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artificialqueens · 3 years

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A Series Of Mutual Feelings, 1/3 (Scarjah) - Pazinae

chapter 1: i hate u (and the feelings mutual)

Chapter Summary: Ra'jah is determined to have a fresh start and be a better person, now enrolled as a first year fashion school student- but Scarlet has a way of always making her newfound plans falter. With a rocky high school history, the (not so) fortuitous pair endure some mutual hatred

A/N: enemies 2 luvers scarjah everyone xoxo meant to be a oneshot, but got a little carried away n my doc for this is currently 19 pages long ahaha so to be more palatable it will be a 4 chapter story (its says 3, but you'll see). this one is mainly the intro for the story to understand where they're at emotionally in the present, and is mostly ra'jah centric on her growth + kylie friendship fluff bc theyre the cutest, and a bit of scarlet pov. feedback super super welcome, enjoy !!!

***

Scarlet strode down the hall with a sway in her hips, her heels clacking on the laminate floor. What kind of tacky ass bitch wears heels to school anyways? Ra'jah scoffed internally, watched the girl saunter like she's on a tightrope, each tantalizing step brought her foot exactly in front of the other. Her body fell into a rhythm, stomping the fucking campus like a lion stalking the jungle for the sheer fun of watching it’s prey scamper. Scarlet's bouncing skirt, her signature grin and luscious ginger curls sprouting out her scalp made her gag. And not in the stunning way. Just as quickly as she came she was gone, and, to be fair, she was just another girl sandwiched in the masses just getting to where she’s going. But she could pluck that arrogant little redhead bitch out of any crowd. Not a conscious choice of course, hell, being reminded of her sheer presence causes a battle of trying not to roll her eyes behind her skull. She can't help that she sees her. Not when Scarlet's lips are painted the same shade of bold crimson as the tight, sleeveless top she's wearing, like a fresh drop of blood in a sea of grey clad bodies swimming around in their hoodies.

This isn't high school anymore Ra'jah. A repetitive reminder that needs to be said evermore until it's understood at her core. Because It's different now, she knows that- it has to be. No fucking way are her dreams going to get caught up in everything again, they're too big to be put at stake. She can't live just to be like that again, and this time she's too grown to waste her time on useless people. High school was a bubble, a 4 year trance that she's left and is more than ready to forget about.

"Hey, Ra'jah!" That southern, velvety voice could only belong to one stunning woman. She turned around to spot her speed walking to catch up.

"Aye! Kylie!" Ra'jah stopped and gave a little wave as Kylie approached, her highlight shining even in the shitty indoor light. The two moved over to the side of the hall, and leaned against the wall. "If it isn't Miss Kylie Sonique Love," With such a pleasing name, Ra'jah doesn't think she will, or, really can ever get tired of saying the other girl's name. "What's up?"

"Nothin', just tired as fuck," It's kinda cute, the way her accent gets stronger when she's grumpy. "I'mma pass out at some point, I did not get enough sleep." Even as a grumble her voice is so soft and angelic, Ra'jah could probably fall asleep to the blonde reading true crime murder stories.

"Goddamn, it sure as hell doesn't show!" Which is true, Kylie was as effervescent as always, any visible messy hair from under her beanie looked intentional. Even in her oversized t-shirt and shorts, there was an undeniable, captivating charm about her that made it impossible for her to look bad "You look gorgeous girl"

"Awh, thanks honey," She smiles a soft, hazy smile. "You don't look too bad yourself." She hums, eyeing her up with a grin. Before she could even argue a response, the country girl quickly perks up and slaps her hand on Ra'jah's shoulder in excitement. "Oh also! I want your opinion- I'm thinking about dying my hair pink." She can see the visible sparkle in the pair of eyes looking at hers. "Thoughts?" She asks, voice becoming giddy "Oooh bitch! You better, that'd be so fierce!" The (mostly) purple haired girl exclaimed, delight evident in her voice "For real, you'd look so good. And you know, ba-BY" she claps her hands together just for added emphasis, "I support ALL the impulsive hair decisions".

"Yess, obviously I want input only from bad bitches with the best hair"

"I told you I did these myself right?" she asked, running her shoulder length hair through her twirling fingers. "I've been really into doing hair recently"

"Wait, really? It looks so pretty, the fade to purple is so good"

"What'd you mean 'wait really' hoe, what you implying 'bout my hair skills?"

"Just that a talented woman like you should share your expertise!" Even when she was loud her voice was just as comforting, the tone reminiscent of a silk blanket on her skin

"All it took for me was bleach, a bottle of violet Arctic Fox dye, and the holy spirit of Brad Mondo"

"First of all I'm not trusting no mans named Brad," Ra'jah cackled a little because, yeah that's fair. "And secondly, if you're free, come an' help a girl out then!

"You're inviting me over? Wow we're moving kinda fast Kylie"

"Oh shut up bitch" but the undying twinkle in her eye confirmed the unsaid agreement that Ra'jah would be doing Kylie's hair, at some point.

"I'm free on Thursday, can I visit then?"

"Yea that works" She smiled, and the closeness between the two wasn't something the taller girl ever planned, or really felt before. But she had it now, a friend she really cares about, and she never wanted to lose it.

"Shit what time is it?" Even in her Shitty Human era she was still a timely gal, her mother didn't raise no late hoe. "Don't stress it Raj, we have like 15 minutes. Introduction to drafting and sewing, right?"

"Yes ma'am. Wanna start going?" "Sure thing" This year is for a new start, making new friends, and getting a chance to create new first impressions. Rebrand herself y'know, and the hindrance that is Scarlet's existence, wrapped in all the ancient things she'd rather not think about, won't stop her.

The walk to class was a pleasant blur. With Kylie yawning and walking essentially shoulder to shoulder with Ra'jah had they been the same height, they slipped into both comfortable conversation, and silence. With all the noise around them, their presence brought an ease without any awkwardness.

A trek opted through the outdoor route that was albeit a tad longer, provided some well needed greenery and fresh air.

"You excited for class?" Ra'jah asked, only half aware of where she was walking to. Her body was on autopilot, and Kylie knows the way, probably.

"You're amazing if you can get excited by class"

"It's fun!"

"Only 'cause you're good at it"

"You're good at it"

"You know what I mean. Isn't this one your favorite?"

"It's not my favorite"

"Uh huh"

"I just like it a lot. Maybee essentially jus' cause I don't hafta try" It was a mandatory course, but Ra'jah's not complaining. Perhaps it's a little vain to enjoy something just to remind everyone you can do it, but it was an easy break from the rest of the courses. And a nice little egoboost.

"So I'm right!"

"C'mon it's October and we're still on basic techniques"

"It's called introductory," She remarked. "Do you even pay attention half the time?"

"No but bitch neither do you"

"True" Kylie grinned in agreement.

"The way you're coming for me but it's easy for you too!" She hasn't been sewing as long as Ra'jah, but she has great taste so it really balanced out. "And let it be known that I use that class time to think about incredibly productive things"

"Oh that's her name?"

"What?" She didn't mean for her tone to drop. Didn't mean for her legs to stop walking, planting themselves into the cement. Didn't mean for the smile on her face to plummet at the implication. Her visceral reaction was louder than the cluelessness she gave off.

"Calm down" She giggled, as if Ra'jah's reaction woke her up from her grogginess, her breathlessness equivalent to a shot of espresso for Kylie. "You just seem really occupied sometimes is what I meant"

"Me? No I'm not" She couldn't convince herself.

"Okay babe. The models of your fashion sketches just look a little reminiscent"

"You know Scarlet isn't the only person with ginger hair right?" Ra'jah bites back, the condescending tone not her intention, but not exactly unwanted in the moment. Scarlet is insufferable, she doesn't want her own name slandered is all, being associated with the arrogant shit.

"Baby, I ain't mention Scarlet. That's all you.'' She had a shit eating smirk and maybe Ra'jah takes everything back about how nice friends are. IF there was inspiration, Scarlet is objectively nice looking so it's not a big deal there might be similarities if you squint.

"She was implied"

"If you want her to be"

They get inside and take a seat at one of the large tables, divided into stations with a sewing machine and some material at each one. Ra'jah takes a spot at the edge, with Kylie seated to her right.

On paper, it's all been planned out for Ra'jah; during her strolls between classes she'll take in all her surroundings and actively look for inspiration, pondering all the natural shapes and patterns of the world in a way she can manipulate into clothing. On paper, she'll make the most out of the introductory class, sketching designs between the minimal notes and sewing practices. On paper, she'll finish the mornings class with ease and have extra time to practice some new things.

In reality? Paper is flimsy, especially when its accountability is held by a fleeting mind. It's hard to bask in the world when unwanted questions plague her head. Mostly revolving around a certain redhead. God, fuck her. Fuck her pretty eyes and fuck her sculpted face and fuck her euphonious voice. Does everyone who sees Ra'jah see her patheticness? How she allowed some cunt to infiltrate her mind, set up home in her head and take up all the space? Let her infect every cell in the brain like a parasite until her skull is nothing but an infiltrated shell for an infestation caught up with infatuation?

"Ra'jah, you good?" The girl sat across from her, Trinity, piped up, and Ra'jah had to bite back a smile. The icy, timid girl she met just a few weeks ago was starting the conversation.

"Yeah, I'm fine, why?"

"You just looked a little spaced out"

"Nah, it's just that this class is a breeze an' I'm just thinking about a project for another class"

"Mmm"

"Plus it's hard to just think of designs when there's no inspiration"

"I mean, we're supposed to practice gathering and making ruffles right now"

"Oh shit! We are?"

"Yeah girl!" Ra'jah, shaking her head at herself, finally picked up some of the fabric around her and got to work. "You'll be alright?"

"Oh don't worry about me! I'm all good"

"Okayyy if you need anything just yell" Ra'jah replied with a hum and a nod. Watching the girl running the fabric under the machine, memories of the first time they'd talked flashed, days of the nearly silent girl feeling so distant.

"I really like your earrings" The girl raised her head, looking left and right a little as if making sure it was directed at her.

"Thanks." She mumbled, vaguely looking at Ra'jah's direction.

"If you don't mind, where'd you get them?"

"Uh, I thrifted it."

"Oh, cool" Ra'jah smiled, before quickly adding "Thanks". The raven haired girl didn't reply. The start of the intriguing game of 'does she hate me, is she shy, or both?'

After all the awkward attempts made for the quiet girl to be comfortable and maybe make a friend, a sense of pride rang through her. She met Kylie and Trinity here a mere month ago, and yeah, maybe she could be nice. She could walk the fineline of warm socialization without being annoying. The new Ra'jah doesn't do unnecessary mean quips just for the sake of a little power rush. She can be authentically her while being polite. New Ra'jah makes friends- not enemies.

"Oh by the way" Ra'jah snapped her head up at Trinity's voice

"Yeah, what's up?"

"I know it's a little random but do you know what you're gonna be for Halloween?"

"Huh. Well, I haven't really thought about it" Ra'jah remarked, "I just don't care for Halloween and all that"

"Really? Girl, you're not gonna do anything, dress up, go out, nothing?"

"Baby all that work and money for some costume I'll wear once? No ma'am- and the fuck will I do, I barely have ideas for school!"

"Hey, you could wear anything and it's a costume. Wear a black dress, you're a cat"

"You think I'm that basic?"

"Yeah?"

"Fuck you" She snorted, and Trinity had a goofy smile, looking at Ra'jah with a sense of familiar fondness. "And thanks, really, but I don't care for all that spooky shit anyways"

"Damn, alright!" Teeth out and all, she laughed. The blonde on the right leaned in a little, a pleasant opposition of Trinity's hesitation is Kylie's eagerness

"Jesus Ra'jah, what did Halloween do to you?" The southern girl butts in. "You could dress as the grinch of Halloween, steal children's candy"

"You know what, yeah, I'll be a sluttified grinch"

"You're kinda built the same already" Trinity joins with a grin

"Hey!"

"Sluttified? Are you implying the grinch isn't sexy enough?" Ra'jah choked a little at that, found herself smiling with some dopey content, at what exactly she's not sure.

"Do ya'll think being the grinch would count as like, being a furry?" Trinity asked, voice dripping in an odd amount of seriousness.

"What? Baby no" Kylie jumped in. "Yes! absolutely, how would it NOT?" Trinity argues, and maybe it's the easiness of everything. Of how nice it is to just fall into banter when you let people in. Bouncing off the two girls, she doesn't need to think of how to be funny, how to one up herself, remind everyone of why she's worthy. She can just, be. And that warrants a smile.

With Ra'jah's elbow propped on the table, she rested her cheek against her palm to face forward, before turning a little to face Trinity

"But why do ya ask Trin? About Halloween"

"Oh, kinda last minute but I just want some ideas to figure mine out" She shrugs, and Kylie leans over once more. It's a little heartwarming, how physically close she always instinctively wants to be.

"Oh! Are you going to the Halloween party this weekend?"

"Nah parties aren't really my thing"

"Awh, but it'll be fun!"

"Yeah standing in a mass of people I won't talk to will be so fun"

"Fine- Ra'jah, are you goin'?" Rajah turns her head to follow the voices like a cat keeping up with a beam of light.

"Uh..."

"RIGHT, forgot, Halloween's not your thing". A party where she can have a disguise, let loose and have fun. It feels almost embarrassing to admit to her newfound friends that she's never been to a party, and the thought of a Halloween party didn't even cross her mind. Maybe Halloween isn't not her thing, it's just not something she'd indulge in. For reasons. Like, schoolwork.

"Welllllll…" Ra'jah hummed, dragging on with a small grin

"OH the prospect of partying changes things huh?"

"You know, me an' Halloween, we complicated okay!" They laugh, but Ra'jah's left thinking. New or old Ra'jah both, spends a little too much time in the internal realm of the brain.

The class falls silent except the murmurs of the buzzing machines, and the three chatter in whispers. Although usually it's mostly her and Kylie with occasional injections of confirmation from Trinity

"You're insane if you think spaghettini is better than fettuccine" Kylie protested "Spaghettini is literally the objective worst"

"Says who?!" Ra'jah paused sewing to look up at Kylie in defiance

"Me!"

"Trinity which is better"

"Huh? Ya'll It's too early for this." Trinity complained.

"Oh, says the bitch who asked if the grinch was a furry" Ra'jah retorted, but Trinity brushed her off to look at Kylie "Oh wait! Also, Kylie, what're you gonna be for Halloween?" She gave a little snicker before answering

"Don't come for me but honestly? Was thinking about being a cat"

"AAAAAH!" Ra'jah and Trinity erupted laughing.

"But like, a hot one okay!" Ra'jah quickly tried to redeem herself.

"You'll be the hottest ass cat around" Plus, worse comes to worst, Ra'jah will be a witch or something, and they can be hot and basic together.

When the class ended, they packed their things, and exchanged their goodbyes

"I'll see y'all around!"

"See you! Good luck on your textile project Trin"

"Thanks!" She waved, yelling a final "Bye!"

"Bye!" The three part, and Ra'jah makes her way to her second class. History of costume and design was next, and quickly weighing it out, she decided to take a quicker path through the halls. Suddenly, the weight of a body knocked at her side, the two stumbling around for a few seconds. A gust of papers had fallen from both parties' arms, and landed on the floor.

"Oh shit! I'm so-" Scarlet cuts herself off when she looks up at whom she's bumped into.

"Maybe watch where you're going" Ra'jah snorts out of sheer instinct, squatting down to gather her papers where Scarlet follows suit, just a little too close. The vague, sweet scent of strawberries she gives off is suffocating.

"Maybe if you weren't such a stuck up cunt taking up half the hallway I wouldn't hit you" The attention sends a masochistic jolt down her spine

"Uh oh someone's in a bad mood. Stuck up cunt that's a new one! Love the creativity. You should drop out of this school and be a writer" As much as she screamed internally to just shut the fuck up and get your things, it was so easy to slip back to this.

"Thanks but I'm good! When you fail out this year you can give it a try"

"Baby, me? Fail out?" Please don't imply that. Please don't make me doubt that I can and deserve to be here. I don't want to seek approval from others, but I can't help but be hurt at disapproval. Of course, her thoughts don't verbalize as the words that come out of her mouth. "That's a lot of talk for a girl who probably spends more hours getting fucked than studying" Before she can think it through, process the flash of hurt on her face and the way her fingers tense around the last piece of paper, before Ra'jah can really understand the weight of her own words she continues. "But I guess that's how you get yo' A's right?"

Their exchanges were in aggressive whispers, hushed to anyone above them. To most people, they'd find a sight of two girls muttering to one another while they pick up some things they've dropped.

"You're so much prettier when you're quiet" Scarlet huffed, standing up in one swift motion. Those words aren't a compliment. Like, at all. So why does Ra'jah's dumb, twisted heart stop for a second? The implied connection of herself and 'pretty' slows her body and slurs her mind until she's pushing herself up off the ground in slow motion. It's been so many months of mundanity, the small interaction felt all so familiar and foreign and exciting at the same time.But the haziness of her words and their little games makes her forget for a second of what the fuck just happened, and a wave of patheticness washed over her as she started to walk, eyes focused at the cream walls. For all her hemming and hawing, Ra'jah hasn't. Fucking. Changed.

A rush of everything dives into her guts, a sick adrenaline coated in dread, self loathing and the slight urge to cry, nestling in her stomach like a bird claiming a branch as it's home. Her skin was electric, and she hated to admit she loved it, the thrill of interacting with her, cattiness and all. Imagine feeling this much from fucking bumping into someone? Fingers clenched, nails digging in her own palms at how much she hates her. Intense emotions are a high of their own, and Ra'jah can't help but indulge. The piercing sting of her flesh being pressed in with her nails is intensified as she listens for the faint voice of that lanky girl always accompanying Scarlet.

