#i know 12 got some great Lines but damn not a great deal more depth | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

palbabor-writes · 4 years

Note

Hellooo queen I hope you had/will have a great day. This is actually my first time requesting something so I’m very sorry if I do something wrong 🥺🥺... can you maybe write some fluff (OR NSFW I DONT MIND... just love him way too much damn) stuff for dabi?? I don't know if you only take requests with exact instructions or if this request is enough... if you need something more precise i will try to come up with something! Thank you very much!!

Hello, love! You did it perfectly & thank you so much for asking! I can be a bit of a lurker on things, so I totally get how much courage it takes to do one of these.

You did amazing & I love, love this question. I love it so much that I went ahead and took an old outline of mine & made it into a full blown fic for you!

Now, in honor of all the craziness swirling around our favorite flame user, Imma post it a little earlier then I’d planned! So, thank you for the ask & I hope to talk to you again ( ＾◡＾)っ ♡

Pairing: Dabi x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 7496

Warnings: SMUT, NSFW 18+ only, mentions of blood and gore, heat play, dick piercings, adult language and freaking Dabi. That alone should warn you.

Thermós θερμός ther·mos adjective m (feminine θερμή, neuter θερμόν); warm, hot, boiling, glowing

It’s sweltering; the fervor of summer sticky, humid, and oppressive. Japan is in the throes of August, and this heatwave is not letting up. Even at night, it’s impossible for Dabi to get comfortable. He’s been lying, half naked, draped across his narrow twin mattress for the last few hours, sweating.

His quirk isn’t helping matters.

He’s been trying to recruit new members. Every day, he sets out, pounding the pavement, sifting through the bits and pieces of trash that he runs into. It’s a pity. If those scrubs weren’t so fucking pathetic, he might not be in this predicament. But they are, and now he’s having to suffer the consequences of his temper.

His phone gleams on his dilapidated side table, a text message chiming across the screen as it flashes a speck of brightness into the darkened room. Groaning, he leans over and snatches it up, his hands slick as he clutches the encased plastic.

It’s Toga.

As a rule, he tries to avoid her. He hates her chatter. It’s always some unending nonsense about those UA kids, about Stain, or about fucking blood. It’s always blood with her. Give her five minutes, and she’ll work it into her conversation somehow, even if it’s just blurting it out, a blush staining her cheeks.

Fucking freak.

[ Blondie: 12:34 am ]

- found smth 4 u. (Y/N) has a place. Keeps it @ like 60 degrees… lol

Well, disgusting as Toga is, she has her uses; he thinks as he reads her text.

He’d asked her, a few days before, if she knew a place where he could crash. Somewhere that had some goddamn air conditioning. The hideout’s unit is on the fritz again, not that it had ever worked all that well.

Hmm, well this is something, at least.

Dabi’s isn’t sure what to think about Toga’s little ‘find’. You were a newer recruit, someone that Compress had brought in.

He hadn’t paid much attention to you. You didn’t stay at the base and were only around if there was a specific mission, or a task, that Shigaraki set for you. He isn’t even sure what your quirk is. You seemed easy-going, neutral, but he doubted you’d extend that easy-going demeanor to him camping out at your place for the A/C.

Chucking his phone back on the side table, Dabi flops to his side and tries to drift off, hoping his exhaustion will let him ignore the suffocating heat he’s drowning in.

Fuck.

He’d done it again. It was hard to resist the urge when these people spouted such vague fucking bullshit at him. No one, not fucking one of them, could live up to his cause. And if they couldn’t meet that standard? Well, they were better off as ash, melting into blackened pools as the asphalt greedily soaked their blood into its cracked depths.

There is a heat advisory today.

He’d heard the news as he scarfed down a quick breakfast at the hideout’s bar. He wouldn’t be out for that long, he reasoned. Besides, maybe today he’d find someone good.

Wishful thinking on his part.

His skin feels oppressive and his staples and piercings are scalding, the metal hissing and steaming as he tries to dampen his quirk. It’s harder to regulate his temperature on hot days. He shouldn’t be out here, he thinks, snarling as he pats out a few rogue flames that catch on his dark jacket. Even lifting his arm to perform that simple task makes him grunt, hissing out a mantra of curses.

Shit, fuck, goddamn it fucking all.

He looks bitterly up at the sun and debates his next move.

He could retreat to the bar, but that doesn’t solve his problem. No, the viscous heat that radiated along those upper floors would just make his skin feel worse. Hell, it might even result in more mottling, his burns stretching farther along his arms and chest. He’s not going back to the bar.

Where the fuck even is he?

He peers down the alley toward the street. It’s not too busy; just after noon, so most of the foot traffic from the morning has died down. He yanks his hood up, ignoring the ache of his legs as he stalks toward the street corner.

Carefully, he pokes out, his eyes tracing over the crosswalk, looking for the street signs. Ah. He’s close to that address, your address, that Toga sent him.

Slipping his hands into his pockets, he saunters along the pavement, careful to keep his head down.

You were out of town.

He’d picked up that tidbit from Compress this morning. The masked man had been lamenting that you might be away for a few days, possibly weeks. Something about being on a fact finding task for that shadowy voice that talked with Shigaraki from his tv.

He didn’t care, still doesn’t. All he knows is that you supposedly keep your place cold, and that’s all the encouragement he needs.

You’ve got a nice apartment.

It’s decorated in pleasing whites, yellows, reds and greens, with clean lines and modern touches. It’s kinda like you, he considers as he shrugs his coat off and breathes in that amazing waft of cold A/C. You’ve been useful to have in the League; efficient and no nonsense about the missions you're given and you can fit in with the outside world. You’d give even Toga a run for her money when it comes to espionage, he’s heard others say about you.

Dabi tosses a distasteful glare at your narrow couch and pads toward your bedroom, shouldering the door open and stepping into the dark sanctuary.

Your bed looks nice. It’s a good size too.

Lifting his boots from his feet and stripping down to his boxers, he presses into your clean sheets; shivering as the chilly air hits his overheated skin, cooling and dampening that oppressive sense of heat. He’s out in seconds, his body relaxing, slackening as he falls into the void of his dreams.

Yeah, now that he’s had this, there’s no way he’s staying at that hideout of the League’s unless he has to.

You’re gone for the better part of a week.

He’s started asking Compress about you. At first, the older man had given him an impassive stare. Since when did Dabi even know your name?

He’s asking because he needs to talk with you about… uh… supplies?

This, apparently, is the correct thing to say, because Compress nods his head sagely and elaborates on your timetable. You’re collecting things for Kurogiri and you’ll be gone for another few days.

Good, Dabi thinks, slinking into your apartment again, lowering the window behind him. He’s careful to leave things as he found them, his entryway into your place included. You don’t need to know about this.

What the fuck would he even say to you?

Hey, uh, it’s fucking hot at the hideout, and since you’ve got a working A/C unit and like 3 fans, he’s been sleeping over at yours. No big deal, right?

Even after you return, he keeps sneaking in.

He’s gotten your schedule memorized, and he’s heedful of the hours you keep. You’re a little more regular than the others in the League. You actually sleep at night; unlike the rest. The others are often out at God knows what hour, combing for recruits and leads, but not you.

So, Dabi shifts into full night owl mode. He crashes at your place in the midmorning, after you leave for the day, trying to ignore the perfume that comes from your sheets.

You’ve got a nice smell.

It’s oddly comforting, and he hates when he accidentally burrows into your pillows; nostrils flared, inhaling that aroma that’s all you. While he’s never talked with you before this, he goes out of his way to ignore you now.

What he’s doing is fucking weird, and lines are blurring. The other week he’d bumped into you coming out of the bar and he’d almost snatched you to him.

You must have just showered, because that fucking scent was radiating off your skin. It’s nothing too, eh, feminine? No, it’s more like… oranges and sandalwood. It’s a heady blend of rich balsamic and citrus, and he can’t get it out of his head.

August has faded into September, and he’s still sleeping over at yours.

He can’t help it. It’s not his fault your bed is so downy and, fuck, cool. It’s like the sheets don’t absorb his warmth. No, they’re always cold and they feel so fucking good against his staples and burned skin.

It’s midmorning, closer to noon, and he’s dozing, his eyes heavy and drooping. He’s exhausted, so bone tired, that he doesn’t hear your door opening. No, he doesn’t even notice you until he hears your voice.

“Um, would you like to tell me why you’re in my bed?”

He’s on his feet in a flash, a slow flicking of blue flames tracing along his fingers. You’re framed in your doorway, eyes wide, stepping away from his aggressive stance.

“Woah, woah,” you begin, lifting your hands in supplication. “Let’s just… take a minute and talk. I’m not-”

“You’re not supposed to be here,” he snaps, his cerulean eyes narrowing, but he dampens his fire, a long curling of smoke framing his face.

“Uh, I think you got that backward there, bud. You’re not supposed to be here, I live here,” you scoff, one hand propping on your hip, head tilted exaggeratedly.

Dabi is about to spit something else out when you stride into your bedroom, tugging your jacket off and sauntering over to a tall dresser. He snaps his mouth closed and watches you. He’s not sure how he’s going to talk his way out of this, and he’s grateful for the reprieve. But, he knows an onslaught of anger or, fuck, preserve him, a lecture is incoming. Worst case, he thinks, observing you from his peripheral as you tug out a long shirt and some shorts, you’ll just kick him out and that will be that.

You glance at him again, your eyes lingering over his exposed chest and legs, and he can’t help the scowl that breaks over his face. He’s not embarrassed, he’s just, well, he’s not sure how to classify that stare. Most people recoil or toss him a glance of pity, their brows wrinkled with worry and distaste. But you? You arched an eyebrow and smiled.

Fucking weirdo.

Pausing in your doorway, you bite your lip into your mouth and carefully speak your next statement, voice smooth. “Look, while I’d rather you, oh, I don’t know, asked me about staying here. I’m not in the mood to argue with you, and I’ve got a long journey ahead of me tonight.” You take a deep inhale and toss him another smile.

“Just… just lay back down and get some rest. I promise I won’t molest you,” you tease, and he snaps his head up at that, his chin jutting in agitation.

You laugh at his sour face and he feels wrong-footed; lost. What the fuck? Who says shit like that? Who is in their right mind is just, oh, no worries man, promise I won’t grab your dick?

What’s wrong with you?

“I’m going to change and then I’m going to go to sleep. You can go, or you can stay, I really don’t care. All I know is that I’m not going to sleep on the couch when I’m in my apartment.” You retort, that grin still lifting your lips as you step away, the wall shielding you from his view.

Dabi remains where he is; standing in your bedroom, clad in his boxers, his hands clenched into fists by his side. Somehow this is worse than you throwing him out.

You return a few minutes later and he can’t get a good look at you. You slink past him and are under your covers in an instant. Not that he’s trying to give you a once over, he snarls to himself, shaking his inky head.

You nestle into the comforter and turn to your side, leaving him plenty of room on the opposite end of the bed. He blinks at you, a deep welling of uncertainty nestling in his stomach.

You’re quiet for a long moment, your eyes closing and shoulders relaxing, acting like there’s not a wanted, deadly villain in your bedroom, paces from your side. Then, you twist, giving him a quick scan, your eyes lingering over his.

“Either lay down or get out, Dabi. I’m not going to be able to sleep with you glaring at me like that. You look like some kinda ghost.”

Your declaration provokes a huffing, agitated reaction out of him. If there’s one thing Dabi hates, it’s being told what to do.

He slings himself beside you, splaying out, his body laying on top of the sheets. You chuckle, your head peeking at him over your shoulder. He ignores you and tries to close his eyes.

It feels strange, resting next to you like this. It’s… intimate, and he’s not sure if he hates or likes the sensation. He chances a glance at you, but you’ve already turned back to your side, your shoulders rising and lowering rhythmically. He shakes his head at your blasé reaction. How can you just, fuck, sleep?

He can’t get comfortable and his skin feels heavy again. It’s not heat this time. No, now something else is making everything feel too close, too warm.

He dampens his thoughts, mind frantically focusing on anything but you. As the sun slips behind the buildings across the street, his eyes lower and he fitfully sleeps, your rich smell filling his senses.

He’d left you in the night; tucking his clothes back on and easing out of your window.

True to your word, you’d relegated yourself to your side of the bed, hardly tossing or turning as you slept. As he paced back to the hideout, he wasn’t sure what he’d gotten himself into. He just hoped you’d keep your mouth shut. He didn’t want the others knowing about this, it felt, well it’s not like him. Abrasive- fucking spewing anger and vitriol? Yeah, that was him. But this? This was too soft, too gentle. He hated it.

But that’s the problem with hate. It’s terribly close to that other emotion. They’re sisters, really. Usually love and hate exist on two sides, but they’re still the same coin, no matter how you toss them.

You don’t act any differently after that night.

You keep coming to the hideout, giving him a vague smile and greeting before continuing your day. He’s acting differently, though. He can’t help but watch you, suddenly fascinated with how you move. He tries his best to shake himself from his musings, but sometimes he can’t help it.

If anything, he grumbles to himself, watching you chatter with Toga, you’re subtly going out of your way to place yourself in front of him. You were never around this much before. Well, maybe you were. He didn’t pay you any mind back then, but now? Now he can’t get enough of you.

He reacts when you laugh, or talk, his head turning, like a sunflower, toward the light you give off. Ugh. His only hopeful reprieve from this, from you, is the changing seasons. The days are getting shorter and that heatwave is finally, finally breaking.

It’s his one comfort, his saving grace.

Yeah, he should have fucking never tossed that wish into the universe.

No, another heatwave passes over the island and it’s the worst one yet. The daily temperatures have been hitting the low 100s and the nights aren’t much better. To make matters worse, the A/C at the hideout has given up the ghost and won’t turn on at all now.

Still, Dabi’s prepared. He’d bought a secondhand electric fan a few weeks ago, and he’s grateful for the tiny slice of paradise that it grants him. It’s not as nice as your apartment, or your bed, but it will do.

He’s laying across his mattress, sweat trickling down his back and shoulders, trying to ignore that ache in his burned skin. The fan is blowing across him and he’s about to crank it up a notch when it gives out an ominous sputter.

Dabi sits up, his eyes flashing. No, no, no, no. There’s no fucking way.

The fan’s blades are slowing, that sweet, cool air dampening, drifting into the low-lying humidity that surrounds him. He yanks the plug from the wall, his staples stinging as he stands. He stomps over to the outlet and plugs the fan back in, turning on his haunches to see if the blades will start that familiar whirl.

There’s fuck all happening.

Cursing, he kicks the shitty thing over and grabs his jacket, storming down the stairs and into the night.

You’re sleeping when he slinks under your window sill, sliding the glass shut and kicking his heavy boots to the floor. It’s that sound that wakes you, and you lift yourself up, your sheets falling from your chest, revealing a bare shoulder and low cut shirt to him. Unabashed by your appearance, you wipe a palm over your eyes, rubbing the sleep away and croaking out a greeting.

“When I said you could sleep over here, I didn’t mean you could barge in at all hours. And through my window? So, that’s why the hinge looks like that.”

Dabi considers you for a moment, his blue eyes gleaming in the moonlight. You tilt your head at him and suck your teeth.

“A, oh, I don’t know, sorry, would be nice?” you scold, that alluring smile lifting your lips. He follows the line of your mouth, his thoughts hazing over, focusing on some other, darker, daydream.

“Hello?” you call, waving your hand beside your face. “Earth to Dabi. What do you want?”

That question slips him out of his stupor and he lifts his eyes back to yours. “The A/C is out. Bought a fan a few weeks ago, but the fucking thing broke and I can’t… it’s hard to regulate my body temperature in this fucking heat. You keep this place like an icebox, so I started crashing here. Wasn’t planning on coming back, but after tonight-”

“Ok, ok,” you laugh, already scooting over and flinging the covers back. “Seeing as you didn’t try any funny business last time, I guess I’ll let it slide. Just, not to be rude, but shut up and let me sleep. I’ve gotta long day tomorrow and as enthralling as this conversation is…”

“Whatever,” Dabi mutters, slinging his damp shirt over his head and pacing over to the side of your bed. You blink up at him and shake your head, that tiny grin lingering. He presses into your familiar sheets, eyes already slipping closed as the fragrance of you pulls at him.

It’s early when he wakes, shuddering out of a nightmare, red flames and crying voices fading into the back of his mind.

Wincing, he raises a hand to his eyes and pulls at his face, relieved that it’s still cool air that meets him. As he rolls to his side, he feels something trace over his unscarred chest. The sensation makes him freeze, his eyes snapping open again, the cerulean searching, whisking over the dim figure beside him.

You’re still sleeping, but you’ve shifted, your body curled, facing him, and one of your hands is reaching toward him. Shit, he thinks, heart pounding in his ears. You’re so close.

He’s never been this close to you.

Your mouth is parted, delicate lips plush and soft in the early morning gloom. He tries to shift away, but your brow creases when he does, so he stills his movements, gritting his teeth and trying to ignore that flush that is building across his nose.

This is stupid. It’s just you. It’s not like the two of you have even done anything. Fuck, you barely talk with one another.

He burrows his head into his pillow and the shift of his body urges you closer to him, your hand opening and pressing to his skin. A sigh slips from your mouth as your fingers splay out, tapping against his warmth, and he nearly startles off the bed.

He looks down at your hand, aghast. He wants to move it off of him; can’t stand that you’re touching him, he tells himself, that you’re this close to him. But he can’t bring himself to move. Your hand is so delicate, so…

Unconscious, you turn from him, your fingers lifting on their own, curling back to you. Dabi almost moans as you slip from him, clamping down on the sudden, primal desire that races through him. He wants to grab you; to drag you back to him.

The hell? What the fuck is wrong with him?

Sucking his teeth, he turns over, facing away from the confusing neediness that’s lapping at his subconscious. He fluffs his pillow aggressively, trying to drown out all the raw emotions that are racing through his mind.

Forget it. Sleep.

When he wakes again, you’re gone.

The sheets where you slept are cold under his fingertips and he sits up, his arms resting on his knees. This whole situation is so fucking weird.

He lets himself ease into consciousness before standing and stretching out the leftover kinks in his muscles; stooping to grab his discarded shirt, pulling the fabric over his head and shaking his dark head against the sunlight. Just as he’s slipping his coat on, he notices the note that’s sitting on one of your bedroom chairs. It’s got his name on it, so he snatches it up, flipping open the folded paper.

“There’s some leftover pizza in the fridge, I won’t have time to eat it. Help yourself. There’s also a spare key on the coffee table. Take it and stop jimmying my window open.”

Scoffing, he crumples the paper up, tossing it over his shoulder as he paces into your kitchen.

It’s a fucking thing now.

He’s rarely at the hideout. Why bother? You don’t seem to care if he sleeps over. Hell, you make space for him. There’s gotta be something else to it; there has to be. What kinda idiot is so fucking accommodating? You act like you’re a fucking hostel or something. Well, a hostel where there’s only one bed.

You even bought another fan. You told him you don’t like to keep the overhead one on in the cooler weather, so he can use this one for his side of the bed.

Yeah, he’s got a goddamn side of the bed. It’s fucking insane.

The other members of the League either haven’t noticed what’s going on between the two of you, or they don’t care. It’s not like either of you talk about your sleeping habits. Fuck, you still never interact with him at the hideout, content to maintain that level of professionalism.

He’s not sure why it bothers him.

One night, the temperature drops into the low 40s and he’s stretched out on your blankets, enjoying the first real cold snap of the fall, when he sees you shivering. It’s not very noticeable, what with the way you’re turned away and bundled, but it makes him tilt his head toward you, watching.

Another pass of his fan has you repeating the quake and, without thinking, he pulls you closer, one long arm wrapping around your shoulder and tugging. Startled, you fight his hold, but he calms your movements with a squeeze, grumbling about your stoic reluctance.

What’s the big deal? It’s not like you haven’t brushed up against him before. Calm down.

