#i just dont like that specific take because it is just actually vile to me. i would take a literal possession headcanon of that.

[pyrriax]

if i see the words "split personality" one more time i think i will explode.

#haunted ecosystem #genuinely i cannot fucking stand it #this is about that one c!owen headcanon i cannot fucking stand it okay. stop headcanoning villains with villainized disorders if it's just #so that you can do a roundabout retcon i honestly just. cannot. #okay normally i do not get upset on tumblr but i needed to just. get that out of my system. #tumblr recommended me a bad take post im going to carry on being normal now #i just dont like that specific take because it is just actually vile to me. i would take a literal possession headcanon of that. #remind me to delete this later

[mossy-rainfrog]

Build A Cowboy Round 5!

Hi good evening sorry for vanishing OK SO i mentioned in the tags of my first poll that this cowboy is not just going to be a vaguely historical cowboy, but from a Very specific time frame, because of the fic that his partner Javi exists in. That being said, there is a lot to unpack here with this! The time period exactly is 1841, the setting is Texas (because I am texan and we are predictable) and oh my god this is one of the most insane times for a character to be from texas 😭

Our cowboy will have in fact lived through the Mexican War of Independence (1810-1821), the Texas Revolution (1835-1836), tx's CRINGEFAIL attempt at self governing, rapidly approaching our annexation into the US in 1844-5, and then coming right up on the fuckign CIVIL WAR in 1861. These guys deeply understand the concept of "get me the fuck out of the interesting times, im sick of the interesting times". im so sorry cowboys, you can blame Herman Melville for this.

anyways yall didnt come here for a history lesson but you are in fact going to get one because i am insufferable first and an artist second :) and also as a note, race and backstory are always intertwined things but Especially when it is fuckign 1841 so. yeah exercise caution, there will be discussion of racism, medical close-calls, and anti-indigenous genocide. PLEASE ACTUALLY READ THE BACKGROUNDS BEFORE CHOOSING ONE! you dont have to read the sources. those are just there because i have autism. 👍

DETAILS BELOW THE READMORE BC I GOT WAYYY TOO WORDY⬇️

BACKSTORY A: Black Cowboy fled Texas* to Oklahoma with his family after the revolution, now travels up the trade routes breaking wild horses, passing along abolitionist messages, and assisting refugees. A miracle baby surviving a cleft lip with limited surgery and sustained permanent hearing damage as a result, he took up the trade of horsebreaking with flying colors, keeping right up with his older brothers. A sharp shot, keen eye, and a talented horseman, his best trained horses help him identify sounds that he otherwise can't hear. Loosely familiar with PSL, but primarily used a mix of lip-reading, localized/community generated sign growing up.

* After the US aided Texas in staging a coup against Mexico and declaring independence, an ordinance passed in 1836 that fully banished free Black people from the region unless they had personal pardon from Congress. This ordinance was not passed without pushback, and it changed shape and restriction over the years as people of color such as Joseph Tate, John and Charity Bird, Diana Leonard, Allen Dimery, and more all fought for their right to their own lands and lives. The law eventually settled into what was known as the Ashworth Act in 1840, which allowed free Black people to stay IF they had been residing in the state before 1836. It certainly wasn't the victory many had hoped, and even though many free Black persons in Texas were granted pardon to stay, like the Ashworths who the act was named after, many others were forced to leave after their allotted time was up, and were threatened with the future of slavery should they return. thank you texas history for being a vile piece of shit 👍

BACKSTORY B: Mexican/Tejano Vaquero from West Texas whose family has been ranching and cattle driving for decades. Has no interest in moving post-revolution, fuck you very much. If the borders are going to cross his family without asking*, then there's no need to cross them back. Technically lives with his family, but spends extensive periods of time away from home on cattle drives. Steady-handed, steadfast, quick to keep his herd safe. Miraculously survived a cleft lip as a baby and sustained permanent hearing damage** as a result, but that didn't stop his father from teaching him everything he knew, nor our man from taking to it like a fish to water. Knows more about cattle driving than you will ever forget.

*Some brief notes on the borders shifting and alienating people in their own rightful land.

**There was no official sign language of Mexico until the first Deaf school was established in 1869, but he and his family likely have a community-based one that works for them.

BACKSTORY C: Coahuiltecan (specifically Payaya)* cowboy, farrier, and leatherworker. Picked up the line of work as family was pushed to assimilate, one of the few still claiming Coahuiltecan identity at this time**, and has made a good living for himself and his sisters with it. Like the others, miraculously survived a cleft lip as a child but sustained permanent hearing damage as a result. Knows Plains Indian Sign fluently, and also relies on the direction of his horse for picking up sudden sounds before he can spot them. Tries to keep his work as local as possible to avoid separation from family for long, and whenever that is necessary, makes sure to come back soon.

*Note: Coahuiltecan is a term referring to several northern-Mexican and southern-Texan autonomous groups with distinct cultural differences. However, since Spanish and French colonizers lumped these groups together, an immense amount of distinguishing knowledge has since been lost.

** Also note: the Tāp Pīlam Coahuiltecan Nation is still very much around today (check out their site!) but nearing the mid 19th century, people at least claiming/listing this heritage on legal documents dwindled immensely for a variety of reasons.

#build a cowboy #polls #mossy art #described #collaborative character design #also yes i know cleft lip lost the last poll but i dont care. im including both. its my poll and i get to do voter fraud #anyways my god this is a fucking tx history lecture in a tumblr post. sorry everyone #i checked out 9 books from the library for this #but yeah heehoo!! here we goo again #id in alt

[adwox]

i dont really care for human AUs of mega man characters but a zerox-centric college AU is actually so funny to me

-X graduates at the top of his class is therefore able to shave one year off at college, so hes put in the sophomore year dorms and his roommate is zero

-zero only went to college cause his stupid dad WAS a professor at university, but he got shitcanned halfway through his first term cause wily publicly cursed zero out for not paying attention in class

-light ended up being wilys replacement, to which neither X nor zero knew about until one day during parents weekend they both arrive to their boys dorm room at the same time. and yes they are bitter exs just like in the real games

-zero is a trustfund baby i said what i said. he kind of does not gaf about college at all but he is a dedicated D1 athlete and does work on the campus coffee shop (its the only place he will actually end up doing his homework because he functions best in a loud environment)

-X is duel-majoring because light has subconsciously put a lot of pressure on him especially after his oldest sibling blues dropped out very early on. rock never went to college because seeing what blues went through kind of freaked him out. roll plans on attending one day but is currently working to save up money first and also she just kind of doesnt feel like it yet. X is the worlds first youngest sibling to have eldest daughter syndrome

-despite being in the same graduating class, zero is still technically older, so X looks up to him as an upperclassmen. zero does feel an obligation to show him the ropes so he does look after him for a good while during X's first semester but he soon realizes firsthand just how capable he is

(non-hard drug talk below)

-neither of them ironically share vices, since they both make the respective other anxious. X is a wake and bake kind of guy, zero is a Drinks black coffee an hour before midnight person

-X only recently tried coffee again because zero made him a lavender latte specifically for him. even tho it was decaf, X still felt like his heart was about to jump out of his throat which he felt SO bad about since he knew zero specifically made it for him. and this happened within the first week of the term so they hadnt known each other that well, so X was very very embarrassed knowing zero was just watching him shake like a little leaf. though zero found it all rather amusing

-zero never smoked before because bass was a chronic smoker and it kind of turned him off since they didnt really get along for a while (theyre on much better terms now, they soulbond over wily causing them grief these days). X offers to roll for zero on the very first weekend cause in his mind X is like: college sophomore, how to get on good terms? offer free weed. Unfortunately a few hits in zero is white-knuckling his kneecaps and doing everything in his power not to throw up. he learned the hard way then and there that he is too paranoid for that shit, and while X felt so incredibly guilty for a while, he did feel it let them both become closer faster since zero did need to let his guard down to let X take care of him that evening

(end drug talk)

-X goes to every game zero is in (i really like the idea of the sport zero plays being hockey but idk if theres D1 hockey teams in college Lol) despite knowing nothing about the sport rules

-X finds out vile is actually on the same sports team as zero which is SO awkward for him since they had VERY briefly dated before X realized just how incompatible they were. whenever vile puts two and two together about who X's roommate is, let it be known he will be scheming........

-X joins the improv club because he feels he struggles a lot with making decisions on the fly, but to his surprise hes very great at adapting to other people! zero, who kind of used to think it was a rather silly club, ends up sitting in on some of their performances and finds it quite endearing

-also the first bonding moment X and zero have is when zero notices X hang up a photo of rush on their corkboard and is like: "oh shit i like your dog. i have one too. (shows photo of treble) i mean technically hes my older brothers but hes the only one that cares to make that distinction." X responds immediately full of newfound excitement: "no way, i have an older brother too! well, two of them. and an older sister.... but since i was the last one to leave the house, i always felt like i was taking care of them whenever theyd come back." IMMEDIATE soul bonding over family dynamics ensue

#megaman #mmx #xzero #i am NOT reading what i ranted about cause its just ideas floating at the top of my head. will maybe add more later #like maybe stuff w the navigators idk idk idk #ME BEING LIKE yeah college AUs arent that intereting to me i dont like them. anyway hes WALLS OF TEXT #>mine_>text

[grahamcarmen]

Do you think gray ever ended up killing anyone, i've seen 2 takes on this:-

He did.

Since he knew carmen would be upset after seeing her reaction, powered the crackle rod to stun mode. I like both, the first gives way for great character exploration as "Sabor a mi" and the second is very believable. What do you think?

😭I wanna say no cause I like him ( Carmen standing directly behind me as his defense lawyer)

But in terms of stray thoughts on this (sorry if they're scattered on pro v con)

That roof on the train does indeed have a hole in it so for the time she was out exploring the world before she was carmen there was a wild gray on the loose with a crackle rod strong enough to break and burn on impact

He may say he doesn't regret anything but actually trying to hurt carmen specifically but gray does have his own sense of guilt when prodded about the philosophies he's adopted on the train at least

Especially when you "steal lives" which you could take as only referring to the attempt they're talking about at the moment or...

