to be working in the bar.

“Yo, John, doesn’t she look a bit too young to be working at a club?” Jaehyun asked, looking over to a young girl wearing the waitress uniform, serving some drinks to old sweaty men

Johnny who was just trying to drink and enjoy his night eventually followed Jaehyun’s gaze and landed on the girl that Jaehyun was describing.

Sure, Johnny might’ve opened his own bar with Taeyong’s permission but that doesn’t mean that he allows just about anyone to work in his bar. And while he doesn’t deal with all the miscellaneous work in the bar, he surely memorises his staff and the girl Jaehyun pointed out was never in any parts of Johnny’s memory.

Instead of confronting the girl, Johnny immediately called another waiter to get Ted and question about the girl whom he learned was technically legal to work in a bar as she was 21+ and the manager mentioned that she was only a part-timer on the weekends since they needed more help.

Right when Ted was explaining to Johnny, he saw one of the old men put their hands on the girl’s bare thigh which scared the girl. Angered at the behaviour, Johnny stood up and stomped his way to the scene before the man could go any further.

“This is an exclusive bar and I make sure that all of my staff are always on their best service. But that doesn’t mean that you could just harass them like this” Johnny growled, gripping the older man’s arm tightly that the people nearby could hear a bone crack

“Especially when it’s an old man harassing a young girl” Johnny grunted, pushing the man that he fell off his chair; the other men around the table started to get up, about to put up a fight when Jaehyun came beside Johnny, shielding the girl

“I suggest you all sit your old sweaty asses down unless you want your old bones to be broken” Jaehyun taunted. “Or shall we call Taeyong? Because he’s the co-owner of this bar and I don’t think he would be pleased that his supposed business partners were in his bar, harassing a girl”

Of course, upon hearing Taeyong’s name, the men instantly cowered in fear and apologised for their behaviour which Johnny scoffs because he knew that they weren’t sorry for what they did but instead, they were scared of what the Taeyong could do to them.

Turning around, Johnny’s stern gaze immediately washed away when he saw the scared girl looking down to her feet and bowed at him; apologising for getting him and Jaehyun involved. Something that Johnny rarely encounters in bars. Even in his own.

“You don’t have to apologise for getting me and my friend involved. They should be the ones apologising to you. Are you hurt?” Johnny asked but the girl shook her head, still not wanting to look at the much taller man

“Hey, my eyes are up here. I’m not going to hurt you so can you please just look at me so I know that you’re ok?” Johnny asked again, this time in a much softer tone

Slowly, the girl lifted her head, her (Y/E/C) eyes met with Johnny’s now soft dark brown eyes. Johnny slowly took in the girl’s appearance in front of him. How her (Y/H/C) hair was tied up and some of her bangs were somewhat covering her eyes. Her eyes filled with worry and anxiousness that made her bite her own lip. “She’s clearly uncomfortable being here” Johnny thought to himself

Unfortunately, before Johnny could ask anything else to the girl, Ted called him and Jaehyun regarding the meeting about the human trafficking issue. “We’ll be right there, Ted. Thanks” Johnny replied, before looking around and spotting Ten, Hendery and Yuta.

“Sweetheart, I’m going to have to leave but can you help serve my friends over there?” Johnny mentioned, his eyes directed at Ten, Hendery and Yuta who were by the corner of the bar

The girl turned and followed Johnny’s direction before going back to face him and nodding; somehow making Johnny smile. “Good. I assure you that they’re fun to be around with. I’ll tell Ted that you’ll be serving my friends tonight and no one else. I promise you that you won’t get in trouble, alright?”

Another nod

“Alright. I’ll see you around then” Johnny mentioned, nudging Jaehyun to follow him as he walked past the 3 younger men. One of his hands patted Yuta’s shoulder. “See it that those old men are taught a lesson about touching a girl without their consent” Johnny whispered, Yuta immediately nodded, understanding his member’s request

“Ten, Hendery, the girl who was harassed is gonna come and serve you guys. Don’t scare her. And make sure she gets back to her place, safely” Johnny added, the younger men nodded

Without wasting anymore time, both Johnny and Jaehyun went into the VIP room where true to Jungwoo and Haechan’s findings, Brams was having a deal with an illegal business partner regarding human trafficking.

Angry at their bluntness about women being used to satisfy men, it didn’t take long for both Johnny and Jaehyun to beat both groups to nothing but a pulp. Johnny then had some of his own back-ups to take them back to the NCT base to get more information out of them.

After Johnny and Jaehyun were done, the two went out of the VIP room and met up with Yuta, Hendery, and Ten whereas the other employees were already told to leave early by Ted. “Apparently those old men who were harassing the girl worked for Brams as well. They were selecting some girls to be sold in the human trafficking” Yuta mentioned, making Johnny even more worked up than he already is

“Fucking hell. I promised TY that when I opened my bar, I’d make sure that it wouldn’t ever come to this. How’s the girl?” Johnny asked

“She was very nervous. She was worried that Ted was going to fire her. You didn’t let her know that you were the boss?” Ten asked and Johnny shook his head. “Not exactly. Didn’t think that I would need to”

“Well, you should’ve. The poor girl didn’t even want to leave until she met you but I told her that you were busy and it was past her working time. I also told her that she’d most likely see you more often now” Ten mentioned

“Thanks for making her go home. Wouldn’t want her to see the violence or blood” Johnny spoke, somewhat shocking his members

“Did the Johnny Suh actually care about a girl and not want her to see him being violent or blood on him?!” Ten snickered

“Is that really your main concern right now? There were several groups in my bar, dealing with human trafficking. Hendery, did you get any other information out of anyone in the bar?” Johnny asked and Hendery filled him in on his findings

“I found out from a regular customer that the group Yuta beaten up weren’t the only group that was dealing with Brams’ group about human trafficking. There are other several small groups who are willing to kidnap any other girl to be sold to Brams for human trafficking” Hendery explained

“Yuta, did you get the group or let them off?” Johnny asked. “Of course I brought them back to the base. Just for a little practice session for the new recruits” Yuta replied

“Get whatever information you can out of them along with Ten and Hendery. I need to have a discussion with Doyoung and Jaehyun about this situation” Johnny mentioned

“Oh, by the way hyung, her name is (y/f/n). Just in case you’re wondering or if you want Haechan to dig information about her” Ten mentioned, giggling before he left with Yuta and Hendery

“You’re going to ask Haechan to dig up information about her, aren’t you?” Jaehyun asked, getting into the car with Johnny

“Why on earth would I even do that?” Johnny questioned back, driving off with Jaehyun

“I mean, the way you look at her and defend her says a lot you know” Jaehyun stated, the grip Johnny had on his stirring wheel got tighter

“She’s just some girl, Jaehyun” Johnny tried to avoid the conversation. “A girl that you defended and even spoke softly to. Haven’t seen that in a long time”

“I don’t hate girls if that’s what you’re implying. Plus, she’s different. She seems so out of place. Like, why work there if she doesn’t even try to hide her dislike” Johnny wonders

“See, this is what I mean. I know you don’t hate girls but typically you wouldn't give two shits on other people’s business. Let alone a girl who’s basically as old as the 00 liners. She got you hooked, hyung” Jaehyun chuckled, making Johnny glare at the younger man

“Would you just drop it? She was just a girl who coincidentally was on the scene and a target for human trafficking. The only thing that I’ll be doing is making sure that this shit never happens in my bar. Ever again” Johnny stated, rushing back to the base

It didn’t take long for Johnny to get the information he needed from Brams and the other little group that was involved in the human trafficking issue. The main reason why they chose Johnny’s bar was that there were many well-known business people who needed some young girls for business reasons or even personal, self-indulgent reasons. Additionally, they knew that every staff in Johnny’s bar would never utter any word regarding any dealings in the bar.

Disgusted at their answers, Johnny allowed Yuta and some other members to take their time in torturing the group into getting answers on who their buyers were. Meanwhile, Johnny’s mind wandered off to the scared girl that he encountered. Until a knock on the door caught him off-guard.

“Yeah, come on in” Johnny stated, trying to look over the files of the Brams’ group to make himself look busy

“Hyung, so, Haechan and Jungwoo managed to gather more list on the small groups who are helping Brams, some missing girls, etc” Jaehyun mentioned, coming into Johnny’s office, holding a tab

“Okay, and? Is there anything that I don’t know of? If not then I don’t see the point of the report, Jae” Johnny brushed off Jaehyun’s findings

“Sure about that?” Jaehyun scoffed, sliding his tab right in front of Johnny, the page showing the girl that Johnny helped

“What about her?” Johnny asked, raising his eyebrow and scrolling the tab until he stopped at a specific information that made him grip the tab a little too hard and even slam it on his desk; even scaring Jaehyun a bit

“What the fuck did you mean that she was hired in my club through those illegal bastards?!” Johnny angrily slammed the tab

“None of us knew, John. We almost never handle anything that goes around your bar. But if what Haechan found is true then something ain't right with your staff. You should probably question each of them” Jaehyun suggested but Johnny thought otherwise

“I want all the information” Johnny stated, his tone firm

“Sure, I’m sending you potential information about your staff so you can…” Jaehyun replied but Johnny stopped him

“Not all of them. Just one. Her. I want to know everything about her” Johnny mentioned, turning the tab around to show Jaehyun the girl that they both helped

“Isn’t that like stalking? Judging from her looks and the snippet of history I read, I doubt she’s involved with anything illegal and is pretty much clean. You can just have a civil conversation with her or…” Jaehyun suggested but Johnny was firm

“No. I don’t want to talk with the other staffs because it’s possible that they might be doing it together. But her. Just like you said. She was brought here because of that fucked up group doing illegal trafficking. I want all information about her then I’ll talk to her in a civil way. To make sure what she says is true because she could also be playing along with whoever is doing this dirty work in my bar” Johnny reasoned

“Alright. But I’m telling you. From what I’ve read and what the others have seen of her, she’s clean, man. Don’t scare her too much when you see her” Jaehyun warned

“I’ll be the judge of that, Jeong” Johnny growled

“Well, here you go man” Jaehyun mentioned, handing Johnny a tab with a file already opened. “All information about (y/f/n)”

“Took you a long time” Johnny snickered, taking the tab and reading through each piece of information that Jaehyun got

“Taeyong’s back” Jaehyun pointed out, making Johnny's ears perk up and stop scrolling for a moment. “I’ve updated him about the human trafficking but left out that we found more dirt about it in your bar”

“Shit” Johnny cursed suddenly. “What?!” Jaehyun asked

“Her parents were killed when she was 16 because the human trafficking gang needed a victim to be sold?! She’s just 22 now ” Johnny exclaimed. “Did you not read her information?”