You quiet after that and slowly, tentatively, you lean against his bare chest, your cheek cool against his heated skin. He tucks his chin over your head and tries to keep his breathing even. He doesn’t want you to hear, fuck, feel his heartbeat; it’s slamming its way out of his throat and he gulps when your fingers pull him closer.

“How are you so warm?” you ask, your breath floating across his pectorals.

“It’s my stupid quirk,” Dabi mutters, dipping his head down to his pillow, shifting you with him. You nod against his lean muscles and your fingertips trace cool designs into his skin, lingering over his burnt patches and staples. He sighs, unable to resist the low shiver that creeps up his spine.

This is nice; too fucking nice.

He can’t do without your touch now.

Remember that thing about love and hate being sisters? Well, that hate is simmering into something else for Dabi. It’s not love, he doesn’t know you well enough, but it’s certainly not hate anymore.

He likes touching you. You’re smooth against his jagged skin and he enjoys the contrast. He’s slow when he pulls you against him, careful to not snag you against his staples, but you seem to like his heat. You’ve even started wearing less to bed, slipping out of that baggy shirt and into a thin tank top; he’s pleased that he has more of you to caress.

It’s getting harder to keep you out of his head. He can smell your perfume, even if he hasn’t seen you for days, and each time he does see you, even at the hideout, his fingers itch to press against you.

You’d laughed at his sudden, intense, interest. The hell Dabi, are you touch starved or something? You’d teased. What’s up with you? I was worried about you burning down my apartment, not you turning into some kind of cuddle fiend.

He doesn’t care what you say. He knows it’s fucking stupid, fucking dumb, that he’s this desperate. It just feels good. And there’s not much about him that feels good these days, so he’ll take what he can get. Fuck you very much.

There’s a meeting. It’s one of the ones where Shigaraki demands that everyone make their way to the bar.

Boss man has been tense lately, thrumming with some dark energy, so the room is quiet as Kurogiri elaborates on the smaller details of the mission. Your part is minimal, limited to reconnaissance with Toga. It’s boring shit, and Dabi is only half listening to any of it.

Besides, there’s something else that’s snagging his attention.

Dabi is sitting on the couch, his eyes lingering on you. You’re wearing one of his favorite outfits and the color looks good on you. It brings out your eyes. You’re questioning Spinner and Toga about the finer points of your team up. He can’t hear you from here, but that doesn’t matter, he’s still in the best spot to spy you leaning forward, perfect ass on full display.

“She’s gotten better, more adept at working undercover,” Compress’ voice shakes Dabi from his thoughts and he turns to him, a bland frown on his face.

“Who?”

“Please, you know who I’m talking about. You can’t stop looking at her.”

He chortles, his laugh a sharp bark. “You’re fucking joking. Her? Fuck, no. I’m gonna head out, not like the boss has anything for me anyway,” Dabi stands, slipping his hands into his trench coat and pacing to the heavy door, shouldering his way into the night.

He leans against the brick wall, lighting up a cigarette and sighing a thin line of smoke into the chilled air. Fuck, they’re noticing what’s going on. Wait. What is going on? It’s not like the two of you are fucking. Yet, a small voice echoes in the back of his mind, and he smirks at that thought.

Yeah, maybe it’s time to speed things up.

You step out a few minutes later, your eyes searching for him. He flicks his cigarette onto the pavement and wraps his fingers in your coat, tugging you to him. You don’t fight him; don’t make a sound as he pins you against the brick, his body hot against your front.

The two of you watch the other, his cerulean eyes roving over your face. Then he’s lifting your chin, his lips sliding across yours. It’s a strange kiss. Usually, he’s too busy trying to get off to focus on his partner. He rarely kisses anyone, even if he’s hooking up. But this kiss?

Like everything else about you, it’s fucking nice.

You move with him, your body surging from the brick, breasts flattening against his chest, fingers cupping behind his ears; nipping and sucking at him, your teeth digging into his burned lower lip and pulling. You’re encouraging him to touch you next, rubbing yourself on him until his hands fall to your hips. He’s already half hard, and that warm juncture of your thighs isn’t helping matters.

To his shock, he’s having trouble keeping up.

You’re already pulling from him when he dips his tongue into your mouth. He gasps at the emptiness, that chilling vacancy that your touch leaves him panting into. Before he can bemoan your absence, you’re kissing at his neck, lifting on your tiptoes to reach the staples on the side of his face. You lick at him, your wet tongue dragging over his burns. He trembles under your hands and you smile, your laugh bright.

Snarling, Dabi yanks your head back and you meet his hazy gaze, biting your lip; pantomiming a wonton innocence. Immediately, he’s pushing you into the brick, his hands cupping and lingering until you’re whining for him. That’s fucking better, he thinks, his teeth worrying against your pulse.

Just when he’s got you where he wants you, your hand snakes between the two of you, pressing against the bulge of his dick. Dabi can’t help his sharp intake of air, and his head falls to your shoulder as he ruts into your palm. You keep kissing at the side of his face, your lips roving over his ear as you tug at his covered dick. You’re saying something, but he can’t focus when you’re doing that.

“Dabi,” you try again, teeth ensnaring his destroyed earlobe, sucking at the burnt skin. “They’re about to come out.”

He knocks your hand away from his straining, throbbing length and leans away from you. Fuck, you look good.

Your lips are swollen, and your eyes are dazzling. He can’t pull himself away. You smile at his dazed expression and lift a hand to his cheek, your palm cool against his overheated skin.

The door shudders open and the two of you spring apart. A few minutes later Toga is grabbing at your arm and pulling you down the street, away from him.

He’s waiting outside your apartment, another cigarette smoldering to ash under his lips. But he can’t bring himself to go in.

Not without you.

Toga’s kept you busy. It’s been over an hour since that kiss in the alleyway. He’s cooled off since then, but that simmering heat that you elicited from him? That hasn’t dimmed. He’s still half hard against his dark pants and he can’t bring himself to care. Besides, Dabi has a very specific idea about how he’s going to have you lessen that pressure for him.

He’s just about to light another cigarette when he sees you.

You walk into your building, and he starts the long climb up the fire escape. His heart is pounding again. He hasn’t wanted something this badly in ages. He’s been so fucking focused on his cause, on making his plans a reality; he just hasn’t had the time.

But now? Fuck, he wants there to be more hours in the day. He’s hoping the two of you can pick up where you left off. Yeah, he tells himself, scaling the last few steps, it’s just about the sex.

That sounds better than saying what he really wants.

You’re already slipping your oversized sleep shirt over your head when he lifts your window. You pause, watching him curl his way into your space. Once he pulls his legs inside he turns to you, his eyes dark, unfathomable, the blue so deep that you feel you’re drowning in it.

He doesn’t shut the window. Instead, he yanks his clothes off, clattering them against your floor. You smile and a gentle laugh makes its way to him.

“What did I say about coming in through the window?” you chuckle, already lifting your arms for him.

He’s against you in a single breath, his warmth seeping its way into your chilled skin. His lips are rough, pressing and lifting, biting and nipping. He’s working you toward your bed and once your knees hit the edge of your mattress, he’s shoving you down.

You flop against the cold blankets, your legs already spreading for his hips. He’s hot, scaldingly hot, against your hands. Your fingers dip into his hair and you pull him back, earning a low growl and his flashing glare, displeasure written all over his face.

“Slow down,” you scold, your legs wrapping around his hips, grinding against the hardness you find.

“The fuck? You goddamn tease. Fucking saying that, then rubbing your wet pussy all over my dick,” Dabi snarls, snatching your wrists and pinning your hands beside your head.

“How do you know it’s wet?” you ask, batting your eyes at his steeled jaw.

“It fucking better be,” he groans, his teeth sinking into your neck and pressing, hard.

You gasp at the stimulation and arch for him, testing his hold on your wrists. Grunting, he licks a wet line to your pulse, his hands tightening over yours. “Mmm, why don’t you find out?” you ask, leaning into his lips, loving the contrast of his destroyed and perfect skin.

He shifts his grip on you, yanking your arms up, pinning your hands above your head. He lifts one of his own hands away once he’s satisfied he’s got a good hold on you. His warm fingers trace down your side, pausing when he gets to the lacy band of your panties. Teasingly, he pulls fabric away from your skin, and lets it snap against your hip. Dabi tips his nose into the curve of your neck and shoulder, taking a deep drag against you.

You buck your hips, squirming under his weight. “You get lost? My pussy is a little further down.”

He chuckles darkly, his breath making you shiver. You’re just about to wriggle from him when one long finger eases past your panties and presses into your sopping heat. “Oh,” you gasp, your eyes rolling back. It feels like he’s heated his fingertip, and the skin that’s stroking and thrusting into you is warm, too warm.

Dabi leans away from your neck, bracing himself above you with his knees, pulling himself into a hunched position. He’s smirking at your awed expression and his teeth glow in the darkness.

“Like I said doll, you’re already so fucking wet for me. You want more?”

You nod and buck your hips, digging that finger deeper. He groans at your eagerness and you can feel him warming the next digit up, the tip burning against the soft flesh of your inner thighs.

Once it’s in, he starts to v the two, dragging them along your rippling walls, spreading you open, easing you into his hand. Your slick is sliding down your legs and seeping into the sheets. Still, Dabi keeps on, maintaining that steady stretch. It starts to sting and you shift away, but he releases your wrists, free hand moves to your hip, stilling you.

You glance up at him, curious. His eyes are hooded, the blue a velvety sapphire. He looks like he’s holding himself back from something. Almost like… like he’s handling you with more care than he’s ever given anything. It’s a strange thought, but the idea of it makes you reach for him, your fingers running down his discolored skin, lingering over the staples and piercings.

“I’ve gotta stretch you out,” he informs you, his eyes closing behind his trembling eyelids, savoring your gentle caress.

“Hmm, you that big?” you joke, fully expecting him to react, to silence you with a kiss or another well-timed thrust of his fingers. But he surprises you. He opens his eyes and fixes you with a rough stare, his digits continuing that aching pull. You’re throbbing around him, your arousal easing his passage, his extensions.

“I don’t want to… hurt-” he stops, his eyes narrowing. With an inaudible sigh, he slides down your body, only halting once he’s face to face with your sleek cunt. His breath heaves against you and you wrap a leg over his back, holding him close.

Dabi laves his tongue over you, latching onto your pulpy clit and giving it a soft suck. Your hands sink into his hair, curling into the spiky tendrils, urging him to give you more.

He rewards your needy moans with another lick and he flicks his eyes up to yours, watching you over your shaking curves.

“I’m going to add another finger,” he tells you, preparing you for another deep stretch. When he enters you almost pull from him, your hips bowing away at the pricking of pain. Sensing your distress, he keeps his lips around your pulsing clit, distracting you with kisses and low blows of air.

Finally, you can feel yourself loosening. Your feet brace against your bed and you use the leverage to maneuver him deeper. You feel, you feel so…

Dabi, realizing that your cunt is quivering around his intruding digits, shifts closer, his piercings rubbing against your thighs. He’s sloppy now, less controlled. His tongue is circling your clit with furious laps and he lets a canine trace the bud. His fingers are still spreading and he’s found that spongy spot now. He taps against it, teasing you, making you clench and gasp around him.

Just when you think you can’t take it anymore, when it seems like all the sensations are too, too, much; it snaps. The coiling in your core pulls free and you’re moaning, so loudly you’re worried your neighbors will hear. His name is falling from your lips at a rapid rate and you can feel his smirk as he lifts his fingers from your cunt.

Dabi leans away and you shake at the loss of him. He was so warm, so hot against your damp skin and you miss it. He watches you, tucking his fingers into his mouth, lapping the final bits of your release from him.

“Take off your clothes,” he demands when he’s finished, his hands already dropping to his tented boxers, slipping the elastic down his trim waist.

You shift to obey, your hands yanking your shirt, bra and soaked panties off of you. You splay under him, indolently admiring the sight that is revealed to you. Oh, you think, unable to contain your small gasp, he is big.

His cock is long, thick, and curved, and it’s dripping with pre-cum. There’s a crossed set of piercings at the tip of his length and you watch, mesmerized, as a shimmering strand of his arousal catches on the shiny silver, leeching down the smooth length of him. He’s bigger than anything you’ve ever taken, and that thought makes you shiver with anticipation, and a small sliver of worry.

Dabi grins wildly at your flushed face. “Like what you see?”

You nod, and he laughs, fingers snatching your legs, tugging you toward him. You spread for him, so eager and fucking turned on you can’t think straight. His hand lowers to his cock, and he strokes himself as he rechecks your silken cunt, gathering some of the gossamer strands of your arousal on his fingers as he ensures that you’re ready to take him.

“I’m not going to go slow,” he warns you, his eyes lifting from your folds.

Gulping and biting your lip, you nod, a shaking exhale escaping your lungs. He shifts himself nearer and begins to press. He’s right, you think, wincing at the sting of his intrusion. He’d stretched you out, licked you until you were leaking all over the bed, but it hurts.

It takes him a moment to bottom out. Once he does, he groans and gasps above you. “Fuck (Y/N), you’re so damn tight.”

You flop your head against your pillow and let out a long sigh. He’s holding still as you adjust, and, despite his warning, he’s being careful with you. It makes your chest squeeze. After a few more pained breaths, you can feel a low tingling radiating from your core. It’s like an itch. Experimentally, you cant your hips, your legs wrapping around his waist, cautious of the stapled skin across his lower back.

Dabi mutters a soft curse and pulls back, his length sliding out of your drenched pussy. When he glides back in, you feel that same tingling sensation. Distantly, you realize it must be those piercings of his, but you’re too overwhelmed by the sensation to process it fully.

“Hold on,” he groans, his hands bracing beside your head. You lace your arms around his bowed neck, and he starts to pounds into you. It’s a calculated motion, but- ah- he’s taking the extra second between his powerful pulls and thrusts to scrape his pelvis against your pulsating clit, stimulating you, ensuring that dim blaze pleasure within you keeps building. Whimpering, you arch your back, your ankles locking around him, encouraging him to keep going. You feel so good, so full, filled to the brim and practically begging him for more.

Sloppily, his mismatched lips find yours and he nibbles and kisses at you. The sheer heat of him is making you both slick with sweat. You don’t mind the salty, dampened feeling, if anything, it eases his motions.

You’re so wet now that he’s gliding easily into you; that piercing of his heating up, and the rapid fire thrusts he’s giving you create a smoldering inside you; like he’s catching you on fire from the inside out.

His hips stutter and he lifts one hand from the bed, his thumb easily finding your clit. He presses a tight circle across you and you see spots.

“Come on,” he groans, his voice hoarse, strained, “cum for me (Y/N). Fucking cum on my dick.”

That desperation in his tone is all that it takes.

Seconds later, you’re arching and shaking so much that he has to hold you still. He eases into you a final time, his frantic thrusts slowing, spacing out as he enjoys your rippling channel, and the fiery feeling of his own release almost hurtles you over the edge again. You curl against him, panting into his burnt ear, licking at the damaged skin.

Dabi leans heavily against you, one large hand pressing into your lower back, lifting you to him. Once he comes back to himself, he kisses at your shoulder, his warm breath making you shiver. He eases himself out of you and your legs clamp together, holding his cum inside you. It still feels so, so hot, and you’re not ready to let it drip out of you, not yet.

He untangles himself from you and adjusts some of his staples, wincing against the sting of his marred and clean flesh. Realizing what he’s doing, you slip from the bed and pad into your bathroom. You clean yourself off and grab a bottle of hydrogen peroxide, dampening a clean cloth with the solution.

“Here. It’s got some peroxide on it,” you tell him as you reenter the bedroom, tossing the rag his way. He catches it easily, dabbing it over himself, careful to not snag it on any of his loose skin. While he’s busy doing that, you snatch up his discarded white shirt and sling it over your head. He looks at you and scoffs.

“What’s wrong with yours?” he asks, tossing the cloth onto the floor.

“Yours looked better,” you inform him, returning to his side and leaning close. He rolls his eyes at you and you shift into his open lap, straddling his hips. Grinning, you kiss at his neck again, sneaking a few groans from him. Sighing as you give him a particularly hard nip, he bats you off of him, tumbling you down to the sheets.

“Give me a fucking minute,” he complains, shaking his head as you wrap around him, pulling him into your arms. Once he’s settled onto the bed you turn, pressing your back to his chest, relaxing into the familiar hold. He snorts, amused by your sudden change of mind.

Dabi lowers his forehead to the back of your head, a small smile rising along his lips. Your breathing evens out and he listens to the sound, trying to memorize each little detail of you.

Yeah, this is it, he tells himself as he drifts off. The rest is just extra. Oh, it’s nice, to be sure, but this, this right here is what he really wants.

Notes: Soft, soft Dabi. I like him like this ꒰ ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱ ˖°

Tags: @evesmores, @spicy-skull, @xwildskullx

#dabi #toya todoroki #i can put that #like omg #bnha smut #dabi x reader #dabi x y/n #dabi x you #toya x reader #toya x y/n #toya x you #tw: blood #tw: gore #tw: dabi #tw: heat play #answered asks #asks

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socialyawkdude · 5 years

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Top 10 animes for first time viewers

Hello, my socially awkward friends,

I’m back after a much-needed vacation to bring you the content, which you crave. In recent weeks, I’ve been approached by friends and colleagues, about what amines they should watch. To say that it was a loaded question is an understatement. With the world of anime and manga being so vast, it's hard to know where to start.

After thinking it over, I’ve decided to follow suit of my supernatural top 10 and do a top 10 for anime for beginners.

Today's post will cover amines for first-time viewers. Let me start by saying that, This Is my Opinion! Please do not jump my bones because of the line-up. Now with that being said, let get this party started.

(10) Sailor Moon/Sailor Moon Crystal

Written by Nanoko Takeuchi

Genre/subgenre: Magical girl, action, romance, shoujo, superhero

Manga original run: (December 28, 1991, to February 3, 1997)

Anime Run: Sailor Moon (1992-1993) 46 episodes

Sailor Moon R (1993- 1994) 43 episodes

Sailor Moon S (1994- 1995) 38 episodes

Sailor Moon Super S (1995- 1996) 39 episode

Sailor Moon Sailor Star (1996- 1997) 34 episodes

The series follows the adventures of the protagonist Usagi Tsukino, a middle school student who is given the power to become the titular Sailor Soldier. Joined by other Sailor Soldiers, they defend Earth against an assortment of evil villains.

Let us start with a classic, remade for the modern-day. For quite a few of my generation, Sailor Moon was our introduction to the world of anime. I can remember watching sailor moon, in the early morning before the school bus came. Sailor Moon was the beginning of my love affair with anime.

Now here is what I got to say on sailor moon. It is a bit wonky, timeline-wise. Sailor Moon's overall timeline can be a bit hard to follow. That is if you are going in-depth with it. As long as you stay away from the headache inducing timeline, you’ll be ok.

(9)Bleach

Written by Tite Kubo

Genre/subgenre: Action, Adventure, Shonen, Supernatural, Comedy

Original manga run: August 7, 2001 - August 22, 2016

Original anime run: October 5, 2004 - March 27, 2012

366 episodes

What can I say about Bleach? It is one of my favorite anime’s of all time. It's not perfect but what is? You have a diverse cast of characters, a good story and plenty of action. In my opinion, that makes a great anime for beginners. For me, Bleach was my return to anime, after years of not watching. I think that I've watched this anime from beginning to end, one too many times.

I'm talking watching the U.S. airing up to the point that I had the watch in Japanese. I finished the anime a full 2 years before the finale aired in the U.S. I would highly recommend this anime to any beginners.