And as we see later this + carmen does result in the permanent stun mode when nobody knew (aka had nothing to do with carmen until the moment she used it)

No matter how CAPABLE of violence he actually seems to shy away from fights or kills he doesn't need to seem to take and like i don't see EVERY mission needing to mean bodies on the floor if you're just a good thief who doesn't get caught. Which he is. Even if it is VILE.

That being said there's not a zero possibility that he was put in another situation to kill a witness and he...would.

He doubles down on pushing through to the idea that this is his nature :/

Lmao he's lucky those guns at acme are stun gun equivalents. He is efficient and ruthless when taking them down.

O.o or maybe he knew? Idk how much difference that would make at that point in time

Hes bellums boy. It doesn't happen all the time but there are shown to be occasions for VILE faculty to call favorite agents for certain missions. Most Bellum missions have huge collateral damage potential

VILE does have that no loose ends rule at all

That being said this show has only given me 1 corpse. And its acme's. 1 1/2 if we count our poor almost barbecued gray (and that was VILE's but only if the agent on site was a traitor)

Those people at the dig that tigress and le chevre knocked out in ep 2 are...just knocked out to me. Like idk they wake up with a bad headache and stolen digsite with zero memories of who did it . Sorry I dont even count the cleaners as menace (sorry you guys are efficient and have a scary reputation i promise 😔✌)

Heck actually a lot of the crackle rods we see are at stun mode naturally(gray is always having to dial it up, eel did not die, carmen presumably did not kill the guards around gray☆ or even the 6 months she was dark! Kill count is not mentioned among her crimes and she's really ready to pounce on witnesses)

Counter point HE DOES DIAL IT UP ON SCREEN matching carmen for 2 attempts we can see and only fails because carmen is carmen ♡

Define...necessary to use for him?

No idea when he did the permanent stun mode . could have been immediately getting back could have been mid dark! Carmen era or the week before he turns himself in

I actually might think he'd be ok not needing to use the crackle rod and just taking comfort in the menace/power it projects ok

Like not even a carmen told him to way but a he takes a bit of time canonically way

But if its "necesary"...

TLDR: personally lean towards no (knee jerk blorbo biased reaction) and especially in dark! Red era even if we don't know when the permastun was enforced but im not against exploring the idea because its not impossible that he did come across the situations he "had " to offscreen before the train? Boy is a pretty efficient agent. And he's...capable.

#asks #sorry for waffling but i dont usually think of gray as killer on his offscreentime despite knowing hes absolutely capable #call that carmen effect☆ #he did...some things wrong... #i can see him beating the crap outta someone tho

[198d]

cw for this rambling post since i talk about sexual predation and harassment targeting teenagers as it concerns myspace and scene/emo/pop punk nonsense. its not particularly scholarly or anything just shit i keep thinking about lately

still fascinated by scene/emo revival shit i see from people younger than me, being that it was my year-older sister who was really into the scenemo shit in middle school and pop punk in high school and we were both pretty young during its height of popularity. specifically in the idolization of myspace, warped tour, etc. being pretty idealistic because they never actually interacted with it themselves. its not like i dont have an interest in the 2000s as a space of music, and the way that myspace was had an effect with regards to how musicians shared and marketed their works. but there was still plenty of drama, bullying, bigotry, and sexual abuse which becomes pretty clear when doing actual research. or if you were there. and being harassed was both inter-community and from external sources.

part of it seems to be a veneration of the idea of a simpler time before a more 'homogenized' online experience, but myspace still was social media that fell into the same trappings as its contemporaries and later successors with regards to user data, spam, stalking... maybe it's the idea that doing something as a stupid teenager was less permanent because... well a lot of myspace garbage is lost/forgotten.

but people who were teenagers on myspace still got shit for being teenagers on myspace, you get me? and they still got doxxed and targeted for drama-fiending. there's pretty notable fucking cases of this that i remember. I was as old as some of the victims were when they happened, and im sure some of them still get shit for being victims to this day.

musicians in this culture predating on teenage girls was actually A BIG DEAL in conversation with warped tour... because who do you think were taking advantage of the young audiences they marketed themselves to, and where did they have the biggest opportunity to do so?

I just think its naive to have this really sanitized view of how things were on the internet for young people then, and really just the entire culture around emo/scene and pop punk in general here. i suppose that only makes sense. but the 'community' fucking sucked then and was filled with predatory and vile behavior that went unchecked, just like a lot of communities centered around shitheads have and will continue to suck. that's just not something you can escape by going backwards or forwards in time even if you want to believe that you would be left unscathed by it.

maybe its more uncomfortable knowing that some of the people that remain nostalgic for this period and were actually there are those washed-up sex offenders lamenting on how you can't be offensive anymore

#born in hearts etched in cold

[primetimes-primetime]

alright. so, i know ive already made a post about this on my main, but im stupid and went to the original tweet and just made myself angry again.

TW// T-CEST UNDER THE CUT

alright, so a couple days ago i rbed a screenshot of a certain story board artist's tweet about being the one to put tcest in the show.

i dont know why or how, but i found my way onto twitter and to the original tweet that this guy made.

for context, sheldon here was a storyboard artist for Rise and the scene they are talking about here is this one from the Lair Games episode-

i partially explain again why this is horrible and disgusting and partially why i dont believe or accept sheldon's... i dont even know what to call it. his response (the top post in the first screenshot)

part one

since i literally just rbed something about this, im just going to copy/paste my rb and add onto it a little.

" no but when i found out that some of the artists who originally worked on Rise were t-cesters and proshippers i was actually so fucking pissed off.

there are part of this community that are actually god damn disgusting, and im not afriad to say that tcest is fucking rancid and if you support it i dont want you near the content that i create.

first of all, it is literally incest. it says so right in the name. which, i really hope i dont have to explain why incest is bas in the ripe year of 2022. I don't care that they arent "blood-related". They were fucking raised as brothers, treated like brothers, and think of each other as brothers. No matter how hard you try to spin it, no matter how hard you argue that they arent technically related, you have to understand that they see and think of each other as brothers, which should be enough to make this incest.

this show was amazing when it came to family dynamics and brotherly love/trust/bonds. i can say with confidence that the brothers in Rise are much more brotherly/closer than any other previous versions. it's obvious to see that they love and care and want to protect one another. to turn platonic and love for one's family into something so gross and vile is taking all of the healthy emotional bonds between these characters and throwing it out the window.

i cant fuckung believe i have to say this every time i come back into the tmnt fandom, but-

THEY ARE MINORS.

sure, with the recent Rise movie we saw an adult leo, but heres the thing- that version of leo is fucking dead. he literally got fucking beamed out of existence.

the fact that every one of these brothers are under the age of 18 and i still see so much nsfw art is absolutely horrid.

finally, it's a kid's show. sure, many of us in the community are teens, later teens, and grown adults, but that does not change that this show was originally created to bring the tmnt franchise into yet another generation of kids. again, i sincerely hope that i dont need to explain why implying incest in kids shows (or really any TVs shows, for that matter) is morally wrong and vile.

literally yesterday me and some of my mutuals had to go through a lot of our content to re-tag a whole bunch of our posts tagged with "tcest dni" because tumblr's tagging system is actual shit. there shouldnt even be a tcest community, outside of it impeding on the rest of us Rise fans.

sorry this is such a long post but im so tired of seeing / hearing about tcest. its gross, disgusting, icky, etc etc. it is 6:30 am and i woke up and saw this and decided to fucking say something, because tcest has actively made my experience coming back into the tmnt community and fandom worse. "

and i still stand by that. seeing so much tcest- and from the artists on the rise crew, no less- is making my journy back into the tmnt fandom so, so much worse. it is actively hurting a lot of people- which brings me to one specific tweet from this thread.

so, to start- i do not, i repeat- DO NOT condone or promote sending death threats to people or telling them to kill themselves.

second- it isnt. harmless. reminder, again, that this is a

CHILDREN'S. SHOW.

you are talking about MINORS IN INCESTUAL RELATIONSHIPS. "harmless fiction" my ass.

part two

ok. so as you can see in the original screenshot, you can see that sheldon is passing this off as a joke. but i honestly cannot believe him when he says this.

why, i hear you asking. well,

look at the time stamp. 2020, nearly three years ago now, when the Lair Games episode had just come out.

why didn't he say it was a joke three years ago, when he first posted the storyboard clip? because he isnt fucking joking. either that or he is just really so fucking dense that he doesn't realize that what he's doing is not funny in any way, shape or form.

which brings me to my next point.

even if it is all just a joke,

why the fuck are you joking about minors participating in fucking incest?

its fucking nasty even if it is a joke. i genuinely shouldnt need to say anymore on why this is fucking horrid.

well. ive taken up enough of your time- i appreciate you reading to the end and i apologize for making this so long. a quick, final word in case you got this far and are a tcester or support tcest-

kindly fuck off, do not interact with me, unfollow me, and block me :] i dont want your nasty ass incest anywhere fucking near me or this blog.

thanks ! :D

#ooc post #primetimes-primetime

[daenystheedreamer]

the hotd fandom on twitter (and ao3) is actually making me go insane.

i have no idea why the poor boy who plays Bastard #2 son of rhaenyra was targeted like that by adult fans of the show but it genuinely feels like a fever dream.

the casting announcement for alicent’s brother was announced yesterday i think and immediately you can see people shipping him with luke which is ???

like at this point they have to admit they just have a weird fascination with this 16-year-old actor and are obsessed with shipping him with conventionally attractive adult men but the fact that it’s so spread and normalized in this fandom makes me feel like i’m being gaslighted like is this not wrong? guys?? idk? what gets me is that they specifically use the child actor. they saw a kid hanging out and having no personality and turned him into the Uke Supreme i just don’t get it

i feel like it all boils down to the got fandom generally being so male obsessed because the same people who bash alicent and the actress who plays her then turn around and write fanfic about idfk aegon and daemon being their self-insert’s malewives which i think is fine but when you look at the whole picture it’s soo telling. lmao.

yeah its vile. im mostly live and let live, i cultivate what i see online and avoid what i know will make me upset + when i wanna be a hater im choosing to look at that stuff. but like the line is drawn when youre just being weird to a minor. there's this movie, death in venice, about a man becoming obsessed with this pretty male youth. and ironically, or perhaps darkly fittingly, the 15yo actor for tadzio (the youth, the actor's name is bjorn andresen) was made deeply uncomfortable with the experience due to continued sexual harassment because people could not fucking leave him alone. and it's terrible, it's horrible! there's a documentary (haven't seen it though) about his experiences called The Most Beautiful Boy in the World. also if you're into japanese pop culture, you'll see he's an influence on shoujo/yaoi/bishounen/sh*ta which should tell u everything u need to know.

essentially what I'm getting at is no matter what people say about fiction vs reality, i personally believe the line should be drawn at depictions of real life children. its the tadzio thing again plus i have no doubts if they were doing this to an underage actress it would be frowned upon by the exact same people being gross.

you're into the character/dynamic, you like yaoifying it, okay! it's not my place to judge if its okay to take pleasure in it either. live and let live but i can still think its gross. youre very clearly drawing this minor sensually/sexually and are oddly fixated on him. it's uncomfortable but sometimes you just have to take a look at yourself and recognise you're doing something kinda fucked up. its okay and sometimes necessary to recognise that you are a selfish being with selfish desires that are wrong sometimes, youre not evil but you can engage with it maturely. like idk i just dont think its 'neopuritan' or whatever the fuck to think the cp, even drawn, is gross.