“I’m not the stalker kind of guy. I just know the basic information. I didn’t go that deep and now that you’ve said it, that’s very fucked up. I’ve heard kidnapping and drugging, but killing girls who had parents because they needed a victim is another level of fucked up” Jaehyun mentioned

“And apparently someone in my bar hired her through this fucked up system. I…” Johnny growled, grabbing a glass and pouring himself a glass of whiskey; immediately swallowing the liquid in one shot

“Do you know her schedule?” Johnny asked and Jaehyun nodded

“Good. Find any days when she’s not working at the bar and let me know where she is. I’ll go to her myself. And don’t mention any of this to Taeyong. Not until I get to the bottom of it myself first” Johnny mentioned

“Alright. Just don’t scare the poor girl. You might have bad history with women but not all of them are like…” Jaehyun didn’t even get to finish his sentence before Johnny growled at him. “If you dare to say her fucking name…”

“I’m just saying. Oh and don’t act like a creepy boss who magically got her background information. Just take it easy and talk like you genuinely want to know her. I’ll always be around if you need a wingman” Jaehyun joked

“And if somehow you start to feel something, don’t push away. The poor girl already had a hard time surviving” Jaehyun mentioned

Johnny’s POV

It was the middle of the week and somehow I found myself in a small cafe that was a few blocks away from my bar because Jaehyun told me that (y/n) was also working part-time in the cafe since I found that she was trying to save up for college ever since she was 18.

Walking into the cafe with Jaehyun, I looked around and saw (y/n) cleaning one of the tables in the corner which is the table that Jaehyun and I decided to sit at.

“Excuse me, is it alright if we sit here?” I asked in a softer tone

Turning around, I could tell that (y/n) was shocked to see me and Jaehyun but she managed to hide it well and allowed us to sit down at the table she just cleaned. Before she was about to leave, I managed to catch her attention.

“(y/n), after you’ve brought our order, come and sit with us, alright? I promise you won’t get in trouble” I stated, making (y/n) look a bit scared but she nodded anyways

“Well you’re very frontal” Jaehyun commented at our little interaction

“Well how would you do it, valentine boy?” I scoffed

“Well, I’d lead on the conversation from ordering like what’s the best seller, how long have you been working here. You know, actually make some kind of conversation instead of jumping straight in. She looked nervous. You could’ve smiled at least” Jaehyun pointed out, making me roll my eyes

Not long after, (y/n) came to our table with our order. After placing everything down, I looked back at her to make sure that she wouldn’t leave and turns out she actually obliged and sat beside me.

“A-am I in trouble?” (y/n) finally let out actual words instead of nodding or shaking her head. Her voice was soft but shaky

“No. Of course not” I started. “I’m Johnny. I’m actually the owner of the bar that you’re working in. Sorry I didn’t properly introduce myself last time when I asked you to serve my friends” I added, extending my hand for (y/n) to shake but she was unsure and I put my hand down

“This is Jaehyun. He’s a good friend of mine” I introduced Jaehyun who looked at (y/n) was a softer smile that showed his dimples

“Hey. I’m Jaehyun. You can call me Jay” Jaehyun smiled

“D-do you also work in the…” (y/n) didn’t finish her question but Jaehyun chuckled first. “No. I’m just a good friend of Johnny. He also co-owns an entertainment agency with another friend of ours. I’m an actor and model actually”

“I um, was wondering why did you work in the bar. I saw that you were uncomfortable and while I don’t manage the recruitment process anymore, I would visit every now and then. You know that you’re not forced to work there if you don’t want to” I bluntly told (y/n) who looked down and played with her fingers

“I, I was looking for a simple job” (y/n) started, taking a deep breath before continuing. “Just to keep me alive. I wanted to go to college but I couldn’t”

“I worked at this cafe first but it wasn’t enough. One of my friends said I can try to work in the club. It pays well. I’ve been saving up. Sorry”

“There’s nothing to apologise for, sweetheart” I replied but no one said anything after a while

“I, I should get back to work. I’ll do better at your bar, Mr Johnny” (y/n) excused herself, standing and bowing formally to me and Jaehyun

“Just Johnny, sweetheart. And you’ve done nothing wrong. I just said you looked uncomfortable and not that you were doing a bad job” I pointed out

“T-thank you for stopping by and coming to the cafe” (y/n) thanked us again then left to the back room

“Well, that went well, didn’t it, sweetheart?” Jaehyun commented and I gave him a side-eye

“She shouldn’t be working there Jaehyun” I mentioned, ruffling my hair out of frustration

“At your bar?” Jaehyun asked and I nodded “But you heard her. She needs the money and frankly, I will admit, working as a waitress in a prestigious bar brings some good paycheck. Plus, now that she knows you own the bar, she’s gonna know that if she gets a raise or anything it’s because of you”

“Find out what school she wants to study and let me know” I mentioned, finishing my coffee

“Dude, don’t tell me what I think you’re going to do. Taeyong is gonna be onto you. And we have yet to find out about the human trafficking gang that took her and sold her. Heck, they might still be keeping tabs on her or something” Jaehyun pointed out

“One at a time, Jae. I’ll deal with Taeyong. You find the school for her. You know what to do. As for the human trafficking, I’ve asked Yuta and Winwin to look into it since there’s a good chance it was done overseas” I stated

“Damn, Taeyong really has rubbed on you, hasn’t he? You’re one step ahead already” Jaehyun chuckled, patting my shoulder as we left the cafe

“You have no idea. I have Ten and Yangyang to watch over her shift tomorrow and on the weekends. Also update me on any other weird behaviours at my bar while I sort about her working in the bar” I mentioned, taking one last glance at (y/n) who was serving some new customers before going into my car

“Man, I’d never thought to see the day that you would get whipped for another girl in years” Jaehyun commented which I didn’t confirm nor deny his statement

Maybe I was actually starting to get interested in another girl after so long. Maybe…

NCT Entertainment - 2:09 pm (Johnny’s POV)

“Wait, hyung. Let me get this straight. You talked to all of these universities and applied her to them on your own without her knowing, asking each university if they could provide a scholarship for her and even paid for like the majority of her tuition when you barely held a conversation with her?!” Jungwoo commented as he and Haechan were in my office at NCT Entertainment

“I didn’t pay her way into the university. I just sent out her information to the universities to get some scholarships for her and paid the rest. There’s a difference” I replied

“Damn. I don’t think I’ve seen you this interested in a girl since the day I met you” Jungwoo mentioned

“It’s not just you. Everyone who knows about this whole shenanigan is just as shocked. I was when Jaehyun-hyung asked me to dig up information about a girl per Johnny-hyung’s request. I was even more shocked to find out that she has nothing to do with his type of lifestyle” Haechan added on

“Has it been that long since you got laid, hyung?” Jungwoo joked

“You comment about my sex life once more and I’ll tell your girlfriend about how desperate you were to find love that you hacked into Tinder for each girl that swiped match with you only to find out that they were either very underage or over” I threatened Jungwoo who instantly cowered in fear

“Y-you wouldn’t dare” Jungwoo stuttered as Haechan laughed. “That was quite a phase. Especially when you, Jaehyun, and Doyoung-hyung accompanied us and Jeno to Milan. Gosh I was so jealous that they went to a fancy dinner” Haechan mentioned

“So have either of you found something regarding my staff and how the hell did they get involved in the bloody human trafficking activities?” I asked

“Hey, be grateful that I created the system to help us check each of your staff instead of doing it manually or worse, having to confront them one at a time and then you would have to replace your entire staff. Which honestly, now that I’ve said it out loud, you probably should. It’s best that way” Jungwoo pointed out when we heard a knock on the door

“Mr Suh, I ummm, there’s…” my secretary, Vivianne stuttered but a loud shout was heard not long after the door was opened

“Johnny Fucking Suh!!” we heard Taeyong’s loud voice from my office and not long he barged in along with Doyoung and Jaehyun

“You can leave Vivianne. And make sure that no one disturbs us at all” I mentioned and Vivianne immediately understood, closing the door

“Why the fuck is it that everytime I went on a small leave or handling something else, a small group of my members would always be up to something. 00 liners, and now 127? Universe, give me strength when it comes to WayV someday” Taeyong sighed, sitting across me as I eyed Jaehyun who just kept a straight face and shook his head

“Tae…I swear that I have everything under control. We’re looking into the possibility of the human trafficking being from overseas and…” I was explaining when Taeyong stopped me

“Cut the crap, Johnny. That’s not the only thing I’m going to be discussing. One. I gave you the freedom to have your own businesses without my involvement but I hoped that you would at least have one of the other members in it because look at what happened now. Your staff is involved in with the human trafficking activities because none of our trusted members was there to help you with the recruitment process. Two. One of your staff is hired through the human trafficking which indirectly means you’re involved in it if the public ever knows about this. Three. That staff of yours, that girl, seems to have caught your attention so much that I found you paying a hefty amount of money for her college. I’m glad that you’re opening up again but shouldn’t you be handling the human trafficking activities and taking it slow with a traumatised girl?” Taeyong stated

“Tae. I swear I had no idea about the human trafficking being in my bar. I was getting to that with the other members” I replied as the other members just stayed quiet

“I know. I just hope that you would open up more on what’s going on in your personal business with the other members even if it’s not with me” Taeyong replied back

“Honestly, after this event, I intend to do so. Sorry” I apologised but Taeyong shook his head

“There’s no need to apologise. I give my members free permission to do as they please as long as it’s not illegal. But I also want them to involve one another even if it’s not me because if you don’t trust your core members. Then who would you trust? When I started with this group, it took time for me to trust you guys if I’m going to be honest. But slowly, the more I get to know you all, the more I feel that I could trust you and I want that trust to keep going between you all even if I’m not part of it” Taeyong stated “And that goes for everyone in this room as well as our other core members”

“So, you all going to update me about what we have so far or what?” Taeyong stated, making me chuckle

Of course, in the end, Johnny told Taeyong about the current situation. How Brams and some other groups have been having illegal meetings about human trafficking in his bar. How (y/n), one of Johnny’s staff was one of the victims and was hired by a mole amongst the other staff who was part of the human trafficking group.

Though Jungwoo has helped by making a whole system to help ease us in finding the mole amongst the staff, Jungwoo mentioned that whoever was dealing with this illegal business clearly had done it for a long time because every single one of the staff was clean which raised the question on how (y/n) was hired through human trafficking. And the only possible way to know is for Johnny to actually talk to her and be honest.

(y/n) on the other hand, was shocked that one of the colleges that she applied for actually replied back and offered her a full scholarship for her undergraduate. Though (y/n) was confused, she didn’t reject this big opportunity and immediately accepted it.

Knowing that she was fully funded for her undergraduate. (y/n) decided to tell Ted that she would stop working part-time at the bar and she’d just be working at the cafe.

Coming back to her small apartment after resigning from the club, (y/n) had just opened the door to her apartment but she could sense that there was another presence in the place and stopped in the middle of opening her door until she was met with a taller familiar figure. Johnny.

“Sorry I came uninvited and even got into your place without your consent. But we need to talk” Johnny spoke, his voice came out calmer which eased (y/n) enough to close the door

“Okay…” (y/n) breathed out

The two sat in front of each other, Johnny was trying to find his words as he examined the girl in front of him who looked skinnier than he last saw her whereas (y/n) was fiddling with her thumbs; a habit whenever she was nervous.

“Can you tell me how you actually found my bar and who hired you?” Johnny asked

“I, I’ve told you. A friend suggested your bar and the one that hired me is the manager, Ted” (y/n) let out

“Ted?!” Johnny let out a sarcastic chuckle, confusing and scaring (y/n). “Out of all my staff, it had to be Ted”

Johnny took his phone and was dialling Jaehyun when (y/n) spoke again. “H-he saved me”. Johnny ended his call with Jaehyun before the younger member even answered

“What do you mean he saved you? Who did he save you from?” Johnny asked, this time his tone was rougher

“H-he saved me from the bad people. The people that killed my parents. The people who forcefully took me and…” (y/n) started sniffling making Johnny sigh and got up to hug her

Pulling (y/n)’s body to his chest, Johnny patted (y/n)’s back, letting her cry on his chest. The feeling of having someone other than his members close to him was foreign but it brought some comfort and warmth knowing that Johnny was capable of opening up once again.