"You good Scarlet?"

"Yeah, thanks" She can't look back, but she can't help but wonder- are they hugging? Holding hands? It doesn't- it shouldn't matter to her. The fun amusement pales in comparison to the misery settling in. The realization that she's fighting with Scarlet like they're 16 at the back of English class.

Of all the schools, why'd that girl have to come here? Of all the things to pursue, why the same as herself? Of all the people, why'd it have to be her? Ra'jah didn't have the audacity to explore the last question. What she means, she's not too sure. The only thing in the world she's sure of is that she can't be both New Ra'jah™ and Old Ra'jah™ to different people. The line between the two existences isn't so bold anymore, and painting over the bumps isn't as effective as she'd hoped.

***

Truth be told, watching herself move around in skirts was one of her favorite things- just about tied with watching others watch her. Maybe that's why she joined cheer in highschool. Especially with the support from (or, lack of thereof) a certain grimacing purple haired girl, a runaway model from a fashion show who wound up wandering this school. She never needed to turn and look, didn't need sight to know there's a burn at her back, nor who it's radiating from. Scarlet always walked with just a bit of a straighter back, just a bit more purpose, and just a bit more stride in her step when her favorite pair of wandering eyes were around. A small part of her always wants to turn around, catch her gaze and watch her frantically look away and pretend she's talking to someone. Or maybe she'll hold it, stare back with just as much intensity. But her wistful attention is enough of an ego boost. The scowl ridden bitch, smile washed away just for her, and yet that's where her attention lied. It made her bite back a smile.

Scarlet is a pretty thing, and she didn't need constant confirmation to remind her that she's beautiful. She's hot, she knows it, Ra'jah knows it, and Scarlet knows that's all she is to her. A pretty thing. Whatever. She's not important.

In fear of her brain melting, and/or being fried to a crisp, Scarlet doesn't bother having two classes back to back. Her mental capacity is full, and a nice salad will probably help with that. She's on her way to meet with Yvie for lunch, thinking about their weekend plans, when she takes a misstep and stumbles, all her weight focused in her shoulder which slams against someone else's side.

"Oh shit! I'm so-" the universe is an asshole. May the odds never be in my favor.

"Maybe watch where you're going" Her sneer is venomous, and the universe has suddenly become just the second biggest asshole.

"Maybe if you weren't such a stuck up cunt taking up half the hallway I wouldn't hit you" Ra'jah didn't do anything, a rational voice lectures, but she ignores it the way she's ignoring the taller girls face. Scarlet's grabbing at her papers, avoiding eye contact because that selfish pile of shit on her right takes up enough space as is, and if she looks into her eyes, sees that stupid fucking face this close she might do something bad. Like, in the sense of, punching her. Yeah, she can't look at her or she'll beat her up. Because that's a fight she'd win.

"Uh oh someone's in a bad mood. Stuck up cunt that's a new one! Love the creativity. You should drop out of this school and be a writer" Ra'jah snides, and she needs to drop out before Scarlet gets grey hair from her.

"Thanks but I'm good! When you fail out this year you can give it a try" Her words are about as empty as her own stomach, because she hasn't eaten since last night, and Ra'jah will quit fashion school and become a science engineer before she fails out.

"Baby, me? Fail out?" Yeah, with the flawless outfit you're wearing that you sure as hell made just because you were bored one night. Your pants could literally be sold as a luxury brand. The girl who started sewing when she a embryo in the womb, you'll fucking fail out. "That's a lot of talk for a girl who probably spends more hours getting fucked than studying- But I guess that's how you get yo' A's right?" Scarlet looks up, not at Ra'jah but away from the ground, and the urge to yell, hit her, and cry come up at the same time. She wants to scream, get everyone in hearing range to know that Ra'jah is a loser who will amount to nothing. She wants to reach out and choke her. But articulating her anger into words is too much, and she ends up just whispering whatever words are willing to come out as she gets up, not caring if she left any papers behind.

"You're so much prettier when you're quiet" And that's the closest thing to honest Scarlet's said all day.

In the distance, she sees Yvie walking towards her, so she waits until the freshly dyed green haired girl is caught up beside her.

"You good Scarlet?"

"Yeah, thanks" The two walk together, side by side, and Scarlet loops her arm through Yvie's, linking the pair.

"You know, Scarlie, you should stop wearing heels before you break your ankles"

"Hey!" She giggled, slapping the taller girl's arm in response. "I never fall, people just get in my way" Yvie scoffs, unable to stop the corners of her lips turning up and giving her away, forever endeared by the shorter girl. Scarlet's affection makes her forget that they've only known each other for a month. They reach a set of blue doors, and Yvie opens it, holding it for Scarlet to come through. Her face seems puzzled

"Are you down to go to Mika's Cafe? I want to get some coffee"

"Sure, they have nice breakfast sandwiches and omelettes, I'm down" It's only a few minutes away from campus

"What's on your mind"

"Just like, school stuff. I have to make a dress for creative fashion design, and I'm just thinking about it, and what I wanna do" Would it be tmi to blurt that Ra'jah is insufferable?

"Cool," Yvie hummed, and spiteful words cycled through Scarlet's head, deciding on what exactly to say, before Yvie beats her to it, whipping her head in some seeming urgency

"OH by the way, I know you're busy with your project and you're determined on getting in the top 5 and all,"

"Uh huh"

"Buuuuut, there's a Halloween party this weekend, and I was gonna go with Brooke and her friends but they're not going anymore," Scarlet knows how Yvie feels about Brooke, and to be fair she's only met her a few times in passing, but how someone like Yvie could fall for someone as uptight as the boring blonde is beyond her. She doesn't dare bring up another possibility of why her dorm mate would be avoiding the stoic girl, a possibility involving a particularly hot headed latina glued to the Canadians side. "They decided clubbing downtown would be more fun or whatever," They're outside on the pavement now, and the afternoon breeze graces their skin. It's a welcome environment, and Scarlet slows down her pace to enjoy the air, with Yvie quickly matching her pace.

"Wouldn't you rather go clubbing though? Like not with Brooke and them but with others," Scarlet is friendly and all, but she swears Yvie is somehow friends with half the school. She sure as hell can find a group to go with.

"I guess, but I want to go to the party," she quiets a little as she continues, "There are some people I want to see there, for fun and stuff"

"Mmmm!" Scarlet widens her eyes, looking at the taller girl with a knowing glare, sprinkled with a teeny bit of judgement.

"It's kinda lame to go there alone!"

"No it's not!"

"Scarls, yeah it is"

"Why do you even care? Wanna impress some girls?" In response, Yvie rolled her eyes so hard Scarlet could practically feel it.

"'Cause you want me to go to a fun Halloween party by myself?

"Yes! You could walk up to anyone and there's like an 80% chance you already know them, and a 100% chance you'll become friends anyways" The quirky girl's charm is undeniable, she'll be fine without Scarlet. Yvie gives a defeated sigh

"Seems kinda homophobic"

"Ugh you know what's actually homophobic? The fact that more people aren't madly in love with me. I'm LITERALLY perfect" The prospect of love feels like it's been dangled infront of her, her whole life. Imagine looking like Scarlet, and never dated before?

"You're right girl, you are" Yvie laughed her deep, hearty cackle and Scarlet wanted to melt a little.

"Thank you, finally someone with taste" Looking at her outfit, she remembers that the tall girl's taste is kind of debatable, and Scarlet almost wants to say she takes it back

"You think Ra'jah has good taste then?"

"What?"

"Also a party seems like the best way to meet more people y'know?" She brushes over her last question, and it's much better that way.

"You know what, whatever 'll go with you" Scarlet agrees so she'll shut up. If she hears her roommate bring up she-who-shall-not-be-named-because-shes-a-stick-in-the-ass anymore she might lose her mind. And, she really doesn't have any other plans for the night so might as well.

***

AN: going to be a while for the next chapter bc im busy so here's a lil thing lol xo

***

They weren't supposed to meet here. Weren't supposed to see each other. At least, that's what Scarlet tries to tell herself.

"You are such a fucking pain, oh my god" Scarlet seethed because everything is hazy except the impassive girl standing before her and she can't think straight. Her cold eyes are apathetic and Scarlet wants to implode, like a glass thermostat engulfed in a burning heat where it's not a question of if, but an inevitable when? "Maybe I am arrogant" Her voice was coated in a sickly sweet frustration. She pushed further into Ra'jah's space, the taller girl stiffening at the ever decreasing space between the two. How can she be so still, so unreactive? This is all so amusing to her? Is she having fun, so fucking detached from everything and watching Scarlet crumble? Pretending like she cares about Scarlet past her pretty face? Enjoying her sadistic game? Fuck her, fuck her, fuck her.

"Maybe I am narcissistic" Their faces were inches apart, and Ra'jah could feel the angry womans hot breathe on her cheek, the pungent smell of alcohol intruding her nose.

"But I'd rather be a confident, arrogant narcissist than whatever kind of sad fuck you are"

Scarlet growled, and she wanted to breathe fire, burn Ra'jah's existence out of her mind and scream at everything she felt because of her. Except that she sees her, and wants her, wants to hurt her and touch her and without thinking her hands are digging around Ra'jah's waist.

"You are such-" Scarlet was interrupted as the other girl leaned in, framed the shorter girl's face with both her hands, and pressed her lips against Scarlets. Any thoughts or mental functionality she had were put to an abrupt stop. This wasn't supposed to happen. It's been so long, but no time has passed since they were last like this. The plug to her brain was pulled, and it's all static and her bodys done a full 180. Ra'jah's piercing lips are numbing, and her overheated body feels like it's been dunked in ice where all her nerves are all in shock. They weren't supposed to do this anymore, it's the only thing they've ever been able to agree on. She was frozen, unable to move, or think, far too busy being hyper focused on the familiar sugary lips on hers, sending waves of nostalgia through her body. Time has only heighted the intoxication. She gains some composure and surges forward, but Ra'jah's pulling away, opening her mouth to finally say something.

"You're so much prettier when you're quiet"

#rpdr fanfiction #as6 #ra'jah o'hara #scarlet envy #trinity k bonet #kylie sonique love #yvie oddly #ra'jah x scarlet #enemies to lovers #lesbian au #fashion school au #a series of mutual feelings #pazinae #concrit welcome

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fukurodaze · 3 years

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can i have (timeskip?) kuroo with a fem! s/o who is a sophisticated introvert that intimidates people because she doesn't smile or talk much but when she's with friends she's actually really nice, funny and outgoing, and she has really good fashion sense? (i'm sorry if this is too specific lmao you can ignore this i'm just yearning for kuroo HAHAHAHA)

this is so funny because this dynamic is literally THE cutest

so you know how kuroo works in pr right so this is The Office Romance Of The Century

the meeting <3

so kuroo works on the ninth floor and you work on the twentieth floor

though you guys work in different departments, you guys are both around the same age so you guys kind of have the same workloads because yall are still starting

different departments eventually do have different schedules, but as newbies you guys kind of follow one (1) basic timetable that is really just 9 to 5

one thing you never expected about the office: good ass food.... like you thought the bread at your school canteen was good? wait till you find the sandwiches on the fourth floor

and since you quite literally have no friends in this big ass building and there aren’t many co-workers who are your age you kind of hold onto the nice yakiniku sandwiches on the fourth floor

it gets rough in a new workplace for the first time ://

so the sandwiches become your routine - around 5-6pm, you’re coming down a whole sixteen floors otw home but also to get that nice thick yakiniku sandwich

guess who else comes?

YA GUESSED IT!! UR FRESH OUT OF COLLEGE KUROO TETSUROU!!!

despite telling himself that he’s really easing into the work life well because his senpais tell him he’s smart, he really doesn’t know anyone

he also finds it weird asking his co-workers to drink as he feels like they should be the ones inviting him so he ends up just chillin it out with some surprisingly good sandwiches downstairs

he likes the chicken ones bc they’re just so nice n crispy yay

he kinda feels shit about it sometimes but thats just how it is huh... corporate work... no friends... and all the rest of his friends r like in other places... yeah

ay but at least he finds this cute girl ordering the same thing over and over again at the same time he’s there

he ignores it at first but you know the saying that the more you see someone the more likely they become more attractive in your eyes?

yeah... that’s kuroo @ u...

and usually he’s doesn’t really pay no mind to people who just do their own business

but your fits r just too cool for this workplace... like mans has been coming to work with suits and youre out here with some combo streetwear power suit... sometimes u wear the highest heels and sometimes you wear the chunkiest sneakers but still manage to look so sleek n sophisticated like 24/7

could it be... he finds you... attractive??? even though you don’t smile much?

kuroo doesn’t stall, so he just goes “i like your style”

my my... you love hearing that dont’cha

but u were like “thanks” 😐

he’s like sheesh

and as he’s about to leave you ask, “what department do you work in?”

kuroo does a double take and is like “um... PR...?” he literally looks over his shoulder to see if you’re talking to anyone else because yo... is this you showing interest???

spoiler alert this is the introduction to his chapter in your love life <3

look it’s not hard for kuroo to get along with quieter people because he used to be siiiiilent, and he’s also grown up with kenma, who was much more introverted throughout middle school and high school

god, you felt so comfortable

and he was SO hot.... WTF

but yeah you’re always like 😐 but make it chic because your fits r fire and your eyeliner SLAYS

this may or may not have turned into a little date at the bar nearby

yes the sandwiches are good but you know what’s even better? drinking some good food in tokyo as Official Employees of the Japanese Volleyball Association

this night was pretty flirty, what can u expect... compliment here, hand brush there, cute laughs n chuckles everywhere

hahaha when kuroo saw you laugh and get super talkative... is that a turn on or what... youre also like funny too??? oh cmon...

safe to say you said yes when he asked you out again, and he swears he would do anything to see you laugh again 🥰

and yes, he does see that laugh again. a lot of times, actually.

the relationship <3

first off: he likes seeing u all professional... good food

second: him in a suit??? yessir. him making connections??? YESSIR

you guys end up hanging around a lot with each other at the office even when you’re busy. and yknow, since it’s the honeymoon phase, might as well sneak a kiss. or a lot of kisses.

people get so surprised when this happens at first, since theyre like... why r they both disappearing 24/7... they cant be going together bc hes... kuroo... and you’re... you... aren’t you guys are supposed to be DIFFERENT??

he always goes heart eyes for u even though it seems like you’re always shooting daggers at him from everyone else’s pov

eventually, as you two get more comfy with each other and spend more time, you find yourself at his place like 4 days out of 7... his place is closer to the office anyways so it’s just convenient especially when you’re busy with your department when kuroo isn’t, and it demands later nights and earlier mornings

when BOTH of you are busy... expect stress makeouts in the kitchen

the way yall would shower together not because of sexy vibes but because yall both overslept and literally have no time 😭

but that doesn’t mean yall dont enjoy it!! u think he’s hot, he thinks you’re hot, works well (you two still end up arriving late)

eventually people see how you guys walk to work together in the mornings a lot... and go home together a lot... and drink at bars together...

and they’re like holy fuck how did kuroo snatch her... like other than the fact that he’s hot... she literally doesn’t smile and is so scary

the sandwiches on floor four have become breakfast burritos because none of yall go home at 5 all that often anymore

but on a lucky day where destiny aligns itself with the stars and time and the volleyball league you’re lucky to get a yakiniku. or maybe chicken.

you guys influence each other, and it’s so funny seeing kuroo come in with some more colourful suits after you told him to experiment with colour

the other people at work r like: kuroo ur gf controls u

kuroo’s like yeah she’s like powerful huh 😏

you kind of laugh it all off, since now you have your own friends at work too, and so does kuroo

they surprisingly ask a lot about your relationship... and though you would like to brag about your very good boyfriend, you keep it pretty vague

you do like to talk about important days though, like anniversaries

but being with kuroo has genuinely made you more comfy in the workplace even though yall are in different departments

you love hearing kuroo’s stories about his co-workers, and you wondered if you could kind of have those kinds of relationships with your co-workers too

your closest co-workers have always been kind to you, albeit intimidated at first

but they’re great shopping buddies, great listeners, and great gossips <3

you normally wouldn’t care about gossip but it’s fun to laugh about sometimes when you’re getting ready for bed and he’s like “by the way... have you heard of [person A] doing ... ” on call

and you’re like oh yeah, actually i have

even he’s surprised at first because you seem like that cool introverted employee but you do have your fits of laughter and bouts of humour

you guys become more comfy with your jobs, and before you know it, a year has passed

you’ve moved in lol

kuroo’s just 100% heart eyes for u pls

the vibes you guys are as a couple?? immaculate. everyone looks at yall like holy fuck. opposites attract and it’s HOT

and it’s so good because you guys know each other so well, from personalities to bodies to work

when you’re on a low, he holds you close and tells you such sweet things, but makes sure to give you space

when he’s on a low, you make sure to talk to him to take him off of his thoughts, to reassure him

kuroo kind of realises he’s actually... like REALLY in love with you and it just hits him a week before christmas when he looks into his cupboard and hates how it’s so messy but ends up swooning 😭

so the next day LIKE FIRST THING IN THE MORNING he’s like “hi. im renting a car. and i am in love with you. do you wanna go on a christmas trip together?”

you don’t even react when he says that... it’s just two seconds of silence and then “okay. i’m in love with you too.”

he’s like “cool. cool.”

proceeds to smother ur lipstick when he kisses u right after work...

but u love him anyway 🥰

and in that trip... just you two in a strange place together... with nobody else...

he sees you with him for a long, long time

and honestly, with the feeling of his hand in yours, you don’t think you’ll be going anywhere either.