(8) Restaurant to another World

Written by Junpei Inuzuku

Genre/subgenre= Fantasy, Isekai

Manga Original Run: November 18, 2016, to June 25, 2019

Anime original Run: July 3, 2017, to September 18, 2017

12 episodes

I was recommended this anime by a friend of a friend. I am going, to be honest; I didn't know what I was getting into. This would be my first experience with isekai anime. Looking back on this anime, it is quite an anime. Not much action, but at a great story. I would not recommend watching after a 420 session, you will get the munchies.

(7) Sword Art Online

Written by Reki Kawahara

Genre/Subgenre= Isekai, Fantasy, Action, Adventure

Light Novel Original Run: April 10, 2009, to present

Anime original run:

Sword Art Online = July 8, 2012, to December 23, 2012

Sword Art Online II= July 5, 2014, to December 30, 2014

Sword Art Online Alicization = October 6, 2018, to present

And here we go again with another isekai. The genre in itself is pretty much the same across animes. Someone dies and is sent to another world, but Sword Art Online is different. Instead of dying and going to another world; our main character is trapped in a virtual world and if he dies there, he dies in the real world.

In general, I've been pretty hard on SAO because of its a little too real world for me. It deals with some very real-world issues. To give some examples: Death, rape, incest, and other issues. To top it all off, with it being 2019; we are only months away from when the anime begins. (Where is my damn nervegear?)

If you can get past all of that it's a decent anime. The first arc is by far the best. The second arc is OK and the third I haven't finished yet. Sword Art Online is a good anime for beginners, in my opinion. Plus, Sword Art Online always puts out a beyond great soundtrack.

(6) The Saga of Tanya the Evil

Written by Carlo Zen

Genre/subgenre: Isekai, fantasy

Manga Original run: April 26, 2016, to present

Anime original run: January 6, 2017, to March 31, 2017

12 Episodes

Here we are with the last isekai on our list. I understand that there have been quite a few listed, but besides the honorable mentions, there are no more. The Saga of Tanya the Evil is the perfect end of the isekai on this list.

Following the usual isekai tropes, Tanya the evil can best be described as a fantasy, historical alternative reality anime; taking place in a world similar to World War 1. As of this post, I'm only eight episodes in and quite enjoying it. I highly recommend checking it out.

(5) Fairy Tail

Written By Hiro Mashima

Genre/Subgenre: Shonen, Action, Adventure, Fantasy

Manga Original run: August 2, 2006, to July 26, 2017

Anime original Run: October 12, 2009, to Present

328 + episodes

It was around 7 years ago that a friend recommended fairy tail, to me. At the time, it wasn't my cup of tea. I was following Bleach, at the time, and hadn't leaped into the world of anime. Fast forward several years and it is still not my cup of tea. Now here is the thing, even though I may not be into fairy tail, ii know a good anime when I see it Given that fairy tail is entering its last full season; it a great choice for beginners and old alike. This is why I’m giving it the number 5 spot.

(4) Attack on Titan

Written by Hajime isayama

Genre/Subgenre: Dark fantasy, post-apocalyptic

Original manga run: September 9, 2009, to present

Original anime run: April 7, 2015, to present

Attack on Titan is one of those manga/animes that is a hit from day one. With a post-apocalyptic feel straight out of someone's worse nightmare. This isn't the zombie apocalypse folks; this is something far worse. The following that Attack on Titan has garnered is on par with American shows like The Walking Dead.

Along with the manga and anime, Attack on titan has spawned a live-action movie in 2015. In my opinion, the movie was just as gory and the anime, but a little toned down. If your a fan of post-apocalyptic shows like The Walking Dead, this is one that you have to check out.

A little piece of advice, do not watch the movie until you have seen the first season.

(3) Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid

Written by Coolkyoushinja

Genre/Subgenre: fantasy

Manga original run: May 25, 2013 to present

Anime original run: January 11, 2017, to April 6, 2017

13 episodes plus OVA

If there was ever an anime that should be the official anime of this blog, this is it. Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid has been one of my favorite animes that I've seen in recent years. This is not the usual action-pack thriller, that you'll usually see from animes that make there way west. It the cute and funny story of Miss Kobayashi and how she ended up with a dragon maid and the adventures that follow. I would recommend this to anyone, anime watcher or not.

(2) Fullmetal Alchemist/ Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood.

Written by Hiroma Arakawa

Genre/Subgenre: Adventure, dark fantasy, science fiction, shonen

manga original run: July 12, 2001, to June 12, 2019

Anime original run:

( Fullmetal Alchemist) October 4, 2003, to October 2, 2004

51 episodes plus the movie Conqueror of Shamballa (2005)

( Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood) April 5, 2009, to July 4, 2010

64 episodes

Here we are at the number 2 spot. This was a toss-up for number one, but I decided against it. I would suggest watching Brotherhood because it follows the manga beginning to end. Fullmetal Alchemist ends at episode 51 and it is up the movie, Conqueror of Shamballa to bring an end to the story. I saw Conqueror of Shamballa and overall the movie was great. Well deserving of the praise it got from film festivals around the world. Do yourself a favor and check out this anime.

(1) Dragon Ball /Z/GT/Super/Heroes

Written by Akira Toriyama

Genre/Subgenre: Action, Adventure, martial arts, shonen

Manga Original run:

Dragonball= December 3, 1984, to June 5, 1995

Dragonball Super= June 20,2025 to present

Anime original run:

Dragonball(1986 to 1989)

Dragonball Z( 1989 to 1996)

Dragonball GT( 1996 to 1997)

Dragonball Super( 2015 to 2018)

Super Dragonball Heroes(2018 to present)

And here we are at the number one spot. Come on, everyone should have seen this coming. Anime lovers and non-anime lovers have heard of the Dragonball series. While I was fighting for Fullmetal Alchemist to be in the number one spot; it wasn't going to happen. The Dragonball series is perfect for new anime viewers fro many reasons. One of the main reasons is if you get confused, there is plenty out there to help you understand what’s going on. The Dragonball series has been around in manga form since 1984 and anime form since 1986. There is plenty out there to help newbies and confused them, at the same time. Just don't watch the shitty American made live-action movie.

Honorable mentions: Konosuba, Ghost in A Shell, Food Wars and Naruto

Like always my friends, don't forget to like/share/reblog and follow. To get more of an idea of what's coming, you can follow me over on twitter at @socialyawkdude.

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lostlonelylotus · 4 years

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Another Hiatus?

straight up thinking of taking another hiatus from Tumblr...I hate to, but I’m thinking maybe this place just isn’t good for me, even after such a long time away in the first place. More under the cut, if anyone wants to read it.

So, I struggle with a lot on a daily basis. Things that I don’t even tell what few people are around me in real life, because frankly, I don’t really have anyone to tell that I think would want to help. I’ve had to end a great deal of my friendships because they were unhealthy/toxic and others ended because I’m disabled and cannot keep up with more “social” or outgoing people (which unfortunately is usually interpreted as disinterest because of constant rescheduling or inability to go out).

No one even knows that I’ve started a particularly hard round of chemotherapy that involves painful injections, because I worry that people just get sick of hearing how I’m actually doing versus the image of me they think should be real. I lie and say that I’m fine, when I’m struggling mentally and physically. Very few people know that I’m in such severe constant pain that even with strong opiates, medical cannabis, benzodiazepines and constantly watching my diet, I’m spending 12+ hours a day in bed. I never get below a 6/10 anymore. I can’t remember what anything below that feels like. My body tortures me every waking minute.

I’m back to where I started when I began treatment in 2012 and my mental health has taken a nose dive because it all just feels so futile, you know? Treatment after treatment, surgery after surgery, fighting tooth and nail to have the bare bones of a life only to fail and wind up at square one is...Hell.

Add onto that, that I can’t get a FT job (so no PTO or good health insurance) despite having multiple degrees and that I had a position lined up before COVID that might now no longer even exist when this is all over + that the Part Time job I have that I love has completely changed now that I’m work from home and I HATE these new tasks and miss my coworkers + that I live with an actively abusive family member + that I have no friends beyond surface-level acquaintances despite so much effort to try and make and keep friends + that I’ve struggled my whole life with internalization of everything...and you’ve got a walking disaster of a human being who should probably nowhere near this site.

My therapist is through the school I graduated from, so I can’t even see them, and it wouldn’t matter because our relationship has progressed too far and they just treat my visits like a social hour and we never even talk about my real problems. It’s pretty damn pathetic when your needs don’t even matter to your therapist.

In real life, I’m a doormat to people’s needs. You need a house sitter? That’s me and they’ll pay me pennies to do it. You need someone to teach your children during COVID because we’re co-distancing? You need someone to drop everything and help you? That’s me. But when I need something, anything? A cup of tea or a genuinely asked “How are you?”? Forget it.

I miss fandom. I miss the escape. I miss the discourse. I miss the photosets and the freaking out over characters. I miss fandom buddies.

My experience of fandom since I last left Tumblr maybe 2-3 years ago has been very solitary. AO3 fics that I *do* comment on or discord servers where I’m one of dozens or more of people that no one can really remember because it’s hard to try to “compete” to be heard with 5 other people who are friends that are talking in depth about parts of fandom that you are new to...that and Google bloody Images have been my fandom for the past 2 years.

It’s fucking lonely out here. I feel like a fandom cowboy, alone on a prairie, occasionally passing by other cowboys and wrangling the livestock together for a moment before heading on with a half-hearted tip of our hats. It’s more than likely the reason why I haven’t published a fic in nearly 2 years, even though I’ve completed 1 or 2 little ones. I used to write all the time, all the time. Fics, ficlets, drabbles, headcanons. Screaming into the void is so much harder than just sitting there with your eyes closed and pretending there is no void.

I got into Classic Doctor Who and back into a few “older”/smaller fandoms, and when there’s no fic to be had...your only option really is Tumblr. I was writing again (am writing again?), and the photo/gif sets and the meta had me fucking inspired for the first time in...so long. I was addicted to writing again. Wrote more in the last two weeks than I have in years. Started writing a fic that’s already longer than any I’ve ever written before.

I thought I could handle it, Tumblr helped so much before in the Golden Days of Tumblr. I became part of a huge fandom friend group on Skype back then. I had friends. I had true fandom, not this bizarre one-person-imaginings experience of fandom.

I was able to see something triggering or an opinion I disagreed with or deal with bad anons or any of the bad parts of Tumblr. I was able to see just the good, overall.

But, now, I don’t know that I can? I’m too internalizing now? Someone replies to a post with a minor disagreement and it makes me hate myself. I get a slightly disgruntled anon and I cry. People don’t tag very triggering or super stressful political items anymore, so I can’t “unplug” when I need to avoid seeing things about riots and horrendous crimes against people and so I wind up with an additional panic attack because I can’t do anything about anything.

I don’t know if the vibe of this place has changed or if I’ve become one of the dreaded and dreadful “snowflakes” who just can’t handle shit. I think both, honestly.

And it fucking sucks, okay? Because I was starting to get back into the swing of liking this place. I was starting to branch out and reconnect with folks I knew from before that were/are wonderful or make new fandom acquaintances. I had the carrot of having a collection of true fandoms in front of me. Of feeling connected in this time of horrendous isolation (both for the world and me personally).

But the stick is so much bigger than I remember. So much larger and harder; a tree trunk log instead of a twig switch. I’m not taking little love taps or slightly stinging slaps, I’m being beaten with it. By it.

I don’t know what to do. I want to keep Tumbling. I want to keep building friendships and talking about dumb fandom things. I want to reblog old gifsets and have convos in the tags. I want to share fics/art back and forth. I live for the discussions that I’m starting to have again. I live for seeing 3 bloody notes on an original post I made. I live for knowing that someone, somewhere is seeing something I wrote or made or said and likes it.

I don’t want the internalization of disagreements, of a perceived inferiority to other users, of feeling bad about myself over things that aren’t even a big deal on Tumblr but are to me. I don’t want to feel even more ‘less than’ than I already do.

I don’t want to feel extreme anxiety over the insanity of the world that I can’t escape even on here because tagging is a thing of the past and it’s apparently a major faux pas to ask for tags on triggering content, even if I fully support the matters tagged. I live the insanity okay? I’m a queer, disabled, person of color, in the small-town Midwest living in poverty. I’m not some racist who just doesn’t want to see your protest content. I’m struggling to get by.

Maybe I’ll just stop producing content? Only reblog and like? Only comb through character tags or chat with some of the fantastic people that have offered? My inspiration is declining, along with my mood.

I’d honestly contemplate a permanent hiatus (just not a deletion) if all of the fandoms that I was in had discords, but they don’t. If they do, I don’t know about them. Though, honestly, discord is not the same, and I always feel even more insignificant there. Drowned out or unimportant.

Huh. Drowned out or unimportant, that could really be the title of this pity post. Possibly the title of an autobiography, if I was ever self-indulgent enough to write one.

If you’ve read this whole thing, then wow. Thank you, because you’ve just given more of a shit about me and my feelings than anyone in a long, long time.

This post probably won’t be up long, it was honestly meant to be a pity-party cathartic release of feelings and will, no doubt, make me feel more pathetic the longer I leave it up.

#fandom #personal #I'm contemplating leaving Tumblr again #I just don't know

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authorscottmckay · 5 years

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The Novel Writing Process (Indie Publishing Route)

1.) Research the Market

Before you begin, figure out what genre you would like to write in. Horror? Fantasy? Mystery? Romance? Comedy? There are tons of genres, sub-genres, and mixed genres to choose from.

When you have a genre chosen, start reading. Reading is crucial to becoming a good writer. Read what’s hot in your genre right now, study the tropes people like and dislike, and what traits make characters interesting.

By no means am I saying be a copycat. Don’t just write a book about evil spirits rising from an old Native American burial ground because of Pet Semetary’s success and expect fans of horror to enjoy your series. Be original, but take away from your research the “feel” of the books you read. It’s not specifically about what happened in the book, but ask yourself why those events left you craving more and turning the page.

2.) Pre-writing

Depending on who you ask, pre-writing has a specific set of steps and clear paradigms for what is and is not part of this stage. And, as with many steps in the writing process, it is all up to interpretation. To me, pre-writing begins before you jot down a single word. It begins with a spark of inspiration, and is comprised of all the brainstorming, character creation, plot notes, and every other idea you have for your book before you really get down to starting on chapter 1 (or wherever you do begin writing your book; personally, I prefer the ending or somewhere in the middle).

3.) Outlining

There are two main schools of thought when it comes to writing: those who fly by the seat of their pants — aptly nicknamed “Pantsers” — and those who sit down and plot out the entire book in shorthand before they begin — the “Plotters”. I myself am an avid fan of plotting, because I find it greatly decreases the instances of writer’s block, but feel free to skip this step if you’d rather just wing it.

When plotting, simply take the ideas you came up with in the pre-writing stage and organize them from A-Z in your story. This could be a series of bullet points, a death-by-PowerPoint storyboard, or you can shorthand your entire story, then flesh out the details when you go back over it. There are also specific flows to the plot to consider. Find an organizational method that works for you, and ask yourself these questions: Who is the protagonist? Who, or what, is the antagonist? Why does the protagonist want to stop them? What allies do they meet, and what challenges do they face along the way?

For an awesome reference guide, research a concept known as “The Hero’s Journey”.

4.) The First Draft

Now the fun part. Write. Just write. Don’t stop to edit, even if you have a mess of misspellings, punctuation errors, and sentences that come across like a drunk toddler hijacked your keyboard/pen. Just get the words onto the page. Pour your bleeding heart and soul out, have a blast doing it, and understand one simple thing:

The first draft sucks.

The first draft is a heaping pile of manure that should never see the light of day. The first draft would crack mirrors if they had eyes to see it. If you dare to try to publish a first draft, as I have seen impatient indie authors online do, you will invoke my wrath, and I will find you, and I will beat you with a frozen swordfish.

Once you have finished pumping a wordgasm into your Google Docs, Word, Scrivener, or whatever writing program file, sit back, relax, finish your coffee/tea/booze, and cry.

Because now comes the part every writer just loves… So. @&$%ing. Much.

5.) The Self-Edit

“Psh, wait, what? I don’t need to edit my novel. The publishing house will do that for me, or I’ll just hire someone to do it.”

You hear that?

That’s the sound of my swordfish, fresh out of the big ass freezer I purchased just to contain it. And it’s ready for a beat down.

If you were to send a first draft to a publisher, you would be laughed at and rejected immediately. If you’re going the indie route, and an editor you hire needs to spend an enormous amount of time rifling through endless errors, you’ll be digging yourself a massive hole of debt trying to pay them for all that extra work.

Trust me: edit the book to the best of your abilities, and your wallet or publisher will thank you for it later. I would also recommend getting the help of friends and family, if available. These people, reading over your book in the first draft stage (and you better buy them a coffee or something), are what are known as “alpha readers”. We’ll go into depth on the types of readers who help in the editing phase in another post.

There are multiple types of edits to do:

Developmental edit

Read over your story and take note of what makes sense or not, what weak areas could be strengthened, and weed out any continuity errors you find. Just focus on the plot and big scenes. Best to get help with this one in the form of beta readers (see next step).

Copy edit

Go word-by-word checking for typos and spelling errors along with correcting grammar, language, and syntax errors. Also, at this point, deal with any punctuation issues you see.

Line edit

Focus on the finer aspects of language. Read over each sentence to asses their flow and whether or not they get the idea across. Try to tighten them up and avoid run-on sentences.

Sensitivity edit

A sensitivity edit it highly recommended when writing about other cultures, minorities, LGBTQ+ characters, and social issues you may not be familiar with. You don’t want readers getting pissed and blasting you for being homophobic, misogynistic, racist, and/or ignorant. This may be difficult to do on your own, so I recommend a fresh set of eyes from a friend or family member to help you, particularly if they happen to be a part of the group you are writing about.

Proofread

This is the final edit. Read through your manuscript one last time to check for any spelling mistakes, grammatical issues, continuity errors, or other glaring problems.

6.) Get Beta Readers

A beta reader is someone who reads your manuscript and gives feedback before it is ready to be published. What defines a beta reader vs. an alpha reader is actually kind of blurry. Personally, I believe beta readers should come after you have done some thorough self-edits. When you get feedback from your betas, apply it to your book, and continue with another round of self-edits.

Whatever you do, get the beta reader feedback BEFORE the professional edit. Obviously, you don’t want to add the feedback into your book after the edits, then have to pay someone to re-edit those parts of the book.

7.) Get a Critique Partner

Got any writer friends? Good. Ask them if they would help you in the self-edit process by reading through your book and giving feedback as a fellow writer, not as a reader. Think of a critique partner as a beta reader who is reading from the author’s perspective. They can have a world of information and writing tips you hadn’t even considered during the first draft.

8.) The Professional Edit

“B-but I already did my own edits!”

Yes! Good job! Here’s a cookie. Chew on it while you send your book off to people who are vastly more experienced than you.

There’s no skipping this step, even if you’re on a tight budget. Your book needs a professional edit in the form of all the edits you just did. Without it, readers will be able to tell it’s an unfinished book, and you’ll come across as an amateur.

I’m not going to lie, if you’re going the indie publishing route, it’s expensive. Get good at saving money from your day job. Some editors charge per hour, some per page, and some per word. A common fee is $0.01 - 0.03 per word. Doesn’t sound intimidating at first glance, but if you’ve just finished 50k words for NaNoWriMo, or you’ve got the next great 120k word urban fantasy that’ll blow the Mortal Instruments out of the water…well, you do the math.

Just, please, for the love of all that is holy, don’t hire some shady “super experienced” all-purpose editor off of Fiverr because you want to save a buck, then wind up getting half-assed work back and need to find a real editor to fix it. Cough… Not that I’d know anyone who did that. <_<

9.) The Book Cover

“Don’t judge a book by it’s cover” is a phrase only to be applied as a metaphor to say “don’t judge people based on their appearance.”

In the book world, we DEFINITELY judge books by their covers.

If you do absolutely no other form of advertising, make sure you have a damn good book cover. The cover is going to count for about 80% of your advertising. You might have a book that’s going to change peoples’ lives and make you a household name along with a buttload of money. But if the cover sucks, no one is going to buy it except for a few family members and friends.