“Hey, I’m not going to hurt you. I promise. I just needed to know” Johnny softly uttered, stroking (y/n)’s head

“I’m, I’m sorry. I got your shirt wet” (y/n) sniffled, pulling away but Johnny shrugged

“It’s nothing. Feeling better?” Johnny asked and (y/n) nodded

“A bit. Ever since my parents were killed, I, I had no one. I didn’t know where to go but I know that I should keep going somehow” (y/n) sniffled and it broke Johnny hearing how could the world be cruel to someone so young and innocent

“Hey. It’s okay. You’re okay now. You’re such a strong girl. You didn’t give up even though you could’ve and that’s something to be proud of. Not everyone can do that. Especially under your circumstances” Johnny mentioned, cupping (y/n)’s cheeks. “I’ll take care of them, okay?”

Johnny handed (y/n) his phone for her to key in her phone number which she did. Johnny wanted to make sure that those people would pay for what they did before he fully opened up his heart again.

After making sure that (y/n) was better and even ordering dinner for her, Johnny excused himself because Yuta found that it was an overseas joint business and he was on the hunt for the people. But before Johnny left, (y/n) asked him about something that was lingering in her mind.

“W-was it you? The one who helped me get my scholarship?” (y/n) asked

“Your life was ripped away from you and you didn’t deserve that. You deserve to enjoy your life and figure out what you want to do. I know I’m not involved with those men nor did I have the chance to find you back then but I’m sorry that your life was suddenly ripped away from you. I’m sorry that I can’t bring your parents back. But at least let me help you because I know how it must be when something good is suddenly ripped away from you. Granted I didn’t experience it to your extreme but I know and I was lucky enough to be given a second chance. So should you” Johnny explained but what he didn’t expect was (y/n)’s response to his explanation

“A-are you not just trying to…”(y/n) mumbled. “Trying to what?” Johnny asked

“Trying to sleep with me or…” (y/n) let out but Johnny just chuckled at her question

“Sweetheart. I may own a bar but that doesn’t mean that I sleep around. Maybe I did when I was in my early 20s because I was cocky at the time but I’ve grown out of it and I don’t just sleep with anyone anymore. I actually haven’t slept with anyone in years because just like you, I too have my own trauma” Johnny admitted

“S-sorry” (y/n) apologised but Johnny shook his head. “Nothing you should apologise for, sweetheart. You take care of yourself alright? I’ll see you soon. You just leave those nasty people to me and focus on your studies” Johnny mentioned

“I, I will. T-take care too, Johnny” (y/n) stuttered but smiled as she bid Johnny goodbye which made the taller, older man smile as he left (y/n)’s apartment

The next few days were filled with Johnny and the members looking for the overseas group that dealt with human trafficking activities. Occasionally, Johnny would drop by his bar along with Jaehyun to check up on things and make sure that there weren’t anymore groups that were doing any illegal activities in his bar.

Additionally, Johnny has slowly involved some of his members like Ten, Yuta, Hendery, and even Jaehyun in his bar. Yuta and Ten being the members who visit and look after Johnny’s bar the most compared to the other members.

Aside from keeping tabs on his bar, Johnny also had Haechan keep tabs on (y/n) to make sure that she was always safe, no one was following her or anything out of the ordinary. Sometimes, Johnny would even send a few gifts every now and then to (y/n)’s apartment.

Flowers, some groceries, her favourite snack and coffee, even a fair few things that she had always wanted but could never had. But even so, Johnny had never dared to make any further move since he visited (y/n)’s apartment for the first time. Well, until Jaehyun smacked his older member being the valentine boy he is.

“Dude, I get it that you’re not ready to go into a relationship because of your nutjob ex but like this is getting too excessive. Especially coming from one of the most extrovert members in the group” Jaehyun complained, storming into Johnny’s office after his shoot

“Either your shoot didn’t go too well or is there something else that’s bothering you?” Johnny brushed off Jaehyun’s ramble

“Did you just neglect what I said? I’m saying that you’re being a coward right now and leading (y/n) on but you’re uncertain yourself. It’s not fair for her end, you know” Jaehyun complained, making Johnny sigh

“What are you afraid of? That (y/n) will turn out to be like your ex?” Jaehyun asked but there was no answer from Johnny. “Or are you afraid that you’ll be the one hurting her because of your past?”

“True but not quite” Johnny let out. “I don’t even know if she’s into me. I mean, I was her boss and then I found out that she was a victim from the human trafficking group and I don’t want her to think that I’m just taking pity on her and feel responsible because those groups were doing illegal business in my bar”

“And this is what happens when you haven’t actually dated anyone in years” Jaehyun sigh, sitting in front of Johnny

“What are you now, a love therapist because you’re valentine boy?” Johnny joked

“No. Well, maybe. Only for you though. Seriously tho, why are the younger members having better luck compared to us?” Jaehyun questioned

“Because they’re young? We’re already in our late 20s and honestly, we don’t make stupid decisions anymore. Also because they were taught by Taeyong since they first join so they wouldn’t do stupid things we did when we were their age” Johnny argued

“Well, if you want my advice. Go on a date with her. Get to know her like Jaemin is with the girl he saved from his dad. As messed up as your situation is, his is a next level, I’m not gonna lie” Jaehyun mentioned, recalling the time when he had to help his younger member operate on a girl because of his father

“That was crazy, I’m not gonna lie. I heard that his girlfriend is studying law. Must be a smart couple” Johnny chuckled, drinking some beer

“But for reals. If you don’t want her to think that you’re taking pity on her, just talk to her. Communicate? Hello? You’re like the most social person ever but when a girl finally interest you, suddenly, you turn dumb” Jaehyun nagged

“I, I can’t” Johnny sighed. “You can’t or you’ve forgotten how to? Like it’s not that hard. You already know her apartment anyways” Jaehyun mentioned

“It’s not just that, Jae. You can’t just suddenly ask someone out without making sure that they also have an interest. Plus, we’re still in the middle of looking for the overseas gang” Johnny pointed out, making the younger member rolled his eyes

“Taeyong said that it was gonna take a while. And the only way to know if (y/n) does have an interest towards you is if you go to her and ask. Take the chance while you still can. Maybe you’ll find a thing or two on the gang that took her. I’m not saying you take advantage of her or the situation but it’s a possibility you should keep in mind” Jaehyun suggested

“When did you get smart?” Johnny joked

“When your ex ruined your love life and made you numb” Jaehyun laughed back as the two continued to discuss their mundane tasks

It’s been 2 weeks since (y/n) last encountered Johnny. She didn’t expect to see him after the incident in the bar let alone found out that he was the owner but Johnny somehow managed to get her to talk about her not so normal past and even made her feel comfortable compared to any other people who took pity in her. But Johnny managed to see right through her fake smile and “normal” face.

But it’s been a while since (y/n) actually saw Johnny who popped by her apartment which she needs to address the next time she meet him because even though he was her boss (well, ex-boss), how on earth did he manage to get into her house in the first place.

Sighing, (y/n) just kept a mental note as she opened the door to her small apartment, bringing her groceries which she bought on her way home from campus. Right as (y/n) closed the door and turned around, she held her groceries tightly that she felt a rip on the paper bag as she saw none other than Johnny Suh sitting in the living room, reading a book.

“Goodness, how on earth did you get in here?!” (y/n) exclaimed, trying her hardest to balance her groceries but Johnny immediately rushed to help her

“Honestly? The landlady gave me a spare key when I told her that I was your boyfriend which is a red flag about this place. You sure you don’t want to just move to your campus’ dorm instead?” Johnny asked, helping (y/n) put her groceries away

“It’s quite expensive and while I still work part-time, I don’t think it would be enough. I’ve been living here for the past 2 years and it has been alright so far” (y/n) mentioned as Johnny just hummed

“Y-you kept the flowers and little gifts I gave you” Johnny pointed out, scanning (y/n)’s small apartment

“The flowers were pretty and as much as I don’t want to accept such expensive gifts, I don’t have the heart to pass it to anyone since I don’t really know anyone anyways” (y/n) replied. “Um, not to be rude but why are you here again? D-do you need someone to assist with the weekend crowd?”

“No, gosh no. I’m not letting you back in my bar or club” Johnny blurted, making (y/n) frown. “Well, at least not without me or my members. Anyways, I was thinking. You’re probably confused and nervous but honestly, I was just going to ask you out”

“A-ask me out? L-like a date?!” (y/n) exclaimed, feeling the heat rushing to her cheeks

“Yeah. I actually have some free time this weekend. I know surprisingly” Johnny mentioned

“I, I never been on a date. I mean, you probably know my past and…” (y/n) ranted

“I know. Well, I just know the surface level. I was hoping that taking you out would help ease your mind from what happened in your past” Johnny added but (y/n) stayed quiet for a moment. “I promise you that I’m not doing this to take advantage of you to find out about who made you into a victim or in any other way. I just want to get to know you because trust me, I too haven’t been on a date in years”

“That’s hard to believe, honestly” (y/n) admitted, making Johnny chuckle. “It is, isn’t it? We don’t even have to talk about your past or any business or human trafficking issue. Just think of it as if we’re college friends doing a group project” Johnny tried to convince (y/n)

“O-okay…As long as you don’t show up in my place so suddenly like this. I might have a heart attack” (y/n) tried to joke, making Johnny smiled even more

“I would make sure you won’t. Promise. Plus, you didn’t reply to any of my texts” Johnny said in defense

“I, I didn’t know it was you. I thought it was…nevermind…” (y/n) mumbled. “So um, when do you plan to take me out?”

“This Saturday. Let me take you out the whole day and show you how to enjoy your life” Johnny uttered, instinctively holding (y/n)’s small hand in his

Saturday - 09:02 am

True to Johnny’s promise, he would text (y/n) before actually going up to her place which she allowed him to. Johnny wore a simple attire compared to his business suits. Johnny wore a simple white T-shirt with black pants and a denim jacket paired with some casual shoes.

Johnny had just arrived with his black BMW since he felt his other cars might be too flashy and texted (y/n) that he was in front of apartment which she replied that she was on her way downstairs. But when it took more than 10 minutes, Johnny was starting to grow worry that he went out and into (y/n)’s apartment building and saw several men in black waiting for the elevator.

Though Johnny knew that (y/n)’s apartment was filled with all sorts of people, he can’t help but be wary of these men; remembering from his past experiences, Johnny decided to take the stairs up to (y/n)’s apartment.

Somehow, it was exactly how Johnny predicted. Those men were going on (y/n)’s floor but when they spot the taller Chicago man, they quickly turned, avoiding Johnny’s gaze. Unfortunately, before Johnny could get a better look at any of the men, the door to (y/n)’s apartment room was opened, revealing the younger, shorter girl.

(y/n) also wore a relaxed outfit with a basic white graphic T-shirt with some baggy jeans and a quite beaten up sneakers but to Johnny, she looked just as soft and etherial as she is adorable.