#haikyuu x reader #kuroo x reader #hq x reader #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu fluff #kuroo headcanons #kuroo fluff #kuroo tetsurou

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foryouthegays · 3 years

Text

First Meeting [Dream SMP] liveblog and summary w/ timestamps lets gooo

(Time taken: 1:58:56)

(Words: 1,235)

Enjoy!

Summary:

Techno starts the stream in his house. He talks to chat and about the stream, and eventually starts talking to Phil. They go over the Syndicate book and make some copies. While finding chickens, Niki asks Techno where he is, and says she wants to meet with him. Techno tells her to “follow the suspicious compass.” After a few minutes, she finds their house, and is invited inside. She reads the book and agrees to join the Syndicate.

While talking, Techno spots Ranboo spying on them, and goes outside to ask what he’s doing. Techno asks how much Ranboo heard, and Niki asks if he’s not allowed to know.

Ranboo questions her logic and says that if you want to keep a secret, you really shouldn’t be going around asking if someone��s allowed to know something. Techno agrees, and decides to ask Ranboo if he wants to join the Syndicate. He agrees.

After a few minutes of talking, and a quick sellout timer, they bring Ranboo and Niki to the lava pool, and Phil jumps in. It’s the new way to the meeting room, and a trust test. They go the the meeting room, which looks amazing, and start their first meeting with discussion about The Egg.

Techno says that he’ll talk to people and learn more about the Egg. He starts talking about a new government forming to the West of L’Manburg. They agree to investigate the rumors.

Before they leave, Ranboo reveals that Tommy died, to mixed reactions. Techno’s indifferent at worst, excited at best, and the others are in denial, and need to see a body to believe it.

They leave to go to Snowchester, and start talking to Tubbo. After some conversation, they agree that Snowchester isn’t a government, and Tubbo invites them to see his crater. They’re impressed, and say that they’ll call him if they ever need to kill a god. They go back to Snowchester and the prison, and Techno breaks part of the roof for fun.

Eventually, they make it back home. They tear down the dirt fortress in front of their yard, and then Techno ends the stream.

Times of Note (loreish):

3:45 Phil joins the call

7:00 he shows the updated Syndicate book, which reads:

This Syndicate is formed to serve as a network for fellow Anarchists to meet, exchange information, and cooperate in the mutual pursuit of Anarchy and the fight against Tyranny.

We shall have no Leader; no Member shall be compelled to act against their will. No Member shall reveal information about the Syndicate to outsiders.

Technoblade shall serve as the Recruiter to induce new Members into the Syndicate with Approval from a majority of Members.

14:20 Niki asks where Techno is.

16:20 Niki shows up at their door and joins the call.

20:40 Ranboo is spotted spying on them.

34:20 they start bringing Ranboo and Niki to the meeting room.

36:50 syndicate room reveal

37:40 he shows their code names, which are

Technoblade - Protesilalus

Phil - Zephyrus

??? - Harpocrates

48:15 Ranboo reveals that Tommy is dead.

Times of Note (just bc fun lmao):

1:30, 2:02, 2:07 he clap :]

22:09 a deep friendship :) aww thank you! That was adorable

26:45 ‘reblog’ techno r. R u on tumblr technoblade

30:50, 1:00:50, 1:33:30 Sellout timer my beloved

Tubbo dies 6 times before he manages to say that someone trapped him im gonna cry this is amazing

1:03:53 Du du duuu

1:07:05 TECHNOLAUGH TECHNOLAUGH TECHNOLAUGH!!!!

1:23:55 2 4 6. 8 who do we appreciate not the government yeahh

1:33:40 technosneeze?

Liveblog:

Startinggg the streammm my beloved

1:15 ‘well at least im gonna get valuable feedback from my chat, lets see what theyre saying. Late, late, late late late, late’ GOD ive missed his humor

3:45 philza minecraft philza minecraft philza minecraft

Techno has 6 mil subscribers and still doesnt know how to stream. I love him <3

6:00 ah yes, fences, the best way to stop snow

7:00 syndicate book my beloved

7:35 ‘when you have to do a group project in school, do you form a temporary government to get it done?’ S;ALKSDJFALKSDFJA technoblade my beloved

8:20 ‘listen, my high school understandin’ of philosophy will easily defeat the average viewers middle school understandin’’ FGHSKJDLA love he

Techno n philzas interactions r just. So good

16:20 NIKI!!!!!!! Oh my gosh he just closes the door in her face im gkjfhsdla

17:05 ‘im not a fool, im not a foolish fool who doesnt test things before he does them on stream’ love he

17:35 was v sir billiam voice

God technos humor is just. 10/10

Currently obsessed w how in canon niki is like, probably a bit scared of techno n then she goes over there and hes like. Do u think i can bring steve to the syndicate like his image is SO different from how he acts in the arctic i love it

22:55 ‘i would NEVER hurt another human being’ mhm sure techno

Mmmm technos voice when he starts asking people bout anarchy my beloved

Techno rlly does just say things doesnt he. Like i say that abt tommy a lot but techno just. Does he think? Yes. Does he just ramble abt whatever he wants? Also yes

13:10 Obsessed w how fast he ran when the sellout timer went off

32:05 BIG fan of this dono, it’s from J.J.M. Nobody for 50$ and it says ‘You know a hero once associated with pigs lead an army against tyranny.In fact he was supposed to be immortal, if he didnt commit a grevious sin. It made the voice in his head leave him to die. You wouldnt know anything about that?right Tydeus?’

Also i love how technos horrible upload/stream schedule is just him hibernating in canon

36:50 YOOOO THE SYNDICATE ROOM LOOKS SO GOOD

39:28 guys what if i stole phils code name and made it zephyris instead of zephyrus /hj (also who do yall think Harpocrates is?)

Obsessed w how obvious technos trying to make it that theyre not the good guys like the symbol being a wither? The room being all dark n stuff? They have to get in through l a v a? Love it. 10/10 would join

41:15 ‘its a meetin’ room, lets have our first meeting. So, uh, what the fuck is up with the egg, dude?’ GJKHDFSL phil is so good

42:05 OBSESSED with how, canonically, the egg wasnt able to take hold of techno or ranboo bc their heads r already so full of voices

44:10 the TIMING of tubbo dying when theyre talkin bout his place is hilarious

48:25 ‘dream..beat him to death’ ‘yoooo thats a pog’ GDHJKFL TECHNOBLADE

1:02:20 POTATO ROOM SELLOUT LETS GOOOO

1:07:05 HE LAUGH!!!!!! HE LAUGH!! ! ! !

Techno making fun of tubbos tunnel is so good im gonna cry ‘if i were to give any constructive criticism id say that your tunnel SUCKS’ (1:07:50)

1:21:20 why is ther ejust. A random piston ;akdjlafja

#technoblade #first meeting [dream smp]#feel free to send an ask if u have questions or want tws or anythin!

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raikoren · 4 years

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some onions bout the bnha manga since im reading it in jp nao

the more i read of bnha the more i realise. i kind of fucking hate this series. it’s got all the ingredients of the classic old big 3. brilliant art, a cool character here or there (sometimes), bursts of muddled clunky progression but a cool fight to soothe the pacing and the mostly frustrating boring uninteresting pussy story choices! the sloppy sort of toothless writing only shounen jump editors can give me. it really truly reminds me of how i felt reading bleach .. but it hasnt got the same charm to make me forgive it. the artist is really really talented though absolutely adore some layouts especially when handguy is included and we get some cool reaching illustrations. he and his team are commendable for making such polished work week in week out and its genuinely so fun to read from an art perspective and i really like the fact he leans very heavily into a much looser style that makes everything stretch in a satisfying way as if its designed for animation despite being so complex in its illustration.

its one of those series that is painfully mediocre shounen and you can immediately tell that by the fact that even in this hammy nonserious plot, somehow, the female characters still get completely fucking shafted as excpected. they literally do almost fuck all and the big three characters that get the most development and are considered in-universe ‘main characters’ all happen to be male despite the entire main cast supposedly being the absolute best of the best at the best of this top superhero school.

yaomomo is probably one of the most egregious examples. a character whos top of the class, who got in on recommendations (just like the other deuteragonist) with only three other students making the cut and her big character conflict was that she for some reason, felt inferior to todoroki shouto, whose initial character arc revolves around the fact that ‘he’s not trying his best’. it’s notable that todoroki is never considered to be some freak of nature genius in the same way other characters, he’s impressive but there are stronger. but for some reason, his superiority over yaomomo is pivotal to her character. she doubts her own decision making skills compared to his due to losing so badly at the sports festival against fumikage.

now lets see here: this fucking emotionally constipated idiot who is noted in writing to not using his full potential since he has no motivation to actually win, handicapping his own abilities for most of the time due to crippling personal issues, who ALSO completely jobbed at the festival and gave up at the last match against bakugou and suffered a humiliating defeat because he lacks shame and conviction and who ALSO got in on recommendations? todoroki is an interesting character in his own right, hes strong but his flaws are glaringly evident and interesting. but for some reason he gets elevated to this position of being yaomomo’s ‘wall’.

hes not a team player, yes hes notably perceptive but to position the realtionship between momo and him like this it feels like such a pointless angle to work in cause its so antithetical to yaomomos whole characterisation and contradicts her entire background for .. what? shes got such a strong natural-leader type personality or she is attempting to have one despite the author somehow forgetting. yes she’s nervous and panics sometimes, but i think her entire character arc is intended for her to overcome this as the main crux. there is no doubt that yaomomo is strong. she is excellent as a leader, works extremely well in a team, has a level head and every single time we see her the author always brings it back round to the fact she is an excellent strategist and everyone looks to her to make a tactical decision. almost like her entire character revolves around leadership and self-confidence.

but compared to how shes portrayed against a ‘tactician’ like midoriya for example you would literally never guess that about her unless they didnt spoonfeed it to you that yes, this character is supposed to be smart sorry we keep making her look inept despite her entire character skill and ability being completely and utterly centred around this main concept teehee.

even compared to yoarashi (who i love), who also got in on recommendations, she doesnt get the same level of merit in the fiction. shes never truly made out to be a big deal in the same way the others are which not only fucking blows but makes the story more and more of a grating power up treadmill like a classic shounen jump manga without any of the charm or love. interesting characters like yaomomo who have clear visions are easily pushed aside and their traits sidelined to put more emphasis on other characters.

plus when she does get to make a big decision the narrrative acts like ‘oh was it even the right choice?! did we even make it worse!???’ which would be an interesting introspection for the headstrong characters who jump straight into shit, a reprieve from the individual bullshittery they can pull off without consequence but even though we set this character up specifically to make the right tactical decision in a pinch were not even gonna give her that satisfaction of being a HERO in this situation in this hammy feel-good plot cause thats reserved for the cool main character. its truly fucking unbearable. in the next few panels the main big trio of strong characters are making thoughtless decisions left right and centre with no hesitation or comment from the narrative with no internal struggle but here we are .. at what should be the culmination of a character arc that just .. falls fucking flat. for one of the bigger characters in the supporting cast of the series.... man the writing is just so poor.

you could say that trying to set up some linear character development where ‘girl is strong > gets confidence shaken > confidence comes back’ struggle contrasting against her ojou-sama calm and secretly playful demeanour is meant to be interesting and give her depth but honestly its just played straight in the most truly boring way but its ok! todoroki said keep your chin up queen and shes fine now. hes gonna go save aizawa-sensei with no input, no plan and be a hero because being hero is just about being the main character! everyone else can fuck off. she really needed that validation since she most likely will not have her own achievements, being recognised by this moron is her progression as a character despite her own character arc being infinitely more interesting and nuanced.

i do not expect a lot from a shounen manga sir, i came in with middling expectations and to look at some cool art whilst i awkwardly practice my japanese and yet. here we fucking are. i keep reading this hoping we get some comeuppance or some result but man. i feel like bnha is actually one of the series i wont bother keeping up with at all. the practice was really good! dont get me wrong its a great light read but im honestly surprised at how skewed the actual story is compared to fanworks. i just wanted some easy jp practice but i became weirdly invested in this probably cause i have a huge bias with cool character designs and the anime production was so ambitious.

o yea and one other thing. with tsu, ochako and nejire being introduced as going on the hassaikai raid but then completely sidelined at the first boss, essentially being relegated to being the mob charas that fits the thematic needs of that one random villain character it was sooo fucking lame. it really felt like the midboss had more thematic weight than these three girls first big fight. they were truly only there to fit the ‘lust’ theme they couldve been replaced by anyone else with tits.

in that arc too, midoriya definitely stepped on my toes the most since he took up moments that i thought would be more meaningful and appropriate with the other dot-eye dude that fell compleltey flat with him, got to use possibly the coolest fucking villain as a beatstick meter to show idk he had even more of a god mode i guess sometimes thanks to taking eri into battle instead of ykno relying on the other UA students and also giving them time to shine rather than interspersing flashbacks and shit before every meaningful fight to show ‘hey look how much this character has grown’ in the most cop out sort of storytelling. jirou i think at least gets some life written into her with meeting her parents and the ua school festival arc showing her talents and passion but shes barely utilised too and hagakure is a literal noncharacter her gag is barely even included half the time. mina gets some characterisation but even then its in the form of through another male character, kirishima, and in both instances its like the two are fighting for the spotlight of relavance which is a shame cause theyre both cooooooooooooool aaaaaaaa. every single girl character just feels like an ‘add-on’ or an afterthought, even moreso than the already forgotten secondary cast of which the most interesting dynamics and characters libe (denki and fumikage are cool!).

plus one gripe is that literally 5 separate girl characters have the same “oho they have to take their clothes off for their quirk to work ohooohgoho! so nautghty guess it cant be helped” and that just makes me like. you fucking suck at this bro just be horny with your whole chest making them have a flimsy embarassed half-excuse to be horny is lame. if you wanna make horny characters just fucking do it! enough of this stupid preamble you have to shoehorn in to every character every fucking time. just make it slutty and move on. there’s no need to be so annoyingly coy about it. also UA is the best most prestigious hero course and the girls who are going to become the top pro heroes go to their internship and its a fkn beauty commercial and its like. if they were at least building towards some commentary that female pro heroes are treated less seriously than their male counterparts like with mt.ladys flirting and her immediate paparazzi who takes pics of her ass, or to show that to become popular it means some level of corporate gameplaying and fanservice, it could be something but theres literally zero effort to comment or build on it at all its literally just presented as is and played straight. this is what it means to be a girl hero. that’s all. no comment.

i feel like miruko was a half-hearted attempt to remedy the lack of girl heroes that are actually strong and not bg props but its like it just feels like its been written as they go along with no overarching theme, nothing being built on or anything to say and it just feels so unsatisfying to read. characters that are introduced regularly get used at beatsticks to show how strong they are and get obliterated soon after to serve to show how cool and totally serious this new villain is ykno??? its so fucking tired a really classically shit kind of pointless circling narrative, like nothing truly has any weight to it and everything is meaningless before one for alls almighty relevance and power and whatever the plot needs has suddenly always existed lol dont worry bout it bro it was totally always there heres a star wars reference!

imo outside of the mangas art, the best thing about bnha is the anime adaptation with the exception of season4. the concept of having a long running shounen but giving it ample time, and a higher ambition in terms of production value and having a just absolutely fucking solid staff really make the first three seasons of bnha anime. naturally the voice acting and sound is anime standard gold but the production cant be understated it pulls so much of the slack. the direction and pacing of the first three seasons is honestly really well done, it feels like stuff builds up with ample time and we get much more focus on the background characters even in simple ways like introducing new group shots etc that give them much needed characterisation. one of my fave episodes is s3e3 which gives us a feeling of actual life and interaction as the kids train hard and get to spend an evening together having a bbq and its honestly full of just like group shots, framing in a way that really truly makes it a believable group of good kids trying their best at summer camp and gives almost everyone some much needed screentime.

one thing i noted as well is that the anime really likes to drive home important emotional points for certain characters through some great character acting - like yaoyorozus pivotal fight with fumikage is barely a passing glance in the manga whereas the anime really captures her desperation and panic as she tries her absolute best to react to the situation, not giving up even as shes overpowered only to realise in horror shes already lost. theres so much more weight and time given to this match and tbh its annoying that something that is meant to be so pivotal is barely glossed over in the manga since its so important to her future character motivations. it feels like when these moments and the strength of the supporting characters is lacking, the main story beats become more and more blatantly repetitive. some of the best parts of the arc are the bakugo rescue plan but were always served a fresh bland helping of izuku midoriya being the main character over utilising the strengths of other characters in this pivotal situation. it’s not like theres any fear of giving other characters ‘origin’ chapters and handing over the reigns away from midoriya it just for some reason, the author chooses not to really bother fleshing out characters who dont have immediate plot relavance or not the main three which makes the whole cast weaker.

imo even the anime is suffering from the source materials holes and its own slightly shoddy choices in direction with season 4 for some reason deciding to faithfully adapt the awful pacing of the overhaul arc and faithfully make it as dry as possible and devoting a solid 6 episodes to the frankly lame school festival arc despite it clearly suffering for time in the first half. it also includes my new least favourite trope of cutting the sound design completely to a slow vocal track along with the most eye wateringly boring fight pacing it was literally like. sir i want to skip this. you are going to make me watch this stupid fight with the dude whos character motivations got explained to me three seconds ago? with a new power up for green boy? with no sound design so theres even less weight to this whole fucking fight? and youre not even going to let me listen to you say run? how fucking dare you do this to me. the anime adaptation cannot stand on its own two legs with the source material alone. it needs strong direction to patch up the holes or stellar animation to distract me since without either its truly a weak weak show.