Make sure you research what book cover styles are popular in your genre so it stands out to readers as something they might enjoy. For example: most urban fantasy YA novels feature a model of the main character in the middle, and they might be holding some sort of weapon; the background is neat, perhaps a city scape or a mystical forest; the font of the title and name are custom-made and might have a swirling, curved, or twisted shape to them.

10.) Formatting

This is often a package deal with book cover designers. Get your book formatted for readability on whatever platform you’ll be publishing it to.

11.) Get an ISBN

Submit your book for an ISBN. Easy peasy. Now, if you’re just going to publish on Amazon, they do have their own free ISBN, but if you want to publish to other sources like Kobo and iBooks, you’ll need to get your own.

12.) Publication

This is it. The moment you’ve been waiting for. Once you’ve got your book all together in an awesome package, find which platform you want to publish your book to — Amazon, iBooks, Kobo, Blurb, Lulu, Smashwords, etc... — and follow their guidelines for setting up an account, giving them your tax info, and uploading your files.

Congratulations! You’ve just published a book. Is it your first one? Then revel in the fact that you are now officially an author. Go out and celebrate with a steak night and a beer (or whatever is appealing according to your diet), then get back to work.

13.) Extras

Not mentioned in this process are things like building your author platform, marketing, advertising, getting deals with bookstores and libraries, and setting up book tours. These don’t have a set place in the writing process. When it comes to marketing and building your author platform, those are things you need to do even before you begin writing your book, all throughout the process, and long after it’s all finished. Things like planning when to officially launch your book, and whether or not pre-orders will be available, are important considerations as well.

Every writer has their own process. This has been my personal experience with the indie writing and publishing process. Comment down below if there is anything you would add to help aspiring, brand new, and veteran authors achieve their writing goals. Thanks for reading!

#writer #writing #advice #bibliophile #process #tips #writeblr #publishing #selfpublishing #indie #indiepublishing #amazon #kindle #kobo #ibooks #ebooks #smashwords #lulu #books #reading

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kalico-to-the-letter · 5 years

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REVIEW // RWBY | 6.12 | “SEEING RED”

AKA love.

Welcome in to my review of Volume 6, Chapter 12, entitled, “Seeing Red”.

In this episode: One fight becomes pointless. Another fight ends.

Deep breath, everybody.

ONCE MORE, WITH FEELING.

As someone who was watched a lot of episodic stories, be it web series like RWBY, or an anime, or western television, I can say that one of my favourite experiences is seeing a long-term storyline come together and hit its climax.

I don’t write this to suggest that the culmination of Blake and Yang’s story is the best thing I’ve ever seen – who knows what that even is, after all these years? But it’s still really damn good, and the definite standout of a great episode.

You know, the story of Blake and Yang is one defined by demons, both internal and external – even going back to Volume 2, when an insomnia-riddled Blake spent ages jumping at shadows and snapping at her teammates until Yang was finally able to snap her out of it.

Of course, it undoubtedly took off at the end of Volume 3. One girl losing an arm and the other fleeing in the dead of night will do that for a storyline like theirs. Between then and now, Blake has spent two seasons embroiled in the Menagerie uprising and at times clearly has avoided reflecting on what happened with Yang. On the other hand, Yang was left alone to confront trauma and disability, and eventually had to deal with reuniting with Weiss, Ruby, and her estranged mother, with the thought of Blake very much on her agenda throughout. It’s an uneven divvying up of them time, to say the least. And while this season has teased great explorations of their relationship, those execution has been disappointingly limited to some flashes and the odd good scene here and there.

Not to mention that the primary spectre of the storyline, Adam, fulfilled the minimum requirements for a character of his kind without providing a whole lot of depth. At this point in the story – the penultimate episode of Volume 6, he solely existed to be vanquished and provide closure to this loop.

But even with those foibles, this is ultimately a story of the love between two people conquering the demons that threatened to rip them apart, and it manages all those requisite beats with aplomb.

The fight itself is shorter than expected, but constructed with enough efficiency that it doesn’t shortchange the viewer. Psychologically, it’s satisfying and consistent, calling back to some of Yang and Blake’s old moments of teamwork. I love the use of Blake’s broken sword as the thing that finally does Adam in. The fight dredges up the problems between Yang and Blake, correctly pointing out Blake’s abandonment and Yang’s past failure against Adam and everything that came as a result. And the story uses that thread to craft its conclusion; individually and as partners, Blake and Yang prove wrong Adam’s ideas of them, and beat him by affirming their bond. Lovely, that.

And this is just one half of a great episode.

It’s not that the conclusion to Gang vs Mecha Cordovin can match the other story for significance or action. This particular fight – and its fallout – is far more about establishing images to set up the finale rather than providing catharsis, but these images set up enough to have me very interested indeed in whatever is to come.

There’s Ruby diving into the barrel of the mecha suit’s cannon, all maturity and growth, disabling the weapon. And before that, standing up to the Atlesian zealot and speaking the real about the pointlessness of their fight, and shrugging off Qrow’s concern. It’s not as if she knows she’s absolutely going to win, either, but she knows there’s always another way to get where she and her friends need to go. There is Cordovin herself, someone who has let her grand proclamations and her desire for control obscure the true purpose of her presence in Argus. And while I feel that the sudden appearance of the Leviathan is a cheap way to create some higher stakes for a finale otherwise lacking in obvious crisis points (due to the mismanagement of the antagonists aside from Cordovin and Adam), the dynamic it creates with Cordovin’s delusion is one I really enjoy. And it looks pretty badass, stomping through the ocean like that. Reminds me a lot of Nier: Automata.

But now, we as the viewers know that Cordovin cannot be relied upon to deal with the new Grimm threat, right? Good thing a certain red-caped someone has been sufficiently built up to the point that she can just step into being the new Guardian of Argus in Cordovin’s place.

So, despite my issues with how the back end of this season has chosen to ignore much of the early setups, the season as a whole has been thorough and consistent with Ruby’s storyline, and it’s set to deliver right to the very end. And now the finale has a clear direction, something it’s been lacking up to this point. Take that, and add everything that Yang and Blake have just done? I would say there’s still plenty to feel good about with this season, and this penultimate episode did quite a bit to restore my positivity for what’s to come.

OBSERVATIONS

Ima discuss the particulars of that relationship here, because I don’t want to bog the review down. Some people may think it absolutely matters for the show to be more explicit in defining what now exists between Yang and Blake. And while I understand that argument on representation grounds, I do also subscribe to the idea that some bonds transcend explicit labels. Now, I will say that what these two now have is love, or something close enough that the difference is irrelevant, but personally, I feel that arguing over “romantic” or “platonic” in this case will just be pointless semantics, and ignore the clear and obvious beauty in how these two are depicted together.

I’ll discuss Ruby in greater depth with the finale. While there is plenty I could say about how this episode all but solidifies Ruby’s growth across this season, I have a feeling that another important chapter will be added to her story next week.

Goddamn, Adam got the sticks put in him. Huh?

That moment again: Yang catches another charged slash, and tosses Adam’s sword into the water. He goes after it, only to be hit with an out-of-nowhere uppercut from Blake. They both lunge for a piece of Blake’s broken sword; Blake gets there first, and Yang picks up the other piece. From there, it’s academic. This fight in its entirety has been very well-staged across the three episodes.

“What does she even see in you?” – Adam. I’ll just leave that line there.

For many years, I’ve been a Blake/Weiss shipper. If you’ve read my fan fiction, you know this. Since I stopped writing fan fiction, however, I haven’t really “shipped” any particular pairings. These days, I more or less just pay attention to what the show does with its relationships and do my best to explore them as they come. All of this is to preface my statement that I love how the show has built this relationship between Blake and Yang. In the early days of the series, I wasn’t a big fan of them together, just because Yang’s character was too thin for me to buy into the ship beyond a surface level. Of course, Yang has since gone on to become a fantastic character … it’s funny how these things evolve.

Cordovin paints an interesting picture of the “Atlas Superiority Complex”, doesn’t she?

I imagine that Yang and Blake won’t be asked to do too much fighting in the finale.

GRADE: A-

While reservations about squandered story potential remain and will likely persist beyond Volume 6’s conclusion, “Seeing Red” cleans up the trajectory of the season’s endgame and creates some interesting character-based action and drama for next week’s finale. It all but solidifies Ruby’s ascendancy as a heroine, and even though the reappearance of Grimm at this point smacks of lazy writing, it creates interesting stakes nonetheless. But of course, this episode’s strength is buoyed by the culmination of Yang and Blake’s long-running storyline. Emotionally satisfying as well as efficiently crafted, their final showdown with Adam is a beautiful affirmation of their bond and everything that has gone into it up to this point. – KALLIE

#rwby spoilers #rwby reviews #rwby6 #rwby volume 6 #rwby

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strangcrdoctor · 6 years

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∞Guardians commentary time, because I was honestly too wiped out to get to it last night but I’m still very up for it now.

1. So here’s my question about the opening sequence on Morag. If Ronan had hired the people that faced off with Quill in the opening sequence on Morag, was it just the case that Ronan’s men arrived 2.5 minutes too late, like Peter arrived just early enough to beat out Yondu? Because initially my impression was that they were indigenous and guarding it, but I know now that not to be the case because Korath is very much a devotee of Ronan, etc. But even if it is the case that Peter beat Ronan’s people, holy timing Batman. Seriously kudos to Quill for being even if incidentally two steps ahead of even Ronan’s game. 2. Okay one, Nova Prime Irani Rael is a hot piece and two she definitely deserves to be the girlfriend of General Leia Organa you can disagree with me but that makes you a suspect human being. Anyway, Rael making the diplomatic call to the Kree to denounce Ronan was not out of bounds for normal statecraft. Especially with a new and tenuous alliance, she’s not only right in calling bullshit that the Kree empire has said nothing to denounce Ronan, but she’s also right in advising they make a statement to stabilize their early peace because early peace is amazingly fragile. But like way to not maintain an alliance at all Kree Empire. You suck. 3. The actual diversity of felons on the Kyln is pretty neat, I’m not going to lie. Not just interspecies representation but also body type representation. There’s big very obviously non-straight criminals. There’s cool as shit looking alien species. There’s chubby feminine looking criminals! Tell me who they are Marvel! Tell me. 4. Now that Thanos’ real character has been revealed in the course of IW it is no damn wonder why Thanos thought of Ronan as a petulant child. Granted, Thanos’ logic is worse in that it is slightly better, but by comparison Thanos is an overly dire pragmatist were Ronan is very much just a racist bigot with a power complex. Thanos predictably find’s Ronan’s racial shortsightedness pithy, and I really have zero doubt that if Ronan had actually gone to piss on Thanos’ front lawn he would not have lasted long. 5. On the other hand, really Thanos. #1 piece of advice in the universe is don’t torture and dismantle women and then trust them to be complicit. You will die. 6. If anyone doesn’t feel pelvic sorcery during a close listening to Fooled Around & Fell In Love they are definitely soulless. 7. I also really really want to know what the hell they were drinking on Knowhere that got Rocket and Drax drunk (I mean who knows they might both be lightweights but I doubt it.), because Stephen wants some. 8. I’ll come right out and say it it’s a fucking shame that Tivan’s collection gets blown to hell. Not because Tivan isn’t twisted as hell keeping live specimens and slaves to himself, but more on the “holy crap what cool stuff just got destroyed that the universe will never see again” kind of way. It’s like the burning of the Library of Alexandria, only somehow worse. 9. The nods given to Thor: The Dark World and The Avengers are of course interesting given there’s a Dark Elf and a Chitauri, but I’m super curious about what made those particular specimens of each special enough for Tivan to keep them. Tivan deals with the depths and breadths of the universe coming in and out of Knowhere, and he doesn’t just snag one item from every species or race he comes across. So was there something interesting in particular about that Dark Elf and that Chitauri? Was the Chitauri one of the only remaining survivors after the nuclear explosion? Was the Dark Elf one of Malekith’s higher ups? I’m just curious about them, and curious about Tivan’s reasoning for keeping them. 10. Okay but adding to this whole Tivan’s collection tangent, Cosmo the Space dog cracks me up and not just because it’s funny for Tivan to have a doggie cosmonaut in his collection. Cosmo is a legit character in the Guardians comics, and he’s head of security on Knowhere and telepathic. So even if Tivan is keeping him in his collection or is just trying to keep him out of the way for something, just imagine what it’s like having an angry Russian dog thinking at you all the time because you’re getting in the way of him doing his job. 11. Slightly different bend on the Tivan train, but Carina legitimately just heard Tivan talk about how the stone was capable of destroying even a whole group of people who tried to wield it, and she was still willing to take the risk of being incinerated rather than living with her current conditions. Carina wasn’t resolutely making the hero play - she was making a suicide play knowing full well it would end that way if the hero play didn’t work. 12. When Yondu states that Peter doesn’t give a rip about Terra like. Dude. How many fucking references in this movie has he made to Terran culture? Music and movies and art and holy shit would you look at that, he sure as hell talks like a more culturally integrated human than anything else you twat waffle. Great way to piss him off though and get him to play it your way, which granted is what I think Yondu was probably doing the whole time but still. You don’t look at this boy who idolizes Footloose and knows who Jackson Pollock is and tell him he doesn’t care about Earth. Caring about Footloose and Jackson Pollock at all is a labor of love. 13. Speaking of Yondu, how the fuck is that the jewel frog bauble considered by anyone to be worth of the “high end” community? On top of it just hurting me, it does really raise the question of how is trite crap like that so valuable? Does it have some vector of worth and rarity because its origins are weird, obscure, or finite? Are the gems magical artifacts of some kind? Are the wealthy in space that mother-fucking self-ironic? Because if they are I want to know them. 14. Peter Quill, everyone, who makes a dick message to garner trust 15. Not for the first for for the last time will I say this, but Ravager tech is impressive. And I am amazingly intrigued at how Ravagers got such good technology and resources on their hands. True, they steal things and make money off of trades and pilfering. But that isn’t the only way to acquire goods and it’s not the only thing a viable pirating economic model can survive off of. Half the reason the Ravagers succeed is because they run like a business, have clientele, and are clientele for certain sects, right? So what kind of powerful connections do they have that allow them their advanced fleets? That’s the kind of shit I want to know about. 16. Also what the hell are Ronan’s pilots with the weird glowy psychic spheres on the Dark Aster? Is the Dark Aster itself Kree technology, or something Ronan got from Thanos who appropriated it from some other world he’s conquered? Because we know so little about the Kree in the MCU it’s hard to say, but I suppose we’ll have to wait and see if the Kree ever do become a part of canon so we can have more data with which to make a comparison. 17. Guardians does a pretty good job of taking at least some time to portray how terrible aerial dogfighting is on a mass scale because honestly it’s a bloody nightmare. It’s pictured so often and so carelessly in film that it’s not something we often think about, and the only movie I’ve ever seen that addresses how it feels in human terms is Dunkirk, but the intensity and messiness of it in Guardians is still pretty realistic and I give it props for that. 18. It occurs to me that maybe the younger, post-GOTG Groot is so bitter and antisocial for a while because of how giving the elder Groot was, and the seedling felt the sacrifice and his existence was under-appreciated? It was just a thought that crossed my mind. 19. Also Ronan you twat. “Engage Immolation Initiative” is just Big Mean & Fancy for “light ‘em up fuckers,” don’t pretend you’re any cooler than anyone else. 20. I really really appreciate the design that went into the Xandarian cityscape as a fully intergalactic multicultural society that shows it even in the way the city and buildings are assembled. The city isn’t uniform like a lot of science-fiction cities are - it’s got texture. Different sectors have different styles of buildings and different architecture. Like a real metropolitan area, it’s a patchwork of influences and it’s very well done. 21. Kudos to Rocket for identifying that ground-to-air is a super viable defense strategy. One thing that people tend to forget about ground-to-air is that aside from clouds, there’s no obstacles behind which to hide in the sky, so while ground defense might seem clumsy at times, air offense is hugely precarious because there is absolutely no defense mechanism against any attack except maneuvering, and when a defense is fully able to target that weakness it’s pretty damn effective. 22. It’s interesting to me how well superhero movies integrate climaxes within battle sequences? Some people might call it lazy but I call it interesting when when defense lines break, plans fail, and when teams encounter interference to push the plot forward. Plot movement in Marvel movies curry a lot of momentum from these events, but actually they’re pretty interesting replications of how modern society has been built on the results of such events within our own history. History has been moved by these exact same sorts of events, which is why they make sense to us in storytelling. 23. Peter protecting Groot from Rocket’s crash into the into the Dark Aster? Golden. And then Peter immediately going to Rocket from the wreckage? Stellar. Peter Quill you are a gem. 24. I will never forgive Marvel for hurting me as bad with “We are Groot” as Warner Brothers did with “Suuuuuperman” in Iron Giant. Stop giving Vin Diesel more opportunities to rip my heart out of my chest, please. 25. My mom and my uncle, her brother, both adored the entire GOTG soundtrack so much and it brought them so much joy watching it together that it got me into Motown. Even though it was oblique and dorky, Marvel did something amazing with this movie and gave my parents a piece of their own youth back, while giving me a chance to share in their knowledge and experience. It’s stuck with me ever since, especially because fundamentally that experience is the reason I got into Motown music, which I now adore with all my heart.

Alright, done with that. These are... just getting longer and longer I’m sorry guys no one should have ever allowed me to do this. Oh well. Too late to stop me now. Captain America: The Winter Solider is up next, and oh the pain.∞

#''the doctor is out #''marvel meta field notes #''MMFN

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unclescurvy · 3 years

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2021 NFL MOCK DRAFT - 7 ROUNDS/FINAL

April 29, 2021

ROUND ONE

1. Jacksonville – QB Trevor Lawrence, Clemson

The distance between Trevor Lawrence and the rest of this field is vast. We haven’t seen such an obvious #1 overall pick since Andrew Luck.

2. NY Jets – QB Zach Wilson, BYU

With the trade of Sam Darnold, the Jets are ready to start anew with Zach Wilson, a man possessed with rare gifts that need to be honed before he’ll be an effective pro.

3. San Francisco (FROM MIA THRU HOU) - QB Mac Jones, Alabama

The Niners sent 2 picks this year and future first-rounders to move up here – and it’s clearly because they’re comfortable taking one of the guys they consider to be this year’s 3 top quarterbacks. He might not start immediately, but Jones is the future in San Fran. The question is: do the Niners send Garoppolo back home to New England?

4. Atlanta - TE Kyle Pitts, Florida

I know it’s fashionable to have the first four picks go QB-QB-QB-QB, but I’m bucking the trend here. Atlanta opts to roll with Ryan for one more year as they swing for the fences with Kyle Pitts. I’m not I’ve ever seen a tight end drafted this high, but he’s really more of a matchup-nightmare slot receiver.

5. Cincinnati – OT Penei Sewell, Oregon *

Joe Burrow badly needs protection, and this year’s best left tackle prospect falls to them. Sewell has a little growing up to do before he becomes a legit pro, but he’s got elite tools for the position and his college career was practically without blemish.

6. Miami (FROM PHI) - WR Ja’Marr Chase, Missouri

As Adam Schefter tweeted, “Dolphins now have basically turned their former LT Laremy Tunsil who they traded to Houston into four first-round picks and a third-round pick.” If Miami wins a Super Bowl in the next 3 years, these maneuvers will be legendary. And they might not be done! Plenty of teams will want to get ahead of Detroit for the remaining QBs. But here, the Dolphins get exactly what they needed: the best WR coming out this year.

7. Detroit - QB Justin Fields, Ohio State

The Lions can’t possibly be sold on Jared Goff as their unchallenged starter. He can certainly serve as a very, very expensive bridge QB to Justin Fields… but it probably won’t take a whole year for Detroit to turn to Fields as their QB of the future.