“H-hey. Sorry it took me a while. I was in the bathroom and I forgot where I put my phone literally after I texted you back so I spent the past like 5 minutes or so looking for it only to see it being dead so I charged it and looked for my portable charge and I…” (y/n) rambled, looking at a smiling Johnny. “I’m sorry, I was rambling”

“No. It’s actually pretty cute. And it’s alright. I was just a bit worried so I went up to see you for myself” Johnny mentioned, moving out of the way. “So, shall we?” Johnny asked, extending his hand for (y/n) to take

The two then head to Johnny’s car which Johnny, being the gentleman he is opened the door for (y/n) before going to the driver’s seat. “So, where are you taking me? Sorry for um, underdressing” (y/n) asked

“Nonsense, you look nice. I mean, I’m being casual myself. We’re just going to a casual restaurant, don’t worry. It’s a friend’s restaurant. He has some of the best Korean food in town” Johnny mentioned

The drive was quieter than Johnny would’ve liked but he knows that (y/n) was still shy and wary of the whole situation and he wants her to be as comfortable as she can so Johnny knows that he has to take it at her own pace.

Lucky enough, Johnny was able to get some conversation out of (y/n) like how was her uni life, how were her lessons, did she make any friends and so on. Whereas on (y/n)’s side, she also started to get to know Johnny like how he took film back when he was in university and he had a love for photography that he used to work at a local studio.

“What?” Johnny asked, seeing (y/n) chuckle

“I just, sorry. I sort of can’t really imagine you working a normal office like job” (y/n) admitted

“Well, it wasn’t really an office job since I get to go around, meet people and do what I love. But that’s in the past now” Johnny replied

“Do you miss it? The mundane routine when you were working in the studio?” (y/n) asked curiously

“Sometimes. Don’t get me wrong, I love what I get to do now and I love that I’m able to really own what I do but sometimes I do miss the simple mundane routine. It makes me feel grounded at times. Probably another reason why you attract me so much” Johnny flirted, making (y/n) rolled her eyes.

“Are you sure you haven’t dated in so long because I swear you flirt all the time” (y/n) groaned, making the older man chuckle. “Good to know that I still can. Anyways, we’re here” Johnny exclaimed, parking his car right outside of the restaurant, ‘Under the Moonlight’ that belongs to one of his member also dear hyung, Moon Taeil.

“Johnny, you said this was going to be casual but we’re at one of the most prestigious, 3 Michelin star restaurant in Seoul” (y/n) exclaimed, her face was filled with worry and panic while Johnny just got out of his seat and opened the door for (y/n) again

“It is casual. I mean, I know the owner. He’s a friend of mine” Johnny mentioned, helping (y/n) out of his car as he handed his car keys to the valet

“You’re telling me that your friend is master Moon?! The famous chef?!” (y/n) exclaimed as Johnny held her hand, walking past all the other customers who were waiting in line

“Yeap. Table for 2 under the name Johnny Suh” Johnny mentioned to the staff who upon seeing Johnny already knew who he was

Without wasting any time, the staff immediately told the other staff inside the restaurant that Johnny and his date had arrived. Immediately, one of the waiters went to direct Johnny and (y/n) into the restaurant as all the other customers eyes her with jealousy.

Inside the restaurant was no different as the outside. All the customers were eyeing (y/n), making her feel even smaller than she already felt when she and Johnny arrived at the restaurant. Noticing her slightly shaking self, Johnny released his hold on (y/n)’s hand and instead wrapped his arm around her smaller shoulder, pulling her closer to his bigger form whilst eyeing at all the other customers until his hyung and member came up to him, himself.

“Johnny! You came! And you finally brought a date” Taeil exclaimed, going to hug Johnny who released his hold on (y/n) for a moment to hug his older member

“Of course, hyung. Thank you for coming down to your own restaurant today for me” Johnny mentioned as all the customers look at the interaction in shock

“No, thank you for coming. It’s been a while since you guys came. I know work must be busy huh? But who’s this cute girl you brought today? The last one that came with their girlfriends were Jeno and Jaemin. They had a cute double date together” Taeil exclaimed, looking over at a shy (y/n)

“This is (y/n). She just went into college but she’s turning 23 soon” Johnny mentioned, softly grabbing (y/n)’s hands to extend for Taeil to shake

“A pleasure to meet you. I’m Taeil. The owner and head chef. I’m so happy to have you here. Johnny typically comes with his colleagues for business meetings so it’s nice to see a change. He even looks brighter these days” Taeil mentioned, making (y/n) blush

“T-thank you for having me. Sorry I dressed very casually. Johnny didn’t tell me that we were coming here. If I had known, I would’ve worn something better” (y/n) replied smiling

“Nonsense. You’re welcome to wear anything you want. Comfort over fashion. Unless you’re Johnny, Jaehyun, and Doyoung who typically dresses well even just for a walk in the park. But please, this way to your table” Taeil mentioned, directing both Johnny and (y/n) to an exclusive table in the restaurant

“Go ahead. Order anything you’d like. It’s on the house” Taeil exclaimed

“W-what?! T-taeil, you can’t” (y/n) stuttered

“I insist. Also, Johnny, do you want some wine?” Taeil asked as Johnny shook his head. “Not today, hyung. And maybe we’ll have something light. I’ll just take your signature steak and salad with sparkling water. How bout you (y/n)?” Johnny asked

“I’ll just have the kimchi pasta. I’ve always wanted to try it” (y/n) mentioned

“Coming right away” Taeil smiled at (y/n) before leaning to Johnny. “My staff told me that there were 2 cars that followed you here. I’ve told Doyoung who had Jungwoo keep an eye out. Jaehyun and Yuta are also around just in case” Taeil whispered to Johnny’s ear

“Thanks for the info hyung. I’d be happy to check out the new interior design you were thinking of” Johnny exclaimed as Taeil slightly bow to (y/n) before leaving

“So…” (y/n) started, catching Johnny’s attention. “So?” Johnny mimics

“Not only do you own a bar and an entertainment agency where the top celebrities like Jung Jaehyun works at but you also know the famous master Moon who owns three 3-michelin star restaurants?! Who exactly are you?” (y/n) questioned, making Johnny chuckle

“Just someone who just happens to know people. I’ve met Taeil when he was just starting out as a private chef for someone who happens to also helped me get to where I am today. Also, did you know that Taeil has a very heavenly voice? I even managed to convince him to sing an OST for a Kdrama we were filming and everyone loved his voice” Johnny mentioned, making (y/n) smile

“And you said I’m the mysterious one” (y/n) joked, making Johnny smile as well

“We all have our fair share of secrets but enough of that, what were you saying about some guy knowing your name?” Johnny questioned, his gaze became serious

“Oh right. So, I actually had my first group, well paired assignment and I was paired with this really fun and smart girl. We were doing our assignment in a cafe nearby our campus when her boyfriend came and he called my name” (y/n) recalled her memories

“Was this the guy that came and called to you?” Johnny asked in a more relax manner as he showed (y/n) a picture of Haechan, making the girl nod. “Yea, that’s him. Wait, you know him too?!”

“Like I’ve said. I know people and that’s Donghyuck. Well, he goes with his game name, Haechan more” Johnny mentioned, making the girl in front of him speechless

“The Lee Haechan? That master gamer and streamer?! That’s what he looks like?!” (y/n) asked in shock

“So you do know a lot of people yourself” Johnny joked. “No, all the people you know are famous people. Often get talked about at your bar. Even you. People would talk about how you could practically model but chose to build an entertainment agency and bar instead”

“I have modeled a few times. Also, don’t tell Haechan that I practically told you about him. Especially when Jeno is around. Jeno is probably going to tease him about it” Johnny mentioned

“Don’t tell me that this Jeno is…” (y/n) mumbled but Johnny finished her sentence. “Lee Jeno. The number one racer in Seoul who just won his like 4th? 5th grand prix? Boy was a prodigy since he was like 18”

The date went by smoothly much to Johnny’s expectations. Taeil would also often come drop by to have a chat with (y/n) who seemed more open than the morning he picked her up. But sadly, Johnny couldn’t completely enjoy his date as he kept replying the words Taeil told him.

Whenever Taeil would occupy (y/n)’s attention, Johnny would text his members on any updates regarding the people who followed his car. But Jungwoo was taking a longer time to identify the cars and who were in there.

Sighing, Johnny knew that it probably had something to do with (y/n) and he was starting to grow worry when he has to leave her alone later. Johnny was so lost in his thoughts until (y/n) snap him back to reality.

“Johnny. Are you okay? Did something happen?” (y/n) asked but Johnny was quick to regain his composure

“I’m alright flower. Just some work. Jaehyun was texting me about a rude partner during his shoot” Johnny lied

“You sure? I was going to go to the bathroom for a moment. You should splash some water on your face. Just to keep you awake, you know. You look a bit tired. We can head back after I’m done” (y/n) suggested

“Sure. If it’s alright with you, we can spend the rest of the evening at your place of even mine for a movie night and take out?” Johnny suggested back, earning a smile and nod. “I’d like that. I’ll be back”

After (y/n) left, Taeil went closer to Johnny. “Honestly, I support you”

“Well, that was random” Johnny scoffed making his older member laugh

“I’m serious. I like her. I mean, she’s such a soft soul. You can tell that she’s been through a lot and despite you spoiling her, she’s still humble and down to earth. It’s cute that she said she’ll repay you back for the amount of money you spent on her college but I know for a fact that you wouldn’t let her do that, right?” Taeil pestered

“She was a victim, hyung. A victim of human trafficking. She looks so broken” Johnny let out, making the older member sigh

“Just like you were when Taeyong and I visited you the day after we heard you were fired. Are you doing this because she reminds you of yourself or out of pity? Or have you actually taken interest in her?” Taeil asked

“I don’t know, hyung. I don’t want it just out of pity because she’s not like other girls. There are other girls in similar situations like she is but none with her personality. Most girls and staff in my bar would try their best to flirt and throw themselves at me. But not her. She’s, just like you said, down to earth. Even though she has a hard time, she doesn’t want people to take pity of her” Johnny replied

“Do you want to sleep with her?” Taeil genuinely asked

“Not exactly. I’m attracted to her but I also wouldn’t want to sleep with her just out of attraction. This is weird, hyung. I’ve always been scared going into a new relationship” Johnny explained

“It’s called you’re actually falling in love, John. You don’t know why you’re feeling it but one thing that you know is that you want to be with her. You want to always have her in your arms. To make her feel safe and comfortable just as you feel comfortable with her. You want to cherish her and every moment you have together. That’s why you’re going as far as to get to know her. To make her feel welcomed instead of your usual stoic and torture self. Love isn’t a crime nor is it scary. Sure it could be traumatic for some but true love is a beauty, John” Taeil lectured the younger member who seemed distraught by his long-forgotten feeling

Right before Johnny could reply to Taeil’s words, there was a commotion outside of the VIP room. “Sorry that things might get ugly, Hyung. I promise I’ll pay for the majority of the damages” Johnny shrugged, cocking his gun as he went out, followed by a tired Taeil. “It’s part of the job, John. Don’t worry about it”

Going out of the VIP room, Johnny was on guard at all times but he was instantly confused as to why everyone seemed calm until he saw Jaehyun bringing a terrified (y/n) next to him. In an instant, Johnny went to hug (y/n) who was shaking like crazy.