i know i already talked about it but really wish overhaul and his whole arc was handled better since i felt like it had promise. the wild shift in tone as i was reading was actually pretty surprising and the whole premise reminds me of how fucking nutty and exciting the yorknew city arc in hxh was for that series. the possibility of building how the actual underworld functions, which is tantalisingly never truly talked about in a world of cartoony heroes and villains was interesting and i was ready to see what organised crime with fucking superpowers could bring to the table plus all the new characters really looked damn cool. but overhaul himself, despite his fucking amazing intro and his title of no.2 in the underworld after all for one was in like 12 chapters and the arc literally served to introduce a plot device then fuck off with all its characters immediately having no impact at all and not even utilising the introduced concepts of the yakuza, organised crime and drugs in the age of quirks in any fuckin way. the majority of development came from fucking flashbacks literally seconds before a fight and they were scarce with anything interesting. like SIR WHAT A WASTE I HAD FINALLY FOUND MY GRIMMJOW AGAINST THESE UNSEXY LoV LOSERS WITH NO CHARISMA AND YET everyone keeps telling me that it was just a weak arc and the others are better. but having read them i think its just emblematic of the sort of writing style which prioritises having cool ‘moments’ for its beloved main character over a a cool interesting solid story that produces amazing moments and has the insane shounen payoff that you expect.

my closing thoughts are that its at least a solid manga to read whilst eating breakfast a solid 3/10 and probably higher if you like little broccoli boy and for some reason want him to win. which i dont. he has a terminal case of unlikable bland shounen mc syndrome and the worst thing is that he didnt used to be like that, he grew into it. his whole character is such a waste to me, turning him into the chosen special one with the greatest quirk is the most boring path possible for someone who had such a strong desire and conviction to be a hero. that we see building themselves up out of their own merit for most of the series and then suddenly giving him the power of more quirks fucking sucks. having such a ridiculous power and such a devastating payoff kept his fights interesting and i think the fight where eri allowed him to use it at full power with no drawbacks was such a fucking let down. there were better ways for him to grow other than idk more quirks cause hes special. and truly outside of attaining more power to become no.1 he has very little conflict in his character after someone else goes out of the way to instill confidence in him its also very annoying that repeatedly were shown how hard everyone works to get into ua, to become the heroes they want to be but its always dwarfed in comparison to izuku and the whole fucking scene with allmight at the end of the kamino incident being specifically for izuku, instead of a rallying cry that you are next, every one of you must struggle to become the hero that you want to be - to bear the weight of the symbol of peace is not for one persons shoulders alone like its a shame cause the series spends so much time hammering home how these kids are the best of the best, the ones who really truly want it but theyre not really treated with the same regard at all and their struggles and improvement are nowhere near on the monumental level of midoriya.

i feel like the narrative has all the makings of something interesting, but somehow fucking hilariously misses its own point. truly ripping apart the idea of becoming the greatest hero, the ‘symbol of peace’, that becoming a pillar isnt any way for a human to live and glorifying one persons sacrifice for all our sakes isnt right and that the true insiduous evil of hero society is that it makes us truly believe that people are painted in black and white rather than many shades of grey and forces people to take on things they shouldnt, allows certain powerful individuals to enforce their own wills on the world and robs everyday people, the powerless and weak of any agency of how their society works. it acts like heroism is an inherent trait only afforded by the strong and that being anything less than the ultimate hero is a failure even if it means doing awful tings, like throwing away your children giving them mental scars, leaving behind whole families in the name of heroism falling in the line of duty being seen as some great honour, leaving kids to wander the streets since doing necessary but painful things are for better equipped people, right? wash your hands of it and let a hero deal with it. honestly i just want to see a weak supporting characters heroism. that was the charm of early bnha. ive had enough of this blind thoughtless heroism thats presented as the correct one, for the chosen few. i want to see the struggle for it, insatiable longing that you cant help pushing you on, but most of all i want to see the hero you can be in ways that are meaningful but yours alone and taking back the world inch by inch from the common villainy of our society with one person at a time, reaching out to your hand no matter how scarred. to look your dreams in the face and turn your back on them. tearing down the sun, shattering it into a million pieces, but the small shards shine brighter and can be held in mortal hands. but nah izuku is going to be all might super cop 2 dont worry bout it guys. dw he’ll also choose some poor fucking kid to bear this burden after he becomes useless in battle and we can discard him as a person and simply keep him as an icon since the narrative keeps allowing the villains to have valid criticisms against society but always dismiss them since theyre villains you know and youre not meant to actually think about changing society despite your position of power, just enjoy being no.1 whilst your alive and rinse and repeat pog.

i think thats why i can easily see why bakugo and todoroki are so popular through the series as they do take a long time to get through their extremely shitty issues and they are genuinely shitty little teen psychopaths who are horrible fucking bastards. but they grow up and in really tangible gratifying ways. they seem to have as many setbacks as they do wins, constantly fucked over by their own hubris but still finding a way to power through despite it all trying to awkwardly form connections and become better people as well as better heroes and they can not do so on their own. their struggles are treated with gravity and they always acquire some kind of new strength in return but at a pace that doesnt put them miles ahead of their other classmates but definitely feels weighted and substantial to their development. todoroki gritting his teeth but slowly realising that he has a fucking ridiculous opportunity in his hands with endeavours agency and even inviting his friends is monumental in its own way, endeavour texting his son and his son texting back is like. it really does feel like something. its also interesting that as broccoli boy gets stronger he gets subsequently less and less likeable imo like ... sir you are NO shirou emiya. you do not have the range or the sheer trauma to be so dogged and blind in your ideals despite the world you occupy and everyone else around you. i was sold shirou emiya superhero manga with sexy juwabe sunichi teacher and only one of those thigns is true!!!

#damn you ren #yea i just finished now and my head is busting open with thoughts #probably an awful word vomit of opinions but like. i just finished reading it and im like sir why do i do this #i have this awful illness its called being a shounen manga fan

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mypondnow · 4 years

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thinking about how when i join a rp group i normally dont think about how my ocs interact with one another but then i join some funky lil elemental wizard school and go “hohoho fire one and fishy one ... Yes.... when theyre older they WILL hold hands and cuddle. absolutely...”

its all because of the background of a doodle with one oc im thinking bout it and im rambling bout it here cuz u cant stop me thats why i made this silly little blog

OK SO LIKE THE BACKSTORY ? WELL

this little doodle in the background not sure if you can tell exactly what it is or even see it since i made it so transparent but

its!!!!!! levees mom carvel!!!!!!!

in the corner of a beach photo!!! or whatever . baby atlas baby atlas . ft their mama . forgot her first name but her nicknames toastie. i think its laylah cuz i kno its starts with an l.. . alliteration... laylah lianne <3

ANYWAYS

thats what inspired me to start shipping 2 of my own damn ocs!!! i mostly only do that in writing when i think 2 of my characters have a neat bit o’ chemistry (freshman year i wrote a story where there were 2 love interests. one a man one a woman just to b like “YO!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHES BISEXUAL!!!!!!! LOOK AT MY MAIN CHARACTER!!!” literally all of my stories i write for a competition have some form of lgbt+ character)

so like after that im like “what if.... when theyre older.... levee becomes a photographer and atlas ends up a model like their mom? hahahahaha jk jk... unless?” it was also with that little bit of thinking i ended up making my character, cain, a transman so like. impulsive decisions that Just Feel Right king? me.

WHY do i think they get along well? OK!!!! here we go

they were childhood friends and are both ..... relatively nice. levee’s a memelord, kind of, just an overall polite jokester (another oc in this group of ocs, pluto, isn’t Too nice sometimes) and atlas is a bit Meaner.

trying to think of my characters who are in a relationship ok here we go

levee: i talk a lot, huh?

atlas: yes, but it’s nice. i like hearing your thoughts.

levee, 2 minutes later: grapes are easy to acquire and easy to eat

atlas: If you say anything else on this topic I am going to murder you.

thats just as a treat. i didnt think of any other characters because honestly? Yeah.

anyways personality-wise? well they blend pretty nicely. both of them can defend the other if needed though. atlas probably wouldnt need to be defended theyre pretty good at defending themself.

atlas isn’t even very high-tempered they just like causing problems on purpose. levee does as well at times but Who Doesn’t like causing problems on purpose.

levee’s just a bit more passive than atlas frankly. a little more nice. at least he didn’t bully someone named similarly to their mom’s nickname (atlas really went off and bullied a kid named toast huh. damn atlas </3)

!!!!!!!!!!!!! speaking of bullying toast

Atlas literally didn’t talk to levee at all during their school life . first of all they probably didn’t even kno levee went to the same school as them for a few years. second of all they were NOT the same little kid they were on the beach when the two met and hung out

i’d think they hung out either weekly or yearly. preferably weekly like just goin out on a drive to hang out !!! say “heyyyy levee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” heyy ms levees mom i mgoign to dcry hey lmxs nfshduygahij oeklw HEY MS LEVEES MOM AHOAIYGUSUFSDYHIJFODKSFD

carvel going “hey atlas’ mom” since shes like ‘my son calls her that im sure i can do that too’

thats because carvels a Mermaid and doesnt understand stuff like remembering people’s names. its ok me too carvel

it is 3:16 am. anyways feel free to ask me either in the ask box on this blog or my dms and i WILL bombard u with as much information as i can think of on the spot.

(fun fact i was considering having atlas have a crush on toast but then i thought of atlas and levee being together and i went ‘’OHOHOHO!!!!!! thats So much better” since atlas would never bully levee. they mostly bullied toast to feel even more powerful and in control of their world around them. it wasnt very justified or nice but they did have their reasons and they did try to get better and they Are successful in being somewhat nice)

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dvrkhclme-blog · 5 years

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✕ — wasn’t that raven darkholme wandering the streets of new york, 1973? civilians know them as mystique and see them as a villain. as far as i know, the one hundred and fifty+ year old stands with the x-men (sometimes), and are rumoured to be pretty deceptive & misanthropic. ( julianne moore / gender-fluid / typically she/her )

{ trigger warnings : mental illness, suicide, sexual abuse, drugs, terrorism, murder }

hey everyone, i’m sophia!! i’m trash and neglected the intros for all my babies soooo i’m finally getting to them now!! anyways, i’m super excited to be here at 1973hq & i hope we can all be good friends!! <3 sooo. more about my first baby aka my murder!baby under the cut

LEVEL 1: INTRODUCTORY INFORMATION ABOUT MY MYSTIQUE //

im not even gonna touch the mceu version of mystique ok thx therefore shes gonna be combination of comics mystique and a bunch of my own headcanons — soooo

LEVEL 2: SURFACE LEVEL MYSTIQUE — THE GOOD, THE BAD, THE UGLY //

( skip this part if youre familiar with the mcu its basically a shortened version of her bio )

the binch is oLD ok??/ old af. probably several centuries old. i’d say 200 years old at minimum but its never really been disclosed

don’t even get me started on wtf i think happened to her to fight just to survive at age 12 when her mutation kicked in bcus,,, yike

her entire life has been characterized by betrayals. whether it be mystique betraying someone else (most likely) or her being betrayed by someone else (in the case of destiny)

her n destiny met in the early 20th century. destiny asked her to help decode her prophecies and to stop the terrifying ones from being fulfilled. they fell in Luv. they are partners. gay ass partners. (the original idea for mystique n destiny was for nightcrawler to be their canon kid. via mystique in a males body. but this was retconned bcus of homophobia thx but i’d personally love this hc if we get a kurt & it’s ok w/ them anyway )

anyway after ww2 she met sabertooth n had her first (canonically recorded) kid, graydon. who. lo n behold, she abandoned.

that’ll be a trend, fyi, better watch out for that

but graydon turned out to be a mutant hating human so thats fun

then mystique from our time went back in time in attempt to assassinate graydon (which doesnt, in the end, work),,,, also fun

then she gets married to a wealthy german count,,, uses her power to start seducing other people, when she meets azael who manipulates and seduces her. has nightcrawler via azael ,, its cool

raven murdered her husband and was then regarded by her townsfolk n as a demon. she escaped but abandoned kurt,,, also cool

she adopts raven then. and actually genuinely loves her. (more on this in the next section)

she founds the 3rd version of the brotherhood n they do more terrorist shit good job mystique #magnetowasright

sike mystique betrayed magneto and turned him into the government, turned the brotherhood into the freedom force, n started working for the gov. working for freedom force is when destiny died and that triggered one of mystiques many breakdowns (also more on this below)

she was v depressed at this time and taken advantage of by the shadow king. raven let herself be brainwashed by the government into thinking she was her own government handler to take down the shadow king. didnt work. he torments her the rest of her life. yike.

she had nanotech put into her head so the government could force her to work for x-factor, while with them she finds out destiny during their partnership had other partners and kids she didnt know about and one was a mutant

graydon has this mutant savagely beaten. before mystique can kill graydon for this, hs followers kill him n turn him into a martyr. super fun. cue operation zero tolerance.

mystique went undercover as the senators wife for a while n used her connections to the fbi to do shadier shit

she then ran away and took some random chicks form and became a model and made a ton of cash — u go girl

except this kinda sucked for her because she moved into a penthouse suite which in the neighbouring building had skulls plotting to take down mankind. they framed her for a murder, her powers stopped working, n she was arrested

the government eased all her alternate identities and froze all her assets and access to the money she and destiny saved up for decades. cue another mental breakdown

then she finds out destiny was responsible for founding the anti-mutant conspiracy mystique spent her whole life trying to stop, and that destiny also didnt give medical attention to mutant kids who were deformed from their mutations

long story short she has an even worse breakdown n goes completely nihilistic, realizing she cant change the world for the better, she remakes the brotherhood and impersonates moira mctaggert to get her research on the legacy virus

a bunch more shit happens with raven ending up in the care of homeland security. xavier makes a deal with her and breaks her out. everyont thought she tried to kill xavier,,, when she didnt actually,,, because xaviers a shady fuck,,, but oh well. rogue disowns her for it. leads to another mental breakdown.

because of this she decides fuq u xavier and creates a mutant kid identity for herself known as foxx and joins the xmen to stop rogue and remy’s relationship

she helped the x-men during this time n also helped save rogue’s life via the messiah baby. but once again her intentions are misconstrued

she snaps again and impersonates bobby drake’s girlfriend & gets the poor boy hospitalized

norman osborn then recruited her to the dark x-men, injected her with nanites, then helped logans soul to hell, but then changed her mind and helped get him back. when he got back tho he uh. well. killed her. her and sabretooth were both resurrected by the hand (more on this later)

mystique then rejoined the brotherhood, impersonated alison, and took her place as mutant liaison for shield, harvesting her DNA to make MGH (mutant growth hormone)

LEVEL 2.5: MYSTIQUE’S PLACE IN THIS VERSE

i imagine she went back in time to 1973 under the guise of helping people & being “reformed” but in reality she was also doing shady mystique shit on the side and probably trying to tie up some loose ends, whether it be with graydon, the shadow king, destiny, or someone else. or probably a combination

anyways now shes staying w/ the x-men part time and playing Good Girl for now. she wants to show everyone that shes reformed n better n just wants to do things for the betterment of mutant kind. wants 2 get their trust too

shes pretty. level headed right now i’d say. betsy braddock helped her during one of her mental breakdowns by telepathically realigning her fragmented psyche — she’s still mystique n still awful but not as chaotic anymore. and less prone to attack rogue or other people aimlessly. it’s much more goal oriented now.