8. Washington (PROJ. TRADE W/CAR) - QB Trey Lance, North Dakota State

With the acquisition of Sam Darnold from the Jets, Carolina won’t use this pick for a QB anymore. Washington head coach Ron Rivera uses his old Panthers connections to secure the #8 pick to snag Trey Lance. Dan Snyder may never learn.

9. Denver - CB Patrick Surtain II, Alabama

The Broncos used to have amazing depth at the cornerback position. No longer. It’s time to build that defense back up. With the additions of Surtain plus Kyle Fuller and Ron Darby, a weakness becomes perhaps the strongest group in the league.

10. Dallas - LB Micah Parsons, Penn State

Dallas just misses out on their dream pick: Pat Surtain. They consider trade offers but instead look to replace Sean Lee (and perhaps eventually Leighton Vander Esch, who has fallen out of favor).

11. Minnesota (PROJ TRADE W/NYG) - OT Rashawn Slater, Northwestern

The Vikings package picks (1st and 3rd) to grab a potential great one at left tackle. They’ve got one more year to try to protect Kirk Cousins and convince themselves he was worth the investment. They’ll need to get ahead of Philadelphia to secure Slater.

12. Philadelphia (FROM SF THRU MIA) – WR Jaylen Waddle, Alabama +

The Eagles keep acquiring wide receivers, and none of them seem to deliver the reliability they need. If Waddle can come back 100% healed from his 2020 injury, he could be the one they’ve been waiting for. Jalen Hurts should be happy to have Waddle in town.

13. LA Chargers - WR DeVonta Smith, Alabama

With Mike Williams heading into his contract year, the team prepares for life without his services. DeVonta Smith is smaller than ideal, but that’s just about the only knock on him. The Chargers will wait until the next round to take their left tackle; it’s a deep position this year.

14. NY Giants (PROJ TRADE W/MIN) - DE Jaelan Phillips, Miami + *

The Giants move back a few spots and still secure help for their pass rush. Phillips had a great 2020. He’s got an injury history and immaturity issues to deal with, but the Giants think his upside is worth the risk.

15. Las Vegas (PROJ. TRADE W/NE) - CB Jaycee Horn, South Carolina

The Patriots have a tradition of trading down in the first round, so this is not a surprise. They want to get back the 3rd round selection the NFL stripped from them, and that’s what they receive from Las Vegas. The Raiders have to move ahead of Arizona to select the speedy corner Jaycee Horn.

16. Arizona - RB Najee Harris, Alabama

The Cardinals were really hoping Jaycee Horn fell to them. They fill a different hole in their roster with the selection of Najee Harris, just what this offense needs to get them to the next level.

17. New England (PROJ. TRADE W/LV) - DE Kwity Paye, Michigan

New England drops back a few spots, picks up a 3rd rounder, and takes the guy they were targeting all along. Kwity Paye is apparently an inspiring leader in the locker room; he’ll be wearing a “C” on his chest in no time. He’s also a hell of a lineman.

18. Miami - OLB/DE Azeez Ojulari, Georgia

The Dolphins went offense with pick #1 in this round; they’ll address the defensive pass rush here. Ojulari can play outside linebacker in any scheme, and Brian Flores will love that versatility.

19. Carolina (PROJ. TRADE W/WAS) - G/OT Alijah Vera-Tucker, USC

The Panthers move down quite a bit and still land the best interior lineman of 2021. Ali will likely upgrade one of the guard spots immediately – or he could serve as an essential swing lineman at 4 positions as a rookie with a bright future. Carolina gets from Washington picks 19, 51, 82 and a 1st in 2022.

20. New Orleans (PROJ TRADE W/CHI) - CB Caleb Farley, Virginia Tech +

New Orleans tried to get even higher – to select Pat Surtain or Jaycee Horn. Instead they settle for Caleb Farley, the last of the blue-chip corner prospects this year. His medical concerns can be overlooked. The Bears get picks 28, 98 and 105.

21. Indianapolis - OT Christian Darrisaw, Virginia Tech +

With the retirement of Anthony Castonzo, the Colts superb offensive line got a lot weaker. They’ll need Darrisaw’s help to protect a risk-taker like Carson Wentz. His recently-reported groin injury may make him a draft-day slide though.

22. Tennessee – OLB/DE Jayson Oweh, Penn State

The Titans signed Bud Dupree to play across from Harold Landry, but bringing in a developmental prospect like Oweh is too tantalizing to pass up. His low college production is a huge question mark, but his measurables make him worth the risk here.

23. NY Jets (THRU SEA) - RB Travis Etienne, Clemson

The Jets can go in all sorts of directions here. They need damn near every position. But Etienne is too tantalizing to pass up. He showed at his pro day that his heavy workload in college didn’t slow him down at all. He’s got elite speed for the position, and the Jets need that burst and receiving ability if they want to get out of the gutter.

24. Pittsburgh - OT/G Jalen Mayfield, Michigan

The gaping holes along the Steelers’ once-vaunted offensive line are going to be hard to patch up quickly. Mayfield has his detractors, but he’s clearly the best remaining left tackle prospect.

25. Jacksonville (THRU LAR) - LB Jeremiah Owusu-Koramoah, Notre Dame

He’s a bit on the small side but Owusu-Koramoah is explosive with above-average instincts. Jacksonville should be taking the best-available from here on out; they need just about every position.

26. Cleveland - LB Zaven Collins, Tulsa

Cleveland is more than ready to take the next step, but they’ve been getting by on sub-standard linebacking talent. Time to address that crew with a monster in the middle.

27. Baltimore - WR Rashod Bateman, Minnesota

The Ravens never seem to hit paydirt with their many, many attempts to draft a star wide receiver. They’ll try again with Bateman. His famously wide catch radius will help Lamar Jackson as he’s on the move.

28. Chicago (PROJ TRADE W/NO) - DT Christian Barmore, Alabama

The Bears pick up two third-rounders in their deal with New Orleans. They land the best interior defensive lineman coming out this year. Barmore might not have eye-popping numbers in college, but he’s another Daron Payne in the making.

29. Green Bay - CB Greg Newsome II, Northwestern

Kevin King was retained, but he had a few really rough outings in 2020. Jaire Alexander is one of the best corners in the league, but the team could use some help while he’s on an island.

30. Philadelphia (PROJ TRADE W/BUF) - CB Tyson Campbell, Georgia

Philadelphia doesn’t want to come away from the first day without a quality corner. They see Newsome come off the board and feel they have to trade back into the bottom of the first round to get their guy. Campbell has amazing catch-up speed – no one is getting by this guy. The Eagles give up picks 37, 84 and WR J.J. Arcega-Whiteside).

31. Baltimore (FROM KC) – DE Greg Rousseau, Miami

The Ravens can take a risk on Rousseau’s upside. It’s been a while since he played a meaningful game – and he looked quite average at his Pro Day – so there are legit questions about Rousseau’s ability. But when he was starting for the Hurricanes, he looked like a top-ten pick.

32. Tampa Bay - LB Jamin Davis, Kentucky

The Bucs have no pressing immediate needs on their team. None! All they need to do is build for the future. Lavonte David is on the back-end of his career, so Jamin Davis could be an interesting addition here. Davis could perhaps challenge for a starting spot immediately, but he’s more likely going to be part of a rotation to keep Lavonte’s legs fresh and prolong his career a bit.