ALSO EDIT: i am not cancelling death in venice the book or the film for being problematic. it is fiction. i hear theyre great actually. bjorn andresen and the kid from hotd however, are real life people. thats the part i think is gross. just before anyone calls me puritan and homophobic or whatever the fuck

#tw child abuse #idk what to tag this. msg or send and ask if you need it tagged! #not tagging this with any fandom tags though LMAO #ask #anonymous

[woomycritiques543]

TW: NOT SAFE FOR LIFE, Proshippers.

To put why I dont support pro"ship"/fiction prioritizing culture as clearly as I possibly could in one post:

It spreads the message that representing a horrific thing as "GOOD/SUGARCOATED!" is "FINE!" as long as it's not homophobia or racism, but is "only" a "bad thing wow, this representation is so bad dont support this kind of representation guys!" if what's being wrongly represented is something "popular" for the public to care about such as racism or lgbt+phobia. But not ableism, rape, incest, or sexual harassment since many commonly consider those things in media as "fetish fuel" or "a joke." Hell! There's even those who are pro"ship" that are heavily racist too! It's as if trauma victims suddenly "dont matter" to the general public unless we make ourselves a "pick me!" and fetishize our traumas for the entertainment of non-victims (and victims) who fetishize our communities to no end-

It's vile. -and causes so many people to get hurt and harassed (all of the "we are good because we dont hawass people!" from pro"ship" was a fucking lie ive been harassed by "proship" pedophilles, rapeophilles, and incestophilles countless times!) because of anyone fighting for the rights of their representation "dont matter" to non victims unless we give them what they want. While anyone who does give them what they want is constantly praised for fetishizing what happened to them but not given any respect for the traumas themselves outside of mild pitty. People who fetishize their own traumas gain "praise", while any trauma victim that doesn't choose the "pick me!" route get's treated even more like garbage. I say "even more"- since either way, this kind of shit causes the law to take less action against rape, incest, and pedophillia due to not enough media taking it seriously, child predator cases continue to rise, along with the "loli/shotacons" who cause it to get worse continue to have a platform, and trauma victims from all over are treated like a "fetish" or a "a small joke!" even by the mainstream. because of pro"shipper" "FICTION IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN OTHER PEOPLE!" logic.

Literal "PICK ME!" culture, behaving in ways that specifically appeal to non victims or victims who dont care about how their media could effect the representation of not just themselves- but other people, and it's not even just for shipping, these people outright say that representation "doesnt matter!" if it's something that doesnt directly effect them or isnt a experince specfic to that person. This not just harming incest or rape victims- but various discrimated groups- you can write about serious topics WITHOUT FETISHZING THEM and to say that pro"ship" is the "only way" to allow yourself to write mature topics isn't just manipulative behavior- it's borderline abusive.

-and as ive said before, does not make "less" pedophilles harm children, and does not cause trauma victims to be more respected by the public. If anything, it's done the opposite, fiction may not "effect" reality (whoever made up that term clearly did it as sabbatoge, or was an actually foolish person.), but it does effect how people think, would could potientially lead to not just mental, but physical harm towards both adult trauma victims and child victims alike.

This kind of behavior hurts people. Bad representation, of any kind- BIG SUPRISE- CAUSES PEOPLE HARM! The mere fact that quote on quote "fiction immortality" exists isnt just delusional, it's outright causing irl harm. Even if it's not direct actions (because that's how representation works! it's not just for victims of racism- victims of sexual harassment, incest, pedophillia, and rape matter too! So either do this kind of shit in private- or dont do it at all because let's face it- fetishizing your own traumas will only reinforce the trauma in your head! It wont make it go away, it will only cause long term harm- hurting other people is never a "good cope!" and im sick and tired of all these pro"shippers" and literal pedophilles harassing people and treating the overall trauma (including other victims!) like shit! WE MATTER TOO! Your traumas are not "only" valid if you fetishize them to mainly appeal to non-victims!), this kind of behavior still hurts our representation, same for any other type of media with misinformation, fetishizing and stereotypes!

What im trying to say is: Pro"ship" was a mistake. Representation deserves to be a priority with ALL TRAUMAS and if you can't cope in ways that harms another person- FIND SOMETHING ELSE and stop feeding into the lies of non-victims and treating other people who were traumatized like garbage! You are not "less of a victim" or "stupid!" for defending your representation or rights. You deserve better than to be treated this way. Trauma deserves good faith representation- mainstream or not, you deserve better!

DNI: PROSHIPPERS, do not derail!

Reblogs are appreciated.

#dni proship #tw proshippers #proship #proshippers #tw pedophillia #pedophillia #racism and homophobia #representation matters #tw incest mention #NEWS FLASH: If you use coping methods that harm representation by posting it publically- you're a part of the problem! #by doing this shit you're no better than creators that cause victims of lgbt+phobia and racism to get the same treatment from media! #because that's what bad faith representation does- IT HURTS PEOPLE!

[incarnateirony]

2po, stop sending yourself anons.

Fun fact! I actually never said Destiel was going to happen until the gap between season 14 and 15, and said it would happen in season 15, because while you didn't realize it, it was the first thing Berens had written and the only reason he stayed, and you know, he told people. And then you denied it and it happened and you denied his reason to stay and he said it and you denied it being written first and he said it?

remember that?

Soooooo weird that's the same year he asked for me at SDCC when he was inviting Shoshanna back, huh. wild that i magically got it, that specific year, not all the other imaginary years you're talking about, where I can source posts that yet again so you're a lying piece of shit while Seasons 12-14 I said to hold reserve, pay attention to bobo, and see where marketing fell? and even within S15 I was warning about Sarnoff's reporting structure being a -- VERBATIM -- roll of the dice, and specifically described it as them "streaking across the field naked running the ball until security tackled them" and then covid dropped?

yeah.

Sorry, sucks to be you, you lying piece of shit. You're even more clueless now than you were then and boy. man. You have NO idea sweetheart.

Cope, you lying, desperate sack of shit, and while you're there, start grieving walker. Go bury your wincel porn while you're at it, and maybe castrate yourself so you don't add any additional offspring from your genetic pool because goddamn we don't need any more fuckers as dumb and stubborn and sociopathic as you, and that shit's genetic.

guess what, asshole

we don't have to sprint anymore

regardless of if you fucking acknowledge that authors have cell phones, Berens actually told them to NOT run too fast at romance among his other shit. BECAUSE WE DONT HAVE TO SPRINT ANYMORE. IT'S ALL OURS, YOU HOPELESS SACK.

You're genuinely gonna end up su*c*dal once reality hits, aren't you? Like you're so fucking doubled down into your illusory world of self consolation i... seriously does anyone know where this dude is? Don't tell me but seriously, be prepared to do a wellness check on him in about 9 episodes and again when walker's end is announced. like i'm legit not kidding at this point, this is hitting alarming.

i hate him, i hate liars, i hate sociopaths, I hate conmen and grifters and people who steal thousands from others like he does but he's still (mostly? almost?) human. Like he's a thinking being (in the... roughest and most generous use of the term) and he's actually self damaging at this point whether or not he realizes it and uhhhhh. this is probably gonna get really bad for him. between where The Winchesters is headed, Walker's cancellation, and probably people realizing that he stole from them once they too see reality hit. it's--everything, his entire fandom architecture is going to implode. And he seems to rest his entire life on it. so just. whoever actually knows his address or number or whatever. Keep it on speed dial.

Nothing is truly as vile as someone who uses people for money, social influence and ego service like he does, or who intentionally spreads so much misinformation and made up garbage just to inspire false dialogues and upset--truly like. Sometimes it IS the kind of person you wish would take care of it themselves but then it's like. No. You will not let soulless assholes bring you to their level. Every human can be redeemed. Or... maybe like. Neanderthal. Whatever. I don't know what his fucking damage is, but I wouldn't still be trying to argue with him if I thought he was 100% beyond reason. it's like 99.99999999% but there's that little bit. Like he's capable of body functions like breathing so he has to have a FEW braincells that are reachable.

[neuromantis]

Why dont you try being nice? If you know you're mean and feel guilty why dont you act on it? /genuine question not a snarky or sarcastic comment

I am trying to be nice. I am trying to be nice the entirety of my life, to be honest. To be polite and smile no matter what havoc is in my head. If you ask people who know me irl, they would all try to convince you I am actually a good and harmless person, because that's what I am to them.

The people I left behind in my past, they on the other hand would tell you I am a disgusting inhuman wretch. I didn't know how to even pretend to be a sane adult human person then, I think. I think, because I do not recall much from my past. I'm sure it was awful and I was awful, but I can't recall anything extremely specific.