LEVEL 3: MYSTIQUES PSYCHE //

ok so she identifies as gender fluid bcus she shape shifts forms but also because i imagine shes so sick of having sexualized herself all these decades to get what she wants that shes just fed up with gender norms and thinks theyre bullshit. she’s fine to go by she/her pronouns but she doesnt really identify as a specific gender in my head

she drinks but mostly absinthe and only w/ people she trusts. along those lines it’s similar for drugs but she loves a good high and a good hallucination

she has bouts of psychosis that her wiki defines as schizophrenia. it manifests in much more anger and aggression. hallucinations. delusions — especially presecutory and grandiose delusions — lack of pleasure (hence the nihilism), social withdrawal, and poverty of speech. her sense of identity becomes so fractured that she cant keep herself consistently in one body without it taking all of her concentration — and sometimes that isn’t even enough. she gets lots of mood and cognitive changes during these episodes — and completely loses her sense of self

despite her grandiose ego she’s actually very self conscious and refuses to look in a mirror. actually she’s scared of her appearance. she cant look at herself normally in fear of seeing a monster look back

this is also the reason she was so easily deceived by azael. he looked like a monster, too, and embraced her for how she is. he didnt make her change to fit another appearance that couldve been “more beautiful”

lastly, her motives for doing things??? are always for the betterment of mutantkind. over time this got very skewed and her belief became that the only way for mutants to actually live is for all humans to die. shes a terrorist through and through, but she loves mutants. she just has a personal vendetta against the x-men that’s grown over the years — her constantly being betrayed by people during her episodes of psychosis and the x-men never actually believing the real story (but also like. why would they??? shes often so awful too)

shes attempted suicide canonically in the past. she loses control of herself. it’s also heavily implied she’s been assaulted in the past. anyways shes a sad baby too

— so thats about it for my murder baby! yike this got a lot longer than i expected it to but anyways i cant wait to write her with all of you!! <3

#「 classified. 」#﹠⋅ 。✗ ꜰɪʟᴇ. ⋮「 ── who am i? that is not a question easily answered. 」#73:intro

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rvmvns · 5 years

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skrrt skrrt it’s rrmert (death tw)

roman kim / 24 / he/him (cis male) / fire

family life

this kid has no siblings, two parents, lives alone in an underground home in barcelona because his parents were kicked out from their coven back home. as they should, they were shady demonic people. natalia and abel kim were, at one point, highly respected in their coven. they were almost confided with in anything and everything with the leader: u kno like regulating rules, rituals, new witches, etc etc. but until they conspired to kill the head and were sentenced to exile w / no powers ( v painful process ) but not without ANOTHER cost, they were not allowed to take their son. which is fckn dumb of them bc he could have learned to u kno , learn how to deal w his shit but nope, so they literally kidnapped roman, u kno why not it’s their son, natalia BIRTHED him and his pea sized head, and flew to barcelona and lived underground ever since

he was always homeschooled, he never understood why until you know one day things went up in flames haha.. haha this will be funny later, maybe not it’s messed up actually

he was never allowed to go outside the home they lived in, it was a town house on the outside, living under a non magical folks home which their parents bargained with and bada bing bada boom, but that didn’t stop him from sneaking out.

his elemental is fire, which easily pairs with the sun and he draws his energy from the big ball red giant in the sky but fire, is the main game, you think of fire and you think of destruction, warmth, consuming anything and everything in its path and in a way his power does match with his personality but we’ll get to that later need to explain why and how he murdered his parents

okay so, nat and abe are dumb as hell thinking roman wouldn’t start to lose his mind by his 10th birthday wondering why he has no friends, why he isn’t allowed to see anyone (he had a romance fling at 9, fell in love w a babe up the street and was mad he couldn't see her. pre teen stuff.) he wanted to essentially live a normal life, play with the other kids but nat and abe were scared he would be found or tracked or someone or SOMETHING would be lurking to take their son bc they violated rules and conspired to murder

so by his 12th birthday he decided he’d run away, why not. packed up his shit and left but he dumb as hell for not thinking his parents weren’t tracking him or had some tracking thing on him, they never wanted to lose him but hmm maybe shouldn't have decided to MURDER and KIDNAP

so there they were, finding roman in an alley trying to figure out where to go from there and they were pleading him with him to come home and just understand where they were coming from (oh this boy did not realize he was a witch ever, in his life) and he was getting angry to the point if u felt his hands you’d.. feel like you’d be scorched anyways,

his parents forget that just bc they don’t have their powers, doesn’t mean roman doesn’t, so out of anger.. pure anger, frustration and all that, he sets them on fire and watches them burn to death in front of him and not only that, the entire alley sets up in flames and little trash cans start exploding and a whole building catches fire bc his parents were running around screaming bloody murder and he literally just watched like what the FUCK is going ON stop burning!! he rly tried the whole pew pew w his hands

after they died, he literally stood there mortified and literally over their scorched bodies crying and using his hands like “please, please work. please.” and he was screaming crying that his stupid hands can make THAT happen maybe his parents can come back to life but nah.. theyre dead and his soul died right then and there

it was also when he was found by his coven through the outburst, all it had to take was one boop spurt of magique for them to go ok we found him ! and he was dragged back to their coven in vermont , leaving tht part of barcelona to burn and since then, through little explaining and training and eventual enrollment at blackwater he understood but he also hated his parents for never telling him bc a. coulda avoided involuntary murder. mans thinks bout that night all the time. horrible. HORRIBLE

personality and other stuff

he’s, annoying, like point blank he has a witty sense of humor that makes no sense and it’s literally only there to mask whatever shit he won’t deal with. he hates being a witch, he hates having powers to begin with and low key on the low no one knows he’s been reading up on books on how to get rid of it at blackwater but to no avail,

sometimes whenhe’s bored he’ll amuse himself with the pettiest spells against people, yeah does he get in trouble? sure, but in the end it gives him a good laugh and that’s enough for him anything to fill tht void in his chest

as a kid he used to be rly outgoing like from the times he snuck out, he was a charming little kid enough to make friends with the whole block back in spain but since his parents, discovering he’s got powers, he’s nothing, you can only get emotions out of this kid if you punch him

honestly, you could punch him and he’d be like we’ve all been through some shit u gotta try harder dude but ok , ow?

petty, really petty, he’s a sag for a reason, dude has an ego bigger than the sun, loves being right in his own sense like yeah he’ll see your point and then go mm wrong, i’m right.

flirts for fun and then when it gets serious like, to the point where hes like omg we’re about to FUCK no thanks, i’m still a virgin

ya he is, he rly is. vulnerability is not his strong suit he’s 24 and hates getting close to people (i mean this is malleable like the ppl he will find himself close w will also understand that he’s still distant) like being NAKED? letting u see my dick?! what NEXTS? sharing my traumas?! ok that would be great for maybe a one time plot where he got close to sex and then goes mm yeah .. gtg bye :)))))))))))

oh, as for visuals !! think of baekhyun from his blooming days mv that’s him, the blonde and all. i love blonde baek, and as for hair length, pretty long not rly well together, he dresses like he hasn’t grown out of his teen phase, w the vans and the ripped jeans and sweatshirts , i have a pinterest board for this but its like 4 pins.. JFKMDGG ok i think thats it

oh wait his familiar, it’s a python ! so once entering the academy he was introduced to this dragon, at first he was afraid but then he sort of understood that somehow there was symbolism bc thats another thing, he thinks theres symbolism in anything like a spoon falling? that must hold SOME symbol hes just fucking annoying anyways, he fell in love w the dragon who takes form of a python who now loves to hug him like hes being choked <3 thats how he knows his familiar rly loves him or maybe it wants to kill him he can never tell

OH I FORGOT TO ADD SOMETHING HE HAS SUCH AN INNOCENT FACE BUT HE’S NOT HE’S A BITCH

#about.#i added another bullet point ty for reading it got long sfioesdkmfh

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james-bucky-barnackle · 6 years

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random story

before anything: i just want to say sorry for not updating any of my fics, i have an explanation and i will post it as soon as im able, as for now thank you to everyone whos read it, reading it, and will read it!

Okay, back to my story. Went on tinder bc hello, then found this cute guy which felt like the male version of me. He felt really okay, and we didn't talk consistently, meaning: reply after reply. Which I honestly didn't mind, but of course it would've been okay if we both responded fast to each other's texts.

He asked me out and I haven't given him a date, because I'm very much slumped in work and school right now. I can't even have 3 hours to myself without being texted by my boss or my schoolmates. We talked on the phone and it was honestly fun, he's a real funny guy. And if you guys haven't been an avid reader of my personal blog, (which if u want to - is linked on my bio) I am such a huge flirt. Mostly because I've had my heart broken before, badly and some family issues I won't dive into this text post. But bottom line is, I'm the toughest girl you can imagine, or at least that's what I think. I never really let anyone in, even when I spend so much time with someone, it never really registers to me as anything.

So when this tinder guy put out a disclaimer about: Hey, I'm not the commitment type of person blablabla, I still want to continue flirting with you but not guarantee exclusivity. I laughed my pants off, honestly. Idk how tinder is on the other parts of the world, but in the Philippines, it's pretty much an automatic that anyone you meet there will ghost you in a few days or weeks if you're lucky to last that long. I mean, I have friends who met their boyfriends there, but it rarely really happens. So when this guy told me this, it sort of ruined the vibe for me. I know he was trying to be nice and put a disclaimer out, but I've been through so much that I basically invented ghosting (im not proud of it, but its true).

I joked and told him, if u want to leave u can honestly just ghost me, and I'd appreciate that. I felt our age gaps suddenly form. This is funny because I'm just one year older than him, but back in my day, there wasn't a Senior High school curriculum, we just had high school and that's it. He had two more years of that shit. I started college at 15 and am now soon going to graduate (thank God!) and he's a freshman now. With the age, there's not much of a difference, but with the emotional growth of having to be forced to mature at an early age made me feel older than him.

It was his fresh out of high school self that thought oh this might be cool to tell her, cos I don't want to hurt her, but it ended up just making things funny and petty. This was honestly me when he told me that

I was livid, and I get mean sometimes, but I just didn't HAHAHAHA IM SORRY FUCK. I just was like??? Just enjoy it while it lasts boo, you don't have to say anything. Just do you, mama's a big girl, for all I know, I could be the one to ghost him.

Ghosting is never a good thing, I want to let that out. But I just didn't like the fact that he even thought there was a need to tell me that. And now he pleaded for us to be normal again, and I'm like?

I don't want to be a bad person, but I told him I'd be free on Wednesday, and ladies - we bout to be what we in the PH call "TOTGA" or the one that got away. And I'm excited, I tbh really liked him, but the audacity. I'm bout to give him the best date of his life and make him regret he even bothered to say it.

ANY DATE IDEAS??? LMAO ILYALL

Post note: there's alot more that happened when he told me to like beware of me blablabla but it would take years to finish this post so... Sigh, boys who think theyre such fuckboys. I think this one falls into the category of the Nice Fuckboy (do look it up).

#update #personal #fuckboy problems #ask me #mawiwritesstuff #story time

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crispy-tamago · 7 years

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ongniel quidditch au

ok so my friend and i talk about hogwarts aus too much and i was yearning for a quidditch au and this happened sorry i got carried away lol

ok so daniel is 100% a gryffindor dun even fight me on this its Canon™

ong’s a gryffindor too, and is the keeper of the gryffindor quidditch team

here’s what happened lets go

quidditch season hasnt started but gryffindor are feeling the loss from last year because hufflepuff and ravenclaw were ON FIRE last year (where do they get those active first years,,,, we want sum of dat….)

seongwoo obv be feeling the determination theyRE GOING TO KILL IT!!! FROM THE BEGINNING!!! TO THE END!!! THE HOUSE CUP!!! IS GRYFFINDOR’S FOR THE TAKING!!!!

he also feeling the pressure because gryffindor are forgetting what it’s like to have a house cup win tbh

ok anyways

since he’s the keeper and everything he knows his team need to count on him yknow

he’s always extra early for team practices and spends all his free time practicing quidditch with some new teammate he persuaded one day (read: bribed)

prob went smthg like hey kiD!! HELP TOSS SOME QUAFFLES INTO THESE HOOPS FOR ME!!!

rip woojin lmfao ong’s always like lmao if thats u trying to score i might as well switch and play chaser instead

all in good fun he gives pointers to lil woojin on what to do to catch the keeper off guard

good practice for himself too

honestly though at some point woojin is prob thinking something like…. ong… shouldn’t u…. be studying…. for NEWTs…..

seongwoo : newts? haha what,,,,, are those ha,,,,ha,,, idk what ure talking bout

same

ok so one day after like 3 days of no sleep after trying to finish like 6 diff essays for all his subjects (don’t procrastinate friendos)

boi literally tired as fuck but still has the energy to drag his ass out to the quidditch pitch to practice

that saturday the slytherin and gryffindor captains scheduled a practice match to get into the groove of playing again before official matches starts

ofc he needs to show his best right off the bat

all his classmates tried to hold him back but his excuse was that he gotta train the newbie so he can do his best for the match

also secretly because it’s his last year he wants to show that it’s not been a waste and he’s become a very very reliable keeper and that gryffindor CAN win this year

so yes, he still goes to practice

remember boi on zero sleep and like 20 mins in woojin asks if he’s feeling okay since no sarcastic quips or anything

surprise surprise ong passes out but he like doesn’t go pancake because woojin manages to kind of stop him from doing so

still fucks up his wrist and ankle on landing though but he’s out of it and woojin is prob freaking tf out omg what am i gonna do ???

does the reasonable thing and sprints off to get madam pomfrey

hold your horses i know daniel hasnt come into this yet chill

ong has to stay in the hospital wing overnight bc of exhaustion but at least his wrist and ankle are okay right?

nah

he has to miss the practice match because his body isnt recovered enough for sports yet

he still goes to watch the match though

took a loooooot of convincing but madam pomfrey was finally like fine! bc he was being really loud and she wanted to shut him up hyahwhaghwhaha

when he gets to the pitch they had already begun playing and he sees kim donghan playing in his place and is reassured bc he was a natural even if he wasnt a regular

there’s other people from the two houses watching too

ta-daaa that’s when he meets daniel

daniel is an avid quidditch fanboy ok

always on top of quidditch news and never misses a game

this boy is the definition of House Pride he’s screaming the loudest and always gets hella hyped before matches

the type to walk up to people on the mornings of match day and tells them to cheer loudly for gryffindor to give them the support

gryffindor hasnt won a house cup in forever tbh but that doesnt phase him he just loves quidditch and is extremely passionate about the sport and his house so regardless of the result he will always remain their tru no.1 fan

about that practice match

lets be real we would all like to just sleep on saturday morning

daniel? practice match? give him the time and date and he’s there and prepared with snacks and drinks for the players he managed to get from the house elves what a considerate babu

he gets there extra early that morning because he knew there was a new first year playing and he wanted to cheer extra loud to give him confidence awwwwwawaw

but when he sees the team members arrive he notices

seongwoo isnt there?

that one fourth year boy is playing instead so he gets a little confused

seongwoo has never NOT played in any of their matches so he wondered why he wasn’t this time

he wasn’t even at the practice, even though everyone else on the team was

cue quidditch nerd daniel minutely freaking out lmao

he went through the possibilities in his head

team drama? detention? OVERSLEEPING??? decided to do a 180 and become studious???

WHAT HAPPENED THAT THEIR KEEPER ISN’T PLAYING

his brain was about to explode but he stops when he sees the familiar boy walk up to the top of the stands and get comfortable

he’s still really confused

why is he watching and not playing??

lmao the practice match started 5 mins ago but he’s too distracted bc he doesn’t know why THE ong seongwoo isnt participating in it

he debates going up to ask him about it

but like,,,, he never spoken to the dude before

what if he’s in a shit mood

screw it

abruptly gets up to go walk up to where ong is

prob trips on the way up, someone babyproof him

ong is so fixated on the match he doesn’t realise someone is standing next to him

when he does

“may i help u”

he recognizes him too

because like he’s always there at practices and is maybe a bit mad for quidditch

kind of endearing

daniel honestly prob gets caught off guard hayahahaHAHAHA

“just,,, wondering why you aren’t out there”

“eh, fucked up and slacked off with homework and now my body’s dealing with the consequences”

he cant help the frustration in his voice

daniel just kinda feels bad

bc he looks so,,, tired? and also kind of angry that he couldn’t play bc of his own carelessness

he’s always priding himself on being a reliable teammate but here he is missing matches smh

but he doesnt tell daniel that lol

“why are you sitting all the way up here? pretty sure you can get a better view from anywhere else”

ong prob jokingly says some shit like he cant let anyone else in his presence what a drama queen

he really likes the feel of the wind from high up

that’s why he plays quidditch, being up in the air just makes him feel free

anyways

daniel and him end up watching the rest of the match together

ong pointing out certain tendencies and habits his teammates have when playing

daniel pointing out how well the team work together and how he feels like this year is the year for gryffindor u feel

ong kind of just

“you really think so?”

bc why wouldnt he right

“it’s just that… gryffindor hasn’t won a house cup in a long time”

and tbh theyre all feeling it, no one says it though

just sucks that they KNOW theyre doing good but never seem to be able to come out on top

daniel looks at him like :O

YOU GOTTA BELIEVE MAN

“YALL BEEN PRACTICING YOUR ASSES OFF AND THAT NEW CHASER GOT SOME POTENTIAL AND WORKS SO SO WELL WITH THE OTHER TWO AND OUR BEATERS ARE BACK BETTER THAN EVER NOW THAT OWLS ARE OVER ALSO OUR SEEKER HAS ALWAYS BEEN AMAZING AND WE HAVE YOU!!!!! YOU!!!!! MR RELIABLE KEEPER ALWAYS THERE TO COOLLY STOP THE OTHER HOUSE FROM SCORING”

lmfao he gets flustered after that and just quickly tells him to get better soon and to have faith in his team and himself

he constantly checks in with ong after that though

can’t really forget about the look on ong’s face when he talked about missing the game, even if it was a simple practice match

something in him just told him that ong was feeling shit about what happened when he couldn’t play

so he just tries to send positive vibes his way lol cute

even if it’s just walking by him in the great hall at breakfast and calling out for him not to slack off in class

or not to push himself too hard in practice

he prob even watches the team practice regularly and calls out “you guys did well today! we’re gonna win this year!!!”

just…. postive ball of sunshine spreading positivity

ong always spends some time after practice to talk to daniel to get to know him

its the least he can do bc daniel’s been so supportive of the team

daniel just hopes the dude remembers to take care of himself better tbh dont we all

ong won’t admit like ever but he 100% looks forward to daniel’s encouragement in the morning pfft

(and also totally wants to get to know daniel more other than him being a massive quidditch fan lol)

since then he finds himself working a lot harder to keep up with his workload in class so he can be on top of his game for quidditch

prob looks around in the crowd for daniel at games tbh hahAHAHHDAHA

this boi confident for matches he brings his A game all the time

both of them prob think its sad that they only really became friends in ong’s last year but hey better late then never right

#wanna one #produce 101 #ong seongwoo #kang daniel #why the fuk is this so long omfg hahahdahdahj #im sorry i got carried away i needed to stay awake for medication #hogwarts au #quidditch #ongniel #wanna one scenarios #words

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singingpuddle · 6 years

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My commentary whilst watching Buzzfeedblue’s “The Captive Spirits Of Eastern State Penitentiary”

You would think I would have finished the Commentary on part 2 of “3 Horrifying Cases”. But no, so... here we are.

