#i just realized the first paragraph that i wrote got deleted...?

[bbrissonn]

let's talk about andrew tate for a quick sec

dylan holloway follows him, which is kinda scary if you ask me. hockey players already feel entitled to do whatever they want to women and now we have at least one of them who follows him. and who knows how many of them might have other private account on which they follow me...

social media platforms, especially tiktok, keep posts about him up even when they go against community guidelines because it gives them profit. this needs to stop. someone even said that her boyfriend is starting to hate her because of what this man is saying. his audience is mainly 13 year old boys. 13 year olds boys are gonna grow up thinking that this is right, and that what they're doing is okay.

and then they're gonna pass that onto their children, and so on. our generation and all younger generations are at risk. we has a society are going backwards and this needs to be fixed.

here's a link to a post on ig that goes more intol details

#bri talks #dylan holloway #i just realized the first paragraph that i wrote got deleted...? #oops

[missjomarch]

Thoughts about sitting between lukeys legs against his chest while you write an essay you’ve been stressing over

A/N: loved LOVED writing this request. Came to me in the middle of finals week so perfect comforting thoughts. Thank you for your patience anon, I got busy (again, finals 🥲). Enjoy 🫶

You had always taken school very seriously, and you were good at most subjects. However, as a STEM major, writing essays was the bane of your existence. It wasn’t that you weren’t good at it, having earned a high grade on all previous essays for this class. But being the perfectionist you are, you had a terrible habit of nit-picking everything you wrote. You’d finally get a thought down, only to delete and reword it a million times until it felt perfect. It made any simple essay into an extremely daunting task. Luke knew you struggled, and while he wasn’t much help in the academic department, he was your biggest cheerleader.

Currently, you were working on an research analysis paper you’d been putting off for two weeks. Now it was due in two days. After your minor mental breakdown the night before, Luke promised to help you get it done today. He had gotten you set up on the couch of your apartment before he left for morning skate at 8. However, he hadn’t expected to find you in the exact same spot when he returned four hours later.

Your eyes meet his as he walks through the door, and it feels like the first time you’ve looked away from the screen in hours. His hair is still wet from his shower, and he holds a Chipotle bag in his hands.

“Hey babe,” Luke calls into your apartment, setting the food on the kitchen counter before making his way towards the couch. He wears a small smile as he leans down to place a kiss to the back of your head. You attempt to flash a smile over your shoulder, but Luke has already noticed the tension in your face.

“How’s the essay going?” Luke hums, leaning down to see your computer screen as his hands begin rubbing at the tightness in your shoulders. You let the singular paragraph on your screen do the talking, opting for a slight shake of the head instead of a verbal response. You let out a heavy sigh, and attempt to rub the burning sensation from your eyes.

“How long have you been working on it?” Luke mumbled, hands still working at your shoulders.

“Since you left this morning,” you uttered, leaning your head slightly to rest on his forearm. “I swear I’m trying but my brain is just not wording today.”

Luke leaned to press a soft kiss to your temple, “let’s take a break, yeah? I brought you food.”

You let out another soft sigh before agreeing and closing your laptop. You stand up from the couch, Luke’s hands falling from your shoulders, and make your way to the kitchen. You get each of you a water from the fridge as Luke takes the food from the bag. You take a moment to drink in all six feet and 2 inches of your boyfriend as he grabs forks from the drawer. The sight of him in a backwards hat and fitted long sleeve is much more pleasing than the glaring computer screen.

“You’re staring, love.” Luke calls from the other side of the kitchen, breaking you from your trance. You roll your eyes at the smirk playing on his lips, and sit down and the island. Luke hands you your food and stands across from you to eat his. You can’t help the smile that forms as you realize he never texted to ask for your order. You know he has most of them in a note on his phone, but it always surprises you. You chat while you eat, Luke doing most of the talking as he gives you the details about morning practice and his upcoming games. You avoid the topic of the essay until you’re finished eating. It doesn’t take near as long as you’d like, and 30 minutes later you’re cleaning up your food and mentally preparing to start again. Luke doesn’t miss the dread in your eyes, and comes to rest his hands on your waist.

“How can I help you, baby?” Luke mutters, eyebrows furrowed in concern. One hand massages your hip lightly as the other comes to brush a fallen piece of hair from your face. You pout lightly, knowing he won’t let you procrastinate any longer.

“I don’t know…” you sigh, thinking for a moment. “Can you just sit with me?”

Luke is nodding his head immediately, “anything you need, babe.”

He grips your hand and carefully drags you towards the couch. He sets up on the chaise and settles you between his legs.

You lean into his hold, back against his chest, before moving your computer to your lap. His familiar scent engulfs you immediately, and it soothes your stress slightly. One of his arms snakes around your waist, and he keeps the other to scroll through his phone as you work. You set your focus back on the screen, determined to finish this damned essay.

The two of you remain like this for two hours as you type away. Occasionally you have Luke read a section to ensure it sounds decent. He always happy to insist that it’s perfect, awarding you with a small kiss. After managing to reach just past the halfway point, you take a small break and relocate to your bedroom for a change of scenery. You remain in the same position, only this time on your bed with Luke propped against the headboard behind you. He has a few wordage suggestions here and there, but is mostly silent as you write.

It’s 4:30 pm when you finally shut your laptop, letting out a long breath you had been holding. Your head falls back against Luke’s chest as he looks down at you.

“Finished?” You nod, eyes closing briefly as you mumble out a ‘finally’ in response. He laughs, setting his phone to the side to wrap you in his arms more firmly.

“Good job, babe. Knew you could do it.” Luke says, lips pressed to your hairline. You send him a small glare, still slightly annoyed at him for forcing you to work but thankful nonetheless. You break from his hold to turn and face him.

“Thank you for helping me, I don’t know what I’d do without you.” He smirks back at you.

“Probably flunk out of college,” He teases.

“Andddd lovey dovey moment over,” you sigh, rolling your eyes at his typical antics. You flipped back around to lay against his chest once more.

“Nap?” Luke proposes. He knows you’ll say yes and is already scooting down to lay down. You just nod, humming an ‘mhm’. You let him spoon you as you lay, sleep already overtaking you both. Your legs become entangled as Luke moves his head to rest in the crook over your neck. His warm breath is comforting, and you relax further into his arms. You feel Luke press a soft kiss to your neck, and your eyelids finally shut against the stress of the day.

#luke hughes #nj devils #umich hockey

[lowkeyrobin]

How did I never realize you wrote for Josh, Juicy and Eddie too omg?? :00 that's so cool

Also!

Could I request a Foolish x Reader with them being online friends meeting up irl for the first time (stupid sillies crushing on each other and flustered confessions have a death grip on me lmao)

I recently got back into the boys so 🙏🙏 just doing God's work yk? this app needs to be blessed by x reader fics of them so mwahhahaah (leave me sm reqs for them idec) ; ooo okay okay I see u bro, I got you ; thanks for requesting and I hope you enjoy! ; post writing me, sorry this is so short, idek man I had a couple paragraphs then deleted them bc they were so unnecessary lolll ; ALSO TWO POSTS TODAY!! I might post tonight but we'll see. two of these oneshots are hurting my brain bc idk what to do LMAOOO

FOOLISH GAMERS ; flustered confessions

summary ; you meet up with foolish irl and dorkily confess your feelings

warnings ; language, supportive little elderly people 🫶

word count ; 491

masterlist

You were now sitting in Foolish's office, watching him finish editing a video he didn't complete before he left to pick you up from the airport. You lay on the floor, a plushie shark used as a pillow for your head, the (mostly nonexistent) jetlag getting the best of you.

He turns around in his swirly chair, finding you on the floor. "You okay?" He smiles.

You nod in response, his smile making you feel a twisty-turny feeling in your stomach as it was swarmed with butterflies. "You wanna go get something to eat? I'm starving"

"Yeah, sure. Where do you wanna go?" He speaks, grabbing his phone and wallet off his desk to shove them in his pants pockets.

"Anything local?" You suggest, sitting up to put the plushie back where it went on his shelving system.

"Yeah, I have a few ideas" He nods with a little smile, "C'mon, I'll drive"

"Yes sir"

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

Foolish had taken you two to a little diner on the edge of town. You sit in the high tops in front of one of the large windows, sipping on cool glasses of water and chewing on the sandwiches you'd ordered.

An elderly couple walks past, smiling as they see the two of you laughing and smiling together. The old woman smiles as her and her husband slowly walk past, her frail voice respectfully quieting the two of you.

"You two are so adorable together. You better put a ring on that finger, young man"

Foolish's cheeks quickly redden as he smiles kindly at the old woman. "Oh, thank you"

You giggle, feeling your face flush a bit.

The old lady gives you both a warm smile, the same as her husband's, as they walk away toward the front counter to place their order. You and Foolish look at each other, nervous and flustered looks plastered on your faces.

"That was..." You start.

"Yeah." He chuckles, trying to hide his smile.

You snicker, looking away for a moment.

You're both quiet for a minute, not knowing how to redirect the conversation.

"I mean... she wasn't wrong." Foolish shrugs, catching your gaze with his awkward smile.

"Huh?" You question, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"I think we look cute together," He says, his voice cracking a little bit. "I like you," He shrugs, trying to act nonchalantly as he looks for a reaction in your eyes.

You blink a few times, trying to find a way to react as you scan over every scenario in your head. "Oh" is the only thing to slip out from your mouth.

"Oh?"

"No, like, good! Sorry"

"No, no, you're fine! Uh-"

"Sorry"

You talk over each other, still flustered and nervous around each other.

"Would you wanna make this a date?" You quickly ask, stealing the words from Foolish's mouth.

"Yeah!" He smiles, "Sure"

"Cool"

"We can't tell Quackity about this, okay?"

"Oh, yeah, of course"

#lowkeyrobin #mcyt x reader #mcyt preferences #mcyt oneshot #gender neutral reader #gn reader #gn! reader #they/them reader #foolish gamers oneshot #foolish gamers x reader #foolish gamers #foolish gamers x you

[cerealandchoccymilk]

Trigun Bookclub: Vash's Speech (FLOP EDITION...)

all bookclub posts

so i wrote this entire thing over a span of a day and a half. and found out just as i was finishing it that the ultradeep™ vash lore analysis point i wanted to make is actually NOT in the og trigun. [here's my mental breakdown post lol]

but i spent so much time and energy on this that i cant just say whelp! and delete it... so i'm posting it anyways. the straight-up incorrect parts are crossed out and some post-realization notes are in red. theres also a few paragraphs of postscript commentary/rambling in purple at the end of the post.

read it if youre bored i guess. but take it all with a grain of salt.

in the future (once we get to trimax vash+knives interaction) i will write the version of this that my memory intended, with an actual conclusion that makes sense lol

Mini-entry this time because I got consumed by linguistics brain worms :P But I wanted to make sure I talked about Vash's speech and his usage of pronouns!

A bit of background before we get into the analysis:

Japanese pronouns are very different from English. As the Wikipedia page puts it, "The use of pronouns, especially when referring to oneself and speaking in the first person, vary between gender, formality, dialect and region where Japanese is spoken."

The styles of spoken Japanese in general are another can of worms.... They're similar worms so I'll be touching on them a little, but it's not that relevant yet.

In real life, people have multiple pronouns (and speech styles) that they switch between depending on the situation, like with friends and family, at work, in front of kids, etc. For example, I primarily use 俺 online (along with joke/slang pronouns for funsies like 漏れ or おれっち), 自分 or 僕 in public depending on the person, and 私 in closeted situations. My cis male JP-school classmate uses 俺 with friends/family, used to use 私 in class at first, and then transitioned to 僕 as he got more familiar with the teachers.