ROUND TWO

33. Jacksonville – CB Asante Samuel, Jr., Florida State

34. NY Jets – WR Kadarius Toney, Florida

35. Atlanta – S Trevon Moehrig, TCU

36. Miami (FROM HOU) – RB Javonte Williams, North Carolina

37. Buffalo (PROJ TRADE W/PHI) – DE Carlos Basham, Jr., Wake Forest

38. Cincinnati – WR Rondale Moore, Purdue

39. Carolina – S Jevon Holland, Oregon

40. Denver – G/C Landon Dickerson, Alabama +

41. Detroit – WR Elijah Moore, Ole Miss

42. NY Giants – LB Jabril Cox, LSU

43. San Francisco – G Wyatt Davis, Ohio State

44. Dallas – OT/G Teven Jenkins, Oklahoma State

45. Jacksonville (FROM MIN) – DE Joe Tryon, Washington

46. New England – WR Terrace Marshall, Jr., LSU +

47. LA Chargers – OT Jackson Carman, Clemson

48. Las Vegas – C/G Creed Humphrey, Oklahoma

49. Arizona – CB Kelvin Joseph, Kentucky

50. Miami – DT Levi Onwuzurike, Washington

51. Carolina (PROJ. TRADE W/WAS) – DE/LB Joseph Ossai, Texas

52. Chicago – QB Kellen Mond, Texas A&M

53. Tennessee – DT Daviyon Nixon, Iowa

54. Indianapolis – DE/OLB Ronnie Perkins, Oklahoma *

55. Pittsburgh – G/C Quinn Meinerz, Wisconsin-Whitewater

56. Seattle – OT/G Alex Leatherwood, Alabama

57. LA Rams – LB Nick Bolton, Missouri

58. Kansas City (FROM BAL) – CB Paulson Adebo, Stanford

59. Cleveland – LB Dylan Moses, Alabama +

60. New Orleans – S Richie Grant, UCF

61. Buffalo – TE Pat Freiermuth, Penn State +

62. Green Bay – LB Baron Browning, Ohio State

63. Kansas City – LB Derrick Barnes, Purdue

64. Tampa Bay - QB Davis Mills, Stanford

ROUND THREE

65. Jacksonville – LB Pete Werner, Ohio State

66. NY Jets – LB Chris Rumph II, Duke

67. Houston – WR Tutu Atwell, Louisville

68. Atlanta – DT Jay Tufele, Utah

69. Cincinnati – RB Michael Carter, North Carolina

70. Philadelphia – OT Dillon Radunz, North Dakota State

71. Denver – DT Jaylen Twyman, Pittsburgh

72. Detroit – CB Shaun Wade, Ohio State

73. Carolina – DE Payton Turner, Houston

74. Washington (FROM SF) – OT Samuel Cosmi, Texas

75. Dallas – DT Alim McNeill, NC State

76. NY Giants – CB Marco Wilson, Florida

New England forfeited

77. LA Chargers – G Trey Smith, Tennessee

78. NY Giants (PROJ. TRADE W/MIN) – WR Dyami Brown, North Carolina

79. New England (PROJ. TRADE W/LV FROM ARZ) – CB/S Elijah Molden, Washington

80. Las Vegas - DT Marvin Wilson, Florida State

81. Miami – CB Aaron Robinson, UCF

82. Washington – CB Eric Stokes, Georgia

83. Chicago – OT Liam Eichenberg, Penn State

84. Buffalo (PROJ TRADE W/PHI FROM IND) – DT Osa Odighizuwa, UCLA

85. Tennessee – WR Nico Collins, Michigan

86. NY Jets (FROM SEA) – DE Rashad Weaver, Pittsburgh

87. Pittsburgh – DE/OLB Dayo Odeyingbo, Vanderbilt +

88. LA Rams – OT Walker Little, Stanford +

89. Cleveland – C Josh Myers, Ohio State

90. Minnesota (FROM BAL) – QB Kyle Trask, Florida

91. Cleveland (FROM NO) – CB Ifeatu Melifonwu, Syracuse

92. Green Bay – WR D’Wayne Eskridge, Western Michigan

93. Buffalo – CB Thomas Graham, Jr., Oregon

94. Baltimore (FROM KC) – DE Patrick Jones II, Pittsburgh

95. Tampa Bay – RB Kenneth Gainwell, Memphis

96. New England – OT James Hudson, Cincinnati

97. LA Chargers – LB Shaka Toney, Penn State

98. Chicago (PROJ TRADE W/NO) – WR Simi Fehoko, Stanford

99. Dallas – S Caden Sterns, Texas

100. Tennessee – TE Brevin Jordan, Miami

101. Detroit (FROM LAR) – G Ben Cleveland, Georgia

102. Miami (FROM SF) – LB Chazz Surratt, North Carolina

103. LA Rams – WR Josh Palmer, Tennessee

104. Baltimore – OT Spencer Brown, Northern Iowa

105. Chicago (PROJ TRADE W/NO) – CB Rodarius Williams, Oklahoma State

ROUND FOUR

106. Jacksonville – RB Trey Sermon, Ohio State

107. NY Jets – CB Tay Gowan, UCF

108. Atlanta – C/G Drew Dalman, Stanford

109. Houston – DT/NT Marlon Tuipulotu, USC

110. Cleveland (FROM PHI) – DE Chauncey Golston, Iowa

111. Cincinnati – DE/OLB Elerson Smith, Northern Iowa

112. Detroit – S Andre Cisco, Syracuse

113. Carolina – TE Hunter Long, Boston College

114. Denver – OT Brady Christensen, BYU

115. Dallas – DT Milton Williams, Louisiana Tech

116. NY Giants – G Kendrick Green, Illinois

117. San Francisco – CB Benjamin St-Juste, Minnesota

118. LA Chargers – LB Charles Snowden, Virginia

119. Minnesota – DT/NT Tyler Shelvin, LSU

120. New England – WR Tamorrion Terry, Florida State

121. Las Vegas (FROM LV VIA MIA) – WR Jaelon Darden, North Texas

122. New England (FROM ARZ VIA HOU) – DE/OLB Hamilcar Rashed, Jr., Oregon State

123. Philadelphia (FROM MIA) – DE/OLB Cameron Sample, Tulane

124. Washington – S Divine Deablo, Virginia Tech

125. Minnesota (FROM CHI) – WR Trevon Grimes, Florida

126. Tennessee – DT Bobby Brown III, Texas A&M

127. Indianapolis – S Hamsah Nasirildeen, Florida State

128. Pittsburgh – CB Shakur Brown, Michigan State

129. Seattle – CB Ambry Thomas, Michigan

130. Jacksonville (FROM LAR) – S/LB JaCoby Stevens, LSU

131. Baltimore – WR Frank Darby, Arizona State

132. Cleveland – DT Tommy Togiai, Ohio State

133. New Orleans – LB Monty Rice, Georgia

134. Minnesota (FROM BUF) – TE Tommy Tremble, Notre Dame

135. Green Bay – DT Ta’Quon Graham, Texas

136. Kansas City – DE/OLB Daelin Hayes, Notre Dame

137. Tampa Bay – S Jamar Johnson, Indiana

138. Dallas – TE John Bates, Boise State

139. New England – DT Jonathan Marshall, Arkansas

140. Pittsburgh – TE Tre’ McKitty, Georgia

141. LA Rams – CB Kary Vincent, Jr., LSU

142. Green Bay – G Aaron Banks, Notre Dame

143. Minnesota – S Trill Williams, Syracuse

144. Baltimore (FROM KC) – CB Robert Rochell, Central Arkansas

ROUND FIVE

145. Jacksonville – WR Amon-Ra St. Brown, USC

146. NY Jets – TE/WR Jacob Harris, UCF

147. Houston – DE/OLB Janarius Robinson, Florida State

148. Atlanta – WR Amari Rodgers, Clemson

149. Cincinnati – TE Kenny Yeboah, Mississippi

150. Philadelphia – LB Ernest Jones, South Carolina

151. Carolina – OT Dan Moore, Jr., Texas A&M

152. Denver – QB Jamie Newman, Wake Forest

153. NY Giants - RB Chuba Hubbard, Oklahoma State

154. Detroit - DT Kenny Randall, Charleston

155. San Francisco – LB Cameron McGrone, Michigan

156. Miami (FROM DAL VIA PHI) – DE/OLB Malcolm Koonce, Buffalo

157. Minnesota – DE/LB Quincy Roche, Miami

158. Houston (FROM NE) – G Sadarius Hutcherson, South Carolina

159. LA Chargers – OT Stone Forsythe, Florida

160. Arizona – RB Rhamondre Stevenson, Oklahoma

161. Buffalo (FROM LV) – DT Marquiss Spencer, Mississippi State

162. Las Vegas (FROM MIA) – S James Wiggins, Cincinnati

163. Washington – TE Kylen Granson, SMU

164. Chicago – CB Keith Taylor, Washington

165. Indianapolis – DE/OLB Jordan Smith, Alabama-Birmingham

166. Tennessee – K Jose Borregales, Miami

167. Las Vegas (FROM SEA) – CB Brandon Stephens, SMU

168. Minnesota (FROM PIT VIA BAL) – WR Seth Williams, Auburn

169. Cleveland (FROM LAR) – RB/WR Demetric Felton, UCLA

170. Jacksonville (FROM CLE) – OT Tommy Doyle, Miami (OH)

171. Baltimore – OT Alaric Jackson, Iowa

172. San Francisco (FROM NO) – WR Shi Smith, South Carolina

173. Green Bay – CB Darren Hall, San Diego State

174. Buffalo – WR Cornell Powell, Clemson

175. Kansas City – RB Elijah Mitchell, Louisiana

176. Tampa Bay – WR Tylan Wallace, Oklahoma State

177. New England – WR Racey McMath, LSU

178. Green Bay – RB Kylin Hill, Mississippi State

179. Dallas – S Ar’Darius Washington, TCU

180. San Francisco – S Damar Hamlin, Pittsburgh

181. Kansas City – S Talanoa Hufanga, USC

182. Atlanta – OT Foster Sarell, Stanford

183. Atlanta – S Jamien Sherwood, Auburn

184. Baltimore – TE Nick Eubanks, Michigan

ROUND SIX

185. LA Chargers (FROM JAX VIA TEN) – CB Camryn Bynum, California

186. NY Jets (FROM NYJ VIA NE) – G/OT Robert Hainsey, Notre Dame

187. Atlanta - RB Khalil Herbert, Virginia Tech

188. New England (FROM HOU) – DE/OLB Adetokunbo Ogundeji, Notre Dame

189. Philadelphia – P Max Duffy, Kentucky

190. Cincinnati – CB D.J. Daniel, Georgia

191. Carolina (FROM DEN) – FB Ben Mason, Michigan

192. Dallas (FROM DET) – LB Buddy Johnson, Texas A&M

193. Carolina – WR Brandon Smith, Iowa

194. San Francisco – RB Chris Evans, Michigan

195. Houston (FROM DAL VIA NE) – TE Noah Gray, Duke

196. NY Giants – DE/OLB Joshua Kaindoh, Florida State

197. New England – QB Sam Ehlinger, Texas

198. LA Chargers – S Tyree Gillespie, Missouri

199. Minnesota – DE/OLB Wyatt Hubert, Kansas State

200. Las Vegas - LB Nick Niemann, Iowa

201. NY Giants (FROM ARZ) – TE Zach Davidson, Central Missouri

202. Cincinnati (FROM MIA VIA HOU) – G Jack Anderson, Texas Tech

203. Houston (FROM WAS VIA LV AND MIA) – C Drake Jackson, Kentucky

204. Chicago – WR Anthony Schwartz, Auburn

205. Tennessee – CB Israel Mukuamu, South Carolina

206. Indianapolis – TE Matt Bushman, BYU

207. Kansas City (FROM PIT VIA MIA) – WR Austin Watkins, Jr., Alabama-Birmingham

208. Miami (FROM SEA) – G Tommy Kraemer, Notre Dame

209. LA Rams – LB Curtis Robinson, Stanford

210. Baltimore – LB Christian Elliss, Idaho

211. Cleveland – WR Ihmir Smith-Marsette, Iowa

212. Houston (VIA NO) – S Shawn Davis, Florida

213. Buffalo – OT D’Ante Smith, East Carolina

214. Green Bay – S Darrick Forrest, Cincinnati

215. Tennessee (FROM KC) – RB Kene Nwangwu, Iowa State

216. Pittsburgh (FROM TB) – TE Tony Poljan, Virginia

217. Tampa Bay – C Jimmy Morrissey, Pittsburgh

218. New Orleans – LB Garret Wallow, TCU

219. Atlanta – CB Tre Brown, Oklahoma

220. Green Bay – OT Adrian Ealy, Oklahoma

221. Chicago – DE Malik Herring, Georgia

222. Carolina – RB Javian Hawkins, Louisville

223. Arizona (FROM MIN) – S Christian Uphoff, Illinois State

224. Philadelphia – RB Jaret Patterson, Buffalo

225. Philadelphia – DT Darius Stills, West Virginia

226. NY Jets (FROM CAR) – CB Rachad Wildgoose, Wisconsin

227. Dallas – QB Felipe Franks, Arkansas

228. Chicago - C Trey Hill, Georgia

ROUND SEVEN

229. New Orleans (FROM JAX) – WR Josh Imatorbhebhe, Illinois

230. San Francisco (FROM NYJ) – CB Brandin Echols, Kentucky

231. Miami (FROM HOU) – WR Jonathan Adams, Jr., Arkansas State

232. Tennessee (FROM ATL VIA MIA) – S Joshuah Bledsoe, Missouri

233. Houston (FROM CIN) – CB Deommodore Lenoir, Oregon

234. Philadelphia – WR Damonte Coxie, Memphis

235. Cincinnati (FROM DET VIA SEA) – S Brady Breeze, Oregon

236. Buffalo (FROM CAR) – RB Pooka Williams, Kansas

237. Denver – WR Javon McKinley, Notre Dame

238. Dallas – K Evan McPherson, Florida

239. Denver (FROM NYG) – S Paris Ford, Pittsburgh

240. Philadelphia (FROM SF) – QB Shane Buechele, SMU

241. LA Chargers - NT/DT Tedarrell Slaton, Florida

Minnesota forfeited selection

242. New England – LB Amen Ogbongbemiga, Oklahoma State

243. Arizona – DT Xavier Kelly, Arkansas

244. Miami (FROM LV VIA WAS) – S Donovan Stiner, Florida

245. Pittsburgh (FROM MIA) – LB Paddy Fisher, Northwestern

246. Washington – WR Sage Surratt, Wake Forest

247. Arizona (FROM CHI VIA LV) – LB K.J. Britt, Auburn

248. Indianapolis – CB Olaijah Griffin, USC

249. Jacksonville (FROM TEN) – S Tariq Thompson, San Diego State

250. Seattle – QB Ian Book, Notre Dame

251. Tampa Bay (FROM PIT) – DE/OLB Jonathon Cooper, Ohio State

252. LA Rams – DT Mustafa Johnson, Colorado

253. Denver (FROM CLE) – DE/OLB Patrick Johnson, Tulane

254. Pittsburgh (FROM BAL) – QB Peyton Ramsey, Northwestern

255. New Orleans – C Michal Menet, Penn State

256. Green Bay – LB Riley Cole, South Alabama

257. Cleveland (FROM BUF) – OT Jaylon Moore, Western Michigan

258. Washington (FROM MIA VIA KC) – LS Cameron Cheeseman, Michigan

259. Tampa Bay – OT Grant Hermanns, Purdue

+ injury history

* character issues

0 notes

eddycurrents · 7 years

Photo

For the week of 13 November 2017

Quick Bits:

Babyteeth #6 opens the floodgates of story after getting through the initial hurdle of getting Sadie and Clark out of imminent danger. Donny Cates gives us more depth as to what’s going on broader picture of the world and introduces us to the cult geared to protecting and raising Clark.

| Published by AfterShock

Black Science #33 has the shit hit the fan as the confrontation between Grant and Kadir reaches its peak and then reality breaks. The mix of mad science and philosophy from Rick Remender on display here is wonderful, seeing a representation of Platonic ideals mapped onto quantum realities in a kind of unfurling of Gnostic cosmology is impressive. So too is Matteo Scalera’s art. He and Moreno Diniso really get to cut loose this issue and it looks wonderful.

| Published by Image / Giant Generator

Bloodshot Salvation #3 gives a revelation to the “soon” timeline of what’s happened to Ray, while in the “now” we get a confrontation between Ray and Daddy, Colin King helping out Magic, and Project Omen causing complications. I probably sound like a broken record, but Jeff Lemire, Lewis LaRosa, and Mico Suayan are doing some great things with this series.

| Published by Valiant

Brilliant Trash #1 is an interesting take on superheroes. It’s a mix of government conspiracy and potentially mad science, told from the perspective of a journalist looking for a story in the appearance of a V-like figure, Lady Lastword’s, final speech and death. Tim Seely’s got something interesting here. Priscilla Petraites’ art is also quite nice, kind of a mix between Jamie McKelvie and Phil Hester.

| Published by AfterShock

Dark Fang #1 continues the trend of not naming the protagonist in the body of the first issue. The solicitation copy and end piece are what’s needed to piece together the full premise of the series and name of the protagonist. That said, Miles Gunter does have a decent story here. It’s environmentalism through the lens of a centenarian vampire, Valla, who was friends with a fish until modern industry destroyed her ecosystem. But first, earning money as a cam girl and getting caught up in society’s obsession with cell phones and the internet. The art from Kelsey Shannon is a definite plus.

| Published by Image

Deadpool vs. Old Man Logan #2 is every bit as fun, humorous, and action-packed as the first issue. Declan Shalvey has a great feel for both Wade and Logan and Mike Henderson’s art is truly wonderful. Only two issues in and this is just a fun, must-have wild ride.

| Published by Marvel

Evolution #1 is a very strong debut issue with multiple voices brought together by the singular visuals of Joe Infurnari. Infurnari has a style that is a bit Tom Mandrake and a bit Bill Sienkiewicz and it is absolutely perfect. If you like David Cronenberg’s early horror films, even just a little bit, you owe it to yourself to at least check this out.

| Published by Image / Skybound

The Family Trade #2 continues Jessa’s investigations into Berghardt and Mikkaelsen despite the protestation and outright prohibition by her Family. Her technique of getting close by blending in as a simple cleaning woman is a nice touch. The end, though, suffers a bit in who exactly Jessa is speaking to. I think it’s supposed to be her uncle, but I’m not sure.

| Published by Image

Fence #1 gives me the impression that everyone, even the protagonist, involved in competitive fencing is an asshole. That’s not necessarily a good impression of the sport, and gives a poor outlook on who to “cheer” for in the endeavour, but it may be an accurate depiction. Especially since many sports seem to be populated by jerks.

| Published by BOOM! Entertainment / Boom! Box

Generation Gone #5 is a suitably insane conclusion to the first arc of this series. It’s violent, angry, and explosive - kind of like how you’d expect kids to react when they find out that the world is designed to see them fail. André Lima Araújo’s art has just been fantastic on this series.

| Published by Image

Hawkeye #12 is a team-up issue between Kate and Laura (All-New Wolverine) with Gabby and Jonathan in tow as well, illustrated by guest artist Michael Walsh who is easily proving he’s a force to contend with. This issue looks great and is fun as hell.

| Published by Marvel

Jenny Finn #1 now in colour. If you haven’t read this masterpiece of Lovecraftian lit from Mike Mignola and Troy Nixey before, now’s a good time to do so. If you have, especially since this has been reprinted and repackaged a few times before, you’ll have to decide whether or not you want Dave Stewart’s colour. There was something to be said for the original black and white, although the colour version’s not bad.

| Published by Dark Horse

Kill the Minotaur #6 is both an expected and unexpected conclusion to the series. Ariadne and Theseus’ confrontation of the Minotaur is suitably epic. I can’t say much more than that because they’d be massive spoilers, so enjoy this amazing artwork from Lukas Ketner.

| Published by Image / Skybound

Killer Instinct #2 does what I was afraid the first issue was going to do and dumps a lot of characters with intricate backstories from the game on us in one go. Where the first issue mainly focused on one character to ease us into the world, this issue gives us more of the Coven, a bunch of characters fighting over the Killer Instinct Tournament, and Jago. While the Jago and Tsar bits are fairly well executed, the central bit over Ultratech is a bit of sludge. As I said in response to the first issue, I’ve never played the game and know little about the world, so this felt a bit like being dropped right in the deep end. The art from Cam Adams is still nice, though.

| Published by Dynamite

Maestros #2 quickly installs Will as the new Maestro and he begins making sweeping changes to the multiverse’s society, trying to bring concepts like equality and freedom to a world that only seems to know subjugation under magical will. It’s an interesting exploration of sociopolitical ideas from Steve Skroce and naturally it brings about severe pushback from those previously in charge. And betrayal.

| Published by Image

Mech Cadet Yu #4 features the cadets first full on confrontation with the Sharg and it’s about as exciting as you would expect. Takeshi Miyazawa’s art is just wonderful and it’s really nice to see Yu thinking on his feet during the battle to ensure the continued survival of the entire team.

| Published by BOOM! Studios

Minky Woodcock: The Girl Who Handcuffed Houdini #1 is interesting. The relationship between Harry Houdini and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle has certainly been in the zeitgeist lately, this one doing something different and focusing on the end of Houdini’s career, long since the two had their falling out. Cynthia von Buhler sets up Minky looking into Houdini debunking spiritualists at the request of Doyle fairly well, but the main enticement is von Buhler’s art. She has a style that reminds me a bit of Melinda Gebbie and it works incredibly well for the smoky, pulpy atmosphere of the story.

| Published by Titan / Hard Case Crime

Misfit City #7 lines up the dominoes in this penultimate issue. Overall this has been a great series and I’m excited to see how it ends. That being said, I wish there were more. The world needs more girl adventurer books and this one has been excellent.

| Published by BOOM! Entertainment / Boom! Box

Ninja-K #1 is a damn fine new direction for Colin King, looking deep into the past of the Programme, dealing with the history of Ninjas A through L, and putting forth a mystery as to who killed Ninja-D and appears to be targeting the other remaining operatives. Christos Gage gives us a compelling mix of mystery and spy thriller that’s only topped by Tomás Giorello’s incredible artwork. Damn fine work.

| Published by Valiant

Rasputin: The Voice of the Dragon #1 begins another pre-Hellboy, pre-BPRD series tying numerous disparate threads together and giving more backstory on the world. This first issue focuses more on Trevor Bruttenholm tracking down a decrypted Nazi message, but it could be about a talking head describing how to prepare an avocado because Christopher Mitten makes everything look amazing. Thankfully, though, the story isn’t bad either.

| Published by Dark Horse

The Realm #3 reveals some chinks in the baddies’ armour as strong personalities clash. The artwork from Jeremy Haun is again one of the main drawing factors. This series just looks great.

| Published by Image

Retcon #3 finally gets around to the premise that Matt Nixon and Toby Cypress were on about in the interview in the first issue. I’m thinking maybe for a storytelling point, they should have led with this, but it does give the series a better cohesion and purpose. This was the make or break issue for me and Crowley ripped from time to tattoo a baby won me over.

| Published by Image

Star Wars: Darth Vader #8 continues Jocasta Nu’s infiltration of the Jedi Archive to retrieve an artifact from under the nose of the Grand Inquisitor. This issue gets a little...explosive.

| Published by Marvel

Star Wars: Doctor Aphra #14 is Emilio Laiso’s debut on the comic and the artwork looks gorgeous. He did a great job on the Rogue One adaptation and it’s nice to see him back on a Star Wars title. Even if I’m going to miss the hell out of Kev Walker’s art.

| Published by Marvel

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles #76 allows no rest for the turtles as they return home from Dimension X, also after the brief excursion with the Ghostbusters. Damian Courciero looks like he’s handling the art chores for this arc and it’s a welcome addition. He has a darker, somewhat more realistic style and it suits the chaos and destruction going on with the Earth Protection Force’s first contact with the Triceratons.

| Published by IDW

Unholy Grail #4 continues this dark and twisted retelling of the Arthurian legend. Part of what really works about this series, though, is that it really isn’t that far removed from the other stories of glorious knights and magic, just given a different context,

| Published by AfterShock

Other Highlights: Adrift, Alien Bounty Hunter #2, Amazing Spider-Man #791, Ben Reilly: Scarlet Spider #10, Bolivar, Champions #14, Curse Words #10, Defenders #7, Descender #26, Doctor Strange #381, Dreadful Beauty: The Art of Providence, East of West #33, Guardians of the Galaxy #147, Horizon #16, Incidentals #4, Incredible Hulk #710, James Bond: Kill Chain #5, Mage: The Hero Denied #4, Mighty Thor #701, Not Brand Echh #14, Peter Parker: The Spectacular Spider-Man #297, Postal #24, Punisher #218, Ringside #13, Secret Warriors #8, Sheena: Queen of the Jungle #3, TMNT/Ghostbusters 2 #3, The Wicked & The Divine #33, X-Men Blue #15, Zojaqan #2

Recommended Collections: Ab Irato, Goldie Vance - Volume 3, James Bond - Volume 1: Vargr, Journey to Star Wars: The Last Jedi - Star Wars: Captain Phasma, Luke Cage - Volume 1: Sins of the Father, Nancy Drew & The Hardy Boys: The Big Lie, Regression - Volume 1: Way Down Deep, Rough Riders - Volume 2: Riders on the Storm, Star Wars: Poe Dameron - Volume 3: Legends Lost, World Reader - Volume 1

d. emerson eddy knows that evolution is a mystery, full of change that no one sees. He sees the line in the sand.

#This Week in Comics

3 notes · View notes

medjaichieftain · 7 years

Text

Silence Watches The Mummy and The Mummy Returns – Musings, Headcanons, Criticisms, & Observations About Ardeth, Horus, and the Medjai - [Part 2 of 2]

(Continued from here.)

[12.] All the commanders were able to be in one place on short notice? How big is a region, how far apart are these tribes, and how the hell did they get there so fast? Like how did Ardeth get word to them, have them decide to join him, and then have them all travel to that central location at literally a couple days’ notice? That really does not compute, heh. Then, once there, he told them, okay now all of you line up so I can just say who you are, and then you can go back to your tribes again? I mean, if I were them, I would’ve told Ardeth to go to hell, heh. Like thanks a lot asshole, we just traveled here at the speed of light and now you’re waving and smiling to us like okay bye-bye? Jerk. XD

[13.] So lemme get this straight… The Medjai can get to all the locations in the second movie while moving slowly on horseback, but the baddies need a train and a caravan of camels and the good guys need a dirigible? Uhm… let’s talk about distances and travel times, shall we? Haha. This is another aspect of writing these kinds of stories that needs to be paid attention to. Horses do not travel at the same speeds as camels, trains, and dirigibles. Also, if they knew the legend and knew that the big showdown with the Scorpion King would only occur at the last location the bracelet showed, then why did the Medjai travel around to all the locations? Why didn’t Ardeth just wait until they found the last location (which, didn’t they already kindof know it was in Ahm Shere anyway? Ardeth said the freaking legend right in the beginning of the damn movie, heh) and then just have them travel there? Because I doubt it was a linear path. He probably had these poor people trekking all around the frackin’ desert like, “Come on Ardeth, cut to the chase already!”

[14.] Okay, I love Horus. I do. But. There is no way… that a falcon… no matter how well trained… can go back and forth between two groups of people if he doesn’t know where they’re gonna be! I mean really?! Falcons are taught to fly to specific people (and yes, they have favorites) and specific locations. So he’s used to flying to Ardeth and he’s probably been familiarized with one or two other chieftains/commanders at least if not more. Okay. That’s fine. Now… Ardeth is in one place. He gives Horus a message and sends him off. Horus is trained to fly back to the location he last saw the other person! So he would go there and give the message and then fly back to Ardeth in the last place he saw Ardeth! And when he got there, Ardeth wouldn’t be there! XD And even if he managed to find him… the next message he was given to take to the other commanders… where would he bring it? Back to where he saw them last! (facepalm) I mean he can’t anticipate where they’re going to be and you can’t talk to a falcon and tell him where to go, heh. They’re trained specifically to go to certain places and people. There is a chance that he will go back to where he saw them last and circle for a while looking for them, but if they were covering as much ground as the bracelet was showing us in the movie, I doubt Horus would circle that wide looking for these people, heh.

[15.] Ardeth’s first thought when faced with a wall of Imhotep-shaped water that could bring down the dirigible and kill him and everyone else in it was to save Horus by telling him to fly away. FEELS. I mean, I possibly also think he let him fly to show them the best way out of the canyon (because the falcon is more instinctive than humans are), since Rick watched Horus and then told Izzy the way to go based on where he flew, but still… I like to think that Ardeth was kindof telling Horus to save himself. Well I don’t like to think it, I do think it. =)

[16.] Why is Ardeth commanding the entire Medjai army at the end of the second movie? Maybe Ardeth is a regional chieftain, but when all the tribes come together, he should be outranked by the higher commanders. So it is my understanding that there are twelve tribes, each with its own commander, and then regional chieftains within each tribe. The way I write him, I’ve kindof blended chieftain with commander, largely because to me Ardeth seemed to function much more like a commander. So screw it I’m making him one as far as duties are concerned heh. But in his particular religious warrior society, I would guess that three things should be respected above all: experience, age, and religious conviction. He’s got the last one, but he’s only in his late twenties in the first movie and early to mid-thirties in the second. Some of the other chieftains looked to be 40-60 years of age. Ardeth should not be commanding the whole combined army of all the Medjai tribes against the Army of Anubis at the end of the second movie, in my opinion. I mean, he looked amazing doing it so I’m really not going to complain, but... It seems unrealistic to me based on how tribal societies and religious organizations like his should normally be run. Did his actions during the first movie make all the other chieftains/commanders think hey, this guy can really handle his shit, let’s put him in charge even though he’s 10-20 years younger than us? I mean yeah, Imhotep got out, but Ardeth & Co. successfully imprisoned him again. That probably earned him a lot of kudos with the higher Medjai. Also, perhaps because the waking of Anubis’ Army pertained also to another awakening of Imhotep, it fell within the “jurisdiction” of his region, so since he was charged with all things Imhotep, it was his deal to lead all of the Medjai to help destroy him again? But the Army of Anubis had nothing to do with Imhotep, really. It had to do with Anubis and the Scorpion King. It was just that they woke Imhotep up to kill the Scorpion King and take over the Army… which I guess is reason enough. Whose jurisdiction did the locations in the second movie fall under? Were they all in Ardeth’s region? Because… that’s a big ass region, heh. I feel like at least one other chieftain should have been involved? But then also… he introduces the twelve commanders of the tribes of the Medjai like they work for him, heh. And they listen to him! So… I mean… there either has to be something else going on with Ardeth that we just weren’t privy to, or he had a history that was never explained, or they just saw a ton of potential in him and were maybe grooming him to take a higher leadership position? I am exploring all of those options in RPs because I can. XD

[17.] Again, I love Ardeth and he looks amazing when he’s fighting, but… there’s no way he would have survived the first round of battle with Anubis’ army at the end of the second movie. He had not slept at all that night and had fought through most of it. He would be exhausted and dehydrated and probably sore as hell. As a writer, I really focus on things like this because I’ve written full-scale battles just like that, sometimes after the character have been traveling for days or weeks, haven’t slept in a while, are wounded, are sick, are suffering from exposure, etc. As a writer, you need to keep track of all that. Your characters should not be super heroes (unless, you know, they are actual legit super heroes, and then okay but… make some rules and limits on their abilities and be consistent, heh). Ardeth was a normal human being with no magical powers whatsoever. He needs to sleep. And drink water. Think about it… He went from fighting in the jungle of Ahm Shere (including his fight with Lock-Nah), to what… running out of that jungle and through the damn desert to find his people because he didn’t have his horse or camel with him and the dirigible was down and Horus was dead (nope just winged, I swear, he’s okay folks)… and then went right from that into battling Anubis’ army? Soldiers that were godlike and huge and probably really freaking strong? We never saw him sleep or eat or drink any water. I’m sorry but… as cool as Ardeth is, he would have been having some serious exhaustion and dehydration issues which would have definitely affected his ability to fight.