Warning:

1. I ship them, if you don’t that’s cool with me.

2. This post is super long

3. I long for the day I no longer have to cross out the boy in boyfriend when it comes to these two. this will be abundantly clear by the amount of times i do

4. After a little bit i will stop putting full names, so just know.

5.I recommend watching the video along with or before going through this post, because if you haven’t seen it you will be lost.

R=Ryan and S=Shane

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Me: I see you and your matching outfits.

R: We are not wearing matching outfits.

Me: From where im standing it seems like you are.

R: Well, we arent.

Me: We shall see...

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R: See, not matching.

Me: Okay, yeah. Shane... did you get a haircut just for this?

S: Maybe...

Me: and is that shirt... freshly ironed?

S: Maybe...

Me: Is this a... date?

S: May-

R: No.

Me: But I remember you saying you always wanted to go there.

R: Yeah and?

Me: I dont know man... Sounds like a date to me.

R: Its not.

Me & S: sure...

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(+1 for cinematography)

(+one for matching outfits)

R: THEY ARE NOT MATCHING OUTFITS.

S: You do realize she ids now doing it for the sole purpose of annoying you. Also our jackets do kinda match.

R: *Long suffering sigh*

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(+1 for cinematography)

(+1 for matching outfits)

R: I give up.

Me: Good, because im probab;ly going to be commenting on the matching Heterosexual Beige™ jackets alot.

R: Wait... if there Heterosexual Beige™ then how is it gay?

Me: I never said it was gay...

S: But it is gay... because theyre matching

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Me: Oh shit... Ass-Bat™ gon come for ya asses

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Me: Domesticity™

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Me: Ok... sound like a solid plan. Where did they fuck up?

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Me: ああ、そですか。

Me: So when they said solitude, the ment “total and utter isolation form the outside world” not “go in this cell and think about what youve done”.

Me: So that’s how they fucked up.

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Me: look my dude, I look ugly as shit when im at the gym, so this sounds nice.

R: Wait... this place sounds nice to you.

Me: Oh hell no. this place is shady as shit. I was just saying i hate people seeing me work out.

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Me: ... Rye...

R: What?

Me: You steal Shane's food?

S: Of course he does hes an asshole.

Me: Oh?

S: He is also my Ghoulfriend™ thus he belives he has the right to.

Me: You gave him the title, not me man.

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Me: Damn, I guess you could say they where... in the dark about everything.

R: *laughing* Oh, shut up.

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Me: Dango Bro.. you better only be putting murderers in there.

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Me: A++ boyfriending there my bro.

S: What did I do?

Me: Its not about what you have done yet, its about what i think your going to do.

S: That’s not fair.

Me: We’ll see.

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Me: As I was saying Shane, A++ boyfriending there my dude.

S: Come on Ari, Its solitary, thus you must experience it alone. Plus You know i’ll go in right after.

Me: and leave him alone in the creepy penitentiary. S: Yeah?

Me: *coughs* A++

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Me: Okay... Nah. Fuck dat shit. Who let this happen?

Me: Probably not in those exact words, or in a shitty Australian accent, but yeah.

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Me: Look at Ryan’s Totally hetero™ geeking over his boyfriend’s accent.

R: I’m not geeking.

Me: *looking Ryan right in the eyes* sure...

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Me: Kinky? Okay... this isnt fun anymore. Imma take a break form this sadistically depressing shit and watch Animatics for some Jux de Postion.

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Me: “ Sincerely, Me” from Dear Evan Hanson is a fucking Bop. (link here)

R: This is entirely off topic its not even the same video.

Me: Look, I need a break, you need a break, we all need a break. Plus my girlfriend got me into this stuff so... blame her.

S: Just let her do this, If People want to skip it they can.

R: Fine.

Me: Domesticity™

R: sHut uP

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Me: Okie dokie. Im back.

R: Then lets get this show on the road.

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Me: Idk what you say this is Jigsaw’s Orgin story.

R: But you’ve never even seen it.

Me: Fight me Bergara, I dare you.

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Me: Look at Shane’s Totally hetero™ geeking over his boyfriend’s Jigsaw impression.

S: Im not even gonna lie, It was kinda hot cool.

Me: You know hot and cool are antonyms right?

S: I didnt say hot.

Me: sure...

****************************************************************************************************

Me: What did I say Shane.

S: Ugh

Me: Welp, The Shookening™ begins.

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Me: Ryan, You’re doing that stupid thing that gets people in horror movies killed... Please Refrain.

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Me: Oh shit Rye Bread, You and Shanesquatch are really in the thick of it now

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Me: SHANE HEARD IT, WITH HIS OWN EARS. Boi... not that im not happy that your ghosty ventures are going well but... Leave before you die please.

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Me: Not to distract from the real topic here but, Shane.

S: Yeah.

Me: Might I say, you're looking mighty fine and kinda twinkish in this video.

S: Thanks.

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Me: ... Did Shane just get possesed?

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Me: Dont make fun of our brave boyo.

S: I wouldn't if it wasn't so goddamn easy.

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Me: Shane.

S: Yes?

Me: There is a thin line between the “I wanna suck your dick” look and the “fuck you talkin bout” look.

S: Yeah?

Me: You are right on that line right now.

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Me: I think Ghostie is done with your shit. Like he sounds like hes been thought this 100 to many times.

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R: TAKE A FUCKING SIP BABES, Its a ghost.

S: Nah, idk man.

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S: Crank it up baby!

Me: *starts thinking of the song twist and shout*

*starts thinking of the fan fiction twist and shout*

*having mild war flashbacks because i refused to finish it but know how it ends anyway*

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Me: This Ghost is done with your shit, he stabbed a dude, let him be.

(+1 for shane looking like a twink)

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Me: *Laughing my ass off* He is done with you. Just fuckin leave.

R: *Shook*

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R: *Finds buttons in creepy haunted place* Imma just press these because nothing bad can happen if i do.

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R: At this moment ou-

R: At this Moment our Audio recoder picked up- Wait

Me & R: *High-fiving viciously*

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Me: Ryan Stop teasing your boyfriend.

R: I would if it wasn't so goddamn easy.

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Me: Unpopular opinion but Al Capone has an adorably squishy looking face.

S: *Lauging* Now im just imagingin you walking up to Infamous Mobster Al Capone and squishing his cheeks

R: And Baby talking.

Me & S & R: *Indistinct baby talking*

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Me: *Still baby talking* Whos a busy wittle mob boss? You are, Oh yes you are.

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Me: Not to shabby, its at least moderately survivable.

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(+1 for Shane calling Ryan Baby again)

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Me: Capone said no man, No means no.

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Me: Ya’ll seem to not get the fact these ghosts are just through with your shit. Also its Al Capone, you don’t wanna fuck with him.

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R: *Shook*

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Me: Boi.. He aint a fuckin child, he understands you. Now go away.

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Me: Yo Al is pissed bro, leave

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Me: Booooiiii, leave.

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Me: Correction Al, darling, They are Hetrosexual Beige™. But Brown and white is a close enough answer for a ghost so, you win I guess.

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Me: The Shaniacs are fucking QUAKING.

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Me: They are gay as shit right Al.

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Me: Boi, i hear that sentence one more time in this fucking episode i’m flipping my shit.

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Me: You okay Rye?

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Me: The Glory Hole?

R: Nope just The Hole.

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Me: Shane, Its a eupamism. He wants your hole, or wants you in his hole... You get the idea.

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S: Its a hole, what else can you do except hop right in.

Me: Boi, that’s gay.

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Me: Come on Ry, you know you don’t want Shane's head to smash.

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Me: Look at him Squat, Look at him gooooooooooo.

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Me: Ryan “Worried Boyfriend” Bergara

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Me: He is trying to comfort you, don’t be an ass.

R: But its hard.

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Me: Are you Possessed? Because the way you’re standing is making me uneasy.

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Me: You have a Flashlight

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Me: your eyes look interesting in night vision.

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R: *Booping his way out this haunted ass shit*

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(+1 for cinematography)

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This long ass post brought to you by:

This

Link to video here

Link to Masterpost here

#buzzfeed #buzzfeedblue #buzzfeed unsolved #UNSOLVED MYSTERIES #ryan bergara #ryan x shane #shane madej #shyan

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years

Text

Ali & Carly

Ali: alright? Carly: yea Ali: you want any water, pain killers? Carly: k to both Ali: can have my headphones too if you can deal with my music taste Carly: you could sing to me tho Ali: i've got the pipes, yeah but not sure anyone else wants me belting over the racket Carly: idc about them Ali: yeah Ali: one of us gotta get home with a spotless record, tho Carly: You can't get in trouble for being loud Carly: Leesha knows that Ali: she just leads a charmed life 🍀 Carly: or 🔮 Ali: Didn't need no crystal ball to see through your plans, soz babe Carly: who does Ali: got further than you had any right Ali: poor woodfield on bog watch 'til dubo now Carly: ha Carly: gave her something to do Carly: but nobodys trying it again like Ali: reckon you're right Ali: no one got that kinda deathwish Carly: trying to kill me w a stare tho Carly: she loves it Ali: hmm Ali: less sure on that Carly: i am Carly: try it tho bitch Carly: feel 🕱 Ali: got until we get back Ali: that's when the real shit begins Ali: what're you gonna do carls Carly: idk idc Carly: theyre gonna do what they want Carly: & not like my ma & da will throw a fit Ali: sure? Ali: shame Ali: hoping your Da would move Drew on Carly: im not 12 now babe Carly: & he isn't a beautiful romany lad Carly: my ma will like the look of him i kno Ali: you're 14 Ali: still got a few more years of compulsorary giving a shit about you left Carly: yea Carly: but its no big Ali: you could get expelled Carly: nah Carly: didnt go anything cuz leesha had to speak up about it Ali: you blame her Carly: nah but its facts Carly: nothing happened Ali: I don't think that's how they see it Carly: k but Carly: idc Carly: forget it Ali: k but HOW Carly: what? Carly: dont worry about it babe k Carly: im not trying to Ali: I know you're trying to avoid a freakout but Ali: fucking hell Ali: why Carly: why what? Carly: whats your problem? Ali: only the same as yours Ali: not enjoying the chaos around us or the chaos waiting at home Carly: nah Carly: but worry about your sister Carly: this is nothing Ali: no it isn't Carly: just chatter Carly: weve heard it all before Ali: you're a we now yeah Carly: ha Carly: everyone on this coach has heard it & said it is what i mean Carly: dont be jealous babe Ali: Why would I be jealous? Carly: im only playing Carly: i kno youre not Ali: Whatever Carly: dont be mad at me Carly: be fun Ali: not feeling it Carly: baby come on Carly: why tho Ali: you actually need to ask? Carly: yea Carly: i havent done anything wrong Ali: it ain't about right or wrong Ali: it's still a mess and i'm over it Ali: that's all Carly: k Carly: but ive been a mess since we met & you cba about that before Ali: i didn't say you Ali: the situation Carly: theres no situation Carly: only sex that didnt even happen Ali: forget about it Carly: nah Carly: say what you wanna say Ali: okay, the fact he's fucking ruined this entire trip Ali: Ro had to go home Ali: and Laoise is taking the opportunity to cyberbully her about it as if she's not already fucked up enough from it Ali: and he's not even a little bit sorry that he just wasted the last 3 months of her life with his bullshit Carly: None of that's my bad Carly: be mad at him not me Ali: I am Ali: but I'm mad at you for not giving enough of a shit to not get dragged down in his crap either Carly: hes not dragging me anywhere but the bathroom Ali: bullshit Carly: nah Carly: youre making it something else Carly: its not Ali: the whole bus is slagging on you Ali: half of them wanna fight you Ali: and that's cos of this Ali: its not debateable its facts Carly: and what Carly: when dont they Ali: there was no need Carly: yea there was Ali: no worthwhile one then whatever Carly: worthwhile to me Ali: i really hope so Carly: wouldve been like Ali: i don't need to hear Carly: k Carly: be like that Ali: yeah i will Carly: why do you wanna fight w me? Ali: i don't Ali: you got your priorities i got mine Carly: but youre a priority you kno Ali: its alright Ali: let's leave this drama behind Carly: how tho Carly: youre still gonna be mad Ali: yeah but that is what it is Ali: nothing's going to change Ali: we'll both deal Carly: but Ali: idk Ali: idk what we do, if you think of something lemme know Carly: im sorry Ali: me too Carly: tell me what to do Carly: i wanna make you feel better Ali: I dunno, Carls Ali: its all already done Ali: not just you, all of us Carly: lets do something else Carly: go somewhere else Carly: whatever you want Ali: Oh, that reminds me Ali: Tommy's back, he asked if you wanna go out Carly: is it k w you if i come? Ali: yeah Carly: nah its weird Ali: no it isn't Ali: i don't wanna not see you Ali: fuck that Ali: its just this trip and him Carly: i only did it cuz he said hed hook me up when we got back Carly: i dont want him Ali: its alright Ali: you don't have to explain to me Carly: its not Carly: alright isnt how we feel you kno Ali: as far as this trip goes Ali: i'll take it, babe Carly: i shouldnt have come on it Ali: nah, don't say that Ali: apart from this shit Ali: it was good, right? Carly: but this shit happened cuz im not good Carly: my heads wrecked Ali: no Ali: it didn't Ali: yeah, you went there too but so did Laoise and it coulda been any girl Carly: she didnt fuck him for a hit tho Carly: why i gotta do that Ali: that hit of revenge Ali: worse reason, to be honest Carly: yea Carly: she is the worst we kno Ali: you're not bad Carly: im not an angel like you babe Ali: yeah you is Ali: can't fool me Carly: you cant stop being nice to me Ali: and what bitch Carly: youre meant to be mad Ali: i'm sick of it Ali: its not getting us anywhere so Carly: where you wanna get to baby Ali: better Carly: we'll start tonight Carly: out w your brother Ali: yeah Ali: fucking ray of ☀ that he is Carly: ha Carly: maybe ill find a nice girl at the club tho Carly: then youll be happy Ali: i don't wanna be that bitch about it Ali: just drew, babe, c'mon 😝 Ali: please tell me i ain't that bitch Carly: ha Carly: hes no worse than ronan tho Carly: to your sister k but not to me Ali: yeah and thinking 'bout how hard Ronan sucks made you cry the other day so Ali: 👀 Carly: dont Carly: he took your vs its so sad Carly: i wouldnt let goldie take mine nah Ali: I dunno what the fuck I was thinking Carly: youre too good Carly: you think everyone is Carly: 👼 Ali: nah Ali: I mean, he ain't the 😈 but he was bad enough for my purposes Ali: my stupid ass 🙄 Carly: nah you're too smart Carly: you knew what you were doing like Carly: been there had that fight w my ma Ali: the flashbacks not needed Ali: still got that 📢 in my ear Ali: though, probably gonna lay off a bit now Drew's showed Caleb up for the good boy he is Ali: awks Carly: its my turn Carly: thanks for turning up ma & da turn into his drama Carly: then turn away cuz nothing to see Ali: yours back home rn? Carly: nah but im sure theyll get the summons if the teachers kick off loud enough Ali: shit Ali: they gonna kill ya? Carly: theyll only be mad if their hol gets cut short but like they can go again when the teachers have had a word Carly: dont need a babysitter Ali: yeah, soz we can't come back we got free drinks here 'til next week so Carly: you kno Carly: gotta draw straws for which one shows up & who gets to keep the party going Ali: 1000 on ur dad showing up then Carly: yea Carly: plot twist my nan rocks up like it hasnt been years Carly: carly who bitch Ali: bitch same Ali: missing nan gang Ali: conspiracy, like Carly: i kno where she is but she not trying to kno us Carly: family fights like Carly: boring Ali: gurl, so much in common Ali: let tommo regale you with the fuckery Ali: other peeps drama always be more fun Ali: WELL Carly: hes such a gossipy bitch Carly: ill tell him about all this so he can have fun w Ali: beat u to the reveal honey but Ali: always more scandal I probably saved him from Carly: you been chatting about me Carly: aw Ali: yeah Ali: keep my slagging on the downlow Ali: wise up lads Carly: its k cuz youre creative Carly: its all slut, slag and whore w them Ali: truly Ali: switch it up Carly: drew did skank and he was wasted so its not hard Ali: 🤢 Ali: anything drew is capable of is basal Carly: wtf does that mean tho Carly: he calls me a bitch a lot like boy thats mine and my girl's thing k bye Ali: he talks a lotta shit for such a lil bitch boy himself Ali: yeah, back off Ali: ur not part of the gang Carly: he wants to be on you so bad that id feel bad but cant cuz yea hes a prick Ali: i can't Ali: why bitch Ali: like, i'm nice the rest of the time but like, no nicer to him than any other acquaintance Ali: and rn its clear i lowkey hate Carly: cos youre you Carly: who wouldnt want that Ali: 😽 Ali: always out here hyping me up boo Carly: yea i love you Ali: i love you too bitch Carly: serious tho Carly: im sorry Carly: i hate it when youre mad at me Ali: i swear i was never mad at you Ali: who could be mad at that lil face Ali: right teachers? 🤞 Carly: ha Carly: well they saw me making a seduction face like Carly: my bad Ali: don't act like you didn't love that too lads Carly: you kno Carly: youve seen it its good Ali: willing to write that review Carly: aww Carly: so sweet Carly: id give you top marks too baby Ali: you better 😒 Ali: don't be lying to me or yourself baby 😏 Carly: ha Carly: nah youre the best Carly: no lie Ali: 😳 Carly: so cute Ali: just trying make me have a huge head to drag my cute down Carly: nah you earned those props from me Carly: put a lot of work in Ali: no slacker 💪 Carly: facts Carly: lot of fun Ali: funsized Ali: that's my secret Carly: aw Carly: but were the same size tho Ali: exactly Ali: team pocket rocket Ali: get out giant boys Carly: your boy gotta stay cuz hes not i see you bitch Ali: 😎 Ali: you said yourself, i'm too smart Carly: 🖕 Ali: how tall is my brother Ali: forgot Ali: kick him out of his own partay how rude Carly: shit Carly: sorry boy Ali: can walk on his knees if he wanna hang Carly: or hands Carly: wtf would that make a difference nah Ali: nah babe Ali: that perfect form Ali: twat 😒😂 Carly: im too sober to have thoughts Carly: no scholarship to a fancy school for me Ali: don't be fooled, he only there 'cos he can twerk good 💅 Ali: #bitchmetoothefuck Carly: fuck why you worried about me getting expelled from here if thats what it takes to go there Carly: i got this Ali: you just gon leave me like that Ali: 😞 ok Carly: nah Carly: come w me baby Ali: running away to london Ali: heard worse plans Carly: you kno Carly: be fun Carly: we always have a good time running off together Ali: no lie Ali: maybe we can crash when he goes back early to get settled 'cos he's dramatic like that Ali: lots of fit boys, can't all be gay Carly: are they allowed to fuck Carly: or is it like footballers and shit Ali: Ooh Ali: we'll have to ask Ali: good pickup line, babe Carly: i'll ask your brother if hes getting any Ali: he'll die of embarrassment 💀 Carly: aw Carly: is he a virgin serious Ali: I think so Ali: he won't say obvs, withholding that ☕ so shady Carly: i'll ask Carly: find him a cutie to do the honors Ali: 🙈 Ali: he was feeling sorry for you but he gon' wanna square up now too Carly: yea? Carly: i need the practice if i gotta fight leesha again Ali: 😒 she better stay tf away if she knows what's good Ali: still, he used to being target practice Ali: he quick tho Carly: teach me those ballerina girl moves Carly: never went as a kid Ali: aww baby Ali: i did for the hottest of secs but Carly: bet your ma has pics im hitting her up Ali: yeah, she loves pissing herself @ me, the cow Ali: you can join now, or yoga with me, your fave 😉 Carly: nah Carly: got enough teachers on my case Carly: & bitchy girls Ali: 😱 Ali: i ain't that bad, rude Carly: never you my baby Carly: youre the only one who isnt Ali: bus full of bitches Ali: sounds like a song marlene would write Carly: pitch it to her Carly: or find her in the club Ali: maybe Ali: idk if she's got a girl rn Ali: we shall see Carly: me & her Carly: weird Carly: i'll ask her if shes feeling it Ali: oh lord Ali: can't play with her like a boy tho Ali: wifey'd up before you know it Carly: nah she scares me Carly: im a good wife tho Ali: you is Ali: but you wanna be? Carly: what? Ali: you don't wanna be no wifey Carly: not hers Ali: as long as not his either then we good Carly: ha Ali: 👀 Carly: what you saying w those beautiful eyes boo Ali: i see u and ur lack of a response is what i'm sayin Ali: honeyyyy Carly: dont Carly: i said about him before thats it Ali: i'm just playing Carly: dont Carly: he thinks it too Carly: such a prick Ali: i'm soz baby Ali: he thinks everyone loves him as much as he does Carly: yea Carly: i need to find a new dealer Ali: honey, in this town? done is done Ali: find one tonight Carly: so smart