Although this sort of code-switching happens all the time IRL, it's way less frequently illustrated in fiction, both for consistency's sake and because fictional characters just don't care as much about status. That's why I thought what's going on with Vash is particularly interesting!

Details continued below...

--original readmore position--

Here are the connotations for the two first-person pronouns that Vash uses (pulled from Wikipedia):

ore/おれ/俺 - informal - males - Frequently used by men. Establishes a sense of "masculinity". Can be seen as rude depending on the context. Emphasises one's own status when used with peers and with those who are younger or of lesser status. Among close friends or family, its use conveys familiarity rather than "masculinity" or superiority. It was used also by women until the late Edo period and still is in some dialects. Also oi in Kyushu dialect.

boku/ぼく/僕 - formal/informal - males - Used by males of all ages; very often used by boys; can be used by females but then carries tomboyish or feminist connotations. Perceived as humble, but can also carry an undertone of "feeling young" when used by males of older age. Also used when casually giving deference; "servant" uses the same kanji (僕 shimobe). Can also be used as a second-person pronoun toward male children (English equivalent – "kid" or "squirt").

(the usage of boku as a 2pp is actually part of a different phenomenon--if you're interested in that kotolabo's video explains it better than i ever could (eng captions available))

And these are the notes for every time Vash has used a first-person pronoun in the span that I've analyzed so far, which is until Chapter #06. I'll be adding onto this in the future as my annotations continue. no need anymore. i skimmed the rest and found out that, aside from a childhood flashback, vash uses exclusively ore after chapter #05.

The first instance is in Chapter #02, when he cries in French.

「なぜ僕がこんな目にあうのママン　何も悪いことしてないのにみんなが僕を狙うよママン」（独り言） "Why do things like this keep happening to me, maman? I don't do anything bad, but everyone's always after me, maman!" (to himself)

Here he uses boku, the softer pronoun. However, because he's putting on a "helpless French boy" persona, this one actually doesn't say much about Vash (other than that he's being silly).

The second time is later in the same chapter, when surrounded by the women of April City.

「奴に…会うまでは！！　俺は立ち止まる訳にはいかないんだ！！」（主婦たち） "Until I see him again... I cannot afford to stop moving!" (Housewives)

This time he uses ore, the rougher and more masculine pronoun. The situation is very tense; he has several guns pointed at him. This is also the first instance we see the trauma and hurt Vash holds inside. Overall he's very desperate here. We can see in a bit that ore is his "default." He drops his usual polite/kind tone to be as sincere as he can with the women. I think he can't afford to code-switch and be polite because this is a very personal and emotional moment for him. This doesn't mean his tone is necessarily rude (in-universe!!! probably better not to talk to strangers like this IRL); he still uses relatively soft language.

The next two are in Chapter #04, both when he refuses the sandsteamer guy's job offers.

「やだやだやだやだ　僕は���いごと嫌いなの！！」（砂蒸気の人） "No, no, no, no! I don't like trouble!" (Sandsteamer guy)

「僕は客なの！！この車の警備態勢にはチョーー期待してるから ヨロシクね！！」（砂蒸気の人） "I am a passenger! I have great faith in your security, so I entrust everything to you, okay?" (Sandsteamer guy)

He uses boku here. As we'll see in future instances, this is the pronoun he uses in front of other people and is the one he chooses most frequently. He constantly avoids trouble, so he always uses soft language and the humbler pronoun. nope it was just out of politeness towards a stranger and trying to sound less assertive/more harmless(?) to get out of the situation

In the next page, Vash talks to himself during his piss break.

「…まったくもう　保険屋の2人組といい…　俺(おら)ァもっとひっそりとやってきたいのに」（独り言） "...Jeez! As if those two insurance girls weren't already enough... I was hoping for a nice, quiet trip." (to himself)

Although the pronunciation here is oraa, it's a reduced form of ore wa (wa is a grammatical particle). His tone here is sort of laid-back (and tired, as you can tell). Again, this is his default 1st-person pronoun.

A few moments later, on the last page of the chapter, he says,

「よく分かった　ツラかったろう！！大丈夫だ 僕にまかせな　悪い様にはしねえぜ！！」（カイト） "I understand. It must have been so hard! It's okay... I'll take care of you. I won't let anything bad happen to you again!" (to Kaito)

Here he switches back to boku. He does this in front of almost everyone, but this is especially the case because he's speaking to a child he wants to protect. Using the boku pronoun gives a softer, more approachable vibe.

In Chapter #05, he goes back to ore when he talks to Kaito about No Man's Land.

「時々考えるよ　この惑星に…来た事が本当に俺達にとって幸せな事なのか　ってね」（カイト） "I sometimes wonder... Was our arrival on this planet actually something for us to be happy about? ...Y'know?"

From here on Vash is more familiar with Kaito, enough to open up a bit about his true feelings about humanity. It is also partially Vash talking to himself. irrelevant/coincidence

In Chapter #06, Vash talks to himself in front of Kaito.

「間違いない！！俺にゃー死神か貧乏神が２ケタ以上ついてるんだ」（独り言・カイト） Overhaul: "Why do death and destruction always follow right behind me?!" Literal: "I swear, I have at least 2 digits’ worth of death-gods or poverty-gods haunting me!!"

He uses ore here again. At this point, he's pretty much completely familiar with Kaito, and considers him a friend/teammate. The speech here is very casual. Skimming through the later chapters, I was able to confirm that from Chapter #05 on, Vash uses exclusively ore.

wait

AAAND CUT! this is where my dumb ass realizes that vashs speech is different between trigun and trimax, and that the conclusion i planned on making was trimax-exclusive :) now forget everything you just read in this post past the wikipedia table screenshot because itll be completely irrelevant in less than a week!!

trimax vash uses boku 99% of the time and ore exclusively in front of knives as far as i can remember. i wanted to say stuff about how he is always wearing the kind persona as a mask and shows his true emotions (aka his sheer trauma and rage) in front of knives and knives only

but like. he really doesnt in og trigun. thats just him being kind to strangers??? and barely has any deep meaning to it. it doesnt mean the individual analyses are wrong but theyre definitely not making the point i was going to make at the end of this post and it just aint that deep.

very frustrated with myself rn... but the 2 good things i got out of this are 1) i wont have to write the pronoun explanation again and 2) i skimmed through all of trigun so future annotations might be faster/cost less spoons since i already have some things to write down in mind.

This will definitely get a part 2+ in the future, especially once we get to see Knives. the redo will just be a new single-part post. this stuff will most likely only become relevant once we see knives+vash interaction in trimax The Meryl speech analysis we mentioned in a past post is currently in the works, and will also be part of this speech series!

#head in hands #trigunbookclub #trigun speech analysis

[misc-obeyme]

whats ur favorite song :D

Um. Uh. Er. Well…?

I don’t have a favorite, I’m afraid. I saw this ask and like fifty songs immediately came to mind.

Augh okay this is such a straightforward question and I already wrote (& deleted) a whole paragraph where I got poetic about what music means to me lol. I realize that is not the point!

But since I am indecisive & can’t really choose a favorite, I can tell you what I’ve been listening to recently!

I like to think of my musical taste as questionable but eclectic.

Lately I’ve been listening to a lot of Tracy Chapman. I’ve always been a fan but after that Grammy performance of Fast Car (which was the first time I learned of the cover & who Luke Combs was… sorry country isn’t really something I listen to much), I was like hang on I wanna listen to some of the other albums that I remember my parents had. I was amazed to find that I still know so many of the words lol.

I’ve also been listening to Florence & the Machine. The song Seven Devils makes me laugh now because of OM but it’s such a good song.

A friend recommended Noah Kahan a while back & I’ve been listening to his album a lot too. I love Stick Season and the song Growing Sideways might as well just be about me lol.

Of course I also love instrumental music for writing. Toshifumi Hinata is always at the top of that list. But I’ll also listen to music in a different language and lately that’s been SKALD and The Hu. Oh and JJK OSTs dndjsks

Hopefully that kinda answers the question. It’s easier for me to talk in generalities because there are so many songs that I love. For instance, I’m also a fan of 70s classic rock because that’s what my parents listened to while I was growing up. I like a lot of 80s & 90s pop hits because of the radio. I also like K-Pop. I’m a huge Bach fan. Like it’s all over the freaking place.

I deleted what I wrote earlier because it was getting wordy but now I’ve just devolved into wordiness yet again. I give up lol!

#I could write about music all day #anon asks #misc answers

[sage-knight]

I want to do some kind of year in review. 1) I am far too chaotic for any sort of organized template. These are some of my favorite screenshots I've taken this year. I know I'll never get a ton of notes on what I post, but they've brought me joy. (On the subject of notes, the two most popular posts I've made since I joined tumblr are the most low effort trash and they don't bring me joy, but that ironically does make me laugh.)

Beginning of the year I made an unofficial decision (compulsion?) to focus on my fav OC, my sith inquisitor from swtor. It's become kind of a project seeing where I can stick her. She inspired me to write more, first with swtor then cyberpunk, which is partially why I became so attached. That and I put a lot of myself in her. I will say I have uhhh a weird relationship with my asian heritage? I ended up deleting Ixaphia 1.0 at some point because she reminded me too much of my mom (it was the hair, that hair had to go!) Not to get too real on main, but I think she might have helped me unpack some stuff I didn't even realize were a thing.

For 2024 I'd like to overcome the feeling that I'm wasting my time here posting my little pictures like a sad racoon who is too lazy to make gifs. It's a weird struggle of wanting to share and talk to people but also not wanting to put even the most vague personal details out there. See me, but do not perceive me. It's going great!

As for writing this year, I write sporadically, usually when blorbo thoughts threaten to start leaking out of my ears if I don't get it out. It's not something I share but @meonlyred has been subjected to the p o rn, bc what are friends for. I'm sorry and/or you're welcome. Not ready to put that into the void, but I will throw up the first few paragraphs I ever wrote for my Viktor Vektor fic in hopes that 2024 I actually finish the thing.

Jackie walked over to the punching bag Vik had hanging in the corner of his basement clinic and bounced back and forth giving it a few casual jabs. The man was a hulking fridge of perpetual energy. He sauntered over to some knick-knacks on a shelf and began rearranging them.

“I'm telling you Vik, she won't admit it, but V is sweet on you. I can tell.”

Viktor didn't look up from the equipment he was cleaning. The basic tools of every NC ripperdoc, plus a few he had custom modified for himself. Half the appeal of working back-alley was doing the job better than the corpo wage slaves tied down by miles of red tape. Besides the tiny tremor in his hand, a little souvenir from his boxing days had washed him out of the possibility of trauma team--even if it could be mitigated.

“Nonsense, Viky. You'd be good together! Me and Misty and you two, think of the double dates. Basically what we do already, just make it official-like.”

This time Viktor did stop what he was doing and looked up at his friend over the glasses half-slid down his nose. He took them off and rubbed his temple.

“Jackie--”

He was mercifully interrupted by the metallic clank of the door, before he found himself having to explain yet again why him and V were a bad idea.

“Sorry, Jack. Got an appointment. Still on for tonight? Malone v Hernandez. Fridge is stocked.”

“V will be there too, yeah?”

At the look Viktor shot his way he held his hands up in concession. “Okay, okay. I'll see you tonight. But think about what I said!”