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong? What happened Jaehyun?! What was the commotion?” Johnny demanded, pulling (y/n) closer to his chest, covering her sight as she sobbed on his chest

“(y/n) started to have panic attacks. I saw her going to the bathroom and not long after, I saw several men wearing black suits going to the bathroom as well. I quickly followed them and forced them out since they were hogging in front of the woman’s restroom. It took Yuta to escort them out and when they left, I heard sobbing in the bathroom and I found (y/n) crouching by the door, shaking and crying” Jaehyun explained, making Johnny’s grip around (y/n) even tighter

“Find Yuta and make sure that he gets those people. I want them” Johnny growled as Jaehyun just nodded and called Yuta

“Flower, it’s okay. Those people are gone. I’m going to take you back, alright?” Johnny spoke softly towards (y/n) who was still sobbing but nodded

Johnny bid Taeil goodbye and that he would meet his older member back at the base since he was bringing (y/n) to the NCT penthouse.

Slowly, Johnny brought (y/n) back to his car whilst telling his fellow members to take care of the people who were practically stalking (y/n). In his car, Johnny turned on a button that made all the glass around the car appear dark from the outside and rushed back to the base.

Along the way, Johnny made sure that (y/n) was completely asleep before calling Taeyong. “Tae, I know that this might be so sudden but…”

“Taeil filled me in. Just directly come to the penthouse. Yuta and his team found the stalkers. They’re on their way here but don’t question them. Let me deal with them. You stay with (y/n) and try to get answers from her. She needs you more” Taeyong mentioned

After turning off the call, Johnny looked over to (y/n) who was sleeping but her body was still a bit shaken up despite wrapped in Johnny’s jacket. Softly, Johnny stroked (y/n)’s head and upon seeing (y/n)’s shaken body, Johnny could feel his anger rising again. “Who did this to you?” Johnny thought to himself

NCT Penthouse - 8:29 pm (Johnny’s POV)

Arriving at our penthouse, I parked my car and tried to carry (y/n) who was asleep because I didn’t want to wake her but in the elevator, she suddenly woke up and nearly jumped out of my grip if I didn’t hold her tighter than I normally do.

“Hey, hey. It’s alright. It’s just me” I uttered, my fingertips lightly massaging (y/n)’s shoulder, helping her calm down

“W-where are we? This isn’t my…” (y/n) stuttered, her voice sounded a bit rough; most probably from the crying and sleeping

“We’re at my place. Well, mine and my members’ place. It’s our penthouse. No one has access to this place except for us and some of the members’ girlfriends. I assure you that everyone is nice though we all live in different rooms. Some even on different floors” I explained, slowly letting (y/n) down but still holding onto her, worried that she might fall

Just like the first time we were alone together, the ride to my floor was quieter than I wanted; especially after what happened at Taeil’s restaurant. Luckily enough, this time (y/n) didn’t seem to mind me holding her hand which helped calm my frustration a bit more.

Lots of thoughts were trying to consume my mind one at a time. Who the hell made (y/n) into a victim? Why would they keep tabs on her when they’ve basically sold her? Do these people have connections to me? Is that why they’re keeping tabs on (y/n)?

All those thoughts were racing to catch my attention until the elevator door was opened. I slowly directed (y/n) to my penthouse and once we were in, she practically stared in awe at my place. Though I like nice and fancy things, I tend to keep my space as minimal as possible. But one thing for sure, I definitely had one of the best views in the penthouse.

“Feel free to explore, flower. Though there are only like 3 rooms. Mine, a guest room and an office room. I’ll get you something to drink. You can take the guest bedroom or mine. Whichever one you’re more comfortable with. Or you can go and watch some netflix or other shows you’d like” I mentioned, heading to the kitchen

As I was grabbing some water and other snacks, I noticed that (y/n) was just staring out of the view from the glass walls. “Hey, are you alright? Are you scared of heights?” I asked, settling down the snacks but handed (y/n) a glass of water

“A bit. I’m scared of a lot of things but this view is pretty. Oh and thank you” (y/n) replied, drinking the water I gave her

“No one can actually see in the building. Our leader made sure that all the glass walls weren’t seen through from the outside but we could see everything from the inside. If we want even more privacy, we installed curtains as well” I mentioned

“Y-your leader? Is everything like, recorded or?” (y/n) asked and I knew where this conversation was going

“Yes. Our leader. I’m actually part of a group. We’re not dangerous per se. Perhaps not everything we do is according to the law. But we are far from doing anything illegal. Our leader isn’t someone mean or controlling. Well, at least not to us. Me, Jaehyun, Yuta, Ten, Hendery, and several other people are the core members. So we’re the people that our leader trusts the most. When we all moved to this apartment building together, we were given complete freedom to do what we wanted. Along with that, we’re also given privacy. We’re free to install our own security cameras or not. Heck, even if we don’t, our leader would somehow know everything. But there’s nothing to be scared of honestly. He’s a great leader and person. I mean, he’s the one who found and helped us during one of our lowest points. I was one of the first members to be in the group” I explained

“Is finding people doing human trafficking part of the job?” (y/n) suddenly asked

“Sort of. We’re not involved in a way we buy the victims. We’re looking into every dirty and illegal business in South Korea. The government is limited but not us” I stated, looking at (y/n) who wrapped her arms around herself. “You’re not scared of me, are you?”

Turning around, (y/n) finally faced me and I saw her eyes start to be filled with water as she shook her head. Seeing her breaking down again was something I wanted to change. I walked closer and cupped her face. “Sssh, it’s alright. Whoever is looking for you won’t find you. No one outside of people we trust or love comes near here” I shushed (y/n), pulling her into my embrace as we stayed in this position for a while

“I want to help you, flower. Not out of pity. But because I feel at ease with you. I’m. I’m attracted to you. You’re not like any other girl I’ve encountered. You’re like a breath of fresh air from the city. A flower that blooms in winter. You’re special yet you weren’t given the chance to and I want to be the person to change that. But I can’t do that if you don’t tell me everything” I uttered, softly stroking (y/n) hair as she continued to sob in my chest until I heard a name

A name that was hammered into my brain for years. A name that I swore to all my members to never mention in my presence. Ever. A name that broke me years ago and made me believe that love was secretly bitter and toxic. My ex.

“Rox—roxanne…” (y/n) mumbled but the name was clear to me

“She and Axton…” (y/n) uttered another name that I forbid everyone from saying but I stopped her before she continued

“You knew I was the owner of the bar you worked at. You knew that I had nothing to do with those human trafficking but was connected with the people that made you a victim yet you didn’t come to me for help. Why?” I asked and pulled away to wipe the tears from (y/n)’s face but she suddenly looked away

“Hey. Don’t look away from me. I’m not angry. I’m not upset. Okay, maybe I am but not at you” I murmured, slightly forcing (y/n) to look at me. “Please. Tell me why didn’t you ask for my help in the first place when you knew”

“I. I was scared” (y/n) started. “I didn’t know how you would react but I also don’t want to take advantage of you. I’ll just be a burden. And I was scared that…” (y/n) rambled

“That?”

“That afterwards you would just” (y/n) hiccuped. “Just leave me all on my own” she finally let it out. She finally let out one of the things that everyone was so scared of

“Even at the beginning, I tried to not give in. I tried to not talk so much because I was scared that I would eventually fall for you. After you helped me that night, I really tried so hard. But then you keep showing up and I…” (y/n) rambled on. “We’re here now and I still am scared”

“Flower…” I whispered, my grip was loose that (y/n) managed to back away from me

“I, I don’t know what past you had with them but. I just want to not be involved. I just want to live a normal life. Sort of like you. I don’t want to be broken and sad. I don’t want to live in this constant fear that I could be hurt any day or even any second now” (y/n) cried

“Hey. Hey” I called out to her, trying to calm her down but she took a few more steps backwards making me sigh as I stood away from her

“Who said that I would hurt you? Who said that you’re taking advantage of me?” I questioned

“There were notes and messages. And they weren’t wrong. I’m taking advantage of you right now” (y/n) cried harder, making me ball up my fist knowing that those two people were responsible for another person’s trauma other than my own

“You’re not. I choose to get involved. I choose to reach out to you. I choose to get to know you. Albeit not the best method. And I choose you, flower” I uttered, somehow able to close the distance between us and cupped (y/n)’s cheek, forcing her to look at me

“You’ll get bored of me, Johnny. You’ll get bored and leave and I’ll be broken once again” (y/n) closed her eyes but her hands held mine

“You can worry about a lot of things but one thing you shouldn’t be worried about is me leaving you” I stated but (y/n) managed to make my hand let go of her face as she shook her head, her smaller hands leaving mine

“Th-thank you, Johnny. Really. For helping me and wanting to get to know me. I’m sorry, I just can’t…” (y/n) choked out and suddenly turned around but I wasn’t going to allow her to leave just like that

The second her hands left mine, I grabbed her wrist and turned her around back to me. One of my hands cupped her cheek while the other held her waist as I leaned down and pressed my lips on hers. The first time I kissed someone in years.

Of all the times I’ve kissed before, this felt right. This felt warm and welcoming whereas the previous ones, including the one with my ex, were just out of physical attraction, lust, and distraction. This was out of my own choice, how I care for her and love her.

Feeling her breathing got a bit heavier, I gently pulled away and let my forehead rest on her whilst gently caressing her cheeks. “Sssh, flower. It’s alright. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere and am certainly not going to leave you to break”

“Johnny…” (y/n) mumbled as I kissed right below her ear whilst lifting her and moved to my couch. Sitting down, I gently placed (y/n) on top of me, allowing her to straddle me since I was trapping her in my arms. “Flower. My last relationship was with that shit of an ex that turns out traumatised the both of us. Ever since, I have never, I swear on my members, never actively look for any other girl”

“Throughout those years, I was trying to keep myself busy with work and helping out the group. But in those years, I saw my members falling for their now girlfriends. Going through every obstacle in their relationship and still being together made me jealous but I was still just as traumatised as you were. Until I met you” I explained

“Sure I didn’t really actively look for another girl but that doesn’t mean I would sit around and watch a girl getting harassed like you did. Any normal person would’ve helped you as I did. But I’m glad I was there that day. Because it led us here” I added on

“I don’t deserve you, Johnny…” (y/n) mumbled. “Says who? I’m the one that’s pursuing you. So who the fuck says that you don’t deserve me?”

“Some people, most probably” (y/n) uttered but I kissed her temple, letting my lips linger a bit longer on her temple

“You tell me who they are and I’ll gladly deal with them” I mentioned, finally making (y/n) giggle even just for a bit

“John…” (y/n) called out to me. “If at any point you get bored of me, please don’t hurt me or yourself and just tell me honestly” (y/n) stated but I pulled her closer to me that her hands were on my shoulders for support

“Get that thought out of your mind. If anything, I’m more worried that you’ll leave me” I mentioned. “Do you want to be with me? Do you not want to fall for me?”

“Not like I can just switch off my humanity. I really do want to be with you but I’m just scared. I’m scared and I overthink too much” (y/n) mentioned, making me smile

“Then I’ll have to reassure you every day in every way possible” I joked, making (y/n) giggle. “I promise you that while it’s been a while since I’ve been in a relationship, I’ll make sure you know how much I love and care for you. Afterall, I’m the one who chose this in the first place. If anything, being the man I am, I will stand by my choice and take care of you for as long as this life allows me to”

“May I?” I asked, my thumb slightly brushing past (y/n)’s lips as she gave me a shy nod

Smiling, I moved my head closer as my hand gently brought (y/n)’s head closer to meet in between. Both our lips connect once more and I can finally feel (y/n) returning the feelings I’ve poured out to her. Slowly, I brought her body as close as I could, my other hand massaging (y/n)’s waist, calming her tense body as I deepened the kiss between us.