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pinkhoodiemark · 7 years

Text

70 QUESTIONS

tagged by @sho-ho-hownu ! [Ily more mutuals <33]

1. do you have a good relationship with your parents? Yes. Sometimes it’s rough but you know everyone has that. I’m closer to my mom’s bf more than my actual father, but im just now getting reconnected with my actual dad and it’s going ok i guess

2. who did you last say “i love you” to? probably my mom? It was like she said “I love you” and I said “love you too” does that count.

3. do you regret anything? Yes. I cant think of anything specific but i just know that i do...

4. are you insecure? HA YEAH ALMOST ALWAYS WHEN IM OUT OF MY HOUSE.

5. what’s your relationship status? Single afff Ready to mingle (?)

6. how do you want to die? epically B) idk tbh tho

7. what did you last eat? Omurice. It’s like friedrice with ketchup with an omelette over it. It’s japanese idk how to explain it well lol

8. played any sports? Idid Ballet as a toddler (like until 5 years old). From 7-14 years old I did gymnastics and I was on the “Junior Olympics” team which i dont think means anything but it sounds cool

9. do you bite your nails? nahh. I never understood that really

10. when was your last physical fight? I’m lazy. Not a fighter. But i shoved this bitch in middleschool because she confronted me about me tlking shit about her talking shit about me??

11. do you like someone?

Other than those 7 dorks? Nope. Thank god

12. have you ever stayed up 48 hours? Yes. It was partytime

13. do you hate anyone at the moment? No, I try not to hate. Unless theyre asshole racists, sexist, and/or hateful themselves.

14. do you miss someone? Family in Japan <3

15. have any pets? a tool named Phichit (or Peaches) that is my Betafish. (stop i know it’s a Yuri On Ice name. I. Know...) . I know he only likes me for the food i give him. Rude.

16. how exactly are you feeling at the moment? okay. it was bad like 2 minutes ago because of an assignment but now im watching Mystery Science Theater 3000 and its funny af

17. ever made out in the bathroom? Had to think bout it for a sec but nope

18. are you scared of spiders? Not like SCARED but i’d rather not them be on me tho..

19. would you go back in time if you were given the chance? Without the butterfly effect happening? Then sure

20. where was the last place you snogged someone? I had to look up what this was omfg. Maybe like a year ago. I’ve been single for a whileeee.

21. what are your plans for this weekend? I’m meeting up with my dad to watch the last few episodes of walking dead on Saturday. Studying for my Japanese final.

22. do you want to have kids? how many? Kinda, At most 2. But Im like 19 years old so its weird to think about...

23. do you have piercings? how many? Nooo

24. what is/are/were your best subject(s)? was Math now probably none of them loll #artmajor

25. do you miss anyone from your past? not really? There’s this one guy that was fun to hang with and I liked him for a loooong time and i still think about him sometimes lolll DontDoThat

26. what are you craving right now? a good nights rest

27. have you ever broken someone’s heart? I mean ive broken up with people but i dont think I like shattered their heart. I’m not THAT important omg

28. have you ever been cheated on? Nope. Hopefully never will?

29. have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? Yep, but he was mentally fucking craZY SO

30. what’s irritating you right now? Tumblr in incognito mode is slow af for some reason (I needed it to log in to my other tumblr without logging off this one)

31. does somebody love you? Family probably ha

32. what is your favourite color? Green

33. do you have trust issues? not really. I mean everyone should have some sort of trust issues. But i dont have severe trust issues.

34. who/what was your last dream about? I was listening to Departure album when I fell asleep, so I dreamt i was at a got7 concert lmao

35. who was the last person you cried in front of? I dont cry a lot tbh. So i dont remember. When I do cry I dont like people seeing.

36. do you give out second chances too easily? HA NOPE. They gotta work for a second chance

37. is it easier to forgive or forget? Depends. If it’s not that big of a deal then forget. I hate confrontation but i need an apology if its something bigger.

38. is this year the best year of your life? Noooooooooo, but we’re only like a quarter through so it could change. But im not too hopeful about those chances tbh

39. how old were you when you had your first kiss? kiss that didnt matter (pocky/pepero game lol): 14 Kiss that mattered: 16

40. have you ever walked outside completely naked? wtf no.

51. favourite food? Too many to narrow down to one but i crave toast a lot

52. do you believe everything happens for a reason? yeah, I’d like to think so.

53. what is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? Watched a horrible movie

54. is cheating ever okay? Who would think it is??? Even as “revenge” that’s low

55. are you mean? Dude, I’m a bitch tbh...

56. how many people have you fist fought? 1

57. do you believe in true love? i guess. If I didn’t then what would be the point of relationships?

58. favourite weather? Suns hot but cool breeze or light rain

59. do you like the snow? Yeah, but i could go without it...

60. do you wanna get married? Eh.

61. is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? I’d cringe.

62. what makes you happy? dogs, cats, other peoples genuine smiles, got7

63. would you change your name? I like my name

64. would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? Who was the last person i kissed? So probably no...

65. your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? Assuming im not interested. Id just ignore it. If he confesses Id be like sorry bro.

66. do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? I did. But he’s kind of out of my circle now that college started.

67. who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? Mom’s boyf. Jose. He’s cool. Been in most of my life so not like a random Mom boyf

68. who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? My sister. We were talking about why people just constantly feel the need to hate. Even if it’s something like (for example) “I HATE One Direction” Like do you honestly “hate” one direction. Or did you see that other people “hates” one direction so you said that. Like what did One Direction do for you to just HATE them... Like I dont like them or dislike them but I could never say that i HATE them. I dont even know them... anyway that discussion gets me heated

69. do you believe in soulmates? Kinda

70. is there anyone you would die for? Yeah. Like family and junk

Tagging @peachyjyp @husbandsjjp @soulmatesjjp @got7arrived @ult2jae ya dont gotta

#this took me a while lol #thanks for tagging me #my pretty mutual #<3 #tag game #not7

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radiohorizon · 7 years

Text

38 years later

200 things you can put in my ask 200: My crush’s name is: Lacey😛😍 199: I was born in: 1999 198: I am really: short, tired, sarcastic, idk?? 197: My cellphone company is: verizon 196: My eye color is: blue/grey 195: My shoe size is: 3 in kids, 5 in womens 194: My ring size is: i have no idea, probably small but not too small cause i got far fingers 193: My height is: 5'1 192: I am allergic to: sulfa drugs and grass 191: My 1st car was: dont have one 190: My 1st job was: waitress at a local restaurant  189: Last book you read: King Lear in school but Clockwork Princess for fun 188: My bed is: my favorite and super comfy and my best friend literally comes over just to nap in it 187: My pet: 2 cats, 1 dog 186: My best friend: Andrew, Elizabeth, Abby, Katie, Kristy, Annabelle, Kyle, Hailey, Stevie, Bea 185: My favorite shampoo is: Suave Ocean 184: Xbox or ps3: xbox 183: Piggy banks are: idrc about them?? 182: In my pockets: dont have pockeys rn 181: On my calendar: nothings 180: Marriage is: in my future 179: Spongebob can: idrc cause idc 178: My mom: is my favorite person 177: The last three songs I bought were? Wasted youth by fletcher In too deep by the sweeplings Is there somewhere by halsey 176: Last YouTube video watched: “50 things about me” by Nina Jablonska 175: How many cousins do you have? A shit ton 174: Do you have any siblings? 1 sister and 1 brother that ive never met 173: Are your parents divorced? No and i never see them getting divorced. Theyre honestly the only reason i still believe in love 172: Are you taller than your mom? We’re the same height actually 171: Do you play an instrument? Nope 170: What did you do yesterday? Went to school, studied, talked to Lacey, went to sleep

[ I Believe In ] 169: Love at first sight: i dunno 168: Luck: yes 167: Fate: yes 166: Yourself: lmao no 165: Aliens: yes 164: Heaven: i think 163: Hell: yes 162: God: i believe in something 161: Horoscopes: im not sure 160: Soul mates: yes 159: Ghosts: yes 158: Gay Marriage: duh 157: War: i dont really know 156: Orbs: yes 155: Magic: yes

[ This or That ] 154: Hugs or Kisses: hugs 153: Drunk or High: high 152: Phone or Online: depends 151: Red heads or Black haired: dont care 150: Blondes or Brunettes: dont care 149: Hot or cold: cold 148: Summer or winter: summer 147: Autumn or Spring: autumn 146: Chocolate or vanilla: depends because i love chocolate but it gives me headaches 145: Night or Day: night 144: Oranges or Apples: oranges 143: Curly or Straight hair: honestly dont care 142: McDonalds or Burger King: burger king for burgers, mcdonalds for snack wrap 141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: milk chocolate 140: Mac or PC: PC 139: Flip flops or high heals: depends 138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: sweet and poor 137: Coke or Pepsi: coke 136: Hillary or Obama: OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA  135: Burried or cremated: buried in the cemetery up the road from where i live 134: Singing or Dancing: dancing 133: Coach or Chanel: dont care 132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: who are they? 131: Small town or Big city: small town 130: Wal-Mart or Target: how bout kohls 129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: adam Sandler 128: Manicure or Pedicure: manicure because im reallllly ticklish on my feet and i end up flinching the whole time 127: East Coast or West Coast: only ever been on the east coast so idrk 126: Your Birthday or Christmas: christmas 125: Chocolate or Flowers: chocolate 124: Disney or Six Flags: disney!!! 123: Yankees or Red Sox: how bout Orioles

[ Here’s What I Think About ] 122: War: i respect the people fighting for our country and for others, but i wish everyone could just stop killing eachother 121: George Bush: gross 120: Gay Marriage: Gaaaaayyyyyy 119: The presidential election: grosser 118: Abortion: no judgement on whether or not someone decides to get one. Personally i dont think i could, but will always vote pro choice 117: MySpace: never had one so idk 116: Reality TV: can be entertaining but usually really dumb 115: Parents: i love them more than anything 114: Back stabbers: fuck you 113: Ebay: sketchy 112: Facebook: people are annoying and i hate that i live in hick central 111: Work: dont have ajob but am trying to get one 110: My Neighbors: since 3 of my best friends are my neighbors, i guess theyre alright 109: Gas Prices: way too fucking high 108: Designer Clothes: dont care about them UNLESS its converse because thats my shit right there 107: College: start it in 5 months :( 106: Sports: love em but suck at em 105: My family: my rock and support, but they piss me off a lot 104: The future: scares the fuck out of me

[ Last time I ] 103: Hugged someone: a few ninutes ago 102: Last time you ate: few hours ago 101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: about 2-3 weeks ago at the gym 100: Cried in front of someone: a few weeks ago i cried in front of abby because i found out kelsey has a girlfriend 99: Went to a movie theater: two weekends ago and saw Get Out and holy shit its good 98: Took a vacation: 2-3 years ago 97: Swam in a pool: 2 years ago i think 96: Changed a diaper: never 95: Got my nails done: little over a month ago 94: Went to a wedding: last summer 93: Broke a bone: never 92: Got a peircing: last spring 91: Broke the law: never i think? 90: Texted: about 2 seconds ago i texted Lacey

[ MISC ] 89: Who makes you laugh the most: My lunch table 88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: my cats and my moms hugs 87: The last movie I saw: i saw get out in theaters but watched thunderbirds for the millionth time in art so im a happy camper 86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: getting the fuck away from this place and these memories 85: The thing im not looking forward to: graduating, starting college, moving away, leaving my friends, leaving my animals, growing up, the list could go on forever 84: People call me: elizabeth, beth, bethany, lizzy, liz, bethyboo, bethers, bethy, 83: The most difficult thing to do is: move on and let go 82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: nope 81: My zodiac sign is: pisces 80: The first person i talked to today was: lacey or bea idrk 79: First time you had a crush: kindergarten 78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: no one, im pretty good with keeping a good face on 77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: i have no idea 76: Right now I am talking to: Lace💜👑 75: What are you going to do when you grow up: homicide detective or BAU 74: I have/will get a job: soon hopefully 73: Tomorrow: school, test, paint, facetime this beautiful girl, sleep 72: Today: school, test, painted, studied 71: Next Summer: senior weeek🤙🏻 and hopefully just simple hangouts with friends 70: Next Weekend: Stevenson university visit 69: I have these pets: 2 cats (sadie and ziva) and 1 dog (westen oliver) 68: The worst sound in the world: hearing people chew or breathe hard 67: The person that makes me cry the most is: my ex 66: People that make you happy: my friends and parents 65: Last time I cried: last night 64: My friends are: the only reason im alive 63: My computer is: a Windows something 62: My School: sucks 61: My Car: doesnt exist 60: I lose all respect for people who: judge others with no reason and refuse to be nice 59: The movie I cried at was: if I stay and hunger games trilogy 58: Your hair color is: dirty blonde/ light brown 57: TV shows you watch: criminal minds, shameless, the 100, friends, the fosters, lie to me, NCIS, scooby doo 56: Favorite web site: tumblr  55: Your dream vacation: a lake house 54: The worst pain I was ever in was: recovery after my heart surgery and when they had to take out my chest tubes 53: How do you like your steak cooked: medium 52: My room is: messy but my favorite place 51: My favorite celebrity is: jennifer lawrence or ryan Reynolds or josh hucherson or Noel Fisher 50: Where would you like to be: childhood 49: Do you want children: yes 48: Ever been in love: ye 47: Who’s your best friend: the twins, fergs, abby, rat pack, stevie, hailey, bea 46: More guy friends or girl friends: girl friends 45: One thing that makes you feel great is: gaining more flexibility 44: One person that you wish you could see right now: jarred 43: Do you have a 5 year plan: not really 42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: sorta 41: Have you pre-named your children: yepp. Daesin, Fiona, tegan and ryan 40: Last person I got mad at: my dad 39: I would like to move to: maryland or deleware 38: I wish I was a professional: dancer

[ My Favorites ] 37: Candy: gummy bears and kit kats or smarties 36: Vehicle: jeep Cherokee  35: President: OBAMA 34: State visited: Florida 33: Cellphone provider: dunno 32: Athlete: Misty Copeland 31: Actor: Ryan Reynolds and Noel Fisher 30: Actress: Jennifer Lawrence 29: Singer: Amy Lee 28: Band: Evanescence 27: Clothing store: KOHLS 26: Grocery store: giant 25: TV show: shameless 24: Movie: thunderbirds or chitty chitty bang bang 23: Website: tumblr 22: Animal: monkey 21: Theme park: disney 20: Holiday: halloween 19: Sport to watch: allstar cheerleading or soccer 18: Sport to play: soccer 17: Magazine: dont have one but if i did i guess people? 16: Book: WAYYY too many 15: Day of the week: wednesday 14: Beach: bethany beach 13: Concert attended: evanescence even tho i couldnt see shit 12: Thing to cook: grilled cheese 11: Food: cheeseburger 10: Restaurant: green turtle 9: Radio station: 106.5 8: Yankee candle scent: i dunno 7: Perfume: hollister or ed hardy 6: Flower: rose 5: Color: purple 4: Talk show host: my girl ellen 3: Comedian: john Maloney, kevin heart, illiza shelshinger  2: Dog breed: golden retriever  1: Did you answer all these truthfully? Yeppers

#asks #asks answers #💜👑

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mjeoppa · 7 years

Text

a story i told my friends

it’s long so. also contains malay words, if need translation dont use google, ask me. Quick summary: im actually happy (???questionable) but its all rather bittersweet

Maybe a quick intro to the characters of the drama

Me:awkward but living Raja: someone i kinda grew close through wanting to go to the same places together, a smart girl who's understanding and talks a lot, went to an agama school so she has that conservative part of her Afiq: a guy who lives in my neighborhood who's like probably the good samaritan of our malaysian organization, hobbies include playing video games, watching anime and cooking Hakim: afiq's housemate, doesnt really talk to people much but likes to get involved, hobbies include creating short films

So, i met all 3 separately; raja, since she's in my batch, earlier on, in fact she actually flew to michigan with me halfway, then we had different flights. Afiq i met when he came over to my house once, then later he came by bc my housemates said he could help me put my table together, and even then we were chatting comfortably. Hakim i met on a bus home after orientation, and i recognized him immediately; the guys from damansara i saw in the malaysian organization yearbook. But i didnt say anything bc how would i know he's malaysian lol

So after awhile i became friends w raja and afiq, progressing quite well in the friendship statuses, both of them having common interests w me. Then i found out that they were close w each other too. By the end of the semester, it was pretty obvious that afiq has a thing for raja, by the way he treats her.