These days, I "do no harm", you won't hear a single negative thing from me concerning others. I try so fucking hard so that nothing vile in my brain affects anyone directly. I mostly vomit-word about it online when I am drunk/high, but every person who knows me irl, learned to disregard that, eventually.

Have you ever seen me talk badly about someone besides like, my boss or my dad or my ex? I just. Don't do that. Because I don't genuinely think any of these people are at fault. I just must be horrible. I need to repent. Say I am sorry for a thousand times even if I didn't actually do anything wrong, but I feel like I must have done something wrong?

I try to be nothing but pleasant. Even if I have violent anger issues, I only ever take that out on myself. I overapologize, I try to make amends for even imagined faults. Just the fact that I will forever remain horrid and awful and unworthy is the thing that keeps running in my mind forever, so I will always try to correct and over-correct for that. But my opinion of myself doesn't really match the opinion of others. I will always talk of myself like I am the vilest human being on earth, despite having friends who genuinely love me. Because it's the biggest one of my delusions. That I destroy everything I touch and make it sick. Sick like me.

[strangecassette]

im honestly just. really tired of people screwing me over and then acting like im the only asshole in the room. i own up to my fuckups, i take responsibility, and i try to be mature in handling situations. am i perfect? fuck fucking no. but i shouldnt feel ASHAMED of talking about my feelings on my own blog on the offchance someone is hate-lurking and poised to point and go, “see! youre talking bad about me so you ARE the evil villain monster bad guy of my personal story!”

cant people just be normal? i fucked up a friendship, i hurt someone i cared about, and we couldnt continue on because of what i did. i was an asshole, i was really unsure about my emotions and life decisions at a very unstable and vulnerable point in my life. how i handled that hurt someone that was ready to grow closer, and that was fucked up of me. i wont say that he doesnt have a right to be upset, he very much does, and our entire relationship was a clusterfuck. but... i really dont think i like the way things ended. maybe it was what he needed to feel better about it all, but i just dont think its mature or really morally acceptable to tell off every single person thats fucked up in your life. it wasnt “you really hurt me and i dont think i can forgive you, so im not going to speak to you anymore and i want you to leave me alone” it was “youre a liar” and “you dont deserve friends if this is how you treat them” when he knew that i have a serious fear of being a shitty person. not even to mention the weird thing he did where he added me to his group chat of friends, i told him about shitty past friends that ruined gcs for me, and then as soon as i do something wrong, i get removed so he can chat shit about me to complete strangers as if im a malicious abuser out to get him specifically. im a human fucking being and actually? i dont think im going to lie down and fucking take that shit anymore. cyrus, if youre reading this, stay off of my blog and learn to communicate maturely, because that fucking hurt me too and i dont think i wil bend over backwards to try and give you reasons why im worth keeping around. im not going to beg for anything from you and all i hope for you is that you get better, get better friends, and learn to communicate with them without acting like youre telling off a monster deserving of every vile, hurtful thing you can think of saying to them. goodbye.

#i could stoop to a lower level and list all the sus shit from his end #but guess what? #im capable of understanding that hes just a human person like me that makes mistakes #and its genuinely shitty and pointless #so. heres my goodbye to a whirlwind ride of a friendship #because i plan to move on and grow #because i do deserve friends #i do deserve love #i am not an actively malicious person #just an imperfect one #but one capable of learning and changing #and i WILL get to a point where i can healthily communicate to avoid shit like this #vent #vague #and honestly not even sorry about it

[residentevildash-moved]

why dont you wanna play re2make?

short answer: it simply doesnt appeal to me

long answer: going under cut LOL

[warning its really long and i start to sound mean near the end i think]

re2make lands in a specific & unfortunate spot where i cant enjoy it at face value as a res evil game, and i cant enjoy it in a dismissive "woah look how crazy this is lol" way, either. it just irks me a lot. ill try to explain

my first res evil game was the re1 remake, which was very faithful to the orig re1, in terms of gameplay and style. i LOVED this. then i went to play the next game in the series, and went for the re2 remake, since i (naive, new to this cruel world) figured it was a remake like the re1 remake, in terms of style & stuff, and. um! well. it isnt! right? its different, since it was made in 2019, and REmake was in......2002? i want to say? hold on. . . yeah 2002. so of course they werent going for the same style of remake. they were making it to appeal to modern game audiences, so it was less of a 1:1 and more of a re-imagining. and it doesnt try to say otherwise, it knows that its a re-telling/re-imagining, i was just not expecting that (again, naive, unaware of the hell that is capcom games)

right, so, i played maybe 5 minutes of re2r, and was like "i dont like this, im just going to play the original re2" and did that. i loved re2 a lot. i mean. <3 <3 <3 . so, as someone who's now attached to the orig re2, i have my perceptions of each of the characters and everything all living in the delicate ecosystem of my brain; near and dear 2 me etc. re2make is a whole different animal, and if it interacts with said ecosystem, all the little bugs are going to explode and blood disaster forever. this brings us to the section of my answer where i explain my beef with re2 remake leon

[id: "My beef with re2make Leon" in all caps]

i just dont like him. i dont like what they did with his character, i dont like how he looks, and i hate how fans talk about him, which he is unfortunately getting blamed for since seeing him reminds me of the vile shit that ive seen (whoever made the naked sexy whatever leon mod(?) is going to hell and im smashing them with hammers). ok. taking a step back. what actually wrong with him?

the simple answer is "hes just not leon." leon, in re2, is kind of a bitch, a guy who got blackout drunk (bc he was upset abt a breakup) the night before driving into raccoon city to be like 8 hours late for the first day of his job. which turned out to be zombies. which he fought while hungover the entire time. while being ridiculous & stupid. re2make 'leon' (i need the ' ' for my own sanity) is just some regular guy who doesnt have any of that going on. he has a lukewarm, generic personality and could be named matthew and it wouldnt make a difference. design wise, re2make 'leon' was also made to look friendly(?), or whatever the fuck, and his haircut is more generic, while re2 leon looks kind of mean (on purpose) and has the iconic curtain bangs. theyre just different characters, so it irks me that the re2r guy is considered to be leon. i know its subjective, but this is all just my opinion anyways. i do appreciate his existence though, because hes fodder for horny people, dbd players, and annoying people who call anything that moves a twink. its like this

so thanks 2 him for that

i also dont like what they did to claire, sinc she looks like debbie ryan and her dialogue is less cool. shes just lamer and more .. i dont know. generic Girl. claire is a badass and re2r claire is kind of nothing, but not as nothing as 'leon.' i just feel bad for what capcom did to her

you may have seen my other response to an ask abt wtrc, where i said i was ok with it being different from the source, so i just wanted to add that its different with re2r because 1. it takes itself seriously, 2. its a videogame so thats many hours of psychological torment as opposed to 1-2 hours 3. avan jogia as leon

i hope this answers your question? i guess the true answer is that i cannot play it because it will make me mad. i think its a fine game for other people to like, like, its a generic whatever """resident evil""" experience, but i just really dislike its entire angle. heres my fav image ive made abt this

and some bonus re2 pics/concept art if you made it to the end thanks for reading

#also keep in mind i. mental illness #my posts #asks #anon #alt answer: i just cant stand modern triple A games

[fatfemmearoorc]

this shit is what people mean by "cottagecore is used by terfs to advertise their ideology to vulnerable queers looking to escape while also neo-colonizing real life modern places that people just Live in" and "terfs/radfem your aesthetics with their dog whistles to shimmy their way into your spaces and no amount of no true scotsmanning will magic them away" (with a healthy dollop of cult bullshit).

most everything here Looks fairly innocuous, or at least could pass as neutral if you're not good at seeing terf and radfem dog whistle ("womyn" aside lol).

what's Especially notable, however, and for various reasons, are "pagan homestead", "seperatism", "priestess of avalon", and perhaps most sinister the psuedo-comforting calls to message the op if youre in need of "healing and wisdom."

lets get into the fairly simple things first. the cottagecore-esque "pagan homestead," especially some sort of alaskan isolated terf/radfem compound who knows where and attained who knows how. probably with no mind towards whos land its on, re: the actual native people who still actually fucking Live there to this day. many of us have Heard the issues with and discussions about cottagecore in general, and im not even native, so im just going to link a few articles and sources at the bottom of this post from people with more experience on the subject than me, and put my faith in your ability to make your opinions and critical thoughts.

next, the paganism thing. heres the thing. some of these people will fake your aesthetic to advertise their ideology, using convenient paint to find vulnerable queers and women.

but more dangerously some of them just genuine believe. something we forget is that terfs and radfems arent cartoon villians, theyre very real people. and i dont say this to, like, give them Room or some sort of appeal to emotion, but because when we stop thinking of them as people, then we stop understanding their actions as the actions a person makes. we stop understanding their motives, we stop recognizing that their actions are decisions, human error, human malice. we start thinking of them as Those Things Over There that occasionally say Really Weird Shit thats Super Funny in its absurdity. UNTIL you take more than a five second look and you realize they often arent saying a word salad, but a vile cocktail of transmisogyny and self isolating group specific slang designed to make Her feel like shes in the In Group and you feel like the Out Group (which is a red flag for cult bullshit)

its important to recognize that people with Your passions, Your favorite songs, Your opinions on your favorite show, are terfs. they are people. they eat the same food you do, they like the same sodas. we arent not a different species. the difference between a terf and you is simply a Whole lot of respectibility politics aimed at the most vulnerable population they can muster sustainable hate for. they Are in your communities and they Will leverage your shared passions hide their hate behind you. they'll feel perfectly justified about it, too.

finally, what i find most personally alarming perhaps, is that homestead tag and "intentional community" and "seperationist community" in conjunction witht those very first tags. "if you feel called to hold space for healing and wisdom, reach out to us and lets talk."

listen. ladies. any radfems or terfs out there reading this just because its reached yall's circles or because some of you happen to have incognito blogs or just anyone who the post in the screenshot even Slightly appeals to. i cannot stress how MONUMENTALLY horrible a bad idea it would be to take this person up on their offer. this is primo classic cmpound cult bullshit red Flags. no matter how unlikely it seems the op will actually get the money or whatever to actually do what shes talking about, i really cannot stress how Bad and Awful an idea it is to connect with people like this, emotionally or physically. i know that people like this (ideology aside) seem nice and compassionate, and maybe they even are, on certain levels. but people who want to isolate you spiritually, socially, and physically. this person wants to take you and your money to some isolated compound in the wilderness of alaska, and in the meantime just has an Open call to spiritual counseling on their blog based on that goal. these are huge red flags.

these people are Not mean when you meet them. they are not Rude, they will Not abuse you in their Cult Bullshit Pitch. theyre not going to have the Cult robes on and they probably wont ask you to fuck the devil or anything. they will use your passions, your fears, your needs. they will seem accepting, they will seem like theyve known you your whole life, and they will seem like the only ones who understand you.

anyway long story short, this person is an embryonic cult member/leader, this is how people use your interests to get to You, and this is specifically how terfs and radfems use cottagecore and modern colonialist farm fantasies.

links:

- https://www.hercampus.com/school/vcu/cottagecore-aesthetic-racist

- https://www.bitchmedia.org/article/black-women-cottagecore-whiteness

- https://witchwithme.com/2020/08/28/cottagecore-a-gateway-to-romanticizing-settler-colonialism/

#tw terf #tw radfem #tw cult #tw religious abuse

[curechocolattymilk]

TES V OC Thingie

[Got tagged by @jessaryss​ ! ]

Pause your game! Wherever your OC is in their game currently, tell me about their story so far.