Though we just admitted the feelings between us, I asked (y/n) to stay over because I was worried that something might happen to her if she were to be on her own. Surprisingly, she followed through and I ordered takeout as she took a shower.

After ordering, I let softly knocked in her room which was the guest bedroom since I didn’t want to move too fast and make her uncomfortable by sleeping on the same bed as me. I told her that I would also be in the shower and that if anyone knocked on the door, it was probably the takeout that I ordered.

Once I heard an answer from (y/n), I headed to my own room and showered as quickly as I could because I felt bad for leaving (y/n) alone for too long. But after I finished showering, I saw a text from Taeyong regarding the stalkers that he and Yuta were questioning.

TY: they caved and told us that the people who sent them were your ex-girlfriend and senior editor

TY: I’ve had Jungwoo and Haechan to dig up information about them and locate them

John: I know. (y/n) told me about them being the ones who made her into a victim. I want them.

TY: we’re locating them right now. I also need to know if (y/n)’s story checks out with those two. How is she doing?

John: we confessed to each other. She’s staying with me until I make sure that those two are dealt with

TY: I’m glad that you finally admitted your feelings but don’t let your guard down. At least until we’ve sorted those two and made sure that no one can access any more human trafficking in Seoul. Until those two are captured, stay with (y/n). Good night, Johnny

I was so lost in my conversation with Taeyong that I didn’t realise how long I left (y/n) alone outside. I quickly grabbed my hoodie and sweatpants then headed out to find (y/n) sitting by the dining island instead of the dining table and the food that I ordered was already laid out on the counter neatly. There were even two plates and other utensils which my heart warmed up along with the view of (y/n) in my own hoodie and pants as well.

“Hey. What were you thinking about?” I mumbled, coming up next to (y/n), kissing the side of her head as one of my arms snaked around her waist, catching her off-guard for a moment

“Hey, sorry. Was just in my head. Also, thank you for letting me stay over and ordering dinner” (y/n) mentioned as I took a seat next to her

“It’s alright. I hope you didn’t wait too long. Also, it’s no problem. I actually prefer that you just stay over from now on. Only if you want. Of course you don’t have to sleep with me in my room if you don’t want to but knowing that you’re here with me and safe makes me feel at ease…” I rambled that I almost missed (y/n)’s soft answer

“Sorry, what did you say?” I asked again, to make sure

“I said okay. As long as I’m not interrupting anything” (y/n) mumbled, making me grin. “You never are. I’ll help you move later. I don’t want you to go out on your own”

“B-but, I can go to campus, right?” (y/n) asked and I thought for a moment because I forgot that she’s going to college

“Of course. I was the one that helped you to get into college. But you should go with Haechan and his girlfriend. Since you said that his girlfriend is your partner. I’m sure that she’s also staying with Haechan. I’ll double-check with him. Sorry, I might seem a bit too much but I’m worried about you. At least until those two are captured” I mentioned, earning a nod from (y/n)

“So um” (y/n) stuttered. “Have you actually looked for them and…”

“Sorry, flower. I’m not going to let you in much about that. At least until I’ve dealt with them” I sighed, eating some of the chicken

“Y-you’re not going to kill them, right?” (y/n) asked, making me question how much patience and goodness she had because if it were up to me, I would take my time to torture them before killing one of them in front of the other

“We don’t really kill, flower. Sure, we do have some blood on our hands but I promise you that they’re all not innocent” I stated, earning a hum from (y/n)

“I’m sorry” (y/n) uttered. I then pulled her chair closer to me as she looked at me in surprise. “Why are you apologising this time? I swear if you apologise one more time, I’m going to have to kiss you until you’re out of breath”

“Gosh, stop with that flirting” (y/n) exclaimed, covering her red face while I just chuckled, slowly taking her hand off her face. “Well? Why the sudden apology?”

“Because I feel bad that you have to face your ex again” (y/n) murmured, looking down at her lap but I found her so cute that I softly pinched her slightly puffed cheeks

“You’re so adorable. But really, flower, it’s nothing. I have to face them sooner or later in my life. Might as well get it over now. Plus, this is the perfect excuse to confront them” I mentioned when I got a text from Taeyong

TY: we’ve found them. Yuta and Hendery are securing them. You enjoy your night first. Deal with them tomorrow or let them rot for a week then deal with them. Your choice

“Is, everything alright?” (y/n) asked as I wiped the corner of her lip that was dirty from the food she ate. “Never better. Let’s have some dinner while we watch a movie, shall we? You pick any movie” I smiled, grabbing our plates and heading to the living room

NCT Base - 2:09 am

I didn’t want to leave (y/n) alone but I knew that I need to finish the job. Especially when Taeyong said that those two traumamakers arrived and that everyone was waiting for me to come and question them.

After making sure that (y/n) was completely asleep, I texted Haechan if he and his girlfriend were still awake and luckily they were. I asked them to come by my place to take care of the place and a sleeping (y/n) until I’m done questioning and torturing our guests.

“Hyung. You there? My girlfriend and I are here” I heard Haechan’s voice from the intercom

“Thanks for coming by and staying over. (y/n) actually passed out on the couch so I took her to my room. You both can stay in the guest bedroom if you want” I mentioned, opening the door for the sleepy couple

“It’s fine, hyung. I brought our gaming laptops so we’ll just be playing some games, isn’t that right, honey” Haechan cooed at his girlfriend who just hummed

“Thanks again. There are snacks in the fridge and cupboard. Knock yourself out, kids. But please, don’t makeout on the couch. Do it in the bathroom if you want. Easier to clean” I joked, making Haechan groan and his girlfriend flushed

“I’m heading out now. Enjoy yourself kiddos” I bid goodbye but Haechan came to see me out as his girlfriend was setting up their gaming station on my coffee table

“Hyung. Take care of yourself. Don’t go overboard. They’re not worth your energy. Get what information you need and end it. No point getting stuck in the past” Haechan uttered, making me smile at his matured words

“Thanks little bear. I’ll keep that in mind. You take care of the place, alright? Don’t make a mess. I’ll text you when I get back” I mentioned, waving at Haechan and heading to our base

I walked down to the basement where we would keep our ‘special guests’ and opened one of the doors with the red light above it; indicating that the room was being used.

Inside the room, I saw both Roxanne, my ex-girlfriend and Axton, my ex-senior editor, chained from above, side by side and were most probably pretending to be unconscious. Taeyong, Yuta, and Jaehyun were standing in the center of the room, behind the table that was in between them and those two.

“How long have you had them chained up here like meat?” I asked, putting on the gloves

“They just freshly arrived from the bay. From Japan” Yuta pointed out, making me chuckle since he continued my joke

“We should probably drench them in some cold water to make sure that we didn’t catch dead meat, shall we?” I suggested and Taeyong just smirked, handing me a controller and I pressed one of the buttons that made the ceiling pour ice water on both of our chained guests, waking them up instantly

“What the fuck…who…Johnny?” I heard Roxanne’s voice uttered for the first time in years; albeit a bit more shaking than what I used ot hear

“Why the shock, Roxanne? Miss me that much? Sadly, I don’t miss you or the man whom you had an affair with during one of the worst times in life. Granted, they weren’t as bad as being a victim because you both needed a victim” I stated, the shocked and scared look was obvious

“Whichever girl is trying to get in your pants this time, she clearly has the wrong people. Or are you just looking for a reason to get back at us for all those years ago?” Axton scoffed while I took one of my favourite knives, the carving knife and dragged the blade across his chest as I heard Roxanne squeal

“I’m going to enjoy my time finishing you up, Axton” I smirked, seeing the blood dripping from his chest and on my blade

“And since you mention a specific case which translates to there being a specific, one girl to have given me information regarding you both which means you both would have kept tabs on this specific girl” I smirked, looking at both their scared faces. “Meaning, what she’s saying is actually true”

“No point hiding. Might as well admit what you’ve done” Jaehyun stated, coming to my side while Taeyong just watched us from his chair with Yuta next to him

“Why her? Why chose her to be a victim when she had a life? She was fucking 16!” I growled, specifically towards Roxanne whom I pointed my knife with Axton’s blood. “What if that was you, huh? What if your parents were killed when you were 16?”

“Because she was the perfect victim” Axton chuckled, making me sick. “She was from a proper family. She was taught to be proper and to be an obedient little sl…” Axton didn’t get to continue as punctured his sternum, releasing a rather unrecognisable scream from him before I let my blade drop to the ground

“Should I carve your balls out to somewhat understand the pain of being a victim or should I pull and cut your tongue out, making a tongue soup and serve it to Roxanne because of the disgusting words that come out of your mouth whenever you speak?” I chuckled

“Y-you’re crazy…at least we don’t kill children” Roxanne tried to argue but my members and I scoffed at her

“Crazy? I may have blood on my hands” I smirked, raising my hands so that the light shone the blood dripping along my arm. “Quite literally. But at the fucking least, I don’t kill innocent people for money”

“Sure. I, and the others might not have the best reason to kill someone but at least I don’t kill other people for no fucking reason. At least when I torture and kill, it’s all for a reason” I growled, gripping Roxanne by her neck, slowly squeezing it to the point before she passed out and let go of her neck

“Whose to say that the girl you saved isn’t secretly using you? She must’ve missed her old privileged life that she planned on making you pity her that much” Roxanne breathed out and I was about to squeeze the life out of her if it weren’t for Taeyong stopping me

“You sure that isn’t the other way around?” Taeyong spoke, standing up and walked beside me as I moved out of the way when Taeyong pulled several documents and pictures to Roxanne

“You lived a pretty pathetic life where your parents constantly fought each other, neglecting you and even sold you. You didn’t get the life or love you wanted until Johnny showed up and you used his fortune for your own until you met that sad of a douchebag and betrayed someone who had genuine feelings for you” Taeyong stated, making me recall the horrific time when I found Roxanne making out with Axton

“You were part of the human trafficking as a somewhat of a victim but instead of trying to live your life, you got a little taste of money and that consumed you. You might not kill innocent life but you’re worse than a killer” Taeyong growled, making Roxanne look even more scared, probably the scaredest I have ever seen her

“You’re like a fire. You get close to your prey, warming up to them” Taeyong stated, lighting his lighter and bringing it close to the documents, lighting them up. “Then you slowly burn them. Letting them burn on their own until all that’s left” Taeyong let go of the documents, letting them burn on their own. “Is just ashes that you can’t rebuild into anything”

“Luckily for those people you burn, I found them. Though I couldn’t save part of them that were burnt, I tried to make do with what you left them to be. I found Johnny and took him in, helping him rebuild his burnt self just as he’s doing to the victim you made. All for your selfishness. Wanting them to feel the pain you did” Taeyong went back to his table. “We’re done here. Johnny, finish them. Jungwoo and Kun already found the other victims and thanks to Yuta, we already cut their connection to their clients and suppliers”

“Wh-what?! You’re killing us?! I, I thought that the government…” Roxane uttered but Jaehyun beat her to it

“Gave us complete authority to do what we please to people like you. When it reached a point of no return, the government gave us complete control. As long as we have given them what they wanted or what they were looking for. In this case, they wanted to cut the connection, aka the parasites, aka you both. They also wanted us to help look for the victims which thanks to your computer, we have all of that. It’s only a matter of time to hack into them” Jaehyun explained

“Y-you were just stalling…” Roxanne breathed

“For someone that could manipulate their victims to get away from everyone they know, you’re slow on things when you’re on the other end of the rope” Yuta scoffed while I cocked my gun

“Johnny…you, you wouldn’t….” Roxanne tried to persuade me with that sweet yet toxic voice

“I’m sorry” I uttered which made Roxanne sigh of relief. Oh, how she was wrong.