#ele texts

[i-literally-cant-with-this]

MDNI 18 + CONTENT MINORS DO NOT INTERACT 18 + MDNI

Can I just say, fuck this piece of writing. It took me too long. I wrote and then deleted paragraph after paragraph. I love Gojo. But I think he & I might need some time apart.

Also, NOTHING about this bastard of a story turned out like I said it would. That being said, I'm sorry people... please don't lose faith in me 😆. I'm trying!

@gingerspicelattemix @desi-the-blue-eyed-kakushi @mydarlingdahlia @vampcubus

In Stitches

You were his favorite seamstress. And it was no secret. Once, when you were out, the store owner told the man that his husband could stitch up the thrashed garment. "Sir, I assure you, my husband is the finest in his entire family. 6 generations of tailors, and he is the best yet." The tall man laughed a short but hearty chuckle, "First, 'sir' sucks. You know my name is Gojo. I'm in here all the time. Secondly, I don't give a shit if your husband makes the Lord Baby Jesus robes. I only want y/n to work on my uniforms. Yeah? When will she be back?" The owner knew this man was quite taken with you, but now he could see this for what it really was. "Y/n," the owner cleared his throat." Y/n will be back in 3 minutes. She's on her lunch break."

●Exactly 3 minutes later, because you were timely if you were anything, you tapped the owner on his shoulder and smiled sweetly, "I'm back now. Thank you."

●You recognized the man's voice as you clocked back in. Of course, you did. You always prayed to the old gods and the new that he'd have some terrible clothing mishap and fall at your feet, grabbing at the fullest part of your ass, burying his face where your thighs meet, begging for you to sew him back together. *His clothes back together. You had to correct yourself a lot.

● His bright eyes bore down on you, shrouded behind dark glasses. He was watching you before you realized it. Finally, you were able to raise your eyes to meet his. As you picked through the shreds of cloth, you breathed in his cologne. What you wouldn't give to press your face to his bare chest.

● You looked out the wide storefront window, sighing heavily. "Fuck. I bet it's soft. Soft and hard. And warm," you said in a whisper. Gojo looked at you and smiled. "What was that, sweetheart?"

● "OH! I, I, I was just, uhm. H-how did your clothes get so torn this time?" You asked with the confidence of a scared church mouse. He bent over and placed his elbow on the counter, and put his chin in the palm of his hand. He flashed you a cheeky smile. One look from him, and that's all it takes to turn you to mush as you're waiting to hear the backstory. "Or should I ask who got on your bad side?" You want to get on his bad side.

● His sudden laugh shook you from your hallucinations about what his chest would feel like against your cheek. Ok, really, it was your mouth. Your *tongue* and your mouth. You jumped back a little. "Oh, oh shit. Sorry. I didn't mean to startle you ..." He shifted his eyes to the pile of clothes your hands rested on, "Well, I just ... I gotta go. Fight someone ... or ... something."

"Why did I jump like that! Now he thinks I'm this jumpy idiot," you thought , scolding yourself.

● He put his large hand over yours and leaned over the counter close to your face. "KISS ME. MARRY ME. FUCK ME." You thought. Damn it, you're blushing. "Have a great day, sweetheart. I'll be back in a few days to pick these up. Unless I happen to run into you sooner?" He squeezed your hand, and the doorbell rang and brought you back to this stupid reality from the one where his hand was touching yours. Just in time to see that he'd already disappeared into the world.

● It was 5:58 pm. and time to close the shop. You could wait until 6:00 exactly. But you were in a hurry to get home, lock yourself up, close the shades, and plow through the clothes that he brought you. You could afford a discrepancy or two. Or three.

● Driving into the rainy night headed for home you hit a red light right off the bat. And usually, you hate them. All they do is hold you up. But, the bag. Gojo's bag. The bag of his clothes sitting in the passenger seat keeps calling to you. Pleading its case to be picked up and stuffed against your body. It wants you to sniff at it. You reached your hand over to open it up but a car honked behind you. Once again, bringing you back around to this side of reality. "Bahhh! Fuck. Sor-sorry!" You wave, "Im goin', I'm goin'. Jesus."

● You got home around 6:15. Parked in your spot and made a run for it. The rain was coming down so hard. Sliding your key into the doorknob and letting yourself inside, you drop everything you're carrying but the bag of clothes. "Now, where were we when we were so rudely interrupted?" You poured yourself a glass of peach moscato, grabbed the bottle, the bag, and set to work in your sewing area in the spare bedroom.

● "Shirt. Ok. Let's, let's get this ... Oh my god." You sank down in your chair, feeling 10 times more drunk from the smell. His scent was emanating from the bag. It was so strong that you wondered if he purposely sprayed extra cologne on the uniform before bringing it in to you.

● His scent hit you like a fucking semi and he weighed heavily on your mind. You considered going back to work to look through the old receipts for his phone number to lure him to you like one of those crocodiles that hides just under the surface of the water and waits for their prey to start drinking. Then they snap their jaws around the unsuspecting creatures neck. You wanted to snap your mouth around Gojo's cock. Gently, of course.

● You realized you'd probably be better off staying home. You finished his shirt, the last of the bottle, and took another hefty whiff. "Iiii-ahhh ... I want to shower. You're coming with me, though," You said to the shirt. Surely, you could just hang it over the door and smell it without getting it wet.

● In your bedroom, you slipped out of your clothes. On your way to the shower, you stopped in front of your full-length mirror and looked at yourself. "Something ... missing." You slipped Gojo's shirt over your arms and pulled it, as closed as it would go, around your tits. The fabric was softer than it looked. "Oh OH HI. I'm Gojo and I'll be your fuck toy for the night." Shaking your head you continued to check yourself out.

● It was a little snug on you, but still cute. It hung just above the round curve on the bottom of your ass. The sleeves were floppy on your shorter arms. "Fuck. I wish he was here." You felt the slick gather between your legs as you walked to the shower. Your desire for him was becoming bothersome.

● Before you started the shower water, you went to make sure your door was locked. You were in such a hurry to get inside and start pawing through his clothes that you didn't pay much attention. Halfway to the door, there was a quiet knock. You stopped in your tracks. "Who the fuck?" You whispered. "What, what time is it?" A glance at the clock. It was 1:28 a.m. and everyone you know doesn't come by your place unannounced because they know it pisses you off to have drop-in visitors.

● Another series of knocks. "Y/n?" The familiar voice whispered up against the heavy door. GOJO. "It's, it's Goj– Satoru Gojo. Are you awake? You, you remember me from–" You were awake, a little drunk, very horny for the white-haired man on the other side of your door, and a lot naked, save for his shirt. You could've changed into a robe. But the wine gave you false confidence. So, you decided to do the only thing there was to do; you were going to open the door.

● How many times have you prayed for this. Begged any God or anything, really, to grant you this one fucking wish. You took a breath for courage and walked toward the door.

● "Gojo? What are you doing here?" You hung your head laughing at this person you've become. You heard him laughing, too. "Fantastic." You said quietly. "Can I help you with something?"

● "Yes, yeah, you can. I was going home, and I tore my favorite pair of pants on a fence when I was running from a vicious dog. And then I climbed it, and boom. Torn. I was hoping you could repair them? They're my favorite pair. Did you hear that ‐"

● You opened the door. His lurid eyes peeked over the top of his dark sunglasses and burned into you. "That part." He finished his sentence. "Well, well, well. What have we here? Is that my shirt you're wearing?" You blushed and opened your mouth to say something. "No need to talk, doll. You told me everything I needed to know." Just seeing you in his uniform got him halfway hard. "I wasn't going to explain myself. I was going to ask why you had to climb a fence to outrun a vicious dog." You looked at him suspiciously and he just smirked.

● "Can I come in thanks." He stepped around you and into your apartment and looked around. "Would you mind telling me why this couldn't wait until Monday? Y'know. When I was at work?" He began undoing his belt. "Whoa there ... what the hell are you doing?" You asked almost breathlessly. You both knew you wanted him to continue to take his pants off. He just smiled at you and proceeded to unbutton and unzip his them. Stepping out of them, he bunched them up into his large hand and tossed them to you. "Here."

● "Yep. Got it. I'll fix 'em right up. Tomorrow. "You said more loudly than you had intended. "Goodnight, Satoru Go–" You had the resolve of a goldfish when you were trying to uproot the words to ask him to leave. But you didn't want him to go. "No, no, no, sweetheart. I think ... yes. I want you to put them on." Gojo gestured to the pants twisted around in your fingers.

● "Sorry, you what? You want me to put your pants on? Am I understanding this correctly?" He looked at you like he couldn't understand why it was such a hard pill to swallow. "Yes, y/n. Put. The. Pants. On." You shook them out in front of you to have a look at the legs. They smelled exactly like his shirt you had, only better because they were still warm from his body. "These won't fit me. This isn't that traveling pants movie where the girl with the biggest ass of her friends group miraculously squeezed into them." You laughed way too hard at your comparison.

● He cocked his head and you stopped giggling at yourself. "Wha– traveling pants? What the fuck are you talking about? My pants are homebodies. Just put the damn things on, y/n." You sat down on the arm of your couch to help balance you, laughing at the fact he called his pants homebodies. "Ok, ok." You were still a little tipsy.

●Slipping the pants over your left foot first, he watched you push it out of the leg opening. "Next foot." You stuck your right leg through and steadied your feet on the floor to pull them up to your waist.

● He smiled at you in his clothing. Your arms and legs drowning in the sea of cloth. The thread holding the buttons over your chest forced to give a little. The waist of the pants is not big enough to cover your curves. But you looked so sexy to him struggling like this. Only Gojo would think you struggling like this was sexy.

● "See? I told you. My fat ass wont fit–" Gojo was at you in a split second and stuck his hands into the shirt on either side of your hips, burying his face in your neck. He took a slow, deep breath and melted into your warm skin. He shuddered as he pulled his face around to rub his nose to yours. "Your fat ass is fucking sexy." His eyes are more blue right now than you've ever seen them. You pulled your face back to look at him. He was so fucking beautiful.

● He held your chin in his hand and brought his lips down to yours. Kissing him back rendered you void of all oxygen as you breathed into his grasp. His kiss was deep and overwhelming. Just like you'd always imagined it would be. He hung over you as you fought to keep your knees from buckling under you. Even though the couch was right there, you wanted to stay exactly where you were, pressed to him. As close as two semi clothed people could get.

● For a moment you forgot you were donning his uniform and that he was in a shirt and his boxer briefs. "You taste like the rain." He said, licking his lips and taking a small step back.

● You stood there with one hand on your hip and the other one holding the shirt together. Though you didn't know why you bothered. If he wanted to see your tits, he would see your tits.

● He stared back at you, looking you up and down in his ridiculously long yet narrow clothing. You notice how his cock is stretching out his boxer briefs. Precum beginning to leave a darkened, wet spot.

● Gojo followed your gaze down at the bulge. "This? You want this? Well, all y'gotta do is ask, sweetheart." He pulled the waistband down to the base of his cock and then started palming himself through the slightly stained fabric.

● Gojo saunteted over to you and reached ran his hand down the side of your face, looking at you so, so sweetly. A moment later he stuck his middle and fourth finger in your mouth. How that didn't catch you off guard and how it felt so natural, you'll never understand. You instinctively knew to start sucking on them. "Good girl," he purred your praises in a deep voice while his other hand came up to pull the bunched fabric of his shirt from your clutches.