[18.] Why is it that Ardeth ties back his hair in the second movie almost consistently in every situation but when he’s in battle and needs it out of his face? I know why. It’s because he looks a helluva a lot sexier fighting with his hair in his face, heh. But in all seriousness, as a warrior, your life depends on you being able to see clearly and from all angles. Hair in your face could spell death for you. As a supposedly seasoned warrior, Ardeth would have always had his hair tied back when he was in battle, assuming he wasn’t ambushed and had time to think about it. And really, he should want to keep it very short. Long hair is a liability. It can get caught on equipment and weapons. Your enemy can grab hold of it. Again, I’m not gonna argue to hard because his hair is amazing, but it made no sense from a warrior’s point of view to have it down in every single fight he was in.

[19.] Ardeth cries out Horus’ name when he’s shot down and starts to run after him, as if he’s a person who can respond back to the call, and as if Ardeth can reach him. It’s an immediate and emotional response. It speaks to the level of respect he had for the bird, but also to the depth of Ardeth’s love for him. He loved that damn falcon to bits. I firmly believe that. He wasn’t just a pet… or a living, breathing messenger bag, heh… he was Ardeth’s friend. Sad as hell. I hate that scene. [Stay tuned for a one shot shortly on this blog (as soon as I get time to write it) I which I change this and have Horus reunite with Ardeth.]

[20.] Omg Ardeth, you never do a sword flourish on horseback when riding at full speed toward an army of evil god warriors, haha. Wtf happens if you drop it? Great. Now you’re unarmed. Why would you even risk it? You also would not THROW the weapon. There was no guarantee that it would fall perfectly stuck into the sand such that he could retrieve it. In a life or death fight, this is simply too reckless. The stakes were too high for heroics and badassery. He should have been trying to stay alive every bit as much as fighting Anubis’ warriors. Beyond that, these people would have really valued their swords. Metal is expensive and making weapons is not something anybody can do. It is probably very difficult and/or expensive for the Medjai to make their own swords because where are they getting the metal from? They would probably scavenge weapons from the dead or buy them from cities and towns. But there’s no way they would be throwing them like they were a dime a dozen.

[21.] Ardeth is a good leader. Seriously. Like… I can see why he was put in such a position of power at such a young age, if that’s really what happened in the whole Medjai society. Like if it was decided or voted on, I mean. He does not act impulsively, and he does not risk the lives of his men unnecessarily. When Rick lights the dynamite when the Medjai attack the camp at Hamunaptra, Ardeth immediately decides this fight is over. He made his point, and if they stay longer, a lot more lives will be lost for not much more proving of the point. At the end of the second movie, when he orders the Medjai army to fight the Army of Anubis basically to their deaths, the way he does it is to make it not sound much like an order at all. He basically just yells out that he’s fighting to the death and it’s assumed that this is an order but it sounds more like “I’m with you” than “go die,” heh. He takes the time to look at the men standing closest to him. He knows there’s no other choice for them, but he places himself on their level when he looks at them. It’s not a decision made without consideration for the value of their lives. He understands the gravity of the decision and what he’s asking them to do because he’s going to die right alongside them. It’s a small gesture that really boosts morale in the moment, even as grim as their situation was. And the cool thing about Ardeth is that he didn’t even do it for that reason, he did it because he actually cared about the people he was fighting with.

[22.] When Ardeth makes the decision to die fighting Anubis’ army, and thus makes that decision for everyone else standing there with him, what is going on in his head? I mean, there really was only one choice, given the Medjai’s conviction, and even if they had chosen to flee, I doubt they would have actually escaped. There was nowhere to run. But after making that seriously heavy decision, did he feel badly for essentially telling the whole of the Medjai to die right here and now? And what about his own life? I have always headcanoned that Ardeth assumed he would not live to be an old man. It had nothing to do with skill or luck or anything like that, but he had seen countless other Medjai fall before their natural time. Such was the nature of his calling in life. So when he decides that he is going to die fighting Anubis’ army, was he thinking… “geez, I didn’t think I’d have this much time to ponder this?” He probably expected to die young, but I bet he thought it would happen randomly, in a split-second, in the heat of battle. I don’t think he ever planned on having all that time while waiting for the army to reach them to think, “hey… this is it. I’m going to die right now.” And then, when the army is banished, he had to be thanking Allah for that, and I think he might have believed that the courage of the Medjai had been rewarded. Perhaps he or other members of the society would tell the story for years to come of the time their faith and bravery was tested… and they passed the test.

#the mummy #the mummy returns #ardeth bay #horus #the medjai #meta

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culturaldispatch · 7 years

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Time On A Budget XIII: Affordable Watches Under $60

A watch is an extension of the person wearing it. Yeah, I know that sounds a bit pretentious but it’s true. Why else would someone spend $25,000 on and obsess over a piece of jewelry that most people won’t even notice you’re wearing? But it’s not just a signifier of wealth. It can be a sign to others how you define yourself. I wear dive watches because I’m a scuba Instructor even though I haven’t actually timed a dive with my watch in over a decade. I use a dive computer instead. And to others a watch is something you just throw on your wrist that looks “pretty good.” Either way there are watches for everyone and listed here are a collection of good lucking watches that won’t break the bank while style maintaining a little bit of style. Some are better than others and in this review I try to point out the differences in what you are paying for.

Casio MTP4500D-1AV on a cheapestnatostraps.com leather strap

Before we get into it you can find previous installments of this series here.

Click here to keep reading.

Howk Tangente Homage - $20

Howk on a leather strap from a Timex Expedition with AJ Morgan Castro Sunglasses

Driven by the success of companies like Daniel Wellington and the German luxury brand Nomos the past few years has seen an explosion of watches influenced by the early-to-mid-century modernist design movements. At the low end this means there is a variety of Chinese minimalist designs to choose from that all look pretty good even if they aren’t high quality or particularly original in their styling. At the high end their are fantastically made German watches using Bauhaus design aesthetics like Stowa and the aforementioned Nomos.

On a red, white and blue NATO. Good look for the 4th of July or Bastille Day.

A new (to me) entry in that category is the Hook Bauhaus model which is a shameless Nomos Tangente ripoff/homage. Like most of these cheap Chinese watches of this type Howk is nothing more than a name used because…well… a watch should have a brand name on it. Like the Corgeuts or Deberts I’ve reviewed previously it’s a nonsense name that really does not mean much of anything. It’s just a way to legally sell replica watches in the US.

At first glance the Howk really is a fantastic looking little watch which is to be expected because there’s nothing at all original about it’s design. Like the Nomos that it’s aping it features a very tasteful use of an Avant Garde Condensed type of font for its numerals which gives it a cool 1930s feel. Another nice touch is the second hand is on the subdial at 6 o’clock which gives it a bit of a classy subdued look. At 38mm it fits nicely on most wrists and will fit under a shirt cuff.

The tech specs are nothing special but for $20 you should not be expecting much. The case is made from a cheap alloy which makes it very lightweight but not very durable. However, the movement itself is a japanese Miyota quartz movement which is about as reliable as a movement can possibly be. The Howk is water resistant to 30m which means it should be fine if you are washing your hands but I would not go swimming with it on. It also looks great on a variety of straps.

The drilled lugs make it very easy to change out the stock strap.

As with most watches of this type the stock strap leaves a bit to be desired however this is far from the worst leather strap I’ve seen on a sub-$25 watch. I put it on the leather strap from a Timex Expedition Scout and thought that it looked even better than the stock strap. And of course it looks great on a brightly colored NATO strap. It’s an incredibly versatile watch.

On the wrist

The bottom line is this is a great watch for the price and I would easily put it in the same category as a Timex Weekender in terms of durability and quality. It has a leg up on the Timex in that it’s not cursed with the incredibly loud (but otherwsie reliable) Timex quartz movement. However a Weekender has the advantage of Indiglo which allows you to light up the watch at night. Unfortunately there is no lume or anything of the sort on the Howk. In low light you just won’t be able to see it.

On an Eton Dot NATO

The Kano Bauhaus inspired watch from the 1940s which influenced both Nomos and Howk.

There is no ignoring the fact that this is a watch that steals its looks from a far more expensive watch, the Nomos Tangente. In fairness to the Howk though the Nomos Tangente is not exactly an original design itself. It’s an updated take on a watch from the watchmaker Kano who was producing them in the glory days of Bauhaus design in the 1930s. It’s up to you rather the lack of originality on the part of the makers of the Howk watch bothers you. For an everyday $20 beater watch I’m not particularly bothered by it.

Note: It’s been pointed out to me that the Amazon listing for this watch list the lug width at 18mm. It’s actually 20mm.

Similar options: Timex Weekender, Timex Field Expedition

Seiko SNK809 - $55

SNK809 on a leather NATO from Crown & Buckle.

Suggesting a Seiko 5, particularly a member of the SNK family, as an intro to watch collecting is almost cliche. Damn near every list of this type is going to mention this watch. However, there’s a damn good reason for that which is that this watch is a fucking steal.

How many $55 watches have an exhibition caseback?

Very, very rarely do you find a company selling a mechanical, automatic watch with an in-house movement for less than $60. But Seiko has been doing just that with the Seiko 5 series of watches for over 50 years. The 5 in the Seiko watch branding comes from its features; 1) automatic winding, a day/date display, water resistance (which varies depending on the watch model,) recessed crown at 4 o’clock, and a durable case (which usually means it is made of stainless steel.) The SNK continues that long tradition admirably. While the watch automatically winds it’s 7s26c movement does not hack or hand-wind. Despite those drawbacks it’s an incredibly accurate and durable movement that also powers some far more expensive watches in the Seiko lineup (such as the venerable SKX007.)

On the wrist the pilot-inspired face is very easy to read even in low-light thanks to some pretty decent lume. It’s got a sporty look that is pretty easy to dress up or down on both leather and nylon straps. The look is pretty heavily inspired by the B-Uhr pilot watches worn by Luftwaffe pilots in the Second World War and coveted by collector’s ever since.

A WWII vintage B-Uhr pilot watch. Much like Volkswagen and Fanta before it the B-Uhr style has managed to lose its association with NAZI Germany which is fortunate because it really is a great looking design. Many B-Uhr style pilot watches take their cues from the Luftwaffe originals and clock in at sizes of 44+ millimeters which on a wrist like mine is absolutely massive. The SNK is a far more manageable 37mm.

My only real complaint about the SNK is that the case is brushed stainless steel. This is purely personal preference but I would prefer it to have a slightly polished case. That’s not a deal breaker though. For less than $60 the SNK provides a damn near unbeatable bang for the buck in that you get an original (albeit derivitive) design, in-house movement and a build quality that punches above it’s weight.

Similar options: Seiko SNK80X in Blue, Green, or Cream, or the Seiko SNKK27

Casio MTP4500D-1AV Slide Rule Aviator - $52

Casio Aviator on a green ZULU strap

At it’s core the purpose of a wristwatch is to be a tool that tells time easily and at a glance. That is a simple purpose but its applications run the gamut from the mundane to the monumental. From a diver using their diver’s bezel to keep track of their bottom time to the crew of Apollo 13 using their Omega Speedmaster’s chronograph complication to correct for catastrophic failure of their moonbound spacecraft a variety of complications and modifications have been made to these watches to make them more useful tools for telling time.

One such modification that you don’t see quite as often on affordable watches is the slide rule bezel. Just as the name says the slide rule bezel allows a person to make calculations on the fly using the inner chapter ring on the watch dial and a moveable bezel to act as a slide rule. With this feature you can quickly convert MPH to KPH (and vice versa) and a host of other conversions a pilot may find useful on the fly when you don’t have the time to find a calculator. A Blog To Watch has a fantastic run down of how a slide rule bezel works.

On a SB NATO from Cincy Strap Works (which is one of the most comfortable NATOs I’ve ever worn) and the classic gold Aviators.

As with most of Casio’s quartz analog watches the MTP4500D-1AV is a particularly well made watch that could sell for twice the price with a higher end brand name on the face. With a 42mm stainless steel case and matching bracelet this piece looks like a million bucks. Much like the Slide Rule Aviator’s cousin the, EF-503D racing chronograph the bracelet is solidly constructed and is much better than what you would expect to find on a $60 watch. The 42mm case wears a bit smaller than similar sized watches thanks to its thinner bezel and shorter lugs.

The movement is a Miyota chronograph with the chronograph complications being the center second hand, and the 9 and 12 o’clock subdials. I particularly like having the watch’s second hand at the 6 o’clock subdial. It makes the quartz tick-tock a bit more subtle. Add in a 50m depth rating and this would be a great watch to bang around with in the summer. You can’t go snorkeling with it but it should do fine hopping in and out of a pool.

Aesthetically this is a conversation starting tool watch. With the numbers abound on the dial and with the chronograph functions I don’t think anyone would ever call this watch “minimal.” That being said it still looks great and the orange accents on the bezel and second hands help the watch to stand out. My only complaint is the same one I have with most chronographs, which is that it’s too hard to read the time with a quick glance.

The lume is nothing to write home about. If you’re wearing it for a while in the sun it will be really visible for about 30 minutes once you go indoors.

And the bracelet is a bit too 90s for my taste but that’s neither here nor there.

If you’re looking for something in the tool watch realm that wears well, has a little bit of versatility, and is a bit different than your standard chronograph check out the MTP4500D-1AV (I really wish they would give these watches real names.)

Similar options: Casio EF-503D (which unfortunately is getting much harder to find)

Casio MDV-106 Revisited - $45

MDV-106 on a BOND Nato strap

The reigning champion of inexpensive summer watches. This isn’t the first time I’ve suggested this watch and it definitely won’t be the last. With stainless steel construction, 120 click bezel, miyota quartz movement, and 200m of water resistance this is a tool watch that punches well above its weight class. It’s understated designs pulls from a whole history of classic dive watches without being overly revertential or a homage. It’s a watch that truly does stand on it’s own two feet.

When I teach scuba classes this is the watch that I suggest my students get to start out as a backup to their dive computers. It will take whatever beating you want to throw at it and do so very easily.

On a minimalist silicone strap

The included rubber strap is a resin band that is fine but I do find it a bit too big for my wrists. I wound up replacing it with a minimalist silicone band and a Bond NATO strap. Perhaps my only complatint about the MDV-106 is its size.

Coming in at a hefty 44mm it definitely makes a statement and isn’t something I would feel to comfortable wearing with a suit or even business casual. But for a Sunday beater to wear on a boat or camping it’s a very hard watch to beat.

Similar Options: Invicta 8926OB, Invicta 8932OB, or the Stuhrling Aquadiver

Thanks for reading. I’ve posted higher res versions of all of the photos on Imgur here if you wanted to take a closer look at everything.

#watches #affordable

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gaaradreamer · 7 years

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Power Rangers Movie Positive Rant (mostly)

WARNING! MAJOR SPOILERS AND GUSHING! ALSO SOME CRITICISM! Okay for those of you who haven't seen it I'd suggest it. It's worth it as long as you expect what it which surprisingly most people don't seem to understand. It was a reboot. That means it's going to have just as corny silly stuff as the original but it's 2017 and it's time to add some depth. And MAN did it add depth! But I went to the movie expecting that kind of reboot. There are some problems and I'm going to post some spoilers. I know sometimes I need to know what's going to happen to give a movie a chance. So if you're like me about that or maybe just this movie here you go, problems you should be aware of: 1. The white guy leads. There are 5 characters with different genders and colors of skin but the 1 white guy becomes the leader. The only reason this isn't a deal breaker is because of what they do with the rest. I'll put that later though. 2. For all the proper diversity there really is only one black person. I'm not even sure there were extras. I would count his mom but we litterally only see a blip of her. 3. The tones are a struggle if you don't get the reason but basically suits are on it gets silly (but also cool! Especially if you loved the show!) suits are off and it gets serious. 4. Product placement. Completely shameless product placement. I used to work for Krispy Kreme and considering how low tech old fashioned a business they were and especially considering our usual customers were almost always over 50, I actually think it was a smart choice. And I'm impressed by not only the choice but how they made their selves so integral to the actual plot. But it is blatant annoying and distracting. I just understand why they did it. 5. Good writing but bad writing. OK everyone has an origin. Everyone is well explained. Everyone reacts to their origin realistically. Every origin is not only beautiful it actually made some skeptical viewers cry. BUT we don't exactly get to see these way more emotionally interesting stories. We see them keep secrets then reveal it later and we see again realistic reactions but we get seconds of them actually going through it. 6. If you're a hard core fan and you're just here for the suits I'd suggest sending in a friend who can come get you when they FINALLY get them on because almost the whole movie is about them learning how to get the damn things on. I wouldn't have minded but it did piss me off when there were plenty of opportunities. They have to be connected and care about each other or no suits. K fine but they show many instances of caring about each other where they should have put the suits on, but didn't. And you can't tell me it's because they weren't trying because one of them did it on accident first. Because he cared about the entire team. If that's the rules then they should have put the suits on right after the campfire scene! Alright those are the only real problems. Here are the reasons you should go see it anyway: 1. Damn with the shock value! These guys know how to make the "dead always come back and main characters never die" thing actually shocking! Even though you know they can't kill that guy off or the world's not really going to end somewhere in the back of your head, this movie knows how to make you doubt it. They ACTUALLY make you worry about the world and the good guys! 2. Damn the depth! I mean I know we said we don't get to see it but what we know and do see means this movie isn't afraid to hit everything it can. Not all the rangers are perfect people who are just misunderstood. These are teenagers who act like teenagers. They do stupid stuff. They lash out. They have attitude and good reason for it. They have moments of doubt. There is more to Rita than in the show (don't get too excited she's brushed over too). She's the villian if you haven't seen the show. There's more to Zordon.(sp?) He's the guide and if you haven't seen the show and you don't know what that means it means he's the Dumbledore or professor X of the story although he's not great at it because of his own depth. There's just so many emotional story points and there really is a good story here. 3. Damn the excellent diversity! This needs to be here as a general but I'm going to address each one because they all really deserve their own reasons. They were handled perfectly! I addressed the ONLY representation problems but imo they mad up with just how many problems people usually have with deversity in movies or TV they completely obliterate. I gaurentee you will feel represented and as an actual person if you are black, gay or have a mental disorder. The usual things you see just aren't there with sadly the exception of the 1st 2 things I mentioned. But dude you don't understand. 4. The black guy is THE MOST IMPORTANT CHARACTER! And is BLATANT my friend. He has the best lines, the most lines and is genuinely the best person in the group. He's really the only one who always has pure unselfish intentions and he is the most accepting person. He basically is the plot all by himself. He is the 1st to get his suit. He finds out where the important thing is, BIGGEST MAJOR SPOILER! LOOK FOR "END SPOILER" IF YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE!!! He's the one who dies but he doesn't stay dead so no not that trope either. END SPOILER. He is responsible for uniting them as a team oh! And did I mention he is a genious and if he doesn't have the most screen time he steals the show so much it feels like it. If there's anyone you're not going to forget it's him. 5. Ok this is the same character but Damn! Double whammy representation. This guy is also AUTISTIC! Don't get me wrong I don't know anyone who is autistic but I was almost diagnosed with autism as both my parents thought I might be and some doctors wondered but some basic questions proved that no I was just extremely ADD which is thought to be on the same scale and if that's true I definitely found myself relating to the guy. I THINK it was correct but I honestly don't know. Here's what I DO know they got right. It wasn't a joke. It wasn't "oh look this guys wrong in the head and it's funny just because of that" It also wasn't pure sympathy or a crutch that makes you feel like life is impossible. It wasn't "oh poor little autistic kid can't make friends or take care of himself or have a normal life" Yes he had some comic relief loosely based on his condition but mostly he was just funny. His condition was a TRAIT AND NOT A PERSONALITY! And that just made it amazing to watch! 6. The lesbian with no girlfriend. I have to say it most of the time of a lesbian is involved it means they can never be single and it's all about the sex or making out. It's pandering which I actually is a good thing but to the wrong people. This movie doesn't pretend being a lesbian means you're some sex driven goddess. You're not guaranteed to flirt with every girl. You're not guaranteed a girlfriend. You don't have a giant obvious sign saying "hey girls just so you know I'm lesbian if you're looking for one and guys back off!" And you don't necessarily have or ever get the courage to tell your over conforming family. and even if they probably wouldn't approve that doesn't mean they're awful or abusive they just aren't likely to understand. We see her parents and her mom definitely needs to take a chill pill but otherwise it's a normal kind family. 7. The other 2 aren't white and there's barely a comment on their diversity. There's literally one line and if you blink you'll miss it. They don't toot their own horn or talk about the importance or problems of diversity and honesty if you're not looking you won't notice. It's a story not a political move. 8. Alpha 5 kicks ass! He doesn't change much from the source material but I remember the 1 thing that bothered me about him was how pathetic he was. He was like the scare damsel in the show. He'd get scared and the rangers get defensive. Nope! The 1st thing he does is drag one of them like a ragdoll. They try to fight him and they get their collective asses kicked! I would actually love to see him fight Rita it might be a fairer fight than you 1st think. 9. Fanservice! Yes they do the group walk. Yes they fight the minions. Yes they get the zords (sp?). Yes they make a giant robot to fight a giant monster and yes the stake are high but it's still silly and it's still action packed 10. Learning curve. Weird new thing they don't automatically know what they're doing! 11. The playoff at the end. The knowing smiles when they listen to their families gush over all of the power rangers and know each color. 12. Nothing is magically better. The sick are still sick. The judgemental remain that way. And the hurt aren't magically forgiving. But everyone is on a "that was unbelievable and awesome" high.