✧✧✧ General

Current Level: 56

Name: Jeer-Tei Perdes

Name Meaning: Literally got it from a name generator lol. But lore wise it was a name gifted to them in honor of an Argonian who served beside Tei’s mother during the Great War

Pronouns: They/Them

Age: Early 30s where they are story wise???

Race(s): Argonian

Place of Origin: Hammerfell

Pick A Theme Song For Them: oof that's tough... From a Crowded Wound or maybe even Firstwake? If you really played around w personal interpretation/the lyrics that is haha

✧✧✧ Locations

Where Did You Begin Their Game?: Argonian Assemblage, Windhelm (Alternative Start)

Where Are They Currently In Your Game?: Whiterun

What Are They Doing There?: Just finished attending a party held in their honor (Post Blood of Kings)

Homes?: Breezehome, Proudspire, Lakeview & Autmnwatch

# of Locations Discovered?: 274

Dungeons Cleared: 104

Misc. Quests Completed: 87

Favorite Areas and/or Locations: Falkreath / Lakewview Manor. Both areas are where Tei heads off to in order to collect their thoughts/feel some sense of calm.

✧✧✧ Main Quest

Are They Dragonborn / Do They Know It At This Point?: Yes & yes

How Do They Feel About Being Dragonborn: It's...complicated, being thrust into the role of savior by gods of the Cult, which in turn are followed by the folk who see you lesser than them. Tei already has a dislike towards the Divines, this doesn't really help lol

Main Quests Completed: 21

Where Are They In The Main Story Line: Alduin's dead, currently trying to ignore the Civil War as long as they can before the Empire forces its hand into forcing them to join their ranks

Dragon Souls Absorbed: In total overall? 147. The amount currently stored in Tei? 45

Words of Power Learned: 64

Shouts Mastered: 21

Favorite Shout: Firebreath / Dragonrend

✧✧✧ Combat

Most Used Weapon(s): Daedric war axe OR Dragonbone battle axe. Tei technically has both on them at all times during adventuring, alongside a shield, so which they used depends on the situation/which they grab fastest.

Combat Style: Two/One-handed tank. Main tactic is to rush in, cause as much damage/chaos as possible to shake up the opponent, & clean up what the ranged attackers of the party (usually Rumarin, Inigo and/or Lucien) weren't able to deal with.

Armor Type / Level In It: HEAVY ARMOR BABYYYYY (Level 100 + 35 extra points via enchantments)

# of Training Sessions: 99 in-game, lore wise its a lot of self-teaching/keeping their skills learned from Hammerfell sharp. Some of these are magic but lore-wise this doesn't happen cus Tei is not a magic user, save for shouts. I just did those in-game for exp OR so I can help Lucien raise his magic skills :'D

Who Taught Them?: In-game?? Fuuuck so many npcs. Lore-wise? They learned this from their schooling in Hammerfell, going off the canon-lore that it's p much expected for everyone to have a grasp on combat & weaponry! Though they did learn a few things from Kaidan & Anum-La.

Favorite Enemy Type: Dragons! Despite the fact Tei does not have the best magic resistance, it's one hell of a challenge they love to meet.

Least Favorite Enemy Type: Automatons, because of a bad experience with them as a child. Also Undead, because they were raised not to disturb them & it just feels so wrong having to fight them/go into tombs.

People Killed: 945

Animals Killed: 749 (Hunterborn makes hunting fun lol)

Undead Killed: 766

Automatons Killed: 105

Daedra Killed: 136

✧✧✧ Magic

Favorite School(s): None, actually. Destruction is okay though....they guess

Most Used Spell(s): Firebreath or Dragon Aspect. Tei doesn't consider shouts spells though. It's totally different guys shut up they ain't no smelly mage gods

Spells Learned: 9 in-game, mainly due to the spells you're kinda forced to learn for some quests/the ones you automatically know

Items Enchanted: 19 (Tei technically doesn't enchant, and wont next playthrough for sure I wont give in this time >:[ )

College of Winterhold Quests Completed: 8

Where Are They At In The Questline?: Main quest is done bcus i dont like seeing unfinished quests in my journal lmao. Tei's involvement is completely different from canon though in my take. Moreso was hired as a guard for the expedition & was, unwillingly, dragged into the rest of the mess. Is not offered the Archmage position, that went straight to Tolfdir.

Opinions on Magical Guilds (Arcane University, Winterhold, Psijics, Synod, Radiant Dark, etc.): As they get older, they tolerate the guild & magic users more n more, BUT, Tei grew up in an environment that frowns upon the practice of magic, & it shows. They mainly mistrust necromancers/illusionists & still hold onto that belief that reliance on magic, especially for combat, is a weakness.

Bold words for someone with shit magic resistance.

✧✧✧ Crime

Current Gold: 10,640

How Did They Acquire Their Gold?: Odd jobs, selling a lot of the items they made/harvested from smithing & hunting (jewelers are their go-to hirers bcus Tei is great at getting things like ivory), Dwemer ruin diving (they refuse to loot the tombs), also yknow....being part of the Dark Brotherhood helps

Largest Bounty On Their Head: 11,240

For...?: Unfortunately they did not stand down when they were being falsely accused of murder in Markarth. First time Tei called down dragons (Sahrotaar, specifically, Tei managed to get command of Miraak's dragons post-Dragonborn) to absolutely smite some fools.

Current Bounty: None! They're good at not getting caught/threatening and/or bribing guards. :)

Locks Picked: 15 i think?

Jail Time: 1, Cidhna Mine

Jail Escapes: 1, teamed up w the Forsworn lol

Murders: 28

Assaults: 307....In their defense people keep getting in their way during dragon attacks

Items Stolen: 37, most of them from the nobles of Windhelm

Thieves Guild Quests Completed: N/A (wont be doing this storyline unless i cant find a mod that'll let me get the shouts locked behind it)

Dark Brotherhood Quests Completed: 20

Where Are They At In Those Questlines?: DB is completed main arc wise!

✧✧✧ Relationships

Relationship Status: Married to two lovely fellas

Current Companions: atm? none

Housecarls: Lydia & Rayya

Friends (outside of party): Zora Fair-Child, Inigo, Lucien, Anum-La, Morndas, Aela the Huntress, Nazir, Babette, Scouts-Many-Marshes, Isobel, Madesi

Children: Khash, Chases-Starlight, Ram-Ku. (going of where Tei is now - Otero & Mei come around later on in Tei's story!)

Romantic Interest(s): Kaidan & Rumarin.

Sexual Orientation:

GAY

✧✧✧ Religion

Pantheon: Yokudan, with a hint of Hircine worship in there

Patron Deity(ies): From the Yokudan pantheon: Tei mainly views HoonDing as their main patron, but also prays to/pays respect to Satakal.

They are also Hircine's champion.

Daedric Quests Completed: 3 (Hircine, Vile, Dagon - the last Tei didn't really help, moreso pissed off)

Aedric Quests Completed: 1 if you count the whole Alduin thing I guess?

How Devout Are They?: Tei is rather devout, esp to their Yokudan patrons, praying or making offerings daily. They aren't the type to really push it in your face though, but have no issues answering questions one might have.

How Do They Feel About Talos Worship?: Deep down they acknowledge & admit trying to ban worship is terrible, but....Tei also lets their bias/experience with Windhelm, the Stormcloaks & especially Ulfric kinda cloud over this. If the Nords want their old ways so damn much, why fight for a divine from the Imperial Cult? Why not go back to the actual old ways? No, this isn't about worship, not to the men leading this so-called rebellion, they just needed something other than their racist bullshit to fool the common man into throwing their lives away for the nobles sitting comfortable in their thrones.

Also during their whole thing of getting into their role of dragonborn, they get a bonus 'fuck this dude actually' towards Talos, Ysmir, whatever the fuck he calls himself. (tldr; it sucks but good luck hearing Tei say that fully)

✧✧✧ Politics

Gray-Mane or Battle-Born?: Neither, ask them again they will punch you for the love of Ruptga they get asked that every time they enter Whiterun.

Stormcloaks or Imperials?: Also neither, Tei hates em both n think they can all choke. Unfortunately they were forced to join the latter due to, yknow, calling dragons & causing massive damage in Imperial territories during isolated fits of rage and the group being more aggressive in wanting something in return for "letting it slide"....oops

Opinion on the Thalmor?: Oh absolutely despises them, they loudly complained having to work with them during the CW & would go out their way to disrupt their plans/piss them off. Sneaking was an option they did not take during the Embassy quest, if it helps paint the picture.