● "You. Dirty. Little. Freak. I mean, I could smell it on you from the other side of the state. But damn. I'm, I'm impressed, y/n. Were you going to fuck yourself while you wore this?" He flicked your protruding nipple and then pulled the shirt open to kiss it. "Or were you going to lay it over a pillow and rub your wet little cunt all over it and then give it back to me so I could smell you deep in these threads?"

● You tried to talk around his fingers over your tongue. "Mmmughnn ... ughhh!" He laughed and pushed his fingers back, his other hand now cupping your pussy. He pushed you backward to the couch cushion. "Sit. Leave the shirt and pants on." You turned into your spot, purposely brushing your ass in his face.

● He let out a low rumble of a sound as he grabbed your hips to hold you there, pussy up. "Don't play games you don't know the rules to, sweetheart." His hand came down hard just before he nipped and kissed at the covered flesh. You settled back down on the brushed sued couch cover. "Open your legs." You did as you were told and lay there against the plush surface. Still a little sore from the mild reprimand.

● The same two fingers he had in your mouth made a wet trail from your lips to the hole in the inseam of his pants. You shuttered at how easy it was for him to govern your actions. How easily you gave into him. You wanted to be his good girl.

● He pushed the waistband aside and licked circles across your hips, nosing at your thighs and hovering over your wetness, breathing it in. He stayed there for what seemed like an eternity. You felt every layer of your skin start to heat up. It was no wonder, though. You felt like you were going to combust under his touch.

● You're almost whimpering and all this asshole has done is gag you, and cup your pussy. Once.

● He grabbed both sides of where the zipper was sewn into his pants and ripped them from your body. He pulled them down to your ankles and he slammed his face into your cunt. "Oh!!" You cried out. His mouth kissed around your rosy folds as his finger explored the edges of your hole. He turned his wrist and slid his finger into your warm, sticky walls. Rubbing your clit with his palm and his fingertip inside making the "come here" motion until you started to shift around him. How were you this wet already, you thought. "I feel you tightening up at my finger. So desperate for some part of me to fuck into you. You don't care if it's my hand."

● "Yes. Go‐ God. Fuck me with your hand, Gojo." He tutted at how cheaply you retailed yourself for his touch. "You don't care if it's myyy ...." He positioned his lips to encircle your clit as he still teased his finger just outside of you. "MMMMM" he lifted his face from you to finish saying the word. "My mmmouth."

● Your legs instinctually tried to slam closed at the sudden hard vibrations of his words on this sensitive bundle of nerves. But Gojo wouldn't allow it. For months, your fuck me energy flowed to him. He knew what you wanted. He knew when your hormones were heightened. When your body was at its apex of arousal. When you fucked yourself on your lunch break and came back to work to show him how you repaired his clothes with the same hand that, possibly moments before, was frantically rubbing at your cunt. He liked it. He craved it.

● Gojo dragged his open mouth over your abdomen to your chest and took your breasts, sucking and tonguing your nipple. Switching from one to the other when he was satisfied with the marks he'd left on your soft skin.

● He let his arms rest on either side of your legs and rubbed the fullest part of your thighs. It would look rough to any outsider, what he was doing. But there was more pressure than hurt in his approach.

● Your eyes went straight back into your skull. His touch felt better than you could ever fathom. "You have goosebumps." He said, so quietly. For a moment, you forgot where you were. "My fucking god." You whispered shakily as your body twitched. Your hips raise off of the couch without realizing it.

● He shifted down so his face was flush with your drenched cunt and he sunk his hands between your ass and the couch. Pulling you to the edge so he had complete access to you. "Mmhm. Just like I imagined it'd be. So fucking hot, sweetheart."

● His ripped his pants the rest of the way from your ankles and lifted your legs over his shoulders. He sunk two fingers into you. He said in a hushed tone. "Oh, jackpot, baby." Gojo slipped them in and out of you until he felt you begin to clench around him. Your hips rocked down to make up for the distance there was between you and his long fingers. You were doing everything to try and get him to increase the friction and depth. Making just slightly audible noises. Your wine buzz an afterthought by now. You were drunk on him. But you had a feeling you were still going to get loud.

● He was too careful not to administer any direct contact with the most needy part of you. "Gojo please! Pleasepleaseplease. You gotta do something. Anything!"

● "You think you deserve that? Now?" You were becoming increasingly frustrated as he continued to delay your gratification.

● He paused, feigning consideration thoughtfully, and he stood to remove the last of his remaining clothes. You sunk back, hoping your frustration wouldn't backpedal what little progress you've made with him.

● He sat next to you and reached over, filling his hands with the collar of his shirt. "Up." He shifted you from the sunken in space and sat you on top of him. He tore the shirt down from your shoulders and wrapped it around your waist.

● "Ooh!" You said in surprise. He moved so quickly now, comparatively. You began to roll your hips. The noises escaping from between your bodies were delicious. Spurring you on. You were so wet now. It was mixing with his own juices. It was so easy to let him make you feel good.

● His thick cock fit perfectly between your folds. You were stuck somewhere between heaven and hell. There was no way you could loosen his grip on you to raise yourself up somehow and bury him inside of you.

● You picked up your movements on him, essentially, giving him a hand-job with your pussy. "Ahh sweetheart. Careful ..." It was working. You only needed to move up his body a little more and "OH fffuh!" You got him to slide right into you.

● "Fffuck." He was inside of you and he seemed caught off guard as you tucked him away. You leaned away from him, arching your back and putting your hands behind you on his knees and you bounced so hard on him your tits slapped against your skin.

● "Swee– sweethar-tuh. Oh, God." Gojo snaked his arms around your waist to hold you while he slammed back into you with equal force."

● You pressed your chest into his face. He bit at your jumping flesh and lavished you with his tongue to ease the sharpness of his teeth against you.

● "Ok, ok, doll. That's e‐, that's, fuck ..." You leaned fully over him and grabbed the back of the couch to support your efforts. "You, you wan'ta keep driving us both crazy and go down on me all night?" He considered it but switched places with you instead.

● He spun you over so you were on your back against the seat. "No." He admitted, his cock sliding into you at such a fast pace your head was slamming into the armrest. "No, I'm going to fuck you now."

● He focused as he went balls deep into you, watching closely to see how you swallowed him up with every thrust.

● "Such, ah, such a sweet pussy, sweet-hah-heart." You had been driven half mad by him. And finally, finally, you were where you'd imagined being for so long; under him. Tangled around him.

● Your insides were on fire as he drove into your covetous cunt. You felt that familiar tension building, like you had so many times before when Gojo was just a figment of your imagination. His weight on you was marvelous. It erased the emptiness you'd feel when you would open your eyes to see he wasn't there. No matter how hard you worked to convince yourself it was real. That he was real.

● "Y‐ya feel s'fuckin' good, Gojo. Fuck ..." He leaned over to kiss your contorted mouth. You were going to cum. Your insides tightened up all at once and you wrapped your body around him.

● "Fffuck Gojo! Oh my god – ah!" He watched you come apart like you were a long-lost friend. Your body undulating beneath him was so pretty to him. You were a mess. A hot mess and he was here for it.

● He felt your legs slacken as you rode out the euphoric high. The most miniscule drops of saliva hanging onto the corners of your lips.

● You felt like a little doll beneath him now. Laying there almost innocently. Tears running down either side of your face. Sweat at your relaxed brow. So cute, he thought.

● His pace quickened and your eyes opened wide as he felt his impending release tear at his willpower. "Oh, fuck, sweetheart. I'm g'na cum. Where do you want – tchh, ah – where should I – aw, fuck."

● He was too slow. He came a white shower inside of your warmth. "I," he wiped his brow. "Well, I'm sure you know." He laughed and kissed you.

"Gojo, I want to ask you something."

"Ok, what?"

"Did you really come over here in the middle of the rainy night to ask me to fix your pants?"

"I, uh, no. I fucking hate those pants. I just wanted to wear you.

#jjk gojo #jjk satoru #jjk satoru gojo #jjk gojo satoru #gojo satorou #gojo satoru #jujutsu kaisen gojo #jjk smut #gojo satoru x reader #gojo smut

[chonnysinferno]

tumblr deleted my ask :( anyway first n most importantly, could you listen to bopgil https://youtu.be/rORI1sZM-9I?si=wwaYyY82DnO9VLHk

anyway can i send you odd asks more often

anyway anyway i thought that was a completely one sided thing like. yeah. sometimes i just rotate people in my mind for a bit n then stop . pokes you with stick

juke’s towers of hell is a tower styled obby game. while you may be cascading down the social spiral, perhaps you will be able to ascend one of these trauma inducing towers

my head hurts so much but i got fries i think it’s because of malnutrition i don’t eat enough

fuckin like. i made a vaguepost about you. just two star crossed tumblr users. i guess that’s probably weird whatever

at first i saw cjshippers on your dni and i was like ok. goodbye then. and then it’s just like that one time you horribly interpreted my post about aro mind which i definitely said in a way liable to misinterpretation when i maintagged it aka i should’ve known better and then someone i admired at time took your misinterpretation n that was so fear and then i avoided you and now you are just like. oh it’s that person again. in my notes. on occasion. youre a cryptid tawa mi… i spin my pencil sometimes. badly. so sometimes when i am thinking now i get the urge to spin my pencil and i am thinking abt it right now. spinning fry gets fry seasoning in my hands so. i wrote loveless aro heart but it’s in a fic i definitely didn’t intend platinically. it’s this thing right. shipping is so weird because i’m aromantic and when it comes down to it, the difference between romance ala romance just seems like wording. a label. cause friends can do everything that partners can and there’s no depth difference so like wh huh? i call it a shipfic but it could be considered as just thing different than how i usually write thing like. i make them kiss. whatever. i focus on how close an intimate they feel. but i could also do that when romance li lon ala. so. allos are so weird to me. still figuring out what i think of the word love but still. allos……. ? ? ? anyway writing relationships where it not being love ISN’T A FLAW is so so enrichment i should do it more

pokes you with a stick pokes you with a stick pokes you with a stick hiiiii hi hi hi hiii

it’s like the mutual i would usually send writing asks has established it likes ‘weird violence’ and complicated dynamics n such so i can send stuff w/o fear i know it a little bit however i don’t know. what is up. with you. i literally saved something i sent to it so i could just put that here however that feels like cheating and or betrayal. you turn the corner to your kitchen and i’m standing there. consuming ice very loudly and aggressively. recklessly even. ‘so do you think about the transient nature of any positive hms relationship’, i ask. what do you do (also i have plugged my own ice maker in btw)

also i’ve already convinced three (3) mutuals to watch centricide so if you do i will feel even more powerful like ohhhh wawa mi li kama suli…. surprisingly they didn’t eviscerate me very cool

it’s like showing up to the function like oh so you rbed that post you like those types of relationships. writes something down. ok so can i write about [paragraph redacted cause i realized maybe there’s a reason you shouldn’t put gore and cannibalism in someone’s inbox without permission. so can i put gore n cannibalism in your inbox :3]

NEW CENTRICIDE THEORY: radcen is called the ringleader of the centrists cause he

i forgot the joke fuck

i am so sorry im like. drawing funny objects (when im not supposed to0 be but SHHHHHHHHHHHHHH shhshshshshhb) and watching centricide rn sodfsdfkjkljddmklslmk im like. really scatterbrained im sorry HGAHAHGHAS yea im already watching it btw feel more poiwerful in return you should watch hfjone if you havent tho. like a trade of interests i get into yours you get into mine >:-)c sorry for like. misinteruptting that one post that one time. hides away i n shame i think that was like. the time i actually knew you existed. for a negative reason ^_^''''''''''' i try not to think about it cause i dont think ur still mad at me for that. hopefully this is goign to be like not arranged in the order of the ask (aka im not reading this in the way this is written. things are being answered in a way that makes no sense) PLEASE SEND ME ASKS even if they are odd. actually the odder the better im going to be honest with you i do not get much interaction askwise so. it brings me joy it wasnt a one sided thing LMFAO i guess i can see why ud see that. no its weird idk whats going on anymore. hi tho!!! is continously poked with a stick. youch. twitches like a bug uhjhmmhmhmhmh ill try jtoh i rememebr you ranting about it sometime but i dont rmemeber any of it i am so sorry also dont vaguepost about me. coward /JOKE that is funny thjo HAHAHAH also eat more. or i will find you. dont malnourish yourslef /silly idk about the shipping thing. i dont get shipping either im going to be honest with you romance is like. just not understandable to me??????????? i cant comprehend why this happens. what is romance continues to be poked more. stares at you i dotn know whats up with me either maybe someone else knows. i dont know much about myself so ^_^ being called a cryptid is probably the best way to describe me i feel. yeag put anything you want aslong as its not. nsfw or smth. ill smite you also can i have some ice pls ice is great wdym by relationship do you mean like. platonic??? romantic????? what do you mena byt his i think ive answered everything i keep having 2 scroll up LOL also edit (once again i know) i did enjoy the video link u sent thank u

#mind's eye collective asks #dljfkljskljdfklj #yega #i love these. a lot. sned more be strange #the behavior is encouraged #also if anything is repeating im actually. its 11 pm cut me some slack im twitcfhing ove rhere #— 🌗

[ltwharfy]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thanks to @daddygrandpaandthebeaver for tagging me!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

10.