#power rangers #power rangers movie #krispykreme #spoilers #rant #awesome #diversity #representation #POC #Lesbian #autism

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stumperpumper · 7 years

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THE BEST ANIME OF 2016

Hello again! And welcome back to another article of Super Anime Suplex. The blog which weekly writes about something anime related, whatever, etc. Today we’re here on a second post looking back on the 2016 year in anime. Here’s a link to my first post discussing smaller categories for anime year 2016, right HERE. This time we will be addressing some big boy categories for the anime year in review. Originally, I wanted to cover all the big categories in this one post but I think that might get a little lengthy. So, we might just discuss which anime was the Best of 2016 and address other categories over the remainder of the week. I just want to make the choices clear and show the deliberation etc. without making a post overly long. So, let’s just see what happens and go from there. WHAT WAS THE BEST ANIME OF 2016? There were a lot of great animes this year, ranging from reliving death repeatedly to Ice Skating. It’s been a diverse year in anime with a lot of really special contenders for this type of “award”. I’m going to start off by listing my nominations for this category and then I’ll hash out a winner.

Erased

RE: ZERO

My Hero Academia

Hai to Gensou no Grimgar

Mob Psycho 100

Kiznaiver

Yuri!!! on ICE

So there are our contenders, now let the choosing begin.

I’m really quite keen on all of these series but I think there’s definitely a winner. Now, this isn’t to demean the quality of any of the above shows; I think they’re all really solid top quality animes that I’d recommend to you in a heartbeat. Let me begin by saying, I don’t think I can honestly condone Yuri on Ice as the best anime this year. Which is a shame really, because I’d really like to. The thing about Yuri is that, for me, it doesn’t really conclude. Don’t get me wrong though, this isn’t a criticism. Frankly, I don’t think Yuri was supposed to conclude because it obviously not over. For me, that’s kind of a death sentence for the show for 2016 at least. I know this is sort of a dick move, and you could almost apply the same logic to Mob Psycho 100. But series that leave off on an open end really make it hard for me to contest them with series that wrapped up their whole story like Re: Zero, Grimgar, Erased, and Kiznaiver.

Yuri didn’t really conclude any of it’s stories in this past season. It doesn’t really conclude the relationship of Yuri and Victor, Yuri doesn’t win so we have anticipation for him to try again, and similarly we still don’t know what Yuri or Victor want to do with their careers. Save drawing conclusions from the outro, but that’s sort of a quick way to wrap up all that stuff in my opinion. You can’t expect me to be like, OK, that 2-3 minute outro answered all my questions and I can die at peace now. Fuck no, I want a Yuri Season 2. I’m damn sure I’m going to get it too. I’m just saying, if we’re judging what Yuri presented in just 2016 we can’t say with an sincerity it was the best anime. However, I’ll make a strong argument it presented some of the most compelling characters and fluid animation of the year.

Like I said, Mob Psycho 100 is really similar, though it does leave off on a more solid note than Yuri, it concludes a few of the opened story lines etc. It’s a really nice anime and follows a lot of the beautiful animation trends one might see in One Punch Man. If I recall Mob Psycho is actually by the same author as One Punch Man, so that explains a lot. Though it boasts one of the most unique and original art directions I’ve seen in a while, I think to be a GREAT anime it needs to conclude. Now normally I’d say you need not be a GREAT anime to be the best anime of the year; because, there isn’t always a GREAT anime every year. I use that term very rarely to describe an anime, I reserve it for animes that do it all. This year, I think there’s an anime among the ones above that is truly GREAT so unfortunately failing to be conclusive loses the victory for both Mob and Yuri this year.

Sadly, My Hero Academia hits this wall too. Which reminds me, where the hell is my season 2!? I hate to rush it but have you any idea how worked up I am about this super hero anime? I need more of it in my life. But seriously, this anime is brimming with coolness and so many feels for Midoria. I hate to say that I’m happy it didn’t finish this year, but I kind of am. There’s something about anticipating this shows next season that I really enjoy being able to do. So My Hero Academia won’t be winning this year, but just wait till it finishes. I’ll have a lot to say about it at that time. (Hang in there Young Midoria!)

Again, this isn’t me saying it’s a bad thing they didn’t conclude, there’s a lot of factors as to why these series didn’t finish. It simply means that when they do conclude they’ll be stronger contenders and I can’t wait to review the year either of these series finishes in. That said, they definitely deserve being mentioned for presenting so much quality without even finishing. Certainly I think an un-concluded series could win Best Anime in a year with different contenders; but not this year.

Kiznaiver and Grimgar both started and concluded in 2016. Kiznaiver was pretty good and is by the same studio that produced Kill La Kill. The art direction was pretty unique and the use of color was cool too. It’s kind of like a love story type of deal. There’s a lot going on and it feels really relate-able in many ways. But I think it sort of falls flat emotionally. In this way I mean, it tries to invest in your emotions but it doesn’t succeed as much as it tries (if that makes any sense?). But I still love Sonozaki; maybe just not as much as I love Rem. You feel me?

Grimgar on the other hand succeeds where Kiznaiver fails. This anime is like 3 series in one. It’s such a journey in a way that can only be described by watching it. It’s emotional and beautiful, but also kind of sloppy. I love going in depth with each character and getting to know them. I really feel for them and their situation; and that’s really important to me. but, I feel like the plot sometimes becomes confusing or rather... Fuck the plot, I just want these characters to fall in love and be happy already! Like I said, it covers a lot of ground for being a short series. Of course the pacing is going to seem a bit odd when you try to do so much on 12 episodes. With that said, it’s amazing how much I love it anyways.

Finally, this brings me to the final 2 competitors. Erased and Re: Zero. The ultimate winner by my judgment though. Is.

RE: ZERO

Let me start by saying, NEVER have I cringed so hard during an anime. Subaru made me cringe so hard at times I literally had to put this series down. Let me say that, when I’m watching something weekly it’s damn near impossible to get me to miss a release day. But Subaru made me leave. That’s how emotionally invested I was. I literally wanted Subaru to die at times, I was covering my face with a pillow screaming “Just fucking die already.” If that doesn’t say emotionally invested, I don’t know what does. And DAMNITT, I almost cried more than a few times. And you know what, I still kinda fucking hate Subaru. But I just love this anime to bits and pieces.

Let me clarify, I honestly thought after I saw Erased, that it would be my anime of the year. I was CONVINCED. I thought, nothing will top this in 2016. The delicate cinematography. The feeling for the characters. The constant cliffhanger that kept me crawling back for more every time I left. Every week was like another godforsaken question I’d have to wait to get answered. But ultimately, Erased lost due to predictability and a lesser emotional elicitation for me.

I guessed the bad guy in Erased on episode One, too obvious. So obvious I thought maybe it was a Red Herring and that the anime was even more clever than I. Down to the point of over analyzing scenes to search for clues that it could be ANYONE else. Ultimately though, I had to face the predictability in the end. While Erased did get me anxious and invested in the characters it was ultimately weakened by the fact that I figured out who the bad guy was. It’s still a really awesome anime, but I think it’s just a bit too easy to see through which cripples a bit of the mystery in it.

But Re: Zero. That anime is a sexy creation. You feel for Subaru even in the beginning. You feel how painful it must be to have to suffer so much, and the agitation of not knowing why it has to be such a way. Why does it have to be Subaru who feels all this pain, why does he have to die over and over again? He didn’t do anything to deserve this! You feel for him in that way. He makes you proud by standing up and suffering for people he knows nothing about. He’s so human. So imperfect. He represents all our best parts as a species and at the same time, all of our worst parts.

Sometimes he disappoints you, by lashing out and letting his emotions control him. As we humans often do. He fucks up, makes mistakes, embarrasses himself (which makes me feel embarrassed for him). He even falls in love and selfishly pursues the person he loves, despite other people who would give anything for him.

Now personally I’m team Rem, but I can appreciate that Subaru falls in love with Emilia and no matter how much I want to change that “the heart wants what the heart wants.”

The music is good, the animation is good, the story is good. This is a GREAT anime. I struggled with accepting the ending for a while, because I’m a stickler for endings, but I’ve even come to appreciate that. It’s got that, Samurai Chaploo sort of vibe at the end. Like, yep, that’s what this was all about. There’s unresolved things but fuck it, that wasn’t the point.

Really, I too would like to see this anime get another season just to wrap up. I don’t know if that is planned or what. Even without that, it’s a GREAT anime.

It’s not perfect, but you know... nothing is.

This anime embodies it’s characters. With Subaru as our protagonist, I’d say this imperfect ending suits Re: Zero just fine.

Well this did run a bit long, so I’ll finish up the other categories over the coming weeks. If you have any criticism or suggestions, please message me.

As always, if you like this content, then like this content. Duh! While your at it go ahead and reblog this content to share it, because you share things that you like right? If you want to read more of this type of content, go ahead and follow my blog. That way, you can read more of my content.

I generally write either every week or every two weeks. If there’s an increase in people wanting this content, then I’ll meet that demand by writing more frequently. Thanks again everyone, and I’ll see you all next time!

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adzandiel-blog · 4 years

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An Unfortunate Headbutt With a Guillotine (Zan Thought it Sounded Exotic)

Well, who wouldn’t? I mean, back in the 18th century, tons of things were popping up in the streets1. Steam engines, locomotives, dynamite, the telegraph, the idea of eating cake when there’s a lack of bread, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, mercury thermometers… Really, it was all very thrilling back then. The ‘guillotine’ sounded like a new French dish, or perhaps a new type of massage.

But really Aden, with your proposed title, you make it sound like the conversation went somewhere along the lines of me asking them for an exotic way to spend our time. As in…

US, knowing exactly one phrase of French and it is “We don’t speak French”: Good day, sirs. Prithee, point us in the right direction of the newest, most exciting way to return our mortal bodies to the Heavenly and Damned Home Depot?

EXECUTIONERS, speaking French, knowing exactly one phrase of English and it is “Chop chop, motherfuckers”2**: The fuck? Take them away.

US, realizing:

And… you could guess what happens next.3

But no. That’s not what happened, despite what Aden’s recollection might be.

What really happened was that Aden and I‌ were both coincidentally in Paris—on individual assignments given to us by our respective superiors, I’m sure you understand. Aden was supposed to go strengthen faith in a few local faltering churches, and I‌ was supposed to do… well, the opposite.

We sensed each other in the vicinity and met up a while after that. And ten minutes after that, we promptly agreed to take the time to relax and enjoy the European weather, instead of running around undercover for a week or so, working our damnedest—and holiest—to do our jobs, but instead undermining each other’s efforts. Smart of us.

So then, we did what any pair of friends—or, in our case, sworn Adversaries who never really got the whole ‘enemy’ memo—would do on vacation. We went sightseeing.

There wasn’t a lot of… sights to see, though. Not exactly a charming vibe, with a butchering block every few blocks and the rotting scent of death in the air. For a bit, Aden and I‌ had to resort to dulling our senses whenever we ventured into the city. It was that bad.

Then, of course, Aden insisted on us still carrying out a few benevolences (and misdeeds), despite all the shit going on. I, of course, wasn’t able to say no, because not saying no to Aden ranks high on my list of My Fucky Morals.

We were out of place—that’s what I‌ reckon landed us in shit.‌ We stood out of the crowd like horses in a hospital. Aden in a fine white tunic decorated with little sewn details of blue thread, me in a similar fashion but with a black and gold scheme. Meanwhile, the masses of the streets were grubby and reeked like death—well, quite frankly, we would’ve reeked of death and despair as well if we hadn’t taken the liberties of making ourselves stench-proof—and the most important thing was that we did not speak French.

Putting Aden’s arsenal of available languages and mine together, I’d say it’s quite impressive.‌‌ English, Swahili, Latin, Hebrew, Mandarin, Japanese, a few dead dialects, Enochian, Portuguese… We tried our best to negotiate in Latin, but really, unless the Pope was out for a stroll, it wouldn’t have been of much use. In fact, I’m fairly sure speaking in these foreign languages was what got us condemned and marked as demons.456

Of course, we were never in any real danger. It would’ve only taken a small miracle and we’d have been out of there in a jiffy.7 But we had to maintain some semblance of being mortal—we couldn’t have had the word about two otherworldly beings having escaped from the Bastille from certain death—imagine the paperwork.8

So it was… what, ten days of sulking in the cell?91011 An angel and a demon stuck inside a small enclosed space. It’s a miracle we didn’t kill each other.12 Although, we weren’t entirely bored. It was rather fun to talk with the ghost of the Count de Lorges.‌ (Did I‌ ever mention I could do that?‌ Communicate with spirits? Damned soul and all, you know. Comes with the occupation.)

The day they came to get us, we had worked out a plan. But you know what they say—no plan survives first contact with implementation. I‌ agree! Because our plan failed. Miserably.

Our plan was the following, laid out as comprehensibly as I‌ could possibly put it in modern terms:

1) Roll to seduce.13

And… that was about it.

Yeah, I know. “What happened to the concept of a backup plan? Weren’t you friends with Alexander the Great, what happened to strategy and formation—“ Listen, Aden and‌ I share one brain cell, alright? When we’re apart, sure!‌ Everything’s fine. Everything’s normal. But when we’re within… oh, three miles of each other? One brain cell.14

Suffice to say it… We had to think of a Plan B really fast. And I mean very fast. Miraculously fast. Because we’re quite attached to our heads. Less so than most mortals, but still considerably attached nonetheless. We possessed no desire to lose them.

So what was our rapidly improvised Plan B?

Well, we remembered that while it would fail in logic and strategy to teleport away, we did still have powers. Quite a good deal of raw power, too. Good news, right?‌ Snap your fingers, stop time or whatever, and everything’s fine.

Oh, ho, no.

Because we forgot that each other has powers.

Here’s something that you should know about celestial beings who can do almost anything if they try hard enough:‌ Even in magic, they have their own distinct styles.

Mine, for example, involves golden sparks (when I’m feeling in the mood for it, of course), the occasional stopping-time gig15, and, most notably, fire.

Aden’s, bless him, is subtle, not flashy at all, but brutally efficient when he wills it to be.‌ Mainly, he goes for raw magic, something he can shape and bend to his will, whether it manifest in the form of water, earthly manipulations, air, or fire.16 Usually, though, he exhibits it by molding air—forming protective shields, cages and restraints when necessary, weapons out of solidified air, and the suchlike.

So what happened?

Fire. Air. Golden sparks. Whoosh.

We’d proceeded to accidentally bring down the entire stone corridor, causing quite a panic for the prisoners, guards, and sentries alike. And, apparently, a bit of my magic had backfired—rebounded off of Aden’s minor explosion of hard air and went ricocheting right out of the Bastille and straight into a barrel of gunpowder outside the building.17

Aden and I took the chance among the chaos to vanish.

We’d reappeared in a quaint countryside, miles away from good ol’ Paris. While recovering from the not-exactly traumatic but at least disturbing experience, we received the news that the Bastille had fallen, and we promptly agreed to never, ever, revisit Paris, at least not in that millennia.18

And that’s how we ended up holding a grudge against the entirety of France for at least two decades.

At least I got a promotion for destroying the Bastille and wreaking general chaos, yeah?

And in the sheets, too, but Aden’ll never admit that.‌‌ I will, though. Proudly. I‌ might have had something to do with it. ↩︎

Or something like that. ↩︎

‌ You might’ve guessed what happens next, but take a stab as to who definitely didn’t back then?‌ You’re quite right. It was our favorite demon. —‌ Aden ↩︎

‌ An accusation worthy of execution, of course. Although, the sentence wasn’t being burned at the stake—it was still beheading. Only witches got burnt at the stake. You should’ve seen Aden’s face when they sent in a translator to our cell in the Bastille accusing and sentencing us to death on behalf of us being, and I quote, “Dastardly individuals spawned straight from the depths of Hell”. ↩︎

‌ It wasn’t funny, Zan!‌ It was an insult. An affront. I was affronted. ↩︎

Whatever, angel. It was absolutely hilarious. I‌ don’t care what you say. ↩︎

Did you know a jiffy is scientifically defined as a hundreth of a second?‌ So really, no one can do anything in a jiffy. I‌ think it even took Aden at least three jiffies before he got all worked up over being called a demon. ↩︎

‌ Either we’d have to erase all the humans’ memories, which would take a while—memory magic is always the hardest, with so many mental threads poised to tangle—or we’d have to arrange for Upstairs/Downstairs to do so, which takes explaining, which is something we’d never planned on doing. Thus:‌ Caution. ↩︎

‌ Ten days of being stuck with our respective sworn Adversaries/immortal enemies/literally the ONLY‌ person on the planet who could bring up that one incident from the early 1300s and hit that sore spot. ↩︎

Aha!‌ Blackmail material. If you aren’t careful, Zan, the truth about Geneva might just slip out. ↩︎

Oh, you bastard.‌‌ We agreed to never talk about Geneva. What happened in Geneva, stays in Geneva. Anyway, no one reads our blog, so your threat doesn’t hold much merit here. ↩︎

And perhaps it was! — Aden ↩︎

Want clarification? Either Aden or I‌ would seduce the guards into letting us free. Simple as that. We fucked up and landed ourselves into this mess, so we would fuck our way out. ↩︎

When we’re drunk together, it actually becomes two brain cells, but we don’t really use them, we just rub them together like pennies to further emphasize, using a parody of the classic idiom, how little brain cells we really have. ↩︎

It’s not as easy as it sounds, though. It requires tremendous effort, and even then, it makes me want to pass out for weeks afterwards. I think I’m getting better at it—last time I did it, I only slept for five days after. ↩︎

I’ve asked him not to do fire too often. It really takes from my branding, you know?‌ And sure, I could wield multiple elements, but it’s just so much cooler to have a signature style. ↩︎

It was by sheer luck that it didn’t hit the main supply, or history would have gone very, very differently. The stray barrel did detonate, however, and that’s probably why the crowd started fighting—out of a perfect mix of confusion, fear from hearing the sound, anger at the confirmation of how much firepower there was stored in the Bastille, and enthusiasm. ↩︎

We lied. We did go back one more time to watch the day the Eiffel Tower finished its construction. ↩︎

#paris #humor #we need better tags #creative writing #?#a very unfortunate pun that was aden's idea in the title #adzandiel #historical humor

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