Opinion Of Ulfric Stormcloak?: Tei doens't say they hate people often...but they sure as hell hate Ulfric. Again, their experience in Windhelm added to this heavily, how both the Dunmer & Argonians were treated like shit, with no help whatsoever from the Jarl or guards when the local Nords targeted them. It's still up in the air if I keep this for Tei's story, but I have it where they knew Chases-Starlight's parents, who were killed. When Tei went up & demanded justice/an investigation, only to be brushed off because it "wasn't a priority," it completely destroyed what little empathy or hope they had left for Windhelm as a whole.

Opinion of The Empire?: Cowards too weak to continue fighting back against the Thalmor, in their opinion, & holds these views they grew up with even when being strong-armed into aiding them. If anything they're at least attempting to use their influence to hint towards a rebellion against the Thalmor, but the Empire could also full-on dissolve & they could give less of a shit.

Civil War Quests Completed: 0

✧✧✧ Personal

How Are They Doing? Need Some Juice? A Nap? A Hug?: The whole event of Blood of Kings has fucked with their head, to say the least. It's the starting point of Tei's eventual spiral. So uh...yeah they're not sure how they're doing everything they knew about reality was kinda challenged & they don't rlly have anyone to talk to about it so its cool, its fine, its all good.

A nap is probably needed, not sure about a hug theough they're super flinchy rn

Days Past In Game: 196

Hours of Sleep: 846

Food Items Consumed: 1833

How Many Playthroughs Have You Done With This Character: Tei actually is an older character from the 360 days so uh...maybe 5 at most? This playthrough & their S:EC one coming up when the mod releases being the main ones focusing on their story

Overall How's Your Level Of Fun: Alright I would say! I just been stepping away from Skyrim more often lately to avoid burning out from it

Must Have Mods To Play This Character (for story or other reasons): Ordinator, Wintersun Faiths, Immersive Armors, Sarcastic Player Dialogue, 3DNPC, Inigo, Lucien Flavius, Kaidan 2, Khash the Argonian, Alternative Start, Leviathan Animations, Beast Race Body Paints, Beast HHBB, Apocalypse Magic, Deadly Dragons, Growl: Werewolf Overhaul, Pronouns, uhhh....idk what else without actually listing my current modlist lmao

----

And that's it for Tei! Anyone who wants to do this go on ahead!

#tes v #tes v skyrim #last dragonborn #ldb oc #jeerteiperdes #tes #skyrimblogging #oc meme #long post #character meme #finished this just in time for me to start registering for my online courses neato #also its almost 12am so if you notice any misgendering of tei (calling them he) lmk im tired haha

[its-ya-boi-autumn]

Omg omg omg its me AGAIN. Idk how its possible but im in love all over again. I was thinking, like idk ive got so many ideas but like what if one day adeline is like 15 and she kills someone out of instinct, rage etc. And shes rlly guilty and chrollo happens to be in the same city/area n sees n hes gives her the talk??? Like "it is what it is". Maybe even helps her hide the body n evidence so his ex s/o doesn't flip? Totally understand if u dont wanna do 2 requests in a row, love ya xx.

I'm totally fine with doing two in a row baby~ I'm just a little slow is all 🤣 I've had a lot of social interaction going on today and then I came home and now I gotta fix my room so if this doesn't come out the same day I apologize 😅 (probably won't, I'm just super tired) Warning: abuse and violence

Adeline’s chest was heaving, her throat feeling as if she were breathing fire instead of air. Her chest and cheeks were colored an angry red and her legs were beginning to go numb. She couldn’t fall now, not when he was quick on her heels. Tears stained her cheeks, still falling from her eyes. The adrenaline continued to push her forward. To keep her running as fast as she could. The ponytail that held her hair up finally gave way, allowing her long black hair to block some of her vision when she turned around for a split second.

Danny was still too close for her to even begin to slow, his stamina almost inhuman.

A sob wracked her entire body at the sight and she nearly tripped. Her eyes frantically darted everywhere. Where could she run that would slow him down? Could she hide anywhere? Was there anyone else around? She had to find something to at least slow him down. Was there anything at all? Running straight through the pathway in the woods had proven to be a bad idea after she came out into a vast meadow of nothing but grass and dirt patches. 

“Adeline-”

“Leave me alone!” her voice screeched into the evening air, tearing at the tissue in her throat. She prayed her voice would be heard by someone. Anyone. Danny’s pace picked up, his arms quickly enveloping her, crushing her ribs.

“Adeline Lucilfer-”

“LET GO OF ME!” her fist reached up, coming into contact with his jaw and forcing his head up roughly. Danny released her, his hands covering his mouth at the throbbing pain he was probably experiencing. Adeline wasted no time to be proud of herself and began to run again, but her legs weren’t having it. The short time she had been stopped caused her muscles to relax and they wouldn’t cooperate anymore. Instantly, she fell forward, trying to force herself up again and keep going. She heard the deep groan of pain resonating in Danny’s chest. Her heart raced. What could she do? Her legs were rendered completely useless right now and there was nothing she could defend herself with other than her own two fists.

All the running she had done was starting to catch up to her too, her lungs having a hard time allowing her to breathe and her throat burning. Her body wouldn’t help her this time. She was sure she was done for. Adeline flipped onto her back, trying to almost crab walk away while Danny was still getting his bearings. When his eyes met hers, they were swirling with nothing but pure malice. He’d had enough.

“Adeline...” his voice was soft despite his hard face. Her own eyes grew wide, tears once again blurring her vision. The only thing she could actually see was Danny’s broad shape standing to his full height, strolling towards her slowly.

“No... no, no, no, no- Danny please, just leave me alone!” she opted to beg for him, hoping that some slimmer of his good side would show through, showing him what he was actually doing. What he was about to do. Danny didn’t seem to notice her begging or at the very least he didn’t seem to care. Adeline pushed herself up to run but she wasn’t fast enough. A harsh blow was received directly between her shoulder blades, forcing any air in her lungs out within a matter of seconds. She choked, falling onto her chest again. Coughing, she made another attempt to steady herself, but another hit was taken on her lower back. It didn’t hurt as bad as the first one, but the initial shock caused her to hesitate for just a moment too long. A rough hand snatched up her arm and suddenly her body was flipped onto its back. Danny dropped to his knees on top of her and she watched his fist slam into her chest.

Another hit.

Another.

And another.

Her face.

Her chest.

Her stomach.

Adeline was limp on the ground, her breathing becoming more and more labored as the sun set behind her. Her vision had gone completely blurry and she could feel the large bruises forming on her skin. He was brutal. Adeline was only 15, this shouldn’t of been happening. She should have listened to you. She should have listened when you told her to find Chrollo and bring him to her. She should have listened when you said to have Chrollo handle ‘daddy’. But she didn’t. Adeline thought she could protect you from Danny. She wanted to be the hero.

“Are you done running, Adeline?” his voice broke her thoughts. She couldn’t even bring herself to make eye contact with him, still watching the sun fall below the horizon, stars beginning to twinkle in the distance.

“Answer me.” the command shook her.

“Yes...” she tried to form the word properly but her tongue was too big for her mouth all of a sudden.

“Yes what?”

“Yes... daddy...” his sexualization of the word sickened her, but she couldn’t bear to be hit again. She might go unconscious if he struck another blow. He stood, taking her by the shirt collar and making her stand. She stumbled, coming across something in her jacket pocket as her hand fell in while she stabilized herself on her knees.

Her house key.

Hope pushed through her misery. She could put an end to this. An end to him.

“Hurry up, your mother can’t be alone for too long, not with that Chrollo guy running around still. Fucking scumbag..” Danny scoffed, turning to face her again. It hurt her to hear him call Chrollo such a thing. Chrollo had been nothing but sweet you her and you when he came over to see you. She wasn’t sure of why it was her specifically that he wanted to see, but that was probably what you meant to talk to her about today.

“Let’s go!” he ordered, waiting impatiently. Adeline didn’t move, thinking her plan out of how to end this man. This horrible, sick man. Her hand stayed within her pocket, fingering the key in thought. Danny’s teeth ground together, his feet stomping up to the young girl.

“Was I not clear enough? I said let’s go-” when he raised his hand to hit her again, he left himself open. Adeline slid the key out of her pocket and dug it across his throat. At first, she thought she failed as no blood even shown. What gave it away was Danny’s mere expression of surprise. An uneven white slit on his neck turned dark red as it spotted with blood. Then, it poured. The red liquid ran down his chest, leaving the man choking on himself. Adeline slowly backed away, hoping he wouldn’t charge at her in a spur of the moment. Danny did no such thing, solely focused on the fact that his throat had been slit. The fact that he was going to die. Adeline didn’t know what else to do other than watch him struggle to breathe. His hands covered his throat for a moment and wiped at the blood, pulling them away again to see the bright red on his fingers.

“You... you cut me...” his voice was weak and shaky. Adeline didn’t reply. She backed away more, falling onto the ground as her legs fell numb from running. She kept backing away from him, trying to keep her distance.

“Adeline...” he was trying to make her feel like shit, and it was working. What had she done? She just killed the man she called her father and for what? Her mother? Herself? She didn’t even know the answer as he crawled forward. She moved backwards, keeping her distance from him. Danny fell to his knees before her, hand outstretched.

“Why would you... why would you do this?” he kept going as if he didn’t know. As if he hadn’t been the cause of so many sleepless night for both Adeline and yourself. How was he not dead yet? He had to die soon, this was too painful for her to watch. Danny balanced himself on his free hand while the other tried to hold his neck closed, stopping himself from bleeding out. Faster, he scrambled towards her. Adeline held no mercy in her leg as it surged outward, kicking him in the nose. He recoiled on the dirt. Crying. Danny had never cried before, in fact, it was always Adeline and you who cried because of him. Nonetheless, listening to the man sob, helpless and dying in the dust made Adeline nauseous. She couldn’t take this, she couldn’t just sit her and watch him bleed out. But she felt like she couldn’t leave him alone here either. Dying alone was her worst fear. The knowledge of murdering somebody and leaving them to nature made her wretch up her dinner. Doubling over, she puked to the sound of Danny’s final sobs.

Her hands trembled as she held the key in her hand. Why hadn’t he continued to fight her? He still had a chance and he just laid there, surprised by her courage to go so far as to slit his throat. Again, her stomach shoved food up and out of her esophagus, a horrid stench clouding her senses. Her shoulders shook as she lay there on the ground. She didn’t even hear the footsteps come up from behind her.