2. What’s your total word count?

25,908 words

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Bob's Burgers

4. Top 5 fics by kudos

It's my five oldest fics, but not in release date order: 1. "I Will Call You Pet Names No One Knows" (aka 2.2k words about Rudy's name); 2. "Surely It's Okay If I Just Tell Pancake?" (Rudy tells his stuffed flounder about the events of "Bob Actually"); 3. "Former Guidance Counselor of the Bride (and Groom)" (Louise and Rudy's wedding told from the POV of Mr. Frond, of course); 4 (a tie!). "Dance Like Nobody's Watching" (Rudy sees Louise dancing to Boyz 4 Now song at a store, awkwardness ensues) and "Old Friends/Bookends" (Rudy and Louise rediscover Pancake when moving to their new apartment).

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes! I adore getting comments. Whether its just a stream of incomprehensible happy letters or paragraphs describing favorite parts, I appreciate anyone taking the time to say something nice about my stories and I try to say something nice back to them ASAP.

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

So, I don't really write angst. My real job is pretty depressing (I'm a lawyer for poor people in the midwestern US!) so when I'm writing (or reading) fic, I tend to gravitate towards the sweet, soft, and silly.

That said, I think my most recent fic, "And In the Backseats We Just Tried to Find Some Room to Breath", has a kind of melancholy ending. Although the very last line is a shippy Roudise line because I couldn't help myself, the image I really want to end with- Rudy quietly sitting by himself in the backseat of his father's car looking out the window at the night sky after an emotionally draining evening, it's not angsty but I think it's less warm and fluffy than some of my other stuff.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

That would be the wedding story, I think. Not only are Louise and Rudy totally in love with each other, just married, and having a great time but Mr. Frond realizes that he has had an even bigger impact on his students' lives in ways he hadn't really thought about, and that really means a lot to me, too. I still think the last paragraph or two of that story might be my favorite thing I've written; I just go back and reread it sometimes and feel like a baseball batter watching a home run sail into the upper deck- like I totally nailed that one!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I never have, and I really appreciate it. Everyone I've interacted with in Bob's Burgers fandom on AO3 and Tumbler has been really sweet and chill. One thing that particularly stands out to me is that first fic actually has a minor continuity error in it (I thought that Louise actually told Rudy that Chloe was flirting with him for test answers in "Bob Actually" and only discovered last month that she doesn't give that detail.) Nobody ever mentioned that to me in comments on the fic- every comment I got was just people loving the fic. Either no one noticed this or they didn't care about it enough to throw it in my face, and I appreciate that.

9. Do you write smut?

I never have, but I feel like at some point I probably will end up writing some Rudy/Louise as adults smut. Whenever I have story ideas about them when they are older the ideas inevitably end with them making out, and at some point I'll probably just decide "why stop there?"

For example, the last line of "Old Friends/Bookends" is: "'Of course…', he said, and took he took her by the hand as they eagerly headed to the bedroom." When I was writing that, just for my own amusement with no intention of keeping it in, I added: "And then they boned!" and then immediately deleted that. But, y'know, my mind goes there.

10. Do you write crossovers?

Nope. Not opposed to them, just never had an idea for one.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not to my knowledge.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

So, they were never actually published as fics, but when I was a kid in the early 90s I was really in to "Star Trek: The Next Generation" and developed a number of spinoff series of my own. One, "Starfleet Academy", my cousin and I created together.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I want to make some clever joke here, but I can't think of one. It's Louise/Rudy. 80% of my stories are about them. They are the reason I got into reading and then writing "Bob's Burgers" fanfic, they are the reason I am on tumblr. I've loved "Bob's Burgers" since it started, but the need for more content about them pulled me deeper into this fan community than I've been in anything else in a while.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

I've tried to finish everything that I've started, but I've currently got three unfinished WIPs in Word. The one that is least likely to see the light of day, or will be really significantly reworked if it does, was a story I started this summer about teenaged Rudy being nervous about asking Louise on their first real date and talking to his dad about it. it's called "Dating Advice from Mr. 'I'd Let That Dump Me'" (which I do love as a title).

"The Amazing Rudy" has sort of made me reevaluate the way I thought about Rudy and his dad. I actually had a more positive impression of Sylvester than a lot of fans- at the risk of oversharing, it was because I thought that-even with his flaws- he seemed to be doing the divorced dad thing better than my own dad did. And, after "The Amazing Rudy", I just feel like I'd have to write more about how Rudy and Sylvester's relationship evolved over the years- and how Sylvester grew as a person and a father- to get them to the place I had them in that story. And maybe I'll want to do that at some point, but right now I don't.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Writing stories that other people invariably describe as "cute"! I'm kind of joking, but that does always happen even though I'd say really only one of my written stories was written with the express intention of being cute.

More seriously, I love (and think I'm good at) getting inside characters' heads and really describing their emotions and thought process. Rudy was the first character I wrote about, and I find it easy to get in his head because he reminds me so much of myself as a boy, but when I got compliments for writing from other characters' perspectives- especially Louise's- it made me feel like I really have a knack for that.

I also think I am pretty good at capturing the character's voices in dialogue. I really writing enjoyed "For the Boy Who has (Allergies to) Everything" because it was my first effort at writing Belcher sibling dialogue (and Sgt. Bosco!) and I was pleased with how it turned out.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Plot. I love writing about emotions and writing fun dialogue, but none of my stories have particularly involved plots. The plots are basically just a background to the feelings and/or dialogue. Half of my stories are built directly on actual episodes- I have three that are essentially episode tags, one that's basically a prologue, and one that is a missing scene focused on two background characters.

I have an outline for what would be my most plot intensive project- "Workers of the Wharf, Unite!" a story about Louise as an adult helping the Wonder Wharf employees form a union- and I've got bits of dialogue and thoughts all written out, but then there are big places that just say "stuff happens". I've yet to figure out the stuff that needs to happen. That's the hardest part for me. I hope I do figure it out eventually, because I love the idea and there's a scene I've partially drafted that would be near the end between Bob and Louise that I think would be beautiful and really encapsulates how I see Louise's character and Bob as a father.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language?

I was surprised to realize I did it once! In "The Life of the Symposium (aka Party)", I have Arnold say "Domo arigato" to Kaylee. Which would be about all the Japanese I know. But I thought it made sense for Arnold's character given his love of Karate that he would pick up a little Japanese.

I took German and Spanish at different points in my life but really don't remember much beyond ordering food (German) or asking for directions (Spanish). So, if I ever put another language in a fic, it would most likely be like Tina's song in "The Cook, the Steve, the Gayle, and Her Lover"- basic phrases used for comic effect.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

"Star Trek". This started when I was a preteen and first got into TNG. I came up with several of my own Star Trek spinoffs. First, the incredibly originally titled "Star Trek: The Third Generation", then "Star Trek: Discovery" (sadly or fortunately, no resemblance to the current show of that name beyond the ship being named Discovery), "Starfleet Command" and the Academy show I mentioned with my cousin. Most of this stuff was just done for my own amusement, but I think I may have published some of it on AOL. And I think some of the "episode" titles and summaries (the main thing I wrote) are on 3.5 by 5 floppy disks back at my mom's. (I feel so old typing that sentence knowing how few of the people who will read it will be able to relate. I am Rudy's Dad making the "Party of Five" reference to the hostess who was born in 2002.)

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

I could say the wedding fic or "In the Backseats..." because they both mean a lot to me but I'm going to go with one I haven't mentioned yet "Happy Anniversary (Whenever It Is...)" It was written for a Flufftober prompt and in response to "The Amazing Rudy" and it is the one fic I really wrote with the explicit intent of being cute. It's about high school age Louise and Rudy, who are officially a couple, playfully arguing over what their anniversary date should be. it is loaded with as many callbacks as I could cram into it, and just a lot of fun dialogue. It includes two really nerdy jokes that may be my favorite jokes in any of my stories.

It is also really my love letter to that relationship. Putting aside any shippy/romance aspect, I just think they've done such an amazing job showing those two characters growing closer together in a way that just feels like the natural growth of a friendship. They have such a better understanding of each other, and are so much closer at the end of "The Amazing Rudy" then they were at the end of "Carpe Museum" and you can see that developing logically as a result of other episodes like "The Kids Rob A Train" and "House of 1,000 Bounces", and "The Hawkening", etc. Someday, I may write an essay about that...

Also, I think that story has the vibe of the framing story to one of those clip shows that TV shows used to make (I especially associate them with 80s sitcoms like "Family Ties"). Like it would be:

Louise: What about the wine train...

CUT TO clip from "The Kids Rob A Train"

And as someone who grew up on 80s/90s sitcoms, I actually kind of love that!