“I’m sorry for not being good enough for you that I couldn’t quite save you. But you were already lost in that addiction, weren’t you? At least, for this last time, let me save you. From yourself and from any other victims” I mentioned, a bullet was fired straight to Roxanne’s heart as she mouthed my name one last time as I walked to her slowly dying body, closing her eyes. “I hope we won’t ever meet again in the next life. And I hope you have a better life next time”

By the time I went back to my penthouse, the sun was already starting to rise and when I reached my place, Haechan and his girlfriend were already back at their place when I texted them that I was heading back.

Luckily, there was a shower at the base so I immediately showered and changed right after we were done with those two because I knew that if I showered at my own place, there was a good chance that (y/n) would wake up.

Back at my place, I headed to my room to see (y/n) snuggling in my bed, one of her legs was out of the bed as the blanket was messed up. Seeing her deep asleep self made me smile and I tucked her back in before going to the other side, finally being able to get some rest.

I laid down and wrapped one of my arms around her waist, pulling her close to my chest which made her snuggle closer. I slowly stroked her head mindlessly because of how heavy my eyes felt. But suddenly, I heard (y/n) mumbling my name and slowly waking up, making me smile.

“Johnny?” (y/n) mumbled

“Yes, flower?” I replied, pushing some of her hair out of her eyes

“Why aren’t you asleep?” (y/n) uttered, slowly opening her eyes, looking up to meet mine

“Haven’t been able to sleep” I lied but (y/n) saw through me. “It’s not good to lie”

“I just got back” I admitted as (y/n) hummed. “W-what happened?”

“Nothing that you should know of, flower. It’s over. Though I’m probably going to get much sleep, at least I can finally sleep at ease knowing that the past is finally behind me and hopefully you” I replied, cupping her cheeks

“It’s been over for me since you decided to choose me, John. So let me do the same and take care of you from now on. We had to go through our traumas alone but now, let’s heal it together and take care of each other. Don’t try to be strong on your own, okay?” (y/n) rambled, making me smile and kissed the top of her head before snuggling even closer

“Now and forever, as long as it’s with you, I think I finally see that love is a beauty” I smiled, leaning down to softly feel (y/n)’s lips on mine before we went to our slumber, ignoring the busy world around us.

A/N: AFTER LIKE A MONTH OF WRITING THIS! I FINALLY FINISHED MY 100TH TUMBLR POST AGHHHHHH Thank you to @mymoodwriting for always wanting to read my snippets and share me your opinion and keeping me company whilst writing the final part of this story. This was a very long one and I hope that you guys enjoy this final story of 2023 from me while I finally do the NCT Mafia Masterlist and start 2024 with the Jaehyun request (which will be a different mafia universe compared to this one). Thank you for everyone who recently followed and read my fics. 2023 had many ups and downs and here's to hoping that 2024 will be better for all of us! Merry Christmas and Happy New year :)) xoxo Vinet

#nct #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct x reader #nct 127 #nct 127 imagines #nct 127 scenarios #nct mafia au #nct mafia fic #nct mafia #nct mafia imagine #nct 127 johnny #nct johnny scenarios #johnny suh fluff #nct johnny suh #johnny suh #johnny suh scenarios #johnny suh imagines #nct angst #nct 127 angst #johnny suh x reader #johnny x reader #nct johnny imagines #johnny imagines #johnny scenarios

[dailyadventureprompts]

Drafting the Adventure: Dungeons Without Walls

I love the idea of dungeons, but there was a significant portion of my life as a DM where they didn’t feature in my games. While Pathfinder and 5e provided a great framework for character building and tactical skirmishes that I could build story on top of, neither was really great when it came time to detour into a  dungeon. My players tended to get confused when we headed out to plunder the local ruin or cave system, spending a lot more time figuring out where they were and what they should be doing than actually doing anything. 

The problem as it turned out was limited information.  I had a picture of the dungeon in my head/notes but I couldn’t telepathically infer that to the party, and the back and forth questions where they tried to orient themselves within my mental labyrinth ate up a lot of session time prevented us from attaining that snappy pace that every table needs to keep the players invested.

Recently though I had an epiphany about overhauling exploration in d&d, and wrote up a whole post detailing how you could build and run wilderness adventures the same way you could a heist or a murder mystery. Because I was already writing a series about dungeon design it didn’t take long for me to realize that this exploration overhaul was 100% applicable, and could solve a lot of the delay and confusion my players usually faced on their next trip underground.  Spoilers: it worked amazingly.

 The key to this overhaul was giving my players enough information to see the dungeon as a sort of abstract checklist, and then giving them the power to investigate and check things off that list in whatever order they wished, when they enter a new level of the dungeon they get a new checklist to fill out which still keeps that sense of exploration. Folk love checking things off lists, and I as a dungeonmaster love it when players engage with the content I’ve spent so much energy creating even if it’s only poking their head in the door to realize they want to run away as fast as possible. Likewise, designing the dungeon this way let me tackle much larger concepts without having to sweat the details of filling up every little room as I would have to in map-centric design.

To summarize my exploration mechanic as It applies to dungeons:

During Design: After you’ve got the dungeons’ major concept, you divide it into unique “zones” (essentially what might be levels in a regular dungeon) with an interconnected theme, mechanic, or threat.

Each zone has a number of points of interest, which can be anything from trails to follow, odd sights they might investigate, to full complexes of rooms that you’ve mapped out. You don’t need to map out the points of interest otherwise, they sort of float abstractly within the zone 

When players enter a zone, they become aware of its name and general descriptor, as well as how many total points of interest are in that zone. They also become aware of some points of interest immediately to serve as landmarks and give them a direction for their exploration, but most remain undiscovered until they venture off the path and start checking out their surroundings. Hidden among these points of interest are the doors that lead to zones deeper within the dungeon, encouraging the party to explore in order to progress.

During Play: When the players enter the dungeon, one player is appointed as the surveyor, who’s job it is to keep track of the zones, fill out that checklist, and check things off when the DM tells them that they’ve fully explored a point of interest.

Rather than needing to be aware of the exact room layout, the party just need to know what zone they’re in and what options are available to them, Because this information is delivered in the form of a checklist with empty spaces, the party know exactly how much of the dungeon they’ve explored, what’s left to explore, and when they’ve cleared out an area.

Lets take the image above as inspiration. Say the party is trying to make it up to the tower, you can easily see a progression of zones and maybe imagine a few to go alongside them:

Ruins & Foothills: The first area, filled with the remnants of an ancient civilization. Picked over by looters and now a home to all sorts of wildlife,

Mountainside: The obvious next goal, but locked off behind a challenging climb, Filled with hazards that threaten to knock the party back down to the foothills if they’re not careful

Caverns: Secret area accessible only if the party explore a cave on the mountainside, or make a beeline towards the old aqueduct landmark in the foothills, realizing it might be easier than the climb. 

Spire Foundations: The door connecting to the foothills is guarded by a complex puzzle and arcane ward, but the party might be able to sneak in through the caves where erosion has caused a breakthrough into the cellars.

Spire Peak: High among the clouds, the party’s prize is somewhere here.  Access to the upper sections of the tower are guarded by a territorial sphinx under arcane compulsion, though the party might just be able to skip that fight if they figure out the riddle to make the portal mirrors work in the foundations.

Trying to design all this by pencilling it in on a gridmap would take weeks, to say nothing of the headache it’d cause you trying to make things fit together and fill up empty space with content. Designing it first as a sequence of zones and then filling those out with interesting fights, puzzles, and encounters is the work of an afternoon or two. Likewise, its easy on your players: five zones with six to ten points of interest is far easier to tackle when you can make a checklist and see how much progress you’ve made, despite the fact that the area they’re exploring is quite vast. 

I hope you find this as useful as I have, and if you need a more concrete example of how it might work, don’t worry, I’ll have one of those for you in the coming days.

#dungeon design #dnd #dungeons and dragons #d&d #5e #dm advice #dm tip #dm tips #dm tools #writing advice #pathfinder #ttrpg #homebrew #5e homebrew #homebrew mechanic #exploration

[empiropediazine]

Hello empiresblr! We're in the early stages of planning an Empires SMP themed zine focused on worldbuilding and we are doing a bit of an interest check :)

If you find that interesting please go ahead and vote on the following poll! If you're not sure what to vote for make sure to read the whole post before picking an option :>

If you wanna know more about this we will be providing more in-depth info under read more!

What's the deal with this zine?

This zine is about Empires SMP Season 1, focused on exploring and expanding the worldbuilding and lore of the series. The name, Empiropedia, is a play on words between ‘empire’ and ‘encyclopedia’- it’s not structured quite like a regular zine, instead presented as if it were an in-universe book (or books) that puts together different sources to describe the culture and history of the 12 different empires. The zine will include both illustrations and writing. Some of the things we want to include are clothes, architecture, folklore, and artifacts/cultural items!

What's the difference between the two options the poll offers?

We are currently deciding whether we want to make one (very big) zine with a set amount of pages dedicated to each empire, or if we want to make multiple zines (one at a time) with one dedicated to each empire. Both options have pro and cons listed below!

120+ pages zine:

Pros:

An overall shorter project since it would be put together all at once

More intersection between different empires (pages dedicated to discussing alliances and the like)

People participating can contribute work to multiple empires more easily

Less pdf files to download! :D

Cons:

FAR less space for each empire to shine and be explored

A pretty long read

While it will take less time overall, it will definitely take much more time and coordination to put together than one singular empire zine of the 12 zines option.

12 separate zines:

Pros:

So much space to truly explore each empire!

You can decide which zines to pick up according to what your favourite empires are

The overall project will be able to include more artists and writers

Each singular zine will take less time than the 120+ pages zine to put together

Cons:

A much bigger project that would stretch over a way longer amouth of time to get to all empires being included

A lot less cross-working between different empires

Certain empires might not get as many applications from artists, making it harder to put together a zine dedicated completely to them

Will Season 2 be included?

While we are thinking of making a similar project focused on Season 2 that's pretty far off in the future, so for now we are focusing on the current project.

How/when can I apply?

We are currently getting everything set up, and we might open mod applications before opening contributor applications, so for now we don't have a set date. All necessary information to apply (including a timeframe) will be provided as soon as we set everything up!

#empires smp #empires s1 #empiresblr #empires season one #empires season 1 #zine info #poll

[winters0689]

Lester Papadopoulos is a comfort character to me. I’ve been a huge Percy Jackson fan for years now, and I’ve loved many characters (Grover, Nico, Leo, Percy, etc) and when I first read TOA I loved it, but after rereading it…

I fell in love with Lester, this caring and complex character who had many layers to him, that came off as selfish, and yet just so happened to be one of the most selfless characters in the book.

He’s caring, he’s a former god, he’s selfless, he pees himself regularly, he loves his children, he drowned his ex that one time, he is a god of many things, he has had many lovers. He has so many aspects to him that makes him so interesting.