“Adeline?” a gentle male voice startled her, making her gag on her own vomit. She turned, her eyes meeting Chrollo’s. His brows we’re furrowed, worry obvious in his features.

“What happened?” he kneeled down to her, ignoring her mess underneath her and behind her, curled up in the dirt. Dead.

“I... I can’t-” and she threw up again. Chrollo’s hands worked themselves into her hair, pulling it back for her to keep it out of her face.

“You’re okay, I’m right here.” he shushed her gently, his free hand rubbing her back in an attempt to comfort her shaking form. Another vile pool retched out of her mouth, hacking and dry heaving following suit.

Eventually, she managed to calm down. Adeline sat up and wiped her mouth with her jacket sleeve, quickly becoming disgusted with the action and discarding of the attire altogether. She wheezed against her sore throat, the tops of her lungs burning again like when she was running.

“Can you tell me what happened?” Chrollo didn’t even seem affected by the dead man right next to him, even taking a chance to glance at him. His eyes didn’t linger too long on Danny, obviously more worried about Adeline herself than anything. When his eyes met hers again, she couldn’t help but let those tears from before slip out and onto her bruised cheeks and chest. Chrollo didn’t push her any further, instead moving closer to her and embracing her. Every instinct told her to push him away, that she was a monster and that she didn’t deserve this kind of treatment, not after killing somebody. But her weakness didn’t allow her to fight back and she simply melted against Chrollo’s chest, sobbing and quaking. You always told Adeline that Chrollo was a sweet-tempered man, that he was always patient with you and with his friends. It seemed you had been right. He didn’t force Adeline to tell him anything, he didn’t shove her away or treat her unkindly. He knew she wasn’t a bad person and that she was in a state of distress. He had to of known that Adeline wouldn’t kill someone without having a reason. A good one at that.

“Now, Adeline,” he started, lifting her head up to look at him in the eyes. The same eyes as her own. Almost like staring back at her own reflection. It was strange, “I do want to hear about this, however we don’t have much time. We need to dispose of this immediately.” she could hear the urgency edging in his voice, but he still held a level of stability. Adeline nodded, pressing her hands into the dirt to push her body back upright. He followed her over to Danny and thought for a moment, hand on his chin.

“Okay, I’ll have someone take care of this here in a second. I’ll call him.” Chrollo was speaking more to himself than to Adeline, pulling out his phone and dialing a number before letting it ring. She didn’t hear the other end pick up, but it was apparently instant, as Chrollo began speaking to the other man. He gave him their location and the situation at hand, even mentioning his daughter.

At first, this confused Adeline. She wasn’t his daughter. She was Danny’s daughter... her brows furrowed and her arms crossed over her chest. What was he talking about? Sure they had the same eyes and the same hair, and even the same nose now that she really looked at him. You had never told her anything about Chrollo being your father.

“Alright, he’ll be here shortly-” he started after hanging up.

“You called me your daughter..?” she knew it was rude to cut him off, but she couldn’t help it. She felt like she needed to know, felt as if she had the right to know. Chrollo turned his attention her, setting his phone back into his pocket.

“Yes. I did. Y/n never told you?” even through the monotone sound Adeline swore she could hear the hint of pain there. You told her Chrollo didn’t feel much, but when he did they were pretty strong emotions.

“No...” it was the only word she could think of to respond with. At first, she didn’t know how to feel. She didn’t blame you or anything, understanding that she was young and you must not have wanted to confuse her. You may have even planned to tell her now. Then the reason behind Danny’s outrage hit her like a train.

She gasped out loud, her facial expression giving her away. Chrollo’s own features formed into a visual of worry.

“What? What’s wrong?” almost as if it was his instinct. That gave her even more evidence that he was truly her father. Danny never worried about her, but any slight movement drove Chrollo to panic.

“How long until that guy gets here?”

“Already behind you baby~” a deep voice sounded from behind her. Adeline turned around but was met with a stomach instead of a head. Craning her neck up, she found an exceptionally tall man with tan skin and fluffy grey hair. He smiled down at her.

“So this is Adeline boss?” he was addressing Chrollo, who nodded in response.

“Yes, she’s just finding this out as well. Adeline, meet Uvogin.” he explained. Uvogin made a face down at the both of them.

“Wait, you’re saying y/n never told you Chrollo was your daddy?” he kneeled down to her level, she could see his level of confusion even better now. She shook her head.

“Honestly, I suspected considering that my appearance is much like that of his own. Especially in the eyes and the nose,” she turned to face Chrollo who was also watching her, “and I looked nothing like Dan either.” she explained, finding herself being rather analytical. It wasn’t unlike her, as she grew she came to terms with the fact that she enjoyed learning and finding out new things. You always told her that she was intelligent. Uvogin laughed though, standing back up all the way.

“Damn boss she even sounds like you. It’s adorable. Anyway, where do you want me to put this thing? I assume this is Danny?” Uvogin wrapped his hand around the corpse’s waist, throwing it over his shoulder. The sight made Adeline sick and she doubled over again, nearly throwing up. Chrollo was at her side in an instant, holding on to her to make sure she didn’t fall.

“Sorry babe, I forgot you’re not used to that.” Uvogin turned his head away in apology. Adeline raised her hand to signal that he was fine but didn’t turn around for another minute or so, Chrollo soothing her the whole time. She felt dizzy when she met Uvogin’s eyes. The little names her called her were of some comfort, considering this must have been Chrollo’s–her father’s–friend. 

“Well, I’ll just take it with me so you two can have your moment or whatever. Tell her everything.” Uvogin sent a finger gun Chrollo’s way and sprinted off, leaving the Chrollo and Adeline alone. She was felt slightly perturbed by Uvogin’s absences, it was so quick.

And tell her everything is just what Chrollo did.

Chrollo told her about how he made you leave in an effort to keep you safe. He told her about his background, about the troupe, about you. About how much he missed you. About how badly he wanted to see Adeline born but he couldn’t because he was too far out. Adeline didn’t interrupt with anything, though she still had so many questions, but he kept going. He must have wanted to enforce as much trust in her as he could. It was working.

“I’m sorry for not being there and I’m even more apologetic for driving your mother away, it was for her safety...” his eyes never left hers.

“I understand, and mom does too. She was just upset.” Adeline accepted this apology even though she felt like he shouldn’t even be apologizing. It wasn’t his fault. He was just trying to protect you the best way he could think of. Chrollo let out a breath she didn’t know he was holding.

“Now, please, explain to me why you killed Danny?” there was no filter. It made Adeline’s stomach churn at the thought, the feeling of the house key tearing through his skin. She took a deep breath.

“I think mom was going to explain everything to me,” her voice had become shaky. She sat on the ground and curled into herself to gain some comfort as Chrollo followed, an arm draping over her shoulders and keeping her close, “and I think Danny somehow found out... and got upset about it. He liked when I called him ‘daddy’ almost in a like sexual way...” she tried to explain without crying but the word was almost triggering. She hated the way he’d make her use it. He become irrationally upset with her if she called him dad instead of daddy. It was disgusting...

“And I don’t know why... I think he... he just...” she was desperately trying to think of her next words. What could she say next? How should this all go? Chrollo was patient with her the whole time, never getting upset with her or scoffing. He just listened. She was so confused on everything that had just happened and the fact that it all happened so quickly.

“I don’t know, all I remember was that mom said she was going to talk to me and then I went in my room for like 5 minutes and then I heard her screaming,” she sniffled, not able to hold back her tears again. Her head fell into her knees for a few minutes before coming back up to take a deep breath, “and a loud bang against the-the counter. Dan was yelling at her about something, I can’t remember. So I went down to see her and make sure he didn’t hit her like I thought he did, but he did. Chrollo he hurt her...” Adeline was full on sobbing again, feeling another round of bile ease it’s way into her mouth. Chrollo’s grip on her tightened and he rocked her, letting one of his hands rub her arm. She laid her head on his shoulder and he rested his chin on her temple.

“Is she okay now?”

“I don’t know. She told me to just go and get help but instead I got upset and threw the pan she was cooking with at him. Obviously he got mad and started chasing me, so I tried to defend myself as best I could and-”

“It’s okay, I understand. It’s alright...” he continued his motions, keeping her at bay from breaking.

“Do you think you can take me to y/n?” Chrollo asked after Adeline had calmed down. She nodded, standing again.

“Yeah, I wanna make sure she’s okay after all of that. He didn’t get to hurt her too bad that I knew of.” she wiped the tears away with her hand, searching for her jacket somewhere. She found it next to a bush along with her bloody house key. Picking both items up she led Chrollo home, hoping to find you there, okay and at the very least, resting.

#Chrollo #chrollo lucilfer #hxh #hunter x hunter #fanfiction #sad #abuse #violence #domestic abuse #hunter x hunter 2011 #Chrollo Lucifer 2011

[beizhuo]

alright folks , i made this post last night about amending my carrd rules . & now , after calming somewhat down from getting sick to my stomach about it , i must now make one final update post about this to make people really & fully understand where i stand . why ? because i am , once again , having / needing to finely comb through the people i want to follow & interact with due to some very , VERY toxic behavior & terrible , childish individuals that think its real cute to stalk , harrass , steal , & gatekeep folks . 

understand that i will NOT be namedropping anybody in this post . this is not my intention . i am not out here to isolate folks or make people ‘ chose sides ’ . making people do that is absolutely horrible ! i do not give a damn who other people interact with . i do , however have extreme issues with theft ( amongst other things ) . i can draw a god damn line at theft ! 

harassment ? don’t care . you’re trolling , i can ignore you . gatekeeping . you’e petty and attention seeking im here for friends anyway . but actual literal theft - i can draw a line there . please get out & OFF MY BLOG if you are so unoriginal that you haveta steal from me or my friends !

please know that you can interact with those thieves & gatekeepers , i don’t care ! but understand that i will most likely softblock you because i genuinely do not want them to find me . no hard feelings . ( they have found my other 2 blogs , and i am tired of them finding me ! especially for baizhu ! i don’t even follow some of my friends here cause of this ! ) i am not even in the genshin community to begin with . my group ? we don’t do communities for toxic behavior and people being so exclusive to the point of driving people out & away . its distasteful and mean ! do you know that i have some friends that were cut off from communities entirely all because they were a dupe ? tHAT is the kind of dupe drama i fucking hate . along with theft . anyway . i will start from the beginning of my rules that i deem important .