#fic stuff #writing stuff #about me #bob's burgers fanfiction #roudise #louwheeze #long post

[andivmg]

(big paragraph rant ahead thanks to madison beer’s memoir)

okay so i finished reading The Half of It today and i have a lot of thoughts. but i’m gonna post just the pages that spoke to me the most in regard to online stuff and rant

i remember 2021 as being literally one of the worst years of my life this far because of twitter (obviously a bunch of personal stuff too but yk). to this day i’m mildly afraid of the internet which is very silly but very real. because of the part of the internet i was “famous” in i was forced to see every single thing people wrote about me and at first it was super fun super cool but it very quickly shifted into people picking me apart for everything i did or said. then i started associating myself with my ex and his circle of people and it only got worse. their audience was welcoming at first but after a week i would see people call me annoying and a pick me on a daily basis. and this was before i got “called out” for some stuff i don’t wanna get into now because i feel like it has been discussed enough but iykyk. so when that happened people latched onto that and to this day i still get the one off rude message about it. and when people tried to stick up for me i was reduced to sex. which was so demeaning in so many different ways. like the only reason i would ever be worth defending was because of my “pussy”. like that was the only thing about me that mattered. and as a woman on TWITCH of all places i was already hearing that enough. it was even more infuriating knowing that my male counterparts had done so much worse than me and faced maybe half the backlash. and even then had their mistakes and behaviors excused to the point of them not having to own up to them at all. as a woman of color i was held to a much higher standard than a lot of my peers. i was expected to know everything and to never make a mistake. so yeah, i wish i had been kinder to myself at the time. because no matter how mean the internet was to me, i was meaner. at the time it literally felt like my life was over. i would go online and only read bad things about myself. it was such a small group of people though, but i was so chronically online that it felt like the whole world was against me. and it sounds dumb and self centered but it’s how it felt as a teenage girl whose whole life was centered around twitter, tiktok, and twitch. once a big group of us went to universal and i tried to stay out of as many pictures as possible. whenever a fan would approach us as a group i would always offer to take the picture for them because i didn’t want to be in any of them. my friends told me i was being dramatic but i was trying to avoid what ended up happening anyway. people quote tweeting the pictures and making comments about me. i expected every fan that came up to either not know who i was (ideally), or worse, to know and hate me.

madison also talked a lot about being paranoid about her personal life being leaked online and talked about and i felt that deeply as well. once on stream i accidentally showed my lock screen (a picture of me and my ex) for like half a second. then immediately after, i ended stream and deleted the vod along with most of the clips but people had already had seen it and a week later my ex called me up mad as hell because people were posting screenshots of it on twitter and he was not happy about it. people were speculating on our relationship and making fun etc. and i just felt so powerless. like nothing i could do or say would change their mind. now i realize it literally does not matter what people say.

anyway yeah clearly madison’s book brought back a lot of memories for me. it was honestly oddly comforting to read. i know so many people that have gone through similar things and it’s never handled well by anyone involved. i feel a lot more comfortable talking about it now and especially here because i know it won’t become a huge thing since i’m irrelevant now and this is old drama. it’s just nice to write to the void sometimes (you guys aren’t a void i promise but yk what i mean). but yeah i’m over most of the stuff that happened that year. my therapist is amazing and helped me through it all. and now i can talk about it without feeling any type of way. it is something that happened. and i am okay now.

in conclusion, i love madison beer

#rant #the half of it #madison beer

[spectres-fulcrum]

Okay tapping out of reading for the night and deleted most of my annoying liveblogging. Still insist the Alex and Eliza stuff is rushed and doesn’t make sense but Duty and Inclination is bound by the story it must tell-history. I still want to irrationally call Hamilton a hyprocritical cheater.

But I also think the story missed the line in the letter where Alex says John urged him to marry in hopes that it would cure his devotion. We didn’t get that.

So they are bound by a fate that the D+I!Alex was not pushed towards, but the real Hamilton was. Alex is acting out of character for a love match, Hamilton moved at least partially cause John pushed him. And I was glad at first John seemed more courageous but also-I expected to get there. To the moment where he pushed Alex away.

So it makes sense. We skipped a step in how we all view Lams. And so this romantic in the shadows Lams does not match with love match Hamilton and Eliza but there’s stuff missing in the reality to fiction pipeline.

It makes sense now that I step back and realized we missed a pivotal part in Alex getting engaged.

It’s honestly super interesting stuff to think about if I’m being honest. Cause in my mind the one thing that guarantees me the fact that real life Hamilton and Laurens was a thing to me was the Schuyler’s black eyes paragraph. Was Hamilton assuring Laurens that he has a part for the public and a part for John-and he had crossed out friends and made it just John. And that Laurens wanting him married was a strange cure for his devotion. That’s my smoking gun.

There is no possible way to view that as platonic. That and the way Hamilton’s marriage is the elephant in the room for the rest of their letters. Never does Laurens send reguards to Eliza although that would’ve been expected.

I’m lowkey of the thought that Washington and Lafayette hid a romantic love in the smokescreen of a familial love but they spoke so warmly of the other’s wives. Begged the other to pass along regards. Lafayette said his wife was in love with Washington and he could not be against such a thing and Washington playfully joked that was it her love Lafayette wrote or Lafayette’s own(I think we all know). It was all so warm. Lots of talking about visits to France, to Mount Vernon to meet all together. Lafayette was one of the five people who got a handwritten reply by Martha after he sent her his condolences in the wake of George’s death(and two of them was the current President and first lady, you do not have an aide reply to them). I definitely got the feeling she understood that he was one of the very few who actually understood her grief and needed the same condolences and assurances for this was a such a grave loss to him too.

It is in that warmth that Laurens’ fridigness towards Eliza hits me the most obviously. He may have pushed Hamilton but he was not happy about it. Or he did not think he would actually lose his heart to another.

We will never know the truth of these eight but just some musings of love hidden by smokescreens, hidden safely behind marriages, inkedcarefully into letters, one that envelopes a whole family, connecting sons and grandsons and the other isolated and hidden.

#duty and inclination #lams #this got long #washette #now i need to find the condolence letters #again #also hamilton’s sucked

[katierosefun]

Hello hello! Big nosy as usual over here but these asks are really great so here's something to ponder over during your precious study break: 💫🪄☯️💝🍭

hiii iva!! thank you for the asks!! // from these asks

💫: what is your favorite kind of comment/feedback?

well, i love your comments, for starters—because i think they get at what i just prize in comments general? just, like, any account of feelings/reaction to a scene that i wrote or any kind of picking apart a specific line and how it works. any deeper analysis is also really nice, although def not necessary, just bc i know fic is an escape for lots of people, and i don’t want people to feel like commenting on fic is work haha! but when that does come in, i do feel very happy

🪄what is your post-writing/sharing aftercare? How do you take care of yourself or celebrate yourself when you've finished a fic?

depending on the time of day, i’ll usually settle down for a movie or an episode of a show i love. i’ve found that in order to keep myself from getting burnt out, it’s just as crucial for me to consume stories as it is for me to write them—so yeah, def reading or watching something is kind of my care post-fic! (and, occasionally, a glass of wine. if i’m living by myself, ofc.)

☯️how do you think engaging with each other through tumblr, twitter, comments, kudos, creates healthy fandom experiences? How do you deal with that if you're not a social person/experience social anxiety?

hm, i think to an extent, it can be helpful! i have only just gotten to answering comments on ao3, and i only got to that point bc i realized that i do love talking to other fandom people—but i only got to that conclusion after really having conversations more often with folks on twitter and tumblr.

however, i do think that like, with anything and everything, it can quickly become p toxic. i have a bit of an anxious and obsessive personality, for example, so ?? i will find that sometimes, i get really nervous about feeling as though i’m coming off more transactional or insincere, and sometimes i find myself thinking “oh boy, if i go quiet for too long, people will no longer find my stories worth reading or noticing” and that’s all definitely very dramatic, but! in those moments, it def helps for me to just. pause, take a step back. take a break, write stuff that makes only me happy. or just delete twitter and tumblr off my phone for a week or two haha

💝what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

ooh. . . maybe shit my friends say because (1) it was my first fic in roughly a month, so when i posted it, i was kind of worried that people were no longer interested in my stories (haha, see above paragraph for my funny brain), and (2) it was one of my shorter fics? and the entire fic is told mostly through the perspectives of minor characters, and i wasn’t sure if that would really appeal to anyone? so i was so pleasantly surprised to find people enjoyed the style and the story overall :’))

🍭why did you start writing?

oh man, if we’re talking writing in general, i def started because i just always loved stories—like, as a little kid, i would scribble in scrap pieces of computer paper (and those scribbles were literally. scribbles. like, crayon and pencil squiggles) of stories that i wanted to tell. imagine my annoyance when i realized i couldn’t remember the story i was thinking of in my head from those squiggles! (and when i learned how to write, like just put together sentences, it was the only thing i was doing—and then, when i was in third grade, my dad realized that “shit, my daughter really loves writing little stories…and she doesn’t have a real notebook” so he gave me one of his old binders, filled it up with paper, and that was my first-ever notebook of stories, one that i didn’t need to like. steal extra little notebooks that they’d give to my kindergarten/first grade/second grade classes lol)

but if we’re talking writing fic, i just really, really loved the idea of adding deleted scenes, moments that could have happened but didn’t. and changing the ending of stories when i wanted them to continue. and i think, like, lol, this is def a TMI, but i was a pretty lonely kid growing up, and like! writing fic felt a bit like i was just hanging out with my friends or something. which maybe sounds a little sad, but i think that really opened up my obsession with dialogue—in that i really wanted it to feel real, not just for myself, but also, i learned as i was posting fic, for other people too? because when i started posting fic, i noticed how there were people who also just seemed to really need a distraction or escape, and i just. also really wanted to provide an escape through my stories too, if i could!

#answered #thank u for the ask ivaaaaa

[niennandil-me-writes]

Fragments of a Cybernetic Mind: Chapter 1 - A New Case

Summary Half a year has passed since the events of Christmas of 2064. The world is slowly adjusting to sentient ROMs. But Turing is distracted from their task as ROM-kind's leader and ambassador by another obligation they carry. They want to deliver Leon Dekker’s last words to his daughter. But first, they’ll have to find her, which doesn’t prove easy. They ask their journalist friend for help, who seems less than thrilled.

Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 (final) Epilogue

CN: panic attacks, trauma

There’s days where the words just flow. Mornings where I sit down with a cup of instant noodles and a Hassy, and before I even know it, it’s evening, and I’ve met my word count four times over. A couple weeks ago Turing had to physically force me to move away from my laptop to have a small snack, and as soon as I’d gulped down the sandwich, I was back at it, hammering at the keyboard which is slowly dying under my rapid typing.

There’s something magical about words. A rhythm in the sentences. Narratives behind the paragraphs. As a child, I always wanted to become an author, until I joined my school’s journalism club, and discovered my true passion: Beauty not in pretty lies, but in a well-spoken truth revealed to a large audience whose eyes I can open. 

And now, after years of taking on any gig I could come by, compromising my integrity, being paid in exposure, I finally have my hands on something truly important. After the first exposé I wrote for OK Today, I got about 10 offers from big name publishers who are begging for the full story, 50 more from smaller houses. I rejected half of them, knowing that they’d be more interested in flashy theatrics or drama than the truth, and then discussed the rest of the offers with my friends, until I ended up signing a contract with one of them, sending them the newest chapters of the book as I’m writing them. They’re happy. For now.

Today the words don’t flow. Their consistency is closer to the sludge in the kitchen sink of my old flat. I write a sentence, delete it, rewrite it, delete it, write the first sentence again, and so it goes on forever and ever. I shift sentences from place to place, only to realize it destroys the entire structure of narrative, like trying to move around a load-bearing pillar while the roof crumbles. 

It’s been like this for a week. Old Hassy cans on my desk, which I have moved around five times so far, hoping a change in perspective would get the creative juices flowing. Instead it just left a couple marks on the floor from the desk’s legs.

My head is in my hands. I have a migraine. I delete the last sentence. Open my mails. Look through the mesh. Back to the writing. I paste the sentence in again.

There’s a knock on the door. I turn around. “Come in.”

The door hesitantly swings open, revealing the small blue ROM I’m sharing my new living spaces with. Their round head barely reaches the doorknob, which they keep holding with their finger digits as they enter the room. “I hope I am not intruding.”

“No, it’s fine, I need a break anyways.” Not entirely true. There’s an itch in my brain at being unable to finish the section I’m working on, but it’s not like I would get it done anyways. 

“How is the work coming along?” Turing asks, laying their little metal finger into a wound they no doubt don’t even realize is there.