He has a redemption arc as he realizes that he has made mistakes, but also realizes that he has been abused by Zeus, that it most likely influenced how he view things, and how he may have picked up toxic behaviors from Zeus. He learns to be more human, which is such a beautiful arc to see him go through.

He cares SO MUCH about others. He grieves for Jason and Crest and Heloise and so many other people. He tried to sacrifice himself many times and has many heroic qualities, but he is an unreliable narrator and sometimes what he says doesn’t reflect what he does.

His and Meg’s relationship is one of my favorite friendships in the books. It feels like it’s the two of them against the world at times. Meg cares so much for him while also calling him out on his bad actions (like when they were on Sutro Tower) and Lester cares so much for her as he realizes that she has been abused, that she needs help, and that he wants to help her separate from Nero’s influence, that he is so proud of her for standing up to Nero. They both form such a strong bond with each other and I just- I love them!

He is also absolutely hilarious. I find myself laughing as he is just- so snarky sometimes? He also sometimes know random things? (Like the Goddess of Sewers Cloacina) He is also funny when he has no knowledge on how human things work (like not knowing the price of Tater Tot’s)

He also gets anxious and freaks out and cries and he just feels. He gets happy and laughs and gets sad and laments. He gets flashbacks and clearly has trauma but doesn’t let that excuse his bad actions as he feels guilt for his actions. He can also be quite harsh on himself, blaming himself often and sometimes projecting that onto others (like him saying that Piper is blaming him for Crest’s death??) He is such an emotional character and I love him for that.

I love whenever he gets his godly strength as it starts with small things and then it gets to the point that he can create fire with his hands just by simply mentioning cauterizing a wound and breaking Nero’s fasces and having enough strength to drag Python into the Underworld and is strong enough to hold on just enough to save himself from falling into Tartarus. He is such a strong person who has an incredible pain tolerance.

There are many other things that I love about Lester Papadopoulos/Apollo. I think I can positively say that he is my favorite PJO character. I often reread TOA more than the other books. I love the story and how dark it can get while also exploring the themes of how abuse affects you.

I just- I love Meg and Apollo. I need for fanfic of them!! I need more content of them! Their friendship is so underrated, so when I see people make fanfic of them I get so happy!

I also love the community. The fan-artists and the fanfic makers and anyone who just writes long posts, like me, are so talented and is honestly the best fandom I’ve been in.

I hope the PJO show becomes popular so that more people can read these amazing series. I hope there will be a day that TOA gets adapted, and even if it doesn’t, I still have the audiobooks to go back to.

Thanks TOA fandom, for still going strong, even years after the books ended and new books have come out and are still making fanfic about them. It feels like the books have never ended, like the TOA books are still going on and are still making posts.

I’m so happy to be part of such a passionate fanbase.

Anyways if anyone is willing to offer any good fanfics then let me know!

#trials of apollo #lester papadopoulos #meg mccaffrey #toa #sunflower siblings #i got sidetracked #this was originally supposed to be me gushing about Lester Papadopoulos and ended with me gushing about how much I love this fandom #anyways the TOA posts aren’t going to stop anytime soon #except for when Alan Wake 2 comes out #in which case I will be obsessing or Alan Wake 2 #toa fandom

[queens-of-spirits]

Why the svsss papapa scenes are literary genius actually, Part 1:

So, fun fact, I originally wanted to do a funny little post where I ranked the four papapa scenes in svsss (with special mention to the start of the return to childhood extra and LMY’s writing) but my deranged ass decided to go full quirky English prof and turn this shit into a proper analysis.

So, believe it or not, the svsss papapa scenes are actually really important for understanding a lot of the characters and themes of the story. So yes. I am going to go through them all and explain why. Starting with…

Maigu Ridge (spoilers, obviously):

If this were actually my silly rankings post (which I still may make), Maigu ridge would rank dead last in any category related to actually being an enjoyable smut scene to read. That’s fine, because, to put it bluntly, that wasn’t the point.

It’s a subversion of the pressure and idea of the perfect first time or instinctive sexual skill seen in both power fantasy and romance/bl novels. That subversion and the shock of what happens is meant to take us out of the scene and make us think about the characters, the situation, and the tropes we take for granted. Remember, svsss is genre savvy twice over, both in Danmei/bl and power fantasy fiction. It explores both those worlds and the complicated aspects of both (I.e the obsession with revenge). It’s not trying to be a good smut scene, it’s setting up the characterization of the couple and the character arc seen throughout the rest of the papapa moments in the extras (more on that in future posts, but it’s about SQQ learning to be more open with his desire and pleasure) and exemplifying the main themes of the book (forgiveness and intention)

So without further ado, here is my analysis on this scene.

The notes about SQQ’s character in the Maigu Ridge scene should be obvious and understood by looking at the broad context of the scene. Like the Without a Cure moment, it shows how much he cares for LBH and his willingness to put his own life and body on the line to save him. It is devotion, pure and simple. However, more depth is revealed when examining specific passages (note all quotes are from the English publications because I don’t speak Chinese, so I’m sorry if the translation muddled the meaning).

The most vital part to me for Binghe’s character is this line:

“he’d done this out of consideration for Luo Binghe’s convenience, but unexpectedly he was flipped back around. Luo Binghe jammed himself between Shen Qingqiu’s legs, his entire attention rapt on Shen Qingqiu’s face.”

This refers to how SQQ tries to turn around so that LBH would not see his face during what is about to happen and LBH flipping him over again.

This, I believe is symbolic. SQQ turns around because he thinks that anyone will do and he is the only one willing, but that’s not true LBH wants SQH specifically. He needs to relieve the energy from the sword’s influence, yes, but despite that pain, he is focused solely on SQQ’s face.

The transformation from the stallion protagonist Bingge to our Bingmei is exemplified here better than any scene before it (I would argue it is later topped by the Bingge vs Bingmei extra). Unlike Binghe, Bingmei is not looking for mindless pleasure to escape his lonely life (represented here by the corrupting energy of the sword) he is seeking the one he adores above all, the one who he cares for more than anything. He has found true connection and THAT is what drives him to madness (remember, he’s trying to destroy everything to be the only one in SQQ’s world so he can’t be abandoned). That’s why, even when supposedly in a mad state, he seeks to look at SQQ’s face, because it isn’t about the sex, it’s about them, the two of them together.

The other vital part is the aftermath, before even the jade pendant. Specifically, this exchange:

“Shizun don’t hate me…I didn’t know…I never wanted to hurt you…why didn’t you push me away? Why didn’t you kill me?”

“This master knows. This master was willing”

Again, this was an act not born out of lust, like with Bingge and his wives, but something different. Bingge takes what he wants and feels no guilt because nothing was ever given to him, but Bingmei was given the world by one person and struggles with not feeling like, with not BEING the animal or monster that the rest of the world sees him as’

LBH had no intention to hurt SQQ

Just like how SQQ had no intention to hurt him by avoiding him

It’s symbolic of their relationship as a whole. Unintentional hurt and the forgiveness that follows. THATS why the remaining papapa scenes are so important. It’s about them learning to not hurt each other. Every single papapa scene that follows builds on this idea of them learning the right way to love each other (remember, their story together is just beginning after the last page of the book) and learning how to not hurt each other unintentionally, LBH physically, SQQ emotionally.

Again, clear themes of forgiveness and intention. The reasons behind why people do bad things (hence the focus on SJ and TLJ as complex characters) and the act of forgiveness and learning from mistakes, which I argue are the two main themes of SVSSS

So while Maigu ridge is terrible in terms of being an enjoyable scene to read, that was not it’s purpose. It’s purpose was to utilize the tropes of both Danmei and male fantasy to take us out of those genres (where first times always go well) and get us to THINK about the characters and why they do what they do, their intentions.

#bingqiu #svsss #shen qingqiu #luo binghe #luo bingge #luo bingmei #maigu ridge #scum villains self saving system #scum villian self saving system #papapa #SQQ #LBH #analysis #of things that maybe should not be #would my English teacher be proud or horrified? #you decide

[wrishwrosh]

re: tags on labor in historical fiction post, would be very interested to hear what the four examples you mentioned are!!

ok u know what that tag WAS bait, thank you for taking it. technically speaking these aren't works dealing strictly with labor in historical fiction, they are my four treasured examples of BUREAUCRAT FICTION (so not NOT about labor in history?) i was gonna try to make this post pithy and short but then i remembered how extremely passionate i am about this microgenre i made up. so sorry.

bureaucrat fiction is not limited by genre or format but criteria for inclusion are as follows: long and detour-filled story about functionary on the outside of society finding unexpected success within a ponderously large and powerful System/exploring themes of class and physicality and work and autonomy and what it means to hold power over others beneath the heartless crushing wheels of empire/sad little man does paperwork. also typically long as hell. should include at least one scene where the protagonist is unironically applauded-perhaps for the first time in their life-for filling out a form really good. without further ado:

soldier's heart by alex51324. the bureaucracy: british army medical corps during wwi. the bureacrat: mean gay footman/new ramc recruit thomas barrow. YEAH it's a downton abbey fic YEAH it's a masterpiece. i've talked about it before at length, my love has not faded. the crowning moment of bureaucracy is a long interlude where thomas optimizes the hospital laundry (this actually happens twice or maybe three times)

hands of the emperor by victoria goddard. the bureaucracy: crumbling fantasy empire some time after magical apocalypse. the bureacrat: passionate late-career clerk from the hinterlands cliopher mdang. i reread this book every winter bc it is as a warm bath for my SAD-addled brain and every time i neglect all my responsibilities to read all nine billion pages in three days. it puts abt 93% of the worldbuilding momentum into elaborating all of the ministries and secretaries and audits necessary to run a global government and like 7% into the magic and stuff. there are also several charming companion novellas and an equally long sequel that dives more into the central relationship between cliopher and the emperor which i highly recommend if you like gentle old man yaoi and/or magic, but there's more bureaucracy in HOTE.

the cromwell trilogy by hilary mantel. the bureaucracy: court of henry viii. the bureaucrat: thomas cromwell, the real guy. curveball! it's critically acclaimed booker prize winning rpf novel wolf hall! mantel is really interested in particular ways of gaining and maintaining power in delicate and labyrinthine systems like the tudor court, specifically in strongmen who use both physical intimidation and metaphysical manipulation to succeed. under these conditions i do think my best friend long-dead historical personage thomas cromwell counts as Bureaucrat Fiction (as do danton and robespierre in a place of greater safety. bonus rec.)

going postal by terry pratchett. the bureaucracy: fantasy postal service of ankh-morpork. the bureaucrat: conman, scammer, and little freak moist von lipwig. this is definitely shorter and lighter than the other three entries on the list, sort of a screwball take on the bureaucrat. but the mail is such a classic bureaucracy thing? who doesn't love thinking about the mail? also contains a key genre element which is a fraught sexual tension with the person immediately above the protagonist in their hierarchy, who is also their god-king and boyfriend-dad. you can't tell me vetinari isn't torturing moist psychologically AND sexually.

anyway sorry about all this. if you've read any of these come talk to me about them. bureaucrat fiction recs welcomed with the openest possible arms.

#this post was very challenging to write bc i cannot spell the word bureaucracy to save my life. EVERY time i forget where the U goes #long post #asks #bureacracy. beaureaucracy. bereaucracy. fuck french