Hakim on the other hand i kept having accidental meet ups w on the bus, n i could only officially say i know him after the first mso (malaysian student organization) meeting, but after that i didnt have a chance to say a thing to him. But after that meeting, i could also officially say that i have a crush on this guy. Afiq had talked about him, my friend's housemate talked about him, n from what i learned this guy has a weird charm where he does the most unexpected things, or maybe bc hes so quiet no one really knows what hes thinking

Im close to one of my housemates (who has graduated last semester), kak tipah whom i confessed i have a thing for hakim, and she told me that he has a girlfriend 🙃this was rather early in the semester, so i ended up shuffling crushes a lot throughout, but ofc hakim was still my first crush, also my first heartbreak in michigan

Another one of my housemates, kak su, recruited me to join her for her winter break trip, and when she asked whom i think would wanna join, i suggested raja. Another person who was already in on the plan w kak su was a guy named mirza. At this point i knew nothing about him. There was a phase where i would continuously confirm w my housemates whom mirza is through pictures until i could officially recognize him myself

It was thanksgiving, or maybe a few days before when mirza finally confirmed that the fifth and final member of our trip is hakim (jeng jeng jeng). I was happy, but i had to remain calm. He has a girlfriend, after all.

Okay so winter trip. That was so freaking fun. Funny thing is that we were 5 random people w different backgrounds, and yet we managed to make it work. It was awkward in the beginning, but later we learned how each other worked and after a few forum sessions we were more open w each other. Yes i did get to know hakim, but i also got to know so much more about raja, and mirza is a person that i didnt expect when i first came here to be someone that would be cool w being friends w me.

The ridiculous thing is that it was very early in the trip that we established that both kak su and hakim werent available. I didnt know when it started, but hakim started to talk more, and i liked that he didnt mind sitting around me, he was comfortable w stuff like giving me food he couldnt finish and asking what i wanted to order (dinner is usually the time we could talk, otherwise we'd be in the car and we cant really have a one on one conversation)

Raja on the other hand couldnt stop talking

She asked weird questions, and at first it was just to me, but later i fell asleep a lot so she started asking mirza, and so it became a thing that when theyre bored they would be listening to raja's epiphanies about life

Somewhere in between the first and second week of the trip i was texting afiq a lot n he said "aku susah nak rapat dengan perempuan" so to prove to him how bad i am at making friends w guys i told him that he's the closest guy friend i ever had, so ever since that i guess we had this agreement that we were somewhat close friends and we can kinda tell each other stuff

And believe me, i tell afiq stuff i dont even tell raja

So anyway at first i was kinda happy, and we had fun talking bout stuff, but later i saw that he was chatting w raja, so i felt a bit suckish bc he said he was bad at making friends w girls, so was he just saying it for the sake of it?

So there was a time where we were staying at separate houses, the girls and boys, so we decided to go out to eat, and there wasnt anything else to do in tulsa anyway, so we sat and ate and talked for 3 hours. So i asked mirza when did he finally recognized me as "elyna" and he said actually the first time he heard of me was from afiq who told him that i knew a bunch of animes, and yea actually this was before i told him hes my closest guy friend but i just realized that this was when hakim started to talk to me more than usual

Hmm there were times when he says stuff that i was thinking, n i think i say stuff that hes thinking as well bc when it happens he kinda glanced at me weirdly in the beginning, later when weve talked to each other more we finally say things like "hey i was about to say the same thing" or something like that. Example: we were eating at a thai restaurant n the menu was kinda simple, and i was thinking to myself "ape lagi. Pad thai jela." Then mirza asked hakim what he was gonna order, and he literally said the exact same thing i was thinking. Once mirza asked for an extra bowl of rice (also a thai restaurant, but this was a lot later) and he was saying "mahal doh, 2 ringgit" then hakim asked "brape?" "2 ringgit" then i glanced at him and he glanced at me and i said "murah gak tu. 2 ringgit kalau dollar 50cent." Then we laughed and he said he was about to say the same thing.

Theres this thing during dinners that he does, starting from this gyro place, where he would want me to sit somewhere near him, like either across or next to him, probably so that he can crack jokes w me, but after awhile we ran out of things to say. So sometimes we kinda order similar things just bc. Im not sure. Sometimes he follows my lead, sometimes i follow his, then when what i wanna order is too far from what he wants he just orders wtv he wants. I guess later he realizes that im really bad at first orders haha my food always turns out not that good a dish.

Okay so if i go on and on about the trip this story will never end. Basically we had fun, for a bunch of awkwardly matched 5-some. Raja really liked opening forums and asked weird questions and one of em was what were their first thoughts of us, and hakim said that i came to his house several times to play video games so he thought he'd have that to talk about w me. Raja, he said talked way too much for his liking in the beginning, he said he would like his peace lmao. Both of them knew kak su beforehand so they didnt really think of anything. Thing is, raja actually felt hurt at hakim's comment, even tho it was evident that even if he didnt like all her talking, he wouldnt actually stop her from talking. Except there was a time we wanted to play a game in the car n he said "jom main game senyap, siape paling lama diam die menang" n we all laughed n we asked whats the prize n he said that person can get to talk for an hour n kak su said lets let hakim win so that he has to talk for an hour. I take too much time explaining details ugh.

So for the next day after that confession by hakim raja didnt talk to hakim at all. She literally asked everyone what their glasses power were except hakim. I laughed at him quietly in sympathy. But later she was okay w him again. Just that whenever he talked to her she would complain to me.

She also complained that hakim took a long time to follow raja back on instagram but for me it was on the same night. I said it was bc i followed him when i saw that he was on ig, but she said she saw him going on ig after she requested to follow him but he hadnt approved.

Also both raja and kak su knows i like hakim since before the trip.

It was in new orleans that i really felt like he was making me expect too much from him. He wanted to buy a hot dog for himself, but kak su n raja were sharing, n i didnt want one whole hot dog, so he ended up sharing w me, n he even followed me to the counter when i ordered, n it really made me happy, my heart was bursting, thats the only way i can explain it.

So after that everything was rather mediocre. I theorized a pattern in his ig picture liking in which he would like pictures i post that did not include myself in it, except one. After we got home i kinda felt that feeling of "so thats it?"

But it wasnt. My housemates were saying i couldnt move on, but it really wasnt something to move on from. 3 weeks of just them gave me a lifetime of memories. So when I went out w raja on the sunday before classes start, i guess i shouldnt have been surprised whem raja confessed that she has a crush on mirza.

She went on and on about how they had been talking ever since the morning after we arrived home, and all i could talk about was how i felt like hakim treated me like something more than just another girl, n raja said she saw it too, n i couldnt hold on to those feelings bc he has a gf.

Talking about his gf, throwback to new orleans, second night, 1am. It was just me, mirza and raja, n before mirza had mentioned that hakim's gf went to mirza's mrsm before he got there, so he kinda knew who she was, n he told us that night that the girl's previous boyfriend wasnt like hakim at all, so he was surprised. So me n raja were making all kinds of conclusions. Maybe hakim came into the picture right after mimi, the gf just broke up w her prev bf so she was more accepting of him. Maybe mirza didnt really like the girl. Maybe the circumstances of their relationship is not as it appears, but theyve been together for 3 years, and for 2 of those years hakim was in the states n she's back home, so who r we to say if their relationship is good or not? Speculation wasnt even decent, but we speculated anyway.

But yea semester started n in the first week the only time i saw hakim was through a snap of him sleeping in between classes. Raja was moving into our apartment, bc 2 of my housemates were graduating, so she was taking over one of the leases. When hakim found out he was like "alaa nnti jumpa raja dalam bas." N raja was half kidding when she said "okay la kalau jumpa dalam bas aku tak tegur kau".

On that sunday afiq was being real weird. He's close to one of my housemates, one that i havent revealed until now, kak sj, n i dont know if it has anything to do w her graduating. she was the one who told me to ask him to help w the table n she invited him over several times to cook w her. But he was asking me if i had classes he could join in n in the first week, i saw him every week day. We talked a lot about mso n classes n common interests. One day i was saying youre old afiq, and you havent even confessed to ur crush, whatre u gonna do? Then he told me that hes actually confessed to her, a month ago. I was so surprised. I mean, if it really was a month ago, it had to be someone from my batch, probably, n it couldnt have been anyone but raja? But i didnt wanna assume, so i offered a trade - my crush for yours. So he told me about confessing to raja, n i told him about hakim.

That night we talked on the phone for almost 2 hours about feelings and shit. I was pretty dumbfounded. He confessed to raja before the trip, and she kept that from me all the while, i know its probably not my business, but i wonder if she thought it was better that i didnt know? Bc she tells me almost everything about her life, n i tell her almost everything about mine, so why this secret?

I couldnt keep all this to myself. The night before kak tipah's flight home, i told her everything. She said that she shipped mirza w raja, n me w afiq. I told her that me n afiq cant be more than friends, especially not now. And imagine, im actually one of the last ones to know about this confession. Both of them must know that i felt left out? Kak tipah asked, if afiq suddenly told me he likes me, what would i do? I said i probably wouldnt accept him, bc i feel like im just the second option. Then she asked, what if he confessed to me, not raja? Then i said i probably wouldnt accept him immediately, but eventually.

I also felt that afiq's confession was off in timing- it was way too early. We hadnt been here for even 6 months, we barely know everyone in mso, u really couldnt expect her to have accepted him immediately. But later afiq did say that he didnt expect anything from her, he just wanted to know that he likes her. One of the things that we mentioned during the 2 hour talk was what was his previous girlfriends like, n he said him n his friends concluded that there were 3 main components in the girls he liked; 1. Wears glasses 2. Is introverted and 3. Has common interests w him. I was being so slick at not pointing out that all these descriptions fit me, but instead i avoided it by comparing it to raja, n she only wears glasses at night, is extremely extroverted, n common interests w her is very general.

But yea, he dropped out of the classes he was planning to take w me, but we still talked a lot about stuff, n two wednesdays ago i went to his house for fun, n it was hakim's turn to cook, n i think that was the third time this semester i saw him, n he invited me to eat and said "makanla, aku masak untuk kau kot" n it was a happy moment, even if i knew he was just kidding. Later all his housemates left me n afiq to our geeking out session.

The first time i saw him in the semester was during an mso gathering. We didnt talk. The second time i saw him, i didnt actually see him, altho he probably saw me. Raja had been complaining about meeting hakim on buses n being awkward about it, so one day I was helping raja move her stuff, n we were carrying big plastic bags of pillows onto a bus. Raja mentioned beforehand that she hopes she doesnt see any malaysians, n especially not hakim. The bus we got on was rather crowded, so me n raja had to sit separately. I wanted to sit at the back, but it was too much effort to squeeze in, so i just sat somewhere in the middle. When we were almost home, raja kept giving me signals, but i didnt get it. As soon as we got off, raja went all "DAH CAKAP DAH. MULUT AKU NI MASIN SANGAT." So hakim was on that bus, n i didnt even notice him, even after all my previous efforts to get on a bus w him, when i finally did i didnt even see him. I probably did, but i didnt recognize it was him. Raja kept complaining about it but i was just frustrated, so she ended up pissing me off.

Okay so one day i told him that i had a theory for why he likes raja, a girl who doesnt fit the usual description, n it was bc he didnt want to get broken hearted by girls who are as such again, so he opted for someone who's different, bc srsly his exgf treats him like they never came around to broke his heart so thats mean, but it was also a hint i was giving that he should probably stick to being friends w me so that he wont get broken hearted again, but he was all "hahahah you just made my day" and it was bittersweet

This whole thing is bittersweet- liking hakim is, too. Bc i feel like he's someone who treats me better than he treats raja, n that feels so good, even if it sounds mean, but when was the last time i ever felt like i was someone who was preferred over another girl?

Back to the story, things kinda got lost in between my own life of working and classes and doing design stuff for mso n never doing what they want me to do, so when raja suggested we made a batch gathering in our new house, i thought it was an awesome idea bc i havent hung out w kids in my batch for awhile now, n after having a short lunch w one of em the other day i realized that theyve been spending their time living their lives awesomely as well, n i kinda wanna hear all about it.

So yeaa after many discussions on when we should do it n whos free when we finally decided to do it last friday night. Thing is, that morning was my first shift ever, so right after i had to go buy stuff to replenish the household resources. when i was on my bus home, i saw afiq somewhere near the bus driver. I waved at him, hating to sit in front bc those r usually reserved seats n i dont like hesitating to stand up to offer an older person the seat, so i went all the way to the back w my bags of groceries n there he was, abdul hakim bin zazli.

When he saw me he asked "pegi meijer ke?" And i said yea and our conversation stopped there. I was wearing earphones, but he wasnt, but he was looking at his phone. Afiq messaged me "have fun" n i hated him. After awhile i noticed he wasnt really on his phone, he was just bored n that was his escapade, as usual, a habit of his ive noticed since the trip. So I wanted to make conversation, but when i called out "kim" he wasnt responding so i looked away, but suddenly he turned to me but i was already looking somewhere else, so he didnt say anything. He didnt say bye, but after walking a bit i noticed afiq turning around n grinning at the bus. I still hate him.

So that night was pretty awesome. Even most of the guys came. All the girls came. It was tiring having to make sure there was always food for the guests n that they werent bored, but everyone was pretty chill n i loved it. My batch is pretty awesome. I think one of the best feelings after thinking that u suck at befriending guys is having guys laugh at your jokes. intec guys sucked. period.

Saturday night. I was supposed to be studying for a monday exam. Suddenly afiq asked if i wanted to play left4dead2, which is a game we casually play together w sal, a chill sarawak girl who i have a friend crush on (she loves video games too n owns a ps4). We also managed to get mirza to play w us. After losing one round too many times, mirza quit n the cpu sort of saved our ass. It was 2am n we were still talking while doing our own shit. I have a feeling us 3 would make a pretty awesome trio.

Anyway i ended up being the last one sleeping bc i was editing jongup's bday video, but they all said they'd wanna come over to the ceramics studio to play clay from my wheel throwing class. So the next morning i told them it was pretty empty, so sal came n made an awesome mug for a first timer. She had fun. Afiq had a meeting so we met up w him for pizza after, then he came back to the studio w me bc he wanted to play w clay too. He told me that hakim brought the car to campus, so if i still had a lot of work to do n would probably miss the last bus at 5.30 i could ask him. So i did. He said he was going back at 10, n afiq didnt wanna go back that late, so he ended up have someone pick him up at 7. At 9, hakim was in front of the art building.

I keep forgetting to tell u guys that raja has met hakim on buses several times but he wouldnt talk to her, or like, he ignored her, which was something he did even to me before the trip, which is why when he talked to me first on friday, it felt great really. But raja hated it. She questioned it - why does hakim talk to me but not her? Why is he the only person she knows who wouldnt talk to her? I guess what she hated was his ego, but it also made it sound like she wants everyone on earth to love her, n i couldnt really stand that. But i didnt say a thing.

So when he initiates conversation during that what felt so short trip home, i was happy. As i described it to raja, it was a give n take. He would ask a question then talk n I would ask a question then talk n we were still cracking jokes when we were at the front door of my apartment. Unlike afiq who likes long goodbye n attachment, hakim's goodbyes were short n sweet, n i wonder why he's so chill w me, n some parts of me says that he probably thinks i have something going on w afiq, n i kinda hate that.

-tbc-

#personal #hz

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