I grit my teeth. “Good. Great, really.” I tap my leg. “Actually, you could help me find some synonyms later, I’m running out of ways to say ‘controlling the media’.”

Turing steps closer. “I thought you finished that chapter two weeks ago?”

“Just editing it a bit,” I explain. “I felt it wasn’t really cohesive so far. I want a tight narrative.”

“Well, you are the journalist, so you should know how to do that.” Turing smiles up at me, and I can’t help but join into the smile. There’s something contagious about this little robot’s joy. 

Then their look becomes contemplative. Distant.

“What is it, little guy?” I ask. “You need anything?”

“Well, there is something I wanted to ask your help with...”

“Well, spit it out, what do you need my help with this time?” I tease. “Some other friend of you go missing?”

“No, it’s not quite as serious as that.” They look anywhere but at my face. “And you know I am very grateful for your help in that matter. I am sure everyone is. All of ROM-kind...”

They seem somber in a way that goes far beyond their usual formality. It’s starting to worry me. “It’s alright. Anyone would have done that...”

“But not anyone could have,” Turing insists. “Your role in this went far beyond just helping me. You are a skilled journalist. You know how to pry, how to retrieve information hidden to most casual observers. Which is why, even though I hate to burden you with this while you are still in the middle of your writing work - work that is integral to our quest to get the newly sentient ROMs accepted in society and to inform the public about the transgressions of Parallax – I have to say, you are the only person I would trust with this endeavor.”

As much as I enjoy them stroking my ego, I interrupt them: “Turing, you’re rambling again. Which endeavor?”

“It is true that I am looking for a specific person again. Someone who isn’t easy to find and who many people have no doubt done their best to make unfindable. This search, however, will not get us in any danger even close to our last adventure at Christmas. And we don’t have any actual time limit.”

I am noticing they haven’t mentioned a name yet. Though I can guess who it might be. “Who are we looking for, Turing?”

“Well...” They shuffle around. “I just want to stress again that I wouldn’t be asking this of you if I hadn’t already exhausted most of my other options. I have talked to TOMCAT and Lexi, and both – “

“Turing, I swear to god, if you don’t tell me right now, I’m assuming you want me to hunt down Fairlight.” Wouldn’t be my first guess, though.

“It’s not that.” They sigh, still a weird sight to behold from a ROM. Then they finally spit it out: “I want to find Dekker’s daughter.”

Silence falls in the room, broken only by the rumbling of my laptop’s ventilation. 

“Why?” I finally ask.

“Do you remember what he said before he died?” Turing’s voice is faster now, nervous.

I force a laugh that comes out dry. “He said a lot of things. Mainly what he wants to do with my entrails.” I cross my arms. Despite the summer heat, I’ve got goosebumps.

“I mean his last words. Right before he died.”

“Turing, I don’t – “

“He said he wanted to tell his daughter he’s sorry,” Turing interrupts me. “And I feel like it is my duty to pass on those words.”

I turn towards my desk, so I don’t have to face them. I bite my tongue. Why is my heart racing? It’s been months. And he’s dead. Deader than he was back then.

“I tried finding her on the mesh,” Turing explains without noticing my state. “But of course, his wife didn’t keep the same name, so even if they are somewhere, we wouldn’t find them under his name. And even when I searched more diligently, it was no use. It’s like Lexi said, all his records about him and his past are heavily redacted and/or classified. Lexi could get me some more access under the table, so to speak, but still, nothing. I retrieved some of his hardware and with TOMCAT’s help was able to search his memory data for clues, and it was they who suggested – “

“Wait, hang on a second,” I interrupt. “You’ve looked through his memories?”

“I felt it was the best way – “

“How? You said something about hardware?”

Turing shrinks together. “Lexi was – I was able to retrieve some of his undamaged memory disks that were stored in the police precinct as evidence. Don’t worry, they don’t need them right now, and they have all the data - ”

“Where are they?”

Turing falls silent.

“Turing, are you telling me you kept his – you kept a part of Leon Dekker’s – the man who tried to murder me for his own fun – you kept this guy’s brain in our house?”

“I only have some of the data!” Turing tries to assure me. “The disks are at TOMCAT’s. They are still working their way through them, trying to extract as much as possible while circumventing the damage done to them.”

“Okay.” I breathe in. I breathe out. I still feel sick. “Okay.” I stare down at my laptop. “I’m sorry, Turing. I...” I close my eyes. I’m in the server room again. The smell of ozone. The buzz of electricity. Breathing. Breathe in. Breathe out. The taste of blood on my tongue.

I open my eyes. Stare at my laptop’s screen. The opened writing document. The empty page where one of the last chapters should be. I hold my head in my hands. Run my fingers through my hair. A bird is singing outside.

Turing is saying my name. They have been for a while, I realize. “Is everything alright?” Their voice is heavy with worry. “Should I call your therapist? A doctor? Lexi?”

“No, it’s...” It isn’t alright. “Can you make me some hot chocolate, please?”

Turing nods and is about to vanish out the door.

“And Turing!” I call after them. They stop, turn around, face screen still all worry. “I’ll help you find her.”

A grin spreads over their screen. “Thank you, it is much appreciated.”

I smile as well. Truly contagious.

#my writing #fanfic #read only memories #2064 read only memories #2064rom #alys #turing webber #leon dekker #fragments of a cybernetic mind #i have taken a break from writing about my sad murder man to write about the sad murder man who inspired him instead

[articlesofnote]

a true original

so I spend a lot of time thinking, just letting the brain do its thing while it spends whatever effort it needs to spend on keeping my heart beating and operating my sweat glands and whatever. and, wow, do I want to go back and redo that first paragraph, but I won't, for reasons which may (or may not) become clear. y'see, just a minute ago I watched a youtube (id: aCZ1CFRwhQI) which is from some internet guy talking about The Wire. the Algorithm knows that I like The Wire, so I guess that's why I got this one. it's a li'l eight-minute video precis about this one shot, where the camera pulls back and there's a shit-ton of cans on a roof. it was an ok video! it had some new information for me, about one of the showrunner's philosophy about how the camera should work, and a new way (to me) of articulating that philosophy: the idea of "what the camera knows." but, the analysis of the shot itself was pretty thin sauce. the guy who made the video also got some characters names wrong! which is Very Irritating for a pedant like me. so I'm thinking about this video, and my reaction to it. i'm thinking, particularly, about whether it is possible - and if possible, desirable - to contribute actually original perspectives into the world. i feel that, yes, it's possible but really fucking challenging, because there's a lot of people saying a lot of things about a lot of stuff. and yes, it's desirable, because otherwise nothing ever changes, and culture becomes more and more homogeneous as everybody comments on the comments on the comments on... the comments on some cultural artifact that represented an Original Perspective on Something. and homogeneity is bad! I think! i'm pretty sure? but, also, for something to be commentary it has to exist in such a way that some audience somewhere can understand it; they have to have enough of the contextual pieces already that they can see the connection that the commentary is trying to make. something actually original would definitionally be impossible to understand, since nobody would have a frame of reference for it, so whatever else it might be, it would be bad commentary. so, this video. am I the audience? maybe - I watched it, I thought it was ok, I got something out of it. probably an ok use of eight-ish minutes. i've wasted time in much dumber ways. but i feel like the only response I have to something like that is to make another video being like "here's MY take on that shot" - and it would have basically 99% of its DNA in common with the video it was a response to. it hardly feels like I could contribute something meaningful. and those are two concepts I didn't expect to find linked in my mind - that Meaningfulness is so closely synonymous with Originality that I'll just use the one when I've been talking about the other. so, okay, what I care about is meaning... and, christ, that sounds so goddamn banal when I actually write it out. like, no shit I care about meaning? on the other hand, though, why feel bad about just saying that? like i've committed a faux-pas or something. where the hell did these rules in my mind come from? i guess, you know, cliche is bad... didn't realize I'd internalized that so strongly! which brings us back to that first paragraph - i feel like what I wrote is some weird-ass way to try and acknowledge that the Cartesian mind-body dualism is horseshit, in my own words - i.e. to actually contribute an original expression! about a thought that matters to me! that is, to acknowledge and express something that I find meaningful, albeit in an obscure way. and my IMMEDIATE and NEARLY OVERWHELMING instinct was "do not, should not, cannot write this, delete now, bad" - and i'm fighting that instinct AGAIN, thinking about actually posting this - so like, damn, thank you random youtuber for making a kinda mediocre video about something I like, so I could have some feelings about it, then have some feelings about the feelings, then write about the feelings about the feelings in this tumblr post. thank you, in other words, for helping me feel okay about saying something original EDIT: also, lmao, the beta editor had a bug and wouldn’t let me post this at first

[quaddmgd]

Yesterday, I finally deleted my Twitter account after yet another data leak. Boss Baby's decisions after acquiring this platform made me create this blog and try to move here in the first place, so leaks were only a cherry on top.

My girlfriend helped me with moving to tumblr and the way she talked about it made me think about my social media presence in general. Of course, most users here don't need an explanation as to why tumblr is better and all that, but its merits are what exactly made think about myself.

I realized that I always posted for myself first and foremost. I had a blogspot about handheld consoles, I wrote non-profit reviews for my relative's gaming website, I even started posting screenshots on Steam with some creative descriptions and all that.

Had a short relationship with instagram, but people using it, even my close family, quickly made me hate it for how artificial the world there seems to be. If I didn't spend enough time personalizing my experience, it probably takes too long for my liking.

I got a little bit older, 18 to be exact, when I started to look through twitter. Following my favorite indie game developers and gimmick accounts - had a good time with it. The problem started when I started posting stuff.

Twitter's algorithm is aggressive, to put it lightly. Every time you post something and mention a thing, that thing will flood your feed almost instantly. That's why I would never say anything about, say, a spider I saw. While further personalization improves the experience, you won't ever get rid of things you simply don't want to hear about. On top of that you'll sure get the most liked, commented, quote-tweeted stuff imaginable - it helps with reading news, but it brings a lot of bad takes that sometimes are on the verge of malicious. That way you will never fully control what you see on your feed. Sometimes even filtering keywords doesn't help, mostly with traumas, as there are multiple ways to censor trigger words and twitter users will sure use them all.

A trivial example, but it shows just how annoying your Twitter experience can be. I bought myself a new Xbox console and posted about what I like and don't like about it. While those posts were very occasional, console war zealots from both sides started to appear in my feed on a regular basis - posts that take out all the joy I get from gaming. While I mostly posted about video games without including platforms I played on, I never got rid of console wars.

Even if you never talked about, say, us politics, you'll surely get them on your feed, you'll get notified about voting, you'll get unhinged posts from people who are famous simply for being rich; and you'll see many dramas over stuff that shouldn't matter. That last thing makes you really think about what you post. Even if you won't offend anyone, someone can always shame you for your tastes or you gushing over stuff "too much". Once I even got shamed by a self-proclaimed ✨ Rockstar Games Community member ✨ for playing Red Dead Online, accusing me of "playing it for the sake of keeping it alive".

Back to first paragraphs of this post - a rectification! I didn't start thinking about my social media presence after creating tumblr, but it made me summarize all the little thoughts and irritations that appeared in my head throughout my entire "career". After my gf introduced me to tumblr, it confirmed my belief that I used social media correctly, but, for reasons beyond the subject of this post, most social media websites have irredeemable flaws.

But I post for myself and I will gush over my V from CBP77, my RDO character, Lady from DMC all I want and I'll continue to ramble about stuff no-one will ever take an interest in. It helps me clear my head, it makes me feel fulfilled and I love reading my old posts - it's like a time capsule and, as long as I have the strength for that, I'll continue to fill it with stuff that is important to me!