DUPLICATES . ( AND MIMICRY / THEFT )

the irony that this is the first point . it is like it was a wonderful transition . anyway . this is actually having to deal with two rule points . and i want to group them together cause they are related .

myself & a few other people have come to find out that .... there is somebody AT THE VERY LEAST taking inspo from us . i will start with dupes .

my friend has a character and was WHOLLY mistaken for another mun . which is fine . that happens , but things took a turn for the worse when they were then shunned / cut off because they werent ‘ good enough ’ . do you know how HORRIBLE that is ? to be told that you aren’t good because you weren’t the mun that they wanted ? this is the type of shit i cannot stand with dupe drama . DO NOT EVER COMPARE DUPES WITH ONE ANOTHER !!! i mean it . 

i follow different childes ! and you know what i adore them both . they are both amazing ! 

sure i may have my mains / exclusives ( and im not inclined to interact with other blogs of that same character ) but i still like portrayals . i do , in fact , just READ threads sometimes . i don’t necessarily follow for interactions . like ffs man . i like variety . jesus christ .

going to mimicry / theft . you know ... i have fucking seen this with a couple of friends . there is a difference between coincidental similarities , however ! for myself & for my friends , we have SEEN inspo taken from us . im gonna say this really loud for people .

MIMICRY IS NOT FUCKING FLATTERY . 

do not take inspo from me . especially without credit . absolutely do NOT do it . you are very unoriginal for doing that shit . 

now , you like something i make / made ? you are inspired to want to make something ? fine , that’s okay , you can ALSO fucking ask me , you can also credit me . as you fucking should ! you can notify me and go , damn , i really like your style , do you mind if i use it in xyz ? sure , go right ahead . do it . im begging you , go ahead and do it IF YOU FUCKING ASK ME . god im so fucking angry about this , but this is some vile shit . and im angry .

i am angry and terrified cause i literally cannot get away from these people cause they seem to be wherever i go . i DO NOT DO COMMUNITIES BECAUSE OF THIS .

as a good friend said : it’s like they are a virus that you cannot get rid of .

thats what happens with attention seekers unfortunately , but for the sake of my safety & health , i will not have it on my blog or dash . if i see these people on my dash often , i will unfollow .

and it isn’t like a specific person , its a GROUP of people . which leads me to my next point .

DRAMA / CALLOUTS.

imagine having beef with an individual , and then going around and gatekeeping that individual and getting people to unfollow / block them . im not talking about , ‘ hey this person is vile because they ship incest ’ . i am talking about ‘ i had a disagreement with this person & they hurt my feelings >:/ they are mean and will hurt you . etc etc etc . ’ 

i do not give a flying fuck about somebodies issues with another person . so you guys don’t get along . not my problem . i have people that hate me . i have friends where i hate their friends . shit happens . i am probably absolute scum to some people lol . i get mistaken for other people sometimes . it’s fine , hate me cause you think im that person . that person is snowflake repellent anyway , go choke on your kool aide that you are drinking ig . 

okay sorry i am angry but still . people claim and cry about wanting to talk & communicate . but then . guess what . sometimes shitty people are like , so this person said this to me , and they are mean . IF YOU ARE THE PERSON THAT GOES ‘ OH MY GOD HOW DARE THEY ’ AND BLOCK THEM THEN YOU ARE THE PROBLEM . i will give an example . of using my two names that i have .

somebody goes to amphy and says ‘omg ghost said this , and im frustrated and angry with them cause what he said was uncalled for . ’ if amphy goes ‘ omg ghost is shitty ’ and then unfollows / blocks them without any other discussion , then thats an issue cause ghost has no idea wtf happen . amphy got involved in YOUR relationship with ghost even though ghost has been nothing but kind and sweet to you . you also don’t know if amphy is just victimising or being emotional either . so why they fuck would you believe somebody who is venting to you about it and then block somebody who did literally NOTHING to you .

i dont know if i explained that correctly but i will give you something more realistic , again without namedropping .

i have a few friends that hate one another . i’ve known all of them for years . but they all , i kid you not , they ALL fucking hate each other . there’s three of them . and they cannot stand each other . i just happen to be somebody who gets along with all of them . you bet your ass that at one point , they all came to talk mad shit about the others . what did i do ? i went , oh okay . well im sorry that you have issues with them . sounds like a bad experience , but i can’t do anything about that cause i am not you and i am not them . if you are gonna change my mind , it isn’t gonna happen , sorry !

i have had people shit talk people i have no idea who they are , and i just sit here just being a source for them to vent , but i never NEVER EVER act on anything i hear . why ? cause its petty drama and gossip . if you do that , then damn , sorry kiddo , get some help on that alright ? maybe be nicer . i dunno .

now . racism ? pedophilia ? incest ? HARMFUL SHIT ? that’s different . but again , theres a lot of miscommunication . i have people coming and pulling the cards like they are hot shit  and that isn’t fucking cute . THAT ISN’T CUTE GUYS . you are the problem if you try to victimize yourself cause of something YOU misinterpreted .

i have a friend that has this on their blog .

i am literally going off on a god damn tangent . anyway . :) 

fuck you if drink kool aide .

THERE ARE OTHER MENTAL DISORDERS! YOU ARE ABLEIST IS YOU ERASE THE OTHER (UN)COMMON ONES.

i know that autism is the ‘common’ one here . you are valid okay . but guess what . ADHD , BPD, DiD, and straight up depression and anxiety are also things as well ! there are MANY folks here that are also undiagnosed as well OR they lay on some sort of spectrum as well . I am once again not going to disclose my own things here cause again THAT IS PRIVATE INFO , but fuck you if you refuse to see other disabilities .

also there are physical disabilities as well btw .

if you are not understanding of any other disability , or you wanna mute / deafen other mental disorders , YOU ARE THE FUCKING PROBLEM .

end of story . 

treat other people how you want them to treat you and don’t you dare ever shove your baggage at them . thanks . 

please be more understanding that some people are not okay:tm: . 

i implore you to get help if you need help , but sometimes some people dont have to take your shit . and they most certainly do not need to sit and take your issues if they are not okay either . its toxic and very unhealthy behavior to expect others to help you . they can help you as best as they can , but you need to understand that everybody has their moments . do not guilttrip them . do not gaslight them . 

but also understand that sometimes , people are saying things cause they genuinely need help ! you can be there for them but as a friend , you need to also tell them your own boundaries as well and tell them that they need to seek professional help .

but also , if somebody refuses to get help , then that is on them . not on you . 

anyway another tangent , but back to the point . autism , while you need to understand is something you need to see and understand , is not the only mental disorder ! and you need to understand that some people suffer from really REALLY shitty things and are sometimes undiagnosed . i am really REALLY tired of depression , ADHD , BPD, and DiD getting brushed under the rug like they are not important . cause guess what , there are spectrums ! all mental health is important . fuck you if you disregard the other disorders , you are being ableist .

STOP HATE READING PEOPLE.

im really sick and tired of this . you don’t like something somebody said ? you can either : ask what they meant or block / unfollow them . 

DO NOT FUCKING STALK THEM EITHER . 

you have an obsession if you hover on their blog too .. do not do that . that is SO unhealthy for you . here is what a friend said on twitter . ( not name dropping them , just copy pasting them )

❛ i stg people need to fine a better hobby than to hate read a persons blog or profile. not a good look on you when you go and read what they post about just to get angry at something you think they said and then you go off spewing lies about it cause 'youre offended.'  

like you already hate them in the first place. you weren’t 'looking to see if they were a better person.' youre just looking to find another thing to hate about them. 

that is what hate reading is about. so you can read their posts and find just another reason to hate and laugh at how bad you think they are.

but it doesnt make you a better person. it just makes you a sad person with no life. stop hate reading people. grow tf up. go breathe on some plants or something idk.

i say this very loud and clear . if you hate read me , i live in your head rent free . not my problem . but it does become my problem if you begin to steal shit and start spewing lies about myself or my friends . grow up and move on with your life . sorry my life seems more interesting than you ig . idk .

anway this got long , and at this point i am going off on a tangent but !!!!

TL ; DR

read my rules ig . idk .

you can dm me for more info if you want . at this point i have blocked the problem blogs for myself. if you are curious you can ask . HOWEVER. i am not going to tell you to block or unfollow . why ? cause at the end of the day , it is MY beef . this are my issues . i am NOT here to gatekeep .

i will say that i will tell you IN private the for MY story . but keep in mind that it is MY story . not yours . not theirs . it is all about perception .

my perception is that they are scummy gatekeeping thieves . they gatekeep the people they dont like or are intimidated by . i am somebody who fucking bites and calls people out on their shit , because of this ? i make enemies . but my enemies are not yours . i dont care .  dont give a damn . i am intimidating to people who are cowards and i don’t care . 

if they feel bad when i call them out , if they try to go around and do damage control , then that means they are guilty .

and then you can ask yourself this : why are they reacting like that ?

i am once again going to bring up that other twitter user that i quoted before .

❛  you dont like hearing that because someone is holding a mirror up to you and it makes you uncomfortable because you know you . and you know the parts of you that are good . so in your heart you have to come up with a narrative that makes you feel better about the fact that somebody is asking your to confront the parts about yourself that you hate the most .

anyway . this got long . im so sorry for the long read . im so sorry i sounded hostile ad angry . im just volatile sometimes . im just really tired . and i dont need to come on this blog and have a panic attack . 

anyway . cheers loves ! stay happy , stay healthy . drink your fluids . take your meds !

#long post. #update tbd. #ooc tbd. #// i have no idea what else to tag this tbh . #there is drama mentions though so there is that i guess ? #but this is all important so ... #anyway ... #read / skim this or perish 🔪 #also if you wanna like this to let me know you read / agree with this go ahead . #im not checking for typos i am tired .