P.S. As for Twitter's few benefits: I'm using nitter to follow gaming news and game developers without having an account or interacting with toxic people if I'll ever see them. No algorithm there, you have to search for people you already know - no random posts and malicious javascript stuff.

#twitter #text.qd

[crispy-chan]

I posted 1,355 times in 2022

400 posts created (30%)

955 posts reblogged (70%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@crispy-chan

@chanstopher

@decembermoonskz

@chogiwow

@myvalzpival

I tagged 1,332 of my posts in 2022

Only 2% of my posts had no tags

#rbs 🧃 - 463 posts

#stray kids 🪐 - 383 posts

#srb 📌 - 213 posts

#jas bambles 🎐 - 186 posts

#mail 💌 - 179 posts

#moots 🏷 - 125 posts

#loml - 114 posts

#memes 🧹 - 75 posts

#games 🎲 - 72 posts

#ot8 - 71 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#what got me was that paragraph about reader regretting they didn’t spend more time w/ him // didn’t keep more letters and take more pictures

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

felix navidad | lee felix

❧ pairing: prince!felix x gn.baker!reader

❧ genre: fluff, mild angst; royal!au, baking contest!au, s2l

❧ wc: 5k

❧ warnings: language, typical royal problems (servants, children working, etc), it's implied that reader's parents aren't in the picture (PG)

❧ summary: when the crown prince asks you, a lowly baker, to help him win the annual baking competition, you can't resist the sweet deal he proposes. during the course of 14 days, lee felix learns that there are as many ways to mix batter as there are ways to fall in love with you.

❧ a/n: hello guys <3 please welcome this surprise not really fic I wrote for brennan. it was a lot of fun getting to know her and I highly recommend you check out her blog!! this fic is a part of @freckledwinterfalls 's secret Santa event . tysm xie for hosting such a fun event !!

❧ to @seoulbinz: hiii brennan <3 I'm your secret Santa!! i really enjoyed talking to you and getting to know you, even if I didn't know you (other than seeing you occasionally interact with a few people I know) prior to the event!! you're really sweet and I feel really lucky that I got to be your secret Santa. anyways, I hope you enjoy this little piece. here's a funny story, I actually deleted (accidentally) half the draft yesterday so I had a late night typfest lmfao. after that, when I went to post, the tags on tumblr were officially #brocken so I hope you don't mind that I waited till the morning to post this. this also turned out a lot longer than I expected so I'm really sorry for that (I ballparked it around 2k lol). anyways, I'm sending you all my hugs <3 I hope you enjoy this and stay safe <3

masterlist

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394 notes - Posted January 2, 2022

#4

stray kids as jobs they would be doing if they weren’t in a band

bang chan. goes through college on a swimming scholarship. eventually finds his passion for music and cooks up some sick beats in his basement. first hit song is obviously wow. has an ig account where he posts sweaty gym pics.

lee minho. fisher by day and cat choreographer by night. in the evening rich aunties drop off their cats at his place and he teaches them some sick moves.

seo changbin. professional gym trainer/life coach turned underwear model. got kicked out of his first job bcs his clients were discouraged by his guns 💪

hwang hyunjin. street artist who eventually got scouted to hand out perfume samples in the mall. that year the store's sales nearly tripled.

han jisung. failed stand-up comedian/weatherman for some unimportant local tv station. his side hustle consists of selling wrinkle creams and vitamin shots over the phone to your grandma.

lee felix. fortnite twitch streamer who goes viral over his pretty freckles and deep ass voice. dabbles in asmr but ultimately decides that he's better off without all those weirdos in the comments.

kim seungmin. choir singer studying to become a prosecutor. his first client is suing han jisung for false advertising.

yang jeongin. instagram fashion influencer studying to become an elementary school teacher. joins a content house but quickly leaves after realizing it's just a bunch of dumb fucks who film thirst traps and walk around the house shirtless.

405 notes - Posted August 19, 2022

#3

a guide how to not f*ck over your writers

hello, i am joining the bandwagon with my own two cents on how tumblr interactions have gone from shit to lower shit.

first of all, let me just stress how much i appreciate readers who interact with fanfics. you guys are the true mvp's and i applaud you for doing god's work. (also let's be real a significant portion of those readers are fic writers themselves).

second of all, i want to say that i'm not trying to be “ungrateful” or sound like a prick, i just see so many writers leave this site because they feel unappreciated, alone or they think that nobody enjoys the fics they work hard on.

honestly, there were/are times where i think if this is even worth it. i get so much enjoyment from this, it's a hobby that allows me to be creative, to escape reality and have a little fun. yet i feel like what i'm doing is just good for nothing since it seems like people are allergic to me on this site.

it truly means a lot to us when you guys interact. it doesn't even have to be much, just a short comment, but it can still make our day

now onto the ways you can support your fave writers:

1. interact with the fics -- comment, reblog, send asks. trust me, you can't go wrong with this one. don't be afraid to send an incoherent wordspill or type out that essay in caps lock where you go nuts about your favorite scenes, comment on the characters and their development or compliment the author's writing style. again, i guarantee you'll receive answers that are similarly incoherent as the author tries to not lose their shit bcs what the fuck? someone is finally interacting with my stories

2. recommendations -- you can rec fics to networks for various events, send your recs to your moots or maybe even to fic rec accounts who accept recommendations. even by reblogging - you're already basically doing this. it can make our day when we see that someone recommended something we worked on to someone else :)

3. interaction -- usually, most authors on here wouldn't mind more asks that don't even have to be about fics. you can ask how their day was, talk to them about a favorite book/movie/song literally whatever. i feel like i don't really have much to say on this topic cause i don't really get these types of asks :} but yeah, i think most of us would feel really touched if people wanted to talk to us outside of our writings. note: if you're shy, you can go on anon :> it's there for a reason :P

4. criticism -- now be careful - this one is tricky. you should first make sure if the person is okay with you giving some constructive criticism. if it isn't mentioned anywhere on their page/at the bottom of their fic, just ask. i for one wouldn't mind hearing things like “just a suggestion but i think you could work on your descriptions more” or “be careful - you often use the same words in one paragraph” etc.

lastly, i wanted to stress that you shouldn't force yourself per se to do these. nobody wan't your feedback if it isn't genuine. i just feel like people think “oh well if i won't comment, i'm sure somebody else will-” bullshit! that's the problem here. this mindset is what has to change. if you want the writing community to not wither into dust, you'll have to give something. in this case it's interactions and feedback.

i won't go into the details of how long it takes to write but as someone who writes primarily long fics, i can tell you it's extremely time consuming. and i spent the past fifteen minutes typing this post instead of working on yellow wood @_@

so yeah, this is a desperate cry from me. i'm hoping that if you're a silent reader/serial liker who doesn't leave feedback, you'll learn something new here. thank you for reading so far and i hope you have a lovely day <3

417 notes - Posted July 13, 2022

#2

happier ៚ h.js

❝ I like to think of happiness as a visiting friend. It doesn't have to be something big or grandiose but it comes out of the blue when you need it the most. ❞

៚ PAIRING. han jisung x gn!reader

៚ GENRE. fluff, angst; college!au, s2l, f2l, (hurt) comfort, romance, drama

៚ WARNINGS. language, food, discussions of mental health and allusions to anxiety and/or depression, crying, misunderstandings (not between the main pairing), (PG-13)

៚ WORD COUNT. 20k

៚ SUMMARY. after volunteering to become a subject for jisung's psychology final, you assume your monotonous life will simply go on. but suddenly, there's a lot more drama in your life and you feel yourself plummeting. but there's hope - especially when jisung vows to change that, taking you on fun 'dates' in order to restore your faith in happiness and show you why life is truly worth living.

៚ A/N. asksjskjs i am back from the dead with this shorter fic for my beloved ji . this piece is a bit more personal to me so i hope i did it justice <3 tysm @dini-chu for the lovely banner :3 and thank you @r1oboxv for beta reading the beginning of the fic (you can tell that the quality of the first two parts is way better than the rest lol), you're like a professional editor lmao; @intotheneozone and @celestialgyu for going over the rest <3 nala your comments were really helpful and so funny at times gaaah :')) and the ficscafe ensemble for helping me out with specific parts i felt stuck on, tysm guys T.T

MASTERLIST

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432 notes - Posted September 4, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

A Song of Ice and Fire

❝ they say the crimson king is as ruthless as the freezing winters of your land...❞

𓏲 PAIRING. prince!minho x princess!reader (ft. guard!jisung x reader)

𓏲 GENRE. fluff, angst; royalty!au, fire-bender!minho & ice-bender!reader, historical drama, action, romance, love triangle/forbidden romance, arranged marriage!au, subzero!au

𓏲 WORD COUNT. 35k

𓏲 WARNINGS. language, mild violence, minho is a jerk at first, cliche asf, mildly suggestive, a brief allusion to assault (but it's stopped before anything happens), blood, injuries and tending to them (i am not a doctor), food, mentions of war and famines, poison, mentions of death, reader gets carried around and has hair that can be put in a ponytail, petnames, includes the rest of skz as various people (TV-14)

𓏲 SUMMARY. when you agreed to marry the prince of the crimson clan in order to sign a peace treaty, it feels like your entire life is crumbling down in front of your eyes. forced to move to another kingdom, you're afraid of being shackled in a loveless marriage. minho's reputation precedes him, and the stories you've heard aren't exactly great. yet the seemingly perfect kingdom has many secrets, along with a dark history that goes beyond anything you would've imagined...

𓏲 A/N.  ot related to GoT at all!! just liked the title lol. inspired by the webtoon subZero. this is just a flaming pile of garbage lmfao - i started this fic back in july but i only got like 1k before i gave up. then, i recently picked this story back up since i didn't want to give up on it. a lot of effort went into this, but i recognize that this story isn't perfect. i came to a realization of how much i despise my writing style while i was writing this :<. i'm a tad bit afraid that only like two people will read lol but oh well, we shall see :) on a lighter note, i really hope you enjoy and please don't forget to lmk your thoughts as i'll literally jump with joy :> side note: the reader comes from the azure clan but the royal guard is caled the cerulean guard.

𓏲 SPECIAL THANKS TO. @luvseos for beta reading the prologue-ish part, tysm!! (also, i'm so so sorry i am not able to tag you so i assume you deactivated :( ) @hyuukais and @kurosism for going over the first part of the fic! thank you guys a lot and i really appreciate all of your nice comments and suggestions <3 big thanks to @sw1mmingfoolz for reading through the first part! thank you for all your sweet comments :> and @celestialgyu​ for going through the entirety of this. I was nearly gonna start crying in the dms tysm <3 @seung-scrittore oh my god leo you are a savior for going through this entire monster!! thank you! i can't stress it enough how grateful i am <33 i really appreciate it :< also sorry for having to correct shitty typos and my malfunctioning grammar lmfao @chaninfused furat thank you for listening to my rambles as i was losing it on main lol. it was really nice and helpful talking to you, especially as your (self proclaimed) no 1 stan lol. also shout out to your arab prince! minho cause i'm still on the agenda and i can't deny i thought of him while writing this. go read danse macabre  for some quality prince!minho (and great plot) @choihaiyun for the amazing banner idea/creation <3

MASTERLIST

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675 notes - Posted May 25, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #Aksksksksksksk finally it loaded lol #I also didn’t realize how this only counted post from this year lol idk why #But slay